#teacher quotes

[mothinabirdcage]

Actual real things my biology professor has said (part 2)

-“Just one uniform mush of exploded nucleus.”

-“If I were you, and every day I wake up ecstatic that I’m not, I’d write this out on paper.”

-“Child. (Kid: NADH?) a new child. A replacement child.”

-“You. Pat him on the back and tell him good job.”

-“Give me your favorite way to die.”

-“You wish you were a ninja turtle.”

-“Back to the horror that is plants.”

-“PSI is not as good as PSII, as all the gamers have appreciated.”

-“I think my IQ dropped saying that out loud”

-“Why is it green. That’s bad. Something very bad has happened.”

[miss-morgans-lover]

Do you ever have 2 teachers you ship so much that you have a whole ass backstory for it and constantly joke they are leaving to have sex in one of their offices?

Me and my irl friends do, so here's some quotes from it:

"Skinny twink" - about teacher 1 (@richiesnotaloserguyscmon )

"Listen, if any of them has gotta be a twink, it's (another teacher, teacher 2 is shipped with)"

"They're doing back shots" - on both (@richiesnotaloserguyscmon )

"(Teacher 2) just ran off after (teacher 1), you think they're gonna fuck again?" -Me, about both

Madi (I don't wanna tag you again), @alexx-87 and @edgarallanpoesbestie feel free to add some

[12-toads-in-a-trench-coat]

"There's way too much happiness in here. This is school. Quiet down."

-My Math Teacher i love this man

[student-quotes]

If you touch that, you'll die to death

The Physics professor

[the-adoring-beaste]

Things my British professor of Classical Greek has said during class that I find amusing:

"This is not a democracy, it is a benevolent dictatorship. Thankfully."

"English is a horrible language."

"The Greeks are very protective of their antiquities.....for good reason."

"Do you see what this language has done to me?" (writing ζ instead of z in an English word)

"Quite tasteless, the Romans. They've never been to Ikea."

[shitpostsofhistoryclassquotes]

My history teacher: Have y'all ever heard of the phrase easier than shooting a fish in a barrel? Well this is kind of like that, except it’s shooting Archduke Franz Ferdinand, in a car, in an alleyway.

Classmate: And there’s no reverse.

My history teacher: And there’s no reverse!

[faded-fuck]

"I'm giving you a box full of anxiety." -Mr. Durinick 11/21/22

[bellflowerpuddle]

today my teacher pointed at a math problem and said 'what the FUCK IS THIS'

[a-1-quotes]

https://a1quotes.store/motivational-quotes-for-teachers

Motivational Quotes for Teachers: 80 Favorite Teacher Quotes

[alexcybs]

Teacher Quotes #1

“To be fair, everything is edible. It’s just whether or not you survive after.” “For future lab lessons, [Name] please stand outside.” (Talking about the same student in the Bio quotes) — Chemistry (My classmate drank a mixture)

“I don’t care what you do, just don’t lick the [animal part].” — Math (Don’t ask)

“If another one of you brats(affectionate) says that [thing] falls at different rates on even though I said it didn’t , I’m going to commit defenestration on myself. And STILL FALL AT THE SAME RATE!” — Physics (We were joking with him, lmao. We’re not that dumb)

“Don’t drink the acid solution, I’ll get fired.” “Are you always like this?” “Please take your hand out of the hydrogen– Please don’t drink the [acid].” “[Name]! What did I just say. Don’t lick the scalpel!” “Chicken is chicken.” “Why are you drinking the forbidden chicken soup.” — Biology (Fun fact : This whole para is said to one student.)

“[Name], what the hell are you doing with the plant!” “Wave, wave. I wave your head away then you know.” “[Name], I know she’s your girlfriend and can’t stop starring at her but sit here now!” — History (She was not, in fact, his girlfriend)

“Stop acting like last years 3-6, you guys know what he did last year.” “Return the plants–” — Social Studies (She was talking about and to our senior in both quotes lmao)

“Here *hands a poem about birds dying* that’s your homework.” — Literature

“Please, stop fondling your friends hand.” “Your hands look like noodles. But uncooked.” — Theatre Coach

“[Name], you got to be more fierce! And go tell your classmates to clear the trash. If you can’t, ask [Name] to. She’ll do it for you.” — Homeroom teacher

“Your wood, doesn’t look like wood.” “[Name]! Watch your fingers!” “What animal is that suppose to be?? Let me see your theme again.” “Oh, I thought your theme was monsters QAQ. Sorry, haha…ha..” “Why is your side lamp design a cornetto(croissant) with a bow?” — Design n Technology

[dinomcstabby]

Out of Context Quotes From My APES Teacher

Our class calls him Benny and he's a terrible teacher and we all hate him ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

Everyone is inherently racist

Hard and dry and crusty

...Because it's really hard

She didn't go to collage. She just bred rats

And I was like oh man!

Ukraine equals bread

Dark, rich, and kinda black

Turd nuggets

Brrrrr it is frigid

You don't want to use this one because it's BLUE

We're not going to drink the dawn

It should only go up to your waist… unless you’re a midget

NO! REALLY?!

There was this PIT of DESPAIR

What if your kid fell down the hill and drowned? That would suck

*Response to a large paragraph explaining issues:* ok

Mental retardation, which probably isn’t the proper term anymore

You know what’s really fun? Throwing them in the dumpster and watching them explode

The only thing that was wrong was that the hot dogs were bloated

You’re going to kill a bunch of eagles

It’s always fun getting injected

Basically they pickled themselves

And then they come out of your butt at night and you get an itchy butt

Make sure you drink a lot of Windex

D for everyone’s favorite grade

Yay disease

You might have the ‘rrhea

I’ll tell you a story about my head

My head has a bunch of weird stuff on it

It’s full of nasty stuff I like, set on fire

I’m Pablo

Pablo’s Ark

You can go around and shoot them

Aw, look at the snakeheads! They’re so slimy, I wanna touch them

I’m a corndog! And we were like, you’re stupid

He’s probably on the spectrum

[miss-morgans-lover]

English Literature (Tragedy):

Class: *On phones during break between a two hour long class*

Teacher: *walks in and tells us to put our phones away, then says*

"I'm sure you were sending a tweet or a Snapchat on how much you're enjoying Death Of A Salesman or something"

(Death of A Salesman is fine, just very, and pretty unnecessarily sad. There's no saying it isn't a tragedy)

[12-toads-in-a-trench-coat]

"I've given you a week to write this. If you haven't then you are a potato."

-My English Teacher

[perfectquote]

I hope that you never, not even for one second, become a secondary character in your own story.

spanish teacher

[king-the-third]

My choir teacher tried to put a southern twang on a British accent, but it just turned into an Australian accent. That checks out.