#technically no longer sunday where i'm at-- but~...

[larcenywrites]

For Love, We Sin the Most

Nightcrawler x Reader

Technically spoilers if you read any x-men anthology and haven't made it through second coming/ haven't read quest for nightcrawler. I don't get into many details or stay very canon anyway lol

Warnings: 18+ | no pronouns or assignments used for reader | unprotected sex | sex in a church | kinda public sex? | an established relationship of some kind ;) | sad | but happy ending! sort of | lots of plot with some porn | comfort/fluff | a little foreplay, a little aftercare | light bondage? sorry I really love his tail

Word count: 2,650

Summary: The resident catholic is having a hard time settling with the terms of his resurrection and just trying to feel again.

When Rachel frantically called on you to find Nightcrawler, you probably preferred to find him in battle, fighting demons. Luckily, on a Sunday morning, you knew exactly where to look first, creaking open the large wooden door just enough to pass through into the small lobby. The lights were off, but there was low singing from further inside. You would have proceeded to peek past that second set of doors, but the quick flick of blue that curled out from the sunlight and into the shadows nearby finished your investigation for you. 

Well, you did, in fact, find him fighting demons.

This would normally be the part where you'd tease him about being terrible at hiding, but you didn't need to see his face to hold your tongue. Instead, you found a nearby panel of switches, flooding his side of the room in low light. Without the darkness, he could no longer blend and hide, but he didn't recoil. Hunched over, his hands were clasped together on his knees, and his tail tightly curled over his feet. You approached him wordlessly. You could tell he was focused but not on you, proven when he crossed himself right on cue. A cue you hardly heard yourself. 

He continued to sit still for a few minutes. Obviously, he knew who stood before him. Otherwise he would have hid. Taking a deep breath, you placed a hand on his shoulder. "Shouldn't you be attending the service?" You asked softly. 

"I," he finally choked out after several moments. "I'm not sure I am allowed to anymore." His words, although quiet, dripped with despair. For him, this welcoming foyer was his ancient narthex, created for those who weren't allowed into the sanctuary but still wished to listen to its sermon. 

"Have you spoken to a Father about it?" Without further knowledge, you can only suggest a priest. 

"And what would I say?" Kurt raised his voice in his anguish and grimaced at his own volume. "What would he say?" He tagged on, much quieter this time. He practically curled into himself as if he were cold. You sighed sadly at the sight, looking away. A small staircase in the corner caught your interest and gave you another idea. Reaching your hands down to his, you unfurled his hands from one another and took them into yours. At the gesture, he finally lifted his head to look at you. It took all you could not to take his sad face in your hands instead. 

"I think he would tell you to come in," you reply in a gentle whisper. You smile down at him as you barely tug him towards you, convincing him to stand. When he finally does, you study him. His black blazer and black slacks, his white button-up shirt. A few top buttons were messily undone, but it only made him more handsome. Silently, with a hand in his, you led him up those wooden steps. Your intuition was right when they opened into a high balcony overlooking the inner room. That narrow gallery stretched against the wall was mostly dark, with only the tops of stained glass windows bleeding in light over the single row of benches. There was a reason someone like him chose such a dark, unpopulated church. 

As you began to leave the doorway, deadweight stopped you in your tracks. Looking back, a pair of downcast yellow eyes glowed under the wooden arch. Naturally, he blended into the shadow. You came back to him, taking his other hand and settling between him and the wall. At the very least, maybe it would help for him to see this place again, you figured. You let him listen, watching him closely as he watched the floor. 

And what a horrible day for a sermon about heaven. 

"I saw it, you know," he barely spoke up, accent whispering like a snake. "Paradise." He said the word hauntingly, not with any grandeur nor remorse. He turned his head as he spoke, looking down at the alter, but he seemed distant. Perhaps in memory. The light of the window caught his eye and reflected brilliant pale yellow. In the darkness, the other was like fire. 

"And yet you came back," you whispered back. Even you weren't quite sure what you meant by it, but he knew it wasn't merely an observation. Contemplating, he stared down into the room. The priest below continued, but you only wanted to hear whatever else Kurt had to say. 

"There were many reasons I did what I did," he soon continued, still not looking at you. "Did it the way I did." He never told you the full story, not even Logan knew. You waited for more, but he didn't respond. He probably didn't want to talk about it—at least, not for another few minutes.

"I never thought that love would be my greatest sin," he finally said. "I wanted so badly to come back," he nearly sobbed, quickly putting his hand over his mouth to keep from interrupting the service below. He gathered himself for a few moments. 

"To this place," he continued, "to my friends," he sighs before turning towards you, his fiery orbs still refusing to meet your gaze, "to you." Even when you cupped his cheek in your hand, his hand you left behind followed, fingers wrapping around your wrist. "That it would be greater than my love for God," he started but didn't finish when his voice began to rise again. By now he was rambling about things you hardly understood, but you hung on to every word. 

"You said it yourself," you gently tease, more loving than lighthearted. "There is no love without sin." With a soft smile, your touch on his cheek stroked over the fur on his neck and drifted over what bare upper chest those undone buttons revealed. You knew you shouldn't, not here, but as his expression only grew more somber, you found yourself sliding your hand further, reaching the space above his heart for only a second before frantic yet gentle fingers pulled you away, afraid of what you'd find.

Or the lack thereof. 

You couldn't stand to see him so sad, not even willing to look at you. As the preaching continued somewhere down below, something about fulfillment, there was really only one thing on your mind as you continued to watch his pained eyes. "Do you miss it?" You didn't mean to let your emotion ring in your tone as you whispered— doubt, disappointment, sadness. He picked up on it, raising his face once more to meet your gaze. Solemn eyes panicked, realizing his mistake. With a change of posture, he stepped closer, grasping your arm and placing your palm over his chest again. "Not in the same way I missed here," he reassured you. His eyes were still sad, but so earnest. You could feel the metal cross hanging from his pendant with how hard he pressed your palm into his chest. You both stared at one another in silence, but understanding. 

Something about the word doom was quietly uttered through the archway.  

"I realize now that I had already found Paradise," he proclaimed longingly, leaning in slightly. Though flattered, you only half-smiled. 

"You shouldn't talk like that here," you whispered, cupping his jaw. "Surely it's a sin." 

And he'd already cut his path of redemption short enough. 

"And yet it would be a sin not to." His tone was almost desperate. He leaned in closer, head tilted dangerously close to a kiss. You began to protest, but his grip on your arm tightened in defiance. "My soul is already adrift elsewhere," he hissed in a hurried whisper, "and He has no use for my body." He shook his head in defeat, tilting his chin to kiss the hand that held him before looking back up. "So if it's all I have left, I will use it to worship who does." His voice cracked against your lips, and he practically fell into you. 

Your back hit the wall with a thud that made you panic, but any protest of his name was muffled and lost between his lips. He could only follow what made him feel at the moment, and he'd come to his senses later, but right now, he was desperate to atone for his sins in a different way. It was a long, suffocating kiss that was touch-starved, hardly focused on any particular pleasure other than the need for your warmth. Despite knowing your current circumstances, you relaxed into him, taking your hand from his face and gripping the soft, indigo curls on the back of his head. He took that as his cue to press into you impossibly more, knees knocking with yours as you both nearly buckled from his weight. 

Finally, he pulled back just enough to catch his breath, warm breath fanning against your cheek a few times before eagerly diving back in. This time, he moved with you. Your noses knocked each time he rolled his head to find his favorite angle, and, in annoyance, you tried to hold him still with your hand on his neck and your grip on his hair. In response, his lips parted, tongue lapping at your top lip and tentatively touching yours when you let him in. 

His grip on your waist was harsh, almost as if he was scared that if he let go even a little, he might lose this moment forever. As if he couldn't hold you enough, his tail joined in, wrapping itself beneath your ass and tightly snaking around your waist. You felt him smile into the kiss when you pet over the peach fuzz of his tail before he abruptly pulled away from your lips, tongue sliding over your bottom lip as he withdrew into your neck. Sweetly, he kisses your pulse. And you know where he's going. 

"We should 'port somewhere else," you suggest softly. The light kisses on your neck become open-mouthed and wet, showing you just what he thinks about your suggestion. You catch the words reunion with God bouncing off the wall, and you weren't sure if the devil himself said it or the clergyman was sermonizing below. You tilted your head back for him at the prickling feeling of his fangs. 

With a mind of their own, your hands worked down the rest of the button on his shirt, splaying your fingers through the velvety fluff of his chest, barely able to feel the warm beating of his heart. At least you knew that he was alive, in some way or another. 

Making sure you could feel all of him, you pushed his blazer and shirt off his shoulders, feeling him down and scratching over his abs just the way he used to like it, and he tensed them just the way you remember. 

When his hands left your hips to slide off his clothes, they came back to do the same to you, sliding under your top and over your bare skin. You let him undress you, and eventually, you both stood nude. 

Even after being… gone for so long, he remembered just where to touch you. He held your hips flush with his while licked over your nipple, pawed between your legs, and tickled your inner thigh with the curling of his fuzzy tail. Feeling boneless, the wall helped him to hold you up while you focused on covering your mouth to muffle your pleasured moans and sighs. 

You were suddenly spun around, strong arms wrapped tightly around you as they swiftly lowered you to the wooden floor. Kurt's lithe form settled between your legs, back bowed as he bent down to mouth over your stomach. On his knees, he worshiped you carnally, hands gripping over-excitedly at your thighs and waist. 

Fingers around your wrist pulled your hand from your mouth, quickly replaced with that crushing pair of full lips again. Some would say he was desecrating holy ground, but Kurt would say quite the opposite. In a nest of clothes, right there in the dark loft of his place of faith, he took you. Whether it was because he was most comforted here or because he was angry at the circumstances, his hips pumped into you with a fervor that had you clawing into his back and biting his shoulder to muffle your whines. 

The floor was cold and hard and uncomfortable as he rocked you back and forth, but he was the opposite— warm and soft and lovingly fucking you into the ground. Luckily, the pious music drifting through the doorway covered up the sound of his cock slapping into you and his hissing moans as you bit and carved the punishment of love into his skin. 

You were ripped from his shoulder when he sat up, not even bothering to cover your gasping moan at the change in angle. Blunt nails dug into your skin as he held your hips, making your legs squirm and draw up behind him with the overstimulated pleasure. 

It was like a perverse religious painting, with his cross pendant wildly swinging above you and fangs gleaming along with his eyes; his tail, pointed like a devil's, bound your legs around his waist. This was heaven to him right now, watching you arch your back off the ground and eyes fluttering heavily as you both found that perfect sweet spot. 

It was when you came on him that his glowing eyes beheld the glorious sight he was searching for. He kept going, desperate to keep the image of your moaning, parted lips in his mind, and keep the feeling of your warm cream that dripped over his cock. "Oh~ mein gott," he growled at the way you tightened around him. You could almost laugh at the way he said it if you weren't busy trying to recover. "(Y/N)," he panted and spoke your name like gospel. "My dearest."

Your only response could be a meek whimper of his name, but it was enough when you weakly rolled your head to look up at him. If you couldn't tell by the way his brows raised and furrowed, you knew that he was right on the edge by the constriction of his tail around your ankles, keeping you bound around him while he came, throbbing, deep inside you. 

It was quiet now, aside from panting and the sounds of the congregation conversing and slowly departing that same creaking door that got you here in the first place. You felt you could finally relax and close your eyes when the last of the noise was shut out with the door, and you could finally stretch out your legs again as you felt his tail unravel. He had the same idea, stretching out his legs when he fell into your side. He let you have your space, but that sneaky tail laid loosely over your thigh. 

You felt a sort of regret for him as you turned to take in the proper view of his nude form lying elegantly in your bed of disheveled clothes, wishing to know what this meant for him… but you weren't going to ask, letting him bask in release— whatever kind it was. You reached for his pendant, twirling the chain between your fingers and observing the discoloration of the metal cross. Without even opening an eye, he took your attention away from it with a touch, making you hold his hand against his chest instead. 

"I-" You eventually break the silence but pause, unsure what excerpt you should say. It gets his attention, eyes lifting to look into yours. You muster a smile. "I'm glad you're back," you say softly, simply. Despite the circumstances, despite what it meant, despite what it's already done to you, you wanted to add, but his own bittersweet smile already knew what you meant. 

"Me too," he whispered and brought your hand up from his chest to kiss your knuckles. "Me too, my dear." 

[sadkachow]

And Then It Is Monday - Why Sunday's plan did not (and could not) work

So normally I don't really make longer analysis posts, but I kept seeing people on social media outright supporting Sunday's actions in 2.2, and I wrote something out about why I personally think that Sunday's plan is wrong. I don't know if this is an issue with tumblr as well, given that the people I saw supporting him were on different forms of social media, but regardless.

Before I begin, I'd like to pose a reminder that the opinions in this are mine and mine alone. If you agree, awesome! If not, I'd love to hear your thoughts on it, so long as you're respectful! I have no idea if this is well written or will make any logical sense, but here we go!

(Spoilers for the 2.2 Trailblazer quest under the cut, if that wasn't already obvious)

So the first thing to get off the table: I feel Sunday is a very sympathetic villain, but a villain nonetheless. I understand the people that sympathize with him. I do too, to an extent. He was raised on unhealthy ideals and the belief that he was a "religious figure," one that people looked up to. Other people were allowed to just be, but Sunday always had to be better. He loved his sister, and the people around him, and he wanted to make a better world for them.

But that does not excuse what he did. Making a 'better world' can never come at the cost of taking away people's free will, because that world will never be "better". That's where Sunday's plan falls apart.

Because, yes, there are shitty people in the world, and yes bad things happen. Would it be amazing if we could stop all the bad things from happening ever again, and make the world a much better place? Yes! It would! I would love to live in a world where I don't have to fear for my life and my freedom for an assortment of reasons! But that world doesn't exist--in real life or on Penacony--, and getting it to exist shouldn't be the result of subjugating and controlling other people, because that in and of itself is violence. Albeit a different kind of violence, but violence nonetheless.

Not to mention that things like Sunday's plan and the concept of forcing everyone to act a certain way just to fit this "better world" to me almost serves as a condemnation of human nature and of the very act of choice itself. Your better world starts by saying that some choices are bad, so those choices get taken away, but where does it end? What if someone in charge views a harmless choice as a bad one, and takes away that one in return? Does it stop there, or does it continue, until no one at all is allowed to make any decisions, except those in charge? Who, really, does that benefit?

Consequences for certain choices exist. Generally, society says murder is bad (except for specific circumstances such as self-defense, which technically at that point is no longer even considered murder (at least where I live, it may be different in other areas, but I'm basing this off of my own experience)), so there is a concrete consequence to people murdering people--assuming that they don't get away with it. It doesn't stop people from murdering people, because the liberty of choice is still there, but it shows that just because you can do something doesn't mean you should or that you will escape without consequence.

People are going to do bad things. That is, unfortunately, how humans are. But our responsibility lies in holding ourselves accountable and in promoting growth and healing. That is how you build a better world. Not trapping everyone inside a dream world without any care for their feelings or beliefs, but in getting people the help they need, in fostering a society of positive change and human connection.

And that is why, as "golden" as Sunday's dream may have seemed, it was never going to work. In the end, as the story quest shows, human will and the desire for freedom wins out in the end. When there's a will, there's a way.

[13a07s]

My Everything #1

(Shoyo Hinata)

[Artwork is not mine! Credit to mx_opg]

Requested by: Myself

Word Count: 3,607

Warnings and/or Pre-Notes:

Shoyo being a love struck clingy boy

There's a hint of bokuaka

Gets a bit heated towards the end (making out and technical dry humping)

Part Two?

———————————————————————

     I can feel Shoyo's burning stare from where I stand in the gym doorway. He's not the only jackal staring though. Miya's eyes are set in the same direction, sights locked on his girlfriend who's standing in the doorframe next to me, waiting for her boyfriend just like I am. The jackals are stretched out across the floor, doing their cool-downs as their coach rambles on about their match tomorrow.

The coach claps, the usual lead-up to the players' dismissal. A second or two passes before Shoyo is up on his feet, racing toward me before any of the other players can beat him to the entrance.

     The spaz doesn't slow down as he approaches me, full speed ahead as he dashes forward. His arms wrap around me when he finally comes in contact with me. My feet dragging for a moment before Shoyo manages to pull me up. He stumbles out the door, struggling to slow down and balance both our weights as he moves.

     "Hello, baby. I missed you. What did you do while I was at practice? You look beautiful. I love these pants on you. Did you pack our bags yet? Called the chauffeur? I don't want to drive us. I missed you, did I tell you that? Because I did miss you. I thought of you every second we were apart. Well, not every second. I thought about volleyball a lot but when I wasn't thinking about plays and practice and such I was thinking of you. I missed you so much."

     My golden retriever of a boyfriend rambles on, word vomiting as he squeezes me between his arms, kisses being slobbered against my face. I'm pranced around the grass right outside the gym, clinging to Shoyo's shoulders as he bounces around. I swear, if he had a tail it would be wagging a mile a minute right now. "I love you so much," he whines like it's pained him having to go three hours without saying it. The admiration is paired with another messy kiss pressed onto my cheek.

     Shoyo is attached to my hip as much as he can be, that time is split up by his workout routines. An hour run first thing in the morning, his team training for three hours in the afternoon, an evening two-hour workout session at the gym, and then a final hour run at night. Five days a week, leaving Sundays and Thursdays for ourselves.

     His days off are the best. Sundays are our lazy days at home and Thursdays are always packed full of adventures, secret dates, and running to hide from Shoyo's publicity. My wonderful, famous spiker of a boyfriend does all he can to keep me hidden from the world, at least personal information about me; no pictures, my name is nowhere to be seen, and no interviews or statements.

     He acknowledges me all the time though, to the point there are millions of videos centered around us. "Taking a Shot Every Time Hinata Shoyo Mentions His Girlfriend" and compilations of him talking about me in his interviews.

     My heart skips a beat every time I watch a new interview of him. "My girlfriend", "my baby", "my girl", "my cheerleader", and a million other things always fall from his mouth, usually followed by a compliment or a thank you or something about me he loves. Nothing beats watching him gush over how much he loves me and how proud he is to bring me home another win.

     "I love you too," I mutter, chasing his lips for a moment before I get the kiss I want and he so desperately seems to need.

     Happy sighs spill from him, being caught in my mouth as Shoyo kisses me back, hands tightening on my thighs from his enjoyment. "You... are... my... whole... heart," he mutters, pecking my lips between each word. "My everything," he adds, another kiss, this one longer and rougher with his longing for me.

     "You're my everything," I echo Shoyo's little saying, my heart skipping again.

     The first game I came to was wonderful, his team won, and everyone was thrilled. Afterward, an interviewer asked why it was 'his best game yet'. Without missing a beat, he pointed to the stands, a big grin on his face as he answered, "My everything was in the stands today. I can't bring her home a loss so I made sure to bring her home a win." Even now I can't help but feel giddy thinking about it. I never knew dating an athlete would be filled with so much pride, glee, and romance.

Gently, Shoyo sets me on my feet, fingertips toying with my belt loops as he tugs on my pants. "I love you. I love these pants on you. I love your eyes. I love your hair. I love you so much," he whines, using the loops to tug me closer to him.

"I love you too, Sho," I giggle, looping my arms around his neck before leaning to kiss him again.

     "I would love a lack of PDA," Miya chuckles from the gym door, an arm around his girlfriend as he leans down to plop a kiss on her cheek. He's got two bags on his arms, one that I recognize as Shoyo's.

     "Sorry, Atsumu," He mutters, filled with shyness and cheeks pink from embarrassment.

     "I'm just giving you shit," his teammate continues to chuckle, leading himself and his girlfriend toward us. "See you tomorrow?" He asks, dropping the gym bag at Shoyo's feet.

     "Bright and early," he chirps, nodding in agreement before bending down to pick up his bag. "Come on, baby," he coos, arm wrapped around my hips, elbow pressed against one as his fingertips press against the other one. It makes it awkward to walk, especially with Shoyo tugging me closer to his side, but it makes him happy so I deal with the stumbling.

     Once our feet hit the pavement of the parking lot, his hand slides into my pants pocket, snatching the keys before he races forward. I stroll after him, watching him eagerly bounce with the passenger door held open for me. "Thank you," I hum, kissing his cheek before I slide into the car.

     Shoyo squirms with happiness as he bends down, buckling my seatbelt for me and pecking my lips before closing the car door. My eyes trail after him, watching him bounce to his side of the car, repeating his actions to himself. "You are so pretty," he whispers, puppy-dog eyes set on me for a second before he focuses on starting the car.

     When the soft hum of the engine is started, a hand settles on my thigh, fingers squeezing hard enough to make gentle indents in my flesh. His other hand clings to the steering wheel, releasing it long enough to switch the car's gears before backing out of the parking spot. Shoyo looks so hot when he drives, it's almost a shame he wants to take a chauffeur to Shizuoka.

                        ———————————

     My feet uneasily slide against the wood floors of our condo, trying to keep myself steady as Shoyo hangs on me. One of his hands is gripping my belt loops again, the other one balling up my hair at the nape of my neck. My head is shifted, giving the clingy man full access to the side of my neck. Access that he happily uses, peppering tight kisses and soft nibbles to the skin.

He trails around after me, close enough to keep his hold, and accidentally bumping into me every few steps. Shoyo doesn't let up as I hang the car keys, or when I lead us toward our room. He only parts from me long enough to take his bag off and toss it next to the closet. "Come here," he whines, wrapping his arms around me again.

Like at the gym, I'm lifted off my feet, but this time I'm quickly put down again. I'm left sitting on the bed, the eager man quickly crawling into my lap and bullying me into lying down on the mattress. "Sho, I have to finish packing," I murmur, hands burying themselves into his firey locks.

"In a minute," he barely answers, situating himself so I'm caged between the bed and him. Shoyo's hands are tipping under my shirt, fingertips resting above my waistband but palms still pressed against the bones of my hips. My lover boy is arched as he hunches over me, knees sandwiched with the bed and my sides as he hovers, a bit of his weight pressing into me but not to the full extent. "I missed you."

"I missed you too," I coo, twirling the untamed ends of his hair around a few of my fingers. My neck sizzles from the constant attention to it; kisses, nibbles, and the occasional soft suckle.

     A few times, Shoyo's legs tighten on my sides before relaxing again. His hands wander occasionally too, rubbing my lower stomach before falling back into place. "Okay, I feel better now," he mutters, sucking on a patch of skin before rolling off of me.

     I shake my head at the needy boy, sitting upright once he's off of me. When I go to slide off the bed, he catches a belt loop again. "You're so beautiful," he whispers, quickly sitting up to stamp a kiss on the back of my shoulder.

     "You're so handsome," I compliment back, shooting a smile over my shoulder. Shoyo's grin widens, another smiley kiss to my shoulder before I'm released and he's flopped on the bed again. "Needy boy," I tease, successfully sliding off the bed this time.

     "Just for you, my everything," he flirts, arms over his face so all I can see is his sparkly teeth still settled in a smile.

     The nickname makes my cheeks heat up, the lingering feeling of his lips against my skin somehow burning even more now. I shake the feeling off, eyes falling to the forgotten sports bag on the floor. I roll my eyes at the volleyball player spread out on the bed, a smile still painted on my lips as I pick up after him.

     I unzip the opening, tipping it over to spill the context of it out. A million different things spill out, landing on the floor. I do a quick swipe through it with a wet wipe too, making a mental note to run it through the laundry when we get home. Once the bag is cleaned out, I settle on the ground, set to start dividing up the contents; laundry, back in the bag, throw away.

     As I'm sorting things into their piles, the sound of him moving catches my attention. I amusingly watch him slide off the bed, lying on the floor as he scoots his way towards me. The whole time he slithers around his bright eyes are locked on me, watching me slowly repack his bag for him. "Hello, Honey," I coo when he gets closer, the crown of his head tapping against my thigh before he settles.

     "Hello," Shoyo echoes, moving around a bit so he can rest his head in my lap. "What are you doing?"

     "Cleaning out your volleyball bag," I mutter, a hand falling away from my task to gently scratch his scalp.

     "How'd I get lucky enough to have a woman like you to take care of me?" He sighs, eyes closed, and his face relaxed as he enjoys my soft touch.

     I roll my eyes again, my smile growing at his flattery. "Sho, it took two months of us dating before you started begging me to move in and be your 'little homemaker'," I tease, starting my mental checklist of missing items. Jersey, clean water bottle, towel, snacks.

"And it was the best decision of my life," Shoyo says, eyes snapping open to look up at me.

     I try to ignore the look on his face, the love and certainty waving off of him as he admires me. I need to focus on finishing our packing and texting Kozume about sending one of his drivers. If I give into his flattery, we'll never make it to the hotel in time for check-in.

     Shoyo turns onto his side, shifting again to bury his head into my stomach, arms wrapped around my leg as he gets comfortable. "I'm excited you're coming with me this time," he whispers into my belly, rubbing his nose against me. "I always play better when I get to have breakfast with you before my game."

     "I know, Hon," I hum continuing to scratch his head, this time paired with kisses decorating the side of his face. "But," I start again, tugging my touch away from him. "If you want to make it to your game you have to let me finish packing so we can get going."

     "Fine," Shoyo sighs, shoving his face into me in a half-kiss half-head butt before rolling off of me again. "You're so beautiful, it's wonderful," he mutters, eyes still locked on me as I crawl off the floor.

     "Thank you."

     "Of course, baby."

                        ———————————

     Shoyo squirms in his seat, his leg bouncing and his hands messing with his seatbelt. His eyes jump around too, out the window for a moment before skipping to the divider's rearview mirror and finally sliding over to me before repeating the cycle. He never does well on car rides unless he's the one driving. Maybe I should have bickered with him about it.

My eyes are cast on my phone, skimming over the "Volleyball is the Main Chick, We're the Side Chicks" group chat. It's a group of the girlfriends and wives - and Akaashi - of the Jackal players. I shake my head, mostly aimed at Bokuto when my eyes scan over Akaashi's message. When are those two going to confess their feelings for each other? Never, probably. They'll grow old together as "just roommates".

"Pay attention to me," Shoyo whines, snatching my phone from me. "I miss you."

     "How can you miss me? I'm right here," I tease, letting the clinger have my phone and my undivided attention.

     "I'm not touching you. I miss your warmth... and your kisses," he mutters, starting sorrowful before getting more excited.

     I shake my head at him, leaning across the middle seat to press my lips against his. Shoyo is instantly thrilled, happily kissing me back as a hand jumps up to cup under my chin. His other hand quickly finds my knee, squeezing it before sliding up to rub my thigh. "Silly boy," I hum, starting to pull away from him.

     "No," he whines, his hand sliding off my chin to cup the back of my neck. "I want you. Come here," he continues to whimper, a pout on his lips as he tries to tug me back toward him by my thigh, hand still clinging to my neck to keep my head in place. "Please come here."

     "I'm as close as I can get, Honey," I utter, giving in and continuing to peck his lips.

     Shoyo melts into the kisses, soft whimpers and whines spilling from him every time I inch away from his mouth. "I need you. I need your kisses. Come closer," he wails, falling into my little cat-and-mouse game, eager lips chasing after mine. Every few attempts he fails, his kisses landing on my cheeks or the corners of my mouth.

     "I'm as close as I can get," the words come out jumbled because of his lips hungrily pressed against mine.

     The hand on my thigh crawls up my body, back to messing with the belt loops of my pants. The hand on my neck wobbles its way down my body, bumping against my hip as he struggles to unclip my seatbelt. An excited sigh spills from Sho when the click fills the car, both hands strung through my belt loops now. I'm tugged across the backseat and yanked onto his lap.

     "You're beautiful. I love you, so much. You're perfect. I adore you. You're excellent. You're my everything," he rambles, jittery hands struggling to undo his seatbelt. "I missed you so much while I was at practice. I miss you anytime we're apart. It's going to be so fun playing tomorrow but it's going to suck being so far away from you all day," he continues to jabber yanking me forward once he manages to untangle himself.

     "Calm down, Honey," I coo, settling my arms over his shoulders.

     Shoyo's eyes are wide and glossy as he looks up at me, so much compassion wrapped up in them. "I love you so much though," he babbles, continuing to pull on my belt loops as if I could get any closer to him. "You're my everything. Everything," he repeats, emphasizing the word by dragging it out. "Please, baby?"

     My teeth graze my bottom lip, Shoyo's desperation for me stirring in my veins. He's always been clingy, but he's even more high-maintenance before a game. My cute, needy, lover boy. "Please what, Honey?"

     "Kiss me," he whispers, pushing me back a bit before jerking me forward again. "Pretty please."

     I hum in approval, tightening my arms around his neck as I rock my hips against his. A small whimper falls from Shoyo before I crash our lips together again.

     His hands finally leave my belt loops, shoving their way under my shirt before settling on my upper sides. The cloth of my shirt hangs over his wrists, showing off most of my torso and a peak of my bra. Shoyo's thumbs toy with the underwire of my garment, gently snapping it as he messes with the lace.

     His plush lips slide against mine, selfishly taking as many kisses as he likes. It's not long until Shoyo's tongue is poking at my lips, thumbs permanently settled under the wire of my bra now. A soft sigh is exhaled as I let my lips fall into a small gap. An excited squeak falls from my lover, his tongue sliding into my mouth and eagerly exploring my mouth, dancing over my tongue.

     When we finally part, his chest is pumping with a mix of neediness for air and me. "I can't wait to get to the hotel," he stumbles out, his words as shaky as his breathing. "I can't wait to make my everything feel everything she makes me feel," Shoyo sighs, slightly rocking his hips against mine, his head tipping to the side.

     His lips settle on my neck again, not wasting time with butterfly kisses as he did earlier. He's instantly sucking on my neck, enough to make it tingle but not enough to promise a mark. I let my head tip too, lulling to the side so my energetic boy can waste some of his energy.

     Maybe it wasn't the wrong decision to not bicker about having a driver take us to Shizuoka. Oh my God, the driver. "Shoyo!" I yelp, hand to his chest to push him back a bit. "We have company," I hiss, jerking my head toward the drive.

     "So?" He murmurs, pulling me against him again, lips already back on my neck, suckling teasing tingles into my skin. "Kenma's drivers won't say anything or else they wouldn't be his drivers," Shoyo hums, already attached to my throat again. "Just let me make you feel good." Shivers shutter through my body, both helping me relax and getting me excited. I love dating an athlete.

                        ———————————

     My eyes flicker between the desk worker and my phone, uselessly scrolling through it as Shoyo talks to the lady. He - and Bokuto - are beaming as they ramble about the match tomorrow. Akaashi is settled next to me, doing the same thing as our boyfriends act like the spazs they are.

     The desk lady doesn't seem to mind them though, a love-struck expression on her face as she talks to the spikers. I always thought I'd be one of those jealous girls who wouldn't be able to stand Shoyo's fan girls. Surprisingly, I'm not. I find it almost funny how they are so obsessed with him knowing he only has eyes for me.

     A smile settles on my lips as I focus on my phone again, his clinginess, especially in the car, replaying in my mind. The smugness doesn't stay for long though. I scroll for less than a minute before my heart drops.

     Plastered on my phone - on the internet - is a picture of Shoyo and me. A picture of us in the car, of me in his lap, of his hands very obviously under my shirt, of his mouth eagerly suctioned to my neck. I don't know how, but thank the lord you can't see my face. However, you can easily make it out as him in the picture. He's tagged in the picture, the picture already with a hundred thousand likes and a little over a thousand comments.

     I stall for a moment, not sure if I should check the comments or not. I decide not to. I do however decide to share the link to the group chat. Instantly, Akaashi's phone dings, his eyebrow cocking up as he looks at me. "I don't want to talk about it until after Shoyo knows," I whisper, my tone a bit hissy as I glance at the man next to me.

     "Don't look at the comments," he mutters, letting the conversation drop after his statement. Akaashi's words make me both a bit frightened and intrigued, but I know how the public can be. It would be better not to look. I won't look.

———————————————————————

[cas-backwards-tie]

I'm new to you page and wa wondering if you had discontinued the pack plan series as its brilliant:))

Ahhh, well, welcome! 💖🥰🫂 We’re so glad to have you here! I want to thank you for reaching out and asking 💕 I always appreciate asks! Even when they’re not related to my fics.

TOPP is definitely still in the works! And because you asked so nicely and cared to inquire, I feel like I owe it to all of you all to post a snippet of the next chapter! 🙌🏻 Because I definitely realize and know how long you guys have been waiting! I’ll post the snippet and then I also can give you an update about the fic/where I’m at, at the bottom.

Snippet of Ch.2:

"Why wouldn't you just tell us?!" Soap grits out, his voice taking on a dark tone as he turns his once sky blue, now stormy, eyes on you. "Do you realize what position you've gone and put us in?"

“Yeah, and what position’s that?” You engage, turning to square off against Johnny, the both of you only a foot apart since you’d been standing next to each other in line.

You’re met with a low warning growl, the motion of his hand balling up into a fist at his side not being missed by your peripheral vision. Despite your defiance not being unusual within the team, your designation now, is known, and an Omega standing up to an Alpha? Not taken kindly upon. Nor is it taken lightly. Regardless, they’re not your Alphas, and that means they have no claim over what you do or say. And while there’s always the risk of an Alpha disciplining an unruly, unclaimed Omega, you’re willing to take it.

"It's your fault, really," Ghost eggs on, making everyone whip their heads in his direction.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[If you don’t know what this is in reference too, here’s the masterlist for the series in question!]

So the reason why I haven’t posted the chapter yet is for a few reasons 💕 One, from a writing standpoint this one is quite longer, and I want it to be amazing for you guys! When I was writing the first chapter I had a friend to help me with the dialogue (which is why I feel I really struggle) and rn I don’t, so I think I’ve been nervous about that a bit.

But also, because in my real life there’s been a lot of major changes recently. In September I found out that I have CIRS (Chronic Inflammatory Response Syndrome) which, is basically like mold sickness but, like, permanent. So I’ve been trying to find somewhere safe to move/detox from the mold w meds bc my body can’t on its own, and I’m actually just finally moving into my new apartment on Sunday! 💖🙌🏻 so that’s cool.

Besides that, I also got diagnosed with, like, idk, I guess it’s a disability, technically, and the fact that I’ve been struggling my whole life with it but never knew has been… kind of mind blowing tbh? Like I haven’t told anyone except one person about it—not even my best friends yet—bc it’s been a lot to work through since… I guess I’ve technically had this my whole life but only now know at 25? 😅🤯

So it’s been a lot of working on my health both physically, mentally, and with moving, my family, Christmas coming up, and trying to find a job/support myself even day-to-day, it’s been kind of taxing tbh balancing everything. And that’s not even mentioning the little social life I do have 😅😭🙈 So while I know it’s frustrating waiting, and I’m sorry that it’s taken so long, I do want to be open and tell you guys what’s going on behind the scenes 💕 Granted, I know not everyone necessarily cares, and that’s okay! If you did read all this, though, I appreciate you and hope you have an amazing day!

Your ask, though, Nonnie definitely is inspiring me to sit down and really finish the next two chapters bc I have both laid out- one nearly finished, the other will be shorter (I think?) because of the plot point it’s mostly about 💕 I will say though, too, it does make me a bit anxious not having had a whole plan for this fic unlike the others which I’ve sort of started writing with a whole plot in mind 😂🙈💖 so I just hope you guys will continue to love it ask much as you’ve loved the first chapter! I genuinely have never received as much love on a work than that one chapter, alone! So I am truly grateful 💖

[13agota]

Here's a tiny little ficlet because I have nothing better to do with my Sunday except ignore research PowerPoints and precharting. It didn't fit in any other longer form stories, but I still like the idea, so it's landing on Tumblr. SFW (for once)!

-

Kaz leans his back against the dirty brick wall. They've stopped next to a light fixture and it's brighter than he's comfortable with. He turns his head so the brim of his hat will shade his face.

Inej's hood shields her features from the eyes of the few passerbys as she notes the crags in the alley walls. She confirms she'll be able to climb them for a job later this week.

When Inej turns back to him, the light clearly illuminates her face as it emerges from the cave of her hood. Her eyes are gleaming. Two glossy shards of amber that twinkle in the light of the streetlamp's flame.

Kaz knows that look. She wants to try.

A tilt of his head is all the permission she needs, and her lips meet his.

It's both a small thing and it's not. They've worked up to this point for months. These days they can manage a kiss in the street as if it's never left then shaking on opposite ends of a room. It feels like nothing short of a miracle, though Kaz acknowledges he has no business being involved with anything of the sort.

Inej leans into it, and Kaz squeezes the crow head of his cane to keep from touching her waist.

It's not smart to do this in public. Two people canoodling against a wall at this hour hardly earns the batting of an eyelash, but if they're recognized, it's too much risk. The night is about as deep as it gets and people are starting to get sloppy, but he doesn't need anyone spotting the two of them in what is technically Razorgull territory. Even as his lips part for her, he tracks a reveler as he stumbles over the cobblestones.

Inej pulls back. "Distracted?" she says, though there's still mirth in her eyes.

"This streetlamp is bright. I'd hate for any familiar faces to find us in this neighborhood," he says as he peers around the corner behind him. The light cuts a shadow, obscuring the alleyway to their side in a wedge of blackness. He can't make out any movement there, and it's completely silent. Probably fine.

"You'd prefer somewhere less visible?" She asks.

"I'd prefer somewhere where only your Saints can see us."

"I could request a shady corner for us," she says, fitting her hips against his. "Should be easy enough in a place like Ketterdam for my Saints to arrange."

His gloved hand flutters instinctively to the curve of her back. He still isn't sure why she lets him to touch her like this. In dreams he leaves a black, tar-like substance on her skin, marring her shine. He wonders when she'll finally come to her senses and put an end to the way he stains her. On the days when the guilt gets strong enough, he hopes it's before his black heart swallows her whole.

"I suspect they wouldn't approve of Dirtyhands smothering their most treasured beacon of righteousness in the dark," he says.

A smirk tugs her pretty mouth. She side-eyes him, like he's missing something he should really know better by now.

"I'm the Wraith, remember?" she says. "The dark is my home. It belongs to me." And then she presses her lips to his again. Tugging on his waistcoat, she pulls him into the alley, over the shadowy threshold and into the dark.

[grifff17]

Audiodrama Sunday 8/25/2024

Happy audiodrama Sunday! Lets get right into it.

NEW SHOW ALERT Case Study: IREC-A59 is a new sci-fi audiodrama about first contact with aliens - from the perspective of the aliens. I really enjoyed the pilot episode, it has a cool framing device. The basic premise of the story is a really cool unique idea. Also, the captain really sounds like Zach Valenti of Wolf 359, I genuinely thought he was until the credits.

I listened to part 2 of @midstpodcast's Moonward. The line “I think I have a crush on my leg” really got me, but also like it’s a really interesting character arc. David is so likeable!

In @wanderersjournalpod the plot thickens. Is the journal making them swap places by subconsciously walking toward where the other is? Will this cause them to meet eventually?

I continues listening to @cryptonature. The background worldbuilding in this show is so interesting. Are cryptids widely known? Does that make them no longer cryptids, technically speaking? Also the guests are crazy, a McElroy in episode 6?

I finally got around to starting season 5 of @victoriocity. I forgot how good the narration in this show is. It really reminds me of Discworld/The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. Excited to see where the plot goes with the beast in this season.

I'm continuing to (slowly) catch up on Rude tales of magic. This week I started Bears! The Blessing of the Obelisk. It was really funny, when the cast break on this show I always do too.

On Spout Lore this week there was the finale of the Critshow crossover. It was fun, I hope they do more crossovers. Then later this week the new season started. I swear Billy is such a good character, such a great and well done example of the the “immortal child” trope. Jessica understands playing kid characters so well. This was almost a serious episode, between the funeral and the horror.

In Skyjacks: Courier's Call this week Cici is back! God I wish I was one quarter as outgoing and unafraid of what people think about me as Cici is. The entity at the end was so intimidating, I wonder if Cici is going to end up getting her curse from it. I like the idea that when the kids reunite, they all have something new to show the others.

With the @electromancypodcast update, and someone asking me for magic school story recommendations recently, Electromancy has really been on my mind lately, so I've decided to start a relisten of it. I'll probably start that next week.

[moonshine-nightlight]

2024 Writing - Plans

similar to last year, i wanted to post a little look forward at my plans for writing this year are. the necessary disclaimer: this is 100% high level, optimistic, ideal situation and subject to change but i still like thinking about it and posting for anyone who's interested. see this post for last years!

so, i like separating things out it mini goals/sections so see below:

Nothing's Wrong with Dale: with DSM self-published under my belt, I'd like to focus on the NWWD publishing journey next! The main obstacles/costs are time and money. Hiring an editor and a cover artist are the pricey-est part of the process but my own edit (first to convert everything from 2nd POV to 3rd POV and then another high-level edit/revise once i've got it in the right POV) will take the most time and needs to be done before i hand it over to an editor. Then after the editor takes their time (and NWWD is much longer than DSM), and finally i need to process all of their edits as well. And i need to do all of this while i do my day job lol.

i've already converted the first 11 chapters to 3rd POV (i hav some IRL friends/betas who only read that version, so if u feel like the tumblr version took a lot of time lol). the timing of being able to publish this year will all end up depending on how quickly i can do all that and kick off the part of the process that depends on outside parties. Even if i manage to self-publish in this year, i don't expect it to come out until lik December and even that's ideal, super best case scenario.

Long Stories: I want to outline both A Perfectly Ordinary Research Position and Shadow Diplomacy and then pick one to be the new long story on here. I do what i call a chapter outline and a scene outline, which is confusing to not!me because the scene = a chapter on here. i should probably rename that process lol. (NWWD was 11 'chapters' and 35 'scenes' for reference).

once i pick a project, i just hope to post as many chapters as i can. Since this will be new, long, and likely just building steam, i actually think it'll be my lower priority after the Short Stories and NWWD publishing, but we'll see. i'd like to start putting that up in June, according to my tentative 2024 schedule.

Short Stories: Since i didn't get as many of these done in 2023 and they've been haunting my brain longer, i want to for sure get some of these shorter stories done. learning from last years overestimation lol, i plan to post 3 short stories: Courtship Confusion, Feral, and finish Free Piano: Haunted, in that order. i'm excited about all these stories and will let me cover 3 different types of pairings (although technically all are Reader) which is fun. All have been outlined and have parts and pieces written. I wish Feral and FPH could both happen in the fall but the timing just doesnt work out so summers gonna b a little spooky lol.

The schedule i worked out makes it so all this will be possible, but also basically has no breaks in sunday postings after my haitus which is beyond optimistic but i lik to start overly confident lol

Hiatus: this is also your reminder that my work has a specific Busy Season which honestly started already (lucky me) and i will b beyond busy Jan-March at a minimum. i hav more projects than ever with my promotion, a lot to learn, and a lot to juggle so minimum 6 day work weeks will be the name of the game - but hopefully all goes well and i'll get a nice bonus i can feed directly to my editors lol

anyway, that's where i'm at right now and I'm looking forward to all the exciting writing and publishing to come in 2024!

Feel free to send in any asks about upcoming/current stories!

Thanks again for all your support in 2023 and Happy New Year!

[the-amber-raven]

Snippet Sunday

It's just past midnight here, so it is technically Sunday... and when I wake up it will be all about NYE and I have no faith that I'll have time to post so doing it before bed! It's been a hell of a crazy and kind of awful few weeks quite frankly, but I'm proud of myself for completing the first chapter of the 6b fic before the end of year.

I haven't done one in a while, so have a slightly longer snippet where Bobby gets some initial inklings that Buck is perhaps more involved in the Diaz family than he realised:

--

“Are you sure you don’t want to make yourself one, Buckaroo? There really is a perfectly good room for you to stay in.” 

“Bobby said he’d make blueberry pancakes for breakfast,” Harry added enthusiastically. “And I’m working on getting him to do his mac and cheese for dinner!” 

“That does sound amazing, but I need to pick Christopher up from his party tonight so I definitely can’t,” Buck said apologetically. He was genuinely regretful, because the idea of waking up to Bobby’s pancakes and then maybe helping him bake mac and cheese while Athena and Harry hovered near them as they caught up and unpacked Harry’s things was a pretty amazing fantasy that he would have enjoyed indulging in. 

“Christopher?” Bobby said sharply, startled and concerned. “Is everything alright with Eddie?” 

“Of course,” Buck replied, mystified as to what had made Bobby jump to that conclusion. “Eddie dropped him off, I just offered to do the pick-up."

"Eddie didn't feel comfortable driving at night...?" Bobby probed, mouth pressed together in worry. There was a brief period, right after his breakdown, where Eddie had avoided driving at night since he was anxious about potentially getting triggered by something so Buck supposed he could understand where Bobby's worry was coming from.

"No, nothing like that. It just didn't seem like there was much point in him going when I was planning to crash at Eddie's anyway."

Bobby didn't look any less concerned, so Buck expanded his explanation.

"I promised Chris that we could plan out our next zoo visit tomorrow. They’re offering koala photos at the moment plus there’s some new baby gibbons so we need to make some sacrifices and adjust our usual schedule.” 

Bobby opened his mouth, probably to ask for more detail because he now looked puzzled. 

However, Harry jumped in first, his eyes wide with wonder. “As in you can take a photo with a koala?”  

“You can take one holding a koala if you want.” Buck pulled out his phone, handing it over to Harry once he found the screenshot that he’d sent to Eddie which explained the experience and showed a sample photo. He angled it so that Bobby could also see the phone, wondering if maybe Bobby hadn’t been aware that the LA zoo had Australian native animals and that was why he was confused? 

--

Hope y'all have a Happy and Safe New Year's Eve! And may the muse be stronger than ever in 2024 ;)

[that-disabled-princess]

Six Sentence/Stitch Sunday

Thanks for the tags this (very early) morning @j-nipper-95 @cosmicalart @hushed-chorus and @letraspal! How is it COTTA posting week already? What? Where did this past week go?

Speaking of COTTA: I'm putting together a behind-the-scenes post, which includes all my dead darlings, behind the writing commentary, and other things! Including some crochet... so keep an eye out for that! It'll get posted... sometime after COTTA. I still have ruthari week to contend with next week 😅 Maybe I'll post it on my birthday as a birthday treat. Or maybe not, since I'm planning to go to Lake Michigan and be autistic about rocks and watch musicals with my best friend that day.

One final teaser from Lavender hearts before Wednesday:

I feel like a child being reprimanded for sticking my hand in the homosexual cookie jar.

Baz's morbid humor, showing through once again.

I've also got a mystery crochet pattern in the works! Can you guess who I'm designing 👀

And! I had a stroke of inspiration on my Sad EthariTM fic last night!! It's going to be two parts with a hopeful ending (my soul needs some healing after Lavender hearts). Since I already shared one sentence above, here are five new ones from this fic:

He falls asleep out here sometimes. Arms resting on the stone, head pillowed on his sleeves. When he’s not backed up on orders or house chores that Runaan is no longer around to help him with, he sometimes sits to watch Rayla’s lotus.

To make sure she’s safe.

To reassure himself she’s alive.

I've got some fun (painful) things planned for this fic. My hurt no comfort muscle has been put to good use lately.

I know I don't technically have to stick to six sentences, but it's fun to challenge myself.

Tagging @bazzybelle @youarenevertooold @imagineacoolusername @yeonjunenby @aristocratic-otter @artsyunderstudy @tea-brigade @iamamythologicalcreature @forabeatofadrum @stitchyqueer @hoothalcyon @legend-of-the-fandoms @larkral @wellbelesbian @cutestkilla 💖💖

[cryptidsurveys]

Friday, October 11th, 2024.

What was the filling in the last doughnut you ate? It didn't have any filling, but it was strawberry flavored.

Do you remember what you had for dinner on Saturday evening? Either a salad or a sandwich with mixed veggies. It's almost always one of those two things. I'm a very, very repetitive eater. My tastes and routines eventually change, though, so I kind of wonder what's next.

When was the last time you bought a new pair of shoes? What kind/colour? Last summer. I bought a black and white pair of slip-ons and a black pair of regular laced shoes (kind of like Converse but not).

Do you own any items of clothing that you've never worn? Yeah.

When you shop for new clothes, do you ask anyone else for an opinion? I might have when I was younger, but not in recent years.

What was the last thing that you considered buying, but chose not to? Halloween decorations. I did get a few things, but I tried not to go completely overboard. I decided I am going to decorate and hand out candy after all. Keep the tradition alive.

Who was the last person you were required to buy a gift for? I wasn't required to buy her a gift, but I bought some things for my mom last Christmas.

And what did you choose? A stuffed penguin (they're her absolute favorite animal), a Cheshire cat mug, a movie gift card, and a concept book (not really sure what to call it?) for one of her favorite artists.

Have you ever accidentally bought someone a gift that they already had? I've purchased the same item from someone's wish list as someone else, but I don't know whether I was technically the second person or not.

Can you recall the last time you bought flowers for someone? What kind? I don't think I've ever bought anyone flowers.

And when was the last time someone sent flowers to you? What kind? I don't think anyone has ever sent me flowers. Bought them, maybe, but I can't be sure of that either.

Are you a keen reader? If so, what books are you planning to read soon? I'm not nearly as keen of a reader as I used to be. I also don't have any serious plans regarding what to read next. There are books I would like to read, but I know myself well enough not to make any promises.

How many books do you think you own? Just take a rough guess. Idk where to draw the line between books I personally own and books that exist within this house, but maybe something like 100+. That's excluding religious books that are definitely my dad's; but if we include those, then...who even knows. He's got a little library.

Are there any books that you own more than one copy of? Possibly. The most likely one would be Watership Down.

Lipstick, lip gloss, or neither? Just chapstick.

What brand of mascara do you use, if any? None.

What was the last minor disappointment that you experienced? Car trouble last Sunday that prevented my dad and I from going to the Mountain Park. We made it out there yesterday, though.

Do you have loyalty cards for any of your favourite stores? Which one(s)? I don't. I should probably get one for the movie theater, though. I think I go there often enough that it would be worthwhile.

What scent does your hand sanitizing gel have? It doesn't have a particular scent.

What does your favourite mask look like, if you have a favourite? This question was on a relatively recent survey, and I remember wondering whether the survey-maker meant a Covid mask or a Halloween mask. Considering this question comes just after a hand sanitizer one, I'm going to assume they mean a Covid mask. I had some cute ones that I snagged from a doctor's waiting room before Covid was even a thing. They were meant for kids and had little designs on them, but I no longer remember what they were. For the most part, though, I just wore the stereotypical blue masks. I didn't have any reusable/stylish ones.

Do you remember what you had for lunch last Sunday? The same "either/or" I mentioned for the dinner question above.

Is there a bottle anywhere close to you? What does it contain? There's a water bottle and a migraine med bottle on my desk.

As a child, what was a trait or habit you had that annoyed your parents? My mom was occasionally annoyed by my shyness. I was very reluctant to talk to cashiers, waiters, etc. I don't think she was frustrated in a mean way, but more like, "You're going to have to learn how to do this eventually…"

What was the last TV series that you watched for the first time? I'm not sure.

And what did you think of it? N/a.

Tell me about something you did within the last week, that brought you joy. Go on a hike with my dad. He can't go as far as he used to, which is admittedly sad/disappointing, but it makes me treasure the adventures we do have all the more.

[thegeminisage]

OKAY it's tng update time. i forgot to do it yesterday so today i'm doing four eps. sunday we did "evolution" and "the ensigns of command" and yesterday we caught "the survivors" and "who watches the watchers"

evolution: this one had a slow start and i didn't much care for the guest character of the week but once it got going i actually had fun rooting for him to fail. you SHOOT the nanites? jail for dr whoever! jail for 1000 years!!

wesley was not really annoying in this episode! i was so prepared for the worst when it was like oh wesley's SCHOOL EXPERIMENT has GONE WRONG but it was fine actually!! he was like. normal

i was soooo glad to see beverly crusher again. a season of pulaski really makes her shine in comparison. PLUS she didn't talk about being a woman like the WHOLE time. i mean she kind of did but it was fine except when she got nosey about wesley's dating life lol i mean the woman has been away from her son for a year. also idr whoever was like man not cool beverly for leaving UNFAIR. she got fired. it wasn't her fault. idk if i've ever defended her before. feels weird.

FASCINATED with guinans backstory. when she started talking about her son i was like oh q is her son! of course! no, idiot. a real luke-and-clary moment. iykyk. tho technically q can make himself look like whatever and adoptive still counts. it's fine. they have something going on but idk what

the ensigns of command: this one was SOOOOO good what a breath of fucking fresh air

i LOVED data in this! i loved that he got to do stuff and be important and fail and nobody was mean to him and in the end he succeeded. AND got a love interest. wonderful. treat him really niceys. also that meme about the book being shorter if [character] had a gun. that's data. good for him

also i KNOW he knows how kissing works i didn't forget he fucked tasha yar

this episode was surprisingly funny. you get gradually more and more frustrated with the leader until data dead ass pulls a fucking phaser on him. you get more and more frustrated with the sheliak and it's like kind of funny that they keep hanging up on picard, but then picard rules lawyers them and hangs up on THEM and does the fucking white glove inspection while he metaphorically lets the phone ring off the hook. the longer he took to answer the funnier it got, i was genuinely cracking up. idr what post it was that i said i had yet to see picard's spine and so he was utterly unlikable but i saw it in the episode where data went on trial and i saw it here in a much funnier way. he simply had enough it was fantastic

data and the music!!! he was so sad when picard had to leave and i was very pleasantly surprised when picard took the time to not only listen to the recording later but compliment data on it and encourage his creative side. it's so much nicer than anyone was to data in the first two seasons 🥺

the survivors: this one was...okay. not great but definitely watchable. the mystery definitely kept me hooked bc i wanted to know what was going on, but it would have been much better if we'd had the tools to solve it, the way picard did, instead of the answer just being "this guy is just magic." i did like that his wife turned out to not even be real because that's fucking nuts but like. for what purpose. like we were yelling theories like oh her tea is poisoned! the music box is cursed! and meanwhile it's like no he's just magic. there was no trail of clues to follow at all.

poor deanna in this episode lol. points off for having her naked under that blanket. for what purpose do you need to undress her to treat her...y'all don't do that to riker. that said the psychic torture via music box was kind of metal actually like obviously horrible but i like that she CAN be incapacitated

also, wtf was that at the end where he was like yeah i killed every member of that entire species even the ones who are lightyears away because my magic is that powerful. and picard was just like. alright well we don't have laws that can try you so go back to your planet with your fake wife ig. bye!

YOU LITERALLY DO HAVE LAWS. THEY WERE GOING TO BRING KODOS IN TO FACE JUSTICE YOU LITERALLY DO HAVE LAWS FOR PEOPLE WHO COMMIT GENOCIDE. it's fine. i'm normal.

who watches the watchers: our rule for s3 is that we're watching all of them until we hit three duds in a row. this one was DEFINITELY a dud

first of all, the breaking of the prime directive was ridiculously sloppy here. SECONDLY, it is ALWAYS a bad idea to have some culture mistake anybody for god. it wouldn't have mattered if every one of those aliens had been white and picard had not been white it STILL would have been racist but it's even MORE racist because they're worshipping AND KNEELING BEFORE a white guy with a british accent. it's particularly insulting too that these are supposed to be "proto-vulcans"

also, if they really were proto-vulcans they would NOT have been rational as presented they would have been off the fucking wall insane with bloodlust. do none of us remember anything about canon. god.

the fantasy racefaking. THEY LOOKED SO BAD LOL

our main side guy was quite annoying and basically just looking for an excuse to kill deanna? should have let him die tbh

anyway it was a stinker. the longer the fake worship dragged on the worse it became.

that being said, s3 has largely been a blast so far. tbh i talked a big game but part of me didn't believe u guys when you said it got better. but it literally did?! and thank god bc i don't know how much more i could have taken lol

[momo-de-avis]

how long is your routine home - work commute? i'm adapting to mine and trying to shave off time where i can so i can sleep a little more and get home earlier but right now i feel like i'm just work n sleep and it's killing me lol. literally insane that something that would take 30ish minutes on car takes 2 hours in bus and train and whatever else (you take the ferry right?)

Yes, I take the ferry. So, I actually take 3 different transports. Metro on this side of the river (or bus, whatever comes first tbh), then ferry, then ferry again because, technically, yes I could walk to Baixa from Cais do Sodré (I mean it's 15 minutes) but also my job is to walk so fuck that.

On an average weekday, it takes me anywhere from 30-45 minutes because both ferries and metros run more often. On saturdays, a little longer. On sundays and holidays, though, it's a pain in the ass because I spend more time waiting for shit than ON shit. The ferry alone is 8 minutes. The metro on my side of the river is 15. If I take the bus, that's 5-10 minutes. The metro in Lisbon is 3 minutes. It's supposed to be fast. Then again, it is Portugal. So I often have to wait 15-20 minutes for anything to show up.

Unfortunately on saundays (and I always work on sundays, call me a masochist but it's actually my favourite day of the week to do tours) I have to wake up ridiculisly early (7.00/7.15 AM for a tour that starts at 9.30) because there's so much wait. Like, today I left my home at 8.15 and STILL arrived at 9.25 at the goddamn meeting point. "But you could check schedules beforehand and plan it better" I could, if I lived in a normal country and not this ass of europe backwards piece of ass where schedules are just a suggestion. When I first started this job I had everything planned out, exactly whay ferry to take and what metro to get on. I arrived late every day because the ferries kept getting cancelled and the metro was NEVER on time. So I just said fuck it.

I really don't know how to go around this tbh. I try to be productive in public transport, at the very least reading a book. Or sleep, fuck that I'm tired, and it's 8AM nobody cares. I also try to do the least possible at home, and just leave cleaning and stuff to days off, otherwise it will kill me. Like, does it get to a point where cleaning becomes an urgency because I've neglected it for seven days? Absolutely. But I dont live in a pigsty, it's just my bathroom needs a sweeping and I'd rather not collapse of exhaustion. A little vacuuming here and there when it's warranted and that's it

[lilliesforya]

Uniqlo in Ginza and Animate in Akihabara

9/20 I went to Tokyo this past Sunday with Katie. It took us like 15 minutes to find each other in Tokyo station. Tokyo station is so large that when my train goes underground to start to pull in, it goes for like 6 minutes at regular speed before it stops at the platform. Afterwards, we walked to a Starbucks that was close by. I went to this exact one 2 weeks prior during my disastrous phone repair sponsored trip to Tokyo, the apple store employee told me where to go. The building it is next to is really big and on the inside there's a large place in the middle for art installations or this time it was various regional omiyage being sold. This time I got a triple espresso iced latte with oat milk and the espresso was so strong I was thrilled. We shared a banana rice milk muffin and an American waffle. Both were good but the waffle was better. I love Starbucks because it feels the same no matter where you are in the world (though the nice cups and plates did make it hard for me to suspend my belief).

I needed shirts for work so we went to the giant Uniqlo in Ginza. It may be the biggest technically but it's vertically big, so when we were going up each escalator to every floor the floors seemed small to me. The Osaka Uniqlo felt bigger to me even though it was only 3 floors if I remember correctly, because it was horizontally larger (than vertically). The store was beautiful and had a lot of winter clothes out and everything was organized well. I needed summer clothes though and so we spent a longer time looking for t-shirts and pants. It's still really hot here and in Tokyo so I'm not sure why the fall/winter clothes are in full swing. I got some work appropriate t-shirts and lounge pants but I couldn't find any work pants that aren't full trousers. I also got a nice dark green sweatshirt for 1990 yen which is crazy because in the US in winter those sweatshirts are like 40/50 dollars.

After Uniqlo we went to the Shake Shack we had passed on the way there. The food was so good it felt like we had been reborn. The seasonal lemonade is mango right now, and it was seriously amazing. We both agreed it would taste really good with vodka too. There's also a black sesame shake on the menu currently and I want to try it despite not being able to. By the grace of god, we got seats just as we were walking back to stand around a table.

I was excited to see the Animate because it's well known for carrying all sorts of anime goods. It was really cool to see as a whole. I was surprised by the lack of escalators for the 7 floors. There was an elevator but only one. I found Bungou Stray Dogs stuff. I'm lucky that season 5 is in the middle of airing right now because that's why there was merch. There wasnt that much to choose from in my opinion but im also devoted to two side characters (technically speaking). I did get a folder with Chuuya on it to hang in my house. There was a lot of Genshin merch. This was so fun to see in person. There were buttons for practically every character and I finally found Ayato (my genshin main) merch! I got cute Ayato themed post-its and a Tartagila plushie/ keychain. I was hoping for any Trigun merch or Honkai Star Rail merch but there was none. The lack of Trigun stuff didn't surprise me because that's more popular in America. But HSR is new and I see ads on the train all the time for it and so I was surprised that there was nothing. Definitely better for my wallet but not my heart.

[poisonouswritings]

Rant below:

(TLDR; One of my classes had a two part final exam, I did both parts and triple-checked they were submitted, I log on yesterday and it says one half wasn't even started and says I'm un-enrolled from the class. Today (20th) is the day the teacher is inputting final grades. I've emailed the teacher and am waiting for a response and am going to throw myself down a set of stairs.)

I am soooo fucking exhausted. I had this class, right? And I joined late. Within the allotted time (three weeks from the start of the semester) but late. And because I joined late, there were three assignments that I had missed. I did them and submitted them within the first week of being in the class. Emailed the teacher and she said she would add them in. Because of the way the categories were weighted, one singular 1.0 point assignment made up 30% of my total grade (because it was the only assignment in that category). And she just never fucking added it in. I emailed her at least five times about it. Nothing. She still hasn't added it in and we're technically done with the class now. That means that even though I was getting ≈90% on every single thing I was submitting, I was barely at a C because of that one category. And then she finally added something else to that category that was worth way more points, and my grade finally went from like a 72% to a 94% and it was like. Okay. Fine. You still didn't add the original three assignments that I repeatedly emailed you about, but fine. Whatever. I'll drop it.

Our final was online. Opened on Wednesday the 14th, closed Monday the 19th at 10PM. There were two parts. I finished them both on Wednesday at around 6 and 7 PM respectively. I triple-checked they were both submitted. I went to the completed assessments tab (this was in a separate site that we used specifically for tests, not the main grade site) and they both showed up but said the grades were unavailable until Monday the 19th after 10PM. Okay. Fine. I checked again on Friday the 16th and Sunday the 18th, thinking that maybe if everyone finished early the grades would release sooner. Didn't happen. Both assignments showed up as completed, but I couldn't see the grades. That's fine.

Yesterday (the 19th), I had a final in the morning/afternoon. My last final, specifically. And then I went to the airport to pick my sister up because she's coming to visit for Christmas. I get home at around 11:30 PM. I decide I'm gonna go check on my final grade because I'm curious as to what I got. I log onto the testing site and it says one half of the test wasn't even started.

Um. What the fuck.

I immediately try to go to the completed assessments tab where it fucking said I had finished them both on Wednesday, and I get a 'You Are No Longer Enrolled In This Course' message (meaning the course has been closed for access).

Um. What the fuck.

I try to go back onto my dashboard to where it says the test wasn't even started. I get the same not-enrolled message.

Um. What the fuck.

So at this point it's 11:49 PM and I'm emailing my teacher and on the verge of a panic attack because I have put soooo much fucking work into this stupid fucking class all semester. I did that fucking exam. But guess what? If this situation doesn't get fixed, and she just marks it as incomplete (just like with the first three fucking assignments), my grade goes from a 96% to a fucking 78% because of the way the columns are weighted.

I'm. Just. So fucking exhausted. I feel painfully burnt out. What's the point of trying if I'm just gonna get dicked over again and again? It's barely 7AM so I obviously haven't received a response yet. She said in an announcement earlier on Monday that she's finalizing grades today (the 20th). And I'm fucking terrified that she's just going to ignore my emails like she did at the beginning of the semester. I'm fully prepared to escalate this to the damn department heads if I have to, but I am just,,,, so. tired.

[hearts-hunger]

are you catholic? how did you get into it?

i am! well, okay, not yet, technically - i'm planning to officially go through rcia and get confirmed into the church just as soon as possible. but, in the meantime, i do the best i can with what i've got (go to mass every sunday, read my bible daily, do consecrations to different saints, pray the rosary, etc.)

i've been a part of lots of different denominations before i landed with the catholic church - when i was very young my family went to a baptist church, and throughout my childhood we were lutherans, episcopalians, and anglicans. (gradually moving up to catholicism, ha.) i was a part of RUF in college, which is a presbyterian student ministry, so i've been all over the map and met wonderful, godly people in every single denomination.

i started going to mass in college too, with my roommate and best friend, and that was my first step into the catholic church. my parents just went through rcia and got confirmed in the church this last year, and that's been a part of my own walk as well. even from my early teenagerhood i saw there were only a few things that separated my personal beliefs from catholic doctrine, and those things, by the grace of god, are no longer hurdles for me. the last major struggle i had with catholic doctrine was accepting the immaculate conception of mary, and i've just recently overcome that roadblock in the last few weeks (thanks, in large part, to my devotion to st. joseph, who showed me just how cool his wife is and how much jesus delights in me opening my heart to her).

so, i'm catholic. (just not formally, yet.) and pretty recently, though i know this is where god has been leading me my whole life. i believe the fullness of the gospel is found in the catholic church, and i'm very happy to finally be able to rest in what i know is the truth.

[fangedbeau]

Clearing up misconceptions abt DE 🇪🇺🇩🇪

Let me clear up some misconceptions about Germany — and specifically ones that are spread by Germans themselves:

No voter registration needed?

Wherever the abyssal election conditions in the USA are looked upon, the comments section will mention how over here we don't need to go register to vote; all eligible voters just get the election notification in their mail.

If you're German, then that's how you experience it, right? If you're American, think about this: how could the government send documents to every citizen of voting age and not forget anyone, and not send duplicates to anyone, even when they have moved from one state to another? And don't just say that the government is incompetent. How would a competent government do that? They can't. They don't know reliably where everyone lives.

So how does our government do it? With voter registration. So, no, we don't register specifically for voting. But we have mandatory registration for a bunch of purposes, including voting. We update the registry whenever we move to a new address, regardless of elections. So people don't think of it as voter registration, but that still is part of it. And you can't pick and choose which purposes you actually want to be in the registry for and which you'd rather skip.

The USA don't have any existing registry like that. And I can't imagine that you would want that.

What's true, however is that we vote on Sundays and have enough polling places that there won't be waiting times longer than a few minutes.

But voter ID?

On that topic someone will usually note that Germany has voter ID though.

Ah, yes, in the election notification letter it always says that I should bring my ID card or travel passport. But you know what?

I've never had to show my ID at the polling place. I'm asked to bring one, just in case. But the letter was always enough. They cross me off their list and let me vote.

Also note that it's not anything wacky, like a weapons license, but my ID card or travel passport. You know what those two documents have in common? They are issued by the federal government and are printed based on the same registration data that is used to issue my election notification and send it to me. So the spelling of my name on my ID card and on my travel passport ought to match exactly that in the voter list, because they are taken from the same database. But, again, I never had to actually show my ID, only bring one along, just in case.

‘umfahren’ confusion?

Have you heard that ‘umfahren’ (unstressed um-) means ‘to drive around’ and ‘umfahren’ (stressed um-) means ‘to run over’, and they're written the exact same and differ only in syllable stress?

Well, the spelling of the infinitives is identical. That much is true. But otherwise the words are more distinct.

Imperative:

umfahre es — vs — fahre es um

Preterit:

ich umfuhr es — vs — ich fuhr es um

Past perfect:

ich habe es umfahren — vs — ich habe es umgefahren

And how often would you use the infinitive in a sentence in real life?

Furthermore, the widely repeated translation is inaccurate.

‘jmd./etw. überfahren’ means ‘to run s-b./sth. over’

‘jmd./etw. anfahren’ means ‘to hit s-b./sth. with a driving vehicle’

‘jmd./etw. umfahren’ (stressed um-) means ‘to topple s-b./sth. over by hitting them/it with a driving vehicle’

And ‘überfahren’ is the word that is more often colloquially misused when it's not technically accurate. The specific term ‘umfahren’ is not used as often as you may have thought when you heard the inaccurate translation.

Because tsunamis?

There's a strawman talking point claiming that because a nuclear accident in Japan was caused by a tsunami, Germany — that doesn't experience tsunamis — decided to quit nuclear power, which doesn't make sense. … Things tend to make no sense when you're missing the point.

Japan is at the junction of four tectonic plates. They experience earthquakes with some regularity, which at the ocean can cause tsunamis. And Japan is a technologically highly advanced nation.

The point isn't: «oh no, what if a tsunami hits a nuclear power plant?» The point is that this was to be expected and Japan was supposed to be prepared for it. They should have been able to safely power down the reactor but ended up in a situation in which that wasn't possible any more.

The same chain of events couldn't unfold here. But that same outcome shouldn't have been possible there. So how could we be confident that it wouldn't happen here under any circumstances?