#ted’s just not ready/wants to be in henry’s life

[humanthatexistsrn]

praying that if tedtrent is even in the cards they start building it up next episode with longing gazes, confused looks from other characters, sweet comments about one another, and just all around typical rom-com stuff.

[thebunnybabyblog]

Late night visit (snape x reader 18+)

Severus planned for a boring but peaceful night alone when a sudden intrusion caused for his night to be turned upside down 🖤

Word count: 5717

Category: smut and fluff

Warnings?: drunk sex but there is assumed consent as they are very much a couple in love but plz irl make sure your partner is safe! And the tiny use of daddy, only a few lines use the word so it’s not a daddy dom type fic! Anyway enjoy!

Severus settled into his favorite reading chair with a freshly brewed cup of tea. y/n had been on him to start taking time for himself and decrease his stress levels. So, she had popped into a fancy little tea shop in London on her last outing and purchased a container of lavender Earl gray tea the shop woman recommended. It was about 11 when he had finally decided to put down his work and take her up on her advice to relax and try to settle in with a cup and a book that wasn’t potions related.

He always felt guilty if he wasn’t working when he was alone, felt as if he was wasting time if it was for his enjoyment, but her words from earlier in the day passed through his mind. “Sevvie please, it’s Saturday, don’t drown in your research until you pass out.” Normally she would be by his side on a Saturday evening but tonight she was off with her girlfriends as one seemed to be getting married and she was tasked to help throw a bachelorette party.

She wasn’t much of a “party girl” so he was shocked when she had told him about it. Not like he didn’t want her to go or anything like that, she was entitled to a life outside of his dungeon, but more because she wasn’t a big drinker. She normally chose to be curled up like a cat lounging no matter if it was home alone or over at Severus’ place.

It took Severus about an hour to finally get comfortable and push down his looming guilt of not being productive to finally get into his novel. He had decided to pick out the Henry James novel The Turn of the Screw, a classic horror novel filled with psychological horror and madness. Really, a perfect book for him other than the textbooks that he liked to read as if he was a kid with comics.

As it was a shorter novel and him being such a fast reader it took him only about an hour and a half to finish. He looked over to the clock on the wall and it was almost 12:30. He wondered how y/n was getting on, “I hope she’s safe” had crossed his mind many times that night. Like before he was fine with her being out, she was an adult and he wasn’t her father but it didn’t stop him from being concerned. He wasn’t worried about her doing something wrong, he was worried about the people who lurked in the shadows. He bounced his leg nervously, just sat in his chair not knowing what to do now. He thought he might as well get ready for bed as he wasn’t going to get any real comfort until he saw her in the evening tomorrow.

He pushed himself up and out of his chair and made his way to the bathroom for his nightly rituals. He had changed out his clothes for his pajamas and was half way through brushing his teeth when he heard a crash from downstairs. He jumped by the sudden commotion and quickly spit and dropped his toothbrush in favor of his wand that was sitting on the pile of discarded clothes on the floor. Barreling down the staircase ready to blast whoever dared break into his home, he stopped dead in his warpath to be met with a very intoxicated y/a who had somehow managed to stumble in and fall directly into the table he had by the front door, knocking over books and a large vase in the process.

“Y/n! Good heavens are you ok?!” He exclaimed as he rushed down the last few steps. “What are you doing here? How did you even get here?” Many questions were being rushed to her drunken mind that she didn’t even know how to respond. He quickly crouched down to her side and noticed she had fat tears welling up in her eyes. “I…. I’m s-sorry *hick* I just wan*hick*ted to seeee you” she cried, slurring her words. He couldn’t help but soften as he heard her little pathetic cries below his looming figure.

He had actually never even seen her drink before so never knew what type of “drunk” she was. She was just so helpless before him. “I’m sorry I broke *hick* your table sevvie” she cried to him, now with her face hard into his chest. He liked to pretend that he hated it when she called him “sevvie” but he really loved it and hearing it coming from her drunk mouth made his heart beat fast. “Shhh my dear it is only a table, it can be easily picked up and fixed. No real harm done.” He consoled her with a gentle hand petting her head.

While he held her he looked up to the door and noticed the many locks were all still secured and he furrowed his brow in confusion. “Y/n… how did you even get in here?” He asked. “Please don’t be mad Sevvie…*hick* I just wanted to see you real bad” she pleaded into his chest. Right then he knew exactly what she had done. “Oh Merlin y/n, you didn’t apparate here did you? In such a drunken state, you could have sliced yourself in half!” He scolded, not meaning to come off as angry but he had a bad habit of not conveying his tone correctly. She didn’t even reply with words but with more, now louder, sobs into his shirt.

He knew that scolding her in this state was not the right thing to do and quickly tried to remedy the situation with more petting and soothing words “shhh it’s ok I’m sorry, Sevvie didn’t mean to yell, it’s ok shhhh.” They stayed there a few moments just rocked back and forth as her cries calmed and now were down to a few sniffles. As much as situations that were caused by big emotions made him feel completely uncomfortable, he couldn't help but to feel good in this moment. In her drunken state all she could think about was coming to him. He would do anything for her and if that meant sitting on the floor by the front door with books and pieces of vase scattered across the floor then that’s what he would do.

“Here, let's get you upstairs and cleaned up. We can worry about this mess in the morning.” He said in a smooth tone trying to not get her crying again. He stood up and held onto her arms to get her to her feet, she stumbled lightly and fell into his chest. He loved the close contact that continued to be bestowed on him. “I’m sorryyyyy!” She cried as she looked up to him with her tear stained cheeks clearly on the verge of crying again. He had his answer from before on what type of drunk she’d be and she clearly was an emotional one. He wondered if this was the reason she preferred not to drink around him at all.

“Darling it’s quite alright let me just help you up the stairs.” He said as he scooped her up in his arms bridal style. She went up in a fit of giggles tightly gripping her arms around his neck. It was good to hear her laugh instead of her continuing sobs. “See that’s much better I only want to hear your laughter the rest of the night, no more crying.” He said in a fake strict tone but sly smile. She looked up to him with bright cheeks. She nuzzled her head into his neck and they made their way up to the bathroom to get her cleaned up.

He didn’t know if her smeared makeup was completely due to her fits of crying or also because of whatever wild antics her and her girlfriends got up to earlier in the evening. He knew now was not the best time to be asking too many questions but he couldn’t help himself not to pry a tiny bit. He sat her down on the closed toilet and moved over to the sink and got a warm washcloth prepared. Moving to sit on the edge of the tub adjacent to her he began to gently wipe her face.

“So my love, did you have fun this evening?” He asked, trying to lighten the mood. “Oh yeah! We went to this bar that we ummm went to in college” she trailed off “mmmmmm this feels goooood” he couldn’t help but to chuckle as she pushed her face more into his touch. “You touch me soooo good Sevvie” she hummed. Severus’ eyes widened a bit and he cleared his throat. It’s not like she had never said that to him but still compliments and especially double meaning compliments made his heart race.

“Here, you sit right here and I'll bring you your pajamas. How does that sound?” He asked as he brushed some hair behind her ear. “Mmm yeah please sevviest snapeeee, hehehe sevviest like severus but sevvie hehe get it… ” She laughed as if it was the funniest joke on the planet. He just looked at her desperately trying to stifle the laughter that was bubbling inside him. “Yes, quite funny indeed my love.” he replied back to her. “oh!! The pink pair pleaseeeeeee!!” “Your wish is my command.”

He never thought in a million years would he see a drunk y/n disheveled and giggling, sitting in his bathroom at 1 am. He thought he’d have a pretty boring night filled with quiet solitude and unamusement but now he was striffiling through her drawer she claimed in his dresser for a particular pair of pajamas with a little white bunny plastered on the front. He had actually gotten these for her as a little gift when she was given the drawer and a key to his home. He was very nervous giving her that much access to his life but he grew to really miss her when she was gone and didn’t value the alone time as he once did.

He made it back to the bathroom with her retrieved items to be met with, nothing. She had made a break for it. “Y/n? Darling where have you run off to?” He turned around and continued down the hall to check his study for his vanishing act. It was easy enough to find her as all he had to do was follow the trail of clothes that led him to his office door. “Umm y/n are you in here?” He said as he slowly opened the door.

He was met with the sight of y/n standing in just a bra and panties warming herself by the still lit fireplace. “Oh Merlin…” he thought to himself as he saw her glowing in front of him. “Sevvie! There you are! I wondered where you ran off to!! You were gone for ages!!” She exclaimed while wrapping her arms enthusiastically around his neck. “You left me all aloneeeee after it took me so long to finally find you I’m hurt!” Y/n said in a huff

“What do you mean it took so long to find me?” He asked puzzled. “Welllll i accidentally ended it a few spots before i landed on your table” she looked up shyly “I’m gonna have to apologize to one very angry neighbor lady tomorrow.” At this point he couldn’t hide his laugh and sent out brighter laughter around the room. “Sevvieeeee don’t laugh at meeeeeee.” She squealed and she swung about.

He couldn’t help but to grab on to her waist for support and remembered just how almost nude she was. “My love, why did you undress?” He asked. “Ohhhhhh I donno. Maybe I didn’t wanna wait for you to do it for me.” She suddenly let go of his neck and pushed him back into his reading chair. He stumbled back in surprise as she had never been forceful with him before. Before he could make sense of the situation she had straddled his lap.

“What the? Y/n what has gotten into you?” He laughs out. She started peppering his face with little kisses, giggling with every single one. She was gripping the sides of his face and as she pulled away from the kisses she looked down to him with heart eyes. “My sevvie is sooooo beautiful. My beautiful handsome pretty boyfriend!” She squished his cheeks while she spewed out compliments. He couldn’t help but blush at her drunken proclamations and he loved hearing her call him her boyfriend.

“Sev I just love you so so so much why and how did I get so lucky! I just wanna kiss you forever and ever!” She exclaimed before she started another assault to his face. Severus couldn’t lie he was having a very hard time controlling himself at this very moment. He had his beautiful girlfriend straddling him in front of a roaring fire half naked shouting to the heavens on how lucky she was to be so in love with him.

His mind was filling up with many thoughts that were the opposite of putting her back into clothes but he still had a sting of guilt that was swaying him to stop. “My love as much as I am very madly deeply in love with what is happening right now, I think we should stop.” He said with a tone that implied he really hated having to say it. She looked down at him with her big sad eyes “but sevvieeee I’ve been dying all night to come back to you!” She protested, leaning down to rest her face by his neck. “I need you sooo so bad!” She whined into his ear, her breath tickling his skin. He felt a shiver wash over him and his skin covered in goosebumps to the sensation and her seductive tone.

He was struggling hard to fight off his urges to just push her right to the floor and devour her whole. “Listen my love you are drunk it would be improper to continue this as much as I absolutely would love too.” He said while again pushing her hair behind her ear. She couldn’t help but nuzzle into his soft touch. “But sevvie I thought about you all night even when I wasn’t even drunk yet.” She cooed. “Is that so?” He asked in a hum. “Yes I couldn’t stop thinking about you all night. With Shara getting married I couldn’t help but think about how I want to be locked away with you for the rest of my life. Just right here, placed in your big soft lap.” Her hips wiggled playfully against him and her breath danced along his neck.

He couldn’t help but close his eyes and lean his head back to the double stimulation. “My love you are treading dangerously close to me, not being able to control myself.” He warned her. “Maybe I want you to lose control on me?” She licked up his neck in a seductively slow pace finally resting on his earlobe with a nibble. She knew exactly what buttons to push to send him over the edge. Sober or drunk she would let this man do anything he wanted to her, just to be underneath him was a reward from the gods to her.

His hands met her waist and pulled her hips to press her hard against him. “Don’t ask for something you might regret darling.” She looked down to him and with fluttering eyes cooed “but sir you have never been a regret only a reward to me.” And brushed her lips against his. He was pushed to his limits, something in him snapped and his eyes went dark.

He flew to his feet with her still straddled around him. She squeaked in surprise. Before she knew it her back was against the wall and her lips were being assaulted with deep passionate kisses. Moaning against his lips, a fire was building up inside her, so was desperate and needy for his touch. He moved to her neck and left rows of kisses, nibbles and sucks on her sensitive skin. “Oh gods Sev it feels so good. I need you so bad it hurts Sev so so bad mmmm yes!” She was practically vibrating underneath him.

Moving away with her from the wall he made his way through the door. “Sevvieeeee where are we going?” She called out in his clutches. “I’m going to ravage you properly right on our bed.” She couldn’t help but feel her heart pound to the words “our bed”. She couldn’t wait so she continued the fiery kisses to his lips and neck as the stumbled down the long hallway.

They bursted into the bedroom and before she knew it she was thrown atop of the plush bedding. She looked up to her powerful man and felt a twinge between her legs. He was so dominant looking above her. His hair disheveled and lips plumb from their feverish kissing. “Please just do dirty things to me, I can't stand it” she said to his looming figure. Without words he hooked his slender fingers underneath her panties and pulled them down hard, leaving her pussy exposed to him. She couldn’t help but moan to the sudden exposure and roughness.

“Mmm I love it when you get rough with me.” She moaned “oh really? Is that how you like it my dear?” He kneeled down on the bed with her naked core under him and leaned down close to her ear. “You like it when daddy gets rough with you?” She could tell right then she was done for because Severus wasn’t one to call himself by other names especially something like daddy. All she could do was moan from him sultry words but this wasn’t good enough for him. If she wanted to play this game she was going to play by his rules.

“If you want daddy to play with you my love, then you need to speak when I ask you a question.” He snapped as he grabbed her chin to look at him. Her eyes were wide and the heat was past building, it was boiling out of her. “Mmm yes sir I’m sorry sir.” She said to him as pure and innocent as she could. “Such a good girl for me,” his hand began to travel down her side and he made circles around her thighs. So close to where she was practically begging for him to touch. “Now like I said before, do you like it when daddys rough with you baby?” “Oh gods yes!”

With that he shoved his rough fingers into her core and went to work on what she was so desperate for. The room quickly filled with her moans and the sound of her wet pussy sucking his fingers in. He sucked along her neck and moaned into her skin, the sounds she was already making were driving him wild. She was coming undone underneath him already. Without stopping the rampage on her core he moved his way down her body until he was in sight of the sweet prize between her legs.

He could now see just how wet and dripping she was, it was already leaving a mess on his bedding. He couldn’t stop himself from taking a taste of the sweet honey she was producing just for him. “Mmmm o….oh gods yes! Please yes! I’ve wanted you to eat my pussy all night! Please mmmmm” Her hands found their way to his head and pulled him even closer while bucking her hips into his mouth.

Her neediness was fueling his lust as if it was a fire to dynamite. He moaned hard around her clit lapping in all of her juices as his fingers continued their assault. His cock was pressed hard against the bed and he found himself bucking against the sheets just to find a morsel of relief. Her taste was driving him crazy, the way her moans were filling the room were sending him into overdrive. He just wanted to do anything for her at this moment to make her feel even an ounce of what she makes him feel.

He could tell she was close, her breathing was erratic, her hands couldn’t find a place to sit, her pussy was throbbing around him. She was in pure ecstasy and it was all because of him. “Sev oh gods Sev- I….I don’t know how much longer, oh fuck, I can hold!” Her hands shot back to his hair pulling him hard against her. He was so close now he couldn’t breathe but he didn’t care, he could die right then and there and he would die the happiest man in this galaxy.

He sucked her clit hard into his mouth and he hooked his fingers in just the right way that pressed the soft spot deep inside her. She was a wild animal underneath him; he had to hook his free arm around her thigh to keep her right where he needed her. “C….cum!! I’m gonna-” her sentence was cut short with a loud and desperate scream to the heavens.

He released her limp body from his grasp and removed his fingers but left a few more licks and kisses to her drenched core trying to take in as much of her as possible. “How was that my love? Did sevvie make you feel good?” He asked with a wet smile. She could only hum in response as her breath was ragged and she had turned to goo in his bedding.

He thought of getting rough with her for forgetting to speak when spoken to but he quickly decided to let it slid as she just looked so fucking cute. A complete and total mess sprawled out just for him. “My love, I'll be right back, let me get a washcloth for you.” He wasn’t even worried for his own release; he was happy to just give his angel what she was so desperate for.

He turned to retrieve a washcloth from the bathroom but was stopped when he felt a hand take a fist full of the back of his shirt. He was pulled down to the bed on his back, “oh no you don’t! You think I just wanted to cum? You are wrong, mister! I want your cum!” She shouted down to him as she began to straddle his still raging erection. The fabric of his pants were rough against her sensitive core as she ground her hips hard over him. Her hands placed against his chest to find support in her wild grinding.

Severus sucked the room's hot air in between his teeth and he clenched his eyes tightly as the sudden sensation of her above him was sending pin pricks all over his body. “You want my cum my love? Is that what you have truly been on the pursuit of?” He said almost breathlessly. “Well free me and take it all.” Practically begging as he needed this just as much as her.

She didn’t hesitate in her drunken haze to finally free the prize she had been pining after the entirety of the night. Earlier in the evening the idea of being married to Severus made her hair stand on end. Being together forever unrestricted from one another never having to leave to go sleep in her own bed somewhere else. She just wanted, no she needed, him for the rest of her days.

She looked down at his swollen, slick member with heart filled eyes as if she was looking at God themself. “Sevvieeeeee do you understand how deeply and madly obsessed I am with you?” She cooed, grabbing ahold of him by the base slowly churning upwards. A mix of her words and movements sent stars floating around his head. His hands found their way to the soft flesh of her thighs that kept his body tightly in place.

No matter how many times he would go to bed with her, the sight of her naked frame in soft candle light made him feel as if he was hallucinating. Always afraid one day he would awaken cold and alone in his bed, with no traces of her ever even existing. He couldn’t believe someone could actually be truly in love with him and crave his touch, soul and body; but here she was, placed upon him in complete and utter desire and love.

She had completely lubricated him with the copious amount of precum he had produced while pumping himself against the mattress. She looked down at his blushed face and like a feral animal pounced herself down on him without words. She was already so wet and ready for him she slipped down with no hesitation. “Gods… FUCK!” He yelled out to the heavens.

His eyes shut tightly and his head pressed hard into the sheets, he could feel her already pulsing around him. The feeling of her melting into him as they became one. Fully inside her, she ground her pelvis into him. She could feel his dark hair brush against her core, adding a tickling sensation to the already overwhelming pressure.

“God Sev you fill me up so full, I think about your cock all day when you’re not around.” She breathed out while looking down into his eyes. He didn’t even know how to respond, she was always so shy, normally, when they had sex he had to tease the words out of her. But here she was towering over him, freely offering up words full of lust straight from the deep parts of her brain, looking him right into his soul.

He felt like a shy teen boy having sex for the first time. He hadn’t felt like this in ages as he was always the dominant one and usually would only prefer that; but, right here right now, he would let this wild woman rip his heart out of his chest and serve it to him on a platter. His body was starting to just do things without his brain even telling it to.

Hands roamed her sweat kissed skin and found comfort along her waist as his hips started to buck into her. Her head shot back looking high up to the ceiling, her breasts bouncing hard now above him. Her wild moans echoed off the walls and through Severus, it’s as if he could feel them rumble around in his chest. Watching her filled with so much ecstasy, like she had become a little sex nymph.

“Se-sevvvvv p-pleaseeee!” She whimpered and whined. His eye began to twitch and something in him snapped. Gripping her waist, he spun her around to where her back crashed into the soft mattress below, taking his place on top. “Please what, my love? It seems I’m in need of some instruction tonight.” He said looking down at her with dark hooded eyes. “I ummm I-“ was all she could respond to the sudden shift of power between them.

Even in her alcohol fueled state she knew that she was done for now. All the teasing and power play would have eventually come back to bite her in the ass and she wasn’t complaining. It was her goal all along, to rile him up in ways she was too afraid of without the liquid courage flowing through her veins. “What? You were so vocal before, now you can’t even muster up a single sentence?” He said dangerously close to her ear. His hot breath sent shivers down her spine as it came in contact with the thin veil of sweat that formed on top of her skin.

“Please Severus! Please, I can't take it. I just want you to pound me until I'm a mess under you! Just fuck me already please!” She was met with no response other than him quickly lining himself back up to her and plunging himself deep into her core. She let out a scream that if someone would have passed by their window would probably thought something else was going on in there. He didn’t even let her adjust to him, he just gave her exactly what she was begging for.

Blow after blow was delivered at breakneck speeds to her cervix. Never relenting to give her a second to replenish the air that was being knocked out of her lungs. She was a pile of mush below him and yet she needed more of him. She needed to do all the things she was so afraid to ask for when they were normally intimate.

Without words, as she had no ability to use her voice anyway, reached up to his left wrist he had planted in the bed by her head. She slithered her fingers around him and brought his index and middle finger to her lips and slipped them into her mouth. He let out a low and desperate moan as she sucked and swirled her tongue around his digits.

Never breaking eye contact she slipped his fingers out of her mouth and placed his hand around her throat. His eyes widened at this, they had been rougher before but she had never initiated it, especially so boldly. Her face flushed red, eyes filled with desire and mouth opened, he was in heaven. To be looking down at this angelic being below him and she wanted him to devour her whole.

His grip tightened around her delicate throat as his erratic thrusts pounded into her, at this point he couldn’t stop his hips if he wanted to. “Fuck my love, why didn’t you tell me you wanted me this way?” His fingertips dug into the sides of her neck and tears began to form in her eyes. He could tell she was close even with no sounds now escaping her mouth as she started twitching around his cock.

“You like it when I’m rough with you huh? You like being a whore under me? Who knew you were such a slutty little minx, I guess I’m going to have to use you like this more often, how does that sound?” All she was able to muster was a sharp inhale and her eyes rolled to the back of her head. She couldn’t hold it any more, the way his hips were snapping against her had been stimulating her clit and the lack of oxygen was making her body foggy. Just being able to listen to the deep moans and grunts from the delectable man above her was enough to send her over the edge.

“Are you going to cum for me? Come around my cock for me, let me see how good this cock you’ve been dreaming about makes you feel.” He grunted as he rhythmically snapped his hips. His words were the straw that broke the camel’s back, her hips bucked and she practically elevated off the bed. Her sudden movement shifted his grasp and allowed her to fill the room with screams of passion as she came undone around him. He had never seen something so erotic under him and without warning shot load after load deep into her as he clenched and gritted his teeth like a beast above her.

After they had finished erupting, the room was only filled with huffed breaths. Severus had collapsed on to her and she could feel the ragged breaths in the nape of her neck. Even in her exhausted state she still managed to run her fingers through his sweaty matted black hair and revel in the fact that he was all hers. This tough and stern man who he showed to the world was not even close to being his true form. He was warm and filled with love and passion and she was ever so grateful that he chose her to be wrapped up in a sweaty mess with.

Her eyes filled with hot tears unexpectedly and she couldn’t stop them from flowing down her cheeks and into his hair. He didn’t notice at first but soon felt a cool sensation form in his hair. He looked up in shock as he saw her there quietly crying. Afraid that what he had just done was the cause he spoke in a frantic tone, “My love, whatever is the matter? I’m so sorry if I was too rough with you! Please tell me what I can do!” His large palm found her cheek and held her gently.

“Sevvie- I…I just love you so much! Being with you is everything I’ve ever wanted… I just wish I never had to leave.” She cried to him. His expression softened and his eyes filled with stars as he looked down at her sweet face. He let out a soft chuckle and said “My sweet is that all? I was worried I had overstepped. Do you really feel that way? Do you not want to have to leave?”

She looked up at him with tear filled eyes. “Well all you had to do was ask y/n, I haven’t wanted you to leave my side ever since you took over a spot in my dresser.” He smiled down at her, his fingers brushing away the tears that threatened to fall. “How about I run us a hot bath and we go get you cleaned up? How does that sound?” She nodded and he gently scooped her from the sheets and cradled her in his arms bridal style.

Out of the bedroom and off to the bathroom he couldn’t help but feel his heart swell at the thought of her wanting to intertwine her life with his. He had never planned on finding someone let alone living with them. His brain tried to fill him with doubt that this was just the liquor speaking for her but he knew her words were her own. He could tell just by the way she had wrapped herself around his body and hummed into his neck. This was true, this was real, this was love and with her here it turned this house into a home.

[ofstarsandvibranium]

Tour de Richmond

Fandom: Ted Lasso

Pairing: Jamie Tartt x F!Reader

Summary: Jamie gives you a tour of Richmond as well as gets to know you better. When you tell your cousin of his teammate's generosity, he suddenly becomes a bit hostile towards Jamie.

Meet Cousin McAdoo | Caffeine Crash

A/N: i looked up the bare minimum of the Richmond area. if anything is wrong, please let me know!

"So you've been around here, yeah?" Jamie asks, gesturing to the small shops that neighbors the cafe you were just at.

"A bit. Haven't really gone in any of these shops. But they're cute!"

"We can pop in a few if you'd like?" he suggests, pointing to a bookshop to your left.

"Another time."

Jamie shrugs, "Suit yourself."

He guides you away from the shops and towards, "The Richmond Green. The general gathering spot for people here. Kids like to play football here. There's sometimes cricket tournies here too."

You smile at the gathering of people scattered around the green acres. You see a small group of people doing yoga, three teens kicking a football around, people walking their dogs around. It's a very comforting atmosphere.

Jamie does his best not to be obvious about looking at you. He finds himself smiling to himself because you seem to find joy in the sights before you. He then turns to the view and realizes that he's never really enjoyed watching everything and everyone. He's always ran past them all during trainings and whatnot.

"Sorry, is it okay if we sit down and people watch for a little?"

"Uh, yeah, sure," he follows you to a bench where you both sit down.

You sit your drink and stare, "It's nice to just sit here and watch everything. I find it very calming. I don't get to do it much back home, though, always too busy with work and life."

"I don't think I've ever done this. I felt like I need to be on the go, ya know? Spend my time trying to get better, improvin' and all that."

You turn your attention to him, "You've never given yourself a break? What do you do during the off season? Don't you go on vacation?"

He shrugs, "I'm busy practicin'. I'll visit me mum and Simon sometimes, but they're doing their own travelin' a lot of the time," he nudges you with his shoulder, "What about you? Have you done any travelin'?"

"When my aunt married Isaac's uncle, that was the first time I travelled. They had a destination wedding in France. Wanted to be in the city of love and romance. That's where I met Isaac. We became really close through that trip. He's like my big brother. Always looking out for me." you take another sip of your drink and stand to your feet, "Okay. I'm ready to continue."

Jamie follows as you two continue to walk around the green. He points over in one direction, "Right there is the Richmond Palace. The Tudors lived there and some shit. Over there is the Richmond Theater. They do plays and stuff there."

You snort at Jamie's explanations, "Some tour guide you are! You're not going to give me a brief history on the town or these historic landmarks?" you give him a playful smirk.

He chuckles, "I'm sorry I didn't do me homework before offerin' you a tour. Here," he pulls out his phone, quickly typing something and clearing his throat, "Richmond was founded following King Henry VII's building in the 16th century of Richmond Palace.  The town and palace became particularly associated with Queen Elizabeth I , who spent her last days there," he lowers his phone down, smirking at you, "Better?"

You giggle, "You're funny. Are all of Isaac's teammates like you?"

"Nah. I'm the best outta all of them. I'm the funniest, best lookin'-"

"Most humble," you add with jest.

Jamie's smiling at you. He enjoys your company. He feels at ease around you and he's only spent maybe an hour in your presence. He likes this little back and forth you and he seem to be doing. It's nice. It's fun. Maybe-

A ringing comes from your bag and you swiftly pull your phone out, answering, "Good morning, sleepy head...I woke up early and thought I'd grab a coffee," you roll your eyes, "Don't be dramatic, Isaac, I'm an adult. I can handle myself...I'm not alone. Jamie." you sigh, "Yes, Jamie Tartt. Hold on," you pull the phone away from you and hold it out to Jamie, "He wants confirmation I'm really with you?"

Jamie takes the phone and presses it to his ear, "Yeah, what's good, man?"

"You better keep her safe, bruv. If anything happens to her-"

"Oi! Chill man! We're just walking around the fuckin' park."

"I'm serious, Jamie."

"We'll be fine. She's a grown adult, man. Let her be," he hands the phone back to you.

"If you're going to be like this my entire visit, I'm getting a hotel, Isaac...yes, I'm serious! ...again, I can handle myself. I'll see you soon. Bye!" you immediately end the call and take a long sip from your coffee.

"I get he loves you and all, but Jesus. I can practically see that vein in his head ready to pop out."

You burst out laughing, "I know exactly what you're talking about! Also the way he frowns when he's all serious. Like," you do your best impression of Isaac frowning and Jamie laughs, "That's pretty good."

"Thanks," you reply with a smile, "I'm sorry about Isaac, by the way. Like I said, he's like my big brother and he sometimes takes the role too seriously. But he means well."

"I know. He's a good guy."

Another hour goes by of you and Jamie chatting, him occasionally pointing out some other Richmond landmarks. It was a very pleasant morning spent. He walked you all the way back to Isaac's.

"Thank you, Jamie. This morning was fun."

"I'm glad. Sorry again for crashin' into ya like that."

You shrug, "It's okay. It led to a fun little adventure with you."

Jamie slowly backs away from you, "See ya around."

"See ya!" you wave as he's lightly jogging down the street. You continue to watch him as he fades from view. There's a little fluttering in your chest and you feel a bit giddy.

You open the door to Isaac's and you yelp in surprise as he's standing there, arms over his chest, looking very stern.

"Uh, hi?"

"Did Jamie try anything?"

"What? No! He just gave me a tour of the town!"

"So he didn't try to kiss you or nothin'?"

You roll your eyes, "Nothing happened, Isaac. And if something did, it's none of your business! Besides, I thought you said Jamie is a better person now."

"Doesn't mean he can date you."

"Whatever," you pass him and head to the kitchen to make yourself a snack.

[weclassybouquetfun]

Okay, what's Jason Sudeikis' finsta, because Hannah and Kola post birthday wishes to Jason on Instagram if he doesn't have an account?

Hannah even made a nice little montage set to Stevie Wonder's "As". Since I can't post more than one video, I've joined it with clips of Kola from CELEBRITY RACE AROUND THE WORLD and a post-show interview where he and his cousin (Kola confirmed elsewhere that his sister Yinka was to be his race partner, but she fell pregnant, so his cousin was the only one he could think of who wouldn't want to kill him) discuss their spending habits and Kola talks losing his father to dementia and his mixed race heritage.

My fashionable TED LASSO babies.

What are some of the other TED LASSO alums up to?

Brett Goldstein was recently at the Toronto Film Festival for his film ALL OF YOU, co-starring the recently single Imogen Poots.

Dapper Brett.

He's also still doing his comedy shows and hob-knobbing with other celebs.

Brett will be back in front of the camera soon when he pairs up with TED LASSO fan, Jennifer Lopez.

Phil Dunster is hopping back onstage - two times: one for a charity event "An Evening with Phil Dunster & Friends" which will benefits pediatric cancer. One of participants will be actor/comedian Rob Delaney who has talked about the loss of his little boy Henry from cancer.

and he will be in the play, "BRACE BRACE"

And that's not even talking about series two of DEVIL's HOUR and whenever series two of SURFACE drops.

Also doing the theater thing is Nick Mohammed who returns as Mr. Swallow for A CHRISTMAS CAROL-ISH.

-James Lance returns for THE FAMOUS FIVE. There will be two films instead of three, this time.

Uncle Quentin hair at the ready.

-Stephen Manas continues to be the most fascinating man and is just living life, coast to coast, country to country.

[itsclydebitches]

Did I just saw with my own two eyes an episode, where Ted’s mother shows up and acts in this very disinterested “I am not interested in you and your achievements whatsoever, you are not even the main attraction of this trip and I’m going to tell you that in this indirect passive-aggressive way, but at the same time I AM here because I am displeased with you, now guess what’s wrong while I tell lies about you to your friends and colleagues. The lies that are kind of nice but also lies and it makes you feel uncomfortable and I do not care”.

And then Ted goes back to Kansas where he can’t have his career, his friends, but he will be in contact with Michelle (who dates their couple therapist, and that is something that makes Ted very uncomfortable) and mom???? Like? And Henry never asked him to return and in fact is not suffering at all. Henry is shown to be fine. He never has meltdowns when he leaves London, he doesn’t express any hurt feelings towards Ted. They seem to just have an unconventional arrangement and Henry misses Ted, but doesn’t feel neglected. It also seems like his mom just believes that Ted should be home with his son, an unassuming father who doesn’t have public panic attacks and causes her embarrassment??? Because the way she showed him the clippings from the papers?? Boy! I don’t know how else to interpret that tbh

Ted has just achieved one of the best moments in his career and his mom actively and purposefully poisoned that moment for him, this whole thing is being contrasted to Jamie’s mom, I just don’t believe that Ted is going to stay in Kansas. That can’t be.

Also I feel like the tedependance tinfoil hat is not a tinfoil hat at all because actually! Ted having suppressed a huge part about himself (bisexuality), and not being able to live his life because of his roots works really well here.

It's precisely readings like this that make me hope a permanent Kansas ending can't be possible and likewise believe that if that is our ending... Ted Lasso will have failed in a pretty significant way. Even just a few episodes ago I was fully on team, "I 100% don't want Ted to return to Kansas, but if he does I accept that this was an ending long in the making and just because I personally dislike it doesn't make it bad." Now though? They've introduced so much lately -- and emphasized so much else from past seasons, like Ted's rocky relationship with Michelle/Jake -- that I just can't read Kansas as a positive ending for Ted anymore. It's not just me and my preferences anymore, I don't think that ending fits the show, period. Is, in fact, a betrayal of everything Ted Lasso has argued for.

Ted's mom was a big part of that feeling this episode, as you've nicely laid out, anon. It's no coincidence that in an episode titled "Mom City," Ted's story with his mother does not run parallel to Jamie's (unfailingly supportive, knows him better than he knows himself, Jamie comes to her when he's ready, an act of agency that Dottie doesn't allow Ted), but rather closer to Jamie's dad. Which I don't mean as a way to say, "She's abusive!" but rather the more nuanced take that we end the episode on: You can forgive someone while still acknowledging that they've hurt you so badly. Ted, normally so polite with his "Oh boy"s and "Darn"s and "Shucks"s really says it all with a string of direct, angry, "Fuck you"s. That level of anger and disappointment will not be magically fixed with one dinner. By continually introducing Kansas-aligned characters that make Ted uncomfortable at best, uncharacteristically angry at worst, it HEAVILY sells the idea that the space itself is no longer healthy for him. He can slowly rebuild those relationships -- and arguably should -- but that's not the same thing as throwing himself back into their mix. Allowing Ted to stay in London with visits from his family is akin to Jamie remaining removed from his dad, but sending him a text on his own terms.

As for Henry, yeah. I've been arguing for ages that Henry does not act like someone who feels abandoned and the few arguments I've seen fans bring up aren't very persuasive to me. Basically, framing every normal child struggle as a result of Ted's distance. Henry being a short-term bully is not automatically some cry for attention tethered to an absent dad -- there's no evidence for that, especially when Henry uses Ted's own teachings to realize his mistake and apologize -- and him being sad with Beard is because he's finally seeing his dad and Ted is ignoring him. I'd be sad too if I hadn't seen someone in a while and they were spiraling instead of hanging with me. That doesn't mean I need them to drastically change their life to accommodate me in new ways. Henry as a character needs to be allowed to make mistakes without that automatically reflecting badly on what Ted has chosen for his own happiness and mental health. Anyway, yeah, Henry has consistently been shown to likewise be happy, well-adjusted, and fully engaged with Ted through visits/over Zoom, so this claim that Henry needs his dad in this way doesn't jive with three seasons of Henry flourishing through Ted's parenting this other way.

All of which means that, frankly, I think we should take Dottie's "Your son misses you" with a serious grain of salt. That's a damn broad statement because of COURSE Henry misses Ted and vice versa, but that basic reality of missing people in life when you're separated from them doesn't mean he misses him in the way that I think Dottie is implying: he's hurting to an extent that you need to fix in this specific way (moving back home). Beyond everything you've listed about how Dottie makes Ted uncomfortable, I think it's significant that she has Very Traditional Ideas about how this family should function. She couches it in a lot of humor and starts to demonstrate a bit more open-mindedness at the end of the episode, but we're still left with:

Telling all Ted's friends that he's done Amazing, Unique, Super Cool Things That are Objectively Impressive. To be clear, I found her interactions with the team as funny and surface-wholesome as we were supposed to, but I do think there was this underlying implication that Dottie is not as satisfied with Ted's choices as Ted himself is, so she 'accidentally' makes up stories that make him seem 'better' than he actually is. This is compounded by what you've pointed out, about how she only gives a cursory congratulations for this MONUMENTAL achievement. Compare that to Jamie's mom absolutely loosing her shit in support of him.

She brings the 'gift' of the clippings -- Ted should be GRATEFUL for this. Only a terrible son would be upset by a mother keeping track of his accomplishments! -- which not only include the headlines about the panic attacks, but she's situated them front and center, ensuring they're the first thing Ted sees. Combine that with her 'concerned' question about whether he's still getting panic attacks and you have this strong implication that Ted Is Bad For Showing Weakness. Men don't do that. The Lassos don't do that. They bury things in positivity, even the suicide of a father/husband. The fact that Ted immediately lies and says the panic attacks are gone says it all. He knows trying to explain this to her is a lost cause.

Speaking of mental health, are you really seeing that therapist? Oh, well, good for you, I guess. Me? No, no, no, I would never see one. I'm going to be suspicious of it to the point of implying that it's a flaw to need one. This is the one point where I cut Dottie a lot of slack because Ted himself went through the same arc of needing to accept the benefits of therapy, but we're nevertheless seeing where he (in part) got that biased perspective from.

There are a lot of throwaway lines that paint Dottie as a Good Traditional Mother, very much in contrast to Ted Lasso's queer, open-minded, gender roles-bending world. She continually reminds him that she is NOT having sex, it's those Australians. Why-ever would an older woman be having loud, enthusiastic sex? (Compare that to Rebecca nearly getting it on with the boat guy, a celebration of romance and sexuality for older women.) Dottie can't take the bed. That's not the polite thing to do. She needs to be coaxed into accepting even the simplest of care while, simultaneously, expecting Ted to offer it despite the inconvenience. (If I bring up the awful hostel I've been staying in you'll offer to let me crash here instead, right?). That's one of the big differences between Ted and his mother: Ted has a lot of trouble accepting help, but honestly doesn't expect anything in return for the intense kindness he doles out to others. In contrast, Dottie has trouble admitting that she's accepting help, she pretends to do the nice thing while waiting for someone to insist strongly enough that she do what she's wanted to do from the get-go, then she's off the hook because, well, they basically made her. Will Dottie go to a football game like Henry and Higgins and Rebecca and Keeley and Bex and all the other emotionally open characters, screaming for her son in the midst of chaotic action? Oh no. No, no, no, that's not for her. She'll just stay home and do the Proper Thing of making a home-cooked dinner for her little boy... while making him feel guilty about that by sending texts about how now she kinda does wish she was at the game. The conclusion to their moment of honesty and growth is Ted (a man, the child in the relationship) serving her (the woman, the mother) for once, which I think highlights how much of the Good Traditional Kansas Woman mask Dottie has learned to maintain.

All of which is to say that we've been introduced to a loving but incredibly flawed mother who puts a LOT of stock in old-school values and appearances. There's no way that this all doesn't extend to her views on Henry, her grandson. Right now, Dottie is not someone who can fully embrace Ted's nontraditional style of life (divorced, in therapy, taking some risks like drinking not-actually-drugged tea) or parenting (long-distance, "It takes a village"). She doesn't outright reject Ted's choices, but she does spend the entire episode being passive-aggressive, even manipulative at times, to make it very clear that she does not approve of all this. When she says, "Your son misses you" it reads as a very biased view of the situation, driven by the idea that no child could possibly be happy without that nuclear family living their white-picket fence life in the good old US-of-A. Ted needs to move back to Kansas not because of Henry, but because that's what Good Fathers Do. I don't think Dottie should be seen as a reliable source here for what Henry actually wants or needs. She certainly hasn't been a reliable source for Ted.

Which -- as said numerous times -- paints Kansas in an incredibly negative light. We haven't actually seen Ted in Kansas on the show, so our understanding of his relationship with that place is filtered through the people living there. Michelle, Jake, and Dottie are all emotional landmines that Ted still needs a lot of time to diffuse and Henry is written as perfectly content with their arrangement. If Ted permanently goes back to Kansas I'm really gonna be ????????????????????????????????? about it.

[myhauntedsalem]

The Last Words of 30 Famous Serial Killers

Some killers have offered sincere apologies for the heinous offenses they committed. Others’ final words were filled with anger and resentment, while some seemed indifferent. A few of the most interesting final words are quizzically strange rantings.

What are the last words of some of the most famous serial slayers? The last words on this list come from the mouths of some of the most heinous, dangerous people in human history.

James French

“Hey, fellas! How about this for a headline for tomorrow’s paper? ‘French Fries.'” (August 10, 1966)

James French has the distinction of being the last person to be executed in Oklahoma, via electric chair

Carl Panzram

“Hurry up, you Hoosier bastard. I could kill 10 men while you’re fooling around.” (September 5, 1930)

Peter Kurten

“Tell me. After my head has been chopped off, will I still be able to hear, at least for a moment, the sound of my own blood gushing from the stump of my neck? That would be a pleasure to end all pleasures.” (July 2, 1931)

Peter Kurten, AKA “The Vampire of Dusseldorf,” drank the blood of at least one person.

John Wayne Gacy

Kiss My Ass (May 10, 1994)

Thomas J. Grasso

“I did not get my Spaghetti O’s. I got spaghetti. I want the press to know this.” (March 20, 1995)

Tom Ketchum

“I’ll be in Hell before you start breakfast, boys. Let her rip.” (April 26, 1901)

Jeffery Dahmer 

“I don’t care if I live or die. Go ahead and kill me.” (Novemer 28, 1994)

H.H. Holmes 

“Take your time. Don’t bungle it.” (May 7, 1896)

Dr. H.H. Holmes was one of the first American serial killers.

Albert Fish 

“I don’t even know why I’m here.” (January 16, 1936)

In the 1920s, Albert Fish claimed that he had slain at least 100 children.

Ted Bundy

“I’d like you to give my love to my family and friends.” (January 24, 1989)

The exact number of women Ted Bundy offed or hurt in the 1970s is unknown, but some say the number is somewhere in the 100s.

Marcel Petiot 

“Gentleman, I have one last piece of advice: Look away. This will not be pretty to see.” (May 25, 1946)

Petiot was a French doctor who was only found out when the remains of 23 people were found in his Parisian home during WW2.

Steven Timothy Judy 

“I don’t hold any grudges. This is my doing. Sorry it happened.” (March 9, 1981)

Steven Judy slayed a woman and her three children in 1979.

William Bonin 

“I would suggest that when a person has a thought of doing anything serious against the law, that before they did that they should go to a quiet place and think about it seriously.” (February 23, 1996)

William Bonin’s habit of dumping cadavers near freeways earned him the nickname Freeway Killer.

Amelia Dyer

“I have nothing to say.” (June 10, 1896)

Dyer is believed to have slain 400 children during a 20-year period in Victorian England.

Peter Manuel

“Turn up the radio and I’ll go quietly.” (July 11, 1958)

Manuel was an American-born Scottish man who is believed to have slain from nine to 18 people during the 1950s.

Francis Crowley

“You sons of bitches. Give love to Mother.” (January 21, 1932)

Francis Crowley went on a three-month spree that ended when he was sent to the electric chair.

Angel Maturino Resendiz

“I want to ask if it is in your heart to forgive me. You don’t have to. I know I allowed the Devil to rule my life. I just ask you to forgive me and ask the Lord to forgive me for allowing the devil to deceive me. I thank God for having patience in me. I don’t deserve to cause you pain. You do not deserve this. I deserve what I am getting.” (June 27, 2006)

Reséndiz left people’s cadavers near railroad tracks.

Fritz Haarmann

“I repent, but I do not fear death.” (April 15, 1925)

Fritz Haarmann of Germany, active in the years following WWI, became known as the Vampire of Hanover because he would bite through people’s throats.

Ned Kelly

“Such is life.” (November 11, 1880)

Ned Kelly was often considered a folk hero in Australia.

Donald Henry Gaskins

“I’ll let my lawyers talk for me. I’m ready to go.” (September 6, 1991)

Donald Henry Gaskins was known as the Meanest Man in America for slaying at least 100 people, most of them hitchhikers, from the 1950s to the 1980s.

Israel Keyes

“Okay, talk is over, words are placid and weak. Back it with action or it all comes off cheap. Watch close while I work now, feel the electric shock of my touch, open your trembling flower, or your petals I’ll crush.” (December 2, 2012) 

Israel Keyes took his own life; the words are from his final note.

John George Haigh

In a letter to his girlfriend, Barbara: “It is difficult to say farewell under these circumstances, but you will understand that you will always be in my thoughts. You know I have been proud of our association: it has always been an honourable one. I shall remember your great kindness and devotion. Now I must leave you.” (August 10, 1949)

In the 1940s, John George Haigh dissolved six women’s cadavers in acid.

Kenneth McDuff

 “I am ready to be released. Release me.” (November 17, 1998)

After his sentence was commuted in 1989, Kenneth McDuff killed again before being detained in 1992.

Carroll Cole

“It’s all right.” (December 6, 1985)

Carroll Cole possibly committed acts of cannibalism

Raymond Fernandez and Martha Beck

“I wanna shout it out; I love Martha! What do the public know about love?” – Raymond Fernandez (March 8, 1951)

“My story is a love story. But only those tortured by love can know what I mean […] Imprisonment in the Death House has only strengthened my feeling for Raymond….” – Martha Beck (March 8, 1951)

In the 1940s, Fernandez and Beck would place personal ads in newspapers with the intent of taking money from the women who replied.

Aileen Wuornos

“I’d just like to say I’m sailing with the rock, and I’ll be back like Independence Day, with Jesus, June 6th. Like the movie, big mother ship and all. I’ll be back.” (October 9, 2002)

From 1989 to 1990, Aileen Wuornos terminated seven men, with the excuse that each of them tried to rape her.

James Allen Red Dog

“I’m going home, babe.” (October 9, 2002)

James Allen Red Dog had been connected to at least five murders

Myra Hindley

According to the Catholic priest who gave Hindley last rites, “The last conversation she had before she died concerned her mother. She just expressed concern for her mother – but I will not say exactly what she said.” (November 15, 2002)

Hindley, with her lover Ian Brady, shocked 1960s England when they killed five children.

Earle Nelson

“I am innocent. I stand innocent before God and man. I forgive those who have wronged me and ask forgiveness of those I have injured. God have mercy!” (January 13, 1928)

During a two-year period in the mid-1920s, Earle Nelson felled 22 women, most of whom were landladies he approached about rooms they wanted to rent.

Sean Flanagan

“I love you.”

Sean Flanagan terminated two gay men in Nevada, claiming he was doing “good for… society.” (June 23, 1989)

[vole-mon-amour]

3x12, Jamie edition, part 3.

You fucking idiots, both of you. "He's fine." I'M GONNA BEAT YOUR ASS, ROY KENT.

Coffee scene <3 Just make out already! Jfc!

Keeley is so sweet & deserves someone new who will take out all the drama of her life and bring only joy and no jealousy. Drop both Roy and Jamie, find yourself some Boss Ass Bitch for your happily ever after.

But hey, at least they're gonna talk! Hopefully. It was due, like, a couple of weeks ago. (Me who actually ships them) DROP THEIR ASSES, KEELEY.

Both? Neither?

LMAOO. She's the exact savage that we need. "Oh, for real? Me? I actually get to choose???" It's like I said, they sat down bickering without considering what KEELEY actually wants. Drag their asses.

TRY-ANGLES. Jamie is so cute, ugh.

The entire episode I'm thinking about Phil's "People might think they're having a wild affair" so I'm more than happy about this outcome. I'm actually ready to accept OT3 or all single, it's all good. Go spend the night together again, just like Amsterdam, but get lost in each other's arms for real this time.

When everybody started barking after Roy asking if he can be a Diamond dog, the door closed, and Jamie got really curious. hehe.

"A care package from Zava"

Heh. Who is that guy constantly next to Jamie? What's his name? They're obviously friends.

Both laughing and crying. Stop it. ;_;

Colin crying, but we know it was emotional for the actors too. The dude in the back is full on wailing.

"Richmond appear to be crying. Interesting strategy." That strategy is called "I love you all very much" ;_____;

Hands off, asshole. Honestly, the rules of football... Barely touching, apparently, doesn't count.

I love watching Jamie play. I love knowing that Phil really loves football and enjoys filming this.

It's the second (or the third?) time this happens this season. When is Ted going to adopt Jamie? ;_; I mean, he already has a stepdad, but he can have two wonderful ones as a treat.

JAMIE STILL HAS THE BOOK AND IT LOOKS LIKE HE READ IT MANY TIMES. Or at least carried around with him everywhere. Weeping.

"And Tartt finally puts it away" I literally started sheering with tears streaming down my cheeks. I feel like only this show can do it.

Henry is me. Henry is all of us Jamie lovers. God, he could've moved to England and have a constant access to Jamie. Jamie would've loved spending time with him.

Not Jamie's leg AGAIN, but that expression <3 Jamie is THE best. And that smile. That tongue. Having thoughts. :')

Jamie giving up the ball, giving it to Dani to score? TEAM PLAYER. My heart is so full of love for Jamie.

Stay mad about it. x)

[rafferty3207]

cuddles with ted that turn into making out :)

So this is a lovely and simple prompt (thank you anon!!) but because I am a menace I made it into a slightly angsty post S3 headcanon - anyway, hope you enjoy this quick one!

Easy

warning: angst + smooches, be prepared

A/N: I can't figure out how to get good pics on Tumblr to save my life I'm sorry, gif not mine

As you lay in the crook of his arm, feeling the trademark blue wool of his jumper between your fingers, you hated how easy it all was.

He left, remember. He left you alone. 

You looked up at his face, his eyes still fixed to the screen. He left, but he's back now. He's here with you.

He could leave again. 

You ignore this little voice. It was the same voice you'd been hearing all those months you would cave and text him while you were drunk in Soho and he was still in America. It was the same voice you heard when he told you Henry had gotten into a prestigious school in London and your heart started racing. It was the same voice you heard when he asked if you wanted to hang out the exact same time you found out he was coming back to Richmond and you replied almost immediately.

You had waltzed into his flat and drunk his wine and cuddled on the couch watching a movie as if the last six months hadn't happened at all, and you were determined you were going to ignore that little voice.

However, Ted had finally noticed you staring.

"You alright darlin'?"

You bite your lip.

"Yeah, I'm just warm." You sit up away from him and shrug your jumper off. His eyes suddenly become glued to your shirt.

"You kept my jersey."

"Of course I did. Just because the man who gave it to me broke my heart, doesn't mean I could throw away a perfectly good t-shirt."

You suddenly look up, your hand clasped over your mouth.

"Sorry, I didn’t mean that -"

Ted held his hands up.

"No, that seems more than fair." He inches closer. "Although I never meant to break your heart, you know." He gently strokes your cheek. "I truly hope you can forgive me."

You took a deep breath and closed your eyes.

“Of course I forgive you Ted. But forgiveness is not the same as trust. I need to know you won’t leave again. I can’t just be your London fling.”

His hand creeps a little under your shirt until it lightly touches your bare waist. You breath out slowly and shakily as he places his forehead against yours.

“I understand, but you must know I never stopped thinking about you darlin’. I wanted you with me but I wouldn’t ask you to leave your life behind, in the same way I know you didn’t ask me to.” His head dips to the crook of your neck, where he places a gentle kiss. “But I have never stopped wanting you.” Your hand squeezes his thigh. “And I don’t want to scare you off right away, but please know that I will want you for the rest of my life, when you’re ready for it." Your mouth drops open. He pulls his hands away. "Of course, it is totally up to you, no pressure!” At this you finally laugh, before pulling him back back to your face.

“Sounds like a deal.”

He pulls you in, large warm hand on the side of your neck, for a long, slow kiss. You kiss him back, but with more fervour, scrambling to sit on top of him. Eventually he pulls away again and looks you up and down.

“Now I’m afraid to say you are legally obliged to take that jersey off as you are too sexy in it.” 

“Oh yeah, and what will happen if I don’t take it off?”

“Well then I will simply be forced to take it off you.” He pins you to the couch and you erupt in a fit of giggles. Maybe things were too easy. But this time, you didn’t care.

[daydreamgoddess14]

Rebecca Welton's F*** You, Ted Tour

MASTERLIST

I have literally no idea where this came from. It stated out as a lighthearted homage to Hannah Waddingham's fantastic social life but it grew just a little bit bigger and a bit more angsty! Ahh well there's a happy ending at least!

~~~~~~

Rebecca Welton and friends having fun in the VIP area at Glastonbury watching Elton John. 

Cowboy boots. She was wearing fucking Cowboy boots and shorts. With glittery face paint across her cheekbone and Keeley Jones under her arm. She looked free, unburdened, wild. Ted felt all of his blood rush south. Fortunately he was in his car. And alone. 

A week later, another sighting. 

Rebecca Welton attends the Men's European Under-21 Championship Final at the Adjarabet Arena, Georgia. Ms Welton saw the England team beat Spain and is no doubt looking at potential players to join AFC Richmond.

Seeing her at a football match, Higgins by her side was like being at home again. He pushed the thought away. 

Another week later, a veritable flurry of sightings. 

Saturday: Rebecca Welton attends Wimbledon with friends. She's pictured here with the AFC Richmond Captain, Isaac McAdoo and his sister.

God, that white sundress was something else. He scrolled through picture after picture of her laughing and pulling faces until his vision swam and he couldn't see any more. 

Sunday: Rebecca Welton attends the British Formula 1 Grand Prix at Silverstone with her Goddaughter. 

Formula 1? Formula fucking 1? He had no idea that she was even a fan of the sport until she was interviewed on the track and he had to hear her voice, hear her laugh. And goddammit if she didn't suddenly spill stats from her gorgeous mouth. 

"Are you having fun Ms Welton?"

"I am. Looking forward to a fantastic race and hopefully a British winner on the podium."

"And are you ready for the new season in a couple of weeks? When do you plan to announce the new gaffer?"

"Ready and raring to go. New manager will be announced next week."

She was then pictured giving Pep Guardiola a warm hug and the pair posed for a photograph together. She knew exactly what she was doing. 

Sunday: Rebecca Welton attends Bruce Springsteen at BST Hyde Park with AFC Richmond Coach, Roy Kent and Head of KBPR, Keeley Jones.

How the heck did she go from Formula 1 to Bruce Springsteen in the space of an afternoon?! She was with Keeley again, and Roy. The women pictured with hands in the air, dancing wildly and singing along. One of his biggest regrets was not asking her to dance more. 

Apart from anything else, she must be exhausted. He hadn't really noticed her in the media much when he’d lived in the UK, but now, she seemed to be everywhere. Every weekend a different sporting event or gig. In light of his departure, Ted had taken it upon himself to avoid contact as much as possible. To put up the fences around his heart - he learned it from the best. But here she was, week in and week out making it impossible. 

She was on the 'Rebecca Welton Fuck You, Ted Tour'. 

He could have made life easier on himself, sure. Turned off the Google alerts for her name (former married name, and maiden name). Maybe uninstalled Instagram. But that all seemed a bit extreme. He could do this. He could go cold turkey. He definitely, absolutely did not need to look at every single notification. And the phantom notifications as well when he was so sure he'd heard his phone ping (it hadn't). He'd then have to check the volume was up on his phone - wouldn't want to miss a call or message from Henry (he never did). The worst bit was that Henry was seeing the same posts and articles.

“Dad! Are you kidding me - we could have seen Elton John?!”

“Dad, dad, dad! She went to a FINAL and the England team WON and we could have been there!”

“Fast. Cars. Dad. I could have had such a badass summer, instead I’m still in boring Kansas!” Ted had explained his reasoning for coming home to both Henry and Michelle but both seemed so… disappointed in him. Certainly more disappointed than Dottie had been during her visit - and that was really saying something. 

“We were just so excited for a really fun summer, Ted. That’s all. I’d booked an AirB&B between Richmond and the city, Henry and I were picking out shows to go and watch. I’d signed up for pre-release Wimbledon tickets - turns out I didn’t need to, I could have just asked Rebecca! We had so much planned.”

“Oh.”

“Oh? Oh, you move over 4000 miles back to the US without consulting me and all I get is ‘oh’?”

“I didn’t realise I had to consult my ex wife in order to move closer to my son.”

“You know that’s not what I mean. Don’t twist my words because you’re angry with yourself for leaving and angry with Rebecca for daring to live her life.” He looked up, shocked. “I’ve seen her out and about the last few weeks - having fun. Bit of a contrast to when I last spoke to her, when I could barely understand what she was saying she was crying so hard.”

“I’m sorry, what? When did you speak to her?”

“I shouldn’t have-”

“Michelle, when?” He stressed.

“You were on the flight back here. She said she was at the airport and she wanted to apologise to me. She said she’d tried so hard to make things work for you in both countries. She asked me to look out for you once you got back. Wanted me to really make sure that you’d be ok. She was worried about you, she was… heartbroken, Ted. Utterly heartbroken.” Ted managed to find a kitchen chair before his legs gave out. “You foolish man. Did you really not have a clue?” He shook his head. “And now you’re torturing yourself every time she’s photographed leaving the house.”

“I had no idea she’d called you.”

“She didn’t want you to know. She just wanted to be certain that you’d have someone here to check in on you. I guess she knew you’d struggle with being away from the club. She clearly knows you better than you know yourself.” He gave an empty laugh. “But she’s not ok, Ted.”

“She looks it, she looks incre-. Never mind, she looks fine.”

“You were right the first time, she does look incredible. She’s also still heartbroken. Look at the pictures of her, Ted. Really look at her. That smile never reaches her eyes, she’s hanging by a thread.” She patted him on the shoulder and left him alone. He reached for his phone and scrolled back through. Michelle was right, he really concentrated, noted the tension in her shoulders, the dullness in her eyes, the automated smiles, and made a decision. 

“Chelle, I need to-”

“Yes you do, Ted. You need to get on that 'Fuck You, Ted Tour' before the tickets sell out.” He looked incredulous. “What? That’s what she’s doing! Hoping that keeping busy and mentally saying ‘fuck you’ to you will heal her. Now pull yourself together and book a damn flight.”

“What about Henry, what about you?”

“We’re fine, we’ll figure it out. I’ll book something to join you next week and we’ll work it out once your brain is not completely at capacity.”

“My mom?”

“Should never have made you feel the way she did. The only person who can confirm what kind of dad you are, is Henry and guess what? He loves you, he’s happy and he wants you to be happy. That’s all there is, your mom’s opinion on this counts for nothing.”

He was at the airport before Henry was out of school.

From his flight, he arranged a place to stay and let Beard know of his impromptu visit. It took what felt like forever for a reply to come through. Eventually, he responded with a to the point: The boss is at a Bon Voyage party this afternoon for the Lionesses before they travel to Australia for the World Cup. It’s being held at the Sky Gardens. Keeley has called them up and added you to the guest list. Helpfully, Beard had also included a link with the location. Ted hadn’t specified a return date, and Beard didn’t ask. He stared at the invite email, which had just landed in his inbox. Go get her. The follow-up message arrived, interrupting his pensive freaking-out. He landed at Heathrow in jeans and a button-down shirt. Hardly the right attire for a red carpet event for women’s football. He sent a vaguely panicked message to the Diamond Dogs message thread and received a reply from Trent: It’s not about the clothes, it’s about the man. Stop stalling and go. So he did. Straight onto the train, straight into the city and then, following the directions on his phone to the looming skyscraper, which appeared to lean down to look at him. With the Sky Garden closed for the event, there was no queue, so he made his way to the front desk and handed them his phone with the invite on screen. They cross checked his information with their list and he was directed to the elevators with an “I’m sorry sir, the event has already started but you’re welcome to go straight up to join the attendees.”

The view was spectacular. Not the view across the Thames of the Shard, though that was impressive. The view of the who’s who of women’s football. England Lionesses milled around talking to club owners, managers and other players. Sponsors and executives filled the gaps and servers held trays of champagne aloft. He could already see Rebecca through the crowd, he could always see her. She hadn’t seen him yet. He made his way through the sea of people until he was spotted by the person she was speaking with. He had no idea who they were, but they knew him.

“Coach Lasso! What a pleasant surprise!” Rebecca, who still had her back to him, spun around so fast that the heel of her shoe twisted underneath her, sending her slipping backwards. He dashed out an arm to catch her at the waist and used his other hand to pull her up to standing. He could feel her trembling in his hands, she let go as soon as she was upright and able to, her eyes not moving from him.

“Well, I just had to see off the Lionesses and wish them luck for the World Cup.”

“I’m so glad you came. Rebecca, we’ll catch up later.” The woman patted her arm gently and left them alone. As alone as they could be in a room of a couple of hundred people. Rebecca grabbed a glass of champagne from a passing waiter and chugged it. 

“Crushed it, boss.” He murmured just loud enough for her to hear.

“What. The fuck. Are you doing here?” She hissed. He hesitated.

“I’m not entirely sure. Can we go somewhere? Can we talk?”

“You can talk here. I’m busy.”

“I noticed. You’ve had a stacked out few weeks. Tennis, Formula 1, gigs.”

“Keeping tabs on me? I had a husband who did that once upon a time.”

“I’m worried about you.”

“You don’t need to be. I’m on my 'Fuck You, Ted' pity party where I go around and live my life like you didn’t leave a big gaping fucking hole in it.”

“I’ve been refering to it as the 'Rebecca Welton Fuck You, Ted Tour'.” He shrugged, she stared. “I’m worried about you,” he repeated. “Your smile ain’t the same, you’re tense.”

“Fuck you, Ted. These things happen when the person you love decides to walk away without even trying. Without even considering other options."

"I didn't have another option."

"Yes, Ted, you did. But you were so hellbent on being right that you chose not to see it. So now you have to live with the consequence of being wrong and seeing the truth. It's the shitty equivalent of having your cake and eating it."

"God, I love it when you talk like this. You're incredible."

"Do you know what, Ted? I know I am. It's taken a lot for me to see it, and at first, you were the biggest help in doing that. Then you fucked off back to America and I had to start all over again. So again, for what feels like the millionth time, fuck you. I'm not going to let you switch me on and off like a sodding light bulb. Excuse me, I have people to speak to here." She brushed past him. He caught her hand just in time, but she tugged it away from him and stepped outside onto the large viewing platform. He watched as she shook her hands and body out, trying to loosen up and relax, but it wasn't long before she clutched her chest, panic creeping across her face. He was pushing through the doors before she'd even had a chance to turn towards the window to seek him out. He maneuvered them to a corner of the terrace. The terror in her eyes broke his heart. He took one of her hands and placed it on his chest and then did the same with his own hand. Her heart pounded against his palm. 

"Breath like me, baby. Nice and slowly in…." her free hand fisted at his shirt, anchoring her to him, "and out, slowly now, baby, I got you. Slowly, Becca, sweetheart." It took a couple of cycles before she was breathing regularly enough to let go of him, and another couple before she was able to speak. "I'll get you some water." He whispered once he was sure she was OK to leave for a moment. He kissed her forehead and let her rest. When he returned, he had water in one hand and champagne in the other. "Pick your poison, sweetheart." She took and downed the water and then took the champagne. He accepted a couple of chairs from a porter and guided her into the seat. 

"Thank you. I can usually… I can usually stop them in time. I was just so angry, I couldn't focus." He took her hand and looked out at the view. "Why are you here, Ted?" Her voice cracked. 

"Because I love you. And I'm sorry I wasn't brave enough to tell you before I left. Thank you for being the brave one."

"Fuck you for leaving. And thank you for coming home." She smiled over the edge of her glass, her heart rate recovering.

"Will you call off the 'Fuck You, Ted tour'?" She leaned in towards him, her eyes flicking down to his lips. 

"Depends, will you call off being an oblivious fool?"

"Think I can probably work on that, yeah," he chuckled before wrapping a gentle hand around the back of her neck and pulling her into a kiss. 

Rebecca Welton and Ted Lasso enjoyed the view at the Sky Gardens today at a leaving party for the Lionesses before they travel to Australia for the World Cup.

"Mom, look!" Henry pushed the article into Michelle's hands. 

"It's about time, huh buddy?" She smiled. 

~~~~~~

[calzone-d]

Mild Misunderstandings (part two)

a/n: you can find part one to this story here! emotional ted really tugs at my heart, y’all. someone please love this man. 

pairing: Ted Lasso x Fem!reader

warnings: mentions of divorce

word count: 1.5k

find my masterlist here!

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You went to the bedroom you shared with Ted to put your pajamas on and get ready for bed. It was only 9pm but you were exhausted. There wasn’t a single part of you looking forward to sleeping in the guest bedroom, you had grown so accustomed to sleeping next to Ted. At the same time, though, you didn’t have the mental energy to argue. 

On your walk to the guest bedroom, you heard Ted mumbling to himself about the plays being off. Deep down, you felt bad for him, but you also know that isn’t a reason to give you the third degree. 

This whole fiasco was so unlike the kind, thoughtful man you had grown to love. It had been a hard week. The season had just started, and everyone knows it’s always best to start on top when possible. Michelle had been difficult with the two of you when trying to plan Henry’s trip to visit over Christmas vacation, claiming she wanted to see him for the holidays as well. This frustrated both you and Ted, who shared a deep love for the Lasso boy, and were looking forward to your two-weeks with him. All of this combined created a lack of sleep for Ted, who had spent the last few nights up tossing and turning.

Still, Ted was always so quick to at least try and talk things out before getting snappy. You were under your own stress and were looking for comfort from your husband. Something you had grown very used to. 

Trying to calm your thoughts, you put your favorite sitcom on as you settled into bed. Before falling asleep, you shopped online for Christmas presents to give Henry, still ecstatic over seeing him, regardless of how long he was there. As your eyes grew heavy, you plugged your phone into its charger and pulled the blanket up to your chin. Tears pricked your eyes as you thought about Ted and longed for the comfort you were looking for. Maybe he’d be in a better mood in the morning, at least he had this weekend off.

The feeling of weight shifting on the bed woke you up from your sleep. Your eyes squinted open to find Ted sitting criss-cross on top of the duvet, flannel pajama pants on, a white t-shirt, messy hair, and tired tear-filled eyes. It was still dark outside, and the clock read 3:43am. The lamp he turned on was hurting your eyes, shocking you into a state of quiet.

“Y/N, I’m sorry”, his voice croaked. He sniffled before continuing, “The way I’ve been acting ain’t fair at all, not one bit. I’m just so stressed, A-and I’m scared that-”, he had to take a deep breath to stop the tears from falling.

 “I’m scared that you’ll see all these problems and want to leave. Which, sheesh, I wouldn’t blame you one bit. Christmas is just always hard for me anyway, and then adding the thought of you leavin’ on top of that is just, bad. It’s real bad, Y/N.”

By now a few tears had escaped his eyes and you took note of the way his fingers twisted around each other. He didn’t give you a moment to speak before continuing, “This is our first Christmas together, and I love all the wonderful things about Christmas but It just feels like there’s so much more at stake in my life now.” 

You nodded at him to continue. “It wasn’t great when Michelle left, and that Christmas was lonely as I’ll get out, but you leaving?”, he sniffled some more while shaking his head. “Th-that would break me, Y/N. It wouldn’t be the same by any measure.”

Now you were sitting across from him, a gentle hand on his knee.

 “Ted, I know it’s scary. Shit, the idea of you leaving me is scary too. But that’s not a reason to shut me out or give me the cold shoulder. I’d rather talk this out with you any day then spend our time dancing around each other and sleeping in different beds.”

“Sometimes, I think that when I get real scared about something, I feel like if I shut it out then I’m preparing myself for if it happens. Tryin’ to protect myself, I guess.”

“Ted, I’m your partner. You don’t need to protect yourself from me. I’m here to work through these things with you, I know they’re not easy to talk about, but these tough conversations just have to happen sometimes.”

“I know that, but I’ve seen what these tough conversations can turn into, and the thought o-of that happenin’ with you is too much. I can’t handle that, Y/N. I-I can’t.”, he choked out as a sob found its way through his lips. Scooting over beside him, you pulled him into your arms, and his head immediately went to the place between your shoulder and neck. 

Ted’s hands grabbed fists full of your sleep shirt, his body shaking as he sobbed into your neck. His tears were hot against your neck. You used one hand to soothingly rub his back while the other cradled his head, holding him tight against you as you shushed him. 

You know his divorce left him scarred, and that was something you couldn’t really relate to. You had never been through a divorce before. All you could do was try to reason with his anxious thoughts.

Allowing him a moment to let it out, you drew patterns on his back and made sure he was breathing evenly.

“Ted, our marriage is our marriage. And that’s what makes it so wonderful. It’s full of love, and trust, and support. I love you for every single thing that you are, and that isn’t changing. I can’t think of anything I may have said or done to make you feel like I have any intention of leaving you but-” 

He was quick to shake his head against you, “You haven’t”.

“I’m here, Ted. I’m here and that won’t change. There’s going to be times where it feels like all you have is problems, but I’m here to card through those with you and do damage control. Not to leave. We work as a team, honey. I married you because I love you exactly the way you are, not because I think you don’t have problems. I mean, have you smelled your feet? Whew. If we’re talking problems that’s at the top of my list.”

This elicited a chuckle from him. You smiled as you continued, “I love you, Ted. I love you, and Henry, and your problems, and his problems, and anything else that may pop up. We’re a family and we work through these things together, okay?”

He nodded against your neck before pulling away with hands still full of your sleep shirt as if he was afraid you’d disappear into the night. His sleepy, tear-filled chocolate eyes met yours and your heart broke for him a tiny bit more. 

“I love you too. It wasn’t right of me to treat you that way, you’ve got your own things goin’ on, too. You’re right, we do get over things together and tomorrow I’ll catch up on my share of the housework.”, you nodded as he spoke. “I never, ever meant to make you feel alone, or isolated.”

The crease between his eyebrows was prominent, and you couldn’t miss the bags forming under his eyes as they met yours. 

“I know it wasn’t your intention, Ted. I forgive you. And as good as I am at reading that mind of yours, sometimes I only know what you tell me. If you don’t tell me these things, I don’t really have a way of knowing that’s what’s going on”

Ted was silent for a few moments and nervously chewed his lip. “I think it may be good for me to, uh, call up the doc. Maybe set somethin’ up with her.”, he looked down as he spoke, fidgeting with loose threads on the duvet.

Smiling proudly at him, you pulled him back in for another hug, “I think that’s a great idea, love.” 

He squeezed you tight and pressed a soft kiss to your cheek, “How about we take a hot shower then go crawl back in our bed. We can sleep in, and give Henry a ring after some breakfast?”

Your suggestion was met with a nod and tired smile. “Sounds good, Darlin’”.

In the shower, Ted held you tightly against him as he let the warm water calm his nerves. You were there, you were you, and you loved him. You showed him that every day in so many ways. Your marriage was special, and unique, and he knew he didn’t have to fear being himself. 

Ted gently washed your hair for you and looked at you like you’d hung the moon as he spread your bodywash across your body. He washed you with care, eternally grateful that you found your way to him and Richmond. Grateful that you loved him unconditionally. He would spend every moment making sure you knew how loved you were if that’s what you needed.

Before you washed him, he used his hands to cradle your head for a deep kiss. You could feel the week’s stress and tension in it, wishing you could take it all away. 

You bumped your nose against his and mirrored the smile he gave you. 

“Always gonna love you, Ted.”

Thanks for reading!

[moon0fairy]

Ted Lasso 3x08 commentary aka me suffering:

Jamie as Richmonds talisman aww and him and Rojas making a goal hehe

Yes Rupert suffer

Ted :(

Wait is his full name Jake Jacob ??

Akwaard~

Uhh Jacks tattoos

Girlfriends

Preparing myself for the bad news

Not a Nate scene I expected, he‘s so awkward hdgsjs

Look not to judge anyone by their looks but Jade gives of queer vibes

Oh no Keeley :(

Loved the whole locker room scene. Trent + his rainbow cup, Beard and Roy just watching behind the window, Beard agreeing with what Trent said

Roy asking if he wanna talk about it, look at the growth !! And immediately regretting it haha

Omg Trent is about to experience the diamond dogs for the first time he ain‘t ready

Trent experiencing a cultural shook hdjsks he looks so confused

Trent: 🤨

„You can‘t worry about something that hasn‘t happened yet“ (good advice bestie, still won‘t take it)

the amount of time I need to recover from Trent‘s „woof“ is embarrassingly long

AND WE DIDN’T EVEN SEE TED’S REACTION

Not Nate thinking Rupert would come over 🫡

Trying to recreate his own Diamond Dogs oh boi, bro really needs someone to talk

Those are terrible tricks and I hope this one guy burns this book and never speaks of it again

Noo not Ted learning Oscar Wilde is dead 😭😭😭

Knock on wood

Keeley don‘t read the comments :(

That‘s a terrible statement oh wow

Damn Jamie thats an impressive collection

Oh no Colin bestie what are you saying, that‘s too much and completely inappropriate

Thank you Isaac!! Thank you Jamie!!!

Bumberbatch, I wanna know your secrets

You would think Colin would be extra careful

Pain suffering… are Roy and Jamie gonna try to comfort Keeley ????

What did Jamie see…

The look Isaac gave Colin, fearing for my life right now

Isaac you just gave a whole speech about not looking at photos without permission😭😭 the pure panic and fear in Colins face

Suffering, only suffering (predicting a Colin and Trent talking about it scene)

Not even a word, this hurts so bad

I hope that teacher rots in jail wtf

Now I‘m scared that Jack will release the statement against her will (People are making me doubt her and I hate it)

Roy… why would you ask that …

Yeah Jack you should have asked :(

Look if I didn‘t know better and you just gave me that scene, I would 100% believe that Ted and Beard are a gay couple with their son

Not the west ham match🤡 Beard you‘re iconic for that

Damn Henry really loves Nate huh

„Friend“.. didn‘t you say in the beginning you wanted to show everyone your „girlfriend“ ?? (Not that she has to be out to everyone but this felt different)

Mae being petty love that for her

„Cause my dad does.“🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

Rebecca asking the real questions, chapter Michelle is over!!

„You need to stop letting yesterday get in the way of today“

Jack…..

Jamie apologizing 🥹 being accountable matters !! Whoo

The whole scene about his password was hilarious jsksks

Henry ignoring Jake, that‘s right

[shiplessoceans]

The finale of ted lasso was beautiful. Sod off if you didn't like it, I did.

This morning I woke up and got ready for my last day of work. I was made redundant in April. I have worked with these same crew of people since I was 25.

I'm 35 years old. This job represents a decade of my life and will always be a part of me. Not the work itself, fuck the work, but the people. The memories, things I learned from them, stories I have, experiences and lessons I never would have learned without them.

And today as I accepted the flowers they gave me, hugged them as they cried and told me to stay in touch, told me they'd miss having me around and followed me to my car to wave me off...

Cat Stevens was in my head singing "...and I know, that I have to go away. I know I have to go."

And I felt profoundly sad for Ted. So happy that he was back in Kansas where he felt truly at home. But so incredibly sad that in order to be home he had to leave the family he had built.

Ted has to be with his son. He could never have lived with himself if he had missed watching his son grow up. And while he made friends, Richmond was never Ted's home. He missed Kansas the entire time.

He had to go.

I love these people I work with but I have worked this job for long enough and redundancy or not, it is definitely time to move on.

It doesn't mean I won't miss them every day.

It doesn't mean I'm not scared to go.

Ted Lasso treated these characters as human beings from the very beginning. Flawed, imperfect, fully formed human beings and threw out the tired two-dimensional tropes.

Yes in a tropey sitcom Ted and Rebecca would have ended up together, Richmond would have won the whole thing, nate would never have betrayed Ted and never grown as a human being through his mistakes, Roy and Keeley would never have broken up, had a kid and Jamie Tartt would still have been a jerk... and Ted would have just continued to do Skype Christmas until Henry grew up or the show gradually wrote him out as though he never existed like the oldest Cunningham sibling on happy days.

Fuck. If that's the show you wanted, go watch every other sitcom ever.

People don't work like that. Nates positive treatment by Ted doesn't erase years of bullying and a crushing feeling of inadequacy instilled in him by his father. Ted's can-do, positive attitude comes at the cost of his ability to confront the difficult things in his life. The world isn't split up into good people and villains. We're all just humans doing our best and fucking up sometimes.

The second you decided you knew what the character arcs should be, you passed a judgement. A determination about the characters based on who they were at that moment.

And instead you should have been curious about where the characters ended up as they grew and changed, respecting that it may not be where you wanted them to end up, but that it's not your decision to make. Same as anyone in your life that you care about.

Be curious, not judgemental.

Thankyou Ted Lasso, and Fuck you for making me cry today.

[thisismysecondrodeo]

i'm in desperate need of you writing a blurb where the reader panics over the fact they are sure ted is about to break up with them (he is not) and he calms them down and its sweet and loving and he stays. name your price, my friend.

AN: Oh the absolute ANGST of it all, followed by tooth-rooting sweetness, a winning combination. thanks for your patience, friend! I am FINALLY catching up on requests, thanks for always sending some my way 🙂

Rating: Teen

Tags: One Shot, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, SingleDad, Girl Talk with Rebecca and Keeley Fic masterlist

-

“Look, why don’t we just text Beard? I’m sure he would know—”

“No,” you groaned, dropping your head to the sticky table of the pub where you, Keeley, and Rebecca had gathered for emergency drinks. “Texting Beard about it just feels like passing notes in primary. If I’m getting dumped I should just go over there and face it like a grown-up.”

You and Ted had been seeing each other for a little over a month and you were convinced he was about to break up with you. It started with him requesting a rain check on your weekly movie night; no big deal, there were a couple of big matches coming up and it wouldn’t hurt for him to have more strategy time and for you to maybe clean your flat for once (you still didn’t clean, instead you sat around eating popcorn and wondering what Ted was doing). But then his texts were fewer and further between and overall less enthusiastic, which made you feel insane until you showed them to Rebecca and Keeley and they couldn’t help but agree. 

“What right NOW,” Rebecca exclaimed, “I feel like you should at least sober up first.” 

“What for?” You shrugged sadly, finishing off your cocktail in one big gulp, “At least now I’ll have a head start.” You weren’t drunk, just tipsy enough for subpar decision-making. You stood and put your coat on and Rebecca and Keeley made you promise to text them as soon as you got home and to call if you wanted them to come over. Just as you were about to step away, Keeley tugged you by the elbow so your eyes met hers. 

“I guarantee you, Y/N,” her voice was incredibly serious, “this is all just a big misunderstanding. And if it's not, Rebecca will cheer you up with her topless yacht photos.”

Rebecca rolled her eyes and you couldn’t help but chuckle, even in your somber state. You blew them kisses as they got into the backseat of Rebecca’s car and then started on the short walk to Ted’s. 

It felt strange walking to get broken up with; your stomach fluttered with the normal I’m-going-to-see-Ted butterflies, mixed with the the-love-of-my-life-is-going-to-dump-me anxiety. Woah, you thought as you stumbled on a cobblestone and caught your balance, I’ve never called Ted the love of my life before. And that thought made you a little weepy so by the time you knocked on Ted’s door you looked absolutely distraught: red-eyed and teary, off-balanced, and shivering slightly from the cold.

Ted opened the door ready for bed, which only made everything worse because that was your absolute favorite version of him. He was soft in every way possible—”#1 Dad” socks you knew Henry had sent him that past father’s day, soft navy and green pajama pants, a worn Kansas city barbecue t-shirt, and (the best part) his product-less hair, air-dried fresh from the shower and flopping over his forehead. 

“Hey, Darlin’! To what do I owe…,” Ted trailed off as he took a closer look at you. His face fell into concern almost immediately. “Y/N? Are you okay? Are you hurt?” And it was him still caring about you even though you knew he no longer wanted to be in a relationship with you that caused you to immediately burst into tears. 

“Oh Jesus, come here, Y/N,” Ted spoke to you like you were a spooked horse, which at this point wasn’t an incorrect comparison. He opened his arms and you fell into them, trying to stop your tears without much success. Ted didn’t stop holding you, instead walking you back slowly towards the couch, pulling away only slightly to help you sit, and to quickly look you over for injuries. Once he determined you were physically okay, he pulled you into his chest and just rocked, making a soft shushing sound and letting you soak his t-shirt without complaint. 

His deep, even breathing calmed you enough for you to pull away and clean your face up a little. 

“I’m so sorry, Ted, this wasn’t,” you cleared your throat mid-sentence, your voice thick with shed tears, “this wasn’t what I intended when I just…showed up here.” You crossed your arms in front of you, tucking into yourself, more than a little embarrassed about the mess of this you were making. If he wasn’t going to break up with you before, he certainly was now.

“Well, I can’t say you aren’t worrying me sweetheart but it’s nice to see you regardless,” Ted said softly, reaching a hand out like he was going to touch you but thinking better of it based on the way you were holding yourself. Instead, he reached for a hoodie he’d abandoned on the back of his couch and offered it to you, and you accepted with only the smallest sniffle. “Do you want to talk about what’s got you more upset than a pig in a drought?”

Leave it to Ted to break the tension with one of his entirely made-up sayings. You smiled slightly as you pulled the hoodie on. You took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. 

“Full disclosure, I am not entirely sober.” 

Ted smiled. “I gathered that. You smell a little like vanilla vodka.” 

“Keeley and Rebecca and I had emergency drinks,” you picked at the drawstring on your borrowed hoodie, avoiding Ted’s curious gaze. 

“And they were emergency because…” 

“Because I needed to talk about you breaking up with me.” 

You could feel Ted freeze next to you but you couldn’t bear to look at him. “I hate to disagree with you, sweetheart, mostly because so far you’ve always been right, but I don’t recall that happening,” Ted said, and you appreciated that he didn’t laugh it off. 

“Not yet, no, but I was—am—convinced that it’s coming. I know we haven’t been together long, but it just…I don’t know, seems like you’ve been pulling away.” 

Ted took a deep breath and that only made the tears start anew, but much softer this time a quiet trickle instead of a full-blown sob. “Oh darlin’, I’m so sorry. First things, first, no I absolutely do not want to break up with you. Not even a little bit.” 

You looked at Ted finally, surprised, and found only remorse on his face. He reached a hand out for you, palm up, making it your choice if you wanted his touch and you took it gratefully, lacing your fingers together. 

“I’m not gonna gaslight you or tell you you're crazy that it feels like I’ve been MIA. Truthfully, well, I found out Henry’s gonna come stay with me for a while—maybe indefinitely—and it's really thrown me for a loop. I wasn’t really sure how to talk about it with you and I did the dumb thing which was not talk at all.” 

“Oh, Ted, that's fantastic! Did you think I wouldn’t be happy for you? I’d understand spending some time apart for you to get settled with your son.” 

“See that’s the thing,” Ted rubbed a hand across his scruffy face and you could tell he looked a little embarrassed, “I didn’t want time apart. I DON’T want time apart, even while Henry’s here. But I didn’t want to scare you off so early in the relationship by bringing my kid into the mix. Obviously, if you don’t ever want to meet Henry that’s a problem, but it just seemed unfair of me to force you into it only a month into this thing. I didn’t…I didn’t want to be too much for you.” 

You smiled, pulling Ted’s hand up to your lips and placing a kiss on his knuckles, and then you surprised him by getting up briefly to turn around and straddle his lap so your noses were nearly brushing, cupping his jaw in your hands. “Ted, I would love to meet Henry and spend time with the both of you, no matter how long he’s here. Even if it's forever—especially if it’s forever. You could never, ever be too much for me.” 

Ted grinned, his turn to get a little teary, before leaning forward and catching your lips with his own. 

You pulled back after a few moments, your hands falling to play with the hem of his shirt. “You know, on the way over here I thought to myself, ‘I can’t believe I’m going to get dumped by the love of my life,’ and yet I came over here anyway and you made it better. Like you always do. I don’t deserve you, Ted.” 

The words were out of your mouth before you really realized what you had said, probably the effects of the alcohol and the heightened emotion making it easy to accidentally let it slip that you were in love with your boyfriend of one month. Ted’s eyes went wide and he was slack-jawed for just a moment before he smiled at you, and you tilted your head at him in confusion. “What are you lookin’ at me like that for?”

“I’m the love of your life,” he asked like he couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of his mouth.

“Oh fuck,” you laughed, your eyes going wide too. “That was supposed to be an inside thought. But now that it’s an outside thought…I am absolutely head-over-heels in love with you, Ted Lasso.” 

“Y/N, you deserve the entire world. You deserve romance and passion and laughter. You deserve every bit of love I have for you in this ol’ heart of mine, and trust me when I say, it’s a whole lot. I love you, Y/N. I love you so much that I tried to love you less just in case I was loving you too much, too soon,” Ted chuckled. “And I’m so sorry that I made you worry. I’m so sorry I didn’t just talk it through with you.” 

Ted leaned in to kiss you again and you couldn’t help but turn up the heat now that you knew the two of you felt the same, licking into his mouth and moaning as your tongues met, his hands snaking their way under your hoodie to hold you firm against him. You pressed your hands into Ted’s chest just slightly, hoping to move things to the bedroom, a smile on your face as he fell back into the couch.

“We can still have breakup sex though, right?”

Ted snorted a laugh and his only answer was to stand up with you still decidedly in his lap and make his way to the bedroom. 

[existential-labrador]

So a lot of us are wondering why Ted and Rebecca haven’t had many scenes together or scenes alone together so far this season and there’s a few theories. As much as I’d love to say it’s just a slow burn move, I’ve been thinking about it a lot and think there’s a lot more to it.

This is in response to @dollsome-does-tumblr poll on this very question which really got me thinking. I also realised my answer was too long for a comment so made yet another post 😂

So, I keep thinking about the reason being because they’re both trying to hard to keep it together at the moment that they know (whether consciously or not) that they won’t be able to hide this from each other.

Ted is struggling with Michelle and being apart from Henry and I think is wondering what he now wants from his life. Nate pointing out that he should be with his son really hit a nerve but I think it’s also made Ted realise his life in Kansas doesn’t make sense or even exist anymore.

Similarly Rebecca is wondering what she wants from her life, hence the psychic. Being with Sam made her realise that she can and deserves to be happy but she still has a lot of healing to do before she can get there and she’s not ready to face that completely yet.

I think when they spend some proper time together, these walls they’re building to avoid fully confronting these things will come crashing down.

I also wonder if some part of each of them (again perhaps on an unconscious level) resents the other at the moment with what’s going on with Nate and Rupert. I wonder if on some level Rebecca resents that Ted didn’t see what was going on with Nate and feels like Rupert was given a win, which she hates more than anything. I think that hate is compounded with a degree of self loathing over the fact she is now back to a point of being obsessed with wanting to beat Rupert even though it had seemed she’d almost moved past this stage. I don’t for a second think she would actually believe this is Ted’s fault but emotions don’t always make sense and can be very complicated and often end up being misdirected.

I also wonder if Ted is feeling resentful that Rebecca is still determined to be at war with Rupert because the more they’re at war the more damage is done and they’ve already lost Nate. You could add to that that some part of him may now reflecting on her need for revenge being the reason he’s not with his son. Again I don’t think he truly believes this, but, emotions. But I think with Ted it’s probably more feelings of guilt around Nate and then Rebecca being hurt and reverting back to being obsessed with revenge as a consequence that may be adding to his not wanting to be alone with her and face these feelings, even if he hasn’t acknowledged that yet.

I think we all saw a lot in the scene where she asked him to fight but I think there’s a lot more under the surface of that moment that is still to come. A lot of anger, resentment, guilt, and a lot of pain. Perhaps targeted at each other on some emotional level, even though that isn’t what they actually think or believe.

I also think they’re both feeling a lot of guilt and shame. Given how he has made her feel in the past and given her experience with abuse, Rebecca may feel (however wrongly) responsible for Rupert’s actions and for him targeting Nate and feel, as I said before, ashamed that she is so focused on revenge. Again, Ted is feeling a lot of guilt and shame around Nate and hates what this has done to Rebecca as a consequence. Facing each other may mean facing this and it also means acknowledging the worst parts of themselves. It also means, showing the worst parts of themselves to the other and being as vulnerable as possible as a result, which neither of them is ready to do again yet.

[gottagobackintime]

Ted being obsessed and upset with the idea of Michelle getting engaged makes perfect sense. And I think they handled it in a good way.

Let’s go back and look at where he is coming from.

Michelle was the one who fell out of love, not Ted.

Michelle was the one who asked for the divorce and he agreed, but he didn’t really want to, wasn’t really ready to give up on his marriage.

He starts having panic attacks and he is depressed.

He’s separated from his son because he was advised to give Michelle space and the manager job was an opportunity to do that.

He finds out that Michelle has a “friend” close enough to give Henry expensive gifts, and he’s not stupid, he understands that it’s not just a friend. But Michelle didn’t tell him so he doesn’t say anything.

He finds out by accident that the “friend” is not only not just a friend, he feels comfortable enough to pick up the phone at Michelle’s house.

The “friend” also turns out to be their former couple’s therapist, the therapist that Ted already felt undermined him during their sessions. And now he finds out that said therapist is in a relationship with his ex. And that he’s apparently such a big part of Michelle and Henry’s life that he’s driving them around. And Michelle never told him that she’s seeing someone and that she has introduced him to their son.

He’s upset and yet he knows that he has no say in who she dates and he does accept that. It hurts him but he accepts it. But then he sees them together, or more importantly, he sees that Jake treats Henry like his son. And it hurts Ted even more. Not only did he lose his wife, he’s now losing his son. He’s not really of course, Henry loves him and he is still his son, but this is what Ted is feeling.

He’s trying to be friendly, even commenting positively on Michelle and Jake’s little getaway. And then all of a sudden he finds out that, actually, she’s being surprised with a trip to Paris. A city known for being THE romantic place to go, but also a place that Ted never got to take her. And so he assumes that Jake will propose.

His suspicions get some validation by Roy and Trent (and Beard) saying that, if they were to propose, they would do it in Paris. So he must be right. If you’re surprised with a romantic trip to Paris, you’ll get proposed to.

He then tells them that’s what’s going to happen and they all react with sympathy. And then we get to see the Diamond Dogs assemble, with new member, Trent Crimm.

The first thing Higgins does when he finds out what is happening is to offer sympathy. Saying that it’s hard when your ex moves on. And it’s especially hard when you’re the one who didn’t want the relationship to be over.

BUT, then they find out that Ted doesn’t actually have any evidence at all that Michelle will get engaged and they all call him out on it in their own way. Beard, Roy and Higgins with annoyance, Trent with words of wisdom and Higgins reaffirming Trent’s words. They’re still there for him but they’re also calling him out on his nonsenses.

Then of course he doesn’t really accept what the Diamond Dogs are saying because he’s gone too far down the rabbit hole at this point. So he goes to Rebecca. And he goes too far by asking her to hire a private investigator to follow Michelle and Jake in Paris. And while I wish that she’d been more firm from the beginning, saying no and not letting him believe that she would do it. I understand why she didn’t. Because she’s been in a similar dark place. Not the same, but I believe that she understands the pain he’s going through.

Then in the end he accepts that he can’t do anything and while yes he checks her finger for a ring, I believe that this was a needed step on his journey to being okay. Did he go too far? Absolutely. Do I understand and sympathise? Also yes.

I can understand that he’s obsessed with the thought of Michelle getting engaged. It’s not that he doesn’t accept that she’s moving on, I mean he himself finds the idea of Jake asking his permission to propose to Michelle weird. But since she didn’t even tell him that she was dating someone seriously enough that he had been introduced to their son, it obviously left some scars. What’s to say that she’d actually tell him they’re engaged. She broke his trust the moment she kept her relationship status secret. And now he has to navigate that. Not really being able to sort through his feelings. Because so much is going on at the same time. It’s the first time he’s seeing them together as a couple, Jake clearly trying to take on a parental role with Henry, him finding out that they’re actually going on a surprise trip to Paris. It gets too much and he spirals. But as I said earlier, the show is telling us that what Ted is doing isn’t okay. His feelings are valid, his actions are not. The Diamond Dogs validates his feelings while still calling him out on his obsession with the possible proposal. Rebecca shows sympathy and in the end she makes him realise that it’s gone too far and that he should go be with Henry.

He needed this to happen so that he can move on.

[mikimeiko]

Ok, so, thoughts on Ted Lasso finale and on season 3 as a whole:

Ted going back to Kansas was always the only possible ending. He has a son! He had a dad who abandoned him in the worst possible way and fucked him up, he HAD to go back to his son! (and no, Henry moving to London was not the best solution. Even if Michelle was actually ok with moving as well for some reason, uprooting your kid is not… the best move.)

(And sorry but I don't really agree with "Ted is leaving is support system in England!" and even less with the idea that he has built a found family there. He integrated in the community to a point, and he started doing it on day 1. And he has good, strong work relationships with all the people at Richmond. But! Most of the time when he is outside of work is either with Beard or by himself. He accepted Rebecca's help with that first panic attack, but he never reached out to her (or anyone else outside of doctor Sharon - who is a professional) in moments of distress. He made himself available to the people around him, but it's always been kind of unidirectional. (Ted has a wall around his core. He started chipping away at it in therapy but I would say that for now it's all very internal, he's really not ready to share. "It's just like I… It's like I'm scared sometimes to, like… to get close to that little boy. 'Cause I know he's gonna leave." This is about Henry, but it's really not just about Henry). So anyway, yes the show could have handled it better - maybe even just showing us a scene of Ted in Kansas going around with saying hello to everyone like he did in London, to let us KNOW that he is also present in that community, but anyway it doesn't feel so jarring to me). Also: I don't think going back to where you came from is necessarily a regression.

Staying in Kansas for a bit, I hated the Dr Jacob storyline. It made no sense, it was unpleasant and had no point, and I hated it.

I loved that Rebecca almost sold the team and then realized that she could be a force of change in a better direction for the game. I loved the fact that she sold the shares to the fan, I LOVED Keleey proposing a women's team because it felt SO RIGHT. I didn't particularly like the idea that they paralleled these choices to motherhood, because it's the stupidest idea ever, I'm sorry but just no. Also: I'm very sad that dutch man came back. I profoundly enjoyed the idea that Rebecca could have had that one night out of place and out of time, that it had a profound impact on her and changed the trajectory of her life a bit, while staying contained to that one night. Instead it turned into a love at first sight, happily ever after story. Ok, then? Sorry, not as interesting.

I'm so sad and upset and disappointed by how they handled Nate. I hated that it went from episode one (in which he was end-of-season-2 Nate, bitter and cocky in his new position) to episode four and he was old Nate again? Funny, clever, sweet, a little shy, basically full of love. What?! When did this happen? Where's the "be careful what you wish for cause it may come true"? Where's the disillusionment in Rupert and that kind of club culture? Where's the realization that what Nate thought would make him happy was actually not what he wanted at all? Where's the fight to make things change? ARGH. Also: that ending? Coming back to Richmond to be Will's number 2? What is going on. (I enjoyed A LOT every bit with his family. The conversation with his father! So tender.)

Also Keeley. I don't know, she felt so lost and then she actually lost everything (but it was because of her relationship with Jack) and then she didn't actually lose everything (but it was because of her relationship with Rebecca) and? Also Shandy's storyline was such a shame, when it could have been about finding the right balance to be the boss of your friend in a way that made you both shine more. But even though I liked her with Roy and hoped they would go back together (I also would have found the throuple interesting), I appreciate that her endgame was not, after all, a relationship. She's happy and she's thriving with her new weird, bloodthirsty coworker/friend and that's good to see.

Roy was so uneven. I have no words. I'm sad. I cried when he learned to ride a bike with Jaime, and at his Diamond Dogs speech. I wish they could have found a better way to show that unlearning shit and changing is hard.

Jamie definitely had the longest, better executed arc of the season and of the show (only Rebecca's is comparable). I hated him and now he is my precious bean. I actually loved Ted's speech on the field of letting go of the rage and the hate for his father for himself. I'm not enraged that they showed him reconnecting with his father, but I would have liked that part more if he hadn't immediately reached out to him (it was not supposed to be about his father).

What was Zava doing there in the first half of the season? I really thought that a character like him could have had a better story. But the answer I found is this: they needed that part when the team keeps losing to get to the revelation of total football with Jamie as the director; but they also needed Richmond to have enough points to almost win the whole fucking thing. So they got a star player that got them (alone, with no need to integrate into the team) to the top of the league, and then they made him leave suddenly. At least they made him more interesting that I thought he would be in the beginning.

Sam was also relegated to a much minor role this season (on one hand, the show has a big cast, and if you want some secondary characters to have more space - I'm thinking of Colin especially - you have to take out something else; but on the other, this could have been handled better). "His" episode felt so empty that you could take it out without changing much of the narrative structure of the season. His father was everything we thought he would be and more, and kudos for him not being a Ted-like character.

I kinda wished they would have ignored Rupert after the Akufo episode. I hated that they were showing his human side, but at the end of the episode I thought they were actually going for a very clever choice: he was this larger than life villain in Rebecca's mind, but in the end he's just an aging man, losing power and influence, fading out of everyone's memory. But no, they had to have the wife and mistress rebellion, the re-evilification, the loss of control, the crowd yelling "wanker" at him. I get the parallel, but I don't like it.

I am actually quite happy at Tedbecca not being canon. They had this amazing connection, they changed each other (though as I said above… it was mostly Ted changing Rebecca, not so much the other way around), their relationship was a life altering event. And it was NOT romantic. Sorry not sorry but I love this. I love a show that says that you don't have to be in love to love someone.

Also in general the season felt a little cartoonish. The characters were always on the brink of being caricatures of themselves (and, in the case of the himbos, many times it was not just being on the brink). Amazingly poignant moments followed by silly jokes or wildly out of characters stuff.

I watched the season finale on my way to work wednesday morning because I just couldn't wait. When the episode ended I was crying on a bench, filled with emotion. I know that probably reading what I wrote above it seems like I disliked a lot of things, but I also didn't? There were a lot of good things as well. A lot of love. This show will always have a special place in my heart, no matter the disappointments.

I just wish they could make a season 2 and 3 that fulfilled the promise of season 1. But I also think it was nearly impossible because… season 1 was written pre-covid. It was a different world.