#tbh not the worst costume i’ve ever had

[sapphic-songbird]

okay welcome to the niche post to end niche posts

Cornley as Scream’d the musical parody

so I’m just basically casting it but these are the two things I’m really insane about and yes ik this post is only for me but it’s been a week let me have this weird ass coping mechanism

so Chris casts himself as Billy I feel like. And I think he’d do a decent job at it tbh (no one will ever be as amazing as Ray Winters I could talk about how perfect the way he plays Billy for hours but like-) anyways I headcannon Chris very tenor so those notes in My Own Worst Enemy he goes hard. He for sure gets beat up. Any fake fall becomes real- he’s tripping over the ghostface robes- he uses red paint for blood and it goes right in his mouth- and also everyone envision Chris with the Billy Loomis hair with me PLEASE

I think Max would be a really good Stu- although I think he’d fully miss the sort of sinister undertone Stu has (Stu is the scarier ghostface and I can rant about it and also Joey Derby NAILS THAT TOO AND AAAAA THE SCREAMD CAST IS SO GOOD) but he would kill the super like bouncy energy in Flagpole Sitta- i do think he’d get a little overexcited with the fake blood but like it works-

Sandra as Tatum/Casey cus one I love when she gets to play a couple with Max (even tho Stu and Tatum are…complex) but also Sandra is that bitch. She’s the opening song. She’s Torn which is one of the best numbers. Her constant looks at the audience are kinda perfect

Dennis as Dewey. Chris isn’t sure either. It just happened. He’s kinda cute in some scenes. He freaks the fuck out during Iris and is the most deer in the headlights looking man- also Gale has his lines written in a book prop she keeps showing him

speaking of Gale- Annie as Gale!!! She would be so perfect- I love Gale, both times I saw it I got to do the book signing interaction with her and literally a core memory but anyway Annie’s confidence and sass would be perfect and she’d look damn good in the costume.

Jonathan as Randy- he’s kinda Randy like in universe and I can’t explain it- but I think he’d do well in that narrator role and I think there’s something funny about how often Randy handles that door. Jonathan is not gonna have fun with that

also Himbry/the other cop/various as Robert- this is because the Himbry improv bit scares the hell out of me every time and Robert would kill that- also I like to think Chris casts him as that spitefully cus you KNOW Robert thinks he should be Billy (even tho there aren’t really like main roles because Scream’d is such a group show but anyway Robert wouldn’t really be here for that)

and last but obv not least our final girl Sidney- I think Nessa would be a good Sidney, I think she’s got that final girl quality to her- I think some of the more confident bits she might struggle with but I’d love to see like her finding confidence through it aaaa I’d die

(Bonus Trevor content- they have him run on as ghostface a couple times and he actually loves it but will NEVER admit it. He seems like a big horror fan so I think he’d actually like this show ((and my ChrisTrev agenda wants to add he would be missing cues over Chris as Billy)) and he spends the whole run so stained red from being the main blood handler-)

anyway if I missed anyone lmk but I’m exhausted and I’ve been up since 4am for work and then had 4 hours rehearsal and classes so I’m ✨out of it✨

[alaskan-wallflower]

For the ask game: Butters! I can't decide on which questions so... all of them! (Or how ever many you feel like answering.)

oh this should be fun-

My first interpretation of them

Honestly I just felt bad for him. I basically knew him as the kid who got grounded all the time and he seemed sweet enough, he was actually one of my faves from the beginning haha

2. When I think I started to truly like him

Honestly the Fun With Veal episode. And in the Butters’ Bottom Bitch episode where he just kept going ‘do you know what I am saying?’ I just thought it was funny lol

3. A song that reminds me of them

(Kinda a joint one) but You and Me (But Mostly Me) from Book of Mormon is SO Butters and Cartman. Also The Weight of Us by Sanders Bohlke.

4. How many people I ship them with

I don’t really do ships lol, I liked him and Charlotte tho, they seemed cute.

5. My favorite ship of them

Probably him and Charlotte

6. My least favorite ship of them

Him and Cartman. Absolutely him and Cartman.

7. A quote of them I remember

“I’d rather be a crying little pussy than a faggy goth kid anyway.”

8, My favorite outfit on them

Professor Chaos or his Stick of Truth costume

9. My least favorite outfit on them

The bear suit Paris Hilton made him wear in Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset. I felt awful for him

10. Describe the character in one sentence

Sunshine boy with horrible family members

11. What’s the first thing I think fo when I think of this character?

His accent. I dunno, I just have a knack for remembering stuff like that lol-I could honestly just listen to his voice all day, it’s soothing for me

12. Sexuality hdc!

I’m torn between him being pan and being straight lol, but I do think he’s on the ace spectrum.

13. My favorite friendship they have

Him and Kenny. Definitely

14. Best storyline they had

Butters’ Very Own Episode. I felt bad for him but it’s one of my favorite episodes

15. Worst storyline they had

Probably in the earlier seasons when he was just used as Kenny’s counterpart for the shows punching bag. Idk, it just felt like he didn’t really have any character or personality back then

16. A childhood headcanon

He lived on a farm for a little bit when he was a baby. They moved from Hawaii to say Oklahoma, then to South Park when he was three. Hence the accent. He also had a pet chick up until he was 7 or so named Toast. His parents made him give the chick away tho

17. What do you think their first word was?

Probably just mama or something. I do have a headcanon he still calls his mom (or his unofficial mother figure) mama sometimes.

18. How do I think he was as a kid?

He was probably really hyper. He subdued when he got older tho because his parents kept grounding him for accidentally breaking stuff when he would run around

19. The most random ship I’ve seen with this character

Butters x Craig. Like ???? They never interacted in the show lol-

20. A weird headcanon

Butters has a huge sweet tooth and if there’s candy or sweets in his vicinity he’ll devour it in an instant and likely suffer from a bellyache later

21. When do I think they were at his happiest?

Probably when he moved out and went to college tbh. He was just happy to get away from his toxic ass family. Or when his grandma finally dies.

22. When do I think he was at his lowest?

I do headcanon that when he’s in middle school he finally snaps. He becomes angry and kinda becomes a bully because he doesn’t feel like he has anyone who cares about him, it’s probably only for a few days at most but he just snaps at everyone, makes fun of everything everyone does, but after a few days Kenny (and maybe Cartman or Kyle) kinda confronts him and he ends up apologizing and trying to find someone to talk to.

23. Future headcanon

I wanna imagine that he lives on a farm, he has a bunch of chickens and goats (his favs) and some cows, pigs, even ducks. He gets a pet dog (a Border Collie) named Waffles. He kinda owns a petting zoo of sorts where younger kids just stop by and he educated them about animals and stuff. He also owns a bakery. He names it ‘Buttery Bliss’ or something

24. What do you think i’d a secret they’ve never told anyone?

Probably the thing with his sphincter and how he has to wear diapers in school sometimes. He probably only told AWESOM-O because he thought it was just a robot. But after that he didn’t tell anyone because he would definitely get made fun of :(

25. When do I think he’s acted the most ooc

Probably in The Worldwide Privacy Tour. Kyle even said ‘this is really out of character for you, Butters.’ so probably that lol, or in Going Native. I mean he literally wanted to kill a bunch of innocent people

26. When do I think they were being “themselves” the most?

Honestly? Probably when he was singing the Loo Loo Loo song, it kinda just showed his cuter side. Or in Cartman Sucks when his parents sent him to the Pray teh Gay Away camp because he was just so oblivious to where he was but still stood up for himself and his friends in the end

27. If they could meet a certain character from a different show/movie/book, who would be the most fun for them to meet?

Hello kitty. This kid would be in HEAVEN if Hello kitty was real. Either Hello kitty or Tails the Fox. Him and Tails are pretty similar. Plus fluffy fox meets sunshine boy, they’d get along-or just him in the pokémon world. Yes.

28. The most unnecessary thing they ever did?

Probably when he was trying to get the Hawaiian tourists killed in war

29. How do I think they’d be as a parent?

Honestly? He spoils the shit out of his kids. He’s a huge pushover, but not to the point where his kids become spoiled brats. He probably exposes them to animals early so he could get them to know what’s good and what isn’t when on the farm. He supports his children, but he’s probably a very sheltering parent if that makes sense. Has no idea what he’s doing at first but eventually gets the hang of it. He loves playing make believe with them, would totally play dress up and such.

30. The funniest scene they ever had?

When he’s Professor Chaos and trying to be all menacing and Dougie has to keep telling him the Simpsons already did his idea and he’s just like ‘aw hamburgers :(‘

Hope this is good!

[radroller]

CAPTAIN BRITAIN COSTUME RATINGS

Totally impromtu and totally subective to my tastes! Focusing on Brian because his are the costumes i have the strongest feelings towards. Here we goooo!!!!

Original: 6/10

This one is a-okay and ive seen it look really cool in the hands of some artists, but it’s not a fave. The mask is cool, i like the big lion, and the Union Jack armbands are pretty neat, but it just doesnt really come together to me. Also i think Lionheart wore it better, but nobody gives a damn about her 😔

Alan Davis design: 10/10

PLEASE look at this suit, the simple iconic design, the color placements, the boots, the COOL helmet with the chin guard, i love it so much. I used to be confused by the huge X his costume makes but it does fit with how much he associates with X-Men characters. This will always be one of my favorite Alan Davis designs, and now that I’ve seen the other potential costumes he drew when brainstorming i can say we hit the fucking jackpot here.

Alan Davis Redux: 9/10

I dont like this one as much as Davis’ original design, but it’s still really good. The color balance is more or less the same, and as as a person who has drawn the previous Captain Britain suit i do appreciate the simplification. Plus, the biggest thing I appreciate Davis bringing to Captain Britain’s design is his beefy physique, and that has yet to change. So what’s to complain about?

Britannic: 2/10

In terms of 90s redesigns this is about as inoffensive as you can get, but it’s so damn boring. This looks like something Brian would wear for some one-off Excalibur mission, but it’s just his regular suit. Hell it looks like an undersuit that’s missing some kinda armor! Literally only thing worse than this costume to me is the name “Britannic.” Like are you kidding me. The only reason he isnt 1/10 is this is some of the best hair Brian has ever had. Literally a helmetless version of any of his costumes with this flowing hair would be SICK.

King of Otherworld: 3/10

Really don’t give a fuck about this one tbh. It’s not all bad, it’s clearly drawing from his original costume with some of the iconography and i can certainly see that working, but without the mask??? The best part of his original costume??? Or maybe some variation on helmets? Also, again, Lionheart basically wore a version of this suit that was better in every way.

New Excalibur: 8/10

Okay now we’re talking!!! A nice update of the classic design that makes a few interesting changes. I always thought the black sleeves were kinda neat, as is the helmet resembling a more traditional superhero mask. The modern detailings, however, i’m completely indifferent toward. You could tell me this was Ultimate Captain Britain and id believe you (which is funny as some of the Ultimate designs resemble the classic suit way more than this one does). Still, not bad at all!

M.I. 13: 4/10

Im gonna be real, this is probably my least favorite one, but i don’t think it’s the worst. It’s just so bland. It’s not like a helmetless look couldnt work, Brian and Betsy rock that look quite a bit, and Ultimate Jamie Braddock KILLS with it. But like the overly simplistic design, thinner build, lame haircut, he’s just missing so many vital qualities.

Sword of Might: 7/10

This design is very cool and i love how it combines his og and classic looks in a more armored appearance. If he had blue covering his mouth this would be my favorite upgrade of his original design. However i ultimately don’t think this is a design id wanna see regularly because i just don’t like his original suit that much. But still, so cool to see!

Captain Avalon: 6/10

I greatly appreciate the return of the BEEF but i find this suit kinda mid. It’s just a Captain Britain reskin, like he’s Thunderstrike or the Scarlet Spider. But that’s perfectly okay. Frankly my biggest problem with it is that I don’t get why it exists. Like okay Brian is retired and he seems fine with that but there’s a million Captain Britains. There are LITERALLY retired Captain Britains hanging out in Otherworld all the time! Did they get new costumes too? Who knows. On the other hand, this is the least connected to Britain he’s ever been in terms of name and design, so in a way that makes it a secret 10/10!!! Wow!!!

[1moreoffkeyanthem]

Will I be projecting this into a South Park fanfiction at some point probably very sorry in advance to either Kyle or maybe Tweek but tbh I gotta rant real quick about my supremely awful day

(Cut for both severe anxiety and possible eating problem triggers)

So like I act and stuff right. Low budget independent shorts, projects for the local film school, things of that nature. And I had a shoot today for a class that’s essentially focused on filming an 8 page script in 12 hours, teaches the students professionalism, all that.

I woke up anxious for reasons I couldn’t pinpoint, wore Kyle socks under my costume for powers, figured I’d be okay once I got into the swing of the shoot. I was not. There was this chunk of very specific scientific dialogue that I just COULD NOT get to come out in the right order, and what did my bitch ass brain do? Fucking spiraled with it. Which made talking harder, which made the “YOURE A FAILURE YOURE A FAILURE” internal dialogue worse, and it continued. And I had a goddamn panic attack on the soundstage.

I wound up shaking in the green room literally crying, someone had to go get my husband from the editing suite because they didn’t know what to do, I could HEAR the professor talking to his class about “when talent has emotional problems during production it’s important not to let them know they’re holding up the shoot”, and the worst part? This was less than an hour before we broke for lunch.

And I’ve vagued about this before, but I’m a recovered anorexic. About five years ago, I did the whole outpatient thing or whatever, was in therapy for a while for it, almost had to drop out of college for it, all that shit, and for the most part I consider myself to be fine now. But that mentality pops up every once in a while, and that shit is AWFUL.

The AD called for lunch, and my first fucking thought was “you don’t fucking deserve to eat you worthless piece of garbage”, and like NO BRUH TF?!? Having a goddamn stroke on set is literally no reason to punish yourself, like if anyone else was having a gnarly anxiety day I would absolutely be encouraging them to take it easy on themselves, hydrate and eat, whatever they need, so how fucked up is it that I couldn’t do that for myself. I did wind up having a slice of the college film student set staple that is little cesars cardboard ass pizza bc Opposite Actions, but it was a huge mental struggle.

It’s definitely worth noting that NO ONE was nasty to me about my breakdown, at least not to my face, even though I was completely fucked in the head afterwards for the remainder of the shoot. I’ve worked with a lot of these people before, they know me and know it was just a bad day, and one of the girls I worked art department with on a previous feature was script supervisor for this one, and she came into the green room and sat with me, stopped me from biting at my fingertips because I hadn’t realized I was making myself bleed, kept me from hyperventilating until my partner got there. The director got with his team to work out what footage they could get until I was more steady. The AD checked in constantly for the rest of the shoot. The other actor was incredibly sweet and shared anecdotes from his stage acting days to cheer me up whenever I’d get anxious over a missed word in a take. No one was a dick to me. At all.

Except myself.

I don’t like to consider myself mentally ill, despite the fact that I know there’s no shame in it; I’m diagnosed with anxiety and depression, plus the whole eating disorder thing, obsessive compulsive disorder, I’ve been told I should get evaluated for autism (tbh yeah probably) like yall I’m a fucking disaster. But no one, NO ONE will ever be as hard on me as I am on myself. Also, it was a student production the Friday before spring break. They cut shots and wrapped early because nobody wanted to be there.

If you can step back and put shit In perspective, it helps. Unfortunately I’m very bad at that.

Very sorry for the rant being a person is fucking stupid but at the end of the day I love helping people tell the stories they want to tell and also wearing south park socks under my 1950s scientist costume.

[thedeathlysallows]

Hii darling💓🤍 how are u & ur family, planning tk be anything fun for halloween?🎃👻 just popping in to ask u if u will post any teaser for mm like u used to do?? Like always so excited to read more!!😚😚😚

It’s been wild since the end of September tbh. We got hit by hurricane Helene and lost power for almost two weeks. We lost internet and cell phone service too. Before that my oldest kid and I were sick for a week with the worst cold I’ve ever had. Luckily the baby and my husband never caught it. The beginning of this month was my oldest’s birthday, but my grandfather got sick around the same time and passed away recently. That’s been rough to navigate with my son because he’s old enough to know something happened but not fully grasp it.

We picked up Halloween costumes before all of that though. My oldest is going to be a cop car (not a cop, a cop car lol) and my newborn has a cute pumpkin outfit. There are a few festivals going on between now and Halloween that we’ll try to go to

All that being said, my inspiration is none existent and my writer’s block is the worst it’s ever been. I’ll try to find something for y’all though ❤️

[purplesurveys]

1606

Do you remember much from high school? Some snippets here and there, but it’s not like my memory is superpower-levelsof good. If anything, I know my old survey blog is still hanging around here and I told so much shit about high school in there, while I was actually in high school.

Where would you go for the ultimate honeymoon? I’d love to go traveling around West Asia and follow it up with a second leg in North Africa.

Can you access the roof of the building you live in? Well we have a rooftop, so yes.

Do you know anyone who has a strong accent that is hard to understand? Occasionally my clients will have regional higher-ups join our calls and they would have very thick accents that I’d sometimes struggle to understand, yes.

If you had to get a tattoo tomorrow, what would you get? Seven dots in the order of BTS’ mic colors. I also want to incorporate a 7 in there but I still don’t know how; might be something I ask help for from the tattoo artist.

What was the last podcast you listened to? Do you listen to it regularly? The last one I remember listening to is Dispatches From Myrtle Beach, which is a podcast by GMM’s Link and his dad. I loved the pilot a lot, but as I’m not a usual listener of any podcast I didn’t really catch up. My focus when listening is pretty shaky so podcasts and I have never really worked well together.

Are you more of an optimist or a pessimist, and why do you think this is? Optimist. I was a raging pessimist in the past and I’ve learned that always looking at the bad side of things has never helped me nor helped the situation get better. I like looking at things realistically if anything, but I’m never always like, “this is going to shit” or “I’m going to be so bad at this.”

When was the last time you moved house? That would be 15 years ago.

Have you ever held a gun? Did you fire it? I held some sort of practice gun once, at Athenna’s place. I still don’t know whether that was a real one or what.

Do you like simple questions or deep questions that make you think? You mean on these surveys? Simple ones. I go here for a distraction, so for the most part deep questions that would make me need to mull over my answers kinda defeats that purpose.

How long have you been using Bzoink? I’ve been checking it out since like ‘09, but never made an account since I primarily post surveys here. 14 years!

When was the last time you threw up? Why were you sick? Nausea from too much screentime. Work, as always.

Are you on a first-name basis with your boss? (or last boss if unemployed) Yep, honorifics are thrown out the window for the most part. It’s meant to make everyone comfortable with one another and confident to share ideas.

What brand is your laptop or computer? Apple.

Would you ever wear a bright orange shirt? I find it hard to imagine doing so, tbh. 

What was the last thing you wrote in a word document? Probably December before we went on shutdown.

Who do you miss and what do you miss about them? My grandpa. I miss talking to him; he was an incredibly intelligent person. I’m mostly sad I was too young to fully appreciate the little factoids and anecdotes he would share – and also because I never did get to share a drink with him.

What were the best and worst costumes you've ever worn? Best would be dressing up as Sofie for one Halloween - it’s my favorite because it ended up being the most resourceful/cheapest and the most popular in my friend group lol. Worst would probably just be the generic princess/pirate costumes we’d buy last-minute at the department store.

Do you know anybody who is gay and married? Yes, a prof I had in college. Media law is what they taught.

What did you last take painkillers for? A headache from fluctuating temperatures all day.

Are there any hobbies you want to get back into? Reading. I already have two books lined up for me to read, which is a great start to 2023. I imagine I’d be getting into it more as I become closer with Kat (my cousin’s fiancée), who’s as big a bookworm as it gets.

Have you ever shared a home with a friend? I have not.

What's the craziest or weirdest place you've ever slept? The fucking parking lot at Metrowalk. What in the utter fuck was I thinking.

What did you have for lunch today and who made it? It’s 9:57 AM.

Do you believe in anything supernatural like ghosts or ghouls? No.

How many hours of sleep did you get last night? Around 5. Slept at 3, woke up at a little over 8 this morning.

Are you allergic to anything? How did you find out? Grass, apparently. And certain fabrics that I haven’t figured out yet because my rashes apper randomly, lmao.

What's your favourite Thai dish? Pad thai and green curry.

Do you have any alarms set? What time and what for? Yeah but I rarely set them on. It’s for waking up for work if I feel like I’ll have trouble waking up the next morning.

What are you going to do when this survey is over? Play with the dogs.

Have you ever been on a date with someone you met online? How was it? Nope.

What colour is the rug in your living area? Grey.

Do you call it a couch, sofa, lounge or something else entirely? I alternate between couch and sofa.

Who is your favourite character on Friends? Chandler. I’m most similar to Monica so I like her too.

When was the last time you used a pair of headphones and what for? My dad got a pair of headphones for the family raffle last Christmas and my sister and I gave it a quick try to make sure it works fine. Describe the temperature of the area you're in right now. It’s hot during the day but can be very cold at night.

Who was the last very physically attractive person you saw? This girl at church who turned out to be someone from my high school once I got to take a better look at her, lol.

Have you ever had teppanyaki? No, it doesn’t really appeal to me. This is why I could never count Japanese as a top fave cuisine of mine lol – I only ever really regularly eat sushi and sashimi, oh and ramen too. Not so much of the fuller rice/meat dishes they’ve got.

How long does it take you to get ready before you go somewhere? Around 30-45 minutes. I take longer now; I never know what to wear.

Do you find it difficult to get rid of material possessions? I will say that I’m a bit of a hoarder, yes. Not reality-TV levels of bad, but I do find it hard to get rid of things.

What sort of games do you like to play? Just easy Mario ones, man. I’m terrible at video games. GTA is fun too but I only ever use it for the open-world feature and eating at restaurants LOL and not actually doing the missions.

What was the last candy you ate? These toffee candies given to my mom as a Christmas gift - they taste exactly like Ferrero Rocher.

Have you ever been hit in the face? What's the story? Yeah, by my brother and is the reason I do not talk to him. Family argument got out of hand, and he, the youngest, was the first to raise a hand.

Do you know anyone who is deaf? I used to know somebody. My great-grandma’s former househelp was mute and deaf.

Name one thing on your bucket list. Going to Korea!

[owen-not-carvour]

so tonight is the Second night of the addams family.

i’m playing alice,, but i also get to be an ancestor in the opening number.

that being said,, im the bride ancestor and just TELL ME this dress isn’t the perfect Talia dress

obviously still looks a little weird but fr there’s so much fabric in this dress

catch me in the wings before the show starts just. Spinning and going TALIAAAAAAAA lol

[myherowritings]

order’s up!

— Osamu gets a big order of some rather strange rice ball combinations an hour before closing. He doesn’t expect that he’d find the customer who ordered to be so damn cute.

pairing: miya osamu x reader word count: 2,387 genre: fluff, post manga timeskip

a/n: first haikyuu fic and aHH it was so fun to write ,, i didn’t expect osamu to be my first but here we are and tbh i am not mad~ ;) FJSDHKJ hope u enjoy!!

“One unagi onigiri to go-- Your order’s ready!”

A middle-aged man stood up from his seat at the waiting area and headed over to the counter, thanking Osamu for the fresh onigiri and making brief small talk. As the man left, Osamu looked at the customer next in line, thankful there was only one person in here so close to closing time.

“I’ll be with you in a moment,” he stated when your gaze met his, lips quirking up to give his best customer service smile.

You nodded with a warm smile of your own before looking down at the phone in your hands, murmuring what he thought sounded like “salmon, plum, beef, extra green onions, heavy on the seasoning.” Now, he liked to think there were no rules to onigiri, but part of him did hope you wouldn’t ask for all those ingredients in one gigantic, imbalanced rice ball. Maybe you were reciting a large number of individual orders.

He shrugged. Money was money, and all onigiri was good onigiri when made with his special Miya love. Miya love that was specific to Osamu in particular, of course. Atsumu could never recreate it even if he tried-- Not that he ever tried. The day he tried in something other than volleyball would be the day Osamu said he was the worst onigiri chef in Japan.

In other words, never.

Osamu hustled over to the cash register and you took that as your cue to step forward, hands fidgeting with your wallet and cellphone.

He smirked to himself in silent amusement. A shy one, were you? By now he had lost count of all the nervous and fidgety costumers he had gotten at his shop, but to allow them to stay that way simply wouldn’t do. If his patrons weren’t 100% comfortable in his care--well, as comfortable they could be in an onigiri shop--it meant he was doing his job wrong.

As the owner of Onigiri Miya he wanted to make sure every customer would leave with a smile and a desire to come again soon. That was how he built rapport and got so many regulars after all.

“I can take your order whenever you’re ready,” said Osamu in a slow pace, encouraging you to slow your rhythm as you tapped your fingertip restlessly against your protective phone case. Were you in a hurry? You seemed rather antsy, but he went on. “There’s no rush here.”

There was less than an hour until closing and he figured you would be the last customer of the day-- Meaning there was no reason not to slow down. As much as Osamu appreciated how lively his hometown could be, he also enjoyed quieter moments like these.

Not everything had to be so loud. Not everything had to be moving so fucking fast all the time. And he learned that in some instances, he could just control the pace himself.

Your worried chatter brought him out of his musing. “Are you sure? Because I know you close soon and I really didn’t want to come in so late but the guys are still down over a loss and said this was their favorite comfort food,” you said, eyebrows furrowed in a tell of concern. “It’s kind of a big order, so if you need to start cleaning up for closing I can just go to another store-- Sorry for imposing!”

He blinked. He thought he just said there was no rush to imply he wasn’t worried and you shouldn’t be either, but you didn’t seem to pick up on that.

“Hey, you’re not imposing,” Osamu soothed, somewhat alarmed at your apprehension. “You said someone was down over a loss? You on a sports team?”

Losing sucked. Osamu knew this firsthand.

Sure, in hindsight it wasn’t the worst thing in the world, but while it could sure feel that way sometimes. If it was bad enough, it could take a few days to really get over and grow from it. So hearing that Onigiri Miya was someone’s comfort food that could help cheer them up on days like those… That certainly gave him reason to puff his chest up a little more.

“Yeah! Well, kind of.” You moved your head side-to-side as if unsure of your answer. “I help assist the volleyball team at my university. It’s my last year in school and I’m sure all of the other fourth years are bummed too.” Catching the small frown on your face, you stopped yourself before it spread, clearing your throat. “But it’s okay! At least we all had fun. And now they’ll be getting some of their favorite food to cheer them up-- If you’re still taking orders, that is…?”

He nodded. “‘Course I am.” Osamu flashed you a grin intended to make your worries disappear. “What kinda store owner would I be if I couldn’t make your team their pick-me-up food?”

The two of you shared a look before you tore your gaze away, biting your lower lip to hide your smile.

“Thank you, then,” you murmured, unlocking your phone to what appeared to be a notes app.

Osamu picked up his pen with a short hum. “Ready to take your order when you are.”

“Right.” You stared at your screen in concentration before listing off what you had written. “Can I have three salmon onigiris with green onions, two umeboshi and mentaiko with light seasoning and ginger, one tempura and unagi with green onions and sesame seeds and heavy seasoning, two…”

As he noted your orders, some arguably stranger than others--not that he should be one to judge, what with his own peculiar preferences--he made a mental note of how cute your voice sounded and tucked it away in the depth of his mind. Was cute the word for it? He wasn’t exactly sure, but he guessed that sounded okay enough. There was something about hearing you talk that made Osamu want to hear more, even if it was just a list of onigiri ingredients.

He huffed. Weird.

When you finished he repeated back your order, affirming it was all correct.

“Great, so I’ll be with you in about 15 to 20 minutes with your order ready,” he informed as he held the paper with the dishes he had to make. “You can have a seat at one of the tables ‘til I return.”

You nodded at his words but hesitantly opened your mouth. “Erm-- Wait!”

He looked back at you, mere steps away from the cooking area.

“Is it just you working at this hour?” you asked, standing with your hands folded behind your back as you craned your neck.

“Yeah, we don’t get many late customers on a Tuesday night so I’m the only one closin’ today.” Osamu gave you a curious once-over. Bright eyes, nervous yet playful smile, cute outfit-- Damn, he sure was using the word cute a lot today. All in relation to you nonetheless. “Why?”

“Are you sure the order isn’t too big for you in this hour?” Once again, you were fretting. He reckoned he ought to teach you some relaxation techniques and tips of how to be less...selfless. “Do you need some, uh, help?”

The corner of Osamu’s lip twitched upwards. Help? What were you planning on doing if he said yes? Learn the basics of food safety and onigiri-making in less than 20 minutes so you could assist him in making your order?

Something told him that was, in fact, what you were ready to do.

Cute.

“Stop stressin’, sweetheart,” he said with a tsk, not bothering to hide his amused grin. “I’ve handled bigger orders than this. You just rest your pretty little head and I’ll be finished before you know it.”

Though you still looked concerned, you nodded and sat down, probably figuring you would be more of a hindrance in his onigiri-making flow than anything else.

“Don’t miss me too much-- And don’t even think of saying sorry or anythin’ like that!” His tone was teasing but he meant what he said. You were a customer at Onigiri Miya and he wanted no patron of his to be worrying this much if he could do anything to help it. “The store’s still open and I’ve no issue taking your order. ‘Kay?”

You blinked. “Okay. I… Thank you, uh, Miya-san.”

“Just Miya’s fine.”

“Right. Miya. Thank you.”

He sauntered off into the kitchen to get started with your order and as he went through making your onigiri, he hoped you wouldn’t still be feeling bad about a big order that wasn’t even that big compared to others he got. Besides, you had already paid for the order. There was no point worrying after the transaction went through.

Osamu soon made his way down the list of rice balls and, just like he promised, popped his head out of the kitchen along with three, full takeout containers in record time.

“For the cutest customer here tonight-- Order’s up!”

You perked up at the mouthwatering smell of his onigiri, pressing a hand to your stomach as you hummed. “I’m the only customer here tonight, but since your food smells so yummy I will choose to let that comment slide.”

Holding the bag of takeout in front of his, Osamu smirked at your surprisingly steadfast composure. You didn’t get flustered at his unabashed compliment like he thought you would, and for some reason that made you seem even more appealing.

As you accepted the order, he quipped, “Only customer here or not, you’re still the cutest.”

You wrapped your fingers around the handle of the takeout bag, the edge of your pinky brushing against his thumb. “Hmm, then-- I guess you’re definitely the cutest worker here tonight, even though it is by default.”

Osamu laughed, both in amusement and in happiness after finally getting you to feel comfortable in his shop.

“A compliment’s a compliment and I’m not above being the cutest by default,” he said with a lazy drawl, watching as you set the onigiri bag on the counter in front of you while easing into a conversation with him.

“As if you would ever have to win by default. You seem much too handsome and talented for that.”

It sounded like you were flirting. Were you flirting? He noted the mischievous glint in your eyes and the way you lingered in the store instead of leaving once you received your order.

Yeah. You were so flirting.

“Cute.”

“Huh?”

“Oh, nothing.” He smiled secretively but wouldn’t expand on what he said despite your questioning look.

You narrowed your eyes. “Sure, okay then.” Your fingers wrapped and unwrapped themselves from the handle of the to-go bag, like you didn’t want to leave just yet but didn’t know what was left to say. “Well-- Um, thank you for the order! I’m sure this’ll cheer the team right up.”

“And you as well, I hope.”

“Of course. I haven’t even tasted it but it already has.”

Just being here already has, is what you seemed to say. Osamu rather liked that implication.

“But… I still feel kind of bad for ordering all this so close to your closing hours,” you said sheepishly, rubbing the side of your neck like it had a knot. “I’m sorry.”

Osamu waved his hand at your words. “Please, what do you have to apologize for? Making me do my job?” he asked cheekily, his sideways grin showing teeth. “You shouldn’t feel bad.” He noticed the way you brought your lower lip into your mouth with uncertainty and he continued, “But if you still do...there is a way you could repay me and soothe those worries.”

You looked up, eyes widened. “How? I’d do anything.”

Dangerous words coming from such pretty little lips.

He adjusted the cuffs of his sleeves, unintentionally bringing your attention to his forearms. “Let me treat you out this weekend, yeah?”

Your gaze followed his hands as you nodded. “Yea--” You blinked to snap out of your daze and he stifled a laugh. “Wait, wait! Shouldn’t I be the one to treat you?”

“What kinda gentleman would I be if I were to ask you out on a date and tell you to pay?”

Maybe Atsumu would’ve made his date pay for their meal and activities of the day, but Osamu wasn’t him. Osamu had class.

“A date?” you parroted. “As in one with me? And you? Together?”

There wasn’t anyone else in the store he could be asking. Nope, just you and your awkwardly cute self.

Osamu nodded in affirmation. A date is just what he was asking you out on. “Well, only if you want, of course.”

You bit the inside of your cheek to contain the wide smile that threatened to spread across your face. “I wouldn’t mind a date with the cutest worker here tonight,” you teased, looking around the store before meeting landing on his face. “I still want to be the one to treat you, though. It’s the least I could do.”

As happy as he was that you didn’t reject him, he didn’t give. “Don’t worry about treating me-- Your company’s a better treat than money could buy.” You snorted at his pickup line and Osamu silently cursed his brother for saying that line would always work. And then cursed himself for believing it. “Look, I’ll pay. I insist.”

“I insist too.”

You held each other’s gaze, neither one wavering. He seemed to realize you weren’t going to give in, but he wasn’t planning on it either. He huffed, shaking his head, entertained. “Okay, then. How ‘bout we rock-paper-scissors it when the day comes?”

“Fine by me,” you laughed, hiding the bottom half of your face with your hand. He wanted to hold it in his so he could see the full smile you were covering, but Osamu decided he could save that for another time. “But don’t think you’ll have an easy win! I’ll have you know I play a mean game of rock-paper-scissors.”

“‘Course you do, sweetheart.”

And he didn’t doubt that at all.

As strange as the orders were and as nervous as you may have been at the start, Osamu found himself rather fond of you. Was working overtime worth it just for a date with a cute costumer?

Yeah, he decided. It was.

a/n: y/n’s vball team waiting for their comfort food after a bad loss while y/n and osamu are just there flirting after hours: 👁💧👄💧👁

[muffinrecord]

Hm..anyone from the apartment trio for the ask game

I'm going to pick Seika!

Why I like them

I love that she's a socially anxious tall nerd, and I also love that people can kind of find her off-putting initially-- she's not being scary, she's watching you while being shy in the background! I feel like it'd be interesting if she ever had the chance to interact with Kanae.

Why I don’t

Hmmm. I like that she has the opportunity to branch out beyond the apartment trio and interact with other characters, but I feel like the Ayaka friendship goes too far into comedy sometimes. That's more a flaw of writing than it is of her though?

Favorite episode (scene if movie)

Man it's been a long time since I've rewatched See You Tomorrow. Anything from her in there would fit.

Favorite season/movie

The aforementioned See You Tomorrow is just really good in general. I still believe it would make for a good spinoff manga.

Favorite line

"I end up daydreaming a lot during class. But it seems I have a serious expression on my face while doing it, so I never get caught."

This is such a damn mood, I love her. Also I love the trope of the serious-looking character actually having their head in the clouds.

Favorite outfit

I guess her meguca outfit? She doesn't really wear anything else. Give Seika a costume!

OTP

I don't ship her with anyone

Brotp

The Apartment trio B) How can you not love them all together? They're great and balance each other out. Mito keeps everything in control, Seika and Leila keep Mito down to earth. They can bring out the best and sometimes even the worst in each other, but their misunderstandings can be worked through to make their bonds better in the end.

Head Canon

So like,

"I usually read a lot when I’m at home. But lately I’ve started to work out. It’s pretty addictive!"

Future buff as hell Seika. Also, future buff tall Seika who has a "serious" face and social anxiety. Everyone is scared of this poor little cinnamon roll.

Seika punches a witch in the face and it instantly dies.

Unpopular opinion

I don't think I have any?

A wish

Please give Seika a cool costume. Halloween. Winter. Whatever. Give her something. Fuck it, make a swimsuit alt of the three apartment girls. GIVE THEM SOMETHING PLS

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen

Nothing in particular? Don't kill her off I guess???

5 words to best describe them

Shy, simmering, blue, anxious, thoughtful

My nickname for them

The only thing I can think of is "Blue Alive" lmao. I don't have any nicknames for anyone tbh

[superhero--imagines]

A/N: Happy Halloween kids! (Because I feel very old lol). So this imagine was requested by the lovely @atbucud​ who is probably the best beta reader/editor/fan/person I’ve ever known.

This imagine is going to be like the premise, and at the end you’ll have a {Love choice} and get to pick an ending. Endings will be linked and posted next week on Halloween! Hope you like it! Also let me know if this format is annoying/troublesome. I like to think it’s more interactive, but if most of y’all find it a hassle then it’s not worth it. 

Oh, and Damian Wayne is 18 in this. 

* First off, you’re rollin’ with some pretty rich kids, so you while it’s possible you go to some Jank Halloween party at someone’s house

* You’re probably going to a bougie charity gala that “the Wayne” foundation puts on every year

* “Let’s draw” Stephanie states triumphantly, placing a large glass bowl full of torn pieces of paper in the table in the middle of the living room at Wayne manor.

* Jason only raises an eyebrow, turning his attention back to his phone

* “Draw for what?” You ask, notching everyone’s disinterest

* “Costumes for the gala of course” Stephanie says it’s like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

* Damian sputters

* “Why would anyone do that?”

* “Because it would be funny” she grins, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes

* Tim flashes her a look

* “There’s no way any of us are going along with whatever crazy costumes you’ve put in there”

* Besides it’s already bad enough that they even have to go at all

* Jason would rather watch Dick clip his toenails

* Damian just wants to spend the night with Titus and watch movies with you

* Tim was hoping to go to his favorite local coffee shop’s Halloween party

* Dick would rather go to the block party his friend invited him to

* Cass just wants to stay home and pass out candy

* Barbara’s smart enough to be “out of town”

* And you’re just happy to be here tbh

* Stephanie’s not deterred by their lack of enthusiasm though, a mischievous smile curling onto her face.

* Her hand are suddenly resting on your shoulders, her face pressed against your hair

* “Aw, that’s too bad. I was really excited to see what costume our lovely (y/n) would pull out.”

* She’s feigning despair, but as soon as the words tumble out it’s like all five of their ears perk up.

* “Out of curiosity,” Tim starts, setting down his laptop. “What are some costumes in there?”

* You aren’t facing her but you can picture the mischievous glint in her eyes.

* She’s got them now.

* “Oh you know, the usual: Wonder Woman, cat woman, Zatanna’s costume-“

* You shrug, so far those seem pretty tame. The bat family seems to reflect your opinion, visibly deflating.

* Jason will be honest, you in a Wonder Woman costume does sound pretty sexy

* But it’s not exactly taboo, if he hung around you long enough he’d get to see you in it eventually.

* Dick and Cassie think you would look pretty cute in Zatanna’s costume, something about that magicians outfit hugging your form just seems right.

* But like Jason, they think they’ll see you in something similar eventually. No point in going along with Stephanie’s antics.

* Damian thinks it might be kind of nice if you were Wonder Woman, and he was Superman, that way you could both match

* But the chances of you both drawing those exact options are low. He would rather just take his chances and ask you if you would want to match.

* Tim’s bright red at the thought of you on a car woman outfit, the tight suit leaves little to the imagination

* But he’s oddly possessive and he doesn’t want anyone else to see you like that.

* So basically it looks like a bust so far

* “- and robin, nightwing, red hood, red robin, and batgirl of course.”

* All five of their heads pop back up, Stephanie grins

* Got ‘em

* The thought of you in their costume is bewitching

* “I mean it only makes sense, they’re the costumes we have in house after all”

* You know it makes sense, and it’s practical, but their collective gaze makes you blush and look away.

* But if you’re being honest there’s a certain someone you want to see in a certain costume too.

* “I guess it takes the pressure off of choosing” Jason grumbles

* “It might be funny.” Cass shrugs, but you catch the slight blush on her face

* So you all sit in a circle the bowl at the center.

* Alfred enters with a tray full of drinks and snacks, takes one look at the seven of you, and promptly walks back out.

* He’ll just..... come back later

* “Shortest stick draws last” Stephanie says.

* Which is coincidently you.

* Jason gets to go first

* “I got-Clark Kent?” He frowns, it’s not the worst, but he’s confused. Does this mean he’s supposed to be Superman?

* “Oh, I put that in for fun, easy costume, just need glasses and a white shirt”

* Jason sighs, well it could be worse

* “Batman in a recession?” Dicks eyebrows are threaded together

* Jason holds back a laugh, he could be Dick.

* “What the hell does that mean Steph?”

* Stephanie shrugs

* “Like you know, instead of a bat mobile you have a Prius, and instead of those bat-erangs you have like, knives idk get creative”

* Duck huffs, you better get robin after this

* “Raven” Cass says. Praying no one will notice that her piece of paper says “the penguin”

* To her relief everyone passes right over her, she crsuhes the slip of my paper in her hand, and breathes a sigh of relief

* Tim spends several minutes shuffling his hand around in the bowl

* “Tim just pick one!”

* “I’ll pick one when I’m damn ready, I’m not getting Wonder Woman dammit!”

* The moods pretty tense, so you say-

* “Idk I think you would make a cute Wonder Woman Tim!”

* Cue Tim.exe failing to work, his hand shooting out of the bowl

* “Catwoman, well, I guess cat boy in your case” Stephanie reads off the paper from his hand and Tim only blushes darker

* Damian’s hand shoot into the bowl, pulling out a scrap

* “A tennis player” he reads in a deadpan voice before scowling. “Brown that isn’t even a superhero”

* “You watch Serena Williams win another championship and then tell me what she does isn’t a superpower.”

* Stephanie’s hand dips into the bowl

* “Dolly Parton.” Stephanie shrugs, she pit it in because she thought it would be funny if one of the boys got it, but she actually pretty pleased

* Stephanie’s sure she can make a pretty hot Dolly Parton

* All at once their eyes turn to you.

* There’s still a handful of scraps in the bowl, but you feel a bit of pressure under their gazes.

* You look down at your hand.

* “A cheerleader for your favorite superhero?”

* Stephanie had put that one in as a joke too, imagining Damian with clip on ponytails and Pom poms.

* “Yeah, just like it sounds. You get to pick which superhero you’re rooting for” she grins, this should be pretty interesting

* “So who will you go as?”

* You gulp, to be honest there’s only one person you’re really rooting for

{Love Choice}

Who’s the number one hero in your heart?

Dick

Jason

Tim

Cassie

Damian

Surprise 1! 

Surprise 2! 

I like marvel better

A/N: on Halloween next week you’ll be able to pick which ending/character you want! I’ll add the links in to each choice for the imagine. This is not a voting situation. They’ll all be written (probably)

[thewistlingbadger]

Here's my review on the deh movie (spoilers ahead.)

In my honest opinion, the best words that i have to describe how i feel about the movie is that it is better than the in the heights movie. And i say that as someone who has always hated deh and my favorite musical ever is in the heights. The movie isn't perfect but, dare i say i enjoyed it.

I expected it to be super bad because of the white washing, the bad reviews, the story, and Ben Platt existing. And I'm not excusing any of those things (i pirated the movie I'll put the link at the bottom of this post) but I was pleasantly surprised. When you do an adaptation, you're supposed to improve the story to the best of your ability and i think that's what they did here. It wasn't all good though so let me go through the bad.

The bad:

Ben Platt??? Hello??? Honey, we know you can sing. You've got good albums and your performance in the obc was good, so what's going on here? It's such a rare occurrence to get someone from the obc into the movie, AS THE SAME ROLE! Not to mention he was talking so much shit beforehand talk about "I'm the best for the role" this that and the other, so why he didn't put his everything into the movie? It was mainly in the first half of the movie for some reason he was like "let me sing real soft".

As for the thing about his age, it's really not that noticeable imo. I think the hair isn't doing him justice. The hair aged him 60 years for some reason. Tbh i have no opinion on the hair, makeup, and costumes throughout the whole movie. They weren't great, they were boring. There weren't anything really.

... except for Connor Murphy. His design was HORRIBLE! Instead of putting him in all black like how he is in the obc, they decided to go with dark blue? He was wearing like a dark blue blazer, a dark t-shirt, and dark jeans. Like honey what? The fact that he had such a straight boy haircut but then his finger nails were painted black and he had a ring was just. smh.

The acting of everyone in general wasn't good either. Which is weird, because i know these people are good actors 🤔 so what gives? Especially Connor Murphy's acting. It was really bad lol

Waving through a window. There's a lot to unpack here. 1. THEY HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO ACTUALLY GIVE DEAR EVAN HANSEN IN OPENING NUMBER AND THEY STILL DIDN'T DO IT. LIKE REALLY? Does anybody have a map was NEVER AN ACTUAL OPENING NUMBER! An opening number is supposed to set up the plot. It's supposed to introduce us to the setting and the characters. Anybody have a map didn't do that and NEITHER DOES waving through a window. Starting the movie with waving through a window doesn't make sense really. Originally, waving through a window happens after Evan has been pushed. It's really dramatic and super cool. It makes sense that it would be there in the story versus starting the movie off like that. SHOW! DON'T! TELL! Originally you show us why Evan is the way he is but in the movie you just tell us that he's really nervous. It's not deserved. Ben Platt is singing super quietly throughout the whole song and when the ensemble is singing they don't look like they're singing. This had me confused throughout the whole entire movie. If people were aware of Evan singing or if they weren't. (This is why having an opening number is so important! You set up the world!) Not to mention that they do that modern shit. They tried to put a modern spin on waving through window just like how there's a modern spin on all the songs in the heights movie. (I hate that shit it sounds horrible.)

The movie felt too serious? There weren't many jokes. Like the opening of the musical is supposed to be a joke but in the movie they don't write it as a joke. (You can also tell how desperately they're trying to cover how old Platt is by just showing his eyes lol.)

Why is Larry the stepdad. I made this complaint when it was revealed to us and it's still a valid one. It didn't further the plot, AT ALL! IT HAD LITERALLY NO EFFECT!

I feel like everyone in this movie should have been gay. Everyone felt gay. Alana with her outfits, Zoe cuffing her jeans, jarred actually being gay and Ben platt's gayness shined though in his performance. And of course, there's Connor.

I think they should have been more dramatic. I'm supposed to believe that Evan is poor but he he lives in a two story house. (I'm not saying poor people can't live in a 2 story house lol I'm just saying). Evan's room in the movie is bigger than mine for Christ sakes. Put the Murphy's in a MC mansion or something ya know? Make there house bigger.

I hate hate HATE how they put an instrumental of good for you and anybody have a map at the beginning of the movie. I hated it when they did that shit in the ith movie, and nothing has changed. It's the worst way to tease a fan, ever.

What I liked:

The movie was different from the musical...but in a good way. I don't hate the changes they made to the original story. To me it feels like it's a whole different vibe. The musical has always been about Evan but I just feel like in the movie they focus more on him. You're not having Jared or Connor getting shoved on your throat every 5 seconds. The original made me feel icky because you were constantly being reminded of how shitty Evan is (as you should) but it wasn't enjoyable. We're raised from a young age to know what's wrong and what's right. And imo, I can never enjoy a piece of media where the story you know something is bad the whole way through. (Uncharted 4 for example). You have to have duality. You have to have a perfect balance of it feeling wrong and right at the same time. And that's how the movie felt for me. The movie was very well made. Cutting the songs that they cut really made all the world of a difference. Imo i really helped (and that's saying something because i LOVE disappear and to break in a glove.) The new songs are good. I significantly like Alana's character more. She came off as annoying in the original but now she's more genuine imo. I absolutely LOVE how they went really slow with the romance between Evan and Zoe. I don't think they even kiss in the movie (which is GREAT! WE STAN NOT MAKING OUT ON YOUR DEAD BROTHER'S BED!) But at the end of if i can tell her we can see Zoe leaning in for a kiss. I liked how they added that. Speaking of things they added, THE ENDING! 👏👏👏 YES SIR. AS THEY SHOULD. It was so cool to see that because one of the main criticisms when it comes to dear Evan Hansen is the fact that he faces no consequences. So for the creators of dear Evan Hansen to take that criticism and actually apply it to the adaptation, is so insanely cool. (It's bare minimum but I've never seen anyone do it before) it's such a better ending to see Evan take responsibility, and to improve as a person. (It was cool to see some elements of the book brought into the movie but at the same time. Where Miguel. Make Connor gay!)

[aimmyarrowshigh]

Dark Greetings this Spooky Season Ms. V. Can we get a list of your favorite Halloween movies and specials? I know you have seen *everything* and I am trying to go beyond my usual rewatches this holiday month.

V. AIMMYARROWSHIGH’S CRITERIA FOR HALLOWEEN EPISODES

Does the Halloween element combine convincingly with the usual universe of the show (ex: Lizzie McGuire 2x09 “Those Freaky McGuires” is not good as a Halloween episode because it changes the rules of the Lizzie McGuire universe, whereas Community 2x06 “Epidemiology” is a GREAT Halloween episode because it manages to logically introduce zombies to the regular Community universe)?

Does the Halloween element advance the plot of the episode/series (ex: the reason Boy Meets World 5x17 “And Then There Was Shawn” is literally the best Halloween episode ever made is that it uses the horror movie tropes it satirizes to provide a CRUCIAL turning-point to the plot of the show)?

Is the Halloween episode in the forefront enough that it’s clearly a holiday episode (ex: HAVING ONE JACK-O’LANTERN ON A DESK DOES NOT A HALLOWEEN SPECIAL MAKE, LAW & ORDER 16x03 “GHOSTS”! You gotta go ALL-IN, like Bob’s Burgers 3x02 “Full Bars”!)?

Does the Halloween theme balance well between spooky and warm-n-fuzzy (ex: Criminal Minds 11x21 “Mr. Scratch” is too fucking bleak, but Criminal Minds 12x06 “Elliott’s Pond” has a joyous/celebratory tone to the ending despite being a genuinely scary episode)?

Is it generally a well-written, acted, and designed episode of television (ex: Saved by the Bell! 3x26 “Mystery Weekend” is seriously, not exaggerating, the worst thing I’ve ever watched in my life; Psych 1x15 “Scary Sherry, Or Bianca’s Toast” is a triumph of the medium)?

THE BEST, bar none, Halloween special ever made is Boy Meets World 5x17, “And Then There Was Shawn.” Period. There can be no argument, except MAYBE Community 3x06, “Epidemiology,” but I like “And Then There Was Shawn” better because the parody and homage as less… biting? And because I think it continues and addresses the emotional core of the regular BMW season better than “Epidemiology” does for Community s3. “Epi” DOES plant the seed (…heh) for the Season 3B major plot arc of Shirley’s pregnancy and Chang Deciding To Murder, but it gets some major minus points for mocking Yvette Nicole Brown’s weight with other characters’ responses to her costume, tbh. And “And Then There Was Shawn” is just fucking iconic. It is THE Halloween episode manual, IMO, if there were to be a textbook on how to write a perfect Halloween episode for your sitcom.

HOWEVER, I also have to give major props to Bob’s Burgers and Psych, as complete series, for their CONSISTENTLY excellent Halloween episodes. A lot of series that have multiple Halloween eps really phone it in after one or two, because they don’t have any more ideas for how to incorporate Halloween pastiches while maintaining the overall feeling of the series (tbh B99, while the Halloween Heists are excellent in general, is/has been coming very close to this line, and I think that if they HADN’T had to switch out the Heist to Cinco de Mayo in s6, they would have jumped their Heist Shark [and I think they know it, too, because it was lampshaded in the episode itself]) or they just straight-up don’t have any more ideas for what or how to have the characters they’re bound to parody or pay homage to a Halloween thing after they’ve already done one or two. And let’s be real: those one or two have probably been either The Shining or Rear Window, because those are pretty much the two that every show starts with.

Bob’s manages to make every Halloween episode feel very fresh and organic to the series, which I think they do have some leeway to do because of the nature of cartoons keeping the Belchers living a kind of loop of never aging, yk, but amazingly they’ve only done the “Tina feels too old to trick or treat, maybe? Nope, she’s not 14 yet, so there’s still time!” thing in a way that felt tropey once (in 3x02 Full Bars). They’ve been able to address Tina being 13/in 8th grade, and worrying about it being almost too late for her to keep trick or treating, in ways that were in-character and added to the overall episode in 4x02 Fort Night, 5x02 Tina and the Real Ghost, and 9x04 Nightmare on Ocean Avenue Street, without me rolling my eyes at the screen and going “TINA, EVERY SINGLE SHOW WITH A TWEEN IN IT HAS ALREADY DECIDED THAT THE AGE AT WHICH YOU MUST STOP TRICK OR TREATING IS FRESHMAN YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL, COME ON NOW” which… at this point, is a Feat. Because like, I’ve POSTED over a thousand Halloween episodes, right? But I’ve watched and screencapped ::checks folder:: 3,905 Halloween episodes since 2014. Which is, um, a. lot. The ACTUAL BEST Bob’s Burgers Halloween episode is 6x03, “The Hauntening,” which is just… achingly perfect television. I know I’ve posted about it before (probably a couple times tbh) but the way that it aired originally back-to-back with The Simpsons 27x04, “Halloween of Horror,” so that the evening of Sunday cartoons juxtaposed eight-year-old Louise whose family worked so hard to scare her like she wanted with nine-year-old Lisa’s family working so hard to keep her from being too scared and make sure that she felt safe… reader, I FUCKIN CRIED. Little girls being deeply loved while also Spoopy Things!!!!!! IS WHAT HALLOWEEN SPECIALS ARE!!! FUCKIN!!!!!! ABOUT!!!!!!!

Psych, though, has the benefit of not really having any, like… central tone to the series? Beyond “friendship” and “having fun with joking,” tbh? So it’s able to do what a lot of series get docked “points” for in my Foolproof Halloween Special Ratings System That Is Completely Subjective To My Tastes And Mood, which is really just run full-tilt into parody and homage without really worrying about overall tonal connection to the rest of the season or series. 1x15, “Scary Sherry, or, Bianca’s Toast,” while it DOES fall victim to the way-too-common Halloween episode trap of making mental hospitals into a Scary Thing (they are a medical normality and a necessary thing for health for many people and should not be feared), is delightful Spooky Fun AND has the benefit of having Shannon Woodward in it.* We all know by now that if an episode of any show has Shannon Woodward as the guest star, it will by default end up being one of the best, if not THE best, episodes of that series. It’s just how having Shannon Woodward as your guest star rolls. I also really like, with Psych’s Halloween episodes, that quite a few of them understand the underlying thematic scope of Horror, which is “The Monstrous Feminine Is A Thing And All Horror Tropes Are Actually About Women’s Interior Lives Because Men Can’t Write Women And Fear Women Always,” yk, in a way that is neither TOO Actual Horror, which I am too afraid of to Do, or too trite and demeaning, which is the other basic trap that Halloween stuff falls into A Lot. Like, Scary Sherry is very much about women villainizing other women, avenging other women, and being in very specifically-female pain, even though Shawn & Gus are still the lens through which we solve the mystery, and so are 4x04 The Devil Is In The Details And The Upstairs Bedroom and 6x03 This Episode Sucks. But they give their Monstrous Females dignity and breadth, which is impressive, ESPECIALLY since they’re one-off guest characters. Also, 3x15 Tuesday the 17th is just plain funny and well-done, like, just give it props for the title alone.

*(Speaking of Shannon Woodward, another amazingly good Halloween episode is Raising Hope 4x07, “Murder, She Hoped,” which is among my very favorite Rear Window homage episodes and has probably the funniest gag in ANY Rear Window ep, in Martha Plimpton floating across the screen in the Grace Kelly silk nightgown and peignoir and announcing that it was on sale at Walmart, can you believe?! and honestly, yes. Perfection.)

Also excellent:

• The Addams Family (1991) + Addams Family Values (1993) • Scooby-Doo and the Ghoul School (RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU WERE GAY FOR SIBELLA AS A CHILD!) • Scooby-Doo and the Witch's Ghost (RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU'RE GAY BECAUSE THE HEX GIRLS!) • Halloweentown + Halloweentown II: Kalabar's Revenge • Mom's Got a Date with a Vampire! • Z•O•M•B•I•E•S (to a lesser extent, Z•O•M•B•I•E•S 2) • Clue (1985) • Coraline • Corpse Bride • 6teen 2x00 Dude of the Dead • Arthur 21x00 Arthur and the Haunted Treehouse • Lamb-Chop in the Haunted Studio • Arthur 8x04A Fern-kenstein's Monster • Arthur 10x02 The Squirrels • WandaVision 1x06 The All-New Halloween Spooktacular (I KNOW YOU, SPECIFICALLY, DEAR @plavoptice, HATE MCU!WANDA AND I DON'T BLAME YOU, YOUR REASONS ARE VERY VALID! But this is a good Halloween special so I'm putting it on my list In General.) • Boy Meets World 2x06 Who's Afraid of Cory Wolf? • Ghostbusters (2016) • Gravity Falls 1x12 Summerween • Leverage 4x02 Ten L'il Grifters Job • The Loud House 2x40 Tricked! • Mockingbird Lane 1x00 Unaired Pilot • It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown! (Classic, etc.)

I'm SURE I'm forgetting some that I'll rewatch this year myself. I'm a big Halloween Baking Championship fan, tbh, which is on Discovery+ now so I recommend that if you like mostly-relaxing nice people baking cakes that look like bats and such.

I'm also IMMENSELY INTENSELY EXCITED for The Muppets' Haunted Mansion on Disney+ next week!!!

[surveyaddict]

Do you get along with your significant other’s family? Yes

How would you feel if a girl asked your boyfriend out for a drink? I may question it a little, only because he doesn’t have any female friends other than his friends’ wives/girlfriends.

How long did it take you to get over your last ex? That’s a loaded question. I was over the relationship long before it actually ended, but since it was volatile and abusive, the trauma still lingers.

Do you pick at scabs? Yes

Favorite kind of bean? Lentils or coffee beans

If you had to move to another country, where would you move? Canada.

Do you eat enough vegetables? Probably not.

Can you walk well in high heels? I can walk fine with them except for steep stairs

Do you like using cinnamon on or in any of your food? I like it in my coffee, bagels, and pastries.

What food does honey go best with? BBQ sauce, lol

Would you ever like to own a chandelier? Maybe?

Do you have any religious symbols in your home? No.

Do you like Taylor Swift? I have a signed copy of her evermore album sitting near my record player, so I’d say yes

Do you have any live versions of songs in your music software? I think so

Did/do you listen to Britney Spears songs? I was on a Britney kick in 2020 but I haven’t listened to her in a bit

Do you normally shut your bedroom door before you go to sleep? If I have the humidifier on, yes. If not, I just keep it cracked.

Do you still make Christmas lists? Kind of, but they’re much shorter now

What was the last thing you wrote in a Word document? I’m writing this in a Word Doc because I’m pretty sure my work tracks my browsing history :}

Do you know anybody who is gay and married? Yes

Who is your favorite character on Friends? Joey

Do you find it difficult to get rid of material possessions? Depends

Are you independent or dependent? A mix of both

How many animals do you have? None :,)

Do you like rabbits? They’re not my favorite

Do you like mushrooms? Yes

What was the last movie you cried at? Swan Song

Would you rather work for a small or large company? Medium, like I work for now

Would you rather be a famous actor or musician? Actor.

What is the rudest thing a guy has ever done to you? We’d be here for days if I told you about every rude, horrid thing my ex has ever done. Besides the physical stuff, the worst is probably spreading harmful lies about me to his family and friends.

Are you a fast or slow walker? Fast, lol – my bf loves to make fun of me for it

Do you own a bobble-head toy? Nope. I really don’t get why they’re so popular.

When was the last time you went fishing? It’s been a while and I miss it.

Have you ever read the book Thirteen Reasons Why? No

When was the last time you were really angry? Hmm, I can’t remember

Have you ever worn a tie before? Yes, for a Halloween costume and back in 2003 when it was popular

Are you good at art? Idk, it depends on the material

How many times have you read your favorite book? Tbh not sure I have a favorite book

Is there a war that you find interesting? Cold War if that counts

Do you like Trix cereal? Not anymore

Have you ever been on Omegle? A looooong time ago

Are you still in love with one of your exes? Nope.

What’s one word you hate to be called? I mean, anything derogatory or rude.

Do you live with your parents? No.

Can you do a backflip, or anything else of that sort? Hahaha, no.

Do you have any exes you can’t stand anymore? Yes? That’s why they’re blocked.

How old do you think you’ll be when you move out on your own? I’ve been on my own off and on for like 10 years. However, with this new job I don’t see myself living at home again (hopefully).

Do you know anybody that has severe allergies? My friend Caroline, and my mom is pretty allergic to cats

When was the last time you did clay work/pottery? I don’t think I ever have actually

Have you ever pricked your finger on holly or another "sharp" plant? Sure.

[night-unfurls-its-splendour]

Bridgerton & Selective Justification: A Rant

With a Particular Aside in Which This Author Questions if There Isn't a Double Standard at Play in Televised Historical Fiction.

Ok so the other day i posted complaining about how ludicrous the "Will Daphne marry Prince Friedrich?!" Plotline is to me and i referred to Daphne as a "commoner". I got two comments on that post of people saying Daphne *isn't* a commoner because she's a Viscount's daughter. I did respond but I'd like to go a little more in depth into it my thoughts on why this plotline verges on abject silliness to me, based on my (i will freely admit) *limited* knowledge of British aristocracy and the source material itself.

So if anyone reading this has a more detailed knowledge of the Peerage and how it relates to Bridgerton please correct me I'm eager to know more.

So to start out my understanding of the pecking order goes like this:

DUKE/DUCHESS = Highest ranking title in the peerage. Often bestowed on important members of the Royal family not in direct line for the throne. Worth noting is the fact that a Duke in British peerage is different than a Continental Duke. On the European Continent title Duke/Grand Duke can be associated with sovereign rule of an independent state, which has never been the case in England. Dukes and Duchesses are addressed as "Your Grace"

MARQUESS/MARCHIONESS = English equivalent of Marquis/Marquise. Very high ranking in the peerage, closely related to Earldom, but more important  since it has it's roots as the title of border (marcher) lords instrumental in a country's defense.  

EARL/COUNTESS = Referred to as a "count" everywhere else. The difference is the heavy germano-scandinavian influence on early medieval England. "Earl" is derived from the Nordic term for what could be considered a chieftan. Earls being only slightly lower in rank than a Marquess could be very rich and very important. The Earldom of Northumberland was one of the richest in 16th century England.

Now at this point we start to get into the lower peerage.

VISCOUNT/VISCOUNTESS = Addressed as "The Right Honourable". Viscountsies in England tend to almost exclusively be secondary titles held by Marequesses and Earls and passed down to their sons. Any son of a Marquess or Earl is a Viscount. The oldest son inherits the title of Earl plus all subsequent lands estates and incomes. The younger sons could also be viscounts wherever there are titles enough.

BARON/BARONESS = lowest rank of the peerage.

BARONET/BARONETESS = The only British title that doesn't land you in the peerage, the rank of baronet is (as I have heard it described) the barnacle on the bottom of the British aristocracy. It's basically a weird limbo between a Lord and a Knight that was invented by King James I in 1611 primarily as a way to jack up taxes so tbh its kind of a joke.

So Daphne's brother Anthony is a Viscount. He inherited this title from his father which likely means that their father was a second son. As you can see from this ranking list I just did, in marrying Simon, Daph married up. Way up. Not unsusual, given that her family has money and is well regarded.

Now clearly Bridgerton works differently than ACTUAL Regency England. Here, APPARENTLY if you just make a good impression on the Queen she takes a VERY PERSONAL interest in your life and she will marry you off to whatever Foreign prince she's related to who happens to be visiting. But here's where it's a bit wooly for me because there are two different contexts for the term "commoner" in England.  I think we all pretty well know how the European Royal marriage market  worked up through the 19th century, since we all like to make fun of them being inbred. Because there's a bit of a hang up not just about "Royal blood" but also Diplomatic marriage.

In the context of people with titles or peerages being nobles/aristocrats and any one without being a commoner then of course, Daphne is a noble. HOWEVER the context in which I used it in my previous post was ROYALS vs NOT ROYALS. It's perfectly acceptable to refer to someone not of Royal Blood as a commoner. In my replies I used Elizabeth Woodville as an example of a commoner. Now she DID marry a royal (Edward IV) and of course this was a few hundred years before Bridgerton would be BUT EVERYONE thought Edward was crazy for marrying her and she was not well liked because she was seen as at worst a gold-digger and at best an upstart. It was not only an uneven match but a purely domestic one which cut of England from potentially politically critical strategic foreign marriages. This is how royalty worked.

Naturally the strategic aspect of marriages was *slightly* diminished in the nineteenth century, but not really and it was still considered extremely important. Usually a young royal looking to get married was doing so at their family's behest and had a pre-determined pool they more or less HAD to choose from. Marriage to commoners of course  DID happen. It was called "Morganatic Marriage". Prince Augustus of Prussia had a morganatic marriage to a Polish aristocrat. One of Charlotte's own sons, Augustus Fredrick, had TWO morganatic marriages which kept him away from court because his wife could not be recognised due to their having married in defiance of the Royal Marriages Act of 1772, which requires all members of the  British Royal family to obtain the monarch's consent before marrying.

So I posed the very realistic question of "how would this choice to marry Daphne affect the Prince?" I don't know how morganatic marriages were looked on based on Prussian law but it seems likely, especially since Prince Friedrich is the direct heir that this marriage would have caused problems and i find it doubtful that Daphne would ever find herself addressed as "Princess".

I know that Bridgerton is fiction and that in being fiction it is pardoned  for not following courses that would be realistic in actual history. But at what point does "it's fiction" become an excuse for sloppy execution of world building?

The show takes the time to explain to the viewer (in one of the precious few moments of actual exposition) why there are black aristocrats [because the king married a black woman and things changed - which JUST IN CASE anyone is wondering, no Charlotte of Mecklenburg-Strelitz was not in any meaningful way "bi-racial" irl, based on the research I've done.] With this kind of deviation from history in a Drama that does, without any official caveats in the marketing, claim to be set in England in 1813, the writers recognised that this needed to be qualified. And in qualifying it, they justify it. They take it beyond fiction into fantasy, but it is justified.

The reason they recognised it had to be justified is because they know that most of the viewers know this is not how it went in history and would hold them to account. So why isn't more care taken to qualify the Liberties taken with the REST of Recency Society?

They talk repeatedly about "Coming Out" into society, particularly regarding Eloise. And Eloise wears her hair down and wears shorter skirts because she's still considered a child because she isn't out. But the IMPORTANT, PRACTICAL parts of not being "Out" are COMPLETELY IGNORED. She and her younger siblings are OUT at SOCIETY EVENTS. CONSTANTLY. Eloise speaks when not spoken to. She speaks DIRECTLY TO THE FOPPING QUEEN (TO WHOM SHE'S NEVER BEEN PRESENTED, BUT I GUESS IF YOU'RE DaPhNe BRiDgErToN's sister you can do whatever you want). There are BABIES at BALLS in this show. For a story that's trying to sell you on the Strrrrrrictures of RRRegency Societeh they're TOTALLY NOT INCLUDING MOST OF THOSE STRICTURES except when the plot demands it.

Why, I ask, is this? Perhaps it is pure ignorance on the writers part. They don't qualify it because they don't know rules like this existed. In which case its just bad, sloppy writing.

OR

They do know about it and ignore it and don't bother to qualify it with a "Oh Daphne a match with Prince Friedrich is so advantageous how marvellous Prussia has recently accepted Morganatic Marriage ahahaha" because they think we a) don't know or b) don't care and ITS STILL SLOPPY WRITING. Which hey, most Bridgerton fans who swallow any swill where hot people catch feelings probably don't care, but that doesn't mean its not careless writing and it doesn't make it NOT condescending. Never write DOWN to your audience.

This show approaches (but by a hair's breadth doesn't reach) REIGN levels of bad in terms of historicity. And the writers of Reign, like the writers of Bridgerton never claimed to be making an authentic representation of history. But perhaps it's because BTon only has 2 actual historical figures (one of whom is SO UNRECOGNIZABLE from her historical counterpart in countenance and personality that they might as well have just made a composite character - "How much can you change a thing before it isn't that thing anymore?") Or perhaps it's the inclusivity shield  but it seems like Bridgerton is getting a lot more leniency than Reign did.

The pass I see given to Bridgerton is "its frothy fun" (and yeah okay these costumes are worlds more realistic to the claimed period than Reign was even with the jacked up, flat bustlines) BUT. SO. WAS. REIGN.

I don't even like Reign but I do think there's a double standard here and I would like to know why.

[themonkeycabal]

WandaVision Ep 8 Spoilers

(THERE IS A MID-CREDITS SCENE, BTW)

Previously on WandaVision: It was Agatha all along.

This show has really come along well. I was worried after the first couple episodes, which were extremely slow, but it's tightened up and been entertaining as heck, in addition to being kind of a surprising meditation on grief and dealing or not dealing. You go along with wacky sitcom hijinks and then get whacked with the reminder so many things that have happened here are driven by terrible loss.

Anyway …. Acting Director Dick is Up To Something regarding Vision, and I fear we're all going to have to endure lots of his jackassery this episode. He's the not very fun part of this show, tbh. But we're getting down to it, so hopefully he gets his comeuppance sooner rather than later. And then on to deal with Agatha. Who is fabulously rotten. I love her, I have to say.

I guess this all leads into Doctor Strange 2, which I didn't know until Feige said it at the TCAs this week. So, that's something to look out for, too. Maybe everybody already knew that, but that was new to me, I think.

In happy news, nobody is power washing the sidewalks this morning. Hooray.

Creepy woods, a figure holding a flaming torch, Salem, Mass. 1693. Ah, Agatha's origin story. Burning at the stake. Or, maybe not. So far it's just being tied to one in the middle of a dark, creepy night.

"Agatha Harkness, are you a witch?" "Yes. I am a witch." "Yet, you have betrayed your coven." *gasp* Agatha!

She's been captured by her coven, because she stole knowledge, practiced dark magic, and other sundry evilities. But she says she's innocent, innocent, do you hear her! Oh, I guess not, "I did not break your rules, they simply bent to my power."

The lead witch is her mother, apparently. Since Agatha seems unrepentant, all the witches zap her with witchy magic or something. She screams a lot. But then her dark powers start drawing from the witches, sucking them dry. This is all very dramatic. Mom casts the final bolt, but Agatha is too powerful and she breaks free. All the other witches, except mom, have been grotesquely mummified.

Agatha swears she can be good, mom doubts. Mom zaps her again. Oh, whoops, Agatha drains mom next. She takes the broach from mom's desiccated corpse then zooms off into the sky in a burst of swirly purple magicy mist. The coven really didn't think that plan through all the way.

Present day, we're right where we left off, in Agatha's basement cavern of dark witches and nosy neighbors. Agatha is talking to her rabbit, Mr. Scratchy, and smirking at Wanda. "I know. She does look shocked to meet the real us, doesn't she?"

Wanda's eyes go glowy and Agatha laughs. "Oh, that's adorable. My thoughts are not available to you, toots."

Wanda wants to know where her children are, and Agatha mocks her about her reappearing/disappearing accent. Wanda tries to whammy her. "Huh, your magic's no good here." But Agatha's is. Agatha's no dummy, and now she's got Wanda magically trussed up in the center of the room.

"Didn't you notice? Basic protection spell? One on each wall? No? Nothing?" Hmm. Agatha, tbh, Wanda has like no idea what she's doing. So … "How do you not know the fundamentals?"

Wanda asks "Who are you?" and Agatha asks the same "Who are *you*? All those costumes and hairstyles. I was so patient, waiting for you to reveal your true self. I got close with fake Pietro — Fietro, if you will". Lol. I love her. She goes on about the magicy stuff she did to make Fietro "But you're so crippled by your own self doubt that you believed it. Oh Wanda."

"When I sensed this place, the afterglow of so many spells cast all at once, I couldn't make heads or tails of it." She shows off a mind control spell with some sort of big gross bug. Great. And has it fly at Wanda's face. Super awesome, Agatha. Oh, I see, she's going through the spells she thinks Wanda has cast, all the details, all the control of a whole town and all its storylines. Agatha's impressed and envious, "What's your secret, sister?"

Wanda says she didn't do anything and Agatha doesn't like that answer and tosses Wanda around. Now, see, Agatha, much as your coven underestimated you, I think your runic protection is only going to go so far before Wanda decides it doesn't.

"I tried to be gentle, to nudge you awake from this ridiculous fantasy. But, you'd rather fall apart than face your truth." Well, I mean. She's really been through a lot the last few weeks, Agatha. Like A LOT. Oh, and we're going to relive it. She's casting some sort of memory spell on Wanda, taking them back to the vast emptiness, endless nothing Wanda described to Fietro a couple weeks ago. You're not being very nice, Agatha.

"It's time to look at some real reruns." Wanda doesn't want to play along, but Agatha reminds her that she's got her children.

So, through the magic memory door they step, and into a tiny Sokovian apartment, with Wanda's parents. Her father apparently smuggled DVDs of "I Love Lucy" and "Bewitched". Didn't the people of Sokovia suffer enough? Well, he's got "The Addams Family", too. That's okay, I guess.

Little Pietro runs in reminding Mama and Papa that the only rule of TV night is you have to speak English. They call for Wanda and Agatha nudges her to step into the role of little Wanda. Papa says Wanda can pick what they're going to watch, but outside, there's gunfire. Except, I guess it's no big deal, Mama turns away from the window and the street battle below their apartment, while little Wanda says she wants to watch "The Dick Van Dyke Show", season 2, episode 21. Poor kid. Pietro agrees and moans, "Always sitcom, sitcom, sitcom!"

I'm waiting for the Stark Bomb to fall.

Little Wanda is far too enamored of "The Dick Van Dyke Show". Oh! There's the bomb. Pietro grabs her and they hide under the bed and they stare at the Stark Bomb. She and Pietro discuss what to do, while in the background, behind the bomb, the tv continues to play.

Little Wanda reaches out with her magic hand and then big Wanda is yanked out of the memory by Agatha, who demands to know if she stopped the bomb going off. "You used a probability hex?" Wanda says she didn't do anything, the bomb just never went off.

"So, what I see here is a baby witch, obsessed with sitcoms, and years of therapy ahead of her." lol, but harsh. "Where'd you get the big guns, Wanda?" A good question, Agatha. We never did get that answer before, really, did we? Just a sort of vague suggestion of "hydra did stuff to her and pietro maybe?".

"I don't want to go back there." "I know you don't. But it's good medicine, angel. The only way forward, is back."

Through another magic door we go.

Ha, I just paused and saw the title of the ep is "Previously On".

And into the Hydra lab. "Don't be scared, you already lived it once."

Oh, it's Loki's scepter. And the … whichever stone that is. I can't remember, totally lost track of them. Mind stone?

Wanda is in the containment unit with the scepter. The Hydra scientist wants her to do something with the scepter, and jr scientist says that no subject has survived this and lead scientist is like shut up and 'go ahead Wanda, it'll be totally fine'. 

Wanda approaches the scepter and it starts to shake and the stone breaks free and flies at her, but then pauses and they stare at each other. She reaches out for it. Then the blue outer bit of the stone explodes off and underneath is the the yellow stone. Ok, yeah it is the Mind stone.

Lots of dramatic power stuff with Wanda and the stone. She sees a flying silhouetted figure in the light of the stone and then passes out. She survives! I mean, obviously. The Hydra scientists have her sent to isolation where they torture her by making her watch "The Brady Bunch". Well, no, I guess she likes it. Keep this under your hat, but if you ever want to break me, making me watch "The Brady Bunch" could probably do it.

The Hydra scientists meanwhile are trying to figure out what happened, watching the recordings over and over — they don't see the whole stone flying towards Wanda and the subsequent mind meld. She's just standing there, and then falls down.

Agatha sums this up for us "So, little Orphan Wanda got up close and personal with an Infinity Stone that amplified what otherwise would have died on vine. The broken pieces of you are adding up, buttercup. I have a theory, but I need more."

Door number three reveals her digs at the Avengers compound. She is, of course, watching TV. "Malcolm in the Middle." Well, it's better than "The Brady Bunch." The only thing I hate more than "The Brady Bunch" is "The Partridge Family."

"Where are we now?" "The Avengers compound. It was the first home Vision and I ever shared. Pietro was dead, and I was in a new country. I was all alone."

Vision enters through the wall, back when he didn't remember doors existed, and Wanda invites him to sit next to her and watch TV. "It's funny because of the grievous injury the man just suffered?" Vision doesn't get sitcoms either.

Vision sweetly tells her that if she wants to talk about what she's feeling, he'd like to know. "Should you wish to tell me. Should that be of some comfort to you." "What makes you think talking about it would bring me comfort?" "Well, I read a thing—" that's the Tony Stark part of Vision. "The only thing that would bring me comfort is seeing him again." Poor Wanda.

Vision has a little "I don't know how to respond to that" face journey that is subtle but made me laugh.

She apologizes to him. "It's just like this wave washing over me again and again." She says the wave will drown her, but Vision says it won't. 

"It can't all be sorrow, can it?" IS2G if you two make me tear up this morning, I will … not do anything but be kind of annoyed. I have had the worst allergies the last couple of days, don't make me more snotty!

"I've always been alone, so I don't feel the lack. It's all I've ever known. I've never experienced loss, because I've never had a loved one to lose. What is grief, if not love persevering?" Damn you, Vision. At least I have a new box of tissues.

He sees something funny on the telly and laughs then apologizes. She laughs with him, though. "No, it was funny." They smile at each other, cutely awkward.

Even Agatha wipes at the corner of one eye. Though it could be annoyance. Hard to tell.

"So to recap: parents dead, brother dead, Vision dead." You're still a very mean person, Agatha. "What happened when he wasn't there to pull you back from the darkness, Wanda?"

Wanda doesn't want to play this game anymore. Agatha insists. "Tell me how you did it? Vision was gone, but you wanted him back."

Wanda sort of wakes up, "I wanted him back." Door number four takes us to SWORD's ridiculous and massive lobby. Really, what is with the stupidly enormous monitors hovering over the whole absurd place? So stupid. Nobody wants to watch the news that badly or bigly.

Wanda is walking through the lobby — SWORD's security sucks — but contrary to Acting Director Dick's version of the story, Wanda is politely asking the security guy where Vision is. And not throwing red woo-woos or anything. "Please, please. When I came back, he was gone. His body. And I know he's here. He deserves a funeral, at least. I deserve it."

Speaking of AD Dick. He seems to be watching this on the security feed, he calls the security desk and talks to the guard. Wanda spots the camera. But, security guy waves her through, gives her directions to wherever.

Security guy gets up to buzz Wanda in, but she says she's got it, and she opens the door herself. The footage AD Dick used to make her look like a terrorist. I mean, we knew he was a dick, so this is no surprise, but still. Jimmy! Arrest that asshole for aggravated assholery and general shadiness!

Anyway, Wanda's striding down hallways and as she comes even to the Director's door, the security light goes green and beeps so she goes into his office.

There’s polite introductions and whatever. 

"I understand you're here to see the Vision. To recover his body." "Well, I'm his next of kin." "I understand." You're a lying sleazy snake who's been doing shady things with Vision's body. "I'd like to show you something?" "And then you'll give him to me?" No, because he's a scumbag.

He shows her a lab, she's confused, he says it's what she asked to see. And down in the lab are technicians taking Vision's body apart. Obviously, this is horrifying to her. What did Hayward expect to get from showing Wanda that? Like she'd be all "oh, hmm, how fascinating. Look, he's made of wires and such. By all means, cut my boyfriend's robot head off. For science"?

"What are you doing to him?" "We're dismantling the most sophisticated sentient weapon ever made." I think you're a liar pants, Dick. "It's our legal and ethical obligation."

"I just want to bury him. It's all I want." "Are you sure?" "Excuse me?" "Not everyone has the kind of power that could bring their soulmate back online — forgive me — back to life." You are such a sleaze, Dick. They can't get Vision to work again, so why not emotionally manipulate the grieving woman to do it for you. Gross. DIAF Dick.

"No, I can't do that. That's not why I'm here." "Okay, I can't allow you to take three billion dollars worth of vibranium just to put it in the ground." He's the worst. "The best I can do is let you say goodbye to him here."

"He's all I have." "Well, that's just it, Wanda; he isn't yours." Somebody needs to squash this guy like a bug. I don't care who. Wanda, obviously, deserves the honor most, but let her get on with her life, I say. Monica's probably the next best for sure. SOMEBODY THOUGH! Hand Darcy a wrench, she'll take care of it.

Where were we … Oh, Wanda's doing the head tilt of impending magical ass-kickery. She busts through the glass, drops down to the floor of the lab, and a security team runs out to point their guns at her. AD Dick tells them to fall back. Why, his plan's working just perfectly, no need to interfere with the woman he’s making suffer extra.

Wanda walks around Vision's body to his head. And she puts her hand over the giant hole where Thanos ripped out the mind stone. "I can't feel you." Every bit of this, for me, takes AD Dick from a generic loathsome character, to somebody actually disgusting. Do not like.

Wanda can't feel Vision at all, and she walks away, out of the room, out of the SWORD building, leaving the body behind. THIS IS VERY SAD, MARVEL.

She gets into her car, and in the passenger seat is an open envelope, like for a greeting card or something. And off she goes to Westview, New Jersey. A down-on-its-luck small town, full of sad looking people and dirty streets. 

She pulls into the driveway of a property that's overgrown, with just a foundation, no house.

Damn you show. It wasn't an envelope, it was a real estate deed with a plan of the property with a red heart drawn on it, and the words "to grow old in. v." inside. What did Wanda do to deserve this? I mean, fine, she was in Hydra for like a minute, but she wasn't a true believer or anything, and she redeemed herself. Come on. Stupid Marvel, making all the things hurt.

She's crying, you're crying, I'm crying, everybody's crying, as she walks into the foundation of the home that never was. And then it all just comes pouring out of her in a great burst of red light and grief and power. Creating the sitcom world around her and swallowing Westview. Poor Wanda. 

There. There's your answer, Agatha. Are you happy, you big meanie? Go turn AD Dick into a toad, or something, would you?

Hm, from her power, the yellow light of the mind stone starts to separate out, from back when she and it sort of had their moment in the Hydra lab, and out of that Vision is recreated or reborn or reconstituted or … whatever. Then they're in the black and white world of the first ep, and everything is perfect. Damn you, Marvel.

Real world Wanda looks up from where she's standing behind B&W Wanda and Vision and sees it's all just a TV show set. Agatha is in the audience, clapping. She vanishes and Wanda can hear Billy and Tommy screaming for her. She runs off set and into her front yard.

Out on the street, Agatha has the boys on magic leashes.

Agatha says she knows what Wanda is and that "You have no idea how dangerous you are." Well, keep holding her boys with magic ropes around their necks and we'll all find out. Agatha's gone full witchy here, she looks great.

"You're supposed to be a myth. A being capable of spontaneous creation. Here you are, using it to make breakfast for dinner." lol. Hey! I was actually thinking last night that I hadn't made waffles in a while. Breakfast for dinner is its own kind of magic, Agatha. (note to self: check we have syrup)

Wanda is pretty done with Agatha. She wants the boys released.

"Oh yes, your children. Vision. This whole little life you've made; this is chaos magic, Wanda. And that makes you … The Scarlet Witch!" DUN DUN DUN! CREDITS! !!!!

Well that was all very dramatic and sad. A really good episode, really good. Damn you, Marvel. Kathryn Hahn is great, absolutely love her.

Yes, there's a mid-credits scene, btw. F'in AD Dick, for what it's worth, finally putting his Genius Master Plan into action. What a dick. The biggest sack of tiny dicks you ever saw. No really, I hate this guy. I hope Wanda tears him a hundred new ones. Then sets what's left on fire. With her mind. 

Also, he’s dumb. He can’t possibly think he can contain Wanda when she gets a look at his Genius Master Plan, can he? Is he that dumb? Probably, but couldn’t one of his little minions go “um, sir, she did almost defeat Thanos. I suspect this may end catastrophically for us.” 

Do you suppose Darcy’s still stuck in traffic? 

OH NO! There’s only one more episode left. I’m sad about that. This has turned out really quite good. Well done, show. Well done. 

[brave-clarice]

“Clarice” Liveblog: Episodes 5 & 6

Since these are extraordinarily late, I tried to keep them more concise/focused than before. I’m sorry for how long it’s taken me to (almost) catch up. And to the handful of you who’ve enjoyed these and encouraged me to do them: thank you!

Episode 5, “Get Right With God”

the music at the beginning of this episode might just be in the maintenance guy’s headphones(!) but it was still a…Choice.

there’s something so tragic about watching Clarice be unable to use her legs… :’(

this whole scenario feels like a twisted parallel universe version of the end of Hannibal.

glad to see Ardelia finally has her priorities straight and is going to fight for her best friend! let’s forget her Episode 4 subplot ever happened.

good: the warrior finding a weapon even in the direst of circumstances!

bad: those damn moths are back. at least this time they might be drug-induced.

“she worked Bill alone” no, she didn’t. not really. (Hannibal: I’m right here.)

stop trying to make Likable Paul happen, it’s never going to happen!!!

I HATE the “Reesey” nickname, y’all. HATE. IT.

plus, we know that her dad called her “Baby”?

her father’s appearance doubles down on the end-of-Hannibal vibes...Not Sure If Want.

wow, Clarice is being literally tortured? thanks, I hate it!!!

really doubt that Clarice’s Pinto used to belong to her father (who drives a truck in the books??)... weird flex.

and how would she even have gotten it? her mother would either have driven that car into the ground out of necessity or else have sold it for the money the Starlings needed so desperately.

Pintos also weren’t super high-quality cars and were definitely not built to last ~20 years.

Clarice already being able to chat with her father whenever she needs to really undermines the therapy Hannibal will eventually give her, but…I guess they’ve already accepted they’ll never make it that far?

“you’re trying to get in my head” yeah, and she’s doing it, too–’cause she learned from the best!

“you get an answer, I get an answer, Felker.” she’s Hannibal’s girl all right.

this episode’s had flashes of brilliance before diving back into…whatever tf watching one of your favorite characters of all time being tortured is.

I really wanted Ardelia to say that no, but Clarice was like a sister to her.

it took FIVE episodes to get some lamb imagery, but we’ve been looking at moths for the entire season?!

oof, Clarice voicing her own insecurities about her childhood abandonment and using them to twist Felker’s arm...painful but smart.

HANNAH!!!

I would die 4 baby Clarice

after all that, Clarice is going to apologize to Ardelia about last week? this episode SUCKS.

Good: Clarice playing mind games with Felker like Hannibal did to her; Ardelia going to bat for her bestie, lamb flashbacks, baby Clarice, and HANNAH!

Bad: So much. Clarice being medically tortured multiple times, moth hallucinations, the several-years-premature (imo) Daddy-as-Guardian-Angel plot device, “Reesey”...did I mention Clarice getting repeatedly tortured?!

Ugly: Krendler backstory + making out with his wife. Ew.

Wow, this episode was a hot mess, and I kind of hated it. I loved Clarice’s really Hannibalesque approach to Felker, and I’m so thrilled that Hannah got mentioned at all (tho...did they need to be so heavy-handed with the helmet and gun and everything?) Also nice to see Ardelia behaving much more in-character. That said, it was sickening and imo totally unnecessary to further traumatize Clarice the way they did. To make her almost helpless.

Clarice, and by extension Rebecca Breeds (who is fantastic and deserves better), has been given very little range so far. She’s frequently been shown as miserable, afraid, desperate, traumatized, angry, resentful, but I also want to see her joyful, laughing, silly, relaxed...something else that will give her depth. Her life wasn’t miserable 24/7, 365. It was just unfulfilling. We got glimpses of this in the first two episodes. PLEASE bring it back!

And rn I’m questioning how Clarice’s career can possibly drag on for another six years after this. Her apparent PTSD is already interfering with her job performance as it is--this experience is only going to make it worse. Her “body count” in Hannibal was around five, iirc, and that was enough to slap her with the “Death Angel” moniker. In the show at least four people have died in close proximity to Clarice in the space of like...a week. How does she come back from that, even as the savior of Catherine Martin? It’s a PR nightmare for obth Clarice and the FBI.

They’ve also sort of forgotten that the Martins existed while continuing to flesh out Krendler’s (?!) character? It’s weird.

I almost don’t even want to watch Episode 6 after that. But here goes...

Episode 6, “How Does It Feel to Be So Beautiful?”

the freaking MOTHS again, I hate them!

frankly, yeah, Clarice should be on leave.

Clarice’s nondescript monochrome suits and constant ponytail are just so boring. in the book she’s described as never having to put effort into making her hair look good--so why is it always pulled back in this show?

I’m not sure it’s very in-character for Clarice, at this point in her career, to go over her boss’s head to get out of admin leave (one she really needs to take tbh) even for the sake of solving a case

lol what the actual hell @ AG Martin guilt-tripping Clarice, who was very recently tortured and almost died, for not calling Catherine back? Clarice is not Catherine’s therapist!

THIS is what my Vogue-reading heroine with burgeoning great taste wears for a night out? so disappointing.

never in my life did I think I’d be sitting through Krendler’s personal drama in a show ABOUT CLARICE STARLING.

her costume sucks and her hairstyle’s from years in the future, but dang does Clarice look gorgeous.

and I love thinking of her getting a taste of the luxury she’ll enjoy with Hannibal. :)

you know what? I think I was actually fine with them forgetting that the Martins were in this show.

whyyy is Krendler being made so sympathetic?!

now Catherine Martin “loved to sew” just like Frederica Bimmel? hmm. (tbf, maybe this is in the novel, and I’ve just forgotten.)

her gift for Clarice is sweet, though.

so beautiful, indeed

Christ on a cracker, that confrontation between the Martins was painful to watch (not a criticism). this show’s AG and her daughter are very much two of a kind in terms of emotional manipulation.

I stan one (1) doofus

now either Catherine’s gaslighting Clarice...or Clarice’s trauma (over BILL! again with this!) is so pervasive that it’s twisted her memories. either way, I hate it.

so Krendler’s lawyer is dirty and that’s why he’ll (probably) turn against Clarice? but WHY? why can’t Krendler just suck?

Good: Clarice looking gorgeous, Ardelia continuing to fight for Clarice, female characters in positions of authority everywhere

Bad: Clarice’s underwhelming costumes, Clarice’s primary/worst trauma apparently STILL being Buffalo Bill & having Clarice break down crying again (and NOT over what happened last week, which would tbh make a lot more sense).

Sad: Shaan’s backstory about his wife, everything involving Catherine

Ugly: Krendler subplot. Ugh.

I just don’t know how I feel about this installment. Wish I cared more about the overarching conspiracy plot, but I’m really only here for Clarice and Ardelia. And while no show can stand on the shoulders of a single character, for a show about Clarice, there seems to be quite a bit of screentime devoted to her bosses, Martin and Krendler, and even to her team members. And all without Clarice herself getting much character development. They don’t seem to be exploring much of her character other than her traumatic backstories, and I’m no longer very hopeful that she’ll be much more fleshed out in the last four episodes, either. It’s a bummer. I really think Rebecca could shine like Jodie did if she were given a chance.

Most of the scenes with the Martins were visceral and felt so real that it was hard to watch. That said...the AG Martin/Catherine content all strikes me as being somewhat detached from the rest of the show, as if the writers are making it up as they go along with no real end goal in mind.

Man...these two were rough going. Very little humor or warmth and absolutely no joy. Of course the source material is dark, so a somewhat dark crime drama is to be expected, but I really think the show needs a slightly less intense, bleak and (dare I say it?) unpleasant episode. But they writers have really dug themselves into a hole by zeroing in on Clarice’s PTSD. And unlike in Hannibal, there’s no love interest with whom she (and by extension, the audience) can flee her misery and pain. 

I'm cautiously optimistic about the rest of the season. A lot of the ingredients are there, and despite my many criticisms, it’s been great to spend time with a character I love. Fingers crossed that they finish strong!