#tbh im still working stuff out lol
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I think when you wore that strawberry dress. It changed something, started seeing a lot more men in dresses that year. Maybe I sought it out but I do think u did something.
I have had a lot of people and fellow creators tell me that seeing me wearing a dress so confidently made them feel able to do it themselves.
The ones I hear about most are the Stawberry Dress and the Bi dress I wore to the first Streamer Awards, which was also the first time I wore a dress in public.
Trying to work out my gender and sexuality while being exploded with public attention was terrifying, but I feel like things have chilled out a lot, and I finally think I have worked stuff out.
It makes me so happy to have inspired so many! Be who you want to be! Don't let anyone stop you!
Fuck gender roles! <3
#askeret#gender#lgbtq+#genderqueer#genderfluid#bisexual#tbh im still working stuff out lol#it takes time#you don't have to rush it :)
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charlie kelly - season 16
#iasip#it's always sunny in philadelphia#charlie kelly#charlie day#my gifs#s16 spoilers#sorry if this sucks photoshop keeps deleting all my settings :(#gonna be real... i know they were prob trying to balance things out bc s15 had a bunch of charlie stuff#but man there werent enough good charlie moments this season :(#(or at least not stuff i really enjoyed)#i have a dee one coming up tomorrow (not even gonna get into how much worse this season was for her)#& then i think after that im taking a sunny gifmaking break for a bit#i love making these (and im planning on coming to them eventually) but theyre a lot of work#and tbh ive been thinking i need to spend less time on tumblr/sunny stuff bc im just not having as much fun as i used to#& i know i'll enjoy it again eventually tho bc my brain likes to cycle thru the same 5 interests year after year (lol)#just have 2 get there again!!! which might take a bit of time#might still be on all the time. might not.#might be a little more multifandom might make gifs or fanart for other stuff (dont wanna scare everyone off tho)#idk at this point but i felt like i needed to get it out there ya kno#kinda gotta figure out some things. like how to have an actual social life & finding time to make art & not feel overwhelmed all the time.#speaking of art maybe i'll start updating my art blog lol#anyway... gonna be fun when i do come back to these to try to find them to add the links
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Got all excited last night bc i saw a post from a mod on the gta o subreddit abt the Halloween update being set to drop today around 5 AM (backed up by at least two gaming websites that had stories also stating the same start time and date)
Went in today ready for Halloween and uh. Nothing lol
Checked the actual Rockstar website and there's no mention of it, just that RDR o is getting a Halloween update this week
If i was a betting man I'd start a pool on how late in the month it'll be by the time the gta Halloween drops lmao
(also a pool on how likely it is the mod is lying; as they continue to insist they have access to all the usual Halloween stuff in GTA o today and that everyone who doesn't must not know how to restart their game to see if that changes anything, or maybe they didn't click play on GTA but a different game in their library? Which is insulting af, especially to the guy with the flare that shows he's at a level so high in the game that i frankly didn't know existed, who called them out and asked if maybe they didn't get confused and thought gta and rdr were both getting the update at the same time. Person was nice abt it, just asked plainly and said it was ok if that was the case, but that it would be helpful for others to know. poor dude immediately got piled on by the mod for it but like. he's right lmao. if that's the case it's fine! mistakes happen! but stop insisting you have access to something seemingly no one else trying to play online does!)
#text post#none of this matters but the depression is eating me alive today so I'm in a shit mood (trying to work myself out of it tho)#and admittedly was excited for the update#i like the Halloween one even more than the xmas one tho i love driving in the snow in game#i even set a notif on my calendar for today abt it like an idiot lmao#last time an update like this was late i couldn't get it work until nearly the last week of the event#so. guess I'll just hope i can maybe play any of the Halloween stuff before the month is over and they remove it#if it makes it in at all this year tbh bc clearly ppl are still trying to fuck with their servers#i can tell bc even tho i can get into online most times now the actual game is acting real fucky lmao#watched a crowd of NPCs walk into the sea#found another one walking in tight circles in the underground bit of the subway/train tunnels#he then dissipated as he walked into a concrete wall which ngl. that creeped me out lol so i got some accidental Halloween stuff#but uh. they don't normally do shit like that nor does my motor bike usually disappear from betwixt my legs#as I'm mid huge jump and literally in the air#spoiler alert: I did not successfully complete that stunt jump but the hospital fixed my guy up#wish my bike would come back from wherever in the shadow realm it went now. just bought it and really liked it too#anyway im gonna have some floor time and work on laundry i guess bc my brain is like#'well if the update isn't up then you have no reason to play. why not throw yourself in a deep pit instead?'#but i got laundry to do and work tonight so the pit will have to wait#(also goddamn it I'm sticking around to check on that fucking update even tho I'm almost definitely wasting my time)
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trying to start working on my ap art summer work (put it off all summer and now theres. 10 days left until school starts apperently) i hateeeee how vague everything is ugh
#i forgot how much of a nightmare this teacher is to work with she just. never specifies enough and it drives me insane#<- ive had her multiple years now idk why she even let me take the ap class considering when i had her freshman year i literally didnt do a#single assignment for that class but i wont complain i guess lol#though tbh.. im not really sure why im even taking it i mean my friend said i should#but idk#man i dont know what to do though like#i brought this upon myself but still. why does this all have to be so vague#also i need like a themeing… i dont know man!!!!!!!!!!!!! im the most indecisive person on the planet and i never plan out pieces most of#the time. i just get rhe urge to Draw Character In Void and figure it out from there#if i start to working on a sketch… im just gonna keep working on it until i finish????#i wish i could do animation or smth. for my pieces i feel like that would backfire on me but like#itd work better within the structure she wants us to follow i think……… then again all i animate is jsut#stupid little loops or like. dumb stuff set to songs or goofy audios#idfk#inquisitivewaltz.txt#also also i have no idea if im allowed to do my summer work digitally#but im doing it that way anyways cuz it gives me more options (and i feel liek ill figure out smthn i like the look of more easily than#traditional since im just not the greatest with that..#plus i dont have any empty sketchbooks to dedicate to this class and i cant just buy one now yknow
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i kinda forgot how mochizuki does expressions so well that they speak more than texts in an image
esp for someone like oz who has identity crisis going on for him that he doesn't really care who he is as a person so long as it makes others happy (the way later he could care less if people see him as jack the hero rather than just oz)
but the shock in oz's expression as though he had been read so clearly by sharon's words.
also idk it never crossed my mind while i was rereading, but i love that this is just in chapter 2 -- that things would go bad if oz should ever lose sight of himself
bc that's the gist of oz's whole character arc, inching away from just being whatever people want him to be, shying away from his emotions, and accepting himself and what it means to be himself - emotions and past - alike.
#'avil why are you reading pandora hearts again' girl's depressed. turns to comfort media.#tbh im kinda surprised though that i can still pick up new stuff with oz bc oz is my big comfort character#however i also feel like i know /enough/ that i didnt think id pick up more#the treasure lies in the little details lol#also yeah im just liveblogging/trying to infodump to cheer myself up lmao#feel free to block the liveblog tag idk how long ill be reading ph today before i switch to things i should probably be working on#anyways#the thing about oz is that hes always rejected himself#you see it in the way he talks to break about himself#or like. he hates himself so much that he rejects alice and gilbert later down the line when he finds out the truth about himself#to lose sight of himself like that means the end#i guess for me his story has always been about growth from that and it feels nice to fall back into that and watch him grow#anyways if i turn into an oz blog. you know lmao#avil reads ph#i always wanted to reread ph again but the starting chapters are kinda too slow for me alksjdfalkh#just throw me straight into the isla yura arc and beyond#you know another thing though. that rejection of oz himself. parallel that with leo's rejection of self later that he hides away and allows#oswald to take over blahblah#*i dont think this makes sense im just blabbing now*
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WIP of Vyloris, who is done real dirty by being useless compared to other Hypogean heroes while having one of the coolest designs in the whole game, smh
#delete later#myart#wip#fanart#artists on tumblr#if she wasnt a SG-only build... I would simp build her lmao but I have more self control than that... sort of#anyway can u tell i only *kind of* know how to bullshit shiny metal stuff in the colouring? lol#like only works 50% of the time but im sure this is fine 8) I'LL FIGURE IT OUT#also do u like my strategy of drawing/figuring out most of the drawing THRU the lineart and along the way instead of like...#being planned out properly from the start? :')#half the dang details I keep having to be like “OH right I have to even draw that still” and there's still so much more to go RIP#but im liking how this is turning out so I'm trying to ignore those feelings of... overwhelm-ment??? what even is english tbh
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all my co-workers are so fucking nice fr 🥹🩷
#idk what vibe im getting from the manager#she also called me by my second first name idk why#i don't think we have someone by the same name there but who knows#it felt so weird tbh like only my family calls me that#also im getting to know the others and i've like explained my studies and stuff and had different reactions from different people lol#some get it some don't#even my career advisor was at first like i thought supportive of me getting into print making or whatever#but when i told her i was applying for a lab tech position she said she told me she thought it was idk funny?#that i have a degree and i was going into basically customer service#but wtf can i do if im burnt out and whatever from lab work#amd office jobs are actually hell for mw#i feel like comfortable working at a café#bc i can't sit still anyways agkslhkdlhldh#and steaming milk is like in muscle memory for me#it all came back to me#anyways. im not so confused that k start doubting my decisions as soon as someone expresses their confusion#but sometimes for a moment i do bc mlst lf my decisions are kiiiinda impulsive anyways#and i can't make everyone understand anyways
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I watched Tamasha last night and it left me an emotional mess, it was beautiful. The film has some jarring flaws that are hard to overlook, but if you can relate to the core theme, the last few minutes are worth seeing it through. There are a lot of things I wish could have been done better though. Particularly during the first half— and the lack of substance for Deepika's character Tara.. Nonetheless, I don't regret watching it.
Also, the soundtrack is gorgeous <3 my favorites being Chali Kahani, Safarnama and Agar Tum Sath Ho, I don't vibe with Tu Koi Aur Hai's melody much but the lyrics had me ugly crying during the movie T.T
#ria.rambles#tamasha#bollywood#the film is quite a mess tbh if im being brutally honest#BUT it still manages to make you feel stuff#also deepika's performance is this was >>>#and !!! the soundtrack is superb i'm not kidding chali kahani is so beautiful with the sargam in between#safarnama too. the lyrics are really nice#would've been nice if they had spent at least a little more time on tara and fleshing out her character#b/c this is a character-driven story#still i liked that she is an independent working woman who just seems to be living life on her own terms#like..even with and after all the stuff with ved she doesn't dwell on it forever and just kinda moves on with life till ved seeks her out#in the ending i mean. like that's cool#only that it would have been better if we were given SOME info about her other than her liking ved#that's quite literally her only trait/personality throughout the movie and that annoys me greatly#other than that the depiction of ved's condition was vague#was wondering if he had bpd. it looked like he was depressed too. but the film oversimplifies this aspect without going into the complexity#of his situation. and the ending with his father was fairy-tale like but im letting it pass since its bw#considering the standard i have for bw movies at this point. it was a pretty good movie.. with a LOOOOT of flaws but still good/enjoyable#the way i keep pointing out it has a lot of flaws lol— but i need to stress it enough b/c this film is far from perfect#i completely get why people have such polarizing views on it#deepikapadukone#ranbirkapoor
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I'm starting to feel once again like taking a break from social media would be good for me, but I'm also nervous about losing the human contact that comes seeing people reacting to my posts, and reacting to other peoples posts
#i want... to connect with you all directly...#i want more friends on Discord tbh. who i can just check in on occasionally#ive never been good at messaging friends out of the blue which is why social media is nice#it lets us all parallel play and check in on each other indirectly which is nice#but... its a double edged sword?#because i can absolutely feel the social media addiction digging its claws into me. constantly checking for notifications and reactions#and the fact that i feel scared i'll lose the benefit if i quit the drug is PART of the addiction i think?#anyway if literally anyone wants to chat with me on discord my username is KennaM#1381#damnit i forgot the hashtag wouldnt work in the tags lol#anyway. even if we rarely ever chat or you dont consider us friends but you want to#im considering taking the whole rest of this week off#what i've done in the past is still checked my notes and tags for things i want to reblog#or specific peoples blogs if i know they're doing cool stuff#but staying off my dashboard and my 'for you' page etc. staying away from the feed#im rambling. my head hurts and i feel stretched thin
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I don’t think this is applicable for everyone but I genuinely think that for a lot of people, volunteering at a place that requires physical labor is better than buying a gym membership.
#i like Never exercise but I did a big Physical Labor thing this weekend for a local nature perserve#is my entire upper body still sore 3 days later? yes.#but i still enjoyed myself and did stuff for my community and worked out more thoroughly than i have in years tbh and also#im usually really self conscious about exercising around people at a gym but#with volunteering things No One Is Judging People Are Just Glad You're Helping#that's my hot take#lol#i kinda had the thought as a joke but i genuinely think it would be cool#excersise#volunteering#dante dicit#queue
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why are glasses so expensiveeeee
#glad they do the 2 for 1 thing here bc I'll need a lab pair I can put in a safety goggle frame & and a general use pair#got my eyes tested and yeah my astigmatism is a lot worse LOL well it has been forever since i last had em checked#and i was wondering why looking at screens is so difficult and why my vision is sooo bad cycling at night i get crazy glare#well. one week til i can pick them up and then hopefully no more headaches and i wont get into any car accidents lmao#i mean my vision isnt THAT dire I can see fine without glasses just uncomfortable innit. esp if i have to focus#picked up my mail too so thats done... dont rly wanna leave the house again until climbing tn so im just gonna chill#also bought myself mouthwashing as a treat... it is my week off after all :3 i think im gonna watch a movie first tho so i can sort out#admin stuff and update my planner......and maybe journal a bit i have some shit I wanna work out#mildly annoying i wont be able to pin my roommate down to talk over the next few days bc im going out tn and tmr night#and we were gonna hang during the day bc she has time off work too but shes said she'll be too tired so she'll just be in her cave#and then idk if she did make plans for the weekend in the end but tbh if I cant talk to her abt shit beforehand I'll cancel for this time#I'm tired of every group social thing w her being tainted by this I just wanna have fun & not feel shit for being alienated for once#it was my friends birthday this week and id like to do smth nice w them but if we both go together ik she'll just upset me#unintentionally bc i havent been able to talk to her abt it yet. but still.#maybe ill just make separate plans w our friend then i dont wanna be an asshole to them bc i have a problem with someone else entirely#anyway. its not that deep just need to clear things up. fucking hell can my stomach stop COMPLAINING its not lunch yet!!!!#its okay. grrrrrrr. maybe if i have a snack itll calm down. i rly need another drs appt to bring up my physical issues but whatever#dealing w the depression is the priority hopefully my digestive system and menstrual cycle wont kill me in the meantime#okay thats my oversharing done for this thursday morning love u guys bye#.diaries
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i probably have lots of epic and swag clips of me playing splatoon 3 however i keep forgetting to rewatch them or compile them so this account's collected a lot of dust 🙈 but at least i am having fun with art?! <- guy who's mostly been drawing
#lizz.txt#RANDOM LIZZ TALKIE POST... i think i would like to compile my splat clips at some point bc i have a lot and tbh i could probably-#benefit from freeing up space but OUGH i am in such an art headspace that i just have NOT been video editing. and thats OK!!!#i've really been having a lot of fun drawing again though as of late ;w; !!! very whimsical and i'm emphasizing the parts of the process-#that i enjoy working on... and cutting out the stuff i don't like as much... while also dipping my toes into new territory with an open min#i'm very thankful for splat... it brought me so many wonderful friendships and while it wasnt immediately obvious it was also a huge boon-#to my creativity and letting me experiment in ways that aren't solely illustration focused... im glad i stuck with this game :D#but also cheers to learning more about it even when splatoon 3's official event times are like. over. i'll still play bc theres still-#stuff that i want to accomplish and do in the game! i'm really happy this game was made even with the flaws it has (e.g. update cycle-#being largely infrequent w/rt kits- those were some of the most painful wait times ever... LOL)#anyway bye for now... im sure i could have clips that i want to share... just not rn bc i moreso want to share art and stories atm#but it's nice having different hobbies to bounce between... i think this is what people call balance and i have achieved that...
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I keep forgetting I can't seem to get the current version of xkit to work on my new laptop and going to do stuff that it let me do fjldksafjdlsaj
#text post#im p sure the mutual marker thing was a feature w/them bc i'm missing them on everyone that#as far as I know I was still a mutual with#then again I did drop like. fifteen followers over the last week#but that usually happens whenever I start actually posting my personal thoughts on my personal blog lmao#have also gotten a few messages both politely and not so politely asking me to essentially shut the fuck up re: my personal posts#idk what to tell y'all on that bc like. i have a lot of folks I follow n' enjoy who post just as much /even more than me re: personal stuff#I think im just particularly irritating even when I'm trying really hard not to be and try to edit my posts down/keep them under readmores#but im trying to be better#not trying hard enough tho apparently and this tag essay probably won't help but. idk.#i think we're all allowed to be as irritating/post as much personal stuff as we want on our blogs#but i also think im still operating uselessly on how tumblr was a few years ago. ppl don't like that anymore it seems#and that's okay but I gotta work on catching up to that and do better#anyway. it's possible i did lose most of my mutuals and tbh it's not a big deal it's just a lot of ppl at once like. damn.#makes me wonder what the last straw was just out of curiosity#bc if that's really what happened then im down to like. maybe three or four mutuals left and it hasn't been that low since I first started#on here back in like. tail end of hs beginning of college#I also keep missing the quick reblog feature which was my fave but. someday I will figure out why xkit isn't working for me#and i will fix it. at a time when im not sick and feeling cruddy lol
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If Bellara really is a mage then it might make more sense for me to play a rogue both for the character I'm building in my brain and also to balance out the party but. I don't really wanna 😭
#based on what they said about how momentum works for rogues in this game im worried i wont be able to play a rogue well#like i have a slow reaction speed lol. if a big part of the rogues abilities revolves around being able to dodge attacks i might be screwed#i was really hoping to play either a mage or a warrior. and i guess i could still play a warrior#but like im really interested in the veil jumper faction#thats a big reason im trying to plan my build to be complementary to bellara bc i figure ill want to have her in my party a lot#(also thinking i might romance her the first time around but im still undecided bc all the women are so cool)#and after seeing the rogue specializations and us all assuming she was gonna be a veil ranger i was like#okay cool since shes got that down i can be something different#but if shes NOT a veil ranger rogue then i feel like it would make the most sense for my character to be a veil ranger rogue#if im really interested in leaning into the veil jumper stuff for my rook#hhhhhh#i know the game isnt coming out until fall so theres still plenty of time to think on this stuff#but uh i ALSO still need to do my second playthrough of inquisition (and first playthrough of trespasser) before it comes out#so im trying to plan out what i want to do with my dav character so i can decide what i want to do with my dai character first#in order to not make the playthroughs feel too repetitive#i was thinking qunari warrior inquisitor but if im not gonna be doing an (elf) mage rook then#maybe ill do a qunari mage inquisitor instead? dammit i JUST got excited about the champion specialization tho...#i guess its still technically there in dav but. elf champion warrior just doesnt feel as right as it does for qunari tbh#and i feel like an elf would still make the most sense with the veil jumpers :/#ughh maybe i go back to my first plan of doing an elf necromancer in inquisition and a qunari in veilguard?#but what faction would i choose 😭#rambling
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Just wanted to drop in and say thank you for finding and posting the ONI logs that you do! As someone who loves the story of the game but absolutely would not have the energy to find all of the logs that aren’t on the wiki legitimately its nice to be able to see some of them. The one w/ nails in it is especially interesting! Nails was already one of my favorite dupes but that log made me like them even more tbh. Everyone say thank you to Human Nails™️ for making dupes like actually cognizant.
Also, saw your ONI stuff on artfight! I am absolutely not plotting and scheming anything at all i swear :]
Oghhhh tysm :')!!!! I've been feeling a bit self conscious abt my oni obsession lately so this means a lot! I still need to get around to making my oni story catalogue actually readable, I started a while back but ran out of steam after the like 50th incident with said one with Nails in it lol. And I actually recognized you from artfight! Saw your oni guys a few days ago and I'm honestly obsessed with them, it would be a shame if I had my hand forced and had to draw them :3c
#rat rambles#oni posting#I hope Ill have the energy to draw multiple of them tbh Im bad at chosing what characters to draw#but yeah it is rough to be an oni lore enjoyer in this world where all out of game sources are horribly outdated#and even the stuff thats not outdated on the wiki is often just. straight up wrong.#I believe I went and fixed some of the worst stuff at one point but I mostly only fixed the easier stuff to fix if Im remembering correctly#as in incorrect names and job descriptions and stuff#I should go check if the jackie thrratening to burn nikola's work thing is still there because as far as I know thats just not true#I think that was probably a misremembering of a seed is planted where nails talks abt jackie burning some of their work#because outside of that I dont think jackie burning stuff was ever explicitly brought up?#or maybe I just dont remember it or smth it has been a lil bit since I've reread everything#Ive been rereading some stuff every now and then but I havent sat down and binged it all again yet#well hey Ill have plenty of time to comb over everything once I get back to cleaning up my log doc eventually#and then maybe after that Ill. sigh. go update the wiki. sighhhhhhhh#I rly dont want to but at the same timr Someone needs to for ppl like you aka most of them who arent going to manually hunt it all down#cause trust me it feels like loosing your mind to try to find all the logs in game even while actively cheating#you know its bad when I had an easier time learning how to read the code and finding the logs there then actually finding them all in game#plus as far as I know a decent amount of them are dlc exclusive which makes it even more hard to get into#well maybe not harder but more money yknow#but yeah Im glad I had the experience of hunting lore stuff down manually but I would not wish it upon others lol
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i did spend $78.62 today Its true .
#the diner i went to was wayyy more expensive than i was expecting ill avoid doing that next time.. i just saw they had philly cheesesteak#and i blacked out bc i was so excited#so next saturday ill prolly just eat at home :] or order delivery ir something of that nature. just something small...#the cafe was wayy cheaper than i was exoecting tho it was only 13.96 for a london fog breakfast sandwich And brownie... which is so cool#compared to the diner where i judt got s philly cheesesteak combo (w/ peach smoothie 🤤 (the smoothie wasnt actually that great but it also#wasnt bad)#and it was . 24.55.......#it was a very filling meal tho like im still full i almost couldnt finish my fries. so not super complaining#just in the future i might try 2 eat a little lighter..and also eat somefing less greasy bc i am feeling a bit sickly from the grease#BUT ! thats ok. thats all i have 2 go 2 bed now or ill lose a bedtime point#im sososososo glad that the sheet system is working tho like genuinely i think ive been doing a lot better :] altho maybe im only#thinking that bc today was nice LOL. whichever it is im happy abt it !! ik its only myyy abt to be 4th week doing it. buttt im still happy#ive tried 2 do stuff like this b4 and it just hasnt worked....#tbh the sheet is working so well bc i can just auto calculate math ... so im kind of getting the feeling that transferring it 2 an actual#real life sheet With the cutesy metallic stars wont be helpful. but i want them the cutesy metallic stars...#i could just use the sheet in conjuction. and the irl sheet could just be a fun reminder visualization thang... :]#im genuinely like hopeful. i didnt meet anybody or rly talk 2 anybody today but thats ok . its so nice t just get out of the house..#im hoping once i start going 2 the library every week maybe other regulars will like talk to me yk...#esp once i ermmm get school finished. sincw obviously nobodys gonna talk 2 me while ive got my bigass headphones on doing schoolwork.#ugh sigh i have 2 confiscate my bedtime point its 2 late niw. oh well... gn noww
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