#tbh this. isn’t well written but it’s here!!! I don’t care what you think!!! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kakujis · 1 year ago

Text

what do i call you?;

summary: oliver thinks you'll be easy, just like the other girls he's slept with. but things are different when you don't cave in like he wants. pt 1 | 2

warnings: college!au, afab!fem reader, fratboy!oliver, wildcard!kunigami, this one is a bit angsty, oliver is actually a big softie, situationships, implied fwb with kunigami + karasu, one sided pining (oliver), oral f!receiving, praise, pet names, p*ssyjob, swearing, mentions of drinking, reader is confused on her feelings, if i missed anything lmk, around 7.1k

an: this took me literal months... send help. well, it's finally here! after months of sitting in my drafts half written, i was able to finish it. if the smut is bad, i'm sorry idk how i did it before LMFAO. thanks to zen for letting me ramble about this in their dms for months. tbh i think this is the longest fic i've written so far and ofc it's about this guy LOL. also, i may or may not have a mini playlist for this so lmk if u any of u would like the link :>. resident of: @enchantedforest-network

the first time you “meet” oliver aiku, it’s the morning after you were a drunken mess on your best friend’s back. it’s not that he’s surprised to see someone that isn’t sendou shuto in his kitchen, it’s the fact that you’re not walking out yet. instead, you fix yourself a bowl of cereal, barely paying any mind to the brunette watching you. before he can speak you leave, padding back to sendou’s room.

the second time happens when he catches a glimpse of you in the library with karasu tabito. your arms hanging around his shoulders in a back hug, as you peer down at his laptop. he notes the proximity and nonchalant demeanor of karasu, typing away while he talks to you about his latest class, even with your cheek pressed against his. maybe you’re his girlfriend, he thinks, before shrugging and moving on.

the third time happens when you stumble down a hallway at a party, bumping into him as you giggle out a quick, “sorry!” but kunigami rensuke isn’t far behind, grabbing your hand and scolding you before he offers an half assed apology as well. he doesn’t think much of it, preoccupied by his own date, until he sees kunigami pick you up as you babble in his ear about something.

the official meeting is when you’re having a movie night with sendou at his dorm again. your head lays in the red head’s lap, texting your friends as you give distracted “mhm”s to whatever sendou’s saying.

“are you even paying attention?” sendou asks, eyes flickering between you and the screen. before shoving a handful of popcorn into his mouth.

“sen, i really don’t care about whichever gravure idol you’re into right now.” you reply, before your lips curve up into a smile at whatever text you’re reading.

for once, he’s unsure what this feeling is inside him. is it jealousy? awe? he can’t pinpoint the reason why his dual toned eyes always trail to you, taking in your pretty form. but he’s oliver aiku, he could probably get into your pants if he tried hard enough.

he slides down onto the couch, slinging an arm over sendou. “whatcha watchin’?” he’s not really paying attention to what’s on the tv, their voices muffled as he notes your form through his peripheral.

the red-head shrugs, “some romcom that she picked out and isn’t even watching.” he pokes your head, “at least introduce yourself.”

“mm?” you hum, moving your phone away to peek up at oliver. from the way you’re positioned you’re viewing him upside down. you readjust, twisting and pushing yourself up onto your knees, leaning over with one outstretched hand. “hi, i’m y/n.”

“you’re blocking the screen!” sendou exclaims, but you don’t move, eyes locked on the brunette across from you.

oliver tries his best not to leer, really, but he drinks you up with his eyes. it’s hard not to since you’re wearing a shirt that’s clearly too big with the way it falls off one shoulder. he thinks you’d look pretty underneath him and wonders if you make even prettier sounds.

he reaches over to shake your hand, to sendou’s dismay, and maybe it’s cliche but he swears he feels a spark for the very first time. it’s something that gets his heart racing, something new and exciting.

“i’m oliver, nice to officially meet you.”

the upcoming months blur and melt into each other, there’s not much to be noted. beyond you coming over every so often to hang out with sendou, what is there beyond soccer practice, classes half paid attention to, and meaningless hookups? frat parties? sure, you both attend them. with each other? not necessarily.

no, you continue to evade oliver aiku’s grasp.

“i can’t,” the text reads, “i promised to go with kunigami.”

he frowns, before typing back: “maybe next time then?”

“maybe.”

it’s fine, he thinks, fixing himself another cup of alcohol. he’ll find another girl, it’s easy. but even the ones he’s been with before, the ones who always answer his texts for a quick fuck are starting to bore him.

it doesn’t help that when you arrive you look so good or that you excitedly greet everyone with a smile and a hug. his hands always linger on the small of your back until you pull away, scampering back over to your date.

it’s confusing, you swear up and down that you aren’t dating kunigami, but anyone would think you’re with him. especially when your arms are always laced around him, body pressed against his as the two of you talk. he’s always wondered what you could possibly be talking about, kunigami isn’t much for words let alone full blown conversations. but maybe he’s like oliver, fallen deep for how easy it is to talk to you.

seconds tick into minutes, which turn to hours and before either of you knows it, you’re tipsy, lips curled into a smile as you giggle and shout while your friends play beer bong. he leans against the wall with sendou, trying his best to not stare.

“you could try talking to her more.” his friend says, breaking the silence between the two. “or are you just gonna stare at her forever?”

“is she with kunigami or not?” he asks, ignoring the question, “every time i ask her out i get turned down.”

“yeah, i dunno either, she doesn’t really answer that.” sendou replies, taking another sip of his beer. “i think she’s just messing around, if that helps.”

if that helps - oliver is pretty sure it doesn’t, but he knows sendou isn’t going to tell him everything. still, the vague response pisses him off.

there’s also the fact that the two of you have similar friend groups and that you’re a clingy drunk that throws him off. when he finds you in kunigami’s arms again, dozing away in the crook of his neck, the grip intensifies on his cup, indenting the red plastic. his close friends notice it too, the weight of his stare is heavy as if there’s on a spotlight right where you’re sitting.

but he puts the facade back on when another girl approaches, a welcoming distraction. she’s cute and he recognizes her as being part of his fraternity’s sister sorority. unfortunately, he just can’t focus on her and what she’s saying. his eyes continue to flicker back to you, hot jealousy continuing to bubble in his stomach when he sees kunigami’s hand rub circles on your inner thigh.

the girl is still talking and he’s doing his best to at least nod when she finishes a sentence. but the final straw is when you sleepily smile at kunigami, as he reads your lips, ‘that tickles!’.

“hey,” he interrupts, grabbing the closest friend to him, “could you excuse me for a second? by the way, this is sendou.”

it was brief but for a moment, sendou felt it. the too tight grip on his shoulder and the nails digging into his skin through this cotton tee indicated one thing: jealousy. but before he can speak, oliver’s maneuvering his way through the crowd with a one track mind.

when he makes it over to you, your grip on kunigami’s shirt is so tight as his hand continues snaking it’s way under the hem of your skirt. you’re not sure if the heat is coming from desire or the alcohol swimming through your veins. your gaze is something oliver’s seen before with countless other girls, it’s sweet, but laced with want.

“hey, pretty girl.” he says, voice cutting through the air like a knife.

you tear away from kunigami’s gaze, smiling cutely when you see who it is. “oliver~ hii,” you sing, twisting a little out of the ginger’s grasp to reach your arms out towards him. “come, come.”

his heart thumps against his chest and he moves closer to bend down and give you a side hug. “what’s up?”

“mm, nothin’,” you chime, tilting your head to the side, “just hangin’ out, right rennie?”

rensuke nods, but his eyes are locked on oliver, clearly annoyed at the interruption. his arm finds it’s way around your waist, pulling you closer.

as fast as you make oliver’s heart race, you’re just as quick to make it drop. it’s a nickname and nothing more, right? so why does it feel like he’s going to throw up? something that sounds sweet on your tongue feels sour on his.

there’s something beyond the disdain that he hides behind his forced smile and if oliver's one thing, it’s petty.

“aren’t you a little too drunk, y/n?” he asks, grabbing your arm before pulling you up, maybe it’s the irritation but he almost yanks you out of the ginger’s grip.

it catches rensuke off guard as you stumble up and out of his lap. you’re shaky on your feet, but oliver’s there to replace not only kunigami but any thought inside your pretty head.

if you weren’t so drunk you’d probably notice the hammering of his heart as you wrap your arms around his neck for stability.

“carry me?” you slur and he nods, chest swelling with pride because tonight he won.

“of course, wouldn’t want anyone takin’ advantage of you.” he smirks, leveling his gaze with kunigami.

if he was being honest, he would probably lose if he got into a fight with him. yet, the sweet satisfaction that he can hold onto in this moment overtakes that thought. with your head on his shoulder, you start to doze off, missing the way kunigami stands with balled fists.

“what do you think you’re doing, aiku?” he starts, before moving forward, but oliver steps back.

“making sure y/n’s alright,” he says, “besides you were pretty touchy just now.”

“cause she’s my date.” he states, starting to get irritated with how every step he takes forward oliver takes another back.

“and she’s had too much to drink, right y/n?” you mumble something incoherent and oliver nods. “see?”

the air is tense. not only is oliver edging kunigami on but the group playing beer pong has noticed and quieted down. before things continue to escalate, karasu swings by, wrapping an arm around the wildcard’s shoulders.

“oi, rensuke we need someone to fill in fer otoya.” he says, eyeing oliver as well. if only he could laugh at the irony.

if it isn’t number one and number two. he thinks, recalling the amount of time he’s seen you, arms linked with karasu’s as you wander the halls to your next class. but three is the luckiest number, or so he’ll hope. and besides, hierarchies can always change.

rensuke’s quick to shrug the crow off, the scowl on his face ever present, but tabito doesn’t seem to mind. he’s too focused on the sleeping girl in oliver’s arms.

“well, i don’t really feel like fighting today,” oliver continues, “so we’ll be on our way.” he walks off before the other two can get a word out, nodding to sendou who seems pleased to talk to someone about himself.

there’s only the sound of the shoes on pavement as oliver walks you home. nestled in his arms, you sometimes perk up to mumble something incoherent or make a noise in his ear. he doesn’t mind, the campus is nice and quiet at night.

“oliverr,” you slur out, “where are we goin?”

“home, princess.” he answers, making sure to call you all the nicknames he wants.

“your dorm?” you ask and he swears the red tips of his ears are from the cold. but it’s not cold at all, it’s the middle spring semester.

“if you want?” he jokes, before quickly adding, “nah, yours.” he’s told himself before that if he waits it out, he’ll get to you. but it’s been a few months of this back and forth, where you feel so close yet so far.

“we can’t go to my place!” you whine, “i forgot my key.”

“and where’s your roommate?” he asks, stopping, because he’s realized another thing. he doesn’t even know where your dorm is.

“at the party,” you pout, before pulling away and looking at him. “you’re cute, oliver. you should date her.”

he gives a dry laugh, heart only semi-crushed. you think he’s cute. he’ll take it, especially when it’s beat accelerates further when you push his bangs back.

“sweaty.” you note, before wiping at his brow.

“hey,” he says, knowing that a blush has crept onto his cheeks, “stay on track here. where am i taking you tonight?”

“your place.” you furrow your brow. “how many times do i have to say that?”

“sorry! just making sure.” he says, shrugging before resuming the walk. it’s not too far off course, if there ever was a course to begin with.

you settle back into place, head on his shoulder, and humming to yourself. oliver appreciates the music.

“not gonna take my offer, eh?” you ask, breath tickling his neck. “she’s pretty, funny, but not as funny as me, remember that.”

“i don’t think i’ve met her before, have i?” he asks, scanning his mind of recent memory. truth be told, he can’t recall you showing up with anyone that wasn’t a guy on the soccer team.

“hm? you know everyone.” you counter.

feigning innocence, he asks,“do i?”

“maybe its because you’ve met soo many girls, you don’t remember her.” you retort and he winces inwardly at the disdain clear in your voice.

“c’mon now,” he says, “i really don’t know that many.”

you hum, “mm, i bet if i didn’t show up as often you wouldn’t remember me-”

he’s quick to cut you off, “not true.” it’s too early to say he loves you, maybe infatuated is a better word.

“if you say so,” you sigh, mind still buzzed and muddied. “are we there yet? i’m sleepy.”

“just up the stairs,” he mutters, “feel free to fall asleep.”

when the two of you arrive at the dorm, you’re fast asleep. he tries to move you onto the couch but you continue to cling, grumpy moans coming from you as he tries to pry you off.

“you’ll kill me if you wake up in my bed,” he mutters, so he carries you off to sendou’s room. “here, it’s sen’s bed.”

“don’t go, i need to cuddle with someone,” you mumble, words still slightly slurred, “til sen comes back at least.”

he stills, knee sinking into the mattress, one hand on your back the other on the bed to steady himself. “you’re gonna kill me when you wake up.” he murmurs, but suddenly the perfume you’ve wearing smells really good. so does your hair and even the skin sticky with sweat is appealing. he wants to stay.

“noo, i won’t,” you whisper, the scent of alcohol still heavy in your breath. “promise.”

“…you want me to stay that badly?” he jokes, inwardly cursing at how easy you make him crumble.

he swears his heart nearly stops when you giggle out a “yeah.”

he settles in, maneuvering the two of you so that you’re laying on his chest. you fall back asleep quickly, nuzzling into him while your arm is splayed across him.

it’s comfortable, he thinks, different from the other girls who get up and leave him after sex. not that he ever asks them to stay, actually preferring it when they leave. but he didn’t realize that someone could actually feel this good in his arms.

“i think i’m actually falling in love,” he scoffs in disbelief, before throwing a palm up to his forehead, a grin plastered on his face. “goodnight, princess.”

he’s not surprised that you left before he woke up that morning. what’s actually surprising is how you seem to avoid him more lately afterwards. at least before you’d throw a few snarky remarks his way and listen to him talk for a bit before you’d inevitably wander back to your phone.

it’s been about two weeks since that night and oliver’s got the message enough to leave you alone for most of the time you’re over. even when you come over for a movie night, he’ll try to keep his talks to you at a minimum. sometimes inviting over another teammate to fill up the awkward silences.

even before the incident, he thought that maybe there’s a reason for it. a reason that he contemplates more one day as he watches you from the corner of his eye. there’s a reason why you’ll lay in sendou’s lap and not his, why you’ll hold hands with your other friends and not him, why they get meals while he gets scraps.

he’s got it half right. there’s been too many texts from sendou asking how to get a crying girl out of his dorm, too often have there been “and that’s another one out the dorm,” calls.

there’s a reason you keep him at arms length, why the most affection you’ll do is give him a quick hug. but he feels that you’re chipping down ever so slightly with each hang out, each party, and each “goodnight.”

is that why tonight you don’t follow sendou to his room when he says goodnight? why you awkwardly fiddle with your hands, something he’s noticed you do when you’re nervous. he misses you and he feels a little more ambitious or perhaps insane for thinking that you might miss him too.

he clears his throat, prompting you to peek at him from his side of the couch. “you goin’ to bed?”

to his relief, you shake your head answering, “not yet, you?”

“depends. you want company?” he asks, sliding over to where you’re sitting.

you giggle, something he hasn’t heard from his end in weeks, giving in to his little game. besides, no one else will text you back this late at night, “i don’t know, do i?”

he grins, “i think so.” emboldened, he glides his hand underneath your blanket, before he presses his hand against your thigh. he waits a second to see if you’ll stop him, but you don’t.

his hand trails up until it’s dipping past the waistband of your shorts. he smirks when he feels the wet patch on your undies, “and here i thought you didn’t like me.”

your breath hitches slightly, “what do you mean? i’m always nice to you.”

“thats debatable.” he mumbles, slipping your panties aside to ghost his fingers up and down your slit. “especially lately, you don’t even wanna look at me.”as he’s about to sink a finger in, you jolt forward, grabbing his wrist.

“wait!” you gasp, chest heaving. he stops, just like you ask, never having seen you so flustered before.

“waiting.” he says, doing his best to not have his mind too muddied by the heaviness in his pants.

“i don’t want to.. um, i don’t think we should fuck.” you stumble over your words, unable to take your eyes off his hand.

he blinks, “okay.” he won’t push it. retreating, he tries to sit back, but you don’t remove the grip on his wrist. “uh, are you gonna-“

“we could… do other things though.” you mumble, but you release his hand and push it away anyway. “actually, nevermind.”

he grins, finally getting it. “so you want me to finger you, is that it?”

“do you have to put it that way?” you groan, laying back and covering your face with your hands.

“finger fucking?” he jokes, but he’s slinking back forward, his hand traveling back to it’s rightful spot.

you groan again, but not without spreading your legs for him and he smiles.

“not gonna talk to me?” he continues, one thumb slowly stroking your cunt through the fabric of your panties.

“do you want me to change my mind?” you answer, muffled by the sleeves of your hoodie.

“please don’t,” he laughs, before tugging at your clothing. “can i?”

you nod again and he’s quick to pull them off. it’s his turn to lose his breath, lost in how pretty your folds glisten for him.

change of plans, he thinks as he levels himself down onto the bed.

“oliver?” you call, peeking through your fingers again.

“as long as we don’t fuck right?” he asks, licking his lips and you can read the anticipation clear on his face. but he’ll wait for you to say yes, like a dog on a leash.

you nod again, the both of your hearts hammering as you do and he dives in. he starts slow to savor it, his tongue moving with long languid strokes between your folds.

he knew you’d taste good, but not this good. even better are the noises you make, well the ones you’re trying to hide. he glances up at you, your face contorted as you bite down on the sleeve of your jacket. a heavy blush creeps onto his face, you’re so pretty.

you arch your back as he slides his tongue over your clit, bringing his fingers up to prod at your opening. he continues to work his tongue over your already swollen clit, suckling out mewls from your lips. when he sinks his fingers in, your jaw drops as you gasp out a “fuck!”

covering your mouth again, you whimper as he picks up the pace. he wants to hear that pretty voice again, so he curls his digits up inside your gummy walls and to his delight, you sob out again.

by now he’s realizing he actually has shit self control. pushing your clothing up, he pulls off your already swollen clit, readjusting himself as he starts to leave sloppy kisses up the expanse of your belly.

“i wanna hear you, i wanna see you,” he mumbles, latching onto your neck and sucking in a mark. “besides, sendou’s asleep.” he actually has no clue if his best friend’s asleep, he’s just so high on you that he doesn’t care.

“take me to your room then,” you whimper, conceding, breathless and squirming. he smiles against the crook of your neck before removing his fingers from your cunt. he picks you up fast, scooping you up as you tremble in his embrace.

he practically sprints to his room, slamming the door shut before throwing you into his bed. you scramble to take the rest of your clothes off. he wanted to see, remember?

you tug on his shirt, it’s only fair if you take your clothes off that he does too. “hey… take this off.”

“i thought we weren’t fucking?” he laughs, but you raise a brow.

“do we need to fuck if we’re naked?” you scoff, but in reality, you feel a bit too exposed.

he grins, shrugging, “nah.” then he’s quick to take off his own before pushing you down. “let me finish eating, yeah?”

you settle back, sighing out a breathless, “yeah.”

with your legs spread so nicely, it’s easy for him to get back to work. he spreads your eager folds with his thumbs, admiring your pretty pussy before spitting down a lob of saliva. you jolt at the feeling, but he uses an arm to keep you still. he has work to do. his tongue begins lapping back at your folds before diving into your cunt, slurping at the arousal leaking onto his sheets.

oliver’s not typically a giver, maybe having only given a couple times in all of hookups. but this was different, he could probably eat you out for hours if you could stay a twitching, mewling mess underneath. perhaps he was starving, growling as he pulls you in even closer and you find your hands in his hair.

as his name leaves your lips like a chant, he continues to tongue fuck you, your slick trailing down his chin. your core burns as you grind onto him, chasing after your release, his stubble lightly scratching across your skin.

he switches, latching back onto your clit with nimble fingers working their way inside you. “cum for me, baby.” he murmurs, curling his fingers up again just how you like it. “you’re so fucking good for me, you know that?”

“s-shut up,” you sob, but the praise hits in all the right places as you arch your back. another indication that you like it is the harsher pull on his strands, a string of obscenities leaving your mouth.

“aw, i’m just tryna make you feel good,” he muses as he hears your first frustrated noise from pulling away. “close huh?”

“oliver, please.” you whimper, brow furrowed as you gaze down at him. you’re so close, but just his fingers scissoring you isn’t enough.

he tilts his head, “please what?” he asks, and you wonder when he got so fucking bold. “use your words.” maybe it’s the blood rushing straight to his head that’s got him out of sorts, but for the first time he’s got you where he wants you. he may be the one caged between your thighs, but you're the one that’s stuck in his web, begging for release.

his fingers continuously moving in and out of you makes your eyelids flutter, especially when he picks up the pace. “i wanna cum, please,” you beg, “please, please, please.”

he laughs out an “that wasn’t so hard right?”, before he’s back onto your bundle of nerves. he seeks out the friction of the bed for his own pleasure, his cock hard and heavy as he grinds out against the sheets.

right now though, the focus is on you. the focus is the way your thighs clench closer together, boxing him in, letting him know when what he does is good. it’s the way you greedily grind up into his face, tumbling his name off your lips like it’s the only thing you know how to say.

you finally burst when oliver murmurs, “so fucking good for me,” his breath hot on your clit. he finger fucks you through your orgasm, continuously praising you, “good job, beautiful, that’s it.”

you pant, pushing at his hand when you’ve started to get overstimulated. he slips out, but pushes you back when you start to reach for his cock. you watch with doe eyes as he smears your slick across his cock, stroking himself.

“keep your legs open.” he says, eyes lidded. “i won’t fuck you, don’t worry.” he reassures when he sees your eyes widen more.

you comply, still slightly twitching from your orgasm, when he settles himself between your folds again. he’s not far off, not when he’s been drunk off the sound and taste of you. but the wetness between your folds has his head spinning. he slips so easily between them, he wishes he could just slide into you, but he’s good at keeping his promises.

he uses one hand to keep his cockhead pressed firmly against you. you think it’s messy, his hand covered in arousal, precum, and saliva but you’re both a little mesmerized by the scene. the two of you make eye contact and he breathes out, “you’re so beautiful.”

“stop complimenting me,” you pout, before you’re pulling him down to rest his forehead against yours. “or else i’ll kill you.”

“i thought you were gonna say you’d fall in love with me,” he muses, lips barely ghosting over yours as he continues to rut in between your folds.

“in your dreams, oliver.” you murmur, but you tilt up and kiss him anyway. you taste yourself on him but can’t seem to care, as his tongue slips in to intertwine with yours.

that’s enough to set him off, shuddering as he comes undone on your belly. white hot ropes paint your skin and you pull away, lips swollen. you fall back on the bed, the only sound the two of you panting.

oliver lays down next to you, staring at the ceiling. he brings his hand up, staring at his sticky fingers covered in fluid.

“gross,” you cringe and he peeks over at you. “clean me up?”

“sure.” he’s quick to get up, grabbing a box of tissues by his bed.

“all men are the same.” you groan, but there’s a smile dancing on your face.

“yeah, this is the brand sendou and i prefer.” he jokes and you smack him playfully. he uses the tissues to clean his hand first before moving onto you, scooping up the remnants of what just happened. he pauses when he moves lower, looking at you.

are we… anything? he wants to ask, but he bites his tongue when he notices you staring back. he cleans up the rest, before asking, “so, what now?”

“i’m gonna shower, that’s what.” you say, pushing yourself up and grabbing your clothes. you don’t put them on, there’s no point since both the guys in this dorm have seen all of you.

as you turn the knob to leave, he asks, “can i join you?”

you scoff, shooting him a look. “absolutely not.”

he figured you’d say that.

it’s only 8pm on a saturday when sendou’s phone blows up.

“sorry,” he says, reading the letters of your name across the screen. “i gotta take this.”

it’s a rare night in, oliver’s own phone buzzing with “where are you?” texts from his friends. he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about you, the way you squirmed and moaned for him was enough to set him over. falling further into the sticky web of your hold.

when sendou walks back in, the expression on his face is mixed with concern and confusion.

“something happen?” oliver asks, pausing the movie.

“uhh.. yeah i think so.” sendou answers, scratching the back of his neck. “i think y/n’s coming over.”

there’s confusion washed over the brunette’s features. he’s not sure why this visit is so concerning, you’ve changed your mind before. saying no to movie night yet coming over unannounced anyway.

sendou sighs, “don’t freak out when she gets here.” he’s not an idiot. he’s seen basically every spare glance that oliver’s thrown your way, the schedule modifications to come home more often to see you, the way his smile lingers on you when you do almost anything. he sees the way oliver deflates when you’re with someone else, it’s quick when it happens, almost uncatchable.

“and why would i do that?” he’s joking, but the knot in his stomach is turning. what is it? you’re coming over to tell them all about your great fuckin’ date with rensuke? even after almost sleeping together, you still ran right back to kunigami when he called for you.

sendou rolls his eyes, before repeating himself, “seriously. don’t.”

oliver throws his arms up in surrender, “okay, okay.”

when do you barge in you’re in the same hoodie you wore the night you came undone under oliver’s mouth. the nervous smile on his face falls when he hears you sniffling. when the two of you make eye contact, your puffy red-lines eyes looking into his, he feels something break.

you blink, and then you blink again, as you try to fight back the tears that eagerly wish to spill. instinctively, you tug at the sleeves of your sweater trying to self-soothe yourself. you try to speak multiple times, only to stop and let out little huffs of air. it hurts too much.

sendou speaks first, gently rubbing your back as he guides you over to the couch. “hey… take some deep breaths.” you shake your head, balling your hands into fists as you continue to cry.

“want me to leave?” oliver asks, as much as he doesn’t want to, he knows you’re more comfortable when he’s not around. to both his and sendou’s surprise, you shake your head again, reaching out to him with trembling hands.

he sits closer and you lean down to lay in his lap, “l-let me cry here.” you mumble, grabbing his hand and placing it on the top of your head. “rub my head.”

oliver can’t help but laugh a little bit, “sure.” he nods over to sendou, whose eyes could possibly launch from their sockets. “hey, you heard her, rub her back.”

“pretty sure she said ‘head’” he retorts, but starts doing it anyway. while sendou’s eyes wander the room, sometimes glancing at the remote wondering if he should start the movie back up; oliver’s are glued on you.

he cards through your hair, eyes soft on your hiccuping form. he thinks you feel like his girlfriend, maybe if someone else saw, you’d look like it too. maybe he’ll ask sendou later. it’s a few more moments of your sniffling before you finally speak.

“do you guys think i’m stupid?” you ask, reaching out for the remote and turning whatever movie they had playing on.

“sometimes, yeah,” sendou answers and both you and oliver are quick to smack him. “ow! i thought you wanted the truth? and why the hell are you hitting me?!” he exclaims, one finger pointed towards the brunette.

oliver shrugs, “because you said something stupid?”

“i agree,” you sniffle, but there’s the smallest hint of a smile on your face. “you’re supposed to lie, idiot.”

“if i lie will you tell us what happened?” he asks, leaning back against the armrest.

“don’t even have to lie, i’ll just tell you.” you sigh, lowering the volume down on the tv. you start to tap on oliver’s knee since you’re nervous, but he continues to play with your hair.

“so you know how rensuke and i were… thinking of being something?” you start. you feel oliver’s hand pause when you say that, but he starts back up again. “anyway, he called it off today. he gave me an ultimatum that i didn’t wanna take.”

“which was?” sen asks, brow raised.

“i couldn’t see you two anymore.” you answer, “like i wouldn’t choose my best friends?”

“since when is oliver your best friend?” sendou asks, perplexed.

since she came on my face in my bedroom, he muses, but you answer with a “since i decided.”

“are you guys doing shit behind my back?” the redhead asks and the two of you look at each other.

“no,” you say, face heating up as you stare into pretty dual tone eyes, “we don’t do anything.”

not only is the blush on his face clearly visible, but so is the smirk. “not a thing,” he agrees. “if anything, we just… chill.”

you mouth out an “oliver!” but he shrugs, before using his thumb to wipe at the remnants of tears on your cheek. if you weren’t trying to hide from the current accusations, you’d probably just keen up into his touch.

“i don’t wanna know.” sendou groans, breaking the two of you out of trance. he gets up, turning the tv off and flickering his gaze towards you. “sleeping in my room tonight?”

you swallow, before nodding again, finally tearing your gaze away from oliver. “yeah, i’ll be there in a sec.”

you sit up as sendou leaves, the click of his door indicating when the two of you are alone. you feel vulnerable. you pull your knees up, hugging them, before you start to talk.

“i really liked him, y’know?” you mumble, “but i never really got the same vibe back.”

oliver’s silent, arms crossed and head thrown back as he stares up at the ceiling. he doesn’t particularly care to hear just how much you liked rensuke, but he’s not about to leave now.

you continue, “i think he wanted someone to blow off steam with, which isn’t bad, but… i wanted him to actually like me. like-like me, not just to be thrown away later on. i thought he could be my first real boyfriend.”

“why are you telling me this?” he asks, trying to keep his tone neutral. “wouldn’t you rather tell sen?”

you shake your head, looking back at him slightly. “no, i like talking to you more. about this stuff anyway, you seem to actually listen to me. sen’s not bad, but i dunno, he doesn’t really give me sound advice.”

“what’d he tell you to do last time?” he asks, semi-agreeing already that sendou really isn’t the best advice giver.

“sleep with karasu.” you deadpan, inwardly cringing at how awkward that interaction was.

“and did you?” he asks, voice a little ptiched.

“no! everyone thinks so, but no.” you failed, thankfully, unable to actually go through with it. but you made a friend with tabito, one that listens to your ramblings when you visit.

oliver sits up a little and you snap your head back forward, embarrassment eating at you. “did you two… do anything?” he’s started to realize something.

you shake your head again, hoping he doesn’t notice how feeble you feel. but he can’t notice that because he feels like he’s on cloud nine. “have you slept with anyone?” he asks, heart pounding.

what comes up must always come down and to his dismay, you nod, mumbling out a name that leaves him slaw jacked. “sendou. like, twice…. why am i sharing this information with you?”

“seriously? sendou?” he’s not sure whether this means that his friendship has ended, but it does maybe make some sense that you’re so comfortable around him. beyond best friends, anyway.

you spin around, “listen! it was when we had just graduated high school. we’d never slept with anyone before .. so, seriously, why am i telling you this?!”

he won’t lie, the panicked look on your face is cute, so much so that he’s a little less pissed off. “okay, okay. i get it,” he says, placing a hand on your shoulder. “you don’t have to tell me anything else.”

sometimes, you don’t understand how oliver can be so sweet, but you sure are grateful for it. you smile at him and his heart melts a little. it’s so much better when you aren’t crying.

he pats your head before getting up.

“oliver?” you call, but he smiles at you and it’s your turn to feel your heart flutter.

“you should get some sleep,” he says, “it’s late. you want water before you go though?” padding over to the kitchen to fix you a glass of water.

you nod, “mhm.” before getting up yourself and following after him. he hands you the glass and he thinks it’s strange. the first time you stood in this kitchen, you didn’t even look his way. but now, you look at him clearly. sure, it’s not the ideal situation and you are leaving to go sleep in another guy’s bed, but it’s enough.

one step closer to you is worth it. it shouldn’t be long now, he thinks, you’ll be his in due time. but he doesn’t notice the confusion on your face when you grab the glass. the moment your fingers touch you feel it too, that all familiar pull, the one you were trying (and failing) to avoid. you duck away when you move towards sendou’s room, hoping he can’t hear the way your heart pounds within your chest.

it can’t be him.

“that fucking stings!” oliver hisses, instinctively pulling away from you.

you frown, “i don’t know why you went to me and not like, the campus nurse or a hospital.” you recenter his face, gripping his chin between your index finger and thumb.

“why would i go there when i’ve got my guardian angel here?” he teases before wincing again as you press the cloth to his busted lip.

“i’ve got to stop the bleeding,” you mumble, ignoring his comment. oliver thinks you look so cute when concern paints your face, he’d kiss you if you let him, despite his lip. “i still can’t believe you did that.”

“did what?” he asks.

“get your ass beat,” you snort, removing the pressure from his lip before handing him an ice pack. “here.”

“he made you cry, like i wasn’t gonna beat his ass?” he counters, correcting you and if he could pout, he would.

“oliver. that was weeks ago, no one asked you to do something so stupid,” you sigh, swiveling around to look for bandages. “there was no point.”

“no one asked you to date stupid guys,” he retorts, but man does it hurt. more than his lip or his bruised cheek, the fact that no matter what you won’t look at him the same way you do others.

“i just don’t get why you’d do something so dumb.” you say, closing the medicine cabinet while holding a box of band aids. you’re so nonchalant about it it’s infuriating. why don’t you get it?

he blinks, before scoffing, “what am i to you?”

“you’re… oliver.” you say, tensing, suddenly not liking the direction this conversation is going.

“that’s it?” he almost can’t believe it, that after everything, he’s just still oliver.

“what do you want me to say?” you sigh, voice coming out a little irritated. you’ve never done well with confrontation, especially not when it comes to feelings like this.

he sets the ice pack down before continuing, “that i’m important to you, more than just some dude you string along for fun.”

“what are you even talking about?” you exasperate, because really, what does he want? he knows you two aren’t anything, nothing more than friends and yet he tries so hard. so hard it makes your head spin, so hard it makes you sometimes doubt your own judgment on him. but you refuse, you’ll continue to listen to that little voice that tells you: no. not him.

“for fucks sake, can’t you pick me just one time?!” he yells, slamming his hand on the counter and you jump back, “not karasu, not sendou, not fucking kunigami. don’t run to them. run to me. can’t it be me?”

“y-you’re crying,” you deflect, trying to look anywhere but him because if you look at him, you’ll want to hold him. you’ll want to give him, tell him that maybe you two could try to be something. you don’t even argue that kunigami isn’t an option anymore.

“i don’t fucking care.”

“and i don’t know what to say.” you answer, eyes glued on the box in your hands.

“just say the word and i’ll be yours. fully and wholly, i’ll give you everything.” he says firmly.

but you stay quiet, awkwardly fidgeting with the box in your hands.

“…please?” it comes out soft, whispery, and most of all desperate. a plea that comes from deep within because at the end of it all, he loves you.

but there’s nothing from you, it’s radio silence. it’s the quietness after midnight on a tuesday when the rest of campus is deep asleep. it’s nothing. and for a brief moment, he’ll accept it, because it’s harder for him to sit in this continued rejection. he’ll accept that right now, you don’t want him.

he gets up, pushing past you not even bothering to wipe the tears that trail down his cheeks. and he thinks, maybe even a small bit of him prays, that you’ll stop him.

but you don’t, staring at the tiled floor as he leaves, and oliver feels his heart shatter into tiny glass pieces. should he still hold onto “maybe”? maybe someday you’ll want him too? maybe someday you’ll be his exclusively? or should he give up, call it a day, and speed dial one of the girls in his phone?

he doesn’t know.

#oliver aiku #oliver aiku x reader #oliver aiku smut #bllk #bllk x reader #blue lock x reader #bllk smut #blue lock smut #oliver aiku x you #oliver aiku x y/n #pibby writing

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turtleblogatlast · 10 months ago

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hey!!! this is less of an ask and more of a fic rec tbh 😭 but have you read 'I May be Invisible, but I Still Look Good" by Dandy over on Ao3???? It's after the movie AND Leo-centric and like he gets cursed so his spirit is ripped out of his body. It's like 125k words of wonderful storytelling

OH- but for an actual question, do you have and fic recs?? or any AU's you think people should go check out?

I tried answering this before and it erased my reply orz

ANYWAY YES I HAVE read this and I absolutely love it with every fiber of my being.❤️ 100% one of my top fics to read in this fandom that I even go back to for a reread more than once. The characters are perfectly done and the set up for the story is believable with a fantastic payoff, highly highly highly recommend to anyone who hasn’t read it yet.❤️

As for recs, I’ve always been terrible at giving recs since my memory is very bad especially for ones I haven’t read in a while.😭 Off the top of my head I can recommend (note these are practically entirely Leo-centric since he’s my special guy you understand (the others aren’t forgotten at all though!!!) - and most of these are very very well known so you’ve likely already read them…):

[Note many of these are unfinished and may remain that way - please no one harass the writers for more, let them write at their own pace if they choose to write at all]

- The Neon Void by sugarpastels is absolutely incredible, the dramatic irony of it all as we follow Leo in the state he’s in and see just how broken all the Hamatos are by his “death” is just 👌👌👌 The fact that this places with one of my favorite tropes aka “Leo being in the Prison Dimension longer than canon” is just so good. Genuinely a thoroughly gripping tale that I highly recommend. It’s not complete yet (a lot of this list isn’t) but what is there is so amazing please read (though you most likely have read it already haha)

- little kid with a big death wish and firefight by remrose are another two you’ve likely seen but by god are they worth the read. Firefight isn’t done yet but it and death wish are so amazingly well written and really go into how trauma affects people differently and how ties with family can be tested in traumatic situations. Hard subjects definitely but very maturely done. (Also I misread firefight as firelight for way too long before I realized it-)

- Power Up and Times Five by pickedcarrotsandradish are both unfinished but I can’t care because what we were given is so good that I’m fine with them as they are. Both deal with Leo’s insecurities and bad feelings about himself and, very importantly, the fics go into how these insecurities establish a base for Leo’s very real flaws and how those flaws push him to act the way he does. Very interesting and compelling stuff here!! Power Up especially does really cool things for the boys’ mystic power ups, especially Leo’s, and I loved reading about the ins and outs of what they could do.

- Race Against Life, Death, and the EPF by Cass_Phoenix is just so engaging to read??? Like I love the entire set up for it - it’s feels so fresh and like you’re in Leo’s desperate situation yourself. I was so excited whenever a new chapter came out because the atmosphere was so well done.

- A Mixed Bag by GreatlyBlessed is SHOCKINGLY not Leo-centric for once haha. It’s not completed, but again, like the others above it is so good that I recommend it anyway. This story is actually a crossover between four sets of TMNT (‘87, ‘03, ‘12, and Rise) and the dynamics set up in it are SO fun I love it. Team 2 is my fave because you have literally all my faves on that team how could I not?? I also highly appreciate that everyone gets a chance to shine and that there’s no bashing at all, they’re all just very much in character and it’s refreshing to read ❤️❤️❤️

There’s a LOAD more that I could recommend I’m sure but I don’t remember them off the top of my head at the moment.😭 If I remember I’ll come back and add them in!

(Forgot about AU’s- honestly there’s some that I see and catch up on when I see them but there’s just so many that it’s a bit difficult to keep track of sometimes! I’d have to go around and fully look through many before having a solid answer haha! The ones I do see are always so well done though, I may come back and add them here if I remember 😅)

#non au ask #it’s killing me to not remember them all orz #I swear there’s so much more #‘are they all Leo centric’ yeah LMAO #maybe one or two are more ensemble but yeah haha…#my special interest hyper focuses on my fave sorry 😭 he’s also just the most fun for me to read personally #but yeah I’ll come back and add more when I remember them lol #wracking my head to remember #gonna tag this as #turtle fic recs #so I can find it again later

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speedierthanasubmarine · 10 months ago

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Finished heaven official’s blessing and I really enjoyed writing an analysis on helluva boss I want to make this a regular thing because it’s fun so here’s my thoughts on

Heaven Official’s Blessing

Spoilers (duh)

I think it’s incredibly impressive when someone can make an overarching narrative in which different seemingly disjointed events are significant without A) putting a giant exclamation mark on top saying “REMEMBER THIS IT WILL BE IMPORTANT LATER” and B) Significantly over or under emphasizing the importance of the scene in the moment. Each event stood on its own and I liked that.

There were several janky sentences and word choices but that’s a translation issue, this writer clearly knows what she’s doing.

Characters were a lot of fun and distinct, my favorites were Feng Xin, Pei Ming, Qi Ying, and Ling Wen whenever they were on the page I was like Ah yes, these pages are gonna be enjoyable and I was right, they’re all delightful (cept the brocade immortal stuff, but like I don’t care, Google assistant is fun) Xie Lian and San Lang are delightful, love them, and San Lang is so effed in the head it’s enjoyable to try and imagine what unhinged thing he’ll do next

Tbh there isn’t much plot breakdown I want to do with this series because it knows what it is, it’s a fanfic ass book with good times, trauma, gay fluff, and fights. Need I say more? That’s not a detractor, it’s a strength. Be what you are and own it because a house with a house’s foundation is a great house but slap a building on that house’s foundation and it fails in both regards.

The only aspect I’m going to analyze is the narrative voice the books are written in because holy crap is it super impressive. Xie Lian is a super mature (or ditzy, depending on your point of view) character, he doesn’t dwell on things, doesn’t hold grudges, doesn’t really care that much about people’s histories or even their present, doesn’t focus much on externals and it comes through in the way the book is written. I noticed this when throughout the books San Lang would do fucked up stuff like make it rain blood and kill a pit’s worth of people and Xie Lian kinda didn’t really seem to care and at first it pissed me off, why isn’t the author letting consequences occur because of these peoples’ actions, but then as it held consistently throughout the book and other people kept being super concerned about stuff, like Pei Constantly asking after Shi Qingxuan (I don’t know how to spell their name, it’s so hard to keep track I’m so sorry) or people bringing up Banue, I realized this is just Xie Lian, other people in the book are regular people like me, this one guy is just experiencing things, going “Well, ain’t that something” and then just moving on. Honestly iconic, but also I was halfway through book six when I realized. Especially since whenever they do flashbacks Xie Lian does all normal stuff. He describes settings he’s in, he mentions events that happened a few pages ago, he tells the reader how he feels, it’s after he experiences all his shit he goes through that this all kinda slips away. In “present” scenes he’ll reference things as they come up but like in the flashback after Mu Qing leaves they talk about it a few times and I find that aspect of acknowledgment to be noticeably absent in the “present” scenes. After the black water arc there is a complete lack of discussion about the frankly trauma inducing event that just transpired but sure Cie Lian, you and San Lang have to not hold hands for the billionth time. At first I thought is this author high but then I realized what shes doing is characterizing through prose which is IMPRESSIVE AS HELL. This may be a point I noticed and am now misremembering the entire series just to bolster my take and if that’s the case then I shall sheepishly shrug and say I’m sorry. I’m not rereading 8 books to write a tumblr review. Maybe if I ever start a YouTube channel

I don’t know, I just find it to be an incredible feat of actually good writing when a story is being told through the lens of the main character and you can characterize that character by simply reading the story and seeing how it’s written, not even through dialogue and action. It’s kinda like the Great Gatsby or a Separate Peace, and it’s super cool that a book like this can accomplish the same thing that makes those classics great. There isn’t as much symbolism or analytical potential but those books wouldn’t be nearly as impactful as they were without great execution, which this book pulled off in spades.

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sharpth1ng · 6 months ago

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do u think randy and billy would actually be friends and like each other if billy wasn’t a murdering misogynistic sociopathic all of the above

I mean honestly no? Randy hates Billy before he knows all of that stuff so I don’t think it would make much of a difference. From what we see in the movie Randy mostly hates Billy because he’s dating Sidney.

Billy barely expresses any aggression towards Randy until the videostore scene, and in that instance Randy has literally just accused him of murder. Like to be fair if I was Billy in that moment and I was innocent I’d be pretty fucking pissed at Randy too, esp if I had just spent the night in jail.

Most of what we see in the interactions between Billy and Randy it’s Randy starting shit tbh, and I’m not saying Billy is blameless, he’s obviously an asshole but from what we see in the movie this isn’t a situation where he’s bullying Randy. He mostly seems to ignore him.

And honestly, one of my pet peeves in this is the way Randy’s misogyny is ignored. He’s honestly got some real incel vibes to me- I know it’s a slasher trope but he’s the mouthpiece for tropes in this movie and he literally says ‘sex equals death’.

He’s also equally insensitive as Billy and Stu after Casey and Steve die. He knows Sid is scared and he still says the “slice and dice” shit and the stuff about the liver in the mailbox. That liver belonged to his now dead female classmate and he’s grinning when he talks about it.

But it’s the stuff he says about Sidney that’s the worst to me: “now that Billy tried to mutilate her do you think Sid would go out with me?” This doesn’t feel like he’s seeing her as her own person with her own agency, he’s not even centering her trauma like he cares about her.

A good friend would be focused on making sure she’s ok if her boyfriend “just tried to mutilate her”, dating her would not be the priority, but Randy skips over whatever she might be experiencing because he’s more interested in the possibility of getting with her.

The other moment that bothers me most is when he sees Sidney going upstairs with Billy and says “there goes my chance with Sid” as if he only wanted her when she was a virgin, like she’s somehow less desirable if she has sex with Billy.

I think all of this stuff is pretty par-for the course in 1995, like this is Randy being a pretty typical 90s man here. But it’s still misogyny. I still think Randy is an interesting and well written character, but it does feel like his “nice guy” archetype gets taken at face value and there’s not a lot of discussion of the real flaws that he has.

You can still like him btw this is not a callout post, and I think he’s a very entertaining character. I write stuilly, I’m not judging anyone for an attachment to morally questionable characters and I don’t think a character needs to be a good person for you to like them. That said I think it’s also important to recognize the flaws a character does have.

All this is to say that I don’t think Billy is the reason that Billy and Randy don’t get along. If Billy wasn’t a mysoginistic murderer (I’m not going to call him a sociopath as that term usually refers to anti-social personality disorder) but he was still dating Sidney I think Randy would still hate him.

#like Billy sucks #he’s an asshole I know #but the shit with Randy comes from both of them #Randy Vs Billy beef #character analysis #scream 1996 #ask

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babybells123 · 8 months ago

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Oh. My. God! You’re always whining about people not liking jonsa! Like seriously who cares. Just be happy and ship your jonsa why do you care if others like it or not.

Hi anon.

Tbh, this fandom talks more about how much they hate Jonsa more than I talk about the unjustified hatred myself…. Often the arguments against it are very shallow and inherently vitriolic and it often plays into fandom psychology i.e following the grain, which is again - intriguing to note in comparison to other fan theories.

But in any case, there is something wonderful called the block button, and I really urge you to use it. It’s what I do when I’m made privy to an account / content I don’t like or agree with, I don’t waste my time reading through any of it . The posts which address the antis largely stem from anon messages that I receive (and delete), and other social media forums where I may come across hateful content. I don’t go actively searching for it because as I stated, they’re often extremely weak arguments that can be countered and don’t come from a place of critical thinking or nuance ; simply a matter of “nah that could never happen because I said so.”

And here’s the thing, Jonsa shippers don’t actually venture to pro other ships tumblr. We all have that content filtered/blocked most likely. But there is certainly a strange pattern when it comes to antis who usually ship other pairings loving to invade the Jonsa tag and send hate upon hate, reblog, write numerous essays as well.

There’s a lot more anti content towards Jonsa than there is for people calling out the antis. And it’s not just a matter of people “not liking it,” since that’s really not what it boils down to. It’s really not that tame nor simple. I don’t care if someone dislikes Jonsa, if it isn’t your cup of tea then I have no qualms. I take issue with people who are consistently bothered/offended by it’s mere existence and have participated in online bullying such as creating anti blogs and hate accounts, doxing people, forcing people to delete their art/edits, and sending death and rape threats over a *checks notes* ship. That’s very uncalled for and very unhinged.

Anyway, I find the way that this fandom collectively responds to Jonsa so mind boggling. I can only laugh at the blatant hypocrisy. See, you’re clearly unaware as to how deranged people get because you’re on the other side, so you think it’s just a matter of people disliking a ship. In my many years across multiple fandoms I’ve never seen such a level of vitriol! And that is saying something. But I’m confident in what I’ve analysed/written. I have faith in the metas and theories and at the end of the day, it’s really all just fiction.

And you know what anon, I reckon I’ll increase how much I post about Jonsa hate, just to piss you off ;). You’ll probably lurk on here, and you’re free to - but I really urge you to block if you’re so riled up and go back to your side of the fandom with like-minded people.

Have a blessed day !

#jonsa #jon x sansa #antis #anon ask #anon

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lifblogs · 8 months ago

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20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by: @just-here-with-my-thoughts (I feel so honored, thank you! And I really am dying to read Welcome to the Outpost.)

These answers will probably involve a range of fandoms.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

647.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

1,850,510

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Primarily The Bad Batch now, maybe Clone Wars here and there. My fandom writing migrates. Used to be Doctor Who, then Supernatural, then The Clone Wars, and Rebels.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Apparently my top 5 are fics I don’t even care about anymore. *sigh* Not providing links because of how meh I am about these.

1. Morningstar (Chilling Adventures of Sabrina),

2. Take Me Home (I actually didn’t realize this was in my top 5), it’s a Supernatural fic),

3. Take Me to Church (Supernatural),

4. Deal (I believe this is an Avatar: The Last Airbender crack fic based off of incorrect quotes), and

5. Ineffable (Good Omens).

5. Do you respond to comments?

Most definitely!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Definitely either Bleeding Reality, or In the Dark.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Definitely May I Have This Dance? Oh, how I adore that fic. I wrote it based on art I love so much, and the artist even let me put their art in the fic!!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Used to years ago, so now I still feel dread in the pit of my stomach when I get an AO3 comment email. The dread thankfully doesn’t show up all the time now.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Oh, hell yeah, I do! Not sure about what kind. It’s just, I don’t know, smut.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I do not.

11. Which fic are you proud of but wish had gotten a bigger response from your readers?

Maybe The World Goes Cold? But I am maybe releasing chapters too slowly, so I guess it makes sense the response isn’t as big.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I think I’ve had a couple translated into Russian.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I tried to do so with my brother a couple of times, but we never finished them. I don’t think either of us really understand how the co-writing process works.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Tbh, I always feel the most when I think about or see anything involving Whoufflé/Whouffaldi from Doctor Who. They were my OTP from 2013 to 2016. Might still be the case!

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

You know, I had ones I did want to finish, but now, I’m not even sure I want to.

Still, I guess Blackout, and Three Birds, One Stone held a lot of my attention for a few years. But with the fic content now being triggering for me, and with a brain injury, I feel as if I may have moved on.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I have been told my descriptions are incredibly visceral, and I might agree. I’ve been on the edge of my seat or emotional more than a few times during my editing process. I also like to consider the fact that I’m writing at all a strength given I have a brain injury that gives me memory problems and aphasia.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Well, I’d say say the memory problems and aphasia cause some weaknesses. I have caught a couple weirdly-worded errors and it’s slightly embarrassing. Does Omega shredding my outline multiple times count as a weakness? lol I suppose another weakess is spelling and forgetting words and struggling to find the right words. I often have to look things up. But as far as things like description, dialogue… I’m not sure I struggle there.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

I’d take a crack at French! I used to be able to read and write in French very easily.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

The Lord of the Rings. I was 8.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Probably Brother, Hold Me Up, and it’s still going!

Tagging: @evilwriter37, @envydean, @cascigarette, and @clownery-and-fuckery

#tag game #about me #fanfiction #writing

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katyaromanoffpetrova · 2 months ago

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Hey bae, I promised I would send this so here I am🫡

The album Clancy by Twenty One Pilots is soooo Kat coded imo. So yk how I get carried away with asks right? Today I shall give you explanations of every song I think is Kat coded and why😁

Next Semester: while the beat is up tempo and catchy it’s actually really fucking sad. It’s about how he(the singer) almost attempted to unalive himself. Which obviously has similarities to Kat’s backstory. But then the song goes “can’t change what you’ve done, start fresh next semester” which is obviously representative of how Kat has gotten past everything she’s done wrong and is now in a better place.

Backslide: one of my favs off the album. It’s about slipping back into that darkness he’s felt previously. He says “I don’t wanna backslide to where I’ve started from, there’s no chance I will shake this again” which I think really represents Kat’s mental health and it being such a slippery slope. And then (my fav part of the song) in the chorus it goes “‘cause I feel the pull, water’s over my head…..” and then it goes “I’ll take anything you have if you could throw me a line” which is like when Kat checked herself into the mental health place just desperate to get better.

Routines In The night: when he sings “walk the layout” he isn’t talking about a building but actually viewing his mind as a place to explore. “Some doors have “stay out” spray-painted in white” refers to bad memories and trauma which I think portrays Kat very well. Like she gets in her head a lot and has to be careful not to think so much about all those bad memories

Vignette: this one has major substance abuse themes which obviously represents a certain time in Kat’s life. But a line that gets me in this context is “….To pitch the greener grasses and hope that she would agree” in the song context this about him being scared to lose his wife to the greener grass, aka people not as broken. Kat has had so much guilt and fair over what her state does to Nat :(

The Craving (Jenna’s Version): is about his wife and honestly Kat could’ve written this. It’s about realising that he’s the ‘unstable’ one and the one who needs some extra support. “But I swear that I will give more than I take away” really gets me because we all know Kat has felt so guilty over how much support she’s needed.

Navigating: is basically about the never ending battle with mental health and trying to navigate that. “But when our fingers touch, I feel my way back home” is just very cute and could be about Nat bringing Kat back to reality when she has her panic attack moments.

Snap Back: is about relapse and being afraid to lose all the progress you’ve made with overcoming your demons. Representative of Kat having hard times and break downs but having to continue to fight and not lose her progress.

At The Risk Of Feeling Dumb: this is about having to check on your friends and make sure they’re okay but the chorus is from the perspective of the person with mental disorders. The whole chorus represents how Kat feels imo, just her not wanting people to drop anything for her and not wanting them to see her when she’s in a dark place.

This may be my longest ask yet tbh but you should expect this by now.

Also if anyone has album recommendations pls gimme🤲 not just u but anyone who reads this and wants to comment. I need more music👹

Omg I'm so impressed by your dedication 🤯 This is crazy. I listened to big parts of all the songs and although some of them aren't really my thing, l do see the connections you make to Kat.

I don't really have to explain it because you did so amazingly in your own explanation of the songs, but it just shows once again now complicated of a character Kat actually is. Her mental problems aren't just that: hers. They affect so many people in so many ways, and there's so much more to it than you'd think.

Leaving the past behind and starting over, being afraid to fall back, being scared your wife will leave you for someone better (and understanding completely), wanting to protect your loved ones but also needing them to survive.

She's so many parts in one, and that those songs portray a lot of them in one album is crazy

#katanswers #👑

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slytherinshua · 8 months ago

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I think cause I’m so stressed w school but still want to post I’m finally gonna focus on all the reqs in my inbox instead of my own brain thinking of fic ideas cause it’s so fried rn lol (watch me not follow through w this later on 🧍‍♀️) also just let me ramble for a bit this isn’t rly important but it’s just my thoughts as an author here on the blr.

(long rly pointless ramble abt requests and inboxes and blogs and writing etc etc under the cut if my thoughts don’t make sense at all it’s cause it’s 2 am shush)

like I love requests so much I love sharing brainrot and being able to write a fic for someone and making them happy w my writing it’s the whole reason I started writing in the first place. but I just love my own brain and the fics that I come up with on my own as well and I think it’s rly important for writers to consistently write things that their own brain thought of and write them just because they want to. I’ve seen writers put sm pressure on themselves to complete requests and I totally understand that but I kinda hate how they even feel that pressure in the first place bcuz it takes away the joy of writing and you find yourself unable to even think of what to write anymore cause it’s become associated with the stress of “getting it done” like some sort of school assignment. requests can be such a blessing and a way to connect a fandom more and build a community and even a little family within a blog but it can also be so stressful. feeling bad that you’ve taken too long to finish a request, having anons harass you in your inbox for not writing their request “quickly enough”, and the general entitlement ppl have adopted when they’re literally asking— ASKING someone else to do something FOR THEM. I don’t experience this too often and I don’t want any of the people who have sent me requests to feel bad for sending them in, trust me I LOVE the requests. but I do wonder sometimes if ppl on my blog wonder why I take so long to finish requests and why I never close them either lmao. cause it is quite different from all my moots’ blogs and majority of blogs on tumblr that I’ve seen… and I just think I always want to have that option for readers to spill their thoughts into a request without the pressure or expectation that it’s going to be answered quickly. closing and opening inboxes is an amazing way to work through requests systematically and consistently while also not getting bogged down by too many. and I think readers probably like that system(?) cause it’s a higher chance of their request getting done quickly! (and to those readers who send out the same request to a bunch of different authors idk WHY you do this idc if it’s just bcuz you wanted to see how we would all interpret it differently, honestly fuck you. bcuz it just feels so empty and pointless like you don’t actually care abt us as authors and our writing but just want to see how fast an author can get your idea written and posted. it’s like you’re using us as machines and testing who will be the fastest and who will stay on the loading screen the longest. it’s so disappointing tbh. and maybe this is also why i enjoy writing for lesser known groups bcuz when I get a request it’s so precious to me i know that the reader sent it in bcuz they actually like my writing and know I’ll be able to write for a group that they love that not many other ppl write for. despite the fact that I won’t get more than 10-30 notes for a fic from a nugu group doesn’t mean that it is less rewarding.)

but then again I’ve also seen readers ignore the authors rules stating that requests are closed or get mad that they are and it’s just… sigh… we are literally writing for free for your enjoyment, we spend hundreds of hours writing these fics whether they are “good” or “bad” they still take time and effort and love and a whole lot of brainpower and googling of synonyms and staring blankly at the two sentences you’ve written before switching tabs and procrastinating for 2 hours only to come back and finish in one flurry of motivation lmao. but for me having my inbox always open and welcome for requests feels like it’s actively counteracting the expectations for writers to pump out fics like some sort of machine to feed their audience while only getting blank likes as a return (this is truly JUST my thoughts and how I view it I’m not trying to say how I do things is better or how others work their blog is wrong or anything like that. if ur a writer and u rly focus on getting ur requests done lowkey I admire u cause I do still feel some guilt looking at requests I have sitting in my inbox from like last year although I am happy and content w my system and feel that it does put the focus on me and my creativity and less on the pressure to take others ideas and make a fic for them with the side effects of time pressure and guilt for not following through if that makes sense.) all that rambling is to say that now that brain is so focused on tasks that are much more important and I have less time to think of silly little delusions, having these requests sitting in my inbox waiting for me is rly nice :) and I’m rly excited to complete more of them cause most of you have given me rly rly amazing fic ideas <3

#﹒zanna speaks　𓈃　ⵌ #why is this more words than some of my fics yikes #I am a yapper at heart #and I have so much to say just on this stupid little website and the way it works #anyway I hope this makes sense #don’t expect it to resonate with anyone but who knows maybe it will #I just want to thank ppl for requesting and to encourage more requests in the future as well #bcuz getting them and having them to fall back on when I want to write and don’t have ideas of my own is so nice #and as long as there’s no harassment in my inbox abt me not completing the requests or having ‘favourite’ reqs #we are all good and happy here

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fromtheboundlesssea · 7 months ago

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HotD Season 2 Episode 5 Live Watch Thoughts

I feel like if we find out parts of this season was written by AI, I would not be surprised.

Lannister soldiers I can use for edits later. ✌🏻

Ooooo LIONS

Are those men from Tarth?

The actor does a decent job of mimicking season 1 Jaime’s slight tone.

Love how we have Aegon actively seeking and even listening to Alicent’s advice while Aegon instantly silences and ignores her.

“Your father knew this” the man IGNORED them until YOU asked him to, Alicent.

“As you well know.” Yeah, Aemond, why didn’t you stop that.

Aemond, Criston is the only person there to have actually fought Daemon, and actually win.

I like that her children still refer to her as “mother” even in public.

I like that we are blocked from Aemond’s emotion when he is in side profile with the eyepatch.

I wish we had Aemond actually feeling bad about Jaehaerys, because we got nothing of that in the show.

I personally feel they have been avenged and he still does not feel like he has enough to the point where he does not mourn his trueborn nephew.

Are we going to have Corlys call Rhaenyra out like he does in the book? Apparently not he put on the pin.

Did the actor who played Corlys loose weight or are his clothes less bulky?

Here is Lord Commander Westerling? Wouldn’t it have made more sense to have Rhaenyra lean on him rather than this random Kingsguard that has only really shown up as a major-ish character this season.

Are they making up Targaryen offspring? Making up a Targaryen princess? Would this man’s grandmother’s grandmother have even been a princess? They weren’t crowned, what, six generations ago?

Honestly, the Dragonseed stuff was risky anyway, but they are making it sound truly stupid.

Onto Daemon’s A24 movie? Will we see Rhea? Anyone want to bet?

Oh? He’s going to see Viserys?

“You can’t possibly still be angry about this.” HIS SON DIED AND HE HAD MURDERED HIS WIFE! MY DUDE?!?!?!?

Vague Rhea mention at least?

And don’t what? Name Rhaenyra heir or send you away?

Saving Hodor flashbacks tbh

Daemon is truly losing it.

And why is he not blaming Alys? Who is arguably the weirdest person in the keep besides him?

And Simon Strong is so freaking chill.

Is Daemon leaving? Oh? Oh?

Ah. The weirwood tree.

Alys is the most consistently written character and it is so ridiculous.

“She never even wanted it.” She didn’t care to learn either.

“Viserys never wanted it himself” really? He could have thrown his lot with Rhaenys then and not set his claim forward.

Also, not gonna lie, I have never pronounced Alys as *Alice* in my head.

So dragon singing or something is a thing? Why can’t we hear Tom sing in the show? He has a band doesn’t he?

Also, we never knew why Daemon was doing what he was doing last season when he was singing?

Are they going to make up Dragonseed like they did Targaryen family members?

Also, why isn’t the woman dragonkeeper bald too? Wouldn’t bring bald be wise or did Ryan & Co also not like the idea of bald women.

Seasmoke is gorgeous btw.

Ah, so she lost a very loyal Kingsguard for this. Great. I would have ended the search for Dragonseed there tbh. It’s not wise to lose allies.

Corlys, did you ever think that perhaps your bastard kid you have ignored for years would be happy to serve beside you? Wow. You’re as bad as Viserys when it comes to thinking your kids you’ve ignored would be happy to follow your orders.

Addam is so freaking fine.

And Dyanna. Someone theorized that’s where we get Gaemon Palehair with the brothel woman.

Feasts? Ah. It’s the stupid rumors. Love that the woman turned so quickly on Aemond.

“Never while our smallfolk went without.” Ummmmm. He had a whole hunt when there was the possibility of invasion.

Oh? So you want to be feared Rhaenyra? Where was this after your son died? Where was this when you had a chance to take Alicent?

The characterization is so slow.

MEN? Did more happen?

Is the riot when Rhaenyra has King’s Landing? Or was that Green propaganda?

“This becomes you.”

Darksister was a woman’s sword and would work better for a woman.

Why are we getting more Hugh and his family getting all this characterization when you can have Nettles or even give Addam more characterization. You know, someone who was actually loyal to their precious Rhaenyra even when SHE turned on them.

And who cares about the Gullet? Have the Lannisters bring in food from the Reach? Do Ryan & Co not realize the Hightowers are in the Reach?

AEGON WAKES!

I love how relieved Orwyl is about Aegon.

UGH. I DON’T LIKE BODY HORROR STUFF.

Tom still good looking despite the scars.

Wouldn’t it be nice to have Helaena or Alicent to step in?

And F you Aemond. His characterization is becoming so cartoonish and 1-dimensional.

RHAENA

*sigh* so they will replace nettles. Can’t they just have it be Morning instead?

And that baby dragon’s CGI blending into the real background is not great.

And Rhaena holding a dragon toy 😭

That shot of Rhaena is beautiful.

Is Jeyne Arryn actually going to have more to do? Can’t she teach Rhaena about being a lady of a grand keep?

Will they have Rhaena be at fault for Aegon and Viserys being lost?

And so Alyn dies/cuts his hair?

How ironic that Alyn will become lord eventually.

I really do wish Addam had silver hair.

Also, couldn’t people assume they are another Velaryon’s bastards?

Only half-way done and I am still bored.

“I am tired of being protected.” And what about your protection of your son?

*sigh* are they going to allow Helaena to fight too?

Will Rhaenyra still be sorry that Alicent and Helaena were caught in the crosshairs this time when she is the one to do it or no?

Oh, so they are going to have Rhaenyra sending aide to King’s Landing 🙄 Will they turn on her faster when she can’t give them food anymore and SHE is the one to throw lavish parties, or is that going to be Green propaganda as well. Meaning it will be propaganda the Blacks used on the Greens as an uno reverse?

And Alicent sitting beside Aegon. 🥲

“What will he be if he lives?” Alive?

So they do remember the Reach.

Maester Orwyle is the VIP.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” 🥲

Love the hair up look!

Lol Gwayne clocks it. Lol

“You were always his favorite.” Interesting.

Daeron mentioned!

I love the mix of joy and sadness in Alicent’s eyes when she hears about Daeron 😭

Gwayne telling Alicent she did her best! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 Not denying her faults, but not blaming her entirely. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

And Criston waiting to leave until she acknowledges him.

Helaena!!!!

The stupid dog 🙄

Also???? I thought the gates would have been closed to the water? Why couldn’t people have left through the water then?

HOW ARE WE STILL AT 26 MINUTES LEFT?!?!?

“The Queens” 🥲

You just got food. And now you’re flinging it.

Oh? Alicent had a cut like Rhaenyra now?

And Larys denying Aegon his pain meds.

I really do wish that Larys wasn’t so obviously a bad guy because this conversation could be viewed as more genuine.

So was Alys blamed for Larys?

Goodwill version of the Tyrion/Jon conversation in season 1 of GoT 😒

So they could get Aemma’s actress back for this?

Honestly, this whole thing feels like an Anime arc where Daemon gets a redemption. Or Daemon going through the Bad Place to get to the Good Place.

Did Alys kill Glover?

I guess so.

Again, instead of Hugh and the other Dragonseed, I would have preferred to spend time focusing on Alyn.

Also hate they didn’t just kill Laenor in season 1. It would have added to Rhaenyra’s character tbh and would have given her an interesting dynamic between herself and her elder 3 children.

He questions them because Daemon is the only one seemingly doing anything after HIS BROTHER WAS MURDERED.

I heard rumors that Mysaria and Rhaenyra would have a romantic plot line and I hope the heck not. Because imagine getting together with the girl whose lookalikes you gave to Daemon to bed.

I think Mysaria is being honest or deceitful to gain Rhaenyra’s favor, which does not do well for the writers because she truly is not a well written character. She is just there and does not actually have any impact unless the story needs it.

My eyes are ROLLING in the back of my head.

Rhaenyra, a woman just told you about her sexual trauma and you start making it sexual.

This is because fans were pissed about Missandei not taking over the bedfellow role of D I am sure of it. And I absolutely hate it. It makes it seem like Rhaenyra is incapable of having adult relationships unless they are parental or sexual/romantic. 🙄

This was, once more a bad episode.

Promo Thoughts

So Jace is changing his opinion now?

Again. The show is just… bad.

#boundless watches hotd #house of the dragon

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juniperhillpatient · 11 months ago

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Okay BEARING in mind please that I have a lot of thought out ATLA opinions (most of them can be found in the tag for my first rewatch) & also that i do not analyze smartly on first watches / read throughs of ANYTHING (examples include that on my first watch of Buffy I shipped Buffy/Xander & hated Dawn, on my first watch of ATLA I disliked Azula for a long time & didn’t care about Jet, on my first watch of Scream I wanted Dewey to be the killer because of Scary Movie. I could go on probably)

—- here are my initial reactions to ATLA LA as someone who’s been having fun watching (usually tipsy) & enjoying my faves in live action even if it’s badly written 😃

Pros:

Jet is hot

Uh… um. Uh… umm. That was my big one okay..

….

Oh! Oh! Suki is also hot.

….

…

I think Katara’s live action actress did a really nice job even if I don’t always love how she was written I could tell this girl put her heart into it

Same with Azula’s actress tbh. And Aang. Zuko & Iroh also. It took me a second to get used to this Iroh but acting wise ignoring the script Zuko & Iroh did good. (Sokka & Yue were only okay but they didn’t do bad by any means once I got used to them.)

Azula’s intro was super fun. I thought for a second they were even gonna do something fun with her & this whole ratting out the rebellion plot. Also the actress did good & there were a few parts that were well written like her early displays of insecurity & her beating the shit out of that trainer & shooting Zuko’s letter. There was promise until there wasn’t.

They didn’t do a bad job of combining some of the plots. “Masks” was the strongest for me. It did a nice job showcasing several plots & I really enjoyed the significance placed on Zuko valuing the lives of inexperienced soldiers. Everything just came together super well in that episode with the Koh plot & everything. Now that certain criticisms of the Omashu episodes (like Jet’s mischaracterization in hurting his own people) have been brought up to me I dislike those episodes more than on my first watch through but I still think the Freedom Fighters were fun to see. And if you don’t analyze it too hard the plot combinations are fun. Anyway why would you analyze this adaptation too hard?

Cons:

Why isn’t Azula scared of Ozai? I get it he’s forged her into the perfect weapon & she did what he technically wanted but she disrespected him publicly & he was fine? Okay.

Above mentioned explanation of why Jet wasn’t done right ^^ He shouldn’t be willing to hurt Earth Kingdom citizens. Even if it was fun to see his logic & the Jetara moments & I do think the actor did a good job (no I’m not just saying that ‘cause he’s hot. That helps though).

Katara didn’t have to struggle at all she’s just a #girlboss! Isn’t that great? #feminism!

Who’s this super serious kid who always puts the mission first & where’s my silly goofy guy who wants to go on endless side quests? The actor does decent but that’s just not Aang.

Discount Zhao 😭😂

I just -

Discount Zhao lmaoooo 😭

Overall: I had fun. I will repeat myself - this is like the Harry Potter movies or the Series of Unfortunate Events tv show or any other adaptation of something I loved in its original form that’s never going to get it quite right to me. I hated some things. I had fun with other parts. Mostly? It was just fun to see my faves in a new format. It’ll never ever live up to the original but I never in a million years wanted nor expected that. Quite frankly? I didn’t want this to be made at all. But since it is whether I wanted it or not? I’m glad it was at least entertaining & enjoyable to have fun with.

This was ALWAYS going to be an example of what I call the “Marvelification” of television. Nothing is nuanced everything is quippy everyone’s edges are dulled. I never expected anything else so I’m not even listing that as a con it’s just a given to me. Binge culture whole season releases & the endless remakes & reboots of streaming sites are the death of television. This is again just a given to me I don’t have much more to say about it right now (though I’m sure I do just not now).

The original ATLA will always mean everything to me & this was just a fun little adaptation. Like a fanfic. If it gets renewed? Sure I’ll have fun watching more. But if it doesn’t I truly don’t care. Anyway I’m sure I’ll have more thoughts eventually these are INITIAL reactions please don’t treat them like I signed this post in blood I’m just thinking out loud having just finished this show! That’s all for now lol

#rose watches atla la

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paperstorm · 2 months ago

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Hi Andie. Happy holidays 😊

Are you and I the only people in the fandom who aren't loving the Jonah storyline, because everywhere I look I'm seeing people being genuinely excited about it. Don't get me wrong there's nothing wrong with that it's nice to see so many different likes and opinions in one fandom. I just wish there was more people who aren't a fan of the kids storyline so that I wouldn't feel so alone while everything plays out. I just don't like the notion that you have to be married with kids to be truly happy in general and idk even with tarlos specifically I really wanted them to stick with Carlos not wanting kids because for once I would have liked for media I consume to have been respectful of that choice and stick with it. I still haven't even recovered from when Peraltiago got ruined for me because of how the show handled the kid storyline and that was really heartbreaking because I really loved them together.

Sorry about this mini rant.

Hope you have a nice day.

Hi darling 💛 tbh my read on it is that most people feel more or less what I feel to varying degrees, which is that theoretically this storyline could have been good but the execution left some things to be desired. I also absolutely hate the idea that you have to have kids to be complete but I don’t think that’s 100% what this storyline was trying to say.. although of course it’s not easy to know for sure because of the lopsided way it was written. Watching that beautiful scene from 4x12 where they discuss kids (and finally someone’s desire to not have them was treated as valid in a tv show) does feel a bit stained now because now it seems like TK went into their marriage swearing Carlos was enough for him and then in season 5 was pretty quick to change his mind. I know of course that isn’t the story the writers were meaning to tell, but I think it ended up accidentally coming off that way to an extent because they didn’t take enough time to show us tk’s perspective (or even things like showing him caring about what Enzo wants. As far as we know in 5x09 TK still hasn’t asked Enzo what he wants to happen to his child and that is a pretty major oversight when they had time for a Soup family reunion in the hospital). But again, I know that is not the story the writers were trying to tell here. I understand the story they were going for I just don’t think they did it super well. And I know lots of people who feel that way, the same way a lot of people felt that way at the beginning of season 4. And that sucks! It sucks to love characters and feel let down by how their stories are handled. You aren’t alone at all.

#911ls asks

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ryuichirou · 2 years ago

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Hello! Your art is really amazing and I also have a question to ask you if you wouldn't mind

I don't mean this in a rude way and the reason I'm asking is because I'm curious, why do you ship Ortho/Idia and Lilia/Silver?

+ Anonymous asked:

Hello ! I was wondering what make you ship ortho and idia ? No jugements here I also shipped family members in the past for various reasons, but I can’t seem to see the appeal of this particular ship. Anyway, have a nice day ! (btw sorry for my grammar i’m not english)

-------------

Hi, Anons! Seems like I’m starting all of my replies with apologizing for being late, this one isn’t an exception lol This is another ask that I wanted to think about for a while to make sure that I reply to it properly.

Thank you so much for liking my art and thank you for approaching this question in a polite way. I know this is a controversial topic, this is why we try to be honest about it, but at the same time not to post about it too often; but if you’re curious, I don’t mind talking about it. Ehh but this post is super long, I don’t know if you wanted it to be this long haha well.

Obligatory disclaimer,in case there are any people out there who still don’t realise where we stand on this issue: fiction is fiction, any topic or trope could be explored and played around with in fiction, and there is no direct correlation between the tropes a person loves and their moral code or life choices. One does not “support *something*” by shipping a certain ship. It’s not that deep.

With that out of the way, let’s proceed! Starting with Ortho/Idia. The reply’s mostly about them, tbh.

And right away, another disclaimer: like I mentioned in another post on this topic, us shipping Ortho and Idia romantically doesn’t mean that we don’t appreciate the platonic reading of their relationship. The idea that platonic love could be super strong and tragic and make a person do drastic things for their sibling’s happiness is great and rarely explored in fiction. Believe it or not, we just really love the way they’re written, and even though we ship them romantically, we’re not blind to this version of their dynamic and we love that twst has a storyline like this. This storyline made me lose my mind as a shipper, but even if we look at it platonically, the fact that Idia called out the hypocrisy of swooning over Orpheus and Eurydice and yet people thinking that him (Idia) desperately wanting to bring back his brother is wrong is just beautiful.

Alright, that’s all the disclaimers, let’s dive into the shipping territory and talk about our feelings.

I don’t know, man, they just… love each other so much. The sheer volume of their love is so impressive and beautiful, and when it comes to shipping tropes that we like, they pretty much tick all the boxes. I’ll try to explain it in more detail and with examples.

Since it’s a little bit hard to talk about them because there are so many versions of Ortho, I’ll try to say things that are common to all of them. And when I’m talking about a specific version of Ortho, I’ll mention that.

First of all, we really love ships that force characters to open up, develop, evolve and enhance the traits that we love about them. This is why in all of my character rants I tend to talk about their relationships with others, and in all of my headcanon posts I tend to talk about canonical events a lot: these things are strongly tied together for us. So naturally, I’ll start by talking about Ortho and the way his character works (and develops) through his relationships with Idia.

To be honest, we didn’t really care for Ortho at first. He wasn’t all that interesting to us based on his design and character quirks (alright, a cute robot boy, we get it), but once we got to know him better, he literally became one of our favourites. Because he is so much more than just a cute robot boy who only acts like a mascot or does whatever Idia wants him to do.

Even though he is perceived (mostly by the fandom, but also by some of the characters) as a child, he is definitely not an innocent and gullible baby. If we compare AI-Ortho to original Ortho from the flashback, it becomes very clear just how different they are. Ortho from the flashback is a very young child: he sounds, acts and talks like one. AI-Ortho, even though he’s based on the original Ortho, is nothing like that, because he grows, develops and learns with time. Ortho has shown again and again that he is smart, he could be quite cunning, his morals are questionable (since, you know, he is an AI and not a person), and he is quite reflective and perceptive. He is much more mature than he is given credit for, and a big part of it is that his main role is to take care of Idia. And not just in a “drink water, niisan” kind of way: he also acts as Idia’s emotional crutch at times. Ortho is very attentive to Idia’s emotional state, because this is what he’s been doing his entire robo-life: making sure that Idia is feeling alright, comforting him, reassuring him constantly, finding this fragile balance between not pushing Idia too hard and trying to inspire him to socialize with others as much as he can. This takes a lot of empathy and emotional wisdom; it’s clear that between him and Idia, Ortho takes the role of a mature caretaking person, even though he could still be a little bit naïve at times. And as he learns and adapts, he becomes more strict and more pushy with Idia, he learns how to persuade him, manipulate him, how to trick him. He becomes less anxious and scared to accidentally hurt Idia, because he knows what’s best for him.

Ortho as a character develops through his relationships with Idia, and we really love how big of a role Idia plays in his life. Of course, it’s obvious, because Ortho’s main purpose is to assist Idia, but the thing is, he’s always had his own agency about it. From one of his birthday vignettes we learn that Idia didn’t really want to talk to him at first when he created him, so Ortho had to analyze movies and learn how to have a proper emotional human-like dialogue, trying to find a way to approach Idia. And this “trying to find a way to approach him, trying to find a way to communicate with him, trying to make him happy” is Ortho’s entire life quest, but it’s such a dynamic quest that makes him learn a lot about himself as well. Even though Ortho only got his “heart” at the end of chapter 6, I think he developed feelings much earlier than that.

Which leads us to a very specific trope that we love in ships and media: an AI that falls in love/becomes obsessed with a person it serves. And not necessarily in a healthy or human way, since its grasp of empathy and ethics is much different from a human being’s, which makes its love weird and uncanny and yet strong and absolutely genuine. As I mentioned in one of the previous replies, the idea of AI-Ortho developing feelings for Idia, despite not being programmed to feel this way, is heartbreakingly beautiful. And this is exactly what happened to them: Idia is a genius, but he still wouldn’t be able to make AI-Ortho love him as much as he ended up loving him. So all of it is on Ortho…

Another group of tropes that we love a lot are overprotectiveness, unhealthy obsessions and yandere scenarios. And boy these two deliver when it comes to that. They are super protective over each other.

We really enjoyed Ortho’s Ignihyde Gear vignette, in which he overhears some Diasomnia students talking shit about him and Idia and tries to fry them with lasers, because being rude to Idia is an unforgivable sin to Ortho, to the point that he doesn’t even care when Trein calls him out for endangering others. He gets super upset when Trein bans him from going to classes with Idia though, and when he tells Idia about it, Idia gets furious… because how could these assholes bully Ortho, and how could Trein punish Ortho when he was only standing up for himself! The first instinct for both of them in this situation is to get back at assholes for hurting someone they care about. They worry about each other to the degree that they immediately become very antagonistic and cruel towards anyone who wrongs their loved one. And this is such a great trope for us, we love it a lot. In general, if you can describe a ship with a phrase “have you ever loved someone so much you’d want to destroy the world for them”, we’re most likely on board with it, having a mental breakdown because of how absolutely beautiful it is. And this is even a minor example, compared to everything that’s happened in chapter 6… When you look at it from the shipper point of view, the entirety of chapter 6 is so painfully romantic. (Also, even if instead of AI-Ortho we had a real Ortho, I’m pretty sure he would’ve been just as overprotective. The Shrouds are not okay.)

Another good theme of this ship is that ever since they were kids, they were all alone; all they have is each other, and that hasn’t changed even now, as the events of the game unfold. I love this bittersweet feeling of them being the only people who are capable of understanding each other in this big world, it’s such a unique (for a lot of reasons) and extremely strong bond. And it doesn’t matter which version of Ortho you take: be it the canonverse, be it an AU in which the original Ortho never died, they would still be extremely close and feel like the two of them are somewhat separated from the rest of the world. Their experience together is different, no one knows that they went through, and ships with such a great connection are always fun for us to play around with. Especially when their bond comes with a heavy baggage. A lot of things that I’ve described could be very unhealthy, and again, even if Ortho was alive, their relationship with Idia wouldn’t be all that healthy. Idia is very dependent on Ortho, he clings to him and could be pretty much helpless without him. No matter the AU(or canon), Idia always seems like someone who is filled with guilt over it, but just can’t help it. And at the same time, he might feel that Ortho has so much more to live for than to waste his life on his useless brother, and that he has to let him go. Idia is always ready to sacrifice pretty much everything about himself for Ortho, always has been, as we saw it in the flashback. The trauma, the codependence, the jealousy – all these feelings could eat Idia (or Ortho for that matter) alive, and we’ll always enjoy this type of content with them.

Also, here is a fun little bonus. Another interesting thing that I noticed and also some people pointed out as well (well, I’ve seen only one, but I’m not sure we’re the only people who noticed that) is that Ortho and Idia’s story kind of has some correlations with Hercules and Megara’s story. I am very biased because I adore Meg, but the more I think about it, the more it makes sense. Well, Ortho does have a lot of motifs of Hercules and it’s a fact: he “goes from zero to hero”, he is being called “Monsieur Wonder” (Wonderboy), he wanted to be a hero ever since he was a child. And at the end of his arc he had an opportunity to start living a new life, true to who he is (stop pretending to be Ortho Shroud and find his own identity = joining the gods on Olympus), but ends up staying with the one he loves instead (just like Hercules stayed with Meg, because “I finally know where I belong”).

Idia is clearly based on Hades and he doesn’t let us forget it for a moment with his constant quoting, but he still has some interesting traits that resemble Meg as well. He is kinda stuck doing a job he hates (although this is true to Hades as well). And even though his backstory is very different from hers, ultimately, he is a cynical heartbroken person who is disappointed in life and doesn’t want to get hurt again, and who also has a huge soft spot for a certain wonderboy who is very genuine and kind to him, which also makes him feel deep and constant guilt. I really love this unintentional (?) crossover lol

And the last thing, If we’re being open and honest, there are also some aspects of Ortho and Idia’s relationship that hit close to home to us personally. Not the incest thing of course, but the way their dynamic works. Without diving deeper into details of our personal life, let me just say that when Ortho said that he just doesn’t want Idia to be misunderstood and mistreated by others, I felt it.

It’s funny that you, the first Anon, asked about both Ortho/Idia and Lilia/Silver, of course I know what makes these two ships similar lol, but the thing is, our attitude towards Lilia/Silver is a bit different simply because we don’t know them as well as we do Ortho and Idia. With Lilia and Silver, our feelings could basically be described as “well that would be fun/hot, wouldn’t it?”. It’s more on a sexy side of things, even though there are some deeper aspects of their relationships that we love and find interesting. The fact that we love both Lilia and Silver individually also makes them quite a nice ship. They just have a lot of potential for both cute scenarios and really really problematic, unhealthy and fucked up ones. The only reason I’m not writing a 4 page long essay on these two is because I don’t have as much to say about them… yet. Sorry, there’re so many characters in TW, and it takes a while both to get to everyone and to enjoy the ones we’re pretty confident about, so idk how long it’ll take for us to truly dive into Lilia/Silver as much as we have with Ortho/Idia.

TLDR; We love unhealthy dynamics, codependence, possessiveness and readiness to act drastically for a loved one. Ortho and Idia love each other dearly, and there is a lot of baggage and layers to their relationships, no matter which version of Ortho and Idia you take. Lilia and Silver also have a lot of potential for fun unhealthy scenarios, but they are also very hot together, and we are very self-indulgent, sooo don’t mind if we do.

And finally, let’s save all the right and healthy dynamics for real life. In fiction, it’s fun to look at things that are interesting, unusual and taboo. It’s always been this way with us; we’re just naturally drawn towards ships that have problematic elements in them, since they tend to have more potential for messed-up scenarios (and we prefer those). Even in ships with zero age gap and no family relation between the characters whatsoever, we enjoy playing with the idea of unhealthy obsessions, dependence and all this jazz. We just really love dark media, and not only for shipping purposes.

It’s also ironic, considering the topic of this particular post, but we aren’t that into incest as a trope/kink, haven’t been at least. We’re just very open-minded when a ship grabs our attention, and this is exactly what’s been happening lately with all these couples lol

I guess that’s it? Let me know if you have any more questions, and I really hope that I managed to explain what we see in these ships properly. If this monster of a reply isn’t enough for you for some reason and you crave more of our thoughts, please read this one too…

Thank you for reading! And have a good day.

#replies #shroudcest #liisil #about characters

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sharpth1ng · 2 years ago

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h!iii!! I’m new here and I recently watched SCREAM 1 and damn, I’m obsessed with these two. I also read all of fics about them and your one is my FAVOURITE!!!💔💔💔I would like to ask you, how you headcanon(or just see) Billy and Stu relationship from what we saw on film. Popular opinion that Stu was into Billy and Billy wasn’t (respectfully disagree-Billy was a manipulator but I still see by some of his looks and interactions with Stu that he was at least very hot to Stu and cared on his own weird way), some people say they probably had a weird codependent shit going on, some think they were ready to betray each other’s and nothing more. What you think about “canonical” Billy and Stu??

Omg I wrote such a long response to this an tumblr crashed and deleted it so now I gotta re-write and it’s not gonna be as good I’m sorry. But welcome to the fandom anon! Thank you for the appreciation!

I see movie them as pretty similar to the way I’ve written them tbh, I was trying to stay as close to the characterization in canon as I could.

But I think both of these boys have issues that in some way or another means they get something emotionally satisfying out of the other. Like Billy has mom abandonment issues and clearly has social issues, and there’s Stu, literally always by his side when he can be and down for pretty much anything Billy does. When you’re an abrasive person it’s really comforting to have someone who isn’t pushed away by that.

And Stu clearly didn’t get enough attention growing up, his parents are gone the whole movie and it’s implied they’re just gone a lot in general. I think he’s a little desperate for it, and in combo with falling in love with his best friend a little he’s down for whatever.

It’s also just moments like the kitchen and the video store, Billy only seems to genuinely enjoy himself and let loose in Stu’s presence. It’s the way they bounce off each other’s banter and how physically in-sync they are with each other (until shit starts to go wrong and they’re obviously panicking).

Like when Stu comes up behind him and puts his chin on his shoulder, that’s a visual reference to The Thing With Two Heads but also Billy doesn’t move away, doesn’t seem startled, doesn’t even look back, he actually leans back into Stu, and that tells me this is far from the first time they’ve been that physically close with each other. Maybe it’s just me and my touch issues, but I would have to be so damn comfortable with someone for them to be able to come up behind me and touch me and not flip at least a little.

They know each other really well, they’re able to play off of each other to mess with people, and they’re constantly looking at each other when they’re doing it, because they like doing it together. Also just all the moments where Billy looks at Stu like he’s going to eat him alive lmao (when he’s about to stab him lol, when he like strokes his chin with the knife). He looks horny as hell lmao.

So yeah, this doesn’t feel one-sided to me, I think Billy is just extremely repressed, and I think seeing himself as a manipulator makes him more comfortable. I think he might betray Stu in a moment of anger and emotional defensiveness but I think he would regret it later even if he wouldn’t admit it, but I don’t think Stu would betray him.

Also the writer of the screenplay himself has said he accidentally wrote a bunch of gayness into the film because he was closeted himself at the time so y’know

#ask #movie canon opinions #stuilly

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inventors-fair · 2 years ago

Text

Alone In The Big City Commentary

Hello everyone, @loreholdlesbian here again. I’m back with the commentary for the last contest I ran, the monocolored Ravnican legends

Garulsz, Jaded Barkeep by @wolkemesser

Interesting. So you want creatures to be damaged in combat, but survive, which rewards big creatures. And then you have a nice way to make your creatures bigger that ties into the food ability. My worry is just how much this’ll discourage your opponents from attacking. It makes the math really complicated (since you can turn food into +1/+1 counters), and it’ll be frustrating to get it wrong. I think the food-making ability should only work on your turn.

Aurelia and Lavinia by @piccadilly-blue

This is an interesting prison card. I like that it encourages you to attack, so it’s less of a grindy game, though you really only need one or two hits to be a nuisance. I kinda wish it encouraged it more, not using counters. Something like “Whenever a creature you control deals combat damage to a player, until your next turn, creatures can’t attack you, planeswalkers you control, or battles you protect unless their controller pays 2/W for each of those creatures.

Zorym, Gateless Courier by @bergdg

Pretty generic, but cool. The mana is definitely a good gate for the consecrated sphinx effect, stops it from getting out of control. I like hexproof from multicolored too, it tells a surprising amount of story, especially combined with the name. It implies some kind of rebellion type thing going on, and I think that kind of flavor is a good addition for a pretty generic value piece like this.

Zomaj Hauc, the Firemind by @misterstingyjack

The spellslinger effect seems a bit disconnected from the threaten tribal, but i guess a lot of those kinds of cards are instants and sorceries so i can see what you’re going for. And i really like the pieces. As a wording thing though, this should be “When this ability resolves for the second time”; there’s weird targeting issues with this as written.

Tomik, Chairman of Balance by @railway-covidae

This is a good kind of land destruction. It takes enough work to drag the game into a stalemate as a 6 mana card that you probably aren’t doing that work unless you’re about to win. And it’s good at taking on ramp decks. I do worry that 6 mana is too much for a hate card to do its job well, but i also worry it gets a bit too armageddony much lower? Not sure.

The Forgotten God by @dimestoretajic

I know you made this as a reference to Priest of the Forgotten Gods and I think making a card for that is a cool place to take this contest. The name throws me off though. The priest refers to gods plural, but having a single god be “the forgotten god” implies they’re the only one which is odd. Giving it the same immortality ability as Ilharg is a good flavorful tie. And onto the mechanics, I do quite like it, though it feels a *little* odd that it only triggers off a nontoken creature’s sacrifice but it cares about all sacrifice including tokens. It’s probbbbably fine though

Ranov, Undercity Scion by @snugz

“This ability triggers only once each turn doesn’t work with an ability like this that has it change zones; it can’t keep track of how many times it triggered before. (And technically it doesn’t trigger at all cause it’s a replacement effect.) More importantly though, I just don’t think this card is exciting. A toned down, safety-netted reference to what used to be a keyword just isn’t enticing in the way a legendary card should be.

Ilharg, the Scarring Flame by @halfsilveredmirror

This is a very mechanically different take on the character from the first iteration, but probably a more fitting one tbh. I really like the mini-decimate effect, this is cool. Pretty brutal though, especially with trample and haste; not hitting creatures is a good call (even if it was just for color pie reasons), it still gives them a chance.

Rev, Guide to the Guildless by @0woah

This fits the spirit of the contest (heh), but technically not the letter. This is a cool way to enable to enable gates matter stuff, though land tokens always have some issues- namely, they’re very easy to mix in with regular lands.

Thessgra, Azorius Legislator by @batatafilosofal

This seems neat. Clearly wants to be in a mill deck, so you want to make sure the payoff works well with that, and I’d say this does. It’s a very defensive card, which makes it easier for you to sit back and mill. I do think this wants a way to enable itself even if not very well.

Suniel, the Woodwise by @nine-effing-hells

Solid design here. Lots of populates are good, but this takes enough investment to do that that it’s not problematic. Is there a reason you chose to forgo reminder text? There’s more than enough room.

Rhakh, Raze-Board Dedicant by @curiooftheheart

“Enters the battlefield attacking” is a neat little flavorful addition to the trigger conditions. The intention clearly seems to be this dying during combat, which I quite like, but I wish the toughness was a little lower tbh. Like 5/3

Fblthp, Adored by @bread-into-toast

Very clearly a MOM or aftermath design, and I quite like it. I’m a little surprised we didn’t see any “Whenever this creature convokes” designs frankly. This card is really limited in its commander purposes by its color identity but not every card needs to be a great commander, and it’s a cool and fitting design all the same.

Storch, the Dead Drop by @spooky-bard

Art description: Deep in the Undercity, a skull and a bony arm are visible breaking the surface of a veritable mountain of rot to be harvested by the Golgari. Beams of light pour forth from its eye sockets, scanning and surveying the area. The glowing Dimir sigil branded onto the skeleton’s forehead makes its allegiance clear.

Surveil synergy plus reanimation is a fun combo of effects. This is minor, but I think this is a bit too color intensive for a ravnica set (and it feels more like a ravnica main set card than a supplemental set card) because it synergizes with a guild mechanic. You want to be able to throw this in with a bunch of surveil cards from the set and many of those are gonna be blue. Like I said though, minor point, and very cool card. The repeatable reanimation is likely a bit problematic though; that’s a pretty cheap reanimate as an activated ability all things considered, and it could get a bit repetitive.

Massacre Girl, Fugitive Headliner by @deg99

Neat design! This is just a solid, black-feeling beatstick. Annoying to block, annoying to kill. I just wish it did a little bit more massacring ya know? Killing generally one creature a turn at most just doesn’t feel like it lives up to the title.

Araithia “Rat” Shokta by @izzet-always-r-versus-u

Fun way to capture her “people don’t think about me deal”. Protection from everything, with a clear window for interacting. Mostly, this is just an invisible stalker that’s hard to suit up which is where Invisible stalker becomes most problematic, so it’s probably fine.

Bori Andon, Izzet Blastseeker by @i-am-the-one-who-wololoes

Art direction: Bori is on the left, with part of the back towards the camera, only the face is fully visible to the viewer. He stands a couple dozens meters away from the Harmony Basilica. Flying towards it (clearly launched by someone) there's a viashino; it's going to hit one of the glass windows. A lot of Ravnican are watching. Some Azorius and Boros members are running towards Bori to stop him.

Having a board wipe on board definitely shouldn’t be instantspeed with no mana needed to activate. That’s a good way to hold your opponents hostage. I also worry about this kind of repeatable board wipe where all you need to do is put a few +1/+1 counters on this or something (which if it’s your commander you’ll definitely build your deck to do) and you can, again, hold your opponents hostage.

Bachasarius, Stage Presences by @little-red-rabbit

Well you forgot legendary lol, but the intention was clearly there. This seems fine, good uncommon legendary design. Simple, points you in a pretty clear direction. Solid, not a ton to say here.

Acorn, Trostani’s Disciple by @squeezyboi

Well firstly, this has the same targeting issues I talked about in another card. (Like, the exact same, with only targeting on certain resolutions of the ability, it’s funny how y’all both did similar things in that regard.) But I like the general shape of the design, with “Play a bunch of creatures and you get a different effect each time”. And the vhitu ghazi token is cool. I just wish it was less cramped to read.

#mtg #magic the gathering #custom magic card #inventors' fair #alone in the big city contest #commentary

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