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Tavern Keeper: Would a Sir Leon please come to the bar?
Leon, arriving at the bar: Hello, is there a problem?
Tavern Keeper, pointing to the knights: I believe they belong to you?
The Knights, simultaneously: We got lost :(
Leon: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-
#bbc merlin#incorrect quotes#sir leon the long suffering#I head canon that Leon spends his free time in the tavern#he needs it to put up with his dumbasses#the knights of the round table
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"Renna... you know I don't want to talk about boys, right?"
#ts2#ts2 medieval#ts2 series#ts2 story#ts2 mcc#ts2 jrpg#kingdom of wildwood#round 1#family: cucco#lahna cucco#family: plowman#renna plowman#family: taverner#pond taverner
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Sexiest Podcast Character — Unscripted Bracket — Round 1
Propaganda
Chunt (Hello from the Magic Tavern):
Since he's a shapeshifter who changes shape into anyone he has sex with after two weeks elapse, you might go "why would I wanna go out with someone who is a constant visual reminder of his last ex" (and also because magic fantasy world, animals are sentient and so he's occasionally animals (in official art he's usually shown as a badger since that was the first shape he had on the show and he also was a badger again later multiple times) and so that could be an issue for non-furries) but! The thing is, don't worry about the shape changing. Don't worry that two weeks after you do it, he'll literally look like you (could be a plus for clone fuckers?) or any of that. What we should focus on is his amazing personality! He is funny, laid back, kind-hearted and honestly, teen me kinda had a crush on him
Talking badger with sex related shapeshifting abilities
Suvirin "Suvi" Kedberiket (Worlds Beyond Number: The Wizard, the Witch, and the Wild One):
(Just started the pod so I'm not 100% on her age yet but I'm pretty sure she's like 20?)
#Round 1#Chunt#Suvirin Kedberiket#Suvi Kedberiket#Hello From The Magic Tavern#Worlds Beyond Number#The Wizard the Witch and the Wild One
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Jean and Mama being best buddies.
#art#artists on tumblr#size difference#tall girl#oc#curvy and cute#cute#funny#drunk#tavern wench#beer wench#belly#fat belly#sexy belly#chubby#fat#belly dancer#confidence#big breasted women#big bootie#big round butt#big juicy ass#big tiddy committee#bbwwoman#friends#strongfat#muscle girls#muscular#belly dancing#tavern
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I-- thank you??!!! for over 10k downloads!!! am honestly at a loss for words....!!!
genuinely thank you so sincerely much to everyone who played, commented, or even donated to A Tavern at Night and/or Travellers Road. it means the world to me. 💖
#shared 10k between A Tavern and TR#if anyone picked up on the subtle reference to TR... i love you. :)#these 2 games canonically take place in the same world#and yes otmund is buying this round lmfao#amare#amare game#visual novel#indie dev#indie game#romance game#dating game#dating sim#vn development#otome game#amare dev#fantasy game#fantasy#otome
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replaying genshin on my alt makes me feel so many new kind of emotions, like yeah sure it's not as amazing and shocking the second time (except Kaeya, still excited about him) but oh my god I can u derstand the fucking lore now. I get the names and places and little details and I can brainrot twice as hard now with the fresh shit in mind
#Dainsleif was 'quite the connoisseur' according to Diluc and that's about drinks. I'm over analysing this#Dain was making his rounds around Mondstadt for a while before settling on the place Kaeya can be found in#but then on Caribert quest Kaeya greeted Daisleif as if presenting for the first time#so that means Kaeya saw Dain and avoided him like the plague at the beginning thus Dain basically having to corner#Kaeya on Caribert quest like I'm having so many thoughts#or maybe he was just looking for the traveler but I'm Kaye pulled so eh#like yeah abyss herald and all that stuff but why the tavern you know?#kaeya alberich
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My Tav: *barges through the gate to Baldur's gate for the first time since the Nautiloid* whERE IS CAZADOR SZARR'S PLACE?
4 hours later, my Tav: *closes the gate to Baldur's gate* I should not have gone to Cazador Szarr's place yet!
The Gazette headline: Local bard bites the dust! What the fuck did they even think?
#the moment I got to the Elfsong tavern my goal was set: put down cazador szarr#little did i know that my level is too low and that I will be fighting without Astarion at the beginning of the fight!#we emerged victorious but at what cost#it took me 4 hours and so many reloads oh my god#before i even devised any tactic?? stoopid!!#and then when he finally died#thanks to laezel#there were still so many enemies to fight!#sleep for 10 round?? really??? ten????? fuck you! reloads.#best fight in the game yet 10/10 i cried#and then!!!! then I let Astarion ascend accidentally!!!!!#i was like hmm will there be a chance to persuade him i thought they said you can persuade him when will i be able to persudaee hiiimmm?#my save games are hilarious tho because I have them named of course#all is good in tavstarion nation now#seamonster plays baldur's gate 3#baldur's gate 3#bg3#baldur's gate 3 spoilers#astarion
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I'm in desperate need for some escapism
#Everything sucks#I just want to like run away to some fantasy worlds and cuddle sheep#I know there are sheep in the real world#But there also my real problems in the real world#And I kinda don't like that#I want to sit in a medieval tavern and just listen to the people telling stories#A round of Dungeons and Dragons with my friends would be great right now#Dungeons and Dragons#medieval#Fantasy
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beat raphael 💪
#crying tho bc he was an excellent villain. rip raphael your melodrama will be missed.#on other news the emperor is not happy with my tav anymore. her little game of pretending to be on his side is up.#although i def did the missions the wrong way round because after that i finally went to his room in the elfsong tavern adn then he#wanted to flirt with me?? after we had an argument and admitted we didn't trust each other?? lol#my party is off to find that dragon next#...i have a feeling im doing all the act 3 missions in a very backwards way#petals plays bg3
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I think it would be insanely funny if after Arthur’s death everyone returns back in time to the place they were the day Merlin arrived in Camelot. But like, everyone thinks they are the only ones who has returned. We see it all from Merlin’s pov, who’s traumatised and wondering why the fuck Arthur is so much sweeter to him this time around and keeps saying ‘thank you’. He wonders why Lancelot shows up earlier, why all of a sudden Gwaine is there three years too early, saying he got hurt in a tavern bawl and needs a physician. He wonders why Leon keeps pretending like he didn’t just accidentally see Merlin do magic. Why Gwen keeps giving him these knowing looks. And why Morgana doesn’t seem as afraid as she used to when she was figuring out that she had magic. Everyone is trying their best to change history for the better, thinking they are alone with this duty... and then one day when uther is dead and they are sitting around the round table, merlin steps forward and is like: ‘I need to confess that I have magic, but also that I have returned from the future.’ And everyone just whips around and is like ‘YOU TOO??!’ And then they realise that they’ve all returned and wasted their time thinking they were alone.
#merthur fanfics#bbc merlin#merthur#merlin#arthur pendragon#merlin emrys#fanfic#gwaine#bbc morgana#uther pendragon#merlin fanfic#merlin fanfic prompt
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Velvet Whispers, Midnight Truths
Azriel x Reader
part 2 -> word count: 5.3k content: [ explicit sexual content, unprotected PIV, az doesn't pull out lol, casual sex, hurt/comfort kinda?, jealousy, friends to lovers, language ] summary: Frustrated by Azriel's apparent indifference towards you, you seek solace in the arms of others. But words exchanged over a family dinner ignite a long-suppressed jealousy. A heated exchange, an unforeseen confrontation, and a passionate encounter follow. author's note: i received this ask a couple of weeks ago and omg i had so much fun writing this, i love drama ✦ . Masterlist . ✦
You liked to think you could handle a lot; political disputes, bloodshed, mountains of paperwork. But this? No, this was simply too much. You were in hysterics when Nesta found you — or rather when Nesta was rounding a corner and you bumped into her with enough force to make even Cassian stumble back.
“(Y/n), do you sincerely believe that that,” she’d gestured between you and the general direction you’d run from, “was ever going to work?” Her words were like a knife to the gut, her tone like grabbing it by the hilt and twisting. How she’d known what you’d seen was beyond you. But it wasn’t lost on her, or anyone else except Azriel apparently; the longing stares out the window down to the training ring, always sitting next to or across from him at the table, the way your scent would change when he’d pop into and out of a room — a dead giveaway of where your mind went when he was around.
So to see him like that — with her… It was a sight that seared itself into your memory. Their lips were locked in a passionate kiss, her fingers threaded through his dark hair. His hands roamed her body with unbridled desire, tracing the curves of her sides, waist, and hips, cupping her breast, and cradling her neck. To say it stung would’ve been the understatement of the millennia.
“It’s just… how he is,” her tone softened when she noticed your wince. “He was obsessed with Morrigan for five hundred years… five hundred, (y/n). I won’t be surprised if he’s set on Elain for five hundred more. What she plans to do, well,” Nesta raised her hands as if to say ‘not my problem.’ Her words were harsh, but you knew they held some truth.
“Maybe you just need to go to a pleasure house and fuck him out of your system,” she’d said plainly, smoothing down your hair as if she were discussing the weather. A pleasure house? They were illegal, but you weren’t naive, you knew they were out there. They were all underground; places you found through a friend of a cousin of a neighbor. Before you could dry your eyes, Nesta pulled a pen out of her pocket and scribbled an address onto your wrist. You didn’t want to know why she’d had it memorized. “Pretend it’s him, or the cute guy at the coffee shop, or whoever honestly. Hell, maybe even think of whoever it is you’re fucking,” she said with a smirk as she wrote. “Whatever you need to do to get over him, do it.”
You spent months in and out of taverns, walking in alone, walking out with a different male each time. It was fun… when they knew what they were doing. It was a wonder; males don’t know what they’re doing even if they have all the time in the world to figure it out. On the nights when there were enough of you for a family dinner at the River House, you didn’t miss how they all tried to scent you subtly, and eventually how Azriel’s shadows crept under the table all the way towards your feet, curling around your ankles as if trying to unravel your secrets. That was one of the many things that had stopped lately, sitting near him. The first night you took Mor’s usual seat, she’d given you a bemused look but said nothing of it. Meanwhile, the windowsill grew colder, both from the changing weather and your prolonged absence.
Your thoughts, however, were as persistent as ever. You didn’t think about him as often these days (Nesta’s advice worked pretty fast, you thought), but that was before he walked into Rhys’s office while you were discussing how to best quell the persistent tensions with Autumn.
It had been a quick in-and-out from him, typical as of late. Azriel strode in, his movements fluid and purposeful. He dropped some papers onto Rhys’s desk, leaning over your shoulder to do so. As he straightened, his right hand briefly rested on your other shoulder, the touch light but noticeable. He gave Rhys a nod and left. The warmth of his touch lingered long after he’d gone.
“We’ll have to speak to Eris again, soon,” he’d said with a barely-there note of urgency as he sifted through Azriel’s report.
“I can go,” you’d volunteered. “I’ve been meaning to go for some honey. Autumn Court honey-”
“-is the best, I know,” he finished with a soft smile. “Listen, I know I don’t need to warn you, but whatever conversation you may have with Eris, it’ll likely be heated. And tense. Things right now aren’t the best after-”
“I know,” it was your turn to say. “I can handle him, Rhysie, don’t you worry,” you teased, using that nickname you knew he’d roll his eyes at. “I’ll leave first thing tomorrow morning.”
The feeling of Azriel’s hand on your shoulder was a brand on your skin.
Not an hour after you’d met with Rhysand, you were standing in the entrance of the pleasure hall Nesta’d told you about all those weeks ago. The kind-looking female at the desk brought out a book of names so you could choose… your companion for the evening. You’d flipped through page after page, your nerves growing with each description you read. None of them were your type to begin with, but to pick and choose from a book felt wrong. You were about to point one out at random when the door opened, and who should walk in but the heir to the Autumn Court himself?
You’d somehow convinced him not to rush out, and to have a chat over coffee. He somehow convinced you that it was meant to be that he walked in right when you were about to make a mistake.
You’d somehow convinced each other it wouldn’t be an entirely terrible and irreversible mistake to get a room at the hotel across the street for a couple of hours.
Then again one night the next week.
And again three days after that.
That was how you found yourself underneath Eris Vanserra now. It was meaningless for both of you, purely physical, but you couldn’t deny the added thrill of finding someone so mutually attractive.
“Gods, you’re so fucking tight,” he groans from behind you, grabbing your hips and pulling you back onto his cock with a force unmatched by any of your tavern trysts. The sound of skin slapping skin fills the room, punctuated by your moans and heated whispers.
Rhysand would be waiting for you to get back. You were supposed to meet with Eris to discuss the logistics of a diplomatic meeting to address inter-court relations. And then there was the family dinner tonight. Almost everyone was home – only Amren was absent, her extended stays in the Summer Court becoming more frequent these days.
“Hurry up and finish, I’ve got places to be,” you tell him over your shoulder, looking his way just as he lands a firm smack on your ass.
“Better places than right here?” he asks. With a particularly hard thrust, you’re thrown off of your forearms with a yelp, face-first into the pillowy sheets.
“I didn’t say that-” You’re cut off by a moan that escapes you when he reaches around and toys with your nipple. “But I’ve got to get back and tell Rhysand that we-”
“Let’s not talk business, please,” he says, a hint of irritation in his voice. “The last thing I want to think about right now is leaving the lands of one tyrant to go back to the lands of another.” You turn your head indignantly at that, ready to defend your High Lord, when he shoves your face back into the mattress, abandoning any pretense of gentleness. Eris’s hands roamed your body, his touch igniting sparks along your skin. Your breath caught as he reached a particularly sensitive spot. You arched into him, pushing aside all thoughts of diplomatic meetings and family dinners.
This? This was simply too good.
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦
For the first time in months, Feyre called for a family dinner at the River House. It was a rare occurrence lately; as soon as someone returned, someone else had to leave. She and Cassian had returned from the Continent this morning, and Azriel and Nesta from Autumn hours ago.
Azriel’s gaze swept across the table, taking in the faces of his family. Rhys sat to his right at the head, one hand intertwined with Feyre’s, the other gently stroking Nyx’s hair as the toddler babbled happily in his high chair. Cassian’s booming voice filled the air, entertaining them with tales of his and Feyre’s adventure, and Mor leaned in, her golden hair catching the candlelight as she listened. Even Nesta, usually with her mask of indifference, couldn’t entirely hide the fond exasperation in her eyes as she watched her mate’s exaggerated retelling.
When his eyes fell on Elain, the tips of his ears reddened slightly. The memory of their encounter all those months ago flashed through his mind. The passion, the nervousness, the realization that followed. He’d handled it poorly. The guilt of touching her so intimately, only to find himself unmoved, still weighed on him. He quickly averted his gaze, hoping no one had noticed his momentary discomfort.
They’d been happily sitting at the table just shy of ten minutes when a realization struck him. The chair diagonal to his remained suspiciously empty. He cleared his throat, taking a sip of water to cover his sudden unease. “Where’s (y/n)?” he asked, his tone carefully neutral. “I thought we were all home tonight?”
“She’s probably with Jasper,” Cassian said offhandedly, sawing into his steak with perhaps more force than was necessary. Azriel’s grip on his fork tightened imperceptibly.
Feyre shook her head, a slight frown creasing her brow. “Jasper? No, that ended forever ago. Last I heard, she was seeing Ares.”
“Ares?” Nesta’s eyebrows shot up. “I could’ve sworn I saw her with Roan a couple of weeks ago.”
“Before Ares,” Feyre clarified, exchanging a knowing look with her sister.
Mor leaned in, unable to hide her curiosity. “Wait, wasn’t there a Soran at some point too?”
He tried to maintain his composure, but it grated on his nerves. His jaw clenched tighter with each name mentioned, his grip on his fork becoming white-knuckled. The metal bent under the pressure of his fingers, and his shadows whirled around him, betraying the storm of emotions the words had unleashed.
Elain’s soft voice cut through the chatter. “It’s been Eris a few times now.”
The table fell silent, all eyes snapping to Elain. She paused, her glass of wine halfway to her lips, suddenly aware of the weight of her words.
“Lucien mentioned something about it,” she murmured, before taking a rather large sip.
Something inside Azriel snapped. He slammed the bent fork onto the table with enough force to rattle the dishes, the sound cutting through the stunned silence. Without a word, he abruptly stood, his chair scraping loudly against the floor.
Ignoring the concerned looks and half-formed questions from his family, he strode out of the dining room. His shadows darted around him, agitated and dark.
Outside, he took a deep breath of the cool night air, trying to calm the storm raging inside him. But he couldn’t; not until he knew where she was. His shadows slipped from him, spreading out into the night, searching for her. He clenched his jaw, the thought of them, of her with him, branded into his mind. With a low growl of frustration, Azriel let his shadows envelop him completely.
Azriel sat at the small, dimly lit cafe, the steam rising from the untouched cup of coffee in front of him. He didn’t need it, not really. The caffeine wouldn’t do anything to calm him, but it gave him something to do with his hands. He settled into a corner seat, his shadows swirling restlessly around his feet as he waited. He stared out the window, his eyes trained on the hotel’s entrance, but his mind was elsewhere. The fury simmered beneath his skin, an itch he couldn’t scratch, and it made him feel restless.
But why was he so mad?
They weren’t together. They’d never been together. She was free to do whatever she pleased, with whoever she pleased. He’d never allowed himself to think of her that way — she was beautiful, yes, but he had never looked at her and felt that familiar tug of desire that he’d experienced with others. She was more than that… It was different.
He scowled, leaning back in his chair as the thought sank in. If that was true, if he’d never seen her in that light, then why did the thought of her with Eris make his blood boil? What was it about seeing her with that arrogant piece of shit that had twisted something deep inside him?
His jaw tightened. Maybe it wasn’t just about Eris. Maybe it was about her.
The realization hit him like a punch to the gut.
Azriel’s grip tightened around the coffee cup, the ceramic warm against his palm as he watched the entrance of the hotel from the cafe. It wasn’t long before he saw Eris stride out, pausing briefly to glance around as he adjusted the cuff of his sleeve. Azriel scoffed, imagining all the things he’d love to do to that self-satisfied prick. The idea of wiping that smug look off Eris’s face brought a twisted sense of satisfaction.
But then, his breath caught in his throat as you stepped out of the hotel, turning to walk in the opposite direction, towards the River House. Azriel’s jaw clenched. Were you planning on showing up and pretending nothing had happened?
He let out a slow, measured breath, willing the fury to simmer down as he pushed away from the table. Keeping a safe distance, he followed you through the darkened streets, his shadows drifting ahead to ensure your path was clear. He told himself it was just to make sure you got back safe. That was all.
But the anger, the confusion, the gnawing sense of something he couldn’t quite name — it lingered, gnawing at him with every step he took.
As you neared the house, Azriel’s pace slowed, his footsteps nearly silent as he watched you walk the final block. The moment you turned the corner, his form dissolved into shadows, and he winnowed back into the house, appearing in the dining room with a gust of displaced air.
“Az, where the hell did you–” Cassian started, but Azriel cut him off with a cold glare.
“Shut up and eat.”
“Az?” Feyre’s voice held a note of concern. “You–”
“I said sh–” he stopped himself when he looked up and realized who’d spoken. “Eat.” Azriel’s tone was softer but still left no room for argument as he dropped into his seat, his jaw clenched tight. The others exchanged uneasy glances, but after a brief, tense pause, the conversation resumed. It was quieter at first, voices subdued as they cautiously picked up where they’d left off, but soon enough, the normal rhythm returned.
Minutes later, the door creaked open, and you walked in, your presence instantly drawing the room’s attention. You hung up your coat, smoothing down your hair as you made your way to the table. But as you sat, the scent slammed into him, unmistakable — Eris. It was all over you, clinging to your skin, and your clothes, filling the room with the unmistakable evidence of your encounter.
Azriel’s fists clenched under the table, though his face remained neutral. To his left, Elain’s lips curved into a small, knowing smirk, her gaze flicking between you and Azriel. She had noticed the shift in him, the way his entire demeanor had changed the moment she casually mentioned who you’d been spending time with lately. And now, with the proof of it hanging in the air like a challenge, she could see through his cool facade, the turmoil beneath it. But Azriel said nothing, just stared down at his plate.
The table was silent as you ate, the tension thickening with every passing moment. Azriel’s gaze was fixed on you, his patience wearing thin. When it became clear that you had no intention of bringing up the unmistakable smell that lingered around you, he couldn’t hold back any longer.
“Why do you smell like Eris?” His voice cut through the silence with a directness that left no room for misinterpretation.
You looked up, eyes wide with surprise at the bluntness of his question. The room seemed to hold its breath, waiting for your response.
Azriel stayed deathly still, back straight against the seat. “You knew someone was going to ask. His stench is all over you — you reek of him. So why?”
You raised an eyebrow, your expression one of calm defiance. “I think you’re old enough to have had that conversation with someone else already.” Out of the corner of your eye, you caught a glimpse of Rhysand summoning a bottle of liquor from the cabinet.
A murmur rippled through the room. Elain’s eyes widened in delighted surprise, while Feyre’s face twitched, clearly uncomfortable. But a smirk played on Nesta’s lips, amused by the scene unfolding before her.
Azriel’s eyes narrowed slightly, but he didn’t look away from you. His jaw clenched, and the intensity in his gaze was unmistakable. “You know, most people would have the decency to keep their affairs private.”
Your lips curled into a sardonic smile. “And some people think it’s their job to play moral watchdog. How very… quaint.”
Mor, now holding the bottle of liquor and pouring, raised an eyebrow at the exchange but made no move to intervene, clearly interested in the outcome.
Azriel’s nostrils flared, his irritation evident. “Quaint? Is that what you call it when someone’s reckless behavior affects everyone around them?”
You leaned forward, your voice icy. “How is what I choose to do with my time affecting everyone else? And who’s being reckless here? I’m not the one who’s turned this dinner into a circus.”
Nesta’s smirk widened slightly, her eyes gleaming with a mix of satisfaction and anticipation. The room’s atmosphere grew thicker, tension palpable as both of you held your ground, eyes locked on each other.
“Can we take this somewhere else?” Azriel’s voice was edged with frustration. It was unlike him to let his composure slip.
You shook your head, a glint of challenge in your smile. “No, you’ve already brought it up. Go ahead.”
His voice dropped, carrying a hard edge. “I don’t think you should be with him.”
Your gaze hardened, your tone sharp. “Not that it’s any of your concern, but I’m not ‘with’ him.”
Azriel’s eyes flashed. “I don’t think you should be fucking him then!”
You met his challenge head-on. “And who are you to decide who I fuck?”
His frustration boiled over, his fists clenched at his sides. “I’m–” He started, but the words faltered on his lips. The reality of the situation hit him hard, and he realized he had no right to be this worked up. With a ragged breath, he abruptly stood from the table, circling it to your seat. Without another word, Azriel grabbed your arm with a firm grip and began to drag you towards the door. Your eyes widened in surprise, but you didn’t resist. The room’s atmosphere had shifted, the air charged with an electric tension. Azriel’s grip on your arm was firm but not harsh, leading you toward a quieter corner of the house.
He guided you into a dimly lit hallway, far from the prying eyes of your family. As soon as the hall door clicked shut behind you, the space seemed to close in. Azriel’s breath was uneven, his eyes locked onto yours with an intensity that spoke of more than just frustration.
“I don’t know what the hell I’m doing,” he muttered, his voice low and rough. “I just… I can’t stand the thought of you with him.”
You stepped closer, your voice equally low but steady. “And what does that matter to you? You’ve never been one to concern yourself with me.”
Azriel’s gaze softened. “That’s not true. I’ve always cared about you. And thinking about you with him… it drives me mad.”
You arched an eyebrow. “Didn’t seem like you were too concerned when you were feeling up Elain.”
Azriel’s expression shifted, guilt and frustration clouding his features. “That’s not fair. Things are complicated, you know that. It wasn’t about not caring for you.”
Your eyes narrowed. “Then what was it about? Because to me, it seemed like you were perfectly fine ignoring me.”
Azriel’s jaw tightened, but his voice was steady. “I never ignored you, (y/n),” he said, his touch firm yet gentle as he lifted your chin to meet his gaze. “I may have been spending more time with Elain, but I never ignored you. Her and I already spoke, forever ago, a few days after it happened, actually. It was a mistake. One I deeply regret.”
You shook your head, the hurt evident in your eyes. “Words are easy, Azriel. Actions–”
“–actions were a mess, I know.” He cut you off, stepping closer. “But I’m trying. I’ve been trying.”
You searched his face, conflicted emotions warring within you. “And yet, here we are, you feeling the need to interfere in my life.”
Azriel’s gaze held yours, earnest and intense. “Because I care about you, just as much as you care about me, if not more.” You had to suppress an eye roll at that. If only he knew. “Knowing you’re with him… I can’t help but feel it’s not right.”
A heavy silence fell between you, the unspoken words hanging in the air. Before you could break it, Azriel closed the distance between you, his lips crashing against yours in a fierce, hungry kiss. It was raw, demanding, and full of the emotions that had been simmering beneath the surface all this time. You responded in kind, your hands finding their way to his shoulders, pulling him closer. The world outside seemed to fade away. In the quiet darkness of the hallway, your bodies pressed together, the tension from your confrontation fueling a different kind of intensity.
Azriel’s hands roamed over your body with a desperate need, as if he was trying to erase the anger and frustration from earlier, trying to replace the scent tinging your usual honey and lavender with night-chilled mist and cedar. He pushed you against the wall, the cool surface a stark contrast to the heat of his touch. His fingers tangled in your hair, pulling you closer as his kiss grew more insistent.
You gasped against his lips, your body responding to his touch with desire and need. Your hands traveled down to the hem of his winter sweater, fingers curling around the fabric as you tugged it upwards, needing to feel more of him, needing to touch the skin beneath. Azriel didn’t hesitate; he broke the kiss just long enough to yank it over his head, discarding it to the side before his mouth was on yours again, more demanding, more fervent.
You let your hands explore the expanse of his chest, feeling the lines of hard muscle, the cool touch of his skin a contrast to the searing heat between you. Every caress, every brush of his lips, was fueled by the unspoken tension that had been simmering inside of you for so long. Though the thought of this wasn’t on your radar an hour ago, it felt as though this moment had been inevitable, the collision of anger and passion combusting into something neither of you could resist.
Azriel’s hands slid beneath your shirt, his touch sending shivers down your spine as he lifted the fabric, fingers trailing over your skin, up to your waist, his touch tender yet possessive. With a swift motion, he pulled your shirt over your head and then his lips were on your neck trailing heated kisses down to your collarbone.
“Is this what you wanted?” he murmured against your skin, his breath hot and heavy, every word laced with the same intensity that had sparked this fire between you. “Is this what you were trying to find with those miserable fucks?” He nipped at your shoulder, his teeth grazing the delicate skin before soothing it with a kiss.
You could only nod, words failing you as the need in your body overpowered everything else. You wanted this — wanted him — and there was no space for hesitation. Your hands gripped his shoulders tighter as he pressed you more firmly against the wall, his hips grinding against yours in a way that made you gasp again.
Azriel’s eyes met yours, dark and filled with a mixture of desire and something more — something deeper. For a brief moment, everything paused, the air thick with unspoken emotions that hung between you. Then, as if some unspoken agreement had been reached, his lips found yours again, and all the pent-up tension spilled over. He pressed his hands firmly against your hips, his grip possessive as he lifted you effortlessly from the floor. With a deliberate stride, he carried you towards the guest bedroom he was staying in, his lips meeting yours once again. His lips burned against yours as he carried you down the hall, his pace steady but urgent. The guest bedroom door swung open with a firm push, and he set you down gently on the edge of the bed. The room, dimly lit by the soft glow of a bedside lamp, seemed to pulse with the intensity of the moment.
He loomed over you, his hands still gripping your hips, his breaths deep as he took in the sight of you sprawled before him. His gaze roamed hungrily over your body, a smoldering look in his eyes that made your pulse quicken. His fingers traced the curve of your waist as he leaned in to press open-mouthed kisses along your collarbone and down to the swell of your breasts. He reached beneath you, his fingers finding the clasp of your bra. You arched your back, offering him better access. With a skilled movement, he undid the clasp and slid the garment off your shoulders. His gaze lingered on your exposed skin, filled with an intense, appreciative heat.
His hands roamed eagerly, exploring every inch of your exposed skin. He paused momentarily to meet your eyes, the burning desire in his gaze mirrored your own. “Tell me what you want,” he rasped, his breath hot against your ear. “Tell me how to make you feel everything you need.”
You pulled him down for another searing kiss, your fingers threading through his hair as you whispered against his lips, “Just touch me, Azriel.”
His response was immediate. He moved with a practiced grace, undressing you with urgency. Azriel took a moment to appreciate the view, his gaze dark and intense with a mixture of hunger and reverence. He shifted position, his hands exploring the newly exposed expanse of your skin. His lips followed, trailing fiery kisses down your torso, savoring every inch of you. He took his time, lingering over the most sensitive spots, teasing and testing to see what made you shiver and gasp.
He knelt between your legs, his breath warm against your inner thighs as he leaned in to kiss the sensitive skin. His tongue flicked out, teasing and exploring with a skill that made you writhe beneath him. The sensation was overwhelming, each stroke and flick sending waves of pleasure through you. His hands were steady and reassuring as he guided you through the rising tide of your desire.
The room was filled with the sounds of your shared desire — the soft rustle of sheets, the breathy gasps of pleasure, and the occasional low groan of satisfaction. Azriel’s touch was relentless and precise, each movement meant to drive you closer to the edge.
When he finally positioned himself above you, there was a moment of intense eye contact, his gaze fierce and protective, as if etching every detail of your expression into his mind.
As you reached for him, your fingers tracing the torso you’d pleasured yourself to the thought of countless times, Azriel gently took your hand in his. His voice was low and firm, filled with a mixture of resolve and tenderness. “Not tonight,” he murmured, his breath warm against your ear. “Tonight, I want to take care of you. We can worry about everything else another time.”
With that, he shifted his focus entirely to you, his hands and lips working in concert to bring you to the brink of pleasure. His body melded with yours, the sensation overwhelming, and you gasped at the sudden fullness, every inch of him filling you in a way that was electrifying and profoundly intimate. Azriel’s movements were rhythmic and purposeful, each thrust making your breath hitch.
“Azriel,” you breathed, your voice trembling with need. “I’ve wanted you so badly.”
His gaze softened, his hands tightening their grip on your hips. “I’m here,” he murmured, his breath warm against your ear. “And I’m not going anywhere.”
You could feel the tension coiling tighter inside you, each thrust driving you further into a state of heightened arousal. Azriel’s movements were perfectly curated to push you closer and closer to the edge. His hands and lips explored your body with a dedication that made your pulse race, his touch alternating between gentle caresses and firm grips.
His lips traveled from your ear to your neck, his kisses lingering and teasing, each one sending a fresh wave of pleasure coursing through you. You arched against him, your body instinctively seeking more, craving the deep connection he was giving you.
“You feel amazing,” Azriel murmured, his voice low and filled with awe. “Every part of you. I can’t get enough.”
You managed a breathless moan, your fingers gripping the sheets as you writhed beneath him. “Don’t stop,” you gasped. “Please, don’t stop.”
Azriel’s response was a low, rumbling growl of approval. His rhythm never faltered, he was relentless in his devotion, ensuring that every inch of you was covered in his touch, every gasp and shiver met with a responsive stroke. The pressure within you continued to build, the pleasure intensifying with every passing second. Azriel’s hands traced patterns on your skin, his fingers brushing against the most sensitive spots with a skill that made you tremble.
When you were on the verge of losing control, Azriel’s lips found yours once more, his kiss deep and passionate. His movements matched the fervor of the kiss, driving into you with a rhythm that left you gasping and clutching at him. You felt a wave of overwhelming pleasure wash over you. Azriel’s movements became more urgent, his breaths coming in ragged bursts as he drove you to the brink. You clung to him, your body arching and trembling as the climax hit with a powerful intensity.
He followed you into the release, his body shuddering with his own pleasure as he held you close, his grip firm and reassuring. The world seemed to dissolve around you, leaving only the shared warmth and satisfaction of your intimate connection.
Azriel looked down at you with a teasing grin. “You know, we might want to wash up.”
You laughed, catching his playful tone. “Yeah, we probably shouldn’t head back downstairs like this.”
He leaned closer, his grin widening as he scented the air near you. “No, they’ll be able to tell we’ve been at it. You’ve still got some Autumn on you and I’m going to be the one to scrub it off.”
#acotar#azriel#azriel acotar#azriel x reader#acotar fanfic#acotar smut#azriel x reader smut#azriel smut#acotar reader insert
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But Lars won't be small for too much longer! It's time for a birthday party!
LOCKE: "Maaaaaaaa why'd we have to invite Pond Taverner?!"
POND: "Exqueeze moi, I was not invited, I invited myself!"
NINA: "Boys, it's your brother's special day, knock it off."
...There are enough children in this house that Nina occasionally forgets which of them are hers.
#ts2#ts2 medieval#ts2 mcc#ts2 series#ts2 story#ts2 jrpg#kingdom of wildwood#round 1#family: cucco#family: taverner#nina cucco#lars cucco#locke cucco#pond taverner
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An Experiment in Desire
Aemond Targaryen x Female!Reader
Rating: E (EXPLICIT - MINORS DO NOT INTERACT)
Warnings: Explicit sex, takes place in a brothel
Word count: About 2k
Synopsis: You find yourself in a brothel and have an unexpected encounter with the one eyed prince.
Author’s note: So uh... that brothel scene in the last episode really did a number on me,,, this is the filthiest thing I've ever written and I make no apologies thanks @arcielee for the inspo! and also i borrowed this beautiful gif from @aegonx i hope that's okay!!
I do not have a taglist! Instead if you would like to be notified when I post new fics follow my side blog @jo-writes-fanfic and turn your post notifications on! Here's the link to my Aemond Masterlist if you want to check out my other stories! Also my requests are open, please send me some more!!
You weren’t quite sure how you found yourself in this particular predicament. Despite your loud and frequent complaints throughout the night, you had none to voice now.
It was a night out with your friends to celebrate the impending marriage of the loudest of your friend group to the baker’s boy. It was a good match, you were happy for her, she liked him well enough and he would be able to provide for her, which was as much as anyone could ask as smallfolk in King’s Landing.
What you did object to however, was when the group decided that leaving the tavern, after entirely too many rounds of surprisingly strong beer, and heading to a brothel was a good idea.
She had expressed nerves about her wedding night, and some of the others in your party overruled your protests and decided that bringing her to a brothel so she could ‘at least see what it’s all about’ was the perfect idea.
You needed no such education, having laid with a man once before, well the word man was a stretch, it was a couple of years ago and he was a boy not much older than you who worked in the stables of the Red Keep. It wasn’t anything to write home about, but it had been sufficient, and your interest in sex had decreased since then.
Now, you wondered if you had been wrong to not explore other options. The dark rooms were filled with incense, curtains, and moans of ecstacy. Many fornicators weren’t even hidden by curtains, but were completely out in the open for any and all to see.
Your friends gasped and giggled, watching and whispering as a woman on her knees choked on a man’s cock. You were surprised that she seemed to be enjoying it, and it made you wonder if it was something you would enjoy too.
A hand slipped into yours and you let your friends tug you along, this time you bit your lip to withhold your gasp as a man licked and feasted on a woman’s cunt. This was something you knew immediately you would enjoy, as a rush of heat filled you and you felt the desire to not just observe anymore, but to participate.
There was a bit of commotion as a group of loud men filtered into the room and in an effort to get out of their way as the silver haired leader of the group stumbled through yanking back curtains in search for someone- your hand slipped from your friend’s and you were separated from your group.
One of the men in the group slapped your ass, which startled you so much you stumbled back and pressed yourself against a wall in order to get away from the rowdy intruders.
Some of the crowd paused their copulation, to look at the disruption and there were whispers.
“What did you say?” you asked the unclothed woman walking past you.
“That’s the king,” she replied. Then she looked you up and down, an innuendo in her eyes, and held out a beckoning hand to you. It took all your self control not to slip your hand in hers and follow her anywhere.
Instead you politely declined with a small shake of your head, and she shrugged and continued on. You stuck to your post guarding the wall, and wondered where your friends had drifted off to.
You decided you should wander into one of the adjoining rooms to find them, when a man stomped out of the enclosed curtained area the king and his man had gone into.
The man was completely nude, that was the first thing you noticed. It was difficult not to notice. He was difficult not to notice. He looked like a carved statue, long hard planes of muscle everywhere on his tall form. Long flowing silver hair and an eye of sapphire also caught your eye.
You heard him mutter something to the king, “One whore is as good as another.” The king laughed, but Prince Aemond seemed to shake with anger.
His presence was intoxicating and you couldn’t look away, especially not when he noticed your attention, and looked directly at you.
You suddenly forgot how to breathe, how to stand, how to blink as he pinned you within his intense gaze. He stopped his stride as he approached you, standing closer than would ever be considered appropriate for a stranger, and looked you up and down.
You resisted the urge to squirm as the nude prince dragged his gaze up your body and made you feel laid bare.
He held a hand out to you, “Come with me.”
Your pulse jumped and your hand itched to slip into his.
“My prince, I am not a whore. I am here with friends…”
He pursed his lips, “Even better. And you appear to be alone. Will you come with me or not?”
His voice was rough with an unnamed emotion and you wanted to please him, to be the reason for relief from his torment, and you threw all caution to the wind.
You placed your hand in his, his callouses scraping against your own, and you shivered as he brought your hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to your knuckles, as if you were a proper lady and not the bastard daughter of a blacksmith. As if this were a courtship, not a fuck between strangers in a brothel.
He then slipped his hand across your back and down to your waist and led you out of the large room filled with others. You were quiet, but the same could not be said of the pounding of your heart as a prince of the realm led you to a room with a door.
“What is your name?” he asked as he shut the door behind him, sealing the two of you alone in a small room with only a desk and chair within it.
You answered and when he murmured your name back to you, your breath caught in your throat.
“My Prince,” you breathed out as he took a step towards you.
“Aemond,” he corrected.
“Aemond, this is out of character for me, I-“
He raised his brow at you, and you acted rashly, fearing you were losing him, this opportunity, and decided not to talk anymore, and practically threw yourself at him.
He groaned as his lips met yours, and as he stepped forward to meet you, your bodies collided and he guided you back a few steps until your back hit the wall.
His tongue was inside your mouth and it was better than any kiss you’d ever had. He moved it with expertise that made your clit throb and you wondered if he would indeed want to use that tongue in other places.
You realized there was nothing preventing you from touching him, not a single scrap of clothing, and so you let your hands explore. Down from his muscled chest, to his toned abs, lower…
Aemond gasped in your mouth as your hand grazed his now hardening length. Your hand
continued its journey, cupping his balls and he ripped his lips from yours, a wild look in his eye. Before you could blink, he was ripping the clothes off you, baring you completely.
You had half a second of feeling insecure as he took a step back and surveyed your naked form, before the prince murmured, “Perfect.”
His lips and body crashed into you again, your back slamming into the wall, but you didn’t care, didn’t care, didn’t care as his bare skin brushed against yours, as all your curves pressed into his firm muscle, as his cock pressed against you, begging for attention.
And as you reached a hand between your bodies to once again touch him, his lips pulled from
yours and he looked you in the eyes as his hand followed the same journey as your own.
He ran a hand from the side of your throat, down your breast, taking a moment to gently squeeze and fondle which had you gasping. His thumb circled your nipple as your hand gripped his hard
cock.
You both moaned in tandem at the action, and then his hand drifted lower, lower, and lower still, until his large hand cupped your mound and found you soaked beyond belief.
He groaned as those nimble fingers spread your lips and explored your soaked cunt, quickly finding your clit, just as you rubbed your thumb across the sensitive underside of cock.
“Fuck,” you panted as you both pleasured one another with your hands. You gripped and pumped his cock as you stared into his lust blown gaze.
This, you’d never felt so wanted, so attractive, so powerful as when you held a prince
of the realm’s pleasure in your hand.
His fingers drifted, and with a smirk, he plunged two inside you. You gasped, pleasure unlike
any other as your cunt squeezed him.
And you could see that release was barreling towards you both, you knew he could tell the same as he batted your hand from him, yanked his hand out of you, and pressed you back against the wall.
His lips were on you again, consuming you, as he lifted you up, using the leverage of the wall and you followed his lead as you wrapped your legs around his trim waist.
His tongue tangled with your own as he plunged his cock inside you.
His impressive length hit you deeper than you’d ever experienced before and you let out a whine. He chuckled, a cocky sound, and gripped the flesh of your hips tightly as he began thrusting in and out.
You let your head fall back against the wall as you submitted to the waves of pleasure he brought you.
His lips pressed against your throat, his
tongue and teeth, taking turns to make you whine as he continued to thrust inside you, his tempo hard and punishing and rough and everything you needed. You tried to grind down on him, to meet his thrusts, but he growled and gripped you tighter, pressed you harder against the wall, and you submitted control to him completely and let him use you.
One hand tangled in his hair, the other gripped any muscle you could find, as his lips traveled down your throat to your breasts.
As he licked and sucked your nipple, his cock hit the deepest part of you, and his groin ground against your clit, you shattered completely.
You practically screamed his name as you came harder than you’d ever experienced before.
This only encouraged him, and his grip on you tightened, you knew you would have bruises tomorrow, and you clenched down his cock as his thrusts increased in pace and intensity. The unholy squelching sound as he pounded inside you was music to your ears, you had no room to be bashful, not as you felt full, deliciously so.
The frames on the wall shook as he pounded into you, and just as he was about to reach ecstasy, he pulled out of you and put you back on your own two feet.
You watched as the prince touched himself, that large hand gripping his even larger cock, and your cunt throbbed at the sight. He moaned as his come splattered all across your stomach and breasts.
You both watched each other, panting, coming down from unbelievable heights. You looked at his beautiful form and thought he was carved by the gods.
He lifted your head with a finger under your chin, and as you met his gaze once more, and he pressed a swift kiss to your lips.
“Perhaps we’ll meet again,” he murmured. Then he dropped his hand from your face, turned and left the room.
You stood there, alone, completely naked, and covered in a royal come and wondered how you found yourself in this situation, but also hoped it could someday be repeated.
#aemond targaryen#house of the dragon#aemond targaryen x reader#aemond targaryen x you#aemond targaryen x y/n#aemond targaryen x female!reader#hotd#aemond targaryen smut#aemond
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Hi! it's me again! I'd like to request a few genshin men/boys and most of them are my favs like at least like 14 of them😂 fluff please
I wanted to request a Diluc, Razor (it's fine if you don't do him, but I'm pretty sure he's at least 16 or 17) Xiao, Wanderer, Cyno, Al Haitham, Neuvillete, Kinich, Ororon (there's lack of Ororon love) and Dainsleif. I wanted the headcannon to be like:
their friends asking fem!reader: What do you see in him?
reader: he makes me laugh
i wanted to see this kind of headcannon for so long (i hope it's okay if i can request this much character😅)
Headcanon: He Makes Me Laugh
Diluc
At a cozy café in Mondstadt, you and your friends sit around a small table, sharing stories over steaming cups of tea. One of your friends leans in, eyebrows raised. “Diluc? Really? What do you see in him?”
You take a moment to think, a smile creeping onto your face. “He makes me laugh,” you finally reply.
Your friends exchange skeptical glances. “Diluc? The serious, brooding one? How does that even work?”
You lean back in your chair, recalling a recent night at the tavern. Diluc had been tending bar when a customer made a ridiculous drink request. With a straight face, he had leaned over to you and said, “If I serve one more ‘secret drink’ request, I might just invent a potion to erase memories of it.”
You burst into laughter, and he shot you a quick, playful smirk, a hint of mischief dancing in his eyes. The moment had felt electric, a fleeting glimpse of the softer side he rarely showed anyone else.
As you reminisce, you can’t help but grin, feeling warmth in your chest. “He’s got this dry wit that surprises me. You just have to know where to look.”
One friend rolls her eyes. “Okay, I can see it. But how do you get him to show it?”
You shrug playfully. “Maybe he just needs someone to break through the brooding exterior.”
Diluc, standing nearby, overhears your laughter and smirks, catching your eye with a knowing look, as if he appreciates the affection behind your words.
Razor
Your friends are gathered in your room, sprawled on the floor as you all catch up. Suddenly, one of them narrows their eyes and asks, “You’re with Razor? What do you even talk about?”
You can’t help but giggle at the question. “Oh, you have no idea. He makes me laugh!”
Your friends exchange confused looks. “Razor? The one who spends all his time with wolves?”
You nod, recalling a beautiful morning walk you took with him through Wolvendom. “The other day, we were watching the sunrise. He looked at it, wide-eyed, and said, ‘Looks like egg yolk spilled.’ And then he asked, ‘Why do people say ‘crack of dawn’? Dawn don’t break…’”
Your friends burst into laughter, imagining Razor’s serious face juxtaposed with his innocent, childlike observations.
“He’s not trying to be funny, but he has this way of looking at the world that’s just… refreshing,” you explain, a soft smile on your lips as you think about him.
One friend grins, raising an eyebrow. “I mean, I guess if you’re into that… unique perspective.”
Razor, who has been listening from the doorway, looks a bit confused but intrigued. “I like egg yolk. It is good food,” he adds earnestly, causing another round of laughter.
Xiao
In a quiet corner of Liyue Harbor, your friends sit across from you, disbelief painted on their faces. “Xiao?” one asks, incredulous. “But he’s so… intense and brooding! What do you see in him?”
You chuckle, leaning back in your chair. “He makes me laugh,” you respond, shaking your head at their expressions.
Your friends exchange skeptical glances, clearly struggling to understand how someone as serious as Xiao could ever be funny. “Seriously?” one of them challenges. “How?”
You remember a day when you and Xiao were training together on the mountain. As you stumbled over a loose rock, he caught you just in time, and without missing a beat, he said, “Are mortals always this clumsy?”
You had burst out laughing at his deadpan delivery, and for a moment, you saw a flicker of amusement in his eyes. “He doesn’t mean to be funny, but his honesty is refreshing,” you explain, smiling at the memory.
Your friends nod, starting to see your point. “Okay, I can see how that would be amusing.”
Just then, Xiao approaches, overhearing the conversation. He raises an eyebrow. “You laugh a lot around me. Is that good?”
You grin, meeting his gaze. “Absolutely! It’s one of my favorite things about you.”
Xiao looks slightly flustered but turns away, a hint of a smile breaking through his usual stoicism.
Wanderer
Strolling through a quiet clearing with your friends, one of them shoots you a concerned glance. “So… Wanderer? The same guy who’s known for his prickly attitude? What exactly do you see in him?”
You smirk, already used to the question. “He makes me laugh,” you say simply.
They look skeptical, one raising an eyebrow. “Are you sure we’re talking about the same guy?”
You nod, smiling at the memory of a recent encounter. Wanderer had once muttered something about the “absurdity” of people who thought they knew everything about him. He’d followed it up with, “Honestly, they know less about me than that rock does about erosion.” He’d pointed at a boulder, then turned to you, daring you to laugh. But you couldn’t help it—you cracked up, and he’d rolled his eyes, but with the faintest hint of a smile himself.
Your friends seem taken aback. “Wait, Wanderer said that?”
Just then, Wanderer appears, crossing his arms as he approaches. “Are you sharing my profound observations with these mortals?” he asks, feigning annoyance, but there’s a softness in his eyes as he glances at you.
You grin, meeting his gaze. “I can’t help it. You’re just so funny.”
He scoffs, muttering something about “annoying people,” but the faintest smile betrays him, earning a knowing look from your friends.
Cyno
After a long day, you and your friends gather at a cozy teahouse. One of them finally leans in with a curious look. “Cyno, though? Isn’t he a little… intense? What do you see in him?”
A grin spreads across your face as you think of Cyno’s well-meaning, if occasionally dreadful, sense of humor. “He makes me laugh.”
Your friends look surprised, clearly doubtful. “Cyno? Are you sure? He’s the General Mahamatra!”
You laugh at their disbelief. “Yes, that Cyno. Once, he tried to tell me a ‘joke’ about Teyvat’s elemental reactions. ‘Did you know Pyro and Hydro make steam…y results?’” You can’t help but laugh at the memory, and your friends blink at you, processing.
Then one snickers, and another gives in. “Okay, that’s actually—unintentionally funny.”
As if summoned, Cyno appears at the table. “Did I hear mention of… humor?” he asks with utmost seriousness, casting a proud look your way. “I have another one. What did the dendro traveler say to the withering zone?”
You grin knowingly, but your friends glance at each other nervously. “What?” they ask in unison.
“‘Leave it to me,’” Cyno deadpans, straight-faced. You burst out laughing, your friends struggling to hold back their smiles. Cyno raises an eyebrow, satisfied. “See? I told you humor is a valuable asset.”
Alhaitham
Gathered at the Sumeru Library, your friends can’t hide their disbelief. “Alhaitham? What do you even see in him?” one of them exclaims, shaking her head.
You grin, leaning back in your chair. “He makes me laugh.”
“Really? The stoic scholar?” they ask, bewildered.
You reminisce about a quiet evening when you found him deeply engrossed in a book. You had asked, “What’s so interesting?” He glanced up and replied, “The existential dread of characters in fiction is quite entertaining. They can’t even do anything about it.”
His deadpan delivery made you laugh, and he’d raised an eyebrow, confused by your reaction. “You find that funny?” he’d asked, genuinely perplexed, which only made you laugh harder.
Your friends start to nod, clearly amused. “Okay, maybe he has a point there.”
Alhaitham, overhearing your laughter, approaches with an amused glint in his eye. “I see you’re discussing literature. Should I be concerned?”
You shake your head, smiling. “Only if you’re worried about being funny.”
He smirks, unfazed. “Then I have nothing to worry about.”
Neuvillete
In the refined atmosphere of Fontaine’s opera house, your friends question your attachment to Neuvillette, the reserved Chief Justice. “So, what do you see in him?” one friend asks, an eyebrow raised. “Neuvillette’s so… solemn. He barely smiles.”
You chuckle, casting a glance at the grand stage. “But that’s the thing. He makes me laugh when I least expect it.”
Your friends exchange looks, clearly unconvinced. “Really? Neuvillette?”
You nod, remembering a moment from an evening much like this one. Neuvillette had been watching an opera, his typical composed expression in place, when he leaned over and whispered, “I find it curious that, despite its grandeur, this aria is about a fish lamenting her lost pond. Dramatic, isn’t it?” His understated humor and subtle wit had made you stifle a laugh, though he looked pleased with your reaction.
One friend’s eyes widen in surprise. “Wait, he actually jokes? In his own way?”
At that moment, Neuvillette arrives, having overheard the conversation. “I merely observe the world as it is,” he says with a faint, almost invisible smile. “I trust I’ve provided adequate amusement?”
You smile up at him warmly, while your friends look at each other, slowly starting to see his appeal. “Yes,” you reply, reaching for his hand. “You certainly have.”
Kinich
As you and your friends stroll through the bustling markets, one of them nudges you, raising an eyebrow. “So… Kinich? He’s got that cold, intense vibe. What do you see in him?”
You chuckle, picturing the man who, beneath his pragmatic exterior, occasionally revealed a dry, clever humor that caught you off guard. “He makes me laugh,” you reply, smiling.
Your friends blink, visibly unconvinced. “Kinich? The Kinich? The guy who talks like every word is a business contract?”
“Trust me, he’s funnier than you think.” You recall a time when you had teased him about always being so serious. He had given you a mock-stern look and said, “Seriousness is simply efficiency applied to communication. If I were to, say, laugh needlessly, it would be inefficient—unless, of course, you think I’m funny?” His tone had been deadpan, but you had caught the sparkle in his eyes, which only made you laugh harder.
One of your friends scoffs, half amused, half disbelieving. “He’s secretly funny? Now that I have to see.”
Just then, Kinich appears, drawn by the sound of laughter. He stands with his usual composed expression, his gaze steady as he glances at you. “Am I interrupting?” he asks, though his eyes linger on yours with a warmth your friends would never guess at.
“Not at all,” you reply, a mischievous smile on your lips. “We were just talking about how funny you are.”
A single brow arches, and he replies smoothly, “If efficiency in humor is what amuses you, then I suppose I’ve succeeded.”
Your friends stare, open-mouthed, as he gives a faint smile, the smallest show of his affection reserved just for you.
Ororon
Gathered in a quiet grove just outside the bustling village, your friends share stories, each of them glancing at you with barely concealed curiosity. Finally, one of them speaks up. “Ororon? Really? He’s so… unconventional. What do you see in him?”
You smile, looking down at the wildflowers in your hand. “He makes me laugh.”
They seem taken aback, sharing doubtful glances. “Ororon? But he’s so… odd. He even lives out in the woods by himself. Isn’t he a little too eccentric?”
You laugh softly, thinking of all the moments Ororon’s uniqueness had brightened your days. “Maybe. But he’s more observant than anyone I know.” You recount a day spent walking with him through the forest, where he had pointed out a bird with feathers the color of storm clouds and said, with absolute conviction, “Look at him, he’s judging us. Clearly, he’s unimpressed with our lack of feathers.” You’d laughed, and he had given you a small, playful smile.
One friend smirks, shaking their head. “You actually find him funny?”
Before you can answer, Ororon appears, emerging from the trees with his usual easygoing stride. “Are we discussing birds?” he asks, his expression calm as he settles beside you. “I could have sworn I saw a bird earlier that looked particularly snobbish. Perhaps it’s you it dislikes.”
You laugh, reaching for his hand as your friends chuckle, finally starting to understand his strange charm. “Exactly,” you say, giving his hand a squeeze.
Ororon gives a satisfied hum, his eyes meeting yours. “See? Nature understands us well.” And in that moment, your friends see how the quiet humor of this eccentric man makes him so dear to you.
Sitting on a rooftop overlooking the stars, your friends are still trying to wrap their heads around your choice. “Dainsleif? Really? What do you see in him?” one asks skeptically.
Dainsleif
You smile softly, reflecting on your experiences. “He makes me laugh.”
Your friends look puzzled. “But he’s so serious and mysterious!”
You recall a late night when you were stargazing together. He had shared tales of his travels and then abruptly said, “In the end, I find that stars are just like people. Some are bright, some are dim, and some are just… lost.” Then, after a pause, he added with a straight face, “But at least they all shine, even if it’s just for a moment.”
You had burst into laughter at his unexpected metaphor, and he’d turned to you, a hint of confusion in his eyes as he asked, “Is that amusing?”
You nod, a warm smile on your face. “Yes! It’s all about perspective with you.”
Your friends nod, starting to see the appeal. “Okay, that’s a bit poetic.”
Dainsleif, overhearing the conversation, walks over with an amused look. “If my musings provide amusement, then perhaps I should share more.”
You grin. “Please do! We could all use a little more humor.”
.
.
.
Masterlist
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Today’s post is about the Underwoods. This family has been quite fortune so far, but alas… I rolled Constantine would die [#13 ROS, The Unlucky Number]... It makes sense warlocks and witches would get persecuted and as he's also a hydrophobe, I thought it was quite fitting to drown him.
Algernon, the heir to the family tavern, wanted to buy a hot tub and his girlfriend, Lira, wanted to go swimming during a date they went on… That sounded pretty suspicious to me. I just hope they weren’t plotting Constantine’s demise for whatever reason. It’s really sad, as Constantine was just a good warlock, and a scholar. RIP. He died on Tuesday, right before men were supposed to be coming back home from war, which is quite ironic, as I allowed him to stay home where he was supposed to be safer.
I’m guessing the Monses reported a possible warlock in town after they had overheard Algernon’s conversations with Lira, their servant. They wanted to get a good reputation in this new town they moved to.
~*~
Sayed Venditor, the new merchant, was just walking by and since he wanted 3 first dates, and Vivian was quite attracted to him they went on a date.
I flipped a coin 3 times and rolled heads 2 out of 3 times, so I decided she would get pregnant. He’s a merchant, so he can have 4 kids according to the rules of the challenge. I don't think anyone would bother Vivian about who the father of these babies was, as she had just become a widow, so these were likely her late husband’s babies. Also, there are so few men in town because of the war... just who else could these kids be fathered by?
She gave birth to 2 blue-eyed blondes, Gwenllian and Yule (a girl and a boy). They were born on the first Sunday of winter. They all survived, getting great rolls (there was even one 100!).
I only made Vivian eat cheesecake because she wanted to… Plus she did naturally give birth to twins before, so in my view that should increase her chances of having twins, as they probably run in her family. The babies will age up at the beginning of the next round.
Vivian kept rolling the fear of Sayed Venditor becoming a warlock. She must be scared another man will be taken away from her because of witchcraft.
~*~
Cynesige kept painting autonomously and he wanted to max out Creativity. Both twins maxed out Arts&Craft enthusiasm when they were children. One of them might become a full-time artist one day. Their older brother always wanted to do it, but he’s the one that must inherit the tavern. The twins were rolled to be Knowledge (Cynesige) and Family (Wilhelmina). Maybe Cynesige will end up becoming a warlock, like his dad.
~*~
The tavern is now Algernon’s. He earned the Gold Sales Badge. He also managed to increase the rank of the business to rank 10.
Sadly, I have some bug in my game that doesn’t allow teenagers to serve drinks poured from bottles, so Algernon can’t serve his customers at the tavern half of the time.
They started off with 1733$ and they ended up with 6213$, so they earned 4480$.
1344$ - tax.
1000$ - rent.
2344$ (rounded down to 2300$) - to the Royal Treasury (total earned = 127,050$).
448 - tithe, rounded up to 500$ because of the burial fee. The grave hasn't been moved yet and I’m not sure if it will be, considering this was a warlock... The Church has earned 21,300$ so far.
50$ - to the midwife.
They dug up just a bone this round, so no tax on that.
They're left with 3363$. But I'll have to get them some promotion items, or they'll just upgrade the tavern a bit more.
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First Kiss
Mostly fluffy stuff with the best boys. Probably PG-13 at worst.
LA Shanks X FemReader, LA Sanji X FemReader, LA Zoro X FemReader, LA Mihawk X FemReader.
First time doing the whole headcannon bullet format thing. I'm super open to suggestions for more!
Shanks
• He and his crew came into your tavern a few hours ago. They're a pretty rowdy bunch but they're respectful and they tip well, so you don't mind.
• He's a huge flirt the whole time. Crooked little grins, his hand brushing yours whenever you bring him abother drink.
• Calling you "princess" or "sweetheart" and asking when your shift ends.
• Leaning his chair back on two legs so he can get a good look at your ass while you're making your rounds.
• Sweet-talking you into joining him for a few drinks when your shift is over.
• Getting bolder when you decide to flirt back, light touches at your waist and hips, leaning in closer to speak in a more intimate tone.
• Pulls you down by the arm to sit on his lap when you get off work and come back to his table.
• His fingers in your hair and his palm cupping your cheek to pull your face down to his so your foreheads touch.
• Another one of his crooked little grins. "Glad I could talk you into it, princess."
• No hesitation, just rubs the tips of your noses together before his lips brush yours playfully.
• Brief, playful kisses, with soft bites and tugging at your bottom lip, his tongue flicking at your top lip and coxing you to open your mouth.
• Soft little purr or murmur when the kiss gets deeper, his tongue swirling around yours.
• Breaking away very briefly to praise you in a low, playful voice, tucking your hair behind your ear. "Mmm, good girl..."
• Lets you set the pace, but keeps control over everything else.
• No concern at all that you're in public, his hand exploring your body, slipping under your skirt to squeeze your ass and pull you closer, so your legs are straddling his.
• Pushing his hips up against yours, parting his lips from yours with a devilish grin. "We're gonna have a lot of fun tonight, sweetheart."
Sanji
• You asked him for cooking lessons as an excuse to get closer to him and he positively jumped at the opportunity.
• "I promise you're in good hands, my dear."
• Stands behind you to demonstrate cutting techniques, his voice low and intimate in your ear as he leans over you.
• Brushes your hair behind your ear, his knuckles grazing your neck.
• Pulls your hand up to brush his lips to it before helping you grip the knife properly.
• You didn't object to him kissing your hand, so now his lips brush your neck just below your ear.
• "You didn’t just want cooking lessons, did you?"
• Low and playful voice in your ear, pulling the knife away from your hand and lacing his fingers through yours.
• Touching your waist and pulling you gently back against him to close the distance between your bodies.
• Lifting his hand to curl it under your chin, his thumb brushing slow cirles at your cheek as he turns your head to gaze into your eyes.
• Flashes his most charming smile, his forehead touching yours.
• "All you had to do was ask, darling."
• Presses his lips gently to yours, taking the lead.
• Slow and romantic, like he's savoring every second of tasting you.
• Rubbing his hands up and down your waist slowly, breathing deeply and steadily and tugging you closer.
• Hands exploring your body, his touches and caresses gentle and loving, one hand cupping your breast through your shirt and squeezing it lightly.
• Moaning quietly against your lips in response to your moan.
• Parting his lips away with a charming smile.
• "You, my love, have just made me the happiest man in the entirety of the East Blue."
• Spins you around by your hips, lifts you up and places you on the counter beside his cutting board, your thighs spread around him as his lips meet yours again in a deeper, more passionate kiss.
Zoro
• For a few weeks you've noticed him looking your way when he thinks you're not paying attention, but he hasn't said much of anything.
• You get tasked with waking him up from his nap at dinner time, which you don't really like doing because he can get pretty grumpy about it.
• When you reach the hammock, he cracks one eye open. You tell him that dinner is ready.
• Rubbing at his eyes. "Uh-huh...."
• Tucks a hand behind his neck, his eyes scanning over you for a moment.
• Suddenly wraps a hand around your wrist and pulls you up into the hammock with him, on top of him, startling you immensely.
• Keeps a hand tucked behind his neck, his other moving to cup your chin and pull your head down.
• Smirking a little. "I think I'll just skip to dessert."
• Tilts his head a little to capture your lips.
• Leads you into a slow, lazy kiss, his hand trailing down your back...and then back up, pushing under your shirt to graze across your bare skin.
• His rough calloused fingers and palms break you out almost immediately into goosebumps.
• Not shy about cutting straight to the chase, tugging your shirt off and tossing it aside.
• Leaves your lips to trail kisses down the column of your throat, hands moving up your waist, his fingers curling around the cups of your bra.
• A knock the door breaks your lips apart—Luffy shouting at the other side that dinner's on.
• Rolls his eyes and shouts back, "I'll eat later!"
• Looks up at you, his expression lightening into an amused grin.
• "What about you, (y/n)? You gonna go now?"
• When you shake your head no, he chuckles, his grin growing broader.
• "Yeah, I didn't think so. Now..."
• Suddenly, and with ease, he grips your hip and your waist and flips you onto your back in the hammock, reversing your positions.
• Lays one of his hands flat over your stomach, the other trailing his fingers down the side of your neck, pulling your bra strap down your shoulder.
• "Where were we?"
• And his lips crush against yours in a fierce, possessive kiss.
Mihawk
• It's been over a month since he took you under his wing, and the sexual tension between you is so thick you could cut it with a knife.
• But he won't make a damned move, just keeps teasing at it with subtle soft touches, low and intimate words, shared gazes of desire.
• Just today when you and him made port a few hours ago, he stopped you on the docks before you went your separate ways to resupply.
• Moved in close, his yellow eyes boring into yours with their usual intensity, lowered his head until his forehead touched yours.
• Curled a hand in your hair and murmured with his lips barely an inch away from yours:
• "Be careful, my little bird."
• Dropped his gaze briefly to your lips.
• Brushed his thumb gently over your bottom lip...and then parted from you, disappearing down the crowded street.
• He is driving you absolutely insane and you aren't going to be able to hold out much longer before you just throw yourself at him.
• After resupplying you make your way toward the tavern where you agreed to meet...but you're caught from behind by your arms, a pair of strong hands wrapped around them and pulling you down a dark, empty alley.
• You're shoved against a stone wall and turned around...to face Mihawk, his hands still wrapped around your arms.
• He bores his gaze into yours again.
• Doesn't loosen his grip on your arms.
• "You aren't being vigilant. Anyone could have grabbed you."
• Takes a step closer, your bodies nearly touching.
• Lowers his head, his lips so close they brush across yours as he speaks in a low, intimate tone.
• "I'd rather not lose you, little one."
• Holds your gaze with his own for what feels like hours.
• Trails his fingers down your arms slowly, sending a shiver through your whole body.
• Lets his hands linger at your hips.
• Tightens his grip suddenly, taking a swift step forward so your body is pinned between his and the wall completely.
• In the same motion, tilts his head and crushes his lips against yours in a bruising, passionate kiss.
• Finally.
• His kiss is firm and unyeilding, slow and intense, and he has you trembling against the wall in an instant.
• Parts your lips with his tongue, sighing slowly as you meet it with your own.
• Grabs your hands and pins them over your head in a show of pure dominance—your pleasure is completely at his whim.
• Drifts his lips across your cheek and your neck, his breath hot against your ear.
• "We will stay in town tonight. I want you in bed with me before sundown."
• Chuckles lightly when you can do nothing but nod fervently.
• "Such a good little bird."
• Kisses your neck, sucking at the tender skin and leaving behind a small bruise.
• He brushes his lips to the mark once more.
• "In case it wasn’t already clear that you belong to me."
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