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catasoph · 2 years ago

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How to kill someone

Tendou Satori x f!reader

Summary: Satori was alone his whole life. Always the monster that nobody wanted around until he found someone that would stay with him till the end.

Words: 2.5k

Warnings: bullying, insults, implied suicidal thoughts, loneliness, angst, hurt/comfort

There was only a little boy sitting at a large table filled with plates and cups for no one to be used, with drinks and snacks that no one would touch. He had a little party hat on his red hair but no one who he would share all the happiness, that once radiated of him, with. His little hands were clenched tightly into his new shirt, his bottom lip wobbling and his eyes becoming glassy but no tear was shed. A woman with a large smile came into the room, holding a cake with chocolate gloss all over it. It wasn`t a masterpiece but it showed that she cared.

“Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Satori. Happy birthday to you!” Before her silvery voice could finish the song the boy in front of her started weeping. His face scrunched up until a stream of tears followed. His mother gently placed the cake on the fully decorated table, just to crouch down next to her boy and hold him tightly. “Ohh honey, I´m so sorry.” His tears were soaking into the fabric of her wonderful dress but she didn`t budge. She didn`t push him away or reprimand him for ruining it. Satori was just a child desperately wanting to feel loved and if his friends couldn`t do that, then his mother would need to step up. “Why didn`t they come?” His little hand still clinging to her form while his pleading eyes were looking right through her. How should she answer that? How should she explain to her son that his friends were playing with his feelings, trying to torture him? “I don`t know, darling.” She tried smiling, lifting the corners of her mouth but it couldn`t reach her eyes, because she knew. They both did.

Every year after that he tried again and again. But no one ever showed up to his birthday parties. After that, the first day of middle school was the chance he had been waiting for. He was bouncing with energy, ready to make everything right. When his mom pulled up to school to drop him off he saw all these unfamiliar children. The reason for all the nervous tugging and quickly looking around from others, was the reason Satori's heart was nearly pounding out of his chest, accompanied by a big smile. Nobody knew him here. Nobody to ignore him, pretend to be his friend but call him names behind his back. It was finally going to be better.

His mother tried to give him a reassuring smile, holding his hands for a second too long with clammy hands while saying goodbye. As soon as her boy turned around running over to the other kids going to his classroom, her smile fell and she started nibbling on her bottom lip. Nearly making it bleed again after doing it repeatedly for the last few days. He was gonna be alright. Satori bounded into his new classroom. Eyes sparkling with excitement. Finally, after everything he would find friends. He could join a sports club to find people that had the same interests as him. They could train together and go to tournaments. He would be just like everybody else.

One of his little hands was reaching for the doorknob of the classroom while his other one was holding the strap of his backpack. Squeezing it occasionally to contain his excitement. The door was pushed open and a few heads turned around with big eyes. Nervousness radiating off them to see who else would be in their class. Satori's smile stretched over his whole face, showing his teeth that were still a bit too big for his mouth. His eyes scrunched together a bit. His eyes scanned the crowd for a place to sit, waving shyly at his new classmates that were still watching him until his eyes landed on them. Two boys, who seemed ohh so innocent but were the demons his nightmares were made of. His supposedly friends, which ignored him, talked behind his back and called him bad names at the end of primary school. They were everything he had wanted to avoid for his new beginning. "Hey, look who else is here?" Akui pointed out. He was a plain-looking kid. Dark hair falling over his face and almost hiding his small brown eyes. He was gesturing towards Satori, making the other boy at the table next to him turn around. Yumekuis freezing cold eyes fell on him and a wicked smirk danced along his features that had to look so innocent to everyone else seeing their interaction.

"Hey freak, nice to have you back in our class." The glint in his eyes darkened while he waved toward Satori and made a gesture to the table in front of them. They wanted him to sit with them. It wasn`t a friendly request so they could all be together. It was meant to be Satori's slow execution. He wanted to torture everything that Satori stood for. But he sat. Even though everything in him screamed to stand up, to run, to fight, to cry, to do anything but sit. He sat. Moving mechanically and not moving a muscle after he had found his place. He was paralyzed. The cruel truth of destiny had shown him that he could not outrun his fate. All other children would have been ecstatic to see a familiar face in the same room as them but for Satori it was a nightmare come true. Satori had thought weeks before stepping foot into his new classroom that things would be finally better, but after a few months, he realized how horrible it was going and that nobody had his back except for himself. And even he wanted to give himself up so badly and put a knife in his heart to end it all. The pain and suffering. The feelings. From day one everyone was against him. He became the monster. The soul-sucking demon nobody was allowed to touch otherwise you got a disease.

It was the second period. Their teacher had written a math problem on the blackboard and tried to explain a new formula to solve it. But it was hard to listen when little paper pieces were stuck in his hair and occasionally wet pieces found their way to his forehead. Satori was never sure if someone used water from their bottle for it or just their own saliva. His table was filling up with garbage from every side. But their teacher stayed oblivious. Never calling the other students out and putting an end to the battle against the monster, as the other children often called it. As if he was a demon that would steal the happiness out of their lives and they had to fend him off.

It never ended there. Throwing garbage was just the beginning and as the months progressed his classmates grew braver. Putting his binders into the trash followed by his backpack. They stole his homework and pulled down his pants. It was exhausting. He was always waiting for the next attack. A new move they would pull on him to hurt him. It didn`t matter what he did to prevent it. They were always there. Watching him, waiting for the perfect opportunity to attack and humiliate him. All their eyes were always on him. He could even feel them at home in the own comforts of his room. Middle school was hell and Yumekui was the reason it got created. The redhead was at the top of the mountain called loneliness and was just a slight push away from rolling down the other side, plummeting into a deep, cold lake that would finally freeze him. An end that he could already see from the top. It didn`t take long as the last push came. He was a stone that got kicked down, so it could sink into the darkness.

It was a Thursday afternoon and the sun was shining mercilessly down onto the courtyard. From the window, he could see children playing basketball or hide and seek. They all had huge smiles plastered onto their faces and even the kid that fell a second ago, was already on his feet again when one of his friends stretched a hand out to him and helped him up. Satori also needed someone to help him up. He joined the volleyball team of his school to find a person that could understand him. Instead, he found his talent. A passion that had kept him alive for longer. One that gave him hope. They had training on Thursday afternoons but as he wanted to grab his bag full of sportswear, he grabbed into nothingness. His bag was not where he had left it. The emptiness of the coat rack was taunting him. He could already see the disappointed and pitying eyes of his mother when another binder got lost or his backpack broke again. But losing his sportswear was worse because he knew he would have never misplaced it. Volleyball was his dream. He would never be so careless as to jeopardize it. The snickers coming from the last remaining students in the classroom also confirmed it. He hadn`t misplaced or lost it. It got stolen, because everyone hated him and no one wanted to play with him. No one could endure the satisfaction in his eyes when he blocked another spike and finally had the upper hand. So when they had a chance to take away his safe space. His paradise. They stopped at nothing. No feelings or expenses were spared because for them he didn`t deserve it. Satori went with hanging shoulders out of the classroom, eyes fixated on the floor so nobody could see the tears dripping down his cheeks. He was just a boy scared his whole life would be similar. Full of people that didn`t know him but hated him for his looks. He was scared that the bullying would only get worse, with no one to rely on but himself. He walked slowly down the corridor. Thinking about just going home, skipping training when anyways nobody wanted him there. Or if he should go to the gym, make up an excuse about forgetting his sports clothes. Standing his ground and showing his classmates that they couldn`t take that from him. But would it be worth it? To arrive there and only see disgusted faces. Two girls were coming his way, whispering their words and snickering quietly. They had something to do with it. Satori could see it in their eyes. They knew and they didn`t look at him with pity, they thought he deserved it. Until screaming was heard from the end of the corridor.

A girl was standing with their back towards him, gripping a bag that looked incredibly familiar while Yumekui was holding onto the other end. "Stop it! These are not yours!" The girl pressed out. Her whole face was red for exertion but her hands were not budging when Yumekui tried to rip it out of them once more. Satori walked closer to the action to confirm what he already thought. A girl he didn`t know was fighting for his gym clothes. Yumekui's hardened eyes lifted and fell automatically onto Satori. Immediately he let go of the bag and put an annoyed look on his face. Letting the girl stumble back but smile in victory. "Tsk, whatever. Keep this dirty thing." The boy tried to sound nonchalant but failed with the look he threw one last time at the pair before turning around. After he was gone the girl sighed in relief. The last tension was leaving her body before Satori spoke up and she went rigid again.

"That`s my bag." He said timidly, pointing with his long fingers toward her hands. Immediately she jerked around, her eyes wide. "Sorry! I wanted to bring it back but I wasn`t sure who it belonged to and Yumekui didn`t want to give it to me." She rapidly explained, putting a small smile on Satori's face which seemed to relax her. "Where did you find it?" "It was in the bin at the entrance." She explained while handing it over to the boy who had lost his smile again. The truth dawned on him, that this would happen more often now and Yumekui would always find new places to hide it. "I like your smile more." She spoke up once again, a frown now also gracing her lips. Satori took cautiously a step back. His brain going a mile a minute trying to figure out where the trap is. Was that girl in it as well? Is she only pretending to play nice to play an even sicker joke? Was she faking liking him, be his friend only to abandon him? Point with a finger at him, laughing uncontrollably while asking who would want to be the friend of a monster. He imagined a thousand scenarios but her eyes looked at him with so much concern that he couldn`t find the will to just run. He couldn`t even form words but she seemed to understand his inner turmoil. "Are you good at volleyball?" A shy nod followed from Satori before his eyes found the floor again. "Do you want to play before the next lesson starts?" His head jerked up, surprise flashing through his eyes while she just smiled. Satori eyed her suspiciously but she was unfazed, just waiting for him to confirm or deny. So he nodded making her beam at him even brighter before she took his hand and bounded with him over to the yard. "I`m (Y/N) (L/N) by the way. Nice to meet you." After that, there was always someone to hold him. They would play volleyball together and (Y/N) would look at him as if he was a miracle. She would always come to his birthday parties or as they got older, plan them herself. Their last year at Shiratorizawa came around and it was clear they all would go their separate ways. Moving to different cities or even countries and chasing their own dreams. Satori's birthday rolled around again. He was no longer filled with dread when he thought about that day because he knew there was always at least one person to remember it. When he came to class that morning a muffin was standing on his table and behind it, Semi and Ushiwaka were standing with neutral expressions. "Hey, guys. Is that for me?" Satori beamed, eyeing the little treat excitedly. "Of course, it's for you. Happy Birthday." Semi rolled his eyes at him but had a small smile on his lips. "I also wish you a pleasant birthday, Tendou." The redhead laughed thanking his ever-stoic friend as he gave him a little bag with presents their whole team had contributed to. Just as he was about to look at it another voice filled the classroom. The door flung open and loud panting was heard, followed by singing as Satori turned around. "Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Happy Birthday dear Satori. Happy Birthday to you!" Her face was bright red and her hair disheveled. It was the most beautiful sight he had seen all morning. "Thank you, Paradise." It wasn`t only gratefulness for her to remember his birthday but for her to stand by his side for all these years and save him from himself.

#writers #writers on tumblr #tendou satori #tendou fluff #tendou x you #tendou x reader #tendou x y/n #shiratorizawa #haikyu x reader #haikyuu #happy birthday #bullying #angst #hurt/comfort #fanfiction #tendou imagine #anime #sport anime

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mitaharukai · 1 year ago

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Title: I see you (part 2)

Ship: Claudine x Maya (Revue Starlight)

Summary: It only takes an accident for Maya to finally see Claudine...

Words: 2k

Sneak peek:

“Maya defends herself as an angry spark ignites in her eyes, launching at Futaba who can barely block her strong attack.

Both girls keep a dance of attacks and blocks for some time, before the voice of a certain stage girl interrupts them.

- Futaba!

The pink haired girl hears her name being called by her ash-blonde friend, seeing a flash of pain crossing Maya’s features, before using said distraction to attack her with such a bad luck that Maya, in her efforts to dodge her and avoid getting her button pulled out, slips and falls from the top of the stairs.

- Tendo!”

#kuromaya #mayakuro #tendou maya #saijou claudine #futaba isurugi #slight FutaKao #revue starlight #shoujo kageki revue starlight #hurt and comfort #Futaba defending her friend

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sveetnn · 4 months ago

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my heart is so warm it's gonna explode!! this was cute and comforting <333

i don't want you like a best friend

cw: 4.2k wc, female reader, soulmate au, friends to lovers, tendo may be the only person in the world without a mark and it's quite hard to convince him that, most times, the universe doesn't know shit

“Holy shit, this is the best thing I ever tasted”.

“Don’t lie”.

“I’m not!”.

Tendo narrows his eyes, unimpressed.

“You said that about the last five bonbons”.

“Listen, the one with port and cinnamon was great n’all but this is a cookie dough brown butter bonbon. I’m blown away. I want to sleep with this one. I want to buy it dinner and then take it to bed”.

That’s when Satori laughs, loud and boisterous as he still allows himself to be around you. It makes you smile, seeing him happy.

“Tell me the secret to crafting these”.

“Again?”, he snorts, “I already explained the process a million times”.

“Wanna hear it again. I like how you talk about it”.

“Okay, weirdo”, there’s fondness and a silent invitation in the way he pushes the little box of his latest experiments towards you.

It’s soothing, comforting, listening to instructions you’re already familiar with. Tendo goes over how important it is to choose flavors that are fun and still be attentive enough to make sure the chocolate stands on its own: flavoring components should never completely ride over it. He skillfully exercises subtlety when coming up with new combinations, always keeps the interior so creamy and smooth the treat ends up melting in a delicious puddle on one’s tongue. The outer layer should never be too thick, chalky or cakey: that’s why he prefers to form most of the chocolates with his hands instead of using a mold.

There’s creativity involved in what he does but there’s also science. It requires a lot of patience, most of his work is made of tedious steps repeated over and over again within specific time limits and a perfectly calculated temperature. It fits him, you believe: Tendo’s always been diligent and persevering, no matter what the world threw at him.

He puts a lot of work in his boxes too, especially the ones he has to ship. They’re all triple-insulated, double-stuffed and always perfectly packed. A cute, colorful thank you card always goes hand in hand with each purchase, if he receives orders for a birthday or a special gift he’d even write a personal note as an addition. As a foreigner, it hasn't been easy to establish himself as a reliable chocolatier in a city like Paris, but he now has a pretty loyal clientele and the shop is basically never empty.

“That one’s my favorite”, Satori’s eyes zero on the bite-sized bonbon you’ve picked from the box.

You hum, appreciating the way the chocolate melts in your mouth. It’s not as good as the previous one but you recognize the artistry with which the flavors fuse with each other, chocolate ganache with clementine and hazelnuts, just a hint of lemon zest.

“They’re all incredible, ‘Tori. You’re very talented”. Tendo smiles.

“Thank you”, he mutters, grateful, “now, can we talk about it?”.

“There’s nothing to talk about”, you dangle your legs from the counter of the little production kitchen in the back of his boutique shop, closed for the day. It’s incredibly tidy, smells of soap and citrus.

“You impulsively booked a flight across the world because of a guy”.

Ouch.

“I flew across the world to visit my best friend”, you scowl, “thought he’d be happy to see me”.

“I’m fucking ecstatic, ma chérie”, it’s probably the happiest he’s been in years, “but we need to talk about it. Tell me what’s on your mind?”.

He can see the bags under your eyes, the usual brightness missing from your smile, playful vibration to your jokes absent. He knows you’re hurting and while he’d be thrilled to keep you in Paris for as long as you wish, Tendo has to know what’s broken before he even attempts to mend it. His gaze falls on a specific portion of skin of your wrist and a sigh slips past his lips.

“He broke up with me”, you articulate slowly, “said we weren’t compatible. Said it’s safer to abandon the delusional ideas that drew us close to each other and do things how they’re supposed to be done. According to the plan”, there’s a grimace on your face that pairs well with how you spit out the last words.

“Did you show him?”.

“No, you know I don’t do that anymore. He didn’t see mine and I never wanted to see his. He agreed to that”.

“Right”.

“And then, I don’t know, he did what everyone always does. Changed his mind”.

Satori sighs. Truthfully, he’s always been a little sad about your mark being permanently covered with thick foundation, concealer or whatever else. It’s been years. He misses seeing the little crooked triangle on your wrist.

“Well, maybe…”, he starts but is soon interrupted by a loud scoff.

“Don’t”.

“But they’re not wrong. The universe has it all layed out for you, maybe it’s time you stop being so stubborn”.

“I don’t care about the universe, Satori. The universe is not going to take away that choice from me, it should belong to me. I don’t want to be destined to someone, I want to be chosen by them”.

He deflates in the plastic chair he’s sitting on. Can’t really argue with that logic.

Ever since middle school, when your mark first appeared, you never wanted to succumb to the whole the cosmos has already decided who the perfect person for me is bullshit. You simply can’t accept giving up the freedom of falling in love with whoever you wish to pursue, regardless of the universe agreeing or not. That’s why you never really cared about matching marks and all that jazz, always dated those who seemed not to care either. But after a number of failed relationships, it became painfully obvious that deep down, everyone always believes marks are the real deal. It’s why you decided you never wanted to see the mark of the next guys you’d date, and certainly didn’t want to show yours anymore. Sometimes it’s even hard to remember it’s still there, underneath stubborn layers of concealer. You hated it your whole life.

“You’re right. It’s your life, you should live it however you see fit”, they’re idiots for giving up on someone like you in the name of a dumb sign or whatever anyway.

“I thought you’d understand this more than anyone, you’ve always hidden your mark too. I don’t even know what it looks like and it’s okay! It’s yours! Shouldn’t belong to anyone else’s prying eyes”, you pick another chocolate truffle from the special box he’s sorted for you. It’s red velvet flavored.

Tendo insisted on calling his shop like that, rouge velours, deaf to the literal translation not being entirely correct. The french need to associate the word gâteau to it, it has to be a red velvet cake. But he didn’t care, adamant in going with just red velvet.

It was a joke you had blurted out at the end of high school, sitting on the curb outside your favorite konbini on the way home, another summer evening made of snacks shared underneath the street lamps. Satori said he wanted to move to France and learn how to make handmade chocolates, open a shop and everything. You suggested it should’ve been called red velvet, would’ve paired well with his hair. It never crossed your mind that he would take your suggestion seriously.

Frankly, Tendo’s not changed much since high school. He’s a little taller, broader in the shoulders, prefers a buzz cut. He’s still cheerful, less loud if you’re not around, enjoys singing made up tunes to himself while he works, occasionally takes part in volleyball games when neighbors or friends from the gym invite him. More than anything, he’s still the kindest, most generous friend one could have.

You used to be a little jealous of Ushijima, never one to accept easily to be downgraded in the best friends ranking system. As a teenager, it was hard to acknowledge that Satori’s heart is simply big enough to fit everyone he cares about in there. Not many people realized how much of an honor that was anyway, so there was plenty of space.

He still calls Ushijima to check up on him and the fact that they declared to be best friends during a television show didn’t leave a sour taste in your mouth as it would’ve back then. Wakatoshi is a nice guy, it definitely grew on you and it now gives you comfort knowing that Satori gets to throw the blanket of his affection over more than one person’s shoulders.

Not a day goes by without missing him, different time zones making it even more complicated to keep up with each other. Yet, he’s always the one willing to stay up late to talk to you, insists that while you work in the morning, he enjoys crafting chocolates in the middle of the night. That hardly matters, since you know he has to wake up early to open the shop.

“Hard to hide something you don’t have”, he grins from where he’s sitting, in front of you. Your dangling legs come to a halt.

“What?”.

“I don’t have a mark”, Satori shrugs, “not a big deal”.

“That’s impossible”.

“You’ve seen me naked”.

“Because you didn’t lock the damn bathroom door!”, your face heats up at the memory belonging to so many years ago. He snickers.

“Well, if I had a mark you’d know!”.

You pause, incredulous.

“Did you check your nails? Maybe it was in your hair and you shaved it off. Everyone has a mark!”.

“I don’t have it”, he knows, he’s checked every inch of his body for too long before giving up, “don’t act so shocked, it makes perfect sense”.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”.

Satori shrugs, a timid smile on his lips.

“I’m damaged goods. I wouldn’t expect to be the right fit for anyone, the universe decided to spare me and a potential unfortunate match the embarrassment”.

To him, it’s perfectly normal that there’s no one right for him out there. Or rather, that he’s not the right person for anyone. Who would want that, anyway? The guy who’s always been too weird to be looked at normally. The guy who always stands out the wrong way. If the universe has decided to be merciful enough to spare him the disappointment flashing over someone’s face upon discovering that he’s their soulmate, the only thing Tendo should feel is gratitude.

“Don’t say shit like that ever again, Satori. Damaged goods? What the hell? You’re the best person I know!”, you almost throw the chocolate box at his head, “anyone would be lucky to have you as their soulmate. Anyone. I’m certain you’re the perfect match for a lot of people but I find it very hard to believe they’d deserve you anyway”.

You’re his best friend, you’re supposed to say all that. Yet, kept silent by that fiery glare of yours, Tendo can’t help but feel his chest warm up.

He didn’t necessarily have a crush on you in high school, that’s what he told himself anyway. When you started going out with Eita, part of him was relieved you went for someone normal. His teammate fell into the right category: Semi was attractive, had good grades, knew his way around girls. It was a good reminder of what Tendo wanted for you, of what you deserved. He cared deeply about your happiness and would’ve went to impossible lengths to shield you from all the bad there was in the world. That still hasn’t changed. Your best friend was what he was always destined to be and it was more than what he could’ve asked for, anyway.

And so it wouldn’t have been right to fantasize, to admit to himself that for the first time ever since he was a kid, Tendo wished to be the opposite of what he was. He dreamed of a different childhood, school days filled with friends, practice bursting with laughter instead of whispers, not a reason in the world to direct him curious or grossed out stares. He wished he was handsome, charismatic, funny in a way that made girls laugh in sincere amusement instead of discomfort. He wanted so badly to be everything he was not, for you.

When he admitted to himself that he loved you, deeply, ferociously, in a way that would’ve scared off any other human being, high school was over and so was his volleyball dream. Another fantasy coming to an end. Satori announced he wanted to move to Paris, expecting life, distance, a different time zone, your boyfriends, to make the friendship too heavy of a task to keep up with.

And yet, you stayed by his side. Most importantly, you wanted him to stay by yours. Tendo has never been much used to the feeling of being wanted, his presence wasn’t exactly desired by other people throughout his life. But you and Paris both taught him that maybe he does have something to give, something people can be willing to accept. So what if that something isn’t romantic love? He’s already luckier than he ever imagined he would get. He’s going to be okay, as long as you’re his friend. He’ll manage.

“Satori”, you snap him back to reality, “I mean it. Fuck the universe”.

Honestly, the only thing he’s mad at the universe for is making you so deeply unhappy. Tendo’s not sure he can forgive the cosmos for failing you so many times.

“Yeah”, he agrees lightly, “fuck the universe”.

Maybe Tendo had a point when he referred to your little vacation as ‘impulsive’, given that you never really travelled outside of Japan before. Yet, what initially was an easy escape from your disappointing reality and a wonderful excuse to finally visit your best friend, soon turned into a delightful adventure.

You reciprocated Satori’s hospitality by being as useful as possible: you’d keep his place tidy and clean, get groceries, cook dinner. He’d insist on ordering out, would try to snatch the vacuum cleaner from your hand, sometimes Tendo would come home later than usual with his hands filled with groceries just so that you didn’t feel like you needed to refill the fridge. But you liked being there and you loved taking care of him, especially since he vehemently refused to go back to sleeping in his bed and offering you the couch instead.

On his rare free days, Satori gladly gives you a tour of the city and his favorite places. When he’s working, you’d explore Paris on your own, the little map he drew by hand safely nestled in your pocket. Yes, you obviously have a phone, but the map makes each stroll all the more special.

Being with him and feeling genuinely appreciated, in a city so wonderful and far away from home, made you realize that perhaps the universe got it all wrong. Maybe there’s no one out there with a mark similar to yours. Maybe you’re not a match for romantic love in the first place. You’re already lucky enough as it is, with a friend so wonderful you can share lovely dinners with over episodes of silly tv shows, in a tiny apartment filled with affection and laughter. It’s the best you’ve felt in years and the idea of leaving has never felt as dreadful.

But everyone has to get back to their life eventually: there’s your job, bills, rent, you haven’t visited your parents in a while. All these things you’re having a real hard time caring about as Tendo offers another glass of wine, the bottle you’re sharing practically empty resting by his feet.

It’s your last night in Paris and he insisted on cooking for once, a full course dinner paired with an expensive Clos de la Roche. Notes of woods and cherries dance on your tongue when you take another sip and you shut your eyes for a moment, savoring the taste. How did you end up on his bedroom’s floor anyway? Was it him who suggested sitting on the carpet with your backs pressed against his bed? No, you’re almost certain it was you. Satori tries to be less weird as a grown up, by his own admission: he leaves odd suggestions and ideas to other people, too busy trying to fit in now.

You find yourself observing his profile as he torpidly blinks, his own gaze focused on the hands holding his glass. The line of his jaw, the perfect curve of his nose. You think he’s pretty, spiky hair no longer there to tear away one’s attention from his features.

“Did you date a lot, here?”, you ask, genuinely curious. He turns to look at you, amused.

“A lot? When did I ever date a lot?”, Tendo chuckles to himself but you recognize the hurt simmering underneath the humor. It hurts you, too.

“Well, did you date?”, your impatience feels surprising but there’s no time to dwell upon unfamiliar feelings, not as Satori hums with a lethargic nod.

“Yeah, a few times”.

“They didn’t ask about your mark?”.

Tendo’s lips twitch as he remembers how ecstatic the women he went out with were upon finding out that not only his mark didn’t match theirs, he didn’t even have one to begin with. He was the safest option they could ever date, no risk of forever.

“It’s easier to date someone you know you’re not gonna end up with”, he shrugs, “they felt more comfortable, it was fun and momentary, thus risk-free”.

You click your tongue in disapproval and Tendo cocks his head, confused by your scowl.

“They, they, they. I always hated this about you, you’re always focusing on what other people think. I want to know, how did you feel?”.

Maybe it’s the wine or maybe it’s the fact that you’re about to become a fugitive presence in his life once more, but for once Satori feels like huffing out his frustration.

“Like shit”, he admits with a sly smile, “I could fall for just about anyone and I’ll always know they’re not my person. I won’t ever have a person and it makes me feel like shit”.

You’re not sure why tears are suddenly pricking the corners of your eyes. Maybe it’s because it’s really hard to remember the last time Satori allowed himself to be vulnerable around you. It always felt like he talked more to Wakatoshi, man to man or whatever. You never felt like you could be fully there for him and now it’s almost too late again, only a few hours before you fly off to the other side of the world.

“I hate them”, you murmur, “it’s just cruel. You’re not supposed to be anyone’s temporary fixing”.

“I’m not ever going to be anything but that”.

“No, Satori-”, in the process of positioning yourself better in order to face him, you kick the not entirely empty glass previously resting by your leg. It’s gonna leave a stain but you’ll find a way to take care of it before you leave, this is more urgent. This requires you taking your friend’s face into your hands, to bring it closer to your determined gaze. “That’s not true. The universe doesn’t know shit, okay? I know you. You don’t need a fucking mark. In fact, you know what? I’m happy you don’t have one. Thank god. I-”, he gently puts his hands over yours and leans over to tenderly kiss your forehead. Your train of thought derails as he fixes you with an amused, fond stare.

“It’s okay. Really”, Tendo lowers your hands and then leaves them cold, head falling to the side, cheek pressed to the orange duvet cover of his bed. You’re pouting, looking more beautiful than ever underneath the dim lights of his room, and so he can’t hold his tongue.

“You know, I find it incredible that you haven’t been able to find your person yet, universe or not. How’s it possible that someone as wonderful as you is being dumped by complete idiots just because they believe in some stupid pre-decided romantic assignation?”.

You mirror his position and rest your head on the softness of his bed. Despite being still on the floor, it almost feels as if you’re lying next to each other.

“They don’t believe I’m wonderful. I guess I’m just momentary, too”.

He scoffs. Deep down, Tendo also believes everyone should be granted the freedom to pursue their desired relationship, especially you. Don’t they know how lucky they are? You ignore destiny to give those dumbasses a chance and they leave before they even get to realize what they’re missing out upon.

“I think marks are bullshit”, Satori gently takes your hand and traces your fingers with his own slowly, eyes still boring into yours, “in a world with no marks, they’d be on their knees thanking their lucky star you showed interest in them at all”.

You hum, a soft smile tugging at your lips.

Before Tendo interrupted your little motivational speech, you were about to tell him why it makes you happy that he doesn’t have a mark after all. Looking at him now, it’s all the more clear. It’s horrible and selfish and childish but, this way, you will never have to go through it: you’ll never have to find out that the one person who’s always been by your side, the one person who knows you better than you know yourself and still manages to love you, also isn’t the one.

Tendo is the greatest person you know, the only one you’d trust with your life. His heart is your favorite part of him: always stayed big enough to fit in all those who asked for access, kindness embedded so deep within him he never let the world’s cruelty affect it. Satori never stored an ounce of that nastiness people loved oh so much throwing at him, it let it become an armor instead. Steel made of insults, cruel jokes, mockery. It breaks your heart that he still wears it. It would break your heart to discover that someone like him isn’t destined to be yours after all, that the universe wouldn’t be benevolent enough to assign you the best friend you ever had as your soulmate.

“You don’t mean that”.

You blink, slowly, actually fighting to keep your eyes open.

“What?”.

“What you just said. You’re drunk”, he chuckles quietly and, horrifyingly, you realize your mouth decided to voice those thoughts out loud.

The shock lasts a few seconds. Tendo is no longer fiddling with your fingers but your hand is still in his and the more you look into those crimson irises, the less uncomfortable you feel about what you just said. Is it the wine or is it just right?

“You think I wouldn’t be happy if the universe assigned you as my soulmate?”.

“I think you wouldn’t hate it”, Tendo softly ponders, “but that’d be far from ideal”.

“Hey, you don’t get to decide that. Me and the universe would be agreeing for once”.

Satori swears his heart skips a bit. All those years, all that badly harbored hope, the entirety of his restraint crumbling pathetically after a few drops of expensive wine. You don’t mean that, you can’t mean that.

“You could look at me like that?”, the question is supposed to underline how ridiculous the idea is, but he realizes he just sounds wishful.

“I know you think it’d be hard but it really isn’t”, you laugh softly. You’re looking at him like that right now. As you abstendmindedly play with his fingers, thumb gently rubbing circles on the skin of his wrist, you appreciate the pink dusting his cheeks, the slightly furrowed brows, the sweetness of his questioning gaze.

Tendo exhales slowly. Neither of you is resting their head on his bed anymore, too captivated by each other. “I’m not sure I’d survive the discovery of you of all people, not being the one I’d be destined to stand with for the rest of my life. Because what a waste would be, for that person to be someone else”, it’s nothing but a whisper, raw honesty doing something funny to his stomach as it slips past his lips for the first time. There’s no one but you, honestly. He knows there’ll never be anyone else. The universe has planned love for those around him and an eternal curse for his heart.

“A terrible waste”, you agree and the hand not busy interlacing your fingers with his, suddenly closes around the soft fabric of his hoodie to bring him closer. Satori doesn’t dare move, let alone breathe, effectively paralized by the idea of indulging something you’ll regret the second it happens.

Except you don’t. When you kiss him, tentative at first, all the pieces fall right into place. Your lips curl into a small, knowing smile as the world slows down. Then finally, finally, he kisses you back. It’s deeper, a hand pressing to your cheek, it’s corrodingly tender and you feel yourself melting into his touch, into the genuine reverence he holds for you.

Tendo feels something unravel from within, the tangles and knots of hurt, uncertainty, combust and disappear into thin ashes. He’s too lost in the moment, too drunk on how close you’re holding him as your tongue brushes against his own, to pay any attention to the itchy feeling over the skin of his wrist. Right where your thumb is pressing, a crooked triangle appeared at last.

#eva's sugar apple ✿#angst #fluff #hurt/comfort #soulmates #tendou x reader #tend

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suplicyy · 5 months ago

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You bringing him a bento for the first time!

Haikyuu boys x Gn!Reader

— Summary: How would he react to receiving a bento at school that you made especially for him.

— Characters: Yamaguchi, Kenma, Akaashi, Oikawa, Tendou.

— Tags/Genre: Gn!Reader | Fluff

— Idea by: @sarasversionworld

Yamaguchi Tadashi

He never thought he would receive something like this until he met you.

You always treat him with so much love and affection, that he even thought about the possibility of this happening one day, but he always thought he was dreaming too much.

But when you appeared at his desk holding a small box wrapped in a flowery cloth, he felt like he might pass out right there.

Yamaguchi is someone who is very insecure about himself, as he has not received attention from any person in a romantic way, so receiving something simple but as comforting as a homemade lunch means a lot to him.

"Huh!? This is for me...? T-Thank you very much!!"

You can be sure he was all flushed when he took the bento from your hands.

And if you have any doubts that he didn't like it, put it out of your mind immediately! Tsukishima will definitely complain to you the next day saying that Yamaguchi talked about your bento all day.

Kenma Kozume

We all know that Kenma is someone who eats very little, and it's no wonder he has the smallest appetite in the series.

You worry a lot about his diet and how it affects his well-being, and as he is a volleyball player, he needs to eat well to be in good shape for every game!

And to help him, you thought about making a complete bento for him at least once a week.

So when you walked towards him with a bento box in your hands, he didn't think it was for him and that it was your own bento, but those thoughts soon dissipated when you shyly handed him the box perfectly wrapped in a polka dot cloth.

Obsessed with technology, Kenma always has his cell phone or console in his hand while eating a meal.

Then It was an unexpected surprise to see him putting away his video game to eat the bento you made for him.

And if you give him a delicious slice of apple pie, he will definitely try to eat better to get the dessert.

Akaashi Keiji

As someone who has the habit of taking care of others around him, he was probably the one who gave you a bento earlier, so as a thank you, you decided to make one for him too.

Even if he never said it to you, it's quite noticeable how much he likes onigiris, seeing as he brought one to school almost every week.

And that was why the bento you prepared was full of onigiri of different flavors, as you weren't really sure which flavor was his favorite.

Akaashi would certainly be very grateful for the surprise, and he may be a little shy about the gift and sometimes doesn't show his emotions as much, but you've known him long enough to know that he loved the bento you prepared for him.

"Oh, that's for me?" He takes the bento from your hands, and when he opens it, he finds onigiris that you made yourself.

"Thank you, my love." He gives you a small smile, and when no one is looking, he plants a kiss on your cheek.

Also, don't be surprised if Bokuto appears out of nowhere and eats some of the onigiris you made for Akaashi, he usually eats his friends' snacks (and doesn't share when someone wants to eat his snack💀).

Oikawa Tooru

He has certainly received several bentos or snacks from his fans, and no matter how willingly he accepts each gift, he has never been so interested in it.

But his opinion is totally different when it comes to you, he appreciates every thing you do for him.

We all know he can be a little cheeky sometimes, so expect to get a comment from him bragging about himself.

"But of course you wouldn't resist the thought of spoiling me, I'm irresistible after all." says Tooru giving you a wink.

Just give him a serious look and he stops talking in the same second...😭

Oikawa will beg you to feed him, blatantly lying that his hand is hurting at that moment.

He'll be bragging to his third-year friends about how he has such an amazing partner and they don't, but not until Iwazumi threatens to throw him off a cliff.

Tendou Satori

Just like Yamaguchi, Tendou is someone who has never caught anyone's attention romantically, and is even excluded because of his different appearance than other people.

So when he receives a bento from someone he loves so much, he will definitely remember it forever.

Trust me, he'll have a passionate smile written on his face and with the brightest eyes while listening to you talk about how you prepared his favorite food.

He would probably first make some joke about the situation, to try to ease his own shyness, but later he will genuinely show his gratitude in every possible way.

Tendou loves being around you, so expect lots of hugs and little kisses during lunch, in addition to his lots of compliments for the bento you made.

The next day, he probably would surprise you with a dessert he made especially for you, like truffles, cookies or even cupcakes!

And please give him lots of compliments too!! This way, he will prepare something every week for you.🌷

— A/N: They had already sent me this idea a long time ago, and only now have I managed to have the creativity to write something about it.😭 Anyway, thank you very much for your help!! And I will certainly do that other idea of yours that you sent me!

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milktei · 9 months ago

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Homecoming

Ushijima Wakatoshi x gn!reader

Genre: Sickfic, hurt comfort

Warnings: Slight manga spoilers

Requests: Closed*

a/n: hello hello! (is acting like i haven’t been gone for forever), can you believe i found this just sitting on a random note in my phone 90% done???? i literally wrote this over a year ago and never found the motivation to finish it ;-; due to its age toshi might be a bit ooc.

anyways, i’m not entirely back yet but i keep seeing lovely comments and reblogs that just make me want to start writing again ;-; maybe with the haikyuu movie being released soon my motivation will amp back up. ALSO i’m gonna try to start reblogging regularly again

*request box is still technically “closed” but if anyone has some genshin or *ahem* Baldurs gate 3 requests, i may be inclined to write if they pique my interest :)

enjoy!

If there was one thing that you knew for an absolute fact. it would be that volleyball would always be his main priority.

You knew this well before you started dating him, it was part of the reason you refused to admit your true feelings for him. You refused to take him away from his first love. Something that he was so visibly passionate about.

So you stayed on the sidelines, watching wistfully as the boy you had a crush on rose higher and higher, while you stood on the ground looking up in awe. This was comfortable, you were content with just watching and admiring. It was all you thought you were able to do.

Until he had asked you out first.

You had genuinely thought that Tendou was joking when he had told you that the Ushijima Wakatoshi saw you as anything more than one of the team’s managers.

His face was always devoid of emotion. Your interactions were limited to him nodding in thanks as you gave him a towel or water bottle, or him humming in acknowledgment as you relayed to him the notes you took after the most recent practice match.

And yet you found yourself standing in front of him, just outside the gym after practice, heart absolutely racing as he asked you out on a date.

Your first date was awkward to say the least. Having never spoken outside of club activities, you found it hard to keep a conversation flowing as you two sat in a cafe sipping your drinks.

He had walked you back to your dorm that day, but before you could go in, he had grabbed your hand.

You stared in shock at the large hand enveloping yours, “Ushijima?”

Suddenly, you felt a tiny gust of wind and a slight pressure against your forehead. You could only stammer dumbly as you realized the pressure was his lips.

He pulled away after a moment. He was heavily avoiding eye contact and turned his head to the side, but you could see the tips of his ears turning red.

“I don’t know much when it comes to this stuff. But I know I would like to go out again… if that’s okay with you of course.”

You gaped at the boy in front of you “I- um we…” you took a deep breath to centre yourself and smiled “Yes I would like to go out with you again Ushijima.”

Your relationship progressed quite fast after that. More dates, hanging out with him and Tendou in their dorm.

You were there for everything, cheering him on during games, you were the first person he would seek out when he won, you comforted him after a loss.

Your relationship lasted through high school and even university. It wasn’t long before you two ended up moving in together.

When Wakatoshi found his place with the Schweiden Adlers you were ecstatic. You had also just landed a great job and it felt like your two were simply cruising through life with ease.

Unfortunately your seemingly perfect life would never last forever.

Being in the v-league, volleyball seemed to fill his schedule more now than ever. Constant practice, games outside of the city even in other countries sometimes.

You hardly saw Ushijima anymore despite living with him. Even when you did, he was tired or just about to leave for practice.

It felt like you were pushed back into the sidelines. Watching hopelessly as he rose higher and higher, to places where you could not reach. It was no longer comfortable, you could no longer look in awe, but in despair as you watch him slip from the already loose grasp you had on him.

You couldn’t even remember the last time you went on a date. Every time you mentioned doing something in his free time he had brushed you off.

Which led you to now.

You woke up to an empty bed yet again. It was your day off so you weren’t rushing to get out of bed.

Yet you felt off.

The dryness in your mouth and throat is what you felt first. Then how runny your nose was. Finally, the cold sweat you were experiencing.

You were definitely sick.

You groaned to yourself and pulled the blanket to your chin. Hoping that you could possibly sleep it off.

Yet your efforts were in vain. After what felt like hours of trying to fall back asleep you realized that you were just going to feel even more miserable without anything to eat or at least drink.

You pushed yourself up onto your elbows and immediately regretted it. The world spun around you and your entire body shook. You collapsed back onto your pillow and panted at the exertion it took.

As you caught your breath you turned your head towards your bedside table, where your phone sat charging.

Weakly, you lifted your arm and with a bit of effort you were able to grab your phone. As it turned on you winced at how bright the screen was and with bleary eyes you managed to open your contacts.

The words seemed to blend together as you searched through your contacts, you nearly sobbed in relief as your eyes finally focused on the name of your best friend.

You clicked the call button and dropped you hand to beside your ear, preparing for the way your throat would undoubtedly hurt as you spoke.

After a couple rings you heard the person on the other side pick up and you quickly began speaking, desperate to get them to come quickly so that you could hopefully feel better.

“Hey, I’m sorry if you’re busy but do you think you can bring me some drinks and maybe food? i’m not feeling the best and I don’t know if I can get up at all.”

The person on the other end of the phone began talking but you could barely decipher it as your head spun and your body shivered despite how warm you were.

“-/n….y/n?”

You froze at the deep voice on the other side of the phone. You pulled away an looked at the screen, nearly breaking down at the sight of Wakatoshi’s name instead of your friends. Quickly you put it back against your ear

“Ah I’m sorry Toshi. I meant to call a friend you’re probably busy you don’t have to come back home.” you said quickly, actually sitting up as you rambled nervously, reprimanding yourself for interrupting his practice.

You had called and texted him during practice before. At one point he was fine with it, responding during breaks or calling you back once practice had finished. But lately you had been greeted with one worded responses, or you were just ignored.

One time you even tried to pry once he got home from practice, asking him about his odd lack of response. That day, he had turned to glare at you.

“I’m busy y/n. I don’t have time for things like that.”

“You’re sick?” your thoughts were interrupted by his voice again. He used a tone much gentler than the one he had used that day.

“A little bit, nothing to worry about I can just call-“ you cut yourself off with a harsh cough, unable to hold back the whimper as your throat throbbed in protest.

“I’m coming home.”

Whether from his words or the fever you couldn’t tell, but a chill ran down your spine

“N-no toshi you don’t have to I’ll be fine don’t leave practice just because of me”

“I’ll stop by the store for some ingredients don’t get out of bed.”

And with that the call ended. Slowly, you took the phone away from your ear and looked at it in shock. He was leaving practice early. Something you weren’t aware he was willing to ever do.

At least not recently.

Only when the shock settled, did you realize just how much your body was protesting you sitting up. So, despite your better judgment, you lied back down, waiting in nervous anticipation for him to come home.

What might have been half an hour felt like forever as you laid in bed. Shivering underneath the comforter despite sweating profusely, rubbing your nose raw from having to blow it constantly, all whilst it felt like you were spinning.

In your haze you didn’t even hear the front door or you bedroom door open. How could you when your body demanded all the attention you had?

Wakatoshi stood frozen in the doorway, a plastic bag hanging off his arm, silent as he took in the state you were in.

How hadn’t he noticed before he left? you couldn’t have possibly entered this state within the couple of hours he was gone.

He felt a tug of unease pull at his heart and willed himself to walk up to you.

“y/n,” he called softly. sitting on your side of the bed.

You flinched at the sound of his voice not knowing he was in the room. Slowly, you opened your eyes and winced at the light in the room.

“Toshi,” you croaked pathetically.

His face softened and he brushed your damp hair away from your face, frowning when he felt how warm your forehead was.

“Hey,” he greeted, he lifted a hand and that’s when you saw a thermometer from the medicine cabinet in his hand “can you open your mouth please?“

Weakly, you did as he asked, and as it sat in your mouth, he quickly walked towards the master bathroom. Mumbling something about a towel.

You didn’t hear him however as you turned your head back towards the ceiling and already felt your eyes drooping again.

You only came to when you felt something cool against your forehead, you opened your eyes to see Toshi looking down at you with furrowed eyebrows. The thermometer beeped and when he looked at the reading the crease deepened.

Toshi disappeared for a moment again, making his presence known when he began to take the comforter off of you.

You whined as he did so, shivering even harder as air hit your body. You even sat up to try and grab it back.

“‘s cold toshi,” you slurred.

He was quick to place a thinner sheet on top of you “I know dear, but we have to get your body temperature down.”

As you pulled the blanket closer Wakatoshi opened the bag he brought with him. You heard the rattle of a pill container and then the crack of a bottle being opened. Wakatoshi turned to you and held out some medicine and water.

You reached out a shaky hand to take the medicine, placing the pill in your mouth. Wakatoshi helped you hold the bottle, noting how weak your arms were.

You sighed in temporary relief when you finished drinking, glad that your mouth felt less dry.

Wakatoshi allowed a small relieved smile to cross his face and he quickly helped you lay back down.

“I’ll make you some food, stay here.”

Once he was sure you were comfortable he made his way to the kitchen quickly getting his ingredients ready.

It was only when he was midway through washing some rice when he took a moment to pause.

When was the last time he had cooked for you?

Wakatoshi continued his task albeit feeling guilty thinking about how you’ve been the one cooking and eating dinner alone for some time now. It used to be a shared responsibility. Now he usually came home late so you would put a plate aside for him or he would go out to eat with the team.

He was still deep in though as he pushed the bedroom door open with his back, a tray consisting of a bowl of rice porridge and a cup of tea left a trail small trail of steam as he walked.

You were asleep but woke easily at the sound of his footsteps. It took a moment for your eyes to focus on him.

He gestured with the tray, “Do you think you can eat?”

You looked at the food, perfectly plated and garnished, your mouth watering slightly at the savoury smell.

“I think so. At least a little bit.”

He helped you sit up, and when he saw the weakness still in your arms he fed you himself.

You hummed contently at the first bite of food. You had missed this more than you thought you did.

After about half the bowl was done and your tea finished, you signalled that you stomached as much as your body would allow. Now with your body temperature having gone down and your stomach full you could feel yourself becoming less and less loopy. You watched quietly as he put the tray on the bedside table. When he was finished with that, he sat still on the bed and stared at the wall.

You looked at his face, despite it deceptively lacking emotion, you knew better than anyone else that something was bothering him.

However before you could ask he began to speak

“Why wasn’t I the first person you contacted when you realized that you were sick?”

You froze, looking down in your lap fiddling wIth a loose thread in the blanket.

“…Well…you’ve been busy as of late….I didn’t think it was important enough to take you out of practice. Someone less busy would have probably been willing to come.”

He slowly turned to face you. “You didn’t think that your wellbeing was important enough?”

You shrugged, “Well volleyball is always going to be your biggest priority. I’m just sick it’ll pass.”

Obvious distress crossed Ushijima’s face “y/n, you are my main priority.”

You paused. Perhaps it was time to tell him how you were really feeling instead of dancing around the subject.

“…It hasn’t felt that way lately.” you say hesitantly, your voice small.

Wakatoshi faltered. You kept looking down, almost scared to look him in the eye.

“I was content with that at first, your love of volleyball is admirable, it’s was drew me to you at first. But it always made you seem unattainable. When you asked me on that date all those years ago I was over the moon,” you paused to clear your throat huffing in annoyance as your sickness interrupted you.

“But I can only endure so much Toshi. Nowadays it feels like your going where I can’t reach. You’re always busy, which is understandable for a professional athlete… I just wish it wasn’t to the point where I’m worried about your reaction if I were to try to talk to you.”

There was a shift in the mattress. Then familiar arms that you had been longing for wrapped tightly around you.

“Toshi you’re gonna get sick.”

“It’s fine,”

“but-“

“I’m sorry y/n.”

you stiffened but stayed quiet to let him speak.

“You’ve done so much for me without complaint and I have done so little in return. i’m sorry for letting it get to this point. It took you getting this sick for me to realize.”

A stormy look crossed his face, “I… I’ve been struggling to balance work and home, in return I’ve been neglecting you and letting how tired I am influence my reactions. you don’t deserve that. you are my first priority y/n, I don’t know what I would do without you.”

You sniffled and wiped a tear that fell from your face. You didn’t even know you were crying. For a man usually so quiet and stoic, he always knew what to say to you when he needed to. It was always so endearing to you.

“If I had known you were going to take it this well I would’ve said something earlier,” you say softly.

He smiles sadly, “I haven’t been making it seem that way hmm?”

You shake you’re head but smile back, “no”

He sighs to himself but places a gentle kiss against your forehead much like how he did all those years ago. Your eyes flutter shut and you make let out a pleased sigh. You were much more comfortable than you were when you first woke up.

“We’ll talk more once you get better. I promise,” He eventually says. holding you a bit closer to him.

You nodded and snuggled closer to his chest. While it wasn’t an immediate fix, it was a start.

“Sounds good to me Toshi.”

He smiled down at you “Sleep, I’ll be here when you wake up.”

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu reader insert #haikyuu oneshot #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu!! x reader #ushijima x you #ushijima imagine #ushijima x reader #ushijima wakatoshi #wakatoshi x reader #haikyuu wakatoshi #hq angst #haikyuu angst

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cottonlemonade · 11 months ago

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Masterlist

divider by me 🐠

🌟 Note, all works are x chubby!Reader 🌟

about me

Karasuno

characters written so far: > Sawamura Daichi > Sugawara Koushi > Hinata Shoyo > Kageyama Tobio > Tsukishima Kei > Ennoshita Chikara > Tsukishima Akiteru > Azumane Asahi > Nishinoya Yuu

Nekoma

characters written so far: > Kuroo Tetsuro > Kozume Kenma > Inuoka So

Fukurodani

characters written so far: > Bokuto Kotarou > Akaashi Keiji

Aoba Johsai

characters written so far: > Oikawa Tooru > Iwaizumi Hajime > Hanamaki Takahiro > Matsukawa Issei > Kyotani Kentaro

Inarizaki

characters written so far: > Kita Shinsuke > Miya Osamu > Miya Atsumu > Suna Rintaro > Oomimi Ren

Shiratorizawa

characters written so far: > Ushijima Wakatoshi > Tendou Satori > Semi Eita

Date Tech

characters written so far: > Futakuchi Kenji > Koganegawa Kanji > Aone Takanobu

Kamomedai

characters written so far: > Hirugami Sachiro > Hoshiumi Korai

Itachiyama

characters written so far: > Sakusa Kyoomi > Komori Motoya

Miscellaneous

🫧 Meian, a wife guy [drabble]

🫧 Meian - Being MSBY’s Single Dad word count: 1k, secret established relationship

Multi-Character Stories

🫧 When He Realizes You Are The One [drabble]

characters: Bokuto, Tendou, Kuroo, Atsumu, Oikawa, Noya, Sugawara, Makki, Daichi, your fave 🫧 IKEA Assembling Chaos [drabble]

characters: Kuroo, Bokuto, Atsumu, Futakuchi, Mattsun, Makki, Noya, Tendou, Oikawa, Ukai, Konoha, Suna, your fave

🍡 The Health Benefits Of Period Sex [drabble]

characters: Tendou, Kuroo, Makki, Mattsun, Futakuchi, Atsumu, Osamu, Suna, Konoha, Noya, Oikawa, your fave

🍡 Chub Rub [drabble]

characters: Tendou, Kuroo, Futakuchi, Konoha, Noya, Sugawara, Atsumu, Osamu, Mattsun, Iwaizumi, Hoshiumi, Suna, Yaku, your fave

🫧 Watching The Great British Bake Off [reaction]

characters: Sugawara, Bokuto, Hinata, Yamaguchi, Aone, Asahi, Tendou, Kita, Kuroo, Ennoshita, Akaashi, Koganegawa, Makki, Hirugami, Kageyama, Aran, Goshiki, Semi, Kenma, Futakuchi, Noya, Konoha, Iwaizumi, Tsukishima, Hoshiumi, Suna, Shirabu, Daichi, Ushijima, Mattsun, Osamu, Atsumu, Hoshiumi, Hinata, Bokuto, Oikawa, Yaku, Sakusa, Inuoka

🫧 Teaching You How To Ride A Bike [drabble]

characters: Daichi, Sugawara, Asahi, Noya, Hinata, Kageyama, Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, Ennoshita, Kita, Aran, Atsumu, Osamu, Suna, Oomimi, your fave

🍡 A Risky Game [drabble]

characters: Bokuto, Atsumu, Osamu, Noya, Kuroo, Futakuchi, Konoha, Sugawara, Mattsun, Makki, Tendou, Semi, Iwaizumi, Oikawa, Post-time skip Hinata, Ukai, Suna, Hoshiumi, Yaku, Hirugami, Daichi, your fave

🫧 Hand Warmers [drabble]

characters: Tendou, Atsumu, Osamu, Suga, Noya, Komori, lowkey Tsukki, Hinata, Ushijima, Kenma, Suna, Hoshiumi, Hirugami, Yaku, Oikawa, Iwaizumi, Futakuchi, Bokuto, Kuroo, Kageyama, Mattsun, Makki, Semi, Konoha, your fave

🌱 Never Too Much [drabble]

characters: Tendou, Yaku, Suna, Noya, Kuroo, Atsumu, Oikawa, Bokuto, Mattsun, Komori, your fave

🍡 One More Snooze [drabble]

characters: Osamu, Atsumu, Tendou, Komori, Kuroo, Bokuto, lowkey Kenma, Oikawa, Meian, Suna, Nishinoya, Konoha, Futakuchi, Hirugami, Sugawara, Yaku, Mattsun, Kita, your fave

🫧 Pants vs. Skirts [drabble]

characters: Tendou, Kuroo, Komori, Oikawa, Nishinoya, Konoha, Atsumu, Bokuto, Sugawara, Semi, Yaku, Inuoka, Matsukawa, Suna, Hoshiumi, your fave

🫧 fluff // 🌱 comfort // 🍡 suggestive // 🪭 spice // 🌧️ angst/hurt

request events

01 [closed] 🍋 Lemonade Stand (100 followers)

02 [closed] 🍋 Lemonade Stand (spring)

03 [closed] ☕️ Cozy Café (300 followers)

04 [closed] 🍱 Lunch Break (400 followers)

05 [closed] 🍋 Lemonade Stand (summer)

06 [closed] 🎃 Trick or Treat Movie Night (fall/900 followers)

07 [closed] 🎓 University AU (fall/winter/1100 followers)

08 [closed] End Of Year Ask Event

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suyaaachin · 6 months ago

Text

MULTIPLE CHARACTERS

when he's your rival

ft. kei tsukishima, tooru oikawa, tetsurou kuroo, atsumu miya

irrevocable words

ft. osamu miya, tetsurou kuroo, keiji akaashi, kei tsukishima

defending s/o from jealous girls

ft. tetsurou kuroo, tobio kageyama, kei tsukishima

protecting their crush on a subway

ft. keiji akaashi, wakatoshi ushijima, kei tsukishima

getting stuck in the locker room

ft. hajime iwaizumi, kei tsukishima, tetsurou kuroo, keiji akaashi

insecure s/o reacting to a confession part 2

ft. kotaro bokuto, tobio kageyama, kei tsukishima

part 2; ft. hajime iwaizumi, satori tendou, issei matsukawa

accidental ambush

ft. kotaro bokuto, tooru oikawa, wakatoshi ushijima, tetsurou kuroo

the morning after

ft. tobio kageyama, osamu miya, hajime iwaizumi, satori tendou

comforting their s/o after a major surgery

ft. shinsuke kita, rintaro suna, osamu miya, atsumi miya

asking them to pose for your drawing

ft. tetsurou kuroo, keiji akaashi, satori tendou

turn and keep going

ft. tetsurou kuroo, hajime iwaizumi, keiji akaashi

spell it out for me

ft. kei tsukishima, yaku morisuke, tooru oikawa

first time holding hands

ft. koushi sugawara, hajime iwaizumi, tadashi yamaguchi, keiji akaashi

s/o who cries a lot

ft. keiji akaashi, kei tsukishima, koushi sugawara

calling them by their full name

ft. daichi sawamura, hajime iwaizumi, keiji akaashi, morisuke yaku

too hot to cuddle

ft. atsumu miya, osamu miya, tetsurou kuroo, kenma kozuma, tooru oikawa, hajime iwaizumi, kiyoomi sakusa

back cracking

ft. atsumu miya, kei tsukishima, hajime iwaizumi, tetsurou kuroo, rintarou suna, shinsuke kita, shoyo hinata, tooru oikawa, keishin ukai

is your girlfriend single?

ft. atsumu miya, rintaro suna, kotaro bokuto

only love can hurt like this

ft. tetsurou kuroo, kotaro bokuto, tooru oikawa, hajime iwaizumi

how they comfort you

ft. hajime iwaizumi, kotaro bokuto, kiyoomi sakusa

switch and bending machine

ft. kei tsukishima, kenma kozume, rintaro suna, tobio kageyama, eita semi, tetsurou kuroo, lev haiba, hajime iwaizumi, keiji akaashi

"oh no, you've got it all wrong. she does bite." part 2

ft. inarizaki, shiratorizawa

part 2; ft. karasuno, nekoma

domesticity with them

ft. hajime iwaizumi, tetsurou kuroo, keiji akaashi, aran ojiro, wakatoshi ushijima

s/o having a panic attack at night

ft. yu nishinoya, kei tsukishima, tetsurou kuroo

falling asleep on him part 2 part 3 part 4

ft. kei tsukishima, keiji akaashi, hajime iwaizumi

part 2; ft. kenma kozume, tetsurou kuroo

part 3; ft. tooru oikawa, atsumu miya

part 4; ft. tadashi yamaguchi, wakatoshi ushijima, osamu miya

accidentally hitting them in the balls part 2

ft. kotaro bokuto, tooru oikawa

part 2; ft. shoyo hinata, tetsurou kuroo

best friends

ft. shoyo hinata, satori tendou, kotaro bokuto and keiji akaashi

shutting you up (lovingly) part 2

ft. tooru oikawa, hajime iwaizumi, atsumu miya

part 2; ft. issei matsukawa, keiji akaashi, kotaro bokuto, rintaro suna

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ushouldwatchhaikyuu · 6 months ago

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Could you make headcanons abt a confident!chubby!poc!reader. Like when i search up haikyui x chubby reader all i get are hurt comfort stories about being insecure, and like everyone gets insecure but it gets to the point where people think everyone who isnt built like a coke bottle hates themselves 🙄. AND DONT GET ME STARTED ON THE ONES MADE FOR POC!!! Cause why are they all so stereotypical?! Like just because im black doesn’t mean im sexy redds clone😭🙏🏽.

Anyways back to the main plot🤭. I was thinking like reader with a style that has y2k/mcbling aspects (lowrise jeans, crop tops, chunky jewlery, etc) and is super bubbly. And back to he chubby thing, like ok. When i read x chubby readers, its always like fat ass and a lil bit of tummy, which is fine cause some people are built like that but not a lot🧍🏽‍♀️🧍🏽‍♀️. Like i have thighs, big boobs(pray for my spine🫡🙏🏽😭) and tummy, but I also have hipdips that dig into my butt bro. So like yea🧍🏽‍♀️. Haikyuu headcanons (you can pick the characters you think will fit🫶🏽) x confident!chubby!poc! reader

(i apologize for the yap session i have lots of opinions on this topic)

Chubby!POC!Reader x Haikyuu Headcanons

ft: literally like half the team members of all the main teams

warnings: cussing

oh pal dw about it lmfao i get what u mean!! i hope these hcs satiate ur cravings 👍

since u didn't ask for any specific characters i just came up with a few hcs that i think could apply to multiple characters lol

credits: divider .

He lowkey likes it when people look at his partner and assume he can't carry them, but then he just goes "oh yeah? lemme just-" *picks u up and puts u on his shoulder without a single hint of struggling* 👍

Ushijima, Bokuto, Kuroo, Atsumu, Sakusa, Iwaizumi (but he wouldn't say it outloud lmao).

Can't pick you up? No problem, they wanna be the ones getting picked up anyways.

Yachi, Yamaguchi, Kenma, Tendou (u cant convince me he doesnt like getting picked up)

Can't pick you up? unacceptable. They're begging your forgiveness and spending hours at the gym until they can do it. Just give them a few months.

Nishinoya, Hinata, Hoshiumi, Kageyama, Terushima, Levi.

Became an absolute pro at finding your exact foundation shade. Like, has your exact match pinned down. Could just look at a foundation color and go "yeah that's their shade". Some may think it's a bit weird, but honestly it's so helpful sometimes.

Ushijima's autistic ass, Tsukishima, Sugawara, Asahi, Yachi, Sakusa and Osamu maybe?

Gets so excited over fashion, makeup, jewelry and all that stuff. Goes shopping/thrifting with you, pays for your nails and is very enthusiastic whenever you ask for their opinion on your outfits. Also lets you give them makeovers sometimes. They will absolutely serve cunt if you ask them to.

Hinata, Nishinoya, Atsumu, Yamaguchi, Tendou, Kuroo, Bokuto, Oikawa, Yachi, maybe Levi lmao. Hot take but Ushijima would absolutely do it too.

Does encourage your passions and interest and stuff but their sense of fashion is that of a rock. If rocks wore crocs with socks. Still go shopping with u tho and they make up for their lack of advice by paying for all ur stuff. They spoil u so fricking much.

Tsukishima, Kageyama, Akaashi, Iwaizumi, Suna, Daichi, Sakusa, Ennoshita, Kenma.

Paints/writes/does photography and will make the most beautiful jaw dropping mouth watering gorgeous absolutely stunning works of art portraying you in such a beautifully realistic way. They get your colors and shapes and curves so perfectly well, it's incredible– it shows just how much attention they pay to every little detail about you, and how much they love all of it.

Daichi, Asahi, Ushijima, Osamu, Ennoshita, Sakusa, Yamaguchi, Yachi, maybe Kageyama.

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mrs-kodzuken · 11 months ago

Note

Can I have a timeskip!Ushijima comfort fic? Like Ushi doesn't understand the concept of skinship like holding hands and hugs so he often shrugs off reader's attempts in skinships, which of course made reader feel sad ㅠㅠ

Thank you and have a nice day! <3

Understanding you ♡

Pairing: Aged up! Wakatoshi Ushijima x fem!reader

WC: 1.6k

Genre: slight angst to comfort/fluff

CW: fem!reader, inexperienced in relationships!Wakatoshi, slight angst from ushi :( , fluff and comfort all in the end :)) , maybe some self deprecation from reader, best friends with tendou, communication is always key

note: thank you for requesting this! I hope it’s up to your expectations, sugar!! <3

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

Being the girlfriend of the Wakatoshi Ushijima was something I didn’t expect would hurt this much. As his girlfriend, I understood the importance of volleyball since it quite literally is his career path. However, being in a relationship is a whole other aspect to think about.

There never really was anything that really stood out to me about his wrongdoings. He always made it to every dinner plan, he didn’t forget the classic month to month anniversaries, he seemed like he was just a gift from heaven.

I knew it was too good to be true when I realized we, or I, was severely lacking in the physical department of our relationship.

Ushijima and I never really got closer within touching or skin-ship distance. That really sucked for me and hurt my feelings since he aced every other aspect of our relationship, no pun intended.

I wasn’t sure if he was just uncomfortable with touching me or if he had some kind of weird feeling about touching me. However, with physical touch being my number one priority of love language I wasn’t sure how to go about telling him my feelings.

Giving Wakatoshi free rein to plan out his schedule, except for date nights, was a must. He is a grown man and I’m not his mother, but I always felt bad when there was something important, like this, to be talked about.

I couldn’t help but to bite my lip as I stared at our private text messages. His contact name, ‘Ushi baby’ stared right back at me whilst I tried to work up the courage to send a text.

Deciding against it, I threw my phone onto my bed and sighed loudly. He was at practice and had a game tomorrow so I didn’t want to bother him or cloud his mind with meaningless things like what I need to talk about.

I couldn’t help to wallow in my own pity. The clock on my white painted walls doing nothing but making the sound of ticking throughout my room which eventually annoyed me enough to leave.

It was around the time for Ushi’s practice to be over and I really wanted him to come over, I just didn’t know how everything would go.

Whenever we had first started dating I got introduced, and interviewed, by Wakatoshi’s best friend, Tendou. And now, Tendou was one of my closest friends so I decided to call the Chocolatier himself for support.

After the phone had rang for three seconds it picked up, “Hello! Hello!” the familiar voice sounded throughout my kitchen.

“Hey Ten! I am in need of advice and company.” I admitted due to the facetime call revealing his apron on with some stains of colors on it.

“Oh really?” He asked, drawing out the ‘really’.

“Yes, really. I need to talk to Wakatoshi, I’m just not sure how. Any ideas?”

“That depends on what you’re going to talk to him about. Saying the wrong thing could make him easily misunderstand what you mean and vice versa.” Tendou tried to poetically explain, as if I didn’t already know that.

“Yeah, thank you so much,” I rolled my eyes, “I’m feeling a bit.. lonely in our relationship lately. I need more physical affection from him and I’m not sure how to really bring it up because times that’s happened before.”

That little spill from me made memories pop up into my head of Ushijima rejecting my attempts for physical love.

I could only remember how he shrugged himself away from holding my hand or kissing me after I brought him a well-balanced lunch meal one day during practice.

I never felt more embarrassed or ashamed in my life. My own boyfriend rejected my advances to give him, and to receive love from him in front of his entire team.

It wasn’t the only time that that had happened. I tried doing it behind closed doors just in case he didn’t like publicly displaying affection. However, that didn’t work either when he moved away from me one night after being out to dinner.

From that point on it’s just been messaging, very little facetime, some phone calls, and occasionally visiting each other’s apartment. I wasn’t sure how to proceed with this, and I certainly didn’t think it was anywhere near enough to breaking up.

However, that doesn’t mean he didn’t hurt my feelings nor have been continuing to hurt them. Whether on purpose or not.

With Ushijima being a member of the Schweiden Adlers, I knew some of his teammates and occasionally talked with them about how my boyfriend was doing time to time.

However, I couldn’t help to not reach out to them within the last couple of weeks. I didn’t have the courage to confidently ask about him.

Tendou’s voice brought me back to where I needed to be, which was having this conversation to communicate my needs across to him.

“And since knowing him for a while helps my understanding, I think a simple conversation would do the trick. Honestly, I’m not sure why you called if you knew that too?” He questioned me, eyes peering dangerously close to mine through the tiny phone screen.

I bit my lip, “It’s just… he has a game tomorrow. I don’t want to ruin that by spouting dumb nonsense about how I’m not feeling this or that from him.”

Growing up, I’ve always considered other peoples thoughts, opinions, feelings before mine. It was just the kind of person I was, and now it hurts me the most when I need to express myself.

“Girl. Fuck that game.” He rolled his eyes at me.

“Yes Wakatoshi loves his career and it’ll always be there but you’re something in his life that can disappear at any moment. I think he’d want to know,” Tendou tried reasoning with my dumb logic as he pointed a wooden spoon in my direction.

I gave up. I knew in the back of my mind that Tendou was definitely right and I wasn’t but it was my own self that was keeping me from doing what I needed to do.

“Alright, I think I’ll ask him to come over tonight then.” I tried to say confidently after I made up my mind of what needed to be done.

“Great! When I’m in Tokyo next I’ll be sure to bring a little something for you and him.” Tendou winked at me before ending the facetime call.

That only left me to do one thing, text my boyfriend. I quickly sent him a text asking if it would be okay for him to come over after practice.

My nerves were all over the place as I waited for the tall, olive haired man to show up at my place.

Soon the door bell brought me out of my mind trance and when I opened the door I saw the one and only Ushijima.

“Hey Toshi, come in,” I widened the door after taking a good look at him.

It seemed like he came here right out of practice, he was still in his whole practice uniform. His usual stoic face didn’t change once I sat down on to my living room couch.

“Is something the matter, (Y/n)?” He bluntly asked, getting straight to the point with me.

I took a deep breath to prepare myself, “Yes, Toshi. There is something the matter. My feelings are hurt and have been hurt for a while due to the lack of physical touch in our relationship.” I paused for a moment to look over his face.

He seemed to be intently listening on every word I was saying which gave me the impression to keep going.

“I just want more skin ship with you like hugging, kissing, hang holding, or even just sitting beside you with arms touching. I feel deprived of that because you seem to always move away when I try to initiate it. Is there a reason or..?” I trailed off, finishing what I was saying and asking a question to see his side.

“I’m sorry for making you feel that way, (Y/n). I don’t understand the idea of that. It makes you feel more loved than usual?” He asked, trying to work around in his head of what I had mentioned.

“Well, yes. Without it I feel upset or rejected by you sometimes.” I hung my head low a bit, it was embarrassing having to discuss this. However, I was always one to get embarrassed or ashamed at anything I needed.

“I will try, for you.” He promised, his large hand reaching over to me and placing it on my knee. He was very warm and it traveled through my body.

I smiled a bit, “Thank you, I really appreciate it. I’m sorry for not telling you sooner.”

I scooted closer to him on the couch and he gave me his one million dollar small smile that I love. His arms wrapped around my shoulders whilst I hugged his torso. His lean but built, very built, body touched my soft one, I loved this feeling.

We stayed like that for a minute, nothing heard but the low volume of my living room TV and our breathing.

“Thank you, Toshi. I really appreciate that you’ll try for me.” I pulled away, already missing the hug but needing to say that to his face.

“Of course, love.” His hand came up to caress my face and I leaned into his touch.

The aching in my heart and body went away after discussing that with him. It was all just a bit miscommunication which was easily fixed after I expressed what I needed to.

I couldn’t be more content.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

a/n: I hope you enjoyed anon!! I’m terrible at writing for Ushijima but thank you for helping me extend the people I can write for :))

you all know my header rules, if not see pinned post!!

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lees-chaotic-brain-reblogs · 9 months ago

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Haikyuu Fic Recs

Note: I do sometimes link my reblogs bc there is literally nothing I hate more than clicking on a link only to arrive at the ghost blog page.

Blogs to just read through: @emmyrosee @screamin-abt-haikyuu @quirrrky @kairakeiji @augustinewrites @mysterystarz @tahdashi @haikyuuphilia @kitashinsvks @adoringhaikyuu

Oikawa

@atsumwah

If You Had to Pick (fluff)

@ktsumu

Fifth Time's the Charm (fluff)

@verahella

Dad Moments (fluff)

@earthtooz

Young and Beautiful (fluff)

@teddybeartoji

Helping him Stretch (suggestive)

@livinghostly

Back to It (fluff)

@oreosmama

Voicemails After Breakup (angst)

@chimielie

And They Were Roommates (misunderstandings)

Kuroo

@tetzoro

Loser Boyfriend Kuroo (fluff)

@rintaroll

Truth or Drink (exes to lovers)

@tetsuskei

Colleague (office au)

@clubkira

Power Outage (comfort)

@a4nnnnn

Love at First Bite (fluff)

@bluebird-in-the-breeze

The Cafe Critique Project (fluff)

Iwaizumi

@fuyuluvr

I Didn't Mean It (hurt/comfort)

@dumbseee

Idol Girlfriend (fluff)

@sugarlywhispers

Do Something Cute (fluff)

@bananawafers

The Perfect Fit (fluff)

@arhvste

Instagram (fluff)

Akaashi

@fuyuluvr

I Didn't Mean It (hurt/comfort)

@luvring

University with Akaashi (university au)

Ushijima

@ktsumu

A Childhood Bedroom (fluff)

@strwbrryeyes

As a Best Friend (fluff)

Kita

@atsumwah

If You Had to Pick (fluff)

Bokuto

@bananawafers

What Dating him Looks Like (fluff)

Tsukishima

@livinghostly

Cat's Out of the Bag (fluff)

Kenma

@verahella

Dad Moments (fluff)

Kageyama

@verahella

Dad Moments (fluff)

Nishinoya

@sugarlywhispers

Nightmare (comfort)

Tendou

@oreosmama

Voicemails After Breakup (angst)

Daichi

@atsumwah

If You Had to Pick (fluff)

Atsumu

@gojoath-deactivated20240402

Stay for Breakfast (fluff, comfort)

@hihello-pinky

Varsity Crush (fluff)

#lee's brain food #ushijima x reader #fic recs #oikawa x reader #daichi x reader #kageyama x reader #kenma x reader #tsukishima x reader #bokuto x reader #kuroo x reader #akaashi x reader #nishinoya x reader #kita x reader #tendou x reader #haikyuu x reader #asahi x reader

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extant-exhaustion · 11 months ago

Note

Can I ask your top 10 fav fics ever (from any fandom, if you don't mind)?

Also, just curious, is there a story behind your name "extant-exhaustion "?

Well, first of all, thank you so much for your patience! I know it took me seven weeks to reply to this Ask! I agonized over my list (also, the holidays happened, which kept me busy). But I finally narrowed it down, so here we go, in no particular order:

My Top 10 Favorite Fanfics

died in my dreams by MTrash Haikyuu!! | T+ | 10k | Ushijima/Tendou | futuristic/cyberpunk AU, opposites attract, reluctant work partners to friends to lovers | fantastic characterization, really cool conceptually, a story about trauma and healing and finding your person

Come and get lost with us by boxofwonder Haikyuu!! | M | 150k | Hinata/Kageyama, Daichi/Sugawara | action/adventure, Medieval AU(?) | unlike anything I've ever read before or since; a really masterful integration of an enormous cast and a plot that unravels with absolutely zero fluff or filler

A Second Chance To Say by KazimaKuwabara/@kazimakuwabara Yu Yu Hakusho | M | 92k | Yusuke/Kuwabara, Youko Kurama/Kuronue | action/adventure, hurt/comfort | ft. Kuronue's eternal sass and unwavering friendship, the slow burn of reincarnated already-in-love KuwaMeshi (because Kuwabara doesn't remember it), somewhat menacing levels of intrigue, and Hiei finally winning MVP of emotions on Team Urameshi

Don't Blink or You'll Miss It (Lift Up Your Head) by umisabaku/@umisabaku Kuroko no Basuke | M | 81k | Kagami/Kuroko, Kasamatsu/Kise, Midorima/Takao, Himuro/Murasakibara, Aomine/Momoi | super powers | This story and its accompanying series are so cool and so unique. The characterization is amazing and the worldbuilding is stellar.

neither fish, flesh, nor foam by twoif interactive on Twine Kuroko no Basuke | Kagami/Kuroko | angst, Little Mermaid–esque, interactive storytelling | incredible, but also devastating; a story about how sometimes our doubts can destroy not only ourselves but the good things we build; one of the coolest things I've ever interacted with as a story, a true tour de force

Transient Shadow, True Light by seafoamist/@seafoamist Kuroko no Basuke | M | 322k, WIP | Kagami/Kuroko | angst, hurt/comfort, time travel, historical (Edo Period) | If you talk to me about this story, I will go absolutely feral, because it is my current obsession and the only WIP that is on this list. I'm straight-up insane about its quality and depth. I can't even put this story into words. It knocks the wind out of me.

And lastly, my URL doesn't actually have a story behind it! It's basically just my life, haha. “Extant” is an adjective meaning “ongoing/still in existence” and “exhaustion” is pretty obvious. Essentially, I like alliteration and thought it sounded better than "tired 100% of the time."

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cactus-stories · 3 months ago

Text

妖怪 - Satori Tendou x Fem!Reader

Angst and Fluff || Fem!Reader || Chapter 3: 2.1k words || Read it on AO3

Chapter 1: Posted here

Chapter 2: Posted here

You were almost at the door frame, when you heard a voice calling you from a few feet behind you.

»»————- ♡ ————-««

Turning around, you were surprised to see your red-headed classmate stand a few feet away, a small box in his hands, wrapped in red lace, making a cute little bow, and eyes focused on you. You cocked your head inquisitively, watching as he extended the box in your direction.

To an outsider, he probably looked pretty nonchalant about the whole thing, his face not giving away any clear expression, one hand in his pocket while the other held the box. But the area around his fingers was starting to crumple slightly, his knuckles white with how hard he was holding it. You couldn’t help but find it really cute.

Smiling shyly at him, you took a step closer, taking the box from him, watching as his posture relaxed, his hand coming back to rest next to his body and a quiet sight leaving his lips. He opened his mouth after a moment, words almost getting out, when you both heard a snicker coming from behind him.

“Aww, how cute! The Youkai has a crush!” the fakely sweet voice made your blood boil.

You noticed his hand trembling slightly, his face coming back to that blank expression and mouth closing again, staying silent as the sound of other people whispering around them became louder. You had no idea what to do, but you knew that, if you kept acting so shy, Tendou would get the wrong idea, and you didn’t want to hurt him.

Looking at his face again, he still had no discernible expression, but you could almost feel how hard it was for him to keep his composure. Mustering all of your courage, you took a deep breath, doing your best to ignore everyone around and do what you’ve wanted to do for a while now.

“Thank you, Tendou!” stepping forward, you hugged him tightly, resting your head on his chest and hearing his heartbeat fast in your ear. “I love it!”

He hesitantly wrapped his arms around you, relaxing into your touch, his features softening as he rested his head on top of yours, not entirely sure of what to do. You didn’t expect this to go as well as it did, but Tendou was surprisingly comfortable to hug, his warmth spreading to you and a soft smell of cocoa and cologne hitting your nose.

Hearing someone cleaning their throat, you separated in a rush, turning around to see your teacher watching the display of affection with a serious look on her face. Suddenly, the presence of your classmates around you was very noticeable, and you felt the heat rush to your cheeks.

You shot Tendou a quick smile and muttered a “talk to you later!”, getting inside the classroom and going to your seat in a hurry.

Neither of you dared to look at each other during class, him tracing his fingers slightly over the drawings on his desk, pretending to pay attention to the teacher, while you softly fidgeted with the ribbon, trying to contain a smile when you remembered the way he lit up after you guys hugged.

When lunch finally comes around, you find yourself unsure of what to do, slowly taking your lunch box out of your backpack and gathering your sketchbook and pencil case. You notice one of your sketches from yesterday still unfinished, grabbing a pencil and putting some details on the drawing of the volleyball team’s setter.

A knock on your desk makes you look forward, startled, seeing Tendou at the desk in front of you, sitting backwards on the chair with a smirk on his face.

“Semi-semi is gonna be honoured to know he’s your muse.” he gets up, unintentionally towering over you. “Wanna show it to him? I’m pretty sure he’s at the cafeteria right now.”

“W-What?!” you almost drop your pencil, looking at your sketch. “He’s not my muse, just… fun to draw…” it comes out as a mumble, face already heating up.

“Well, I think he’ll enjoy it either way, he’s already noticed you draw him anyways so-” the redhead shrugs, motioning with his head.

“He did?!” you get up, hugging your sketchbook, anxious. “I hope he doesn’t find it weird. I-I don’t draw only him though!”

Satori laughs, watching as you put away your sketchbook and lunchbox yet again, looking at him expectantly. You guys leave the classroom, various sets of eyes looking as you walk towards the cafeteria, unsure of what to do or what to say.

“So… you’ve been drawing on my desk, right?” he asks, leaving you speechless for a second. “Oh god, please tell me I’m not mistaken, that’d be so embarrassing!”

“No no, it was me, yeah!” you wave your hands in front of you, smiling lightly. “You seemed to like Shounen Jump, and your desk is always scribbled anyways, so it seemed like a nice idea.”

“Well, it was. A nice idea, that is.” Tendou smiled back. The both of you reached the team’s table at the cafeteria, receiving some curious glances. “Hey guys!”

“Hey, Tendou, mind introducing us to your friend?” the silver-haired setter asked, smiling at you. “I’m Semi Eita, nice to meet you.”

“That’s artist-chan! You know, the one who watches us play!” you waved at them, shyly. “She’s gonna sit with us today, scooch over, will ya, Ushi?”

The atmosphere was a bit weird, you didn’t know what exactly to do or who to talk to, but soon enough Semi started talking about a show he had watched the other day, and you listened curiously as the team debated whether it was worthy of watching or not. It was fun overall, and you even let out a few laughs here and there, a beaming Tendou next to you, chatting excitedly with his friends and occasionally checking on you to see if you were having fun.

Before you knew it, the bell rang and people started rushing back to class. You got up slowly, looking over at Tendou, who waited for you to finish cleaning up after yourself, and following him to your classroom. Before the both of you got in, the boy put a hand on your shoulder, averting his eyes.

“Hey, do you wanna walk to the dorms together later?” He looked nervous, but still tried to be confident. “I mean, you’re gonna watch us practice anyway, I might as well keep you company afterwards.”

“Sure!” you smiled, entering the classroom with him by your side. “I’ll meet you there.”

He smiled back at you and went to his seat. The boy seemed content with the situation, and not even the weird stares could taint his good mood, and you could hear him humming a tune until the teacher came in.

»»————- ♡ ————-««

Tendou was ecstatic, but also freaking out on the inside, and he could only hope you didn’t notice how nervous he felt. Classes passed in a second, and he found himself in the changing room of the gymnasium, teammates chatting excitedly about the pretty girl that had lunch with them earlier.

“I told you she was into you! Man, you’re a lucky guy, Tendou.” Semi patted him on the back, various approving nods from the rest of the group

following his words. “So, what do you plan on doing now? Any date ideas?”

“Leave it to me, Semi-Semi!” man, if feigning confidence was a sport, Tendou could be an olympic athlete. “I know just what to do!”

Practice was great, he was in a great mood the whole time, his blocks were on time, and he had a pretty girl watching him. Ushijima offered to do his part of the chores so he could leave earlier, and the redhead jumped at the opportunity, thanking his friend a million times before heading to the bleachers to meet his classmate.

“Drew any nice pictures of me?” the boy joked, looking at the sketchbook on the girl’s lap. “Ushiwaka looks really cool in that one!”

“I thought you guys cleaned the court after practice?” the girl questioned, closing the sketchbook and getting up, with a curious look.

“Yeah, but I got permission to leave early so I could take this pretty girl I saw on the bleachers to her dorm.” he smiled, watching as she averted her eyes, embarrassed. “Speaking of it, we should get going before it gets too dark.”

She nods, gathering her stuff and looking at him expectantly. They leave the gym, setting a slow pace after a few seconds of awkward silence, before Satori decides to strike a conversation.

“So, what made you start coming to volleyball practice in the first place? You don’t really strike me as the sporty type.”

“Oh, it’s kind of a funny story.” she smiled, fidgeting with the strap of her bag. “My best friend is on the volleyball team back in Johzenji, he begged me for weeks to come watch one of their practices, even bribed me saying he’d pay for me to get my tongue pierced with him if I did. So I went, and turns out volleyball players are great models for quick sketching.”

“Wait, what? You have a tongue piercing?” he looked at her, surprised. “That’s so cool, can I see?”

She stuck her tongue out, showing him the small piece of jewelry in the shape of a heart, before continuing. “Yeah, we got matching ones, but he changed his to a simpler one after one of the guys started calling him ‘Loverboy’. I thought it was silly, but it’s okay, it’s the thought that counts.”

Satori laughed, watching as the girl stopped on her tracks, seemingly noticing something on the corner of her eye, turning her head towards the vending machine near the path they were taking.

“You wanna stop and grab a snack?” Satori asked, receiving an enthusiastic nod from the girl, before she grabbed his hand and started leading him to the machine.

“I saw they got the new greet tea kit kats, I really wanna try them!” she smiled, seemingly unaware of the boy next to her tensing up.

It wasn’t more than ten seconds, but the redhead felt his heart skip a beat, the warmth in his hand clinging even after the girl had let go, making him blush and avert his eyes, until he noticed her calling him.

“Which one do you want?” she tilted her head slightly. “The passion fruit ones are great too, and they seem like they’d be your style.”

“W-Well if you say so, I’ll have to try them. You want the green tea ones, right? My treat!” Before the girl could protest, he was already pushing a few notes on the slot, pressing a few buttons.

“Hey! You already got me chocolates today!” She took the chocolate from him. “How am I gonna show my gratitude now?”

“You can pay me back by holding my hand again while we walk to the dorms, I’d say that’s a fair trade.” Where did that come from? The boy was already regretting his words, startling as the girl held his hand, smiling at him.

“Well that’s pretty easy to do..” the warmth came back with full force, his face definitely beet red by now. “By the way, those were the best chocolates I’ve ever had! Where did you get them?”

“O-Oh, I… made them myself. It’s a-a hobby of mine…” he stuttered, still focused on how their hands fit nicely together.

“You did?!” she turned to him, chocolate in hand. “Tendou, that’s amazing! You’re really really talented!”

Before they realized, the two teenagers were in front of the girls’ dorm. The girl looked back at the building, sighing, before turning back to the redhead, a small smile on her face, hand still comfortably intertwined with his.

“Today was really nice, Tendou. Thank you, for the chocolates and for the company.”

“I should be the one thanking you, for everything, really.” he let her hand go, nodding his head towards the building. “Goodnight, artist-chan. See you tomorrow?” the redhead did his best not to sound too hopeful, his insecurities still keeping him from asking for more attention from the girl.

“See ya!” Getting on her tiptoes, the girl gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, before turning around and getting inside the building, keychains jingling with each step.

He put a hand to his cheek, savouring the moment, the image of the girl burned into his mind, and a stupid smile on his face. And, for the first time in a long time, his walk back to the dorms felt like walking on air.

@zbops @megumuro @adnamaya

(I tried to tag everyone who interacted with it back in the day, hope it's okay with you guys!! I AM SO SORRY IT HAS BEEN 3 YEARS LMAOOOO)

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jamespottersdaisy · 2 years ago

Text

It's blue, the feeling I've got

Remus Lupin x fem!reader

Is it really worth it to run from the hurt if running hurts you all the same?

thank you @tendous-pretty-hair for the prompt!

author's note- kinda like grumps x sunshine except remus is the sunshine here, trust issues?

You grimace at the filthiness on the floor, your eyes scanning for the target.

Your quill.

You are not in a comfortable position, your torso stooping while you support yourself with a tight grip on the desk. One more inch forward, and you are certain you will fall, and yet the quill is nowhere to be found.

It’s not hard to feel the annoyance building up. It’s merely a feather, for God’s sake, how far can you possibly drop it? But again, it is a feather; what keeps it from floating out of the window?

You hear your name and straighten yourself. You can feel the blood circulation visiting your fingertips from the change of positions.

You turn your head and stare at Remus with a frown, who, in turn, has a tiny smile on his face. His smile wouldn’t be noticeable if you weren’t used to heeding every detail about him.

“Here,” he says and stretches out his hand to you with a quill in it. It’s not yours, but it will suffice.

Your countenance doesn’t soften even though your heart flutters at his widening smile. You should offer him a smile or at least relax your brows or something to let him know your gratitude.

But you just mumble a quick thanks before turning.

He doesn’t seem to mind. He never seems to mind your rudeness somehow.

“Don’t look at me like you want to commit a murder,” he says, his eyes not leaving the paper before you. Your paper. Your ripped paper.

“I’m thinking about it,” you scowl.

“I’ll fix it, don't worry,” Remus smiles. You wouldn’t mind a ripped parchment if you hadn’t already written three thousand words on it.

“Not like you have any other options.”

He finally looks at you, and you expect a bitter expression at your words. But his eyes are still tender, and his smile still bright.

“I’ll even bring you pudding afterwards as an apology.”

Sometimes you would come across as rude, not because you intended to, but because your lips work faster than your mind.

“Remus made your cake!” Lily says and looks at you with emerald eyes filled with joy. She looks beautiful in her green dress that you’re sure she bought specifically for your surprise birthday party.

“Why?” you ask because you don’t understand why he would bother when he could’ve just bought it.

Everyone looks at you like you just screamed in a library. You should’ve probably said thanks instead of blurting the first thing that crossed your mind. Remus doesn’t seem to care, though.

“Because it is your birthday,” he says and pushes you by the shoulders to sit on the sofa. He takes the cake and kneels before you. “Make a wish.”

You look at his eyes, and his hair and his lips. You notice how they look…a bit too perfect. You realise it’s been more than a few seconds, and no one makes a wish this long.

You blow out the candles.

Other times, it would be because you don’t know what to do exactly.

You raise your head when a sandwich enters your eyesight.

“You haven’t eaten today,” Remus says and sits beside you. You watch him open his book and shuffle through the pages.

“How did you know?”

“We’ve been studying since morning,” he raises an eyebrow at you. “It’s nighttime.”

You hum and say nothing more. You didn’t know he was paying attention to that detail.

You open the sandwich and take a bite, satisfying your hunger. You want to thank him and talk to him, engage in some friendly conversation. But your mouth is full, and you don’t know what to talk about. You don’t want to speak while chewing, and you don’t know how other people manage to talk with someone so easily.

You feel bad that you never treat him with the same kindness he has for you.

By the time you grasp an opportunity to open your mouth, he’s already asking about your favourite drink.

That’s why you have a strange infatuation with Remus. Not like the way you care for James or Lily. It’s a bit different.

You never catch yourself staring at James’s lips when he’s talking. You never want to play with Lily’s hair. And you surely never think about your other friends before bed.

Anyhow, you’re too busy to dwell on those feelings or act on them.

At the end of the class, you want to return Remus his quill. You walk up to him, and he sends his friends away. You offer him the quill ashe smiles.

“Keep it,” he says and starts walking with you.

You think so hard about what to ask him, how to hear his voice, how to make him smile at you. Maybe you should ask him what he thinks of cats. But what if he doesn’t like cats? You should go a bit simpler, then. However, before you decide to ask him about his day, he’s already voicing some words.

“What?”

"I said you seem tired," he speaks softly, glancing at you while letting you leave the class first.

You are tired. You were up all night, studying.

"I didn't sleep well," you shrug. "Homework."

"Did you finish it?"

You nod with an accompanied 'uh-huh'.

"Would you mind helping me?"

You are sure he is already done with his homework.

"Didn't you, like, finish it two days ago?"

"I did mine, yes. But," he inhales deeply, and you know he's about to ask a favour from his stiffened shoulders. "You know how I help other students in the library sometimes?"

Oh, no.

"Yes?" you crunch your brows.

"I was hoping you could help me out a bit today."

"Why?"

"Because I need your help."

"That's what I'm asking. Why?"

He stares at you before you two start climbing the stairs. You'll later realise that wasn't the best thing to ask at that moment and scold yourself for it.

"I'm having a hard time handling all of them by myself."

"You can always just stop holding study sessions," you point out. "But I'll help you."

He smiles. "Thank you–"

"Only for today."

Remus nods several times, his hair tousling. "Only for today."

You don’t enjoy the company of too many people, mainly because of your awkwardness. Albeit you love helping people, you’d rather do it not in front of dozens.

Only for today.

Besides, you love spending time with Remus.

“How about Mistletoe Berry?”

“Yeah, you should use it–”

“Why not Silverweed?”

“It doesn’t mix well with the berry,” you say, trying to help all five of the students at once. Somehow, your regard for the teachers is changing a bit because of all this.

“Can you check my essay?” a boy asks, and you nod.

The moment you take the parchment in your hand, a girl decides to challenge you with some complicated questions that you won’t be able to reply to without focusing on her.

“Just a moment–”

“Yeah, sure, can you check my essay too afterwards?”

Why the hell does Remus do this?

He doesn’t even get paid for this headache.

You glance at him, seeing that he’s doing much better than you are. At least he has a smile on his face indicating that he actually enjoys holding these study sessions.

You take in his unfairly beautiful looks, trying your best not to get lost in his smile. You fail when he looks at you.

He laughs at your frown, mouthing something that you don't quite catch. You frown a bit more, and he moves his lips again. In the end, you give up and roll your eyes before averting them back to the parchment.

You don't see his smile lingering on your frame.

Remus doesn't notice that he's staring. You don't notice, either. The students do, though.

They see how his eyes soften when they are on you, just like your frown melts into a somewhat smile when you talk to him. They see how he's much more patient with you and how less grumpy you are with him.

"I don't think she enjoys being here," a boy with raven hair and tanned skin speaks to Remus, pulling him back into the moment.

Remus shakes his head, his lips still curled up. He lowers his head to the books before him.

"She just doesn't like people, Charlie," he says, eyes scanning the essays and looking for any mistakes.

Charlie doesn’t seem convinced.

"She likes you, doesn't she?"

"Well,” Remus hesitates for a moment. He thinks of the right thing to say, “That's different."

It is different, and Remus knows this too well. It would be an insult to his intelligence to think that he has never noticed small things.

You dither what to say to him, take your time with your words, and your faltering smile blooms flowers in his heart. Remus is smart enough to take heed of your soft demeanour when he is near. You don’t sulk when he walks with you around the castle, and you don’t frown when he is making lame jokes.

Sometimes he would even notice you staring at him adorningly when you think he is not aware. The way your eyes caress every blemish on his face would make him want to crash his lips onto yours to quench the fire in his core. But he would withhold.

Seeing a reserved one like you crack a smile, sing a laugh, and gift a loving glance just for him could not not do things to him. How could your soft spot for Remus in your heart not emerge gardens for you in his soul?

It was impossible. However, he would never act on any feeling that stormed in him. Not because he was too proud but because he wanted you to acknowledge them first. He wanted you to drop your high walls a bit, open up to him and show him that you are indeed willing to embrace your emotions.

He never pushes you, but sometimes he would wish that he did. Moments like this, knowing that you could do something you are not entirely comfortable with just on his request, would urge him to voice words that he knows for a fact would scare you off.

So he keeps silent for now.

“How is it going?” he asks, walking up to you. He has never seen you this uncomfortable in an environment before. Dozens of students nagging and shoving papers on the table, carelessly shuffling everything.

You immediately look up to him and push some parchments to his chest.

“Great,” you say, “Do me a favour and read these, yeah? I am a bit busy with…”

You stare at the five essays before you and sigh. “...these.”

Soft tunes of Remus’s chuckle greet your soul, and while you are more than happy to listen to it forever, you arch a brow at him.

“In my defence, you look funny,” he holds his hands in the air.

“You don’t get to laugh at me after putting me into this position,” you mutter, albeit your lips fracture into a subtle smile.

“I didn’t force you, did I? You agreed to help,” Remus starts tidying the table for you.

“Damn my helpful nature then.”

“Hang on, it’s almost nine,” he glances at the clock in the library. “You’ll be free to go in five.”

“Who’s gonna clean the whole mess?”

“I am,” he sits next to you and points out the mistakes of the essay to its writers.

You look at him for a moment before focusing back on the ink on the paper. You have no intention of leaving him alone to clean after those guys without you, but you don’t say that to him. Mainly because you don’t see any need to. But also because you don’t want others to think that something is…different with Remus.

It is none of their business, after all. At least, that’s what you always tell yourself.

Not that you are too scared to let your feelings surface, you despise being vulnerable, or you lock up your weaknesses because you are afraid of being hurt. It’s just not their business.

That’s why you try to suffice with the glances, jokes, and smiles when it comes to Remus. That’s why you never entertain the thought of his arms around your waist or your head against his shoulder or even his lips against yours. You never think about if they would feel soft or chapped when he kisses you, if he would place his hands on your hips or your cheek, if he would crash into you before pushing you against a wall or be gentle by caressing your face and slowly leaning in. You never think about if his kiss would lead to something more as he sinks lower to your neck–

“Stop staring into space and read it,” Remus calls without looking at you.

“I was reading it,” you scowl, feeling a fire in your core. You don’t look at him; you are sure it won’t help with the fire. His chestnut hair and shaped jawline have never helped with anything except fueling the yearning for him in you.

Remus simply mouths a satirical hum.

After long minutes of tortuous readings, students were thanking you as they got ready to leave. You simply put on a smile– which Remus was sure of being forced– and said that ‘it was totally okay’.

“Was it?” he whispers to you, lowering his head to match your ear. You move your head to look him in the eye, only to almost bump into his nose. You take a step back.

“Was it what?”

“Totally okay?” he grins, and you are not sure if it is because of your reluctance to be so close to him.

“It was indeed,” you turn your back to him and start tidying the place.

“You don’t have to–”

“I want to,” you cut him off, knowing what he’s gonna say. You don’t have to help him clean. You just want to be near him…for some reason.

“On your charitable day, eh?”

“That makes you a charity case.”

He laughs before you can overthink your words. You don’t feel a smile creeping up on your lips, but Remus feels his heart warm up at the sight.

He places himself next to you, hands stretching out to grab the useless papers. Your arms are crashing, but you don’t complain like you would if it was someone else.

“Thank you,” he says, and you look at him. Your smile widens, and Remus can swear he saw your eyes twinkling.

“Anytime,” you nod but shake your head right after. “Not anytime. It was tiring. But whenever it’s a life or death situation.”

“If I didn’t know you, I would say you’re a bad person.”

“Good thing you know me, then.”

Remus forces himself to focus on the task at hand. That’s what happens when you offer him a tiny smile or a joyful laugh. It’s distracting. It makes him want to do and say bold things that he knows are not the right time.

Still, he manages to keep his attention on the litter and not your velvety smile.

You are running with a deep frown on your face, your eyes looking for the best spot to shield yourself from the roaring gas back in the classroom. İt is as ugly looking as it smells disgusting.

And you know damn well who is responsible for that spectacle.

It’s not like you could somehow protect yourself from the side effects of their pranks. No matter how close of a friend you are to the Marauders, you are never immune to their misbehaving.

Thus, there you are, sprinting out of the room with the hopes of escaping the wrath of…

You didn’t know what it was, to be exact, but it surely made you gag.

Your eyes are scanning the surroundings, estimating the best route of escape for you, when you feel yanked by your arm.

Before you know it, you are in a room filled with barrels, brooms and weird-looking skulls on the shelves.

“What the–”

“Hi.”

Your frown deepens, and you are sure you will have wrinkles around your forehead when you are old.

“Remus?”

He smiles sheepishly. “How you doing?”

“What are you doing?”

“Saving your ass from stinking,” he shrugs as you take in the room. It smells of wood, and the dust makes you sneeze. “Bless you.”

“Why are you here?” you ask, sniffling.

“To save your ass from stinking,” he repeats, and you ogle at him.

“Attaboy then,” you murmur, walking around the Artefact Room.

You don’t see it, but Remus’s eyes travel in the room with you. They take in your every movement, especially when you raise your hand to touch the skulls.

"Aren't they dirty?" he asks, and you pull your hand away.

"You are the one who chose this room."

"Weird way to say thanks, but you're welcome," he steps forward a bit awkwardly.

You roll your eyes at him and realise that you don't beat yourself up for your inept interactions with him anymore. They feel natural, enjoyable even. The feeling almost makes you smile.

"Thanks," you say to him, knowing that you are thanking him for an entirely different reason than he thinks.

He waves his hand and turns away. He points to a blackboard, dirty with dust, fading away.

"Did you know you can draw anything in your mind by touching this board?"

"I can?" you step up, eyes on Remus.

"No, of course not," he laughs, "It's just a blackboard."

You stop in your tracks and give him a look that makes him chuckle.

"Sorry," he smiles, "Just wanted to hear your voice. Not my fault that you don't talk much."

Your heart takes a leap at his words, your mind suggesting too many claims that you can not keep up. You don't stay stuck with them, not right now. You let his words lead you on.

"You're the only person I talk to too much," you say, and Remus takes another step towards you.

"That's a confession," he raises his eyebrows.

His heart is hammering in his chest, but he's too focused on your lips to mind it. He's been waiting for this. For a moment that you would let him see a glimpse of the person behind the frown.

"I can confess much more," you murmur mindlessly, regretting it on the spot.

You shouldn't have said that. It's more than what you've allowed yourself. It's a crack in your walls.

You're hoping that he's going to smile and nod and move on. You're hoping so hard that he's not going to dwell on it.

"Like what?"

Of course, he is going to dwell on it. He's going to dig and make sure to leave no brick on your walls.

You won't let him, though. You can't.

You gaze at his brown eyes, taking in the intense hope and desire. You can't let those orbs bury you, it's too early to give in to their affection. You're struggling to get to the surface, saving yourself from his infatuating arms.

"Like how I can fall asleep anywhere," you blurt out the first thing that comes to mind, wishing for it to be enough to move the topic.

Remus shakes his head, and the next thing you know, his hands are on your wrists, his face close to yours. You refuse to raise your head and look him in the eye, insisting on staring at his shoulders.

"Don't do that," he whispers.

He can feel the nerves in every inch of his skin stretch out, urging him to act recklessly. He has already seen the glimpse of light between the crack of your walls; there's no turning back for him. He wants your light to ignite his soul, and he's ready to fight for it.

"What?" you ask, this time resting your eyes on his. They are darker, or maybe you're just confused because of the suffocating distance.

"Don't close yourself off," his one hand slowly glides up across your skin, taking your chin between his thumb and forefinger. "It's not fair."

Your heart is in your stomach, storms raging in your core, ready to rain with his one movement.

You are fighting with your shadow, struggling to grant the boy the well-deserved light.

"Remus, what–"

"It's not fair, dove. Stop torturing us," he cuts you off, and you hold your breath when he leans in.

His actions are painfully slow as if he's testing your limits. By the time you can feel his hot breath on your lips, your whole body is screaming his name, ready to melt under his touch.

It's what you've always wanted; you know that. To know how his lips would feel, where his hands would rest, and what he would whisper to you before taking your breath away.

The answer to all your questions lies only an inch away, and your skin is aflame with expectations.

You close your eyes when he brushes his lips against yours, breaths mingling, hands intertwining, and bodies begging to be held.

Just a second more and you'll finally rest;just a moment more and your walls will crumble, and just an inch more and his rain will take care of your garden.

"I won’t kiss you until you let me in," he whispers, and you frown.

Before you can register his words in your mind, the door of the room is being put to the test. Remus takes a few large steps back, his darkened eyes still gazing into yours.

The next thing you hear is James begging Remus to teach him the spell that will 'get rid of the stench'.

The next few days were nothing but a headache for you. The biggest battle you’ve ever fought has been torturing your mind, your heart and head clashing brutally.

Your heart is begging you to smile at the love that’s waiting for you, rooting for you, ready to embrace you. Your mind is reminding you of each and every bitter memory that made you who you are right now, that built up your walls and cast a shadow on your smile.

It’s not an easy fight, especially when you're fighting it alone. Silent and peaceful nights are the worst. Your mind replaying the memory like a film to remind you what you’re losing, but also lurking behind to whisper all of your dreadful doubts to your ear.

You will get hurt again. You know you will. That’s what it is to trust someone, to love someone, to let yourself be vulnerable before them. You can’t love Remus without accepting the risk of getting hurt. You know it all too well.

You just can’t accept the risk.

You are not ready for your heart to shatter again, for your tears to cry a river, and for your soul to suffer through many times. It's not fair. It’s not fair that you can’t be happy without being hurt.

You are too tired of being hurt.

The strength in you can not handle another knife in the heart.

It’s not fair.

That was what Remus said.

You groan and push your head to your hands.

It is not fair to offer him a smile when you know you want to hide behind a frown. It’s not fair to let him brush his lips against yours when you know you want to put distance between your bodies. It is not fair to find his frame in every room when you know you should let him down slowly instead of letting your eyes feast on his smile.

You can’t seem to let him go, and it’s frustrating.

He is looking into your eyes from across the room, and you are sure somewhere in your heart, there is a sting that bleeds.

“What happened?” Lily asks, and you know she can feel the ice between Remus and you.

“Nothing,” you say.

That’s what you always say. Never letting yourself find comfort in others, never letting them see the pain surging in you. Lily knows better than that.

“Do you need me to pester you, or are you going to talk?”

You’re not going to go talk, and she’s going to pester you. She is asking questions until she has all the facts. She is making you talk about every little feeling you have regarding every little thing Remus said. By the time she's done, you feel like you’ve crumbled under the weight of an elephant.

“And how long do you think you can keep yourself safe like this?” she asks. “You’re going to refuse to trust anyone till what? End of your life?”

You shrug, and she frowns.

“I’m not gonna tell you what to do,” she stands up, and you remember she has to meet with James. “But is it really worth it to run from hurt if running hurts you all the same?”

“Have fun," you murmur before she leaves.

That's what echoes in your mind for days.

‘Is it really worth it to run from hurt if running hurts you all the same?’

At first, you allow yourself longing glances. You don’t break eye contact when he looks over at you across the room.

Then you slowly offer him a faint smile. You don’t see it, but your eyes light up with your smile. Much to your happiness, he always returns it with a bigger smile.

With time, you two start talking again. He’s the same person he was weeks ago, you are the one that’s trying to make a change.

You talk about what makes you happy to him and notice that the next day he has your favourite sweet in his hand.

“You didn’t have to,” you say instead of asking the reason for the gesture.

“I didn’t intend to,” he chuckles, handing you the sweet you’ve been staring at since it came into view. “But then I remembered that you’ve mentioned liking those.”

“Strong memory.”

“For you.”

You confide in him about how your day went bad, and he listens for almost an hour.

“You sure there’s nothing I can do?” he asks when you stop talking.

“Absolutely nothing,” you smile, feeling the burden in your heart vanish.

“I can always put some dog fur on his coat,” Remus offers, his eyes indicating no humour. “I hear he’s allergic.”

You laugh this time, and his shoulders relax.

“Where are you going to find the dog fur?”

“I have my ways.”

You even let him hold you sometimes.

“What did you get?” you wonder, eyes filled with genuine curiosity.

“What do you think?” Remus says, and you falter for a moment. He’s been going on and on about this exam for a long time. Surely he would at least have a grin on his face if it went good, no? But would he be this relaxed if it went bad?

You stare at him a bit long, mouth opening and closing.

He chortles at your expressions. “Outstanding!”

You hit him in the arm. “Congratulations, jerk–” and he’s already hugging you.

You are still frowning and scowling when someone trips on your foot. You still hate Remus’s study sessions in the library, and you still never let James mess with you.

But you have allowed yourself to open up to Remus, and you know you can do more.

You have been waiting for the right moment to do it.

You are pacing around the lake. It’s peacefully quiet, and usually, you would appreciate it. Not at this moment, though. Your heartbeats are rapid, your hands a bit sweaty. You rub them together.

“Do you think we should start with Transfiguration today?” Remus’s voice calls and, you quickly turn around. You scold yourself internally for not noticing that he was approaching.

“Sure,” you say and sit beside him.

“You alright?” he narrows his eyes, “You look pale.”

“All good.”

He nods and starts talking about some stuff that you don’t listen to. Your eyes running around just like your attention. Sometimes they place on Remus’s hands, making you ache for his touch again. The moment is so tense for you that you overthink about his thumb and forefinger that held your chin.

They focus on his neck, too. You are a bit angry at yourself for wanting to put your lips on it. But nothing tops the irritation building up in you when you glance at his hair. You shouldn’t want to run your hands through it, at least not now. You definitely shouldn’t peek at his red lips that urge you to make a mistake.

“Okay, you are not listening,” he snaps the book closed. “What is wro–”

“I want to kiss you, but I don’t know how,” you say, holding no punches.

His eyes widen a bit, and his lips part in the look for the right words. He stares into your eyes, making you regret everything and want to get the hell out of there.

“How about just lean in and–”

“No, you were studying, it would be awkward,” you cut him off, feeling a different type of warmth emerge, sweating your palms.

“I’m not studying now, am I?” he arches a brow, and your breath hitches.

You stay still, taking in everything that’s happening. That’s your cue, it seems. You should take it, you shouldn’t waste it or mess this up–

You swiftly lean in and kiss his lips.

It’s a quick kiss, one that doesn’t give you a chance to put your hands around him or feel his hold around your body.

Remus doesn't even have time to react or kiss you back.

When you pull away, you glance at his face, which is pretty smug. You furrow your brows at him, feeling annoyance paint your expressions.

“Took you long enough,” he chuckles and places himself closer to you. “Let me.”

You are still frowning when he holds your waist and leans in. You are looking at his eyes with a scowl that makes him imitate you. He mirrors your expression mockingly for a moment before smiling against your lips.

When he kisses you, your face softens, and your eyes close. You feel the cool breeze around your heart that lets you know you made the right choice. Your soul finds peace in that moment, just like your mind that goes quiet for the first time in a long time.

He deepens the kiss, and you bring your hand to his hair. You can feel the movements getting heated from his tightened grip on your waist and the heavy sigh that comes from you. Just when you bring your hand to stroke his neck, he pulls away, looking at you breathlessly.

“Just for clarification, this means you like me, right?”

You roll your eyes as you crash your lips into his, but not before muttering a low ‘yes’.

i don't really know how i feel about this but again i say this about almost everything i write so please let me know what you think <33

thanks for reading!

and if you liked it, buy me a coffee<33

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