#ted porker

[starkid-innit]

Presenting: a selection of the dumbest friendship bracelets I’ve made so far

[graceschasity]

Yall... if the fandom has been right... and Ted's last name was porker.... then that... that would make pete..... *falls down a well*

[irregularbillcipher]

incredibly funny that back in the 2019 ten year anniversary livestream nick lang was like “apparently people think ted’s last name is PORKER? don’t know where THAT came from, that is NOT his last name” and acted so baffled and almost indignant, then way later revealed it to be spankoffski, which is just objectively so much worse

[starrynyxa]

whenever i see ted's last name it throws me off. ive deluded Myself into thinking his last name is legitimately Porker

[caliform-i-a]

remember when you guys unironically thought ted’s last name was porker???? and tagged shit with it.

[ratswithknives]

emma listening to paul and ted talk about the latte hottay

[theguywhodidntlikestimboards]

🥃Ted Spankoffski🥃

✨-✨-✨

✨-💛-✨

✨-✨-✨

[whatdoscissorsdo]

Henry: *sings SSN*

Ted: uH oh,,. 👀 b0n3r aLerT❗⚠️ 🎶

[incorrect-starkid]

*over text*

Emma: Everyone’s always like “I wanna die” but the moment some clowns come over wanting to kill you and you’re all crying. Fucking hypocrites

Ted: The day I let a bozo stab me to death is the day I die

Paul: Well yeah that’s how that works

Ted: Dude don’t make fun of me, what if a girl sees

[robmanion]

basically tgwdlm characters as other jobs

i don’t know why i’m doing this, but it popped in my head so here we go!

Paul: children’s therapist 

Emma: middle school science teacher 

Hidgens: playwright (obviously)

Ted: meteorologist 

Charlotte: social media influencer

Bill: camp counselor 

Sam: macy’s manager 

Mr. Davidson: national park ranger

General McNamara: movie critic

[acutelittlehufflepuff]

Small Black Friday theory

We know that Lex' mother is not a goo parents, she does drugs, she neglects her etc. From what we hear, her father isn't really in the picture (He isn't mentioned at all in CaliforMIA). We know that Ted loves screwing around with other peoples' wives, and isn't a particularly good person overall. So what if Ted was their dad? He doesn't seem like a person who would care for a child he accidentally conceived. That also explains why his last name would be a spoiler.

[psychiatristreturning]

emma: you're really campaigning for asshole of the year, aren't you?

ted: as defending champion, are you nervous?

[atomic-no-83]

Idk abt you but porker still sounds better

[starrynyxa]

[alientabs]

you can literally imagine and Joey Richter character saying any of Teds lines.

like, Mcdoon doing the kick my head rant. or Ernest Hemmingway saying the bit about a church. That one cop from Jessie calling Hidgens a king.

it just works

[emiko-matsui]

i made this connection a few hours ago so here tumblr void, you can have it too

+ a lil bonus