Tumgik
#tbh at this point that I’m getting physical reactions. I might need to have a reevaluation.
junipaca · 5 months
Text
People scare me so much i get nauseous. However. People can be kind. But that can also be scary. hm. The world is full of contradictions.
0 notes
b3achysurfur · 8 months
Text
ANALYSISSSS TIMMEEE
Call me a reacher, but actually I’m a preacher. About to make y’all learn this lore like I’m your teacher. I don’t care if you get dreary, y’all gon hear this theory.
I know y’all want the paper crane cult to be evil , but I think it’s the other way around tbh. the cranes probably aren't bad people, they believe what they're doing is correct.
They also have a reason to do what they are doing (or at least they think they do). Not sure exactly what it could be, since non-fastpass literally have crumbs of info on them, but the way I see it is they have a “being mean to be kind” mindset.
Don’t get me wrong, they know turning people into phantoms is a horrible thing to do. They are aware their actions are harmful, both through self-reflection and outside opinions. But I believe their organization is either going to end up being the lesser evil or it’s a selfish sacrifice for a greater goal.
When I say “outside opinions”, I’m referring to the other two groups currently working against (?) the paper crane cult. At least one of these mysterious groups is trying to shut down everything the cranes are doing. The other one’s goal can be anything tbh. They might want to take over, they could know the folklore behind phantoms and are more knowledgeable than the cranes are. Regardless, their interference is obviously not helping the cranes which is why they are in hiding.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Also, since we’re on the topic, I don’t believe the ‘stunt pulled in savannah’ had anything to do with Ashlyn and the main cast. We’ve been told that this isn’t the first time they’ve pulled people into the phantom dimension. So why would something they do constantly be considered a stunt?
Tumblr media
The group is experienced enough to be able to predict the physical reactions the main cast’s bodies should be undergoing. But when things don’t go to plan, instead of revising their studies, they automatically understand that the children are anomalies. Them being anomalies is important for my next point.
Tumblr media
Let’s go back to the basics. The cults symbol is a black paper crane. Cranes symbolize peace, while paper by itself represents newness, life, and growth. Together, this can be interpreted as a goal for a new era of peace and the recovery/growth of society. This could be the boss trying to come to peace with a situation of his past and his end goal of the phantom research is the only way he can cope/try to solve whatever happened.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
But, paper cranes as origami can also be given a meaning. 1000 paper cranes are needed in order to have ONE wish granted. The origins of this belief tie back to prayers for recovery and good health. Which links back to my earlier statements about the goal of the cranes being to help something (society, the boss, a person of the past) recover or improve in health/ability.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Hear me out now. What if, instead of using paper cranes, the crane cult uses humans as their offerings instead? Say they need 1000 experiments in order to make a break through in their research of the phantom world. Remember earlier when I stated the main cast were anomalies? What if they’re experiments 994-1,000? Ashlyn, who fosters the closest connection to the phantom dimension out of everyone else, is the 1,000th person. She’s the specialist one, and she will be the breakthrough the cult had so desperately been searching for.
Going back to the orginally topic of the cult not necessarily being evil, there is honestly an odd amount of symbolism that surrounds the members.
In chapter 44, the boss stands at a window reviewing the situation with a member of the paper cranes. In the window, there is a sparrow sitting on a bare tree. This detail can be overlooking very quickly, but the fact it comes up in 2 panels and is the only thing in the window is odd.
Tumblr media
So, after some research, I learned that sparrows are actually a sign of good luck! Furthermore, the sparrow is outside.
Tumblr media
A sparrow leaves when a family member has died. People need time to recover after the death of a family member. Given my earlier points, are the dots connecting? Perhaps the boss has recently experienced a death (or someone important to him/he himself is very sick) and he is doing everything he can to restore their health. Even if that means others have to die and suffer in order to save them, or even himself. This would be the selfish goal I was talking about earlier.
Or maybe it’s not just one person who’s sick/dead. Maybe it’s society as a whole? The paper cult wants to save people from their own greed and division and make everyone harmonious and equal.
If everyone became a phantom, war and conflict would cease to exist. From what we’ve seen, the phantoms don’t attack each other. Unless they are working together, they completely ignore each other.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
In the case that the cult is attempting to save us from ourselves, than wouldn’t that mean the organization is the ‘lesser evil’ I was talking about before?
The charater designs of paper cult members are also very important to this analysis/theory thing.
I don’t know his name, so I’m gonna call him baldy, but look at his piercings. He has two on his right eyebrow. In some cultures, this represents a rite of passage in someone’s life.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
The three stages of a rite of passage of separation, transition, and the return. This process can apply to so many theories and events in sbg that I really don’t know which to pick for this post 😭. To save time, I’ll leave it up to the reader. But I’m always open to hearing everyone’s thoughts on this(even if it doesn’t have anything to do with this post’s specific topic).
Tumblr media
Now, let’s look at jasmine. She was the funniest to research lol. Her double piercing is on her right ear. This symbolizes life at jeopardy or the prevention of a disaster. HELLO? This covers literally all of my ealier points in one go.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Her tattoos also are quite interesting to look at too. OKAYY so I’ve seen the theory about how this specific tattoo is actually these biggies and it does make sense. However when I was originally putting this analysis together, no one pointed it out yet, and I went in the opposite direction. It still applies to my connections though so.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Originally I thought this tattoo was a centipede, which symbolize good luck, healing, and energy! All three add onto my ealier points.
Tumblr media
I’m not 100% sure what these are but it looks like smoke to me.
Tumblr media
There are two different thing smoke can symbolize. It can hide a situation or cloud judgement. The clouded judgement could be the emotion that causes the cult to make their selfish sacrifices or our judgement of the cult and assuming their bad people without context (even though they’re kidnappers 😓). Smoke is also important in artworks and ceremonies that deal with sacrifices. In this case, the human sacrifices being used to further the research/domination of phantoms.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
This tattoo of what appears to be a snake wrapped around a dragger or staff represents medicine and rejuvenation. It can also represent overcoming a challenge or fear.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
I also find the quote, “snake shed their skin” interesting because in a sense when the humans become phantoms they’re shedding their skin and becoming a new being. Just saying 🤷‍♀��
I’m too lazy to write an ending to this long thread but hopefully you guys see the point I was trying to make. Yes I know I’m reaching but also it makes too much sense and I wanted to share. Anyways feel free to add onto this or disagree with it. I’m curious about other peoples perspectives on this!
114 notes · View notes
thedeal-if · 1 year
Note
💓 for fluff and 💔 for angst
angst 😈
the ask game!
This took surprisingly not as long as I thought it would lol ty anon
Tumblr media
💓 - what gets their heart racing?
(Warning for very slight nsfw? It's so mild I won't even tag it tbh, just Lilith being lilith)
Dante: holding hands under the table—everything that has something to do with hands, really, touching and being touched. Compliments and eternal talks of art and music—he knows little of the former but could blow your mind with the latter. Your eyes upon receiving the latest grand gift Dante has been agonizing over—because the concept of delayed gratification is so foreign to him.
Lilith: the tendrils of anticipation before they take the plunge—the little pang of nerves after they've spent an entire day pondering something and finally decided ‘Yes, let’s give it a chance’. Being allowed to touch and taste and feel the welcomed warmth of a body next to theirs. Having their eyes graced by a pretty face—and not a conventional beauty either, but something they consider beautiful, someone they can’t help but compliment and want to seduce.
Josh: a sudden realization, a stray thought—“fuck but I could listen to them talk about nothing for hours”—, and the unexpectedness of it, but knowing that it’s okay, it’s alright. A hand running through his head—no matter if it’s a gentle pat or the sharpness of nails scratching his scalp. The sincerest compliments, simple in nature but as fulfilling as they’re meaningful: ‘You did well, I’m proud of you.’
Villanelle: she wants to be with you by the fire, fighting the frigid weather in the most primitive way. She wants to cook with you, order coffee with you, wash your teeth together—side-by-side, stealing glances in the mirror and holding back the laughter in-between mouthfuls of toothpaste, like it’s a secret. It’s all displays of domesticity, the physical proof that ‘this’ is real.
Victor: It was most definitely not his idea—otherwise what’s the point? Why would he react that way? But Victor can’t deny it feels like a punch to the gut when he sees you wearing his clothes—can punches even feel good, or is he so far gone that pain means pleasure? Apparently, it does: the thrill of teaching you how to defend yourself, of guiding you, watching you grow and learn, receiving your hits steadily—it doesn’t feel bad, not at all.
Aliyah: she pushes, she hates and she bites when she has to, but your backbone—it always takes her by surprise, even more than your kindness—is a kick, a buzz, and a flutter at the same time. Aliyah likes it just as she likes how opinionated you are, how you never back down from a fight. What she often mistakes as defensiveness, a need to fight, might be simply excitement and excitement alone.
Nathan: as an angel, Nathan experiences such a primal reaction at the sight of what he considers as beauty, overwhelming in its nature, and just as unexplainable as everything else. The other side of the scale is perhaps not as romantic: Nathan adores a challenge. Having someone question his ideals, fighting for his opinions, listening to someone else’s, discussing any sort of topic no matter how trivial or boring. The ultimate excitement in life is to be right.
Eden: he likes your voice, Eden should mention it, but he’s too busy listening to everything you say—and everything you don’t say, all those little details, inferences, contexts, and implications. He draws lines and pictures in his mind, falling deeper and deeper into a rabbit hole until he sees your story with his own eyes. It’s the silence too, the quiet companionship, the knowledge that the peacefulness doesn’t necessarily have to be broken, but Eden still knows everything you’re thinking with just a glance.
Tumblr media
💔 - what could their partner do that would absolutely break their heart?
(I'm itching to write an angst scenario but it would be beyond spoilery so—)
Dante: physical jails pose a challenge—the thrill of breaking out—but metaphorical prisons chain your soul. Feeling that someone has that control over him, that he doesn't have the freedom to make his own decisions and mistakes— that would be heartbreaking, wouldn’t it?
Lilith: it’s a side of her she has never shown, you know? A face she has never deigned to see in the mirror. But she decided she trusted you and she decided you deserved to see the visage of a demon—the face of the monster she wears under the pretty mask you call Lilith. It’s your rejection, it breaks her more than you’d know.
Josh: any kind of uncertainty, of being unsure. Of knowing too little. Or perhaps too much. It’s not like it takes him by surprise—did he fool you into believing so? Josh would rather embrace deafness than hear the disappointment in your voice. But who is he kidding? It’s not like he can escape your eyes.
Villanelle: she has spent her 25 years on this Earth choosing to avoid her problems, tucking them away—tucking, tucking, tucking away, all her shelves, cupboards, and boxes are filled with unpacked shit, honestly. Any sort of conflict, the mere idea of being confronted negatively— it feels like she’s burning alive.
Victor: you’re… hard to understand, you know? Victor is a simple enough man, complications make his head spin. It’s undeniable, though. You were the one who chose to get close to him. You chased him around, pried his shell open like a knife would a clam, Victor trusted you— and now you’ve discarded him. No explanations given, just a sharp goodbye. Nothing more.
Aliyah: would it make you feel any less special to know that you are most definitely not the first one? Oh, Aliyah would make a list, but her memory doesn’t go that far back. Not even betrayal would sting this bad. Definitely not. It’s watching you die. The reminder that time really is just a relativity for her, while it is a deadline for you. Aliyah never got along with Death. They take too much, too fast.
Nathan: he’s so used to being the main and primary driver, the owner of the temple called ‘Nathan,’ he who for centuries was just Nathan. Not Nathan and Azriel. He can joke all he wants, he can push the truth around like a disgusting meal he can’t be bothered to try— but Nathan hates that you like Azriel. Or that you like him more. He hates being considered the same individual, he hates everything Azriel stands for, hates being pushed toward the passenger seat and losing sight of himself.
Eden: against all rationality and common reason—because that’s the only way to refer to the denial of the truth—Eden would only feel a sense of brokenness if you refused to look at him in the eye. He ignores the matter at first, it’s dumb to fixate on such a thing with no proof. But then you mention the power he holds, the power he inherited as a descendant of Solomon. So many assumptions could be made about such a thing— but Eden halts and entertains one. You too, like everyone else, believe that he’s a weapon, uncontrolled, to wield and otherwise ignore.
Tumblr media
I think the point of ask games is to brief but the real challenge is to make me get straight to the point.
24 notes · View notes
nuri148 · 2 years
Text
My Take on the Aot Special
OK, now that I’m a bit more calm, let me start by saying
Thank you Crunchyroll for ruining the AoT special for me.
As everyone knows by now, Crunchyroll did not air the special at the announced time, and there was nothing but radio silence from them all day until it simply appeared in the menu.
In an ideal situation, I would have gone to bed and watch it calmly the next day, but this wasn’t an option since we had a trip booked on Saturday and I knew I wouldn’t have another chance at watching it till Sunday evening. And I clearly couldn’t wait that much.
So when the special was finally available, at around 00:15h in my corner of the world, I was not only tired af from being up since 6:30 in the morning, but also dragged 8 hours of sheer fury at the blatant disregard of Crunchyroll towards the series and disrespect to the viewers.
Therefore I was not invested, I was more in a “let’s get it over with” mood so I wouln’t have to avoid spoilers for the rest of the weekend.
Therefore the following opinions are likely tainted by the fact I was robbed me of all the feelings I was expecting to get from my blorbos.
::spoilers ahead::
- I appreciated the extended version of Eren’s conflict at “having to” enact the Rumbling. I felt it highlighted whatever little humanity he’s got left in him and helped illustrate his final descent into madness.
- However, it would have been nice to have Ramzi and his brother dubbed by someone with an accent. In the manga, their dialogue is represented either in squiggles (when they’re talking between them) or (in othe original version) in katakana when the reader needs to know what they’re saying, thus representing the fact they are not speaking the same as the locals.
- The ship trip and plane preparation felt a bit rushed to me. Yes, they are in a rush in-universe, but there is a difference between conveying a sense of urgency and rushing the narrative. I felt it was like, Oh, hi, Armin likes Annie everyone in Liberio is dead Levi you shouldn’t get up yet you know what Yelena you’re right honey omg Annie fancies Armin wtf Floch is alive now he’s not two fingers is enough.
- Also in this part, I had the feeling some VA were rather off (Falco, WTF? Annie sounded odd too)..
- Yes Heichou, two fingers is enough ::nudge nugde wink wink::
- Watching Floch die was both so satisfying but also kinda scary how he clings to the yaegerist discourse till the very end. That’s fanatism for you. Awesome scene.
- The Hange farewell deserved more love. Again, we see the difference between the characters’ need to hurry vs the storytelling not devoting enough time to such an emotionally charged moment. This is especially blatant in anime, which has a long, tried and true tradition (also in this show) to dilate a single moment in time into a long scene for punch. Would it have killed them to make a longer shot of their pained expressions, of Hange’s nervous laugh, of Levi’s hands both in Hange’s chest and later on the plane?
- Hange’s death scene was great, which makes me more salty about the above paragraph.
- tbh though I fully blame Crunchyroll for my lack of reaction to the levihan scene. Fuck Crunchyroll.
- Overall, the CGI was pretty shitty, IMHO. Some scenes (e.g. Annie and Kiyomi on the deck) seemed out of Who Framed Roger Rabbit.
- The scenes in Paths, though, really benefited from the animation as it helped convey the fact that the rules of time and space don’t apply here.
- The action scenes and the destruction scenes from the Rumbling were the coolest*. That, added to the reservations I wrote above, make me fear we’ll have a lot of cool fight scenes at the expense of not giving enough screen time to the characters and the story. *I appreciated the titan falling off the hill; however the physics of the rumbling come with their own set of problems that I might adress at some point – some of which I did elaborate about in my fic about Hange.
I will try to rewatch the special at some point, ideally back to back with the last chapter from S4part2, to see how much of the rush and the wonky acting was there or just my imagination.
9 notes · View notes
Note
hey sorry if this is personal and feel free not to answer! <3 but would you be willing to describe your difficulties w/ empathy? I'm autistic too and feel like I have difficulties but idk maybe I just don't know enough about it if that makes sense?
hi! sure! happy to talk about it. :) this is just MY experience for anyone reading, so not saying all autistic people experience these things. this might sound “bad” to some people, ahhh so I’m nervous, but TL;DR, I have a LOT of empathy, it just manifests differently!!!
Generally speaking, I don’t really “care” about people except for myself (or at least it appears that way). Most of the time, I’m very focused on just me & my experiences, and if I have to use emotional energy, I’d rather use it on myself (because I become suuuuper depleted very quickly). If someone comes to me with a problem (who I’m quite close with—acquaintances are different) I usually don’t have much of a reaction. It’s not that I don’t care at all about what someone is going through, I think my brain just processes someone I know as a generally stable force in my life that I’m used to, so it’s harder to understand when someone ISN’T that archetype. I’ll usually process that stimuli as “oh this is a fact—this person is having a hard time” rather than “I should do something about it.” If an acquaintance came to me with an issue, my reaction would be very different—usually I’m instantly empathetic, sometimes overly-empathetic to the point of absorbing emotions.
In my closer relationships, I empathize with people usually by sharing things. If someone tells me they’re having a hard time, I sometimes will make a snack to cheer them up (but might not necessarily give them a hug, sit with them for a long time, etc). I also intellectualize emotions a lot, so while I might not *feel* the weight of someone else’s feelings, I understand why they feel that way. That can make it tricky to understand how to comfort because once I identify why someone feels a certain way, my brain goes “alright my job’s done” when there’s still other elements to empathy that some people like you to engage in (conversations, physical affection, etc—things I struggle with).
Sometimes though, I do get hit with a really big wave of “omg I FEEL this” when someone is talking to me. But generally speaking I feel more like a pawn in my daily life—and I mean that I feel usually like my presence and body is a vessel for the actual “me”—which is the internal person within me and not necessarily the person I see in mirrors. That can make it hard to empathize with myself/others because I don’t really feel like I have lots of “reactions” as a person because I feel like a vessel most of the time. Does that make sense??
Sometimes, my first reaction when people come to me with issues (particularly if it’s a repeat issue, NOT something new—I react a LOT when there’s a new issue), is to be uncomfortable/annoyed. It’s not that I don’t want to help, but that’s honestly what usually happens! My therapist has explained this is because some autistic people experience other people’s emotions so strongly that sometimes it can be so sensorily overwhelming you just shut down your emotions completely.
Hope this helps! This is why I personally at this time have decided I can’t have pets/a partner/kids tho lol. I work best and am happiest when I just need to take care of myself. It can be hard tho tbh. The way I interact with others could be seen as selfish. I’ve heard that before! That makes me a little sad. I do really focus on myself, but that’s mostly because that’s the most “natural” way I exist on a daily basis (my instinct) and that’s what makes me incredibly happy/at peace.
But when I do connect with people, it is an extremely deep connection and I care deeply for the well-being of others, just not in the same way as some people! Relationships to me are lifelong to me—that’s how I go into them!
6 notes · View notes
spookyrobbins · 1 year
Note
Why do you think Arizona was so enthusiastic about getting pregnant and carrying their baby in those flashbacks? It always seemed so ooc to me. Her reaction later in s10, where she really wanted Callie to carry the baby was so much more in character for her. Her enthusiasm about getting pregnant always seemed more like some fanfic version of Arizona where she's a happy stay at home mom with 5 kids than actual canon Arizona.
i think it’s a couple things tbh
1. i’ve discussed this at some point on here (zero clue when though lol) but i think that arizona was never anti kids like say cristina. i think it was in large part bc of tim and then also her job. like i think at some point in her life, before tim died, probably before she was fully in peds, arizona considered having kids. now i don’t think it was as deeply engrained as say callie, who probably grew up with that mental image, but like in the back of mind considered it. also, callie was kinda sloppy in how she dealt with approaching arizona and i think it put arizona on the back foot and maybe made her overreact slightly. so while kids maybe isn’t the end all be all for arizona like it is for callie or others, it’s not the end of the world either for like cristina or even ellis grey.
2. arizona carried a lot of guilt from the car crash, which presumably meant it would be challenging or even impossible for callie to have kids esp only a year out from the crash (this is based on some cursory googling i did once upon a time). arizona probably saw carrying as something she could do to make up for the crash. by s10, it’s further out from the crash so callie might be more physically able to do so (again i think i googled this once i have no medical knowledge)
3. in s9, arizona was clinging to normalcy and being the wife that she thought callie needed so i think there was an element of overcompensating. i’m guessing calzona had talked about a second baby in s8, just like very early starting to discuss the details kind of thing. sofia would just be around a year by the end of s8 and given how long ivf could take, it seems reasonable that they’d have some degree of a plan. i doubt either one of them, but esp arizona, would want sofia to be an only child. so in s9 after everything, arizona saw it as an opportunity to sort of claim back the life they had before the plane crash, which i think made losing the pregnancy all that more devastating for arizona. it was just another way where she couldn’t live up to who she was a year before.
i think overall her enthusiasm was over the top but i do genuinely think she was excited about the possibility of having another baby. and i think she was excited about the process bc this time it was her and clalie going through it together and it was probably the closest/most in sync calzona were the entirety of s9
1 note · View note
devilisln-moved · 2 years
Text
HEADCANONS
Tumblr media
—    basics.
is your muse tall/short/average?  According to comic based character dossiers, Matt is 6′0, which is just about average, though I’m not really fussed if people have a particular impression of Matt’s size as influenced by the tv series what with Charlie Cox being 5/9, which isn’t really that short, tbh. Idek idek, I could go on for a little while about how badly skewed height is when it comes to men like no I’m sorry, but 5′9 is not a short king..are they okay with their height?  Yeah, he’s not really one to be intimidated by other’s people’s sizes compared to his. For obvious reasons and also he seems pretty secure with himself physically. do they spend a lot of time on their hair/grooming?  Yes, but it’s complicated. It’s less a matter of primping and more a matter of being tidy and clean, more due to his own particularities than vanity. So yeah, his suits are gonna be clean and pressed but he might have bed head bruised knuckles. does your muse care about their appearance/what others think?  Matt has some understanding that he’s an attractive man. Certainly, he lives in his own body but he can also read the physiological reactions of other people in his presence. He likes being perceived as desirable, but he also takes rejection gracefully for the most part. Matt worries about the state of his soul and mind more than what others think of his aesthetically. He knows he’s handsome and as a man has the ultimate cheat code of wearing a well-cut suit.
—    preferences
indoors or outdoors?  Indoors, but by a very small margin. Either way, the focus is less on inside/outside and more if he has the area maps out in his mind. It’s why he doesn’t travel much. it’s not just the matter of it being taxing to his senses, but his radar sense is basically his “eyes”. New places haven’t been mapped out, so he’s completely out of his element. Comparatively, though, indoors are much easier to predict than outdoors. rain or sunshine? Sunshine. Rain fucks with his senses. Yeah, yeah, I know the movie said the opposite but I trust Mark Waid’s vision lmao. Basically it makes it harder for him to read locations and orient himself. forest or beach? Hmmmm....hard to say. On one hand, trees sometimes make landscapes hard for him to cope. Beaches are generally nice, flat open spaces, but he wouldn’t like tropical beaches. Matt is very temperature sensitive and detests extremes.Also sand. Sand would drive him crazy. precious metals or gems?  I don’t really think he has a preference overall aside from preferring silver, gold, platinum, and naturally produced gems due to the way they smell better than metal alloys, nickel, and other costume jewelry. He’s not completely adverse. Stainless steel, pewter, glass, etc. are not offensive to him. flowers or perfumes? He likes both? Obviously flowers are superior, but he’s not completely opposed to perfumes and colognes. I do think he’s very sensitive to strong scents and artificial ones and doesn’t care much for say, some cheap fruity smelling body spray is going to give him a headache, but a well crafted, carefully balanced perfume is going to stand out to him. personality or appearance?  Obviously personality is going to matter more to him, but Matt does judge by some superficial standards, in his own way. For example, he’s not going to date someone that smells bad to him or has a quality of voice might completely put him off. being alone or in a crowd?  He doesn’t like large crowds as a general rule. It’s too overwhelming, especially a tightly packed one. It’s far too much stimulation for him and while he’s very skilled in managing the input that he’s experiencing day to day, he can get to a breaking point and just need to disconnect from the perpetual sensory onslaught. order or anarchy? Bit of both, because I do believe a little bit of anarchy has to be in his heart to do what he does. He’s very aware that the system is broken and while he’s willing and capable of working within the system to push against corruption and authoritarian mindsets, he’s just as aware that a broken system might just need to be shattered before it can be rebuilt and repaired. painful truths or white lies?  White lies. Matt lies a lot, if I’m to be quite frank. He lies about being Daredevil, he lies about his senses, he lies about whether or not he’s blind (ie: He’s perfectly fine with letting people think he can see when he’s in Daredevil mode). He lies about why he’s built the way he is (because y’know, I don’t think Matt is jacked or anything but I mean, he would look like he works out and is at peak physical condition, which I think a lot more people should notice lmao). science or magic?  Considering he has weird powers and has some vague sense of belief in a higher power (as I’ve mentioned before, I’m kinda eh on an overemphasis on his religiosity but I don’t like think he’s an atheist or anything), Matt is open minded when it comes to the unknown. He doesn’t trust magic over science, however, and his first instinct on something is to approach something logically. night or day?  No preference. There’s an interesting sleep disorder called non-24 hour circadian rhythm that affects blind people more often than most, It affects Matt from time to time, usually when his life is less ordered on a day to day basis for one reason or another. There are certain tells that inform him of the time or day, but I think it really only informs a sense of self rather tan day/night if that makes any sense (although admittedly even that’s very thin since Daredevil does not necessarily work only at night). dusk or dawn?  Dawn has a certain scent that appeals to him. warmth or cold?  Neither. He prefers mild temperatures.. Not too hot not too cold. many acquaintances or a few close friends?  A few close friends. Less people to trust his secrets with. However, I will say, Matt is a friendly person as a general rule, warm and compassionate. So he’s an easy conversationalist with just about anyone. reading or playing a game? For obvious reasons, reading appeals more. Since Matt was blinded at that formative age where one Christmas a Gameboy could get his hooks in him (although who know. As a general rule, his father is portrayed as a bit of a taskmaster when it came to his studies and school work. Jack might have been the type to deter Matt from wanting video game consoles or going to arcades), I don’t think he’d be the type to look into video games geared toward blind players in adulthood. Although he’s very literate with braille, Matt often listens to audiobooks and podcasts as well.
—    questionnaire.
what are some of your muse’s bad habits? The big ones are lying, recklessness/impulsive behaviour, being overtly judgemental, and being very, very secretive. Not just about being Daredevil but of how badly he’s hurt, how deep a shit he’s in when it comes to certain situations. The judgemental aspect, naturally comes with his strong moral centre and sometimes holding people at such high standards, but also on their lifestyle. For example, throughout Mark Waid’s run of writing Daredevil, Matt often expresses distaste over what Foggy eats and his sedentary tendencies. has your muse lost anyone close to them?  lol lmao, yeah most of family, his mentor, various lovers, friends, etc. Matt can be a little edgy about getting close to new people, but he’s also fully of empathy, compassion, and is very, very lonely. what are some fond memories your muse has?  They’re all related to the people in his life. Despite having enforced solitude drilled into from a young age, he greatly values the people in his life. While i truly don’t think there is much of a division between Matt and Daredevil, he’s not like Batman, who often seems to exhibit some dissociative tendencies, the fondest memories are linked to  being Matt Murdock. is it easy for your muse to kill? No, it’s kind of his thing as he’s among the no-kill crew of the vigilante set. You could say in his current series, he’s coming off having a nervous breakdown down due to accidentally killing someone (presumably his first, though you could probably cynically argue that it’s the first that he knows about). is your muse capable of trusting someone with their life?  Yes but he does still tend to be loner on the scene. He’s perfectly capable of trusting other heroes and collaborating, but his natural tendency is to go out and sort something alone until he has to seek out someone else’s help. what’s your muse like when they’re in love? Matt has a bit heart and I feel like he kinda wears it on his sleeve. I think it’s really cute that so many of his partners end up getting referred to as “the love of his life”, so i think it’s pretty clear that he goes all in when he falls in love. While he’s still secretive and protective against his night shift.it’s not out of disrespect. I’d say it looks good on him. Matt seems to be better off with companionship. I think it helps to ease some of the weight of the world off his shoulders and keeps his darker thoughts and feelings at bay. He likes to share his life and experience with others, and ends up being an invested and attentive partner when he’s not being a bit of a flake. He doesn’t mean to be, he’s just got a demanding job, either way you slice it. Personally, I think it’s better when the person he’s with knows he’s Daredevil. Matt feels guilty when he has to lie and cancel dates because of his vigilantism, whether he get caught up in something or ends up too injured.
tagged by: @overclocks​ tagging: free for all <333333
1 note · View note
mercurytrinemoon · 3 years
Text
Another post on Moon signs you can drag me for
Before we get into the actual thing, I'd like to say this post initially started as something else but ultimately, what I tried to put across is, sometimes Moon signs aren’t that easy to decipher. It’s easy to grasp overall characteristics of the signs and then learn how to identify their specific traits. But what people seem to forget it that Moon represents the deepest side of us & our inner world - it’s uncommon to really see someone’s side of it unless you really pay attention. Sometimes I’m surprised to see what someone’s Moon sign is even if I know this person well. Meaning, people usually hide that part of them - or they just simply process it internally and others can’t see their emotional reactions. It’s also uncommon for folks these days to fully express their emotional needs so it gets even trickier to pin-point their Moon characteristics. I don't think I have to mention this but, of course, your entire chart should be taken into account, as well as house placement, aspects. Personally, I like to also look at Moon's dispositor.
Let’s start from my friends, Gemini Moons, who, I feel, get a bad rep for not showing their feelings and scanning every emotion like an AI. Nah-ah. I know this one Gemini Moon whose immediate emotional reactions aren’t very cerebral in the sense of processing everything in the mind and intellectualizing it aka, what people like to label as being un-emotional. Instead her reactions are often fast (air energy) but physically expressed through Mercury (Gemini Moon’s dispositor) and Sun (overall identity) – she has them both in Aries. She’s a crybaby who can burst into tears in a matter of seconds. So she’s not something that would stereotypically be assigned to a Gemini Moon. But what I did notice is that all Gemini Moons tend to have this weird look on their face when they’re processing stuff. As if they were about to have a brain malfunction; they stop and have that specific worried look. They also like to either gossip or tell stories (either real or made up lol); they’re great with words - they can talk for hours if they feel comfortable with you. They just crave interaction and mental stimulation. Their quick reactions tend to make them effortlessly witty. Even if they’re a withdrawn Gemini type, they make up for it through social media and technology or just a quiet exploration. My shy Cancer pal with Moon in Gemini is now a brand/website designer and an instagram queen who travels the world. This is great energy for content creators in general. And don’t forget that Geminis need to have their fingers in many pies. It’s because they always have a backup plan… and they get bored easily so they need that chaos around them to feel at home. They like to have options in everything, which is kind of funny cause it’s hard for them to make up their minds and actually choose something. And they store a lot of information in their brains… I feel like it must be exhausting, no? 
On the other side of the axis, whenever I see someone with a Sagittarius Moon, I can immediately say “yup, a Sag Moon indeed” (probably thanks to my Sag stellium), meaning, they all seem the same to me. Sag Moons often find comfort in exploration - best if it’s literal travel. They always seem to need to free themselves from their surroundings, family, roots or their own culture to discover something new and exciting, even if it’s only in the imaginary words - through books, movies and other medias. Their happiness always lies somewhere else from where they currently are. Like, I think all Sagittarius Moons that I know have left their parents and went their own paths early on. And they have this yolo attitude. Just like Sagittarius Suns, they’re massive dorks, probably also obnoxious… sometimes in a REALLY annoying way. They’re either a) very wise and curious b) lil preachy and stuck up c) just plain dumb clowns with no filter. But they’re all funny. And they take things lightly, with a natural ease. This means sometimes they may offend other people just because they assume everyone’s as chill as they are; „relax! I was just kidding!” - that’s a phrase you’ll hear from them often… I mean, unless you’re a jokester yourself and you’re unmoved by their sarcastic or teasing words. They have somewhat spiritual or philosophical nature so besides making you laugh, be prepared for deep monologues. They want to believe everything will eventually fall into place. It’s also hard to bring them down - or I should say, it’s hard to make them acknowledge that they're feeling down - they always try to distract or cover it up with a joke, usually a self-depricating one. If Sagittarius Moon (or Sagittarius in general tbh) is telling you that they’re unhappy, then it’s serious.
I’ve noticed there comes a point in life for a Libra Moon where they just have enough. They’re too nice for everyone and one day they wake up and yell about how they have to do everything for everyone and everyone wants something from them and bLah bLah. Makes me think of when Bieber was this overly nice kid and then he was like “I’M NOT TAKING PICTURES WITH FANS ANYMOREEEE AAGhJFJFUWIUq”. Yup, a Libra Moon, everyone. They know how to charm and appeal to people, I think overall they’re easily liked by others. Sometimes it’s simply because they like to kiss people’s ass just to avoid being rejected. That’d be a Libra Moon’s nightmare. They like other people’s company too much. And they thrive in relationships and in a big circle of friends. What they hate is confrontations (like every other Libra placement omg). They may be good mediators when it comes to other people but if they’re involved in an argument they get sooooo passive aggressive. They just don’t know how to handle conflicts - it’s as if their nervous system wasn’t designed for emotional outbursts (because, you know, everything needs to be peaceful and harmonious Venus-style). A fussy or angry Libra Moon will suddenly get loud as they blame someone for something… and then they’ll leave the room cause they’re scared to even hear the other side of the argument. Or, alternatively, they’ll make a doormat out of themselves just to stay quiet and avoid causing any rift. And making decisions? I think it’s common for them to have two different romantic interests and feeling so dramatically torned between them *Alexa play Agony from Into the Woods*. Then when they decide, they have problems breaking the bad news to one of them.
On the other end we have Aries Moons. *deep breath* Listen, I think I’ve said enough about having Moon in Aries (or rather purely dissing it) but last time it made a bit of controversy so why not wreak even more havoc. I have a good description for this one: I will punch you but be gentle with me cause it’s easy to break my fragile heart. So basically, imagine putting Buttercup and Bubbles into one person. And honestly, I need to say this, women with this placement are just hot badasses, look at friggin Angelina Jolie. The queen of badass. The queen of hot. People say because Aries folks move quickly (literally and figuratively lol), they often get bored with whatever got them excited last week... or yesterday. Ha, yeah, right. You get their heart to open up and they’re going to have their eyes for you ONLY, like a lil puppy. Give us treats and we’ll build our world around you. But NOT in a clingy way by any means, we need our space and independence after all. My lil niece is an Aries Moon and ever since I started playing guitar with her, she became my #1 fan or something. That’s the energy. But we get easily bored with day-to-day stuff so yeah, there’s that. Innocent and clumsy yet raw in their emotions - so there’s potential to make mistakes sometimes (or a lot of times) or having this tunnel vision, like „I want this and I don’t care about anything else!”. And then excusing it with some „but the heart wants what it wants” crap (looking @ ya, Selena Gomez). They experience constant inner movement and turbulence that needs a physical outlet in order to feel satisfied. WE NEED PASSION IN OUR LIVES, OKAY?!?!?? now leave me alone
Aquarius Moons aren’t as cold as you might think. People like to describe them as if their Moons actually disappeared from their charts: dEtaCheD, uNeMotiOnaL, tHey fEeL nOtHinG. It’s just they don’t sit and dwell on things, they find solutions to the problems. If something doesn’t make them feel right, they just leave that situation. They do care about other people’s well-being, they’re very sensitive in that regard, they’re humanitarians after all. Yeah, they detach, but from their own emotions - in order to make sense of them. They may seem like snow queens sometimes (and this comes from an Aqua rising) but they’re really friendly and if you pique Aqua Moon’s interest, they’re going to be curious about you. They like new exciting things so if you’re cool enough, you have their attention. Usually they’re pretty progressive as well and can’t stand injustice. That’s why you’ll see them standing up for those who are in need. Uranian energy gives them a specific type of sharp intuition and wit. Idk they’re just cute in a quirky way. But this buzzing, fast energy is a great recipe for anxiety, over-thinking and frequent changes of heart. Similarly to Sadges, they need constant exploration and stimuli. Intelligent, people-oriented (but not people-pleasing! Look to Libras for that), individualistic. They definitely need their own space and independence. Their decision-making is fast and it’s easy for them to just say „screw it, I’m doing this”. My Aquarius Moon friend just casually decided that she’s moving to Turkey cause nothing in our city (or even country) seems interesting or helping her expand… So she was like, see ya suckers, I’m leaving.
Leo Moons shine from within. You’ll spot them from a mile away even if they’re on the shyer side. They’re all lil stars no matter their profession. Very expressive people & easily excitable. Art galleries, live shows, theater - they love a creative environment even if they don’t pursue that lifestyle themselves... One of my Leo Moon friends is an art junkie – suggest taking her to an obscure play at the local bar, a music festival, a weird museum – she’ll say yes in the blink of an eye. And she loves discussing these things. A Leo Moon may not see themselves as artistically inclined, but usually sooner or later they at least try dipping their toes in music, arts, acting, dancing... you name it. They’ll learn a simple 3-chord song on a ukulele and then play it to you in excitement. Imagine a lil kid making you a puff piece and being super proud of it. Sometimes they just need some encouragement. Remember, Leos feed off of praise, that’s their fuel. Doesn’t mean they’re all proud, egotistical people but what it does mean is that they need a lil assurance to gain their self-confidence. I lived with a Leo Sun/Moon for almost 15 years (who’s a musician btw so yeah, a classic creative Leo type) - he did have some issues lol but ego wasn’t one of them. Drama followed him everywhere but I’m pretty sure he disliked it himself. BUT, with that being said, I feel like Leo Moons tend to dramatize themselves internally. People say it’s something Virgos or Geminis would do - because of their tendency to overthink, but Leos can just go straight to a worst-case scenario in their heads simply because they exaggerate everything. So don’t be surprised to see a Leo Moon feeling down and anxious. On the bright side, be their cheerleader and they’ll give that to you in return. They need sparks and dullness kills their upbeat spirit. They need to feel their own heartbeat so the feeling of excitement is crucial for their well-being. Romantic, giving and kind. They’re fixed fire so once they’re set on something or someone, they give their all and are rather loyal.
I feel like my chart low-key tells me I should dislike Taurus Moons but I just want to melt in their arms and just stay there? Like, forever? Low maintenance but a bit slow-moving and stubborn. They won’t settle easily, at least not officially, so you need to have a lot of patience with them. They need 3 things to feel secure and at peace: physical stimuli, time and a stable place they know they can always come back to. And it’s not like all of them are total lazy homebodies, they may be active spirits & travellers but they are going to have a reallyyyyy nice cosy flat somewhere near their childhood place (gotta be be close to their moms, you know). Not necessary materialistic but they may have one thing that they collect throughout their entire life and they won’t. ever. get. rid. of. it. There needs to be at least one constant in their life - like you know when Elton John decided to go to therapy but one thing he stuck to was shopaholism? Very Taurus Moon of him. Also, they’re very affectionate. In fact, may have issues differentiating between affection and passion - this is actually something Taurus Moon and Aries Moon have in common. Pro tip - and this is in regard to all Taurus placements - don’t smell bad when you’re around them (I mean, don't smell bad in general, no one likes stinky people lol). They have a sensitive smell. Doesn’t help that they like to smell everything. EVERYTHING. I swear, Taurus, stop sticking your nose in every single thing!!! You don't need to know how that piece of utensil smells like. Jeez.
Scorpio Moon (shoutout to those who remember me accidentally calling them sporpio last time I made a post on Moons lol). I honestly don’t know what to tell you... I feel like all you hear about Scorpio Moon is 100% true, there’s nothing to debunk here. It’s the Moon of extremes. Prone to jealousy and surpressing emotions; severe trust issues; they’re instigators. I was low-key bullied by a few Scorpio Moons when I was in school so there’s that. Very secretive and private. Scorpio Moon will be like “I’m in control of the situation!!!!” and you’ll just look at them and think, yeah, right, looks like the situation is controlling you. But keep being in denial, sure. Like, don’t get me wrong, Scorpios in general can be TOTAL SWEETHEARTS OMG but ya’ll have issues. Even celebrities who have this placements... Think Beyonce or Lady Gaga, Miley Cyrus... I feel like they have issues lol, especially with control and the need for everything to be perfectly the way they want it to be. To be fair, that’s probably why they’re all so influential and high status: it’s either their way or highway. They need constant reinvention; they’re the ones to wake up one day and decide they’re going through a spiritual awakening blah blah. They also like to talk about dark and shocking topics while having casual lunch with you... So like, be warned that you may end up with a depressed mood after talking to them for 10 minutes. And their mood swings... don’t even get me started on that.
I don't know where to start with Virgo Moons... I feel like they're very calculated and nit-picky but they're a lot warmer than Virgo Suns. I think I called them softies in my last Moon post. Very sweet people but prone to anxiety. You gotta experience seeing them having a heart attack over someone mixing bananas with milk or messing with their stuff that’s been put in a perfect arrangement. I saw a Virgo Moon once literally squealing shouting "YOU'RE GONNA RUIN YOUR LAPTOP WITH THAT SUPERGLUE!!!" Highly entertaining to watch, not gonna lie. Gordon Ramsay has his Moon in Virgo - it’s conjunct Uranus and Pluto so that’s an extreme but I think him being fed up with people over small inconsistencies in their food prep is a perfect example of this energy (btw his chart is hilarious, it literally explains EVERYTHING). They're VERY picky with their food as well, just as Virgo Suns tend to be. Like, they’ll only have a specific type of single origin coffee or they’ll be vegan or something. Self-critical over their work, which is a plus... except for when finishing a simple task takes them a few hours because they want to make it perfect. They take everything seriously. This of course doesn't mean they're total bores - on the contrary, Mercurial energy gives them witty approach and a talent for choosing the right words at the right time. Tho they can be a bit awkward or shy with it. Can be as bubbly as Gemini but the grounded earthy energy gives them more practical and almost nurturing nature - earth signs are providers after all and Virgo is the sign of service - helping others is like their second nature. I’ve noticed they often find comfort in devoting themselves to a choosen task - this is why if they pursue something, they’re really good at it. They’re also very likely to dissect their emotions.
I’m not a fan of water Moons in general but Pisces Moon is the best water Moon in my opinion. Maybe because I like Pisces overall. I think it’s like a tweaked Sagittarius Moon - just more internalized, withdrawn & gloomy. But unlike Sag, who has a tendency to be an adventurous optimist, Pisces likes to focus on the negatives instead. Obviously, they can be very upbeat, they’re Jupiter-ruled after all, but there’s somehing whiny about them lol. Just like Sadges, they dream big and have their standards put up sooo high but if there's not much active energy in their charts, they’re often too passive to actually fullfill any of that - or I should say, they’re stuck daydreaming about it, believing it’ll just magically manifest for them... OR they do everything with an apathetic approach. What I do like about them is that they’re funny. And really chill - sometimes to the point of coming off as confused or hazy. I feel like a lot of them would just love to sleep all day... or sit by the lake and just think about the world. Most of them are also compassionate folks - again, maybe a bit too much. Hey Pisces, you don’t have to take everything to heart, it’s okay. On the bright side, they have big imagination and the ability to disconnect and just create. I have a few Pisces Moons in the family: one’s that sleepy artistic type with grand visions, one is an asshole-ish but funny entrepreneur with a questionable work ethic and one is a witty IT guy who’s actually a workaholic and likes to shut in his own world of computers and numbers or whatever he does there... So there’s this factor of tunnel vision, escapism and, on the more negative side, being kinda iffy and almost addicted to the way they want things to be. Once they set their eyes on something it’s done deal…
My issue with Capricorn Moons is that they're often trying to be sooooo mature omg, like, loosen up a bit. It usually starts when they're in their later teens... They can be the most rebellious kid that likes to have fun and suddenly they'll be like "I'm too old for this ugh grow up" *judgmental stare*. My 18-year old niece once literally roasted my sister that she's in her 30s and still doesn't have her own place (well so do I so I guess she also indirectly roasted me as well???). And she was SO deadpan with it. Because she herself wants to be independent and start a family before turning 25. This is classic Capricorn Moon energy. They suck out joy out of everything lol. Of course, OF COURSE, it depends on the whole chart but I feel like worst-case scenario is that at one point in their life (or maybe even a few times throughout it) they go through a massive shake-up that makes them change their attitude and re-evaluate their structures. There's this multi-instrumentalist Yvette Young - she's a sweet, funny Cancer/Leo mix but her Moon is in Capricorn. She used to be a competitive pianist but the pressure that was put on her has led her to severe health issues. Like yes, she’s now an extremely talented musician - thanks to family’s expectations & a rigid schooling system (Saturn) but it did cost her a lot. She has recovered since then but I think it's a perfect example of this energy. It’s very ambitious and hardworking but emotionally demanding in the sense that you have to actually put your emotions aside in order to deal with the rest. Another thing, because Moon can be associated with family, there's often a weird dynamic surrounding this topic. I don't think I've met a Capricorn Moon that had a completely healthy and happy relationship with their fam or one of the family members. Or, alternatively, there can be a strong bond between one of them but usually created in the atmosphere of hardships.
Last but not least, Cancer Moons. I had three school friends with this placement and all of them made this sad, whiny face as they said „oh I don’t knoooow anymoreee”  when they were feeling torned or frustrated. To be fair, two of them are water Suns so for them, it added to the mushyness. All Cancer Moons I know are family people or better yet, baby people. One of those school friends is now a guidance counsellor, working with kids; the other turned her instagram into a gallery of her own child after she gave birth. So much kid content, omg. There’s also something very indecisive about them… or I should say, hesitant. They’re not very fast at making decisions. Also, what’s interesting, they’re kind of like walking libraries, they remember a lot – so they store a lot of information in their brains just like air signs but they process it in a completely different way – emotional, obviously. I think this also makes them hold grudges a lot. For them it’s more of a question of „how does it make me feel?” rather than „how valid is it?”. There’s certain stubborness in them in that regard because they don’t keep their minds open. It’s also hard for them to walk away from people and situations, like a crab pinching you with its claws – it won’t let go. Sensitive but not easy to open up; very protective of themselves and their loved ones & they tend to shut down in their crab shells. But they may crave connection and the feeling of belonging. Also very caring and with a big imagination. They’re very receptive of their environment so mood swings are a thing for them.
1K notes · View notes
realcube · 4 years
Text
characters dealing with a deep sleeper! s/o  (_ _)。゜zzZ
characters: bokuto, oikawa & saiki k 
tw// swearing, fluff, mentions of death, illness, funerals, sexual references 
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Kōtarō Bokuto
he literally thought you died 
this was your first time sleeping over at his home and last night, y’all were stuffing your faces with treats until your stomachs ached
you had mentioned several times how you were feeling sick - even after bokuto took you out for a late-night run - but he just told you to take a pain-killer and sleep it off
but now he was kinda regretting not calling someone to help 
like what if the sickness was a symptom to a deadly disease which took you overnight?
plus, he had tried everything he could think of to wake you up: he shook you, he blasted music from his phone, he opened the curtains to allow blinding light to shine on you, he flicked spits of cold water onto your face and he literally wafted cookies around the room in hopes you’d catch the scent 
but it was no use as even after all that, you didn’t move an inch
he tried to check your pulse which he believed to be on the wrist but he couldn’t think it 
so either he was too stupid to find the exact location or......you didn’t have a pulse
he’ll admit, it was an eerie thought that there could be a dead person in his bed rn but even he considered that a rather outlandish idea 
how could a person as healthy as you just die overnight? so he did what any reasonable person would do in that situation-- no, not call a doctor
he held a funeral for his beloved s/o 💀
he gathered all five of the plushies laying around his room (all of which were owls) and lined them up on the foot of the bed 
‘we are all gathered here today to celebrate the epic life of my partner, (y/n) (l/n).’ he sobbed into the sleeve of the black blazer he had pulled out of his closet, ‘gone too soon.’
silence. but in his mind he was met by a chorus of ‘aww’s and whimpers from the crowd
‘i loved them. (y/n) was my rock; they helped me through some of the hardest points in my life--’
his speech was cut off upon hearing one of the audience members pipe up, ‘bo, what are you doing?’
a wave of excitement washed over him as he scurried up to the line of guests, closely examining each one, ‘i didn’t know y’all could talk!’
you rolled your eyes before leaning forward and gently tapping the back of his head, ‘it’s me.’
upon laying his eyes on you, healthy and alive, his lips curled into a foolishly large grin as he immediately pulled you into a tight hug, ‘(Y/N), you’re alive!’ he cried
you gasped at his rather dramatic reaction before slowly melting into his embrace, ‘yes, i am.’
as your lips parted from the skin of his jaw and he slowly let his arms fall from your waist, you finally inquired, ‘did you hold a funeral for me?’
bokuto’s eyes-widened at your ‘crazy’ suggestion, ‘uhhhh, nooooo.’
if his elongating of each word wasn’t enough to show that he was lying, the dead giveaway would have to be the sheet of A4 paper with ‘(Y/N)’S FUNERAL 😭’ written on it that was stuck to the door with blu-tac
ignoring his completely false reply, you leaned back on the bed and picked up on the owl plushies, gently stroking it’s soft fur, ‘are these the guests? why are there only five?’
bokuto shrugged, picking up one himself and absentmindedly attempting to balance it on your head, ‘seven; if you count me and you.’
you giggled, about to make a inquire about the names of each guest until bokuto suddenly through his arms around you again 
‘why didn’t you tell me that you are such a deep-sleeper before?! i was so worried - i thought you died! please never die on me again, (y/n)?’
you smiled, pulling back to plant a sweet kiss on his cheek, ‘i promise.’
Tumblr media
Tōru Oikawa
he would take advantage of this opportunity lol
the first time y’all slept over together as a couple, he had no idea that you were as deep of a sleeper as you actually are
like he thought you meant ‘i sometimes sleep through my alarms’ deep-sleeper
NOT ‘IT TAKES A WHOLE NATURAL DISASTER TO WAKE ME UP IN THE MORNING’ DEEP-SLEEPER (/h)
anyway, at first, he’d probably just freshen up while you sleep: take a shower, wash his face, brush his teeth, floss etc so he’s no longer effected by that ✨morning crust ✨
but when he pokes his head out of the bathroom and noticed that your sleep asleep, he tries to blow-dry his hair bc he knows how much you like it when it’s all fluffy
but his blow-dryer was quite loud so he put it on for a few seconds to see if it’s wake you up and just as he expected, you were still sound asleep
so he blew-dry his hair until it was that soft texture that you liked so much- all while you were still like (∪.∪ )...zzz even though the blow-dryer was making a racket 
you were still sleeping and upon looking at the time, he realised that it was completely fair considering it was currently half past 8 and he had just woken up extremely early for some unknown reason
he didn’t want to wake you so he was just doing to go out for a run or make breakfast until he caught a glimpse of himself in mirror
o.O
despite his  puffy hair and pearly-white smile, he still looked sloppy
but it was definitely bc of his stained, torn, washed-out pyjamas tbh
he was just wearing an old T-shirt that he’s had for god-knows how long and a pair of grey sweatpants; it wasn’t a look
he had no idea what possessed him to wear such casual nightwear while you were at his house - especially when you chose to wear something so relaxed yet titillating - but he knew that he needed to change
after a while of rummaging through his nightwear drawer, the best he could find was a pair of white, silk, loose-legged trousers which he had bought for a halloween costume many years ago
it was pretty classy though :)) he was sure that you’d like it 
however, he still couldn’t find anything to wear on his top half but there is no fashion problem oikawa can’t solve 
thus, he went shirtless ( •̀ ω •́ )✧
he also threw on some jewellery too, just for the lols
you weren’t awake yet thought, so after he set up some candles to create a ‘mood’, he just sat next to you on the bed, scrolling on his phone and anticipating your reaction once you woke up
for a moment, he thought that he might’ve went when too far but upon taking a look at himself in his front-facing camera, he realised that there was no harm in spicing things up
once he noticed one of your eyes slowly flutter open, he quickly tossed his phone to the side and turned his body to face you, shooting you a kind smile and he gently ran a hand through his fluffy hair, ‘morning, angel~’ he cooed
you grumbled your greeting in response, then proceeded to rub your eyes to make sure you were seeing him correctly, ‘what are you wearing, tōru?’
‘can a guy not dress up for his special someone anymore?’
you rolled your eyes, playfully slapping his chest and going to hop out of bed until he pulled you back down against the sheets
a faint gasp escaped your lips but you were quickly hushed by oikawa pushing his finger against your lips, ‘you’re not going anywhere, (y/n).’
Tumblr media
Kusuo Saiki
this was the first time you ever slept over at his house or next to him yet y’all had been dating for year and a half
he was just scared that he might accidently do something crazy in his sleep (bc of his powers ofc) and the last thing he wanted to do was hurt you 🥺
you were patient with him though but bc y’all had never woken up together before, he had no idea how deep of a sleeper you are
he thought it was cute at first bc you were laying there like the beauty you are, lookin’ all serene and calm and stuff
but after a while, he got bored on his own  #•̀ ︿ •́
also, you promised to bake macarons with him for breakfast and he was hungry as hell, still he didn’t want to eat without you but if he didn’t wake you up rn to make macarons, he’d surely starve to death while they were in the fridge
on any other day, he’d just try do it himself but when you helped him make food- it just hit different 😍
‘(y/n), wake up.’  he spoke into your mind using his telepathy, while light nudging your arm, ‘i’m hungry.’
you didn’t reply, seeming completely knocked out
he tried the next best thing, holding his annoying alarm noise near (but not too close) to your ear
still nothing, though
his last human attempt was aggressively pulling your blanket away but even after that you showed no signs of waking up so he realised that he’d have to resort to using his physic abilities
he considered using his astral projection to possess your body but he felt as though taking over your body might cross a few boundaries 
but he did try duplicating himself so he could shake you from many different angles but it was still no use
he continued to use his telepathy to try wake you up but it didn’t seem to work either
after multiple different attempts of using his powers to try wake you up; here he was, standing in the middle of some dystopian, apocalyptic scene - alarms ringing in the distant along with sirens, screaming, honking and wails. everything around him seemed to be engulfed by flames which created thick, smoky air 
he wasn’t really sure how he got here but he was pretty sure it started around the time he tried to form an energy ball 
whatever 🤷‍♂️ it’s no biggie
he jumped back in time so he was standing next to your bed once again, exactly where he left off before he created the energy ball
he stared down at your sleeping figure and let out an exasperated sigh as he realised that he’d have to employ one of his most dangerous tactics
he really hoped it didn’t have to come to this
‘(y/n), if you get up right now.’ his voice rung through your head, ‘i speak with my voice.’
just like that, both of your eyes shot open as you hastily sat up on the bed
‘do it, saiki!’ you cheered, a foolishly large grin plastered on your features
and he couldn’t help but smile too 
curse you for being so cute
744 notes · View notes
olderthannetfic · 3 years
Text
Ah, I do see your points, anon. I'm not going to post all your asks publicly because if you really feel that unsafe, it's probably best not to have a bigass chunk of your text for people to analyze and try to guess your identity from. I think one of the best points you made is about how close to home it hits when the non-fave is not only your fave but is similar to you in some way like demographic. You're not wrong for having those emotions. I do wonder if they make it hard to see how some other people feel similarly embattled on other axes.
TBH, I think one of the big problems here is that the large aggregate patterns you're talking about are racist, but most individual fics and fans are not really the problem. It's hard to know how to talk about this or who to tell to "fix" it when we're looking at free, hobbyist art.
A lot of people's tastes are certainly formed by shitty society, but once they're formed, they don't change fast if at all. Asking someone to rewrite their libido is a big ask, yet tumblr does it all the time as though it's as simple as snapping your fingers.
This leaves me with the sense that a lot of tumblr is... like... the political lesbians of porn fic or something: desire is not real, only choosing based on logic and politics. Or maybe people are so asexual that they just don't understand the lizard brain's "YES!" at some porn things and complete indifference to others?
I don't think it's great if great swaths of people feel like bottom!Nicky is super hot and top!Nicky fundamentally isn't, but I also don't think they can necessarily just turn it off like flipping a switch.
(If someone reading this doesn't like their current tastes and wants to attempt to alter them, I do think it's possible. What you should do is line up a large slate of media that prominently features characters of the ethnicity or whatever that you don't find hot/interesting. These should be leads whose emotional development drives the plot and is supposed to be central to the audience's enjoyment of the media. Watch/read/etc. this media all the time. All. The. Time. Try out many pieces because you won't like every character or every show, and we're looking for genuine enjoyment, not the fandom equivalent of a pity fuck. Spend enough time on this, and your unconscious sense of who's hot and interesting will eventually shift somewhat. This is a project you should expect to take a few years.)
But I digress.
The one tweet thing is a very toxic pattern. If TOG fandom is doing that, guys, please try to be more conscious of holding the actors of color to a higher standard (or the women or whomever). I know this often comes from a place of paying more attention to our own and wanting to set a good standard, but the effect is that minorities can't fuck up ever while white dudes get infinite passes.
Okay, on to the fic thing... Gotta say, my instant reaction to that description is "Ooh!"--as it would be for the same scenario with the characters reversed. (Ships who start out trying to kill each other are my favorite! x1000 if they're resurrecting style immortals and they literally do.) I can see how it would feel like slamming into a brick wall if you aren't kinky in just the right way and you didn't know it was coming though.
Part of why I react so strongly to a lot of discourse that runs along these lines is that I am a naturally extremely kinky person. It's not so much about what I do (which as a deeply lazy person in a long distance relationship is essentially nothing), but it's absolutely how I'm wired.
And I can tell you that my quotidian experience in fandom is sharing something I don't even realize is a big deal only to have someone I like, respect, and trust react in horror and tell me that it's triggering and awful and should not be allowed in fandom spaces because it makes "people" unsafe. It's such an instant, kneejerk reaction they don't even realize I was sharing it because it spoke to the very core of me. Lesson learned, friend. Lesson learned.
That sounds a bit off topic, I know, but bear with me: The point of that anecdote is that it's pretty common for me to get people trying to raise my awareness of things I have already thought deeply about while denying my essential humanity and not even realizing. As a kinky person who likes to make my fave the top (and generally a conflicted sadist), this constant request to explain and justify is exhausting.
I doubt most of the top!Joe fans have this precise problem simply because people who make their fave the top are much less common in fandom than people who make their fave the bottom, but I see a similar pattern with fans who are just fundamentally wired for rape fantasies (one of the most common fantasies that exists) vs. fans who just don't get rape fantasies at all. Or substitute your BDSM/kinky/messed up fantasy trope of choice. Covertly radical feminist attitudes towards kink and power are on the rise in fandom, and as a naturally kinky person, boy do I notice it!
I know that it feels like crucial activism to share these insights about why the ratio of top!Joe is hurtful, and the pain you feel is real. But it's also the case that it's a big ask to want people to listen. (Not me. Obviously, I routinely choose to engage with discourse. I mean overall.) The reason for that is that you're only seeing a fraction of what they do or who they are, and you don't know how many previous people they've listened to how many previous times. It's a very different situation from someone whose job is making some major TV series or movie or something. That person does, in my opinion, owe you some amount of listening.
Now, I'm not saying no top Joe fan was ever a jerk. I'll bet they were. There's a tendency to be rude and to publicly air your schadenfreude when you feel like everyone has been yelling at you. What I am saying is that a lot of the problem here boils down to conflicting needs, and that means there isn't a good solution. It's a situation where people are genuinely hurt, but I don't necessarily agree that other people have harmed them.
I like that you did an actual count of the explicit fics, btw. It's good to look at the real numbers. I see too little of that in these situations. My off the cuff reaction is that 2/3 to 1/3 is not a bad ratio at all compared to many fandoms, but yeah, it definitely shows a strong trend, and that can be painful. (I have a fandom where I think there's maybe like 1 bottom so-and-so fic in the entire zine era fandom. One. It's pretty extreme.)
I guess my thinking here overall is: What is the practical solution? What are we hoping to gain? What is reasonable to ask of people?
And it can't be "Well, if they would just listen..." That's just a sneaky way of saying "If you haven't done it my way, it's because you haven't listened to me yet."
So the question I would ask of people is this:
What does a non-racist fic where Joe tops look like?
What does a non-racist sex pollen, dubcon, or even noncon fic where Joe tops look like?
And if you say the latter is impossible... well... sadists exist everywhere in the world. So do doms. So do people who prefer to top in a purely physical sense. People with rape fantasies where they're the rapist exist (people who are not actually rapists, I mean). None of this is restricted to any one group. We can't categorically say fic like that about Joe is coming from a place of racism without denying the fundamental humanity of kinky MENA people who'd want to make Joe like themselves or like their ideal partner. (Yes, I agree this won't be the majority of fic writers writing top!Joe, but this is a place to start for figuring out what the better version would look like.)
IDK, maybe you're that kinkster yourself, but your asks gave me the vibe that you don't really get the drive towards those darker kinds of fics and what might be motivating it besides stereotypes and shittiness.
If we can answer these kinds of questions, we can better critique the way people write what they write without telling them all of their taste is bad and they should just stop writing. Even if we think the latter is true, it isn't going to get us anywhere. Figuring out how to make Joe more multidimensional in the fic they already want to write or finding very specific wording that should be avoided might actually work.
Beyond that, the actions I think are productive would be running prompt fests, exchanges, or other events for bottom!Joe or for top!Joe where he's the main character and the fics are required to be from his POV. Themed collections and recs lists are great. (I've seen a bit of this going around in TOG fandom in the past, and that's an excellent approach! Keep it up!) Positive actions tend to work better here. Make more of what you want. Promote what you want to see.
I don't mean this in some fluffy magical thinking way: you aren't going to change that ratio radically just by the power of positivity. But I've seen this kind of thing play out in many, many fandoms, and going after the people who write what you don't like, even in a well-intentioned effort to educate and even in a polite, kind way doesn't do much. A few people feel guilty. A few feel defensive. A lot ignore you. The overall fic doesn't change. It's not a good use of your limited time and energy.
I'm off to look up that fic to see what I think of it in practice, but I'm going to post this before tumblr manages to eat it.
70 notes · View notes
elysianslove · 4 years
Note
Hello! I know this may not be your thing but I decided to give it a shot, if not no biggy!
I was wondering if you would be interested in writing Gojo and/or Sakuna with an asexual lover? (One that doesnt feel sexual attraction but doesnt mind kissing and cuddling etc and loves physical affection but nothing beyond that?) And like, how a relationship with that kind of person would come to be?
Because Sakuna and Gojo both give off *he totally fucks* vibes.
So how they ended up with an asexual lover would be interesting, maybe the MC rejects their advances because fear of being hated for being Ase? Because they know that the other person definitely fucks.
How would their relationship work? How would the guy react/comfort the MC.
(Maybe it ends with a epilogue with no sex(as in penetration and blowjobs to be exact but mc later in a relationship would be willing to do things like handjobs and other hands on/Using toys to pleasure their partner because they cant in that way) but lots of passionate makeout sessions/kissing/sucking and worshiping the mc's body? Especially the collar bone)
If you arent into it that's cool! I totally get it!
This is pretty self indulgent after all ahahaha it's hard being an asexual in fandoms lmao.
hi my love!! okay to start off, i’m really honored you sent in this request to me. idk just the fact that you’re trusting me with it is really sweet hehe. i’m fairly knowledgable about sexuality but i don’t like to write about things i’m not 100% sure about because i don’t wanna risk doing anything wrong or accidentally offending you! but!! thank you for going into detail with the request, and i hope this is what you were looking for, and that i didn’t do any mistakes <3
i wrote headcanons so i can go into detail and write for both!! 
some nsfw under the cut, my loves! <3
Tumblr media
ryomen sukuna 
i’d say, to begin with, it would take a small while for sukuna to even be accepting of his own feelings towards you. nothing having to do with your sexuality, just you in general, specifically that you’re human and so different from him. i don’t think sex ever crosses his mind, at least at the start, because he’s too busy being really angry over the way he can’t seem to control his reactions to every little thing you do. so he himself won’t actively work at starting a relationship with you.
but he will realize, over time, that you’re not doing anything either, even though he’s been noticing that you’re not pushing him or his advances away. like any act of protectiveness that involves him physically touching you intimately, you don’t reject, and you’re always ready to retort at any quip he had. he could tell that these feelings he had for you were mutual, he was just so confused as to why you weren’t doing anything about it.
sukuna’s a thousand year old cursed spirit. he does not know shit about sexuality. i think the way he’d look at it is fuck who you want and fuck who you like. i feel like nicki minaj’s said that before, has she? he doesn’t like thinking too much about it, you know? 
his confession would probably be a kiss because words? he doesn’t know them. when he feels you return the kiss he’s, deep down, elated, really, and this is simply because of his naturally sexual personality, he starts hinting at more, until you stop him. he’s really confused because you just kissed him back? you’ve been kissing him for so long why do you want to stop now? he can see the fear steadily growing in your eyes and he’s even more confused now he’s just. humans are so weird. 
when you cautiously tell him, “i don’t want to go further than this. is that okay?” you look like you’re waiting for the world to erupt in your face. he just frowns and shrugs like, “yeah but that’s not the point. do you not want me?” 
it takes about an hour and a half for sukuna to properly process what you’re saying. at first he’s so thrown off by it, not by you! he just can’t process the fact that someone doesn’t feel any sexual attraction towards someone or doesn’t crave sex at all. it’s not that he’s rude about it, it’s just a really foreign concept to him, you know? when you add that it’s just sex, and you’re okay with a lot of other things, the gears in his brain finally start working again and he just goes. 
*shrugs* ok. 
literally lmao. like i said earlier, sukuna doesn’t give a shit like whatever do what you want. 
because of the rush of emotions he’s feeling towards you, and the fact that this in itself, a relationship, and a relationship with a human too, he doesn’t really focus on the fact that he might want more from you. he’s easily satisfied with a lengthy make out session, and he admits it to you every time he sees you get a little anxious or unsure of yourself. 
however, his needs do grow with your relationship. it’s kind of clumsy, your transition into a proper long term relationship, especially with sukuna, but you two make it work. 
you agree to try different ways to pleasure him, even if he kinda rushes through them because he’s generally just excited to have your hands on him. at first he’s content with anything you’re offering, but it makes him feel kinda useless when you won’t let him touch you and you have to remind him that your needs are different than his and that you’re sated differently.
i see sukuna as a curious and experimental guy, so he would definitely let you use toys on him. nothing too extreme, because he still needs that sense of control, but you do use some toys like a fleshlight or a vibrator to rile him up. he likes using your hand too, because it’s always so soft against him and it feels a hundred times better than any toy. he learns not to overstep any boundaries though, and not to do anything that might make you uncomfortable even if it takes him a little longer. like i said, the whole idea is just different to him, so it takes him a while to understand, and he’s still learning as he goes!
he loves your make out sessions, especially after you establish your boundaries and your limits and what you’re willing to do for him. he absolutely adores leaving your skin a sky of blue, pink and purple it sends chills down his spine marking you like that. he’s always touching you all over, and just loves to grab and knead at your skin. 
in the proper long term, he doesn’t mind it at all tbh. the two of you develop a system, and he’s okay with it. the same way you would never cross his boundaries and force him to do anything he doesn’t want, he’d do for you too! it really never truly mattered, and it truly never will.
gojō satoru
different from sukuna, i think gojō would definitely be knowledgable about things like this. idk he just seems like the kind of guy that’s innately so aware of everything around him, and can read people exceptionally well.
he probably picked up on the fact that you weren’t comfortable with sex, or just didn’t experince sexual attraction, on his own, but never really brought it up because it was never his place. but the same way he picks up on that, he picks up on your obvious crush on him. he pays both details no specific attention until he starts to realize his own feelings for you, and begins on his subtle advances.
he tried to make his advances as sfw as possible, you know? just in case his suspicions were confirmed to be true. he was just extra flirty, sometimes touchy but never in an inappropriate way. very subtilely like always having your shoulders or knees touching or dusting of your jacket or feeding you a piece of his food. cute little things like that.
he gets super worried when he notices you start to distance yourself from him, because he can’t imagine what he might’ve did to push you away. he overthinks a little, worried that he overstepped his boundaries or made you uncomfortable in any way, but he isn’t afraid to approach you about it, to make sure he doesn’t repeat his mistakes, especially with someone like you, who he’s slowly growing more and more infatuated by. 
when you admit to him you’re asexual, he realizes he was right, but then he’s like, “and? did i do something?” and now it’s your turn to be confused because here you were worried about rejection but here he was worried about you? 
this specific incident is what makes you let loose and finally just freely admit your feelings for him. he’s ecstatic about it, seriously! all that’s on his mind is that he gets to go on a date with someone he really likes. sex is the last thing on his mind, and yeah, you’ll eventually have to talk about it, but not for now. it’s for later, when things get a little more serious. 
they do get serious, to both your delights, but the dreaded moment is approaching you. gojō definitely sits you down and says, “we’re only having this talk so i know never to do anything outside of your limits. everything about this relationship is 50/50, and i want to know ways to make you feel good, too.” 
please sir your hand in marriage.
i definitely believe gojō’s a kinky guy, and is more than willing to try out literally any sex toy you pull at him. genuinely, he’ll try anything you wanna try. if you ever offer a handjob, he’ll ask a million times over if you’re sure. usually, he likes to just do it himself, but have you there next to him. he won’t touch you, but your hands will be in his hair, and you’ll be kissing his neck, or just murmuring how much you love him in his ear, just spurring him on. he knows the last thing on your mind is anything sexual, but there’s just something about being under your watchful, almost bored gaze as he fucks himself.
anyways before i get too into it lmfao, he loves kissing you. loves loves loves it. not even full blown make out sessions, just gentle, serene kissing. he can kiss you for hours. 
he is also incredible at body worship and praise. paints your pretty collarbone pink and purple, whispers about how you’re perfect for him, describes all your features to you like poetry. he’s an incredible lover, really. nothing can make him fall out of love with you, absolutely nothing. 
581 notes · View notes
hopelesshawks · 3 years
Note
Hey hey pspspsps if ur down to write some genshin headcanons👀👀 I’d loveee to see some modern au Tohma, Xiao, Kaeya, Childe, Zhongli and Diluc headcanons 👀👀 like college age mayhaps 👀👀
Ohhh ok BUCKLE UP KIDS it’s Genshin modern college au headcanons here we go!
Warnings for alcohol mention and very brief mention of recreational drug use
I feel like I should disclaimer that I’m in a coed frat and went to a small to mid size technical school that’s pretty nerdy so my experience with frats is probably very different and not nearly as gross as the like general US State School experience can be
Tohma
Smooth talker, big man on campus 100%
Probably joined a frat literally the minute he could for the connections and so he could meet even more people
Dude has been throwing ragers since like the first month of his freshman year, you don’t know how he knows so many goddamn people on campus he just does
Seems like a player and hopeless flirt but is actually such a dorky little himbo when you get to know him
If you need any kind of recommendation on anything he’s your guy. From the best spots to nap on campus to the best restaurants within walking distance.
In a relationship he’s super open about his affection and probably is into PDA. It’s not a possessive thing, he’s just so in awe he gets to have you that he wants to enjoy every second of it so why miss out on a hug or kiss from you just because there’s a few people around
Xiao
The first several times you interacted you were probably forced too. Like you were partners on a group assignment so he had to deal with you for a little bit and eventually warmed up
Has a reputation among the rest of your class for how standoffish he is so when he started hanging out with you a few of the other people from your year legit were just like “h o w” and you can’t even give them a proper answer tbh because even you don’t know
Is probably some kind of writing/English/history major
Not only is willing to fight anyone who tries to imply his degree isn’t as useful as a STEM one, but actually has gotten in multiple, some of which almost came down to an actual physical fight before you dragged him away
Definitely pouted about you pulling him away but will yell at you if you call it pouting
In a relationship there is almost no PDA. He might hold your hand and if someone makes him jealous enough he may pull you a little closer and/or put himself between the two of you but for the most part he feels like his relationship is no one else’s goddamn business and he has no interest in giving people a show
Kaeya
The biggest little shit as always
Also joined a frat but is mostly in it for the free booze and he says the brotherhood but you’re pretty sure he just likes the way the other members hang on his every word when he speaks
Doesn’t believe in the cult-like level of loyalty some frats expect and so will 1000% report any of his fellow brothers who try to be shady/scummy/gross. No one would dare get mad at him for it so it’s actually helped the frat stay a healthy environment, 10/10 could trust the guys there with your drinks
Honestly at this point the frat is pretty much just Kaeya’s Followers(tm) and by his senior year the juniors get worried about it because “uhhh who becomes Kaeya when Kaeya graduates” and when they try to ask Kaeya this question he just winks and gives an answer that is entirely unhelpful and sounds like it’s at least 80% bullshit
Never seems to go to class and yet somehow always has amazing grades
In a relationship acts very flirty and is constantly teasing you in public, but stops short of anything above mild pda and in private gets really soft and sweet he’ll deny it if you try to point this out in front of others though
Childe
Is in the literal douchiest frat on campus fuck the Fatui like you’re constantly trying to get him to de-brother but he’s got a misplaced loyalty to them that keeps him in the organization
First time you met him you wanted to punch him in the face but he also quickly becomes the only thing stopping you from failing out of a class the two of you share and over the course of that time he manages to win you over at least a little bit
It’s all fun and games until someone pisses him off. He’s another one that you have to try and drag away from physical altercations on a semi-regular basis
Once he notices that you care enough to try and drag him away or worry about him if he’s injured in a fight, he starts picking more of them just to see your reaction
Even if y’all’s relationship is entirely platonic he flirts with you. He thinks it’s funny when he can manage to fluster you so he tries to make a game out of it even if he doesn’t actually mean any of the things he’s saying
If you guys are in a relationship he definitely packs on the PDA, partially to fluster you, partially because he’s possessive and he doesn’t like the way some of his frat brothers look at you sometimes so he wants everyone to be totally clear on who exactly you belong to
Zhongli
Still rich, still never has any fucking money on him. The number of times you’ve had to cover for this man because he’s forgotten his wallet in his dorm or straight up lost it is honestly ridiculous at this point but you can’t even be mad at it because he invites you to his family’s beach house and shit to compensate
He’s the kind of rich where his family has had money forever so he genuinely doesn’t even realize that some things aren’t normal experiences like not everyone grew up with a butler and all designer clothes, etc.
Definitely an Econ major because his parents want him to take over the family corporation but on the low has 0 intentions of doing so and actually intends to create his own start up after graduation and do something he wants to do without having to answer to anyone
He’s so pretty and for what? Mans is oblivious as fuck. Literally half the people on campus that are into dudes have a crush on him but he has no idea and if you try to point it out to him he’ll wave you off
In a relationship he’s either taking you to the shitty Mexican restaurant on campus that’s open until like 3am on weekends or five star restaurants, no in between. You’re either eating like royalty because he knows you deserve it, or eating like broke college kids because he wants the ✨experience✨
He gives me gentlemanly PDA vibes, like he’s not gonna makeout with you in the quad but he’ll kiss your hand or your cheek, hold you close to him, and otherwise make it clear that he’s very much happily in love with you
Diluc
Not only is this man not in a frat, he probably actively campaigns against their existence and isn’t quiet about hating them
Always goes to class and thus always has amazing grades
Won’t get into physical fights the way Childe and Xiao do even though he could hold his own in one if he wanted to, but regularly gets into debates with people and is not afraid to drag you into the middle of it even if it has nothing to do with you
Doesn’t drink which frequently means him playing caretaker/mom friend when y’all go to parties together and while he might complain about it he secretly loves that you trust him to take care of you if you get sloppy drunk/high/crossed
Flusters easily but good at hiding it. If you flirt with this man in public his expression won’t change while he’s telling you to stop fucking around but his face will be going as red as his hair
In a relationship he’s not a fan of PDA but is a fan of you, so while he probably keeps the affection to a minimum while you’re out and about he still is maintaining some sort of physical contact with you most of the time or at the very least is keeping you close
69 notes · View notes
cotccotc · 3 years
Text
Tumblr media
SKZ + a ftm s/o !!
 ◌ ftm (female-to-male) refers to a transgender person who was assigned female at birth, but identifies as male. these people are awesome, lovely, brave, & valid !! (yes that’s part of the official definition !!!! look it up <3)
Tumblr media
part of my eight as fate event !! ( requested by @lixsmullet​ ♡ )
genre/s: fluff, skz x ftm reader
warning/s: mentions of dysphoria, mentions of periods, one very brief implication of transphobia (NOT IN REFERENCE TO THE MEMBERS DW), use of various pet names, swearing, my dumb formatting and commentary uwu
wc: ~1.5k
a/n: i hope i did this req justice !!! i made sure to do a lot of research on topics that might come up in this situation so i hope everything is accurate, but also inclusive for multiple types of people within the ftm umbrella. the descriptions might not be too deep but pls know they were written with a lot of care. OH ALSO i included potential pet names they might use !! i really really hope y’all enjoy this :) lmk what u think !!
◌ CHAN
chan’s known for putting other people’s needs before his own, and this is no exception.
he’d be super giving !!! would buy you “world’s best boyfriend” mugs and shit !!! it’s cringe but you love him so it’s fine !!!
more on top of your doctors appointments or meds than you are tbh
boy oh boy… if you take/decide to start taking testosterone……
LOOK OUT HERE COMES THE T POLICE KJDF
he just wants to do everything he can to help you !!!!! whether it means literally helping you stay on top of things and being your at-home (emotional) therapist, or giving you space.
i feel like he’s very good at detecting how a person feels based on their face or body language, so he’d always be on the lookout in case you might be feeling off or dysphoric.
and, as much as it might pain him, he’d give you as much time/space as you need. once again, he has your best interest in mind 24/7 !!! he just loves you so much, you know? 🥺
potential pet names (as long as you’re ok with them !! that goes for each member.): babyboy (we saw this one coming), foxy/sexy (mostly sarcastic but also… True), sunshine
Tumblr media
◌ MINHO
a thing that i personally love to imagine: minho introducing you to people as his boyfriend
if anybody ever gives either of you a questioning look afterward (either intentionally or not) he wouldn’t waver at all !!! he’d just stand there and keep smiling. because you’re his boyfriend, duh
constantly reminds you how strong you are !! how super tough and cool you are !!! because it’s true !!!!!!!
i feel like i always make him sound like the ceo of Boyfriend Bootcamp in my reactions but i MEAN???
for example, if you’re ever feeling down (for whatever reason. whether it applies to you being trans or not) he’d be like “MAN UP !!! YOU’RE A WARRIOR !!!! ……. a cute one <3333 bUT A STRONG ONE !!!!!!”
in general, i definitely see him as the type of person who’ll just grab your hand or hold you a little closer in situations where he thinks you might feel uncomfortable, and even if he doesn’t directly acknowledge it, you know there’s a lot of love and care behind the gesture.
also… you’re sad? here, hold a cat.
potential pet names: stud (as a joke.. but it stuck), anything that starts with “my” (like my boy, my baby, my love, etc.)
Tumblr media
◌ CHANGBIN
ok listen
i’m not calling changbin lazy
HOWEVER
he will most definitely try and make you do “manly” things for him when he doesn’t feel like it- SJDJJ
imagine his raspy, tough, yet adorably whiny voice being all:
“BAAAABE…. BABYYYYYY….. come lift this fOR MEEEEEEEE”
ESPECIALLYYYY if you’re taller than him oh my Lord
BUT HE’D DENY IT AT ALL COSTS !!!
changbin, pointing to an object on a tall shelf: “BABE can you get this for me? you’re so strong you can do it <3333”
you: “short ass-”
changbin: “hEY”
ALSO if you menstruate, i personally believe that he would be very comforting to have around during that time !!!!! just chillin on the couch !!!!!! vibin !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
your very own personal heating pad <33 jksjfd
potential pet names: babe, bunny, hot stuff (sometimes used for moments of sarcasm !!! there are lots of those..)
Tumblr media
◌ HYUNJIN
he’s very sweet and loving with you, which never changes despite anything you might be going through. like ,,,ever.
i can see him being especially sweet and helpful for someone who doesn’t want to or can’t surgically transition !!!!
would do everything he could to emphasize the fact that you’re his favorite boy !!!!
whether it’s through activities, pet names, playful jokes, etc., he always wants to remind you how manly and lovely you are !! lolll
i present to you a thought that just popped up in my head and Will Not Leave:
you might normally be the little spoon, but if you ever feel a bit off about your body or just don’t want to be held, THIS BOY WILL GET CURLED UP IN A LITTLE SPOON POSITION FOR YOU !! SO VERY FAST !!!
(is it also an excuse for him to be the little spoon? yeah maybe it is-)
potential pet names: hubby (regardless of whether or not you’re married sjdsdf), prince, things that start with “my”
Tumblr media
◌ JISUNG
asks lots of questions !!!!!!! whenever he’s not sure how to proceed with something or has any general questions about being trans or how to support you, he’ll be completely transparent with you about it.
even though it makes him a lil embarrassed 🥺🥺
will overuse the terms “dude” and “bro” just to make you laugh… but you both know there’s a hidden underlayer of validation there
loves cheering you up when you’re not feeling your best !!!
also ,,,,,,Youtube Research Enthusiast
“hey y/n check this out! let’s try it :D” and it’s a two minute video about how to naturally lower your voice
and you go along with it because a.) he’s cute for suggesting it, b.) it could actually be useful, and c.) he’ll look cute stretching his neck for a few minutes and it would be a valuable use of your time to watch him do it <3 jsjdfh
oh also !!!! we know he’s just Like This anyways, but he will indeed take every chance he gets to kiss random parts of your body like your hands, shoulders, the tip of your nose, and anything else you’re comfy with :) he just likes 2 smooch, what can i say?
potential pet names: anything silly !! bubba, baby/babycakes, good lookin’, etc.
Tumblr media
◌ FELIX
this is somewhat similar to what i’d suggested in my nonbinary coming out reaction, but i feel like he’d take a lot of care to make you feel more confident in yourself !!!
especially when it comes to your appearance !!!!! if you ever decide to try out a new hairstyle, different clothing, etc., he’d HYPE YOU UPPPPP omg
you: *exists*
felix: *silly smirk* “my handsome boy.. hehe” 🥺
bakes for u !!!!!!! will come over asap with freshly baked cookies if he even senses you might not be feeling your best !!!!!!!!!!!!!
we all know he’s a real cuddlebug, but since you’ve explained dysphoria to him (to the best of your ability), it’s very important to him that he doesn’t overstep with the physical affection
he might also suggest you use a code word or gesture to signify if it’s ok for him to get all close and cuddly with you !! he knows you have your off days, and the last thing he wants to do is emphasize your insecurities.
he loves you more than anything, and he just wants to see you smile :)
potential pet names: handsome, love, sweets (bc ya know,,, brownie boy things <3)
Tumblr media
◌ SEUNGMIN
would regularly spend hours and hours doing research on trans rights, different forms of transitioning, other people’s perspectives (both in his position and yours), etc
honestly i wouldn’t be surprised if he posted some questions on a website like reddit or quora or something from time to time SJDK (but eventually he’d be much more comfortable asking you directly, especially since he knows not every person is the same)
he really just wants to make sure he understands how you feel to the best of his ability in order to best care for you !!!
VERY VERY diligent if he has to adjust to new pronouns. would practice that shit like it’s his JOB.
i think he’d just be very scared of screwing something up, which you might have to console him about from time to time.
you know he’s trying his best to a.) not make this about himself and b.) do everything in his power to support you
sorta similarly to changbin, i think he’d be nice to have around if you’re ever on your period !! overall, this boy would do his RESEARCH
potential pet names: baby, mister (for some playful sarcasm), bear (or baby bear, honey bear, etc.)
Tumblr media
◌ JEONGIN
if you’re ever feeling dysphoric, depressed, anxious, or generally not the best, he will do WHATEVER IT TAKES to cheer you up.
you: :(
jeongin: “ok fine you have permission to poke my cheeks all day”
you: :D
jeongin: :D
is also very similar to changbin !!!!! he’ll very dramatically give up on a task that requires even the slightest bit of manliness just so you can do it for him…. because he’s laz- i mean thoughtful <33
ok picture something with me besties (and this is quite random so bear with me):
he buys you cologne. cute !! very sweet of him yes <3 …...but the Backstory-
he had No idea what kind to get, so he went to the store and tried on like 10 different kinds until he realized he could just swatch them on a piece of paper so now he’s covered in cologne and he buys the one he thought was his favorite but he comes home to realize it was the WRONG ONE so he has to go back to the store and test them all again until he finds the one
..all just so he could surprise you & make you feel more masculine :’)
anyways LONG STORY SHORT: innie best boy :D
potential pet names: bun (in reference to bread, of course. you must match.), handsome, sexy (BUT ONLY IF YOU SAY IT RIGHT BACK !!!!!! sexy loaf boyfriends aw <3)
Tumblr media
tags: @stayndays, @hanniiesuckle17, @leggomylino, @freckledberries, @kisskissbanggang, @mr-jisung-main, @childofthecosmos, @kpopscape, @skzwriternet, @hyunsins, @sleepylixie, @sunshine-skz, @vera-liscious, @thatrandomoneinthecorner, @cyberskz​, @seungminsaidsta, @somethingrandomworld, @ethan806 ( join my tag list !! )
©️ cotccotc 2021 ~ all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.
149 notes · View notes
quirklessidiot · 4 years
Text
Tumblr media
Title: coward :: warm saki for the cold nights Pairing: Y/N x Miya Atsumu Genre: angst, romance, and very slow burn [ex to lovers au] Warnings: Cursing, alchohol, mentions of unprotected sex, unplanned pregnancy, and mentions of abortion
Synopsis: Atsumu deals with heartbreak again and while doing so, receives an unexpected call that may just help bridge you two again.
notes:
someone said that my character for atsumu was differently written from most fanfiction. tbh the only fuckboy i see in haikyuu is Yuuji HASHHSSHAHA have u seen the piercing and how agressive he is. that def screams fuck boi
also i will be closing the taglist already after this chapter :/ if you guys don’t want to be tagged in the side stories, just message me hehe its not a problem (also i will be updating the side stories every FRIDAY’S) the drabble requests will be open for ten drabbles after the side stories hehe ily all so much. stay safe and i hope you enjoy this chapter!
previous  next   masterlist    
Tumblr media
Atsumu watches you walk out of his life again for the second time.
He doesn’t know what to do or why he’s here on his bed, playing with the silver ring band that he was supposed to give you six years ago after he’d been accepted in the jackals. As much as he was heartbroken by the fact that you didn’t want to get married then, he still wanted to give you a simple ring band as a promise that marriage was never the only way to get him to stick around you.
He couldn’t throw it away even after all these years.
Now that he looks at it, he’s reminded of that time you left him. The first time. 
He really thought it would hurt less this time around. It was the second time after all but it still stings especially now since it was right at his face. He lets out a bitter chuckle, ‘selfish, huh?’ he thought.
Those words were odd coming from you.
In the two year span of your relationship, you were never the selfish one. In fact, he came to the late realization that he was the selfish one between you two in the relationship. Atsumu always thought physical and loud declarations of affection were the key to a healthy relationship, mundane things like sleeping next to each other or being there everyday (hence why long distance relationships were a no go for him) but you, you took it up the notch.
It may have been your first relationship but you were better than any girl he had dated. He realized then that maybe that's why you broke up with him, because you probably thought that he didn’t care to know more about you (when in actuality he was just too scared to ask because he might lose you if he did)
The phone starts to ring and as much as he wants to ignore it again, something tells him that he should answer this unknown contact.
“...Yo, this is Daiki.”
He blinks as he hears the deep voice of the basketball player, wasn’t this supposed to be his rival? How the hell did he even get his number?
“I heard Y/N pushed you away again like before, want to grab that drink?”
Atsumu doesn’t know why he agrees right after.
They ended up at a private japanese bar, apparently they had the best saki in the whole of japan and Daiki was willing to treat him despite the high price of alcohol because of what happened between you two, “You look like shit, man.” he points out as soon as he arrived, “No offense. Then again, that’s what I looked like when Y/N first rejected me.”
Atsumu sits across him at the booth and ignores the man’s statement about his looks, “Do you still like Y/N that way? Even after she rejected you a lot?” he asks, suddenly.
“After I realized how much she liked those kid’s father. I sorta gave up.” He laughed as if it was nothing,  “He was hard to match, Y/N was begging me not to go to him to punch him in the face, she was in tears that night.”
“He’s a lucky bastard.” Atsumu spat bitterly, pouring more sake on his cup, “I’m guessing you know this guy?”
“Of course I do.” Daiki began, “Only recently though, Y/N never told anyone who the dad was. I had to figure that shit out on my own.”
Atsumu stares at his drink for a moment and swirls it around, he wants to know but at the same time he doesn’t. What would he even do if he knew? Would he find him and punch the asshole in the face for doing that to you? He’s starting to get Daiki, whoever this guy was, he was impossibly hard to match.
“I want to be in her life.” Atsumu confessed, “I want to replace that bastard’s place.”
Daiki’s eyes crinkle in utter amusement, just how long was this cat and mouse game going to play? What would happen if he told this blonde guy? Would you talk to him after he told Atsumu why you left? Would Daiki even be able to handle you leaving him?
Daiki’s take a deep breath as he ponders on that thought. He was willing to risk it though. He sees the genuineness in this guy’s eyes. From a man to a man, he could sense it. God, if only he had been a bit more pushy towards you back then about the whole tell-your-boyfriend thing, maybe you’d have it a bit easier now.
“What’s stopping you?”
“Y/N.” The blonde shrugs, the mere mention of your name stinged like the alcohol he was drinking, “I can’t force her. I can’t repeat the same mistakes I made before. Relationships were never her strongest suit and I feel like I forced it on her.”
“You didn’t.” Daiki proclaims, the basketball player ponders for a moment in deep thought, “The thing about Y/N is that she’s careful with whom she wants to be intimate with. The reason why she probably said yes was because she saw something in you but in the end…” Daiki paused, he’s not sure what to say next, this was a sensitive issue after all, “In the end, her fear got the better of her…”
“Sometimes I wish I could take it all away.” The setter quietly confessed, recalling the fear in your eyes back then made him sick. 
In the two-year relationship you had, it had always been about him. He really had the audacity to proudly proclaim that he loved you yet it seemed more like you had loved him more.
It showed when you’d quietly just hold his hand and draw small circles on it after a loss, how you’d listen to his stories without interruptions, how you’d help him out in classes that he had a hard time at, how you’d prepare a hot meal for him every night he stayed up later to train, and how you’d silently just let him snuggle on your chest after a long day. It was those little things, things he realized later on that you’d never do to other people but he was a special case.
It was always about you taking care of him and putting him first.
It wasn’t openly affectionate like the girls he had before or after you, you had your own little way.
It was always about wanting to get a physical reaction from you, he was too blinded to the fact that it was never your type of thing. 
He was the taker in the relationship, you had always been the giver.
Daiki was silent once again as he observed his devastating figure, “You really love her, don’t you?”
“I do.”  he chuckled, “People tend to call me a fuck up for that but they don’t get it. When Y/N shows a little side of her, you...you can’t stop loving her, ya know? God, when she smiled and laughed at me for the first time. I knew at that moment that I wanted to hear that beautiful sound for the rest of my life.”
It felt good to get that out of his chest for once, ‘samu would call him a sappy piece of shit if he had heard that but it was the raw truth. Every word he said, every feeling he tried to express, it was all so genuine and that’s what made everything so painful.
God, the saki was getting to him. He can’t believe he told Daiki out of all people about this.
“You said you wanted to know who the father of those kids was, right?”
Atsumu stops whatever he’s drinking and feels his ears perk up at the sound of that. Daiki looks dead serious as he downs the saki straight-up, the next few words sobers the blonde setter because it’s not what he expects.
“Y/N told me the father was her first boyfriend, a boy from tokyo university.”
Atsumu feels his heart thumping fast as he makes his way to your apartment in the dead of the night, the alcohol long gone but the words of Daiki still stinging and fresh, a father? Was that why you ran away?
Because you were pregnant with his kids?
He curses underneath his breath as he finally parks his car in front of your apartment, he’s still shaken by the sudden revelation and he feels like kicking himself, how he could’ve been so stupid? He should’ve known something was odd when you suddenly disappeared and broke up on the phone.
While he was enjoying his life as a pro, you were out there fending for the kids alone.
He shakes his head.
“...I can’t tell you why Y/N ran away, it’s better if you heard the story from her.” Daiki’s words echo in his head, “I know she placed a lot on your plate these past six years but she has her reasons, I’m not saying that you should forgive her immediately. I’m just asking you to listen.”
Atsumu gets out of his car and takes out his phone, calling the number he got from Daiki. You had never exchanged numbers even after all that had happened. Now that he noticed, you were keen on distancing yourself from him. Ever since the beginning, you were so adamant to push him out of your life in the same cold way like before. 
How could he not have noticed?
He curses himself in his head, for all the times he had to be slow, why now?
“Hello?” Your voice is groggy, signaling that you were asleep, “May I know who's on the line?”
“I’m downstairs.” he blurted out, not knowing what to say, he knows you recognize his voice, “Can we talk Y/N?”
“Miya-san? What are you?- It’s almost twelve-”
“One last time, Y/N.” He pleads, voice soft as he says your name, “Please?”
You hang up soon after, he doesn’t care if he has to stake out here in his car for the whole night and wait for you to come down in the morning. Right now, all that matters is you.
Only you.
Thankfully, he doesn’t need to do that since he sees you going out of your apartment a few moments later in a large black coat with mismatched socks, if it weren’t for the gravity of the situation, he would’ve teased you for your unusual get-up.
“I thought I told you that I didn’t want to have anything to do with you anymore.” in contrast to your soft tone, your words are harsh and if it were the old him, he’d have back down but he knows something now. 
He takes in a deep breath and lets out a drawling sigh as he removes his scarf, “It’s cold tonight.” He observes, ignoring the harsh words you said as he inches closer to you to wrap his scarf around your neck.
“You smell like alcohol.” 
“Aomine-san and I went out for a drink.” He recounts, tying the scarf on your neck. He sucks in a deep breath before he says the following words, “You know Y/N, you never told me his name.”
“Excuse me?” You're confused by the sudden words as you try to remove the scarf but he stops you and grabs a hold of your hands instead, clasping his fingers on yours like the old times. He loved the warmth you radiated. It always felt nice.
“The name of that bastard who left you.” He stated. He’s so close to you to the point that you could smell the saki and perfume on him, hear his ragged breathing, and hear the thumping of his heart. You try to remove yourself from his grasp but you’re trapped in his stare and tight hold, “What’s his name, Y/N?”
“I told you, it’s none-”
“Just a name, Y/N.”
Silence ensued between you two and you nervously gulp down.
So it really was him.
This was now or never.
“Just for one moment, can you stop running away from me?” he begs, as he inched closer to hug you and place his head on your shoulder, “Just stop running, Y/N. You don’t have to tell me what happened and why you ran away back then, just let me love you now and be a father to those kids.”
It's silent for a moment and he feels fear engulf him again, his confidence slowly vanishing. Were you going to push him away again? 
Yet he feels you starting to tremble on his hold and something wet on his shoulders, he suddenly stands up straight to find you crying on his shoulder, “You’re so fucking stupid, did you know that?” you suddenly cried, “I literally broke up with you on the fucking phone, ran away from you-”
“Yet you never forgot me and raised those kids very well on your own.” He hummed, cutting you off as he rested his head on top of yours, still hugging you tightly. Yes, this was right, the warmth that he wanted was right here, he was finally at ease.His anxiety was slowly dwindling, “God, I should’ve tried harder to not make you feel that way before.”
“I-It’s my fault.” You stammered, “I kept doubting you and kept running from you.” 
“You must’ve been scared, sweetheart.” He murmured, cutting you off as he ignores you recounting your past ‘mistakes’ --- he wouldn’t call it mistakes though, they were the seeds of doubt that he planted on you, so he was technically at fault there, he should’ve tried harder to not make you feel that way. He should’ve been more observant ---- He buries himself on your scent and draws small circles on your back to soothe your shaking figure. You’d do this to him a lot before, it was his turn now to return all the comfort and support you gave him. 
Atsumu slowly lets go and sees you’re a mess in front of him from the red rims under your eyes to the wet cheeks to your non-stop shaking figure.
‘...You always had trouble expressing yourself naturally to people after all.’
No, it seemed like you had turned it off towards other people except your kids. Atsumu noted how strong you were towards your kids, how you tried hard to build a home for them and be the most genuine mother you could be, it breaks his heart that he wasn’t there to help and support you.
He slowly brings his hands up and softly cups your cheeks to wipe the stray tears, “I know that I can’t take all your problems and baggage away for a night but I’ll be here, Y/N. I’ll be here even if you’re annoyed, I’ll be here even if you throw me out because of the confusion you have with your feelings. I’ll stay. Permanently, no take-backs.”
You shakily lift your hands to grab a hold of his rough hands and squeeze it to make sure this is all real, that this wasn’t a dream.
“You’re an idiot.” You sniffle, taking in his warmth and basking on it, “I really told you to be selfish, for once. Why can’t you do that?”
“That’s ironic coming from you.” he mused, “You were always the giver in our relationship in your own way, you raised our kids in the best way possible. I could think of a million ways that you were the giver in our relationship and I was more of the receiver.” Atsumu chuckles at the irony as he slowly runs his fingers through your hair. He feels better now that everything is out of the way, that he can finally hold you with no restrictions. The little family with you that was supposed to be a fleeting moment, was now slowly becoming a reality.
“In the end, all that matters is that I love you. It’s never changed for the past six years, Y/N. I doubt it’ll change in the long run.” he confessed, leaning in to give you a brief kiss on the temple. You feel yourself start to calm down as you rested on his chest and listen to his heart beat.
You missed that sound, the sound of home.
Tumblr media
It takes a while for you to actually settle down and sit with your kids, Atsumu reminds you that you could take your time in the introductions, even volunteering that he could help you with it but you decided against it in the end. This was your responsibility. You still had to make up for the past six years of heartbreak you gave to the poor man and your kids.
Atsumu doesn’t shy away though, he comes by after his morning training during your lunch break to have lunch with you and even volunteers to pick up the kids after class before his nightly training.
Slow pace and baby steps as he’d like to call it.
“Jiji’s acting weird.” Yuuto frowns as he picks on his fish with his chopsticks, “He’s been hanging around us too much, kaasan.”
“Yeah!” Youta echoes, “Is he going to be like Daiki-ojisan? Is he going to be our ojisan?”
You place your chopsticks down and stare at the pair in front of you. It would be hard to explain to the pair about Atsumu and his relationship with them, you almost wanted to call the man himself to help you explain but you decided against it.
This was now or never.
“Can kaasan tell you something?” You softly ask, placing your chopsticks down, the steamed fish long forgotten.
“What is it, kaasan?” Youta asks innocently, tilting his head just a bit, “Did jiji do something again? Should me and yu do something about it?”
“No,” you shake your head, “It’s...It’s about your otosan…”
Silence enveloped the table, the boys never talked about their father in front of you because they noticed how sad you’d be by the mere mention of their father yet that didn’t stop them from asking around your close circle of friends like Atsumu and Daiki. Did you find out about their interest? Were they going to be scolded?
“I...I want to introduce him to you…” You slowly began, “he...he’s come home…”
Youta and Yuuto’s eyes widen immediately, “He? He has?” Yuuto suddenly exclaimed, standing up from his chair. You could detect the excitement in his eyes, “What does he look like, kaasan? Does he have the same hair as us? Does he look like us? Did- did he get all his dreams?”
“Is he a doctor, kaasan? Or does he play sports like Daiki-ojisan and jiji?” Youta adds, wondering out loud, “Weird. We’re not that famous yet, kaasan. Is he going to be proud of us?”
You feel your heart thump and your eyes water at the question as you swallow the lump on your throat, “He’s, he’s very proud of you.” you try to blink away the tears, “In fact, your otosan was very scared because you might hate him.”
“Is that why he wasn’t able to come home?” Yuuto asks quietly, he had always been smart for his age.
You were silent for a moment and you take in a very deep breath, when they were old enough you’d tell them all about what happened, in the meantime, you’d tell them a simple explanation, “No, it was kaasan’s fault...Your otosan wasn’t able to come home because of kaasan…”
“Will...will you tell us why, kaasan?” Youta questions, you could tell that he was scared to ask that question.
“Because kaasan was scared…” You paused, trying to find the right words to explain to them, “Kaasan had you when me and your otosan was still quite young so kaasan ran away…”
“Did o-otosan not want us then?” Yuuto quivers, his lifted spirits now down, you could tell that he was trying to hold it in. You immediately had to stand up and rush to their side to comfort them, “Of course not!” You exclaimed, taking their hands and bending to their level, “It’s just, kaasan had very bad things happening around her that she had to run away.”
“Are...are the bad things gone now then, kaasan?” 
You turn to Youta whose eyes were soft and spirits down too, he seemed to have grasped the situation yet at the same time, he couldn’t get it. Maybe it was a big kids type of thing? Would he understand this all when he was older?
“Almost…” You quietly replied, you knew you still had a lot of things to fix within yourself like Atsumu had said, it’s not something you can ever get rid of but it’s never bad to take a helping hand once in a while, “Your otosan is helping me and you guys are helping me too, so they’re slowly disappearing…”
“When...when will we meet him? Our otosan?”
You’re silent for a second and you nervously tell them to wait a moment as you go to your room to take out a Polaroid, one with you and Atsumu in it. It’s an old one, taken on your last anniversary. It’s one of those memorabilia's you kept of him that you could never throw away.
You come back to the table and sit across them as you place the picture in front of them, “You’ve met him already…”
Youta’s eyes widen, “Isn’t this…”
“Jiji?” Yuuto finishes, jaw slacken.
You couldn’t tell if they were happy or disappointed at all. Their faces were bare stripped of emotion, the only thing you detected was shock.
“It was never your otosan’s fault, I…” You shakily sighed, holding in the tears, “It was mine, I’m so sorry…I’m so so sorry…”
At that moment, you really didn’t know how you should face them or how you should explain it to them, you were so caught up in your fears and anxiety that you didn’t notice how soft their features became, “Will you tell us?” Youta asks.
You look them both in the eye.
“Will you tell us why where we’re older, kaasan?” Yuuto adds.
Your shaking ceased when you heard those words.
Ah yes, they were their father’s kids. Always so patient, always there to listen to you. How were you blessed with such good kids? You broke down a smile reserved just for them.
“Yes, when you’re ready and older.” You affirmed, bowing down in apology, “I hope you’ll be patient with me then.”
taglist [officially closed, if you guys want to be removed for the side stories, feel free to tell me hehe ilyasm]
@fortheloveofiwaizumi ;  @svtbitch  ; @kiyoomile ; @lovedanii ; @juno-multifandom ; @gyubit17 ; @saeranoppa ; @nixxona ; @kyomihann @shorttstackk ; @intoomuchfandoms ; @yammmers ; @mx-minxx @itsmattsunshinehere ; @missingmystogan ; @volleybloop ; @imcravingyou ; @yams-wants-that-booty ; @liathachcapricious ; @pinknugget @seikamuzu ; @marigoldthoughts ; @sillykittt ; @baejinoffcl ; @alluring-akaashi ; @bnhasstuff  ; @intheawks ; @bokuakadaily ; @agaassi ; @yams046  ; @dope-squish ; @chrisrue15 ; @vermillionwaves ; @demursv1ogs ; @just-snog-already ; @angmarwitch ; @angmarwitch ; @simpingonothers ; @woo-youngs ; @cowward ; @chaelysian ; @sempiternal-amour ; @jungshookmeup ; @jovialnoise ; @karlitabi-rrito ; @iwaizluv ; @sugarandsoft ; @tspice283 ; @ohshirabu ; @syzygymai​ ; @volleybloop ; @oikaw-ugh ; @pockytokyo ;  @differentballooncollection​​ ;  @keniloveshaikyuu​​ ; @turquoiselace ; @playboygeniusphilanthropist​ ;  
@misosamu  @Etherynaw  @ryaaaax  @allysasteaparty   @mikaashi   @brownie0food   @keijislut  @ph10xy  @Chocolaterumble [hi, i can’t seem to tag u guys, i think you need to open your tags uwu]
730 notes · View notes
physicalturian · 3 years
Text
[18+] Words of pleasure - Law x F!Reader - Part 10 (Last)
[No spoilers] [Modern AU - College AU] [She/her pronouns used for the reader, no physical description; Everyone +18] Words : 8634 Archive of our own
Warning : Power play / Dom/sub Dynamics / Control / Oral / Discipline / Voyeurism / Brat / Shibari / Impact play / Tears (from dick uh) / Protected sex / Aftercare / Edging / Pet names The voyeurism part is only for part of it. For those who do not know what 'voyeurism' is, it means someone is watching - It's done with everyone's consent.; The tears are purely deep dick in throat; Don’t forget there are oral protections for when you give head to someone, or receive it tbh, to avoid STD’s.
If you feel like I should add more warnings, send me a dm or and ask
– Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9
There stood Rosinante. And clearly, Law was not expecting him to come by. I hurriedly covered myself, but it was too late, and the blond man seemed to have enjoyed the sight as he looked at my hands gripping the lapel tight before looking at me with a grin. “I see you’ve got company Traffy,”
“I’m guessing the date went well-“ “I asked you a question Cora, what do you want?” I felt the tension between the two men, clearly Law was annoyed by the interruption which was not the most welcomed right now. I was about to sneak out of sight when I saw the delivery girl in the back, she looked at the device in her hand, confused. I nudged Law’s side to get his attention and he told Rosinante to get out of the way so he could get the takeout.
 When he did, I walked past him and exchanged the money Law had handed me, for the bag of food in her hand. I saw her glimpse at my chest and quickly bid her goodbye before shuffling back inside and putting everything back on the table. When I joined the black-haired man’s side, he told me to go on and start eating without him, he had to talk with the blond. I half-heartedly accepted and went back to the dining room where I unpacked everything. While I did so, I paid attention to what was being said in the corridor.
 “-It wouldn’t be the first time, I don’t see why you don’t want to Law,” I heard the blond almost whine.
“Did you really think that coming all the way here would make me accept the offer? This is different than the other times,” Law replied, his tone stern and still laced with annoyance. I made sure to not seem like I was listening as I started eating.
“I’m just saying, if that’s what she’s into, I’m the man for the job-“ “I didn’t ask, and we’re taking things slow,” Law’s answer made Rosinante laugh, it quickly turned into a gasp as I heard a thud before their conversation resumed.
 “That’s not what the rope around her breasts says,” I turned around to look at them in shock, and quickly turned back to face my food when both of them looked my way. Fuck, be discrete, you haven’t heard anything.
 Law sighed and I heard the door lock, it was followed by shoes hitting the parquet. “I’m not taking a decision without her, first we eat, then we talk,”
“It’s alright I’ve already eaten,” I heard Rosinante’s deep voice getting closer, and Law’s reply even more, “I didn’t ask, there is none for you, sit down and don’t talk,”
 From the interactions between the two, I felt like there was bad blood between the two of them which clashed with the man now sitting right next to Law in front of me. Law was sitting at the end of the table, Rosinante on his right and me on his left. I wrapped the bathrobe tighter around me, throwing a glance at Law and fidgeted on my seat. Was it his way of playing with my appreciation of ‘giving a show’ as he put it? “Don’t mind him, eat,”
 “It’s kind of hard not to, he’s staring right at me and he’s pretty big,” Facing the blond, I quirked a brow, going back to be in control. “Why are you here? Do you need something? We were a bit busy until you arrived, and while I respect that you’re his colleague, I think he’s not on shift right now.” I stated with as much professionalism as I could. I was not going to speak in Law’s stead, but I was frustrated by the interruption, if it had just been the delivery girl, we could have gone back to our little game once the door was closed. But here, I felt myself run cold… And burning at the same time, I was very aware of the restrictions around my form, after all, how could I not?
 I felt Law’s hand on my thigh after my question and had to muster all my strength not to move in startlement. I hope the blond hadn’t seen my reaction, after all I knew he had caught a glimpse of the rope work under my robe, but he did not show any sign of awkwardness. “It’s not work related, don’t you worry, actually it’s more of a leisurely visit,” The blond rolled up his sleeves and leaned back on his chair, almost tumbling back before grabbing the edge of the table and catching himself. Ignoring his almost-accident, I kept eating and did not ask any more question. I exchanged a few glances with Law when his hand traveled higher on my thigh.
 I didn’t know what games he was playing, and I didn’t know why he was being so daring when his colleague was there… but I liked it. To make him understand I was on board, I spread my legs wider and as I made it so it looked like I was seating back properly, I moved his hand even higher.
 I heard a huff coming from him as he continued eating. While his eyes were on his plate, his nails dug themselves inside my skin ever so lightly before going up and down my thigh. My attention being solely on his touch under the table, I almost forgot the man right in front of us who was silent up until now, “You know, Law, I understand you telling me to wait until you’re done eating and all that, but you can’t say that and then start the fun right under my nose,”
 Confused, and thinking he knew, I grabbed Law’s hand from going any higher, but he deftly moved my hand from his and held my thigh tightly. He was rubbing my inner thigh, letting his hand graze my crotch many times without even reacting. I had to put everything down when I was getting too excited to finish my plate, thinking I’d finish the rest after the eventful night I was promised those past few nights by HandSurgeon. “Then ask her, see how it goes,” Law almost spat, giving Rosinante a glare that I wouldn’t have wanted to be the receiving end of.
 ‘Cora’ however was unbothered, his grin only widening as he leaned further on the table. I felt a foot bump against mine under the able but did not say anything. “See, with Law here, we sometimes have interesting nights-“ “It was two times, Cora,”
“Actually, it was three, don’t you remember the one a few months ago who really wanted-“ Law interrupted him by standing up and taking our two plates from the table, leaving me exposed as I quickly covered my thigh with the robe.
 Looking at me with a smug smile, the blond whispered, “It’s actually three times like this, but we sometimes do other things- not like we fuck, but-“ Surprised by his words, I did not let it show on my face and made a gesture with my hand to tell him to go on, “Just, stop beating around the bush, I really don’t care what he, or you, used to do,” I shrugged, still curious about what they used to do. I was not going to be nosy and ask but part of me hoped he wouldn’t keep doing whatever they used to do when we’ll really be together… Unless we’ve talked about it.
 “Right, I feel like you kinda like showing off, am I wrong?” I couldn’t blame him for going straight to the point as I asked, but his question caught me off guard and I threw a glance at Law who was coming back from the kitchen with a neutral expression on his face.
 Looking at Law, embarrassed, I said, “Did you tell him about-“ “I didn’t tell him anything, I’d live better if he did not meddle with my shit, believe me,” Law replied before I could finish my sentence. I looked back at the blond and shrugged, “I don’t really know why it’s relevant,” I started, my face heating up. What was one supposed to do in this situation? I was not about to tell that stranger what turned me on, even though he seemed to have pinpointed the right thing. Denying sounded like a nice option though.
 “You’re not making it easier on me,” The blond glanced at Law, asking him to help out without words. He had seemed cocky enough to preach what he did many times with Law but was starting to get cold feet. Law quirked a brow and asked me to get up, which I did with him, my eyes still riveted on Rosinante. I was then brought to the bedroom, feeling Rosinante’s intense gaze following us. Once we were inside the room, Law left the door open and approached me.
 “The offer is simple, do you want to hear it?” He pulled me closer, sliding his hands inside the bathrobe to rest them on my hips, his thumbs brushing over the skin oh so delicately. “Go ahead, I’m really curious of what you might offer that won’t be ruined by your great colleague-“ “The attitude stays outside the bedroom, let’s start again. Do you want to hear the offer?” He breathed right next to my ear more sternly, his grip on my hips was tighter.
 I held his forearm and held back a huff, mumbled, “Yes sir” I don’t believe I had said it in front of him, ever, since we learnt about one another. And it felt ten times worse than saying it to a stranger online, this time I could see the smirk on his face when he looked at me with a certain pride, my body was burning up from simply folding, submitting, over nothing. And I was enjoying it.
 “He likes to watch, you like to be looked at, you like being the center of attention,” he explained slowly. His hands were now gripping the lapel of the bathrobe, I held his hands to stop them from removing the item just yet. “I don’t know… it seemed like you didn’t want to do any of this, earlier. You seemed angry at him, maybe we shouldn’t have him here,” I said softly, earning an earnest smile from the man in front of me as he cradled my face in his hands.
 “Because he is wasting my time while I could be having you on your knees, your mouth eager to do your best to please me…” My eyes widened, his action was tender, but his words were salacious, and yet it mixed so well together. “Or maybe tonight could be all about you, I believe I promised I’d tie you up to the bedpost, or maybe we could work on more discipline, I remember you enjoyed it greatly,” He paused and gauged my reactions. I was breathing more heavily than moments ago, recalling his promises.
 The more he talked, the more I felt this need to prove I could take whatever he gave me. I wanted him to praise me like he did so many times before, I wanted him to be able to flaunt me, and what better way to do so than to give him a show, to him and his friend. “He doesn’t join, he just watches, right?” I asked in a low tone, my eyes darting at the blond who was watching us from the dining table. He had his elbow resting on the table, his head leaning on his fist while smiling lazily. “That’s the plan, it’s purely sexual,” Law forced me to look at him, his fingers on my chin, “Just because he’s there doesn’t mean I won’t be taking care of you, it’s sexual for him, but it’s something different for us, understood?”
 “I just ignore him, then?”
“No, no, you better be fully aware of him, know you’re being watched…” He slowly helped me shrug off the bathrobe, placing himself in front of me to block the sight to Rosinante. “And I’d expect my girl to give us a show I know she’s capable of, so do you agree?” This was exciting, I never expected to be part of something like this. And with or without the blond man in the other room, I would have still felt over the moon knowing what Law was about to do to me. “Yes, do we still use the colours? In case I want to stop, for any specific reason- not that I think I will use it, I trust you-“
 “Colours, yes. But remember that even if you trust me, you can stop everything. The moment it’s too much, not that I aim for it to be, you tell me. Are we clear?” There was real worry in his eyes, and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes playfully but nodded. Wanting to get started, I looked at him with a widening smile and let my hand wander to the knot of his sweatpants.
“I do remember our conversations you know, no need to repeat yourself,” I started, “And you haven’t fucked my brains out enough for me to forget it, just yet. Maybe it was an empty promise,” I was stopped dead in my tracks by his hand gripping mine.
 “Then you remember I said to be patient, and to leave the attitude out of the bedroom,” He said in faux-politeness as he pulled me closer, his hand let go of mine to pull at the leash-like rope around my neck. I huffed a chuckle and looked at him, satisfied.
“The door’s open, it came back rushing in,” I breathed out, talking about the attitude I supposedly left outside the room.
 Law watched me a moment before humming, a dark smile on his lips, “You want to play it like that, let’s,” he stepped away from me and I felt a shiver run down my spine, I wanted to get things heated because it had started quieting down, but now I had a price to pay. I had barely done anything, but Law jumped on the occasion to take the attitude down a notch. He grinned mischievously and told me to follow him as he sat at the edge of the bed and told me to kneel in front of him.
 “Are you serious-“ “Color?”
I huffed, “Green.”
“Then I’m deadly serious, on your knees.” His tone was stern, but his face showed something else. His half-lidded eyes watched me make way towards him and stop right in front of him. I threw a quick glance at the blond through the doorway and saw him with the seat fully facing the room and his hands on his lap for now. He gestured for me to go on. My eyes widened at that, does he expect me to listen to him? I looked back at Law and instead of kneeling in front of him, I placed my hands on his shoulders and moved one of my leg over his to straddle him.
 He gripped the back of my legs tight to get me off of him, “Are you acting out on purpose, to give Cora a show? Is this what’s going on?” He asked, while standing up, power dripping off his voice. I wanted to tell him no, but I think I did. It felt weird to submit in front of someone other than Law, and I wanted to put it off as long as I could. I looked to the side once more, this time Law gripped my chin forcefully to make me look at him, “Is my girl getting shy?” He asked as he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, his lips grazing my lobe. “I’ll say it only once: when I ask you a question, you answer, go,” He slid his hand to the back of my neck and made me look at him.
 “I’m not shy, I’m just not used to this- and you surprised me with asking me to get on my knees,” I whispered back, noticing the grin that spread on his face.
“Don’t play the innocent act, I recall you were very eager to suck your toy off when it was just you and me, correct?” He breathed against my neck as his fingers slipped over the rope to grab my ass and bring my leg over his, still standing up. His other hand grazed over my ass, then I felt his fingers brush between my legs and gasped. I gripped his hand before trying to have his fingers touch my clit, but it had the opposite effect.
 Grunting, he slapped my hand off his and held me in place, “Look at you, grinding against my fingers already. Don’t tell me you’re that desperate yet?”
“I’m not, you’re talking more than you’re doing, right now,” I regretted it instantly when a scowl formed on his forehead, quickly turning into an expression that said he accepted the challenge.
 “That needy look of yours says something else. Here, I’ll help you out, but first,” He stepped away from me and sat on the bed, his legs open wide, “First we’ll put you back in your place. I have the perfect gag for that pretty mouth of yours,”
 I was about to kneel when I noticed he was still fully dressed, when I reached for his shirt, he gripped my wrists tight. “That’s one too many, if you’re in a bratty mood then all I’ll have to do is discipline you, don’t you agree?” I agree, whispering a ‘yes sir’ which made him laugh as he told me to get on my knees, hands behind my back. He then stood up and went to the drawer behind me. I did as he told me, knowing I had crossed the limit but couldn’t help but feel excited.
 “We’re going to test that patience of yours, look at me,” When I did, a smirk pulled the corner of his lips. I followed his form until he was sitting in front of me, I could see the bulge in his pants that at this point demanded to be freed, when I glanced at it, Law’s smirk only widened. “Let me tell you how good you look on your knees like that,” He praised as he leaned back only slightly on one of his hand as the other held what I believe was a riding crop. The latter placed itself under my chin to raise it up, “Here’s what’s going to happen: you use that mouth for something good, no touching, if I see you trying to move your hands….” He trailed off and looked at the riding crop.
 “Then I strike you.”
 He paused, gauging my reaction. And from the way my breath hitched in my throat, he had guessed I would enjoy it. “If you want to stop, you make a peace sign with your hand behind your back, understood?” I nodded, and he told me to do one right now to make sure I understood. Once I did, he smiled genuinely and pulled out his cock from his sweatpants. It was now fully erected and while I had seen it through different pictures, I wanted it more now. He stroked his cock lazily a few times, then beckoned me to come closer, “Open your mouth,” he slid it in slowly, praising me as he did so, “There we go, good girl,”
 Instinctively, I was about to move my hands to grab the base of his cock but was struck before I could do so. I moaned at the stinging pain, breathing through my nose before starting to bob my head the best I could without the balance of my hand. I started licking him slowly, making sure to let my tongue press the tip of his cock more than the rest, suckling on the tip from time to time. I relished in the groans it elated from him. His free hand slid to the base of my neck, maybe he was unsure of how I’d react if he did more.
 Dragging my lips back and forth on his length, making sure to use my tongue around it, I twirled my tongue around his tip, looking him dead in the eyes. “Grab my hair, are you the one feeling shy now, doc?” I licked my lips when he grabbed a fistful of hair and pulled my head back to have me look at him from a different angle. I gasped at the pain, my mouth open yet smiling, so was he. He was smiling smugly as he looked down at me, enjoying the sight a lot more than he was showing it. I moved a bit to use my heel to get some friction and was struck down to stop.
 Chuckling breathlessly, I quirked a brow, it only unnerved him more, “You’re being a lot more disobedient when we have company, I can’t have him think you’re untamed now, can I?” He breathed against my lips, I closed my eyes, expecting a kiss from him but was met with a leathery texture. Opening my eyes, I realized Law was brushing the riding crop over my lips, I opened my mouth once more, he did not wait to brush it over my tongue. Giving it a little tap, startling me before bringing his hand that was holding it, over my shoulder.
 “So desperate for it, so eager… But so, fucking, insubordinate- if you want it so bad you better start taking it,” He breathed, “And it’s: yes sir, not doc,” Without further warning, he shoved my head over his cock, and I moaned around it when I felt it hit the back of my throat. It made him laugh breathlessly, groaning at the same time as he kept guiding my head onto his cock. When I hollowed my cheeks around it, a sigh escaped his lips and he paused for a moment, leaning in. Before he could speak, I uttered, “Did I say you could stop?”
 His brows raised and all playfulness was gone from his eyes, mine widened and I felt a shiver run down my spine. Fuck, I shouldn’t have done that, I thought as I straightened my back, about to move my hands to hold his thighs, I was struck down before I could do anything. The moan that escaped my lips was more embarrassing than anything, I could feel a rush of heat coursing through my body. He let go of my hair and instead gripped my jaw tightly, “I can’t praise you when you’re being anything but good,” He said sternly,
 “From what I’m seeing, you want it rough, and I’m ready to give it...” He trailed off, his eyes traveling over my form while his finger brushed over my drooling lips, “Unless you make it up to me, and stop fighting me,” I averted my eyes, thinking, but quickly looked back at Law when he tutted me, saying “Eyes over here,”
 “Keep that little game up and I promise, I’ll have you tied up in the middle of the bed with a toy inside you and no fucking relief,” He said loud enough for Rosinante to hear it, I tried to glance at him but had Law’s leg in the way and huffed, “Or you give up the reins, and let me lead the dance,” He continued, his finger pulling my lip down before opening my mouth, his thumb on my teeth. I licked it without answering, hands still behind my back.
 “So, what do you say, are you going to be good now?” I nodded. He struck me down, I gasped in pleasure feeling the new spot on my back sting more than the other times, “What did I say? Words.”
With his finger still in my mouth, I articulated the best I could, “I’ll be good, sir. I’m sorry-“ “You will be, let’s have you apologize properly hm? Open wide,” Once again, I took him in, I did not waste time to try and take him deeper than I had before, making him moan out of breath as his hand settled under my chin on my throat. He wasn’t gripping it tightly; If anything, I believe he was feeling the bulge of his cock in my throat and getting off on knowing he did that.
 I saw his composure slip as he leaned back and started bucking his hips in my mouth, “That’s it, take it- all- like a good- little- pet-“ Each words were emphasized by a thrust, I tried to meet them all and could feel tears streaming down my face at the effort it took fort me not to gag. Sounds of our heavy breathings and moans, mixed with groans of pleasure, echoed on the walls until he pulled out. He had stopped himself before reaching climax and was still very hard, I licked his cock clean before wiping my mouth and chin on his pants.
 With a lazy smile, he leaned in and grabbed the rope to pull me closer, his lips ghosting over mine, “Are you going to behave, now?”
Raised on my knees, I tried to meet his lips, but he struck me without thinking twice about it, “A question, an answer, is it so hard?” I shook my head, gulping and replied in a sore voice, “I’ll behave, sir.” He then whispered, “Good girl,” before bringing me into a kiss, tender at first but it quickly turned more hungry, more needy. I wanted to bring him closer, taking his face in my hands to feel him but focused on keeping my hands behind my back.
 He must have sensed my struggle since he broke the kiss to look at me intently, “While you do look good on your knees…” He let go of the rope and stood up, making sure to take the riding crop with him. I tensed when I felt it touch my back, knowing how raw my skin was, and how it still felt like it was burning. Yet, I wanted to lean in, and I was ready to beg for more. But instead, I looked straight ahead, and waited. “When I say good, I mean, exquisite…” I moved my hands to my lap, thinking it’d be better for him.
 I was wrong. “I didn’t say you could do that,” Another hit, this time at the juncture of my shoulder blade and my neck, another breathless moan, another quick move as I brought my hands back in my back. I was startled once more when I felt his presence over me, his lips brushing over my ear, “I knew you’d make the most sinful sounds,” His teeth grazed the shell of my ear, biting it just enough to feel them.
 “But I think seeing the tears rolling down your face,” he started, gripping my chin tightly to make me look up at him, my jaw clenched, “… and your pretty mouth fucked out, unable to talk back, that’s how I want it,” He continued, his eyes riveted on the drying tears on my cheeks as his thumb brushed over them. He then leaned over and placed a kiss on my forehead, “You did good. Now, let’s get my girl in a more comfortable position, what do you say?” I didn’t move but whispered back in agreement. It made him laugh as he let go of my face and told me that I could move.
 I had to hold onto his arm when I stood up and wobbled. Having stayed on my knees too long made my articulations hurt but it felt good to finally be standing, it did not last long when Law had me lay down on my back after making sure I was alright. “I’m alright, in fact I could have taken it a bit longer, if you want to know,” I told him teasingly, talking about his thrusts in my throat. He stopped mid-way, a knee on the bed, still wearing his pants. “Your sore voice says otherwise,” he replied in a tone just as light, he gave me a once over before leaning to the side and getting an unopened bottle of water from the side of the bed.
 “If you’re still that eager, we better take care of you before any more fun, mh?” Opening it, he told me to drink some more before continuing, I reached out for the bottle and saw that my hands were slightly shaking. I thought it wasn’t noticeable until Law scooted closer and was ready to help me drink. I simply took the bottle from his hand, brought a pillow to cover my front and took large gulps, maybe letting some spill down my chin and over my throat.
 Law watched me carefully, an interested smile on his face, “It’s funny how you’re trying to act decent by covering yourself, and yet, intentionally bring my attention to you,” He took the bottle from my hand and put it on the nightstand before pushing me down and throwing the pillow away. His lips latched onto my throat as he licked the trickling drop away, starting from the bottom to finally reach my chin where he kissed my lips softly. “Let’s ruin that made-up sense of decency and make it as debauched as we can,”
 Kissing him back, I chuckled at how promising it sounded and suggested enthusiastically, “Then let’s start by taking those pants off,” When I slithered my hands to the string of his pants, he quickly pinned them over my head making me yelp in surprise, and excitement once more. I wrapped my hands the best I could around his, or at least touched the back of his hand with the tip of my fingers, “Let’s make something clear, because you seem to forget I’m the one who’s leading this dance,” He started, his free hand hovering right above my breast as he very delicately ghosted his finger over my nipple, making me gasp when I felt the wetness from his skin.
 I looked at him more carefully and saw him dip his finger inside the water bottle to just have me even more sensitive as he brushed it against my skin. All the while playing with my nipples, he spoke, “That mouth of yours is allowed to do four things. One, answer when I ask a question, two, beg, three, moan, four, scream my fucking name. Is that understood?” Although he asked it in a stern tone, making sure I was going to obey and not act out, I couldn’t help the smile on my face as I nodded, “Yes, sir,” I was thoroughly enjoying the sight of him with his lips, mere breaths away from my nipple.
 Looking at him expectantly, I bit the inside of my lips as he approached closer and closer, his breath cooling the wetness on my skin. I let out a satisfied sigh when I felt his warm tongue balancing the coldness of my hardened nipple. Thinking he was solely focused on my breasts; I was surprised when I felt his hand slowly travel down my stomach and to my thighs. He paused there and drummed his fingers there a moment before starting to draw little patterns with the tip of his fingers. I wasn’t getting anything. His tongue was working on my breasts, but that was it. I wanted more, I needed more.
So, I threw a glance at the door, but I couldn’t see anything from this angle. Casting my pride aside, I mumbled Law’s name, followed by, “Please…” He stopped everything, and quirked a brow, a smug smile on his lips, “I didn’t quite catch that, pet. A bit louder, go ahead,” His tongue resumed its work on my nipples, this time his hands joining. I was trying to arch my back to feel him more, my breathing getting only heavier, it made it impossible to not feel the ropes around my form. “I’m not hearing anything, maybe I should stop-“ “Please, sir… Please, more, everything,”
 “Good girl,” He breathed against my lips before pressing his against mine very slowly, his tongue prying my mouth open as he deepened the kiss. It heated up quickly, I threaded my hands through his hair to pull him closer only to have him laugh breathlessly as he broke the kiss. “Show me how bad you want it,” He sat back on the bed, still between my legs and wrapped my legs around his hips, he started kissing my inner thigh softly as he spoke, “I’ll be right there, and you will be touching yourself for me,”
 Sitting up, I quickly moved my hands behind my back to show him I wasn’t doing anything with them, and saw the grin displayed on his lips. I continued, “Law- really? No, please, I don’t want to wait any longer, please?” Pulling me closer by my thighs, I gasped and almost lost balance but gripped his forearms tightly. “You’ll wait, because I told you to. You want to be good, don’t you?” A shiver ran down my spine, I looked off to the side but didn’t reply. He continued, “You think I forgot, all that we talked about those past few nights?” He whispered against my ear.
 “How desperate you were for me to guide you, obeying each of my command…” He left a kiss behind my ear, trailing to the side of my neck, the hair on my body rose, I was thrilled. I felt his hand travel up my body, to one of my arms, down to my hand were the held me a moment, “And how little time it took for you to show off,” He brought my hand between our body, I reached for his pants but he tutted me, “to spread those legs,” He spread his, spreading mine in the process, “and to touch yourself to the sound of my voice?” I wasn’t looking at him, instead my eyes were focused on his body, on how his hand felt around mine.
 “Not with your friend here, please,” I whispered hesitantly. It felt more intimate like this, to touch yourself in front of someone, than being literally fucked in front of someone, I was afraid Law would find it annoying but instead he chuckled. “He left a moment ago, when I brought you on the bed, I told him to leave,” He explained. I rose to my knees to look behind Law’s back and indeed saw that no one was on the chair, I felt more comfortable to do as Law suggested, but wanted to hear more of him. When I sat back, my legs still around his hips, he looked at me with a look of almost-hunger.
 I chuckled nervously, never leaving his gaze. With a smug smile, his free hand caressed my throat slowly. “That doesn’t mean we’re done, I believe I was reminding you of how obedient you were before and how much you misbehaved tonight, mh?” “I’m good now, I promise,” I said clearly, not wanting to let it transpire that I kind of enjoyed how he handled the attitude.
“Then, show me how good you are, pet,” He guided my hand between my legs, and pressed my fingers with his, right behind my hand. “I’m sure you know what to do from there,” I nodded, and did exactly as he wanted, to help I rested my forehead on his shoulder and closed my eyes to focus more but was quickly stopped.
 “That won’t do, show me your pretty face,” When I did, he smiled and pressed his lips on my throat, “That’s it, a lot better, good girl,” I let out a shaky breath upon hearing the words, and had to hold myself back from leaning back on his shoulder. It became harder when his tongue trailed down my neck, leaving hickeys all over it, but he was still talking between as he busied himself,
 Isn’t it easier like that? To do exactly as I tell you. I find it easier to praise my girl when she is acting like the good girl, I know she is. Not when she’s bratting out. Needy for my cock. Eager to get fucked. Desperately clinging onto the power. Not letting go of it. But we both know you relish in being powerless, don’t you? Being told what to do. I can see how much you enjoy it. Look at you, fucking yourself on my lap. If you keep making those sounds, I won’t be able to hold back, doll.
 Meeting his gaze once more, I said his name in the most desperate way I could. I didn’t want him to hold back, I wanted him to fuck me. Feeling myself getting close, I stopped and held onto Law’s shoulders before starting to roll my hips over his. He groaned and stopped talking, instead he gripped my hips forcefully to hold me in place. “Such a needy little thing, aren’t you?” He didn’t wait for my answer to throw me on my back and take off his pants. He reached out for the drawer in his nightstand and pulled out a condom before kneeling back between my legs and rolling the condom on.
 “Seeing how fucking needy you are, I would be tempted to see how many times I can make you cum until you’re finally satiated,” He looked me up and down before smirking, “But I think you’ve had quite a ride tonight,” I nodded, arching my back at the feeling of the sheets brushing against my pained back. Grinning, Law slid a hand between my leg and hovered there a moment, “Did you go a good job, or do I need to finger you myself?” It wasn’t a need more than a want, I would never say no to feeling his hands in me, on me, touching me, playing me like a toy.
 I wanted to tell him, “Law, just fuck me,” but I knew he wouldn’t like that, there was a power dynamic at play right now, I had to remember that. Yet I was also tempted to taunt him, get him more riled up but thought against it. It took some restraint, but I said, “I’m good-“ “Oh, I know you are, you are being very good, and I’m sure you’ll feel just as,” his elbows hooked under my knees, he did not waste time and started sheathing himself slowly, groaning in the process.
 A satisfied smile made its way on my lips, it felt so good, feeling him stretching me out, his hands gripping my legs with so much force it made the experience only more ecstatic. I pulled myself closer to him, making him hiss as he tried to hold back more sounds of pleasure from escaping his lips. Once he was fully in, he leaned in a moment, the muscles in my thighs were stretching but I was loving it. “What if I kept you like this?” I looked at him wide-eyed, about to refuse, but he continued, “That expression on your face, I’ll be sure to do it another time, but I want to make good use of my fucktoy tonight.”
 Pressing a kiss to my cheek, he trailed down and nibble the skin of my neck, “That’s what you are, mm? A good girl, but also my pretty little fucktoy,” He wanted me to say it, it felt weird to say it out loud, it didn’t want to roll of my tongue.
 Bucking his hips inside me, Law grunted, “I asked you a question,” I let out a breathless pant, my head diving in the pillows, “Sure, yes, I’m your fucktoy,” I huffed, trying to meet his hips once more, but he held me in place and pinned my hands over my head once more, his free hand turning my face to look at him. “Try again, without the attitude, I want to see your embarrassed face, I did say I’d ruin that silly pride of yours, did I not?” He asked rhetorically as he started thrusting very slowly inside me.
 Meeting his gaze, I felt my body heat up and stared at him the best I could, my mouth gasping soundlessly at each of his thrusts. When I closed my eyes to enjoy it more, he stopped, “You’re not going to get it, if you don’t say it, I am a patient man,” The way my name rolled of his tongue, made it a lot more sinful than I thought it could be. The staring contest lasted a few moments before I let it leave my mouth in a low tone, when I looked off to the side, I was tutted again and forced myself to look at him, jaw clenched, “I am your fucktoy, sir.”
 The smug smile on his face made me believe I was done with this, but his grip on my hands tightened when he leaned in and kissed me softly. It felt warm, and reassuring, unlike the grin that was now displayed on his lips, “Guess I’ll have to make you say it with more enthusiasm,” The pace of his thrusts quickened and deepened, each followed by a grunt. The expression on his face didn’t change, he was looking at me as if challenging me, I did not even try to match it, I was enjoying it too much.
 Mouth wide open, moans escaping my throat, back arched to meet each of his thrusts, my legs wrapped tighter around him to try and keep him deep inside me. My heels were digging his back, soon his thrusting was accompanied by soft praises, telling me how good I made him feel, how much he was enjoying the sight of me splayed out for him like that. My breath was erratic, I had a harder time to breath with the ropes, but I could still breathe well enough. It felt so good. I hadn’t realized I had begged for more until I heard his chuckle, “You’re taking me so well, let’s see how good you’ll do when you’re on your knees,” He pulled out and told me to turn around.
 With shaky limbs, I did as he gestured and pressed my chest on the bed, my hands on each side of my head, my ass up. As his hands caressed my ass, his cock teasing me, he leaned over and in a gentle voice asked my color, “Green, green,” I repeated it in case he hadn’t heard me with my head pressed against the mattress. One of his hand gently placed itself on my head and brushed my hair softly, before tracing his hand on my back, grazing his nails on my skin on the way. I whimpered at the sudden feeling, feeling even more elated.
 Without further warning, he slid his cock back in and started fucking me senseless, he did not take his time. He was going in wildly, slamming hips against his without ever stopping. I was moaning loudly, my hands gripping the sheets, when I tried to move one of my hand to touch my clit, he laughed and told me to not move them. I whined, thinking I wouldn’t get any of that heaven sent pleasure, but was caught off guard when one of his hand did exactly what I needed. His finger was playing with my clit, all the while his cock was being rammed mercilessly inside me.
 When my teeth clenched around the sheet to try to hold back my loud moaning, Law only went harder but more erratically, “I believe I said your mouth could do four things, mind reminding them to me?” I nodded against the mattress, but didn’t go ahead, I felt him move and felt the sudden stinging pain of the riding crop hitting my ass. A half-pain, half-pleasure gasp left my lips, as I obeyed, “Answer your- questions,” I breathed, wanting to cover my mouth when I interrupted myself by panting more groans. “Beg,” a strong thrust, a moan, “moan,” and again. “Scream your name-“ I felt his lips pressed against my neck as he whispered a praise, “That’s my girl,”
 “Now, since you’re being so good, I’ll tell you what’s going to happen, yes?” I nodded, he lazily played with my clit as his thrusts slowed down while he talked, “If by the time you’re going to cum, you haven’t admitted you’re my pretty little fucktoy,” he threaded his fingers through my hair and lifted my head to have me look at him, “And mean it, then I’ll stop, understood?” I looked at him through tired eyes, and yet with surprise. He wouldn’t do that, would he? As he if heard my thought, he smiled at me, a smile that told me he was entirely willing to do so. “Yes, sir.”
 The fingers that were threaded through my hair slid to my cheek and caressed it gently, “You’re so beautiful like that, let’s have you even more fucked out, mh?” Just like that, he resumed his thrusting. It wasn’t as consistent as before, making it harder to get used to the pace. When he hit the spot, I panted out his name and regretted right away, “Right- there?-“ he bucked his hips each time, making me let out high-pitched whimpers. He leaned over, and whispered, out of breath, “Time’s running out, pretty girl,” I couldn’t look at him.
 I was getting closer and closer at each thrust, my ability to speak getting lost on the way but it couldn’t let it happen. I had to tell him, but I was getting a bit foggy and out of it from how good I felt, yet I managed to utter between the melody of pleasure leaving my mouth, “Please- let me cum- I’m- fuck, your fucktoy- Law-“ A very satisfied grunt left his throat, while my face burnt hotter than fire, it was embarrassing to say so out loud, “Turn around, I want to see that pretty face of yours when I make you cum,”
 When I did, I tried to cover my face, but he moved my hands away, pining them over my head once more. “There, was it that hard? Look at you, you can’t be shy when moments ago you were practically begging for my cock,” “Law, fuck me, please,” I breathed out tiredly, needily, his expression lost its arrogance for a moment and was filled with surprise before returning to the cocky one. Without another word, he fucked me senseless as promised. It was wild, rough, I tried to bring his hand to my neck, but he only shook his head and told me not tonight before focusing back on the sensation of my walls around his cock.
 At this pace, we were both reaching our peak in no time. His thrusts were erratic, I was being loud but didn’t try to cover it, I knew he was enjoying it a lot and wanted him to feel as good as he made me feel. The mix of his cock hitting the perfect spot, his fingers stimulating my clit along the constricted feeling of the ropes around my chest brought me closer to release. I felt my toes curl as my back arched, the praising that flooded from Law’s mouth made me break, the knot inside my stomach snapped and I felt myself go limp. Law joined me soon, finishing off before pulling out.
 I was a bit dazed, but at some point, I saw Law kneel on the side of the bed with a washcloth and ointment. He first undid the ropes around my form, it took some time. I looked at him through tired eyes the entire time, he was focused but when he looked at me, a small smile was painted on his face. “You did good, we’ll talk more about that later-“ “I’m good right now, what do we talk about?” I slurred, was I that tired?
 “First, let’s take care of you. It was a bit rougher than I expected,” He said softly, when he was done with the ropes, he helped me lay on my stomach and covered my butt with a blanket as he put some ointment on my back. Maybe it was because I was only half-awake, or perhaps it was because I was dozing off even more with the massage I was receiving as he spread the ointment on my back, but I spoke, “I want to do this again… not right now, not all the time, because I think I’d like to just have casual sex with you along sessions like this too,”
 With my head resting on my arms, I glanced at Law, “But also go on a date, or more than one,” I mumbled against my arms. Law hadn’t answered yet and was now drying his hands as he handed me a shirt. For a moment, I thought I had fucked up once again. That I should have just left after the sex, but not only was I physically unable to do so at this instant, but I also did not want to. “You are aware my schedule is fucked up?”
 “That didn’t stop you from sexting a stranger from your office, did it?” I asked teasingly, making a blush appear on his cheeks as he stood up and put everything away. I only now realized he had dressed up once more. “What I’m saying is that, we can make it work if we want to, and… I don’t mind having online… fun if we’re both a bit busy but horny, you know?” a snort escaped his lips as he left the room and came back just as quickly with a plate in hand.
 “Would you be willing to go to charity galas? Because if we’re dating, there will be a lot of those,” He said softly, his cheeks still tainted with pink. I looked up at him curiously as I put on the shirt and sat up, groaning as I felt the soreness that was settling. “Would I have to wear a fancy outfit and look super hot?” I asked half-jokingly while taking the food he handed me. It felt so fucking good to eat after such an intense effort.
 Smiling genuinely, he nodded, “Yes, and maybe even add a little accessory, I think you’ve heard of it, it’s called a vibrating egg-“ “Law! Fuck off- it was- no, you know what? Let’s! I think it could be fun, but you can’t blame me if I pull you to the side when it’s too much- plus we were talking casually, did you have to bring that up?” I asked rhetorically, this time my cheeks were aflame. But we were both smiling, and when he placed a hand on my knee reassuringly and I placed mine on his.
 “It’s a strange situation but I think something good can come out of it, do we give it a try?” We had both talked about being willing to do this, but this time asking it like that felt a bit frightening. I feel like he could still refuse, and I was afraid of it, but still waited. “I’ll try my best to keep you entertained, Edelweiss,” He put an emphasis on my username before leaning in and kissing me softly. We both smiled into the kiss, feeling a lot better than we did when it started, almost content.
 Boredom makes you do crazy things, lack of free time too… but I think boredom won’t be a concern of mine no more, and no matter how busy I’ll be I’ll surely find some entertainment with the prettiest surgeon I would soon call partner, of more than research purposes.
[The end]
137 notes · View notes
isagrimorie · 4 years
Text
[initial reactions] Doctor Who - Revolution of the Daleks
TLDR: I liked it! But I do have some nitpicks. But bottom line, I liked it! Especially the exit! 
Apologies going in, if it’s rambling and incoherent.
First off, I’m going to get my criticisms out of the way:
- They really need to hire these two people:
a) Sensitivity readers
b) They need to have people of color in charge of casting. Andy Pryor has done a great job casting people but. Since they opened up casting more actors of color to be more diverse... most people in guest roles die. So it ends up being Not A Great Look.
It’s the kind of breezy: We’re hiring more actors of color without really considering the optics of it. Colorblind casting in this way shouldn’t be colorblind. More diversity behind the scenes is needed, especially in casting.
Colorblind casting isn’t representation. Execs have to consider how it looks that a black man is helping create ‘Security Drones’ for the government.
c) I get why Jack Robertson lived, and I’m actually okay with it because I know Chibbs is going somewhere and he’s interconnecting Specials to be their own kind of continuity, so next Special or series we will have Robertson appearing. But I can’t believe the Doctor believed Robertson. Unless she’s really learned from not interfering with politics, but man I wish there’s more vindication to that. I do have a sense of where this is going though, more on that later.  
d) I wish they’d gone harder with the Dalek = Police thing.
e) I really kind of wish the Doctor escaped on her own.
And now for my thoughts and the happy!
RYAN! I LOVE RYAN. I LOVE RYAN BEING EMOTIONALLY MATURE AND PUSHING BACK ON THE DOCTOR. It felt... earned that they do and, Ryan’s always been the more hesitant of the three and the more grounded. I love that it’s Ryan that the Doctor confided in, I’ve always felt like Ryan was the one Thirteen connected to the most after Grace died. And I love his development, ever since Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos Ryan is the first to quote the Doctor back to herself from the guns rule and now here to ‘New can be scary’, reminding the Doctor of her own words.
But also, I love that Ryan felt more connected to Earth, with his friends. Yaz was always the one who looks to the horizon. I like that Ryan pushed back on the smokescreen the Doctor tried to put up. Ryan was tired of the smokescreen. He had 10 months to work on his feelings about it and realized... he liked being home.
I wish we saw more what they were doing at home, like what Chibnall wrote for the Ponds in Power of Three. I did see this was his arc he was building to.
I liked that Graham was torn but eventually his loyalties are with Ryan.
I honestly think the fam thought the Doctor was just gone for a week, her time.
Also: FINALLY A COMPANION EXIT WHERE THEY’RE THE ONES WHO WALK AWAY. And because it’s time.
NO MORE TRAPPED IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE OR DYING OR BEING CONVERTED PLEASE. Anyway, that is why I was vindicated because I was getting pretty antsy at all the twitter posts almost gleeful at the thought of companion death.
Nope. No more please. No more world ending, universe ending, heartbreaking ends. I want a Jo Grant walk away, and that is what happened. (Er, I hope we don’t get a Tegan leaving from Yaz, though. Sad and disillusioned walk away).
Yaz. Oh, dear, Yaz, who seems to have tossed her career away running after the Doctor’s shining star. I loved her conversation with Jack, he was a nice contrast and sounding board. Also, Jack was much kinder to the Doctor because they didn’t miss each other, the Doctor (according to RTD’s retcon) deliberately left Jack on Satellite Five.
Yaz is willing to run and jump without looking because of the Doctor and I love that we got her feelings about this.
And, of course, the Doctor. The moment Ryan said she missed 10 months, I felt she knew the clock was ticking on her ‘fam’. She’s trying to be good to them and do right by them.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
(The Doctor knows Ryan’s ready to leave, she knew it. She’s trying to be in denial about it. But she knows).
It’s a small detail but when she processed the ‘ten months’ bit, she quickly looked to Ryan. Because if it’s one of the subtext things around is that she wanted to be a better father to Ryan than his real dad. But she still skipped out on him unknowingly.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
The way he just brushed it off, because the worst part is. Ryan is used to it.
It’s sad that the Doctor opening up to the fam was brought on after a decades’ long solitary, and probably a promise to be better. But, she calculated wrong, or the TARDIS deliberately chose to go to that time. Whatever the case, just when she’s opening up to them is when Ryan decided his time with the Doctor was at an end.
God, the moment when Thirteen said: “Mostly... angry.”
Tumblr media Tumblr media
I felt this. hard.
I think it was @ssaalexblake​ who mentioned that Thirteen acknowledging she’s angry might help with all of Thirteen’s repressed anger issues. And I think these are baby steps towards that.
She’s actually been so angry for so long, but she kept pushing it down. Like I said, Thirteen, in a way, reminds me of Raylan Givens of Justified. People think he’s mild mannered, but as his ex-wife amicably opined, Raylan was the angriest man she knew.
And I feel this for this Doctor but at least, now she’s addressing it. The first step in fixing a problem, is identifying the problem.
This was made in 2019. Thirteen being in a repeating lockdown felt very 2020 to me. The things that made me go: Oof, was the Harry Potter thing, the Doctor’s always loved HP. Unfortunately it’s post-2020 hindsight where we go: whoof.
I love Thirteen still mouthing off and being obnoxious towards other Doctor Who baddies. The Weeping Angel thing is cool and so are the Silents. BUT ALSO THE DOCTOR CALLED THE P’TING TINY! AND SHE TRIED TO EAT THE PRISON BARS. 
And then, of course, being more obnoxious with the Daleks. It’s pretty clear the difference in rawness of the Doctor’s feelings for the Daleks and the Cybermen. The Daleks’s an old ember. Her feelings for them are ice cold. A purity of feeling. The Daleks are evil and she has no compunction on killing them, the Cybermen? More personal and a raw nerve.
She’s willing to be cold towards the Daleks. 
I really like that Yaz has more skin in the game, and she knows what she can lose now. And after her talking with Jack, after seeing his perspective on it, and from his words knows that sometimes the Doctor just disappears from people’s lives.
And I love the pushback:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Skewered.
But true because she is trying to stay still and be with the fam and not leave them. But the unfortunate truth is, the Doctor does run away, and the Doctor does leave people behind and a lot of the times, the Doctor doesn’t come back because they’re an emotional coward.
The thing about Thirteen is she’s probably the longest of the Doctors to not disappoint her companions. She’s always managed to stop bad guys and always been there for them.  It’s an impressive track record for the Doctor. She’s built herself up in their eyes as someone they can rely on, and then she failed them by not getting back to them in time.
It’s not her fault, and none of them know how long it’s been for the Doctor, by the way she’s asked them I feel like they think she’s only been gone for a week.
Honestly, I’m impressed how the Doctor didn’t make it about her -- being in prison for longer than they thought. She’s looking at it from their point of view, because she already knows what big leaps in time would affect her friends.
TBH Revolution of the Daleks felt like shades of Last Christmas in that the Doctor regretted missing out time with her companion/s. In Last Christmas, the Doctor got his time back with Clara, in RotD, time passed.
Back to the Doctor and the Daleks tho.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
This reminded of Twelve’s: “You are monsters. That is the role you seem determined to play. So it seems I must play mine. The Man that stops the Monsters.”
(Look, Chibnall’s Moffat references aren’t as sledgehammer, but he does reference a lot of Moffat’s things.).
Except with Thirteen, I’m actually more terrified. Jodie does this thing where her eyes goes black and she kind of disappears into herself, this is what happened here. This promise isn’t actually good IMO.
Tumblr media
This is not a comforting face. This is a ‘I’m gonna kill a whole boatload of Daleks face and I’m not sorry, in fact I might enjoy doing that’ face.
(And, a brief aside to Robertson, I feel like the Specials have their own kind of special ‘movie’ continuity and more of his story will play out in the Specials, where hopefully he will get his comeuppance because, to me, I feel that’s where it’s going. This is more groundwork laying.
I don’t like it when the Doctor interferes with Human affairs, especially government -- because look what happened with Harriet Jones and how the Doctor broke the Golden Age. Also, I don’t want real world leaders to exist in the Whoverse because I want them to have a completely different track from us. So. Yeah, New Year’s Specials have their ongoing storyline. I’m actually not mad about it, and I enjoy Mr. Big’s performance. He’s a sleezeball. A sleezeball that knows more now. (He isn’t T rump but he isn’t better either). At least I find him enjoyable and not outright offensive. I’m okay seeing him again for the next Specials. I hope next time he does get his comeuppance.)
Now, the goodbyes:
 The HUG.
Tumblr media
We’ve been waiting for the Doctor to be more physically affectionate with the fam, and it took the Doctor being locked down for decades (maybe?), and Ryan and Graham leaving for her to hug them. And we’re all right, Thirteen gives great hugs.
Tumblr media
The feeling Thirteen’s been running away from is here, sadness. It’s good that Yaz decided to stay other wise... she’s just going to run headlong into forgetting her problems, Doctor Style.
Tumblr media
And again, learning and re-learning things: ‘It’s okay to be sad.’
Tumblr media
Oh, Thirteen.
(Before Twelve, I don’t think I was this sympathetic to the Doctor -- no wait, I was with Nine. Ten and Eleven tested my patience but it’s with Twelve and Thirteen where I’m 100% invested in the Doctor.
I also love that they’re kind of soft touching the Timeless Child thing, and as someone on twitter mentioned, this feels like an examination of an adoption story. The Doctor is going to search for their identity, their home).
I honestly wish Jack stayed in the TARDIS with Thirteen and Yaz. Jack’s a great balance, especially pushing back at the Doctor and her tactics. Her NUCLEAR tactics. I am glad that the Doctor’s still a dick to Jack, not much of an asshole as they were when the Doctor was Ten but still a dick.
Also, one thing I really love about Barrowman is that when he’s in Doctor Who, he knows it’s not his show and he doesn’t showboat, and the man can showboat. 
I’d rather Jack than random guy that I didn’t even know was gonna happen until very late.
Anyway, TLDR to all this: I enjoyed this very much! Still a lot to be parsed through in things that needs to be parsed through as I mentioned, but on the whole? I loved it.
201 notes · View notes