#tends to create two expectations of a woman

[velmiraa]

Synastry Notes-II

Disclaimer: These are just my observations. If they don't resonate with you, simply read and move on. Additionally, most of what I’m saying here is based on straight relationship patterns. That’s because, in my experience, certain planets and points (like Mars, Venus, Eros, etc.) tend to act a bit differently depending on whether they show up in charts for women or men. That being said, the astro tea can still apply across all kinds of dynamics—it just might look a little different depending on the people involved. Let's start then!

Juno-Moon conjunctions usually point to marriage. Doesn’t really matter if it’s the guy or the girl who has Juno. Even if the conjunction is up to 8 degrees apart, it still seems to count. Honestly, sometimes just having Juno and the Moon in the same sign is enough. I don’t get why some people insist it has to be under 5 degrees…

I also notice Lilith conjunctions show up a lot in long-term relationships. People have a hard time letting go of that Lilith person. But it needs to go both ways—if both people have Lilith connections with each other, it works. If only one person does, it usually turns into a one-sided obsession.

One more big thing for lasting relationships: positive Saturn aspects in synastry. Especially Venus-Saturn. Those can make things last way longer than you’d expect. But here’s the catch—if the Saturn aspects are only positive, it can start to feel like you’re stuck in the relationship. Like, even if it’s time to move on, it’s hard to let go. That’s why it’s actually better to have a mix of good and bad Saturn aspects. But yeah, more good than bad if you want to stay together and not lose your mind.

Chiron-Mars conjunction sucks—especially if the guy is the Mars person. You know how women usually expect the guy to take action or make moves? Yeah, well, when the woman’s Chiron is conjunct the guy’s Mars, his actions—or lack of action—tend to hurt her a lot. And when the guy gets angry, the woman will get hurt a lot by his actions/lack of actions during the fight. Great times.

Sun-Venus aspects in synastry are super important in relationships. It’s better if the aspect is a positive one. Also, progressed charts count too—but just for a limited time. Once the conjunction vibe fades, so does the magic. And in progressed synastry, keep the orb tight—3 degrees max. Here’s a an example: say your partner’s progressed Venus is conjunct your natal Sun. That means their taste, what they find beautiful, and what they’re drawn to... it all lines up with you. Like, you’re literally their type. In this dynamic, the Sun person (aka you, probably) kinda takes the lead, and Venus is like “yes king, shine your light.”

When Mars and Sun conjunct in synastry, it’s hot—but if the woman is the Mars person? It’s like she sees the guy and thinks, “Yes. Him.” And everyone else is like, “...Really?” lol She’s drawn to his core vibe, his essence.

Asteroids are often underrated when it comes to synastry, but honestly? Eros and Psyche aspects hit different. Especially when Eros is the guy and Psyche is the girl. It’s giving “the body finds its soul” energy. When these two connect in a positive way—like a sextile, trine, or even a conjunction—it creates this deep, almost spiritual bond. Personally, I’ve only experienced the sextile, and even that felt more meaningful than any of my other relationships. I can’t even imagine what the trine or conjunction would feel like. Couples who have these aspects are very lucky.

When Saturn and Moon connect in a positive way, it’s like emotional stability enters the chat. Saturn, the responsible one, steps in and says, “I got you,” and Moon believes it. Saturn brings that “I’m not going anywhere” energy, and the Moon loves that. This is seriously one of those aspects that helps a relationship stay solid when things get messy.

12th house Venus experience is interesting. It’s always like “Does that person like me or not?”. You cannot be sure about their true feelings towards you. Even when they try to show affection, it just creates more confusion. You’ll be sitting there like, “Okay… he brought me coffee… but does that mean he loves me? Or is he just polite? Or is this coffee a metaphor for rejection?” Lol That person can’t show you his love to you in a clear way. Either you just feel that they love you deep down… or you’ll never fully get it on a conscious level.

If you’ve got your South Node sitting in the 7th house and someone’s personal planets conjunct it… buckle up. That person is gonna feel like home, a soft hoodie for your soul. It’s so cozy and familiar. Letting go of them? Not happening. At least not in your mind. You might know it's not perfect or even healthy, but the connection hits that nostalgic part of your brain that makes you think, “They came back for me. Like we planned.”

That's it for today, guys! Hope you like it, see ya!

Copyright © [velmiraa], edited by me.

[spilledartery]

loveless union . . . ( kunikuzushi )

[ male reader, noble / clan ! au, angst, unrequited love, sex, cheating ( ? ), implied trans kuni, pregnancy – i need to feed my breeding kink, please bare with me. fujoshis, mlm fetishizers, dni. ]

it was an arranged marriage. neither you nor kunikuzushi wanted this, but since your clan was indebted to his clan, your parents had just proposed you to be married to the raiden heir. it was shocking how the heir’s mother, ei, agreed, given how she was the one who casted demise upon your clan.

the wedding ceremony came and went, and so did the past couple of years. kunikuzushi was harsh, he didn’t want this – he was forced to sever his ties with his ( secret ) lover from the kaedehara clan, he was forced to marry someone he never loved; you.

you never loved him, too, but, ever the gentleman you are, you treated him with care and respect. when he was sick, you’d tend to him, you would compliment him, you would never talk bad about him. despite his opposite treatment of you, you understand. neither of you wanted this.

it was easy to fool your families, too. whenever yours and his parents are on the same table, you and kunikuzushi would act the star-crossed lovers, making them believe that you’d learned how to love each other.

the two of you would laugh, stare at each other lovingly, hold each other’s hands, lean closer to whisper something in each other’s ears – even ei couldn’t help but watch fondly; you were taking good care of each other.

“the both of you aren’t getting any younger,” your mother gushed, somehow confident to talk, despite being in the same table of her rival woman. she took a sip of wine, sending you and kunikuzushi knowing looks. “when are you both supposed to bring forth your heirs, hm?”

beside you, kunikuzushi tensed, and you couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. you understand, you always do.

your darling husband masked his true feelings with a seemingly shy smile. “oh,” he said, glancing at you with a soft look. “we... have been trying.”

you saw through those eyes, and you acted along. “my beloved is right, mother.” you took the boy’s hand and pressed a kiss on his knuckles. “it may take a while, but there will surely be little us’ running around the manor soon enough.”

“we will be expecting,” came the unreadable tone of kunikuzushi’s mother.

the next few months came by, and you and your husband are walking around the festivities. there were stalls, bustling vendors calling for the consumers’ attention. you two played the part of a married couple: you held hands, wrapped your arm around his waist, pressed close to each other – no one suspects a thing.

until you and kunikuzushi saw a certain boy with white hair and a red streak, he was staring at your husband. ah, it seems like they still have their affair going on, and you felt your heart shatter, just for a bit. you look down at kunikuzushi, who was in your arms, but looked longingly at his lover, the one he truly loved.

you let go of him. and he just looked up at you with hidden gratefulness, and rushed towards the kaedehara.

kunikuzushi didn’t return to your shared bed that night.

you understand, truly, you do. it was a good thing you stopped yourself on the brink of falling in love with him. you two may be married, but that didn’t mean you were meant for each other. you understand.

even now as you entered his body, after a week of the festival, of him with the kaedehara, you understand that the pleasure placed upon you is nothing but an obligation, a responsibility. it was to appease your families – to create an heir. even as you held kunikuzushi’s hand delicately as you pushed further into him, you knew that this union isn’t genuine.

you merely placed a kiss on his cheek as he reached his orgasm, and while you emptied inside of him, you murmured sweet nothings into his ear to calm him down after his high. and when he fell asleep without so much as a reply to you, you cleaned him and covered his naked body with the covers. you turned your body away from him, after – you know he wouldn’t be happy if he saw himself against your chest in the morning.

it was into six weeks when he began showing symptoms. kunikuzushi was nauseous, he continuously complained that his stomach was aching, and when you both talked to a trusted mage, they confirmed that you and kunikuzushi are expecting an heir.

you took good care of him. whenever something is aching, his shoulders, his feet, you would wordlessly massage him, you would bring him tea, knowing he loves bitterness; you played the part of being his husband, being a to-be father.

it was two months to his pregnancy that he felt his heart skipping a beat whenever you’re near. kunikuzushi told himself that he’d never feel something for you, he swore not to – but he couldn’t help it, not when you were taking such good care of him despite his attitude towards you. you never complained, never voiced out any discontent nor did you scowl at him when he always sent you a piercing glare.

perhaps, now, as your own family is beginning to grow, he could finally return the treatment you deserved from him, as his spouse.

it was strange when he began snuggling with you when you both went to sleep, when he began kissing your cheek, pecking your lips, smiling at you – it sent a small spark in your heart, but you don’t understand. is this because he’s only pregnant? he does not only crave for strange combinations of food, but also company? well, you still played along. you cared for him.

though it was unfortunate that during this time, you had to leave for mondstadt to attend some meeting – about creating allegiance there and whatnot. it was surprising that kunikuzushi kissed you passionately before you board the ship. you kissed him back just as fiercely, but you know it was merely for show because people are around; they wouldn’t want to see a supposed married couple being cold and distant to each other, especially when the spouse is to leave for many nights.

but what kunikuzushi wasn’t prepared for was the change of your demeanor when you came back. it wasn’t a bad change, but one that slowly broke kunikuzushi’s heart.

he was heavily pregnant, and he wore a robe too big to cover the bump in his belly – the bulge was still visible, but not much. kunikuzushi greeted you with a kiss on your cheek when you came home, asking how was your stay, if it was successful... though you answered these questions diligently, something was amiss.

no longer did you gaze warmly at him, but you became more distracted. you still cared for him, yes – but, now, kunikuzushi thinks it’s merely an obligation, nothing more, nothing less. your touches were more genuine then, now, it lacks those. when he kisses you, it was you who would pull away first and just kiss his forehead before turning away from him.

what had happened?

sometimes, he’d watch you write down on a parchment. it became a normal occurrence now. who were you writing for, he never asked. when you receive letters, he’d watch you smile – that smile that was once directed at him, but now it was more honest, like the reason for it was deeper.

he knew he shouldn’t be doing this, invading your privacy. you were asleep, and he walked to the dresser where you kept all the letters you’d been receiving. kunikuzushi subconsciously placed his hand on his baby bump as he unfolded a paper and read.

ah.

it seems you’d found someone who piqued you interest while you were in mondstadt. the way this person wrote to you was far from being friendly. it was as if...

kunikuzushi wiped a tear that fell from his eye. a couple more flowed through his cheeks, though, and he didn’t care wipe them anymore.

had he been too late love you? was it too late for you to love him?

reminiscing of the times when he treated you harshly, when he talked so bad about you, when he disregarded your opinions, when he rolled his eyes at your compliments, when he felt disgusted whenever you kiss his knuckles... perhaps, he does deserve this, and perhaps you’ve finally found someone you loved outside the marriage, as he had been with his affair with the kaedehara before. he deserves this.

kunikuzushi understands.

[pascaloverx]

HAUNTED

Summary: You awaken from a two-year coma to find that Detective Lois has been eagerly awaiting your recovery, believing you might have witnessed something crucial to catching a serial killer. What you didn’t expect is to learn that she suspects your doctor of being the murderer—and even more shockingly, it appears that you are married to him. Now, you must uncover your lost memories and find out who Charlie Mayhew truly is to you.

Author's Note: Yes, I'm writing another fanfic featuring Nicholas Alexander Chavez’s character from Grotesquerie. The characters belong to the universe created by Ryan Murphy in the series Grotesquerie (2024). This fanfic will include violence, strong language, and adult content. It will portray the character Charlie Mayhew as a doctor. I hope you enjoy the fanfic, but there's nothing certain about its future. If there's no interest, unfortunately, I will be abandoning the idea.

AO3 LINK ONE

© credits for the owners of the pictures used. they don't belong to me. credit is not mine for the pictures.

PREVIEW

Strange noises surround you, and the brightness stings your eyes, but you want to wake up. In the distance, you hear a woman shouting for a nurse to come help. Is she a relative? A friend? You wish you knew. You feel connected to machines, surrounded by tubes, which nearly makes you gag. “Don’t pull on any of the wires attached to you. A nurse will be here to help you. My name is Lois Tryon. Detective Lois Tryon.” The woman speaks, trying to sound gentle but coming off as forced. She smells of cigarettes and alcohol. You remain silent, motionless. You don’t want to die—even though you don’t even know who you are.

"How long have I been here, Detective Tryon?" you murmur with some difficulty. There might be other important questions, but right now, this is the only one you need answered.

"About two years," she says, sounding almost excited about your recovery. A medical team enters your hospital room, adjusting and checking your body as if you were a doll—a sensation that’s starting to make you feel nauseous. The detective vanishes amidst the medical team as they check your reflexes, vital signs, temperature, and run several other clinical tests that will apparently tell them how you’ve woken up and if you’re truly all right.

Everything felt so secretive, with nurses whispering as if you couldn’t hear them. Two doctors were even debating whether they should tell you something or not. They decided to wait for Dr. Mayhew, whoever he might be. After a while, you drifted off to sleep, still waiting for them to explain what was going on. You had the same dream as before—a strikingly attractive man dressed as a priest making you kneel, asking for forgiveness for some unnamed sin. What stood out was how he always touched your face gently, saying that if you truly sought forgiveness for what you had done, you would have to accept your punishment. Then you would start taking off your clothes for him. The man dressed as a priest would then put you between his legs and spank you. He used to ask if you would be a good girl for him, and when you answered; he would whisper to you to take responsibility for what you did. And then you found yourself surrounded by blood and corpses, like a nightmare.

This time, you opened your eyes, letting out an almost desperate cry. There are fewer tubes attached to you, fewer wires surrounding you. There’s also a doctor—a different one from those who tended to you before. He’s lying back, asleep in a chair that doesn’t look at all comfortable. You wonder if it’s common for doctors to fall asleep beside their patients or if you’re getting special treatment due to the time you’ve been unconscious. The doctor is strikingly handsome. He looks exhausted, with dark circles under his eyes and his breathing deep and steady. Perhaps that’s why he didn’t wake at your cry.

You try to get up, nearly falling back at the sudden motion, but on the second attempt, you manage with some difficulty. Unsteady, you grab one of the spare blankets at the foot of your hospital bed and gently drape it over him. But there’s something peculiar—you feel as if you’ve seen him before. You move closer, laying your fingers lightly on the warm skin of his hand. His hair falls messily over his face, obscuring your view. Then you recognize him: the slightly wicked priest from your dreams, too alluring to be a saint, who meted out your penance. Yet something within you stirs, as if he holds a deeper meaning, something that seduces and captivates you. You touch the scar on his forehead, feeling a surge of electricity ripple through your body.

Then he grasps your hand, pulling you down onto his lap, where you land anyway. You’re silent for a moment, staring at him. “You used to brush my hair away from my face whenever you wanted to tell me something embarrassing,” he says, his voice close to yours, a sly smile playing on his lips as he settles you in his lap. “You’d say that if you focused on my scar, you wouldn’t feel so shy talking to me.” You’re surprised, but you don’t move. Something about being close to him feels familiar, leaving your body unresponsive in his presence.

“I imagine you don’t speak like that to all your patients, Doctor…” you say, trying to keep a serious tone as you study the face of the man whose lap you’re seated on. He chuckles, clearly amused. “Dr. Mayhew to some, Charlie to others. But to you, I’m husband.”

The words startle you, and you jump off his lap, steadying yourself on the hospital bed. “I’m sorry, what did you just say?” you ask, bewildered. You’re married?

“I know this might be difficult to understand, but we are married. Don’t feel pressured to remember—it’s all right…” he murmurs, rising from the chair and moving toward you. His calm tone, almost as if he’s trying to make you feel safe, is surprisingly comforting. Your gaze falls to his hands as they reach out to you, but you instinctively move to the opposite side of the bed.

“I’m sorry, but there must be some mistake. You can’t be married to me. Your face looks like it stepped right out of a magazine. I can barely believe you’re a doctor, let alone my husband. If this is a joke, know that it’s unfair to mock someone who doesn’t even know her own name,” you say, sounding slightly indignant. But honestly, what are the odds he’s really your husband?

Dr. Mayhew laughs, a sound both frustrated and enchanted. He runs a hand through his hair as if searching for patience. “It’s funny you’d say that. When we first met, you called me a ‘Ken wannabe.’ Later, you swore you hadn’t fallen for me because of my looks. When you remember that, I’ll be sure to remind you of it,” he says, his gaze deep and searching, as if his eyes are speaking more than his words.

“If you’re my husband, then tell me something only you would know about me!” you exclaim before he can come any closer. Your hands are trembling—whether from the intensity of his stare or some other reason, you’re not sure.

"You like to fuck when you're stressed, usually you prefer me to fuck you from behind but when you're pissed off, you bounce on me like there's no tomorrow. You don't like to feel pressure so I personally think you married me not because I'm handsome but because I let you be in charge. When I asked you to marry me, you broke up with me. You thought I was rushing things, and you couldn't stand the idea of not being able to give me children. You had two cats when you were younger and you named them 'Beelzebub' and 'Crowley' because your mother was very religious and you never liked her." He seems sincere, even if he's embarrassing you on purpose. It's obvious from the way he talks about your sex life, which you can't even confirm.

“Hold on, Doctor. We both know the sexual details were unnecessary. If I can’t remember other parts of my life, am I really going to remember what our… sex life was like?” you say, feeling your cheeks flush with embarrassment. Your hands are beginning to sweat, but you don’t break eye contact with Dr. Mayhew.

“Actually, of all the details I’ve shared, those are the only ones we can test right now,” he says, closing in on you with surprising speed. His gaze is fixed on you, predatory and intent, as though you’re his prey. Strangely, you feel no embarrassment—just a stirring curiosity to uncover this for yourself.

“Do you often suggest casually sleeping with your patients? We are in your workplace, after all,” you say, feigning reprimand, though part of you wonders if he’s ever done this here before.

“I only suggest it to those who are married to me. And honestly,” he says, drawing closer to you, his voice dropping to a whisper, “we’ve done far worse in both our workplaces.” He nods between himself and you, hinting at shared memories. There’s a tension in the air, something almost tangible. You swallow hard, unsure why his closeness doesn’t make you uncomfortable—but rather feels strangely familiar.

“You sound extremely dangerous saying things like that,” you murmur, holding Dr. Mayhew’s gaze as if daring him. For a moment, you think he might close the distance and kiss you—a thought that leaves you unsettled. How should you respond? You’re not even sure if you believe he’s really your husband.

“You were always one to take risks; has amnesia made you forget your true nature?” His fingers trace lightly along your arm, his gaze heavy with desire. He clearly wants you, yet that alone proves nothing. Whoever you once were, in this moment, you feel as though you’re standing bare before him.

"I hope I’m not interrupting the happy couple, but I heard Mrs. Mayhew was awake. I thought I’d finally come to speak with my most anticipated witness. I’ve waited two years for this conversation,” Detective Lois Tryon stands in the doorway of your hospital room, a victorious smile on her face. Dr. Mayhew doesn’t look pleased to see her there. They exchange a tense look, while you remain close to him, caught between their silent standoff.

“I don’t believe it’s appropriate to question my wife mere hours after she’s woken from a two-year coma,” Dr. Mayhew says, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you close. “I’m sure you’re aware of her memory issues, Detective Tryon. It would be courteous of you to give her a moment to adjust.” You’re taken aback but stay pressed against his well-defined frame, momentarily wondering if he’s a doctor or a bodybuilder.

“It’s no surprise you don’t think it’s appropriate for me to question your wife,” Detective Tryon replies, her tone laced with sharpness. “I would have to reveal to her that her husband is a primary suspect in a series of murders. That he’s so determined to evade justice he might’ve orchestrated the accident that left her comatose. And that he’s been having an affair with the lead investigator of this case—while she’s been unconscious.” Mayhew tenses, a flicker of fury crossing his face as he grips your waist tighter. You watch as his features contort slightly, weighing the situation. You can’t help but wonder if you’re witnessing an innocent man being falsely accused or a guilty man feeling the noose tighten. For some reason, this only heightens your intrigue in him.

[siddyyyyyyyy]

Past Careers

pairing: Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne (seperate) summary: They find about your past career as a dancer. warnings: fem!reader, slightly suggestive theme, (fluff), no y/n used a/n: sorry about my inactiveness again, my apartment almost burned down last night, but at least i got two weeks off! sorry about any errors, enjoy!

⁛ DICK GRAYSON

It was a total accident. He trusts you as a teammate and coworker in the vigilante field, but something about snooping in your files and digital footprint was so intriguing to him. You tend to keep to yourself most of the time, ignoring his playful remarks, and more or less funny quips. He doesn‘t know much about you, and he won‘t ask personal questions since he should learn to mind his business (that‘s what you told him). Despite his dying need to get to know you better, he won‘t let himself look into your life or vigilante career more closely.

Still, that‘s clearly not what happened this night at patrol. Once he got his hands on his device, he couldn‘t help himself and searched you up. Or rather, your files and somehow got his hands on your birth certificate, which made him learn your real name.

Without further waiting and a lot of guilty doubts, he searched and looked up stuff with your real name. Dick found himself a comfortable spot by a fire escape, sitting at one of the stairs with a his tablet in his hands. The bright screen illuminated his face, his eyes intently studying the images before him, under his mask. His eyebrows shot up once he discovers a video, the caption being ‘Dirty Dancing in [ ] Club. Fire Show!‘. Of course he had to click on it, even if it was a possible scam, or something completely unrelated to you.

A typical jazz tune comes form the small speakers of his tablet, the camera being directed at the stage. The lights are low, creating a cozy atmosphere around the supposed club.

The spotlight focuses on the woman stepping on the stage, her steps confident, yet secretive. Her steps are in sync to the Jazz band, as she slowly removes her fluffy coat, teasing the crowd with her movements. Even Dick has to shift on the fireescape, keeping his attention to the video.

There‘s no way this is his actual coworker, who he sees almost every night on patrol. Clearing his throat, he continues to thoroughly study the video.

The dancer surprises the crowd once she throws her coat away to the side, the poor speakers of his tablet almost explode as the audience cheers and whistles, making him lower the volume. Now, you pose for the audience, your outfit not just revealing, but also gorgeous. It sparkles in the spotlight, hugging your curves perfectly and leaving little to imagination.

Dick feels his brain short-circuting for a second, having to process what he sees before him.

»I hated that song.«

He flinches, almost throwing his tablet away as he yelps from the sudden voice beside him. You keep your eyes on Nightwing, staying leaned against the railing of the fire escape.

»Oh, hey… fancy seeing you. I was just—« He visibly pauses and looks back down at his tablet before meeting your eyes again. »That‘s you?«

Finally, with a soft sigh, you nod and expect any kind of reaction from him. Either disgust, disappointment, confusion, but definitely not fascination.

He starts to give you a thorough review of your perfomance, although it mostly consists of compliments and questions, such as ‘Why did you never tell me?‘, or ‘How long? Can you tell me more?‘. You were in for a ride.

But he sure knows he found another thing he likes about you, except your skills in combat and ability to keep calm in almost every situation.

⁛ JASON TODD

He wasn‘t one to pry or be curious about ones personal life, especially when it comes to other vigilantes around his area. Sure, he tends to do check ups and make sure nothing is falling apart, but that‘s the most he does. Besides, you are one of the few he trusts the most about work. You both team up on missions, or patrol together regularly, and also have a similar kind of humor. Jason is glad you don‘t ask for more and also tend to be more private about other stuff, besides work.

It‘s not until one evening, he takes up on a usual research about another case, before he stumbles upon suspicious looking files. Surely, a small distraction won‘t hurt. He clicks on it, getting sent to another site with several files, which he soon learns, are personal information about certain vigilantes. He found the source of the current problem, but now he is growing curious as well.

Your vigilante name is on this list, and he wouldn‘t want your identity to be leaked so carelessly. Finally, he clicks on it and finds himself reading through important and sensitive information about you. Your name, address, family— hell, even your career choice before this.

He can‘t help himself, but look through it and eventually check on your past careers. The first few were normal, a waitress, barista, even working at walmart, but ‘professional dancer‘ wasn‘t what he was expecting. Luckily, there are a few videos attached.

Jason‘s hand almost crushes his mouse at the table as he takes in the rather seductive, yet slow movements of your body in that revealing outfit. After a minute in, he pauses the video and stands off his chair to pace a few circles around his room.

Eventually, he sits back on his chair and makes sure to get rid of all these accessible information, protecting your identity and others.

There‘s no way he‘ll approach this subject with you. Unless he is drunk, or completely sleep deprived, which makes his brain and mouth go loose. But surely, none of these will happen soon enough.

⁛ BRUCE WAYNE

He was simply making sure you are a trust worthy person, like he did with every other vigilante he knows and works with. It helped him prevent accidents happen, and keep himself safer that way.

As he reades over your files, he‘s gathered nothing much but your harmless appearance and rather normal life— compared to most others. He didn‘t consider looking into your past careers, until his growing curiousity got the better out of him. The list was rather short, just a couple average jobs most people did at least once in their lifetime, until the last one made him blink a few times.

‘Professional dancer‘?

Sure, it‘s nothing bad, or negative, but it still made him question it more than the others. What kind of dancing did you do? Soon enough, he found some clips of your perfomances across the internet. Some captions were questionable, but he still wanted to take a look at it.

There‘s was the quiet music playing from the speakers, he made sure to keep it low. It looked promising, it didn‘t look cheap, but it didn‘t look too professional either. The stage made it clear that the location was most likely at a bar. Bruce watches, the frown on his face almost faltering once you get on stage and start your perfomance. He shifts ever so lightly in his seat, keeping his eyes on his monitors while you give a rather… suggestive dance. Your moves are graceful and teasing, which make the crowd cheer louder each time you strike a new pose or move.

Alfred clears his throat from further afar, spooking Bruce the slightest bit. He pauses the clip and gets rid of the site, making sure to keep his calm demeanor.

»Master Bruce, I am unsure of… that clip, but I am here to inform you about Mister Freeze‘s new attack.«

Bruce nods his head and gets off his chair, his mind being occupied with everything other than whatever Mister Freeze has planned.

Luckily, he gets his head straight, focusing on his actual duties and makes sure to pointly ignore Alfred‘s questioning about the video. Of course, he will try to make you talk about your past dance career, as well as keep further images out of his mind.

←MASTERLIST

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[therainscene]

[Mentions of ST5 leaks below.]

I've been thinking about Linda Hamilton's mysterious role in S5. Leaks tend to agree that she plays a military character of some sort, but I dunno how difficult a guess that is to make given how much of a gun-toting badass her Terminator character is.

Most of ST's guest stars tend to be cast in roles that reflect the classic 80s movies they were in -- Paul Reiser plays a representative of an exploitative institution like in Aliens; Sean Astin solves a puzzle map that leads to underground tunnels like in The Goonies; Robert Englund plays (the father of) a heavily-scarred, mind-walking child murderer like in A Nightmare on Elm Street, etc -- but is that true for all of them?

What does Larry Kline (the slimy Mayor who screws over small businesses to protect the interests of a large corporation) have in common with Cary Elwes's most famous role (the dashing, swashbuckling farmhand-turned-pirate from Princess Bride)? The similarities may not be immediately obvious, but I think they're clearer when you remember that Elwes also played Robin Hood -- Larry Kline is an ironic reversal of the working-class hero Elwes is known for.

What if Linda Hamilton has been cast as an ironic reversal of Sarah Connor?

Sarah Connor is the mother of humanity's future savior, and by Terminator 2, the burden of ensuring that he survives being the target of a genocidal time-travelling AI has turned her into a hardened solider plagued by nightmares of children dying in an apocalypse she's helpless to prevent.

You can hardly blame her for feeling helpless. Even without the time-travelling robots, she's just one woman trying to make a stand against powerful institutions: the military-funded lab that's ignorantly creating the AI her son is destined to oppose; the asylum doctors who think she's a raving lunatic unfit to raise a child.

It's very reflective of 80s anxieties -- not just the Cold War threat of nuclear annihilation, but the conservative threat of social annihilation in the name of silencing misunderstood minorities.

A reversal of Sarah Connor would, therefore, be someone who is still obsessed with protecting children from a rogue (time-travelling? 🤞) hivemind -- but from the conservative, institutionalized power side of things.

In other words: exactly the sort of antagonistic force that was foreshadowed in the S4 epilogue.

(Should the leaks be true, then this would be the real reason for casting Hamilton in a military role.)

Following this train of thought: if we're getting a villain who's focused on "protecting" children, then what does that suggest about the fact that Holly Wheeler -- 7 year-old sister of a gay Hellfire member and frequent innocent witness to The Horrors that surround him -- is shaping up to be one of Henry's targets in S5?

Let's talk about Ted and Karen.

I feel like these two tend to be misunderstood by the fandom. Either they're frothing bigots who would kick Mike out of the house the instant they found out he was queer, or they're chill allies who have been assuming that Mike was dating Will this whole time.

But that's what Will's parents are like. As a visible gay kid who's playing the stereotypical Sad Gay Boy archetype, it makes sense for Will to have parents that represent the obvious extremes of queer acceptance: Lonnie is never going to be convinced that it's anything other than shameful for his son to be queer, and Joyce is never going to be convinced that there's anything wrong with the way her son loves.

But Mike is the invisible, ambiguously straight-passing kid deep in the throes of comphet -- his role is to surprise the audience by subverting their expectations. And so it's important, I think, that his parents represent the subtler attitude that best reflects his story: the ignorant conformists.

They're the sort of people who get offended when they're accused of bigotry -- they're not hateful, heaven forbid! -- but who still passively support bigoted systems because they refuse to stand up like Sarah Connor or Joyce Byers and challenge the status quo.

While I do believe that "our son with a girl?" is a queer-coded line, I don't think the point was necessarily to suggest that Ted knows about Mike's queerness.

Consider the full context of that scene: Brenner was pressuring the Wheelers to rat Mike out so that this weird kid he was hiding (literally in his closet at one point!) could be apprehended, and he easily won them over with a little "protect the children" fearmongering:

The Wheelers want to support Mike -- but they can only understand his behaviour within the heteronormative white suburban context they're used to, and they'll readily trust authorities they absolutely should not be trusting to explain what help he needs.

Unlike Lonnie, though, the Wheelers have the capacity to change in this regard. They immediately clocked the ridiculousness of the town's Satanic Panic in S4, and the last time we saw them, they demonstrated a promising willingness to question authority and roll their eyes at conservative fearmongering.

But they haven't completed their redemption arc just yet. Holly's disappearance will be an important test of their commitment to this change in attitude.

Picture a redux of that S1 scene, with Hamilton's character in Brenner's role: "I understand your skepticism. It seems ridiculous that there are people in our town who are so committed to hurting children. But cultists are a different breed. Do you remember what happened to Will Byers four years ago? You don't really believe that he randomly got lost in the woods for a week, do you? The same week another child was found dead in the quarry? We can help your daughter, but only if you act now. Tell us where your misguided son and that deeply unwell boy he's a little too close to have gone."

Do they give in to the fearmongering and throw Mike under the bus for Holly's sake?

Or do they clock this bullshit for what it is and decide to peek behind the curtain -- and finally become the sort of parents Mike needs them to be?

[marzipanandminutiae]

one thing I'm curious about re: Frankenstein is that it's not a woman-centered or at least heavily woman-focused story and so few gdt movies are like that

Pan's Labyrinth, Crimson Peak, the Shape of Water, the Murmuring (one of two stories he wrote for Cabinet of Curiosities), Pacific Rim, Nightmare Alley, Mama, Scary Stories to tell in the Dark...I don't get the vibe that he sets out to be A Feminist Director(tm), but he clearly sees women as compelling and full people who are interesting to explore as main characters. which, IMO, makes his work more successfully feminist than if he HAD tried to create "feminist movies" on purpose. even his works that do focus on a male MC tend to have really rich female secondary characters

Frankenstein has like two female characters and both play extremely minor roles, which is very much not usually the Del toro way. Mia Goth is a big-name actress and has been given top billing, so I'm expecting him to give Elizabeth more to do than in the original book?

really looking forward to seeing how this plays out!

[little-annie]

Jillian Harrington

She knows she's not the best mother, but she tries, she really does.

She was a business woman first, never expecting to be a mother until it mistakenly happened. Though, she'll tell you to this day, bringing her baby boy into this world was the best day of her life. Steven Joseph Harrington, all eight pounds, six ounces and the largest head of hair she's ever seen on a newborn baby boy.

It was a struggle from the get go, juggling a newborn and her portion of the family business. There were many days that she brought young Steven to work with her, plopping him down in a play pen in her office while she tried to get mountains paperwork done.

Richard was never helpful, the most contribution he provided was financial aid and the conception of the young boy.

Their marriage was one of business, vows filled with falsities, only for the greater good of merging two successful businesses in order to create one mega one. And that's what they did. What they were. All they ever were.

It was a loveless marriage from the start, Richard coming into the thing with a line of women hiding in closets or waiting for him at vacation homes. They were business partners that lived in the same home and occasionally shared the same bed. But they were never husband and wife, maybe occasionally lovers, but never in the emotional sense, if anything they used each other to burn off steam.

And well, that's how they got Steve.

She knows she wasn't as present throughout his childhood as they both wished she'd be. Missing birthdays, ball games and the occasional holiday, but my god did she love that boy.

Truthfully, aside from her late grandfather, Steve was the only other human being on the planet that held a piece of her heart.

Once her little boy reached school age and could no longer spend his days in the office 'helping' his mom, a nanny did most of the raising. Tending to Steve's needs, smothering him with love and affection.

But on the weekends Jillian always made a point to be home. Taking a rosy cheeked, freckle-faced Steven out for ice cream and a movie, to the park or driving up to the Indiana Dunes to spend the weekend at the lake. The times they shared together were always happy, filled with laughter and joy. Always the highlight of her week.

As Steve (I don't like Steven mom, it sounds too formal) aged and grew into his later years, they still carved out time for one another. Maybe missing a weekend or two due to conflicting schedules, but on those days when Steve was travelling for school sports or Jillian was out of State on business, they spoke on the phone in the evenings.

She was there to see the light in his eyes at the mention of the eldest Wheeler, to see the blush on his cheeks as he spoke of brown eyes, curly hair and a strong will.

She was there to see that very light drained and dull, cast over with the weight of something that had him up screaming in the middle of the night and jumping at the drop of a pin.

That was when she started dropping clients and changing her schedule to work from home more often, choosing to set up their guest room as a makeshift office.

Whatever her boy had gone through, he'd gone through it alone and that wasn't going to happen again.

Many mornings did she wake to find her teenage boy curled up in bed only a few inches away, at some point in the night startling awake and coming to seek comfort.

When the mall fire, or so they called it, happened, Steve finally let the floodgates open, spilling every unbelievable detail of what he'd gone through. It was heartbreaking to know the boy had suffered so much and kept it bottled up for such a long time. The horrors he'd seen, the loss he'd witnessed.

She wanted nothing more than to haul them away and say so long to Hawkins and its horrors but it just wasn't in the cards and truthfully, she didn't think Steve would be willing to leave.

Richard was an anomaly, a rarity in the Harrington house and never once did they divulge the going ons of Steve's life to the man. They kept him in the dark, much like he did to them. It's not like he was very present in their lives, either away on business or gone off somewhere with a mistress.

Hawkins cracked open on one of the rare occasions Jillian was away on business, out of state, across the country. She'd seen it on the news first and knew immediately that it was connected to the horrors that kept her boy up at night. She'd cancelled her meetings and flew into Indianapolis only to be stopped by military personnel at the Hawkins city limits. An immediate quarantine they'd said, noxious gas or something of the sort. No one was allowed in as much as no one was allowed out.

The only thing on her mind was her son.

She didn't return to her business trip, getting a motel room in the nearest town until she heard word of Hawkins re-engaging with the world.

It'd been a month and when she got back to her hometown, it was quite literally split into quarters, fissures in the ground, deep and daunting, threatening.

Finally it was at the hospital where she found her son, supposedly visiting a friend, a young man she'd yet to meet. Steve was obviously shaken, skin scarred and healing, eyes bloodshot and an expression on his face as if he'd seen death and maybe be had.

She'd taken him home and did her best to nurse him back to health, helping to maintain maintenance on bandages and be there for those times when his sanity inevitably crumbled.

Months had passed and Steve left the house often, going out to "check on the kids," or "help out at the school" or "see Robin," or, just like clock work, every afternoon, "I'm just gonna go check on Eddie."

She'd known about the kids, had met a handful of them, constantly heard of the Henderson boy and his antics. She knew Robin, quite liked the girl and for the longest time figured she was the new Nancy, but after some very emphasised points on the word "Platonic," she knew better. But Eddie, Eddie she knew nothing about, only heard whispering around town, none of which were good.

But it only took a single conversation with her son to know the truth.

To know Eddie was only a troubled boy, with a town out for his head. To know that he was only a boy and aided in saving the very town that hated him. Risked his life for those with closed minds and torches in hand.

To know that her son held something special in his heart for the boy. Something rare. Though she'd never say, she often saw a familiar light in Steve's eyes when speaking about the other young man.

She'd like to meet him some day.

—-

And there's a few times she comes close. Whether she knows it or not.

[starscreambbymama]

There's something that's so gross Sarah J Maas writes how the three flying mole rats with wings view the Illyrians in her books that either her stans vehemently ignore or outright wish not to acknowledge.

1. Rhysand-He doesn't care about his Illyrian side yet only when it will benefit him in the long run in order to get what he wants in the end. He doesn't respect the illyrians let alone who they are as individuals yet what they can provide for him. He acknowledges the illyrians strength but not in a way of respect but what that strength can do for him and his court only. He is 100% okay knowing that his wife has physically changed her body to have an Illyrian woman's anatomy on when it benefits her, knowing that the wind clipping is still an ongoing problem. Knowing that the Illyrian women and girls are being bodily harmed from this practice. Sure you can argue and play devil's advocate that Rhysand has told the Illyrians to stop the wing clipping but what are the consequences? What consequences has he put in place that tells the Illyrians "I do not stand for this. My court does not stand for this. Not now or ever. And if you continue these are the consequences" but he won't do that, he'd much rather say that he wants change and yet will not get the ball rolling and get the job done and just do the bare minimum and wipe his hands of the problem.

2. Cassian & Azriel-Both of these two characters, unlike Rhysand are both full Illyrian. Yet Azriel vehemently detests his own race due to his own childhood trauma, even extending that hate to Illyrians that he doesn't even know that well due to said traume resulting in creating his own generalization, prejudice and internalized racism of the same group he was born from. Azriel has made it completely clear he doesn't give two single shits about Illyria and would rather anyone that is Illyrian (save for Rhysand and Cassian) to be completely wiped out on the face of Prythian. Cassian himself while being proud to be Illyrian is so blindly faithful to the same person who allows Illyria to be the way that it is now. Just as Rhysand he talks up and down about how he hates the wing clipping (the equivalency of genital mutilation toward girls and women in real life). While both he, Azriel (even though it's contradictory for him to care give his detest for the Illyrians) and Rhysand advocate to have the Illyrian women trained in combat, I ask how does this help the situation? The wing clipping is still gonna happen regardless given the fact there aren't any consequences set up if the act continues. The Illyrian women are expected to do jobs such as the cooking, cleaning,making the clothes, doing the laundry, giving birth to children and tending to the children. And with what we know, Illyrian men aren't okay with Illyrian women or their wives training whatsoever and they wouldn't really have a say in it either so the wives are ruled out. In addition to the act their wings are clipped and basically useless given the fact Illyrian wings are used during combat as well. So it only leaves left for the only that qualify to be Illyrian girls who haven't gotten their first period yet. From the book it states that Rhysand's mother didn't have her's until she was 18 due to restricting her diet from the clipping happening. And Mor had her period around the time that she was 17 so we can chalk up to Illyrian girls getting their period around 17 and the age range for the Illyrians to begin training is about 8-9. So I'm guessing the age range would be 8-16 years old and stop there. Also, going back to the point of the tasks the Illyrian girls have to do strenuous activities day by day on top of having to go an do training when they're done. They're going to be tired and exhausted after doing all of that. Also, what if the illyrians girls don't want to train? What if they want to do other things like poetry, painting, playing an instrument, dancing, fishing, riding horses, swimming, making flower chains, flying, reading, archery, pottery, playing, whatever they want to do? What about their choices? The training isn't a solution that the Illyrian women and girls want, it's a solution that Rhysand, Cassian and Azriel think tat they would want. And yet these three are considered the "good ones" out of all the Illyrians by the author and the fandom makes me sick. Yet of course it is this way given the fact SJM has written an entire group and put them in a box with a culture that defines them as being violent, barbaric, misogynists that only view their women as breeding stock.

[loosethreadsofyoursoul]

while i will always love and appreciate the bisexual dean winchester agenda, i truly believe that if he was raised differently—or maybe if he grew up today instead—that boy would have been gay. like his love for women in a romantic/sexual context was always such a caricature and was continuously used as a symbol of masculinity that played against the roles assigned to him by his father growing up for the sake of suppressing any queerness he might exhibit. now whether that suppression was purposely written into his character or was a reaction to the character they had created, i’m not sure, but it’s there regardless.

i don’t mean to dismiss the love he felt for cassie or lisa, but particularly with lisa, i’m not sure he was ever in love with her, despite the fact that he did care for both her and ben. i get so frustrated watching the end of s5 because him going to her house and his perfect “apple pie life” being with her in suburbia genuinely came out of nowhere and i’ve never understood a) why it had to happen, and b) why it had to be lisa. but thinking about it in this sense, she was the closest thing he had in his life to everything he was raised to believe he should want by one john winchester, who lost his perfect wife, perfect family, perfect apple pie life and sent all of them down this path in the first place. so of course to dean, his happy ending would be with someone like lisa. but that’s the important part. someone like lisa, not lisa herself. he may have had love for her and he may have been able to picture a life with her, but it wasn’t necessarily because she was everything he wanted; she was a symbol of the things that tore his family apart and so to be with her felt like he was finally able to put some of it back together. and that makes me so sad for him because all of that is a result of the sense of responsibility ingrained in him growing up by john, not something he wanted for himself.

but back to his general attitude towards women, there was an excellent post that said he only acts like the typical womanizer he has a reputation for being around women deemed “stereotypical” by the misogynistic perspective. otherwise, he tends to take on a fairly brotherly role; he doesn’t tend to pursue any women he can “take seriously,” and is more intimidated or impressed by them than anything else. with the exception of cassie (which was pre-series and we never got full context for in the first place), he only ever pursued women with whom he would have a definitive ending—by that i mean women who he knows he’ll never see again or who would have a clearly defined role during the time they’re together that wouldn’t threaten the status quo. and yes these could also be the traits of a commitment-phobe or someone chronically on the move, but for one, sam doesn’t tend to do the same thing (see ruby, amelia, and eileen), and for two, given the things i mentioned already, it makes me consider it more of a result of him not actually being interested in women romantically.

his reaction to women when not purposely used as the butt of a joke or to perpetuate the “womanizer dean winchester” agenda is often so innately fraternal, caring in a way that doesn’t have any expectations behind it. and when there is a romantic context, so much of the relationship can be attributed to the way john raised him and the beliefs he has as a direct result; it’s never simply been built on the foundation of love.

every time he is dismissed as this macho het guy, it also dismisses so much of what makes him a wonderful character, and yes a lot of that is his queerness. so in a world where he didn’t grow up with roles and responsibilities that shaped him into someone he knew his dad hated and forced him to create this character for himself in order to survive? i think he would have been gay and he would have been okay with that.

[rootspiral]

Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 3 part 1

(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])

(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][+1] ep5 [1][2][3][4][5] ep6 [1][2][3] ep7 [1][2][3][4][5][6] ep8 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9] ep9 [1][2][3][4][5][6])

hey hey, it's episode 3 Through Many Miles of Tricks and Trials and we're on the Road, witches!

Agatha knew All Along (that Billy created the Road), evidence number 1 out of 646132.

And see how they added black bars in this episode? They're getting ready to switch aspect ratio like they did in Wandavision

but like, she's not wrong. you see that sharon's not wrong, don't you? she has been kidnapped by witches. again.

agatha's grimace when they say it's all her fault. which a) it totally is and b) she never expects other witches to be supportive of her anyway

oh sharon, you beautiful fish out of water. we all laugh at her, meanwhile she's PANICKING. HARD.

this particular group needs to figure out how to do that first, Billy. but hey, they'll get there. sort of.

Jen, looking directly at agatha: why is this MAGICLESS HELPLESS lady coming with us on a deadly mission, whose sick idea was this? she has no business being here!

Sharon, her voice drowned by everyone else: see that's what I've been trying to tell you~

Agatha deflecting hard, like the coward she is: HEY THIS IS MY GOOD FRIEND MRS HART YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT

a very scared coven looks at agatha for answers, because she's the only one who's ever been on the Road.

agatha, who's never fucking been on the Road and made up the whole thing: I've bullshitted my way into this mess, I'll bullshit my way out of it. live laugh love bitches!

I'm looking at this scene clearly for the first time now that I've brightened it, and wow, the others are worried, but sharon looks so scared, always so scared

billy is having the time of his life, and you'd think agatha would step in at some point and warn him about what he's done. but nah. let's wait and see. as long as she's covering her own ass.

lilia looking at billy's sigil like, damn that's some neat handiwork, wonder who did that. she sounds like a cool witch.

agatha totally insults stuff when she's impressed with it like some cheap anime tsundere

lies.

but see how she puts her whole body between billy and the others? super protective mama

HOW COULD YOU GUYS LOSE HER SO QUICKLY. it's funny and all, but this is exactly how she'll die: they'll forget about her until it's too late.

it's so clever what they're doing with sharon, and it's so clever that they chose debra jo rupp for it, because she's so delightfully funny. I've talked already about how the comedy in the first few episodes is deceptive. sharon is living in a horror movie and you're not supposed to see it quite yet.

you think she's a funny old lady upset about losing her purse. you think maybe she's gonna find out she's magical and join the coven, who knows! so much fun, so many possibilities! you don't think that this is a woman in her 70s who was brutally tortured by a witch only a few years back, you forgot the lesson from wandavision. this evening she was tending her garden and now she's god knows where with a bunch of those very witches she's sure to be terrified of, kidnapped by a neighbor she thought she could trust. think about that, she's not going home, ever. I'll elaborate more at the end of the episode, but this is a show about the inevitability of death. sharon is like nicky, doomed by the narrative, and it'll take you two or three or four rewatches to fully see it and to make your peace with it.

alice tenderheart, alice braveheart jumps to the rescue with no hesitation. she is a protection witch. she protects.

agatha stands in the back and (pretends she) doesn't care, like some asshole.

hey agatha, hey agatha? fuck you. fuck you agatha.

she's pulling all this out of her ass. she might as well be doing fart noises right now

my headcanon is that this is where Billy dreams to retire with Boyf in their golden years. you know he thinks about that sort of stuff

thank you to @friedwizardwhispers for pointing out that agatha is also in awe of the Road and the magic it took to create it. she is! look at her here, she's scared but also excited, she's fundamentally a nerd who's always hungry to learn and discover more about magic and spellcraft. she hates the witch community but she's also obsessed with it

now look at this sequence: agatha demonstrates once again that she knows Billy is behind all of this. only she goes about it with hints and metaphors because - you know - she's a damn fucking coward

sharon has gone through all the stages of grief in twenty minutes: denial (this is a kidnapping!), anger (this came from talbots, you can't have it!) bargain (okay, okay, okay, catching my breath, okay), depression (I don't know how do you expect me to walk and walk and walk when there is nowhere to walk to!) aaand now she's accepted her fate. time to get drunk. and die.

"That would be such a bummer." WOULD IT NOW BILLY. WOULD IT BE SUCH A BUMMER IF SHARON DIED SO SENSELESSLY? WOULD IT SEND AUDIENCES THROUGH ALL FIVE STAGES OF GRIEF TOO IF SHE WAS KILLED LIKE THAT??? IT'S ALMOST AS IF THEY'RE DOING IT ON PURPOSE OR SMTH BILLY

what I'm saying is, the writers are truly basking in some cruel irony right now. especially considering that billy is going to feel so responsible about sharon's death

the others look back at the house, agatha is the only one looking at billy, she's the only one who understands the implications of the exchange between billy and sharon. I imagine her process being something like "this is really going to hurt the kid later -> should I say something? -> should I step in? -> should i...? -> ... ->nah"

so the moon in the sky and the color of the leaves on the Road depend on the trial? is that why they were blue just now? I need to pay more attention to stuff like that

sharon takes a deep breath, sighs, goes into the house last.

sudden aspect ratio change! not my favorite outfits, but I love those pants on kathryn

see you tomorrow peeps ❤️

go to episode 3 part 2

[lovelytsunoda]

F1 DRIVERS AS CHARACTERS FROM MAGIC MIKE

aka the best shitpost that has ever shitposted from lovelytsunoda on tumblr

JENSON BUTTON as DALLAS

He’s been around the block a few times. The seasoned veteran that holds our group together. Semi-retired, Jenson is now the touring MC and the owner of the club where our favourite boys perform. He’s still got it though, and that’s evident by the women that hang off him like shirtless white dudes are going out of style and they’re desperate to grab the last one. He knows exactly what he’s doing, and just how to please a woman. Looks incredible in a cowboy hat.

LEWIS HAMILTON as MIKE

He's got dreams, visions of a life where he can put his male stripper days behind him. Despite himself, he takes a new young talent under his wing, while he prepares to leave and create a humble new life for himself. Ladies everywhere know his name, and he's always the title performer. The other dancers are jealous of his street cred and wish they could all be him. There will never be another Lewis.

LANDO NORRIS as ADAM

He’s young, he’s eager and he’s attracted by the idea of swimming dollar bills and all the chicks he could possibly want. Lando Norris is green in the gills and needs someone to take him under their wing. Enter Lewis Hamilton. Lewis teaches the kid everything he knows, and eventually The Kid becomes a bigger star than he is.

CARLOS SAINZ JR. as BIG DICK RICHIE

Do I really need to explain this one? Ladies man with two sides: romantic and scandalous. Insecure about the size of his package, as it tends to scare the ladies away. Lover of MILFs. The ideas man of the group, tired of doing the same routines over and over again. No fashion sense at all. when he finally gets laid, you know damn well everybody is going to hear about it (and it might be with a middle aged mom).

CHARLES LECLERC as TITO

He's like a hyperactive puppy with a heart of gold. Brings a certain kind of swagger to the stage, but is easily distracted offstage. Has tried (and failed) to create different products and startups, but thinks whatever hairbrained idea he has come up with next is the one. Wants to go on Shark Tank. I love him your honour.

FERNANDO ALONSO as TARZAN

He's been in the game longer than some of the younger dancers have been alive. Nobody is sure why, but the ladies love him. A sweet and gentle soul who would do anything to go back in time and settle down with the one who got away, Fernando has more depth than expected.

OSCAR PIASTRI as KEN

Thinks they should 'stop giving women what men think they want' and start 'asking women what they want'. Certified sweetheart, the ladies love him. Will give you a lap dance while serenading you with love songs that stopped being popular in 1986. The baby of the group, sometimes it takes a few tries to be taken seriously. And did I mention women love him?

VALTTERI BOTTAS as TOBIAS

He may not be a good stripper, but he's the number one supporter (and the driver, and the DJ). When Jenson fucks off to Monaco, it's Valtteri who takes over as MC. Will totally win an impromptu drag race because he is just that bitch.

YUKI TSUNODA as ANDRE (magic mike xxl)

Certified sweetheart. Will put on his little fedora and suit jacket and make up a song about how wonderful you are. Because sometimes, the shy girls in the audience need a bit of love and attention as well. Even if his music career were to take off, he'd probably still keep stripping because he loves making pretty girls smile.

[whereserpentswalk]

Select a strange and inhuman creature from beyond the realms of human knowledge to go on a sate with and possibly form a long term relationship with.

1- a scientist from an alternate timeline where the kpg mass extinction never happened, and raptors evolved sapient minds. He's trapped in this realm after a failed timeline travel mission. He's very curious about your world, though still a bit afraid of his fate here.

2- a cyborg supersolider whose been wandering the earth since the fall of Atlantis. She has a tall slender build, and is unable to take off her power armor below the neck. Despite her appearance she can be very quiet and reserved, and despite her appearance startles easily. She's still deconstructing a lot of trauma from her past.

3- a mouthless, sexless, vampire who drains blood through very sharp tentacles on their. They seem to be at the bottom of whatever hierarchy vampires have, being unable to speak of pass as human. Though they have an animalistic way of movement, and can't communicate without aac, they're very much a person, and tend to be affectionate and enthusiastic with those who are nice to them.

4- a deal making entity that looks like a black eyed human in a suit (the suit can't come off, it's like part of its skin). It's known to buy and sell human souls, but it wouldn't do that to someone it's on a date with. It's personality is considered strange and sometimes uncomfortable to humans, though it is charismatic in a way. It will also insist it isn't a person.

5- an elder demon whose taking a hundred year vacation from the underworld. Despite his job as a demon he tends to be pretty freindly and casual, sometimes deceptively so. He appears as a tall reptilian humanoid, with horns, several eyes, and a heavy set build. He'll probably give you headpats.

6- a shape-shifter made out of living metal who was made as a weapon, but failed her job because she refuses to take forms that aren't female. She's just been released into the world and is still kind of naïve and can be very trusting of new people that she meets. Her base form that she chooses to take is some sort of anime oc.

7- faerie of the unseelie court who kidnapps children who wander into abandoned buildings. She tends to appear as a naked woman, with deer antlers, and a snake where her genitals should be. She can seem a bit sadistic and violent, but since you're her's she'll be nice to you, just don't expect to explain the concept of morality to her, she lives a life based on what she finds fun. For better or worse she doesn't kill the children, though they aren't human children after she's done with them.

8- a computer from the 1980s whose been granted sentience. He's very arogent due to being technically the first agi, though little to his knowledge he's only sentient because a faerie lord thought it would be funny. Due to his limited body he uses a wheelchair for movement and some sort of claw to grab things. He's nice but he can be a bit self centered.

9- a slender genderless humanoid and a massive venomous wyvern who are actually the same being inhabiting two bodies. They can seem cold at first, and don't seem to have normal body language or expression, though they do feel emotions despite what some think. They can pretty easily lose track of social cues and tend to go own about their hyperfixations a lot. They really hope you'll like them, and also want to make sure you see them as equally their humanoid and draconic halves, not just one or the other.

10- a fallen angel who only fell a few weeks ago. It's still very afraid of what it's become, scares easily, and has an inferiority complex, though it can be very nice and affectionate. It won't tell you why the other angels kicked it out, though it now knows the entity that created it lied about being a god, and shouldn't be trusted by mortals. It looks like a living doll, with a jointed body, and golden wings and a broken halo behind its head.

11- werewolf who serves a god so old that his name has been lost to history. The werewolf has been around for a long time, and has been fighting for the rights of humans, nature, and other entities since the 20th century. Xe speaks with a soft voice, and converses with humans, gods, demons and animals all in the same tone, and with the same amount of respect.

12- the sparrow king. Do not under any circumstances interact with the sparrow king. The organization does not approve of this option.

Reblog to book your date. Like to buy the creature a little present.

[theinheriteddutchess]

Love Over Gold

pairing: Curtis Everett x reader

Summary: Being a lady has its disadvantages, with its expectations and rules you weren't allowed to be the person you truly want to be. Freedom wasn't in the cards for you, but you take your moments when you can. Luckily, your head groom keeps quiet when you act out. In return you ignore his lack of obedience. He might be the only one you feel yourself with.

Word count: 4.027

Warnings: some pushing of boundaries, mention of scars caused by beatings, different class systems of the regency era (and therefore unfair treatment and expectations).

Notes: another Lord au story! But Curtis isn't a Lord this time, so let's see what happens! Please let me know if you liked it because it makes me very happy and often motivates me to write more☺️

Masterlist * Lord au Masterlist

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You slowed your horse down as soon as your house came into sight, petting the flank of the shiny black beauty you called your own. Given to you on your 16th birthday, though your father might regret it by now.

She was feisty, but then, so were you, your mother always used to say. There was nothing more you loved than riding. Especially if it meant avoiding your other duties. And there were plenty now you've gotten older. 

You were getting prepared to run your own household, but you were in need of a husband first. 

You were in no rush however, since there were no male heirs left in the family, only a distant female cousin, and she only inherited after your death. It was important to choose well. 

Men mostly bored you. They talked about hunting, or playing cards, or how much they spend on their library, and yet never seemed to read any of the books they purchased. They sipped wine and nibbled on their food and they had excellent manners. Conversation never drifted to important things, and if it ever did, it was quickly swapped since you, as a woman, were delicate and couldn't understand such important matters. 

The thought of having to spend the rest of your days speaking about absolutely nothing filled you with dread. You liked horses, and you liked watching them be trained. You even had a good hand with them yourself, but ever since turning 18, you had been denied the task. It wasn't for a lady to behave so. You had servants for that. 

You liked learning about the property and how much it made every year, how to spend and how to save. What worked on the land and what did not. Yet again, you were persuaded to take up embroidery or perhaps painting. 

Your father allowed you to ride. Perhaps with the insight you would get too unruly otherwise - you did after all take after his temper - and you took the chance every opportunity you got. 

Arriving at the stable you handed over your reigns to the head groom. Curtis had arrived as a boy and started from the bottom all the way up to this position. He worked hard, showed a wide display of skills but had taken a liking to tending to the horses. After old Jameson had retired he had been given the position.

He was often pensive. While his eyes were bright blue, they often looked overshadowed, creating the idea they were much darker than they were. He sounded gruff, and he was often quiet to many, giving the impression he was a harsh man. But you've seen how gently he handled your horse and you always suspected a kind heart underneath the grime.

“Make sure to give her an extra carrot, will you, Curtis? She's behaved excellently today. In fact, give her two! She deserves it.” You told him, petting the dark fur lovingly. “You did so well, girl. I can't wait to go out together again. Maybe tomorrow, if I can shake off Fetcher.”

“I'm sure Mrs. Fletcher will be pleased to hear you call her by that name.” His deep voice sounded near you as he watched you stroke the silky fur.

You looked up at him, “Did she not fetch me things?”

He did not fall for your sweet voice. He had seen you grow up as an unruly child to an unruly lady. Mrs. Fletcher had been the last of governesses, and the one that turned out to be somewhat keeping you in order. You resented that about her. The woman had found ways to put the fear in you, and you'd never forgiven her for it.

Your poor mother had been spared all this by being overcome by fever in your 12th year and your father had been left to handle the burden on his own. He had shown less patience for any trouble you caused, but you had the suspicion that deep down he enjoyed it much the same. Seeing himself in you, if you believed your old grandmama. He had been an equally unruly child. But he had been a boy, and that was his savior. You had no such luck. 

“That woman deserves something extra next Christmas after all she's put up with.”

You raised your eyebrows. Honestly, it wasn't how a servant was supposed to speak with you. Had you informed your father he would have been belted, or sent away. Curtis and you had an understanding however, you left him alone and he never told anyone he had seen you swim in your undergarments several years ago. The thought still made your cheeks burn. If your father knew, you would never hear the end of it. Being seen in such a state of undress, by a male servant no less, would be its own scandal.

In your defense it had been a warm day and you were sick of the heavy clothing you were forced to wear. It had been a good thing Curtis had caught you after all, since you needed help getting dressed again, the 15 buttons on the back much harder to close then open. 

You sometimes still felt his fingers brushing your undershirt as he struggled with the tiny nubs, but he eventually got them all. You remember laying suffering in bed that night, thinking he was going to tell anyone and it would get to your father. But he had not spoken a word and in time you were convinced he never would. 

It was unspoken between you two that certain things were better left as it was. You with your occasional uncouth behavior, him and the way he never seemed to completely bow to the nobility.

You had the thought before he secretly despised the upper class. You could not be sure, and you could not ask. He might work for your family, but his mind was his own, and you could respect that.

“The woman is enjoying her power over me a little too much,” you mumbled. Soured at the reprimand. 

“Power? As she works for you? Tell me, what do children of the wealthy really have to suffer?”

You stilled for an answer. Because the first thought of ‘off to bed with no supper, not allowed to visit a ball, or writing lines if your studies were disappointing’, somehow faded with the realisation that for children like he had been, things were much more dreadful. You had often seen him being hit by the other workers if he didn't behave or made a mistake. You suddenly felt foolish. 

“She's making me feel bad often,” you mumbled. 

“And it never lasted an hour. Now go on, back to the house, your father's looking for you, you're late for dinner.”

Oh no. Quickly you gathered your skirts and, very unladylike, you hastened towards the big building ahead of the stables. You weren't going to hear the end of it. 

-

You sneaked out of the house unnoticed. It had been a few days since you weren't allowed to go horseback riding until you could behave and be back in time. You missed Flight, you were often not even missing a day to even see her. The guilt had crept up and you couldn't stand it any longer. Quietly, you had sneaked downstairs and hurried down the lane towards the stables. You hoped not to have been spotted, but so far no one stopped you, so even if they had, they had decided to not interfere.

You were relieved to see the wooden building and quickly opened the door. 

There she was, her brown eyes watching you as you came up to her. 

“There you are girl, did you miss me as well? Father is horribly cruel separating us. He even threatened to take you away, but I told him I would never forgive him. And I think he knew I meant it,” you told her quietly as you stroked her soft muzzle.

She sighed a little as you petted her gently, the warm breath ghosting over your hand so familiar to you.

“Maybe tomorrow I can manage to persuade him again to allow me to have an outing with you, but I fear he's still a little angry.”

“Not as angry as when he finds out you left your room in your nightwear to go sneak off into the night.”

You shrieked at the sudden voice. Turning around, hand pressed against your chest, you saw Curtis in front of you, holding a lamp to cast light on the both of you. You promptly forgot what you were going to say as you took a better look at him. 

He had forgotten to put on a shirt, his pants were loose on his hips like he had forgotten to tighten them, and you followed the hair that had been generously spread around his chest and belly, leading down in a finishing trail towards…your eyes shot up to his. 

He was watching you watch him. You didn't read his expression as the light danced around his face, making him look almost sinister. Was he angry? 

“I just needed to see her.” You whispered. 

“I thought someone had broken in.”

You forgot he slept inside the building, in a room especially for him to keep watch over the horses if need be. 

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.”

He grumbled what sounded like a laugh and you realized how foolish the idea seemed of you scaring him. Even if you had been someone with ill intentions, he could easily overpower you. His muscles were plenty and thick from all the hard work. Clean skin gleaming in the flame’s light. So much skin, all for your curious eyes to see. 

“Never seen a man before?” He rumbled and you pressed your hands to your burning cheeks. 

You had, in fact, not seen a man like this before. Both in this state of undress, and what you suspected, not with this build either. 

“I,” you fell silent, not knowing what to say, feeling awfully warm like you were getting a cold perhaps. 

“Shouldn't you rush back, in the dark of the night, hoping no one catches what you've been doing? So you can slip into your bed pretending you haven't seen me. But I guess that makes us even now. Since I've seen you before.”

You gawked like a fish, your mouth opening comically. Never had he ever spoken about it, not even to you. And now, now he wished to bring it up?

“That was an accident.”

“Like this is? And yet I can still see your eyes looking at me,” he neared you suddenly. He looked so intimidating to you, now you were here alone, in the night, with no one around as a chaperone. 

“You keep staring at me. Are you that curious about a man's body? Have you never seen one? Or are the men you know nothing like me? They probably never lifted a finger to do any hard work. And work is the only way to look like this.” He spat out almost angry.

You were enthralled all the same. His words, his body so close you felt the heat seeping into your skin, and his smell which was clean and so very pleasant. You looked up at him with big eyes. A man had never been this close to you, unless it was your own father. You knew you should step away, rush back, yet you seemed frozen. 

He hung his lantern on the spike next to your horse’s stall, and his fingers touched your cheek. You gasped. His hand felt so warm, and it was so big on your face. 

“A lady shouldn't be staring at a man like this. But then, you've never really been a lady, have you,” he whispered, breath blowing over your skin with every word. 

He didn't wait for an answer, as he closed the gap and pressed his mouth on yours. 

Your knees buckled, but he held you up. He did not pull back as you had expected, he continued to stroke your lips with his as his thumb caressed your cheek tenderly. 

Your heart was beating so fast you thought it would soon give up and you would depart this world. His chest was pressed against yours, all those firm muscles against your soft breasts. And even lower, something hard against your belly. 

He moved against you, grumbling softly. 

If this was how you were to die, you thought it would be okay. Not the worst death. Would have been nice to extend it a little longer, however. You just had your first kiss. Something your husband should get, but it was probably better that Curtis stole it. He seemed to know what he was doing.

Husband…. You pushed him back suddenly, ashamed of the situation. 

“We can't. I'm not…I can't be with you.” You gasped, as you pressed your hands together like a prayer in front of you. “This isn't proper, I need to go back.”

His face darkened. “Then go little filly, back to safety. And be more careful next time. Don't forget, I'm not a gentleman, I have no such manners.”

You looked at him once more, you meant it in a composed manner but your eyes got caught on his heaving chest and, even lower, a firmness in his pants that suddenly caught your curiosity. But you didn't linger any longer, you turned and rushed out of the stable, running like the dogs were chasing you like a trespasser. You did not care if anyone caught you, you just needed to be in the safety of your room. And it was with luck no one did see you, perhaps you had enough excitement for the night. 

-

Exhaustion filled you for the coming days as at night your head was filled with the visual of that broad chest and the way his dark eyes had set upon you. You tried not to go near the stables, but when you were taking your daily walks, your eyes seemed to search for him in the distance and sometimes he stopped working and just looked at you. 

It was unnerving.

Fetcher had sent for the doctor, believing you unwell with how little you ate and the random hot flashes you experienced, but the man found nothing wrong. Healthy as ever, just make sure you get fresh air and perhaps a lighter diet for the upcoming week? 

Your father forgot about his anger instantly and you were free to do as you pleased, as long as you were careful. His worry turning him softer and more forgiving.

You avoided the stables for another day, but your restless nature couldn't deny going for a ride any longer. 

You marched towards your stable, to your horse, and ordered the stable boy to ready her. As you waited, Curtis appeared inside and told the boy to go clean up the other stalls. You didn't refuse his presence because you did not want to draw suspicion. 

He finished the task the boy started and turned to you expectedly. Huffing, you unlocked your crossed arms and stepped towards him. You didn't need the help to get up, having done it since you were nine, but his big hands grabbed your waist and lifted you to speed up the process. Flustered, you settled yourself firmly in the saddle. Now, it was common to ride on a ladies saddle, but here, in the privacy of your home, you rode like a man. You found you were much more balanced this way and thought it unfair women had to sit coyly while it prevented any real racing.

As it were, Curtis helped your foot into the stirrups, his other hand sliding up your calf. Your breath stopped as you looked down and watched him do it. He didn't even look at you. Then he moved to the other side and placed your other foot. Again, his touch lingered, but this time stroking higher even. You shivered. You should say something! It was indecent!

When his eyes looked up and caught yours, all thoughts stopped. 

He knew what he was doing, he was teasing you! How dare he? 

You grabbed your whip and spit at him: “Touch me once more and I will touch you with this!”

He was unimpressed. Neither did he speak. You huffed again in anger and turned your horse, urging it to go faster. You couldn't wait to be away from him. 

Off to freedom. Away from reality. And away from those blue eyes that seemed to find you when you didn't want them. 

Riding helped. The wind as you galloped, the will to choose what path to take. Your horse as you worked together in perfect unison. It was a breath of relief and all too soon it ended. It cleared your mind off all things awful, and when you returned you felt calmer. 

Curtis just needed to know his place. He thought he could take advantage of you, like you were some weak willed maiden, not his future mistress. Perhaps you would fire him if you were running this estate! You would not lose your composure, however. You were going to be calm yet firm. And he would listen to you! 

When you arrived it was only the stable boy who you found. After you asked for his superior, you were told he had retired to his personal quarters for a quick luncheon.

You thanked the boy and swiftly stepped towards the room. You were full of determination, it could not wait. 

You knocked but quickly opened the door and caught him midbite of what appeared to be a plate of bread with some cheese and ham. 

“I will not be treated this way!” You told him, your nose up in the air to appear taller than you were as you tried to look down at him. 

“Treated like what?” he calmly asked, not dumbfounded at all. 

“Like some…some slattern!” you hissed, slightly embarrassed to use the vulgar word in front of a man. 

He stood up and immediately you lost your advantage as he towered over you.

“I was not aware I treated you as such. No,” he wiped his mouth from any remaining grease and crumbs. “I believe I treated you as a woman. Maybe you don't know the difference because those jolterheads would never treat you that way. They wouldn't even be allowed to touch your hand, but I touched much more. And it terrifies you that you liked it.”

You tried again. “How dare you!” You raised your hand to slap him but he swiftly caught it and pulled you against him. 

“In here, in my personal quarters, you and I are no different. Just a man and a woman alone. And I will not be treated with any disrespect.”

You swallowed as his deep voice reached you, the anger so evident in every word. “Let go of me! You brute! I am your Mistress, and you will not touch me!” You struggled pointlessly against the strength holding you. 

“I work for you, does this mean you own me?” he told you. “Are you claiming me as yours, filly?”

Why did he make it seem completely different than you meant? And why was your heart beating so rapidly again. 

“ Unhand me, I do not feel well.”

“You're feeling what every woman feels when she's near a real man.” He placed his hand on your heart. “Or even feel at all. How fast it is beating. Are you that scared of me? Are you scared at all?” His voice had turned into a soft murmur and you pushed your face nearer to hear him better. Or so you told yourself. 

“I can't stop thinking about the kiss we shared,” he whispered. “I am forbidden in your house unless your father calls for me, and yet all I want to do is go up your window, and feast my eyes upon you laying in bed, in that nightgown you exposed to me.”

You could only blink as you heard him make his confession. As his fingers slipped under the lace covering your bosom, stroking the top of your breast.

“I could make you feel things you never have before. I could make you crazy with want. To desire me until it's all you think about. Our bodies entwining as man and woman should. We would be equal, just us and our feelings, undeniable.”

Your father would kill him. You would be shamed. This could never happen. Every thought however was squashed as his hands formed around your breast and your knees buckled. You could only hold onto him, as he squeezed the soft flesh, his fingers finding your nipple and you gasped with the sensation that followed.

“Have you any idea how long I watched you? How much you teased me with your presence? Ever since that forbidden swim, where you let me dress you, did you even think of how it haunted me?” He rumbled as his other hand plucked the ribbons off your dress loose. And all you could do was stand there and let it happen. 

“How I thought of having you, just like this? How I would undress you, and loosen your hair until it was spread out in my bed. And the sound I could pull out of you. I will make sure you will never want another. That you will crave me every time you turn away from me. I will drive you just as mad as you did me!”

He kissed you hardly, not giving you any room to pull back back, his hands pushing the fabric off of you until you were covered in your undergarments and corset, and even that didn't seem to be enough. His hands kept trying to remove something, even if your hands tried to prevent it, he was successful and even your corset fell to the ground. Both of his hands were on you and you moaned. It felt pleasant to feel them, warm and surprisingly gentle, as he stroked the fire inside of you. 

When he pressed his naked chest - when did that happen? - to yours, you shivered. He kept pressing kisses on your lips, your neck, even your breasts. 

You should be ashamed, but it felt so good. You grabbed onto him, your hands exploring his chest, feeling the muscles on his back as you pulled him nearer. 

“If I could have you just once I could die a satisfied man. Will you give me that? Just once.”

You couldn't even answer, mind twirling with a need for something you didn't yet understand.

He picked you up and you yelped until he smothered the noise with his lips again. He carried you easily, another display of his strength and it made you feel so safe, even if he was a danger at the moment. Something hard pressed against your womanhood and instead of fear you felt excited. You felt so good right now, you didn't think to stop. You didn't think of anything but the feeling of his body against yours. 

He looked magnificent naked. Every part of him was strong. He had more scars than you could count, some of them angry looking and you wondered how many of them were accidents or inflicted. You were against physical punishment, no matter if you had threatened to hit him before, both of you knowing you would never actually go along with it, and the thought he went through any of it hurt your heart, you kissed the skin over his heart, like you could personally apologize for all what he went through, and the way he looked at you afterwards made you swallow with the intensity of it.

His fingers touched you between your legs, and although heat spread there as well as the rest of your body, you wished to feel like this forever. And when he pushed inside of you, kissing your face as you cried out with the sudden pain, nothing would ever be the same again.

Taglist:

Part 2

@watermeezer @thezombieprostitute @rnurse-kole

[what-gs-watching]

“I can. I will. I do."

EVERYONE, LISTEN: DOCTOR WHO IS SO GOOD RIGHT NOW. 

I’m currently really annoyed because Max removed a bunch of seasons of Kid’s Baking Championship while I was in the middle of one but that does not matter because seriously, Doctor who is SO fucking good right now. 

It’s that gif where 15 is describing something and he says something like “like WOW” I’m literally hearing it in my head. I’m fully 100% immersed and I love it.

SO - 

The Well

Wherein The Doctor and Belinda continue to attempt to get back to Earth only to land in the 51st century, playing along so they can use the vortex indicator AKA the vindicator to get a lock on their coordinates, hoping to pop off again, only to find themselves in a nightmare.

Ya know, usual Wednesday, or whatever. 

This episode was SO strong, you guys. You get some of the cute cheekiness, Belinda asking if they need to change clothes before leaving the TARDIS so they can play dress up again (to the tune of “Toxic” which, ends up being pretty on the fucking nose), and my favorite part, 15 clapping back at one of the soldiers who told him it was inappropriate to call him “babes”, saying “okay, hon.” CHEEK. And the exact interaction a woman would go through if they’d been the one to complain.

The Doctor clocked that fucking soldier from the jump. There’s always at least one misogynist asshole in the mix, friends.

Anyway. So they drop down to a planet and 15 tells them they’re there as like, secret shoppers, to make sure they’re completing their mission accurately or some drivel and it turns out the troop is there because there’s a base that hasn’t been heard from in over two weeks. So they go in, because of course they do. And they find a ton of dead bodies, as you’d expect, and a single heartbeat behind a locked door. 15 can never resist a locked door.

The creeping sense of unease was on point in this episode, y’all. I knew there was a callback to 10 but I didn’t know what it was going to be, and it didn’t disappoint. Turns out, they’ve landed on the planet Midnight, except like 400,000 years in the future to when 10 had been there and was almost mimicked out of existence by an entity he had absolutely no knowledge of. Like, what a DEEP cut. I love it. 

This time though, instead of the entity trying to steal your voice, it latches to your back and kills anyone who crosses directly behind you. Which is a fun new tact to try, I’m with it. Gotta switch things up, and all that. 

So they find that this poor cook, Aliss,  is the only one left on the base and 15 goes off to do his thing while Belinda tries to tend to the remaining woman’s injuries and then of course, it gets creepy because Belinda keeps seeing something and then the other soldiers are seeing something and it’s all just fear and paranoia and idiots start stepping behind her, and they die. 

The troop leader, Shaya, is trying to be as level headed as possible but guess what! Our favorite douche from earlier calls some protocol on her to try and take over because she’s listening to the Doctor and there’s a great scene where he’s moving around Aliss and everyone is screaming to try and get him to fucking hold still because she’s moving as he’s moving but like we’ve already established that if you go behind her you die and it’s chaos and tada! He gets caught behind her. Satisfying.

Anyway, the Doctor finally approaches Aliss to figure all this out and he can hear the entity whispering to him and man there was so close up on his cute mug while he listened to whatever it was trying to tempt him with and his face was devastated. Of course, we have no idea what he heard, but whatever it was, shook my boy, and I don’t like that.

BUT then! He theorizes that the entity is afraid of its own reflection so he has Shaya do some fancy shooting because the base was mining something liquid and she busts the pipe to create a liquid mirror, which separates the entity from Aliss and they run. I love when they run. 

Of course though, they can’t get away unscathed and before they can get out of the base, the entity attaches itself to Belinda. Y’all, the best part of this episode was Shaya sacrificing herself - she shoots Belinda to dislodge the entity which attaches itself to her, and she fucking books it toward the big giant mine and gracefully throws herself in. It’s amazingly selfless and she is an absolute badass and I love when random characters can shine. 

And so everything is fine, basically, except MRS. FLOOD shows up as some higher up that the troop reports to,  and everyone is annoyed about it. WHAT IS HER DEAL? She’s got to be a harbinger, right? Like, she must be working for the thing that The Toymaker alluded to? And the fucking Meep mentioned. She’s gotta be.

One thing I will say though; I liked the reemergence of the entity, but its original incarnation was more terrifying. Mimicking you until it eventually steals your VOICE? That’s definitely horrifying. But those uniforms though? Dope. They looked great the whole time.

Lucky Day

Ugh. Oh my god y’all, I kind of hated this one. Love hated. Hate loved? It was so ICKY. Stop making me feel things about society so overtly. I don’t like it, it makes me squirm. But also, wow.

Wherein, Ruby tries to get on with her life without the Doctor and meets a cute guy named Conrad that claims he met 15 when he was just a kid, and then saw Ruby with him while they were hunting some crazy monster. He gets him on her podcast and she’s obviously smitten and it seems like they’re gonna have a cute adventure together.

THEY DO NOT HAVE A CUTE ADVENTURE TOGETHER. 

I’m gonna admit it, they had me in the first half. They really, really did. Conrad seemed like a good dude who had a run in with the Doctor that changed his life. We’ve seen that before. Remember that time 10 stumbles into a support group for people who had an encounter with him? I have “Mr. Blue Sky” on one of my playlists because of that episode. Usually people who have a barely there brush with him are awed and are so wholesome.

So it was cute for a while, Ruby does his podcast and she’s honest with him about her experiences and they start dating. When Conrad had seen her with 15 they were fighting a monster called the Shreek that like, pukes on people to mark them as prey and then comes back to basically eat them, and Conrad had been marked and Ruby brings him an antidote so he’ll be safe and it’s nice. I’m like, okay girl, move on with your life, get it. Do your thing!

After their 5th date, he takes them to a village where some of his friends live and she wants to be normal but she starts noticing signs that maybe the Shreek has followed them, even though it’s supposed to be locked up at UNIT. So she does the smart thing and she gets Kate on the line for some reassurance and she declines their help, she recognizes maybe she just has PTSD and she tries to settle. And Conrad seems like the caring boyfriend until the power goes out and his friend goes missing from the pub and he admits that he never took the antidote that was given to him because he wanted to be brave like the Doctor.

So UNIT does get called in and Ruby goes out to try and find the random missing guy because they’ve seen a couple of Shreek’s now and even though she tells Conrad to stay inside, he doesn’t. UNIT storms in like their badass selves but something is weird because they’re not getting the readings they expect but everyone can SEE two Shreeks hanging out but like, something’s not right y’all and guess what!

OFF come the masks. It’s two of Conrad’s idiot friends in costumes. And everything gets horrible from there. He says the most fucked up shit to Ruby and he’s live streaming on his shitty podcast or whatever the whole time and he wants to convince everyone that UNIT is lying about aliens and protecting everyone? How does that even make sense? HE’S LITERALLY SEEN IT.

But he’s apparently a butthurt little white boy who never got enough praise and is trapped in an echo chamber and there is where I don’t appreciate being reminded of the state of the literal world because kdgskdskg it’s so close to what’s actually happening and it makes my fucking skin CRAWL.

So this asshole embarks on a mission to discredit UNIT and fuck them over and make a bunch of money for himself because he’s a shit stain and it’s just all really gross. Ya girl Ruby can’t catch a break. Why is it that the two episodes she’s basically helmed by herself have been SO heartbreaking? I really just can’t.

Obviously this idiot has an in at UNIT and so he uses his stooge to get access to the building but then he shoots the dude helping him because he’s literally irredeemable and he comes up to the platform where Kate and Ruby are to, what? Convince Kate into admitting the entire setup is a lie? Like, did he really think that was going to WORK? He knows it’s real! What the FUCK was he hoping to gain out of his stunt?

Here’s what I’m definitely here for though: Kate calls his bluff. She’s got the Shreek outside ready to be transported and she literally has no more fucks to give. So she lets it out. Because of course this idiot didn’t drink the antidote that would have saved him. She lets it loose, tells everyone to stay back, lets darwinism take the wheel. And I LOVE THAT. Was it morally wrong? Probably. Do I care in the slightest? No. People like that deserve the consequences of their actions. 

Ruby was legit like ‘don’t do this we should help him’ and that’s nice and she’s pure hearted but nah girl. At some point, we need to fight back. And Kate was fighting back. And she’s gonna sleep like a goddamn baby, as she should. Sometimes, you have to make the hard choices.

So this shit stain starts crying and begging and Ruby swoops in and tasers the Shreek and he has the BALLS to say something like ‘oh your special effects are improving’ but then mofo gets BIT and thank god. 

They throw his ass in a prison. And Ruby vows to try and get herself together, process her trauma, and I hope she does. 

But then, we see this fucking incel transported into the TARDIS to get a dressing down from a wonderfully smiling Doctor, saying “You’re special for all the wrong reasons” which is the understatement of the fucking century. But of course, the dickface just digs himself in deeper, even after 15 tells him he dies alone in a prison cell. He loves the echo chamber he’s chosen, and no amount of logic or opposing viewpoints is going to pull him out of it. He literally says “I reject your reality”. 

HOW THE FUCK DO WE DEAL WITH PEOPLE LIKE THAT? How did we get here? How do we get out of it? This episode gave me no answers and it just made my heart really fucking hurt. All I can do in my daily life is try to put it out of my mind because there are no solutions right now. Seriously, how do we combat this? 

And to top it off, here comes Mrs. fucking Flood to let this shitbag out of his cell so yeah, I’m now convinced she’s got to be a harbinger. And all of it is gross.

Hate-loved this episode. Emphasis on the hate. But fuck if it wasn’t good. And I can’t wait to see what happens next. I’m gonna need y’all to build me back up, 15, because you brought me way the fuck down. Can we at least get a really satisfying, happy ending to all of this since I won’t get one in real life? I trust you boo, don’t steer me wrong…

[m0use-trapped]

[You walk into the common area of the hospital, despite the mold that on the floor, walls, and even many of the patients there are many people playing different games with each other as if there is nothing wrong. There's one woman, poorly playing chess, who has almost no mold however. Her bright red headphones stand out from the crowd.]

[She glances at you as you walk by in the same way people tend to just when they hear a sound or sense movement, then returns to her game, but she quickly looks back.]

Theo?!

[In less then a moment she's hugging you, but quickly pulls away.]

Sorry, I'm supposed to ask if you want a hug first. It's just- I didn't... I didn't expect to see you. Are you alright? Eating enough, sleeping enough? How's... how's everything been... you're soo much bigger then I remember... you've also lost you're yellow...

[She's smiling, but it looks almost forced. There's sadness hidden behind her eyes.]

[Mousetrap does not seem to notice the woman at first, but as she calls the name, he startles and turns to face her. Before they can process what they're seeing, they're being hugged, and their entire body tenses up.]

[They don't manage to say anything yet. Their eyes are wide, darting over the face of the woman and trying to process her appearance. When she takes some distance, Edgar circles in front of Mousetrap's legs to create a buffer. Mousetrap reaches down to briefly rest a shaking hand on his head.]

I- I don't- I'm... sorry, what- what..?

[They should recognize her. They know that they should recognize her. But they can't. Because this isn't happening, because this can't be happening, because-]

[They take a forced, steadied breath.]

[Whether it's happening or not, the woman is in front of them. And they need to react. They take a step or two back, steady themself on an empty table behind them. Edgar follows to continue providing a barrier.]

[This isn't happening.]

[princeloww]

rivals plot summary (including content warnings)

What to expect from the new DT show, basically. Vague spoiler warning.

Tony Baddingham, DT's character, runs a British television company in the Cotswold area. He is a lord and, as you might guess, extremely rich. He tends to manipulate people and spend their money instead of his, so that when his ventures go wrong, other people are left scrambling to pick up their losses, while he's completely fine.

He has a long-lasting rivalry with the tory minister for sport, Rupert Campbell-Black. Rupert is extremely charming and athletic, and has a new mistress every week. He is divorced and does not see his two children very often. He's an athlete at heart, and adores his horses more than people --- but politics are a lot more stable than that.

The plot follows a very large cast of characters, which can be quite confusing at first. I had to go back and work out who Beattie Johnson was, for example, because I'd completely forgotten who she was and who she was involved with. There are lots of wives and husbands and mistresses and children, so it gets a bit complicated. Most of the characters are somehow linked to Corinium, Lord B (Tony Baddingham)'s TV company.

Tony hooks up with and employs an American director/writer, Cameron Cook. She moves to England to work at Corinium. Her arrival and bad attitude forms tension in the Coriunium workspace, and the tension furthers when Declan O'Hara, an Irish TV presenter and author, arrives at Corinium. He is a leftist (in contrast to the conservatives around him) and often discriminated against for being Irish. At times he is accused of having IRA links, mostly just to make him look bad. He and Tony's personalities clash, leading to a fall out at Corinium. Declan, in a drunken rage, quits his job and falls into a bit of a bad state.

Recovering from the publicity of his departure, Declan groups up with Rupert Campbell-Black and a few others (including Tony's brother, Basil Baddingham) to create a rival television company, Venturer, to challenge Corinium and Tony for the franchise.

There is a lot of romance and a LOT of subplots. Declan's daughter, Taggie O'Hara, is a dyslexic cook who struggles to find work due to her inability to read and write. She develops a crush on Rupert, who is considerably older. If I start talking about how much I despise their relationship, I will never stop. Taggie will probably be quite a main character in the show, I'm guessing. Declan also has a wife, Maud, who is a failed actress and spends all of his money.

Tony's wife, Monica, is very charitable and employs Taggie despite Declan and Tony's rivalry. She is aware that Tony is having an affair with Cameron Cook. An affair which, while Cameron is under his employment, becomes extremely toxic and abusive.

I'm sure the show will be rounded out a bit for modern audiences, but warnings wise (at least in the book), Rivals includes themes of sexual assault (particularly groping), misogyny, domestic abuse and much more. A big majority of the characters are rich and extremely corrupt. Tony, the baddie of the story, has some of the worst moments. There is a scene where he hits and throws a woman until she is bleeding, because she's 'betrayed' him. He also threatens to kill somebody. On a separate occasion, he tells a distraught SA victim not to tell anybody, because the attacker is somebody who he needs on his side, for money. There is also, obviously, given the kind of characters we follow, a lot of classism. Valerie Jones, for example, exists as a punching bag for a middle-class Northern woman who wants to be like the rich Southerners.

Tony might be the bad guy, but Rupert, who we're supposed to like, is also awful. He's Jilly Cooper's little golden boy, despite being horrible. I hate him so much but Jilly clearly loves him. He gropes eighteen-year-old girls and objectifies every single woman he speaks to.

Again, I'm sure a lot of this will be toned down, but watch with caution. The story has light moments and lots of romance, comedy and drama --- it just occasionally dips into dark themes. There will probably be lots of dinner parties, as every other scene is a giant social gathering. As much as I have issue with Jilly Cooper, she is absolutely excellent at writing large social scenes with dozens of different subplots combining.

There's also a weird theme of characters describing 14-year-olds (specifically 14-year-olds) in weird predatory ways. It's weird though, because a strange amount of characters do it -- to the degree where I think it's just Jilly Cooper describing them weirdly. She acts as though being a teenage girl is a woman's prime and that she is wasted after that. She has also gone on the record to state that she hates feminists. I'm not a giant fan, frankly.

On a lighter note, if you want to tell who's supposed to be a good guy, just remember that the good guys always quote poetry and like animals.

Despite its many flaws and dark themes, Rivals really is an interesting read. Jilly Cooper says the weirdest, most fucked up things ("she's like a little sister", thinks Rupert, right after staring at the 18-yo's ass) but the story really supports itself. It's interesting, gossipy, raunchy and very well written. Cooper is an expert at big scenes, and works so well with the giant ensemble cast. I disagree with a lot of things she says, but I think the show will be really good. I'm super excited and can't wait to watch it. There's a particular scene with David's character that I'm looking forward to; while in the book it was a bit scary, because we know how Jilly is with teenagers, there's a scene where Tony drives Declan(his enemy)'s daughter home, and is actually very nice to her before realising who she is. I think DT will do this scene a lot better, and it might actually be a bit endearing. Idk, I don't wanna jinx it, but I think it has potential to be a sweet scene, with the charm DT typically brings to these roles.

If anyone has any plot-related questions, or about David's character or anything, please feel free to ask! I'm more than happy to ramble about this book, because I do really like it. I see and dislike its flaws, but personally I am able to look past them and appreciate the story and characters. They're all horrible people, but let's be honest. They're politicians and rich, tory lords in the 1980s. They were always going to be horrible. You can like something that contains problematic characters without necessarily, immediately condoning and agreeing with those things. People online and especially on places like TikTok seem to struggle with this concept, but I'm a firm believer in media literacy and accepting flaws. You can like something that is bad. You can like villains. It's fine.

Declan is my favourite btw. Live laugh love Declan O'Hara