#tendou hurt/comfort | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

milktei · 1 year ago

Text

Homecoming

Ushijima Wakatoshi x gn!reader

Genre: Sickfic, hurt comfort

Warnings: Slight manga spoilers

Requests: Closed*

a/n: hello hello! (is acting like i haven’t been gone for forever), can you believe i found this just sitting on a random note in my phone 90% done???? i literally wrote this over a year ago and never found the motivation to finish it ;-; due to its age toshi might be a bit ooc.

anyways, i’m not entirely back yet but i keep seeing lovely comments and reblogs that just make me want to start writing again ;-; maybe with the haikyuu movie being released soon my motivation will amp back up. ALSO i’m gonna try to start reblogging regularly again

*request box is still technically “closed” but if anyone has some genshin or *ahem* Baldurs gate 3 requests, i may be inclined to write if they pique my interest :)

enjoy!

If there was one thing that you knew for an absolute fact. it would be that volleyball would always be his main priority.

You knew this well before you started dating him, it was part of the reason you refused to admit your true feelings for him. You refused to take him away from his first love. Something that he was so visibly passionate about.

So you stayed on the sidelines, watching wistfully as the boy you had a crush on rose higher and higher, while you stood on the ground looking up in awe. This was comfortable, you were content with just watching and admiring. It was all you thought you were able to do.

Until he had asked you out first.

You had genuinely thought that Tendou was joking when he had told you that the Ushijima Wakatoshi saw you as anything more than one of the team’s managers.

His face was always devoid of emotion. Your interactions were limited to him nodding in thanks as you gave him a towel or water bottle, or him humming in acknowledgment as you relayed to him the notes you took after the most recent practice match.

And yet you found yourself standing in front of him, just outside the gym after practice, heart absolutely racing as he asked you out on a date.

Your first date was awkward to say the least. Having never spoken outside of club activities, you found it hard to keep a conversation flowing as you two sat in a cafe sipping your drinks.

He had walked you back to your dorm that day, but before you could go in, he had grabbed your hand.

You stared in shock at the large hand enveloping yours, “Ushijima?”

Suddenly, you felt a tiny gust of wind and a slight pressure against your forehead. You could only stammer dumbly as you realized the pressure was his lips.

He pulled away after a moment. He was heavily avoiding eye contact and turned his head to the side, but you could see the tips of his ears turning red.

“I don’t know much when it comes to this stuff. But I know I would like to go out again… if that’s okay with you of course.”

You gaped at the boy in front of you “I- um we…” you took a deep breath to centre yourself and smiled “Yes I would like to go out with you again Ushijima.”

Your relationship progressed quite fast after that. More dates, hanging out with him and Tendou in their dorm.

You were there for everything, cheering him on during games, you were the first person he would seek out when he won, you comforted him after a loss.

Your relationship lasted through high school and even university. It wasn’t long before you two ended up moving in together.

When Wakatoshi found his place with the Schweiden Adlers you were ecstatic. You had also just landed a great job and it felt like your two were simply cruising through life with ease.

Unfortunately your seemingly perfect life would never last forever.

Being in the v-league, volleyball seemed to fill his schedule more now than ever. Constant practice, games outside of the city even in other countries sometimes.

You hardly saw Ushijima anymore despite living with him. Even when you did, he was tired or just about to leave for practice.

It felt like you were pushed back into the sidelines. Watching hopelessly as he rose higher and higher, to places where you could not reach. It was no longer comfortable, you could no longer look in awe, but in despair as you watch him slip from the already loose grasp you had on him.

You couldn’t even remember the last time you went on a date. Every time you mentioned doing something in his free time he had brushed you off.

Which led you to now.

You woke up to an empty bed yet again. It was your day off so you weren’t rushing to get out of bed.

Yet you felt off.

The dryness in your mouth and throat is what you felt first. Then how runny your nose was. Finally, the cold sweat you were experiencing.

You were definitely sick.

You groaned to yourself and pulled the blanket to your chin. Hoping that you could possibly sleep it off.

Yet your efforts were in vain. After what felt like hours of trying to fall back asleep you realized that you were just going to feel even more miserable without anything to eat or at least drink.

You pushed yourself up onto your elbows and immediately regretted it. The world spun around you and your entire body shook. You collapsed back onto your pillow and panted at the exertion it took.

As you caught your breath you turned your head towards your bedside table, where your phone sat charging.

Weakly, you lifted your arm and with a bit of effort you were able to grab your phone. As it turned on you winced at how bright the screen was and with bleary eyes you managed to open your contacts.

The words seemed to blend together as you searched through your contacts, you nearly sobbed in relief as your eyes finally focused on the name of your best friend.

You clicked the call button and dropped you hand to beside your ear, preparing for the way your throat would undoubtedly hurt as you spoke.

After a couple rings you heard the person on the other side pick up and you quickly began speaking, desperate to get them to come quickly so that you could hopefully feel better.

“Hey, I’m sorry if you’re busy but do you think you can bring me some drinks and maybe food? i’m not feeling the best and I don’t know if I can get up at all.”

The person on the other end of the phone began talking but you could barely decipher it as your head spun and your body shivered despite how warm you were.

“-/n….y/n?”

You froze at the deep voice on the other side of the phone. You pulled away an looked at the screen, nearly breaking down at the sight of Wakatoshi’s name instead of your friends. Quickly you put it back against your ear

“Ah I’m sorry Toshi. I meant to call a friend you’re probably busy you don’t have to come back home.” you said quickly, actually sitting up as you rambled nervously, reprimanding yourself for interrupting his practice.

You had called and texted him during practice before. At one point he was fine with it, responding during breaks or calling you back once practice had finished. But lately you had been greeted with one worded responses, or you were just ignored.

One time you even tried to pry once he got home from practice, asking him about his odd lack of response. That day, he had turned to glare at you.

“I’m busy y/n. I don’t have time for things like that.”

“You’re sick?” your thoughts were interrupted by his voice again. He used a tone much gentler than the one he had used that day.

“A little bit, nothing to worry about I can just call-“ you cut yourself off with a harsh cough, unable to hold back the whimper as your throat throbbed in protest.

“I’m coming home.”

Whether from his words or the fever you couldn’t tell, but a chill ran down your spine

“N-no toshi you don’t have to I’ll be fine don’t leave practice just because of me”

“I’ll stop by the store for some ingredients don’t get out of bed.”

And with that the call ended. Slowly, you took the phone away from your ear and looked at it in shock. He was leaving practice early. Something you weren’t aware he was willing to ever do.

At least not recently.

Only when the shock settled, did you realize just how much your body was protesting you sitting up. So, despite your better judgment, you lied back down, waiting in nervous anticipation for him to come home.

What might have been half an hour felt like forever as you laid in bed. Shivering underneath the comforter despite sweating profusely, rubbing your nose raw from having to blow it constantly, all whilst it felt like you were spinning.

In your haze you didn’t even hear the front door or you bedroom door open. How could you when your body demanded all the attention you had?

Wakatoshi stood frozen in the doorway, a plastic bag hanging off his arm, silent as he took in the state you were in.

How hadn’t he noticed before he left? you couldn’t have possibly entered this state within the couple of hours he was gone.

He felt a tug of unease pull at his heart and willed himself to walk up to you.

“y/n,” he called softly. sitting on your side of the bed.

You flinched at the sound of his voice not knowing he was in the room. Slowly, you opened your eyes and winced at the light in the room.

“Toshi,” you croaked pathetically.

His face softened and he brushed your damp hair away from your face, frowning when he felt how warm your forehead was.

“Hey,” he greeted, he lifted a hand and that’s when you saw a thermometer from the medicine cabinet in his hand “can you open your mouth please?“

Weakly, you did as he asked, and as it sat in your mouth, he quickly walked towards the master bathroom. Mumbling something about a towel.

You didn’t hear him however as you turned your head back towards the ceiling and already felt your eyes drooping again.

You only came to when you felt something cool against your forehead, you opened your eyes to see Toshi looking down at you with furrowed eyebrows. The thermometer beeped and when he looked at the reading the crease deepened.

Toshi disappeared for a moment again, making his presence known when he began to take the comforter off of you.

You whined as he did so, shivering even harder as air hit your body. You even sat up to try and grab it back.

“‘s cold toshi,” you slurred.

He was quick to place a thinner sheet on top of you “I know dear, but we have to get your body temperature down.”

As you pulled the blanket closer Wakatoshi opened the bag he brought with him. You heard the rattle of a pill container and then the crack of a bottle being opened. Wakatoshi turned to you and held out some medicine and water.

You reached out a shaky hand to take the medicine, placing the pill in your mouth. Wakatoshi helped you hold the bottle, noting how weak your arms were.

You sighed in temporary relief when you finished drinking, glad that your mouth felt less dry.

Wakatoshi allowed a small relieved smile to cross his face and he quickly helped you lay back down.

“I’ll make you some food, stay here.”

Once he was sure you were comfortable he made his way to the kitchen quickly getting his ingredients ready.

It was only when he was midway through washing some rice when he took a moment to pause.

When was the last time he had cooked for you?

Wakatoshi continued his task albeit feeling guilty thinking about how you’ve been the one cooking and eating dinner alone for some time now. It used to be a shared responsibility. Now he usually came home late so you would put a plate aside for him or he would go out to eat with the team.

He was still deep in though as he pushed the bedroom door open with his back, a tray consisting of a bowl of rice porridge and a cup of tea left a trail small trail of steam as he walked.

You were asleep but woke easily at the sound of his footsteps. It took a moment for your eyes to focus on him.

He gestured with the tray, “Do you think you can eat?”

You looked at the food, perfectly plated and garnished, your mouth watering slightly at the savoury smell.

“I think so. At least a little bit.”

He helped you sit up, and when he saw the weakness still in your arms he fed you himself.

You hummed contently at the first bite of food. You had missed this more than you thought you did.

After about half the bowl was done and your tea finished, you signalled that you stomached as much as your body would allow. Now with your body temperature having gone down and your stomach full you could feel yourself becoming less and less loopy. You watched quietly as he put the tray on the bedside table. When he was finished with that, he sat still on the bed and stared at the wall.

You looked at his face, despite it deceptively lacking emotion, you knew better than anyone else that something was bothering him.

However before you could ask he began to speak

“Why wasn’t I the first person you contacted when you realized that you were sick?”

You froze, looking down in your lap fiddling wIth a loose thread in the blanket.

“…Well…you’ve been busy as of late….I didn’t think it was important enough to take you out of practice. Someone less busy would have probably been willing to come.”

He slowly turned to face you. “You didn’t think that your wellbeing was important enough?”

You shrugged, “Well volleyball is always going to be your biggest priority. I’m just sick it’ll pass.”

Obvious distress crossed Ushijima’s face “y/n, you are my main priority.”

You paused. Perhaps it was time to tell him how you were really feeling instead of dancing around the subject.

“…It hasn’t felt that way lately.” you say hesitantly, your voice small.

Wakatoshi faltered. You kept looking down, almost scared to look him in the eye.

“I was content with that at first, your love of volleyball is admirable, it’s was drew me to you at first. But it always made you seem unattainable. When you asked me on that date all those years ago I was over the moon,” you paused to clear your throat huffing in annoyance as your sickness interrupted you.

“But I can only endure so much Toshi. Nowadays it feels like your going where I can’t reach. You’re always busy, which is understandable for a professional athlete… I just wish it wasn’t to the point where I’m worried about your reaction if I were to try to talk to you.”

There was a shift in the mattress. Then familiar arms that you had been longing for wrapped tightly around you.

“Toshi you’re gonna get sick.”

“It’s fine,”

“but-“

“I’m sorry y/n.”

you stiffened but stayed quiet to let him speak.

“You’ve done so much for me without complaint and I have done so little in return. i’m sorry for letting it get to this point. It took you getting this sick for me to realize.”

A stormy look crossed his face, “I… I’ve been struggling to balance work and home, in return I’ve been neglecting you and letting how tired I am influence my reactions. you don’t deserve that. you are my first priority y/n, I don’t know what I would do without you.”

You sniffled and wiped a tear that fell from your face. You didn’t even know you were crying. For a man usually so quiet and stoic, he always knew what to say to you when he needed to. It was always so endearing to you.

“If I had known you were going to take it this well I would’ve said something earlier,” you say softly.

He smiles sadly, “I haven’t been making it seem that way hmm?”

You shake you’re head but smile back, “no”

He sighs to himself but places a gentle kiss against your forehead much like how he did all those years ago. Your eyes flutter shut and you make let out a pleased sigh. You were much more comfortable than you were when you first woke up.

“We’ll talk more once you get better. I promise,” He eventually says. holding you a bit closer to him.

You nodded and snuggled closer to his chest. While it wasn’t an immediate fix, it was a start.

“Sounds good to me Toshi.”

He smiled down at you “Sleep, I’ll be here when you wake up.”

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu reader insert #haikyuu oneshot #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu!! x reader #ushijima x you #ushijima imagine #ushijima x reader #ushijima wakatoshi #wakatoshi x reader #haikyuu wakatoshi #hq angst #haikyuu angst

533 notes · View notes

suyaaachin · 11 months ago

Text

MULTIPLE CHARACTERS

when he's your rival

ft. kei tsukishima, tooru oikawa, tetsurou kuroo, atsumu miya

irrevocable words

ft. osamu miya, tetsurou kuroo, keiji akaashi, kei tsukishima

defending s/o from jealous girls

ft. tetsurou kuroo, tobio kageyama, kei tsukishima

protecting their crush on a subway

ft. keiji akaashi, wakatoshi ushijima, kei tsukishima

getting stuck in the locker room

ft. hajime iwaizumi, kei tsukishima, tetsurou kuroo, keiji akaashi

insecure s/o reacting to a confession part 2

ft. kotaro bokuto, tobio kageyama, kei tsukishima

part 2; ft. hajime iwaizumi, satori tendou, issei matsukawa

accidental ambush

ft. kotaro bokuto, tooru oikawa, wakatoshi ushijima, tetsurou kuroo

the morning after

ft. tobio kageyama, osamu miya, hajime iwaizumi, satori tendou

comforting their s/o after a major surgery

ft. shinsuke kita, rintaro suna, osamu miya, atsumi miya

asking them to pose for your drawing

ft. tetsurou kuroo, keiji akaashi, satori tendou

turn and keep going

ft. tetsurou kuroo, hajime iwaizumi, keiji akaashi

spell it out for me

ft. kei tsukishima, yaku morisuke, tooru oikawa

first time holding hands

ft. koushi sugawara, hajime iwaizumi, tadashi yamaguchi, keiji akaashi

s/o who cries a lot

ft. keiji akaashi, kei tsukishima, koushi sugawara

calling them by their full name

ft. daichi sawamura, hajime iwaizumi, keiji akaashi, morisuke yaku

too hot to cuddle

ft. atsumu miya, osamu miya, tetsurou kuroo, kenma kozuma, tooru oikawa, hajime iwaizumi, kiyoomi sakusa

back cracking

ft. atsumu miya, kei tsukishima, hajime iwaizumi, tetsurou kuroo, rintarou suna, shinsuke kita, shoyo hinata, tooru oikawa, keishin ukai

is your girlfriend single?

ft. atsumu miya, rintaro suna, kotaro bokuto

only love can hurt like this

ft. tetsurou kuroo, kotaro bokuto, tooru oikawa, hajime iwaizumi

how they comfort you

ft. hajime iwaizumi, kotaro bokuto, kiyoomi sakusa

switch and bending machine

ft. kei tsukishima, kenma kozume, rintaro suna, tobio kageyama, eita semi, tetsurou kuroo, lev haiba, hajime iwaizumi, keiji akaashi

"oh no, you've got it all wrong. she does bite." part 2

ft. inarizaki, shiratorizawa

part 2; ft. karasuno, nekoma

domesticity with them

ft. hajime iwaizumi, tetsurou kuroo, keiji akaashi, aran ojiro, wakatoshi ushijima

s/o having a panic attack at night

ft. yu nishinoya, kei tsukishima, tetsurou kuroo

falling asleep on him part 2 part 3 part 4

ft. kei tsukishima, keiji akaashi, hajime iwaizumi

part 2; ft. kenma kozume, tetsurou kuroo

part 3; ft. tooru oikawa, atsumu miya

part 4; ft. tadashi yamaguchi, wakatoshi ushijima, osamu miya

accidentally hitting them in the balls part 2

ft. kotaro bokuto, tooru oikawa

part 2; ft. shoyo hinata, tetsurou kuroo

best friends

ft. shoyo hinata, satori tendou, kotaro bokuto and keiji akaashi

shutting you up (lovingly) part 2

ft. tooru oikawa, hajime iwaizumi, atsumu miya

part 2; ft. issei matsukawa, keiji akaashi, kotaro bokuto, rintaro suna

255 notes · View notes

sunarots · 1 month ago

Text

bed chem ━━━ iwaizumi hajime

13. first impressions ♡

cw. sick mention

“I’m so sorry.” The words slip out before you can stop them, feeling the tears start to well in your eyes. Your cheeks start to burn when he looks between you and the sick on his pillow. “I can clean it.”

Iwaizumi shrugs his shoulders, setting a glass of iced water by your head. “It’s okay, these things happen. You keep resting, I’ll clean that.”

You cautiously push yourself up, the room starting to spin at the action. Rolling onto the other side of the bed, your hand flies up to start massaging your temples.

“Do you like toast? I can make you some. It’s easy on the stomach. Or cereal?” He collects the pillow from beside your head and patiently waits for your answer.

“It’s okay, I can leave.” Despite your words, you lay still on his bed. You try to will yourself to move, but your stomach keeps you pinned to the mattress. “Eventually.”

Iwaizumi shrugs his shoulders. “That’s okay, take your time. Are you wanting some food or clean clothes?”

Turning to face him properly, you see the concern trying to hide behind his face. “Um, I think I’m okay.”

“If you need anything, give me a call.” He turns and makes his way to the bedroom door.

“Wait.” You don’t think you’ve ever seen someone move so fast. “Thank you. I’m really sorry, I think some of the painkillers must still be in my system and my body started freaking out, y’know?”

Iwaizumi rests the clean side of the pillow against the carpet, walking over to his desk chair and swivelling it around to face you. “How is the pain? Any better?”

“Mostly. Still some bruising, but they don’t hurt unless I move a certain way.” You carefully roll onto your side to face him, curling your legs back up. “I didn’t even drink that much, really. Like, two shots and three or four vodkas.”

“That’s…” Iwaizumi lets out a soft laugh. “Sorry, that’s more vodka than Oikawa can drink. He’s such a lightweight.”

“Really? Sad I missed it.” The thought of doing shots with Oikawa and watching him throw it up in an alley five minutes later sounds hilarious.

“It’ll happen plenty more times before he learns, y/n. You’ll see it.” He seems confident in his thoughts. “It’s embarrassing for him, but funny for us. It’s great. And then when he throws up on the sofa, I can get mad at him.”

A laugh slips out at his comment. Your smile fades as you think of a few moments ago. “But I just threw up on your bed… Why aren’t you mad at me?”

The way Iwaizumi straightens up at the question almost makes you regret asking. “It’s only a pillowcase. It’s easy to clean. That sofa is a pain to clean. Besides, you did it in your sleep. He knows he feels sick and just refuses to move until it’s too late.”

Another laugh. “Okay, that makes sense. It sounds like you drew the short straw on roommates.”

He smiles. “Yeah, guess so… Do you have a roommate?”

You shake your head, the movement only slight. “I live in a small apartment a couple roads away from campus. My roommate back in Tokyo was so nice, I miss her. She was the year above us and also a figure skater, she had an ad up and it was an insane coincidence. I miss her.”

“Pairs? Or was she competition?”

“Pairs. Typically fourth years are asked to step back from clubs and, though most do, she didn’t. It was a boy from Miyagi, actually. It’s quite funny.”

“Would I know him?” Iwaizumi’s gets comfortable in his chair, sliding down in it and spreading his legs.

You shrug one of your shoulders. “Maybe. Tendou Satori. He said he knows someone on the team but I don’t-“

“Ushiwaka. No fucking way, Tendou’s in Tokyo? Is he doing well?” A smile peaks out onto Iwaizumi’s friends. “We competed every year. We were the two powerhouses before another school took us over.”

“Did you ever make it to comp?”

The smile widens a little. “The NCAA? No, never. Not until college. But we have Ushiwaka now. Man, I can’t believe you and Tendou were living it up.”

“Were you friends?”

“Not really. We talked before and after the competitions, he obviously never played, but he was always there to support. Like Oikawa, he knew him better.” Iwaizumi shrugs his shoulders and looks to the floor. “Crazy.”

“Yeah, small world.” Cautiously pushing yourself up so your back can rest against his cushioned headboard, you purse your lips together and try to fight back the urge to puke. “Did you gave a good night?”

“It was okay. Not what I had in mind, but fine.”

“Where did you sleep?”

“The sofa.”

You cringe at the thought. “Oh, god. I’m so sorry, you should’ve kicked me out.”

“Why would I kick you out? You were drunk and sick, I wasn’t going to make you walk home or get a taxi.”

You want to hate him for the way he acted when you first met (and for that one time he hit a puck at you), you really do, but he’s not making it very easy for you. He drove you home after the accident, let you sleep on his bed when you were drunk, isn’t kicking you out and has brushed over the fact you threw up on his pillow. Not to mention he’s trying his hardest to help you with figure skating.

Maybe first impressions aren’t so important after all.

masterlist. previous | next

summary. when an unfortunate incident kicks you out of your university and risks your reputation as one of the top figures skater in the country, you find your place in sendai. but when you discover they only have one rink, designated to their a-league hockey team, your chance at a comeback slips from your grasp. your only in is with the captain of the hockey team. the issue with that? he couldn’t care less who you are.

taglist (48/50). @standcom @thoughtswithbbg @aboutkiyoomi @angtopia @yunavx @celestialm1nd @surfeitstar @xiaoquanquans @istann @aldebrana @mdmraz @softpia @wakashudou @mo072806 @90s-belladonna @rrosiitas @suuunarin @chaotic-neutral-ig @nanasrkives @hrithi11 @itsdragonius @sexylexy12 @0rangej0e @wordsofelie @p4lli @a-sorrowful-tune @iluv-ace @matt444nixi @charleslec-airlines @meekydeeks @amterasuu @rabbitcola @sickpatientt @sophiahearttss @himec @torkorpse @nscuit @labsbedamned @iloveiwaizumihajime @snoowply @followingmysunsposts @navymacaroons @lover-no-lover61 @shozuken @sunaispretty @luvvcho @idexmids @luckybibucky @h3xi2g0n3 @soy-garbage

#bed chem #haikyuu smau #hq smau #iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi hajime smau #iwaizumi hajime x f!reader #iwaizumi hajime x fem!reader #iwaizumi hajime x female reader #iwaizumi hajime x y/n #iwaizumi hajime x you #iwaizumi hajime x reader #hajime iwaizumi smau #hajime iwaizumi #hajime iwaizumi x f!reader #hajime iwaizumi x fem!reader #hajime iwaizumi x female reader #hajime iwaizumi x y/n #hajime iwaizumi x you #hajime iwaizumi x reader

75 notes · View notes

lizzy06 · 10 months ago

Text

Tendou Satori x Reader Fic Recs!!(Tumblr/AO3/Wattpad)

Haikyuu! Fic Rec Masterlist

Shiratorizawa Fic Rec Masterlist

Enough for Two/tumblr link ✨✨by @alkhale (oneshot, soulmate au, mute! reader, friends to lovers, fluff) [COMPLETED]

Indecipherable Secret Code ✨by @oreosmama (oneshot, fluff, humor)You could finally say you loved him back!…In private. You were just so nervous of how the team would react if you ever said it in public, but luckily Tendou has just the solution.[COMPLETED]

No One but You ✨by @oreosmama (oneshot, slight smut) While managing at your boyfriend’s volleyball game, a nice, blond player from another school approaches and compliments you. He had only been friendly, so why was Tendou acting so weird?[COMPLETED]

the grey area by @ahtsumu (college au, student council au, enemies to lovers, fluff, angst) tendou thinks you need to live a little. you think he’s the devil incarnate. [COMPLETED]

Chocolate Croissants ✨✨by @seokiloquy (oneshot, time skip, humor) Just you and the owner of the new chocolatery beside you and the dilapidated building of your shop.[COMPLETED]

soulmate au ✨by @karasuno-writings (oneshot, soulmate au, fluff)

The mark by @honeypirate (oneshot, soulmate au, fluff) when you first touch your soulmate it leaves a mark, a birthmark will bloom under the skin in the shape of the touch within 24 hours max.[COMPLETED]

Love and Ghosts ✨by @t0wnspersonb (oneshot, fluff)The volleyball team decides to take a trip to the mountains for a training camp. One night as everyone is settling down Tendou decides to tell a scary story, and you, being the complete scaredy cat that you are, couldn’t handle it. But your favorite middle blocker doesn’t hesitate to comfort you… both times.[COMPLETED]

Sweet like Chocolate by FreedomHatesPeace (smut, fluff, angst, slowburn) L/n Y/n, an aspiring novelist moved to Tokyo half a year ago to pursue her dreams and escape troubles. She has been hired by one of her dream publishers to assist other authors with writing their novels, however her editor finally presents Y/n with the opportunity to write her own novel. However... she wants her to write a romantic smut series!? [COMPLETED]

A wrong guess ✨by @mimi-cee-hq (oneshot, fluff) When Tendou sees you watching their practice, he makes a wrong guess and thinks you like Ushijima. But what he doesn't expect was for this timid girl to fall for him.[COMPLETED]

Tendou Satori x (gn) reader✨ by @justwonder113 (oneshot, fluff, friends to lovers)All your life you have been in love with Tendou but you were afraid of ruining your friendship so you decided to keep your distance for a while, not realizing it would hurt the certain redhead in more ways than you could imagine.[COMPLETED]

a monster & his soulmate-1 , a monster & his soulmate--2 @bakibakini ( soulmate au, fluff)[COMPLETED]

Songs and Coffee by @t0wnspersonb (oneshot, fluff, love confession) Tendou finally gets an idea to confess to you after so long.[COMPLETED]

Girl Talk by seamus_finnigan (oneshot, fluff)Tendou overhears an unexpected conversation at the vending machines. [COMPLETED]

The Inbetween ✨by arlert_slut (oneshot, childhood friends, friends to lovers, angst with happy ending, smut) You and Tendou have been best friends since before you can remember. You share everything with each other and over the years have fallen into a friendship with clear boundaries but intimate values. When you start to notice Tendou growing more distant, you begin to worry that he’s keeping more secrets than you thought.[COMPLETED]

Watch It Burn and Rust by kaientai (oneshot, chapter 2 is smut, aoba johsai manager! reader, training camp) The tension between you has been there since the first time you laid eyes on him—growing stronger with each meeting. But what happens once you stretch something beyond its limits?[COMPLETED]

Beauty and the Satori by @lostcoves (oneshot, fluffy, Lil angst, beauty and the beast play! Au) tendou satori has a massive crush on you. could performing with you in beauty and the beast be his chance to finally get with you?[COMPLETED]

Unprofessional , pt.2by @jackrrabbit (office au, smut in pt.2)The new hire you’re supposed to be training at your office job is a little too attached for his own good…or yours.[COMPLETED]

on a whim [Shiratorizawa x Reader; Tendou x Reader] by @mitsuki-murakami (oneshot, humor) It's your birthday.[COMPLETED]

Bad Influence by december_dream (series, enemies to lovers, smut, angst with happy ending) A series about your relationship with one Satori Tendō, starting with high school and ending with your wedding. [COMPLETED]

148 notes · View notes

ushouldwatchhaikyuu · 11 months ago

Note

Could you make headcanons abt a confident!chubby!poc!reader. Like when i search up haikyui x chubby reader all i get are hurt comfort stories about being insecure, and like everyone gets insecure but it gets to the point where people think everyone who isnt built like a coke bottle hates themselves 🙄. AND DONT GET ME STARTED ON THE ONES MADE FOR POC!!! Cause why are they all so stereotypical?! Like just because im black doesn’t mean im sexy redds clone😭🙏🏽.

Anyways back to the main plot🤭. I was thinking like reader with a style that has y2k/mcbling aspects (lowrise jeans, crop tops, chunky jewlery, etc) and is super bubbly. And back to he chubby thing, like ok. When i read x chubby readers, its always like fat ass and a lil bit of tummy, which is fine cause some people are built like that but not a lot🧍🏽‍♀️🧍🏽‍♀️. Like i have thighs, big boobs(pray for my spine🫡🙏🏽😭) and tummy, but I also have hipdips that dig into my butt bro. So like yea🧍🏽‍♀️. Haikyuu headcanons (you can pick the characters you think will fit🫶🏽) x confident!chubby!poc! reader

(i apologize for the yap session i have lots of opinions on this topic)

Chubby!POC!Reader x Haikyuu Headcanons

ft: literally like half the team members of all the main teams

warnings: cussing

oh pal dw about it lmfao i get what u mean!! i hope these hcs satiate ur cravings 👍

since u didn't ask for any specific characters i just came up with a few hcs that i think could apply to multiple characters lol

credits: divider .

He lowkey likes it when people look at his partner and assume he can't carry them, but then he just goes "oh yeah? lemme just-" *picks u up and puts u on his shoulder without a single hint of struggling* 👍

Ushijima, Bokuto, Kuroo, Atsumu, Sakusa, Iwaizumi (but he wouldn't say it outloud lmao).

Can't pick you up? No problem, they wanna be the ones getting picked up anyways.

Yachi, Yamaguchi, Kenma, Tendou (u cant convince me he doesnt like getting picked up)

Can't pick you up? unacceptable. They're begging your forgiveness and spending hours at the gym until they can do it. Just give them a few months.

Nishinoya, Hinata, Hoshiumi, Kageyama, Terushima, Levi.

Became an absolute pro at finding your exact foundation shade. Like, has your exact match pinned down. Could just look at a foundation color and go "yeah that's their shade". Some may think it's a bit weird, but honestly it's so helpful sometimes.

Ushijima's autistic ass, Tsukishima, Sugawara, Asahi, Yachi, Sakusa and Osamu maybe?

Gets so excited over fashion, makeup, jewelry and all that stuff. Goes shopping/thrifting with you, pays for your nails and is very enthusiastic whenever you ask for their opinion on your outfits. Also lets you give them makeovers sometimes. They will absolutely serve cunt if you ask them to.

Hinata, Nishinoya, Atsumu, Yamaguchi, Tendou, Kuroo, Bokuto, Oikawa, Yachi, maybe Levi lmao. Hot take but Ushijima would absolutely do it too.

Does encourage your passions and interest and stuff but their sense of fashion is that of a rock. If rocks wore crocs with socks. Still go shopping with u tho and they make up for their lack of advice by paying for all ur stuff. They spoil u so fricking much.

Tsukishima, Kageyama, Akaashi, Iwaizumi, Suna, Daichi, Sakusa, Ennoshita, Kenma.

Paints/writes/does photography and will make the most beautiful jaw dropping mouth watering gorgeous absolutely stunning works of art portraying you in such a beautifully realistic way. They get your colors and shapes and curves so perfectly well, it's incredible– it shows just how much attention they pay to every little detail about you, and how much they love all of it.

Daichi, Asahi, Ushijima, Osamu, Ennoshita, Sakusa, Yamaguchi, Yachi, maybe Kageyama.

238 notes · View notes

reviiely · 19 days ago

Text

Haikyuu boy headcanons: mental health edition because it’s late and I can’t sleep

Tame ones here, TW worthy ones under the cut

Hinata— his quiet moments are always a bit off. He always wonders if he’s enough, if he can really do what he promised Kageyama. Sometimes, money’s tight. Sometimes, he doesn’t see his mom for weeks. He’s tired, but volleyball helps. And his friends.

Daichi— went through his own fair share of self esteem issues, but had good support and now dishes out wisdom like an old man and inspirational Pinterest combined.

Kageyama— pretty lonely as a kid, even with Miwa and his grandpa. Got even worse in junior high. Has his quiet moments but generally is okay when things are happening.

Iwaizumi— ignores his own health in favour of taking care of Oikawa, and learns the hard way to scale back. Hates scaling back so much that he dips back into ignoring his own mind until Oikawa becomes the one taking care of him, and then Iwa’s too scared to let himself go that far again.

Ushijima— self worth issues. Somehow both scared of failure and assured of his own victory at the same time. Enjoys self care as a routine and hates himself when he runs out of spoons to continue those routines. Doesn’t understand why he feels this way. Thinks it’s irrational.

Tendou— tries to take the “guess monster” moniker in stride and plays into it, but it still affects him. Wonders sometimes if his pride and reputation is worth it if he could just be himself with someone, truly and unabashedly. Finds comfort in being friends with Ushijima.

Semi— writes songs to process his feelings and has more often than not realized some things about himself as he writes. Performance anxiety, a bit of anger issues, mood swings.

Kita— king of self care. His routine is his all and he adjusts them when he thinks it needs changing, like how he adjusts his serving portions as he grows. Sometimes runs out of spoons but has a routine for low spoon days too.

Suga— has thought about suicide more than once, but never goes through with it. Doesn’t like the implications and doesn’t think it’s worth it. Plus, he still sort of believes in the “but you have so much to live for!” argument and also promised himself that it wouldn’t go too far.

Oikawa— once the concept of self harm was exposed to him, he’s wanted to try it. He’s a bit morbid with it. Doesn’t try anything with knives and skin but presses on his collection of never ending bruises. Hurts himself with overworking instead. Forgets to eat until Iwa reminds him.

#we in a Mood™️ tonight fam #mental health #mental illness #haikyuu #haikyuu boy headcanons #haikyuu headcanons #Haikyu #headcanon #headcanons #tw: sh #tw: sucidal thoughts #I think?#anyways

34 notes · View notes

kayoticworld · 3 months ago

Text

How the Haikyuu Boys would react to you (not so calmly) asking them to kill a spider Pt. 3

Pt. 3 - Noya, Hinata, Tanaka, Tendou, Daichi

Nishinoya

Chaos.

This chaotic boy heard you scream.

He tries to be your hero.

"Don't worry Y/N! I'll be your knight in shining armor! I'll safe you!"

But honestly? He has NO clue.

He tries to grab the spider, to carry it outside.

Accidently rips one of his legs off and it falls on the floor.

Decides to get the Nerf-gun and kill it.

Literally will take him 20 minutes. But once he's done, he'll sit right next to you, expecting to be praised.

Tanaka

The MAN

He'd be as scared as you, but he'd do everything he can to protect you.

Grabs the next heavy object to squish it

Doesn't matter whether it is your book, a laptop, a CHAIR...

Will literally hit the poor thing with full force

Didn't expect the clean up

Also wants praise.

Hinata

Cutie would be so lost.

He doesn't want to hurt the spider but seeing you this stressed makes him think

He could help you overcome your fear!

Grabs a cup & a sheet of paper to capture it

Tells you to take a look, because "It's just little, it won't do any harm!"

"That's what other volleyball teams thought about you too, Shoyo! And look at you now!"

Okay, he gets it.

Carries it outside immediately.

Tendou

BARE HAND.

He just *yoinks* it.

BUT DON'T THINK YOU'RE SAFE. NUH-UH.

Looks at you with a devious spark in his eyes

"Don't you fucking d-"

Runs after you with the thing in hand

Might decide to keep it as a pet.

Only stops when you really freaked out & started crying

Apologizes profusely

Spider got lost again somewhere, while he comforted you

Help

Daichi

He's dead.

No, but fr tho

The only sane one.

Even if you tell him to "Shot it with his gun"

Carries it outside in a glass or depending on the placement vaccums it

When it crawls out of the vaccum once, he swears it was going to murder him

Pretty chill, but is equally as disgusted as you are

51 notes · View notes

mrs-kodzuken · 1 year ago

Note

Can I have a timeskip!Ushijima comfort fic? Like Ushi doesn't understand the concept of skinship like holding hands and hugs so he often shrugs off reader's attempts in skinships, which of course made reader feel sad ㅠㅠ

Thank you and have a nice day! <3

Understanding you ♡

Pairing: Aged up! Wakatoshi Ushijima x fem!reader

WC: 1.6k

Genre: slight angst to comfort/fluff

CW: fem!reader, inexperienced in relationships!Wakatoshi, slight angst from ushi :( , fluff and comfort all in the end :)) , maybe some self deprecation from reader, best friends with tendou, communication is always key

note: thank you for requesting this! I hope it’s up to your expectations, sugar!! <3

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

Being the girlfriend of the Wakatoshi Ushijima was something I didn’t expect would hurt this much. As his girlfriend, I understood the importance of volleyball since it quite literally is his career path. However, being in a relationship is a whole other aspect to think about.

There never really was anything that really stood out to me about his wrongdoings. He always made it to every dinner plan, he didn’t forget the classic month to month anniversaries, he seemed like he was just a gift from heaven.

I knew it was too good to be true when I realized we, or I, was severely lacking in the physical department of our relationship.

Ushijima and I never really got closer within touching or skin-ship distance. That really sucked for me and hurt my feelings since he aced every other aspect of our relationship, no pun intended.

I wasn’t sure if he was just uncomfortable with touching me or if he had some kind of weird feeling about touching me. However, with physical touch being my number one priority of love language I wasn’t sure how to go about telling him my feelings.

Giving Wakatoshi free rein to plan out his schedule, except for date nights, was a must. He is a grown man and I’m not his mother, but I always felt bad when there was something important, like this, to be talked about.

I couldn’t help but to bite my lip as I stared at our private text messages. His contact name, ‘Ushi baby’ stared right back at me whilst I tried to work up the courage to send a text.

Deciding against it, I threw my phone onto my bed and sighed loudly. He was at practice and had a game tomorrow so I didn’t want to bother him or cloud his mind with meaningless things like what I need to talk about.

I couldn’t help to wallow in my own pity. The clock on my white painted walls doing nothing but making the sound of ticking throughout my room which eventually annoyed me enough to leave.

It was around the time for Ushi’s practice to be over and I really wanted him to come over, I just didn’t know how everything would go.

Whenever we had first started dating I got introduced, and interviewed, by Wakatoshi’s best friend, Tendou. And now, Tendou was one of my closest friends so I decided to call the Chocolatier himself for support.

After the phone had rang for three seconds it picked up, “Hello! Hello!” the familiar voice sounded throughout my kitchen.

“Hey Ten! I am in need of advice and company.” I admitted due to the facetime call revealing his apron on with some stains of colors on it.

“Oh really?” He asked, drawing out the ‘really’.

“Yes, really. I need to talk to Wakatoshi, I’m just not sure how. Any ideas?”

“That depends on what you’re going to talk to him about. Saying the wrong thing could make him easily misunderstand what you mean and vice versa.” Tendou tried to poetically explain, as if I didn’t already know that.

“Yeah, thank you so much,” I rolled my eyes, “I’m feeling a bit.. lonely in our relationship lately. I need more physical affection from him and I’m not sure how to really bring it up because times that’s happened before.”

That little spill from me made memories pop up into my head of Ushijima rejecting my attempts for physical love.

I could only remember how he shrugged himself away from holding my hand or kissing me after I brought him a well-balanced lunch meal one day during practice.

I never felt more embarrassed or ashamed in my life. My own boyfriend rejected my advances to give him, and to receive love from him in front of his entire team.

It wasn’t the only time that that had happened. I tried doing it behind closed doors just in case he didn’t like publicly displaying affection. However, that didn’t work either when he moved away from me one night after being out to dinner.

From that point on it’s just been messaging, very little facetime, some phone calls, and occasionally visiting each other’s apartment. I wasn’t sure how to proceed with this, and I certainly didn’t think it was anywhere near enough to breaking up.

However, that doesn’t mean he didn’t hurt my feelings nor have been continuing to hurt them. Whether on purpose or not.

With Ushijima being a member of the Schweiden Adlers, I knew some of his teammates and occasionally talked with them about how my boyfriend was doing time to time.

However, I couldn’t help to not reach out to them within the last couple of weeks. I didn’t have the courage to confidently ask about him.

Tendou’s voice brought me back to where I needed to be, which was having this conversation to communicate my needs across to him.

“And since knowing him for a while helps my understanding, I think a simple conversation would do the trick. Honestly, I’m not sure why you called if you knew that too?” He questioned me, eyes peering dangerously close to mine through the tiny phone screen.

I bit my lip, “It’s just… he has a game tomorrow. I don’t want to ruin that by spouting dumb nonsense about how I’m not feeling this or that from him.”

Growing up, I’ve always considered other peoples thoughts, opinions, feelings before mine. It was just the kind of person I was, and now it hurts me the most when I need to express myself.

“Girl. Fuck that game.” He rolled his eyes at me.

“Yes Wakatoshi loves his career and it’ll always be there but you’re something in his life that can disappear at any moment. I think he’d want to know,” Tendou tried reasoning with my dumb logic as he pointed a wooden spoon in my direction.

I gave up. I knew in the back of my mind that Tendou was definitely right and I wasn’t but it was my own self that was keeping me from doing what I needed to do.

“Alright, I think I’ll ask him to come over tonight then.” I tried to say confidently after I made up my mind of what needed to be done.

“Great! When I’m in Tokyo next I’ll be sure to bring a little something for you and him.” Tendou winked at me before ending the facetime call.

That only left me to do one thing, text my boyfriend. I quickly sent him a text asking if it would be okay for him to come over after practice.

My nerves were all over the place as I waited for the tall, olive haired man to show up at my place.

Soon the door bell brought me out of my mind trance and when I opened the door I saw the one and only Ushijima.

“Hey Toshi, come in,” I widened the door after taking a good look at him.

It seemed like he came here right out of practice, he was still in his whole practice uniform. His usual stoic face didn’t change once I sat down on to my living room couch.

“Is something the matter, (Y/n)?” He bluntly asked, getting straight to the point with me.

I took a deep breath to prepare myself, “Yes, Toshi. There is something the matter. My feelings are hurt and have been hurt for a while due to the lack of physical touch in our relationship.” I paused for a moment to look over his face.

He seemed to be intently listening on every word I was saying which gave me the impression to keep going.

“I just want more skin ship with you like hugging, kissing, hang holding, or even just sitting beside you with arms touching. I feel deprived of that because you seem to always move away when I try to initiate it. Is there a reason or..?” I trailed off, finishing what I was saying and asking a question to see his side.

“I’m sorry for making you feel that way, (Y/n). I don’t understand the idea of that. It makes you feel more loved than usual?” He asked, trying to work around in his head of what I had mentioned.

“Well, yes. Without it I feel upset or rejected by you sometimes.” I hung my head low a bit, it was embarrassing having to discuss this. However, I was always one to get embarrassed or ashamed at anything I needed.

“I will try, for you.” He promised, his large hand reaching over to me and placing it on my knee. He was very warm and it traveled through my body.

I smiled a bit, “Thank you, I really appreciate it. I’m sorry for not telling you sooner.”

I scooted closer to him on the couch and he gave me his one million dollar small smile that I love. His arms wrapped around my shoulders whilst I hugged his torso. His lean but built, very built, body touched my soft one, I loved this feeling.

We stayed like that for a minute, nothing heard but the low volume of my living room TV and our breathing.

“Thank you, Toshi. I really appreciate that you’ll try for me.” I pulled away, already missing the hug but needing to say that to his face.

“Of course, love.” His hand came up to caress my face and I leaned into his touch.

The aching in my heart and body went away after discussing that with him. It was all just a bit miscommunication which was easily fixed after I expressed what I needed to.

I couldn’t be more content.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

a/n: I hope you enjoyed anon!! I’m terrible at writing for Ushijima but thank you for helping me extend the people I can write for :))

you all know my header rules, if not see pinned post!!

310 notes · View notes

lees-chaotic-brain-reblogs · 1 year ago

Text

Haikyuu Fic Recs

Note: I do sometimes link my reblogs bc there is literally nothing I hate more than clicking on a link only to arrive at the ghost blog page.

Blogs to just read through: @emmyrosee @screamin-abt-haikyuu @quirrrky @kairakeiji @augustinewrites @mysterystarz @tahdashi @haikyuuphilia @kitashinsvks @adoringhaikyuu

Oikawa

@atsumwah

If You Had to Pick (fluff)

@ktsumu

Fifth Time's the Charm (fluff)

@verahella

Dad Moments (fluff)

@earthtooz

Young and Beautiful (fluff)

@teddybeartoji

Helping him Stretch (suggestive)

@livinghostly

Back to It (fluff)

@oreosmama

Voicemails After Breakup (angst)

@chimielie

And They Were Roommates (misunderstandings)

Kuroo

@tetzoro

Loser Boyfriend Kuroo (fluff)

@rintaroll

Truth or Drink (exes to lovers)

@tetsuskei

Colleague (office au)

@clubkira

Power Outage (comfort)

@a4nnnnn

Love at First Bite (fluff)

@bluebird-in-the-breeze

The Cafe Critique Project (fluff)

Iwaizumi

@fuyuluvr

I Didn't Mean It (hurt/comfort)

@dumbseee

Idol Girlfriend (fluff)

@sugarlywhispers

Do Something Cute (fluff)

@bananawafers

The Perfect Fit (fluff)

@arhvste

Instagram (fluff)

Akaashi

@fuyuluvr

I Didn't Mean It (hurt/comfort)

@luvring

University with Akaashi (university au)

Ushijima

@ktsumu

A Childhood Bedroom (fluff)

@strwbrryeyes

As a Best Friend (fluff)

Kita

@atsumwah

If You Had to Pick (fluff)

Bokuto

@bananawafers

What Dating him Looks Like (fluff)

Tsukishima

@livinghostly

Cat's Out of the Bag (fluff)

Kenma

@verahella

Dad Moments (fluff)

Kageyama

@verahella

Dad Moments (fluff)

Nishinoya

@sugarlywhispers

Nightmare (comfort)

Tendou

@oreosmama

Voicemails After Breakup (angst)

Daichi

@atsumwah

If You Had to Pick (fluff)

Atsumu

@gojoath-deactivated20240402

Stay for Breakfast (fluff, comfort)

@hihello-pinky

Varsity Crush (fluff)

#lee's brain food #ushijima x reader #fic recs #oikawa x reader #daichi x reader #kageyama x reader #kenma x reader #tsukishima x reader #bokuto x reader #kuroo x reader #akaashi x reader #nishinoya x reader #kita x reader #tendou x reader #haikyuu x reader #asahi x reader

348 notes · View notes

extant-exhaustion · 1 year ago

Note

Can I ask your top 10 fav fics ever (from any fandom, if you don't mind)?

Also, just curious, is there a story behind your name "extant-exhaustion "?

Well, first of all, thank you so much for your patience! I know it took me seven weeks to reply to this Ask! I agonized over my list (also, the holidays happened, which kept me busy). But I finally narrowed it down, so here we go, in no particular order:

My Top 10 Favorite Fanfics

died in my dreams by MTrash Haikyuu!! | T+ | 10k | Ushijima/Tendou | futuristic/cyberpunk AU, opposites attract, reluctant work partners to friends to lovers | fantastic characterization, really cool conceptually, a story about trauma and healing and finding your person

Come and get lost with us by boxofwonder Haikyuu!! | M | 150k | Hinata/Kageyama, Daichi/Sugawara | action/adventure, Medieval AU(?) | unlike anything I've ever read before or since; a really masterful integration of an enormous cast and a plot that unravels with absolutely zero fluff or filler

A Second Chance To Say by KazimaKuwabara/@kazimakuwabara Yu Yu Hakusho | M | 92k | Yusuke/Kuwabara, Youko Kurama/Kuronue | action/adventure, hurt/comfort | ft. Kuronue's eternal sass and unwavering friendship, the slow burn of reincarnated already-in-love KuwaMeshi (because Kuwabara doesn't remember it), somewhat menacing levels of intrigue, and Hiei finally winning MVP of emotions on Team Urameshi

Don't Blink or You'll Miss It (Lift Up Your Head) by umisabaku/@umisabaku Kuroko no Basuke | M | 81k | Kagami/Kuroko, Kasamatsu/Kise, Midorima/Takao, Himuro/Murasakibara, Aomine/Momoi | super powers | This story and its accompanying series are so cool and so unique. The characterization is amazing and the worldbuilding is stellar.

neither fish, flesh, nor foam by twoif interactive on Twine Kuroko no Basuke | Kagami/Kuroko | angst, Little Mermaid–esque, interactive storytelling | incredible, but also devastating; a story about how sometimes our doubts can destroy not only ourselves but the good things we build; one of the coolest things I've ever interacted with as a story, a true tour de force

Transient Shadow, True Light by seafoamist/@seafoamist Kuroko no Basuke | M | 322k, WIP | Kagami/Kuroko | angst, hurt/comfort, time travel, historical (Edo Period) | If you talk to me about this story, I will go absolutely feral, because it is my current obsession and the only WIP that is on this list. I'm straight-up insane about its quality and depth. I can't even put this story into words. It knocks the wind out of me.

And lastly, my URL doesn't actually have a story behind it! It's basically just my life, haha. “Extant” is an adjective meaning “ongoing/still in existence” and “exhaustion” is pretty obvious. Essentially, I like alliteration and thought it sounded better than "tired 100% of the time."

260 notes · View notes

jamespottersdaisy · 2 years ago

Text

It's blue, the feeling I've got

Remus Lupin x fem!reader

Is it really worth it to run from the hurt if running hurts you all the same?

thank you @tendous-pretty-hair for the prompt!

author's note- kinda like grumps x sunshine except remus is the sunshine here, trust issues?

You grimace at the filthiness on the floor, your eyes scanning for the target.

Your quill.

You are not in a comfortable position, your torso stooping while you support yourself with a tight grip on the desk. One more inch forward, and you are certain you will fall, and yet the quill is nowhere to be found.

It’s not hard to feel the annoyance building up. It’s merely a feather, for God’s sake, how far can you possibly drop it? But again, it is a feather; what keeps it from floating out of the window?

You hear your name and straighten yourself. You can feel the blood circulation visiting your fingertips from the change of positions.

You turn your head and stare at Remus with a frown, who, in turn, has a tiny smile on his face. His smile wouldn’t be noticeable if you weren’t used to heeding every detail about him.

“Here,” he says and stretches out his hand to you with a quill in it. It’s not yours, but it will suffice.

Your countenance doesn’t soften even though your heart flutters at his widening smile. You should offer him a smile or at least relax your brows or something to let him know your gratitude.

But you just mumble a quick thanks before turning.

He doesn’t seem to mind. He never seems to mind your rudeness somehow.

“Don’t look at me like you want to commit a murder,” he says, his eyes not leaving the paper before you. Your paper. Your ripped paper.

“I’m thinking about it,” you scowl.

“I’ll fix it, don't worry,” Remus smiles. You wouldn’t mind a ripped parchment if you hadn’t already written three thousand words on it.

“Not like you have any other options.”

He finally looks at you, and you expect a bitter expression at your words. But his eyes are still tender, and his smile still bright.

“I’ll even bring you pudding afterwards as an apology.”

Sometimes you would come across as rude, not because you intended to, but because your lips work faster than your mind.

“Remus made your cake!” Lily says and looks at you with emerald eyes filled with joy. She looks beautiful in her green dress that you’re sure she bought specifically for your surprise birthday party.

“Why?” you ask because you don’t understand why he would bother when he could’ve just bought it.

Everyone looks at you like you just screamed in a library. You should’ve probably said thanks instead of blurting the first thing that crossed your mind. Remus doesn’t seem to care, though.

“Because it is your birthday,” he says and pushes you by the shoulders to sit on the sofa. He takes the cake and kneels before you. “Make a wish.”

You look at his eyes, and his hair and his lips. You notice how they look…a bit too perfect. You realise it’s been more than a few seconds, and no one makes a wish this long.

You blow out the candles.

Other times, it would be because you don’t know what to do exactly.

You raise your head when a sandwich enters your eyesight.

“You haven’t eaten today,” Remus says and sits beside you. You watch him open his book and shuffle through the pages.

“How did you know?”

“We’ve been studying since morning,” he raises an eyebrow at you. “It’s nighttime.”

You hum and say nothing more. You didn’t know he was paying attention to that detail.

You open the sandwich and take a bite, satisfying your hunger. You want to thank him and talk to him, engage in some friendly conversation. But your mouth is full, and you don’t know what to talk about. You don’t want to speak while chewing, and you don’t know how other people manage to talk with someone so easily.

You feel bad that you never treat him with the same kindness he has for you.

By the time you grasp an opportunity to open your mouth, he’s already asking about your favourite drink.

That’s why you have a strange infatuation with Remus. Not like the way you care for James or Lily. It’s a bit different.

You never catch yourself staring at James’s lips when he’s talking. You never want to play with Lily’s hair. And you surely never think about your other friends before bed.

Anyhow, you’re too busy to dwell on those feelings or act on them.

At the end of the class, you want to return Remus his quill. You walk up to him, and he sends his friends away. You offer him the quill ashe smiles.

“Keep it,” he says and starts walking with you.

You think so hard about what to ask him, how to hear his voice, how to make him smile at you. Maybe you should ask him what he thinks of cats. But what if he doesn’t like cats? You should go a bit simpler, then. However, before you decide to ask him about his day, he’s already voicing some words.

“What?”

"I said you seem tired," he speaks softly, glancing at you while letting you leave the class first.

You are tired. You were up all night, studying.

"I didn't sleep well," you shrug. "Homework."

"Did you finish it?"

You nod with an accompanied 'uh-huh'.

"Would you mind helping me?"

You are sure he is already done with his homework.

"Didn't you, like, finish it two days ago?"

"I did mine, yes. But," he inhales deeply, and you know he's about to ask a favour from his stiffened shoulders. "You know how I help other students in the library sometimes?"

Oh, no.

"Yes?" you crunch your brows.

"I was hoping you could help me out a bit today."

"Why?"

"Because I need your help."

"That's what I'm asking. Why?"

He stares at you before you two start climbing the stairs. You'll later realise that wasn't the best thing to ask at that moment and scold yourself for it.

"I'm having a hard time handling all of them by myself."

"You can always just stop holding study sessions," you point out. "But I'll help you."

He smiles. "Thank you–"

"Only for today."

Remus nods several times, his hair tousling. "Only for today."

You don’t enjoy the company of too many people, mainly because of your awkwardness. Albeit you love helping people, you’d rather do it not in front of dozens.

Only for today.

Besides, you love spending time with Remus.

“How about Mistletoe Berry?”

“Yeah, you should use it–”

“Why not Silverweed?”

“It doesn’t mix well with the berry,” you say, trying to help all five of the students at once. Somehow, your regard for the teachers is changing a bit because of all this.

“Can you check my essay?” a boy asks, and you nod.

The moment you take the parchment in your hand, a girl decides to challenge you with some complicated questions that you won’t be able to reply to without focusing on her.

“Just a moment–”

“Yeah, sure, can you check my essay too afterwards?”

Why the hell does Remus do this?

He doesn’t even get paid for this headache.

You glance at him, seeing that he’s doing much better than you are. At least he has a smile on his face indicating that he actually enjoys holding these study sessions.

You take in his unfairly beautiful looks, trying your best not to get lost in his smile. You fail when he looks at you.

He laughs at your frown, mouthing something that you don't quite catch. You frown a bit more, and he moves his lips again. In the end, you give up and roll your eyes before averting them back to the parchment.

You don't see his smile lingering on your frame.

Remus doesn't notice that he's staring. You don't notice, either. The students do, though.

They see how his eyes soften when they are on you, just like your frown melts into a somewhat smile when you talk to him. They see how he's much more patient with you and how less grumpy you are with him.

"I don't think she enjoys being here," a boy with raven hair and tanned skin speaks to Remus, pulling him back into the moment.

Remus shakes his head, his lips still curled up. He lowers his head to the books before him.

"She just doesn't like people, Charlie," he says, eyes scanning the essays and looking for any mistakes.

Charlie doesn’t seem convinced.

"She likes you, doesn't she?"

"Well,” Remus hesitates for a moment. He thinks of the right thing to say, “That's different."

It is different, and Remus knows this too well. It would be an insult to his intelligence to think that he has never noticed small things.

You dither what to say to him, take your time with your words, and your faltering smile blooms flowers in his heart. Remus is smart enough to take heed of your soft demeanour when he is near. You don’t sulk when he walks with you around the castle, and you don’t frown when he is making lame jokes.

Sometimes he would even notice you staring at him adorningly when you think he is not aware. The way your eyes caress every blemish on his face would make him want to crash his lips onto yours to quench the fire in his core. But he would withhold.

Seeing a reserved one like you crack a smile, sing a laugh, and gift a loving glance just for him could not not do things to him. How could your soft spot for Remus in your heart not emerge gardens for you in his soul?

It was impossible. However, he would never act on any feeling that stormed in him. Not because he was too proud but because he wanted you to acknowledge them first. He wanted you to drop your high walls a bit, open up to him and show him that you are indeed willing to embrace your emotions.

He never pushes you, but sometimes he would wish that he did. Moments like this, knowing that you could do something you are not entirely comfortable with just on his request, would urge him to voice words that he knows for a fact would scare you off.

So he keeps silent for now.

“How is it going?” he asks, walking up to you. He has never seen you this uncomfortable in an environment before. Dozens of students nagging and shoving papers on the table, carelessly shuffling everything.

You immediately look up to him and push some parchments to his chest.

“Great,” you say, “Do me a favour and read these, yeah? I am a bit busy with…”

You stare at the five essays before you and sigh. “...these.”

Soft tunes of Remus’s chuckle greet your soul, and while you are more than happy to listen to it forever, you arch a brow at him.

“In my defence, you look funny,” he holds his hands in the air.

“You don’t get to laugh at me after putting me into this position,” you mutter, albeit your lips fracture into a subtle smile.

“I didn’t force you, did I? You agreed to help,” Remus starts tidying the table for you.

“Damn my helpful nature then.”

“Hang on, it’s almost nine,” he glances at the clock in the library. “You’ll be free to go in five.”

“Who’s gonna clean the whole mess?”

“I am,” he sits next to you and points out the mistakes of the essay to its writers.

You look at him for a moment before focusing back on the ink on the paper. You have no intention of leaving him alone to clean after those guys without you, but you don’t say that to him. Mainly because you don’t see any need to. But also because you don’t want others to think that something is…different with Remus.

It is none of their business, after all. At least, that’s what you always tell yourself.

Not that you are too scared to let your feelings surface, you despise being vulnerable, or you lock up your weaknesses because you are afraid of being hurt. It’s just not their business.

That’s why you try to suffice with the glances, jokes, and smiles when it comes to Remus. That’s why you never entertain the thought of his arms around your waist or your head against his shoulder or even his lips against yours. You never think about if they would feel soft or chapped when he kisses you, if he would place his hands on your hips or your cheek, if he would crash into you before pushing you against a wall or be gentle by caressing your face and slowly leaning in. You never think about if his kiss would lead to something more as he sinks lower to your neck–

“Stop staring into space and read it,” Remus calls without looking at you.

“I was reading it,” you scowl, feeling a fire in your core. You don’t look at him; you are sure it won’t help with the fire. His chestnut hair and shaped jawline have never helped with anything except fueling the yearning for him in you.

Remus simply mouths a satirical hum.

After long minutes of tortuous readings, students were thanking you as they got ready to leave. You simply put on a smile– which Remus was sure of being forced– and said that ‘it was totally okay’.

“Was it?” he whispers to you, lowering his head to match your ear. You move your head to look him in the eye, only to almost bump into his nose. You take a step back.

“Was it what?”

“Totally okay?” he grins, and you are not sure if it is because of your reluctance to be so close to him.

“It was indeed,” you turn your back to him and start tidying the place.

“You don’t have to–”

“I want to,” you cut him off, knowing what he’s gonna say. You don’t have to help him clean. You just want to be near him…for some reason.

“On your charitable day, eh?”

“That makes you a charity case.”

He laughs before you can overthink your words. You don’t feel a smile creeping up on your lips, but Remus feels his heart warm up at the sight.

He places himself next to you, hands stretching out to grab the useless papers. Your arms are crashing, but you don’t complain like you would if it was someone else.

“Thank you,” he says, and you look at him. Your smile widens, and Remus can swear he saw your eyes twinkling.

“Anytime,” you nod but shake your head right after. “Not anytime. It was tiring. But whenever it’s a life or death situation.”

“If I didn’t know you, I would say you’re a bad person.”

“Good thing you know me, then.”

Remus forces himself to focus on the task at hand. That’s what happens when you offer him a tiny smile or a joyful laugh. It’s distracting. It makes him want to do and say bold things that he knows are not the right time.

Still, he manages to keep his attention on the litter and not your velvety smile.

You are running with a deep frown on your face, your eyes looking for the best spot to shield yourself from the roaring gas back in the classroom. İt is as ugly looking as it smells disgusting.

And you know damn well who is responsible for that spectacle.

It’s not like you could somehow protect yourself from the side effects of their pranks. No matter how close of a friend you are to the Marauders, you are never immune to their misbehaving.

Thus, there you are, sprinting out of the room with the hopes of escaping the wrath of…

You didn’t know what it was, to be exact, but it surely made you gag.

Your eyes are scanning the surroundings, estimating the best route of escape for you, when you feel yanked by your arm.

Before you know it, you are in a room filled with barrels, brooms and weird-looking skulls on the shelves.

“What the–”

“Hi.”

Your frown deepens, and you are sure you will have wrinkles around your forehead when you are old.

“Remus?”

He smiles sheepishly. “How you doing?”

“What are you doing?”

“Saving your ass from stinking,” he shrugs as you take in the room. It smells of wood, and the dust makes you sneeze. “Bless you.”

“Why are you here?” you ask, sniffling.

“To save your ass from stinking,” he repeats, and you ogle at him.

“Attaboy then,�� you murmur, walking around the Artefact Room.

You don’t see it, but Remus’s eyes travel in the room with you. They take in your every movement, especially when you raise your hand to touch the skulls.

"Aren't they dirty?" he asks, and you pull your hand away.

"You are the one who chose this room."

"Weird way to say thanks, but you're welcome," he steps forward a bit awkwardly.

You roll your eyes at him and realise that you don't beat yourself up for your inept interactions with him anymore. They feel natural, enjoyable even. The feeling almost makes you smile.

"Thanks," you say to him, knowing that you are thanking him for an entirely different reason than he thinks.

He waves his hand and turns away. He points to a blackboard, dirty with dust, fading away.

"Did you know you can draw anything in your mind by touching this board?"

"I can?" you step up, eyes on Remus.

"No, of course not," he laughs, "It's just a blackboard."

You stop in your tracks and give him a look that makes him chuckle.

"Sorry," he smiles, "Just wanted to hear your voice. Not my fault that you don't talk much."

Your heart takes a leap at his words, your mind suggesting too many claims that you can not keep up. You don't stay stuck with them, not right now. You let his words lead you on.

"You're the only person I talk to too much," you say, and Remus takes another step towards you.

"That's a confession," he raises his eyebrows.

His heart is hammering in his chest, but he's too focused on your lips to mind it. He's been waiting for this. For a moment that you would let him see a glimpse of the person behind the frown.

"I can confess much more," you murmur mindlessly, regretting it on the spot.

You shouldn't have said that. It's more than what you've allowed yourself. It's a crack in your walls.

You're hoping that he's going to smile and nod and move on. You're hoping so hard that he's not going to dwell on it.

"Like what?"

Of course, he is going to dwell on it. He's going to dig and make sure to leave no brick on your walls.

You won't let him, though. You can't.

You gaze at his brown eyes, taking in the intense hope and desire. You can't let those orbs bury you, it's too early to give in to their affection. You're struggling to get to the surface, saving yourself from his infatuating arms.

"Like how I can fall asleep anywhere," you blurt out the first thing that comes to mind, wishing for it to be enough to move the topic.

Remus shakes his head, and the next thing you know, his hands are on your wrists, his face close to yours. You refuse to raise your head and look him in the eye, insisting on staring at his shoulders.

"Don't do that," he whispers.

He can feel the nerves in every inch of his skin stretch out, urging him to act recklessly. He has already seen the glimpse of light between the crack of your walls; there's no turning back for him. He wants your light to ignite his soul, and he's ready to fight for it.

"What?" you ask, this time resting your eyes on his. They are darker, or maybe you're just confused because of the suffocating distance.

"Don't close yourself off," his one hand slowly glides up across your skin, taking your chin between his thumb and forefinger. "It's not fair."

Your heart is in your stomach, storms raging in your core, ready to rain with his one movement.

You are fighting with your shadow, struggling to grant the boy the well-deserved light.

"Remus, what–"

"It's not fair, dove. Stop torturing us," he cuts you off, and you hold your breath when he leans in.

His actions are painfully slow as if he's testing your limits. By the time you can feel his hot breath on your lips, your whole body is screaming his name, ready to melt under his touch.

It's what you've always wanted; you know that. To know how his lips would feel, where his hands would rest, and what he would whisper to you before taking your breath away.

The answer to all your questions lies only an inch away, and your skin is aflame with expectations.

You close your eyes when he brushes his lips against yours, breaths mingling, hands intertwining, and bodies begging to be held.

Just a second more and you'll finally rest;just a moment more and your walls will crumble, and just an inch more and his rain will take care of your garden.

"I won’t kiss you until you let me in," he whispers, and you frown.

Before you can register his words in your mind, the door of the room is being put to the test. Remus takes a few large steps back, his darkened eyes still gazing into yours.

The next thing you hear is James begging Remus to teach him the spell that will 'get rid of the stench'.

The next few days were nothing but a headache for you. The biggest battle you’ve ever fought has been torturing your mind, your heart and head clashing brutally.

Your heart is begging you to smile at the love that’s waiting for you, rooting for you, ready to embrace you. Your mind is reminding you of each and every bitter memory that made you who you are right now, that built up your walls and cast a shadow on your smile.

It’s not an easy fight, especially when you're fighting it alone. Silent and peaceful nights are the worst. Your mind replaying the memory like a film to remind you what you’re losing, but also lurking behind to whisper all of your dreadful doubts to your ear.

You will get hurt again. You know you will. That’s what it is to trust someone, to love someone, to let yourself be vulnerable before them. You can’t love Remus without accepting the risk of getting hurt. You know it all too well.

You just can’t accept the risk.

You are not ready for your heart to shatter again, for your tears to cry a river, and for your soul to suffer through many times. It's not fair. It’s not fair that you can’t be happy without being hurt.

You are too tired of being hurt.

The strength in you can not handle another knife in the heart.

It’s not fair.

That was what Remus said.

You groan and push your head to your hands.

It is not fair to offer him a smile when you know you want to hide behind a frown. It’s not fair to let him brush his lips against yours when you know you want to put distance between your bodies. It is not fair to find his frame in every room when you know you should let him down slowly instead of letting your eyes feast on his smile.

You can’t seem to let him go, and it’s frustrating.

He is looking into your eyes from across the room, and you are sure somewhere in your heart, there is a sting that bleeds.

“What happened?” Lily asks, and you know she can feel the ice between Remus and you.

“Nothing,” you say.

That’s what you always say. Never letting yourself find comfort in others, never letting them see the pain surging in you. Lily knows better than that.

“Do you need me to pester you, or are you going to talk?”

You’re not going to go talk, and she’s going to pester you. She is asking questions until she has all the facts. She is making you talk about every little feeling you have regarding every little thing Remus said. By the time she's done, you feel like you’ve crumbled under the weight of an elephant.

“And how long do you think you can keep yourself safe like this?” she asks. “You’re going to refuse to trust anyone till what? End of your life?”

You shrug, and she frowns.

“I’m not gonna tell you what to do,” she stands up, and you remember she has to meet with James. “But is it really worth it to run from hurt if running hurts you all the same?”

“Have fun," you murmur before she leaves.

That's what echoes in your mind for days.

‘Is it really worth it to run from hurt if running hurts you all the same?’

At first, you allow yourself longing glances. You don’t break eye contact when he looks over at you across the room.

Then you slowly offer him a faint smile. You don’t see it, but your eyes light up with your smile. Much to your happiness, he always returns it with a bigger smile.

With time, you two start talking again. He’s the same person he was weeks ago, you are the one that’s trying to make a change.

You talk about what makes you happy to him and notice that the next day he has your favourite sweet in his hand.

“You didn’t have to,” you say instead of asking the reason for the gesture.

“I didn’t intend to,” he chuckles, handing you the sweet you’ve been staring at since it came into view. “But then I remembered that you’ve mentioned liking those.”

“Strong memory.”

“For you.”

You confide in him about how your day went bad, and he listens for almost an hour.

“You sure there’s nothing I can do?” he asks when you stop talking.

“Absolutely nothing,” you smile, feeling the burden in your heart vanish.

“I can always put some dog fur on his coat,” Remus offers, his eyes indicating no humour. “I hear he’s allergic.”

You laugh this time, and his shoulders relax.

“Where are you going to find the dog fur?”

“I have my ways.”

You even let him hold you sometimes.

“What did you get?” you wonder, eyes filled with genuine curiosity.

“What do you think?” Remus says, and you falter for a moment. He’s been going on and on about this exam for a long time. Surely he would at least have a grin on his face if it went good, no? But would he be this relaxed if it went bad?

You stare at him a bit long, mouth opening and closing.

He chortles at your expressions. “Outstanding!”

You hit him in the arm. “Congratulations, jerk–” and he’s already hugging you.

You are still frowning and scowling when someone trips on your foot. You still hate Remus’s study sessions in the library, and you still never let James mess with you.

But you have allowed yourself to open up to Remus, and you know you can do more.

You have been waiting for the right moment to do it.

You are pacing around the lake. It’s peacefully quiet, and usually, you would appreciate it. Not at this moment, though. Your heartbeats are rapid, your hands a bit sweaty. You rub them together.

“Do you think we should start with Transfiguration today?” Remus’s voice calls and, you quickly turn around. You scold yourself internally for not noticing that he was approaching.

“Sure,” you say and sit beside him.

“You alright?” he narrows his eyes, “You look pale.”

“All good.”

He nods and starts talking about some stuff that you don’t listen to. Your eyes running around just like your attention. Sometimes they place on Remus’s hands, making you ache for his touch again. The moment is so tense for you that you overthink about his thumb and forefinger that held your chin.

They focus on his neck, too. You are a bit angry at yourself for wanting to put your lips on it. But nothing tops the irritation building up in you when you glance at his hair. You shouldn’t want to run your hands through it, at least not now. You definitely shouldn’t peek at his red lips that urge you to make a mistake.

“Okay, you are not listening,” he snaps the book closed. “What is wro–”

“I want to kiss you, but I don’t know how,” you say, holding no punches.

His eyes widen a bit, and his lips part in the look for the right words. He stares into your eyes, making you regret everything and want to get the hell out of there.

“How about just lean in and–”

“No, you were studying, it would be awkward,” you cut him off, feeling a different type of warmth emerge, sweating your palms.

“I’m not studying now, am I?” he arches a brow, and your breath hitches.

You stay still, taking in everything that’s happening. That’s your cue, it seems. You should take it, you shouldn’t waste it or mess this up–

You swiftly lean in and kiss his lips.

It’s a quick kiss, one that doesn’t give you a chance to put your hands around him or feel his hold around your body.

Remus doesn't even have time to react or kiss you back.

When you pull away, you glance at his face, which is pretty smug. You furrow your brows at him, feeling annoyance paint your expressions.

“Took you long enough,” he chuckles and places himself closer to you. “Let me.”

You are still frowning when he holds your waist and leans in. You are looking at his eyes with a scowl that makes him imitate you. He mirrors your expression mockingly for a moment before smiling against your lips.

When he kisses you, your face softens, and your eyes close. You feel the cool breeze around your heart that lets you know you made the right choice. Your soul finds peace in that moment, just like your mind that goes quiet for the first time in a long time.

He deepens the kiss, and you bring your hand to his hair. You can feel the movements getting heated from his tightened grip on your waist and the heavy sigh that comes from you. Just when you bring your hand to stroke his neck, he pulls away, looking at you breathlessly.

“Just for clarification, this means you like me, right?”

You roll your eyes as you crash your lips into his, but not before muttering a low ‘yes’.

i don't really know how i feel about this but again i say this about almost everything i write so please let me know what you think <33

thanks for reading!

and if you liked it, buy me a coffee<33

761 notes · View notes