#enhasrii

[enhasrii]

CRUSH • LEE HEESEUNG

Pairing: lee heeseung x female reader

Synopsis: Admiring someone you love is like gazing at a masterpiece; every glance reveals new depths of beauty and wonder, leaving you in awe of the artistry that is their essence and that's exactly how you feel for lee heeseung.

Word count: 1210

Genre: school au, crush!heeseung, young people in love, crush au, fluff, romance.

Warnings: just reader(me) being simp for lee heeseung. kissing, not on lips though. Biker heeseung in the end. one curse word. haerin of newjeans, eunchae of le sserafim, garam former mem of le sserafim mentioned.

NOTE : first post on Tumblr:) kinda nervous if anyone would even read it tbh.

PLAY: daydreamin' by ariana grande

The sound of the school bell could be heard in the crowded hallway as students talked among themselves before hurrying to their classes upon hearing it. Before moving away from you and heading to her own classroom, the girl you were speaking with waved her hand. You waved back.

just as you turned around your face collide with something, or rather someone. You assumed that their chest was what you bumped into. (Fortunately, you did not stumble too much.)

"I'm so sorry. I wasn't—" your words got stuck in your throat as you faced the person.

Lee Heeseung

In all of his glory, Lee Heeseung was standing in front of you. the morning sun kissing his skin. his flawlessly natural disheveled hair resting slightly above his eyes on his forehead. His brown eyes are staring into yours. A smile that resembles a smirk forms on his gorgeous lips.

You stand there staring at each other for a few seconds or longer before you tell yourself to stop losing yourself in your crush's gaze.

Now that you were no longer lost in his eyes—

his oh so gorgeous eyes. the way they always have spark in them. his Bambi eyes. He's so beautifu—

wait- Y/n this isn't time to get lost in him. You remind yourself.

You averte your gaze from him. —now that you weren't lost in his eyes, you suddenly feel nervous. There was not a perticular reason as to why you feel nervous around him.

His presence was enough to make you nervous.

Everyone feels nervous around their crushes, right?

Before you get the chance to speak Heeseung beat you to it "careful, princess" he's heavenly voice call out. the endearment name causing the butterflies in your stomach to go wild. you look at him one last time before nodding and sprinting towards your classroom.

you were the last person to arrive at class, as you expect. You sat besides your best friend, haerin. The aforementioned girl did not even raise her head from her notebook. You give her a glance before giving her a shoulder tap. She observes you. As a silent greeting, you smile and wave your hand. She gives you a quick smile of her own before returning to her studies.

You are accustomed to it because that was typical Haerin behavior.

The professor soon arrived and began the lesson, which you could not understand, but it was okay because you had Haerin, so she would explain things to you later.

She breaks down these tedious lessons into understandable chunks so you can ace every test and pass with a "A."

You yawn with sheer boredom.

Lee Heeseung is someone you wish you could take a class with so you could just admire and gaze at his beautiful form. However, your bad luck because he was a year ahead of you.

When recess time rolled around, you found yourself in the school cafeteria with Haerin and your other female friends, Garam and Eunchae. These two were in the middle of an argument when Garam asserted that she was older than artificial intelligence, or rather, AI, and Eunchae was trying to convince her that AI had existed long before she was born. (You and haerin can end the their banter by saying eunchae is right but chose not to. this was funny to you)

Your gaze stray before settling on Lee Heeseung, who is seated a few tables away from you with his friends.

God, even just sitting there, he looks so ethereal. He was laughing over something his friend had said. He has such a lovely smile. the way his eyes crinkle. Ah he would be the death of me—

It was not until Lee Heeseung made eye contact with you that you realised you were staring. His brow lifts, and a small smirk forms on his lips. you were unable to resist your eyes automatically locking onto his lips. Your eyes dart back to his, which were now glimmering with playful teasing. Your heart pounding in your chest, almost like it wants to burst. You avert your gaze from him.

Lee heeseung is so fucking perfect for his own good.

Everyone says that once you leave school And graduate, you'll miss your high school life but you don't think so. School is boring. Like what do you mean you have to get up early in the morning just for boring lessons and tests?

If it were not for Lee Heeseung, you would not even bother to come to school.

(Just kidding. You are concerned about education and attendance.)

The primary reason, though, would be Lee Heeseung.

Just like that the last ringing of the day could be heard indicating that you can leave school now. Hufff finally.

You bid your friends goodbye as they did the same. You proceed toward the exit gate.

You ventured outside and followed a similar path until you saw a familiar figure leaning on a bike. awaiting your arrival.

Lee Heeseung.

He said, "Hey princess," holding out his hand for you to take, and you did once you were close enough.

Your brown iris shyly peering into his dark, beautiful one. Your mouth quivering into a tiny, uncontrollable smile. You say "hii" in return.

Your hands, which you were unaware were on his chest, slide up towards his neck as his one arm slides down to your slender waist. With his hand around your waist, he pulled you into his eagerly anticipated, firm yet cozy embrace.

Breathing in your cent that drives him crazy, he closed his eyes. His hand caressing the back of your head, mindlessly stocking your silky hair. He can feel his heart thumping in sync with yours as if they've realize they were closer to the one they desire. His lips gently brushing the top of your head, planting a kiss.

Your insides flutter at what he did. You feel yourself falling for your lee heeseung a little bit more.

you slightly looks up at him. Your eyes meeting his for mere few seconds as you cannot, for your life, hold his gaze. You get on your toes to shyly press kiss to the area of his jaw you could reach with your short height.

He encircles you with slightly tighter arms.

You both stay like that for few more moments, not wanting to pull away just yet, before pulling away from the embrace. His hands finding yours.

Saying "common baby," he assisted you in donning the helmet before he pulled you toward his bike.

You firmly wrapped your arms around his waist from behind once you had both get comfortable on his bike. As he starts the bike, you feel the warm wind against you.

You rest your head on his back, closing your eyes.

You feel heated by the heat emanating from his body, so even though the winds are getting colder over time, it does not affect you.

Gosh You love and adore times like this one with him, or you simply adoree him so much that you value and cherish and love every moment you spend with him.

You just love Lee heeseung so much.

© enhasrii, 2024, Do not repost or copy in any way.

NOTES, COMMENTS AND REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED.

[zhaobear]

Heya. Can I be added to your taglist pls?

yes of course!! so sorry for the late reply i will add you <3

[thatfeelinwhenyou]

SMOKE SCREENS & CIGARETTES — lee heeseung (m)

How does it feel to be the you that has abandoned the façade of living up to the expectations of others, venturing into the uncharted territories of your inner truth, and exploring the new horizons of what it means to be truly and completely you?

IN WHICH; a popular girl uncovers the smart goody-two-shoes is, in fact, living a double life.

word count: 50.4k 💀

pairing: collegestudent!heeseung x collegestudent!fem!reader

featuring: enhypen, yunjin sakura and chaewon from lesserafim etc.

genre: college au, ANGST, family drama, corporate drama, young adult, friends to lovers, slice of life

warnings: this story contains usage of strong language, references to addictive behaviours (drinking/smoking), depiction of emotional and physical abuse, FAMILY DRAMA, and slight sexual content (no detailed smut). reader discretion is advised. minors please do not interact.

disclaimer: this is a work of pure fiction. If any context is similar to any other stories, it's either inspired (in which credit will be given) or just a coincidence. the characters' personalities, words, actions and thoughts do not represent them in real life. any resemblance to any real life events or person, present or past, are purely coincidental. i apologise in advance for any spelling or grammar mistakes. had to split this into 2 parts because of the block limit (L tumblr).

this is really important: while reading there will be images. do NOT click into them and scroll in the possibility that you scroll too far and spoil yourself. if possible and capable, i suggest really finding the time to sit down and read it all in one setting. i know the word count is pretty horrendous but trust. also it's gonna take you forever to find where you stopped LOL. i didn't intend for it but this gives a little kindred vibes in terms of circumstances. i guess i have issues 🤷‍♀️

tags: #tfwy smokescreens&cigarettes #tfwy au

perm taglist. @hajimelvr @s00buwu @urmomssneakylink @bubblytaetae @mrchweeee @artstaeh @sleeping-demons @yuviqik @junsflow @blurryriki @hueningcry @fakeuwus @enhaslxt @neocockthotology @katarinamae @ilovejungwonandhaechan @mitmit01

taglist. @sumzysworld @yangarden333 @jayhoonvroom @winter-berries @rayofsunshineeee @aubaee @lolznoelle @riribelle @heegyuwrld @jiyeons-closet @alisonyus @seokseokjinkim @enhasrii @tya0 @milkycloudtyg

part one | part two

Copyright© 2024 thatfeelinwhenyou All Rights Reserved

[frost-queen]

🅵🆁🅸🅴🅽🅳 🅾🆁 🅵🅾🅴 // part 7 (Reader x Young-il / player 001)

Forever tag:@floatlosers, @alex–awesome–22  @merlieve , @wildiefleur , @m-rae23 , @harleyquinnswifeyfrfr, @venomsvl, @evilcr0ne , @vviolynn

@erikasurfer , @slythetic,@p0nycurtis, @anjautembear, @noiyaaa, @filmedbyharkness , @uniquecutie-puffs, @r3va-dwme, @annasnape7, @starkeyszn, @bonelessghoul, @carrotjuicepdf, @imenekiki, @gay4hotmilfs, @yummycement, @sooyasya, @nerdytif, @hollxe1, @venavanup, 

@love-zami, @formula1love, @coruja12345, @ingstadstarlight, @samanthadegaro, @sweetheartlizzie07, @enhasrii, @lokiscure, @esposadomd, @hanta-seros-wifey, @verouys , @p1ckld3r, @thelastemzy , @Iglily, @hanakokunzz , @lovelifeyolo18 , @dumbestchaos, @watasinekoru , @bloooooopblopblop, @mrsyixingunicorn10 , @kyxmlii , @angelofthorr , @carolinevoight , @ooddiieesblog

Summary: With a fight at hand, you do not need to go through it alone. When the chaos settles in the main room, a mission starts. Unsure who would come back... alive... [series]

A sudden hand over your mouth, made your eyes widen. Reacting with muffled sounds against the hand. A face becoming clear in the dark. Young-il as he brought his finger to his lips. Telling you to be quiet.

His hand motioned for you to slowly get up. Pushing your elbows deep into the matrass, you set yourself up. Young-il’s hand still over your mouth. Deafening any breaths coming from you. He moved a bit out of the way so you could sway your legs over the edge. As you did, he looked over his shoulder.

Focusing for a moment on something behind him. You tried squinting your eyes. Trying to make something out in the darkness. Young-il turned back to look at you. Bringing his finger to his lips once more. Making it clear to you. You nodded watching him slowly remove his hand from over your mouth.

You let yourself slide out of the bed, coming to stand on the in between platforms. Feeling a warmth against your hand, you looked down. Young-il’s hand sliding in, taking a hold of it. He gestured for you to lower yourself.

Ducking down, you felt the tug on your hand. A tug that he was guiding you downwards. As silently as possible. It was dark. Too dark to make out anything remotely convenient. Yet that didn’t took away the sounds. Hearing subtle movements of people leaving their beds.

Gi-hun had warned you all of a war. You hoped it wouldn’t be true. Yet here you were going into hiding to not die an unfortunate death. Young-il went down first, holding his arms out to you. Grabbing the bar above your head, you came sitting down. Legs over the edge.

Stretching them out to find sturdy ground before you fully would let go. Your feet tapping in air to find ground. Two arms went around your waist, lifting you a bit up. You let go of the bar above you. Being silently lowered. Your feet touching vast ground once more.

Young-il’s face becoming a bit clear in your vision. Feeling yourself get shy at how close his face actually was with his. His hands still clear on your hips. His hands slid off, taking your hand once more. Ducking down, you manoeuvred the lowest parts with him.  

Making out some faint figures underneath the lowest beds while you walked past. Young-il pushed you forwards by your hand. Making you stand in front of him. Grabbing you by both your shoulders as he pushed down on it. You sunk through your knees, automatically.

He kept pushing you down. Holding a hand on top of your head as you crawled into your hiding place. His hand bumping against the underside of the bed briefly. Rather his hand then your head. You came laying down under the bed with a shuddering breath. Eyes widening when another figure came joining you.

Young-il lowering himself. Pushing you aside to create more room underneath the bed for him. With wide eyes you scooted over, allowing him to join you. You hadn’t thought he would came joining you. You rather thought he would find a new hiding place. Young-il’s shoulder was touching yours as it made your breathing shiver.

Young-il turned to look at you, quirking his eyebrow up at you. Letting you know to lower your breathing. Nervously you covered up your mouth. Trying to steady your breathing against your hand. Trying to not make it as loud as it was. Heart pounding loudly in your chest.

You nearly jumped out of your skin when an arm came sliding over your back. Nearly bumping your head against the bed. Feeling the weight of it on your back. Making you look to the side, feeling a slight poke in your side. Young-il’s hand pressed against your side.

You heard him inhale deep, fist pressed deep into your side. A deafened yelp escaped your mouth as he shoved you closer to him. Locking his arm firm around you. Sudden close footsteps made you stare straight forwards. Seeing white sneakers reflect into the darkness. It was true. Chaos was about to erupt. O voters were about to attack X voters.

You tried very hard not to think if you had never came to known Gi-hun. You might have been one of them. Sleeping unaware before they would meet their fate. The footsteps hastened, becoming loud. You had to supress a squeal when their groans announced their arrival. The first screams joining in seconds later. Loud shouting echoing through the room. Shouting of pure hatred. Resentments.

You whimpered against your hand, hearing the stab sounds. Stab after stab getting punctured into flesh. Blood splattering out. Your gaze went a bit to the side, seeing Gi-hun under the bed. His expression stern. Trying not to react or help out. You knew it must feel like torture for him. Knowing he couldn’t save everyone.

A loud thud made you jump out of your skin. Eyes staring widely back at the person’s leg. A pool of blood slowly drooling underneath them. Their face was not in your sight as they laid with their legs towards you. One straight, the other crooked in a hook.

Making yourself as silent as possible, you lowered your head, looking down at the ground. Eyes shut firmly. The screams and shouts becoming more violent as you couldn’t handle it. Body shuddering with fear at the massacre above you. Two steady hands found a way to your ears, gently pressing on them. Young-il. He was covering up your ears to deafen out the screams.

He seemed unfazed by it all. Somewhere you were glad he had come joining you. Unsure if you could’ve remained so silent without him by your side. Turning your head, you came leaning against him. Needing to touch him for comfort. To know he could calm you.

Young-il’s body moved a bit, scooting closer to you. Trying to focus on your own heartbeat, you wanted to ignore the violence around you. People getting slaughtered all for money. Once they figured the money kept counting when people died outside of the games, it was a turning point. For once, you wanted the pink suits to come.

For once you were anticipating their arrival. Almost beggingly for them to come and end this. The worst of mankind getting out. All humanity lost. The lights flashed on as it made you open your eyes. That was the signal. Young-il removed his hands from over your ears. He watched several people make their way back to their side.

Knowing the pink suits would come in to settle the fight. To come and collect the dead. You also knew it was time for your friends to get in action. Young-il already started to move closer to the  edge. – “Young-il.” – you whispered out when he had crawled out, kneeling down to stay out of sight.

His gaze came locking with yours. – “Stay!” – he shout-whispered with a warning. You swallowed nervously with a nod. Watching him take off, leaving you alone underneath the bed. You saw several of your friends come lay down between the dead. The doors opening a few moments later. Pink suits with heavy machinery entering.

Circles and triangles. They reached the first dead, scanning their neck for their numbers. Sucking in a breath, you were too afraid to watch them get nearer to your friends. Their hands with the scanning device getting closer to their necks till. It happened in a flash.

They lifted their heads up, grabbing the pink suit’s hands as the other one beside them grabbed their guns. Claiming them as their own. Shots fired as pink suits dropped death. This time you were unable to withhold a soft squeal. The pink suits in front drew their weapons. Firing at them. Your friends firing back.

The doors locked as some pink suits retreated. Not letting the players find a way out. The remaining pink suits got killed in cold blood, expect for one. The chaos dying out, yet you felt frozen. Muscles contracted, unable to get in motion. – “Y/n.” – a voice spoke, making you gasp with a shuddering breath.

Jun-hee was kneeling beside your bed, holding a hand out to you. Letting you know the danger had past. Sniffing loud, you wiped some tears away. Crawling from underneath the bed. Taking her hand firm, you couldn’t help but look down at the dead. – “Don’t look at that Y/n!” – Gi-hun’s voice came through, making you look up.

Gi-hun moved to the centre of the room. – “I need more players that can handle a gun and are ready to fight!” – he shouted. Young-il was checking his gun as you let go of Jun-hee’s hand, running up to him.

You knew he was going to join. Knowing he couldn’t sit back and wait. – “Young-il!” – you called out, making him turn to you. Move the strap over his shoulder and push the gun to his back. – “I…” – you began at a sudden loss of words.

Not even sure what you were going to say. Staring pleadingly back at him. Brows slightly furrowed with a saddened smile. Young-il guided his hand to your cheek. – “I know.” – he responded, understanding the meaning of your look. Seeing the fear and worries in your eyes.

“Come back to me alive.” – you let out, giving him a soft punch against his chest. Letting him know you meant it. Young-il received the impact, rubbing his chest for a moment.  – “You… you better do so!” – you made clear, lip quivering at the thought.

Young-il’s hands cupped your cheek, lowering your head a bit. Remaining silent. You closed your eyes, trying hard not to cry when you felt his warm lips against your forehead. Moving your head back up, you gave him a saddened smile. He smiled back at you. Warmly. His thumb touching your chin in a loving way.

A last gesture before he came joining the others. Aligning up at the front. Taking a few steps back. Falling in line with Jun-hee. She took your hand, squeezing it tight. Hyun-ju gave you a comforting nod. You smiled back at her, feeling very confident with her around. Just a small group they were. Most of them existing off your friends.

Hyun-ju, Gi-hun, Dae-ho, Jung-bae and Young-il. Leading the mission to go and confront the maker of the games. Dae-ho gave you a comforting nod before following the others outside. Gi-hun shoving the remaining pink suit forwards. For now you had to do was wait.

You returned to the beds with Jun-hee. Geum-ja and her son siting with you. Geum-ja was trying to take everyone’s mind of it. Trying very hard not to think about what they were doing out there. You couldn’t listen to her. A feeling in your stomach, nauseating as you couldn’t stop looking away from the door.

Jun-hee placed her hand on your knee to get your attention. – “Y/n.” – you slowly turned your head at the sound of your name. Jun-hee giving you a comforting smile. –“They will be alright.” – she reassured you. – “What if… what if they are not…” – you responded. Feeling like you were slowly your mind over it. She locked her arm through yours, letting her head lay on your shoulder.

“They will.” – she whispered, locking eyes with a boy you hadn’t noticed before. Turning your head, you began to stare at the spot where Young-il mostly sat. Seeing fragments of memories before your eyes. The stares, his hand on your knee. The comforting words. How you would fight with him over gimbap. All making you curl up a smile.

Sensing your heart was beating faster at just the thought. Nearly making you want to squeal and kick your feet out of excitement. Sensing that something had nestled deep within your heart that had his name on it. Young-il. The man that saved you from an irritating Thanos and Nam-Gyu that couldn’t stop bothering you. Now he surely had to survive. For you.

A sudden sound made you turn your head. Seeing a frantic Dae-ho rush inside. It made you get up, letting go of Jun-hee’s hand. Dae-ho was looking frantically around. Exhaling loud as he dived to one of the pink suits. Searching every pocket possible. You came running down to meet him.

“Dae-ho!” – you called out. He wouldn’t hear you, searching with trembling hands. – “Dae-ho!” – you repeated grabbing him by his cheeks, turning his head to you. The moment his eyes locked with yours, he seemed to calm down a bit. Panting loud as you noticed the sweat on his forehead. – “What is it… what do you need?” – you asked taking the hint he needed something.

Dae-ho sniffed loud, wiping some sweat away. – “Munition… I need more munition.” – he outed with a tremble. You nodded, looking back at the others. They understood with one nod. Getting up in search for ammo.

You lowered your hands, searching the pink suit’s pockets with calmness. Taking out the ammo and handing it over to Dae-ho. He nodded reassuringly. You got up, going over to the next dead one for ammo. Collecting them all on Dae-ho’s jacket. He picked it up, holding it close to his chest. Running back up to the door.

Standing there, hesitating. With the door open, you could hear some faint screams and shouts from up here. Dae-ho visibly shaking on his knees. Shuddering out breaths. Then he came running back. Back to you. – “Dae-ho!” – you called out as he ran past you. Straight to the beds to go in hiding.

Sharing a brief glance with Jun-hee, you went after him. – “Dae-ho!” – you said coming to join his side. He was cramped up against the wall, sobbing loudly. – “Dae-ho.” – you moved a hand on his knee, trying to understand what was happening.

“I….I’m sorry Y/n…” – Dae-ho cried out. – “I…I…I can’t…” – he breathed out, looking in shame away from you. You shushed him, wrapping your arm around him. Dae-ho shuddering in your embrace, letting his head rest against your shoulder. – “It’s alright…” – you responded, locking eyes with Geum-ja.

Seeing how she had much worry in her eyes. If he was staying here, they wouldn’t get the extra ammo they clearly needed. You knew that. Clearly Dae-ho was suffering from a normal human reaction. Fright. He was frightened and you couldn’t blame him.

He wrapped his arms around you, crying loudly into your embrace. – “I’m sorry…. I’m sorry…” – he kept repeating with guilt. You shushed him stroking his back in a comforting way.

Geum-ja got up, seeing Hyun-ju had entered the room, panting loud. She moved closer to the centre. Hyun-ju running up to her. – “Where is he?!” – she shouted loud in a hurry. Geum-ja pointed behind her. Hyun-ju ran up the stairs, finding Dae-ho sobbing in your arms.

“Unnie!” – you called out in surprise. Hyun-ju knelt down, taking Dae-ho by his jacket. – “Where is the ammo!” – she wanted to know. Dae-ho lowered his jacket to reveal the ammo with a quivering lip. Hyun-ju took the jacket from him, ready to run back when Geum-ja grabbed her by the shoulder.

“No… please… stop…” – she called out hearing the pink suits marching. They were approaching. Getting closer to the doors. Hyun-ju exhaled loud, staring back at Geum-ja. The doors opened as several pink suits walked out. She hid the guns, remaining at your side.

All of you got up, curious and wary of what they might do. Would they kill everyone alive in the room? No perhaps not for if they did the games were over. You moved closer down the platforms, Hyun-ju holding you by back by her hand.

The pink suits remained stationed. Still. The room filled with a tensed silence. No one dared to speak or utter a breath. Afraid of the consequences. They remained. Watching. Observing. Hesitating. Till after what felt like an eternity, they moved. Parting. Making way for someone to pass.

Two pinks suits came walking through, holding a person by his arms. Gi-hun. He was in distress. Squirming and crying against their grip. They were dragging him closer to the centre. A stress crept up your chest. Making your palms sweaty and knees buckling. A nauseating feeling overwhelming you. Why was he alone.

---------------------------------------------

Read more of my fics on my Masterlists!

[thanosscross]

New Sneak peek of a story I've been working on <3 Presenting.. Dad! Choi Seung Hyun & Idol! Reader <3

As you'd start to grow in fame, your fans would take notice to certain similarities between you and another Idol, you'd be honored by their theories, with your style of music really ranging, it mainly had one common variant in each song, your ability to rap, being able to rap over 10.13 Syllables per second. The way they'd constantly swear T.O.P from BigBang was a long lost brother, or father, would always charm you, you'd look up to the rapper, especially with him basically setting the bar for any and all K-pop rappers, it was an extreme compliment for you to be compared to him.

You'd never meet T.O.P until your manager would pull him into your first stage rehearsal, it'd be three weeks before you first show, so everybody on your team was stressed, especially whenever you and your chorographer couldn't figure out what you'd do while rapping one of your verses. With rapping, it took a lot of air out of you, especially trying to keep your pitch and keep up with the backtracks, so you couldn't move much, if you'd jump around, run, or dance, you'd surely run out of air before the verse ended, but you also couldn't just stand there. "Y/n! Our little Aein! This is T.O.P, I'm sure you know of him, he's going to help your little problem" YG would cheer, introducing you both before disappearing again into the hall, most likely going to check on other idols and trainees. "Hello, you can just call me Seung Hyun, it's a pleasure to meet you, I've heard you in the studio before, you're rapping is crazy" He smiled, laughing a bit as you both bowed in sync with each other "Nice to meet you! I'm y/n, but you know that" You smiled softly before backing up slightly as your choreographer took over the conversation, as you watched the two converse, you couldn't brush off the feeling of familiarity towards the man, but you couldn't quite place it.

--

What do we think lovelies? don't worry there's still a dad! Ji-Yong coming as well <33

-

taglist!!

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[bread-crum206]

Will there be smut in the series?…

Idk yet… what do you guys think?

A Game of Hearts tag list:

@sunny21200

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@shakysif

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[simjaexy]

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loving you is forever ⋆˚ʚɞ

pairing: lee heeseung x reader 𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ ♡

synopsis: after a one night stand leaves you with a lasting memory of the boy you left behind in the name of your daughter, heejin. you finally decide that it was time to move back home to south korea after living abroad for the last 5 years. reuniting with your old friends was everything you could've wished for as they welcomed you and your daughter; but you don't think you could ever prepare yourself to face the father of your child.

warnings: profanity, kissing, suggestive, mentions of hooking up/one night stands, drinking, characters are in their late 20s, absent father!heeseung (but its not his fault) implying that they didn't use a condom (wrap it up!!), overall 18+

genre: single mom!reader x heeseung, old friends to lovers, kind of exes to lovers, one night stand, angst, romance, drama, hurt/comfort, slow burn-ish

wc: 16558 (idk what happened i swear i blanked out writing this)

hoonieyun notes: she's finally here djfkd it took so long to finish this because i didn't want to rush it and feel like i just had to get it done to get it done. i really hope you all enjoyed this piece of work, i loved writing it and i just want to say: happy valentine's day!! you are all so deserving to be loved and surrounded by those who love you <3

the days of being in seoul, south korea felt just like yesterday when you were a college student awake at 3am eating a hot bowl of ramen after a long night of studying. ramen was your favorite thing back then but as you’ve gotten older, the days of being a broke college student turned into meticulous routine based days where all your focus went to raising your daughter, heejin. 

ramen was your favorite, past tense. 

you cut the habit of eating ramen so often because you needed to choose healthier options for yourself, setting an example for your daughter that although convenient and inexpensive, eating instant ramen so often wasn’t the healthiest for you. 

even though you were her mom, your daughter taught you a lot and you were constantly learning as you grew together. she taught you new habits that made living better like learning to take it easy and lounging around the house with your favorite snacks while watching your favorite show was the best way to clear your head and relax. 

you also learned that your previous lifestyle of putting others over yourself was something that would stay with you as you’d do anything for your daughter even if it meant that you sacrifice things that are meant for you if it means that your daughter would have what she wanted. 

the air when stepping outside of the airport is crisp, the snow has melted into a thin layer of water coating the ground and it’s slightly cold but nothing a puffer coat couldn’t fix. you looked over to your daughter who was fiddling with the zipper on her own puffer coat, “bambi, you have to keep your jacket on or you’ll get sick.” you softly tell your daughter as you crouch down to her level, zipping her coat back up and adjusting the hood of her hoodie that she had layered under. she pouts to herself but ultimately knows better than to argue because she knows mom is right and because she hates being sick. 

when heejin was 4 years old, she had gotten a cold for the first time and although she enjoyed being at home cuddled up under a fuzzy blanket with her favorite plush toy; she hated having a runny nose and being forced to take the yucky medicine, her words not yours– although you agree. 

your phone rings and karina’s contact photo lights up on the screen, “hi, yn! i’m here, what pick-up area are you at?” she asks on the other end of the phone, slightly louder than usual so you assume she’s yelling into her car’s built in phone call feature to avoid having to drive with her phone in her hand. you tell her that you’re at arrivals 12 and soon enough you can see karina driving up to you and heejin in her silver suv. karina is your best friend, sister even, you have known each other since you were little, even though she was only a few months older than you she was often that older sister you never had, guiding you through new experiences together and you just wished that when you grew up together, you realized sooner that she was also navigating those new experiences alongside you. 

“yn!! it’s been so long!!!” karina cheers as she steps out of her car, rounding the vehicle to give you a warm hug, rocking the two of you side to side as you wrap your own arms around her. “been too long.” she says, emphasizing the words like you were away for a long time. in a lot of ways you were. 5 years is a lot of time away from someone but to you those 5 years went by so much faster.

“is this heejin?” she asks, crouching down to your daughter so she can greet the child. “hi heejin, im aunt karina but you can call me rina, ok?” she says, softly shaking heejin’s small hand with two fingers. “hi auntie rina!” heejin says happily, throwing her hands into the air with a smile. 

your daughter was probably the most cheerful and joyful child you’ve ever met. she never threw fits, rarely cried after the age of 2, and was very social with strangers. flashing her cute smile that would instantly melt stranger’s hearts garnering you a, “such a cute baby!” every time they’d see her. 

karina stands back up straight and helps you pack your luggage into her trunk, “is this all you brought?” she asks and you explain that you didn’t want to pack too many things because moving with a lot of belongings would make it difficult. you had only flown with 4 suitcases and had 2 boxes shipped over from your old home. opting to only take what truly was important and other material things could simply just be repurchased. 

you and karina share another hug before strapping your daughter into her carseat and taking a seat into the passenger side of the car. you and karina catch up like no time has passed, acting like you two were only separated for a few days when in reality it was 5 years. of course the two of you spoke on the phone every now and then while you were abroad but the time difference interfered. 

“how was seattle? do you miss it already?” she asks and you have to think about the question. do you miss seattle? or were you happy to be back. 

“i'm not sure to be honest. i don’t think ive been away long enough to miss it yet.” you simply say and she nods, “well i know you must’ve seoul. i know we missed you.” she says, glancing over to you 

you smile at her remark and tell her that you’ve missed korea and her a lot. those 5 years in seattle went by fast because of your daughter but being away from all of your friends and even your parents was tough. you stayed with your aunt and uncle who lived in seattle who so kindly opened their home for you and 2 years after giving birth to heejin, you had enough saved up to get the two of you a small but perfect 1 bedroom apartment. it was enough for the two of you but to your daughter it was like she was living in a castle; and that’s all that mattered– knowing your daughter was happy. 

“you ok?” karina asks and you’re brought back to reality. “yeah, just reminiscing i guess.” you respond and karina chuckles. 

“don’t tell me you’re already thinking about going back? you can’t leave just yet, i’m not letting you go.” karina retorts and the two of you burst out into laughter. you reassure her that you weren’t going to leave korea any time soon and that you’d have ample amount of time together to catch up and make so many more memories. 

“plus, i’ve got 5 years to catch up with my favorite niece. right, heejin?” she asks, looking over to your daughter in the rearview mirror. “yes aunty rina!” heejin says cheerfully. you laugh at them both and give karina a funny look, “she’s your only niece dude.” you say and karina shrugs, “and? she’s still my favorite!”. 

the rest of the car ride is filled with more chit chatting and laughing, happy that the two of you are finally reunited and that you weren’t separated by thousands of miles. soon enough karina is pulling up to your home and she’s quite impressed. while living in the states you had saved enough money to purchase a beautiful home here in seoul. 

it’s not the biggest but it has everything you need for you and your daughter. it has 2 rooms and 2 bathrooms, an office space for your work, a big living room with enough space for your daughter to run around in and a backyard for the same reasons. you were happy to have gotten to this point in your life and you were so happy to have a life like this with your daughter. 

karina doesn’t stay long after dropping you off, only staying to help you bring in your things, and do a small tour of your home. “i promise i’ll come back tomorrow! i’ve just got some things i need to finish for work.” she explains and you let her know that it’s fine and thank her endlessly for picking up you and your daughter from the airport. you and heejin wave her goodbye as she drives away. 

you walk back inside still carrying heejin on your hip. “alright, bambi. it’s just you and me, and our new home.” you say softly and heejin smiles at you. 

“just you and me mama!” she says and it makes you smile as you nuzzle your nose with hers. 

⋆˚ʚɞ

the next few days are filled with unpacking boxes, waiting for deliveries of furniture and food, and exploring the neighborhood and town. your car was delivered on your 2nd day back in seoul so thankfully you didn’t have to wait around at home or feel guilty of asking karina to drive you around places since she had her own fair share of responsibilities. 

your other friends have asked you when they could come visit, especially your cousin; jay– who said, “i can’t believe you let karina see my niece and she’s not even blood!” when he found out karina met your daughter before your cousin. 

karina was like your sister but jay was actually blood. jay is your cousin on your mom’s side and you had stayed with his parents while living in seattle until you were able to get a place of your own. he’s a few years younger than you but he was always the wiser of the two of you; he was like the angel on the shoulder of life while you were the devil– however you weren’t evil… just chaotic. 

you, jay, and karina all grew up together so you all had a bond that's unbreakable. people often made comments about how jay was the gentleman he is because of all the women he grew up around and you’d agree. he was the kindest and most mature boy you know and even when he loosened up a bit and got chaotic like you, he was always the level-headed and mature jongseong at the end of the day. 

when you would sneak out with boys in high school, jay would cover for you. 

when you got in trouble for getting a C- on your chemistry exam, jay vouched for you and said that the chemistry teacher at your high school was sexist and punished all the girls in the class. 

when you found out you were pregnant, jay was the first person you called and was right by your side every step of the way up until you were boarding the plane to seattle. 

jay was your rock and you wished he was your brother but a cousin would suffice just as long as he was always there for you. 

you’re about 90% moving into your new home, the last thing that needs to be completed was just tossing out all of the trash and recycling that has accumulated from all of the items you bought or takeout that you’ve been getting so you didn’t have to worry about cooking for the first week of moving back. 

you’ve invited jay over for dinner after he’s insisted on cooking dinner for you and your daughter, claiming that he wants to make a good impression on his niece so he wasn’t necessarily going to take no as an answer, and honestly– a home cooked meal by jay sounded nice. he was a great cook, excellent even, you? not so much. 

you knew how to cook a variety of things but most of it was out of convenience so that you weren’t always eating takeout. your daughter was simple when it came to her taste buds and favorite foods, 80% of the time she just wants to eat chicken and thankfully she doesn’t complain much about having to eat vegetables. however, never brussel sprouts. she hates brussel sprouts. 

it’s around 5PM when you’ve finished putting all of your trash bags outside, giving you just a half hour to freshen up your daughter and you before jay would be arriving. he felt apologetic for not being able to help you move in but you told him that he had nothing to feel sorry for and that you knew he had a busy schedule ever since he took over his dad’s company at the beginning of the year. jay’s dad owned a construction company in seoul and although jay had different passions like music and fashion, he was the type of child to never refuse his parent’s wishes and eventually accepted that he would become the owner when he grew up so there was no point in arguing with his dad. 

he was an only child so it was hard not to feel bad for him and see that he had so many things he wanted to do for his life but was often shortsighted and left responsible for whatever his parents wanted because he was their only child. 

that was probably why you often felt like you needed to bring jay out of shell and loosen up a bit. being so caught up with the responsibilities he had at home, you wanted to make sure that he still had fun as a teenager because his life as an adult was already planned out for him. 

when jay turned 16 you spent all of your christmas money on a guitar he had been talking about for months. jay rarely cried but you remember the pure joy and gratitude in his eyes when he unwrapped the box and saw the familiar leather case he had seen so many times at the guitar shop. you swore you could see his eyes glow from excitement when he unclasped the guitar case and finally saw the instrument on the inside. the fender eric clapton stratocaster electric guitar shined onto his face and you’d never forget the smile on his face as he set aside the guitar next to him so he could get up and give you a hug. telling you how grateful he was and that no one would know how much that gift meant to him besides you. 

after changing yourself and your daughter into a fresh pair of clothes, jay was ringing your doorbell. he barely greets you when you answer the door, placing the bags of ingredients into your arms when you open them for a hug and instead he runs into your home to scoop up his niece into his arms. 

“jinjin!” jay says as he carries her above his head. a nickname they both came up with whenever they’d facetime. 

“uncle jayjay!” she says, giggling at him as he gently tossed her into the air and hugged each other. “yeah i’m here too y’know!” you say, narrowing your eyes at your cousin as you put the bag of groceries down onto your kitchen counter. 

“yn-ieee!!” jay says, setting your daughter down onto the counter next to the groceries and giving you a hug of your own. “been so long cousin!” he says and you hum in agreement. 

“well it’s not like you couldn’t come visit me in seattle!” you say teasingly and jay rolls his eyes, “oh, please! you wouldn’t even let me no matter how hard i tried– plus you know how busy i got after dad passed over the company.” he says and although he didn’t mean it in that way, you felt a slight tinge of guilt. 

“i know, i know jong, just teasing. i missed you.” you say, hugging him again but this time ruffling his hair like you used to do when you were younger. 

“so what’s on the menu today, chef?” you ask as you help him unpack the groceries. 

“yeah, uncle. jinjin hungry!” your daughter says and you and your cousin laugh at your daughter’s remark. as she’s gotten older and has begun watching toddler shows, she’s picked up on their habits of speaking in 3rd person. 

“well, jinjin. uncle jayjay is going to make you ravioli and meatballs. sound good?” he asks, staring at your daughter with a box of ravioli pasta in his hand. 

“ravioli?” she asks and jay nods.

“right, you’re 5; you don’t know what that is.” he mutters and you just chuckle. 

“come on, heejin. why don’t we set up the table while uncle cooks, hmm?” you ask and she nods eagerly– always excited to be a part of the activity in some way or another just as long as she’s included. 

“i want the pink plate!” heejin says as she raises her arms so you could pick her up off the counter and set her on the ground. while you and heejin were at ikea shopping for home supplies, she saw a pink plate with the face of a pig on the top and the tail on the bottom and just had to have it. and honestly, your daughter looked so cute looking at it that you couldn’t say no. as a matter of fact, the plate wasn’t even very expensive and it was cute so it wasn’t a hard decision to say yes. 

jay doesn’t take long to finish cooking dinner; knowing to choose something quick and easy to make so that he could feed the two of you and so he could have ample time to hang out with his niece. 

needless to say, heejin loved the ravioli and was completely baffled at how they got the cheese inside of the pasta– constantly asking jay how they did it as if it was some sort of magical spell to create a ravioli. 

after dinner is over and your daughter insists on dessert, the three of you enjoy some ice cream even though it’s still winter and with jay’s help in convincing you because “ice cream tastes good in every season”. you offered to wash the dishes since jay cooked you dinner and although he insisted on washing the dishes, you told him that it was okay since he could spend more time with his niece instead– to which he didn’t argue. 

the rest of the night was filled with giggles as jay got to hang out with his niece outside of a phone screen. learning so much about her and how similar he was to you. he even got the opportunity to put her to bed when she got sleepy after watching bambi, her favorite movie. 

“bambi, huh?” he asks after the two of you quietly slip out of her bedroom.

“yes… bambi. it’s her favorite movie so i nicknamed her bambi…” you respond, trying to avoid his stare. 

“no other reason?” he asks and you shoot him a glare. “alright alright. i’ll drop it. it’s a cute nickname anyway.” he confesses and you mutter a small thank you, thankful that he’s not prying any longer. 

“i know, she’s cute like a baby deer, what can i say?” 

you and jay find your way into the kitchen, putting away the dishes from the dishwasher and beginning a new topic of conversation. 

“does everyone know you’re back?” jay asks genuinely, not intending to allude to a certain person from your past. 

“yeah, karina and ningning know. i spoke to jake and hoon yesterday and i told them i’d come up with a day they could all come over for dinner.” you explain. 

you had a close friend group going into college. you, karina, and jay all grew up together and early during college you had met ningning, jake, sunghoon, and another… friend. 

the seven of you were inseparable and were always together despite having completely different college majors. you, ningning, and karina all moved in together for the last half of your college career while the guys did the same. you’re all older now and have all of your own lives but most of them kept in touch with you after you decided to move away all of a sudden. 

opting to not ask questions out of respect but always making sure to check up on you every once in a while. 

“should i reopen the groupchat? haven’t seen the silly seven back together in a while.” and just as fast as the words leave his mouth, jay regrets it just as fast. he notices you tense up a bit as you’re putting some dishes away into the cupboard and he realizes he’s made a mistake bringing up your original seven friend group. a certain member becomes a tainted memory inside of your heart that you wished to not remember but are forced to remember in the most endearing and loving way. 

someone you wished you could leave in the past but you’re glad you chose not to as the memory continues to live through your daughter. 

“um, i’ll let you know. i’ve got some things i need to finish up before i start reuniting fully with everyone– plus i still need to get heejin caught up on all of her medical stuff for school so…” you begin to say and jay catches on. 

“ahh, don’t worry about it! just got a bit excited to see everyone back together again. i’ll look forward to it when it comes.” jay says, softly rubbing your back and offering you a smile that you return. 

“thanks jay…” you mutter quietly as you try to avoid his gaze. 

⋆˚ʚɞ

after three weeks of being back home in korea, you’ve finally gotten somewhat of a routine down as you’ve settled into your new home and neighborhood. you’ve got pretty accustomed to being back in korea and although it’s only been five years since the last time you were here; a lot has changed within those five years. 

you’d wake up on weekdays around 6am to get your day started, making breakfast and your daughter's school lunch before you woke her up at 7am to get her ready for school. she hadn’t started school yet back in the states so you wanted to ensure that you enrolled her into school once you had settled into your home. 

she was surprisingly excited to start school and make new friends. her favorite part of kindergarten so far was break time when she and her classmates would spend 30 minutes a day at the playground. she’d come home with unruly hair opposite of the sleek bun or pigtails she had previously had when you dropped her off. 

when your daughter was at school you’d spend the day cleaning around the home, finishing up the last parts of your move that had to do with papers and legal stuff, and would spend the rest of the time before your daughter got off school to run errands like going to the market or getting used to driving around your neighborhood. 

it's about an hour before your daughter is off of school so you decide to quickly freshen up before heading over to pick her up. 

today, you had plans to have an early dinner with karina as you hadn’t seen her since you had gotten there so it was due time to catch up now that you’ve settled in for the most part. 

⋆˚ʚɞ

“where are we going, mama?” heejin asks as you help her into her car seat. “getting dinner with auntie rina, remember?” you remind your daughter and she cheers, excited that she gets to see her auntie rina again. 

“why are we eating early? i want chicken!” she says and you just chuckle at her. “ok, i’ll get you chicken, ok?” you say, kissing your thumb and putting it towards her and your daughter does the same, connecting your thumbs, at the same time the two of you turn your hands 180 degrees with your thumbs pointing downwards so that your hands make the shape of a heart.

it was a small gesture the two of you did, a small way to be connected with your daughter through a special handshake between mother and daughter. 

⋆˚ʚɞ

dinner was filled with laughter as you watched your daughter and karina bond over chicken, your daughter having the time of her life with all of the different flavors of chicken; her favorite being the cheese flavored one. 

“so, when are we getting the gang back together?” karina asks as she places another piece of chicken on heejin’s plate, the both of you watching your daughter pick up the piece of chicken and munch on it like her life depended on it. you tried to tiptoe around her question, afraid that it would only lead to the inevitable that you were constantly postponing. 

karina waves her hand in front of your face as she realizes you’ve somewhat spaced out and reiterates her question, “um.. i’m not sure. i really want to see everyone but you know..” your voice getting quiet at the end of your sentence as you realize only jay, your cousin, knew who heejin’s father was. 

your friends knew of your longtime crush on heeseung when you were all in college and all somewhat knew that you’ve avoided him because of some reason that you haven’t told them. there were theories amongst the friends of why you no longer spoke to heeseung but only jay knew the reason. your friends didn’t want to pry but curiosity always filled their minds whenever they would think about you or see the photos you posted online of you and your daughter. with all of the theories they came up with, no one seemed to put together the most obvious reason and you’d rather keep that way. 

it wasn’t that you didn’t want any of them to know, you just weren’t ready for them to know and aren’t entirely sure when you’d be ready. karina noticed your shift in behavior with her question and chose to ask any more questions. the rest of the dinner was karina giving you suggestions on things you and your daughter could do like activities, sports and extracurriculars, and whatnot. 

“i’ll see you soon, ok?” karina says while giving your daughter a warm hug. the two of you bid each other goodbye and go your separate ways. karina’s question weighs on your mind heavily as you drive home, thinking about how long you could keep this a secret from your friends and also hide the fact that you were back in town from heeseung who just seemed to constantly be on your mind since you’ve arrived back in korea. 

a part of you wanted to see him, you missed him so much, the way he made you laugh, the way he knew you so well that he used to always bring you breakfast during your 8am lectures because you loved to sleep in until the last minute so you never ate breakfast, the way he knew when you were sad, the way he knew you were uncomfortable, everything. 

he knew you so well but that night, that unfortunate night, it seemed that he was the person that knew you the least in the world. 

⋆˚ʚɞ

a few days after your dinner with karina and some encouragement from jay, you finally decided to send out invites to all of your friends to come over for dinner. your place was getting to a point where it was feeling like home and you wanted your daughter to meet some of the most important people in your life. you obviously weren’t going to invite heeseung but you thought about it and you quickly found yourself shutting down that idea. 

“hi guys! please let me know if you’re free this saturday around 6pm! i’d love for all of you to come over for dinner and meet heejin! if it’s okay could you all bring a small dish? heejin isn’t picky but she is allergic to fish so keep that in mind. she’s very excited to meet her uncles and aunties!”

karina: i’m always free for you! minjeong: i’ll bring the chicken hehe jake: lets goo!! can’t wait to meet little yn! sunghoon: i already know i’m gonna be her favorite uncle jay: yeah right i’m her favorite already, nice try bro

all of their responses made you smile and for once you weren’t stricken with the anxiety of the past and how all of this could crumble down onto you– but you were dedicated to not letting that happen. you missed your friends dearly and being surrounded by your loved ones you haven’t seen in years was long overdue. 

⋆˚ʚɞ

friday rolls around a lot sooner than you expected, which you didn’t mind because it was all you were looking forward to after spending the weekdays trying your best not to spiral. you were constantly thinking about what would happen if they brought up heeseung or if he miraculously showed up unannounced and uninvited. you made several dishes as the main course and set up your kitchen so that everyone could eat buffet style. 

there were rolls of kimbap that your daughter helped you prepare, tofu stew simmering low on the stove to keep it warm, and other food that you knew your friends and your daughter loved. 

as the day went by and the time that your friends would all slowly start arriving would come, you noticed that heejin seemed to be antsy. like something was bothering her, she was constantly squirming around unable to find a comfortable seat at the dinner table, the couch, or even her favorite bean bag chair designed to look like a peach. she was fidgeting with the hem of her dress so much to the point that she had pulled a loose thread, causing the dress to tear. you were more worried than upset, it was just a piece of fabric it didn’t matter if it broke, although you did keep a mental note not to buy from that store again; so you sat her down to talk about it. 

“bambi.. what’s wrong?” you asked her as you helped her change into new clothes, something she had chosen and although it was more casual than the previous attire she had on; she was way more comfortable in it. she shook her head with a pout, indicating she either didn’t want to talk about it or that there wasn’t anything wrong– and considering her actions moments ago, it was the latter. 

“you don’t have to tell me what’s wrong but just know mommy is here for you ok? i don’t want my little bambi to be sad or upset and feel like she can’t talk to mom about her problems..” you told her softly, fixing her hair as it had gotten slightly messed up while you dressed your daughter. heejin was everything to you, she was your life and blood, she was your light and you’d be damned if you ever made your daughter feel like she couldn’t fully be herself or come to her own mother to help her fix her problems. 

even though heejin was still young, you made sure to make an emphasis on communication with your daughter, teaching her to articulate her feelings and emotions in a way that was healthy to her and those around her– and for the most part, she did that. she often told you if she was uncomfortable or if she was feeling upset about something as small as her socks making her feel itchy– but right now; she wasn’t communicating to you why she was acting the way she was and it left you stumped. 

you weren’t necessarily sure how to go about it. you didn’t want to pressure your daughter to tell you what was wrong but the mother inside of you couldn’t continue without knowing what was bothering your daughter and how you could alleviate her troubles. “are you ok, heejin?” you ask and she once again shakes her head. 

“can you tell mom what’s bothering you?” you asked, lightly patting your daughter's head as you finished doing her hair. 

she looks up at you with her big doe eyes and for a second you see the uncanny resemblance of her and her father. “mama, who is my dad?” the question comes as a shock to you because although she had asked before, she’s never let the absence of her father trouble her the way it has now. your mouth slightly opens at her question but you quickly recollect yourself so she doesn’t notice your demeanor falter, afraid that your expression could cause her more worry if she was to realize how you reacted to her question. 

you so desperately wanted to comfort your daughter, tell her everything you knew about her father and how he lived only miles away; but you couldn’t bring yourself to do that. it may seem selfish, and it was, but you simply weren’t ready to have that conversation with your daughter. even if it broke your heart to see her pleading eyes begging you for a single crumb of information on her dad, you couldn’t do it. it caused you an immense amount of pain to deny your daughter something she seemed to want so badly. 

“bambi, why the sudden interest?” you ask and she goes on to explain that when she was waiting to get picked up from school that day, she saw all of her classmates getting picked up by their dads and it got her thinking of her own, more specifically, the absence of her own father. 

your heart broke even more at her words but you chose to give her the answer that you’ve given her several other times she asked in the past. 

“bambi, your papa may not be here but he’s always in your heart, ok?” and you were glad that it provided her some form of comfort because it seemed like she knew you were going to say that so she closed her eyes and gently placed her small hand over her heart. it was moments like this that made you question yourself as a mother. denying your daughter from someone who was half of her all because of your own selfish intention and pain that you aren’t able to heal from. 

the two of you share another tender moment as you engulf your daughter into your arms for a warm embrace and try your best to get her to smile, which was fairly easy as your daughter was very ticklish. 

just in time, your doorbell rings indicating that some of your friends have arrived so you decide to carry your daughter to your front door to greet everyone. you gently rub her back to further soothe her worries, hoping that the emotional and vulnerable moment the two of you just shared didn’t cause her anymore worries despite the fact that she still had that longing look in her eyes. waiting for the day she could get the answer she was looking for and the day she’d get to meet her dad. 

⋆˚ʚɞ

you’re carrying your daughter in your arms as you open the door to welcome your friends and all of their eyes light up at the sight of you and your daughter. one by one they file inside of your home with a dish in their hands, greeting you and heejin with bright warm smiles. you return with a smile of your own as heejin waves at the strangers entering your home who she will grow to learn are the aunts and uncles that would love her and support her as she grows older. 

once everyone has gotten inside, you point to where they could all settle the dishes they brought and soon enough you’re setting heejin down to introduce her to everyone. 

“heejin, you know auntie karina and uncle jay, right?” you ask her while you crouch down to her, she nods her head in agreement, slightly shy as she still doesn’t know the several other people in the room. 

“this is uncle jake, he has a really big puppy, you like puppies right?” and once again she’s nodding but this time with a smile as she gets excited at the mention of  a dog. when heejin started to learn how to speak, one of the first words she spoke was “dog” and would later on constantly ask you to get her dog when she learned how to form full sentences. 

“heejin, i’ll introduce you to my dog, ok?” jake says with a smile and she cheers, happy that she finally gets to play with a dog since you wouldn’t let her get one of her own. 

“this one is auntie minjeong, can you say hi to her?” you ask and heejin shyly waves her hand and when minjeong waves back and asks if she can have a high five, heejin gives her one excitedly as you’ve taught her that high fives were a gesture of encouragement and sharing a high five with a friend was a good thing so she instantly felt happy when minjeong asked for one, already identifying her auntie minjeong as a friend. 

lastly, you point to sunghoon, “that’s uncle sunghoon, you like the snow right? uncle sunghoon is really good at ice skating.” you explain and her eyes and mouth widen at the thought of ice skating. “ice skating? do you make snow angels?” she asks and it causes the lot of you to laugh; to which sunghoon nods and tells her that he’ll teach her how to make some of her own. 

introductions go very well and heejin is calling everyone auntie and uncle in no time, opening up and breaking out of her shyness once she chats with your best friends some more as she tries all of the food they’ve brought. 

“yn, all this food is amazing by the way but you should’ve let us help more or at least bring more food so you didn’t have to cook so much!” minjeong says as she’s putting away her dish into your sink. 

“yeah, yn. this is delicious but next time let us take care of all of it okay? we’ll be sure to bring all the food that heejin likes. heejin, what’s your favorite food?” jake asks her and she cutely raises the chicken wing in her hand and shouts chicken and once again the room is filled with laughter because of your daughter’s cuteness. you were so happy to see your daughter being accepted by everyone, not necessarily because you thought they wouldn’t but because for the time that you’ve been gone; you were afraid that this drastic change in your life would affect the dynamic between you and your friends. 

but it didn’t. 

at least not completely. 

jake is slurping on his noodles when he suddenly says, “yo, heeseung brought me these noodles one time; it was so good we should all go some time.” and at the mention of heeseung’s name you’re almost frozen in your spot at the table. 

the room is instantly silent when they notice your attitude shift after hearing heeseung’s name. no one besides jay really knows what happened between the two of you and even then you’ve left out certain details from the story because you couldn’t bear to relive the pain from that night just so that someone could fully understand why you did what you did. 

sunghoon shoves jake lightly at his careless action and he soon realizes why the room had fallen silent, he glances over at you with an apologetic look followed by a string of apologies, “i’m so sorry, yn. i shouldn’t have brought him up- i wasn’t thinking.” jake says and you shake your head explaining that it was okay and that he had nothing to apologize for. 

“it’s fine, jake. he and i just don’t talk anymore.” you leave it at that and everyone chooses not to pry because it was truly none of their business. 

before the night ends you all take a group photo with heejin in the middle, you decided to have her sit on your shoulders as your friends crowd around her with warm smiles that could be felt through the photo. you were so happy to see the happiness radiate through the image that you didn’t necessarily care that all of your friends were quick to post that photo, the possibility of heeseung seeing it nowhere in your mind because you were more focused on the love that your friends were giving you and your daughter. 

you bid goodbye to your friends but not before you pack them their own little containers with leftovers because it was way more than what you and your daughter could finish alone. heejin happily waved goodbye to her aunties and uncles and had long forgotten about the sad moment the two of you shared before this dinner. 

she was so happy to meet them and to her they were all just her friends. your friends are equally as happy to meet your daughter and be a part of her life and yours again. 

⋆˚ʚɞ

on the other side of the city, heeseung is scrolling through his social media alone in his bed when he scrolls past the group photo you all took on several accounts. a pang of jealousy budding in his chest as he sees you in the center, happily carrying your daughter on your shoulders. 

heeseung couldn’t help but feel left out but all he could think about was why you hadn’t let him know you were back in town after disappearing for the last five years? 

so, he does what he thinks is right and opens the groupchat he has with the boys. 

“yo, you guys free tomorrow? wanna grab lunch?” heeseung taps into his phone and presses send and in a few minutes, sunghoon, jay, and jake are all responding to heeseung’s text. 

they all coordinate a plan to have lunch the next day. heeseung plans to let it come naturally, bring you up as smoothly as he can without coming off like he wanted to hang out with the guys just to find out information about you. 

but he knew deep down that he was going to get the information he needed one way or the other. 

even if it made him feel crazy because love makes you do crazy things. 

⋆˚ʚɞ

when the next day rolls around and heeseung is making his way to lunch, he realizes that his dreams that night were filled with one thing: you. 

he dreamt about all the ways he wanted to make up for lost time, he dreamt of past memories, he dreamt of you and he slept soundly knowing that you were so happy in his dreams. only hoping that he could make you as happy in real life like how you were in his dreams. 

you were truly the girl of his dreams and now that you were back; he wasn’t going to let you go so easily like last time. 

“whats up guys!” heeseung says as he walks over to the guys who had gotten a table for the four of them. they were all browsing the menu when heeseung arrived and they all did their usual greetings, asking how one another was and all of the normal things. 

they soon order food and jay could tell that heeseung was a bit antsy, sending glances over to jake and sunghoon with a gesture to look at heeseung and they do; realizing his leg hasn’t stopped bouncing since he sat down and he was chewing on his nails– something that he’s never done in the past. 

heeseung could no longer wait, he just had to ask about you even if it made the air between all of them awkward. “so..” he begins and jay cuts him off before he could finish. 

“heeseung, i know you’re going to ask about yn.” jay says and heeseung stops in the middle of his sentence, his mouth slightly ajar as those words leave jay’s mouth. he’s shocked that they knew, was he being less subtle than he thought? or was he just that predictable. 

heeseung and you were inseparable when you were younger, you couldn’t take one without the other coming along, the true meaning of  a package deal. but when you left, heeseung was left with so many questions, none of which could be answered by you as you cut off communication with him completely. 

the rest of lunch consists of the guys informing heeseung about you, small details that they thought you’d be comfortable with sharing with heeseung, and although heeseung wanted to learn more; he was happy to learn anything new about you since you’ve been gone for the last five years. 

they could tell that heeseung’s love for you never died or diminished in any way possible. when you first left, heeseung was a wreck and if they didn’t think he loved you then; his reaction to you leaving solidified that. he didn’t sleep, he cried almost everyday and he would try to write you letters even when he didn’t have an address to send them to. 

it wasn’t until about a year after you had left that heeseung started to somewhat go back to normal. he stopped moping around and he returned to the heeseung all of your friends once knew. but deep down, he and all your friends knew that he would never be the same without you in his life. he threw himself into his work and other priorities to distract himself so he didn’t have to think about you but in the end, it always came back to you. 

he’d be walking on the street and would pass by your favorite restaurant and he’d think about you. 

a song would play and he’d be reminded about all of the times you two would dance and sing along to it. 

he’d see a cloud shaped like an animal in the sky and would remember all of the times you two would spend hours laying on the grass and spotting clouds shaped like whatever your mind could identify it as. 

everything he saw reminded him of you and although it hurt him to think about you, thinking about you was the only thing keeping you close to him when you were unknowingly so far away. 

when the four of them part ways from lunch, jay pulls heeseung aside for a quick chat before he leaves, “hey, i shouldn’t tell you this but…” jay says, whispering something to heeseung and sending him a text. heeseung’s eyes widen at the text and he’s instantly bringing jay into a hug, thanking him for whatever it was jay had told him. 

“yeah, yeah.. don’t make me regret this, she is my cousin; i’ll beat your ass if you fuck this up.” he warns and although he was slightly joking; jay was speaking with some truth because he knew how much all of this affected two people that were so important in his life. 

heeseung slept with a smile on his face later that night, not only because he was excited to be able to see you in his dreams again, but also because of what he had planned for tomorrow morning. 

⋆˚ʚɞ

“heejin! let’s go, bambi!” you call for your daughter as you slide your shoes on. heejin appears with her backpack dragging behind her, taking a seat next to you so she can put her shoes on to which you help her. you’re about to bring her to school, glancing at the clock near your front door when you realize you’ve only got 20 minutes to get her there. 

when you open the door, however, you’re met with a face that you hadn’t prepared yourself to see, at least not for a long time from now. 

“heeseung?” you ask as you look at him, standing at your front door with a smile on his face, flowers in his hand, and eyes as bright as they were when the two of you first met. 

“hi, yn.. long time no see.” heeseung responds, a sheepish grin on his face as he’s finally able to see you for the first time in five years. “sorry, i need to take heejin to school.” you explain, slightly moving him out of the way to lock the door and make your way to your car. 

“let me take you?” he offers and although a part of you wants to deny, you know that heeseung has always been stubborn and that if you were to try to decline; the two of you would just be going back and forth and before you know it, heejin would be late to school. 

so, you reluctantly accept his offer; quickly grabbing her carseat from your car and setting her up in the back of heeseung’s car. “mama, who is he?” heejin asks and you explain that he’s just a friend. “how come he didn’t come to dinner?” heejin continues with another question and you answer with something dismissive and tell her he was just busy. 

“ready to go? don’t want her to be late.” heeseung says and you look over at him and he’s still got that smile on his face like he knew exactly what he was doing and was happy that you were going along with it. you give him a tight lipped smile as you place a kiss onto heejin’s forehead before taking your seat at the front passenger seat next to heeseung. 

in the past whenever you two were in a car it would always be you in the front next to him because he trusted you the most with directions and music but mostly because he loved being able to see you next to him.  it was such a simple and innocent thing to be so close to you even if you were just sitting next to him but it never failed to make his heart race whenever you would look over at him, catching him staring at you when he needed to be focusing on the road. 

you’d tease him by saying, “eyes on the road” and talk about how you’ll crash if he keeps staring at you and he’d just respond by saying he would never hurt you or do anything that would put you in pain. 

heeseung tried to keep that promise and broke it without even knowing that he did. 

⋆˚ʚɞ

“bye heejin, have a good day ok?” you send your daughter off to school, watching her small figure skip away as she waves and greets the friends she sees as she walks into school. “she’s adorable.” heeseung says as you turn towards him. a part of you slightly forgetting that he was there because all of your focus was set on your daughter. 

“thanks.” you mutter, barely above a whisper. 

“wanna grab breakfast? my treat.” heeseung asks, a cheesy grin on his face as if he’s using his smile as a way to convince you to say yes; it worked… just a little bit. 

“fine.” you say while rolling your eyes, a part of you only saying yes because you had nothing better to do and he was the one that drove. the car ride was silent, filled with awkward tension as you couldn’t get comfortable in your seat knowing that you haven’t seen heeseung in five years and had no idea where this was going to go. would everything be the way it was before you left? or would it be filled with boiling tension that would eventually blow up. 

heeseung was fiddling with the steering wheel, tapping on the leather of the wheel, messing around with the car compartments, and constantly clearing his throat to drown out the silence that was so loud. 

“so… how’ve you been?” heeseung asks, slightly looking over at you as if he was suddenly nervous to make eye contact, fearing for how you’d react. 

“okay.. yeah i’ve been ok.” keeping your answer short so that you didn’t end up saying more than you wanted. you weren’t sure how comfortable you’d become with heeseung, someone who you once would’ve associated with the word “comfort” now was more closely aligned with “unknown”. 

“thats- thats good..” heeseung stutters. 

he doesn’t ask any further questions after he’s taken notice that you weren’t inclined for small talk or maybe just talking to him in general. which he couldn’t blame you for, you haven’t seen each other in five years and he understood that things were a lot different than before. 

you and heeseung used to be able to talk about anything and everything, whenever one of you or both would be stressed; you’d just talk for hours about anything to distract yourselves from whatever was troubling your minds. one time the two of you had even spent 63 hours on facetime, uninterrupted because you were both away from each other for the first time and couldn’t stand being that far away. 

the two of you were only separated for a weekend but it was too long for either of you. 

“order anything you want, ok?” heeseung says as he looks at the menu, browsing for what he wants to eat. you mirror his actions but you lift the menu a bit higher to cover your face because you were a bit shy. you didn’t know how to act around heeseung anymore and felt like shielding yourself away from. 

“are you two ready to order?” the waitress asks and quickly jots down your order, coming back momentarily to drop off your drinks and returning about 20 minutes later with the food you had ordered. heeseung had ordered ramen for breakfast, it came on a small personal burner so that it remained hot as he ate. you slightly smile to yourself, trying your best to hide it because this habit of heeseung hasn't changed in that aspect. 

heeseung always loved ramen, it's his favorite. 

you had just gotten rice with some grilled meat and a fried egg, something simple but delicious. heeseung is busy slurping on his noodles when you decide to break the silence, “how did you find me, heeseung?” you ask, causing heeseung to choke a bit on his food at the random question. 

he quickly apologizes, grabbing a tissue to wipe his mouth before responding, “oh, yeah about that. don’t be mad but jay told me. it’s not his fault though, i practically begged him.” heeseung says, eye widening as if to prevent you from getting upset that jay had given heeseung your address without permission. 

you were a bit upset, especially because jay was the one that knew what happened with everything out of all of the people in your life. you made sure to bring this up to your cousin when you had the chance, keeping in mind that jay would get a piece of your mind about this. 

the rest of the breakfast was filled with the same awkward tension as you two ate your food in silence, every once in a while asking each other questions for some small talk but nothing that the two of you talked about did anything to cut through the awkwardness. when you and heeseung finished eating, he kept his word about taking care of the bill, and although you wouldn’t have cared if he didn’t, it was nice because it felt just like old times. 

back in college, when you and heeseung were little broke college kids; he always paid no matter what it was. a late night snack? heeseung paid. you were craving boba? heeseung paid. it was your birthday? heeseung paid. even when it wasn’t food, heeseung paid because he loved taking care of you even in small matters like paying for your things. 

a sign you should’ve seen sooner that heeseung saw you as more than just a friend. 

“thanks for breakfast and dropping off heejin at school. have a good day, heeseung.” you say while exiting his car. you’re startled by heeseung’s sudden action when he shouts when and runs out of the car and around to your side, you give him a confused look from inside of the car as you watch him. heeseung closes your door and reopens it for you, “madam.” he says, while gesturing with his hand and a slight bow. 

you couldn’t help but laugh but when heeseung raises his head to look at you, your expression instantly changes because you didn’t want to give heeseung the satisfaction that you found it amusing. you were still upset at heeseung for something of the past and although it’s been harbored inside of you for years on end, you couldn’t help but feel it slowly rising back to the top ever since you had returned to korea. 

heeseung walks slowly behind you as you make your way to the front door like a lost puppy and when you get to unlocking your door,  he clears his throat, gaining your attention. 

“look… i know we haven’t spoken or seen each other in years, but i’m not going to act like it wasn’t the hardest five years of my life. you kind of just disappeared without explanation and when i tried to reach out… i didn’t hear back. 

i had even asked our friends and they didn’t have anything to tell me, i mean- i knew jay would’ve known because he’s your cousin but he didn’t tell me anything. 

can we please just talk?” heeseung was rambling and you felt bad because you could tell he was a bit anxious and probably rehearsed this in his head. 

“yn.. i missed you so much and i tried to practice what i wanted to say to you when i saw you again but i’ve just thrown that all out the window. 

say something..? please?” and you could feel yourself slowly falling back into that old familiar place. the one where you could look into heeseung’s eyes and you could tell how he was really feeling even if he tried to mask it with his rambling. 

“heeseung, why don’t you come inside and then we can talk… not out here..” you said with a chuckle and heeseung eagerly nods, a smile on his lips at the invitation into your home, a stepping stone back into your life. 

you don’t know where this conversation was going earlier and now that it’s almost been two hours since you saw heeseung again, you still didn’t know what to expect. 

“can i get you something to drink?” you ask and he lets you know that water is fine so after a few minutes, you return to find heeseung standing in your living room, admiring the photos you framed of yourself and your daughter. 

“you guys look so happy.” heeseung comments as he joins you on the couch, setting the two cups of water in front of the two of you. “heeseung.. i don’t know what to say to be honest. there’s a lot i’ve wanted to say to you and over the last five years, i’ve only wanted to say more. 

i didn’t mean to disappear i just-”

“then why? why did you leave?” heeseung says, interrupting you and his eyes have transitioned into one that expressed that he was pleading, begging, and waiting for an answer from you. an answer that he had been waiting for since the day you left. 

on the other hand, you were too. you had so many questions for heeseung but you knew that you couldn’t get answers without having to answer any of heeseung’s questions. you weren’t sure how to answer heeseung. you wanted to be honest and tell him the full truth but you didn’t even know if you were ready to face that. 

it was five years ago but now, sitting in front of heeseung as he looked at you with tears threatening to fall from his eyes, you couldn’t bring yourself to relive those moments where you felt the most alone, unwanted, and misunderstood person in the world. 

you stuttered to answer and the longer you thought about the more complicated it became in your head. your breathing started to become heavy and your eyes were constantly blinking. you couldn’t look at heeseung any longer because it made you feel uneasy and nauseous, the anxiety of this moment having built up inside of you for so long that now that it was all happening, it was corroding the stability you had worked so hard to build in your head. 

“are you ok, yn?” heeseung asked and his voice sounded muffled to you and as he scooted closer, the image of heeseung in your vision blurred and doubled like he was a mirage. you were starting to get light headed and that was when you knew that you were going to faint, the anxiety had taken over your brain and before you knew it your eyes were fluttering closed and heeseung was catching you in his arms before your body could fall over onto the coffee table. 

heeseung catches you instantly when you notice your body start to go limp, rocking back and forth. he wasn’t sure what happened but something must’ve been bothering you so much that you had fainted in his arms. heeseung tries his best to gently position you onto your couch in a comfortable position, moving your legs into place and softly setting your head on the armrest with a pillow propped up under. 

he admired your sleeping figure and if it wasn’t for the fact that you had fainted, he probably would’ve found this moment cute. it reminded him of the first time heeseung had realized he liked you more than he thought he did. the two of you had gotten very drunk one night after failing your economics exam and you had a habit of getting sleepy when drinking. 

you were in the middle of talking when your head started to get wobbly and your eyelids had become heavy and before you knew it; you were falling asleep next to heeseung; your head softly landing on his shoulder like a makeshift pillow. he found it cute and he still does. 

⋆˚ʚɞ five years ago

you had been texting with heeseung all night, he had been going through something and although you wanted to know what it was; you settled on just making him feel better. like a good friend would do. your crush on heeseung has something your friends had known about for a while and although you’ve wanted to confess your feelings to him for a while now, you were too afraid of ruining your friendship and it potentially affecting your whole friend group. 

heeseung was currently on his way to your dorm and it was like you were waiting for a blind date. you fidget with the tassel on your throw pillow as you wait for him on your bed, running through the different scenarios in your head of what’s been bothering him. 

he was fine the last few days but today something had shifted; heeseung felt like he was carrying something heavy on his mind and it was showing. he had sent you a string of messages that represented someone on the verge of a crash out and all you could do was worry for him, eventually inviting him over so you could talk and find a way to make him feel better. 

to which heeseung accepted instantly as if that was what he was waiting for. 

after a few minutes, a knock on your door softly echoes throughout your dorm as you’re just about to text heeseung if he was alright. “hee-” you say, getting cut off when heeseung storms into your room, breathing unsteady as if he had run over to you. 

“what’s wrong, are you ok?” you ask, worry settled onto your face as you shut the door behind you. 

heeseung is standing facing away as he tries to catch his breath, unsure of how to talk to you about what has been weighing on his mind heavily. a reality that he’s finally chosen to come to terms with despite thinking it was all his delusions until recently. 

“hee?” you ask again and he whips around to face you, your expression softening when you see that it looks like he hasn’t slept and looks absolutely exhausted. his eyes were red, cheeks a bit sunken, and the shadows around his eyes were more prominent. he looked like he’s so emotionally and physically drained you couldn’t help but rush over to him, cupping his face in worry– rubbing his cheek with your thumb and you could feel heeseung melt into your hand. 

his eyes flutter closed as he breathes a sigh of relief; like your touch alone was enough to soothe his mind even though the reason for his distress partially had something to do with you. you guide heeseung to your bed and you can’t help but frown at his appearance, you didn’t know how long this has been going on but it seems that it was enough to reflect on his face. 

“hee? are you ok?” you ask and he finally takes a deep breath before responding, “yn.. i just want you to know that i don’t want any of this to change us.. and i hope we’ll be okay after this but-” heeseung begins. 

“heeseung you’re scaring me..” you whisper, anxiety building inside of you as heeseung tries to avoid eye contact with you. 

“just- please listen.. i don’t want you to think of me any differently after i say this but…

i think i love you.” 

and when those five words leave heeseung’s lips, everything goes silent. 

you’ve been wanting to hear heeseung say those words for so long, wishing that he would reciprocate your feelings, confess his love to you the way you’ve been too afraid to confess to him, and now that he has; you didn’t know what to do or say. 

heeseung was finally able to look into your eyes, looking for an answer because the silence after his confession had him thinking that he shouldn’t have said anything in the first place. 

“please, say something..” he whispers, voice trembling like he’d be in tears at any moment. 

“hee… i just-” when you try to respond even though you weren’t sure what to say, heeseung brings his hands to your face and brings it closer to his; “please tell me you feel the same way or else i might go insane.” he whispers, his lips just a few inches away from yours. 

heeseung’s gaze trails from your eyes down your face and lands to your lips, heeseung absentmindedly licks his own as if it were a physical reaction to seeing yours. “i do heeseung-” you begin but before you could finish your sentence; his lips are on yours. 

the dryness of his lips instantly disappears as your two lips dance with his. a kiss that both of you had been longing for since you two have first met, like there was tension between the two of you that could only be relieved with one another. everyone in the room could feel it but neither of you ever wanted to confront that no matter how badly you wanted to. 

heeseung pulls away for a moment, allowing the two of you to catch your breath; “i’m sorry, i should’ve asked but i just couldn’t wait any longer..” heeseung murmurs, his bedroom eyes glued onto yours as you try to gather your thoughts. you had been waiting to share this moment with heeseung for so long but for some reason it wasn’t like how you’d dreamt.

“heeseung, this is wrong.. what about your girl-” you’re about to bring up heeseung’s girlfriend but he just shakes his head. “you’re the one i want.. it’s always been you” he says, connecting your lips once again, the kiss being just as passionate and filled with hunger like you’re both deprived of the other. 

your dorm was soon filled with you and heeseung’s pleasure, a craving that was finally satisfied after so many years; finally having you in his arms. you never thought this day would come and although you thought that it would never come; you were going to cherish this moment with heeseung. 

the next few days felt like a dream. you and heeseung were inseparable and it’s everything you had hoped for when you used to think about how your life would be after confessing to heeseung about how you truly felt. 

only for him to confess first, leaving you shocked that he felt the same way. 

the conversation after that night in your dorm room was a bit awkward but the two of you quickly learned to laugh it off and move forward with your relationship. you had agreed that you’d keep this between yourselves for now because you were unsure of how it would affect the dynamic of your friend group. you even held off from telling jay, your cousin, who you told everything to. 

it was hard for the first few weeks to hide your relationship with heeseung because whenever all of you were together, you wanted nothing more than to hold his hand or sit on his lap, the tension from before being converted to secret longing glances and smiles that you two would try to hide from your friends. 

the good lasted for only a few months, until the fateful day that would change your life forever. you had woken up feeling like a ton of bricks had fallen on top of you while you were sleeping. you were fatigued, nauseous, and spent the morning hunched over your toilet as you threw up your dinner from the night before. 

you weren’t sure why your body was suddenly feeling unwell so you made a trip to the pharmacy to grab some medicine, browsing the aisles to see what would help with your symptoms, and that was when your eyes landed on the sleek white box towards the end of the shelf. 

“pregnancy test: accurate results in just under 10 minutes” it read on the box in bright blue font. there was no way that could be the cause of your distress, you didn’t have sex with anyone else besides.. heeseung… that night.. three months ago. 

your mind starts to spiral as you think about the possibility that you could be pregnant with heeseung’s child as that night replays in your head– now just remembering that the idea of a condom was absent from both of your minds as you were both in the heat of the moment, exploring one another’s bodies. 

frantically grabbing a few boxes, you make your way to the cash register but are stopped in your tracks when a voice calls out to you; “yn?” and when you turn around it’s heeseung’s ex-girlfriend. 

the conversation with her was short but awkward. she just wanted to clear the air, letting you know that she had no animosity towards you or heeseung and that she wished you two the best. which confused you because you certainly didn’t tell her and know that heeseung wouldn’t have told her without discussing with you first. when you asked her to clarify, her explanation only heightens the mental distress you were currently in. 

“heeseung and i broke up a few months ago and i just figured you two would be together by now..” was all she said before walking away. 

the night that heeseung confessed his love to you and where you had shared one of the most intimate moments two people could experience together; also happened to be the same night that heeseung broke up with his girlfriend. 

leading you to believe that it was the only reason he felt so inclined to be with you. like you were just some rebound that heeseung knew would be waiting for him like a lost puppy who had been left at home all day, knowing that if he called out to you– you’d come running to him. 

you were a rebound. 

did he even mean anything he had said to you or was it all just a way to get you to play along with his desires? did he even know you felt that way about him? and he used it as a way to get what he wanted? 

you felt disgusted knowing that the moment you shared with heeseung that you had been waiting for was merely just a way for him to get over his ex-girlfriend. a second option that he knew he could fall back on but not in the same way that he would’ve been supported by his friends who he could fall back on during a hard time, but more so like you were just a stepping stone and a temporary fix for the despair he was in that night. 

using you to forget his ex if it meant that he would feel better at your expense. 

it feels like the ten minutes that you were waiting for the pregnancy test to be ready was the longest ten minutes of your life. “less than ten minutes, my ass” you scoffed as the clock showed it’s been ten minutes and the results weren’t being shown through the small indicator window yet. 

your head falls back in annoyance and to your surprise, the next time you look at the test, a giant plus sign is clearer than day. you swallowed the dryness in your throat, throwing the test into the garbage and ripping open into the two other boxes you bought to test again. 

refusing to believe that the first one was accurate, like it was a fluke, a false positive, anything to convince yourself that this was not happening. 

but it was. 

⋆˚ʚɞ 

when you wake up, about an hour later, you almost don’t recognize where you are until you realize you’re wrapped up in a blanket on your bed. you remember being on the couch but don’t recall how you ended up on your bed. you sluggishly roll out of your bed, eyes half open as you scratch your head and make your way to the living room; only to find heeseung sleeping soundly on your couch. 

shock shoots through you as the memories of what happened before you fainted return to your mind, remembering that you and heeseung had reunited after not seeing one another for the last five years when he showed up unannounced at your front door. 

you slowly walk over to him, momentarily admiring his peaceful face as he snoozed on your couch, clutching onto the small pillow with his arms. “i know you’re staring at me.” heeseung murmurs, opening one eye to look at you; a grin on his face when he sees the annoyed look on yours. 

“what are you still doing here?” you ask, crossing your arms and tilting your head to one side as you questioned him. “wow, already kicking me out? if we were in college you would’ve begged me to stay while you tried to convince your roommate to leave.” he says, sitting up straight with the same playful smile on his lips. 

“okay, if you’re gonna stay then i guess we need to have this talk don’t we?” you ask, swallowing the lump in your throat as you try to muster up the courage to have this conversation after it led you to faint just an hour prior. you take a seat next to heeseung, much like how the two of you were positioned earlier and the night when  he showed up at your dorm, both of you sitting on your bed; looking into each other’s eyes as if you were the only two people that existed. 

holding one another so closely like at any given moment one of you would be torn away from the other. only if heeseung knew that you would be torn away from him months after, maybe he wouldn’t have made the decision he did that night. 

but that night was nothing that he’d ever regret. 

“so.. where do i begin.. you say trying to think of how you wanted to start– 

that night, when we hooked up in my dorm room; i know why you showed up. when you told me that you loved me it was everything that i could’ve hoped for. i feel like i started to fall for you the day we first met and every day since then i fell for you even more but i just thought that i wasn’t someone that you could ever love. 

so, even though it hurt me, i settled with being okay with just being friends; because it was better than not having you in my life at all. 

but when you told me you loved me that night, i was the happiest girl in the world. until i wasn’t. i felt like the few months that we were dating was the happiest moments of my life, obviously not compared to now because i have my daughter, but i’ll cherish those moments forever because it truly made me so happy to be with you–” 

“then why did you leave?” heeseung pleads, begging for an answer as you somewhat tiptoe around it. “a few months later, i ran into your ex while i was in the store and i found out that the two of you had broken up the same night we hooked up…” heeseung was now shaking his head in denial at what he was hearing. 

“heeseung, you used me as a rebound for your breakup– no, yn. that’s not true. i promise i would never do that to you.” heeseung whines, shaking his head in frustration that you’ve harbored this misunderstanding about him for the last five years which drove you away from him. 

⋆˚ʚɞ five years ago, two days before moving away

“why have you been so distant?” heeseung asks, his doe eyes looking at you as he pleads for your attention, lights reflecting in his eyes that made it look like he was tearing up, and he was trying his best not to cry in front of the girl he’s loved for so long. 

you couldn’t bring yourself to tell him, this battle inside of you that you’ve been going through on whether or not you wanted to tell heeseung the life changing news, your oversized hoodie covering up the secret you have. 

“heeseung, i just don’t think we can do this anymore.” was the only thing you could say before having to do the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do. 

walk away from the boy you’ve loved for so long. 

heeseung didn’t know what he had done that led you to breakup with him but he held onto this idea that you hated him ever since. he respected you enough to let you walk away from him even though it took every ounce of strength inside of him to not run after you and engulf you in his arms. he would’ve begged you to stay if he could, but he didn’t. 

not running after you and fighting for your love was his biggest regret. 

two days later, he’d find out from jay that you left the country and although he begged and begged jay to let him know where you moved to, how to reach you, and to help him get in contact with you; jay respected you too much after learning what led you to leave to just set you back by allowing heeseung to waltz right back into your life. 

jay tried his best to not let his judgement of heeseung be clouded by what you told him, but he couldn’t help but feel empathy towards you. his cousin who’s life was going to change drastically because of his best friend and all he could do was support you from afar even if it meant helping you move into his childhood home where jay’s parents would be there for you to help you throughout the whole thing. 

⋆˚ʚɞ 

“heeseung, this is all too much for me right now. i want to have this conversation, i’ve thought about it every day for the last five years, but i don’t think i’d ever be ready for it. 

i think you should leave.” 

and as much as heeseung wanted to stay, beg for you to let him stay and talk it out, but he respected you too much to fight with you. 

so just like that night, he walked away even if he didn’t want to. 

you sighed as you closed the door behind heeseung, peeking into the small window beside your front door to watch him leave, shoulders low and head hunched over as he walked to his car. you close your eyes and exhale before swinging the door back open and calling for heeseung, “heeseung!” you shout and he’s instantly whipping around at the sound of your voice. 

“heejin’s birthday is in two weeks, you’re invited if you’d like to come.” and heeseung’s attitude changes, a bright smile spreading onto his face as your words ring like church bells in his ears. 

“i’ll be there.” he says before waving goodbye and driving off. 

a small smile tugging on your lips as you tried your best not to feel like that young girl you once were whenever you’d get shy around heeseung. 

⋆˚ʚɞ 

the next two weeks is filled with heeseung’s endless attempts to make his way into your everyday routine whether it was showing up again unannounced to take heejin to school, to which she’d never deny because heeseung always brought her the juice box she really likes, or if it was him asking you if you needed help with anything for heejin’s birthday. 

heeseung was going to find his way back into your life even if he annoyed you– but all you had in your mind was her birthday despite heeseung’s attempts to occupy your every waking thought. 

the build up for heejin’s birthday was filled with excitement and anxiety as you tried to make her 6th birthday something special because it would be her first birthday in korea. in the past, her birthdays in seattle was mostly just you and her, sometimes your parents would fly in town to visit but not often. 

and now that you’re back in korea and surrounded by so many people that loved you; you were going to make sure this birthday was something that she remembers. her birthday was in just 24 hours and everything was set in place. 

it was somewhat difficult to keep everything hidden from her because she was one curious girl and was constantly rambling about what she wanted for her birthday, unicorns, rainbows, the color pink, a cake that was chocolate but also vanilla and had strawberries, the color pink, a pinata that was shaped like bunny or maybe a unicorn, and oh, did i mention.. pink? 

pink was her favorite color and it showed with every since thing she always picked out for herself was pink. 

at midnight when the clock indicated that it was finally her birthday, you snuck into her room as she slept soundly with a small cupcake and a number six candle in the center. you gently walked over to her and softly sang happy birthday, waking her up and her eyes instantly widened at the sight of you. 

She was smiling from ear to ear and clapping her hands together in joy. “happy birthday my sweet bambi.” you said after singing happy birthday, softly patting her head as she makes a wish and blows out the candle. 

“thank you mama.” her small voice coming out just above a whisper. “sleep now, okay? you have a big day tomorrow.” booping her nose as she enthusiastically goes back to bed, eager to fall back asleep and wake up the next morning to her big day. 

birthday preparations started earlier for you as you made sure to do some last minute cleaning and organizing for the party. setting out all of the stuff in your backyard with the help of jay and your parents. your mom busied your daughter so that she wasn’t running around and to stop her from looking through every single thing at her party. 

she was so happy, a type of happiness you wished would stay with her forever. 

soon after, the preparations were complete and heejin was dressed in a sparkly pink dress, one that she had picked up several weeks in advance when the two of you were shopping together on a mommy and daughter date. 

your friends, sunghoon, jay, jake, karina, and winter had shown up with gifts that made your daughter smile so bright. her classmates had shown up, excited to celebrate heejin on her big day– you watched from the side as you took in all of it. some of the people you loved most in one place to celebrate the person you loved most. 

seeing your daughter happy made you happy and that was all you could wish for. 

you took a gander at all of the people enjoying the party when a knock at your front door catches your attention. you jog over to the door and are met with heeseung, a cheesy grin on his face as he carries several boxes in his arms, peering from behind it to reveal himself. 

“i hope i’m not too late?” he says and you just chuckle, telling him that the party was just beginning. you invite him inside, instructing him to set her gifts onto the table in the far side of the kitchen as the two of you join everyone in the backyard. 

you can hear gasps coming from your friends as they see you and heeseung standing together, a sight that none of them thought they’d see so soon. “yo! heeseung, you made it man.” jake says, standing up to shake his friend’s hug as everyone follows to do the same. 

karina and winter send you a teasing glance, the two of them pointing to you and heeseung like you were all kids teasing their friend when their crush walks by, earning them an eye roll as you laugh it off. 

“where’s the birthday girl?” heeseung asks, still holding onto a small gift as he walks back to you. you pointed at heejin who was playing tag with her friends; unafraid to get rowdy with the little boys in her class. “heejin, bambi! come here, you’ve got a gift.” you shout and she comes running as she hears the word gift. 

heeseung crouches down to her size and hands her the gift, “happy birthday heejin.” he says with a soft smile, one that heejin returns. hugging him to thank him, “can i open it mama?” she asks and you gesture her to ask heeseung since it was his gift– earning an eager nod from heeseung who encouraged her to open it. 

heejin tears into the small box, a gasp escaping from her tiny mouth as she sees the box, the gift wrap revealing a soft brown deer plushie with a pink bow and blushing cheeks. she jumps up and down in excitement, her arms wrapping around heeseung’s neck to show her appreciation for the gift. seeing heeseung hug her back pulls at your heartstrings as you watch all of it unfold, an image in your head that you thought you’d never see. 

your daughter and her father sharing a tender moment with an embrace. 

⋆˚ʚɞ 

the party dies down once the sun has set and most of the guests have gone. the only people left were your parents, winter and sunghoon, and heeseung. your friends had offered to stay back to help you clean and because your mother was your mother, she wasn’t going to let you clean up alone even if you had your friends to help. 

heejin was in the living room with bright eyes as she looked at all of the gifts she had received, several gifts of stuffed animals, toys, clothes, and other presents that a small child would appreciate. “okay, bambi let’s get ready for bed. you can play with all of your toys tomorrow, ok?” and heejin nods, grabbing the deer plushie that heeseung got her and taking it with her as you help her get ready for bed. 

heeseung notices you and heejin walking away and excuses himself from your mother to which she just nods and tells him it’s okay and she’ll take care of the rest of the chores in the kitchen. heeseung parted with a small bow as he makes his way to what he assumes is heejin’s room. 

winter and sunghoon on the other are glancing at each other, having confirmation with just their eyes as they watch heeseung run after you. 

“you know.. not to be a conspiracy theorist but doesn’t heejin look like.. heeseung?” winter asks, whispering to sunghoon as she walks a bit closer to him. “no, i see it too. also, the nickname? we used to say heeseung looks like a baby deer all the time when we were in college and yn nicknamed her daughter bambi?” sunghoon adds and winter looks at him like he’s just spilled the deepest secret one can hold. 

sunghoon and winter send each other knowing glances as they both arrive at a revelation. 

“hey, you guys alright?” heeseung asks while popping his head into heejins room with a soft knock. you tell him that you’re just her ready for bed when you wave him inside. “thank you for the gift, she loves it a lot. i’ve been looking for that thing for months and i can’t believe you were able to find it.” you tell him and heeseung chuckles.

“it’s no big deal” he responds and you ask him about how he knew to get that for her. “she talks about it whenever i drive her to school, she also mentioned that her mommy calls her bambi and i figured it would make the perfect gift.” he explains, making it a point to reference the bambi part as he knew that was also a nickname he had within your friend group, one that you started. 

you hoped that you weren’t too obvious with that but chose not to dwell much longer on the nickname as it could just be coincidence– although it wasn’t. 

“thank you for the bambi!” heejin says as she walks back into the room in her pajamas. heeseung pats her small head as she climbs into her bed, tucking her into her blanket as you ask her about her day– heejin rambling on about her favorite parts of the day which just turned out to be every single aspect of her party. 

you smiled at her as she went on and on, “but my favorite is the bambi.” she says while stretching her arms out with the plushie in her hands and then bringing it into her arms for a hug. “thank you dad.” heejin says and it catches you and heeseung off guard– heejin herself doesn’t even realize what she’s said as she gets cozy in bed. 

there was a sense of awkwardness between the two of you at the comment by your daughter and it causes heeseung to start questioning things and putting puzzle pieces together. the possibility that he could’ve been heejin’s dad hadn’t crossed his mind once and now that it’s been brought up; it’s all he was thinking about. 

“goodnight, baby.” you say before placing a kiss onto heejin’s forehead and as you’re about to leave; she calls out to you. “mama, can you sing me a lullaby?” she asks and even though you were exhausted, you weren’t going to say no to your daughter. 

“can i?” heeseung asks and you couldn’t bring yourself to say no when heejin looked so excited, so you nod and heeseung takes a seat on the bed next to heejin who was still hugging the deer plushie. 

heeseung then begins to sing a song to your daughter. you haven’t heard his voice in so long, the melodic trill of his vocals, a symphonic honey like sound that lulled your daughter to sleep in no time, her soft snores mixing with heeseung’s beautiful singing. 

when the two of you were certain that she was sound asleep, you carefully walked out of her room and shut the door as softly as you could. as you try to walk back to finish some cleaning, heeseung holds onto your hand and whips you back around to look at him, his gaze filled with love and the same type of longing that has lingered inside of him for years on end. 

“can we talk?” heeseung says and you nod, letting him know to continue. 

“i know that i hurt you when i made it feel like you were just a rebound, but that couldn’t have been more wrong. it was always you, i’ve always loved you and i would always choose you. my ex and i were constantly fighting throughout that week and the day i came running to you was when we broke up but i never told you why… 

we broke up because she realized how much i loved you in comparison to her and it wasn’t fair that whenever i was with her, all i could think about was you. 

i’ve loved you since the day i met you and i just never had the courage to say that, but i would write your name in the sand again and again after the waves have swept it away if it means that my love for you is shared across the seas.” 

tears streaming down your eyes as heeseung’s hands gently cup your face, his thumb wiping your face of your tears. heeseung brings you into his arms for an embrace and when he feels your arms wrap around him, he breathes a sigh of relief knowing that he was finally able to get that off of his chest.

something that he’s had weighing on him for so long and was so happy to finally profess his love for you. the girl he loves and will always love. 

when you pull away from him with a sniffle, heeseung wipes your tears again as you lock eyes, “is she mine?” he asks in reference and you nod, finally telling heeseung the secret that you’ve held for the last five years. 

tears sting heeseung’s eyes at the information and he holds you even tighter in his arms when he hears the news. he couldn’t believe that the beautiful girl he just sang to sleep was his daughter. joy was an understatement to describe the emotion that he was feeling. the type of love only a family could share where they’d do everything to keep the family together and happy. 

you and heeseung spend the night sharing stories of what you’ve missed in each other’s lives in the time that you were gone. tears, laughter, and tender touches shared between the two of you as you do your best to rebuild your relationship from scratch. 

“thank you for giving me another chance.” heeseung whispers as you lay in his arms, the moonlight shining onto your faces, leaving a small white cast into the room. 

“thank you for not giving up on me.” you respond, heeseung placing a small kiss onto your temple before you both drift off to sleep. a type of joy and delight radiating from your bodies that neither of you have felt in so long. something you would have only gotten from one another. 

⋆˚ʚɞ 

you’re awoken to the smell of grilled meat wafting throughout your home, your nose dragging you to the living room to find heejin and heeseung in the kitchen cooking together. “what do we have here?” you ask and they turn to look at you, “mama! he’s teaching me how to make pancakes and bacon.” she says, running over to you and hugging your legs. you pick her up and walk back to heeseung who was setting the last pancake onto the plate. 

“let’s eat.” he says and you all sit at the table together and enjoy breakfast like a family for the first time. a moment that you’ve always wanted to share as a whole family and now that you’ve finally been able to share the truth with heeseung, it’s everything you’ve ever wanted. 

“heejin, i have something to tell you, ok?” you tell her and she’s looking up at you with her big doe eyes, identical to heeseung’s who was shyly sitting to the side. “remember when you asked me where your papa is?” and heejin nods, a small pout on her lips. 

“bambi, heeseung is your papa.” and you’ve never seen heejin move so fast before as she’s jumping out of her chair and into heeseung’s arms to which he welcomes her, hugging his daughter with so much love that you could feel it coming off of them. heeseung extends one of his arms to invite you over and as tears fall from your eyes once again, you join in on your first ever family hug. 

you didn’t know when this day would come and you were elated that it came sooner after you had been running from it for the last five years. the happiest moment of your life with the family you’ve created could’ve never happened if you didn’t face heeseung and allowed for him to bare his soul and heart to you. something you should’ve never been afraid of. 

heeseung waited for you every single day, thinking about the day that you’d come back to him and when you’d finally be his. to his surprise, you gave him a beautiful daughter that, although he has a lot of time to make up for, was so happy that he wasn’t too late to watch her grow and be a part of her life. 

no matter how hard you tried to run from having to face this hardship, heeseung was thousands of miles away back in korea waiting for you with only love in his mind. wanting nothing more than to have you back in his life and to never let you go like he had done the first time. 

the image of your broken face replayed in his mind every night when he slept, thinking about the pain he must’ve put you through without knowing the full capacity of what you had to experience alone. he wished he was there by your side through every single step, holding your hand in the delivery room, taking photos of you as your stomach grew, witnessing his daughter’s first steps and first word, everything. 

but now that he was back, he was going to make sure that he didn’t miss anything else. 

you and your daughter instantly became the most important people in his life, knowing that he’d love the both of you endlessly, unconditionally, and forever. 

forever. 

something that he’d always associate with you because you are his forever and now, so is your daughter. 

love should be forever and you were forever going to be loved by him. it was like love and forever was synonymous with you because to heeseung, loving you is forever. 

⋆˚ʚɞ

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[enhasrii]

NIGHTMARE • JAKE SIM

Pairing: Jake sim x female reader

Synopsis: When someone you love cheats on you, it's like a dagger through the heart, shattering trust and leaving a deep, unhealable wound. The pain is raw, intense, and profound. You never predict you'd ever experience that.

Word count: 1859

Genre: established relationship, fluff, angst, heartbreak au, hurt-comfort.

Warnings: cheating (you'll see), heartbroken reader, crying, kissing, curse words, making out, emotional reader, i think that's it.

NOTE: I hope you all like it :)

PLAY: Hate you by jungkook, Apocalypse by cigarettes after sex

"yeah. I am going to his workplace." You told your best friend who is also your coworker,  She glanced at the documents she was holding and nodded.

"Alright. Have fun" She ends her statement with a wink. You scoffed at her, but you could not suppress the chuckle. "You two are so in love; it is both disgusting and admirable."

You laugh at that but agree with her "whatever"

Everyone is aware of how deeply in love you and your partner Jake are. Having been in a relationship since high school, while your friends keep dating different people and have not found 'the one' yet, You and Jake were attached at the hip.

It was your friends' favorite thing to make fun of you two. However, it did not embarrass you or Jake. Their little jabs did not bother you because you two were too much in love.

The world was aware that you two would eventually tie the knot. And you would. You and Jake have already discussed it and even decided that it will be a lavish wedding held in a palace with plenty of visitors to bestow blessings upon you both. Everyone should see the two young lovers getting married to their love of life.

It was 5:48 pm. Your work for today was completed. You were able to leave work early because you did not have a lot of work to do today.

releasing a sigh of exhaustion. You recline in your office chair and stretch a little before getting to your feet.

Following the protocol of presenting your supervisor with your file and requesting permission to depart. After he gave you the go-ahead to depart early, you bow to him.

You bid your coworkers and friends farewell as you depart from your office building. You get into your car and head to Jake's office.

You had not contacted him to let him know you would be visiting. It crossed your mind to surprise him. Then, whenever he finished for the day, you two could head home together.

Going to his workplace without warning would not be an issue because you would know he would not mind and would actually be very happy about it.

You pulled into the parking lot outside his office and parked before entering the large structure. The woman behind the reception desk smiles to greet you; she is aware that you are her boss's girlfriend.

After she confirmed that Jake is in his cabin You enter the elevator and select his floor. The elevator eventually made the sound that signals you have arrived at the floor.

You strolled over to his cabin. There were not many workers present.

You raised your right hand to knock on the door while standing outside the cabin, but you didn't knocked.

You consider simply entering without knocking, and unintentionally, a smile appears on your face as you consider how surprised he would be.

"Shhh.. baby"

The whispering sound that emerged from behind the door makes you frown. That voice was definitely Jake's.

A low moan caught your attention, not anyone's but female's. your hand reached for the doorknob.

Gulping down, fearing the worst, you turn the doorknob and push the door open.

And your worst nightmare came true. Jake was sitting on his chair while a girl was straddling his lap. His arms around her figure and her finger locked on his neck while they were kissing each other intensely.

They both turned in response to the slight sound the door made as it opened. Jake widened his eyes. He pushed the girl from his lap with a swift motion. She staggered but got to her feet. Your gaze was fixed on Jake the entire time.

He got to his feet. He smoothed his shirt with his hand. "Baby" He approached you with a few striding steps.

Your heart gives out.

"Don't." Your voice was nowhere near strong. "You.." you sounded as though you were incapable of speaking. "Why."

Jake looks down, avoiding eye contact. While the girl he was making out with was standing with her arms crossed across her chest, she then huff and walk out of the office. Leaving Jake and you by yourself.

"was I not enough.." It was not a query. You seemed to be conversing more with yourself than with him. Jake let out a sigh.

"That's no-"

"Then Why?" You enquired. Hot tears were burning in your eyes. The idea that he is capable of something like this breaks your heart. He loved you so much. You two were incredibly in love with one another. Then, Why?

It was too much for your heart to bear. You turned to go outside without waiting for his response, tears uncontrollably streaming down your face.

Jake grabbed your arm to stop you, saying, "Y/n. Please."

You spun back around to face him, jerking his hand from your body. Your tearful eyes, now filled with rage, gaze at him.

"Don't fucking touch me."

"Y/n," he said in a now-emotional voice.

"why did yo- how could you do this to me" your wasn't strong. Jake attempted to hold onto your hands, but you prevented him.

"Listen to me-" he was still try to grab onto you.

"I thought you loved me.." Even you were unaware of how you were managing your feelings, your tears. It hurt more than anything.

"I only love you," he said, cupping your cheeks.

It felt as though the last thread had been cut. Your sobs finally made it passed your throat. Eyes red with the tears that were rolling down your face, on his hands. You broke down. In his arms.

Your chest hurt so bad it was intolerable. You feel as though someone is stabbing your chest from inside, and there is nothing you can do about it. Your breathing became labored and the tears continued to fall. Despite your hands pressing against his chest, his muscular figure remained unaffected.

Despite your fist punching at his chest to put some space between you, he persisted in keeping you close. The broken voice of yours cried out, "fucking leave me alone," but he ignored it. "Yo-you do not love me," your voice broken from sobbing so much, and your eyes now closed with exhaustion.

"You do not love me," you yelled. Sweats and tears cause hairs to stick to your face.

"Baby." Jake murmurs. You felt his hands cup your face. His fingers blotting away the tears. His eyes dart across your face in concern. "Y/n, please open your eyes," he said, giving you a gentle shoulder shake.

A gasp came out of your mouth as your eyes opened. You sit straight up. Jake's features show through your blurry eyes. Your red eyes met his worried eyes. His hands are gently pushing the hairs away from your face. urging you to inhale deeply while whispering.

when you have at last gained some composure. Your gaze stray to the familiar surrounding of your shared bedroom with jake. Your home. Not Jake's office.

A moment later, realization struck. Nothing about it was true. what you saw, about Jake cheating on you, betraying you, wasn't true. It was a dream. A bad dream.

A nightmare.

"bad dream?" Jake gently jolted you out of your reverie with his voice. You look him in the eye. His already stunning features are highlighted by the moonlight streaming through the window, making him appear even more perfect in your love-filled eyes.

A tear silently falls from your eyes. recalling how painful that dream was, and how real it felt. Jake pulled you into his embrace when he saw you cry once more. He puts one arm around your shoulder and one around your front. And rest against the headboard retaining your proximity to him. His head rests on yours.

"Jake.." Due to all of the crying, your voice seems a little weak. He made a humming noise. You look up at him, meeting his gaze. Your voice was as quiet as you said, "I.. I dreamt that you cheated on me."

"What?" he said, chuckling slightly at the way your lips pursed a little pout before humming, encouraging you to go on.

"I walked into you k-kissing some girl and I was crying and told you to fuck off but you weren't letting me.. saying 'i love you only'" You describe the dream to him.

"Well, I can agree with that asshole Jake from your dream with this though—I only love you." He said, tightening his hold on you a little, you nod your head.

"I love you so much too. even though it was dream, it felt so real. I couldn't control my emotions."

With his arms unwrapped, he cupped your face in his hands and forced you to sit up straight with him, "I love you way more—but listen to me." He said. staring directly into your eyes. "That was only a dream. I do not want you to experience insecurity after this or question 'what if that dream came true' 'What if he's really cheating on me' You know? That's never gonna happen and i mean it. That's never gonna happen" he said with soft but firm voice. He spoke with nothing but sincerity.

"I know. I trust you. I believe you. I love you" you said. You put your hand on his cheek. You are not aware but jake's heart does a flip at your confession.

"Well, I love you even more," he said with a tender smile.

"ah- no actually i love you so much more"

"Shhh.. i love you so, so much more and c'mere now" he said. You both lay down on the bed with your heads on his chest as he pulled you in closer. "But tell me honestly, please. You are not thinking about "what ifs" right now, are you?"

"No. I'm not. I know you love me" your hand travel up to jaw, your thumb caressing his cheek. "But now that I think about it, it seems silly to be crying over a dream like that." It was safe to say that you were feeling a little embarrassed about the incident that had just occurred a short while ago. "Like, who does that?"

"It's not silly baby. It happens, and I guarantee that everyone has experienced it at least once. You know, that did happen to me once as well. I dreamed that my dog died, and since she is my baby, you can imagine how devastated I was when I woke up," he said.

That was the thing with jake. Talking to him was so easy. With him, you could discuss anything and everything. He radiated the sense of comfort. If comfort was a person it would be Jake Sim. God you love him so much.

"I love you, jake sim." A soft smile forms on your lips. He gives you a bigger smile and, if it were even possible, pulled you more closer to him.

"I love you too, so much more" he says, leaning to press his lips to yours.

NOTE-2: I was thinking of adding "but little did you know.." in the end(lol) but i didn't."

@ enhasrii, 2024, Do not repost or copy in any way.

NOTES, COMMENTS AND REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED.

[enhasrii]

Teenage crush: my bestfriend's brother | yang jungwon

Pairing: yang jungwon x female reader

Word count: 1002

Genre: bestfriend's brother, teenage crush/love

Warning: none

Note: this will have another part or parts. happy reading:)

"YOU GORRA HEAR ME OUT. I'M SO PISSED RIGHT NOW." just when you opened up the door of your bestfriend's, jiwoo, room, you were greet with her whining. Her brows furrowed in exasperation.

"okay. Let's hear you." You closed the bedroom door of her room.

With a heavy sigh, she collapses onto the bed, lying on her back and glaring irritably at the ceiling. You approached her and then lay down next to her, waiting for her to launch into a tirade.

"He is so fucking—" you interrupted her.

"language."

"—so damned annoying. He doesn't know a thing. I am so furious. He is always playing video games. He doesn't care about me at all. I hate him" she rant her hear out. You look at her.

"No, you don't." -was your only reply.

"fuck yeah, I don't." She agrees. you give her a stern look, when she spits out again, she simply rolls her eyes at that. "How can he not pay any attention to me? His own girlfriend, huh loser. I'm so mad i swear to god." she whine.

At the moment, she was meant to be at her boyfriend's house. When she abruptly called you to her house, you thought they must have gotten into a fight.

"did you try talking to him, about this." You asked her, knowing her, you already know the answer. "What happened, though, you did not even properly tell me." You said.

"Nah. First of all, he invited me to hang out at his house. Then totally ignored to me to play online like a loser with his bestfriends. Secondly, I have no doubt that man is still completely unaware that I had left." Her statement caused you to frown and give her a startled look.

"Wait- what do you mean he— jiwoo did you even told him you were leaving?" You asked her, half-amused by her absurdity.

"No." she replied. You give her a glare. Here you were making assumption that they may had a fight or something, It turns out that she did not even speak to the man she was complaining about. Your glare makes her slightly flatter. "I had enough of him okay." she claims.

Her phone rang just as you were ready to reprimand her. It was on the bedside table and she reached for it. The ID of the caller was "jaehyun💥💘."

Conflict, she looks at you. You urge her to take the call. She put it on the speaker after doing so. Now you both sit upright on the bed.

"Jiwoo babyy wheree didd youu goo" jiwoo's boyfriend, jaehyun's voice was heard and just like jiwoo, he was whining.

"Oh so now you notice that I have left huh!" Jiwoo grumbly asserts. Jaehyun makes a loud whine over the phone. Despite the fact that you guys are the same age, you would mistakenly believe that to be a child.

"I'm sooo sorry babyy."

"I don't wanna hear it."

"Please baby come over. I promise I'll make it up to you. Please." jaehyun plead from the other line

"No." She ignores his pleades. And judging by the way she looked, she seemed to be having fun while he begged her. You shook your head at her behaviour.

"Please baby, please." Jaehyun persisted.

You stopped her in her tracks by nodding "go" just as she was about to say no again. She mouthed the word "not yet" and shook her head frowningly. You give her a stern look while mouthing the word "goo." She pouted before nodding.

"Okay." was all she said.

"Yess! I'll even get your favourite ice cream." Jaehyun cheer on the other side. And his girlfriend was so excited by his offer that she hurried out of bed.

"Okay! I'm on my way." Now she spoke with excitement. Before running out of her bedroom, she gave you a kiss on the cheek and waved good-bye. You smiled back.

You exhale. The room was silent except for the sound of the ceiling fan. After getting out of bed, you left her bedroom.

You heard the front door opening as you were making your way downstairs, only a few paces from the living room.

Before seeing him, you heard him.

"sleep tomorrow but tonight go crazy." His voice echoed loudly throughout the house. Him, your bestfriend's brother.

Yang jungwon.

"all you gotta do is just meet me at the—" assuming by the look on his face he got startled seeing you here and stopped singing (obviously). "Oh. Hi. I didn't knew you were here" He sheepishly said and streched the back of his head, embarrassed that you must have heard him when he was loudly singing.

"Hi. Uhh.. I was just leaving." You were attempting to conceal the smile that was starting to appear on your face due to his agitated state by focusing on the ground.

He gave you a nod and stepped aside. maybe your delusional mind was playing tricks on you but you swear you saw his eyes tracing your features and form. He gives you a little "bye" wave.

You wave back. Almost took a step but stopped. doubting whether or not to say it. Say it! your mind tells you. common Say it—

Then you turn around towards him. "You really have a nice voice" you said before leaving.

omg. omg I just said that to him Oh. Am. Gee. You covered your face with your hands, squealing quietly to yourself. relax it's not like you confessed to him or something. "Yess. Control yourself, y/n." You gave yourself a quick slap on the cheek, clearing your throat, and proceeded to walk normally, avoiding expressing your emotions. The yang's house was right next to yours, so you quickly reached your place.

You were too anxious and agitated to notice the shy smile that appeared on Yang Jungwon's face cause of you. (when you complimented him and simply by being there.)

Is that how you feel when your crush compliment you?

© enhasrii, 2024, Do not repost or copy in any way.

NOTES, COMMENTS AND REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED.

[enhasrii]

He's so fine!!??? Wth

[sseracities]

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get better! | 13. my kitchen almost caught fire!

SMAU! synopsis -› in which your neighbor and popular twitch streamer park sunghoon breaks his arm, so he switches to vlog style content that matches up with your’s! now everyone’s curious why 1) you have a cute boy in your apartment, 2) sunghoon’s not on his grind anymore, and 3) when are you two going to date!?

[1.2k, minor minor cut, cursing]

Choosing your kitchen to film was one of the worst ideas you’ve ever had. 

Sunghoon barely bothers to knock now, yelling at you when there’s no one else in the corridors to let him in. He’ll frantically text you or blow up your phone until he’s impatient from your ignorance and ends up ringing the doorbell to catch your attention. 

You don’t even greet him, and instead, you open the door with an accusatory finger. 

“You better not mess anything up. This apartment is new.” 

He puts his hands up in surrender, following you to see your camera set up, along with ingredients, cutlery, and everything you could need in case he needs to find something. 

“You’re awfully prepared for this,” he notes, walking around the kitchen island to face the camera. “Trust me, I’m friends with a guy who cooks, so I promise nothing bad will happen.”

You stare at him unconvinced, before he hears you mumble something about never trusting men who lie (which he takes a lot of offense to).

Slipping behind the tripod, you click a few buttons, readjusting to get the perfect angle where both you and Sunghoon are in frame, and your roomy cooking space is all included before clicking the dreaded start button. 

“What’s up, Pickles Fan Club? It’s your club president Y/N L/N, and I’m joined with a special guest!” 

Sunghoon’s gaze lingers on your infectiously cheerful personality, before he smiles brightly at the camera and introduces himself once more. You two explain the challenge you’re doing in today’s video, and after the rules are clear, you pull out your cute pink sleeping mask and a pair of white headphones, grinning mischievously when you see him eye the two objects. 

“I’m not wearing that,” He states, staring wide-eyed. You place the items down, putting your fist out to initiate a game of rock paper scissors—and that was how you lose three times, before you had to place your favorite covering over your eyes. 

You hated this; you felt like you could trip at any moment. 

Returning to the camera, you asked Sunghoon to check up on the smaller cameras on your counter and near your stove to make sure they looked right before turning on an upbeat playlist for his headphones. 

“Hey Sunghoon, do I look cute?” You asked, testing to see if he would respond. He was in his own world, staring at the flour and block of cheese as if dozing off. 

Estimating where the camera was based on the counter, you confirmed that, “Either Sunghoon is in another dimension, or he can’t hear me. Anyways, we’re going to make pasta, and we printed the recipe from Jay.” 

Making pasta was probably an even worse decision than choosing your kitchen as your channel’s next battlefield.

It was chaotic as Sunghoon scrambled to lead you away from pricking your finger immediately, telling you to wait as he read the instructions on how the hell you make creamy pasta sauce. 

“Three cloves, finely chopped. You can cut it, right?” You nodded in response, and he handed you the handle of a small knife, watching you carefully find the cloves and using the proper method to cut them slowly without ever hitting your finger. He began to pour hot water into a pot, switching on your stove carefully and waiting for it to heat up. In another pan, he added oil, and measured out heavy cream and butter to keep aside. 

He turns around, just the sound of HOT TO GO by Chappel Roan in his ears as he bops his head to the music before he notices you. Sunghoon grins as he observes how you reach out nervously to find the fabric of his button up. “Sunghoon, where the fuck are you?” You say, knowing he can’t hear you, before you point to your cloves. 

They could use some work, but he slides them into the sizzling oil. 

“Okay, now get the wooden spoon and stir.” You do as he says, slowly mixing as he pours in heavy cream and warns you not to stir too much. He proceeds to place the pasta in the water, switching tasks for you to grate the parmesan instead of stir and possibly burn yourself. 

The moment he sees you stop in his peripheral, he whips around to make sure you’re okay, only to see you’ve nursed your finger after a small scrape against the grater leaves your skin pricked and red. 

“____,” He murmurs, abandoning the stove to make sure you’re okay. “Let me get you a bandaid,” he says. Sunghoon reaches gently for your wrists, and although you can’t see anything, it heightens your senses, and you hear his worried gasp before the barely there pressure of his fingers around your hands. 

Too close. You’re friends. 

You shake your head and stop him by his wrist, finding the block of cheese and waiting until he helps you get it right. What you don’t expect, though, is how he reaches for both of your hands and leans over your shoulder, staying silent as he guides your firm grip on the cheese in the proper direction. 

Friends also do not do this, you think, as he stands behind you and watches you carefully grate a fucking block of cheese. You don’t feel the rise and fall of a friend’s chest behind you or hear their quiet breaths.

Then, something beeps. 

You immediately wring your hands out of his to take off the mask and pull off his headphones to reveal a beeping smoke alarm. Your sauce was bubbling much too high, and somehow your detector went off, and you two turned off the stove before trying to fix the stupidly loud problem on hand. Sunghoon ended up hitting it multiple times on end before it finally stopped, and you looked at each other in fear before quietly returning back behind the camera. 

“So,” you started, “Sunghoon set off the fucking smoke detector.”

He gives you an offended look before turning to the camera as his witness. “It was literally you!” 

You two point fingers at each other before laughing and simply finishing the challenge without your handicaps, and you end up making a really good looking pasta. The chicken looked well seasoned, and although your sauce might’ve burned the bottom of your pan, it leaves a fond memory behind.

To be fair, you both think you did the challenge wrong somehow. 

Sunghoon shrugs before he takes a bite, his eyes glowing with approval. “I knew Jay’s recipes were good,” he comments as he digs his fork back in…to feed you. He opens his mouth as a way to get you to subconsciously do the same, and you raise an eyebrow at not only the hand under your chin to catch any food, but also the fork that was barely a centimeter away. 

“You’re spoon feeding me?”

“Say ahh,” he deflects, before you give in with an amused look. You two spend a few minutes reflecting on how you did, and you still laugh at the fresh memory of your alarm, or cutting your garlic cloves well, or—how Sunghoon felt as he leaned over you and carefully held your hands in his. 

You watch the footage that night with a smile and a storm in your heart, unsure of what the hell you’re going to do regarding a certain Mr. Park Sunghoon.

prev. | ml. | next.

[enhasrii]

NAVIGATION ★

rii | she/her | 06'

・ot7 biased. currently writing only for enhypen

home | library | wips

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[enhasrii]

TAGLIST ★

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[enhasrii]

ENHYPEN LIBRARY ★

KEYS

Fluff: f

angst: a

smut: m

suggestive: s

이희승 | lee heeseung

CRUSH (f)

Admiring someone you love is like gazing at a masterpiece; every glance reveals new depths of beauty and wonder, leaving you in awe of the artistry that is their essence and that's exactly how you feel for lee heeseung.

박종성 | park jongseong

None yet ...

심재윤 | sim jaeyun

NIGHTMARE (f, a)

When someone you love cheats on you, it's like a dagger through the heart, shattering trust and leaving a deep, unhealable wound. The pain is raw, intense, and profound. You never predict you'd ever experience that.

박성훈 | park sunghoon

none yet ...

김선우 | kim seonwoo

none yet ...

양정원 | yang jungwon

TEENAGE CRUSH: MY BESTFRIEND'S BROTHER

bestfriend's brother, yang jungwon aka your crush

니시무라 리키 | nishimura riki

none yet ...

엔하이펜 • ot7 series

none yet ...

last updated: 31 October 2024

@ enhasrii all rights reserved. do not repost, copy in any way, translate or post on any other platform.

[frost-queen]

🅼🅸🅽🅶🅻🅴 // part 5 (Reader x Young-il / player 001)

Forever tag:@missmelodramatic, @floatlosers, @alex–awesome–22  @merlieve, @glimmering-darling-dolly , @denkisclown, @wildiefleur , @meyocoko , @subjecta13-thefangirl , @m-rae23 , @harleyquinnswifeyfrfr, @panhoeofmanyfandoms , @venomsvl , @the-uncoordinated-house-cat , @rosecentury , @evilcr0ne , @vviolynn , @niktwazny303 , @erikasurfer , @slythetic  , @eliscannotdance, @p0nycurtis, @anjautembear, @noiyaaa, @filmedbyharkness , @uniquecutie-puffs, @r3va-dwme, @annasnape7, @starkeyszn, @bonelessghoul, @carrotjuicepdf, @imenekiki, @gay4hotmilfs, @yummycement, @sooyasya, @nerdytif, @hollxe1, @venavanup, @love-zami, @formula1love, @coruja12345, @ingstadstarlight, @samanthadegaro, @sweetheartlizzie07, @enhasrii, @lokiscure, @esposadomd, @hanta-seros-wifey, @verouys , @p1ckld3r, @thelastemzy , @Iglily

Summary: Round and round you go. Mingling in the games to reach the doors in time with the right number. Will you make it out or will this be where you will draw your last breath? [series]

You groaned loud when the emotionless woman’s voice announced to wake up. If you ever had a gun, you would shoot the speakers down to never hear her annoying voice ever again. You waited for Jun-hee to wake up before crawling over her bed to the stairs in between the beds constructions. Jung-Bae stretched himself out with loud squeals. Dae-ho warming his arms and legs up.

From across the room, you saw the O voters getting up in a more cheerful way. Relieved to play another game for the prize money. It made you scoff their way. After last night’s vote, you had lost all hope in decency within them. They were here for one thing and one thing only. To claim that big piggy bank as there’s.

Not caring how many more people died. The more the better for them. You turned your head when the doors opened. Circle pink suits marching out. A few of them carrying tables to settle down. Breakfast. With a sigh, you followed the others down the stairs to get your food.

Shuffling in line, stomach already growling. You accepted your food and milk with a bow, stepping aside. – “Y/n wait.” – you heard, making you slow down. Hyun-ju placed a hand on your shoulder to catch up. – “Will… will you be alright for today?” – she asked. She was the only one that had seen your breakdown last night.

Having comforted you and not judged you. You hummed loud at her, following her back to the beds. – “Don’t worry about me.” – you told her. So you believed it. Last night when you were laying down in bed. You couldn’t find your sleep yet.

Mind spiralling over the fact that you had to play another game. The hope you had of ever getting to leave by the votes had faded quickly. You couldn’t simply trust the votes anymore. If you wanted to get out, you needed to survive. Survive to see your parents again.

Fight for your survival or die trying. If they wanted you to play by their games, so you would. Not letting them take you down without a fight. Hyun-ju blinked surprised back at you. Something she had not foreseen so quickly in you. She wrapped an arm around you, pulling you closer to her. Her chin resting on top of your head, squeezing her eyes shut with a comforting tug at your body.

She let go of you, joining the others. – “Jun-hee.” – Young-il said, holding his milk out to her. She stared blankly back at him. – “Take it.” – he gestured the milk demandingly at her to take. – “Thank you.” – Jun-hee said softly with a bow of her head. Young-il looked up when you had arrived. Moving aside to make room for you. Leaning into Gi-hun.

“What are you doing?” – Gi-hun asked confused as to why Young-il was leaning in so closely to him. Young-il ignored him, gesturing with his hand for you to sit. You stepped over a sitting Dae-ho to join Young-il. He removed himself from Gi-hun, shuffling closer to you.

You smiled shyly back at him. Young-il curling up a smile as well. Once he noticed how hard he was smiling, he dropped it. Clearing his throat and turn slightly away from you. Noticing Gi-hun was still staring confused at him. Young-il slightly shook his head for him to drop it. – “If we stay together, I’m sure we can…” – Jung-bae started. – “stay alive?” – you filled in, silencing the group.

Everyone swallowing nervously. Gi-hun began to speak to change the vibe settling between the group. – “Y/n.” – Young-il said leaning in closer to you. His head nearly touching yours as his hand found a way on your knee. – “Stay close and I’ll protect you.” – he said staring back at you. His gaze drifting down to your lips where they remained.

You stared down at his hand on your knee. Young-il flashed his gaze back up to your eyes, seeing they were focused on something else than him. – “Ah…” – he said on a long tone, slowly lifting his hand up from your knee. – “Sorry.” – he bowed his head to apologize.

Finishing up breakfast all of you retreated to the restrooms before the next game. You splashed some water in your face to shake yourself awake. Grabbing the sink with both hands, looking back at your own reflection. – “One more game.” – you whispered. Leaving the restroom with Jun-hee to join the others. The pink suits already stationed up front.

Forming a line, you all followed them. Met up with the classical music that led you to a presuming death. Each step felt heavier. Like reaching a top that made it harder for you to breath. Hyun-ju was walking behind you. You reached your hand out to her behind you. She took it firmly, needing a little comfort for herself. Higher and higher you went as the endless maze of stairs led you to another room.

Curtains opening as the first line of triangle pink suits walked in. – “Welcome to your third game.” – the emotionless woman said over the intercom. The pink suits parting ways to reveal more of the room. You gasped loud seeing the giant spinning platform. Carrousel horses stationed on a pedestal. – “The game you will be playing is Mingle.” – she explained over the speakers.

Swallowing nervously as you entered more. Seeing the circular room with colourful doors all around. Each having a number above them. – “Hey, we’ll be mingling together!” – you heard Thanos’s voice not far from you. Watching him jump happily up and down. – “Doesn’t that sound like so much fun.” – he added, being the only one this cheerful.

“You must form groups in that number, go into the rooms within 30 seconds.” – She continued to introduce over the speaker. All of you gathered near the spinning platform to strategize. Gi-hun looked concerned around him. – “If the number is higher than six, we’ll get the additional people we need.” – he spoke.

Dae-ho came leaning in closer with concern. – “What… what if the number is lower than six?” – he asked. Making Jun-hee and you look at each other with slight shock. – “We’ll figure it out as we go.” - Hyun-ju pitched in. Dae-ho moved his hand forwards. Jung-bae and Jun-hee joining in.

You took a deep breath, letting your hand join on theirs. Young-il’s warm hand going over yours. Gi-hun stared down at the joined hands, not sure about this round. It would take a lot for him to make sure everyone is save. With a deep exhale, he placed his hand with it. Parting ways to get onto the spinning platform.

“Let the games begin.” – the voice announced. Music blasted out of the speakers as the platform got in motion. The first movement nearly knocking you out of balance as it came so sudden. Gi-hun had grabbed you by your shoulder, allowing you to find sturdy ground first.

The platform slowly spinning as the music continued. Then the lights blacked out, making you gasp loud. – “Don’t be scared.” – you heard a voice say. Trying to steady your breathing, you held your hands together. The lights flashed on once more. Dunggeulge dunggeulge. Dunggeulge dunggeulge. You felt a shivering hand slip in yours. Looking over your shoulder to see it was Jun-hee.

Trembling to the bone. Binggeulbinggeul doragamyeo chumeul chupsida. The children’s song playing in the backround. Sonppyeogeul chimyeonseo, noraereul bureumyeo. Knowing it would soon come to an end and you would need to run for your lives. Looking around the platform, you saw Dae-ho standing not far from you. Seeing him focus hard.

Ready himself for when he needed to run. Rallallalla jeulgeoupge chumchuja. Gi-hun and Jung-Bae standing just in front of you. Ringgaringgaringga ringgaringgaring. Ringgaringgaringga ringgaringgaring. The sweet melody echoed through the room. If you might not be in this dangerous situation, you would’ve actually paid attention to the childhood memories tugging at your heartstrings.

Sone soneul japgo modu da hamkke. Jeulgeoupge ttwieo bopsida. The song ended as the platform came to a sudden stop. Making Jun-hee bump against you. – “Ten.” – The first number got announced. The timer counting down the moment she had announced the number. You grabbed Jun-hee’s hand firm as the lights had dimmed once more. Gi-hun and Jung-Bae overlooking everything.

“We need a few more!” – Gi-hun shouted loud. – “We have to hurry!” – Young-il said, coming closer. – “There’s no time, Gi-hun!” – he let out, tugging firm at his arm. Gi-hun nodded starting to run with the people he knew and those he knew barely that joined him. All of you got off the platform, running for a door. Holding on tight to Jun-hee’s hand, you practically squeezed it to death.

“Hurry!” – Jung-Bae shouted. – “Room 44, mom!” – Yong-sik called out, holding his mother’s hand firm. The lights flickered above your head. Panting loud as you followed the others to room 44. Feeling suddenly a hard tug on your hand, followed by a scream. Stopping you looked back at a man trying to take Jun-hee from you. – “Ya!” – you screamed out, kicking your foot at him. Punching your fist at him to let go of her arm. Jun-hee panting in fear.

“Y/n!” – Dae-ho’s voice came through. Having run back to punch the guy square in the face. He let go of Jun-hee as she nearly knocked you over. – “Hurry!” – Gi-hun shouted loud, watching the timer. Ten seconds. Dae-ho grabbed both you and Jun-hee’s shoulder, shoving you forwards. Hurrying over to room 44 as he pushed you inside.

You stumbled inside, tripping over your own feet. You yelped loud, thinking you would fall flat forwards if it weren’t for those sturdy arms to catch you. Shuddering out a breath, you looked up to Young-il. – “Are you alright?” – he asked with a deep stare. You could only hum, not able to utter out a word. The timer beeped, locking the door automatically.

Young-il helped you stand up straight. Gi-hun moving Jung-bae aside to look through the small gap in the door. Gun shots firing through the room as it made you cover up your ears. Knowing those who didn’t make it got slaughtered. Gi-hun lowered his head, knowing those people couldn’t be saved.

More pink suits entered to collect the dead. Bringing in black caskets with a pink ribbon. They cleared out the room as the doors unlocked once more. All of you stepping out carefully. The floors now smeared with blood. Young-il who was walking in front of you, gestured at a pool of blood, letting you know to be careful. You stepped over it, making sure you wouldn’t slip over the blood.

Returning to the spinning platform. Once again the song began, setting the platform in motion. Dunggeulge dunggeulge, dunggeulge dunggeulge. Looking over your shoulder, you saw Thanos and Nam-Gyu. Arms locked as they danced. It made you scoff at how unserious they were taking this. Ringgaringgaringga ringgaringgaring. Ringgaringgaringga ringgaringgaring. Dunggeulge dunggeulge.

The platform stopping all the sudden. Nearly knocking half of your friends off balance. – “Four.” – got called out over the speakers. You gasped, looking in shock back at your friends. What were you going to do now. The timer already counting down. – “You four go!” – Gi-hun called out, gesturing at you, Jung-bae, Dae-ho and Young-il.

“Wait!” – Young-il called out. – “No, you go!” – he let out, gesturing for you to get a move on. – “You guys, leave.” -  He took his leave, shouting that he needed three more people. – “Young-il!” – you screamed out, not wanting him to part. Gi-hun wrapped his arms around you, pulling you off the platform.

“Let’s go!” – he panted out. You needed to accept it and hope that he would be save. Turning around to run with Gi-hun to a room. The four of you entered. Fourteen seconds on the clock. Gi-hun staid by the door, looking outside to see people fight for their lives to find people to join. The timer beeped, locking the door once more.

Gi-hun exhaled loud as you sank to the floor. – “Y/n!” – Jung-bae called out in concern. – “Are… are you alright…” – he asked coming to kneel beside you. You blinked rapidly to keep your tears at bay. Suddenly not so sure anymore that everyone would make it out alive. Gi-hun moved closer to you, placing a hand on your knee.

“It will be alright Y/n. They will be okay.” – he reassured you. – “I know, I know.” – you breathed out, recollecting yourself. You had told yourself you wouldn’t be weak anymore, yet it was so hard for you to obtain that image. The doors opened once more as you all carefully stepped out. Your gaze settling on the number of players. 168. You desperately looked around for the others. Specially Young-il.

You knew he could handle himself, still you couldn’t help but worry. – “Y/n!” – you heard loud, making you look back. – “Brother Young-il!” – Jung-bae shouted loud as he came running over. Jung-bae ran up to him, throwing his arms around him. Young-il smiled, gently removing his hands from around him.

Young-il came closer, still with a smile on his lips. – “I knew it. You’re not just anybody.” – Jung-bae spoke praising Young-il. – “Ya! Mi-Chin-Nom!” – you called out, shoving Dae-ho aside to reach Young-il. Young-il got startled by your loud voice, eyes briefly widening as you came slapping his shoulder.

“Michossoyo? For leaving like that. For making me fear the worst!” – you shouted loud stopping your punching as you barely had any strength left. Panting loud.- “Mianhae.” – Young-il answered swallowing hard. You crossed your arms, not wanting to look at him. He had made you fear the worst. Young-il lowered his head a bit, reaching out to you to turn you back to him. – “Mianhae Y/n.”- he repeated in a soft tone.

Sighing loud, you wanted to remain mad at him, but you couldn’t deny being overjoyed to see him alive. You teared up, pushing his arms out of the way to hug him. Young-il’s arms hovering in the air as he got caught off guard. – “Babo.”– you whispered out, letting your forehead rub against his chest.

“All players, please step onto the centre platform.” – the woman’s voice cut through, making you pull away from him. All of you joined on the platform once more. Dunggeulge dunggeulge. Dunggeulge dunggeulge. Round and round the platform went. Smudges of blood all over the room. Even on the platform. You tried not to look at it. Jeulgeoupge ttwieo bopsida.

The platform stopping as it made you bump against Dae-ho. – “Three.” – boomed over the speakers, timer going in. Panic erupted between you all. They were taunting you and you knew the number would keep going down. – “The three of you go!” – Gi-hun called out to Dae-ho, Jun-hee and you. You looked back at Young-il. – “Go!” – he shouted out. You panted loud when Dae-ho grabbed you firm by your shoulders.

Dragging you to one of the rooms. The door closed as you shoved Dae-ho aside. Needing to see what was going on. Needing to see if you recognized anyone. – “Don’t look.” – Dae-ho panted out, covering up your eyes with his hand. The timer beeped, locking the door once more.

The gun shots coming in seconds later. Your body flinched at the sounds. Jumping out of your skin each time. Waiting for the shots to die out. Doors unlocked once more, making you walk out. Stepping over the pools of blood that had become endless. – “Y/n!” – you heard loud. Turning your head to see Hyun-ju run over.

Wrapping her arms tight around you. Relieved she exhaled, tightening her arms around you. Taking her hand, you walked back to the platform. A routine now as you had been doing the same thing over and over again. The music began once more, platform shifting. The song barely in the middle as the platform stopped.

Lights shutting out, only to flicker. – “Six.” – the number got announced. Gi-hun looked back at you all. Knowing what to do, you followed them running over to a door. Dae-ho reached the door first, opening it. Shuddering out a breath as the room was already full.

“Ya! Get out!” – a player called out, shoving Dae-ho back. – “What do we do now?” – Jun-hee asked with shaking knees. Hyun-ju tapped you on the shoulder, pointing at another door. All of you started running. The timer only at a few seconds. You screamed it out to push yourself to the limit. To keep up with Hyun-ju to reach the door. She shoved the door open as you all stumbled inside.

She remained at the door till someone slipped in, closing the door. It went to the lock a second later. – “Young-mi?” - Hyun-ju called out. Rushing towards the door, trying to open it but it was already locked. – “Young-mi.” – Geum-ja cried out seeing Young-mi stand just outside the door. Crying as Hyun-ju banged on the door, wanting it to open. Hyun-ju jumped back when the shot got fired.

Watching as Young-mi’s eyes got dull. Her body falling to the side, lifeless. – “Young-mi!” - Hyun-ju screamed in terror at the door. The doors opened again once the room had been cleared of bodies. You stepped out, looking for the others. Young-il turned his head, letting his gaze settle on you.

All of you returned to the platform. 126 players left. – “Stay close.” – Young-il told you as you nodded. Platform spinning as the music echoed through the room. – “What do you think it will be this time?” – Jung-bae asked Gi-hun. – “Two.” – Young-il answered firm.

His gaze firm on the doors. – “To thin out as much players and with the number of rooms available. The next number will be two. The rest will be killed.” – he ended. He reached back for you, taking your hand firm. Stretching his fingers before tightening them firmly around yours.

You swallowed nervously, knowing it was game-on. The last run for survival. The platform rumbled, coming to a stop. – “Two.” – the woman announced. Lights flashing as chaos erupted amongst the players.

Young-il jumped off the platform, running with you towards a door. His attention briefly to the timer. Players were running in every direction needing to manoeuvre to not get knocked back. Young-il let go of your hand. A player grabbing a door. Young-il pressed his hands deep onto the man’s shoulders, pulling him back. Tossing him aside.

Taking the door, he turned around, holding his hand out. – “Come!” – he panted out. You started to run suddenly grabbed. A man had grabbed you by your jacket, pulling you down. You stumbled back to the ground. The man jumping over you as he forced his way into the room. Young-il needing to back up.

“Ya!” – he called out kicking the man back, the door opening with a slam. The man stumbled back as Young-il kicked him once more. He tripped over your foot that you had extended. Young-il gasped loud seeing the timer. Seven seconds. You still laid on the ground. He knew helping you up would take too much time. Five seconds. Young-il’s jaw tensed as he bend down, grabbing your ankle.

“Young-il!” – you called out when he dragged you over the floor into the room. Two seconds. He jumped over you, closing the door with a pant. Locked. His breathing shallow, forehead resting against the door. He slightly turned as his feet gave away under him. Sending him down. – “Young-il!” – you called out, crawling over to him.

He needed to catch his breath, having worn himself out. He managed to breath out a laugh at the sight of you. Moving his hand up. Palm touching your cheek. – “Y/n.” – he breathed out. The strength in his hand faltering as you grabbed a hold of his wrist. Supporting his hand to remain against your cheek. Tears swelling up in your eyes.

The firing of bullets in the background. Your body shuddered as you tried to withhold your sobs. Young-il wiping a tear away with his thumb. You made room, pressing your head against his chest. Arms wrapping around him. Young-il moved one arm of his around your body. The other one joining in really quickly as he pulled his knees closer to his chest. Cradling you tighter in his embrace. – “Mianhae Y/n.”

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