#teared up writing this
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i'm less angry today and just... sad. like, mew is so palpably lonely that he kisses boeing back before he realizes what he's doing.
not the point but god that third cap book you are too hot
he and top both are just so... lonely. top's always been lonely, while mew didn't realize how lonely he was before he met top. i think that's why they're so easily manipulated: they just expect people to let them down so when someone suggests it, it confirms all their fears and insecurities that no one could ever actually want to stay.
and now mew misses top so much but just can't seem to get over himself; he can't move on from top, but nothing seems to appease him. he's scared of losing top but it seems all he wants to do is keep hurting him. what do you actually want, mew? do you want to keep him around just to punish him? do you want to give in to love? what are you clinging to? because right now, it's not top.
it just breaks my heart because mew seemed to be the only person who knew top, and now he seems to only grasp an incomplete idea of him. he's not even trying to relearn him because his judgment is so clouded by this betrayal - all he cares about is that top didn't trust him, but isn't mew doing the same now? isn't he letting himself be influenced by another person who just wants to get in his pants?
#teared up writing this#like it was a dumb episode but i know what they were going for#it was still dumb like they just needed a reason for them not to get back together and they found a stupid one lol#ofs liveblog#my caps
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I have THOUGHTS and nowhere to put them so. ignore this lmao
The thing is, see, I've never really been good at having friends. Like, I can have friends on here because idk, it's different, there's that layer of separation I guess, it's easier and you start off in a much different place to irl friendships because of the very nature of this beloved hellsite
But irl I've always been sorta terrible at, not making friends, but keeping them. People always seem to get sick of me, I become too much of myself, I get comfortable enough to let them see beyond the carefully crafted, most palatable version of myself, and they never seem to like it. So I build the walls higher and I make it harder and harder for people to know me, and for so long I've been so, so lonely
And then. The other day I was invited to this party. And it was last minute and normally I would have said no but I thought hey, what the hell, I'll sort of know at least 90% of the people there, why not. So I went. And it was quite possibly the best night of my life
And the thing is, see, I know that I'd been keeping most of these people at arms length. In recent weeks I've been letting some of them closer, but I'd still been so fucking careful. But at this party I was drinking—not something I've ever really done, and it wasn't excessive (I still remember the whole night and I still felt fully in control of myself)—but the thing is, the more I drank, the less I heard that constant voice of anxiety. And it was so nice not to hear it. And because I couldn't hear it, I was so much more myself. I was laughing and joking, I just said the things I'd normally want to say but would be too busy thinking through the implications of to ever actually get around to it
And the thing is. The thing is people liked it. Someone even made a joke that I'm so different to their first impression of me, and that the real me is so much better.
And for the last few days I've just been replaying that party in my head, over and over. These people that I've spent months wanting to befriend, that all like me the best when they saw the actual me, not the carefully palatable, I'll-be-whoever-you-want-me-to-be version. And it makes me want to cry because I'm so fucking happy
I'm seeing them again next week, and I just. I hope we get to hang out more. I hope this continues. Because that night was exactly what I've always wanted, exactly how I've always imagined having real friends would be like, and now I know what it feels like and I know that they like me and I'm just so, so happy
#teared up writing this#but it's okay#tears of joy#mostly#the lesbian herself#every time i think about it i can't stop smiling#please ignore this post
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okay no im not leaving this in the tags that last part of “younger transfems' that are trying to get out of that tar pit of self hate should be appreciated and loved and encouraged for their efforts” because that shit is HARD and im improving a lot but still struggle a bit
yes even the ones that are fully stuck in that tar pit should be appreciated and loved too. it’s fucking rough out there
I’ve been shamed so much for being self deprecating and hating myself while i was in the deep end of it and it fucking set me back so much because i had the added shame of it on top. if you see a transfem being mean to herself show her what being loved is like and teach her how to love oneself and feel worthy of it and be fucking gentle with her because she needs it and deserves the fucking world.
being transfem is trying to take younger transfems and drag them kicking and screaming out of the tar pit until they learn to love themselves and stop being bitter over what they dont have
#newsflash sometimes the rough treatment doesnt do shit and only makes you feel worse#sometimes you need someone to be gentle with you instead of shame you for not loving yourself or give you ‘hard truths’#SOMETIMES THE TRUTHS CAN BE SOFT OKAY#teared up writing this#astrid reblogs
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thinking about laying beside simon on the bed, your head resting on his shoulder while his hands held a book that you had gifted him, his eyes fixed on the text.
your fingers absentmindedly traced over the scars on his chest, letting your soft fingertips draw over the rough sunken skin of the healed gashes — a painful story written in each of them. and you wanted to read it all, read every scar and cut, kiss all of it, absorb it so you could share it with him — a connection only you’d ever have with him.
your fingers slowly found their way to his stomach, hand caressing the muscles that had softened up ever since he had come home from deployment, your eyes noticing the stretch marks starting on the sides of his tummy that you adored so much. pale lines adorning his skin, urging you to probe them too, your hand touching him so gently — an angel soothing a wounded soldier.
simon is gorgeous, too gorgeous. he never seemingly saw it the way you did. “you’re so pretty…” you lazily whispered, pressing a soft kiss on his shoulder.
you were the warmth his cold heart sought, the fire that melted him, the sun that gave his moon the light he never thought he’d see. he needed you in the way a man needed a god, in a way a plant yearned for water. and you were happy to give it all to him, everything for your sweet simon.
“you tryin’ to tickle me, love?” his gruff voice broke you out of your trance, your eyes finding his which were no longer looking at the book, an intrigued grin playing on his lips that made you giggle heartedly and give his stomach some pats.
“maybe.”
#teared up while writing this because he really is so beautiful :( sobs shakes#im a simon with stretchmarks truther !!!#ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley#simon ghost riley#cod x reader#cod fluff#call of duty#rurufic
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i think the reason why selfshipping can be so difficult for others is the mere fact that they think they don't deserve it. or don't deserve their f/o to love them unconditionally, or be there for them, or offer support and guidance, or be their crutch.
selfshipping is hard for those who are always the giver and never the receiver. you feel uncomfortable about selfshipping or thinking about scenarios with your f/o. or how you have no idea what to add to your selfship, what lore to even do, because you don't think you should do something like this for yourself.
but you do deserve this. you deserve to feel loved and cared for by your f/os, you deserve to create the most silliest of scenarios, you deserve to be so canon-divergent and self indulgent with your selfships. you deserve to love yourself, you deserve to receive love and care, you deserve to receive these things even if it may feel uncomfortable to.
you deserve to do things for yourself. it may take time for you to be fully yourself while doing so, but you got this! i believe in you. i believe we can overcome this together. <3
#this post is so self indulgent because i am Struggling#actually writing this made me tear up#selfship#self ship#selfshipping#self shipping#selfship community#self ship community#selfship positivity#self ship positivity#selfship reminder#selfship reminders#self ship reminder#self ship reminders
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So, just curious how many writers and creators will have to be forcibly outed by relentless harassment before we acknowledge that "This queer characters was written by a cishet person and that's why they're bad" is not good criticism.
#yes i'm just going to come out and say it i'm talking about sera#not exclusively but i am talking about her#'but her writer actually iS A--' you don't know that! it doesn't matter! and i don't care!#just say that you do not like the character.#people will reblog posts about the latest actor or YA author or whatever getting forced out of the closet and be like#'wow. :( that's terrible.'#and then GO RIGHT BACK TO DOING IT#when are we going to learn#when are we going to stop doing this BEFORE somebody is forcibly outed#because in practical terms#that means you have to be okay with queer characters being written by straight people.#you have to stop weaponizing that against writers you don't like.#you have to be willing to critique the writing on its own merits#without using the writer's (assumed) identity to prop up your arguments#that's how it works#but who wants to actually change the way they talk about media#when tearing apart people's identities for clout is far more entertaining.#gwaren exports#fandom problems#fandom critical
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Now that you're gone
#*guy who just spent a full month selling 60 pages worth of comics voice* i should write another comic#this is part 1 of 2 btw. i have another one scripted from aryll's pov LOL#anyway. the concept for this has been in my head for like. years. finally decided to actually write it tho lol#the thought of his family after the initial calamity strike makes me crazy. they lost him. but he was already gone.#he was gone the moment he picked up that sword. could they have stopped it? should they have?#would things have ended any differently if they'd tried? or would it only have been worse for him?#ANYWAY. hi everyone new black and white zelda comic from the black and white zelda comic guy#skribbles#botw#loz#legend of zelda#breath of the wild#totk#tears of the kingdom#OH SHIT. TRIGGER WARNINGS#tw gore#tw suicide#tw suicidal ideation#<sorry 4 forgetting at first LMAO
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My page for @sheikahzine; about Impaz's duty to her village, empty of people and full of memories.
[id in alt text]
#legend of zelda#loz#twilight princess#loz tp#i'm still reeling that someone sent me an ask about this one.. that they took the time to find my tumblr and tell me they liked it#it really meant a lot; thank you to anyone that stops to leave comments like that. they make me happy#but yeah! here's the usual symbolism ramble:#i thought it'd be cool to have the 'spirits' flowing one way and the cats walking through them the other way#to kinda show the difference in life inhabiting the village in the past and present#link's face is covered because impaz was just waiting for 'the hero' so his clothes are what matters; not his face#and it (hopefully) gives a surreal and intangible sense to 'the hero' she could only hope would actually show up#you can feel free to interpret the glowy blue sheikah as ghosts or just as memories of the past! i couldn't decide either way#the one on the bottom left is oot impa since she's implied to be the village founder. so i guess she would be a ghost actually?#fan art#my art#project stuff#and ahhh the book-- everyone's stuff is so beautiful!!#especially the writing. some of the fics made me really tear up and some were so fun and clever. i really love them#a lot of them captured the sheer burden of the role of the sheikah; all of the time and grief and doubt#i know i always say this stuff about every project but. the people i get to work with in these are truly so skilled every time
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PRETTY FACE, BAD HABITS.
ft: Atsumu Miya, Tōru Oikawa, Tobio Kageyama, Shōyō Hinata, & Kei Tsukishima.
warnings: smut, afab!reader, daddy kink (atsumu), spanking, fingering, praise kink (oikawa), degradation, alcohol consumption (shōyō), cunnilings, enemies to lovers, small mentions of squirting, they’re lowk a lil filthy and obsessed MUNCH!shōyō bc definitely learned things in Brazil, coffee shop trope.
note: rereading hq, I am incredibly unwell and the volleyball pixels won’t leave me alone. Divider by @grlselle !!!
Thinking about gorgeous boys with pretty faces to the media who are so sadistic behind closed doors.
It goes without saying that setters are the notorious kings of this trope. Given that their charming faces tend to hide a fundamental need to be in control, constantly calling the shots n’ all. The facade cracks behind closed doors.
ATSUMU MIYA ... 4/10, not that shocking. He’s the face of MSBY, the golden boy. He’s got far more acceptable social skills than his other teammates: Shōyō, Kiyoomi, and Kōtarō, he knows how to handle himself in an interview. Flashing a toothy smile here, winking in a fan photo there. He has the hottest face in volleyball.
However, you had to have known about his silver tongue. It’s how he coaxes round after sadistic round out of you.
His stamina is much better than yours and to that he takes full advantage, being a pro-athlete has its perks. The downside is, his pretty face betrays the filth that spews from his maw when you fuck. “Yeah baby, think this messy pussy can give daddy another?”
He’s deplorable — that’s exactly why you keep crawling under him — the vileness you can only find there. “Y-yes, please ‘tsumu!” but woefully, it just isn’t enough for him, ever. He takes care of your trivial needs while chasing his own blissful completion.
“Ah ah baby, it’s daddy when I’m fuckin’ this cunt. Just hear how wet it is for me, fuck angel.” It’s humiliating, hot tears spilling past your lashes as his muscular thighs ram him impossibly further in you. You’re certain he’s in your cervix now.
“Shit — tight n’ creamy too,” he moans, “Feels so good on my cock.” He’s focused, a thin layer of sweat making his platinum blond hair stick to his forehead, eyebrows drawn together in concentration trying to feel everything you can offer him.
It drives you insane how he spoils you with unforgiving pleasure, never shy of showing just how bad he wants you. “Be daddy’s good girl and jus’ take it for me, yeah?”
And with a slap of your ass, he’s back to full speed, fucking you right up the mattress.
TŌRU OIKAWA … 8/10, a sleeping giant, don’t poke the bear. He was your summer fling, making you bubble with excitement and frenzy. His gorgeous face and native tongue were foreign to you but you recognized him from high-level volleyball matches on the news now and then.
Tōru was distinctly filled with passion, in everything he did you could feel it. He was a proud man through and through with a lust for victory.
That’s why he’s such a sadistic fuck, he’s too proud to stop even after he’s came inside you thrice. “Go on princess tell me, whose fingers can make you cum like this?” It’s those hands, those damn fingers you melt on every time he’s knuckled deep inside your sopping heat.
“Yours Tōru, only yours!” He’s peeled back every last restraint on your sanity with his body, reducing you to a tearful sticky mess pooling in his lap.
“I know mami, I know. You have to prove it to me though, show me how much you love it,” he muses rhetorically. His chin rests on your shoulder to get the best view of his practiced digits disappearing in and out of your tight sex; just how you like, just how you need. Those seasoned setter hands are a blessing.
“Ah! oh god — I’m, m’cumming— Tōru,” your chest heaves in his strong arms as he holds you there, letting you freely use and cream on his hands. He’s just so proud that he can make you feel good, so he’ll keep doing it. Over and over again.
“Look at you, my little slut. Just can’t help yourself from cumming all over me, hm?” The squelch of his three thick fingers and your slick coats his hand and your thighs alike.
TOBIO KAGEYAMA … 7/10, delving deeper, it makes sense. On the surface and to your friends and family, Tobio was your good boy. A perfect husband who was very successful in his career, and able to provide for you. People would remark on how starkly different your personalities were, the tabloids even going as far as questioning his feelings towards you.
But you know he loves you when he’s jackhammering your cunny like a rabbit. His brain only knows two things, volleyball and then all his other primal instincts. “Gonna fuck you till you’re sore, you hear me?”
He’s pushed your drooling face into the mattress to deepen your arch, greedy to feel more of your pussy suck him like candy. “You think I don’t see the way you watch me whore,” it’s like he’s punishing you with each grueling stroke of his thick cock inside you. “That’s exactly why you’re getting fucked like one. A dirty, cock-hungry, whore.”
That polite well-mannered man, a simple facade for something more sinister. They mistake his introversion for shyness when in reality he’s most likely self-censoring. He’s not much of a people person and lives a secluded life.
But all throughout his private practice today you plagued him with this singular thought: Kageyama craves it to no end, your utter and total obedience to him. He’s used to controlling his spikers, but you? You bring out an entirely new sadistic side of him. His one track mind learning every inch of your body fast.
“Stop! it’s t’much,” you cry into the sheets, overwhelmed by his sheer power. It feels like he’s deep in your guts with every strong piston of his hips against your ass. The sound of skin slapping against skin fills your ears making your brain fuzzy.
“Maybe you should think about that next time you try and tease me,” he knows you want it exactly like this. You rile him up to get a rise out of him, pushing him to his limits and beyond. Exactly how he likes it.
He snakes a hand in between your warm connected bodies, pressing his palm over the outline of himself nestled in your tummy. “Remember how my dick feels inside you right now,” and he smirks feeling you tighten up around him.
You’re so incredibly plaint to a guy like him. His perfectly tuned toy.
With middle blockers, it’s different. They just want to watch you submit. Whether they’re reading the court, blocking, or killing the ball; it gives them an indistinguishable thrill to bring something to its knees deliberately.
SHŌYŌ HINATA … 11/10, virtually undetectable thus making him the most dangerous. When you met him, you found him to be a bit too big for his britches. He was such a sweet guy nonetheless, buying your drinks and slotting a friendly arm around your waist that night.
It felt good to have his attention, those dark brown eyes analyzing your every jiggle and jive. For some reason that night no one else seemed to approach you, perhaps it was due to the fact that #21 of Asas São Paulo had his eye on you.
“Do you wanna come home with me,” you ask him smooth as silk, carding your nails in his short ginger locks. He purs in response, groaning at the sensation and grinding himself against the thin cloth of your club dress.
He’s deceptive, but it’s not on purpose. “Please mami.” He just needs you to know how badly he wants you. Do you not realize he’s everything you need? No matter, he’ll show you.
“Mhhhm, more Shō,” you breathe life into his name like it’s a prayer, supple thighs caging his face to keep him planted there between them. It’s not like he’s going anywhere though, lips suckling on your sweetness as he lifts your ass off the bed to get a better taste.
His mouth does things you didn’t know it could do, massaging your pillowy folds before diving tongue first into your wet slit. It was making you feel hot watching him as he watched you, intent on making you buck against him for more.
He welcomes it, grinding his raging boner into the mattress and groaning into your pussy. “So fucking sexy when you do that baby, drives me crazy,” he says through kisses with your swollen clit.
That same sweet guy is nowhere to be found as there's an insatiable monster between your legs that you willingly invited into your home. “Keep goin’ love, wanna make this sweet pussy squirt.” You’re his, hook line, and sinker.
ps: don’t worry, after this, he’ll go three more rounds with just his cock alone and you better be able to handle it.
KEI TSUKISHIMA … 9/10, only triggered if you can get him to open his big mouth. He was a quiet man. Stoic as he sat in the same chair, in the same corner, at the same café, every day at exactly 6 am.
He may have been the most beautiful person you’d ever seen. Well dressed with fair skin, golden eyes, and blond hair that made him stand out amongst the other patrons. Not to mention the fact he was ginormous, making the cafe chairs almost look like stools as he quietly checked his email. From over your shoulder, you watch him adjust his glasses, opting to look from afar but not touch.
It seems he doesn’t give you the chance though, approaching you as your heart beats loudly in your chest. He’s even more gorgeous as he grows close. His skin smooth like marble matches the stiffness of his face. “You seem to have a staring problem.”
At first, Kei thought you might have been a Frogs fan. That's the only possible excuse he could muster. Then he began to notice the lingering stares as well.
Excuse me— Did you just hear him correctly? You certainly didn’t mean him any harm, if anything it was a compliment. “And you seem to have an attitude problem, doesn’t seem like much can help that though. Goodbye,” you practically scoff before returning to your book and good coffee. What an arrogant fucking jerk.
Before he leaves, he drops a small piece of paper next to your cup. “Have a nice day, miss stalker,” you huff under your breath unfolding the small slip. ‘Maybe you can fix me. xxx-xxx-xxxx'
Since then, the only thing you two seem to do is argue. Especially when he’s stuffed eight inches deep in you from behind, “giving me so much attitude when you just needed a good fuck.” Him and that big fucking mouth, he must love hearing himself talk.
“if you wanted to get fucked like a slut then you could have just said so, brat.” He sneers, spanking you with considerable force behind his meaty palm. You’re Keis’ good girl, of course you can take it. He's trained you to do so.
“Sh-shut up and just fuck me Kei,” he loves when you talk to him like that, using his name like you own it. You’re wrapped around his finger as he bullies his girth into you.
“How can I when this greedy cunt’s not letting me go?” He’s right, within these four walls you’re his as you clench around him even tighter. “You can’t even fit all this,” he’s just inexplicably sexy, condescending yet so giving as he angles himself forward into the plush of your ass.
Pleasing you is an art to him, a deliberate one that he studies to get the best results. It’s brutal how fat his dick is, it matches his brash personality. “Go on, cum.” He says with sheer confidence.
Seconds later you’re unraveling before him as if it was pre-meditated. Like he instinctively knew when it was going to occur, permitting you before the act.
#haikyuu#hq#this is NOT what you all followed me for and honestly I’m just as surprised as you are#wipes a tear#haikyuu smut#hq smut#hq x reader#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x you#haikyuu x y/n#hq x you#hq x y/n#hinata smut#atsumu smut#oikawa smut#kageyama smut#tsukishima smut#tsukishima x reader#atsumu x reader#oikawa x reader#haikyuu fanfiction#kageyama x reader#oikawa x y/n#atsumu x y/n#tsukishima x y/n#I did have a lot of fun writing this#I miss this set up style for x reader works
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andrew always being at kevin's side because kevin needs it and andrew driving kevin to night practice and andrew patting kevin down to check for injuries and andrew promising kevin it'll be fine and andrew looking awake, interested because of kevin and andrew conserving his energy for kevin's quiet meltdown and andrew smiling for the first time without the drugs because of kevin and andrew always picking up when kevin calls
#my posts#my aftg posts#aftg#all for the game#tfc#the foxhole court#the sunshine court#kandrew#kevin day#andrew minyard#tearing my hair out climbing the walls chewing drywall#i've always loved kandrew in some way but a few weeks ago it's like a switch flipped#and suddenly i'm absolutely feral over them just constantly thinking about them /and/ writing fic#do y'all know that in some way andrew is the reason kevin started learning how to play right-handed#because they had a fight and andrew said he won't step foot on the court until kevin does as well#augh it's so interesting like how do you even come up with a dynamic like this
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"My friend, my partner… my Guardian."
#destiny#destiny 2#destiny the game#the final shape#the final shape spoilers#tfs spoilers#destiny art#bungie#the young wolf#hunter guardian#d2 ghost#fanart#it has been... eight hours since i did the final mission and my eyes are still tearing up every now and then :')#the finale was perfect for alfa and zeta - absolute perfect#i often make up small changes in the actual canon to fit their personalities better - not this time#I CANT WRITE TAGS WITHOUT TEARING UP DAMMIT#to think i first created alfa as a 'what if i make my hunter like alfarid from arslan senki but as exo'#but then she took so much from me i began to appreciate this side of myself#and zeta... what a grumpy little light w a big heart he came to be#my comics will never make justice to what they mean to me but here we are#THERE'S A LOT TO UNPACK ABOUT THIS DLC BUT IM OBSESSING OVER GUARDIAN/GHOST OKAY#anyway lemme write the alt already while i choke on coffee#cayde def is now everyone's guardian angel -ba dum tss-
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Bruh emotional support ghost kid? Well thats what they are calling him
Suicide cases in gothem are about to fucking plummet boiz cause this one weird blue eyes, black haired boy is now heading to your location.
How does he know where to be? Having a bad day and are all alone? No the fuck your not cause don’t turn around now but theres some shiny blue eyes coming at you from that dark ally. Oh shit hes here to drop some information about you and your lost loved ones that he should know. Oh god the closure. How could you have been afraid on this sweet, creepy, boy who just helped you find your way.
Meanwhile Danny is chillin in Gothem cause the GIW hate it there (none of they equipment actually functions in Gothem so it’s either super haunted or actually not haunted at all). Then all of a sudden he gets approached by a random ghost begging for his help because their sweet baby girl is about to do something horrible. Oops now all the ghosts are following their most loved ones around just to make sure they are there to rush to Danny for help when all else fails. Now hes getting to fulfil his protection obsession double time because one hes helping protect people from themselves and two hes protecting everyone in Gothem by stopping people from becoming villains for revenge. Plus he gets to see first hand how hes making a difference because all those people he saved are sending him some good vibes from all across Gothem.
Thank god he followed Jazz around so much to slightly absorb some of her phycology knowledge over the years. Plus it was actually pretty interesting so she gave him her old text books. Shes also helping him deal with the rare events where he can’t save someone. Just a moment too late or he stops them but they later succeeded in the hospital. Neither are his fault. Now only if he could convince his core of that.
Anyway why Gothem you ask? Amity Park would have been just as good tbh but imagine Batmans face when he finally gets to be face to face with the emotional support ghost boy. Why is he here? Bruce is fine. Batman is fine. Hes not gonna do anything crazy. It’s just a hard time of year. Around their death always gives him grief. But hes an adult and can manage it.
“You know they are so proud of you.” The boy states. As if it’s clear as day, even though it’s Gothem and never a clear day. Batman blinks at him, stunned for a moment. “What?” This boy can’t possibly know that. No one will ever know that, Bruce can only hope. “They see their home, full of such life. That big house that felt so empty, so cold, to them as well for years. Then you filled it with Family and Love like they had always wanted for you. They are so proud of what you have turned it into. Somewhere full of life and warmth.” A small smile graces his face as finally “you have made your parents so proud” and its all he can do to contain himself. Emotions are running high and sue him because he really did need to hear that ok. The boy suddenly looks to Bruces right with a confused face “aren’t all basements like that though?” Before Bruce can even get a word in hes gone. Just vanished before his eyes.
#danny phantom#danny fenton#dpxdc#dp x dc#batman#I just wanted to write danny walking up to the buggest toughest batman and make him cry tears of relief#danny is helping his subjects find closure while always feeding his protection obsession#let him be interested in his sisters word#also god imagine bruce just having a bad time of it cause is the anniversary of his parents death#than the ghost kid just walks up and tells him exactly what he needed to heat#yes they are proud of the word batman does#he knows he has saved lives#but what about him as a father#would his father be ashamed of his parenting skills#would his mother be discusted at how he treats his children#he always remembers his parents as good parents so he wants to do right by them by also being a good parent#anyone can risk their life for another but few can be a good father#actually it’s easy just love your kids and sont walk out and leave them with an insane bitch of a mother#dad im lookin at you#and dknt marry your fucking step sister dad#isnt our family tree circle enough. why must u follow in grandmothers footsteps#at least with him is marrage related aye?#oops im rabling about my daddy issues teehee
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"Tell me again."
Max hums, moving his hand in slow circles along Daniel's back, feeling his chest move against his side, his face hidden in the folds of Max's t-shirt.
He bows his head, pressing a kiss against Daniel's hair, shifting against the hotel's pillows until he's comfortable again.
"It's going to be sunny," he says, voice low, letting Daniel's curls tickle his lips and nose. "It's going to be sunset, orange, the trees all golden in the way you like."
Daniel's back shifts under his hand, his fingers twisting in Max's shirt.
"We'll be sitting in chairs, because you have old man knees, and would complain about sitting on the floor."
He twists away from the halfhearted poke in his side, then settles back.
"They will be those garden ones, the ones with the straw?"
"Wicker," Daniel corrects him softly, voice scratchy.
"Yes, wicker." He tugs Daniel even closer, not knowing how it is even possible. "With pillows, so you can curl in them like a little cat."
He smooths his hand down Daniel's back, like he does with Sassy, when she stretches out beside him on the bed, similar to how Daniel is now. Does it again when he feels Daniel's shoulders uncurl slightly.
"We will be drinking your weird beers, the expensive ones that taste worse than all the others."
"Craft beer isn't weird," Daniel argues, just like Max was expecting him to. He sounds like there's something stuck in the back of his throat, and Max kisses his hair again.
"It is weird, Daniel. Beer does not need to be that expensive."
He gives him space to reply once more, but Daniel doesn't.
"We will drink your weird beer, and we will talk about that time we ate pasta in your hotel room."
It wasn't just one time, but Max knows he doesn't need to specify. They're both thinking about the same one, illegal spaghetti ordered from room service, hidden from their trainers, sauce on the corner of Max's mouth, cleaned by Daniel's thumb first, Daniel's mouth later. And even if they aren't thinking about the same, it doesn't matter. Every plate of pasta shared, in every hotel room, would matter just as much, stepping stones in their story, just as important as that first kiss.
"And it will be rainy," Max continues, voice even lower. His t-shirt is damp, stretched by Daniel's tense fingers. Daniel's back is shuddering, even when he holds him closer and closer and closer.
"It will rain, and you will have a blanket, because you always get cold, even more when it is humid."
The thing that was in Daniel's throat is in his too now.
"We will talk about how stupid everyone was. We will say it was all unfair. But we will not be angry anymore, because it will not matter anymore."
Daniel's hair smell like Max's shampoo, even if he usually doesn't use it, because he hates how dry it makes it feel. Max can taste salt on the back of his throat as he shifts his head slightly, trying to at least keep his ears dry, now that his cheeks are a lost cause.
Daniel's breathing is a stuttered rhythm against his ribs.
"We will cook eggs," Max pushes on, pressing every word against Daniel's skin, hoping every one feels like the i love you that it is. "Because we will have chickens on your farm, like a real farm, so we will be good at cooking eggs. And you will drink your wine, and sing your songs."
His voice breaks, sudden betrayal, just as Daniel trembles in a sob, but Max pushes through. They've both always known how to push through.
"And I will ask are you happy and you will say yes," he says, making it sound like a promise, because it is a promise. "And we will not regret any of it."
He knows they won't. Not the angry moments, not the painful moments, not the annoying little moments they will never even remember. They will take all of them and throw them into the jar of their lives, little pebbles, and colorful marbles, and shards of glass smoothed out with time and love and distance, all mixed together.
"We will sit on your chairs, and they will have nothing, and we will have us."
He holds Daniel closecloseclose, because he's never learned how to let go of the things he cares about, has always clung to things with his teeth and desire bared, and he has no intention of starting now. He has no intention of starting ever.
Even if this is not the way he wanted things to happen, he doesn't believe in letting go, especially when it comes to Daniel.
He swallows, clears his throat to try and dislodge the tight knot of feelings there, raises a hand to swipe his thumb along Daniel's wet jaw.
"We will have chickens, and a garage full of dirt bikes, and I will ask Grace to teach me how to make the pasta sauce you spilled all over the carpet when you were five."
Daniel nods against his chest, fingers relaxing. His breathing is still uneven, Max's t-shirt is still damp, but he can feel him going lax against him, relaxing bit by bit.
"We will," Daniel murmurs, voice shaky enough it sounds closer to a question.
"We will," Max tells him, firm. Would be happy to tell him again and again, until Daniel's voice doesn't shake on it anymore. "We will eat so much food, and we will become fat, and we will be happy. We will."
Daniel nods again, then shifts, wiggling in Max's hold until he can properly climb on top of him, pointy elbows planted on the bed, above Max's shoulders, trembling fingers tracing the wet lines on his cheeks, red-rimmed eyes soft.
When Daniel kisses him, they both taste like salt, exhaustion and the future.
#i made myself cry and i don't even know if most of this makes sense#but yesterday i was crying because (among other things) i was scared i would not have been able to write again#and today i am writing again even if it's just a little thing#so hey one step at a time#maxiel#my writing#if there are typos blame the tears not me#i only wrote a single i love you in this but i hope you could read it in every line and i hope you know every i love you is for you too#and i hope you know we all will be happy too and we will not regret it and we will sit in the metaphorical tumblr porch#and the higher ups and media will have nothing but we will have them and we will have us#im gonna go be emotional somewhere else now
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Fanart of all that's said in the low light by headlocket
This fic will make you cry the most cathartic tears ever. Be sure to also check out the epilogue, in lieu of the bells 🥹🧡🧡
#I still can't read Johnny's poem without tearing up#it's been months#and the line “They'll always be blue” lives rent free in my head#thank you locket for blessing us with your art and writing <3#soapghost#ghostsoap#john soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#fic stuff#call of duty
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#rwby#rwby9#blake belladonna#yang xiao long#bumbleby#blake#yang#this gave me psychic damage#in the best possible way#I teared up before but this had me actively crying#I will write up a post later cause this just hit me so hard but please enjoy a gif#1k
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Linktober day 27: plants
I think zelda would be the type to keep sketches and research notes in her journals along with the more personal notes we see in totk/botw :) (also yes i did write several paragraphs entirely in the hylian alphabet and no i dont remember what the hell they say. good luck figuring it out)
#linktober#linktober 2023#botw#totk#tears of the kingdom#breath of the wild#loz#legend of zelda#skribbles#idk which was harder. drawing a semi-accurate botanical illustration of a made up video game flower#or writing several real paragraphs in a made up video game language. either way im crazy <3
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