#tbd probably idk
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#like ive lived that life ivehad friends drop me for no reason or over misunderstanding snd no colmunictation and like#it fucking hurts it hurts so bad i was depressed and hurting and it was genuinely the wordr period my life and i would give anything to go#back if it meant i had them agaib and like im seeing dream so desperate for q to jutst talk to him and like im sobbing cehing in my room bc#I know what that feels like and he dodsnt deserve any of it and evwryone else wants to stab and kill and maim and i just want to cry for#days loke fucking sob and tell dream that it's all gonna be ok like im so ssd foe him#anyway needed to get rhat off mt chest i guess im totally fine#tbd probably idk
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i need to [remembers suicide jokes negatively impact my mental health & upset my loved ones] join a monastery
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Davrin 5 minutes before disaster (having a certain conversation with Lucanis)
#this is bad im sorry lmao#dragon age#veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard#tbd probably#daft wee posts#datv#davg#pff idk im so bored at work ngl#davrin#lucanis dellamorte
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outside of the obvious issues with fanfiction breaching containment, do people not feel shame and embarrassment these days?😭 like when i was younger and in other fandoms, i was mortified by the thought of my friends finding out what my interests were or that i read fanfics like there was no way i'd be shoving it in the faces of the actual people being wrote about
#tbd maybe idk#re: the ao3 comment on that rbr tiktok vid btw#this probably doesn't even make sense but still#this is why u get a close circle of friends with the same interests so u can keep it in a gc rather than saying it everywhere LMAO
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The sad part about not being in contact with the ex-who-was-your-best-friend archetype of lesbian relationships is when shit happens that no one else would care about. The lesbian couple living upstairs with the same first name(!) got engaged. They changed the shape of the scones you like at the farmers market. I gave the cat a slice of peach and she rolled around on it in ecstasy.
#who else is gonna care about the shape of the Bread Alone lemon currant scones :/#the reality is that actually a lot of people probably care but idk them so#Egg talks#tbd
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Heyyyyy.... Anyone ask for an AU with a Ruin and Eclipse relationship?
No?
Oh.
.....
...Well, I don't know where else to put these. So you're gonna have it anyway.
#inky'sart#this takes place pre dimensional wipe - and Ruin's cured personality is their real personality#d.t.e.au#double trouble eclipse AU#sams au#laes au#tlaes AU#sams ruin#tsams au#tsams ruin#sams eclipse#tsams eclipse#ruin sams#ruin tsams#eclipse sams#eclipse tsams#eclipse sun and moon show#sun and moon show eclipse#ruin sun and moon show#sun and moon show ruin#sams#tsams#eclipse x ruin#<- probably#idk despite the fact that it's implied in some of the pictures I'm still not sure if it'll be part of the AU#so it's tbd i suppose
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When you kinda wanna ask what you did to upset someone but also bothering them when they clearly don't want anything to do with you atm feels pushy OTL
#av speaks#like i have no earthly idea what i did genuinely#one day things were great and then i woke up the next day and they weren't?#and they clearly want space from me so im like#im not going to infringe on that by bothering#its just weird and upsetting to see someone clearly like#suddenly drop you like a hot stone#when nothing else seems to have changed#idk#tbd probably im just whining
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Photos from a mountain I'm attempting on Saturday. Maybe it's the anxiety brain or maybe I'm legit concerned about dying :|
#i didn't worry this much when i didn't have an elderly cat that i've sworn to care for to the end of her days#hiking#scrambling#or: terrible hobbies for ppl with mental health problems but oops they also give me a purpose so idk man#personal#tbd probably#BAD FEEL#i promised bushra a ride though and she doesn't have a car#my therapist would be kicking my ass rn in terms of the number of boundaries i'm throwing out the window this weekend
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I always feel like I have to put out this obligatory post because I tend to worry people are like, "why is shi not following me over here? :^ (" whenever I'm on another blog and it's found. The answer is because I'm a weenie and I get anxious following people first / prefer people to follow me first as a result. Unless you're like the 10 people I've known for 34553535 yrs, chances are I will not follow you even if we've been interacting. A link is put up, and then I just let people decide from there. I always worry that I'm being followed back because people don't want to hurt my feelings or something (you won't). 😭
#DSFDDSFS idk how you people find me on this vast ocean#but if you DO find one of my two other blogs and wonder why I'm not following you on x blog#this is why#I'll probably do a thing where I put my other blogs in my rules one day#and leave that to the masses to decide#or maybe I'll actually have a pinned.................one day#;ooc jabber#;tbd
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angsty thoughts for the morning
911 constantly puts characters through the ringer and they still always come back to do the job that they love, the job that they're meant to do, born to do
and it makes sense that the main characters always come back, it's a procedural
but it would be interesting if a character just couldn't bounce back? maybe not with a main character but with a recurring one
like what is life like for a firefighter after they can no longer do the job that they dedicated their life to?
#we saw glimpses of it of course#especially with Eddie#but they always come back ya know?#like it would be a good storyline for Bobby#but hes already coming back????#it would be good for Tommy too#for plot because I can see the job being like?#something he expected to die in#it feels like an 8b or s9 story but idk#i know fic writers probably touched that#tbd
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Fuck it, STARTER CALL.
#i hATE starter calls because i got no ideas i got no thoughts brain empty!!!#tbd#these are probably going to be silly and unhinged and chill#if you want big boy serious stuff i fear u will have to take on the arduous task of plotting with me#these are gonna be done either after work tomorrow or sometime like....idk Sat. night#ok ok gn o/
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you want to know how crazy i got during drexit i literally deleted my twitch account bc i for some reason decided that unfollowing wasnt enough so yeah now i use a new account and my sapnap channel points are so mournfully low it kills me. smile
#i just collected a green box for the first timein a while bc i usually forget to do it but now yk im not listening to stream im just watchin#LIKE I HAVE LESS THAN 4K FOR HIM OHHHH MY GOD 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#i couldve been an insane drexiter guys thankfully i was pulled back from the brink and im here now but like . i got rid of all my photos i#got rid of twitch i almost deactivated my public twt and tumblr like it was so so bad#tbd probably idk
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#this is so pathetic so it goes in the tags#but sometimes i think of me when i was like 9 and i always thought i would have boyfriend in hs and it probably would be easy to get#and now im almost 21 never had a partner and never had someone interested in me like at all (well besides that anon ly anon)#idk i know i dont need to measure myself in how others see me but its so difficult when no one ever showed interest#like my friends upload stories on ig and they get likes and replies#i upload one and it's crickets in the best day#someone unfollows me in the worst days#idk idk im just so hopeless ab it#tbd
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I don't go here but regarding james from silent hill 2; he is neither good nor evil......what he did was abhorrable for sure but I can't believe that people are missing the nuance of his situation..
Taking care of a terminally ill person is not taxing just for the person suffering from the disease it is literally back breaking for the caregiver as well. It is realistic for terminally ill patients to get violent or say mean things because they're obviously under a lot of duress, they're both in pain and they're trying to come to terms with their own mortality. It's precisely why a lot of people hire end-of-life help, it's a very very emotionally challenging period. James clearly loved his wife and without wanting to sound like I'm excusing straight up murder, you can still sympathize with him and surely understand why he did what he did.
#why is this website obsessed with this kind of absolute morality that applies to everything and everyone#it's an oxymoron in and of itself#mary probably hated herself bc the illness took away her looks and vitality and it'd make sense for her to become aggressive towards others#imagine not recognizing yourself in the mirror....it messes with your psyche#and james hated himself for abandoning ship quote unquote when mary needed him most and for killing her#tbd#idk let's use our thinking caps for once
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lotta sensory overwhelm & just. too much going on today so i think i'm gonna be quietly working on things over here tonight.
#less threads over there more blog tidying i can do if writing doesn't work and just.#idk i'm still fixated on my multi bc New Things i think#probably slow if not silent in dms too just so my brain doesn't have to be all over the place akjhdsd#i have already broken down crying once lmao i'm so just mentally DONE rn#love y'all ♡♡♡ tysm for ur endless patience with me i am so undeserving ;A;#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don't @ me.#tbd.
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Mood: I feel like indulging in Mileven in a way that I think neither Bylers nor Milevens will understand/appreciate.
(I'm so past the point of having any doubt about Byler being endgame that I feel safe to enjoy some Mileven content in a non-canon ship way, since I've always been a multi-shipper at heart. Their past relationship had its moments and I wanna appreciate what they meant to each other even if they don't end up together.)
#like im way too pro-byler to be accepted by milevens since im a byler endgame truther#but even admitting that i enjoy any part of mileven's relationship is basically heretical to bylers esp gay mike truthers#& i do like the gay mike interpretation as well it just hasnt been confirmed yet so can i still have a little bi mike & mileven as a treat#obviously if it turns out mike is gay i wont see mileven romantically at all anymore#and it's not that i think they're a healthy great relationship in the first place but like. idk i can enjoy pretty gifsets of them#i just dont want all my mutuals to be like “wtf is this” since ive never posted mileven even tho i made a disclaimer early on that#i dont hate the ship and might post content of them...i just never did cause i was too into byler lmao#but now im sick of the debunking and dunking idk idk!#byler is endgame but anyway#tbd#probably#IS THIS A SAFE SPACE??? IS THIS A SAFE SPACE TO SAY WHAT I ACTUALLY THINK
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