#tazdelightful

[raspberrybluejeans]

OH mY GOD. O MY gGOD.

I happened upon this post from tazdelightful again about the Lena (Blupjeans fankid) Zine and was so sad about that link being dead but this time i searched around online and i FOUND IT!!!!! I FOUND IT!!!!!!!! BEHOLD

IM SO HAPPY AND EXCITED TO READ THIS OMG

[acadieum]

ko-fi commission of blupjeans ice skating for @tazdelightful !

[asimovsideburns]

Now I’m thinking about Oath of Conquest Paladin Kravitz and damn… that’s cool as fuck…

[amy-thystt]

i kept forgetting to post it, but aaaa i got one of @tazdelightful‘s stickers, and the accompanying sketch made me so happy 💖💖💖your blupjeans art is so adorable, please never stop drawing them!

[teruthecreator]

Who She Wants to Be

ummmmmm, so this was supposed to be a short lil’ thing based on @tazdelightful‘s blupjeans baby that i’ve had many a thought about because i needed a reason to start writing again

buuuuuuut then i made it 11 pages long and oops! pobody’s nerfect i guess!! (theres a brief mention of drugs/drug use, but its pot and its also like literally two lines but just thought id mention) 

She was born in a ring of fire. Ravens croaked and cawed, perched diligently all around the Raven Queen’s chamber, watching with beady eyes as she was birthed. Blessed by two powerful goddesses upon birth, she opened her eyes to a shadowy room and the teary-eyed faces of her mother and father. Her mother gasped at the sight, while her father could barely contain the tears that were flowing in streams down his face. A dark mass, looming past those faces, seemed to radiate a loving warmth from its being as it addressed the two:

“She is beautiful,” Her parents nodded in response, too overwhelmed to produce a verbal response.

“She’s our beautiful Marlena,” her father whispered hoarsely, and then a strange mass passed over her line of sight as he moved to cup her face.

She was born in a ring of fire, in the presence of two powerful goddesses, in the realm of the Raven Queen.

And all Marlena Bluejeans could do, in that exact moment following her birth, was scream as loud as humanly possible.

                                                             ---

At age four and a half (the half was extremely important), Marlena decided she only wanted to wear polka dotted corduroy pants, and only polka dotted corduroy pants.

“Lena, sweetie, please come back!” Her father could be heard shouting down the hall as Marlena races to the steps, giggling all the while. She reaches the stairs and clumsily bounds down them to the first floor, her father’s worried voice echoing through the large home. On the first floor, she makes a mad dash to the kitchen, where her mother was making lunch.

Upon arrival, Marlena immediately ducks behind her mother’s legs, still giggling like a madwoman. Her mother pauses her vicious stirring of something to peer at her runt of a daughter, a mischievous smile tugging on the corners of her lips.

“What’s goin’ on, lil’ stinker?” she asks, just as her husband rounds the corner and skids to halt. Marlena giggles even more as her father takes two steps into the kitchen, then leans over the island counter to desperately catch his breath. Not even her mother can hold in her laughter, as she lets out a snort and asks, “You good, Bear?”

He nods his head into the counter, taking a couple deep breaths before lifting his body off of the counter and presenting the lilac purple t-shirt he’s been clutching in his hands.

“Shirt. Please. Wear.” He pants, which prompts his wife to finally get a proper look at her daughter. And, just as her husband implied, she was most certainly not wearing a shirt. Her favorite pair of purple-and-pink polka dotted corduroy pants, yes, but definitely not a shirt.

Marlena giggles some more as her mother shakes her head.

“We’re not goin’ out anywhere, babe, just let her wear the pants.” She says, taking the few steps to reach her husband and kiss him on the cheek. “Let her be rogue for the short time she can be.”

“B-But, honey, she needs a shirt--”

“And you need a new pair of work pants because, if last I checked, somebody ‘accidentally’ burned a hole in his old pair. But you don’t see me dragging your ass out to the store any time soon, huh?” Her husband considers this, face tinted with an embarrassed blush, before conceding.

“Alright, alright,” he says, causing both mother and daughter to cheer. He smiles and shakes his head, scooping up Marlena and pointing a playfully-strict finger at her. “But when we go to dinner with Uncle Taako and Uncle Kravitz tomorrow, you are wearing a shirt.”

Marlena giggles and nods her head, though she knows well enough that her father will give up again; just like he’s done countless times before.

                                                              ---

At age eight, Marlena learns Magic Missile. Which is, admittedly, pretty great; figuring no one taught her Magic Missile. But it’s also pretty bad because that means no one is expecting her to know Magic Missile, which makes them finding out even more of a catastrophe.

“Pshaw, psh psh pew! Take that!” Marlena cries out from the living room of her uncles’ apartment, playing pretend-magic with her Uncle Taako’s Krebstar. She bounds over the plush couch and does a tuck-and-roll as she avoids shots from her invisible assailants.

Nearly ten feet away, in the kitchen, her Uncle Kravitz worries.

“Love, is it really safe for her to be playing with your magical focus?” he says, chopping a head of iceberg lettuce with practiced ease. “What if she gets hurt?”

Taako pushaws at his husband’s remark, cracking some black pepper into the sauce he’s been working on. “The most that kid can do with that thing is let off a few sparks. And if it keeps her busy, then fine by me. I only have so much energy to keep up with a direct spawn of Lup’s energy and cook a baller dinner at the same time.” Kravitz chuckles under his breath, careful to keep his knowledge of Taako’s legitimate love and adoration of his niece to himself. He knows for a fact that that girl could ask for anything in the entire multiverse, and Taako would find a way to give her it and then some.

“As long as you’re certain--” Kravitz’s sentence is cut off by a loud exclamation of “ABRA-KA-FLIP-YOU!” before an even louder boom startles the pair. Taako’s already five feet ahead of Kravitz before he can even turn and notice the charred remains of a few priceless paintings on the wall of their living room, as well as the hole burned clean through the wall itself.

And, standing a couple of steps away from the wreckage, is the culprit; Marlena, looking both triumphant and terrified, clutching the Krebstar in a battle stance.

Both adults gape at the scene before them, unable to parse what exactly happened, when Marlena drops the Krebstar and takes a giant step backward.

“I’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorry,” she says as tears begin to build in her eyes. Before they have the chance to fall, though, her uncle lets out a wheeze of laughter.

“Holy shit this is fucking incredible,” Taako wheezes out as he waves a hand over the wreckage, mending the wall and extinguishing the flames in a matter of seconds. “Bubbeleh, you do not need to apologize for some sick-ass casting.” This seems to both confuse Marlena and alarm Kravitz.

“Taako, she just burned a hole through our wall.” Kravitz says, taking a step toward his husband. “Th-This is an obvious sign of that unkempt magical energy Barry kept saying he was detecting on her as an infant. We need to do something about that.” Taako looks back to his husband and rolls his eyes, walking the short distance to his forgotten focus and hefting it over his shoulder.

“Yeah, what we’re gonna do is invest in some targets and get this girl her own wand.” he says as he ruffles Marlena’s hair. “Ch’girl got some crazy skills already and we haven’t even taught her anything.” He looks down to address his niece with a lazy grin. “But starting tomorrow we’re gonna be holding Magic Day at your momma’s house.”

Marlena’s eyes light up, and she lets out a gleeful noise as she hugs her uncle. Taako instinctively hoists her up into his free arm to hug her properly, and Kravitz sighs fondly at the two. Before Taako can notice, though, Kravitz makes his way back to the kitchen; where a forgotten dinner needs to be finished, and a Stone of Farspeech awaits a call to his coworkers.

                                                                ---

At age twelve, Marlena sits her parents down for a talk.

“You want to do what now?” Her mother asks skeptically, setting her morning cup of coffee on the table.

“I want to stay with traditional schooling.” Marlena repeats, her tone serious and unflinching even as both her parents eye her with concern and bafflement.

“But, sweetie, just last week you were complaining about those boys who keep asking you about your mother! Wouldn’t homeschooling fix that?” Her father says, hands folded in the way he does when he’s too nervous to figure out what to do with them.

“Yeah, but it doesn’t bother me enough to make me want to leave all my friends!” Marlena says.

“But it’s not like they’re giving you any new information.” Her mother adds with an accusing jab of her finger. “I’ve seen you sneaking around with Ango’s college textbooks; I know you know more than what you’re letting on! And we’re already teaching you magic, so what’s the big deal about us teaching you everything else?”

“You would learn at your own pace, and at your own leisure,” her father continues. “And just because it’s called ‘homeschooling’ doesn’t mean we’re going to force you to stay here. The rest of the family are all on-board with taking you in for weeks at a time to teach you their own tricks of the trade. Uncle Taako’s already called dibs on you for the next month!”

“You could graduate in, like, a year; just like your cousin! Doesn’t that sound great?” Her mother finishes with an enthusiastic grin, much like the one her father is also sporting. All the joy they seem to have about this idea is cut short when Marlena slams her hand down on the table.

“No!” She exclaims, her half-elf ears twitching slightly in frustration. “Because what you don’t get is that I don’t want to graduate in a year!” This causes her parents to both freeze, glancing nervously back at one another to see what the other might say. But Marlena gives them no time to say anything when she stands up and gestures angrily at nothing.

“Look, I get it. You guys both want what’s best for me, you love me, yadda yadda. But I’m not like my cousin. I don’t have a family I’m desperately trying to avoid because of personal reasons, and I don’t have a career I’m desperately trying to pursue. I’m just a kid who wants to do kid things like play kickball in Gym and write essays on topics I think are boring! You just don’t understand that I hide my knowledge from you guys because I want you to keep me in school!”

“It’s hard being me! Every other week I’m getting kidnapped by necromancers looking to use me; if I sneeze too hard sometimes I let out a bolt of lightning because I still don’t have full control of my magic; and people publish articles about me if I decide to wear the same jacket two days in a row! I just wanna be like every other middle schooler and go to school! And play soccer with friends after class! And eat Cheese Wiz straight from the can on a dare, even though I know it’ll make me puke! I just. Want. A normal life.”

She’s panting by the time she finishes, and there are angry tears building in the corners of her eyes. But she’s said what she had to say, and so she plops back down in her chair and holds her breath for a response.

“We…” Her mother mutters, eyes still wide and mouth slightly agape. “I…”

“Aw, beans,” her father says as he leans over to hug his daughter. “Lena, we didn’t know.”

“Well, we did--we did know all that other stuff--about the kidnapping and the jacket thing--but uh, we didn’t, uh. We didn’t realize how you felt.” Her mother fumbles for the right words, standing to also hug her daughter. “We’re sorry we hurt you, Len-Len…”

“You didn’t--” Marlena sniffles. “You didn’t hurt me. I just...I didn’t tell you. It’s my fault…” Her father shakes his head and reaches around to pet her hair.

“No blame game, missy. If anyone is at fault for this, it’s us,” he says sternly. “We’re your parents, and we should know when our daughter’s upset.” His wife nods as she wedges herself into the hug.

“Yeah, he’s right.” she adds with a reassuring squeeze of Marlena’s hand. “So the next time you feel something this strongly, you come and tell us. Because we’re still, uh, sorta new at this; and we don’t always catch when something’s bothering you.”

“Y-You’re not mad, though?” Marlena asks, squished between her parents in an awkward tangle of bodies and limbs. Her mother guffaws.

“Mad? Bullshit! I would’ve felt worse if we had gone through in pulling you out of school!” She pulls away from the hug to look her daughter in the eye. “Sweetie, we love you. We want what you want.”

“Unless that ‘want’ involves drugs, alcohol, crime, necromancy, et cetra.” Her husband adds.

“Yeah, except that. But if it’s something like school,” she rolls her eyes. “Go buck wild, sweetcheeks. Go play soccer out back. Play pranks on the shitty subs. Eat a bug. We just want you to be happy.” Both of Marlena’s parents lean in to kiss her on the forehead, causing Marlena to gag and push them away with a laugh. The three of them share in this moment for a while before the morning settles into its usual routine.

About an hour after the fact, Marlena clears her throat to catch the attention of her parents.

“Uh, I know we just got done with the whole ‘I wanna stay in school’ thing. But uh, if Uncle Taako still has the offer open…” She trails off, looking nervously around the room. Her mother laughs and pulls out her Stone of Farspeech.

“I’m sure he can re-clear his schedule.”

                                                             ---

At sixteen, Marlena gets caught redhanded at the Spring Formal.

“It’s not what you think!” Marlena quickly exclaims, even though it is exactly what it seems. If this was her mother, it would all be over. Guns ablazing; fury absolute; no survivors. If it were her father, then it would be weird. A lot of awkward coughs, little to no eye contact, and a very stiff conversation to follow at home.

But, somehow, Marlena got the worst out of any of these options; her Uncle Merle.

“Uh-huh, suuuuure,” he says, surveying the scene before him. “It sure doesn’t look like ya were just mackin’ on this young lady, riiight.” He turns his attention to the nervous girl standing beside Marlena. “And what’s yer name, hun?”

“U-Uhhhh,” she stutters, cheeks a fiery red. “Isabelle.” Merle nods his head and runs a hand through his crunchy beard.

“Well, Isabelle, why dontcha just run on back inside the cafeteria so me and my niece can have a chat, alright?” Isabelle cannot nod fast enough, and she gives Marlena one final glance before racing down the darkened hallway and back to the dance.

The silence left behind by Isabelle’s exit is deafening, and Marlena looks far too wired to try and explain what Merle just waddled into. Merle, on his end, looks like he has all the time in the world to address the fact that he just caught his niece kissing someone at a high school dance.

“Sooooo, I’m guessin’ I don’t need to give you a talk ‘bout the birds and bees.” Merle starts off, causing Marlena to immediately shake her head. “Figured. But, uh, that girl. She, uhhhhhh, you two dating?” Marlena looks around for a couple of seconds, before looking at her heel-clad feet and nodding her head. “Figured that, too. How long?”

There’s a shift in the air around them before Marlena mutters, “Four months,” and then promptly slaps a hand over her mouth. Merle chuckles and shakes his head.

“You been around me for how long, kid, and you didn’t think I’d try an’ Zone of Truth ya?”

“I’m not exactly thinking right now, okay!?” Marlena blurts out. “I’m kind of experiencing my Worst Case Scenario at the moment, so if you could excuse my lack of oversight on you casting the same damn spell for the millionth time that would be great!” She slaps a hand over her mouth again, then drops it when Merle laughs some more.

“Geez, somebody’s feisty tonight…” Merle looks around, then shakes his head. “Come on, this is no place for a talk this.”

And then, just like that; they’re in a simple office with a long table, surrounded by cushy office chairs, overlooking a sunset-filled sky.

Marlena rolls her eyes.

“Parley. Really?” She looks at him with an uninterested stare. Merle huffs at her.

“What? I’ll have you know I’ve had some great conversations in here!”

“Yeah, and most of them ended in you dying…” Marlena points out as she walks to the table and plops down in one of the chairs. Merle laughs again and sits across from her, a chess board suddenly appearing between them.

“Hopefully this one won’t,” he gestures to the board, a silent offer that is met with a silent confirmation. He moves his first piece and leans back in his chair.

“So. Four months is a long time to go without introducing her to the family.” Merle says, watching Marlena tense before she moves a pawn. “You had any plans on having her meet us orrrr….”

“I did.” she mutters, moving another piece. “That all kind of just got ruined, though, and she’s probably never going to talk to me again, so that’s something.”

“Why do you think that?” Merle moves a bishop.

“Because people have this ill-conceived notion that you’re all these big, intimidating people; and she’s gonna get scared that you’re all going to come after her, or somethin’...” she moves another pawn.

“That’s kind of a stupid thought,”

“Why do you think that?”

“Because she’s your girlfriend!” Merle says as he captures one of Marlena’s pawns. “Listen, I may be no ‘romance expert’, but four months is a long time for relationships, at your age. If she wasn’t scared off by the thought of your family being the Seven Birds before, then I don’t think that’s suddenly going to change because one of them caught you two swappin’ spit in the Music hallway.”

“Gross,” Marlena mutters as she captures Merle’s knight.

“Listen, love is love. Once you love somebody, it takes a lot to change your mind about that.” Merle continues as he moves his rook. “Look, if Dav still hasn’t left me after alla my baggage, then I think there’s plenty of hope for you and your girl.” He captures Marlena’s king in one fell swoop and sits back again. “Now, I’m not saying you two are necessarily ‘in love’; but by the way she was lookin’ at you before she split, I think it’s pretty damn close. She wouldn’t let that go because of something dumb like this.”

Marlena stares at the board, a little dumbfounded, before letting out a little chuckle of her own.

“I guess you’re right…” She says, fiddling with her queen. “It’s just…”

“Just what?” Merle asks with a quirked brow. Marlena’s ears turn a little pink.

“It’s just I’m...afraid. Of what Mom and Dad will think.” At that, Merle snorts.

“Honey, you got several uncles and aunts who are in the LGBT community; and so are your own damn parents. No one’s gonna freak out at you liking girls.” Marlena huffs and shakes her head.

“Not about that!” She replies, her voice cracking. “About...the time…”

“About the fact that you waited four months to tell them you have a girlfriend?” Merle says, to which she nods. Merle pauses for a minute, running his soulwood hand through his beard a few times, before having an idea. “Well, how about I don’t tell anybody about this little fiasco, as long as you promise me that you’ll bring Isabelle to the next family dinner?” Marlena looks up at Merle in shock. “That way it gives you a coupla weeks to figure out how you wanna go about it. That sound good?”

“Y-Yes!” She blurts, this time without any magical prompting. “You got a deal!” She reaches over the table to seal the deal with a handshake, to which Merle complies. “And, uh, thanks. I guess. For being cool about this.”

Merle hops off the chair and shrugs.

“Eh, that’s what makes me the ‘Chill Uncle”. Now let’s get you back to the dance, so your principal doesn’t think I snuck off the property to smoke some pot.”

And in another blink of an eye, they were back in that dark hallway. Marlena smiles at Merle one last time before running off to meet up with her girlfriend, leaving Merle to linger in the hallway.

“Ah, young love.” He sighs wistfully, watching Marlena’s figure disappear around a corner. He stands there for about another two minutes before shrugging and reaching into his pocket.

“Well, guess no one’ll miss Ol’ Merle tonight.” He says, waddling towards the back entrance, joint in hand.

                                                              ---

At age eighteen, Marlena graduated second in her class. She claimed it was because of a class she struggled with her Junior year, but her closest circle of friends know it’s primarily because she didn’t want to seem like she was handed the title of valedictorian. And if that left her girlfriend of two years at the very top, then that was only a bonus.

At graduation, Marlena doesn’t look for her family in the seats, because she can hear them several miles away.

“THAT’S MY GIRL!!!” Her mother screams from her seat, much to the dismay of the security guard standing a mere two feet away. “HI BABY!!!! WE LOVE YOU!!!” Not even her father, who is the more reserved of the two, is holding back his enthusiasm; screaming his fair share of positive words and firing off a few harmless sparks of magic.

Marlena rolls her eyes with a fond grin as she takes her seat in her row. Isabelle is beside her, reaching out to take her hand and give it a good squeeze. Marlena looks at her and gestures with her head back toward the crowd.

“If anybody asks, they aren’t my family.” She says, earning a small chuckle from her girlfriend.

“Then whose dinner did I crash last weekend?” Isabelle asks, earning herself her own giggle. The ceremony cuts their banter short as their principal addresses the crowd. After a performance from the Senior Choir, Marlena gets up to deliver her speech to the crowd. Isabelle shoots her a thumbs up as she reaches the stage, and Marlena smiles as she makes it to the podium. She’s never been one for public speaking, but this speech has been rehearsed enough times to where she could recite it without the paper in front of her.

“I was born in a ring of fire.” She begins, her voice echoing down the rows of families. “Ravens stood attentive around the room when I was born, and I was blessed by the powers of both the Raven Queen and Istus. When I was born, it has been said that both life and death stood at a perfect balance. And then, I screamed.”

“I screamed and screamed, and even when my mother tried to comfort me, I still screamed. My father told me that I screamed for an entire day, and it took being place in my crib to get me to stop. Now, I don’t know what this means entirely, but I can assume it means what I’ve always thought of myself: that I’m not special. I’m not special because, at the end of the day, I screamed like every other baby that’s ever been born does. I’m not special because I still slept in a crib, and I still wore diapers, and I still crapped my pants.”

“So when the world started telling me I was special, I was confused. Who decided I was special? It certainly wasn’t me; nor was it my parents. I was a kid, like every other kid on the planet. And I grew up, just like everyone else does. Now I’m graduating, just like every other kid sitting in these seats in front of me. I’m no different than your child, or anyone else’s child.”

“So I guess what I’m trying to say is: make yourself who you want to be. Set your own goals; follow your own path. Don’t let what others try and tell you be what you are if that’s not how you feel. Be the person you want to be. And if that person goes off to college, then that’s great. If not, then that’s great too. Because society doesn’t have the right to decide who you get to be. The only person who gets to decide that is you.”

“I was born in a ring of fire, in the deepest part of the Astral Plane, surrounded by goddesses with immeasurable amounts of power. But I still screamed, just like every other baby did when they were born.”

Her speech was met with thunderous applause, and a lot of erratic cheering from her family members. And, as she went back to her seat and watched the first solo performance of the ceremony, she smiled to herself.

Her name is Marlena Bluejeans, and she is exactly who she wants to be.

[hannahlady]

I’m not sorry at all

[holdmecloser-gandydancer]

For the prompt list, Angst, Taakitz #15

“Holding everything in doesn’t help, you know,” from this prompt list! [still accepting]

Kravitz is adept at dealing with malcontented spirits, aimless souls, and ghosts. He’s less adept at being married to one.

That sounds harsh he realizes and reaffirms that this is not a judgement of malice but one of concern. Taako’s been known to throw up a hostile front, similar to a cat puffing itself up to threaten foes, but receding almost completely into himself is something else. That’s all the past month or so has been. It hurts to see. Hurts to go days without seeing his own husband during waking hours. And what hurts most, Kravitz decides, is Taako acting like it isn’t happening.

Kravitz asks how Taako’s doing or offers a listening ear and often all he receives in reply are glib non-answers. Kravitz tries not to take it personally, he knows this is just how Taako deals with things but it’s hard. Marriage means you deal with things together.

The next time he sees Taako, he decides to broach the subject again.

“Taako! Hello, love, how are you?” he asks as Taako shuffles into the kitchen, followed closely behind by Traffic Cone, a cantankerous orange cat.

“Great!” he chirps before rummaging through the fridge. He takes out a container and sniffs its contents before recoiling. He hesitates before sliding it back in the fridge. He dodges all attempts at eye contact from Kravitz.

“Are you sure? I just feel like we’ve not seen a whole lot of each other lately. And I feel like something might be bothering you,” Kravitz continues, not willing to let Taako sweep this one away.

“Nope, cha’boy’s just fine, babe.” He shut the fridge and turned to Kravitz, giving him a tight smile and a quick kiss. “Nothing to worry about.”

“Come on, Taako, give me some credit. Nearly ninety years and you think I don’t know you better than that?” Kravitz frowns and takes one of Taako’s hands in his own. “Please. I know something is hurting you right now. I can see it. I love you so much, dearest. Just tell me what it is.”

“I hate your job.” Taako snaps as he clenches his jaw. “I hate your job and I hate the Raven Queen and her stupid bullshit order of life and death and sometimes I hate being married to the Grim Reaper.” He looks away and shakes his head, eyes glassy with unshed tears.

Kravitz nods, trying to not feel like he’s been hit in the chest by a large mallet. “Um. I-I see. I had no idea that this has been bothering you. I hate to ask but am I still making you happy? I don’t want you to feel…to feel burdened in anyway.”

Taako’s face falls, suddenly realizing the implication of his outburst. “Krav, oh my gods, no that’s not what I meant. Yes, you still make me happy! Just forget it, it’s dumb and I shouldn’t have brought it up.” He waves his free hand around his face and forces a watery smile.

“Taako, no. Please, I’m being sensitive, this isn’t your fault. We’re talking about you. No wiggling out of it. You were just telling me about how much you hate the Raven Queen.” Taako huffed out a small laugh. Kravitz’s face softens as he takes Taako’s face in his free hand. He idly rubs his thumb against Taako’s cheekbone. “Holding everything in doesn’t help, you know,” he murmurs.

Despite the tremulous wobble of his lower lip, Taako manages to hold it together. “Damn it, Bones, stop knowing me so well,” he grumbles. A sigh. And another. “I love you so much but you have also brought me so much fucking pain, you know that? And it’s not your fault. It’s just upholdin’ the will of the Raven Queen and all that,” Taako uses his best approximation of Kravitz’s work accent for a short moment of levity. “But you just keep taking the people I love. I mean, c’mon I know you’re not allowed to tell me but I know Angus is soon. Merle not long after that. And then Dav. And then me. Are you gonna be the one to take me? Because wow that feels real morbid.” He chews his bottom lip for a moment. “A-and I know you’ve kept everyone out of the fucking soul soup and that’s great but no amount of time is gonna be enough over there. Not enough for me to have been without them all for half my life. I…I love those stupid bastards. And let me just say, time doesn’t heal all wounds. I’ve been without my Tía for—” he stops and thinks for a moment before shaking his head. “—too fucking long. It has never gotten easier. Mag and Luce went a while ago and I still wake up every single day wishing I could eat some more of his shitty food or drink some nice wine with her while we bitch about our enemy du jour. But I can’t.” He takes a step back from Kravitz, trying very hard to keep his emotions steady; he knows this conversation is important to have. He owes Kravitz this. He tangles his own hands in his hair, gently tugging two fistfuls at the top of his head. Not hard enough to hurt, just enough to pull his own focus. Kravitz says nothing, just watching, letting Taako calm down; he’s long since learned to interrupt Taako when he’s in this state.

After a few moments, Taako releases his hair and nods. “I’m sorry that I’ve been sitting on this for so long it’s just hard. I love you I just hate what you do. Never thought I would.”

“I’m very glad you’re being so open with me. I hate that I cause you so much pain. Of course it isn’t my intention but I hate that. And I hate that you’ve felt that you couldn’t share this with me. I know there’s no fix for this. But I promise you one thing, I will make sure you have all the time you need with everyone else. It’s not easy, burying those you love and being without them for so long.”

Taako steps back towards Kravitz and leans into him, resting his head against Kravitz’s shoulder. “I know RQ’s a big stickler for not giving everyone special treatment though,” he mumbles. “What’s that gonna mean a hundred years after I die? That mean we all go in the soup? And I just never get to see you or Lup or Barry or anyone again? Because a century moves like the blink of an eye and I don’t want to have everything ripped away again. It’s not fair.”

“Actually, the three of us have been discussing just that. We’re approaching Our Lady with a solid proposal in the next few years. Can’t really explain the specifics but it would ensure that the soul soup would be a strictly voluntary venture. And if she doesn’t go for it, Lup’s suggested a strike,” Kravitz says as he wraps a gentle arm around Taako.

“Ah, the ol’ solidarity forever trick. Classic,” Taako lets out a little laugh as he leans in closer to Kravitz. “I’m trying to get better about not bottling up all my weird, shitty emotions. Old habits die hard, though.”

“I commend you for even trying, my love. I promise you this, if there is ever anything I can do to help alleviate anything you’re feeling, please let me know. This is a partnership, after all.” He rests his chin on the top of Taako’s head as Traffic Cone yowls quietly at their feet, certain the food bowl is empty and that she’s destined to starve in the next thirty seconds. She'll be fed in due time, though neither Taako nor Kravitz are itching to break their embrace.

“I love you, Krav.”

“I love you, Taako.”

[terezis]

that blupjeans baby ask for me thinking... how fast would lup and barry get over to see the kid kravitz picked up?

(continued from here)

-

there's a long, drawn out pause.

lup says, "excuse me?" 

taako says, “you're excused.”

lup says, "taako."

"listen, it's not a big deal. krav stole a baby, but now he's got a little bit o' the ol' buyer's remorse, so i figured, you know - "

"that - okay, i have a lot of questions, we'll table those for now - so your first thought was, why don't i just foist this sentient humanoid life onto my sister?"

taako watches kravitz's face shift to from concern to outright panic as the baby starts to stir, fussing noisily in his arms. "going once, going twice -"

"taako, you can't just give someone a baby! where are its actual parents?"

"not here, clearly not important!" taako says. "i know you and barold were talking about adoption a couple months ago, are you saying you don't want it?"

lup is quiet.

"let me call you back," she says, and hangs up.

taako sighs. "give it here, handsome," he says after watching kravitz flounder for a few seconds more. kravitz hands the baby off with no small amount of relief. she immediately settles with a little shiver-yawn that would melt taako's heart if he had even a single paternal bone in his body. as it is, she's still pretty cute. ears too big for her body, little button nose - this baby is the full package. "already picking favorites, huh?" taako says, watching her. "a woman after my own heart."

"i think you're probably just warm," kravitz tells him. taako sticks out his tongue.

-

eventually lup shows up at the apartment, barry in tow. kravitz, sans child, opens the door wide to let them in.

"alright," lup announces. "let me see this baby."

"her name is taako jr.," taako says, "and i'm keeping her, i’ve just decided. sorry! you snooze, you lose." he wiggles his fingers in front of the baby's face. little sparks of magic appear. the baby’s eyes follow with rapt attention as a mote of light dances towards her face, and then just a little too close to her nose.

she sneezes, and then she starts to cry.

"i changed my mind! you can have her," taako says, immediately passing her to lup.

"she's got a set of lungs on her, huh?" lup says. the baby continues to wail. 

barry frowns. "you think she's hungry?"

"well, what's she in the mood for?" taako asks. "i've got some leftover pad thai in the fridge. i've got all the stuff to make a quiche lorraine."

lup gives taako a look. "lucky for you, we picked up baby formula on the way over. barry?"

barry draws a sigil in the air. a rift like a black hole opens in the middle of the living room, and he fishes around in it for a moment before pulling out a little glass jar and a plastic-wrapped package of bottles. "on it," he says, and heads to the kitchen.

taako whistles. "look at you guys go! i would have given up by now. you think you're gonna keep her?”

"you did give up," lup says. "i just watched you. and i don't know, maybe?" she frowns. "i mean, we were talking about adoption, but all we did was talk. you really think me 'n bear are ready to be parents?"

barry returns with a bottle, which lup takes. taako jr. - "we're not calling her that, taako, shut up -" quiets as she begins to feed, and lup feels herself falling a little bit more in love. she looks at barry. barry can't hold back his grin.

"yeah," lup says. "i think we're gonna keep her."

[hannahkoga]

I couldn’t stop thinking about this today

[Image Description: a three panel comic featuring characters from the Adventure Zone. In the first panel, Lup and Barry are standing before the Raven Queen, seated on her massive throne, casting a magnificent light while being shrouded in shadow. She speaks, saying, “My children, I do not seek to hinder your pursuit of knowledge, however, laws must be maintained. Therefore, your ward, Kravitz, shall assist you in maintaining this balance.” The second panel shows Kravitz happily presenting a book to Lup and Barry, who look down at it curiously. The third panel is over both of their shoulders and we see the cover of the book, which reads in cursive, “How to practice Necromancy in a God honoring way” with a black feather at the bottom. End Description]

[podcastwizard]

The Cain Instinct post but its taako and lup

has someone drawn a photo of lup with *laser eyes* about to absolutely obliterate taako with a rock while he’s obliviously drinking a smoothie or did that fan art just manifest in my mind’s eye

[jumpboy-rembrandt]

my friend texted me that he had just finished binging taz balance and i was freaking out bc i didn’t know he had even started it

after a few minutes of gushing back and forth, he said he had to go because he had been driving and pulled over to text me that. i responded that i was surprised he could even see after magnus’s ending. he replied “who said i could? i needed like ten minutes” and like. mood.

[youhearstatic]

I was thinking today how I want some Adventure Zone stickers (specifically things relating to Barry and Lup of course) and got to thinking...

I’d love to have my title graphic for It’s About Time as a sticker. Does anyone have any experience getting stickers printed online? I’d like something that would weather well on a car or a tablet. 

[asimovsideburns]

Taako, kill me

[poppibranchlover]

Here’s a little short comic story I made via inspiration from a comic by @tazdelightful

Hope you enjoy! So here I go with the entire thing! 😄

In this comic, Branch is seated in front of a dinner plate. He is holding up a fork with some food on it, glaring suspiciously. “What is this?” he asks.

Cooper the giraffe Troll is seated across the table from him, next to Poppy. Poppy is also looking suspiciously at the food and watching what Branch did sees. Cooper says, “It’s a magical herb I cultivate in my garden. Eating it frequently helps develop your arcane abilities.”

Arcane abilities? Branch wasn’t so sure about the sound of that. So he sticks the fork in his mouth and felt the taste of it, saying, “It tastes like broccoli.”

Cooper replies, “Weird right? That’s how you know it’s working.”

End of comic. 😄

[herbgerblin]

[ID: Comic consisting of multiple images. First Image is a doodle of Kravitz, the grim reaper, in front of an open rift in space. He is telling Lup and Barry, an elven woman and human man respectively, “Barry’s in charge while I’m away.” Second image is of Lup and Barry, with Lup resting one hand on Barry’s chest and the other poised a the side of her. She says, seductively, “Oh no… the power imbalance… you could order me to do just about anything and… I’d just HAVE to do it.” Third image shows Barry declaring with all seriousness, “ I would NEVER abuse my power or take advantage of you!” to Lup’s surprise. Fourth image is of him looking resolved while Lup kind of pouts. Fifth image is of Edward and Lydia, a pair of elf twins, in their cell in the eternal stockade. Lydia is saying “This is a war crime that we have to witness this,” while Edward repeatedly exclaims, “Make it stop make it stop!” End ID]


Based off of this post by @asimovsideburns and @tazdelightful. I couldn’t resist :3

[keplercryptids]

[image description: a digital illustration of Z’ress Matyl, an NPC, in front of a light yellow block background. They are a thin drow with purplish-gray skin, faint freckles and white hair in thick braids, pulled into a low ponytail. They’re wearing an all-black outfit consisting of armor over a long-sleeve shirt, arm bracers, a loose gray scarf, pants with a thigh holster pouch, kneepads and knee-high boots. There’s a rapier on his hip. He’s resting one hand on the hilt of the rapier, and the other hand is on his other hip. He’s looking into the distance with a relaxed, small smile.]

can’t believe i’ve never shared this piece i commissioned from @tazdelightful​ aaages ago. this is my boi! ex-pirate, current thief, rogue/paladin of my heart.