#ted the terrible

[cak31ssuperi04]

"Basically what happens is, Grace and Max are right about to win. They're right about to do it. And then, there's a groaning. In the floorboards. Suddenly, the staircase gives out beneath Grace and Max, and they fall through the floors. They fall stories. Pieces of wood shove through their chests, and they both are killed."

"But keep this in mind, nothing truly dies in the Waylon house. Grace and Max become ghosts, and they're off doing whatever, but they're no longer involved in the tournament."

So.. that Pit Stop in Hatchetfield tag team deathmatch huh.

[izzysamosriverdale]

Bughead Bait - don't fall for it, don't give the show your views. Now they're going to screw us again for the rest of this rank 50s AU. But in the end, nothing that happens in the 50s is going to matter, so there's that.

[booigi-boi]

Sometimes I forget that this man is like in the top 3 of "most tragic Hatchetfield characters"

Like no, this fucker does not deserve to be written like that, this bastard of a man does not deserve to die all the damn time and leave his younger bro to cry in their shared apartment every single night, wondering where the man he looks up to a lot has gone, not knowing he's never coming back, cause some other bastard decided he needed a blorbo!!

I refuse to believe that Theodore fucking Spankoffski is this much of a tragic character, when his whole character is just horny and dying!

YOU CAN'T TELL ME THAT A MAN WHO IS DOWN SO BAD HE WOULD CANONICALLY BECOME A FURRY, JUST HAS TO WATCH THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE DIE IN HIS ARMS AND GET TURNED INTO A BROKEN HOMELESS MAN WHO "GETS PRETTY SCARY SOMETIMES"

F me fr man, the Langs made me care for a man I wish to stay whole towns away from if he was real

[cowardlykrow]

“H- Ah shit, goddamn it.”

[gela5tuiin]

I dunno if anyone has done this before, but another trend

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

[dyingbuck]

TED THE TERRIBLE AND ELLEN

[izzysamosriverdale]

Ted Sullivan - a legend in his own mind.

You know, it’s months later, and I cannot believe, just truly cannot believe that we never truly conceptualized of Ted’s genius. He fed us such a detailed, multilayered portrayal of three absolutely essential actors in a completely riveting plotline.

I am speaking, of course, of Archie, Tabitha and Toni’s genius and absolutely essential 3 episode plot about free coffee vs. no free coffee. What a feast for the senses that was.

[lunar-years]

I think, whenever Jamie is at the airport without Roy, like maybe with the England team or on a trip with the lads, he goes to the airport bookshop, reads all the back covers, and picks the one with the most ridiculous sounding plot to bring home to Roy :) he's like ah yes this sounds especially terrible Roy is going to love this! and he's always right

[rabbitsrams]

reader and schlatt are doing it in the back of the toyota tacoma and ted catches them. rather than be upset he wants them to continue.

nsfw under the cut, minors dni!! 18+ only. warnings: exhibitionsim, voyeurism

edit: hey i made a part 2

“we have to be quick.”

“oh god, what if he sees us?”

“he won’t if you stay down and keep quiet.”

schlatt is gripping your hips and pounding relentlessly into you. you bury your face into his neck, trying your hardest to muffle your moans. you couldn’t help it, you were always so vocal whenever you were fucked good. and that was always the case with schlatt.

ted bids goodbye to his friends, thankful to finally be away from that party. all he wants to do at this point is go back home and rest.

he’s walking back to his truck when he hears soft moans echoing in the parking garage. they only grow louder as he gets closer to his car.

he’s surprised at the sight of you and schlatt, completely nude and going at it like a couple of rabbits. and he wishes it didn’t turn him on this much.

“what the hell you guys?” you’re shocked out of your trance and look up to see ted standing right in front of the truck.

“oh my god!” you scream, grabbing the nearest item of clothing and covering yourself with it. schlatt turns around and simply utters a ‘hey.’

“ted, oh my god, we’re so sorry-”

“don’t stop.” his voice is barely a whisper.

“what?”

“i never told you guys to stop. it’s okay, keep going.”

schlatt looks up at his friend, devilishly smiling as he starts to fuck into you once more.

you cover your face, completely embarrassed. your boyfriend is still making you feel like you’re on cloud nine, and yet you couldn’t believe you had an audience. an audience who just so happened to be your boyfriend‘s hot friend.

“c’mon doll, look at teddy. show him how good i’m fuckin’ ya.” you look over at ted, who’s already unzipping his jeans. 

“a-are you...” you stutter out.

“‘course he is. look at this show we’re givin’ him.” schlatt chuckles

all of a sudden, a new burst of confidence hits you. throwing away your shyness, you decide to go all out and put on a show.

“oh, fuck, j, right there! right there!” you moan. you look over at ted. his face is bright red and he’s stroking his cock, eyes stuck on you and schlatt. 

“look at her, ted. isn’t she so pretty sittin’ on my cock?” 

“s-so pretty. fuck.”

ted’s praise sends you over the edge, your nails dig into schlatt’s back as you come. 

“thanks for letting us use the car, man.” schlatt claps ted on the back before helping you get down. 

“uh huh, no problem...” ted replies, still in disbelief at what had just happened.

you stand on your toes to give ted a chaste kiss on the cheek. “y’know, if you ever want to have a threesome, just give us a call.” you say with a wink, leaving him stunned and aroused once more.

[supersonic-rocket-ship]

Colin in the next episode:

[door]

she’s still there, isn’t she

[elloras]

Ted Lasso: All Apologies

[finleycannotdraw]

figuring out how to draw these guys<333

[littleguypumpkinsheep]

IHNMAIMS CAST RE-INTERPRETATION

Due to my visceral hatred of the game and the way they handled the characters, I’ve decided to re-write their stories a little bit! I’m using the book, comics, and radio drama as reference, and my own headcanons too for fun. This is all For Fun

Ellen

Things I’m Keeping

Born in Trenton, New Jersey

Computer scientist

3 degrees

Went to Stanford university 

Graduated high school early

Lived with her grandparents 

Hope in humanity

Self assured

Sympathetic

Rape survivor

Little to no interest in sex in general

Work driven

Career focused

Things I’m Changing

Black rights advocate

Queer rights advocate 

Feminist

Outspoken

Trans woman 

Lesbian

No interest in motherhood

Fell into a depression when her assault left her with chronic illness and pain

Has OCD

Character Notes

Highly distrustful of people. Kind and caring, but her concern for others is surface level. Struggles with the fear of men and violent intrusive thoughts. Favorite color is red. It calms her.

——

Ted

Things I’m Keeping

Born near Shelby, North Carolina

Grew up extremely poor

Lived on a farm

Interest in reading

Knack for mechanics and engineering

No traditional education, self taught

Studied intensively

Education focused

Grooming victim

Charming

Relied on his body for money

Philanthropist

Rich

Good sense of morals

Kindhearted

Things I’m Changing

Closeted bisexual

Not a con-artist

Not a racist

Not a womanizer

Has anxiety

Has a paranoid personality disorder

Touch adverse

Struggles with dermatillomania

Demisexual

Character Notes

Had always been paranoid and anxious even before AM, but it made his problems even worse. Struggles heavily with internalized homophobia, and gets visually uncomfortable when queer topics or people are discussed. Prideful and egotistical out of habit, but is deeply insecure in reality.

——

Gorrister

Things I’m Keeping

Born in the Midwest

Troublemaker as a child

Disrespect for authority 

Did poorly in school

Moves across states for work

Practically friendless

Has experience as a construction worker, electrician, mechanic, and a trucker

Interest in reading

Prefers to stay home and eat home-cooked meals

Wants to settle down

Divorced

Anti-war

Left-leaning political activist

Strong sense of morals and justice

Wanted a family

Things I’m Changing

Marriage with Glynis was not abusive

Did not strike his wife 

Divorced due to wanting different things out of life and overwhelming mental health issues

Bisexual

Queer rights activist 

Has depression

Has CPTSD

Born in Texas specifically

Struggles with alcoholism

Struggles with anger issues

Is an artist

Character Notes

Very deeply loved and adored his wife. He did everything he could for her, but it just wasn’t enough. Glynis’ worsening mental state became too much for either of them to handle, and Gorrister didn’t know what to do. Sending her to a mental hospital was a non-option, things got worse, and she commuted suicide. He blames himself for it every day of his life.

——

Nimdok

Things I’m Keeping

Born in Düsseldorf

Jewish parents

Went to medical school 

Apparent lack of compassion

Gay

Scientist

German

Has dementia

Had a partner in Brazil

The oldest of the group

Self assured

Logical

Things I’m Changing

Not a nazi 

Not decrepit 

Has early-onset dementia specifically

Not AM’s favorite

Low empathy

Low sympathy

Has a general disinterest in other people

AroAce

Struggles with schizophrenia 

Character Notes

While unable to sympathize or understand other people’s emotions, it wasn’t ever in his nature to be outright mean or cruel. Rather, his dementia is what caused the change in behavior. Sometimes he has moments of clarity, where his true nature can be seen for a few fleeting moments. Still retains his sharp scientific mind.

——

Benny

Things I’m Keeping

Gay

Professor

Good looking

Intelligent

Born somewhere in America

Strong willed

High perseverance

Self assured

Physically strong

Things I’m Changing

Had absolutely nothing to do with the military 

Did not have a wife

Is not needlessly mean or violent

Career driven

Focus in academics

Knows sign language

Struggles with chronic fatigue and pain

A softer man

Interest in nature and the outdoors 

Character Notes

Never one to start a fight or even anger much at all, Benny was laidback and easygoing. He had a calm life, and his personality was upbeat. Nothing ever seemed to bring him down. Not even his chronic illnesses, as frustrating and disheartening as they could be. In his free time he was somewhat of a survivalist. 

[emmetofthestars]

Some Blu heavymedic?? 😵‍💫 or how they are with each other??

love your Blu medic

glad you like him :)

blu heavy and medic really dont like eachother. but also, blu medic just doesnt like anyone

red medic and blu heavy are good though :J