#terrible character development thus far

[joequiinn]

The Dos & Don'ts of Fake Dating | E.M. x reader | pt. 13

[chap twelve] | [all chapters here] | [chap fourteen]

Story Summary: You propose a crazy idea to the resident freak of Hawkins, Eddie Munson. But maybe he was even crazier for agreeing to it…

notes & tropes: fem reader, slooow burn, faking dating, opposites attract, bratty rich bitch reader, super minor revenge plot, dysfunctional family dynamics, idiots-to-lovers

a/n: We've got another chapter here that I absolutely love! Now that ice princess realizes what she's feeling, the shenanigans are that much more amusing~

wc: 7.2k

Chapter Thirteen

Come Monday morning, you were still struggling to grasp all the shit that had transpired over the weekend, the short two days of it feeling more like a lifetime. What should have just been a fun party led to a chaotic fight with your family, and that chaotic fight led you to realize that you had a god damn crush on Eddie that you had been trying to ignore for the past twelve fucking hours. And to top it all off, you still couldn’t remember most of Saturday night, leaving you with the sensation of lost time, with the vague feeling that you were forgetting something vital but not knowing what that could possibly be.

When you finally recognized what exactly you were feeling for Eddie - what you probably had been feeling the past week or so, despite your own obliviousness - you didn’t know what the hell to do with those feelings. You tried your best to play it cool as you and Eddie ate food and watched movies and shared his bed Sunday night, but you were certain he could see your hesitation, could feel your trepidation. It felt like a damn sitcom once you started thinking about it - you had to pretend you didn’t have a crush on the boy you were pretending to date. How much more ridiculous could it get?

You’d already decided there wasn’t a chance in hell you would tell Eddie about this. For starters, you weren’t sure if this was a real crush or if all the fake dating was getting to your head; you would be the person to start confusing fake feelings with real ones amidst all the shit you and Eddie had been through thus far.

And if that weren’t the case, you could simply be feeling this was because Eddie was nice to you - you’d never really felt this attracted to someone before, simply dating because it’s what was expected of you, so it could very well be due to Eddie’s kind nature. Niceties didn’t exactly come easy to you, your old friends, or any of your exes, so you couldn’t let yourself go and develop feelings for the first boy that was simply kind to you. You figured that’s just how he was, how he treated all his friends.

On top of that, you didn’t want to deal with the embarrassment of telling Eddie about this only for him to reject you. The two of you were such opposites, so very different, that it seemed unfathomable for Eddie to reciprocate your feelings - what interest would he have in you, a girl who was rude and impatient and bossy as all hell?

Sure, you’d caught him looking at your legs or your chest a couple of times, but considering that that’s how all boys have looked at you since puberty, you couldn’t take those moments into account - physical attractiveness was surely something Eddie wasn’t too concerned about, if his character was anything to go on.

And, shit, Eddie was so unlike anyone you’d previously been into, it almost felt crazy to even entertain the idea of liking him. This was nerdy, goofy, metalhead Eddie, the kid who was a terrible student, who dealt drugs, who spent hours playing silly board games that you couldn’t even begin to understand - how did all of that possibly come together to create a package that caught your attention? You hated to be shallow about it, but on paper this maybe-crush on Eddie shouldn’t have happened and couldn’t ever work.

So, no, you wouldn’t let him know about this ridiculous little crush of yours, because it would simply pass in time. You’d move on from it sooner or later, meaning there was no need to draw attention to it now. Give it a couple of weeks, and this whole silly thing would be forgotten - that was your mantra when you woke up far, far too early on Monday morning.

Why you were up before the fucking sun was beyond you - one minute, you were asleep like the dead, and then the next you were wide awake. You figured it must’ve been because you and Eddie spent the majority of Sunday sleeping, and now your body clock was completely out of whack. You begrudgingly sat up in bed - realizing with a blush that you and Eddie were practically on top of each other once again - and glanced over at the alarm clock. You groaned when you saw that it was just after five o’clock.

You rose to your feet and shuffled around the bed, remembering that you saw a pack of cigarettes somewhere on the nightstand. You felt around blindly until you had the box and a lighter in hand, tiptoeing to the door with a silent prayer that it wouldn’t creak and wake Eddie. As you closed it gently behind you, a deep exhale escaped you before you opened the door that led to the rickety little balcony attached to the house.

Of course, you weren’t expecting to see Wayne there with a cigarette of his own, his presence causing you to gasp and nearly jump. You seemed to have startled him a little as well, but he was much more calm in showing his surprise. For a couple awkward moments, you lingered in the open door, unsure of whether or not to give Eddie’s uncle space; but he nonchalantly waved his hand, a simple indicator to join him.

“He’s not up, is he?” Wayne asked, his voice gruff but kind. You shook your head, leaning on the arm of the worn-out couch while popping a cigarette between your lips, flicking the lighter until you could feel the nicotine in your mouth, “Nasty habit.”

Wayne’s eyes twinkled at his joke, the humor only emphasized by the deep drag he took from his cigarette. You couldn’t help but smile, amused by the fact that he could say that with a perfectly straight face - it was immediately obvious that he and Eddie were related.

You wrapped your arms around yourself while slowly blowing smoke between your lips - despite your sweater, you probably could have used at least one more layer to keep warm. October was always an unpredictable month for the weather in Hawkins - one day the sun would shine bright, the next you’d be freezing your ass off. Your eyes drifted across the quiet trailer park for a few beats before you looked at Wayne again.

“Not a habit I expected to pick up.” You answered conversationally, hoping he didn’t feel as awkward as you did - you weren’t really sure how to talk to the man who raised your fake boyfriend that you totally weren’t crushing on. Wayne hummed in response, allowing you to study him as he also looked around at the neighbor’s homes absentmindedly.

“Should we formally introduce ourselves, or would you prefer to stay strangers?” Again, you smiled at Wayne’s distinct personality, rough around the edges but so clearly kind at his core. Again, it reminded you of Eddie. His sense of humor was odd, but not off-putting to you - maybe that stemmed from your own habit of speaking plainly and from an emotional distance.

So, you gave Wayne your name and he returned the favor, nodding simply while dropping his cigarette butt in the nearby ashtray. He looked up at you with an expression that you’d seen on Eddie’s face before, which was nearly startling - his eyes were studious, as if he were trying to make sense of you, a stare that you were becoming all too familiar with. You could feel your neck warm a little as you waited for him to say something.

“Relax, kid,” He pointed lazily to the couch, which you still chose to lean against rather than sit on. So, you slowly settled yourself onto the cushion, trying to ignore the worn spring that poked at your back. Again, Wayne studied you for a moment longer, making you a little nervous under his stare, “You seem good for Ed.”

The simple statement took you aback, your brows going up in response, which must have amused Wayne if his faint smirk was anything to go on. You looked down while taking another deep drag, shaking your head a little, though not necessarily in disagreement. Really, you didn’t know why you shook your head. Maybe because you knew you and Eddie were bullshitting everyone, and getting a compliment of that sort from Wayne felt wrong; it made you all too aware of your deception.

He shrugged simply, looking back out at the horizon and the vague streams of sunlight that were just beginning to come up, “Suit yourself.”

“You’re probably the only person who sees it,” You responded smally, taking one last inhale from your cigarette. As if on cue, Wayne held the ashtray in your direction, and you put the cigarette out with a thankful look. It’s not as if you wanted to complain to Wayne, but the words just seemed to roll out of you with ease, “I knew people wouldn’t like me and Eddie dating, but I guess I never thought about just how terrible they’d all be… Or maybe it’s me, fuck if I know.”

You were tempted to grab another cigarette just so you could have something to do with your hands, but you settled for fidgeting with the lighter instead. Wayne turned his eyes back towards you for a brief moment, but the both of you continued to stare anywhere but at each other. It felt so damn odd to be here, sitting in silence with Eddie’s uncle with such ease - it should’ve been more awkward, you should’ve been more standoffish. But maybe after yesterday, your energy was too low to be worried about that sort of thing.

“So long as you’re not causing too much trouble, there’s no harm.” He answered simply, slouching a little in his fold out chair, crossing his arms over his chest comfortably, “You two’ll be just fine.”

“You’re sure about that?” You couldn’t help but counter, although not argumentatively; no, you asked it because you simply didn’t believe it.

Wayne shrugged again, meeting your eyes, “That’s up to you, isn’t it?”

You couldn’t argue with that, so you simply made a noncommittal face of agreement, biting the inside of your cheek as you watched more sun rays slowly shine in the sky. The two of you sat in a comfortable, companionable silence for a few minutes, although your mind was going a hundred miles an hour - you couldn’t help but find it odd how easy it was to exist in the same space as Wayne, a man that you literally just spoke to for the first time.

You were bombarded by thoughts of your own family and how damn different this was. Most days, it was impossible to even be in the same room as your father, whose domineering energy was oftentimes unbearable and irritating. Meanwhile the man who raised Eddie put you immediately at ease, had a relaxed energy that invited you to him. For a moment, you felt a flare of anger that you never got to have someone kind like this in your life, that your “idealistic family” was the exact opposite of such.

Wayne eventually rose to his feet, grunting a little as he looked down at you, “I got a long day ahead.”

You nodded, deciding to head back inside too; you’d been willing to fight the morning cold for the sake of sitting with Wayne, but if he was heading back inside you sure as hell weren’t going to stay out here. He held the door open for you, and you nodded in thanks while ducking back into the house, trying to make yourself small against the bedroom door so that you didn’t take up the cramped hallway space. As Wayne shut the door behind him, he gave you a kind little smile.

“Make sure he’s up at a decent time,” he pointed at Eddie’s closed door, “he can’t be missing any more school if he wants to graduate.”

You gave a short nod before opening the bedroom behind you, slipping inside as Wayne turned towards the restroom. Your eyes had to adjust to the darkness of the room, your feet sliding quietly across the floor to avoid tripping over anything and making more noise than necessary.

“Were you talking to Wayne?” Eddie’s voice startled you from the dark, a surprised sound escaping you as you shot a look in his direction. Your ears warmed as your heart beat just a little faster, something that made you immediately want to kick yourself - you don’t like Eddie, you reminded yourself on repeat.

Your eyes had adjusted enough that you could see the outline of Eddie’s silhouette propped up on one elbow in bed. Your voice was quiet with your response, “Yeah.”

Eddie hummed, much in that same way that you heard Wayne do earlier, which caused you to smile to yourself. You glanced at the alarm clock near him as you stood near the bed.

“He said you can’t miss school, so you should probably take me home.” Even without being able to see Eddie’s face, it’s as if you could feel the concern settling in there. Going out on a limb, you added, “Don’t give me that look.”

“You can’t even see my face!” Eddie’s ruffled voice was laced with humor.

“I don’t need to see it to know you’re pitying me.” You laughed a little, but were surprised by Eddie’s hand grabbing your forearm; you hadn’t realized you were close enough for him to touch you, and it sent a jolt through your body.

“I’m not,” You knew he was leveling you with a serious stare, “Just… worried, considering yesterday.”

Your brows turned down, “The longer I avoid them, the worse it’ll get; I wanna piss them off, but not so bad that they start plotting my murder.”

“Why not just wait? We’ll go to school, then you can deal with them later.” Eddie’s grip on your arm tightened for a brief moment before he released you.

You laughed smally, “Well, considering my outfit choices are either ‘teenage boy’s dirty pajamas’ or ‘Saturday night hooker,’ I’d rather go home and change first.”

Eddie scoffed but nonetheless laughed with you; you thought you heard him grumble “Saturday night hooker” to himself, but you couldn’t be sure, as at the same moment he kicked off the bedsheets and stumbled over to open the curtains. You both cringed a little, the sun now high enough in the sky for its light to come through the window. You watched as Eddie yawned and stretched, first twisting his back before raising his arms above his head. Seeing a sliver of skin at his waist, you quickly diverted your gaze, not wanting to be caught staring as your ears grew hot. In a measly effort to distract yourself, you began to collect what few belongings you had lying around the room.

“If it makes you feel better, my dad’ll already be gone by the time we get there,” You started, glancing back towards Eddie, your eyes briefly looking him up and down, “And you can come in with me - that’ll keep my mom from acting hysterical.”

A slight laugh escaped him, “You sure I won’t cause the hysterics?”

You shrugged as you two turned back towards one another, “I guess we’ll see.”

Eddie looked to be in consideration of something for a beat before accepting your response, “Right. Gimme ten minutes.”

The trek to your house was passed in relative ease - with how much he chauffeured you around these days, you figured you probably owed Eddie quite a lot of gas money.

At the house, you two didn’t even cross paths with your mother, who was cooped up in the master suite the entire time - she probably didn’t even know you and Eddie were there, too busy fussing with her extensive morning routine. You tried to freshen up as quickly as possible, fussing with your hair, reapplying makeup, choosing a new outfit. 

All the while, Eddie studied your room, looking to be in total disbelief at how much space you had - your room was double the size of his, you had a walk-in closet, and your own en suite bathroom. You were beginning to feel self-conscious, guilty at how much excessive space you had compared to what little he had in his own home.

When you finally exited the bathroom, you found Eddie studying your VHS collection that lined nearly an entire bookshelf. You wondered if he was impressed by the assortment or if he was resentful of how much you had. Aside from the shelf of movies, little of your personality was truly conveyed in your bedroom - your mother was too fussy about the house to allow you to completely make the space your own. Yes, you had your trophies and medals on display, you had framed photos from your childhood placed sparingly about, you had pretty pastel throw pillows and decor, but otherwise the room was nearly clinical in appearance. Again, you felt sheepish about what Eddie’s impression of it might be.

You led Eddie back out of the house just as quickly as you’d led him in, unwilling to hang around longer than necessary. And, much to your surprise, you two actually made it to school with just a few minutes to spare. You nearly, impulsive leaned in to hug Eddie goodbye, but caught yourself mid-movement, awkwardly spinning around to rush off towards your first period class. You hoped he didn’t clock what you nearly did, and you also hoped the embarrassment didn’t alight your face once you caught yourself and ran off. You did not like Eddie, you reminded yourself yet again.

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As the lunch bell rang out, you quickly scooped your belongings off the lab table you shared with a fellow student, retreating from the classroom without stealing a glance back. All throughout fourth period, you caught Duncan shooting loathsome looks your way, and considering how your weekend had gone, you really weren’t in the mood to deal with him.

You figured he had one of two reasons to be pissy with you: the most likely reason was, of course, the fact that someone slashed his tires homecoming night. That someone was you, but you sure as hell weren’t about to confirm that for him.

The second, and less likely, reason was that you and Eddie actually won homecoming king and queen; apparently, everyone in this school had a shitty enough sense of humor to latch onto that miserable joke.

You found out during second period as you mindlessly streaked watercolors across paper, letting the paint bleed and puddle together. At the work station closest to you was Chrissy, who seemed to be just as mindlessly focusing on whatever she was doing; she was interrupted by a fellow cheerleader, who was being far from subtle when she asked “so, Chrissy, what do you think of the little ice princess over there beating you out for the crown?”

It was clear that the girl was trying to start something, so you simply shot her the coldest glare you could muster; you unintentionally caught Chrissy’s eyes a moment later, and to your surprise she appeared somewhat apologetic. As the second cheerleader walked away, you “accidentally” knocked over your cup of filthy paint water, trying not to relish in the way the girl squealed as it splashed down the length of her leg. You thought you may have seen Chrissy smirk, but perhaps that was just wishful thinking.

So, knowing that Duncan surely wanted to confront you about something, you hightailed it out of class, doing your best to try and avoid him. You’d had enough confrontation the past weekend to last you at least the next month.

Of course, your running off didn’t dissuade Duncan in the slightest; he caught up to you quickly and roughly grabbed your shoulder, trying to spin you around. Without a second thought, you aggressively smacked his hand, causing him to exclaim with pain while pulling back.

“Don’t fucking touch me.” You bite, turning your fiery glare onto Duncan, crossing your arms and jutting your hip with all the attitude you could muster. From the look on his face, you knew he was too worked up for something as simple as homecoming - this was most definitely about his car.

A mean scoff sounded in his throat, his tone accusatory as packs of students parted around you two in the migration to the cafeteria, “Were you the one that messed with my car?”

You gave Duncan an innocent look of confusion, although you weren’t overly concerned with it being all that convincing - if your eyes glittered with amusement, then so be it.

“What are you talking about?” You had to fight back the beguiled grin that dared to cross your lips - that would’ve been as good as admitting you were guilty, and you weren’t about to do that. No, you’d just mock him with your eyes, taunt him with your words.

Duncan gave you a mean, challenging glare, eyes narrowing as he took a step towards you. Squaring your shoulders, you refused to move an inch, planting yourself firmly - this boy didn’t scare you in the slightest, no matter how hard he tried, “You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

“No, I really don’t.” Your response was clipped as the both of you glared daggers, neither of you willing to back down to the other.

“So, your dumb boyfriend, then?” Duncan grinned cruelly, as if Eddie was just a joke to him; your jaw clenched harder, your heart skipping as the need to defend him arose. You took a moment to collect yourself, however, knowing that you couldn’t fly off the handle and accidentally say something you’d regret.

“I don’t know what you think Eddie did, but leave him the hell alone.” Your tone was low and serious as you took a couple slow, taunting steps back, preparing to end this face off before it could continue.

In the next moment, though, Amelia and a couple of Duncan’s friends appeared nearby, clearly en route to meet him; a part of you wondered if they knew he planned on confronting you like this. Seeing the intent in their faces, you rolled your mean eyes, turning to walk away because you just knew this shit was about to get worse.

“Hey, homecoming queen, where you running off to?” Amelia’s sing-song taunting grated at you, and you shot a vicious glare back over your shoulder.

“Anywhere but here, runner-up.” You gave her an impudent smile as you continued to walk away. But you could hear them following just a step behind you, which is exactly what you had expected of them; you used to be one of these kids, after all, so you knew all of their tricks.

“It’s rude to leave in the middle of a conversation.” Amelia’s voice trailed behind you as an annoyed sigh left your mouth. You continued forward, hoping that your posture appeared completely unbothered, even as the look on your face showed otherwise. The group continued to talk to your back, and you fought hard to keep your mouth wired shut, refusing to respond to their incessant taunting.

You rounded a corner as they determinedly followed after you, and when you nearly walked right into Eddie, a sense of relief washed over you; he must have been on his way to meet you, considering this direction was opposite of the cafeteria. He looked startled and then amused to bump into you, until the group of assholes rounded the corner as well, causing his expression to quickly falter. The two of you shared a tired, fed up look - yesterday was one problem, today was another, and it left you wondering if these annoyances would only continue.

“Would you look at that - just the guy I wanted to talk to.” Duncan greeted with cruel, false friendliness. Without ever having come to a full stop, you grabbed Eddie’s hand and yanked him along with you, forcing him to stumble over his feet before meeting your pace as you continued retreating from this bullshit confrontation, “Oh, come on, wait; I just wanna talk.”

“Piss off, he didn't do shit.” You responded harshly, staring ahead with a wicked glare, although you knew walking away wouldn’t stop them from taunting you. You've seen enough of these antagonistic conversations before to know exactly what to expect - they’d find a way to corner you, mock and belittle you, and then once they were satisfied with your misery, they’d laugh and leave as if nothing happened. You loathed to think that you were once friends with these people, that you were once as nasty as them, and so you were determined to not let this crap happen to you and Eddie.

“The hell are you running for?” Amelia continued with a hint of aggression in her tone. Her hand fell roughly onto your shoulder, manicured nails digging into your skin, “What, are you feeling guilty about something?”

Just like with Duncan, you swatted Amelia’s hand but refused to stop for her, your angered glare deepening as you resisted the temptation to look back at her. You couldn’t give her that satisfaction. But, as you expected, Amelia didn’t like being brushed off, so in retaliation she gave Eddie’s back an unexpected shove, causing you both to stumble a little.

And that was the exact switch that she needed to flip, because without a second thought you whipped around to confront her, tugging your hand out of Eddie’s so you could jab a finger at Amelia. As your energy boiled red hot, you could see her torn between satisfaction and fear.

“Don’t fucking start with me.” You threatened as she matched your glare with her own. All the boys stood back, creating a pseudo-fighting ring around you and Amelia as you both waited for the other’s next move.

“Or what?” She taunted as you arched your brow challengingly; your jaw was clenched so tight that your teeth nearly hurt. When you didn’t grace her with a response, Amelia rolled her eyes in an exaggerated fashion, “Geez, you’re so tempermental these days, it's ridiculous.”

“What’s ridiculous is the fact that you won’t just leave us alone.” You looked around the group harshly, your glower darkening on Duncan before you returned your cruel gaze to Amelia, “I’m not gonna take your shit, so stop trying to intimidate me.”

Again, she rolled her eyes, this time with a condescending smirk, “I don’t need to intimidate you; it’s more fun to get a rise out of you, anyway.” When your face tightened with annoyance, she added with satisfaction, “See? Even that got to you, you make it so easy.”

You resisted the urge to insult her or smack her, resisted the temptation to spew terrible things in her face - you couldn’t take anymore fighting right now, and you couldn’t give her any of the satisfaction that would come with your retaliating. So, you took a couple steady breaths through your nose, your eyes flaring with intensity before you calmed down.

“Whatever.” You huffed, rolling your eyes as you turned back towards Eddie, ready to lead him away from this group of bullies.

“Do you even realize how damn transparent you two are?” Amelia prodded again. You wished you were stubborn enough to just walk away, but you couldn’t help but look back over your shoulder; her expression was smug, arms crossed with a sassy attitude, “Some of us have started placing bets on when you’ll finally give this up.”

She got you going again whether you liked it or not, and so you mirrored Amelia’s posture as she looked cruelly between you and Eddie, “Give what up?”

“You’re clearly faking this whole thing.” Your surprised, affronted expression only seemed to amuse her, egging her on even as you tried to control the nervous beating of your heart, “You and Munson? Do you think any of us have been buying this? This whole thing between you too is so fake, it's almost sad.”

Putting on a brave, confident face, you bit back with malice, “Really, you think we’re faking all of this? Shows how much you know.”

“Please, I’ve known you since grade school.” Amelia took a challenging step towards you, eyes alight with spite, “You hate being touched, you’ve told me as much - wouldn’t even let Duncan hold your hand or hug you most of the time. But you cling to this freak as if you’re obsessed with him? It's performative.”

You were about to retaliate, but Amelia was just a little faster and a little louder as she continued over you, bulldozing through whatever you may have wanted to say.

“And don’t get me started on the stupid little face Munson makes at you, like he’s asking for permission to do something or that he needs approval of what he says. I don’t know why, but you put him up to this - I can read you better than anyone else.”

A worried part of you knew that, in some ways, Amelia was right - you two had spent so many years by each other’s sides, and had done just about everything together since you were five or six years old. The rapid dissolution of your friendship didn’t mean that you two would simply forget everything about one another - how could you forget the time Amelia stayed up late in the night to help you with a school project, how could she forget the time you instigated a fight with a boy who rejected her?

Hell, you and Amelia had spent more time with each other than either of you had spent with Janet, having sleepovers without her or going to movies and not telling her. At one time, you two were practically attached at the hip, doing nearly everything together from the ages of ten to thirteen.

So, if anyone was going to see through your lie, it would be Amelia - it didn’t matter just how good a liar you were, Amelia knew how you ticked. And, apparently, she’d been paying a lot of attention to you and Eddie, probably trying to catch you two in a lie.

But, then again, if she knew this was fake, why didn’t she say something about it sooner? Was she simply watching and waiting in amusement, anticipating when you’d give up the act? Or was she using this lie of yours to her advantage somehow? Better yet, was she the one lying to you right now, saying anything just to get a reaction from you?

As your angry eyes bounced around Amelia’s face in search of the truth, your expression only darkened, feeling fired up and eager to fight. When she simply raised a mocking eyebrow - daring you to prove her wrong - your stubbornness flared to the point that your fiery frustration boiled back down to icy contempt. 

Without a moment of hesitation, you gave her a smart look, your tone condescending and cold, accentuated by a mean smirk, “Well, how about you try reading this, you jealous bitch.”

With a flip of your hair you marched back towards Eddie, completely blind to the potential repercussions of what you were about to do. Your determined eyes met his confused ones, but you didn’t take a moment to second guess yourself as you threw your arms around his neck, knotting your fingers into the curls at the nape of his neck. For a split second, you could see the alarmed realization in Eddie’s face, but just as quickly you were drawing that handsome face down towards yours.

Your lips crashed together like rocky waves, noses bumping and teeth practically clashing; the kiss was sloppy and haphazard, the farthest thing from hot, and yet your entire body pulsed along with the excited leap of your heart. Eddie went rigid against you as if in alarm, and so you kissed him encouragingly, as if silently insisting that he get it together. When you tightened your grip on his hair and pressed your body flush against his, you could feel Eddie’s shoulders relax, could feel the exact moment that he gave himself over to you.

Once Eddie’s lips moved wantonly against yours, sparks flew through your entire being, your heart drumming aggressively in your chest as heat pooled in your center. In sync, you and Eddie melted together, a lithe arm snaking around your waist and pressing firmly against the small of your back; the flex of his fingers along your spine sent another surge through your body, a satisfied sigh daring to escape you.

God, you felt fucking weak in the knees, like a melting puddle in Eddie’s arms; as if to keep yourself upright, you cling to him even tighter, your lips suddenly full of a hungry, desperate fervor. Eddie’s kiss was inexperienced and tentative, and yet you found him utterly intoxicating, his mouth tasting malted and smoky as if he’d recently had a cigarette.

You were consumed by the moment, forgetting yourself as your tongue teased at Eddie’s lower lip; perhaps for the best, it caused him to hesitate, even as you felt him gasp against your lips. For a moment, he pinned you tighter against him before bringing the heated kiss to an end, pulling back with a deep breath as he watched you through his lashes.

Short breaths caused your chest to press against Eddie’s in a way that you tried to ignore, your hooded eyes staring at the shiny tint of your gloss that had transferred to his full lips. Electricity coursed through you, your body sensitive and heated as you finally met Eddie’s attentive, fraught gaze; as you stared, your mind was too frazzled to even think straight.

As if he could tell you were reeling, Eddie composed himself to the best of his ability, taking a step back, but keeping his hand securely on your back as if to keep you upright. Coming back to yourself, you blinked and attempted to correct your expression, nearly too embarrassed to look back at the group that was surely ogling the two of you.

In an effort to appear entirely unaffected, you brushed your hair back from your face and huffed as you met Amelia’s eyes. Your cheeks were flushed and your eyes were still probably large with surprise, but you attempted to give her a smart, mean look; your voice was weaker than you would have liked as you asked accusatory, “You perverts enjoy that?”

Eddie, too, tried to put up a calm and collected front, using his hand on your back to guide you in the opposite direction of your former friends. While flipping the bird over his shoulder, he attempted to give them a self-satisfied grin, although to you it was so clearly false. Much like you, his tone wasn’t entirely convincing, “Go find someone else to torment.”

As the two of you continued down the hall, you found yourself momentarily hypnotized by Eddie’s features, mesmerized by each tiny detail of his eyes, his mouth, his skin. When he looked forward again, you quickly scrubbed away the look of uncertain elation on your face, forcing yourself to put on an impassive expression. As you stared mindlessly ahead, you had to resist the temptation to press your fingertips to your swollen lips, trying not to be so damn in awe of the fact that you kissed Eddie.

The trek to the cafeteria was passed in total silence, as if neither of you knew how to strike up a conversation after that; your cheeks were warm as you kept stealing glances up at Eddie, who faced forward as if determined not to meet your eyes. The kiss played in your head over and over again as if it were a goddamn movie, the reel on a loop as you thought about his musky scent engulfing you, his wild hair tickling your face, his dexterous hand holding you close.

You could feel heat rising all the way up your neck and ears now, causing you to nearly giggle as you suppressed a grin. You thought you may have caught Eddie glancing at you, but you couldn’t quite bring yourself to check in case you two met eyes - that would most certainly make you laugh like a schoolgirl, and you were not about to do that.

You were at odds with yourself - your silly, childish side was practically fawning over the damned kiss, meanwhile your colder, more adamant side tried to shove the giddiness down. You were supposed to be moving on from this crush on Eddie, not making it worse. You shouldn’t have been stupid, you shouldn’t have kissed him, but you got caught up in the heat of the moment, allowing your pride to outweigh your head.

But, shit, that kiss was too good, and you just knew you’d be thinking about it for the rest of the week. You were an absolute idiot for kissing Eddie like that, and you wanted to kick yourself for it. You had to wonder what the hell Eddie was thinking, what the hell he’d say about this later; you both clearly figured that now wasn’t the time, hence your silence, although you feared the inevitable discussion that would come from this.

With each glance you stole up at Eddie’s annoyingly attractive face, you grew more and more worried that maybe you upset him by doing that. Unfortunately for you, now was one of the few times he seemed guarded, because you couldn’t read his straight expression in the slightest. You figured he must’ve understood why you kissed him, but you also suspected that it made him uncomfortable, even as he kissed you back just to appease the onlookers.

You already knew Eddie was a good actor, always putting on a performance for whoever was around even if they were his friends, so his ability to seamlessly slide into the kiss was terribly convincing. In that way, you were lucky, because neither of you looked stupid in front of your attempted bullies. But not so luckily for you, that kiss was far too enticing, as your heart still beat rapidly in your chest and your head was still fuzzy with confusion.

As you two entered the cafeteria and Eddie threw up that easy, joyful smile that often rested across his lips, it reaffirmed that, yes, he was acting, doing exactly the thing you asked him to in this little game of make-believe. You were almost mesmerized by how easily he played his part, guiding you through the lunch line and then to your table, tugging your chair closer to his so he could rest his knee against yours or throw his arm over your shoulder.

It went from being mesmerizing to annoying, because how could he so seamlessly put on these fronts when you were still struggling to regain your composure? How could he laugh and tell stories while his hand was on your thigh and making your entire body feel static? God, it was almost pathetic how worked up you’d gotten, and you just prayed that no one drew attention to it.

As lunch went on and Eddie kept everyone entertained, something began to nag at you that you couldn’t quite place, like a pressure at the back of your skull trying to remind you of something. All throughout the hour, the nagging grew as the kiss played through your mind again and again, even as you tried to think about literally anything else.

While trying to place what was worrying at your mind, you traced your finger lightly along your lower lip, back and forth in an unconscious motion that you weren’t aware of until your gaze flicked over to Eddie. His eyes were locked onto your lips, even as he spoke to the rest of the group, though his speech seemed to slow a little. You quickly dropped your hand into your lap, your body tightening nervously.

You realized that what you felt was a sense of familiarity, that there was an incomplete memory in your head on the verge of coming back to the surface. It was almost as if… kissing Eddie reminded you of something else, recalled another moment in some way. As you lingered on this, it almost seemed as if you already knew his musky scent, his plush lips, his lingering touch. But that was crazy - why would any of those things be familiar to you?

Had the kiss with Eddie simply been similar to a kiss you’d had with someone in the past? Perhaps you were confusing moments, befuddling sensations, because you most certainly hadn’t kissed Eddie before. Nothing about this should have stirred some kind of half-remembered moment, yet, you couldn’t just shake off that peculiar feeling.

You’ve never kissed Eddie prior to today, that couldn’t have happened, so why were you somehow under the impression that you had? When would you have done something that ridiculous and bold and thoughtless?

And then it hit you like a ton of bricks - the hours lost to your mind, waking up in the van, Eddie’s nerves throughout the morning.

Did you kiss him at the party?

With an anxious skip of your heart, your apprehensive gaze flicked back over to Eddie, who was caught up in telling a new story that you hadn’t been listening to you. You drank in his features with a mixture of desire and dread, torn between the two parts of yourself. You couldn’t have kissed him at the party, right? Even if you were drunk off your ass, that seemed like the kind of thing you wouldn’t so easily forget. But you had forgotten so much of that night, had a gap in your memory the size of a canyon… anything could have happened in those however-many hours that slipped by you.

Staring at Eddie’s lips, a wave of nerves crashed over you, and you had to force yourself to look elsewhere. If you did kiss him, why wouldn’t he have brought it up? Why wouldn’t he have asked about it? You must have made him uncomfortable, must have done something that he didn’t like, and he’d rather ignore it than ever address it again. And like an idiot, you kissed him again today, which probably did nothing to make Eddie feel any easier around you.

That was all the confirmation you needed to decide that you could never tell Eddie about this crush of yours - if he liked you in that same way, you would have already known about it. He would have mentioned that supposed first kiss, right? But because he hadn’t, you knew it wasn’t a subject he wanted to address.

And, so, this kiss wouldn’t be discussed either, you decided. You could ignore the butterflies in your stomach for Eddie’s sake, you could go on pretending that everything was perfectly fine between the two of you. You had to pretend.

With a dejected slump of your shoulders, you crossed your arms and slouched; Eddie’s hand still rested easily atop your thigh, and the way you lulled in the seat caused his fingertips to brush under your skirt a little, sending a bawdy jolt up through your center. You stole a timid glance at him from the corner of your eyes, watching as he realized his hand was higher on your leg before he pulled it back with a start.

There was no way Eddie liked you back, and you sighed to yourself, already missing his warm skin against yours.

.

.

@3rd-conchord @a-queen-blr @adelalaaa @adversary713 @avalon-wolf

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[sephirthoughts]

Vincent’s lingering obsession with Lucrecia is excellent drama, but their story is not a doomed romance.

This is an unpopular opinion, but I don’t think Lucrecia deserves nearly as much pity and excusing of her actions as she gets. This is not character-hate post, it's an analysis of a character I think gets short shrift as a Mother-Mary in a bell jar, and deserves better.

Lucrecia is morally grey. Charcoal grey. I love complex, morally grey characters, particularly when they're women, since usually women are relegated to roles that infantilize and objectify them, particularly in video games, which have historically been a very backward, androcentric medium. I strongly dislike brainless victims, subject to the whims of the male characters, without much agency, and Lucrecia was not such a character.

Lucrecia was an adult with agency and brains. She was a grown ass adult. She was a brilliant scientist. She made decisions with her eyes open, and even sacrificed her unborn child to her work. She is a very interesting character. The fact that she didn't idolize motherhood as the end-all of female existence, and that her obsession with her work was stronger than her desire to be a 'good mother' makes her far more interesting than otherwise. The fact that she regretted it later and wanted him back doesn’t magically make her a good person, or change the choices she made. It demonstrates guilt and remorse, which are part of character development. The bottom line is that she committed atrocities in the name of science, then felt guilty about it later, once she realized how devastating the consequences were to her personally. To say she didn’t know what she was doing or Hojo manipulated or controlled her is to infantilize and disrespect her character. She’s not some sacrificial angel who was a victim of circumstances; she was a willing participant in her own downfall.

Lucrecia is a tragic character, but she's not a romantic lead. Except in Vincent's head. After all was said and done, she had one of those too-late changes of heart that make tragedy so emotionally impactful. She had a human reaction to Vincent's death and felt terribly guilty for her role in all of it, as she should. That doesn't mean she loved him, it means she wasn't a monster. She lost her son, and gradually, Hojo's callous inhumanity and her inability to escape the net she wove with her own hands closed in on her. Did she deserve to never hold her baby son and never see him even once? No. But she caused it, with her own actions. That's tragedy. She was miserable, bereft, and riddled with guilt, so she made a last-ditch effort to make something right...by doing more insane science shit that turned Vincent into a monster. Seeing that she'd only made everything worse, she tried to kill herself, but was unable to, and thus ran off to become a crystal statue in a cave (this is a trope that I dislike, but that's the story, so that's what we've got).

Vincent is a bad judge of the circumstances. Vincent persists in seeing her as a lost love, and someone from whom he was unjustly separated by circumstances. The fact that he is so blinded by his feelings for her that he places her on this pedestal and can't blame her for what she did is excellent characterization, and I love it, but it's because he’s wrong. He loved her. She didn’t love him (I think she was in love with his father, but that's just icing on the tragedy cake, at this point). His lingering attachment, not to the real Lucrecia, but to the idealized version of her he has in his mind, is a very sad reality that adds so much delicious pain to his character. In the end, he is unable to blame her, because he loved his image of her (and Hojo is a way easier target for anger, because he's literally the worst), which speaks far more to his personal bias in the situation than to her actual role in it. She’s not moustache-twirlingly evil like Hojo but she’s not Vincent's star cross'd soul mate tragically torn away by cruel fate. Lucrecia was her own person.

In summation. Their story is not a doomed romance, it's a complicated, messy, ugly tangle of thorns, and one of the best written tragedies in a game that literally bleeds tragedy from every orifice. It's got one-sided love, obsession, mad science, betrayal, jealousy, fetal experimentation, murder, corpse reanimation, and a guy who can't die, and is left to deal with the consequences of everyone else's actions by himself forever. No one is innocent and no one comes out unscathed…strike that. Vincent is innocent and Hojo comes out unscathed. But still. Lucrecia is not a holy mother, she's not a brainless victim, and she's not Vincent's lost love. She's a person he loved, and who didn't reciprocate. Most importantly, she's a person. A whole-ass, complex, morally grey, fully developed person, who made terrible choices, then made even worse choices, and in the end, couldn't escape the fate she wove for herself.

And then wound up encased in crystal so she could be a pretty statue forever cause the game devs just couldn't help themselves I guess.

[izvmimi]

cw: angst. character death. you and izuku are married and have a young son. godparent!katsuki. katsuki has an unnamed wife.

Your son always starts a fuss when you bring him to his grandmother’s house, but for some reason, as you slowly trudge up the steps to your mother-in-law’s modest home (she’d refused to let her son move her out into your large shared home or even a much larger, more roomy domicile of her own), you find that your son is eerily quiet, as though he can sense the turmoil inside of you and is choosing to give you a much needed break. 

By the time he makes it into Inko’s arms, he’s always less fussy, but today he’s quietly looking at you, curiously, as if he’s waiting for you to break down and cry. He’s unnerving that way, gifted with practically the same emotional intuition as your sweet husband, and it doesn’t help that he has practically the same face. Inko is quick to take your behaving not-yet-toddler from you, and gives you a sympathetic look. She is not going to the funeral yet because she plans to watch your son, but she’s spent practically every night this week at Mitsuki’s house, preparing food and helping her through her tears. You’ve helped your best friend, Katsuki’s wife, grieve similarly, but now that the final moment has come to lay him to rest, you feel dread rising in the pit of your stomach. 

You should not show your face. After all, you killed Katsuki Bakugou.

After you repeat this statement again out loud to your mother-in-law, shaky hands folded in your lap as she hands you a glass of water and tries to steady your nerves, she reminds you, as all good mothers would, that it wasn’t your fault.

He’d meant to save you. You hadn’t been the one to force an unclosable hole through his chest, and if it hadn’t been you standing and vulnerable in that particular spot, it would have been someone else he’d have aimed to save. 

Perhaps that last part is true. Or perhaps, because you are one of his closest friends' treasures, he fought a little bit harder, moved a little bit quicker and a little bit more recklessly to ensure that you made it out, that you’d be the one to explain to your best friend why her husband is not coming home to dinner, rather than he have to explain to Izuku why the mother of his child is no longer of this world. It’s a moment that plays in your mind constantly ever since you first heard the sickening crunch of bone and sinew give way, the spray of your child’s godfather’s blood soaking your clean clothes.

You’d just been at the grocery store and run into each other by chance. It’s been over a decade long gag now to pretend you hate each other more than everything while acknowledging that you’ve both intertwined your lives with a person the other holds terribly dear. When you saw Katsuki you crinkled your nose, a joke akin to ‘look what the cat dragged in’ muttered in some variation by you both, before walking side by side and catching up. The four of you had dinner plans that weekend anyway and Katsuki takes the idea of godparent far too seriously for being an only child, and thus was far too interested in what you were putting in your cart.

“I read kids develop their tastes early in life and I don’t think this” - he picks up a six-pack carton of juice that was admittedly laden in sugar from your cart - “is particularly conducive to healthy development.”

“Katsuki, I didn’t ask you,” you hiss, snatching it out of his hands, then sheepishly add, “in fact, that was mine.”

He laughs and shakes his head.

“Figures for all that chaotic energy you have,” he jokes. 

You had more to say to him, and then merely ten minutes later, in a flurry of explosions and debris, screams and scattered people,  you were staring straight through his chest to the other side.

“Fuck.”

Fuck? You thought. Katsuki looking at you, then looking at the gaping wound in his chest, then looking at the incapacitated villain and the destroyed supermarket, then looking back at your hands deep in his wound, pressing down at his chest desperately to stop the bleeding as best you can, tears running down your cheeks. You who so often were joined at the hip with the one he loves, who’s grown to merge their natural smile with Izuku’s over time, whose face is distorted in fear and shock and desperation to keep him alive so you don’t have to tell your best friend that you are the reason he’s no longer here to protect her.

Because he was protecting you. For his friend. For his wife. For the kid you’ve entrusted to him in case something happens to your or Izuku's child, who better not get that goddamn juice box.

“Hey, it’s okay.”

You want to scream, no it’s not, it will never be, how am I supposed to tell her-

“I forgive you. I’m not mad. Just take care of her, okay?”

Katsuki’s voice was the quietest, calmest you had ever heard it be since you’ve met him and you hate that he smiled, and you hate hate hate that Izuku would have done it for him, too. 

The shaking turns into sobs again and Inko holds your hands tightly. Your son is upstairs, too occupied with toys, again far too polite and considerate, and you wonder if he’ll remember how hard you are crying right now. If he’ll remember his father crying and holding you that terrible evening. You wonder what he’ll do when he’s old enough to know why his auntie doesn’t have a husband and why there are four people smiling in that wedding photo that hangs in your home instead of the three he knows, and who bought him nearly half of his books and toys. 

“I can’t go there,” you whisper again. 

Inko tilts her head. 

“But she needs you,” Inko murmurs. You wipe your tears with the back of your hands. Your husband, who isn’t the coward you are, is already at the funeral, working through funeral arrangements. Your throat dries up at how much he must be apologizing again, or perhaps he’s not apologizing at all, keeping his head up high and reminding everyone that Dynamight died saving someone important to him and what he did was not a mistake. 

“Kacchan is a true hero.” Izuku repeated softly into your ear, then to himself, then to you again, then to the world, then to his wife. His wife who should hate you but is too mournful to bother.

“I can’t go there,” you repeat. “I cannot look her in the eyes.”

But your best friend needs you and cried in your arms that very first night.

Inko nods.

“But she’d do it for you,” she says, softly.

She would do it for you, the same way Izuku would have done it for Katsuki. 

…

Moments later, you’re squeezing Dynamight’s widow’s hand as Izuku praises him, and you wish it hadn’t turned out this way but you’re at least fulfilling your promise.

Just take care of her, okay? 

You will, for the rest of your life.

[antimony-medusa]

Gonna be honest with you though if someone outright says “don’t ship my character with other people” or something to that extent regarding smut or whatever I don’t think there should be any ambiguity

I get your point about the nature of fanfic being inherently encroaching upon people’s images so that levity should be extended to otherwise uncommon avenues but I really believe hardline boundaries should be respected, end of, no discussion. If I see people violating creators’ boundaries for their characters Or themselves (and these can be intertwined, it’s not up to the audience to pick apart their boundaries, cuz I’ve seen people try to do that) I’m not going to judge them fairly and I feel like neither should you.

Lines can be crossed and intimacy (not even necessarily romantic!) is a very different monster than the other avenues of storytelling because of how it involves real life relationships seeping into character relationships. Its’s uncommon for people to be like “I wrote A’s character being tortured because I feel like A is tortured in real life” but they Can and Often do that with ship work. So I don’t know, I feel like you’re not affording this the right nuance.

Alright, so, this is another post I'm gonna slap with a discourse and long post warning right away, buckle in.

Yeah, I hear what you're saying, and this is not an uncommon opinion to have! It's still the opinion of twitter/x so far as I know, and I think it's probably the opinion of the bulk of dsmp fans here, as well. I know my posts get notes once they start circulating in hermitblr, but I don't kid myself that I have the majority view. I am posting to explain my views expressly because I know a lot of people don't agree with me!

And in this case we do have a difference of opinion. There's two sort of points as I see it in your posts— we have hardline boundaries about shipping/nsfw from some people, and everyone in the fandom should be abiding by those no exceptions or be thrown out of the fandom; and we have shipping boundaries but not boundaries for other things because shipping is uniquely boundary-crossing and terrible and invasive, in contrast to anything else we can do in fandom.

Taking the second part first, I just don't think that's true. Let's not forget, boundaries discourse started with SMPLive and SMPronpa, and it was not the shipping that caused the discussion, it was the death games. The first real fandom reckoning we had with the notion of boundaries as mcyt fandom was over gore and murder and portraying people in violent ways. Shipping was barely a blip on the radar. The way the discourse has developed now, shipping is framed as the absolute worst thing anyone could ever do with your public image, and everything else is fine, but that is not the case for everyone. Recently the Pirates SMP creators were asked repeatedly for their boundaries (bothered on twitter, really) until they gave them and thus we saw people being fine with shipping but not wanting family dynamic, or being against both shipping and gore, or being fine with shipping but not wanting to be gender bent or trans headcanoned, etc. Not everyone feels the same way about the same things, despite the us-american cultural viewpoint that romance and sexualization is uniquely bad but gore and torture is fine, that everything else is fine.

Like, if we're looking at DSMP, I think there are a lot of creators who would feel just as strongly if not stronger about fics in which their character died of a terminal illness than they would about a fic in which they kiss someone, for understandable reasons. But I see those tropes in the tags regularly!

I think if we are honest with ourselves, if we are going to hardline boundaries about things that are uniquely invasive or bad to do to a creator's character with the view that we are putting all of this up for the creator's approval, we need to accept that this excludes us from writing anything where a character is abusive or is tortured or dies of a terminal illness or is psychologically broken or is age regressed or is neurodivergent or is queer if the cc is straight or trans if the cc is cis or cis if the cc is trans or straight if they're gay— the list of things that would be weird to do in the face of the real guy is really long. And it has most of our favourite tropes on it!

I love writing autistic philza. It would be really fuckin' weird to go up to Philza and tell him about how I write his character as whumped and autistic. Come on now. (But that's within boundaries, so that's— fine? I really don't think it's fine!)

Which is why my stance is that we should be thinking critically about these things, and keeping the fandom seperate from the creators. Some of these things are just not for the creators. They're fine but they shouldn't go on twitter. Y'know?

The idea that shipping draws uniquely on the real person and leads to invasive behaviour but nothing else does— that nobody does "I wrote A being tortured because I think A is tortured in real life"— Look. I have been in the fandom a long time. I remember how all the abused tommy narratives fed right into people assuming his family in real life were abusive— and talking about this on twitter! Where he and his family could see! People did this with WIlbur and Techno too!

I remember people reading about trans tommy and then truthing that the creator either was transmasc or was going to come out as transfemme any day now, publically, on twitter and in his chat. I have seen people she/her tubbo to his face on twitter, with fancams. I have been in chat when people who have clearly assigned Phil "dad" start asking WILDLY invasive things in TTS. If you think that shipping is the only fandom behaviour that can lead to people drawing directly from the streamers for their work and treating the creators weirdly about it, you simply have not been paying attention.

The way the fandom insists on treating benchtrio as children despite the fact that they're almost twenty and viciously attacking their friends for treating them as adults and chiding tommy and tubbo and ranboo for inappropriate behaviour. The list goes ON.

So. The recieved DSMP wisdom is that we should TTS the streamers to check if it's okay if we write a fic in which they die of cancer. We should DM them on instagram to ask if it's okay if we write them as a gender or sexual identity they don't share. We should show up in their twitter mentions to ask if it's okay if we write them as a physically abusive parent.

No????????

My view on that is that it is frankly bizzare it is that we have decided that "asking creators for detailed instructions regarding porn or gore" (especially in TTS! When they're fucking at WORK and can't step away! Stop doing this to the hermits!) is normal and fine and responsible but "post your shit in appropriate places and leave the creators out of it" will make you a monster.

Once again, the experience of someone coming up and saying "i think of you as age regressed" and someone saying "i found this fic where you're age regressed" and someone saying "can I write a fic where you're age regressed" is not that different. In all cases you know that the person has been thinking about it and putting it out there, and in all cases you didnt seek out this information, it was brought to you. In all cases it's weird. Just do not bring this information up to them!

If you just think about it for a while, you see that there is an entire host of things that would be weird to force into the view of a creator, especially when you consider that half the time we got these clips from TTS information when we have no idea if the person answering knew the context of what they were being asked, if they were specifically aware of the creator/cc divide that the fandom works with, or if they felt pressured into it. Oh yeah, let's take a TTS clip from Tubbo when it was 2 in the morning for him and he was deep in a minecraft mod when someone asked him about alters and delusions and he was like "oh you mean like— when they can't help it? I guess that's fine." That definately counts as freely given, reversible, informed, enthusiastic and specific consent to show him anything we want at all times forever. That's never going to make him uncomfortable.

Think a little here.

So I think there's a lot of the fandom that we should not be putting up for the approval of the creators, and if we don't have a firm answer on if they would like potential edge cases, we should probably be thinking about it and keeping it away from them (and I would err on the side of caution), we should NOT be showing up in the TTS to ask them about narratives in which they're institutionalized, or making them a GOP conservative in fiction, or if Wilbur was canon about seeing them as a bottom, or whatever bizzare thing someone is cooking up now. Honestly if you think to yourself "I don't know if the creator would like seeing this", I would be much more comfortable if the two choices we were picking between there were "simply don't write it" or "write it but keep it away from them", and "harass the creator for an answer on this subject and only write it if they say yes" never entered the equation at all.

And to return to your first point, if we already have a class of fiction that we are keeping away from the creators because basic intellectual curiosity would show that it would be weird to show someone, I don't think it's the end of the world to go "okay, creator doesn't like NSFW, so we also keep the NSFW away from them, keep this shit off twitter, block them if you create it, don't show it to them" and then we archive lock it and continue on our little weirdo on the internet ways.

Now, I don't expect to convince you of this, the phrasing of your post does not indicate that you're open to discussion on this topic. That's fine. Nobody has to agree with me. But I grew up conservative christian, and I have already had people try and get me to throw people out of the community for their perceived sins where I was like "well, I really don't think this is that bad", and I'm really resistant to being forced to do that again. I don't think it's a healthy way to run a fandom, to be shunning people for what they're doing in fiction. Harassing creators in chat? Sure, I will block them from my events as untrustworthy. That's hurting someone in the real world. Writing something that I don't vibe with privately on the archive for an audience of 50 people? That is not doing harm to real people. As long as they're not showing it to the creators, I don't count that as offensive.

How's that for nuance.

[tepkunset]

Representation vs. Appropriation

When I made a tumblr blog post pointing out that the character creator in Baldur’s Gate 3 included culturally appropriative face tattoos, lot of people decided to bend over backwards to defend this. Excuses I have found while giving my blocking finger a routine work-out thus far have ranged from “Larian Studios is European so they don’t know any better”, to a classic “it’s just a fantasy game, stop being so oversensitive”. But by far the most common poor reaction was, “what if it’s representation?”

Now, two Māori people were quick to jump into this post and say themselves, clear as day, that this is not representation, it is appropriation. That should be enough right there—settlers do not get to decide what is and isn’t representation for us Indigenous folks. But white people not listening to Indigenous voices is nothing new. I’ve been forced to learn that if you want to be taken seriously by settlers, your best chance is to coddle and appease their poor little delicate feelings. So, let’s pretend for a second that these “what if it’s representation?” questions are actually asked in good, albeit ignorant faith, and not just a pathetic gut-reaction to avoid having to critically think about a beloved game. (Which, by the way, I still overall adore myself, mind you.) Let’s pretend they actually want an answer, and give it to them.

It’s very easy to list the examples of positive Indigenous representation I’ve personally experienced in video games, not made by Indigenous folks ourselves, because there’s only one game that comes to mind: Assassin’s Creed 3. The protagonist of AC3 is Ratonhnhaké:ton of the Kanienʼkehá꞉ka people. Ubisoft is a terrible company for other reasons, but they did one thing right in the development of this game: They hired a cultural consultant, Thomas Deer. Deer was able to guide them through avoiding offensiveness and stereotypes, and include proper cultural touchstones that Indigenous players, especially Mohawk players, would want to see. For example, Ubisoft originally wanted to include sacred ceremonial masks in the game, but Deer told them that depictions of these masks would be taboo. He also helped them choose what clothing and jewellery was authentic to the Nation. This, among much more, helped create a truly representative experience. What makes it representation is that it features an Indigenous character in a positive way, without crossing lines into what should not be touched by outsiders. But had Ubisoft decided to ignore Deer’s consultation and go ahead with using those sacred masks… that would have been cultural appropriation.

Cultural appropriation is taking a closed cultural practice and using it yourself, despite not belonging to the culture it comes from. The key word there is closed, as in, something not for outsiders to touch. Eating frybread is not cultural appropriation, because it’s something freely shared by Natives to others. But wearing a fake headdress to your local musical festival is cultural appropriation, because headdresses are sacred regalia not freely shared by Natives to others. It really is that simple: just listen to boundaries set by the People.

“But my fake headdress is just clothing.” “But a fake kakiniit is just ink.” “But my fake totem pole is just decoration.” Except not, and the very fact that you have no respect for the history and meaning behind these things is the perfect example as to why they are not for you. But being told something isn’t for them has always been a hard a pill for settlers to swallow.

The phrase “nothing about us without us” is often used when advocating for rights and respect of minorities. It was first brought into English vocabulary by South Africa’s disability activism in the 1990’s, and has since been adapted across the world as a slogan to mean uplifting voices of the people you claim to want to help, instead of speaking over them. I personally first heard it through EDIRA work (Equity, Diversity, Inclusion, Reconciliation and Accessibility) at my job, and I feel like it can be applied in many different ways, this being one of them. The best representation comes from listening to the people you want to represent. Had Larian done that, they would have known that imitating those tattoos was off limits. But since they didn’t, they took what wasn’t theirs to take. And that’s appropriation.

[pastafossa]

Hi, let's talk gatekeeping fanfic. First, if you bully teenage girls out of the fandom for writing like teenagers who're still learning, you are a terrible person. Because you were that teenager. I get some of us fic writers like to pretend we came out of the womb clutching a bloody, sticky 250k word in-depth character study fic that would rank in the top ten most kudos'd fics in the fandom ever if only our eyeballs and coordination were developed enough to transfer it to a screen, but that's a massive pile of horseshit, and you know it. You wrote with mashed paragraphs and mispellings and clunky dialogue. You used the same tropes you like to mock young writers for. So maybe have a flashback and then chill.

And just in case you don't care about that, you're also literally shooting yourself in the face, because a TON of writers (which often includes you) generally follow this trend:

Get excited about a character or fandom when you're younger and/or not a Leveled Up Writer yet

Decide to try writing fanfic for the first time

Bang something out and excitedly post it

Either get good or helpful/encouraging reactions that make you want to keep keep writing, or you get a bunch of sneering comments about teenagers by grownass gatekeepers who, for some reason, feel smug about mocking excited novices who're trying to write a fun story, thus chasing you away from writing.

And there's where you fuck yourself over if you pick the shit-covered Door #2. Because a writer can't improve unless they write. Oh, you might not see the effect immediately, but after a few years, the fanfic scene will die down as writers move on to less toxic spaces (or give up entirely). And you will have no one to fill the void. YOU are the reason you'll get less fic. Imagine mocking and making fun of a new piano player whose first song on piano is Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. "Ugh, I hate this basic teenage crap, are you just banging on keys? Come back when you can play Moonlight Sonata."

I literally do not give one single shit if you 'approve' of some teenager's (or adult's!) fic. If they're happy creating the equivalent of a cake with a stick figure design, that's awesome cause they made themselves a cake they enjoy. Alternatively, they're practicing making cake and no cake is perfect the first time, unless you learn something, in which case it's served its purpose and is a great cake due to fulfilling that purpose.

Tell you what - you want to gatekeep? Here's who you can gatekeep in fanfic:

Plagiarists.

There. Go nuts.

And if you're a novice writer, be it teenager or adult, deciding to try writing fic for the first time, please, please don't let them tear you down. Please don't stop writing. Don't stop learning. Don't stop creating. Don't stop being so filled with love for a story and its characters that you have to create just so you can breathe a little easier without your words and story filling up all that space around your lungs. I promise you, I promise, that every single writer you love has been at where you're at now, and the only reason they write like they do now is that they kept going, kept trying, kept writing. People will talk about talent but it plays a far smaller role than you think - this is 90% practice. And that means you can learn this.

You can do this.

So do it.

[ultrainfinitepit]

Town of Puddle: Vampires

Last updated 08/14/2023

In the world of Puddle, vampire is a catch-all term for any humanoid creature that needs to consume something from a human to survive - usually human flesh or blood, but some subsist on other things such as emotions, dreams, etc. The most common vampire is the classic undead vampire. Vampires are usually immortal or very long-lived. 

While vampires are thought to have any number of origins, there is in fact one singular origin from which they descend. The first vampires were nephilim, the children of the demon Asherah and the angel Rapha. Asherah was the queen of a kingdom named Hell. Tales of this kingdom and her rule would pass through the ages and become distorted into mythology. Rapha was an angel of blood with a terrible hunger his children would inherit. Both are long dead and gone, but their influence on their descendants lingers. Common vampiric powers, such as glamours and shapeshifting, come from these ancient ancestors.

Asherah and Rapha’s children were destined to rule, for a time anyway, over all corners of the earth. Some were more suited to the forests or mountains or cities, others to the sea or even the skies. These first vampires would eventually give rise to all the different types of vampires we see today.

The kingdoms of vampires were matriarchal, modeled after Asherah’s own kingdom. Matriarchs are a special type of vampire suited to rule, and childbirth. Mundane vampires have difficulty bearing children, most being completely infertile. Natural-born vampires are thus rare but not unheard of. Most vampires nowadays are turned, from human to vampire as other creatures are immune or will simply die to vampirism.

A childe (plural, childer) is a vampire that has been turned by another, who is their sire. One of the few remaining widespread cultural norms for vampires, is that a sire has some degree of responsibility for their childer shortly after they are turned, and it is good practice to teach them local vampire rules, history, and etiquette.

While most vampires prefer solitary existences, many vampires form groups for mutual support. These groups often vie for power in shadowy undergrounds that exist away from human eyes. A vampire group might be called a gang, a pack, or a coven.

Below are my named vampires so far. If you’re curious about even more, @wyrmzier also has their own Puddle vampire characters you can ask about.

Vivian Moon used to be human, but she was turned into a vampire. She is like a siphonophore, a colony inhabiting a human form. Because she is a colony of organisms she can survive grave injuries or even dismemberment, for short periods of time. When her limbs are separated from her body they have their own intelligence, like an octopus’s. Vivian works as a forensic consultant for a special precinct dedicated to investigating monster-related crimes. 

Ethel Stone is Vivian’s friend in City Hall, who keeps her informed of political goings-on and secretly helps out her fellow vampires. Ethel is a lamprey vampire.

Teutho Melua is a vampiric pirate captain with a love of theatrics and parties. He is Vivian and Mordecai’s sire. Teutho is initially very narcissistic and bloodthirsty, but after some character development he becomes slightly less narcissistic. He is still bloodthirsty.

Mordecai Esadze is Teutho’s first mate. He is dark, serious, and grumpy, to balance Teutho’s more flashy personality. Mordecai is responsible and secretly more of a softie than he lets on.

Adelaide is Mordecai’s childe, his only one. As a human she sought the change, vampires call these sorts of humans “bite-chasers.” Now she manages a modest network of underground clubs and casinos, and in her spare time enjoys breeding snakes.

Lilian Heather is the adopted daughter of Samuel, and an up-and-coming actress.

Melanthios is an ancient vampire, thousands of years old and now more monstrous than humanoid. He is Menodora’s mate.

Malakos was the youngest of Menodora’s children, a cruel and egotistical vampire who controlled a small criminal empire on the Black Sea. He was Teutho’s sire, and was killed by Teutho and Mordecai.

Hyacinth is another of Malakos's childer, who pursues Teutho for a time.

Chise is Vivian’s mother, a bakeneko vampire. She abandoned Vivian at a young age, leaving her with no knowledge of her heritage.

Lycan was an ancient vampire, a child of Rapha and Asherah. His pursuit of a cure for vampirism led to the creation of werewolves.

Felisity is an ancient cat vampire, and a Matriarch. She was a queen of a small kingdom and was worshipped as an aspect of the goddess Bastet for many years, but eventually was dethroned and went into hiding.

[tmntkiseki]

So this is one thought that has rotated in my brain ever since I watched through the entire 2003 series for the first time, but as much as I love Donatello and consider him my favorite turtle, there is one not-so-tiny thing that bugs me and that's the fact that he does probably go through the least character development of the four turtles despite going through some genuinely terrible shit.

When I think of some of the stuff Donatello goes through during the series, the stuff that makes me think "Good lord, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO MY BOY," the three incidents that stick out the most are the Triceraton Mind Probe from the Space Invaders arc, the entirety of Same As It Never Was, and the Outbreak Saga/Good Genes Arc. The Triceraton Mind Probe scene is one that is physically painful to watch. Don is writhing and screaming the whole time as the probe rapidly picks through his memories trying to find information on Professor Honeycutt's whereabouts, and it's clear that at one point he becomes so scared that he begs for help from his father. Fortunately, his spiritual connection with Splinter allows him overpower the device and short circuit it, but if he hadn't had such a strong bond with him, who knows what would have happened.

Same As It Never Was... what needs to be said at this point? Donatello gets transported to a bad future where the Shredder rules the world, Splinter and Casey are dead, and the turtles have disbanded after their version of Don disappeared 30 years prior. Donatello watches all three of his brothers die protecting him, and at the end of the episode laments the fate of his poor brothers and just how nightmarish the world is before he's warped away. And that's just the tl;dr version.

Good Genes arc, though, oh my god. I feel a major reason why this arc is so good is because it plays on an idea presented on Same As It Never Was--that is, Donatello, with his level head and ability to come up with ingenious solutions to problems the turtles encounter, is what's keeping the team together. As a result of the Outbreak virus, Donatello undergoes a secondary mutation that turns him into a violent, aggressive monster and it's stated because of reactions with the Utrom mutagen already in his blood, his body is breaking down; if he's not cured, he will die. The knowledge that Donatello may perish if nothing is done is bad enough, but even just not having their brother there mentally is enough to mess up the entire team dynamic. In their desperation to save him, they go so far as to make a deal with Bishop, who Leonardo openly compares to the Devil himself, and their actions ultimately lead to the events of the Ninja Tribunal arc the following season. It was the single most dire situation the turtles were in since Exodus, and it wasn't even an entire galaxy at stake; just their beloved brother.

But despite all that, Donatello doesn't actually change much as a result of these events. That's because, more often than not, the stuff that happens to him is more used to fuel his brothers emotional reactions and development than his own. Good Genes is probably the best example of this because even though Donatello is the one physically suffering during the arc, it's Leonardo, Raphael, and Michelangelo who get all the interesting emotional reactions to their present situation; Leonardo finds himself almost completely lost on what to do without Don, and Raphael and Michelangelo, who are absolutely devastated over Don's transformation, spend much of the arc eerily quiet when compared to their usual selves. The only thing we get in terms of Don is the fact that he doesn't remember what happened while he was "sick," and is thus frustrated by how much his brothers end up coddling him in the wake of the incident (which unfortunately isn't all that important since we're about to enter the Ninja Tribunal arc.)

It really is unfortunate that Donatello doesn't go through much development because I otherwise love everything about him. Besides his intelligence, techno savvy, and ability to quickly pick up skills that might be useful to the team (I'm also very biased towards his Bō not due to its strength as a weapon, but it's amount of utility both in and outside combat), I'm absolutely floored by just how nice and gentle he is. He's still got plenty of sass hidden in his shell and can be quite snippy when he's annoyed, but he shows a lot of emotional sensitivity and is very empathetic; this is especially shown in his sibling dynamics with Raphael and Michelangelo, whose relationships tend to be the most...tumultuous? Of the turtles. I don't have a better word for it.

As an aside, I genuinely feel like The King doesn't get enough credit where it's due because yeah, it's a touching tribute to the late Jack Kirby, but it's important as a Donatello-focused episode because it's not focused on his status as the genius inventor of the turtles; instead, we look at his nature as a kind, friendly individual who is very sentimental and doesn't take loss very well. He quickly strikes up a friendship with Kirby, who is one of the few humans not to reject Donatello just because he's a 5'2" mutant turtle, and they end up having a fun adventure in the alternate dimension where all of Kirby's drawings end up disappearing to. Unfortunately, Donatello is unable to pull Kirby back through the portal in time as it's closing; the alternate ending, which is closer to original Mirage issue the episode is based on, really hammered in just how deeply this affected Don, since he absolutely refuses to talk to Raphael and walks off to be by himself, gazing solemnly at the drawing Kirby was able to send through the portal. "Life at best is bittersweet. Take care of yourself."

God damn it, my poor son.

[bird-inacage]

You’ve said all what I’ve been thinking about Love Sea. I wanted to enjoy this but it hasn’t been hitting for me the same as LITA. I think the show took a nosedive when they left the island. It’ll probably be a rushed ending that they won’t stick the landing but atleast FortPeat have scorching chemistry as always. With a better director/writer they could be even more of a force. I would love to see what they could do with a BOC production. It’s really too bad MMY sticks them in the basement for the most part.

Hello there Anon,

It's certainly reassuring to hear I'm not the only one who has not fully taken to Love Sea as a story.

Fortpeat have great potential as actors. With unmistakable chemistry and a decent range, their talents can definitely be better harnessed. Though I can see there were some interesting ideas at play here - the plot itself has struggled to stand up in support of what they can do. And yes, I completely side-eye the writing as the root cause for the flimsier elements and character trajectories (or lack thereof) in this show. Whilst Fortpeat are doing their best to elevate and add value, there's only so much they can do within the confines of the plot/dialogue given to them, and under the direction of MAME and MeMindY.

I wouldn't say Love Sea is terrible by any stretch. But what is good is largely credit to Fortpeat themselves, which means they'd probably be great in whatever show you put them in. It's not the show itself that's doing an awful amount to bring this to fruition. Which is why I'd advocate for them to be directed/coached by a new team, and how that could be a very positive step in their development as actors.

I'm already noticing a few habits or tendencies they each have that could be moulded with better direction and mentorship.

As mentioned, I will withhold my final conclusion on this series until it's finished airing. But considering we're edging close to the finale, it's unlikely we're suddenly going to see a drastic change in what we've observed thus far.

We'll find out soon enough!

---birdie

[carouselunique]

i remember you criticised Resolution for playing into stereotypes about absent Black fathers. do you think doing a storyline about the Doctor abandoning his family (as touched on in The Devil's Chord) with the first mainline Black Doctor plays into that stereotype as well.

It’s complicated because I do think that’s a terrible stereotype to play with especially with the absence of black writers in the room which was a problem across both the Chibnall Era for the most part and the RTD II Era thus far (he has promised to change that however we can’t take what’s promised to be represented offscreen into account for what’s happening at the moment because we don’t have that yet…) and I do think this being touched on immediately is a case of bad timing, trying to marry the Chibnall Era with the RTD II Era and not having enough black voices in the room.

That being said, I also think there is a responsibility as well to not treat the character as being a complex being with years and years of story including mistakes just because they’re our first real example of diversity and I do appreciate that RTD II isn’t doing what Chibnall Era did with the Thirteenth Doctor and taking their Doctor and refusing to do interesting and complicated things with the character because they have to represent a sudden inclusion of a demographic. That feels offensive to me that because a character is representation we can’t do anything real with them because we’re not treating them as real people.

So in that sense I can see the throughline they’re trying to connect and appreciating that they are trying to reckon with and address the Susan/One situation because it did suck and also it does seem to have a relationship to the character background they’re setting up for Ruby. And I appreciate that they’re trying to give the Doctor his whole background for better or worse, not treating him as a full reboot but a soft reboot that still has a whole history and he IS this character. I just think maybe I personally would have chosen writers to reflect the character if they’re going to write this sort of thing.

What was bad about Chibnall Era doing this story was that they just DID IT and seemed to never address all the ways Ryan’s background was kind of… racist. Killing off Grace for Graham’s development largely, Ryan’s mother dead and Ryan’s father a deadbeat meaning his strongest connection was all about his white grandad. If the RTD II Era going forward does it’s due care in representing the story, then I won’t have the same issues with it.

[pomefioredove]

As the president of VilYuu nation what are your speculations for manga!Yuu for Pomefiore installment, considering the manga version of each Yuu serves as the foil for the overblot boys ✨️

(Or they should be, but tbh I only Yuuta who served this purpose the most clearly as he looks like how Azul was in the past yet he is happy and content, unlike Azul. I wished we could have seen Yuuken's and Yuuka's backstories explored more to mirror Riddle's and Leona's.)

For Vil's Yuu, I'm thinking of child actor whose fame is rapidly vanishing but is still dedicated to their work until they're tossed into twst 🤔 But again manga Yuu has all been average high school students so idk, maybe they're in some clubs which involve performing arts? Or the average fan who is fond of innocent type of idols like Neige hot idols like Vil? Anything's possible and I'm not sure if I can contain my excitement until the Pomefiore manga is finally out 💕 (which will happen in 2 years if we're lucky, considering how long it took Heartslabyul manga 😭)

admittedly I don't keep up with the mangas so I am reading this all as you explain it to me, but if they were a foil, they would contrast him more so than not, yes?

so it actually would make more sense for yuu to just be an average high school student. even more than that. make them a nobody, a complete introvert, someone who hates being looked at

I think the most effective character foils are ones who contrast the main character's superficial qualities (which, in this case, would be vil's elegance, style, fame, talents, etc), but mirror their repressed thoughts and feelings. make this yuu someone who struggles with feeling inferior, make them insecure about their morality, make them someone who is a loner, not by their own hand, but by being villainized and isolated by their peers

I guess I would go for a backstory that's more like, yuu as a young child who wasn't socialized properly (I think this would parallel the film industry in vil's background well). but they're a terrible actor, and thus can never lie about anything. they're blunt, they don't fake smile, they express disgust and contempt often and easily... others call them mean and scary and they were othered, and so they grew to fit the role of the villain. almost unashamedly so.

they avoid people, they hate being the center of attention, and they hate feeling judged, which creates a lot of conflict between them and vil for a long time. "don't talk to me, don't look at me, I hate you" type of edgy. lots of self-hatred, and a deep bitterness towards others they think of as perfect. what they feel for vil is almost what vil feels for neige

but yeah idk lol. I was imagining a fem yuu for all of this because I feel like this sort of personality is way more interesting for a female character to have, but as far as I know all the manga yuus are male. just some speculation!

anyway tldr since this is mostly just me babbling

yuu is a terrible actor who can't so much as fake a smile

their bluntness and lack of expression makes them come off as mean and judgmental

they grew up being isolated and villainized by their peers because of it

they began isolating themselves as a counter measure, avoiding people, becoming introverted and lonely and hating attention/being looked at

they develop a deep hatred of "perfection" and people they consider perfect, which includes vil

[velvet4510]

i saw these two people in the tolkien discord server i’m in say this, and while i can see their point (i 100% believe that men should be able to be affectionate without romantic undertones), i just feel like so many people get the wrong idea that samfro shippers merely see them as “gay and cute”

most of us accept all interpretations of their relationship, whether that’s soulmates, queer-platonic, romantic, etc

i was wondering what your opinion on this is??

Great question! SO sorry for the delay in responding. I hope to make my reply worth the wait. Also, this answer will be really long - sorry again - but I have many thoughts on this.

I completely agree that men should be able to be affectionate without it being romantic. Women do not have this problem of fearing open affection due to assumptions about sexuality, and I think it’s a terrible symptom of toxic masculinity for men to forbid themselves from showing affection out of fear of it being misinterpreted. LOTR is full of many beautiful examples of how men can be emotionally vulnerable with each other and how platonic friends can still physically express innocent affection (Aragorn’s kiss to Boromir’s forehead is a great example). Modern society should definitely follow the examples set by these characters.

The thing is, as a straight woman, I did not go into LOTR expecting to see any same-sex romances at all. And the majority of male friendships depicted in the book and films never gave me any sense of romantic undertones. Unlike many fans, I do not ship Legolas and Gimli because I recognize that their relationship is a bridge between Elves and Dwarves, proof that they can get along, that despite their differences, they can still find common ground and respect each other and be friends. This to me is a far more important message than a generic “forbidden romantic love story” that many view their relationship as. Their bond isn’t necessarily about wanting to sleep together, but more about recognizing that they can like and be fond of each other, and not allow their parents or cultures to influence how they view each other. I do not hate the Gigolas ship, of course, and people can feel free to ship them if they want to. But to me, they fall under the category described in the discord that you have shared: their friendly intimacy does not necessarily signify anything romantic. Even their journey into the West together does not have to be a romantic thing; I see it as Gimli not wanting to say goodbye to any more of his friends, after losing Merry, Pippin, and Aragorn, and instead going on one last adventure with his soul-brother Legolas.

Frodo and Sam, however, have always stood out to me as being different from all the other friendships in LOTR. I didn’t even take any pause in the fact that they’re both male. I just saw two people in love. It’s just in how they are written, and in Elijah and Sean’s beautiful performances. I totally agree that ANY interpretation of their relationship is valid. I think it is very wrong for any shipper of these two to insult or declare someone “wrong” to see them as just friends. But it’s the same the other way around. It is unfair for non-shippers to hate on shippers. While the argument regarding Tolkien’s Catholicism is an understandable one, texts and characters do develop lives of their own over time. Texts are meant to be interpreted. Tolkien himself wrote that he did not want to enforce his own beliefs within the story, and instead preferred to leave it open to readers to apply their own views and perspectives to it. He basically was inviting us to make interpretations that deviate from his own. He may not have had sexuality in mind when he wrote this, but if he were alive, I very much doubt he’d be hypocritical enough to criticize people for doing the very thing he encouraged them to do, especially since he was smart enough to know that not every reader of his work was or would be Catholic, and thus may not see certain aspects the way he did.

The main, unchangeable, factual point about Frodo and Sam’s relationship is that they love each other. That’s it. They go from formal master and servant to two people who have been through hell and back together, and in the process, formed a bond that nobody else will ever understand. This point stands, whether their specific feelings for each other are platonic or romantic. To view them as lovers does not take away from or undermine the foundations of how Tolkien shaped their characters and the connection they build.

It also bothers me how those who criticize this ship use the word “gay.” Bear in mind, of course, that I’m not an actual member of the LGBT community, and I’m speaking based on my love for my many LGBT friends and relatives, and the efforts I’ve made to understand and empathize with this community, and to never be among those who hate people based on who they love. But I’ve learned enough by now to know that it is quite ignorant of people to truncate the idea of Frodo and Sam being in love as “they’re gay.” Sam is not gay, as shown by his love for Rosie. To ship Frodo and Sam is not to erase Rosie or pretend Sam doesn’t love her. Sam has the biggest heart of any fictional character I’ve ever seen, and I, like many shippers, don’t find it implausible that he has room enough in that heart to have two great loves.

On that note, I’ll now signify that in the text Frodo and Sam have many moments that no other pair of male characters have, which serve as actual potential evidence of a romance. It says in the text itself that he is “torn in two” between Frodo and Rosie. No other pair of male characters in LOTR has any moment like this. Aragorn does not feel torn between Arwen and his friends, for instance. Sam hesitating to marry Rosie if it means he can’t be near Frodo is a very unique detail that adds weight to this “ship.” Not to mention the way Sam strokes Frodo’s hand in Rivendell and blushes, or calls himself “your Sam,” or has a Romeo-like moment of falsely believing Frodo is dead, or longs for the touch of Frodo’s hand in the Tower of Cirith Ungol. Plus, don’t forget that in another of Tolkien’s writings, Elanor directly compares Sam losing Frodo to Celeborn losing his wife. Also, I and many others have described how Frodo and Sam’s story directly parallels that of two canon lovers, Beren and Lúthien. Again, platonic interpretations of all this are valid, but it’s important to remember that shippers are not making things up. We’re not saying or believing that Frodo and Sam are in love “because they’re cute”. There are many moments between them in the text that support this interpretation, not the least of which is a direct parallel to a canon romantic couple - and without context, many of their exchanges and moments could easily be seen in a romantic light. (Sam watching Frodo sleep and saying “I love him, whether or no,” and declaring his one wish after potentially completing the Quest alone is not to return to the Shire and Rosie, but to return to Frodo’s body and never leave him again … all these things are right there in the text. Merry and Pippin, Legolas and Gimli, Aragorn and Boromir, none of them have any moments like this.)

And Sam’s journey across the Sea does not have nearly as much ambiguity as Gimli’s. Gimli has more to gain by going than staying; to stay would be to be left alone with no family and no more Elves or hobbits around, while to go would be to stand by his best friend, see the woman he loves/deeply admires again (Galadriel), and not face any more goodbyes. He wouldn’t really lose anything by leaving with Legolas, only gain. Sam’s circumstances are completely different. He has many people in the Shire; 13 children and countless grandchildren who could take care of him. He could easily spend his last days peacefully living with Elanor and watching her children grow, as any old hobbit would typically do. To sail West would be to lose and permanently be separated from a countless number of loved ones. And though he was affected by the Ring as a Ring-bearer, he held it for a very brief time, short enough for it to not prevent him from having a normal life after the war. It cannot be easily assumed that the lasting effect of the Ring on him was so powerful that it made him happier to leave his family than to stay with them. Because what would be waiting for him in Valinor? Gimli had two people in Valinor to whom he was very close, Legolas and Galadriel, as opposed to no loved ones back in Middle-earth. But Sam had one person in Valinor to whom he was very close, Frodo, as opposed to dozens of loved ones back in Middle-earth. The fact that he chooses Frodo over his family, to live with Frodo rather than die with and rest beside Rosie, to see Frodo again rather than see his family as much as possible in his remaining days…is a major point worth considering, and another thing that adds a layer of credibility to the idea of shipping them.

So to sum it all up, to say “you just ship Frodo and Sam because you don’t know what friendship is, because you think they’re cute so they must want to sleep together” is a MASSIVE trivialization/oversimplification/misunderstanding and completely ignores the things I’ve just laid out, particularly the distinctions between their relationship and those of other male pairings in LOTR.

Ok, ramble time is over…Boy, I hope that made at least one lick of sense! Haha.

[utilitycaster]

1/2 What I find gets glossed over so much for "pretty lesbians kiss" with regards to Laura and Marisha's characters is that they consistently, across all main campaigns, create characters who really Do Not Understand each other. Like, it's most obvious with Vex and Keyleth (which is why it's so baffling to me how popular that ship is, Vex basically cringes every other time Keyleth opens her mouth and barely tolerates her for the majority of the campaign), but it's clear with Jester and Beau too

2/2 too, especially in regards to their relationships with their respective fathers and also Jester's relationship with Artagan, that they have drastically different viewpoints that aren't really compatible. Anyway, it's somewhat interesting that, while their characters Do Not Understand each other in equal measure across all campaigns, they are outwardly much closer in each subsequent campaign. Do you have any thoughts on this or have had any similar observations regarding this?

Hi anon,

I definitely do have thoughts about this. I don’t think it’s been intentional, per se, that their characters have never been entirely aligned but they’ve become closer (ie, I don’t think that they planned for their characters to be at such odds in Campaign 1, to be friends in Campaign 2, and to be romantically involved in Campaign 3). I also should note that while I agree that Vex/Keyleth is a uniquely terrible ship that deeply misunderstands both characters; and while I vastly prefer both Beauyasha and Fjorester to even a hypothetical in which Beau and Jester took the time to understand each other and a believable and compelling romance could conceivably develop, I do actually enjoy both of those as non-romantic dynamics very much. Part of the problem with Imogen and Laudna is that, at least thus far, the problems with it as a romantic relationship are the exact same problems with it as a platonic relationship. It's flat and uninteresting no matter how you slice it.

As for why this has happened: I think Marisha and Laura’s chemistry with each other as scene partners is unexceptional among the cast. That doesn’t mean it’s bad - everyone in the cast has baseline good chemistry - but it has never stood out to me. Like, I have never personally had strong feelings about any romantic ships between Laura and Sam’s characters, but they do often occupy similar thematic spaces (selfishness/selflessness; a desire to be liked vs. a desire to be yourself) and I have always enjoyed how they’ve played off each other and looked forward to it, and I don't feel the same about Laura and Marisha. While it’s hard to pin a theme on Laudna (more on that later), Beau and Keyleth (and for that matter Patia) all engage with the expectations of one’s family, and that doesn’t have a natural “in” with what Laura usually does (or vice versa). I will also note: many of the best scenes between Laura and Marisha’s characters, and that includes in Campaign 3, have been arguments. The gnarlrock stands out as one of the only interesting Imogen and Laudna interactions (as well as, to be honest, one of the only interesting Laudna and Delilah interactions); Vex yelling at Keyleth in episode 1x45 is one of my favorite scenes in the campaign; and when I think of Beau and Jester I think of Beau’s irritation as Jester gushes about the plot of Tusk Love, and their quietly growing distance due to the disagreements you brought up about Artagan and their fathers (while still remaining good friends, just ones who don’t agree on everything and don’t need to) in the latter half of the campaign. The lack of conflict between Imogen and Laudna is not just uninteresting from the general grade school premise of "stories need conflict"; it's also depriving them of their strongest source of chemistry as actors.

As for why it’s so widely shipped across all three campaigns; I really suspect a major factor is simply that Ashley was frequently absent so this was the only F/F PC/PC option, week to week. There really is no other good explanation for Vex and Keyleth, a couple so terribly unsuited it verges on the dynamic of a 90s straight sitcom of a man who hates his hot wife. I used to be more generous towards that (ie, wanting an F/F ship between PCs even though it had no redeeming qualities other than being an F/F ship between PCs), but my patience for anyone claiming the cover of Campaign 1 norms ran out some time ago; we’ve been living in a fandom environment that overshot in trying to correct for the assholes during C1 for far too long.

Anyway: I don’t know why exactly things fall so flat in Campaign 3, in the sense that these characters were, as far we know, supposed to be designed as friends. I don’t want to keep harping on it but given Laudna’s directionlessness I wonder if that lack of lived-in backstory extends to their time together. At the very least, if they did plan out what those two years looked like in any depth, it has not come through in the story, either through their words or to an extent their acting. The relationship really only makes sense as mutual security blankets; but I don’t find that remotely interesting. Which brings me to the final points.

I’ve been trying to tread carefully around the term “roving slash” not in the least because I think it unfairly condemns queer relationships after quite literally centuries of mediocre and tacked-on M/F relationships that occur simply because one is a man and one is a woman and not because there’s any romantic tension or reason for them to see something in the other. With that said, I’ve found that there’s a lot of fandom popular F/F pairings that fit a very specific mold of each other being the only one who understands the other - but in a bland and flawless way, as victims of circumstance who expect nothing of each other except to be there, and not as people who can uniquely relate to each other’s flaws. It is an idea of romance as something without conflict. [I will note as an aside, however, that this idea often exists simultaneously with the incompatible desire to tell queer stories based in oppression. There can't be any stated desire from these fans for conflict for the characters, internal or external; but I also think that they secretly want some third character to represent a nebulous, problematic force. For all the hate piled upon, say, Percy in his interactions with Keyleth, or the current wave of hate towards Orym, I think they want those characters so there is something to demonize and to further set apart how pure and wronged their ship or their favorite character is; and, as always, to take away the agency - which comes with responsibility, which comes with fault - from women.]

I can’t stand that. As others have recently put better than I could (and we’re talking Cronenberg and Tolstoy here), stories need conflict, and the fandom culture of characters being effortlessly good, and going from traumatized to completely unchallenged, and endless softness is unbearably dull to me. Even things claimed to be held in the highest regard, like recovery, must hit the most pinprick target by fans with this mindset and anything else is a failure. It’s exhausting. For Imogen and Laudna’s relationship specifically, I’ve found that the repeated comparisons of past Laura Bailey Character Romances - both of which are my favorites for their respective campaigns - really puts the flaccidness in her Campaign 3 romance in stark relief. With Percy and Vex, there is a sense that if he does not take the mask off when she calls him darling, it will close a door. I also don’t think it’s a coincidence that they only come together romantically after she has faced some of her own inner darkness with Saundor, and he has defeated Orthax and the party has helped kill Ripley. Similarly, with Fjord and Jester, when Jester asks “would you do anything to get them [his Uk’otoa-granted powers] back?”, there is a palpable sense that were he to have answered “yes”, it would have meant something. And they, too, only commit to a romance once Fjord has done all he can to sever his ties to Uk’otoa, and Jester has begun to slowly explore expressing negative emotions. To compare it to Imogen and Laudna’s noncommittal total lack of narrative tension (maybe we should harness it! Maybe we shouldn’t! Doesn’t really matter because we’ve stated there’s zero stakes either way!) just accentuates the Mariana Trench-level drop in quality.

That digresses a lot from your original question, and so I think what I want to get at is that I have shared these observations. However, I feel that the characters’ differences were well-handled in prior campaigns and felt organic and interesting. I don’t know why it’s so lacking in Campaign 3 and I don’t think my speculation here would be helpful to any argument; I just know that it is exceptional only in its dullness.

[kerrikins]

I think that the general discourse with DFF and victim blaming Non and villanizing Jin etc. is because the show deals with a lot of grey areas and dubious morality and also with heavy stuff. Not everyone is able to comprehend that not everything is black and white. And I think everyone who watches it will choose the ultimate "villain" who triggers them the most. Be it either the mafia, teacher, Jin, Phee or someone else. But for me, it was the Non's parents. While watching them argue and compare their two sons, I was so angry and ill from watching them. I wanted to beat them so hard for that.

Oh, I think that you are absolutely right and it's one of the things that's been frustrating me a lot about the conversations about this show.

It's funny that you mention Non's parents because I actually think that of all the characters on the show, they are among the ones who are actually painted as villains. They are weak and don't defend Non, they are abusive to him and to each other, they favour New, etc, etc. They haven't really been given any 'good' moments at all thus far, and neither has Tee's uncle. These characters definitely fit quite nicely into the 'villain' box.

But outside of them and Tee's uncle - and Keng, of course - very few characters on the show are actually being painted as villains, imo, yet people are determined to paint them as such.

I understand it, but at the same time I'm a bit troubled because while everyone seems to remember that Non is a child, few seem to remember that the OTHERS are also children.

There is a reason that in most countries, children are handled differently by the justice system. They haven't finished developing mentally and are still learning. Generally, society does not go 'no, you are now forever labelled a bad and evil person and you deserve to die' when they fuck up and make mistakes, even if those mistakes have severe consequences.

Beyond that, I just find the discussions to be very black and white. For example, Phee is by and large viewed as a hero of the show, when he's done some terrible things himself. Jin is viewed as one of the villains - maybe even the main one - when he DID try to protect Non on several occasions. Both of them are being put into little boxes by the fandom.

I've also noticed that people react poorly to any attempt to understand any of the five friends. It kind of makes me a bit sad because all of the nuance and shades of grey have been put there deliberately for us to discuss and appreciate, and I don't think it does the writers or the characters justice to reduce them down to 'good' or 'bad'. Like to me it makes all of them more compelling to look at them as humans making bad decisions and doing bad things due to reasons I can empathize with rather than just 'no they are evil and that's why they did this'.

Honestly I can see the show proceeding down a few different paths from here, but I kind of hope that it's a more interesting one than just pure revenge. I kind of want the show to lean on these messages a bit more rather than just sticking to 'hero good, villain bad'.

[copiouscouples]

Random Thoughts on the First 3 Episodes of Grease: Rise of the Pink Ladies

This is a FUN show.

So far I’ve liked all the music. I didn’t think I was going to like the song about the country club but darn it if I wasn’t like this is a catchy song about how terrible you all are. 🤣

I’m loving the increase in diversity that’s going on in general in tv world (although I’d love to see more characters with disabilities in media, but we’re getting more than we used to with shows like Speechless and As We See It).

That said...I think there’s two ways to handle diversity successfully in historical fiction. 1) Go the Bridgerton route - mention it, but don’t make it a major theme. 2) Make it a major theme and handle it satisfactorily - either in a realistic way or in a way that gets resolved suitably.

In these first episodes, a major theme has been Jane and her family acclimating to Rydell and community. Her mom specifically has worries about it being found out that she’s Puerto Rican. I feel like this is very period typical and an accurate representation as frustrating as it is to watch someone who doesn’t feel free to accept and rejoice in their cultural heritage. I love that Jane wants to fight back against all that, but in the last episode - I was kind of disappointed how the whole thing got resolved. She sings a song in the diner and bada bing, bada boom her mom's suddenly OK with it all. Felt a bit quick and sloppy of a fix. But this show is about Jane and not her mom’s trauma. Overall, it’s not a big deal for me. I just was slightly irked by the sloppiness of the resolution.

Olivia - The most intriguing of the Pink Ladies so far for me. We’ve got a sliver of her backstory with the teacher, but outside of that we don’t know much about her yet. Plus I want to know was she in a full on relationship with this guy or did they kiss that once and got caught?

Nancy - Another character we need more info on. I like her general don’t give an F attitude, but I’d love to see more of her deeper thoughts and emotions. We’ve got a hint at that with how much she deeply cares about college and getting into fashion, but I’d like more.

Jane - This actress is my favorite singer on the show. Her “I Want More” song is my favorite song thus far. I know she’s the main character and that’s why we know more about her. But honestly she’s not all that interesting and I wish some of her screen time was given to the other girls.

Cynthia - She had a good storyline this episode. I felt it was a bit rushed, but I think drama is a great fit for this character and Principal McGee knew exactly what she was doing.

Hazel - She was introduced this episode and we got to know a little bit about her. I do feel for her and how homesick she is. I have and always will be here for the wallflower/shy girl trope.

Richie - Things are still kind of surface level with him, but right now he’s kind of a meh character for me. I like him well enough but the show’s writing hasn’t really developed him enough for me to care about him yet.

Buddy - Likely unpopular opinion here...I don’t hate him? At least not yet. I think he’s treated Jane terribly, but I see redemptive qualities in him. The fact he feels guilt, has some sense of self-reflection, and is uncomfortable with his choices shows me we could be in for a good character arc with him.

So that end scene, right? Totally seems to be foreshadowing a Hazel/Buddy romance. How would I feel if they went down that route? It depends on the chemistry of the couple. In fictional TV land, I can excuse a lot of misbehavior (even murder) if the couple is 🔥. Rio and Beth, anyone? That was a toxic dump of a relationship but watch me with my 👀 glued every week.

This show is very much love it or hate it. I think the people that are hating on it were hoping it would be an extension of the original Grease and while it gives nods to the original content - it’s its own entity.

[xxneilserr]

Im really brainrotting my fnaf AU that takes place in the fnaf 2 pizzeria! My headcanons so far!!;

Toy bonnie and Bonnie are together, start out not on good terms but eventually learn they have a lot in common and really like each other.

Toy bonnie and Toy freddy are exes, it was mutual but toy freddy still has some unrequited feelings for BonBon.

Toy freddy is a TERRIBLE singer, like truly awful. Bonbon was meant to be the singer but management thought it would be too confusing for customers. Toy freddys Singing Voicebank is muted during preforming hours.

The withered animatronics are kept as mentors and used for parts and really nothing more. They start out dispising the toy animatronics for this. Eventually, BonBon asks management to allow them to roam the building as long as they keep it quiet and dont disturb anybody.

The Withered animatronics are not on very good terms, they will tolerate each other but if they dont have to talk to one another they won’t. They may have small talk but that’s it.

Toy bonnie and Toy Chica are BESTIES.

Foxy and Balloon Boy have a Father-Son/Guardian-Child dynamic.

Mangle chooses to be a puzzle for the kids and enjoys the creativity and attention.

The puppet is very quiet and doesn’t get along with anyone really. They are most friendly to children and human staff but that’s about it.

Withered Bonnie was somewhat a player at their old location, thus why the withereds can’t get along very well. He has since tried to make ammends to no avail.

This isnt everything but its everything i could think off the top of my head!

IMPORTANT NOTE:

In my AU, none of the animatronics are possessed and are simply sentient robots. When i reference characters I find attractive or mention dynamics, i will NEVER be referencing the Canon storyline. I will always be referring to collective au’s and animatronic personalities developed by the fandom, NEVER the canon. Thank you! 🩵💜