#team sassy science

[sw33t-transv3stit3]

currently rewatching Hannibal. I’ve come to the conclusion that to truly enjoy this show, you need to realize that all of the characters are like. exaggerated loony tunes-esque characters that chase each other around with cartoonishly large hammers and have anvils/pianos dropped on their heads on a regular basis. Hannibal is the roadrunner to Chilton’s Wile E Coyote. Chilton will run directly off a cliff, blow himself up, have an anvil dropped on his head, and then stumble away with little bluebirds circling his head. He cannot be killed. I have also decided that Team Sassy Science are the Warner siblings from Animaniacs. Katz is Dot, Price is Wakko, and Zeller is Yakko. Despite white Yakko thinks, Dot is and will always be in charge.

[super-who-locked-me-in-here]

New Year New (Me)mes

[g1xtchedartist]

ive been sick all week and lost my glasses for a bit and the first raccoon of the year fell through the ceiling at my school so what better time to give you more hannibal textposts

[mismatchsocks]

beverly was the only one locked in in that lab. zellar and price thought everything was a fucking game.

[stripydottycat]

Will bustled into the BSU, looking perplexed.

“What’s up,” asked Bev, turning away from her desk.

Will sighed. “I heard one of my students refer to me as-“

He paused. Rubbed his eyes.

“As what? Unstable?” she grinned.

Will glared at her. She’d never forgotten that one.

“No.” He enunciated very clearly, the way he does when he’s annoyed. “They referred to me as a PILF.”

Bev was silent then burst out laughing, & called out to Price & Zeller in the lab next door.

“Hey guys, Graham’s a PILF!”

The duo appeared at speed, intrigued by Bev’s call. They laughed, because seeing Graham look so miffed was funny. Also, they could have fun with this.

“Professor,” suggested Bev.

“Profiler,” said Zeller.

“Pretty boy,” stated Price, nodding his head.

Will put his hands on his hips, shaking his head.

“Who’s a pretty boy?” asked Jack, walking into the lab accompanied by Dr Lecter.

Zeller pointed at Will who visibly shrunk into himself.

Jack raised his eyebrows. More ‘Team Sassy Science’ bullshit to deal with. He hoped this doesn’t end up with a stern talking to by HR.

“Enlighten me.”

There was silence, all eyes on Will. Dr Lecter cleared his throat.

Will enunciated to within an inch of his life.

“I overheard a student refer to me as. A PILF,” he spat out.

Jack’s brow furrowed for a moment before enlightenment hits. “Oh. I see. What does the P stand for?”

Will picked up his bag. “I’m done here,” he muttered and exited the room, visibly agitated.

Dr Lecter considered.

Thought to himself “Paracynictis selousi I’d like to fuck.”

Will threw himself into the seat of his Volvo after he'd stormed out of the BSU.

PILF.

He should have kept his mouth shut. Bev would never let him hear the end of it.

PILF.

Huh.

Will could think of a ℙ𝕤𝕪𝕔𝕙𝕚𝕒𝕥𝕣𝕚𝕤𝕥 he'd like to fuck!

And he was NOT thinking of Alana

[drarreckyninja]

Jack: *about a flayed corpse at a Ripper scene* I just can't understand how someone can do this to another human being.

Will: Oh, you'd have to have a strong knowledge of anatomy...

Jimmy: A well-balanced cutting implement...

Zee: One that really holds its edge…

Bev: A floor drain would be helpful.

Jack: ... that cleared it up, thank you.

[hannibal-promo-pic-battle]

battle #14

[foxcomesarunning]

Team Sassy Science HCs

Beverly Katz

Kind of a snob about tea, but chugs instant coffee

Voted “Most Likely to Be President” in high school

Worst handwriting on the team

Texts her sister every day

Jimmy Price

Rewatches his comfort shows all the time, especially Star Trek

His twin is fraternal and weirdly hot

Wine Mom who is also a man

Prolific birdwatcher

Brian Zeller

Cool Uncle to a swarm of nieces and nephews

Used to have panic attacks at work but got on meds and is doing really well, thanks for asking

Spends too much money on food delivery

Reads a lot of classic high fantasy novels

[backpackingspace]

listen listen I think the sassy science team including will should have been forced to carpool to the crime scenes.

[graciereadshannigram]

👑

"say three things you like about one of your fics"

anon did not specify which fic, but the fic that's coming to mind first and foremost is my Kinktober Day 2: Voyeurism fic, so without further ado:

i am a sucker for Will showing Jack exactly who he's become/who he's always been, there's something just so satisfying in Jack having to reckon with the fact that he had a hand in Will's Becoming

sex in front of a corpse!!!!!!!!!!

i really truly love how the Jimmy/Zeller POV at the end is such a tone shift, but it contrasts pretty well with the intensity of the rest of the fic :)

[bloodycraquelures]

I love them so much!!!

[klina12]

@byk23

Team Sassy Science enjoy the flowers 🌹🌻🌷🪷🌸🏵️

Tiny friends

Photographed by Miles Herbert

[mismatchsocks]

thinking of will, beverly, price, zellar, jack, alana, and hannibal just all being friends. like this genuinely rots my brain from the inside out.

sometimes i’ll be watching season one and whenever hannibal goes to a crime scene i like to imagine that he’s not a serial killer and he just likes hanging out with them. like he’s just happy to be included.

[drarreckyninja]

zee: yo! what's your body count? will: uhh.. 38! why? jimmy: dude, you are a WHORE. will: wait.. what kind of body count are we on about here? bev: people we've slept with? duh will: oh, in that case, 0. will walks off with hannibal in complete silence zee: wait a minute... zee: WHAT THE HELL DOES 38 REPRESENT?!

[backpackingspace]

I think given enough time zeller would have (extremely reluctantly ) come to like will.

[collapsingchurches]

8 works on ao3 for Freddie Lounds/Brian Zeller! This one is mine :3

Reblog and put your rare pair in the tags/comments! I want to see the depths people will go to create, for the most random two characters in the most obscure media.