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juhakx · 2 years ago

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Sparkle- Kim Sunwoo

Genre: Angst, fluff, royal!au, princess!y/n

Word Count:15.5k

Inspired by. that one vlive where Sunwoo learns the word ticklish <3

a/n happy birthday to the brightest Sun in the entire world, Kim Sunwoo. your eyes truly do sparkle.

Being the youngest child of three was extremely boring when it came to royalty.

“Sangyeon, please escort Yuri out to the gardens before we meet.” Yuri blushes at the King’s command, her hand enveloped by Sangyeon’s when he thinks no one is looking.

“God, they are just–” Chae steals a pastry from the kitchen and twirls, stopping just before her eyes land on Hyunjae.

You scoff, taking the pastry from her hands. “Both of you, completely incapable of procuring any common sense when men are involved.”

You’re pleasantly surprised when you take a bite of the pastry, realizing that it was mango-flavored. Your favorite.

“You’re just saying that because no boy has ever shown interest in you. Nor have you ever shown interest in a boy for that matter.” Chae shakes out of her stupor, eyebrows furrowing when she realizes that her pastry was taken from her hands.

“I will have you know that plenty of people have shown interest in me,” You scoff, crossing your arms. Your mood had instantly plummeted, Chae’s remarks and the fact that you had devoured the mango pastry within seconds being the cause.

It wasn’t that men weren’t interested in you. In fact, you and Juyeon had dated for a whole three weeks. That was until you realized you didn’t like him and merely liked that he would bake you cookies. He realized it too.

Chae’s response is ready on her tongue but she gets cut off. The clock chimes seven, vibrating throughout the castle. The guards begin to escort you to the meeting room as it was the most important day of the week. The weekly briefing happened at the same room, same day, same time, and with, for some reason, the same people.

You. Chaewon. Yuri. Your father.

Discussing the kingdom.

For a Friday evening, the content of today's meeting was even more boring than you expected. The rain was making it difficult for the farmers to create good produce. The neighboring kingdom was getting ready for a spring ball. The trip to acquire more horses was a success. If your father wouldn't scold you for it, you might have even let out a yawn.

Peering down at your fingernails, you can't help but pick at them. Your sister's hands were always painted red but because you liked to help the bakers, it would have been redundant knowing how easily they chip amidst the kitchen.

"King! Your majesty!" A royal guard you were somewhat familiar with, Jacob, bursts through the doors, heaving.

"What is it, Jacob?" The King immediately stands, his eyebrows furrowed. Even you shifted to the edge of your seat, ready for something that wasn't the weather forecast. If a guard barged in without permission, something more significant must be going on.

"We found him."

Immediately, your father straightens his back, a grim look on his face.

"Bring him in."

The doors open wide, two other guards dragging in an unidentifiable male. His curly black hair was covering his eyes, and from the looks of his clothes and the shackles around his wrists, he was either homeless or part of the lower class. He was covered in dirt and from what you could make out, even blood. It made you feel silly sitting on a throne next to your sisters while it was clear that this man was in need of dire help–money, a fresh set of clothes, something better than how he was being treated currently.

"So, you're the thief."

You inaudibly gasp, the reality of the boy standing in front of you settling in.

He had been the topic of many weekly meetings. A thief. First, it started with stealing bread, then it got worse. Suddenly, expensive items from houses were being stolen. Artifacts from libraries. There had been no news of him recently, just that the thievery kept happening. Well, no news until now.

He shakes his head, his hair settling onto his forehead and out of his eyes. You suck in a breath.

He was gorgeous.

His eyes were a pretty brown. Now that you could see them, certain mirth pooled in them. His eyelashes were long, time almost moving in slow motion as he blinked. There was nothing to compare to his bone structure, it was unfair, really.

You snap out of your enamor when he begins to chuckle.

“The one and only,” He smirks.

Chae scoffs from beside you, but you can’t help but examine his face once more. As if he can sense your eyes on him, his eyes snap toward yours.

Your eyes widen, but he doesn’t react. His smirk only widens. When your father realizes he’s looking at you, he walks forward and blocks your view from the chained man.

“If you care about your life even the slightest, then you will look only at me and address me with respect.”

It was times like these when you realized just how intimidating your father, the King, was. He was able to switch from the man who raised you for 13 years on his own after your mother died with so much love and compassion to someone you could barely recognize. He was always cruel when it came to criminals.

“You see, your majesty, when did I ever say I care for my life?” He spits out. Even though there was venom in his voice, the smirk on his face remained.

The King doesn’t say anything in response. Instead, he examines his face as if he was searching for an answer.

“Fine,” The King says, backing away. “Tell me your name.”

Not a question, but a command.

The unnamed man doesn’t respond. You can’t help but mentally plead for him to start listening to your father. He could be a cruel man and there isn’t much you can do if he doesn’t cooperate.

Before you can blink, the King takes his boot and slams it against the thief’s chest, sending him flying backward. The shackles around his wrists remain intact, but the grip the guards have on him doesn’t. He’s closer to the door now and if he wanted to, he could have attempted to flee. But instead, he starts laughing maniacally as he lies on the ground, facing the ceiling. You grimace and look away.

“You have no right to know my name. You treat your kingdom like shit and leave the poor to fend for themselves. A true king would already know the name of his citizens–” He pauses, cocking his head to the side. “Especially one that’s a thief, no?”

Chae scoffs once again and you wish that sometimes she would simply keep her mouth shut. You glance at Yuri on the other side of the King’s throne. Her gaze seemed analytic as if she was waiting to see how this would play out. As the next queen, she must feel entitled to do so. All you can hope is that she sees the truth behind this as well.

He, and many others, were suffering and the kingdom was doing nothing to help.

“Jacob?”

“Kim Sunwoo. Born April 12, age 23. The firstborn with a younger sister, age 11. Both of his parents died when he was 15.”

The thief, who you now know is named Sunwoo, stares blankly at the King’s face. You can tell from where you’re sitting that he’s biting the inside of his cheek as if he was contemplating something.

“Kim Sunwoo, I think you are underestimating my power.”

“I think you’re underestimating how loyal your dogs are.”

Your breathing stops, ready for the King to do his worst. If he just didn’t fight back.

“Fine,” The King pauses, walking up to Sunwoo’s sprawled body. “I declare Kim Sunwoo charged with the capital offense of trespassing on private property, stealing food, jewels, and official artifacts. He is to be hung for his crimes.”

Your breath catches in your throat. Even for the King, this was extreme. He hadn’t even heard Sunwoo out yet, not that Sunwoo pleaded for him to do so. It still wasn’t fair. And it made you sick.

Sunwoo doesn’t react and you don’t expect him to. This seemed like someone who hadn’t been granted kindness before. You wait for Yuri to say something. You had already lost all faith in Chae after hearing her unsaid thoughts earlier. Yuri would say something. You’re sure she will.

You glance over at Yuri but she remains still, her hands clasped over her crossed legs. It’s not until the King mutters something about taking him away that you realize something must be said, and no one would say anything but you.

“Stop!” You find yourself blurting out.

Sunwoo’s head snaps up to you. However, your face remains on the King whose eyebrows raise at your defiance.

“You can not do this,” You dumbly say.

“Oh, I can and I will,” The King shakes his head and glares at you as if to say ‘We will talk about this later.’

Well, what could you lose now?

You stand up. “He’s an orphan, Father–your majesty. He has a younger sister who he takes care of. You can not possibly think death is justifiable for someone who is merely trying to survive.”

If Sunwoo won’t plead, you do.

“Please. I have not asked much from you, your majesty, but I ask you to rethink this.”

It seems to be working for just a second. For just a second, you can see him pondering your suggestion.

“Take him to the chambers. Y/N, I would like to talk to you privately.”

It didn’t work.

Sunwoo’s being taken to the chambers where the guards will prep for execution and then he’ll be hung and it will be nobody’s fault but your own for not trying hard enough.

“Please, Father–”

“I said I would like to talk to you privately!” His voice booms, echoing throughout the room. The guards take that as their queue to leave, taking Sunwoo by his hands and dragging him out much similar to the way they brought him in. His eyes don’t leave your face once.

Yuri and Chae are escorted out as well, but you can’t even focus on the fact that you were now alone with your father.

Sunwoo is going to be executed. He is going to die and all that will be left of his family will be a little sister who no longer has parents or a brother. One who will have to bear the repercussions of your own father’s doing.

“You have made a grave mistake, speaking out like that in front of the guards. You have made it look like I have raised an uncontrollable youngest daughter who does not listen to her father, the King,” He scolds, his voice firm. However, even you know this tone well. His earlier mask was removed. He didn’t sound like the King, he sounded like your father.

“I’m sorry,” You genuinely say. You want to say more, but you don’t. You could say so much more.

Your father waits for a second, looking at you expectantly. “Well? Is that it?”

You burst.

“You’re right, you didn’t raise a daughter like that. You raised a daughter who is compassionate and cares for others and doesn’t dismiss the people of her kingdom when there are so clearly asking for help,” You breathe out. Your chest feels lighter as if you had just let out a secret. Finally, you felt like you were working towards something.

The King thinks for a few seconds, clearing his throat to break the silence.

“I’m trusting you with this. You have one shot. Any further disrespect from you or him will not be tolerated.”

“No.”

“Sunwoo,” You start, ready to beg. You hold onto one of the bars to crouch on the floor opposite his cell. It was dirty and grimy, but you didn’t care. You can bribe the guards monitoring you to not report this back to the King later.

“You do not know me well enough to address me,” He plainly says, staring into your eyes. Seeing him up close, he was even prettier than before. He was still dressed in yesterday’s clothes, but if you could pull this off, he would be able to completely transform not just his wardrobe, but his life.

“Fine,” You huff. “Sunwoo-ssi. Mr. Kim. All I ask is for you to think about it. If you don’t agree, he will execute you and this time it won’t just be a bluff or a cover-up.”

Sunwoo straightens his back that’s leaning against the wall. He uses one of his hands to push himself forward so he was sitting directly in front of you. If the bars weren’t between you, you would be merely centimeters away. You can feel his cool breath fan against your face.

“I will not work for the same kingdom that has put me and my entire family in the situation that we are in. My parents are 6 feet underground because your majesty could not get his head out of his ass for longer than 5 seconds to realize that his people were dying.” His eyes blaze. “Kill me. Hang me. I do not care, but I will never stoop so low as to pretend that I care for the wellbeing of the King.”

You pause, taking in his words. You didn’t realize just how deep his hatred ran for the King. You almost wanted to lash out and explain how your father was nothing like that, but as soon as you took another look at Sunwoo’s face, you couldn’t do it.

“You can leave now,” Sunwoo tilts his head towards the guards as if you couldn’t find the exit on your own.

“I know I’m not the future queen, but I have influence,” You reason, sliding your hand down the bar and steading yourself by placing a hand on the ground. Your calves were starting to burn from crouching, but at this point, it didn’t even matter. “I will talk to the King and Yuri. Tell me what you want to be changed and I will help.”

Sunwoo stares at your face, his eyes searching for something. You feel your heart stop beating when he grabs onto the bars of the cell, his left hand just above yours. He scoots even closer, making direct eye contact with you.

“Why?”

You blink.

“Why what?”

“Why help me?”

You find it getting harder to think with Sunwoo’s proximity, so you shuffle a bit further before taking a breath. Sunwoo quirks an eyebrow at you, amused.

“Well, because I want to,” You state simply. “What good are we doing if there are people suffering in our kingdom?”

You notice a quick flash of surprise pass Sunwoo’s face before he responds. “And what about my sister? Right now she’s staying with a friend, but she can’t stay there forever.”

“She can stay here as well. I am not sure of her interests but if she likes to bake, she could always help the bakers with me or she could help you with your daily tasks. You can bring her here yourself.”

Sunwoo seems appeased by the idea, knowing that there would be a safe place for the two of them to stay.

“But–” You begin, causing Sunwoo to immediately put his guard back up. His face becomes stoic as if the condition you were going to say would counteract everything good you were offering. “I convinced my father to let you go and come back on your own, but that doesn’t mean people won’t be watching your every step. You could–I mean you could try–to flee, but it won’t work. This is all I could do for you and I’m asking you to take advantage of it. The alternative will always be better than death. For you and for your sister.”

Sunwoo’s hands drop from the bars at your words, almost appalled by your honesty. You can even hear the guards shift at your admission. There was no reason for you to be trying so hard for someone you didn’t know, but there was something different about Sunwoo. He could teach you a great number of things, about parts of the kingdom you had never seen before. He could initiate actual change. Whether he knew it or not, his life was worth something greater than simply surviving.

You rise, dusting your hands off on your dress.

When you turn to leave, you hear Sunwoo loud and clear.

“Thank you, Princess Y/N.”

Sunwoo comes back. He comes back three days later with one bag in his left hand and his sister’s hand in his right. You try not to breathe out a sigh of relief but it escapes your lips when you watch him enter past the front gates (which you definitely weren’t watching from your window.)

“I can not believe Father let you do this,” Chae mutters under her breath, working her way down the stairs in front of you. You would have pushed her just strong enough for Hyunjae to break her fall if it wasn’t for your guilty conscience.

Even Hyunjae lets out a hum of agreement as if it was absurd for your father to grant such a request.

“Believe it or not, he has a lot to offer,” You begin, ready to defend Sunwoo.

“Like the stolen items?” Chae snorts, immediately smiling when she sees Hyunjae smile at her attempt at a joke.

“He already returned those,” You stop when Chae does, realizing that Sunwoo would be coming in any moment now. It mildly infuriated you that he would have to see people who belittled him upon his entrance. “Also, I would refrain from speaking ill of him around him,” You fade into a whisper, “Because who knows what could fall from my lips in front of Hyunjae.”

Chae gasps but it’s swept into the air as the doors to the main entrance of the castle open. Though Sunwoo came in with no guards accompanying him, as you promised, that didn’t mean that they didn’t stiffen in his presence.

Sunwoo’s younger sister, Nabi, from what you gathered, seemed to display a million emotions on her face at once. It went from awe to fear to wonder within just seconds. When her eyes land upon you, her eyes widen a little.

“Sunwoo,” You breathe out, unintentionally forgetting there were people all around you. You clear your throat. “Sunwoo, I am glad you made it back safely.”

Even though Nabi was years younger than you, you barely have to lower yourself to speak to her. She seemed to have the same genetics as her brother–tall, black curly hair, tan skin. The similarities were uncanny.

“And who might this be?” You ask, wanting Nabi to introduce herself.

“Nabi. My name is Nabi,” She speaks clearly, her head lifting in confidence. “And you are Princess Y/N.”

You nod your head in assurance, smiling lightly. Nabi smiles back as well, but your attention drifts to Sunwoo. An unfamiliar look crosses his eyes before he shakes his head as if he was breaking himself from a trance.

“I asked her what she would want to do if we decided to come here and she said she would love to pick up baking. I recall you saying you spent some time in the kitchen because you liked to bake as well so I am sure the two of you will get to know more of each other.”

Nabi shakes her head vigorously, agreeing with him on something that seemed only apparent to her. “My brother told me that the one with long hair and darker eyes was you and that you were the kind one who liked to bake,” She continues to nod, leaning in closer to you so only Sunwoo and you could hear her. “He said the one with short hair was mean and to stay away from her.”

“Nabi,” Sunwoo scolds, pulling her closer to his side as if you would take her away from him because she spoke ill of your sister (not that it wasn’t true.)

You glance over at Chae who was watching your every move. At this point, it was just the guards, Sunwoo, Nabi, Chae, and you left. Hyunjae left a bit ago, probably to inform the King of Sunwoo’s arrival.

“What did she say?” Chae immediately stiffens, realizing that you were talking about her.

“She was commenting on how pretty all of us were. She said she liked your hair,” You immediately reply, smiling at Chae. A little white lie won’t hurt. Even Nabi must sense not to correct you because she shyly peeks up from behind Sunwoo and simply nods.

“Oh,” Chae breathes out. “Thank you.”

When the silence begins to settle in, you reach out for Nabi’s hand, gesturing for her to come forward. “Come, I will show you where you will be staying.”

“Nonsense,” Jacob steps forward, holding his hand out. “I can guide them to their rooms.”

“I will show them,” You tightly smile up at Jacob. Though Jacob was a kind guard, you can’t help but remember the time that he spewed out information about Sunwoo’s past in front of the King for him to use against Sunwoo.

Sunwoo’s grip on his bag tightens but he gently releases it once Jacob lowers his hand.

“Yes, Princess Y/N.”

Nabi settles her hand into yours as you begin to lead the way to where the two of them would be staying. The castle itself was gigantic and although you found yourself lucky enough that your father allowed Sunwoo and Nabi to stay here and redeem themselves by working in the castle, he was still wary about Sunwoo’s proximity to your rooms. He pushed for Sunwoo and Nabi to each have their own rooms in a different wing of the castle.

“This place is so big,” Nabi murmurs. You look back to watch her expression and it seems Sunwoo looks over at her too because a wide grin adorns his face.

“Wait until you see the kitchen,” You reply. You hear her shriek from behind you.

Sunwoo laughs and it immediately brings a smile to your face. What a beautiful laugh.

After a few more minutes of walking, you were brought to the rooms Sunwoo and Nabi would occupy.

“This is Nabi’s room,” You open the door, and Nabi immediately lights up.

“Sunwoo,” She stays by his side, tugging at his sleeve. “Am I dreaming?”

“No, Nabi,” Sunwoo chuckles. “Go, check it out.”

Nabi runs into the room, running her hands along everything. The dresser, the bed, the desks. When she opens her dresser, a few dresses litter the inside.

“I was not informed of your size so I gathered some old ones from the three of us. We should be able to get you tailored pretty quickly so everything will fit you.” You pause, “Well, unless you do not wish to dress in clothes like this because I know they can be quite uncomfortable if–”

Sunwoo's hand brushes your arm and you immediately stop talking.

“This is great. Say thank you, Nabi,” Sunwoo calls out to his sister who is off in her own world.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Nabi nearly shouts, taking out a purple dress that used to be Yuri’s when she was younger. “Don’t you believe this would look amazing on me?”

“Go wash up and try it on,” You encourage, nodding your head toward the bathroom. Nabi gleams in response. “I will show Sunwoo where he is staying in the meantime. He is just across from your room so he won’t be far. Call for me if you need any help, alright?”

After Nabi basically kicks the two of you out of her room to utilize her new bathroom and try on her new wardrobe, you close the door to give her some privacy. You turn to face Sunwoo but he doesn’t back away, keeping you trapped against the door.

“Your room is just–” You try, lifting your hand to gesture to the door behind him. Sunwoo stops you once again, placing his hand on your elbow.

“I might regret saying this, but you were right. Nabi, she–” Sunwoo pauses, looking over at the shut door. “She deserves something like this. She deserves something good and I am grateful for you giving me–us, a second chance.”

He glances back over at you and you pause at the sight of his eyes. His once stormy eyes were brighter. Lighter, even. Like beneath the storm peeked just the smallest ray of sunshine. There was something new in his eyes.

Hope.

Nabi was an extremely passionate baker.

That did not mean she was any good.

"How was I supposed to know how much sugar it needed?" Nabi wails, putting her head in your lap when you sit for a break. It had been approximately one week since Sunwoo and Nabi had arrived and four days since Nabi began baking with you.

You hadn’t seen much of Sunwoo around except in passing. After you showed Sunwoo his room, he almost made it his mission not to interact with your family, especially the King. He kept his distance, still upholding his responsibilities. And because the King had a certain vendetta against him, there wasn’t a second where he wasn’t running from one side of the castle to the other, delivering items, restocking cabinets, or even cleaning after meals.

He always took two meals into his room, the other for Nabi who also didn’t eat with the other workers. You wanted to ask Nabi about it, but she didn’t bring it up so you didn’t want to make her uncomfortable. However, sooner or later, you needed to talk to Sunwoo. You needed more information on where to start helping the area he was from.

“Nabi, how did you manage to get flour all over you?” You ask, giggling when noticing the absolute mess Nabi had made. Haknyeon, the main baker, left the kitchen as yours for the night and you wanted to give Nabi some extra help so she could be more comfortable in the kitchen. However, it was evident that more than a night’s work was needed before she could get there.

“Well, looks like Nabi is enjoying herself,” You pause at the voice.

“Sunwoo! Sunwoo! Look what Y/N made,” Nabi gleams, pointing at the banana pudding you made earlier with Nabi. In the process, flour falls from her hands, littering the floor.

“Nabi, can you please wash up,” You ask, reaching for a couple of towels to clean the mess up.

“Let me,” Sunwoo immediately steps forward, taking the towels from your hands before you can argue.

“Sunwoo, you have to try the pudding Y/N made. I tried to follow the steps and it definitely did not taste the same. Maybe the bananas were better in the other batch.”

“Yes,” Sunwoo elongates the end of his word. “That must be it.”

Sunwoo gets up from the ground after cleaning the mess. For someone who had been avoiding your presence entirely, he didn’t show any indifference.

“Thank you,” You nod your head at Sunwoo and he smiles. “You should really have some of the pudding.”

Sunwoo pauses.

It was impossible to tell what was running through his head. He almost seemed uncomfortable being offered pudding.

“Here,” You offer, picking up the pudding and taking a spoon of it, holding it to his mouth. “I know I made it, but I promise in my completely unbiased and honest opinion that it is really good.”

A small smile appears on Sunwoo’s face but he still appears hesitant.

“You don’t have to–” You begin, lowering the spoon. Your lips begin to turn downwards and you’re ready to spin at your heels, highly embarrassed.

Before you can completely lower it, Sunwoo lowers his head and wraps his lips around the spoon. Your mind blanks for a fraction of a second as you watch Sunwoo’s lips move against the curve of the spoon, pulling away.

Even though he backed away, the image of Sunwoo’s closed eyes in your near proximity remained. He must notice too, because he lets out a little laugh, snapping you out of your daze. You finally lower the spoon.

Nabi breaks the silence, her hands finally clean.

“Well, did you like it?”

You turn around, your cheeks flamed. Oh, that was so embarrassing. It would be surprising if you ever showed your face to Sunwoo again.

“It was very good,” The smirk on Sunwoo’s face was evident. God, you would rather he go back to ignoring you. How he went from bashful to confident in seconds was beyond you. “Being fed from the hands of a pretty princess, my how my luck has changed.”

Your eyes widen. You decide to make yourself busy organizing the leftover pudding cups. Not that they needed to be organized, but no one needed to know that. As long as your back was to Sunwoo, you were safe.

“You think Y/N is pretty?” Nabi asks, taking a bite out of a pudding cup she picks up from your tray.

“Of course, Nabi. I think Y/N is very pretty. Don’t you?” Sunwoo talks as if you weren’t in the room and you’re somewhat glad because your face was burning so brightly that if he was addressing you, he might think you were having a heat stroke.

“She is very pretty. Is that why you told me that–” Nabi gets cut off, Sunwoo clearing his throat loudly.

“Now is a very good time for me to make my way to bed. Nabi, you should go to bed soon as well.”

Before Sunwoo can move, you speak up. “Actually,” You begin, “I needed to speak with you.”

Your back was still to Sunwoo so you couldn’t tell his reaction nor even begin to predict what was running through his mind.

“About what?” Sunwoo’s voice goes back to his ‘I refuse to feel any emotion or acknowledge the fact that I’m living here’ tone.

“I wanted to hear your input, you know, about somewhere we can start. To help the others,” You turn.

You watch him let out a breath of relief.

“Tomorrow, at noon. Can you meet me in the gardens?”

Sunwoo hesitates. “I have–”

“I’ll take care of it. You have the day off tomorrow. We need to begin planning,” You smile at him. A genuine smile so he knows you’re being serious.

“Alright,” He breathes out. He repeats, “Alright.”

You arrived 15 minutes before you were supposed to. You told Sunwoo to arrive at noon, but when you arrived, you cursed yourself for coming earlier. It was starting to get extremely cold out, and you wished you had chosen somewhere indoors to have this talk with Sunwoo, but no place was as beautiful as the castle gardens.

That, and after you got permission from your father to speak to Sunwoo, he told you to do it outside so the guests wouldn’t see the interaction. You wanted to say that if the royal guards cared so much at seeing you talk to Sunwoo, they should take a good look at–

“Princess,” Sunwoo greets, causing you to turn around. You immediately flush, or your cheeks were already pink because of the cold, you couldn’t tell.

“Hello,” You greet, sitting down on the bench now that he was there. “Come, take a seat,” You gesture.

He takes a seat on the same bench as you, but you don’t fail to notice how it’s on the opposite end. You found yourself grateful that he wasn’t any closer.

“So,” You begin, turning your head towards him. “I was thinking you could tell me about your childhood, or the way you grew up. Or if you don’t want to tell me, you could tell me about what you saw others going through. I just want to know the best way I can help,” You sincerely say.

Sunwoo nods his head, listening intently to your every word. It takes him a minute of contemplating before he begins.

“Before my parents died, sorry–” He pauses, clearing his throat. “We were never well off, even before my parents died. My father worked in the fields as a farmer and my mother couldn’t work because after having Nabi, she became extremely weak. Almost as if breathing was enough to make her life tiresome.”

You press your lips into a straight line. Sunwoo refused to look at you, staring at the grass as he spoke.

“I tried to help as much as I could, but even then it wasn’t enough. One day, my father came back from the fields, coughing terribly. We thought it was just a cold or, sometimes, when he smoked cigars with his friends, his lungs couldn’t take it but he would recover within days. Apparently, there was a disease spreading among the field workers. My father was one of the first to catch it. You don’t understand Princess Y/N,” Sunwoo turns to you, a wild rage in his eyes. “It spread like wildfire. We all caught it. Somehow, it didn’t hit the younger children as hard. After I recovered, I nursed Nabi back but within days, both of my parents were just–Dead. Gone,” Sunwoo’s voice cracks. “Your King–Your father–you know what he did? He called in for more field workers and burned the bodies.”

Sunwoo’s heaving at this point. God, you want to reach out so badly. Put a hand across his for comfort, but there was nothing you could do to make something like this okay. To know this was happening–to know that your father knew this was happening.

“I had to watch them burn my parent's bodies. I was only fifteen! Fifteen for God’s sake!” Sunwoo gets louder, and not before long, there are tears falling down his face.

“Sorry, sorry,” He repeats, wiping his face with his sleeve. He turned back so you couldn’t face him.

“Do not apologize,” You whisper. Your heart breaks at his admission. You feel tears begin to form in your eyes but push them away. This was something Sunwoo had to carry on his own for years. It would be selfish to cry. “Sunwoo–” You frown. You watched Sunwoo’s shoulders slump.

You scrambled for ways to console him. “I–It’s–”

“It’s okay,” He breathes heavily, turning back to face you. “It was years ago. But if you wanted to know why I–Why I loathe every fiber of the King’s being. Even if he’s provided me with this life, none of it would have ever happened if the conditions he made people work under were safe and provided people with proper care,” A broken smile reaches his face. “You know the rest. I couldn’t care for Nabi and work and still provide us shelter and food and water. So I stole. Then I sold it. And now I’m here.”

His eyes were swollen, and this time you did reach out. You brush a stray hair out of his face and cup his cheek in the process. Another tear rolls by and you wipe it away.

“I know I can’t make this okay, but I will find a way to help. And I will get you out of here. I know how much it must hurt living here and taking orders from–” You pause, not wanting to speak of him. “Give me some time to come up with something.”

Sunwoo chuckles, taking the hand that rested on his cheek into his hands. “Believe it or not, but this isn’t the worst place I have had to live. Not to mention, Nabi loves it here. I don’t see the King often. I tend to get my orders from Sangyeon and all he does is speak about Yuri. I have you to thank for where we are now and though I would take back what happened in a heartbeat, there are worse fates out there. And you were right,” He whispers. “I was very close to becoming subject to one of those. So thank you. For everything.”

You nod, your cheeks flushing once again. Sunwoo’s effects on you were nearly instantaneous.

“You have the rest of the day off, to do as you please. I am sorry you don’t receive more of these days. I know my father runs you rampant.”

A small smile appears on his face. He plays with your fingers that reside in his lap. “I am almost thankful for it. It keeps my mind off things. I also run into you every blue moon, which is most definitely the highlight of my days.”

Your eyebrows furrow, confused. “Me? You avoid me as if your life depends on it, Sunwoo.”

This time. Sunwoo appears confused, tilting his head to the side. You try not to notice that he was still holding your hand.

“Trust me, Princess, I am never avoiding you. In fact, I try to seek you out more days than not.”

Your head falls forward and your lips part. He had to be playing with you.

“Sunwoo. That can not possibly be true. I mean, every time I even look at you you turn your head the other way.”

Sunwoo’s cheeks darken at your words, and you immediately wish you could take them back.

“Oh,” He breathes out. “That.” He lets go of your hand.

“I am sorry, I did not mean to embarrass you or–,” You shake your head, looking for the right words. “You are in no way inclined to look at me, I mean–I do not mean that you have to acknowledge me, besides that sounds absolutely outrageous–”

Sunwoo cuts you off. “You intimidate me,” He admits.

“Intimidate you?” You immediately say, even more confused than before. “Me? I would get it if you said Chaewon intimidated you or even Yuri considering she is in line to become queen, but… Me?”

A shy smile appears on his face. “I can hold myself together just fine with your sisters. Yuri is even kind to me. But…” Sunwoo trails off. “I want to look at you, and trust me, I do. But when you look back–”

Sunwoo gets interrupted by a guard, calling for you. You grimace, wishing you had more time with him. You wanted to know what he had to say even though you had a feeling where he was going. When you looked at him, it always felt like time stopped. Like you were transfixed by the stars in his eyes.

You begin to get up and Sunwoo watches your every movement as you do. Before you leave, you faintly touch his shoulder.

“Sunwoo,” You murmur. He looks up at you. “Thank you.”

The stars in his eyes make a reappearance.

It felt like the darkest night of the year. Everyone knew why. When it felt like it got dark much earlier and sunlight rarely filtered in, it could only mean one thing.

It was snowing.

You watch the flakes begin to fall from your window. Even though it was dark out and many had already gone to bed, you couldn’t help but watch the snow. Winter was your favorite time of the year, the snow reminding you of the memories you have of playing outside with your siblings and parents before everything changed. Before Yuri had to worry about becoming Queen or Chae’s only focus in life being Hyunjae. Before your mother died.

If the timeline added up, you realized that Sunwoo’s parents died right after your mother did. You couldn’t relate to Sunwoo in many ways, but you saw the way your father grieved when your mother died. He became angry all of a sudden. To everyone. The last thing you wanted to do was justify his actions, but it pained you to remember him like that. But it also pained you to see Sunwoo the way you did this past week. God, as if your life couldn’t get any messier.

You had spent the entire week in your room. Contemplating. Thinking. Slowly, a plan began to form in your head. Before you brought anything to your father, you wanted a full-fledged plan ready, all the way down to the minor details. He would have to listen, especially if you got Yuri in on it.

Something pulls at your heart as you continue to stare outside. It had been years since you last played in the snow. It was with your mother. She would throw a mean snowball. The corner of your lips lifts up at the memory.

Before you can think it through, your feet are leading you out your door. Yuri would be asleep, an early morning ahead of her. Chae was out of the question considering you could already hear her complaints run through your head. There was only one person you wanted to see anyway.

When you finally get to the other side of the castle, you raise your hand, ready to knock. It stays there for a second as you contemplate knocking on his door. There was a lot that could go wrong. But, the possibility of him agreeing made your heart surge with hope.

You knock on his door.

When a few seconds pass, you realize he isn’t coming out. You frown, disappointed. He was probably asleep. You turn at your heel, beginning to walk away from his door.

You freeze when you hear the door handle wiggle.

“Princess?” Sunwoo calls out, confused.

When you turn, the first thing you realize is that his chest is bare. You control yourself by looking nowhere but his eyes. You did notice the trousers that seemed to be put on in a rush.

“Sorry–I–” He seemed anything but sorry with a small grin on his face as he watched your eyes accidentally drift below his neck once more. “I was not aware you were at my door. Is something wrong?”

“It’s snowing,” You dumbly say, remaining outside his door.

“I–” He pauses, his eyebrows furrowing. “I know, I saw.”

There was a moment of silence, causing Sunwoo to speak. “Is there something wrong with it snowing? Do you not like snow?”

“I love the snow.”

Sunwoo lets out a laugh at your answer, realizing you were still mildly in a trance. You shake your head lightly, hating the hold Sunwoo’s stomach had on you. It wasn’t your fault, really, considering his chest was extremely defined and it’s not like you didn’t not expect it to be defined but it was much better than how you imagined in your head and his arms also looked really–

“Do you wish to go outside with me?” You blurt.

“Now?” Sunwoo asks, unsure. He leans up against his door, rubbing his left eye.

“No.” You immediately say realizing he must definitely think you’re absurd if he knew you wanted to go play in the snow well past midnight. “I meant– Later..? Or the day after. Anytime. You can. If you want to. That is.”

You feel the earth begin to crumble below you as Sunwoo’s grin transforms into a full-blown smile. “Let me put on more clothes.”

Sunwoo closes the door and you release a breath of air, slouching now that he could no longer see you.

“So embarrassing,” You whine to yourself, shuffling to the wall next to his door to lean your forehead against it. “You are so embarrassing. It is a shock that you are allowed outside of your room. In fact, you are the furthest thing from royalty this kingdom has ever seen. You–”

The door opens to Sunwoo’s room and you back away acting as if the last minute never happened.

“Ready?” He asks, holding out his hand for you.

You smile, letting your worries leave your body. “I will have to lead the way.” You wanted to take Sunwoo through an exit that was unknown to many.

“Lead the way, Princess.”

When your boots first make contact with the snow, you can’t help but smile at the crunch. Outside, the landscape was even prettier than through your window. There was a certain glow that twined the sky because of the snow. You wanted to stick your tongue out like you did when you were a kid and feel the snowflakes stick to your tongue.

You turn to Sunwoo and softly smile, noticing the awe on his face.

It isn’t long until you venture further, feeling the snow brush up against your fingers as you sift through it.

Whether it was the fact that everyone was asleep but the two of you or that you were playing in the snow like little children, neither you nor Sunwoo could stop laughing.

“That is a terrible attempt at an angel,” Sunwoo laughs, pointing at the ground. Underneath the moonlight, his eyes truly twinkled in a way that left you breathless. You couldn’t even bother to jab back at Sunwoo for making fun of the angel you drew on the ground with a stick.

“Try this,” He begins, laying down on the ground. “My mother taught me this. If you just–” He wipes his hands back and forth on the ground and gets up. “Look, an angel.”

You tilt your head to the side, furrowing your eyebrows yet smiling at his creation nonetheless. “It does look like an angel. At least, it does when I tilt my head and then close my eyes.”

Sunwoo gasps, twirling around so he was face-to-face with you. “Take it back!”

“Absolutely not,” You giggle, realizing he was inching closer to you. You run the other way, knowing his intentions.

“Get back over here!” Sunwoo laughs, running after you. You attempt to run through the snow however your nightgown made it extremely difficult to do so. Even though you were used to the cold, you can’t help but shiver as you stomp through the snow. The impending presence behind you was definitely a factor.

The side of the wing you were outside of resided for guests, so thankfully no one could hear you shriek as Sunwoo grabbed your hand, causing you to twirl around.

Sunwoo lets go of your hand way too quickly for your liking and you can’t help but frown when he does.

“Caught you,” He whispers, smiling up at you through his lashes. “An apology is definitely in order. My angel was beautiful.”

You stutter, feeling panic begin to arise at his proximity. He looked so beautiful underneath the moon that it was almost criminal. He brought his hand up, brushing his curls out of his face. “Beautiful, yes.” You breathe out.

When Sunwoo laughs, you’re almost offended.

“Stop!” You complain, pushing him slightly. “You are so unfair. And–And–Stop doing that!” You turn around, crossing your arms across your chest and frowning.

Sunwoo ceases laughing after a moment and he gently holds your elbow, nudging you. “Stop doing what?”

“Your eyes,” You move forward, out of his grasp. You flail your arms out, annoyed. “You–Your eyes have–You always–They are pretty. And you look at me and they sparkle.”

You cover your hands with your face, realizing you were making absolutely no sense and were definitely making a fool out of yourself. You feel him move from behind you, his body heat traveling in front of you.

He takes one of your hands off your face first, bringing it down and holding it. He repeats the same motion with your other hand.

He does it again, that stupid thing with his eyes where they twinkle with something that you just couldn’t put your finger on. It was infuriating because there was no reason for you to find this grown man cute but, you do. He was cute but also beautiful but also pretty and it was infuriating.

“Sparkle?” He questions, a grin on his face. “What does that mean?”

You begin to shy away, thinking he’s making fun of you again but the tilt of his head and the glint in his eyes makes you understand that he’s being genuine.

“Stars, in your eyes,” You try to explain but it comes off as more of a question than a statement.

He hums, nodding his head. He lets go of your right hand, brushing a hair that fell in front of your eyes. You pause, holding your breath as if you were afraid to move.

“If they s-sparkle?” You nod your head, encouraging him with the word. “It is because I am looking at something so bright.” He smiles, letting go of your other hand as well.

Before you’re even given a second to breathe, Sunwoo backs away. “It is getting colder, you should go inside and get some sleep.”

You nod your head, hoping that he can’t hear the rapid beating of your heart.

You sneak back in, Sunwoo diverging from your path when he gets to his room, leaving with a lazy smile and a quiet goodbye. When you arrive at your room, you change out of your clothes and lie in your bed, a smile on your face the entire time.

Books littered your bed. You continued to flip through them hoping for something that you could make for Yuri’s birthday that was coming up. There were plenty of cooking books in your library but you had flipped through most of them already with it being a tradition that you bake something every year for your sister’s birthdays. Between figuring out a plan to bring up to your father and Yuri’s birthday, you’ve been extremely busy.

You groan, hitting your head against the bed as you sat on the ground, closing yet another book. When you hear a knock at the door, you call for them to come in, helping yourself up off the ground.

“Princess Y/N.”

You visibility stutter, looking up to see that Sunwoo was the one who had entered your room.

“Sunwoo,” You breathe out. “Hello.”

“Hello,” He greets, peeking behind you and smiling at the disaster that was your bed. “Doing some light reading?”

A blush arises on your face. “Well, I have to figure out what to bake for Yuri’s birthday. She’s having a ball in a couple of days and I was going to choose something to serve at the party.”

Sunwoo nods his head, a spark of realization running across his face. “Your father sent a letter earlier? I believe. I was supposed to retrieve it.”

You blink, trying to remember what he was talking about. It didn’t help that as usual, Sunwoo looked devastatingly handsome. He was simply wearing a white tunic, but there was something about the shirt that made him stand out.

“Oh! Yes, it’s right here,” You turn, aiming for your nightstand before you realize that if you give the letter to him right away, he would leave and you wouldn’t get to speak with him. “Actually, I was thinking earlier.”

“Well that can not be good,” Sunwoo laughs. You roll your eyes, turning back around to face him. You step a little closer.

“This is something that may be of interest to you, Kim Sunwoo,” You pause, smiling at him fondly. “I have a plan.”

“What about?” He questions.

“I had an idea for helping the farmers and the others in your area,” You pause, waiting to continue. When he gives an approving nod, you begin.

“I wanted to start with providing the extra produce and food to those who need it. Just as something small. And then, maybe building a few safe houses of sorts with extra food and water. Someplace people can just stay if they need it. With an area for people who need medical attention as well. I was thinking–” You move your way around Sunwoo. You can’t help but be animated, your hands gesturing the extent of your plan. “I was thinking we start by hiring people who need work to run it along with some of our own staff to ensure everything’s being run smoothly. And then others can help farm the food for the shelters and help build them too. Obviously being paid for their work because it would feed into our own economy but also help them and–”

Sunwoo’s smiling so wide that you have to stop yourself from talking. You must be making a fool out of yourself, yet he doesn’t stop you once or laugh.

“Sorry, I haven’t discussed this with anyone yet. I just started thinking about it. But, I think it’s a place to start,” You breathe out.

Sunwoo takes a step forward, his hand brushing up against yours. “I think it’s a great place to start.”

It was almost like you were oblivious to the fact that your heart was beating so fast in Sunwoo’s presence but you were so aware now that it nearly hurt to think about it. Sunwoo made no further advances, instead staying rooted in his spot with that stupid loving wide smile on his face and you’re sure if he didn’t back away now, you were going to do something stupid like kiss it right off his face.

“I didn’t think you had it in you,” Sunwoo says, breaking the silence.

You furrow your eyebrows at the admission. He didn’t think you had it in you to come up with something like this? You promised you would help and you hadn’t even done much to actually help yet.

“Your standards for what you think I can do must be really low, then.” Though you say it jokingly, Sunwoo must notice the hint of insecurity behind it because he searches your eyes before taking a step forward and taking your hand in his.

There was no way you were going to make it out alive from this.

“That’s not what I meant. I think you are capable of great things, but I have to admit that you don’t fit the perceptions I had of you in the beginning.”

“And what were they?” You question, tilting your head to the side. Sunwoo squeezes your hand as if to assure you. You wonder if his heart was as beating as fast as yours.

“How about I tell you what I think of you now?” Sunwoo takes a step closer, his warm breath fanning against your face. Your eyes widen at his proximity and Sunwoo must sense your unease because he squeezes your hand again before grinning.

“What do you think of me now?” You whisper.

“I think you’re not what you seem. I think people expect you to be docile and obedient and sit there and look pretty. And oh, how well you do the latter,” Sunwoo breathes out, letting go of your hand to trail his finger up your arm. It’s the most you’ve ever heard him say at once and you don’t interrupt him, not even the goosebumps arising on your skin diverting your attention. “But there is so much life in you that it is physically impossible for you to keep it contained. You burn, Princess. You burn so bright that I think it’s stupid that I ever thought differently.”

“Sunwoo,” His name comes out shaky from your lips as if you couldn’t get ahold of it properly. So you repeat his name, firmer this time.

“Hmm,” He hums, his eyes taking in every part of your face.

“What are you doing?” You blurt out, mentally cursing yourself when Sunwoo takes a step back, assessing the situation.

“Ah,” He exhales. “I’m sorry. I seemed to have crossed a line that I shouldn’t have.”

Sunwoo continues to back up, in clear disarray.

“Sunwoo,” You call again as he turns his back to you, ready to leave your bedroom. “I never–I never said you were crossing a line.”

Sunwoo expels a breath at that, turning back around relieved. You shoot him a small smile because, in the end, you understood where he was coming from. Way too quickly did Sunwoo infiltrate your thoughts, and how badly you wanted him to cross much more than just this imaginary line he had in his head. But before he could do that, you needed something definite. Something that proved Sunwoo wanted you just as much as you wanted him.

Sunwoo chastizes himself. “I seem to lose myself around–” He pauses. “Pretty. Faces.” He grimaces at his own words, and you were glad that even Sunwoo could make a fool out of himself.

You let out a laugh.

“I thought I was more than just a pretty face?”

This time, Sunwoo laughs. A real laugh, one that leaves his cheeks littered with a pink blush.

A sudden knock disrupts your time with Sunwoo. You want to open the door and tell whoever it is to dare and knock on your door again, but Sunwoo backs away. He picks up the letter from the nightstand before looking at you one more time.

“Just so you know,” He pauses, smiling. “My heart’s burning too. For different reasons, of course.”

It was becoming a regular thing for you to see Sunwoo around. He made frequent trips to the kitchen, trying out what you and Nabi had created. Nabi was also slowly getting better, and her presence in the kitchen less of a hazard. Now, you could joke with her about how truly terrible she was in the beginning. With Yuri’s birthday in two days, the two of you worked diligently in getting the pastries ready and they were finally topped and refrigerated.

It was a long day and your father was out, leaving just the three siblings to eat dinner. The guards never ate with you and neither did the staff, which left you to sit as you watched Sangyeon and Hyunjae talk to your sisters from the sidelines as you ate.

Today, however, you invited Nabi and Sunwoo to eat with you guys. Sunwoo was hesitant at first, but Nabi begged at his side, wanting to see what the dining hall looked like. Sunwoo could never say no to Nabi, which you were now regretting as you all sat at the table.

“Nabi, how is baking going?” Yuri asks, a small smile on her face. Though Yuri rarely acknowledged Sunwoo’s presence and Chae visibly glared at him every time he walked by, the two of them adored Nabi.

“Good! I truly enjoy it so much.” The smile on Nabi’s face is enough to get you to ease up.

“You know how I told you I was looking into something you can do in your free time? Well, I’ve been speaking with the King about getting you some educational lessons as well when you’re not baking. What do you think about that?”

Nabi gasps in excitement and you’re glad that there was someone who cared for Nabi in the same way that you do. You were unaware that Yuri was encouraging Nabi when nobody was looking.

Even Sunwoo sends a grateful smile aimed at Yuri. She shyly smiles back.

“Well, as long as we’re focusing our effort on Nabi, I think our resources are allocated in a beneficial manner.” There’s a tone in Chae’s voice that has you on high alert. You could tell where this was going.

Sunwoo doesn’t say anything but you can see his jaw clench as he takes another bite of his bread.

You now wish that he was closer than he was. The one problem with having a large dining space was that there were enough chairs for nearly a village. You sat next to Yuri while Chae was on the other side of her. Sunwoo and Nabi sat opposite the three of you with Sunwoo directly across from you.

You wished he was next to you so that you could console him better than a reassuring glance. You wanted to put your hand atop his or even intertwine his fingers with yours. Something that reinforced your presence.

“It would be useless to spend time and money on an educator on someone who–Oh, I don’t know–dabbled in, thievery, for example.”

“Chae,” You snap, dropping your fork onto your plate. “Stop.”

“Oh, please.” She turns to you, rolling her eyes. “One would think you wouldn’t make the mistake of defending a thief twice. What kind of image are you portraying to your kingdom?”

“Can we please just enjoy our meal?” Yuri begins, annoyance laced in her tone.

You remain quiet, looking up. There’s a frown on Nabi’s face as she watches Chae. You glance over at Sunwoo. He seemed indifferent but you could clearly see the resentment in his eyes.

At your lack of commentary, she instigates once again. “Don’t tell me you feel something for this insipid–”

“That’s quite enough,” Hyunjae interrupts from behind Sunwoo, his position at the door wavering. He takes a step forward. “Chae.” A warning flashed across his face and Chae leans back into her chair, Hyunjae using her name in front of everyone being the thing that stopped her from continuing.

Sunwoo abruptly gets up, motioning to Nabi. He doesn’t say a word but she gets the hint, getting up and taking her half-eaten plate with her. When they’re seconds out the door, you push up out of your chair as well.

“I have met dogs more behaved than you,” You mutter. “Next time I expect common courtesy and respect, I will make sure not to expect you to be there.”

Once you leave the dining room, you search for Sunwoo but it doesn’t take long as he latches onto your wrist from where he was hiding behind the door.

“Sunwoo, I’m so sorry–”

“Thank you.”

Your eyebrows furrow in confusion. “For what?”

He lets go of your wrist, cupping your face. Your cheeks flush, overwhelmed by the sudden proximity.

“For defending me. For being so kind,” His eyes flicker between your eyes until they finally rest upon your lips. Like he knows that he shouldn’t, his eyes flutter closed, leaning his forehead against yours. Your heart feels like it’s going to burst out of your chest. You were proud of being the one to elicit such a reaction from him, but you don’t think you’re faring any better. He seemed to be at war with his thoughts, trembling. “You make me so weak, Princess. So, so, weak.”

And as if the words freed him, he lets go of you, backing up.

“So weak,” He repeats, one more time before turning around and retreating to his bedroom.

Yuri’s ball was tonight. Typically, you loved dances. They were a night where you could dance, laugh, and enjoy yourself without having too much attention on you. Tonight, however, as you prepped yourself for the ball, you couldn’t help but frown as you waited for the help you asked for to arrive. It was foolish, standing in front of the mirror with your corset wrapped around you, but you couldn’t tie the strings properly. This seemed like the breaking point of your week considering how yesterday went. You didn’t even want to think about what happened.

You talked to the King. To your father. As much as it felt wrong to retell Sunwoo’s story, you had to. The pain behind Sunwoo’s words was real and you had to make the King see.

And so you did.

He admitted his faults, which was surprising for you and for all of those present in the throne room that Friday evening. He ended the weekly meeting early after you declared his faults in front of your sisters and the guards, and as much as you thought he was going to yell at you when he dismissed the meeting, instead, he apologized.

Which was shocking for all.

But the most shocking part of it all was how easily the King realized your fondness for Sunwoo. Your mind flashes back to his words.

“Y/N, I hope you do not take my mistakes in the past as a way for you to become careless. I have vowed to make things right, but you have grown too close to Sunwoo too quickly. Sunwoo was and always will be a thief. Until he makes amends for his mistakes and shows that he is capable of something greater, I do not want you speaking to him.”

You begin to interrupt him, but he cuts you off.

“I will look into your request, but if you wish for him to remain in this castle, you will distance yourself from him.”

It nearly repulsed you to listen to his words. The same Sunwoo everyone made out to be a villain was so gracious and kind and loving. You thought back to last night and how you didn’t want to think it in the moment, but you wanted him to kiss you. Just the thought of him doing that now after your father’s warning released a visceral reaction in your head–a pounding that you swear could only heal if Sunwoo actually put his lips against yours or if he once again, like last night, stuttered his weakness centimeters away from your face.

A knock disrupts your thoughts.

“Come in.”

It was supposed to be a maid, one of your sisters, anyone but who actually knocked on the door.

“Hello, princess,” Sunwoo grins. You can spot him from behind you in the mirror and you watch his grin falter as he scans your body. He acts, however, like yesterday didn’t happen. You don’t encourage him, letting yesterday fall to the back of your mind.

“I thought you were someone else,” You breathe out, holding tightly onto the strings of your corset behind your back. Your frown grows just a little deeper. Your hair was brushed off to the side, exposing your upper back. You felt trapped. If you made any sudden movements now, Sunwoo would think you were averting yourself from him which is the last thing you want right now. However, it’s what your father would want–would advise. His words repeat in your head.

Being around Sunwoo was suffocating, and all you could think about was him.

“Sorry to disappoint,” He scans your body once more, taking a step closer.

“I needed–I need help,” You clear your throat. “With the strings.”

“Do you wish for me to do it?”

You contemplate all the possibilities of how this could go wrong. Someone could walk in. Your father could find out that you didn’t listen to him.

The moment of hesitation causes Sunwoo to clear his throat, readying to exit.

“Yes, please,” You murmur.

You watch from the mirror as he makes his way forward, an undecipherable expression on his face.

His hands brush up against your bare upper back, his hands straying from the strings. Starting from the top, he trailed his finger down your spine down to the beginning to where the strings started. Goosebumps arose on your skin and the only sound that could be heard in the room was the two of you breathing.

“You must realize how hard it is for me to contain myself around you. You make it so hard for me.”

His fingers finally move to lace up the strings.

When he pulls, you swallow, your mouth suddenly feeling dry.

“What do you mean?” You whisper.

When Sunwoo doesn’t answer, you don’t say anything else, almost afraid that if you said something, it would break whatever barrier he had up. Whatever walls you had surrounded yourself with. Somehow, you knew that if either of you made another move, there would be no going back.

Your father’s words repeated in your head once again.

When Sunwoo finishes, you realize that Sunwoo’s not moving. He was letting you decide where this was going next. You could either thank him and let him leave, or act on the one thought that has been plaguing your mind since you first saw Sunwoo.

You turn, facing him. Your faces are mere inches apart. If you wanted to, you could lean in and finally kiss him. After all, it was your decision to make. Sunwoo was leaving it up to you.

“If you wish for him to remain in this castle, you will distance yourself from him.”

“Thank you,” You say, looking into his eyes. His intentions were clear after those two words, backing away so he can head for the door. You wouldn’t have noticed his disappointment if not for the way he blinked before he moved away as if he was breaking out of a stupor.

“Sunwoo,” You call out before he can turn his back to you. You had made up your mind to let him go, but it felt wrong with the way he was leaving.

“Don’t do this,” Sunwoo shakes his head. “You thanked me, now I’m leaving.”

It was as if he was trying to convince himself that this was for the better. You didn’t want him to think you were toying with his emotions, but even you felt torn.

“Kiss me,” You blurt out. It was the opposite of what you were supposed to be doing. You were supposed to distance yourself from him, but even now, the few feet he was standing away from you seemed too far for your liking.

When Sunwoo doesn’t move, his eyes wide at your request, you plead, “Please.”

That has Sunwoo moving across the room, closing the distance between the two of you in seconds. He cups your face in his hands and crashes his lips against yours. This was what you had been waiting for. There was no other moment in your life that could be compared to the euphoria you felt when Sunwoo’s lips were on yours.

He doesn’t waste any time, trailing his hands down from your face so that they’re on your hips. Your hands rested against his stomach, the same one you had been dreaming about since the night you knocked on his door and he answered, shirtless.

He pulls away, resting his forehead against yours. “Is this okay?”

You nod, kissing him again as he lowers his hands beneath your thighs, lifting you up. He pauses to bite your lip, causing you to gasp against him. He smiles, “Words, Princess.”

“Yes–Yes, this is okay,” You breathe out.

Sunwoo lays you down on the bed and as he latches his lips onto your neck, you feel your breathing begin to heavy. His shirt rides up as he moves down to your collarbones, kissing down. You try so hard to contain yourself but feel your resolve begin to quickly crumble when you feel the first brush of his bare stomach against your hands.

“Can I–” You begin, wanting to finally feel him, but Sunwoo cuts you off.

“Yes,” He breathes out, kissing back up your neck so that he is face to face with you. “Yes.”

He’s kissing you again and you only wish he wasn’t so you could see where you were touching. You moved your hand further up, pushing his shirt higher until you could feel his chest against you. When you rake your nails against him, he parts, gasping.

“We should–You should,” His eyes dart between yours and the door. “You should finish getting ready for the party. For Yuri.”

You furrow your eyebrows when he pulls his shirt back down, darting for the door.

“Sunwoo–” You begin.

“This was a bad idea,” He mumbles, exiting the door as quickly as he got up off you.

When Chae comes to get you later, you claim to be sick. You make an appearance for the part of the ball where Yuri cuts her cake and tries the pastries you made for her, but when you retire to bed early, you truly do feel sick when seeing Sunwoo unbothered and attending to the guests.

Distancing yourself from Sunwoo came easily after that. Not only because you were extremely embarrassed and didn’t want to face him, but because Sunwoo was nowhere to be seen. Nabi still spent time in the kitchen, finally honing in on becoming a pretty decent baker. She still talked to you as if nothing happened between you and Sunwoo, so you wonder if he even told her anything. It was better this way anyway considering if he did tell her something, it would most likely be to stop spending as much time with you.

Your father was more than happy. It was almost like the two were inversely related–your happiness and how everyone else was doing. However, you couldn’t complain knowing that he finally began working on your request to help the villagers. The construction had started a couple of days ago and you and Sunwoo were supposed to ride into the site to see everything. You obviously weren’t going to be alone. The King had multiple precautions in place including putting Juyeon in charge of the visit with strict instructions.

It didn’t matter. The last thing you wanted was to be alone with Sunwoo.

“You look miserable,” Juyeon says once he enters the carriage. The ride would take approximately an hour, and you were grateful that you overheard your father telling Juyeon to take his place in the carriage. The smaller carriage typically seated two and although you felt bad for seating Sunwoo with the rest of the workers, you knew that even if you wanted to, the King would never allow Sunwoo to sit with you.

“You have such a beautiful way with words to this day.” It had been a couple of months since you last saw Juyeon and although there was the awkward period of time where you guys tried dating, that never changed the friendship between you two.

“Y/N,” Juyeon states. The carriage finally begins to make its first movements forward and you hope that Juyeon won’t force you to speak with him for the entirety of the trip.

“Yes?”

“Look at me.” Something about the way he said it caused you to actually look over at him. You don’t fake a smile or pretend to be anything but you truly were–in a constant state of embarrassment and sadness.

“Do you want to explain to me why the King has detailed instructions on why I am to keep you far away from Kim Sunwoo?”

You turn your head at his name, not wanting your face to give anything away. Juyeon doesn’t let you stay like that, taking his hand and turning your chin towards him, making you look at him.

“I am sure that the King gave you his reasons. Told you that he was a thief,” You mutter. You found yourself saying thief with malice, unknowingly defending Sunwoo even when he wasn’t here. Even when he wouldn’t care for it.

“Does he have any reason as to why your hands have been shaking for the entirety of the time that I have been in here? Or why I was able to notice your eyebags and how I can physically see your eyes drifting out of focus.”

“Juyeon–” You sharply state. “I am fine. I am well. You have no business looking for something that doesn’t exist.”

Juyeon scoffs. He was always like this. He was stubborn and never backed down. It’s why you were able to be friends with him after all this time. He always gave you the truth.

“You can’t fool me. I care about you. I always will,” He takes your hand in his. “I’m not looking for something that doesn’t exist, I’m seeing something that exists and could be so good for you and watching you turn it into something that’s hurting you.”

“You don’t understand, Juyeon. The King–” You begin.

“You know what I have to say to the King?” Juyeon smiles a smile that you hadn’t seen in a long time. The same mischievous smile he would get when you were kids and he knew he was doing something he shouldn’t be doing.

He lets go of your hand.

“Stop the carriage!” Juyeon yells out. You blink, confused.

Juyeon exits, talking with the person riding the horse. The bigger carriage behind you stops as well, carrying the rest of the workers. You watch Juyeon smile, turning around and winking at you before making his way past. Your eyebrows furrow.

It’s not until you see someone climbing out and Juyeon taking his place do you realize what he was doing.

“Oh, if the King finds out about this, we’re both dead Lee Juyeon,” You mutter, watching Sunwoo hesitantly walk towards the carriage. You turn back around, hoping to seem unaffected by staring ahead.

“I was told to be seated up here. Something about knowing the terrain better..?” Sunwoo, although confused, waits for your permission before entering. You nod your head, not knowing what else to do.

You stay silent from his entrance up until the carriage begins to move again.

Sunwoo is the first to break the silence.

“So, who was that?” He asks with an awkward lilt in his voice. You shake your head, annoyed.

“Juyeon,” and just to make him angry, you continue. “Chaewon claims we’re going to get married.”

Sunwoo stiffens. “Oh, does she?”

“I’m sure we will. The men I tend to be interested in do not seem to reciprocate, so it only seems fair to arrange to marry him.” This is exactly why you didn’t want Juyeon to leave you alone with Sunwoo. You didn’t have enough time to practice like you didn’t care about Sunwoo or what he said to you.

Sunwoo’s sharp intake of breath makes you realize that you definitely crossed a line.

“Sorry. I’m sorry, I should not have said that. Juyeon is just a close friend.”

“Princess–”

“Listen. We should agree to just be civil with each other,” You turn to face him for the first time since he entered the carriage. It takes everything not to tear your eyes away. He was still the same, beautiful Sunwoo. “I understand that you do not want anything to do with me, but I have a standard to uphold so a little civility is needed.”

You don’t expect Sunwoo to argue, and he doesn’t.

It’s quiet once more.

“Your hands are shaking,” Sunwoo points out after a moment of silence.

“Sorry,” You mumble, clasping your hands together. Juyeon was right.

You notice him continue to stare at your hands, so you attempt to change the topic.

“Nabi has been doing really well. She seems to enjoy baking as much as I do. Soon enough, she will be able to–”

“I do not know who told you that I do not want anything to do with you, but that is not true,” Sunwoo interrupts.

The air suddenly feels colder, not helping the fact that you are visibly shaking now, almost like it extended from your hands to the rest of your body.

“You did, Sunwoo. You told me you did not want anything to do with me,” You blurt, turning to him. “We kissed. And then you turned away like you were disgusted with what you just did. You said that you should not have done that and then never spoke to me again. Tell me, does that sound like you want anything to do with me?” You whisper.

“I’m so sorry,” Sunwoo whispers back, placing his hand against your cheek. “I’m sorry. I want everything to do with you. I–” It looked like he was fighting with himself. “I tried so hard, but I can’t pretend anymore.

It’s only when you feel his hand on your face that you’re able to relax. You close your eyes, leaning into his touch.

“I’m tired, Sunwoo.”

“I know. I’m sorry,” He repeats. When you open your eyes, his eyes are searching your face. He leans in, softly placing a kiss on your forehead. He was still cupping your face and you held onto his wrist, hoping to be just a little closer to him.

“I wanted to apologize the moment I said it,” He whispers against your skin. “When I entered your room, I was just responding to the request for help you called for, but as soon as I saw you,” He pauses, his eyes searching yours to help convey the words he left unsaid. “Your father pulled me aside before the party and told me that I was to not speak to you anymore. If not, the terms were over and I would not be allowed in the house anymore.”

You try to pull away from his touch, shocked by his statement.

“No, it’s okay,” He reassures as you begin to argue. “I’m done pretending. I hurt you and that is something that I will have to live with. I don’t intend to hurt you again.”

He looks into your eyes, the same sparkle in them that you loved so dearly.

“Let him kick me out. At least I will leave knowing that I got to know you.”

The first order of business once you were back from the visit was the weekly meeting.

And within that weekly meeting, you were going to tell your father about what Sunwoo liked about the construction and what he didn’t.

The both of you agreed that there was no point in risking his safety, so you were extremely careful sneaking into his room at night. It was easier to get to his side of the castle without getting caught than risking Sunwoo being in your room.

It was annoying, being in a constant battle of wanting to be with Sunwoo and then going behind your father’s back. But, there was no denying that you were falling for Sunwoo. You’re sure that if the King knew the real Sunwoo, he would be just as thankful for him as you were. Not to mention, the positive publicity your kingdom was getting thanks to the renovations that were occurring. Sunwoo was bringing so much light into the kingdom.

As you did any night you couldn’t clear your head, you were baking. You were almost done with your batch of muffins when you hear someone clear their throat.

It was Chae, in her riding gear. If there was someone Chae loved more than Hyunjae, it was her horse. Like baking was your therapy, riding was hers.

“Going out?” You question. It was difficult, conversing with her. After that ill-fated dinner, you barely regarded her. However, even you knew better than to disrespect your older sister, even if she deserved it.

“I just came back, actually,” She trails off, her eyes wandering through the kitchen. It was almost like she was looking for something, but there was nothing in the kitchen that was of interest to her to begin with.

“What are you looking for?”

She places her hands behind her back, rocking on her heels. “Oh, you know, just seeing if there was a 5 foot 10 man with black curly hair and really wide eyes hiding in here.”

You furrow your eyebrows. Was she onto you and Sunwoo? And why did she seem almost… shy?

“No, I have not seen Sunwoo–Chae, what is this about?”

“Baekgwang, he… I went riding without Hyunjae–don’t tell him that–and I guess I must not have been paying attention but Baekgwang ran off and Sunwoo…” She trails off as if she expects you to know the rest of the story.

You shake your head, annoyed. “Chae, please. Did something happen to Sunwoo?”

“He was out there, tending to the garden out there and he got on Yuri’s horse and brought him back. I was looking to see if maybe, he was here. To tell you what happened or–”

You realize what she’s insinuating, but Sunwoo wasn’t like that. Sunwoo did good deeds out of the kindness of his heart, not to gloat or brag to you so that he was favored.

“I have not seen him, but if I were you, I would thank him,” You shrug.

Chae clears her throat, stepping forward. “I did. Maybe he’s–” She pauses.

“He’s not as bad as I thought.”

She turns to leave, but quickly adds something else before she does.

“I saw you both. In the gardens last night before I went out to ride. He looks at you as if the entire world could be seen by looking into your eyes. I think–I think you should tell Father.”

You pause, slightly concerned that you were spotted so easily, but almost glad that it was Chae.

You purposefully face away from her, taking the muffins out of the oven and moving them to the countertop. “It doesn’t matter. Father said he wants me to stay away from him. He doesn’t care that–”

You pause, fiddling with the muffins. To stall, you break a piece off and chew on it. All your attention was on the muffin that you don’t notice Chae getting closer and putting a hand on your shoulder.

“Doesn’t care that what?”

You take a shaky breath, admitting it aloud for the first time to someone other than your own mind.

“That I’m in love with him.”

A week passes since that night. Things have been both the same and different. Still, you snuck out when you could to see Sunwoo. Those were the times you were the happiest. His presence was comforting and warm. You even call him “Sun” now, a nickname that always makes him blush. To avoid the King, you rarely mingled in the public eye, but Chaewon and Yuri had entered the kitchen many times as Sunwoo was “strolling on by.” Chaewon was definitely acting differently. She didn’t glare at Sunwoo every time she saw him anymore, and you had even heard her teasing with Hyunjae–positively–about the two of you. Hyunjae must have heard that the two of you were together through Chae and Yuri told Sangyeon everything, so he knew as well, but neither had made the attempt to tell the King.

You were content. Now, whenever you baked, you had a lovesick smile on your face. The same smile that adorned your face as you made fruit tarts with Nabi.

However, the silence and your peace are quickly broken.

“I talked to the King,” Nabi blurts out, continuing to stir the mixture. “About you and Sunwoo. Princess Yuri and Princess Chaewon were there too. And Sangyeon and Hyunjae. And some guy named Juyeon. And Jacob. ”

“You what?” You look up, alarmed. Nabi mustn’t find the situation as extreme as you did, however, because she continues to stir, without a care in the world.

“What did you say? What did he say? What did they say? What could you even have talked about?” You ramble, admittedly extremely confused. Your heart was beating at rates that were far from human, but Nabi didn't budge, just standing there.

“Fruit tarts?”

You stagger at the new voice, one you know all too well.

“Father,” You breathe out. “What are you doing here?”

There’s a small smile on his face, one that was reserved for just his three daughters. There was a side to him that no one else knew.

“I had a chat this evening,” He begins, wandering around the kitchen as if there was a particular interest he found in the cabinets. “Nabi was there and she made some very good points. She was also very convincing.”

“Convincing of what?” You plead, nearly in a frenzy for unsaid words. It was like Nabi and the King were sharing an inside joke which is completely preposterous considering you hadn’t even known they acknowledged each other until this very moment and–

“Chaewon claims that Sunwoo has changed. She entered today with a whole panel of witnesses, actually. All with very convincing arguments on why I should give Sunwoo a chance–a real chance.

You’re taken aback, shocked by the information. Against your will, your palms begin to sweat and you’re not sure if the room is spinning in circles because you’re dreaming or you were dizzy.

“I listened to them. But now, I would like to listen to you,” He takes a step towards you, gesturing for you to talk.

You don’t know where to begin, your mouth dry.

“I–” You look around, your eyes falling onto Nabi’s, the only other person in the room. She sends a small encouraging smile in your direction and it’s all you need for words to flow out of your mouth.

“I am in love with Sunwoo. Everything he has ever done has been from his heart, whether that be for his parents, his sister, or for me. All he has ever done is love and I wish you could see him through my eyes so you could understand just how bright he shines,” You take a deep breath, continuing. You were sure you looked crazy, but if this was the King’s way of understanding how much Sunwoo meant to you, then you would take the one chance you would get. “He cares about me and this kingdom and I truly think there would be no better person to bring about real change in this world other than him. And if you don’t want us to be together, fine, but you can not deny me that he doesn’t deserve better than the way he’s treated currently. He has done more than prove himself.”

Your mind drifts back once again to those cursed words your Father had spoken–

“Sunwoo was and always will be a thief. Until he makes amends for his mistakes and shows that he is capable of something greater, I do not want you speaking to him.”

By the end of your speech, you're breathing heavily, and you can’t help but want to sit down. The only thought in your brain is that you hope that you’ve done Sunwoo justice.

Your eyes dart between Nabi and the King. He stays silent, but there’s a smug look on Nabi’s face as if you were missing something.

“I know I already spoke to you, but anything you wish to add Sunwoo?”

You pause, watching Sunwoo come out from behind the wall where the King entered from. You feel your face begin to heat up, but you notice the familiar blush littering Sunwoo’s cheeks.

“No, your highness,” Sunwoo smiles. You raise your eyebrows at the honorific directed towards your father, but he shrugs, mouthing “Talk later?” You nod, directing your attention back to your father with the biggest smile on your face.

“I believe that settles it then. Sunwoo, you will be moved to closer living quarters, not too close though,” His eyes narrow at Sunwoo. “And your new list of responsibilities begins tomorrow. I think you would do great supervising the new project the two of you have been working on.”

The King turns to look at you one more time, the smile on his face being the same one you grew up with. “Yuri said something to me today that truly helped me gain some insight.”

Your mind wanders to what Yuri could have said. She spent most of her time with Nabi when you weren’t baking with her, but it never occurred to you that she might see Sunwoo on a daily basis when he went to get Nabi for dinner. You wondered what Yuri and Sunwoo could have talked about.

“What did she say?”

He places a hand on your shoulder, eyes proud. “Your mother would have loved him.”

The King leaves promptly after that, but it isn’t long until you rush over to Sunwoo, wrapping your arms around his neck.

You laugh as he picks you up, spinning you around.

“I never got to say this to you directly, but I told your father, who apologized and thanked me, by the way–” The shock must be evident on your face because he says he’ll tell you about it later. “But, I love you. You are it for me, Princess. I want to look toward the future and that’s you. I wouldn’t have a future if it wasn’t for you. So thank you, Angel.”

Your hands were still clasped around his neck, your faces inches apart. You’re not sure if Nabi had left, but you’re sure she would have by now considering it felt like there was no one in the world, let alone the room, but the two of you.

He places a soft kiss on your forehead, pulling back to look into your eyes again.

“I love you, too,” You whisper, watching his eyes sparkle.

–BONUS SCENE: Nabi’s speech–

“Nabi, go ahead and tell him what you wanted to say,” Yuri encourages Nabi, holding onto her shoulder for support.

Nabi takes a shaky breath. And then she blurts, “My brother is the best brother in the whole wide world. He helps me and he helped my parents as much as he could. My brother didn’t care that he had to look after me. He didn’t complain to me once. He found me toys and gave me his food and he is my brother. I know I’m a child so you might not believe me. There isn’t much I know, but I do know that my brother is the best person in this world. He cares about me and Princess Y/N even though the way you treated him was terrible. If he was bad, he would be different, but he’s still the same brother I grew up with and I think you need to be nicer to him.”

301 notes · View notes

juhakx · 2 years ago

Text

Forever- Eric Sohn

Genre: Angst, fluff, fantasy, Fae!Eric, Fae!Y/N

Word Count: 2595

a/n you do not have to have read the series mentioned to understand the plot.

Inspired by the ACOTAR universe (specifically Azriel)

Being turned into a high fae was physically the worst pain of your life. While it made your sister, Chae, great and powerful, you were left feeling empty. Like a void. The human world was your belonging. When your sister first left, you were almost thankful that it didn’t have to be you.

She got to turn willingly, but nothing about being in this world was something you wanted. When you were taken, you should have seen it coming. Now that the war was over, you had to deal with the consequences of it.

The entire story was messy and complicated. It was difficult not to be mad at your sister or Sangyeon. Sangyeon, the most powerful fae you had ever laid your eyes on. Though he had granted you a place to stay and live, a part of you wondered what would have happened if you weren’t captured as bait for Sangyeon and Chae to come to rescue you. It worked, however. They came to save you, but you’re not sure how much of it was considered saving if you ended up like this.

The transition gave you power along with it, a darkness that entrailed you. Not only was it inherent, but you were able to wield it as well. Sangyeon suggested lessons, but you were against them. You would have to train with Younghoon and you didn’t want him to see you like that.

You had met them all before. When Chae first turned, she brought you over to show you the fae realm and let you meet Sangyeon. He was kind and generous. Beautiful inside and out. Along with meeting Sangyeon came his best friends, Eric and Younghoon. Younghoon didn’t speak much, but he was helpful in your transition more than ever when you returned. He showed you the gardens and helped you eat, doting on you as a brother would. Eric, on the other hand, you could barely even begin to describe.

He was hot and cold. His warm hand would lead you to the library all whilst bickering with you. Chae even teased you about it when you returned to the human world. Your second time around was much different. He seemed to notice the temporary bandaid that covered your heart. The lack of energy in your step as you walked. The hours spent behind your bedroom door. He didn’t try to push it, but there was still a lingering thought behind his eyes as he watched you. Even then, he would do what Younghoon didn’t. Attempt to speak to you as you did with him when you visited as a human; Bring you books to read; Food to your door when you didn’t leave your room.

“So what color did you like better?” Chae asks, looking around. Sangyeon was out, per Chae’s request. She was picking her dress for the wedding and it was bad luck for a mate to see their partner’s dress before the big day.

That was another thing. Mates.

It seemed like it was from a fairytale. One person was made for another. Two halves put together to make a whole. Chae said that every fairie had one, and even humans did too but they didn’t have to power to recognize it. You didn’t want to meet your mate. There was nothing one could do to fix you back up. No matter how much you had first wished for it when you met Eric. Not even Chae knew of those thoughts you had. They felt like a lifetime ago. A reminiscent dream.

“The blue!” Eunji fervently nodded her head. She sat next to Eric, his hand on top of hers. You tried to believe that it didn’t bother you. Though they weren’t mates, it was bound to click sooner or later. Two best friends turning out to be mates. Another match made from above.

“Definitely not,” Eric shook his head. He looked over at you. “What do you think Y/N?”

You snap out of your thoughts, blinking to regain a semblance of being put together.

“The red looked really lovely on you,” You throw a small smile in Chae’s direction hoping it proved your sincerity.

“That’s the one I was going to choose,” Eric softly said, encouraging you.

You didn’t say anything else, your gaze lowering to the hand that Eric removed from Eunji’s. Younghoon seemed to notice the same thing.

Minutes later, you excuse yourself.

There was no vigor in your step unless you were going to one place in Sangyeon’s residence. The library.

When you first visited, it was your favorite place to be. Now, however, it had a different purpose. Though Chae would scream at you for hours and you could imagine Sangyeon’s ashamed face, you couldn’t help but research ways to conceal your magic in the human realm. Fae rarely co-existed with humans, but you’re sure that’s where you were meant to be. Here, you felt useless. Your power was darkness and after the war, all you felt was a reminder of those that died in the war. It felt like a part of you died with them as well.

Chae tried to explain it to you. That your power wasn’t just darkness. It was a connection to the dead. Along with the powers every fae got, your specialty was the afterlife. Sensing the dead, the dread that would come before they died.

However, that wasn’t the one you wished to wield.

You were leaving and you were going to find a way to do it without anyone knowing.

You made sure to leave a note.

Dearest Chae,

I am so sorry but I do not belong here. I hope you can find it in you to forgive me, but just know that I will be there in spirit when you join yourself forever with Sangyeon. He is perfect for you. I extend my thanks to Sangyeon, but I feel almost burdened to take advantage of his generosity. Please thank Younghoon, Eunji, and Eric as well. They helped me remain sane until I could no longer. Please do not come searching for me. I am safe.

Best, Y/N

Then, you left. While everyone was sleeping, you found a way to winnow out of the realm. It took you a couple of tries and you were panting by the end of it, but you did it. You made it to the human realm and as if it was what you were meant to do, in a clear patch of land, with a flick of your wrist, you made a cabin.

Studying in the library helped you find out how to winnow, conjure, and most importantly, guard. You put a shield up around your home, making it virtually untraceable, and as soon as you entered, you felt safe.

You knew that this was where you needed to be.

The bandaid you covered your heart with was finally peeled, and the first thing you did, was cry. You cried for what felt like hours before you got yourself together.

And you healed.

You listened to your power, working with the darkness so it didn’t remain just inside you. Before you left, you took a couple of books from the library Eric had set up to help you learn how to make it so it wasn’t consuming you. You should have taken Sangyeon’s advice months ago and trained with Younghoon because all it took was you using your power to not have it fester within you.

You spent days reading, and writing. You cooked, conjuring random ingredients up into your pantry to work with. And it took four months before you began to feel okay again.

However, there was still something that bothered you. You couldn’t put your finger on it but you assumed it was about Chae–Chae worrying about where you were. There was no way to confirm if you were safe, even if you assured her. To ease your mind, you wrote to her again. You wrote to her that you were safe and healing and all about how you even learned how to use your power. And that was that. You walked outside, and threw it up into the air, watching it disappear, confident enough in your powers that you knew it would reach Chae. You stayed outside for just a moment longer and turned, content with the day, but you freeze as you hear a sound behind you.

“Nice place.”

You knew that voice.

“Eric?” You turn, jaw ajar at the man standing before you.

“Well, are you going to invite me in?” Though he asked, he didn’t wait for your answer as he strode past you, entering the door to your wooden cabin. There was a jest underneath his tone.

“What are you doing here?” You ask, following him in. You watched him look around, almost embarrassed at what he must be looking at. What you gave up at Sangyeon’s to live in instead.

“What do you think I’m doing here?” Anger laced his words, almost as if every word was a physical jab. He turns, and your assumptions are confirmed when you see the fury behind his eyes.

“Answer the question,” You jut your chin out. This wasn’t something he was going to win. He wasn’t going to put you in the wrong when you worked so hard to make things right for yourself.

“What?” He scoffs, taking a step towards you. “You think I wasn’t tracing your every step, waiting for the moment you used your powers beyond your stupid shield? It’s been four fucking months Y/N. What the hell were you thinking?”

“I’m fine! I’m safe! I had to do this, Eric. I was losing my mind over there. I never belonged there,” You explain, almost pleading for him to understand.

“Never belonged there? You never even tried! Instead, you ran. Like a coward,” He spits, turning back around. “I would have helped you. I could have helped you. We had no idea where you were for four months. You were safe back there. You were cared for. Looked after.”

Your mind scrambled wondering why this was all happening now. Why Eric seemed to care so much.

“I had thanked everything that was done for me in the letter but–”

“Oh!” Eric laughs, malice coating it. “The letter? The letter where I was an afterthought? I cared–I care about you. Do you think we didn’t deserve something better than a half-assed letter? You think I didn’t deserve better?”

That’s when it clicked. Eric gasped, feeling the tug to his heart as well. You lurched forward, the distance between you two nearly nonexistent now.

It was nothing like Chae described it. She said when she knew, she felt like her heart was glowing. This was different, though. It felt like there was an invisible string tying you to Eric’s heart. To your soulmate’s heart.

“You–” Eric begins, searching your face like he was looking at a brand new one. “You’re my mate.”

It all made sense. Why now, why Eric was acting like this. It was supposed to happen today. The bond between the two of you exposed to each other. It was like a riddle finally being answered.

Panic seemed to seize Eric’s veins, not knowing what you were thinking.

“Don’t reject the bond,” He blurts, reaching for your hand. You back away, just enough so that he can’t touch you.

Pain flashes across Eric’s eyes.

This was something you had wanted for so long, whether you admitted it or not. But now, it seemed impossible knowing it was happening.

The bond between a soulmate was said to be fate. But, there were ways to reject it. A painful disconnection. But it was written that even then, a part of you would always call for the other. You never planned on rejecting the bond when it was given to you, but you never even imagined ever finding your mate.

“I wasn’t–” You swallow. “I’m not planning on rejecting the bond.”

Eric’s shoulders sag as if there was tension pulling at them.

“What does this mean?” You whisper after moments of silence. You knew what it meant for Chae. It meant marriage. A cruel part of you wondered if they had the ceremony even if you weren’t there.

A cruel part of you wondered if Eric was thinking about you when and if they did.

“I–” Eric pauses, taking a tentative step forward. When you don’t step back, he takes another. “Ever since you left, there’s been this… It’s like this ache I kept feeling no matter what. I couldn’t place just why I felt like that but I guess it makes sense now.”

Eric’s admission makes you still. You noticed it before, assuming the missing place in your heart was for Chae and the way you left her…

Now, you realized the missing piece was Eric. He was the last thing you needed to find inner peace. As a fae.

Never to be a human again.

“I never wanted to be fae,” You blurt out. It comes out wrong–like you were not only admitting to not wanting to be fae–but not wanting a mate either.

Eric flinches, but he recovers quickly. He always let his emotions show on his face like he didn’t care who saw them. Like he wasn’t afraid of loving so blatantly.

“And never wanted a mate?” Eric questions, backing up.

“I didn’t say that,” You whisper, hoping he could realize how you were feeling. The bond wasn’t sealed yet, always done by sharing a meal, so he couldn’t feel your emotions yet. How strongly you wished for things to turn out okay.

“Then what are you saying?” He searches your eyes for an answer before letting another emotion pass through him. “Please.”

The one word sets you off, words spilling.

“Eric, when I was human, I used to dream about being your mate. I used to think of all the different scenarios in how it could happen, but now this is actually my life and I wasn’t prepared for any of it. I never thought that it would be a reality. I’m only just now learning how to be myself, I can’t–” Eric reaches for you, cautiously, grabbing your hand.

“That’s okay,” He consoles, rubbing your hand in circles with his thumb. Calming you down in just seconds. You could feel the tether, still unanswered. “We can figure it out.”

We.

You hadn’t imagined there being a ‘we’ in your new life for years to come. It felt calming to be on your own, but even then, if you learned to start living this life, maybe you could learn how to add people back in.

“Come back home. We can figure it all out together. Chae needs you home. I need you home,” He whispers. After a few more seconds of silence, he says again, almost dumbfounded. “You’re my mate.”

“Okay,” You whisper, losing a battle with yourself. You were tired of doing everything on your own. The sincerity in Eric’s tone made you understand. You didn’t need time alone or even a place to yourself anymore–You needed Eric. “But I–” You begin, trying to explain how you were feeling. How you had just begun figuring everything out.

“It’s okay. You don’t need to tell me now. We can take our time,” He lowers his face to make eye contact with you. “You will heal. You have a long time for it. We have a long time for it.”

You guys had forever.

a/n one day. one day i will stop writing angst based off the fantasy series i have read. today is not that day. by the way, expect 15k words of Sunwoo for his birthday <3

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