#tbh yeah though i agree this phone has been through hell and back and only has a few cracks

[hansolsaries]

phases

pairing: vernon chwe x reader

genre: angst-ish, fluff, rollercoaster of emotions tbh, reader is dense af

summary: falling in love with his best friend was never on vernon’s list of things to do. no matter how many times you’ve played with his emotions whether or not it’s intentional, he knows his heart will always run back to you.

warning: drinking, cussing, grown up stuff LOL nothing too explicit tho

a/n: bestie vibes only!!! sike vernon is a big softie for you in this. based off the song ‘phases’ i hope u guys enjoyy

“Dude.. Hello? Are you alive?” a voice above you spoke

Your eyes were shut but you definitely heard the muffled voice coming from above you. A pounding headache struck your head before you could even fully regain consciousness and come to your senses. You put your hand up to feel where the voice was coming from, “Too loud,” you grumbled as you turned back around and put a pillow over your head. Where did the pillow even come from? Where were you even? Thoughts raced through your head before you finally opened your eyes and sat up. You looked around and noticed you were definitely not in your own home. It caused you to panic at first but you decided to pay more attention and suddenly realized you had been at your friend Mingyu’s house.

“Finally you woke up, I was starting to think I was gonna have to take you to the hospital,” Jihoon said, being one of Mingyu’s roommates, it made sense why he was there, but he was also one of your close friends. He was not surprised to say the least when he saw you look panicked on the living room couch.

You rolled your eyes at the comment the brunette made, “Whatever Jihoon, what the hell happened last night and why is my head pounding so badly?” you asked as you rubbed your temples

Jihoon shook his head at you before giving you medicine and a bottle of water, “I don’t know but whatever happened between you and Vernon made you drink your body weight in alcohol,” he replied as he began to walk away from you and the couch

“Something between Vernon and I? Again?” you asked while you uncapped the water bottle

“This is like the 20th time something happened with you and Vernon,” Mingyu spoke as he walked in the living room drinking a liquid IV, “I don’t know how he has so much patience with you,” He added as he tossed a bottle to Jihoon

You drank the rest of your water bottle before you reached for your phone where you had expected to be bombarded with texts, yet there was only one message that appeared on your lock screen.

Vernon-nie :D

text me whenever you want me to pick you up from mingyu’s

Looking down at your phone, you thought about what Mingyu had said to you. Why did Vernon have so much patience towards you? If this was about the 20th time this routine of you getting wasted and Vernon picking up after you, why didn’t he say anything about it? You swore you knew your best friend, typically he’s the one to call you out when you’re doing something you knew you shouldn’t be. Yet there you were, hungover and a little speechless sitting down on your friend’s couch.

You didn’t reply to Vernon’s text, brushing off the two boys who nagged at you just for your safety yet you still refused, “Seriously. I’ll be fine guys, I just need to take this walk home for some fresh air,” You spoke as you tried to convince them. A part of you thinks you were trying to convince yourself too.

Jihoon shook his head at your actions, “Yeah I don’t know how Vernon does this,” he muttered before you walked away to retreat to his room

“Ignore him, but I slightly agree. You are your own person so I respect your choice,” Mingyu spoke before giving you your own bottle of liquid IV, “I do have your location shared with me though, but please text me when you get home,” he added

You smiled at the taller boy and nodded, “Of course Gyu, thank you again for letting me crash here,” you replied before you walked out of their front door.

It took about 7 minutes before you heard a car beep their horn at you. You swore you had never felt more annoyed and so tempted to cuss a person out, but as you turned your head you noticed who it was.

“Good morning to you too Vernon,” you said in response as you walked closer to his car

Vernon looked at you confused, “It’s 3pm Y/n?” he replied as he parked his car and got out to open the passenger door for you.

You rolled your eyes at his response as you got into the car, “It’s practically the same thing Ver,” you retorted while putting on your seatbelt as Vernon closed your door and jogged back to the other side of the car. “How did you find me anyways?” you asked as the boy put his seatbelt back on

“Well after you ever so nicely ignored my text, Mingyu texted me saying that you decided you wanted to walk home. Which is dumb by the way,” Vernon responded as he started driving, “So when he texted me after you left, I just looked at your location,” he added At this point the walk set into you but the headache was still very much there. Vernon glanced at you for a quick second before he reached behind your seat and pulled out a container filled with your favorite fruits and put it on your lap. Your eyes brightened at the sight and you smiled

“Figured you didn’t eat anything yet so your head probably still hurts. I’ll order some tofu soup when we get to your house so you can eat an actual meal,” he spoke in a tone that always gave you comfort

The rest of the car ride consisted of you munching on your fruits and Vernon bobbing his head to whatever music played on the radio. It was a quiet car ride, but quiet with Vernon always made it comfortable. It wasn’t until you got home where you decided to break the silence. You were laying down on Vernon’s lap as he sat on your living room couch, a daily occurrence in your friendship. He played with your hair as you looked up at him, “What happened last night?” you asked

He continued to play with your hair and hummed to a song playing distinctly on your TV, “Uh, you were with Mark I think? Or was it Jaehyun? I don’t remember but, he did something and you were out of it and then I stepped in and he got mad and left,” he responded

“Oh him? He was an asshole anyways,” you replied as you played with Vernon’s free hand that wasn’t in your hair, “Then what happened after that?”

Vernon shrugged, “You kinda just left and got wasted. I just stuck around to make sure you’d be okay, but you got mad at me for not drinking with you so I just hid from you the rest of the night,” he replied so nonchalantly

You immediately sat up as you processed what he said, “I got mad at you?” you questioned as Vernon looked alarmed from your sudden outburst.

“It’s okay Y/N I know you didn’t mean it, you’ve been going through it and as your friend my job is just to make sure you’re okay,” he responded as a way for you to calm down

You got up and turned to him and pouted, “But stiiilll, you’re my best friend I shouldn’t have done that to you,” you replied back

He shook his head and smiled at your antics, “Y/N seriously it’s okay, I’m always gonna be there for you,” he spoke as he ruffled up your hair, “Now c’mon you need to eat so you feel better”

You spent the rest of the day thinking about Vernon and how good he always is to you. Your mind always brought you back to what Jihoon said, how was Vernon always so patient with you? Why was he always so willing to do all of this and go out of his way to make you feel better?

Those thoughts didn’t resurface again until you were hanging out with Jihoon and a couple other of the boys when Joshua brought up how Vernon wasn’t there with you guys.

“Yeah of course he’s not here yet, he had to stay back at the studio and catch up on his writing,” Jihoon responded as he took a sip of his drink

Seungcheol looked at the shorter boy in confusion, “Catch up? Isn’t he like one of the best writers on the team?” he asked 

Jihoon shrugged, “I don’t know either man, he’s been out of focus apparently,” 

The response made Wonwoo chuckle, “Out of focus? Makes sense cause he’s always picking up after this one,” he spoke as he nudged your shoulder, obviously referring to you

Hearing that comment made you roll your eyes, “I’m sure it’s not entirely all my fault guys,” you replied defending yourself

“Dude I swear all he does is worry about you, it’s always ‘Where’s Y/N?’ or ‘Do you think Y/N is okay?’ and then usually he goes to pick you up from whatever party you end up at,” Jihoon said 

You took a sip of your drink (which was nonalcoholic, you didn’t want a repeat of last week)  and slightly cringed. It was true that Vernon was always there for you, but you never realized how much he helped you all the time. Was it really true that you were the reason why he couldn’t even work properly?

Joshua took notice of your reaction and how quiet you got. He looked at you and rubbed your shoulder in reassurance, “Hey, you okay? You know Vernon does that all in a good way right?” he spoke in a hushed tone, knowing you wanted anything but attention on yourself at the current moment

“Yeah, I know but I’ve been thinking about that since Jihoon made that comment a couple days ago at Mingyu’s. I feel like I’m just a burden to him now,” you muttered and then proceeding to take a sip of your drink again

“I highly doubt that. Besides, if it’s been on your mind why won’t you talk to him about it?” Joshua asked 

You shrugged, “Too scared I guess,” 

“Why are you scared to ask your best friend?” he questioned like it was the most obvious question in the world. It definitely was but you didn’t want to think about that. 

You shrugged again, not really having a response to the older male. Though truthfully you know exactly why you were too scared. Denial wasn’t a good look on you, even if you don’t like admitting it to yourself. You’ve guarded yourself from having any emotions towards your best friend but everyday it just gets more and more difficult. Having feelings for Vernon was always a possibility in the years you’ve known him, but you knew doing anything about the feelings you might have could also ruin your friendship. So at this point you can be honest, you tried meeting new people to see if there was a possibility to get over him. 20th guy later, Vernon was still the one picking up after you and somehow he’s still the one after your heart. It’s just a phase you like to think that you’re going through, the possibility of being in a relationship with Vernon, even though he’s everything you’ve ever wanted and more. 

The thoughts going through your brain at this moment made you get up and look around at your friends. You look at Jihoon and walk up to him, “Jihoon, be honest with me. Does Vernon like me?” you asked

Jihoon took one look at you before he face palmed himself, “Y’know I thought you would have realized by the 10th guy, but at least you didn’t get to 30,” he replied before confirming, “But yeah Y/N he likes you, do you finally have the balls to tell him about yours?” 

Your eyes furrowed, “How did you know?” 

“You’re not his only best friend Y/N, and I like to think I’m the more sensible one out of us two,” Jihoon responded

You rolled your eyes before grabbing all your things and put your drink down, making everyone look at you in a questioning way. Noticing the sudden attention focus shift, you headed towards the door in a hurry, “Yes I’m going to see Vernon,” you spoke, confirming everyone’s assumption and walked out the door

Hearing that made Soonyoung whoop out loud, “Hell yeah! Seokmin you owe me $20, I knew she’d do it after 20,”  

Being best friends with Vernon and also friends with Jihoon meant knowing where their studio was and making countless visits there. Though this was the first time you were ever gonna go feeling incredibly nervous and anxious. You stood outside the studio door and stood in the hallway not knowing what to do before suddenly the door in front of you opened to reveal Vernon standing there.

“Y/N? You’re actually here? I thought Find My iPhone was just tripping out,” Vernon spoke before he stepped to the side to let you in the studio. “Sorry I wasn’t at the party, did it end early?” he asked as he sat down on the couch that Jihoon fought to have in there for days he needed to sleep at the studio

You shook your head, “No it’s still happening, I just had to come see you,” you replied as you followed him and sat down next to him

“Oh? Why? Not that I’m complaining, you just don’t come around that often here,” he spoke while he ran his hands through his hair. You could tell he was getting nervous a bit, seeing one of his habits you often try to tell him about

A sigh left your body as you looked down and started to play around with your hands, a habit that you do when you’re nervous and something Vernon is very aware about also, which led him to hold onto your hands as a way for you to stop. 

You looked up at Vernon, “Is it my fault you’re here right now? They told me you were here to catch up on your writing. You’re one of the best writers I know and I can’t help but feel like it’s my fault you can’t do a lot of things anymore,” you spoke before taking a deep breath, “And you’ve constantly been picking up after me for all the things I do, I don’t want to be a burden to you anymore Ver. Please tell me if I’m getting too much,” 

Vernon frowned at the confession you let out, making him grab your hands and intertwine them with his, “Y/N you will never be a burden to me, who cares if I’m stuck in the studio on a Saturday night? All that matters is that you were okay when you needed someone,”

“But you haven’t been writing. That’s literally one of your passions and I can’t help but feel like I’m blocking you from that,” you muttered feeling defeated with your confession, considering you were supposed to confess something else

“Y/N, you might be blocking me from writing but not in the way you might think. I’m gonna be honest, writing is just really difficult when you’re in love with your best friend who’s with someone else every weekend and then having to take care of them. I know this is probably the worst way to tell you, but I’m in love with you Y/N, and every time you’re with another guy I can’t help but feel unnoticed cause I’ve always been here just waiting through whatever phase you’re in,” Vernon confessed, “And I know I probably don’t have a chance with you now but, I just have to let you know that I’ve written so many songs about you it made me lose focus which is why I’m here. Knowing that you weren’t mine but I was all yours and I don’t even think you noticed made me really forget that I had other things to do,” 

Suddenly the weight you’ve felt for so long was gone, hearing that Vernon felt the same way as you made you feel relieved, “Ver, I was only with those other people because I didn't think you liked me back. I spent all that time trying to ignore and bury the feelings I have for you not knowing you felt the same exact way, which is a dumb coping mechanism I admit so you can shit on me for that whenever you want. But I’m here to tell you that I love you Vernon, and it’s always been you, I was just too dumb to realize it.” you responded letting out your feelings

Vernon chuckled at your comment, “I guess I could say I told you so for all those guys now huh?”

You playfully punched him and he dramatically gasped, “Shhh never mention that again,”

“Only if you kiss me, I mean it’s only fair since I’ve waited years for you,”

Leaning closer to him and looking into each other's eyes in a way that has never been crossed in your friendship with Vernon made you have goosebumps. Your hand finding its way on his cheek, his hand making its way to your back. “Fuck it,” you spoke as you moved your body to straddle him, eventually colliding your lips with his. It was the kiss you’ve waited years for, no one could ever compare to Vernon. Kissing him felt like it was so obvious that he was meant to be yours all along, and you were meant to be his. The way your lips molded together felt like you were destined to be with him, you felt all of the things people say and describe in movies and more. How his hand rested and gripped your thigh as you kissed made you feel more than any previous person you had ever been with. You smiled into the kiss before you pulled away and put your forehead on Vernon’s, also catching your breath at the same time. 

He hummed as he played with your hair, “Wanna wait with me here to finish writing? I’ll take you on a proper date after,” 

You pecked his lips again, “Of course Ver, I think it’s my turn to do some of the waiting now,” you spoke

Maybe falling in love with your best friend wasn’t so bad? 

[neoheros]

sneaking out headcanons feat. gym 3 squad ♡ — also this is all gonna be set in an au before or without the quarantine, so don’t leave your house please!! social distancing is important and people are dying!!

kuroo tetsuro

listen LISTEN

sneaking out is terrible and you should never do it because it’s dangerous and risky

and you as the woke and understanding gen z that you are definitely respected that

but , BUT , BUUUUT !

the minute your boyfriend snapped you a photo of him in his car with him rubbing his tired eyes captioned “couldn’t sleep, dreamt of u”

your morals were OUT THE WINDOW and now it was your turn >:// !!!

kuroo: i know it’s 4 am but what’re the chances you’d hop out for a quick trip to chick-fil-a 👉👈

you, purposely taking two minutes to reply: why are you still awake

kuroo, who knows you like the back of his hand: babe don’t lie to me, it’s embarrassing for the both of us x

so you agree !! because it was kuroo, the love of your life, the man you’d simp for, and he’s paying for food so hell fricken yeah

you throw on a hoodie, lock your doors, fluff up the bed to make it look like someone was sleeping in it just in case and you gently make your way towards your window

due to personal reasons, you want to pass away

you suddenly remember why you hated sneaking out and boy — the food kuroo was buying you better be worth it

the only way you were actually gonna get down from your two story house that idiotically doesn’t have a roof ledge was if you grab onto the tv satellite that latched by the sill

from your window you see kuroo’s car parked by the trash cans near your house and he’s got his windshield down signaling at you

mfer pulled out his phone from his pocket and waved as he zooms closer to your figure and he SMILED ?

you were in a dilemma?? and he had the audacity???? the fricken audacity???

kuroo, snapping you the vid he took: babe please you’re so cute you look like a tiny gremlin

you: had me in the first half, not gonna lie

it was a MOMENT for you !! but you just say what the hell and go for it anyways because you only live once apparently and sneaking out with your boyfriend at 4 am was better than sleeping

you grab onto the satellite ridge and you pray for mercy that it doesn’t make a sound or loosen up because if anyone found out you were doing this it was definitely kuroo’s ass on the line

while you’re struggling to get down, kuroo’s just in the car ??? laughing his ass off at your current state and you swear that he’s still taking photos

you get down on the cement safely and instead of him pulling up closer to your drive way naaaah he makes you walk to where he was at 😤

you, getting in the car: if i dump you by the end of tonight, just know that the only reason why i didn’t do it sooner is because i wanted food

kuroo, putting on your seatbelt: we’ll get back together in the morning, i’m not worried

so the two of you make your way to chick-fil-a, get food via drivethru and eat in the parking lot with the doors open and the windows down

he still looks very tired and before you even realize it it’s already 6 in the morning

you catch him yawn every few minutes and he always reassures you that he didn’t mind staying up this late :(

he’s baby

kuroo: lets get you home, are you gonna dump me yet?

you, kissing his cheek: no, i kinda love you

kuroo, less sleepy with a lazy smile on his face: aha simp

tsukishima kei

bro if you think he’s a goody two shoes boy who won’t ask you to sneak out at like 2 in the morning , you are so wrong

canonically, he is the most devious and logical character in the entire anime and if he wants to go out with you before the crack of dawn — he fricken will !!

he’s gonna be so sly about it too, nah, he gon make you think it’s your idea to sneak out

tsukki, texting you a tiktok of homemade shrimp rotini at 2:35 am: look what yamaguchi sent me

yamaguchi, who fell asleep three hours ago and absolutely is not in any state to send tiktoks:

so you’re there like ??????

bruv you were just tryna scroll through your twitter feed in peace, why the hell would he send you that like that’s so uncool

because now you were sleep deprived and hungry

you, close to tears: does your house in hell have a pool or

tsukishima, unnerved: i don’t like the concept of swimming

he’s gonna go on about how he didn’t realize what he did and how he’s kinda sorry for waking your hunger but you weren’t born yesterday !! you smelled BS !!

so you facetime him, ready to go off on how unsorry he is and you can already imagine the shit eating grin he must’ve had on

he answers after three rings and he’s in a MFING yellow hoodie with the dinosaur print in the middle, his hair neatly tucked and you just know that he’s got his keys on his fingertips

you, defeated: i’ve been played

tsukishima, heading out the front door: i deny all accusations

you’re not even upset though because this was a perfect opportunity to try the stability of your roof ledge and tbh? who wasn’t unreasonably hungry at 3 am

turns out climbing out your window was harder than you thought and you may or may not have gotten two new bruises on your wrist just by trying

safe to assume that you fell on your ass and since the universe has a particular hatred towards you, your boyfriend arrived at the perfect time to witness all of it

tsukishima: how are you gonna kiss me when you’re too busy kissing the ground

you, tears on your cheeks: if i wanted a bully instead of a boyfriend i would’ve SAID SO

when you get in his car, the first thing he does is ask if you’re okay though and he’s checking your wrists and hands for any scratches or bleeding because 🥺

tsukki: you’re such a clumsy idiot what the hell

tsukki, kicking down the pavement when you’re not paying attention: 💢🪓

you guys end up going to numerous places because most of the drivethrus in town were already closed

you see him get tired behind the steering wheel and you almost have the urge to offer to drive but you didn’t really feel like crashing his car any day soon so

you: lets just head to starbucks hm? get some coffee?

tsukishima, feeling bad because he knows you wanted to get food: we don’t have to

you, in love with him: if you say no i will willingly walk all the way to starbucks by myself , what , you think i won’t do it

so you guys go there and order a couple double shot espressos with a side of scones and muffins and the entire time you’re just trying not to shiver because name one starbucks you’ve been to that hasn’t been unreasonably cold huh i dare you

he notices this and he gives you his hoodie and ITS JUST THE SOFTEST THING OKAY BECAUSE HE’S COLD TOO BUT HE JUST WANTS YOU WARM

you: i knew it, you love me too huh 😌

tsukishima: unfortunately so

akaashi keiji

AKAASHI IS LEGALLY THE BEST BOYFRIEND IN THE WORLD !!

like he cannot be a bad boyfriend ?? it’s impossible for him to be so ?????? he’s just built that way ????

he’s the ultimate mixture of respect and self love , god was just like “let’s make this one perfect !!”

he’s DRIPPING in love each other juice and he eats kindness for breakfast so ha !

he physically cannot say no to you because he flat out adores you

( except when he feels like you’re wrong or being irrational to which he’ll politely correct you and educate you because that’s on what? that’s on having a healthy relationship ♡ )

so when you hit him up at 5:23 in the morning after a series of tiktoks that he has yet to see and react to you about, he’s kinda alarmed

but then again he’s also not ?? because let’s face it, at this point, he’s used to you spamming his inbox

the last thing you sent him two minutes ago was a text saying “bro just imagine this: you and me at a maccas drivethru with two oreo flurry’s and a box of 20 piece chicken nuggets — immaculate”

and you didn’t really expect him to reply?

it was five am and you were absolutely shit talking but when you saw his face time status go online you were just like ?????

akaashi, snapping you a pic of him under his covers with very tired eyes: it’s 5:27 am

you, sending him back a photo of you and the 2000 piece puzzle you spent the last two hours doing: that’s not a no 💅

he doesn’t reply and you’re not really upset by it because he probably just fell asleep and that was really cute to you so !!

but then two minutes later he’s facetiming you and you JUMP at the sudden ringing

he’s all tired and his voice is groggy and tight but he’s still smiling as he says “i’ll see you in ten”

YOU ARE !!!! PUMPED !!!!!

you won the boyfriend lottery , holy hell

now the only thing keeping you from seeing your man and the mcdonald’s sign was the eleven foot gap between your window and the solid concrete

you’d usually take the stairs but you just know that your mom would absolutely murder you for trying to sneak out when you should be asleep 💆‍♀️

it was either climbing out by clawing through the pipes or not being able to give akaashi a hug and you were not gonna let that second one happen

akaashi, after reading your two paragraph rant on how unnatural it was for your window to be that high: please be careful

you, haven’t slept in 32 hours: screw careful ! i embody elegance !!

in which elegance was screaming every time your pipes squeaked because dear mercy you did not want to die yet

akaashi, who just pulled up your drive way and is now seeing you almost fall to the ground:

you, on the verge of tears: please catch me

AND he does 🥺

it was a close call and he barely even made it to you when you chose to let go but HE DID ANYWAYS

you kinda fell on him rather than landing smoothly in his arms but that’s okay you were just glad you didn’t die

when you both get in his car, he just takes a hot sec to dust you off and ask if you’re okay and he’s so concerned please tell him you’re fine

he’s such a baby please i can’t believe this shit

the two of you end up in a mcdonald’s parking lot with doja cat blaring on the radio and you guys do your best to hold back your laughter as you eat

it was pretty cold and the sun was rising but honestly you couldn’t find the urge to care since the moment just felt so surreal

you: i’m sorry for waking you btw 🥺

akaashi, showing you his new lock screen which is the picture he took of you when he first saw you climb out the window:

you: i’m less sorry

bokuto koutaro

BOYFRIEND OF THE MFING YEAR

i accept no arguments, go cry about it

i literally don’t care what anyone has to say, bokuto is the only man ever ? he’s so deserving of every right on earth i’ll cry

the way that this is the third night in a row he’s stayed up til 4 am and he’s not even alarmed about it

like at this point he’s just accepted that he is nocturnal and that’s that on that !

before he actually had the idea to ask you to sneak out for him, he debated whether or not it was worth it

you needed sleep and you barely got any so when he knew you were resting he absolutely refused to message you :(

but then he also thought about how you would love to have a large dunkin iced coffee right now

and he was already getting ready for his morning fix so why not just ask harmlessly?

if you weren’t going to respond then he’d be okay with that because he knew that you were resting well

but if you were going to answer his consecutive texts with a positive reply then HE IS 🥺 over the moon

you, barely awake: can we get a venti triple shot latté instead , my caffeine tolerance is SHOT

bokuto, snapping you back within a minute: babe you are delusional if you think i’m gonna let you drink that

so it’s 5 am and your parents are in the other room asleep but you know that their jobs start pretty early so you had to get a move on

your room wasn’t that high from the ground to be honest, so you weren’t really worried about falling off

what you were worried about was how dizzy and out of depth the melatonin gummies made you because in order to fall asleep you took 3 and now that you basically forced yourself out of a self induced coma, your body was on the verge of passing away

bokuto tells you that he doesn’t mind if you’re not up for the trip and he’d just bring you back your coffee BUT NAH

you’re not a quitter 🤬 you miss your boyfriend and you are gonna do whatever it takes to spend some quality morning time with him !!!!!

so you throw on a proper outfit, make your way through your window and gently do your best to refrain from yelping every time your hand would slip from the railing that’s keeping your balance

bokuto, pulling up seeing you on your roof: you’re so strong 🥺👉👈

you, barely alive: all for you baby ❤️

he helps you get down from where you stood and he had the prettiest smile on earth i SWEAR when you immediately sank in his cold chest

he apologizes for making you sneak out like that BUT NUH UH YOU DO NOT LET HIM

he is a gift !!! and you knew how tired he must’ve been too since he kept yawning but he still took the time and energy to pick you up 🥺

he fastens your seatbelt in the car and puts the windows up because he knew that the air would get in your face and you didn’t like that

he even brought you a spare hoodie of his because he remembered how much you swooned over this particular fabric

bokuto: we’ll get you some coffee but you can sleep while i drive, ok babe?

you, trying not to cry: are you single because i really want to kiss you

bokuto, kissing your cheek: i’m dating someone i’m sorry

[fandom-monium]

For the Holidays - Part 2

Summary: In which Spencer doesn’t want to go to his high school reunion, but you tagging along changes things. “It’ll be nice... having a friend there.”

WC: 1.8k

Tags/Warnings: Spencer Reid x GN!Reader, fake-dating trope, pining (so much pining), insecure and in-denial Spencer, light cursing, (tbh with all the shit that happens in CM they should be cussing way more)

Spencer doesn’t text you. But he’s tried.

First thing he got home, he tossed his bag aside and ripped off his blazer before he threw himself on the couch, digging through his pockets for his phone. Screw reading, taxes, dinner. There are more important things at stake here.

But he’s been sitting there for an hour, glaring at the empty text box with disdain, willing for words to appear.

No such luck.

Spencer writes essays and academic journals in an hour but formulating a simple text? He curses the universe for only making him academically gifted.

He runs a hand through his hair. Maybe he should call? No, you said text. And he doesn’t trust himself enough to have a verbal conversation with you. He will get tongue-tied.

Shit, what does he even say?

It’s not entirely his fault, alright? He’s never been put in a position like this before, except when he goes undercover. And even then everything is planned for him with little contribution on his part⎼he makes small edits to better fit the profiles but that’s about it. All he has to do is scan the file once and in seconds he has his fake identity, his fake backstory, and whatever fake details make up his fake life.

But this. This is different. He has to be brave because it’s you, and he has to chill out because this is supposed to be fake, he reminds himself. Both are tasks within themselves. And yeah, he’s a genius but as Albert Einstein once said, knowledge has its limits.

Shit, his thoughts are so jumbled he can’t even quote properly. This is all your fault.

You.

He still has to text you.

Spencer groans and flops on the couch, the phone clattering to the floor. He doesn’t bother, laying there until there’s an imprint of his butt in the cushions. He stares at the ceiling.

He remembers that you were the one to say yes. He hadn’t directly asked you but you agreed anyway, which means you are willing to spend time with him. Which means you like him (enough). Which means you are friends, and friends help friends out when they are in trouble.

Like needing a fake date.

He rolls onto his stomach, lips pursed as he stares over the edge of the couch. His phone glints in the lamp light.

Just friends helping each other out. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Spencer takes a deep breath and picks up the phone.

He can do this.

⎼

He can’t do this.

“I’m so excited,” Next to Spencer, you nestle into the seat and adjust the fuzzy blanket over your lap, eyes gleaming. “It’ll be nice to see where you grew up.”

Spencer only offers you a tight smile. His eyes dart about as the other passengers settle in, switching seats and fiddling luggage into the overhead compartments. Some of them already requesting for airplane food. Who in their right mind actually wants airplane food?

Spencer really wants to be as excited as you, and he is; he finally gets to spend some time with you outside of work, without the rest of the team hovering (waiting for one of you to make a damn move). It’s almost nice.

If only he can enjoy himself.

His knee bounces nonstop. Against the armrest his fingers tap a rhythm matching the thrum of his heart. And his hair is even more wild having run his hands through it repeatedly before meeting up with you.

He isn’t used to this, being alone with you. Sure, you partner up at work, in cases⎼hell, you've even accompanied each other to a few events. But those were as friends.

Technically, you’re his date. His romantic partner.

Spencer’s never let himself delve deep into his fantasies; he’s imagined (more times than he’d like to admit) taking you on dates to your favorite places, you in his arms, him in your arms⎼you know, minus the imminent danger. All the sweet things that couples do. But they always seemed out of reach. So he’d cut them off, squash the ideas before they went any further. False hope only hurts if you give in.

But now you’re on a plane, rocking in your seat as you hum to yourself, genuinely thrilled at the prospect of seeing his hometown.

This is more than he’s ever imagined. He feels like his heart’s about to burst.

Someone needs to call the bomb squad, real quick.

“Reid.”

"Hm?"

"Are you alright?" You're looking at him, voice drenched in so much concern his stomach twists. He made you worry. He feels guilty.

“Yeah-uh-” He clears his throat, attempting a smile. It’s a sad parody of the real thing. ”I'm fine.“

You raise an eyebrow and scoff, "Okay, I think I know why you're being weird. At least, weirder than usual."

Spencer’s heart drops. He leans back as you lean across your shared armrest, catching the sympathy in your eyes. He stiffens, bracing himself for the rejection. He should have known sooner or later you’d notice his not-so-friendly affections towards you. Of course you did, he isn’t exactly subtle; all the lunches, the museum tours, the stars in his eyes when you wrestle down unsubs⎼

"You’re nervous about seeing your old classmates again."

⎼Or, he’s much better at hiding it than he thought.

Spencer can only watch in awe as you continue, “And it’s totally natural. I mean, I haven’t been to a reunion, but I’d feel weird too if I got to see my classmates after all these years. But have no fear, (Your Name) is here.” You cringe, suddenly abashed. “Unless I’m completely off the mark and now you regret bringing me along. Oh no, that’s it, isn’t? You’re uncomfortable with the whole couples act.”

Spencer shakes his head, and for the first time since take off, he chuckles, “What? No, I’m happy that you’re here. And I couldn't think of anyone better to play my partner.” A relieved smile from you and he shrugs, feigning nonchalance. He fiddles with his sleeve. “But yeah, you got me. I am nervous.”

Which isn’t exactly a lie. You're here, next to him. That's more than enough reason to be.

If he had to be honest, between you and organizing the trip, he almost forgot about the reunion. Then again, he never liked reflecting on his high school years. For obvious reasons.

But your perception is a bucket of ice water over his head. Now he’s wide awake.

You’re doing this because you’re friends. You just want to help.

Friendship never hurt so much.

“I didn’t mention it before, but I’m sure you’re aware I wasn’t exactly the most popular kid in school, being 6 years younger and all,” Spencer swallows the ache. You nod in understanding.

Bright, brown eyes meet yours. He bites his lip. “So, I appreciate you coming with me. It’ll be nice... having a friend there.”

A split second.

Spencer glances away as he says 'friend'. The word leaves such a bittersweet taste he has to hold back a grimace, look anywhere else but you. The word just doesn’t sit right with him.

If he hadn’t looked away, he would have caught the way your smile dropped.

You nearly forgot, though you’re on holiday, this is a mission of sorts. This isn’t about you or how you feel. This is about Spencer. You berate yourself, remembering you're not a teenager anymore; you're a fucking adult and mature adults don't squee at their coworkers.

No matter how cute and adorable they are.

“Of course,” You plaster on a smile and finger the edge of your blanket, unintentionally mirroring him. "Your welcome."

Spencer gives you that white-person smile you love so much. You have to bite back a laugh.

To distract yourself, you pull out your phone and open the Chess app, holding it out to him. "Now, how about that rematch?"

Spencer's face lights up like a Christmas tree.

And as you immerse yourselves into another close match, you feel your confidence grow with every move, chuckling as Reid grumbles about you cheating (you’re not, he’s just a sore loser). You’re an FBI agent, for fuck’s sake. You played spouse and romantic partners for weeks, months. A weekend is nothing.

You can manage playing pretend with a coworker. Just operate like this is any other undercover assignment.

You can pretend you’re in love with Spencer Reid. You can handle it.

You can handle it.

⎼

You can’t handle it.

As one would expect, it’s hard to not fall in love with Spencer Reid. Just as it’s hard not to show it.

It feels like only yesterday the lanky man quite literally stumbled his way into your world and you decided, ‘Him. I will protect him with my life.’ And while you’d totally do that for anyone on the team, with Reid, it hits different.

After you landed in Las Vegas, you had a couple hours to kill before the reunion started, and as the good friend and partner you are, you suggested he show you all the places he frequented when he was little. For research, of course. After all, you’re playing his partner, so the more you know the better.

It’s definitely not because you’re invested in his life. Because that would be unprofessional.

(The way he beamed at you was totally worth it though.)

Then one step in the direction of his favorite eatery and he slipped on a patch of ice. You caught him in time, but the way he looked at you, brown eyes wide and filled with awe, made you feel things you shouldn't feel for a coworker.

It only snowballed from there. Everything about him is just so… endearing.

But you’re at your limit.

Love and affection threatens to spill out of you. Your hands flex in your coat pockets, itching to grab Spencer’s pretty face. Even your chest aches from your heart having swollen twice its size. You feel like you’re about to explode.

This might be the most difficult mission you’ve ever worked.

But this is it, you realize as you stand in front of the closed auditorium doors. This is the final lap. Where everything you’ve practiced really matters. You just have to keep up the charade for a few hours, then you won’t have to struggle to fight back the hearts in your eyes.

Although, your clothes fit tighter than you remember and you’re trembling. Why the fuck are you trembling?

Next to you Spencer eyes the double doors, almost like he’s daunted by them.

Multi-colored lights filter into the dark hallway, silhouettes flickering and shifting from the crack under the door as cheery holiday music faintly streams from behind them, accompanied by shouts and laughter. From his old classmates. Who are most likely making jokes at his expense.

Spencer already wants to go home.

“Ready, Doc?” As if sensing his hesitation, you offer a smile and an arm to him. Your eyes gleam with resolve. It’s more than enough for the both of you.

You can do this.

A deep breath, he slips his arm into yours. “Yep.”

He can do this.

Together, you open the doors.

AN: 2/4?? 

note: don’t expect part 3 to come out as quick. it’ll contain panic/anxiety descriptions and id like to take my time to write it best :))) i hope you enjoyed the last bit of happiness for a while :))))

also i apologize that i havent gotten to all the requests!! the ones posted on my masterlist are the ones currently being dealt with, but i’ll get through them eventually thx for the patience :D

i remember seeing a post ab Hotch x Prentiss and I didn’t get it but watching CM over again 

i get it i so get it. when theyve both gone to each other’s homes? *tears up*

and my hate for seaver has been reinforced :)))))

[coffeewithheroes]

Hiya, nice to meet you V! Do you know the Tiktok trend that goes like, “why can’t friends just kiss each other?” If you do, would you mind doing some headcanons about how Iwaizumi and other characters of your choosing would react? tysm!!💕

a/n: nice to meet you anon! i’ve seen that trend before and omg i love it so much! i just love the friends to lovers troupe in general :) never be able to get over it i swear🤧

really went all out on my first answered request, hehe!

-

“why can’t friends just kiss each other?” ⪼ haikyuu hcs

-

IWAIZUMI

💌 Iwaizumi would probably already know about the trend, seeing as he’s got tiktok obsessed oikawa as a best friend.

💌 oikawa would probs tease Iwa about how you might use it on him one day, which earns him a good wack.

💌 luv you tooru get well soon

💌 might secretly hope that you make a move on him, but doesn’t get his hopes too high. there’s a chance that you’re not even interested in Tiktok impossible, or you’d rather confess to him the traditional way, OR, you might not even like him. again, impossible

💌 lucky for him, you LIVE for trends like these :)

💌 you’ll probably be at his house or something, thanking the stars above that Iwaizumi has finally granted you a break from studying, as well as the opportunity to make your move!

💌 you pull out your phone, and search for the sound, heart beat so loud you hope he can’t hear.

💌 remember to breathe, baby. because it’s go time.

💌 you press play.

💌 at this point, Iwa looks up from his own device, and has that “wait, what?” look on his face.

💌 you’re laughing at him to hide the sudden waves of embarrassment.

💌 not to worry dear, your efforts were not in vain.

💌 Iwaizumi is honestly so frigging happy that you did this. he can’t help but think about how cute you are.

💌 “you’re so stupid, you know that?” and yet, the opposite comes out of his mouth.

💌 but again, must i remind you not to worry?

💌 the next few moments are absolute heaven - Iwaizumi pulls your face towards his, and kisses you hard.

💌 damn, he’s been waiting for this.

OSAMU

💌 this would be something neither of you are expecting-

💌 it’s actually atsumu who set up the entire thing lmaooo

💌 the three of you usually walk home together after volleyball practice, but atsumu had faked being sick and went home early, leaving just osamu and yourself.

💌 whilst walking, you get a message from atsumu, a video.

💌 and you play it out loud of course, not expecting it to be something like this:

💌 “why can’t friends just kiss each other?”

💌 cue the awkward stares and silent curses of atsumu‘s name.

💌 you want to think of something, anything to say that will get osamu’s mind away from the words he just heard.

💌 but unlucky for us, our brains always run out on us when we need ‘em most, right?

💌 in the end, it’s osamu who breaks the silence.

💌 “well, why can’t we?”

💌 “there’s no rule against it...”

💌 “should we...”

💌 “I’m okay with it if you are?”

💌 the kiss is one of those which start off as simple pecks, but get all crazy after that 😳

💌 you know you can’t get too carried away though, being in the middle of the street and all.

💌 osamu takes you to his house instead of dropping you home, and atsumu can’t help but smirk victoriously at the sight of your bruised lips.

💌 looks like you got a lil’ bit carried away after all

💌 instead of thanking his matchmaker brother, you opt for giving him the finger.

💌 osamu’s pretty content with that solution too, so it’s all good!

TSUKISHIMA

💌 your mind immediately wanders to Tsukishima the moment you discover this Tiktok sound.

💌 things will either go really well, or really bad. and of course, you’re hoping for the latter.

💌 tsukishima’s a smart dude, and will immediately notice something is up the moment you pull out your phone and start grinning ear to ear.

💌 “what are you doing?” he really doesn’t waste time.

💌 “hey, do a tiktok with me.”

💌 “absolutely not.”

💌 but he doesn’t stop you when you set up your camera and press the three second countdown.

💌 when the question pops up, tsukishima is lowkey shocked

💌 like, what did i just hear? 👁👄👁

💌 you’re laughing your ass off at his reaction, but tsukishima wouldn’t be tsukishima if he allowed others to openly laugh at him in his presence or at all for that matter

💌 he gives you one of those “shut up” kisses :)

💌 and suddenly, the tables have turned, and he’s the one who’s making fun of your reaction!

BOKUTO

💌 bokuto’s actually the one who introduces you to the trend

💌 the hilarious thing is, he didn’t even mean it as a confession, he just wanted to show you one video which he found particularly cute!

💌 he’s super excited about it, so while he’s taking a break during practice, he whips out his phone from his bag, and shows you the video.

💌 it gets your heart pumping QUICKLY fr-

💌 you’re not actually sure how to react tbh. you know that there’s a chance bokuto was just showing it to you because he thought it was cute, not because he was indirecting the fact that the two of you should actually kiss.

💌 but my guy akaashi has got your back :D

💌 “bokuto-san, does that mean you would like to kiss y/n as well, seeing as she’s your friend?”

💌 “...hey, hey, hey! dude, you’re right!”

💌 bokuto does not hesitate-

💌 pulls you towards him, then tilts his head just right so that he can kiss you.

💌 it’s over in an instant, there’s literally no time to react.

💌 he isn’t trying even a little bit to hide the smile on his face.

💌 “i’ll give you more later, i have to go back to practice now, yeah?”

HOSHIUMI

💌 another one who knows his way around Tiktok - chances are, he found the trend before you did.

💌 hoping that you’ll understand why he’s calling it his new favourite trend, and get the hint that likes you and wants you to confess that way!!

💌 spoiler alert: you’re going to do it.

💌 the whole thing goes down during one of your weekend sleepovers.

💌 it’s three am, both of you are dead tired, and you’ve decided that you want a kiss before you head to sleep.

💌 loud enough for him to hear, not loud enough for his parents to wake up, you play the sound.

💌 “what? you— y/n!!”

💌 this cutie can’t even form words, he’s that happy!

💌 does not waste any more time trying to speak - he’s sure that you’d rather be kissing him.

💌 and you would :)

💌 hoshiumi starts off by placing kisses all over your face and neck, purposely avoiding your lips.

💌 because that’s his final prize, of course!

💌 it feels like forever has passed, before your lips finally touch his.

💌 it’s amazing, it’s sweet, it’s heartwarming, it’s all the synonyms which you can possibly come up with for those three words.

💌 the two of you fall asleep, legs tangled and all.

💌 his parents most likely have at least heard of tiktok. don’t know the trend specifically, but know that their son has finally managed to get himself a beautiful girlfriend! ❤️

KUROO

💌 here we go,,

💌 this whole situation is like a total accident.

💌 you were just scrolling through your for you page like we all do, when you came across the original video.

💌 “why can’t friends just kiss?”

💌 kuroo’s head turns so fast when he hears it.

💌 hasn’t seen the trend himself, but thank you to the man who made it, you’ve given kuroo an opportunity to kiss his crush 🙏

💌 “you know, that man is talking sense.”

💌 he’s smirking, he’s wiggling his eyebrows in a suggestive manner, and you’re trying to keep it together.

💌 don’t freak out, don’t freak out, don’t freak out

💌 “maybe we should kiss. like right now, and prove that friends are indeed allowed to kiss?”

💌 you’d like that, wouldn’t you? :))

💌 and so, when he leans in, you do absolutely nothing to stop him!

OIKAWA

💌 flipping heck, he’s so pretty

💌 soo...

💌 do 👏 this 👏 trend 👏 with 👏 him 👏 please 👏 and 👏 thank you............👏

💌 oikawa absolutely adores Tiktok, so you can bet your ass he knows about it.

💌 of course, doing something like this takes GUTS. confessing to anyone is a pretty difficult thing to do, especially with a good friend!

💌 you decide to confide in Iwaizumi in the matter, you know you can trust him not to say anything until after the big day.

💌 someone you can’t trust with a secret as big as this, is Matsukawa.

💌 accidentally overheard the convo between you and Iwaizumi, and thought it would be hilarious to accidentally spill the tea to his majesty.

💌 who is absolutely excited, by the way.

💌 when the big day arrives, you’re nervous as hell, and so is he.

💌 things go wrong, oh so wrong.

💌 oikawa’s sitting beside you on the couch. as soon as you take your eyes away from the tv and start paying attention to your phone, he starts watching.

💌 you don’t actually notice, too busy trying to calm yourself down.

💌 and then...

💌 before you even get to press play on the sound, oikawa is turning your head and pressing his lips against yours.

💌 it’s one of those simple, yet expertly executed kisses, the kind which makes you unable to open your eyes for a few seconds.

💌 “you uh...didn’t play the sound.”

💌 “you didn’t give me a chance to, idiot.”

💌 he’s just silly like that but i think i speak for everything when i say we wuv him sm 🥺

USHIJIMA

💌 Ushijima takes volleyball seriously, and he takes his studies seriously too.

💌 he’s been tutoring you for about one and a half hours now, and what the hell you’re so tired.

💌 but according to waka-baby, you haven’t done enough to deserve a break!

💌 (it’s true, you’ve only done about 3 questions since the topic is so boring lol)

💌 BUT THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT THE POINT!

💌 begging and grovelling doesn’t work on Ushijima. and that’s when you think - what about Tiktoks?

💌 specifically the trend which has friends becoming lovers through a kiss after a single question.

💌 when Ushijima goes up to the counter to ask for more coffee, you take out your phone and quickly search for the sound.

💌 he’s not impressed by your choice to do this, but he forgets about that once he hears those sweet, sweet words.

💌 stays silent at first, as if in deep thought.

💌 “if i agree to this, will you get some work done?”

💌 “how about you agree to this, because you like me?”

💌 you used confidence! it was super effective!

💌 ushijima allows you to kiss him, and to him, your smile is brighter than the freaking sun.

💌 “lets get back to work.”

💌 but you and him both know that neither of you will be able to concentrate now :)

ATSUMU

💌 osamu’s the one who shows you the Tiktok. passed it on through kita, who’s just knowledgeable about everything??

💌 but are you sure you want to do this?

💌 h e c k y e s ☐ f r i c k n o ☒

💌 just kidding!!

💌 after showing you the video, osamu, the better twin, enlightened you about the fact that atsumu was planning to do the trend on you!

💌 cute, awh 🥺

💌 unlucky for him, you beat him to it! sorry not sorry

💌 you make your move the day before he wanted to make his.

💌 you play the sound, lowkey excited to see atsumu’s look of surprise.

💌 but...there isn’t one?

💌 what’s? going?? on???

💌 “‘you got played baby girl. ‘samu showed you the trend on purpose, and lied about me wanting to do the trend. all so that you’d be the first to admit that you like me.”

💌 he’s a little kid stuck in a teenager’s body, please forgive him.

💌 gives you one kiss for the sake of the video, and about twenty for messing around with you :))

[socheckitout-mikey]

you can totally make hc if you want!!!! i'd eat that shit up like breakfast ngl. in my opinion david is joe (kind of obvious) dwayne would be sal, marko would be murr and that makes paul q <3333

omfg yes! i had way too much fun doing these. i know they're a little shitty, but i tried istg! - mae

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The Lost Boys Pranking Each Other Like Impractical Jokers Hc's:

° I JUST KEEP IMAGINING DWAYNE AS SAL RUMMAGING THROUGH TRASH FOR HIS BIKE KEYS AND THEM LEAVING HIM DHDHDHR OR THAT TIME SAL HAD TO DIG THROUGH ELEPHANT CRAP TO GET HIS PHONE, ONLY ITS DWAYNE'S KEYS AND ALL OF A SUDDEN MARKO GOES "EH BUDDY LOOKIE ERE!" AND HE'S DANGLING HIS KEYS IN THE AIR "I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU GUYS!" SHDHFJFJF

° Paul is deadass one of the most ruthless out of all of them when it comes to prank wars. He's targeting everyone with ridiculous pranks, but they always bite him in the ass later on when he wakes up the following night with his hair dyed a luminous green. He rocks it but he totally had a nervous breakdown over it bc "THAT'S MY FUCKING HAIR MAN!"

° "Maybe you shouldn't have thrown my keys into that gross guys hotdog stand-" David drawls nonchalantly, flicking cigarette ashes at Paul's green goblin looking head.

° There was this one time that Marko attempted to prank David, and I say attempt bc it went absolutely atrociously... Maybe it was because Paul was trying to get him back and gave his buddy too much of that good green stuff. Marko's plan to train his pigeons to crap all over David had ended up with him waking up the next morning covered in pigeon shit. "Serves you right, you yutz-"

° "Man, we need to drown you in the tub." Dwayne snorts.

° "DON'T BRING THAT SHIT UP-" Paul screams from the other end of the Cave.

° "Right... But it's not like we're adding a dog into the mix..." Marko muttered under his breath, using a crumpled old napkin to clean the literal crap off of his face.

° "I SAID SHUT UP!"

° Paul thought it'd be a good idea to drop rice to bug David, but it ended up with all of them counting the fallen grains of rice lmaoo. He kept losing count and everyone got different numbers.

° Honestly, the best one's at pranking people are Dwayne and David as they're very patient and thoughtful.

° David schemes like an asshole cat, striking when you least expect it. It leaves Paul and Marko on edge for months, just waiting for David to pull a prank on them.

° "C'mon man! Just prank us already!" Paul pleads, paranoia finally driving him up the walls.

° "Yeah, we're livin' in fear here!" Marko agreed suddenly.

° "You know, you just reminded me about that..." David's just kidding, though the other two don't know that. David forget something? Not a chance. This guy is on that Petty Train™ and it's going straight to Saltyville!

° Dwayne can take years to strike with his pay back. He's got patience that even David doesn't have, and honestly, Dwayne's pranks are really intense. He'll scare the shit out of the others so much so that they don't prank him for good long while. Paul's the one who never seems to learn lmaoo.

° Well, unless he's in the mood for being playful that is...

° Like I'm talking about the fact that after digging through elephant crap in the local zoo after hours for his bike keys, he not only chased down all of them, but he kinda tied Paul and Marko up and may've just let the sun rise a little... he's waiting for an apology- he's salty now and won't care if they burn... but once he get's that apology he's been wanting to here, he's pulled them into the shadows.

° "Ahhhhh! Dwayne, man, c'mon! The suns rising!" Paul screams, thrashing around in the sturdy chains he's been bound by the wrists at.

° Dwayne responds with an expression of total anger, but it's cool and collected. He's patient. He can wait a little longer. He's in no hurry.

° Whereas David's lounging on one of the dusty old couches in the shadows. He had given Dwayne what he wanted, whether his apology was half assed or not. He still said it with some meaning, right?

° "David didn't even mean that piece of garbage he called an apology!" Marko spat out, eye cracking a vivid yellow whilst he stared directly into David's blue amused eyes.

° "Well at least I had the courage to swallow my idiotic pride~" David sing-songed joyously, folding his nimble gloved hands behind his spikes of bleach blond hair. "And it worked wonders, didn't it? I'm not the one about to be fried into ashes..."

° "Man, we're sorry alright?! We won't fuck with your bike or your keys again!" They both screamed in unison, shutting their eyes tightly as the sun began to rapidly crawl into the open space of the Cave. It's golden rays beginning to spark the ends of their blond locks alight! That was precisely what Dwayne wanted to hear, and without little thought, yanks them down and watches them scurry into a deep crack in the wall. That'd teach them from fucking with his shit ever again.

° "Fuck, my hair! It's all burnt on the ends!" Paul wails, swatting the frizzy ends rapidly to put out the sparks.

° "That's literally the least of your worries, Paul." David retorted into the air, gathering himself up from the couch and towards his own nest.

° "Yeah, we almost got fucking fried you sack of shit! This is the last time I listen to your ideas-" Marko rambles on angrily.

° Yes, they did sleep curled up together in the crack in the wall. They genuinely held each other tightly, Paul waking up from nightmares! Poor baby :'(

° Marko definitely does listen to his ideas after that lmaoo.

° Also it's very true, these guys compete to embarrass each other out in public, so much so that they've pretty much become a star attraction.

° That is until that one time Marko drop kicked Paul off the Pier and cracked his skull open... Yeah, they got into a lot of trouble for that one...

° These guys are chaotic dumbasses and their prank wars a cynical as hell. Like it get's so intense, but it's hilarious! Star and Laddie are kept entertained for ages!

° They be pranking Laddie too, but it's all in good fun. He's a kid after all! They're not gonna be excessively mean to him. That is until he fucks with their shit...

° Then you've got Paul and Marko holding him up by the scruff of his jacket, demanding where their Playboy mags, bike keys, their specific wrench is, that Deff Leppard Tape... boy you name it! They'll interrogate him good cop bad cop style lmaoo.

° Dwayne's heart kinda warms up whenever Laddie pranks him. He ruffles his hair, even if it makes him mad as hell. Laddie is his weak spot tbh.

° David just gives Laddie a pointed look and goes, "This better not become a common occurrence, otherwise I'll have to shave your head."

° Lmaoo the absolute sass that he receives from Laddie after that djkgdsghjsd-

° Sometimes David allows Paul and Marko to get away with their stupid pranks on him. Although it's incredibly annoying, he also finds it endearing how happy getting away with some of the simpler ones makes them. Paul thinks he's literally gotten away with it, but Marko knows.

° Paul deems himself to be the Prank King™ and honestly he is, but you know what? He's usually quite good natured and even though he does overstep boundaries, he'll always make things up to everyone if it really bugs them. He's out to have fun, not get murdered or cause tears. Most of the time...

° He ropes Laddie in on the pranks and loves it! Paul is a great big brother! He also enjoys pranking Star quite a bit, and she can be quite mean when returning the favor.

° Marko however, plays the dirtiest! He's pretty cynical himself, so his sadistic nature comes out full throttle. The lines within him are blurred. He's genuinely good natured usually, but once someone does something that pisses him the hell off... They best be prepared for hell to arrive at their feet.

° Like this one time, Marko cock blocked Paul for several weeks lmaoo then he ate the person Paul had the hots for. He dropped them at his feet in the Cave like, "Whoopsie!" He got into so much shit from Max bc that person was like hella important, I'm talking celebrity status sfjdshfhjsdfnbds

° David's just cynical as hell and he's always got something witty to say during or after it. Definitely mocks them dsjgdsjfds David's just an asshole cat istg! I mean, not even Star is safe from his pranks, but he kinda has a sisterly soft spot for her. He likes to dig deep under her skin and bug her. She's quite fiery honestly.

° Pranks with the Lost Boys is incredibly chaotic to round it off.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

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[setsuntamew]

So, Persona 5 Royal, huh?

Full disclosure: I had gotten about halfway through November on Wednesday and finished it out Saturday night, which took uhhh about 65-70 hours? Some of that was sitting there waiting for the PS4 controller to recharge or listening to music in the Thieves Den while eating, but I still feel like I need to own up to how extremely bad I am at making good decisions with my life XD

MOVING ON, THOUGH, HOLY SHIT. P5 was a very good game, but Royal’s additions & changes made it incredible. I like the ending way more; I think it’s more emotionally fulfilling and meaningful, especially with everyone’s more defined future plans. Definitely felt like everyone had more growth in the end!! Which is something I’d always thought P5 was lacking.

Snip snip for spoilers and the fact that this post ended up being too damn long, oops! the last third is basically Akechi feels and analyzing his ending, so......yeah XD

Part of why I plowed through SO much of Royal in so little time is....Akechi XD Like okay, this is my stupid fandom blog, I can be excited about him all I want!!! I got to Sae’s Palace and just....I couldn’t put it down. @dragonofeternal​ and I ordered an embarrassing amount of takeout instead of cooking because we just had to see how everything with Maruki and the third semester was gonna go down. I’d already been dying along the way because Akechi’s confidant dates are so good, I just. Fuck!!!

Also, look, for the entirity of Shido’s boss fight and the depths of Mementos/Yaldabaoth/etc, we’d look at each other every few minutes and just be like AKECHI SHOULD BE HERE WITH US, HE DESERVES TO GET HIS VENGEANCE ON HIS SHITTY DAD AND FORCED DESTINY!!!!!

December 24th had to be the longest god damn day in Akira’s life because like. Final exam grades are posted in the morning! He goes to school and then dives into hell, crawls his way back out, briefly dies by fading from human cognition, fights an actual fucking god, and then....ends up dissociating in Shibuya until Sae shows up and is like “oh hey thanks for everything you did, please sign up for being arrested now.” And while he’s still reeling from that, Akechi walks up to take his place, like some kind of bullshit knight in shining armor schtick, and leaves no room for conversation.

AND THEN WE HAVE TO GO ON A DATE

I romanced Hifumi this time around, because I wanted Akria to bang a girl who is just so incredibly out of his league, but....it’s not necessarily that I forgot I was dating someone, more that it had been *so many hours of plot* that I was emotionally exhausted. Like, Hifumi texted me and I was just like. Right. RIGHT. It’s still Christmas Eve, somehow. I was at *school* this morning. The whole world merged with Mementos briefly in the middle of this, Akechi is somehow alive, and I guess I’m going on a date now????

I do appreciate how many “god I’m just dissociating my way through this” conversation options there were for the date, tbh. I feel bad though, I really like Hifumi, but I feel like Akira is not giving a date his full emotional attention at that specific time. It feels a bit like emotional whiplash, more so than I remember it being in P5? Maybe it’s because I played it 4 years ago and there wasn’t the added emotional weight of Akechi’s reappearance, but it was just like....a lot, in Royal.

AND THEN THE NEW YEAR HAPPENED. I’d been spoiled on large parts of the third semester, mostly because Royal’s been out for a year already and I’m too curious for my own good. I’d also somehow lied to myself, saying I didn’t have time to play another Persona game right now, and yet here I am, 171 hours of game play within exactly a month, kicking myself for not knowing how deep in Persona hell I would get XD

Which is to say, as soon as the new year started, it felt I was drowning in anxiety. I knew something was wrong, I knew they were in a false reality, but knowing that sure as fuck didn’t make it easier to go through. If anything, it was somehow worse, knowing that it was all gonna come crumbling down, but I didn’t yet know the exact details, only the broad strokes of it. Just. Every time someone talked about something that was wrong, my heart would clench.

God, I’m so fucking tired, I pulled an all-nighter on Friday so I could get through Royal before having to work on Sunday, and I am feeling it right now. Life tips: don’t do what I do XD

Every moment with Akechi felt like borrowed time, at least for me, because I knew what was coming. I spent so much time in Mementos with him; I ended up putting just him and Akira in my party and plowing through everything, including trouncing the Reaper over and over just for the hell of it. I got his ultimate weapons, I spent so many nights in the jazz club with him that he ran out of dialogue options, and I still took him back for more. I accidentally failed to EVER trigger Sumire’s Showtime because every fight was just Akira and Akechi against the world, because fuck it, I’m playing this for fun!! If I want to play with them in stupid costumes and no one else in the party, I’m gonna. Royal did such an incredible job giving Akechi more depth and development: it was all I could hope for, and it made it that much fucking worse to know what was in store for him.

Somehow, I thought it would be harder for me to make the decision to refuse Maruki’s deal, since fuck, fuck what I wouldn’t give for Akechi to be alive???? But I barely hesitated, only really stopping because I had to emotionally brace myself for it, because a reality where he can’t carve out his own fate would be a disrespect to everything their relationship is built on.

I have a whole shit ton of feelings about post-beating Maruki but they’re basically all Akechi related meta so somehow they ended up at the end of this post, I’m sorry XD

I understand that they had to keep the going to jail bit because 1) Akechi didn’t turn himself in, Akira did and 2) it leads to the final events of the game, but let me just say....the emotional roller coaster of fighting Maruki, almost failing multiple times, waking up in jail, the Phantom Thieves & friends getting Akira out of jail, celebrating that, and then getting thrown into Valentines Day was a LOT for my heart to take. Once again, didn’t forget I had a girlfriend, just got too invested in the plot to really be thinking about her. It’s less than two weeks after the fight with Maruki and somehow, everything is supposed to be okay????

The scene with everyone talking about their future plans is such good character growth, though. Everyone feels like they’ve truly grown and are making decisions that, even though they might be painful or hard at times, are ultimately very important to them. It’s a really good contrast to the “almost everyone goes to Shujin and they all stay in Tokyo forever without doing anything for themselves” Maruki’s perfect reality bad end.

Standing in the Underground Mall on White Day, being told I had to get flowers but finally being able to have control of Akira again was....so bittersweet. The fact that the location of the date is the aquarium is a low fucking blow, and I almost threw the controller across the room I was so upset. Like. THE AQUARIUM IS UNLOCKED BECAUSE AKECHI HAS TICKETS HOW FUCKING DARE SOJIRO SUGGEST IT LIKE MY HEART ISN’T STILL ACHING????? God, speaking of that: The fucking god damn Featherman video game tore my heart out because I ended up playing it WHILE WORKING ON SHIDO’S PALACE and I cried a ton about Gray Pigeon because of course they had to dig the emotional knife in even deeper!! Just fuck me up, it’s fine, I’m just dying!!!!!!!!!!!!

I ended up scrolling through his texts to find the group chats that still had Akechi in them, and fuck, it was a LOT. Like. Maybe it’s because I’m too invested in the two of them, but it was probably the worst emotional whiplash of the whole game. Like, how am I supposed to go play happy with anyone while staring at texts from a reality built of lies? It wasn’t real but the proof lives on in his phone and his heart, and I’m still fucked up over it.

HOWEVER. FUCKING. I SPENT LIKE HALF AN HOUR BEING EMOTIONALLY COMPROMISED ABOUT ALL THIS AND THEN DISCOVERED THE BASTARD STILL HAD ALL HIS EQUIPMENT, INCLUDING THE ULTIMATE MALE ARMOR!!! He returned his shit after Sae’s Palace even though he thought Akira was dead, but this time it didn’t get fucking returned to my inventory, so he must have fucking run off with all his shit!!!!!!! Why the hell did none of it get returned if he was never alive in the true reality? Like I know it'll be returned for a new game+ but I like to nitpick game mechanics for story reasons, because one of the things I love most about video games is the experience of them as another layer to the story. The texts from the third semester shouldn’t exist anymore, since they never really existed, but there they are. Akechi insisted that he has a gap in his memory after Shido’s Palace up until seeing Akira on Christmas Eve, but who can say that wasn’t related to Maruki tampering with reality or some other Persona-related reason?

I mean. I got the full and complete True Ending; I saw him in the train station. If that’s not Akechi, then who the fuck is it? Atlus made sure to put the work in to make him a part of not just the main story but also, especially, the third semester, and for what....to have his final time on screen be as the butt of the joke, squished underneath everyone in the Mona-copter? As much as it hurts, his end in Shido’s Palace matters; it fits his character and he gets to go out fighting- carving his own path, really. In Royal, barring the tiny glimpse of someone who’s probably him in the train station, the last we see of him is when he watches Joker let go of the rope to finish off Maruki. I know we got the heart to heart where Akira agrees to reject Maruki’s deal and Akechi insists that he’d rather be dead than live in a false reality, but.....no one even says goodbye to him. It’s tragic, it’s painfully lonely, but it doesn’t feel right for such a major character.

Also, as undignified as it is, for the first time ever, Akechi looks like he actually belongs in the Phantom Thieves in that final moment. He’s never been the butt of their jokes before; they always kept him at arms’ reach and he took himself too seriously to be included, but for that brief moment, it really felt like he was part of their group. He stopped lying about himself for their last month together, and so even if they don’t all like him, they can make that decision based on the truth, instead of layers of lies. His death is all the more tragic for this; a life cut short just when he’s finally finding a place he belongs. But his death was already painful; why make it so, so much worse?

Final thing: I’m gonna be spending a ton of time in the Thieves Den trying to find Akechi’s opinions on everything, but also....hey. HEY. What do those six stars that Jose (probably?) painted on the wall mean? Is it just a reference to Persona 6???? LIKE????? I HAVE QUESTIONS. SO, SO MANY QUESTIONS!!!!

Anyway, I’ve gotta go cry into my Starbucks and desperately try to focus on actually doing my job at work, but I loved Royal deeply and cannot wait to drown in it ;w;

[piscesparker]

Undercover Lovers

Mob! Tom AU

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Warnings: Language maybe?

When you came back home you were absolutely devastated, you couldn't believe that you failed your mission, but decided to brush it off. Switching on the lights you were startled by a familiar figure sitting on one of the stools near the kitchen island. 

"Jeez! Q you scared me!" You jumped as your hand went over you rapidly beating heart. 

"What the hell happened?" 

"He got away." You sighed, taking out the painful heels off your feet.

"I know! Why did you let that happen?" 

"Oh, I don't know, maybe I was trying not to get shot?" You yelled at him in frustration. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled." You apologize as you ran your fingers through the hair. 

"Its okay, um, well we found the identity of the shooter who was there." He informed sliding the black file towards you. 

"Who is it?"

"Harrison Osterfield, the leaders best friend." 

"Wait, but why did he try to take him down?" 

Q simply shrugged, even in this time of stress your mind went back to the brunet who stole your heart. "Hey, Q? I need a favor." He nodded. "I need your help to go off grid for a few hours."

"Why?"

"Well, I got a date and I don't want M to know, especially after tonight." 

"I could get something done." he smirked. 

As he was about to leave you remembered something, "Q, how did you get in?" 

His eyes widened and he slammed the door behind him, "Q!!" You called out sternly after him. 

--

"Where are you going?" Tom asked Harry, who was heading out the door. 

"I was going to meet mum and dad." He hesitated. 

Ever since Tom had left his parents to join the mob, he wasn't on talking terms with them. He sighed, "Okay, but be back soon."

And ever since the night of the gala Harrison has been acting a bit shady towards his best friend, all he wants is to protect him. Though what they were doing was illegal, he still didn't want to lose his best friend. 

--

It was now Monday, and you were beyond ecstatic for your date with Tom, you two had decided on grabbing some lunch and then a walk in the park. 

As you were putting the finishing touches on your makeup, the door bell rang signalling that Tom was here. Opening the door revealed Tom in a white buttoned up shirt, making him look more buff. He had a bouquet of tulips which you gladly accepted, making way for him to come in as you placed them in a vase; grabbing your purse, you head out the door.  

You and Tom were walking in the park and so far the date was extremely well, this feeling that you've had all day was something very new for you and you couldn't wait for what more was held for the two. While walking your hands brushed against each other's quite a few times until you finally gathered the courage and slipped your hand into his and intertwining it.

You talked about your childhood and families, he told you how his parents disowned him because he wanted to start his company. Of course he wouldn't tell her his real job. You too steered away from telling your real job.  

For once in your life you felt content any normal person would, when suddenly your phone rang, M. You wished so bad that you could ignore it but you just couldn't, you mentally cursed yourself for making your job a priority. You still kept looking at your phone when Tom snatched you out of your thoughts. "Is something wrong?" 

"Oh no, no it's just my..." You trailed off thinking for an excuse, "Mom." You blurted out. You abruptly picked up the call considering how long it had been ringing. 

"007, we need you at HQ ASAP!" You just sighed in response before cutting the call, you were having such a great time with Tom, and didn't want to leave him. 

"I'm sorry, I really have to go." You apologized. 

"Is everything okay?" 

"Oh, yeah everything is fine." 

"Do you want me to drop you off somewhere?" He asked, but you politely decline. I'm mean it would be easier to turn him in now, only of you knew who he was. 

"So, I'll call you?" You asked hoping he would agree. 

"Yeah, sure!" 

--

You rushed into M's  office and witnessed three worried head whip at your arrival. 

"What took you so long 007? We've been waiting here for quite some time."

"Sorry, I was busy." You apologized as you took a seat. 

"Great news 007! We've finally got a picture of the leader of The London Dogs." Q exclaimed as he handed over the black file to you. Opening the file, revealed to you, your worst nightmare. 

"His name is Tom Holland and he along with his brothers, Harry and Sam Holland, run the business." Q added. Your heart dropped, how could it be possible? You started questioning every single moment with him, he seemed so sweet. 

"Excuse me 007, are we boring you?" M said sternly. 

"No, not at all." 

"Good because we need to come up with a new plan." M instructed

General Taglist: @in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh @perspectiveparker @veronica011sblog @hollanderfangirl @calltothewild @parkerpeter24 @whatthefuckimbisexual @musicalkeys @rnatasha @hollands-weasley @peterspideysstuff @ethereal-beauty-p @parker-hollandx @theonly1outof-a-billion @miraclesoflove @theliterarymess @osterfieldholland01

Tom Holland Taglist: @words-to-accomplish-something @asshatgrace @fancyxparker

[et-lesailes]

safe place

pairing: chris evans x reader

word count: 3500 waow

summary: while clubbing in boston, you happen to see your favorite actor, none other than chris evans himself. unfortunately, his anxiety seems to be acting up again, and you can tell. you have a plan to help him out, and even though you know fully well you could embarrass yourself, you’ve gotta try it for him.

themes: this is just pretty chill n fluffy, highlights struggles with anxiety as well!

taglist: @viarogers , @evanstush , @chibi-crazy , @chalamet-evans , @world-of-losers , @songforhema, @sebabestianstan101 , @tanyam93 , @bval-1, @wonderwinchester , @little-miss-exo, @poerebel , @pining-and-tired , @gogomez-509 , @patzammit, @a-distantdreamer, @malthestorytellerblog, @rainbowkisses31, @jbug491writinghelp, @quaiderade

note: yeah kinda had sudden muse for this out of nowhere hence the longer word count, and i really luv discussing mental health so i thought it could be kind of interesting to talk about anxiety in this one. tbh i feel like it’s a lot of rambling so i apologize in advance! hope you all like it though!

It had been a while since you had been out with your girlfriends, but now that everyone was back home in Boston for at least some of the summer, it was a good chance to catch up with the friends you had made back in high school and reminisce on all of the good times. You had remained in Boston for work along with a couple of others, but everyone else had moved to all different parts of the country-- it seemed like a miracle in itself that everyone was able to make it back at the same time, but you had also all planned for this. To take the same week off from work, summer classes, whatever it was everyone was doing-- all to go back home and reconvene as one big group.

It was Friday night, and you were ready to hit the clubs. You inspected yourself in the mirror of your apartment where everyone had decided to gather to get ready, smiling satisfied at what you saw. A typical LBD was perfect for a night like this-- yes, it was cliche, but you didn’t care. You looked good. It was just the right amount of revealing, showcasing cleavage and legs that managed to look slightly lengthier thanks to the shoes you had picked for the night, and you had actually decided to do your hair for once. “Whew! You look sexy!” your friend Delia complimented, and you shot her a little grin. “Thanks, Del. So do you, red is really your color.”

After taking at least a couple more shots, you were all ready to go. Piling into an UberXL, you made your way deeper into the city where the best nightlife was, reveling in just the perfect amount of buzz and feeling ready for anything. You had been planning on dancing with a few guys tonight, maybe getting a little action in, but nothing serious. You definitely had not been expecting on meeting him.

_____________

As a group of young women, it was rather easy to get access to VIP. Besides, a majority of you had been brought up in Boston; by now, you knew people, had connections. You were currently lounging on a plush leather couch with a fifteen dollar drink in your hand, deciding to worry about the consequences the next day. Most of your friends were off dancing with other people they had befriended in the club, so it was just you and a couple others chilling, drinking, and talking-- and then you suddenly felt a rough nudge to your arm. “Ouch. Gabby, what the hell?” You wrinkled your nose though you were mostly exaggerating, looking to her with more amusement than anything. “What?” However, you were far more intrigued upon seeing the shock upon her face as she was staring at something a little further away. You followed her gaze, only seeing a crowd of people and iPhone camera flashes in the next couch area a few feet away. “What?” you repeated yourself, craning your neck trying to see what the big deal was. You could see a Red Sox cap sticking out from the center, but that was not anything interesting considering you were literally 3 miles away from Fenway.

And then the figure with the cap moved slightly, and you almost spit out your drink.

“It’s him, isn’t it?” Gabby seemed to have found her voice again, her eyes widening. “That’s Chris fuckin’ Evans. Oh my God, should we go say hi?” You still had your eyes on him, unable to help it-- God, he was even more gorgeous in person. You were about to agree instantly, the awe practically taking over your inebriated mind. Of course you wanted to say hi. You had loved Marvel for years now, and Captain America was your favorite Avenger. Not only that, but you had taken a liking to Chris’ acting because of his Marvel movies, which had encouraged you to watch several others. Living in Boston, it had always been a hope of yours that you would somehow run into him, but you never imagined it would actually happen. And now here he was, standing about five feet away from you-- sure, he was surrounded by girls, but you and Gabby could totally squeeze through.

But then you stopped to actually look at him. Not in the fangirling, celebrity idolizing way, but just to actually look at him. You could see on his face that he looked a little tired. Like his smile was forced. It did not seem disrespectful to you, but more so that he was… overwhelmed. He was still taking pictures with every single girl around him, even making effort in having conversation, but you caught every single sign. The frequent looking around, eyes not focused on one thing or one person. How he’d take off his hat and run his hand through his hair, but practically every ten seconds. The slight inward tug of his bottom lip, and while he made it look sexy, it was obvious he was not doing it to be seductive. You had listened to interviews of Chris speaking of his anxiety, and considering you had faced it before and had friends who did as well, it was hard not to see the signs. Now, if anything, you were getting a little pissed at these clubbers surrounding him, even though you were almost quite literally going to be one yourself.

“He seems a little on edge right now,” you noted, frowning slightly. “Maybe we should wait a bit, yeah? It’s not like VIP’s that crowded anyways, so hopefully once those girls leave him alone we can have a chance to just say hi or something.” Gabby sighed loudly but nodded her head. “Okay, okay, fine. But I’m gonna head downstairs to tell the girls. You stay here and keep an eye on him!”

“Wait--” you started to say, not wanting her to spread the news, but she was already leaving in a tipsy fit of giggles and excitement. You sighed and looked back towards him. He seemed even worse than before, and it had only been five seconds.

And then an idea came to you, and you nibbled on your lower lip wondering if you could really be that drunk or if this was just actually a brilliant plan. No. No, no. It was crazy. Absolutely insane, really, and you would look like a total idiot if it didn’t work. Which it most likely wouldn’t.

And so you downed the rest of your drink, barely fazed by the bitter taste of alcohol at this point as you stood up, taking a deep breath. Walking right over, you called out as loudly and confidently as possible over the music. “Chris? Chris! Chris, is that you? Oh my God, it’s been so long since I’ve seen you last! I can’t believe you’re back in town, this is great!”

Everyone immediately turned around to look at you, and you prayed that your cheeks weren’t burning. God, what had you done? How drunk could you be? Part of you wanted to simply turn around and run away, it wasn’t like you’d ever see him again. But you watched his reaction, hoping your own expression was visible enough to him to show that you were very clearly hinting at him to go along with it. At least, if anything, this pressure was helping in somewhat distracting you from how damn handsome he looked up close. How was it possible that the camera didn’t do him justice when he looked so hot in all of his photos?

Yeah, maybe you still were a little caught up in how handsome he was.

He seemed a little confused for a second, but suddenly, the corner of his lips tugged upwards. Your heart raced faster. Was he about to laugh at you, humiliate you in front of his fangirls? Or was your plan working? “Holy shit,” he stated, lightly pushing himself through the small crowd to step closer to you. “I didn’t know you were still in town, that’s crazy! Fuck, how long has it been? A year? Two? I’m so happy to see you!” You could not believe it; there were at least a million thoughts running through your mind right now. He actually went along with it. He’s standing right in front of me now. He’s smiling at me, having a direct conversation with me. And he swore, oh God, he sounds so hot swearing…

You snapped yourself back to reality. This was not about meeting your idol at the moment, this was about helping someone with what could turn into a straight up panic attack if this kept on any longer. You smiled back at him brightly before looking around at everyone, clearing your throat. He might have had to be polite because he had an image to protect, but you did not. “Excuse me, can you please leave us alone? Chris is one of my friends and I’d like to be able to catch up with him. And I’m pretty sure half of you aren’t even supposed to be up here…” you commented with a raised eyebrow, eyes glancing towards the lack of VIP wristbands on their arms. There was a lot of scoffing, huffing, and bitchy glares, but they eventually turned away, all furiously typing away on their phones most likely posting photos on every social media site possible. 

You exhaled just as he did, looking up at him and clearing your throat. “I can, uh, leave you alone if you want. I swear I didn’t just do this to be able to talk to you too, I just noticed you looked a little… stressed.” You paused before quickly adding, “Not that I don’t want to talk to you. I mean, fuck, I love your shit, you know? I think you’re a great actor. But you shouldn’t be swarmed by fans or anything. So, yeah, I can leave.” After that word vomit, you decided the only proper way to do said leaving was flinging yourself off the balcony. But instead, he just smiled wider as he looked down at you, shaking his head. “No, no. Of course not. I really appreciate what you did for me back there, trust me.” He tilted his head, seeming curious. “Did I really look stressed?” You blinked but nodded truthfully, biting your lip. “It just looked like a typical bout of anxiety to me, if we’re being honest,” you told him, then wondered if that was somehow offensive. “I mean, I know just because you mentioned having it doesn’t mean you’re just always some anxious person, and I’m not trying to assume anything either but I’ve also had experiences with it too so it’s kind of easier to catch signs, you know? But if I was wrong then I’m really so-”

“You weren’t wrong,” he cut you off, but he was still smiling kindly at you. Damn, his eyes are beautiful. “Yeah, I was definitely feeling a little crowded back there. So thank you. Really. What’s your name? Can I buy you a drink?” You looked up at him somewhat shocked. “Me? Oh, please, you really don’t have to do that,” you shook your head, not wanting him to feel obliged to you in any means whatsoever, even though a drink would Chris Evans would probably be all you needed to die happy. “I’m sure you have friends waiting on you or something, really, it’s okay. I genuinely just wanted to help.” He raised an eyebrow, slightly stepping closer and it was taking you everything not to creepily deeply inhale from how good his cologne smelt. “And I genuinely want to buy you a drink,” he spoke with an amused grin, eyes twinkling even more than before. “Please. Or if you don’t drink, I can at least get you a--”

“Oh I drink.” You cut him off way too fast, then realized afterwards. “Okay, but like, I don’t mean I’m an alcoholic or anything, I just--” you finally just sighed loudly, looking down for a few seconds before looking up at him, silently cursing your brain for not allowing you to sober up at least a little. Despite the fact that it was solely your fault for having decided to chug a freaking vodka sour. “Okay, yes. Let’s do this. But-- unfortunately my friend is about to bring my entire horde of friends up here, so let’s try a different bar in this club.” He was laughing as he listened to you, but it did not feel mean or embarrassing; he simply seemed like he was actually having a fun time with you, almost as if he were a friend. He then blinked, curious and slightly confused. “In this club? Is there another one, besides the VIP one and the general one downstairs?” You laughed softly, nodding your head. “You gotta come back to Boston more! They just opened a rooftop one upstairs that’s way less crowded, but it’s pretty exclusive.” You raised a brow, continuing, “But I’m pretty sure we won’t have any problem getting in...” He chuckled and it was a deep rumble of heaven, but you forced yourself not to be annoying or even more triggering towards his anxiety. “Well, that would have been nice to know earlier, but I’m glad I at least get to know it from you. Lead the way….” he trailed off, waiting for a name to use. You giggled lightly at the slight flirtation, in disbelief that it was even happening but of course introduced yourself, lightly taking his outstretched arm and walking towards the staircase to the roof.

_____________

“Sebastian said that to you? Oh my God, that’s hilarious.” You laughed upon listening to a story he was telling you from a drunken night he, Sebastian Stan, and Anthony Mackie had shared in LA, a beam spread across your entire face. “You guys seem like such cute friends.” He laughed and nodded his head fondly, looking out towards the view. “Eh, they’re alright, I suppose,” he spoke playfully, and you giggled for the hundredth time within that hour, looking out towards the city lights yourself. 

The two of you had been chatting away, the peaceful nighttime air and breeze definitely helping you in sobering up a little more. Not that you had been absolutely trashed before, but you wanted to be as present in this moment as possible. You knew something like this would never happen again, but you were trying not to think about that. You loved that he was also asking you questions about yourself, and seemed sincerely interested, at that. He was so easy to converse with, so relaxed and thoughtful, you felt bad knowing what his anxiety could do to such a kindhearted person like him. You were sure he would have loved to be like this with all of his fans, but he had even explained to you himself that it was difficult for him to be in front of big crowds. “I know that seems kinda ridiculous coming from a Hollywood actor,” he said with a sigh, chuckling lightly, “but I can’t control it, ya know? I wish I could.” You nodded sympathetically, unable to even imagine what it would be like having to deal with such conflict in his current occupation. 

“But what about you?” he asked, surprising you again even though he had shown genuine interest in you and your life this entire time. “You said you’ve dealt with anxiety before, too?” You nodded with a sigh, taking a sip of your drink. “It used to be pretty bad for me in high school. I guess high school’s just a rough time in general, though,” you said with a laugh, shrugging your shoulders. “I still get attacks every now and then, but I’ve learned how to cope with it much better. Definitely better than hormonal, puberty ridden me, anyways,” you chuckled. He laughed too and you tried to ignore how adorable the sound as well as his face was when he did so. “Mm. Definitely don’t wanna reminisce on those days,” he playfully shuddered before tilting his head with interest. “How do you cope with it?” You could not believe Chris Evans was here asking you for advice, but you pondered this over. “I guess this is common sense and easier said than done, but I think I’m just a lot better at being able to mentally step back from a situation and think it through more logically when I’m feeling anxious. I just go through a rundown in my head and remind myself that it’s okay. It also helps distracting myself from it by talking to friends, like to call my best friend if I’m feeling down or weird about something.” You told him, barely biting your lip-- you had never really talked about such topics with any guys before, and it was crazy how it felt so comfortable with a celebrity. 

“Yeah? Well maybe next time you could call me, too?” he asked, and you were practically baffled. “Like, on my cell phone?” you asked rather dumbly, then closed your eyes as you rubbed your forehead. “Okay, yeah. Duh. My cell phone. It’s not like I own a landline. Who really does anymore, besides old people. But I mean--” you stopped and collected your thoughts briefly before looking up at him. “You’d really feel comfortable giving me your phone number? And you actually want to… talk?” He laughed again, even tilting his head back slightly before nodding with a wide smile. “Yeah. I mean, hell yeah, I do. I’ve had a lot of fun talking to you tonight.” He slid his phone out of his pocket, unlocking and handing it to you with a hopeful grin. You slowly smiled, nodding and taking it from him to input your number. Much to your delight, when handing it back he went straight to sending you a message, looking to you as he arched an eyebrow playfully. “You have my number now, right? You didn’t give me a fake one?” You blinked before laughing loudly, taking your phone out of your little crossbody bag. “Why the hell would I give you, of all people, a fake number?” You waved your phone at him to show him that the message had come up on the device, then looked down at it to save his number. You had assumed he just sent a “hi” or an emoji, something simple-- but you paused as your eyes scanned the words on your screen.

“Go on a date with me.”

You stared at it somewhat dumbfounded before looking up at him, knowing your cheeks were slightly red. “A-a date?” you asked; sure, the two of you had been hitting it off and flirting a little, but you had kept reminding yourself throughout the conversation that he was a celebrity. He probably had tons of girls in his life, you were someone who could just be an acquaintance. If that. But now he wanted to take you out on an actual date?

“I’m in Boston for the next few months. And I know that’s not permanent, but I really, really liked talking to you tonight, and.. I want to see if this works. Please.” You almost didn’t reply due to being too shocked that he was begging you to date him, but you quickly cleared your throat. “I’d… yeah, I’d really like that.” You admitted, feeling excited and terrified all at once. But that was how dating should feel, right? “But, um, how does this… work? Do you, like, not want me to tell anyone…? Do I not save your number at all, in case anyone hacks into my phone? Or should I just save you as a fake--”

“Okay, okay, don’t go all secret agent on me.” He interrupted you with a loud laugh, eyes twinkling fondly as he gazed down at you. “Honestly… I trust you. Call it a gut instinct, but I do. So tell whoever you’d like, or don’t. The only thing I’m more worried about is your own privacy, because it most likely won’t be respected if we’re not careful about this. But when it comes to people knowing about me taking you out, that’s fine with me. I’m allowed to have a love life, aren’t I?” he said with a smile, then glanced down at his phone. “Oh, shit. I need to go, my brother’s waiting for me. And I’m sure your friends are, too.” He looked at you and chuckled softly, probably at the disappointed face you wore. “Hey. Text me tonight, alright? Promise.” You smiled at that, arching an eyebrow playfully, teasing, “Wow, you’re already pretty needy, huh? Yikes, what am I agreeing to here?” He blinked before scoffing, though clearly amused. “You know what? Yeah, I am. And it’s your fault.” 

He suddenly took a light hold of your waist, gently pulling you closer to him and leaned down. You widened your eyes slightly but did not move away, looking up into his beautiful blue orbs instead silently confirming that you were alright with what was about to happen. 

You would remember that kiss for the rest of your damn life-- you were sure of it. 

[disneychannie]

perpetually | k.junmyeon

pairings: junmyeon x reader

word count: 2.4k words

genre: fluff, slice of life au, non-idol au

warnings: mild swearing, mentions of subtle smut

summary: junmyeon knows for sure that he was going to mary you and make him your forever. though he was sure you were going to say ‘yes’ he still had doubt. i mean, who wouldn’t when he was dating the most prettiest girl on planet earth?

(capslock unintended)

to junmyeon, you were like a snowflake.

pure, soft, and most of all beautiful, inside and out. it was no doubt that one day he was going to propose to you. being together for almost 6 years pretty much seals the deal that he wants to be with you forever.

having to meet each other during your first years of uni till now, it was pretty shocking that the both of you managed to stay together for that long and keep loving each other even more every single day.

he loved the way you helped him go through law school with such ease and practically made everything easier for him despite you yourself having your own studies to worry over, you still chose to help junmyeon help whenever you could. thanks to you he was now one of the best new layers despite just having to get the job at a prestigious law firms two years ago. you on the other hand were a nurse at a hospital near his office which was easier for the both of you. which then evolves to the both of you going to work together (when you don’t have the late night shifts) and having quick lunch breaks at the local cafe nearby.

it was perfect.

the topic of getting married has been brought up a few times by him and he remembered how your eyes lit up at the idea of starting a big family with junmyeon with little cardboard copies of you running around your home. it was the future you could think of with junmyeon. but the both of you agreed to think about the whole marriage and kids stuff once you have stable jobs and is financially stable.

but what you didn’t know was that junmyeon has been saving up for a trip to paris where he planned on proposing to you there. he knew how cliché it sounds now that he think of It but he knows how much you love those kinds of things. sappy romance movies, dancing in the pouring rain, you were a sucker for those and junmyeon had to admit that he was too.

so what’s better than having to propose to you at the city of love in front of the infamous eiffel tower? 

what's amazing about it is that he didn't exactly think twice about wanting to propose to you. he knew that you were ready and so was he, so fuck it why not just do it? 

it did take him a lot of reassurance to actually muster up and go on with his plans from his best friend sehun. thought the younger knew how anxious his older friend could be, he knew that in the end this is still what he wanted and he wouldn’t change his mind.

though junmyeon at heart is sure that you will say yes, he is aware that things could go wrong and just the span of the trip and that got him all work up. the anxiousness costed him extra stress and two bottles of vodka. 

“what if she says no sehun? i don’t know if I can move on with life anymore,” junmyeon slurred. even with the amount of alcohol in his system, he still managed to think about you rejecting his proposal.

sehun only managed to grab the vodka bottle from his hand and wrapped his arms around his hyung’s shoulder.

“stop saying nonsense, you and I know that she’s going to say yes, she loves you too much to say no hung and you’re conscious of that right? you guys are meant for each other it’s impossible for you two to be apart from eachother,” 

“you’re right sehun,” junmyeon said bringing his head up from the bar table. “she’s going to say yes,”

so the next morning, he woke up to you probably at work already seemingly mostly on saturdays you still had to go to the hospital. he then saw the aspirin and the glass of water on his bedside table with a little note attached to it.

“to my junmyeon, you were pretty darn drunk last night and I can’t believe sehun told me you finished a bottle of vodka by yourself! that’s hot tbh take the pills and I'll see you tonight my love!”

- your sweet y/n :p

hell fucking yeah he was going to marry you

it was almost mid night when you came home and you were still in your dirty scrubs when you opened your apartment door to be met with junmyeon on the couch bundled up with your cat sleeping peacefully at at the other end of the sofa. 

startled from the sound of the door being swung open, he looked up from his phone and saw that you’ve arrived already. 

“myeon? why aren’t you asleep yet?” you questioned while shrugging your coat off from your cold body. though you weren’t complaining seemingly junmyeon was usually knocked out by 10. 

standing up from his laying position on the cozy couch he watched as you dropped your back on the coffee table as you walked over to him.

“is everything okay? you look pretty pale, are you sick?” you started to ramble on with questions at his tired figure. even with your probably stained with blood scrubs and the evident dark circles under your eyes, you still looked beautiful to him.

junmyeon just laughed and held your small hands in his big ones.

“I just have a surprise for you, I wanted to tell you over dinner tomorrow but I’m too excited to wait that long,” he said, his palms starting to get pretty sweaty from being too nervous.

“what is it?” you said grinning suddenly excited over what his surprise could be.

“I was planning on taking you to a wonderful week in paris as a vacation and, before you could say anything, I already talked this over with the hospital and they agreed on giving one of their best nurses a well-deserved break,” he said.

you couldn’t contain your joy and started squealing as you jumped around from your spot obviously happy that you finally got to go to your dream vacation place. junmyeon just smiled at your excited figure. 

you’re cute

“oh my god junmyeon is this for real? please don’t lie to me,” you said with a pleading look on your face.

“y/n,” junmyeon said as he laughed, “why would I be lying to you? after all these years you still think I would joke about this stuff?”

you then pulled his collar so that you could give him a loving kiss on the lips. by instinct, junmyeon then wrapped his arms around your small figure as your lips move in sync.

“thank you junmyeon, I really appreciate this so much,” you said as tears started to form in your eyes. you were definitely stressed from work and this one week vacation to a magical place seemed like a whole package for you.

“you know you deserve this right? I'm just being a good boyfriend,” he replied.

you then grinned and pulled him closer.

“let me show you how good you are then,” you whispered.

-

it was finally the day of the trip and it was hard to go throughout the weeks till the day of your departure without having to daydream about all the things you were bound to do with junmyeon there.

on the plane junmyeon know how you couldn’t control your excitement as you kept looking out the window of the airplane from your window seat with excitement in your eyes. the clouds looked the softest as you told junmyeon how you wanted to just flop and snuggle on the pillows. instead, you snuggled against his shoulders as you waited for your arrival.

the second you stepped of the airport you couldn’t stop squealing. you were finally here! all junmyeon could do was genuinely smile at your ethics. no doubt you’re cute when you’re excited.

the two of you opted on just sleeping as soon as you arrived at your hotel room because it was already past midnight and you needed every energy you needed to go touring around the city the next day.

that night you slept close to junmyeon as he held you tightly against his bigger figure. even with all the energy you had in the beginning, the second your head hit the pillows, you were a goner.

junmyeon couldn’t sleep that night, instead he thought about how the proposal would go. he was scared that you were gonna reject his proposal though he already knew you were gonna say yes. you’ll never know how things are going to go in the future.

the next few days were amazing as it could already. you tried so many new food and went to every cafe you passed by and tried the pastries and coffees there. you even visited the famous tourist attractions there and didn’t forget to take aesthetic pictures of each other. being the museum enthusiast you and junmyeon are, you visited the oh so famous Louvre Museum where you and even junmyeon were ecstatic about. having to only see them in television shows and pictures, you finally got to see it in real life.

and you couldn’t forget to visit the Eiffel Tower. where junmyeon planned on proposing to you. but he planned on doing it the night before you had to leave, in front of the shinning Eiffel Tower with the stars shining above you.

the second you saw the Eiffel Tower, the look on your face was as if a kid who had just gotten his favourite candy. you and junmyeon bought the warm churros and bagel from one of the many food trucks and two cups of hot chocolate as you both strolled along the park, talking about everything and anything with laughter filling the air.

things were going great just like he planned it to be and seeing you happy like this made his insides feel warm and made the butterflies in his stomach erupt. you looked beautiful with your hair dancing around with the wind, even if some stuck on your face, you still looked like an angel with that beautiful smile on your face and how your eyes would smile as you do.

finally, the last night strolled on by fairly quickly as the both of you are now walking hand in hand to the Eiffel Tower. the night was rather cold and junmyeon didn't forget to pack a few more hot packs with him knowing you might forget and get yourself sick from the cold.

“I'm sad now that it’s the last day,” you mumbled lowly as you finally made it to the Eiffel Tower, now just admiring how the tower sparkled that night. the stars seemed to shine brighter and it only brought more anxiousness to junmyeon.

he could feel his hand start to sweat as you got closer to the tower in hopes you didn't realise how clammy his hands felt. though the weather was cold, the sight of you was enough to make his face feel hot and he could feel the sweat slowly trickling down his neck. 

turning to look at you, in fact you did look devastated at the thoughts of leaving this beautiful place but you still had a glimpse of smile plastered on your face and it made junmyeon felt wobbly, his legs about to give up on him.

“it is, but there’s something I have to do before we leave here,” he said, finally the courage he had before slowly seep through his veins.

confused you turned to him and you could see the softness of his eyes. 

“what are you talking about myeon?” you said, totally unaware of the situation. which was a good thing about this whole thing since you were gullible yourself and he hoped you didn't instantly got caught on with what he was about to or it was going to ruin the whole plan.

taking your small hands in his large ones, he began to speak.

“y/n, you’re one of the greatest that had happen to me, though our encounter was rather embarrassing, I could never forget that day where I first laid my eyes on you. the day I fell in love with you. till today, my love for you isn’t only the same but it has grew bigger every single day. I seriously don’t know what I'll do if I didn’t have you by my side. the way you helped me get through law school even though you had your own course to deal with. you were there for every breakdown I had, every milestone I hit, and I'm glad I was there for you too. my love for you will never stop and it will remain that way till the day I die.” 

tears started to prick in your eyes. you knew exactly where this was going.

“so y/n, y/l/n,” he started before pulling out a small velvet ring box out of his pocket and getting on one knee. opening the box to reveal a beautiful diamond ring.

this is it

“will you marry me?” 

those were the words you’ve been waiting for since the day you’ve met.

a tear slipped down your cheeks and so did junmyeon’s. without hesitation you nodded before shakily replying,

“yes junmyeon, fuck yes of course,” 

relief washed over junmyeon as he was smiling from ear to ear. slipping the ring on your finger, he stood up and kissed you for the first time as your fiancé.

the people around you were clapping and cheering at the sweet moment.

you pulled away and he cupped his hands on your cheeks, wiping the tears from eyes.

“I'm so glad you proposed here, very cliche, I like it,” you said.

“of course you do, I know how it works in the kdramas you watch,” he replied smirking.

“hey junmyeon?” 

“yeah,” he replied, looking at you in the eye as if you were one of the shinning start at the sky that night.

“I love you.” with that you pulled him into a loving kiss again.

and you were glad that you could do it now every day of your life,

together.

[technicolordeams]

So some things happened this past week since I wrote my last entry and I'm rethinking my stance on leaving or not. I was able to talk to the one girl who is befriending me and my pastor had a long talk about what makes me me and what I struggle with. I followed what my therapist told me to be which was to be more assertive. I felt very awkward and scared to do it but if I didn't, I'd end up right back where I was feeling anger and abandonment. So for now, I'm still on hold on what to choose to do.

But a couple other things popped up. Not too big but unsettling. My mind just blanked on one of them so I'll just type about the one that's stuck out the most to me right now since it happened literally within the past hour.

So obviously I have problems eating enough to keep my weight stable, let alone gain any without a LOT of work. I've been struggling with it since my gallbladder decided to take a shit on me and demand to be removed which happened on my birthday. During that time I started getting suicidal again and I hadn't dealt with those intense emotions regarding it in several years. But since December it decided to rear it's ugly head and bite into me as hard as it could ever since. It's been 8 months now with very little improvement. And during that time span my health has tanked. I developed breathing problems after my surgery which was horrific enough as it was (imagine not being fully awake but aware that you are out of control of your body and unable to utilize your coping techniques. Just like having a massive panic attack like seizure feeling but you are barely able to be aware of anything besides the viceral fear and blackness because I couldn't wake up. Just... Out of control. And you have no idea how long you were in that state before the nurse could sort of pull you out of it and even communicate more than like two words and slowly peek my eyes open a fraction. Yeah, that's what happened. I had major fear over that for at least a month. Sleeping was hard enough from the surgery and adding in that... Yeah no.) Anyways, since that started up and obviously after surgery it's hard to eat and stuff like that normally. But after the surgery I was (am) having breathing problems. I would have endless coughing fits that would even hit me and make me unable to take a full breath without coughing horribly whatever air I could get right back out. It also made me almost throw up several times (which is my biggest phobia that triggered my eating disorder to go out of control and send me into hospital stays and feeding tube hell). So at least I lost 10lbs since the surgery or even before that. I creep closer to 15lbs though most likely. I haven't been keeping track of it very much because of how much distress I've been dealing with. And I've been dealing with A LOT. Things I wonder if I will be able to get up from without more intense medical help that I probably can't get because of covid.

I've gone through several tests to see why I'm having coughing fits and every answer is that they don't see anything wrong. Well, the ENT appointment I went to the day before I went to see the pulmonary doctor really screwed me over tbh. The ENT doctor gave me steroids that day that I took that same night and told me that the pulls wouldn't affect the asthma test they were going to perform next day. It did. So I had to wait like two months before I could go back and be re-tested. But then covid hit and those practices have been closed ever since. So I can't get an accurate reading on what's going on. They did spot that I had some breathing abnormalities but because of the steroids, they couldn't say for sure. Mind you I had to literally book these doctor appointments and tell my dad you have to take me to these because he didn't think it was that important. Which has pretty much been like everything doctor related that has come up this past year. Just had to put my foot down and tell him I NEED to go to these and I'll be going whether you agree with me or not. Which adds to the distressed feeling and like I'm overreacting and being too paranoid or some shit. Also because I couldn't get actually tested for asthma properly, my regular doctor had to prescribe me with an inhaler but insurance won't help because I have not been diagnosed with it. So I had to cough up (almost literally) over a $100 for medicine that we don't know is right for me or not or whatever.. so that's like $60 every two months? Idk. Which is a lot considering I have a bunch of other bills to pay which includes when I got my wisdom teeth removed (ALL FIVEEE because I'm that extra) which cost $3,000. I have to pay my mom back for another at least year? I don't even know anymore at this point.

I've also been dealing with vision blackouts recently where I almost pass out when I get up here and there. My blood pressure tanked and went to like 70/52 and pulse all over the place. That's better now at least. Chronic fatigue, dehydration, can't sleep very well... Etc. Vitamin D and B12 are on the lower side of the normal range and my body isn't producing enough carbon dioxide.

Now along with all of this bag of shit, I have lost every friend I thought I had and the feeling that I can call anyone friend anymore. I am terrified of calling anyone a friend now because I am afraid that if I let someone in, I will be taken advantage of and lied to like I have in almost every type of relationship I've had since I was little. I am afraid of speaking because I am afraid what I say will offend or upset or whatever someone when all I do is mean well (usually unless you're an asshat). It has made me regress back to my childhood where I couldn't trust anyone and I had nobody except for a penpal on the east coast to keep me company through msn messenger, emails, or rarely phone calls. She was the only one I could call my best friend for a long time and the only one I could open up to about things and the only one who tried to consistently cheer me up when I was hospitalized at 16 by spamming me with emails. I will forever love her and no matter how far we've drifted apart over the years, I will still love her and respond to her as quickly as possible if she ever needed me again. But if we never talk again I'm okay with it. We were there for each other during really bad times in out lives and I like to think we kept each other somewhat sane. She has done more for me than I could ever ask anyone and I'll always be grateful to have "met" her.

But since all of the shit happened with my ex friends... I don't feel safe to get very close to anyone or open up to anyone. Even the girl who defended me and stuff when I was being bullied and manipulated hardly speaks to me now. I wouldn't want to talk to me very much either if all I had to talk about were extremely negative and talk about dying. I can hardly go to my parents about things. I am home alone with just my puppy that likes to get into mischief about 80% of the day. Hardly interact with people online. Usually I just now watch YouTube videos about what's going on with people. I find very little satisfaction playing video games or anything honestly. I have lost art, something that I loved dearly and way too much. I cannot go out most often due to my health. I am stuck at home. I can hardly go outside too. It's too hot (sometimes heat can trigger flashbacks), I found out I'm allergic to grass, and last week I broke out in hives from God knows what so I can't go outside even more. I was put on steroids again for 6 days which causes your immune system to weaken so it won't produce histamines that causes the INSANE itch because every topical and oral medicine OTC would barely help at all. All I do each day is very basic hygiene, sleep when I can, eat as much as I can, and try and relax while taking care of my puppy.

Only two good things has come from all of this: one, I can finally work with a trauma therapist. Hopefully she can help me. Two... Ah I forgot what the second one was actually. Maybe being able to talk to my psychiatrist more frequently? Not sure. I'm very tired right now again lol.

All I know is that I feel very much alone and there's nothing I can do about it. The world outside is extremely dangerous and I am trapped inside my mind too frequently. And there is no extra help I can get.

So all of this led up to my main grievance for today- so far at least lol long ass story to tell just to explain what I'm upset about. My mom earlier asked me if she could give me advice. I told her it depends on what it's about. But she said it anyways. Told me to check my weight each week. She knows I'm not in the most stable state of mind and she knows that me checking my weight constantly can cause a panic attack of it goes down. (thankfully it hasn't really in a month. Only reason why I know is because I had to go to my doctor's twice the past month) I told my dad what she said and he just told me to say okay and leave it at that.

I know I don't want to go back to the state I was in in 2017. I don't want to go through that hell again. Even if I did want to, there'd be way more restrictions with the threat of covid ravaging our place and infecting everyone there. When I pass the eating disorder clinic that I was forced in when I was 16, there is literally nobody there. Maybe a couple cars but they obviously are not treating kids right now. I may be wrong but it would be very dangerous. I know over at the ERC I went to in 2017 is extremely limiting any visitors from coming. The apartments when you graduate to living in temporarily while you go to just a day program only allow maybe two people to stay there at a time and instead of walking to the van pickup spot, they pick you up at your apartment. Psychiatric wards here, or at least one of them that my therapist and I talked about going to, is still slightly operational, but it's over Zoom. So you literally can't get very good support. If you fall off the deep end while at a meeting nothing can be done to help you right there and then if you run away from the meeting.

My psychiatrist told me that if I do feel that I'm in grave danger (I think the trauma therapist I met also said the same) was to go to the ER. But I am afraid to go to the ER and then be turned away quickly and also take a chance that I might catch Covid while there, not to mention the price... And since my parents are essential workers, any one of us could come down with it at any time or be a carrier without knowing. So I'm isolated from people in real life and I don't feel safe talking to anyone online as well. Even if I had someone who wanted to talk to me to begin with that isn't some creepy horny guy wanting pixel sex... I can't think of anyone who I could potentially talk to about anything in my life... I'm just so lost and afraid of both the virtual and real world... Who can I turn to besides my therapist, psychiatrist, or maybe parents depending on what is bothering me, and of course God? I'm told I need a support system. But I can only talk to the doctors so much and my parents aren't very good at being compassionate... I have no one.

I also think about how badly I want to be hospitalized for a little while just so I can get fluids and rest and proper care but that most likely will only happen unless suicide was a big risk.

I am utterly alone...

If anyone reads this long post to the end, you're a crazy human being. xD Going to stop rambling now and put the dishes away and put the pup away for his nap and try and get one in myself.

[wildflowerwattpad0217]

Clary Fray Gets Married. (My First Story On Wattpad) My Reaction After 3 Years.

So This story is going to be deleted from Wattpad on 12/18/2020. Due to how messy the story is. But I don’t reccomend reading it. So if you want to read the mess before then here is the link:

Clary Fray Gets Married

Masterlist

One paragraph is a single chapter

So Maia just got killed and Sebastian is back. That's a cheesy line. How would they be able to invite you to the wedding if they thought you were dead. Not that they would anyway. Clary is sacrificing herself for everyone. All these misspellings though, well it was my first story on here and I never edited it and I wrote it on my phone. That was short af. Well my original word count was 500 but later in the story I am pretty sure I switched it to my current 2000.

The incest plotline though, *throws up* I was trying to continue the idea of Sebastian thinking that the bloodline had to be pure. And Clary's pregnant. Jace's pov, the language was the worst in this story. Clary pov. Sebastian wants to make another demon child. Trama. Sebastian is a vampire but a new breed. Mark of Cain?

So we are starting this chapter with Trama warnings. Jace is blood thirsty and I don't blame him. This is the cringest this I've ever written and that's saying a lot. Clary made a run to hurt him. It can't be that easy.

Sebastian told Jace that was pregnant. Jace just cut of his head and he's still alive? These 500 word chapter get annoying fast.

Threatening Alec for Magnus to put up wards. That's one way to do it ig. You want the Infernal Cup too? Now he only wants Jace and Clary there.

Not much happened in this chapter but Sebastian raided Clary's closet from the Insitute.

A protective Jocelyn tho. This language is not how I would write this today.

It's like every other word is F*ck. This is so cringey. This is supposed to be first person pov not whatever you wanna call that. So much flopping back and forth between povs and I didn't make the pov change very noticeable either.

Really you're taking his head off again? Well it gave you time to get away ig.

This conversation feels forced. It doesn't flow right.

Clary is insisting on getting married before Sebastian can screw it up any more.

Magnus calling Simon by his actual name??? How did Jace just pop up like that?

What the hell was going on it that small pov with Sebastian and Lilith? "...revealing his father in a new form." Valentine? Wtf? Yeah it is Valentine and he hates what his son did.

Jace and Clary are finally getting married.

Valentine it pissed at Sebastian. Clary thinks it's halirious that he's a downworlder now. Karma is a bitch. Clary really just stabbed him in throat after he offered to help you kill your brother and Lilith?

Now why is Sebastian so worked up over a missing necklace? And Jocelyn just found out about Valentine and she shookth.

Jace has a half sister? And Luke has a niece? I don't remember this plotline but this story was all over the place.

Who is Lilith gonna bring back now? Carmen Herondale, Jace's sister.

Sebastian and Carmen reunited.

Sebastian never wanted this for Carmen? She's made at him but not for the reason you think. He was going to propose to her the night she was killed? Valentine is the reason she's dead? Clary just killed him.

Carmen is a murderer? And she got away.

I didn't even realize Simon didn't go.

Carmen you touch Alex or Max I will kill you.

He gave her the wrong spell thankfully.

Tessa is dead? The author's note was not it.

Even in a shitty fanfic Max is adorable.

Carmen's adoptive mundane father was a gang leader in Paris? What kind of crack was I smoking while writing this?

Simon compared her to Assassin's Creed. Why did Clary just pass out?

So the kid is basically going to be a full blown angel. Interesting. And the last thing she remembers is taking the pregnancy test?

That is some Twilight shit right there.

Aww Alec wants to propose to Magnus.

Her pregnancy is getting intense.

That line is so cringey wtf. Sebastian is back?

So I kinda remember the person who originally raised Lilith but tbh I regret writing Carmen's charcther because the next few chapter don't make any sense.

Clary's eyes changed colors. I really don't remember writing half of this because I was going through some stuff at the time.

The unnecessary pov switch tho. Clary just made a new Rune.

Magnus may have found a way to make Shadowhunters immortal?

Why would you try a rune on a trash can?

So everyone one agreed to going immortal. That would suck. And there was a rune made with the oil based paint Clary used. This is confusing af. I am sorry to anyone who has ever read this.

Max calls Clary, Aunt Clary. Wtf does he have to be so cute?

More Max being adorable.

Alec and Magnus are engaged. This makes me happy. Sebastian projected himself into the Insitute?

New Character is introduced: Emily Starkweather. Hodge's daughter and Lydia Blackwell's half sister and she hates her.

I made Lydia Blackwell very homophobic because I made Emily bi sexual and that's why they hate each other. Emily is traitor. Sebastian loves her? And is cheating on Carmen with her. This is very confusing. Emily is gonna teach Izzy how to cook.

Raphael got her addicted to Yin Fen. I really mixed The show and the book together. This bitch is lying her ass off to them.

Sebastian and Emily are planning to get rid of Carmen.

She's planning on killing so many people and pinning it on them.

Emily has some Trama TM

She is going to kill her mother.

Lowkey think Jace is getting sus of her. Carmen is dead.

They just found out she's a traitor.

Joyce, Luke, Myrse and Robert are all dead wtf and the baby is coming.

Emily has a good reason to trust Sebastian tho. He did save her life.

Lilith thought she was dead? Who do u think rose you from Edom?

They don't know Carmen id dead yet? Alec ripped into Lydia. Compared her to Valentine. Big ope. Emily is the 3rd Angel experiment.

Emily and Sebastian  are planning on kidnapping Lydia. Emily's angel blood is Lucifer's wtf? Emily called her sister a Stupid Ass Bitch and I'm living for it. And she's been kidnapped.

Sebastian just turned her? Ew. The left-handed joke. They summoned Lucifer for some reason.

Emily is absolutely crazy.

So she did kill her mother... I didn't make that very clear. Jace and Alec want them to make Amends so that she doesn't murder Shadowhunters. Sweetie I think it's far too late for that. Lydia is officially dead. How could she be preggers if she's a vampire? And now her mother is still alive? Jocelyn, Luke, Maryse and Robert are alive still too? Emily's mom admitted to everything. I also started going to 2000 word chapters.

Lilith is acting like a bitch, kinda. They are attacking the clave. Lilith summoned a shit ton of demons. The end of the chapter is kinda intense tho.

Raphael? Wtf are you doing here? Hodge?  They are testing by mortal sword. This is kinda confusing. Why was this the most read story on my wattpad before Avenging Riverdale?

Flashback scene to when they first met.

Then there was a short chapter. About a prochey

Time skip. The baby is coming. A blue and a black eye? Sebastian's eyes flickered green? Magnus wants to figure how to bring out the Johnathan in him.

Emily plans on making Sebastian stays Sebastian.

That was a shitty chapter.

And I forgot I discountinted it... Sorry about that.

Overall I am happy I discountinted you. It is a horrible book and I am embarrassed by it to be honest. This is my first book on wattpad so I think it's pretty normal but it wasn't my first piece of fanfic. My first work was on Fanfic.net but has since been deleted by the website. I don't know why it wasn't bad at all it was more fluff than anything. But I have decided that I am going to post this and then I'm going to take down the story in a month. I failed to put trigger warnings, failed to edit (to be fair that was back when I did all of my writing on my phone before I had am actual laptop). But I did have some good ideas when it came to the traitor part and Sebastian finding love and I deem this story on crack. So my final rating is a 2/10.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #277

“i think we could reach heaven if we go through hell”

What are you currently listening to? "Heaven" by Solence. Has your father met the boy you currently love? I don’t love a guy, just his memory. I don’t think it’s accurate to say “yeah I love him” when I haven’t spoken to/associated with him since one talk in 2017. Are you closer with your siblings or cousins? My sisters. I barely ever see/talk to my cousins at all. How many people have you really fallen for? Two. Next event you’ll wear a dress to: Probably not ‘til my sister’s wedding next year. Why did you last cry? Oh god it’s so cheesy but it was during the Unus Annus video where Mark, Ethan, and Amy were out in the desert watching Neowise and just talking about life and shit. I legit sat in silence just thinking for a while after I finished it. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? Shit, not even 10 minutes. Sometimes not even five. I don’t do anything special at all, just get dressed, brush teeth, and comb my hair. Would you ever take back someone after they cheated? Nnnnope. How many arguments have you had with the last person you dated? Well considering we jumped back and forth from hating each other to being friends like five times as kids,,,, lmao. But on a serious note, it’s rare now. I don’t exactly count arguments tho. Do you want to see somebody right now? I wanna hang with Sara so bad mayn. Do you get distracted easily? YEAH. Do you think that someone has feelings for you? Yeah. Do you still talk to the person that you last kissed? On the daily. Are you easy to get along with? I think so. I’m chill with such a variety of people that you know you can be free of judgment. The only thing you’d have to understand is how quiet I am and that it does not equate to me being disinterested in you or anything, as people have apparently thought. Have you ever had a pet goldfish? As a kid. Has anyone ever told you that you have pretty eyes? Yeah. Are you short? I’m of an average height for someone my gender, age, and nationality or whatever it’s called. Is there anything stressing you out currently? bruuuuuhhhhh I am ALWAYS stressed about something. What’s something that you cannot wait for? This fucking pandemic to end. Just wear your goddamn masks and stay in your fucking houses ‘n shit and maybe we’ll move forward. What was your favorite grade? So it’s super ironic: 7th. Which is when my depression manifested. I just have a lot of good memories with excellent teachers and friends. Are you afraid of shots? “Fear” is the wrong word for it, but there’s certainly a tense feeling before you get one. It’s not the needle that really hurts, it’s whatever medicine is being injected. Always stings. Were you an adorable baby? I was tbh, but I had nothing on my little sister. Nicole was so fucking cute. Are you happy with who you’re becoming? No. Do you want children? No. Do you change your phone background a lot? Not “a lot,” no. Would you rather take a relationship really slow or really fast? Definitely really slow. Really fast is nooot my style. I mean, neither is very slow, but I’d definitely prefer it and feel more secure in it. When applying eyeliner, which eye do you do first? Uhhh I think left? I do this so rarely that I don’t really know lol. How many exes have you talked to today? One. Are you tan? lol hell no. I never have been. Do you use any acne medication? I use a facial scrub to exfoliate and prevent acne, does that count? Is anybody in your family schizophrenic? If so, what is their life like? My half-sister I’ve never met. I know almost nothing about her so can’t answer the second question. Are you likely to crack under peer pressure? Not really, no. Are you emotional or very stoic? I’m emotional as hell. How many states have you lived in? North Carolina has kept me hostage my whole life. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Yeah. Who did you last say “I love you” to? Me mum. How do you want to die? Eek, idk man. Part of me says fast as to avoid pain or a gradual, torturous decline in health, but at the same time I want my life to conclude after like… accepting it and not taking my last days for granted. I also don’t want the sudden surprise on my loved ones. Are you scared of spiders? Okay, so this is very situational. If a spider surprises me, I’m most likely going to gasp/scream/curse and try to get away. However, I find them very, very fascinating to watch and are beautiful and some even cute in their own right. I respect their existence and position in the ecosystem. I’ve held a tarantula before and even want two (… or ten) as a pet, so I can’t be THAT scared of them. Oh, and I’m much more likely to be spooked by ones with long legs and particularly small bodies. Idk, it’s weird. Do you have trust issues? fuck YES I do. Who/what was your last dream about? I know Jason was in it, but that’s no surprise. I remember someone randomly trying to kill me again lmao. Who was the last person you cried in front of? I’m sure it was Mom. Who was your last text from? Sara. Do you usually sleep with your closet door open or closed? The fuck is wrong with you if you sleep with it open?????????????? Have you ever "done it" in a hotel room? No. I don’t think we were ever in a hotel together, and besides, it’s p gross imho. I can’t say for sure I wouldn’t lmao but I hope I wouldn’t. Have you ever stolen a street sign before? No, that’s never made sense to me? My sister stole a traffic cone once tho lmao. She legit just wanted to do something sketchy. Highkey badass, amirite. Are you reading any books right now? I’m very slowly reading Wings of Fire: The Dark Secret by Tui T. Sutherland. I’m going through one of my junctures of little reading again, even though I’m enjoying the book as I do with the series. Who was the last person to send you a friend request on Facebook? Some dude I had no mutual friends with or anything. How recently did you wash your hands? Last time I went to the bathroom. Did the last person you kissed have facial hair? No. Who is the most intelligent person you know? Girt. Do you have younger siblings? If you do, are you protective of them? I have one sister younger by two years, and I’d kill for her even if we’re not all that close. What are the other members of your household doing at this moment? I’ve actually been home alone for around two weeks now and am MIRACULOUSLY doing totally fine. My mom had to take an urgent flight to NY because her mom is dying. Sadly much slower than they expected. She’s not in pain due to medicine, but nevertheless, it’s torture for her. She can't do anything. Do you have any neighbors that you don't get along with? Not really, but there is someone to our right that constantly has music playing outside, and sometimes it’s annoying. In the past week, have you slept past midday? No. I can’t remember the last time I did that. Name the last song that made you cry. “Lovely” by Billie Eilish, I think. It reminded me of Jason. Do you use Twitter? Not really, no. I only ever check it to look at Mark’s lmao what a shocker. The last time something scared you, what was it? One of my nightmares last night. A huge spider was hurrying towards my face from the wall and I actually scrambled out of bed irl, therefore nearly passing out bc I can't get up fast w/o getting extremely dizzy, oof. Who was your first best friend? Brianna. Are you still friends anymore? On Facebook, anyway. We haven’t talk-talked in many years. Who is your best friend right now? Sara. How old were you when you found out what sex was? I was in the 4th or 5th grade, whatever age you are then. I definitely learned later than most, it seems. Had no idea until sex ed in school. Name one quirk you have that drives people crazy? I pace badly, and I’ve been told by numerous people it makes them anxious. Who is your favorite Disney villain? Probably Scar. You gotta admit his scheme was pretty clever, and he had a BUMPIN song. Would you have children if a surrogate could carry it for you? No, I still wouldn’t. Do you have an account for any social platform that you rarely/never use? Yeah, like Twitter. What do you most frequently take photos of? Nature. Do you ever wear hats? What does your favorite hat look like? No. Have you tried any foods or drinks for the first time today? Which? No. Does anyone close to you smoke cigarettes? My dad. What was the last song you heard, that made you feel nostalgic? Motionless In White recently covered "Somebody Told Me" by The Killers. Is it awkward when you run into your ex? I don’t run into any of them. Do you prefer pasta, salad, or coleslaw? Oh, totally pasta. Coleslaw is fucking disgusting. Do you think any of your exes will eventually want to be with you again? I hope. Would you rather pierce your tongue or lip? I have a vertical labret and did have snake eyes, and I adore(d) both; however, I prefer my lip ring. It’s like, a part of my identity by now lmao. Last time you were attacked by an animal? I don’t think an animal has ever seriously hurt me, instead only through playing too rough. I get scratches from Roman every now and again from it. How many times have you been engaged (if any at all)? Never. Have you ever been called something and you didn’t know what it meant? So one of the most embarrassing things I’ve ever done is accidentally agree to being a martyr, because at the time, I thought it only meant like, you’d die for what you stand for, which in most serious cases, I would. I didn’t know that wasn’t the kind he meant; he meant I was trying to make shit all about me and throw a pity party about the breakup. I didn’t learn that was the “common day” definition until a long time after when I was no longer in contact with this person. Are your eyes sensitive to sunlight? VERY VERY VERY. Have you ever been busted for underage drinking? No. Do you have a picture of you and your lover kissing? I don’t have a “lover.” Have you witnessed a fight at school? So shortly after returning to class in the 10th grade, a girl deadass got stabbed in the neck during a fight nearby my classroom. I (nor my classmates) actually saw it, just heard. Safe to say the assailant was expelled, and the other girl was lucky to have her throat missed, though that was apparently what the other girl was aiming for. She went to the hospital of course, and that’s all I know. Who did you last get into a big argument with? Probably Mom. Do you drink lots of water? Sigh, no. What was the worst feeling you last felt? Before my last period I had a day of such bad cramping that I decided to go back on birth control. I originally started it for that but stopped to see how it would affect my mood, and now I absolutely need it back. Interested in anyone at the moment? Yeah. Do you know people with your last name that you aren't related to? Besides historical people, no. Are you guilty of texting while driving? ”I don’t drive, but I am so against doing that. Please don’t. It only takes a second of distraction for something to go wrong. Keep your eyes on the damn road.” <<<< This right fuckin here. Have you ever caused a lot of noise in a library? No. What was the last thing that completely took your breath away? I don’t know. When playing rock, paper, scissors which do you usually pick? Uhhh I think scissors? Have you ever tried to write a book? Yes, but they’re all projects I abandoned. Have you ever been hit by a chunk of hail? Not that I recall, no. Do you have high standards? Honestly yes when it comes to relationships (which is what I assume you’re talking about). Have you ever changed your clothes while in a vehicle? Yeah. Do you know how to snap your fingers? Uh, yeah. Do you plan your outfits for the next day or just randomly choose? I choose on the spot, usually. Are you a bossy person? Definitely not. Is it true that if you don’t love yourself, you can’t love another? I fucking hate that statement. It’s absolute bullshit.

[makeste]

I was glad to see you enjoyed my Top 10 ask. You did mention you had a ranking for the arcs - would you do a ranking for them? Like, worst to best? (My guess (of the arcs you've finished): Internship arc, Hero Killer Arc, License Exam, USJ, Intro Arc, Culture Fest, Battle Trial, Pro-Hero arc, Final Exams, Sports Fest, Camino Ward, DvKp2; since you haven't liveblogged Joint Training Arc yet, no clue.) Just curious.

good morning evening everyone, and welcome to another Wednesday episode of “makeste tries to answer asks from two months ago while on the bus.” this one is a bit of an interesting challenge since it involves ranking and that always takes me a long time, but as you said, I did have an ongoing ranking of the arcs in my head, so we’ll see. at the very least the ones at the beginning and end shouldn’t be too hard, and you can probably guess them already. (in fact, you actually did.)

(ETA: yeah this took me two sittings to do, so I ended up posting it on the ride home lol. I just like BnHA you guys. almost as much as I like talking about how much I like it!)

okay so here goes.

14. Basement arc - yeah so let’s just go ahead and get this over with. this is the one and only BnHA arc that I actually dislike. fortunately it’s an outlier and suffered from a bunch of one-time issues, most of which stem from the fact that Horikoshi was apparently trying to write a longer and darker arc than usual. well he succeeded! and thankfully learned his lesson. and at least this arc gave us Eri and Mirio and some good Kirishima flashbacks and Chekov’s Quirk-Be-Gone bullets and the Highway to Hell. hopefully the anime can improve on the rest.

13. Provisional License arc - okay, so it might surprise a few people that this arc is all the way down here. let me explain. this is a perfectly fine arc, and I like it well enough, but it’s a bit longer than it needs to be, and not that much happens in it aside from our introduction to best boy Yoarashi Inasa, and the Great Toga Conspiracy (which is admittedly excellent). there are some great moments (Aoyama doing his best impression of “THE BEACONS ARE LIT” from RotK comes to mind), but overall it’s fairly forgettable, and it suffers from being placed directly in between my two absolute favorite arcs, which means I have a tendency to overlook it, which isn’t really the arc’s fault.

12. Hero Killer arc - this one is interesting because I really lost patience with it during my first read-through, but strangely enough when I watched it in the anime I actually really enjoyed it. it was also much shorter than I remembered. I’ve belatedly realized that reading it while doing commentary really slowed me down, because for the parts that I wasn’t feeling, doing the commentary took a long time and also left me dwelling on a lot of the things I didn’t like. but in actuality, Stain’s Annoying Rants aside, this is a pretty enjoyable arc full of Big Hero 6 flashbacks, hot revenge-driven Iida, Gran Torino’s introduction, Deku learning full cowl, Bakugou’s Best Jeanist internship, and Todoroki saving Deku and Iida’s lives by being glued to his phone when he really should have been paying attention to his own internship. get off that social media already Shouto.

11. USJ arc - this is a great arc, but it just feels small compared to everything that happens afterward. but it’s fun to look back on because there are lots of little hints for future developments to come. the traitor theory, for instance. and this is also our introduction to the League and to Tomura and the Noumu. and that final fight between All Might and the Noumu is still one of my favorite scenes in the whole series, especially in the anime. it’s so fucking good you guys. shit.

10. Intro arc - just FYI, I lump everything from the first chapter up until USJ into one arc since it’s easier. anyways, so this is roughly on the same level as USJ, but gets a slight edge because there are some iconic moments here. namely, the first chapter (which is still one of the best shounen intro chapters I’ve ever read, if not the best); Kacchan VS Deku 1; the entrance exam; and our introduction to the rest of class 1-A, particularly Ochako and Iida. oh, and Aizawa! gotta love how he starts out all ready to expel some bitches only to wind up falling in love with the whole class. fatherhood agrees with him.

9. Band AU arc - I actually love this arc. I just love all of the ones above it on the list a bit more, and I can’t really justify it being any higher than this. but it has The Band and the Babysitting Squad and Mirio being the best big brother in the world and Eri being just ridiculously, astonishingly cute. Gentle and La Brava are also great villains, if not quite my favorites. there are a few questionable plot holes in the arc, and it lacks any sort of big impact on the rest of the series, but it’s basically a canon filler arc and it’s so much fun and I can’t wait to see it animated.

8. Fanfic Lodge arc - you guys this arc started out so fucking cute and ended up so fucking tense. and this was our intro to the League of Villains proper, including Spinner, Twice, Tuxedo Mask, the prodigal Todoroki son, and my best girl Toga. Deku VS Muscular is still hard for me to read (his liiiiiiiimbs) but it’s one of Deku’s best moments regardless. and the angst at the end of the arc is almost unparalleled. god I love it.

7. Final Exam arc - a.k.a. the one where all the kids team up with each other to shoot their teachers in the fucking face. this arc has it all: Momo character development, Bakugou character development, TodoMomo, BakuDeku, and Aizawa being a total badass. (and All Might too, but he’s kind of overkill tbh. which is its own kind of awesome though.) there’s so much good stuff in this arc that this description is a bit vague because if I got any more specific we’d be here all day. it’s just a lot of good stuff that I like.

6. Joint Training arc - dudes I love this arc so much. class B and their array of ridiculously awesome quirks! class A and their impeccable teamwork! Bakugou joining the OFA Scooby Squad and showing off his new WIN AND RESCUE COMBO! Monoma! Shinsou!! SIXQUIRKS!!! god there’s so much great content.

5. Endeavorhawks arc - this arc would be even higher except that it’s a bit short (though it’s perfectly paced, so that might actually be a plus) and it doesn’t feature as many of my faves. but Hawks’s intro + our intro to The Great Noumu Conspiracy + Todoroki Family Drama + some of the best character development I’ve seen in a shounen manga (god I still can’t get over what a ballsy move it is to try and redeem Endeavor) = solid gold. and it’s so well done. and caps off with one of the best plot twists in the series to date, which sets up what promises to be one hell of an interesting arc later down the line. just. it’s so good. possibly the best-written arc to date, even if it doesn’t quite top my list.

4. My Villain Academia arc - and this isn’t even done yet!! and it’s still already this high!! Tomura flashbacks! Toga flashbacks! TOUYA FLASHBACKS???! (we’ll see??) creepy cults! my new favorite character One-Handed Giran, the biggest badass in the whole fucking series! worldbuilding for days! Dr. Robotnik! more Noumu shit! etc. etc. this arc has been non-stop goodness and I almost feel spoiled at this point.

3. Sports Festival arc - the most fun of all the arcs. I have rewatched the cavalry battle in the anime like a bazillion times. there used to be this show on Nickelodeon called Wild & Crazy Kids where kids teamed up for all these zany competitions (water balloons were usually involved), and I fucking loved that show, and parts of this arc kinda have that same kind of spirit. it’s just fun. and then to top it all off we have our Shouto character development, as well as Bakugou’s little character arc that he also has which is excellent. not to mention what is probably Ochako’s most badass moment to date. love it.

2. Kamino arc - guyyyys where do I even start? this arc is perfection. good VS evil. All Might taking a stand even when he’s got nothing left in the tank, because the world needs him and he won’t let them down. the sheer visceral terror of AFO’s introduction. my favorite character getting fucking kidnapped and being brave AF and his friends rallying to save him yesssss. and the reveal of All Might’s secret, which is arguably the most powerful scene in the series. I get chills every time. “my heart is still the heart of the symbol of peace.” if All Might had announced at that moment that he was starting a new religion I would have been like “yeah okay.” I would follow him to the ends of the earth. how can one man be that selfless and brave. anyways this arc is absolutely incredible and objectively one of the best in all of shounen.

1. Deku VS Kacchan Part 2 - nothing to see here, just two boys who’ve known each other since they were in diapers, who’ve done everything together and have always been together but have never actually understood each other until now. just the two of them finally opening up to each other, because the one who always tried to act so tough actually isn’t that tough, in truth, and in spite of everything, he trusts the other enough to let his guard down around him this one time. just two rivals, sorting out their shit and figuring out what it all really means. and their dad, helping to facilitate the whole thing because he knows that one day, somewhere down the road, this bond between them will mean absolutely everything. is this really even an arc?? it’s only like six chapters, and only one event actually takes place. but do I care?? yeah, no. Deku and Kacchan’s relationship is the series to me, so yeah. to me it counts as an arc. and not just any arc, but the best arc.

so there you have it! I hope I haven’t accidentally left something out lol. but this should hopefully be a pretty definitive list, at least for now. looking back at all of this really makes it sink in just how good of a story this is, though. damn.

[shinwonsaysomething]

What Your Heart Tells You - Lee Hwitaek and Yang Hongseok (University!AU)

Request by Anon:  Hello my love, you know who this is🤣 Are you in the mood to write something Hui x Reader x Hongseok?? It can be in any form tbh, friends, lovers, classmates, i dont mind lol i just need my dose of Hui and Hongseok tbh🤣❤️ -E🍂

Summary: You work on a project with fuckboy!Hongseok where you had a crush on when you were younger. Your bestfriend!Hwitaek doesn’t like him at all. He doesn’t know you are in secretly in love with him. In fact you don’t even know it. 

In this story you will make your own choice when it comes to genre and ending. If you choose Hongseok’s ending it will be Fluff. If you choose Hwitaek’s ending it will be angst and fluff 

(Disclaimer: The idea of multiple endings has been done before, I forgot the fanfiction I read that did something like it too, but it was good haha)

"Y/N? Where the hell are you?" you hear Hwitaek scream through the phone. "I am so sorry. Please distract the professor for one more day. I will be on time tomorrow. I promise!" you say before hanging up. You run towards the school entrance. When you finally made your way up the stairs you sneak into the classroom. You see that your best friend Hwitaek is still busy talking with your professor, probably about some bullshit question he already knows the answer to. You sign to Hwitaek that you are here. He sees you, thanks the professor and walks back to his seat next to you.

"Why are you late this time?" Hwitaek whispers to you as the lecture starts. "I overslept today, because I was working on a project with Hongseok last night" you answer. "That is a new one" he says and chuckles. "Wait, isn't that Hongseok guy the one from Class 2B? The one you had a crush on in elementary school?". "Jup, that is the Hongseok I was talking about. But I promise you I will be on time tomorrow". "Good, I can't save your ass everyday".

After the lecture you and Hwitaek decide to get some lunch at your favorite café. It is a café you guys went to ever since you had your own money to pay for drinks. Today it was your day to treat Hwitaek, also because you had to make up to him. "So.. How is this Hongseok guy?" Hwitaek says and stirs in his coffee. He doesn't look at you, which strikes you at odd behavior for Hwitaek. You have been friends for so long. Hwitaek always looks at you when asking questions, unless he is uncomfortable or insecure. You still answer the question. "I don't know man. I am kinda confused actually. All the girls from 2C and 2B told me Hongseok was bad news and stuff. But I don't know what they mean. He is really sweet and kind while working on the project. He didn't make a move whats however, so I don't know why they call him the project player".

"I heard from Carly from 2D that that is also one of his tactics" Hwitaek says and takes a bite from his sandwich. "What is?" you say confused. "He pretends to be the nice guy and doesn't make a move in the first 2 weeks of the project, so you think you are different and than he will try to get in your pants the very next day" Hwitaek says with his mouth full. "Do you really think I would sleep with him after 2 weeks of knowing him?". "Hey you know I trust you on that, but I don't trust Hongseok at all. I don't like him to break your heart or anything". "That is sweet Hwitaek, but I promise you I am not going to fall for his tricks".  Hwitaek smiles at you and puts his hand on yours. "I know, but if he does anything you don't like just tell him you have a boyfriend and you will be fine". "And who is that suppose to be?" you say laughing. You take a sip of your tea. "I am" Hwitaek says dramatically and as extra as he can be. You laugh even though his comment made your heart jump. To him it could just be a joke, but to you it is different. Recently, you have been feeling a bit more strange around him. His smile makes you blush more often and his compliments mean more to you than they did before. You try to ignore it and just enjoy your lunch with him.

"Did you bring your books?" Hongseok says and takes your coat. Tonight you are working on the project at Hongseok's home. You were feeling more nervous than the past days. In a way you don't want the rumours about Hongseok to be true. You liked him all the way through elementary school. Back then you could only dream of the fact that you would work on a project with Hongseok together. Your feelings are a lot less strong since you know he changed a lot when he entered university. But still there is so much to Hongseok that is appealing to you.

"Yes I got them in my bag. Shall we start on the project?" you say as professional as possible. Hongseok laughs at you. "What's up? You seem so tense?" he says as he leads you the way to the living room. "I- I just feel nervous because I never have been to a project partners house before" you lie. "It is kinda the same as going to a friend though, just a bit more boring because of all the studying" He says. You laugh. "Yeah you are right".

You work on the project and again Hongseok isn't making any move. It makes you think about what Hwitaek said at lunch. For some reason that makes you feel more nervous. Is it because he is not attracted to you or is it one of is tactics or are all the rumors just not true. "Okay, let's take a break. I can see something is up. What is it?" This eyes are on yours now and it makes you blush. Before you know you say "I just can't read you". Hongseok smiles, but looks confused. "What do you mean?". "Well, you know with all the rumors around you and stuff. I know you tend to sleep around and I have a constant feeling that you aren't trying anything on me because you don't find me attractive" you say and look down, instantly regretting everything you just said. Hongseok is quite for awhile. "The rumors are true" he says after awhile. You look disappointed and still don't look at him. He lifts up your chin. "But I didn't make a move on you, not because I don't find you attractive, but because I like you..." he says calmly. "I liked you for awhile and I knew from some girls that you liked me too. I am scared you would think bad about me like all the others. It kinda hurts knowing you already did" he looks down at his book. "No, o my god, that is not what I meant... I-I". Hongseok chuckles softly and scratches the back of his head. "It is okay, I deserved it. I just hope I can change your way of thinking of me".

Now is the  time to choose one of the two members.  Scroll down to the member you have chosen to continue the story. Both endings will be completely different (even when it comes to genre).

You chose HONGSEOK

"It is okay, I deserved it. I just hope I can change your way of thinking of me" Hongseok says. "I mean, I really like you... I want to take you out on a date. Not to get you into bed, but because I think you are awesome and sweet". You blush because of his words.  "But I understand that you can't trust me after all the stuff I have done".

You turn to him. "Listen, I like you too, but you are right I have to learn to trust you first. So hear me out" you start. Hongseok looks up surprised by your answer. "Let's finish the project first. That means we have to work a whole month without making moves. Since we work together we will have enough time to get to know each other. If we still like each other after a month than I will gladly go out with you". Hongseok smiles and says "Is that all?". You laugh and continue "Nope. If you want me to trust you, you need to stop sleeping around and don't try your moves on other girls". Hongseok agrees. "I am serious about this, I am not joking around or trying anything. I am thankful you are giving me a chance". "We will see where this goes" you say and smile at him.

You never thought Hongseok would really take it serious. New rumors were going through the second year classes. Most were focused on Hongseok's drastic change of behavior. Some were about Hongseok having a girlfriend. Some were even about you. People noticed you were spending more time together. You got to know a whole new side of Hongseok as well. You really get to know someone when you hear them laugh so uncontrollably that their "real laugh" comes out. That unashamed laughed. You spend nights working on the project, but also on getting to know one another.

Hongseok is really sweet and kind. He also kept his promise of not sleeping round and trying anything on other girls. The only thing that was hard on him was not trying anything on you, because he got to like you more and more. It was also difficult for you. You told Hwitaek all about the deal with Hongseok. He said that you really have to commit to your own rules, because otherwise he might take advantage of you. If you kissed him before the project was over, it would be more easy for him to go back to sleeping around, because he always gets what he wants.

This was the most difficult. You fell in love with Hongseok. The feelings from elementary school came back, but stronger. Luckily it was almost the end of the project. Hwitaek still doesn't trust Hongseok completely, but he trusts you on your decisions and will support it if you guys end up together.

Monday arrives. It has been 4 days since the deadline of the project. You and Hongseok meet up at your house. The professor told you your grade will be up online today. You two want to check it out together. You sit behind your laptop on the couch, constantly refreshing the page. "He said it will be up right now... where is it then...?" you say frustrated. Hongseok sits close to you and rests his head on your shoulder to watch the screen as well. "It might take awhile, your wifi was bad last week too, remember?". It is quiet for a while. Hongseok breaks the silent. "I- I. uhm I was wondering i-".

"There it is!" you interrupt him.  "O my god ! I didn't think would get such a high grade!?" you say surprise. You and Hongseok jump off the couch and hug. he picks you up and swings you around. "Yes! We did it!". He puts you down, but he doesn't let go. "I- I wanted to say". Again you interrupt Hongseok, but this time with a kiss. Hongseok was so shocked that he didn't kiss you back. You pull away and look at him. "I trust you. Can you trust me too?" you say and look at him. "Finally, yes! I trust you" he says. You kiss him again and he kisses back. "Do you want to go out with me, Y/N?". "Yes, let's go".

You chose HWITAEK

"It is okay, I deserved it. I just hope I can change your way of thinking of me" Hongseok says and moves closer. You turn to him. "Listen, I liked you a lot, but this doesn't feel right". "I can make you feel right though". Before you can say anything else he kisses you. You don't kiss back because you are so shocked. You pull him away. Hongseok looks annoyed. "What is it?". "I just told ou! Why did you kiss me?". "Seriously why do you gotta be so difficult?".

"Hongseok, all you want is to get into girl's pants. And I don't want to be one of them". Hongseok doesn't listen and tries to kiss you again. "Hongseok! I have a boyfriend stop!". Hongseok laughs hard at you as if you just told a joke. "You? Yeah sure, love. That friend of yours probably told you to say that didn't he". Offended and angry you stand up. "All guys are like this even that stupid friend of yours". "He is nothing like you!" you say angrily. "You will see, he will tell you he likes you too". You don't want to hear any more. "I am going. Good luck with the project" you hiss at him. You storm off. At the ride home all you can do is cry. You feel foolish and dumb that you believed his words. "but I like you" his words are still in your head. You wanted to hear those words so badly, but knowing it was all an act makes your heart ache.

At some point, you can't even see where you are going because of your tears. You have to sit and calm yourself down. You want to call up Hwitaek. He is the only one that can calm you down right now. Yet you still don't call him. You feel to ashamed and afraid. Your feelings are all over the place. "He will tell you he likes you too". No Hwitaek doesn't like me that way. This night with Hongseok made your feelings for Hwitaek more clear. Once he kissed you didn't feel good. You walk the rest of the way home. You turn off your phone and go to sleep.

10 pm. You are 2 hours late for the lecture. You promised Hwitaek to be on time today. You stay in bed and turn on your phone. 5 missed calls and more than 40 messages for Hwitaek. All say you need to call him back. You ignore it, because you are really afraid to tell Hwitaek what happened and because of the feelings you have towards him.

A loud bang on your front door wakes you up. You quickly fix your sleepy face and run down stairs to answer the door. "Hello who is th-" you say as you open the door. It is Hwitaek out of breath. "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU MADE ME GO THROUGH" he yells at you. He hugs you tight and you feel him shake. "I thought something terrible had happened". Your tears come up again and you let them all go. "I am so sorry..." you say sobbing. "What happened, please tell me".

You tell him about last night and what happened. "That dick... He totally deserved the slap in the face I gave him today" Hwitaek hisses to himself "You hit him?" you ask. "Yeah, he was spreading rumors that you were all over him last night. I know you and you won't do that so I figured he was spreading lies". "Thank you" you say. Hwitaek sits next to you on the couch and puts his hand on yours. You pull your hand away. "I am so sorry". "Did something else happen you didn't tell me?". He always knows this stuff, so annoying. "He told me even you were going to say you like me to get into my pants. I know he is lying, but still I don't know what trust anymore". Hwitaek grabs your hand and turns your face to his.

"Listen Y/N, You mean the world to me. Probably more than you think. I would never say I like you to sleep with you. I don't even had the courage to tell you I like you two years ago". You heart drops. "Hwitaek, if you are pranking me right now. I will kick you in the balls. Don't do this after what happened". Hwitaek laughs. "I am sorry about my timing, but it is true. I like you. I just want you to know that there are guys that really respect you for the way you are. I wish I told you sooner. I was just so afraid you still liked Hongseok and I didn't want to ruin our friendship".

You look him in the eyes. You can see whenever Hwitaek is lying, because he is so easy to read. "You are for real" you say. "Yes, I am" Hwitaek says seriously. You see he is nervous, but that he still looks at you. "I like  you too" you say.  "I was afraid too". Hwitaek puts his hand to your cheek and moves closer, but stops. "Is it okay if I kiss you. I don't want you feel bad after everything that happened". You nod. "It is okay". Hwitaek plans a soft kiss on your lips. Different from Hongseok's kiss, this makes you feel good. Very good. Like everything Hongseok says melts away and you finally found someone that truly loves you. "I don't want to move fast. Is it okay if we take this slow and see where this goes. I promise you I will protect you from any mean words people will say and I will personally kick Hongseok if he says anything else about you". "I would love all of that. Thank you, Hwitaek. You really are the only person that can calm me down". He smiles at you before kissing you again. "Come on, I will treat on lunch this time".

I hope you liked it! Let me know what you think! 🌱🌸

[robinmagik]

Not A Minute Wasted (part 2)

A/N: HA-HA! I’m back with this story! I’m like in a love hate relationship with this story tbh. Anyway, thank you guys for waiting!!! There is going to be a third part of Not A Minute Wasted, so I hope you guys enjoy this one. I’ll post the other part later at nite or soon. Dunno but it WILL be posted today. If you want to be tagged just comment in the thingy, yknow :) 

Part One  Part Three  Final

Tags: @poemfreak306 

Recap: Y/n looks down the darkness and takes one step in and the clock closes. She cusses. Great, Bruce Wayne is like a low-key dungeon freak or worse he murders people and this is his murder dungeon. The worst thoughts were running through her mind. She got down the long stair case and to her surprise she sees a whole lotta shit; Robin costumes, old Batman costumes, bat-mobiles, and weapons. Then she sees the bat-computer. Okay so, Bruce is a huge Batman fan or Batman lives in Bruce’s basement, what? “Alfred, are you there?” It was Bruce’s voice but more deeper and rougher. 

“What the fu—’’

“Oh dear,” Alfred gasps. 

Y/n turns around, looking at him with wide eyes and a gaped mouth. 

“Alfred.” Batman repeats. 

“Miss Y/n, there is a perfectly good explication for this.”

“I don’t think so,” She says. “OooooooooooohhhhhmyGod! Ohhohohohoho God!”

“If you give me a moment, I will try my best to answer your questions.” He rushes to the bat computer. There was no way out of this. It was practically too late to drug her and make her believe it was a dream. He responds. “Yes, Master Bruce?”

“Prepare some chamomile tea and sandwiches.”

“I take it patrol went well?”

“Yes, it did.” He says. “Y/n is still sleeping?”

“Oh no, she is very much wide awake.” Alfred emphasizes. He glances at her to see that Y/n is still with the face of shock. “I must apologize, Master Bruce but she knows.”

“Knows what, Pennyworth? You have to be less vague.” Damian says. 

“What’s Damian doing there?!” Y/n finally spoke—more like shouted. 

Silence. 

“Hello?!” Y/n slams her fist on the button. “No me vas a respondar o que?!”

“Alfr—“

“Oh, no, papi! He’s soooo not gonna save you now!” She laughs a little bit too manically. She is practically loosing her mind. How wouldn’t?! 

Batman grunts, he clears his throat, knowing that he very much fucked up or at least the universe did but he didn’t believe in that type of stuff. He fucked up. Somehow. And this fuck up does not benefit him at all.

“We’ll talk when we get home.” He says, his voice didn’t show how rattled he was. He hangs up and she tries to get him back but nothing. 

She sighs, dropping her head in defeat. “I wanna go for a ride.” 

“Miss Y/n why don’t we go into the kitchen. I’ll make you some lavender tea, yes?”

She looks up and crosses her arms across her chest. For a moment she hesitates and then agrees with a nod. Alfred was still Alfred, nothing has changed. Bruce is Batman and Damian…who was—Robin. That makes sense. It all started making sense. She didn’t know what to think but she knew what she felt; turned on and a little bit worried for Bruce’s well being, not only that but Damian too. He’s just a kid after all. 

She sits on the counter, Alfred doesn’t tell her to sit on a chair this time, and she just watches him prepare tea and sandwiches. 

“Isn’t it bad to eat late at night?” She asks. 

She is a bit more calmer now. He smiles softly and nods; “Yes but you know how Master Bruce is. Quiet stubborn.”

“Very.” She chuckles. 

There was silence again. The scent of chamomile and lavender help ease the tension. 

“Is—being Batman is…dangerous business, huh?” She asks. “No wonder he’s got all those scars on that body of his. Idiot told me that he’s had ridiculous accidents like golfing accidents and that he’s just clumsy.”

Alfred hands her the cup of lavender tea. 

“Thanks. And I guess him being Batman makes sense. His eyes are too intense to be a dumb, playboy billionaire. They give him away.” She continues talking. “I’m not mad at him. I still like him as Bruce Wayne or Batman or whoever he is. I like him.”

“And here I thought you would’ve broken up with him, Miss Y/n.”

She gasps dramatically and pretends to be offended. “Alfred! Then you don’t know me that well!” Then she giggles. “Hey, I have my own secret nights in Gotham too. Except that…Bruce knows those nights. He even came to watch.”

“Then you should ask him to watch those nights of his. Behind the scenes, of course.”

“Of course. If he lets me stay, y’know, now that I know.” 

The roar of the engine bounces off the walls of the cave. Surprisingly enough to Y/n the bats didn’t stir. Now, when Batman got off that bat mobile, she came this close to pounce on him and dragging him to the bedroom in cowl and all. Dear God, she began, thank you? Her voice cracks within her thoughts. Then there was Damian, the cutest Robin of them all, glaring a hole into her head, boy, did that kid hate her. She shrugs to herself and turns back to Batman who was walking towards her getting ready to explain himself but she rushed up to him and kissed his lips. 

“I’ll be upstairs, Batman.” She grins. 

When she was gone, he glances at Alfred who smiles at him. 

“It is rude to keep a lady waiting, Master Bruce. Have I taught you nothing?”

That was a fateful night. He didn’t eat his sandwich but he sure as shit ate her pussy. After that they had a long conversation, well, not too long. Bruce may invade your privacy but not the other way around. There was a whole Bat-family behind him despite the fact that he says; ‘I work alone,’ in that Batman voice. He’s a loner who can’t deal with loneliness. 

Y/n loves this man who is full of contradictions. Though, he knows that such a happy relationship doesn’t last, at least not for him. Bruce is always prepared for the bad things to come, always kept an eye on her whenever she went out late at night or when she worked at the club. This overwhelmed Y/n so she would lash out at him like a child and then break up with him and then the next day or so she’d run back to him. And much to his displeasure, he waited. He didn’t know why he waited. Bruce didn’t like to be pulled back and forth. It was either black or white. We’re done or we’re together. That’s it. But with her, he wanted to see where this ended because it seemed like it would never end. He was never going to say it—he is bad at communication—but he could feel himself fall for her more and more everyday and he even tried his best to hide it from himself. Though she is complicated and he does love a challenge. 

There were those moments when he has those grouchy asshole days—its everyday but there are worse days—and it made the tension between them hot and ugly. A day like that would be hell at the manor. 

She wasn’t living with him despite the fact that he asked her to. She said no and that was that. Though she stayed over mostly even on his bad days. Y/n would make sure that if an argument was going to start, Damian was nowhere to be found. She couldn’t argue with Bruce with Damian there. Her parents never fought in front of her so why would she do that to his kid? 

She came into his office and sat on his desk with her legs crossed over and a magazine in her hand. 

“According to this survey, most people agree you are, in fact, a gigantic asshole.” Y/n said. 

Bruce grunted. There was glaring but a sexual tension that could be felt a mile away. He took her right then and there and she’d giggle, knowing that she riled him up. 

Angry sex was common yet he was delicate somehow. He would sneak in a soft kiss or two before hungrily eating her up. Either way, she’d take him away from whatever was troubling his mind and make him take a bubble bath with her. He’d rest on her chest as she washed his hair.

“Why do you put up with me?” She hums as gently massages his scalp. “I’m a horrible mess. If you were like any other man, you’d be crying by now because I’m so horrible. I’m so mean.”

“I’ve seen horrible every night, Y/n. You don’t begin to measure up to it.”

“Yeah, I know but I mean like horrible girl standard? I guess?” She didn’t know how to put it. 

“Hmm, yeah, I’d say you’re a pretty horrible girl.” 

“Hey! You’re not supposed to agree.” She pouts. 

He chuckles. “And you know, I’m not like any other man but even so, no one can handle you.”

“Guess you hate that. After all, you are a bit of a control freak.” She paused and then glanced at him with a mischievous grin. “Do I scare you?” 

“No.” 

“Liar.” She whispers into his hair.

He kissed her hand and they rest there for a while until it was time to get out because their skin would get wrinkly. There were mornings where she laid in bed naked and he was in a suit getting ready for a meeting after his last nights work. There was no point in begging him to stay, to stop overworking himself because then both of their tempers would get the best of them. It was obvious they didn’t work well together but they made it work. Y/n was as frustrating as he was but not as naive. Bruce would kiss her bare shoulder and she’d kiss his chin and then he left. She looks at the time on her phone, two hours before work, she’ll take his motorcycle and make it in time. 

Except, this was a bad morning though. Her emotions were everywhere and if you’d look at her in anyway type of way, she’d cry. Bruce left. Y/n was on the bed, naked, the warm sunlight danced across her skin, and she sniffled. She didn’t want to go to work. Maybe becoming his wife wouldn’t be so bad, she thought. No, that’d be a horrible marriage because I’m a horrible girl. And he’s a good person. He’s such a good person. Y/n began to touch herself. Bruce is so good. Oh, Bruce. Please, punish me. I’ve been a bad girl. Her fingers slipped in and she began to pump her fingers in and out of her wet pussy. I love y—Her eyes rolled to the back of her head and she came. She moaned into the pillow, her body went limp, and she fell asleep for twenty minutes. Y/n was still sad. Masterbating didn’t take away that sadness that was bubbling in the pit of her stomach. 

She drags herself out of bed, took a shower, got dressed, and slowly walked down the long halls. 

Damian is in a black turtle neck and gray slacks. He looked a lot like his father but way more adorable. 

“Morning.” She says softly. 

“L/n.” He states. “We have to speak.”

“Hm? ‘Bout?” She walks into the kitchen and pours herself a cup of orange juice.

“My father clearly likes you and you him.”

“Yes, we do.”

“Yet you and him fight a lot. I do not think that is good for father nor for you.” He is slowly getting to the point. “It’s not my business what happens but because my father’s well being—oh.”

He stops dead in his tracks when he sees tears forming in her eyes. They rolled down her cheeks and she begins to cry.

“What?” She whispers. “Y-you’ve heard us fight?”

“Y-yes…the manor may be large but it isn’t difficult to avoid you both.” 

“I’m so sorry, Damian. I didn’t mean for you to hear us,”

“That’s not…please stop crying, L/n.” He didn’t know what to do.

“Excuse me.” She sniffles. “W-we’ll continue this conversation…I just gotta…go.” 

Tim was going to greet her but she passes by quickly. He turns to glare at Damian who was confused himself.

“What did you do?”

“Nothing, Drake. Excuse me.” 

Tim is left alone in the kitchen with an empty cup in his hand. 

“What in the hell?”

*Kill Bill sirens play* What will happen? Will Damian make her cry even more? Will his father aka Bruce Wayne aka Batman beat his ass for making his girlfriend cry? Will Tim Drake have his cup of coffee in peace for once? Who knows? Until next time....which will be soon.

[chogiwank]

Forgotten Keys

Yoo Kihyun Smut

Warning:  not much tbh,, fingering?!

Your family had left for the weekend so you made plans to go out on a cute date with your boyfriend, Kihyun, but things don't end the way you expected.

You found yourself sitting on the couch in Kihyuns apartment. This is definitely not how I wanted it to go, you thought to yourself. "Oh man, oh man, oh man", you quietly whispered to yourself.

Yesterday your family had told you that they will be going to stay at some relative of ours and that they will be gone for the weekend. Naturally, your parents continued to lecture you about behaving, being extra safe, not talking to strangers and much more but you were only paying partial attention to them. You were too busy racking your head to think of cute date ideas to go on with your boyfriend, Kihyun. It's been a while since you guys have been out on a date, so this was the perfect opportunity. They left that night so you quickly ran to the living room and started to search for cute date spots. You called Kihyun the moment you finished the list.

"HEY BABE!", you yelled into the phone.

"What the fuck are you doing. What happened?!" asked Kihyun confused and slightly annoyed.

"Let's go out on a date tomorrow, my parents are gone for the weekend."

"Hell yeah, we haven't been on a date in so long, " he said and you could hear the tingle of excitement in his voice.

"I know this great restaurant that sells the best tasting food."

"Oh, really because the only thing I like to eat is you, and that tastes like heaven." he softly whispered, making your face go red in an instant.

"Great so I'll pick you up tomorrow at 6."

"Kihyun you ass-" you didn't get to finish since Kihyun ended the call knowing you were about to yell at him. You still haven't gotten to him talking like that, especially since he randomly throws it in a conversation. But you were more than excited to meet him tomorrow so that was the only thing on your mind the whole night.

The next day at 6 pm sharp, you could hear Kihyun car pulling up on the driveway. You looked in the mirror once again making sure you were looked good. You were wearing an off-the-shoulder navy dress which stopped mid-thigh. You looked damn good and you knew it. Kihyun knocked on the door which made you stumble a bit because you were still way too excited. When you opened the door you could only hear him saying "Fuck you look so good" and a bunch of other muffled words that you couldn't make out. You were just as in awe as he was as he was wearing a white button-down shirt with a black tie and a black blazer making you gasp at how hot he looked.

"Let's go now shall we?" He said taking your hand.

The car ride took about 15 mins, and the entire time Kihyun couldn't take his eyes off of your exposed thighs.

"Look at the road!" you yelled at him noticing he was looking at your thighs, "Oh what do we have here? Kihyun being flustered?" you said laughing. But he didn't say anything back, what could he even say?

You both made it and after a long wait, the food finally arrived. Kihyun was madly in love with the food asking for seconds and more varieties. After you both were done you told him that he should take you home now. You looked through your purse for your house key but they weren't there. You were in disbelief, you started panicking you couldn't believe this. "Crap, crap, crap. Kihyun I left my keys at home. I'll call my friend she lives near this area, I'll ask if I can stay over at her place" you told him with a worried expression

"No need," he said grabbing my phone and my hand while dragging me to the car, "You can come to my apartment. Why bother someone else. And we haven't seen each other in a while this will be a good time to catch up." There was a glint in his eyes as he talked but you didn't notice. You agreed with him, why bother someone else.

So there you are now, sitting perfectly straight on Kihyuns couch. It's not that you hate being there it's just that it was your first time being at his apartment alone with him which for some reason made you more nervous than you should be. Kihyun, on the other hand, was perfectly calm, no strange behavior or anything of that sort. He was just fine making some tea for himself in the kitchen.

"What are you sitting so straight for?" he asked leaning against the wall with a smug grin on his face.

"Wha-what- no- I meant no I'm not", you stuttered. "Fuck," you thought to yourself "Fuck I stuttered"

Kihyun chuckled walking towards you while loosening his tie. You looked away and thought that he was going to sit beside you but instead you felt his presence behind the couch. You were about to turn around when he whispered in your ear, "Why's my girl so nervous?"

You felt shivers go down your spine. Your insides were flying around and you could feel your throat getting dryer and dryer.

"Who says I'm nervous", you said it less fierce than you intended. You were hoping he wouldn't catch it but of course, he did. Trying to change the subject quickly you told him you're going to change into a pair of his clothes. You got up quickly in case Kihyun wanted to say anything more. You went into his room and picked out a pair of sweatpants and shirt that looked comfy. You were trying to unzip your dress when a pair of other hands came to help you. You gasped at his sudden touch. You could feel his cold hands, one unzipping your dress while the other softly touched your back. The dress then fell to the ground and his hands ran down your body sending shivers down your spine.

"Kihyu-", you were about to yell at him when he cut you off

"Looked like you needed some help", he whispered into your ear. He began laying kisses down your neck making sure to go along your sweet spots making you let out a quiet moan.  He bit down on your neck leaving a mark which will definitely last for a few days. He slowly brought one of his hands up to squeeze your boob, and his other hand went down. He pulled down your panty a little, just enough for him to slide one of his fingers in between your clit.

"Look at you already being this wet even when I've barely touched you"

You threw your head back not realizing that you let out a moan, which stimulated Kihyun to finger you faster and harder. He enjoyed this, he enjoyed this very much, to be in full control of you. He likes the feeling of making you weak at his slightest touch because it shows who has the power.

"Stop", you said breathily. That just made him want to do more.

"Oh, you want more you say?" he says chuckling. He doesn't hesitate to put another finger inside of your pussy making you bite your lip so hard it bleeds. He's fingering you with 2 fingers now going faster and faster. He soon found your g-spot, making sure to hit right there each time causing you more pain.

All you could do was try to hold in your moans which took a lot of energy out of you.

"I don't like it when my baby girl holds in her moans." He growled in your ear, making your knees weak.

He suddenly thrust a third finger into your pussy and this time you let out the loudest moan. All while he's fingering you with three fingers, he's also biting down on your neck and squeezing your boobs. You feel yourself breathing heavier and faster, and you could feel you reaching your climax. He continued to thrust his fingers deep inside of you at an even faster pace and within seconds you were screaming and had orgasmed all over his hands. He continued to ride you out of your climax as your breathing became normal. You turned around to look at him and at the same time, he took his hand that was covered in your juices and licked it,

"I told you, you taste the best"

I hope y’all enjoyed that even a lil! 

It’s my first time writing one so it probably sucks lMaO,, feedback would be appreciated though, thANks

Also if you have any requests don’t hesitate to ask!! ;))

- Jeno’s babygirl