#im just feeling kinda lonely it happens on the holidays

[reginamillls]

not feeling very good, cookies not turning out, I'm tired and idk maybe I shouldn't have taken off and gone to work today

[pianostarinwonderland]

Skully's Inspirations

sorry guys my brain's latched onto this event and now i can't stop writing my thoughts hhrhhrhjkhhrhkjrhkjthr

tbh im writing this to the tweets i've seen saying that skully isn't that similar to jack because at first i was like nodding along, like yea in the event, jack and skully have views that are clashing, which makes skully go mad. but then i watched nightmare before christmas AND IM CRYING Y'ALL. I KINDA SEE THE POINT OF SOME TWEETS, ESP WHEN THEY WERE ONLY WHEN EP2 WAS OUT. BUT EVEN THEN. I WOULD LIKE TO PLACE DOWN THE ARGUMENT THAT SKULLY IS TWISTED FROM JACK SKELLINGTON THE SIMILARITIES ARE T H E R E E EE EEEE

But here's the fun part about Skully. The past Halloween boys, Rollo and Fellow+Gidel, are written in such a way that most of their basis comes from their respective villains. Yes, they have some qualities of their heroes (i.e. Rollo is the one who diligently cares for the bell tower, which is Quasimodo's role), but the fact that they're twisted from one character is pretty clear.

Skully, however, is different. The way he's written is pretty similar to the NRC cast, in that he has a mix of different inspirations. While he's clearly twisted from Jack Skellington, he has a mix of the other characters, particularly our heroes and villains, and I'll discuss them in the post below.

On Jack Skellington: It's important to distinguish that for this part, I am referring to Skellington in the movie, not in the event story. And that's the Jack that Skully is very much twisted from.

For one, they are lonely and misunderstood. Jack's loneliness is different from Skully's in that he is well-loved for being the Pumpkin King. But that's the thing, it's because people love what he does that Jack can't confide in anybody that he's tired of it. And that isolates him, as we see in the way he sings alone (or so he thought) in the hill about his problems. Skully, meanwhile, seems to be alone in all senses of the word—his schoolmates don't understand him, and based on the fact that he's grown up spending Halloween alone, he may also be lonely in his hometown.

Skully's being misunderstood is pretty obvious: everyone doesn't understand or agree with his way of celebrating Halloween. But Jack too was misunderstood, particularly when he was sharing with the townspeople about Christmas. When he was trying to convey the joys of Christmas, people asked about how scary it was. And when Jack tried to dissuade the idea of fear, they didn't understand it, and some started to exclaim their disappointment. So Skully had to convey Christmas in the way that they all understood it, even if it wasn't what the holiday is actually about, which frustrated him. Hell, that exact scene mirrors the scene where Skully shared his proposal for Halloween, and the NRC students objected to it. Both characters were passionate about a particular holiday and wanted to share it with others, but were met with misunderstandings. Their methods at convincing the crowd are different, however. Jack appealed to their biases, while Skully disagreed with them.

Both of them persisted in celebrating a holiday to the point of taking over. Skully pushes to celebrate Halloween his way instead of the more festive manner that NRC presented to the point of putting Jack to sleep and is now in the process of taking over the celebrations. Jack Skellington meanwhile persisted in celebrating Christmas to the point of taking it over and kidnapping Santa Claus.

Skully and Jack tend to have an everything is fine attitude in front of others. They'll smile and go with what is happening, but then they'll sigh when they feel that they can. Skully is just more open about his real feelings than Jack is. And on a flipside, Skully has a bit more support from the NRC cast than Jack had in the movie.

On Sally: Funnily enough, Skully has some basis on Sally's character, particularly about stopping Jack from celebrating Christmas. Given that the NRC Halloween is very festive, it can be seen as the 'Christmas' in this story which Skully wants to stop Jack from doing. Aside from that, there's also a lot of notable things.

His putting Jack to sleep is also something that both movie and event Sally do to Dr. Finklestein to prevent him from interfering.

In some way, Skully also has Sally's stubbornness, though taken to a higher extreme. Sally is very firm on her beliefs and would argue with Dr. Finklestein, which causes tensions with the two of them, and she doesn't really leave room for compromise. Skully is also very firm about his ideals and beliefs, and as for now, he doesn't compromise. Both of them also act on their beliefs when they feel strongly about it.

It is well worth noting that Sally has stitches. Skully, whose outfit represents Jack's, has stitches where Jack does not. One could take it too as Skully having to stitch an outfit to resemble his idol. However, it may be a hint to Skully's development in the next two episodes. Sally stitches herself up in the movie when she is broken into parts. Skully may have an emotional representation of this.

a bit unrelated but at this moment in time, i realize that the OB phantoms have stitches on them, and idk what those implications are but twst im scared

I'll call it right now: I think Skully's backstory will be inspired by Sally's and Oogie's (to be discussed in the next part). Skully would have a parent or guardian that is like Dr. Finkelstein to Sally: someone who keeps him under control and would lock him in his room if he misbehaves. Possibly Skully would have a stubbornness that lets him figure out how to leave, if that is the case. A Finkelstein inspiration might actually work though

On Oogie: I give credit to Chrome for making arguments on their thread for Skully being twisted from Oogie. Much of the basis for Skully being twisted from Oogie is his stitches and his taking over Halloweentown in the side games! Furthermore, Skully is employing the help of Lock, Shock, and Barrel, who have mentioned 'the boss' in Episode 3. So there's a nonzero chance of Oogie showing up later on and possibly helping out Skully in some way. Even if he never shows up, though, Skully does play the role of Oogie in the event.

Like Sally, Oogie is also stitched up, except he's an entire bag full of bugs. In the movie, he is defeated by unraveling his stitches completely. The unraveling to reveal his backstory is probably going to be used for Skully's writing in the next parts (at least, I hope so).

In the side games, Oogie and Jack have a rivalry, and Oogie tries to take over Halloweentown in them. In one game, he also tries taking over the 7 Holidays as well, where he's almost successful, but Jack stops him. Skully's taking over the celebration of Halloween in Halloweentown is at least a little more aligned with Oogie since it's at least the same holiday.

Can't go through this part without bringing up their loneliness. Oogie is isolated from Halloween town and is even locked in the basement. It seems to be the inspiration for Skully celebrating Halloween alone and in a dark room.

Onto the Oogie side of Skully's backstory, I'm thinking that there may be someone in Skully's family or community whom everyone favored, akin to how Jack Skellngton was favored as the Pumpkin King when Oogie's own holiday didn't work out. Maybe they favored that other kid for his magic? Either way, this part is written in consideration of Leona and Jamil being the SSRs for this event, where both of them have suffered from having to deal with someone else being favored (Leona) and/or not being able to show off what you can do because of it (Jamil).

This is more brain worms on my part, but I wonder if Oogie's having torture weapons and bringing Sally and Santa very close to their deaths where they become his soup to eat is where Skully's reflection on death during Halloween comes from. Of course, this reflection is also something traditional, so it could be coincidence.

On Vincent Malloy (from Tim Burton's Vincent): So this is a very interesting suggestion for Skully's inspiration that came up when the event was still at Episode 2. I highly recommend checking out myonmyon's thread for this, and if you have the time, to watch Vincent (it's only 6 minutes long, so it's really not a long watch). It's important to note here too that in the DVD for Nightmare Before Christmas, Vincent was a part of that DVD.

Vincent Malloy has a strong admiration for the horror actor, Vincent Price, and it's so strong that he thinks that he himself is Price and not Malloy. His mother—and everyone else around him—doesn't understand this and urges him to play outside. The film is centered around his delusions of being Vincent Price, from dipping his aunt in wax to his beautiful wife being buried alive, and the lines between reality and fantasy end up blurring.

The way Vincent could not distinguish fantasy and reality is somehow similar to Skully, who struggles to accept that Jack Skellington isn't the idol he admired and isn't the guy who understands his ideas of Halloween.

This part may add to the theory that Skully established the first modern Halloween: Vincent Malloy is a character that let Burton represent himself on screen. Vincent the film is a benchmark in his career, as it was where he learned to combine 2D and 3D art styles, which he ends up using for Nightmare Before Christmas. And this led him to success, led him to share his vision to everyone in the world. Hence, Skully's story could be similar in that he gets to share his vision of Halloween one day, and possibly establish the first modern Halloween.

As a final note, Skully’s name is really interesting because it’s pretty clear it’s based on Skelli-ngton, but Skully and Sally both rhyme and end very similarly in their JP names (スカリー and サリー) (you can also say their EN names rhyme but Skully is still technically not official romanization). And crediting a friend for pointing this out, Skully (スカリー) also rhymes with Oogie (ウギ―ブギー), and we know how much Nightmare Before Christmas heavily uses rhymes.

[pyramid-of-starrs]

Don't be Mean to Sannie

Pt 2 of stay with me

Pairing: Clingy San x Black/Poc Fem reader

Genre: Fluffy, angst, Smut

Warnings: Jealousy, clingy boyfriend, cheating, kinda?, cursing, arguing, possessiveness, San is kinda Toxic idk lol, mentions of other idols (Wooyoung, Hyunjin and Ryujin)

Smut warning: Kissing, licking, rubbing, public sexual acts, oral sex (F and M receiving), mentions of asshole??, Hard sex, breeding (tbh it was bound to happen I love breeding lol), mentions of pregnancy, Switch San, Switch reader, uh- if im missing something lemme know

A/N: Pt 2 is finally here lol, San has been driving me fucking mad with his selfies they look so fucking good fuck.

Bad smut under the cut

Minors dni

It was around 4pm Friday afternoon, you had the day off today due to some random holiday and you were determined to go out with your friends this time because your besties laid into you last time about ditching them. Not this time, you needed to go out and experience life again, and you were going to, but the only issue? The blood sucking leech that was laying on your bed wet and covered in a towel from the waist down. San was off as well so he came over early this morning to bring you breakfast and he stayed the entire day, you let him know your plans and he agreed to back off, you got into the shower, and he of course started to feel lonely and go in with you. You were still on track to go out despite him fucking you in the shower until the water turned cold, even then when you got out, he felt the need to fuck you on top of the bathroom counter, you felt tired but grabbed a red bull from the kitchen to keep yourself awake. You got dressed in plain grey jogging pants with a cropped jacket to match it, you dried your hair and kept put on your favorite Von Dutch hat (Sans Von Dutch that you stole), and a pair of socks. Then you started to pack up an outfit and your make-up and hair supplies, your plan was simple, the more time you spent around San the more of an opportunity he had to seduce you into staying with him that night.

“Woah, woah where are you going? I thought you were going out tonight?” he said as he leaned up on his elbows.

You continued to gather all the items you needed as you replied. “I am, I’m getting dressed at Erica’s house.”

He tilted his head. “Why? What about our tradition of you letting me watch you get dress?”

“You mean the tradition of you watching me get dressed until you get horny and jealous then fuck me until I’m too tired to leave?” You turned to him and folded your arms.

“Well, yeah? It’s the best part of my Friday night.” He said smiling with his sneaky little grin.

“Well, it’s not the best part of mine, I want to actually go and experience my youth for once San. I can’t keep spending every day and night with you, I’ll go stir crazy.”

“I go stir crazy when I DON’T spend every day and night with you.” He sat all the way up at this point.

“You’ll live, I promise you will, it’s not fair that I can’t see my friends because you want me all to yourself, they want time with me just like you do. I’m sure your friends miss you too.”  You said as you placed your bag next to him on the bed to zip it up.

“I don’t give a damn about that; I only care about you.” He said giving you a duh face.

“That’s not good San, you should care! Even if you don’t I do and so do they. I’m not sure what you’re going to do tonight but I’m going, you should call your friends and see what they are doing. Wooyoung texted me earlier saying he wanted to invite you out anyways.”

“Why are you texting my best friend?” He said with a bit of irritation in his voice.

“First of all, you can’t be clingy AND jealous it’s not good, second of all, we text because you never answer the damn phone when you’re with me.”

“I can be as jealous as I want when my girlfriend looks like you, either way why are you even going out, what does a club have that I don’t? Besides your friends.” He got up to take off his towel and start getting dressed.

You rolled your eyes and shook your head “Don’t do that, don’t make this something it’s not.”

“I’m not making it anything, I’m just saying why are you getting all dressed to go to some sweaty club and be drooled over by people when you could be home with me getting drooled over.” He said as he looked at you while he buttoned his pants, he hadn’t put on a shirt yet because he knew you had a weakness for his broad shoulders and chiseled abs, even now he was still trying to seduce you.

“Maybe because there is more to life than sitting in my boyfriends face all damn day, I really shouldn’t have to explain this to you.” You had a bit of an attitude in your voice that he immediately picked up on.

“Don’t get an attitude with me.” He said with a serious look.

“I can get whatever I want with you.” You rolled your neck and bit and folded your arms, you shot daggers directly at him and he did the same.

“So, you’re really starting an argument because I want to spend time with you?”

 “You know damn well it’s not about that.”

“Then please tell me what’s it about?”

“It’s about the fact that you are suffocating me, all I want is a day out with my friends and you can’t put aside your weird ass insecurities to let me enjoy my night if it’s not spent with you. You always manipulate me into staying with you everyday and night and the shit is getting old as hell, I had a life before you, and I damn sure am going to have one with or without you.” You said, anger filling your voice.

“What do you mean without me?”

“Exactly what I just said, if I can’t go out and enjoy my life without you doing too much then…well...” you paused, trying to avoid saying something you would regret.

“Well what? Say it Y/N, say what the fuck is really on your mind. I get it, I can be clingy, but you knew I was clingy going into this relationship, even when we were talking, I was clingy and told you that. I understand that I can be a lot but don’t sit here and act like I’m oh so manipulative all of a sudden. If you want to go out and get felt up on by some sweaty guy at the club then go do that, but don’t be mad if I go do the same thing.” He put on his shirt and started to gather his items so he could leave as well.

“Fuck you San, you know I’m not going out to be a hoe, but you’re right 2 can play that game, if you wanna go and find another bitch good fucking luck. I hope she deals with all your goofy ass bullshit and when she doesn’t don’t fucking call me.”

“Whatever Y/N” he started to ignore you and walked out the room, you followed behind him.

“Whatever nothin’! If you walk out that door right now, I hope you know I’m going to do exactly what you said and act single as hell tonight.” He froze in front of the door as you stood behind him.

“What the fuck did you say?” he said in a monotoned voice. The air seemed like it got thin, and your heart started to pound, you could feel the anger radiating off of him.

“I-I said if you walk out that door, I’m going to act single as hell tonight.”

He nodded his head and licked his lips; he didn’t say another word just put on his shoes and walked out the door.

“FUCK!” you yelled as you sat down on your couch, this whole situation spiraled so far out of control for no real reason.

…

You decided to not let you and Sans argument ruin your night and still went out with your friends, Ericka got a section so luckily you didn’t have to be bothered. Of course, you wouldn’t want any guys talking to you, you were just saying that for argument sake. You were sitting babysitting your one drink and looking like a sad puppy.

“Come on girl get up and dance, stop being sad I’m sure San will get over it.” Your friend Katrina said as she pulled you out of your seat. You sadly danced along with her as she swayed your body back and forth. You looked off in the distance, all you could think about was-

“San?” you heard Ericka say, Katrina released you from her grasp and everyone stared in one direction, and you looked over to do the same. That’s when you saw it, the worse site ever, your boyfriend with his friends across the club sitting and giggling with a group of women, they were sitting so close, and one even had the audacity to out her hand on his thigh. You started to see red and wanted to march over there but then you felt your friends hand touch your shoulder.

“Don’t do it girl, it’s not worth it.”

She was right, and the best way to get back at him was to get even and even do a bit more.

“You’re right, lets go dance, Fuck him.” You said with a vengeful smile that your friends shared with you.

Your friend group entered the dance floor and started to dance, you attracted a lot of attention and it felt like the entire room was staring.

A group of guys walked up and offered to buy you and your friends a bottle for your section. You all gladly accepted and sat back down to mingle, one of the men specifically came over to talk to you while you were sipping your drink.

“Hello beautiful.” He said flashing a gorgeous smile.

“Hi” you smiled back.

“May I ask your name beautiful?” now that you were looking at the man, he had longer black hair wit a half pulled back ponytail and half down, he was very handsome his self.

“Y/N, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” You reached your hand out to offer him a handshake.

He grabbed your hand and kissed it instead then looked into your eyes.

“Hyunjin, and the pleasure is all mine.”

He was a taller man, maybe an inch or two taller than San and had a slender and long build. He took at seat next to you.

“So, Y/N, are you seeing someone?” he asked, you looked over to the other side of the club and saw San still giggling and laughing with the woman, they seemed to be having a great time, he was giving her all the attention he usually gave you and it burned you up on the inside. You were never the jealous type but to see someone else touching all over what was yours really set a fire inside of you. There wasn’t anything you could do though, but you were single for the night, and you made sure to not let that go to waste.

“No, well not really, he’s an idiot so now I’m here.” A little more honest than you wanted to be but that was your truth.

“Well, if he lets a beautiful woman like you out of his site then you are absolutely right, he is an idiot.”

You giggled at him, you two talked for about 15 minutes, your friends and Hyunjins friends went back to the dance floor while you two hung back. San and the girl he was talking to could also be seen still getting chummy, at this point she was damn near in his lap, as if things couldn’t possibly heat up more you saw her lean into his neck, and it took all the strength in your body not to go drag her off of him.

“You know, if you want, I can help you forget about that guy.” Hyunjin said, you focused back on the conversation.

“Huh, what ?”

“That idiot guy, I can help you forget all about him, a sexy woman like you shouldn’t be stuck feeling lonely and excuse me if I’m overstepping but a body like yours shouldn’t go a day without being taken care of.” He said as he glided his long fingers up your thigh, naturally you would have told him to fuck off at this point, but you were pissed, you were hurt and just wanted to take your mind off of San.

“How so?” you replied in a seductive voice.

He smiled and placed his hand on your other thigh to grip it and pull you closer, he was actually pretty strong for such a smaller man. He placed his hand on the side of your jaw and brought his lips to your ear.

“Let me treat you like how you deserve beautiful; I can take you back to my place and fuck you so good the only thing you would be able to think about is me.” He whispered into the shell of your ear, his smooth voice sent chills down your spine, damn maybe San was right to be worried about the guys in the club.

“And how do I know you can do that?” you gave him a flirty little smile and took your hand and placed it over his crotch , it didn’t take long for you to feel his almost fully erect length, you started to breathe a bit heavier and bit your bottom lip.

“Does that feel like something you need baby?” he said into your ear, he started to drag his soft lips down your neck, you put your neck back a bit to give him more access and closed your eyes. The feeling was new and eased the hurt you were going through, you wanted to focus on the sensation but the only thing on your mind was San, you just wanted him to be touching you like this. You started to imagine it was him starting to slowly kiss down your neck. Imagining it was Sans fingers sliding up your dress and gripping your ass, it was San not Hyunjin telling you “Let me treat you right baby.”

“Y/N!”

You shot your eyes open and jumped a bit. Hyunjin stopped and looked over to who was calling your name, it was your friend Katrina.

“Excuse me, your friends are looking for you sir I think they said they were ready to go.” She said.

He smiled at her.

“Thank you for letting me know, Y/N make sure you use my number, okay?” Hyunjin said as he got up and waved both of you goodbye before he left.

“Girl what the hell was that?” Katrina said replacing Hyunjins place next to you.

“I…I don’t know.”

“Y/N, you need to fix whatever the fuck you got going on with your dude, you can’t be in here letting randoms kiss and touch on you.”

“I know…”

“Well bitch act like it, go to the bathroom and get yourself together we are about to go.”

You nodded your head slowly and go up to walk to the bathroom.

You opted out of going to the large bathroom instead you chose to go into the single unisex bathroom. You walked in and walked up to the sink and looked into the mirror. You stood looking at yourself in silence before tears started to sit at the corner of your eyes. You fought the urge to cry at the downfall of your relationship and just sighed, you hated to admit it, but you just wished you were at home cuddling with San watching TV while he gave you little kisses. A knock interrupted your thoughts.

“Someone’s in here.” You grabbed the towel and started to rub your eyes; you must not have locked the door because you heard the door open while you had your eyes closed to wipe them. The person walked in and walked up behind you.

“Katrina?”

They did respond then pressed their crotch to your butt and hugged you from behind.

“…Hyunjin?” you said as your eyes got wide, and you looked up to the mirror to see who it was.

“Is that what his name was? I’ll remember that when I try to find him to kill him.”

Yeah, that was definitely San.

“What the hell are you doing here?” you said. He chose not to reply, he immediately started to kiss your neck, dropping his weight down on you so you had no choice but to start to bend over the sink, you butt pushing against his crotch even more.

"S-San what are-"

"Shut up."

His hands slid up your thigh and immediately went into your panties, his fingers caressed your fold roughly, you let out small moans while trying to stay quiet.

"So that little bastard out there made your slutty little pussy wet or were you just imagining it was me touching you?"

"San!"

"Answer me!" he yelled and with no warning he drove his two fingers into your hole, and you covered your mouth to keep yourself from being too loud, you used your other hand to grip the side of the sink. He drilled his fingers in and out of you like you weren't in public, San has always been the jealous type so honestly his acts of possessiveness shouldn't come as a shock, he hated when someone touches what’s his.

Let's look at this from San's point of view.

After he left your apartment, he decided to call Wooyoung and take him up on his offer to go out tonight just so he could take his mind off of the fight. Once they were there for 15 minutes San was already over it and ready to get back home and apologize to you so you two could cuddle the night away with his face shoved right between your boobs and your thighs wrapped around his waist. A few girls invited San, Wooyoung and the rest of their friends over to their section and Wooyoung accepted the invite telling San it would be a great distraction. Once in the section San had one drink and a girl sat beside him.

"Can you pour me a drink?" She said smiling at him.

"Sure." San said with an expressionless voice, sure this lady was probably flirting but she wasn't you, so he didn't really care. He poured her a drink and another for himself because alcohol was the only things that would help get him through tonight. San passed the woman the drink and took the other cup for himself.

"Cheers to being young and single?" she said as she held her glass up and waited for San to meet her halfway.

San sighed because the thought of him being single made him cringe but technically you two were being single tonight, so he clinked the woman’s glass, they both tapped their glasses on the table before downing what was in the cup.

"I'm San, it's nice to meet you." He nodded at her.

"Ryujin." she said while putting the cup back down, San decided to pour himself another.

"Woah you're getting fucked up tonight what’s the occasion?" she said as she watched San drink from his cup.

"I got into a fight with my girlfriend." he said then took another drink of his cup.

"Daaaamn and here I was about to flirt with you." she said with a slight giggle.

"I guess you still can because according to her we are "acting single tonight", whatever the fuck that means."

"Oh fuck what did you do? Bitches don't just say that to say it, you had to do something."

San looked over at her and decided to say fuck it and vent to her, he told her about the fight, and she was honestly intrigued.

"Yeah, it's just like I thought, you're the problem." She said as she finished her cup that San poured her while he was talking, meanwhile he was on his 4th and feeling the effects.

"What the fuck how?" he said, genuinely confused.

"Let that girl loose a bit, you can't keep her locked in a cage and get mad when she wants to break out."

San rolled his eyes.

"Lemme see her."

San quickly pulled out his phone to go to  your Instagram, he loved showing you off every chance he got. Ryujin took the phone and scrolled through the various photos you had posted, some of you, your life and of course you and San.

"Oh, wait never mind you're right keep her ass locked up she’s hot asf."

"See!!" he said looking at her with a red face, she laughed and passed the phone back to him, San started to stalk your page as well, he didn't notice Ryujin scoot closer.

"Honestly San, you two make a sexy ass couple so I hope you work it out."

"Thanks, I do too."

She flashed a devious smile leaned into his neck to whisper in his ear.

" Cause honestly I would love to fuck you both." Sans eyes got wide, and he looked up, he was going to respond but that's when he saw you and Hyunjin and he just froze. Ryujin got up and giggled and walked back to her friends. San was stuck watching Hyunjin kiss and rub on you, just like you, San saw red, he was going to kill that man that dared to touch his precious angel. Who did he think he was? He watched the entire moment up until Katrina stopped it and you walked to the bathroom. When he realized where you were going, he let Wooyoung know that he "had to pee" and followed you. Now your here with his two digits being pushed into you erratically.

"You fucking little slut, how dare you let that peasant touch what's mine. I don't give a fuck about what little fight we got into, I don't ever want to see another man’s hands or lips or anything near you. Do you hear me?" he said while his fingers fucked you so deep and fast that you had to fully behind over almost with your head in the sink, you were a moaning mess at this point.

"You can't talk now whore? Okay that's fine." he took his fingers out of your core as it unclenched and clenched around nothing, like it was begging San to enter you again. He squatted down and pushed your dress up to your waist. He immediately shoved his face into your wet pussy and licked a few stripes from your hole to your clit. You yelp at the feeling of his cold tongue on your hot pussy as he ate it from the back. San stuck his tongue in your hole and started to fuck you with his while his big nose little brushed your asshole. You started to pant and whimper trying to keep yourself together.

A sudden knock on the door scared you but San was unmoved, he continued to fuck you with his tongue.

"Y/N you in there sis?" You heard your friend say on the other side of the door.

San gripped the front of your hips and pulled you down on to his face, he didn't give a single fuck if someone caught you two, if anything he would love it, then you couldn't deny who you belonged to.

"Y-yeah, I'll be out soon." you stuttered.

"Oh, okay then I'll wait here for you."

"NO! I mean...no just wa-ahh~ wait for me at the seeeection please."

Your friend raised an eyebrow behind the door.

"Uh- okay girl." you could hear footsteps walking away from the door and your mind focused back on San silk tongue deep inside your walls. Your knees were weak, and your mind was blanking as you gripped both sides of the wet porcelain sink and leaned into it.

"S-San p-please I can't..."

His hands made their home on both your ass cheeks as he spread them apart to bury his face deep in your dripping pussy, you reached your hand back to push him back, yet your efforts were wasted because San didn't budge.

You could feel yourself reaching your peak, your eyes were rolling to the back of your head as you tightly bit your lip to fight back the moans that threatened to fall from your mouth. Just as you started to feel yourself fall apart San pulled back, he silently breathed heavily and stood up not saying a word, you whined from being denied.

"San please- I need to cum please-" you started to beg.

"No, sounds like something a boyfriend would do, you're single remember?" he walked over to the paper towel dispenser and waved his hand to grab a paper towel from the automatic dispenser and wipe your slick from his mouth and chin. You watched him move about in the bathroom with your eyebrows arched and your pussy still pulsing, waiting for someone to finish the job.

"Call the one guy, what was his name again? Hyun-?"

"Fuck you San." you said pulling your panties back up with an aggressive attitude.

"Nope." He said before walking out the door like nothing ever happened.

You exited the bathroom to rejoin your friends and leave the club, the next morning you woke up with a throbbing hangover headache and an empty bed. Usually San would be here, especially on weekends, sleeping under you while you woke up with his strong arms wrapped around you and his plush lips kissing the shell of your ear to wake you up, but not today. You grabbed your phone from your nightstand and see no text from San but one from Hyunjin, guess you must have given him your number last night, when you opened the message, it read:

"Good morning beautiful, would love to take you out to breakfast, or have you for breakfast 😉"

you rolled your eyes, you forgot how much guys sucked, you were so used to being treated with the utmost respect by San that regular men disgusted you. You needed your man back and you needed him back now. Later in that day you decided to put your pride aside after not hearing from San and called him, the phone rang a few times before he answered, his background was noisy, and he was obviously with others.

"Hello?" you said first.

"What's up, I'm busy." He said speaking over the noise.

"I...I wanted to talk to you..." you said softly.

"Talk? What?"

"Can we talk, I wanna talk about what happ-"

"San get off the phone and come back." you could hear a female voice say, it made your stomach drop.

"Listen I gotta go, talk to you when ever bro." he said then silence, he hung up on you and called you bro? This shit was sick, you needed to do something. You texted San asking him to stop by that night if he was free so you could talk, your friends invited you out as well, but you decided to stay in since San texted you back saying he would try to stop by later. Unfortunately, later never came, you waited for hours for him to come by until you passed out curled up in your bed. You woke up feeling sad that you were on the second day without making up with San, this wasn't normal, this wasn't San. Fuck it though! If this was how he was going to act then fine, two can play that game!

And you would be the loser, a fully work week had passed and it was Friday night once again. You and San hadn't spoken since the last text, and you could put your pride aside again to reach out first, but damn was it killing you. You missed him so much and it was driving you crazy, between the overall sadness of him not being around and your horniness. You even decided to say fuck it and text back Hyunjin to pass the time, but no one could compare to San. You laid in your robe, fresh out the shower sprawled out on your bed just staring at the ceiling. Your phone started to ring next to you and you grabbed it to see who it was, your eyes got wide as you saw the 3 lettered name with a purple heart emoji flashed across the screen. You could feel your heart start to beat faster, you breathed in and out a few times before answering.

"What do you need San?" you said trying to play it cool.

"My biker jacket, I left it at your house, and I need it for tonight I'm at your door."

You got somewhat excited but tried to keep up your front.

"You got a key sir."

"I didn't want to just walk into your apartment, plus I don't know where I put it."

"Neither do I." oh but you did but let’s act coy for now.

"Look, are you going to open the door or not?"

"Fine, here I come." you hung up and speedily ran to the door as you pulled your bonnet off and fixed your hair a bit in the mirror by your door, you didn't have time to change but at least your robe was nice and short and showed a good amount of cleavage. you made it to the front door and calmed yourself before you opened it, when you opened it, you saw San standing there in a dark blue jean set with a black tank top.

"I thought you came over for your jacket you look pretty dressed to me."

"It's for tomorrow..." he said slightly annoyed.

"You're going out today and tomorrow?"

"Y/N why does that matter can I come in to look?"

You rolled your eyes and walked back toward your bedroom while San shut the door and started to shut the door behind him.

"Uh uhn, take your shoes off, you know better."

"Are you being serious? I'm only going to be here for a second."

"I don't care you're not about to be walking on my bedroom carpet with shoes on." Yes, it was only a small fluffy area rug but who cares.

He shook his head and went back to the door to remove his shoes and you both walked to the bedroom. You took a seat at your vanity, and he started to look through your closet. You started to brush your hair out to get ready for your night, you were invited out by your friends but since you and San were "single" you wanted to act just as bad as San and Hyunjin invited you over and you accepted. As San was digging through your closet, he noticed you getting ready.

"Plans with your friends tonight?” he said as he continued to look.

"No... someone else." you said as you also continued your task.

"oh... who?" he questioned

"That's not really any of your concern now is it?" you said quickly

"I guess not, must be a date then."

"Maybe."

"Well good for you, hope he isn't clingy and annoying like I was."

"San I never said you were annoying."

"Right, you just treated me like I was."

"Oh my fucking god for someone with so much to say you sure have been ignoring my existence all week." You said as irritation started to leaked into your voice.

"Why would I contact someone that just broke up with me?" He said, knowing it was pressing your buttons.

"I never broke up with you San, you're just over fucking dramatic."

"Sorry I give a fuck about you."

"Whatever San hurry up and find your shit so I can go."

"Well get up and help me since you want me gone so bad."

You rolled your eyes once again and walked over to meet him at the closet and pushed him out the way.

"I put all your stuff in a box move so I can get it."

He moved out your way to sit on the bed and watch you, you stood on your tippy toes to reach to the top of the closet shelf to get the box, San was going to get up to help you instead of watching you struggle but your short silk robe was rising and revealing a bit of the bottom of your ass so he chose to sit back and watch instead.

"Where are you going on your little date?"

"No where, he just invited me to his house to watch movies and hang out."

"Netflix and chill? What is this guy 16?"

"Haha so funny." You said as you finally reached the box and brought it down, you walked over to the bed and placed it down next to him, you were about to walk back over to finish getting ready, but you felt a strong set of hands yank you back by your hips and pull you onto his lap.

"You're really going to go out to get some dick from some random."

You felt your face heat up, you missed the feeling of Sans touch and being able to sit in his lap, but you couldn't fold just yet.

"He's not random, it's the guy I met at the club the other day."

"Oh so you're going to go fuck him while some random movie is playing right?"

"N-no one is fucking me San, and you're one to talk, you had a girl all over you in the club and when I called you, I heard some girl in the background, how do I know you aren't fucking someone?" said while wrapping your arms around his neck and looking into his eyes, your big doe eyes could melt him right now.

"Because no one will ever be you."

"And no one can ever replace you San..."

You two gave each other a longing gaze before you both threw your pride out the window and your lips connected for a slow and passionate kiss, Sans hands still gripping your hips while one of them glided up the side of your body to rub your back and pull you in closer. The kiss progressed and you switched your position to straddle him, his other hand returned to your hips as he began to rock your hip against his crotch, a light moan came out of your mouth and entered his.

"I'm sorry baby, I'm sorry for what I said and saying you're too clingy... this whole week all I wanted was for you to be here." you said as you cupped his sharp jaw.

"I'm sorry too, I need to learn to give you space sometimes." you both smile at each other then he pecked you on your lips one again.

"Well... does this mean we are back together?"

"Boy we never broke up." You said giggling at him.

"The way you were acting in the club I couldn't tell."

"... right... I'm sorry about that."

"It's okay Angel, but you gotta make it up to me now."

"And how would you like me to do that?"

"I don't know, he's been so lonely without you keeping him warm, so how about you say sorry to him too."

You already knew exactly who "He" was, you got off the bed and sunk down to your knees in front of San, he laid back while sitting up using his elbows and giving you full control. You unbuttoned his jeans to and shimmed them down his hips to the middle of his thigh, Sans dick was already so hard that you could see the print of if through his boxers. You cupped his length and started to rub it up and down then looked up at him with a lustful gaze.

"Did I make you this hard baby?"

"Yes, ma'am." He said as he hissed from the sensitivity.

"I need you so bad Y/N you don't understand how much I've missed you."

You pulled his underwear down as his beautiful rock-hard dick sprung out, you wrapped your fingers around his girth and pumped a few times as he continued to hiss and watch you.

"Mm, tell me how much you've missed me, Sannie."

The mix of the nickname and your hand jacking his dick was killing him but then you started to kiss up his shaft and he swore he could cum right then and there but chose to wait.

"So much baby, I couldn't even go one night without wanting to eat your sweet pussy or fuck you into this bed." You kissed your way up to his red tip that had precum drooling out of it, you cleaned it up with one long and slow stripe from the bottom to the top of his dick.

"Oh really? Why didn't you come and fuck me then Sannie? You always say this pussy is yours."

He gulped as you finally stopped teasing him and took him into your wet and hot mouth. Bobbing your head slowly as you made it to the middle of his dick and then coming back up to the tip just too slowly go back down. San whimpered a bit at the feeling, this was somewhat foreign for him. He rarely ever let you suck his dick because he loved to worship you, constantly wanting to kiss and drag his tongue across every inch of your body. When you did get the chance to suck him off it was always such an experience because San was rarely so submissive and whiny.

"Sannie, I asked you a question baby." You said to a very dazed San. "Why didn't you come and fuck me like the slut I am and put me in my place." you continued to tease him, returning your mouth to his length, and going even deeper on it, Sans incredibly adorable whimpering was music to your ears, he started to breathe heavy while his ears and face felt hot with a red blush taking over.

"I-I wanted to make you wait, s-so I could make you beg." He said biting back his moans.

You once again removed your mouth from his dick and used your hand to pump it, coating his dick in your saliva.

"And how did that work out for you? It looks like I'm about to have you begging me to cum."

Before he could reply your mouth was back on him, going deeper, his tip scraping the back of your throat, he couldn't hold back anymore, and pretty moans feel out of his soft lips. His hand flew to the back of your head to help you keep a steady motion up and down his rod.

"Fuck Y/N if you keep going, I'm going to cum down your throat." He groaned; you could feel his grip getting tighter on your hair while he rolled his hips for him to go deeper into your mouth. You looked up at him to see him falling apart, his mouth was agape as sighs and whimpers fell out, you could tell he was at his breaking point already, your eyes met and the next thing you know he said a drug out "Fuuuuuck" then hot liquid shot directly down your throat and you swallowed as it dripped out, but it started to become too much and you pulled back as you started to choke. The rest of the cum dripped down onto his underwear and down his shaft. You finished swallowing what was in your mouth then licked the remainder from off his dick.

"I guess you haven't been seeing anyone else, that was a lot." you said as you stood up. San didn't reply, he was too busy catching his breath. "Tired already baby? We aren't done yet." you undid the knot in on your robe to reveal your fully nude body underneath, it was like a cartoon the way Sans dick immediately started to get hard again. He removed his shirt and jacket and finished taking off his pants, he laid back down on his back and you straddled him, you hovered you soaking core over his hard dick as Sans hands sat on your hips, you leaned down to give him a quick peck before easing down his length, wincing a bit when you felt him enter you. San's head flew back onto the bed, and he moved back and forth between putting his head back and watching your pussy swallow him. Moans could be heard from both of you as you reached the base of his dick, even just fully sitting on San made you feel full, riding him was always a challenge.

"You're so fucking beautiful my love, but please move you're driving me crazy." He said trying to focus on anything but cumming again.

You placed your hands on both of Sans broad shoulders and started to move your body up and down his length.

"You're so fucking big San I can't take it." you said between your moans, his grip on your hips became tighter, you could even start to feel his nails.

"Yes you can beautiful, you take me so well, this pussy was made just for me right?"

You continued bouncing on him as you sped up the pace, your walls pulsing around him.

"Yes, only for you baby."

"I need more baby, I need more." San said, you were already stuffed full of him so what else could he possibly want. Suddenly you felt San lift you off of him and place you on your back next to him as he got on top of you. He place himself between your legs and placed your legs on his shoulders. Before you could even question it, he slid back into your velvet walls and started to thrust into you at a fast pace. You cried out then he leaned forward to muffle your moans with a kiss, he swallowed every cry into his mouth.

"I'm sorry baby I've missed you so much I just need to fuck into you so bad."

San was like a dog in heat the way that his strokes were fast and sloppy, he just needed to feel you, he felt crazy not having you wrapped around him for a week, he doesn't even wait that long when it's your time of the month. He placed his head into the crook of your neck as he continued to pound into you, you could hear his heavy breathing.

"You feel so fucking good baby, I want to cum in you so bad, feel you up nice and full." as the words finished leaving Sans lips your moans got louder and your pussy started to squeeze him, San being San of course noticed your reaction and decided to see how far he could go.

"Do you want that pretty? Do you want me to fill this pussy up?"

"Mm, San... please..." You said not wanting to admit to wanting it because you knew that would unleash a whole other demon you weren't sure you were ready for.

"Please what baby? You want me to cum in you and put a baby in your belly? Then everyone would for sure know you're mine, right?"

His thrusting became relentless, all you could do was moan and call his name, tears started to form in your eyes because of the amazing sensation you were feeling, you started to see the light at the end of the tunnel and Sans words only made it worse.

"Would you like that baby? Want me to make you a mommy?" he said, you tried to fight replying but you couldn't even think straight anymore, words just began to fly out.

"Fuck, yes please San, please cum in me! I want to have all your babies please Sannie, please."

San smiled and on command you started to feel his hot cum shoot into you, you swore you could feel him filling up your womb, San continued to fuck you while you felt his dick jumping inside of you, you started to cum as well. Covering every each of him in your slick, once San was done, he kept himself plugged into you and wrapped his arms around you.

"I love you so much Y/N."

You giggled at how cute he can be after rearranging your insides and hugged him back "I love you too San."

Your phone started to ring, and you reached over to grab it, you noticed it was now almost 2 hours after your meet up time for your date and he was calling. San took the phone and answered it for you.

"Hello?"

"Hello? Who is this?"

"This is Y/N's husband, sorry she won't be talking to you anymore." San simply said as he hung up and laid his head back on your chest.

"San that was mean!"

"I don't care."

You rolled your eyes because why did you expect him to care?

Bonus:

After getting cleaned up and after a bath and some decompressing and Sans friends also calling happy that you two made up you and San got dressed for bed. He cuddled his head into your bosom while you played in his hair.

"Y/n, were you being serious earlier?"

"About what?"

"Do you really want to have my baby?"

"...Well... yeah"

"Like now?"

"I mean, if it was to happen now, I wouldn't be upset about it."

San popped his head up like a puppy when his owner seeing his owner come home.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I mean I love you and I do see myself being with you for the rest of my life so... why not?"

"Oh my God Y/N that's all you had to say! Come on let's go to the store and buy some pregnancy test and some ovulation and fertility test and-"

you interrupted his excited rambling by placing your hand on his shoulder.

"San... it's 1 am, calm down, we’ll prep everything in the next few days."

"...You're right...I'll calm down."

"Good-"

"But we gotta make sure you're good and pregnant, that means we have to go a few more times." he said with the cutest little smile.

"I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight." You whispered to yourself

The answer was no, no you weren’t.

[rnn11203]

How much do you think Demetrius/robin tried with Sebastian? I kinda see all the parents of stardew to be well meaning in a sense that i think they do truly love their children but they get swept up and do wrong due to their circumstances, resentment, and insecurity.

I think Pam loves Penny, but her addiction, raising penny on her own, losing her job… yk? All that pain turned into more pain, i think Pam knows penny has done far too much for her, but is too ashamed to fully realize it, so to cope she internalizes it and blames penny all over. Obsesses over her own sacrifices and her own pain and ends up neglecting her.

I think Jodi loves Sam and Vincent, but she also feels resentful, lamenting about a life not lived, she married young and now worries about a husband who is different from when he left. She’s afraid that Sam’s turned lazy, but also didnt want to repeat the wasted youth she missed out on too, she bottles her emotions and it creates anxiety for Sam specifically. Kent too, its interesting that Sam feels indifferent to his fathers return isnt it? All that lost time, strangers now, Sam had grown fine without him and perhaps this creates guilt for both of them.

I think Pierre and Caroline love Abigail, honestly, i dont think the ��rumors” bother Pierre THAT much, i think sometimes he feels it, maybe after a particularly rough fight with either of his family members but i think he truly loves her, he’s her dad after all no matter who her father is. Caroline too, i think it’s just this unspoken thing for them, let the town gossip, they love their daughter. I dont think they understand her very well tho, and yk, she doesnt think they do either. Its one of those things where the more you try to understand, the less you hear. Abigails relationship with her parents reads more cliche teenager to me though, i headcanon that their relationships settle as she ages. I think Abigail would move out of the valley and travel frequently but i think shed make trips back to her family often. Mostly for holidays. I think Caroline specifically would still feel anxious and wish she didnt travel as much, but i think her and Pierre’s relationship gets better in the future too. (It’s funny, Pierre is one of the least popular characters but i actually really like him).

Which brings me to Sebastian, Robin, and Demetrius. Again with an unpopular opinion, when i first played, i really liked Demetrius. Although i did feel that robins side of the arguements were more “correct”.

I headcanon Sebastian’s age to be around 22-23~ while Maru’s is 18-19~. I also headcanon that Sebastians father simply just left while Seb was around 3~. Im curious to how others think him and robin met, im unsure if its ever mentioned in game but honestly i think they met due to work. Demetrius has stated that he studies the local flora and fauna and Robin is a carpenter, i imagine she has a lot of knowledge about pelican towns native plants and animals. I think they were smitten, i can see robin liking Demetrius more nerdy/dorky behavior and robins stern, playful, spitfire personality has captured the hearts of many players after all.

Sebastian comes off as a Velcro kid to me, i think he’d be a huge mamas boy and feel almost threatened by Demetrius. I think robin and Demetrius would marry quickly, and honestly i think Maru was a planned pregnancy, I think robin wanted to give Sebastian a sibling so he’d be less lonely, and i think they’d figure that bonding would happen easier if they were closer in age. I see this being very upsetting to Sebastian, i think he’d see his father once in a while but when hes around 12-13 it’s just.. silence.

Honestly, i think Demetrius would try really hard to bond with Sebastian. But once Maru came along both him and robin were just.. busy. I think Demetrius would unfortunately think “wow this is my first child!” And it alienated Sebastian. I think Sebastian feels abandoned. Replaced. Unwelcome. Which is why he struggles with opening up to others and prefers being alone.

Unfortunately i think robin and Demetrius would just think Sebastian was a more difficult child and that Maru was an easier baby. I think this would embarrass Sebastian and shame him, i dont think they ever meant anything by it but i do think Sebastian was a fussy child who wanted to be soothed. But after their comments, he’d isolate himself so that he too, would be an “easier” child for them. As Sebastian ages i think robin would feel she didnt do enough for him, i think she worries about him often but almost feels like it’s “too late”. I think eventually Sebastian would come to resent and feel mistreated by all his parents and as his behavior worsened, he’d get compared to Maru even more, furthering the resentment and pain he feels. I do think he’d be a meaner older brother though, causing Demetrius to be more protective over Maru causing stronger feelings of “you’re not my dad!” And etc…. Can you tell im sleepy yet?

TLDR: i think they would try their best but ultimately end up sidelining him, causing him to act out more until he just didnt care anymore.

[bil-daddy]

hi mr bildad um im just gonna dump this here since i have no one else to talk to

as someone who has always praised in their ability to be friends with anyone (i also need human interaction to survive btw) ive been feeling very lonely, especially since now are the school holidays.

my best friend (who is one year older than me) is barely online and doesn't take me seriously enough. and when i ask my friend group (with 2 other people my age) if they want to go out nothing happens. ive asked so many times but it's like they just don't want to hang out. and i keep seeing them post everywhere of them having fun with their OTHER friends (i don't know them bc they're from their primary schools; we are in secondary school now). and the obvious solution is to hang out with my primary school friends, right? well awesome news I DONT HAVE ANY.

and like ive just been feeling really really lonely especially today. i don't even text anyone except for my best friend, and even then she doesnt really respond properly because its like i dump a lot of messages and 4 hours later she skims through them, rinse and repeat.

(also side note i used to have another best friend but he ended up having a crush on me and didn't give me space so i kinda ended the friendship bc i wasn't comfortable with it)

during my entire TWO MONTH school holiday i haven't gone out with friends. not even once. while i see everyone else my age having so much fun and enjoying life while i just rot at home scrolling through tumblr.

so yeah im not really having a great time. hopefully when i get back to school in january things will be better

sorry for the long rant

Hey, kid (human). No need to apologize for the long rant. Actually, I've got a lot to say about this topic, too, so take a toilet break, grab a beverage and a snack, then sit down with your deal old Bildaddy (platonic, metaphorical) for a chat.

First off, sorry you're going through this. It hurts a lot when friends start fading away, and you realize they no longer consider you as close and you consider them. Feeling left out and like you don't have any real friends seriously sucks.

But it's actually something every single person goes through at some time or another--though most of us aren't brave enough to admit it like you have, because it feels embarrassing and shameful. Like there's something wrong with you.

There isn't.

There is nothing wrong with you.

Friends come and go, and 99% of the time it has nothing to do with you, or anything you've said or done. It isn't your fault. That doesn't mean it hurts any less, but it isn't your fault.

But that being said, I promise you, for every person you see pictures of having so much fun and enjoying life, there are twenty--probably even more--at home like you, scrolling tumblr, or tiktok, or reddit, or whatever the kids are scrolling these days.

And even those people you see posting pictures, that isn't their everyday life. They post pics of the good times, not the bad ones (well not usually) or the boring ones. Especially not the boring ones. I bet they do more sitting at home and scrolling than you think. They're just not advertising that for all their followers to see.

But that's not the point. The point is (dolphins! goats!) your current friends aren't fulfilling your need for socialization. And that means you need to find some new friends, anon.

You can still stay friends with your best friend and that old friend group. As in, don't send them a message officially ending the friendship, and don't delete and/or block them everywhere. You can still talk to them in school when you see them.

(Do unfollow them on social media if seeing them hang without you is upsetting--or better yet, pause on using social media entirely--except for tumblr, of course--until you're in a better place, mentally and emotionally. Bildaddy deleted instagram five years ago and never went back.)

But starting today, back off on asking these friends to hang out, and sending long text messages to your best friend that she only skims through. They're not matching your energy, so you need to start matching theirs. Either they'll notice the difference and start making more of an effort (no, not that kind), or they won't and they won't. But either way, you'll stop wasting your time.

Next, you take all the energy you were spending on your old friend group and start looking for new friends.

While you're still on winter break, there might not be as many opportunities, but there are some possibilities. Do you have any cousins around your age who might wanna hang out? Or maybe there are local events aimed at teenagers you can attend? Check libraries and community centers. Or on New Year's Eve, there might be some sort of Parents Night Out event you can volunteer for and help babysit a group of little kids, along with other teenagers that you could befriend?

Then, when winter break ends, look around your school for other students who might be in your same situation--and trust me there are others in your same situation. Is there someone who always sits alone at lunch? Or what about that kid in class who's too shy to speak up? Is there someone getting bullied or ostracized? Someone new to the school who hasn't made any friends yet? Look for the ones who might need a friend as much--or even more--than you do and try to befriend them.

It won't always work, no, cause nothing always works. But it will work sometimes. And you only need it to work enough times to make a couple friends. And if you make the right friend, they might have a friend group that you can join.

I know it's really scary to put yourself out there and make the first move. But you'd be surprised how receptive people are, especially the shy ones who are too scared to say 'hi' first, and rely on the braver ones, like you, for the human connection they need. Because we all need it. (Even me. Because I'm totally 100% human.)

Other ways to make friends are clubs, in school and out of school, which is probably what adults will suggest if you ask them, so I'm not going to spend much time on this. But they're right. If you're not already in clubs--academic, sports, art, books, music, anime, whatever your interest(s) is--join some! If there's nothing of interesting at your schools, churches and other local organizations might also have youth clubs and activities, too.

Shared interests in a sure way to make friends. I see it happening all the time on Tumblr. Those mutuals you wish didn't live so far away? Well, you can find mutuals just like them IRL! (Especially if you start or join a book club that reads Good Omens, or a tv show club that watches Good Omens)

Another option is getting a part-time job at a place other teenagers work. If this is something you can do without disrupting your schoolwork, try it. Fast food restaurants, cinemas, places like that.

You say you're someone who has the ability to be friends with anyone? Well, prove it! This isn't a threat, by the way. This is encouragement. I'm encouraging you.

Now go out there and make some friends, kid! I know you can do it! I believe in you, and everybody here is rooting for you.

And, as always, have an ox rib (platonic)

[katronautt]

KAT'S YEAR REVIEW & A THANK YOU NOTE

hello my lovelies! we reached the end of this year (thank god) and i have a few things to say and a lot to thank for you guys.

(i promise that the rest of my writing is not in this font lol)

this year sucked. bigtime. everyone was all over 2020, how bad it was and all but lemme tell you, 2021 wasn't that much better either. first half of this year was spent with struggling trying to find a job while spiraling down into the rabbit hole of self-pity and depression. finally in may (after 8 months of searching), i got accepted to a place that wasn't (and isn't) any better than what I had left behind in 2020. still, it is somewhat better and i least i have a monthly income for now.

but i still very much like to move on to something else in 2022 so here is the first thing im hoping for next year: a good job with a good salary, something i enjoy doing. (huh good luck you dumb biatch lol)

so all in all, i hated this year but!! there are a few things that made is somewhat bareable and it is all thanks to you guys! (here comes the soppy part so buckle up)

i (re)discovered the world of fanfiction throughout the pedro fandom sometime in november, 2020. i have all that time in my hands since i didnt have a job and i got really into it. ever since then, i find it hard at nights to go to sleep without reading anything before it (kinda became a tradition of mine if you will) and during the winter, reading fanfics helped me tremendously. they helped me escape from my miserable, jobless, futureless and lonely af life and they helped me get through the day. they brought me joy, sometimes tears in a good way and i caught myself staying up til 2 or 3 just to read "one more" chapter of a certain fic.

i still cant believe you guys are doing this for free, for our entertainment (and yours) ! sharing your wonderful works with us and expecting nothing in return (except for the obviously well deserved likes & reblogs) is truly a wonder i never be able to comprehend!

tumblr is truly a hellsite, it gave me so much anxiety since i joined back in actively yet... tumblr is also that thing that gave me the most joy this year with y'all in it.

and now for the thank you notes:

⭐ yes of course im starting with my dearest, my love, my one braincell, @queenofthefaceless. ari, you were one of the first 'big' blogs that started following me after i started making gifs again and i was all over and back and that support still holds up til today. thank you for your neverending support and for always being there for me, no matter what. ilysm. 💜

⭐ although we dont speak much lately, @keethus-arts I ll never forget your support and nice words whenever i was feeling down. thank you keeth! 💜

⭐ when @ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa started following me, i was just about to go to bed around 2 am, but when i saw the notification i got so excited that i couldnt sleep for another half an hour and then the next morning i checked in there again to see if i wasnt dreaming. for a while i was intimidated by Katryn for some stupid reason (you know big blog with amazing and popular fics and all) but honestly she's the absolute sweetest and I'm so glad I got to meet you! You have such amazing & wonderful stories! i also wanna thank you for your infinite support towards my maxie gifs and towards my other works too💜

⭐ the same happened with @qveenbvtch, i was (and am) so in love with her javi series, i never thought that such a big and amazing (and intimidating) writer would ever talk to me, let alone follow me but she is also one of the sweetest person i've ever met here and i hope she is doing alright and having a nice holidays wherever she is right now 💜

⭐ @mandocrasis birdie, you know this by now but i found you and your blog through your mind blowing fic interruption which is probably something i will never shut up about, but through that smutty one piece i got to meet a wonderful person with wonderful stories & i thank you for your never fading support towards me and my gifs 💜

⭐ @asta-lily lil beans, although you are not that active anymore on tumblr (which i hope will change one day), you were one of the first people i became mutuals with and i was lucky enough too meet the sweetest, loveliest person in you. and your AOJ story forever remains dear to my heart 💜

⭐ sweet, sweet @anaaaispunk ! the first thing i read from you was the first chapter of your crazy in love series (during my summer holiday, on a beach, with people all around me... ) i was instantly blown away and sweating (and not just from the hot wheater 🤭), I just knew I had to follow you for more haha. but this way I got to meet another sweet soul of tumblr with an amazing writing talent. thank you for all the love and support you have shown towards me and my gifs 💜

⭐ MEG! i feel like i am so lucky for finding your soft max lord series, it seriously changed my life, i fell in love with the story, with max, the whole thing.. and when you dedicated your latest chapter to me with that sweet note, i felt like i could cry, because honestly, one of the best thing that happened to me lately haha. you are an absolute angel and dont you forget that @perropascal !! 💜

⭐ and i also wanna mention and say thanks to @babydarkstar! Your ezra story had blown me the fuck away, seriously, its amazing, wonderful and beautiful.. just like you anya, thank you for support and your amazingness! 💜

Alrighty, i talk way too fucking much so im just gonna tag the rest of y'all to whom i say a massive thanks because without your amazing fics i dont think i would have survived this year ( i know with some of you we are not mutuals but that doesnt stop me from loving your works):

@absurdthirst, @toomanystoriessolittletime, @storiesofthefandomlovers, @honestly-shite, @littlemisspascal, @radiowallet, @queridopascal, @just-here-for-the-moment, @softpedropascal , @javier-pena, @f0rever15elf, @danidrabbles, @lellowberry, @pedro-pascal-love, @foli-vora, @krissology @frannyzooey, @starlightmornings, @wordsnwhiskey, @juletheghoul, @dincrypt, @mandosmistress, @yespolkadotkitty, @songsformonkeys, @the-ginger-hedge-witch, @astroboots, @brandyllyn, @charnelhouse , @ezrasbirdie , @novemberrain221, @oonajaeadira

And to every other lovely mutuals I am lucky enough to have: without your support I'd be nowhere. Love y'all tremendously ����❤️❤️

@beskarboobs, @300mirrors, @over300books, @artsymaddie, @phantomviola, @djarsdin, @sirtadcooper , @lucrezia-thoughts, @wild-at-heart-kept-in-cage

Here's to another shitty AMAZING year with you guys on this hellsite!! 🥂🎉❤️❤️❤️❤️

[isawthegirlinthepigmask]

Uhhhhh well looks like I'm gonna die alone

[wastelandcrown]

logan lark’s adventures in trying to appease his parents

CHAPTER 7: you matter to me (the terrifying tales of the grimm monarchy)

Summary: Logan Lark is a fairly average high school student. By all means, he should be impressing his parents on all grounds. Except...he doesn’t exactly have a social life. So after his parents give him puppy dog eyes, he decides to join the local theatre's youth production. Good grief...His life is about to get weird isn’t it?

Warnings: Potential ooc behavior, Mr. and Mrs. Grimm’s A+ parenting, panic attacks, unconventional sibling problems/dynamics, very brief disappearance (If I miss something please tell me!)

Notes: This fic is based off an idea from @under-the-blue-moonlight. If you wanna be tagged in chapters, please ask!! All feedback is very welcomed, I didn’t have anyone to beta so *sighs loudly*. This chapter is kinda angsty and opens up some fun new plot relevant strings. I also want to make it clear that I will be demonstrating Roman putting in work to fix his mess ups in later chapters as well! He’s got some loose ends to tie up, and he will do so. 

Pairings: Intrulogical, Eventual Rociet, Creativitwins

Tagslist: @under-the-blue-moonlight @why-should-i-tell-youu2 @im-actually-ok @hauntedturkeycalzonedreamer @croftersjam15 @rainbowsixth @snaketho @wasinotwantedatthisexactsecond @a-soul-among-the-stars @sweet-razz-tea @the-cactus-lord @genderlessfish

Janus’ eyes move to Logan, they seem to communicate without a breath between them. Logan takes nothing but his phone with him when he heads into the hall, but it’s far too late. Remus is nowhere in sight.

Roman takes a shuddering sigh, places his head in his hands, and leans against the makeup counter.

“I’m-I’m sorry-I don’t-I don’t know what that was-”

“Yes, you do.”

The room feels so uncomfortable, the tension could be cut with a knife. Roman knows Janus well enough to know his glare cuts sharper than any weapon could ever. Especially to him. His face stays firmly planted in his hands, hiding from the truth he’s been avoiding for far too long.

“Roman, look at me,” Janus orders. 

He listens and keels back in shame at the look of anger and disappointment on his friend’s face.

“Tell me the truth, why are you doing this?”

It’s a good question. For all it’s worth though, he doesn’t know. Which seems like the cop-out of the century, but truly...he has no clue at the moment. That, however, is not an answer Janus will accept and not one he will accept of himself. 

With a deep breath, he thinks “Alright, Roman. Be honest. Why are you doing this?”

Within moments he gets it and it is the easiest conclusion he’s ever come to. The twins have always had a very sturdy dichotomy. Remus was a messy and wild child growing up, while Roman was clean and polite. When they played, there was always a good and just prince and an evil conniving duke. There were good marks and bad marks. Good ideas and bad ideas. Clean and messy. Good and evil. Something nice and something terrible. Even in the eyes of their parents. It didn’t matter to them as children, Remus even seemed to enjoy it on occasion. Looking back, he only ever liked being “bad” when he got to choose it. When they played in their yard and there was a choice between swimming in the pool and scooping water onto the grass to “drown the bugs”, he was the happiest child in the universe. When the school called their father and told him that Remus had been in another fight, he looked like someone had ripped his soul from his body. It didn’t matter the reason he was fighting, he was “bad”. Roman had always thought the merit of the fight was dictated by why you were fighting in the first place, but apparently, he was wrong. 

The dichotomy they played into was fun! It was! For a while, at least. Then Roman began being berated by everyone around him for acting similarly to his brother. Then Remus was the new social outcast months before they hit middle school. Then it wasn’t fun anymore. Being “good” was stressful and lonely. Teachers, classmates, friends, family, everyone equated “good” with perfect. Perfection is a hard burden to bear alone and twelve years old. Roman’s mind drifts to when they split up. When the dichotomy became less of a two-person game played for fun, and more of an ugly sweater from an aunt that they had to wear to every formal event. It was hard, it was always much too hard. It hurt him. Recently, he realized the much heavier burden of being “bad”. The stress and loneliness must be tenfold when everyone beats into your brain that you are the perfect example of the “Evil Twin” trope. Even your own brother. Your twin. 

“Everyone told me,”

They had been a pair once.

“‘Roman, you’re such a good kid, you’re good at everything.’”

They were a good pair. Even now. He’d worked with him just a month ago to put something together and it was amazing.

“‘There is nothing you can’t do!’”

A few months ago, he was doing something he hadn’t thought possible and making amends with his brother.

“To them, I was independent and self-sufficient,”

He wasn’t either of those things, not then and not now. He had always been a pair.

“I was perfect. I had to be.”

The catch is that he gave up the only person who didn’t care if he was perfect.

“I thought it was true, I-”

The catch is that now his actions dawn on him fully like a wave over the shore.

“I needed them to be right.”

His breath shakes, “Who am I if I’m not that?”

The wave of grief and guilt crashes into him, and all he can think about now is how much he wants to take back every single mean thing he’s ever said about his brother. He feels the sea of emotions that he’s held back take him in and drown him with ferocity. Janus sighs as Roman stares at him through watery eyes.

“Roman. You were doing so well with Remus.”

He’s right, Janus is always right about these things. Two months ago, he had been doing so much better. He and Remus were still bickering in public, but it was fun to him. Though when Remus had “glue-and-feather’d” his makeup bag, he had thrown a little fit, he laughed about it later. Remus had laughed with him. It was light and fun. May, June, and most of July were the most fun he’d had with Remus in years. They’d spent time together, helped each other with chores, ridden to the theatre together. Little, minuscule things. Things that made such a tremendous difference in Roman’s confidence. 

“What happened?”

The same thing that always happened. His mother came home

There was always something different about his mother. When he and Remus had befriended Janus in elementary school, they met someone else's mother for the first time. He realized the day he had met her what made his mom so different. Lillian Devine, or as they called her Mrs.Lilli, was quite possibly the strangest woman they had ever met. The first time they saw her, Janus had seen her outside the school and made a beeline for his mother’s arms. She took him up into her arms, gave him a spin, and hugged him tightly. Roman doesn’t remember much from being that young, but he can remember the first moment he felt jealousy was when Lillian took Janus into that hug and loudly announced that she missed him. Only gone a day at school, and she missed him enough to announce it to the world. He remembers going home to a very big, very empty house. He was grumpy, clutching Remus’ hand like a lifeline as their nanny ushered them into their room and told them she would collect them at dinner time. When she collected them, Roman asked if she had missed them. She said, “I’m not your mother, am I?”.

His mother was different. When she came home, she would offer Roman a hug and give him a big kiss on the cheek. Every time, even the most recent. Like clockwork. Roman, sometimes accompanied by Remus, would wait outside the door for his mother’s car to arrive. She would exit and her heels would clack along the stone pathway. She would kiss him on the cheek when she got up the steps, offer him a quick hug, then begin to speak about her latest adventures in Paris. If Remus stood with him, she would give him her coat. Roman would always take it from him, hang it up, and follow his mother wherever she went. Recently the thought of their mother handing Remus her coat made Roman want to puke. 

They’d had dinner together one night in July. On her most recent visit, she told stories of her new revolutionary fashion line. He told her all about the newest theatre show. Remus made an effort to sit with them, and it was a labour for Roman to look at his mother when he spoke instead of Remus. He was there for all his anecdotes but he would still hang off of every word just to find something to prod at. Remus stood, and his mother’s words echoed in his brain.

“Remus, dear,” His mother begins in her shrill voice, “If you’re not going to eat with us, at least go and shower. Your smell is unbecoming.”

He latches onto that conversation, that’s really when the downfall started. 

“Mother, that was quite rude…” He says softly, keeping his eyes on his plate.

“Sometimes you have to tell the truth, my darling.” She laughs then, and Roman wants more than anything to get up and chase his brother.

“Speaking of your theatre production,” He turns his attention back to her, “Your father is thinking of coming this year.”

All thoughts of defending his brother leave his brain entirely. His mouth dries and he feels the onset of excitement and pure panic. At that moment he is consumed by selfishness and tries to push away the panic and think only of this dream come true. 

“He’ll be happy to hear you got the lead again,”

“But Mother, I told you, I’m only-”

“Yes, the understudy. You’ll change that, won’t you, my darling? I didn’t raise you to get second place, did I?”

He was good. What he was doing was good. He couldn’t disappoint his mother, let alone his father. Truth be told, he barely even spoke to the man except for their short and brief calls on the major holidays. He hadn’t seen him in person in nearly two years. He’d outgrown the excuse of him being busy but hadn’t outgrown the fire that a visit from his father lights inside him. It became even worse when after two feeble attempts to be rid of Logan, his father called him. Unprompted, unscheduled, and entirely without cause. He buzzed when he picked up the phone. 

“Roman.”

“Hello, father.” He can barely contain the happiness buzzing around in his throat.

“I have made time in my schedule to come to see your stage performance at the request of your mother. She has told me you landed the lead role again, I can’t say I’m not impressed. This is the sixth year in a row she has asked me, you know. I hope there is some merit to your casting director’s choice.”

He can barely keep himself sat down, the urge to jump around is so intense that he nearly dies. “Oh, certainly! I won’t let you down! Oh! And neither will Remus, he’s entirely spectacular in his role this year, I really think you’ll love-”

“I am not attending this production to see your brother. I trust you won’t let me down, because unlike him, you are not a failure. I will see you then, goodbye.”

In one fell swoop, his father had crushed his mood and strengthened his resolve. 

“My father is coming to the production. He called me himself to confirm.”

“The man who talks to you on average thirty minutes a year is coming to our show? Please tell me you’re joking.” The shock is evident in Janus’ voice as he searches Roman’s face desperately to ensure he’s lying.

“I’m not. My mother, she-she told him I got the lead. He told me-He told me that he was impressed with my track record. Then I-Well I started talking about Remus’ spectacular performance and he...He said he wasn’t coming to see Remus and that I-” Roman is on the verge of tears, he feels the urge to crumble like a war-torn kingdom.

Janus places a hand on his shoulder, meant to be a comfort, “That you what?”

Tears track down Roman’s face as he sits and slumps over to physically display his guilt, “That I’m not a failure like him, so I won’t let him down.”

“I am internalizing so much anger at the moment, please give me a second.” Janus takes a deep breath and screams angrily out loud. Roman takes it as initiative and screams as well, but much more wet and sad. 

Janus pinches the bridge of his nose between his fingers. 

“You didn’t think to tell anyone any of this?” Roman shakes his head and sniffles.

Janus mutters to himself, “Right. Of course, you didn’t. You fool.” 

“We all know you’re not an absolute prick Roman. You’d obviously just pick on Logan for no reason you’re totally not super stressed or something.” He recoils at that, Janus’ face falls.

“I’m just-Roman-You can talk to me,” Janus speaks with an air entirely too soft for him.

What gets Roman’s attention is the tired and slightly sad, “Lord knows that neither of you does enough.”

“I’m here for you, even if you do some very morally shifty things. Especially if it’s all because you’re all stressed out and your daddy issues are taking centre stage in your mind.” He sits beside him now, taking Roman’s hand in his.

“I know how passionate you are, and I can tell that this isn’t how you want to do it. So, you don’t have to. You have...lots of things to make up for and apologize for. But there is still time. As long as you mean it, and you want to do better.”

Weakly, he mutters “I do.”

“Then find a way to apologize and fix it the way you always do.”

“And what way is that?” He asks with a soft smile, to which Janus chuckles under his breath.

“Facing every and all challenges with courage and honesty. Obviously,” Janus raises a thumb and wipes the tears from Roman’s cheeks with a genuine smile. 

So it was settled then. Roman needed to apologize. To everyone. He was already thinking of ways to express his sorrow and regret properly, his brilliant brain spitting out lavish and somewhat laborious ideas. Janus can tell from the way the passionate light returns to his eyes and he smiles. There is work to be done. 

The door slams open and an entirely too panicked Virgil stands in the doorway, “Janus-”

Work to be done later. Virgil’s breath is coming in whooping waves, his body is shaking, makeup smudged from anxious tears rolling down his face. Janus moves with purpose, approaching Virgil like a particularly protective guardian. Virgil grabs the fabric of his hoodie and tries to breathe.

“That’s it, Virgil, you’re alright,” He coos, gently placing a hand on his head.

“We can’t-” Virgil speech is messy and laboured, “We-We can’t find Remus-He’s-He’s not picking up his phone-I’m-We-”

Roman’s blood runs cold. Remus has done this before, sure. But it’s always been silly and fun and not motivated by weeks worth of stress and terrible feelings. Roman knows his words were the cherry on the cake, and nearly slaps himself for still being sat there while his brother was who knows where.

Roman grabs Remus’ bag from the floor, opening it to find his phone. There are almost fifty missed messages, most of them from a contact labelled “The Sexy Kind Of Spider” who he can only assume is Virgil. 

“His phone’s still here,” He sifts through the bag some more, “Along with his jacket and his car keys.” 

“Well, I’d say he can’t have gone far, but we all know how crafty Remus is,” Janus says with a drained expression on his face which only inspires Virgil to clutch his shirt even tighter.

There’s a fire in Roman now, an urge to find his brother’s newest hiding spot and somehow make it up to him. He slings the bag over his shoulder and approaches the pair.

“No need to fear, Virge! I’ll find Remus and bring him back to us as quickly as I can!”

Virgil only nods in response, prompting Janus to gently ruffle his hair. Roman leaves, knowing that the Virgil situation is in very capable hands. On to finding his brother. 

He sends a quick text to Thomas debriefing the situation, playing it off as a “typical Remus situation”, and leaves the building. If Remus had been outside the theatre, he certainly wasn’t anymore. Potentially unfortunately from Roman, a certain nerd was out there looking instead. When they made eye contact, Logan approached. He looked...frazzled. Much more so than Roman had ever seen. 

“There you are. I was wondering when you would come help. Remus is missing and hasn’t answered his phone.”

“He left it here, but I’m going to go and look for him.” 

Logan mutters something under his breath about the inefficiency of something-or-other, but Roman does not have the time to care. Him and Logan talk for another minute, Logan even gives him his number to call when he finds him. Logan says he’s going to get more people to look, Roman only nods. He’s focused in, there’s hope for a new start still and he’ll be damned if he loses it to Remus randomly disappearing forever. He piles into his car with Remus’ bag and starts his search.

Hope turns to fear after the third hour with no signs of his brother. He had checked his house, all the old spots Remus used to love, their whole neighbourhood, Janus’ house, every department store near the theatre. Nothing. It was like a magician cast a spell to make his brother disappear. He’s on the verge of panic. His hands are shaking like a bitch and his breathing wavers with each word he mutters to himself to ease his anxiety. He has to pull over into the parking lot of the convenience store near his home. It wouldn’t be safe for him to drive anywhere anymore. He wonders for a moment how in the hell his brother disappeared so quickly. He only had about thirty minutes on foot ahead of them, how had nobody found him? He almost cries sitting at the wheel. What if he’d been kidnapped? Murdered? Taken for ransom? Wait, that’s the same as kidnapping, isn’t it? God, it didn’t matter now! His brother was gone. For nearly ten minutes he lets the situation hit him hard. Tears roll through his body and he sobs. If Remus was gone forever, what would he do? What could he do? 

A worker from the store comes out from the front. They see Roman and Roman sees them. Roman couldn’t care less that they now look incredibly uncomfortable. They move to the back of the store and from Roman can see, they’re talking to someone. It doesn’t matter. He doesn’t know why he’s watching. He’s still crying like a baby. The thought of having lost his brother to the universe is still making his head pound. The worker gives whoever they’re talking to a smile, walks back inside the store, and from the till inside they give Roman a reassuring smile as well. He gives them a thumbs up. He takes a deep breath. He needs to pull himself together and find-

When Remus turns the corner from behind the store, Roman goes for the door handle before he can think. The sight of his shivering, tear-stained, obviously upset brother has him moving. He rips the door open and scrambles out. He trips over the edge of the car door and it doesn’t even matter. His palms and knees scrape against the concrete, ripping the skin on his hands and hurting his knees. He doesn’t care. It stings and he doesn’t care. The second he’s on his feet again he bolts at Remus and throws his arms around his chest. His head is firmly locked between Remus’ neck and shoulder, he’s grabbing at his shirt like a lifeline. His breathing is erratic, the tears are back now and back with a vengeance. His knees are shaking. He hadn’t even recognized how terribly and horribly scared of losing his brother he even was. Feeling it now was like the first breath of autumn air in your summer lungs. Remus stands there, just stands there. For a moment, the buzzing of his mind recognizes someone saying his name. Then there are arms around him. He’s being squeezed within an inch of his life. He doesn’t mind. He will never mind again. 

All Roman’s scared voice can squeak out is a loud and cracking, “I’m sorry!”

They stand together in the chilly late-august afternoon air, in full sight of any neighbours or employees at the store, for five minutes. They sway slightly. Remus doesn’t say a word. Not one passes through his lips. Remus pulls away, only to take Roman’s hand and drag him to the car. 

“C’mon you crybaby, let’s go home.”

Roman just nods and doesn’t comment on the tears on Remus’ cheeks. Remus takes the driver’s seat and Roman piles into the passengers’ side. He holds his brother’s bag in his lap, he squeezes it tightly. The drive home is only a few minutes, but Roman’s breathing calms enough to the point where he can rationalize texting. Janus, Logan, and Virgil all get a very simple text, but it’s enough to explain the situation.

‘Found him. We’re going home. He’ll call you in a bit.’

They pull into the driveway, shuffle into the house, take off their shoes. It seems weirdly unreal. It’s like Roman has entered some twilight zone where he and his brother get along. A twilight zone that Roman hopes to make a reality. Like he’s an upset kid again, he takes his brother’s hand and remains resolute in not crying again as he leads him through their empty house. The maid is there, she sees them pass. She doesn’t say a word. She watches the obviously upset twins make their way down the hall and into Roman’s room. Remus lets Roman take him by the shoulders and sit him on his bed. They stare at each other for a moment, unsure of what to say. 

Roman takes the first step, “You scared me, Remus.”

Remus looks away, “I didn’t think you’d care, really…”

“Of course I’d care! Remus, I-I always cared! And I meant it when I said that I am truly sorry!” He’s crying again, and frankly, he feels a little stupid. 

“I kinda figured when you ran at me crying like a crazy person,” His brother picks up the end of his blanket and wipes his face with it, “You’re crying a lot today.”

“I’ve had a quite terrible afternoon, I think a little emotional distress is warranted.” He huffs and crosses his arms over his chest, Remus smacks the blanket gently across his cheek. 

Remus ushers him in again, nudging his head against Roman’s stomach and wrapping arms around his back. Roman stands between Remus’ legs and holds his head like the precious thing it is. 

There’s a shudder of a breath from each of them. Both of them are so painfully aware of how long it’s been since the last time they sought out each other for comfort like this. There’s something so familiar in it. The warmth that Roman remembers from a childhood spent at each other’s sides. They used to be so close that they shared a bed by choice. He spent nights asleep and calm holding onto his brother. This feels like that. Something so personal and so old. Remus starts to cry again and it’s a messy sob that makes Roman’s ears ring. He squats down to look Remus in the eyes, taking his hands in his. 

“I didn’t mean it, Rem. I don’t think you’re a failure-I-” Remus cries harder, he does his best to wipe the tears with his fingers.

“You-You mean much more to me than I’m sure I've let on in recent years.” There’s a tenderness and honesty in Roman’s voice that feels good and right.

“Mother and Father have been driving me insane, pressuring me to say and do things that I frankly don’t believe in.” The feelings he’s sharing now are lightening something in Roman’s chest, and from the look on Remus’ face, his words are more than on the right track. 

“Not anymore. I promise to you that from now on I am going to do everything I can to make up for the terrible things I’ve done.” 

Remus smiles at him, teary-eyed and covered in snot. It’s not gross to Roman, not right now, because Remus looks better. 

“Can you start by getting me some water?” Remus’s hoarse voice coughs out, Roman is on his feet and goes to the kitchen as quickly as he can. 

With two glasses in hand, he hurries back. He stops at the door. Inside, he hears Remus talking. He’s on the phone with Janus, who sounds more than upset. He goes in, gives Remus the glass, and turns to leave for privacy reasons. His brother grabs at his wrist and tugs him back. He sits beside Remus and they drink their water. He keeps his mouth shut and listens to the ways in which other people love his brother. Janus is angrier than anything else. The heart-palpitating rant that ensues is wildly emotional. He talks about how much the incidents of this afternoon scared everyone, goes off on tangents about the risks of running off and not telling anyone, tells him with the most love in his voice that he was worried about him. Remus promises not to do it again, Janus only sighs in a loving way. Janus brings up his talk with Roman, emphasizes his support of both of them, and lets Remus be on his way. Virgil is next, and he’s quiet. The call is full of little silences, Virgil takes breaks between sentences. Stops mid-word to take a breath and keep his wits. He tells Remus that he scared him. Tells him that he cares about him, no matter what. That he loves him and wants the best for him. He doesn’t use those words exactly, but Roman reads between the lines. 

They’re fairly average calls considering the circumstances and their relationships. Roman sees Remus hesitate as his fingers ghost over the call button under Logan’s contact. He’s saved as “Boobear” with a blue and green heart. It’s by far the most normal of the names on his list. It’s by far the sweetest as well. 

“Something wrong?” He asks, and Remus gives him a shaky smile.

“I’m worried about what he’s going to hate me now or something,” 

It’s almost the stupidest thing Roman had ever heard. He might not get along great with Logan, but he’s not blind. The little nerd is wrapped tightly around Remus’ finger. He’s seen Remus hang off of Logan and say all kinds of crazy and vulgar things, only to get a small reprimand or occasionally an annoyed-but-loving smile. Remus can spout off in a rant about nothing in particular, only to have Logan hang onto every word and provide commentary and factual corrections. There is nothing in the world that could shake away the Logan Lark who was smiling and dancing in a field with his brother only a month ago. 

“With the way he looks at you,” Roman chuckles, “I wouldn’t be surprised if this made him love you more.”

Remus blushes furiously, and instead of dignifying Roman with a response, he hits the call button.

Logan picks up the second it goes through as if he was waiting by his phone for Remus to call him. The intense emotion in his voice makes the twins do a double-take. He’s normally so straight and narrow. Measured. Collected. There is an air to the typical Logan that has vanished now. Roman wonders why he couldn’t show this side on stage more often. 

“Remus? Please tell me this is you.”

To cover up his anxiousness, Remus flirts terribly, “Heya hot-stuff, what’re you wearing?”

There’s a relief filled laugh on the other side of the phone, “There’s my answer. Are you alright?”

“M-hm! You’ll never guess who made me feel better with a shit ton of groveling!” There’s an air to Remus’ voice that conveys humour.

“Remus.” Logan sounds so serious, Roman watches Remus sigh and roll his eyes at the care.

“Yeah, Logie. I’m okay. I mean it.”

Logan speaks again, that same serious voice, “I’ve been worried all afternoon.”

“Yeah...” 

It’s quiet for a second, there’s a tension of the unspoken affection the pair have for each other floating in the room. 

“I feel this is as good a time as any to tell you that I don’t think you’re a failure at all. You-I...In truth, I find you quite interesting to be around. You...You are...immensely talented in my humble opinion. I...While I understand we haven’t been friends for long- I hope it is not presumptuous to say that we are friends-But our relationship is...important to me. I enjoy your company and all you do for me. It...It is a true pleasure to be in your company, Remus. I-” 

Despite the blushing on Remus’ cheeks, he softly mutters “You’re ranting again, Lo-Lo.” 

“My apologies,” Logan nearly whispers out, there is affection seeping from his voice, “However, I meant everything I said.”

“I think you’re the shit too, babes. Sorry for worrying ‘ya.” There’s that affection again, Roman has never heard his brother sound so affectionate.

There’s another pause, Remus speaks again “I’ll make it up to you.”

“If you make a sex joke at a time like this-” Logan scolded, they could almost see his grimace.

“No, I mean it,” Remus laughs, “We can do something together. To make up for it.”

“I’d like that.”

Roman looks to his brother, the phone, and then his brother again. To him, it sounded as if Remus had just asked him out on a date, but he knew well enough that Remus and Logan were probably too dense to understand the implications.

“I’ll uh-I’ll talk to you ‘bout it later then, kay boobear?” Remus asks while staring at Roman, confused about the ‘oh-my-god-you-totally-like-him’ look he’s getting.

“Alright. Goodnight, Remus.” Logan’s voice drips honey and roses as he wishes him goodnight, there is so much Roman can hear wrapped up in that simple sentence and it’s a wonder to him.

“Goodnight.” 

The call ends and Remus lets out a dreamy sigh. 

Roman winds back and smacks Remus with a pillow in excited fervour. 

“You did not tell me you were that in love with Logan!” 

“Wha-You asshole!” Remus takes the pillow and smacks him back, “I am not in love with him!”

“Yeah right! That was the gayest conversation I’ve ever heard!” He nearly shouts, getting up and grabbing more pillows from the collection at the head of his bed.

“We didn’t even say anything juicy!” Teases Remus, grabbing pillows at lightning speed, preparing for what he knows is coming.

“It was in the tone! And don’t say juicy like that you dolt!” 

Remus hits Roman with a pillow to the face. With an excited cackle, Roman launches an attack, throwing as many of his numerous pillows at his brother as he can. There is an all-out war within seconds. Both boys are shrieking and laughing. By the end of the pillow fight, they’re breathless and more joyful than they have been all day.

“How do you feel about a sleepover?” 

Good. Remus feels very good about a sleepover. That night while laying in Roman’s dumb red sheets, cuddling up to his brother in the way that little kids do, he feels happy. Really happy. Genuinely happy. Logan had told him that it was hard to love somebody when they didn’t act as if they loved you back, and he was right. The smartass was always right. Now though, he felt it. His brother had cared, ran for him like he was the only thing that mattered to him in the world. He loves Roman. Apparently, Roman loves him too. His brother hugs him closer in his sleep. That’s more than enough for his brain to quiet tonight. 

Addendum; August 20th -

Remus went missing this afternoon. It worried me greatly, but he turned out alright. Things between the Grimm twins seem to be better. On August 21st, they arrived to practice bickering but holding hands. They both appeared near ecstatic all day, needless to say, it was tiring. There will be no more need for the “Roman Incidents” section of this notebook.

Circled in red pen, written largely at the bottom of the page, underlined three times over. 

Note: Investigate your true feelings for Remus Grimm.

[missdawnandherdusk]

Life Update

It’s me, your humble author, here for a little update. 

My last fic seemed to hit hard with some of you, whether it was empathetic or sympathetic, I’ve seen your responses to it. And I know that some of you are concerned, and I love that I mean so much to you that you’re willing to reach out. It’s a sweet feeling that makes me smile and gives me an affirmation with each message. 

And right now, I really am trying to figure out how I feel about my recent breakup. I know that I don’t want to go back to him. And sifting through the memories brings back some more somber moments and somber thoughts, like the ones you read in Together in Paris. 

It’s been hard for me, yes. And maybe I can share some of it with you. Maybe writing it out will make me feel better, or feel something. I know I have a habit of going numb and avoiding things that might hurt me, but I think it’s time I open my heart up a bit, and I feel safe with you all. 

It’s true. He was supposed to be my happily ever after. He was my prince charming who came to save me from an awful home life, terrible mental health, and well, just about everything else. For a long time I believed that he was my forever. My Edward, my Wesley, my Winchester, my Chat Noir, my Captain America, my guardian angel, my soulmate. The little girl inside of me who craved being saved had found her savior and she loved him with all of her heart. There was no one who knew me better for a long time. Though every heartache he was there. When friends turned and walked out on me, when I had tough decisions to make, when I needed someone to lean on, he was there. He was my everything. 

And I gave up so many things. I compromised so many times just to keep him. Things that I’ll never get back. I never stole his sweatshirts because he didn’t own any. We never had a song, he rarely liked my taste in music. I never got flowers, or romantic dates. I had to plan them all, if I wanted it, I had to tell him. There was no dancing at prom, no claim of highschool sweethearts, no nights looking up at the stars. No cute photos at holidays. I lost all of the little things for the sake of a savior. 

And I think that’s what wore away at my heart the most. What could have been, what should have been, if he cared a little more. Words only got so far. “Of course I love you,” “I’ll try harder,” “I’m not good at this kinda stuff,” “I don’t care,” They were empty promises piled up on top of the promise of forever. 

And even though I was with him, I started to define myself, and I liked that he was apart of my definition, but he wasn’t the entire definition anymore. But that’s all I was to him. I was on a pedestal to him. And I wanted off, desperately. But he refused.  

 Everything he did, he claimed to do for me, then complained about how it drained him. He’d work non stop for money to go to school for me, then complain about his day or refuse to get proper sleep. And I’d tell him to sleep, to take care of himself, and he didn’t. He said he couldn’t. And it’s hard watching someone self destruct while you’re desperately telling them to get help, to listen, to do something different. Anything different. 

And that hurt. A lot. It hurt watching him cling to a shadow of me and say he loved me again and again and I couldn’t say it back. I couldn’t believe him anymore. He didn’t love me. He loved the idol. 

And he never listened. That’s what killed me. When we fought, when I tried to tell him where he was going wrong, when I tried to help him, he’d get mopey and “woe is me” and victimize himself to a point where I felt backed into a corner. Where I didn’t want to talk to him because he was only interested in hearing “I love you” or complaining to me. He didn’t want to know about my day. He didn’t care what music captured my heart. 

He never read my writing. 

Maybe once, he did a few years ago. But I can assure you that I’ve gotten “later” from him for about a year. A “later” that never came. And that hurt a lot. I pour my heart out into my writing. It’s a world that I can create and destroy if I want to and I love my worlds, I love my writings, and he never read them. He never cared. He made excuses. And he was also manipulative with it because one of the only writings that he read of mine from this blog is my ace headcanon list, then proceeded to yell at me and gaslight me for writing it making me feel bad because he had reacted wrong and golly gee I’m Mad and Hurt So after a while, I just stopped trying.

And it was sad, because he never noticed that I stopped trying. He probably thought that I was being complaint. Another compromise. 

And I came to the realization that I didn’t want to share my life with him because he didn’t want to be in my life. He wanted my love and affection and the security that I offered. 

He knew it was wrong. He told me he knew. Again and again he said he’d change. He’d get better, he’d keep trying. And trying. And... not trying. He never changed. He never kept that promise. 

And that kills me too. 

I wrote “there are songs about the ones who got away, but they never ask her why she left, do they?” 

This is why I had to leave.

Because I’m not a fighter. I’m a pacifist. I’ll go in peace without a word. Without an argument. A clean break. I can go and never tell my side of the story. I’m okay with rumors about me because I know who I am on the inside. And I’ve worked damn hard for that and I’m proud of it. 

But no one knows any of this. And he’ll never see this because he’ll try to turn it back on me. 

So, I’ve made a clean break for it. I’ve blocked him on social media and on here. I don’t want to try to fit him into my life anymore because it was exhausting. And I never knew how tired it made me until he was gone. 

So yes, it hurts. It hurts because I thought I had found my everything. I was convinced that I had, and he let me down. He let me down and he refused to accept that and he refused to ever let me believe that. It hurts because I gave up so many things for him and now I can never get them back. And that hurts. It really does. 

And right now, I have to disassociate him from my series, because those are the stories of us. And they’re supposed to have happy endings and a man who stays and changes for the better but I have no idea how to write that now, because it didn’t happen to me. So please, don’t expect me to figure out how to finish those series because I have no idea what to do now. I’m scared and alone without a prince charming for the first time in my life and writing career and it’s terrifying. And I know you all love them, I do, but I can’t do it. I don’t know how to do it. I don’t know how to give you a happily ever after because my was torn from me by the one who promised it to me. 

And that hurts the most. 

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[noorengels]

reasons i am sad (friendship edition)

in year 4 my best friend invited everyone to her birthday party and not me and they all actually kept it a secret really well they almost pulled it off except she held her party in la plaza which basically is the hangout spot for families in that area i spent all my fridays there playing until midnight bc literally everyone from school would go. so i was walking home with my entire family inc grandparents and uncles and we went through la plaza and there they were! every single one of my friends at her party! apparently her mum didnt let her invite me bc apparently i hit her which i didn’t i hit another girl so her excuse is invalid and its the first time ive been so publicly excluded i cried on a bench.

in year 7 we hated this girl bc she was so fake i genuinely believe she is a psychopath like she has all the symptoms except shes in set 5 maths lol so my friend was like what if i spread a rumour about her and i was like lol do it and she did and for some reason i was blamed??? and lost all of my friends and she bullied me so hard but i didnt realise bc i was “friends” with her bc our mums were friends so shed like walk with me to lessons and talk to me while belittleing me and idk she was just a fucking bitch she made me feel so horrible like it was emotional bullying but also like telling everyone who i liked and saying lmao you literally have no friends “count how many friends you have? omg you literally cant even reach ten can you???” like in front of everyone but then shed also be really nice to me at the same time like idk it was like she was my friend but she bullied me it was so horrible saffa i hate you and the original friend who spread the rumour went on to become her best friend for like 6 years so uh hate that

managed to make friends with people not in my class in year 8! which sucked bc saffa had alienated people in my class so now they all just didnt like me i was the weird girl with no friends because of her and it was so horrible bc id always be forced to join the ready made groups between friends by the teacher  bc i didnt have a group to work with or id get paired with the weird girl like i was only the weird girl after saffa made everyone hate me this girl was weird bc she just is idk 

in year 10 they made a gc without me! i basically created that group tho like i gathered these friends i hade made in different lessons (obviously not in my main class lol) and they literally just??? decided to exclude me for no reason. and then theyd talk about what they talked about in the gc in front of me like “omg remember last night on the gc” isha ur so fucking boring no normal person talks about their gc with the same people again do u have no other conversational points smh

in year 11 it got so bad to the point where once i sat with them and they all just left! like they took their stuff and moved to the table behind me i wanted to cry so bad i did at home i think its the worst one out of all of these because it happened to my face? idk saffa was horrible too but this was just “were leaving” idk like ive never felt as horrible as i did in that moment i cant even describe how im feeling rn reliving it

its okay bc i made friends with my best friend from sciences + history bc our surnames are next to each other so we always sat together! i honestly clung to this girl after that bc i refused to spend a second longer with that other group after 3 years of enduring not even being liked by ur friends so i made friends with her friends which was easy bc yes! 

so by the first term of year 12 i had three friends! in fact one of them was like ur not having a birthday party??? im taking u out to eat so my first birthday event thing in literally years was all thanks to arun i am honestly so grateful for him he didnt even go bc he was busy and we planned it the day before my birthday but it was literally me and two friends eating pizza at zizzis and im crying so much rn but year 12 was when i found people who genuinely cared about me

we established a group of like 8 lol and were planning a holiday for the end of year 13! very skam of us! we had a gc and everything! we were gonna go to spain bc im spanish so i could speak!

this trip was unspoken of in year 13 and i was like lol kinda weird um okay but nope nothing weird about it they just created a chat without me and were still going to spain!!! one of them even sent me screenshots of their airbnb to translate its like u want me to know lol

i did complain to one of them but thats it i was just hurt on my own and coronavirus happened so it got cancelled anyways so i won really

in yr 13 i also got closer to this boy called adam! i remember my friend was like you two would get on so well idk why ur not friends and i was like idk its adam lol do i really want to and yes i did bc he is in fact the isak to my sana! but anyways i hate him but i love him we have that kinda friendship where were alwAYS trying to beat the other one up and honestly the most heart felt goodbye when schools shut was between us both bc at first we were fighting and then he just stopped and his eyes softened and i was like whats wrong with you why arent u punching me and he went come here and we hugged and its like wow despite being a dick ill miss you

anyways so uhhh quarantine we skyped often it was fun and then restrictions were lifted i went to spain and the second i land they all stop talking in the gc????? like im abroad not dead why are u creating a new one??? this gc was agressively spammed so i know for a fact theres another im not stupid

i come back from spain and theyre like can we meet!!! we meet three weeks later and theyr like i missed u so much im so happy uou came i love you and it felt really genuine like they genuinely missed me

two days later i find out through snapchat theyve all gone on holiday together!!!!!!!!!!!!! all of them and just ofc didnt invite me they went to the beach for two days and kept posting about it and im so bitter about it like bro???????? why so secretive????? like i cried so much when i saw bc they still just idk why does every single friendgroup ive ever been in exclude me like i must be the problem theres no other explanation for it i am not the kind of person people want to have around i am so funny but im a bitch and will come for ur ass because i have the inability to lie i have no filter either which i know makes them dislike me i know it does but thats the price you oay for being my friend i just say things as it is becauxe i hate secrets bc secrets are always about excluding me so i rather be honest and upfront but that clearly puts people off bc im too upfront and im not getting a personality transplant im not tryna be boring but im so sick of always being the one on her own

adam was relevant uh hews my only friend rn he checked up on me the other day so cheers adam for making sure im not completely isolated

the funny thing is that all my friends hate adam bc “hes a dick” hes not he just says things how it is were so similar so if they hate adam they hate me and im over being hated lol bye!

i start uni next week and i clearly have no social skills so im not gonna make friends im so scared of being lonely i hate being left out

this went from sad to full on angry like i was crying at some point and now im fuming like im so hot rn my blood pressure isnt doing okay

[usedtobeyours]

try hard dick energy: a fairytale

try hard dick energy got his nickname after almost 3 months of me seeing him

he used to be soft dick energy first. 

we met through friends, as i usually like it to go. 

on a regular thursday, we started chatting and we kind of fit. his music seemed to be a perfect match to my favorites. i listened to his playlist that whole week. 

a week later we met at said friends’ home, on the day before a holiday. 

my first impression was meh. but than again, it had been over 5 months since i even kissed another guy. 

conversation went on, and my thinking was: wow, i can actually be friends with this dude

then we got drunk and he ended up waiting for when my friend went to the bathroom to kiss me. again, a meh kinda kiss. but again, 5 months. it still felt nice, butterflies and all. 

i was on my period, maybe day four of it. after my friend went to sleep, we started drunkenly making out and he tried taking my clothes off. i was like no, no way, i have my period. and he said he didn’t mind. i wasnt sure i did. 

then, a call that was just the best to get. friend #2 coming home from a date. we chatted on the dining room and i tried keeping her there for as long as i could before she started bobbing her head. to this day, he swears i was making faces at her for her to leave. that’s certainly not how i remember that. 

she went to bed, we made out for a while, i took my menstrual cup out and we fucked. and we slept just as we were. i don’t remember much, but i do remember him saying: “was it too fast?” and like a good girl, i said it didnt matter. that’s how he got his soft dick energy nickname as i retold that story on the day after.

oh, the day after. we slept at around 6, and he was out of the apartment as i was still sleeping. my friends and i wanted to go to the beach, but that part of the story doesn’t matter much for this tale. we talked. and talked.

on thursday, two days later, i was headed to my guy best friend’s house bringing my other best friend - #1 from the first story. he picked us up from her place - his place was closest to my guy best friends house, but he did it anyway. we sat, and we got high, and drunk. we made out whenever everybody wasn’t around. i had to teach him that people don’t smoke inside people’s homes without asking - and in the window. duh.  

he then left for a weekend away with his friends. it was the first time i missed him, and i spiraled into a weird depression mood from lack of attention. that’s how needy i was. am. 

from then on we didn’t see each other for two whole weeks. he traveled, then i traveled, and weekdays were never his thing. we still talked everyday, and kept up with each others lives. we shared stickers, and said we missed each other. just the weird 16 year-old romance i yearned for. 

we met again three weeks later. he really wanted to go to my girl best friend’s house, but she didn’t really want him there. we went for a beer on the beach - which turned into 6 really quick. by 10 pm, he forced his way into my girlfriends’ house, even though she didnt want him there. we made out a bit, and he left. i was so in love.

then the chat continued slower than before. carnaval went by, he didn’t want to join us for it. i moved, he didn’t want to come by. we seemed to chat, but it always revolved around him. he took up 3 weeks of my therapy sessions, but i kept chatting. it was good. it filled up my neediness - and my time. it was like a long distance relationship. weekends were lonely and kind of sad. my luck is that bracco was in rio, and i was getting to know noemi. they kept me busy. 

he moved into a new apartment. it was around his birthday. i think it 15 days that we didnt see each other, but it felt like a month. that day it was all SO clear to me. 

you invited me over to your place. i hadnt seen you in forever, but you said i shouldnt bring anything. i drank a beer on my way there, out of nervousness. i also brought you m&ms. your roommate was wearing a bra in the living room. she was nice, we drank beer, smoked, and chatted. it felt weird. and then, she came up with the whole depressed comment.

let me explain: we were talking about her sabbatical, she wanted to go away for a year once she was 27. i was sharing resources and a bit of my miami experience. she then said: “oh, miami. thats where you got depression”. as if depression was something you catch. as if i told her about it. as if you told her about it and she felt we had a relationship where she could just bring that up?! not sure. i was weirded out for the rest of the night. at some point, you brought me into your room and kissed me. i couldnt really get into it. you said: “we dont have to do anything”, but you kept kissing and groping me. it’s not like you backed off and said: “whats going on?”

so i caved, and we fucked. and it was mechanical. and short. and plain out boring. i left 20 minutes after, and you seemed to be happy i did. 

my brain was a mix of feelings. i was in love, but then everything about that night was so fucking weird. being with you felt weird. the next day, you were weird too... i tried calling, but you called me back right when it was bbb time. 

and i was talking to noemi in the balcony, and it was a whole thing about not being available for people who dont show themselves available. we didnt talk again until saturday, and i decided to cut you off for good. i unfollowed you on social, unfollowed myself from your page, deleted your number. it wasnt until wednesday that you realized and reached out. 

you were all: we havent talked to each other in a week, and im also to blame for that... and so i told you i was upset about more than one thing that happened on wednesday, you exposed me to your roommate and i felt invaded. so i decided to pull myself away from this relationship. you apologized, but took no responsability for the rest of non caring. and thats what i wanted. so i cut you off. 

it was two weeks, and two therapy sessions in which my therapist said i should have talked to you before cutting you off. and turning you off was good: i started focusing on shit that mattered to me. 

but then i rethought it all. and i said, maybe we should have a grown up conversation. so i followed you, and opened up the conversation again. you said you were happy - you never thought you’d hear from me again. 

but you did. and i told you i was open for talking, and for getting things back as they were. you said you were too, but then you disappeared for two other weeks. 

and i felt done. over it. truly with no intent to see it moving. conversation was off and on. until last week it took on again. and we chatted for two days before you suggested a visit to my place. i was okay with it, cause then again, quarantine neediness is always present. and - for the first time ever - you were here on friday. you brought wine and condensed milk.

we chatted for two hours and it was boring as fuck. i hoped my roomies would join us. they did. and so did our friends. we drank and smoked and talked until 2, once again. but you decided to stay over, they went home, and it was just the two of us. 

i wanted to sleep. everything felt so fucking awkward. i pretended to fall asleep while you cuddled me. so fucking odd. i just wanted to me alone and starfish my bed while hovering all my pillows. and then you noticed i wasn’t up for sex, or making out for that matter.

you asked: are you still upset over my roommate?

i said no. why would i be? we talked it over and it’s over. do you want to talk about this still?

you said no. but you still felt something wrong.

and i said, yes. something is wrong. sex has never been good with you. i need you to have something we call pegada.

and you made an excuse once or twice. but somehow we hooked up again and you had pegada.

we fucked, and it was good, for once. better than “huh, i guess i had sex”

i fell asleep, feeling it was so weird to have you here.

i woke up to my alarm, got ready, and you wouldnt budge. i said i had to go, and you said you wanted to sleep in. i said i would be back in an hour, and i went to work.

you texted at work. you used my computer and god knows what you digged up off it. 

and then i came back, we had breakfast, and you didnt want to leave. we cuddled and watched a show. you tried kissing me but position was all weird. yet, it was good having you around.

you had a whole 2 hour meeting in my bedroom, in my computer. shivers. the whole time i was telling my roommate: the affection is nice, but oh no, im done.

and after your meeting we fucked gooood good. you got a promotion on your soft dick title. and fuck, i fell into it as well.

you left right after, as if you knew you got me hooked again. and again, chatting daily, you dont feel there. but we made plans for saturday.

mafe, mafe. why again. this boy definetly doesnt want you the same way you want him. yet you;re still there, as available as ever... i thought writing this might give me clarity. nope. 

[drkcnry67]

Sleeping beauty: a twisted supernatural fairytale

A/n: this is for 4 different bingo challenges... hope people like this one! Show it some love if you loved it.

Title: sleeping beauty: a twisted supernatural fairytale

Pairing: dean x reader

Spn Dark sq: free space (shadow/fear demon)

Share the love bingo sq: sleeping beauty

Fluff sq: soulmate AU

H&H sq: Gabriel

Rating: pg-13

summery: not telling

created for @spnfluffbingo​  @spndarkbingo​  @heavenandhellbingo​  @thisismysecrethappyplace​

Once upon a time in a kingdom oh so far away lived a king & his fair queen. for many years they had longed for a child & finally their wish was granted.

a daughter born to them whom they called YN. for they named her after the dawn for she filled their hearts with sunshine. a great holiday planned to honor the princess for the entire kingdom rejoiced at her birth.

as more people graced the party, the party got stronger. amongst those to arrive were King John & his son Prince Dean. fondly had these monarchs dreamed that one day their kingdoms unite.

thus that day they announced Dean, John’s son and Heir to Castiel’s daughter be betrothed. so to her his gift he brought as he looked unkowing on his future bride.

Page: their most honored and exalted excellencies, the 3 good fairies. Mistress Claire, Mistress Jo & mistress Alex...

the 3 fairies approached, now addressing Castiel and his queen.

Fairies: your majesties!

in courtly fashion they all curtsied.

Claire: each of us the child may bless with a single gift, no more no less.

claire approached the craddle, with a wave of her wand she spoke these words.

Claire: little princess, my gift shall be the gift of beauty...

~one gift, beauty rare. full of sunshine in her hair. lips that shame the red red rose. she’ll wake with springtime wherever she goes.~

Jo was next to approach the craddle, with a wave of her wand she spoke these words.

Jo: tiny princess, my gift shall be the gift of song.

~one gift, the gift of song. melody her whole life long. the nightingale’s her troubadour. bringing her sweet serenade to her door.~

Alex stepped up to the craddle, she walked and raised her want tostart her speech but something soon would disrupt her wish.

Alex: “sweet princess, my gift shall be...

a gust of wind blows blazing through the castle doors, they swing wide open. with wind and thunder crashing through, in a blaze of fire in the middle of the crowd appeared Rowena.

Claire, jo and Alex all in states of shock at the sight of Rowena who speaks now.

Rowena: well quite the glittering assemblage King Castiel. Royalty, nobility, the gentry and how quaint even the rebel.

alex tries to fly towards Rowena but is held back by Claire.

Rowena: i really felt quite distressed at not recieving an invitation

Alex now more than a little peaved speaks.

Alex: you weren’t wanted.

Rowena: not wa...? oh dear, what an awkward situation. i had hoped it was merely due to some oversight. well in that event i’d best be on my way. 

queen: and your not offended your excellency?

Rowena: why no your majesty. and to show i bear no ill will i too shall bestwo a gift on the child. 

the fairies back up to protect the craddle. 

rowena: listen well all of you! the princess shall indeed grow in grace and beauty, beloved by all who know her. but, before the sun sets on her 16th birthday, she shall prick her finger on the spindle of a spinning wheel & die.

queen: oh no!

queen takes her child in her arms as rowena maniacly laughing...

castiel: seize that creature!

rowena: stand back you fools!

in a flash of fire and lightning as well as laughter rowena disappeared!

Claire: dont despair your majesties, Alex still has her gift to give.

Castiel: then she can undo this fearful curse?

Alex: oh no sire.

Jo: Rowena’s powers are far too great.

Claire: but she can help.

Alex: but...

Jo: just do your best dear!

Claire: yes...

Alex rolls up her sleeves and proceeds to speak her part.

Alex: sweet princess, if through this wicked witches trick a spindle should your finger prick, a ray of hope there still maybe in this, the gift i give to thee. not in death, but just in sleep the fateful prophecy shall keep, and from thy slumber thee shall wake when true loves kiss the spell shall break.

~for true love conquers all~

but castiel still fearful of his daughter’s life, did then and there decre that every spinning wheel on that very day be burnt. so it was done!

~this is the first jump out of fairytale reality and into our own reality where dean is picking up watching this classic fairytale & trying to get some shudeye.~

dean: if i have one more flippin’ dream about this movie im gonna kill someone.

sam: dont worry about it Dean, its not gonna get better with you yelling & screamin’... now try to get some sleep! we have a long drive ahead of us tomorrow!

Dean: yeah your right.

Dean throws his headphones on again trying to coax himself into a relaxing sleep. which Gabriel  had set so Dean would not wake from his sleep till the story would finish, then his destined quest would begin.

Gabriel: sweet dreams Dean. you have a really rude awakening ahead of you... everything you know is about to change...

gabriel casts his curse & leaves dean to his tormented slumber that which awaits him.

~jump back into the story, where we find the 3 fairies talking with Castiel and the queen~

Claire: your majesty please consider this a kind of protection detail, this will allow your sweet YN to grow up in peace without the worry of her pricking her finger when her 16th birthday hath fully passed your sweet YN will be returned to you. to ensure the curse does not come true.

queen: you 3 have always been here even when we havent always honored it, we do so appreciate your loyalty and protection. this has surely been a trying day for us and we are honored to have you 3 commited to helping us protect our daughter.

Castiel:  and it is on our honor that, you 3 shall go with our blessing. please be careful & guard our child well...

many hours later after dark, the king and his queen watched with heavy hearts as thier most precious possesssion their only child disappeared into the night..

many sad and lonely years passed for King Castiel and his peopple. but as the time for the pincess’ 16th birthday drew near, the entire kingdom began to rejoice. for everyone knew that as long as rowena’s domain, the forbidden mountains, thundered with her wrath and frustration her evil prophecy had not yet been fullfilled. 

rowena yells at her incompetant servents, they encur her wrath. rowena sends out her own raven to search for the princess. 

and so for 16 long years, dean had been learning how to live life as a prince. while the wereabouts of the princess remained a secret, the faires carried out their long laid planes living like mortals.

the fairies send Yn to collect some berries while they argue about the kind of last birrthday party they wish to give her, the dress color the cake and the cleaning something extra special for their last night as her guardians.

YN decides to stop in the glen... she feels like something is wrong thats when your real self breaks through... 

YN: omg what am i doing in here? 

as you keep singing you try to remember wht happened to put you in here. sure was your fave movie but it was not how you wanted to live.

Dean was riding Chuck the horse, the scene still happens the singing in the glade, dean hearing your singing following the animals that are stealing his cape, boots and hat. 

your still singing by yourself but now kinda talking to the animals. after that kind of normal conversation you notice that some of your animal friends have come back dressed as a prince. you started singing and continued to dance with your animal friends, but thats when Dean had snuck up and hid in the bush, he waited for his oportune moment.

YN: but if i know you, i know what you’ll do, you’ll love me at once... the way you did...

thats when your vocals were interrupted by another voice to complete your song.

Dean: once upon a dream.

though it wasnt exactly ideal, your hands interacting, it felt more real than you had this entire time. waltzing through the glade by the lake, made your real self shine through. Dean could feel his real self shine through as well.

Dean: are you real?

that question made you look at him instantly. another person whose not really the character he is pretending to be.

YN: you’re real... your an actual person, not just a fairytale character?

Dean: yes, i’m real, what’s your name?

YN: YN, outside this ever turning story book fairytale movie thing im a hunter.... this story just keeps repeating itself everytime someone watches this movie. i have no idea what the hell put me into this neverending storybook. im annoyed greatly but strange thing is i can’t feel any connection right now to my actual body...

Dean: im a hunter as well. my name is Dean. i hunt everything that goes bump in the night from ghosts to demons and everything in between. i am also not sure how i got in here.

YN: your a hunter as well... i thought i was the only one.

Dean: whats the last thing you can remember before waking up here in the story?

YN: i was on a strange case, one thing made me think it was a werewolf. one thing made me think it was a ghost. one thing made me think it was a poltergeist. i remember walking out of my hotel room and that is it. nothing else after that. it sends shivers down my spine when i think of what may be going on with my actual body. how did you end up in here?

Dean: last thing i rememebr is turning on the movie to watch/listen too while i try to sleep. thats it... i have no fucking idea how i ended up in here. as to you saying that you can feel no connection to your physical body, something magical must be blocking the connection, but non-the-less i want to help you. i will finish the story so i can get out of here and find you. i will slay whatever i have to in order to free you, in the story and in reality. i will not rest till i rescue you.

you both continued on in the story, as they say it must continue or the end will not come. but it was nice for both of you to know that neither of you were alone. 

the 3 fairies gave you your birthday surprise and told you of your true heritage then whisked you away to the castle where they hid you; dean showed up at the cottage where Rowena prince-napped him; you are led away by rowena’s curse to prick your finger in a hidden tower room the 3 fairies find you laying you down in “your” room; then they put the kingdom to sleep till someone can wake their sweet YN. 

~meanwhile outside the story Sam is working with other people to figure out what happened to dean. Ellen, Jo and Bobby all were doing everything they could to help Sam figure out what happened to Dean.~

 Back in the story: many sleeping people but the fairies were trying to find out who the handsome stranger was that their sweet Yn had been talking about. they figured he might be their key to saving her. 

but soon it was claire who had been doing a round to make sure all of her section was asleep but it was John’s voice that caught her ear for he started talking about how he had spoken to Dean who had been raving about some pesent girl and how Dean had said he was gonna marry her and such. 

claire managed to suss out that it was Dean that Yn had met in the forest. the words she had heard from John that had firmed her suspicions were Peasent girl & once upon a dream...

claire flies back to Jo and Alex and speaks in raced tones of panic.

Claire: the young man that YN was talking about is Prince Dean. come on girls we have to get back to the cottage.

as fast as their wings could carry them, they rushed back to the cotage but alas were too late for all they found was Dean’s hat no Dean. they conclude that it must have been Rowena who has dean trapped in her forbiiden palace. their minds made up immediately, they had to go there.

Dean, the only one true person who is able to awaken their Sweet YN... they had to find him to save her. off they went no plan in hand just ‘winging’ it as they went, weaving their way through the grounds passed the guards... 

Rowena was in her throne room watching her lackys celebrate. to her raven she speaks.

Rowena: what a pitty prince Dean cant be here to enjoy the celebration. come my pet let us go to the dungeon and cheer him up...

the raven she was just talking too cawed at her as she got up and started walking towards the dungeon where she had been keeping dean.

~*reality jump!!! Dean is still unconcious while Sam is runnning around like a chicken with his head cut off trying to figure out what the hell happened to his brother*~

Sam: i don’t want lecutures. i want to know what happened to Dean.

Bobby: dont worry boy, dean is strong, he will pull through whatever is happening to him. do you have any theories?

Sam: im thinking maybe some sort of curse or something but no signs of any hex bags or nothing surrounding dean. there has to be something we are overlooking. some angle that we have missed.

~*back in the story, dean is stuck in the dungeon not even phased when rowena walks in the door.*~

Rowena: oh come now prince dean why so mellon colly. a wondrous future awaits you. you the destined hero of a charming fairytale come true.

the fairies arrive in the window hiding from the raven and rowena but witness what rowena depicts to Dean through her Staff.

Rowena: behold, king castiel’s castle &and in yonder top most tower, dreaming of her true love, the princess YN. but see the gracious whim of fate. why tis the same said peasent maid who won the heart of our noble prince the other day. she is indeed most wondrous fair. gold of sunshine in her hair, lips that shame the red red rose. in ageless sleep she finds repose. the years roll by, but a hundred years to a stead fast hear are ‘bout a day. and now, the gates of the dungeon part and our prince is free to go his way. off he rides on his noble steed. a valiant figure, straight & tall to wake his love with love’s first kiss & prove that true love conquers all...

Dean struggles against his chains, alex starts towards rowena but is held back by Claire as rowena brings her raven back onto her shoulder as they prepare to exit the dungeon she says one final thing in Deans presense.

Rowena: ah my pet let us leave our noble prince with these happy thoughts.

she exits the dungeon leaving Dean struggling against his bonds. the 3 fairies enter the cell using their magic to release dean from the chains and unlock the door. Dean starts towards the door but is stopped by Claire who proceeds to speak.

Claire: wait prince Dean, the road to true love may yet still be barred by much more dangers, which you alone shall have to face. so arm thyself with this enchanted shield of virtue, and this mighty sword of truth. for these weapons of righteousness shall triumph over evil. now come we must hurry.

out of the dungeon they went but rowena’s raven had stayed behind after rowena and the raven exited the dungeon. he started cawing at them, Dean was thinking this would be easy escape. but he was wrong. the raven was bringing an army of lackies downt he stairs to them. dean begins to fight them off.

Claire: quick Dean jump out the window.

Dean jumps out the same window as the fairies, but some rocks start falling towards Dean. Claire notices and speaks quickly.

Claire: Dean watch out!

Claire turns the rocks into bubbles. then a wall of arrows quickly turned into a wall of flying flowers, alex went down to free chuck. dean rides off on chuck towards the gate where hot oil is thrown, claire turns it into a rainbow.

the chase of a lifetime made alex proud as she chased that raven to the top of rowena’s tower & turned it to stone. this made rowena emerge, freshly woken from her sleep she goes to yell at her raven but discovers that her pet has been turned into stone. 

she watches from her balcony as the drawbridge is being raised, dean and the fairies are heading straight for it, the fairies help him make the jump. chuck keeps running, carrying Dean as quick possible, dodging rowena’s two spells that she has cast causing them to fail. 

in straight eye sight for Dean and the fairies is the castle, but before they can reach it Rowena makes her second last attempt to stop them.

Rowena: a forest of thorns shall be his tomb. born from the skies in a fog of doom. now go with a curse and serve me well. round Castiel’s castle cast my spell.

a black cloud appears over the castle, lightning striking the grounds around, thus causes icky thicky black thorns to grow in large bushes between Dean and the castle. 

Dean stops before them, drawing his sword he fights his way through the thorns this let him out just before the bridge to the castle. rowena seeing this appears before Dean in a firey blaze for her final attempt to stop them.

Rowena: now shall ye deal with me oh prince & all the powers of hell!

Dean and the fairies watch as Rowena using every ounce of power she had left to transform herself into a huge fire spying dragon. Dean begins what turns into a short-ish fight but retreats hastly reaching a wall he climbs high. 

our prince is now trapped on a cliff, another blaze of fire this causes Dean to loose his shield off the side of the cliff. Claire jo & alex bring their collective magic together near the prince they cast this on the sword.

Claire: now sword of truth fly swift and sure, that evil die & good endure.

dean throws the sword at the dragon piercing its heart. rowena lunges one final time but falls off a cliff to her downfall. dean is then lead down the cliff and to the castle, up to the tower where you lay in slumber waiting for this moment. Dean kneeling by your sleeping form placed a light kiss to your lips. 

you wake up just as time freezes. Dean helps you stand up. both of you looking around. yes the entire movie was frozen. puzzled you both stand in front of eachother. 

Dean: now whats happening.

you went to open your hand to grab Dean’s but something fell to the floor. Dean reached down to pick it up. he unfolded it and proceeded to read what was upon it.

Dean (reading note): congratulations! Defeating that witch takes care of one of my issues, that was of course the easy part. your next task Dean is to find your destiny, yes your destiny lies within the form of this girl. you must go back to reality and find her body and wake her up once you do everything and i do mean EVERYTHING will become clear. want a clue? here it is: “in a place of myth & legend where the balance of nature is true, this place you know it all too well. what you believe isnt real is, everything you know shall change forever. the ways of old shall guide you by, this far side of _________ in the final resting place of _________...” i look forward to seeing you very very soon. try to hurry i hear there is trouble on your horizons. 

now you both were very very very confused. this is what caused you to pop up and say..

YN: what the hell kind of clue was that? any idea what he is talking about? wait does that mean im not in my hotel room anymore. that someone or something moved my body?

Dean: that is exactly what it means and i will do everything in my capable power to find you. hopefully when i get back to reality this paper goes with me... 

just as he finished speaking a portal opens, visions of dean’s unconcious body appear along with Sam and others going frantic over what happened to Dean.

Dean: Yn, i give you my solem oath that i will not rest till you are safe by my side, i will fight whoever, go wherever, do whatever i have to in order to save you. dont give up hope and pray that this loop does not repeat for you. pray this time freeze does not disappear when i walk through that portal. 

YN: i have faith in you Dean please hurry. i look forward to never leaving your side.

Dean placed a chaste kiss to your forehead before he walked through the portal. you sat on the bed and watched as Time remained frozen but you were once again alone.

Dean arrived back in his own body, he sat straight up and scared the living daylights out of his brother, bobby and several others all of whom embraced Dean. 

Dean then went to where Sam’s laptop was and began searching the lore, the myths and legends specifically. when Sam approached him about what he was doing, Dean presented sam with that note. suddenly it made mroe sense to Sam, who left Dean in the charge of Jo while he, bobby and ellen all went to grab food and booze. 

Jo: what happened to you?

Dean: one minute i was in that bed trying to fall asleep using a disney movie & the next thing i know im inside the movie. im telling you i would have preferred Hell. but i wasnt the only person from reality stuck in the movie. there was a girl, she said she is a hunter too she was on a strange case when she found herself in the movie. she has no idea of how long she has been in there. she also thinks her body has been moved. this piece of paper proves that someone or something is holding her body somewhere and its up to me to find this girl. at this point nothing else matters. i made her a promise now i have to keep it. 

Jo: let me see the paper again...

Dean hands Jo the paper and after a few moments of staring at it she takes a pen and fills in the blanks... thats when the paper glowed... and revealed a magical map... 

Dean: how did you do that?

Jo just smiled and laughed...

Jo: im really good at fill in the blanks. its a natural talent i get it from mom... your clue should have finished like this:   “in a place of myth & legend where the balance of nature is true, this place you know it all too well. what you believe isnt real is, everything you know shall change forever. the ways of old shall guide you by, this far side of Romania in the final resting place of Dracula...”

Dean hugged her, he knew where he had to go now but how the hell was he gonna get there. it was then that Dean went to load several of his handhelds and load onto his back a machete load up some ammo clips. 

he didnt know what to expect but he was certain that being cautious was better than being stupid. he was not gonna walk in there half assed. he needed to be as prepared as could be. however thats when bobby, sam and ellen walked back into the room. 

Sam: Dean what are you doing?

Dean: im getting ready before i call cas for transport. this will allow me to not get dinged by airport security and not to become sea sick either. but i hope honestly that this mission im about to embark on is gonna be beneficial. 

Bobby: what the hell do you think your doing? never mind that where are you going?

Dean: romania, Jo has the knowledge on why i am going to romania, she will fill you guys in... ill take my burger to go. put my pie in the fridge. 

once Dean is ready to go, he stands in the center of the room and smiles back at the others but then Jo pipes up and goes to stand beside Dean with a backpack on her back... 

Dean: Jo what...

Jo: im not letting you walk into your destiny alone. do not for one second think im not gonna jump at this opportunity to hunt with you, to help you to find your destiny. you helped me once to know what my destiny was, now its my turn to repay the favor.

Dean takes Jo by the hand as he in a stern voice he speaks the following words. 

Dean: Castiel get your oh holy feathery ass down here i need a lift and your my ticket to my next destination.

cas comes to the hotel room and approaches Dean & Jo.

Castiel: where am i taking you and your friend here...

Dean: transylvania and dude once we land you cant be there... it will not be helpful for you to be there. this is a mission i have to do alone. me and my friend here go through the rest of the process alone. 

Cas only nods completely understanding on what his friend has asked of him. he takes Dean and Jo to Transylvania. then once they are safe on the ground again cas leaves. 

Dean: okay now to look at this magic map and figure out where we are and where the resting place of Dracula is... 

Jo: well lets first of all make sure we are prepared before we go into town. i did a bit of research apparently they dont trust strangers here. we need to show them that we mean no harm. or just keep our noses down and pass through without being detected. 

Dean: well lets see what the map says. 

Jo leads Dean to a rock as she lays out the map... 

Jo: these 2 dots over here are us... but what is that red dot over yoner on this map... look there is a multicolored one too.... 

Dean: the multicolored one is my destiny, the red one has to be what is holding her captive. 

jo notices some writing appearing on the map after a few moments. 

Jo: whats that say...

Dean: it says, “inside the castle you face your fears, beat them out till you cant no more. fears and demons go hand in hand but if you beat them in order to save your destiny. this is to be your greatest reward.” what the hell does that mean... 

Jo: it means no matter what we need to get to that castle. 

hand in hand they get their tracks moving towards the path...

Jo: i really hope the story of transylvania is fake... 

Dean: you mean the fact that as soon as the sun goes down werewolves and vampires come out to play... you and me both but hey if they do we are fully prepared. this place is on top of a supernatural time  bomb. everything that goes bump in the night comes out after sunset. 

both dean and jo look up into the sky the last bit of light leaves the tree line. 

Dean: have your silver bullets and machete ready just in case... we are not taking any chances. we have to get to that castle. 

Jo: dont worry we will... 

Dean smiles as both of them continue making their way through the forst, a little quicker than normal pace. the sun had now fully set, the light that had been guiding them was gone. 

Jo: just follow the path the map says this will lead us to the castle where your destiny awaits you. Dean are you sure we...

thats when she stopped speaking... her words cut out... Dean pulled out his machete and quickly brought it to face the enemy that now held his best friend back. 

Shadow entity: ah so the prodigal has come for his prize.. well i think ill take a  constitution to ensure that you follow the rules, to ensure the balance is complete, to ensure that we are all in clarity to our debts. to this i have something to say this to you: you are part of the same card, the girl i have sleeping right now is not going to wake up without her other half. you have not done anything to earn her freedom, so i take your friend as kind of a wake up call to the horrors that which wait you inside. this castle has its own story but to unlock its secrets you must face your fears. face them down Dean, only then will you have earned her freedom. see you real soon.

the shadow figure disappears with Jo... Dean picks up her bag and keeps his machete on hand as he continues walking. following the map as he heard the soft crunching of his boots under the snow. winter sure is warmish in whats supposed to be the coldest part of romania. 

Dean (to self): i have no idea what the hell is going on but i now have 2 bright lights to save i am just hoping i can conquer whatever appears before me... Jo for your courage please be my light. guide me to where you are... my dear sister. 

meanwhile Jo has been placed in a room, where you lay in wait for your destiny. Jo takes one look at you and she smiles. she knows that you are definately dean’s destiny and then she speaks the following words. 

Jo: in all my years i had never thought Dean would find his destiny, never after he helped me find mine i swore i would help him find his, now Dear Brother please follow my light...

Dean stops a quick moment to catch his breath and look at the map... he then sees Jo’s dot on the map glow brighter... it acts as a flashlight lighting up the path he must walk. 

after several more steps and following his light he arrives at the castle.

 Dean: here i com ladies... dont loose hope.

Dean holding his machete walked inside the castle.. the first thing he saw was the vision of himself as a demon tellig hm that he was gonna die alone and that he would become that... he told that vision that he would always have a family beside him even if they werent around that cared for him that would never abandon him.

that he went on his way still fllowing the light o the ground he comes accross the first blade which tells him that he fears being back in hell torturing souls and how good it made him feel. dean tells it that he will never and shall never go back to hell and never will he torutue those who dont deserve it again.

a few more fears tried to get dean to turn away from this quest, tried to get him to fail but nothing worked. the last area on the map was a long corridor it looked as thought there was a figure about mid way down. 

the map let off a warning flash meaning there was danger approaching. Dean speaks once more to whatever is trying to face him down.

Dean: i address the entity in front of me. who are you? why have you brought me to this awful place?

Shadow: i am the demonic shadow of Count Dracula and I have brought you here so you can face me in the ultimate battle. Either I will be finally put to rest or I will be made whole again. do you accept my challenge?

Dean drops the bags and keeps both his guns and his machete as he speaks.

Dean: look dumn ass, i dont know who your the spirit or entitiy of but this is not how things are run in my world. in my world the good guys win and the bad guys loose. now if you stand aside and let me wake my destiny and save my sister then you might just get to be put back to sleep again. or ill succeed and kill you right now. your choice, i’m good either way. 

Shadow: you dare to think you stand a chance against me, how cute. very well, if its death you choose then allow me to help you with that.

Dean moved out of the way as the shadow lunged toward him, missed and just landed again.. Dean then shot out 6 rounds of dead mans blood rounds all aimed at shadow-Dracula, he dodged those. 

shadow: tell you what, ill make you a deal if you surrender now ill give you ten long years to spend with your so called “destiny” in exchange for you letting me out of here with my life. 

Dean: how bout not a prayer. eat bullets instead.

Dean unloads the rest of the bullets in a circular form at the ground around shadow-dracula. completing the devils trap... 

Dean: oh wait you dont need to eat the bullets cause your history pal... 

Shadow-dracula looked down and around himself, the look that he now sported was one of fear. he was the one that now was terrified. 

Shadow: this is impossible no one imprisons the great Dracula. 

Dean: oh buddy im gonna do alot more than that, time for you to go back to where you came from. 

Dean stands up tall as he then speaks the same words he had spoken previously hundreds upon hundreds of times. 

Dean:  Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica, ergo draco maledicte, ut ecclesiam tuam secura, tibi facias libertate servire, te rogamus, audios bitch!

that was all Dean had to say the shadow of Dracula was no more. he went back to grab the bags and continued forward... he shot the lock on the doors and kicked them open. 

Jo: Dean you found us... i believe you know what to do romeo... put everything down ill prepare to treat any wounds and such that show themselves once you wake her. 

Dean: Jo it was dracula, the shadow outside the door was dracula’s shadow. i cant believe his shadow was so hostile. i mean if i hadnt wasted 2 clips of amo drawing out a devils trap i would have lost the fight. 

Jo: ya ya ya okay dude, you have an overdue appointment with destiny over on that bed, now drop the bags and go. 

Dean knew jo would have kicked his ass if he didnt listen. he did as told, he dropped the bags and walked over to kneel beside you. he brushed some hair from your forehead..

Dean: together now and always i have always been your once upon a dream.

his lips met yours in a gentle kiss. he pulled back after a few seconds and waited to see if it workd. a while later you open your eyes and touch Dean’s cheek. 

YN: you found me?

Dean: did you doubt i would? i said i would and i keep my promises. this girl over here is my sister Jo.  she is gonna give you the once over and then ill call for our ride out of here once she has you in a clean set of clothes. im gonna make sure we are still safe... i will call cas once we are all ready.

Dean leaves you in the hands of Jo who hands you some clothes and assesses you making sure you are not hurt. Dean comes back a few moments later and calls cas to come bring you all home. 

Cas came brought you, dean and Jo back to the hotel. you and dean were gonna take some time to figure out what everything meant. this was when a bright light came upon the entire room. 

Dean: whats going on?

thats when Gabriel appeared in the room. everyone had hand guns on him immediately. but he speaks not with hostility but with normality.

Gabriel: ah winchesters and friends. do not be alarmed for YN and Dean have been written in the stars since the beginning of time. Dean and Yn im sorry for trapping you both in that sleeeping curse it was the only way to get you both to listen to reason. to listen to your hearts. i was only trying to get you both to follow the rules that destiny had for you. 

Dean: then why show up and tell us about it now...

Gabriel: cause i knew if i didnt it would have been alot worse later on. 

Dean: what happens now?

Gabriel: well with your permission i could marry you and Yn right here right now... if you both agree. 

you and Dean exchange looks before smiling.

Dean: when do we begin?

Gabriel snapped his fingers and the room transformed into a garden glade type thing. before you and Dean could say anything else you were taken from grungy hotel room to garden glade. 

Gabriel: we are gathered here today to join Dean and YN in the ever holy bonds of Matrimony. this holy bond is a sacred gift, that deserves to be protected cherish it now and always. now i am assuming that there are no objections to this holy union.

the room was silent as Gabriel held his hand out and 2 silver bands appeared clearly made for you and Dean. 

Gabriel: vows or no vows.

Dean: what more needs to be said, we already said everything we needed to... we know what we are. we have our feelings, we need no words for them.

Gabriel: very well, Dean take the band and tell Yn what you think should go with this ring!

Dean takes the ring and slowly slides it on your finger as he reveals whats in his heart. 

Dean: YN after the movie and what i had to do to rescue you. i have to say that im 100% positive about you being the single most best thing that has ever stepped into my path of life. i promise now and always to honor, love cherish and whatever else goes with that... i love you Yn your the best part of me now.

you take the ring and you do the same thing.

YN: Dean, when i met you in the movie i was unsure of your intentions. then it was your beautiful green eyes that made me swoon. now i stand here to say i too now and forever more will honor, love, cherish and everything else that goes with it for the rest of my life. you are an amazing man Dean Winchester i love you so much and i cant wait to be your wife and have your last name. 

Gabriel: by the powers and laws bestowed on me by Heaven, i now am honored to pronounce you husband and wife. Dean you may now kiss your beautiful wife. 

Dean kisses you with so much passion. there was nothing to do for everyone else except cheer and clap. 

everyone lived happily ever after. well at least once upon a dream!

[soundofseventeen]

13 Days of Christmas (Jeon Wonwoo)

If you read Terrible Things, this is in the same universe! It was one of my favorites to write!!! Also Joshua Hong has got me fucked up...unedited bc im getting ready for work

Word count: 2392

You could feel it deep in your bones that something was off with Wonwoo. He was generally a happy person; you could tell by the way he walked. When he was happy, he took big strides and if he was in the middle of a story, he would often talk with his hands, and sometimes he could be heard before he could be seen. But when something bugged it, it was darkness loomed over him, no matter how hard he tried to cover it up. Ever since the month started, you could see his spirits deflating by the day. 

Now Christmas was one of your favorite holidays because it brought out the charitable sides of people. And the lights and inflatables made everything feel magical. You often switched between the famous Santa hat to the elf just because.Everything just...felt different. And every time you saw Wonwoo, it was like he lacked something. At first, you thought he caught a bug which is why you stayed at arm’s length for a time. No offense to him, but if you got sick, you’d be sad because the child you adored so much didn’t deserve to be sick.

And then, you asked him if he was still sick and he looked at you funny and you knew he wasn’t sick and you felt foolish. So you made him cookies to make up for it. But when you went to his house, you were surprised that you didn’t find one anything related to Christmas, not a tree or stocking or even a single candy cane. The outside didn’t look like the rest of the neighborhood. And the inside just looked the same. It kinda broke your heart and then it clicked that he was still mourning the death of his wife and you felt even dumber for not noticing that sooner.

He had given you the time off to go home with your friends and family and he’d stay with Daejung. All the other members finally had the chance to spend their Christmases either back home or with the families of their newest love interests. So, you rejected the offer and told him you’d be staying home instead so if he needed you for any type of emergency, you’d be easy to reach.

So you fixed up your house with enough Christmas cheer to take you to the next century and whipped up more food than you thought you had and counted down the days to Christmas. You bought and sent gifts to your deserving family members and some for the boys whenever you saw them again (which you had a hunch would be some time after the new year because the idol life was hard) and you put extra thought and care for the single father and son who you hoped wouldn’t be so lonely anymore. It saddened you to think Dae would grow up without a mother but Wonwoo...Wonwoo lost his best friend and partner in crime. He’d have to watch Dae turn into someone who resembled both. Mrs. Jeon Wonwoo, according to Wonwoo was a spectacular woman so with her in mind, you found something for them for each of them and you hoped they liked it.

*

“Y/N, you didn’t have to go through all that trouble just to have us over,” Wonwoo chided you gently. “It’s just a holiday and Dae won’t even know if missed a Christmas.” He wiped his mouth on the napkin you provided. He wasn’t as he hungry as he looked but you just made the best food he ever tasted, so he just had to get a bite of everything.

You fed Daejung a spoonful of soup you made especially for him while looking at him. “No one should spend it alone, and I wasn’t gonna have anyone over. And since I work for you, isn’t this just another day for us?” You turned to the baby who was expectantly waiting for more. “Alright baby, open up. Alright you wanna feed yourself? Okay, but eat.”

He raised his cup of coffee in a toast but he watched you interact with Dae feeling happy despite the circumstances. His wife had passed away about half a year ago, so while he still struggled to make peace with it, he found comfort in knowing found a close to full time nanny that loved him almost as much as she would’ve. He knew you fell in love with the baby at first sight and Dae himself did so many things for your attention when Wonwoo interviewed you. He finally felt like he made the right choice in choosing. He was still realistic though; he wasn’t gonna ask for your hand in marriage and ask you to raise Dae like he was your own son. But he had to admit he hated the way his heart twisted up at the thought of Dae being old enough to do these things without you.

“Eww, dirty boy,” he saw you affectionately wrinkle your nose at him, “you got the carrots all over yourself. Wow, you finished your potatoes. Do you want more?” Wonwoo was pleasantly surprised when Daejung nodded. “Finish a little bit more juice, my love. Please?”

“Aren’t you gonna eat, Y/N?” He didn’t doubt that your own food would be cold by now. “I can take care of him? We’re your guests.”

You waved him off, standing up and getting Daejung out of his high chair, not minding the mushed vegetables that landed on your white shirt and potentially staining it. You finally sat him on your lap, ready to finally enjoy your meal. “I have noodles, corn, peas and whatever you want...okay maybe not whatever you want but things you can eat.”

“Is he really that hungry?”

“I don’t know much about genetics but I’m almost positive he takes up after you with that.” You pointed at the nearly empty plate and Wonwoo was shocked at how much he managed to eat. “Watch. I’m gonna grab some of the noodles with my chopsticks and then Dae’s gonna grab them and eat them.”

“Aren’t they spicy?” The whole reason he ate nearly everything else except the noodles was for that same reason.

“Wonwoo, if I didn’t know he’d eventually pick at my plate, I would’ve added more spices and everything. Mostly everything I made is safe enough for Dae to eat.”

“Why?”

“Because he will eat just about anything I make, especially if I’m about to eat.” And sure enough, the moment you raised the chopsticks with the noodles, Daejung swiped them and stuffed them in his mouth, giggling like he knew what he was doing. 

Wonwoo watched in awe how you balanced his son on your lap while he ate the vegetables and how you managed to feed yourself while holding a conversation. If he didn’t know better, he would’ve sworn he was your son. Soon enough you finished eating and he was gonna clear the table but you held out Dae to him and Wonwoo got the hint he needed changing. You gave him directions to change him in your room while you finished.

He was struck dumb when he saw a picture of Dae on your nigthstand, looking so happy and full of life. Wonwoo figured Dae was a couple months younger judging from the baby fat, but he looked the same. He looked a lot like his late wife and he was brought back to the harsh reality that she was gone. He didn’t think he could ever love someone that much again. It wasn’t fair; maybe she would’ve still been here if he didn’t convince her to quit her job. Maybe If he told her not to go to Japan with them or maybe if Soonyoung didn’t convince her to have dinner. Maybe, maybe... 

A sudden sob racked through his body and he tried to keep his composure. He was here with Daejung and you. This already happened; he couldn’t turn back time no matter times he wished it. The reality was his wife was gone. He was learning to live without her and Daejung would never have a memory of her. He shook his head. He was a guest here in your home; he needed to be happy for the moment, because he was enjoying himself a few minutes ago with you. You were laughing and throwing food at each other. You were friends spending Christmas together and Daejung just so happened to be the person who brought you together.

When he went to the living room, he didn’t expect to see you on the couch lightly flipping through the channels with the fireplace on. He felt...warm and cozy in so many ways and he just had to smile. Daejung cooed and you turned around quickly, hands stretched for your favorite little friend. He squirmed in Wonwoo’s arms, clearly wanting you and you handed him over, once again in awe in how much Dae loved you.

“Alright Mister, we’re gonna open Christmas gift and then you can go home, okay?” You lowered your voice but he could still hear you. “I found the cartoons you like so if you fall asleep you can stay longer because your daddy wouldn’t dare take you out in this cold.” You booped his nose and his little hand touched your cheek.

“Did you get us presents? Y/N, you really didn’t have to. We already took up so much of your time.”

“Yes I absolutely had to. What’d you think? You were coming over just to have breakfast? No, come sit down and enjoy the day. Jeon Wonwoo, you and I, we’re a family in a way.”

Family. He had to admit, he liked the idea of that. He sat down next to you as you put Dae on the floor so he could crawl to his heart’s content. “Where’d you get all those toys?”

“Well, with how you work a lot at night and you bring him over, isn’t it a smart idea to have something for him to play with?”

“Your friends must think you’re weird for taking care of some idol’s kid, huh?”

“Well Wonwoo, to be honest, I don’t have them over very much for that same reason. From the way you and your friends talk about your wife and the fact that the media doesn’t even know about her, I just assumed that you’d like to keep it that way, for the respect of her privacy. My friends don’t even know it’s your son I take care of. As far as they know, you don’t have a son. They just know I watch my boss’s son most of the time. Any days off you give me, I try to keep them away from here...just so they don’t ask questions. It’d be a little hard to explain why I have a mini version of Jeon Wonwoo in my house.”

He smiled at you wholeheartedly. “You weren’t kidding when you said you knew what you were getting into.” He could feel his heartbeat picking up. Have you always looked like that?

“Dae will eventually have to grow up and face all of this but as his babysitter, it’d be best to let him stay out of the limelight as long as possible. It’s harder for you because you’re still traveling the world but you know as long as we keep doing whatever we’re doing, he’ll be fine.” You weren’t looking at him as you spoke because your earnestness often made you feel embarrassed so you kneeled on the floor and picked up Wonwoo’s Christmas gift. Daejung, having been busy crawling everywhere he could, fell asleep and you  draped a small blanket over him. 

“I feel shitty not getting you anything,” he admitted. “It’s been a hard year.”

“Don’t worry about that. Daejung makes everyday feel like Christmas. And watching him for you feels kinda surreal, so thank you. Open your gift.”

He didn’t know what he was expecting, but he wasn’t expecting three photobooks of him and his wife and their history. He thumbed through them quickly. “How did you do this?”

“Jeon Wonwoo, every corner I turned at your house had pictures everywhere. So with Seungkwan’s help we found all of them and tried to make an accurate timeline.”

“That would explain why he asked me about us the other day.” Were you always this considerate too? “And what’s Dae’s?”

“Um, Jeonghan helped me look for a single photo of her. He helped me pick out the frame and everything and while he might never know who she was, I don’t think you’d want him to forget her either.”

“Y/N,” he felt at a loss for words, not sure what an appropriate response was, so he just pulled you in and gave you the tightest hug he had ever given someone. “Thank you,” he sobbed.

You weren’t sure how long you stayed like that, but you kept your arms around him until he let you go. His heart still broke for his wife, you knew that, and that no one would ever take her place. But you also did know one day, he could move on and start over. He’d finally start dating (only if he wanted to though) and then he and Dae could be happy together. “Would you guys like to stay a little longer?” you asked quietly. “You don’t look like you’re ready to go home yet.”

“I don’t want to bother you anymore today.”

“You’re not a bother. Tell you what, pick a movie of your choice, I’ll make some popcorn and we can have some wine and then you guys can home once you’ve had dinner.”

“Y/N, we just finished breakfast!”

“Christmas was meant to be spent together.”

“Okay fine, but you’re not taking care of Dae anymore today.”

“I make no promises.”

“Deal.”

So you let Wonwoo flip through all the streaming networks while you made popcorn, poured two glasses of the reddest wine you owned and went back to the living room in hopes he found something. He didn’t choose a Christmas themed movie, but it was a comedy and you both found yourself laughing harder than necessary.

But you also didn’t deny the racing of your heart when he shyly yet somewhat casually entwined his hand his yours.

[shiro-0197]

Omg that sounds so cute 😭😭😭 I do that sometimes too. Mostly little faces and hearts and the beats turn out horrific 😳 I'm glad you had the time to do so, love :D

awww thank you, I feel much better about it now. You're right, taking a rest is suitable. I was just so focused on other stuff I never got around to studying, but I will definitely do so next month 😅😚

oh I see!! Good luck with those, you're gonna do so amazingly well xx 💖💖💖 hmm they're not the same. So we start our school year in January, and we have a first quarter exam in march, then another midterm in June/July, then a second quarter exam in September, and our finals somewhere in November (and then we get a break from November to December, and resume on the 2nd of January), tho we have many week-long holidays in between, like after our midterms (two weeks) and after the quarter exams (one week each). That's before quarantine. Now, due to quarantine, we didn't have our finals because school was out, so the school postponed it to January, when school reopens xD it sucks because we didn't even have lessons for most of the topics which are supposed to come out, and self studying is rubbish, honestly. But I think I'll be okay if I put in the hours <3

awww 😭😭 that's okay maybe use a pillow to muffle it. Oh how I'd love to give you a headpat rn. I love headpats, do you like them too?

RIVER PHOENIX BESTEST BOY. I love his name so much too, ahdbsksj!! I mean... LOOK AT HIM?? PRECIOUS, BEAUTIFUL, ANGEL.

(He's not alive anymore tho... He passed away on Halloween's day 27 years ago. His story is such a sad one, actually. I have to hold back tears when u think about it)

I'm glad you liked them!! I don't share classical music recommendations with people, you're the special exception, but I'm so happy you like it. It's very soft and soothing, and river flows in you is my favourite thing to play on the piano 😣💖

KSBSKSHSKJ CUTE CUTE CUTE YOUR VIRTUAL DATE SOUNDS ADORABLE GOSH IM MELTING. 😭😭 Poor Kuro, I hope the store restocks some of that juice for him skdjsksk. It's nice that you have someone to spend time like that with. Life is so much more fun when you have someone with you to spend the boring days away. I'm so glad you have Kuro, the two of you sound so wonderful together.

ah yes!! Abigail made it. She's hoping to start a baked goods business in the future, so she practices a lot, and that's nice because whenever I go over the house smells really good. I loved seeing them all too. I nearly cried when I saw Hri (anime protagnist friend sjdjsks it's such a mouthful to type, so that's his nickname xD) because I'd missed him a lot, so I was really really happy. He sat on the floor and let me braid his hair and tie it up, since it's grown so long now!!

Really? I didn't know that but I'm so glad you think so. You make me so happy, I hope you know that.

AHHH yes I really did miss you more, bae 😭💖 didn't not think about you :) I'm glad, it's always so nice to rant with a best friend. I hope things with his family get better!! and oof 😭😭 I never knew that about phones, but it makes sense, extremes of temperature would definitely affect the battery life :( shame that it happened tho!!

I love you too, my wonderful Shiro. Thank you for existing, and always putting a smile on my face.

—miss i'll-braid-your-hair-someday-too-shiro 💖

Heheheh, yes, every time the sounds are like music composed from the cries of the sinful souls right from Hell. It's too fun to pass, though

I'm really glad, also thanks a lot!!!

Damn ... school system is so differnet everywhere. Even the school start, ours starts at first of September😭 It's usually 3 exams per term for each subject, and there are 4 terms. 2 of the exams are for the unit we had passed, and the 3rd exam is what I like to call the final exam, and its has questions of everything we had passed in the term. Or semester. idk how it's called anymore😩 I just know that they're not divided equally (one is two months, one is three, one is 3,5, the other one is 2,5 or something🤨) and it bothers me a lot. Could've done it a little more organized.... pain😞😞

Yeah, selfstudying is really hard... you just lose focus and it's difficult to understand something with all those weird words. For me, at least. With a study buddy i could at least brag that I'm ahead of them XDD I'm sure you can do it, though! Good luck<33

I like to give out headpats!! But, I guess, to have one from you would be lovely😭

Omg!!!! He looks so gorgeous??!? It's such a shame he died at such a young age:((( rest in peace, River Phoenix😖

Ohhh!! Am I, now? That's cute, I'm glad🥺 I'd love to listen to you playing it someday🥺

Hahah, I know right!! I've been thinking about how cute it sounded, tbh I wanted to draw that but really haven't been feeling up to it XD I'm also very happy to have him. It gets lonely around here :( I'm also very glad to have you! And your sweet messages. It's really a relief, knowing someone so wonderful cares about you. Makes me feel even more special, you know?

Ohh that sounds so good!! I wish her luck, I'm sure she'll succeed. That cookie looked gorgeous, bet it tasted great too😋😋 Also that's so sweet omg???? I'm glad you got to see him🥺🥺 and he let you braid his hair what a wonderful man😍🤭

You make me very happy too!!<33

You're making my heart dance rn wth😭😭💞 you're right, it's really nice to just ramble on about stuff with you♡♡ I really hope so as well, but I think it's really better to hope that they can move out. I wish I could help them fjnancially:(

Yeah phones are kinda annoying like that sometimes >:(( it sucks, but at least they do what they need to hehe

Thank you so much for everything, for everything you've told me, for everything you showed me and everything you wished me, you never fail to make my day better💕💕💞💓

[123itsfaline-blog]

Having a rough day with my mental health...I kkowbita been si up and down this year because of all the damn punches 2020 has been throwing at us. January was a high point for me as after being diabetic for 10 years I finally got my first insulin pump. Which has made my control 100 times better, I've been sick for so long and after spending a few years really neglecting my diabetes this has made major improvements for my health. February was rough... I had 2-3 hospital trips for issues with my heart and once to be put on a suicide watch. March i was hospitalized and found out I have low blood pressure and thats why I had been so weak and fainting. Including hitting my head once and nearly having a seizure on another occasion. Rest of March and beginning of April was lonely and uneventful as we were in quarantine (still kinda are) until April 12.. long story but I broke my leg, didn't get x-rays until the 24th and had surgery to repair it on the 26th. It happened so fast and I was all alone because my family couldn't visit due to covid. Home and healing and on bed rest until august.. got my cast off in the end of June. Had a nice but socially distant 4th of July with my family. I've been in and out of a dozen different doctors since mid February so I'm really burnt out from that. September was mostly boring as well kinda going stir crazy for a while now. October came and went fairly quickly but just before I met a wonderful and sweet yet smart ass of a guy. Spent an amazing Halloween weekend with him before he had to leave for work again. Spent 2 weeks waiting for him to return, basically spent all week with him before he had to leave once again. Now I'm at home waiting once again for him. I've never had this kinda experience with someone but I'm really enjoying it. Even if we are still trying to figure things out between us I'm just happy when I'm with him. I don't know how to describe how im feeling. Right now I'm just trying to get through the holidays and counting down the days to April when my brother will be released from prison ... another long as fuck story but I haven't seen my big brother since 2010/2011. That whole ordeal has been a nightmare for him and my family. I miss him so damn much.. there's more that happened in 2020 but its hard to get everything down and straight in one go

[always-evergreen]

jasmine, primrose, gardenia, lions fairytale, lily of the valley, desert rose, creams and sky, tulip, daphne, wisteria, angels face, iris, caramel kisses, primula, queen anne's lace, forget me not, lunaria, sunflower, snowdrop, peonie, tea rose, sweet pea, love in the mist, crown imperial, cosmos, moon flower, lily, anemone, lotus, buttercup, calendula, blazing star, carnation, petunia, and morning glory 💐🌸💮🌹🌺🌻🌼🌷

whew this is a lot!! thanks for asking! ill put this under a read more so I dont clog up everyones dash

jasmine; what mythical creature do you wish actually existed? - my favourite was always griffins but I feel like theyd be kinda terrifying so im gonna go w mermaids!!

primrose; what book does everyone right now need to read? - not really a specific book but I think people just need to read more old timey books where literally nothing happens to calm us all down a little

gardenia; what’s a promise you’ve recently made to yourself? - I dont make promises to myself bc I know me too well and that bitch is a liar

lion’s fairytale; would you rather be the sky, the ocean or the forests? - this is actually a really cool question! I feel like the sky would be kinda lonely whereas the ocean and forests are full of life..... im gonna go forest just bc its a little less scary than the ocean lol

lily of the valley; did the one person who hurt you most in your life apologize? - cant say anyones ever actually hurt me that badly lol

desert rose; do you like yourself? - eh sure. could be improved upon but could be a whole lot worse!!

creams and sky; what’s the craziest/bravest thing you’ve done? - its not crazy but the bravest thing ive done is probably move away from home for university...and then drop out of two separate higher education courses lmfao

tulip; name 5 facts about yourself. - 1. im 5′6″. 2. ive dyed my hair 10 times. 3. im the middle of 3 siblings. 4. my biggest fear is someone breaking into my house. 5. my favourite animals are turtles!

daphne; do you believe in karma? - mmm not really... I dont not believe in it tho

wisteria; whom do you admire and why? - can I be honest w u guys? ive never had a role model in my life. never once have I looked at someone and been like ‘wow ur so cool and admirable I want to be like u’ like I just dont “admire” people idk:/

angel’s face; what was your favorite bedtime story as a child? - I really loved on Christmas eve when my dad would read us all the night before Christmas and the miracle of Jonathan Toomey... even when I got older and he was really just reading to my sister id still listen in lol

iris; do you believe in ghosts? - hell yeah!

caramel kisses; would you want to live forever? why/why not? - maybe so that I could really see the whole world and travel everywhere and experience everything these different places have to offer but probably not bc once all my friends and family died itd be really lonely... if there were other immortals then possibly

primula; what makes you sad? - my cats getting quite old so its really upsetting to think that in a few years hes gonna die

queen anne’s lace; who do you trust the most? - my bitch haide<3

forget me not; do you have any regrets looking back in your life? - yeah of course what kind of sociopath doesn't have regrets!!

lunaria; what’s your favorite fictional universe? - middle earth

sunflower; share a favorite quote. - “Don’t die wondering.” - The Way Way Back

snowdrop; what does your ideal day look like? - sleep till noon, lie in bed watching movies all day, walk the dog, large bowl of pasta for dinner, more movies

peony; share a small random book passage that means something to you. - “He does something to me, that boy. Every time. It’s his only detriment. He steps on my heart. He makes me cry.” - The Book Thief, Markus Zuzak… that's always been one of my favourite books and rudys one of my all time favourite characters and this was the first time I had ever cried reading a book... fun fact ive actually only read this book twice bc I dont have the emotional strength to go through this scene again

tea rose; what’s something you always wanted to do but were too scared? - I honestly cant think of anything atm...

sweet pea; who means the world to you? why? - my friends, my pets, my dad, jesse pinkman

love in the mist; best books you’ve ever read? - gotta say the book thief lol uhh fahrenheit 451, pretty much anything by ray Bradbury actually, to kill a mockingbird, the secret life of bees, lotr, his dark materials, little women, dorian gray, the shadow of the wind series

crown imperial; would you rather be extremely rich or extremely loved? - id like to have money obviously but id rather be loved than super rich

cosmos; do you ever think about the galaxy? - cant say that I do

moonflower; what’s your favorite color? - pink! and blue and yellow

lilly; what’s something you love watching/reading but you are too embarrassed to admit you do? - I gave up being embarrassed about my interests years ago, theres no time for feeling bad about stuff u enjoy in life

anemone; describe yourself in 3 words. - baddest bitch alive. nah jk ummm quiet, curious, daydreamer

lotus; best memory as a child? - I have such a bad memory so I dont actually remember a lot of my childhood but ill say just in general the time spent at my grans during the summer holidays, especially if our cousins were also visiting. that was a lot of fun

buttercup; if you could change one thing in the world, what would it be? - redistribute the wealth of the super rich, thereby contributing to ending poverty, hunger and homelessness across the world

calendula; biggest pet peeve? - slow walkers, people who chew with their mouths open

blazing star; share a secret. - I dont really have secrets lmao nothing that interesting ever happens to me

carnation; would you rather live longer or happier? - happier

petunia; who’s story is your biggest inspiration in life? why? - again I dont look up to people and I am inspired by no one

morning glory; any special talent that you have? - I dont even have any normal talents let alone special ones lol

thanks for asking! hope this was interesting xx