#terrified to pose this as an ACTUAL LEGITIMATE question but at the same time if someone legitimately answered this id find that funny /gen

[crazylittlejester]

if i am not your slightly concerningly mentally ill gay internet brother OR your charmingly stupid jester who’s constantly flirting with the king and saying the most bizarre things before doing a silly dance and jingling my hat bells to distract everyone how genuinely just fucking weird i am then who even am i to you, like how else am i being perceived

[river-bottom-nightmare]

Nightwing 83 Review

guess who isn't weeks late this time. my opinion of the series is going up a little bit. it's still not great, but i'm not actively put off by it anymore the way i was after 81. not going to tag as spoilers, but be warned that they are under the cut

i’m sure you all are well aware of this but now, but dear god i love bruno redondo’s art. like, an unhealthy amount. the pink and blue is getting to be a theme with either him or just this run, but i am definitely enjoying it. the movement in this cover is clearly obvious, but well done. you recoznize right off the bat that the cover was drawn to drag your eyes down the page until you get to the bottom, but you enjoy the whole ride there. 

also, redondo’s way of drawing a character in stages of action so we can see just how much they’re doing in a split second of movement is quickly becoming something i like to see drawn with dick, and any other character that has that sort of ease of movement and body sense, like cass or sin or maybe a super. 

and he’s in action the entire time! there’s shot drawn just to show off a shirtless comic book character, the way nightwing is so often subjected to. he’s shirtless because he’s changing his clothes, and that’s all we see, no more and no less. very practical, very well done. i like it.

he looks so cute right here oh my god. the little squint, the hair curls. it’s adorable.

but also like. unless melinda has specifically outfitted the door spyhole so that the person on the other side can’t see dick looking through it (and in all honesty she might have) then everyone on the other side can see dick looking through that door. 

bringing your attention back to the “i can’t see melinda’s fbi file oh no!! it’s redacted!! whatever can we do!!” stupidity. redacted files are child’s play for oracle, and definitely doable for both dick and bruce. so that’s bullshit.

now, melinda apparently grew up with the maroni family, then took down part of the family from the inside. the maroni family is a large and notable presence in gotham, one that bruce pays a respectable amount of attention to. he definitely would have grown suspicious when two members of the maroni family were taken down, and with some investigation, he would have discovered melinda’s plan. and it should go without saying that the majority of things you see batman doing? dick can do it too.

it’s not so much that i don’t like how clever the villains/antiheroes are getting. i don’t like how dc heroes are increasingly written as less intelligent. they seem to be relying on pure fighting skills or luck, which may be the case for a couple heroes, but has never been the case for most of dc’s big name heroes, the bat family included. it’s irritating to me to see this sort of stuff pop up as a major plot point when i know that, if dick or bruce had been written with the amount of skill and power that they canonically possess, this entire mess would have been sorted out years ago.

unrelated but dick and melinda have the same hair

this may just be me, but i was always under the impression that dick doesn’t really have a “double life???”

yes, he’s talented enough to create enough differences between robin/nightwing and dick grayson’s mannerisms, way of movement, voices, and speech patterns so that it’s very difficult to put the two together.

but nightwing has never been separate from dick grayson, not the way bruce and batman is. he’s always leaned more towards clark in that aspect: his hero persona is an exaggerated, stately, larger-than-life version of who he really is. there’s no second persona, no real “dick grayson identity” and “nightwing identity.” they’re the same person with the same goals, ideas, and skills. one just pretends to abide by the law, and one gives up pretense of that.

oh good thank god. if he’d trusted her right off the bat (hehe. bat.) i would have slapped him upside the head. at least he’s still got instincts.

gosh the colouring on this is cool. the red has enough purple and pink tones to it that it doesn’t abruptly ruin the tone of the artwork. but it’s definitely glaring enough to take the reader outside of this personal moment they had slipped into between dick and melinda, to put them back in the present where they’re reminded that oh yea there are people hunting dick down. 

the next panel keeps this up too, in a less severe way. melinda’s bodyguard shows up (i forgot her name sorry :[ ) and subtly places us in the middle of an action scene rather than a private, personal scene.

laughing so fucking hard have our little vigilantes grown so accustomed to breaking into places that it doesn’t even register as a crime anymore??? tim coming in through the fire escape to pick bernard up for their date and being very much confused as to why bernard is freaking out.

i really like melinda’s shirt and now despite all the work i have to do and the fucking conference i have to host on monday i want to spend hours scrolling through clothing shops online trying to find this shirt. the mock neck/neckline is so cool i want it

so roland just assumes that a very dangerous vigilante who is highly talented in combat and a very dangerous bodyguard who is also highly talented in combat had a fight that ended with this very dangerous bodyguard being tied up and she looks completely fine? roland just assumes that her having no visible wounds or bruises means that they got into a fight and she lost that easily? uh. aight then

dick what are you doing. legitimately what the fuck are you doing. why are you posing oh my god. you are injured and tired and in absolutely no position to go hand to hand with one of main enemies. jesus christ run away or head to lower ground or something. don’t just stand around letting the floodlights show exactly where you are.

i don’t understand what he’s trying to do here??? blockbuster fully bought the story that dick fought them both, won, tried to get info out of them and failed, then hightailed it out of there. he didn’t have to draw roland out for a fight.

but it does look cool. the way the light just highlights his silhouette and the blue parts of his costume does look badass. he does get style points in my book for this.

w h a t  d i d  i  f u c k i n g  t e l l  y o u ,  d i c k ?

very classic superhero line and it does sound like something dick would say in a fit of righteous rage but also it makes me laugh so hard because all vigilantes think they’re so powerful that the law doesn’t apply to them. dick vigilantism is illegal. you’re acting above the law and pretending it doesn’t apply to you. hypocritical much?

it happens so often in superhero movies, tv shows, comics, whatever and it makes me giggle every damn time.

pretty decent comeback but before i start seeing people writing blockbuster as a thug i’m going to remind you that he made a deal with a demon for genius level intellect. if this turns into another bane situation i’m going to be a little miffed. he’s a smart man, which makes him a dangerous and infinitely more interesting enemy for nightwing.

this is so horribly in character i want to scream. (or. at least. it lines up with one of the versions of nightwing i have in my head.) he’s running right towards the bullets, miraculously doesn’t get shot, while making a sort-of pun. i hate this so much. i love him.

this is cool. this art is really really cool.

he leaped from a building right towards a helicopter that’s actively shooting at him, but none of the bullets are touching him. none of the corruption of the city can touch him no matter how hard it tries, because he’s too good to be corrupted. Comic Book Logic Can Be Good Sometimes Actually.

batman’s belt what??? swiss army knife who?? sorry, i only know nightwing’s bright blue escrima.

this is one of my favourite things about heroes with exceptional abilities, even more so if the hero is human. the things they can do are so far beyond the realm of normal human abilities that it’s equal parts terrifying and awe-inspiring every time they act.

he just used modified grappling wires to hook to the door of a moving helicopter, swung around the helicopter safely without hitting the blades, gained exactly the right momentum to swing upward again right through the opening of helicopter, then fought and tied up the men before they had any idea what was happening. that’s near impossible to do.

it’s stuff like this where i just sort of sigh in contentment. no matter how many times they leave out dick’s detective skills or conveniently forget that he’s actually a master planner and team leader and make him out to be this forgetful dude who makes everything up on the fly because of his “circus roots,” at least they won’t ever take away dick’s sheer physical ability honed to perfection. 

the art, too! in a few panels, dick’s drawn a little lightened or blurred. he’s moving so quickly and fighting so efficiently that he can barely be seen by the enemy. he’s got perfect form all the way through.

and THIS!

there was a helicopter that had five men shooting at him with what looks like machine guns. most people would be dead. some would run away, and be nimble enough to survive without fatal hits. there are very few people, even in fucking comic books, who can look at that hopeless situation and turn it around so quickly and thoroughly that he benefits from it instead.

i just. love nightwing.

it was funny the first time as a comic reader aware of the meme. it’s really not anymore. why the hell would you, in universe, be wearing a shirt that has a picture of your boyfriend being hit in the face by his father. 

okay that was funny. 

look at lil bitewing, so concerned for her human!!! love her sm. 

also a question as to the timeline of things. is nightwing happening before or after urban legends? 

i was so distracted by dick wearing a robe and briefs and nothing else that i didn’t register the second part until later. he slept for two days?? babs, baby, he recently had a very traumatic brain injury. why do you sound so nonchalant?

@TIM X COFFEE SHIPPERS GET FUCCCCKKKKEEDDDDD

ngl i totally forgot about that dude oops

this comic is giving so many reaction pictures. you know how you always use the worst possible picture of your friend for your friend’s contact picture? i’m just getting so many of these.

leslie!!! the titans!!! lucius!!! dick going to go see old friends!!!! the titans!!! this part made me so irrationally happy it really did. gar being the one to just. offer dick solutions with open arms. this was the best

i wish i could just copy and paste this entire scene, but that would take up way too much space, so i’m just going to talk about it instead. 

you gave me my name, nightwing, and you gave me some of the best advice i’ve received in my life: beautiful little throwback to nightwing’s origin. you’d be surprised at the amount of people who don’t know where the name came from, or who don’t know how much clark means to dick. and the fact that dick still looks up to clark as a hero, recognizes that clark isn’t always perfect and yet continues to hold him in such high esteem, and still looks back on advice that clark gave him fondly just warmed my heart so much.

for a man who has fearlessly stood up to darkseid, bruce will do a lot to avoid a conversation: “grrr. i’m the BATMAN. i’m so DARK and MYSTERIOUS. nobody knows the true me. no one ever will. i will be LONELY for the rest of my CURSED LIFE. such is the price of a hero. ignore my farmer himbo husband in the background”

but i don’t think there’s anything heroic about being a billionaire: another nod to how much dick follows clark’s example rather than bruce. yes, this was a very poignant and important criticism, and i think it’s wonderful that this was published in a pretty popular comic book. but the thing is, there is a way to be a heroic billionaire, but only in fictional universes. the way bruce, ollie, t’challa only ever use their wealth to help people. they donate massive amounts of money to charities that they themselves create so they know exactly how the money is being used. they hire people who aren’t likely to get jobs anywhere else and pay them much more than what a base living wage is. they use their power to help push progressive laws and social change. they are helping. 

dick doesn’t fully see it that way. he spent more than half his childhood the son of a billionaire, but still believes that one could be more heroic when one doesn’t have obscene amounts of wealth. whose example do you think he followed to come to that conclusion?

superman looked up to alfred pennyworth?: i mean yea alfred may have been a wildly irresponsible guardian and one hell of an enabler but goddamn if he didn’t love his kid.

you don’t need my input. you’ve thought it all through: ooooooh this line made me grin. for so long, dick’s treated clark as a mentor and a guiding figure. he’s still seen as a kid, an up and coming, snot-nosed titan with dreams of a better world. clark still thinks of him as a kid, despite watching him grow up. but this little line was something i think dick needed sorely to hear. he doesn’t need anyone’s guiding hand on his shoulder, he doesn’t need to ask for permission. he doesn’t need clark to support him the way he did when he was a teenager. he’s all grown up now, and he doesn’t need clark’s help. i imagine it was a bit of a surprise for dick to hear that. 

honestly, i couldn’t think of a better role model: ohhh but it doesn’t stop there. clark just straight up turns the tables on dick. imagine you’re dick, and you’ve looked up to this one hero your entire life, and then one day he turns to you and says that he thinks you’re so kind and smart and worthy of a person that he wants you to mentor his son!? goes to show just how much clark trusts dick.

i swear to god dick probably cries every time he hears clark compliment him because bruce is so rare and sparing with his praise that clark giving him the slightest hint of approval is just a dopamine rush.

also, now deathstroke and superman have both asked nightwing to mentor their kids. the juxtaposition is fuckin hysterical. imagine either of their reactions when they realize what kind of company they’re with

lets talk colours for a second, because i absolutely adore how classic colour tropes have been subverted in this comic, and in this general run really.

warm tones have usually (usually, not always) been associated with light and comfort and friendship and,,,,,well,,,warmth. whereas cool tones are usually used to unsettle, or make a scene seem colder and put the reader on edge. this varies if a comic only uses cool tones, or only uses warm tones, but if a comic uses both, this is generally well-used.

that isn’t the case in this run.

dark red, orange, and other warm tones have been used to symbolize danger, action, attacks. hot pink isn’t usually included in this colour group, but it’s definitely part of it in this case. in contrast, scenes that have cool colours give us the impression of slipping into a comfortable, calm scene with babs, tim, the titans, and other allies. even the beginning scene with superman has this blue, but then it transitions into something more golden coloured. dawn broke over dick, as his new idea came to light, and that was reflected in the art (and the sunrise setting.)

have there ever been times when dick’s longed for the comfort of his mask because he didn’t feel confident as dick grayson? i can’t think of any. i may be wrong, but this struck me as pretty ooc.

am i just??? gay and reading this all wrong??

cause i was under the impression that when someone says they are grateful for your friendship you don’t immediately kiss them. 

or is this like. normal straight mating rituals.

i mean he’s smiling afterward but still babs aren’t you supposed to at least make sure it’s okay first? you guys broke up a while back after you said something along the lines of “i want to be coworkers with you and nothing more because i don’t trust you or feel comfortable around you as a civilian anymore.” like lmao after you say something like that to someone i would assume that you don’t have the permission to just kiss them whenever you want.

show of hands who else got real sad when they realized dick was talking about himself in this.

sure, he could be referencing the things he’s seen blockbuster pull, and the children on the streets. but “i’ve seen money used for enforcement,” sounds a little too close to dick’s entire life being destroyed by one man threatening the circus to pay protection money for me to completely ignore. and “i’ve seen the poorest and most vulnerable blamed and punished rather than assisted” becomes a lot worse when you remember dick was thrown in juvie for a couple months until bruce was able to obtain legal guardianship, and in there, not a authority figure believed him when he told them his parents were murdered.

he’s lived this before.

a. mother. fucking. typo.

fucking why

i mean i’ve stated my distaste for the batfamily groupchat before but like. this is reaching new levels of ridiculousness. jason sounds like he was written by a fanfic writer. tim sounds like he was written by a fanfic writer. steph sounds like she was written by someone who doesn’t know the first thing about steph and wanted to include her for “family points!!!!!” damian’s supposed to be completely off the grid, and everyone’s searching for him. i do love the way cass texts tho.

well god fuck now i’m crying

dick got a phone call, a sorry, and a thank you out of bruce. i feel so much secondhand happiness for him, if that’s a thing. we’ll just ignore the way bruce looks ugly af and focus on the good parts okay?

and again with the colour symbolism here!

i’m either going to love this or hate this. who knows, we’ll see.

something something hearts something something pink is an evil colour something something. i need to know more about this guy but there’s definitely symbolism there. 

is it just me or does this dude look like the backstabbing traitorous absolutely motherfucking piece of shit villain that killed tadashi hamada in big hero 6?

~~

taggggg list: @woahjaybird @birdy-bat-writes @anothertimdrakestan  @subtleappreciation @screennamealreadyused @bikoncon @pricetagofficial @catxsnow @maplumebleue-blog-blog @sundownridge @thatsthewhump @xatanna-troy @red-hood-redemption​ @capricorn-stark​ @batshit-birds​ @comics-observer @buticaaba​ 

[razieltwelve]

Tag Along (Final Rose)

Lightning wasn’t the least bit surprised by the strange looks she got when she turned up to her lecture with Fury. The chocobo chick hopped onto the lectern and glared as menacingly as he could at the students before he jumped off and settled into one of the seats.

She was well into her lecture before someone finally asked why he was there.

“Fury is my son’s chocobo. Since he is still attending elementary school, someone has to watch Fury during the day. That someone is me. Despite his size, Fury is more than capable of keeping up with me during day-to-day activities, and he’s perfectly capable of behaving during lectures.”

And that was the end of the matter. One of the best things about being terrifying was that pretty much nobody questioned her.

After the lecture was done, she made her way back to her office. Fury accompanied her, keeping pace despite his small stature. When the corridors were relatively empty, Fury was content to walk on his own. However, when they got more crowded, he would perch on her head. 

In her office, she’d set aside some space for Fury. Chocobos were social creatures, so simply leaving him home along wouldn’t be good for him. At Beacon, he got to spend time with her and with the chocobos that the academy kept. Admittedly, they were all either adolescent or adult chocobos, but most of them were reasonably friendly, and she had accompanied Fury to the stables earlier and made it very clear that if someone unfortunate were to happen to her son’s chocobo, the culprits would find themselves extremely dead.

She’d made that same point clear to the students. She doubted any of them were stupid enough to even consider a prank involving Fury, but she wanted to make it absolutely clear that her son’s chocobo was off limits. If there was so much as a feather ruffled, then there would be nothing but pain, suffering, and misery in the future of those responsible.

Fury was eating in his corner of the room. Chocobo chicks had some strange quirks to their biology. They spent more time than most people expected at a fairly small size - small enough to perch on someone’s head - despite eating quite a lot. However, once they started growing, there was no stopping them. In three or four years, assuming he followed the trajectory of most other black and red chocobos, Fury would likely be the size of small pony. In a decade, he’d probably be eight or nine feet tall. 

Once he was that size, he wouldn’t need anyone to look out for him. An adult chocobo was a nightmarish opponent: extremely fast, strong, and with incredible offensive power due to their claws and beak. An adult chocobo would have no problems killing a civilian, and the larger, more powerful specimens could pose legitimate threats to even qualified hunters. 

As Fury continued to eat, Lightning turned her attention to some mission reports. Her next class would involve the obstacle course. She was sure Fury would enjoy it.

X     X     X

Author’s Notes

Since Taren attends school, he and Fury can’t hang out all day. This is what Fury does while Taren is at school. He goes to Beacon, follows Lightning around, trains with the other chocobos, and occasionally spends times with some of the people he actually gets along with (e.g., Averia and Diana). It’s also not unusual for him to spend time at the lab. This is where he meets Professor Radical, although the Machiavellian hamster hasn’t made his appearance just yet. Still, when they do meet, Fury isn’t nearly as big as he’s going to end up becoming. 

If you’re interested in my thoughts on writing and other topics, you can find those here.

I also write original fiction, which you can find on Amazon here or on Audible here.

[beybladefanboy]

Top 5 Favourite Beyblade Characters

Random and unasked for but I figured I would talk about my favourite characters in the Beyblade Metal Saga.

#5 A tie between Chris and Hikaru

Chris

I’m putting these two in the same spot because I wanted both of them to be on this list and a “top 6” doesn’t have as good of a ring to it as a “top 5.” Anyways, the first time I watched Metal Fury, I didn’t care much about Chris. Now however, I find his arc of being stuck in a job that brings him no joy to be incredibly relatable. His lack of passion for Beyblade makes complete sense: the fun of the sport was completely sucked out when it became an obligation for him and he wasn’t allowed to fight for himself. He was completely obligated to his employer and had little choice in the matter. That would suck away anyone’s passion, trust me, I know. So seeing the light return to his eyes as he rediscovered his passion for Beyblading was incredibly satisfying.

Hikaru

A lot of the appeal of Hikaru is admittedly that she is a female blader, and yeah, it is great having a strong female character. (We need more of those) What’s great about Hikaru however is that she isn’t just a token girl character or a mary sue: she is treated the same as any other blader and is allowed to fail and feel emotions without being degraded. I like that we even see a bit of her backstory where we learn that she is driven to be the best blader because of her likely deceased mother’s words. It’s a shame that she quit Beyblade due to her trauma but I also think it’s understandable and that it was interesting to explore that trauma. The moment that broke my heart rewatching Metal Masters was when Hikaru sees Dark Tsubasa and is paralyzed by terror, clearly remembering what Ryuga did to her. Beyblade’s most powerful scenes to me are the ones that delve into a character’s mind and allows me to see their thoughts and feelings. It allows me to understand and be more attached to the character and we got a lot of that from Hikaru and Chris.

#4 Yuki

Yuki is kind of underrated in my opinion but then again, so is the entirety of Metal Fury. Yuki was a really fresh character for the series. Nearly every character is extremely reckless: acting first, thinking later so it was really refreshing to see a character who overthinks everything to the point of anxiety. I just relate more to a character that doubts himself and has to fight to overcome not just the great evil but his own self-doubt and fear as well. Also, I love that scene where he fights Ryuga. He probably knows he doesn’t stand a chance against a guy like him but he doesn’t care because he’s fighting for his friends. I can relate to that. When I’m just doing something for myself, I tend to doubt and question myself but when I’m standing up for my friends, I show no mercy. So yeah, Yuki is a really relatable character, as well as a pure cinnamon roll that needs more love.

#3 Kyoya

If you asked who my favourite Beyblade character was two and half years ago, I would’ve answered “Kyoya” without any hesitation. While I do still really like him, I think his character was kind of fumbled in Metal Fury. I’ll talk about that separately though because I want this to be a positive post. Still, Kyoya is a great character. I like how he develops from a villain to that one liner asshole friend of Gingka’s. While I do like him unironically, Kyoya is honestly just funny to me. He is so ridiculously arrogant about his own skills but he actually is as good as he says he is. He’s also a tsundere. He’s absolutely a tsundere. He’s always helping his friends with whatever bullshit they’re doing: helping them infiltrate the Dark Nebula, going to look for Gingka when he disappears, helping them infiltrate Hades city, going with them to look for the Legendary Bladers, and on two separate occasions, staying behind to fight someone so the others can go forward. Even his determination to beat Gingka feels more like friendly competition than actual malice. And yet he insists he doesn’t care about them with lines like, “It’s not like I came to save you or anything.” It’s honestly kind of majestic. He’s also a complete badass. He always gets back up after a loss and fights to the bitter end and, sometimes to the detriment of himself but never his Beyblade. When Leone was on the verge of breaking to pieces in The Fearsome Libra, he forfeited the match to stop that from happening, risking humiliation and accepting defeat to do the right thing. That is genuinely admirable. It takes courage to fight but even more courage to admit defeat. Also, his fight against Ryuga in Metal Fusion is insane. Kyoya nearly falls so many times but keeps himself on his feet and rises up again. It takes being stabbed in the heart by the dark power for Kyoya to be defeated. Out of everyone, Kyoya came the closest to defeating Ryuga through sheer will and determination alone. What a badass.

#2 Tsubasa

Similar to Yuki, Tsubasa is also a pretty unique character for this series. While he is passionate about fighting like all the others, Tsubasa is much more thoughtful and cool-headed, which is appealing especially among a cast of hot-headed crazy characters. When Tsubasa is first introduced, he’s kind of a mystery. We don’t know his true intentions or alignment until we learn that he was working for the WVBA, about 15 episodes after his initial introduction. This unpredictability made him interesting to watch in Metal Fusion as I didn’t know what he was going to do next. Then in Metal Masters, he becomes even more interesting. While it was emotionally intense to watch, I think the “Dark Tsubasa” arc is one of this series’ greatest achievements. It revealed a completely new layer of personality to Tsubasa and gave him so much development. 

While he was being somewhat controlled by the dark power, it is made clear through the dialogue that that side of him was always there and the dark power just enhanced and unmasked it. He did often hide his true emotions and intentions in Metal Fusion after all. The scenes where Tsubasa interacts with his dark self are very interesting and relatable to me because I often try to hide my negative emotions and avoid situations where they might come out until those feelings fester into madness, which is essentially what Tsubasa did. However, the resolution to this arc is what makes it so special to me. Tsubasa doesn’t drive out the darkness or continue to repress it: he accepts the darkness as part of who he is because everyone has darkness in them and the way to control it is to become one with it. And in the end, he becomes a stronger blader and person as a result of this arc. This is legitimately inspiring and helpful to me. It’s important to remember that we are not defined by our worst thoughts/feelings, we are defined by how we handle them and accepting ourselves, flaws and all, is important. So really that arc alone makes Tsubasa one of my favourite characters but he also has an appealing personality as well. It’s a shame he was kind of underused in Metal Fury but I love what we got from him.

#1 Ryuga

Yeah, okay, this was obvious. Take one look at my feed or even my profile picture and you could probably guess that I love Ryuga. Two and a half years ago, I hated him with a passion but after rewatching the show again, I realized I only really hated him because of what he did to Hikaru, Tsubasa, and Kyoya which yes was horrible and I don’t condone it in any way but he was under the influence of the dark power at that point and he never does anything quite that awful again. Anyways, onto the positives. Ryuga in Metal Fusion is the best villain the show ever had. He poses a significant threat and was the first person to legitimately defeat Gingka. He’s also a terrifying sadist that cackles at others’ pain. If Ryuga had stayed like that, I would probably still like him as a character but I certainly wouldn’t have developed a crush. Damn, that would’ve been nice. But alas, even in Metal Fusion, Ryuga is somewhat sympathetic when you remember that he is just a kid and was both used by Doji and not even in full control of himself because of the dark power. He is seen trying to resist its control in the final battle after all. It’s interesting to see a character who is literally corrupted by the power he sought out and actually does learn from his mistake. In Metal Masters, he realized that humans’ greed and hatred was what caused the dark power to be so harmful and decided to draw the power from its original source, before it was tainted by humans, and became super powerful. Even if you hate Ryuga, you have to admit that is awesome. And once he stopped being a sadistic villain, he became much more unpredictable as sometimes he would even help the main heroes in Metal Masters, albeit for selfish reasons. Ryuga sort of feels like a combination of traits I liked most in Tsubasa and Kyoya. He has the unpredictability and loner attitude of Tsubasa and the confidence and determination of Kyoya. Also, I don’t think I need to say that Ryuga is a badass. That’s not even an opinion: it’s something that we all know to be a fact. I mean, this is the guy who launched his Beyblade at a floating city, wrecking it enough to send it crashing into the water and causing a reactor meltdown that nearly destroyed the earth. That last part was unintentional and in all fairness, he did help stop the end of the world, but still, he is both powerful and reckless enough to do something like that. He was kind of frustrating in Metal Fury but I did like his friendship with Kenta and while his blind pursuit of power was annoying, I gotta admire the ambition. And… yeah, I cried at his death. I cried harder at that than anything else in this show at any other point I watched it, including when I was a kid even though I knew it was coming. Even though his motivations for fighting Nemesis were far from righteous, he still died trying to defeat the great evil and his final act was giving Kenta the star fragment to give the heroes the chance they needed to win. Ryuga died a hero, plain and simple. I wish he had lived so we could see him develop even more after that moment but either way, Ryuga is a great character. He’s the best villain in season one and I love his fiery personality and aesthetic in the following seasons.

[wyofabdoms]

Ten Days - Day Eight

Characters: Javier Peña x female reader

Summary: Javier is shot and refuses to take his antibiotic while recuperating. You get creative and make him a deal that ensures he will take his medicine everyday: one kiss for one pill. It's gonna be a long 10 days.

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Major character injury, slow burn, mutually unrequited, angst, swearing, soft and sweet Javi, period appropriate sexism, brief mention of broken Javi

Word Count: 2484

Note: You have a bad day at work and seek out Javi to keep you company.

Read the full series on Ao3

The Friday work day ends early for you and finds you seething as you stomp up the stairs to your apartment carrying two loaded bags, one stuffed with your favorite take out food, the other clinking with multiple bottles of red wine (and one large bottle of whiskey).  

It had been that kind of day.

All you wanted to do was drink yourself into a fuzzy stupor so you could forget the bullshit from today. The second you’re in your apartment, you shuck off your work clothes in the main entryway and pop open a bottle of wine in the kitchen wearing nothing but your bra and underwear.  As you gulp down the first sharp taste of tart alcohol, you wander to your bedroom.  By the time you’ve washed your face, put your hair up out of your face and changed into comfy shorts and a ratty tshirt, your glass is empty.  It’s a good thing tomorrow’s Saturday because you can tell right now you’re probably going to have a major headache in the morning.  You click on your record player and turn up your favorite Bruce Springsteen album, then snuggle into your couch with your food, another full glass and a trashy romance novel.  A few bites into your meal, though, and your train of thought wanders back to your day and you lose your appetite.

How dare they!  How dare they all.  YOU were the one responsible for that intel.  After the shit you’d had to do to track down that punk bartender and get him to talk...no one even bothered to acknowledge it. Not that you required them to stoke your ego and tell you how great you were, it wasn’t like that at all.  It was when you were passed over despite your hard work and someone else completely undeserving earned the praise that infuriated you. It was always that way (most of the time, anyway).  Every single male colleague you worked with always seemed to overlook the fact that, more often than not, you brought things to investigations that might not normally have happened; that you worked as hard as they did...oftentimes harder.  You had to to be successful in a man’s world. You were damn good at your job.  As cliche as it sounded, you often thought it as your woman’s intuition...an idea that many people scoffed at, but you knew was actually a legitimate and important trait.  But today had been more than just the usual workplace sexism.  Once again you had been overlooked as being an integral part of the team.  It happened so often by now that you were still surprised when it stung so much.  Today you had just felt like breaking.  So you had left work early...not even bothering to clock out or finish your paperwork.  

Fuck them!

You couldn’t stop yourself this time.  Tears began to fall again (Christ, when did you become such a crybaby?!?) and you shoved your face into a throw pillow as you sobbed for several minutes, getting the anger and frustration out of your system.  It was so unfair.  And you knew that if you had been born with a penis and were in the same situation, it would be a different story all together.  You also felt a pang of longing: if Javier hadn’t been sidelined and out of commission, you know he would have had your back today.  He was the one exception to the sexism you experience (most of the time).  It had taken some coaching on your part when you had first become partners; he had made his fair share of blunders that had hurt you and been unfair.  But he had always listened when you had called him on his bullshit, when you had explained how the things he had done or said made you feel, explained how they were not fair solely based on the fact that you were female.  Early on he had acknowledged when he was wrong.  He still occasionally did or said something thoughtless, but he usually was quick to recognize when he was wrong and he had inadvertently become your champion when things like today happened.  Though you hated to admit it, when he spoke up to others on your behalf, it made you feel good...although it also enraged you that a man’s voice pointing out your hard work was heard by the other men in a room rather than them all just recognizing it on their own.  Javi would have stood up for you today if he had been there.

Thinking about your partner reminds you that you should probably check in with him before you get too tanked...you definitely don’t want to interact with him after you’ve had as much wine as you were planning to have...and after you’ve been reading things you know you’ll encounter in your book.

You snatch up the bottle of whiskey, not bothering to hunt down his keys and patter down the hall to his apartment, tap, tap, tapping on his door, enjoying the soft buzz the wine was making you feel on the edges of your thoughts, eager to make sure he was set for the evening so that you could get back your own apartment.

As soon as Javi opened the door you realized immediately that you had made several critical errors despite only being one glass of wine in.  His eyes immediately traveled down your body, taking in your exposed neck; it was unusual for you to wear your hair up like this. They roamed further and assessed your t-shirt with hardly any elastic, the collar hanging low and dipping off one shoulder.  Despite the fact that you swam in the material, it was obvious to his keen eye that you were not wearing a bra beneath it.  You started to shuffle a little as his eyes traveled further and raked down your bare legs, his lips curling into a smirk when he saw your bright yellow, fuzzy socks.  You rolled your eyes at his roaming gaze.  My champion...you thought sarcastically.

“Hey!”  You said loudly, snapping your fingers in front of his face a few times then waving your hand in front of your own face, drawing his eyes away from your exposed legs.  “My eyes are up here, Peña. You don’t need to be lookin’ anywhere else.” He shot you a guilty grin, knowing he was caught and you felt some pressure leave your chest.  After his apology last night and the unspoken sweet moment that followed, you were afraid things might be weird between you.  Thankfully, though, things felt ok...until you see the smile drop from his face and his forehead crease in concern.

“What happened?”  He asks.  You pause, confused by what he means.  Then you realize: you had just been sobbing into a pillow in your apartment...no doubt your face looked as puffy and red as it felt.  You held up the bottle of whisky.

“I got passed over for another commendation today.” Your voice was full of false cheeriness, edged in steel and highlighted with fury.  Javi’s eyebrows came together  “Agent Dickhead got it instead.  Want to have a celebratory shot with me?”  

“Sure,” and he stepped back from the doorway to let you in.

***

Javi was appropriately outraged along with you at the injustice of the entire situation as you sat at his kitchen table.  After inviting you in, he had gotten glasses for you both as well as a bowl of chips and you had poured them each a drink. Out of the corner of your eye, you had seen him glance at you to check that your back was turned and you had watched as he knocked back a pill from the bottle next to the sink, keeping his back to you, and making no mention of it.  One shot had turned to two and you both went back and forth between chuckling and spitting ire over for the incompetence of the man who had wrongfully received the recognition that you deserved.  After your partner poses a particularly explicit hypothetical question regarding “Agent Dickhead’s” relationship with his mother that leaves you clutching your sides in a fit of giggles, he sighs.

“Sorry I wasn’t there.  I know you don’t need me or anything like that, that’s not what I mean, but…” he trails off for a moment and fiddles with his glass on the table before finishing.  “...I just wish I could have said something.  You don’t deserve to be treated like shit.”  You sigh too and lean back in your chair.

“Thanks.  I appreciate you saying that.”  You sit in an amicable silence.  Then you shift in your seat, stretching your legs from where you had tucked them up under you  “I should go.  I don’t want to keep you, I just…” your frustration from the day hits you again like a ton of bricks and in the next instant, to your utter horror you are blubbering into your hands, your shoulders shaking, trying not to sob hysterically in front of what you are sure is your mortified partner.  

You hear his chair scrap across the kitchen tile and you feel more than see him kneeling next to you on the floor.  Before you can react to his closeness, he wraps his arms around you and pulls you into his solid frame.  You think for a moment that you should pull away...but you just can’t. You breath him in as you lay your head against his chest and cry into his shirt, the soft smell of soap and cigarettes giving you something else to focus on besides your hurt and rage and you feel your tears start to subside just a little.  He buries his face in your hair for just a moment, taking a deep breath and releasing it in a heavy sigh, then he props his chin on top of your head, tightening his arms a little bit more around you.  

You stay like that for a while, his arms cocooned around you, you letting him hold you while you cry yourself out.  He’s told you before there is nothing more terrifying to a man than a woman in tears and you know how uncomfortable it makes him feel.  This isn’t the first time you’ve cried in front of him; it’s happened before on a few occasions, but it has never resulted in anything quite so intimate.  He usually slings an arm around your shoulders or simply sits next to you patiently, waiting until all of your tears are spent.  And then there had been that one terrible, dark time when you had found him curled up in the locker room at work at two in the morning, his head clutched in his hands, shoulders shaking, silently sobbing into the wall.  You had never been so frightened of anything as you had been then, seeing him so broken in front of you. You had held him and the two of you had never spoken of it again save for his grunted thanks the following day.  

You close your eyes and allow yourself to feel safe, feel small, feel cared for, even if only for a few moments.  Your breath comes in shallow stutters as your breathing begins to regulate.  Reluctantly, you pull back, sniffling and wiping your nose with the back of your hand.  You touch the wet front of his shirt, chuckling your apologies, embarrassed.  He shakes his head and shrugs in response and you force yourself to look at him.

His eyes are full of something that makes your heart pound.  The longing from previous nights, a reflection of your own hurt, and something that can only be described as adoration.  He brings his hands from around you and frames your face along your jaw, his thumbs carefully tracing the trails your tears have made on your cheeks, wiping away the last of the wet streaks.  

“You ok?”  He gruffs softly, the question reflected in his soft, sweet brown eyes as they search yours.  You can only nod, hypnotized by the incredible tenderness you see in his face.  For all of the resolve you have always had that has kept you from crossing the line with this man, you have never felt so much weakness as you do in this moment.  Every part of your being screams at you to wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him; to beg him to touch you, to make love to you.  You know if you did he would oblige you.  He would make you forget how hurt you are by work, make you feel like the most special person in the whole wide world, make you splinter apart under his ministrations.  All you had to do was close your eyes and lean forward…

...Before you can convince yourself to act or not, Javi makes the decision for you.  Cradling your head in his hands, he leans forward, pressing a soft, sweet kiss to your lips.  It lacks the heat of the last time your lips touched, but strikes a perfect balance between chaste and lustful, pressing just long enough to be more than a peck, but not so long that either of you get lost in your desires.  He pulls away after a few tender moments, pausing as he does just millimeters from your face, his eyes open and studying you carefully, taking a moment to breathe in the air from your exhalation, his lips hovering over yours.  Your eyes remain closed, though, unable to look at him for fear of wrapping yourself around him and shoving him to the floor to ravish him.  He lowers his head, his forehead brushing your mouth and he lets out a shaky sigh.  He whispers your name as though casting a spell and you open your eyes, staring at his lowered head until he raises it again.

He looks at you for a moment longer, then rocks back onto his heels and pulls himself up to standing, taking you along with him.  You stand a little too close to each other for just a moment, heat crackling across the small space that separates you, your palms flat on his chest, his hands resting on your elbows before they drop to his sides. He takes a small step back and the raw desire you see in him frightens you.

You mumble your thanks for the company and the drink along with an apology for losing your shit on him.  He waves you off, telling you not to worry about it, never breaking eye contact. You swallow hard and blink before saying goodnight and making your way back to your own apartment, your legs suddenly feeling like they’re made of jelly and your heart pounding so hard you’re amazed he doesn’t hear it all the way down the hall.

Day One 

Day Two 

Day Three

Day Four

Day Five

Day Six

Day Seven

Day Nine

[itsbenedict]

Two-Faced Jewel: Session 11.5

What Does a Moth Sound Like?

A half-elf conwoman (and the moth tasked with keeping her out of trouble) travel the Jewel in search of, uh, whatever a fashionable accessory is pointing them at. [Campaign log]

Last time: the party returned to Barley to deal with a few loose ends while their hired muscle dealt with the biggest, scaliest loose end. Between that session and the next, we had a brief mini-session to wrap up one of said ends we'd left unwrapped- what exactly is up with the Kanthalga family?

(Also included: a conversational omake between Looseleaf and Saelhen, pictured courtesy of @drazelic, Looseleaf's player.)

After their encounter with Kensa, Oyobi tries to talk the party into going to the tower and helping the Deathseekers kill the dragon. Her brilliant plan of "stab it in the brain before it can cast any spells" has some flaws, though, and they patiently explain the plan's many flaws and strike a blow against Oyobi's sense of invincibility.

They also ask Malath a few questions, trying to get to the bottom of her odd discomfort with the idea of the dragon as a culprit and the presence of Deathseekers.

Saelhen du Fishercrown: "When we spoke before, you asked us whether the dragon was green. I regret that I still cannot answer, as I have not seen it, or heard any news on the topic from the deathseekers. But you seemed... concerned that it might be a green dragon. Is there any reason that such a dragon might pose a particular threat to your town?" Benedict I. (GM): "Mmm. I don't know if you've heard, but... going on thirty years ago, there was a town to the east called Grain." "It was attacked by a green dragon, and the elders... as the dragon had words with them, they had to be remanded to the custody of their gods." Looseleaf: Oooh, that is harsh. Benedict I. (GM): "In the ensuing chaos, the miscreants who now inhabit Wheat set fire to the town and fled further east." "The survivors of the disaster fled west, and established Barley here." "If that same dragon still has its sights on our people, we could be in grave danger." "We refused to submit once, and it very nearly destroyed us."

As far as they can tell from their questioning, Malath isn't hiding any dark secret- she's just sort of a control freak, who's nervous that her control over the people might slip. Plus she's worried that if the dragon is provoked and comes to town, she- as the current elder in charge- might suffer the same fate as Grain's elders.

Saelhen... isn't satisfied with this. Something seems wrong about Malath Kanthalga- Thalath wouldn't try to enlist their help rescuing Kensa for no reason. She takes the party to the general store, in hopes of catching Kensa on her nightly delivery.

Kensa arrives as expected, but when she sees Saelhen there, she makes her delivery and tries to leave, rather than sit at the loom as is her custom. She seems afraid of Saelhen.

Saelhen du Fishercrown: "...I don't intend to keep you from your work. Though I did have a question I wanted to ask you, dear. If you'll permit me one." Kensa Kanthalga: "...A question?" Saelhen du Fishercrown: "Of a sensitive nature, possibly. Something vouchsafed to me by... someone you might know." Kensa Kanthalga: She looks less afraid and more confused, now. And after thinking a moment... "...oh." She actually looks a little angry, now. "That makes sense." "He sent you, didn't he?" Saelhen du Fishercrown: Okay, the conclusions she's reached here... may or may not be correct! "Under what I am starting to think may have been false pretenses." Kensa Kanthalga: "What did he tell you? Did he say I was being brainwashed?" "I don't need to be rescued from my duty by someone who abandoned his!" Saelhen du Fishercrown: "More a very general concern for your person than anything --" Ah, there's the word that raises her hackles, duty.

Having somewhat misread the situation, Saelhen is unpleasantly surprised to find that Kensa seems just as devoted to the teachings of Diamode as Malath is, and has no interest in fleeing. She seems contemptuous of her older brother on the basis that, uh...

Well, the Goddess of Family, who's all about having kids and living a very prescribed sort of life path inside strict gender roles, is- as might be unsurprising- a bit of a homophobe. The party never met Thalath's boyfriend (who works the night shift at Wheatley Inn- they never stayed the night there), but there are several reasons why the place isn't popular with the locals.

Saelhen is caught kind of flat-footed here- she can tell something's still not quite right, but she doesn't have the kind of cultural context to unravel this level of baggage.

Luckily, she brought along an ersatz cleric of Diamode, and so... Orluthe is able to spot the missing piece of the puzzle.

Orluthe Chokorov: Orluthe, in the back, has been looking increasingly uncomfortable. So far, he's had his stole and cap stowed away, so as not to be recognized as a cleric of Diamode. He's now taking them out and putting them on. "Hey, um, miss?" Saelhen du Fishercrown: Saelhen... legitimately forgot he had those. Kensa Kanthalga: Kensa turns and notices him- possibly for the first time. "Oh, ah- Mr., um..." Orluthe Chokorov: "Chokorov," he says. "I'm..." He holds up a hand, and points at a tiny circular scar around his pinky finger. "You have one of these, right?" Kensa Kanthalga: Kensa looks down at her hand, and you can see- yes, she has a matching scar. Saelhen du Fishercrown: Well. That's novel information about Orluthe. Religion check to... I mean, we know the finger-cutting thing. I guess a "what does this mean, it's not like these two have disowned anyone" check. 13 - RELIGION (2) Benedict I. (GM): With a 13, you know that only a parent needs to cut off their finger- but you're not sure what happens with sibling relationships. This might be something related- like you don't have to cut your finger off all the way? Some sort of signifier that the connection has been severed, though you don't know the finer doctrinal points. Orluthe Chokorov: "My older sister," he says. "Four years ago. We all had to get the mark." Kensa Kanthalga: "Wait, but..." Orluthe Chokorov: "You didn't want that to happen to you, too, right?" "You can't stand up to a power like that. You'd never win, right? If I tried to defend my sister, my parents would have two missing fingers." "You have to pretend, right?" Kensa Kanthalga: "Why... no, it's... I really...!" Orluthe Chokorov: "Feels that way, doesn't it? For a long time." Kensa Kanthalga: Kensa looks terrified- like for the first time, someone's seen right through her. Orluthe Chokorov:"It's not a betrayal of your family- of your duty- to... have love." "There's nothing in Diamode's teachings about the mark, you know? Neither of us had to take it." Saelhen du Fishercrown: ...well. That's a... new consideration. Kensa Kanthalga: Kensa's on the verge of tears, looking like she's about to bolt. "N-no, I- I really... want to... I have to..." Saelhen du Fishercrown: Saelhen is right back to Steal This Child Town. "...wait, do you seriously mean that the finger-cutting thing came after the scripture?" Orluthe Chokorov: Orluthe nods. "I mean, the finger-cutting is... it's a punishment. You're not supposed to disown your children. It's not like you can do it and then you lose the finger and then you're all square and it's fine." "And when parents scar their kids' fingers to make them share in a punishment for a sin they didn't commit... Diamode doesn't want that." "I should know," he says, gesturing to his vestments. Saelhen du Fishercrown: "...well. Thank you, Orluthe." Saelhen's face is hard. "I was previously under the impression that I had misunderstood a culture which is strange to me." "But now it sounds as if... I haven't, quite." Kensa Kanthalga: Kensa's makeup is starting to run. "What... what do you know? I- I wanted to... if I could've... I couldn't..." "What do you want with me?!" "I had to, okay? I have to!"

Orluthe having successfully exposed Kensa's fear and dissatisfaction with the situation, Saelhen proceeds to talk her around to trying to leave. It's pretty touch-and-go for a little bit, but Kensa's mind is made up when the party mentions that they're going to be passing through Corolos. Apparently, there's something there she really cares a lot about...?

So they're going to need a few days for Kensa to prepare to, uh, run away with a bunch of strangers. That's- this is technically kidnapping, right? This isn't something you should do in real life? This is kind of bad? Hm. Well.

-

Anyway, they've got some downtime here in Barley while the Deathseekers do their work and Kensa prepares to leave. And- well, later in the campaign, there was a flashback to this time period, so I'm going to cover that scene here.

Saelhen du Fishercrown: So: days in the past (but not many)... It's Cassie Zeishus's inn, and Saelhen is brushing up on her card tricks; she's let herself get rusty, just a bit, ever since she left... Well, since she got to Oyashio, anyway. She's cutting a borrowed deck at one of the inn's tables, downstairs, flicking cards from hand to hand, then up her giant poofy sleeves. Where's Looseleaf? Looseleaf: Probably sitting around outside, doing her whole 'fix-things-up' gimmick! After the early burst of things-to-fix, though, business has dried up a little. There's just not that many broken things left to fix that people need help with after a while! Saelhen du Fishercrown: Saelhen is... bored, she decides, for a reason. She can't evaluate how impressive her card tricks/cheating techniques are without a proper audience! She knows how they work already! So she leans out the door. "How goes the repair work?" Looseleaf: "It isnnnnn't," Looseleaf says back. "I think that there's not much repair work left in Barley at all!" "I've done too good a job and my business has dried up. This is why you never peddle perfect cures, innit." Abruptly, she gets up from the carpet she'd gotten Orluthe to roll out for her- the one from Lumiere's tower. "Boooored." She rolls it up. "I demand entertainment."

Saelhen decides to entertain Looseleaf by performing a card trick... and proceeds to roll a natural 1 on her sleight of hand check. She completely fucks it up, and Looseleaf- who had to be convinced to put money on the wager- earns herself a silver piece.

Saelhen du Fishercrown: "...I lost the card." "So I'm going to have to replace that for Cassie. On account of her deck being a card short." "Your card, specifically." Looseleaf: "Hhhhokay." "Wow, you're actually serious, aren't you." "I thought this was still part of the bit, but, if you're serious, you know the card's on the underside of your shoe, right?" Saelhen du Fishercrown: "I just want to reassure you that I'm good at this, Looseleaf --" Looseleaf: "I thought you'd stepped on it because, y'know, part of the trick." Saelhen du Fishercrown: "No, I already checked there --" Saelhen finds the Hierophant stuck to her instep. There's a beat. Then she blushes furiously, in what looks like actual mortification. "Oh damn it." "I haven't done that since I was sixteen, what the hell..." Looseleaf: Looseleaf laughs. It doesn't sound like her usual laugh, and you can only tell it's a laugh because she's bowled over laughing. The actual sound of the laughter sounds like- trilling chirps with a hint of vibration, a distinctly insectile sound. "Oh gods," she says while somehow still laughing simultaneously, "that was- I'm so sorry about how much I'm laughing, Saelhen-" She's still moth-laughing. "Please understand that your status is no way diminished in my eyes and you are still every bit as much of the cool conwoman you always were in my eyes- oh my gods I'm going to die laughing."

Saelhen, intrigued, attempts to use her preternatural skill at impressions to try and copy the laughter, which Looseleaf finds freaky-deaky.

Looseleaf: "Yeah, if you really want to imitate mothspeech what you actually need are the standard instruments. Your throats are not cut out for the kinds of vibes we naturally talk with." "No offense- your throats are perfectly nice, I mean." Saelhen du Fishercrown: "I'm aware my throat is lovely." "What do you mean, standard instruments? Some kind of... pipe, or flute, or something?" Looseleaf: "The Standard Instruments," she says, this time with an intonation so that Saelhen can tell it's words with Capitalized Letters, "are... sort of like a flute, yeah, except instead of working like a woodwind it's more like, a bunch of little flutes with flaps of springy metal at the end, so when you blow through the flute the flaps vibrate and you get a sound that's way closer to the range of sounds we make, and it doesn't hurt your throat nearly as much. The Standard Instruments for imitation mothspeech." "Alternatively, if you knew spirit magic, we could have just taken you to the Archive of the Ever-Living Voice, but that's not really an option..." Saelhen du Fishercrown: Saelhen attempts to imagine this. "So, ten harmonicas glued together." Looseleaf: "Yeah pretty much." Saelhen du Fishercrown: "...that last comment sounded alarmingly practical, in its concerns, Looseleaf." "Are you proposing to teach me, here?" Looseleaf: "How dare you imply that I would ever let slip the magical secrets of my people to an outsider who knows nothing of our ways or our culture why I am absolutely offended and ha ha I'm just messing around." "If you want to learn mothspeech," Looseleaf hesitates for a moment. "...Well, we should get started by trying to put together, as you put it, ten harmonicas!" "...Does this town have harmonicas?" Benedict I. (GM): This town totally has harmonicas.

So it looks like Looseleaf is going to be teaching Saelhen the language of the mothfolk!

Looseleaf hesitates, though. "...You know, learning mothspeech is- well, it's not likely to be useful, you know?" "There's, like, no chance you're ever going to get to really put it into use with anybody other than me." Saelhen du Fishercrown: "...it is a bit obscure, isn't it?" Saelhen looks contemplative for a moment... then cracks a grin. "Which means that absolutely no one will know when I insult them." "Beyond their range of hearing, even! Oh that'll be such an easy way to blow off steam, dear, I love it."

After a shopping trip to assemble the device that substitutes for having moth mouthparts, they have a nice time bonding over linguistics. Building the thing is tricky, but... Saelhen gets a good roll!

Looseleaf:"...Y'know, trying to reverse-engineer an instrument just from how you saw it once is... more difficult than I thought it would be." Saelhen du Fishercrown: Saelhen expertly pulls two pieces together. "This and this, yes?" Looseleaf: "Yeah, make sure you leave extra length on the tubes- I don't know exactly how long they have to be so we might have to cut them down a little to fit... The day continues. Looseleaf teaches Saelhen a whole plethora of fun insults in mothspeech. Things like, "You must have had a hole in your cocoon while you were pupating, because your brain clearly leaked out during your metamorphosis." "Remind me what instar you are again?" And, her favorite of all, a surprisingly terse noun that apparently translates to "immature child who sticks two feathers on their forehead and thinks that means they have the antennae of an adult."

Saelhen manages to nail the pronunciation pretty quickly, and adds Mothfolk to her list of languages.

The conversation turns to Elvish (Looseleaf is shocked to learn that Oyobi has been being rude this entire time!), and Saelhen's upbringing in Kanzentokai.

Looseleaf is shocked by Saelhen's quick mastery of the language- and of Tabaxi, and Halfling, which are apparently languages she speaks.

Eventually, Looseleaf decides to make a wager with Saelhen. The stakes: if Looseleaf can fool Saelhen with a card trick of her own, Saelhen has to teach her Thieves' Cant. If she loses, she'll have to tell Saelhen how she did the trick- a standard "is this your card" situation.

Saelhen gets a 21, and Looseleaf then has to explain that she was able to track the card via... spirit-linking. Which she then has to explain she's been doing to the bracer.

Looseleaf: "I'm trying to use this as a, uh, lighthearted segue, to confess to the fact that I've soooorta actually had a tracking magic thing set on you, like, since we met." "I'm hoping that's not, un- discomforting for you, since you said, you liked the whole suspicion thing I had?" "But, yeah, uh, I was totally suspicious of you the whole time, and my first response to seeing someone I pegged as a conwoman trying to con the university out of a magic item was, to, put a tracker on the magic item." "Which is that bracer. I know the position of that bracer, at all times, as long as it's within ten miles of me; further than that, and I know the direction it is relative to me." "I'm coming clean because- well, I guess, we're friends now actually, and you should know about the fact that I'm technically tracking your movements. And also because I want to give you the option to tell me to fuck off with that shit, if you want to." "I think that keeping the tracker's still a good idea, on a practical level, though, because of the, uh, use-case, where, a scary badguy chops your arm off to take the bracer, like that way we could still get your arm back and get the bracer back and I'm also rambling because I'm nervous that this is the end of our friendship aha." Saelhen du Fishercrown: Saelhen has gone very still. Like the hackles-up bristling from earlier, except... a lot less movement. "......" Looseleaf: "Look, if you want me to turn it off I'll turn it off!" Saelhen du Fishercrown: And then she very deliberately settles back into motion, with barely even a little bit of shaking hands! Deep deep breath. "...you make a good point. "About the, bracer tracking." "I am..." "Fine, with it." Looseleaf: "Iiii am not convinced you are fine. You seem like you are in fact very emotionally distraught about it," Looseleaf says with caution. "I could... put a tracker on something that's not the bracer, for you to hold, of your own volition?" "Really, at this point, I'm less scared of you running off with the bracer, and more scared of something happening to you because of the bracer." Saelhen du Fishercrown: "...with a condition." "Which is that you do not tell anyone that you can track things, or, if you have to reveal your hand, that you don't tell anyone that you can find me." Looseleaf: "...You don't want to be found, by... something or someone that wants to find you?" Saelhen du Fishercrown: "In general, no." "...I'll tie something around the bracer. Or place a coin between my skin and its surface, or something. You can track that." Looseleaf: "Okay. I'll try my best to not tell anybody about my ability to find you. Except unless I have very good reason to believe that, I dunno, a dragon has abducted you and if I don't find help for you then you're dead, or something like that. Is that fine?" Saelhen du Fishercrown: "That would be fine, thank you. And I forgive you for... the initial... situation."

It seems... Saelhen really doesn't want to be found, by someone. I wonder who?

Still, the two of them manage to talk the issue over like adults, and grow closer as friends- so that means everything is probably fine, there's no secrets anymore, and absolutely nothing else is going to go wrong in the town of Barley.

NEXT TIME: END OF DAYS!!! HOMICIDAL INTENT!!! THE SINISTER MACHINATIONS OF THE SHADOW-MAYOR OF WHEAT!!!

[aion-rsa]

Sasquatch: Hulu Docuseries Director on Murder by Bigfoot

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Some legends are so powerful they can never die, but they might be able to kill. That is a pervading idea behind Sasquatch, Hulu’s three-part murder-mystery documentary that explores a strange story of the famous cryptid tearing three men limb from limb on a pot farm in Northern California’s Emerald Triangle.

Fittingly premiering on April 20 a.k.a. the weed holiday “420” the series is told through the eyes of investigative journalist David Holthouse. A man who has built his career chasing monstrous humans, such as Neo-Nazis and sexual predators, Holthouse heard of these Bigfoot murders back in 1993 while laying low to avoid some gangs, and passing time working on the farms in the Redwoods. Now, nearly three decades later, he revisits the region to further uncover the truth behind the story.

Directed by Joshua Rofé (Lorena), and produced by Duplass Brothers Productions (Wild, Wild Country), Sasquatch is more than a monster hunt. It does dig into Bigfoot culture, and features interviews with notable squatcher James “Bobo” Fay (Finding Bigfoot), anatomy and anthropology researcher Dr. Jeffrey Meldrum — and even Bob Gimlin, one-half of the Patterson-Gimlin film, the most famous supposed Bigfoot video ever. But the series is likewise an exploration of the illegal marijuana trade in the Emerald Triangle. A haven to where the hippies of the 1960s counterculture once escaped, parts of the three counties that make up the triangle — Humboldt, Trinity, and Mendocino — have become off-the-grid zones where interlopers might vanish.

While a legend of a potentially killer Bigfoot looms large over the area, crossing the wrong character equally poses a mortal danger, and the documentary conveys that palpable human threat. In this way, Sasquatch is gripping, and full of shocking revelations as it takes the viewer on a journey that’s both an examination of cryptozoology and paranormal phenomena, and a true crime investigation.

Rofé joined Den of Geek for a Paranormal Pop Culture Hour to discuss the series, and how he became connected to Holthouse’s strange tale. In the following interview the director opens up about a childhood fear of the Jersey Devil, and how that fear was nothing compared to the frightening nature of some of the people he had to interview for Hulu’s Sasquatch.

Note: Quotes edited lightly for clarity and length

Den of Geek: There are weird parallels here with Lorena, the Lorena Bobbitt documentary, because you take something you assume people know a lot about, but they really only know part of the story.

Joshua Rofé: It’s interesting, my producing partner, Steven Berger, we sort of started to realize in the last couple of years, that our M.O. is we like a story about a household name, a word that is just part of common vernacular … where you come in with a totally preconceived notion. And by the end of it, hopefully, you will never think of that name or that word the same way again.

Why Sasquatch? Was it your own pre-existing fascination?

I grew up in New Jersey. When I was a kid, we’d go to day-camp in the summer, and it was in the Pine Barrens. I grew up terrified of the Jersey Devil. You’d have one or two sleepovers a summer, where you’re camping out, and [counselors] would take you to the old canteen, which is just an abandoned shed. You think, as a nine-year-old, that this is where the Jersey Devil resides. You grow up and sort of never think about that again but it’s still in your being.

Cut to February 2018. I’m making Lorena, and I have dinner with a buddy of mine, Zach Cregger. He’s one of the executive producers on this show. His parting words to me are, “By the way, you’ve got to listen to this podcast. You’re either going to love it, or you’re going to think I’m crazy for loving it, and it’s called Sasquatch Chronicles.”

Immediately, I just had no interest. Despite what I had been sort of terrified over as a kid, with the Jersey Devil, cryptids were just, at that moment in time, they were not something that I gave much thought to. And he said, “Just listen.” 

Read more

Culture

The Golden Age of Bigfoot Movies

By Jim Knipfel

What Sasquatch Chronicles is, is people calling up with their encounter stories. The next day, I listened to one episode. By the end of four days later, I’d listened to 11 episodes, and I was not hung-up on whether or not I believed the details of the stories. That was sort of irrelevant to me. What I was immediately taken by and really overwhelmed by was I sensed authentic, visceral fear as through-line with every story, from every caller.

I started to have this conversation with myself. Am I going to make a Sasquatch something? I can’t. I make social issue documentaries. My collaborators are going to laugh at me. And then I got to this point at the end of the week, where I said, “I’m going to make a Sasquatch-centric story. I don’t know if it’s a doc, I don’t know if it’s scripted, but this is amazing. And I’m going to do something.”

In the first episode of the documentary, you reveal David hasn’t told this story before. He has plenty of insane stories but kept this one in his back pocket. Why did he tell you about it now?

Keep in mind, David was working on Lorena with me at the time. I knew that in his experience as a gonzo journalist, he had seen and done a lot of crazy things. I sent him a text, and I just said, “Hey, I promise this is the craziest text I’m going to send you for the next five years. I want to find a murder mystery that’s somehow wrapped up in a Sasquatch story and pursue it as the next project.” He texted me right back. He said, “I love it. I got one. I’ll call you in five.” And then he proceeded to tell me that story from 1993, and here we are.

This is a murder investigation of sorts, and an exploration of this outlaw territory, but you begin with interviews from that Sasquatch community. Why did you find it was necessary to include them? You could just have gone straight to the territory where these murders took place.

If we were going to try and figure out what happened with this Sasquatch murder mystery, we needed to start at ground zero. And ground zero in many was, “Well, let’s understand Bigfoot culture. Let’s understand the history of Bigfoot.” Talking to people who can explain that very credibly, particularly in the Bigfoot community, and also talking to people who when they’re telling you about their experience … it feels authentic. You never for a second think, “Oh, this person is putting me on.” You know that they believe what they’re telling you … There’s a former cop in this who, when he relays his experience, I mean, this grown man is about to cry. He is terrified just recalling it, and it’s very tough to dismiss that.

Can you walk me through the unique challenges you faced as you filmed in this pretty dangerous Mendocino area?

All of the credit for that goes to David Holthouse. That’s his work, that’s his reporting, that’s his skillful and relentless development of sources, and frankly, putting himself in really dangerous situations when there was no camera present.

There’d be moments where we would be up there in Northern California, and maybe the next day was an interview with a Squatcher. Certainly, not somebody in the criminal underworld. [The crew] leaves the hotel, 8:00 AM, to get to somebody’s place. David, that night before, was going to meet a potential source, very much from that underworld and say, “Here’s where I’m going to be. If you don’t hear from me by this time, that’s bad.” 

I remember just sitting, wide awake till two, three in the morning, just waiting for that text message, “I’m out. I’m safe. I’m heading back to the hotel. I’m good.” So there was a lot of that, and then there was a lot of, when we were in the places that we were, sort of being overcome with this feeling of, “We better not overstay our welcome, because we’re not welcome here to begin with essentially.” And so, that was a new experience.

Do you think some of these folks up there in the Emerald Triangle, legitimately do believe in the existence of Sasquatch?

Absolutely. There are a ton of people up there who believe in the existence of Sasquatch, and they would base that on experiences they will tell you they’ve had. There’s a line David has in the show, where he talks about the belief in the supernatural up there, meaning Northern California, deep in those woods, running on a higher vibration.

You said that you hadn’t really previously experienced this kind of threat of danger with your work. Was this something that David tried to prep you for?

It was more conversation, sort of as a group, of, “Do we need security?” … Actually, you know what? I haven’t thought about this since it happened. We looked into hiring security. Nobody would go. Nobody would go, and it was something more or less like, if it’s going to go down, it’s going to go down.

I don’t remember David prepping us, so much as those conversations as a group, but I think everybody just understood. I think a big rule for me personally, and my crews, when we’re shooting docs is, somebody’s letting us in their home. Man, I don’t care if you have totally different political beliefs, I don’t care what. Someone’s letting us in their home. It’s like please and thank you, and take your shoes off, and be respectful. It was kind of that on steroids for this, which is, “Oh, and somebody might have an AR-15 in the bedroom, so everybody just behave yourself.”

…And the answers to our original question of, “What happened the day that these people claimed a Sasquatch murdered these people?” Well, some of those people were going to potentially hold the answers.

Let me backtrack a little bit to the hardcore Bigfoot stuff because you do talk to Bob Gimlin as well as Bob Hieronimus, who claims he was the guy in a Bigfoot suit. Did you walk away, finding one or the other slightly more reliable?

Oh, I don’t want to answer this one … I think there are going to be people who are going to believe both of these guys. These guys are in their eighties now, and — we’re going into very mild spoilers, but it’s one of my favorite things in the show, actually — there’s a real rivalry that is clearly decades old between the two of them, and it turns out they live down the street from each other, which is amazing. It’s a wild dynamic between the two of them, for sure. As surly as they get when they can be talking about each other, they’re both the nicest guys. They’re both the nicest guys, so welcoming, so thoughtful.

From that nine-year-old kid, camping in the Pine Barrens, terrified of the Jersey Devil, to now being on the other side of this three-part documentary, what is your takeaway about the power of legends?

Like you were saying, from being a kid who was afraid, camping in the Pine Barrens, to then listening to those stories on Sasquatch Chronicles, and hearing that visceral fear from these folks, to then making this and being in those woods — and feeling fear again. I think fear is a very powerful tool, and legends are often born out of people feeling afraid or wanting to make others feel afraid for specific reasons. And that’s where the real story lies, I think, a lot of times. I’m not coming down definitively on the existence of whatever or not, but people like to wield fear in the name of control. I think that’s where a lot of legends are born, and I personally find that endlessly fascinating.

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Sasquatch, the three-part documentary directed and executive produced by Joshua Rofé, and produced by Duplass Brothers Productions is available to stream on Hulu now.

The post Sasquatch: Hulu Docuseries Director on Murder by Bigfoot appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3ek9B0D

[vannahfanfics]

Okay okay I know I just send in a request, buuuut your writing is amazing so... could you do a ohshc prompt? About Haruhi and the twins? It could be platonic, romantic, as long as it’s just centered around them! Something will subtle angst and teeth rotting fluff! Maybe a sleepover between them? Where Haruhi’s oblivious self finally figures out how much she means to them?

Here it is! It isn’t very angsty at all but I tried to keep with the spirit of what you wanted. I hope you enjoy it all the same!

The Twins’ First Sleepover

Haruhi sipped calmly at her cup of tea as she sat between Hikaru and Kaoru as they entertained the handful of young ladies seated on the sofa across them. Though Haruhi normally entertained her own customers, every so often the pair of mischievous twins would kidnap her to weigh in on their avid discussions. So here she was, crammed between the two redheads as they courted the girl students with their shameless “brotherly love” gimmick. At one point Hikaru brought up something about a “sleepover,” which had the girls squealing and wriggling about as they probably imagined some sinful thoughts- and a possibility sparked in Haruhi’s brain.

“Have you two ever actually been on a legitimate sleepover?” Haruhi could practically hear the record scratch as the twins each looked at her in a mixture of shock and humiliation- inadvertently answering her question without the need of vocalizing. With wide eyes mirrored the brown liquid sloshing around in the elegant teacup, Haruhi’s head swiveled back and forth between them like a perplexed baby owl’s. She hadn’t thought in an odd question, but then again, she was the odd one out in almost anything that pertained to the host club and its rich entertainers and patrons… Hikaru’s mouth was the first to curl into a languid smirk. She knew right then as he leaned his cheek into his fist with glinting eyes that a scheme was hatching in that nefarious mind of his.

“Why, no, Haruhi; as a matter of fact, we have not. Are you offering?” Jesus, these two will use any means necessary to get in my house. Are they really so fascinated by poor people?! she thought with a small sigh. Now that she thought about it, though, it had been a terribly long time since she had participated in a sleepover, too. Part of her considered announcing a host club sleepover, but that simply wouldn’t do; her house was much too small, and entertaining the club of boys was much too draining for a few hours— let alone an entire night. Additionally, she never really had the opportunity to socialize with just the twins by themselves; though they had crawled out of their shells considerably since her arrival, she had the feeling that there was a lot more to delve into when it came to them.

“As a matter of fact, I am. Why don’t we have a sleepover?” she suggested with her normal deadpan, innocent demeanor. It apparently had not been the reaction Hikaru was expecting, because he let out a choking sound as he reared back with a wild blush. Her head pivoted to Kaoru to find an identical pink tint painting his cheeks as he stared at her owlishly. They then grinned devilishly to each other over her head in agreement, and as she shrank down hoping the couch cushions would swallow her up, she wondered if she had made a grievous mistake.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Coming!” she called as she hurried down the hallway, her bare feet slapping against the wood to echo through the small house. She skipped over the landing to run right for the door before the twins, who were incessantly ringing her doorbell, got too impatient and started beating their fists on the door in addition. She swept open the door while she fought to catch her breath and swept disarrayed strands of her caramel-colored hair back into place. The two identical twins were wearing matching grins, as if Haruhi hadn’t arrived like a bat out of hell to greet them.

“Hey, Haruhi~!” they chimed in unison.

As promised, Haruhi had arranged a sleepover to take place three days after her proposal. Though her father had been a bit unwitting to allow her to stay overnight with boys while he was at work at first, with enough gentle coaxing and reassurance, he had reluctantly agreed to allowing the house to themselves for the night. Haruhi really had no illegitimate plans in mind, but her father was so overprotective that it would just make the sleepover cumbersome and admittedly hard to enjoy. It was about seven o’clock in the evening and so Haruhi had already finished her bath routine early to prepare; she was freshly showered and her skin smelled faintly of vanilla lotion (because Tamaki insisted on a skincare routine for her; at first it had been an annoyance, but actually she had come to find it quite cathartic), and she was dressed in a pair of white cotton pajamas decorating with corgis in all manners of poses. Haruhi was actually an avid collector of ridiculous pajamas- they were often on sale at the supermarket, which was even better- and her corgis were definitely the pride and joy of her assortment.

“Nice jammies, Haruhi,” Kaoru laughed as he patted her lightly on the head. “If Tamaki ever spied you in those, his heart would probably explode, yeah?”

“Without a doubt. They’d be shipping him to the hospital for cardiac arrest,” Hikaru agreed with a snicker, hand raised to his mouth to curl his index finger at his lip as he chortled. Haruhi thanked them for praising her pajamas before she squeezed between them to all but push them into her house.

“No time to waste! Go get changed into your pajamas. That’s step one!” she ordered. They fumbled at the doorway to kick off their shoes before taking off for the house’s only bathroom with resounding “Yes, ma’am’s.” Haruhi’s out-of-character insistence was mostly because she was actually excited, having not partaken in the childhood pleasure for such a long time, but also because she really didn’t want her neighbors to spot the twins and badger her with questions next time they caught her alone. She shut the door behind her and walked down the hall just in time for the twins to jump out of the bathroom door in a grand flourish. They sported (naturally) matching baby-blue silk pajamas with dark blue buttons and needlework at the various hems. They were very tasteful and undoubtedly a product of their mother’s creative mind.

“Well, Haruhi, how do we look?” they inquired as they struck dramatic model poses. Haruhi giggled and assured them that yes, they were very handsome, before escorting them to her bedroom. They lingered in the doorway with wide eyes for a moment, as they had never been in a girl’s room before. Haruhi’s bedroom was overwhelmingly plain, mirroring her easygoing, relaxed personality, but nonetheless still held its own simple charm; on her schooldesk was a little succulent that she had been tending to for the last several years which now sprawled out its wide, bulbous leaves in a big pot. A few stuffed teddy bears were gathered in a small basket at the foot of her bed. She had a carpet with soft, fluffy fibers that matched the color of her curtains, which were drawn back to display the starry night sky and neighborhood landscape like an exquisite oil painting. It was nothing grandiose, but it was definitely Haruhi, and the boys seemed to appreciate this sentiment as they stood holding their chins and nodding in approval. As Haruhi quipped for them to get inside already, they saluted her before skipping across the room to join her on the rug, on which she had sprawled a thick comforter and several accessory blankets.

“What now?” Hikaru asked, watching with interested as Haruhi cocooned herself in one of the blankets.

“Well, when I used to have sleepovers, we would always watch a scary movie first. We’d all scream and hold each other at the scary parts. Since we did it first, though, we’d spend the rest of the night on other things and so by the time we went to bed, we wouldn’t have nightmares because we barely remember the movie,” she explained as she picked up the remotes to her television and DVD player to flip them on. Of course, her TV was incredibly small and an older model before flat screens, but hey, she was grateful to even have one in her bedroom. She already had the disc in the DVD player; it was an older movie about a haunted videotape where a monster would crawl out of the television and murder whoever dared to play it. Haruhi had seen it many a time. Though scary movies terrified the bejeezus out of her during the experience, she kind of loved the rush of adrenaline they gave her, and when one was with friends, it was much less horrifying, anyway.

Regardless of that fact, she was still screaming in fright and burying her face into Hikaru’s chest not twenty minutes later. Kaoru had a similar idea and had his arms wrapped around her waist as he pressed his face into her back, muffling his continued shouts of “ohGod-ohGod-ohGod-ohGod-OHGOD!” Hikaru wasn’t screeching like the two of them but his bodily was noticeably tensed as he wrapped his arms around the back of her head to pull her close. He nervously laughed at the two of them, especially Haruhi, asking her why she would choose a scary movie in the first place when she couldn’t even watch it; however, as an unearthly screech blasted out of the television’s audio system, he jumped violently and yelped aloud. This made Haruhi laugh into his silk shirt despite the tears brimming in her eyes; it was so cute to see him try to be a tough guy when he was scared out of his wits, too. By the time the movie was over, Haruhi was pretty much in Hikaru’s lap quivering but laughing at Kaoru, who had shimmied under the bed with only his bare feet sticking out, and at Hikaru, who had been looking at the ceiling for the last thirty minutes as he tenderly held the scared girl and pretended like the entire thing hadn’t been much of an ordeal.

“It wasn’t that scary,” he muttered for the tenth time as Haruhi finally pried herself off him.

“Yes, it was!” Karou wailed from beneath her bed frame. “I dun wanna do sleepovers with Haruhi anymooooore!”

“Pity, I guess you’ll miss the makeover,” Haruhi said with a click of her tongue as she crossed the room to pull out her small make-up kit.

“Makeo-“ There was a loud thump as Kaoru smacked his head against the wooden frame of her bed. “Owwwww… Makeover?” he cried as he wriggled backward out from underneath the bed to sit up and grin at her breathlessly, with his orange hair all scrambled from his actions. Haruhi snickered and sat down on her knees in front of them while spreading out her make-up. Haruhi didn’t use it for school anymore now that she was masquerading as a male for the host club, but she occasionally pampered herself on the weekends with some minimal applications of foundation and mascara and lip gloss. Honestly, her father had given her most of it and she felt guilty for not exploiting its range of options; given Hikaru and Kaoru’s proclivities for creativity, she had reasoned that they would enjoy dolling her up. When she explained this to them, they were nearly beside themselves with excitement.

“We’re gonna make you the prettiest girl ever, Haruhi!” Kaoru beamed as he plucked up a few of her powder brushes.

“Hey, she’s already pretty,” tutted his twin, which made Haruhi chuckle. Kaoru stuck out his tongue in annoyance at him.

“Of course she is! You know what I meant, meanie!” he grumbled before looking happily at her. “Okay! Now close your eyes so we can work our magic!” Haruhi did as instructed. With her eyes closed, she had to try her best not to wriggle at the alien sensation of the plush brushes feathering over her skin. Occasionally one of the twins would voice instructions, such as for her to purse her lips or open her eyes long enough to apply mascara. With no mirror in front of her, it was hard to really tell what they were doing, but to Haruhi the surprise was worth the anticipation. It really took them no time at all to paint the canvas that was her small face, and soon her eyes were open again watching as Kaoru bounced up and down with excitement while Hikaru held up a mirror. Haruhi’s eyes went wide in shock; though she would’ve imagined that with as much make-up that she felt them smear on her skin she would’ve looked like an upscale prostitute at best, it actually blended well nicely. Haruhi’s face was definitely her own, but with the brown-hued eyeshadow (the perfect tint to match her corgis) and lip gloss and blush, she also looked like some foreign model. When Hikaru lowered the mirror, she smiled sweetly.

“Wow, guys, thank you. It looks beautiful.”

“Yes, it does!” Hikaru quipped as he held up his fingers around her face like he was framing art. “Absolutely stunning, right, brother?”

“Yes indeed! We could send her down the catwalk, no problem!” he snickered. Haruhi smiled as she leaned back on her legs; she honestly wasn’t sure what would come of this sleepover, but she could honestly say that she was having the most fun in ages. Not that the host club wasn’t fun, but it was different… While the host club was chaotic and an adrenaline rush because she never knew what was going to happen, this was almost like nostalgic fun, like she was someplace that she was comfortable and belonged. It was a bit strange, but nevertheless, Haruhi savored it.

~~~~~~~~~~

By the time the three of them finally settled down long enough to even consider sleeping, it was 2 a.m. Haruhi had abandoned her bed in favor of sprawling out between them on a collection of thick comforters and pillows on the floor. At first, they had tried to convince her to do otherwise, but she had insisted that this was how sleepovers worked and it was either this or trying to cram into her twin-sized bed… So there they were. Of course, they weren’t even really trying to sleep; they were giggling in hushed voices as they relived many of the ridiculous things Tamaki had done, and the twins even filled her in on more comedic events that occurred before she had joined the host club. At present, Haruhi was snorting with laughter as she buried her face into her pillow, smearing tears of laughter across the fine cotton surface. Suddenly, she heard the twins sigh in unison, and looked up while wiping at her lashes.

“What is it?” she inquired as she looked between them. Hikaru was propped up on one elbow, while Kaoru was on his belly with his legs kicked up and crossed at the ankles.

“We were just thinking about how grateful we are to have a friend like you, Haruhi,” Hikaru answered. A faint dusting of pink blush even more prominent than the make-up she had been wearing earlier appeared on her round cheeks.

“Yeah!” Kaoru agreed with a nod of his head and a serene smile.

“I don’t get it,” Haruhi said blankly. “I mean, you guys have Tamaki and everyone else, right?”

“Ah, that’s different,” they bleated in tandem. Haruhi scrunched up her face as she tried to riddle the strange twins’ words out. She really wasn’t anything that special to them, was she? She had thought maybe they had just accepted the sleepover because it was something they had never done before, but she was beginning to think that perhaps Haruhi herself had more to do with it than she initially thought. Hikaru leaned over to ruffle her silky brown hair, smiling softly.

“Thanks for inviting us, Haruhi.” She blinked up at him, not quite sure how to react; then, he suddenly whirled around so his back was to her. “G’night!” Even more inquisitive now, Haruhi turned to look at Kaoru, who had done the same and was apparently asleep or at least pretending to be, snoring softly. Confused, Haruhi rolled onto her back to look up at the ceiling while the puzzle pieces shuffled around in her mind searching for their homes. A small smile gradually bloomed on her face like a night cactus flower. Maybe there wasn’t an ulterior motive for themselves and they just really wanted to spend time with me, she reasoned. She snuggled into the blankets as a warm, fuzzy feeling began to tingle through her body. They certainly had seemed to enjoy themselves completely, and they hadn’t made any sort of move that implied to Haruhi that they had any nefarious tricks in mind. A friend like me, huh? Haruhi’s hands rooted through the blankets on either side to find their arms, pulling at them such that she could grasp their hands and lay them down against the blankets. It was kind of an uncomfortable position for them, but neither of them said a word.

“I’m glad I have friends like you, too. We should do this again,” she said with a soft, happy sigh. Again, neither of them said anything at all, but she felt both their fingers curl around hers in silent affirmation.

Haruhi drifted off to sleep with a smile on her face, wedged between the two twins whose hearts she had unwittingly laid bare, even if just a little…

Enjoy this oneshot? Feel free to perusemy Tableof Contents!

[missmentelle]

About the post being jealous/controlling your bf & his friends, social media, etc. how do you stop those jealous feelings? How do you become ready for a relationship? What are the steps to take?? It tells you what Not to do but not how to fix it or prepare?

You make a good point - jealousy is very common emotion, but it’s not one that we’re really taught how to deal with. Many people don’t start trying to get a handle on their toxic jealousy until they’ve already had one or more relationships fall apart because of it, sometimes in explosive and spectacular ways. I used to blog about ways to manage jealousy, waaaaaay back in the early days of this blog, but the posts have long since been buried - this seems like as good a time as any to revive them. 

So if you’re struggling with jealousy in your relationships, or you’re concerned that jealousy might be a problem in your future relationships, it’s important that you:

Separate jealous feelings from jealous actions. It is okay to feel jealous - it’s a very natural feeling that we all experience from time to time. What’s not okay is acting on your jealousy, and giving yourself permission to control and monitor your partner because of it. When you’re merely feeling jealous, that’s something that only affects you, and it’s something that you can cope with on your own. When you act jealous, suddenly you are negatively impacting your partner, and turning your issue into their issue. Learn to separate the two things. When you feel yourself starting to experience jealousy, learn to check yourself and catch jealous behaviours before they happen. Ask yourself, “Am I about to do or say something that’s motivated by jealousy?”. If the answer is yes, that’s a solid sign that you need to remove yourself from the situation or distract yourself until you have a better handle on those feelings. If your partner texts an attractive classmate to ask them for class notes and you feel a sudden urge to interrogate them about their relationship with that classmate, stop yourself. Recognize that you are entitled to feel jealous, but that acting on that jealousy will likely be toxic for the relationship. 

Work on your personal insecurities. Insecurity is one of the main roots of jealousy. Many of us would feel jealous if our partner started working closely with an attractive 25-year-old coworker, but most of us would feel no jealousy if our partner started working closely with an unattractive 68-year-old coworker. All of us have shortcomings that we are sensitive about, and we are at our most jealous when our partner interacts with someone we perceive as a “threat” to us. If you are insecure about your body, you’ll likely be jealous of your partner interacting with people who are fitter than you. If you are insecure about your age, you’ll be jealous of people who are younger than you. If you are balding, you might be wary of possible rivals who have a full head of hair. The list goes on. But in general, the more insecurities you have, and the worse those insecurities are, the more you are going to struggle with jealousy. One of the best things you can do to prevent jealousy from taking root is to tackle those insecurities head-on. That doesn’t mean relying on compliments and reassurance from your partner - having your self-esteem tied to your partner’s opinion of you is just a recipe for more jealousy and insecurity. There’s no one-size-fits-all method for dealing with insecurity, but there are a lot of things you can try - seek therapy, find support groups, start a positivity journal, do things you enjoy, work on a skill. Find a method that works for you. 

Communicate with your partner. Assumptions and expectations of mind-reading are a recipe for toxic jealousy. Talk to your partner. Have an explicit conversation about jealousy, your feelings, your boundaries and your expectations. Ask them what they consider to be “cheating”, and share your opinions on the matter - you could ask 20 people this question and get 20 slightly different answers, and not discussing this topic in explicit terms is a recipe for disaster. If the two of you have any areas that you disagree on, talk about it and see if you can reach a compromise. If you anticipate that jealousy is going to be an issue for you in the relationship, tell your partner that, so that the two of you can find ways to support you in dealing with this problem. If at any point in the relationship, you are uncomfortable with a partner’s connection to someone else, don’t go secretly digging through their phone for evidence of cheating -tackle the issue head-on, explain your feelings to your partner, and look for a way that the two of you can move forward on this. 

Work on not feeding your jealousy. If you go looking for reasons to feel jealous, you will find them. Caving into jealousy is a vicious cycle - the harder you look, the more potentially “suspicious” things you will find, until you reach a point where you find yourself needing to monitor everything your partner does just to trust that they aren’t cheating... even if they have never cheated. Don’t spy, stalk or monitor your partner. Once you’ve decided that a certain friend of theirs poses a threat to the relationship, your brain is going to turn every innocent message and “liked” photo into a potential sign of unfaithfulness. Don’t feed those feelings. Find ways to cope, and have a direct conversation with your partner if you feel there is legitimate cause for concern. 

Don’t punish your current partner for your ex’s actions. In both my personal and professional life, I have seen many controlling, over-bearing jealous partners who justify their actions by saying that a previous partner cheated on them, and they are taking the steps that they feel are necessary to avoid being hurt again. Being cheated on is a horrible, gut-wrenching experience, and once you’ve been through it once, it’s natural to want to do everything in your power to avoid experiencing it again. Loving a new partner, however, requires that you find a way to put your past behind you and offer that new partner your complete trust and benefit of the doubt. If you are not emotionally in a place where you can fully trust your partner, then you are not yet in a place to be dating - you still need more time to recover from your previous relationship before you can get into a new one, and that’s okay. 

I’ve actually been having a lot of conversations about jealousy lately in my own personal life; a close friend of mine is currently struggling to cope after her partner left her due to her jealous behaviour. She was never cheated on, but her best friend was, and she absorbed some fairly toxic beliefs about relationships and men that led her to spy on her boyfriend and constantly accuse him of cheating. She was so terrified of being walked on or being made a fool of that she took things to extremes, and reached a point where she spent hours every day combing through her partner’s Instagram activity and regularly told him that he clearly didn’t love her if he wouldn’t accept her constant distrust. It was a toxic situation that her jealousy created, and I have spent a lot of time trying to help her figure out how to strike a balance between “expecting your partner to behave appropriately with others and respect the relationship” and “driving your partner away with controlling and abusive behaviour”. In working with her, I’ve been able to put together a couple of concrete “dos and don’ts” to address that balancing act. So if you are concerned that you might be a jealous person and you’re in a monogamous relationship (or a polyamorous relationship with set boundaries), these are some things that you should be steering clear of:

Stay out of your partner’s messages and emails. Those are not for you, and looking through them feeds jealousy. I personally have confidential client information in my work email, and there is zero reason for my partner to ever access it. 

Don’t demand your partner’s account passwords. They have a right to privacy, and it doesn’t mean that they are hiding something. 

Do not delete contacts, followers, or photos from your partner’s phone or social media accounts. This is gross, overbearingly jealous behaviour. 

Do not block people from your partner’s accounts without their knowledge. If you feel that you need to hide people from your partner’s view to keep the relationship going, the relationship is not going to survive. 

Never “test” your partner’s loyalty by having an attractive friend hit on them, or by trying to catfish them with a fake online account. I struggle to find words for how toxic this is. 

Do not demand that your partner drop all platonic friends of their preferred gender, or restrict contact with all members of their preferred gender. This is super controlling, and it’s not even possible if your partner is bi/pan. 

If you are uncomfortable with how close someone is getting to your partner, do not confront that person directly. Nothing screams “controlling” quite like texting your partner’s coworker out of the blue to tell them to back the fuck off. If you have an issue, bring it up with your partner, not the other person. 

Do not make sharing GPS location a condition of the relationship. If your partner wants to share this, fine, but it’s beyond unreasonable to make it mandatory. 

Do not constantly check up on your partner or blow up their phone if they don’t text you back right away when they are out. Let them enjoy time with their friends. 

Do not insist on tagging along every time your partner goes out. If you have a lot of mutual friends that you hang out with together, great, but they are not a child, and they do not need constant supervision. 

At the same time, though, I am not advocating for anyone to be their partner’s doormat. It’s important to understand that “not being jealous” does not mean “letting your partner walk all over you”. Telling your partner that they aren’t allowed any friends of a certain gender is certainly toxic, but at the same time, it’s okay to lay down some basic expectations that your partner will respect you and the relationship. So in general, this would include:

It’s okay to ask a partner to limit contact with their ex-partners. If your partner is in constant communication with their ex, it’s okay for you to feel uncomfortable with that and make it clear to your partner that they need to decide which relationship they want to be in. 

It’s okay to ask your partner to prioritize your feelings over an ex’s. If a partner is avoiding being public about the relationship, moving in together or getting engaged because they don’t want to make their ex sad, it’s reasonable to be upset about that. 

If your partner has suddenly developed an extremely close relationship with someone of their preferred gender that has obvious flirty overtones or takes up most of their time, it’s okay to voice your concerns. 

It is okay to ask your partner not to exchange sexual jokes, memes or images with friends of their preferred gender, or to let them know that it makes you uncomfortable. 

It’s okay to expect your partner not to do things with their friends that could be outwardly seen as flirty or romantic - like asking them not to sleep in the same bed as a friend of their preferred sex, or not to text a friend of their preferred sex late at night when they’re in bed with you.

If you and your partner wear rings or other symbols of your commitment, it’s okay to ask your partner to wear their ring in public (assuming they aren’t leaving it off for safety or health reasons, like a hazardous job). 

If your partner continually tramples over your boundaries and behaves inappropriately with members of their preferred sex unless you watch them like a hawk, the solution is not to become more hawk-like. The solution is to leave. 

Again, this is all a balancing act, and sometimes there is going to be a bit of trial and error involved in figuring out which boundaries are reasonable, and which are controlling. Open communication and constant work on your insecurities is necessary. Having jealous tendencies does not have to be a death sentence for a relationship, however, and it is possible to get to place where both partners feel secure and respected. 

[crossedbeams]

ROSE REVIEWS… THE X-FILES - S1.E11 Eve

<<1.10 Fallen Angel ———————————  1.12 Fire >>

I’m salty today and what better way than to transfer that into something positive than to finish this long overdue and almost certainly irrelevant recap of Eve. Read on for children who are almost as scary as their acting is bad, prison aesthetics and idiotic blithering by me.

THE PLOT

The fathers of creepy children are being exsanguinated on opposite coasts and Mulder wants to know the aliens have upgraded from cows. IVF suspicions run wild and with a little help from good old Deep Throat, the terrific two suspect genetic government experiments gone wrong may be responsible for the shenanigans. When the creepy kids go missing, things escalate and soda becomes a very dangerous refreshment...

Let’s go...

MY STREAM OF SEMI-CONSCIOUSNESS

Ah. The X-Files, the show that is always a scenic autumnal bath for my eyes…. And where under the leaves there is probably a dead person eaten by a molewoman or an alien. Honey? I’m home.

We find ourselves in an idyllic suburban neighbourhood, (always bad news on screen), where very concerned joggers approach an underdressed child and her stuffed animal. It’s hard at this stage to decipher whether the kid is creepy or just a really bad actor but the suspense synth hardly encourages us to give her the benefit of the doubt...

They head to the backyard, where peppy jogging neighbour fails to notice that the kid’s dad is dead coloured, posed like a corpse and basically, stereotypically and obviously dead... until he claps him jovially on the shoulder causing a tragicomic half slump of dead dad, and exposing vampiric looking marks. The kid screams, not sure why, she’s way too far away to see anything. This is the point at which I begin to suspect that she is both a bad actor AND entry #224 in the Vancouver local listing of Creepy Kids for Hire. Move over Conduit boy!

CREDITS!

This week we only wait 2.5 mins for our special baby Agents to materialise, Scully dressed as a Catholic grade schooler and Mulder wearing a tie designed, as far as I can tell, to look like mushroom soup with licorice allsorts floating in it.

Their poor fashion choices don’t seem to put them off them though, and we zigzag between lip biting (Mulder), making weird moany noises (Scully), and the level of inter office eye contact we’ve come to expect from these fluffy baby agents all set to a soundtrack of cattle mutilation chatter. And our series first (!) cow slideshow!

Scully is still naive enough to ask why Mulder believes cattle mutilation is linked to aliens. Give it a few weeks and you’ll realise that aliens is pretty much always the answer to “Why….” on the X-Files and that eyebrow is the only appropriate response before you just go with it.

I can’t wait :D

As Mulds and Sculls traverse some stairs, I realise that creepy kid #1 is called Teena. Spelled the same as Mulder’s mum. Because apparently the X-Files name bank isn’t only shallow in the male department. Also is Teena a normal spelling in the States? Here it’d only really be Tina….

I then get distracted by Scully in the biggest of purple coats. I’d love to see S1 Scully’s closet. A symphony of oversized pastels with overcoats to clash… don’t worry though hon. You’ll get some style later though for the bargain price of two (2) family members and also your ova. Poor Scully.

Scully also looks incredibly young in this scene, speaking all soft to the kid. Moments like this I struggle to believe that Mulder “never saw her as a mom” until Home. She’s all melty round the edges even though the kid is weird and creepy.

When creepy Teena starts talking about red lightning, the massively coached and unnatural pauses in dialogue and the trouble pronouncing exsanguination are just so glaring you can’t believe that this kid’s innocent charade will hold up as long as it does. But it all adds to the creep, just in time for…

**bring bring ** Scully leans in to kiss her spoopy partner tell Mulder there has been another murder. Darn. Seriously though. Close talkin to the power on uuuungghhh right here. No wonder this fandom is so thirsty.

We’re in Vancouver San Franciso, still in giant coats, for another exsanguination and what we now know is death by digitalis. Mulder says that the two estimated times of death were at the “exact same time” and I chuckle to myself like the pedant I am. Estimates cannot be exact dumdum. It also takes the edge off him mansplaining timezones to Scully. SHE IS A MEDICAL DOCTOR DAMMIT. 

This scene has very nice warm, sunsetty lighting which is nice as our Spooksters demonstrate why the X-Files department is always over budget; they’ve flown cross country to do two laps of a crime scene while reading a file aloud and the kid they wanna question isn’t even in town. Where is she? I’m glad you asked, coz remember that sunny warmness? Well it’s over.

Back on the east coast, creepTeena is getting outcreeped by a thunderstorm and what appear to be disembodied footsteps at her door. We see nothing but a flash and then the door is open. It’s tense and I’m pretty sure this is never explained, raised as a concern beyond “she got abducted”?

A new day means new suits, Mulder in a tie inspired by parquet flooring and Scully in eggshell and pinstripes and a brown trenchcoat named regret. It’s a lot to process and they still don’t seem overly concerned about Teena’s kidnapping. Despite his post Samantha abduction PTSD, Mulder’s only contribution is a dramatic sky point and the suggestion the cops need to look up, but then dun dun dduuuuunh - there’s another one.

Sinister Cindy in the house. Literally.

She informs them she has lived there “since she was born eight years ago”. Zero inflection with that info and a sentence structure as unnatural as the phenomena Mulder wants to blame. Deffo a rent-a-creepykid. 100%. The woodenness only adds to it.

Commence super awkward kitchen convo where they Mulder and Scully try and fail to find a tactful way to imply Cindy might not be this grieving wife’s legitimate child. A birthing video is offered and declined. Thank god. Imagine is CHris Carter had to watch rushes of an actual woman’s vagina with a female child emerging. 

Mrs Reardon’s insistence that Cindy was daddy’s girl is pretty horrifying once you know how it ends. Damn creepy kids. Listening in while watching politics, Cindy is infinitely creepier than Teena and I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not for this kid “actor”.

Back in the car and Mulder is still pretty blase about Teena’s abduction/kidnap, though I forgive him because his flippant potato/potahto is adorable and he does hang out in the bushes to try and protect Cindy from getting nabbed sending Scully off to the IVF clinic alone. Ahh... the foreshadowing is out there.

At the Luther Stapes Medical Centre, a doctor mansplains IVF to Scully. She does not punch him. Another way that she is better than me.She does however, maintain super intense eye contact with him for the entire walk and truly it is a miracle she doesn’t fall over.

The next scene is pretty uneventful except that I can honestly say that Sally Kendrick is the last human I would want toying with my cervix. She’s...robotic and it looks like she has to work out how to sit down like a human. She could give Theresa May lessons.

Back at the hotel there’s some funky camera panning that I am here for and also I think there is some dialogue but let’s be honest.... this is more important 

Yes Professor I would like some extra credit and may I also just smooth your poofy hair.

Even Scully knows it. Hence her confusion at being ushered out, for no obvious reason. She just wants to look at him and maybe get inside his shirt and ... and... Mulder’s “what’s a girl” is cute.... but this is cuter. (even more overanalysing of this scene here for ya glasses lovers). 

Instead of meeting a girl, Mulder meets Deep Throat in an excessively aesthetically pleasing place. Honestly, Eve is a beautiful episode. Despite the creepy kids and imprisoned women. (Eve Aesthetic here). DT seems very concerned that Scully not be invited and while I’m sure that this has some link to the possibility of spy!Scully, it reads more as jealous older manfriend wants pretty Mulder to himself. And honestly I get it. God, fic has ruined me. Anyway, enough of that, enjoy this picture of pensive waterside Mulder and try to recall the specifics of the Deep Throat reveal. Project Blah. Boys called Adam. Girls called Eve. Clones. Bad. Disaster. EVE-il is at work. ¬¬ (sorry)

Mulder has brought sunflower seeds because meeting an informant without snacks = rookie error. 

The important thing to note is that Deep Throat basically sets the stage for the Super Soldier Arc and everyone forgets about it when they actually get to the super soldier arc. God, for a continuity pedant, my fave is SO problematic!

Deep Throat finishes by telling Mulder he’s scored him front row seats to what’s left of the whole fucked up thing.

Cut to the most aesthetic Institute for the criminally insane and after some hot DAMN camera angles we get panic buttons and a tromp into the deeps where they keep all the government created monsters, including Eve 6.

I just wanna take a moment away from my snark and give a huge shout out to Harriet Harris who is SO good and creepy in this episode. A lot of the Season 1 extras/bit parts are average to the extreme and honestly, Harris makes this episode. Without her eyeball biting, jerky, wild eyed delivery, this ep would be as mediocre as the creepy twin actresses.

Now we’ve got that out of the way - we find out that Eve 6 screams when the lights are on but is fine with  an industrial sized flashlight being shone all up in her face.  Nobody’s ever got a good look at her... except presumably the person who undoes her straitjacket so she can pee? And now Mulder and Scully.

Eve 6 is my fave Eve tbh. She’s this perfect mix of terrifying and pitiful, alludes to the telekinetic connection that the younger Eve twins later reference, and is the kind of proof of government misdeed that and older Mulder and Scully despair of, delivered while they’re way too young in their partnership to do anything about it. She tells them that Eves are into suicide, psychosis and murder, and on exiting, our baby agents still don’t suspect the kids.

(Break for actual analysis) It struck me during this scene how this case tunes into both Mulder and Scully’s demons. For Mulder, it’s the missing girls and the incarcerated Eve represents a scenario that could explain Samantha’s absence in the most horrifying ways. What if she is a locked up experiment just like Eve 6? For Scully it’s a visceral representation of her struggle between scientific duty and Christian morality. The creation of Eve 6 is an aberration against both good scientific practice AND the divine right of Good to control life and death... and yet she is also a victim who did not choose too be engineered and while Scully tries to question her, maintaining composure, this face/stress swallow really says it all.

Just to double the sucker punch we cut to Cindy asking the lord to take her soul, her mother looking on with a mournful doomladen stare before telling her daughter how special she is. Cindy is unmoved, because she is special(ly evil) and Mama Reardon leaves, bereft of her husband and unacknowledged by her kid. We get it Chris Carter. Genetic experimentation BAD, family GOOD, foreboding, CHECK.... now can we just-

Mulder Scully stakeout! There is no iced tea in the bag and when Mulder posits that the adult Eves 7 & 8 did done the murders, Scully pulls this face, and mutters without much conviction that she was beginning to suspect the girls. 

GOOD CALL SCULLY

Except Mulder then says “no no and here is why” and Scully just goes with it. The whole delivery at set up of this scene feels very Season 1, by which I mean Scully vacillates wildly between submitting to Mulder’s experience and being done.with.his.shit, Mulder gets all the big lines/theories/feelings/hunches and Gillian especially (and David to a lesser degree) seem unsure how to play their nuances and dynamic. Essentially it all becomes irrelevant because CRISIS takes precedent but being the super-nerd I am, this stuff fascinates me as evidence of them still learning their characters. No way S5 Scully gives up on a plausible theory so easily, even if it makes 8-yos into suspects. If cats can be evil, these staring, soulless kids can be too.

Cue Mark Snow jangles and Cindy and her similar to Teena’s bunny rabbit run away from her terrifying wall dolls and many crucifixes towards the window where she makes terrifying eye contact with Scully’s binoculars before getting grabbed by someone who is considerate enough to announce themselves by turning on the lights?!.

Mulder will take the back! (any time Mulder. Any way ¬¬ ) and sets off with his almost convincingly held gun/torch combo while Scully takes the indoors. This is, invariably, only going to go one way.

DOWN GOES SCULLY!

Sally Kendrick/Eve? leaps through the window where Mulder confronts her by asking her which Eve she is, allowing her a chance to pull a gun, shoot at him and escape and this is why you don’t want S1 Muldo and Sculls handling your home invasion. I mean who holds their gun like this, takes out a psychopath and ends the day without a hole in them?

Fox “Thinks he can outrun a car” Mulder is who. 

I love his idiot face though.

Despite the fact that Cindy didn’t struggle/scream/react to her apparent kidnap at all, Scully’s remaining focussed on the adult Eves in support of Mulder’s dismissal of her earlier theory... well I already said it but - *sigh*

After Scully briefs the police and Mulder tries to reassurea distraught Mrs Reardon that her increasingly abnormal daughter will be found we get the kind of side by side, meaningful  moment that I am here for all day long. Except that the height difference is so extreme that they never actually get Scully in focus!

And Scully’s “and then what” brings us back to unsettling truth that even if the kid gets found, things aren’t looking good for her given how much murder is in her genes. Poor Mrs Reardon.

Very X-Files, through-the-motel-sign shot and we see Sally Kendrick taking Cindy into motel to meet Teena. The girls look... creepy... and Kendrick looks weirdly and simplistically happy given that she has multiple abductees, severe genetic issues and the FBI on her back. Maybe poor old Sal just wants a normal life? Unlucky girl, this is the X-Files, no happy ending for anyone EVERR. Except possibly a two-faced rapist who likes Cher but that’s for another time.

Back to Sally Kendrick who is rocking a poloneck and showing a remarkable lack of nutritional concern for someone supposedly a genius. Pretty sure 8 cartons of fries are no better for psychotic murder-kids than regular ones. She begins to explain that she was pretty hopeful that she’s evolved the murdering out of her second batch of Eves but turns out she actually made it worse! Let’s pop a check in the box for “playing into popular concerns about genetic testing” and “reasons you shouldn’t do it yourself”. She tells Cindy and Teena she’s “disappointed” that they’ve done murders ahead of the curve. They are not bothered which is unsurprising given they don’t know her/are psychopaths.

Aesthetically this scene is very pleasing and the lack of stilted kid dialogue “we just knew” vs. long sentences definitely adds to tension. As does the total lack of background music. Hearing even these fairly limited actors candidly and remorselessly admit to murder is effective. And Kendrick’s slightly desperate plea that they not think that way, that they be “better” as she designed has the double effect of showing her own Eve-y instability and her very human desire to not have made a horrible mistake in creating this terrifying she-devils.

Sorry Sal.

Genetic destiny’s a bitch

And the X-Files narrative demands that when you play god you get dead. unless you’re the CSM in which case you probably drink digitalis and kale for breakfast to aid skin regrowth. Bye bye Sally Kendrick. Thanks for the creepers.

On attending the crime scene, Mulder and Scully are midway through being told that the scene is undisturbed when they hear stuff breaking. This prompts some X-Files-Action-MagicTM and some truly outrageous faces by Gillian.

Yup

What is most disturbing on rewatching is that with the scene secured, Scully confirms death and Mulder goes to gaze out the window while the Creeper twins cower and cry on the floor. Noe we know they’re guilty AF by this point, but in the narrative DumbScull and MulderingItOver haven’t quite got there because they’ve been too busy gazing at each other so we have two children just whimpering in the corner while Scully pokes a corpse and Mulder mulders about. 

Scully does eventually go and pat them. And again I say fuck you CC and anyone else who “didn’t see her as a mother”.

Mulder volunteers to chaperone the creepsters to hospital and beyond and the guy in charge kinda just goes “meh”. Pretty sure some liberties have been taken with child service procedures but hey, at least this means we’re almost at the crescendo moment. Right?

Having loaded them into the car, where their spiffy red outfits match the velour upholstery and promised they’ll talk about “what happens next” (again, is this really FBI jurisdiction? Fox Mulder counselling bereaved kids seems like a HORRIBLE plan to me) , Scully and Mulder note the girls attachment and somehow miss the horrifying expressions of murder on their creepy little faces. 

Again though #aesthetic

Cue some spangly night driving music, Mulder looking all pops over a red vinyl steering wheel, Scully playing mom and the creepsters plotting murder in the back. Ver ver X-Files. They pull up to a used car lot masquerading as a rest stop and go for a group wee,Mulder makes the rookie error of a) hyping evil kids with sugar and b) letting them order a murder weapon, and as soon as Scully’s distracted, one of the creepsters, possibly Sinister Cindy creeps out to spike the drinks. 

Now at this point, honestly, I’m questioning the kids narrative motives. Yes they’re murderous, but aren’t they also meant to be hyper intelligent? Amd getting marooned at a nowhere rest stop, with the corpses of two FBI agents seems SUPER dumb. Like they’re a bit small and loudly dressed to hitch a ride to Vegas and make it on the strip. What gives, creepsters?

The waitress tries to stop her plan by insisting she wait to take the soda until it’s paid for, but is way too easily placated by the kids excuse. Stick to your guns lady, you might just stop a murder.

Although apparently nobody is paying any attention because THIS ISN’T SUSPICIOUS AT ALL IS IT?

Apparently Mulder doesn’t think so, even knowing digitalis is sweet and that there is something weird afoot, he doesn’t question his super sweet diet drink or the kids totally normal and not at all weirdly resistant to drinking sugar free soda and just does this. Seriously it’s like he wants to die in agony.

Scully’s not much better, simply commenting on the “syrupy” taste. MMhmm. Bitch. You’re a medical doctor with a previously voiced suspicion. Quit sipping the murder juice.

Fortunately, after some suspenseful drawn out paying and a forgotten key excuse, Mulder FINALLY twigs when he finds some green goop on the table. Apparently murderTwin is cackhanded when she pours and Mulder, having licked the poison just to check it’s murdery enough (I just cant even) rushes outside to karate chop Scully’s drink away from her in a way so unsubtle that the creepers escape.

Which is actually great news because it gives us all the chance for a nice dark, X-Files bread and butter cat and mouse around a truckstop, cool lighting and tubey-arty stuff sequence. Which I’m here for. 

Despite some pants ruining puddles, the twins are quickly apprehended except for some gun wielding truckers interfere because in this universe regular citizens can hold law enforcement at gunpoint and prevent them doing their job/identifying themselves and anyway everyone almost gets shot and the kids run off again. I should probably insert some pithy political point here about arming the kids too but I’ve been writing this review for 84 years and I don’t have the energy.

Fortunately, at this point Mulder and Scully rediscover some investigative nous and having flashed an ID and truckboy, they trick Sinister and Creepy into thinking they’ve sped off after a school bus. Mulder goes full on child catcher and nabs them with a “gotcha” and is finally deaf to their “we’re just little girls” plea.

I’d like to take a second to flag up his response “that’s the last thing you are” because he’s wrong too. They are little girls, as well as psychopaths, and everyone’s insistence that they must be one thing or another is a device for narrative obfuscation as old as the bible. The appearance of beauty/youth/innocence is not mutually exclusive of the presence of malign intent or evil. Just ask Henry James/Oscar Wilde. Or me. I literally wrote a dissertation on this so. Yeah. They can be little girls and killers Mulder. Don’t be reductive.

But I guess we do need the simplicity of “this kid is evil” otherwise Mrs Reardon ripping her daughter out of a picture and burning it would be more conflicting and we’re only on season 1. 

Likewise the disturbing concept of two eight year olds in a secure prison. I mean yes thy’re creepy but - duh duh dunnnnh - rescue is at hand! Eve 8 shows up for them and once again thy “just knew”. This is the kind of X-Files ending I love. This is the kidn of story I would have loved the revivals to pick up. Imagine (recast) grown Cindy and Teena, off doing murdery clone stuff. Yep. Okay. I’m done now. This is the end. 

Except the score. Which is...

A solid “C” Grade (26/50)

Plot 6/10 - It’s entertaining and a good idea but I penalised it because it depends on Mulder and Scully being super slow on the uptake. That said, they do actually solve the case.

Mulder  6/10 - Mulder is in charge (thanks S1) and presents a mess of grieving brother, heroic car catcher and good cop. Good, in character stuff but not exceptional.

Scully  4/10 - Scully seems to forget she’d an MD and a badass here. She lets Mulder talk her out of (correct) suspicions, gets taken down in the action scene and generally second fiddles. She’s a cute mom but not the Scully we want to see.

USP 3/5  - This was an ambitious idea, beautifully presented, and while it didn’t quite get the polish to make it iconic it is memorable, creepy and a good representation of S1 bread and butter eps. 

Other Characters  5/10 - These points are all for Harriet Harris. None for you creeper twins. None for you.

Bonus points 2/10 - One for being aesthetically pleasing. One for the dorky, cute, feeling out Mulder/Scully moments (motel urnghh) and also their mom and pop act at the rest stop.

That’s all for now folks. I’ll probably have the next one done this decade. Fire. Goodie.

<< 1.10 Fallen Angel ———————————  1.12 Fire >>

[johnnythirteenguns]

just seen justice league (this isnt spoiler free at all)

also went to thor: ragnarok for the third time to wash the taste out.

so i went to go see it for miller, momoa, and mera in that order. i was super impressed with mera. i thought they were gonna go the like easy way and give her an Accent like the amazons, but they didnt. even though her cadence was different like idk man i know very little about dc but i picked up a one-shot earlier this year where mera neatly beats the fuck out of the justice league on her own and she’s a semi-jerk who kind of hates surface dwellers and you know what for the thirty seconds we had her onscreen i believed it and she was powerful and felt like a character with backstory and i COMPLETELY didnt hear what aquaman was saying i just heard her side of the conversation

man ben affleck really doesnt wanna be here huh anyway we should recast him at the earliest convenience

also why was batman 90% CGI like fine i get it no one can be a gymnast in a 50 lb rubber suit but like every single one of his moves that required any bending had to have been cgi

speaking of which the cgi isnt like bad in and of itself it’s just typical like it’s the cgi youre used to seeing. it doesnt blend seamlessly into anything and the characters dont blend seamlessly into it. the cornfield looks fake as can fucking be and i dont really know why? what else there was another fucking weird cgi moment. anyway, steppenwolf is ugly as sin and has no emotion and is all one color and is??? generally weird looking

speaking of which. he is not frightening at all. the New Gods isnt something casual dc fans are gonna be familiar with (i am barely familiar with it) and like? apparently, darkseid was supposed to have scenes in this but didnt? anyway go see thor ragnarok which features 1) a horned villain that is legitimately terrifying and powerful, that you fully believe can do the things she does, and who is beautifully designed and 2) features glow-y eyed masses of disposable soldiers that are cool but goofy and dont take themselves too seriously but were still frightening and made for thrilling fights because you believed they could actually pose a threat to the characters they were attacking

the beginning... uh i think like three scenes of the film looked pretty good, but they looked like cutscenes. very GOOD cutscenes, but honestly... if i wanted it to look like this id have played... a video game. like, i want it to look like a real place even if it’s heavily stylized. uh but the first showdown where batman is luring a parademon out looks beautiful if fake as shit. the scene with wondy in the bank (which features a group of girls from an all-girls school... at a bank?) and terrorists wearing cheap pinstripe suits (like, this is fine! it’s nonsensical and stupid but fine it’s a comic book movie) was kind of cool because for once i felt like... maybe diana was a creative person who goes in wit ha strategy? like picking the dude up with the lasso and holding him up was fun i was like oh!!! thats not something a typical movie would do! it was the first time she felt like Wonder Woman to me (ive seen the wondy movie itself, it was... eh). uh and idk what was up with the standing on the scales of justice or whatever idk the hilarity of gal gadot on that statue which sits on top of a bank like. it was funny.

hey question what the uh... fuck was the “what are you” “a believer” line about it made zero sense in context at all

dont quote me on the order of scenes i dont remember fuck all of this movie in order because literally, the pacing was so weird. so... it was very obvious there were parts missing from the movie. not like, cuts made where you could be like oh there was something there or maybe there'll be a deleted scene no like you Knew there was stuff that was necessary that was gone. the football scenes with victor from the trailers were gone!!! i think the movie was trying to set up a really strong friendship with wonder woman and cyborg but it never really went anywhere? and i suspect because it all got cut! and i dont understand why because ray did a really good job and he sold cyborg to me so well i loved his take! 

also... i dont know if theyre saving it for the aquaman movie next year but did Arthur get a bunch of his stuff cut too? because i like jason momoa, and i like his arthur and so im sort of torn because, like, he didnt have much to do. like, he has the bit where he sits on wonder woman’s lasso of thruth and tells them all this stuff but you dont know enough about him for any of it to land? but i really wanted to know more (at some point i did give up on, this was a very passive viewing experience). my friend was saying that like literally why did they try to make arthur so Cool he’s already jason momoa he is by default cool now you can do whatever you want with him we’re all going to love him.

speaking of the lasso scene... was the entire last half of the movie re-writen and re-shot by whedon because like? the lasso scene is a whedon. the bit at the end where wondy goes “children. i work with children” is a whedon (THERE’S NO REASON FOR HER TO SAY THIS? I THINK THIS WHEN SHE HAS TWO TEAM MEMBERS LIKE LAYING ON THE GROUND AFTER NEARLY BEING BLON UP? IT WAS FUCKING WEIRD). i genuinely cant tell if all of barry’s dialogue was written by whedon or if that was ezra improvising but uh... man he’s... he needs to practice if that’s hm. if it’s just whedon i mean fine but he also doesnt have the shitty RDJ quality thats let’s him say those lines with believability.

speaking of which, going to see barry was my priority because apparently im gay for miller rn so like. uh. man he wasnt funny like there were a couple parts where he was cute and the line landed and it was fine but generally he just... wasnt funny? because the movie wasnt funny? like... idk man ezra really acting his heart out and ive said like cool i wanna follow his career and see if he does good stuff and gets even better at his stupid art but maybe he peaked with credence barebone i dont know. the first scene where we meet barry, with the flash pad and the pizza, that was good, that was funny. the bit at the prison was good. he has very soft eyes and thats nice. the panic attack is cute in the clip and the beginning like rhrgrh moment he has is good but then idk the pacing falls apart again

why is his character like this? i just dont think ezra’s... funny enough yet. (tbh i think he takes it too seriously even if he’s trying to be light-hearted man sometimes jokes is just jokes). there’s a bit where theyre digging up superman’s body and it’s JUST HIM AND CYBORG FOR UH? SOME REASON? maybe they explained why they sent the two babies but i didnt hear it and it’s literally just them two. and he tries to fistbump victor but vic is like “no” and tbh barry is annoying? like maybe u think he’s cute and an audience member but he’s uh... you can tell he’s annoying in the story and anyway then the flash says “right, racially charged” ABOUT A FISTBUMP? WHICH? LITERALLY MADE NO SENSE? WAS THIS LINE IMPROVISED? WAS IT WRITTEN? IM GONNA PUT MONEY ON IMPROVISED BECAUSE HE IS EXACTLY THAT KIND OF STUPID BITCH

if they were breaking into the lab why even bother going through the front door? barry drives the thing in (theyre trying to smuggle superman’s body into star labs) disguised a soldier (the literally most unconvincing thing, not to me as an audience member, because it was cute and funny to me,, but that a guy with THAT FACE is military like yeah sure, why did that guard believe him) but then they get to like the normal ass parking inside and the other three are standing there in full costume in full grey DC-brand daylight? are you telling me between 5/6ths of the justice league they couldnt sneak in a fucking pine box when wonder woman can lift a fucking tank on her own? like.

speaking of which uh.... superman is stupidly overpowered. like i said i read an issue of JL where mera hands every one of the justice league members their own gently roasted ass in hand on her fucking own. diana regularly kicks superman in the head. why was she not able to take him down? when theyre fighting steppenwolf for real it’s not until superman shows up that they even have a real fighting chance. they dont fight as team, they dont even fight as people casually unified in a common cause. theyre playing high-stakes legos and cyborg gets pulled away from them like three times?? and it gets fucking annoying? and then supes shows up and literally wipes the floor with him. it is so completely bizarre and stupid.

here’s a problem i still have with wonder woman: why is she so thin? the other amazons (except Hippolyta and maybe one other one) look built as FUCK? LIKE THESE WOMEN COULD EASILY TOSS ME ACROSS THE ROOM. wonder woman has serious fucking arms, where are they

also those amazon bikinis were bad. the whole styling of this movie is bad, but especially the amazons. everything is red and gold, for some reasons? the outfits dont looks heavy like armor, they look heavy like bullshit material. there is no reason for the fucking bikinis. the gold cloak hippolyta wears is??? heavy and looks like? like drapes like window dressing like thats the weight of it. additionally, there is no reason for their hair to be SO STYLED. it’s really like prom night hair it’s like shiny and muss free and always loose and in perfect clearly salon-styled curls. also, why are they so heavily made up? it’s really prominent. wondy herself has the same issue going on, she looks much more heavily made up (why is everyone’s blush so PINK, like it's distracting, is this a side effect of the recoloring process) and her hair isnt loose and doing its thing like in BVS or Wonder Woman it’s like... idk she looks really. Pretty when she’s on the field and it makes no sense.

the amazon fighting style is still ugly and makes no sense ive never seen such a wasteful fighting style it made sense exactly once during Wonder Woman

why is themyscira entirely the ugliest cgi i have ever fucking scene

why does the camera INSIST ON MOVING LIKE THAT. the action is super hard to track, the cgi is ugly as fuck (it really cannot be overstated)... i made it to about... i want to say when theyre on the way to the big fight and then the combined everything gave me a heaache that o had for the rest of the movie

i mentioned earlier that the pacing is weird the transitions are also weird. you get cuts to and from places that never fade into each other, it’s always a hard jump cut but it’s never the right cut to make? like, in thor ragnarok for example, there are a bunch of scene changes that happen via the bifrost, via people going through doors. there are wide shots that jump to wide shots in other places, so youre not suddenly on a close-up. there are a lot of people emerging from something into view, and there are a lof of people being alone in the center of the frame. it’s a very smooth and easy to watch movie. JL is the opposite of this in every way. I SUSPECT. AGAIN. THAT WHILE THIS WOULDNT HAVE BEEN FIXED ENTIRELY. THAT THOSE EXTRA TWENTY MINUTES THAT WERE CUT WERE PROBABLY REALLY IMPORTANT

the lois lane bit where she calms supes down just reminded me of the age of ultron and i quoted “sun’s going down” at my friends who were with me and they shit themselves laughing

ma kent calls lois lane “thirsty” in a Hilarious Teen Humor Gag thanks joss whedon you fucking hack

bruce wayne is fucking useless he could have got barry ANY JOB EVER and like... my god whatever.

also i still dont understand how how voice sounds like that when he’s batmanuh the after after credits scene is setting up, according to my friend, a sinister six movie. deathstroke isnt played by manu bennett so it’s fucking usless thanks for coming to my ted talk

[allenmendezsr]

Dr. Blocks Wellness Program

New Post has been published on https://autotraffixpro.app/allenmendezsr/dr-blocks-wellness-program/

Dr. Blocks Wellness Program

 Buy Now

    From Dr. Joel Block

What If You Could Reclaim Reliable, Rock-Hard Erections, Avoid Mortifying Moments, and Discover The Best Sex of Your Life Without Drugs, Pills or Potions That Can Leave You Limp Or Lifeless?

Take a deep breath…

You know that moment you keep dreading? The one where you’re minutes from an encounter and you have no idea if your erection is going to be there?

That moment…it’s over. For life.

But, it’s not going to happen the way you think. Or the way you’ve been told it has to happen.

Because, for the vast majority of men, drugs, herbs, pills and potions are completely unnecessary.

I’ll explain how and why in a second, but first, I have to get this out of the way…

If you’re anxious about whether the info I’m sharing with you is real, or just another online ED scam…that’s actually a good thing. I want you to be cautious. I want you to question what people are telling you (and trying to sell you), who they are, what their credentials are and what their agendas are. Because, there’s a parade of online scammers and back-alley hucksters selling bogus ED “cures” (in fact, if you see the words ED and cure in the same sentence, run).

And, sadly, mega drug-companies have now taken the reigns in the push to brainwash you into believing you need penis pills until the day you die (a day those same drugs might play a role in).

Before you choose drugs or herbal hooey, don’t you wonder how important it might be to understand the truth about what works, what’s utter fiction…and what’s so dangerous it’s actually been implicated in more than 200 deaths worldwide.

Dr. Joel Block

My name is Dr. Joel Block. Over the last 30 years, I’ve successfully treated thousands of men just like you in my New York offices. Yes, my real clinical offices, where real diplomas hang on the walls. Men come to me in tears, often having flown in from around the world, terrified of what might happen the next time they’re alone with a date or even a longtime lover or spouse…and can’t get an erection. Overcome by feelings of shame, anxiety and frustration, asking…

“Is there any way for me to get a reliable erection that doesn’t involve taking pills-for-life, a parade of awkward moments, never knowing if it’s really going to work, spending tens of thousands of dollars and the risk of me dying or getting one of those 4-hour erections that the commercials say you might get with pills…the ones that can cause permanent injury?”

Short answer. YES! A thousand time yes.

For all but a small subset of men who have either organic issues (like a radical prostatectomy) or more involved psychological issues, there is another way. One that will allow you to reclaim reliable erections FOR LIFE without the risk, embarrassment or cost of pills, bizarre herbal potions or permanently-inured penises.

ORDER YOUR RISK-FREE ED THERAPY PROGRAM TODAY – JUST $97!

I’ve Devoted My Life To Helping Men Just Like You…

Dr. Block

As a senior psychologist at North Shore-Long Island Jewish Health System in NY, I’ve supervised a major hospital’s Sexuality Center for decades, treating thousands of individuals and couples with sexual challenges.

I’ve become known as the doctor of last resort.

Men from all walks of life, from powerful CEOs to college students, have flown in from around the word to work with me after having failed at every other type of treatment, drugs included (yes, they don’t always work and even when they do, it’s not unusual for them to stop working without notice, until you fix the REAL problem).

I became so proficient at treating sexual problems deemed by so many others “unsolvable,” I was appointed to train doctoral interns in sex therapy and eventually appointed an Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry on the faculty of Einstein College of Medicine and a Diplomate of the American Board of Professional Psychology.

You may also have seen me featured in a variety of newspapers and magazines, as well as being a guest on:

•Today,

•Good Morning America,

•Charlie Rose,

•Countless radio shows, including Playboy Radio.

And, I have also been a psychology consultant to ABC. You may have also come across one of the many books on love relationships and sexuality I’ve written, including:

Also, and this is really important…I’m not affiliated with any pharmaceutical company or herbal remedy purveyor.

I have no agenda to try to sell you on a lifetime of dependence on their supposed solutions. I don’t get paid to recommend them, I don’t profit if you take them. I am completely independent, which makes it easier for me to stand up and reveal what’s really going on…

The reason I’m writing this is to share with you an option that you’re not being told about. In fact, the potion-pushers are spending billions to keep you from learning it.

ORDER YOUR RISK-FREE ED THERAPY PROGRAM TODAY – JUST $97!

The Day Big Drug Companies Fooled The World…

Back in the 1990s, researchers at a major drug company discovered that a highly-aggressive class of drugs known as PDE5 inhibitors, which were developed to treat hypertension and angina, failed miserably, but seemed to have a side effect. They were causing erections in some men. Clinical trials were re-tooled, the FDA was put on notice, pills were approved and the pharmaceutical companies began to wage a multibillion-dollar advertising propaganda campaign in an effort to convince you to hand your sex life over to their pills and pay them for the rest of your life.

But, there was a problem…

These drugs were originally intended to treat life-threatening conditions. They are very strong, very serious drugs. And, they carry a laundry list of potential dangers and contraindications.

In the context of saving your life, you might be able to justify the potential dangers posed. But, in the quest for an erection, the risks become extremely difficult to justify.

CIALIS®, LEVITRA®, VIAGRA® and Other “PDE5 inhibitors” Exposed

Watching the TV ads with silver-haired men giving their adoring wives and girlfriends that manly wink, you’d think medication was the dream solution. Pop a pill, shuffle off to the bedroom, have sex, get on your hog and ride into the sunset with your manhood reclaimed.

But, did you ever notice anything else about those ads?

Like the fact that nearly HALF of the ad time is taken up by a laundry list of everything that can go wrong, even horribly wrong, just minutes after their prescription medication enters your system?

Before you consider resorting to drug-induced erections, you may want to know about these potential side-effects. 

When you take PDE5-inhibitors, you may suffer:

A sudden, unsafe drop in blood pressure.

An uncontrollable erection that does not go down and causes long-term injury to your penis and your ability to ever get hard again.

Loss of vision or impaired vision

Loss of hearing without any warning

Headaches

Facial flushing

Stomach pain

Blue-tinted vision (I did not make that up)

Blurred vision

Sensitivity to light

Severe hypotension

Heart attack

Ventricular arrhythmias, and

Stroke

And, this doesn’t even include the huge list of drug and condition contraindications that when, mixed with ED drugs, have been investigated as a factor in more than 200 reported deaths.

And, here’s something else the drug-companies will never tell you…

It’s not unusual for ED drugs to stop working, without notice…

That’s right, it’s entirely possible that you’ll pop a pill hoping for a lightning rod at that critical moment…and end up with a wet noodle.

Even if it works once, it may well NOT work at some point in the future. And, the thing is, you’ll never get any warning before the pill leaves you limp. The only way you’ll know the pill has failed is when you reach that critical moment…and nothing happens.

How can this be? Because the drugs don’t actually start your erection, they only make it work better AFTER your brain is sufficiently aroused. It’s your BRAIN that lights your fire and gets your juices flowing. And, that only happens when you’re psychologically in the place you need to be. When you’ve taken care of…

The critical mindset fixes that need to be made for you to get hard, drugs or no drugs.

So, the bad news is ED drugs will likely never give you RELIABLE erections. Even if they work once, you’ll always be left wondering…

“Is this the day I go down in flames?”

Because your real problem is likely not in your penis, it’s in your head.

And, even if you could rely on pills (which you can’t)

Have you ever added up what it’ll cost you to rent your erection for life?

Do you have any idea what the real economic cost will be to you? I always knew ED drugs were insanely expensive, but when a pharmacist friend recently reminded me, if you get your drugs through legitimate channels, the average pill cost is about $20, I was floored. Think about that for a minute. If you had drug-induced sex only once a week, your penis pills would end up costing you more than $1,000 a year. Bump that to twice a week and you’re over $2,000 a year. Now, extend that out over the next 20 or 30 years, that’s…

$20,000 to $60,000…to rent your own erection once or twice a week!

So, we now know that ED-drugs can:

Cause permanent-injury to your penis, debilitating-illness, disability and even death,

Stop working at any given moment without any notice, and

Cost you $20,000 – $60,000 for life

By now, you’ve got to be wondering something…

If this is all true, then why do some doctors prescribe it so readily?

Reason #1: A Small Percentage of Men Actually DO Need Pills

A small percentage, those who have what we call an “organic” basis for ED, like having undergone a radical prostatectomy or having serious heart disease, may be best served by pills (though certain heart conditions may also make medication unsafe). Though, truth is, even if that’s you, pills may still not work. Because even when an organic basis for ED is present, there is also ALWAYS a psychological basis. And, if that’s left unaddressed…it’s not unusual for the drugs to outright fail.

Reason #2: Most Doctors Do Not Know About Drug-Free Mindset-based Treatment

As a clinical psychologist who is also on the faculty at Einstein Medical School in NYC, I’ve specialized in the area of sexual dysfunction for more than 30 years. I’ve been at the forefront of research. I live and breathe this every day. But, truth is, most physicians don’t. For decades, they’d routinely send patients to psychologists or psychiatrists for treatment. But, they had little or no exposure to my highly-specialized area of practice or the highly-effective non-drug treatments I’ve used to overcome ED in my patients every day for decades. And, nowadays, truth is, it’s often easier to just offer drugs. In this case, easier is often the worst thing you can do.

Reason #3: Big Pharma Is Spending Billions to Brainwash You Into Thinking Drug-Induced Erections Are Your Only Option

When you’re constantly barraged with propaganda that tells you drugs are the only real solution, there’s good chance you’re going to go to your doctor and ask for that drug, whether it’s your best option or not. Because you don’t know there’s a different way…a better way.

And, when patients come in pleading for fast and easy pills, it’s hard to say no, especially when you’re not well-versed in the mindset-based solution that, once learned, costs nothing for life and dramatically improves not only your sex-life, but your relationship and life.

So, now you know the truth about ED drugs.

You’ve finally seem how horrible a a choice they are for all but a few men who’ve got no other choice.

But, I’m betting, especially if you’ve been searching online, there’s another option you’ve run into…

ORDER YOUR RISK-FREE ED THERAPY PROGRAM TODAY – JUST $97!

For most men, your real problem is not in your penis, it’s in your head.

That doesn’t mean it’s not real. It is VERY REAL!

But, it’s not about the plumbing, it’s about the crippling, anxiety-producing, confidence-shattering thoughts, concerns and fears that are cutting off blood flow to a penis that’s otherwise fully capable of getting reliably rock-hard.

Which is why I’ve distilled my decades of practice into a clinically-validated, step-by-step, home-based, drug-free, herb-free, supplement-free (meaning scam-free), totally-discrete, lasting program that:

Gives you back dependable, rock-hard erections

Frees you from being shackled to medication for life that can kill or maim you, stop working without notice and cost tens-of-thousands

Stops you from buying or dying from rogue herbal remedies online or on the street

Eliminates potentially mortifying pill-popping moments

Puts and end to the shame, anxiety and fear about not being able to “get it up.”

Is free for life, once you understand and master the techniques

Has zero side-effects or risk factors (beyond massive gains in confidence)

Can be mastered in a matter of weeks or months in total privacy without ever having to visit a doctors office or healthcare professional

Was developed, tested and validated over more than 30 years in a clinical setting, and…

Is virtually guaranteed to work for YOU.

It bypasses your plumbing and goes straight to the heart of the problem…YOUR MIND

ORDER YOUR RISK-FREE ED THERAPY PROGRAM TODAY – JUST $97!

Component #1: The Mind Over ED Manual

The foundation component of the ED Brain Breakthrough program is the 50-page Mind Over ED Manual. It’s packed with information that will quickly transform the way you feel about your ED, yourself and your partner, then reveal the heart of the proven treatment protocol developed over 30 years and tested and refined on thousands of patients.

Here’s a sampling of what you’ll discover:

How to overcome the mental barriers to getting and staying hard

How to maintain stronger erections that last longer

How to become a better lover, regardless of whether you have trouble getting hard

How to talk with your partner about sex and what’s going on with your erections in a way that makes you both comfortable

How to rapidly overcome performance anxiety and reclaim your erection

How to take the pressure off by refocusing on your partner

The Guide Book will also:

Shatter the biggest myths about losing your erection, expose what’s really happening and how to get back to great sex.

Walk you through a custom Sexual Response Assessment that will help you determine the exact steps and techniques needed to rediscover regular, strong, lasting erections

Reveal the surprising link between morning erections, sexual erections and the need for medication.

Let you understand the difference between the physical and mental components of ED and what the impact of each is on your specific erectile challenges

Identify the 6 major physical causes of ED and guide you through determining which, if any, you have

Reveal the rarely discussed, yet erection-killing 7 psychological causes of ED

Give you a window, maybe for the first time ever, into what’s REALLY going through a woman’s head when you can’t get it up or keep it up

Discover the 3 things you need to do immediately upon losing an erection if you want any chance of getting it back while still in the moment

Learn the true effect of “blame” on your ability to get and stay hard

Share the 4 things your partner can do to help you get your erection back

Reveal the 7 huge mistakes most men make when trying to keep your erection strong

Give you the 1 question you need to ask your doctor about every medicine they ever prescribe

Explain what’s really happening when the pills don’t make you hard

Uncover a single technique that will not only enhance your sexual prowess, it’ll help get, maintain and recover strong, lasting erections

Bust the myths about what’s natural with age and what’s just in your head

Explain why trying to get hard will almost always make you soft

Show you the 4 critical guidelines to recapturing intimacy with your lover

Reveal the 5 key steps for a lifetime of hot sex

Tell you what single test to ask your doctor for in order to tell if you’re one of small percentage of men who may be best served by medication

Share the 5 thought-based techniques that will allow you to literally think your erection back to life. 

Here’s a quick look at the Chapters in The Mind Over ED Manual

Introduction

Chapter 1: Under The Hood: Anatomy of an Erection

Chapter 2: What Erectile Dysfunction Is…and Isn’t

Chapter 3: Physical Causes of Erectile Dysfunction

Chapter 4: Psych Cause of Erectile Dysfunction

Chapter 5: First Aid To Save Your Relationship

Chapter 6: Seven Ways to Keep Your Erection Strong

Chapter 7: See It, Believe It, And It Will Happen

Chapter 8: Change Your Focus, Grow Your Erection

Chapter 9: Four Key Guidelines For A Return To Hot Sex

Chapter 10: Five Steps for a Lifetime of Hot Sex

Appendix A: Uncommon Erection Wisdom

Appendix B: Think Your Way to Erection

Value: $149

Mind Over ED Mindset Training Audio & Script

In less than 10 minutes a day, this mindset and relaxation training audio will begin to transform your thought patterns around ED and reprogram you to reverse your ED and be able to reclaim your erections. Use this for a few weeks, then graduate to the included 30-second script that you can simply memorize, then play in your mind just before sex to help ensure a powerful erection and great sex.

Value: $49

The Mind Over ED Complete Lover Secret Dossier

The Mind Over ED Complete Lover Secret Dossier is packed with precious strategies, secrets and techniques designed to turn your ED on its head and use it to make you an even better lover than before ED!

You’ll discover:

How to go from an adequate lover to a super lover AND relieve performance pressure

How ANY man can please his partner AND take the pressure off his penis practically instantly

The SECRET you may already know but aren’t using to connect with your partner sexually—and it doesn’t require an erection! 

The 3 steps to surrendering to your partner that will actually put you in control

The 6 eye opening tactics for super-boosting your arousal and your partner’s arousal instantly

3 easy- to- do things that will tempt your partner to tell her friends that you deserve the GREAT LOVER award—AND will also help you relax and enjoy sex again!

10 super-charged strategies for bringing romance into your relationship AND restoring erectile confidence

5 crucial steps that will keep you aroused and avoid the distractions that undermine your erections

To identify the 3 Sex Bandits and the 5 steps to rid them from your life

How to keep rolling sexually and enjoying it no matter how old you are

Value: $49

Your Most Intimate Sex Questions Answered

Over 30 years, I’ve been asked every question on the planet about sex, including ones you’d never even have the guts to ask, even anonymously online…but you desperately want the answers to.

Your Most Intimate Sex Questions Answered isn’t just a book, it’s a veritable top-secret roadmap to the answers you’ve been dying to know for years. It’s filled, from end-to-end, with all the private questions that men and women have asked me about sex.

You’ll discover amazingly frank, but sensitive, clinically grounded answers designed for you and your partner, and while I include a lot of very direct, how to (and, how not-to) insights, strategies and techniques, what you’ll learn goes way beyond that.

You’ll literally benefit from the best, most powerful, sometimes even provocative advice shared with my private patients over 30 years. It’s the next best thing to being on the couch in my office, and getting to ask that deep, dark question you’d kill to have answered, but would never dare to ask in person. The one that’ll not only let you experience your fantasy sex, but blow the mind of your partner.

Value: $49

Five Fast Fixes To Overcome Performance Anxiety—

This one bonus is actually like a cheat sheet for the entire ED Brain Breakthrough program. Fact is, performance anxiety is the single most common cause of erectile dysfunction; these 5 fast fixes literally have the power to stop ED in tracks for so many men. It includes:

The one thing you must say to partner when you experience ED that’ll make everything a lot better

The one way you should never think about sex if you want to be able to get hard

The one thing to avoid in life in order to have better erections more consistently

The one thing you need to do minutes BEFORE sex in order get and stay hard

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[vintagesugg-blog]

lips

an imagine in which good ole suggy boy gets a little jealous

Word Count: 1,750

Rating: PG-13

Getting a hey, you busy? text from Jack Maynard was never a good sign. You responded with a no, and he replied back quickly with a plea for video help and an offer of free lunch.

“Hey babe?” You called out across the flat. 

“Yeah?” Joe called back from his office. 

“Do we have any plans for the day? Jack wants help filming over at his.”

“Not really, no. Does he need you like right now? I’ll be done editing in a few hours and I can go with you.” Joe offered, rolling his chair to the doorframe. He seemed a bit off, but you didn’t push it. Joe always told you if something was wrong in his own time.  

“He seemed pretty urgent, I think he wants to upload tonight. I shouldn’t be long, and I should be home for dinner. I can cook if you want!”

“Nah, I’ll cook tonight and film a gaming video while you’re out. Just text me when you get there safe, yeah?” Joe gave you a smile and came over to give you a goodbye kiss before heading back into his office. 

You called an uber and gathered your things, and you were at Jack’s flat before you knew it. You let yourself in, announcing yourself as you entered.

“Y/N!” Jack grinned, coming over and scooping you up in a hug as soon as you were in the doorway. You hugged him back with a laugh. You’d missed him, and the rest of the boys, since it’d been a while since you’d all gone out together.

The rest of the afternoon consisted of catching up, grabbing a quick nandos and setting up everything for the video.

“So what’re we filming today?”

“I wanna do another tinder message video, but I need someone to go through and react to them. Kinda like what Joe and Zoe did, but you give me advice on how to pick up girls as well. And seeing that you’re one of the few females I know that I haven’t actually met on tinder, I wanted you to do it.”

“Oh hell yes, let’s go,” you grinned, already excited. Jack was probably who you were closest with out of all the other boys, so you were excited to finally get a chance to be nosy.

It didn’t take long for the video to get rolling, and you were loving every second of it. It was as if the camera wasn’t there, and you were just helping your mate out, and embarrassing him at any chance you got. You gave him some legitimate advice, talking about all the good things that Joe did as a boyfriend, and how it made your relationship so fun and easy. Filming went smoothly, and you kept him company whilst he edited. He only had one request before you left. 

“I need a thumbnail, and I was thinking about doing one with a lipstick mark on my cheek. Will you do the honors?” He teased. You rolled your eyes, but dug through your bag until you found a nice red shade. You applied it, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek and being sure to leave a mark. You both posed for the picture, taking a few different options.

“Thanks love. I’ll see you later!” He gave you a hug goodbye and you went on your way. 

The flat smelt of Mexican food when you returned, and Joe’s favorite playlist was playing quietly through the speakers. You rounded the corner to find him cooking away behind the island, chicken sizzling in the pan, plates set out with some rice and tortillas ready.

“Hi. Making tacos?” you smiled, coming over to give him a quick greeting kiss. He returned it, but it was quite short. Usually, he pulled you closer, happy to have you home. This was different.

“Hi. You never texted me,” he said, ignoring your question and turning his attention back to the stovetop. Something was definitely up.

“What?”

“You were supposed to text me when you got to Jack’s, but you never did.”

“Oh shit, I completely forgot. I’m sorry love, I must have gotten distracted,” you frowned, trying to read his expression as he scooped the chicken onto the plates, sliding yours towards you. 

“Distracted,” he scoffed. You caught his arm, a bit peeved at his attitude.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” 

“Nothing’s wrong.” He took his plate and walked around you, sitting down at his normal place in the kitchen, his laptop in front of him. 

“Obviously something is wrong Joe, I’m not stupid. Talk to me,” you said, going to sit beside him. He was quiet again, and he pulled up youtube, scrolling through his sub box. You glanced over, seeing what was new. It wasn’t unusual for the two of you to catch up on videos during dinner. 

Jack’s new video popped up in the corner, the thumbnail of the two of you with the caption “finding love with y/n” across the bottom.

Joe slammed his laptop shut so quickly you jumped, and the force of it sent the water in your glasses wobbling on the counter.

“Joe!” You called, but he was already off, storming towards your all’s room. You jumped up to follow him, catching the door right before it closed. You knew what was about to happen, and you mentally prepared for it. 

Joe always had a bit of a temper, and it was brought on most strongly by jealousy. The pieces fell into place almost simultaneously. You looked at him, watching as he pulled his hair through his fingers and paced back and forth.

“Joe, I know why you’re upset,” you started, your voice low and calm.

“Do you, Y/N?! Do you really? Well please, enlighten me!” He turned to you then, and you knew this was going to be a bad one. 

“Joe…”

“Don’t Joe me, Y/N, you don’t get it. I was excited to have a day in with my girlfriend, and you go running off to my best mate’s house. Then you get there, and you’re so caught up, you don’t even think to text your boyfriend? Then, I see that you filmed that video. How am I supposed to react? Huh?!” He was almost yelling now, but trying to hold back. He knew how much you hated when he yelled, and even at his most angry, he didn’t want to upset you.

“Jack and I are just friends, you know that.” You defended yourself.

“Yeah? And I suppose he’s the one who asked you to leave that kiss on his cheek, right? Jack can be a right git sometimes, and you don’t see it. He fancies you Y/N!” 

“He does not Joseph!”

“Oh really? Last week, at the clubs while we were all out, I got to listen to all my mates talk about how hot you are, and how you’re definitely the most attractive girlfriend any of us have ever had. Jack was the head of that discussion, a bit too comfortable with it if you ask me. Just cause you can’t see it doesn’t mean that it’s not there, Y/N.”

You took a deep breath before turning around and going back to the kitchen, grabbing Joe’s laptop. You brought it back into the room, pulling up Jack’s video.

“Sit,” you said.

“Y/N, making me watc-“ he began to protest.

“I said sit. You can continue being irrational after you watch.”

He rolled his eyes but sat on the side of the bed. You sat beside him, pressing play. A few bloopers played from the beginning of filming, followed by his channel intro. Then, the video began.

“What’s goin on everybody, hello, it’s me, it’s Jack, welcome back to my channel. Now, as you guys can see, I’m joined by a very special guest for today’s video. You all probably know her as Joe Sugg’s girl, Y/N. Now, obviously Joe is one of my best mates, and this girl over here seems to make him very happy, and when we all hang out, those two remind me that I am very very single. So, I figured, what way better to find love, than to take advice from someone who has obviously found it. Which is why today, I’m giving Y/N full reign over my Tinder, and she’s going to give me advice on how to pick up a girl. And I am actually terrified.”

You reached over, pressing pause. Joe was very quiet, and you can tell he recognized his mistake. You let him sit for a moment until he turned to you with apologetic eyes.

“Better?” You asked quietly, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. He sighs, leaning into you. 

“I’m sorry,” he murmured into your skin. You pulled him closer, running your hands through his hair. It wasn’t often that he blew up like he did, but he was always sure to apologize after. It wasn’t like you didn’t do the same sometimes, so you had no qualms in forgiving him.

“It’s alright love, just tell me next time you’re upset instead of playing it off, yeah? And hopefully next time you aren’t worried about me and Jack of all people,” you teased, pulling him in for a kiss. His hands found your hips, holding on tightly. In one swift movement you swung yourself around so that you were sitting on his lap. His arms wrapped around to the small of your back, pressing you to him as tightly as he could.

His head fell to the crook of your neck and you smiled again.

“I really am sorry,” he grumbled, embarrassed by his outburst. 

“And I really do forgive you. Being jealous means you care Joe, it’s not a bad thing. I mean, it makes sense, Jack’s just so attractive, who wouldn’t fall in love with him at first sight?” You winked as Joe scowled at your words. You rolled your eyes and grabbed his chin, pestering his whole face with tiny kisses. He scrunched up his nose as the assault, but you continued before reaching his lips and leaving a lingering kiss there. You pulled back just slightly, and he leaned forward, not ready to let go. You both smiled.

“And I can tell you right now, no one is ever going to get one of those kisses from me other than you. So you can quit your worrying, Sugg. It’ll make you go gray.”

“Then I’m probably the luckiest lad in the world,” he grinned, kissing you one more time before picking you up and carrying you back towards the kitchen, because he worked ‘bloody hard’ on those tacos, and they weren’t about to go to waste.

feedback is always appreciated :’) love you guys!

[liberaleffects]

President Donald Trump’s executive order banning travel from seven predominantly Muslim nations justifiably led to much outcry from activists, politicians and foreign leaders. The list—currently struck down by a federal judge in Seattle—was arbitrary, motivated by disjointed racist panic and was reportedly causing deaths worldwide. But while it’s important to lay primary blame for the ban at the feet of the man who signed it, years of Islamophobic coverage in corporate media—right-wing, centrist and “liberal”—laid the propaganda groundwork to get us here.

Surveys have found support for Trump’s Muslim ban ranging from 42 to 47 percent. This in line with the 43 percent of Americans willing to admit to having at least some prejudice against Muslims. Trump’s order exploits an irrational fear that media have spent at least 15 years conditioning.

Attention has rightly been paid to the Islamophobia industry—a loose consortium of professional far-right trolls such as Pam Geller, Frank Gaffney, Steve Emerson, Breitbart, Infowars, etc. And while these forces certainly were major factor in creating the Trump-friendly Muslim-fearing climate, it’s important not to lose sight of at least three other media phenomena that also had a major role: 1) the presentation of “terrorism” as a unique, existential threat, arbitrarily defined as applying almost exclusively to Muslim violence, 2) New Atheist liberal bigots and 3) disproportionate news coverage of the ISIS spectacle.

‘Terrorism’ as Muslim political violence

As FAIR has shown time and again (5/1/11, 4/15/14, 6/22/15, 6/14/16) over the years, media unjustifiably reserve the word “terrorism”—and the corollary breathless coverage it entails—overwhelmingly for political violence leveled by Muslims. Indeed, this past week provided one of the starkest examples of this asymmetry: White supremacist Alexandre Bissonnette’s January 30 attack on a Quebec mosque was not generally described as “terrorism” by the press, and despite killing six times more people than the October 2014 attack on Ottawa’s Parliament Hill by Muslim Michael Zehaf-Bibeau, it received only one-sixth as much coverage by US media (FAIR.org, 2/4/17).

As the “War on Terror” drags on into its 16th year, liberal and mainstream media have largely accepted the premise that “terrorism” is a separate and urgent manifestation of violence worthy of a global, generational struggle. This elevation to a separate moral order a particular kind of crime—whose definition, in practice, is arbitrarily restricted to perpetrators from a specific religious background—justifies throwing all sense of proportionality out the window. The very concept of a never-ending “global war on terror” laid essential groundwork for our current fever pitch of anti-Muslim sentiment.

‘New Atheist’ Islamophobia

Bill Maher is a fan of Bernie Sanders, a huge Obama booster and a frequent subject of write-ups on liberal websites for his latest dig aimed at Republicans. Maher is also a pro-war ideologue with a long history of bigoted statements about Muslims.

On his popular HBO show Real Time, Maher has repeatedly railed against Muslim immigration into Europe and the United States. He once declared that “civilization begins with civilizing the men; talk to women who’ve ever dated an Arab man. The results are not good.” Maher has repeatedly downplayed the killing of Palestinians in Gaza, even once comparing Hamas to a “crazy woman” whose wrists you could only hold “so long before you have to slap her.”  Some other gems:

“Islam is the only religion that acts like the Mafia that will fucking kill you if you say the wrong thing.”

“The Muslim world has too much in common with ISIS.”

“People who want to gloss over the difference between Western culture and Islamic culture and forget about the fact that the Islamic culture is 600 years younger and that they are going through the equivalent of what the West went through with our Middle Ages, our Dark Ages”

Bill Maher is a so-called “New Atheist”—those who use the pretense of reason and liberal enlightenment to advance otherwise banal conventional wisdom about American and Israeli aggression in the Middle East.

Fair.org

Other New Atheists, such as Sam Harris and Richard Dawkins, routinely provide faux-liberal cover to the most vulgar aspects of anti-Muslim sentiment. Dawkins tweets things like “All the world’s Muslims have fewer Nobel Prizes than Trinity College, Cambridge,” and had a much-mocked weeks-long feud with a 14-year-old Muslim kid over a clock he built for school, often times devolving into embarrassing conspiracy-mongering.

Sam Harris has turned anti-Muslim sophistry into a high art, focusing heavily on the pernicious influence of Muslim immigrants and the dangers they pose. Here’s Harris in 2006:

Islam is the fastest growing religion in Europe. The demographic trends are ominous: Given current birth rates, France could be a majority Muslim country in 25 years, and that is if immigration were to stop tomorrow. Throughout Western Europe, Muslim immigrants show little inclination to acquire the secular and civil values of their host countries, and yet exploit these values to the utmost—demanding tolerance for their backwardness, their misogyny, their antisemitism and the genocidal hatred that is regularly preached in their mosques. Political correctness and fears of racism have rendered many secular Europeans incapable of opposing the terrifying religious commitments of the extremists in their midst.

Harris’ screeds Europe find an echo in the manifesto of Dylann Roof, the white supremacist who murdered nine people in a black church in Charleston, South Carolina, in June 2015:

From this point I researched deeper and found out what was happening in Europe. I saw that the same things were happening in England and France, and in all the other Western European countries. Again I found myself in disbelief. As an American we are taught to accept living in the melting pot, and black and other minorities have just as much right to be here as we do, since we are all immigrants. But Europe is the homeland of white people, and in many ways the situation is even worse there.

That the “demographic” threat is demographically groundless is no surprise; a 2016 Pew Research poll showed that people often wildly overestimate how many of their compatriots are Muslims. In France, for example, respondents said they believed 31 percent of the population was Muslim, when the number is actually 7.5 percent. In the United States, people put the number at 17 percent, when the actual figure is less than 1 percent. This distortion of reality is promoted by the “demographic threat” fear that Harris sows.

Graphic: Guardian (12/13/16)

It’s difficult to measure exactly how much the New Atheists contribute to today’s anti-Muslim trend, but their cable TV shows, public intellectual status, large followings and nominally liberal appeal certainly help normalize what would otherwise be considered rank bigotry. Indeed,  Harris has spent the past week boosting voices defending the underlying logic of Trump’s Muslim ban, while pouting at those calling it “Islamophobic.”

Manufactured ISIS plots and the problem of meta-terror

Americans’ perception of terrorism is, for the most part, not informed by actual terrorist activity, but rather what we call “meta-terror,” or the fear caused by the coverage of terrorism, unconnected from any actual threat. Meta-terror has five manifestations: 1) the media disseminating ISIS threats in the form of video of audio; 2) reports about speculative terror attacks (e.g., LA Times, “A Freeway Terror Attack Is the ‘Nightmare We Worry About,’ Law Enforcers Say,” 12/21/15); 3) media treating “ISIS plots” manufactured by the FBI as actual ISIS plots, despite the fact that no one in ISIS was actually involved; 4) FBI and DHS “terror alerts” that never precede any actual attacks; and 5) the whole-cloth creation of fake ISIS stories.

In all five of these categories, it bears repeating, there is no actual act of terrorism. There is simply the specter of a threat, or a Potemkin plot. Taken together, meta-terror inflates the perception of Islamic terrorism, inflaming anti-Muslim prejudice.

There is no doubt the so-called Islamic State has killed tens of thousands under its brutal rule. In the lead-up to the war in fall 2014, however, this legitimate threat was consistently magnified wildly out of proportion by US media, especially as it related to the group’s direct threat to the US “homeland.”

As FAIR (2/15/15) noted at the time, in the second half of 2014, there was basically no story involving ISIS media wouldn’t publish. Fox News told us ISIS was building training camps in Mexico, ABC News published a scary-as-hell “ISIS caliphate map” that was lifted from a neo-Nazi website, a fake story about ISIS imposing female genital mutilation, an even faker story about a $425 bank robbery in Mosul, a church burning that never took place—none true, but all reported as such by mainstream outlets. Again, while ISIS’s crimes are not in doubt, the rush to exaggerate and fabricate the scope of its horrors inflated the threat to an apocalyptic fervor.

One of the key elements to selling the expansion of the war to Syria in the summer and fall of 2014 also fed greatly into the broader fear of Islamic terrorism—that ISIS’s social media sophistication was recruiting dozens and dozens of Americans. “More than 100 Americans” are fighting for ISIS, Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel told Congress in fall 2014, which media dutifully repeated without question.

“More than 100 young home-grown Muslims, including some from Gotham, are being trained to become an enemy within by Al Qaeda–inspired groups like ISIS,” declared the New York Daily News (6/19/14). “More Than 100 Americans With Syrian Rebels,” a CNN headline (8/27/14) insisted. Americans, we were told again and again, were being seduced to fight in Syria en masse.

But wait. Two days after the US began airstrikes on Syria, this number was quietly reduced by 88 percent by FBI Director James Comey. “Around 12 Americans Are Fighting in Syria, Not 100,” the AP (9/26/14) reported.

The inflated terror threat didn’t stop there. As FAIR has documented repeatedly (4/1/15), FBI-contrived terror plots (ones where the FBI is the primary mover—buying materials, making plans, etc.) are frequently reported by the media simply as “ISIS plots.” For example, when former CIA deputy director Michael Morrell went on CBS This Morning in June 2015, referencing this map as evidence of recently unraveled ISIS plots, he omitted that every single one of these was created with the assistance of the FBI, and none ever posed any actual threat:

Another notable such case was an “ISIS nuclear plot” in 2015 that never actually involved either ISIS or nuclear weapons (FAIR.org, 10/9/15)—but one would hardly know this, reading or watching US media:

As FAIR wrote at the time:

What takes place, before our very eyes, is a kind of War on Terror transubstantiation. Representational terror plots become real ones, fake enemies become Russo-Jihadi crime syndicates, and an American public, once again, is presented with a cartoonish, wildly inflated threat profile that’s increasingly divorced from reality.

Then there’s the images. ISIS trades on violent and extreme images that our corporate media dutifully disseminate. For months and months, the average American was inundated with the most vile and over-the-top ISIS propaganda (FAIR.org, 5/26/15):

It’s no wonder, after years and years of FBI- and media-created “ISIS plots,” the playing of ISIS agitprop on loop, and endless terror warnings that never bear fruit—and a definition of “terror” that includes any Muslim who follows the wrong Twitter feed but excludes white supremacists who want to start a race war—that many Americans’ perception of Muslims would grow negative at a corollary rate. So-called centrist or liberal media cannot spend the better part of the past three years running non-stop Islamo-panic, then turn around and act shocked when Trump exploits the fallout.

It’s important to document the way the right stokes hatred of Muslims. But it’s also essential to note how that hatred seeps into mainstream and liberal circles as well. The rise of Trump did not happen in a vacuum, nor do the intellectual threads that led to many Americans supporting his arbitrary, hate-motivated Muslim ban.

Adam Johnson is a contributing analyst for FAIR.org. You can find him on Twitter at @AdamJohnsonNYC.

[oumakokichi]

What's your thoughts regarding Angie?

A really good question! I haven’t talked about Angieat all yet, and I probably should as she’s a fantastic conflict-bringer forChapter 3, and generally really fun all around.

As the “cutesy character” whose design I saw probablythe most hype for before ndrv3 was officially released, I thought that shewould probably go either one of two ways, as DR has a trend of making itscutest characters design-wise either very happy and bouncy and well-meaning, orextremely horrible with the sweetest smiles on their faces. It was hard totell, basically, whether she would be an Aoi or a Ruruka. But in the end, Ifelt she was an entertaining in-between who didn’t really fit on either side ofthe scale.

Angie seemed as if she would be all cute and nocreepy for perhaps most of the first parts of Chapter 1. She had perhaps one ortwo scary sprites and leering questions during the trial then, but it was soovershadowed by Ouma being Ouma and terrifying the wits out of everyone that itwasn’t really something I paid much mind to at the time. Then came Chapter 2,with Himiko and her magic show, and it was pretty obvious they wanted you asthe player to assume that the “obvious culprit” was probably Angie, and thatshe was trying to set Himiko up.

But it turns out that at that point, Angie wasliterally just in full-on self-preservation mode, and like many others in theDR cast, she would literally not hesitate to throw anyone threatening to dragher down under the bus if need be. Her complete 180 on Himiko and telling herthat it wasn’t really that she washanging her out to dry, it was just that godwas telling her she should accuse her, was such an asshole move and so painfulto watch, moreso because Himiko really is not the type to make friends easilyand she had genuinely believed and found comfort in all of Angie’s talk aboutreligion.

But it also is not something I can entirely condemnAngie for because it’s 100% true that there are many, many characters in the DRfranchise who have self-preservation as their primary motivation, and knowingthat you’re all going to be executed if you vote for the wrong culprit meansthat a lot of people are going to put their better sides and belief infriendship on the back burner if it means saving their own skin. With the firstpart of the trial making it seem as if the culprit couldn’t possibly have beenanyone other than Himiko, Angie still pulled a jerk move to jump to conclusionsso quickly, but it’s sort of a reaction I think most people would have in hersituation.

And then of course, we come to Chapter 3, and Angiedecides to take the gradual conflict that’s been simmering below the surface inthe group (and that characters like Kaede desperately wanted to avoid at allcosts) and decides to ramp it all the way up. She’s truly in her element inthis chapter, providing both a genuine source of comfort to half the charactersremaining, but at the expense of free will for all the characters in the group,regardless of whether they actually join her religious student council or not.

Having been mostly a follower of whatever othercharacters were thinking or doing up until this point, she seems to get prettycarried away with herself and in making decisions for the group as a wholewithout consulting anyone. And the best part about it is that she really,honestly believes in her religion with all her heart. I don’t think anyonecould argue that Angie wasn’t a pretty legitimate religious fanatic in thegame, even if she also knew when to cut and run and use “god” as an excuse tospout her more negative or creepy opinions.

While most DR characters who seek to come out aliveat all costs tend to resort to do-or-die, desperate attempts at murder thatinevitably end with them getting killed as either a victim or a culprit, Angiewas extremely interesting as a subversion of that. Unlike Celes, who suggestedthat everyone simply stay in their rooms at nighttime and live out their livespeacefully without ever trying to leave the school, when Angie suggests it, shereally, truly means it from the bottom of her heart. Her religious studentcouncil was a forceful attempt at making everyone live under the same rules andin the same school regardless of whether they wanted to or not, disguised underthe guise of peaceful religious group centered around one’s individual comfortneeds. And that’s just really, reallyinteresting, because I don’t think we’ve ever seen a point of conflict quitelike it in any DR game.

It’s also incredibly interesting that ndrv3 decidedto utilize Angie’s SHSL Artist talent less about actual, physical artwork(aside from the fantastic and terrifying statues, of course), and put it on amuch more meta level just like much of the rest of the game. As an artist,Angie’s greatest work is not any physical masterpiece she paints or sculptsin-game, but rather her ability to paint each person any image of god andreligion that they desire. She reads people and caters to their needs, butalmost always in a way in which she’s sure they’re going to cater back to her.It’s one of the reasons why she and Tenko, who is genuinely just aself-sacrificing person all around and doesn’t think of her own needs much,came into so much conflict.

I don’t even think Angie necessarily secretly hatedthose in her cult who were obviously swept in, like Himiko or Gonta, or thatshe didn’t like them and enjoy being friendly with them. Clearly her bubblypersonality and ability to tell what each person’s likes and dislikes weremeant that she was pretty easily able to converse with all of them, and atleast part of the reason for her religious cult was probably because it was acomfort to herself as well, in addition to being a bit of a power trip.

All that said, I really don’t think her plan would’veworked in the end though. Even if Korekiyo hadn’t killed her, I can’t imagine areality show about a killing game turning into a reality show where high schoolkids live their lives out in a religious cult and talk about god would’ve beenvery good for the ratings, and Tsumugi would never have let her get away withit. If anything, she was probably posing as a member of Angie’s cult to makesure that particular development never happened, and wouldn’t have been abovekilling her to continue the game and framing someone yet again (it’s aninteresting question, to think who Tsumugi might have framed had she done it asecond time).

Basically, Angie can be selfish and creepy, but it’salso very easy to see why she was incredibly popular with many of the othercharacters. And in a game centered around lies and deception, I found it funthat the religious fanatic was actually not lying about their belief in god andthat her convictions on that front were very strong.

[itsthefishdoctor-blog]

The United States of Delusion

I don’t even know what to say today y'all.

There has been just a massive amount of mind-boggling nonsense inundating us for the past week that I can’t feel anything other than overwhelmed. I’m overwhelmed by the outrageous comments the president has made. I’m overwhelmed by the bold-faced LIES that he has spewed; overwhelmed by the hypocrisy of every single thing he has done and said.

I knew this was coming. I knew it when I cast my ballot for a woman I didn’t think was the best choice but wasn’t an absolute psychopath. I knew it when y'all told us to give him a chance because even though he hadn’t taken office, his hateful rhetoric had already changed the tone of our nation. To be honest, I’ve know it every single time the carrot has opened his mouth. I knew this was coming and I am STILL blown away.

And of course, I’m blown away by this clown. His presidency literally exceeds my comprehension. But what blows me away even more than his bullshit, is the lack of outrage from those of you who voted for him.

Y'all. This. Dude. Lied. To. You.

Not that this a new thing for him. He lied multiple times on the campaign trail (“lock her up” is still ringing particularly loud) and has continued to lie since he was elected. It literally is the most unreal sort of lying I’ve ever seen. It’s bold-faced and its over INSANE things. Like, who actually lies about doing/saying something they are well documented to have done/said? Seriously? WHO DOES THAT?

We’ve had politicians who lie before. That is not at all new, in fact its basically a requirement. But every single time we’ve caught them in a lie, they have to make a big public apology (which you wont accept) and then we hold it against them and call them a liar for the rest of their career. Example: Bill Clinton was not impeached because he had an affair. Bill Clinton was impeached because he LIED about having the affair. Which in comparison to the lies our new fearless leader is spewing, seem like child’s play. I won’t even begin to discuss the ridiculousness of that entire process (especially Trump’s use of it to undermine Bill’s wife and her run for president) but the hypocrisy is, once-again, mind blowing.

SO ANYWAYS.

I’ve posted a nice article on my facebook page choked full of the lies Donald Trump has spewed in the past week vs. the facts that actually happened here in the real world. Seriously, this blows my mind that these are things being debated. Read it or don’t, but I promise there is actual evidence that contradicts the crap the president has tried to make into facts. But that, again isn’t really the point of all this.

What we need to talk about right now, is the state of my country.

Because I am not entirely sure what is happening or who’s country this is anymore. If I’ve seen anything in the past week, it’s that Donald Trump is very well set on making this HIS country and he doesn’t give a flying fuck what he has to do or who he has to throw under the bus to get there.

And I don’t know why there are so many of my fellow citizens who voted for him who are not scared or downright pissed about this. Because y'all are the ones who trusted him. You chose to put your faith in a man and in the span of a week he has completely overhauled your country. I don’t know if you just don’t understand what all these executive orders mean (to be fair, there have been an exorbitant amount) or just don’t care because somehow they don’t apply to you. Because I’ve defended y'all. I have allowed you to justify your vote for other things but I’m done now. Because I’m not entirely sure there’s anything that man can say or do to make some of you even question him, let alone denounce his actions.

When you have a man in charge of the greatest free nation in the world telling the press what they can and cannot report, you are no longer a part of a free nation. When you have a president silencing SCIENTISTS and evidence-based facts, you no longer live in a safe nation. When you have a president using religion to decide who can and cannot enter our country, you no longer live in America (a nation literally founded by men running away from the nationalized Church of England).

The point is we have entered some sort of insane alternate universe where we call lies alternate facts. A world where we ignore hypocrisy unless its directed against our opponent. A place where we look the other way when something unjust happens that doesn’t apply to us. A nation that doesn’t make any damn sense and pretty much defies every single principle it was founded on.

So I’m gonna talk about hypocrisy for a second because its about damn time we start holding each other accountable.

You DO NOT get to criticize pro-life women at your women’s march. You DO NOT get to yell at people afraid to let in refugees when it took you five years to pay attention to the crisis in Syria. You DO NOT get to remain silent when a SNL writer says horrible things about Baron Trump because of who his father is. You DO NOT get to say Trump is not a “legitimate president”. You DO NOT get to remain silent when protesters destroy property or attack police. You DO NOT get to support the women’s march but stay silent to the Black Lives Matter movement. You DO NOT get to freak out about Republicans racism and make fun of Melania’s broken English. You DO NOT get to criticize the people who felt like they had no choice to vote for Trump when your party nominated a lackluster candidate through some pretty sketchy tactics. You DO NOT get to act like the ACA is affordable for most people or the best option for healthcare for our nation. You DO NOT get to remain silent when Madonna threatens to blow up the white house. You DO NOT get to act like illegal immigrants didn’t break the law.

You DO NOT get to preach to me about how you voted for Trump because he was financially conservative and then not lose your damn mind when he essentially forces you to pay for an utterly useless wall. You DO NOT get to tell me healthcare is too expensive to be a universal right but a billion dollar wall isn’t. You DO NOT get to talk to me about the Democrats ridiculous spending when the GOP wasted $7 million to investigate Hilary in Benghazi TWICE and who knows how much investigating Trump’s newest bullshit voter fraud claim. You DO NOT get to tell me you are pro-life and refuse to allow Syrian refugees into our country. You DO NOT get to say “what would Jesus do” to defend fetuses but not actual, fully formed humans. You DO NOT get to tell me radical Muslims pose more of a threat domestically than mentally ill white guys like Dylan Roof or Adam Lanza. You DO NOT get to get your panties in a wad about how we’ve become a “politically correct” country where you can’t say what you want and not BE UTTERLY TERRIFIED that the president has essentially put a gag order on the EPA, NASA, the National Park Service, etc. You DO NOT get to chant “drain the swamp” at your terrifying rallies and then remain silent when Trump builds a cabinet overflowing with the most under-qualified and swampiest, swamp monsters. You DO NOT get to demand to see President Obama’s birth certificate but not Trump’s tax returns. You DO NOT get to criticize peaceful protests against Trump’s low-class behavior when y'all protested Obama’s election because of his skin color. And you DEFINITELY DO NOT get to say celebrities need to stay out of politics when you fools elected one.

Y'all are afraid of ISIS and don’t understand how banning immigrants from ISIS’ stomping grounds feeds directly into their recruiters hands. How banning people from Muslim predominate countries (but not the most Muslim predominate countries and not the countries who have a history of attacking us) shows all the people who ISIS recruit just how horrible the Americans are. Y'all THREW THE BIGGEST FREAKING FIT EVER about Hilary’s freaking email server (even though most of us don’t even know what the heck a private email server is) and then are silent when Donald Trump’s administration has done the EXACT SAME THING. Y'all were up in arms about the Clinton Foundations international connections but look the other way when your president makes a bullshit executive order to ban Muslims only from countries he is convenient enough not to have financial ties to (and then believe the nonsense that Obama did the same thing in 2011: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/fact-checker/wp/2017/01/29/trumps-facile-claim-that-his-refugee-policy-is-similar-to-obama-in-2011/?utm_term=.328b3f2a974d). You DO NOT get to highlight a portion of that executive order and claim our president refuses to support countries that oppress the LGBTQ community when he openly supports Putin.

Here’s the thing y'all. We need to figure out just what it is we stand for. Because I really don’t think anyone has any clue anymore. We’ve warped our views and beliefs to fit into certain political parties who have their own conflicting views. Republicans are conservative unless its something they want (like a wall). They want the government to stay out of their wallets but are okay with it in women’s reproductive organs. Democrats want everyone to be respected and then call every single Trump supporter a bigot/racist/oppressor. They want the government to stay out of their reproductive organs but provide them free birth control. These labels are only further examples of the division that has broken our country. We are so divided over words that don’t even represent well-organized ideas.

We’ve got to stop y'all. We have to come back to the ideas we were founded on. We weren’t meant to have a national religion. We weren’t meant to have just two political parties; as if that could possibly represent every single American adequately. We weren’t meant to deny immigrants when the founders themselves were immigrants.

But more than that, we need to be good humans. We need to help those who’s homelands have been destroyed because we refused to get involved until it was too late. We need to speak up about injustice in the world and demand action. We need to be kind and fair and generous and compassionate. We need to acknowledge when those we disagree with do the right thing. We need to call out the people we support when they do the wrong thing. We need to respect our fellow humans no matter who they are because, duh. Seriously, duh.

I say all of that knowing full well that even if all of that happens, we may not be any better off. I know that change is a hard thing for people to do and that a few people have a very difficult time changing the world. I know that President Trump will continue to do whatever he wants to do regardless of who it upsets. I know that most of us are too proud to admit, our “opponent” has some valid points.

But I have to say something and I have to try something. Because I feel SO FREAKING HOPELESS. Even though I have watched amazing things unfold in the past week to counter this monster of a president, I feel defeated.

I don’t know what is going to happen next and I’m truly terrified to find out. I can’t even begin to imagine how those of you are who aren’t a privileged white woman are feeling. I’m sorry for you. I really, really am. I want you to know that I’ve got your back and I will fight for you with every fiber of my being because I am grateful for your existence. And you matter. We, the people are the best part of this country and we are what makes America great. I will defend your right to be treated with respect and dignity no matter what. And I can only hope that enough people will do the same. I hope enough people can be as bold as Judge Ann Donnelly or the 3 million women who marched or John McCain who opposed Trump’s latest executive order.

I guess really all I can do right now is continue to hope. I hope we continue to stand up for each other even if its for people who are totally different than us or people we will never meet. I hope that we can all figure out what really matters is the type of people we are and the values we hold and act on. I hope we can be the type of people who inspire others to overcome hate and can bring the generation behind us into a better, more respectful world.

I know this is all very Mean Girls-esque but I sincerely wish I had a big ass plastic crown to break apart and throw at everyone. Because really, y'all are beautiful and if Cady Heron can figure out how to apologize for being a bitch and try to make amends for it in a two hour film, I think our country can probably get through the next four years without pushing anyone in front of a bus.

(That’s a crappy Mean Girls reference; please don’t push people in front of busses)

-Be kind to one another-

also a friendly reminder this blog is for me and possible future nuggets who I want to remember that their mom was definitely not cool with all this bullshit they’ll have to learn in history class. And also for anyone who feels as shitty as I do and needs some love ✌️️