#tbh most of my good lyrics have been cooked up while driving

[thelightintheattic]

they should invent a machine that records all the insanely good lyrics I come up with on my drive to class that I forget within 10 minutes

[amphii-writes]

Random Haikyuu Head Canons I Have

these are all taken from my discord server cause i remember to write them there, if you want to request fanfics, my requests are W I D E open! there is also nO order! these are just all the headcanons i could find tbh

warnings: mentions of blood, and just overall wild times, swearing

Asahi loves knitting sweaters because his shoulders are broad and he also loves seeing the reactions from his teammates when they get a sweater from him! He says he buys them but he doesn’t

Aone likes knitting socks because he has big feet and he loves fluffy knee high socks but his team will never know

Asahi and Aone regularly hang out and knit together! (after asahi wasnt scared of him anyways)

Nishinoya gives you shiny rocks he finds because “your eyes shine like them!”

Yamaguchi likes to have your head rest on his chest while cuddling!

Aone likes to bake

Aone dressed like a polar bear because koganegawa told him to- halloween was amazing

daICHI HAS A KISS THE COOK APRON

Daichi secretly can make some kick ass steak and is amazing at grilling sorry

Okay but real talk, Kenma and Yaku swear like sailors and it scares everyone because they always whisper the most foul, insulting things under their breath. Hearing it is like seeing a cryptid

Speaking of cryptids, Fukunaga and Shibayama are THE most true crime, mythology, and mystery obsessed fanatics on the team and often fanboy about it together 

Fukunaga’s obsession with moth man has gotten to an unhealthy stage

Kenma absolutely had a vampire phase and has read twilight. Only Kuroo knows and has sworn to secrecy via blood pact

Kuroo’s a musical nerd. Knows all of the lyrics to Hamilton, BMC, DEH, Heathers, Rent, Beetlejuice, Etc. Kenma considered dropping him because of it

Iwaizumi tells the worst dad jokes and Kyotani, wanting to beat him, started doing it too and it drives everyone insane

Yahaba and Matsukawa get along surprisingly well. Both are true crime freaks and bond over their forensic files obsessions

Matsukawa didn’t really like his thick eyebrows so he got one of his female friends to pluck it for him, but almost cried and gave up after the first hair. Oikawa called him a pussy for the next year

Hanamaki jokingly flirts with everyone on the team so most of them just got used to it, but it still confuses Kindaichi to the point of mental breakdown

Makki called Kyotani ‘puppy’ as a joke once and now mad dog is truly terrified of him

Kyotani’s dog absolutely ADORES Oikawa and it’s the funniest shit to the rest of the team

Mattsun and Makki play DnD and once convinced Yahaba and Kyotani to join. Kyotani kept rolling to fight everyone and Yahaba was a bard that kept rolling to seduce everyone. They kept yelling across the board so they had to kick them out

Outside of his school uniform, Goshiki specifically wears only plaid

Tendou makes little chocolates for the whole team every once in a while so they don’t think he’s scary

Semi and Shirabu once had a fistfight in an abandoned McDonald’s parking lot while Tendou filmed and Goshiki cheered them on

Everybody makes fun of Shirabu’s haircut but nobody dares to say it to his face. its gotten to the point where they say he got it done by a blind old lady

There’s a running joke about Shirabu also getting his haircut from prison but Goshiki is starting to suspect that it may not be a joke

Yamagata and Tendou are good friends with the mutual goal of collecting as much blackmail on their team as possible

Tendou loves animals generally considered to be ‘ugly’ like rats, crows, reptiles, etc.

80% of Goshiki’s playlist is shit overplayed on the radio. Him, Shirabu, Tendou, Kawanishi and Ushijima have a permanent ban from the aux cord

Nobody watches YouTube with Ushijima because he never skips the damn ads (other than tendou)

Suna once said y’all’dn’t’ve unironically and made a first year cry

Akagi once said UwU unironically and had an identity crisis.

Osamu has one of those rainbow gaming keyboards and is constantly on a discord call. Atsumu always yells weird shit in the background to embarrass him and once pretended to be him

During Seijoh group chat arguments. Hanamaki and Mattsukawa like to drop facebook minion memes in just to piss everyone off even more

mattsun and maki both have separate photo albums in their phones labelled ‘minion memes to piss everyone off’

Hinata carries a pocket knife and no one has no fucking idea why

mattsun and maki both have matching rat fursuits that look like they actually where in a sewer- they chased oikawa around

For all his talk of plant analogies and metaphors, Ushijima cant grow shit

Goshiki’s Bangs are the way they are because his favorite character was Rock Lee from Naruto

Oikawa has watched Ouran High School Host Club front to back so many times and he can quote all of Tamaki’s lines by heart -He keeps bothering Iwaizumi to “be his Haruhi, since you’re shorter than me”

Koganegawa has definitely gone as an Angry Bird for Halloween

Fukunaga has those reflective cat eyes, and he has terrified Yamamoto on several occasion

Hanamaki and Matsukawa have a teddy bear that they pretend is their child and they share custody

Suga always sprays whipped cream straight into his mouth whenever he sees a can

Nishinoya definitely bit people as a kid

Nishinoya would be the guy to wear shorts all year round and even if it's snowing, he'll insist he's not cold

Tendou is still stuck in his emo phase and would fangirl over Creepypasta with me and I appreciate that (me too buddy, me fuckin too)

Kyoutani LOOKS like he’d listen to viking death metal, but in reality he listens to Mother Mother and knows all the words to Ghosting

Sugawara would definitely encourage me to dumb shit and not stop me, and you’re all dumb for thinking he wouldn’t 

KENMA IS NOT ‘uwu owo’ SHY, HE IS ‘your fucking gross’ SHY SO LITERALLY STFU

Bokuto listens to Nicki Manaj. And knows all the words. To every. Single. Song.

Ushijima for some reason knows an odd amount of 90′s-2000′s R&B and he will hum along to the songs if they come on the radio (he also loves Dolly Parton) ((he says he relates to her music))

Bokuto once ate instant ramen for an entire month

TERUSHIMA DID TRY TO FUCK A PLANT WHILE SHITFACED AND GOD I STAND BY WHAT I SAID

atsumu let’s you put makeup on him and pretends to eat the brushes (do yk what im talking about- like n o m)

tendou ran for school president as a joke but actually won

i 100% believe that all of karasuno’s third years apologize when they bump into inanimate objects, but when suga is really tired or stressed out, he’ll yell at them instead.

Tanaka, Nishinoya, and Taketora have a group chat called "Bros who want sum hoes" and they send each other hypebeast memes and shit

Sugawara knows how to do a bunch of flexible shit because he sometimes goes to yoga with daichi and asahi's moms, its fucking hilarious

tanaka and noya both breakdance- they work as a team and sometimes go to tokyo for underground competitions- saeko drives them

Daichi knows a little ballet- nobody other than Kiyoko knows because they saw each other at the ballet class and had to work together- dont tell tanaka and noya that he lifted her though

Osamu once put glitter on Atsumu's pillow- he still finds hot pink glitter on shit

kita knits and crochets with his grandma

Kita's grandma knows everyone's names because kita talks shit bout them, her favorite is Aran

Kuroo has burnt his eyebrows off doing an experiment. His goggles didn't cover all his brows,,, so he just showed up to practice like that. No eyebrows and a chemical burn

kenma has played all kinds of games, but he was dared to play corpse party by kuroo. He wasn't scared because of the gore, he was thinking about the trauma the characters went through. Punched kuroo the next day because that game was fucked up

Lev isn't a strong swimmer, so he often grabs people by the head to keep himself up. happened with kenma and lev couldn't walk due to the force of kenmas suprised water kicks

akaashi has those fancy pens that you have to dip in ink and they're so nice

Bokuto has and will eat pencil erasers again

Daichi once almost lost his shit at his team but instead he lost his shit at the door that decided to stub his toe on the way out of the gym. not the best thing to be found yelling to.

Yamaguchi for sure has been dragged to one of terushimas parties because he didnt wanna say no. oh and terushima has like frat boy level parties too. Yams has for sure had some wild nights and doubts anyone other than Tsukishima and the party-goers will ever know

Akaashi can actually flirt very well! He reads romance novels sometimes and has analyzed any and every book in his possession! so he's actually quite charming

Daihsou unironically posted on twitter after mika broke up with him "I still see her shadows in my room"

Mattsun and Maki run a fake oikawa account; its been going ever since twitter even started getting popular and they even started sending messages in spanish. The posts would range from "I love all my fans!" to flirting with them :) Oikawa is pissed cause the account got verified before he did and most of his fans also follow the fake oikawa. Tooru has no idea who runs it JUST IMAGINE OIKAWA JUST LIKE RANTING TO THE SEIJOH 3RD YEAR ALUMNI AND JUST "no Iwa-chan, you dont understand! they run a fake account and pretend to be me!" while makki and mattsun laugh their asses off

Oh, kenma for sure has pretended to be a girl on discord and has gotten someone to buy him stuff. after they do he says in his normal voice "fucking simp" and then hangs up and blocks the other persons discord

Yamamoto, despite his rough appearance, loves kids and has and will be a human jungle gym

suna in middle school had a game with his friends about who could make kids cry the fastest

The twins switched places back in middle school and nobody could tell because of how great they are at acting like eachother

Daichi once arrested coach ukai for public intoxication after a game :|

Daichi has arrested many people from his old volleyball team but the most memorable case was when he arrested tanaka and noya for reckless driving. poor idiots got so scared when they saw their old captains face in their mirror and started to pray

tanaka, while trying to intimidate someone, once said "You dont gotta tell me twice, i may be straight but these hands are bisexual" and he often cringes at night thinking about it

Kageyama, as a comeback to Tsukishima, said "one thing about us royalty is that we love to feast" and he also fuckin hates what he said

the third years made a cult for Kiyoko. they chant every wednesday "i'll do anything for kiyoko, she makes me go loco"

oikawas fangirls are known to be fucking rabid

yAMAMOTO AND KENMA AFTER THEIR FIGHT WERE FORCED BY KUROO TO MAKE IT UP: so they dyed their hair together

Makki and mattsun sang two trucks in front of the entire team. everyone was so confused. Makki: "twO TRUCKS HAVIN SEX!!" Mattsun: "oH yEs!"THEY'D SWITCH OFF AND HAVE LIKE CHOREOGRAPHY TOO LIKE THEY'D DO A TANGO WHILE THE SONG IS LIKE "two beer trucks, making love"

tendou once called Oikawa "mr. no-nationals" and got kicked in the shins before iwaizumi could save him

Tsukishima had a my little pony phase

you work with matsukawa at a morgue and he makes dead people jokes while you fix some dead guys face with wax and makeup he'd be like "so didnt he like,,, stick his head out of the sunroof of a moving fuckin car??" he'd be singing dumb ways to die the entire day

i feel like Kuroo has one crazy accident a year. like it might not be deadly but its fucking crazy like for example: Kuroo for sure has ridden in a shopping cart at past midnight with kenma (who pushed him down a hill) causing Kuroo to get scratched up hella well. he lied and said he spent the night with a girl and kenma fucking hated himself cause he would be the girl if that was true

Mattsun has flirted with the 4th years moms before (AS A JOKE), and because of this: he is known as “fuckin milf hunter” sometimes by the team

Warning, this next headcanon is talking about cannabis, weed, mary jane, the zoink root. so if your uncomfortable, please dont read below :)

dude i wanna get high as SHIT with Asahi 

i think Asahi would be one of those mfkers who takes one hit and is gone 

ASAHI ACCIDENTALLY GOING TO PRACTICE ZOINKED 

IMAGINE HIM SEEING TSUKISHIMA AND JUST "he looks so judgemental,,, im scared" 

OR LIKE A MAD DAICHI AND JUST "i'm gonna,,, im gonna go jump out the window now" 

Noya and Tanaka would know tho, i feel like they'd have a 6th sense when it comes to weed. they probably get some from Saeko cause she'd rather they do it in the house. they'd smell asahi like fucking dogs and just so,,, big guy had fun without us huh? 

DAICHI WOULD KNOW ABOUT ASAHI BEING ZOINKED, SMASH HIS FACE INTO THE WALL, TURN AROUND WITH A RED MARK ON HIS FOREHEAD AND WITH A BEAMING SMILE AND FEUX ENTHUSIASM SAY: "YOSH, LETS WARM UP!"

[minyoonsh]

;nct 127 reaction to

you slapping their ass

and then running away;

idek know what this is.. but i has it in my drafts so. i guess this is kinda crack lol.

this is kinda long

also there’s swearing in this poop, so just watch out..idk

also. some of these are longer than the others, i try to not put any favoritism into this. bcs that’s kinda unfair. so if one of them r longer than the other please don’t get offended. i’m not trying to offend anyone here.

mark

i think mark’s immediate reaction would be just shocked. he was in the studio with some of his members going through some lyrics, when you ripped the door open and smacked his ass before running out yelling, “i’m going to school now, byeee.” and not even a second later you were gone. the other members had different reactions, some had a slick smirk on their face. and some others were just shocked. but most of them were laughing uncontrollably.

mark didn’t really mind it, he would definitely get back at you. he just needed the right timing first.

taeyong

would be shocked as you stood there frozen with your hand still on his butt. you didn’t except that you had guests, and when you ran into the kitchen feeling mischievous. you didn’t see the others on the other side of the room looking at taeyong.

taeyong’s face turned red as he moved a little away from you and you immediately moved your hand back. you weren’t that embarrassed, but you knew taeyong was. his ears and face a quite obvious red. “uhh.. i didn’t know we had guests.” you said and went to grab something to snack on. and since your voice broke the silence the other guys broke into laughter and you looked over at taeyong who was smiling awkwardly at you. you walked over to him and whispered “im sorry baby.” and you kissed his cheeks.

“wow ____, i didn’t know you were into or that stuff.” lucas said with a smug face.

taeil

would be kinda similar to taeyongs reaction. but with much more awkwardness radiating off of him. you once smacked his ass as a joke when he was cooking something. but seeing as he became flustered and shy when it happened. it turned into a regular thing, you tried not to do it too often so that he would stop reacting to it. but it was so tempting when he stood there talking with his member about god knows what. his ass just waiting to be smacked.

you decided to do it anyway, but causal tho. you just walked past normally, pretending that you were going to get something from that side of the room. while you did, you slapped his ass not to hard but you could practically feel how tensed he was as your hand made contact with his ass.

the other members started laughing immediately. sure they have seen taeil be flustered before, but not to this point. “babeeee!” he whisper shouted at you as his ears burned red.

“it was too tempting.” you said and blinked before returning to your room.

johnny

ever since johnny had been on that show where he made the remark, “oh daddy!” let’s just say that you still hadn’t left it alone. you were cleaning that day and decided to put the tv on in the background since you remembered that his appearance was today. you felt calm hearing his voice and his laughter, but as soon as you heard johnny said his remark or whatever you would call it. you bursted out laughing.

you couldn’t believe your boyfriend did that, on tv. (idek if the show was on tv just hang in there lol)

so ever since that, every time there was a nice moment for it. you would smack your hand over his ass and say “oh daddy!” loud. but of course, there was one time the joke backfired. johnny was in the kitched making some drink or whatever. and you decide this was the perfect moment for one of your ‘jokes’. johnny didn’t actually mind them that much, as long as you were in private. of course. so when you yelled out “oh daddy!” and there was a loud smack echoing through the room. and the silence that was followed by it. you turned around and saw jisung, chenle & haechan witting on the couch with wide eyes and blush on their cheeks.

this time it was johnny’s turn to laugh “lol.” he said as he walked into the living room with the glasses acting like nothing happened.

(mom i love him ^^)

yuta

omfg this guy would be so cocky abt it holy shit. when you walked into the practice room and this time you didn’t smack his ass you just grabbed it and pulled him into a kiss. “heyy babe.” you said smiling. you knew that the others were watching, yuta had said to you that he loved it when you did stuff like that. he found it sexy. so you decided this was the perfect chance. “i missed you.” he said and hugged you. but after the hug you sat down on the couch and watched yuta as he was stretching.

mark and jaehyun were staring at yuta so he looked over at them with the biggest smirk on his lips and opened his mouth to say “what?” his voice sounded normal. the other two went back to stretching but definitely wondered what the hell that was. yuta looked back at you and winked before continuing again.

doyoung

i feel like this boi would be kinda flustered, but in a good way i guess. his heart would actually flutter at your action. and you knew damn well that he had that kind of reaction (rhyme lmao). you loved watching his cheeks go pink and starting to fidget on something, often your shirt. it was mostly you who had to initiate skinship, and when you did he absolutely loved it. adored it. so when you did that action for the first time as a joke, he kinda liked it. (not in a dirty way u hoes) and when you did it one day in front of his buddies. he still got the same reaction, maybe just a bit more blush to his cheeks. the others looked at him with cheeky smiles on their faces.

you would put your arms around him and try to make him even more flustered. “babyy stooop.” he would whine cutely, but he sure didn’t actually want you to let go. and thankfully you knew that.

jaehyun

i feel like he’d get kinda mad about it if it was in front of his members, or he would act like it was nothing. depending on who it was with him and which mood he was in. this time, it was taeyong & johnny he was hanging with. playing video games, laying around doing nothing really. they had a week of and that wasn’t so normal. but after a few days they started to miss each other, so they met up. but the first few days had just been you and jaehyun. going to dinners and romantic dates.

but today jaehyun had been teasing you for every little thing, your height, your pronounciaton & your laugh. and you wanted to get back at him with slapping him hard af right on his ass. you weren’t feeling childish at all. you walked into the livingroom. pretending to watch the movie that was on. “babe, could you get me a glass of water?” you said in a cute voice and you knew he wouldn’t say no. he smiled at you and stood up. and as soon as he did that you smacked him hard as fuuck right on his coochie.

you started laughing like a maniac and the two others joining in. all three laughing at jaehyun’s shocked face.

“that’s what you get for teasing me hyunieeee.”

winwin

idk about how this boy would react tbh. i think maybe he would get a bit embarrassed, but nothing much. not blushing or anything like that, maybe a little proud lmao. he was in the practice room in the middle of practicing cherry bomb for one of his upcoming performances. you watched how he danced and you loved it so much. as soon as he was done you run up to his sweaty figure and hugged him. he doesn’t really like skinship with others in public but he let this one go. “what are you doing here?” he asked and looked down at you. the truth was that you were nearby and just wanted to stop by. “just wanted to do this.” you said and smacked him on his ass super fast and then a kiss on the cheek almost as fast as that. and the you ran out of there like there was no tomorrow.

he immediately ran after you, “you’re gonna get it!” he said, laughing at how childish you two were.

his other members didn’t really mind, but their choreographer did. “hey! sicheng! come back!” he yelled after you two. “there’s no use.” mark said while tying his shoes.

haechan

had been driving you nuts all day, clinging to you like wax. only leaving you when you were in the bathroom. and even if you loved it when he was affectionate and sweet, it gets a bit to much right? so you were relieved when some of his members came over and he immediately stopped clinging to you. he tried to do it when they weren’t watching but they sure as hell weren’t blind. they knew he wanted to hang with you and not with them, so just as they stood up from the couch they heard a loud smack from upstairs and a loud voice followed.

“you little child, you don’t get to call me clingy! you are the clingy one!” you said as you spanked him like a child. “____! stooop.” he whined.

the door opened and you two froze as for curious eyes peeked in. what they saw were you standing face to face your hands on his butt and his face almost in your boobs. “yeez, we just wanted to tell you that we’re leaving.” he said. “finally.” haechan sighed and went to follow them to the front door. and when he came back he almost tackled you on the bed and stated tickling you. (no dirty stuff y’all)

ps: i didn’t proof-read this

leave requests for reactions, it’s fun to write:)

[officialmollymauktealeaf]

I always like hearing about OCs, so could you do a playlist for Bladen or Oz (or maybe one you haven't talked about as much)?

A new challenger approaches after seven years! And for taking so long I’d like to make up for it by explaining my reasoning behind each song. They’ll be in no particular order and McFucking extensive in the lyric explanation I am so sorry (Like this shit is really fucking long and it’s best to just look at the titles and yeet) 

1. Hey Look Ma, I Made It by Panic! At The DiscoThis song is honestly just… taken as fucking spitefully as possible. His mother abandoned him and here he fucking is? A loving partner and three beautiful, strong children who he will go to his grave defending and swearing they are all destined for greatness. 

Are you ready for the sequel? (I take this as him talking about his boys)I’m gonna be the greatest (Bladen’s thirst for power)

And if you never know who you can trustThen trust me, you’ll be lonely, oh (Referring to those childhood years where everyone except his foster father was an enemy)

2. Boy in The Bubble by Alec Benjamin This song is for his foster dad. Bladen was technically a sheltered child with no real connections except for that man who greatly worried for him. It reminds me of him because Bladen never wanted fights but even knowing what the results could be 

Punch my face, do it ‘cause I like the pain (Reminds him he’s alive)Every time you curse my nameI know you want the satisfaction, it’s not gonna happen (Bladen is nothing if not prideful. He knew what the kids wanted and he refused)Come the lightning and the thunderYou’re the one who’ll suffer, suffer (He always knew that the one that would regret it most are the people making life hell for him)

3. IMNOTYOURBOYFRIENDBABY by 3OH!3It’s half a joke song? He’s a horny son of a bitch I’ll be honest he’ll fuck almost anything that moves but miss him with that commitment bullshit. But there’s a verse that makes it less of a joke 

Kill the lightsThese children learn from cigarette burns Fast cars, fast women and cheap drinksIt feels right  All these asphyxiated, self-medicatedTake the white pill, you’ll feel alright (He’s learned that experience is the best teacher, regardless of how harmful it is in the end)

4. Unheavenly Creatures by Coheed and CambriaI’m gonna keep it real with you, chief. This playlist? Half of it is about how fucking much he loves his partner. He lives and breathes for her and if she fucking told him to die for her he would. 

We were young and had it all figured outShe was the quiet one and I had the mouthUntil she fell to me We escaped through the alley in the back Judge told me, “creature, don’t you dare go back!”But I couldn’t dodge the ringing in my headThe lonely, subtle voice, through the echoes as it said“Please don’t leave me here, my love”(Like I mentioned in the backstory, he had a plan and so did she. But then they really just forgot the plan, ran away, and decided all they needed was each other. He really still does feel guilty for taking her away from that life of luxury and, as he would say, dooming her into raising children [not that she ever minded? She loves them all so much])

There was something I forgot to tell her thenBetween the kiss and “knock 'em dead, kid”“There will be no other like you” (I don’t know what to tell you man he just fucking loves her and feels like he doesn’t tell her enough? As years go by he starts panicking about how he’ll outlive her. Every wrinkle on her face is a reminder that he’ll lose her)

5. As The World Falls Down by David BowieI fucking told you bro he just loves her. Side note: this cover? Fucking superb holy shit

As the pain sweeps through,Makes no sense for youEvery thrill is goneWasn’t too much fun at all,But I’ll be there for youAs the world falls down (He feels guilty about what she had to go through, being a vessel and all and now seeing her children carry that same risk because of his dumb choices and how he blindly sought out power. It’s not until years later that he realizes how much of a mistake it was and all he can promise her is being there for her through it all) 

6. Saint Bernard by Lincoln Tell me where I came from, what I will always be:Just a spoiled little kid who went to Catholic school (He really is just a brat and while not catholic, he was part of a faith and that cult will forever be a part of him) When I am dead, I won’t join their ranksBecause they are both holy and free (This part is referring to his first cult because at one point he lost the faith he had in their deity, the deity that left the cult free in a sense due to them having something to live for)And I’m in Ohio, satanic and chained upAnd until the end, that’s how it’ll be (He’s the polar opposite of the cult, his chains are exactly that. The difference he bears from them and it’s a secret he’ll carry until he either dies or gets caught which could easily be the same)

7. Take Me Dancing by Will Joseph Cook Surprise! Another song about him loving her partner. This is an early days song, back when he was trying to win her over 

And as I fall into the bottle bank [broken glass] You can make me into anythingAs long as I’m reflecting you (Bladen always saw the good in her. If him being broken by her meant he’d be reshaped into anything even remotely similar to her he wouldn’t have cared) 

Don’t let this loveWell I could be the answer toAll of your prayersTake me dancing (Once he really started to fall for her, since that day one, all he ever wanted was for her to give him a spin)

8. Save My Soul by Big Bad Voodoo Daddy Man this is one of the quintessential Bladen songs in my book. The rhythm, the words, and just the general aura of it 

I consider myself lucky to have fallen in loveWith a girl, the city and the river of mud (He of course means Lilith and the place they’ve been hiding/living at) 

Let me knowWhere I can go to save my soul (That deal with a devil eventually started to eat at him and he just wants redemption)I’ve heard Gabriel singin’ & playin’ his hornAnd lived to see the day both my babies were born (Rapture is always close behind him, or at least he feels like. His one consolation are his children and how they’ll carry out that legacy of his)

9. I’m Not a Saint by Billy Raffoul This one really fucks me up for him? This one is for when he’s entering those early thirties, seeing the real impact of all he’s done and just… reflecting to his best extent. 

Had the taste of one too many lips hanging of my tongue, oh, oh (He’s had way too many partners, not that him or Lilith mind, but those lips brought some unforeseen responsibilities (more kids than he knows what to do with))  Sunday morning getting high, drinking here alone (Alone being what he’s now afraid of)Thinking up a brand new alibi for not coming home, oh, oh (He tends to disappear more than he should) And I’m sorry I lie so much (It’s all he knows how to do but he really is sorry) 

Lord knows I don’t learn from mistakesAnd I’m not here unless I’m here by your sideI’m not a saint, but I could be if I tried (He starts to realize a lot near this age and all he wants to do is try. For her and for his children. They’re no longer some experiments in a cold search for power. They’re part of his life and he’s ready to dedicate himself to them but at this point it’s more than too late.) 

10. Came Out Swinging by The Wonder Years This was one of the first songs I ever considered for him, tbh? It’s just such an optimistic song with the right amount of sad. This one is a mix of his early days and him nearing an older age

I’m running on empty The late nights and the long drives start to get to meI’m just so tired. (He’s been running around for a while. Oz is Lord knows where at the danger of being possessed at any moment, Mordei hates him and refuses to acknowledge him at this point, and his eldest has adopted their last name as their first name and is undead) I spent this year as a ghost and I’m not sure what I’m looking for. (This is in his youth, him just… searching)

I spent this year as a ghost and I’m not sure where home is anymore (Once again in his youth where lines started to blur) 

My body feels rejected and I can’t say that I blame itMy heart keeps saying stay youngMy lower back seems to disagree (The contract was too keep him looking young, never aging so at later years it really takes a toll on him. He stops feeling like himself at some point and his body becomes more of an accessory)

And I spent the winter writing songs about getting betterAnd if I’m being honest, I’m getting there (This is a mid point in his life, this is after realizing how much he actually needs to try) 

[dykedykegooses]

i'm askin u every single even numbered question for the lesbian ask game

at least you didnt bother with the algebra this time, for which i am thankful

Femme or butch?

i’m more femme but i try to act butch sometimes and i just end up failing hopelessly. ‘look mom i know how to put air in a tire!!’ ‘peyton thats like… not even right’ or ‘oh SHIT look at that blitz!! that was cool’ ‘peyton that was a sack’ ‘oh’

Do you have a “type”? If so, describe it

not really, mostly just like… humor. if u funny we click

Plaid button-ups or leather jackets?

why not both?

no but seriously plaid tbh

Describe your style

um yes

converse, (ripped? sometimes) jeans, and whatever top i feel is appropriate for the Big Aesthetic today

Describe your aesthetic

yes

ive tried going more punk but its just kinda , not worked

my physical aesthetic is very adultolescent. i got chub and look like a freshman but ive been told i pass as a college senior so like

my Big Mood aesthetic is yes

Favorite article of clothing?

either my converse or my “”combat boots”” (theyre not and it makes me sound like an edgelord just saying that) (can you tell im gay)

OH WAIT I FORGOT ABOUT MY JEAN JACKET its like baggy and light and ive started sewing patches from my favorite bands on it (super punk right)

Favorite pair of shoes?

^^^

oh my black strappy heels, theyre surprisingly comfortable

Current haircut?

ive got a bleached bob rn

Any haircut goals for the future?

i kinda want a pixie cut bc i cant handle long hair however long hair is so PRETTY and wow

Describe the best date you’ve been on

iiiiiiiiii dont really know. ive been on very few. i have a Perfect Date in mind, and i guess my favorite was my first date with my ex. we had gotten back from a successful science competition (HAVE I MADE IT OBVIOUS IM A NERD YET IM A BIG OL NERD) and it was like midnight by the time we got back and we were both starving so we went to taco bell and just sat there talking and laughing and i know we were pissing off the staff, but we stayed til like two in the morning and we went home and honestly we both considered it a date but we didnt like… tell each other it was a date? if that makes sense? idk honestly im triggered

Describe the worst date you’ve been on

ugh oh god i went on a tinder date and this girl like in the DMs was like ‘hey do u smoke weed’ and im like ‘lol no’ and then like we made plans to meet up at a coffee shop and she asks me AGAIN if i smoke weed and im like……………. no and shes like ‘oh right lol’ well THIS BITCH sleeps through the time we were supposed to meet, completely stands me up, and then texts me back like an hour later and was like ‘omg im sorry i overslept!!!’ and it was like….. noon but ok so we meet up after my class and we just sit there really awkwardly trying to make conversation and she asks me AGAIN if i smoke weed im like ‘honey no i dont’ and we just talked about drugs for a while and when i left because i had to gtfo she like gave me an awkward hug and like i sent a text later that night bc im courteous and im like ‘hey i had a great time today’ (i didnt) ‘lmk if you ever want to meet up again!!’ and she just. ignored me lol.

Single? Taken?

im currently in a polyamorous relationship with myself and my anxiety

If taken, talk about your girlfriend/wife!

:)

If single, what are you looking for in a potential girlfriend/wife?

someone who’s able to make me laugh and deal with my bad ideas and will let me cook for her and wants to travel the world with me

Describe your dream wedding

its small. outside. maybe in a field or in front of a lake. i dont personally want a big ballgown, just a short white dress will do. lavenders everywhere. R A I N B O W  C A K E. reception where we slow dance to all the sappy romance songs. its great.

Do you want kids?

not really, but ive considered being a foster parent. i feel like im here to do good; i don’t want to have my own biological children, and im not sure i want to have the permanent responsibility of adopting a kid, but i feel i could handle fostering once we’re financially stable and have the room to accept children into our home.

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

spain, definitely. somewhere in the north. i want to have a small farm with goats and chickens and vegetables and i want to be away from this american mess.

Favorite lesbian movie?

well ysee…………. the only two explicitly lesbian movies ive seen have been ‘all about E’ and ‘blue is the warmest color’ and i didnt like either of the lmfaoooo i prefer watching lesbian television shows tbqh (or, most commonly, just rewriting all the female characters in my head to be sapphic sooooooo dont @ me)

Favorite lesbian novel/story?

i mean same as above, i dont read as much as i like to. however, i did read “georgia peaches and other forbidden fruit” and that was Really Good and i did read another that was slightly better, but i forget the name but it was about a pakistani (?) girl who was struggling to come out to her parents bc they were very traditionalist but she joins the theater and her like really elite school and the girl she had a crush on basically outs her and is a bitch about it and GOD i wish i could remember it because it was really good

Favorite lesbian song?

ummmmmmmmmmmm i just recently listened to ‘honey’ by kehlani and that was pretty good and pretty gay, but my personal favorite is ‘girls’ by beatrice eli bc holy shit what a Mood

Favorite lesbian musician?

i love mary lambert and beatrice eli.

What lesbian stereotypes do you fit into, if any?

ummmmm now that im thinking of them i cant think of any. i used to play softball and soccer? i love cats. i immediately start planning out the next five years of our lives together anytime im remotely interested in a girl?

Ever been assumed to be nothing more than a gal pal?

i mean………………. no

If a woman wanted to woo you, what would a surefire way to accomplish that?

well bake cookies w me and lets go for a walk & go out and watch the stars at night in the bed of a truck

Be positive! What do you like most about being a lesbian?

I LOVE LOVING GIRLS!!!!!! I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT BEING A LESBIAN!!!!!! GIRLS ARE FANTASTIC!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!

Are you more of a cat person or a dog person?

why not both

idk ive never had a cat but i know i lov them

Turn ons?

i.......... dont know

yes

im gay

Turn offs?

long nails youch theyre pretty to look at but i mean at what price

not having anything to talk about

putting yourself down like a lot (i went on a date w this one girl and that was all she did like the entire date like......... im sorry ? :(???)

Do you usually ask other women out or do you wait for them to ask you?

if im being honest i would love for someone to ask me out but since that is Very Unlikely, i tend to be the one to message first and initiate dates and stuff

What is your dream career?

i want to be a psychological researcher in the field of social comparative psychology how sick is that!!!!! just play with dogs all day and record whether or not they boop their noses on a screen

also i wanna be a farmer and a bookstore owner but thats Farther down the line like , when im 50

Talk about your interests or hobbies!

im honestly such a psych nerd i love psychology what the fuck!! its so interesting like ppl are weird man idk brains are weird

im also having a really big green day phase like billie .. he so smol... and also anyone who wants to bash warning or the trilogy can fight me ok those are like My Favorite Albums

im going to a concert in february to see declan mckenna, a Giant Meme

im getting a tattoo w some lyrics of declan’s actually its gonna be sick

What is the most attractive quality a woman can have?

yes

idk for me its being able to have quick, witty, skillful jokes i just love listening to girls talk and tell stories and jokes like wow im gay

also long curly hair? thats always a Solid Look

Do you love easily or does it take time for you to warm up to someone?

i mean. do we really wanna open this can of worms rn

too late, its open

i get those microcrushes where you like see a girl and youre like ‘WOW IM GAY DATE ME’ however once it comes to actually being in a relationship i throw my full weight behind it and worry that im being too suffocating or that im pushing my boundaries etc and ive been told that makes me come off really cold and uncaring so lol choose ur own adventure, you decide

Ever fallen for your best-friend?

unfortunately

Ever fallen for a straight girl?

can you even call yourself a lesbian if you havent

The L-Word: yes or no? (love it or hate it?)

i havent seen it, im such a fake lesbian

Favorite comfort food?

mac n cheese

or pizza

or cheesy potatos

OR CHEESY TOAST

scientific conclusion: im a fatass

Coffee or tea?

coffer

Vegetarian? Vegan? None of the above?

im vegetarian!! have been on and off for like two years now

Do you have any pets?

i have one pup sittin right next to me and shes the prettiest girl in the world

Early-riser or night-owl?

yes

idk i get up at like 9 which is early for me but not as early as like. 5. so

more like night-owl. thanks teenage hormones!

What is your sign?

pisces

Can you drive?

yes

can i drive well?

no

but i do have a sense of direction so thats cool

Who was your first lesbian crush?

tbh.................... my best friend, but i didnt realize it was a crush at the time

the first Gay Crush i had that i knew was a crush was on my close friend at the time, now my ex girlfriend

At what age did you know you were a lesbian?

uhhhhhhhhhh lesbian specifically, like 15-16. queer, i knew in like fall semester freshman year (so like 13??)

At what age did you come out (if you have)?

i mean, i come out to people all the time. first time i came out explicitly as a lesbian was when i was like 15 or 16 (actually i came out to a close straight friend and my ex and they both said ‘congrats’ like it was weird but very nice) and the first time i came out as queer/questioning was to my then-best friend at like 13 and i came out to my mom (involuntarily) at like 17? ish?

Are you crushing on anyone at the moment (celebrity or otherwise)?

yes im crushing on every girl simultaneously at all times

just kidding

(not really)

i dont really have any explicit crushes that i can think of im just really gay

Talk about how your day went

it was fine. got free froyo so that was cool. found out i made an A on my bio practical, so that was cool too. however, i wore a crop top and it was like 55 degrees out and raining so i looked like a total Idiot but yk follow ur slutty gay dreams amiright ladies

Talk about your dreams/aspirations for the future

most of mine are career-centric, but a few are personal.

i wanna go to costa rica in may, i wanna go to yale over the summer, i wanna go to NYC pride in june, i wanna go to spain after i graduate, i wanna go to grad school, i wanna be a psychological researcher, i wanna move to spain or england or hell even france, i wanna have my own farm with the woman i love, i wanna own an LGBT bookstore/library, i wanna just live a quiet life near the sea and not have to worry so much after a while.

Least favorite gay celebrity?

this is a weird one to end on, but iiiiiiim not sure i have one? i can tell you ellen page is probably my favorite, but i cant think of many i dislike so

[potter-imagines]

Being Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Daughter...

Lin would cry the day you were born but he would also brag a lot.

He’d shower you with gifts but he was also careful not to overdo it

Chances are, (depending on your age and whatever year you’d picture this for) you’d be friends with a lot of the Hamilton cast/ and or their kids

There’s no doubt about it you’d be a freestyling genius much like him and musically talented.

And Lin would be so proud of this

Lin’s heart would melt every time you called him ‘dad’

He is probably one of the most caring, sweetest, and involved father out there.

And if your mother wasn’t in the picture, Lin would be sure to work to fill in her shoes.

He would attend all your school events and extra curriculars too.

On mother’s day he would plan a brunch inviting his sister and mother over making sure you knew you weren’t alone when it came to the amount of females in your life.

Whenever he goes to Richard Rodgers Theatre or goes to work for whatever project he’s working on he is constantly pulling his phone out to show his fellow coworkers pictures of you

He can’t help it

But one thing is for sure, Lin would make sure you knew how strong of a woman you were. Being a strong activist for equal rights Lin knew how easy it was for girls in today’s society to feel weak and defeated by the powerful and he never wanted you to experience that. So he would make post-it notes and stick them in your lunchbox, on your mirror, and anywhere he could find with sayings such as…

“I am woman hear me roar!” “Though she be but little, she is fierce!” “A strong woman looks fear in the eye and gives it but a wink.” “You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.”

And because your father is one of the most encouraging and inspiring figures in the world, not only in tweets but reality as well, he excels at giving the best, most needed pep talks when you’re down in the dumps.

Lin had you speaking Spanish as soon as you said your first word

Lin would practically document your entire life. He liked taping you and taking pictures while you were doing casual activities such as coloring, singing, dancing, playing with your dolls, running around the house, etc.

Tobillo basically being your best friend

That dog follows you wherever you go

Lin has thousands of videos from when you were learning to walk, practically waddling around and Tobillo was right on your heel the entire time following you.

The whole Hamilton cast would be obsessed with you

Especially Phillipa

That girl loved you as if you were her own

And if you were old enough, you would join the Schuyler Sisters in their inbetween shows closet talk.

Sleep overs at Jasmine and Anthony’s while your dad is out of town

And they would absolutely LOVE having you over

You made them want to have kids that much more and Anthony loved taking you to the movies and Jasmine loved taking you out shopping

Speaking of shopping, Renee, Jasmine, and Phillipa are always spoiling you with the newest trends and what nots.

The Hamilton cast would be like another family to you

Always running around backstage with Groffsauce, who usually was assign babysitting duty.

The Schuyler sisters- as well as Leslie teaching you how to harmonize

Daveed loved helping you with your freestyling

You and him always got in heated battles- in good spirits of course

Playing childish games during intermission and between shows with Oak, Daveed, and Anthony.

Trying to braid your dad’s hair during his Hamilton days

Let’s be real, Lin would dedicate Dear Theodosia to you

And during Stay Alive (reprise) and It’s Quiet Uptown he had genuine tears pinching at his eyes as he fathomed the thought of losing you

But Lin would always run to you and spin you around every night after shows

The two of you would walk hand and hand together home and Lin would sing you to sleep every night

He’d love making you breakfast and basking in that domestic life

I could see him making some of the best pancakes in the world

And one morning when you were little, you convinced him to let you have a sip of his coffee

“Daddy, what’s that black stuff in there.” “It’s called coffee, bebé.” “Can I try some?” “Uh, I don’t think so, Y/n. You wouldn’t like it.” “Please, papi.” “Oh alright.”

Like he predicted, you hated it. The liquid burned your throat and young little you cried at the bitterness for at least a minute which broke Lin’s heart.

Lin would be the type of parent that would love to show you off to family and friends but when it came to posting pictures of you on social media, he usually made sure your face was covered, just to keep an element of privacy in his life.

But he does love tweeting stories about you or cute things that you do

Your childhood years would be a little hectic. Lin probably wouldn’t be around as much as he wants with filming, acting, composing and all but he would make an effort of a lifetime to be as involved as possible.

By your late teens you had already seen much of the world but that didn’t mean you were bored by any mean. Adventure was in your soul.

Lin would spend a lot of time with you during his time working with the film Moana. He liked to come to you to find inspiration.

Family trips to Disney World and Land

Lin is constantly trying to help you with his homework

“You know I was a teacher.”

Coming to him when you start learning about the American Revolution

“Well I mean you came to right person. I did write an entire musical about this stuff. Just use the album for a reference, it’s mostly accurate.”

Walking into your house one day after school infuriated as you set your pop quiz on the Schuyler Sisters in front of him, a large 9/10 circled with red pen.

“And I quote, I’m the oldest and the wittiest… My father has no sons… dad you cost me a perfect score! Why did you lie in the lyrics, I thought you said I could trust them!” “I’m sorry I forgot they had other siblings!”

Similar to your father, you swore like a sailor

Which also meant you were constantly getting scolded and death glares from your father who claims “He didn’t raise you to speak like that.” Even though you both know he did.

But honestly I could see Lin being into girl drama. Like when he picks you up from school and sees an annoyed look on your face he’d just shake his head and say,

“Spill the tea, honey. I’m ready!”

And on your bad days after dropping you off at home after school, Lin would drive to the nearest DQ and Chick-Fil-A and movie store returning home with gifts in toll.

He was one of the only people in the world you trusted enough to tell everything too

Dad jokes, so many dad jokes.

“Dad I’m thirsty. Do we have any-“ “Hi thirsty nice to meet you I’m Lin-Manuel.”

Being very close with your grandparents

Your grandpa teaching you how to cook

Your grandma would spoil you tbh

Girl talk with your Aunt Luz

Your dad would be really big on making sure you knew and understood the importance of equality and treating others with respect. 

Weekly meals at their place where your grandpa is also telling tales

“You know pequeño, when your father was your age I couldn’t get him to shut up!” “Papi-“ “He was always doing his rapping, talking fast and never making sense but he had passion just like yourself so don’t you ever give up on yourself carino. If your father did he would not be where he is today- and neither would you.” “Thank you abuelo.”

And when you finally do make it, doing whatever or being wherever that may be, you’ll have Lin’s as well as the rest of your families support because Lin knows exactly what it feels like to have millions of people doubt you and laugh at you for doing the unexpected so his support will never run out.

When Lin finds out you have a passion for writing and composing, he immediately takes you with him for a daddy daughter date to the studio.

He pretends to be out of ideas for a song and you play along knowing it would be a lot less painful to take the easy path.

“Well there are a few different projects I’ve been working on lately. They aren’t too good… pretty shitty-“ “Y/n.” “Sorry… but uh, you can have a look I suppose.”

Becoming a co writer beside your dad on his next project

Going on walks and hikes together with Tobillo

But for real though Lin would be insanely protective over you

Like when it comes to you Lin always needs to know where you are and constantly has eyes on you

When you got your first boyfriend/girlfriend Lin would FLIP

You’d suddenly become a player in the game ’21 questions’ or more like 101 questions when it came to your dad

He demanded meeting your significant other and no matter the gender, he held his strong demeanor and hardly cracked a smile- well until he saw how happy you looked in their presence.

But eventually he’d come to term with it. Although he would always see you as his little girl, he knew you had to spread your wings and he was not about to hold you back from doing so.

And when you finally land a lead role on an upcoming Broadway show, Lin is ecstatic.

Every day he calls you to ask how rehearsals are going partly because he’s interested and excited for you but also because he remembers his restless days and nights where he’d come home so stressed he’d forget to eat for days. He didn’t want to see you go through the hardships he did.

Ironically enough the new production is held, opening night, in the same old theater you grew up in, Richard Rodgers. Home sweet home. 

And on opening night you can guarantee your father is sitting front row with four bouquets of various flowers surrounded by all your family and friends as well as a handful of the original and new Hamilton cast.

And he would cry. A lot.

But he would also be that dad that right before the show starts, as the lights are dimming, he stands up and shouts,

“Go Y/n!”

His proud dad tweets would be never ending that night

After the production he was sure to be the first backstage and the first to hug you.

“You did it, you did it! I’m so proud of you, mi ángel. Congratulations!”

You’d be lying to yourself if you said your dad didn’t have a surprise party planned for after the play because he did.

Not to be a downer but there would be days where Lin would cry himself to sleep thinking he hasn’t done enough, or given you the life you deserve. He worked himself far too hard to make sure you had everything you could ever need and knew you were loved, but sometimes he couldn’t help but fear the worst.

Although at times he can be overbearing, you wouldn’t want it anyway else.

This was so fun to write oh my lord, hope you enjoyed!

-Daizy xx

[surveysonfleek]

349.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 2 101. What does happiness/joy feel like physically? i guess sometimes i get a jolt of adrenaline. 102. List five people you love starting with the one you love the absolute most. this is hard. i love my boyfriend and family pretty equally but in different ways. 103. How many movies have you gone to see this month? none. i hardly go to the movies anymore. 104. If you could have 3 wishes...but none of them could be for yourself, what would you wish for? good health for my parents, prosperity and success for my boyfriend and a happy life for my sister.  105. In what ways do you relax and de-stress when you are really tense? i’ll binge watch a show, read, cook or nap.

106. How much money would it take to get you to drive to school naked in the springtime and get out of the car? a million at least. 107. Have you ever killed an animal? nah, just the occasional insect and stuff. 108. Have you ever lost someone close to you? yes. 109. What do you think of cloning? pretty crazy. it’s a weird advancement of technology. 110. Do you read or watch TV more often? watch tv shows. 111. With all this talk of terrorism going around are you willing to sacrifice rights and freedoms for increased safety? it depends what those rights are. but if it’s for the good of the community then whatever. 112. What is the punishment you would come up with for Osama Bin Laden if you caught him alive? he’s dead. 113. Have you ever named an individual part of your body? nope. 114. Have you ever been on the radio or on TV? i’ve been on tv, but the back of my head during a jimmy kimmel show lol. 115. Have you ever won a lottery, or sweepstakes? nope, never played the lotto. i should try. 116. Have you ever won a contest or competition? yes. 117. Do you like to watch The Joy of Painting show with Bob Ross (check out this link if you don't know who he is. Also please note me if you notice the link is broken) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Ross_(painter)? cbf. 118. Do you know what your grandparents and your great grand parents did for a living? my grandparents on my mother’s side owned a general store, my grandmother from my dad’s side was a teacher, idk what my grandfather did tbh lol. 119. Is there anything really interesting in your family history? probably, i just don’t know enough about it. 120. Is there anyone you trust completely? yes. 121. Have you ever lost someone without having the chance to say goodbye? yes :( 122. How do you feel about women in politics? pretty good, we need more of them. 123. Would you rather have an indoor Jacuzzi or an outdoor pool? outdoor pool. 124. What things are you interested in that you study or read about on your own? anything on reddit. there’s tons of shit to delve into there. 125. Would you consider yourself to be intelligent? i’d like to think so but i’m probably just average. 126. Would you consider yourself to be wise? hopefully. 127. Have you ever given or received a lap dance? nope. 128. Have you ever spoken to a homeless person? yes. 129. Would you ever creep into the subway tunnels to go exploring? hell no. 130. If you could add 70 years to your life but only by making some random person die 70 years sooner would you? nah. i wouldn’t stop thinking about it. 131. Can you finish any of the following lyrics? A: Nothing to kill or die for... B: Late comings with the late comin' stretcher... C: I could make a film and make you my star... i don’t think i know any of these. 132. Were you ever with someone while they died? no. 133. Would you rather be a world political leader or a rock star? world political leader. 134. Have you ever given someone a love letter that you wrote? yes. 135. Have you ever sent someone a surprise though the mail? hmm nope. 136. Are you looking forward to any concerts right now? yes! plenty. 137. Of all animated movies, which is the best one you've ever seen? i loved aladdin the most. 138. What are the best bands or songs to listen to while driving? my mood changed everyday. 139. What do you think is the most amazing thing that anyone has ever accomplished? i couldn’t choose just one.  140. What could a member of the opposite sex do to impress you? sing me a song. 141. About how many emails do you get a day? How many of those emails are junk mail? How many of them are forwards? about ten and they’re usually all junk. 142. What's your favorite thing to do online besides write in your diary and hang out at this site? youtube and netflix. 143. Do you believe Kurt Cobain (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kurt_Cobain) killed himself or was it a conspiracy? no idea. 144. Have you ever though about hitchhiking across the country? neverrrr. 145. Who would you bring with you on this kind of a road trip? - 146. Of the following, which word best describes you: accurate, bold, charming, dependable dependable. 147. If you are single, at about what age do you think you will be ready to settle down and get married? If you are married, how old were you at the time? i’m not single or married. 148. Do you often wonder, when you say goodbye to people, if it is the last time you will ever see them? nope, because it’s not my intention. i’m assuming i’ll see them again. 149. What movie are you most looking forward to seeing when it comes out? none as of yet. 150. What is your quest? lol idk. 151. What is louder and more annoying: 200 adults talking or one four-year-old screaming?  200 adults talking.

152. Do you believe the stories about planes, boats and people mysteriously disappearing into the Bermuda triangle? haha idk. i don’t know much about it scientific-wise. 153. Who are you the most jealous of? no one. 154. What is the happiest way you can start your day? even though i don’t do it that often, probably go to the gym. 155. Do you ever have moments where you feel like everything is all right in the world? yes. 156. Who thinks that you are offensive? probably a lot of people who aren’t my friends lol. 157. If you had to teach a class in something, what would you be able to teach people? how to do shit on the computer lol. 158. Have you ever had a spiritual experience (an experience that cannot be explained by science)? nah. 159. Do you believe that this experience was truly mystical or do you think there is some scientific explanation for it, only you don't know what it is? - 160. Do you get offended easily? not if i’m with my friends. if random people say the wrong thing i get pretty offended. 161. Would you still love and stay with your signifigant other if he or she had to have a breast or testicle removed? yes of course. 162. Do you believe in fate or free will? free will. i think we’re responsible for our actions and the consequences. 163. Do you believe that only boring people get bored? haha possibly. 164. Can life change or are we all stuck in vain? life can change. 165. What changes are you afraid of? idk. 166. Are you a day person or nocturnal? i’m nocturnal. 167. What one CD could you listen to for an entire week (no mixed CD’s, it must be an album)? haha idk. someone’s greatest hits i guess. 168. Which is worse, working in retail, food service, or an office? food service. i’ve done it and it sucks. 169. What's the coolest job you ever had? croupier. 170. What is one central idea that your thoughts seem to come back to? wtf i’m doing with my life. 171. Have you ever wanted to be an actor/tress? yes as a kid. i didn’t know how to act though. 172. If you had the power to control one person and make this person do anything you wanted for a whole day, who would you pick and what would they do? i wouldn’t do that to anyone. 173. What star sign are you and what is your sign like? sagittarius. apparently they’re known for being adventurous and loving the outdoors. i’m definitely not that. 174. Did the Blair Witch Project scare you? it did until i found out it was fake. 175. Are you in constant fear of death? sorta but it’s not something i think about a lot. 176. Does fear of death keep you from building a life? no. 177. Do you like all your movies to be in wide-screen? it doesn’t matter to me. 178. Are you a fan of any comic books? nah. i used to read the simpsons ones when they were out. 179. At what age did you attend your first funeral? 7. 180. What do you smell like (lotion, cologne, sweat)? lotion. 181. What are your greatest sources for wisdom? the internet haha. 182. When you were little, where did your parents tell you babies come from? i honestly don’t remember. i think i heard a lot of ‘you’ll learn about it when you’re older’ 183. What is your favorite band? i don’t have one. 184. What's the best cheesy 80's song? girls just wanna have fun. 185. What's the best kind of movie to see on a date? something funny or scary. 186. Do you like to sit in the front, middle or back of the Movie Theater? middle or back. 187. Have you ever been inside an abandoned building? not that i know of. 188. Under what circumstances would you agree to work for free? if it’s for a good cause. 189. Candles or strobe lights? candles. 190. Do you think the Lord of the Rings movies are true to the books or did Hollywood change the story too much? i haven’t read/watched it. 191. When you see a stranger on the street does your first reaction lean towards thinking of this person as a potential friend or as a potential threat? nothing unless they’re doing something that’s caught my attention. 192. Is it natural for human beings to fear and distrust each other, or is it cultural? natural. 193. What do you really want to buy? nothing. more clothes i guess. 194. You have to choose. Would you be happier marrying someone rich for their money or living in the streets and subway tunnels with someone you love? haha shit. living poorly with someone i love. i think we could probably get through it together. 195. If someone wanted to understand you what book could they read that would help? idk none. 196. Do you think it’s odd that Americans have freedom of religion and yet call themselves 'one nation under god'? hmm they didn’t specify which god tough. 197. In what sense are you a minority? my ethnicity. 198. Are you anti social? sometimes. 199. Do you photograph well? as in like my face? not really. 200. Do you think that human beings would survivor through a nuclear winter? if they knew it was happening well in advanced, then yeah probably.

[ninjacupcake333]

I was tagged

by the wonderful user @peaceful-waldeinsamkeit (thanks for the tag! :D)

Rules: Answer all the questions, then add one of your own, and tag as many people as there are questions

1) Coke or Pepsi?: I feel like I’m the only person who has never had a preference regarding this debate, I like them both

2) Disney or Dreamworks?: That’s tough…………honestly I love them both equally, I can’t decide!!! >3<

3) Coffee or Tea?: COFFEE!!! I drink two cups a day and I’m actually really REALLY moody without it, like honestly, I am a bitch without coffee (ask my brother)

4) Books or Movies?: Books, Hollywood always screws things up imho

5) Windows or Mac?: I’ve never used a Mac sooooo Windows

6) D.C. or Marvel?: I don’t read a lot of comics, but when it comes to movies and show I’ve never really seen any DC ones (besides like…..batman and suicide squad and teen titans which I adore), so although I adore teen titans I have to go with Marvel cuz I’ve seen more from them 

7) Xbox or PlayStation?: Don’t play a lot of games, but I’d have to go with Playstation. Gotta love kingdom hearts guys. Plus I just bought a PS4 so I could play FF15 soooooooooooo

8) Dragon age or mass effect?: ……..i’veneverplayedeither…………..I’ve heard they’re good though, would people recommend this??? (cuz I have the PS4 now so I could play them if I wanted I think)

9) Night Owl or Early Riser?: Night owl. If I have nothing to do the next day I’ll stay up til 3 and wake up late in the afternoon

10) Cards or Chess?: I don’t do a lot of either, but I play cards more, and I’m REALLY bad at chess (despite my brother saying I’m really good at chess, which whenever I play I usually have no idea what I’m doing soooooo)

11) Chocolate or Vanilla?: Chocolate. I’m like that guy from Spongebob. I’m the girl that buys those pound-of chocolate bars at Trader Joe’s whenever I get the chance and eats it within a week

12) Vans or Converse? I wear converse literally every day. Even when they get destroyed they’re comfortable!

13) Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash, or Adaar?: ………..uh…….gesundheit?

14) Fluff or Angst?: I’m honestly not sure……fluff I guess? it’s cute sometimes, and angst just makes me feel bad

15) Beach or Forest?: atm I’d have to say forest, I did a LOT of hiking when I was in Japan and it was amazing, but whenever I go to the beach anymore I just end up sitting in the sand doing nothing. I don’t really swim anymore

16) Dogs or Cats? Yes

17) Clear Skies or Rain? Clear skies, rain makes me REALLY tired

18) Cooking or Eating Out? I can’t cook, but I also don’t like spending money, so neither I guess? though eating out has the social aspect to it, so if I HAD to pick one I’d say eating out if it was with friends

19) Spicy or Mild Food? Mild, I don’t handle spicy well……

20) Halloween/Samhain or Solstice/Yule/Christmas? THIS IS HALLOWEEN, THIS IS HALLOWEEN (goes off into song)

21) Would You Rather Forever Be A Little Too Cold Or A Little Too Hot?: A little too cold, my thermostat’s usually really low so that’s basically my reality anyways

22) If You Could Have A Superpower What Would It Be?:  I’ve heard legit arguments against this, but despite that, I’d wanna be able to read minds. Not all the time, but in like….a controlled sense. Like read a certain person’s mind at a certain time, but be able to shut it off when I want so I don’t have a stream of incoming thoughts from people. Mostly cuz I’m really bad at being able to tell when someone’s joking about something or picking up on context clues(like REALLY BAD) so that would help a lot, plus I get really paranoid about what people actually think about me (AND IT WOULD HELP WITH MY CURRENT CRUSH SITUATION THAT’S DRIVING ME CRAZY ATM CUZ MY CRUSH EITHER CAN’T MAKE UP HIS GODDAMN MIND OR JUST DOESN’T WANT TO AND IT’S DRIVING ME CRAZY CUZ I CAN’T TELL WHAT HE’S THINKING) I would never actually use it against anyone, I just want it so I can freakin relax for once when it comes to being social

23) Animation or Live Action?: Animation. Bout sums that up

24) Paragon or Renegade?: ……………………..what does that mean? pertaining to what exactly? is this a reference? I’m confused.......

25) Bath or Shower?: Shower, I don’t have time for baths (though I have to say I HAVE been wanting to try bath bombs, they look fun....)

26) Team Cap or Team Iron-Man?: (don’t kill me dad) Iron man. Idk why but something has always bugged me about Captain America’s character, and I love the Iron man movies more than the Captain America ones, so Iron man (SORRY DAD SPARE ME >3<)

27) Fantasy or Sci-Fi?: Fantasy, sci fi doesn’t really catch my interest as much. It does sometimes, but I always end up liking fantasy stories better

28) Do You Have Three or Four Favorite Quotes If So What Are They?: also something I’ve never really thought about……..

Well I can’t remember the exact wording, but I guess my favorite quote would have to be “Growing old is mandatory, growing up isn’t”

And I guess if I’m choosing more than one, my second one would be lyrics from a song by Icon for Hire “You didn’t shoot for the moon just to hit the stars” (from their song “Demons”)

I don’t really have any others though tbh, if I find any others or think of any I’ll edit

29) YouTube or Netflix?: I watch a loooooooooot of markiplier and game grumps, so youtube

30) Harry Potter or Percy Jackson?: YES

31) When Do You Feel Accomplished?: When I complete something that I’ve been wanting to do for a while. I never feel motivated to do anything anymore, so those moments where I do actually get motivated enough to pick myself up from off my couch and like….draw something, or read something, or play something that I’ve been wanted to for a while, it’s not much but it’s a good feeling

32) Star Wars or Star Trek?: neither (PLEASE DON’T KILL ME)

I’ve never watched Star Trek, and I had a kiiiiiiind of bad experience getting into Star Wars (thing with an ex, nothing really bad, just uncomfortable) so I never really got into it further

33) Paperback Books or Hardcover Books?: Hardcover. They’re just so much nicer! Plus I always end up bending the covers of paperbacks cuz I carelessly pack them when I wanna take them with me places....

34) Fantastic Beasts or Cursed Child?: I haven’t actually read/seen fantastic beasts yet so I can’t answer this. My brother got me the book for Christmas, but I haven’t gotten to reading it yet, and I haven’t had time to watch the movie. I HAVE read Cursed Child though

35) Rock or Pop Music? I’m in a rock band so if I didn’t say rock I’d feel like a heathen

36) What Is The Most Important Thing In Your Life?: musiiiiiiiiiic. it’s been a HUGE part of my life since 4th grade when I first started playing flute/when my dad first gave me fall out boy’s “from under the cork tree”/ green day’s “american idiot”. I went to an arts school for instrumental music and everything!

37) Mountains or Sea/Ocean?: going back to the hiking thing, mountains

38) How Do You Express Yourself?: …………….going back to the motivation thing, I can never bring myself to do the things that would best help me express myself……….I’m awful >3< though I’d have to say either drawing or playing an instrument (lately bass guitar) would be the ways I express myself best when I actually try

39) What’s The First Book/Film That Really Counted To You?: Probably Percy Jackson tbh. It’s the first series I’ve read that I stuck with for as long as I have

40) What’s Your Element (Ar, Water, etc.)?: FIRE!!! I literally wear a bracelet/necklace everyday with the alchemic symbol for fire on them

41) If You Could Travel Anywhere, Where Would You Go?: Either back to Japan (CUZ I FUCKIN LOVE JAPAN OMG) or like……I’d love to go to Paris or Italy tbh

42) If you had any job in the world, what would it be?: My UNREALISTIC dream job is to be in a famous band as the bassist, I love just being able to play with my friends and if I could make a living off of that, that would be amazing

My REALISTIC dream job is to teach Japanese.  I’ve always loved the idea of being a teacher, but I never knew for what subject, but when I started college I knew I wanted to teach foreign language. I started with french, but I ended up switching to japanese cuz i had more of a passion/interest in it.

43) If you were granted three wishes, what would they be?

1. WORLD FUCKING PEACE I MEAN SERIOUSLY HOW FUCKING HARD IS THAT

2. a bit selfish here, but for me to have enough resources to be able to live comfortably

3. for everyone else to be able to do so as well

44) If You Had To Eat One Food For The Rest Of Your Life, What Would It Be?: Literally any kind of pasta. That’s all I ate as a kid and I still freaking love it

45) What’s Your Spirit Animal/Patronus?: According to Pottermore, my patronus is a black mamba

I REALLY DO BELONG IN SLYTHERIN!!!! 

46) Would You Kill Yourself And Save Your Friends or Kill Your Friends and Save Yourself?: Uhhhh probably myself to save my friends, that’d be fine

47) If You Had To Become A Mythical Creature Which Would You Be? Now THIS I’ve definitely never thought of……um……I meaaaaaaaaan……I guess if I HAD to choose I’d go with elf probably. That’d be cool

NEW! 48) If you could have one thing in the world right now, what would it be?

I don’t actually know/follow 48 people, so I’m just gonna tag people that I know well IRL (you guys don’t actually have to do it if you don’t want ^^;;;;;)

@dreamer-21 @prince-of-pineapples @phantomcat94 @facheux-grantaire @kingkuroko11 @thenerdwholeaptthroughtime @dasteacup @orangeincubator @kastanas

[evenstevensranked]

#46: Season 3, Episode 14 - “Dirty Work”

This episode was pretty popular. Ren and Principal Wexler have a falling out after she starts to realize he assigns her all of his “dirty work.” So, Larry Beale ends up temporarily taking over as Wexler’s student assistant. Petty drama ensues. Meanwhile, during the plot everyone remembers: Louis decides to start his own "Lumberjack Club" as an excuse to slack off in school. Where all they do is hang around, speak with semi-hillbilly accents, eat pancakes and wear flannels.

Let me start off by saying... To this day, people fondly remember the Lumberjack Club as if it were some major thing, but in reality it was only a (very) small subplot. That’s crazy to me. I did my research, and this Lumberjack Club plot resonated with people so much that students were directly inspired to start their own Lumberjack Clubs at school irl. I’m not joking. Here are some more examples. 

All of these clubs have basically the same mission statement as Louis’ and were formed in the Early 2000s. This alone made me feel like I should rank the episode much higher for “iconic” points. Buuuut, this was never one of my personal favorites *gasp!* and that’s outweighing a lot of things for me. So, please know that I had an extreme internal struggle when deciding where to put this one. I was originally going to rank this around #59-55. But, I didn’t think that was fair enough to the ~cultural impact~ it made, and decided to put it here at #46. That being said… let’s get into it.

This one opens with Coach Tugnut driving up to his school parking spot singing “‘cause I got a brand new suit, and pair of shoes to match! I wish I had a mustache—“ before he gets cut off by Ren. I just felt like those lyrics were worth sharing honestly. She tells him that Wexler has ordered his parking spot to be moved a block and a half away from the school. We find out the reason why when Wexler comes driving up in a new red convertible. He wanted that spot for himself. Idk why Wexler needed Tugnut’s spot though? Surely he has his own prominent spot? He asks Ren to look into some “Lumberjack Club” he came across while looking over the school budget.

What is up with Ren’s pants, btw? This outfit always bothered me. When I was young I always thought they were, like.. freaking Louis Vuitton pants or something, lol. I mentioned before that her wardrobe starts to include loud patterns and gives off an overall “older” and stuffy vibe towards the end of the series. 

The camera pans over to Louis and Twitty, who are accepting and signing off on a syrup delivery. They recycle their code names (Lars Honeytoast and Frenchie Von Richter) from an earlier episode in the series when accepting the order. The delivery man refers to Twitty as "Mr. Honeytoast." This is such a small thing that’s easy to miss, but it’s awesome and top notch casual continuity! I really like it.

It’s “New England’s Finest” syrup. I’m from Boston. This pleases me, tbh.

It cuts to Lumberjack Club! Where Louis, Twitty, Tawny and Tom are cooking pancakes and celebrating the fact that they’ve upgraded their syrup to premium quality, lol. “Lumber Tawn” asks “Lumber Lou” (yes, these are the nicknames they’ve given themselves) to tell them how he came up with the idea for the club again. Louis goes on to tell the story of the club’s origins. The hillbilly accent really kicks in now, accentuated by bluegrass music in the background. He starts off by saying “Well, ‘bout two weeks ago, when yous kids was much younger… everyone was siiignin’ up for cluuuubs.” That is one of my favorite lines though. Not gonna lie. He explains that anyone could get money to form a club as long as they got 50 signatures. So he decided to create a Lumberjack Club after remembering his “deep and loyal love for the pancake.” Incredible. 

Dat face tho.

Right about now is when Ren comes walking in, finding the four of them toasting to The Lumberjack. (See first image.) She grills them about what kind of club they are and what sort of things they do. Louis starts pulling crap out of his butt saying “We sing Lumberjack Songs.” Ren asks them to sing one and it’s great. None of them are in sync. They’re all making stuff up off the top of their heads and clashing miserably. The best part is Tom -- who’s repeatedly saying "Wood... Wood... Wood..." God bless Tom.

Louis says they’re “legit… with a big L!” “…and a small ‘egit’!” Twitty finishes. I feel like this is worth mentioning because one of the real-life clubs’ requirements for joining is that you have to “be legit.” Oh my god. Obviously, Ren vows to shut down the club.

Wexler surprises Ren with her own desk outside of his office. We’re getting into creepy territory again, guys. Wexler makes Ren, a 14-15 year old, do ALL OF HIS WORK while he goes out gallivanting in his new car. Remember when I said that Ren Stevens is basically the principal of Lawrence Jr. High…? Well, this episode really exemplifies that and takes it to a new level. She literally takes over as principal. How is this not illegal?

One of her tasks for the day is to fire the school janitor. Wow. (Fun fact: Jackie the Janitor is played by Knobby Frostybump -- the old elf from the Lizzie McGuire Christmas episode lol) This is the last straw for Ren. She confronts Wexler and quits being his assistant. But much like in Ren-Gate, that doesn’t last long. Over the course of a period, she gets all emo and decides she wants her job back. But, oh no! When she goes back to the office, guess who’s already taken over for her? Larry Beale. Dang, that was fast.

Another lazy name flub happens again here. Larry is polishing his nameplate and it reads "Lawrence M. Beale" when earlier in the series they say his full name on a few different occasions and it's "Lawrence Anthony Beale." I don't understand why something like this is so difficult to remember?! Although, I actually always thought it was weird that Larry's middle name was Anthony because Louis’ full name is Louis Anthony Stevens. Even weirder... The actor who plays Beans is named Steven Anthony Lawrence. What a strange coincidence. 

Ren and Wexler are being extremely passive aggressive towards each other while Larry sits there gloating. Out of spite, Ren decides to become Tugnut's new assistant instead. Like he even needs one. It becomes a petty, all out war between the pairs.

It’s Larry’s job to shut down Lumberjack Club now, so he busts into their meeting the next day. I’m pretty sure they’re not even going to class anymore. They hired a marimba player named Nate to entertain them during club meetings — which I think is absolutely hilarious. It might just be because I'm a musician, but any music-related humor kills me. I mean, a MARIMBA PLAYER?! And this dude is such a Jazz cat. It’s great. This is honestly probably my favorite scene in the whole episode:

So, yeah. Lumberjack Club needs to make an educational presentation in order to stay a thing.

Tugnut is chilling in a lawn chair, eating a burrito and telling his life story (”I thought about moving to Canada, but I don’t speak Canadian...”) while Ren does work on his car. Now she’s a mechanic. This is child abuse, I swear. She’s about to quit as his assistant, but she looks up and sees Larry and Wexler blissfully driving around in his convertible. She gets jealous and keeps working for Tugnut. These student/teacher relationships are so, so strange and not appropriate. Let’s be real... 

Anyway, the whole assistant war thing starts to come to an end when it becomes obvious that Ren is much more qualified and has a better relationship and understanding with Wexler than Larry does. Larry royally messes up as Wexler's assistant and ends up doing a lot of things wrong. Including inviting Wexler’s mother to school, putting nutmeg in his coffee, and forgetting to pay Wexler’s car insurance bill. (Really, what adult would trust a 14-15 year old to pay their bills…) 

Louis organizes the most impressive Lumberjack Club presentation ever within a few hours at the most. I do like seeing Louis at least fully see his schemes through, though. So that’s nice, I guess.

It’s like a freaking carnival.

Nate returns as the musical entertainment. I love this guy, lol. Everything’s going well, until Louis and Twitty chop down a tree during a demonstration which falls on Wexler’s car. Ouch. Wexler’s devastated and sobbing, but manages to mutter “Look what they’ve done to my sweet, sweet ride!” through tears. That made me laugh harder than I probably should’ve. Wexler faints when he finds out Larry didn’t send the insurance payment, and nowww Ren is responsible for Wexler’s literal life. 

Something always gotta go wrong. Louis was actually sort of pulling this whole Lumberjack thing off.

Wexler could be on his deathbed right now and it’s up to Ren to save him. Wow. “Breathe, Principal Wexler! Breathe!!!”

Turns out Ren sneakily sent out the insurance payment the other day and everything’s fine. The episode ends with Ren becoming Wexler’s assistant again. The end. 

So yeah, that’s it. I’m still shocked at how short the Lumberjack Club plot actually is. Pretty crazy how it somehow managed to burn itself into the memories of so many people. I’m also like, 99% positive it was inspired by this Monty Python skit. There’s even a song playing during the school presentation that’s near identical melodically (and lyrically a bit) to the one sung in this skit. The fact that it’s just a subplot also affected my ranking, because I’m not the biggest fan of this episode’s main plot. I love Larry/Ren conflict.. but this situation is just... slightly annoying to me for some reason. ALSO! I realized the other day that I should base my rankings on character development, as well. I’ve actually been doing that subconsciously so far, I think. Barring a few, the majority have been filler episodes basically. No material that actually advances the overall arc of the show. Just random, silly plots -- which makes it difficult for me to really consider it a “good” or “great” episode. And unfortunately, that’s what Lumberjack Club is to me. I’m so sorry. I just love these characters so much, so when there’s little to no character growth in an episode.. it sort of bothers me. I know the show is silly, but there’s a lot of heart there as well. Episodes that have a little meat to them are the ones I’m more fond of. 

We’ve officially reached the point in my list where I drew a line separating the lower half from the better half though, guys! The ball’s really rolling now. I’m excited. 

Thanks for reading! Were you a Lumberjack Club fan? Did you start your own?! Please, do tell. Haha. 

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[lemon-mold]

tagged by @westcoastzoid ♥

Directions:I guess I’m supposed to answer 11 questions,then make up some of my own,and then tag 11 people?idk

My questions:

1. Fondest memory from childhood/adolescence? i have SO MANY like the time two of my sisters took me into hot topic for the second time and thought it was my first lmao >;3c I really liked late night drives/grocery runs and sitting in the back seats, watching the lights go by. playing Tomba, and watching other siblings play games was always so great.

2. What kind of student are/were you? grade school was bad for me so i didn’t care about it or my grades. but in cosmetology school i was rly dedicated and graduated with all A’s from all subjects we were suppose to learn. a good environment helps. 

3. Favorite song and lyric rn? I’ve had Dizzee vs. Mozart “eine kleine big booty bonkers” stuck in my head since i woke up so uh “i wake up everyday is a daydream, everything in my ain’t what it seems, i wake up just to go back to sleep, i act real shallow but i’m in too deep”

4. Book recs? Meaning of Dreams. idk i can’t read x__x it takes me a while to get through anything

5. Name a place you feel the most safe and at peace? in small enclosed spaces tbh. when i’m upset i find someplace small to hide in.

6. Looking forward to anything soon? might take up a new skill soon ? and moving outta mo 

7. Favorite aesthetic? oh gosh ;;;;;;;; i have so many. it’s been neon glow lately. deep sea, rustic urban, and broken aes is nice too. p much anything i post to vinegarbits or in my /aes tag

8. Do you do anything art-wise?Paint/draw/play an instrument/sing/act/etc? i can draw, i like to think i can sing, but i haven’t played piano/violin in so long it would take a while to get back into at least one of those things. 

9.  Favorite thing to cook or eat? I love fried rice!!! both making and eating. 

10. Do you forgive and forget,forgive but never forget,or do you take revenge when someone hurts you? never forgive never forget 

11. Do you have a green thumb? If you do,what kind of plants do you take care of? I do! not! ;v; I usually get succulent plants or cacti anyway ♥ always preferred them

new questions: 1. What are you currently ALL about? 

2. Ready for an infamous Quizilla question? What’s your favorite color? What colors do you associate yourself with? 

3. What was the first website you frequented?

4. Do you have a song that reminds you of you? 

5. Favorite meme song? (Can’t hug every cat, chocolate rain, etc?) 

6.  If you could bring back one trend, what would it be? 

7. Do you have a dream home you would love to make reality if possible? 

8. Any future goals? 

9. A silly quote you like to quote? (I’m dying squirtle, which one of you meaners told, etc)

10. Opinions of Picasso? 

11. A song that always makes you happy? 

(You guys don’t have to do this!) @westcoastzoid @headstuckduck @inverted-mind-inc @feardorchalean @lovelykitkat @queerlakes44 @v3n @lame-kid-on-couch @headstuckduck @okiedokielokie @peridoxic @duplexide

[asrisgratitudejournal]

BTS

This might be the most random thing I wrote here (aren't all my posts here random in state-of-the-art already?). So, on the trip last weekend, suddenly Mas Kharis blasted Boy With Luv in the car (it’s just his automatic Spotify playlist that did this). Being an ARMY, I can’t help but shout and be happy about it. “OMG, BTS!” It turns out that Mas Kharis and his family also know one or two things about BTS, especially BT21, and then the convo shifts into who BTS is and what makes them popular.

One of the questions Bang Reybi asked me was “why do you like them, Non? What makes you hooked into them?”. The funny thing is… I can’t answer the question. At all. It took me whole 2 mins (?) to think. To be honest, there is no single answer to that question. If I can summarize, the answer would be: “all. everything about them.” But that’s just an answer of someone who loves something unconditionally, someone who’s crazy in love (now playing: Beyonce-Crazy in Love). At this moment, I need to answer rationally, especially now that I talk with 3 men who are doing their PhDs in Oxford.

First thing first, of course, peoples’ guess would be: “Is it because they are handsome?” Well, I wouldn’t be mad at that assumption because how they look definitely play a part. However, it’s not like all of them are over-the-top-good-looking or anything, unlike other Korean boybands such as EXO or TXT as an example from the 4th gen boy group, not all members of BTS are that handsome. There are indeed some eye candies in the group, let’s say V or Jungkook or Jin, but tbh if you look closely, one of my bias (favorite member of one’s group) is RM, which is known for his average look that even some people used to think that he didn’t deserve to be in an idol group (Gosh I wonder how people could be so mean).

So, to that question, I tried to explain by saying that “I can relate to them so much.” I mentioned how I love RM just because I can find so many similarities to him. He loves to enjoy nature, visits art museums, reads books, can’t cook, and can’t drive. He just shows that he is… human. As I am. But, of course, that answer didn’t satisfy Bang Reybi. He argued back by saying “Well, that doesn’t answer the question of why you pick THAT specific person to follow, though. I mean, there are hundreds of people you can relate to, who do the exact same things as RM does as you mentioned before, yet you specifically only choose him, not the others.”

Then I came to my second answer. “Yes, what you’re saying is true”, I said to Bang Reybi. “However, these hundreds of other people, I don’t have access to them. I don’t know how I can follow them since their social media accounts are probably not public, nor I have the chance to meet and find them.” Other arguments come to mind. I mentioned how interactive BTS is with its fans. They always try to communicate with their fans and talk to them via social media. At this moment, I haven’t revealed to them that BTS fans are called by a specific name that is ARMY, and I haven’t got out of the closet yet (as an ARMY). We were just talking about why people get to like BTS in general, including me.

After I mentioned their social media presence, Mas Kharis said more about how BTS is now in every product basically. He said one time his wife asked him to buy a UNIQLO x BTS collab shirt in Oxford since it sold out really fast in Indonesia. And this is where I came out, I accidentally being overproud of BTS and mentioned all of BTS’ collaboration now, including BTSMeal, BTS as the brand ambassador of Tokopedia, Hyundai, Samsung (Korean Pride yeay), and many more. At this point, Bang Reybi be like “Noni, are you a fan of BTS? Because it seems like you’re now an encyclopedia of BTS.” Then, I came out of the closet. Yay! This 27-year-old woman who’s doing PhD at the University of Oxford finally revealed that she is an ARMY (hah lega banget). Bang Reybi then asked since when I became their fan and what things related to BTS that I’ve bought/spent money for.

It’s really funny, though. I also just realized this but in fact, it’s not been that long since I’ve become an ARMY. I got to be an ARMY because of Vannia partly, and the other part is because of James Corden’s Carpool Karaoke. It was January 2020, I guess? It’s only been one year! Before that, back in 2019, I just know that Vannia is an ARMY together with other 4-5 ITB Mothers. She mentioned them occasionally when we hang out together, but she never shoves them to me, asked me to listen to them or anything. I just said to Vannia that I knew and heard of them since VMA 2017, and I praised them for their performance but never went deeper for them.

On a weekend back in 2019, I think(?), Vannia asked me to take pictures of BTS in one of the MRT stations and at that time, to be honest, I still have this prejudice of BTS: a boy band, a South Korean boy band who sing and dance and being trained in one of those entertainment company, which is cool, though, because they successfully made their way into Indonesia’s market. Vannia mentioned that for their Tokopedia contract, Tokopedia gave them an empty check to fill, it’s up to them how much they want to be paid as Tokopedia’s brand ambassador. I relayed this information to Bang Reybi and the others in the car and they just awed hearing the fact (I was also awed the first time I heard that).

I believe I also took a pic in this MRT station back then? I only know RM at that time, and I’ve been a fan of him because I know he’s the leader of the band and also one with 148 IQ (in which now IQ is not relevant anymore, but anyways). Will attach the pic if I managed to find it.

Then, later, I started to make myself familiar with the members’ names. And I came across the carpool karaoke video. If you want to call it hidayah, this is it. I think the carpool karaoke video is one of hidayah that I got so that I got in the ‘religion’ – Bang Reybi, Prama, Mas Kharis, and I already agree that this BTS phenomenon is probably how religion started and developed back then. Starting from knowing the members, I started to listen to their music. In my honest opinion, their music is fine, they are not spectacular or anything, but it’s just that their lyrics have very deep meaning (and very beautiful, too, grammatically - God I wish I understand Korean so that I can appreciate their songs more). But I’ve got to say we got better music out there so I can’t really answer “I love them because of their music” to that first question Bang Reybi asked me.

I really went into a rabbit hole since I watched their content. I mentioned to Bang Reybi “another way for them to communicate with their fans is by making a lot of content.” By watching their contents: BTS Gayo, Run BTS, In The Soop, concert making videos, holiday packages, and many more (yes, Bighit really knows how to make money out of them, yeay to capitalism), we as fans got to see the other side of these idols. Not their performing self, with heavy makeup and tight choreography on the stage, but this normal human being that interacts with others sloppily while answering a quiz or playing games. Then again, it’s the “oh I so can relate to them” factor that works here. We fall in love with their characters, with their personalities. Prama then jumped in to conclude mentioning ‘penokohan’, I don’t know what that is in English. But, probably, if we’re to compare with Islamic history/system, it would be similar to how sahabat Rosul loves him so much, or how FPI loves HRS so much. Well, that’s if you want to make some analogies~

Then we jumped into how BTS influences people. Because it’s just crazy how I, personally, just buy books RM recommended or ARMY who are into fashion just buy BTS’ clothes. To this question, “how can they be SO influential?” I have no other option but to simply say “It’s just because we love them so much. You will do anything for the ones that you love. You want to have the same thing, eat the same food, go to the same place. There’s no rational answer when it comes to love.” So, people, if you want to influence others, make sure you get the first step: make them love you, and if you can, unconditionally.

We then delved into so many other things on BTS. We talked about how diverse ARMY is, how their biggest market is the US despite their songs that are in Korean mostly (except the recent release of Dynamite and Butter), and how they can give a winning to political party/candidate if they were to be the one who gives endorsement.

I suddenly remembered this narrative that probably also played part in the rising of BTS popularity. It’s about how they are living proof of a success story. I then went on to talk to these men about how BTS was used to be the underdog, coming from non-big3 entertainment companies in South Korea. Their company didn't have as much money and connection, two important things that are apparently important in guaranteeing a boy group's success in SK. They had such a difficult time getting a slot to perform in a music show, being mocked for their names and their concept, and it took them 2 years to get their 1st music show win. They even had to face the accusation of plagiarism, invalid daesang win, and chart manipulation. It’s a cruel world indeed, but even now when they are at the top (yeay!), they still have to go through discrimination and racism at times just because they’re Asian. In a way, this story of how BTS got through so many hardships and succeeded at the end really empowers so many ARMYs all over the world, especially those with low self-esteem and who feel like they can’t survive the world on their own. Accompanied by their album concept of ‘Love Yourself’ and their speech at the UN, it makes it easier to love them, not only as a 7-member boy group who has good looks and sings and dances but as a messenger and motivator to tell you to be strong and to love yourself.

In the middle of the talk, I forgot who said this, but we suddenly look at the equivalent of this phenomenon -BTS-ARMYs relationship- to the ones that football fans have with their favorite clubs. They are very similar in nature. Bang Reybi mentioned his friend who came to London just to watch the Champions League final together with a fan club in a pub (nobar Bahasa indonesianya mah). However, it has a slight difference when Prama mentioned that most of them are loyal to the club itself, not to the players. I don’t know about ARMYs, though. It seems like most of them would be loyal to the band instead of the member (?), but looking at how hostile BTS solo stan is, I would say we ARMYs more loyal to the member rather than the band itself.

Then a question comes to my mind, so I asked them: “how do you guys pick that specific club you’re loyal to in the beginning? what makes you stan them? Is it how good they play in a match? Or the strategies, the technique they played with? Or what?” Then Mas Kharis explained it’s more like who the league winner/the greatest football club was at that time when they were children and just learning about football. Who you hang out with also might have played a role in your preference of football club. If you hang out a lot with this big brother/friend who supports Chelsea, for example, you would be likely to support them since most of the time you’d only be hearing about how good Chelsea is and how the other groups suck big time. Isn’t it EXACTLY the same as how we girls got into one KPOP boy group? (As in my case, I hang out a lot with Vannia, therefore BTS).

Later, I also said we as ARMYs are not as crazy as people think we are. I could make an argument of how almost all my male friends have this dream to go to the UK just so that they could come to the city/stadium where their favorite football group plays or trains. They also bought their fav groups’ jersey, merch, watch a match together in a café, TWEET NONSTOP when a match was going on, commented on how bad their players’ performance was on Twitter, commented on the coach on Twitter, pick a fight with Twitter account who mocked their fav group, shouted so LOUD whenever their team made a goal or missed a goal. Then, how is that different from us KPOP fans? My long-life dream is to come to Seoul watching BTS perform in Jamsil stadium. I bought BTS’ album, bought their merch, spammed my Twitter timeline on their online concerts, (probably) will shout as loud as those football fanboys when I got to see BTS (which right now with the covid-19, the probability to see them in person with my own eyes in this lifetime would only be 5%). It is the same! It is exactly the same behavior, us and those football club supporters, yet we’re being looked down on as if we’re just immature teenagers with our empty brain and we love them only because of their looks. Ugh. Frustrating.

However, I don’t deny that there are indeed immature teenagers between us ARMY. We’re not a perfect group of people with no flaw. We’re just diverse. So diverse that you can almost find every occupation there is in the world inside the ARMYs circle. You’d find also a very broad range of age, genders, geography, and of course different level of devotion to BTS. It is like a group of people with the same religion, really. In Islam, some people are just so extreme and express their love to Allah in a way that is harmful to the Islamic community itself: e.g., terrorists and suicide bombers. Then when a case of terrorism happened, we’d say “what they did doesn’t represent Islam at all, they are just some of the extremists who don’t even understand what the real Islam is.” So does ARMY. Those ARMYs that are so hostile and very childish that you face or see in social media? They are just a bunch of ARMYs that are on the extreme side. What they did then paint an image of ARMY as a scary and hostile group of teenagers who will do whatever it takes to defend their oppas unconditionally. So, lesson learned here is for us to be careful now in stereotyping and generalizing a group of people.

For closing these 4 pages of essay, a last question Bang Reybi asked was “but I never heard of BTS as often as I heard Elon Musk, Steve Jobs, and Jack Ma, for example. I mean, if they have their ARMYs, if they have that big of an influence in the world, how come I never know about them and how big they are until now?” To this question I answered, “well that’s because you don’t care about music? I mean it’s not like BTS changing the world in the way those names you mentioned did. At the end of the day, the root of BTS is their music, they are a boy band. It is a very niche world indeed. You didn’t hear BTS as much probably it’s just because your life is closer to tech, therefore, Steve Jobs, crypto, therefore, Elon Musk, and economy, therefore, Jack Ma. You wouldn’t check if Ariana Grande is getting married or Lady Gaga buy a new home, would you? Because that information is irrelevant to your life that’s why.”

-Kkeut.

partially written on 04/06/2021 at 30.18 dan 07/06/2021 at 9 Woodlands Close

Bonus: found the MRT pics when I didn't even know the name of all BTS members

[littledonkeyburrito]

He just looked at me and my tiny serious expression and said, “No.”

1. What was the reason behind the last time you wore a bandage? I think the last time I wore a bandage was when I hurt my wrist in karate training when I was like 16. I really don’t get injured often.

2. What music artist have you listened to a lot lately? Genitallica. I love their music, so long as I don’t listen too hard and translate the lyrics haha. Then again, they’re barely more dirty than Despacito...

3. Have you ever been to a karaoke bar? Yeah

4. Who is taller, you or your best friend? She is. I am little.

5. When did you last go to a library? I think I went to a library in 2013 to print some documents and get them signed by a JP. That would have been the last time. I can’t believe I remembered that.

6. What did you last purchase at a gas station store? I think the last time I went to a gas station was when my Dad was visiting and we drove through the south of spain. I probably just bought a drink or something.

7. Which time zone do you live in? Central European. GMT +1

8. Do you remember what you wore yesterday? I had to think about it for a second but yes, I do.

9. When did you last lose your voice? It got husky a few times while I was travelling in Central America due to being drunk in clubs/loud bars and attempting to have a conversation with someone.

10. What was the last thing you looked up on the Internet? Give me a sec to check my search history... Last thing I googled was “Dahl Barcelona” because I was trying to find contact info for a shipping company

11. How much did you spend the last time you went out for food? I think it was about 20 euro which tbh was a bit more than I’d like to have spent. I don’t go out much though so it’s not like it broke the bank.

12. What was the last thing you purchased online? A sleeping mask for my brother for his birthday because he does shift work like I used to so I understand the need for a comfortable sleep mask.

13. Do your celebrity crushes tend to be more of actors or band members? Actors. I don’t follow many bands.

14. When was the last time you were at a coffee shop? I have no idea. I don’t drink coffee so I would only ever go if the people I’m with go. The last time might have been that super pretentious coffee place my friend dragged me to in Cartagena in Colombia.

15. Where is the farthest you’ve travelled this week? This week? To the grocery store.

16. Is your first language something other than English? No.

17. Are you a good cook? I’m alright. I like my food but I don’t know how other people feel about it because I don’t cook for others. Tbh I barely cook for me aside from the noodles I make.

18. Did you ever take music lessons for singing or playing an instrument as a child? I took drum lessons for most of highschool.

19. When’s the last time you ran? In the airport in Panama City when I almost missed my connecting flight to San José 20. Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them? No, I don’t like jeans with holes in them 21. Do you celebrate 420? No. 22. Do you get the full 8 hours of sleep a night? When I’m not working/travelling, yes.

23. Have you ever been on your school’s track team? No, but I made it to districts for javelin/shotput a couple of times, and to regionals once. 24. Do you own a pair of Converse? I own a few 25. Did you copy and paste this survey? Sure did. No shame. 26. Do you eat raw cookie dough? When the opportunity arises 27. Do you wear your shoes in the house? Sometimes when my feet are cold I just won’t take them off when I get home. But not in a carpeted house. 28. At what age did you find out that Santa wasn’t real? I approached my dad at approximately age 7 because I’d been having this debate internally about whether santa was real and I was conflicted about it. So I went up to him and straight up asked, “Dad, tell me the truth. Is Santa real?”  He just looked at me and my tiny serious expression and said, “No.”  “Easter Bunny?”  “No.”  “Tooth Fairy?”  “No.”  “Okay thanks,” and then I continued with my life 29. How many phones, house phones and cell phones are in your house? Just my 1 mobile phone.

30. Who would you call first if you won the lottery? I’d message a bunch of people but the first call would be either mum or dad, depending on what time of day it was. 31. Last time you saw your best friend? February. 32. Are you in high school? Fuck no, thank god  33. How do most people spell your name? Maddy. And then sometimes people get my last name wrong even though it’s really easy and not that uncommon. 34. Would you wear a boy/girlfriends clothes? Around the house I suppose I probably would 35. Will you keep your last name when you get married? Probably. Would maybe consider hyphenating if they had a cool name 36. When was the last time you left your house? Yesterday. 37. Do you have a dishwasher? No. My last 2 apartments had one and I never used it anyway.  38. Would you survive in prison? I hope I’d be able to keep my head down enough to not get shanked 39. Who is the youngest in your family? I have a little cousin that’s 14 I think. 40. Do you know anyone with the same name as you? I know several people with my first name but I’m not actively friends with any of them. When I was in grade 10 at school, there were 4 of us, each with slightly different spellings. 41. What’s the last thing you purchased? Groceries 42. What brand are your pants right now? C&A. I stood in the corner of the shop googling for like 10 minutes to find a comparison chart for australian and spanish jeans sizes. 43. Ever been to Georgia (the state)? Just in the airport. The accents are so thick and southern that I couldn’t understand the girl working at maccas 44. Do you watch movies with your parents? Mum and I would often watch movies together when I lived in Aus. Either at her place or at the cinemas. 45. Do you get your hair cut every month? I get my hair cut every 2-3 months. 46. Do you go online everyday? Yep

47. Have you ever experienced something paranormal? Aside from the party pirate ghosts that apparently haunt my apartment, no. 48. What’s the longest amount of time you’ve been stuck in traffic? I don’t think it was the longest but when I left the San José airport in the cab we hit bumper to bumper traffic almost immediately and it took an hour and a half to get to my hotel.

49. Have you ever been to New York City? Not yet 50. What is the most amount of money you’ve spent on a meal before? Probably when my brother and I took mum out for her 50th birthday and we took her to a nice fancy place. I think in all it was close to $100 per person and of course we paid for mum too. 51. What’s your worst travelling experience? Oh god I’m sure I have a few but I can’t really think of any off the top of my head. Getting sick in India in 45 degree heat wasn’t fun. And then having diarrhoea during my flight stopover in southern china (read: squat toilets) was even less fun. 

52. Have you ever dealt with noisy neighbors or roommates? How did that go? At one of my old apartments, my bedroom shared a wall with the bedroom in the apartment next door. They often had sex at like 3am which was super frustrating, especially considering I was still a virgin at the time and was like, “wahh why can’t I be the one getting laid” and then they stopped banging and started arguing and sometimes it sounded like it was getting violent. Anyway, my flatmate and I called the cops on them once because it sounded like she was attacking him and like throwing stuff at the walls. Cops came and spoke to them. They stopped fighting. Month or so later they started banging again. That was not a fun place to live. 53. Who was (or is) the teacher that gave you the hardest time in school? Nah, my teachers loved me. The trick is to suck up to them at the start of the year and from then on so long as you get okay grades you can basically do whatever the fuck you want and they won’t care. I could literally just get up and walk out of class and not come back and they wouldn’t even question it. Actually, I often did but it was usually for a music lesson. But a lot of the time I would go to my lesson super early because I was bored and my drum teacher didn’t mind helping me skip class. 54. How do you feel when you meet someone with the same music taste as you? It’s fun to drive with those people 55. What is the strangest thing you’ve ever seen outside of your house? A couple were fucking on my street a couple of months ago at like 5am. I only looked because I was still half asleep and didn’t recognise what the sounds were until it was too late 56. How reliable is your internet connection? Better than Australia 57. What’s something that makes you incredibly nervous? Confrontation 58. What’s the latest you’ve ever stayed up to finish homework/a project? 2 nights without sleep. Here’s a tip kids: Don’t start a 10,000 word research assignment 2 days before the deadline 59. What is the worst thunderstorm you’ve experienced? I grew up in the sub-tropics so there’s been quite a few. I fucking love storms and floods (so long as people aren’t hurt and homes aren’t destroyed) 60. How quickly can you write an essay? Doesn’t matter because I don’t need to 61. Have you ever had problems falling asleep in class? Yes, actually. It always took me way too long to fall asleep in class. 62. Have you ever been on the barrier or front row at a concert? Yeah, that time @aturinfortheworse​ got hi fived by Jack Black at a Foo Fighters concert and I didn’t because I have little arms. 63. If you have a job, who is your least favorite coworker/manager? From my old job, my least favourite was probably one of my staff, Dave, because he was such a pain in the ass and always made problems and bitched about people and thought he could do my job better than me.

64. Are your parents supportive of you? Yes. My parents are pretty great. 65. How often do you take the train to go places? Whenever I have to go somewhere that’s not walking distance and not the airport (I bus to the airport)

66. What is the closest grocery store to your house? The closest big grocery store is Carrefour but I don’t go there because it’s right on the tourist strip.

67. When was the last time you colored with crayons? At a mexican restaurant in Panama City called Orale. The table is covered in paper and you get a pack of crayons. Keep in mind that this place is really really not designed for kids considering the amount of tequila they give you. When I went there at the start of my trip I was talking to a guy in Spanish but the music was too loud for me to hear him properly so I just handed him a crayon and told him to write it down. It legit took me over an hour to realise he was hitting on me...

68. Have you met anyone famous? Just at conventions

69. Do you have any special talents? I am weirdly good with money. I can be on the exact same salary as someone else, have more bills to pay than them and somehow I’ll still always have more money than them. I don’t even necessarily hold back in my day to day life. I don’t know how but money stuff just always seems to work out well for me. I suppose that’s a talent. A very useful one.

70. Have you ever been to a nursing home? No

71. What kind of job did your mom have when you were growing up? She had a few different jobs here and there when I was a kid, mostly in retail I think. But when I got to highschool, she went back to college and studied her ass off and now she does really well as an architect (side note: I accidentally wrote arquitecta which is spanish) and she loves her job. It’s great to see her succeed. I’m very proud of my mama.

72. Have you ever known anyone that’s been on TV, including you? There was a guy that came like 3rd or 4th on The Voice a couple of years ago that I went to school with. I also went to school with a girl who now has like 3 olympic gold medals for swimming so presumably she was broadcast on tv.

73. What was the most interesting animal you have seen in the wild? One time an echidna literally knocked on our door. I’ve also seen dingoes, sea turtles, goannas, baby foxes, koalas, kangaroos, wallabies and so much more because I grew up in the Australian rainforest. More recently, I saw sloths.

74. What was the first video game you ever played? Crash Bandicoot 2 on playstation1

75. What is the one thing you own, that if it got lost, you would be bummed? My passport because it would be expensive and a pain in the ass to replace.

76. What do you find yourself buying all the time? Flights. Haven’t bought any for a while though because I’m running out of money.

77. When was the last time you got a real letter in the mail? A few months ago from my health insurance company.

78. Were you born in the state you live in? Not even close. Firstly, I live in a province. Secondly, I was born in a county.

79. What is your favorite cheese? Probably camembert or brie. I like those soft cheeses. Also a big fan of feta.

80. What color are your jeans? Black. When I travel, I assume people think I only have one pair of pants when in reality I’ve probably got 4 pairs of black jeans on rotation that are not the same at all.

81. Do you get embarrassed when the buzzer at the airport goes off on you? I always dress so that it won’t go off. Except one time back in aus I had to go to the domestic airport and go through security to drop some documents off with one of the bosses on his flight changover and I completely forgot I was wearing steel capped boots and was so confused when it went off.

82. What does your last received message say? “NOICE”

83. What’s a smell that makes you feel ill? Puke

84. Have you ever deliberately tripped someone? When I was ~14 some boys at school were playing some tackle ball game thing and one of them ran right by where I was was so I stuck my leg out and tripped him. He got up and kept running. I hobbled to a seat, half thinking I’d just broken my goddamn ankle. It wasn’t broken but it did swell up so much over the next couple of hours that my friend told the teacher and they forced me to go the first aid room. Then my shin/ankle got the most colourful bruise I’ve ever seen in my life. I wish I had photos of it because it was fucking spectacular. I think the last of the bruising took about 3 weeks to fade.

85. Do you have any boxsets for TV shows? I had the boxsets for Buffy and Angel but I gave them to Mum when I moved

86. Are you tired? Usually

87. What was the last TV show you watched? Luke Cage

88. Is your door open right now? No

89. What was the last conversation you had with someone about? Whether I should agree to look after someone’s cat for a week

90. What was the last parcel you received? Probably a tshirt I ordered online a few months ago

91. Is the person you last messaged single? They both are, yes.

92. What color is your favorite bra? Red

93. What is the newest addition to your wardrobe? A red tshirt with little white birds on it

94. Do you have any currency that’s not your native country’s? I currently have 7 different currencies on my shelf, and I had 4 others when I was in Australia

95. Were you messaging someone right before you fell asleep last night? No.

96. Did you have any unread messages when you woke up today? Yep - it was a photo of their cat.

[idolapps]

Oh My Girl "Windy Day" [ at least for 2016 tbh ]

OOC INFO NAME/ALIAS, PRONOUNS, TIMEZONE:  Billy, She/her, EST RESERVATION: “Lux.”

MEMBER PROFILE FACECLAIM: Kim Chungha NAME/STAGENAME: Kim Myeongeun/”Amy” BIRTHDATE/AGE: February 9, 1996. 20 years-old. COMPANY/POSITION: J-Soul Music, Lady, Main dancer, sub-vocalist, sub-rapper

HEIGHT/WEIGHT: 161cm/44kg TRAINING PERIOD/JOINING YEAR: Three years at Galaxy, final three years at J-Soul

  INTERESTING FACTS:

[ ☆ ] Previously trained under Galaxy before moving to J-Soul.

[ ☆ ] She speaks fluent Korean, English and Japanese. Excels in Korean tongue twisters.

[ ☆ ] She lost her shoes once or twice during performances even though it wasn’t during the more difficult parts.

[ ☆ ] Chose the stage name “Amy” because she found it easier to pronounce for non-Koreans and considered it more memorable. STRENGTHS/WEAKNESSES: 

  [ - ]  workaholic, bold, guarded

Even though she’s determined to work to the point of being stubborn, it often lands her in a state of exhaustion, needing medical assistance. It is few and far between that she needs an IV drip, but it was enough of a reminder to get proper rest, or at least try to during non-promotional schedules. But back on the promotional cycle, she goes right back to it, willingly exhausting her body and mind. Once she almost fainted during a recording for a weekly music show, but she bounced back long enough to finish out before seeking treatment. Amy tends to be guarded and vague when answering questions about her home life. Sometimes this can come off as rude to sensitive MCs, but the last thing she needs is a scandal involving her estranged, bully sister. Fans are good enough to cover up her past. Even though it’s another member of her family, the comparisons and assumptions would be endless. On an opposite note, Amy can also be bold, sometimes too bold, at least according to conservative citizens. Since South Korea’s government wants the nation to remain in a conservative mindset, some of the things that have come from Amy’s mouth have been “out of line,” but most of the younger crowd finds it refreshing and charming. Amy would rather be someone the young people have a connection and identify with. Concerning talents, Amy can’t belt out high notes like most idols, but it something she’s constantly working on.

[ + ] determined, optimistic, helpful, respectful

Determination laced with high hopes and optimism runs through her veins, driving her to best that she can be while also improving. The last thing she wants is to fail and have to crawl back home, licking her wounds with her tail between her legs or head hanging in shame. Even though she realizes embarrassing moments are inevitable since she is always in the public eye, she doesn’t let herself get down over it, allowing to laugh over it later. Sunbaes and elders during broadcasts and behind the scenes often describe Amy as caring, helpful and respectful for anyone, including the crew, even if she was met with downcasting tones or rudeness. Everyone is trying to be successful, and even if there are rivalries, Amy does not feel a need to be rude, even though sometimes she feels a miniscule pang of jealousy from time to time despite her own group rising to fame faster than anticipated. She excels in dancing and is known for her clear but powerful rapping lyrics, even if they are short. BIO/PERSONALITY:      Myeongeun considered herself pretty lucky to grow up on the beautiful island of Jeju alongside her grandparents on her mother’s side, her parents, twin sister and younger brother. For generations, The Kim family ran sharehouses catered to foreigners visiting for an extended stay, so their financial situation was pretty steady as Jeju had flocks of tourists all year round, but that seemed to be the only stable thing in Myeongeun’s life.      Like something out of a movie, Myeongeun’s twin was a polar opposite of Myeongeun, including looks and attitude. Myungeun and Haeun weren’t identical twins, only sharing the same nose and lips. Myeongeun was shorter, kept on weight easily and had wider eyes, while Haeun was taller, thinner and eyes that were easily pressed together when smiling.  Haeun was determined to be different in any way, finding Myungeun to be the “good twin,” which Myungeun didn’t think so at all. Myungeun wasn’t prettier than her twin, wasn’t good at studying or cooking or making friends. Haeun got caught up in being a bully, but maybe more like a ringleader of bullies, in her early teen years, so by then in comparison Myungeun ended up being the “good twin.” Myungeun never understood why Haeun wanted to be so different, so difficult, so… detrimental. Myungeun always joked that Haeun got it from their father, saying he was a mob boss in a former life, since they both seemed to enjoy power over people. Since it was bound to happen eventually, Haeun’s bullying landed her straight into trouble and expulsion from school. Like a whirlwind, Haeun’s bags were packed and she was sent to the mainland of South Korea, somewhere in the countryside with their father’s parents. Haeun didn’t bother to take a last glance at Myungeun before slamming their bedroom door in her face. Calls went unanswered. Messages went unread. Years went by without a word.      Soon Myungeun’s parents birthed a baby boy named Kyujin. She always believed that her mother decided to have another child just before Myungeun took off to do her own thing in life in her final years of school to fill the void, and maybe then she realized what her twin might have experienced. Maybe their parents favored Myungeun a little more than Haeun. Maybe they thought Myungeun was smarter, prettier, more likely to succeed in life, despite Myungeun’s lackluster grades. Instead of becoming bitter and jealous over the time not spent with her parents due to her new baby brother, she took it upon herself to take it easy. She wasn’t nagged as often about studies, her future in some amazing college that eventually would lead into a high paying corporate job, playing too many games or singing karaoke downtown. Freedom was at its best when Myungeun and her friend, accompanied by her friend’s parents, took a trip to NYC for two weeks before Myungeun’s second year of middle school. The Big Apple. Good pizza, breathtaking sights and more than enough fun for the two of them despite having parental chaperones.      Then, her friend broke the real reason as to why they were in New York. An idol company was holding their global auditions. Companies had auditions nearly every weekend in Seoul, so why come across the ocean? “Seoul isn’t exactly a vacation destination, plus you’re always great at karaoke, so you should audition with me,” her friend repeated every day their first week there. It wore Myungeun down and she gave in. If she was going to be faithful and wait with her friend in line for hours with the hundred other applicants, she might as well try even though karaoke isn’t any comparison to the idol life. Myungeun spent most of her time comforting her dear friend, trying to calm her down while practicing her lines from a script on her phone. Unbiasedly, Myungeun believed her friend would make a stunning rapper, and not just the kind of idol that is assigned to rap. Nervous hands clutched shirt hems behind their backs as each gave their best performance to the judges. Seals of approval were smeared across their audition papers. Despite the disapproval of Myungeun’s parents, she moved to Seoul for her last year of middle school to be a trainee at Galaxy. Was it illogical for her to pack up her life and move away for a dream that wasn’t her own? Probably. Did Myungeun have anything to lose? No. She already knew that the cubicle life wasn’t for her, so end of the year exams weren’t crucial. She wasn’t in the top 10 ranking for grades, but somewhere in the middle, in an “acceptable” range, even during her trainee years for this company. Blood, sweat and tears, all for a very distant goal that she might never reach. Not much in life ever captured Myungeun’s passionate side before. Her main goal was just success in any form. She was already in too deep to give up, but she was getting “too old” to debut. Idols debut younger and younger nowadays and the clock was ticking. Galaxy went years without debuting a second group, and at the time no girl group in sight, plus the undeniable fact that the CEO couldn’t seem to get all the finances right. It was time to go. At the end of the coming third year of being a trainee, Myungeun went to an open audition for J-Soul Music despite still being under Galaxy. Even though she presented a slight shaking singing voice out of nervousness, her impromptu dancing skills were enough to get into a trainee program. Shaking hands were brought to her face, covering her rosy cheeks, and also trying to hold back her tears. Of course she did not want to abandon her best friend or the several other trainees and seniors at Galaxy that she grew fond of, but the light at the end of her path was through a different tunnel. Purposefully Myungeun failed her end of the period trainee evaluation, packed her bags and moved onto the J-Soul Music life.

     Not to Myungeun’s surprise, training was harder in every sense, but she tried her best not to complain. Noone got anywhere in life by just breezing by without it catching up to them eventually. “It would all be worth it in the end,” was something she would tell herself every single day to get through it all, even though she knew deep down inside that being a trainee was just the tip of the iceberg in entertainment. Two more years passed and eventually she was chosen for a slot in a new girl group, eight years after the company’s first. The light was getting brighter and brighter.