#next chapter is intrulogical AND rociet....
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logan lark’s adventures in trying to appease his parents
CHAPTER 7: you matter to me (the terrifying tales of the grimm monarchy)
Summary: Logan Lark is a fairly average high school student. By all means, he should be impressing his parents on all grounds. Except...he doesn’t exactly have a social life. So after his parents give him puppy dog eyes, he decides to join the local theatre's youth production. Good grief...His life is about to get weird isn’t it?
Warnings: Potential ooc behavior, Mr. and Mrs. Grimm’s A+ parenting, panic attacks, unconventional sibling problems/dynamics, very brief disappearance (If I miss something please tell me!)
Notes: This fic is based off an idea from @under-the-blue-moonlight. If you wanna be tagged in chapters, please ask!! All feedback is very welcomed, I didn’t have anyone to beta so *sighs loudly*. This chapter is kinda angsty and opens up some fun new plot relevant strings. I also want to make it clear that I will be demonstrating Roman putting in work to fix his mess ups in later chapters as well! He’s got some loose ends to tie up, and he will do so.
Pairings: Intrulogical, Eventual Rociet, Creativitwins
Tagslist: @under-the-blue-moonlight @why-should-i-tell-youu2 @im-actually-ok @hauntedturkeycalzonedreamer @croftersjam15 @rainbowsixth @snaketho @wasinotwantedatthisexactsecond @a-soul-among-the-stars @sweet-razz-tea @the-cactus-lord @genderlessfish
Janus’ eyes move to Logan, they seem to communicate without a breath between them. Logan takes nothing but his phone with him when he heads into the hall, but it’s far too late. Remus is nowhere in sight.
Roman takes a shuddering sigh, places his head in his hands, and leans against the makeup counter.
“I’m-I’m sorry-I don’t-I don’t know what that was-”
“Yes, you do.”
The room feels so uncomfortable, the tension could be cut with a knife. Roman knows Janus well enough to know his glare cuts sharper than any weapon could ever. Especially to him. His face stays firmly planted in his hands, hiding from the truth he’s been avoiding for far too long.
“Roman, look at me,” Janus orders.
He listens and keels back in shame at the look of anger and disappointment on his friend’s face.
“Tell me the truth, why are you doing this?”
It’s a good question. For all it’s worth though, he doesn’t know. Which seems like the cop-out of the century, but truly...he has no clue at the moment. That, however, is not an answer Janus will accept and not one he will accept of himself.
With a deep breath, he thinks “Alright, Roman. Be honest. Why are you doing this?”
Within moments he gets it and it is the easiest conclusion he’s ever come to. The twins have always had a very sturdy dichotomy. Remus was a messy and wild child growing up, while Roman was clean and polite. When they played, there was always a good and just prince and an evil conniving duke. There were good marks and bad marks. Good ideas and bad ideas. Clean and messy. Good and evil. Something nice and something terrible. Even in the eyes of their parents. It didn’t matter to them as children, Remus even seemed to enjoy it on occasion. Looking back, he only ever liked being “bad” when he got to choose it. When they played in their yard and there was a choice between swimming in the pool and scooping water onto the grass to “drown the bugs”, he was the happiest child in the universe. When the school called their father and told him that Remus had been in another fight, he looked like someone had ripped his soul from his body. It didn’t matter the reason he was fighting, he was “bad”. Roman had always thought the merit of the fight was dictated by why you were fighting in the first place, but apparently, he was wrong.
The dichotomy they played into was fun! It was! For a while, at least. Then Roman began being berated by everyone around him for acting similarly to his brother. Then Remus was the new social outcast months before they hit middle school. Then it wasn’t fun anymore. Being “good” was stressful and lonely. Teachers, classmates, friends, family, everyone equated “good” with perfect. Perfection is a hard burden to bear alone and twelve years old. Roman’s mind drifts to when they split up. When the dichotomy became less of a two-person game played for fun, and more of an ugly sweater from an aunt that they had to wear to every formal event. It was hard, it was always much too hard. It hurt him. Recently, he realized the much heavier burden of being “bad”. The stress and loneliness must be tenfold when everyone beats into your brain that you are the perfect example of the “Evil Twin” trope. Even your own brother. Your twin.
“Everyone told me,”
They had been a pair once.
“‘Roman, you’re such a good kid, you’re good at everything.’”
They were a good pair. Even now. He’d worked with him just a month ago to put something together and it was amazing.
“‘There is nothing you can’t do!’”
A few months ago, he was doing something he hadn’t thought possible and making amends with his brother.
“To them, I was independent and self-sufficient,”
He wasn’t either of those things, not then and not now. He had always been a pair.
“I was perfect. I had to be.”
The catch is that he gave up the only person who didn’t care if he was perfect.
“I thought it was true, I-”
The catch is that now his actions dawn on him fully like a wave over the shore.
“I needed them to be right.”
His breath shakes, “Who am I if I’m not that?”
The wave of grief and guilt crashes into him, and all he can think about now is how much he wants to take back every single mean thing he’s ever said about his brother. He feels the sea of emotions that he’s held back take him in and drown him with ferocity. Janus sighs as Roman stares at him through watery eyes.
“Roman. You were doing so well with Remus.”
He’s right, Janus is always right about these things. Two months ago, he had been doing so much better. He and Remus were still bickering in public, but it was fun to him. Though when Remus had “glue-and-feather’d” his makeup bag, he had thrown a little fit, he laughed about it later. Remus had laughed with him. It was light and fun. May, June, and most of July were the most fun he’d had with Remus in years. They’d spent time together, helped each other with chores, ridden to the theatre together. Little, minuscule things. Things that made such a tremendous difference in Roman’s confidence.
“What happened?”
The same thing that always happened. His mother came home
There was always something different about his mother. When he and Remus had befriended Janus in elementary school, they met someone else's mother for the first time. He realized the day he had met her what made his mom so different. Lillian Devine, or as they called her Mrs.Lilli, was quite possibly the strangest woman they had ever met. The first time they saw her, Janus had seen her outside the school and made a beeline for his mother’s arms. She took him up into her arms, gave him a spin, and hugged him tightly. Roman doesn’t remember much from being that young, but he can remember the first moment he felt jealousy was when Lillian took Janus into that hug and loudly announced that she missed him. Only gone a day at school, and she missed him enough to announce it to the world. He remembers going home to a very big, very empty house. He was grumpy, clutching Remus’ hand like a lifeline as their nanny ushered them into their room and told them she would collect them at dinner time. When she collected them, Roman asked if she had missed them. She said, “I’m not your mother, am I?”.
His mother was different. When she came home, she would offer Roman a hug and give him a big kiss on the cheek. Every time, even the most recent. Like clockwork. Roman, sometimes accompanied by Remus, would wait outside the door for his mother’s car to arrive. She would exit and her heels would clack along the stone pathway. She would kiss him on the cheek when she got up the steps, offer him a quick hug, then begin to speak about her latest adventures in Paris. If Remus stood with him, she would give him her coat. Roman would always take it from him, hang it up, and follow his mother wherever she went. Recently the thought of their mother handing Remus her coat made Roman want to puke.
They’d had dinner together one night in July. On her most recent visit, she told stories of her new revolutionary fashion line. He told her all about the newest theatre show. Remus made an effort to sit with them, and it was a labour for Roman to look at his mother when he spoke instead of Remus. He was there for all his anecdotes but he would still hang off of every word just to find something to prod at. Remus stood, and his mother’s words echoed in his brain.
“Remus, dear,” His mother begins in her shrill voice, “If you’re not going to eat with us, at least go and shower. Your smell is unbecoming.”
He latches onto that conversation, that’s really when the downfall started.
“Mother, that was quite rude…” He says softly, keeping his eyes on his plate.
“Sometimes you have to tell the truth, my darling.” She laughs then, and Roman wants more than anything to get up and chase his brother.
“Speaking of your theatre production,” He turns his attention back to her, “Your father is thinking of coming this year.”
All thoughts of defending his brother leave his brain entirely. His mouth dries and he feels the onset of excitement and pure panic. At that moment he is consumed by selfishness and tries to push away the panic and think only of this dream come true.
“He’ll be happy to hear you got the lead again,”
“But Mother, I told you, I’m only-”
“Yes, the understudy. You’ll change that, won’t you, my darling? I didn’t raise you to get second place, did I?”
He was good. What he was doing was good. He couldn’t disappoint his mother, let alone his father. Truth be told, he barely even spoke to the man except for their short and brief calls on the major holidays. He hadn’t seen him in person in nearly two years. He’d outgrown the excuse of him being busy but hadn’t outgrown the fire that a visit from his father lights inside him. It became even worse when after two feeble attempts to be rid of Logan, his father called him. Unprompted, unscheduled, and entirely without cause. He buzzed when he picked up the phone.
“Roman.”
“Hello, father.” He can barely contain the happiness buzzing around in his throat.
“I have made time in my schedule to come to see your stage performance at the request of your mother. She has told me you landed the lead role again, I can’t say I’m not impressed. This is the sixth year in a row she has asked me, you know. I hope there is some merit to your casting director’s choice.”
He can barely keep himself sat down, the urge to jump around is so intense that he nearly dies. “Oh, certainly! I won’t let you down! Oh! And neither will Remus, he’s entirely spectacular in his role this year, I really think you’ll love-”
“I am not attending this production to see your brother. I trust you won’t let me down, because unlike him, you are not a failure. I will see you then, goodbye.”
In one fell swoop, his father had crushed his mood and strengthened his resolve.
“My father is coming to the production. He called me himself to confirm.”
“The man who talks to you on average thirty minutes a year is coming to our show? Please tell me you’re joking.” The shock is evident in Janus’ voice as he searches Roman’s face desperately to ensure he’s lying.
“I’m not. My mother, she-she told him I got the lead. He told me-He told me that he was impressed with my track record. Then I-Well I started talking about Remus’ spectacular performance and he...He said he wasn’t coming to see Remus and that I-” Roman is on the verge of tears, he feels the urge to crumble like a war-torn kingdom.
Janus places a hand on his shoulder, meant to be a comfort, “That you what?”
Tears track down Roman’s face as he sits and slumps over to physically display his guilt, “That I’m not a failure like him, so I won’t let him down.”
“I am internalizing so much anger at the moment, please give me a second.” Janus takes a deep breath and screams angrily out loud. Roman takes it as initiative and screams as well, but much more wet and sad.
Janus pinches the bridge of his nose between his fingers.
“You didn’t think to tell anyone any of this?” Roman shakes his head and sniffles.
Janus mutters to himself, “Right. Of course, you didn’t. You fool.”
“We all know you’re not an absolute prick Roman. You’d obviously just pick on Logan for no reason you’re totally not super stressed or something.” He recoils at that, Janus’ face falls.
“I’m just-Roman-You can talk to me,” Janus speaks with an air entirely too soft for him.
What gets Roman’s attention is the tired and slightly sad, “Lord knows that neither of you does enough.”
“I’m here for you, even if you do some very morally shifty things. Especially if it’s all because you’re all stressed out and your daddy issues are taking centre stage in your mind.” He sits beside him now, taking Roman’s hand in his.
“I know how passionate you are, and I can tell that this isn’t how you want to do it. So, you don’t have to. You have...lots of things to make up for and apologize for. But there is still time. As long as you mean it, and you want to do better.”
Weakly, he mutters “I do.”
“Then find a way to apologize and fix it the way you always do.”
“And what way is that?” He asks with a soft smile, to which Janus chuckles under his breath.
“Facing every and all challenges with courage and honesty. Obviously,” Janus raises a thumb and wipes the tears from Roman’s cheeks with a genuine smile.
So it was settled then. Roman needed to apologize. To everyone. He was already thinking of ways to express his sorrow and regret properly, his brilliant brain spitting out lavish and somewhat laborious ideas. Janus can tell from the way the passionate light returns to his eyes and he smiles. There is work to be done.
The door slams open and an entirely too panicked Virgil stands in the doorway, “Janus-”
Work to be done later. Virgil’s breath is coming in whooping waves, his body is shaking, makeup smudged from anxious tears rolling down his face. Janus moves with purpose, approaching Virgil like a particularly protective guardian. Virgil grabs the fabric of his hoodie and tries to breathe.
“That’s it, Virgil, you’re alright,” He coos, gently placing a hand on his head.
“We can’t-” Virgil speech is messy and laboured, “We-We can’t find Remus-He’s-He’s not picking up his phone-I’m-We-”
Roman’s blood runs cold. Remus has done this before, sure. But it’s always been silly and fun and not motivated by weeks worth of stress and terrible feelings. Roman knows his words were the cherry on the cake, and nearly slaps himself for still being sat there while his brother was who knows where.
Roman grabs Remus’ bag from the floor, opening it to find his phone. There are almost fifty missed messages, most of them from a contact labelled “The Sexy Kind Of Spider” who he can only assume is Virgil.
“His phone’s still here,” He sifts through the bag some more, “Along with his jacket and his car keys.”
“Well, I’d say he can’t have gone far, but we all know how crafty Remus is,” Janus says with a drained expression on his face which only inspires Virgil to clutch his shirt even tighter.
There’s a fire in Roman now, an urge to find his brother’s newest hiding spot and somehow make it up to him. He slings the bag over his shoulder and approaches the pair.
“No need to fear, Virge! I’ll find Remus and bring him back to us as quickly as I can!”
Virgil only nods in response, prompting Janus to gently ruffle his hair. Roman leaves, knowing that the Virgil situation is in very capable hands. On to finding his brother.
He sends a quick text to Thomas debriefing the situation, playing it off as a “typical Remus situation”, and leaves the building. If Remus had been outside the theatre, he certainly wasn’t anymore. Potentially unfortunately from Roman, a certain nerd was out there looking instead. When they made eye contact, Logan approached. He looked...frazzled. Much more so than Roman had ever seen.
“There you are. I was wondering when you would come help. Remus is missing and hasn’t answered his phone.”
“He left it here, but I’m going to go and look for him.”
Logan mutters something under his breath about the inefficiency of something-or-other, but Roman does not have the time to care. Him and Logan talk for another minute, Logan even gives him his number to call when he finds him. Logan says he’s going to get more people to look, Roman only nods. He’s focused in, there’s hope for a new start still and he’ll be damned if he loses it to Remus randomly disappearing forever. He piles into his car with Remus’ bag and starts his search.
Hope turns to fear after the third hour with no signs of his brother. He had checked his house, all the old spots Remus used to love, their whole neighbourhood, Janus’ house, every department store near the theatre. Nothing. It was like a magician cast a spell to make his brother disappear. He’s on the verge of panic. His hands are shaking like a bitch and his breathing wavers with each word he mutters to himself to ease his anxiety. He has to pull over into the parking lot of the convenience store near his home. It wouldn’t be safe for him to drive anywhere anymore. He wonders for a moment how in the hell his brother disappeared so quickly. He only had about thirty minutes on foot ahead of them, how had nobody found him? He almost cries sitting at the wheel. What if he’d been kidnapped? Murdered? Taken for ransom? Wait, that’s the same as kidnapping, isn’t it? God, it didn’t matter now! His brother was gone. For nearly ten minutes he lets the situation hit him hard. Tears roll through his body and he sobs. If Remus was gone forever, what would he do? What could he do?
A worker from the store comes out from the front. They see Roman and Roman sees them. Roman couldn’t care less that they now look incredibly uncomfortable. They move to the back of the store and from Roman can see, they’re talking to someone. It doesn’t matter. He doesn’t know why he’s watching. He’s still crying like a baby. The thought of having lost his brother to the universe is still making his head pound. The worker gives whoever they’re talking to a smile, walks back inside the store, and from the till inside they give Roman a reassuring smile as well. He gives them a thumbs up. He takes a deep breath. He needs to pull himself together and find-
When Remus turns the corner from behind the store, Roman goes for the door handle before he can think. The sight of his shivering, tear-stained, obviously upset brother has him moving. He rips the door open and scrambles out. He trips over the edge of the car door and it doesn’t even matter. His palms and knees scrape against the concrete, ripping the skin on his hands and hurting his knees. He doesn’t care. It stings and he doesn’t care. The second he’s on his feet again he bolts at Remus and throws his arms around his chest. His head is firmly locked between Remus’ neck and shoulder, he’s grabbing at his shirt like a lifeline. His breathing is erratic, the tears are back now and back with a vengeance. His knees are shaking. He hadn’t even recognized how terribly and horribly scared of losing his brother he even was. Feeling it now was like the first breath of autumn air in your summer lungs. Remus stands there, just stands there. For a moment, the buzzing of his mind recognizes someone saying his name. Then there are arms around him. He’s being squeezed within an inch of his life. He doesn’t mind. He will never mind again.
All Roman’s scared voice can squeak out is a loud and cracking, “I’m sorry!”
They stand together in the chilly late-august afternoon air, in full sight of any neighbours or employees at the store, for five minutes. They sway slightly. Remus doesn’t say a word. Not one passes through his lips. Remus pulls away, only to take Roman’s hand and drag him to the car.
“C’mon you crybaby, let’s go home.”
Roman just nods and doesn’t comment on the tears on Remus’ cheeks. Remus takes the driver’s seat and Roman piles into the passengers’ side. He holds his brother’s bag in his lap, he squeezes it tightly. The drive home is only a few minutes, but Roman’s breathing calms enough to the point where he can rationalize texting. Janus, Logan, and Virgil all get a very simple text, but it’s enough to explain the situation.
‘Found him. We’re going home. He’ll call you in a bit.’
They pull into the driveway, shuffle into the house, take off their shoes. It seems weirdly unreal. It’s like Roman has entered some twilight zone where he and his brother get along. A twilight zone that Roman hopes to make a reality. Like he’s an upset kid again, he takes his brother’s hand and remains resolute in not crying again as he leads him through their empty house. The maid is there, she sees them pass. She doesn’t say a word. She watches the obviously upset twins make their way down the hall and into Roman’s room. Remus lets Roman take him by the shoulders and sit him on his bed. They stare at each other for a moment, unsure of what to say.
Roman takes the first step, “You scared me, Remus.”
Remus looks away, “I didn’t think you’d care, really…”
“Of course I’d care! Remus, I-I always cared! And I meant it when I said that I am truly sorry!” He’s crying again, and frankly, he feels a little stupid.
“I kinda figured when you ran at me crying like a crazy person,” His brother picks up the end of his blanket and wipes his face with it, “You’re crying a lot today.”
“I’ve had a quite terrible afternoon, I think a little emotional distress is warranted.” He huffs and crosses his arms over his chest, Remus smacks the blanket gently across his cheek.
Remus ushers him in again, nudging his head against Roman’s stomach and wrapping arms around his back. Roman stands between Remus’ legs and holds his head like the precious thing it is.
There’s a shudder of a breath from each of them. Both of them are so painfully aware of how long it’s been since the last time they sought out each other for comfort like this. There’s something so familiar in it. The warmth that Roman remembers from a childhood spent at each other’s sides. They used to be so close that they shared a bed by choice. He spent nights asleep and calm holding onto his brother. This feels like that. Something so personal and so old. Remus starts to cry again and it’s a messy sob that makes Roman’s ears ring. He squats down to look Remus in the eyes, taking his hands in his.
“I didn’t mean it, Rem. I don’t think you’re a failure-I-” Remus cries harder, he does his best to wipe the tears with his fingers.
“You-You mean much more to me than I’m sure I've let on in recent years.” There’s a tenderness and honesty in Roman’s voice that feels good and right.
“Mother and Father have been driving me insane, pressuring me to say and do things that I frankly don’t believe in.” The feelings he’s sharing now are lightening something in Roman’s chest, and from the look on Remus’ face, his words are more than on the right track.
“Not anymore. I promise to you that from now on I am going to do everything I can to make up for the terrible things I’ve done.”
Remus smiles at him, teary-eyed and covered in snot. It’s not gross to Roman, not right now, because Remus looks better.
“Can you start by getting me some water?” Remus’s hoarse voice coughs out, Roman is on his feet and goes to the kitchen as quickly as he can.
With two glasses in hand, he hurries back. He stops at the door. Inside, he hears Remus talking. He’s on the phone with Janus, who sounds more than upset. He goes in, gives Remus the glass, and turns to leave for privacy reasons. His brother grabs at his wrist and tugs him back. He sits beside Remus and they drink their water. He keeps his mouth shut and listens to the ways in which other people love his brother. Janus is angrier than anything else. The heart-palpitating rant that ensues is wildly emotional. He talks about how much the incidents of this afternoon scared everyone, goes off on tangents about the risks of running off and not telling anyone, tells him with the most love in his voice that he was worried about him. Remus promises not to do it again, Janus only sighs in a loving way. Janus brings up his talk with Roman, emphasizes his support of both of them, and lets Remus be on his way. Virgil is next, and he’s quiet. The call is full of little silences, Virgil takes breaks between sentences. Stops mid-word to take a breath and keep his wits. He tells Remus that he scared him. Tells him that he cares about him, no matter what. That he loves him and wants the best for him. He doesn’t use those words exactly, but Roman reads between the lines.
They’re fairly average calls considering the circumstances and their relationships. Roman sees Remus hesitate as his fingers ghost over the call button under Logan’s contact. He’s saved as “Boobear” with a blue and green heart. It’s by far the most normal of the names on his list. It’s by far the sweetest as well.
“Something wrong?” He asks, and Remus gives him a shaky smile.
“I’m worried about what he’s going to hate me now or something,”
It’s almost the stupidest thing Roman had ever heard. He might not get along great with Logan, but he’s not blind. The little nerd is wrapped tightly around Remus’ finger. He’s seen Remus hang off of Logan and say all kinds of crazy and vulgar things, only to get a small reprimand or occasionally an annoyed-but-loving smile. Remus can spout off in a rant about nothing in particular, only to have Logan hang onto every word and provide commentary and factual corrections. There is nothing in the world that could shake away the Logan Lark who was smiling and dancing in a field with his brother only a month ago.
“With the way he looks at you,” Roman chuckles, “I wouldn’t be surprised if this made him love you more.”
Remus blushes furiously, and instead of dignifying Roman with a response, he hits the call button.
Logan picks up the second it goes through as if he was waiting by his phone for Remus to call him. The intense emotion in his voice makes the twins do a double-take. He’s normally so straight and narrow. Measured. Collected. There is an air to the typical Logan that has vanished now. Roman wonders why he couldn’t show this side on stage more often.
“Remus? Please tell me this is you.”
To cover up his anxiousness, Remus flirts terribly, “Heya hot-stuff, what’re you wearing?”
There’s a relief filled laugh on the other side of the phone, “There’s my answer. Are you alright?”
“M-hm! You’ll never guess who made me feel better with a shit ton of groveling!” There’s an air to Remus’ voice that conveys humour.
“Remus.” Logan sounds so serious, Roman watches Remus sigh and roll his eyes at the care.
“Yeah, Logie. I’m okay. I mean it.”
Logan speaks again, that same serious voice, “I’ve been worried all afternoon.”
“Yeah...”
It’s quiet for a second, there’s a tension of the unspoken affection the pair have for each other floating in the room.
“I feel this is as good a time as any to tell you that I don’t think you’re a failure at all. You-I...In truth, I find you quite interesting to be around. You...You are...immensely talented in my humble opinion. I...While I understand we haven’t been friends for long- I hope it is not presumptuous to say that we are friends-But our relationship is...important to me. I enjoy your company and all you do for me. It...It is a true pleasure to be in your company, Remus. I-”
Despite the blushing on Remus’ cheeks, he softly mutters “You’re ranting again, Lo-Lo.”
“My apologies,” Logan nearly whispers out, there is affection seeping from his voice, “However, I meant everything I said.”
“I think you’re the shit too, babes. Sorry for worrying ‘ya.” There’s that affection again, Roman has never heard his brother sound so affectionate.
There’s another pause, Remus speaks again “I’ll make it up to you.”
“If you make a sex joke at a time like this-” Logan scolded, they could almost see his grimace.
“No, I mean it,” Remus laughs, “We can do something together. To make up for it.”
“I’d like that.”
Roman looks to his brother, the phone, and then his brother again. To him, it sounded as if Remus had just asked him out on a date, but he knew well enough that Remus and Logan were probably too dense to understand the implications.
“I’ll uh-I’ll talk to you ‘bout it later then, kay boobear?” Remus asks while staring at Roman, confused about the ‘oh-my-god-you-totally-like-him’ look he’s getting.
“Alright. Goodnight, Remus.” Logan’s voice drips honey and roses as he wishes him goodnight, there is so much Roman can hear wrapped up in that simple sentence and it’s a wonder to him.
“Goodnight.”
The call ends and Remus lets out a dreamy sigh.
Roman winds back and smacks Remus with a pillow in excited fervour.
“You did not tell me you were that in love with Logan!”
“Wha-You asshole!” Remus takes the pillow and smacks him back, “I am not in love with him!”
“Yeah right! That was the gayest conversation I’ve ever heard!” He nearly shouts, getting up and grabbing more pillows from the collection at the head of his bed.
“We didn’t even say anything juicy!” Teases Remus, grabbing pillows at lightning speed, preparing for what he knows is coming.
“It was in the tone! And don’t say juicy like that you dolt!”
Remus hits Roman with a pillow to the face. With an excited cackle, Roman launches an attack, throwing as many of his numerous pillows at his brother as he can. There is an all-out war within seconds. Both boys are shrieking and laughing. By the end of the pillow fight, they’re breathless and more joyful than they have been all day.
“How do you feel about a sleepover?”
Good. Remus feels very good about a sleepover. That night while laying in Roman’s dumb red sheets, cuddling up to his brother in the way that little kids do, he feels happy. Really happy. Genuinely happy. Logan had told him that it was hard to love somebody when they didn’t act as if they loved you back, and he was right. The smartass was always right. Now though, he felt it. His brother had cared, ran for him like he was the only thing that mattered to him in the world. He loves Roman. Apparently, Roman loves him too. His brother hugs him closer in his sleep. That’s more than enough for his brain to quiet tonight.
Addendum; August 20th -
Remus went missing this afternoon. It worried me greatly, but he turned out alright. Things between the Grimm twins seem to be better. On August 21st, they arrived to practice bickering but holding hands. They both appeared near ecstatic all day, needless to say, it was tiring. There will be no more need for the “Roman Incidents” section of this notebook.
Circled in red pen, written largely at the bottom of the page, underlined three times over.
Note: Investigate your true feelings for Remus Grimm.
#sanders sides#sanders side fic#intrulogical#creativitwins#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#i love tHEM#next chapter is intrulogical AND rociet....#i can write two things: over-dramatic dork loves different kind of over-dramatic dork and BROTHERS WHO CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER#ALSO THIS IS NOT SHIP FOR REMUS AND ROMAN I CANNOT STRESS THAT ENOUGH#the little addendum from logan <3#hes taking back his fic TODAY
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i came from your sanders sides uquiz thingy. please tell me about the au youre writing im so curious /gen
okay okay okay!! I love talking about things
also here's the ao3 link for what ive got so far
cw death
so, basically when thomas dies (it’s peaceful and shit, i’m not violently killing thomas sanders -), he’s supposed to be reincarnated, right? welllllll the universe kinda fucked up~ and it brought the sides back as their own people. now, it’s trying to fix its mistake, so they all ended up living in the same general area (ik that’s a huge coincidence but it’s fate stuff shhh don’t even worry about it sjidjskfjdjkd)
they meet each other in little situations through youth and stuff, but none of them ever really get close and stay close (cept for one pair, but yk- for the most part). untilllllll they all end up working at disney. this story relies on a bunch of coincidences and stuff but it’s fine lmao-
they somehow have thoughts that aren’t theirs, or vivid memories/dreams they can’t place. they get this weird pulling feeling with certain people that feels off?? they don’t know what the fuck is up- the fic is basically them all meeting each other, developing friendships and relationships, and trying to figure out what the hell is happening to them
the part i’m most proud of, though, is the characters! they’re the sides, yeah; but they’re also all completely different people! sooooooo i’m gonna go through them now bc I like them-
disclaimer- i know absolutely fuck all about working at disney, so yk, prolly very innacurate
Patton -> Theophilus (Theo) Patton Lovitz (all of their middle names are their canon names)
he/him, cis man, vincian
works as a general castmember; mostly waiters at different disney restaurants
look at him he’s so prettyyyyyyyyyyyy (picrew by nase_nikyuuu)
Roman -> Arthur Roman Kingston
he/thon (we got so many neopronouns in this bitch, get ready), transmasc, vincian
character actor, ofc!
happy happy man I love him (picrew by itslillyillustrates)
Remus -> Hybris Remus Gacy
he/they/it/crypt/gore, transmasc, pansexual
also a character actor but plays villains more often (his best non villain is captain jack sparrow)
i love it, kisses mwah (picrew by poika)
Janus->Hajime Janus Dolion
any/all, primarily ne/nem, pangender, pansexual
general castmember, literally works all over the place
ne gets two picrews bc i couldn't decide which to put lmao (itslillyillustrates and nase_nikkyu)
Virgil-> Alvara Virgil Ward
they/she/vamp/drac, transfem demigirl, lesbian
safety inspector (twas the most virgil job i could think of)
i am in love with her (itslillyillustrates picrew)
Logan-> Athena Logan Astra
she/they/moon/pix/this/that, transfem nonbinary, bisexual, demiromantic
works as a researcher in the animal kingdom
my personal favorite, no one is surprised, i want to kiss her (itslillyillustrates)
we got loceit, intrulogical, analogical, and roceit in this bitch bc im indecisive
so yea- there's yk,, plot, but you can read the fic if you want that ig
#thanks for indulging me lmao#i love talking about dumb shit#im tryna write the next chapter rn and it's hardddd#loceit#analogical#intrulogical#rociet
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logan lark’s adventures in trying to appease his parents
CHAPTER 6: don’t lose ur head (the terrifying tales of the grimm monarchy)
Summary: Logan Lark is a fairly average high school student. By all means, he should be impressing his parents on all grounds. Except...he doesn’t exactly have a social life. So after his parents give him puppy dog eyes, he decides to join the local theatre's youth production. Good grief...His life is about to get weird isn’t it?
Warnings: Potential ooc behavior, Roman is a teenager who makes bad choices EXTREME edition, Remus being Remus, Intrusive Thoughts, Minor Bad Parenting, so much swearing it’s insane (If I miss something please tell me!)
Notes: This fic is based off an idea from @under-the-blue-moonlight. If you wanna be tagged in chapters, please ask!! I love this freaking chapter SO much but I’m really scared of how it’s going to be received. All feedback is extremely welcome!!
Pairings: Intrulogical, Eventual Rociet, One-Sided Logicality, Platonic DRLAMP
Tagslist: @under-the-blue-moonlight @why-should-i-tell-youu2 @im-actually-ok @hauntedturkeycalzonedreamer @croftersjam15 @rainbowsixth @snaketho @wasinotwantedatthisexactsecond @a-soul-among-the-stars @sweet-razz-tea @the-cactus-lord
Over the course of the next month Logan learns that despite their reputations, Roman and Remus are the opposite of what everyone thinks of them.
Logan is the smartest person he knows, there is no way in hell he’d ever miss Roman’s multiple attempts to sabotage his role as Hamilton. Smart, and yet so oblivious. Each time Roman had tried to mess with Logan after he began cultivating a friendship with Remus he was miraculously saved from the torment at the last second. Remus is a hundred percent certain that Logan has no idea that he’s fighting off his brother at each and every turn. He’s not certain of much, so it’s saying a lot. There is a beautiful dichotomy in Logan’s logs of the events and the stories Remus tells about his brother’s scourge against his brand new ‘enemy’. On a page labeled ‘Roman Incidents’ in Logan’s succinct handwriting documents every incident through the month when Roman attempted to sabotage him.
July 20th - Roman tripped near my things in the drama room while holding coffee. When I went to check on my things, someone had removed the contents of my bag and filled it with around six pounds of glitter. If this happens again, throw the bag away. Glitter makes anything unsalvageable. You will keep finding it everywhere.
Remus knew Roman had been planning something. Of course he did. Though they didn’t share a room anymore, sneaking into it had never been exceptionally hard. Neither had eavesdropping, when it counted. It counted now more than ever because Remus had become unreasonably attached to Logan and when he heard Roman talking to himself and mentioning the name of his favourite little nerd badly he knew it was now or never. It took two excruciating hours of sitting still and listening to get the juicy stuff. He almost got caught by their mother twice. She’d only been home for three days and she’d checked on Roman twice in one night. If Remus told her about the amount of effort he was putting into something she might keel over dead from shock.
What a funny sight that would be to him. His mother, dead from the shock of his hard work to do something good, thumping onto the floor. He laughs a little, quiet enough to keep Roman from hearing. His brain supplies the rational next step of Roman running out of his room and distraughtly cradling their mother’s head in his lap. Roman sobbing. Roman blaming him. Roman screaming about how it was his fault. And it would be, if she died like that. Remus doesn’t think it’s all that funny anymore, but once the train of thought starts it can’t be stopped. He decides that eavesdropping isn’t fun anymore and makes his way to the kitchen, trying to shake the idea of his brother cursing him out for killing their mother out of his mind.
It doesn’t really work, but he tries anyway. The kitchen is full of distractions, good and bad. The knives in the block look so enticing to his self-proclaimed ‘shitty-dick-wad brain’, but the cookies he nabs from the cupboard are so easy to shove into his mouth that he figures it evens out. He sits at the kitchen island and doesn’t even bother to turn on the light. It takes six cookies in his mouth at once before he can direct his thoughts somewhere else momentarily. How in the hell is he going to combat Roman’s plan? He spits all the cookies onto the counter as his brother walks in, flicks on the light, and sighs deeply.
“You could at least do that onto a plate.”
Remus just shrugs, so Roman speaks again, “How’s your evening been?”
“Before like...five minutes ago I was really liking it.” Which was true, Roman slides into the seat next to him and picks a cookie from the box.
“What changed?”
“Shitty brain,” He replies, “Y’know how it gets.”
“I do indeed. Do you need anything?” His voice is surprisingly soft with him, to the point where Remus has to give him a confused look before deciding what to say next. He figures out how to fuck with Roman’s plan in that moment.
“I wanna go to Party City and terrorize the night staff.”
Roman only chuckles, Remus watches his twin put away the cookies and grab his car keys from the bowl on the counter.
“Come on then, we can buy some of those plastic babies you like so much.”
As Remus is falling asleep later that night, his chest feels warm. He attributes it to the upcoming scheme-ruining scheming. It’s easier than admitting that that was the first time Roman had willingly hung out with him alone since elementary school. He knows the next morning that Roman is most likely buttering up because he suspects Remus knows. Which is...fair. Even if it hurts a little. They get coffee on the way to the theatre and separate. They both have important things to do. The best part about their somewhat rocky-relationship is that they always know where the other is in order to avoid each other. Remus knows that Roman has gone to see Janus and probably make heart eyes and pine over him like a dumbass. Roman knows that Remus is off drooling over his arch nemesis. Today it is more imperative than ever. During practice Remus manages to steal Logan’s backpack while he’s busy.
He swaps the contents out with the six pounds of glitter he bought the night before and shoves Logan’s things into his bag for safe keeping. Nobody would dare look into Remus’ bag for fear of gore or weird pornography, even if he only has one in his bag at the moment. He’s shoving a small notebook in when he catches a title. “Hamilton Performance Experiment”. It takes literally all of his self-control not to immediately snoop. He makes it through, eventually meeting up with Logan and even carrying his bag to ‘be nice’ so Logan doesn’t pick up on the bag glitter. When Roman walks by with his coffee and “trips”, spilling his coffee all over Logan’s bag, Remus smiles.
“Oh! Logan I’m so sorry! What a terrible accident!” Roman cries, ever the actor.
Logan looks downright frantic as he lunges for his bag and rips it open. Glitter goes everywhere. Logan’s hair, Roman’s shoes, the entire dressing room floor. The look of distress fades from Logan’s face momentarily, returning full force when he realizes his things are missing.
Remus pulls them out of his bag in secret, walking to the corner of the room, walking back and exclaiming, “What a good prank Roman! You must be taking some tricks from my book!”
When he hands the things back to Logan, Logan smiles. He decides not to ask about the notebook.
July 27th - One of the props from the prop room was moved in with my things. I suspect Roman because of the look on his face when Remus took the fall for me.
Just because he didn’t ask about the notebook does not mean it left his memory. By the time he gets in the car alone with his brother he realizes that Roman is pissed off at him.
“Couldn’t you have left it alone? How did you even find out!?”
“I have my ways. Now shut up about it before I tell mom about that time in 8th grade-”
“Okay! Okay! I’m shutting up!”
And he did. However that included no longer voicing his plans out loud. Which meant Remus had to get creative. He was very very good at getting creative.
Dinner with their mother was much more quiet that week. Both twins brooding and not speaking with each other, their mother only prompting Roman to talk. It was too familiar in the worst possible ways. Remus despised his mother, but he knew how much his brother loved her. She was...well she was beautiful, intelligent, a very influential fashion designer, extremely supportive. Roman would go on about how perfect she was for hours. Sure, Remus could concede that their mother was beautiful, intelligent, and a very influential fashion designer, but whenever Roman talks about her he never says she’s at all a good mother. Especially not to him. He watches her laugh breathily at one of Roman’s shitty anecdotes from practice and decides he’s had enough of family dinner. He gets up and dutifully cleans his plate and places it in the dishwasher. The chef gives him a smile, and he smiles back.
“Remus, dear,” His mother begins in her shrill voice, “If you’re not going to eat with us, at least go and shower. Your smell is unbecoming.”
Then she turns back to her food like she didn’t just attempt to insult him. Jokes on her, it takes a lot more than that to hurt his feelings. He still ends up forcing himself into the shower for thirty-five minutes that night.
The rest of the week he’s more tired than usual, which the others notice. He makes an effort to not be, he really does. When his mom is in town, everything just sucks. He hangs out with Janus three times and Virgil once to get out of the house and away from his family. The other nights he spends sitting outside the convenience store with a monster or two. He ends up calling Logan one of those nights out of need for company. Logan chuckles when Remus makes up a silly reason for calling that he can’t even remember now, but he can remember Logan’s laugh. He listens to Logan talk about the book series he’s been reading and he feels a little lighter. He never ends up finding out what Roman has planned, but it’s so easy when it’s happening right in front of him. Despite his lethargy lately, he feels a fire lit in him when the missing prop is found with Logan’s bag.
Virgil and Janus are the only two teenagers with keys to the prop room. If Logan stole the missing prop, he would have had to steal the key. No one but the twins even knew Janus had a key, and Virgil was dead set on not letting a soul into the prop room. The idea that Logan, precious little innocent fucking lamb Logan, committed theft not once but twice enrages Remus. When they find it with his things, Logan is utterly baffled. Then he realizes the implications and his face pales. Roman calls for Thomas, spouting off about how Logan stole the prop and he should face consequences, when Remus laughs as loudly as he can.
“Hah! You guys are so funny! You think specs could ever!? Guess my prank worked out pretty damn good if you actually think Mr.Goody-Two-Shoes could commit such a heinous fucking crime!”
Thomas sighs, tells Remus to just ask next time, and leaves. Roman stares at his brother for a solid minute with his mouth slightly ajar. Janus and Virgil are both looking at him like he’s insane because it’s so obvious to them that Roman did it. Patton is looking not at him, but at Logan, with so much concern. And Logan...Logan stares up at Remus with the look of a small and confused animal.
“Did you really do that?”
“Of course I did! I’m the resident rat bastard, I have to cause a little recreational chaos.”
He’s pretty sure Logan believes him until they’re leaving for the day and Logan whispers a ‘Thank you’ to him as he walks by. He would have melted into the floor if Janus hadn’t put a hand on his shoulder and pulled him down to whisper to him.
“Why the hell did you let Roman get away with that?” Virgil is on his other side now with a scowl.
“Don’t know what you’re talking about JJ! I committed a very heinous crime!”
“Then why did Roman ask to borrow Janus’ key earlier?” Virgil asks, and Remus drops his smile to replace it with an annoyed look.
“He just fucking asked for it!? I can’t even believe I’m related to that half-witted twit.”
“Yeah,” Virgil scoffs, “Not really the sharpest sword in the armoury, is he?”
“Please, we’ve known that for years. What I’d like to know is what are we going to do about it?” This quieted Remus, but made Virgil smirk a little.
Janus continued, “After the backpack incident, and now the stealing incident, I’m half-convinced we have a brand new chaos demon in the group.”
“At least Remus’ chaos is fun sometimes,” Virgil mutters, “Roman’s just an ass.”
Remus gets away with being quiet as they talk until they get into Janus’ beat up old van. He doesn’t call shotgun, doesn’t slap the car's ‘ass’ as a joke, he just climbs into the back and sits there. He’s so quiet that Janus and Virgil are a little shell shocked.
“Remus?” Virgil asks quietly and pensively, it sounds just like that soft tone Roman used with him last week.
He’s quiet, Janus starts the car and clicks his tongue, “I’m going to shove Roman down a flight of stairs.”
“Don’t.” He manages, and the boys in the front seats go quiet. Virgil passes him the aux cord.
He plays “Call Them Brothers” by Regina Spektor and Janus and Virgil know that tonight will be a very quiet outing.
They’re sitting at IHOP drawing dicks on their pancakes in syrup when Remus’ phone rings. Janus and Virgil know who’s calling the second Remus sees the caller ID and smiles.
“Evening Logie-Bear, why do I get the pleasure of hearing your devilishly sexy voice in this IHOP tonight?” Remus says and Janus groans loudly.
“You’re at IHOP?” Is the first thing Logan says, which makes Remus smile even brighter.
“Yes, sir! I’m with Virge and Janny too, you wanna say hi?”
Logan sounds a bit contemplative when he mutters, “I was hoping you’d be alone...”
Eavesdropping Janus and Virgil make surprised faces, Remus smacks Janus in the arm, “Oh you were, were you? Why? Phone sex?”
“I wanted to ask for an opinion on a predicament.” Virgil smirks and Janus nabs his phone to speak for Remus.
“Remus would love to-Remus let me talk-You should come have some pancakes with us-Ow, watch the face!-and tell us all about how your science is going.” Janus can hear Logan hiding his laughter through the phone as Remus wrestles with him in the booth.
“It’s more of a philosophical predicament.”
Janus nearly sees red, eyes widening and making Remus cackle,“Why in the world would you ask Remus Grimm about phi-”
It’s silent for a few moments then Logan hears a familiar voice. “It’s Virgil, we’re at the IHOP on 81st and Green.”
Logan laughs brightly, “I’ll be there. Order something for me.”
They spend the evening with breakfast for dinner, and the four get into a fairly heated friendly debate about moral ethics. Janus isn’t sure he’s ever had more fun in his life. When he’s driving away from Virgil to drop Remus off at home, he can’t help but smile at Remus’ improved demeanor.
“Remus,” He starts after they’re alone, “I thought you and Roman were doing better, did something happen?”
“He tried to sabotage Logan twice for entirely selfish reasons, I wouldn’t care if he dies!” Remus dramatically cries.
“You and I both know that’s not true.”
They’re quiet the rest of the ride, and Janus gets out to give Remus a hug before he goes in. Remus ignores Roman’s questions about his whereabouts and locks himself in his room to try and keep his mood up. It doesn’t work, but he tries. He does.
August 3rd - Roman gave me a “peace offering” in the form of lunch. I am led to believe he was attempting to give me food poisoning, as Remus ate the lunch and has now come down with food poisoning.
His mother leaves for her office in Paris on August 1st. Roman cries and hugs her, says he’ll miss her, goes on and on about how it’s so terrible how she’s never home. He does this every time their mother and father leave, he has since they were young. Remus couldn’t give less of a shit. His plan now was finding out what Roman’s next move was. Which was hard because they were back to avoiding each other like the plague. They’d spent a few months getting better at being brothers, then one of their parents shows up and ruins it. This time it was great, Remus would never admit it, but it was. Roman made an effort when their parents weren’t around, a few months ago he started doing things like making dinner for them both and bringing it to him, offering to do a load of laundry for him while he was doing it, being mindful of his volume when practicing his singing and acting, all these little things.
He’d even started initiating physical contact again, which Remus couldn’t get enough of. Literally. An occasional pat on the back, a grab of his hand to pull him somewhere, a light slap to his knee or arm when he said something distasteful. Giving physical affection to Remus was something that seemed to be unique to Roman. It had always been like that when they were younger, and Remus didn’t think he wanted it to stop. Any time he thinks about it he always drifts back to his head against Roman’s knee a few weeks ago when Roman had carded a hand through his hair and then a few minutes later practically tackled him to douse him in perfume The shit smelled awful, but afterwards Roman had slung an arm over his shoulder and gave him a squeeze. That and the closeness with Logan kept him buzzing for the next two days.
Now there was nothing again. It was like Roman could turn off his affection for Remus and pretend he didn’t exist. Remus tried not to be angry about it, he really did, but he couldn’t stop the fire that he felt when the other people on stage got his praises and affection. Both of them were incredibly clingy, but Roman was so much worse at hiding it and it made Remus nearly scream. He piled all of his affectionate behavior onto Logan, and Logan never really minded. He’d place his head on Logan’s shoulder, hold his hand on stage, sit pressed up against him offstage. He loved it, he did. He loved protecting Logan, talking to Logan, existing in the same space as the dork was exhilarating. He hated having to protect Logan from his brother. There was no way in hell that Remus would let anything terrible happen to Logan, but there was no way he would ever let his brother��s stupid selfish decisions fall back on him. He knows he shouldn’t give a single shit, but he does.
His tiredness fades with his mother, but he’s still exhausted because Roman keeps trying to fuck with Logan when he knows damn well Remus won’t let him. The selfish ass. This time, Roman has the gall to pull his entire scheme in front of Remus.
“Logan,” He starts, his affected air is slightly dim today and his hands are hidden, “To apologize for my unkind actions, I have brought a peace offering.”
Roman hands Logan a little bag from a restaurant Remus swears he recognizes.
“Oh, thank you.” Logan says quietly, opening the bag and pulling out a wrapped burger.
Logan takes it out and inspects it as Remus wracks his brain trying to remember where he knows the packaging. It hits him right before Logan takes a bite. This burger is from the restaurant that gave Roman food poisoning a few months ago. It looks like the same burger too. At this point, Remus is half-convinced Roman is taunting him. He’s in a bit of a panic and doesn’t think before he snatches the burger and shoves it in his mouth.
“Remus!” Both call out, the wrapper is still on the end of the burger so he pulls it out then chews and swallows the thing whole.
He coughs and sputters for almost two minutes after, then shoots Roman an awful glare.
“What just happened?” Logan asks, extremely puzzled.
Roman is gawking at Remus again, “Why did you eat that!?”
“Fuck you that’s why, you horsefucking shiteating egomaniac bastard.”
Roman walks off in a huff, Remus lays on the floor.
“Are you alright?” Logan questions, handing him a water bottle.
Maneuvering onto his side, Remus takes a sip and his throat feels miles better, “I just straight up ate a burger whole like a fucking snake, how do you think I am dipshit?”
“Hm,” He pauses to think, “Bad.”
Both boys laugh, and Logan joins Remus on the ground.
“I am beginning to believe your brother has a vendetta against me.”
“No shit, Sherlock.”
Logan pauses, looking at Remus who is still occasionally wheezing.
“Are you alright...emotionally?” Remus wheezes and laughs at the same time, sounding something similar to a goose.
“‘Thought you didn’t know much about those, poindexter.”
“I do not. However, as your friend I feel like it’s important to ask.”
Remus just sighs, closes his eyes, and blows a raspberry at the ceiling.
“Me and Roman are complicated.”
“I can tell.” Remus laughs, Logan really is something else.
It’s quiet when Remus asks, “Do you hate him?”
“No,” Logan’s response is measured and confident like he’s asked himself this question a hundred times, “I don’t hate him. I think he’s got some things to work out, and is taking out his frustration on me as of late.”
He keeps talking, Remus covers his closed eyes with his arm, “More importantly, do you hate him?”
He almost rockets to his feet when Logan says curiously, “Or, more interestingly, do you love him?”
It takes him nearly two and a half minutes sat up and sipping water, watching Logan pack his things, to muster up the will to tell the truth.
“Of course I love him. Nobody else is gonna fucking do it.”
He could barely comprehend Logan’s response to his admission so he shoved it out of his mind with all the force he could muster, then waved a goodbye to him when he parted and left Remus with his mind.
He ends up going home early because his awful decision ended up actually giving him food poisoning. He takes a sick day the next day, and spends most of the time feeling like shit physically and emotionally. His brain has kept tabs on all the shitty feelings and thoughts he’s had and is now playing out a full length shitty horror movie about his life and his dumb brother and his shitty summer crush. Then there’s that conversation with Logan. The last sentence is running through him over and over again. He keeps coming back to it, though he’s sure Logan didn’t even mean anything by it. Seventeen words and his world was sent spinning.
“Ah, I understand, it’s hard to love somebody when they don’t act like they love you back.”
Logan doesn’t even know the half of it.
August 20th - Roman asked me directly to leave the production. Though I admire the effort, all it achieved was a quite awful night, and an angry lecture(?) of sorts from Janus. I do not believe Roman will be trying this tactic ever again.
Roman tries to apologize multiple times, but something angry and petty in Remus doesn’t accept any of them. They’re both getting more and more frustrated by the minute. By the time the thirteenth of August rolls around they aren’t on speaking terms again and everyone can tell that it’s taking its toll on them both. Remus acts out more than usual against people he doesn’t usually target. He scared an ensemble girl one too many times, to the point where she ended up slapping him. He deserved it, but it still stung. Roman poured himself into his role more than ever, but it only ended up stressing him out even more than usual. When his voice so much as wavered on stage it shattered his confidence.
It affected their friends as well. Roman spent more time with Patton and Emile, avoiding Remus and Janus as much as he could possibly manage. Janus rolled his eyes but just resigned himself to the tech booth with Virgil, Remus, and Logan. The only good thing that was happening lately was Janus’ newfound attachment to Logan. The pair's insane intelligence and love of debate meant one was nearly guaranteed every other time they were in the same room. It was exhilarating to watch, and probably exhilarating to take part in. Remus didn’t much care for debates, but watching Janus and Logan go at each other with an occasional snarky comment or new suggestion from Virgil was making him grow a fondness for them. At this point there was barely anybody in the theatre who didn’t adore Logan.
The staff, the cast, the tech. Everyone adored him. He was smart, diligent, and hard-working. He asked questions, didn’t undermine others, and respected the entire cast's talent at what they did. It was magical to watch everyone in the auditorium drift under Logan’s thumb. Remus was included. They were saving Say No To This until near last because of the lack of dancing involved, but it didn’t even matter. Say No To This was not needed in Remus’ seduction plan because Logan seemed to gravitate towards him with ease. He is a damn good friend and Remus is determined to make that boy his bride.
Despite his growing lack of sleep and reliance on caffeine, Remus is skating by just fine without anything bad happening. Until his brother decides to fuck with his life again. He’s on the thin line between being shitty in secret and full-on breakdown, Roman really isn’t helping his case. Remus is lounging on the floor while Logan reads in a chair next to the makeup mirrors. He hears someone enter, but isn’t bothered enough to move.
Ever the polite, Logan greets the newcomer “Ah, Hello Roman, how are you?”
“I need to ask you something.” His brother asks, and Remus turns his head away from the noise.
“Alright, what is it?” Logan sounds so measured and calm.
There is a long pause, “What is it going to take for you to realize you should quit?”
The calmness in Logan’s voice wavers, and Remus can hear it wobble, “Excuse me?”
“You heard me! I mean, it’s obvious I've been trying to get you to leave, so what’s been keeping you!?” Roman raises his voice near instantly, that same childish selfishness burns from his tongue.
“It is none of your business.” There’s a dignified fire raging under his voice now, it’s like he’s been practicing for this.
“You’re not even a good actor! From what I can tell, you’re entirely uninteresting and way too intellectual to be here!” Roman continues, Remus feels the urge to get up but he can’t find the will to move.
“Roman, please think before you say something you regret.” Remus knows what Roman is going to say before it happens.
“No!” His brother is so typical, “You have no idea what this role means to me, why can’t you just leave!?”
That’s typical too, Remus opens his eyes and looks at the pair. Logan looks pissed off, Roman looks pissed off, and Janus is watching from the doorway.
“I try very hard to give you the benefit of the doubt in regards to your debilitating egomania, but it is beginning to appear as if your whole sense of stability and purpose is built upon some false reality where you need to be the star at every possible moment. Go to therapy about it, and leave me alone.” Logan spits this in Roman’s face, then turns back to his book.
Clenching his fists and staring at the ground, Roman looks almost defeated until he catches Remus staring and his face morphs into something so bitter he has to force himself to look away.
“No. I will not leave you alone until I get this part. None of you have any idea how much I need it.”
“Roman-” Janus speaks up daringly from his spot by the door, his tone is enough to warn him to stand down.
Roman’s eyes are squeezed shut, his fists are clenched, “I know we have the same face, but I’m not a failure like my brother.”
That sends Remus to his feet and out the door before anyone can say a word. As he passes Janus on the way out Janus tries to stop him but he pushes past him, past everyone, and out the front door of the theatre.
Janus turns on Roman in an instant, walking slowly into the room and shutting the door with purpose. Roman’s eyes are sewed shut and all the guilt he tries to push down floods him when he makes eye contact with his pissed off friend.
“Roman, we need to have a talk.”
#sanders sides#sanders sides fic#ts remus#ts logan#ts roman#ts janus#ts virgil#intrulogical#REMUS BABY IM SO SORRY-#this title could just be titled 'roman fucks up for 4k words straight' and it would fit#i genuinely loved writing this chapter and i hope it goes over well with yall#roman IS going to get kicked in the teeth with character development#the boy has been self-sabotaging himself so hard#Honestly after chapter 6 imma need to tag 'The Grimm Parents' A+ Parenting' like i'm on fucking ao3 or some shit#anyway!! theres the fic!! happy reading!!#Love you all and goodnight!!
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logan lark’s adventures in trying to appease his parents
CHAPTER 5: helpless
Summary: Logan Lark is a fairly average high school student. By all means, he should be impressing his parents on all grounds. Except...he doesn’t exactly have a social life. So after his parents give him puppy dog eyes, he decides to join the local theatre's youth production. Good grief...His life is about to get weird isn’t it?
Warnings: Potential ooc behavior, Roman is a teenager who makes bad choices, Remus being Remus, Emojis (If I miss something please tell me!)
Notes: This fic is based off an idea from @under-the-blue-moonlight. If you wanna be tagged in chapters, please ask!! Here’s the fluff before the storm!! Next chapter two chapters are Heavy.
Pairings: Intrulogical, Eventual Rociet, One-Sided Logicality, Platonic DRLAMP
Word Count: 3296
Tagslist: @under-the-blue-moonlight @why-should-i-tell-youu2 @im-actually-ok @hauntedturkeycalzonedreamer @croftersjam15 @rainbowsixth @snaketho
His newfound appreciation for Patton didn’t change the fact that the idea of losing his first kiss to a stage performance sent shivers down his spine.
It’s not like he didn’t like Patton! That wasn’t it at all! Patton has been sailing in the high numbers ever since they had hung out at his home, Virgil had even made a group chat for the three of them where they talked regularly. It’s just that Patton was Patton. And Patton was certainly not his type. They had tried to practice helpless, but Janus kept telling them they were missing something. Remus said Logan sounded like a “sexless moron”, and though Patton disagreed and blushed furiously, Logan knew he was right. He had never had a boyfriend, let alone a crush on a boy. He knew he was gay because he found certain boys attractive, but he had never liked a guy like that. Yet.
He figured it would happen at some point, but until that point...he would have to be clueless. He ended up spending a lot of time with Remus as rehearsal continued. Though Patton wasn’t fond of him, he was Roman Repellent ninety percent of the time. Pretending that was all he wanted from Remus was easy. The other option was acknowledging how much he genuinely liked Remus. The whole time he’d known him, he’d told himself to steer clear of him. He’d never managed to do it, but he still told himself to. Something about Remus was interesting. He was a sort of enigmatic person who you could never figure out beyond the persona they portrayed. Logan was nothing if not inquisitive.
Sitting in the tech booth with Virgil and Remus, watching the Schuyler Sisters vocal practice, he couldn’t really be mad when Remus’ legs fell into his lap. They were in such close proximity, and Remus always seemed to have a need to touch people. Remus is talking about something mindless, and Logan is listening intently.
“If they have the gun, why wouldn’t they just shoot him?” Logan asks.
“That’s what I said! It’s like they don’t care about efficiency! You don’t have to torture every character!”
“Honestly, I cannot believe they would disregard the gun like that. Why introduce it in the first place?”
Virgil looks at Logan inquisitively, “Logan, do you even watch that show?”
“No,” Logan muttered, “Remus just tells me about it a lot.”
“I have no idea how you’re able to follow his train of thought, I have a hard time listening to him about regular stuff, let alone his favourite things.” Virgil says, and Logan knows he doesn’t mean it in a bad or mean way. Anxiety can make a person have a hard time listening, Logan just thinks it’s easy to listen to Remus.
He’s called back to the stage, so he can practice Helpless with Patton again. Remus moves his legs and pulls Logan up to his feet. They are standing nearly chest to chest for a few seconds, and Logan notices each time they’re this close how tall Remus is. He’s a little over a head taller than he is, and it's jarring to him. Remus pulls him down the tech booth stairs by the hand, practically dragging him like a rag doll. Virgil should feel lucky that Logan didn’t catch his snicker at Logan’s expense. Once Remus is beside his brother in the audience, they begin.
Patton’s performance is adorable, as usual. For Remus’ tastes it’s a little fluffy, but that’s the song for you. Much too full of innocence, he was about ready to beg for his chance to sing as Maria. He knew he had to wait his turn. Watching Logan’s performance was downright painful. His romantic face was a simple, deadpan thing, and he had flirted with enough boys to know you should never look that bland. Bland of emotion, not bland in general. No, absolutely not. Remus was well aware that Logan was hot, just in the way that cool anime boys are hot. All cold and domineering, but secretly an absolute angel. Remus planned on changing that angelic nature, but he had to give it time. Logan’s rap was abysmal in terms of emotion, and by the time it was over even Patton was cringing a little.
Roman nudged Remus, smirking as he whispered, “I think he’s hopeless.”
“I think he could use a good teacher,” Remus smiled at Roman’s wide eyed reaction.
“You can’t possibly mean you can you?”
“Oh, I absolutely mean me.”
Bounding up the stage stairs, Remus forced himself between Logan and Patton who were discussing the performance. Grabbing Logan by the hands excitedly, Remus beamed at him. Logan knew he had a very stupid plan just from the way he smiled.
“Logie-bear, let me be your personal coach on how to not be an absolutely sexless moron!”
The entire theatre went quiet.
“Remus, shouldn’t I be the one to help Logan?” Patton asked softly, his smile was nervous and Logan didn’t know why, “I am playing Eliza, aren’t I?”
“Yeah, well, you aren’t exactly dripping in hoes, are you Patton?”
“Wha-That’s not very nice! No, I am not dripping in….h-o-es, but that doesn’t mean you should help him!”
“I wouldn’t mind the help,” Logan chimes in, “I really didn’t want to have to ask Janus or Roman. Remus seems like the best option. He can give me pointers.”
Patton could argue that Janus and Roman were much better at romance than Remus could ever be, but if Logan really thought Remus was the best option he couldn’t say no.
When they met up at lunch, the room they had found was empty aside from the three of them. This would prove to be a bit of a mistake. When Logan made a mistake and it was called out by Remus with a quip or a joke about his romance abilities, Patton seemed to get a little huffy. Logan enjoyed his encouragement from Patton, but the comments from Remus always made him force away a smile. He was brutally honest, and Logan liked that. He wanted to be told when he looked like a complete doofus. Patton seemed to not agree, and interjected a lot on Logan’s behalf. After the first few runs, Remus seemed to be getting agitated. All it took was one more comment from Patton before Remus dragged him out by the wrist and shut the door behind them. Logan couldn’t help but wonder why.
“Will you stop that?” Remus hissed at Patton, they were around the corner but he was trying to be quiet in case Logan was eavesdropping.
“Stop what? Trying to support Logan? You’re just being mean to him!” Patton whispered back, obviously thinking the same.
Rolling his eyes, Remus let out a big huff of amusement, “You’re really dumb, aren’t you Padre? Look at him! He might be hot, but his whole face is like a dead fish when he’s trying to be romantic!”
“Wait, what?”
“What?”
Patton blinked slowly, staring at Remus like he had two heads.
“Patton, if I’ve suddenly grown a dick out of my forehead that’s stood at full mast and oozing baby goo, I’d love to hear about it.”
That made Patton recoil, but he raised his voice above an angry whisper to say, “You think he’s hot?”
“I mean...duh? You’re telling me you haven’t noticed?”
“No! No-I’ve-I’ve noticed! I just-” Patton stops, and Remus is confused now.
With a nervous laugh, Patton mutters, “It’s fine, it’s not like you’re actually trying to...Maria him. Heh.”
“Oh no, I am. I’ve been flirting with him this whole time, I think he’s just fucking dense.”
With that Remus watches Patton go pale, and force himself back into their practice room. Remus doesn’t follow. He’s pushed enough. If Patton decides to tell Logan though, Remus may have to kill him. He trudges over to the boys dressing room and throws the door open dramatically.
“What’s wrong?” Roman asks with a smirk, “Love confession gone wrong?”
“Pft. More like a bitchy third wheel.”
Remus lays on the ground, gently bumping his head into Roman’s knee and keeping it there. Roman moves a hand to pat his brother's head, but ends up carding a hand through his hair.
“Do you wanna pout about it or plan some thematically appropriate revenge?”
Remus lights up, craning his head up to stare at his brother, “I thought you hated Logan!”
“Oh, I do. That’s why I think he should date you.”
They both laugh, and then they get to work.
After flashing puppy dog eyes to Janus, they manage to convince him to help set up their exclusive after hours group practice. Somehow they rope in Remy, Emile, Logan, and Virgil. They know Emile, Logan, and Virgil will bring Patton. They also know that this is the perfect time for both their agendas. If Roman perpetuates drama, maybe Logan will get stressed and leave. If Remus gets to act out seducing, and-or marrying, Logan, then maybe he’ll have a chance at getting his number. He’ll have to try and get Logan to practice romance with him, because if he waits until he’s Maria he may have lost Logan to the unthinkable. Patton.
The teenagers all meet at a public park picnic table at around six. Patton, Virgil, Remy, and Emile sit on a blanket Patton brought from his car. Roman, Janus, Remus, and Logan sit at the picnic table, though none of them are sitting correctly. Roman takes the lead, standing on the table and addressing the group.
“My stupid brother and I have brought you all here today for an extra special practice session! We, the leads, have much work to do!”
Remus nods excitedly in agreement, “I personally think our first order of business should be to help Nerdy McSpecks to not look like getting it on is his worst fear!”
Most people laugh at this, and Logan even smirks a little.
“I’m more than willing to work on that first! It sounds like fun!” Patton chimes in, getting a nod of agreement from Virgil who is splayed out on the grass with his hood pulled over his face.
“So that Logan can be most equipped, everyone who wants to can try and be Eliza!” Remus calls out loudly, and Remy chokes back laughter.
“That’s totally not just for Remus.” Janus mutters, but Logan catches it.
He’s confused now. If Remus wanted to help him practice he should have just asked? He’s certain that a guy like Remus would ask, but he disappeared at lunch. Logan wonders whether he was embarrassed to ask, but that couldn’t be it. Remus was never embarrassed. Had Patton said something to him in the hall? No, no, he wouldn’t have! Logan is zapped into his own mind, not realizing everyone is looking at him for a response until Patton speaks up.
“Well, he doesn’t have to practice with Remus is he doesn’t want to,”
He shakes his head, “That’s not it. I was only wondering why Remus hadn’t asked before. It’s out of character for him.”
Remus cackles like a witch and grips his stomach like that was the funniest thing he’s ever heard, “Worried about me, Logie-bear?”
“Should I be? If so, then yes.”
The whole group was silent until Remus laughed again, giving Logan a playful kick.
“Get on with your marriage to Patton, loverboy!”
The practice with Patton went about as well as it did in the theatre. Virgil had a clear view now, and was trying desperately not to break into a fit of laughter at Logan’s expense. It really was funny, the lack of emotion in his face seemed like it was purposeful rather than a genuine lack of knowledge. When they were finished, Remus popped up, taking Patton’s place in front of Logan.
“First step to flirtation!” Remus begins loudly, most of the group deciding to tune them out while he instructed, “Lose your self-respect!”
“...Absolutely not.”
“Logan, boobear, you need to lose something to get the emotional stick out of your ass!”
Logan didn’t respond, looking away from Remus. That...that one did hurt. Even if he knew he wasn’t the most emotional person, it wasn’t exactly nice to hear.
Of course, Remus noticed, “Hey-Uh-I didn’t mean it like that! Maybe...Maybe…”
A light bulb goes off in his head and he grabs Logan’s hands, he beams as he drags Logan further out into the grass.
“Remus, what are you-”
He doesn’t get to finish, Remus places a hand on Logan’s hip and holds the other tightly.
There’s nothing he can do but follow his lead, getting another very close look at Remus as he places his hand tentatively on Remus’ shoulder. Today his makeup is purple, and his eyes look a lot less wild. His shirt has the name of a band Logan’s never heard of on the front, and his leather jacket is covered in patches and spikes. There’s no mistaking the distinct scent of Roman’s rose perfume, surely he was doused in it after practice to make up for taking a bite out of his deodorant instead of putting it on. Usually it smells awful and makes Logan want to gag, but something about a scent so sweet on a person so wild almost makes Logan lose his grip. Dancing with him is mindless, he’s being led like they’ve danced together a thousand times. When Remus raises his arm and spins Logan out, his demeanor breaks. He smiles softly, not because of the dancing, but because Remus is looking at him with the widest grin he’s ever seen. His teeth are so sharp, and on his face it looks so right.
He feels breathless when Remus spins him back in.
“You look happy,” He chimes into his ear, “Could it be that I’m already a talented seductress?”
Logan presses his head back into Remus’ chest and really laughs for the first time in a long time.
“Eliza,” Logan starts slowly, moving back to dancing position, “I don’t have a dollar to my name.”
Remus is confused for a moment, then has to fight back his blush.
“An acre of land, a troupe to command, a dollop of fame,” Logan has no idea the group is staring at the pair.
He’s wrapped up in dancing, a sweet smile on his face, “All I have’s my honor, a tolerance for pain, a couple of college credits and-”
“Your top notch brain,” Remus spins Logan again, and boops his nose before he returns a hand to his hip.
He can’t help but laugh again, “Insane, your family brings out a different side of me, Peggy confides in me. Angelica tried to take a bite of me-”
Remus feigns an offended gasp at this which makes Logan laugh a third time, “No stress, my love for you is never in doubt,”
Now Remus can’t stop the blush on his cheeks, with the combination of the lyrics and Logan’s laughter there’s no way he wouldn’t.
“We’ll get a little place in Harlem and we’ll figure it out,”
The dancing has led them into a more secluded area now, and though the others are peering through trees to try and see the pair but they can only see their legs.
“I’ve been living without a family since I was a child,” They stop dancing and stand and sway together.
Logan and Remus stand chest to chest, “My father left, my mother died, I grew up buck wild.”
“That’s more of a me thing-”
Logan rolls his eyes and plays him off, “But I’ll never forget my mother’s face, that was real.”
He raises a hand and cups Remus’ cheek like he does in practice with Patton, and Remus nuzzles into his palm. Patton does that too, but somehow this feels more...intimate. It must be the privacy.
“As long as I’m alive, Eliza, I swear to god, you’ll never feel so…”
Remus clears his throat then moves his head out of Logan’s hand, but doesn’t step away.
“If you’re that good with me, why not in practice?”
Logan is compelled to tell the truth, “Don’t laugh.”
“Mmm, No promises.” He’s clearly teasing, Logan knows him well enough to know he means he won’t.
“I have to kiss Patton at the end of the song. I think it freaks me out. I-I’ve never-”
Remus smirks, he squeezes Logan’s hip a little, “You know you have to kiss me too, right?”
“Somehow, that freaks me out less.” He admits, because he’s on a particularly honest streak. He doesn’t know why the idea of kissing Remus doesn’t perturb him. He watched him bite his own deodorant stick today. Bite, chew, and swallow.
“You know that’s weird as shit, right? Patton looks like the definition of a good kid, and is basically the sweetest person ever. You’d rather lock lips with the resident fucktard?”
“I don’t think of you like that.”
Remus has to take a step back and cover his face with the sleeve of his jacket.
“Logan,” Remus starts in the quietest voice he can manage, “You know you don’t have to kiss either of us, right?”
Logan makes an agreeable noise and nods, so Remus takes his arm back off his face.
“If it’s somehow less weird for me to be your first kiss, then you know I’d kiss you right?”
Whipping his head around and looking slightly shocked, Logan whispers, “Right here?”
“Take me for a coward, Logie-bear?” He teases, stepping back into Logan’s personal space.
Logan smiles wide, something he’s going to have to grow accustomed to Remus drawing out of him, “Only on occasion.”
Which is somehow the perfect answer for Remus, who laughs beautifully and takes Logan’s chin in his hand. The kiss is short but more delicate than anything Logan had ever witnessed Remus do.
Moments after, Janus yells at them to stop making out, and Remus throws himself through the trees to yell at him.
Logan has to take a moment and take in the fading tingle on his lips, it’s magnetic.
“Logan?” Patton had come looking for him, “You okay?”
“Yes, very. Remus was very helpful.”
Patton smiles at him, “I saw that laughing you did! You looked so happy!”
“I…” Logan is stunned from words, but Patton picks up the slack.
“It’s okay, I get it! Virgil gets embarrassed about laughing like that too!”
He follows Patton back to the group, and they move on. Logan’s mind won’t stop racing, and he can’t stop thinking about Remus. Patton and Remus are critiquing Janus’ performance of Wait For It while Logan sits with Virgil in the grass.
“Do you want his number?”
“Whose?”
“Remus’ number. Do you want it?”
“Why would I-”
“You looked like you wanted it.”
In the end, he gets Remus’ number. He texts him later that night after he finds himself unable to sleep and unsure why.
‘I apologize for the late hour, but this is Logan. I couldn’t sleep, and Virgil gave me your number this evening, so you can see as to why I am texting you now. I wanted to thank you for all your help today. I had fun, which surprises me. I do not say that often.’
Barely a minute later, he gets a response.
‘😍😍😘😘OH MY GOD LOGIE-BEAR YOU ASKED FOR MY NUMBER!? YOU SHOULD HAVE JUST ASKED ME!! 😍😍😘😘🤬🤬🤬Anyyyyyywayyyyyy If you can’t sleep maybe I can entertain you ;)))😳😳😳😳’
‘I would enjoy that. Isn’t there a new episode of that show you like out tonight?’
‘THERE IS!! I can’t believe you remembered 💕💖💕💖💕💖SO I’ll give you my IN DETAIL thoughts on this weeks 🤬🤬HUGE fucking disappointment!🤬🤬’
Logan didn’t end up sleeping until the early hours of the morning.
#sanders sides#sanders side fic#ts logan#ts remus#ts roman#ts janus#ts deceit#ts virgil#ts patton#intrulogical#one sided logicality#platonic drlamp#dude chapter 6 and 7 are straight up angst#ive had the idea for these chapters the whole damn time and im so excited#creativitwins are my life and the chapters are For Them#Roman makes Many Many Many mistakes#alt title for the next chapter#remus grimm and the terrible horrible no good very bad month#if youre reading this the chapter title for the next chapter is from six the musical#feel free to guess#<3#okay love you guys bye!
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logan lark’s adventures in trying to appease his parents
CHAPTER 1: anybody have a map?
Summary: Logan Lark is a fairly average high school student. By all means, he should be impressing his parents on all grounds. Except...he doesn’t exactly have a social life. So after his parents give him puppy dog eyes, he decides to join the local theatre's youth production. Good grief...His life is about to get weird isn’t it?
Warning: Potential ooc behavior, Roman is a theatre brat to the highest degree (Sorry Roman stans)
Notes: This fic is based off an idea from @under-the-blue-moonlight who very graciously let me use it! I’ve made a couple changes, mostly surrounding Virgil’s involvement and I gave Logan performance anxiety because I thought it would be neat. There will be warnings on the chapters that have potentially triggering talk.
Pairings: Eventual Intrulogical, Eventual Rociet, Eventual One-Sided Logicality, Platonic Analogical, Platonic DRLAMP
Word Count: 2584
There he stands, at the precipice of his own destruction. By all accounts, it is fair to say that Logan is blowing this out of proportion. Wildly. Though he was doing much more than adequately in school, had a fairly stable mental health, and was better than most teenagers in regards to his physical well-being and room upkeep, it apparently wasn’t enough. Don’t misunderstand, his parents were in no way vindictive or cruel. Just...positive. Overtly so. In a way that made Logan cringe. How he, a man of logic and science, was ever made from these two extremely lovey-dovey saps, we will never know. Despite all his successes his parents still encouraged him to partake in activities with his peers. ‘Oh Logan, why don’t you join the school football team?’ ‘Logan, wouldn’t it be nice to make some friends at the local animal shelter?’ ‘Why are you always by yourself? Wouldn’t it be nice to make some friends?’ No, it would not. Not for him. Other people are stupid, especially teenagers. His whole life was planned on the cork board above his desk, and there was nothing important enough to make him deviate from his goal.
To him, at least. To his parents, his social life being active was figuratively their number one priority. He’s been hoping for a calm dinner with his mother and father, he even enjoyed it most nights. He and his mother would discuss new things going on at the schools they respectively learnt and taught at. His father would discuss his work managing the popular local theatre. Discussing his father’s work tonight was a mistake.
“You know, Logan,” His father begins, and he knows where this is going, “The youth production is going to be starting up again soon.”
His mother smiles, taking his father's hand, “Loganberry, we think it would be good for you to join. You’re in your second year of high school and you don’t even talk to the kids in your class!”
“Mother, please try and understand, I really don’t think it’s necessary for me to find friends. I don’t enjoy having acquaintances, let alone having close personal friends.”
“Logan-” His father starts again but his mother pats his hand, and he quiets.
She smiles at him and reaches across the table to put a hand on his cheek in a caring motherly gesture.
“I know you don’t like other kids dear, but...think about it this way! It could be a fun experiment!”
Logan pauses, leaning into his mother’s touch, and nodding to show he’s listening.
His mother started again, “You can gather data on a lot of different kinds of people, and then find out who you most enjoy hanging out with so that...in your...career…”
Even though she’s trying, she stumbles, and his father picks up the slack, “So that in your career, you can find the people who you think are easiest to work with and be more efficient that way!”
He knows what they’re doing. They’re buttering him up with some flimsy science experiment and explaining their position with a strange metaphor. But when both his parents are smiling at him like that...he can’t bring himself to say no to them. When he looks at them like this, he suddenly remembers how similar he looks to each of them. His mother’s dark brown hair, His father’s icy blue eyes, the glasses that sit snugly on both their faces...They smile at him so brightly that he just can’t say no to them.
“Fine. I will do it, just this once.”
His parents erupt into literal cheers. He finds it a tad too much, but as long as they are happy he supposes he can put up with socialization and scheduling conflicts for a few months.
That’s how he ended up at the theatre with his father at eight in the morning, on a Sunday in July. If it were his choice, he would be eating Crofter’s by the spoonful and reading some classic literature. Instead, he’s here. His father did get them both coffee, however. So he stands there awkwardly, nursing the cup that’s gone lukewarm, and he starts to feel nauseous. As he follows his father, he can hear the other kids. They’re loud. Too loud. Logan is going to hate this, he already hates this. He’s overthinking a bit, eyes trained to the floor when he accidentally trips. He’s bracing to be smacked in the face by the floor and his coffee when someone taller than him places a hand on his chest and props him back up.
“Hi there!” Says the smiling man, who is tall with brown hair and brown eyes. He looks very kind and is wearing a Steven Universe t-shirt.
“I-I apologize for that, I wasn’t looking where I was going.” Logan manages to stammer out. Had he been this nervous the whole time? He takes a deep breath and tries to get a grip.
“Oh, no problem!” The man nods to his dad, “Hey, Edward! This is Logan?”
“Yes, he is! He’s usually a little more focused, though.” Edward nudges Logan with a smirk, and Logan has to nod and concede. He’s right, of course. He is usually more focused.
“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Logan! I’m Thomas Sanders, I’m the head on the performance department here! Your dad’s been talking you up for weeks, you’re going to fit right in.”
With these words, Logan feels himself flush a little. Leave it to his father to talk him up for no good reason. He had never even been in a performance before!
“Uhm-Yes. Thank you-” Logan begins and is cut off by a large crash.
Thomas lets out a deep sigh and turns, motioning for Logan to follow. His dad gives him a big smile and a double thumbs-up, Logan gives him a small and tired smile in return. He wishes desperately he had refused his parents the second he enters the auditorium. On stage, an adult in an orange beanie is reprimanding a boy dressed like he just crawled out of the mosh pit of a rave. The boy is laughing maniacally as off to his side, a nearly identical boy in a strangely put together outfit is pouting and crying crocodile tears. Logan makes a note to steer clear of the neon-garbage-rave kid.
“What did you do now, Remus?” Thomas asks with a sigh, as the kid points off stage and cackles.
“Remus started this year off by glue-and-feathering Roman’s make-up bag.” The adult in the beanie says, and Logan looks shocked. They’re certainly going to kick this guy out, right? Right!?
“Remus...Dude…” Thomas grimaces, making his way over to who Logan assumes is Roman and supportively patting his shoulder.
“What!?” Remus nearly shouts through his laughing, “It was funny!”
“It was not!” Roman cries with such an intense amount of drama.
This only makes Remus laugh more.
He’s watching so intently that he doesn’t notice that someone has entered and is standing next to him.
“Oh, Hello.” He politely mutters, turning to look at the person. He’s shorter than he is, and definitely a lot bouncier. Even at eight am, he looks joyful. His eyes are a lighter blue than his, and his head is a mess of blonde curls. He also has round-ish tortoiseshell glasses. He isn’t unpleasant to look at, aside from the fact that he’s wearing cargo shorts and socks with sandals.
“Hi! Don’t worry about them, Remus does something like that every year! He likes a-uh...fun start!” The kid starts talking, and even his voice is joyful and bubbly.
“I’m Patton Foster, it’s nice to meet you!” Patton offers Logan a hand, which he takes and gives a firm shake.
“Logan Lark. Is it typically this rambunctious, or does it calm over time?”
Patton looks down, a little sheepish, then offers Logan a smile, “It’s always like this. Sorry!”
“It’s not a problem. I’ll just need to adapt to my circumstances.” As he says this he knows that it is going to be an especially arduous task.
Pointing to his cup, Patton starts speaking again, “Is your coffee getting cold? We have a microwave backstage if you want me to warm it up for you!”
The offer is sweet and genuine, so he lets Patton take the cup and run off behind the curtains. If he’s going to be here, he should start on that experiment, so he thinks. Patton seems sweet, potentially too sweet. It may be a ruse, but if his behavior is genuine Logan thinks he might be able to get by in his interactions with him. At least he’ll be able to send him off to do polite tasks if he ever needs to.
Returning with his coffee reheated, Patton is nearly bouncing on his heels. Throughout the early morning, Patton drags Logan around and Logan realizes the bouncing is just how Patton is. He scoots by as Thomas introduces the staff. The person in the orange beanie, Joan, is the stage manager. Stood quietly beside them is a darkly dressed kid who only acknowledges the audience with a nod, his name is apparently Virgil Storm and he is running lights and sound for the show. Logan wishes desperately he could be up there on that stage. Not because he’s decided he wants to be here, but because he wishes he had known tech was an option. Damn his father for making him act. There are only about twenty kids in the audience, and by the time Thomas is done explaining the rules and conduct, the time is reaching noon. When Thomas announces that the production they will be putting on is called “Hamilton” and is a musical, the others begin to cheer wildly. Now, Logan has no clue what Hamilton sounds like, but he knows it is about the Founding Fathers. Musicals have never interested him, and especially not one about men who owned slaves and were all hoity-toity. He’s heard of it, of course. His father talks about how it revolutionized musical theatre, but Logan has never been interested enough to ask any further questions. As everyone is buzzing, he turns to Patton and taps him on the shoulder.
“Is that a good thing?” Patton looks a little puzzled and goes to answer before he hears an offended gasp from behind him.
“A good thing!? Is Lin-Manuel Miranda’s pride and joy, the musical that revolutionized musical theatre, the Emmy Award-Winning show Hamilton any good!?” Roman gawks at him and sputters like he’s never heard something so blasphemous in his life.
“I have no interest in musical theatre, therefore I was asking to gain clarity.” Perhaps saying this is a mistake because there are many gasps from other students, and Logan is pretty sure someone yells ‘Sexy!’
Roman snaps at him loudly and rises from his seat, “Why are you even here then!? You look like a nerd!”
“Roman!” Patton stands up and now Logan is cornered between them, “Don’t be rude!”
“Wha-Well I’m sorry that I’m confused as to why he’s here if he doesn’t even know about Hamilton!” He steps closer, cornering Logan even more.
Then he stands, “My father enjoys musical theatre and asked me to join, I don’t see what the issue is with my joining but if it truly perturbs you I suppose I will take my leave.”
He’s really grateful for this opportunity to abandon the theatre, and he turns to try and leave and ends up nearly chest to chest with Patton.
“Hey now! There’s room enough for everyone here Logan!” Patton says brightly, and from the stage, Thomas nods.
“Patton is right, Roman. We welcome everyone to try their hand at theatre, so please sit down so I can let you all go have lunch.” Thomas looks exasperated as Roman sits with a huff, followed by Patton and Logan.
On the stage, Thomas continues to explain what they will be doing, and then they’re being released to lunch with the goal of listening to the musical and beginning to practice their audition material.
Logan manages to slink away from Patton, who had started talking to Roman about being nicer to the newbies or something. He had forgotten to bring lunch, which was probably fine. He’d just have to go and find his father and ask for some money. Pushing the auditorium door open, Logan finally notices he has attracted someone’s gaze. He makes eye contact with a glaring boy in a bright yellow hoodie, and he nods. The guy looks away and Logan shrugs him off. The front desk happily calls his father, who comes and brings him some money for the lobby vending machines and promises to buy him something more filling on the way home. This would severely throw off his new healthier diet, but he caves. After this day he would probably need some disgustingly greasy fast food to make him feel a little better. After the stunt with Roman, he’s not sure he’s going to go unnoticed. He buys a bottle of water and a granola bar from the vending machine and decides to sit at one of the lobby chairs to avoid the others. As he turns to find a space to sit, a voice from beside the vending machine makes him jump.
“You’re not going to fuck up the show, are you?” The voice says, and Logan turns to find the same kid who was glaring at him before. From up close, he’s around the same size as Logan. His eyes are green-brown heterochromic, his hair is messy and brown, and one side of his face has vitiligo in a pattern that looks eerily similar to a reptile’s scales. He is glaring Logan down and he can’t help but feel a little intimidated.
“I don’t plan on it, no. Just because I am here against my will does not mean that I am going to attempt to make the show disreputable in any way.” He tries to say this confidently and he thinks he succeeds when the boy grins and offers him a hand.
“Janus Devine.”
“Logan Lark.” And then he stops, and realizes he recognizes the origins of that name,“Are you by any chance named after the Greek god of doorways?”
Janus blinks, seemingly not expecting that reaction, “Shit-Yeah-How did you even know that?”
“I pride myself on being well-read.” Logan adjusts his tie as he says it and Janus gives a little chuckle.
“Very good to know.” Someone yells from down the hall, and Janus rolls his eyes at the noise, “How would you like to come to join me and my...friends this afternoon?”
“It would probably be of good use to me.” He replies with a small shrug of his shoulders. Hopefully, these friends are nicer than that Roman fellow, but not as nice as Patton.
“Oh no, it’s going to be totally useless. We aren’t going to get anything done.” Deadpans Janus and Logan just stares at him a little confused.
“That was sarcasm, specks.” His counterpart tacks on when he sees the confusion on his face.
“Oh, right”
All he can do now is follow Janus as he walks down the hallway towards the loud group of people. Logan follows behind and watches Janus’ movement. He walks so confidently that it’s almost like sauntering, but it’s too slow. Too smooth. It’s like slithering.
Taking a deep breath, he prepares himself for whatever horrible experiences await.
#sanders sides#sanders side fic#ts logan#ts virgil#ts patton#ts roman#ts remus#ts janus#ts deceit#eventual intrulogical#intrulogical#eventual roceit#roceit#one sided logicality#platonic analogical#this is my first sanders sides fic#i did my best to make it not ooc#though roman is really a brat in this fic for a while#anyone who has done theatre has met a roman#anyway theres the fic#chapter 2 tomorrow if i can finish writing chapter 4
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logan lark’s adventures in trying to appease his parents
CHAPTER 3: i am actively trying to throw away my shot but it isn’t fucking working
Summary: Logan Lark is a fairly average high school student. By all means, he should be impressing his parents on all grounds. Except...he doesn’t exactly have a social life. So after his parents give him puppy dog eyes, he decides to join the local theatre's youth production. Good grief...His life is about to get weird isn’t it?
Warnings: Potential ooc behavior, Roman is a theatre brat to the highest degree (Sorry Roman stans), Remus being Remus, Anxiety/Panic Attacks, Talks of anxiety/medication, Throwing up (Not detailed)
Notes: This fic is based off an idea from @under-the-blue-moonlight. If you wanna be tagged in chapters, please dm me!! This chapter has a lot of anxiety and anxiety talk, so if you’re sensitive to that please be mindful!! Also lots of Logan and Virgil being friends, which I enjoyed writing! I also apologize for the delay, I ended up hating chapters 4-6 after I wrote them and have just rewritten them! Much more to come dw!
Pairings: Eventual Intrulogical, Eventual Rociet, Eventual One-Sided Logicality, Platonic Analogical, Platonic DRLAMP
Word Count: 2994
Tagslist: @under-the-blue-moonlight @why-should-i-tell-youu2
By almost all accounts, the next week got easier each day that passed. As Logan got acclimated to the chaos and worked on his notebook, things got much better. Part of this could be attributed to his time spent in the tech booth with Virgil.
Their goal for the week was to pick their audition song and perfect it so that by Friday they could perform and Thomas could quickly and efficiently cast the show. Their performance was in November, which was absolutely way too soon for Logan but Janus had assured him that it was more than enough time to put on an adequate performance. He took Virgil’s lifeline offer surprisingly often. Sitting in the booth and quietly practicing his audition worked out some of the stress in him. Sometimes Virgil would look up from his switch and make a comment on his performance or suggest something is changed, but aside from that, they were quietly comfortable with each other’s presence amongst all of the chaos that was the rest of the theatre.
When he left the booth, he was nearly swarmed by the others. It became routine. In the morning, he would spend time with Virgil, Patton, and their friend Emile. Oftentimes conversation was light, and the commentary was helpful and constructive. At lunch, he and Virgil would move to the tech booth and eat there together to get some peace and quiet in before inevitably being bombarded in the afternoon. After lunch, someone (usually Remus) would make their way up to the tech booth and drag them out to the boy’s dressing room. Virgil would sit in the corner and occasionally mess with one of the twins, or hiss at Janus in greeting, and Logan would be worked to the bone. He had decided to audition with Hamilton’s rap from My Shot; Doing the first and second halves, but cutting out the middle. Janus was extremely dedicated to being sure Logan’s performance would make an impression. Logan wanted the opposite, but he couldn’t argue with Janus’ dedication to making the entire show perfect.
Though, Roman’s attitude didn’t really change that much. For four days, he stayed at a zero. By Friday morning, he actually enjoyed his routine in part. Aside from Roman. Actually, Logan thinks if Roman was completely removed from the situation he may actually be happy with his current predicament. All this has just been practice though. When Friday afternoon rolls around and his audition is getting closer and closer, he tries to focus on the other performers. When it’s Roman’s turn, he pays special attention. Now he sees why Roman has an ego about these things. His audition was very good, and he felt natural on the stage. He would make a wonderful Hamilton, and he really looked the part. Despite him and Remus being technically identical, he looked worlds different. His clothes were ironed perfectly, and he had obviously dressed a bit historically today. His wavy hair was combed to let his face shine through in the stage light, and he was...dear lord, was he wearing eyeliner? Logan shook it from his mind and listened to him sing. Just like the days he’d seen him practice, he was very good. Obviously star material. If he didn’t get Hamilton, Logan would eat a page from his notebook. Figuratively, of course. That would be bad for his digestive system.
On either side of him are Patton and Virgil. He’s not really focusing on auditions until Roman’s, and after he phases back into his overthinking. He’s not nervous, he would never be nervous. Logically, there is no reason for him to be nervous. He’s just being vigilant. That’s it.
Virgil nudges him, “I can practically hear your thinking. You okay?”
“Oh-Uhm-Yes,” Logan says quietly, staring up at the performer on stage, “I’ll be fine.”
Virgil digs into his pocket and pulls out a little cube, he hands it to Logan with a kind expression, “See if that helps your anxiety.”
“I’m not anxious, there’s no reason for me to be anxious.” Logan scoffs, taking the little cube and running his thumb over the side with a small silver ball. The movement does make him feel a little better.
Virgil smirks, and flicks his shoulder, “You’re smarter than that, Logan. C’mon.”
He’s right, and Logan knows it. Anxious feelings can be totally irrational and are oftentimes a result of doing something new or stressful.
If he bombed this, it could be very stressful indeed. Janus would certainly not be happy after he put all that work into helping him. Roman would probably laugh, or make some comment about how he knew this would happen. Why did he even care anyway? He didn’t. He was simply falling victim to a very stupid bout of anxiety. When his name is called, he hands Virgil back his cube and makes his way up to the stage. He takes a deep breath, says he is auditioning for no one in particular, and then is cued in. He performs how he was coached, completely ignoring his anxiety and doing the best he possibly could. When he’s finished, Thomas looks very pleased as the crowd claps. Someone even wolf whistles and Logan is fairly certain it’s Remus. He sits quietly for the rest of the auditions, Virgil passes him back the cube.
The cast list won’t be out until Monday, so all the kids have the weekend to spend enjoying their summer. Well, if they don’t enjoy theatre. Logan managed to be very productive on his days off. His chart was filled and he indulged in sleeping in on Saturday. For two days he was not checkmated by social interaction at all, and it was a paradise. He managed to burn through four books from the local library, and was working his way through the fifth when his phone went off. He picked it up, not expecting a text from Virgil.
‘hey. logan i just saw the cast list and...god i really hope you dont get straight-up murdered.’
This had confused him heavily, and then he realized what Virgil might mean and he felt anxiety bubble up into his stomach.
‘How did you see the cast list? Isn’t that classified until tomorrow?’
‘joan and i are tight, they let me see it.’
That makes sense, Virgil seemed close to Joan and Thomas. Closer than he was, at least.
‘Are you willing to tell me who I am playing?’
‘you have to act shocked tomorrow if i do.’
He started to panic, and he looked up at the sky as if pleading with God to make this a dream or a prank.
‘Okay? Please tell me I didn’t get Hamilton.’
‘...sorry…’
His phone goes off a number of times after this, but he had to put it down. The lead? He was playing Hamilton? Alexander Hamilton, the leading man of the hit Broadway musical Hamilton?
The bubble of anxiety in his chest welled up and made him so nauseous that he couldn’t speak for fear of throwing up.
He didn’t expect this, he didn’t even want this. He had been so anxious at the audition, and now he was the lead? What was he going to do? He couldn’t perform half as well as Roman! Why did Thomas choose him in the first place!? The idea of standing on that stage performing with an ensemble made him queasy, but Alexander Hamilton had solos. Songs where he stood alone and faced a crowd of eyes just pouring into him, staring at him. Staring into his soul and seeing that he was just a fake. A hack. The lights would be so bright that he would be able to see into the audience and make out faces. Then, after the audience decided they hated him, he would disappoint Thomas who had picked him to be the lead despite first hearing the songs on Monday. He would be hated by the other performers, a wildly untalented newcomer coming in and taking Roman’s spot as lead-And oh god, how would Roman feel? Virgil was right, Roman was going to kill him. It would be righteous too, Roman deserved it. He’d stolen away the lead role in a show he was passionate about. Why couldn’t the production have been something like Shakespeare? Or, even better, there should have been no production at all!
He manages to stumble his way to his bathroom before he throws up, and he hopes his mother didn’t hear him. His hands are still shaky as he cleans himself up and tries not to think about the play. He still feels nauseous and panicked. He spends thirty minutes calming himself down. His heart rate and breathing had risen substantially, and when he had finally calmed he realized he had even been crying. Managing to pick up his phone again, he looked at Virgil’s messages.
‘logan?’
Then a minute later, ‘logan are you okay?’
A few minutes later, ‘shit are you panicking?’
And a minute ago ‘text me back asap’
It’s nice to know it was concerning behaviour to Virgil as well. As he thought about his strange spiral of thoughts and forced himself not to think about them all at once, he realized what had just happened. What would continue to happen.
‘I am okay. I believe I just had a panic attack. I haven’t had one in years.’
‘youve had one before?’ Ah, right. He hadn’t discussed this with Virgil. He hadn’t discussed a lot of his past with Virgil.
‘When I was in middle school I had joined debate team, but I realized that public speaking gave me terrible anxiety. I used to take medication to help, as the panic attacks happened semi-regularly. Eventually, I stopped doing debate, and I stopped taking the medication as I thought that would be the end of it. I suppose that was reckless thinking, as it may just be a form of performance anxiety overall.’
‘why then, pray tell, are you fucking doing theatre?’ Logan smiles a little at that, he wondered too.
‘I thought it would go away.’ Logan can almost see Virgil rolling his eyes at the comment, ‘I will speak to my mother and get more medication.’
Then he thinks of Virgil's behaviour and asks, ‘Also, and I apologize if I am overstepping, do you not have an anxiety disorder?’
‘yeah ive got regular anxiety and social anxiety. its a bunch of bullshit. why do you think im on tech?’ He feels a little bad for Virgil now, anxiety disorders are not very pleasant. He only has bouts of anxiety situationally, he can’t imagine it being near-constant.
‘I assumed it was because you enjoyed it. I will go and speak with my mother immediately.’
‘was being sarcastic L. anyway, tell me how it goes.’ Logan stops when he reads this. Tell him how it goes? That is an invitation to message him regularly, right? It sounds like it, or at least to tell him about a problem that has been irking him. That...that is a thing meant for friends right?
‘Are you sure? I was under the impression that our speaking was reserved for the theatre.’
‘i mean, it can be. but we can be out-of-theatre friends too. if you want. no pressure.’
This...this was a very welcome surprise. He supposed that despite his rebound into performance anxiety, making one of his first friends in a very long time could prove enjoyable. Scheduling conflicts aside.
‘I would enjoy that. I will update you.’
When he asks his mother about going back on his anxiety medication, she immediately jumps into a very motherly mode. She pulls him into a hug, and pets his hair, asking if anything is wrong, if he’s okay, the whole nine yards. As much as any teenager would hate to admit it, he loved his mother very dearly. This affection was...a lot, yes, but he could endure it for her. She was only showing her care. It was late afternoon, so the doctor was still open. Out of some insane luck, they managed to get an appointment that afternoon and he had his medication by later that night.
‘Virgil, I am happy to inform you that I am now in possession of medication for my anxiety again!’
‘that was super quick, congrats, im happy for you L.’
They talked for much longer, and Logan felt pleased by his gain in mood. Surprisingly, he was even able to talk about the books he had read with Virgil. If Sunday was on his chart, Logan is certain Virgil would get a twelve for today. Even if that broke his scale.
He made it a point to ask his father to stop and get coffee the next morning. Partially for him, yes. The medication was new to his system again and had made him slightly groggy when it started taking effect. Though it was partially to get a “thank you” gift for Virgil. He had asked what kind of coffee he liked the previous night when they had talked, and ordered his favourite. He offered to pay for his and Virgil’s coffee, but his father simply shrugged.
“You’ve had a hard week, I’ll buy it for you.”
He smiled softly, appreciating his father’s kind gesture more than he would ever say out loud. When they arrived he even gave him a hug, which was hard with two coffee cups but he made it work.
Before entering the auditorium he took a deep breath, and reminded himself that everything was going to work out. Which may be a lie, but he would have to enter to find out wouldn’t he? With a push, he made his way in. He regretted it almost instantly. He could hear Roman yelling backstage, probably having seen the cast list. To be fair, Logan didn’t know who Roman was cast as, but he hopes it wasn’t all too bad. Quickly, he manages to avoid any kids who are in the auditorium seats and slinks his way up into the tech booth.
“Good morning, Virgil.” He says, setting down Virgil’s coffee in front of him.
Virgil looks surprised, “Morning, is this for me?”
“Who else would it be for?” Logan asks, making Virgil smirk.
“Thanks, you should hurry down and look at the cast list though. Roman might rip it to pieces.”
Logan nods and hurries out, but makes the decision to leave his drink with Virgil in case of any...emergency.
Ducking into the backstage area, he finds Patton trying to calm down Roman, who is very very angry. Remus is laughing again, but Logan doesn’t know what is so funny about his imminent demise. Janus is the first to notice his presence and gives him a sympathetic nod.
“Patton, he hadn’t even heard of Hamilton until a week ago! What kind of lead even is that!?”
“Look, I don’t understand it either, but when Thomas gets here you can talk to him! I’m sure Logan is going to be shocked when he gets…” Patton had noticed him and was now staring, “here…”
Roman notices and turns on him and shoves the cast list into his face, “Look at this, Logan! You! You are playing Hamilton! Are you happy!?”
Logan sighs deeply, taking the list and looking it over, “Not in the slightest if that makes you feel any better.”
“That actually somehow makes me feel worse!” Roman shouts then sits down in one of the backstage chairs to pout.
Janus holds back his laughter, “Wow Logan, this is totally not hilarious at all, Roman should totally be pouting like a little kid and throwing a fit.”
“Guys! Seriously! It’s not a bad thing! Logan’s audition was amazing!” Patton says as cheerfully as usual and walks closer to Logan to point at the cast list, “Look, I’m playing Eliza! That’s super awesome! We’ll be doing a lot of scenes together so I hope we can become better friends!”
Logan just nods, going back to reading. Him as Hamilton, with Roman as his understudy. Along with being his understudy, Roman was going to play George Washington. Logan liked George Washington’s part, and though he didn’t understand his being Hamilton, he’s glad Roman got a large role. Janus would be playing Aaron Burr, which made a lot of sense. Janus would be wonderful as Burr. Patton, as he already said, would be playing Eliza. This was...a bit of a problem, the more Logan thought about it. Patton would be playing his love interest. He...he would think about that when it mattered more. Remus would be playing King George, which Logan was glad about. Remus seemed to really want to play the villain. Though Remus’ name was next to another character’s name as well. Maria Reynolds. Remus Grimm playing King George and Maria Reynolds. He would be in a scene where Remus would have to actively seduce him.
Just as he started to wrap his head around this, Remus slung an arm over his shoulder.
“Ain’t it just great that I get to be a monarch and a whore!? I, personally, couldn’t be happier. Make money, get dick, I always say!” Remus says excitedly.
Logan chokes on his own spit, and has to cough a bit before he can reply, “I can see how the seduction angle appeals to you.”
“It won’t appeal to me if you get sick and Roman ends up Hamilton!”
Logan visibly cringes and Remus chuckles, “So you better not drop out or something, dork! I can do a lot of gross shit but acting out the seduction of my twin brother is way too gross.”
Thinking for a second, Logan turns to look at Remus, who is smiling at him. His teeth are so sharp. His eye shadow is bright violet and a mess. He really does look like he had recently been at a rave.
“I’ll be sure not to disappoint you, Remus.”
#sanders sides#sanders side fic#ts logan#ts virgil#ts roman#ts patton#ts remus#ts janus#ts deceit#eventual intrulogical#eventual roceit#intrulogical#roceit#one sided logicality#platonic analogical#platonic drlamp#this chapter made me not wanna rip my hair out which is great#i wrote 4 5 and 6 then scrapped them because i HATED them#chapter 4 is now my favourite bc its really sweet#patton stans be ready bc we see a LOT of him#i hope it wont bore you guys#its just patton being a good dude and logan realizing hes a good dude for 2000 words lol#at the very least#we will get to see pattons family and logans thought process#okay love you guys bye
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logan lark’s adventures in trying to appease his parents
CHAPTER 4: a tight-knit family
Summary: Logan Lark is a fairly average high school student. By all means, he should be impressing his parents on all grounds. Except...he doesn’t exactly have a social life. So after his parents give him puppy dog eyes, he decides to join the local theatre's youth production. Good grief...His life is about to get weird isn’t it?
Warnings: Potential ooc behavior, Roman is a theatre brat to the highest degree (Sorry Roman stans), Remus being Remus, (If I miss something please tell me!)
Notes: This fic is based off an idea from @under-the-blue-moonlight. If you wanna be tagged in chapters, please dm me!! This chapter we see a LOT of Patton, a little of Virgil, and some Roman being an ass behaviour. I apologize if this chapter is lackluster, it’s important I promise!! Also I just finished chapter 5...its 3295 of intrulogical fluff
Pairings: Eventual Intrulogical, Eventual Rociet, Eventual One-Sided Logicality, Platonic Analogical, Platonic DRLAMP
Word Count: 2269
Tagslist: @under-the-blue-moonlight @why-should-i-tell-youu2 @im-actually-ok @hauntedturkeycalzonedreamer
After a few weeks, not disappointing Remus was a weak reason to be here.
Though he never considered himself a quitter, god he would love to just quit one thing in his life. The thing being theatre.
When Thomas arrived Roman bombarded him with questions. Turns out, Logan was cast as Hamilton due to his exceptional rapping. Roman, weaker at rapping but a very confident and strong singer, could provide the extremely skilled vocal performance required by Washington. If Logan were to get sick, Roman would play Hamilton and Remus would hand over Maria’s part to his understudy. Which made sense, of course. The beginnings of rehearsals were, by all means, not entirely awful. They were going to learn the music to the show, song by song. The first problem arises with Logan’s absolutely awful stage fright. After the first run-through of the title number, Alexander Hamilton, Logan almost threw up again. People looked directly at him whenever he sang or rapped. The musical director, Jamahl, assured him it was fine. Jamahl, as nice as he was, would be receiving a solid two on Logan’s chart. It’s okay, Logan, Everyone gets stage fright, Logan. That, quite frankly, sounded like a bunch of bullshit. Especially since every time Logan got too nervous and messed up, Roman laughed from off to his side.
Which shouldn’t bother him. It really shouldn’t. Except...Well, it was infuriating to be laughed at. For something he can’t control no less. He was ready to ball up his script and pelt him with paper until he stopped being a colossally egotistical idiot. Along with Roman’s frankly abhorrent behaviour, Logan also had to deal with feigning...romantic intimacy. Don’t get him wrong, Patton was a very nice guy. But...how would you feel knowing your first kiss would have to be fake for a theatre production? Bad. You would feel bad. So does Logan. Logan is sick of all of this, and by the end of the second week he finally snaps.
When he hears that during Helpless he needs to kiss Patton, he doesn’t bother to hide his surprise. Of course, after he does, Roman decides to open his big dumb mouth.
“What’s wrong, Microsoft nerd? Upset that your first kiss will be on the stage?”
Patton reels back and glares at Roman almost instantly, opening his mouth to defend Logan, when Logan turns on Roman himself.
“I am beginning to wonder if you ever just shut up,” Logan snaps, fists balled in anger.
“Because honestly, for the two weeks I have been in this theatre program, you have done nothing but spout off like a tea kettle about to boil over all because I happened to be better than you at one thing. So I am sincerely asking, do you ever shut up?”
Somehow, he has done the impossible. Roman is stunned into silence, his face goes red with anger.
“How dare-” Is all he manages to get out before Thomas calls for a five-minute break.
Thomas motions for Logan to come over to him, and he’s still fuming. If he were as dramatic as a certain hoity-toity theatre brat, he would be practically foaming at the mouth. Thomas is an adult, so he tries to pull himself together.
“I apologize-”
“Don’t. Roman kinda deserved that,” Thomas says with a smirk, “He’s a great kid, but he has a lot to learn.”
It’s his turn to be shocked into silence, because never in a million years would he expect an adult to enable such an outburst.
“Really though, Logan, Just try not to let it happen again. I’ll let it slide this time, okay?”
With a nudge to the side and a kind smile, Logan is sent to have his break.
Roman is quiet for the rest of the day. Logan could not be more pleased. Roman’s anger at him was unjustified and awful, he was overall awful. After today, he would need to add a negative rating to his charts. He doesn’t think he could ever get along with someone like Roman without eventually succumbing to his anger and strangling him. Logan knows his extreme anger is wrong, but Roman was just...just...absolutely, unbelievably, infuriating. Sitting in the lobby waiting for his father like usual, he is approached by Patton. Alone this time, without Virgil. Which is strange.
“You look like you’re about to rip someone's head off,” Patton giggles out with a sympathetic smile.
Logan sighs and gives him a little smirk, “My apologies, are you going to be getting a ride with Virgil tonight?”
“No, his dad is picking him up! I was actually wondering if you wanted to hang out!”
“I-” Logan thinks on this for a while, then shrugs. It may be for the best. Patton has been very kind, and he has defended him when Roman was being a jerk.
“Sure, let me message my father.”
Patton’s car is a beat-up looking second-hand thing that looks like it rolled out of a dump. Inside, it’s actually very well taken care of. Patton calls the car “Christine” and pats her lovingly. Hanging from the rear-view mirror is a small frog-shaped air freshener that makes the car smell of strawberries. The seats are comfortable, and Patton’s music is sweet. Eventually they pull into a parking lot in a townhouse area, and as they walk down the street Patton waves and says hello to all his neighbours that are outside.
“You know them all?”
“Oh, yeah! Lots of them have babysat me, or my sisters! And I’ve babysat for them too!”
Huh. He didn’t know Patton had sisters. Though, the second they enter his house, it’s entirely obvious.
In the living room, there are three young girls. Patton’s shoes are barely off when the two youngest ones rush him and engulf him in hugs. The older one walks over and smiles at Logan first.
“Hi, which one are you?” She asks, and Patton laughs.
“Delilah Ann! That’s not nice!”
“I’m Logan, it’s nice to meet you.”
“I’m Lilah, I’ve heard a lot about you. Mostly ‘cause Pat doesn’t shut up.”
Patton looks a little pouty, but Logan thinks he likes Lilah. She doesn’t look much like Patton at all. Her hair is more wavy than curly, and a very nice strawberry blonde colour. She doesn’t have glasses, and dresses very tomboyish, the only thing that ties them together are their freckled cheeks. She’s only thirteen, but Logan finds her interesting to talk to. While Patton is dealing with the younger ones, she tells him about how she wants to be a mortician and is the smartest in her family. Logan smiles a little while they have a mostly one-sided conversation.
One thing the siblings have in common is certainly their talkative likability.
The younger two are put to work on their homework at the dining table, and Patton begins to set up dinner. Logan sits next to the girls at the table, Delilah retreating to her room, chatting with Patton as he cooks. He offered to help but was denied at every turn. Something about him being a guest, and how he shouldn’t have to. They’re discussing their roles in the play when the youngest slams her head against the table dramatically.
“Patton! I don’t wanna do this anymore!” She whines, Patton puts some potatoes in a pot then brushes off his hands on his apron.
“Do you need help, or do you need a break?”
“Help!”
Logan peers over her paper and sees a bunch of simple multiplication questions, she must only be in second or third grade.
He clears his throat, “If you’d like, I could help you.”
“Oh! Oh! Yes! Patton can Logan help me please!”
Patton agrees, despite obviously looking at Logan and saying ‘You really don’t have to’ with his eyes. Logan likes to teach, he’s more than happy to help out. Especially since Elaine is extremely charming. You can definitely see how much she looks like Patton. Big square glasses, blonde hair in pigtails, tons of freckles dotting chubby cheeks. She acts like him too, spouting out awful dad jokes that make Patton lose it laughing in the kitchen. She tries her best to listen, and manages to actually complete her math homework with a pretty good mark. Her teacher will hopefully be impressed. Logan’s dad texts and asks if he needs to be picked up, but Elaine begs him to stay for dinner and...well he can’t say no, can he? Patton says he doesn’t have to stay, but he wants to.
He’d never had siblings, it had always just been him and his parents. Though he loved them, and they loved him, it was so...lonely sometimes. He had always wanted a little brother or sister, maybe even a pet, but it never really happened. The energy in Patton’s house was somehow a perfect mix of lively and calm, they felt like they were really a family. Logan relished in it. The feeling of community, full of love so openly given and received. The most he had were very quiet holiday dinners with the few Larks who were left. He remembers being Elaine’s age, he felt so lonely. She wasn’t lonely though, she was full of love. So was Patton. It was very nice. He watches Patton cook and he chats with him while realizing he’s been much too harsh on him. His kindness wasn’t fake, there was no way. He was a real person who was actually that nice. He defended him out of the kindness of his heart.
Ding.
hey logan wyd rn
Ah, Virgil. That was a pleasant surprise.
I’m actually at Patton’s house. Elaine has roped me into staying for dinner.
He can almost hear Virgil’s little chuckle.
yeah she does that hows sophie
Sophie? Oh, that must be the third sister. She’s very quiet, her eyes haven’t once looked upwards the whole time they’ve been sat together.
“Ahem-Uhm-Sophie,” Logan starts, and Sophie looks up from her homework, “Virgil was wondering how you are?”
Her eyes light up, “I’m good. Is he going to come over?”
She’s good. She wants to know if you will be coming over.
hah, sure tell her to give me 20
“Yes, give him twenty minutes.”
Sophie smiles, and Logan is reminded of Virgil almost immediately. She has dark brown hair that covers her face and a bit of a natural glare. Her smile is shy, and he wonders if Patton secretly stole Virgil’s little sister.
It seems like it, even more, when Virgil actually gets there. Sophie’s entire demeanor changes. She becomes extremely talkative and tells Virgil all about how she’s got a new villager in her animal crossing town. Virgil entertains her with talking, going and helping Patton to cook. Logan gets up to help as well, but Virgil waves him away. Virgil looks like he belongs here, in this little dining room-kitchen. He’s laughing beside Patton, talking to both girls and Logan, helping cook and set the table. Logan can’t help but wonder how many times he’s done this before. While Patton is putting the food on the table, the door opens and a tired-looking woman enters. Virgil goes to greet her, and she smiles. Her hair is curly and blonde, her eyes are a cloudy green, she is covered in a smattering of freckles, and she looks...just like Patton.
Logan gets up to go greet her as well. When she sees him she beams and it’s like he’s been confronted by the sun herself.
“You must be Logan! Virgil and Patton talk my ears off about you!” She pats his head, and continues, “The boys just adore you! It’s about time you came for dinner!”
He almost can’t speak, and both Virgil and Patton whine about her embarrassing them, but he nods, “Thank you for having me, but I’ve only known them for two weeks, Ma’am.”
The woman looks a little confused, then laughs joyously, “No need for that, kiddo! Just call me Lisa, okay?”
After patting him on the shoulder, she slinks by and greets all her children. Lilah has come back down, and the whole table is now filled to the brim. Dinner is filling and delicious, Patton really has a talent for the culinary arts. Which is strange considering Logan took him as someone who, like him, couldn’t cook to save his life.
After dinner, Patton brings Logan and Virgil to his room to hang out. They play video games, talk about anything they can manage, and by the time it’s late Logan is smiling. At nine, Elaine and Sophie are whining about Patton putting them to bed. Virgil and Logan wish them good night and Virgil drives Logan home.
“Logan, I’ve gotta ask...why did you agree to hang out with Patton?”
“Well...I’m not actually sure. I think that I needed it.”
“How do you mean?”
Logan looks out the window and thinks to himself. Why? He’s never had friends, or much of a close family. He figured he agreed because well…
“Patton has something I don’t. It helped me understand him better to see what he has.”
Virgil accepted that, but Logan wasn’t sure he understood it fully. He’s not even sure he does.
That night, Roman gets a negative two. Patton gets a ten, and written on his pages are the names and personalities of his family members. Along with that, is a very simple phrase.
I have concluded that Patton is, indeed, a very good person.
Why it took him this long to come to terms with, he will never understand.
#sanders sides#sanders side fic#ts logan#ts patton#ts virgil#ts roman#ts deceit#ts janus#ts remus#eventual intrulogical#eventual roceit#intrulogical#roceit#one sided logicality#platonic analogical#platonic drlamp#my neck is so stiff ive been at my computer all day#its bed time for mr writer man#that me#ANYWAY theres the fic!!#i hope you like this chapter#next chapter#is so fucking#GOOD#im so impressed with my own writing but only with romance involved#luckily next chapter is FULL of it ;)#i dont even think anyone reads these but oh well!!#goodnight my dears dont let remus bite
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logan lark’s adventures in trying to appease his parents
CHAPTER 2: meet the plastics (but more stressful emotionally)
Summary: Logan Lark is a fairly average high school student. By all means, he should be impressing his parents on all grounds. Except...he doesn’t exactly have a social life. So after his parents give him puppy dog eyes, he decides to join the local theatre's youth production. Good grief...His life is about to get weird isn’t it?
Warning: Potential ooc behavior, Roman is a theatre brat to the highest degree (Sorry Roman stans), Remus being Remus
Notes: This fic is based off an idea from @under-the-blue-moonlight. Logan makes a Friend, Roman is a Brat, and the experiment finally begins
Pairings: Eventual Intrulogical, Eventual Rociet, Eventual One-Sided Logicality, Platonic Analogical, Platonic DRLAMP
Word Count: 2057
As soon as he arrives he realizes he probably should have mentally prepared himself more. Janus opens the door to the men’s dressing room, and he gets a small glimpse of the chaos.
Roman is loudly and dramatically singing along to some musical theatre song playing over the room’s speakers, Remus is playing a game of cat-and-mouse game with a kid Logan didn’t notice before for a cup of coffee, and Virgil is perched on one of the makeup benches with his knees pulled up to his chest and a Nintendo switch in his lap.
“Boys,” Janus begins, and only Virgil looks up, “I invited Logan-”
At that, Roman halts in his tracks and wildly gestures at Janus, “You deceitful little harlot! You told me you were going to intimidate him!”
“I did, I’m very scary.” Said harlot replies, then looks at Logan to back him up.
So Logan nods because there’s no use in lying to them. He had intimidated him for a short time, though he never thought it was bad-natured.
With a huff, Roman turns on Logan, “If you even think of auditioning for the lead-”
“That won’t be a problem. I intend to get the smallest part possible.”
Janus smiles at him with that, “See, Roman? Not a bad guy, just a newbie.”
Roman is about to speak again when Remus crashes into him and they both end up on the floor.
“Remus get off!” The shorter brother screams with a push, “I’m getting dust all over me!”
Remus cackles and springs up to stand, he doesn’t bother brushing himself off but offers Roman a hand, “Just for that, I’m gonna sweep and pour all the dust into your pants!”
“Don’t you dare!” He shouts again but takes Remus’ hand nonetheless, and then begins to brush himself off.
Confused, Logan speaks up, “Why did you crash into him in the first place? He was fairly easy to avoid?”
“I’m just unpredictable like that!” Remus says to him, then with the same vigor as before continues to chase down the boy with the coffee cup.
After another five or so minutes of Remus running around, he managed to tire himself out and laid on the floor underneath Virgil. The boy with the coffee, who introduced himself as Remy, sat down with Roman and Janus to discuss the show. Things were fairly quiet, and Logan was still standing by the door. Janus, Roman, and Remy were much too busy to call him over, but Remus gave him a smile and beckoned him to join him and Virgil. With another deep breath, he walks over and takes a seat. It would be important to gather information for his chart.
“Hey, nerdy wolverine! You looked like a lost puppy over there!” Still on the floor, he looks up to Logan in his chair.
He blinks slowly, then nods, “I...suppose that’s one way of putting it.”
“Can you blame him?” Virgil mutters, “It’s his first day and he has to deal with all of you.”
“I am a fucking delight to be around, Virgil!” Shouts Remus, sitting up straight and pouting at him. Then he gets up all the way and sits on the counter with Virgil, kicking his long legs like a child.
“I don’t believe we have been formally introduced,” Logan begins, looking up at Remus, “My name is Logan Lark.”
The taller boy tilts his head to the side, and grins, “Do you have a stick up your ass or is that just how you talk?”
“I-Why would having a stick up my behind affect how I talk?” Logan asks and adjusts his glasses.
Both Virgil and Remus laugh at that. While Virgil’s is soft and he hides it behind his switch, Remus throws his head back and cackles. Logan watches, and he notices the exceedingly sharp canines in Remus’ mouth. He doesn’t know why he’s watching in the first place. Perhaps his strangeness is particularly captivating up close.
“He’s asking if you’re uptight.” Virgil offers him, and then Logan gets it.
He shakes his head, “I don’t think so. Just boring.”
“Awe, Logie!” Remus coos at him, “I bet you’re super fucking interesting! And if not I can always corrupt you and make you interesting!”
Logan wonders if he could. Despite his boundless energy, extreme bluntness, and extravagant ideas of fun, Remus seemed nice. In a weird way.
“Logie?” Virgil asks with a scrunched up nose.
“It’s a nickname, dumbass!” Remus shouts with a scowl.
“I don’t mind.”
This seems to set off a debate about the merit of Remus’ nickname choices between the pair on the bench. While they debate, Logan eats his granola bar. He hadn’t been thinking when he said he didn’t mind. He did mind, or he usually would. Nicknames were usually given to him maliciously, but he hadn’t minded them from Remus. It seemed in character, despite the little he knew about his character.
Unknowingly, he had drifted into his thoughts, only realizing when Virgil waved a hand in front of his face.
“Think it’s time for actors to get to work.”
Logan smiles as he snaps back to reality, “Oh-Thank you.”
He pauses when he gets up and gives Virgil a nod, “I wish I had known tech was an option.”
“It usually isn’t, but you’re quiet enough for Joan to let you hang out in the booth when you want.” Virgil gives him a small smile like he knows Logan is not having a particularly great day, then turns back to his game.
He reminded himself to breathe again, as his chest tightened when he approached the others and sat down.
They spent the next few hours listening to the soundtrack and discussing who they would cast, what roles they wanted, and their skill sets. To Logan’s surprise, the music was actually very interesting to listen to. Hip-hop and rap were not what he was expecting. Though, it wasn’t unpleasant. He actually found himself enjoying a lot of music from the genre and hearing a musical in the style was refreshing. His father, bless his soul, mostly played things akin to The Sound Of Music.
“So, Logan,” Janus asked pointedly, “What can you do? Theatre speaking.”
“Does it matter? He wants ensemble!” Roman sighed, rolling his eyes. Logan made note of that, Roman-types are certainly going on the bottom of his chart.
“Our ensemble has to be good, Roman. Not just you.” Hisses Janus, rolling his eyes as well. Roman and Janus seemed very similar, though he much preferred Janus. He seemed like a team-player.
He cleared his throat to speak, then his voice choked anyway as he began, “I am able to sing, though I feel for this show it is important to share that I can rap.”
“No fucking way!” Exclaimed Remus, who now looked like a kid in a candy shop. He couldn’t be angry at his surprise, it is shocking. He wears a necktie.
“What Remus said!” Chimes in Remy.
With a strange look in his eyes, Roman sputters out, “You can rap!?”
“Is it that surprising?” Of course, it was. He spent nearly the rest of the afternoon proving to the others that he could rap. At some point, Janus had sarcastically asked if he would consider auditioning for Hamilton, and this made Roman nearly explode. Figuratively.
By the time the afternoon was over and the others were going home, he had been worn out by the social interaction and overall exuberant energy. Sitting in the lobby now, waiting for his father, he saw Virgil and Patton coming out of the theatre together.
“Logan!” Patton exclaimed and ran over dragging Virgil by the sleeve, “How was your first day!”
“I think it was probably tiring, he spent the afternoon with the idiots.” Scoffs Virgil, and Logan nods in agreement.
“Yes, Virgil is right. I’m exhausted and we barely did a thing.” Logan mutters, undoing his tie slightly. Had he been this tired all day?
“Oh goodness, that sounds awful! Do you need a ride home?”
“No, I’m waiting for my father. He works in the building.”
“Okay! Make sure to get a good sleep tonight, tomorrow I’m sure Janus will put you through the wringer!” Patton smiles brightly at him and walks off.
Before following, Virgil gives him a look and then hands him a slip of paper, “That’s my number. Text me when you need a break tomorrow.”
Logan is stunned silent and all he can do is nod while Virgil catches up to Patton.
He’s too tired to think, so he simply rests his head against the back of the seat until his father arrives. His father probably realized how tired he was, so he didn’t talk to him much. They got in the car, got food, and went home. Their apartment smelled amazing when they got home. His mother had been baking again. When he all but collapsed onto the couch, his mother handed him two cookies with jelly on them and he smiled. As he sat and ate, his mother and father sat next to him watching TV. He was about to get up and drag himself through his nighttime routine when his mother began to run a hand through his hair and pressed a kiss to his forehead.
When he woke up the next morning in his bed, he knew he had fallen asleep on the couch. He hadn’t realized how exhausted and stress-ridden he had been yesterday, but a full night's rest had helped significantly. Now that he was much less tired, he took out the paper with Virgil’s number and put it into his phone. Showering, dressing, making coffee and toast, his routine was simple but it made him feel a lot better. Then he remembered the chart, and he finally felt like himself again. With his focus renewed, he had an hour now before he had to leave with his father. He managed to make himself lunch and pack a small bag in fifteen minutes, before getting out his pens and a fresh notebook from his desk.
On the front of the notebook, he quickly wrote “Hamilton Performance Experiment”, and then got to work. The first six pages were reserved for a later time when he could further write in them. He assumed his time would be spent most with Patton, Roman, Remus, Janus, and Virgil. So, each got their own page, then an extra page for others he would meet. If they became important, he could give them their own page and write the page number next to their name. On page eight he began his chart. It had everything a good chart should. Clean black lines, an x and y-axis, a title. Perfectly organized. He decided to organize by week, so on the x-axis, he wrote down each day of the week. The y-axis was numbered one through ten on a scale of how easy each person was to be around. Using different colours of pen, he made a small key and put a small coloured dot to assign each person to a certain number ranking.
Roman was firmly placed on zero, he had nearly made Logan want to throw himself out of a window. Literally. His ego was so enormous that it overshadowed every other thought Logan may have had about him. Patton was a seven. Though Logan did not particularly relate to his bubbly personality, he was very helpful. He did not seem the type to slack off either, though he would need further research to confirm that. Virgil was a ten, without any doubt. Calm, quiet, and helpful to him. If he could work with people exclusively like Virgil he may never have an issue again in his life. Janus was a five, as he had been helpful but he seemed much less altruistic in his help. Logan admired his ambition, it seemed like he had the show's best interests in mind. Then there’s Remus...He had Logan stumped. He was certainly wild, but he wasn’t horrid to be around. Logan puts him as a five, for now, because he feels like he needs much more time to figure out Remus.
When he got into the car today he felt much more prepared. He had food, an ally in Virgil, and his notebook. Maybe today would be better.
#sanders sides#sanders side fic#ts logan#ts virgil#ts roman#ts patton#ts remus#ts janus#ts deceit#eventual intrulogical#eventual roceit#intrulogical#roceit#one sided logicality#platonic analogical#platonic drlamp#this chapter was really fun to write#and i just finished chapter 4 which is a roman chapter so yay roman#Logan is cute but god someone help him with his anxiety#virgil is a good friend
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