#tbd @ some point probably
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when you're ill for the umpteenth time because your immune system is a silly goose, but you're trying to stay positive
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have y’all seen that tweet that’s like “i’m probably nonbinary but i have a job so idrc about that rn.” that is so heavily kakyoin coded
#/ tbd#i don’t mean to insinuate that nonbinary people over 40 don’t exist because ofc they do and i know some of them lol#but i will say that if kak had been born 10-20 years later he would definitely identify that way jdhshehdvdn and that’s just bc#growing up in the 70s-80s in japan there just was not a lot of information available about gender diversity and kak was already#going thru it realizing he is gay and like. while he was never ashamed of being gay it was def smth he didn’t like#openly talk about until he was in his 20s & just stopped giving a fuck#and once he learned about nonbinary people he was kind of misguided in thinking like . oh that’s only for people who#have dysphoria/don’t identify with their assigned gender at all#like he probably didn’t realize it’s actually a spectrum until he was already married and had a child and a stable career#and by that point he was just like idk whatever JTHSHSVSVSDWFWGQS#being nonbinary myself and not really realizing it until i was already in my mid twenties and also working in education#i’m kind of in the same boat in that like . i kind of just let people misgender me because it’s just too much work to frequently defend#my identity and also i’m like not super mad when people she/her or ‘miss’ me even though it does make me a lil uncomfortable lol#ultimately my portrayal of kak is a cis man and identifies as one but like . also he might be nonbinary actually . idk it’s hard to explain
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#I love this because the expression could convey so many things.#is he happy ? is he flirting ?#is he pissed ? who knows#is this Lila ?? honestly even I don’t know anymore#my art.#tbd#bc I always delete everything I guess in less than an hour#I promise I will compile all these at some point lmao#also it wholely depends on who you are. if you’re Tanya he’s flirting. if you’re Martha u should run#honestly I think he probably Doesn’t Like Martha anyway bc he doesn’t really like anyone in the friend group but maybe Tanya#Jennifer also seemed…nice to him but. idk
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you know sometimes i'm like 'i miss nicky' or 'i wonder what nicky is doing' or even 'i should contact nicky' and like...how do i cut that part of my brain out because i ended that whole thing for a reason and also she definitely hates me for doing so but like...i'm nosy
#also Nhy would probably revoke my wifi somehow#idk y'all i thought i Loved her at one point like wtaf#i do by Reneé really fucks me up and i hate that my brain connected the song to her#and then when we found out the song was about Alyah specifically i was like oh so it REALLY hits home#also needy by Ari and some others but idr them#y'all don't be fooled we were simply friends (for years) and never met in person but my dumb ass was like 'you like her'#tbd
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I don't know if I want to read, draw or study history, and if to read then what to read (I'm currently reading two things), and where, if on my bed (always good to lie down a bit) or in the terrace (there's the midday breeze which is heavenly)
#not doing a poll because I think I should make a schedule#also I have to go out to buy some stuff around the corner at a certain point#but the shop is probably closed at lunchtime#tbd
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This is personal (moreso than a lot of the silly things I post on here) but I feel like my mental health has been Not Great lately but I also just read the vent blog I have which I posted on primarily in my sophomore year of college and good god that guy was Not Okay. Like I'm obviously still not a paragon of mental health but I actually am doing way better now
#personal#tbd#probably#also like it probably was not great that i did read all the way back through it adhjkd#most of it is just cringey stuff and some of it is even positive stuff that i couldnt post in places where people could see#but some of it was a little distressing#not to the point where it would make me go back to that mindset but mostly just like holy shit dude that's an intense thing to say#anyways this is mostly just rambling bc im a little proud and surprised that im mental health is better than it was#like i still have a lot of work to do but i have progressed
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Submitted my final final paper of the semester
#ooc.#tbd.#im fucking tired my dudes#i dont actually remember how many pages i ended up writing for my summary notes#but between my two final papers i was at 46#im definitely in the ballpark of 60 pages written this week#luckily i do not have any more papers i need to write. just one that i need to revise by jan 31st that i wanna get done during the week#at some point. not tomorrow. i have done ENOUGH.#tomorrow i will write up the powerpoints from the last week of classes. as that needs to be done.#and will take hours bc it always takes hours BUT i get to jam to music the whole time and thats a WIN#so i probably wont do the r&r until Tuesday and hopefully soonish ill have a grade for the paper i just submitted#and i can write up an abstract for the survey im gonna do after that and submitt hat#and then ill be done with everything that needs to get done for the year and can enjoy my winter break
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thinking ab the scene where Dadan beats up Garp <3
#{ ooc } ✗ 「 WENP reporter 」#tbd.#[ hi hello slowly coming back online still on impromtu hiatus for a bit but lurking now#[ and still feeling Incredibly normal ab 1 (one) bastard peepaw#[ i have Many thoughts n feelings ab that scene though which will probably go into more detail on its own post at some point but just#[ shakes fist#[ garp feeling incredibly vindicated from it all bc he's so sick of being praised for helping murder his grandson#[ someone who Understands giving it to him telling him how he fucked up! biting shaking biting shaking#[ he needed that fr and he'll never forgive himself for it either even if he has no idea how to express it#[ he is soo#[ normal#[ thinking ab the 'there will be many things in life you won't want to do' part of garps speech when luffy was on the bridge to ace#[ during marineford as well#[ and the way sengoku could tell and knew and--#[ head in hands#[ too busy to write replies these days but will Try bc muse#[ has been strong for so long....#[ shakes him
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at this point i just want to live half feral and content with my books, music record collection and drawing pencils in the middle of an impossible to navigate wilderness with a giant fey looking borzoi pup i don't think this is too much to ask universe
#the corporate life is not for me i say as i lay on the ground and do my best to manifest into a swamp creature#txt. post#personal#tbd @ some point probably
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els trying to figure out how tf zev didn't easily kill her the day they met
#listen she knows when she's outclassed in a fight okay#and at that point she's still not used to killing sentient people#so she's also fighting with some hesitation#and tbh i think#she probably only gets the upperhand on him by cheating#gets knocked on her ass / throws a handful of dirt in his eyes#and even then she knocks him out bc she can't bring herself#to deal a killing blow#besides which she has Questions for him#lmao els hesitating to kill zev vs the party slaughtering the rest#ooc. ( off questing )#tbd.
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I hate that my computer is dying and people that keep SHUTTING IT WHEN I TELL THEM THE HINGE IS BROKEN should have to pay me money when they do it (because maybe then I’ll actually be able to save the goddamn money to get another one)
#the inquisitor speaks#tbd at some point#I lowkey dream of being able to have a nice laptop that isn't held together by literal duct tape and a prayer#every time someone closes it I have a panic attack that it's finally broken the connection and I won't have a functional laptop anymore#now it's at such a weird angle it's hard to see the screen if I try to lie down#which is a bummer because this is my only way to have date night on the move#I used to tell myself I'd open a Kofi or something and that would help me get a decent laptop but I'm not a popular enough person in fandom#I'd probably freak out and tell people they're wasting their money and give it back because I'd feel shame
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Tuesdays and Thursdays are gonna be A Lot and will basically take me out of commission with 4 hours of class starting at 8am, 2 miles of walking in the sun, heat in general. But the hope is that for rn I will spend all day writing for my class on Friday and try to read Thursday for the following week + otherwise be free!
#gonna probably take a nap at some point bc sun exhaustion fkdkssl#but for now my plan is for thursdays to primarily be for watching tv & reading the chapter i need to if possible#today I'm gonna try to finish lis bts i thjnk#I'm p 💤 and my controller is still charging but#it's only 12#ooc.#tbd.
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Okay. Im convinced.
#frogs singing in the rain // ooc#tbd#no context ooc#its blog related tho#youll see it later#probably#at some point#in the next week or two#perhaps
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me thinking about the headcanons i never rewrote or transferred over when i moved blogs...
#i'll make a banner some day#pls im so lazy and have so little time#i also need to redo morg's carrd#i have newer templates i've made that i'd rather use#but again im lazy skdjbcsd#ANYWAYS UM#omg i need to write up my odyssey verse too#it's not too complicated or TOO different from my main modern verse but#u know#i have my modern band verse too...#still havent decided if that's separate from my main modern or not tho#very conflicted#probably...not? similar premise but#the whole point of morg's main modern is that she's still similarly living in the shadows u know#rich anonymous philanthropist millionaire bc she's centuries old and has accumulated her own generational old wealth#over all the years she's been alive and investments and odd jobs blah blah blah#i have to rewrite my verse for it i think#REGARDLESS...#time of yapping over#i'll write some starters i owe#ooc.#tbd.
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one of these days I'm gonna be here regularly but apparently not today. I have to get my sleep schedule sorted if I want to do that.
#♡ooc#I accidentally passed out so#anyway I'm probably gonna head back to bed#I'll be around at some point#♡tbd
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*sees a post that hits to close to bastard demon brain* :/ *it's reblogged by a person I care about but am experiencing brain probles relating to* :/ *am completely exaughted and brainfried already because of the past week and not sleeping or eating right because active trauma response* :/
Insert this is fine dog here but edit it bursting into tears five seconds later.
#awled rens vents#active GV and Shroudites- this isn't about you#I'm just having brains about feeling ignored and undervalued again#mixed in with physical isolation#and the mounting stress blowout from last week#at some point very soon I will probably burst into tears at nothing and cry for an hour#then afterwards eat everything in the house#and feel a whole lot better#and probably end up with a dog in my face to drag me around the yard after#if your not of the two groups and think it might be about you- don't worry about it please#I'm blowing this out of preportion because my brain is screaming#(TBD Writing guys your also excluded but only one of you follow me and I trust your ability to ask if Somethings wrong before jumping to-#conclusions.)
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