#tbh i wasn't expecting anyone to read or like it but like people Did and some other people with ts told me some of their stories

[that-was-anticlimactic]

besties just out of curiosity, what's like... your favorite fic you've ever written? or favorite art you've ever created?

[nostalgicmiscellaneous]

This is long, but i need to get this out of my chest:

I have made so many post defending Penelope when people talked about her issues, her traumas but right now i feel like defending Colin.

As a woman, sometimes i naturally tend to feel defensive and shield the girl but i need to be fair here. Colin's feelings and trust were deeply hurt, Colin is insecure, soft, thoughtful, introspective, sensitive and suffers with a inferiority complex, and he struggles to know his place in society and among the people he loves, on what he should do and the expectations of society from a 22 years old man.

What many don't seem to realize is that Colin, even before knowing Penelope is LW, was very insecure about what she loves in him ( and even if she did in fact love him, because she was about to marry someone else), about being worth of her, he says he wants to do something, to publish his diaries because he wants her to be proud of him…he already didn't think he was good enough for and to her. Colin is insecure about not being good enough in every aspect of his life, tbh. His lack of purpose, faith in himself and on others loving him from whom he is runs deep. His moment of vulnerability telling how much Penelope not answering to his letters affected him, his family too was very revealing. Him screaming at Pen with tears in his eyes that he felt foolish that she read his diaries and praised him as something special. This is something i've noticed even in other seasons too. The family not caring much about his need to connect and his somewhat strained relationship with Anthony, who wasn't really a good male figure to him. It's about male ego? A bit, but it's deeper than that in the series.

Another issue is, he put Pen in a pedestal too ( much like Pen did until 2x8), to be honest, and that is never a good thing, because people are not perfect. And he needed to learn all that. There is disappointment there. But, again, it goes further. It’s him not knowing her as he thinks he should. It’s him perceiving her humanity but reflecting on his own. We have to remember he's so happy because Pen chose him, because he thinks now he's someone's priority and he's someone's focus. He has the immature idea that you should be everything in every way to the person you love, and if you can't be their protector and the hero in their eyes, why should anyone love you?

Then he finds out…and his worldview crumbles. Not only Penelope broke his trust and hurt him deeply - and she never told him and never would have - and it wasn't just himself but his family too, but she shattered his belief he knew and connected with her better than almost anyone else, she shattered his barely there newly found confidence and sense of purpose, what he thought was his sense of self now. All modern sensibilities tend to be ruffled about this, but i think it's a fitting conflict that he would have issues with her being so self-sufficient, so successful while he believes himself to be less, way less than her, so to Colin she doesn't need him, and if she doesn't need him, why would she love him? Why should she love him?

Again, there is the side of him conflicted about knowing her. The pedestal was broken, because she lied to him. She is this powerful, talented, successful woman on her own, not just the pretty shy girl with sweetness and great witty personality that he loves, the one that thinks the world of him. She talked about him, she criticized him and while it rings true deep down, it rings devastation, because she could see beyond his farce and it makes him look and feel pathetic.

So he's struggling with two things: on how to love her, all of her, and how to feel good enough for her, love himself. He's trying to accept her new wonderful aspects and her hurtful flaws because he never stopped loving her, in no moment we see anything but love when that man looks at her, when that man is crying because of her and his deep sadness and longing, his anger is laced with so much love for her. He's angry at her but mostly at himself and he needs to figure it out a way to feel like he deserves to be loved by her. It fuels his issues and he also over compensates.

His hang ups with LW becomes his tangible target. Not only he sees as a dangerous thing to her, it puts her at risk, and with that in mind he can put himself in a role of her protector again, but he fixates on the idea that without Whistledown she's the Pen that he can believe is able to love him even if he's not good enough. Without Whistledown she's not so much above him and not so far from him, because Whistledown is her critical eye, it's Penelope appraising people very analytically and if she looks closely, he doesn't think she will see much in him, as she proved before with he S3 ep1 comment. He wants to get rid of it.

Sure, he's jealous too, he envies her success but exactly because he resents how much that makes him less worthy. It's also another thing that he thinks she's putting above him. He couldn't see clearly that it wasn't something outside herself (and he gets it after), but part of who she is, and all of those parts loves him. It's foolish and it's nonsensical because he doesn't understand that she has seen his flaws but she loves him anyway. He needed reassurance just as much as Pen needed. He needed her to keep on telling she loved him and why, because it heals him.

Some people were upset he didn't make love to her that day he went to get a blanket, but i get it. He wants it, he wants her so badly, you can see it. Colin has problems communicating and doing what he wants because he feels pathetic, jealous and that makes him feel worse, makes him feel shame. It’s him, not her that was the issue at that point. His connection with her runs deeper, it's respecting her and himself, with all the conflicted feelings why he didn’t.

It’s a slow process and i’m bloody glad it took its time to be resolved. But he starts understanding that his way wont help them, it wont bring them closer. He wont solve things by controlling and being the hero. He can’t change the past, he can’t change who they are. He wont solve anything by repressing his love.

Pen words help him figuring out a lot, her spoken words directed to him and her written words that he reads again. She needs him. She tells him she needs him and his love, not grand actions. He can show love and be worthy by supporting her. He starts to understand and ACCEPT that Whistledown is Pen, and loving Pen will include that part of her personality. He grasps that it was always there and it never made a difference in how much she loved being around him and him her, how much attention she dedicated to him, how much her words, in her letters, were full of admiration for him, to her love to him, how much she is his special person. She needs him just as much he needs her, she needs his love, his charm, his intelligence, his humor, his integrity, she needs him because without him she doesn’t feel complete, she doesn’t feel happy. He’s a good man, a fine man that makes her happy, always have. And he realizes she inspires him, she always had, and that isn't a problem, that having her helping him is not a problem, because he helps her too in many ways. It’s only when he can accept himself as equal and entitled to her love as she is to his that they could truly be together and happy.

Colin had the right to feel hurt, had the right to have his insecurities, had the right to need time and had the right to need space, had the right to lash out, had the right to come to term with the changes and surprises life threw at him, specially as a sensitive person that he very much is, and i'm glad the show didn't rush that.

[enhasrii]

CRUSH • LEE HEESEUNG

Pairing: lee heeseung x female reader

Synopsis: Admiring someone you love is like gazing at a masterpiece; every glance reveals new depths of beauty and wonder, leaving you in awe of the artistry that is their essence and that's exactly how you feel for lee heeseung.

Word count: 1210

Genre: school au, crush!heeseung, young people in love, crush au, fluff, romance.

Warnings: just reader(me) being simp for lee heeseung. kissing, not on lips though. Biker heeseung in the end. one curse word. haerin of newjeans, eunchae of le sserafim, garam former mem of le sserafim mentioned.

NOTE : first post on Tumblr:) kinda nervous if anyone would even read it tbh.

PLAY: daydreamin' by ariana grande

The sound of the school bell could be heard in the crowded hallway as students talked among themselves before hurrying to their classes upon hearing it. Before moving away from you and heading to her own classroom, the girl you were speaking with waved her hand. You waved back.

just as you turned around your face collide with something, or rather someone. You assumed that their chest was what you bumped into. (Fortunately, you did not stumble too much.)

"I'm so sorry. I wasn't—" your words got stuck in your throat as you faced the person.

Lee Heeseung

In all of his glory, Lee Heeseung was standing in front of you. the morning sun kissing his skin. his flawlessly natural disheveled hair resting slightly above his eyes on his forehead. His brown eyes are staring into yours. A smile that resembles a smirk forms on his gorgeous lips.

You stand there staring at each other for a few seconds or longer before you tell yourself to stop losing yourself in your crush's gaze.

Now that you were no longer lost in his eyes—

his oh so gorgeous eyes. the way they always have spark in them. his Bambi eyes. He's so beautifu—

wait- Y/n this isn't time to get lost in him. You remind yourself.

You averte your gaze from him. —now that you weren't lost in his eyes, you suddenly feel nervous. There was not a perticular reason as to why you feel nervous around him.

His presence was enough to make you nervous.

Everyone feels nervous around their crushes, right?

Before you get the chance to speak Heeseung beat you to it "careful, princess" he's heavenly voice call out. the endearment name causing the butterflies in your stomach to go wild. you look at him one last time before nodding and sprinting towards your classroom.

you were the last person to arrive at class, as you expect. You sat besides your best friend, haerin. The aforementioned girl did not even raise her head from her notebook. You give her a glance before giving her a shoulder tap. She observes you. As a silent greeting, you smile and wave your hand. She gives you a quick smile of her own before returning to her studies.

You are accustomed to it because that was typical Haerin behavior.

The professor soon arrived and began the lesson, which you could not understand, but it was okay because you had Haerin, so she would explain things to you later.

She breaks down these tedious lessons into understandable chunks so you can ace every test and pass with a "A."

You yawn with sheer boredom.

Lee Heeseung is someone you wish you could take a class with so you could just admire and gaze at his beautiful form. However, your bad luck because he was a year ahead of you.

When recess time rolled around, you found yourself in the school cafeteria with Haerin and your other female friends, Garam and Eunchae. These two were in the middle of an argument when Garam asserted that she was older than artificial intelligence, or rather, AI, and Eunchae was trying to convince her that AI had existed long before she was born. (You and haerin can end the their banter by saying eunchae is right but chose not to. this was funny to you)

Your gaze stray before settling on Lee Heeseung, who is seated a few tables away from you with his friends.

God, even just sitting there, he looks so ethereal. He was laughing over something his friend had said. He has such a lovely smile. the way his eyes crinkle. Ah he would be the death of me—

It was not until Lee Heeseung made eye contact with you that you realised you were staring. His brow lifts, and a small smirk forms on his lips. you were unable to resist your eyes automatically locking onto his lips. Your eyes dart back to his, which were now glimmering with playful teasing. Your heart pounding in your chest, almost like it wants to burst. You avert your gaze from him.

Lee heeseung is so fucking perfect for his own good.

Everyone says that once you leave school And graduate, you'll miss your high school life but you don't think so. School is boring. Like what do you mean you have to get up early in the morning just for boring lessons and tests?

If it were not for Lee Heeseung, you would not even bother to come to school.

(Just kidding. You are concerned about education and attendance.)

The primary reason, though, would be Lee Heeseung.

Just like that the last ringing of the day could be heard indicating that you can leave school now. Hufff finally.

You bid your friends goodbye as they did the same. You proceed toward the exit gate.

You ventured outside and followed a similar path until you saw a familiar figure leaning on a bike. awaiting your arrival.

Lee Heeseung.

He said, "Hey princess," holding out his hand for you to take, and you did once you were close enough.

Your brown iris shyly peering into his dark, beautiful one. Your mouth quivering into a tiny, uncontrollable smile. You say "hii" in return.

Your hands, which you were unaware were on his chest, slide up towards his neck as his one arm slides down to your slender waist. With his hand around your waist, he pulled you into his eagerly anticipated, firm yet cozy embrace.

Breathing in your cent that drives him crazy, he closed his eyes. His hand caressing the back of your head, mindlessly stocking your silky hair. He can feel his heart thumping in sync with yours as if they've realize they were closer to the one they desire. His lips gently brushing the top of your head, planting a kiss.

Your insides flutter at what he did. You feel yourself falling for your lee heeseung a little bit more.

you slightly looks up at him. Your eyes meeting his for mere few seconds as you cannot, for your life, hold his gaze. You get on your toes to shyly press kiss to the area of his jaw you could reach with your short height.

He encircles you with slightly tighter arms.

You both stay like that for few more moments, not wanting to pull away just yet, before pulling away from the embrace. His hands finding yours.

Saying "common baby," he assisted you in donning the helmet before he pulled you toward his bike.

You firmly wrapped your arms around his waist from behind once you had both get comfortable on his bike. As he starts the bike, you feel the warm wind against you.

You rest your head on his back, closing your eyes.

You feel heated by the heat emanating from his body, so even though the winds are getting colder over time, it does not affect you.

Gosh You love and adore times like this one with him, or you simply adoree him so much that you value and cherish and love every moment you spend with him.

You just love Lee heeseung so much.

© enhasrii, 2024, Do not repost or copy in any way.

NOTES, COMMENTS AND REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED.

[luizd3ad]

You'll Be Fine | Poly!Moonwater x Reader

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ࣪˖⤷ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ ࣪ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ˖ ⤷

Pairing: Regulus Black x GN!Reader x Remus Lupin WC: 430 CW: Slight talks of anxiety, talks of a bad day (not really tbh), no use of Y/N, kinda a comfort fic ig? Author's Note: Idk man this is my first time writing Moonwater so hopefully it’s good. Summary: Remus comes home to you napping on Regulus.

does anyone even like these? why do I keep making theses collage thing?

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

When Remus gets home from work he doesn't expect much. Usually you and Regulus would be home before him. Both of you would usually be reading books or talking just typical things that people do when they get home to unwind a bit. 

What he hadn't expected was to come home to what seemed to be an empty and quiet home.

To say he was confused when he walked into their flat would be an understatement, normally there would be some evidence that his partners were home. But there wasn't.  

He started looking around the flat in search of you or Regulus, but he couldn't find either of you. His anxiety started to get the best of him, what if something happened, were you two okay? He felt his mind start to go a mile a minute.

Eventually he made his way to the shared bedroom and he felt his anxiety die down significantly at the sight of you sleeping on Regulus' chest while his hand ran up and down your back with a book in the other hand.

It wasn't necessarily uncommon for Remus to come home to one or both of you to be napping but it was so rare that he didnt think about it.

Regulus looked up, putting his book on his side and then pressing his finger to his lips telling Remus to speak quietly to avoid waking you up. Only then did Remus notice your tear stained cheeks, Remus brows furrowed and he shot Regulus a look that asked ‘what the hell happened?’ Regulus just sighed and spoke quietly.

“They had a bad day, nothing too terrible but it was just one of those days.”

Remus just nods and he crawls into bed next to you so that you're in between both men. He turned so that he could look at you and Regulus better, putting his hand on your hip, rubbing his thumb gently over it. 

“Everythings okay though, yeah?” Remus wisped to regulus, a look of worry still on his face. 

“All things considered, yes.'' Regulus sighs looking away from Remus for a moment but Regulus never stopped rubbing your back, he wanted you to know even in your sleep he was there for you. “They'll be fine, mon cœur. They have us and we will always be there to make sure that everything is fine.” Regulus said, looking back at Remus, who just nodded. 

Remus knew as long as you had each other in your lives that you, Regulus and him would be okay. Sometimes that's all anyone could hope for.

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

[felixsramen]

Three of a kind

Pairing: Minsung x Chan x Reader

Summary: After getting tipsy with your boyfriend and his friends, you and Jisung have a moment but Chan and Minho catch you, you can't help but realize you may have gotten something you wanted all along.

Warnings: MxM, FxM, Jisung is a sub, Reader is a switch, Chan is a Dom, Minho is a switch. Degradation, Praising, Oral sex giving and receiving, fingering, pet names, anal because mxm,

Note: Honestly I did not expect it to be this long. It got out of hand tbh. Anyways I hope you enjoy it. I know I took forever to get this out but have been up all day finishing it.

Another day, another party. Parties were never your thing, much less people. A party full of people that you don't know made you extremely anxious. Being here wasn't high on your list of things you'd want to be doing, yet when you feel the hand on your lower back, you can't help but take a deep breath. Your boyfriend looks at you, giving you a smile, trying to help calm your nerves. The party was hosted by your boyfriend's business.

"Are you okay, sweetheart?" Chan asks, feeling you tense even under his touch. You nod to him, and he holds a pout on his face. "Please don't lie, love. I can tell when you lie," Chan tells you, and you let out a sigh.

"Do you want to go home yet?" Chan whispers softly to you. You feel guilty for him even asking you. You nod your head, and Chan nods. "We won't stay much longer," Chan says, kissing your head and moving his hand from your waist. Instead, his hand opens for you to take, and you smile at him.

A beep comes from Chan's back pocket, and he digs his hand into his back pocket. He reads the text, smiling. Chan puts the phone away once again after sending a text back. "Min and Ji are here. Do you want to talk to them for a bit?" Chan smiles at you, and you smile back at him.

"Yeah," you say softly, and he takes your hand in his, never dropping his smile. Minho and Jisung were your friends that you had met through your boyfriend. They pretty much know as much about you as your boyfriend does. They were both single, surprisingly, and you couldn't help but wonder why. There was no way it was their looks. They looked as if they were handcrafted by the gods. They had great personalities. You just didn't see anything wrong with them.

You go through the crowd of people, following your boyfriend's lead. Finally, your eyes land on the pair who is talking amongst themselves. Chan smiles as they look in your direction. You sigh softly, at least the familiar faces help calm your nerves. Jisung's face lights up, while Minho gives you a nod while glancing over your body.

"You look like a goddess," Jisung says, leaning in and grabbing your hand to kiss. Jisung was always the flirty one out of the two of them.

"Ji, just remember she's my girlfriend, so don't go trying to sweep her off her feet," Chan says, staring at the brown-haired boy with a joking smile.

Jisung lets out a small laugh at his words. "That's my specialty, Chan," Jisung jokes to him. Chan wasn't the jealous type when it came to the two men standing in front of you. Anyone else, though, would've earned a glare.

"Hi, Ji," you say with a soft smile to the man who had kissed your hands seconds ago. You notice black eyeliner sitting on his face, perfectly framing his eyes, and, fuck, you'd be lying if you said he didn't look so hot right now.

Jisung and Chan immediately start talking, and your eyes travel to the man beside him. Minho looks out of place here. Minho had never been one to attend events like this, so you were sure he was just as anxious here as you were. You can't help but grab Minho's hand, and he sighs.

"You doing okay, Min?" you say softly, and he shrugs. "I have to be. Ji is here, and you know how he gets," Minho says, reminding you of Jisung's social anxiety. You nod silently at him.

"How long have you been here?" Minho asks quietly. "Not even an hour yet," you reply. Minho nods at your words.

"What about you, sweetheart? How are you holding up?" Minho asks, remembering your own social anxiety.

You shake your head, and you can see pity on Minho's face. "I'm sorry. I'm sure Chan isn't going to keep you here too long, knowing everything," he says. You nod, and Minho sighs.

"I'm guessing you won't be here much longer either," you say, and Minho nods at your words. "Ji might have a panic attack if we stay too much longer. I'm surprised he hasn't already asked me to take him back home yet."

"Can you tell from his body language that he doesn't want to be here?" You can't help but look at Jisung, who is in conversation with your boyfriend. Nothing about Jisung screams off, though.

Minho lets out a chuckle as you look back at him and shake your head. "That's okay. I can. If you look closely, he has tension in his shoulders, his eyes are a little wider than normal because he's alert, and his posture is closed off. It's normal for a person to not spot those things, but I've known Ji for so long that it's like reading a book you know."

You nod as you look at him, noticing each thing he had pointed out. Jisung's and Chan's eyes finally meet yours once again. "Why are you looking at me like that? Did Minho do that weird thing again where he reads me?" Jisung says, eyes looking to Minho, and Minho smirks.

"He did! Min, I told you to quit doing that!" Jisung says, scolding him, and Minho rolls his eyes. "Not my fault that you're so easy to read," Minho says, earning a playful glare from Jisung.

"I can't stand him sometimes, y/n," Jisung says, a smile on his face, rolling his eyes. Minho ignores him, instead having a conversation with Chan about work.

Jisung steps closer to you and smiles. "I missed you." Glasses sit on the top of his nose, almost falling off, and you can't help but giggle at that. You bring a hand up, pushing them back on his face. "I missed you too, Ji," you say, and he opens his arms for you. You can't help but wrap your arms around him.

"How have you been, princess?" Jisung asks softly. "I've been okay, Ji. What about you?" you say, and he smiles at you.

"I'm great," Jisung says, trying to assure you. You can't help but notice the rings on his fingers. "Those are new, aren't they?" You ask him, and he looks away from you, a blush forming on his face. "Yeah, Minho bought them for me. We're kind of a thing now." Your eyes widen at his words.

"I don't see you for 2 weeks, and you and Minho are a thing now. You and Mr. OCD himself?" You say, shock evident on your face. Jisung laughs but nods. "I know. It's a long story. I'll tell you some other day when we have time." A hand wraps around your waist. "Or how about tonight? We have nothing to do tonight. You both are more than welcome over," Chan says, and Minho looks to Jisung, who smiles and nods.

"Yeah, we can. We don't have anything to do," Minho says, besides Jisung. "Good. I need quality time with my y/n." Grabbing your hand, Jisung smiles. "We were just about to leave. You guys okay with that?" Jisung and Minho nod. Jisung holds your hand all the way to Chan's car before being pulled to Minho's.

You sit on your couch, wine glass in hand, heels discarded by the front door. Minho and Chan have disappeared into the kitchen, leaving you and Jisung alone. "So, how did you and Minho end up together?" you ask, and Jisung giggles, probably already tipsy, as he had already drunk the wine from his glass. Jisung was always a lightweight. According to Chan, you were just like him, a lightweight.

"So, we actually got together a week ago. The first week we didn't see you, we ended up getting into an argument because I was avoiding him. I confessed to him in the heat of the argument. Then he kissed me and yeah. I knew I liked him about a month ago though," Jisung says, and you set your wine glass down. "And you didn't tell me?"

Jisung sighs. "I wasn't sure how to tell anyone, really. You know?" You take Jisung's hands into yours, and he sighs. "I understand, Ji. I'm so proud of you, though."

"Proud?" Jisung says back, and you nod. "You confessed to him. I don't think I could be that brave, you know."

Jisung smiles at you. "Do you trust me?" You tilt your head in confusion. "Of course I do, Ji."

"Good," Jisung says softly. Before you realize it, a hand meets your thigh, and Jisung plants a kiss on your lips. He pulls away and smiles. "I've wanted to do that for a while."

Jisung's glasses sit on the edge of his nose again. You look at him in shock. Jisung's smile drops, and he becomes worried, clearly sobering up some at his actions. "Shit. I shouldn't have done that." Jisung continues to ramble on, and you sigh.

You bring a hand to his face, pushing his glasses back up. You continue to look into his eyes. Your lips meet his again, and you can't help but wonder if it's the alcohol you had. The kiss starts off innocent until Jisung kisses you harder.

This time, it's Minho's words breaking you apart. "What did I tell you, Chan?" Minho says, and your eyes fall on your boyfriend, expecting to see hatred, sadness, disappointment, or even all three. Instead, a smirk appears on his face.

"A little alcohol and they're all over each other. I guess you were right, Min." Chan and Minho make their way to the couch, except Minho sits beside you and Chan sits beside Jisung.

"Kissing my girlfriend?" Jisung bites his lip at Chan's words, looking down. Chan picks up Jisung's chin to look at him. Chan smirks when Jisung's eyes meet his. "Pretty boy. You could've just asked, and I would've let you," Jisung's eyes widen in surprise. "Where's the guy who just kissed my girlfriend seconds ago? What about me? Don't I deserve a kiss, Ji?" Chan says, faking a pout.

Jisung nods, and Chan's fake pout drops. "Good boy," Chan says softly, and Jisung kisses him. You can't help but watch, mesmerized.

You're eventually pulled out of your trance when Minho brings a hand to your face to look at him. He gives you a fake pout. "Too mesmerized by our boyfriends kissing? Forgot I exist?" Minho asks, and you shake your head. "Couldn't ever forget you exist, Min," you say absentmindedly as Minho lets out a chuckle.

"You're so cute. I don't know how Chan doesn't bend you over the couch and fuck you every time you open that mouth of yours. I guess I'll just have to shut you up with my mouth tonight," Minho clicks his tongue and immediately goes in for a kiss.

The kiss is heated and filled with need. You can't help but want more of him. You need more of them. Eventually, though, Minho pulls away and his eyes fall behind you. You look behind you and see Jisung, whose glasses are now on the coffee table. Your eyes fall on your boyfriend, though.

"Maybe if you guys weren't tipsy, we could all have some fun together," Chan tskts and Minho chuckles. "Maybe some other time then. It's getting rather late, isn't it, Chan?" Minho says, and Chan smirks. "It is, Min. I think you guys should get home soon," Jisung whines at your boyfriend's words. You can't help the small pout that comes to your face. "Careful, Ji, or I'll have to punish you when you get home," Minho says, and Jisung immediately shuts up. Minho grabs your chin to look at him. "This isn't over yet, sweetheart. It's just best if we do it all with sober minds," Minho says, making you feel slightly better. You nod softly, and Minho kisses your lips once more.

You look at Jisung, who looks more upset than you. You can't help but kiss the pout off his face, and he smiles softly. "So cute," you say, and he giggles.

"Let's get going, Ji," Minho says softly, and Jisung nods, grabbing his glasses off the table. "So unfair. Stupid wine," Jisung grumbles before being led out the door.

4 days. That's how long it takes for you to hear from Jisung and Minho. You couldn't help but wonder if Jisung was regretting his actions. How do you even face him ever again if he does?

"Sweetheart?" Chan says, leaning over the couch. His smile shows his dimples. However, his smile fades when he sees you pinching your skin and ignoring the TV.

Chan comes around the couch and sits in front of you. He takes your hands into his and sighs softly. "Baby, I told you how much I hate when you do that. I know it's an anxiety thing of yours. What's got you so anxious?" Chan asks softly, and you sigh.

"You're okay with everything that happened the other day?" you ask him, and he brings a hand to your face. "Of course I am. Are you okay with everything?" Chan asks, caressing your face. "Yeah. I liked it a lot."

Chan gives you a look, telling you to continue. "What about Minho and Jisung? Do you think they're okay with everything? What if Jisung regrets kissing me? What do I do if he does? How do we even face them?" Chan looks at you, quite surprised at the questions hurled his way.

"Okay, deep breaths first," Chan says, and you do exactly as he says. "Okay. First off, sweetheart, just because you haven't heard from them doesn't mean something's wrong. I'm sure they've just been busy. Second, if Jisung regrets kissing you, he'd be insane. Only a madman would regret kissing you. If Jisung truly thought he shouldn't have done that, don't you think he'd tell you? It's Jisung, after all," Chan says, and you can't help but let out a small giggle.

"If he does regret kissing you, we'll act as if nothing happened. As if we had gone our separate ways that night. We'll still hang out, maybe not as much, but they're our friends, aren't they? They won't just disappear completely out of our lives," Chan says, trying to gently reassure you. Chan's words settle, and you can't help but let out a breath you were holding.

"Thank you, Channie. I needed that," you say quietly, and he kisses your head. "You're my girlfriend, I'm supposed to do this. Don't thank me," Chan says back with a smile.

Suddenly, your phone rings, and Jisung's name lights it up. You pick up your phone, answering it. "Hi, Ji." You say softly into the phone.

"Princessss," Jisung says, holding the s out. "How are you feeling?" He asks quickly, calming down.

"I'm okay. What about you guys?" you say softly, and he sighs.

"We're okay. I miss you though. It got so busy afterwards. What are you doing tonight? You guys should come over. Minho will be a little bit late but not by too much," Jisung says happily.

You look at Chan. Chan just nods. "Yeah, we can make it tonight."

"I get to see you again and spend time with you. This time I'm not drinking any alcohol with you," Jisung says, making you giggle, and he whines.

"You're such a lightweight," you say, and he lets out a whine. "It's not because of that. I want to have sex with you and Chan. Minho told me we had to be sober though," Jisung says a little more quietly.

"You want to have sex with both of us?" you ask, slightly surprised. Jisung says nothing, and you think he's hung up. "Is it that surprising? I mean, look at you guys. I thought it was pretty clear after kissing you and your boyfriend. You do want to have sex with us, right?" Jisung asks, sounding unsure if you were regretting everything that happened.

"Of course I do. Are you sure?" you ask, still skeptical about everything. "Of course I am. I mean, you're both hot as fuck. Minho thinks the exact same thing. You want to know what Minho told me about Chan though?" You look at your boyfriend, and he can't help but be just as curious as you are.

"He told me he wanted to fuck Chan. Can't blame him though. Hell, I completely understand it, but I prefer for him to fuck my brains out," Jisung says, and you can't help but look at your boyfriend. Chan has a smirk on his face, and you look on curiously.

"Is that so, Ji?" Chan says, and you can hear a squeak over the phone. "Why didn't you tell me that you were on speaker? He heard everything I said?" Jisung says, and you can't help but laugh at that.

"Sorry. Yeah, he did," Chan laughs quietly, and you can't help but smile. "Let Min know that I'd love to fuck him instead," Chan says, closer to the phone now.

"Seriously? That would be a sight to see," Jisung says almost dreamily. Chan can't help but let out a laugh. "Yeah? I'd love to fuck you too," Chan says, and you hear another squeak leave Jisung before he hangs up the phone. You can't help but look at Chan and hit his shoulder playfully. "Seriously, you embarrassed him, Chan." Chan can't help but laugh at your pouty face. "It's not my fault he's so fuckable," Chan says, laughing, and you sigh, leaning your head on him.

Before you know it, you're knocking on the door. You can't help but wonder if Jisung is home, seeing that no car is outside. Yet it doesn't take long for the door to open. You're greeted with a bright smile on Jisung's face, his glasses almost falling off. Jisung immediately takes you in his arms.

"I missed you. Can I kiss you?" Jisung asks, yet immediately lets go of you. Chan has an amused smile on his face. "So direct. We just got here and your boyfriend isn't even here," Chan says, and Jisung backs away, giving you room.

"Sorry, I'm just excited," Jisung mumbles, and you can't help but giggle at his overexcitedness. You want to lean in and kiss the small pout he has on his face off, but you decide against it.

Jisung opens the door and invites you in. You make your way to the living room and sit on the couch with Chan beside you. Chan's hand meets your thigh, and you can't help but relax. Jisung sits beside you, and Chan shakes his head with a light chuckle. Jisung tilts his head at your boyfriend's chuckle.

"You're so desperate, Sungie. What makes you think I'm going to let you have her first?" Chan says, and Jisung lets out a small whine. "Get up and come here," Chan tells him.

Jisung doesn't hesitate to stand up and walk over to Chan. "On your knees," Jisung listens, and Chan lets out another chuckle. "So compliant, Sungie. I wonder what Minho would think?" Jisung lets out a small whine, and Chan caresses his face. "Min is so lucky, isn't he? A pretty little thing like you to fuck anytime he wants. I have my pretty little plaything already, but I can't help but wonder if you make pretty sounds just like her."

Jisung leans into his touch, and you think this might be the prettiest sight you've ever seen. "Min says I make the prettiest sounds," Jisung mumbles almost absentmindedly. Chan can't help but chuckle, and Jisung's face turns red, realizing what he's said.

"Don't be embarrassed. I'm sure you do. Just like my pretty girl right here," Chan says, and Jisung's eyes fall on you. "Could I hear?" Chan chuckles at his request but nods. "Of course you can," Chan says softly before moving his hand to your face and kissing you softly.

"My pretty girl has been so patient. She does deserve a reward after all," Chan says, his other hand going under your shirt. You can't help but let out a soft moan as his cold hands meet your body.

Chan's hand travels up your body, and he places his mouth on your neck, making you move your head so he can get better access. A louder moan comes out when he starts sucking on your neck. Your eyes meet Jisung's, and he quickly looks away and down at his hands.

"Channie?" you moan softly. He pulls away and smirks at you. "I'll play with you some more in a little bit," Chan whispers softly to you, pecking your lips, and his attention goes back to Jisung.

Jisung looks at his hands, and Chan sighs, lifting his chin to look at him in the eyes. "I thought you wanted a show, guess not. That's okay though," Chan says, and Jisung lets out his own sigh.

"I enjoyed it, I promise. Just a little too much," Jisung says quietly, and your eyes travel down to the boner that is poking through the sweatpants he has on. "Look at you, pretty boy. I'll help you with that, just hope Min won't be too upset about us starting without him." Chan leans down and kisses Jisung, who practically melts into the kiss.

"Well, look at this," you hear, and your eyes meet Minho's, who has his arms crossed, leaning against the door. Jisung quickly pulls away from Chan and looks at Minho.

"My good boy has his tongue down someone else's throat," Minho says, and that immediately has Jisung looking down at his hands again.

"This was your plan, Ji? Could've just told me you invited them over. I would've gotten off earlier," Minho says, approaching Jisung now.

"I'm sorry, Min. Wanted to surprise you," Jisung says softly. Minho picks his head up with a finger. "Don't apologize. I know you wanted this for a long time. Might as well let Channie have his way with you then," Minho says softly, and his eyes glance up to Chan. "Don't break him, Chan. I still want to be able to use him next time we have sex."

Chan chuckles softly. "I won't break him, Min, as long as you don't break my pretty girl."

Minho looks at you and then back at Chan, smirking. "I'll try not to," Minho says before making his way beside you. He sits next to you, and you can't help but stare at him for a second. He is wearing a suit with his sleeves rolled up. His hair is slightly messy, but it makes him look even hotter, if that's even possible.

"You're drooling, sweetheart," Minho says, chuckling, and you roll your eyes at him. "I was going to compliment you, but now I'm going to keep my mouth shut," you say, and he gently grabs your wrist.

You look at him, tilting your head, and he chuckles once again. "You're so cute, you know? Go ahead, tell me what you were thinking, sweetheart," Minho tells you softly. You let out a sigh, and Minho waits for you to tell him. "You look hot. I want you, Min," you say softly. Minho smirks and gets closer to you, close enough for him to kiss you but he doesn't.

"You don't know how long I've waited for you to say that," Minho says right at your lips. He glances into your eyes before looking back at your lips. You can't help yourself and lean in to kiss him. It takes Minho by surprise, but he quickly relaxes into it and takes control.

Minho's hands make their way towards you, and he brings you into his lap; he refuses to pull away from the kiss, though. You hear moans from behind you now and recognize them as your boyfriend's. Minho refuses to let you pull away, though, and look.

Minho's tongue parts past your lips, making you focus on him. He tries to explore every inch of your mouth, and you can't help but let him. You sigh softly, melting into his hold, and as soon as you do, Minho pulls away.

Minho smiles down at you. "Relax, sweetheart. I got you. You trust me, right?" Minho says softly, and you nod. "Good. I would never hurt you," Minho tells you. You nod softly. "I know." Minho can't help but give you another soft smile.

"Here, I'll give you a view of the show," Minho says, flipping you around on his lap. Your eyes meet Jisung's, who has your boyfriend's dick in his mouth. Chan's head is thrown back, letting out moan after moan, eyes closed. You feel Minho's hands make their way under your shirt. "It's such a pretty sight, isn't it? Ji taking your boyfriend in his mouth." Minho's hands travel to your bra and unclasp it. You let out a sigh, and your body falls into Minho's.

"Pretty girl," Minho mumbles into your ear, and you let out a moan as one hand starts to play with your boob. The other travels down to your pants. It doesn't take long for him to unbutton it, and his hand makes its way into your panties. You're wet already, and he seems to notice that by letting out a chuckle.

"Haven't done much, and you're soaked. I wonder how long you've been waiting for this?" Minho asks, but you don't reply, already lost in the pleasure as he pushes a finger inside.

"You're so pretty like this, you know," Minho tells you softly as he puts his head on your neck. Minho softly kisses your neck, and you can't help but let out an embarrassingly loud moan. Minho doesn't stop, instead he seems to be spurred on by your moan. His finger fucks into you faster, and you can't help but let out moan after moan.

Jisung's eyes can't help but watch as his boyfriend fingers you. Jisung couldn't help but want to know what you tasted like. He couldn't help but assume you'd taste sweet. A hand comes to his hair, though, pulling him out of his thoughts.

Chan pulls Jisung completely off, and you can tell how disappointed he was by the way he pouts. Chan runs a hand through Jisung's hair, trying to get it out of his face. Jisung whines and pouts. Chan frowns slightly at that but leans down and kisses his lips before whispering in his ear. Jisung's face immediately lights up, and his eyes look over at you.

Minho notices as Jisung crawls over to you and spreads your legs. Jisung smiles at you, and you'd think it was adorable if he didn't lick his lips and stare at you as if you were a meal. Jisung kisses the inside of your thigh as Minho moves his hands to your thighs, digging his nails into them, forcing you to open them so Jisung can have more room.

"You're so pretty," Jisung quietly tells you before kissing your clit. You let out a moan at the feeling. "Can I?" Jisung softly asks as if he was unsure you'd want it.

"Please, Ji," you weakly whisper, and that's all it takes for him. Jisung gets to fucking you with his tongue. It's messy and so good that you think you might start seeing stars.

"Ji," you plead with him, but he doesn't hear you, working you open with his tongue.

"G-gonna make me cum," Jisung seems to hear that because he speeds up. It doesn't take much longer for you to be thrown straight into your first orgasm of the night. Your eyes roll back, and you see stars.

When the stars subside, Jisung is still pumping his tongue in and out of you. Your hand goes to his hair, pulling him off. A soft whimper leaves his mouth, and you can't help but want to fuck more sounds like that out of him.

Jisung looks at Minho for a second behind you and glances over at Chan, who nods with a smirk on his face. Jisung's hands go to your hips, and you sigh softly. Minho helps him guide you into his lap on the ground. Jisung sits you on top of his boner, wanting you to feel him. Another small whimper comes out of his mouth, and you start softly grinding on him. More whimpers and pleas fall out of his mouth.

"Let me fuck you, please?" Jisung says, a whimper following that sentence. Jisung's hips start bucking up, meeting your grinding. A small moan leaves your lips, and you nod. You move off Jisung's lap, and he makes quick work of pulling his sweatpants and boxers down. You feel yourself practically salivate at his cock. How could a cock be pretty? You didn't know, but Jisung had a pretty cock. You didn't get to stare for much longer before he's whining.

"I want you, please, y/n?" Jisung whines, and you nod. Your hands go to his chest, pushing him to lay down on the ground, and his eyes go wide. "I want to ride you. That's okay, right?" You say softly, and he immediately nods, his tongue poking out quickly to lick his lips. You pull your pants and underwear off and line yourself up with him before sinking down slowly. Another moan comes out of you, and a moan comes out of Jisung at the same time.

"You're so pretty," Jisung mumbles softly, only for you to hear. You let out a shaky breath, and your hands come beside Jisung. His hands find yours, and he gently guides them to his chest to help you balance. You rise up and sink back down on him, letting out a moan. Jisung lets out a sound between a whimper and a moan.

Jisung's hands roam your body as you softly bounce on him, pulling moan after moan out of him. Your hands find his for a second as you stop riding him, and he whines. You have his hands travel to your boobs so he can occupy his hands. Jisung thinks he could cum right now if you told him to, but he doesn't say anything. Instead, he softly kneads your boobs as your hands go back to his chest.

"Look at this. You're going to make him cum without even riding him anymore. Poor Jisungie. Thought you wanted this?" Minho tsks after his own words, and Jisung thinks he's going to cry. Not just from Minho's harsh words but Minho's words and how tight you were around him.

"Wanted this. So much. Just. Tight. She's so tight. I think I'm going to explode, Min," Jisung says, struggling to get the words out with the fog that's in his brain.

You start bouncing on him once again, but this time, your mouth meets his, and you swallow the loud moans coming out of his mouth. Your own moans are swallowed by him as you make out with him. You can feel the knot in your stomach starting to rise and bounce slightly faster as your tongue goes inside his mouth.

Jisung's hands make their way down to your hips. He gently flips you over so now you're on your back and starts fucking into you harder and faster. More whimpers and silent pleas fall from his mouth. Jisung was desperate for his release at this point but he had to hold on until you came. Luckily it didn't take much longer and with a few more thrusts, you're cumming around him.

Your eyes roll back and you swear that you see stars before you're coming back down. You feel Jisung's head on your neck still whimpering your name, and you know you're overstimulated yet can't help but let him continue to fuck into you. You think you might pass out if he doesn't cum soon. "Let me cum, please. I can cum right? I've been so good," Jisung whines into your neck. "Go ahead, Sungie, cum. You've been so good. You can cum," you say, and that's all it takes for him to cum inside you. Jisung stays still whimpering into your neck and practically shaking.

Luckily, after about a minute, he seems to come down from his high. Jisung doesn't move his head from your neck, instead pressing a few lazy kisses against it. Your hand goes to his hair, and you softly run your fingers through his hair.

Your eyes meet Chan's, and you swear his eyes are filled with complete love. Minho looks at you both with complete adoration but then looks over at Chan, who hasn't stopped looking away. Minho's eyes are once again filled with lust.

Minho doesn't take long, though, and he quickly has Chan pinned to the couch. Chan's eyes are wide for a second, but then a smirk is on his face. "You're so cute sometimes, Min." Minho ignores his comment, rolling his hips on Chan, earning a groan.

"Bad kitty," Minho smirks at Chan's words and grinds down on Chan once again, earning a moan from the dark-haired guy under him. Chan glares at him, and it doesn't take Chan long to flip Minho over, now pinning him to the couch. "Such a bad kitty. Trying to take charge. You told Ji you wanted to fuck me? Pretty kitty. Ji told me how much he wanted to see me fuck you, though. Might as well give him what he wants, right?"

Chan holds Minho down on the couch with one hand and makes quick work of his clothes. Minho looks away, embarrassed when Chan starts staring at his cock. Chan's hand that isn't pinning Minho down goes to his face, making him look at him. "Pretty kitty with a pretty cock," Chan mumbles, and Minho seems to get even more embarrassed.

Chan's hand goes back to Minho's cock, giving it an experimental stroke. Minho lets out a whimper, and Chan can't help but smile. Chan starts slowly stroking Minho, earning more moans and whimpers. "Hear that, Ji? Pretty kitty is moaning," Chan says, and Minho lets out another whimper, falling apart because of Chan. Jisung and you can't help but watch, mesmerized by it.

"I can fuck you, right? Make my pretty kitty cum all over himself?" Chan asks Minho, who nods, clearly desperate. Chan luckily takes his nod as an answer and lets go of Minho's cock. Chan carefully flips Minho over.

"Ass up," Chan says, and Minho surprisingly listens. Chan thinks he might cum right then and there. Minho's back is arched deliciously, and Chan can't help but rub his back, sending chills down Minho's spine.

"Haven't ever been fucked before, kitty?" Chan asks, and Minho says nothing, burying his face in the couch, mumbling. "Speak up, kitty." Minho finally lifts his head. "No. Just fuck me already, Chan," Minho says, his voice angry, trying to cover his embarrassment. "Aww, poor kitty. So used to taking care of others. Going to let me take care of you?" Chan rubs circles onto Minho's hips.

"If you don't fuck me right now, Chan, I swear to go-" Minho is cut off by Chan, who pushes a finger inside of him. "So fucking needy and desperate. Got to prep you," Chan says, fucking Minho open slowly. Minho's head is thrown back, and his back arches even more. Moan after moan comes out of Minho, and Chan adds a second finger.

"Such a good kitty. Taking my fingers so I can prep you for my cock," Chan says, praising him as he continues working him open. You swear you could cum again at the sight alone, but you were already tired from the two orgasms you had previously. It doesn't take long before Chan is adding another finger, and you watch as Minho lets out more moans. "G-going to cum, Channie. Please let me cum," Minho pleads with Chan, but he pulls his fingers out of his ass.

"No, no, no. Channie. Why'd you do that? I was- I was so close," Minho pleads with him, and you swear you think he's going to cry. "Wanna watch you cum on my cock. Fall apart so beautifully," Chan wishes he had a condom right now, but he knew Minho would probably start crying soon if he didn't get his cock. Minho whines, feeling empty, and Chan swears he hears him sniffle.

"Don't cry, kitty. Going to fuck you dumb," Chan says softly and brings his hand to Minho's hips, guiding himself into Minho, earning more moans. Minho swears under his breath as Chan slides into him. Chan leans over Minho's body, bottoming out finally. Minho takes a deep breath.

"Tell me when you're ready for me to move," Chan plants a kiss on Minho's shoulder blade, and after a minute or two, he nods. Chan slowly pulls out and then pushes back into him. Minho's moans get louder and more high-pitched as Chan starts slowly fucking into him. Chan places another kiss on his shoulder blade, trying to calm Minho, who is almost shaking.

Minho's arms finally give out, forcing him to fall into the couch, muffling his moans. Chan wants to hear his moans, so he carefully pulls him up and decides to hold him up since he can't hold himself. Minho lets out whines, and Chan swears he's going to cum just listening to his moans.

Chan thrusts himself deeper into Minho, causing both of them to let out groans. Minho responds with a high-pitched whine, indicating that Chan has found his prostate. Eager to hear more of those sounds, Chan continues to pound into that spot. Sensing that Minho is close to climax, Chan pushes on.

In just three more thrusts, Minho climaxes all over the couch. Chan follows suit, still inside Minho. Fortunately, he regains his strength just in time, as he feels his arms about to give out, and he doesn't want to accidentally squish Minho against the couch. With the last of his energy, Chan manages to lift Minho and place him on his chest before his arms finally give out.

Deep breaths can be heard between them. Minho's head lays on Chan's chest, trying to still catch his breath from that earth-shattering orgasm. Chan rubs circles into Minho's back lazily as their breathing slows and their hearts feel like they're beating out of their chests. Eventually, they calm down, and Minho picks his head up. He expects anything but the expression on Chan's face.

Chan has a smile on his face. Minho frowns slightly. "Don't look at me like that," Minho says softly, and the smile doesn't leave Chan. "How am I looking at you, Min?" Chan says, as if he doesn't understand it, but you know he does. "Like how you were looking at them earlier. Like you're in love with me." Chan frowns now instead.

"Do you not want me to be?" Disappointment is dripping in his words. You swear you see your boyfriend's heart break. Minho looks at Jisung, who seems to be surprised, and you can tell sadness is in his eyes. "I thought you were in love with both of them too. It's okay if you aren't. I just thought that..." Jisung says sadly, trailing off.

Minho sighs softly. Minho looks at Chan once more. "I am. I'm head over heels for both of them. It scares me though." Minho looks down now at his hands that are shaking. Chan softly grabs Minho's hands, bringing them to his heart. "Don't be scared. I would never do anything to hurt you. I care about you both. Not just Jisung. Not just you. I care about both of you."

Minho doesn't meet his eyes yet. "It's not that. I'm not scared of you. I could never be scared of you," Minho says, and Chan softly grabs his chin, trying to get him to look at him.

"Could you tell me what you're scared of then?" Chan asks him, almost too softly. "There would be 4 of us if I do decide I want you all. What if I can't make time for all of you? What if someone gets jealous because I'm spending more time with someone else? What if we break up?" Chan's heart breaks at Minho's confession.

"Min? Could you look at me?" Chan asks softly. Minho finally looks at Chan, and he has tears threatening to spill.

"Those are so many what-ifs, sweetheart. We can't dwell on what-ifs, okay? We'll all make time with each other if that makes you feel better. We'll have mandatory date nights every Friday. Secondly, if we get jealous because we feel like you're not spending enough time with us, we'll come to you and tell you that. We're all adults, so we can do that. Lastly, we won't break up because we all love each other too much. If we feel like it's too much, we'll let everyone know," Chan says. That's when Minho starts crying and puts his head against Chan's chest. Chan looks at you and Jisung worriedly, as if he said something wrong.

"I hate you sometimes, Chan. I really do. What kind of boyfriend makes their boyfriend cry? Why do you have to be so sweet?" Minho says, hitting Chan's chest, and he winces but lets out a laugh.

"Boyfriend?" Chan says, and Minho looks up at Chan, trying to wipe the tears quickly. "Don't make me regret saying that. I'll take it back," Minho says, and Chan laughs.

"Of course I won't," Chan says, wrapping his arms around Minho. Chan places a kiss on Minho's head, who makes a face, and you and Jisung can't help but laugh.

"Oh hush. I don't want to hear anything from you both," Minho says, laying his head on Chan's chest, sending a playful glare at you both.

Jisung pouts. "You see how our boyfriend treats us. He doesn't really love us," Jisung says with a playful pout on his face.

"I do love you guys. You just are annoying," Minho says, and you shake your head. "I guess Ji was right. Our boyfriend really doesn't love us," you say with a pout just the same as Jisung's.

Minho goes to stand up and almost loses balance. Luckily, Chan catches him before he hits the ground and brings him into his chest. "Careful, love. I don't want you to hurt yourself." Minho pouts softly. "Fuck you, Chan. I can't even go kiss our boyfriend and girlfriend to show them I love them because you took away my ability to walk," Minho says, and Chan laughs.

"I haven't heard Y/N complain about not being able to walk," Chan says softly. Before you can speak up, Jisung does. "Yeah, because she was too busy complaining to me about it," Jisung says before hiding his face in your neck once more.

Chan just smirks in return. "That just means I'll have to see if you'll complain about it too," Chan says, and a small whine leaves Jisung.

"Y/N! He's threatening me," Jisung says with a whine. Minho just laughs. "I don't think you were complaining about that yesterday. Matter of fact, didn't you say-" Minho is quickly cut off by Jisung. "Well, look at that, I think it's time to go shower. Shouldn't we go shower?" Jisung says quickly standing up and helping you stand, yet you think your knees are going to give out. Jisung quickly lets you lean against him.

"Actually, thinking they should shower first," Jisung says, looking at Chan, who laughs with a nod. "Yeah, they probably should. A bath is probably better so they don't fall," Chan says jokingly, and Jisung laughs. They both lead you and Minho to the tub and turn on the water for you both to get in.

"Can I take back what I said about you being my boyfriend?" Minho says in reply to Chan's joke. "I agree. I think we should set up a group club dedicated to those who have been affected by his jokes," you say softly, and Jisung shakes his head.

"Neither of you get to do that. You both agreed to dating me, and now it's too late," Chan says, kissing Minho's head and then yours.

"How did you survive with this man?" Minho asks jokingly, and you shake your head. "I don't know."

"You know at least Jisung isn't trying to break up with me and make a club dedicated to my jokes," Chan says, looking at Jisung who smiles. "True, but if they asked me to join the club, I wouldn't say no. I mean, look at them. They're hot, Chan. They could get me to agree with anything," Jisung says, and Chan pouts.

"I've been betrayed by all my lovers in a span of minutes. What do I do now?" Chan says, and Jisung places a soft kiss on his lips.

"Learn to deal with it," Jisung whispers softly against his lips.

Taglist: @20minsat180degrees @oreoqueen @mellhwang

[pondering-gales-left-orb]

when people ask "why is Mystra bland and Shar and Vlaakith are MASSIVE AND SLAYING HARD?" i want to screem

Ugh if i see that post criticizing Mystra for looking average compared to Shar or vlaakith reblogged one more time Im gonna scream fchgcg do you guys not understand the difference ?

I didn't expect to wake up today and be a Mystra defense attorney but yall need your perspective to be ripped wide open

disclaimer: this only goes as deep as the game lore the actual lore the game is based on is much more expansive and goes into detail about everything im about to quickly explain so i recommend reading it.

So first off all lets redefine your understanding of what Mystra is ,

She is magic, she is the weave, the very fabric of the weave is Mystra, when gale reached out to the purple light and said he can feel her he was not kidding he was literally holding a tiny fraction of her in his hand

All of the scenes that include the astral sea? all the flashes of magic all the outer planes scenes ? All the colors and twinkling? the setting itself? all of it is Mystra

its not made by her it IS her

when my guy Gale said we stand in the palm of Mystra he wasn't being poetic he was being literal the very fabric of the illusion he conjures is Mystra not from her but is her

(on a side note Gale is pretty much very literal in his words and what he tells you but people always brush that off as some scholarly exaggeration for some reason which is another post tbh)

What did you guys think the meaning of magic dying with Mystra's death and her having be reborn 3 times to bring it back to stability?? Its not only because she controls it but because she *is* it.

When you look at Scene that have her or the weave do not only recognize Mystra as the face you see but include the background, the lights, the colors, the magic, everything, if its hard to visualize just imagine the weave and the weave plane as an extension of her dress all of it just the fabric of her dress going on and on and on making everything around her and Gale.

like notice how Mystra physically is not in these pics but she still is because every flash of purple is a thread of her being

here when you look at her you probably only see her "human form" but expand your understanding to see her as the weave behind her the sparkles, and stars, the weave rain around her, the very floor she is standing on, the sky she is floating around in

Now onto the second point:

Why do Shar and Vlaakith present as these all powerful terrifying massive beautiful entities when needing to converse with their followers and Mystra presents as a regular woman ?

There are alot of points i can touch on that will explain there are a 100 reasons

But the main ones are Shar and Vlaakith NEED to intimidate their followers into recognizing them (in other words put the fear of god and anime into the hearts of people that look to them) because without this fear that they inspire they have no influence, they need to convince anyone that lays eyes on them that they are powerful from the very first glance, their power and influence depend on how much people fear them into submission.along side looking ethereal and menacing Shar uses pain and Vlaakith uses false godhood and rewritten gith history to achieve that . that's why they are beautiful and fearsome and massive and their temples/creche's are massive and grand Vlaakith's being on the highest mountain in the tallest building and Shar's gauntlet and house of pain being the deepest underground Structure to exist to the point that its a bit unbelievable (to the point that i had to pan with my camera outside around the mountain to see if its even plausible fhdjd) all of this is supposed to inspire absolute fear and submission into anyone that walks in makes them feel small and dominated by the goddesses power in a single instant so they can instantly gain control over them.

What about Mystra? What do we see she has in comparison?

We see Mystra only has her alter where its used for communication because that's all she needs... She doesn't need to prove her power she doesn't need to make people fear her she doesn't need submission and domination she doesn't need to be recognized because any magic wielding entity can just look into themselves and feel her threads inside of them can look around and feel her presence that's all she needs. And when she communicates with her weave users (what would be considered as her followers but not really) she needs to present an equal footing to them not a dominant one because she needs to discuss things, to reason, to convince them, not only because they are smart and powerful with or without her but because she has no say in what they do with the weave (as long as it doesn't ruin the balance) she cannot stop them or take it from them but she can persuade them to go a certain direction that's the extent of it. And that's why her alignment is neutral instead of evil even though we know she doesn't have the best actions and methods but she doesn't need to hurt people to gain power she simply... Is... And that gives her her power. (another side note this is also gale cant simply stop believing in her or abandon her worship or take of his earnings etc its not that simple as she is in the air he breathes yk)

[mystiquedrops]

Gives me ALLLL your Whit headcanons (angsty pls :3) >:3

Wow- this is actually my first ask here-

And well, I wasn't expecting people to actually be invested in my Whit ANGST stuff - (not complaining though I love feeding y'all even if I poison y'all sometimes, which mb for that- :') )

But alright, if you really want to know, I'll tell them and my reasonings for beliefs :3 (Most of them are inspired though)

Just know, they probably aren't as interesting as you probably expected and very bland and simple- :'))

Soo

MINI-SPOILERS FOR DRDT IG??? ! AND SPOILERS FOR KNY (SINCE OFC I'LL REFERENCE IT EVEN IF IT DOESN'T GO HERE)

(only for the like backstory and other stuff that aren't really relevent I think-)

WHIT YOUNG ANGST HC TIME !! 💔

(These are just my interreptions obviously- your choice whether you believe or not)

-Whit's parents are probably divorced Imo. (Reasoning for belief; Correct me if I'm wrong but, he did say his father is always overseas- I get that work exists but.. who stays overseas ALWAYS? What is you doing bffr 💀.) (Yes I'm aware absent parent doesn't mean divorced but. I swear it feels like they're divorced Imo)

-Whit picked up on his mother's personality after she died. (Reasoning for belief; Actually, this HC is inspired by Demon Slayer, where Shinobu copies Kanae's personality after her death 💀. And Shinobu and Whit reminded me of eachother with their smiley attitude+ overall calm-ish demeanor- Whit being more childish ofc I inspired two HCs off of her for Whit actually- wowsies ! )

-The cardigan Whit is wearing probably originally belonged to his mother once (Reasoning for belief; Again, Demon Slayer inspiration- Shinobu wears Kanae's haori after she died. And since Whit kinda reminds me of her in terms of Hashiras, ofc she's used as inspiration :3)

-Whit gets stunned in place, COMPLETELY caught offguard whenever someone lashes out at him unexpectedly/when he's least expecting it (Reasoning for belief; Well, Idk if this is ANGST worthy. I think it's.. normal to get stunned in place when you get lashed out on?? Idk- I'm just giving whatever I have since I'm asked- Anyways, remember Episode 12 where David told Whit to stfu?? Yeah, the music dropped dead silent and Whit also went silent after that 😶 not to mention we don't get a glance at his sprite to confirm his reaction. So I think he was stunned in place- and.. if it's alright to mention, that FTE with Charles when Charles suddenly lashed out at him for making fun of him which I think they both were in the wrong don't expect me to defend either actions here. Yeah, he went stunned in place for a bit-)

-Uhm, hmm.. If Whit were to have a breakdown, I imagine it'd be a bit quiet-ish breakdown. Similarly to what Rosie had back in Ch2, and maybe a TINY mix of Hu's meltdown (Reasoning for beliefs; Tbh. Even if I find interesting in the idea of Whit breaking down as much as y'all of everyone else does- I think his breakdown will be real quiet-ish.. silent tears or smth. Because with how emotionally repressed he seems not to mention his "Bitter things should go down the drain" quote It just.. makes sense to me it'd come out very.. slowly.)

-Whit pretty much downplays his intuition and makes them into a joke, until they actually come to reality (Reasonings for belief; I can't count this as a reasoning but.. you can take this as a hint for a LITTLEEE prediction I have :3 "Charles Cuevas pronounced dead at 3, cause of death, fatally unfunny" WHO SAID THAT-/j)

Idk what else to say, or how else to describe my other HCs without sounding insane. But that's about it-

I appreciate y'all's interests though in my Whit ANGST stuff ! I'll probably try to do more when he gets more canonical info :3 (No promises though I'm very lazy too. That's a ask to my motivation)

(Sorry if I bored anyone with how boring and simple they are btw- that's the best I can do- they won't age well anyways so, I don't think anyone cares, right?-)

Thanks for reading !

[genericpuff]

I'm not sure if you've answered this question before but what were some of the things that made you interested in Lore Olympus in the past and at what point did you lose interest?

I adored the art in the beginning, and just like, the really warm-feeling romance that just had me feeling so giddy reading it. There were some red flags in the beginning like the age gap, but I kinda fell for the same mindset of "well they're gods so what does it matter" (obviously I can't in good faith use that argument anymore because if the age gap didn't matter then it either wouldn't exist or wouldn't be brought up in the first place lmao but it took me a while to realize that).

Now, to be fair, LO was also one of my first introductions to webtoons as a format, prior to that I had read mostly manga and left-to-right indie webcomics (i.e. comics that were hosted on their own site) and I was still in the early years of my own development as a writer and artist (I still feel like I'm early in that development tbh) so of course there were undoubtedly a lot of obvious flaws that went over my head (and I was younger and inexperienced so I wasn't as critical of what media I was watching / reading as I am now) but that's been half the fun of catching them now - it's given me a lot more perspective and helped me hone my own skills in my writing by analyzing what's wrong with LO and brainstorming on how those problems can be avoided.

But then there was the Act of Wrath plotline and I was completely sold on it being gold. Anyone who's read my original work knows how much of a SUCKER I am for "dark alter ego" plotlines, I eat that shit up like junk food. But what I like about the dark alter ego tropes is when they're used to explore the subconscious, question one's morals and true identity, etc. That was what I was hoping for and expecting with the AoW plotline in LO - that her "dark self" was gonna be a reflection of how she felt "held back" by her circumstances in the Mortal Realm, and her wrath being something she could use for retribution (in a "do no harm but take no shit" kinda way). Especially with how naive and innocent she was in the beginning, I loved the idea of her slowly coming to terms with her "darker" side and learning not to suppress her emotions until they had nowhere else to go and exploded (which was how I interpreted the AoW).

So when it didn't do that, or even explore an ounce of nuance regarding her relationship with her wrath, I was very disappointed to say the least. When Eris was revealed to be the one who "blessed" her with wrath, that was when the rose colored glasses started to fall off and I realized "wait, does Rachel not have an actual plan for this whole Kore vs. Persephone thing???" And now her wrath is literally just there to... give her the power to bully people?? It just feels so disheartening to see such potential squandered.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not gonna chastise a story if it doesn't go exactly where I want it to go, there would be no fun in that anyways (and that's what fanfiction is for lmao). But when a story is leaving very interesting but connectable breadcrumbs that are VERY clearly leading you somewhere and then just... doesn't, that's when it's disappointing and unsatisfying. LO feels like a "creator vs. the reader" story in the worst way possible, where it's constantly leaving breadcrumbs, getting pissed when the audience "figures it out", so then it overcorrects and tries to "subvert" itself to keep the readers "on their toes"... but the problem is that all it really does is punish the readers for paying attention and investing themselves in the story by giving them a worse story. It's like Rachel's getting mad at people for figuring out a story that she's writing and hinting towards.

And this has been going on for YEARS now, it's like a Shepard tone where it sounds like it keeps getting higher and higher in pitch but then doesn't actually resolve so your brain is just scrambling trying to figure out what in the world it could be "building up to".

There's nothing. It's not building up to anything. It's just constantly putting down new plot threads that are slightly altered versions of previous plot threads and expecting you to keep following along while it makes a mess of itself. It feels like you're going somewhere but you're actually still just running in place. It's just Rachel never learning how to progress past the middle school writing level of "and then this happened and then this happened and then this happened". Not only is it disorganized writing, but it's just... it's so boring. Nothing's exciting or interesting anymore when it keeps distracting itself with shiny new plotlines and characters that never get resolved.

It's like when you were a kid and thought "man , when I grow up, I'm gonna eat nothing but chocolate cake and ice cream every day forever!" and then you get older and you realize you were being silly because eating nothing but chocolate cake and ice cream every day 1.) isn't good for you and doesn't feel good, and 2.) the appeal and novelty of it wears off if you can have it any time you want, it doesn't feel as special anymore as it did when you were a kid and having those things was a treat.

To compare this back to LO, none of its "reveals" feel like treats anymore, they feel like just another half-assed attempt to keep people interested. It's clickbait.

And don't get me wrong, you CAN totally subvert the breadcrumbs you put down for your audience and go in a completely different direction than where the audience was expecting, but it takes a shitload of skill and thought to do it well. Attack on Titan is one of the best recent examples of a story appearing to completely throw out its original script halfway through, only for that script to actually still be relevant in a very complex and thought out way. Especially when there ARE hints towards the big "twist" that make you go back and rewatch it and realize "WAIT, THEY'VE BEEN GIVING US THE ANSWERS ALL THIS TIME?!?!"

(it would be TWO MORE FUCKING SEASONS before this ending would make sense, that's fucking GENIUS foreshadowing and in the CREDITS SEQUENCE LIKE ?? IT'S SO BLINK AND YOU'LL MISS IT HOLY SHIT-)

Evidently Rachel does not have that skill and is not willing to put in that thought; maybe she could some day, but I don't think she's learning it on the job as well as she thinks she is.

And it's disappointing as fuck because it could have been so much better than this. Rachel is literally the only one getting in her own way of LO being something truly great.

[annab-nana]

Scenario: New Years kiss with bucky

here it is! this can be read alone, but i did continue the partner idea from this blurb because i like the concept

warnings: not proofread, drinking (a bit of champagne), kinda long for a blurb tbh

❀ masterlist ❀

"you clean up nice, barnes," you told him as you let your fingers fiddle with his collar behind his neck.

you caught sight of his tensing jaw out of the corner of your eye as you surveyed the room behind him. you knew he wasn't your biggest fan, but you couldn't change what happened any more than he could. and you both tried. especially him.

you didn't mean to overhear the desperate conversation he had with nat after about two weeks of working with you, but you did. his words rang in your head every time you were working with him.

i can't stand being around her.

please, switch partners with me.

i'm begging you, anybody but her.

you weren't enthralled to have him as a partner either, but it was what it was. you had to move on with it. but, it didn't make his words hurt any less, no matter how much you tried to lighten the mood.

and, on top of it all, he was angry with you over the stupidest thing. before you transferred to the avengers, you were working with other people. people who were not happy with the winter soldier and sent you to kill him. you were just following through on a mission, same as he had done for several years. if anyone could understand that, you'd expect it to be him.

you had been working with him for almost three months now and while you haven't heard anything as harsh as his talk with nat, he still didn't seem very pleased with the arrangement.

he didn't respond to your compliment, opting to keep his eyes trained behind you. that was all either of you could do right now. that and dance together in order to blend in at this stupid high-class new year's eve party and keep your eyes peeled for luchina nefaria and whitney frost. however, you could only look at the same people around you for so long before you grew tired of it.

"i'm gonna go get a drink," you told him and took a step in the direction of the server with champagne flutes on his tray. bucky's hand on your arm stopped you from going any further.

"you can't get drunk on a mission," he reminded you sternly.

you couldn't help the roll of your eyes. "i know that. a little champagne never hurt anybody," you defended, tugging your arm out of his grasp before muttering to yourself, "though i need to get drunk in order to deal with you," as you walked away from him.

as you approached the server and grabbed a drink for yourself, you let your eyes scan the new group of people you found yourself in the middle of. unfortunately, none of them fit the description of the pair you were searching for. but, something else did catch your eye.

the clock.

specifically, the fifteen seconds you had left until midnight.

this was probably the shittiest part of the mission, but steve and nat explained that no one looks at a couple kissing. it makes them uncomfortable and in a room full of kissing couples, a couple not kissing will stick out like a sore thumb.

you gulped down the rest of what was in your glass before placing it back on the server's tray.

eleven seconds were left when you left the server's side to find bucky.

seven seconds were left when you saw the back of the brunet's head.

five seconds were left when he turned and met your eye.

three seconds were left when you stood in front of him.

"i know you're going to hate this, but we have to do it," you said, unsure if you were talking to him or yourself.

as soon as the words left your lips, the room filled with cheers for the new year, and bucky's arms wrapped around you. it took you a moment to register his lips on your own, but once you did, you played the part just as well as he was and he was playing the part very well. your fingers gripped at his suit jacket and slid through his hair while your mouth melded with his like it belonged there.

you were in a daze when you both pulled away from each other.

"what makes you think i'd hate it?" bucky asked while you were still in the process of catching your breath and trying to be inconspicuous about it.

"what?"

"kissing you? why do you think i'd hate that?"

you had no control of the light scoff that escaped your lips. "maybe because you hate me?"

"i-" he cut himself off to sigh, "i don't hate you, y/n. i'm just- i-"

your patience was thin. "spit it out, buck."

"i'm having a hard time keeping my work life and personal life separate."

your brows furrowed as you tried to decipher what he meant. "what does that have to do with me? i'm your work life. there's nothing personal about that unless you make it that way, so what's the issue? tell me what it is, so i can fix it because whether you like it or not, we're stuck with each other."

in your head, he was telling you that you irritated him so much that it was becoming personal to him. he must still be begging nat for a partner switch. that would explain why you went on a quick mission with sam last week.

"jeez, do i have to spell it out for you?" you heard him whisper to himself before his hands found your shoulders to keep your focus on him. "that kiss? it wasn't fake for me. what's personal for me about you is that i can't get you out of my head and it's driving me crazy. i'm falling in love with you and if that's not something you're interested in, you need to tell me. if you aren't into it and it would make you uncomfortable, let me know and i will make someone switch partners with me so you can be with someone else who can actually focus on the mission instead of what it would be like to be with you."

if you were breathless before, then there wasn't an atom of oxygen in your lungs right now. that's what it felt like anyway. you were wrong and normally, you weren't fond of that feeling. but right now, you were over the moon to be wrong.

your brain felt like it was lagging. it was still taking in his words though he was done speaking and the way his blue eyes were dancing all over your face looking for some sort of response was driving you wild. your throat felt closed up, so a verbal response was out the window until you gained control of it again. there was only one other option you could think of, so you went for it.

you surged forward and captured his lips with yours, trying your best to convey everything you felt about him through the kiss.

"don't look for someone else," you told him firmly when you broke apart, "stay with me. be my partner. be with me."

you knew bucky didn't smile often and he definitely didn't do it in front of you, but for the first time ever, you were in the presence of a bucky barnes grin. you wanted to make that expression more permanent.

"yeah, okay. i'm here. i'm yours."

and just like that, your 2024 got a whole lot better.

remember to support writers & reblog :)

turn on notifications for @annab-library to be notified when i post something new or join the tag list here!

tag list: @marjorie189 @bradleybeachbabe @drewsephrry

[wrongcaitlyn]

Do you have any headcanons for the canon pjoverse???

oh my GOD DO I?? I HAVE SO MANY it's hard to even keep track of them all bc tbh i forget which ones are canon or not canon

in general i've put a *lot* of my hc's into my fics, specifically my because i'm a mirrorball series which is basically my version of will's backstory (even though a large amount of it was disproved by tsats... i'm just ignoring that bc it's already engrained in my head even though i did enjoy tsats)

i also think i share quite a few of the popular hc's of the fandom, just because i'm actually pretty new to it (read the pjo series in like september of 2022 i think? and then hoo and toa immediately after) and i consume fandom content to an unhealthy extent

HOWEVER here are some things i feel very strongly about

will is a swiftie. i think this is canon bc rick mentioned it during the tsats book tour i think?? or maybe cotg?? not sure but i DO think he said it at some point

and also his favorite album is fearless like he's that album's number one stan im sorry there's no other answer

nico can cook like rlly well

LEO NICO AND WILL FRIENDSHIP i know that leo lives at the waystation now. but. BUT. i'd like to think that he'd visit chb every once in a while and they'd be pretty good friends

adding on to that, aroace leo. caleo what? nope. leo is aroace and he was in denial and i actually wrote a whole fic about it because i just feel very VERY strongly about this

i just love the idea that even before toa, apollo was more present in his kids' lives than other gods. like, showing up in dreams and stuff. even if it came from a different purpose, like wanting to show off his poetry or music or whatever, he wasn't completely absent from their lives

i very much like the idea of will and nico sort of stepping up to be the "leaders"-ish of chb once percabeth leave for new rome. i mean, will already sort of is one with him being the head medic and also having seniority over a lot of the campers, and nico being a child of the big three like percy

percabeth returning to chb to create a sort of new rome type place for older demigods to live!! so they do not feel like they're going to die young immediately when arriving!!! bc they are children!! and deserve to live long lives!!!

i have a *lot* of thoughts about will and his trauma, but one of the main things i believe about him is that his fatal flaw is putting others before him and overworking himself. i think that being pushed into the head medic position from such a young age sort of emphasized this, though i also think (from my ideas of his childhood) that he was kind of always taught to put other people and other jobs at a higher priority than himself

nico dies first. i know i was just talking about them living long lives and i think that ends up being true, but also nico is a demigod child of hades and i think around his 30s would already be way longer than anyone would expect. anyway, i think that he dies first, simply because i cannot put that boy through any more, and i know i could say the same thing about will after having lost so much as well, but i think that the idea of nico being right at the entrance of the underworld by the river styx to welcome will once he dies (bc nico's the ghost king/prince of the underworld and isn't confined to elysium) is a very comforting thought

those are the main things i can think of right now just off the top of my head, but if there's any specific parts of canonverse that you'd like my thoughts about, feel free to ask! this didn't really cover a lot of like the general pjo/hoo timeline and it was mainly solangelo centric but likeee these are just things i thought of first! thank u for the ask!!

[morlock-holmes]

The people you’re arguing with re: pre-modern quality of life, are all broadly rationalist-adjacent, and are therefore deeply committed to arch-Whig-History and will never concede that anything was better for anyone ever before this exact moment in time.

for what it’s worth, I get your point - comparative social status is really great, and people who had a lot of it might’ve been very unwilling to give it up in order to certain material benefits of industrial society.

For a total no-brainer post-industrial example - anyone who’d trade being a trust fund playboy in the early 20th century for being a lower income wage worker today is a fool. There is no way you could legitimately argue that the internet is better than a life of relative leisure, high status, and wealth.

the further back you go, the trickier the argument gets, due to things like antibiotics, motorized transport, etc all being pretty handy, but I absolutely would go to bat that the median Regency English gentry or noble had a better quality of life than the median lower income American, in many respects.

go back to the Iron Age, gets a little trickier, but idk, I might still say that a high status Viking leader had a better life than I do, but it’s a smaller chunk of society the further back you go. Wealthy Romans seemed to be having a pretty decent time, tbh

I do think I’m more sensitive to relative status than some people. That said, I also think a lot of the Whig History fans I’ve known were part of the current socioeconomic top 10% and just didn’t realize how much it sucks to not have that status. Especially looking at a guy like John Green going in on it, like yeah John, of course you don’t rate being nationally known and respected for making a living pursuing your life’s passion, you’re doing that now

Well, I have another side to things, though you get most of it.

I mean, I don't want to overestimate wealth here. Part of my point is *also* that, assuming what we read of Diogenes is true, he was probably more fulfilled as a human being than Elon Musk, and Elon Musk is the world's richest man in the safest and most technologically advanced time in human history while Diogenes lived in a god damn jug.

Like, people who idealize or become nostalgic about the past are very, very often asking,

"Why do I feel so [angry/tired/hopeless/trapped] despite the fact that I have easy access to [insert material comfort here]"

And the response is very often to say, "Because you are fundamentally irrational. [Insert material comfort here] is actually the most important advancement in all of human history."

Like, in that conversation one person says,

"You live better than anybody in pre-industrial times."

And when I say, "Well, I don't know, Leonard Da Vinci and Gengis Khan seemed like they did okay"

A second person comes along to say,

"Well, those are inherently scarce positional goods, you can't expect social advances to make those more prevalent, what modernity actually gives us is travel, a library, a well-stocked sewing room, a hundred paintings you painted yourself"

And when I say, "Yeah I don't have that stuff either" a third person says,

"Yeah, obviously you can't expect to get that stuff, modernity gives you flush toilets, iPads and childhood vaccines."

And first of all yeah, I know, I said that, and second:

*Boy* have these rose-y eyed optimists spent a *lot* of time telling me what sorts of human pleasures I really ought to stop expecting to have more of.

I mean "wasn't stillborn" is quite literally the *absolute bare minimum* that a person can expect out of life.

Remember how in the 50s some kid would hate peas, and his parents would force him to eat them and if he complained they'd say, "You ought to be grateful for those peas, there are starving children in Africa"?

Turns out that "You'd better learn to be thankful for this because it's all you're gonna get and you could have it a lot worse" isn't actually optimistic or empowering.

And that sentiment lurks just below the surface of a lot of these odes to modernity.

PS - If you asked that pea hating child whether he would want to trade places with that starving African child he might well say, "Well, at least *he* isn't being forced to eat these awful peas!" and I think there is some justice to that response even if it doesn't represent a literal desire to experience a famine.

[obsessedwithpedritoofc]

Sʜᴇʟᴛᴇʀ (Sɪʟᴠᴀ)

ℙ𝕒𝕚𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘: Silva × Male Reader.

𝕎𝕠𝕣𝕕 𝕔𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕥: 2,4 k.

𝕊𝕦𝕞𝕞𝕒𝕣𝕪: When you notice some stuff disappearing in your house, you decide to put a quick end to it. What you didn't expect was to fall in love with the cause of your problems.

𝕎𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤: fluff, allusion to smut, allusion to reader being top and silva bottom, (just a little) angst, mentions of alcohol, getting drunk, abandonment, shots being fired, spoilers for Strange Way of Life, no physical descriptions of reader, no use of Y/N (reader is referred to as Lost). (lmk if i missed any).

𝔸/ℕ: ATTENTION ALL SINNERS, this is a prequel, but it also contains references to the other fic, so go read it right now if you havent yet! aside from that, i wont say im happy with this fic but im not disgusted by how it came out? i feel pretty normal about it tbh. its got some fluff and some angst (just how i like it hehe), also bc im preparing myself to write the next fic which is gonna be pretty... idk how to describe it lol. ENOUGH TALKING. enjoy <3

𝕡𝕥 𝕚: 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕠𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣 𝕞𝕒𝕟

𝕡𝕥 𝕚𝕚 (𝕡𝕣𝕖𝕢𝕦𝕖𝕝): 𝕤𝕙𝕖𝕝𝕥𝕖𝕣

𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

Sunlight came through your window and hit you right in the eyes. You groaned when you opened them just to find a burning, stinging pain as the light pierced your pupils.

Reluctantly, you got up from your bed. Your left foot kicked an empty bottle of wine by the floor. Headache hit you like a truck, just like your memories of the night before, when you had arrived home from a long day and got as drunk as you could. Great, now you didn't have a single drop of alcohol in your place.

You looked through the window as one of the horses outside whined. As soon as you were dressed, you walked outside to them. You approached to one and scratched his nose, mumbling some praises before walking into the stables to feed them. Still, you found their sacks of food empty. Another grunt came out of your throat. 

Just when I thought I wouldn't have to go to town for a while, you damned yourself.

Getting back into the house, you looked for any breakfast you could have before walking all the way to the town. To your surprise, you didn't find anything in your cabinets. That was weird —you had just gone to town the day before to get some food and you suddenly didn't have any?

You tried to shrug it off as you walked back outside to grab one of your horses. You galloped to town and bought anything you needed for a couple days, so you really didn't have to go back until a week or so. You hated going to town. Too many people in one place at once. The saloon was the only place where you could be without complaining about people bothering you and taking too much space for your liking. Yes, you had some friends down there, but it was all more of a convenient friendship than anything else.

You went back to your ranch a while afterwards —and after going to the saloon to say hi to your best girl friends with a promise to go back in a couple days to give them a good time. First thing you did after leaving your bags in the house was feed the horses. You let them run around for a bit before taking them back into the stables, then you went back inside the house.

As soon as you started putting your recently bought food into the cabinets, you noticed one of the bags was missing. You refused to think you were having hallucinations. You new you weren't crazy.

So, you decided to secure the ranch. 

You prepared traps by the stables, the kitchen and the entryway. In case anything —or anyone— appeared and stepped into one of them, you would hear it and prevent your food to be stolen. You also hopped that whatever or whoever it was that was robbing you wasn't taking more than just your food —mostly because you hadn't set any traps where there wasn't any. And after making sure it was all safe, you went to sleep.

In the dead of night, just as you had expected, you were awaken by a brief explosion and a loud grunt. You immediately got up, grabbed your shotgun and ran downstairs to the stables.

Between the darkness and all the dust from the recent explosion, you were able to see a silhouette, which you aimed the gun at.

"Hands up and turn around!", you made sure the sound of the shotgun being loaded was heard loud and clear. "Slowly".

You saw the silhouette put their arms up, though you could barely make out the way they were turning around. You took a step back.

"Now you're gonna walk in my direction, slowly", another step back. The silhouette kept walking with you.

When you were finally out of the stables and the moonlight hit his face, you scanned the now visible silhouette up and down. It was a man —very handsome, actually— with ragged clothes and disheveled hair. A small moustache was beginning to grow on his face, along with a stubble from a couple days without shaving. His skin was stained with mud, and he still had dirt all over his arms and face from the explosion trap he had triggered. His plush lips were half open, breathing somewhat heavily.

"Sorry", he mumbled. His voice made your stomach drop for a moment, but you kept your composure. "I didn't mean to be a burden", he approached slowly, still with his hands up. "I don't intend t—".

"Don't come any closer", you held the shotgun high, still aiming at his head. "One more step and I blow your fucking head off".

"Okay, no need to fire, I won't move", he took a step back.

"Why were you stealing my food?".

"I didn't want to", his words made you raise an eyebrow. "I had to survive. I have been traveling for a month, I come from a town far away from here. I didn't have anywhere to stay at, or money to buy food with", he looked around. "Your ranch was the first place I saw and I needed shelter. So...", he took a deep breath. "I'm sorry".

You scanned the man upside down. He had no guns on him, nor did he seem dangerous. Even more, his face and body language made you think he was harmless. Perhaps he was telling you the truth.

"You can stay", you lowered your shotgun. "For tonight only", you kept the gun loaded as he lowered his arms, just in case. "I'll give you some food and you'll leave tomorrow", you stared into his eyes. He did so, too. "Are we clear?".

"Yessir", he turned around and went back into the stables, coming back out with a leather bag on his shoulder. "Lead the way".

And so, you let him spend the night with you in your ranch, on the condition that he would do it on a sleeping bag beside your bed so you could keep an eye on him —in case he tried something. It wasn't too useful, though, since you fell deep asleep as soon as you hit the bed. Still, he didn't seem to be much trouble. In fact, he had woken up before you did, but he just stood by the door, waiting for you to get up before doing anything. When you did, he told you he didn't want you to be suspicious of him doing or stealing anything, and that is why he had waited. You hardly believed it, but you finally decided to, since you later on searched in case he was lying, though you didn't find anything missing.

"My name is Silva, by the way", his voice took you out of your thoughts as you took a bite from your bread. A smile formed on his lips when he saw your surprised and confused expression. "Sorry, I know you didn't ask me".

"Oh", you processed what he had said as fast as your mind let you. "No, don't apologize, it's fine", you swallowed the bread, then cleared your throat. "I'm Lost", you smiled back. His lips curled further upwards.

After you both had eaten breakfast, you took him to town with you. Many people asked you who he was. You told them he was a business colleague. Many looked at you with disgust, other many gave you a knowing smile. You just shrugged, shook your head and tried to finish shopping as quickly as you could. 

After making sure you had bought everything you needed for a week or so —and that no one would try to steal it all from you—, you went back to the ranch with him. Then, you gave him a horse and a bag with a bit of the food you had bought earlier that day. He looked down at the bag, then up at you, still with his head down.

"I can't take this", he said, his eyes hidden behind his eyelashes. The way he looked like that made your stomach flutter.

"Yes, you can", you grabbed the bag back from his hand and shoved it into his chest. You heard a soft gasp coming from his mouth. "And you will. You'll find a way to repay me, if we ever see each other again".

After saying that, his eyes grew wide and his lips opened slightly. You felt your own face going all red when you finally realized what you had said, you immediately made him turn around and pushed him towards the horse.

"Come on! I wanna get back all the hours of sleep you took from me last night!", you shouted as an excuse. Silva turned around and grabbed your hands to keep you from continuing to push him.

"What if I repay you now?", he stared intently into your eyes. The way his pupils dilated sent shivers down your spine. You know what he meant.

And it scared you.

"What are you talking about? Just head off, hope to see you soon—".

"You know what I'm talking about", he squeezed your hands. Your heart skipped a bit. "I will be honest", he breathed deeply. "I have been alone for too long, and you seem to be pretty alone, all by yourself in this ranch, too", his eyes shifted to your lips for a moment before going back up.

"Do I look like that kinda guy?", you lifted one of your eyebrows. Silva scanned you up and down with a knowing look.

"Do you want me to lie?", he scoffed.

How the hell does he know? He's only been with me for a day!, you cursed yourself.

But he knew he was right. You hadn't gone visit your best girl friends in a while, you were already lacking some attention. And judging the way he was looking at you —and as he had told you— he felt pretty lonely as well. He was right. You two needed relief and you had the answer to your problems right under your noses.

With a quick move of your hands, you freed yourself from his grip and grabbed his own wrists. Then you stared into his eyes.

"I top", you said, more of an affirmation than a question. You saw his eyes lighting up and his lips curl into a wide smile.

Forgetting about the bag of food left by the stables, you ran up to your bedroom and made sure to give Silva the best night in a long time. At least that's what he said when you were done. He thanked you multiple times —also giving you a pretty good time. He even made sure to clean you both up and offered to change your bedsheets next morning, if you let him stay another night.

When you came to realize, you were letting him live with you in your ranch. He took care of the animals when you were busy, accompanied you to run your errands to town, you ate together, slept together...

And when you came to realize, you saw yourself being so in love with the man that you could barely open an entire hour away from him. You had grown so used to him being close to you that you genuinely couldn't imagine your life without him anymore. Truth be told, you never imagined liking someone like him. In fact, you really thought you would spend the rest of your days going from your ranch to town looking for the same girls at the saloon to satisfy your needs —or at least some of them. So being in love with Silva made you feel part scared, part uncomfortable.

But also part happy.

You thought of telling him many times, but the feeling that he would reject you made you retreat many times. Maybe he was just sleeping with you so you let him stay, maybe he was pretending to like you for the food, the bed, maybe he was just there so he would have any kind of stability before killing you, taking your ranch from you, maybe—.

"I always wanted to live at a ranch when I was younger", his voice made you come back to reality. His lips were curled in a wide smile as he looked around the bedroom, sheets covering his naked body, his hands tucked under his head. "That is another reason why I hid here when I first came", his eyes stopped on you. "I like it here".

"If that's your way of telling me you're staying here—".

"No, I didn't mean that. I just do. I like being here", he grabbed your hand and gave you a sweet smile. "With you".

This is it, you thought.

So looked down for a moment, thinking and trying to keep your breathing steady while you tried to find the words to tell him what you had tried to take off your chest for the last months. Then you looked back at him.

"You can stay here", you swallowed the panic that was starting to gather in your throat. "With me. We can have a life together", you looked down at his hand grabbing yours, and you took his other hand as well. "I like you being here with me. I... I haven't been this happy since I was a kid", you let out a nervous giggle. "I want you here with me", you swallowed again. "I love you, Silva".

Your words made his eyes widen for a moment. You even swore you had seen tears in them, but then he cupped your face in his hands and gave you the sweetest kiss someone had ever given you, making your heart skip a beat —again.

When he pulled away, he looked down for a second before looking back into your eyes. He then nodded.

"I will stay", his thumb stroked lazy circles on your cheek. "I will love you, until my last day", he nodded again. You pulled him in for another kiss that left you both breathless, and then you spent a while laughing and immersing yourselves in the other's embrace.

When you opened your eyes again, you looked at him with a wide smile. He did the same. You both knew there was a great future ahead of you, with only the cowboy in front of you and the ranch to give you two shelter where you could grow your life and your love.

Maybe that's what he liked about me, you thought, gulping down the rest of your glass of whiskey.

You looked around the saloon again. Another day with the same shit. And you were not over him yet. How could you be, when after six years together everything had gone to shit in one single afternoon?

You lifted your hand to the waitress, ordering another round. And you made sure to be very drunk before going back to your brand new home.

[fastcardotmp3]

Oh would you so kindly expand on your Murray/that plotline™ thoughts? Btw I didn't remember it as a cheating situation but since it's been so long since watching that season i was taking other people's word for it. And yeah i don't think Murray did anything even if it was. like he didn't make them have sex.

I started to type out an answer to this ask, forgot to save it as a draft, and lost all of my thoughts, so apologies if this is a little disjointed but! I will do my best to give my thoughts coherently <3

I really do think the Murray thing is maybe a mischaracterization of his intentions, but also not the thing I care most about when it comes to narratives that deal with Steve/Nancy/Jonathan situation in season 2, because at the end of the day it's just another reframing of the same tired take tbh

I'll stick it under the cut though because I know I can be wordy

There's this, like, company line in this fandom that Steve and Nancy were just two teenagers who hurt each other, which I one hundred percent agree with, only that tends to be the company line everywhere except for the Steve-centric fics that get written about that plotline, which instead seem to frequently make an argument that "Nancy cheated on Steve, was cruel enough to cause long-term emotional damage, and then either is forced to grovel for forgiveness or be shut out of his and his friends' lives forever" which is. Not that. Right?

Fandom cultures at large, not just this one, are more willing to do empathetic, in-depth character analysis of male characters than they are female. This is something we know to be true and this is something that is noticable in how Nancy gets treated by fanon, especially when it comes to her relationship with Steve.

Because here's the thing, we could debate it all day (and I won't, for the record, if anyone's thinking about starting a fight) but for my part, what she did wasn't cheating. From the very first time I watched season 2 when it was released, I always read the Halloween fight and the morning after as a breakup.

HOWEVER, even if Nancy did cheat on Steve? It doesn't warrant the downright malicious Nancy characterizations that often feel ubiquitous to this fandom.

Even if Nancy did cheat, there is a refusal to look at the situation from her point of view, something which even Steve is canonically able to do by the end of season 2 (we'll get to that). Because there's more nuance here to take into account than just Nancy making a choice to specifically hurt or break Steve and there's more nuance here than Steve being incapable of moving on from this breakup.

In fact, if you really look at the choices both of them are making, it has very little to do with each other and everything to do with their own reactions to immense personal trauma and grief. Nancy has spent a year suppressing a mourning she's not allowed to experience out loud, and you expect her not to snap eventually?

Does personal hardship mean cheating is, like, a good thing (if that's the takeaway you're going with from canon)? No. Does it still wildly differ from the cruel and intentionally malicious version of Nancy that shows up in far too much fic? Yeah.

She's a teenage girl whose best friend died in a violent and preventable way at sixteen years old. Nancy tried to fit herself into Steve's coping strategies, tried to let it all go back to normal, and was visibly hurting in the process. She sought out comfort. Understanding. A chance to be heard.

It's a disservice to both of their characters to treat this like there's a "good" and "bad" guy, when the way they handle it in canon, the way Steve comes to terms with it (literally within days he is telling her to go with Jonathan, by the way), is all vitally important to their growth.

When Steve says "I may not be a very good boyfriend" that's not about him being down on himself or having low self worth, it's a moment of growth and self reflection/ awareness for him to acknowledge that in his efforts to make himself feel better, he also hurt Nancy. It's about him no longer being in the same bitter headspace of "what am I apologizing for?" that he was at the start of the season, and having the maturity to see that they don't work as they are at their current mental states, no matter how heartbreaking that may be for him.

And Nancy choosing to go with Jonathan is really just a continuation of everything she was doing in trying to get justice for Barb-- she's choosing to follow her heart after being trapped away from acknowledging it for so long.

In other words, not only does he not have reason to, but Steve doesn't hate Nancy, Steve doesn't hold a lifelong grudge against Nancy, Steve doesn't think Nancy is a cruel and unfeeling bitch, but fic authors sure seem to.

If it were just a handful of fics here or there, I wouldn't be so adamant about it, but it's such an ingrained narrative in this fandom that sometimes I think people have genuinely forgotten the canon context.

Don't strip them of their agency and everything they learn from getting together and falling apart by making Steve less emotionally competent and Nancy more borderline abusive than either of them are.

It's boring and it's sexist and it shouldn't be the norm.

but that's just my 2 and a half cents peace and love anon, hope this answered your question <3

[punkeropercyjackson]

Uuuuhhhh apperantly my daydreaming disorder decided to give itself a power boost so i came up with a very rough draft of a Dead Sea Siblings Spiderman/Spiderverse specifically based au

Don't even have a name for it yet but we got Spiderpunk!Percy,Spiderman!Nico and Spiderwoman!Hazel.Percy's Spiderpunk because i started this off with having him be a Hobie variant but it also fits because he's bigender a lot of the time to me and that includes this one

The basic premise is that Sally dying was their canon event(but obviously she's not a cop)and it happened when Percy was just in his first year of middle school so he had to raise Nico and Hazel by himself because Smelly Gabe certainly wasn't going to and that's another way of making him even more like Hobie via adultification(parentification specifically).He did a pretty good job at it so the three of them are best friends in addition to being adoptive siblings and also half siblings in Nico and Hazel's case.They all get bitten by radioactive spiders in different contexts but at the same time-Percy's was made radioactive to begin with by illegal waste dumping and he got bit while out on a community service event,Nico was getting picked on and one of his bully's threw his spider onto him when they spotted it and Hazel was too absored in reading her horror book to notice she'd ended up in the forest until she walked face first into webbing.Currently Percy is 20,Nico is 17 and Hazel is 16

Percy does most of the things you'd expected from Spiderman(Including pulling a million people without even noticing and not really caring for it /lh),Nico is a big dabbler in the scientific side of heroism and Hazel is a member of Spider Society because she wants to have a safe shelter and to learn to control parts of her new powers Percy can't teach her about.Percy herself isn't approving of either because she's worried about him getting hurt permantly and her becoming brainwashed but is too nice to them to outright adress it out of fear of upsetting them.That's all i have so far tbh?Other than Percy has a love interest that i'm too scared of being called cringe to share and these civillian designs for them:

So yeah!I hope at least someone likes this and anyone is free to ask me questions or give suggestions^

[the-ace-with-spades]

just wanted to say i would 100% read any hangster omegaverse you write there is not enough of it out there tbh. and also like truly whatever combo/dynamic you feel would be amazing but i would frankly die for some omega bradley cause i never see people take that route and it's such an interesting take on his character to me BUT ANYWAY like i said follow your heart and i'm sure it would be glorious if you do decide to write it

Hi! Thank you for the ask, I'm absolutely flattered ✨ I'm also happy to say that my cliche omega Bradley/alpha Jake mpreg fic has been planned out already - hope you don't mind me using this ask to ramble about it a bit 👉👈

As for the dynamics, we're going with:

omega Bradley and alpha Jake

alpha Mav and alpha Ice

(only mentioned but ) omega Goose and alpha Carole

so Bradley was raised mostly by alphas

omega Phoenix, beta Bob, beta Coyote

scent-wise, they're both on suppressants the majority of the time but when they aren't, they both smell like fuel and dust (Bradley loses it when he stops flying), but Jake's natural scent is dry, earthy one, kinda like straw and hot air on a sweaty day, and Bradley's is honey and vanilla/cinnamon; Mav smells like leather and jet fuel and Ice like cool mint and old paper

Not sure whether this is going to be written in my typical non-linear scene format (alternating past & present povs) just because I'm aiming to try and fit in 40-50k but the backstory/premise/whatever is well, this:

Bradley's experience growing up as a male omega was different than what most expected — most of his family didn't care about what the society said about designations and what was proper and what not. He was very much a stereotypical 'sensitive/soft' omega but he never thought that would hold him back, he literally was taught he could be anything and anyone he wanted. His mom was an alpha that choose to stay home, his dad was one of the first omegas allowed into combat, and after they both passed away, he was taken in by Mav and Ice, two alphas that by society's standards couldn't work out together, but did so better than most couples, and who tried to raise him to be his own person, not a designation. So he had plenty of ‘unconventional’ examples as a child.

That's why it hurt it so much when Mav said he wasn't ready and pulled his papers — it's like all he was taught about being whoever he wanted to be was a lie. Obviously, Bradley reacted by shaming himself out of being soft (to the outside world anyway).

Bradley and Jake met in flight school. They were only supposed to be something out of convenience, to spend heats and ruts together and nothing else. But then they were placed in the same squad after training and things continued and escalated and before they knew it, they were living together, they were each other's emergency contacts, they were each other's official heat/rut partners, on paper.

Jake'd never made him feel like any less because he was an omega and never doubted he was competent enough to be where he was in life — he was an asshole to him the say way he was to others, which was better than being undermined or coddled. Bradley felt like maybe he wasn't confident enough to be himself without care, yet, around Jake, but one day he would.

It was an unspoken thing on base — Bradley was Jake's omega and vice versa.  Unspoken because despite eight years together, they never bonded.

Bradley still has issues, about being an omega, that mostly strive from Mav's you aren't ready and the general opinions about omegas in the Navy. He was okay without all the usual stuff omegas wanted from alphas — couldn't be scented much because of scent neutralisers and suppressants he had to wear at work, couldn't make nests since they spend a lot of their time on deployments or trainings away on different bases and ships, he liked touch but it was both unprofessional at work and very omegian of Bradley at group outings (and he didn’t want the guys he worked with to think too much about him being an omega). 

At home, behind closed doors and in their own bubble, Jake didn't have a problem with giving him those things — what Bradley asked for, he got. Affection, nests, scenting, praises. In private, Jake never hesitated to fulfil whatever stereotypically omegian thing Bradley wanted and never held it against him. Jake’s family didn’t know about them, but given that Bradley wasn’t ready for bonding, that was probably for the best — he knew people could be nosy about when will you get bonded or married, when will you have kids, should you keep working in the Navy after bonding, etc. It bothered him a bit, especially when he had to leave their place and stay with Nat whenever Jake’s family showed up in town or stayed alone over holidays, but well, he never asked Jake for any of it to change and Jake never made the first move.

So Bradley hoped he wouldn't mind giving it all to him when Bradley finally did ask for it.

Then they just came back from deployment, after months on heavy duty suppressants, and his heat and Jake's rut synced up — something that happens only after bonding or after big big stressors — and then he found out he was pregnant.

He took a few to process everything and decided that he wanted it more than he was afraid of how it’d change their life and how people would see him, and he was going to ask for more from Jake and tell him.

Then he comes home and his nest is dismantled and Jake’s got two cans of scent neutralizer on the kitchen table and the first thing he tells Bradley is, “My sister is visiting for a week, gotta be fast because she’s going to be here tomorrow.” And Bradley isn’t so sure anymore.

(probably not the actual dialogue but the gist of what happens) "It's just going to be a few days and everything will go back to normal." "What if I don't want it to go back to normal?" “Look, you’re not exactly the type my family expects—” “So, how do you see us, in the future? Do you not want to get bonded, get married or—or have kids? Or are we just going to do all those things while sneaking around your family forever?” "We have a good thing, why change it? It’d all just be so inconvenient with our lives—”

And Bradley makes a decision again. Packs his stuff, tells him he isn’t comining back and leaves. He was fine alone, he’ll be fine alone again. He just needs some help first.

(gonna get short now, just not to spoil too much) Bradley goes to the only person he can think of — Ice. He moves in with Mav and Ice for the time being, things are awkward so Mav moves out to the hangar and Ice schemes so his two dumbasses talk and they forgive each other.

Fast forward, he’s six months in and the Top Gun recall happens, Bradley is currently Cyclone’s flag lieutenant, and ThingsTM hit the fan.

Scenes the dialogue is written down for (no promises on actual inclusion in the fic):

Jake being a dumbass and calling Bradley fat the minute they see each other in San Diego

The snow scene from the mission but with Mav and Jake arguing about who needs to come back home more

The beach scene with Bradley sitting around with Penny on the patio, drinking mocktails and being thirsty (the other kind)

Jake finally telling his mom

Bradley and Mav getting tricked into going to a doc appointment together (by Ice)

Bradley teaching (or ordering him around, more like) Jake how to do the flooring in the nursery while he sits on a bean bag and eats a whole box of strawberries

It's gonna be a while before I post the first chapter because I want to have at least dialogue written for the whole thing and will shuffle around scenes and plot points, but it's coming!

Thank you to you, anon, and to anyone who helped me figure out some stuff about this au fic 💙

[keepthedelta]

I'm feeling a little stir in the breeze that smells like a little curiosity for kimi (raikkonen, I hate that I have to specify because he's too iconic to need the last name, he should be like Cher, or Madonna, or Vale).

But I wasnt around to watch the earlier races, what was he like when he was actually racing. I've read about the level of skill and how he managed to fight and win from the back of the grid and how he came in a post schumacher era of racing etc, and then he won and things started sliding backwards. Even read somewhere that he was an alcoholic.

Since you're an actual race enjoyer who's been around for a while I wanted to ask what you think of him, or any interesting anecdotes that highlights his sporting mindset, was he a unique talent in any way.

honestly this is a really tough one because kimi is so difficult to truly define. in my opinion he is one of the greatest racing drivers who has ever lived. his talent and ability far exceeded the number of races and championships he won.

early kimi especially in his mclaren era was unlike anything else i've ever seen. he was so fast and so skilled, his car wasn't necessarily the best one on the grid, this was during the height of schumacher and ferrari's reign, but he pushed it to the absolute limit and performed to a legitimately insane level. his reaction speed was exceptional, if you ever see footage from early lap incidents where multiple drivers collided and kimi was able to navigate through insanity with ease you'll see what i mean. he was incredibly fast, incredibly adaptable, incredibly determined.

in my opinion, a lot of people mistake kimi's lack of fucks for a lack of care or a calm but i don't think that's necessarily true. kimi always said that he hated coming second, and his expectation for all drivers was to hate coming second. he cared so much about racing. so many of his most iconic radio moments are about him caring. he knows what he has to do and what he wants to do and he doesn't want anyone interfering with that. he was an absolute lover of the sport, and for all of his "it's just a hobby to me" towards the very end of his career, when he was in a race winning car he cared a lot. i believe he holds the current record for longest time between race wins, and he holds that record because he continued to care about racing and care about winning.

however, i don't think he cared about what people thought of him. kimi did what kimi wanted to do, and most of the time that coincided with what the team wanted, i.e. winning races, but he also liked to have fun. he was pretty famous for drinking and partying, and in what i'm told is fairly stereotypical finnish fashion he went from being fairly stoic when sober to being incredibly friendly/open. there's video of him completely hammered at the 2018 fia gala, one of the drivers who played the stig on british top gear said that he'd been standing in a bar in monaco when kimi collapsed at his feet, completely drunk, jenson button once said that kimi somehow broke into his house on a night out (and nico implied that kimi was not alone when he did so). i've personally never heard that he was an alcoholic but he was certainly a heavy drinker (as most famous drivers are tbh).

mclaren kimi was an absolute driving god, and i personally think he was a bit unlucky in not winning in 2003 or 2005, but the press began to say that it was his fault, that he wasn't focused enough and was more interested in partying. i personally don't think this is true, and kimi proved that when he finally won in 2007. 2007 is mostly remembered for what was going on in mclaren, the lewis fernando civil war, mclaren copying ferrari and fernando blackmailing ron dennis over it, and i think kimi's skill gets a bit lost in the retelling of that year. he was absolutely the best driver that year and thoroughly deserved his championship. he won more races than the others, had more dnfs, and when it came down to the final few races and he absolutely had to win, he did.

i can't say for sure that kimi wasn't to blame for what happened afterwards. maybe it was a lack of interest, although i personally don't think so, i think he experienced the ferrari cycle of blame. ferrari had a great car in 2007/2008 but the car wasn't amazing after that. but ferrari has never been fully capable of admitting their own faults. the car wasn't as good as it had been during their dominance eras, stefano domenicali was not as good a leader as jean todt, and instead of looking at their internal structure and the people who had left (or been fired in the case of nigel stepney, which was fair) they decided to blame kimi for not performing. mclaren signed jenson button over him and he spent some time doing rally before returning with lotus in 2012.

lotus kimi was also kind of insane. nobody thought that the car would be that good, and kimi supposedly had a clause written into his contract saying that he would receive something like 50,000 dollars bonus for every point he scored. he scored so many points that year that he apparently nearly bankrupted the team, and there's a rumour that he didn't compete in the final two races to save them money (i believe the official story was that he had a back injury).

kimi then eventually went back to ferrari, which is where he got his final wins. he truly was one of the most incredible drivers in f1 history. there are multiple drivers with more wins and championships than him that don't have half of his talent but got luckier with cars and competitors. i think he also proved to an extent that drivers could be themselves and still be popular. he said once in an interview that it was hard the first few years when the team and pr people were trying to force him to be something and someone that he wasn't, but after he refused enough times they eventually gave up. and the person that kimi was, blunt, self interested, uncaring of social niceties and pr speak, was someone that the public really liked and got behind.

however, i can't in good conscience talk about kimi like this without also talking about some very major faults. he has been accused of sexual assault by a woman (he in turn accused her of trying to extort him), and he has reportedly used nazi or neo-nazi symbols in his merchandising, which is something that i personally cannot ignore.