#tbf it was probably on offer
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I suspect we may have had to remortgage our house to afford this…
#when the husbae does the shopping#is lurpak still really expensive? I’ve actually no idea#tbf it was probably on offer
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man why cant i freely be a bit weird and awkward irl :| what a scam. whats the point
#born to be a little weirdo#forced to comply with societal standards#who wanna come over so i can stare at them with cold dead eyes for 20mins wordlessly#<- tbf im probably the bubble of joy autism who jumps up and down and gets so excited i get lost in what im saying#who wanna come over so i can yap abt the blorbos for 20mins#i WILL flap my hands and have to shake off my excitement like a dog#i offer baked goods and 100 different types of tea to choose from#hela yaps
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sonicexe is endlessly fascinating to me like i can't even pretend it doesn't captivate me (for the wrong reasons obviously). it's not even a creepy genesis game it's a windows executable. somehow sonic is evil and fucked up and his eyes are hyper realistic and filled with blood and depending on the interpretation this is just sonic now or it's something else that just looks like sonic. he wants his friends dead so bad please launch the funny exe and let him commit murder and atrocities. sometimes sally acorn is there for some reason which is just goofy to me im sorry but a character from one of the very, aesthetically interesting 90s cartoons in something trying to look like a genesis game is really funny to me. is the appeal sonic being fucked up or even edgier than he's ever allowed to be? it certainly isn't the supposedly haunted game judging by what kids have done with this idea in the more recent years. the creepypasta though iconic is written like dogshit and falls into every single video game creepypasta trope available and the fangames are not that great either. we also already have an evil and fucked up sonic that is a computer program he's called metal sonic and he's been here since the 90s and is from one of the most creepypasta-coded sonic games you'll ever play. what is this little guy's deal and is anyone utilizing him in cool and interesting ways or am i the only one even entertaining that option
#soda offers you a can#ok tbf my sonic unfiction idea revolves around a dev copy of cd and the focus is not on blood-covered sonic#but rather a deep sense of care built into the levels enemies and atmosphere itself#which was build by someone for a very specific person and there's a chance neither of them are here anymore#and you're staring at something so haunted and so ghostly#and sonic is just sort of there as your vessel of investigation#but my point remains you could probably do something fun with sonicexe that people aren't really doing i don't think
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#all-staff at work abt *waves hands*#specifically reminding/offering up the like free counseling for employees that we have access to#and being like. we will continue to do our work and to help the public as best we can w/in our sphere etc etc#professional life gonna get crazy (/neg) over the next year i think. live laugh love public service#anyways. i might take up the free counseling offer (and tbf i probably should've reached out like. months ago)#doing a presentation on the economic impact of immigrants and how the economy would melt if we didnt have them on friday. lmfao.#going to eat something that isn't halloween candy in the hopes of feeling less despair#i like. know if i can pick myself up and collect the pieces. well i have no choice but to pick myself up do i. so it's a when not an if#but i know the sooner i can the more of a positive impact i can have like both professionally and in my community and personal life#but it's really hard to pick up the pieces at speed. when i just want to go home to my parents and be a child again#n spreadsheets are fucking hard to read thru tears. even spreadsheets that i can see the clear line from my work to fighting fascistic govs#i have a spreadsheets job but i have a spreadsheets job where the bottom line is helping the public.#so every day that i can't pull myself together is potentially a delay on helping others. so i need to pull it the fuck together like Now#so i a) dont lose my job and b) dont end up causing problems where we are meant to help
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Theyre redoing my roof this week and man its going to be a long week
#shay speaks#tbf they did offer to let me stay somewhere else and i said no bc i didnt want to#like. have to move stuff out for a week#theyre gone by the time i get home from work at least but thursday especially is gonna be a long day#might be a 'go to one of the other parks and read' type day or just hang out#thinking the nature park tee bee haych thats probably my best bet#i might alsooooo do my grocery shopping tonight so i dont have to worry#abt bringing stuff home while theyre doing this roof stuff#and i can spend more time at the lighthouses on wednesday that im going to
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I’ll probably not finish this but digital art can be fun sometimes…..
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I think natsume and mob meeting would be fun for a lot of reasons but honestly the funniest part would just be natsume finding out mob's getting paid. mob asks him how much he gets paid cause he feels like reigen is short changing him and natsume's just like you get MONEY??
it really is just natsume and mob forming a union
#I mean tbf to natori he does offer to pay natsume like. once in one of the earlier episodes#and most of the rest of their encounters natsume was very blatantly not supposed to be there#but he still does most of natori's job when he is there lol. where's his cut#he'd probably be to nice to ask natori for money#but you know the next time matoba drags him into helping him he is asking for a paycheck lmao
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also been thinking about Twilight,,,, I thought she might've been Lyla's estranged grandma with the way she was talking to her but now i'm realizing there's a much more likely chance the author is Sienna and/or the real Lyla somehow
Considering Twilight wrote about Lyla's past ~5 years iirc before they actually happened and she says she's been watching "Lyla" and standing by, hoping to lend a hand...considering Twilight wants Lyla to stay in this world at the cost of forgetting about the one she left behind,,, who are you Twilight and why do you care for Lyla in particular (/why do you not want her to return to the place where she is happiest??)
I kind of can't help but think that Twilight is Sienna who transmigrated and grew up in Korea and has been waiting for the right moment to approach The Voice/Lyla. And maybe she wrote about her old world in an attempt to get Lyla to try and one day find her? Which WOULD explain the idiosyncrasies between the world Lyla knows about and the world Sienna left behind, such as why Lyla is completely clueless about Lyla's past and about Helene's harsh situation with her parents.
#also im still kind of sus about the fact Twilight said she rescued Lyla but Lyla's rescuer looked like a guy/was correlated to Fian#whoever Twilight is she happens to know the truth of Lyla's past before it happened and also knows somehow about the other world#but there's no one in canon who fits that definition atm#so Twilight's proooobably a time traveler who transmigrated to Earth#which makes the idea of her being Sienna or Lyla wonky#but tbf i could see Twilight being the same as Sienna??#because Sienna obsessed over The Voice and treated her like a deity to be obeyed???#so Twilight offering Lyla unconditional help to get away from her own family in return for forgetting their old world makes sense???#but then also does that mean original Lyla exists in this verse too?#because Sienna dearly loved Lyla too and considering Lyla's fate is unknown maybe Sienna got reunited with her in the real world???#and wants to now take in fake!Lyla and give her a better life that guarantees her happiness in exchange for the guidance she gave Sienna???#waaaaaah there's so much to consider as to what's going on but the mystery of Twilight and who she is is really fascinating#bc she's gotta be a time traveler of sorts and probably is a transmigrator too#but no one in the current cast fits those qualifications so unless Twilight came from the novel's future#which means hell she could be Helene from the future transmigrated to Earth to help Lyla (:eyes:)#it's likely she's Sienna which would explain a lot of why she would bother helping Lyla in particular and knows things about her
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Bro I have been trying for /so long/ to find something I really like (as in to the point of unpromptedly looking for fanworks) and like I tried qsmp - too much content/the person I liked disappeared for months; tried d20 - it's great, I love it, I watch every new episode but idk I never had something I could obsess over; indulged in old interests, didn't have the same spark; got into hermitcraft and life series - nothing but ranchers really did it for me; and apparently all I had to do was tag on an rpf to that and that's what my brain latches on to
#my stuff#like don't get me wrong#other than q smp I regularly enjoy all of these thing#I was so excited for this week's d 20 episode and it was /amazing/#but like I wrote analysis and shit for d smp#what I've read of dt rpf alone? outweighs literally everything else since (excluding c! d smp ofc)#idk if it's just bc the school year's almost over and I'm like more relaxed or smth#and idk if this'll stay like this#but I've been binge reading all the fic that community has to offer#so that's probably some sort of indication#tbf there's not much of it#but like I'm indiscrimately reading all pairings all ccs and that just doesn't happen for me#not like there's a choice but still#anyways I still love dt it just got kinda ruined for me bc my sister doesn't like d at all and we got into arguments abt it#and all the everything tired me out (pre even the allegations there was always just so much)#srry if I accidently tagged something I tried not to lol#anyways off to go make some unwise choices
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thinking about the guy i had a chat with while having a smoke waiting for my friends friday night
#he was very well meaning#complimented my style and tried to pinpoint my Subculture basically#he started with goth and eventually landed on punk/alt and i was like good lad#he seemed sound to be fair to him we chatted abt town and how it gets a bit boring 💀#he was like youre not on your own are you?? and i was like nonono just waiting on my friends and he offered his company if i was alone lmao#he was probably early 20s i'd say maybe between 22/24#young but like still a good bit older than me 💀#but he seemed v well meaning and tbf he did pass the time while i was waiting for my friends
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me throwing out my awful messages like throwing stale dry bread to innocent ducks
#i mean tbf bread is probably worse for ducks than banal messages are for humans#(okay i checked it's not actually bad#just like. junk food for ducks#will fill them up without offering necessary nutrients)#feeling very akin to a duck rn#(tbf my source is one (1) bbc article that cited various Duck & Swan Charities)#well. one swan charity & the rspb#so i would assume fairly solid/accurate but possibly there is ~nuance i am missing as someone who is not a bird food researcher
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The Twitter Marriage
(Oscar Piastri x fem!driver!reader)
Yn Ln has had a crush on fellow driver Oscar Piastri since their f2 days but she never and will never tell him.... at least not to his face
or
In which Aston Martin driver needed the alcohol to confess her feelings
N.B: rushed a bit cause of finals, but I hope you like it. Also, doesn't follow any timeline tbh. NOTHING IN THIS IS ADDS UP IN REGARDS OF DATES AND CHARACTERS AND STUFF, IT IS JUST FOR FUN.
WARNINGS: REALLY BAD PICK UP LINES, SOME SWEAR WORDS. Probably some spelling mistakes as well. Short fic.
faceclaim: sabrina carpenter
Masterlist
Liked by ynmyworld, f1memes, charliethesinglemom and 168,920 others
Keepingupw/f1: Aston Martin driver, Yn Ln, tweets as she celebrates her p3 in Monaco.... it seems like she has something to say to fellow driver, Oscar Piastri.
username: the entire grid is just having fun with that joke.
username: miss ma'am, STAND UP!!
username: what do you mean stand up? SHE FOLDED LIKE A CHAIR
username: understandably so tbf
username: no but her offering to make Spain Oscar's home race LIKE CARLOS ISN'T LOOKING FOR THAT MAN'S BLOOD.
username: so foul of her 💀
username: her tagging him is insane
username: pr is gonna have a headache tomorrow
username: the fact that she's tweeting this shit while in a club, WHERE OSCAR IS A FEW METERS AWAY FROM HER
username: you know she's out of it when she starts using twitter.
Liked by F1_updates_live, ynmyqueen, oscaroopastryy and 184,710 others
Keepingupw/f1: yn ln on her way back to the hotel last night after celebrating her Monaco podium.
username: she got wasted omg
username: now those tweets make sense
username: where did she even get the shoe box from
username: and where did her shoes go, papers fell out of that thing
username: so are you guys gonna post the video or?
username: what video?
username: there's a video going on twitter where these pics are taken from she was so drunk, she was actually dancing in the middle of Monaco (go queen, live your best life) and then the papers fell out of the box and she immediately went down to pick them up and put them back but then after she was halfway through she kept looking at the ground then at the box and then at her feet, you can see her pouting as she kept putting away the little papers in the box again
username: shut upp!!! I need that video! IT IS A LIFE SAVING MATTER ATP
username: yn ln is gonna be the death of me
yn ln has shared a story
text: when you wake up to a video of drunk you on the streets of Monaco and some tweets that should've gone with you to the grave
yn ln has shared a story
text: self pity and cringe time over, back to our regular schedule of slaying
Sebastian Vettel has shared a story
text: someone tell her that staying with me till the Spanish GP isn't going to make people forget that she exists
yn ln has replied to your story: your kids love me! AND SO DOES HANNA
yn ln has replied to your story: also, please take pity on me, I can't face him again, ever, I will just retire, I can't do this
yn ln has replied to your story: why are you ignoring meeeee!!! Not you too, Oscar is already doing thaaaat, I wanna turn into a worm, I'd die quicker if I was a worm, I wouldn't have to go through this much embarrassment if I was a worm
Sebastian Vettel replied to your message: are you drunk right now?
Liked by pierregasly, wtf1, oscaroopastryy and 268,715 others
Keepingupw/f1: we bring you part 2 of the osyn saga
username: i love this family
username: yn is such a pr nightmare
username: the ACTUAL child of fernando
username: wait, now that you reminded me, I need to update the family tree
username: post the updated family tree you coward
username: anyone who doesn't watch f1 will 100% believe that Charles and Nicole are Oscar's parents
username: hey, don't disrespect charles' heartfelt adoption like that
username: this sport is so fucking unserious
username: I refuse to believe that this is real
Sebastian Vettel has shared a story
Text: huh..... it's not so bad having her here
Liked by OscarPiastri, Charles_leclerc, Arthur_leclerc and 918,037 others
yn ln: let her cook now 🧡
username: yn.... yn..... YN.... WHAT ARE YOU COOKING YN
username: it has started, I can feel it in my bones
username: so she's with Oscar now, good to know (screaming into my pillow as I type)
username: oh so if I wear orange I'm dating Lando now, nice to know ig
username: fuck off away from my replies, I wanna have fun
username: yn pls don't, I can't lose you, you were the only wife left standing
username: PLS TELL ME THAT MY SHIP SAILED
username: if I see that australian's face anywhere on this account I will start biting ankles
username: ok Leo, geez, no need to terrorise your sister-in-law
username: I can't believe she was simping on main for a boy that goes 'wut'
Liked by Ynln, pierregasly, Arthur_leclerc and 890,627 others
Oscar Piastri: let him cook 💚
username: nope, no, nuuh, I see nothing
username: other partner's team colors, matching captions, liking the posts..... yup, they're officially dating
username: we lost her to a mini kimi raikkonen
username: I see that as a win tbh
username: kimi was and is the IT girl of the grid
username: how dare you forget about our very own Britney Spears.... nico you will always be missed
username: you can't prove that they're dating from just that
username: oh boy, the delulu is strong with this one
Oscar Piastri and Yn Ln shared a post
Liked by Charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, danielricciardo and 903,815 others
Yn ln & Oscar Piastri: I said let them cook 💚🧡
username: YES YES YES YES YES YES
username: MY PARENTS
username: This is why women shouldn't be in f1, wtf is wrong with Oscar? Why would he date yn? And what is this hand placement? Where can I get a yn? Or an oscar?
username: slowly deleting my paragraph
username: had us the first half, ngl
username: yn hide oscar really well during the Spain GP, we leave his safety in your hands
username: THE CURLS OMG
username: MR OSCAR JACK PIASTRI WHAT IS THIS BEHAVIOUR WHAT IS THIS HAND PLACEMENT
#oscar piastri x oc#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri x yn#f1 x reader#oscar piastri x fem!reader#oscar piastri fic#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri smau#f1 smau#formula 1 x female reader#formula 1 x oc#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 x you#formula 1 smau#oscar piastri social media au#oscar piastri fluff#f1 imagine#f1 social media au
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might have to make peace with the fact that i am completely unemployable and that the ~7 years of working towards my master's degree are absolutely worthless but it's fine this is fine :)
#nina.txt#genuinely couldnt sleep last night bc of this lmao#although tbf this current panick is probably 90% caused by hormones and whatnot#but like the whole having-to-move-thing just kinda put into perspective how little time there is left until i graduate ie until i have to#find an actual job#and i mean. both my ba and my ma programs are pretty much the best germany has to offer in this field#and it currently seems like ill end my ma with very good grades#so thats all nice - except that theres so few employers who actually care about my field#and ive always knew that and that ill have to be very flexible about where ill actually work#but. what if - and hear me out now - absolutely nothing works out?#like i dont need to do something Extraordinarily Important but id just. id like to do... something yk#anyway! ill work out now and hope that that will make me think more rationally again. peace and love
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his animations are mine what atrocities will i have to do to them to put them into frontiers? whomst knows
#soda offers you a can#tbf i might only import a couple of these depending on what sort of physics stuff i might change#i'll probably try to emulate the way the real silver mod handles boosting and make him slower than sonic also#so at least the boosting will need a new animation i imagine? or an edited one#idk im going to peruse these wares for now and make note of the ones that would work for my purposes#and then worry about how to go about gluing them into frontiers
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A guide to writing fics set in museums / with a museum worker character
Hey hi hello it’s your local museum worker here, offering you some insight and tips to writing museum-related fics! This is primarily organized as a list of different jobs you could have in a museum and what their duties entail. This post might also be useful to you if you’re considering working in museums and want to know What Goes On In There. Let’s go!
For simplicity/fic-writing purposes, I would divide museums into 2 very rough groups: large national or city museums that Have Money (think the Smithsonian or British Museums, or the Chicago Field Museum or the Royal Armouries Museum in Leeds); and smaller local museums. These could be local industry and culture/history-of-our town museums, historic houses, or really niche subject museums run by One Person With A Passion.
Big national museums have a fuckton of staff and money (museums can never have enough money. But these places are very well-off compared to somewhere small that might always be hustling and writing grant applications). If you work here you’re likely to have a specific role in a particular department, and you probably won’t do much outside this role (ex., if you work in collections management, you probably won’t also design exhibits)
The smaller the museum, the more varied your workload will be/the more likely you are to be doing a little bit of everything. You’re probably organizing collections storage, manning the front desk, and desperately running fundraising efforts, all at once.
To this end, smaller museums are more likely to be closed one or two days a week- you’ll be there, probably cleaning displays or managing storage, but visitors won’t be.
A lot of (most?) universities also have museums, so a college town setting is also doable. But the same big vs small museum disparity is still possible! At Penn State University, for example, the Palmer Art Museum is its own (recently redone iirc) building in the center of campus with a lovely plaza out front, while the Matson Museum of Anthropology is uhhhhh a couple classrooms in the Anthropology Department (which they’re currently rebuilding tbf, so we’ll see what they’ve done with it in 2025).
Types of Jobs
Curator
The one museum job that everyone can name. Nominally the person in charge. Probably laments that their job is way more admin than fun hands-on stuff now.
Actually this is the role I have the least knowledge of, but I think that’s partially because this job might vary the most from place to place? Structural organization can vary a lot between institutions, but I think the higher up you get in any field, the more your job tends to consist of meetings/overseeing, designating, and ~liaising~
A list of things a curator might do:
Planning or approving events and fundraisers, schmoozing with donors and members at said events, approving or designing a schedule of exhibits, publish outreach/advertising or research materials, oversee hiring, approve new object acquisitions (or de-acquisitions), generally make sure that the museum is working within the scope of its mission and if necessary, change or refine their mission
The curator might not necessarily control a museum’s funds; in this case they’ll liaise with the people who do, likely a Board of Executives or Board of Trustees. Once they get the money from these people, though, they could potentially redistribute it as they see fit.
If you work in a fuckoff museum like the BM, you could also be the curator of a specific department, arranged by overarching subject, geographic area, time period, or even object type (eg Curator of Archaeobotany, Curator of Korean Collections, curator of coins from the medieval period). These categories can be more or less specific depending on what kind of holdings your museum has. I think these types of curators would still be able to do interesting things, as they aren’t the ones who Oversee The Whole Place.
You can also be an assistant or associate curator, like being an assistant manager.
Education/Engagement
These are the people who design fun extra activities (esp for kids) in the galleries or relevant events/workshops/lectures the public can attend. They might be called Engagement/Education Officer or Events Manager or anything similar
Again, the bigger the museum you work at, the more specific your role is likely to be. You might focus on web content/outreach and social media, manage the ‘friends/members of the museum’ program, or engage with shareholders, etc
Or you might do things like develop content and events to engage adult audiences. Workshops or lectures connected to new exhibits, after-hours visits. These people are also probably the ones with an eye on accessibility- you’ve probably seen advertisements for museums’ early or late hours for older visitors, or ‘quiet hours’ for people who might be overstimulated by normal museum hubbub, or tactile workshops designed for visually impaired folks.
I think most places would try to have someone specific for kids activities at the very least. They’ll be designing little activities or dress-up stations for the galleries, kiddie mascots or scavenger hunt trail kind of things, as well as, potentially, activities for any digital elements in the museum. They probably also coordinate school visits and act as a tour guide for classes, and will lead the kids in specific workshops or lessons in classrooms attached to the museum.
As a note on technology- some people would probably say that integrating digital elements into exhibits is the ~next big thing~, that museums have to get with the times in this regard, but opinions vary. Big science and technology museums are the most likely to have the most digital and techy elements in their exhibits, so if this is your setting, your character could also be a generic “tech person”. I would go so far as to say the smaller/more local the museum, the less technology you’re likely to have, but smaller museums are able to get grants, some of them potentially for specifically this type of thing, so it’s totally possibly that they have a few tablets with integrated activities, or some other Digital/Screen Thing.
Engagement Officers are probably the most likely people to be drafted for out-of-hours events, so that’s a potentially fun thing for your character to do. Some museums, particularly bigger ones, have event spaces attached that anybody can rent out, for weddings, galas, markets, etc, so they might also take care of these bookings as well.
Exhibit Design
This role has a lot of nebulous terms: exhibit coordinator, design constructor, exhibit programmer- but these are the people who design the exhibits. They’ll come up with a theme or narrative, a design scheme, choose the objects, write the text. They’ll probably come up with some marketing material as well, that matches the design scheme, or they’ll liaise with the marketing people who will.
These people might not be as familiar with the collections as the collections management folk (below), depending on how strictly divided your roles are, so they’ll likely consult with the collections people on choosing objects for a particular exhibit or theme (they say that good exhibit design builds an exhibit from the objects up, but I digress).
These people will also direct and participate in the install and deinstall (the actual terms) of exhibits- putting the objects on the right plinths/stands and arranging everything just so in the cases. Genuinely there’s a lot of psychology behind exhibit design- colors, lighting, the way you might design an exhibit to be navigated vs the path people will actually take through the gallery, people’s sight lines and where their eyes go first, how the display of any given object affects people’s perception of the importance of that object. Fascinating stuff, many books on the subject.
There are also a lot of accessibility concerns to be considered here- how bright is the gallery, how large is your display text, at what height is the central eyeline of your cases?
Museums often loan objects to and from each other’s collections, so if you’re building an exhibit and you’d really like to include X type of object but your museum doesn’t have any, you can borrow some from another museum (this isn’t necessarily a guarantee- museums are allowed to say no to these requests, but I think manners would dictate that they should have a good reason)
Museums sometimes tour whole exhibitions as well- the objects, the text placards, maybe even the stands for super special or fragile items- and exhibit coordinator people are the ones who would handle those arrangements.
Potentially good opportunities for angst stories here- wow things come to life at your museum, you fall in love with a statue but oh no it’s only at your museum for three months
Collections Care
People who work in Collections Management have the most direct contact with the museum objects themselves. You probably work here if you prefer objects to people. When a museum gets new material, these are the people involved. They might not always initiate acquisitions, and the final approval is probably down to the relevant curator, but 98% of the time they’d be consulted (I hope).
A mind-boggling statistic is that most museums only have like 10% of their collections on display at any given time. Yeah. Forreal lol. But collections folk will know where the other 90% is and what’s in it (particularly the longer they’ve been there).
There’s usually a head Collections Manager. Other workers might be a Collection Assistant/Associate, Collections Officer (we like calling people Officers for some reason), Registrar, or some variant of these depending on the specific flavor of your duties.
Main job duties can be divided amongst documentation and database work, organization and storage of objects, and lite conservation. Just how much/how technical the conservation work depends on your own training, but also on the size/funding of your museum. The more money, the more likely your museum is to have its own lab with people specifically trained as conservators. More on them later.
Here’s what happens when a museum gets new stuff!:
Ideally, it goes to a ‘quarantine zone’ first. This is a separate space or room where the objects can relax for a few weeks to a few months (ultimate best practice is actually a year, but, you know. that’s a long time) to ensure that they’re not harboring anything icky (bugs, mold, etc) that will infect the rest of the collections. It’s ideally super-sealed and climate-controlled, but the primary feature should be that it’s away from the main collections store.
Collections folk do the paperwork. They’ll give each individual object a unique number (following their preexisting system that will allow it to be identified distinct from all the other objects in the collection). They’ll create a ‘collections record’ for the object- documentation containing any and all information about the object. This includes the accession paperwork (everything that says ‘we legally own this now’); provenance info (all previous owners and everywhere else the object has been in its life); measurements and description (in painful detail); and conservation history and concerns (ie ‘there’s a crack in the side so pick up with care’, ‘this was repaired in the 70s so that glue is gonna fall apart any day now’).
(I'll say as a fic writer that this would be an great time to wax poetic over a beautiful statue or painting; you can’t write “This golden crown deserved to be worn by a great king, or maybe by that broody Roman general in the painting in Gallery B” in the collections paperwork, but you can think it.)
For fiction’s sake, your collections records could be either paper or digital, but in an ideal world a museum would have both setups, for security’s sake. So you’d fill out some long forms and/or input all the information to the digital collections management system (‘the CMS’, or referred to by your specific software’s name, as there are many out there). The CMS is not a static archive, but rather a living register that’s updated every time an object is interacted with. The object records also include where an object is at any given time (‘normally in Case E in the Fancypants Gallery, currently in Conservation Lab A for repairs’).
Once the objects are done in quarantine, they’ll go to storage. If they’re being displayed immediately, they’ll probably go to some interim storage space/shelf with other objects for the same exhibit and in that case only get a temporary setting. Every object will get labeled with their object number (directly on them, with a special pen that’s safe for this. Or if it’s really tiny, like a coin or jewelry, then their own tiny box will get the label). Small or fragile items, or items grouped together, will go in their own boxes (made of acid- and lignin-free cardboard or polyethylene plastic, like Rubbermaid totes; lined with polyethylene foam and then acid-free tissue paper). Stable ceramic vessels might sit directly on lined shelving, particularly if they’re very large or heavy, like many stone objects.
Listen, every type of object has a particular way(s) of storing that’s best for them, you’re gonna have to look that up yourself or consult someone if you need that level of detail
Ideally, before being stored away, objects are also photographed. This could be part of the Collection Officer’s duty, and/or your museum could have a photographer on staff. (say it with me:) This is more likely if your museum is really huge and/or has a backlog of unphotographed collections and has hired someone specifically, even if temporarily, to improve its collections documentation.
I would say a collections person, or anyone with a museum studies degree, should have some minimum amount of conservation knowledge that includes basic storage standards for different object materials, how to spot potential preservation problems (like if your bronze axe head is actively oxidizing or if that green spot looks the same as it always has since starting and pausing decaying), and maybe how to give objects a basic clean or deal with certain types of problems. But the nitty-gritty science is more the realm of Conservators, someone with a degree that ends in -Sci or who’s done some other certification course.
The general collections store should always be dark, slightly too cool for prolonged human comfort, and labeled to high heaven. Objects will most likely be grouped by material- ceramics/pottery, metals, precious metals and stones (jewelry or beads), stone, glass, wood, bone/ivory/other organic material like feathers or teeth or anything that can be decorative, textiles, paintings. A museum often has some paper material/documents, usually part of or related to a group of objects they acquired, but generally paper and photographic material is the realm of archives and archivists. Yet again, the bigger/more well-funded the museum, the more likely it to have a separate archive department, so your character could also work as an archivist in a museum.
Another thing the collections care folk probably do is ship objects. Remember how I said that museums loan objects and exhibitions to each other? The stuff’s gotta travel somehow! If things are being shipped internationally, they’ll go in big wooden crates, with specifically dimensioned partitions inside. Then it will be lined with our favorite foam and tissue paper, cut so the objects sit snugly inside. I haven’t personally worked anywhere with a possibility of local shipments, so I can’t say where the threshold might be as to when a museum would just pay an employee to drive the objects over vs ship them with a shipping company. But the preparations would be similar, minus the big wooden crate but with extra-careful packing (and paperwork and insurance etc)
Conservation
Conservators are the people who work in labs with fancy equipment. Not every museum will have a formal conservator or a lab of any kind; sometimes the collections care person fills this role, or if something urgently needs care beyond the abilities of the museum’s equipment, they might send it away to a lab elsewhere, the same way you can send your old VHS home videos to a professional archive to be digitized.
If an object is actively deteriorating in a way that could harm itself or other objects (as opposed to like, at risk of fading bc the lighting is wrong, which is a straightforward fix related to the environment), that’s when a conservator would intervene.
Some methods/machinery by which you can analyze objects:
Ultraviolet (UV) and infrared (IR) light - Different materials absorb and react to light differently, which you can use to identify them. Useful for seeing things like the different layers of paintings
Stereo-microscopy (microscopes, of varying strengths)
At magnifications of x5-x100 you can see things like tool marks from an object’s manufacture, traces from wear, deposits, and coatings
At x50-x500, with a thin sliver of a sample, you can see (and hopefully identify) fibers, layers, particles, metallographic structures
You can get information from objects without taking samples, but samples are usually worth the information.
energy dispersive x-ray fluorescence spectrometry (EDXRF) - EDXRF allows you to identify the elemental composition of the surface layer of an object. So it might tell you what a tool is made of, and also the composition of the objects it was used on, if they left traces
scanning electron microscopy (SEM) - an SEM uses a focused beam of electrons to produce a magnified, high-resolution image of the surface of an object
X-radiography, both film and digital - X-rayy are beneficial for objects that might be covered by dirt or corrosion and can show you details of an object’s construction or hidden structural weaknesses
I’m not a conservator, so if you want more hard science-based info, ask one of them lol
Listen to me. If you take nothing else away from this post, let it be this:
Once an object is in a museum, it is never seeing natural daylight again. Sunlight is the ultimate enemy of every object’s lifespan. If you need to see an object in the sun or moon light for ~magical spell reasons~, you will straight up be stealing that object to smuggle it outside.
Okay. That being said, you do hear (and could probably google) stories about museum employees stealing things from their museums on purpose to prove a point about security or insurance to their higher-ups, so like. Depending on your type of museum, it might not be impossible to steal from lmao. (Don’t tell anyone I said that.)
Possibly the most useful advice for you to keep in mind when writing your conservator or collections care characters would be that touching objects hurts them. It might not hurt them now, it might not even hurt them in ten years, but every time you handle an object, there’s a risk that you’ll damage it. Not on purpose, obviously, but to err is human. The simplest, most effective advice my conservation professor ever gave us was “don’t handle an object if you don’t have to.” That means don’t move an object without a plan and a place to put it, first examination should always be visual, not tactile, etc. Unfortunately, that means that your character cannot walk around lovingly handling and caressing their favorite objects (unless this is a Night at the Museum situation where the objects are caressing them back, ykwim)
Museum Technician
These people probably have a lot of different names, but basically, technicians are the background muscle of the museum. They do the technical construction of bigger pieces of exhibition material, up to and including the exhibition cases themselves.
So they wouldn’t deal with the small mount that the object rests on, but they might build the big plinth that the mount sits on. They’ll help move things around the building, particularly big heavy things, hang big framed works, assist with exhibit installs, and generally do most things which might involve power tools/equipment or heavy lifting
I worked in a big museum that hired a third party company to supply their technicians; I interviewed at another place that hired their own. If you’re a small museum, you might just have a freelance person that comes in once or twice a week to help move things.
Other
Other miscellaneous roles one could have in a museum: researcher (for exhibits and/or collections), gift shop or cafe worker, security guard, room attendant, translator, archaeologist, consultant
Honestly, TL;DR? Just have your character be a consultant of some kind. “Oh no, I don’t work here, I’m Y’s friend. They called me in to provide some expertise on X subject that they’re doing an exhibit on.” This could work for literally any subject- history/archaeology/anthropology, art, transportation, science and technology, anything you might find pictures of in an archive, idk. This could get you into an office or meeting room of some kind in the ‘employee only’ space of the museum, or potentially all the way into the collections store if you’re giving them information they were missing about some objects. Otherwise you’d probably (hopefully) need a key or some other kind of security clearance to get into the collections store.
Whew, that was a ride, huh? I hope this guide was useful to someone! I’m always open to answering questions if you think I forgot something or if anyone wants more details <3
#hopefully this is useful to people as Gladiator II comes out <3#i dont really know how to tag this lol#museums#fic advice#writing advice#reference#writing resources
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I think a prerequisite to understanding Durge and Gortash is understanding the movie Midsommar and its ending. Or rather, how people get lured into cults. It's probably weird to some, but people do incredibly fucked up shit as long as they're lonely enough. As long as they are starved of enough affection.
These guys were completely isolated. One murdered everyone they ever knew without meaning to, only to be snatched up by the person that would manipulate them, and the other one was rejected and discarded by everyone they loved before his brain could even develop properly. They were alone. The entire fucking world rejected them. Nobody batted an eye when they were suffering far beyond what anyone should have to go through. Everyone that mattered to them disappeared in the blink of an eye. At least Gortash certainly spent years like that, for Durge it's implied but tbf the initial event alone would've been traumatic enough.
And then, eventually, when they were at complete rock bottom, after suffering so much, so long, someone came along and offered them acceptance. Offered them affection, offered them the chance to belong somewhere. To have a place to be, a role to play. To be someone. To find people with the same mindset. To find people to admire and to be admired by. They were offered an escape from the overwhelming loneliness and grief. They were offered to be accepted for once.
People will ruin themselves to fit in or to gain the love of another. And they did just that. They blindly ran into the knife because they were promised to belong for once. Because of the simple promise they wouldn't be rejected.
It doesn't rectify what they did, but gods is it understandable that they did what they did. People have done worse for less. They are vile. They're monsters. They're horrible beings. But they were conditioned into it. They were manipulated to such a frightening degree that they willingly chose to follow masters who would torment them even after death, knowing what they were getting into, but still choosing it just to escape the fucking loneliness. They gave themselves up just to belong. They certainly are to blame, but so are the people who's sins they've inherited.
And just to be clear, that's also the major difference between Karlach and Gortash. Karlach initially grew up being somewhere, being accepted, being loved. Yes, she, too, was betrayed and sold, but she was an adult when it happened. She knew love. She knew what it was like. She could rely on that glimmer of a hope that the world didn't outright despise her. Gortash didn't. He was sold as a fucking child. He never knew. He didn't have the resources. He was just fucking desperate and already broken and crushed in ways you could never break Karlach. She had loving parents. Gortash's mother wished she would've killed him before he was even born. Karlach was loved once, Gortash has ever since been told the world would've been a better place if he simply didn't exist.
Also, congratulations, this makes durgetash so much more painful to think about. Cuz they were willing to reject whatever helped them survive for the affection of one another.
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