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hairstyleforteen · 6 months ago

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10 Best Shampoo And Conditioner For Hair Over 60

Our body experiences massive changes as we age. Our skin will wrinkle, our bones will weaken, and our hair will be more susceptible to damage. Now more than ever, it’s very important to give your crowning glory more attention. You can start by finding the best shampoo and conditioner for hair over 60. Aging always makes its existence felt on our hair. Both men and women will agree that old age is their enemy when it comes to hair health. Many people lose their hair, but you can delay this with the right choice of products. In this post, I will discuss how aging affects our hair and the best product choices you can use. As someone in the early 60s, I also added my tips on how to take care of your hair to prevent damage and thinning.

How aging affects our hair health

As we age, our hair becomes drier, stiffer, and more prone to damage. Additionally, we may notice changes in texture and thickness. While going gray is one change, damage is another. It's important to note that several factors can affect the aging of our hair, including hormones, genetics, and biochemistry. Genetics is one of the strongest determinants of how thick your hair will be once you reach 60. For men, male-pattern baldness is the most dreaded problem. It’s often passed on from one male family member to another. On the other hand, your hair's health can also be affected by hormonal changes. Women are at risk here, especially as 60 is postmenopausal age. Many women experience hair thinning and less full hair during and after menopause as the progesterone and estrogen hormone levels dwindle. Various biochemical processes regulate hair growth. Aging reduces sebum and androgens, resulting in dryer, thinner, and breakable hair. Aside from that, our bodies become less efficient at producing melanin as we grow older. This results in dull and faded hair color, which is why black hair turns gray. Despite all this, aging shouldn’t feel like a life sentence for your hair. There are many ways to keep your tresses healthy and thick as you navigate your 60s onward. Below, I reviewed 10 shampoo and conditioner products that will help take care of your aging hair. See which of these you’ll love to use!

10 Best Shampoos and Conditioner For Hair Over 60

1. PURA D’OR Original Gold Label Anti-Hair Thinning Shampoo When it comes to the best shampoo and conditioner for a hair over 60, I swear by the PURA D’OR Original Gold Label Anti-Hair Thinning Shampoo. This product is made of the proprietary DHT herbal blend. It’s composed of 17 herbs, including biotin, Red Korean Seaweed, argan oil, amla oil, black cumin seed oil, and more. Moreover, this PURA D’OR shampoo has no parabens and SLS. It’s also gluten-free and doesn’t contain formaldehyde, sulfates, petrolatum, and toluene. This is also safe to use for those with common allergies. Most of all, this product is vegan and cruelty-free. This shampoo will help boost your thinning hair while moisturizing your dry scalp. Both men and women will benefit from this natural and nourishing formula made for aging hair. It promotes circulation on the scalp while giving your locks a fuller and bouncier finish. By consistently using this shampoo, you can reduce hair fall and promote new hair growth. However, individuals with hypersensitivity to caffeine may want to consider other products on this list. If you’re unhappy with the results, PURA D’OR offers a 100% satisfaction guarantee. They will give you a full refund if you’re not satisfied with the results, no questions asked. Pros - 100% full refund guarantee - Made of 17+ herbs - Cruelty-free and vegan formula Cons - Not for those with caffeine hypersensitivity 2. Nioxin System 2 Cleanser Shampoo Another formula I recommend is the Nioxin System 2 Cleanser Shampoo. This one might be an ideal choice for those with extremely oily scalps. It performs a deep cleanse to remove dirt, excessive oil, and irritants, thanks to its Activ Renewal Technology. This shampoo is made for individuals with progressed thinning. If you’re suffering from male pattern baldness or similar conditions, you should give Nioxin a try. Moreover, this shampoo offers a light moisturizing benefit. It also shields your hair from UV rays while removing environmental residues. Also, this is blended with peppermint oil to refresh your scalp while giving it a natural scent. It smells a little bit medicated, but it does the job of preventing further hair loss and boosting new growth. For me, that’s just a small issue that I can live with. However, you should remember that this isn’t color-safe. If you have color-treated hair, you must get the System 3 or System 4 formula instead. Overall, System 2 is formulated for those with natural hair. Aside from that, the Nioxin System 2 Cleanser Shampoo also comes in a therapy conditioner formula, which you can purchase separately. Pros - Ideal for oily natural hair - Activ Renewal Technology for deep cleansing - Protects against UV rays Cons - Not safe for color-treated hair 3. Nourish Beaute Vitamins Shampoo & Conditioner The Nourish Beaute Vitamins Shampoo & Conditioner comes in two separate bottles. The shampoo is packed with biotin, coconut oil, castor oil, and proprietary Procapil. Meanwhile, the conditioner is blended with argan oil, keratin, biotin, and the proprietary Baicapil. Procapil is a patented ingredient that stimulates hair growth while preventing further hair loss. Meanwhile, Baicapil is a combination of three plant ingredients that also fight hair loss. These two patented ingredients are mixed with a vitamin blend and DHT blockers. Moreover, this Nourish Beaute pair is suitable for all hair types. It will condition and volumize your hair, so you’ll look good even at 60. This has a plant-based formula, which guarantees gentle and nourishing effects. Overall, these shampoos and conditioners are cruelty-free, paraben-free, hormone-free, and phthalate-free. This makes it a great choice for those over 60s with sensitive scalps. It also smells good and lathers well. Aside from that, Nourish Beaute offers a 100% happiness guarantee. This will protect your money in case you don’t see results. The only thing I noticed is that it will take a long for you to see substantial growth with this shampoo and conditioner. Nevertheless, it works wonders in keeping your hair healthy. Pros - Patented ingredient blends - Plant-based ingredients - Suitable for all hair types Cons - The hair growth benefit takes time to show results. 4. Oribe Gold Lust Repair & Restore Shampoo If you don’t mind splurging, I highly recommend the Oribe Gold Lust Repair & Restore Shampoo. This is a rejuvenating formula that’s a must for aging hair. Most of all, this shampoo is free of sulfate, paraben, and gluten. It’s also PETA-certified cruelty-free and safe for color and keratin-treated hair. Moreover, the Oribe Gold Lust Repair & Restore Shampoo has Bio-Restorative Complex, which deeply nourishes the hair cuticle. This is paired with an Amino Acid Complex for added moisturization on your scalp and hair. Also, this shampoo has Mediterranean Cyprus extracts that naturally repair and restore damaged hair. With regular use, your aging hair will become softer, healthier, and easier to manage. This is aside from the hydrating argan oil to control the frizz. Another thing I like about the Oribe Gold is it makes the hair appear youthful with regular use. It also locks in moisture on the hair strands, which gives it a conditioning effect. This shampoo also smells heavenly, but I wish the container will be improved to prevent leaks. Some users also complain about the price, but I won't mind splurging for the benefit it brings. Pros - PETA-certified cruelty-free - Bio-Restorative Complex + Amino Acid Complex - Heavenly scent Cons - The conditioning effect is just mild. 5. Living proof Restore Shampoo If you want to save some bucks, I suggest that you try the Living Proof Restore Shampoo. This shampoo is free from sulfates, silicones, phthalates, and parabens, which makes it a safe choice for aging hair. For over 60s with colored and chemically-treated hair, this is also a good choice. Aside from that, the Living Proof shampoo removes residues from your scalp so that it won’t block your roots. While it doesn’t promote hair growth, it does a good job of keeping your aging hair healthy. This is one of the few shampoo products that worked for me. I have straight hair with hardly untamable frizz. But after a month of using this shampoo, I can say that I’m the ‘Living proof’ of its efficacy! It made me proud of my hair. Overall, Living Proof promises to make your hair 20x more resistant to breakage. It will also repel oil and dirt, so your hair won’t be weighed down easily, which allows you to enjoy your hairstyle longer. Moreover, I know a few hairstylists who recommend this shampoo, which just proves its quality. If you have damaged hair but can’t afford expensive products, the Living Proof Restore Shampoo is a good start. Pros - It makes hair 20x more breakage resistant - Safe for color and chemically-treated hair - Cruelty-free formula Cons - There’s not much benefit for those with thinning hair. 6. Kerastase Densifique Bodifying Shampoo If your hair seems to lack density as you get older, the Kerastase Densifique Bodifying Shampoo will be a big help. It’s made to deep cleanse, strengthen, and increase the density of your hair. This is a 2-in-1 shampoo that provides conditioning for the best results. Aside from that, the Kerastase Densifique has hyaluronic acid, which makes your hair plump. It’s also blended with glucose peptide that reaches far into the cuticle to strengthen your existing hair. Above all, it contains ceramides that will boost your hair’s elasticity and moisture retention. With these top-notch ingredients, there’s no reason why Kerastase Densifique won’t work for users over 60. It’s made for thinning hair, which will help a lot in preventing further hair loss. Moreover, the Densifique collection is safe for color-treated hair. Another thing I like is the addictive smell of this shampoo, which is naturally scented using pink mint, bergamot, peony, and freesia. It also has hints of cedar and musk. If they make perfume versions of this, I’ll be covering myself with it! Overall, this shampoo is concentrated and not watered down like cheap products. It also eliminates the need to buy a separate conditioner. The only issue I have over Kerastase is the faulty bottle, but it never happened again in my succeeding purchases. Pros - Blended with hyaluronic acid - Contains ceramides - Made for thinning hair Cons - Some users say that it takes a long time to work on thinning hair. 7. Alterna Caviar Anti-Aging Shampoo If your aging hair is dry and brittle, the Alterna Caviar Anti-Aging Shampoo might be right for you. True to its name, it has caviar extracts, which are packed with Omega-3 fatty acids. This ingredient is a powerful tool to moisturize and improve the elasticity of damaged hair. This product also boasts of the proprietary Seasilk, which is a marine botanical blend that helps repair and restore damaged hair. In addition, the Alterna Caviar Shampoo has Age-Control Complex to undo the environmental and chemical damages that age your hair faster than it should. Aside from that, this shampoo is suitable for all hair types of both men and women. It locks in moisture to keep the hair shiny and soft. The best part is that this product is free from sulfates and paraben that could irritate your scalp. Moreover, this Alterna shampoo is safe for color-treated hair. Clinical trials also show that this formula provides thermal protection up to 450F. Despite that, I’ll still use a separate heat protectant when heat styling, just to be sure. Pros - Blended with real caviar extracts - Age-Control Complex - Suitable for all hair types Cons - I just wish they can make the container easier to open, especially for arthritic users. 8. RevitaLash Cosmetics Thickening Shampoo If you’re looking for a thickening shampoo, I highly recommend this one from RevitaLash Cosmetics. It has a photo-infused formula that will hydrate and thicken your hair with regular use. Moreover, this has plant-based ingredients to gently cleanse and hydrate your hair. It has a Loquat leaf and willow bark that boosts hair growth and exfoliates the scalp. This is also mixed with biotin for thicker-looking hair. And to make sure that your aging hair is moisturized, this shampoo has panthenol. The RevitaLash Cosmetics Thickening Shampoo is color-safe and free from sulfate detergents. It doesn’t contain phthalates or parabens, not to mention that it’s also cruelty-free. For a dermatologist-reviewed and clinically-tested formula, I don’t mind spending a few bucks. RevitaLash succeeded in formulating a shampoo that works for all hair types and colors without frills. Pros - Plant-based ingredients - Safe for colored hair - Boosts hair growth Cons - The smell is a little off-putting for some users. 9. Dominican Magic Anti-Aging Shampoo Set If you’re looking for a haircare kit, the Dominican Magic Anti-Aging Shampoo Set is an excellent option. This is composed of one shampoo, one conditioner, one leave-in conditioner, and one anti-aging scalp drop. It’s a complete set to rejuvenate and regain your aging hair’s glam. For the shampoo, your hair will be treated with a blend of botanicals that will help stimulate hair growth and prevent premature hair loss. It’s mixed with rosemary extracts, horsetail extracts, arnica extract, and peppermint oil. All of these will nourish and cleanse your scalp gently. Meanwhile, the Dominican Anti-Aging Conditioner in this package has coconut oil and ascorbic acid to lock in moisture to your hair. And if you’re in a hurry, the leave-in conditioner will also come in handy. Overall, these products are safe for color-treated hair. It gives a soft finish without weighing the hair down too much. And for this set, I can say that it’s already a steal for such a price tag. Users had noticed that their hair is less prone to breakage when they switched to the Dominican Magic. Pros - Blend of botanicals - Set of four hair care kit - It helps prevent premature hair loss Cons - I hope they will improve the bottle cap to prevent leaks. 10. Pantene Expert Pro-V Age Defy Shampoo My last pick for this list is the Pantene Expert Pro-V Age Defy Shampoo. It’s made to restore the vitality of damaged and aging hair. This shampoo will help fight seven signs of aging, including breakage, split ends, frizz, unruly grays, and lackluster color. It’s also a great choice for thinning look and dry hair. This shampoo has the Age Defy System with a triple-blend complex to lock in moisture on your hair. It’s also safe for color-treated tresses. Moreover, this Pantene shampoo is free from nickel, gluten, antibiotics, paraben, soy, and common allergens. It’s also safe for use on teens. The best thing about the Pantene Expert Pro-V is it’s very easy to find in most stores. While it’s more expensive than the other shampoo from the brand, it’s worth the purchase if you’re already over 60. This formula removes the need for a separate conditioner, which is a big plus for me. Pros - Triple-blend complex - Fights 7 signs of aging - Made for aging hair Cons - The perfume smell is a bit strong.

How to choose shampoo and conditioner for a hair over 60

Many of us don’t pay much attention to the shampoo and conditioners we use. As long as it lathers and smells good, it should do. But if you’re past 60, you have to be meticulous with the hair products you’re going to use. This is to prevent premature hair loss and damage brought on by old age. However, finding the best shampoo to use can be a challenging endeavor for some. To help you out, here are some of the things you should consider: Consider your scalp type. The very first thing you should think about is your scalp type. Your scalp is the skin on your head where all the hairs grow from. If it’s not conditioned well, your hair will also have poor quality. So how can you tell your scalp type? If it feels tight after shampooing or just by itself, your scalp is dry. This is the same thing if your scalp feels very itchy, even if you don’t have dandruff. If you have this scalp, you need a moisturizing shampoo that won’t strip your roots of too much oil. On the other hand, if your scalp is shinier than usual, you likely have an oily scalp. You’ll also notice your hair being too oily after a full night’s sleep. Unlike dry scalps, you need a cleansing shampoo for oily types. This is to prevent the roots from getting clogged and harboring dirt. However, there’s also the so-called ‘combination’ scalp, which is neither oily nor dry. With this type, it takes longer for the scalp to get oily after each wash. Drugstore shampoos will do here as long as the product is gentle and moisturizing. Check your hair type. Next, you have to consider your hair type. Here’s a quick rundown of the most common hair types and the suitable shampoo and conditioner for them: - Thick hair. For those over 60 with thick hair, they need a moisturizing shampoo that will lock in the moisture on each strand. This is to prevent the thick locks from being dry and manageable. - Fine hair. Unlike thick hair, fine hair requires a volumizing formula that won’t weigh the hair down. Read the full article

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jcmarchi · 7 months ago

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Achieving Diversity in Technical Roles Through Equitable Interviews - Technology Org

New Post has been published on https://thedigitalinsider.com/achieving-diversity-in-technical-roles-through-equitable-interviews-technology-org/

Achieving Diversity in Technical Roles Through Equitable Interviews - Technology Org

In the technology industry, there is an increasing focus on improving diversity and inclusion. However, interview practices often unintentionally disadvantage underrepresented groups. Studies show women, people of color, older candidates, and others face implicit bias during the interview process.

“We believe that interviews should never be a barrier to recognizing talent, skill, and ability in candidates regardless of their background,” says Dr. D Sangeeta, CEO of Gotara, an online business leadership acceleration platform used by over 30,000 women across 176 countries. “Our platform is built on empowering women across a multitude of industries to advance, and equitable interview practices are a necessity to make that possible.”

By taking proactive steps to remove bias from interviews, companies can work towards building more diverse, creative, and innovative teams. This article provides practical tips and guidelines for making interviews as fair and gender-neutral as possible.

Use Structured Interview Techniques

Unstructured interviews that rely on the “gut feeling” of the interviewer often introduce unconscious bias. Structured techniques that assess all candidates on the same predefined criteria can help reduce this. Some examples include:

Ask the same core technical questions of all candidates for a given role. Avoid asking different questions based on irrelevant factors like educational background.

Use standardized rating scales when evaluating responses instead of general impressions. Train interviewers on how to apply the scales.

Limit discussions around previous experience to focus on concrete skills a candidate possesses rather than perceived pedigree of past companies.

Prioritize Skills Over Cultural Fit

Seeking candidates that “fit” with company culture can reinforce homogeneity if not approached carefully. Technical skills should be the priority evaluation criteria. Only assess cultural alignment based on how a candidate demonstrates inclusiveness, cooperation and values that align with diversity goals.

“Seeking candidates that “fit” with company culture can reinforce homogeneity if not approached carefully,” explains Dr. D. Sangeeta, CEO of Gotara. “Technical skills should be the priority evaluation criteria. One always benefits from having complementary skills rather than a clone of themselves. When interviews are structured around skills rather than subjective impressions of candidates, it opens doors for those facing systemic biases and works towards undoing historical barriers many have faced.”

Train a Diverse Panel of Interviewers

Ensure women, people of color and other underrepresented groups are well-represented among the panel of technical interviewers. This helps reduce the impact of any one interviewer’s unconscious biases. Require all members to complete unconscious bias training regularly and train them how to conduct unbiased interviews, training that Gotara offers.

Conduct Interviews Remotely When Possible

In-person interviews allow subconscious biases related to race, age and appearance to seep in. Remote video interviews place more focus on responses and technical abilities. However, take care that communication differences across cultures are not penalized. Provide options for interviewees to ask clarifying questions.

Institute Blind Review Procedures

During initial screening stages, remove all identifying candidate details from resumes/applications before review. Later stages can reveal this information, but initial assessment remains tied to skills. Automated tools can help facilitate blind screening at scale.

Additionally, when possible conduct technical code reviews in a blind manner, hiding any indication of the author’s identity or demographic background to reduce the chance of implicit bias creeping in.

Standardize Evaluation of Experience

Ask candidates to describe projects and impact rather than rely on the notoriety of previous companies. Discount work experience timelines when assessing older candidates. Focus on relevant skills vs. years of experience, which can be indirectly influenced by systemic biases. Provide clear guidance on how this expectation is applied evenly across candidates.

Highlight Company DEI Commitments

Ensure candidates see a visible demonstration of diversity, equity and inclusion commitments from leadership. Share actionable plans and metrics around improving representation.

Allow candidates space to ask questions and assess your commitment to DEI as a company. Be prepared to address concerns around previous diversity numbers or experiences at your organization.

Support Growth from Day One

In your offer to the candidate, once they pass the interview process, demonstrate that you care about their future growth by offering upskilling and coaching in the first six months, like one of Gotara’s programs. Not only does this show your commitment, but it will significantly decrease ramp-up time for that candidate to become productive and proficient in the new role, leading to increase engagement and future retention.

Guide Interviewers on Inclusive Communication

Provide tips for avoiding exclusionary language and establishing an inclusive tone during interviews. For example, using gender-neutral pronouns until indicated otherwise and avoiding assumptions about family status.

Interview panel training should cover nonverbal communication as well, such as making eye contact with all candidates equally and being aware of any differential body language responding to certain demographics.

Encourage Interview Feedback

Gather structured feedback from all interview candidates on their experience, including perceptions of unfair bias or discrimination. Track trends to detect issues. Ensure a transparent process for safely reporting any incidents without fear of retaliation, which would suppress reporting.

Monitor Outcomes and Iterate

Collect voluntary demographic data during hiring and track offer rates across gender, race and other factors. If disparities arise in offer rates, analyze results to detect where bias enters the process. Refine approach to address issues. Report metrics and progress regularly to leadership.

Set Goals for Representation

Leadership should define clear targets for diversity at all levels of technical roles. Measure effectiveness of updated interview practices on hitting goals. Link outcomes to executive accountability. Make plans incremental to give adequate ramp up time but maintain urgency through regular check-ins.

Inclusive Interviewing Drives Real Change

Removing subtle but substantial biases from technical interviews is a complex undertaking but pays dividends in building a more diverse workforce positioned for innovation success. The above steps require dedication but enable organizations to tap talent that may have otherwise been left behind.

Updating technical interview approaches needs to be part of a comprehensive strategy focused on achieving diversity, equity and inclusion milestones. Paired with adjustments in outreach, hiring manager expectations, onboarding and corporate culture, equitable interviews can serve as a key lever in transforming representation.

“Removing subtle but substantial biases from technical interviews is a complex undertaking, but pays dividends in building a more diverse workforce positioned for innovation success,” says Dr. D Sangeeta, CEO of business leadership acceleration platform Gotara. “The ripple effect in innovation is immeasurable when teams reflect diverse perspectives.”

The technology solutions we build are powered by the creativity of our teams. Ensuring people from all backgrounds can equitably demonstrate qualifications will drive innovation that represents the full diversity of our users and moves society positively forward. But we will only unlock the full potential of our talent through a systemic commitment to progress on representation.

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raesnovelsblog · 1 year ago

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Synopsis from IMDB:

It's been eight years since the opening night tragedy of Hell House, LLC and still many unanswered questions remain. Thanks to an anonymous tip, investigative journalist Jessica Fox is convinced that key evidence is hidden inside the abandoned Abaddon Hotel-evidence that will shed light on the hotel's mysteries. She assembles a team equally hungry for answers with one goal: break into the hotel and discover the truth.

My review

Solid sequel. Follows the formula of the first one, but deviates slightly. Love the additional information about the crew from the first Hell House movie. The acting was weaker in this one for me. Not horrible, but a noticeable difference. Still a solid found footage movie with creepy clowns. Clowns will never not be terrifying.

Rating : 7/10

How does it treat…

Women? Pretty well. They have agency and aren’t there just to be tortured or saved.

Does it pass the Bechdel test? Yes. No relationships are discussed.

How long till a women speaks? 33 seconds

Relationships? Treated fairly.

Sex? N/A

LGBTQia+? N/A

Minorities? N/A

Older People? Seen, but not demonized because they’re old.

Mental Health? Mentioned, but not a plot point.

Kids? N/A

Animals? N/A

Tone

Was it fun? Kind of.

Was it worth it? Yes, but only so much as to complete a trilogy.

Rewatchability? Not as much as the first one.

Gore level? Minor. The blood budget is less than the first one.

Cliches

Tired?

Appropriate? Yes

Subverted?

Spoilerly thought beyond this. You have been warned.

Notes

That dude is way too old to be playing the character the mom is describing.

The ghosts are better at new technologies than I am.

They mastered text messages faster than my parents.

That piano tune is still creepy.

I’ve watched too many true crime shows because that reporters' intro shots are spot on.

Brock Davies!? Perfect douchie name for a medium.

Woman in the blue is not great at first. She kept looking at the camera. Her character knows she’s being filmed, but it still.

That’s a lot of police resources to keep a police car out front everyday.

“Not a trained professional paranormal investigator.” How does one go about becoming a professional paranormal investigator? Do you have to take classes? Is there a test? A certificate at the end?

Putting a rock against the door to keep it open is one of the smartest things in all of these movies.

Seeing a random person standing on the stairs and then not immediately leaving, is not smart. Although I think it was supposed to be a ghost thing.

Random latin on the wall trope, check.

Heard a noise and went to investigate, check. The door was open. It could be an animal or a homeless person.

Do not stop to pick up a hitchhiker. Just don’t.

What are the ghost rules? They were just in the house. Now they’re on the side of the road luring people in? Well, I guess Sarah did lure them back to the hotel in the first movie. At least they’re consistent.

Don’t go after her. The place is creepy and that woman isn’t right. If you’re that worried, call for help. You don’t follow her into the abandoned haunted place.

The teen in the booth next to the weird dancing couple is staring directly at the camera.

Don’t give Molly shit about not wanting to go inside.

They’re searching for a way in, but every other person has just sauntered in through a wide open door.

Don’t trust that wood piece in the door. Looks like it would slip out.

Why did Brock need to go to Abaddon with the film crew? He could have gone whenever?

Old timey portraits of children are inherently unnerving.

Random nooses equal get the fuck out.

The evil clown mannequins are back.

“Grab a box and start digging.” - Nope. You take those boxes outside and read them out in the daylight like smart people.

The pan to the woman staring at them is a great example of simple scares being highly efficient.

You’ve put a time limit on your excursion into the basement. Why waste time reading the menu?

Creepy clown walking around - world of nope.

Sending the guy by himself? These people don’t watch horror movies and it shows.

Ghosts can impersonate people now? These technological ghosts are impressive.

She’s fighting him on leaving. He warned you multiple times that they might all have to leave at a moment’s notice. Why are they acting surprised when he insists you leave?

Fuck Brock. He’s a grown man that you didn’t even want to come along.

Fuck that clown. He’s creepy AF. Just that slow movement was all I needed to send chills down my spine.

Mitchell, you've been smart up till now. Don’t stop now.

All that ghost women did was blink. I would have run away too.

Theorizing the ghosts were compelling Alex to stay in the hotel fits.

Are they in a room with no windows? Why not go out the window? If there isn’t a window, that’s a major safety violation.

Ghosts fucking with them on the walkie talkie, chef kiss.

So who supposedly is filming the meeting with Alex? Maybe the ghosts are trying to start their own reality show.

Why is he writing on those tapes with a dry erase marker?

That thing at the door looks like an off brand Leather Face.

Now the ghosts are leaving notes? But you were doing so well with the tech.

Molly’s with the clowns now. Her sacrifice was worthy. You move the fuck along.

The wall breaking open to show the lake of fire was okay. CGI is not their friend.

But that clown slowly moving towards them is.

Mentioned Russell Wynn. Set up the 3rd movie in the 2nd one. Good for them.

So did the ghosts cause the accident involving the real Arnold?

Arnold being Andrew Tulley was great.

“Pick up the camera.” They really want their own show.

Anytime you bring religion into it, the fright factor goes up.

Should have let the clown have Molly. Now she dies slowly from a stab to the abdomen.

So was Tulley trolling the internet looking for gullible people to send Hell House information too? How many other people have they contacted?

Killing her off camera is more effective than showing the murder.

Were the ghosts true to their word? Did they let Mitchell leave after he made his choice?

Anytime someone in a horror movie says “Do you trust me?” the automatic answer should be no.

#hellhousellc2 #hellhousellctheabaddonhotel #horrormovie #horrormoviereview #hauntedhouse #ghosts #foundfootage #foundfootagemovie #foundfootagefilm #lowbudget #creepyclowns #sequel #hiddengem #tubi #timelines #religious

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monarch-butterfly-03 · 1 year ago

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Loathing Desires - Chapter 2

"He did what!?" Joseph Walker shouted across the table and echoed through the small luxurious restaurant.

Venus sighed tiredly, staring at her wine glass and tracing the stem of the glass. She ignored the judgemental glances being shot their way by other customers from her brother's outlash. In her opinion, his response was justified.

"He is getting cocky and it is becoming a problem" Venus gritted her teeth in disgust. Her eyes dashed up to her younger brother who was sitting across from her with an identical annoyed expression. He was wearing his school uniform, a white button up and black slacks. Coming straight from school for a weekly lunch with his sister. His blonde hair was a mess as per usual. But the colour was identical to hers. Being a common trait in the Walker family.

"What are you going to do about it?" Joseph asked taking a sip of his imported sparkling water that filled a champagne glass. Something he always ordered when he was out with his sister to seem older for his age but Venus thought it was cute. But she would never admit that aloud to save him from public embarrassment.

Venus smirked and cocked her head. "You know me too well, Joey." Joseph chuckled and placed his arms on the table. "Have you heard of a Mr. Robert Downey?"

Jospeh nodded. "Yeah, the multi-millionaire who owns that technology company."

Venus hummed. "Rumours have it he is looking to find a new investor. Something about his old investors ripping him off and caused a ton of lawsuits. His people contacted me a week ago about a possible partnership." Jospeh's jaw went slack and Venus' cocky smirk grew.

"Ven, this is huge! This guy has his technology everywhere and a long list of partners. He is known to be very persuasive and practically half of his partners are with Holland Corp! If we partner with him, we would practically be getting all of Stark's partners! This would blow Holland Corp. out of business!" Joseph exclaimed excitedly.

Venus chuckled and nodded. "Exactly, Joey. This is exactly what Walker Enterprise needs to get on top and wipe that smirk of Holland's face."

Joseph leaned back in his seat arrogantly. "If you do this, I'm sure Dad would hand you the company on the spot. This could be it, Ven." He admitted with pride. Ever since Joseph was a kid, he looked up to his older sister. Regardless of the backlash or hated she got for being a women in business, Venus Walker pushed through and came out on top. She was Joseph's role model and he wanted to see his sister achieve this. This was her dream.

"It could be. Or it could be the end of Walker Enterprise." Joseph's expression fell at Venus' statement. "Rumour has it Mr. Downey also reached out to Holland Corp. for a possible partnership too. I'm not going to lose, Joseph. But there are risks in this." Venus admitted to her younger brother, her expression cold thinking of losing to the Hollands.

But that wasn't in her blood.

"There will always be losses in battles, Venus. But the Walker's will always win the war." Joseph reminded stubbornly.

Venus smirked at her younger brother. He was determined and hot-headed just like she was. Sometimes it scared her how close they were alike. "Agreed. But perhaps keep this on the down low from Mom and Dad. Last thing I need is Dad breathing down my neck about me fucking this up."

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone." Joseph promised. "But stop worrying, Ven. You are a way better CEO than anyone over at Holland Corp. You got this partnership in the bag."

Venus exhaled deeply and her gaze flickered back to her empty wine glass, tracing the tip of her manicured finger over the bottom of the glass. "I hope so, Joseph."

The rest of the day went by rather quickly. A few last-minute business calls occurred, the meeting with Armani went by smoothly, and Venus fired two employees for not reaching their quotas. So by the time Venus arrived home, the moon was high in the sky and Noir was fast asleep in his dog bed.

Venus doesn't even remembering changing, ordering take out, or turning on the television. But when she awoke the next morning on her living room couch fitted in a sports bra and sweatpants surrounded by empty take-out boxes, it finally occurred to her how exhausted she was yesterday. Which meant she would need an extra cup of coffee to get through today.

Because today was a very important day.

Today she would be having lunch with Robert Downey. She had booked a meeting with him to personally introduce herself and explain more about Walker Enterprise. Her tactic was simple. She would take the professional and organized approach; the "kill 'em with kindness" kind of shit. Venus was anything but kind when it came to business. But when an opportunity like this comes alone that could destroy her competition, she can bite her tongue and be somewhat civil.

Her morning routine went just like usual. Showering, doing her hair and makeup flawlessly, and changing into a jaw-dropping outfit. Today's outfit consisted of a white pantsuit, suited by a tan leather belt around her waist and tan slick heels. Unlike like yesterday, her hair was down to give a more natural approach.

She fed Noir before leaving to meet her car awaiting her in front of the complex. Within the next hour, she arrived to her office just on time. Throughout the drive she kept yawning repeatedly. So seeing Amelia was waiting in front of the building with a cup of coffee in her hand made Venus' heart skip a beat.

"You look extra cheerful today." Amelia teased her boss when seeing the bags under her eyes when she exited the car.

"Shut up and give me that coffee." Venus begged reaching out for the cup. Her assistant laughed and handed her the cup, walking away from her boss to grab her bags in the passenger seat.

"Another long night?" Amelia asked shutting the door behind her, glancing over to see Venus' chug down the coffee. Finishing every last drop in that styrofoam cup. "Okay, woah, looks like I'll make you another cup." Amelia teased

Venus exhaled heavily when she finished the cup leaving it empty in her hands. "Make it another pot." She grumbled.

Amelia's eyes fell worried watching her boss walk past her and into the building without waiting for her. She was used to Venus' snippy attitude and independent character but she has never seen Venus so drained. Other than Joseph and herself, Venus Walker doesn't have anyone to rely on. Even her lousy "boyfriend" doesn't bother texting her unless it is for a booty call.

There is no one checking up on her and that worried Amelia.

Amelia caught up to Venus in the elevator and the assistant kept glancing concerned glances Venus' way. But not a word was spoken during the small ride up. Venus kept her gaze forward and head raised staring at her reflection on the metal doors, not wanting to hear Amelia's useless comments about her not getting enough sleep or taking time for "self-care." Venus Walker can't afford wasting a second in her day. Perhaps that is why she has never been in a serious relationship.

But the magazines prefer to say it's because of her incredibly high standards. Which was also part of the truth.

The doors chimed open and Venus marched towards her office room, through the small waiting room and past Amelia's desk. "I'm going to be answering emails until my lunch today. Unless it is a family emergency or to fill my coffee up, I do not want any interruptions until lunch. I have a lot to do before lunch today and can't afford distractions." Venus spoke back to her assistant, walking straight to her desk and falling into her white leather chair.

Amelia couldn't walk any further into the room than the doorframe. She watched in concern as her best friend and boss quickly got to work without wasting a second. It was an unhealthy habit but knew she couldn't say anything against it. Instead she let out a sad sigh and nodded.

"Yes, Miss. I will have that coffee for you in a minute."

Amelia left the room and closed the door behind her leaving Venus in her pile of endless emails. The blonde didn't realize the concern from her friend when she began typing away at her keyboard. Overworking herself like usual to distract her from any emotions she may feel.

In the span of five hours, Amelia had lost track of how many cups she refilled and Venus lost track to how much coffee she consumed. Each time Venus buzzed Amelia, the assistant would watch Venus warily while filling the cup with the pot in her hand. Venus would mutter a thank you under her breath but would never meet Amelia's eyes, her eyes too busy flickering over her computer screen.

Amelia has been Venus friend for the past few years so she picked up on things others tend to overlook. Like Venus addiction to coffee when she was stressed out. And it was obvious, Venus was beyond stressed about this lunch meeting. But her ego was too big to admit that aloud. Yet Amelia noticed.

When the time came, Venus knee was bouncing under her desk and her heart was racing in her chest. Perhaps all that coffee wasn't a good idea but she was more alert and ready than ever. Her replies to emails became sloppy and filled with grammatical mistakes noticing the meeting was approaching. And soon, it was time to meet the man who could potentially destroy or complete Walker Enterprise.

A soft knock at the door was followed by it opening gently. Amelia poked in her head and smiled faintly but her eyes were still filled with concern. "It's time to go. The car is awaiting out front." She stated calmly.

Venus exhaled deeply and nodded, finalizing the email and sending it. She stood up and brushed her hair behind her ear, walking over the white leather couch beside the wall to grab her bag from it. Amelia opened the door wider and stepped in the room, allowing Venus to walk out ahead of her but her eyes followed her nervously.

Venus got to the elevator and bit down on her bottom pink lip when pressing the button. Amelia was close behind her, knowing this is where they were to separate. Amelia wasn't needed in buisness meetings unless they were group meetings. From this point on, Venus would have to take care of this on her own. The door chimed open and Venus exhaled deeply stepping into the metal shaft. She pressed the button to the main level, turning around to face Amelia who was smiling nervously on the other side of the door.

"Deep breaths, Ven. You got this."

The doors shut before Venus could respond her gratitude. Instead she was left alone with her anxious thoughts. Does she got this? Can she really do this or will she destroy everything her family created?

Venus exhaled deeply and shut her eyes. What was she doing?

Venus' black SUV rolled to a stop in front of the luxurious Beau's restaurant that even Gordon Ramsey couldn't find anything to complain about. It has been debuted in multiple food articles and television shows of one of the best places to eat in the world. It is exclusive to only A-listed celebrity to divert the public eye. Making this a perfect and isolated spot for a business meeting or other scandalous meetings.

The driver got out and walked around the car, opening Venus's door and offered his hand assisting her out of the vehicle. Her eyes remained glued to the restaurant door but hummed her gratitude when she stepped out of the car. Her feet moved forward before she could comprehend what was happening or tip her driver. Walking to the door with confidence and wealth, ready in case a photo was taken of her. The doorman opened the door and flashed her a kind smile which Venus didn't notice. She was trying to calm her caffeinated heart that was beating out of control. Behind the wooden slick doors stood the hostess who welcomed her with a kind smile, knowing exactly who she was.

"This way, Ms. Walker." She gestured her hand implying for the billionaire to follow her. Venus followed behind her through the restaurant that was decorated with wood and gold in the dimmed lighting. The sculptures and paintings all matched the tone to the restaurant. But the high roofs creased by gold and dozens of famous customers sitting around explained how expensive the menu was.

The hostess stopped in front of a table near the corner, as per Venus request. Away from people looking and eavesdropping in their business conversation. The small table covered by a white tablecloth was already set with cutlery and a centrepiece. It was big enough to fit two seats on either side. And one of them was already occupied.

Robert Downey rose from his chair when seeing Venus approach and smiled kindly in her direction. Venus swallowed her fear and plastered on a smile in return. He raised his hand and Venus shook it upon approach.

"Ms. Walker, I am so pleased we could finally meet in person rather than silly emails." Robert gleamed and took a seat back in his seat.

"As am I, Mr. Downey. But please, call me Venus. That is my mothers name." Venus sat down in the opposite seat across from Robert and felt her heart throbbing in her chest. She had never been so anxious for a business meeting before but she couldn't help it. So much was at stake.

"I insist you call me Robert. I feel far too old when I get called that." Robert chuckled.

Venus hummed with a soft smile in response. "As you wish, Robert. I hope I didn't keep you waiting." She admitted, her nervousness appearing slightly through her tone.

Robert simply waved his hand dismissing the question. "Nonsense, I was the early one. Honestly, I have been quite eager about hearing more about Walker Enterprise." He placed his arms on the table interestedly and gleamed at the girl across from him.

Venus sat up straighter and her mouth curved up in a smile. "I am eager to tell you all about it. But before we get into business, may I recommend a bottle of Jasci Chardonnay? It is one of my favourites." The corner of her mouth quirked up.

"Venus, drinking Chardonnay at a business meeting? Is that professional?" Tony's forehead creased with disappointment and his eyes narrowing on the woman across him.

Venus chuckled under her breath and shook her head. "I would have offered whiskey but I cannot stand the taste of it. I may be a CEO but I am still a lady, Robert. I am fond over wine, not hard liquor."

Robert's disappointment quickly turned into a wide smile, laughing at her response and rubbed a hand over his beard. "You certainly have character, Venus. You remind me of a younger version of myself." He chuckled.

If Venus nerves were showing, Robert didn't mention them. She was relieved of that and gave a tight-lipped smile in gratitude. A waiter came over and took their order before leaving the two to talk alone about business. After sharing about her background and family, Venus felt herself relax a bit. Robert seemed intrigued on what she was talking about, whether it was her family or business. Constantly asking questions, such as how is Walker Enterprises stocks doing and how Joseph is enjoying high school. Robert Downey was definitely a likeable man. He was such a people-person who was able to make any conversation a friendly one. Just like how the public views him.

But Venus could say with absolute confidence that this meeting was going better than she expected.

"Well Venus," Robert spoke. "I am impressed. You are 22-"

"21." Venus corrected.

"Wow, 21 and running a company beside your father. I have met other businessmen who have been in this business for longer than you've been alive yet aren't half the leader you are, Ms. Walker. Honestly, I am very impressed on your entire presentation." Robert admits with a wide grin, taking a sip from his wine glass. "Plus your taste in wine is exceptional."

Venus quirked a grin and gave a small nod. "Thank you, Robert."

Robert stared at Venus across the table studying her for a moment. His eyes sized her up, narrowing on her expression and his grin grew on his lips making Venus slightly uncomfortable. She was used to men staring at her, whether it was out of hatred, admiration, or lust. But none of them was like this.

"Is there something wrong?" Venus snipped, her eyes peered into a slightly angered one. Not enjoying to be stared at like that during business meetings.

Robert sat up straighter realizing his mistake and cleared his throat. "Sorry if I made you uncomfortable. You just remind me a lot like another businessman I met a few days ago. You two share the same admiration for your work and are both quite independent for being so young." Venus nodded along, relaxing slightly from the clarification. "His name is Tom Holland, perhaps you met him before?" Robert asked raising an eyebrow curiously.

Venus stiffened at the name and felt her jaw involuntarily clench. Of course she heard that name. It was the name that mocked hers in the papers and she despised since birth. She forced a smile and nodded slowly, glaring down at her half empty glass of wine. "I have heard of that name." She admitted monotoned. "He and I just don't get along well."

Robert nodded understanding and observed her reaction from across the table. "Ah, I've read the papers about the competition between your two companies feud. I hope my partnership with either business won't influence this feud?" He asked surveying her movements.

Venus drew her gaze up to Roberts and shook her head. "Don't worry, Robert. The feud we have is personal. And I do not mix my personal life and business together."

Robert smiled a lopsided grin. "Glad to hear that, Venus. You are an excellent representation of your family's company and I would love to invite you to a social I am hosting Friday afternoon. For those partner's I am considering, I want to get to know them in a social setting. So, I am hoping to see you there to discuss more about this possible partnership."

"I would be honoured, Robert." Venus quirked her head and gave a cocky smile.

Robert clasped his hands together and grinned. "Wonderful. Now I hate to rush off but I promised my wife that I would pick up my kids from school. I look forward of discussing more on Friday.

"As am I, Robert."

#tom holland #tom holland x oc #harrison osterfield #harry holland

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ultimate-hr-solutions · 2 years ago

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Talent Acquisition Management Tips and Tricks

It can be difficult to find the ideal candidate for a specific position. Regardless of the state of the economy and your talent pool, to succeed long-term, your business should be able to hire and retain the best, most talented employees. But hiring can be a daunting task, which is why you need a talent acquisition strategy.

To succeed long-term, it's critical you attract and retain talented employees regardless of vacant roles. Talent acquisition or Hr consultancy in dubai can help you do this, while solving for long-term organizational needs.

Align with your business goals: Consider your business goals for the next one to five years, and use those objectives to tailor your acquisition strategy to meet those needs. While recruitment tends to focus on filling vacancies within departments, talent acquisition is more about considering how your company is going to expand long term and then finding employees who can help take you there. Certain roles might not even exist yet, but you'll want to consider what type of talent you'll need to hit your business's long-term goals. Remember, investing in the right candidates will pay off for your company, long-term.

Use data and marketing to create better acquisition material: Talent acquisition should be treated with just as much importance as any of your marketing campaigns. Convincing people to join your company is just as necessary as incentivizing people to buy your products. Additionally, your HR team should partner with your marketing department to refine job descriptions, career pages, emails, and more.

Expand outreach strategies: To find better talent, you'll need to expand your sourcing strategies. Different skill sets require different methods of outreach. You'll find your best marketers in a different place than your best programmers, so you'll want to diversify your sourcing approach. Rather than spending all your time on LinkedIn, consider other specialized job boards, academic programs, or networking events where you might find a specific group of talented professionals.

Build your company brand: Millions of millennials and older Generation Z candidates make up the current job force. This group of potential employees came of age with the internet and social media. In researching your business, these individuals look at social media accounts, websites, and job boards to understand your work culture. Note the focus on employees. A company that focuses on the well-being of its staff is a place where people will strive to work. Building your company identity to reflect a positive, expanding environment can be an effective tool in your talent acquisition strategy.

Emphasize the company’s corporate social responsibilities: Companies have taken a step back from policies that only benefit them. Your company needs to focus on pursuing its goals while benefiting others. Your company’s corporate social responsibilities (CSR) are a considerable tool for attracting top candidates aligned with your organization’s values and beliefs. On the career landing page for your company, your CSR should be immediately noticeable through images and videos throughout the page. If your company focuses on diversity and inclusivity, demonstrate that.

Offer updated work options: The COVID-19 pandemic reshaped the American work model. Talent acquisition specialists adapt their work models to conduct online onboarding versus meeting candidates face-to-face. As the workforce evolves with more technological advances, workers will strive for more work/life balance.

Design a competitive and comprehensive benefits plan: When it comes to compensation packages, employees may be willing to accept a lower salary if balanced by comprehensive health benefits e.g. medical, vision, and dental. Employees want good health benefits, and that includes mental health.

Promote internal diversity: Many industries are dominated by men leading to women feeling underrepresented within the company's culture. While the number of women in the workforce has increased significantly over the last few decades, men still hold most positions of power. To build a diverse and inclusive culture, your company needs to give a voice to people from a wide range of backgrounds.

Add other incentives: When talented candidates are comparing companies, they're going to consider values, culture, and work-life balance, too. By cultivating an impressive employer brand, you'll attract better talent and find more long-term success.

It's important to broadcast these unique attributes through employee review sites as well as your "About Us" page on your company website. When highly qualified people are contemplating your company over your competitors, it just might be those reviews that end up convincing them.

#bestrecruitmentagencyindubai #recruitmentagencyindubai #besthrconsultancyindubai #hrconsultancyindubai #uhrs

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walnutweblinks · 2 years ago

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Walnut Weblinks // January 30, 2023

Single but Not Lonely: Living Well While Unmarried

We’re All Creatives

It’s Not You, It’s Them! Letters To a Young Pastor at a Multilingual Church

How I Prayed for Monterey Park

Joseph Forgave His Estranged Brothers. So Can You?

The Beauty of Silver Hair: Why Churches Need Older Women

Does Technology Help or Hurt Dating?

What They Believe About Jesus: An Interview on Faithful Disobedience

An Open Letter to a Struggling Mom

Turn Down the Noise and Listen to Jesus

Writing Advice with Esther Liu, Author of “Shame: Being Known and Loved”

After Shooting, California Churches’ Lunar New Year Celebrations Turned Solemn

Talking About the 2022 SOLA Network Magazine with Hannah Chao

Mom, Follow Jesus

6 Tips for Cultivating Little Readers

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pointnorthitservice · 2 years ago

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Work at Home - Work From Home

The first question most people ask when starting a discussion about WAHM information is "What's a WAHM?" It is an acronym for "Work at Home Mom" (or Mother). WAHM is a WAHM, which means that they are not only a SAHM (Stay At-Home Mom), but also a mom who has made the decision to work from home.

The Who in this conversation is obviously a mother. You could find her married or single with one or more children. You could find her a mother to a baby or an older mom. Whatever her role, she's decided that working from home is better than working outside the home.

It is possible that the When will occur after a woman becomes a mother. It could be because she believes it is in her best interest to find a better way to solve the daycare problem and to avoid the rigid employment requirements that come with a JO-B. It was not so easy for women to make ends meet at home when there weren't many opportunities. The Internet and technological advances have made it possible to work from home.

The Why depends on the mother. There may be travel costs, convenience, flexibility in work hours, a feeling of motherly duty, or the love and desire to take care of her children. She may also have the passion and talent in a particular area and would like to start her own company. This is why she can work remotely Work from home solutions.

What about the Where? You smugly reply, "Obviously, it's at my Mom's house." But the answer needs to be more specific. What exactly is her business location in the house? Is it enough to have a desk in one room? Or will she need a professional office for clients meetings? She must be careful not to blur the lines between home and business, no matter where the home office is. Too often, work-at-home moms allow toys and children to creep into their workspace, disrupting her work. Although she was meant to be with her kids, she must have her own space to focus on her work.

There are many ways to make money with the How. You can run many businesses from your home, whether you are selling products or providing services. The obvious ones include running eBay auctions and direct selling such as home parties, or websites selling products fulfilled by drop shippers. But they're just the tip. People assume that a MOM working from home is self-employed. However, this is not always true. Women may prefer to work for someone else. Some women don't want to start a business or deal with the headaches and responsibility that comes with being self-employed. She may instead apply for a job as a telecommuter with a company. It doesn't matter if she is employed by someone else or if she owns the business, it is important that she presents a professional image to her boss and clients. Her employer might think she's lazy and her clients might not believe she's serious about her business.

With any luck, the information provided here has encouraged a few potential MOMs to work at home to have the rewarding experience of taking care of their children and earning an income. The cautious MOMs who work from home may consider working part-time until they are certain that this is the right option for them.

#work from home

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dezz111 · 2 years ago

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Funerals Are Cheaper than College: The Fatalistic Humor of Gen Z and Our Rising Depression

“Bold of you to assume I want to live.”

I can already feel the pearl clutchers gasping in offense and concern at these words. But hear me out. The average funeral with the viewing, embalming and all that good jazz costs between $7,000 - $12,000. That price tag drops dramatically to a pretty $350 if you decide to do cremation since the funeral home can usually do it in house. The average college can cost roughly $25,000 for four years. Four years that you might need to tack on some extra time depending on your major. So as you can see, funerals are cheaper than college. By a long shot.

“Guess I'll die.”

College is super expensive and life is already stressful enough as it is without the crippling weight of student debt. Now ok Boomers, I can hear some of you asking “What stress could we possibly have?” And I’d be more than happy to read back facts to you if I knew how such a thing felt. But because I’m from Gen Z and relish chaos, I’ll sum it up.

We’ve grown up with:

911

Regular School Shootings

Bombings

Several Natural Disasters

Mass Shootings in General

A Civil War

Civilian Murders by Those Meant to Protect

A Pandemic

And many other things

All this before 25. I’d say we’re pretty traumatized. To quote Summer Smith, “B*tch my generation gets traumatized for breakfast!”

We live in a technological age where everything is at the tip of our fingers. I'm writing this very piece on my phone where it will automatically upload to the cloud and be ready to update from any device. Older generations may claim that this has made us inattentive to what's happening around us as we become so absorbed in social media and our dumb jokes. But it's because we are too aware of the world that we're like this. Everything is right there.

And we're seeing it as it happens.

Remember that list of things we've lived through I provided with apparent glee? That was the trademark cynicism that we use to protect ourselves. We are reliving history with better weapons and coverage. We don't have the luxury of simply turning away from something we don't want to see. A shooting happens and we see it on six different channels from thirty different angles. You can scroll as much as you want but you'll see that same disaster on every feed as it gets shared over and over. A murder that might have taken a few days to reach a city can now reach the nation in seconds. We know everything. And it hurts.

Everyone has coping methods and ours just happens to be the one people take the most offense to: humor. We don't make our jokes in jest, it's simply how we process it. We can't simply tune out what makes us uncomfortable. Turning off our own phones makes it easier to hear someone else's. It's inescapable. We can only sit back, watch and listen as our whole world continues to go up in flames.

And so we make our jokes.

We put together our draft list for World War III in order to ease the foreboding sense of terror at how close it is. We compare the security of government buildings to that in video games and books to ease the fear of how easy it was to storm the Capital. We put together funny clips comparing the blast radius of bombs to hold back the absolute anxiety of how easy it would be for one man to wipe us out with the push of a button. We make memes about everything that scares us because we have no other way to cope.

“This is fine.”

Our parents may tell us to try therapy but for us, it's not a viable option for everyone. Trauma has become something of an entertainment value for older generations. True crime is the most popular genre of podcasts amongst women. Crime shows such as Law & Order (Which has been airing since 1999 and has 23 seasons. Let that sink in a moment.) are topping the charts and breaking records. Medical dramas fill countless blocks of the tv guide. Movies based on true stories of highly traumatizing events fill theaters. We are surrounded by our triggers and told to watch as “these are real things that we need to learn about”. When we argue against it and declare our discomfort, we are labeled uncaring or selfish. It's hard to open up or seek help when our emotional shortcomings are summed up as a “bad attitude”.

Having therapists complaining about our trauma dumping on Tik Tok isn't very encouraging either.

And thus we get to the root of our problem: depression. Uncertainty is the pandemic of this generation, a far worse disease than Covid in some cases. Studies performed by the American Psychological Association have shown that only 45% of Gen Zers report their mental health as very good or excellent - a number that pales in comparison to Millenials (56%), Gen Xers (51%) and Boomers (70%). Gen Z has been coined as the “most depressed generation”, with over 37% seeking out mental health counseling or therapy. There was a 30% increase in suicide between 2006-2016, peaking in youths 2017. We are chronically stressed, most of us coming of age within the last four years. Housing costs have never been higher, the economies destabilized, our school lives completely uprooted.

It's hard enough to be a member of Gen Z without becoming something of a caretaker to your younger siblings now that everyone is trapped inside and has to do online learning.

Anxiety rose by 25%, people ages 20-24 making the largest leaps in numbers in 2020.The rate of depression had jumped by nearly 33% in 2021. The isolation has taken a serious toll that has been further compounded by the lack of mental care. Areas of lower income reported that school counselors were the only source of mental health services. School is stressful enough.

Let's move to the fun part of trying to find a job.

At this point we wish we were back in grade school where the most stressful thing was deciding between the orange crayon or the yellow color pencil for the sun. We've got student debts breathing down our necks and a resume with no references other than McDonald's and that job you worked at a summer camp. Jobs don't want to hire you without appropriate references. They want a masters degree and five years of experience despite this being your first interview. And you're probably not even going to get hired for something your degree is in. Don't forget that student debt, which will take twenty years to pay off as you struggle to survive off of that biweekly check that's barely above minimum wage. Maybe if you're lucky you'll get a nice office job… as an intern. In a struggling job market, you're sure to have everything in life!

So sorry if our last two brain cells have a little trouble processing our trauma in a way that protects the feelings of others. But we have to face the fact that Gen Z is traumatized as hell and we became super ( note the heavy sarcasm ) adjusted through humor dark enough to resurrect the Black Plague. Not that Covid's any better...

"Aight, Imma head out."

#blog #gen z post

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idga-buck · 4 years ago

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Some and Others, 1/?

Bucky wasn’t looking for a relationship, he was looking for a good night’s sleep, but when he found you he got more than he bargained for.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 5,758

Content: swearing, soft smut (18+ only), Bucky being clueless, IW and EG just didn’t happen? idk, everyone’s alive and living in the compound #classic, also me fitting in a bunch of information that probably wasn’t necessary for the first chapter but what’s a story without a sturdy foundation?

After a mission, Bucky is some kind of way. Steve is too careful with him, but he doesn’t exactly blame the captain. Plus as an uncommissioned officer, 70 years without promotion, who is he to disagree. Maybe he isn’t ready for a life of avenging. Certainly isn’t ready for the questions that will follow another sleepless night, so Bucky didn’t stay in. He went out.

His memory wasn’t what it used to be, but Bucky recognized your street the second he’d stepped onto it. He’d parked his bike in the grassy alley on his right, gotten coffee at the Caribbean supermarket across the street when he finally left that afternoon. Technology wasn’t his strong suit, despite his depth of interest in it. There was etiquette and a way to do things that were as nuanced as they were mysterious. Bucky often wondered if people just lived by their own set of rules, leaving everyone else in the dark and only interacting with the persistent few who engaged correctly. He didn’t have the patience for that sort of thing. Shuri reminded him of that more than he cared for, but in terms of debts owed, he could smile through her jokes for a lifetime after the second chance she’d given him.

Bucky Barnes was a ladies man… at some point in his life, but more accurately, his life had been colored with women stronger than him since the day he was born. His mother was the first to hold him, followed shortly after by the older sister who tried to sell him to the milkman. Luckily Mr. Spenser wasn't in the market for a throw away babe and Bucky got to grow up in a house dominated by women. His sister, his mother, his grandmother with the accent that was just gibberish outside of their living room, the two more sisters that were welcomed in after him, though he’d never dream of bartering them away for bubble gum. They were all loud, but kind and could always bring a smile to his face. Even still. Rebecca, the most distant in age, but the closest in spirit, was still living. His baby sister was all grown up to the point of growing back down, shrinking in on herself the way old women do. Bucky made regular trips to the Alzheimer’s care center, sitting with her and loving her as only a brother could. Though her recollection of recent history was gone, Rebecca Barnes could still pinpoint the exact moment that all her girlfriends fell in love with her brother, which made Bucky shake his head and laugh. Her CNAs were worried for her mind when Rebecca introduced them to her big brother, looking closer to a man in his 30s than a man from the 30s, but he assured them that she was correct. He hadn’t changed a bit, she told him with two wrinkled hands on his cheeks. In appearance, not as much as he should have, but in all the other ways people usually mean, Bucky couldn’t feel more disconnected from the man he was when Rebecca was all bright eyes and secret kisses under the corner store awning. Bucky had no problem leveling those boys with a stare back then, but now most of them wouldn’t think twice before using their canes as a switch across his shins just for cocking an eyebrow in their direction. Talking to his mother wasn’t possible anymore and his sister wasn’t in a state to give out girl advice. Shuri was on another continent. Natasha… was Natasha and he would never ask for her help with something like this. Wanda was usually awake late at night when he was, but she was still so young.

Bucky looked up from the street, noting your second floor windows were dimly lit. Golden squares stood out against the bricks, blackened by the late hour, and through the gauzy curtains he spotted movement. Without his mother to advise against it or Shuri to give him something better to do, Bucky reached for his phone and scrolled through the recent calls. You’d called yourself before he left, but thinking that he wouldn’t see you again, Bucky hadn’t actually saved the number. Something of a bad habit, he noted, scrolling through lines and lines of unrecognized and unsaved phone numbers, hoping he’d just know it when he saw it. He didn’t.

Until one appeared on its own, presenting him a choice. Answer or reject. A simple question with unknown consequences. Rejecting the call seemed safer, so Bucky pressed the red circle and resumed his search.

“Weren’t you a spy or something?” Your voice drew Bucky’s eyes up from his phone screen to the now open window above his head. You were leaning out a bit, the posture helping your voice to carry over the surprisingly still busy street.

“Somethin’,” he grinned, pocketing the useless device. Both hands secured in his jacket, Bucky tipped back on his heels to get a better look at you. “Gonna invite me up?”

You shrugged and planted your palms against the window sill to lift yourself up. Even from that angle, Bucky was transfixed by your cleavage. Subtle under the tank top you wore, but he remembered it fondly. As if you could hear his thoughts, your arms snapped closed over your chest, bringing the colorful wings of a kimono with them, shielding yourself with floral patterns and defensive body language that made him take a step backwards. “You didn’t call…” you said and though accurate, your accusation made Bucky regret what he was about to do. After waking from the best night’s sleep of his life, he said he’d call you. No amount of self love could bring that much refreshment into his life and the feeling of waking up after a deep and dreamless sleep was enticing enough. The sex was good for a one off sort of thing, Bucky would even say great, but the sleep that came after… he hadn’t been able to replicate it yet. The lure of a good night's sleep and the softness of your body against all of his rough edges were too strong to stop him now. He was committed to this indiscretion, but before he could defend himself, you’d moved on, already smiling again. “And you just ignored my call.”

Bucky’s eyebrows furrowed and lifted in quick succession before he pulled the phone from his pocket again. Saved. And for good measure, he pulled it up to his ear again. You frowned, turning away from the window, presumably to look for your phone. The glass slid shut behind you and Bucky bounced on the balls of his feet while he waited for the metallic purr in his ear to be replaced by something even better.

“What are you doing?” You said over the line.

“Hey, it’s Bucky-“ he heard you stifle your own laughter with a choked ‘oh my god’ in the background. “Remember me?” You hummed and Bucky waited with his eyes on your window. When you didn’t return, he kept talking. “I know it’s late, but I was just in the neighborhood-“ another quiet giggle made him smile as he spoke. “You up?”

“Is this Bucky Barnes’ first booty call?” You asked.

“I guess it is…” he said, half his mouth curving up even though you couldn’t see it. “How’m I doin’ so far?” There was a pause and Bucky started moving toward your door on instinct. It was illogical to think something had happened in those few seconds, but after the day he’d had Bucky didn’t feel confident ruling it out. “Making me nervous out here, doll.”

“You’re doing just fine,” you assured him and Bucky leaned back against the door in relief. “I was about to go to bed… but since you came all this way-“ the end of your sentence was cut off by the loud buzzing in his ear as the lock on the door disengaged from above. Bucky stepped into the first hall, street lamp making the small row of Golden mailbox fronts glitter, and leisurely took the first few steps up. “Better hurry,” you sighed and Bucky stopped, foot hovering over the next step. “Door’s unlocked and I’m already naked.” Bucky was in your apartment and snapping all three locks into their closed position before you’d had the chance to hang up from his impromptu phone call.

You fucked him slowly that night. The rush he felt taking your stairs two at a time dissipated once he was in your bedroom. It wasn’t as frantic or fumbling as it had been the first time and Bucky was happy for the change. When he’d followed you home from the bar, it seemed that both of you had an understanding. One night only, so make it count. It was hard and fast, but so so good. Even the next morning’s repeat and the finale in your shower before he finally pulled away sated had been more like back to back sprints than whatever this gentle marathon was. As if you could feel the stress that Bucky needed to let go of, you moved carefully around him. Totally bare in the bluish glow of the bathroom plug in that lit the scene before him, you took your time undressing Bucky and placing his hands back at his sides whenever he tried to help move things along. When you dropped to your knees, leaving him open and vulnerable standing naked in the middle of your bedroom, he made a sort of wounded noise that made him want to bolt, but didn’t seem to bother you. If anything it spurred you on, drawing more whispers from his rosebud lips until he couldn’t take it anymore. For the first time in his life, Bucky begged for more attention. Not the teasing he did on street corners- come on, baby, you’re breaking my heart here- when a dame tried extra hard to resist his charm. This was real pleading as if he thought he’d die frozen in place without your heat to revive him.

He’d made the right choice. Bucky decided while lying across your bed, one hand twisted up in your pillow case while the other was splayed across your bare thigh, that he’d done the right thing coming to you for this. He could have gone back to that bar or a different one and gone home with another girl just like he had with you, but then he’d be missing the view from under you. Having a new girl everytime Bucky found himself feeling restless sounded exhausting. He’d also determined that his mother would be incredibly disappointed in him if he had rows and rows of unsaved phone numbers from girls that didn’t know they were being used. Finally and maybe most importantly in that moment, Bucky didn’t want to start over with someone brand new. He liked your crumpled linen sheets, liked the smell of ink from the printing studio beneath your apartment. While you rode him to mutual satisfaction, he liked the way your hips rolled sensually over his, liked the slick grind and the dull bite of your nails against his stomach. He liked that after your first, when he asked you to slow down again and extended his hands to you, you took each of them without hesitation. Supporting your weight on outstretched arms, Bucky got to enjoy your hands in his while you gasped out a second. If it had been your first time sleeping together, you’d probably be too prideful or embarrassed to admit that you were tired. He wouldn’t have gotten to hear that whine when you asked if he was close and he replied -smugly- not at all. If it had been your first time together, he’d probably be too prideful or embarrassed to ask you how you wanted him. He wouldn’t know how sweet it felt to have your back pressed up against his chest and he wouldn’t have known to turn you onto your side so he could slip in from behind you. Bucky was so comfortable in your bed with your knee hitched up over his hip, body totally open to his roaming hands. He made the right choice coming back to you and as he finished with a grunt, both arms wrapped around you tight while your arm was bent over his head, gripping his hair with the perfect amount of tension, he’d already decided to make it again.

The next morning, Bucky was refreshed, feeling like a brand new man. That was the feeling he’d been chasing last night or rather very early that morning, but the tightening in his lower body followed by ultimate release was a fine way to get there. Just like last time, he’d woken up alone only to find you in the bathroom, washing sleep from your eyes and fixing your face. His enhanced hearing meant he could listen to the tap running and the echoing “puh” of you spitting into the sink without having to open his eyes. Comfortable and naked against your pillows letting the familiar sounds tell the story of your morning routine. He didn’t mind waiting as long as you crawled back in beside him like last time. Bucky only peeked twice before he heard the zipper of your makeup bag close and the magnet on your medicine cabinet snap shut behind the mirror. You were back with him in a moment and he turned toward your scent, aloe fresh deodorant and sharp minty breath beckoned him closer and he hummed against your lips. If he cared to move, he’d swallow down the remainder of your mouthwash then swap cool kisses until his tongue tingled against yours, but he was so comfortable. Even more so once you’d laid across his chest, bumping your nose and chin against his until he opened his eyes. Bucky dropped his arms heavily across your back, keeping you planted against him, though you hadn’t struggled or made any moves to leave him. He couldn’t have that with someone new. If he swapped your number for someone else’s, he’d have to flirt and wade through the post sex awkwardness again. He’d have to go out more and hope his charm would work on another. He’d have to perform for them the way he had for you the first two times. The third, in your shower, was messy and wet and fun despite the soap in his eyes, which you wiped away for him while his hands were occupied by holding you up. He wouldn’t have that with someone new until he made it happen and frankly he didn’t want to make it happen. Not yet. Not when you were still cute and still into him and still happy to hear from him even at 2 in the morning when he looked like a creep under your window. Why trade all that just to say he could have another then another? Sex was good. That morning stuff was good too. If it was the orgasm that made him feel alive again, then the warmth of your bed and your lips drifting lazily down his chest was what made life worth living. One gal was enough for him. You were enough.

Bucky hadn’t even noticed that he was drifting off again until you spoke. He didn’t hear you, but he sure it didn’t matter and responded with some ta sentiment of his own. “Thanks. For this.”

“Thank you,” you corrected and he smirked at that, eyes still blissfully closed. “Hey, uh— Bucky…” You sounded nervous and he had to force his eyes open at the sound of your voice shaking around his name. You must have noticed his sudden concern and placed a hand soothingly over his chest. “I just…” you bit your lip and Bucky watched the wheels churn behind downturned eyes. It was sweet, the way you could flip from bold and sexy to this. An errant curl fell out of its place and he felt the desire to pull that twisty rebel between two fingers before moving it back to follow the part you’d intended all the up to his second knuckle. Your hair was the kind he wanted to touch over and over. Not because it was your hair per se, but rather because it didn't have that acrid home perm smell or a hundred little pins holding it in place like his sisters and the other girls he ran around with. They spent hours on their waves and rolls, but you flipped a fist full to one side, fluffing it with your fingers when you wanted his attention and damn if it didn’t work everytime. Before he knew it, a vibranium finger against your temple, following the curve of your ear. Your stunned look made Bucky chuckle. He even patted your cheek in encouragement. After a beat, you were gathered again. Another breath and you spoke. “I just wanted to say, I don’t really do this sort of thing.” His eyebrow shot up at that and you scrambled to correct yourself. “Not this,” you half laughed then gestured to his naked body and yours, hardly clothed. “The bringing strangers home from bars thing. I definitely wasn’t expecting to see you again- not that I didn’t love it- I just didn’t want you to think-“

“I think you’re amazing,” he said quickly to assure you he didn’t think anything else. He wouldn’t either. Couldn’t even imagine anything else after making an ass of himself at your first meeting. He’s felt so out of place and vulnerable and ridiculous trying to take you home the night you’d met, but you hadn’t made him feel wrong or silly for it. For that alone he was grateful. For the sex that followed, even more so. You’d met him with just enough teasing to keep him engaged, but not so much that he felt like he was an unwanted addition to your night and whenever his eyes drifted away like he wanted to run and forget the whole stupid idea, you gently guided him back, eyes and words making it clear that you wanted him too. It was a mutual feeling of desire, as simple as it was complicated. Bucky wanted to keep it simple though, if for no other reason than to keep seeing your awkward smile duck into his neck at the eagerness in his voice. He touched your face again and repeated himself. “I don’t think anything… just that I’m glad I met you… and I’d like to keep seeing you.”

You smiled at him and whatever silliness he felt in his confession evaporated. It was the right thing to say. You sighed and leaned in again like you were going to kiss him, before stopping short and looking up at him through your lashes. “I don’t think I can say no to you.”

“Then don’t,” he said, but it felt like begging again as he hoisted you higher up on his chest to kiss you again. The conversation was over and if you weren’t going to say no to him, then he wanted to start his morning with as many breathy yeses as he could get.

Random serendipitous encounters became less random and serendipitous with every passing week. Bucky was feeling lighter, yet somehow more whole. Boy, did he need that. A woman’s lovin’ will do that for you. He vaguely recalls one soldier or another making similar remarks while he was in Italy. Bucky’s blue eyes belonged to the nurses back then, as his own innocence slowly died with each body dropped by his own marksmanship. This new world, new century he now had to navigate was so different. His enemies weren’t always flesh and blood, even the ones that did bleed bled out in black and blue not Nazi red. Aliens, other worldsmen, some very human psychos with eerily familiar ideologies about who was of value and who was not. Bucky fought next to his friend, spilling blood of all colors when necessary, bearing the stains that Captain America couldn’t as a paragon of justice and honor. Then when the ringing in his ears got too loud, he sought you out. Over and over again. He never showed up unannounced and you always answered his call, even when you shouldn’t. You truly didn’t know how to say no to him and he truly didn’t want you to.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Bucky knew it wasn’t love, but he didn’t care. It felt good and it felt right and against his better judgment it helped him sleep at night, knowing you were only a half turn away, hugging your pillow, but content to wrap your arms around him instead as long as he asked. And he asked. When he wasn’t in your bed, it helped him stay sane, knowing that someone in the world was waiting on him, caring from a distance, maybe praying for his return. In the Big War, his mother prayed for him. His sisters too. In these mini wars, fought stealthily around the globe, he had you.

Rebecca was still blessedly alive, but his baby sister only remembered him when she saw his face. He would bet that you remembered him even as he schlepped through the mountains of Siberia for the last time. Always Siberia. Evil men must be allergic to sunlight. Sam had jokingly asked him why he always went back and Bucky had jokingly thrown the Falcon’s coffee away, leaving Sam’s hand empty and his mouth full of indignant teeth sucking. That briefing was blessedly brief and Sam didn’t need the rest of his coffee anyways. The flight via jet was longer, but not as horrible as it could have been. Steve’s sympathetic glances were unbearable. It’s the last time, Buck. Yeah, OK. The mission was a success, if you could call it a mission. Sam spun magnificently through the mouth of a cave while Bucky fired back into it, detonating the whole mountainside and leaving this particular Cold War remnant under an avalanche of snow and well kept secrets, never to be reborn. Steve dealt with the press. He had the face for it. Reputation too. Sam soaked up the due praise that came along with it, the next Captain America with his wings and his wit to carry avenging into the 21st century. Bucky, however, peeled off his heavily armed get up and peeled out of the compound without any formal announcement.

When Bucky left for long periods, most assumed he was doing what Steve Rogers would do. Ride around in his bike, traipse through the old neighborhood noting how much it changed. Captain America was the old man, the icon. He had the luxury of wandering. Bucky hadn’t gone anywhere without a mission in mind since the 40’s. He was a soldier, a weapon and while his mind could no longer be weaponized against him, Bucky was still the guy taking care of things that just wouldn’t wash out of Captain America’s shiny cowl. So when he left the compound, no one asked questions. At least not directly to him, something he was thankful for on the hour or so ride to your place. The Bronx apartment was considerably closer than a nostalgic walk through Brooklyn and he got a lot more out of it. He had no mission in Brooklyn, but you were waiting for him and that was enough.

This particular mission was no different. Steve asked him to stay on site and he declined politely as he could without actually stopping to talk to his friend. Natasha called out his hurried steps and followed him halfway to the garage before giving up at his request. It was glaringly obvious to Bucky how they got along so well. Steve and Natasha were quite the pair. Tenacious friends, like the kind of friends that never give up and definitely won’t let you give up on yourself. He saw it in her fierce allegiance and protectiveness over Clint. Now that Steve was huge and well connected in the Avenging community, Bucky supposed that made him the Barton to Steve’s Romanoff. They were insufferable do gooders too. Sure, Natasha had her fair share of red in her ledger, but once she was with the good guys, she was the best of them. Neither one would hesitate to throw themselves on a grenade or over a cliff if it meant someone else’s chance to live. They were do it or die trying people. Sam was… Sam was Sam. And when he spotted Bucky making a beeline to the exit, he just waved and shouted “have a good ride.” The wink was uncalled for and made Bucky question how much Sam really knew. He was a deadly intuitive little shit and despite Bucky’s best attempts not to even think it… one of the best people he’d ever known. Not that he felt the need to tell Sam that. He probably already knew it. Blessedly, Bucky ran into no other superheroes on his way through the compound. The garage, more like a hangar, was empty. Only the most expensive toys in Tony Stark’s arsenal and a high tech key coded workshop that Bucky felt so out of place in he kept a small tool box of his own so he wouldn’t have to wander through it. God forbid he go digging for a socket wrench and laser one of his fingers off. Anything was possible on Stark property.

Bucky zipped across the Hudson and sped toward the zoo, stopping at the deli on the corner and looking up two floors at the flat corner window. You weren’t waiting for him like usual. He’d pulled off the road once he got away from the compound and called you like he always did, giving you plenty of advance warning. It would be more gentlemanly to ask your permission before leaving home, but you hadn’t turned him down yet and if you ever did, he figured he’d keep driving anyways just to be away from everyone else for a while. Most times, when Bucky rounded the corner, slipping his bike into the space between your building and the overgrown lot next door, you found your way to that window, waving him up and putting a little something extra in his steps. You weren’t there, but you knew he was coming, so he made his way to the building’s entrance. A call, a buzz, a knock and Bucky was in your space again, taking a deep breath and inhaling the sweetness from your kitchen.

Your back was turned to him, having opened the door for him before rushing back to your place at the counter without a formal greeting, and Bucky watched curiously as you dropped little chocolate chip cookies onto a paper plate. You waved your fingers around after using your bare hands to pull them off the parchment paper and sucked your thumb between your lips to rid it of a rogue chocolate dripping. Bucky eyed the plate presented to him then looked up into your eyes.

“I googled you,” you said proudly. Bucky nodded and said okay, like he knew what that meant. It sounded sexual, but he hadn’t seen you in a week and frankly, he was more interested in googling than cookies. “It’s your birthday, Bucky! Why didn’t you say anything?” You looked delightfully scandalized and held out two cookies for him, which he accepted with a half smile. They were warm and started to fall apart between his fingers, so he shoved both into his mouth before making a gooey mess of himself. While his mouth was full, you cleaned up your tiny kitchen and dropped the plate onto the coffee table in the living area, talking about how embarrassing it was that you hadn’t thought to look him up sooner, but how lucky you felt that you’d thought about it after he called. You wished you’d had time to make a cake, but wanted to be home when he arrived, so freezer cookies were the best you could do after work.

You weren’t dating. Not really. That was why Bucky hadn’t mentioned it. Steve and Natasha wanted to make a big stink out of it, but he wanted no part of that. He just wanted to see you and get some of that good sleep he only got in your apartment after wearing you out two or three times. Sitting on the couch next to you, he took another cookie from the plate. They were better than they looked and he planned to clear the whole dang thing before taking you to bed. Maybe he’d save a few for the refractory period. You’d need sustenance too. So Bucky took his fourth cookie, which made you smile even wider and pledge to leave the rest for later.

The truth was, Bucky hadn’t celebrated a birthday in decades. The last one he could remember being awake for was in the seventies. He waited outside the governor's mansion in Bermuda for hours, watching a dinner party eventually lull and disperse. The Winter Soldier had no clue of the cruel irony watching another man’s party on one’s birthday, the asset’s only focus was quickly killing the governor and his companion once they stepped out of the house for a walk. He’d spared the dog though, a massive and beautiful beast without a single aggressive bone in its body who loped away from the scene whining. You hated that story when Bucky confessed it. He hadn’t felt the need to go into much detail regarding his time as the fist of Hydra. At first because he didn’t care for you to know. It was a fling. Fun. What pieces he did remember from those days were anything but fun. After determining that he liked you, really liked you, Bucky kept his trap shut for fear of scaring you. You knew who he was in theory, but as long as he wasn’t relaying his bloodiest days to you like he was now, maybe you wouldn’t look at him like the monster he didn’t want to be anymore. To his surprise, you hated that he sat in a tree watching people eat and drink and laugh the night away on his birthday, regardless of whether he knew it at the time. However, you zeroed in on his attempts to spare the dog, filling in the blanks that somewhere deep within the Asset, he had maintained some of his humanity. Some of his Buckyness.

“I don’t know if that helps… or if it makes everything worse…” you said, hesitating to go on, but he caught your meaning. Was it better to think that Hydra succeed in wiping him clean, using only his body and latent memories, discarding his mind all together? Or was it somehow hopeful, to think that in all their trying to eliminate Bucky Barnes in order to free their Asset, some piece of him had remained intact? Bucky wasn’t sure he could stomach the idea that any part of him had been present during grizzly assassinations, nor could he ever fully shake the idea that he wasn’t. Either way, these conversations weren’t what he came to you for.

While you were still looking shy, wondering if you should have stopped him from telling his story, Bucky kissed you. It was sweet, not just from the chocolate on his breath. “Thank you,” he said softly, thumbing a brown smudge at the corner of your mouth. “For the cookies. For listening.” His eyes passed over each of yours in turn. “Thanks for being here.”

“Of course,” you smiled. It wasn’t as obvious as you made it sound, but he liked that you felt it was. “I could be around more, you know.” Bucky didn’t know what you meant, but that became clear in a matter of moments. You sucked in your lips and started again. “I know we haven’t talked about...uh, well, what this is, but you’ve been coming over for a while now and I guess…”

“You guess?” Bucky prompted you to continue, when you trailed off.

“I didn’t expect you to still be calling me, so I guess I’m asking,” you said. “Asking what we are now?”

“Oh.” Bucky hadn’t meant to say it like that, but it came out like that and your eyes widened immediately. He scrambled, grabbing your hands quickly and holding them both in a firm pile against your thigh. “Oh, meaning, I didn’t think that’s what we were doing here, so this is unexpected.”

“Oh,” you respond and Bucky imagines you meant it exactly how it sounded. Disappointed and the single syllable precursor to his being disinvited from your apartment. And your bed. And your everything.

“But, I like the idea,” he supplies quickly, but he can see your look is hesitantly hopeful. “Of more, I mean. Seeing where… ya know.”

“Yeah,” you smile and Bucky breathed out his relief. “So we’re together…?”

“As together as we can be,” he said, having no clue what he meant by it, but it seemed to be the right thing considering how you kissed him. You pulled your hands from his to wrap behind his neck and fit yourself into his lap. Bucky’s hands went to your thighs, spread wide over his hips, and he squeezed his way up the backs to your jean pockets, slipping his hands inside to squeeze again. “Here or…” Bucky pulled away to catch his breath and nod in the direction of your bedroom.

“Take your girlfriend to bed, Bucky,” you laughed, kissing him again and he stood with you still in his arms, legs clinging to his lower back. Girlfriend. Okay, Bucky decided in a snap. He could work with that. Especially if it meant chocolate chip cookies and birthday sex. Which reminded him and you giggled as he turned back around, hoisting you higher up on his torso with the vibranium arm below your butt and stooped carefully to grab the plate of cookies with the other before taking you and your cookies to bed.

His first relationship in the 21st century had surprised him. Come out of nowhere and nothing. One moment he was standing at a bar, nursing a beer that wouldn’t affect him at all while he listened to talk about your job before not so subtly asking about his, the next it was his birthday and he had a mouthful of chocolate chip cookies while you had a mouthful of him. It’s funny how fast life changes. If only he’d known just how quickly his new relationship would fall apart.

A/N: I’ve been cooking up this series for a while now and I thought, why not post the first bit and see what happens. First time writing for this fandom, so we’re diving in head first with a feckin’ long series and some foolin’ around. I do welcome tags if you’re interested.

Masterlist

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky x reader #bucky fanfic #Bucky Barnes fanfic #idga fic #some and others

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kamilah-the-bloodqueen · 4 years ago

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The Cafe Pt.2 (Rewritten Barista)

OMG I’m back with the shitty Kamilah fanfiction! I haven’t written for a while - let alone for this series since I took a writing hiatus to focus on my classes so hopefully there aren’t any plot holes and the fic doesn’t suck ass. I’m slowly getting back into my writing but I still have finals (Up until next April 28) but after finals I will be writing more consistently and will finish my current series and WIPs (I will post my WIPs list soon so I can hold myself accountable and also keep track of what I need to work on).

Pairing: Kamilah x MC (Amy)

Word Count: 3682 words (I am trying to write longer fics but I prefer quality > length so I will post when the chapter feel right however I aim for this series chapters to be between 3500-4500 words each)

Taglist: (I know it’s been a while so if you’d like to be removed from the taglist just let me know - I promise it won’t hurt my feelings that being said if you’d like to be added to the taglist for just this series, my Kamilah x MC taglist or my perma tag - please let me know I’ll be happy to add you if I remember to even tag) @samanthadalton @beautifulandorganized @cloud9in @kwaj115 @hellyeah90sbaby @shows-simp-card @witchesplayatnight

Part I

“It’s...sweet and comforting,” her voice was soft as she spoke, Amy’s cheeks turning very red, “like you.”

Amy felt on cloud nine, her eyes glued to Kamilah as she watched her walk to her car and speed away like some rich movie character. Amy closed her eyes, replaying the entire scene over and over until the soft jingle of the bell startled her. Zig walked in, his shoulders drooped low as he carried a large duffel bag in his hand as his backpack slung over his shoulder.

“You look like shit Zig.” Amy jested before walking to him and taking the duffel bag from him, both of them laughing lightly.

“I guess the tides have changed since we went to Hartfeld yeah?” Amy snickered at Zig’s comment, recalling the time she and her friends had gotten so wasted they streaked through the quad only to be caught by the dean on their way back.

“I assume you’re leaving after your shift?” Amy placed his bag down and tossed him his apron, both of them moving to the front counter as Zig examined the cafe.

“Yeah, we aren’t technically leaving until tomorrow morning but Kaitlyn wanted to run over some of the more technical things with us. I could probably convince them to let you come, you’d definitely spice things up.” Zig waved his hands in the air and stuck his tongue out as Amy tried to glare at him, before breaking into laughter.

“And who would watch the cafe? The pigeons? Lily?”

“You’re right, I still feel bad about leaving on such short notice-”

“I’ve got this Zig, trust.” Amy held her head proud as Zig rolled his eyes, making sure Amy saw him. “Jerk.” She nudged his shoulder as a tall handsome man walked in, it took Amy and Zig a moment to realize who he was as he adjusted his tie.

“Adrian Raines? CEO of Raine’s corporations?” Zig’s head perked up as he approached the register, his suit was a steel grey, his hair a dark brown that resembled a fresh cup of coffee and his smile was so comforting and infectious Amy couldn’t help but smile at him.

“You must be Zig,” Adrian reached a hand forward, his teeth were so perfect, so straight and white he could have been in a toothpaste commercial, “and you must be Amy. Kamilah recommended this place. More specifically she recommended your special coffee. I had to come see for myself - she said if she had ordered one for me, it wouldn’t have made it to my office.” His voice was soothing, comforting and satisfying - Amy wanted him to read a bedtime story to her.

Amy’s eyes widened as she felt butterflies in her stomach, her palms growing sweaty as she smiled back at Adrian, his deep brown eyes very similar to Kamilah’s without the intensity. Zig gently tapped her shoulder, nodding towards the coffee machine as he rang Adrian’s drink up.

“Oh! Right!” Amy hustled, she was excited that she had two major CEOs trying her special coffee, it was a subtle flex that she found satisfaction in. She leaned back on the counter as the coffee slowly spilled out of the brewer, the strong smell prompting Adrian to turn for a moment before continuing the conversation with Zig. Amy took a moment to take him in, after all, not everyone gets to be within such a close proximity to a major CEO. Amy hadn’t noticed how muscular he was, his posture was so irritatingly straight, his hands were smaller than she expected and she tried not to laugh upon that discovery. His hair was slickly combed back, and his eyelashes were longer than Amy’s and his body complex was just muscular enough to be seen through the curves of his suit but not so muscular as to resemble Dwayne Johnson.

“This is a solid set up you’ve got for yourself Zig, you should be proud.” Adrian adjusted his tie to be straighter as Zig rolled his shoulders back with a proud smile on his face.

“It took a lot of work but it’s...something I have wanted since college. I’m sure you understand that feeling since you do run one of the leading technology companies in the world, not even just the United States.” Zig folded his hands into his arms as Adrian turned with a soft gaze, a twinkle in his eyes that Amy couldn’t quite put a pin on.

“Well I’ve had years to grow and create a base for myself, with the connections I have in other industries it was really only a matter of money and finding the right people to work with me.”

“How long did it take you?” Amy finished his coffee off with a generous serving of caramel and stirred it gently as Adrian blinked at her.

“A long time, I’m much older than I look.” He laughed and Amy couldn’t help but question why he was so vague, he was only 28 years old according to google.

“You don’t look a day over 22.” Zig interjected as Adrian and Amy held each other’s gaze, Amy couldn’t help but question his eyes, there was something he wasn’t letting on and she could feel it in her stomach. She handed him the coffee and watched his expression change as the warm liquid met his lips.

“I can see why Kamilah was so intrigued, this has to be one of the best drinks I’ve ever had.” Adrian’s phone rang with drumming that sounded like it was from a revolutionary war movie.

“Strange ringtone.” Amy remarked prompting Adrian to smile and shake his head.

“I love the revolutionary war, the fight for freedom will always be an admirable one.” He smiled at Amy before turning to Zig, “I need to head back to my office but I’ll be sure to invest in this cafe of yours, and for you Amy. Thank you.” He reached into his pocket and handed Amy what appeared to be $300.

“No wait it was just a cup of coffee!” Amy tried to shove the money back into his hand but Adrian had already dashed out of the door, leaving Zig stunned with a smile and Amy baffled. “What the fuck. I will never understand rich people Zig.”

“I mean hey, it’s a good tip and you need the money Amy. Now, about you watching the cafe, are you really sure you can handle it alone? It’s a tall order.” Zig furrowed his brows as he scanned the empty cafe, his hand reassuringly placed on Amy’s shoulder.

“It would actually be a venti order, but I’m sure. You need a break buddy, I can see it in your eyes and you should be there for Kaitlyn and her band.” Amy placed her hand over Zig’s as two women walked through the cafe doors.

“Alright then, now let’s finish the day.” Zig returned to the register as Amy began fixing the women’s orders.

The day passed by slower than usual, Amy kept replaying her interactions with Adrian over in her mind, with Kamilah’s earlier remark fading as Amy questioned Adrian’s shadiness.

“That could not have gone by slower.” Zig let out a long sigh and Amy watched the tension leave his broad shoulders as he locked the front door. “After today I don’t have any more doubts about that trip, I need a break.”

“That’s all I’ve been saying dumbass, go on. You need to pack and I can clean up here tonight.” Amy joked as Zig looked around nervously.

“Amy this place is a mess, we were so much busier. I can’t leave you to do this by yourself.” Zig reached for the disinfectant wipes as Amy smacked his hand.

“Get out of here and go pack or you’re straight.” Amy wiggled her brows at Zig who took a step back.

“Oh fuck off. All the tips from today are yours though. You take all the tips or you’re a vampire lover.” Zig winked at Amy who rolled her eyes and pointed towards the door. Zig stopped and patted her shoulder on his way out.

“Thank you so much Amy. I’m glad you’re working here and I’m glad we were able to reconnect.” Zig and Amy shared a nod in silence before Zig left the messy cafe to Amy.

“Now it’s just me I guess. Time to play some music.” Amy smiled and pulled her speaker out of her backpack, putting “Sit Next to Me” by Foster the People on and showly shaking her torso to the beat. She held the broom in her hands and started sweeping to the beat of the song, her head shaking to the rhythm as she sang her heart out. She finished sweeping the floor and began washing the blenders and wiping down the counters, stopping every five minutes to dance to the chorus of whatever upbeat song was playing.

“She wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts. She’s cheer captain and I’m-” Amy swung her hips around, the washcloth in her hands flying through the air as she swayed her head back and forth like a teenage girl.

“On the bleachers, dreaming bout the day when you wake up and find that what you’re looking for has been here the whole time.”

Amy froze like a deer in headlights as she turned to see where the voice came from - Kamilah was standing in the doorway with her arms crossed and a very amused look on her face as Amy slowly lowered her arms in embarrassment.

“How much of that did you see?”

“Oh no don’t let me interrupt you, please keep going.” Kamilah smirked and Amy felt a rush of adrenaline run through her. Instead of stopping and apologizing, she found herself hitting the play button and continued singing and dancing like Kamilah wasn’t even there.

“If you could see that I’m the one who understands you! Been here all along so why can’t you seeeeeeee, you belong with meeeee!”

“Standing by and waiting at your backdoor, all this time how could you not know babyyyy? You belong with meeee.” Amy blinked as Kamilah sang with her, the woman's voice was stunning and left Amy speechless as their eyes met in the dim cafe lighting. The way Kamilah’s voice sounded in combination with the low and heated gaze she had on Amy, it felt like she was just reading her thoughts out loud. In a flash Kamilah was standing in front of Amy, their bodies so close Amy could feel the woman’s warmth and smell her sweet scent as the music faded and Amy lost herself in Kamilah’s brown eyes.

“You belong with me. Have you ever thought...just...maybe...” Kamilah’s voice slowed from a singing tone to a low whisper, she leaned close as the song came to its end, Amy couldn’t help but sing back to her.

“You belong with me?” She knew it came out shakily, the subtle smirk on Kamilah’s face said it all as they stayed locked in the moment. Amy knew they weren’t just singing to Taylor Swift’s new album, it was unspoken words between the two of them that neither had the courage to previously say. Amy felt her heart speed up, her palms growing sweaty as she waited to see if Kamilah would sing back to her or not.

“You belong with me.” Kamilah leaned forward to kiss Amy, both of their eyes fluttering shut as the music stopped and time came to a slow. Amy wrapped her arms around the woman’s shoulders as their lips almost met, before Amy’s ringtone blared from her backpack causing Kamilah and Amy to jolt apart.

Amy rushed over to check the call, scanning the screen and reading Lily’s name made her less annoyed that her almost kiss was interrupted, but still not happy.

“Hey Lil what’s up? Oh yeah, I’m sorry I let Zig get out early so he could pack so I’m not gonna be home til late tonight. I’m so sorry. Yeah. Oh that’s good, I’m glad! You can def tell me about it later. Yeah? Oh yes I gotcha, I’ll venmo you for the rent once I hang up. Yeah okay goodnight Lil.”

Amy hung up the phone and opened her venmo, sending Lily the $550 for rent, completely ignoring the fact Kamilah had made her way close to her again. As soon as she put her phone back in her bag, Kamilah turned her back around to face her, the woman’s eyes sparkling in the soft lighting that surrounded them.

“Kamilah, how did you get in here? We’re technically closed and Zig-” Amy was silenced by Kamilah dangling what appeared to be a copy of the cafe key.

“I helped Zig fund this cafe, I can come and go as I please, I just prefer to make his life easy and stay out of his way. He said you might’ve needed help cleaning up tonight since you let him go, so I came to help you clean, but instead I found you giving a world tour with no audience.”

Amy felt a blush crawl up her face, her heart pounding so loudly it rang in her ears as she felt Kamilah’s hand on her arm. She pulled her eyes away from Kamilah’s, unsure of if it was because she was embarrassed, scared, flustered or a combination of all three. Kamilah gently placed her index finger under the girl’s chin, softly pulling her to meet her gaze as she spoke slowly.

“You don’t have to kiss me Amy,” her voice was comforting and lacked the iciness it usually carried, “just say the word and I won’t come to the cafe while you’re here alone.”

“Kamilah...I...it’s not that...it’s just...” Amy stuttered but leaned forward, unable to reach Kamilah’s lips because of her height. Kamilah leaned down, tracing her index finger over Amy’s throat as their lips softly met. Kamilah slowly took Amy’s lower lip in her mouth, sucking on it and prompting a soft moan to escape Amy’s mouth as she draped herself into Kamilah’s arms. Minutes passed by as their mouths remained locked together, only pulling apart so they could finish cleaning.

“Come on Amy, let’s get this place clean so you can get home.” Kamilah picked up the roll of paper towels and began drying the blenders and stacking them neatly to Amy’s surprise. Kamilah was a powerhouse, which was something Amy had expected from her since she radiated power like a goddess, but it was her ability to clean so damn thoroughly that confused Amy.

“Kamilah?”

“Yes?”

“I don’t want to sound rude or anything but-”

“How did I learn to clean so well for an extremely rich person?”

“Yeah.”

“I wasn’t always this wealthy, and I still prefer to clean my own penthouse since there’s certain ways I like my things placed and kept. The safest hands are our own and I like to be self reliant. Cleaning also makes me feel quite liberated and I keep valuable artifacts in my home that I wouldn’t feel comfortable letting anyone else touch.”

“Oh, that makes a lot of sense. Thank you.” Amy spoke softly as she wiped the last chair down and stacked it. She turned as Kamilah slid her blazer back on and leaned against the door. Amy slung her backpack over her shoulder and grabbed the leftover pastries from the counter but stopped on her way out as she noticed Kamilah waiting for her by the door.

“You don’t have to walk me home Kamilah.”

“It’s 1 am in New York. I wouldn’t let anyone walk home alone at this time, besides it’s safer and I don’t think Zig would forgive me if something happened to you.” Kamilah lowered her voice to a faint whisper that Amy could barely make out. “And I couldn’t forgive myself if I let something happen to you either.”

Amy felt sparks up her body as she let Kamilah hold the cafe door open for her, before they both turned to lock it.

“Well I’ll let you do that since you’re running this place for the next week.” Kamilah took a step back as Amy shakily locked the cafe up, letting out a relieved sigh. She started walking and felt comforted knowing Kamilah was with her, because she didn’t want to walk home alone in the dark despite her earlier remarks. They walked in silence, Kamilah staying close to Amy as they passed by the food bank, Amy tensing as she passed by the same alley that had haunted her ever since she saw glowing eyes that one time. She hastily made her way into the food bank, dropping the bag off with the receptionist and hurrying out the door to get back before anything else could freak her out.

“Kamilah, how do you know Adrian?” Amy asked as they walked away from the food bank towards Amy’s apartment.

“I handle Raines Corporations finances. Raines Corporation does all of their financing through Ahmanet Financial and so we’re good business partners but we found good friendship through the years.” There was something suspicious about the way Kamilah spoke, it gave Amy the same feeling when Adrian was asked about her age but she just could not put a pin on why she had this feeling. “Amy? Are you alright?”

“Oh yeah sorry, my mind went off on a tangent.” Amy stopped at the front of her apartment building, she turned to face Kamilah who basically glowed in the dark. The moonlight illuminated her features, her brown eyes shining brightly and her hair shimmering as Amy felt her breath catch in her throat. “Thanks for walking me home..not that I can’t handle myself but-”

“Of course Amy. See you tomorrow.” Kamilah smiled softly, placing a gentle kiss on Amy’s cheek before turning and disappearing into the streets, Amy sighing as she walked through the lobby, getting in the elevator and finally arriving at her apartment door.

“Hey Amy, how was work?” Lily sat up from the couch, putting her PS4 game on pause as Amy collapsed on the couch next to her.

“It was alright, I let Zig leave early so he could pack and I was cleaning and totally jamming out and Kamilah saw me but she joined me and we kissed…” Amy giggled as Lily squealed in excitement.

“OHMYGODD what was it like?” Lily perked up like a child ready for a bedtime story, her hands shaking as she waited for Amy to explain.

“Electric. God Lily I don’t even have words for it. My head was spinning and the world just fell away.” Amy swayed back and forth as Lily hugged her.

“Well maybe you’ll have a date with her soon. Oh, I made beignets tonight, they’re on the counter! Let me get you some!” Lily stood up and rushed away, returning quickly with a beautiful plate of freshly made beignets covered in powdered sugar.

“I swear you’re the best suitemate ever. Absolutely unparalleled.” Amy bit into one of the sweets, savoring the softness and sweetness of the perfect sweet treat. “God Lily this has to be your best recipe yet!”

“Girllll no way, I saw this recipe for key lime pie that I’m dying to try this week.” Lily exclaimed as she pulled up the recipe on her phone, Amy taking another beignet from the plate.

“You should go to a baking school or something Lily. Maybe open a bakery?” Amy suggested as Lily passionately explained the process of baking her favorite desserts. “Maybe you could bake for the cafe?”

“Nah, this is a hobby. I want to finalize my website for my computer business this week. But that’s a nice suggestion.” Lily stifled a yawn at the same time Amy did, both of them laughing at each other.

“Damn so we’re both two tired dumbasses. It’s 3 am...we should get some sleep.” Lily suggested as Amy realized she’d only be getting a few hours of sleep.

“You’re right. Do we have any energy drinks in the fridge though? I’m gonna need one before work.”

“Yeah I bought more redbull and monster so you can take your pick, but I’m gonna crash harder than windows so g’night Amy.” Lily shuffled to her room as Amy did the same - collapsing in her bed and savoring the few hours of sleep she was going to get.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Amy arrived at the cafe 20 minutes before opening time, her bag in one hand and a redbull in the other as she unlocked the cafe. She put her bag down and started the opening process, the redbull slowly kicking in as the time passed by quickly. Just as she finished counting in on the register, the door jingled open and Kamilah stepped through the cafe doors.

“Good morning Amy.” She smiled at her with those perfectly straight teeth and that damn irresistible smile.

“Good morning Kamilah, here’s your coffee. Both ways.” Amy handed the cups to Kamilah, their fingers gently brushing during the exchange.

“Amy...about last night…” Kamilah spoke softly, gently, in a sweet voice that Amy never expected from her.

“Oh...did...you want to forget it?” Amy’s heart dropped, a deep pain forming in her stomach as she awaited Kamilah’s response.

“No. I...I enjoyed it a lot.” Kamilah’s tone changed from sweet and confident to a shy and lower voice - was she flustered?

“So did I...maybe...well if you have time tonight maybe we can do it again?” Amy suggested as she wiped the counter down.

“I’ll be here.” Kamilah smiled, their eyes meeting for a moment before the jingling of the door interrupted their moment. “See you later Amy.” Kamilah waved as she left the cafe.

The day passed by achingly slow, but eventually after several strange tik tok orders, a bunch of big wall street assholes and a few sweet customers the cafe was ready to close. Amy began cleaning the cafe, starting with just wiping the blenders clean as the door jingled, Amy turned and expected to see Kamilah - but it wasn’t Kamilah in the doorway.

#kamilah sayeed #kamilah x mc #mc x kamilah #bloodbound #kamilah the bloodqueen post #uhh i cant tell if i love or hate this fic #anyways so i'm going to draft remember me next but i also got a few one shot inspos #I will post remember me as soon as i can #i cannot control my creativity or inspo so i work on different wips as i get inspired for them #if that makes any sense?#like if i feel angsty i can write remember me #but if i feel fluffy or smutty then it doesnt pair well so my writing wont match #but i am going to finish these two series and then start my other AU's that i wanted to write #but expect a lot of one shots once my finals are done

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sweetestlamb · 4 years ago

Text

Touch My Heart Part 2

Summary: Baby come back, you can blame it all on me. Or how to get your man back using bath soaps.

She has to cry silently, let her heart crack and splinter in silence because she doesn't want to explain her tears to Hong Yeon or Court Lady Choi. She should have expected nothing, should have known the King would want the one he truly fell in love with. But she'd still hoped, wished, dreamed selfishly that he would accept her and her feelings.

That he would beg and plead with her to stay, would declare that he loved her too. She knew that wasn't the case but still her useless heart had been holding out, only to be shredded apart when his eyes revealed how much he missed Jang Bong Hwan. It wasn't fair for either of them, she couldn't be a replacement and he would be forever longing. They would live eternally in limbo, that was no life worth living.

It was a fool's dream, she'd thrown away her chance when she jumped into the lake drowning both her desires and ambitions. She thought filling his shoes would be doable, some of his quirks and behaviors had left a lasting impact on her soul and they had many hobbies in common. But they weren't the same, maybe cut from a similar quilt but the patchwork was too intricate to be replicated.

So she cries, gasping sobs that rattle her bones and wreck her lungs; for the life she couldn't have and for the pain she knows the chef must be going through. If she was this heartbroken at the thought of being without the King, he must be crushed; soul and spirit pulverized to dusty remains.

Sleep comes to her painstakingly, her eyes so raw and red that even the act of closing them hurts and she twists and turns all night until the sandman pulls her under.

👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑

"Hong Yeon-ah, you have been loyal to me since the day I was brought here." The young court maid looks at her with a puzzled smile at her sudden reminiscing, but nods as if she's used to her oddities by now, barely pausing her actions.

"Yes, you're highness. You are always most important to me. I will be loyal to you until the end. And when your child is born, I shall be loyal to them as well." Hong Yeon smiles sweetly at her whilst gently brushing her hair, putting fragrant powder on the roots as she twists her hair into braids.

"I will always cherish you."

"Your highness?" The court maid stops braiding her thick hair, peering into her eyes inquisitively through the mirror. "Why are you speaking as if you will not be here with me?"

She forces a content smile, having now accepted what she just do for herself, the King and most importantly Jang Bong Hwan, the one who saved them all.

"I might be going on a faraway trip, don't look for me. Just care for my baby and take care of the King." She can tell that the younger woman has many questions on her mind but mostly she seems...saudade; she understands more than she wants to and she's sad but she knows the Queen well enough to know why she must do this.

"I too, will always cherish you. I hope we meet again and I can be by your side once more, it was my greatest achievement."

She hugs the court maid, no her close friend probably one of her best friends. Remembering how eagerly she would follow her around, becoming her confidant and supporter as she found her footing in the palace.

"I hope I meet you in another life." She whispers into Hong Yeon's trembling head, embracing tighter because this is her last time.

The others are not as perceptive as Hong Yeon, but she does notice tears lingering in Court Lady Choi's eyes before she blinks them away.

"Thank you for always nagging me, it made me feel like I finally had a mother. I hope you can find your own happiness now." She knowingly looks over at the royal kitchen, making the older woman blush and turn away.

"Are you going to be okay?" She thinks about the question, and she smiles as she answers, "Yes. I'm going to be happy, I will make sure of it this time." She now knows that she has the power to do so, nothing can control her life besides her.

She sends for her father, hugging him tightly despite his apparent confusion. He's been all she's had for so long, it's her hardest goodbye of all. He will never know she's gone but she will mourn his loss until she takes her last breath.

"Father, I love you. I know everything you did was for my future, I know you made mistakes along the way but I couldn't have asked for a better father. In another life I want to be your daughter again." She cries into his shoulder, childishly gripping the bottom of his robe like she did when she was young and had a nightmare.

He looks at her with wet eyes and a huge grin, chuckling before rubbing her belly and showing her all the new gifts he's brought for his grandchild. She smiles and listens, soaking up all his love and warmth to keep her warm on those lonely days.

Later that night, she presses her palm to her stretched skin she's barely showing now only a minor bump under her clothes. But she can feel the life inside of her, her sweet baby.

"My baby, know that I loved you. That I would do anything to protect you. Please be good to them and have a happy life. I hope we too will meet in another life, you are blessed to have two mothers who adore you. Never want for anything." When she feels light taps at her belly, she grips her belly tighter.

She has no regrets, it's time.

The next day, she goes through her day as expected. Letting her servants serve her and enjoying the breeze from the lake, she takes in the majesty of her life and smiles at the sky.

When night falls, she stealthily rises from her bed donning only socks on her feet to make her steps undetectable, she's already said her goodbyes so there is nothing keeping her back now. Only her fears but she's stronger than she was before, there's no turning back now.

The lake glistens remarkably under the mystical glow of the moon, calling to her like a siren. The water sloshes as she steps into it, hissing at the cold that prickles at her skin before her body adjusts. She keeps walking until the water buoys her off her feet and licks at her collarbone, taking a deep gulp of the night air she plunges her head under the watery sheet. Water burns her lungs as she loses the ability to breathe, resisting her bodies urge to escape.

This time is different, this time she's here to live.

He goes through the motions of life, but everything feels like a chore. He quits his job, deciding to open a a small restaurant with his savings. His restaurant instantly becomes a fan favorite because of his delicious flavors and affordable prices, he also takes to cooking at a soup kitchen on the weekends. There's a young girl whose innocent smile reminds him of Dam Hyang, he always gives her extra meat with a wink.

That's the only thing brings him joy these days, he had so desperately wanted to be back and now, now he was miserable.

What had he been missing so much? His body? His job? Technology? All of it meant nothing now, it couldn't fill the void in his heart. Nights are the hardest, sleep is elusive and his thoughts race thinking about them- how were they living without him? Was his Cheoljongie able to fall asleep? Did Court Lady Choi and the head chef make it official? Was Hong Yeon doing well? Did they even notice that he was no longer in the body of the Queen or was he already forgotten?

Did he mean anything to them or was he easily replaced by Soyong? Those thoughts haunt him daily and he starts drinking, blacking out every night in a stupor just trying to turn off his brain. But that does nothing to soothe the ache.

He tries to find comfort in others.

Finding willing partners is easy, women throw themselves at him but he's more thoughtful now, no longer seeing them as conquests. He remembers their names and cooks them breakfast in the morning, but he still feels hollow like all of his innards have been scrapped out with a jagged spoon.

So he sleeps with men, gets fucked hard into his bed stifling his moans into pillows trying to feel something, anything. But being taken does nothing, he's still empty even while stuffed full. Nothing compares to him, everyone else falls short and it makes him crazy; he has to move on. One night stand after one stand does nothing to abate the emptiness he feels.

Spending time with his mother brings him solace, she's older so he has to care for her but it's not a chore, he's happy to.

"You seem different these days." He hums as he bathes her, swiping a soapy loofah across her shoulders and wetting her short thin hair.

"How so?" He hasn't mentioned anything to her or anyone, there's no way anyone would believe his story. Sometimes he wonders if it was all a vivid dream that he created to deal with his coma but the proof is in the history book, the one he keeps on his bed side table. A reminder that it was real, that he's not crazy. It's both grounding and soul crushing.

"You're waiting for something." She answers mysteriously, eyes sliding shut as he tips her head back to wash out the shampoo.

He doesn't reply. He's not waiting for anything, there's nothing coming. This is his life now. He's just waiting for the end.

After putting his mother to sleep, he travels back home his body aching, tight from lifting another human. Mentally fatigued from suppressing his feelings all day.

He watches idly as the water fills up the tub, his fingers dancing across the surface before he stops the flow squirting a honey scented bubble bath until the water is foamy. He undresses dropping his clothes carelessly on the ground before dipping one toe into the bath, he groans at the welcoming heat letting the water envelop him fully.

The bubbles tickle his nose as he sits in the tub, his muscles slowly relaxing under the luscious heat. It feels nice. He should be content, he's able to take a warm bath in his lavish apartment that should be enough to raise his spirits.

Tears start pouring from his eyes, he hadn't let himself cry that day that feels like a lifetime ago. Had sucked up all his sadness and loneliness and pushed them in a corner of his mind, but now the corner is exploding and he can't control his emotions. All his walls are crumbling in his mind.

He sobs, choking on air and wiping at the moisture on his face but they are falling too quick for him to catch and he starts to hiccup.

"I'll never see them again. Hong Yeon, Court Lady Choi, head chef, Cheoljong, my baby! It's like I never existed, why did this happen to me? I never asked for any of this!" He screams at his ceiling, he's never been a religious person not wanting to put that much trust in an intangible being in the sky, but if there is some omnipresent being, he curses them for punishing him.

"Why me?" He pounds at the water, shouting when soap splashes back hitting him in the eye. Flailing and attempting to rub it out, he's unaware of how close he is to his shower caddy until his hand hits the metal contraption, causing the suction cup adhering it to the wall to lift and the caddy precariously dangles before loosening and crashing down. Pain explodes in his temple before he slides into the water, excess leaking over the edge and onto the floor. Soapy water fills his lungs until he loses consciousness, everything fading to darkness.

"Jang Bong Hwan! Wake up! Open your eyes."

A familiar voice penetrates the foggy cloud in his brain, as he struggles to clear mind.

"Please! Wake up. This may be our only chance!"

The voice pleads with him, he feels wispy threads weaving around his mind and finally he starts to force his eyes open, willing his body to follow his commands.

Wake up. Wake up. WAKE UP!!

Bursting free of his prison, he jolts awake looking around wildly shocked to see himself submerged in water far deeper than his tub is capable of holding, everything feels familiar. Eerily so.

Then he glances in front of him and a face he's grown so used to seeing is peering back at him.

"Kim Soyong?" He barely whispers, certain he's having a ridiculously vivid dream.

"This isn't a dream. I've been waiting for you."

He stares at her in shock, in complete disbelief about the situation. What the fuck was going on??

"What the fuck is going on?" He voices his thought, watching as she smiles and swims closer to him.

"I'm bringing you back. I'm giving you back this body." She states confidently, taking his world and knocking it upside down.

"What are you talking about? Everything is back to the way it should be, the King loves you. History changed. Everything is as it should be." He squashes the desperate hope that blooms at her words, nothing was that simple. It simply wasn't their fate to be together.

"Is that how you truly feel? Is everything as it should be? Are you happy?"

Happy. That feeling is foreign to him now. But he has accepted his fate, he was able to help his King that was enough.

"I helped him. That's enough. I can't ask for anything more." He answers honestly, resolve melting as he thinks of his King and his smile.

"He loves you. I thought what I felt for him was love but I know the difference now, love is earned. You earned his love."

The tears start again, he looks at her lost. He doesn't know what to do.

"But you deserve to be happy too. I know everything you went through, I felt it too. I can't let you die because of me, I want you to live Soyong." He cries heart aching for the woman in front of him, she only ever did what she thought she had to. If someone had truly been there for her without any motives, this could have been different.

"I do deserve happiness too." She agrees and his heart jumps because this is it, he'll truly never see Cheoljong again.

"But I won't get it in this universe." Blinking through his tears he stares at her, a sad accepting smile on her face.

"I will always live in your shadows. That is not a true life, I want a fresh start. I deserve a live of my own without any regrets." She swims closer until they are face to face, nose barely grazing as she carresses his cheeks. It's clear what she intends to do, her lips moving closer until only millimeters separate them.

"Take care of him and our baby." She whispers before closing the gap, warm lips pressing against his and then he feels a sharp tug from the center of his stomach lurching him forward and then suddenly backwards.

He's only able to get out two words, "Thank you." Before he's plunged into darkness again.

He swirls in a sea of nothing for what feels like eternity, locked somewhere he can't escape. He wanders and wanders trying to remember who he is and where he is? The darkness is unchanging and he feels smothered by it, running only to end up back at the same spot. But then he hears a sound, something soft and sweet. A voice, a voice he recognizes but he doesn't know how.

Who is that?

Where am I?

Those questions spin around and around in his head, vicious cycle that leaves him feeling no closer to the truth or the end.

Then he hears another voice, louder and deeper. It's pleading and pained, his heart aches for the agony he can feel and then he feels a sensation, a distant touch and suddenly a door opens in the darkness, light pours into the once desolate room and he rushes to the door, chasing the light. Needing to be closer to that voice and that touch.

His head is throbbing, opening his eyes feels like a splitting headache but he pushes through the pain desperate to see where is he. His eyes are burning but he forces his heavy lids up and sunlight floods his vision, making him wince and shut them once more.

"My Queen?"

It can't be. No. He's dreaming.

He feels a hand wrap around his own, completely cocooning it.

"My Queen! You're finally awake!" The King cries, relief emitting off his body as he clutches him to his chest. His hot tears landing on the thin material covering his shoulder.

Throat scratchy and aching he licks his lips before speaking, "Cheoljongie?"

Immediately the King freezes in his arms, it's so quiet he can hear the crickets outside chirping loudly. The King slowly leans back, his eyes darting all over his face with something that looks like nervous wonder.

"What did you call me?" He whispers, his eyes wide.

"Cheoljongie!" He screams suddenly throwing himself into his King's arms, which are loose at first but then they become rib straining tight but he doesn't care, he needs this hug more than he needs air.

The King breaks them apart grabbing his face ardently, "Is it really you? Jang Bong Hwan?" His name sounds foreign on his tongue and now it's his turn to be speechless.

"You kn-kn-know my name? You know who I am?" He stutters incredulously, feeling the tears streaming from his eyes but this time doing nothing to stop them.

"I know everything. I know you're a man from the future, you were telling the truth. You always told me the truth."

He feels steamrolled, pressed out and flattened by this discovery. He knew that and he was still here hugging him? It didn't make sense.

"How do you feel? About the truth?" It's not an easy question to ask but he needs to know the answer, there are in a different time now. Cheoljong hadn't said such when he had explained to him that sexuality was more fluid in the future, people were allowed to express themselves in many ways. There was no right or wrong way to love.

It was a nice sentiment, but this was a Joseon period. Everything was different here.

"I love you."

He's not expecting that answer and he stares with his mouth open, feeling himself being drawn into a tighter hug his small body slotting perfectly into Cheoljong's. It's unnerving and familiar being this much smaller than him again.

"I love you so much. I don't care what form you take, I'll love you every single time." He growls the last words, rumbling between their bodies.

He's never said these words out loud to anyone but his mother, but he knows that he means it. He's never wanted to say them to anyone before but now he can't wait, he's bursting with it.

"I love you too. Life was empty without you, I was walking in an endless desert. You are my oasis." They stare at each other passionately, the King's fingers warm on his cheeks as he clutches at his royal robes. They gravitate towards each other as their lips meet and the universe rights itself. He moans at the sensation of having his King's lips back on his, the kiss tethers into frantic in mere seconds. All of their longing and heartache colluding as they slam into each other.

Their tongue slide and twist around each other, he nibbles at the King's lip letting him lick at his open mouth gasping as a hand grips the nape of his neck.

He grabs the King's hair pulling him closer so he can plunge his tongue deeper, swallowing his hardy groans and letting some breathy moans escape from his bruised lips. It's going to take some getting used to, being so slight once more, whimpering as the King easily manhandles him pushing him back onto the bedding and bracketing him in his powerful arms.

The move knocks his head into the floor, momentarily dazing him as a soft "Oof," falls from his lips.

The King reacts immediately, drawing away with concern pouring from his face.

"I apologize my Que...en I was too eager, you've just woken from a vegetative state. Now is not the appropriate time for such.... activities. I will control myself." He notices the King's hesitation as he pauses while saying the title which has become something more for them.

"It's okay. You can still call me that it means too much to me now and I don't want you to be careful. I've spent all this time feeling alone and empty, trying to find other," now he hesitates and the King's eyes widen and then scowl in comprehension, "Means to feel alive. It was all futile, nothing compared to you."

The declaration does little to douse the jealousy he can feel surging off his King, he almost purrs in response. Excited. Electrified.

"I will make you forget about all others. My name is the only that will fall from these lips," Cheoljong rubs a large thumb across the his full bottom lip, seductively. "I missed you so much and I'll show you just how much."

"I spent so much time hoping to get back to my dragon, only to miss yours too much to enjoy my own. It's sad isn't it?" He pouts reaching out boldly to grab the King's thick cock peeking through his layers.

The King smirks, crawling over him before lifting up his dress easily and lowering his undergarments with a swift tug.

"My dragon missed you immensely, it's time to get reacquainted. " Cheoljong warns before slipping into his body without preamble, he shouts and tightens at the intrusion.

Every cell in his body feels alive and buzzing.

They get acquainted all night, into the wee hours of the morning hoarse shouts filling Daejajoen hall as all the court ladies blush and cover their faces bashfully. Hong Yeon smiles knowingly at Court Lady Choi, both with matching 'earmuffs' the Queen had gifted them long ago.

"Mr. Jang, can you hear me? Mr. Jang?" She struggles to regain conscious as a light is shined into both of her eyes, blinking wildly she turns her head away trying to escape the bright glare.

"I apologize. I had to check your pupils. How are you feeling? You've been in a coma for three days. We were very worried since you had been comatose just a month prior. It's not good for the human brain to be in that state several times." She listens absently to the doctor(?) too fascinated by all the unfamiliar things surrounding her.

There's a strange machine beeping away next to her and something attached to her arm, her eyes bulge at her arm, it is larger thick with muscles she's never had before. She flexes and watches entranced as her arm gets even bigger.

"Mr.Jang, are you okay?" Finally she glances over at the feminine voice, clipped and professional but a tinge of genuine concern.

She's gorgeous, a round face and wide almond eyes that are scanning something in her hands, she has thick hair that is held up in a topknot with tendrils framing her face and her lips are succulent and rosy red, she feels blood rushing to her nether regions. When the doctor notices her staring she puts down the thing in her hands, to meet her gaze head on.

"Mr. Jang?" She finally realizes that's her name, Jang Bong Hwan.

"What's your name?" She feels compelled to ask as if this is the most important question she'll ever utter, something tugs in her stomach as they stare at each other.

"Dr. Won Beom."

She smiles.

Author's note: This will be my canon moving forward in my future untouchable updates, I'll also be incorporating a love story behind Director Hong and Kim Hwan because they are the sweetest beans and I feel like they can get great advice on their relationship from our King and Queen. 🥴😉 I was very selfish with this fix-it I don't want to let go of my Joseon family, so we're staying here instead.

#mr.queen #queen cheorin #king cheoljong #kim soyong #jang bong hwan #sobong #mad homo #as it was intended #bath tub time travel #science #no touch princess

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