#technically he could talk about it publically if he wanted to but 1. nobody would believe him and he would sound crazy

[br1ghtestlight]

realization that starr's relationship with them is the first truly private experience he's ever had in his life especially since he became famous :(

[almostempty]

Kick and Scream

Self Esteem Part 3

Pairing: fuckboy!Joel x f!reader

Summary: Joel catches you on a date and communicates how he feels about it (the only way he knows how).

Warnings: fuckboy!Joel, dub con, smut, pwp, unprotected piv sex, fingering, creampie, dirty talk, public sex, blow job, reader is still sippin' on some dumb bitch juice for Joel (me), jealous!joel, possessive!joel, emotionally manipulative but sexually proficient Joel, toxic breadcrumbing Joel fucks, smash and dash, no use of y/n, AU no outbreak, special guest appearance by date night dave, OOC Dave bc I don’t know that man so I made him single, rich, hot, and pervy idc idc idc, more i might be forgetting rn,  

Notes: please leave feedback! open to constructive criticism or delusional inspiration

Thanks: to EVERYONE who read part 1 and 2, but ESPECIALLY  @auteurdelabre for inspiring, I hope you enjoy it bb. I'll try to tag those who specifically asked for more brb, and @strangergraphics

WC: 9.3K (idk it got long and horny heheh) 

AO3: HERE | Masterlist: Here

Part 1: Self Esteem

Part 2: Want You Bad

Part 4: The more you suffer

You stare down at the hand that just landed on your thigh, cocking your head in assessment. You can feel the scowl tugging at the corners of your mouth. As you work out what expression you should paste onto your face instead, the man sitting next to you seems unbothered. Maybe even encouraged? He continues his lecture about the benefits of indoor rock climbing. You sigh, staring across the park as he continues without pausing to breathe. 

You watch the couples milling around the park, wondering if that’s what you look like with this guy's hand on your leg. You stare back down at it, his long fingers shifting slightly as he continues his animated speech. Sweat beads at the back of your neck, and you feel fidgety. Trapped under the weight of his limp hand. He doesn’t seem to notice when you squirm and readjust. He’s circled back to his earlier lecture about how you just have to learn to play an instrument. If he’d let you get a word in, you could verify that you already do, but he seems to prefer the sound of his own voice. 

This guy should get a podcast. The kind where a guy with a microphone talks to himself for three hours about whatever he wants. He’d crush it. You laugh to yourself, unintentionally encouraging him with your smile. He’s not not good-looking. But you’d prefer someone interested in asking you at least one question. 

You stifle a laugh at the intrusive thought of taking him home and stripping his clothes off while he prattles on about amateur bird-watching, sorry–birding, or unicycling. 

Eventually, you extricate yourself from the disappointing date, accept an awkward hug, and turn down dinner. You haven’t left the parking lot yet when your phone buzzes. 

Unsaved number: had a great time with u

Unsaved number: would love to see u again :) 

It’s not that your skin crawls, but it is a full-body no. 

You: thanks, I’m glad I got to know you more 

It’s not technically a lie. You’re glad you learned he’s not a fit for you. You feel okay about leaving it at that for now. You watch the sunset from your parking spot. The park is filled with couples laying on blankets being romantic. You roll your eyes at them and then at yourself for being bitter. Your phone buzzes again, and you wince, hoping it’s not your long-winded date again. It’s not. 

Joel: what you doing?

Fucking Miller. You scoff aloud in the private space of your front seat. By now, he should be on your blocked list, but the quick hit of euphoria that floods through your bloodstream, warming your cheeks, keeps you hooked. He’s a filthy drug that blinds you from logic or survival instincts. Your eyes dart to the pedestrians in the parking lot. Worried. As if the milling strangers know what you’re up to and are about to shame you. A little voice reminds you that if you feel guilty about something, you shouldn’t be doing it. You ignore that voice. Nobody in the parking lot catches on, coast clear, and you let yourself grin wide as a fool when you type your response. 

Later that night, you’re grinning again. Sprawled across your couch, sweaty skin plastered to the faux leather cushions. Sated. Bought and sold on your own lie, you tell the little voice that you didn’t want Joel to stay anyway. You convince yourself some form of compromise is happening, however twisted, when he shows up and leaves you wrecked. He comes to you. You don’t have to get to know each other to make each other feel good. Whatever puts you at ease. 

Sometimes it works. Some days, you feel hollow and anxious. Obsessively tapping your phone to see if he’s responded when you reach out first. Pacing around your home, stressing over whether you should stay up just in case and even in bed, you can’t help but stay alert for a knock at the door. 

The cycle leaves you with dark circles under your eyes most days. But, on the mornings after Joel shows up, you have a bright twinkle in your eyes and a knowing smirk that greets you in the bathroom mirror. Katie noticed the smirk one day and called you out. She demanded an explanation for the mystery dick fairy. 

You wouldn’t admit his identity to her, afraid of getting too involved with someone in her boyfriend's network. But you did admit to the toxic cycle, and your friend was not as amused as you when you tried to pass it off as a joke. She tried to convince you to look for someone to date, but you argued that wasn’t what you wanted anyway. She suggested at least someone who could commit to a plan or send a text back. You knew it didn’t sound great out loud. 

As the days of summer crawl along, you wonder if she’s right. At least, it was worth considering. It’s a feeble attempt to smother your spiraling thoughts about Joel. Still, when you start getting messages from the dating app Katie chose for you, it gives you something to interrupt your racing thoughts. At first. Somehow, it starts to feel even worse. Ignoring the sinking feeling you get when it isn’t Joel’s name in your notifications gets more challenging. 

You had accepted that it was a lost cause to plan anything with him, but you still can’t find the self-respect to turn him away when he shows up at your door. Sometimes, he sends you a grammatically inconsiderate text. You wonder if he somehow has a cell phone plan that still charges him by the message with the way he uses as few words as possible. 

He never stays. Never invites you to his. He evades any predictable behavior. Maybe he’s worried someone ordered a hit on him. Maybe that’s all it is, you muse. Not a contracted kill. The unpredictability. Chaos. That’s what makes him addictive. The brightness of the highs makes you temporarily forget the darkest lows exist. That, and the dirty little thoughts that pour from his mouth and drip into your psyche. That stupid, sexy voice burning into your memory, yeah, that’s definitely addictive. You snort at that. I am unwell, you think. As you pick up your phone again, you see a message from someone new. 

\\\///

Heat radiates off your face as you fling another shirt across the room. You’ve tried on the same three outfits over and over again. Ripping them over your head and tossing them into the pile of laundry purgatory. Maybe sweating and mouth-breathing is a turn-on for your date; if so, you’re gonna nail the first impression. You sigh and commit to option two: the little black dress. A classic, right? 

“Shit,” you curse at yourself when you stumble while attempting to pull your shoes on as you walk down the hall. This is what you get for agreeing to a late evening date on a weeknight; you feel like a mess. Scrambling to play it cool and classy, you pause to recalibrate before opening the door. What was his name? You can’t remember. He didn’t look like your usual type, but Katie had convinced you to branch out a little. More specifically, she told you it was a green flag already if he wasn’t your type. 

You swing the door open, hoping he introduces himself first. He looks expensive. The dark-washed denim, the boots, the jacket, and the watch. Like he walked out of an ad campaign for a brand out of your budget. Dave. He does introduce himself, thankfully. He’s more clean-cut than your usual type, but he speaks confidently and gives off an air of put-togetherness that intrigues you. His voice definitely stirs the butterflies in your stomach. 

Oh. You realize you’ve definitely been busy staring at him and have no idea what he actually said with his sultry bedroom voice. Your eyes widen a little. You don’t wanna fuck this up and embarrass yourself. Luckily, he seems unbothered. He tilts his head with a seductive half-smile. He’s enjoying the way you assess him. That definitely does it for you. Stupid, smug men making you weak in the knees. 

“You ready?” he asks, voice all smoky for no good reason. 

“Yeah,” you manage to say as you recall how to speak and act human. Until you see his luxury car waiting for you. He clocks your beat of hesitance. 

“Good.” 

His authoritative voice flips the right switch in you, and you let him lead. When he opens the door for you, it’s like the final component of his spell. You are bewitched. Under a thick veil, you didn’t even notice the truck that rolled by as you sank into the leather seat. You didn’t notice when the truck pulled over up the block, idling noisily on the quiet street. No, you were busy, focused on manually breathing and taking in what you’d describe as the interior of a spaceship. 

The good news is that Dave is charming. He is easy to talk to as he drives. Flirty and quick-witted. He asks you questions and pauses to consider your responses. You aren’t sure you have much in common, but you like his self-assured demeanor. 

When you walk into the club he’s brought you to, you hesitate once again, feeling underdressed. The club is split with a lounge on one side of the bar–full of intimate booths and plush chairs surrounding tiny tables and trendy mood lighting. Kind of like a swanky hotel lobby, you decide. On the other side of the bar is a dance floor, dimly lit with loud music blasting. Women in bodycon dresses and heels fill the room. You feel plain in comparison. 

“I didn’t know there was a dress code,” you mutter. 

“There isn’t,” Dave asserts, “besides, you look good in this.” He accentuates his statement by running his hand down your spine. It settles some of your nerves and lights up others. He ushers you, hand on your lower back, towards a small booth. And as you settle in, he’s undeniably charismatic. Dave doesn’t reveal much about himself but keeps you laughing and seems genuinely interested in you.  

Despite the loud music and people noise, it’s easy to feel like the room is only for you and him. You sip your drink and warm up to his affection. You’re quick to smile, and despite how serious he seems, he has a playful edge that has you on your toes. 

You can taste the chemistry between you, bright and sparkling. He spurs your confidence with his dark eyes when he not so subtly lets his gaze linger on your body. You stop shying away from attention and try to bask in it instead. It boosts your ego and stirs up your desire. 

When you let yourself look, really look, you decide Dave is handsome. His strong features, broad shoulders, and impeccable grooming work for him. He seems meticulous but not too uptight to have fun. A dark sense of humor flirts behind his twinkling dark eyes. You decide to let him know that you’ve determined he is a handsome man. He gives you a look. Like he already knew you thought that. Your cheeks warm slightly at that. Were you obvious? 

It’s not until he peels away from you to refill your drinks that you notice how close you have been sitting. You mourn the loss of his body heat as he walks away. You had low expectations after your last few dates, but tonight, this feels different. Your eyes trail along his path to the bar, and you lazily rest your chin in your palm before your breath hitches, and you freeze.  

You feel like you’ve swallowed a bowling ball. It’s lodged in your throat first, then constricting your chest, until finally, it sinks. A heavy, solid weight flipping your stomach. You’re locked on a different set of dark eyes. They’re glowering at you through lowered brows from across the room. Seated at the same bar where Dave ordered your drinks. 

Joel stares at you over his drink. He downs the glass without taking his eyes off of you. One quirked brow, asking really? 

Really what? Is he judging you? For what, being on a date? 

Another glass replaces his empty tumbler, but he doesn’t acknowledge the bartender or the rest of the world.

This fucking guy. 

The bowling ball in your gut mutates into something fiery. But, you have nothing to be guilty about. It’s not your fault he’s alone, bitter, and drinking at a bar full of people having more fun than him. In fact, you could say it’s his fault that you’re both here. 

A scowl forms on Joel’s face when Dave slides back into the booth beside you. Good. You hope he suffers. You hope he sees how easy it is for someone to treat you well. And how happy you look. 

You don’t hesitate to lean your body against Dave, giving in to your urges. You squeeze his arm when he makes you laugh, and your touch lingers. He preens under your admiration when you comment on his firm biceps. He is quick to match your advances. Finding excuses to brush your hair behind your ear and settling a heavy palm on your knee. His hand creeps a little higher up your thigh but doesn’t graze the hem of your dress. Respectful. That’s different. 

You don’t need to look again to feel Joel’s eyes burning into you. It incites you that he has the audacity. The gall to make faces at you for showing up on a date. You decide you’ll give Joel something to scowl about, feeling emboldened by your date’s touch.  

You slide Dave’s hand further up your leg, letting go when he gets the idea. You reach for your drink, feigning nonchalance, but your breath catches, and your hand trembles when he traces his fingertips around the crease of your thigh. He skirts beneath the hem of your underwear, drawing lines over your hip and back towards your center. 

The soft touch tickles deliciously, and you feel the anticipation building in your core. He watches your expression, hawklike, noting the tiniest details in the features of your face. He notes when your breath stutters or your eyelids flutter softly. 

“This what you wanted?” he husks, still watching intently. Yes, yes, yes! 

“Almost,” you toy. Something about having both men’s eyes on you has your skin itching with desire and your blood running hot. 

Dave scoffs softly, repeating your word choice and shaking his head. Almost. 

“You looking for more?” he taunts as he wedges his large hand fully between your legs to cup and tease your cunt. 

You can’t help the breathlessness of the yes that slips out of you. You roll into his palm, and your mouth parts at the friction and his boldness. He smiles wolfishly, flashing his teeth, when he feels you twist and rock against him. His look encourages you. And you tilt your hips and shift your legs to give him better access. 

“Dirty little thing, aren’t you?” he asks, still locked on your face. You swell at this. His eyes lower to your glossy lips before he sips casually from his drink, so composed. 

Your cheeks warm at his words, but he has his answer when he slips a finger beneath the damp lace between your legs and drags it through the pool of arousal gathering at your entrance. Your lips part at the contact, chest heaving, and you give him a nod and coy smile in response to his question. You’ll be his dirty little thing tonight. 

“That’s good,” he declares, pressing a kiss just below your ear before adding, “I’d like to do dirty things to you.” 

His husky voice and declaration stir an urgent need to be touched within you. He continues to agitate your nerves as his hand massages over your swollen sex. Your skin feels tight and prickly, tensing, ready to feel more. You’re unconcerned with the debased nature of being fingered in public. 

When your eyes are instinctually drawn back towards Joel, you shudder. You can feel the twitching of your clit as your cunt floods over Dave’s fingers. The depravity that another man’s glare eases the slip of your date’s teasing touch is not lost on you. Instead, it turns you on even more. Joel’s homicidal stare has you squirming. You’ve seen darkness in his eyes before, but not like this. There’s no twinkle of mocking, and it’s not cruel in a hot way. If looks could kill, then this room would look like the club scene from Blade. 

Dave murmurs something filthy in your ear that makes you gasp. Your hand flies to his thigh, gripping tightly to keep you from melting onto the floor. 

“Don’t be shy, dirty girl,” he croons darkly, “you can touch.” 

“Fuck,” you groan under your breath when you move your hand to find his hard cock straining against his well-fitted jeans. 

He chuckles lowly at the way your eyes widen in response before he plunges two fingers inside of you, and you stifle a throaty sound. Your mind still wanders to Joel, and you wonder if he can see your perverse display below the table. Judging by his clenched fists on the bar, you’d say whatever he can see is enough to fill in the blanks. The sick part of you that feels more turned on by his agony expands within you.  

“Oh god,” you whisper as you suck in air. 

Dave works his fingers lazily into you. You feel intoxicated by the attention of both men. A concern flashes through you that someone else in the club could catch on or see more than you’d like to show. But a feeling in your gut tells you that it doesn’t matter. Dave seems strikingly confident with a lethal attention to detail. And the ferocity on Joel’s face only eggs you on. 

When you think of humbling Joel, a sinister smile pulls at the corners of your mouth. He’s the one that unleashed the horny, risk-taking monster within you and then disappeared. Fuck moping about him. You’re getting yours, you decide. 

You shoot Joel a wink. Pouring gasoline on the fire, hoping it pisses him off. 

You lean into the salaciously tempting energy radiating off of Dave. Reaching to hold his jaw as your lips lock and you let him control your mouth. Kissing him riles you up more. You palm at his erection over his jeans, delighting in the noises that roil deep in his chest. You hold back whimpers as the pressure of his fingers curling inside of you finds the perfect spot. 

He pulls back from your kiss and looks down to watch your hand groping at him. You like watching him watch you. 

“You gonna take it out?” Oh. Fuck, you want to. It feels like more of a risk than you’ve taken so far. 

“Here?” you ask him softly.  

A wrinkle appears between your brows. Dave watches your swollen lips again just as your pink tongue darts out to wet them. He raises a brow at you, eyes dropping to where his arm disappears under your dress. 

“Oh, are you feeling bashful now?” he goads. His fingers curl against that sensitive spot inside of you as his palm presses firmly into your swollen clit. He makes it hard for you to answer. You try to pout at him, but the reflexive rise in your brows at the pleasure betrays you.  He chuckles again. “No? Just distracted, hm?” 

“Fuck,” is all you can mouth. It is distracting. Not the fingers inside you, well, not completely, but the urge. The craving to leverage your lewd new lover’s lack of regard for appropriate behavior into emotional revenge. The thought of Joel growing mad with jealousy as he watches you come overtakes your critical thinking. 

Eat your heart out, Joel Miller! You dare him across the room, letting your jaw fall slack and your brows knit in obvious pleasure. 

“Are you going to come for me?” Dave asks, “Here in this booth? Where anyone could see?” he tuts like he’s disappointed, and it works. The danger of it all does something to heighten your senses. It’s blinding. The bass from the music blaring from the dance floor rattling in your ribs, Dave’s designer cologne filling your nose, the sheen of sweat collecting on your chest, and the daggers in Joel’s eyes when you glance to confirm he’s still watching. All the sensations clash and shove you towards your release. 

“Yes,” you hiss quietly, “yes.” Your eyes slam shut as you try to remain composed while riding his fingers under the table. You flicker in and out of reality as your climax rolls through you. You’re drunk on the reversal of power when your eyes peel open, and you see the hardened expression on Joel’s face glowering at you. You wonder if his dick is just as hard in his pants, and the thought has you contracting again around Dave’s fingers.

“That’s a good girl.” Dave’s voice is somehow even deeper. It sends another ripple of pleasure to swirl low in your abdomen. You’d like to hear that again. 

With a touch more clarity after the violent edge of your arousal is dulled, your hand works at his belt, desperate to feel the heat of his cock in your palm. He assists, lifting his hips when you unbuckle his belt and pop the button on his pants so you can slide your hand beneath his underwear. His tension and urgency further stoke your power trip, and you feel overcome with the need to know how badly he wants you. When you wrap your fingers around him, hear the groan he makes, and feel the mindless buck of his hips, you have a more than good enough answer. He’s yours. 

Dave watches the way your eyes glaze over when your thumb smears the precome dripping from his head down his length. His hand stills distractedly between your legs, and his chin drops as he watches where your hand disappears under his dark boxer briefs. You’re constricted by the elastic waistband, but your grip is tight. Almost as tight as when he fucks his own fist. He’s mesmerized by the way you jerk his cock just right. 

You feel yourself salivating with the need to taste him. You’re getting frustrated with the limited space and want to see him in your hand. You sigh, wishing you could, until you realize you can, and grin. 

You pull your hand back out of his pants, and he snaps out of his stupor. Before he can comment, you cut him off. 

“Keep your pants on and take me to the bathroom so I can suck your cock right.” 

Your voice comes out lower than you thought it would. His eyes flare before he matches your devious look and obeys, spewing filthy thoughts you can’t make out under his breath as he does. He’s ushering you down the hall in seconds, and then you’re locking the door and dropping to your knees. Dave doesn’t wait a second longer, wrenching his belt open and dropping his jeans just enough for his cock to spring free. 

You don’t tease or start slow. He admires how you waste no time like you’re desperate to taste him. And you are. Only pausing for a moment to admire the way he looks, stiff and leaking for you, before you eagerly wrap your lips around him. You slide your tongue everywhere and bob up and down with vigor. Salty and vaguely sweet, precome teases your palette. You want more. The best you can do to express that is swallow around him and suck until he’s moaning and cursing above you. 

You let your saliva pool and spill from your lips so you can slide your hand down the rest of his length while you revel at the weight of him on your tongue. You find the moves that have his fists clenching and thighs straining and repeat them. You hum around him as pride blooms in your chest over how his composure cracks. 

You wonder if Joel has smashed through the bar with his fists yet. At least he didn’t break down the bathroom door before you could get on your knees. Would he strangle Dave first if he saw the two of you? Or would he drag you home and gag you on his angry cock instead? You moan obscenely as your imagination runs wild. You look up at Dave. He watches you with fierce eyes. You wouldn’t mind if they shared you, you consider, but that would take a miracle. 

You continue messily and enthusiastically until your knees ache, and you decide he has to come for you. You try to beg for it while he’s still in your mouth before you have the brains to pull off of him and tell him what you want. He’s endeared by your unrefined hedonism.

He grips your jaw in his palm when you get the words out. 

“You want to swallow my come?” he asks. 

“Yes,” you plead impatiently on your knees with a hoarse voice. You’re a pornographic sight on the tile floor with your wet lashes, swollen lips, and saliva glistening on your chin. You open your mouth for him and hold out your tongue. 

“Oh,” he strokes his thumb along your cheek, smiling down at you, “that’s a good girl.” 

Your eyes close at that, feeling the praise warm your skin before he slides back into your wet mouth. 

Guiding you faster and a little rougher, Dave doesn’t take long to come. Spilling onto your tongue as you groan around him until he stops pulsing in your mouth. You swallow, glowing for him with glassy eyes. He helps you to stand before tucking his softening cock back into his jeans and fastening his belt. You’re adjusting your dress and reaching for your bag on the counter. 

“What do you need?” He asks a little softer than you expected, causing you to pause. 

“Take me home,” you smile at him dopily before pausing and wincing at yourself in the mirror. You look like a freshly face-fucked mess. 

“Uh, actually, give me a few minutes to freshen up first, and I’ll meet you out front?” 

He nods, “I’ll pull the car up.”

“I’d like that.” You reply and lock the door behind him after he slips out. 

Once you feel more presentable, you pull your phone from your bag and tap the screen to check the time before opening the door. 

Seeing Joel’s name makes your stomach flip. You open the text. 

Joel: Miss me? 

It snaps something in you. Something that enrages you. He has to be certifiably insane, you think. It came through a little while ago, but you aren’t sure how long you’ve been in the bathroom. You begin to spiral, debating if you should march to the bar and throw a drink in his face or pretend like he doesn’t even exist. You feel your face burning hot, and the bathroom is suddenly suffocating. You need some air before you get into the car with Dave. Just long enough to breathe normally and look less like you want to break something. 

Leaving the bathroom you find an employee exit further down the hall. A faded sign on the door warns that an alarm will sound, but the rock wedged in the door jam holding it open a crack begs to differ, and you slip into the dark. 

A lanky, pale kid in a black apron sits atop a picnic table in the alley. 

“Oh, sorry,” you feel a little guilty interrupting his break, “just wanted some air.” 

“All good,” he responds before sliding off the makeshift seating. “Last call for the kitchen anyway. Have my seat,” he waves at the table like he’s offering a throne. You accept. Exceedingly grateful to have the air and the privacy to regulate. Just some slow, deep breaths. Then, you can walk out the front door and let Dave take you home. 

The door swings open again, and you tense, ready to hop off the table and find another space. 

“Sorry,” you start your apology, but it’s cut off. 

“You should be,” Joel accuses harshly. He’s in your space with two of his long strides. Rushing at you like you’re caught in a snare trap, and he’s starving. You briefly look the part with your eyes wide in the moonlight, shocked by his sudden appearance, until your barely dampened rage rips from your throat.

“Joel, what the fuck?” you spit out in disbelief, but he interrupts you– 

“I thought I already told you what happens if you’re gonna be a filthy tease?” his voice lowers as he ignores your question and paces in front of you with a dark, wicked stare. 

“What are you doing here?” you press, ignoring his threat. 

“What are you doing here?” he demands. Like he has some certificate of entitlement to your whereabouts. He towers over you. Your eyes narrow to slits. If you could shoot lasers out of them, you’d do it now. 

You laugh. Loudly. You’re still laughing when he grabs you and pivots your frame so your legs dangle off of the end of the table towards him. Closer. He gets even closer, standing between your knees. You tilt your face to look up at him. 

“You on a date?” it’s a growl carved from stone. You choose to remain ignorant to the shiver it sends through you that has nothing to do with the temperature. How dare he charge up on you like a territorial werewolf in the night? And how dare he look so fucking good with that snarly expression? No. You laugh again. Wild-eyed. Words start coming up before you even hear yourself.

“What is wrong with you, Joel? Why were you watching me? You looking for a show?” you jab. Gnashing at him with your words. He snorts dismissively at you, and a barbaric smile creeps onto his face. Like he’s in on some joke you don’t know about. He irks you so bad your skin crawls. 

“S’that what you call it?” he asks, “A show?” Continuing to ignore your other questions. He is so close to you that it burns your skin. 

“No, Joel. You were right the first time. I am on a date. A real date. You know what that is, right? Like, he asked me out, picked me up on time, bought me a drink,” you’re tallying on your fingers, “answered my–”

“And then what, you fuck him in the bathroom and hide out here? Alone in the alley?” 

It clicks. He knows exactly why you’re flustered. The asshole must’ve sent his text for his own slimy experiment. Trying to rattle you. What fucking game is he playing? Is he trying to win you? Like you’re Dave’s possession to lose? 

You scoff at his interjection, “No, Joel, I’m not alone. You followed me out here to make sure of it, right?” 

“Right,” he rumbles. His dark eyes glint even in the shadows of the alley. He leans lower and closer to you until you tip back, palms on the table behind you, then elbows. Exposing your cleavage to the moonlight. He pauses, eyes raking down your face, neck, and chest. How does he make you feel raw and vulnerable even when fully dressed? 

“You haven’t answered me,” you huff. Irritated and arched beneath him. 

“I asked you first,” he argues. A childish rebuttal for a grown man. You’re pretty sure you’ve asked why he’s here a hundred times, but of course, that doesn’t matter. He’s insufferable with his attitude and inability to communicate. Everything about you is taut, and you feel frayed. 

Joel dips his head and his lips brush your ear, tickling you, before he rasps, “I asked if you miss me, baby, and you haven’t answered.” 

A tremor runs through your body. 

It’s criminal. Your mind converts his voice directly into a hot coil of arousal. The throbbing between your legs causes you to wriggle beneath him.

“I need to know,” he croons, begging you to give in. 

His arm slides under your back, lowering you onto the table. Your restraint collapses terribly quickly for him. His voice. His touch. He knows all of your buttons. 

Laid on your back, your legs instinctively wrap around him as he bends to meet you. 

Soft puffs of air shakily flow between your lips as you struggle to concentrate. On what? You aren’t sure. Not good. You squeeze your eyes shut like maybe he’ll disappear. 

“I mean it, baby,” he continues purring with a sharp edge, “you tell me when you miss me.” 

You know it wouldn’t matter even if you did. If you texted him. If you called. It wouldn’t matter. It would probably make you feel worse. But when he says it, you feel your heart doing flips anyway. 

He slides his hands over your body, and you feel the last of your logic escaping as you tug him towards you. You’re grinding against him stupidly without a single thought. Just having him this close to you had you feeling desperate and needy. You could come again right now just by dry-humping like horny teenagers. 

The craving for him is so intense that you’ll surely die if he doesn’t keep moving. You lose any shred of composure that you were still clinging to and let out a needy whine for him. And when your fingers twist and tug at his shirt, it’s like a green light to Joel. 

He closes any and all gaps between you. His hand skates roughly under your dress, bunching up the fabric. He presses open-mouthed kisses against your neck and grazes his teeth enticingly along your jaw. 

Groping, grinding, grunting. All his movements dance a line between deliberate and frantic. 

You have tunnel vision, lost from time and space. When his low moan vibrates through you, your hand shoots to his belt. He rasps into your ear again, “That’s it, baby, I’m right here if you miss me, don’t need some jerkoff tryin’ to waste your time.” Your fingers fumble. What– “Oh, shit!” a voice yells. You freeze. “Don’t mind me!” The drunk guy slurs as he stumbles out the backdoor and sways down the alley towards the street. 

Your situation hits you like a bucket of cold water. Joel seems unfazed, still curled over you. You push at him and sit up. 

“What did you just say, Joel?” 

“Hmm?” he murmurs at you. 

“Joel, I’m serious. What the fuck?” 

He’s not listening. His hands are still searching your body. The scent of his faded deodorant is so familiar in your nose. The words are coming up again. Before he casts his trance on you. 

“No. I said I’m serious,” you repeat, “I’m not playing your games. Done with your weird shit.” Your body feels rigid, and your mind is clearing through the fog of lust. “Just because I have no self-esteem and I fuck you anytime you show up on my doorstep doesn’t mean you have any claim to me.” 

He blinks at you, finally registering your tone, expression shifting. “I actually tried, you know? I wanted to get to know you. You just bail. I keep suffering for it. Like an idiot. I keep thinking it would show I care.” 

“Baby–” 

“And now what? You see me on a date and decide it would be fun to ruin it? Ruin a chance at something better than waiting around wondering if you’ll show up looking to score?” You’re on your feet now. Livid. Ablaze in the dark. “No, you don’t even care enough to think about that,” you realize aloud. 

His features harden. Your head shakes slowly, exasperated with your burgeoning understanding. All you can hear is the white noise buzzing in your skull. Your next words are quieter and lower, forcing him to pay close attention. 

“You just wanted to prove something, right? Thought you’d fuck me on this table and run like you always do? For what, to prove you could?” 

His nostrils flare, and you don’t miss how he grits his teeth.

You don’t falter; he doesn’t scare you. You press on with your accusations prickly on your tongue. You back him against the wall next to the door as you continue. 

“You don’t like hearing it?” you cock your head at him, amused with his discomfort. “Were you going to leave me here in the alley full of your come like I’m some pathetic whore for you? Would you walk me back to my date after that? Was that your plan?” 

Joel snaps, manhandling you in a split second. Pinned against the brick wall, you can hear your heart pounding. It’s a paper-thin line between anger and lust, and you can’t tell which has your blood pumping. You can’t tell if he’s about to yell at you or fuck you. You hate that you can’t tell which you’d prefer.

His eyes are locked onto yours. Not revealing anything. You shift, uncomfortable with the scrutiny. He doesn’t keep you waiting. Joel shoves his hand into your panties, fingers slipping immediately into the fresh pool of arousal between your thighs. A shaky exhale comes out of you, but he doesn’t seem to need to blink or breathe anymore. 

He brings his glossy fingers to your mouth. Silent. He taps at your lip until you open and suck, tasting yourself. His mask slips a little. One brow twitches as he studies the scene of your lips wrapped around both of his fingers. But his eyes flick to yours when he pulls them out of your mouth and drags them down your bottom lip, smearing spit against your chin. 

“Tell me,” he says in a whisper that scrapes across your skin, “does it taste like you miss me?” 

You swallow tightly. A lump forms in your throat now, about as large as a civilization-ending asteroid. 

You can hear your phone buzzing. Forgotten on the table. Panic streaks over your eyes as you wonder how long you’ve been out here. You duck under his arm, dashing for your phone. You don’t look at him. You can’t. As you sprint down the hallway, you swing the door open, kicking the rock in the door jam, hopefully locking Joel outside. Cursing at yourself for almost letting Joel fuck you in the alley across from a dumpster.  

Dave sits in his car, idling along the curb near the front of the club. You’re surprised he didn’t leave. You hope it hasn’t been long. You don’t dare check your phone. Maybe it was only a few minutes, or it could have been an hour. You don’t think time functions normally when you’re around Joel. 

Dave is frighteningly observant, slinking out of his car to open the door for you before you get close enough to reach for the handle. 

“I was just starting to wonder if you’d snuck out the back door,” he chides. 

You feel the blood rushing to the surface of your skin. Hot with embarrassment over your behavior and his on-the-nose word choice. 

“I’m sorry,” you mumble, “I did step out for some air. Wanted to cool down.” 

“Don’t be sorry,” he assures you, tilting your chin towards his face with his thumb and forefinger. Your eyes dart around his face, wondering what he sees on yours. “Was it too much, dirty girl?” he coos. 

“What, this?” you lilt mockingly as you palm over his bulge, “I don’t think so.” 

“Good,” he snorts softly. “Get in the car.” He adds as he opens the door for you. 

He pauses before pulling away from the curb once seated in the driver’s side. 

“Is your boyfriend going to be following us home?” 

“My what?” you feel the blood drain from your face. 

“The one from the bar,” he continues, measured and eerily calm, “the one who followed us here?” Your head starts spinning at that, but Dave carries on, unbothered. “I assumed he likes to watch. You should’ve told me. It would’ve been easier than wondering if he’s a deranged stalker or–” 

“No.” You cut him off and struggle to continue for multiple reasons. “It’s not like that. I thought it was a coincidence,” you feel a confusing mix of emotions. 

“Followed us?” you’re curious. 

“When I picked you up. In the truck?”

“Oh god. No. He’s,” you pause, searching for the right words. 

“An ex?” 

“Not even that. Jesus Christ, I can’t believe he’d follow me.” 

“So he is dangerous?” 

“No.” Only to my self-respect. 

“You want me to take care of him?” 

“No.” You reply before putting any thought behind what that means. “No. He’s just an asshole with a staring problem.” 

You withdraw. You hadn’t thought about why Joel was here. How ridiculous it sounds to imagine Joel voluntarily sitting at the bar in a club like this alone. You feel the blood rushing to your ears. Stupid little butterflies flap their wings in your stomach before they’re reduced to ashes, and you begin to see red again tonight. How is Joel ruining your night without saying a word this time? 

“Take me home,” you say firmly.

He does. Dave walks you to your door. You invite him in, but he’s observant, noticing the clouds in your expression. He declines your invite but assures you he would be very interested in seeing you again. He gives you a chaste kiss that makes you laugh, considering how bold you both have been tonight. It lightens your mood. 

He lingers for a moment before he pulls out his wallet. 

“It was on the house this time,” you snark. Curious about what he’s doing. 

He hands you a sleek business card. A business card? Is this guy Patrick Bateman? 

Your face wrinkles in confusion. 

“I already have your number,” you flip the card over in case you’re missing something. It doesn’t say anything, just has a phone number. 

“I meant what I said, that I’d be interested in seeing you again for pleasure,” he smirks, “but if you change your mind, at least keep this.” 

You don’t understand why you’d need his work phone number but try to play it cool and nod. 

“If your stalker becomes a problem, you call me.” 

You’re still confused about what that means when he drives away. As you shut your door, you realize you have no idea what he does. 

You’re still in the middle of composing a text to Katie about how her green flag date included a bathroom blowjob and a business card when you hear a knock at your door. You swing it open, assuming foolishly that it would be Dave. 

Before you can blink, Joel kicks the door shut and backs you down the hallway. He looks like a man possessed as he hurtles towards you. It sends a chill down your spine that you think would trigger your fight or flight response, but yours seems to be reprogrammed to fight or fuck. Staggering backward, you yelp when the backs of your knees hit your mattress. 

“Can I fucking help you?” you snap at him as you realign with reality. “Jesus Christ, Joel, were you waiting outside the window or something?” 

You glare into his eyes, but a toxic part of you only wants to focus on his lips. And how close they are to yours. You also can’t deny the even more debauched part of you that flutters at the possessive look in Joel’s eyes. 

He laughs darkly, “Nah baby, I knew you’d send him on his way.” 

You roll your eyes at that. Cocky bastard. 

And he is. He emits a frenzied energy as he takes you in. Looking you up and down like a prize. Like he’s considering where to write his name on your skin. 

You roll your shoulders. Trying to shake off the idea that you’d like to be possessed by him, but it thrums persistently inside of you. 

“You didn’t know shit, Miller,” you accuse sardonically. 

Joel reaches for you. You think he’s going to tell you off. But his hands glide over the tops of your shoulders and up the column of your neck until he’s cupping your jaw in both hands. It feels jarring and vulnerable to be held by him this way. To feel like he just wants to look at you and to know you can’t look away. You wonder what’s going on behind his dark eyes. What he sees when he looks at you What he thinks. 

The longer he looks at you, the more the tension builds (of course, because it’s Joel). You start to itch, fingers twitching with the need to grab him and pull his full weight on top of you. Despite your building desire, he’s still quietly reading your face. Joel Miller, the enigma, you muse. 

Before you can flip him any shit, his mouth is on yours, and his hands drop to your hips to hold you firmly against his body. You want him to keep holding you there, but closer. You need him even closer. 

He groans into your mouth, and you kiss him back hungrily. Your bodies slot together in a twisted fate. You couldn’t care less about the date you just had at this moment. You can hear Joel’s words from previous encounters that have burrowed into your consciousness, and you’re starving for more.  

A selfish and greedy satisfaction warms in your chest at him being in your bedroom. He pulls your lower lip between his teeth before breaking away to tease bites along your neck and shoulder. You shiver. Your fingers dig into his shirt, pulling him closer and closer until your knees buckle, and fall into the bed with him on top of you. He doesn’t stop trying to taste you everywhere, trying to feel every part of you. You breathe out single-syllable praise as your thoughts become hazy.  

You still feel needy. You writhe and strain as you attempt to work his shirt up his broad frame. You’re insistent on feeling the blistering heat of his skin against yours. He leans back up, out of your grip, causing you to sigh in exasperation. Of course, it couldn’t be this easy. What does he have to say now?

“You want me to leave?” 

“What? Why?” you growl out. He is not about to body slam you into a bed and then walk away. 

“Thought you were done with my ‘weird shit’ or whatever you called it,” he taunts. 

“I am,” you huff.

“Tell me to stop.” You can’t. 

“Take your clothes off,” you answer instead. 

He does. Then, he’s pulling your clothes off and climbing over you. You aren’t sure you’ve ever both been fully naked like this. Definitely not while in a bed, at least. It’s more intimate than your relationship calls for. It makes time feel syrupy, but your other senses feel sharply tuned. Joel’s breath fans hot over your ear as he tucks his face into the corner of your neck and shoulder. 

“So,” he sucks at your delicate skin before continuing in his smoky tone, “your date couldn’t satisfy you?” 

“Shut up,” you snarl at him, uninterested in playing games. You’re too lost in the intensity of his physical presence. You need him inside of you, and you tug at his body, trying to pull him closer. It’s useless. His strong arms are braced like two stone pillars on either side of you. 

He’s such a pest. His mouth quirks, and he looks all too pleased with himself. You roll your eyes again. You know what he’s getting at. What he wants to hear you say. But, you’re reluctant to stroke his ego. He’s going to be unbearable if. The thorn of it that hurts the most, though, is that it’s not a lie. It’s an admission. A confirmation. 

He makes you feel so good in ways nobody else ever could, but the pain of knowing he’ll never be yours eats at you. It feels like exposing your beating heart in your chest to confess you want him so badly. You ache to hear him tell you he only wants you again. Even if it’s not real, you lie to yourself, you just need to hear it.  

While you wrestle with finding the words, he begins to torment you. The heat and arousal weigh heavily between your naked bodies. He lowers closer and closer to where you need him most but refuses to alleviate your painful want. Wickedly, he exploits your neediness. Teasing at your skin with his tongue, teeth, and breath. 

“Tell me, baby. Just let me hear it,” he says. But you can’t. 

When he blows air over your strained nipples, and you arch under him seeking contact, he darts down to kiss at your stomach and inner thighs instead. When he gets closer and closer to the apex of your thighs, grazing his nose over your mound, you could snap. 

You reach to dig your fingers into his hair and direct his mouth to your throbbing clit, but he’s stronger than you. Devilish man. He crawls back up to hover over your face. You know he’s enjoying it. Wondering how quickly you’ll break. It makes you want to kick and scream.

“Tell me it’s not true then,” it’s a challenge directed at you, but it feels like he’s also challenging himself. 

He drags the head of his cock over the slick lips of your cunt without precision or direction. You are so convinced he’s torturing you, but he looks like he’s in pain from restraining himself as well. It makes you crazy. You try to reach down to line him up with your entrance yourself, but he’s faster. He grabs your hand and pins it above your head. 

“Fine,” you grit out. Frustrated. You aim to smother your fear with sarcasm and puff your chest, hoping it works. 

“You’re right, Joel. It’s true.” He doesn’t move, waiting to hear more. 

“I missed your filthy mouth and your big fat cock.” You mock with an exaggerated whine. You keep going before you lose courage. “And my date couldn’t satisfy me.” You pause, steeling yourself. The corner of his mouth twitches.

“Because even when I had his cock down my throat,” you force yourself to look in his eyes, “all I could think about was you.” 

You tried to keep the snarky, biting tone in that last part, but your voice betrayed you when you met his eyes. It came out sounding as vulnerable as it felt to say. His expression flickers. You feel too honest. You should take it back. You want to curl up. He grins above you. 

“I know, baby,” he coos. You hold your breath. Of course he’s going to be a condescending ass about it, you start to bemoan internally–but when he finally sinks into you, it shuts off your inner monologue and slows down time. “All I can fuckin’ think about,” he says as he fills you as deeply as possible, letting a satisfied sigh fall from his lips. 

All I can fuckin’ think about. 

The words rattle around in your mind. Joel begins to rock into you, deliberately grinding his pelvis against you. All he can think about is you, too? Or fucking you? Or how he’s ruined you for other men? 

All I can fuckin’ think about. 

It echoes in your head as he picks up his pace, splitting you open with heavy, mind-altering thrusts. Suffocatingly intimate. Face to face. Skin to skin. Soul to soul. His voice isn’t just echoing in your mind; he’s also running his mouth about something. Muttering about how he knew you’d be waiting for him, how he’s going to fuck you until you forget your date's name, how nobody else can satisfy your needy cunt. 

Oh. 

He’s not wrong. You want to hear more. 

“Yes,” You can stoke this fire. You don’t mind finding out what happens if you rile him up while he’s inside you. “Only you,” you pant, “nobody else fucks me like you do.” 

He makes a throaty noise in agreement and shifts. Large hands wrap around the back of your knees and press them towards your chest, tilting your hips up. You choke and sputter as he slams into you with force. The new angle creates a blissful intensity. 

“That’s right,” he says, “nobody else.” 

He pounds into you like he could fuck you through the mattress, maybe even through the floor. The lewd sound of his thighs slapping against your ass fill the room. You tuck your chin to your chest to watch the way each thrust makes your breasts bounce. You notice that he’s mesmerized by the same sight, and you take the opportunity to shift your gaze, studying the look on his face. 

It’s more sensual than anything you’ve done together before. You can see the sweat beading on his chest from exertion. You’re nearly folded in half and unable to stop your soft cries and moans. It’s raw, sticky, and vulnerable. You feel warmed at the thought but also fragile. Breakable. Hypersensitive emotionally and physically. It’s all too bright and hot. 

You let his voice push you over the edge, and your climax rips fiercely through your body. You faintly hear him groan as your tight walls contract around him, but his voice is drowned out by the pleasure. Your legs tremble, still balanced over his shoulders. 

Your core muscles spasm as he keeps sawing into you until your hips are jerking at the sensitivity of your come down. He slows, breathing heavily over you. You can see the animalistic edge in his eyes. You have to push it. Play it out. 

“Make me yours,” you incite. 

You definitely just meant to imply, ‘fuck me hard and come inside me, please,’ but you worry he’s interpreted it differently when he drops your legs. Wrong. He turns you over, laying you flat on your stomach, pulling your arms behind your back, and pinning you to the bed.  He straddles your closed legs. Your shoulders strain a little as he leans into you. His heavy body compresses your prone form, and his cock weighs heavy against the curve of your ass; it feels right. A perverted comfort blanket, stealing your breath. 

“Repeat it,” he tells the back of your neck. 

“Make me yours.” You turn your head to the side. You can’t see his face, but you can hear the string of curses he chants when he lines up and wedges himself into you. The added constriction of your position unravels you both. 

“Mine,” he grunts. You muffle your own noises into the sheets, along for the ride. He doesn’t last much longer before you feel him still overtop of you. You close your eyes, focusing on the sensation of the pulsing and throbbing of his cock inside you as he fills you up. Breathing deep, your back rises against his chest before he slides off of you.

You roll onto your side. Facing each other, you still at the sight of him. Another breath shared between you, chests expanding towards each other. For the briefest moment, you think he might stay. You can see the soft edge of relaxation in his features. Your hand drifts toward him, an instinct based on nothing rational, just wanting to feel him. You feel the stupid, dreamy expression settling on your face. Before you can speak or figure out what you were reaching for, he’s snapped out of the bubble of tranquility. His walls are up. 

He’s dressed and leaving, walking towards the door as you can only sigh into your dirty sheets. 

He doesn’t even leave with a snide last word. Just the door closing. 

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[itsnevercasual]

Look Into His Angel Eyes

pairing: harry styles x zoologist!youtuber!reader

summary: harry takes his niece to the san diego zoo, and you just so happen to take care of the animal she’s obsessed with. koalas.

warnings: zero knowledge of zoology LMAO, not edited, a few curse words

—

harry had expected a lot more fuss when he went to a very famous, very popular zoo. he expected at least someone — one person! — to notice him or recognize him.

nobody had even given him a second glass.

those kids movies were right. change your har (put on a beanie) and wear sunglasses (because even if it was a little chilly, it was bright), and you were a whole different person!

well, until gemma’s little girl, rosie, who was usually a gem and the best kid ever, started crying. over what, you may ask?

she demanded they find the koalas.

granted, she was only five, but.. he was still worried people would see him and recognize him.

when he had graciously offered to drive rosie to san diego to go to the zoo because gemma simply didn’t have the time, he forgot it was a public, normal people zoo.

so, he asked someone where the koalas were (and then four more people after that on the way there, all of which informed him that he better hurry if he wanted to catch the koala talk, which was supposedly a big hit for some reason), and made his way to the other side of the zoo.

who the hell made this place so big?

—

you’d been living in san diego for five years, since you were eighteen. you’d been working with the koalas at the san diego zoo for that same amount of time.

18 and fresh out of high school, you moved far, far away from your horrible hometown and even more horrible people, and went to san diego to both go to college for zoology and work your dream job.

well, technically, it was an internship at first, but still!

like most little girls, you were obsessed with animals. however, instead of dogs or some other basic animal (though, koalas are still pretty basic, you suppose), you were obsessed with koalas. and then, it never went away.

your mother tried anything to talk you out of it, into a safer career path, she’d say. more secure.

well, fuck secure because you were about to go talk to little kids who were just like you when you were younger and feed a baby koala.

you had also started a successful side career as a youtuber. you made regular videos like vlogs and hauls and whatnot, and also educational videos about koalas. some of your vlogs were at work, such as today.

“so.. we have jess here to record as i do a koala talk. and.. it is officially 1:30, so let’s go!” you exclaim, handing your coworker, jess, the camera.

you pushed open the door (more like gate) and walked out. there was a fairly large crowd today, including the cutest little girl with a pink dress on right in the front row.

you set the crate (don’t yell, it’s a big crate. and it’s simply to take them from their exhibit to the talk area, which is a distance of maybe 50 feet) down on the wooden table.

the talk area was pretty much their enclosure, but instead of a glass wall, it was open and the kids could see better.

you opened the crate and slowly coaxed the bears out. you’d only brought two today. mila, and her baby charlotte (you always called her charlie, though).

once they were out and climbing on the branches, you turned to the crowd.

“hi, guys! my name is y/n, and i’m basically in charge of the koalas here! who here has been to one of my talks before?”

a few hands raise.

“good! well, today, we have a new guest… who remembers what was happening with mila last talk? was anyone there?”

one little boy raised his hand.

“yes, the.. little boy in a blue shirt?”

“jackson!” he told you.

“jackson, sorry. what was going on with mila? for everyone who doesn’t know, mila is that big one right there.”

“she was— she had a baby in her tummy.”

“she did!” you respond enthusiastically. “and a few months ago.. four months ago, actually, she had her baby! who wants to meet her?”

all the little kids screamed me! me! me!

you laughed, “alright, let me grab her.”

you walked over to mila, petting her head as you slowly took charlie away.

“hey, mila.. can i take her real quick?” you ask as if she can hear you, before speaking to the crowd. “mila and i have a special bond, if you ask me. she had her baby right around the time i had mine. so we are both new mothers,” you laugh. “but, anyway! i’ve been with mila since she got here, so she really trusts me. which is why i can easily just..”

you grabbed charlie off of mila, and put her on her shoulder like you did your baby.

“so, everyone, this is charlotte, but i call her charlie! now, i have a very special job for one of you.. but i need someone who will be very careful, because charlie is still a delicate baby.. can anyone hold her for me while i feed her?”

and finally, the adorable little girl interacted. she started jumping and raised her hand.

you walked over to the fence separating you from the crowd, crouching to be eye level with her. “and who might you be?”

“rosie!” she responded. and oh, she had a baby voice and she was british.

“rosie! well, do you think you can hold her for me?”

“yes! yes, please!”

“alright, we’ll get you and dad back here—“

“ehm.. uncle..” her uncle, not father, responded in a british accent.

“oh, sorry! you and your uncle back here. and what’s your name, rosie’s uncle?”

he hesitated, before— “harry.”

your brain slowly put two and two together as you glanced at his tattoos.

harry styles.

“oh, i see,” you respond, “well, let’s get you guys back here!”

you opened the gate they were thankfully standing right in front of, and they walked into the talking area before you shut the gate.

you led rosie to the center, crouching down to her again.

“alright, we’re gonna do this in a funny way. can you stick out your arm for me?”

she did.

“i’m gonna put charlie on your arm, alright? she’s gonna wrap herself around it, and her claws might scratch you, but it’s fine, yeah?”

“yes, ma’am!”

“aw, you’re so polite. alright.. charlie incoming!”

you slowly adjusted charlie to curl around rosie’s arm.

“it tickles!” she squeals with a laugh.

“yeah?” both you and harry — harry styles — respond at the same time.

“alright, i’m gonna grab her bottle! stay here!”

you ran over to grab it, and while you were shaking it so it was ready, you felt something wrap around your leg.

“hi, mila!” you exclaim to the koala wrapped around you.

you carefully walk back over.

“i’m gonna feed her for a minute, and then i’ll let you and your uncle try, yeah?”

“okay!”

you started feeding charlie as you spoke again.

“so, the reason we feed charlie instead of having her feed from her momma, who is clinging to my leg, is because charlie was born a little early and needs a little more nutrients!”

you talked a little more about koalas and their behavior before rosie wanted to feed her. and after a few minutes of that, you glanced to harry.

“you wanna give it a go?”

“sure, why not,” he shrugs.

“charlie seems pretty cozy.. so, i’ll give you mila. she’s a little heavy, though.”

you bent over and took mila off your leg, handing her over to harry.

“hold her like a baby on your hip.. it’s kinda like a.. odd hug! a koala hug, if you will. i’ll grab her bottle.”

you ran over, and when harry began feeding her after you returned, he asked a question.

“so.. why do y’feed mila? i know charlie’s a baby and all, but..”

“that’s a very good question! so, mila is getting a little old, and she was also brought to us injured. that, paired with giving birth four months ago, we just have to give her some more electrolytes… her bottle is actually just white gatorade. we tried green, but she hates it. she’s very picky.”

“well, that’s cause y’gave her green.”

“hey! who has the degree here? yeah, shush.”

“yes, ma’am,” he laughed.

—

once the talk was over, you told rosie and harry to stay back.

you let charlie and mila climb about the branches while you spoke to them.

“i just want to make sure you both are alright with being in a video.. also, you need to wash your hands.. jess should be back with the sanitizer soon.”

“can i ask what video?”

“oh! right, sorry. i’m a youtuber, and i sometimes film my talks to publish and whatnot. i’ll blur your faces, of course. i blur everyone in the crowd’s faces for privacy reasons, but i figured you’d be.. more.. concerned about that than most.”

“you know?”

“i mean.. voice is a giveaway.. i also follow gemma’s instagram, so i recognized rosie,” you shrug. “but anyways, you’re good with the video?”

“yeah, of course.”

you then turned to rosie to answer her bajillion questions about koalas until jess came back with the hand sanitizer.

“so, just use a lot of this, and you’ll be good,” you explain, putting a few pumps into each of their hands.

once they were all clean of koala germs, you told them they were free to go.

rosie ran forward, but harry lingered.

“thank you,”

“oh, yeah. of course. i figured you wouldn’t want koala germs—“

“no, i mean thanks for giving rosie that opportunity.”

“oh! of course. i love seeing little kids who love them as much as me.”

“she’s bloody obsessed with the things.”

“mm, yeah. they’re easy to love. word of advice, don’t shoot her love for them down. it doesn’t exactly work. i mean.. look at me,” you laugh.

“i will keep that in mind,” he smilez. “what was your name again?”

“y/n.. y/n l/n.”

—

a/n: enjoy

[greenerteacups]

Fic Masterpost

Oh, boy. Okay. Here we go.

I have written literally hundreds of thousands of words of fic, and this is where you can find it! Consider this a kind of annotated bibliography.

Harry Potter

Lionheart

Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy/Hermione Granger | 300,000 words and counting

How Draco Malfoy met a girl on a train, ruined his life, started a war, and ended one.

Notes: Oh, honey. This is my baby. The longest fic I've ever written, the currently running one, and the one I'm most fond of. A Gryffindor!Draco AU that retraces all 7 books. Slowburn Dramione (SLOW, slow burn, a simmer, currently more like a suntanning) with Golden Quartet vibes. I pre-write all the books and then release them in weekly updates, kinda like a serial publication, so you always know when your next hit is coming!

Volume I, "Green and Golden," composed of Years 1-3, finished early in 2023. It's currently releasing Volume II, "Son and Heir," which just finished the first act of Year 4.

/

The Climb

Harry Potter, Severus Snape & Harry Potter | 22,000 words

"...in the event that I, Lily Evans Potter, and my husband, James Potter, become deceased," read Albus, "I do hereby name Severus Snape as sole legal custodian of my son, Harry James Potter, until such a time as he comes of age." He folded his glasses on the table. "Fuck," said Severus, with feeling.

Notes: An unexpected brainworm that I had while compiling a Severus playlist for Lionheart, which rapidly spiraled out of control. It's a "Severus raises Harry" fic, which I never had a taste for until I started writing this — I realized there was so much more juice in the narrative idea than I'd realized. I like how I use voice and style here; I think I made a real leap in technique between SWHTWW and this one.

//

Other

the scenes which hold the waking world

Six of Crows, Kaz Brekker/Inej Ghafa, Matthias Helvar/Nina Zenik, Jesper Fahey/Wylan van Eck | 70,000 words

Thirty million dollars for a secret. That's the payout for Kaz Brekker, the most dangerous, ruthless, and talented extractor in the dream industry — if he can manage it. But to have a chance, he needs the best. That means finding a team willing to attempt the impossible: a knife-wielding cat burglar, a college dropout with perfect aim, a sullen ex-Navy SEAL, a drop-dead gorgeous former Soviet spy, and the estranged son of their rich employer. If they can avoid killing each other, they'll go down in history. If they can't, none of them may wake up again.

Notes: This was my first novel-length fic, and I'll always have a soft spot for it. It's an Inception AU with the vibes of Leverage meets Ocean's 11, with a side of psychological trouble and codependency. Read if you like spy movies, heist stories, or dangerous criminals whose Achilles heel is being unable to stop talking shit to each other.

/

someday we'll linger in the sun

Black Panther: Wakanda Forever, Namor of Talokan/Shuri | 40,000 words

As the legends have it, after she earned the blessings of Bast, the Princess Shuri took a god for a lover. The legends say less about what happened in between.

Notes: Another drabble that spiraled wildly out of control. (You may notice a theme.) I watched Black Panther over Christmas break and thought, "Wow, that's an incredible storyline that didn't actually happen, wish someone would write it." Technically unfinished, but I think the existing chapters serve as a complete story. Unfortunately, no plans to come back to this one; I might mark it as finished at some point, because it feels settled to me.

/

it's a western, henry

Dimension20: Fantasy High, Riz Gukgak/Fabian Aramais Seacaster | 10,000 words

Nobody fantasizes about kissing goblins in the moonlight, or taking them out on ice cream dates after class. Especially not beautiful half-elves on the bloodrush team, who could have anybody they wanted (and probably do). It's the beginning of a bad joke. A goblin and a half-elf walk into a tower... And the goblin ends up slain on the floor while the half-elf walks out with the princess.

Notes: My first fic, which started as a writing exercise. A character study in fantasy race relations and a love story between a nerd and a jock in which the jock is the anxious one. Working title for a while was "it's not easy being green," before I found the fancy Siken line. I still think there's some good humor in here, and I like rereading it from time to time.

[douchebagbrainwaves]

WHAT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE YOU KNOW

If someone offers you money, take it. When you let customers tell you what they're after, they will often reveal amazing details about what they find valuable as well what they're willing to pay for. Once you start talking to users, I guarantee you'll be surprised by what they tell you. When you can't get users, it's hard to get them to move halfway around the world; that might be convincing. This means you should be able to explain in one or two sentences exactly what it is. Creating wealth is not a zero-sum game, so you start to get used to how things are. They're all things I tell people.

It's them you have to choose cofounders and how hard you have to design your site for. And this skill is so hard to follow is that people will assume, correctly or not, what they do is related to the parentheses. But if languages are all equivalent, why should the pointy-haired boss miraculously combines two qualities that are common by themselves, but rarely seen together: a he knows nothing whatsoever about technology, and b hackers who work in certain fields: startup founders, programmers, professors. James Gosling, or the founders hate one another—the stress of getting that first version out will expose it. The principle extends even into programming. But plenty of projects are not demanding at all. I propose is whether we cause people who read what we've written to do anything differently afterward. I think what he was measuring was mostly the cost of bigness.

Working for oneself, or at least, that I'm using abstractions that aren't powerful enough—often that I'm generating by hand the expansions of some macro that I need to write a program depends mostly on its length. After many email exchanges with Java hackers, I would say that this has been, unfortunately for philosophy, the central fact of philosophy. The government could not do better than to piggyback on their expertise, and use investment by recognized startup investors as the test of whether a company was a real startup. At Viaweb now Yahoo Store, this software continues to dominate its market. The reason we don't see the opportunities all around us is that we invest in the initial round took months to pay us, and only did after repeated nagging from our lawyer, who was also, fortunately, his lawyer. There are things I know I learned from studying philosophy.1 Raising money, in particular, younger and more technical founders will be able to achieve the essayist's standard of proof, not the mathematician's or the experimentalist's.2 Software should be written in, or didn't care, I wanted to keep it that way. The contacts and advice. It's probably perfect.

Notes

Delicious users are stupid.

In effect they were buying a phenomenon, or it would take up, how do they learn that nobody wants what they do, because the illiquidity of progress puts them at the 30-foot table Kate Courteau designed for scale. So it's hard to say that IBM makes decent hardware. What I dislike is editing done after the first wave of the conversion of buildings not previously public, like arithmetic drills, instead of profits—but only if the value of understanding per se but from what the attitude of a severe-looking little box with a walrus mustache and a wing collar who had died decades ago. I believe Lisp Machine Lisp was the reason it might be digital talent.

[dewshoney]

Cherry - Nakedtoaster / MC

idk why i like breaking nakedtoaster i just do

summary: nakedtoaster left you. for reasons that you didn't even know. but now you're talking to xyx and the public displays of affection are getting to toast.

warnings: mentions of self-harm (no traditional forms of self-harm are done, but mentions of it are indeed in here. read with caution)

a/n: first, i wasn't intending on this looking like a part 2 to my recent work, but that's just how the cookie crumbled (does a really cool dance). second, this was originally going to be a songfic to Cherry by Harry Styles but it kind of went off track. I will still keep the title as it is because that's what the inspiration was.

is it technically self-harm to watch xyx be happy with you? there’s much healthier ways to cope with this. not that there’s anything to cope with, i’m the one at fault. i’m the one that drove you away. and i should be happy for xyx! so why does this hurt so much?

these thoughts are on replay, like a shitty song in a dingy nightclub, in nakedtoaster’s head. he doesn’t even know if you and xyx are together, nobody can really tell. at least him and onionthief can’t. he confided in onionthief after you and them broke up, and has been getting considerably closer to him. at any rate, you and xyx meme around about being in love so much nobody can tell if it’s a joke. like right now;

lovelylola

literally make out with me right now

xyx

on the way to the airport, darling

goddamn, did he really have to use the petname that toast used on you? rubbing salt in the wound, just a little. 

Onionthief

How did you figure out lovelylola’s address?

xyx

used an old trick in the book

stole their ip from a website i made

ok, now that’s just cruel. using toast’s trick to woo you? but toast didn’t need to be reading this. but, just like what was said before, it’s his form of self-harm. it’s toast’s way of keeping themself in check, still punishing themself for hurting you. 

Onionthief

I feel like that’s a bit far, xyx.

Even for you.

Nakedtoaster

Nice.

toast gets a ping from a different channel, named study-sesh. it’s a channel that was made for chatting between onion, quest, salo, and them. 

Onionthief

That was not “Nice”, @Nakedtoaster. At all. 

Nakedtoaster

well, what were you expecting me to do? 

you laid it on too thick with that “Even for you” shit. 

Onionthief

I stand by what I said. I’m happy to help you figure out what’s going on between lovelylola and xyx, but I’m not going to bypass my moral code.

Nakedtoaster

they’re joking around

he didn’t find their address

god, didn’t know you could be a dumbass.

— Quest is online —

Quest

Everything ok?

Oh.

/mute @Nakedtoaster

Bloombot

User has been muted for 10 minutes.

Quest

I was going to keep this a secret, but now that the server is becoming a battlefield, I’m afraid I can’t keep it for much longer.

suddenly, toast got access to a new channel. juicier-gamers. couldn’t even come up with a more clever name? whatever. nakedtoaster scrolled up a bit in the chat until something caught their eye.

lovelylola

you’re the best, xyx

xyx

anything to help you out love

was this some divine punishment from quest? did he finally snap, was he done with toast’s shit too? he read further.

xyx

was that too far

lovelylola

i don’t think so?? 

toast’s mad

xyx

yea

i didnt want it to get this far

lovelylola

i mean

we have to keep the act up now, right?

oh god onion’s online

xyx

hes bought into what were doing

i dont see a problem with him being online

lovelylola

but him and toast are close! do you think he’s just pretending?

xyx

i dont think onion would pretend

lovelylola

you’re right, moral code or whatever

oh god

i’m sorry, xyx

xyx

its fine he cant hurt me

lovelylola

xyx, you’re really bad at lying when words hurt you.

what the fuck does nice mean? what onion said wasn’t nice

xyx

trying to soften the blow of what onion said

Quest

Hey.

Toast knows.

xyx

what

how did he find out

Bloombot

@Nakedtoaster, you are still muted for 1 minute 32 seconds.

@Nakedtoaster, you are still muted for 1 minute 30 seconds.

@Nakedtoaster, you are still muted for 1 minute 27 seconds.

Quest

/unmute @Nakedtoaster

Nakedtoaster

thanks

now

what the fuck is this?

Quest

I wouldn’t be so upset, Toast. They have access to your channel now. 

lovelylola

your channel?

Quest

Yes, your plan for jealousy backfired. I’m tired of having to look after the two groups, and it all came to a head today. I’m sorry for keeping my own act up for so long, but there’s no more act.

xyx

toast

Nakedtoaster

xyx

xyx

im sorry 

i didnt mean for it to get this far

lovelylola

i don’t think any of us did, honestly. 

i wasn’t thinking, i just wanted to make you upset.

Nakedtoaster

well, it fucking worked.

lovelylola

not in the way i intended!

Nakedtoaster

what was the intention? to make me feel shittier than i was making myself feel?

xyx

no

Nakedtoaster

don’t even fucking start, xyx

how could you keep this from me?

xyx

mate, they still love you.

Nakedtoaster

then why did they leave me?

lovelylola

you fucking left me!! not the other way around!!!

i thought your ex took you back or something

toast took a step from his phone before they threw it against the wall. if anything, a loss of communication would make this worse. how could you think that shitty person would even look at toast again? they’re out of his league, and you are too. 

xyx

he still has them blocked there would be no way for that to happen

lovelylola

then why did you leave, toast?

Nakedtoaster

because i’m not good enough for you.

and this is enough proof. 

lovelylola

toast, you’re making shit up again

you know you’re enough for me.

[mochegato]

I Can’t Fight This Feeling

Chapter 4

Chapter 1     Chapter 3

It took two weeks for Jason to break his vow to stay away from Marinette.  To be fair, it wasn’t entirely his fault.  He hadn’t sought her out and she hadn’t sought him out either.  But fate, or the universe, or luck, maybe she wasn’t wrong about having bad luck after all, had decided they weren’t done with each other.

His eyes were drawn to a figure making their way across the club.  It wasn’t so much that she caught his attention, though that dress definitely looked like it was poured on her and brought attention to her curves before it cascaded down to the floor like a waterfall from her hips, moving in mesmerizing patterns each time she took a step.  It was more the looks she was getting as she passed through the crowd that caught his attention.  Anyone getting that much attention was asking for trouble and it didn’t appear that she even realized the effect she had.

She had almost made it to the edge of the crowd when one of his regulars grabbed her arm and forced her to turn toward him. Jason cursed when he saw her face. Why was Marinette here?  The Iceberg Lounge wasn’t a place for someone like her.  He moved quickly to intercede before that particular regular, who had a reputation for getting handsy with women, touched Marinette again.  

He knew not to touch women without consent in Jason’s club, but if he forgot with Marinette, Jason was going to have to kill him, and he didn’t have murder on his schedule for today.  He would have to move around some of his other plans to accommodate.  Jason pulled his gun out of its holster, gripping it firmly, ready to take it off safety if he needed it.  He made it to them just as Marinette had dropped the guy with a well-placed punch. The man growled and stood up to hit her back, but stopped when he saw Jason behind her, his gun pointed at him. He snarled at them, but backed away and left the club as quickly as he could.

Marinette’s stance quickly relaxed and she let out a relieved breath.  She took a few more breaths before she started to move.  Her movement forced Jason to realize he had been staring at the way the dress molded to her and moved with her as she breathed.  He swallowed to wet his suddenly dry mouth and quickly moved behind her.  He couldn’t let her go just yet.  That guy got fixated easily and if he fixated on Marinette, he’d wait for her all night and either jump her immediately or trail her home to stalk her there.  Jason couldn’t let her leave yet or alone.

He holstered his gun and leaned closer to her with a smile.  “Fuck, you’re going to kill me in that dress,” he whispered in her ear.

She whirled around, her fist already cocked to lash out and punch him.  He caught it mid-swing.  “Careful, Pixie.  You could hurt someone that way,” he smirked.

“Jason,” she whispered out.  Her fist immediately relaxed in his hand.  A beaming smile made its way onto her face, taking Jason’s breath for a few seconds.  She looked down shyly and let out a light laugh before looking up at him again, a cheeky glint in her eye.  “Why would I kill you in this dress?  Though granted, if you ripped my dress trying to get into it, I would have to kill you, so I can see that happening.  But, I can design your own if you want one.”

He smirked at the offer.  He hadn’t seen this side of her before and he loved the thrill it sent through him.  “And I would look killer in it too.”

“You would look killer in anything.  I think the real design challenge would be to design something you wouldn’t look amazing in.”  She took a step closer to him as she spoke.

Jason pulled her hand against his chest.  “I’m glad you think so, Pixie,” he said quietly, suddenly feeling nervous.  He looked around anxiously, silently tallying all the eyes that were on them right now, which was definitely not good for Marinette.  He was supposed to be taking attention off of her, not adding to it. “Hey, let’s…”  He finally spotted what he was looking for.  “Let’s go someplace a bit quieter so we can talk, yeah?”

She examined his eyes for a few seconds before she nodded.  The trust she put in him made him smile, as undeserved as it was.  He gently pulled on the hand he was still holding and guided her to a curtained off VIP section he knew was unreserved.  He closed the curtain behind them.  It was private enough nobody would see her or bother her anymore, or more importantly, them together, but they could still hear the music from the club.

He brought her over to the personal bar in the corner of the room and moved behind the bar to pour a whiskey for himself. He motioned the alcohol around him and raised an eyebrow asking a silent question.  She shook her head and took a seat at the bar.  Jason took a sip and leaned against the bar.  “So, what are you doing here?  It’s not exactly the kind of place college students tend to frequent.”

She laughed again and God, that sound almost made it seem like there was something bright in this depraved club.  “Always so concerned with why I’m places,” she teased. “But, you’re right.  Normally I wouldn't. But, I was meeting with a client here.”

Jason’s hands curled into fists unintentionally. He curled them so tightly, his knuckles had turned white and his short nails were cutting into his palms.  “With a client?” he asked as casually as he could manage, which was a mixed success.  It was considerably less hostile than he felt, but definitely more aggressive than he intended.  Because she had the right to do anything she wanted with her body, but if someone was hurting her or manipulating her, he was going to kill whoever it was.

“Yeah, remember I mentioned I'm a designer?” she answered carefully, eying his fists as she spoke.  “I met her here to discuss designing a dress for her.”

Jason’s shoulders relaxed and he let out the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding in.  He shook his head in exasperation.  “Pixie… has nobody taught you survival skills for Gotham?”

She huffed in annoyance.  “That's why I insisted on a public meeting place.”  She motioned around them.

Jason groaned.  “The Iceberg Lounge is hardly a safe meeting place.  Almost nobody in here would blink an eye at somebody getting kidnapped in front of them. Hell, most of the people here would be the one doing it.”

She blinked at him a few times.  “You're here,” she noted.

“I can protect myself,” he stressed, leaning over the bar closer to her.

She quirked her head to the side and leaned away from him.  “And you think I can't?”  She raised a challenging eyebrow at him.  “Don't let the heels fool you.”

“No,” he said quietly.  “I know you can.  I just don't want you to have to and I don’t want you to test it if you don’t have to.”

Her brow furrowed in concern.  “If it's so unsafe, what are you doing here? Aren't you worried about yourself?

Jason chuckled ruefully.  “Don't worry, Pixie, nobody's worried about me, least of all me.”

“I am,” she answered softly.

Jason stared in her eyes, caught by the honesty and admiration bleeding through.  His hand had cupped her cheek before he even realized it had moved.  She grasped his forearm lightly and leaned into his touch. She closed her eyes when his thumb stroked her face.  He frowned suddenly and pulled his hand away.  He was getting too intimate.  This was about protecting her, not… more.  He couldn’t let this me more, no matter how captivating her eyes were.

She opened her eyes again when he pulled his hand away, but she kept her grip on his arm.  “Will you dance with me?”  Her voice was quiet but thick.

Jason couldn’t force himself to look away even though he knew he should.  For her benefit, for her safety, he should.  “I shouldn’t,” he answered, but his voice didn’t even sound sure to himself.

She smiled sweetly, and oh, that smile should be illegal.  She let her hand slip along his arm until she reached his hand and tugged gently toward the open space in the room.  “Come on, it’s just one dance.  What’s the worst that could happen?”

Jason knew the answer to that.  He knew the worst that could happen, he’d seen it. He’d lived it.  But he couldn’t force himself to say no.  It was just one dance.  One dance then he would say goodbye.  “Okay, Pixie.” His voice was huskier than he intended.  “One dance.”

She wound her arms around his neck and he wrapped his arms around her waist.  She rested her head on his chest and let out a contented sigh as he pulled her close against his chest and buried his face in her hair.  He could feel her skin on her bare back and it was sending tiny shocks though his fingers.  They swayed together through the end of the song and into the next few, never letting go of one another or letting any space between them.  It still counted as one dance, technically, they hadn’t let go or stopped moving, so it was still one.

He finally pulled away when his phone had been buzzing in his pocket for more than a minute now, which meant that something terrible must be happening in the club or on the streets.  He wet his lips to say something, but didn’t know what.  She beat him to it.  “Thank you for the dance and for worrying about me.”  She pushed up and placed a chaste kiss on his cheek.

He turned just as she was pulling away, his nose almost brushing against hers.  He froze, his lips just centimeters from hers, close enough for her breath to fan out across his lips.  He searched her eyes for something, he wasn’t sure what.  Hesitance? Regret?  But only found trust and affection.  His eyes flicked down to her lips for just a moment.  Her eyes softened at the motion.  

He leaned down before he could stop himself and crashed his lips into hers, letting the feeling of her lips and her body against his wash over him, getting lost in the sensation and losing all rational thought.  The only thing left was the feeling.  The feeling of her lips against his and her tongue caressing his and her breasts pressed against his chest and her hips clutched in his hands.

He squeezed her hips, pulling them closer until there was no space between them.  She whimpered into his mouth and he was gone.  His legs felt weak from the want he suddenly felt. The desire, the NEED coursing through him.  He forced himself to stop.  He wasn’t sure if he would be able to force himself to later.  He pressed his forehead to hers and stroked her cheeks gently. “I shouldn’t do this to you,” he murmured, his eyes still closed, just enjoying the feel of her against him.

“I liked it,” she encouraged him, her voice as smooth as silk.  “I wanted you to.  I still do.  I’m very much thinking about doing it again.”  She pushed up and captured his lips again.  Her hands caressed his face and pulled it closer at the same time.  She mourned the loss of his lips on hers when he pulled away until she felt his lips on her jaw and neck as he kissed a trail down her neck to her collarbone.  She moaned at the new contact.

The sound knocked Jason out of his passion induced stupor.  He pulled away again and swallowed heavily, gasping for breath and begging his heart to slow down to a semi normal rate.  He pressed his forehead back against hers again. “God, Pixie, that sound should be illegal.”

“So should that feeling,” Marinette nodded in agreement.  She pushed up to kiss him again, but he pulled away.  She gave him a confused look, but didn’t press forward again.

“I’m trying to do the right thing here,” he said. His voice was almost desperate for her to understand.

She reached up and ran her fingers along his jaw before cupping his face.  “If the right thing doesn’t involve you kissing me, I question your definition of right.”

He took a breath and looked at her lips again.  He very much longed to kiss them again.  “You don’t remember me.  If you did… I wasn’t good, Pixie.  I’m still not.  But you, you were always good.  You were always strong.  You were always too good for me.”

She guided his face back to her lips.  This kiss was sweet, loving.  “You’re trying to look out for me.  Do you know why that is?”  He shook his head lightly.  “Because you’re a good guy.”

Jason huffed and looked down.  “I’m just not that much of an asshole.”

“I already told you,” she said lightly, urging him to look back up at her.  “I don’t believe you’re a bad guy.  No matter how much you try to convince me.  And, if I remember you, I must not have thought you were that bad back then either.”

Jason shook his head and looked back in her eyes. “Someday I’ll tell you everything and I hope you still believe that.”

Marinette smiled at his words.  They meant he anticipated a future with her, together, and one in which he trusted her enough to tell her all his secrets.  She squeezed closer to his face.  “I can’t wait to find out as much about you as you’ll let me see.”  She wrapped her arms around his neck again, pulling him closer to her as she kissed him. He ran his fingers into her hair, holding her as he deepened the kiss.

They broke apart when someone pushed the curtain to the side.  Jason had his gun pointed at him with the safety off before Marinette even saw who it was.  Jason put the safety back on when he recognized his Club Manager.  “What the fuck do you want?” Jason growled as he reholstered his gun.  Marinette giggled and buried her now bright red face in his chest.

“We need you out front.  Sorry, boss, it’s important,” he said apologetically, trying not to look at Marinette.

Jason groaned and rested his forehead on Marinette’s head.  “Fine, fine.” He pulled away and gave her a placating motion.  “Just, stay here, yeah?  I’ll be right back.  Will you wait for me?”

Marinette smiled at him.  “Forever.”  Jason’s eyes softened and he smiled back at her.  Her smile suddenly turned sultry.  “Besides, I’m not done with you.”

Jason choked and looked down at her wide eyed. A roguish grin made its way onto his face.  “You might just be more dangerous than me, Pixie.”  He gave her a quick kiss before following his manager through the curtain.

Chapter 5

Tags:

@jasonette-july-event @jayjayspixiepop @aespades @how-to-function-properly @pawsitivelymiraculous @maribatserver

[linkspooky]

Dabi the Villain, Touya the Victim

That no.1 title you’ve always wanted is a lot of pressure, huh? Has your heart been purified with all the praise you’ve received from the public? Does your newfound vigor as a father figure to your children, make you feel like you’re developing a ‘familial bond’ with them? You seriously thought if you could keep your eyes towards the future the past would forget itself would you? It’s time for someone to give you a life lesson - (RHA SCANS). 

The past doesn’t forget. Dabi doesn’t forget. Scars may fade with time but Dabi’s won’t, they’ll only get worse and worse as he continues to burn himself using his quirk. Dabi arrives at literally the single worst time possible, to throw salt in old wounds, and stick his fingers in them for good measure. It’s clear, Dabi’s revenge is just going to make things worse for everyone, including his family, including Shoto.

However that begs the question, if not now, then when? This was always going to happen. I don’t mean ‘abusive families have to air their dirty laundry in live television’ I mean, there was always going to be some consequence to what Endeavor did to his family. Dabi is a monster, yes, but in-story he’s a monster of Endeavor’s creation. Dabi wouldn’t even exist without Endeavor’s direct actions. He’s a reflection of every bad thing Endeavor has done up until this point and everything he needs to face. The number one hero created the number one worst villain. 

1. The Shadow

Dabi is more than just a murderer, he’s also a jungian archetype. The shadow is a jungian idea that states on the whole we are not as good as we think we are. In fact, we actually might be much worse. 

The shadow is either an unconscious aspect of the personality that the conscious ego does not identify in itself; or the entirety of the unconscious, i.e., everything of which a person is not fully conscious. In short, the shadow is the unknown side.

To put it into simple terms how we perceive ourselves, what we are aware of the light, is the conscious mind. 

Everything else, everything we’re unaware of, what we’re ignoring, how we might come off to others, the unintended consequences of our actions is the shadow we cast. This isn’t something I”m making up it’s directly referenced in story. 

The approach of the villains have multiple times been compared to shadows stretching and growing deeper, this is Jungian symbolism. 

The emperor of Fallen Light, the villain that Dabi himself sent after Endeavor said word for word “His shining Light beckons the dark.” This is a story idea that’s been set up for awhile, Endeavor’s light is a false light. He is a good hero, the best there is currently, but calling him a hero requires ignoring everything he has done to his family. Most of the people who call Endeavor a hero have no idea what he did to his family, and even most of his family is just trying to forget and move on with their lives. 

Endeavor’s redemption so far has been a false one, it hinges on everybody else wanting to just move on with their lives, and everyone else being forgiving towards his actions. I’m not saying that Endeavor’s wish to atone isn’t genuine, I’m saying the story has been setting up an arc of false light. We are shown the light of his actions, his desire to redeem himself, his desire to be a hero that Shoto can look up to, and we ignore the shadow. 

There’s a duality to Endeavor. Technically there’s a duality to everyone. There’s the light, and the dark. To put it in less abstract terms, even within good intentions there can be hidden bad intentions. A person who gives to charity might just be doing it to make themselves feel like they’re a good person. There’s even an episode of friends about this, Phoebe gets in an argument with somebody that even “charitable” deeds like giving awaay money can be a little selfish because helping others makes you feel good about yourself, so she tries the whole episode to find a truly selfless action. 

There’s a duality to Endeavor, there are two Endeavors, Endeavor the hero, and Endeavor the bad dad. They are both Endeavor in the end, he is all of his good actions and bad actions. Focusing only on his bad actions, or only on his good actions would be an incorrect reading of his character. 

What I’m saying is, this idea has been building up in the story for a long time. This duality in Endeavro’s character. He is a hero capable of villainous things. However, the public, Endeavor’s own family, and characters like Midoriya and All Might only really ever see the good side to Endeavor’s actions. They all look at the light, at Endeavor the hero. 

For the most part Endeavor has not been confronted by consequences for his actions. Yes, Endeavor tries to listen when Natsuo expresses his hurt feelins. Yes, Endeavor realizes his family might want to live without him in the house. However, as opposed to Dabi who has been hated as a villain by all of society for the crimes he has committed, Endeavor is still getting the hero treatment. The worst Endeavor has to come against is his own children’s hurt feelings at his actions. Even then, Natsuo has somebody like Fuyumi constantly pushing him to try to reconcile with his father. He has Endeavor violating his boundaries, and hugging him. Rather than criticizing Endeavor for what he did, most of the criticism falls on Natsuo for not moving on. Like, what Endeavor did is just something that happened in the past that they all have to move on from. He still has the respect of his peers, he still has his position in society, he still has the title of Number One Hero. 

This happens because everybody looks at Endeavor, and they’re all blinded by the light, they only see his good deeds and not his bad ones. This isn’t a post debating whether or not Endeavor earned or deserves his punishment, or whether require punishment, it’s just an argument that there are consequences to your actions. That’s Dabi. He’s consequences. Everyone around Endeavor has been repressing their feelings. The Todorokis are asked to repress their personal hurt over the past for the sake of moving forward. 

 Dabi is the shadow that Endeavor casts. There is a villain in Endeavor’s actions. As long as Endeavor ignores that, as long as he keeps seeing himself in only a heroic life, that villain is only going to manifest elsewhere. In a story, repression does not work, simply ignoring your problems does not work. If a character ignores their shadow that shadow manifests and takes on a life of it’s own. 

Dabi is a response to those repressed feelings. Not only is he a repsonse to them, he’s an inevitable result of them. No child abuse doesn’t usually turn abuse victims into murderers. That’s also, not the point. The point is this is a story, Endeavor tried to just bury the past, and Dabi, rose from the grave and said “No, I don’t think the past is better off buried. I think we should talk about it.” 

2. The Monster

“People like to think their actions are free from guilt but they’re not-” This is once again more Jungian symbolism. People want to believe they are on the whole good and well-intentioned people. People want to believe they are better than they are. 

Dabi has been hurt. Burned even. While Endeavor only looks at the best of himself, his heroic intentions, his ambition to become number one, Dabi sees not only the worst in himself, but the worst in his father, the worst in everyone. 

The reason people identify with Dabi is not because they think murderers are sexy (but let’s admit it they are) it’s because Dabi as a character is made up of hurt feelings. He has been burned. He doesn’t forgive the people who burned him. He represents a darker, rawer side to human emotion. Sometimes abuse doesn’t make people poor innocent victims, it’s just pain, sometimes nothing constructive or good comes out of it. Sometimes it’s just damage, to you, and everybody around you. 

Putting aside the fact that he’s a murderer (hey I acknowledged it, look at me acknowledging it), Dabi is also written as a character to embody the worst parts of abuse. The negative emotions that Dabi feels are real. Dabi’s hurt feelings are just as real, as the good intentions and desire to forgive that family members like Fuyumi and Shoto have. Neither is more valid, more real than the other. 

However, everyone looks at the light, and the shadow is ignored. Dabi’s hurt feelings haven’t even been acknowledged. Not only that, but the feelings of all people hurt tend to get swept under the rug for the sake of “everyone else.” 

When Shigaraki says Heroes have turned a blind-eye to the suffering of others, he doesn’t mean that heroes don’t try their hardest to save people, or that heroes never save people. He’s saying that the characters in the story are repressing their issues instead of confronting them, and repression makes people ignorant instead of being able to truly address the problem. Now, connect that back to Dabi, who is the shadow of his father’s actions. 

Toya himself is someone in the story who has been “forgotten.” We see Fuyumi praying at his shrine, as well as Endeavor, Natsuo can’t bring himself to forgive Endeavor because of his feelings over Toya. Yes, yes, yes. However. One, the number one hero had his son die and nobody even investigated into those situation. Two, nobody even talks about it nowadays. Shoto brings up his older brother’s death at the dinner table like it’s just an awkward subject he’s uncomfortable talking about... not you know, a tragedy. 

And I’m not saying that Shoto is in the wrong here. I don’t mean to demonize his response. I’m suggesting he’s repressed. He’s repressing his hurt feelings about the brother he never got a chance to meet, his two other siblings, his mother, all of that to continue to work with his father because he wants to move forward with his dream, and probably because if he tried facing all of that it would hurt a lot. 

However, it’s still the tendency of all the characters on the heroic side to repress things, and look at that from Dabi’s point of view. His own family members don’t even recognize him because of a few scars on his face. 

It’s lonely. At the very least it’s lonely and serves to isolate Dabi in his grief further. Push him to believing that he really did die alone and was going to get forgotten, that his survival is just a hindrance that prevents everything in his family from moving forward. Dabi is made up of hurt feelings, and Dabi without prejudgice takes out those feelings on other people. However, Dabi is still a person. The same way Endeavor is both hero and villain, Dabi is both villain and victim at the same time. Dabi was a ten year old who didn’t really do anything wrong who died, after being ignored by his father his whole life. Dabi is, a zombie that’s barely alive, and constantly killing himself with his own quirk. Dabi’s pain is impossible to ignore, and yet he feels ignored. 

The difference between Dabi and Endeavor is that Dabi is living as a villain, he acknowledges that he is a villain. He’s the only one in the league to show genuine remorse for killing people, crying a tear of blood and trying to dissociate his own feelings of guilt and the past from himself to the point where he remarks he’s going ‘crazy’ thinking about it. (That doesn’t make it okay, but since when is anything ever okay with the Todorokis?) You have a character who knows exactly what he did wrong, confronting a character who for the most part still sees hismelf as a hero. 

Endeavor still sees himself as a hero in this situation. Dabi lives confronting the worst parts of himself (well he’s barely alive but still), he’s stich together scar tissue, and is covered in wounds. He is everything bad that has happened to him. But still, Dabi is at least AWARE. 

Beyond all the other plot details, what he’s doing right now is confrontation of something that Endeavor was previously ignorant of. It’s the crux of Dabi’s speech to Endeavor. What he’s saying is pointing out the dark side of each of Endeavor’s good actions. 

Endeavor becomes the number one hero, which means he finally gets all the praise, acclaim and honor he always thought he was entitled to. This doesn’t mean that Endeavor’s wish to become strong to serve as a supporting pillar for the nation was a lie, but what Dabi says also isn’t a lie either. It’s the hidden dark side of Endeavor’s actions which Endeavor does not acknowledge. 

Endeavor wants to move on and act like a father to his children like twenty years after the fact, and coincidentally this also happens right after being handed everything he wanted on a silver platter. Dabi is pointing out, the negative sides of Endeavor’s actions. Aren’t you just being nice because you’ve gotten everything you’ve wanted now? Don’t you just think you deserve to have your children love you too? 

Dabi is confronting Endeavor with the dark sides of actions so he can no longer remain blind, and he is literally in story an agent of the cosnequences of Endeavor’s actions. Dabi became a villain because Endeavor had a son for the sake of his own selfish desire to get stronger, cast him aside, and then even let Toya die. Even if Endeavor wants to move past that, Toya doesn’t. Because for Toya that defines his whole life. Toya was burned by either Endeavor’s flames, or the fire of his own quirk that Endeavor trained him to use. The reason Toya doesn’t move on is because for him, he can’t move on. Toya is dead. Toya died. Toya is some kind of zombie. And if not a zombie, Toya is dying. All because of what his father did to him. And he gets to see his father move on with his life. Everybody else gets to “Get over” his death with Toya, who is left behind. 

Toya is a frankenstein’s monster, created by Endeavor, abandoned by Endeavor, let loose by Endeavor on the world. In the real world this would be a far more complicated question, but in a story, especially one that references frankenstein directly, Dabi is quite literally “Endeavor’s Monster” running amok. Dabi would not even exist if not for Endeavor’s actions. 

Dabi doesn’t even know why he existed, or why he was brought into this world, because for him, all there’s been is pain. Pain enough to turn his hair white, and burn half of his skin off. 

The same way Endeavor only sees the best of himself, Dabi only sees the worst of himself, the shadow. However, the difference between them is Dabi has grown up mostly in the dark. 

Dabi is a reaction to circumstances. You can say it’s a bad reaction. You can say it’s not justified. You can call him a monster. You’re probably right, but still Dabi did not create those circumstances, Endeavor did, Dabi can only react to them. Dabi is a consequence to everything Endeavor did to his own family. It might be entirely Dabi’s choice how he reacts, and true Dabi did not have to choose to be a murderer, but Dabi also never deserved to be put into this situation in the first place. 

If Dabi is responsible for his reaction, then Endeavor is equally responsible for creating him. It’s something Endavor has to confront, because this ignorance, this represion, it hurts people. Think of Endeavor’s actions a few chapters ago. 

Shigaraki is another victim of an abusive father, just like Dabi. Shigaraki is also lashing out, and trying to bring down the hero society, just like Dabi. Endeavor right up until Dabi arrived, and revealed himself thought he was completely justified in wanting to kill Shigaraki for the sake of everyone. Up until five minutes ago, Endeavor only saw himself as the hero, the light, meant to vanquish the king of evil. 

Endeavor was perfectly willing to kill Shigaraki up until five minutes ago, because he only saw him as a villain. 

And now suddenly Dabi showed up and it got all complicated and shit. However, it was always complicated and shit. The villains were never objectively bad. The heroes were never objectively good. The world wasn’t as black and white as Endeavor saw it. 

Now Endeavor’s good action (saving all of hero society as number one hero), requires something most people would consider to be objectively bad (putting down his own son). 

The personal investment that Enji has in both Toya being his own son, and also his guilt over what he’s done to his family in the past, now make it impossible for Dabi to be just another villain. 

Except Dabi is Shigaraki. Dabi is Shigaraki, Himiko, Twice, Shuichi (not compress tho he’s just in it for the drama of it all). The villains in this story are trying to draw the attention of the heroes to problems within society, problems that have negatively affected them, so they can be fixed. You can’t fix something if you’re blind to it. You can’t deal with something by ignoring it. Dabi’s confrontation isn’t only inevitable, it’s necessary for moving forward. 

The shadow isn’t destroyed or ignored, it’s accepted, because in the end it’s a part of you. You are both everything good about you, and all of your flaws at the same time. Living as a fully rounded person means acknowledging that. 

Enji’s development is about putting his selfish sense of entitlement aside and learning how his actions have impacted others. Here is Dabi, dancing around going “Hey, Dad, this is how your actions have impacted me. Look at my burns.” 

Confrontation is good. The hurt feelings that have been repressed should be expressed. 

 If Enji had continued on being ignorant, he would have unknowingly torched his own son, and just seen him as another one of the villains. Isn’t that the worst possible result? Beyond hero and villain, isn’t a father killing his own son tragic? 

Dabi’s personal revenge is wrong. His decision to lash out is wrong. His obvious desire to kill himself, and then his own father isn’t just wrong, it’s unhealthy. Trying to burn yourself alive and be a martyr to a cause because you think there’s no good reason for you to be alive, and you’re going to die anyway no matter what you do - is in fact a bad coping mechanism. 

Dabi is wrong, however, ignoring what happened to him is also wrong. It’s all wrong. Trying to repress those hurt feelings is just as unhealthy a coping mechanism, as lashing out with them. 

Dabi is all hurt feelings, yes, he can’t forgive and he can’t forget, but maybe some things like the past shouldn’t be forgotten. Rather than ignoring the past you can acknowledge it, learn from it,  reincorporate it into who you are now, because the past is just as much of a part of the present as Dabi’s burnt skin and scars are a part of who he is now. 

[bikelock28]

Can you explain what you mean by “Lupin's Pottermore bio doesn't fit with canon Remadora.”?

Ohhh boy, thank you for asking this question. I've been wanting to get this off my chest for a while. There are 3 main inconsistencies so prepare for a long answer!

Inconsistency 1: OotP According to Pottermore, the whole Lupin/Tonks thing kicks off with: One night when they lay in hiding outside a known Death Eater’s house, after a year of increasingly warm friendship, Tonks made an idle remark about one of their fellow Order members (‘He’s still handsome, isn’t he, even after Azkaban?’). Before he could stop himself, Remus had replied bitterly that he supposed she had fallen for his old friend (‘He always got the women.’). At this, Tonks became suddenly angry. ‘You’d know perfectly well who I’ve fallen for, if you weren’t too busy feeling sorry for yourself to notice.’

Then Lupin goes Full Lupin about it and, "avoided any further excursions with [Tonks], barely talked to her, and started volunteering for the most dangerous missions. Tonks became desperately unhappy". This all happened BEFORE Sirius' death.

There's a few things to unpack here. I'll start with the fact that "I suppose you've fallen for him. He always got the women," is a crazy thing to say to someone about their cousin. JK is a fan of the Tonks-loves-Sirius fake-out and it's understandable from Harry's PoV but a weird take from Lupin (*cough* especially if you also ship Wolfstar *cough*).

Next, in the final scene of OotP, Tonks is described as, "her bright bubble-gum-pink hair gleaming in the sunlight"- her hair is still working and she is specifically described as standing in sunlight, #patheticfallacy. "Next to Tonks was Lupin"- THEY ARE SPECIFICALLY MENTIONED AS BEING BESIDE EACH OTHER. And then they start finishing each other's sandwiches sentences. Not the behaviour of a guy who is desperately trying to avoid someone.

Inconsistency 2: HBP After all that, Lupin goes off to Greyback Land for most of HBP. Pottermore says that around Bill's hospital bed in HBP Ch 29, "Tonks made a brave, public declaration of her feelings for Remus, who was forced to admit the strength of his love for her". This fits with what Pottermore has previously suggested- that HBP Ch29 is the first time these feelings have been discussed by either party since the "You’d know perfectly well who I’ve fallen for". Except here's the dialogue from the book: Tonks: “You see! She still wants to marry him, even though he’s been bitten! She doesn’t care!"

Lupin: “It’s different. Bill will not be a full werewolf. The cases are completely —”

Tonks: “But I don’t care either, I don’t care! I’ve told you a million times…”

Lupin: “And I’ve told you a million times that I am too old for you, too poor…too dangerous…”

Molly: “I’ve said all along you’re taking a ridiculous line on this, Remus,”

Lupin: “I am not being ridiculous. Tonks deserves somebody young and whole.”

Arthur: “But she wants you. And after all, Remus, young and whole men do not necessarily remain so,"

Lupin: “This is…not the moment to discuss it. Dumbledore is dead…”

Professor McGonagall: "Dumbledore would have been happier than anybody to think that there was a little more love in the world,” This is not a "brave, public declaration of feelings for Remus"! And in no way does Lupin "admit the strength of his love for her"! It's almost the opposite, he can barely look at her. Nobody mentions love until McGonogall right at the end. This isn't a declaration of love, this is a follow-up argument from a conversation which has already happened, and which all the adults in the room are aware of. It doesn't fit with the Pottermore implication that this has all been repressed for a year- this situation has been well-known, and it's clearly not the first time Tonks and Lupin have discussed their relationship.

Inconsistency 3: HBP/DH The above scene happens on 30/6, and by 31/7, they're married and they both know she's pregnant. Even if you headcanon the unlikely idea that Teddy was conceived as soon as Harry left the room in HBP Ch29, 31 days is pretty quick to develop pregnancy symptoms at all, let alone decide the symptoms are consistent enough to warrant a test, and then actually get hold of and do the test. And that's just for Tonks to find out herself, she might have taken a while to tell Lupin. And it wasn't a normal 31 days, it was a pretty busy time in which you might not have time to worry about missing a period or sourcing a pregnancy test! So while technically yes, it could have happened, it seems a pretty tight turnaround to me (full disclosure: I've never been or tried to get pregnant, so my evidence for this is anecdotal/from Google. Happy to be corrected if anybody has anything about this to add).

(Also Pottermore says, "Remus realised that Tonks was pregnant," which irritates me because I’m pretty sure that Tonks realised Tonks was pregnant before anybody else did).

Conclusion Those are the three main inconsistencies imo. I vaguely included that “You’d know perfectly well who I’ve fallen for, if you weren’t too busy feeling sorry for yourself to notice” scene in Pluto because I quite like it (despite having to find a reason why Lupin would suggest that cousins fancy each other), although I had it be a catalyst to Tonks and Lupin having a relationship in OotP. I suppose I was trying to cover all basis/ have my cake and eat it, and sometimes I wish I hadn’t included that Pottermore scene at all tbh, but there we are. For me, Book Canon is gospel and Pottermore etc is a lesser form of canon, so the inconsistencies don't, like, ruin my life. They're just kind of annoying. I don't think they're huge errors or fails on JK's part, I reckon she overlooked a few details from the books when she wrote Pottermore, which is forgivable considering there's over a million words of the books in total. Phew! Glad to get that off my chest. Thanks for asking, have a fantastic week :) x

[squishytenya]

Iida Fluff Alphabet

R: GN

Warning: None

Note: Technically, it hasn’t been his birthday for 1 hour and 8 minutes but here it is! Please forgive any spelling mistakes, I’m a little tired and burnt out.

(like the new header?)

A = Affectionate (How affectionate are they with an s/o?)

I feel like Tenya is a little uncomfortable with it at first, but he secretly likes being affectionate with you. There is a lot of affection in private, mostly initiated by you, but not really in public because he tends to get flustered quickly. In public he is more likely to stick to leading you places with a hand on your waist (a gentleman) or just light, lingering touches to remind you that he’s there. If you’re walking he might hold your hand too. Privately I feel like he is very big on cuddles and likes to have you on his lap while watching movies, eating etc. Just likes knowing you’re there really.

B = Breath (What could their s/o do to take their breath away?

If you talk to him about something that you’re extremely passionate about. The way your face lights up and you talk a mile a minute with this big grin never fails to get him staring at you like you hung the stars. It’s the same when you’re sat intently listening to whatever he is passionate about. He tends to trail off and get caught up staring at you because it leaves him breathless how much love he sees in one stare.     

C = Cuddling (Do they cuddle? If so, how and when?)

He definitely cuddles! You may have to initiate it at first, but he gets better at not turning into an utter mess when you cuddle. He tends to ask for them when he is sad or tired, but he likes cuddling when you guys are on stay-at-home dates too. He is a big guy so he prefers to have you laying on him or tucked into his side with an arm around his waist. If he is really upset though he will tuck his head under your chin and snuggle into your neck.

D = Dream (What do they dream of doing with their s/o?)

Iida is the king of domestic life,  so his dream is to buy a house with you and to be able to wake up next to you every day for the rest of his life. That and he wants to see you and his family become close. Its one of his biggest wishes to have a family dinner at the house that you both own with his family and just be able to see you and Tensei talking about anything.

E = Effort (How much effort do they put into a relationship?)

A lot of effort is put into this relationship on his part. He makes sure that any arguments or bad moods never fester and is the first to apologise to you in an argument if they even happen. Never fails to bring you flowers every single time you have a date, even if it’s just a movie night. Tenya never wants to lose you, and he makes sure to compliment you and listen to you as much as possible to keep you happy and content with everything,

F = Fear (What do they do if their s/o is scared? How do they handle it?)

Iida immediately grasps your hand in his and shuffles a little closer to you in order to show you he is there with you, keeping you safe. If you start crying he will wrap his arms around you and let you hide your face from what is scaring you until it stops/is gone. Expect a lot of hot drinks and cuddles afterwards cause he is removing you from the situation and spoiling the hell out of you.

G = Gifts (What type of gifts do they give their s/o? Do they want a gift in return?)

He is rich and he uses this to his advantage If there’s one thing Iida is good at it’s listening to you so he always knows what you need and want even if you forget you’ve told him. Prefers buying you useful presents like things you broke or misplaced but isn’t opposed to spoiling you with fancy gifts. There is no way you can give them back either because he usually just pushes them into your hand or bag and carries on talking about what he was before.

H = Hugs (Do they hug their s/o? How often?)

As i mentioned before, he has issues with initiating hugs at first, but it grows on him. He hugs you fairly often just not in public, and you’re probably the one asking or hugging him first. Unless he’s particularly happy, then he will do the whole hugging you and spinning you round in joy thing.

I = Intimacy (How romantic are they? Do they have problems with intimacy?)

Contrary to popular belief, I think he is romantic; it just doesn’t come to him easily. It’s the little, unspoken things mostly that let you know how much he cares. Still, he is willing to tell you how much he loves you verbally if you catch him in the right moment, the only intimacy issue Tenya has is thinking it’s improper to be affectionate in front of people. He still blushed every single time yo do it.

J = Jealous (Do they get jealous easily? How do they act when jealous?)

It takes a lot for him to get jealous; he is usually trusting of you and the people you surround yourself with. But he can’t help it sometimes, as much as he tries to hide it, he has emotions too. When he gets jealous, it is so obvious. His eyebrows knit together and he gives an unimpressed once-over to the person you are talking to before he rests his hand on your hip. The person tends to back off when he sees your partner because he can be a little intimidating to people who don’t know him as a massive nerd.

K = Kiss (Are they a good kisser? Do they like to kiss? How often do they try to kiss their s/o?)

I feel like Iida is a good kisser, if not a little stiff. He just works himself up at first and gets nervous but he eventually calms down and melts into you. Morning and good night kisses are a must, it’s part of his routine now, and he gets fidgety if he doesn’t get them. Kisses happen wherever you decide they’re gonna happen, Iida never fails to ask before kissing you unless he’s a little frustrated ;)

L = Love (When do they say ‘I love you’? How often? Do they prefer to say it or just show it?)

He says it surprisingly often. It’s usually quiet so nobody else can help it, but he likes to rest his chin on you and mutter a quiet ‘i love you, my angel’. It never fails to make you warm up but it’s second nature to him at this point,

M = Marriage (Do they want to get married? If so, what type of ceremony?)

I hate writing about weddings so i want to keep this short and sweet. He does want to get married and he’s also rather traditional about it but lowkey wants an outdoor wedding so he can see you in the sun.

N = Night Out (What type of dates do they like to go on? How often do they like to do this?)

Iida likes dates where you guys are relatively alone. He isn’t opposed to fancy restaurants, it’s not like he can’t afford it, but he prefers walking around pars or spending time inside with you. His house definitely has balconies, so he likes stargazing with you and eating homecooked meals under the night sky.

O = Out-Of-The-Ordinary (What’s something they don’t normally do with/for their s/o?)

He doesn’t reprimand you as much as others, and if he sees you breaking some rules, then he will just turn a blind eye. This does not apply to his classmates though and he will often tell people like Kaminari and Bakugou off for the same things that he lets you off the hook for.

P = Playful (Are they playful in a relationship? If so, how do they play around/mess with their s/o?)

You guys need to stop thinking he’s gonna be as stiff with his s/o as he is with his classmates. I feel like he is decently playful with you and likes teasing you about certain things. For example, if you’re shorter than him, he will just so happen to put your favourite food on the top shelf. Also, he likes speeding up while you guys are out for walks just to see you whine about not being able to catch up.

Q = Questions (Do they ask for their s/o’s opinion on things? Do they share their own?)

Iida, As I said earlier, values communication above most. If you guys haven’t talked about a decision, he will be sure to get your opinion before making any choices. This means he is quick to give his own opinion on things too, but only if he knows his opinion is needed/wanted.

R = Random (How spontaneous is their relationship? Do they do things on-the-spot or plan ahead?)

Tenya is a plan-ahead guy in almost every aspect of his life, you included. He carefully plans everything important like date nights, spending time with each other and gifts to buy. Not that he will complain if you are spontaneous, he doesn’t mind if you suddenly leave the fancy date and decided to sit on your car with fast food. As long as he’s with you it’s according to plan.

S = Sleep (How do they sleep with their s/o?)

Iida will probably fall asleep with minimum contact, maybe just holding your hand or having an arm around you, but he cuddles in his sleep. You often wake up completely encased in his arms and you can hear his little snores above you. If either of you is sick or upset he tends to prefer you lying on him, face in his chest, so you can both be wrapped around each other and feel safe.

T = Trust (How much do they trust their s/o?)

He trusts you as much as possible. You’re the first to know about any struggles and secrets he might keep from his friends in an effort not to worry them/embarrass himself. If it came down to it, he would trust you with his life because he knows you care about him as much as he cares about you. The biggest sign of this is when he takes you to meet Tensei and cries on the way home, worrying about his brother. That is when you knew that he really trusted you. 

U = Unique (What makes them unique as an s/o?)

Iida knows a lot of things about you that you can’t even remember telling him. It’s mostly because he’s talked to your friends or you and taken in little bits of information that you said offhandedly. This can include comfort food, movies, your favourite days out and what scares you.

V = Vulnerable (How long until they can be vulnerable around their s/o? How do they show vulnerability?)

I think it will take a good couple of months for him to be vulnerable around his s/o. It isn’t that he wants to be strong and not burden you it’s just that he is nervous for you to see him in an emotional state when you haven’t before. Iida shows vulnerability by blatantly telling you how he’s feeling and requesting affection, which he is often to shy to do.

W = Wild Card (A random domestic headcanon.)

He learns how to cook from his parents specifically so he can make you your favourite food when you have a date or if you are upset. Also, he learns to cook the breakfast form wherever you’re form so he can wake you up with a taste of home.

X = X-Ray (What would they do if their s/o got sick or injured?)

He would be a complete and utter mother hen about it. Makes sure you have the best treatment and gives you medicine by himself so he knows you take it. Anything you need, he’s on it you just have to ask. Even more attentive than normal cause he’s slightly freaked out but just pull him in for a cuddle and he’ll calm down.

Y = Yuck (Do they have any pet peeves concerning their s/o? What habits do they have that bother their s/o?)

If you’re particularly childish or very messy in your personal life, he doesn’t like that much.  It’s not so much the physical mess as leaving an emotional mess by being cruel or mean to people. As far as he’s concerned you should never be mean or tease someone that hasn’t done anything to you. Iida’s bluntness may get to you at some point as well as his aversion for being public about your relationship but just talk to him and he will understand.

Z = Zeal (Are they passionate as an s/o? Do they want or like passion?)

Have you seen him yell? About Midoriya’s quirk or Uraraka’s backstory? The boy is passionate but good at hiding it. You kinda need to be blunt about the way you feel with him so passion is very appreciated and he just likes to know that the relationship you have makes you as happy as it makes him.

[pixiebuggiewrites]

Sorry Wrong Number!

Description: When Damian Wayne receives a mysterious text message he's not sure what to make of it. Little did he know that it would lead him down a rabbit hole of information regarding a villain in Paris and a superhero team led by a girl in red and black spots.

Meanwhile, the Miraculous team is struggling. they're down a member and there's seems to be a new peacock in town. The teams only hope is to reach out for help-leading to new alliances, friendships, and romance.

This is my first real fanfic so any constructive criticism is appreciated!! Just keep it friendly please

Masterpost - Next - Ao3 link

Chapter 1: Marinette’s bad day

Marinette Dupain-Cheng was no stranger to bad days. In fact, over the past two years she had become well acquainted with them.

                                                          ----------

Two years ago If you told her that Lila Rossi would somehow actually manage to take almost everything away from the then 14 year old designer she probably wouldn't have believed you. She had faith in her friends which, looking back was a pretty big mistake. She was less than surprised when most of her classmates began freezing her out. It stung but it’s not like they ever really helped her during Chloe’s original reign of terror so in a sense nothing really changed except for the person behind the pain.

What did surprise her-and perhaps stung the most-was that her closest friends left her as well. Alya had been enamored by stories of celebrities and quick to end their friendship when Lila cried about all of the terrible things Marinette had done and said to the transfer student. Nino remained mostly neutral but was dating Alya so it wasn’t exactly easy to hang out like they used to.

And Adrien? What a bullet she dodged there.

The sweet boy who gave her an umbrella and became her first real crush had proven himself to be way too passive. His many speeches about the high road and how nobody was being hurt had chipped away at that crush until there was barely a spark left.

A spark that was finally put out when she discovered that he was her (now former) superhero partner.

Luckily the young heroine wasn't completely alone. While she hadn't told them the full story with the Lila situation lest either of them get akumatized her parents still had a sixth sense for when she was low on fumes and would always find a way to brighten her day. Her Uncle Jagged and Aunt Penny were still there too, having become part of her family in all but blood and name. It had come as quite a shock the first time she came downstairs for family game night and saw the two of them sipping hot-cocoa and exchanging stories with her parents as Fang slept on the floor, But it had slowly become a regular occurrence in the Dupain-Cheng household for them to drop by whenever they had the time.

She had made new friends too. Her and Luka grew closer and even dated for a couple months before realizing that their melodies worked better platonically, becoming best friends ever since. The two would regularly have  ‘creativity sessions’ where Luka would test out his newest songs as Mari worked on her designs.

Her and Kagami had also grown closer once they both realized that their blossoming friendship was more valuable than a battle over a boy that they both had kinda grown out of their feelings for. They had started meeting once a week to enjoy some orange juice and fence and it had just evolved from there, Marinette had even been the first person Kagami came out to as gay. Kagami was also the first person she decided to share her identity as a superhero with. Luka had already known-a result of his second akuma as Viperion-but it felt different to make an active decision to share that part of her life with someone.

The most surprising addition to her friend group though, was one Chloe Bourgeois. Marinette wasn't really sure what to expect when the blonde had asked her to talk after school one day, but it certainly was not an apology. Chloe had explained that she had been in therapy for the past few months trying to better herself, and that seeing how Lila was really drove the point home for her in accepting how wrong her previous actions had been. Their friendship was rocky at first, as that much history doesn’t just disappear overnight, but it had slowly grown as the heiress proved over time how she really had changed. Sitting next to each other in class had led to them passing notes which led to them grabbing lunch together sometimes which somehow, eventually, led to the two becoming pseudo-sisters. She had been the third person to find out she was Ladybug, when one day she swung into her room mid-transformation only to realize that Chloe had shown up early for their sleepover that night.

At some point in all of this, her three friends also became friends with each other, forming a close knit group. Their varied personalities all seemed to balance each other out, which made them the perfect team in more ways than one.

 Which is why she decided to make them all permanent Miraculous holders.

Shortly after her 16th birthday, Master Fu asked her to take over as guardian of the Miracle box. He wasn't getting any younger and had managed to find a way to preserve his memories after passing on guardianship, so that he could still help should the need ever arise. Marinette was apprehensive but she had technically finished all of her training and she wanted Fu to have a chance at a nice retirement so she said yes.

The next day, just hours after she wished her teacher safe travels she made a very important decision. A decision to revoke Chat Noir’s ring.

You see, as Guardian it's kind of important to know who holds the magical pieces of jewelry that are your job to protect. Therefore Fu made the ever wise decision to tell her before promptly riding off into the sunset.

To say that Marinette was upset at the atomic bomb dropped on her was a bit of an understatement. She actually made the executive decision to have Kaalki portal her out of Paris just so that she could mentally unpack everything without risking an akuma. She stared up at the sky from the field she had landed in for what felt like hours and eventually came to accept a few things that she’d honestly been feeling for awhile.

Like the fact that sacrificing himself every other battle wasn't actually that heroic, especially when most of the hits he took for her she would have dodged anyways. Or the fact that he would act out whenever she asked him to take things more seriously by showing up late to akumas and threatening to quit. She had been considering talking to Fu about his behavior for awhile but was always stopped by the fact that they had been fighting together since day one, she wanted to believe in her kitty but finding out he was Adrien had been the last straw.

As Adrien, he had remained passive in the face of injustice many times. He had rarely if ever taken any real action in stopping Chloe’s behavior and he seemed to be taking the same approach with Lila. She understood that Gabriel definitely was partly to blame for his skewed worldview, but Adrien had been going to public school for 4 years now. He had been present for multiple mental health awareness assemblies and they had even appeared together as Ladybug and Chat in an anti-bullying PSA a couple years ago. It honestly baffled her that he still truly believed that the high road method could work.

Simply put, she just couldn't trust him to act as a hero anymore. She made a plan, but for it to work she needed help.

Well she had been planning to expand team Miraculous anyways, but this gave her the perfect chance to set those plans into motion. Marinette needed people she could work well with and she just happened to know three people who would make perfect teammates. Luka had already been appearing as Viperion more as Chat showed up to less fights, so the only real change was that Sass would get to go home with him at the end of the day. Chloe had been a bit harder seeing as all of Paris knew she had been Queen Bee, but Marinette was nothing if not determined. After a couple of weeks of her working with Chloe and Pollen on a new suit design, Abeille Royale was born. The finishing touch was Chloe and the new hero to be spotted near each other in public with some assistance from Trixx and they were good to go. Which just left Kagami.

Her original plan had been similar for the one she had for Chloe, but then she remembered something. To preserve balance the Miraculous of destruction needed to remain active, which meant she needed a new black cat. Now she could have jumped in front of oncoming traffic to see who saved her, but she was not willing to test her luck that much even with the boost Tikki gave her. This meant she needed to pick someone she already trusted. She didn't see a Chloe/Plagg team up going well for anyone involved so that was gonna be a hard no. Luka would have possibly worked, but the power of the snake was just too valuable of an asset to take off the roster. But Kagami? Now that would work.

While it was true that Kagami was much more well suited for the dragon, she would still work well as the black cat. She enjoyed a bit of chaos, but was disciplined enough to not be dragged into any of Plagg’s crazier ideas. She also understood the responsibility of holding such a powerful item, not one to take such a duty lightly. After talking with her about it Kagami had accepted the position becoming Kuro Neko.

After that they just had to get the ring back which was surprisingly easy. As Chat didn't know that she had given out more Miraculous again, she just had to wait for him to show up to a patrol. She played distraction and Abeille snuck up behind him with a venom, freezing him as she took back the ring. Finally, she cast a spell that would prevent him from sharing anything about him being Chat Noir as a safety measure. While he may not have as much knowledge about the miraculous as her, he did have some information and she was not going to risk letting Hawkmoth get his hands on any of it. And with that problem solved she finally had her team.

And from there things got a bit easier, with an actual team helping her and the seeming disappearance of Mayura akuma fights began to end way quicker and it felt like they were slowly making progress towards finding Hawkmoth. 

But when can things ever stay that nice?

                                                          ----------

Again, Marinette was no stranger to bad days but coupled with the week she had been having so far her patience was wearing thin.

Earlier that week, Chloe had shown up to the bakery in near tears. After calming down she shared the news that her Mother was going back to the states on Thursday, which while a bummer wasn't the issue. The issue was that she was bringing Chloe with her. While the blonde was happy to be getting time with her Mom, she didn’t want to abandon her team. Marinette assured her that while she wouldn't be able to be on the front lines anymore, she didn't have to quit the team. Seeing as the young heiress was scarily organised (perhaps even more than Marinette) She could continue to remotely assemble case files on each akuma and keeping tabs on any possible leads to Hawkmoth's identity. In addition, the city Chloe was moving to seemed to have heroes with ties to the justice league so they could finally try to get help again since they never responded to the video messages Ladybug sent at the beginning of her hero career. She had no idea how news of the akumas never made it out of France, but she suspected it was a mix of magic and corrupt officials. The plan was to have Abeille track down the heroes and explain the situation, with Ladybug teleporting in if necessary, and to establish a line of communication between them while requesting assistance.

From there the rest of the week was spent with the four friends enjoying as much time as possible together before their bee had to fly an ocean away. Kagami and Chloe also finally admitted their feelings for each other and while long distance isn't easy, they were going to try and make it work. And if Marinette lent out Kaalki every once in awhile? Well nobody had to know. If anything it was her duty as future maid of honor.

But still Thursday came and tears were shed as Chloe got ready to board her private jet. As hard as it was they stayed and watched as she took off, before all heading back to their respective homes.

Which brings us to today, the first day of school Marinette would have to endure without Chloe.

The day started off well enough, She woke up on her first alarm for once which gave her plenty of time to do some morning meditation before getting ready and heading down to the bakery and grabbing breakfast. She enjoyed a small croissant and some fruit while catching up her parents and helping out here and there before heading out to school.

Which is when her day began to sour. 

First she ‘tripped’ over somebody's foot while heading up the front stairs. Then in English, it was announced that they would have a partner assignment and she was paired with Alya, her former best friend who now hates her guts. At least it wasn't Lila. Alya tried to get switched on the grounds of ‘not wanting to work with a bully’ but partner assignments were final so the red haired girl settled for glaring at her throughout the class leading up to their lunch hour.

Things didn't get much better after lunch either. She came back to class early to avoid bumping into Lila’s group in the courtyard only to come face to face with the liar minutes later when the girl came to the back of the class and ‘spilled’ her iced coffee on the designer’s sketchbook. On the bright side, Marinette only ever brought a travel book with her to school after the first time this kind of thing happened. It was still annoying to clean up though.

After that, the rest of the school day went by mostly without incident. There were a couple of little jabs from her former friends here and there but nothing she wasn't already used to.

Eventually the final bell rang and she breathed a sigh of relief. She had a new bath bomb waiting for her at home and she was excited to use it. But first she had to get out of school without having to interact any further with her classmates, which turned out to be easier said than done.

Adrien decided to invite himself to walk her home, which meant she was due for another speech about the high road. She honestly wasn't even sure what she did this time and she didn’t really care to find out.

These talks had become such a regular occurrence that she tended to just kind of zone him out as he followed her home. It was kind of impressive that his bodyguard never came for him, maybe Gabriel gave in and loosened the leash after Nathalie quit? She was a bit surprised he still hadn’t found a replacement considering it must be quite difficult to run such a large company when you never leave your house but she supposed that's what technology is for.

Eventually, they reached the bakery and the bluenette was free at last. She even took the side entrance that led directly into the apartment stairs so that Adrien couldn't follow her in. She may have been a little petty in closing the door a bit harder than necessary, but she didn't really have the energy to care at that point.

The rest of her evening went by in relative peace. She had already caught up on homework over lunch and it was a slow time of year for commissions, so she helped out in the bakery until after dinner.

After telling her parents good night, she went to go enjoy her bath. Just as she went to go unwrap her fancy bath bomb, her room began to shake, causing the bath bomb to fall from her hands and shatter on the floor. Before she could even process the poor cherry-blossom scented bombs fate, the akuma alarm sounded. While that explained her room shaking, having to fight hawkmoths fashion disaster of choice really wasn’t how she wanted to end her already crappy day. Nevertheless, she walked back into her bedroom, slightly grateful  that she hadn't actually gotten in the bathtub yet, and called for Tikki.

Tikki, who was already waiting after hearing the akuma alarm flew over and gave her the rundown on what had been in the alert.

“It seems to be a new akuma, powers are unknown but they're headed for the Eiffel tower, Kuro Neko and Viperion are already on the scene since it was their night for patrol anyways.” the small Kwami informed her.

Marinette sighed in resignation. New akumas were always a bit of a pain. Not knowing the enemies powers and weaknesses was dangerous, not to mention it made the battle drag out a good bit longer than one against a repeat. Her work wasn't over after the battle though. The next day she would need to assemble all of the information regarding the battle, track down and conduct an interview with the victim about what led up to their possession, and send it all over to Chloe so that she can assemble a case file. 

Accepting the fact that she likely was not going to get much sleep that night, The heroine got into fight mode.

“Tikki spots on!”

And with that, she swung off into the night.

-------------------------------------------

Well well well look who finally got around to cross-posting this asdfg, anyways I hope you enjoyed chapter 1!! I have 5 chapters up on ao3 at the moment so I’ll probably post one a day here until I'm caught up so that I'm not spamming the tag on accident.

Oh also!! I'm not really sure how tag lists work but I will try my best to figure it out so if you wanna be included in that just reply and say so.

[pl-panda]

The vines that bind us - Chapter 2

Chapter 1 || Next

-----

Until a trip to Gotham came knocking on the front doors

“I can’t believe Lie-la of all people managed to somehow get us the trip to Gotham!” Mari moaned with a mixed expression on her face.

Adrien, who was walking next to them, showed absolute disgust. “Technically, It was my father and I that did the heavy lifting. She really wanted to go to the Wayne Gala and…”

“What Lie-la wants, Lie-la gets.” The three finished in unison before laughing a bit. 

“Don’t worry Mari-bear. I can promise you that this no good liar won’t get to ruin your return home.” Chloe pulled her best friend closer. Best friend. Much better than a servant. Who would’ve thought? “And we can even try to find your mom on free Saturday.”

“Yeah…” The girl with black-blue hair didn’t seem particularly cheerful at that. 

“Now I refuse to have you making sad faces throughout the whole flight. You cheer up right this moment and that’s an order!” The blonde commanded. 

“Yes, Maman-bear.” Mari giggled.

The three of them finally arrived at the rest of the class, who were already gathered around madame Bustier. Of course, Lila was bragging about a million different things, but the three paid her no mind. Adrien did his best to hide behind the girls, cherishing the last moments of freedom. Finally, Mari and Chloe had to step forward for their tickets. The blonde got hers without any problem, but for Mari there turned out to be none.

“I’m so so sorry Marinette!” Lila said with fake regret. “I must have accidentally miscounted the number of students… It must’ve been when I was helping those poor orphans. You know, at…”

“Sure…” Mari didn’t even try to act as if she believed her for a moment. When Lila scowled, realizing that it didn’t affect the girl, she smiled. “I guess Chlo, Adrien and I will have to go with the contingency plan number 1.” 

“What?!” The sausage-hair shouted.

“Of course my Daddy would not send us to travel like peasants. We have tickets for the first class.” Chloe supplied, looking smugly. “We did plan to maybe sit with the rest of the class. What a shame…”

“Yeah, My dad also didn’t want me to travel anything less, but I convinced him to let me stay with my friends. Guess he will get what he wanted in the end.” For his part, Adrien at least tried to look apologetic. He didn’t try hard at all, but it’s the thought that counts, right?

“But… But…” Lila tried to come up with something, likely a lie, to counter it. She didn’t have time as the trio handed their teacher the filled forms from their parents/guardians/Nathalie and proceeded to the plane. The tickets were personal, so she couldn’t do anything. The Italian girl came up with a lie to tell to the class, but it would do no good until they landed. 

--------

“Did you see her face?” Plagg was rolling in the air while holding a giant roll of camembert. 

“You were amazing my queen.” Pollen complimented. 

“I still can’t believe your dad just… bought out the whole first class!” Marinette sighed. 

“Phi! Daddy always gives me only the best. You should know it by now, Mari-bear.”

“Okay. Mari. You are the Gotham expert here. Any advice?” Adrien asked a bit more seriously. 

“Gotham survival guide is probably unlike any other city.” She started. “The first rule is, believe it or not, run away if a person laughs too much or smiles too widely. The downside of living in the same city as the Joker is that most people don’t laugh in public. Secondly, never show that you are lost. Wherever you are, it’s exactly where you wanted to be. Finally, the third is to never flaunt your wealth.” She looked critically at Chloe before taking away her purse and lipstick in a golden case. “This,” She then pulled a mobile phone in a ridiculously sparkly case and popped it out of the cover, “this,” finally, she detached the golden chain on which the purse was supposed to be suspended and replaced it with a pre-prepared white one with copper clips, “and this must all go away.” 

“Ridiculous! Utterly Ridiculous! Now it will totally clash with my comb!” Chloe complained.

“Oh no! How will you ever survive that?” Mari deadpanned. All three of them had another burst of laughter. After they calmed, Adrien started.

“Do you think it’s wrong that I want to bet which rule will Lila break first?”

“Ten macaroons she will say out-loud about money.” Mari threw. 

“I raise, four tea parties she will start by asking for direction.” Chloe had a grin on her face

“Are you sure?” Adrien asked. When the blonde nodded, he shrugged. “Movie night and double popcorn bowl refill that she will do both in one conversation.”

“Hi, could you be so kind to point me to my exclusive hotel? You know, I’m staying at the penthouse of this luxurious new one.” Mari gave a quite good parody of Lilia. 

“So to sum up, the pool is now ten Macaroons, Four Tea parties, and movie night with triple popcorn?” Chloe asked. When they nodded, she quickly noted it on her phone. 

“Now, who wants a movie? I think they have the newest Thomas Astruck one.” Adrien pulled a disc from the container next to his seat.

“Good for me!/Go!” The girls said. Chloe, who was in the middle loaded it and the other two leaned onto her to watch together. The three were happy. Faintly in the background, there was knocking on the doors to their part, but nobody paid attention to very angry Liela and some classmates. For some reason, the doors were stuck and the blinder rolled down. Later if someone asked, Pollen would deny everything. 

------------

When the plane landed, the class was practically kicked out. The team walked calmly down the stairs, all of them having smug expressions. Lila wanted to comment, but a glare from Mme. Bustier shut her up quickly. Mari and co. would later try to guess, what got the crew so pissed at their classmates.

Once everyone was accounted for, the class made its way to the customs to retrieve their luggage. There was a small problem with Mari’s travel bag as it was apparently misplaced to the flight to Timbuktu, but luckily her true suitcase, which had her things inside, arrived safely. She giggled at the thought of custom office in Timbuktu receiving a bag full of Adrien’s old socks that smelled camembert. 

Overall, the airport went mostly unproblematic. At least until they found themselves cleared and gathered in one place while Mme Bustier left to check on their bus. One of the men, wearing a dark blue suit started to laugh almost maniacally. Everybody immediately cleared away from him, out of sheer self-preservation. Lila must’ve decided that a show of kindness was a good way to regain class’ good grace. She was confidently approaching the man before suddenly Mari grabbed her and pulled her away. The designer might’ve despised the liar, but Joker… you don’t mess with Joker. 

Of course, Lila used the chance. She faked falling on the ground and started crying crocodile tears. “Marinette?! How can you be so heartless? I wanted *sniff* to check on the man and you trip me?” Lila sniffled, eyes watering with crocodile tears.

“I might have saved your life genius!” Mari snapped. Joker was a really touchy subject with her. “Does the world Killer Clown mean something?”

“Don’t invent things, you bully!” Alya shouted. That seemed to break the dam and at once the class started to say awful things to Mari. A year ago, it would hurt her. Half a year ago, she would be sad. Now? Now she pitied them. Chloe didn’t, and she was ready to jump to protect her best friend. 

“Ridiculous! Do you like… share a single brain cell? What if that man was…” she didn’t get to finish because Mme. Bustier returned. The commotion immediately calmed. By now the man stopped laughing and returned to talking with his friends.

“The bus is waiting. Come on children. Follow me.”

----------------

Arriving at the hotel, the class was split into different rooms. Of course, Lila tried to lie her way into some privilege, but Mari was too dead inside to care. The Jet Lag was killing her. At least she got some sleep on the plane. From the rumors she heard from the class, they didn’t because of Lila’s drama with the staff. 

“Now I want you all to be ready here at eight a.m. sharp. A Wayne Enterprises representative will come here to explain the details of internships.” Mme. Bustier instructed them. This, for some reason, caused outrage in students.

“What do you mean internships?!”

“Wayne Enterprises?”

“Shouldn’t we be preparing to go to Gotham Academy or something?”

The terrible trio in the back had trouble holding back laugher. Adrien warned the girls about what his father planned, so they could all prepare. Gabriel Agreste, devious as he is, decided to punish Lila and teach Adrien something about running a company at the same time and using his connections to put the class up for an internship at WE. He did send the liar all the details, but she must have skimmed over the corporate jargon because the class was fed overexaggerated stories about what they would and wouldn’t do during two months trip. 

Most parents were more than happy to send their children away from Paris for two months, especially since the Internship was free and the employment rate after it was quite high. WE kept quite a lot of the interns, if only out of habit. But perhaps it was mostly because the class has become a go-to place for the Akuma. Only Mr. Pidgeon and perhaps Gigantitan were akumatized more often. Mari actually picked up to cleansing their class weekly through a ritual she learned, otherwise there would be enough residual dark energy to power a demon portal. Not something one would want in the middle of a classroom.

“I was told you’ve all read the brochure provided and Lila summarised it for you.”

“I did!” The sausage hair defended. “Marinette must have told them some imaginary story about the trip!”

Immediately, several other people started to nod and confirm this. Chloe actually started to walk toward the liar almost red, but Mari grabbed the back of her blazer and held her in place. All the while she had a completely deadpan expression like it was normal for her (it was).

Mme. Bustier sighed. “Well, In that case, I will…”

“Excuse me, but shouldn’t we be going to sleep today already? We don’t want to be late tomorrow.” Adrien asked with an innocent expression, but there was some satisfaction hidden there too.

“Well… um… I…”

“We will be going then.” Chloe grabbed the key and led Mari to their room. Calline didn’t even question it. She wanted a pay raise after this. 

-----------

The next morning, Mari was woken by a frantic Chloe

“Mari-bear! It’s already late! You don’t want to be late for your first day of Internship girl! It would be utterly Ridiculous!” 

At first, the girl mumbled something, but once she finally processed everything she leaped out of her bed and started getting ready in record time. She was brushing her teeth, packing her purse, and tossing clothes at her best friend all at once. Once she had everything, she turned to see Chloe on the ground tied with a gray blazer. Mari just burst out laughing.

“How…”

“Ridiculous!” Chloe shook her head. “I demand you untie me this instant! We don’t have time for this!”

Once they dressed and did their hair, both girls were ready. Chloe now had a black button-down shirt, deep red blazer, and a matching pencil skirt. Mari also made her wear smart black stilettos (instead of her usual that were slightly more extravagant). The look was completed by a tablet in leather flip-over cover. Mari had a similar outfit, except her shirt was white and the suit was in dark blue. She opted for flat shoes to spare the embarrassment that was Marigold on heels.

“Ready to rock Gotham City?”

“Like you have to ask.” Mari smiled. There was something about the city of crime that made her feel safe and open up more. Maybe being on home turf gave her the much-needed confidence boost. 

When Chloe tried to open the doors, she found them stuck. She was about to go on a rant about poor quality when Mari casually grabbed the doorknob and twisted it. There was a faint creaking sound as the mechanism gave.

“Um…”

“It must’ve been old,” Chloe said with a devious grin. “Nothing happened. Don’t you worry! I will deal with it.”

---------------

When the doors to the elevator opened and two girls strode into the lobby, their class was already pushing toward the exit. Adrien looked very much uncomfortable with Lila hanging off his arm, literally sinking her claws into him. He mouthed them a muted ‘later’. Alya stared at the girls with loathing. 

“Ah, you are here.” Mme. Bustier spoke. “Lila said…”

“Whatever.” Chloe dismissed their teacher. “Aren’t we in rush?” The blonde practically seethed the last word. 

“Yes, good to see that someone is responsible.” The teacher gave Mari a pointed look. Apparently, she still didn’t get over the fact that she resigned from the class rep position. 

“But…”

“Drop it. She is not worth it.” Chloe whispered. “Daddy will take care of that once we are done.”

Mari just nodded. She knew Chloe was preparing a lawsuit against the school, but their hands were tied until they graduated or Damocles could try and undermine it. Both girls knew that no adult would help them with the lawsuit beyond Chloe’s father signing whatever dotted line she asked him to. That man was more whipped than a fresh can of whipped cream. 

The ride to the WE was short and uneventful. Girls took up to gossiping in English, effectively limiting any eavesdropping. Mari spent most of the time tearing down the outfits of all the villains. She started with Riddler, more as a joke than actual rant, but then she somehow got onto this new guy Anarky. From there, she just kept on, smoothly sailing from one to the next. Even her mom got some shots. Mari still couldn’t stand how skimpy it was. Her rant carried over when they exited the bus and entered the WE. Security led them to a conference room, where they were told to take seats. 

Mari guessed that it wouldn’t be Lila if she didn’t immediately start sputtering lies about how well she knew the building already because of her Damiboo giving her private tours (All while clutching Adrien like a leech). She didn’t have enough ducks left to give to try to expose Lila about several facts. Such as that Damian Wayne definitely wasn’t living with Bruce when he was five. Any Gothamite could tell her that. Bored, she returned to her rant. 

She was nearing the end of the list and was very much engaged in complimenting Harley Queen for her recent change in wardrobe. She still considered it a disaster, but at least it was somehow human. 

“Ekhm…” A voice broke her out of the rant. “Good morning. My name is Richard Grayson. You are the french class chosen for the internship program, correct?” When people nodded, he continued. Idly, Mari noted that Alya and Lila stiffened and suddenly stopped talking at all. “We reviewed the individual profiles and appointed each of you a mentor that will help you settle into your roles. As I read the names, please come forward so I can update your badges. Do carry them on your person all the time or we will have to take you to our human cloning facility.”

People stared at him. 

“Okaaay… That’s that about jokes…” He sighed. “The rules will be explained by individual departments. Now, who’s up for a tour?” 

People started to cheer at that and Dick smiled. Maybe it wouldn’t be that bad?

-----------------

It was that bad. Even worse. He knew from the background check that the class was both insanely talented… and borderline criminal. It was like someone de-aged the Rogues and put them in one class. The report called them Akuma class, which (if google is to be believed) meant demons. He questioned how they got accepted into the internship. 

They only toured two floors when Dick wanted to tear half of them to shreds. He noted immediately that they were bullying the girl with black (slightly blue? Maybe it was dyed?) hair. What surprised him was that the teacher didn’t react. If he was to be honest, the girl and her friend slightly irritated him too. They kept talking and seemed to ignore him. It was not because they kept tearing down each and every bats’ fashion choices. Definitely not that. When they brought up Discowing he had enough. 

“Ekhm. Excuse me, girls,” he stared at them. Both immediately stopped talking and looked at him. “Could you pay attention? I wouldn’t want any of you to waste your internship lost on our maze-testing floor.”

“There is no maze-testing floor in this building.” The blonde pointed out.

“And besides, we memorized all you’ve said.”

“Care to recall?” He heard several people groan at his pun.

“The first floor is most representative, where guests are welcome and low-level meetings happen. There is a separate kitchen for employers there that is always fresh on fruits. Don’t use the coffee machine there as it was only patched up and there is a high chance it will set itself on fire again. The…”

“Fine. You’re good. Still, I don’t appreciate the chatter.”

“They are always trouble!” A girl in bright pink colors shouted. 

“Yeah! Why do you have to ruin this trip for Lila!?”

“You’re just jealous of her boyfriend!”

More voices like this came from the crowd of kids. Dick started to feel bad that he singled the girls out. It definitely gave the class a reason to gang up on them. And the teacher still did nothing! He sighed. What did HR think when they accepted them. He would have to look into it later.

--------------

Mari decided that she didn’t like Dick. Everyone in their class kept talking, but for some reason, he singled them out. For the rest of the trip, she made sure to pay as much attention as she could. There was this silent determination on her face. Chloe wisely also kept silent. 

After the trip class was led back to the conference room where another employer handed out the identificators and folders containing their assignments. 

“Keep the IDs on you at all times. As opposed to the ones you received, this won’t expire and are synched with your jobs, so you will have access to anything you might need. They are also mandatory to receive lunch in our canteen. When you get acquainted with your tasks, you can go to the level specified at the end of sheet one. Your mentor will meet you there.” With that, he left. Dick really needed to do some in-depth research on this class. Something kept icking his detective sense.

“Well, I’m going to the law department. Apparently whoever made the assignments knew my well.” Chloe bragged to her friend after opening the folder. 

Timidly, Mari also opened her folder. She skimmed over what was inside and groaned. “Apparently, I’m interning as personal assistant to one Tim Drake.”

“They actually assigned you to the sleep-deprived coffee addict?” Chloe asked in disbelief.

“You know him?” She asked in surprise

“He and his brother ruined my daddy’s parties two years ago. They got into an argument that ended up with them wrestling over a cake. It took me weeks to get the cake out of my hair! Weeks!” The blonde summarized.

“oh…” Mari tried to hold back the giggles.

“Don’t laugh! It’s a serious matter! Do you have any idea how much work it takes to have such a perfect hair?!”

“Of course… cakehead.” The girl couldn’t stop herself.

“Ugh, you… you… plant leg.” Chloe said.

“Really?” Mari raised an eyebrow. “That’s the best you can come with?”

“Well, I usually have better things to do than thinking about good insults.” Still, Chloe hugged her best friend. “Be careful. I wouldn’t put it past The Liar to try and sabotage you somehow.”

“I’ll be careful. Wish me luck.”

-----

The elevator took Mari all the way to the highest floor. When the doors opened, she stepped int a large room with one desk. As soon as the doors closed, the woman who was standing there rushed toward her. The girl tensed for a moment but she reminded herself that there is no real threat.

“Oh finally! I was asking them to hire someone else for months!” She had a messed bun of red hair on her head and looked like she didn’t sleep in a week.

“But… I’m just an intern madame!” Mari tried to explain.

“An intern?” The woman paused her packing and stared at the girl with wide eyes.

“Um… Madame Sarah Jackson?” 

“Yes. An intern…” She said in a disappointed voice to herself. “Ah! That’s no problem at all!” She started to tap on her Waynetech Tablet and after a moment she smiled. “There! You’re hired!”

“Wha…?!” Mari shouted, but was interrupted when Sarah pushed the tablet into her hand, followed by a large box full of documents and a small mug with a coffee bean pointing a gun at the reader and words ‘Your Coffee or your life!’.

“They are your problem now! Everything you need is in the box. I left detail about ongoing stuff and whatever you might need. Don’t call. I’m outta here!” She shouted before grabbing her personal belonging and leaping into the elevator.

“But…! But…!?” Mari shouted after the closing doors. She could hear a cheerful shout as the elevator left the level. 

--------------------------------------

Next

[taetaesource]

Acting with Kim Seon Ho

I might come up with a full fic of the drama. 

You started out as a idol trainee but never debuted but became an actress instead. Although you are not very young, korean age 29 and Seon Ho is 35. You didn’t star in many dramas and was not as popular as names like suzy and park shin hye. In this sense, you are alot like Kim Seon Ho before he hit it big with Start Up. 

You did not grow up in korea and speak better in english than korean. You’re friends with the korean-american celeb community like BM, Jessi, Eric. Your best friend is Blackpink’s Rose because you guys met during trainee days as a music school and later reconnected at a private Tiffany&Co event. 

You are under Starship ent which is a fairly big company with actors like Lee dongwook so your skills isn’t too far off and in general you land in scripts and channels that are not too bad. 

You got an offer from the writer who wrote Crash Landing On You and upon reading script and much discussion with the company, you decided to take this up. 

You learn that the production team is trying their best to get Kim Seon Ho to be the male lead and you felt honoured and at the same time pressured. You really wished to have him as your partner in this drama because you knew that he was talented, but you also wanted to keep your hopes low because you knew that he was booked left right centre and he has many scripts and projects flooding in. 

The storyline of the drama was also one reason why you kept your hopes low. 

The drama centers around the female (which is your role) whose husband requested for a divorce as he fell in love with a co-worker who is a headstrong career woman. The female lead tries to salvage her marriage by entering into the company that her husband and his mistress works in and struggles her way into the workforce after being a housewife for 10 years. 

The truth is, you were deliberating very hard as to whether this role was suitable for you as it is quite a leap from the usual roles and it might change the image that you have in the public eyes. For the male lead, this change is an even bigger risk and now that Seon ho is getting more popular, you were pretty sure there’s 60% chance he would reject the offer so as to keep his image. 

But the script was interesting as it portrayed third party and affairs in a different light and the characters were complex so this would take your acting skills to a new level. With that, you decided to take on the challenge despite the risk that you might not be offered dramas in future that were of younger romantic comedy genre since you will be remembered as an actress that played mum and divorcee. 

To your surprise, Seon ho took on the role as well. And the reason you heard of is that he felt that the script is compelling and he wanted to challenge himself in a new role. 

The other female actress who will play the role of the third party is Son Na eun of Apink and you thought that she was a good fit for the role too. 

The day of drama reading, Seon ho was the last to arrive and he was so apologetic about it. He was polite and greeted everybody with his big dimple smile. It was his first time meeting you and Naeun so the 3 of you were quite awkward and unfamiliar. 

When filming officially started, you were so busy preparing and translating your lines and practicing them that you felt very pressured. As the drama was produced by the team behind the hit success Crash Landing and also featuring the current hot actor Kim seon ho, it was also highly anticipated and everyone was looking forward to the drama to air. 

The filming process was also tiring as the tone of the drama is quite serious and sad compared to a light-hearted love drama or comedy. But to your surprise the filming was quite enjoyable mainly because seon ho is very easy to work with and also very professional. 

Even though he must have been very tired as the shoot is often in between his other projects like 2 Days 1 Night and his other pictorials and advertisement shoots, he rarely screws up his part and came prepared with his lines so there won’t many retakes. He is also very bubbly and cheerful, making the filming atmosphere livelier and friendlier. 

The chemistry between you and him hit off better than expected as well. You enjoyed his sometimes awkward jokes, you could follow up with this ad-libs and both of you saw eye-to-eye when it comes to how the both of you should act certain scenes to bring out certain message or emotions. 

You usually speak to your staff and manager in english which would leave the total korean boy seon ho in awe. And you always joke that the hardest part about this drama is that you have to pretend that you dont understand english as you are supposed to play the role of a clueless housewife who became an intern in a top company. And Naeun who doesn’t understand english has to play the role of your manager who is capable and good at presentations and reports in english. 

When the drama air, the public had good response and the chemistry between you and seon ho became recognised just as how people were speculating that Hyun Bin and Son Ye jin are definitely dating. 

The both of you were not at the dating stage yet because seon ho is so busy. And his personality is so friendly that he usually maintain a very amicable relationship with everybody so you established that the both of you are just very good colleagues that managed to become friends outside of work.   

To your surprise, seon ho called you one day - “chae young ahhh” he repeated and emphasized “chae young” a few times which was not your real name but the name of your character in the drama so you kind of had the sense to reply “oh yeobo”, which absolutely pleased him. Turns out it was a call from seon ho while filming 2 days 1 night. He was on a mission and he had to prove that he wasn’t lying when he said on the show that the both of you had good chemistry so choosing you to call to help him in the mission is the best person. You had to make a guess of the option his group chose in order for them to pass and be given lunch. The way you answered the call has already made a great impression to the team and the 2d1n members were all impressed by the chemistry you had with seon ho. You also passed the game round and they were saying that you should drop by the show as a guest as the next week, they will have to bring a female guest who are also their good friend to help them in the episode. 

Your company is rather particular about their artistes appearing on variety shows and it’s only after they screened the other female guests and realised that the rest are mostly comedians, that they allowed you to be on the show and the instruction was that you have to maintain your image. 

It was easy as the members and everyone in the team treated you like a princess in comparison to the 2 female comedians so as to make the show funnier. And seon ho especially took care of you as well even outside of the filming. 

He introduced you to the actor yeon jung hoon who was on the show and in between breaks you were able to consult him about some concerns that you have, especially since you are juggling 2 dramas. 

Towards the halfway mark of the drama filming with seon ho, you were offered another drama, a love story drama with a younger actor this time Seo Kang Joon. As the new drama is a typical courtship and love story drama, you were afraid that the way you act might not be able to draw a difference that well that the audience will be able to see the shadow of the divorced wife character that you are playing in the other drama. 

Jung hoon adviced that every role will have some kind of resemblance because it all came from you. It’s impossible to always present a totally original and fresh character without some resemblance here and there. But maybe if we see the resemblance as the actor’s style and essence, then you wouldnt feel so pressured to draw the distinction between all the roles that you act in. 

This scene was aired on 2d1n and it helped the public to see your professionalism and seriousness that you have towards acting. 

You also helped the team by giving a call to Blackpink’s Rose. Rose answered the call with “heyyy what’s up” which excited the members even more as they didn’t expect the both of you to use english as main form of communication. 

You were also good friends with Park Yuna who got famous from her role in Sky Castle and she also played the role of Bo young who is your sister in the drama with seon ho. Yuna was also an idol trainee previously which is why the both of you clicked so fast. 

The drama with Seo Kang Joon was a success too but of course both dramas did not do as well as Start-Up and Crash Landing but in your terms it was successful as people were talking about it and it was the more popular dramas among the rest that were airing as well. 

The chemistry between you and seon ho stood out even more as nobody really talked about seo kang joon and you having chemistry in that way. 

Very quickly, you were offered a movie role and the male lead they were offering it to kim seon ho again. This time, the storyline was less sad as it was about a man and woman who took a break from their current life and went to Jeju island as an escape, met and fell in love there. Seon ho’s character broke up with his long-term girlfriend while your character left her job after being there for 8 years. And the both of you met in Jeju. 

Many people were speculating if the both of you were dating, especially since dispatch released pictures of the both of you coming out of a convenience store together on your off days. And when your agency checked with you, you said no because technically seon ho has never officially asked you out. But somehow you felt a little bitter when you heard from your management that seon ho’s side has also denied the dating rumours. 

But netizens were quite supportive especially because the pictures taken were candid shots of how the both of you played with each other. Seon ho offered to hold your plastic bag but you lifted it like how you would lift dumbbells to joke with him that you didnt need his help and he was laughing so hard. Most comments that people have after seeing the pictures is that the both of you are so cute and pure. 

But because the pictures were exposed by dispatch, it made you and seon ho a little uncomfortable in front of public setting. Like the both of you had to attend the movie premiere and it was awkward to be standing together in front of the reporters and cameras as the both of you know that everyone in the room has seen the pictures and may or may not ask about your relationship status. You are not sure if it’s even more uncomfortable if they dont talk about the white elephant in the room. But the both of you were obviously less chummy that day, keeping a distance and avoiding eye contact as much as possible. Which led to people speculating that the rumours has caused you guys to break up. 

But you were still in contact with each other in private, just that you two did not meet in person since then. It was after few months that the both of you met again and it was at drama awards. It felt less uncomfortable and awkward maybe because the both of you were more overwhelmed by the excitement of seeing each other again after so long that you two didn’t really care whether people will ask if you guys are dating again. 

Another heart fluttering moment was when the mc asked if any of you felt something for the other person that you were acting alongside with, and the both of you raised your hands shyly and blushed when you both realised that both of you raised your hands. 

When seon ho went on stage to claim the best actor award, you stood up and clap proudly. And the mc jokingly asked since the both of you raised your hands just now, are you guys dating for real already? Seon ho laughed this time and said “don’t worry i will let you guys know if there’s good news” making everyone excited with his ambiguous answer and you could only laugh and facepalm in embarassment. 

Eventually, dispatch released articles of insider saying that 2 actors who have acted together recently in drama and movie are dating and it pointed to you and seon ho again. 

You talked to your agency, wondering if the best way is to deny it again because you know that couples that admit their relationship usually end up breaking up. And couples who stay together usually become less active or don’t have many projects up ahead. Plus seon ho’s career is at his peak now, he wouldn’t want to risk anything and he might not even have the time to keep this relationship going. 

But your management got the news that seon ho’s side is okay to admit to it if you are okay with it and that shocked you. You didn’t expect him to want to keep this relationship more than his career. But to seon ho, he doesn’t see how his career will go down just because of this. And his fame was a sudden one, he was never famous before that and he was okay with it. 

Your management was also quite relaxed about this. It seems that you are the only one thinking too much into this. Eventually you realised that it was all in your head. 

The next day all the news outlet were reporting - “BREAKING: Actor Kim Seon Ho and Y/N is in a relationship”. 

[hoochy-coo]

I feel so bad for Bella. I thought Abel couldn’t go any lower than this one song where he sung about never loving her in the first place, or that one time where he exposed her as a freak, or that one time where - nevermind actually I knew he would. But this one - writting about her ´ cheating on her bf emotionally with him and where he can have her back whenever ‘ bc it is what it looks like is beyond me LMAO. I’m sorry but is he even serious? But actually I kinda do feel bad for him as well because he’s clearly OBSESSED with her, truly seems like he’s the one who will never let go and I do understand that getting over Bella must be hard as fck. But please, can he just let her breath once like - he will never be able to come back from that anyway 1/2

“- The only way I could EVER see them going back together is if he own up to his shit first, go see a therapist, get treated for his addictions ( he talked about not being on drugs anymore I truly hope this is true for him. ) because I believe Bella must have at least tried but it seems like it never really worked. Proves her that he can loves and treat her right, show sign of emotional maturity, ( this one seems like it would take an eternity) and public apologies for all the shit he’s been putting her through. And that will basically never happen LMAO. No doubt Bella loved him like nobody else, probably still has a special place in her heart but love is not always enough.”

On one hand, I do think Abel is obsessed with her (like at this point, it seems like that used to be mutual but now she’s moved on and he’s shook that she actually did lol). On the other hand, I think he understands that any hints at their relationship will get the people and the media talking so he’s milking it for all its worth under the guise of ‘artistic license’ when it’s obvious to anyone who’s half kept up with their saga of a romance that he’s talking about her in all these songs. Writing/singing about her in ‘After Hours’ seemed fair to me, because that’s very obviously meant to be a breakup album and he was already working on the project during their last (and hopefully final) reunion as well as after. HOWEVER, he kept saying to the press (and in the actual songs on the project) that it’s supposed to be final chapter to that relationship so idk why he’s now dragging it along to the next era as well. This is probably just wishful thinking but MTAF is technically not his song so maybe this is one of the loosies he’s recycling to bide his time between the end of AH and the beginning of The Dawn.

Tbh we should applaud Bella for her grace to never publicly hit back at him and her patience for dealing with his bs. I also think a part of her probably doesn’t want to burn that bridge because he’s her first love. In terms of the narrative Abel is pushing about her still contacting him to this very day, I don’t buy it but I can believe that they were on friendly terms at one point before she got serious (aka went public) with her current bf.

[skiller0dani]

L’amour De Ma Vie | Timothee Chalamet

M A S T E R L I S T

smut  requests info wanna be on a Timmy taglist? click here missed part 1? read it here

so I did my Billy Mitman thing. please let me know what you think as the chapters come out, I’m so nervous about it. love you babes xx  I’m running out of ideas, please send me requests l m a o 

btw I used google translate for the french bits don’t come at me if it’s incorrect. Timmy isn’t here to write the french parts for me :(  the translation will be located next to the french, italicized and in quotation marks. 

I listened to ‘La Vie En Rose’ by Chloe Moriondo during writing this. is perfectly captures the mood I was going for. 

Catch Up! Read Part One Here!

Public relationships are hard to maintain, with all the attention and expectations. 

The media and even fans expect the relationship to progress at a certain rate, and when Tim was dating Lily-Rose Depp, everyone was waiting for him to propose. But he wasn’t ready for that. Still isn’t. He wasn’t sure if it’s him that’s not ready or if it was the person. It’s not that Lily had done anything wrong, she didn’t. It was all Tim. Whatever he currently had with you was a huge relief, nobody even knew you existed in his life, not even his parents. Not Armie, not his family, not anybody. Tim wasn’t keeping you a secret because he was ashamed, no it wasn’t that. He needs a secret right now, something just for him and you. Something he could hide away in, and while he didn’t intend on meeting you when he’d gone to the club he can say meeting you was exactly what he needed. Tim did have to do some damage control during interviews when asked about the ‘mysterious girl’ he was seen exiting the club with that night. 

Tim always said you were an old friend, he said he hadn’t even seen you since. That it was a huge coincidence that he even ran into you. That’s not true of course, Tim sees you every single day that he can. The days he doesn’t see you, he calls you any chance he can get. Never in his life has he felt so obsessed with somebody, so completely consumed. Sure the sex was great, but talking to you was so much better than any of that. In recent weeks Tim has been avoiding having sex with you, it’s not that he doesn’t want to he does. He just doesn’t want you to think that’s the sole reason he sticks around. Lily took it personally towards the end of their relationship when Tim would turn down sex. He just didn’t feel like it, at least not with her. That’s when he knew he needed to end the relationship. 

Sometimes even private relationships are hard to maintain it would seem.  

Of course there were a lot of tabloids who didn’t quite buy his “just an old friend” story, and wrote speculative articles as to who you were. The two of you found it quite entertaining to read the theories, and to watch the fans unravel because who the hell are you?? Are you and Tim dating?? No you’re probably just family, oh my gosh but are you just family?? It was hilarious, in a cruel sort of way. Tim worried at first, made sure you weren’t too overwhelmed with all this attention on you even though the paparazzi didn’t even get a picture of your face. When you took him home from the club you had no clue Tim was internationally famous, he feels like maybe he should have told you before you fucked in the nightclub bathroom. You seemed intrigued by his career and the films he’d been in, he found that endearing. When the two of you first started seeing each other more often you’d told him you were going to watch every single movie he’d ever been in. Turns out you’re a woman of your word, because you then proceeded to watch every single movie he had ever starred in. Even briefly. 

Tim’s dad was never super inquisitive about his sons dating life, if it was someone Tim really saw a future with then he knew Tim would bring her by sooner or later. However you seemed to be something Tim remained very tight lipped about. Tim almost never mentioned you, and he always changed the subject if his dad questioned him about this mystery women who seems to have captured his sons attention. Tim really doesn’t know why his desire to keep you a complete secret to everyone is so strong, but he feels like he needs to keep you a secret. So when Tim’s phone rang and he saw his fathers contact for the 3rd time today, he grew nervous and nearly declined the call. 

“Bonjour fils,” “Hello son.” His father greets cheerfully, but Tim knows better. He knows something is up. “Dad, comment vas-tu?” “Dad, how are you?” Tim wipes his sweaty palms on his jeans as the dark clouds begin to gather together overhead. “I am well, but I do have a question for you.” His accent is thick, but Tim is used to it. It’s not the accent he’s focused on anyway. Tim’s parents become inquisitive only when they know Tim is hiding something important from them which is almost never. The silence on the other end of the phone is unnerving. “La fille, who is she?” Tim falls silent, he’s not entirely surprised this is the question his father needed to ask him right this moment. Tim itches the back of his neck as rain begins to drizzle down, Tim takes this opportunity to abort the call. “Dad? Dad? Sorry I can’t hear you.” Tim says, before faking a bad signal and hanging up. He feels guilty but he’s not ready to answer his dads question.

He was supposed to be walking to your small condo today, but clearly the rain has other plans as Tim stands a porch soaked to the bone.  

Normally Tim would drive but his car is too easily recognizable and it’s easier for him to disguise himself when he’s walking. His teeth chatter as his phone rings, he’s not at all surprised when he sees your name pop up on the screen. “Tim where are you? You’re going to get sick out there.” Your voice is thick with concern. It makes the corners of Tim’s mouth quirk up. Checking the closest street sign Tim signs, “still a few blocks away.” He says but is cut off when he hears your keys rattling. Seeing the streets flowing with a few inches of water as the rain begins to downpour, Tim’s voice is a little more worried than he intended when he spoke again. “No it’s way too dangerous for you to drive.” He protests but when he hears your front door shut he knows arguing with you is pointless. Tim slides his phone back into his pocket when he sees a bolt of lightning flash across the sky, luckily it should only take you a few minutes to reach him. 

With a flash of your headlights, Tim jogs to the passenger side of your car. 

His teeth are chattering hard and his wet hair clings to his forehead. There’s a healthy shade of rosy pink on his cheeks as he shudders when the heat hits him. “If you get sick I’m going to feel so bad for making you walk.” You begin your eyes glancing over at him during the short drive back to your place. Tim reaches over the center console, his ice cold hand finding yours as he squeezes once. “D-Don’t worry ab-bout it. I’ll be f-fine.” His voice is shaky as the shattering interrupts him. You wrap your tiny but warm hand around his as the rain pounds against the windshield. You can barely see. You don’t believe that he’ll be fine, and if he gets sick his director is going to be pissed. You pull into the garage at your house, and rush him inside. 

“Clothes off!” You exclaim as the two of you enter your kitchen. Tim raises an eyebrow at you, a playful smile on his face as he reaches for the button of his wet jeans. “Because they’re wet.” You sigh when he waggles his eyebrows at you. He shrugs with a wide grin on his face as you turn to get some of his clothes he’s left here from the laundry room. When you return to the kitchen, you nearly have to squeeze your thighs together at the sight before you. Tim is standing in nothing but his boxers, a towel over his head as he dries his hair. Droplets of water run down his toned chest and along his v lines. His eyes are closed as he pulls the towel away from his tousled damp strands. Tim’s eyes open and he smirks when he sees you, obviously letting your eyes trail down his body. “Can I have my clothes or are you going to stand there and check me out some more?” He teases, loving how your face blooms in a dark crimson blush. You release your vise grip on his clothes and hand them to him, your cheeks blushing even hotter when he sends a wink your way. 

You felt arousal rush through your body as you watched Tim yank his shirt over his head. 

Tim rolls his eyes playfully after he pulls on a pair of sweatpants and he sees you still gawking at him. He approaches you and presses a quick kiss to your lips before running his hands down your arms. While the two of you aren’t technically together, you do everything a couple does. Tim knows he could ask you and you’d say yes, but even that feels risky. It makes his chest close when he thinks about it, what you two have now is safe. It’s familiar. “Drink and movie?” He asks and you nod with a smile, moving to choose a movie as Tim heads into the kitchen to make drinks. You both feel comfortable getting a little tipsy, it’s obvious he’s going to be spending the night tonight. Even if it wasn’t raining he’d probably spend the night anyway. Tim spends more nights here than he does at his own apartment. You look through the movies, a heaviness in your chest. Why won’t he ask you to be his girlfriend? You know how you feel, you think you know how he feels. The way he acts, it seems like he really likes you. 

Holding your movie choice in your hand you skip back down the stairs, seeing that Tim has set up the DVD player and is waiting on the couch. 

“Whatcha pick babe?” Tim asks, popping an almond into his mouth as you kneel down to insert the disk. You smile but you don’t say anything as the DVD player reads the disk. The opening screen for ‘Call Me By Your Name’ comes on and you hear Tim groan. “It’s the only one of your movies I haven’t seen yet.” You smile as you snuggle into the couch next to him. Tim’s arm wraps around you as he keeps munching on the almond, watching the opening scene come on. “Yeah but this has sex scenes, you think I enjoy watching myself have fake sex?” Tim asks, discomfort on his face as you laugh. You reach over to take an almond from him, “I know I’ll sure enjoy it.” You smile and you feel his lips press against your head briefly. Your head rests against his chest as you take a sip of the drink he’s decided to make you. “Hm been forever since I had a gin and tonic.” You smile when you feel him squeeze you. 

When you see Tim come onto the screen, you can’t help but gush over how cute he is. 

“Oh Timmy! You’re so cute.” You squeal, loving how his cheeks tint pink at your complements. Tim only shakes his head at you as you continue to coo at the Tim on the screen, the only way he can get you to stop is to press his lips against yours for a short, sweet kiss. As the movie continues, you can’t stay focused. It’s not the movie, it’s a really good movie and you’re certain it’s become one of your favorites. No it’s not that it’s a bad movie, it’s the stupid adorable boy sitting next to you. You’re tired of the two of you dancing around what you really want to be, you don’t know what he’s still waiting for. Your cheek presses into his chest as you only half watch the movie. You take another big drink of your gin and tonic before resting against Tim again. Almost as though he can read your thoughts Tim pauses the movie and sits up to look at you. “What is it?” He asks, turning to sit in front of you, his legs folded. You blink as innocently as you can, but when you see the look in his eyes you know you can’t beat around the bush any longer. 

“I really like you Tim, I want to be with you...it just feels like you don’t want that too.” You admit, your eyes not meeting his as you stare down at the couch. You hear a deep sigh come from Tim before he takes your hands, his thumbs rubbing along the backs of your hands. Tim reaches forward to hook a finger under your chin to bring your eyes up to meet his. He was afraid he’d make you feel this way, he never meant to. He wants you more than you could ever understand. “I want that, more than I could ever put into words. I guess I’m just afraid that if we go there, what we have will change. I don’t want this to change or to become the ‘medias’ relationship rather than our relationship.” Tim says softly, and your eyebrows pinch together. 

“What do you mean?” You ask him, your hands curling around his tighter, and you see him nibble on the inside of his cheek. “When I dated Lily, she always wanted us to act a certain way for the camera. Or maybe I just felt like we needed to be different for the medias eyes. It was so much work always having to be careful about what I did with her or said to her because there were eyes on us all the time. What I have with you makes me feel so free, I don’t want that to change. I don’t want us to be poisoned by the media.” Tim says, and you can tell a huge weight has been lifted from his chest by him saying this. Your hands reach up to cup his cheeks as you pull his lips to meet yours. 

“That won’t ever happen to us. We’ll be careful about the media, we’ll keep this a secret.” You reassure him as you crawl into his lap. You see the look of fear on his face beginning to melt away as he winds his arms tightly around your waist. Tim’s forehead presses firmly against yours, “so do you really want to do this, with me?” He asks and you know he isn’t joking. He’s being dead serious. You wind your arms around his neck with a smile on your face as you brush your nose against his. “I want to be yours.” You whisper and he smiles before he stands, with your legs wound around his waist. “Then be my girlfriend.” Tim whispers and instead of answering you press your lips firmly against his. He carries you up the stairs, his lips beginning to move more frantically against yours. His hands slide down your back to grab at your ass, causing you to gasp into his mouth. 

He drops you unceremoniously onto the bed, his hands immediately sliding up to hook into your sleep shorts you have on. Tim’s lips pepper kisses along your collarbones and neck. Your back arches into him as you card your fingers through his damp hair, still mostly wet from the rain. Tim pulls your shorts down your legs slowly and groans softly when he sees you’re not wearing panties. He kisses his way down to the swells of your breasts. You start to lean up to remove your tank top but Tim reaches up and grabs your shirt between his hands before yanking, splitting the fabric in half. You moan as he does so, immediately pulling his head down to your chest. Tim chuckles against your skin as you arch against him, whining as his right hand slides between your bodies to toy with your clit. “God Tim,” You moan, your voice broken as you wriggle your hips against his hand. Tim’s lips latch to your nipple as he slides 2 fingers into your wet opening. 

You spread your thighs wider for him as his teeth gently sink into your nipple causing you to cry out. Tim begins to quickly pump his fingers into you while whispering dirty words into the skin of your breasts. “Gonna cum all over my fingers baby?” His voice is husky and you can’t offer more than a frantic nod as he scissors his fingers open to stretch you. “Fuck Tim!” You cry out, your fingers curling around your bed sheets as he crawls down your body to latch his lips to your clit. He sucks your clit into his mouth to flick it with his tongue and as he does so you explode around his fingers but he doesn’t stop. Your eyes roll back as he continues to pleasure you, the overstimulation becoming too much. As you feel your orgasm approaching a second time Tim bites gently at your clit and it’s like a switch flips inside you, and you squirt all over him. 

Your chest is heaving as Tim pulls away, quite literally covered in your cum. You blush hard as he wipes his face, his pupils dilated as he gazes down at you with a lustful smile. “Fuck baby you’ve never squirted before, you’re so sexy.” Tim growls as he leans down to press his lips against yours again, to try and kiss away your embarrassment. You feel the head of his cock nudging against your entrance and you immediately part your thighs wider to make room for him between your legs. “Mine?” Tim asks, his eyes soft as one of his hands reaches up to brush hair away from your face. “Yours.” You confirm, nuzzling your nose against his as he slowly pushes into you. With one languid thrust Tim slides all the way inside you, and you both gasp in pleasure. You press a hand to his hip to hold him deep inside you. Tim’s forehead presses against yours as he sits still inside you, “L’amour de ma vie.” He mutters, his French rolling smoothly off his lips. You smile as you press your lips to his, even though you don’t know what it means you’re sure it means something beautiful. 

Tim pulls his hips back and gently slides back into you, and you see starts when he hits that spot inside you that makes your toes curl. Tim continues to slide sensually and gently into you before drawing his hips back and driving into you softly again. Your forehead stays pressed against his as both of you pant into each others mouths as you feel your high coming up on you again. “I’m gonna cum baby,” You cry out softly as you grab and claw at his shoulders. Tim continues his slow and steady pace, his lips finding the skin of your neck. With a few more swift thrusts into you, you come undone around his cock. Feeling you squeeze him Timothee groans, cumming inside you in gentle spurts. 

Tim pulls out of you with a wince before rolling onto his back beside you. “What did it mean?” You ask as you turn your head to look at him. A cheeky smile crosses onto his face as he presses a kiss to your lips. “Maybe learn some French and you’ll know.” He teases and you roll your eyes as you hop up from the bed. Tim smiles as he pushes off the bed, “come on! We still haven’t finished the movie!” Your excited little voice calls from downstairs and Tim smiles while shaking his head. He doesn’t even bother to put his clothes on, you didn’t. 

You really are the love of his life. 

***taglist*** @irishbish​ @y2k-wildfire​ @newletas​ @londonmademedoit​ @80sangelics​ @swim-reaper​ @elisaaru

[dinandgone]

The Hideaway.

Part Three of the ‘Blood and Beskar’ Series.

The Mandalorian x Fem!Reader

Word count: 4.7k 

Warnings: Series 1 Spoilers, Swearing. Tiny bit of unspoken mutual pining, cara dune (idk if she should be a warning but I think of her more as an oc in this fic)

A/n~ This chapter corresponds with what happens in the Sanctuary episode ( S1 Ep4) but has a bit extra sprinkled in. I’ve been really enjoying writing this so far and I hope you like it as much as I do. Enjoy xx Feedback is always welcome :)

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The Crest had landed in a scenic clearing in the middle of a forest. You moved from the cockpit down into the hull, the conversation wasn’t exactly buzzing between you and Mando after you had made the deal. You’d been the kid’s glorified babysitter for a grand total of five minutes, and were already contemplating taking back the deal you’d made with Mando and turning yourself in. Death seemed easier than caring for the little green monster that ate anything and everything. You’d placed him in his cot whilst you used the refresher, only to come back to an empty cot and the kid giggling from the compartment where ration packs had been stored. You sighed picking up the green terror and placing him back into the floating container. 

“Now you stay here, you little womp rat, I don’t want to get in trouble from the old tin can upstairs, okay,” You demand, tucking him into the blankets of the storage container. 

You hear the familiar sound of heavy footsteps moving down the ladder into the hull. You pick up the child and walk towards where Mando has stopped outside the weapons case, grabbing his rifle and slinging it over his back, and moving towards the hatch. 

“If you want, I can stay here and look after the kid, whilst you go-” you start. 

“No.” Mando interrupts bluntly “I’m not leaving you both here.”

You shift on your feet placing your hands on your hips “Stars. Mando isn’t that what the deal was? I look after the kid whilst you go out. I am perfectly capable of babysitting a child” you huff. 

He turns his helmet in your direction, “I’m not leaving you unsupervised with the kid...not yet”

Oh. He didn’t trust you. He wanted you to stay close because he didn’t trust you. Yes, you were technically a criminal. But did he doubt your moral compass that much? Did he think that low of you? No, don’t be ridiculous. You had given him no reason to trust you, the fact that you had a bounty on your head probably didn’t help matters. He was clearly looking out for the kid. 

You’re abruptly pulled from your thoughts by the sound of the ramp lowering, allowing the soft glow of the sun to pour in. You’re hit with the refreshing breeze that sweeps golden leaves along the forest floor, you stand and appreciate your surroundings, it was beautiful. The way the trees basked in the light, you tilted your head to look at the sky, loving the warmth of the sun on your face. You closed your eyes and imagined, trying to grasp the wisps of memories from your childhood on your home planet, the vast expanse of green trees and peaceful calm. Sighing and walking forward, you talk to the child commenting on how beautiful everything was. You didn’t notice Mando tilting his head watching you as you walked down the ramp. 

You stood at the edge of the clearing, with the child babbling in your arms as Mando closed the ramp. He walks towards you reaching behind his cape. 

“Here, you might need these,” he states holding out your blaster and knife. 

You raise your eyebrows in surprise. “I thought you said nobody would find us here.”

“Good to be prepared.” he nods bluntly, gesturing the weapons forward. 

Placing the child on the floor you warily take your blaster, sliding it into its holder and sheath your knife back into its rightful place on your thigh. You felt complete again, safer now you had more means of protection. Yet you couldn't help but feel confused again, he didn’t trust you to stay with the kid, but he trusted you with a blaster?  

“Let’s go,” He commands, walking off into the forest, kid in tow. You follow closely keeping an eye on the child who was happily babbling and waddling trying to keep up with Mando's strides. 

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The walk to the nearest village was short and pleasant, the sound of the surrounding wildlife filling the silence, providing no need for conversation. About halfway into the trek, the child had grown tired, so you picked him up and held him in your arms gently rocking him to sleep. Soon after the peaks of village huts come into view, you cautiously follow Mando as he walks into the largest one. 

The hut was much like the cantina on Felucia, the aroma of broth and freshly baked goods hits you as soon as you enter through the door, the atmosphere loud and hearty with patrons both at the bar and at tables. Your bounty hunter instincts kick in as you assess the crowd, picking out any who could be a potential threat. Your attention is drawn to a woman sat on the opposite side of the restaurant briefly glancing at you and Mando, your suspicion is piqued but your attention is drawn away by Mando moving away from you towards a table on the other side of the cantina and taking a seat, you follow, placing the child on a barrel at the side of the table you take the seat facing the suspicious character.

“You noticed her too,” you mumble in his direction, trying not to draw attention to yourselves. “You think she’s trouble?” 

Before he can reply he’s cut off by a waitress walking towards your table. Mando orders some broth for both you and the child. Your line of sight on the stranger is blocked and you’re forced to acknowledge the waitress in front of you just as she smiles and walks away. 

“Shit.” Mando curses “She’s gone.” 

You looked towards the table where the stranger had been sat, now empty. You turn back to the Mandalorian who’s already standing and leaving the table. 

“Mando!” you shout in a hushed tone “Where are you going?” 

“Stay here and look after the kid,” he answers dully. 

You do as you’re told and sit back down, just in time for the waitress to come back placing the two bowls of broth on the table, you offer her a mock smile in thanks as she walks away. You try not to worry about the situation. No, you are not worried about the Mandalorian you tell yourself as you sip on the soup.

Focussing on the task in hand you glance back to the child, but you’re met with the sight of an empty barrel. 

Shit.

The one job you’d been tasked with, and you’d fucked up already. You quickly get up from your seat looking under and around the table for the little green terror. Your frantic searching had no success, both the child and its bowl of broth had disappeared. Fantastic. You quickly pace to the door of the restaurant making an effort to look under tables and behind barrels in the process. Stepping outside of the hut you look to the floor for small footprints. 

Your search is disrupted by the sounds of a nearby brawl. You turn following the sounds in search of the source. You follow the sounds down the alleyway stopping at the junction behind two huts and step out to the left. You’re met with the sight of the Mandalorian and the stranger lying on the floor blasters raised. They turn to look in your direction. You look down to see the child, bowl of soup in hand, sipping it gently clearly enjoying the entertainment that had happened just moments before. Mando’s helmet tilts to you. 

“I thought I told you to look after the kid.” he sighs bringing the strangers attention to you. 

“I took one sip of my soup and then he was gone, I didn’t take my eyes off him for less than a minute.” You argue, walking to the child and picking him up. 

Mando still lying on the floor turns his helmet to the stranger “You want some soup?” 

They both stand dusting themselves off and begin walking back to the restaurant as if nothing had happened. You followed them, sitting back at the table from before. You huffed in disappointment at the space where your bowl of broth had been, now empty. Your stomach grumbled. Luckily, like she had read your mind the stranger ordered some broth for the three of you that could enjoy a meal in public. You felt a pang of guilt for sitting and enjoying the food whilst Mando had to just sit and observe, then again he was probably used to this, you focused your attention back to your soup, making sure to check the child was still at the table this time. 

“Sorry I came at you so hard,” the stranger eventually speaks turning towards Mando “Figured you had a fob on me.” 

“Yeah, that’s what I figured.” He responds “ I thought you were here for us too.” He tilts his helmet towards you and the child, who was now sat on your knee giggling at your comments as you tickled his ears. You raise your eyes listening to the conversation once more and he realises he’d been looking at you for too long, thankfully you hadn’t realised. Too busy keeping the child entertained. 

The woman who had introduced herself as Cara Dune continues the conversation with Mando but then turns to glance at you. 

“So, how’d you end up with a pretty girl like that?” turning back to Mando smirking. “And that,” pointing to the child on your lap. 

You feel a blush rise to your face from Cara’s comment. You glance back to the child trying to occupy your thought with entertaining him. You could feel the Mandalorian’s gaze on you, only making the blush deepen and causing the butterfly feeling to shoot straight to your stomach. Mando explains what happened with the kid and how you were a bounty, the kid’s story new to your ears. You couldn’t help but feel a pang of hurt deep down that he’d tell someone else what happened with the kid so readily, even when you’d had the opportunity to kill him several times, and agreed to look after the kid. But then again you didn’t ask and conversation with the Mandalorian was few and far between. The conversation continued with Cara explaining why she was here describing it as early retirement, she then takes the last sip of her broth.

“Well this has been a real treat,” she stands “But unless you wanna go another round- one of us is gonna have to move on, and I was here first,” 

She walks out of the restaurant leaving you and Mando at the table. You take a deep sigh cradling the child, you turn to look at the Mandalorian. 

“So what are we gonna do?” you ask, eyes searching the side of the beskar helmet. 

“Guess we have to continue our search,” He sighs, standing away from the table, turning to check you and the child were behind him. You followed him out of the hut back to the Razor crest. You gaze around at the surroundings pointing and describing things to the child. The sun was setting below the trees painting the sky with ambers and yellows giving the surroundings a golden hue. 

“It’s a shame we can’t stay here, it’s beautiful.” you muse breaking the silence comfortably. You didn’t really expect an answer, it was more of a statement anyway

“It is, It’s difficult to find beauty in this line of work,” he murmurs glancing over at you, admiring how the sun falls on your face as you appreciate your surroundings. As you turn to face forward again, he looks away like he’d be caught doing something he shouldn’t have clearing his throat, continuing the walk back to the Crest in silence. You don’t think much into what Mando had said just humming in agreement, but you could feel the blush in your cheeks again, maker, why did he make you feel like this? You were stuck with him out of coincidence, not requirement, it was merely a business agreement he made that much clear. But every time he spoke to you, even if it was a simple answer or command, you felt a familiar tug in your chest. No, stop it. You dragged your thoughts back to the present, looking down and cooing at the child. 

Arriving at the Razor crest Mando mentions something about checking for repairs, walking around the crest’s exterior. You shrugged and ascended the ramp, bypassing the ladders walking to the child’s cot. You gently wrapped him in a spare blanket and placing him in the container. He softly murmurs meaningless babbles, closing his eyes and slowly drifting off to sleep. You gently stroke the top of his head and ears as his breathing evens. Warmth filled your heart and a smile graced your face, at that moment you understood why the Mandalorian was so protective and you silently vowed to yourself that as long as you could you would protect the kid with your life. You sat on the floor next to the child’s container, continuing to gently rock the cot until your eyes began to droop and your own exhaustion pulled you into sleep. 

You awoke to the pitch-black hull, you must have been asleep for a couple of hours. Your hand was still in the child’s cot, his small hands resting on top of yours, you gently removed your hand and press the button on the container closing the shield. The sound of a conversation outside draws you to walk to the ramp, at first you figured Mando was talking to himself, but there was a distinct difference in the tone of voices, they were unmodulated. Your hand hovers over your blaster in its holster.

“Come on, let’s head back,” sighs the known voice, accompanied with sounds of shuffling feet in the dirt. 

“It took us a whole day to get here. Now we have to ride back with no protection, to the middle of nowhere,” another voice complains

You walk to the top of the ramp only to be met with Mando walking the other way, you looked at him confusion written across your face. 

”What’s going on?” you ask, looking out to see two men walking away from the ship. 

The Mandalorian ignores your question and turns on his heel. “Where do you live?” He questions taking a step forward.

The men stop and turn. ”On a farm, weren’t you listening?” One of them responds curtly. 

You raise your eyebrows, eyes meeting his gaze, hand still hovered over your blaster. You looked at him, eyes narrowed as to provide a warning for sassing the Mandalorian. He seemed to understand as his eyes quickly moved back to Mando. 

“In the middle of nowhere?” Mando asks, stilling leaving you confused beside him. 

“Yes.” The rude one answers quickly. Looking at you then averting his gaze once more to the Mandalorian. You smirked at your accomplishment, he was intimidated by you. Good.

“You have lodging?” Mando asks again

“Um yes. Absolutely!” The other man answers, a hopeful look on his face.

“Good, come up and help,” Mando responds turning and stepping past you. You watch him arrange some crates, gesturing for you to pick them up, the farmers following in suit, picking up the crates and taking them to the cart not far from the ship. 

Whilst exchanging pleasantries you’d learnt that the farmers names where Stoke and Caben, You place the last of the crates from the ship onto the cart and turn back to the Razor Crest. Walking up the ramp you notice the child, still in his container but the Mandalorian is nowhere to be found. Typical. You still had no idea what in makers name was going on, and now he’d left you with the child and two complete strangers.

”Where’d he go?” You ask hands on your hips. 

”He said he had to get one more thing.” Stoke replies climbing onto the cart. 

You nod at his reply. What could he need that wasn’t on the ship? Then again why would he tell you if he hadn’t even bothered to tell you what was happening? You pulled your face, talking to yourself and mimicking the Mandalorian in the process. You heard the baby cry from his container, walking over and opening the shields you pick him up and bounce him on your hip in hope of settling him down. After a while, he coos and continues his usual incoherent babbling. 

You decide to sit outside and wait for the Mandalorian’s return. Not that you cared or anything, he’d just left without saying a word and it irked you. There had been a small conversation held between you and the two men, nothing interesting just something to pass the time. Both of them failing to divulge what was going on. 

Your ears prick at the sound of rustling in the forest to the side of the cart, and you pull out your blaster. The Mandalorian emerges from the treeline with Cara Dune both walking towards the cart, you sigh and holster your blaster. You stand, hopping off the cart and stretching your legs. You walking back to the ship. 

”Where are you going?” Caben shouts from the cart. 

You turn and see Mando and Cara also sat on the cart. You look at Mando, then move your eyes to Caben. Before you can form an excuse Mando speaks. 

“Get in,” He commands

You huff and move to climb onto the cart. “ I thought you wouldn’t want me to come with you,” you mumble, sitting in between Mando and Cara, the child crawling onto your lap. 

“What, and leave you alone on my ship, I’d like to be able to come back to it after this job.” He answers, with a slight twinge of humour. 

“Well, how was I supposed to know what you wanted me to do Mando! You haven’t even explained to me what the kriff is going on!” you hissed, crossing your arms 

“Calm down.” Mando sighed 

“You calm down, fucking buckethead,” you mumbled under your breath, earning a short laugh from Cara, and an unamused glare from the dark visor.

“I like her she’s got fire.” she chuckled, winking at you. 

You shoot her a shy smile and prop yourself against the pile of crates behind you. Why he has or needs this much stuff is beyond you, you had little to no possessions, and you lived out of the clothes you were wearing, the shirt not even your own. You close your eyes feigning sleep, listening to the Mandalorian’s and the ex-shock trooper’s conversation. 

“So we’re basically running off a band of raiders for lunch money?” She asks, glancing back to your sleeping figure, then back to Mando. You crack open your eyes, so you can just barely see the Mandalorian.

“Last I checked it’s a pretty square deal for someone in your position.” Mando responds “Worst case scenario, you tune up your blaster. Best case we’re a deterrent. I can’t imagine there’s anything living in these woods that an ex-shock trooper couldn’t handle,” he says, leaning back and stretching out on the crates behind him. 

You feel the familiar heat rise in your stomach and your breath hitches. He looks good, why does he always look so annoyingly good? You curse yourself, at those thoughts crossing your mind. As soon as he can he was going to get rid of you, even with the deal you’d agreed upon he could easily just leave you somewhere for other bounty hunters to find. You were replaceable, as usual just a means to an end. 

Giving up on trying pretending to be asleep, you stretch out yawning in the process to make it more believable that you’d just woken up. You lay back and stare at the passing stars. 

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You bolt awake from the sound of laughing children surrounding the cart. Turning to look behind you you’re greeted by several children running to greet Stoke and Caben on their return home.

“Well, it looks like they’re happy to see us,” Mando almost chuckles as the group of children begin to crowd around the child.

The Child babbles happily, arms outstretched, reaching out to the children in front of him. You climb off the cart and begin unloading the crates, a few villagers helping you place them on the ground. Picking up one of the crates Mando walks forward being greeted by one of the villagers, you supposed they were talking about where you’d be placing the supplies, and where he’d be staying. You follow the rest of the villagers with crates into the village. 

After placing the crates in the village, you pick up the child and regroup with Mando and Cara. The villagers were sure to make you feel welcome, greeting you warmly and expressing their gratitude. Though what for you still didn’t know the Mandalorian still had yet to divulge that to you. 

A woman steps out from the crowd, long brown hair and striking features. She introduces herself as Omera indicating that she’d show you to where you’d be staying for the night. She walked forwards to a single hut and gestured inside.

“This is where you’ll be staying, let me know if you need anything at all,” She smiled, but somehow you felt it was more directed to the Mandalorian rather than yourself.

Mando thanks Omera as you step into the hut, it had two cots and a crib for the baby. You feel guilty that it provided very little privacy for Mando. On the crest, he could lock himself in the cockpit or his cot so he could enjoy some time without the helmet but here, there was little to no privacy. 

“I can stay with Cara, if it’s easier, that way you can have a little more privacy.” You suggest moving to the door. 

“It’s fine,” Mando assures you in a gruff tone 

“But what about your helmet, and your armour, surely you can’t sleep in it, it’s got to be really-,” 

“Y/N, I said it’s fine.” Mando quips visor staring at you. Your eyes widen, his response startled you. He never calls you by your name, usually just pointing conversation towards you. But the way he says your name almost makes you shiver. Low and baritone, you wished he said it more often, it made things feel less impersonal. You realise you’d been stood in the doorway for too long, your eyes still wide at his tone.

“Fine,” You huff moving towards the cot opposite the Mandalorian’s.

Mando was surprised by your concern, as much as you liked to portray yourself as a rugged bounty hunter you had a thoughtful side. He’d seen that much when he’d seen you slumped against the wall of the crest, hand in the baby’s cot soothing him whilst he slept. And now you were thinking about his comfort, he didn’t know what he was feeling, a warmth in his chest, as he reflects how you’d fallen asleep with the child on your lap in the back of the cart, your face so peaceful, outlined by the soft glow of the stars above. For someone like him with such a violent life, you seemed so soft. He’s shaken from his thoughts by the sound of your voice. 

“So are you going to tell me what we’re doing here, or?” you question, looking up at the dark visor of his helmet. You always managed without fail to find his eyes behind the visor, in certain moments he wondered if you could actually see him. He explains why you’re here, the problems the village had been facing with raiders and how if we helped them the village could be a good place to stay and hide for a while. You nod listening intently.

“So that’s why you brought your entire arsenal then,” you chuckle turning to him, looking straight into his visor again

“Whatever help you need, just ask,” you say sincerely, turning to look at the child in the crib. 

After a few moments of silence, you turn to Mando again. “ I’m going out there to see if they need my help with anything, do you want the child here with you, or shall I take it with me?” You ask, brushing your fingers over the child’s ears as it coos. 

“You can take him with you if you want,” he hesitates, then adds “I trust you,”

Those three words knock the breath out of your lungs, erasing all your thoughts you’d dwelled on the day before. The Mandalorian trusted you. You tried to contain the smile that was creeping up onto your face, in an attempt to conceal it you turn to the child, picking it up from its crib and placing it on your hip. 

“What do you say we go on a little adventure, little womp rat,” you smiled, your statement earning the incoherent babbles and coos you loved so much. 

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You left Mando alone with his thoughts, how you found yourself to be wanted criminal he didn’t know. Was he surprised? No, not really. From the brief encounters you had on Nevarro, and the little competition you’d shared Mando knew you spoke your mind, and it was often your mouth got you into trouble. And having received a couple of remarks from you, he knew not to get on your bad side. But he quickly realised he knew next to nothing about you, your family, where you came from. And it puzzled him how he wanted to know more about you, how he found himself wondering what you were thinking and how you saw the world. Two knocks on the huts doorframe bring him from his mind’s rambling. 

“Can I come in?” Cara asks 

Mando nods and gestures her to sit on the cot opposite his own. 

“Bounty hunter, so I’m guessing she fights then,” Cara states pointing outside the hut to where you were playing with the child and some of the village children. 

“Yes,” Mando replies looking up to you, with the child in your arms.

“She any good?” Cara questions 

“ From what I’ve seen when she’s on the job, and the way she almost got the jump on me back on Felucia, I’d say so yes.” 

“Good, so she can help,” Cara continues.

Mando nods in response.

“We need to scout the area so we can form a plan.” She stands leaving the hut “I’ll meet you at the edge of the woods.”

Mando nods grabbing his rifle and placing it on his back. Mando didn’t like the uneasiness that crept up on him at the thought of putting you in danger. Though he wanted to assess what you were really capable of he didn’t want you to get hurt or worse. He rises from the cot and makes his way to the treeline finding you and Cara. He turns his visor to look at you.

You shoot him a challenging glare “Look I want to help, I’m more than capable to defend myself, and you can’t tell me otherwise.” You state, pointing a finger at the Mandalorian.

You heard Mando’s sigh of defeat through the helmet, and you smirked at your victory. The three of you move through the forest in the direction Caben had directed you. As the three of you walk through the foliage there doesn’t seem to be anything out of the ordinary. 

“Are you sure they gave us the right direction?” Cara huffs 

“Yes,” you say, perking Mando’s and Cara’s attention, you point the series of burnt and snapped branches higher up in the trees. The three of you continue to follow the trail searching for anything else out of the ordinary. Until the Mandalorian stops in his tracks, you almost walk into his back at his sudden halt. Confused you follow his visor’s line of sight.

“Fuck, that’s not possible ” you let out an exasperated sigh 

“An AT-ST?” Cara questions.

Mando crouches examining the large print left in the mud of the forest floor.

“They didn’t mention a fucking AT-ST!” You exclaim “ We can’t fight an AT-ST.”

Mando stands silently and turns making his way back to the village without saying a word.

This was more than you’d signed up for.

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