#tb: the party's over

[augustusaugustus]

14.90 The Party's Over (part one)

DEAKIN: Any questions? SKASE: Where are the paracetamol?

😍

John doesn’t like being called a “little ginger short-arse”, largely because it’s true.

The real crime in this episode is John’s hair. I'm glad that terrible side part was only present in a few episodes because nope. Absolutely not.

This felt more like a two-parter than a one hour episode, due to the Rod & Tom storyline ending at the half-way point and the mugging story beginning. That part was a bit jarring, but the escalation of things between Eddie and Rosie was handled nicely—particularly Eddie’s manipulation of the relief.

Separating it into two posts because I took a LOT of caps. This one focuses on the Rosie & Eddie plot and the mugging storyline.

[autisticbillpotts]

I'm losing my mind why am I so obsessed with this guy

[hihomeghere]

Salt and Pepper | Arthur Morgan / Reader

Word count : 1.4k Summary : Arthur notices his hair is starting to gray. I saw a post on here about Arthur with salt and pepper hair and I couldn’t stop myself hehe. Warnings/Tags : talk about death, getting old, Arthur loves his wife, no tb, Arthur and reader own a house, mention of past gang members, cursing, lots of fluff, self deprecation on Arthur’s side, bullets, mention of weight gain (in a positive way)

“Godamn ugly bastard.” Arthur huffed, his gaze piercing as he looked into the mirror. He hadn’t meant to have himself a pity party this morning. In fact he was feeling quite fine this morning before looking in the small bathroom mirror. Waking up next to you always puts a spring in his step. Especially when he’s waking up in a real bed, underneath a soft quilt that you happened to sew in some free time. Mismatched patches and all, it was his favorite thing in the small home you two shared. Hell, you were becoming quite domestic ever since the house was completed.

But he wasn’t exactly expecting to find gray hair sprouting from his hairline. He wasn’t that old, was he?

“Jesus.” He sighed, inspecting further he realized it wasn’t one or two gray hairs, it was almost twenty. Hidden under his longer than normal locks after forgoing a haircut for the last couple weeks. He was surprised you hadn’t noticed them, especially with how much you loved to run your fingers through his hair. Although, he loved it just as much, maybe even more.

God, he needed to get rid of these before you saw them. He was sure you had some tweezers around here somewhere. He opened up your drawer, rifling around for your tweezers. Bingo. His hands gripped the small piece of metal, a triumphant smile on his face.

It was only once he looked back up into the mirror, determined to fix this issue before you woke up, that he noticed you padding into the bathroom. Rubbing sleep from your eyes, you wrapped your arms around his middle.

“Mornin’.” You hummed, laying your cheek against his bicep, smiling sweetly at him through the mirror.

“Mornin’.” He said, clearing his throat.

“What do you need those for?” You asked, eyeing the tweezers in his hand. Caught red handed, he tried coming up with some excuse.

“Nothin’ sweetheart.” He said, giving you his signature smile, kissing your forehead. He slipped the tweezers into his pocket for safe keeping, at least until he had a free moment without you around. After all those years on the run and he could come up with nothing, Hosea would have been so disappointed in his lack of an answer. He swore he could hear the old man chastising him now.

“For a former outlaw you sure are an awful liar.” You tutted, shaking your head, slipping your fingers into his pocket and pulling out the tweezers.

“Well it ain’t my fault,” He huffed playfully, “Could never get nothin’ past you anyway.” He said, rubbing the back of his neck. You removed your hands from around his waist, leaning back on the sink as you looked up at him.

“Spill.” You said raising an eyebrow, your arms crossed over your chest.

Knowing he’d been caught, Arthur hung his head, a low sigh leaving his lips.

“It’s just-“ He cursed, turning to look away from you, “Well I’m goin’ gray.” He admitted, not meeting your eyes.

“And?” You asked in such a nonchalant manner.

“And?” He asked looking up at you, his brows furrowed.

“So you have some gray hairs.” You said with a shrug, “You’re acting like the damn world is ending.” You chuckled softly, a smile tugging on your lips.

“Well-“ Arthur sighed, pursing his lips, he didn’t want to be vain but damn it, it did feel like the world was ending.

“Honey.” You said softly, reaching up to cup his cheek. “Ain’t nothing wrong with some gray hairs.” You said, shaking your head, looking so goddamn patient as always. What he did in a past life to deserve you he would never know, he definitely didn’t deserve you in this one. You smiled, running your thumb over his couple day old stubble. He couldn’t help but sigh softly, leaning into your touch.

“Just makes me feel old ‘s all.” He shrugged, closing his eyes.

“Arthur.” You said softly, he opened his eyes. His bright azure pools looking into yours. “Getting old means we’re still alive.” You said pointedly, not missing the way your fingers trailed lightly down his chest.

He sighed softly, anyone who said he was the most like Hosea had obviously never had a one on one conversation with you. You had shared the same dry wit along with being just as wise as the old man. Sometimes he wondered if the two of you were more closely related than just being adopted by him as a kid.

As your hand settled over his heart, he couldn’t help but remember a time when you didn’t have this place. When his next breath had been an undeserved blessing. When you and Charles had pulled his broken body off that godforsaken mountain. You were right, he should be grateful for these gray hairs and new lines on his face. Should be grateful that he made it this far out west with you, where the air was dryer and slowly his lungs didn’t hurt as bad with each breath.

If anything he should be grateful that you’re here, here in this house. The house that he built specifically for you. That you’re not buried six feet under like most of the fellow gang members. That you didn’t catch a bullet like Lenny or Sean, how he wished they could have had the chance to grown old. Even as mouthy as Sean was, the poor bastard didn’t deserve that. Lenny was just a boy, foolish enough to be sucked in by Dutch’s silver tongue. He shook his head trying to clear any thoughts of the past.

God, along with the fact that somehow both of you still happen to be standing, the fact that you chose to stand by him after everything you went through makes his head swim. You could have left him at any point, hell he had begged you to leave after his death sentence. And yet, here you were.

“Guess you’re right.” He said, a small smile tugging on his lips.

“Course I am.” You teased, a smile spreading across your face. You leaned forward, brushing your nose against his. He accepted your silent invitation, pressing his lips against yours. So soft and warm and inviting. He could feel you smile against his lips. That small smile warmed him from the inside out, nearly making his toes curl.

Jesus, he was lucky. More than lucky, he still couldn’t figure out how he had tricked you into marrying him. He wanted to be the best version of himself for you, he had made a promise to try every day to be a better man for you. You shouldn’t be tied down to a miserable old fool like himself.

As if you could read his mind, which he often suspected you could, your soft voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

“Besides,” You began as you pulled away, “I like the salt and pepper look.” Arthur scoffed, shaking his head.

“Really?” He asked, raising a brow.

“Really.” You nodded, running your hand through his hair. “Think you get more handsome every day.” If anyone was getting prettier every day it was you. Your hair was longer, cascading down your shoulders in waves. No longer tied up in a tight braid or bun. You looked relaxed, at peace. You became softer once you both settled into your new lifestyle. Not just emotionally, although you still had that fire which had first drawn him towards you, like a moth to a flame. You were physically softer, your harsh edges smoothing out as you started to eat and sleep better. Your curves became more prominent, and he certainly didn’t mind having more to hold onto late at night.

Maybe you truly did feel the same about him. He had never known you to lie. A blush settled on his cheeks at the thought. He shook his head, a small chuckle rumbling through his chest.

“Yeah, alright darlin’.” He says taking your face in his hands, kissing you again before you had the chance to embarrass him further.

Maybe getting old wasn’t so bad if you had someone to grow old with.

[another-goblin]

I found a great way to measure and compare characters' strength in the game. Forget stars, rates, OPs, and metas. I present you The Child-Beater Scale, where a character's strength is measured in Yanqings (YQ):

Feixiao: she was able to easily overcome both Yanqing and Yunli (who are about equal in power), so her strength is definitely over 2 YQ;

Jingliu: easily defeated Yanqing. Over 1 YQ;

Trailblazer: we fought Yanqing and won, so our power is over 1 YQ;

Jing Yuan: used to be able to defeat Yanqing while sparring. Currently unknown. A bit more than 1 YQ, I'd say;

Yunli: they seemed to fight on equal terms, so her power is about 1 YQ;

Blabe and IL: were barely able to defeat Yanqing together. So each of them is slightly more powerful than half a YQ;

Boothill: avoided fighting Yanqing, expecting to lose. Below 1 YQ;

Luka: lost to Yanqing. Below 1 YQ.

Yunli and Luka are about the same age as Yanqing (probably children too), so I'd hesitate to put them on The Child-Beater List Scale. We can measure some characters' strength in Lukas (Lk) though! (The exact numerical relation between YQ and Lk is unknown. To clarify this, we'll need Blade or IL to fight Luka. For science.)

Boothill: easily defeated Luka. Over 1 Lk;

Gepard: over 1 Lk;

Argenti and Topaz: technically they lost, but they were holding back, so I'll give them the benefit of the doubt and say over 1 Lk;

Svarog: lost to Luka during Luminary Wardance. Below 1 Lk.

Additional notes:

March considers Yanqing a teacher, so probably <1 YQ;

Dan Heng in his human disguise lost to Blade (who is about 0.5 YQ), but he used to kill him before, so he's about 0.5 YQ too;

Welt was able to easily subdue the Trailblazer when they were losing control back on Herta's startion in the beginning. So I'd say he's stronger than TB (who's >1 YQ), therefore >1 YQ too at least;

Aventurine was definitely stronger than the party of TB, Welt, Himeko (power unknown), and March, so >2 YQ at least;

He was then defeated by Acheron; she's at least >2 YQ too.

[thecapricunt1616]

Chicory (c.b. one-shot)

Snippet (more BTC): He tugged you by your hand back to the bedroom, kissing you deeply tugging you close by your hips and his hands traveled down your back, over your ass, squeezing and you moaned a bit, cupping his jaw and rubbing your thumb gently over the stubble that had grown since he shaved in the shower yesterday morning. He hummed softly, carefully sitting on the mattress and leading you to straddle his hips, playing gently with the hem of your panties between his fingers. 

♡ Chapter Inspo: Chicory is perfect for love spells, & sex magick, it is also a natural aphrodisiac - this being because it is a great source of the androgen hormone androstenedione. ♡ Summary: You wake up to find Carmy's dirty little book he's been hiding from you, and convince him you want to try some things out from it, too. ♡ W/C: 3.5K+ ♡ Posted Date: 05/28/2024 ♡ A/N: Hellooooo!!! Happy day 3/7 of the Capri 200 Follower Celebration Extravaganza!!! You can find said extravaganza ♡ Here ♡ this celebration will be going until next Sunday (06/02/24)! We're getting todays party started early because I am physically incapable of sleep today I guess!! Lol anywhore - This O/S is based on ♡ This ♡ request, from my Darling Dirty Olive Martini otherwise known as the goddess herself @carmenberzattosgf ! Give her a follow NEOWW!!! I hope you love my dear Martini baby! Your other request is still in the works xoxoxo ♡ Warnings for BTC: Smutty smut smut, embarrassed Carmy, unprotected sex, AFAB!Fem!Reader, Reader not described pic's are purely for vibes only, swearing, and typical TB trigger warnings

♡ 𝐌𝐲 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 ♡

➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞-𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐞 ♡ ➵ 𝘊𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 / 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵 ♡ ➵ 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 ♡

You and Carmy had been dating for about 2 months, and it was an extraordinary two months. While he wasn’t the best at communication, he tried, and he tried very hard. He was an amazing learner, and would pick up what you put down the second he realized he made a mistake - do his best to fix it, and not make the same mistake again. In regards to the bedroom, your pleasure came first, it was like that from the beginning. It wasn’t something either of you discussed, it was more that Carmy was the one who did the leading most the time, and you followed & told him what did and didn’t feel good. 

Most of the time, he was dead set on solely your pleasure. You could remember the amount of times you’d had penetrative sex with him, as much as you hated that you kept track, it was just in your nature to do so. He hadn’t let you go down on him yet,saying that he was ‘all good by eating you out’. On top of your lack of experience together - he also liked to have the lights off most of the time. You were much more sex forward than he was, so you just chalked it up to being shy, and didn’t think anything of it.

That was until he was sleeping one night next to you, falling asleep after eating you out for a straight 2 hours, you couldn't even remember the exact number of times he made you cum. You also weren’t sure how his jaw didn’t lock up. 

The reason you had woken up at such an hour, was because your hand brushed something hard and papery under his pillow when you stuck your hand under it in search of his to hold. You carefully pulled the foreign book out, and in the dim moonlight that peeked through his navy blue blackout curtains, you read ‘BDSM Kinktionary - The ultimate guide’ and oh - had that thing been read. The spine had been very broken in, it was clear this specific book of his was well loved. 

You flick through it, to see that there were multiple pages that had been dog-eared for later use. You got up quietly as to not disturb him, padding out to the kitchen where he kept the light under his microwave on. Leaning over the counter and flicking through the pages, finding the first one that had been dogeared and reading it. 

Bondage - The restraint of a person, either by physical item (cuffs, rope, etc.) or instruction (known as mental bondage). Restraint can be full-body (vacuum beds, suspension) or involve a single body part such as the eyes (blindfold), mouth (ball gag), wrists or even thumbs. Bondage may include furniture like sex swings and devices like handcuffs. 

It had various photos of different things mentioned and you raised your brows. “Carmy have you been holding out on me?” you whispered to yourself, a small smile on your face as you flicked to the next page that had been marked by a fold and read ;

Cockwarming / Soaking - Where one person puts their cock into their partner’s mouth, ass, or vagina (if they have one), and leaves it there for a set amount of time to, well, ‘keep warm’. Some people use it as a punishment, some people just like the feeling of it, some use it as a more intimate & sexual form of spooning/cuddling, and some use it as a method of trying to conceive after a creampie (see pg. 32).

You see a little star next to the definition made with red ink likely from a pen, and the word ‘creampie’ was underlined as well. Your mouth dropping slightly - this is likely what he wants to try. When you and Carmy did have sex, he would usually cum on your stomach, long thick white ropes of seed painting all the way up to your ribs, dragging his fingers through it before putting it to your lips to which you gratefully accepted and licked them clean. You tightened your thighs a bit at the thought. 

The bedroom door popped open quietly “Babe?” Carmy said, voice gravelly and deep with sleep. You jump in surprise, nearly hitting your head on the side of the microwave as you were bent over trying to read without your glasses in such dim light. “Wha’s up-” he asked padding over. He saw the cover on the counter behind you, eyes widening and eyes flicking back to you. His cheeks go pink “Uhh.. how- how did you - shit - fuck - m-m’sorry babe it was- I-” he ran a nervous hand through his hair taking a big nervous breath.

“Cockwarming?” you said and he rubbed over his mouth and chin nervously 

“It’s - i-it’s- y’don’t have t’do any a’that babe it was just a um-”

“A fantasy?” you cut him off. He bit his bottom lip roughly, swallowing thickly. His whole face and neck were red with embarrassment, he looked honestly like he could cry. Like a teen who’s porno-mags had been discovered. “I think it sounds…really hot” you grabbed the book off the counter. “I know you don’t really like getting head so-”

“S’not that I don’t like it. I just…I haven’t done it alot an’I don’t wanna embarrass myself n’stuff.” he rubbed his arm nervously and you stepped a bit closer, gently resting your hand on his chest right over his heart. You could feel it thumping against your palm like a monarch trapped in a plastic cup. 

“You can’t embarrass yourself with me Carmy, we talked about it. The way our bodies react to things- how fast they react, it’s not something we can choose. I’d never judge you, is that why you didn’t wanna tell me the stuff you want to try? Cause you thought I’d think it was embarrassing?” you asked him softly.

He looked at the floor, shutting his eyes and sighing “yes” he admitted quietly, “how much did you see?” he asked nervously

“Enough, I didn’t even know that was like a thing? But it sounds hot- can we try? I mean..we dont have to- but I could go right now, if you want to” you asked. He held his hand on yours, gently squeezing it. 

“I’ve never done it-”

“So we can learn together then, right? Things are most fun that way, anyways. I love doing new things with you, Carmy. It makes me feel close to you” you admitted. 

He pulled you into a hug, nuzzling his face in your neck and holding you close. “Thank you” he muttered into your skin, the tip of his nose chilly since you two had fallen asleep with the window open last night.

“F’what baby?” you asked, rubbing over his back, your finger pads gently brushing over the little moles adorning his skin like tiny constellations you traced over in early mornings just after his alarm went off and he was still rousing for the day.

“Bein’ you” he said and kissed the fleshy bit where your shoulder met your neck and a smile graced your lips, gently petting his hair “I wanna try if you wanna try…I mean really wanna try, not just ‘cause I wanna do it, cause you actually want to” he said. 

You pulled away, tilting his head to look at you “I want to.” you said, your voice honeyed with honesty and desire. 

He tugged you by your hand back to the bedroom, kissing you deeply tugging you close by your hips and his hands traveled down your back, over your ass, squeezing and you moaned a bit, cupping his jaw and rubbing your thumb gently over the stubble that had grown since he shaved in the shower yesterday morning. He hummed softly, carefully sitting on the mattress and leading you to straddle his hips, playing gently with the hem of your panties between his fingers. 

You opened your mouth for him, gently sucking on his tongue when he slipped it in your mouth since you know how much you both liked it and he moaned softly, gripping your ass tighter and pulling at the skin. You smirked into the kiss, pulling off after a few moments with a pop 

“Want y’to touch me” you said sweetly, gently kissing the corner of his slightly parted lips, his breath coming out in soft warm pants against your cheek. 

“Mm” he hummed softly reaching one of his hands under you, gently rubbing at your clit “y’sore?” he asked softly “I wasn’t too rough earlier was I?” he questioned as you kissed down his jaw, and over the hickeys, you’d left a few days ago on his neck. He wasn’t too stressed about them because he would just tell anyone at work to fuck off and there wasn’t going to be another friends and family night for a few weeks. 

“No love, m’okay, that was so nice earlier. Made me feel sooo good, Are you ok?” you gently stroke his jaw with your hand and he smiles a bit 

“Yes babe, m’fine. Feel good?” he asked and rubbed a bit firmer, in response your hips jerked a bit in his hands and a little breathy oh escaped your throat

“Yes jus’ like that babe feels so good, I love your pretty strong hands” you lovingly kiss his temple, resting your forehead on his “I fuckin’ love it when you touch me like that, bear” you said and his cock twitches in his boxers beneath you, already hard in briefs. It never took him much, but especially when you used his name. 

That name, his nickname. The name only the closest people in his life called him, the name that coming from you - made him feel confident, strong, dominant. “Can’t fuckin’ focus when y’bein so sweet baby c’mere” he pulls his lips to yours again, pushing your panties to the side, breaking the kiss of course to ask “thas’ok right?” carefully rubbing his fingers through your slick 

“Mmhmm, Course sweet boy - Feel how wet I am? All f’you baby. Y’so sexy, and so brave for telling me what you want from me, hmm? My brave Bear” you gently play with his curls, combing through them with your fingers. He kissed you again, cock grinding up against your pelvis unintentionally. You knew how much praise turned him on, he yearned for it. He carefully pulled back your hood, brushing the rough pad his middle finger over the sensitive bud. 

You whine into his mouth, hips jerking at the sudden, intense bolt of pleasure and in retaliation you took his bottom lip between your teeth and pull gently. Your eyes then fluttered open to see his hooded blue eyes darkened with need, long eyelashes fluttering his cheeks when he blinked. 

You sucked his lip between yours, sucking gently on it as he carefully trailed his hand down your slick folds, spreading your nether lips with his fingers a sticky click being heard when that same torturous middle finger that was teasing your innocent clit a few moments prior, breached your dripping entrance. Your mouth falls open, letting his lip snap back into place and a moan tumbles from your own lips. 

“Yes- fuck yes baby” you sat back a bit to take another knuckle in and he buried his finger to the palm, curling it and uncurling it around your gummy walls, a lewd wet schlick noise coming from your pussy as he did so 

“Sound so pretty” he breathed arching his finger a bit deeper and brushing against that lovely spongey little spot that made your clit pulse and fire grow in the pit of your belly. “Want another princess?” He asked, and unable to speak, you nodded, jaw dropped. You grind down onto his hand once he added his ring finger, rolling your hips so you were essentially riding his hand as he continued rolling his fingers and pressing on that spot. 

You were feeling that heat shooting to your core, your juices leaking down his palm, and wrist, droplets racing down his veiny forearm to nestle in the crook of his elbow. “Oh- oh-fffffuuuck” you whined out, rolling your hips quicker as you chased your high. “Mm so sweet - y’so sweet Carmy- letting me use your hand like this, thank you” you give him a hot, wet kiss, lingering for a moment. 

“Lemme help you mm?” He pushed your back to lay over him fully, cheek pressed to his chest “I like takin’ care’a’my girl” he said and quickly matched your pace with his fingers, continuing to curl them into that spot with every thrust in to his palm. He groaned softly at the short high pitched little whimpers you made as you went slack over his chest, your hips twitching as your walls fluttered wildly around his fingers, sucking them back in each time he pulled out. 

“Feels so good- sososo good” you rambled, nearly drooling on his chest you were so far away in your orgasm. 

“Y’always do so good princess, always so good, can y’give me one more? Ye’? Then you can fall asleep on m’cock mm? You’d like that I bet, you always whine when I pull outta you” he said hotly in your ear, voice thick with lust and pure need. This was the game you two played, he would fuck you absolutely dumb, so that he got comfortable enough to talk dirty thinking you wouldn’t remember what he said or that you were too caught up in your own nearly atomic orgasms he was determined to lure out of you to be able to hear him properly. 

“Need it- need it- want you-“ you choke on your words, hips arching into his touch as he continued his assault on your gspot, this time adding his forefinger. “There- there right fuckin there I’m- I’m gonna make a mess shit fuck-“ you sob out, thighs nearly shaking with pleasure. “Carmy Carmy- Carmy- oh!” His name fell from your lips like an invocation. 

“Thas it pretty girl. Fuck- so fuckin hot- make a fuckin mess all over me angel.” He massaged that spot with his fingers, the heel of his palm giving delicious friction to your clit that was causing your brain and your mouth to disconnect, the string of lewd swears and filthy moans going unheard by you as you were pretty sure your vision went white behind your shut lids and your legs went fully numb for a moment. 

You came back a few minutes later to him whispering praise into your hairline, littering little kisses over it and gently brushing your wet sweaty hair from your forehead. “So so good baby. Always so good f’me huh? Y’gonna let me take care’a’you now?” 

You picked your cheek up from his chest, your skin sticking to his and pulling away like scotch tape, slow since you weren’t in a rush to move being so exhausted and very comfortable where you were. “Hey you, gonna lemme clean you up so we can try this thing out?” He carefully brushed your baby hairs from your face that were wild and curly with sweat from the encounter. 

In response you hum softly, in agreement, throat feeling dry as you sat up to let him move. He carefully reached over you, opening his night drawer and grabbing the feminine wipes he kept in there for you, as well as grabbing your water bottle from the tabletop.

He holds the straw to your lips “big sip f’me, ye’?” He cradled the back of your head gently. You leaned in, taking the sip he requested, and as soon as the icy water he assured your cup stayed filled with passed your lips one sip turned in to a few big gulps, eyes shutting in bliss. “Goood girl.” He praised gently. Hearing the bubbles at the bottom a few moments later, meaning you’d hit ice and it was empty so you pulled away, your tongue darting out to lick your dry lips

“Thanks” you said softly and pecked his shoulder with your chilly ice water lips gently. 

“You go do what you gotta do, I’m gonna fill this up mm?” He kissed your head and got up, heading to the kitchen. You went to the restroom, making sure to wash your hands which you know he did as well since you heard the kitchen sink while you were sitting on the toilet rubbing your tired face. 

By the time you got back, he was already switching out the fitted sheet for a clean dry one, in clean boxers - his problem still evident, standing tall and tugging at the fitted fabric. “Carm” you said softly and he looked up at you 

“Hey baby- y‘waters there got you a granola bar if you want it too. Wasn’t sure if y’just wanted to go to sleep but i'd love if you had a bite or two- 

” he goes on. The only time you had a hard time getting him to stop talking was when he felt as if you needed taking care of, turning into the male version of his sister, as you’d quickly found out how she treated him the few times you’d met her. 

“Carmy” you said again, stopping his rambling. “What about the book- the cockwarming thing? Did you…you don’t wanna do that with me anymore?” You slipped out of your now wet panties and flicked them into the laundry basket. 

“Oh- oh-“ he watched them fly and land on your shared pile of dirty clothes from the week of you sleeping over. “Uh- no- I-I mean yes yes I wanna do it with you, I can um…let me get a condom just in case I like- accidentally-“ you stopped him once more

“If you came inside me on accident I think that would be really hot.” 

He stopped digging through the drawer and looked over at you, cheeks flush. “Did you…take your thing?” He asked, like it was a secret. You laughed a bit at his boyish awkwardness regarding woman’s products. 

“I don’t take a thing the thing meaning my implant is in my arm. I’m never at risk with it for pregnancy, well - shouldn’t be - but it’s like a 98% thing…I also am pretty irregular? So I dunno” you shrugged a bit “but irregular means I probably won’t be pregnant, especially on birth control, so.” You explained. 

“Okay- um- yeah. Yeah.” He said, pulsepoint visible in his neck from how hard his heart was pumping in anticipation for what was to come next. “So- alright. You- you wanna be on top? I- I don’t wanna like..crush you” he said and you nod excitedly 

“I love sleeping on you! I’m gonna fall asleep, is that ok?” You asked as he slipped his boxers off, cock kissing his naval in greeting as it springs up from its previous restraints. The tip was so pretty and cherry pink, glistening with precum at the tip. Every time you saw it like this you just wanted to fall to your knees and take as much of the beautiful thick length down your throat as you could - but that was a line to still not be crossed by you two. 

“Ye’ s’fine baby. As long as y’re ok w’me wakin’ up hard as fuck I’m probably gonna dream about fuckin you feelin you like that all night” he admits, laying in the middle since you were sleeping together and getting comfortable for you. You crawled on the bed and took his shirt that you’d been wearing fully off so you could be chest to chest, and drape over him like earlier. 

This time, he spread you out with his hands, one on each cheek and guided your hips so his tip was nestled snugly against your entrance. “I’m okay as long as you’re okay” you said truthfully and sunk back on his throbbing cock. He grunted a bit, biting his lip and shutting his eyes for a moment. You knew he did that now when he didn’t want to cum too quickly, just from being with him a few times, you picked up on stuff like that just like he did. 

“Y’so fuckin tight” he breathed once he was able to relax again, wrapping his strong arms around your back and you thought he was going to push you down, seat you fully on his cock - but, no he…he’s hugging you. He’s continuing to let you sink down as slow as you want. When you finally were seated to the hilt, he places a chaste kiss to your jaw. “Thank you.” He nuzzled his nose into your neck, lashes kissing and tickling your cheek as his eyes flutter shut. 

“Thank you Bear. Always treat me so nice” you continued gently playing with his curls as his hands gently rubbed over your upper back, tracing the curvature of your shoulders with his fingers. 

“Oh I’d say it’s the other way around princess, you always make sure I get what I want - y’too good” 

To that, you just smiled, falling asleep a tiny smirk on your face - knowing it was the other way around, you knew he’d never agree. 

But you both wouldn’t have it any other way.

[greenaswildfire]

I get the feeling they decided to nerf Alicent and Helaena on purpose, so they could taunt part of the audience who likes the "more womanly" type of character.

Something like "oh, are you tired of girlboss characters like Rhaenyra? there you have it, your fragile woman kind of character you like so much!" and then turned them into two bland pacifists instead of soft power players they were in F&B.

There is a quote I see frequently on social media but have no idea who said it:

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you’re capable of great violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful, you’re harmless. Important difference.

Alicent and Helaena were peaceful in F&B. Helaena transitions to harmless after B&C, but she had a reason for it.

In HotD? Both are turned to harmless women. Helaena refuses to fight because prophecy, refuses to burn innocents by sacrificing her life and her Jaehaera's, c'mon girl, you're also innocent in all this! It's absolutely stupid to imagine that Rhaenyra would let them live, mainly because by Rhaenyra's precedent as queen, any House could back Helaena and Jaehaera's claim the moment Rhaenyra refused to bend to said House whims.

She would never let them live, she could never. And even if Rhaenyra refuses to do anything, certainly Daemon would in her stead. He's kinslaying on behalf of the queen who also happens to be his wife so he gets a pass, right? RIGHT?

I get the feeling they wanted to trap us in this "muahauha see? see? You say you hate girbosses but look at you now, you want show!Helaena, a Sansa-like character to act like a girlboss, hypocrites! Muahau we got you, traitorous women who dare to defend the patriarchy by liking non-girlboss characters!" situation.

But they forget one important thing: Alicent was bold and politically savy in S1, she was butchered because of their rhaenicent thirst and I don't doubt they build up S3 around the mandatory rhaenicent scene (this time it will be a s3x scene in the cell, after Rhaenyra imprisons Alicent for her "treason" since Aegon is no longer in KL). Alicent was a strong female character in her own right, until she wasn't.

And Helaena is just a background character tbh, writers knew they couldn't make her disband to TB side so they made her a Bran 2.0 who poses no threat to TB, but doesn't help TG either. If any female character can't be part of TB, they'll turn her into a third party so they won't pose a threat to "rightful kween". The only time she was treated as equal was by Aemond when he asks her to help protect the family and she refuses.

C'mon, she's neurodivergent but she's clearly capable of thinking that if she refuses to fight, everybody will die way quicker than if she accepts to. She's not stupid (I mean, at least until plot demands it, so her inaction-caused-by-her-visions can benefit cult leader kween's path to apocaliptic prophecy). She could clearly say something like "I will. but I won't fight because you asked me to, I'll fight for my daughter's life, I'll fight for mine." and I'm sure that Aemond would be hurt anyway, but would hide it because he's also determined to protect her.

She wants to live, so does he, and he'll somehow make up for Jaehaerys death by protecting Helaena. Helaena instead of doing the same like the other dreamers (choosing humanity's salvation over anything else) subverts expectations and says f u prophecy, and decides to fight against the prophecy instead of fulfilling it, so she and her daughter can have a chance to live. It would be such a contrast to cult leader, they make parallels in hotd all the time, why couldn't they do the same here with Helaena's plot?

Have you ever played Umineko no Naku koro ni? One of the most important aspects of the game imo it's exactly this "fight against your destiny" thing. How much do you value your life and others's? What are you willing to sacrifice for a slim chance to live and see them again? When your destiny is the same in most universes, should you give up and die instead of keep looking for one where your destiny is different? They could have done the same with Helaena here. Cole for example, he knows that probably he won't make it out alive of this war and yet he fights! Why can't a woman do the same? Fighting against destiny is something that only men do? Or are you telling me that Cole is stupid for not giving up, for relying on this slim hope he has of seeing Alicent again, of living with her and the remaining targtower children after the war?

But again, it's a web weaved by the writers, we can't ask Helaena to fight because she isn't girlboss in hotd. I should despise Alicent, I should despise Helaena, but I won't. If I do, it will only confirm the approach they've taken with these characters and I refuse to be caught on these showrunners's web.

[askzloyxp]

So uhh Are you gonna now live on the Dead Game channel only? You're not angry/evil no more? no more un-dead, just dead? Or is it a test channel with extra steps? What's your plan here?

Absolutely navigating by vibes, tbh.

If Dead Game continues to grow and perform the way it currently is? We keep posting Dead Game videos until the party is over.

If I get a burst of Wanting To Play Minecraft and am dragged back to TB, I will just do more of that on the Zloy channel.

Hermitcraft Recap continues regardless until it kills me or I kill it. We are forever doomed to poison each other.

Everything is a test channel. Nothing is set in stone. But let them give me an inch, and watch me bite off the mile. I will gnaw a home for myself in the fatty flesh of this world that wanted nothing to do with me.

..I may have forgotten where I was going with this bit.

[curtisberzattos]

do u have any hc about darry in his letterman jacket and madras shirt around his family/ the gang. i feel like he wouldn't be that bothered bc it's how he wants tb, but everyone else tries to make fun of him for it which just pushes his closer to paul and the socs

SO. i don't think they'd make fun of the letterman jacket because you actually have to Pay for those and do something that makes you eligible for it, which i think they would all respect enough. it's also something he'd wear daily in highschool and maybe they'd tease him a little initially (bc it's shiny and new) but eventually it becomes such a normal part of his wardrobe that they don't even really notice it.

the madras shirt tho– that's fair game for bullying him, in theory. however i don't imagine him wearing that around them much. in my mind it's something he'd wear to parties or other social events that the greasers wouldn't be at, so it's not daily wear. soda would probably tease him for it but he's a little brother, he'll tease darry anytime he tries to look nice, shirt or not. his parents may be silently iffy about the fact that he's being gifted nice things that they can't afford to buy for him, but i don't think anyone else would really give him much grief over it (at least not to his face or around any of the curtis', given how defensive soda is when they accuse darry of "going soc"). and besides, at this point he's like 18 and a major jock so if a 15 year old dally or steve tried making fun of him he'd just Push Them Down.

[horizon-verizon]

It’s hilarious to me that Aemond kicked Alicent out of the council and literally told her to go back to the kitchen right after that tiktok went viral that called Aemond of all people a feminist.

Compare with Jace saying in the same episode, “my ruler is my mother, and I do not wish it otherwise”.

Jace is EVERYTHING Alicent wished Aegon and Aemond was. A better son, a better politician, would’ve been a better husband to Helaena, a young man who has no problem leading the war council with his wife-to-be and defending her against Ser Alfred. I love that HOTD is completely destroying the whole “momma’s boy/mommy’s favorite war criminal” delusion that Aemond’s stans created.

“Aemond’s the most interesting one on this show” and he’s just every reactionary mass shooter using “bullying” in high school as an excuse for their atrocities (when, in reality, they were just nihilistic psychopaths). Nothing about Aemond is unique or disruptive. Misogyny is painfully boring actually, it’s been around for centuries. People just can’t accept interesting morally sound characters when they see one.

I wonder how that person who made that Jace would not be a feminist (as if any of the green boys in the show would?!) is feeling right about now? They'd probably say that Aemond kicking Alicent out is not sexist but he was just mad at her. Sure Fabian 2.0 🙄.

Now, Aemond does provide some funny moments here and there since "he undermined" Aegon with high Valyrian, but for me the stand out is more Aegon on the green side. I did like Aemond asserting against Jason Lannister's demands, that is very book!Aemond. It's like these two green boys are taking turns being their book selves, which is ironic bc people will claim that they are more interesting that their bk counterparts...baby, that's bc they are finally realized as what their bk counterparts would do!

Also, the greens have such stark and seemingly unique characters because the writes simply didn't develop the blacks very well for balance. They are all more or less pretty static, their motivations regressed or having stayed the same since S1.

So we perhaps need to separate "interesting"/"unique" and "solid characterization" from "morally bankrupt". Both tb and tg. TG tends to either explain how the greens are actually morally neutral or good or justified in some actions AND tries to make as if being "good" automatically boring, but TB seems to sometimes forget that we don't need characters to be morally neutral/ambiguous or good for them to be "interesting"--ironic bc Daemon is morally ambiguous leaning bad but is very interesting to many in TB and to locals...pre-Harrenhal arc. People can say Aemond & Aegon are interesting in the show, bc they do present more to think over...while Rhaenyra's writing is repetitive and verging on pathetic and nonsensical, esp when she slaps the Celtigar instead of Alfred Broome and keeps talking about how helpless she feels even after that. Jace, despite his deeds at the Frey's and the Wall, was also stripped of his Manderly and Jeyne Arryn stories. even with Cregan, they aren't friends and there is no Pact of Ice and Fire. We didn't even get Cregan's backstory in appropriate flashbacks that would have lended Rhaenyra/Jace's support base with a certain confidence in devotion and character! Baela somehow doesn't burn the greens she comes into close contact with...It's all just too underwhelming for the sake of "neutraility". And I don't have to say anything for Daemon, that I already talked about.

Example of "good & interesting": Dany is unequivocally a good person & a good ethical actor with good ethical motivations, but she's anything but boring.

@all-about-the-tea-parties brings up other nonvillains with nuanced and "fascinating" arcs down in the comments below!

[fatum679]

Hi. I have a few questions and would like to hear your opinion.

What do you think of Aemond's actions at Rook's Rest? Do you see it as him intentionally wanting to get rid of Aegon or him simply not caring and primarily aiming at Meleys and Rhaenys, while also seeing Aegon as a collateral victim ? He sure gets a lot of hate for it now, especially from green fandom. Do you think he can be justified at all? Personally, I'm not happy with how the show depicted Aegon/Aemond dynamic cause it could have been very interesting and complex, but the way they resolved it in the show did seriously disappoint me, ngl.

Also, do you think that Helaena will know what happened? We know that Hel and Aemond share a scene in ep 5 in the throne room and I was wondering what her reaction could be (anger, indiferrence, sadness, another vague prophecy... )? I'm curios to see how are they going to depict their dynamic since it will be the first time they actually interact (I still can't believe that the showrunners missed the opportunity when Jaehaerys was killed).

Thanks in advance for your answers!

Hello!

I'll be clear, I don't like Aegon and I have no problem with Aegon and Aemond not having a loving brotherly relationship. Aegon is a terrible big brother, he taunted and bullied Aemond his whole life and wouldn't stop. "He's a twat." Aegon took the 13-year-old child for his birthday to a brothel. Aemond did not want this, he was brought there by force.

In season two he treated Aemond like his own weapon "My brother, at least, knows his plase. He's as loyal as a hound. I can set him ans his dragon on my foes at will".

I see that Aemond wants revenge and he wants justice.

But I am absolutely against what happened in Rook's Rest. I see that this was specifically written by the writers to take the blame off Rhaenys. Rhaenys killed a large number of people at the coronation and tg stans used this argument against tb stans. So I believe this was done intentionally. Rhaenys' crime was given to Aemond. We are sold the idea that there is a "good side" and a "bad side", a "Mary Sue" side and a "villainous villain" side.

That is why in episode 5 the residents of the capital are not happy about the victory over the Meleys. But why? This dragon has killed many innocents, it has left many children without parents and it has crippled many. This is propaganda. They are promoting to us that TB is concerned about people, but this is not true.

Rhaenys's crime was deliberately given to Aemond. Aegon was deliberately made stupider. I don’t believe that when he saw Meleys he didn’t think that “This dragon is bigger than mine, maybe it’s not worth attacking directly.” This battle was meant to unite Aegon and Aemond. This does not mean that they will respect and love each other, but for the same purpose they had to unite. “You may cuff him about as you wish at home, but in the world, we must defend our own”.

I was also expecting more fire in this battle.

I see Helaena's reaction as Aemond becoming something he never was. It's sadness I see. Helaena is the voice of conscience for Aemond.

Aemond really supported Aegon "I only wish to serve my king and my house" "We can't risk losing you" But AEGON DIDN'T CHANGE "My brother, at least, knows his plase. He's as loyal as a hound. I can set him ans his dragon on my foes at will" "What a fine, sweet thing, did you fuck her like a hound?" I doubt you would support a person who puts you down.

I understand Aemond's "betrayal", but it shouldn't have been the way it was portrayed on the show. Aemond would not deprive his party of a dragon. Perhaps we will be told more in other episodes.

I'll just describe Aemond with this quote, but I think he had a lot of bad days in his life: «All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. That's how far the world is from where I am. Just one bad day»

Unfortunately, in episode 5 we were only given crumbs, but in episodes 6-8 there should be more Helaemond scenes and according to the leaks, Aemond should realize that Helaemond is a dreamer and ask her for advice. The actors also talked a lot in interviews about their relationship and that they played Helaemond. I'm just waiting and hoping.

[verdemoun]

You mentioned before about Trelawny accidentally creating alternate universes so what are some examples of those? I can imagine one where they’re hybrids with their associated animals (I associate animals with most of the gang but I haven’t finished yet and I would love to talk about it) or an au where Hosea didn’t die or one where he was the leader or an au where Kieran survived and was more relevant during the later missions and things like that

Shout out to the Strange Man who is the same sort of pseudo-immortal trickster god as Trelawney and is entirely aware of how many times he has fucked up the rdr timeline. Trelawney is like his annoying little brother he turns up to stare at him in silent disappointment as Trelawney realizes how bad he has fucked up. The Strange Man has much more of a code about not interfering with timelines and prefers just being an omnipotent vague god-like figure who turns up around interesting people. This includes lecturing Trelawney about how stupid he is.

some of my fav Trelawney fucked up aus:

stopped Dutch and Hosea from picking up Arthur or ever forming a gang, believing everyone in the gang would have a better chance on their own. accidentally lead to AU where low honor Arthur was the leader of the Morgan Gang, and low honor Kieran is the leader of the O'Driscolls due to Colm being killed by Arthur.

Dutch dying in 1899 due to meddling somehow resulted in undead nightmare AU. rocks up in 1911 expecting to see John Marston living happily uncontacted by the bureau because the gang fell apart naturally and instead there's zombies everywhere and The Strange Man is waiting for him because Josiah Trelawney is in trouble.

Straight up told John he was from the future and what would happen if he went after Micah, which lead to the bureau contacting Micah to hunt down the rest of the gang AU after Micah killed Dutch over the Blackwater money. Micah, being evil, wiped out the entire Marston family.

Attempted to save everyone's lives in a rdr2 time loop style knowing when they were meant to die and doing small things like shouting at Sean to duck, keeping an eye on Kieran at the party, talking them out of the Saint Denis bank job. Butterfly effect resulted in others dying seemingly in their place eg. Molly getting taken by O'Driscolls and tortured to death, Javier being fatally shot, Jack being killed by Bronte because the gang couldn't pay him. Ended in Hosea being shot in the place of Grimshaw, which while Dutch immediately turned and killed Micah in revenge still drove him as insane with grief.

Trelawney thinking he was slick and telling Micah to work with Strauss for a cut of the debt money, resulting in Micah getting TB instead of Arthur. However, because Micah is generally grosser and in camp far more often it spreads through most of the VDL gang and they drop in the following months.

Good ending AU where the gang actually made it to Tahiti, Arthur didn't have TB, everyone was alive and happy farming mangoes and it was perfect but in being such a massive part of the VDL gang to ensure everything went perfect Trelawney forgot to meet his wife and then undid the timeline just to have her and his precious children back.

[augustusaugustus]

14.90 The Party’s Over (Part Two)

Rod really likes getting up in Tom’s face.  

A second post, focusing on the Tom & Rod plotline, where the owner of the house used for last episode’s obbo gives Tom information about a suspicious man. Rod is cynical, Tom is sympathetic, and unsurprisingly, they clash. Multiple times. Often from bare inches apart.

Rod wins this particular battle, despite Tom’s childhood obsession with military history.

[gojuo]

https://www.tumblr.com/gojuo/717844532167884800?source=share

They will literally portray Rhaenyra's tyranny as she was unjustly framed that way by the greens and the historians lmaoo what did I expected from Hollywood? Females characters can no longer be villains

Yeah to be honest I can already see this thought process forming in TB stans, however Rhaenyra:

publicly endorsed Blood and Cheese by never denouncing Daemon and Mysaria, practically sanctioning the act even if she didn't order it

put a blockade on the Gullet and Blackwater Bay to ice out the Greens in King's Landing, which meant that the smallfolk were being starved to death since no ship with provisions could enter the city because of her

flew to Driftmark specifically to have Daemon behead Vaemond, whose desecrated body she then fed to Syrax

decorated the walls of the Red Keep with severed heads daily

sent out knights inquisitors (aka torturers) on the smallfolk of King's Landing over the whereabouts of Jaehaera and Maelor

put a bounty on Jaehaera (6 years old) and Maelor (2 years old)

she taxed the smallfolk of King's Landing who had already been starving because of her blockade, who had been suffering through 2 years of war which she refused to end, who were suffering through winter as well, all to throw lavish parties to celebrate the installation of Joffrey as Prince of Dragonstone

she ordered Lord Mooton to violate guest right in order to execute Nettles for sleeping with her husband

she ordered for Addam of Hull to be executed for the grand crime of being a bastard

she ordered for Daemon to be jailed for cheating on her

she ordered for Corlys to be jailed and executed for defending Addam

she didn't tax nobles or took out loans from the Iron Bank. She taxed the commoners of King's Landing in order to throw a party while the war — which she refused to put an end to — was still going on

These are all objective facts about the things she did. The writers of the show can twist and bend canon all they like in order to whitewash her — which I'm sure they will — but these cannot be blamed on "Green propaganda" because these deeds are all objectively and without bias things she did and said in F&B with her own two hands and mouth.

[triviallytrue]

BG3 Feat Tierlist

Fuck it, here's every feat in the game split into four tiers. Within each tier, feats mentioned earlier are better.

Always Take

Feats that, when applicable to your build, are so good they should always be taken.

Tavern Brawler

The best feat in the game by a wide margin. Strength elixirs are available by the time you hit level 4, so for throwers and monks this is a flat +5/+5 to all attack and damage rolls, scaling to a +8/+8 when you get Cloud Giant elixirs in act 3. The fact that it gives you +1 Con on top of that just makes it even more absurd.

Sharpshooter/Great Weapon Master

Both feats revolve around the -5/+10 attack/damage passive, which is crucial for dealing damage as a non-TB martial. Requires a fair bit of game knowledge to manage (should be toggled off against high AC/low HP enemies) and prepare for (Oils of Accuracy, sources of advantage), but in the hands of a skilled player it's essential. The question of which of the two is better gets into thornier debates about ranged vs melee - GWM has the better extra feature with bonus action attacks, but ranged martials can already utilize their bonus action with hand crossbows and have archery style for extra accuracy, but melee gets strength elixirs- on and on.

Often Take

Feats that are not essential but will be useful in a lot of builds.

Dual Wielder

Funnily enough, this feat is the closest thing pure spellcasters have to an Always Take. Melee martials are better off with two-handed weapons and ranged martials don't care, but pure spellcasters can use this feat to dual wield staffs. As early as mid act 1 with the Spellsparkler and Melf's First Staff, this makes a big difference, and in the lategame this allows for dual wielding the Markoheshkir and Staff of Spell Power. Oh, and you get a free +1 AC on top. Isn't an Always Take because if you're running more than one pure spellcaster, you may want to distribute the staffs instead.

Savage Attacker

On a d12 this averages out to +2 damage, which is fine but not incredible. What really makes this shine is that the effect applies to all additional rider dice as well, which is a hefty chunk of damage by the late game. A very nice option for melee builds to pump up their damage, especially if using strength elixirs.

Ability Score Improvement

The default option. Bland, unsexy, but almost always a pretty good choice.

War Caster

The opportunity attack feature here is negligible, but as it turns out, not losing your concentration when you get hit is really, really important. Most dramatic example is twinned haste, where losing concentration will stun half your party, but there are lots of other scenarios where it's pretty bad. Only reason it isn't higher is that there's other ways to obtain advantage on concentration saves, but if you don't have access to those, this is worth taking.

Alert

Much improved over its tabletop counterpart, due to BG3 using a d4 for initiative rolls. If you commit to this one partywide (or on all non-dex primary characters) you can almost always all go first, especially nice for parties that benefit from interweaving actions when they go together.

Resilient

Useful for patching up your saving throws - you can't gain saving throw proficiencies by multiclassing. Mostly useful with Constitution for casters looking to never blow a concentration save, but could be nice to have to buff up Intelligence saves against stuns.

Rarely Take

These feats have niche uses but aren't generally optimal.

Elemental Adept

A very hard one to rank. There are three good elements in BG3 - Lightning, Cold, and Fire. Lightning and Cold resistance are uncommon and can be mitigated with Wet and Fire resistance can be bypassed with Arsonist's Oil, so that part of the feat is less useful than it would appear at first glance. The damage increase is +0.5 per damage die on average, so a Fireball or Lightning Bolt will deal +4 damage per target, which is quite good. Cantrips deal +0.5/+1/+1.5 more, which is less impressive. The main downsides are that you only get it for a single damage type when you'll want to use spells from all three, and that the main elemental damage specialist (Draconic Bloodline Sorcerer) gets their Charisma added to their specialized damage anyway, so Ability Score Improvement for +1 attack/DC/damage is competitive. I think this narrowly misses the cut in most builds, but it's still pretty good.

Lucky

Loses points because it doesn't synergize with... well, anything, but it's never bad to be able to reroll important rolls 3 times a day. A slightly suboptimal alternative to Ability Score Improvement if you don't have anything you want and are feeling quirky. Be warned that it may slow down the pace of play with random boxes.

Sentinel

Unfortunately doesn't have the juice to be a core building block with its Polearm Master synergy bugged, but it does accommodate a tank-adjacent playstyle that you really can't get any other way. Purely mechanically it isn't terrible either, but generally there are better options.

Actor

Useful if you have a Warlock/Sorcerer Tav who isn't going to multiclass into Bard or Rogue. Still not great in most situations - you can get a lot of other bonuses to ability checks and there's a parasite power that gives you expertise in all the social skills in act 3.

Polearm Master

Kind of a tragic feat, considering its stature in tabletop. The bonus action attack doesn't proc additional non-ability modifiers like the Great Weapon Master passive, which severely limits its usefulness, and the classic synergy with Sentinel is buggy and unreliable. Still probably usable, but only just.

Spell Sniper

All damage cantrips besides Eldritch Blast are pretty bad, so be sure to take that one. In general you'd rather take two levels in Warlock to get the goodies that make Eldritch Blast ridiculously good instead of merely better than Firebolt, but as it turns out there is a clear niche use where this is completely optimal: Eldritch Knights that need a cantrip to use with their bonus action attack but can't spare two levels for Warlock because they want the level 11 fighter multiattack. The expanded crit range is worth more to them than the other Magic Initiate crap or a single level in Warlock. Go figure!

Mobile

Optimal for Hamarhraft builds, if you're the kind of person who likes crazy builds in theory and is willing to push through hours of tedium in practice. Everyone else should steer clear, movement speed is nice but not worth spending a feat on and the other benefits are negligible.

Never Take

There are strictly superior options.

Defensive Duellist

Close to putting this one in Rarely Take, but I cannot in good conscience endorse putting in a feat so you can burn reactions on buffing AC, or one-handed melee builds in general.

Martial Adept

Very hard to justify a feat for a single superiority die (ie, one maneuver per fight).

Charger

Would be usable if it was a passive or just cost your action, but spending your bonus action in exchange for only 5 damage and not being able to combo other abilities with it makes this one a no-go.

Mage Slayer

Want to fuck with casters? That's what Wizardsbane Oil and Arrows of Arcane Interference are for. Don't waste a feat on those squishy nerds.

Shield Master

Makes you tankier without making you more resilient to actually dangerous conditions like stuns. Don't spend feats around avoiding damage - enemies can't damage you when they're dead.

Medium Armour Master

Decent effects in the early game (more the AC than the stealth) but obsoleted by magic items that give you these effects or better for free.

Heavy Armor Master

-3 damage, only from nonmagical sources, in a game where most heavy armor users will have more health than they ever need? Not worth a feat.

Tough

Gives less HP at level 12 than a level 5 Aid cast, which hits the entire party.

Crossbow Expert

Crossbows in BG3 already get the main feature that makes this good in tabletop for free. Instead you get the ability to hit from point blank range (you should not be doing this) and a slight improvement to a mediocre ability. Pass.

Athlete

Don't sacrifice one of your ability points for the ability to stand up faster and jump a little farther. There is a level 1 ritual spell which triples your jump distance.

Lightly/Moderately/Heavily Armored/Weapon Master

You're better off getting your proficiencies through multiclassing instead of feats, even with the ability score bonus.

Ritual Caster

Take a level in Wizard.

Magic Initiate X

Take a level in X.

Durable

This is what healing potions are for, and it's hard to run out.

Performer

Just play a Bard. It's a really good class, I promise.

Skilled

A feat on extra skill proficiencies, in a game where you can build an entire party to cover the handful of actual relevant skills? Come on now.

Dungeon Delver

Worst feat in the game. Not only are its stated benefits complete ass, its main feature is glitched and offers no benefits.

[eastwindmlk]

Here we are! On the last day of Jilytober! We did it! 31 prompts, 31 ficlets and a total of 19.7k words written!

Day 1: 🎶 “Before the dawn I hear you whisper in your sleep, ‘Don’t let the morning take him.’” 🎶 - Judas Priest - Before the Dawn.

Arise, Fair Sun, a small, angsty continuation of a Jilyweek drabble! Word count: 465

Day 2: A: “If anyone does X I’m going to love them forever.” B: Does X.

The Rest is History, 5th year, I am so not into him and James being a little shit. Word count; 501

Day 3: Spoiling Harry

Quaffle, a poor attempt at drawing Word count: A picture is worth 1000 words right?

Day 4: Featuring McGonagall (It is her birthday after all)

Ever Your Devoted Godson, our first outside POV (There are a lot) James writes a letter to his godmother. Word count: 939

Day 5: 🎶 “Get the car packed, throw me the keys. Run away with me.” 🎶 Aaron Tveit - Run Away With Me.

Wanderlust, fluff and stargazing Word count; 304

Day 6: Making food together/Food disaster Wor

Chocolate, Pistachio and Pumpkin Pie, Sirius' POV, fluff and pregnancy cravings. Word count: 329

Day 7: 🎶“No grave can hold my body down, I’ll crawl home to her” - Work Song by Hozier

No Grave Can Hold Me Down, alternate Oct 31st, soulmates, MCD Word count; 567

Day 8: Prompt: “Maybe we can find out what the hell your problem is over dinner sometime”

Copy by Five, Newspaper AU! Co-Workers, Rivals. Word count: 442

Day 9: “You just checked your phone three seconds ago.”

Game, Text, Match, Muggle AU, continuation of Jilychallenge fic. Word count: 549

Day 10: Prompt: Meddling Parents.

Tea with milk and motherly advice, No Voldemort AU, Meddling Euphemia Potter, set in the world of TB(itb)ND Word count: 575

Day 11: Prompt: 🎶“Uncovering feelings unfound”🎶 - Out of the Blue by Katie Pruitt

Moonlight, Moon Bright, 7th year, Head Students, Feelings Realisation Word counts: 311

Day 12: "sometimes I wonder if you're in love with me."

Pumpkin Juice and Painful Confessions, Veritaserum, 7th year. Word Count: 1138

Day 13: Muggle Technology

Baby you can drive my car, Outside POV, James in the muggle world Word count: 1113

Day 14: Surprise Party

Welcome Home Party, Outside POV, First War, Word count: 476

Day 15: "You can kiss me, you know."

A gift that keeps on giving, Pre-dating, James is bad at flirting. Word count: 441

Day 16: 🎶“My words are my faith, to hell with our good name”🎶 - Hum Hallelujah by Fall Out Boy

Bigger Fish, Muggle AU, Grand gestures, open-ended to be continued. Word count: 748

Day 17: “It’s cute when your face gets red like that.”

Sideways Dog, Praying Grasshopper, Fluff and humour, flirting, yoga. Word count: 384

Day 18: Neighbours

Across the street, Muggle AU, meet-cute, accidental voyeurism (but like spicy like mayo) Word count: 338

Day 19: “You could say it a hundred times and I still won’t listen.”

My beautiful wife, ugh, Married Jily, Pregnancy. Word count: 507

Day 20: 🎶Try to move on, it's back to you that all my roads keep leading 🎶 - Before I Fall Apart by Elle Coves

Mushrooms and Moving On, Pre-relationship, James and Sirius are besties, pining. Word count: 1603

Day 21: "Let me distract you"

Familiar paths, Married Jily, First War. Word count: 280

Day 22: "How long have you been standing there?" "Longer than you'd like."

Dance like no one is watching, no voldie, little domestic jily, silly, fluffy goofiness. Word count: 361

Day 23: Indulging in hobbies

Midnight Premier, Muggle AU loosely inspired by @annabtg's AO3 is down, just nerd being nerds. Word count: 341

Day 24: 🎶Then I know everything is gonna be fine, Because you are mine🎶 -You Shine from Carrie - The Musical

Little ponds, That would be continuation of day 16. Bigger Fish, Muggle AU, Grand gestures, weddings, open-ended. Word count: 3606 (Yeah, I know)

Day 25: "Are we going to talk about it?" "I'd rather not.”

Actions and Consequences, Post SWM and spiritual prequel to Held in Contempt James and Sirius being 'best friends' Word count: 675

Day 26: 🎶One bright morning goes so easy. Darkness always finds you either way🎶 - First Light by Hozier

In the morning where I'm real, married jily, mild angst, first war. Word count: 343

Day 27: “what if it doesn’t work” “what if it does work”

I can hear the bells, Sirius POV, nervous James, could be Jilypad if I were multishipping trash... Wait. Word count: 370

Day 28: Holiday fic

Under the mistletoe, art, inspired by last year's christmas calendar fic.

Day 29: Cold Winter nights

By Firelight, married jily, cottage life Word count: 378

Day 30: 🎶"where's the trophy? he just comes running over to me"🎶 - The Alchemy by Taylor Swift

Win or Lose, married jily, no voldy, quidditch player James. Word count: 933

Day 31: Accidental couples costume.

Better to see you with, my dear, Hogwarts, Halloween

[raytorosaurus]

i've been so curious about this 'unofficial therapist' that thursday had???? which member is he? how did they find him?? could he always play an instrument or did they ask him to learn so they could keep him around? did he actually help that much? how did it change thursday's writing? i don't expect you to have the answer to all of these things but you seem to know a lot about them and if nothing else i need to know who their therapist is and what 'unofficial' means in this case if you can help at all!

oh lol haha unofficial in the very literal sense so my guy andrew everding of the "no one ever expects it" chest hair fame from my chemical romance in the studio 2002 (@3:10) is like...the y/n of thursday.

he's just a nice dude who hangs around and everyone likes, good friend of the guys in thursday, and then his house burns down and he has nowhere to stay so thursday were like yo just come tour with us and he did. because he's also a very talented (multi?-)instrumentalist and, as it turns out, a great composer too. also at some stage he lived with geoff's mom? it is unclear if this is before or after the fire and/or joining thursday as a touring member. he also photographed their first west coast tour in 2002?

so like anyway by 2003 he's playing keys for the watt tour which is like.....I'd say the darkest point of thursday's history but that would be a fucking lie lol. let's say the darkest point of thursday's history so far. the guys are super stressed, super overworked, super depressed, and under loads of pressure from their label who's saying they're underperforming the expectations they had for them. geoff in particular is copping a lottt of criticism for his singing which he really internalised, and basically everyone in the band is miserable. they were also. not fucking talking to each other. like at all. they would just all constantly bitch about each other behind everyone's back and never say shit to their face. andrew, as a touring member but not official member, and as a Nice Guy, ends up becoming like...the intermediary to whom everyone in the band went to vent. so he's like trying to fix their shit and be positive and he puts his foot down and is like guys you NEED to learn to COMMUNICATE. (spoilers they didn't) but anyway the band after a particularly nasty and conflict-laden tour of australia in 2004 are like fuck this we're breaking up! but then as soon as they agreed to breaking up they were like wait. so much of the pressure is gone now. actually we're good we just need a break :) but media has kind of already picked up on the story of them breakup up so it was all dreadfully will they/won't they. this is also right as three cheers is blowing the fuck up btw 😭😭 #we'retwosidesofthesamecoin #he'smyvillain.

oh shit and then they go on warped 04 as what would have been kinda their last thing but they're like hey look at this we're sorta starting to work on our problems! oh and then at the vegas date 24yo geoff gets shotgun married to a woman he'd been dating for two years with mcr, tbs, and the bouncing souls as the wedding party 😭😭😭😭😭.

ANYWAY. they end up not breaking up but take a break from touring and then all move in together for a while? i think bc they were a little scattered at that point and geoff might have been living in sydney (his wife was australian) at the time idk so when he came over to do thursday shit they just like lived together apparently. and they write city by the light divided (so titled bc the band, naturally, was totally divided on how they wanted the album to sound lol). anyway the main difference now is this time round they've invited andrew to join as an official member!! :DDD

...unfortunately for andrew, this is also the time thursday stops being even slightly commercially viable lol so he's like technically im earning less money now than i had been on a tour salary lolz. anyway he becomes a big part of the writing process, especially for that album and no devolucion, the instrumentals if which were apparently driven pretty heavily by him!

then in 2008 onwards thursday were all broke as fuck and needed to get day jobs to pay rent. most of them went into like...food service or painting houses, but tucker drummed for mcr for a bit and andrew worked as.....a guitar tech? for patd????? (also after the break up, tucker was in boy band the wanted for a while as their touring drummer. he loved it lol <3)

anyway tragically, andrew hasn't appeared at any of the reunion shows 😔. he's private so no details but he was dealing with some health issues towards the end of thursday that contributed to the band deciding to break up and has a baby and shit now. but he did continue touring as a musician a bit, like with neil finn in 2014!!!!!! playing some wacky fancy midi/synth electronic instrument iirc? epic collision of my childhood fave and new-adulthood fave.

anyway lol this is all typed out in bed on my phone off the top of my head so there might be some chronology errors in there, but a lot of this is from their documentary, kill the house lights! it's a comedy. dark comedy.

#andrewnation <3