#tell people you're proud of them
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iwanttobepersephone · 1 year ago
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Ok but that scene in Burning Bridge where Gilan is talking about his dad?? I'm gonna cry that's so sweet. He's so proud of his dad. I'd be proud of my dad too. I'm melting we need more people who are proud of their dads
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dragonling348 · 1 month ago
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Okay. I hear your Lore/Sela arguments. I'm nodding along. I raise you... Lore/Q
Just... IMAGINE
The CHAOS
ANYWAY I spent all night drawing them
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spookythesillyfella · 5 months ago
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"You're not ashamed of only doing unnecessary things – far from it, you're proud of it ; you must be feeling GREAT!"
★ alt verzionz under cut :
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★ song : "Eh? You're serious? Wait!" – Dobu no Awa
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okitanoniisan · 4 months ago
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no one can reach my level of petty hating about the stupid english title
#ada speaks#after scott made that thread about how the legitimately valid complaints about infinite wealth's loc didn't matter because of sales#i was like. god damn dude. like what a. horrible reality. so i'm voting with my money. i guess.#not that theres ANY FUCKING WAY to make these things known when there's nuance to it that Sales Numbers obviously can't convey#im just another +1 to the jp sales number and i'm fairly sure they count everything as Worldwide due to eng being included in all regions#but !! at least i dont have fucking. pirate yakuza or whatever the hell that english title is sitting on my shelf#and the other really fun thing is that availability of the game in canada is total ass and exclusive to some random online retailer#i cant preorder from....... fucking gamestop?? ok i guess it's amazon jp time. since this is. somehow easier.#anyway. hey sega. can we fucking talk about your english loc team and crunch and simulreleases.#can we maybe like. release a Good product and not a product that Sells.#these games are going to sell regardless because. the GAMES are good#people are going to buy them for The Core Game. and they are going to Put Up With the shitty localization.#im just. man. remember when SoA used to be proud of what they put out there. what a crazy concept.#if you're pointing to sales numbers to Own The Haters idk what to tell you. i think the haters might have a point. just this time.#you can't genuinely defend how undercooked and sloppy it is by explaining specific choices made or being informative#like so many times in the past#so its just.#lol suck it the games still sell#like yeah no shit. obviously??????????? but why in gods name should we have to Settle for a lesser experience#just because corporate wants a Finished product and not a Good one#frustrating <3#god forbid art be anything but a consumable slop product with a Serviceable translation#to me this is one step removed from shipping it without any translation and being like lol just use google translate bro#and when everyone is like ????? what the fuck???? its like well it still sells. so clearly this is what the people want.#boooooooooo
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gu6chan · 27 days ago
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oh yeah!!!! forgot to mention this is my last day at work :') honestly the pay wasn't the greatest (not complaing though, this is a public position and it was certainly enough to get by) but ngl this was probably one of the most enjoyable jobs ive had 😭❤️ for a ridiculously conservative population like this im glad they seemed to enjoy the numerous marxist solutions to all their problems getting slid in under the reasoning of "community/small town values" and "neighbours having each other's back" and 5 minute small talk about how taxes work at the line in the grocery store lmao
#gu6chan's musings#microdosing american presidential life by going into local politics; completely uprooting everything set in place by the last guy and then#fucking off to work in a resort town as a grocer for the rest of my days (2 years)#i get why they do this all the time now ngl#its really amazing though how much you can get through to people just by explaining to them how things work like it's some kind of#insider secret or forbidden knowledge though. like being in a position of the government they're already VERY distrusting of is one thing#but rlly as long as you're friendly; casual and start off conversations with 'Not a lot of people know this/This isn't ever something they#talk about but' and launch into the most basic explanation of anything they'll treat your brave defiance against the system (explaining how#taxes they think are communist money laudering schemes are used to pay for the benefits of capitalism (community projects) they want)#like the gospel of christ#very proud to have wokeified my village to this degree; especially given the irony i was largely only given this position through a mix of#being the 'right' kind of foreigner (chad aryan german woman whose quiet and polite 😍) and outright nepotism on my father's end of the#family bc i kid you not; i am NOT that familiar with his side of the family but they take up like half the space in northern michigan and#especially this town for whatever reason? it's insane bc like almost in every sector there's one of us 😭#but yeah it's all to say I'm at like 80% convinced that when it came to the local elections it rlly was just whatever name they recognised#first and wouldn't you know!!! but i like to think at least a little of it was bc i knew the people pretty well and was nice......... 🥺#and also bc the other family who practically owns the town bc they own 50% of the businesses around here and their name is plastered on#EVERYTHING (they're a heating and plumbing company; they're a hardware store; they're realtors; they're grocers....) also have been in#politics for quite some time and there's been so many scandals (Just to name the biggest current one this year; the mayor got arrested for a#REALLY bloody car accident he caused while driving drunk lmao but shhhh i didn't tell you that :3<) that they were willing to go with#literally any other option. and then they voted the same people in again. (but also meeeeeee :3)
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Spoiler: I didn't go to sleep. But I will shortly after this post
#i'm sleepy. i'm dramatic. i'm silly. i'm affectionate; maybe#I know two people will see this. maybe? One of them is Moon. Dani is the other. again. maybe#i'm just gonna#AHEMS. words for both of these people; starting with Dani#first off. Damn I didn't think I'd ever read you calling me bestie. buut once I did I must admit the widest smile showed up in my face#I consider you a best friend as well; but from how cool you are? I never thought you'd look at me and go “yeah. thas my bestie”#second off. just like Moon; I saw (and still do) you as one of my biggest inspirations. The Lav blog and your silly characters made me want#-to get to know the entire server as a whole. so yea you're part of the reason I even started my drawing blog!#and now. my Wife. Moon. Ducky. Moondydusky (/silly)#grabby hands 💥 I wanna tell you just how much I love you all over again everyday. Not sure if you'd ever get tired of It but I just wanna#you're such an important person to me. Everyday I miss talking to you and giggle if I do talk to you#really. makes me just want to have you besides me I wanna just hug you before going to sleep I wanna kiss that pretty face of yours 😭💥💥#grfggarfwgshg#wif#:AAA:#anyway I love you so much and I'm still amazed how I went from “this person is SO cool” to “i'm proud to announce this is my wife!”#aaaand the SECRET THIRD OPTION.... Points at the bee#ASH if you're here I want you to know you're an AMAZING friend and you're so supportive and so cool and I wanna be you when I grow up /sill#you're literally just a little sibling to me /silly /pos#anyWay going to sleep fr now HEHAJHD goodnight everybody!!#(to any other mutuals. if I follow you and you follow me 👁️👁️ YOU ARE SO SO AMAZING AND COOL AND I'M SO GLAD WE'RE MOOTS RAHHHH)#I think I ranted too much. erm. yeah goodnight before I edit this post again
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blackholesandlions · 6 months ago
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worst kind of music content on the internet are those breakdowns of a song from a video game or tv show or some other "silly" medium where the thumbnail is that terrible clickbait "HOW IS IT THIS GOOD" or "THEY DIDN'T NEED TO GO THIS HARD" because like. i'm sure this is hard to believe to youtubers who would upload eight minutes of static noise if it got them to a midroll ad, but some people actually care about the things they make. if you openly admit to being confused by the concept of putting in more than minimal effort then why would anybody want to watch your videos
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novelconcepts · 1 year ago
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i don't make resolutions, but if i did
it would be to finish this fic
(and to be kind to myself for however long it takes to actually do so)
#i'm finishing it if it kills me#i know i've been writing this makeout scene for 3 weeks but baby that can't last forever#if we want to get deep and dark and serious for a second i do think a lot of my struggles to write lately have to do with engagement#and how incredibly low engagement has been on the last few things i've written#which like. is what it is. i'm not entitled to anybody's time or comments or kudos.#but when you write stuff you're proud of and it feels like it's barely getting read it's hard to keep momentum.#this isn't intended as a woe is me or whatever it's just kind of like. there. hovering.#happens enough times you start to wonder if it's you. am i just writing for the wrong fandom/ship?#(too bad if so. they're in my bones i'm writing for them and no one can stop me.)#but yeah. if you ever wonder if authors do care or notice about hits. comments. kudos. buddy i am here to tell you#not only do we care and FLOURISH we also notice when those things drop off and readers vanish#and it is a giant bummer. and sometimes makes us wildly paranoid about why that might have happened.#so if you liked a fic today--not even one of mine. just. anybody's. share it. comment on it.#kudos at the VERY least (cuz frankly kudos is there to be an 'i got to the end and this was nice' feature.#so when you get 500 hits and only like 30 kudos? it feels like 470 of those people hated your work)#anyway. that got out of hand. lil' too raw lil' too honest. happens when you let yourself ramble at 11:30 instead of sleeping#to sum: let your local fic writer know if they've made you happy#and as we go into 2024 i am swearing to myself that this fic (and probably several others) are getting finished#come hell. high water. or dishearteningly low engagement numbers.#(and then maybe we...actually work on something original. cuz why not. new year same old me but i'll do my best.)
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theinfinitedivides · 2 years ago
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identity theft being pushed by a practicing lawyer we're seeing the vision
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sylkweaver · 2 years ago
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A heads up for the upcoming being a little sad and personal, but... this post made me think about something that happened to me.
The thing that made me and my mom stop talking was... well, it was a lot of things. But it basically boiled down to one big argument. The argument was about a lot of things, mainly me being trans and what I planned to do with my life.
I had just gone through hell and majorly changed up my life. I had just become stable and gotten a new job again. I was seeing a therapist for the first time and feeling like it was really helping. I was doing everything I could to improve myself and... make somebody proud.
But it was never enough for her. Despite all the things I had to tell her, the changes I had made, she wanted to focus on what I hadn't done. On the things that she was disappointed in me for and that she disapproved of (one of them being me starting hormones secretly while under my grandparents roof [nevermind that it was literally saving my life and also curing my depression]). She wanted to focus on what I wanted in life and how I was going to eventually become independent again.
The end of our conversation came to a head when I was full on crying, admitting to her and to myself for the first time what I wanted in life. That I wanted her to tell me that she was proud of how good I was doing. For once in my life, I just wanted her to tell me that she was proud of me. I was sitting in my room full on sobbing that I had done so much and I just wanted her to say that she was proud of my progress and that I was doing well.
She outright refused me. She told me "I can't." She left me there after that, crying alone and confused about why she couldn't do something so simple.
It destroyed me. That was the last time I talked to her for two years. I had full on panic attacks when I heard my grandparents (whom I was staying with at the time) talking to her on the phone in another room. I was, still am, terrified of her.
But I didn't want to just talk about that.
It was sometime two years after that I realized just how much damage she'd done to me. I forget what I was doing at this point. I think maybe I was talking to a friend about something? I think maybe it might have had to do with my writing, but who's to say. I was telling this person about something I had done and I was happy with it.
She said "I'm really proud of you" and I froze in place. Instant tears. Like, full on sobbing, heavy stream of tears. Nothing before had ever brought me to tears so quickly. I could feel those words piercing straight through my soul because it was all I wanted to hear for so long. I had long since giving up on hearing it from anyone and I didn't realize just how sad that was until that moment. Those words broke me and rebuilt me. I didn't realize how powerful five words could be until those five words reached into my soul and freed me from the years of trauma I had weighing upon me. I didn't realize until then just how much she had broken me.
My mom will never be proud of me. She still hasn't said it. We've talked a few times since, once in person, and she still didn't say it then. I know she won't. I don't talk to her anymore. If she called me, I know I'd be anxious and terrified, so I'm glad she doesn't care enough to call me.
But there are other people in my life who tell me that they're proud of me. Sometimes I finish a chapter and one of my friends will say it. It doesn't make me cry anymore, but it still means a lot to me. So... thanks to everyone who's proud of me. All I want is to continue to make u all proud.
consider: teenagers aren’t apathetic about everything they’re just used to you shitting all over whatever they show excitement about
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teaboot · 8 months ago
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Passing on an important conversation I had with a family member the other day
Them: Gay people make me uncomfortable.
Me: (Queer, bluescreening) Uhhhhhhh
Them: I ean, I don't mind gay people, I just don't like the ones that are all in your face about it.
Me: What do you mean
Them: : I mean, like. It's fine if you're gay, you can be gay, that's not something you can change- there's just a time and a place, you know? You shouldn't be making it everyone else's business
Me: I don't know what you mean. Can you give me an example?
Them: Uhhhhh.
Them: Okay, so I was at a bar with my buddy a while back, right? And this gay person comes up to me, right, and they start flirting
Them: And I tell them, you know, I'm straight, and I'm married, right?
Me: Right
Them: And like. They kinda laugh it off, but they keep doing it. Making these comments, being all flamboyant, saying I have a nice ass, trying to give me their number in case I wanna "switch teams".
Them: And I'm sitting there like... hey, no problem with your whole lifestyle and all, but I told you I'm not interested. I'm married.
Them: That kinda thing. The whole "out and proud, cant shut me down" thing
Them: Like, leave that shit at home
Me:
Me: So it's like when a pretty lady is at a bar, and some guy comes over and won't leave her alone?
Them: Yeah
Me:
Me: So that's not a gay people thing, that's just flat-out sexual harassment
Them: what
Me: Your problem isn't gay people, it's assholes
Them:
Them: Well that sure would have sounded better, huh
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homunculus-argument · 1 year ago
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Another worldbuilding application of the "two layer rule": To create a culture while avoiding The Planet Of Hats (the thing where a people only have one thing going for them, like "everyone wears a silly hat"): You only need two hats.
Try picking two random flat culture ideas and combine them, see how they interact. Let's say taking the Proud Warrior Race - people who are all about glory in battle and feats of strength, whose songs and ballads are about heroes in battle and whose education consists of combat and military tactics. Throw in another element: Living in diaspora. Suddenly you've got a whole more interesting dynamic going on - how did a people like this end up cast out of their old native land? How do they feel about it? How do they make a living now - as guards, mercenaries? How do their non-combatants live? Were they always warrior people, or did they become fighters out of necessity to fend for themselves in the lands of strangers? How do the peoples of these lands regard them?
Like I'm not shitting, it's literally that easy. You can avoid writing an one-dimensional culture just by adding another equally flat element, and the third dimension appears on its own just like that. And while one of the features can be location/climate, you can also combine two of those with each other.
Let's take a pretty standard Fantasy Race Biome: The forest people. Their job is the forest. They live there, hunt there, forage there, they have an obnoxious amount of sayings that somehow refer to trees, woods, or forests. Very high chance of being elves. And then a second common stock Fantasy Biome People: The Grim Cold North. Everything is bleak and grim up there. People are hardy and harsh, "frostbite because the climate hates you" and "stabbed because your neighbour hates you" are the most common causes of death. People are either completely humourless or have a horrifyingly dark, morbid sense of humour. They might find it funny that you genuinely can't tell which one.
Now combine them: Grim Cold Bleak Forest People. The summer lasts about 15 minutes and these people know every single type of berry, mushroom and herb that's edible in any fathomable way. You're not sure if they're joking about occasionally resorting to eating tree bark to survive the long dark winter. Not a warrior people, but very skilled in disappearing into the forest and picking off would-be invaders one by one. Once they fuck off into the woods you won't find them unless they want to be found.
You know, Finland.
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madamechrissy · 2 months ago
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Just Friends!?
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-Art in the banner from nek0zuu_ on X-
Pairings- Former Nerd! Gojo and popular F! reader
Summary - Satoru Gojo was the biggest nerd EVER in high school with you, next door neighbors, study buddies, you were the best friends in the world. Never having the courage to ask you -the 'popular girl' out- you never knew he felt for you. He ended up leaving town, moving to the big city of LA- getting famous with a modeling career, and lost touch with everyone from his old life. While you're working the family pub to help out your parents, years later, he finally comes back to visit, just to have you making his drink. Everything about him is different, aside from those pretty blue eyes and the sweet grin. You feel he's so accomplished now, and you're just a small town girl, but little do you know, you've never left his mind.
Warnings - Will be explicit and smutty (it's me!?) Nerdjo turned famous and cocky, but he's still just a Nerdjo deep down hehe- his chap, mentions of sex/getting turned on, Gojo being an ass tbh, welcome back Jock Sukuna and say hi to bitchy model Samantha lol, some angst and mutual pining, lots of feelings
Based HEAVILY on the 2005 Rom com Just Friends - part of my amazinggg moot @indiewritesxoxo's Friday night flicks! 🌙
<<<Part One - Playlist - Masterlist - Part Three>>>
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Part Two
Your POV
It was odd, being back in your hometown after years of living on your own, but when your family needed help with their bar, and with student loans piling up -  teaching did not pay very well - you couldn’t help but come back home for a bit. The shifts at the hometown bar helped, and staying with your parents for just a few months was definitely a life saver.
It’s not exactly where you saw yourself, teaching lay offs all over, now you have a preschool class here and you love it, but it’s definitely not enough to cover everything. You feel so… just upset, that you’re back here at your first job, grabbing beers for familiar faces, people who never left their hometown, and some that have, but came back like you did.
Despite it being Spring, it was freezing where you lived, some cold spurt that brought on snow in March, so many of the town were curling up by the roaring fire, bundled up laughing and drinking to stay warm. The bar had quite a cozy atmosphere, it reminded you of home, truly, you grew up here, from bussing tables and cleaning to serving drinks.
“Hey love, you look amazing.” You see Suguru and Shoko then, Shoko has a cigarette between her fingers, a familiar smile that makes you beam, as you come out from behind the bar, hugging them both.
“I missed you two oh goodness!” You receive a kiss on each cheek from them, as you hug them together.
“We heard you were back in town, how have you been?” Suguru asks softly, you sigh a bit, peering up at the tall man.
“I can’t believe I’m back here. Layoffs.” They frown then. “I heard you all run a whole dentist office!?”
“Sugu is a hot dentist.” Shoko teases, and he smirks a bit.
“Shoko runs the clinic attached to it. She outranks me.”
“Always.” You laugh with the two of them, hands on their shoulders now.
“I’m so proud of you two, what? Doctors, I can't believe that.”
“Hey now, teaching is important.” Shoko brushes your hair back softly, earning your flushed cheeks at her praise.
“They definitely don’t make enough.” Suguru says, earning your sigh.
“You’re telling me. Let me get you all drinks!” You eagerly bounce back, mixing them up drinks, Shoko loves a lemon drop from what you remember, and Suguru always enjoyed a rum and coke.
“You remember!” Shoko winks as you hand her the pretty drink, garnishing it with a little lemon swirl and grinning. The noise of the bar fills your ears, as you lean across the polished bar table, glinting under the soft lights overhead.
“Of course I remember. Gosh, it’s been four years since I’ve seen you all I think.” You all start catching up, but of course it starts to get busier, and you begin to take care of all the customers as Suguru and Shoko start tossing darts at the black and red circled board.
You smile at them, they’d always been the perfect couple, making that longing fill you too much. You fully expected to be married with kids by now, sure it was quite a homey little dream, that white picket fence, maybe two kids and some cute golden retriever, but that’s what you always dreamed of. Unfortunately, your bad taste and men did not end in high school.
“Speak of the devil…” You murmur nervously, when you see him, Ryomen Sukuna looking just as good if not better than high school, he still wears his damn letterman’s jacket from college, where he’d become an all star player, you hear now he’s even going pro.
What’s he doing back home?
He grins over now, red eyes sharp as ever, and you fully anticipate him bothering you, saying something pervy, as he walks across the crowded bar, stopping to talk to almost everyone, he was quite a name here. The only person more famous from your little town - there is a population of fourteen thousand and perhaps four stop lights- was Satoru Gojo.
You’d seen him on the damn cat walk, recently he was on the cover of Vogue, him and some other really famous model, this little smirk on his face that just doesn’t fit the boy you knew. If you thought he was cut before, his body was damn near godly, so perfect it was intimidating, and he’d only gotten prettier, not that Satoru wasn’t always so pretty.
He just didn’t know it then.
You think of him sometimes, hurt initially back when summer break hit after high school, and he refused all your calls, he refused to see or talk to anyone when you all lived so fucking close. You tried everything you could, feeling awful because it was your party and you didn’t know, could you have done more? Could you have shoved everyone out?
You were fully planning to if he’d just given you a moment. Your yearbook to this day is something you cherish, and reading his sweet words over and over, he’d taken over an entire page, with words of love you’ve never felt before. But to say it was all ‘a joke’ and leaving, never accepting a friend request, shit he didn’t even talk to Suguru or Shoko, his other best friends.
Satoru never spoke of his hometown in interviews, and when you saw his mom recently, you learned he’s never come home. You know things were hard on him, brutal even, but you wish he knew just how much you loved him, cared for him, sure it was more of a beautiful friendship, but you also were attracted to him, though you were scared to ruin that friendship.
If he just gave you a damn moment.
A friendship you built your entire life demolished, and you miss him even now, you miss the quiet mornings you two would study at the library, you miss the cup of coffee he’d have for you every morning. You missed the little sleepovers, playing pokemon games together, battling it out on the Wii, the amount of things the two of you shared, gone in a moment.
Sukuna leans across the bar, shaking you out of your reverie, his familiar, arrogant smirk just a little softer as his ruby eyes drape down your body, you’re just in some jeans and a polo, nothing too sexy for the family bar here. But he seems to take pleasure in every slow inch, murmuring your name.
“Look at you, even hotter than high school, shit.” You heat up a bit under his gaze, tilting your head and running your hand across your neck.
“Thank you, Sukuna. You look good too.” You earn his wide grin, as he swipes a hand through his pink hair, snowflakes melting just a bit as he leans his hip against the bar now.
“I’ve wondered how you were doing, aren’t you a teacher?”
“I am, but… layoffs.” Sukuna frowns a bit. “I’m teaching preschool here for now, but it’s…”
“They don’t pay shit.” On this, everyone agrees,
“Mmhmm, but it’s my passion. So here I am, working the student loans off.” You wink at him, and he softens then, resting his elbow on the bar, a hand in his chin.
“So pretty you shouldn’t be working.”
“Oh… no. Not at all.” You clear your throat, something is so different about him, he’s not the asshole you remember, or so it seems. “But just temporary, I’m finishing up a couple classes to teach higher education.”
“You always were smart, you’ll do well.”
“Oh… thank you, Sukuna.”
“Used to call me Kuna you know.” You giggle now, easing a bit, even under his gaze, which keeps darting down your body. “God you haven’t changed a bit.”
“Say that to the freshman fifteen that never left.” Sukuna chuckles then, when you turn and bend over, grabbing a beer.
“Went to your nice ass-”
“Sukuna!” You glare behind yourself, and he’s chuckling. “Here I was thinking you were all sweet.”
“I am sweet, thank you. Shit I’d love to catch up sometime?” You hand him his beer, sighing then.
“I don’t know…”
“Lunch or something?”
Satoru’s POV
Satoru’s stepping into the bustling bar with the most annoying model ever, cock hungry too, who’s clinging to his arm, looking at the little bar in disgust, while he eyes the familiar surroundings. He scoffs as he sees Sukuna’s letterman jacket, so pretentious really, and eyes everyone around, surely… your parents still run this place, he wonders, do you ever come visit?
“It’s so… quaint.” Comes Samantha’s voice next to him, running her fingers along the dusty bar, grimacing, she’s as tall as Satoru in her heels, perhaps one of the few women who he doesn’t tower over. All models were pretty tall, but typically he still had a couple inches, but Samantha was the best in her field, and maybe longer legs than Satoru Gojo himself.
“Yeah, I guess compared to LA.” He murmurs, the surroundings oddly comforting, despite how much he thought he’d hate it here. Something about shivering in the cold and then coming to this warm, bustling bar was…
Homey.
It gnaws at him, as people recognize him, and they begin to all come up, many who used to pick on him. He clings to that pretty model of his tighter, putting on a bright grin and lowering his black Gucci shades, the two of them are decked out in Saint Laurent and looking like a million bucks. Even in public, you had to make sure you were dressed to kill.
“Holy shit…” Satoru sees Suguru and Shoko then, their mouths drop as they come up to him. He's spoken to them a little here and there, but overwhelmingly has not said much since college was over. “Look at you two!”
“Look at you, all preening like a peacock.” Shoko rolls her dark eyes, sipping on a drink as she assesses him and his ‘girl’ who is clinging to him, laughing far too fake to ever be taken for as genuine, grating on his nerves.
“How cute, townies!” Samantha says, tossing blonde hair back, and Satoru scowls over at her.
“Who’s the snob?” Suguru asks boldly, making her gasp as Satoru’s muffling his laughter.
“Be nice.” Satoru warns, hands in the pockets of his red dress pants, a ruby so bright and bold it’s ridiculous for a place where people wear jeans and flannels.
“They’re not nice, Gojo. I don’t like it here!” She’s stomping her feet, and Satoru sighs, shaking his head.
“Go get a drink, hmm?” He turns her and smacks her ass, she cringes then.
“Myself!?”
“Become immersed in the small town, it’ll be good publicity, sweets.” He winks as she pouts and saunters off, ignoring the men and at one point hissing at one.
“She’s on drugs or…” Suguru trails off, and Satoru snorts.
“She’s definitely on a good Adderall / Xani combo. Shit… I missed you guys.” He ruffles Shoko’s hair, and shoves at Suguru good naturedly, Suguru smiles a bit, dark hair even longer than Satoru remembers.
“Sure you did. Come back to visit?”
“Uh… no.” He peers at his phone, sighing now. “Our suite for whatever reason isn’t available, I was stopping here and going to call Mom, since I have no reception whatsoever.”
“Why would you bring her to your mom’s, doesn’t she suffer enough with you as her kid?” Shoko earns Satoru sticking his tongue out, picking up the phone and dialing.
“Toru, sweetie!” Satoru sighs, he loves his mom, but to this day she really treats him like a child, even now.
“Hey mom, cool if I stay a few nights? I have a modeling-”
“You’re coming home!?” Satoru winces, pulling back the phone as Suguru and Shoko laugh.
“Yeah, if it’s-”
“I’ll make your favorite, baby, triple stack pancakes with sundae-”
“No, no, too many carbs.” He hears his mom’s sigh of disappointment, and clenches his jaw just a bit, looking over to see Samantha taking pictures of herself on her fancy phone, throwing up a pose now. “I guess yeah, I’ll eat pancakes.”
“My baby, oh I can’t wait, let me get started now!” His mom hangs up, and he can’t help but feel that fondness, the emptiness he’s had for so long just the tiniest bit filled by her voice.
“She’s excited.” He muses, sighing then. “I need a drink.”
Suguru and Shoko eye each other, and Satoru’s blue eyes narrow, studying their odd expressions. “Yes, you should, bartender she’s amazing.” Shoko’s smiling, and Satoru’s lips purse a bit.
“Hmm, guess I’ll see. I’ll be back.” He pats their shoulders again, heading over and passing more and more familiar faces, gosh none of them left, huh?
He leans against the bar, poking around on his phone as he hears Sukuna, asking then - 
“Lunch sometime?”
He snorts, eyeing the tall, big man who used to torment him, now eye to eye with him, and damn near his size. Sukuna blinks in surprise a bit when Satoru eyes him with humor.
“Lunch is friendzone territory, ouch.” Sukuna glares now, fists clenching on the bar, and that’s when…
You see him.
Satoru Gojo.
“Maybe I like lunch.” Your voice shocks him then, he eyes you, wide blue eyes going to the face of the girl he loved.
Your face.
You’re so pretty it makes his heart thud out of his fucking chest, you’re just like you were, maybe a bit more mature looking now, but god it was like a blast from his past, the ultimate memory of you couldn’t compare. You’re so beautiful, this fucking glow around you still, that comfort he has been craving hitting him in one instant, as he just stands there.
Satoru Gojo, who got whatever girl he wanted, was just standing there, staring at you, with his lips parted, you are heating up under his scrutiny, unsure of just what he was thinking, biting that lower lip a bit and shifting. He notices now, that you’re not fawning over him, drooling, like women did, if anything you’re glaring just a bit, your jaw set.
“I… you… here…” He can’t compute a fucking word - stupid, stupid - why did you reduce him to pathetic again, after all these years!?
“Yes, I work here again. I know, it’s not what I imagined either.” Your soft, devastated words attack him, making him feel like you punched him right in the gut, as Sukuna raises a brow at Satoru.
“Friend zone, did you just say that?” Satoru’s sputtering now, before clearing his throat, shutting his eyes and taking a breath.
He’s not some ‘nerd’ anymore.
He’s Satoru Fucking Gojo.
He smirks and leans against the bar, eyeing you slowly, pulling off pretentious shades that make you miss his tortoiseshell glasses. But when those piercing, swirling blue eyes hit you, trailing like Sukuna’s had, you feel so shy suddenly, so nervous around him, after so long. Surely he was looking down at you, surely he was so high and mighty that your life seemed sad to him.
You stand a little straighter now, while the two men, who have changed so much, both eye you, a blast from fucking high school if you ever saw one. “Look at you…” He murmurs your name softly, like a caress- shit his voice is deeper, it’s so sure, so cocky and conceited, not the sweet boy you miss. “You look great.”
“Thanks, so do you.” You manage softly, he’s in some suit worth as much as your year of work you’re sure, open with a vest showing of chest muscles, fuck he has red silk gloves, it’s so ridiculous you almost laugh.
He’s gorgeous but…
Who is he really?
“Working here again, huh?” He means it to be casual, but the way it comes off makes you straighten your shoulders, as Sukuna winces.
“All that money, all those women and you never learned.” Satoru scowls at Sukuna now, while you turn away, giving him a view of a body he’s dreamed of, fuck you’re even sexier now, those jeans sitting just right, is none of you not perfect, not beautiful?
“What can I get you, Gojo?” You ask after grabbing another beer for Sukuna, who takes it with a smile, and he tenses at that.
Gojo.
When did you ever call him anything but ‘Toru’?
But, you all are literally strangers now.
“Martini.” He says, earning Sukuna’s snort, Satoru’s scowl heads his direction once again as you start to get the ingredients together, shaking it up in the gold shaker like a pro.
“Little bitch drink.”
“Beer is disgusting, fuck that.”
Sukuna glares as he sips the drink, and you pour Satoru his martini, garnishing it and giving a small smile that doesn’t reach your eyes. “One martini.”
“Thanks, sweetheart.” You falter, at his soft voice, at the way he says everything as if it were some caress.
“You’re welcome.” He hands you far too much money then, making you blink. “It’s only ten bucks.”
“Keep the rest, love.” He winks now, and you feel your face heating up, did he think you needed it so badly? Does he pity you?
Does he care?
“Thanks… um, sure on lunch, Sukuna.” Satoru’s teeth clench, like watching history repeat itself. “Even if it’s ‘friend zone’ I’m fine with meeting up.”
“Perfect, here’s my number…” He writes it right on one of the pretty white napkins, and you take it carefully. “I’ll be in town all week.”
“Alright, sounds good.” Sukuna tips you, not the exorbitant fifty dollars Satoru just handed you, but a twenty, with a little nod of his head, as he passes Satoru now, and Samantha comes right up to him.
“Oh look at you, all star for the-” She’s flirting but Sukuna ignores her, winking at you and making you want to giggle, but you barely hold it in. “So rude! Gojo, can we please leave this shitty little bar?”
You scowl right up at the tall, beautiful model who pouts over at Satoru, clinging to his arm, he stiffens, but you see it, clearly they’re… together. “The ‘shitty little bar’ is owned by my family. And you are more than welcome to leave.”
“Oooh, you’re feisty.” She’s giggling psychotically, using her hand to make a clawing motion. “Rawr!”
“The fuck…” You shake your head, sighing as you set back to work, Samantha’s hands running down Satoru’s chest, irritating him to no end.
All he can see is you, and you’re just turning away, the girl he…
He left.
He left you.
No word, no goodbye, and he thought maybe it wouldn’t feel like this, maybe after eight years and endless women in his bed, he could stop feeling like this, stop the love he had. He tried to chalk it up to puppy love, you were the nicest person to him, of course he developed feelings, right?
Wrong.
He watches as you head out from behind the bar as Samantha’s going on and on about some Instagram post, downing the rest of his martini. “We’ll leave in a minute, go wait in the car.”
“I can’t believe we don’t even have a driver, ugh!” Satoru blinks at her, turning her now, watching as you stop and talk to Suguru and Shoko, smiling so sweet, lighting up the whole fucking room.
“I’ll be out in a minute.”
“Oh fine but…” She drags him down by his tie, whispering in his ear then- “I can suck you while you drive.”
What would once excite him doesn’t compute, he just nods and pushes the crazy woman to the entrance of the bar. “Sure whatever.”
“No pictures, please.” She throws on her sunglasses, as curious people wonder just what this woman is talking about, and Satoru feels your eyes on him then, his catch yours across the room. He watches you tense, as he steps closer, and Shoko and Suguru depart, giving you both one moment.
“Hi.” He manages to say, and for once, the pretentious rich model reminds you of him, the boy you grew up with, the one you miss so badly it feels like he’s a dream.
“Hi.” Your soft voice ends him, you’re shifting side to side, Satoru towers over you, making you feel so small then, as he presses a hand against the wall over your head, tilting your chin up with his other hand. Your eyes go wide then, breath catching, heart hammering.
“I’d love to catch up, I am here for a few days, I’ll be at mom’s.” You blink a bit then, looking down, gently taking his hand off your chin by his wrist, the contact making you both pause. For a moment he pictures it, kissing you, making every move he failed at in high school, taking your lips over.
He pictures so much, up to and including you under him, shit maybe now he’d have a chance with a girl like you, maybe he could taste your sweetness, could inhale that vanilla body spray you somehow wear eight years later. Could show you pleasure he bets you never got before, cock aching just being in your presence, he has to will it to go down.
“Your mom, I just saw her.” You ease his hand down, back resting against the wall just a bit, hair falling across your shoulders, you gasp when he brushes it back, another move he had tried and failed at back then.
That night should have been his first kiss.
You should have been his first everything, fuck.
“Could we do dinner or drinks?” His tone reminds you of what he said earlier, so you smile, a little mean glint in your eye.
“Maybe lunch.”
“Lunch!?” He’s glaring, thin white brows lowered, and you giggle.
“Coffee?”
Shit.
“Or is that too ‘friend zone’ for you, Gojo.” Satoru blinks a bit, hand falling, barely brushing your shoulder when it falls, you try to ignore how good it feels, he tries to act nonchalant, not like the fucking world is faded, aside from you. That the entire bar is just an echo, it’s just you.
And you’re furious, he can feel it. “No, no I mean it’s fine. If you want… coffee we can do coffee.” He can’t believe he’s saying this, he brushes his white locks back, winking down then. “We can do whatever you want.”
“Uh huh. Well, coffee then, if you want to catch up I’m surprised, considering it all though.” Satoru’s jaw clenches just a bit.
“I’d like to catch up.” You soften at his first vulnerable statement, the first thing that feels real. “How about in the morning, are you staying nearby?”
“I’m living with my parents for a couple months.” He frowns at that, you suddenly feel so insecure, a rich model right in front of you, just as he said that day- that he’d make it, and you all…
Would just burn out.
Maybe you did.
“Oh, you are, is something wrong?”
“Helping them a bit, big teacher layoffs nationwide.”
“You teach?” His smile is finally genuine, as you nod, so shyly, his shoulders relax, as his hands slip in his pockets once more. “You always wanted to.” Your eyes shoot up to his now, swirling beautiful blue, a hint of the sweet boy you adored.
“You remember?”
“How couldn’t I…”
“I figured you forgot us all.” Satoru gulps down the guilt, as you manage to pull yourself together, sighing. “Come by my parents in the morning, if you remember where they are.”
“How can I forget, it’s across the street.”
“All right then… I look forward to it.” He awkwardly leans down, as you wrap a friendly arm around his waist, inhaling his cologne, much different than the boy who wore axe body spray and always sucked on lifesavers. His hard body against your much softer one feels a little too good, when he rests his chin on your head.
Nothing has ever felt better than holding you in his arms.
Memories swirl for the both of you, but it’s different, Satoru seems like some bold and pretentious stranger, but for a moment you remember. You remember crying in his arms, over this breakup or that, you remember his sweet hugs during study sessions, you remember laughing and watching the dumbest movies. You exhale just a bit, as a big hand presses the small of your back.
Satoru missed you.
He doesn’t say it, he can’t say anything, pulling back and looking at you then, hand coming to cup your face, opening his mouth to speak when Samantha starts shouting “I’m bored Gojo! I’m so bored!”
The entire bar turns her direction, you fall back a bit, as Gojo internally curses, seeing the brat that is his partner crossing her arms in that fur coat. “I’m coming okay, shit!”
“Your girlfriend is bored.” You’re giggling then, you can’t help it, covering your face as Samantha glares.
“Not my girlfriend, jesus. Um… okay, the morning.” You nod, walking off now, past Samantha, who hisses at you like the psychotic bitch she is, making Satoru grimace with Suguru and Shoko walk up to Satoru.
“You fucked that intro up.” Suguru says, snorting as he puts his arm around Shoko’s waist, and she’s laughing.
“Fucked it up bad.”
“Oh like you’re any help.” They just shake their head, eyeing Satoru’s screaming model bestie.
“See you in eight more years.” Suguru’s words sting, as Satoru feels it then, the guilt eating away at him, but Samantha won’t shut up long enough for him to process, he drags her out into the cold, chilled air, seeing you climbing up into what appears to be your SUV, your eyes flicker to him for just a moment, before you shut the door.
“You like townies hmm? Can’t stop eye fucking girl next door.” Satoru’s eyes make even Samantha falter then.
“Who I like is none of your fucking concern. In.” He plops down in the rental, an audi of course, god forbid Satoru Gojo or Samantha would be seen in anything less, on that they are the same.
“You’re so cranky, she’s hot, just… gives those girl next door vibes.”
“Yeah well, she was the girl next door for me. Almost.” He feels her hand now, trailing over his thigh, she leans over and laughs in his ear, making him cringe. “How’d I get stuck with-”
“Let me make you feel so good, should I suck little Gojo?”
“Little Gojo!? It’s not little, Samantha.” He shoves her off, and she pouts again, crossing her arms.
“How’d I get stuck with you is the question, no fun. Now we have to go stay in poorville.”
“It’s the fucking suberbs.”
“Poor. Poor. Poor. Boring, boring.” Satoru almost pushes her out of the goddamn car, no blow job would be worth it, even if it would shut her up for a moment, even if his cock twitches thinking of you.
He pulls up to his home, his mother already has it opened when he walks up, hugging him tightly, kissing his face all over and making him wince. “Mom…”
“My baby, I never thought you’d come home.” She’s got tears in her pretty blue eyes, she visits LA once a year or more, but now the way tears fall from eyes that match his wracks him with guilt.
He could have come back at least once, right?
No, no he couldn’t.
“And this is…”
“Samantha.” She shakes his mom’s hand, tossing back long blonde locks and smiling. “You have such a quaint little home.”
Satoru’s mom blinks rapidly, brows together, this wasn’t a small home, it was four stories and lovely, left to them from Satoru’s dad, but he supposes to a rich, spoiled brat like Samantha, it’s ‘quaint’. “Um, thank you, and you’re staying too?”
“Unfortunately.” Satoru’s mom raises her brows, as Samantha clings to Satoru once again, grinning.
“I get to meet the mom, huh? I’m so special-”
“Let’s eat.”
Satoru finally leaves a snoring, annoying model brat Samantha alone in the guest room, when he walks inside his childhood room, frozen. Time has been frozen, his mother hasn’t changed a single fucking thing, up to and including pictures of you and him all over the walls. He gulps down his emotions, shutting the door behind him with a quiet click, undressing carefully.
He sees his old nerdy ass sweater, one you’d gotten him, still folded on his desk, like he never left. His fingers brush the fabric, as he stares at his reflection, feeling like he’s a ghost in his own room. The connections start to build, the mirror he kissed that night, the endless photos and mementos he kept. He eyes that box now, opening a letter carefully, crumbled and faded ink.
My Toru, I hope you have the best day, I can’t wait for the movies!
Toru, can you believe how the year has flown by!?
Do you want to go bowling Y or N
Your new glasses are so cute I love them!
Bad day today, sorry I’m quiet.
Tears fall down his cheeks, he only notices when the blotches form on the ink, all the times you’d write to him every day, passing little notes in class with hearts all over them, brightening his day. He’d kept every single fucking one, and there were so, so many in this tin box, stuffed inside like all of his fucking feelings.
He wipes his eyes quickly, shaking it off, pulling out his luggage with his own clothes and getting dressed in sweats for the night, curiously pushing on the cd left in the player, sighing then. Your favorite song, it’s that mixed CD he was making you, the one he never gave you. Satoru quickly turns it off, the button a resounding click, walking to the corkboard littered with you.
Knock knock knock.
“Come in, mom.” She does just that, peeking her pretty face, still so young looking, so sweet as she smiles at him. “You didn’t change any of it.”
“No, I always hoped you’d come back, at least for a day.” She walks up to Satoru now, seeing the photos he’s staring at now, Satoru and you sipping a milkshake together with two straws, in the middle of a diner. “You two were so sweet, she’s back in town you know.”
“I know… I’m seeing her in the morning.” His mom’s eyes light up, and he laughs a bit. “Don’t get excited, my life isn’t here mom.”
“Part of it will always be.” She cups his face, smiling up at him. “I hope you have fun with her, she has kept in touch all these years you know.”
“She has?”
“Yes, she… misses you. She asks about you when she visits town.” Satoru blinks back emotion, turning away now, clearing his throat.
You asked about him after all this? After he'd gone out of your life for good? What if he just heard you out, what if he…
“I’m tired, mom.” Mrs. Gojo nods, a hand on his back for a moment.
“Good night, Toru.”
“Night.” He lays in his bed, phone blowing up, his agent with details, a coordinator for the show, friends from LA teasing him on having to come back home, but he quickly turns it off, holding a photo of you, the only one he brought.
He gently touches it, sighing, wondering…
Will you like him now, could he be good enough?
While you lay in bed, tossing, turning, fuming damn near at Satoru Gojo’s audacity, sitting up finally, putting on Satoru’s favorite song, on that mixed CD you had been making him, before he disappeared. Your childhood room is the same as it always was, littered with photos of you and Satoru, your best friend that just disappeared, and came back a different person.
You touch a photo, one where he’s grinning so big with his cute little braces, holding up a science award, and you’re so overcome with emotion you have to hold back your tears, touching the polaroid gently. Was that boy in there somewhere, the boy you knew, the one who deserved the world - he seemingly got it of course.
Would he find you so boring? He hung out with celebrities, he walked runways, he’s clearly got a beautiful - batshit insane but- girl on his arm. Was it some pity, did he feel bad you were in a little bar? Your mind can’t handle it all, as you plop down in your childhood bed, mind racing.
Who was Satoru Gojo now?
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Ah why'd I tear up when Satoru goes home? Next part we see just how coffee goes lol
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differenteagletragedy · 2 months ago
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On domesticating Simon Riley.
Simon knows people, knows how to read them and how to get what he wants out of them, in a general sense. He also knows women, their bodies and how to handle them. How to pick one out that wants the same thing he wants, how to approach them and then how to cut and run.
What he doesn't know is how to stay. How to let someone else know him, even see him. What makes a home.
So you're going to have to teach him.
He has the most minimal wardrobe you've ever seen -- a few pairs of jeans, a handful of t-shirts, a couple of hoodies and one pair of boots. After a few weeks of watching him lace up those boots every time he takes out the trash, you check them for his shoe size then order him a pair of crocs to wear around the house and when they arrive, you leave them by the door, where he keeps his boots.
"The fuck are these?" he grumbles that evening when he goes to grab the boots while you're cleaning up after dinner. They're too big to be yours, but he knows they're not his.
"I got them for you," you answer, coming to stand beside him. "Just something to wear when you need to step outside for a minute or if your little feet get cold and you wanna wear something around inside."
"I don't have ... fucking hell," he says, pointing down to the shoes. "They've got holes all in them."
"That's so you can accessorize!" you say proudly, pulling out a little bag full of charms that you picked out for him.
It's ridiculous. It looks absolutely absurd. But he wears them anyway, because he's learning that when people care about each other, they make little gestures like this, and if there's a way that he can wear your love for him around like a badge of honor, then no matter how goofy it looks, he'll be proud to do it.
Simon chews his fingernails down to the quick, a nervous habit that he's had for as long as he can remember. After catching him with a couple of bloody fingers after one particularly bad evening, you tenderly pull him into the kitchen, wash his hands and dry them, then sit him down at the kitchen table and leave for a moment, only to come back with nail polish.
"Really, love?" he asks, looking up at you with a smirk. "Gonna give me a manicure?"
You roll your eyes, pulling one of the chairs closer to him and reaching out for his hands, replying, "What, too manly to have your nails done?"
"Yeah, that's what it is," he smirks, all sarcasm, then says, "Why though?"
"It's the taste," you explain, shaking a bottle of black polish before taking the cap off and carefully leaning in to start on his right thumbnail. "The idea is that when you go to bite your nails, the polish will make it taste bitter so you stop."
He can't help but smile a little to himself as he watches you work. He doesn't care one way or the other about his nails, but it's cute, watching you so focused on him. Still, something about it nags at him, because while it feels good, having you care, it doesn't quite feel right, not all the way. Not just yet.
"Not hurting anyone with biting them," he says quietly, his eyes on his hands as you finish up.
You give a little sigh, capping the bottle before meeting his eyes, and you tell him, "You're hurting yourself. And that's not ok, not with me."
He doesn't do birthdays, not his anyway. Not in a dramatic "I hate my birthday" way, it's just not something of note to him. He knows the date, acknowledges it to himself when it comes just as a reminder that he's 40 now, not 39, nothing more. The first birthday he has with you comes after you've been together for several months, and you only hear about it after the fact.
"My sweet boyfriend," you coo at him one night in bed, a little tipsy from the wine you'd had with dinner. "My beautiful, beautiful boyfriend."
He chuckles, still marveling at how much you seem to marvel at him. Your hands are on him, gentle and doting, and he hears you giggle as you ramble on.
"Sweet and kind and handsome and strong," you say, running a hand through his hair. "He always watches out for me. He always takes care of me. My favorite person."
"You're drunk," he points out, smiling softly, cheeks red.
"Am not," you reply. "Even if I am, the truth is the truth."
You go on, praising him for everything you can think of. Pretty blonde hair, pretty smatterings of freckles, pretty dimples that only you ever get to see. It's almost unbearable, hearing how much you adore him, but in a good way. Like it's stretching something in him that's been closed for far too long.
You're breaking him in, slowly and carefully.
"Have you ever," you ask him at one point, "ever in your entire 39 years, thought that you'd get a girlfriend as thoughtful and loving as me?"
It's a playful question, but of course he's never thought that. His chest aches at the thought of just how much you've given him, and how much you let him give you in return. So instead, he dodges it.
"Not 39 anymore, sweetheart," he says softly.
Your brow furrows immediately, not understanding, and he laughs quietly, his hand on your stomach under the blankets sliding to your side to pull you closer.
"A few weeks ago," he explains.
"Your birthday was a few weeks ago?"
"It was."
"And you just ... didn't think to say anything?"
You're serious now, almost concerned, and he can't stand it.
"It's not a big deal, love," he says, leaning in to press kisses against your forehead and temple. "Just another day."
"It is a big deal," you argue, pulling back to look at him. "I would have ... I don't know, I would have gotten you something. Treated you special. Thrown a party, something."
"One, I don't like parties. Two, you treat me special everyday. Three, you've already given me more than you know, I don't need anything else."
All those things are true, but it still takes much longer than he'd like to get the frown off your face.
The next day, you ask him to run some errands for you. You need the oil changed in your car, some things from the big grocery store on the other side of town, but you need to stay home and take care of some things that need done around the house. He agrees easily. He likes taking care of you.
When he comes back later that afternoon, he goes for the kitchen, ready to put up the groceries he'd picked up, and there you are, leaning against the counter and smiling at him like you were waiting for him.
The homemade cake on the counter beside you, with candles sticking out and "Happy Birthday Simon" written in icing on top, tells him that you were.
Every time you do something like this, perform some little act of kindness that comes so naturally to you, it feels like something gets unlocked inside him. Like there have always been chains wrapped around his mind and his heart, keeping him tight and cold and alone, padlocks piling on top year after year, keeping all the hurt secure inside. But somehow you have the key, and you take your time, undoing them all.
Undoing him, completely and thoroughly, until he's open for the first time. And it's raw and new, and it hurts, but something in him knows that the pain will give way to something beautiful.
He watches as you step up to him, wrapping your arms around his waist and leaning your head against his chest.
"Happy birthday, Simon," you say softly.
He can't say anything, not now, so he pulls you closer to him, strong arms cradling you against him, and you're close enough that he can feel when the corner of your mouth turns up into a smile
Another lock coming off. Another piece of proof that he can be something different, something better, with you.
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running-in-the-dark · 1 year ago
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#had more to say about that last post#like. they (my in-laws) haven't once mentioned the fact that I finally finally finally had my last exam and passed and will be getting my#degree now#we told them. they were just like 'oh okay what profession does that make you now?' I have a bachelor's degree in business administration..#it's not like. oh you're an electrician now. or something. they know this. we have told them many times#they didn't congratulate me. they weren't understanding about how hard the last couple months have been (with my thesis and the exam WHILE#finding an apartment and then preparing to move out and then actually doing that)#no all I got was judgmental comments because I didn't have everything ready and packed when we were moving out#look! I know I'm awful! I know I'm probably just a lazy bitch! but I couldn't fucking do any more!#I'm tired all day every day. I can't move around much before I feel so exhausted and dizzy that I have to stop.#I feel like absolute shit for not getting everything done!#but yes sure just keep telling me that. maybe that'll make my body get better just because it makes me feel bad :)#literally their view on everything is basically 'just do it. and do it correctly. the exact same way we would do it.'#like. oh yeah everything is just that easy! and if you don't do it all perfectly you're trash. you're disgusting. you're LAZY and that's#awful#the only thing that matters in life is your job. it has to be your whole life and your entire personality and the only thing you are proud#of. you are alive to work. the only thing that matters is how your employer feels about you.#it's fucking exhausting.#I know what they think about me. I know they think I'm bad. like these people have known me for ten years. they have seen that I've#struggled with a bunch of different physical health issues. and it just does not matter! I'm just supposed to do everything anyway!#literally every time it comes up they're like 'why can't you do this thing that requires a lot of hand strength?' hello? my hands have been#fucked up for like 12 years. you know this.#so have my feet. no I'm not going for a fucking one hour walk with you guys. yes obviously I can walk that long. no I'm not gonna do it!#it HURTS. I have to carefully weigh it up and decide if it's worth being in pain for at least the next day!#but no there's absolutely no compassion or understanding. just contempt. they don't hide it at all#I'm so tired of this family#honestly? if my husband had a different (nice. warm. kind) family I would probably feel differently about him. though he'd also be#completely different then. his parents are the opposite of mine but they still fucked him up so bad.#anyway I'm done complaining for now. because I'm tired & I'll probably fall asleep again soon.#I really really hate my life tbh
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yourcutelittlegayfriend · 8 months ago
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Imagine this
I've been reading some of this good fics about Yandere Batfam x neglected Reader and it got me thinking.
In some of this fic, usually it's Alfred that has given the reader some love and have not neglected the poor thing and I was like,
What if Reader is still neglected by the batfam but Alfred gave them enough love so much that reader just decided to stay just for Alfred and Reader really just treated Alfred as their real Father or Grandfather.
Where Reader just let go of any expectation from getting attention from the others and just strive to make Alfred proud and happy.
How the turns have table
Imagine reader walking pass the others not bothering to greet them as they look for Alfred instead and other stuff.
Dick seeing them practically skipping as they clutch on a medal hanging on their neck.
"Woah hey!-...um whatcha got-". He tries to say but doesn't get any answers because you were busy muttering to yourself 'I got first place! I have to show this to Alfred!' as you giggle while looking down at the medal and sprint away when you see a glimpse of the butler at the distance.
How instead of begging for the others to train you and become a vigilante, you ask Alfred to train you for self-defense (especially the stuff from his spy days).
Jason was the first to arrive at the manor when the team heard about some intruders getting in but halted when he sees you tying up the unconscious thugs on the floor.
"Hey Alfred is this right?". You didn't pay them any mind when some of them pile in as you pay attention to Alfred who was praising you and giving you more good defense tips while you and him pull the unconscious people out.
How you spend healthy family time with Alfred by helping him in cooking and chores that earns you some knowledge of the recipes from his famous dishes.
Tim was trying to grab a coffee when he sees you having a fun time with Alfred as you skillfully prepare for dinner and actually have good laughs with him.
"Okay, then after I fold this I should add some paprika, right?". You ask the butler as he smiles at you while sipping on the tea that you made for him.
"Yes, you're correct once again young miss/master". He said while humming after drinking the tea indicating how good it is.
Tim can practically see you lighting up as you cheered a 'yes!' from Alfred's confirmation.
How you revolved your time and passion to Alfred and actually deciding that only Alfred is the one you should waste your time on.
Damian wonders around the manor when you and him bump into one another.
"And what are YOU doing walking around MY Father's manor?". He asks while glaring at you.
you just sigh and turn while clutching away the art supplies you bought so you can paint in the garden with Alfred.
"Walking away from you that's what I'm doing". you tell him as you turn the other way not even bothering to argue with the boy anymore.
How you do well in your studies and aim to get a good degree/phd and act like a proper man/lady but not because you want to keep up to being a Wayne but to see Alfred's proud face as he watches you stand on the stage as you show him your diploma/degree certificate.
Bruce decided to take a walk from sitting down for too long when he walk pass a framed picture on the hallway near Alfred's room and double takes when he sees you and Alfred standing together with while you were wearing a toga and cap holding not just any graduation certificate but a college one as the both of you look so happy and him seeing Alfred having that loving and well pleased expression something he rarely sees from Alfred after becoming the crusading dark knight.
Looking at the date he couldn't believe that it has been more that a few years since the graduation happened.
All of the family who used to ignore you suddenly took a different turn and started to try and get your attention but they fail to see that you already moved on from them and only cared about the one person that have literally loved you from the beginning.
Bonus:
Imagine Thomas and Martha Wayne was mysteriously revived for a day and met the family but was deeply disappointed to the others and took a special liking to reader because Alfred has said many good things about them and them especially getting many good degrees something that the rest haven't gotten yet or never bothered to get (this is my hot take because my family are hellbent on us cousins to finish school) and you know for a fact that Alfred is really REALLY proud of the kid that he raised preciously
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