#tbh i just want the 2018 fandom back and by god i will do my part to make it so

[quirkedupkicks]

im Olly💙

old head weeb, i draw things

bi trans guy

midoriya izuku is my son and i would commit a thousand atrocities for him

no i dont ship bkdk (yes im a tddk & krbk truther) but im an adult and can be chill abt it, i expect u to be the same

been around the fandom since 2018 and back at it again to celebrate the end !

art tag- ollyart

comic tag- the version of bnha that lives in my head

[avaetin]

I am also long overdue with this. I wanted to fill this up, but I was also busy the week of Christmas (work and personal projects), so I am only able to come back to this now.

"found a new ship I love": There are two actually. One is Nion and the other is Nicobaster.

"returned to a fandom I had left": I would say - officially - I left the PJO fandom back in 2016. I updated "Syncretism" once in 2018, thrice in 2020, and finished it to the very end this year. And the only reason I returned to the PJO fandom was because I really just wanted to finish "Syncretism". I was at that point where I didn't care if anyone read it or not, I just wanted to give myself a closure. And I did. But even after that, I continued writing for this fandom lol.

"learned a cool thing from a fic (or from writing a fic): Too many to mention tbh lol. Personally, I keep learning cool things while writing a "A Kairos Moment". Like how there is a goddess named Bia who is associated with Ananke. Coincidence or fate? Lol

"made a fandom friend": So, this is actually interesting. Because I am horrible with interacting with people. I only interact with people who interact with me, and only if they do interact with me on multiple occasions. But I do want to interact with people, and I encourage anyone to interact with me. Just know that I'm horrible at reading social cues. But, I do have confidence to say that I have made a few fandom friends. 👉👈 [Tags: @drksanctuary, @yonemurishiroku, @books4evermorr, @namiisei, @haiseiscute333, @sunshines-child] Thanks for sticking around and dealing with my not-so occasional nonsense lol! If I missed anyone, it's not because I don't consider you one, but again, I suck at reading social cues. 👉👈

"fell in love with a new headcanon": I think my favorite one was Nico travelling around the world. And just people reblogging and adding that they would adopt him. That was the most notable one.

"fell in love with a new character": Aeon and Alabaster. In that order. (Sorry @drksanctuary---)

"hit a milestone worth celebrating": I actually hit two, I guess. This is just a personal thing. So, officially, I wrote 503,678 words this year. Which is a lot for me, considering I've never written that much ever before. And of course, finished my first ever long, multi-chaptered fic which was "Syncretism". ❤

"met or made a new OC": My Lord, My God, The King to my Prince--- Aeon. (Though, now that I think about it, is he really---) Oh. I did mention some characters, like the son of Eris, but they don't have any significance to the story so I don't think they can be considered...?

"got even more unhinged about a character": Nico di Angelo can vouch for this.

"participated in a fandom event": Surprisingly, I did! I didn't think I would lol! It's the jasico event this year.

[ripeteeth]

20 questions for fic writers

Thanks for the tag, @another-lost-one!

How many works do you have on ao3?

106, all in. (105 under ripeteeth, 1 orphaned)

What's your total ao3 word count?

966,792. God, I'd love to hit 1 million before the end of the year, but that's extremely unlikely.

What fandoms do you write for?

Way too many. The main are: The Terror, MDZS, Disco Elysium, Harry Potter, Good Omens.

What are your top five fics by kudos?

Salinity (And Other Measurements of Brackish Water) [Good Omens]: 3094 how a resurrection really feels [Disco Elysium]: 1479 Vigil Strange [The Magnus Archives]: 1266 the art of asking your boss for a raise [Succession]: 1154 no son of mine [Beyond Evil]: 993

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to, but I get easily overwhelmed and sometimes don't. I feel awful about it, I'm so sorry. I am so grateful for every comment, truly.

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I guess it depends what you consider angstier? I have some centered around grief and loss and some focused on fucked-up relationships and characters continuing to make choices that hurt them. It's kind of cheating to say Asterius is my choice, considering that I haven't published the end of it yet, but anyone familiar with the story of Theseus and the Minotaur should hear the beat of the story I'm telling there.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

For some reason, I think it's either The Passion or How A Resurrection Really Feels. A believable happiness feels the most relatable to me, and two middle-aged, damaged-but-still-here-godammit men finding a bit of comfort in the midst of all of it just feels right. Like a comfortable boiled wool jacket just a little big in the shoulders. The one that smells like your father's cologne. That kind of warmth.

Do you get hate on fics?

Yeah. It was really bad for awhile, and was the main reason I left Good Omens and turned off comments and orphaned Salinity. I'm pretty desensitized to it now.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I write pretty much only smut. I don't know what I'd categorize it as other than that tbh.

Do you write crossovers?

No, never felt the interest.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No, I don't think so.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yeah! It was a really cool experience and I felt really honored.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No. I've tried to but I'm terrible at it. It doesn't help that I've had terrible writer's block for the past several years though.

What's your all-time favorite ship?

I have no idea how to answer this. All of them I've ever shipped?

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Revachol Calling. God, I want to finish it so badly. There was a very specific something in me while I was writing it, and then a lot of everything happened. Anyway, I've lost it, that je ne sais quoi. I started replaying Disco Elysium again recently, so maybe it will come back. Here's hoping.

What are your writing strengths?

Imitation. Hearing the music in a sentence. Being fascinated by everything and bogging the reader down in necklaces of useless fact.

What are your writing weaknesses?

See above, turn it up to eleven.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?:

Not unless I'm reasonably fluent and confident in the language.

First fandom you wrote for:

Ghost Story, for Harry Potter, first posted in December 2018. It's surreal to think that it's been five years. What a strange five years.

Favorite Fic You've Written?

Either Revachol Calling (for Disco Elysium) or Blood, Bones, and Butter (for MDZS). I think there's something deeply personal about Revachol Calling that both makes me struggle with it but also resonate the most with it.

For Blood, Bones, and Butter, it was one of the more fun fics I've ever written and I really enjoyed being able to add layers to what the reader knew by simply adding an additional viewpoint, kinda triangulating their messy beginning through three men who are each extremely certain that they're correct. (Yeah, I'd watched Rashomon recently, why do you ask). That's the fascinating thing about songxuexiao for me, each of them is so certain they've got the others all figured out, but they're also all holding back aspects of their own interiority.

Either way, they're both important to me.

Tagging: @pearwaldorf, @et-in-arkadia, @danpuff-ao3, and anyone else who likes!

[eldritch-nightmare]

you seem like the type of person whos tried making a creepypasta before this isn't an insult or anything by the way thats just the vibe i get from you

thank you??

you would be correct. i did try writing a creepypasta, way back when i was 12 years old. i didn't. never finished her bc i utterly despised writing back then. it was like... the bane of my existence. my worst enemy.

this anon is now going to provide top-secret v lore bc memories flooded my brain when i saw it so!! pretend there's nostalgic piano music playing magically in the air as i clear my throat.

ahem.

if you knew me from 2014 to roughly 2017 or 2018 (which i certainly hope you do not) then you already know this but i used to rp in this fandom. heavily. on quotev dot com. i still do rp, though not for creepypasta anymore because i lost contact with the people i used to rp with. i do however like making random accounts on q bc i made a jeff the killer account and i also plan on making a bloody painter one and also perchance maybe a nina one bc i have no sense of self control.

so, fun fact, all the creepypasta roleplays i did is what honestly made me get into writing but anyways.

i typically just roleplayed as the creepypastas since that's what everyone else did, y'know? original characters and self-inserts were looked down upon at the time because people thought it was 'cringe' and because i desperately wanted to be cool and accepted, i never really. roleplayed as my ocs. not that i had any fleshed out enough to rp as but. we'll get to that in a moment.

so, the three creepypastas that i roleplayed as exclusively, never once rping as any other because my mind latched onto them and refused to fucking let go, was homicidal liu, and both jane the killers. but mostly jane arkensaw. i love arkensaw so much it makes me look like a fool, honestly, and the way that i write her today is still heavily influenced by how i used to write her when i would roleplay. i never wanted to stop roleplaying for creepypasta because they are so near and dear to my heart but a lot of stuff was going on at the time and my friends at the time had moved on from the fandom so i just... stopped.

now, on the topic of ocs. i never had a fully fleshed out creepypasta oc. i always found it difficult to make one?? because it felt like there were a bunch of guidelines on how to properly make an oc so the oc wasn't 'cringe' or whatever and i found the whole thing to be tedious and annoying so i just never properly made an oc. i would come up with concepts, and would even draw some out every now and then but i threw all those drawings out.

i was, and still am, however, a big fucking fan of self-inserts. i only ever rped as a self-insert with one person bc they were the only person i knew that was chill with it and self-shipping and fucking hell it was the best rp i have ever done in my entire writing career nothing has ever compared to it man. the way we did it was we would control our two characters, our self-inserts, and then i would control the character they wanted to be shipped with and they would control the character i wanted to be shipped with. you... you can guess who that was i don't have to tell you, you already know. and we would make our self-inserts friends and have them interact and then they would meet the two creepypastas they were gonna get shipped with and it would slowly branch off so they'd have their own things going on so it was like two separate stories that still connected, and we would discuss what to do next in the rp in a separate message and.

god. it was one of the best moments of my life, excitedly sitting there and continuously checking my notifs, waiting to see a notification telling me they replied to our rp. i miss it, truly. both roleplaying with a friend and roleplaying as a self-insert. i never understood why self-shipping was frowned upon back then, because it was probably the most fun and cathartic thing i've ever done tbh.

thankfully, i've grown and no longer feel the need to please people so i happily and proudly ship myself with characters <3

anyways this got way off track to the anon uh, sorry. but!! special v lore!! yippee!! the more you know, i guess.

[jack-kellys]

I am predictable do give me Race

i shall give you the guy <3

send me a fandom/ship/character and i’ll say some stuff!!

ok!

How I feel about this character:

honestly i really was rockin with this guy for a long time bc of ralbert 2018 renaissance, then i lost my vibe with him! i didn’t like a fair share of interpretations of him, he was getting almost like too goofy and his relationship with jack i think was sort of. exaggerated in a way that tried to confuse canon with fanon and i wasn’t big on 92sies at the time so i was like. they speak like. 5 times to each other. but NOW? i have figured out a racetrack in my head that i rly like, also uksies happened and i LOVE josh barnett’s sort of return to 92sies race- more hardcore, bruiser type, actually smokes. he’s very cool. if anyones “the blowhard”, it’s him- jack serves this warm parental role, crutchie is this older brother type, and race is very on-the-ground rallying the troops at all times. i like it

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character:

ralbert all the way✊🏼!! what’s funny is if it’s a centered fic it’ll be ralbert but if it’s a background relationship to a diff ship i think i do sprace a lot to appease the masses tbh

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character:

race and crutchie. race crutchie jack. the manhattan trifecta. my god. their group hug when crutchie comes back….. man.

My unpopular opinion about this character:

honestly i wish the peppy jokester perception of him would chill. 92sies was snarky and laid back, livesies was. kind of… bubbly nervous?? and uksies is again the blowhard abrasive type. like for me 92sies and uksies appeals much more to me guys idk i think the fandom just wanted a comic relief character that the show itself doesn’t contextually provide. (because it’s the ensemble. it is the newsies as a whole. that’s. that’s the point they can FILL ANY ROLE-)

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

oh wow idk. i wish crutchie had called for him when the delanceys were dragging his ass to jail, like… idk why he’s calling for elmer yk. that would’ve been a good nod for race’s positionality within the group. OR TBH i wish king of new york was more obviously a ploy for race and like dave to raise the boys’ spirits with katherine!!! like if she was asking dave and race abt where jack was, gave her a quick update on the vibes, she like…shows them the paper before the rest of the boys’ rq and then KONY plays out.

Favorite friendship for this character:

i do like the older boy friendship of the trio (race al and finch). like if i was “missing out” on anything with uksies it’s race and albert not being in sync anymore

thanks claire!!

[boltlightning]

tagged by the lovely @aloveforjaneausten, thank you so much!!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 49!

2. What's your total AO3 words count? 315,193. god help me

3. What fandoms do you write for? actively just the one (potc), but the bulk of my ao3 is final fantasy vii, fullmetal alchemist, and assassin’s creed. almost all of my unpublished personal stuff is dragon age. one day it’ll see the light of day. one day

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

a house, a hearth, a (s)holmes (the great ace attorney, 2021)

good company (fullmetal alchemist, 2016)

heart & home (fma, 2017)

the need of everything (fma, 2018–2020)

benchfellows (ff7, 2020)

i'm proud of all of these but flabbergasted by benchfellows, which is 800 words and something i wrote and posted impulsively at like 2am. but. yknow. the kudos are beyond my power.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? almost always! nothing makes you forget how to say “thank you” like a normal human being than comments on your work!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? almost everything i write ends on a melancholy note, but o sleeper (ff7) is probably the worst of them. and that’s really just the threat of canon rearing its head

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? the storm at your door (assassin’s creed) was specifically written to give ezio and sofia a better ending than what they got in canon, and by god i stand by it

8. Do you get hate on fics? thankfully not!

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind? nah. i don’t particularly enjoy reading smut, nor do i have any talent for making it not sound stilted. sex will get hinted at but rarely do i write anything more explicit than someone’s bits being out in the wind

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? have you heard the good word of my potc/temeraire crossover that is getting quickly out of hand? and till the long days (AC) is not NECESSARILY a crossover, but entwines the world of AC with greek mythology in a major way.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? / 12. Have you ever had a fic translated? / 13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before? nope to all three!

14. What's your all-time favourite ship? i don’t ship much tbh, and while i wouldn’t say i’m the most fond of them, my longest lasting ship has been cloud/aerith. we’re going on 18 years together and i’d be lying if i said they weren’t part of why i started writing in the first place

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? lmao. most ideas i don’t finish i’m content to leave as they are. however, i have one novelization about my dragon age character going through the events of the trespasser dlc that i desperately want to finish, but i’m such a stickler to the dialogue that exists in-game that i’m hamstringing myself. i like the ideas there enough to revisit it every now and then, so it’s not totally a lost cause, but...it's not looking likely gang.

16. What are your writing strengths? lord knows i know how to set a scene. everything i write is in service of eventually getting to describe sunlight or perhaps weather. know this whenever you read something i wrote.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? i’m desperately bad at just…stepping back and letting a scene breathe. i NEED to explain everything even if it’s obvious. i also am very guilty of describing what happens in prose rather than letting it play out naturally in dialogue. it’s remarkable how much i avoid dialogue without even realizing it

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? eh. it can be used well, but i just speak the one language fluently, so i doubt it’d be a fun or worthwhile bilingual bonus for any reader.

19. First fandom you wrote for? it’s either kingdom hearts or inkheart, and it certainly does not exist anywhere anymore. pour one out

20. Favourite fic you've ever written? my answer changes every time i’m asked this. sticking with the recency bias answer of steadfast and dependable (potc), as i''ve been really into the themes in that fic recently

tagging @johnbly @thesumdancekid and anyone else who might want to snag this <3

[zmwrites]

Tag: 2022 Writer Wrap-Up!

I was tagged by @whimsyqueen​! Thank you! And please ignore that I’m filling this well into February.

I think these were originally for fanfic writers or writers who write short fiction, so my answers might be boring lol. Also please forgive if I reference things from 2021, as time has congealed into a giant ball since mid-2018.

Total number of completed works: uhhh none? oops. I’m very much a long form writer and I have a full time job so finishing things takes me a while

Total number of WIPs worked on this year: maybe 16? but most of them were just a few lines or developing ideas.

WIPs neglected this year: Indigo Wars Book 1 😬 sry bby. and Remnants which hasn’t been touched in a while.

Fandoms I've written in: none :( all og fiction

Total word count: oh god probably over 80k? maybe over 100k? i should really start keeping track

Looking back, did you write more than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you expected? definitely less. i moved back in with my parents in early 2022 and had a lot of trouble writing after that. i’m hoping to turn that around in 2023 (or move out again to protect my free time).

Did you take any writing risks this year? i started a new wip that centres around a love triangle that becomes a poly triad, and i have genuinely no idea how to write that! the risk did not get very far as i’m now stuck on the set up for the actual plot lol

Do you have any goals for the new year? write more! as i said, 2022 and the first part of 2023 have been really hard in terms of writing and i want to turn that around. i’d also really like to FINALLY finish editing the current draft of Indigo Wars 1 and prep it for querying, then start editing Remnants

Biggest disappointment? probably my overall productivity, i really wanted to write more and it just didn’t happen

Biggest surprise? i started another new world with multiple stories set in it, which i said i wasn’t going to do after how much of a headache the vario world has given me. ah well!

Most popular story of the year? lol Remnants!! people love that story even if i didn’t write anything for it this year

What's your own favourite story of the year? also Remnants i honestly think it might be my best project to date and it makes me doubt all of my other projects

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: Indigo Wars!! non of y’all seem to like IW and i don’t know why

Most fun story to write: hmm Just Jane or Open Seas, they’re both absolute delights

Most unintentionally telling story: tbh they’re most telling as a whole, when you realize that almost all of them are about women who think they’re full of rage but are actually full of grief

My favourite part of writeblr this year: my friends!! honestly they’re the reason i stick around even when my creative output is subzero

i’m not going to tag anyone bc of how far into 2023 we are, but if anyone wants to do it, feel free to steal it!

(this also made me realize i finished Remnants over a year ago which is absolutely wild)

[angstandhappiness]

DUDE

@perfectharmonyloveschaos #kratos being afraid that he will influence his son to be like him: is a distant and somewhat neglectful father#his son: is so much like him only a smaller ball of rage that neither realise he also inherited from his mom#i love this so much#i wish there was an option to have blood in the game rather than it always vanishing#it would be so cool#gross#but cool

@butlerkitty this scene made me feel So Much... poor atreus. little boy :(

@the-awakened-insomnis This scene wasn't bloody enough in game. I like this drawing really scary. Also Atreus fuckin eyes💀

@aussiepineapple1st Just about It was exactly like that

@lovecraft-enjoyer kratos' eyes went through the 7 stages of grief

@tamanbunga123 Which scene is this

@dmzira @tamanbunga123 when Kratos is in the light of Alfheim, for him its a few minutes but in reality it was much much longer and Atreus had been fighting the elves by himself until he pulled his father out of the light. Kratos was mad (I dont remember why but I think he was pulled out just as he started hearing Faye) and Atreus snaps back that Kratos abandoned him again and scream asks why he doesn't care. The wording and realization of how long he had been 'gone' seems to shook him a lot

@the-support-character You draw Atreus so Skrunkly it makes me happy

@cutietears This scene is my abandonment issues/trauma fr :(

@dessertwaffle The way you drew this is just so Right. Thank you so much. I’m alive. Love you. You’re doing amazing.

@threi @dessertwaffle thank youuuuuu 😭

@renatogpadilla The EXACT moment Kratos knew how much he fucked up.

@starcourts #.jpeg#this shit fucking hurt !!!!#thinking abt the interview w sunny where he says he cringed at his performance in the og game bc he feels like he could do better but then#there were scenes like this that were so ….

@lacm-ac Ah kids...#just kids being kids haha

@fruitstealer #this was messed up i agree atreus

@anathash #gods same same#it was traumatic though 🫠

@forgedobsidian #oh that child is TRAUMATIZED traumatized

@just-in-the-nickleback-of-time #drawing Atreus as a little Creature TM is correct

@blackrabbit-megapig #Atreus yelling at his father about how much he wants Kratos to love him#while they’re surrounded by the piles of bodies of dead elves Atreus killed#will never not be funny to me

@peiskos-and-apricity #I become absolutely feral every time i see this scene somewhere#just absolutly tearing things apart while I scream#that child just murdered thousands of dark elves and was more concerned about his dad not coming back#like BRO#how are you not FUCKING DEAD#absolutely insane#i love him#also love how perfectly you captured his 'tiny pathetic wet cat of a child' and 'literally covered in the blood of his enemies'

@candlesofthebog #So Atreus? Still giddy to wield the axe?

@livingbythecreed #sunny's voice acting in this is just wow... broke my heart

@mayormimii #even covered in blood he’s the 🥺 emoji#okay but jokes aside that line stuck with me and i’m glad someone else seems to be thinking about it too#angsty 2018 atreus….my beloved

@botopsy #and then kratos just like NOT TELLING HIM WHAT HAPPENED#bc he's just Like That#u love to see the character flaws as they grow

@fandom-blackhole #just played through this part#and i mean atreus was a little scary during that scene ngl#but also like i just wanted to give him a hug bc fuck he went through it

@theholytoaster #god i love this#its so true#kratos get your stoic ass and get EMOTION OUT

@gaysparkler #GOD WHEN HE PULLS YOU OUT OF THE LIGHT AND YOU SEE ALL THE BODIES AROUND#AND THEN KRATOS TRIES TO CONNECT WITH HIM BUT ATREUS PUSHES AWAY ANY ATTEMPT HE MAKES#baby boy. baby.#kratos is trying so hard#HE CARES!!! HE DOES CARE!!!!!!!! HE JUST DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO SHOW IT#i need to replay ghjkdshgjshgjk#op your baby atreus is truly one of the best depictions of him i've seen

@k4ik4yk04 #// HIS STUPID GOOFY EYES GO GET HIS ASS . BOY !!!! this is so good

@ixorahh #top ten crazy moments tbh#tiny atreus literally bodying every enemy BY HIMSELF in order to protect his dad

@majjiktricks #ohh hes a fucked up little guy!

@changelinghearts #i forgot how bloodthirsty atreus was in gow 2018#my man was a little menace

@chorkless #nah atreus was valid for that#this fucks byw i love this

@bird-wells2144 #i think about this scene so often#something something metaphor something something

@ronsenboobi #the Horrors!!!

@aggressivekeyboard #wish the scene had been as fucked up as this#give that boy the Horrors#but this slaps

@acute-octogon #ooof pain#hug him and build a lyre with him please

@din-skywalker #this is why you need to hug your son more#and he does in r :)

@the-poorgroomsbride #love this scene#boy really let it all out#loved this whole chapter tbh#except the dark elf king guy he kicked my ass royally the first time#took me like two hours to beat him#and I was REFUSING to lower the difficulty#I was at the balanced level#do you have something to say boy#I SAID THE ONLY TIME YOU WANT TO TALK TO ME IS WHEN YOU WANT SOMETHING#god tier

@sapphcon-ic #fucking sick#wanna see a flashback of atreus defending himself against dark elves so bad

favorite scene

[actuallyitsstar]

🫓 What is your most popular fic?

🥘 What category do most of your fics fall under?

🍛 Have any comments, tags or reactions to one of your fics every made you laugh or cry or both?

🍢 Have you ever gotten hate on a fic?

🍣 What helps you focus or get in the mood to write?

🍥 What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

✨ send me an emoji and ask me about my fanfic! ✨

🫓 : what is your most popular fic?

this is most certainly time takes no prisoners (you'll see). very much hands down, very much no contest lol 😅

🥘: what category do most of your fics fall under?

found family lol. what can i say. something about it does in fact hit different for me. i always want more and the brainrot is never ending and it's arguably not the most popular fic genre, so when i run out of content in the fandom of choice atm, i start making my own lol

🍛: have any comments, tags or reactions to one of your fics every made you laugh or cry or both?

well, yes, for starters, several of yours!! 💗 like when someone leaves a nice/heartfelt and/or detailed comment on my silly little fics i am quite LITERALLY screaming crying (and only metaphorically throwing up) about it. that shit does in fact mean the most to me and i wouldn't push myself to actually try and do things i don't feel very good at if people did not seem to want me to do it, so when people feel Some Type of Way after reading something i wrote that is the ultimate goal. i wouldn't write stuff if i didn't want whoever's reading it to connect with and remember it, so i connect just as much back when they do!

🍢 : have you ever gotten hate on a fic?

thankfully i actually haven't yet!

🍣 : what helps you focus or get in the mood to write?

oof tbh i think me being ~in the mood to write~ is controlled by the whims of deities interested only in toying with me 😭😭 ive learned that even if i am not exactly in the mood i have to just Do it. and eventually i will either stop bc im like wow everything i am writing right now absolutely sucks! or i will get into it and figure out a whole bunch of shit and write 5k words. there is basically no in between lmao

🍥 : what’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

this is also gonna have to be time takes no prisoners. it is kind of a big first fic for me- longest, first top gun fic, first fic to rly get comments or kudos, most chapters, fic i am the most proud of, first series based work, etc etc- and the story (though obviously not my own, as it IS just a retelling of largely canonical events i can't take any credit for) means the absolute world to me. it's probably going to wind up being my fanfic magnum opus lol. it is always gonna hold a special place in my heart. i just adore this fandom and these characters and i just akdhdjhfjfhf love everything about the whole mav-is-bradleys-dad shit and the by extension found-family-w-people-mav-knows shit. it is just major *chefs kiss* for me <3

if i needed to give a more creative answer in the pre ttnp timeline (bc that is how it feels sometimes lol. there is pre and post ttnp/top gun brainrot and nothing in between), i'd have probably said all this effort to make it look effortless, which was the first writing of any kind i had done since like 2018 or something idk. i wrote and posted it last year, not too long before i began to write ttnp (it was actually right before i saw tgm at all), and it's for the world's most obscure fandom and it's very very self indulgent and i rly did just write it for myself, there's like under 50 fics in that fandom and mine has less hits than that lol. but i was and am very proud of it! (tho w the hindsight of rereading i hate the formatting so much god learn to use paragraph breaks what is wrong with you aaaaaaa).

[dwtisgay]

i think this fandom, myself included, has a blind spot when it comes to any bbh knowledge so this is interesting to read! how much do you think the others know about him? like no one knows anything or if there are tiers, say skeppy and dream know some stuff and the rest nothing? i'd take a whole essay tbh you're like the bbh biographer

thank you its fun to share my knowledge about this sphere since I've spent so much time over the years collecting info and I've picked up a couple things here and there I theorize that skeppy's knowledge from 2018-20 is very limited and that it wasn't till 2021 that he became a bit close to bad but even then the extent of that was narrow as for the dteam I'll also touch on that briefly because it is connected to the skeppy things but its harder to tell with them just because they've known bad for a decade now and even he isnt that good at keeping things secret

skeppy didn't know where bad lived (if i recall this clip is from end of 2019 early 2020) even though he has made videos centered around buying and sending him items and they've been friends for a year by then

funnily enough this is one of those moments where skeppy exposes bad most likely isn't in Florida

in the drunk stream, in the same vain, he asks chat if they know bad if bad is straight or not there are multiple streams and clips of skeppy asking bad innocent questions and bad dodging and obfuscating to the point that skeppy just starts going "oh you're avoiding it again" in an annoyed tone bad's mcc coins go to skeppy because he refuses to give scott his address, skeppy cant send them to bad because I assume he still doesn't know where he is, or bad wants skeppy to keep them and then there is this

timestamps for 1:41:50 when the topic is first brought up, later expanded on at 3:01:00

we know bad has his saturday streams but he always tends to start those streams late because he claims he overslept! this stream we find out the reason he oversleeps is because he is actually waking up at 5 am every saturday and this is news to puffy, but skeppy and ant seem to have known about this for a long time but they don't know WHY he does it, bare in mind skeppy has been friends with bad for 4 years, ant has been friends with him for 9 years

later on after bad does go to bed at 3:01:00 the topic is revisited as they try and guess what the fuck does bad do at 5 am on a Saturday

bad is a chronic late nighter so this whiplashed puffy

skeppy says

"literally every friday he has to go to bed at like this time because he used to wake up at like five in the morning for something and he won't tell me what it is"

if you watch this clip through youll note that skeppy is used to this behavior while puffy is incredulous

puffy then asks him

 how? you talk to bad every day and he doesn't tell you what he does on saturdays???

and he replies

no but like that's the thing like he'll tell me like anything else but he won't tell me why he needs to wake up that early on saturday like you know when you ask him a question he doesn't want to answer it so he's like and then he doesn't answer it oh my god that's like the saturday question i'm still trying to find out i'm like investigating

ant is pretty quiet throughout this but he also doesn't know, but this really puts into focus how skeppy and bad have interacted throughout the years, skeppys rough boundary play never really went away, sure they've set some no go zones by finding them out the hard way, but things like what bad does on saturydays or evasive questions, to skeppy are games that he wants to find out and grow closer to bad by bad then JOINS BACK at 3:04:00 I assume because he was worried about the topic of discussion

after bad joins he claims he wakes up at 5 am to drink coffee with people, ant then tries guessing if he knows what it is and bad avoids answering him then skeppy jealous of ant's knowledge asks him to confirm if ant got it right and bad said ant only guessed Something right

so what does this show us? the people who have known bad for 9 years dteam included are not immune to bad's dodgyness but they have an advantage of having known him for so long that they have picked up things he drops here and there skeppy has only known him for 4 years and seems to be active in trying to figure out bad as opposed to munchymc crew who have just been passively picking up knowledge

there are a couple inconsistencies like I do think dream at least has to know bad's name for legal purposes because they have a merch deal together, and I do think skeppy does know bad's name by now because he was also going to do a merch deal with him but anything else? fair game, no clue what they would know and what they wouldn't know

[immortallindemann]

Hiiiiii I'm a new Maggie stan (just started listening when suckerpunch debuted) and I always love the boots Mags is wearing, do you know any brands she wears by any chance. I need new brands cause like all the ones I have are by some old brands that no longer make boots. I can't keep wearing all these old combats and cowboys 😭

hello!!! welcome to the fandom!! its always nice to have new people on board 😌 omg I have been dying for someone to ask me this!!!!

Maggie sold a lot of the old boots- that I personally loved- on depop (which broke my heart a little, not gonna lie 😭) but, we love a short queen that wears platform boots 99% of the time!! honestly though? I think she wears pretty much any main-stream platform boot brand! but here's the main ones:

Demonia! Mags has had a few of these over the past year or so! she's had the really popular Swing 815's, and she's also owned the Kera's in white too! (i cant find a photo of her wearing the white Kera's because she only ever wore them once for a photoshoot for Swixxz!) the boots in the picture are also Demonia's, but they can be found on the Dolls Kill website and the boots are called 'Stomp You Out'. (she wears them A LOT) if you dont want to support Dolls Kill, some very similar Demonia's are the Ashes! i have them, and they're probably my most worn platform boots!

New Rock! she still has these ones specifically, they're on the pricer side though... but from what ive heard, the company makes good quality boots that last a long time!! I dont know what these ones are called on the New Rock website as there's quite a few different variations of the same design, but they're called the Knife Combat Boots on Dolls Kill's website!

Dolls Kill! she's had a few pairs from Dolls Kill's in-house brands, like Club Exx and Current Mood. The top picture is Club Exx's Luna Rude Awakening boots, and the second picture is the Reality Bytes platform boots (which I also have!)

Naked Wolf! she sometimes wears these ones, along with the really popular platform trainers that everyone has! (idk the names of the shoes, sorry!)

Killstar! she used to wear the Broom Rider boots EVERYWHERE back in 2018, and my god, I fell in love with Maggie because of those exact boots! she's since sold them (and ill never be over it)

Roc! this picture doesnt really show them well enough, but Maggie has had a few pairs of Roc boots (yes, the Australian school shoes brand...) they gave her a few boots last year as part of a brand deal, and she's kept the white pair that they gave her! she doesn't wear them all that often, so I cant really find any other good pictures of them!

Moonboot! yeah. them. (mixed feelings on them tbh lol) and she's got them in both colours! Mags has worn these during quite a few performances now, including: the Life Support Tour and Paranoia Live at The Roxy!

Lamoda! i think she only really wears these for photoshoots, but they're a frequent in her wardrobe nonetheless! the ones pictured are called the 'Loco For Laces' chunky high platform boot.

Doc Martin's! Mags had a pair of the platform DMs that she used to wear all the time in 2019, but they've since been sold on depop... rip.

Special mentions:

Puma X Fenty platform trainers *sold on depop, but they were worn heavily from 2017-2018

Rick Owens! i know these arent boots, and they're some insane price (like. $1,000 or something like that...) but Mags wears these A LOT.

TUK UK *sold on depop, only really worn for a magazine photoshoot

[lesbiancarat]

how do you look at Jun and see a fuckboy ksksksksks I just don’t understand he’s literally so adorable and ornery

it's baffling to me too djfkfj

but if you want a genuine answer for how i think that happened though i think it was in part pledis characterizing him as a "handsome guy" and partly bc jun was a LOT quieter back then, like he actually admitted recently that he didn't talk much when they first debuted bc he was afraid of saying something wrong ;-;

like i said in my tags, i don't think his personality was all that different back then, he had moments of cuteness and moments of self-praise. but bc he didn't talk as much generally, it was easier to brush aside/not focus on some things. and like now we see jun's self-praise as endearing and part of his cuteness, but i think back in the day it was easy to pair the self love with his handsome image and assume a confident and almost arrogant character. and then the cuteness was seen either as a secondary aspect or was ignored to fit the narrative

and then of course those traits got exaggerated more and more which tends to happen with fandom in general. and this definitely happened with other members too, but i think of SVT, jun's case might be the most extreme (? if that's the right word to use). not just bc the image he had among the fandom contrasted so much w his personality (bc i think that's pretty common) but mostly bc of how long and widespread that image lasted

like others might have a different perception, but from my perspective, when i joined the fandom in 2017 that image was still very much alive. it wasn't until 2018 with CYZJ and SVT club that i saw that image start to be challenged widely in the fandom. and honestly i don't think it was until 2020 (with 2020 gose especially) that his cute image completely overtook/erased his sort of fuckboy image

like from 2018-2019 his cute image was definitely building so if you became a carat at that time you might not be that familiar with his old image, but it was definitely still present in the fandom. but from my memory i swear 2020 was the first time I saw people, including non-huihuis consistently introduce jun as the "funny or cute member" as opposed to "the handsome member" or even something more neutral like "one of the chinese members"

also u know those posts ppl make about their bias where they're frustrated that others don't see them as complex human beings? the ones that are formatted something like: "guys [member] isn't just [x trait], they're also [other traits]". i swear to god i did not see huihui's start off posts like that saying "guys jun isn't just the funny/cute member" until 2020. before that it was always something like, "guys jun isn't just the handsome member"

and the first time I saw it I was SO confused bc i was like??? but don't we WANT jun to be seen as the funny/cute member? like that's a side of him so many ppl haven't seen or paid attention to for YEARS we should be celebrating the fact ppl are finally seeing him this way. but it really has become his main image now DHFKFJ (which i still think is a good thing, at least compared to the alternative)

didn't mean to ramble so much again but tbh the more i think about it the more wild it is to me that this whole thing happened. like it kind of feels like a fever dream esp when i think about the fact that a lot of this happened relatively recently, but you wouldn't know it at all if you just joined the fandom in the last 2 or even 3 years

[voidendron]

tagged by @vespertine-legacy for a Get to Know the Blogger - thanks, November! :D

1. why did you choose your url?

okay, so there's actually a bit of story behind it so this answer's gonna be long.

I was a roleplayer...god. years ago (6? ish years ago?), for the Transformers fandom, and because of the character I played, I got called "Blitz" and the nickname just kinda stuck, even after I left that fandom. before I'd realized I was trans, my username had "Queen" in it, and I had a separate account for RPing as that character. well, I had both accounts logged into the chat at the same time once cause I'd been chatting on my main, then decided to hop onto the RP one and forgot to disconnect my main (DeviantArt Chat, haha), someone didn't know which one to tag to get my attention, so just caps-locked BLITZQUEEN at me

it didn't take long for me to change my user to that. I eventually drifted away from that fandom, but I decided to name my mascot Blitz for the nostalgia

I started to get uncomfortable with my user, realized I was trans, and started looking for alternatives to the "queen" part of it. I came across the word "indite" which is a synonym for "write." I liked how symmetrical the I's were from each other in "Blitzindite," so decided to roll with it

so yes. my username is literally just "Blitz Writes" (it's also why my writing tag is "blitz indites")

2. any sideblogs?

@thevehszlegacy - where I keep track of my SWTOR OCs. needs updated, but soooo nice to have for sorting reasons

@swtor--screenshots - haven't posted there in a long while, but as the username says

@fr-thecollectors - my Flight Rising blog. currently in an inactive phase on FR, but I still adore my dragons there

@jse--deep-blue-sea - I had a crossover fic from my previous fandom that I stopped writing like two years ago, but decided to try and at least finish it now (mostly bc of the Subnautica part of the crossover). I only post chapters there so I can keep this blog to Star Wars content

I've got a few others I don't really touch anymore, but these are the notable ones

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

2018

4. why did you originally start your blog?

JSE and Markiplier Egos

5. why did you choose your icon?

my current one is my SWTOR main, but I usually have a gas mask one because my mascot has one in place of his face

6. why did you choose your header?

Aesthetic™

but I just really really love that screenshot. one of my favorites I've ever taken

7. what's your post with the most notes?

art from my previous fandom. not gonna link it because of eyestrain (glitching effects) and blood/gore. in this fandom, my post about being able to use headpieces (even the toothpick!!!!) to hide Vette's shock collar in vanilla

8. how many mutuals do you have?

uhhhhhh

idk

is there even a way to check that?

9. how many followers do you have?

249

10. how many blogs do you follow?

71

11. have you ever made a shitpost?

yeeee. my followers are probably tired of my dumb posts tbh aksjld;sldk

12. how many times do you use tumblr a day?

If I'm on my laptop, I have it open. so I'll just say "quite a bit" and leave it at that

13. have you ever fought another blog?

no

14. how do you feel about “need to reblog” posts?

can't stand them. the moment I see "everyone should reblog this" "if you don't reblog-" blah blah blah I scroll past whether I liked/agreed with the post or not, oftentimes without even reading the rest of the post.

15. do you like tag games?

sure! makes me nervous tagging others for them, tho

16. do you like ask games?

yessss I love ask games. haven't been doing em much lately, tho. I should get back into them.....

17. which of your mutuals do you think are tumblr famous?

I...don't actually know. but I know some of them are more fandom-famous

18. do you have a crush on a mutual?

nah

tagging: @thedinalixlegacy @raven-of-domain-kwaad and whoever else wants to do it! like I said, tagging others makes me nervous 😅

[yallemagne]

AO3 Questions

Tagged by @northernscruffycat

Uhhhh, I'll tag just @this-is-a-name-dont-worry, that’s the only constant writer I know probs.

God, the amount of cross-referencing I’ll have to do--

How many works do you have on AO3?

28 works

What’s your total AO3 word count?

116,006 words

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

9, I'm counting the ones that overlap because :p, but that’s not counting the ones I haven’t posted... there’s a lot more.

Ancient Greek Religion & Lore 

Christian Bible (New Testament) 

Godspell - Schwartz 

Hades (Video Game 2018) 

Jesus Christ Superstar - All Media Types 

ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

Sanders Sides (Web Series)

Team Fortress 2 

The Last Days of Judas Iscariot - Guirgis 

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Ugh, I hate this question because I hate my #1

Bewitching

Pseudo-Asthma

Adrenaline Withdrawal

If Widows Lived

Lückenbüßer

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Yeah, not always. If you want me to not respond, tell me!! I’d rather know you like the fanfic and restrain myself than not know at all. If you’d like a response, you can tell me then, as well! 

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Ooooo, for AO3?? I have to think about the perspectives... I am INDECISIVE.

Death/Allusions to Death:

The Daffodil's Echo - A twink fucking dies, I don’t know what to tell you, it’s Greek Mythology.

Fools Wish For Peace and Anticipatory Grief - Include sacrifice, blame for another’s death and survivors guilt - and I need to finish this series.

per què la mort? - Death is technically how it begins, more blame towards POV character for another’s death, denial, grief...

If we are going for feelings:

The Shocking Absence of Grief - This whole thing was like... a slow-burn drabble exploring grief; it ends on a sombre note.

Arachne - I was unwittingly brought to tears by this ending.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nope.

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I have... but I’m not likely to post it. There was a time where I just got into the motions and the things I was writing all devolved into smut after meaningful conversations. So like... emotional smut? Comfort smut? I don’t know what it would be called. Remember my post about prostitute Judas? That too. 

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge. 

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but that would be rad.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes!! Only one (The Apostles), and it was mostly a self-imposed research project with my friend. They did the research, and I wrote the incorrect quotes and a short one-shot that I'll probably rewrite in the future.

What’s your all time favourite ship?

You know I can’t answer this question. Right now? Jedas. Lots of Judas ships really... and M&M from The Chosen. JonaEri?? Beautiful, they are darlings. Joseph Joestar with any Pillarman ioretuioruio.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

If Widows Lived, I love my babe, but it’s a Phantom Blood fix-it fic. How the hell do I end a PHANTOM BLOOD FIX-IT FIC. Especially when I do have stuff down for Battle Tendency after that. BUT HOW DO I APPROACH THE TIME SKIP??? (you can include all of my WIPs tbh)

What are your writing strengths?

Stream-of-consciousness and dialogue. It’s harder to add the meat to a scene when it’s dialogue heavy, it takes me a while. But if we’re just going thoughts? Neurons firing?? I got it in the bag.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Like... when you don’t know the language? It can add personality, and in certain fandoms it’s kinda... required. *eyes TF2*  Please have a translation key at the end or just put the alt language words in English and use [brackets]. With a lot of unposted stuff I have, there is an aggressive use of Google Translate, I’d probably go back and use DeepL. My only posted fic with it is Lückenbüßer, and I had a German-speaking friend assist me. 

What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

Y’all know I’d never be able to remember. I’ve been writing fanfiction since I was teeny. On AO3 though, The Daffodil's Echo was written before my technical first fic and it’s Greek Mythology.

What’s your favourite fic you’ve ever written?

How do do expect me to CHOSE?? ESPECIALLY WITH UNFINISHED AND UNPOSTED FICS?? Imma... list ones I’m especially proud of? That represent my writing style? And that I haven’t mentioned yet, ya know, for a quick plug.

Ophiuchus (really all of the On the Borderline series, displays my rewriting skills, I have a thing with fixing source material)

Join Our Erina Cult (a chatfic, fun back-and-forth dialogue)

Despite My Better Nature (hurt and comfort <333 between a troubled child and a well-adjusted adult )

just a couple of judes being gay- (shameless plug, I want y’all to read my Dudeciples shit, it’s gay, and I worked hard)

[straighttohellbuddy]

World building is the best tbh. I’m forever world building and now I have several worlds to play in and my neurodivergent brain cannot stay still enough to focus on one lmao. SLOWBURN ROMANCES ARE MY LITERAL JAM LIKE PLS!!! I LOVE THEM!! Also!!!! Concepts!!!! Pls share!!!! I love learning about the worlds of my fave fics and I can hands down say right now that this fic will literally shoot to the top of my list of favourites which means you’ll occupy the top three spots. Sorry to hear that ur feeling rough, so am sending u the biggest hug. I’m not okay but I’m taking care of myself today so that I will be 🧡-🐈‍⬛

alsjfsldkjf i have too many worlds TBH, literally one of the best parts of my 2020 was writing for the classic rock fandom and writing one of my good friend’s ocs alongside mine, like there’s so many different worlds that our two characters have now, i’m like 26k deep into a high school au that i need to get back to at some point, and then i wrote a oneshot abt the high school au but they’re adults, and then there’s also the original timeline, and then there’s the present day in the original timeline where they have kids and i probably care too much about people who aren’t real...... hahaha

OKAY OKAY OKAY HERE WE GO I’LL GIVE KIND OF AN OVERVIEW OF THE ALBUMS AND A FEW SONGS BUT IF U WANT ME TO GO IN DEPTH ON ANY OTHER SONG JUST ASK!!!

yes i have a playlist for each, if you wanna hear how i interpret the vibes of the songs. if you interpret them differently, thats awesome!! i’d love to hear y’all’s opinions on them!!

testing one two - the first ep they release, the song titles are mostly themed (fast forward, press play, pause, rewind), but are mostly things y/n has been working on for a while but never got around to finishing, things they are rather proud of. i see you shiver with... is the first song they wrote specifically for the album, and it’s the last song on the EP because it’s a Rocky Horror reference; i see you shiver with...

a n t i c i p a t i o n - first full album!! the vibe is Hopeful But Hesitant it has all the songs from the ep, plus some new ones!! collabs with youtube musicians troye and dodie, and y/n’s label sets up a collab that turns into a genuine friendship. the breakout dance hit is what else is there to say ft. Troye Sivan, which is about not knowing what to make content about when it feels like you’ve already told the world everything. it featured the prechorus and hook

You, know, ev-ery-thing about me / gave it all for free / my life in HD / So, let’s dance, let me see your hips sway / we’re gonna be okay / what else is there to say?

So say that you love me, say that you love me, say that you love me / let’s die hand in hand. / I’ll tell you I love you, tell you I love you, tell you I love you / supply and demand. 

personally, i also conceptually enjoy srs bsns which is a really upbeat song about how they don’t care if people don’t take them seriously because they know in their heart that what they’re doing is good

hyperfocus - 2nd EP, a pretty substantial departure from their usual style, but also happens to quietly be Corpse’s favourite, and is actually y/n’s most polarising, because it has both the Grammy award winning HEARTBURN and the o brother where art thou which was written partially as a joke to capture a fond moment of them and 5SOS dicking around together in a hotel. written while on tour wit 5SOS, im writing the reader as having ADHD (because I have ADHD and i can do what i want), and the backstory is that they’d changed the medication/dosage they were taking, and as it’s their first full tour, they were under a lot of stress and were in a weird place mentally and emotionally, and hyperfocus is the result of that. i’m going through some stuff has HUGE agoraphobic vibes. 

HEARTBURN has the same vibes as Florence + The Machines’ Howl. It’s about being a demon without saying that or directly implying that unless you know demons real well. This is when the pressure for them to confirm their identity got real bad, and it was their way of working through those emotions.

tear in existence in the shape of a person / when i’m seeing clearly i can’t see myself / world can’t swallow what it can’t get it’s teeth into / got everything i wanted but i ain’t got my health

Got heart-burn--- / I’ll tear me apart / I’ll tear you apart / I’ll tear me apart. 

SCREAM gets rereleased as a remixed single featuring Fall Out Boy the following year. It won the MTV music award for best collaboration in 2018. 

In the time between hyperfocus and working on it, Y/N releases several singles, including a cover of Tell Him by The Exciters to be featured in To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before. They also take time to sort out their health, do a little bit more YT stuff, and travel internationally to do festivals. 

working on it - is kind of a middle ground between their original stuff, and hyperfocus, like pop-punk meets horror-pop meets whatever you’d classify halsey as. the first three songs were mostly written before the fic starts, so before they’re getting back to YT, but the last three, nightmare scenario, designed to hurt (touch me), and not scared were all written after they’d started hanging out with sykkuno and corpse. 

in-universe, imposter syndrome was originally something else, along the same lines of tired that they’re hiding that they’re a demon, but after meeting corpse nd sykkuno and having people who know, and lowkey being influenced by corpse’s music, the song changes directions, and YO OKAY YO::

I literally am so fucking flattered, my darling friend @bingusmode​ wrote lyrics for imposter syndrome and I’ve been yELLING about them ever since i’ve read them!! (also bunnie is fantastic and lovely in general 10/10)

if you thought you saw me 

i’d think about it twice

cuz while i know i’m naughty

everybody thinks i’m nice

cutest giggles get me

places that i long to be

but it’s not long before

everybody hates me

when you figure out i’m fucked up

you’ll probably think that can’t be right

but babe my image runs to save me

cuz i’m ugly day and night

nothing good about me

not the angel that i seem

cuz i’m a piece of shit

and i’ll ruin your fuckin dreams

i’m an impostor babe

you better run for your life

cuz there’s a bloodlust runnin through me

and you’re dripping off my knife

there’s no one here to save you

cuz you ate up all my lies

so beg me while you can

and draft up all your goodbyes 

if any of y’all are inspired by anything i put out, feel free to take it and run!! you have my blessing!! i am so overwhelmingly flattered by people who like my stuff enough to create because of it, directly or indirectly! lyrics, art, songs, anything!! legit! I love you!!

okay so designed to hurt (touch me) has big House of Memories by Panic! At The Disco vibes, and YES it’s about Corpse. YES it sends mixed messages. YES it has greek myth imagery and YES that imagery is confusing. not sure if any of these sets of lyrics actually go after each other but also idk??

will my fall from grace be graceful / as each move i see you make? / propped up on pedestals side by side / beneath our feet they shake / i’m the only one to hear you ask  / “What have they done to me?” / My boy, your wax throne is sun-drenched / you’ll fall in the name of your legacy.

eyes like yours watched rome burn / while hands like mine lit the pyre / we both heard me say we’d go down in flames / now you’re turning me into a liar / since you smile like that, like you can’t feel the sting / and we both know i can’t feel the fire

been telling myself i’m designed to hurt / but, baby, aren’t we a sight? /

check your reflection, your angles, apollo / you’re icarus in the right light /

we’re on the edge, i’m not scared to fall / we’ll take refuge in the night /

been telling yourself you’re designed to hurt / but, baby, doesn’t this feel right?

also, albumtouralbumtour is a reference to Bohemian Rhapsody.

OKAY AND FINALLY

n o s t a l g i a - the album the reader’s working on during the fic.

literally as i was writing this, bunnie sent through some FIRE lyrics for how the light gets in, (@bingusmode) i am going to be thinking about these on REPEAT for the next MONTH BRUV

little bit of darkness, treat me like a toy 

i got my hopes up and got them destroyed

bitter taste of regret sitting heavy on my tongue

can’t believe i let you convince me that you were the one

sitting here in silence, fabric running thin

petals burning in my lungs and stealing oxygen

embers from a cigarette falling to the floor

god i can’t take anymore

so i stumble to the window and pull the shades

and the moon pours in like you threw a grenade

i can’t understand why

i keep trying

cuz i never seem to win

but having any hope is how the light gets in 

from there, moment before impact ft. Billie Eilish is a club anthem along the lines of bad guy or COPYCAT, bass heavy with a drop that’s out of this world.

powdered pain, i’m in your veins / i’m the sting, the drip, the thing / you’re craving, but you hate to see me misbehaving / i heard my breakdown got you high / it’s true, but baby i can’t lie / i never got that rush, that burn / that makes you feel alive, i had to learn / to pick the slippery slope down which i fell / plan my pitstops on the way to hell / to pick my padding before i spiral / so if i break it’ll be in style

watch my misdirect, now freeze, / notice you can’t see the forest for the trees / you’re so desperate for my demise / but baby, i’ll make you watch me rise.

this is the moment before impact

controlled chaos, crash land / take a breath, trust the plan / i know you hope i’m not okay / you get off on my audio misery

controlled chaos, crash land / take a breath, trust the plan / i need you to know i want it this way / my breakdown won me a grammy

and this is the moment before impact

ur my favourite - interlude ft. sykkuno is probably one of my favourites, it’s just really soft, just a snippet of a conversation between the reader and sykkuno, maybe one of them told a joke and they both just sound real happy and sweet. its nice. it’s a nice moment.

means something is also for sykkuno!! it’s about how good-strange it is to be open and honest with friends, and how they usually aren’t but they’re glad they can be open and honest with him!!

meanwhile, i don’t think about u - interlude ft. CORPSE is a phonecall between corpse & the reader right after they announce they’re going to feature on acting like that, where corpse asks if they do this sort of thing to spite him, to which the reader responds ‘do i consider you when i’m making decisions about my career? no, corpse, actually i don’t think about you at all’ which then directly contrasts the song that ends the album, which is (how it feels to be) beautiful fireworks, which is essentially ‘i know how hard it is to exist like this, to be the centre of attention, to give off light and bring people joy, even when you’re in pain. i’m here for you. i love you.’

okay, i swear im done now, i’ll get back to writing the fic! (also i cannot BELIVE i managed to figure out how to embed those playlists but im so happy) edit: it didn’t actually work when i posted the ask, so anyways im sorry but y’all are abt to be spammed with playlists because i care too much abt this fic

[ghostinthebau]

Super Fanfic Rec List -- Iron Dad Edition (because I just wanna share the love)

I’ve had such a blast reading fanfic of the IronDad and SpiderSon variety over the last 6 months or so, and I thought I’d just make a rec list of some of my favorite stories.  Most of them are angsty, with whump and hurt/comfort because that’s what I live for.  

This is in no particular order or in any way complete because there’s just way too many amazing fics/authors in the Iron Dad fandom, but it will still be hella long, so....here goes! 

First off, @yellowdistress:

What We Are series - Bio-dad Tony series that goes all the way through Infinity War.  Endgame AU.

Someday I’ll Make it Out of Here series - Adoption AU!  It’s so good.

The Missing 92 Days - A take on HYDRA Peter that destroyed me emotionally.

Reviving Peter Parker - This about killed me.  Peter actually died during his fight with Toomes and SHIELD brings him back a la the TAHITI project like they did with Phil Coulson.  

A Sailor Went to Sea - Gut-wrenching Endgame fix it.  

Double, Double

@losingmymindtonight:

Webcams and Webshooters series

I Never Lived ‘Til I Lived In Your Light series - !!! TISSUE WARNING !!! Peter dies, but there’s another one shot with a happier ending if you need it.

And You’ll Blow Us All Away - Adoption fic!  A lovely one at that.

5 Times Peter’s Mental Illness Made Him Stumble And The 1 Time He Refused To Falter - I really love a well-depicted take on mental illness, and losingmymindtonight delivered 100%.

If You Can’t Catch A Breath (You Can Take The Oxygen Straight Out Of My Own Chest)

Cyanide? In My Shawarma?

@justme--emily:

The Guardian - Adoption AU with a lovely Loki and Peter friendship!

Radioactive - Peter endures the after effects of the spider bite, and scares bio-dad Tony to death.  Lovely, lovely, lovely.

The Good Fight - Peter gets hurt at the airport in Germany instead of Rhodey.  

@iron--spider:

ever in your favor - Hunger Games AU and an epic work of art!  

Lazarus, come forth - The Endgame fix it before Endgame.  Peter will break your heart.

dear mr. fantasy

this isn’t a game - Highly underrated fic based off the PS4 Spider-Man game.  I’ve never even played the game, and I loved this story.

what if there is no tomorrow? - This story actually made me kinda like Justin Hammer, if you can believe it.  

blindness

@tempestaurora:

hydra’s not a home series - HYDRA Peter, and also bio-dad Tony and bio-mom Pepper!

i’ll find you in the drift - Pacific Rim AU, and I have never seen PR, but I adored this so much.

it’s okay, we’re okay [whumpvember 2018] series

@jolinarjackson:

Lights To Guide You Home series - Another adoption AU.  They are my weakness, and this is one of the best out there.  

... and when you can’t crawl ...

Damaged At Best (Like You’ve Already Figured Out)

@blondsak:

No Life But This

come morning light (you and I’ll be safe and sound)

Burying Grounds - Eeeek!  Tony has to choose between saving Peter or Pepper and it hurts.

hold on, hold on

Something the Soul Needs

@madasthesea:

turn back the clock (and I’ll try again in the morning)

when my body won’t hold me anymore (where will I go)

They have so many other lovely looking fics--including an adoption au series (which I, of course, love), but I just haven’t gotten around to reading them yet.  I’m pretty sure anything they write is golden.  :)

@signofuncertainty:

It’s Always the Little Things

I’m sure their other fic, The Third Option, is fantastic and I really, really wanna read it but I’m trying so hard to wait until it’s complete!  It’s really difficult to wait, though, tbh....I may give in soon.  

@upcamethesun:

Twelve Days Of Peter Parker - So cute and fluffy, and then it kills you at the end.

5 Times Peter Made Tony Laugh Out Loud

5 Times Tony Didn’t Need To Worry About Peter

5 Times Peter Pretended To Be Tougher Than He Was

@frostysunflowers:

Between how it is and how it should be - This story made me love a Peter and Bucky friendship.

@kitcat992:

Identity Theft - This was one of the very first Iron Dad fics I read, and it was a doozy.  Full of whump, medical accuracy, and hurt/comfort!  The author is posting a sequel now, too: Identity Crisis.  :D

For Pete’s Sake!

@camelot-queen:

Goner - A perfectly heartbreaking kidnapping fic, but heed the warnings!

Who Saves The Hero

Never Meet Your Heroes

i’m the satellite (and you’re the sky) - Tony is Peter’s bio-dad but Peter doesn’t know it.  I haven’t actually finished this yet, but it’s good.  So, so good.

@peter-stank:

built from scraps - YOU GUYS, this is one of the best fics I’ve read on AO3.  It’s a ‘Tony gets dusted instead of Peter’ AU, and it’s got such an amazing dynamic between Peter, Pepper, and Morgan.  It’ll also make you tear up a few times, at least.

@geekymoviemom:

Sins of the Fathers - So, I’ve only read the first 5 chapters of this epic length (303k words@) adoption AU so far, but I’m LOVING it so I wanted to add it here.  They also have an even longer bio-dad Tony with added Stony bonus series, Pieces of Echoes, that they’re posting the 3rd installment to right now.  I’ll definitely be checking it out!

@too-many-bees:

let’s kick it

like a bridge over troubled water

@jbsforever:

it’ll be over (and I’ll still be asking when)

@tnyystark:

where the memories reside

@whumphoarder:

Quieting the Void series - Peter kinda has an eating disorder due to the spider bite, so take care if you read!

Poison Apple - Loved how medically accurate this was, and Ned’s reaction to Peter’s condition was heartbreaking.

@seek-rest:

It Hurts to Become

Someday We’ll Know - This is a Walk to Remember AU, so there’s MCD.  I’ve gotten about halfway through, but I can only read it when I’m in the right mindset.  But it’s lovely and so well done.  

This author has so many fics that I’m sure are amazing, and they’re on my ‘to read’ list when I’m in the mood for beautiful Spideychelle stories.

@caraminha:

The Primary Reason Tony Stark Would Throw Down With an Anti-Vaxxer in the Street - Hella scary depiction of Peter with tetanus, and it’s SO GOOD.

@tonystarkstan:

it all comes back to this

skeletons series

to build a home series - I love recovery fics, and this was a beautiful story of Peter dealing with the aftermath of being snapped and coming back.

lay your weary head to rest

@foolscapper:

Exploding Head Syndrome - Everyone comes back when the snap is reversed, but Peter is sort of catatonic--stuck between the living world and the soul stone where he’s with Gamora.  It’s such a lovely fic.

@alice-in-ink:

It’s a Little Bit We Do

Danger Pizza

@legalassie:

oh, darling - Peter’s kidnapped and Tony frantically searches for him--one of my favorite things.  Peter uses his smarts to help him get out of the situation, too, which is also one of my favorite things.

don’t think about tomorrow. 

@blackwatchandromeda:

Broken Thoughts (I Remember Everything)

Leave Me to Dream

A Nightmare to Remember

@emma--anacortes: 

Accepting the Tides - Here I am with another adoption AU.  Can you see a pattern yet?  I love them, and this one has danger and whump and comfort as well.  

@ardenskyedarcy221b:

they are standing in the garden - This hurt.  Several times the author had me tearing up and there’s a few lines that will stay with me forever.  It was just immensely lovely to read.

@iamallyetnotatall:

At the Start of the Universe - This was so much better than I was expecting! Peter is an Angel, and he knows Tony from the very beginning of the universe. It’s different, but absolutely gorgeous.

@starktowr:

somewhere outside my life - I don’t wanna say too much, but just read this.  It’ll break you and you’ll love it.

@jessicagoddamnjones: 

too bad (but it’s the life you lead)

@silver-bubbles:

The Fire’s Out (But Still It Burns)  

@day-dreamer176:

Like A Strike of Lightning - I kinda took this as a demonic possession a la Supernatural, but I don’t think it actually was.  Either way, it was fantastic.

fifty-four

five, tops

The World Stopped

@ambivalentmarvel:

Into His Fold series - Where Thanos brings Peter back from the ashes to make him into his new son (a la Nebula and Gamora).

@notaparty-trick:

Doom and Gloom - A ‘Peter doesn’t get dusted’ AU, filled with whump and Iron Dad and an awesome Carol Danvers.  Angst!!!

Dust and Blood - Peter is hurt much worse when Toomes drops the building on him.  More angst!!!!  This author does angst very well.

@ema--vee:

You don’t have to hold your head up high - Peter can’t thermoregulate!  I love that trope.

@forensicleaf:

All the Things We’ve Lost (And All the Things We’ve Gained) - This one gutted me, and then made it better.  But there’s pain to be had before the comfort!

They just posted the first chapter of a new WIP that looks AMAZING, too: Can’t Part the Sea, Can’t Reach the Shore.

@plnkblue:

foolish, fragile spine - Peter’s severely injured in his fight with Adrian Toomes and Tony finds him.  

@helloitisiafellowgay:

god did not craft us as altars, but as dying gods - Okay, guys.  This one is heavy.  It deals with Skip coming back into Peter’s life, and it’s not pretty but it’s handled superbly.  It’s a tough read, but one I definitely recommend if you can handle it.  Take care of yourselves first and foremost, though.  <3

~ ~ ~ I’m not sure if the following authors have a tumblr, so I just linked their AO3 pages ~ ~ ~

eccentric_artist_221b:

Only for a Little While - This is a Titanic AU, and it’s AMAZING.  There’s several scenes that just took my breath away and brought me to tears (not an easy feat). They’re also working on a WWI sequel!!!!

tiaylasglass:

the one who made it out - Short, simple in a gorgeous way, and poignant.  

And finally, I thought I’d humbly add my own little contribution to the fandom.  So far, I’ve only written the one fic, but I hope to write more in the future!

@ghostinthebau:

For Want of a Dad (in need of a son) - There’s a bit of blood, and a very distraught Tony at one point, so warning for angst and injury!

Again, this list is probably severely lacking, and if someone has a rec that’s not on here please please please reblog this and let me know!  I’m always in the mood for more fics.  

And I hope anyone reading this finds something they enjoy!  

I’m sure you will.  

ilu 3,000

:)