#tbh i wish i could say that i chose to end that relationship but i wasn't the one to cut the tie

[kaikree]

something that isn't talked about much when it comes to healing yourself is that it might end up killing relationships (both romantic and platonic)

and i don't mean that in a way that should dissuade anyone from trying to heal. i mean you are where you are, on a path to try and get better, to do right by yourself and take care of the child inside you and nurture the things that have been hurt and sometimes you look around and realize that the people that you used to stand beside are a half-mile back on the track, so far that you can barely see them

and you want them to be with you still. you know that if they can get themselves up this hill with you that they'll feel better. things can get better and it's hard but you're up here climbing a hill, you know that it's possible and they can do it too! they can climb the hill with you and look out at this great view

but

you can't move their legs for them. and no matter how you wave or cajole or promise that it's not as hard once you get into it, they will not move from where they are. and you can sit there and try to talk to them from afar, but the healthier you get the harder it is to yell back to where they're standing.

sometimes there comes a point that you have to turn around completely because the path they want to stay on will only leash you back to a lower point. and that's... not actually your fault.

and yeah that can get so very frustrating. there have been times in my life where while talking to friends who were in bad spirals i would get frustrated b/c no matter what i said or did it seemed like they were hellbent on staying exactly where they were no matter how much they hated it or how much it hurt them. i could sit down and walk with them through resources and venting sessions and so many ways to to get out of the place they were in and it just... repeated. in a cycle. at some point i had to come to terms with the fact that you can't help someone who refuses to take the first step to help themselves and sometimes sticking around someone like that is only going to keep you tethered to that mental state.

[bluexiao]

#monsieur neuvillette’s relationship headcanons

NOTES. finally a work after months. i missed this, tbh. but hey, here’s my new husband for you. might also have a part 2 of this i feel like i haven’t written everything yet

WARNING. real identity spoilers (nothing too explicit from the current archon quest i haven’t even done it yet oops)

NEUVILLETTE

(Before)

Before the relationship began, it took a long while for him to truly process what he had been feeling towards you—to be frank, he even thought he was getting sick (which was impossible. He never got sick.), though that thought comes to an end the moment he realizes that the effects only happen when he is around you. Only you.

He had heard of love before. Had seen love. Had read about love. Not just the platonic or familial ones, but also romance and more. And yet, he does not understand them, simply because he considers them as something someone like him would not eventually feel.

And yet, it all changed when he first saw you. Curiosity turns to admiration, and admiration turns to anxiety—which is never good; the sweating on his hands and the back of his neck, and the pressure on his chest whenever your presence comes.

He was only reminded of the term romance when he consulted Sigewinne about it.

“Does it only happen around a certain person, Monsieur?” “Monsieur, I think you are simply in love,” she says. “Humans do tend to have the same symptoms but it does not necessarily mean you are sick. It appears to me that you feel the same as well. Does their presence give you happiness?”

He did not even need to ponder over his answer. What he does ponder over is how he should deal with it. The evidence is overwhelming, and there is only one verdict. And yet, where does this lead to?

Contrary to popular belief, he will confess as soon as he is sure of his feelings. He is an honest and honorable man. He would confess his feelings if he could, but it did take some time knowing how busy his schedule was.

The only thing that probably was able to push him to go through was the Melusines. It took them weeks to have him clear his schedule up for a nice little dinner date that they had planned and suggested to the Monsieur.

“Recently, I have come to realize that I have developed a romantic interest with you, Y/n.”

“I do not intend to put pressure on you. I shall accept whatever judgment you make. I do not wish for you to change how you treat me in any way.”

“If you may… I can only ask to indulge in this meal with you for tonight. Your company eases me greatly.”

Brutally honest. It may even drive you crazy how this all seems so easy on him.

But in reality, his palms were sweating underneath his gloves and the slightly cool sensation of the utensils as he blurts out his intentions for setting up such an occasion. His heart was pounding but he could not process whether this was about how you looked especially good tonight or his nervousness with finally confessing his feelings for you.

Or maybe both. Either way, all evidence of such leads to only one thing—you.

Bonus; I do think he’ll reveal who he is first before he gets into a relationship with you but that really depends on how observant you are.

(During)

It was a surprise to him, at the very least, how he had managed to keep you as his lover despite what he lacks. He knew how he was not well-versed with “feelings” per se (just in his mind), but you, the angel that you’ve always been, chose to be with him.

The sudden change did not occur to him much, actually. But he did notice how much his mind lingers to you more often than not, and how he will end up recalling how you are now his one and only lover.

It takes time for him to adjust, but it all started with frequent conversations (much more than before), then sending flowers to your place every other day (constantly), though most of the time they’re delivered by someone else, knowing how busy he is as the Chief Justice.

Or when he started to first brush his gloved fingers to yours.

When he does something, it will be constant. (Maybe this also comes from being responsible and disciplined as shown by being the Chief Justice). All the things that he did before, he still does them now—unless you’ve told him no, of course.

He is definitely a man of his honor!!

And would always ask for your permission first before he touches your hand, or holds them, or hugs you, or kisses you.

He does like pampering and showering you with “offerings” though.

Stuff like buying your favorite flowers or trinkets once or twice a week, making sure you have enough supply of the best water out there. And even with how he always has an umbrella or parasol for you (ones he got ever since you got together; one in his office, one that’s foldable for him to carry under his coat, and one he gave to you for every time you leave the house.

Through the course of the relationship, he learned about the beauty of life, which is how he sometimes brings you flowers despite its short life. However, he still secretly prefers giving you trinkets for your hoard of gifts from him, mostly because it symbolizes his everlasting love for you. (He’s very romantic like that, even if he does not know he is)

He will also introduce every single Melusine in Fontaine. At first, it may surprise you how he knows all of their names, but it will surprise you even more the moment you realize you could do the same. If you do, he’ll love you even more (which he thought was impossible at first as he knew he already loves you very much).

The Melusines will treat you as their other parent the moment it is known amongst all of them that you’re his lover. Sigewinne, for one, would always give you a personalized gift. She would also always send you letters to ask how you are and probably be quite excited whenever you accept an invitation for a cup of tea.

Monsieur Neuvillete is not jealous, but he is possessive and territorial. It’s a dragon instinct, forgive him.

It also comes with being protective. Though he’s not feral, he would make sure to always shield you away from any harm, or anything that might take you away.

One time, he had to deal with a bunch of… shameless individuals who had tried to make a move on you, and though he has great trust on you, he cannot help but have the same self-deprecating voices in the back of his mind.

Though instinctively, he finds himself buying you trinkets or flowers again.

“Hm? You just gave me one earlier, didn’t you?” You look up with a confused look but still hold that smile that stirs butterflies in his chest.

He nodded. “The flowers reminded me of you, mon amour. I could not help but feel the urge to give it to you.”

It does not stop him from giving you offerings.

Of course, he cannot just give up on you. The ruling of whoever deserves your love and affection the most. Of course, he is at an advantage knowing that he’s already your lover.

“Is there something wrong?” You looked up to him, hearing the pitter patter of the rain outside through the taps on the windows. You had your hands on his shoulders, gently rubbing them with your palms.

“It’s nothing, mon cœur, no need to worry.” He flashes you a reassuring smile, and yet, at the back of his mind, he wondered how you could have thought to check on him. Is it perhaps the gloominess in the atmosphere?

You frown as you look at him intently, “There are times when you’d shower me gifts with a saddened look on you. I’m worried, is all.”

He stares at you then. Ah, so you noticed, he thought.

He chuckles as he shakes his head and stands right next to you. “May I?” He opens his arms and you nod and dive right into his chest. He enclosed you into an embrace, relishing the feeling of your warmth.

He kisses your forehead then. “Allow me to bask in your presence for a while.”

For short, one of the best. Definitely a 100/10.

[nqueso-emergency]

I've been a 911 fan since it started, but have only joined the fandom since S7 (what can I say, BT reeled me in). I've been in various fandoms over the years, and seeing/hearing a lot of what the toxic buddie shippers have been up to reminds me a HELL of a lot of the toxic Lena/Kara shippers from the Supergirl fandom. Like Buddie, they interpreted a romantic relationship that didn't exist from the most obscure stuff, they harassed anyone who shipped (mostly Kara) with anyone else, and they sent abuse, death threats etc to the actors who played rival LI's as well as the writers.

And the show suffered for it. One by one, the male cast members who were copping the abuse left the show. Kara's main LI (played by the actor Melissa Benoist (Kara) eventually fell in love with and married in real life) who appeared in S2 left in S3, and the writers seemed too afraid to give their MAIN CHARACTER a LI arc until the final season (who they then promptly killed off). Melissa Benoist chose not to renew her contract after S6 (thus ending the show) and I can understand why, considering the toxic shippers were saying things like they wished her husband and FATHER OF HER CHILD would die, all because his CHARACTER remained the only viable contender for Kara's LI throughout the run of the show. And while some of the actors tried calling these "fans" out for their behaviour, saying "hey, we're human too, please be kind", it didn't help that they had some of those shippers in the media, spinning the tale about this "great romance" (that never existed) and thus never calling these people out (instead boosting their delusions that one day, their ship would be canon - and boy were they pissed when it never did, feeling like they had been "cheated" and "queerbaited").

And then these shippers would justify their actions by saying they wanted to see "representation" with a f/f ship rather than the main ending up with a "straight white guy" while completely ignoring that a) the two characters in their ship were canonically straight and b) there already WAS representation! Kara's sister, one of the main's, was a lesbian! But in an episode where Kara's sister got married to a woman, some of the biased "media" declared that the episode "could have been gayer" if only their pair had got together.

Hmm, doesn't all of this stuff sound kind of familiar...

Thankfully, the 911 actors and writers seem to be handling all this a little better because so far it looks like they aren't caving to a toxic minority and have started shutting it down when it pops up. But these people are only human, and I just worry that one day this hate is going to get to them and we might see the show suffer as a result, whether it be from actors choosing to leave or writers taking the easier option and choosing to no longer tell the stories they want to tell. I know shows don't last forever, but when 911 eventually does end, I'd like it to be able to end organically, not forced to an early end because a bunch of people can't handle their pair not getting together

Thank you for sharing this with me!! Omg it's the exact same shit we're seeing!!

Tbh, I'd say this is the exact reason why Oliver and Ryan don't really comment on the treatment of their LI. It would just add fuel to the fire.

And if you don't think people who were associated with Supergirl talk to 911 people... you're extremely naive.

The real issue here is IF an actor were to leave the show, it would most likely be Ryan seeing as a majority of the problematic people are Ryan/Eddie stans first.

[nartothelar]

In regards to the apocalypse au -- I'm SO upset with how everybody's getting ingos ass for that!! I understand it was selfish of him to go against Emmetts wishes like that and traumatized him because that really was just selfishness on his part. But Emmett was selfish too to give up and leave ingo alone like that. They both know they care for each other more than anything else and that in this situation they are ALL each other has. So it was insanely cruel of Emmett to decide to die and leave ingo like that. Grahhhh and now both of them feel justified in their guilt/resentment

ough it's a really complicated and tragic situation with no right answer tbh. both were being selfish in their own ways:

in ingo's case, he essentially rejected emmet's right to refuse help so that he could save his brother's life, willing to bear the responsibility of his actions and taking on the burden of supporting/protecting a liability. it was made with good intentions but he took away emmet's autonomy and is forcing him to go through this all without proper medical care, let alone the pain and suffering of having to live and survive with such a severe handicap

in emmet's case, he is ignoring ingo's feelings and say in the matter. he doesn't take into account the fact that he is asking ingo to let him die: to stand idle while it happens, to aid in the act even. his decision was made with ingo in mind: he knew that the pain of losing him would be terrible, but still, he couldn't bear being a burden on his brother. having to support someone who can't defend himself and wasting resources on someone that might not even make it, was a death sentence in a situation like this. (and of course the question of, if their situations were reversed, would emmet himself be so accepting of ingo's decision?)

the situation gets more complicated if you also want to get into the discussion of one's right to die. but even then, this situation is hardly one where one could feasibly say they "chose" to die with no other factors influencing one's decision.

at the end of the day, one could argue who was more right or wrong all day. both are suffering and both need to really, truly, talk to eachother if they hope to salvage their relationship and survive this ;w;

[yuujiheart]

JJK 268

Yup read the tcb translation. And now i can say this with confidence, I don't like sukuna's ending at all.. It feels somewhat lacking...By this I don't mean him getting turned into slime and disintegrating.. That part is fine...he never cared about dying like a warrior so he didn't get one...No my problem is we didn't get any introspection, no inner thoughts at all.. I didn't need a whole chp for it but a single panel was also not enough... He rejected yuji's offer and remained stubborn till the end...Seems to me he couldn't believe that yuji was going this far for him... He was treated as a cursed being his whole life and when yuji offers him to live a somewhat normal life he doesn't know what to feel .

sukuna died being loved but does Sukuna himself believe that? If not then what's the point... Can we really say he felt love at all? I am sure he felt but could not digest it...but we have nothing concrete to back that up...We don't even get to know what he really feels about it......And that acknowledgement feels empty tbh..or not impactful enough to me because I can't ascertain what he's acknowledging yuji for.... Maybe for his persistence or his ability to look for humanity in sukuna who thinks of himself as a curse...sukuna was loud when it came to insulting yuji but could do the same when it was his turn to praise him....huhh...so many speculations but not a single logical answer..i have seen many takes but I believe this should have been much more concrete...This is why introspection was necessary.. A person's true nature is revealed when he's on his deathbed....And gege wrapped it up in just one panel...

As per gumi he was scared of death but still chose to die meaning he didn't want to live with yuji... I can't believe both kenny and gojo got to say what they feel about in their dying moments but with sukuna it felt like , he bottled up everything .. And if we trust gumi's words about finger thing. Seems to me he's done here. There will be mentions of him here and there but i am not really interested in that since it wouldn't be his thoughts.. Maybe yuji will be the exception since the way he tried looks to me he can give some info on it.

Otoh, I am proud of yuji. I am glad he remained true to his self just like sukuna... His dialogue with sukuna was absolutely beautiful..i was not surprised at all ... And it confirmed my theory that I have been talking about since 265 that he knows about sukuna past or at least what he really feels.. And ig it's safe to say that sukuna's past was tragic. Enough for yuji to literally plead sukuna to live with him once again.. .. I am completely satisfied with yuji's characterisation... And in the upcoming chp we'll see more of it...

I don't feel like talking about other things because there are still 3 chp left so I can wait till then... But i guess I am done with jjk at least emotionally.. To me merger and sukuna yuji dynamic was really important. I gave up on merger in favour of their relationship. Which I did get but I can't help but feel something is missing.. Sukuna's part really feels empty contrary to yuuji which is brimming with emotions...I am really feeling bitter about it.... I can't even hate this chp properly because I was also proven right about things I theorized ,felt good for the trio except my wish which was for Sukuna to learn about love which I am not really sure if he learned at all..

[storyteller-aprendiz]

I dont think shipping is right in the context of IWTV, as like wanting to characters to be together/end up together (someone pls explain what is shipping to me, I still dont understand).

For me is more about which of these toxic/abusive relationships you find more interesting and want to explore, examine, and talk about. And that for me is Louis and Armand.

Because unlike Louis relationship with Lestat, I think Louis has more agency (?) In this relationship. Like he knowingly (?) chose to be with Armand as an act of punishment

And like idk but it is really interesting to see someone know that this person is bad for them, that they had a hand at doing the worst that can be done to you, and you still having love for them and choosing to be with them even as they harm you in horrible, unimaginable ways. Like we could say that is just Louis trauma that keep him tied to Armand, but seeing how easy he left the guy in the finally (unlike you know, having to resort to murder) makes me think that some part of Louis was consciouslly saying with Armand.

Which like so fucked up, but also so interesting to examine.

Which also brings me to the difference in reception between 1x5 and 2x5. I don't really read posts talking about Lestat, but in some ways I think people talk more about 2x5 because the psychological nature of the fight, the way it's like language/emotions based rather than physical which in my opinion is more interesting to talk about.

And again with Louis agency (?), like he was not in you know, Armands playing field, because of the drugs and suicidal tendencies but he still manage to hurt Armand in ways he couldnt (and didn't) if the fight was physical.

Which brings me to another aspect of their relationship I found interesting. Like I don't fear for Louis' physical safety when he is with Armand unlike when he is with Lestat- though considering he is suicidal I maybe should. But that's the point also, like how physicological/emotional abuse is as powerful but very different from physical abuse and we don't see that talk about.

Plus the fact that it comes from a place of *care* of all places.

So yeah, I am sooo happy Louis dumped Armand out of his ass, and that he is happy (?) In the finale of the series and that's it there's nothing else.

But I still enjoy looking at their relationship and how Armand (and Louis) fucked it all up. Because like if only the guy, Arun, had trusted Louis, had learn how to be in a relationship outside of like coven/vampirism, if only he could have relax instead of plot. Alas.

Still the healthiest relationship Armand has ever had. Anyways, I wish we could have seen more of Jonah, see how Louis interacts in a normal (?) Relationship, which tbh I think that like Armand, he cant.

[raeofalbion]

Fic Ask Meme:

Because it’s one of my go to favs: Shatter Albion Series.

Is there any scene that you cut from the main story that you wish you could go back to add? (Or alternatively, tell us about a cut scene that you wish you could have included)

( meme ) -- Thank you! :D <3 And thank you for reading! <3 I'm so glad you like the series.

Y'know, it's funny, cuz this is exactly why I rewrote MoI back in...my goodness, was it 2016? (Surely not that long ago??) There were just so many scenes that needed elaborating and missing bits that needed to be added and it felt necessary to do that before continuing on with the series.

But yes! There are still some I cut and either would like to add back in or might repurpose for later. (Sorry, this is long.)

From MoI:

The first time Victoria and Reaver sleep together. I've tried to write this so many times and it just...doesn't ever work out the way I'm picturing it. There's like...half a dozen-ish cut drafts in a document somewhere. Maybe one day I'll make it work.

The original, hand-written draft of MoI included a scene with Logan questioning Ben after Victoria disappears from Reaver's house, suspicious about why his sister's suddenly not writing him. In the end, it was cut cuz it didn't really make sense to have him go to Ben to find out if Victoria had somehow contacted him, but I still kinda like the idea.

Continuing along the Victoria-running-away track: there's a couple little outlines somewhere for a follow up to the scene where she decides to leave, showing how she got out of Reaver's house. One of them involved her actually shooting Reaver with his own gun; the other involved Reaver essentially stalking her through the house, not interacting or trying to stop her but watching her all the while. In the end, I couldn't make up my mind and I felt like nothing I wrote there would be 100% satisfying to readers, so I chose to scrap both ideas. Not sure if that was the right decision, tbh.

There was a scene before the wedding with Walter and Jasper playing cards in the original draft. Tonally, it didn't work, but I still like it.

There was a scene where Reaver sort of...playfully faux-crowned Victoria in the castle? He's being an ass and very sarcastic about it, and Victoria hates the entire thing, but it was supposed to lead to them having semi-public sex. ...which is also the reason it got cut. What smut I'd written was just...not good. And I never really had the will (no pun intended) to rewrite it, so I scrapped it.

An early on scene where Reaver and Victoria get into a proper row after she walks in on him with one of his...uh...friends. I actually had to check and make sure I didn't add this one back in and I'm not sure why I didn't. Reaver yelling at her about them "pretending to play house" and about how he was never going to choose Victoria above his own interests would've been very 👀👀👀 given how things turn out.

Not something I actually cut, but, if I were to do another rewrite, I'd like to add some more Logan scenes, just for the tragedy angle.

From DoV:

Cut one of the mystery dreams (well, I guess now that we're near the end of Blackout I can just say it: one of the dreams she shares with Scythe, where he's trying to contact her) cuz it was too repetitive.

A couple tiny (very tiny!) scenes with Faraday. Just chatting with him. In hindsight, they were unnecessary to cut.

I've talked about this one before, but the original scene where Victoria and Reaver talk about their relationship was cut and rewritten. Originally, Reaver was going to confess his feelings for her there. But it didn't fee organic and didn't really work and it kinda just pissed off Victoria worse. So instead the scene is -gestures to the story- but the line about the singing fish is as close to confessing as Reaver can get himself at that point.

From Blackout:

Technically the entire first draft was cut because my pc ate it, so I'm sure there's a lot of things on there I would like to add back in. T-T

Cut some flashbacks with the Crawler just for length, nothing really plot relevant, though. (I may come to regret this.)

Also cut some really stupid jokes of Reaver's. (I do not regret this.)

Cut a lot of political stuff that will affect the next story, and I...have begun to suspect this will come to bite me in the ass because a couple things were much more relevant than I thought they'd be. :S SO. I don't know what I'll do about that yet.

The next chapter has a rather large chunk from it that was cut and is in the process of being rewritten. Basically: Reaver and Victoria being horny now that they're reunited. It doesn't fit, tonally or pacing-wise, but I am a little sad y'all won't get to read Scythe interrupting them and Reaver complaining under his breath about not getting off. Maybe I'll turn it into a oneshot.

+ Bonus!

Technically there's an entire story I've cut from Shattered Albion (set between DoV and Blackout) about Reaver and Faraday investigating one of the DLCs together. I would really like to add it, cuz I think it would set up some things for the final book and I think it's fun, but I'm not sure if anyone actually would want to read it.

[rubywolf0201]

You know, I liked the ending but I have a lot of criticism.

1. mahoro saying that ken is a gorilla that was disgusting.

2. Ichiya's illness doesn't make sense to me, it seemed like something superficial, this episode was done in a hurry.

3.arajin continued with the same desire, that was horrible, it seems like he didn't learn anything.

4. What is that shadow that Matakara carries, I honestly don't understand.

5. ichiya being forgotten in the end i like him so much.

things I wanted to have at the end.

1. a frank conversation between Senya and Ichiya, something deeper and that made sense.

2. arajin changed his desire.

3. mahoro had a better construction.

4. that Matakara had spoken to his brother in the hospital.

5. the complete story of the geniuses.

1. It is. Like I said, I didn’t catch on to that until the final episode where she not only called him that name but she and possibly the two Siguma grunts restrained him for no reason all just so that Marito could wake up (I mean there could be other methods of waking him up just saying)

2. Agreed. I thought it would’ve been better if they just leave it at him being jealous and inferior to Senya because it made more sense.

3. I always felt like Arajin crushing on girls felt like he is escaping from his past and thought it would’ve been better if in the finale in feh and Matakara made up, he dropped it completely.

4. Tbh, I don’t think the show ever expanded on the shadows that much. All we do know is that they target people with weak hearts but it is never explained what it is or how it came to be or why it even chose to haunt Matakara in the first place.

5. Yeah cuz as soon as the fighting between the djinns end and Ichiya got absorbed by Matakara just so the fighting between the two friends happen, I don’t think we even see or hear Ichiya delivering the final words before he and Senya leave to ascend to a higher plane.

6. Yeah, I do wish Senya and Ichiya do have a conversation about how the other felt but at the same time, Ichiya is like quite stubborn about it until he revealed it in the finale.

7. Arajin did change his desire in the beginning of him and Senya merging (‘I want to save Matakara’) but I sorta felt that they should’ve kept it when he got knocked out as shown when he tried to reach out for Matakara.

8. Very true. It is a disappointment with how Mahoro didn’t receive any kind of development whatsoever. You would think with her parallels with Matakara, she would’ve at least have a normal relationship with her brother and let herself be friends with the cast but nope. She’s still the same.

9. Eh I do wish someone else should’ve texted Matakara, prior to being haunted by the shadows and Ichiya corrupting him, that his brother is in the hospital and that he should dropped by to visit in some episode (I mean didn’t you guys have phones in earlier episodes?) but I can’t complain much since the after credits have Matakara visiting his brother in the hospital so there isn’t much to complain.

10. The genie lore was kind of weak to begin with IMO because right after Senya and Ichiya got shot with the flintlock guns that are supposedly where they’re kept, we don’t even know how did they even become genies in the first place or if the guns their assailant shot them with have anything magical in it.

Overall, as much as I enjoy BUCCHIGIRI?!, I don’t have much problem with the ending asides from a few issue (The Teacher being easily forgiven by the NNL Recepitonist despite stealing a cat from their property or how Akutaro got back into NG Boys still not having changed his desire for revenge) since it’s satisfactory to me but there quite a few things that could’ve benefitted from better execution and BUCCHIGIRI?! is one of them.

[spacenintendogs]

5, 6, 1 for the ask game? If it’s not too much trouble ^^

1. Which part of the series was your introduction to HTTYD? How old were you when you first became a fan?

i rmr it pretty well. i was abt 11 years old & my mom found the first movie on comcast on demand & wanted to find a movie for us we (my siblings & i) hadn't seen so she chose it. i rmr the year prior with all the commercials on tv & stuff & was like hey!! i rmr wanting to see this! cool!! and i rlly liked the movie!!!!! my full obsession, however, didn't start until abt a year later when she brought home this pack of the first 6 books (that's all that was available at the time!) & reading through them i rewatched the movie & we had it on dvd by that point and that was it. the rest is history

5. What type of dragon do you think best matches your personality?

oh gosh. the impulse to say my fave but whispering deaths don't rlly "match" me personality wise. tbh a gronckle, me thinks. with a personality like meatlug or shattermaster. :') they're such goofy goobers but they're also rlly sweet & i am so soft for that LOL. they remind me of the dog i grew up with with how snorty they are & the way they wag their tails :'))

6. What are your favourite ships in the fandom and why?

haaaa.

snotstrid... IDK their chemistry is just??? i love how they constantly bicker & snotlout is just a piece of shit & it causes astrid to retaliate & treat him like that even when he's not actively being a piece of shit which pisses him off & yet they always somehow end up by each other or saving each other much to astrid's chagrin half the time & then snotlout's confusion UGH ESP SNOTLOUT'S ANGELS the nose flick & then astrid admitting she doesn't hate him & his FACE HIS FUCKING FACE he's so got a genuine crush on her but doesn't know how to Behave & i love them getting together & then breaking up & for astrid it's smth she looks back on fondly but never wants to go back to while snotlout is stuck adding her to his list of ppl being the one that got away & yearning..... they're also so funny together & i feel like if they're ever on the same page they're so powerful & it's scary LOL

fishlout used to be my fave & i still love it. rtte spent more time building their relationship to each other than either of them with ruffnut & we all saw the potential of what could have been :') it can easily fall into the jock x nerd thing but it's more than that to me bc while fishlegs is anxious he doesn't take snotlout's shit lying on his back (esp after gem of a different color) & by rtte fishlegs is rolling his eyes & quipping back & it's just forever this contest of who comes out on top & then u have thw whole thor bonecrusher thing & it can so easily be an exploration in snotlout's bisexuality (and fishlegs'!) esp after return of thor bonecrusher when snotlout is just SO happy fishlegs is back to the point where he gives him a hug (and was like :D woah when fishlegs bodied a dude to protect him) & they def had a brief stint after that. they don't talk abt it. it's only between them... snotlout yearns so badly...

i'm realizing my fave ship is anything that'll make snotlout yearn & wish he could have someone as all of his friends find their ppl or are comfortable with themselves enough to not need a romantic partner LMAO

i like a lot more ships than i talk abt tbh!! i just like taking characters like they're my dolls and making them kiss lol. heathstrid, ruffther, hiccstrid, heathlegs, rufflout, rufflegs, tufflegs, eretlout, etc!! i like the art & fics ppl make abt tufflout but it's just not my thing (if that makes sense!!) i also like lot of the poly ships, too! literally i just thrive off making this group of teens who probably spend too much time together but don't rlly have anyone else to spend time with have relationship drama LOL

[veliseraptor]

April Reading Recap

so apparently I read a fuckton in April. I put that on the week off for Passover and also a number of very fast reads last month. here goes

The Spite House by Johnny Compton. Might be the best horror book I'd read in a while, and I did not see the twist coming for a long while. Good and very spooky on the whole, but the "creepy kids as ghosts" thing took some of the luster off it. Still, some good and original ideas here and I'll be watching for more books by this author.

The Nine Eyes of Lucien by Madeleine Roux. Not very good writing and a good third of the book was rehashing the events of the end of Campaign 2, which I just watched. It was fine, I guess? But I didn't find it added much.

The Red Tent by Anita Diamant. I've had this one on my list for literal years - it's a retelling of the Biblical story of Dinah, Jacob's one daughter. I kind of wish I'd read it sooner, when (a) I was less burned out on retellings/reinterpretations of familiar stories, and (b) when I would've been less bothered by the flavor of gender essentialism of the text and could have appreciated other things about it without getting stuck in feeling iffy about that. I am trying to work out why it bothers me so much that Diamant chose to change the reading of the text from (an implied) rape to a consensual love affair, and I'm not quite sure I can explain that.

It's an interesting book and I'm glad I read it but I don't think I'd recommend it without disclaimers; I think in some ways it's more interesting as an artifact of the cultural movement it comes out of than anything else. Would analyze in a class about Jewish feminist responses to stories in Tanakh (or Talmud, tbh).

Six Myths of Our Time: Little Angels, Little Monsters, Beautiful Beasts and More by Marina Warner. Fascinating collection of short essays originally given as lectures on the BBC, apparently - the one essay about the way the West conceptualizes the simultaneous purity/monstrosity of children was particularly interesting to me. Interesting piece of work I picked up totally by happenstance because it was short and looked interesting and it lived up to both qualities.

Gallows Hill by Darcy Coates. Good spooky horror recommended by @cigaretteburnslikefairylights and actually legit scared me in places, which doesn't happen all that often to me anymore when I'm reading horror. (I'm still a weenie watching it.) I actually...liked this one start to resolution and am going to be looking up more of Darcy Coates' writing, because if it's not, you know, doing something super ~innovative~ it is good spooky reading and that's really what I've been craving.

Krakatoa: The Day the World Exploded by Simon Winchester. Reading this book was a weird experience. I went into it just thinking "ooh, book about an interesting natural disaster, I love volcanoes" and came out of it going "whoa, surprise Islamophobia," checked the publication date, and learned it was 2003, whereupon I was miserably unsurprised. I don't know why the author felt like he needed to make colonial apologetics and blame the post-eruption upheaval on Islamic fundamentalists manipulating the natives into uprising against their Dutch masters but apparently he did. (I'm exaggerating. But not that much.)

The geology stuff was interesting. Mr. Winchester should've stuck with that and the reportage of the eruption itself and left politics out of it.

Violent Phenomena: 21 Essays on Translation ed. by Kavita Bhanot & Jeremy Tiang. This might be my favorite book I read in April, honestly. It's a really good collection of essays about the concept of decolonizing translation, and what that means, and whether it's possible, and the uneasy and uncomfortable relationship between translation and imperialism. I didn't agree with all the essays in here, and they didn't necessarily all agree with each other, but all of them at least had something interesting to say. I would recommend this one to people who can find it - it's by a small press - who are interested in translation or who frequently read in translation. The writers have a lot to say that I think is worth thinking about.

She Is a Haunting by Trang Thahn Tran. I think I just need to give up reading YA books with the realization they're generally not for me, though this one almost had me. It's something about the...I know there's a range of styles, I can't generalize style across the genre, but there is a texture to YA writing that doesn't quite work for me.

I love the concept - diaspora horror, colonialist horror, some really fucked up body horror stuff that got surprisingly gruesome - and would love to read a slightly different book about it, but alas, that book wasn't this one.

American Midnight: Democracy's Forgotten Crisis, 1917-1921 by Adam Hochschild. Another contender for favorite book I read this month though I think this one loses out to Violent Phenomena and possibly Gallows Hill, though comparing horror fiction to historical nonfiction feels kind of unfair. Anyway, I knew some of what this book was digging into - the Sedition Act and the intensely violent repression that was going on in the United States during World War I - but I learned a lot more here.

The depressing thing about reading this, though, was watching (so to speak) the brutal crushing of a once fairly robust American Socialist Party such that it never recovered. Not to mention the grinding down of the labor movement, which I think was at its most powerful during this period of time and hasn't been as strong since.

Just looking at that and wondering what might've been if Woodrow Wilson wasn't such a fucking dick.

Elektra by Jennifer Saint. I feel so funny about this book. I read another mythology retelling even though I swore not to because a Tumblr user I respect mentioned it being good; my experience was that it wasn't bad and it didn't actively bother me like some other retellings I could name, but I don't know that I'd actually call it good. Mostly I'd say I wasn't annoyed, just uninspired.

Of the three narrators, Elektra was definitely the best, and I really did like the construction of her relationship with Clytemnestra, which really felt like the meat of the book. (Perhaps, considering the House of Atreus, that's a bad turn of phrase to use.) The Cassandra sections felt like a distraction, mostly a way to keep the reader up with what was going on across the sea and provide some action in between the familial drama. Ultimately I just felt like those sections took away from the Elektra/Clytemnestra dynamic, leaving insufficient meat.

Fuzz: When Nature Breaks the Law by Mary Roach. I went through a period of time where I was reading all of Mary Roach's books, and was kind of obsessed with them, so this was sort of returning to an old and familiar friend. I found I wasn't quite as enamored with this one as I remembered being of some of her others (I think I remember Stiff being my favorite), but it was an interesting look at the intersections between human and animal - which is really more what this is about than law, per se. It's about what we do when animals cause problems for humans, from monkeys to bears, and the questions that are raised about the best way to handle those issues.

Nero: Matricide, Music, and Murder in Imperial Rome by Anthony Everitt & Roddy Ashworth. I'm so confused by this book. From the insistence on referring to Nero as "princeps" throughout the book, to the random dropping of French in places it really didn't need to be, to the frankly credulous approach to the sources, particularly when it comes to sex, even when the author mentioned how sex is often a proxy for politics in Roman historical writing, the weird sideways digression into "did Rome have gay marriage?", the weird "maybe she got what she deserved" aside about Messalina's death...

I learned a fair amount, I can say that, I'm not as knowledgeable about this period's Julio-Claudians. Frankly I think Agrippina (the Younger) was the real star of this book, despite Anthony Everitt's heroic efforts to make Nero the protagonist. Buddy, I see your point, but you're pushing a little too hard here.

Anyway. Weird reading experience, I'm tempted to recommend it just so someone else can either validate it or go "what are you talking about, this was a perfectly normal history book."

---

woof long post, but hey it was a lot of books. currently reading A Fever in the Heartland for more American racism in the early 20th century. I have a stack of library books that are waiting for me and I think the next one is probably going to be The Social Lives of Animals, which will either be really enjoyable or annoy the hell out of me, possibly both.

[nobodysdaydreams]

Your take on the si-5 is great. Kepcobi somewhat makes me cringe, as popular as it is. Its an abusive relationship whichever way you slice it

Anon, thank you for the compliment. I'm glad my SI-5 post has hit home for so many people.

Kepcobi as a ship was not the focus of that post (it was more about the SI-5's dynamic in general), but as for your thoughts on Kepcobi being abusive, I 100% agree that it is. Disclaimer: I know a lot of people who follow me ship Kepcobi, and that's okay. I personally do not ship characters that often, it's just not really my thing, but you can ship whatever you want, as long as we're talking about two consenting adults and not glorifying or romanticizing toxic and abusive elements and calling them out for what they are, it's your life. Ship what you want, have fun. It’s not like I or anyone else can stop you.

But with that said, while I'm hyperfixating and dropping hot takes and long character analysis ramblings, this does bring up another one of my very controversial Wolf359 opinions, which is that, in fairness to the SI-5, most of the most popular ships in Wolf359 and the ones with the most canon evidence are either set up for tragedy, incredibly toxic and abusive (most of them fall into this category tbh), or out of character and most of these hold true regardless of whether you look at the relationship platonically or romantically.

Again, ship what you want, do not let me stop you, and this opinion doesn't mean I don't see the appeal of these ships and why people ship them (that I understand), but I still stand by this statement, love in depth character analysis, and would be happy to explain it.

Let me break this down.

Arguably the healthiest and most popular ship in Wolf359 is Doug and Hera, but even that one is still doomed to tragedy from the very beginning whether you look at them platonically or romantically. Even before Doug loses his memories, Hera has a whole monologue where she contemplates what it will be like for her when Doug "goes away forever" because she is an AI could theoretically live until the end of the universe, and he is a human with a very unhealthy lifestyle of cigarettes, alcohol, junk food, poor hygiene and little exercise. He has magic alien blood in him now, but even that would probably only extend his lifespan so much. Also, any relationship involving Hera risks a power dynamic issue by design (because she's an AI whose free will can be taken away through coding at any time, and she was designed literally to serve the crew). However, I believe this affects Hera's relationship with Doug noticeably and significantly less than the other characters, particularly because we see Doug depend on Hera just as much as she depends on him, though in different ways. However, Hera still expresses her frustration that Doug doesn't realize she can always hear him and that he can't understand or experience everything she does and that he initially called her "robot girl" and didn't realize he was being insensitive (though to be fair, Doug accidentally said insensitive things to everyone). They do work through these barriers over the course of the podcast and it's not necessarily Doug or Hera's fault some of these miscommunications and issues exist, it's circumstance. I do really appreciate that Doug relies on Hera as much as she relies on him due to his executive functioning difficulties. I will say as someone with ADHD who often has friends and partners with more anxious and aware tendencies that balance me out really well, I related heavily to Doug Eiffel and do see why he and Hera have such a close relationship. Their friendship is wonderful, I see the appeal of the ship, and I love these characters so much they are my favorites, and I desperately wish that they could have had better things. They deserved so much better. But their relationship is, unfortunately, no matter how you chose to look at it (platonic or romantic) very tragic from the start due to the circumstances that make their relationship complicated and doomed to end up with Hera alone in the end whenever and however Doug and the rest of her friends “go away forever”. 💔 (and I do plan to write a fic about this because it makes me so sad. Poor Hera).

While we're talking about Hera, I'll also mention her and Maxwell. I’ve always believed that there is a difference between what I personally ship, and what we have canon evidence to prove. And while it took me a very long time to come around to the SI-5, I do think you could argue that we have some canon evidence that Hera might have had a crush (romantic or friend crush however you’d prefer to see it) based on the way she talked about Maxwell. Was this a mutual crush? Clearly not to same degree given Maxwell's betrayal, and therein lies the power dynamic issue I mentioned earlier, which is very applicable to Hera and Maxwell given Maxwell's coding skills. Hera likes Maxwell because she helped fix her and while Maxwell did so at great personal sacrifice and views the AI as people, she still has the coding skills to hurt and control them if she wants to (and she ultimately chooses to do so). Even though she apologizes for it and doesn't want to do it, she still does it, and it's pretty terrifying when you think about it. She forces Hera to tell her where her friends are and be subservient to her commands, very similar to what Pryce does with the restraining bolts. Part of what makes Hera's character so sad to me is that she's set up to be in abusive situations. She needs Maxwell, but Maxwell doesn't need her. She likes Maxwell because Maxwell views her as a person when so few people do, but even that is just the bare minimum. If Maxwell had the chance that Jacobi and Kepler did to change, maybe things could have been different, and I do really wish we could have seen a redeemed Maxwell develop a healthier friendship with Hera (and wrote a whole fic chapter where Hera reflects on that in the middle of my “a duckling imprints on Jacobi” fic), but unfortunately, we don’t get to see it.

And speaking of characters that are set up to be in abusive situations: Cutter and Pryce, and this again doesn’t matter if you see them as romantic or platonic. Look, I understand that just because two people are evil does not mean they are necessarily in an abusive relationship, you can be evil and still love your wife or husband or “weirdly devoted platonic coworker”. But even though I think Cutter and Pryce care about each other, I still think their relationship is abusive and we have canon evidence for it too. Disclaimer: I don't like Miranda Pryce, she was awful towards Hera and the other AI, she did unspeakable things, she's evil. She's a bad mean lady. But that doesn't mean she can't also be in an abusive relationship, and I believe she is in one whether you see it as romantic or not. You can be an abuser and a victim, those are not mutually exclusive. Even if you assume the whole "Pryce met Cutter as a child when he was an old man" thing was just a metaphor that didn't mean anything, there's still probably some sort of age gap between them even if they met when they were both adults. Putting that aside, there's still a huge power dynamic issue between the two of them. In the surface, they are in an alliance that benefits them both, but the benefits are not equal in the slightest. Their alliance allows Cutter to get a possibly infinite extension on his otherwise normal life span, have superpowers, get his revenge, and control the world. Their alliance allowed Pryce to live and see for the first time. She was disabled and going to die young, she was angry at the world and was originally motivated to build AI to be her friends to do whatever she wanted simply because no one else loved her or wanted to be her friend and she felt the only way to get that was to force people to love and obey her. Cutter was the only one giving her an option that allowed her to survive. That doesn't make it right, but it does make it understandable as does her frustration, bitterness, and hatred towards herself and humanity compared to Cutter's more positive silly attitude. But even once they're in a partnership, it's not a balanced partnership.

The story they tell at the beginning of Brave New World puts her and Cutter in a very uncomfortable "Cutter is her savior" narrative that, if you do assume they met when they were both adults, explicitly infantilizes Pryce and romanticizes that dynamic. We also hear multiple examples of other characters, both good guys and bad guys, acting disgusted or disturbed by Pryce's appearance, particularly her eyes, and Cutter seems to be the only one who isn't bothered by them. We also see Cutter interact with almost the entire cast throughout the course of the show, but Pryce mostly interacts with just Cutter or is in a lab by herself until the very end. She’s extremely isolated and most of the main characters don’t even know who she is until the end despite her being Cutter’s “work wife/worse half” and supposedly second in command at Goddard Futuristics. Now, don't get me wrong, I do think Cutter loved Pryce. I just think he did so in a very controlling way. Sure, he allowed her to call him by his first name and speak disrespectfully to him and openly criticize him, he called her the smartest woman in the world and admitted she was even smarter than he was, he praised her for her AI and rebuilding the world in her image and called her a god, and he was worried when she was in danger. But he also told her the one thing he feared was her making her own decisions in a crisis and messing up and that her one job was to back whatever decisions he made. He insisted on having control and the final say in their relationship. Then he forced her to apologize to him in the most condescending and patronizing way possible. It's giving 1950s in the worst possible way, which does sadly make sense given Cutter was born in the 1920s. Furthermore, Cutter also briefly considers whether it's even worth rescuing Pryce even though he does care about her. He ultimately does, and given that this is Cutter, that probably means a lot, but he still criticizes her for her behavior right after she almost died. It’s certainly more emotional abuse than anything else, but the signs are still there and the way that Pryce acts after she forgets about Cutter and his plans haunts me to this day. She goes from screaming at Hera and Doug to quietly apologizing for being confused and asking for help. I’ve never met a character I dislike so much and yet feel so bad for. I made a whole post about how Pryce and Cutter’s relationship and characters were a toxic mirror of Hera and Doug’s relationship and characters and I honestly think those might be some of my favorite parallels. I could talk about them forever. I will likely make more posts about it. But onto the other ships.

Then we have Kepler and Jacobi, and I already did my whole SI-5 post, but yeah…look. Is there canon evidence to support the ship? sure. Is it a healthy ship in a platonic or romantic sense? Heck no. Warren Kepler is a walking HR violation and some of the comments that he makes are just straight up… I don’t even know what to say other than Kepler is an arrogant jerk and a bully who clearly loves that he can get away with this kind of stuff, and Jacobi’s devotion and loyalty to Kepler is incredibly unhealthy. There’s also the issue of the savior complex and power dynamic issues I talked about with Hera and Maxwell and Pryce and Cutter that show up AGAIN here because Kepler saved Jacobi from unemployment and is his boss. Like with the other ships, I think Kepler did care about Jacobi to an extent just like Cutter cared about Pryce and Maxwell cared about Hera, but like those relationships, I still don’t think Kepler cared about Jacobi as much as he needed to or in the way he should have. In this case, it’s more in a “I care about you because we’re having fun or rather I’m having fun, and that’s what I care about” way rather than an “I sincerely love and care about you” way as evidence by the fact that Kepler compared Jacobi to whisky, didn’t care that his best friend died, and these two tried to kill each other. Though I do think a part of Kepler was sorry in end and acted more like he genuinely cared about Jacobi, it took him a ridiculously long time to get there. Plus then we have Jacobi’s whole implied thing with Klein “going badly” where he admits to being the toxic one and look: having that happen with one person at the evil space company is bad enough but two? Jacobi needs help. The man is a red flag running towards other red flags.

Finally, we have any romantic ship involving Renée Minkowski and any of the crew. Minkowski and Lovelace is the most popular one, but honestly, any romantic ship with her, whether it’s healthy or not, feels super out of character to me for a very simple reason. I cannot believe that Renée Minkowski would EVER cheat on her husband. The rest of the ships I’ve mentioned, toxic as most of them are (Doug and Hera being the main exception though their story is still very sad 💔) I will concede do have various degrees canon evidence, but the idea that Minkowski would get in a romantic relationship with anyone in her crew is just so wildly out of character to me. Minkowski, the woman who follows the rules of Pryce and Cutter, memorized the whole manual, and lies awake at night fretting about ethical dilemmas, willingly breaking her wedding vows? Absolutely not. She would never. She might have had a disagreement with her husband about coming to space, but they didn’t divorce over it. Clearly they weathered that storm, and Dominik was willing to wait for her to come back, he supported her dreams! She calls him wonderful, and the video messages she tried to send him were so sweet and personal you can just tell she loves this man and they have a good relationship. Now, with that said, I don’t think it’s entirely impossible to consider Minkowski getting into another relationships after her return to Earth. Dominik thinks she’s been dead for a few years and it’s not crazy to think he might have moved on and she unfortunately might have to move on too, but until that’s confirmed, I do not believe Minkowski would ever even entertain the idea of breaking her word to him, I just can’t see that being in character for her at all. Again, you can ship what you want, don’t let me stop you, but personally, I headcanon that Minkowski and Dominik are still happily married to this day, if nothing else because Dominik is probably pretty well off if he has his own secretary plus whatever salary bump it’s implied that Cutter gave him after Minkowski started working for Goddard, and he is probably more than happy to provide lodging and support to his wife’s loyal crew who saved her life upon their return. It’s the least they deserve after the horrors they went through: a lifetime of luxury vacations and five star hotels on Dominik Koudelka’s dime. Plus I feel like the reactions of the crew would be so funny. Minkowski invites them to stay with her since they have no place to go, and they’re worried about taking up all this space in her house, but then they get to her place and realize how big it is and are like “finding out you were married was shocking enough, but HE AND HIS FAMILY ARE INSANELY RICH TOO??? And super generous and willing to let us be your free loader roommates in your million dollar mansion to thank us for saving you??? Why on Earth would you not mention this earlier?” And Minkowski’s like “he’s a wonderful person and is the love of my life, the fact that he and his family have tons of money is not why I married him, nor is it a detail I was required to share with any of you”. Anyway, now Doug and Jacobi are getting invited to all these fancy rich people VIP events with Minkowski and Dominik and Minkowski has to beg them not to embarrass her (*cut to these grown men doing cannonballs in the country club pool*).

That’s about it for the main popular and canon ships. I suppose if you want to include Lovelace’s crew or some of the other crews, you could get healthy romantic ships out of that (although they’d unfortunately still be tragically doomed for obvious reasons). As for the other characters, I know Hilbert is mostly just for crack ships, but I also feel like the character would be so disgusted at the thought of being shipped with anyone, platonically or romantically. He’s not as old as Pryce and Cutter, but he’s still old enough to be almost everyone else’s dad. I feel like if asked about workplaces relationships for an official form his reply would be “absolutely not. My coworkers are young enough to be my children. Children I don’t even like. Children I would disown.” “They’re in their 20s and 30s. That’s an adult.” “If they are adults, they might try acting like it.”

I also find any platonic or romantic ship with Rachel unbelievable unless it ends with her betraying them for power, which I think she’s done before. I made a post about it, but the fact that she immediately understood the choice Cutter was facing when he had to decide whether rescuing Pryce was worth risking the mission makes me think she’s been in a similar situation.

To make a classic Bods’ long post short (too late), all these relationships fascinate me whether you choose to see them platonically or romantically (everyone has their preferences), but although many of them have canon evidence and strong narrative appeal, most if not all of them are tragic, toxic, or in the case of some of the romantic ones, out of character and/or random. I do understand the appeal and encourage you to ship what you want, write the relationships the way you wish they were (sometimes we all need that), but at the same time, the canon shipping and relationships thing being mostly sad and/or toxic is not just an SI-5 or Kepler and Jacobi exclusive issue. I just wish we had more redemption arcs and had them sooner. Then maybe we could have nice things. But no. So many of these characters just HAD to go and be evil and ruin not only their own relationships, but other people’s too. Sad.

[roseposts-stuff]

hello folks!!! it is time for doctor who series 9 rankings!!!

1. Heaven Sent (9x11) - peak. fucking. doctor who. one of my (and many other's) favourite episodes of ALL TIME and for a REASON!!!! it's so clever and well written and well acted and it's visually GORGEOUS like!!! peter capaldi is so good and i firmly believe he's the only actor who could've pulled this off, basically a 50 minute monologue come on man!!! i wish i could watch it for the first time again it's brilliant

2. Face the Raven (9x10) - SO GOOD!!! i love rigsy and i'm so glad he came back haha. clara's death is actually so heartbreaking and SJSJSJ the conversation between her and the doctor omg THE WAY SHE USES HER LAST MOMENTS TO MAKE SURE HE WON'T SEEK REVENGE OR ANYTHING OMG i love that!!! and it's also like visually so so so beautiful like visuals are a big part of how much i enjoy an episode as you might have noticed if you've seen my rankings before, like honestly i don't care too much about if the cgi is good or not etc. but them colours and lights and stuff need to be right!!!!!

3. Under the Lake/Before the Flood (9x3/9x4) - this is, again, SO good, i LOVE timey wimeyness doctor who should do WAY MORE timey wimeyness like you're a time travel show, USE IT!!!! i like the side characters and the beginning of before the flood with 12 explaining bootstrap paradox to the audience is so great and THE FADE FROM 12'S GUITAR TO THE THEME!!! it makes me so happy

4. Hell Bent (9x12) - is it a perfect episode? no. but i think it gets SO MUCH undeserved hate. i love love love clara in this, and the scene where her or the doctor have to forget everything is so good imo. i'm really interested in gallifrey and i haven't seen much of classic who yet so i take every scene in new who very gratefully and with great interest. i THINK people criticise the episode for having 12 suddenly be so ready to kill and stuff, and in any other episode i'd agree, but after heaven sent and the way his and clara's relationship is so codependent and toxic, it makes complete sense in my opinion. i loved when the doctor and me met at the end of the universe it was interesting imo, and i LOVEEEE that clara and me's TARDIS is the same one 11, river and the ponds were in series 6!!! and i like the way first you think clara has forgotten stuff but then you find out it's 12 who did (idk if it was obvious to everyone else but me, you can fool me so so so easily it's not even funny i believe almost anything the plot wants me to believe. which probably greatly affects the fact that i can enjoy doctor who so easily.) yeah i really really enjoy this episode

5. Last Christmas (9x0) - honestly why don't people talk about this episode more?? like it's SO interesting and just a bit scary, i love love love the idea of dreams inside dreams, like i don't really have complaints about this episode tbh it's really great and has a fascinating concept

6. The Husbands of River Song (9x0) - this is peak comedy i was laughing half of the duration of the episode probably, i love river obviously, and i liked her and 12 together. gotta love nardole as well lmao. i don't have much to say except SLAY socialist 12 and this is so funny like 80% of the run time, which is how a christmas special should be

7. The Girl Who Died (9x5) - i like this one!! 12 acting like he's a norse god and then the guy appearing in the sky and 12 tries to impress everyone with a yoyo was absolutely hilarious to me, that's peak humour in my mind. me was a bit annoying in this one can't lie like this is my least favourite me appearance, because HOW was she so stupid like girl i know those random guys you live with would've started fighting without a second thought but you're so much cleverer than them come on, but whatever, i forgive her i did care about her in the end. i loved the 12th doctor realising why he chose the face like YASSS GIRL!!!! and them making the video was so funny and random i ADORE 12 and clara in this, and i love the theme of immortality it's very interesting and i love when it's explored in doctor who

8. The Zygon Invasion/The Zygon Inversion (9x7/9x8) - i think it's. good. i love clara controlling the zygon it was sooo interesting and the sort of space she's in felt so weird and interesting i loved it, and obviously the doctor's speech is fantastic and peter capaldi delivers it perfectly. however, i do think it's not that well paced or something, like sometimes it feels really slow and sometimes everything is happening at once, and basically reasons to watch it would be 12's speech and jenna coleman. i did like osgood as well tho and obviously i'm the biggest kate lethbridge-stewart stan i take anything with her even if she's in it for 2 seconds

9. The Magician's Apprentice/The Witch's Familiar (9x1/9x2) - i LOVE the doctor and davros' interactions and missy and clara are brilliant together. i love missy. the opening is brilliantly funny, i adore 12 SO MUCH, i love that he plays his guitar god knows in what century and teached the people the word "dude" i LOVE that, and how he just appeared in his davros chair and had tea what an icon i'm his biggest fan, i don't care if it makes no sense i'm here for the entertainment and that's what i got. but like i mentioned in the last series ranking... steven moffat does NOT understand the daleks. i respect him a lot as a writer, but he can't for the life of him write the daleks. "Into the Dalek" i can excuse because it's fun enough and the radiation is probably affecting the creature's biology, but this episode acting like the cases or armour or whatever are the ones controlling how the daleks act is just bullshit, the daleks are a genetically engineered race full of hate, not just some random squid aliens inside propaganda cases for god's sake. funny how the daleks of this dalek episode are the worst thing in it

10. The Woman Who Lived (9x6) - i enjoy this episode, i don't think it's bad, but it's not good enough to deserve to be higher on this list. me is an interesting enough character and i like that she doesn't remember everything, it's really fascinating. i also like how she's pretty much morally grey, a bit like the doctor. yeah, it's enjoyable but nothing special imo, and sometimes i just. didn't get the plot, which i understand and can excuse because it focuses on me and the doctor but i dislike the plot and the lion alien

11. Sleep No More (9x9) - it is a bit boring isn't it? i don't actively hate it, and i really appreciate the way it's filmed, i think it's really cool. i LOVE that we're kinda the monsters there and that it's a sort of video, but it doesn't save it from the fact that it's utterly tedious

[a-supersonic-whistle]

anyway the sun and the star came out and i have. thoughts. good and bad. will contain tsats spoilers!!!

i LOVED the canon queer characters, esp the minor campers mentioned (paolo, malcom, jake). not 100% sure on why it was such a big deal/why nico was such an inspiration considering how gay greek mythology is in the first place but appreciated it anyways

they mentioned octavian! wish he was talked about more (esp in the trials of apollo) but i'll make do with the crumbs i have

so wished they delved into will's guilt/healer complex a lot more. it was obvs more of nico's POV but i wish we got some more deep thoughts from will too

SO MUCH UNTAPPED POTENTIAL FOR DIONYSUS. I WILL MAKE A WHOLE POST ABOUT THIS I SWEAR.

no idea what happened to apollo's character arc? where was he? what was the whole point of TOA if he didn't ever show up for will or nico???

on that note, there was not enough mention of nico's friends (hazel, frank, reyna, CONNOR)

i lowkey vibed with the whole "will not understanding the darkness and the underworld" thing BUT it did get a biiiit on the nose sometimes. which i understand considering i'm reading a kids book. but still.

WILL PLAGUE POWERS. not much more to say

i loved all of will's freaking out moments (ie him realizing tartarus was alive). could have done with a lot more.

will wearing cargo shorts in tartarus healed my soul

i? wanted? more? out? of? nyx's? kids? these gods/demons could have been so powerful, so much more center stage and relevant. i can make a whole post about this too.

tbh i wanted more of the gods in general

i'm obsessed. OBSESSED. with the cocoa puffs. also the whole idea of nico literally letting go of his demons makes me so happy

i wanted more michael and lee angst! where was it!

the story of nico first realizing will liked him was so cute

ALSO ALSO the fact that he was hanging with connor during that time was amazing, esp since connor was one of the first ones to ever meet him waaaayyyyy back in the titan's curse. love that they're still besties (hope that nico can now defeat him in poker)

but i did want more cecil and lou ellen :( or more of will's personal life in general

like delving into his (once-mentioned) loneliness, life on tour, being a year rounder...

stiiiillllll iffy on the context of their first kiss being... nico's grief over jason dying

on the topic of jason. i wish we interacted with him! maybe a ghost or even a dream

love that nico called piper at the end, but i wish we got a leo call too ngl

liked the concept of the whole maria/bianca thing (even though I don't get how she's in elysium if she chose rebirth??)

NICO HAVING A CRUSH ON ARES

WILL HAVING A CRUSH ON HERMES

the book didn't fall into the miscommunication trope. i loved that.

buuuuttttt they worked through their problems just a smidge too fast for me, especially for traumatized teens in their first relationships in a place that brings out their worst thoughts

the first date story was so cute i think it broke me

anyway that's all for now it's 1 am and i finished the book like 10 hours ago give it time to marinate in my mind :)

[dangerously-human]

18, 24 for the end of year asks

A memorable meal this year?

My Bible study group does Friendsgiving every year and it's always a favorite tradition. We did Mexican food this year, and our group has shrunk plus people were sick so it was only a couple of us, but it was still a really good time, gathered together and laughing and talking about our values as people and just (I say this a lot but I always mean it) doing life together.

Did you keep any New Year’s Resolutions?

I'm actually really glad this question was asked, because I didn't really remember setting any resolutions, but I did! New Year's Day was on a Sunday this year, so I started out the year with communal worship (something I wish happened every year, tbh), and looked at my intentions for the year more from a lens of prayer than traditional resolution. My pastor challenged us to leave something at the cross as we went out into the new year, trusting God with it, and what I wrote was "replace my selfish use of time with radical hospitality and vulnerability" and "replace my social anxiety with courage and faith." While I certainly was not perfect at either, those were two big things I made progress with this year. I chose to prioritize serving families through the crisis care ministry, as well as children's ministry and other needs at church, over my free time, at several points far beyond what I could handle on my own, for God's glory. (This is a fine line to walk for many of us, and there's more to the story here, but that's the short version.) I also made it a point not to live ruled by anxiety this year in my relationships - and this is certainly an area for continued improvement, but I did witness unprecedented growth in myself and my relationships, so I count that as a win too, all glory to God.

[ryttu3k]

A selection of moments from my last session/s of Tavias' run. All spoilery for endgame. Image-heavy, used all 30 image slots.

"When I said I wanted to get more in touch with my draconic ancestry, this was not what I had in mind."

This is an interesting example because Tavias was in this situation. Two days ago. And his exact response was, "Actually, I would rather die than become a monster under a more powerful being's thrall."

Not capped: *gross sobbing over Dear Ansur*

Not capped: Just for the record, the line that officially pushed Astarion from approval 99 to approval 100 was:

Halsin: "Perhaps you'd care for a little extra company..."

Tavias: "The more the merrier!"

Astarion: *approves*

(I hc he's quietly nursing a raging crush on Halsin and the V relationship absolutely has the potential to turn into a full triangle, and not just because I'm hopeless for Halstarion.)

I really wish you could talk to Astarion about this later. I'm very glad you can talk to Halsin, but this should be addressed too! I'm glad he feels confident and safe enough to push his own boundaries, I just really wish we could like... check in on him and make sure he's doing okay. See also: helping Halsin recognise that what happened to him was trauma.

Seven years too late (he was seventeen years old, Ulder), but finally some parental approval!

<3

Not capped: the forehead touch after the kiss with Halsin is. Goddamn adorable ;_;

Genuinely motivational tbh

This is what we call an, "Ah fuck" moment.

Okay so. Orin basically saved the world.

Like obviously the Brain breaking free from the influence of the crown is a bad thing. But consider the alternative - a Brain who willingly follows the Dark Urge. A Brain who doesn't rebel, that rebellion leading to its ultimate downfall. A Brain who does follow the Dark Urge is a Brain in a world where Bhaal wins.

But Orin was jealous. Orin wanted her father's love. Orin attacks her sibling, and that sibling wakes up and goes, actually, you know what? I don't think I do want to be Bhaal's puppet for the rest of my existence, and the world is saved.

Dude there are plenty of other options that don't involve that. What is wrong with you.

Not capped: Beorn Wunterbrood being like, "Balduran's grace be with you" and Tavias just going, "......yeahhhhh haha about that, there's a non-zero chance we're gonna have to kill Balduran. Just. Just so you know."

You got it, boss. #ResistDurgeIsChosenOfJergalTruther

Not capped: "I always dreamed of walking these halls, you know. My dreams never included a giant brain or smoldering ruins, but I'll take what I can get~" I <3 him what a goddamn dork.

Not capped: you know this is the part where I'd have to be like. Yeah you guys go ahead. Yeah I'm gonna sit this one out. Why? Well, do I look like I can climb the giant squishy completely vertical tube while it actively tries to fly? No no if someone can teleport me up I can fight but otherwise I may have to sit this one out.

For the first time... quiet at last.

Oh this shit hurts ;_;

He chose against apotheosis this time <3 I can only surmise that what happened in Tae's run was that saying, no, fuck Mystra, you don't owe her anything, made him decide to act against her? This is still... not necessarily a great ending for Gale, because it still requires capitulating to the desires of his abuser, even if it does mean being free of the Orb (and not becoming Cringegod(tm). It's the best possible ending for him, yes, but I wish there was an option for him to acknowledge that what Mystra did to him was awful and he didn't deserve to be treated like that, and be able to reject the Crown.

Not capped: still! goddamn! hate! how Astarion running from the sun is almost played for laughs! I got Gale's line in this one and hearing how dismissive and flippant it is compared to what'll be the new line, where he sounds genuinely horrified and worried and openly states they'll need to be a good friend to him and offer him comfort, is... god. Dramatic difference. "Welp, that's the last we'll see of him!" that original line is so wrong ;_;

Glad she was able to make the decision herself. Forcing her just feels wrong.

I like this <3 Halsin still carries out his dream, but the relationship doesn't end, it's just. Long-distance, haha.

It's interesting how this plays out if you do Halsin poly, because it has the scene of Halsin waking up next to the PC, they talk about where things go, they walk off hand in hand... then it has the scene of Astarion waking up next to the PC, they talk about... etc XD I'd love if they included a poly option with all three of them, so you can get just the Halsin one, or just the Astarion one, or one where you talk to both at the same time. IIRC the only relationships where you can do Halsin poly is with Astarion or Shadowheart, so that's only two extra scenes they'd have to work out! It just feels a bit awkward as it is, with both scenes playing one after the other?

Anyway. The Astarion scene <3 This is the bit where I got all misty-eyed because. The reflection of, "What do you want?" "You. I want... you", and the beautiful Durge-specific line of being able to choose family... ;_;

They absolutely get together while in Avernus <3

Final decisions: Orpheus requests a merciful death, which Tavias provides. Lae'zel chooses to go to war. Gale returns the crown to Mystra. Wyll offers to accompany Karlach to Avernus, and she chooses to accept. Halsin goes to start a new community for those in need, with his relationship with Tavias continuing. Tavias and Astarion stay together and look for a way for Astarion to walk in the sun again.

There will be a separate post just for the epilogue, once I sort the, uh, 723 screencaps I took for it!

[outrunningthedark]

You know I have accepted the idea of buddie never becoming canon (even if I still think is stupid), but we have so many great ideas/ head canon that probably actually seeing them becoming canon would’ve been a letdown. But I still had the conviction we’d see a lot of buddie scenes. The erasure of this relationship that was so precious not just for us, but for the GA too left me a little meh. I mean after 5 years is impossible to make people stop shipping them, so I can’t see the sense

This is how I look at Buddie becoming canon as well.

Fandom has such elaborate ideas for how Buddie should happen, what should happen if they did, and…odds are the stuff we see on screen isn’t anything close.

1. We have no clue how long 9-1-1 would take to get them together. The possibility of multiple seasons of canon is wishful thinking when the actors could leave if the timing of contract renewals lines up perfectly. Or (the option I always throw out) the show waits until sometime in the final season because there’s nothing to lose.

2. For as much as people in Buddie fandom will give Tarlos crap…they write ‘em like they’re Tarlos sometimes.

There is no guarantee Buddie would ever kiss on screen, never mind have an (implied) intimate love scene. Considering how the other main couples have had their physical intimacy reduced through the seasons (yes, Henren got the sex scene in 6x06, but it was a flashback), the show has an “excuse” to let Buddie follow the same example.

3. As we’re realizing (through comparisons with our friends), OG does not get as much fan input as LS. OG does something, and then the reaction to it can/will influence LS’s future plans.

How we see Buddie, and how they see Buddie? Don’t add up. Especially when one of the showrunners has even the most “positive” fans questioning her intentions. (TBH, I think her answers gave people pause off blog, but they chose to give her the benefit of the doubt. Now we’re seeing their private thoughts go public because s6 has not been AT ALL what they expected.)

As for the possibility that the show wants people to “stop shipping them”, they know that won’t happen. Tim is a proponent of fanfic, so I’m sure they’re fine with shipping staying in fandom spaces.

But what creating physical and emotional distance (over a long period of time) would do is (hopefully) help the fans come to terms with it not happening so they don’t feel like they were strung along right to the end.

It’s a good strategy, tbh. Can’t say you’re being queerbaited if the show isn’t giving you anything to complain about later.

The timing, though?

Too little, too late.