#tbh I can barely remember
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Sometimes you have to become obsessed with a character from a show to keep you adrift in this cruel world. It's just me and this fictional motherfucker fighting against mental instability and general unwellness of the soul
#this is about#uchiha sasuke#but tbh it can apply to pretty much all my blorbos#monkey d. luffy#roronoa zoro#naruto#one piece#eren yeager#idk why im fixating on eren of all characters lately bc i swear I barely remember what the fuck happened in aot#whole show was like a fever dream to me
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seeing the news: moonpaw is very cute.... dumb and inaccurate chimera thing tho but this is battle cats so lbr lol (plus i do like the dark side of the moon imagery idea so ill let it slide....even tho split face is just normal tortie markings)
also i hate to break it to yall but the series would need a total and complete rework and overhaul where the clans break apart and reform in order to escape the incest problem currently in the series just because of how much of firestars dna has injected itself everywhere >>;;
the authors clearly dont keep proper track of the family trees (they have a lot of cats to keep track of i get it) and i dont think it needs to constantly be this major talking point we all know it, its not ideal, but theres more interesting things to discuss about the character reveal for moonpaw imo
#pond speaks#warrior cats#would like the authors to keep better track but tbh i think the fandom mostly pays attention to it#i wanna say even in the books the cats barely recognize cousins as cousins (that i can remember i havent read the books in a LONG time >>)#so dont quote me on that shit lmao#maybe its just me but id rather be seeing cool accurate chimera moonpaws instead of looking her up and seeing#every other post being people mad about fictional cat incest that we are all hyper aware of and everyone already complains about daily#i sadly have resigned acceptance about it tho i guess cuz yeah that tracks for the series
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#and i SADDLE UP MY PONYTA AND I RIDE INTO THE SIT-TAY#I MAKE A LODDA NOISE CUZ THE GURLS THEY R SO PRETAY#RIDIN' UP N DOWN BROADWAY ON MY OLD STUD LEROY AND THE GIRLS SAY:#SAVE A RAPIDASH RIDE A MEOWBOY!!!#JOHN WAYNE AINT GOT NUTHIN ON MY FRINGE GAME HELL NO!!!!#well stranger don't ya know i'd like to be yer friend... IF I HAD THE TIME TO STAAAAAAY.#BUT I'M A BRAMBLIN A BLOWIN IN THE WIND. I'VE GOT TO CATCH ANOTHER STAAAAAAAAGE.#I STRAP ON MY GUITAR JUST LIKE A FORTY FIVE. I PRAY EACH NIGHT MY AIM IS TRUUUUEEEE#and ACQUAINTANCES TURN TO FRIENDS I HOPE THOSE FRIENDS THEY REMEMBER ME#HOLD THE NIGHT FOR RANSOM AS WE KIDNAP THE MEMORIES#NOT SURE THERES A WAY TO EXPRESS WHAT U MEANT TO ME#SOMETIMES I GET TO THINKIN BOUT SETTLIN' DOWN. FADE OFF INTO A MEMORY.#BUT EVERY NIGHT THAT I STEP OUT TO FACE THE CROWD?#I KNOW THIS IS THE LIFE FOR MEEEEEEE#pokemon#meowth#ok context. to whomever it may concern. which is no one but idc i have a lot to say and no one to say it to#first off heres my like bi-annual post bc i 1. only draw f*rdekyl* and fucking detest f*re *emblem fans with a burning passion#so i hate sharing my 'art' . so heres a rare non-fk thing. bc i also hate social media as a whole it makes me sue of side all#but like 2. i have deliberately avoided scar/vio bc its a BAD GAME. and its not made well. also i know 'open world' formats#trigger my ocd. which it did exactly. but thats mostly irrelevant. but in anycase. i bit the bullet bc i was in a pkmn mood#esp after my long beloved n*te and dook*ie gave me a hankering for a pkmn game again#and my lil bro accidentally bought 2 copies years ago so i was like fck it ill give it a shot its Free#and yes the game is dogshit. however. everytime i see a meowth in the wild i lose my mind.#his jaunty little yee-haw walk kills me every time. i adore him. thus this was inspired.#alright imma head out i fucking hate this website as well as every other social media . maybe ill draw something non-fk in like a year#see ya in like a year maybe if i live that long. which i wouldnt count on bc tbh this year has been BAD in terms of my pain. im on the#EXTREME decline and can BARELY draw anymore. i want to die. i got nothin left. it just keeps getting worse so adios!#:(
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sorry i can't hang out rn the two men from that 4 year old show kissed and i literally cannot think about anything else. yeah gonna be all month
#good omens#gomens#crowzira#deleted messenger haven't talked to any of my irls in a week#lowkey hate how nice it is to get a break tbh like oh my goddd im in the mental illness zone do NOT talk to meeee#it feels mean but also I've spent basically every second since September hanging out with#1 - 10 people near constantly. i need some downtime. although by downtime i did not#imagine stopping all human functions and just becoming a vessel for an engless loop of g0mens thoughts#not even true i CAN talk to ppl but only if it's someone that knows how ill i am or if it's#about g0mens. otherwise leave me alone#like i can literally only talk in terminally online tumblr terms rn i can barely remember hungarian#MY ASS LITERALLY GOT FACTORY RESET TO MY TERMINALLY ONLINE SELF😭😭#not true coz back when i used to be this online i still talked to irls. mostly to get them to watch whatever i was watching but still#im gonna hang out with some tumblr mutuals who are just as ill as me soon. so that's something#idk how the fabric of budapest can handle that much mental illness in one room but whatever#ineffable husbands#i misspelled it.
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Is either I didn't find my people yet or Ekko is by far the most forgotten character I've ever encountered in all these years of random hyperfocus.
#before this becomes discourse#i mean this in like- he's barely in those silly posts of who would do what#like tag games#and he's remembered as pair for jinx#but like#can we appreciate him as a complex character too#where is my people#ekko lovers#im calling all of you#bleak posting#late night rambles tbh#idk i just wanna see more of him and even following most of his tags i just get cait and vi lol#and when it's him is timebomb#yadda yadda yadda#anyway#goodnight#*also please this is no hate to timebomb or caitvi or whatever*
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Thinking about the train hostage arc in the first Trimax book....and I have some thoughts on some of the takeaways I've seen (in other places).........
I'm ngl it kinda bothers me when people read into the train hostage arc in trimax as "Vash is 100% in the wrong, just like his brother", because that was very much not the intended reading...it wasn't just supposed to be a "look how flawed Vash's ideology is in practice" moment (that's the hospital yuri arc ❤), it was supposed to be a "look how hard it is in this world for Vash to abide to his moral code, and yet he still does it despite the negatives" moment. He wasn't exactly happy with the end solution and wasn't exactly fighting super hard to stop the father from shooting the accused killer—he almost let him do it, even—but he wanted to ultimately stop the cycle of bloodshed and was willing to make himself look like a jackass doing so. The arc is a narrative set-up for the penultimate conflict of the series; it's not so much about the merits of righteous violence vs. pacifism but rather setting the stage for a showdown between vengeance vs. absolution.
Now, would I do the same if I were in Vash's thigh-high boots? No of course not, fuck that one dude in particular lmao. But I don't exactly think Vash is weaker or unprincipled for choosing the option he did, either.
#trigun maximum#trigun spoilers#trigun but also discourse :( sorry guys :((#tbh an interesting thought exercise would be to change certain characteristics of the main conflict and see how the audience opinion change#but I don't think anyone would like that much because those are hard and not actually much fun when you dig into them 😬😬#also this was inspired by the fandom on The Other Site. Nobody specifically here lmao#also also I just want to say I wish more people would analyze this chapter from the perspective of Vash having recently regained his memory#he went from “dude on a crusade of revenge against his brother with barely restrained anger simmering under the surface”#to “dude who completely remembers his childhood trauma and is also aware of the fact that he's a living weapon with a deathcount”#he very clearly doesn't wanna be a weapon and the guilt over killing innocents really obviously weighs heavily on him#and the guilt only becomes more severe over time and feeds into his self-loathing and martyr complex the more clearly he remembers#it's way easy to recognize that he doesn't want people to suffer the way he does even if it makes them seem cowardly to onlookers#once again hitting that “how can I forgive myself if I can't forgive other people and by extension my brother” note#actually this post may be the equivalent of dousing myself in honey and setting myself by an anthill full of bullet ants......hm#hope it doesn't cause drama for people here.....I'll put it under a cut just in case..........#discourse#<- just in case
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oaughh I really need to rewatch more of the shows I watched during my Depressive Episodes to Feel Happiness... I appreciated MSP so much more this time around
#I guess I should rewatch Only Boo... And maybe Cooking Crush...#I can barely remember half of the shit I watched back then god I was in such a daze tbh
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easy explaination of why most if not all the characters have ended up flanderized in FEH: it started as a gacha game for FE fans and now is a FE game for gacha fans. That's why Alphonse won over Sigurd or why Gullveig won last year's cyl with only 2 lines of dialogue too.
This is why I don't want the jugdral remakes to happen, bc look at engage, using FEH's mechanic and FEH using its ring mechanic in order to sell more lyn, camilla and marth alts. I don't want jugdral to end up with another silly gimmick that isn't necessary on the game or the story but can be sold as another gatcha powercreep thingy. As long as FEH is on service, the main franchise is going to be directyl affected by it.
2 lines of dialogue? You're charitable anon!
But... yeah, with time, FEH became its own thing and is apparently even considered a main FE Title given how Vero was added, albeit through a DLC, to Engage and I mean -
If Vero's writing is supposed to represent FEH, I have to inform you I found my new least liked FE game lol - which brings the main question : what is an FE game?
TBH, to me, FEH OCs are barely characters (Vero needed heavy retcons and ignoring elephants in the room which were there since book 1 to become remotely close to one) which makes me completely baffled at how they can even be "picked" for events like CYL, but if we are talking about popularity contests, then people will vote for their faves... aka the most recent characters they like or have seen - sure it doesn't help that Siggy'n'Leif are from jp only games, but CYL1 saw Roy being picked, even when his Smash Bros popularity dwindled. Can you imagine, in 2024 if Roy wasn't picked for CYL1, him competing with the non-entity that is Alfonse as "the most beloved FE characters voted in by the fans?".
I mean, I can get liking OCs in gacha/crossover games (I'm not pointing at someone in particular about Crestoria lol even if i prefered kanana to vicious) but I can bet you 2 kebabs that if a Tales gacha organised the equivalent of CYL, Leon and Yuri would be picked before any Male OC, and I'd bet 1 kebab about Alicia or even Milla being added before the Kanonos.
In FEH, Book 2 Vero (or was it 3?) was picked over... Elincia. Recency bias is a thing but... yep, it has been a long time now since FEH stopped being a gacha game for fans of FE, but became its own thing with sometimes FE characters being referenced.
I agree with your last remark though, as long as FEH exists, evil will - I mean, as long as FEH exists, it will have some sort of influence in the main games - even if I reiterate, FE15 managed to dodge its influence, only to fall in some other pitfalls.
Jugdral remakes can play like SoV, "additional" characters will be in a DLC and not have any relevance to the story, I mean, even if you can roll for Sharena on a NG+, she might not even have one line.
But, tbh, it's not the gacha aspects that worry me the most about Jugdral remakes, it's the state of the franchise/fandom post FE15 and especially post FE16, but I'll make a separate post about it.
#anon#replies#damn you dimiclaudeblaigan#now i'm thinking about the Tales series#tbh Ludger was the silent protag with superpowers who can someone ruin everyone and while it pissed me#Ludger was less imo forcibly inserted in relationships existing between the ToX1 cast than Billy is in FE16#ToX2 had a butt load of issues#but I don't think Ludger being a silent protag is one#as for you anon I feel so much#remember when FEH was released we had the first FE Warriors being released too#it was supposed to have FE characters#but it was the bare minimum of FE Archanea characters#and then full FE13/14#9 fates 6 awakening and 3 SD characters for the vanilla game#tbh the only reason i downloaded FEH to begin with was because I saw the first Seliph'n'Julia banner#and believed we could have finally have a game that is about the franchise and not the last 3 games#bar Cipher of course#so now seeing more and more Camilla+Lyn alts is very tiresome#sure they sell but damn it
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um. tfw your life is about to change massively very very soon and it still doesn't even feel real yet and still feels like somethings gonna pop up and it won't actually happen and also you're scared as fuck that you're too stupid to actually do it and it'll all be for nothing
#like what do you mean full time salaried w benefits and paid vacation just to do. school.#what made you so enthusiastically think i was the perfect one to do this#when the last approx 20something other guys were like ummmm no you cannot do it#tbf like all that other shit up there aside#this did actually come at the perfect time#i look back on who i was during my masters and i legit do not recognize that person#i barely even remember it i have to look at pictures to think back on who i was#in a strange roundabout way being forced home to stay for a while#kind of re centered me and gave me time to come back to myself in a big way. i was really lost before#and chaining something like this directly after my masters would have been disasters#even like this time last year i did not have this level of mental clarity#and i think thats why i didn't get any of the other positions i was just in a fog and i think people could tell#so as much as like im super scared and nervous about this big change and big exit from my comfort zone#and a little sad and mournful that im leaving my family and wont hear my native language all day every day anymore#im the most ready ive ever been#2019 me was NOT ready im scared of her tbh!! idk what wave i was on but it was weirdo shit!#im also proud that i essentially rawdogged and brute forced a lot of introspection and improvement#entirely on my own#like i really can only just describe it as clarity i feel like i matured 10 years in 4 and cleared all the fog#i feel so good about the way i handle things and react to things now vs then#im like 500x more unbothered and actually know how to put myself first now#anyway uh this prob could have been its own post in and of itself#but woteva innit im proud of how much internal repairs i did on myself over the last few years#became a stable genius as it were#whos a lot more clearly defined and present#but fuck man! i am still scared of being 2stupid
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did a screenshot redraw of kai
#kai#screenshot redraw#tbh i was more of a zane girly#lego ninjago#kai has cool fire#i was so into this show#i made wwffy quizzes that i abandoned lmao#art#digital art#like i just realized i can kinda draw the serpentine now#i can do pythor some justice#ughhhh i can remember that drawing i madeeee#noooo#ignore my anatomy mistakes i made his pecs too big and his left shoulder is whack#that whole left side of his is just intelligible#i focused too much on his face and right side#you can see how i neglected detail on his left it looks bare and illogical#i love downturned eyes he looks so sleepy
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Honestly, it seems more and more to me that the way some people talk about depression and anxiety is just ... wildly divorced from what it's like, especially severe depression/anxiety. In particular, there seems this sort of assumption that severe depression or anxiety is intrinsically less severe than any other mental illnesses, less disruptive, less divergent from what can reasonably be expected from human existence.
And, yeah, bullshit.
#i'm autistic and have lots of problems from it that pervade a great deal of my life!#never feel more insane than while living in fear of being Not Myself while severely depressed though#tbh#i think some people only understand severity by proximity to suicide and not by things like depersonalization and memory loss#obviously suicide is a far more urgent concern but secondary symptoms switching on and off like a light switch is terrifying#and all the 'you've just got to take responsibility!!!' seems to assume you'll actually remember what you're taking responsibility for#it's like ... oh you've got to take responsibility for this completely unpredictable and involuntary experience you can barely remember#okay! thanks! super helpful#anghraine rants#rare breed of attack unicorn#depression#anxiety#cw suicide mention
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Me, knowing full well I'm gonna be evicted from the house I've lived in since I was 9 in just a few short months, socially exhauted from watching a constant stream of people come in and look around with intent to buy my childhood home for three days in a row now, knowing that this'll keep happening for the rest of the week and right this moment people are engaged in a bidding war over the truest home I've ever lived in and that I'm powerless to do anything about it since I'm broke as shit: Man why do I feel so bad right now
#I remember we used to move around a lot when I was a kid#but this place was where we finally settled for so long#like I know on some level we'll make it through this since we always have before but just. man.#this shit sucks dude#this little shithole of a house#with ghosts in the walls and asbestos coating the outside#is the cheapest place in the entire town#and even HERE it feels like we're barely making ends meet#and so just watching people waltz around with clear intent to take this from us#the only place in town we can fucking afford#just kinda pisses me off tbh#especially with rent and housing prices skyrocketing since fucking covid#one of the guys apparently wanted to buy this property just to rent out to people#and I'm glad I wasn't in the room for that one because I don't think I could have held my tongue for that one#plus all these tours have been fucking with my sleep schedule and I'm exhausted as shit lol#plus the stupid fucking property service that my ''homeowner'' does deliberately anonymizes the shit out of him#so I don't even have a name or a face to be pissed at#just this vague nebulous force that's been bleeding us of money for years#who's never once done anything to help upkeep the house he owns#and now that he's faced with a fairly large cost he can't ignore#(something with the city and new pipes)#he's just gonna sell it and make it someone else's problem#and just completely uproot and fuck over our lives in the process#and the worst part is that I know this isn't even an uncommon experience#landlords pull this bullshit all the time#and it drives me insane that people are just fucking OKAY with that#not to speak for everyone since I'm just one broke queer person#but this shit should not be allowed to stand#well I've hit the limit on how many tags I'm allowed to post so I guess that's the end of that#Pun's text Posts
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welcome to cj/crispy's bi-yearly ptsd rant about fireworks, you are all safe and valid here and i am mentally giving out juice boxes and animal crackers
#last year wasnt too bad i barely remember nye tbh but OH BOY are the neighbors making up for it this year#they arent like super big or anything but they are LOUD and we're just rural enough that nobody gives a shit#like i cannot tell you how much i love the idea of fireworks and their history#but id also like to not have 12 consecutive minor panic attacks because the neighbors have some money to burn#it's worse around the 4th of july ’cause that also has the caveat of ''what tf are you even celebrating fuck you''#and im much more chill when it's like families celebrating with their kids because i remember how much fun mine had#but there are no kids around us#they're all adults and i want so badly to just be like ''yeah you do you man im glad youre having a good time'' but also like#they have to sell specialised jackets and blankets and medication for pets for nye and 4th of july#we dont have too many veterans in our part of town but i will never forget that pic of the vet hiding in the subway with his hands over#his ears#i dunno man i know not every activity can be accommodating to absolutely everyone#but i also think avoiding loud triggering (for a bunch of different reasons) noises is like#doable#there are quiet fireworks#thankfully my cat couldn't give two shits about loud noises but /I/ give two shits about loud noises#shut up cj#to delete
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Yes, thank you. Toshiyuki Toyonaga, my love, is in a Hoyoverse game <3 idc how bad his kit is (after 5 rounds of nerfs </3) I will pull for him like my life depends on it just to listen to this hot fox man’s voice lines on repeat. I just hope you become a Genshin character in the future with a better kit (ㅠㅠ)
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Also, ever since I found out he was voicing Jiaoqiu, I have been thinking back to Dairoku since Toshi voiced the fox-eyed Toshisugu and the actual fox, Shiratsuki. I really should go back and actually finish the routes for the remaining 3 characters lol
#desiree talks#hsr jiaoqiu#toyonaga toshiyuki#dairoku#cringe post but whatever lol#I LOVE TOSHIYUKI’S VOICE SM I MELT#the only routes i’ve done in dairoku are tokitsugu and shu#shiratsuki or akuroou are next; im not that fond of hira tbh#too bad i will probably never progress in hsr#i want to be able to take screenshots while i play#but I had to take it off my ipad bc of space and im prioritizing genshin#and although im doing bare minimum on pc#i hate using pc bc its annoying to multitask and i dont want to remember what key does what#so until i can buy a new ipad (mine is gen 8) that’s not happening#its already getting laggy just being in the overworld so it’s probably going to get worse when natlan gets added RIP#Youtube
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Anybody else with like sensitivity issues have like... the opposite of overstim happen?? Like everything has gotten so much at some point that you ended up switching it off entirely and no experience Little to No Stim?
#brought to you by my incredibly limited tactile senses#i remember as a little kid being obsessed with textures#like I would just Touch things because I had to know what they felt like#or being repulsed by certain textures#and now i can barely feel anything at all#rough textures feel smooth mostly and soft or smooth textures don't register at all#i can't really feel pain that well either OR pleasure tbh#like light bothers me but also I'm so used to it I couldn't even tell you what the symptoms are#the only sense I have that still works over time is my sense of smell#did this happen to anyone else???
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gimme a minute to cook over this bnha verse and then i'll get cracking on some starters B))
#chiyo's getting an upgrade bc years ago i went 'ooh chameleons have iridophore cells? neat!' but guess who's even better#at camouflage!! octopi and the like!! like they can change the texture of their skin and have other cells that help them blend in#maybe i'll give her a venomous bite bc didja know octopi are also very venomous and basically a bite could kill you asdfg#though i'll just make chiyo's bite paralyzing?? probably?? like go get it treated but you probably won't die??#anyway!!!#might do a sort of bare bones write up for this verse while i catch up on the series bc boy the last thing i remember is the kids#being put in the dorms?? i think after the lil kidnapping incident#i think i was on the verge of them meeting the upperclassmen and training for their licenses??? i dunno for sure#but i gotta decide if i'm gonna read or watch it first... probably read bc watching will take me much longer tbh#gonna hyperfocus so hard on superhero stuff i feel it coming y'all#forgive me for the person i'm about to become ( regular ol' bel but she's crying over superheroes again )#get ready to ramble | ooc
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