#tare time

[tareloin]

women in armor 🫶

[spiders-and-swords]

Detectives on break~

Variations under cut

[tareloin]

congrats disguiser for winning the tos sexyman poll

[nillustre]

facial features headcanons ~

[rocals]

we are cured, we are cured

first time doing calligraphy in months for @tomorrowillbeyou <3

[writhingleviathan]

You guys have no idea how unwell I am for William Afton.

He has put a hex on me ever sense I laid my eye on him. I want to strangle this man and make love to him. This fucking bastard fills the hole from my shit dad and drives me crazy because of it. HOW THE FUCK DOES MY MIND THINK HE'S A GOOD MAN TO BE THE DILF I WANT TO BE LOVED BY, FUCKED, AND WANT TO KILL HIM. WHY?? I HAVE SO MUCH GUILT FOR LIKING HIM IN ANY WAY. IN MY HEAD WHOLE DIFFERENT FNAF STORY BECAUSE OF HIM AND STILL A MONSTER IN IT, BUT I STILL FIND A WAY TO LOVE HIM?? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME.

I just want the golden rabbit for myself. No one else can have him. Even if he is monstrous, I desire him more than anything in the world. In a fuck up wish, I wish he was real so I feel what would it be to have normal desire a real one and maybe he will eat me up like a hungry wolf that merely pretends to be harmless. I would enjoy every part of it.

[rhysnolastname]

[sinceileftyoublog]

Avey Tare Interview: Making Sound And Putting It Together

Photo by Amy Grace

BY JORDAN MAINZER

When you’re listening to Avey Tare solo or even his work with Animal Collective, you’re waiting for that moment: a scream, a jittery melody, chaotic percussion that pans throughout the speakers like ping-pong balls. His latest album, 7s (Domino), has almost none of that. A subdued, reflective affair, 7s was born out of a desire to collaborate. In 2020, Animal Collective had just finished making Time Skiffs remotely, and Dave Portner wanted to channel his creative energy into in-person collaboration. Of course, during the early stages of the pandemic, the inability to (wisely) be in the same room as many others disrupted just about every facet of life, let alone every line of work. Portner, ironically situated in the musical mecca of Asheville, where he’d have a murderer’s row of collaborative choices any other time, felt depressed, and a bit lost. Luckily, he did have Adam McDaniel and Drop of Sun.

Unlike on his past records, Portner went into 7s with very little ideas of how his songs, casually written during 2020, would take shape. During the first week of 2021, he and McDaniel spent three days with achievable goals--a guitar part here, percussion there--and emerged happy even if they only got half done what they set out to do. It’s these initial sketches that inform the aesthetic and ultimate vibe of 7s. The first song Portner had for it was the 9-and-a-half-minute centerpiece “Hey Bog”, originally written to play on his 2019 tour for Cows on Hourglass Pond. Ambient and rubbery, it’s easy to get lost in before strumming and thumping percussion enter, his ethereal, yet outwardly emotive singing combining with the instrumentation to make a sort of New Age acid house. The rest of the songs were sculpted around “Hey Bog”, from the trilling tribute to essential workers and good deeds, “Invisible Darlings”, to the ever-anxious shuffle “Sweeper’s Grin”. Though Portner’s words are devotional and grateful, they’re also extremely uncertain. On “The Musical”, he converses with himself, questioning how he came to be as a musician. The woozy closer “Cloud Stop Rest Start” seems to be one of many moments where he questions humanity’s motives, referring to the impersonal nature of COVID data and inherent, yet unavoidable selfishness of living during a pandemic. “Oh American stranger, is it always like this? Losing things to spikes and the ups and downs?” he sings. 

Those ups and downs, albeit of a different type, have continued ever since for Portner. Of course, live music would return about a year and a half later thanks to an unprecedented, life-saving vaccine, but the still volatile nature of COVID would mean Animal Collective had to cancel their EU/UK tour as recently as last October. Time Skiffs and 7s were released last year and this February to critical acclaim, and Portner still finds time to work with McDaniel. “We’ll...just get together and make something and record,” he told me over the phone from his home last month. “He’s always down.” Portner knows that there will be trials and tribulations, but just like his and Animal Collective’s approach to playing live, it seems as though he’s starting to look at everything--studio albums, careers, life, and everything in between--with a sense of wondrous improvisation and honesty, no matter how messy.

Read my conversation with Portner below, edited for length and clarity. Catch Avey Tare at Sleeping Village tomorrow night. Lipsticism, the solo project of local musician and producer Alana Schachtel, opens.

Since I Left You: Animal Collective finished Time Skiffs remotely, and it led to a creative streak for you at a time when people were working by themselves. What specifically for you led to this period of being prolific?

Dave Portner: When I have time around the house or time off from touring, I try to write songs. It’s a big part of my day, my time in the studio, my work. During the transition from 2020 to 2021 in particular, I was getting more and more depressed about being cut off from collaborating musically with people. It’s such a big part of my life. We had planned to record Time Skiffs together in the studio, and that couldn’t happen. [It] isn’t a bad thing in terms of process, but quarantine and 2020 and the pandemic, having me shut in so much and not able to do anything beyond going outside of my studio, led to a lot of cabin fever. I was craving musical collaboration with somebody.

It worked out that Adam McDaniel, my friend, had this studio called Drop of Sun. We just decided to be really relaxed about it. I had a lot of time around the house, so I started writing these songs. [We blocked] off three days at the beginning of January [2021], because I had to get out of my house and into another musical environment. At that time, Drop of Sun was one nice studio room in his basement, and the whole Drop of Sun team was working on building this new studio, which was done by the time we started the mixing stage. But even starting in his basement, it was nice and crucial to be able to bounce ideas off somebody. I didn’t have a huge game plan, just basic structures of songs I wanted to start working on and see where they would go.

SILY: After this time period of less collaboration or remote collaboration, it seems like the journey from the demos to the finished product was pretty seamless. It that true, or were there bumps in the road?

DP: No, it felt really good. We started with three days, and when they ended, we wished we had more time. We had to do other things here and there. Allowing myself to step away from things and go in every day with a goal of, [for instance, “ finish] this guitar part” or a few ideas I wanted to accomplish, [felt] really good. We started wanting to do more and more. 

At the beginning, I didn’t know what 7s was. It was just me recording some songs. As we got towards the end, I was still working on “Invisible Darlings” and wanted to get that in the fold. I had “Hey Bog” already, which I wrote in 2019 when I had solo shows and wanted to put new songs into the set. I wanted to record that one for a while. Since I knew it would be a centerpiece, or at least on the record, it was a matter of fitting other songs around it. I think that’s why 7s feels like it has one foot in the past and one foot in the present and future. I wanted everything to feel cohesive and not too random; it was just a matter of building it from the bottom up in Drop of Sun. That’s not usually how I do my solo records. Typically, I’m planning them beforehand when I’m off from Animal Collective, and I know what I want to do. This one was created as we went, even though the songs were kind of written.

SILY: Do you think the casual vibe of the recording made its way into the quality of the songs? “Hey Bog” and “Sweeper’s Grin” are relaxed, reflective, melancholy songs. In other words, did the anomaly in process allow the songs to breathe more?

DP: Definitely. Having a lot of time at home to work on stuff and play them, it was a very introspective time. There were melancholy thoughts that went along with that, and there were happy thoughts, joyous thoughts, anger. Music and making and recording music is often a very cathartic process, especially when I’m doing stuff at my home studio. I’m working through a lot. The same is the case with 7s. I [was] working through the emotions when recording and doing the vocal parts. Some of the vocal parts were written and created as I was recording them. It’s really relaxed working with Adam, because we’re good friends, and at the time, there was nobody else around, so we set our own limits and time and let it feel good. “The Musical” and “Invisible Darlings” had a couple different versions we tried, and having the time to not feel rushed about it helped them because we took the time to really find the place for them.

SILY: This all reminds me of when you sing on “Sweeper’s Grin”, “Happy to be carefree / Do tell.” 

DP: It’s kind of a cynical question. Some interpret that as me saying I’m happy to be carefree, but it’s really somebody else saying they’re happy to be carefree, and I’m like, “Oh, really? Do tell.” What’s there to be happy about? The world is crumbling. That’s not my typical worldview or outlook on life, but it comes into my mind sometimes. That side is there, so I want it to be there.

SILY: Is that also why you decided to end the record with “Cloud Stop Rest Start”, a bit more of an uneasy track?

DP: For sure. I also didn’t see that song going anywhere else.

SILY: On “The Musical”, you sing, “I wonder, how is it explained that a person comes into the field of making sound and putting it together.” Was that something you were wondering especially when making 7s? Is that a question you get asked a lot?

DP: I feel like I’ve [lately] been a lot more interested in conversational songwriting. That’s me starting to mess around with that, which isn’t something I’ve done before. I haven’t been so personal about my process of making music and my place in music. Asheville is a musical place. I’m around a lot of musicians, and there’s a lot of history of music with Appalachia, people doing all kinds of stuff. Being in this environment, I have friends that play music for the joy of making music, and they’re not so interested in a record contract. 

There are a lot of people in the music industry frustrated or trying to figure it out for themselves. It’s been a transitional period, which I was feeling at the time. I had a lot of thoughts about Animal Collective and 2020 and the pandemic. It was a big shift for us. This wasn’t an attempt to answer those questions, just saying what’s on my mind.

SILY: Last October, Animal Collective cancelled their European tour. It seemed like a reality check for people not in the music industry, to see this very successful band unable to tour for financial reasons. Do you still sort of feel like you’re in that transitional phase?

DP: There were a lot of factors that went into cancelling that tour. In some ways, the band is always in a transitional phase because there are so many things we want to do alone and together. It gets complicated to map out. There’s a need these days to really map out your future in the music industry, and probably in a lot of other fields of work and life. People need to plan far in advance, which is difficult for us, being so spread apart. There’s a lot of complicated things that go into setting up a tour and getting together to practice. There were a lot more hurdles, the fact that COVID was still peaking pretty hard during the tour, and having gone through cancelling shows because two of the band members got COVID, myself being one of them. The risks were just too high. It wasn’t fully because we were in transition, but beyond that, the music industry is in transition. Musicians need to get on the same plane and same field and work together a bit more. I think we can work through the transition to make tours happen and not have these kind of worries, and make everyone who wants to tour able to tour. There are so many musicians and bands out there that want to tour, and because we’re such a name already and people know us, it’s fairly easy for us to get shows. I feel like stepping back and letting newer musicians [step up] is the right thing to do, to let people have their chance. It’s tough these days.

SILY: Do you think something like the Union of Musicians & Allied Workers is a step in achieving more equitable touring?

DP: I think so. There’s a certain state of being and frame of mind. A lot of musicians have different goals. For some, it’s not all about making money. There are many different reasons to do it. That kind of thing is helpful, but I don’t think you’re going to get everybody on the same page. It’s a little bit more than just getting everybody in the same union.

SILY: You just mentioned that you feel like other industries are also in flux, which reminds me to ask: On “Invisible Darlings”, are you singing about essential workers during the pandemic?

DP: I am, yeah. I’m trying to sing about anybody that would go unnoticed in your regular day. It could be an essential worker. There are people in the music industry that do a lot for a band that take a lot of crap, too, or are overlooked when they make the night go as smoothly as the music does. It’s also about people that do simple, good deeds, like holding the door open for someone else or pick up a fallen bag of groceries.

SILY: Is the album title simply a reference to the number of songs on the album?

DP: It is, but 7 is an important number for me. I wanted to have that energy be part of the record once it seemed like 7 songs is the way to go. I usually run with stuff like that on my solo records and Animal Collective records. 

SILY: What’s the story behind the cover art?

DP: I’m really into collage and trying to take my own visual art in different directions. It’s some sort of landscape, for me, the psychological landscape of the record. You could call it dreamlike, and I’ve referred to it as surreal, even though that’s pretty vague. I’m influenced by the surrealists and [André] Breton’s work.

SILY: Do you think the music on this record is equally influenced by surreal visual artists?

DP: I’m very influenced by visual mediums, film, art that I see that affects me. During the writing and recording of Time Skiffs, I had been reading a lot of surrealist essays, diving deep into the short stories and essays of surrealist writers.

SILY: During recording, do you ever have images projected or displayed to inspire you?

DP: I do. We’ve done that with Animal Collective since Feels. Projections, visual accompaniments. In my own studio, maybe not when recording, but when writing or jamming, I’ll put something from my computer on and let it play. Old cartoons--I was in a real Rocky and Bullwinkle phase. He-Man. Any 50′s/60′s abstract avant-garde stuff. It’s all over the place for me.

SILY: How are you adapting these tracks to a live show as compared to how you’ve adapted past material?

DP: I’m trying to keep the set pretty diverse. I’m playing from all my records. In terms of playing live, I’m never trying to recreate the record. That’s not very interesting to me. A live experience, as a performer, and I hope for the audience, too, should be something different. If you want to listen to the record, you can stay home and listen to the record. There are strengths to [7s], though, that I can’t look past. [I want to keep] pretty true to the vibe of the record. It’s just gonna be me on stage, using sequencers and playing guitar, mostly. I’ll do some acoustic songs. I want it to also feel organic and like a live experience. It’s a balance between finding the strength of the record and feeling like I’m making something as I go.

SILY: What else is next for you and the band?

DP: We’re finishing up a new Animal Collective record. We hope we can put it out this year, but that will depend on our label. I’m finishing the artwork now.

SILY: How did you find the experience scoring The Inspection? Would you do it again in the future?

DP: Definitely. That’s something else we’re trying to wade into more and more and get deep into, being able to do scores and have a reputation  as musicians who would like to do that. The Inspection was a positive step in that direction. It got some good attention. It was tough work. It was a challenge to step out of our Animal Collective comfort zone, which is how doing scores is gonna be. It’s a driving factor in our creative communications: We look for challenges, for things outside of ourselves to instigate a change for us. Having a cool film to score is just what we need in that regard. It’s an added creative outlet for us. [We made] a long format video, ODDSAC, with our friend Danny Perez. We’ve always loved psychedelic, horror, and sci-fi films, which is why The Inspection, [a drama based on a true story,] was [even more of] a challenge.

SILY: Anything you’ve been listening to, watching, or reading lately that’s caught your attention?

DP: Right now, I’m reading a collection of short stories called Terminal Boredom by Izumi Suzuki. I’m a big sci-fi fan. Music-wise, it’s all over the place. I’ve been listening to a lot of stuff from my vinyl collection, a lot of older stuff, since I’ve been working on artwork and [that’s] where my turntable is. I listen to a lot of jazz, Chico Hamilton, Eric Dolphy, Sun Ra. When I’m making visual art, I listen to less cohesive, more improvised stuff to get in that zone. I like the record that Eric Copeland and Josh Diamond made last year, Riders on the Storm. Good electronic grooves. I like a record called Felicita by Anadol. It’s a little more out-there, [an] experimental record. A lot of the bands that I have opening for me on tour, Paradot and Anastasia Coope, have music they’ve just put out or [that’s] coming out that I’ve been listening to a lot. That’s why they’re opening up for me.

[cry-internal]

a little about myself

URL src: eyelid's mouth - soundgarden

title/desc src: now, invisibly - wellwater conspiracy / scumbag blues - them crooked vultures

imagery src: various wwc releases

greetings! call me hunter (he/him). adult, but not old. several different flavours of queer and neurointeresting.

i play bass (alone) and ride bikes, and i'm a cat person. i live rurally in a crumbling union.

i'm an outdoorsy kinda guy too depressed to leave the house. i love to sea fish, but video games are the perfect dose of instant mental stimulation. my current pipedream is to tour & fish the pacific northwest on a bike.

i mostly aim to blog here about soundgarden and related side projects (chiefly hater, HBS and the wellwater conspiracy), but other bands may sneak in from time to time to fill space.

rhythm section fanboy always on the lookout for ben shepherd content

[landossnorriss]

i see you | ln x she.

Pairing: lando x she.

Summary: a new voice appears on the radio to get lando through the end of the hungary race. part 2 here.

Word Count: 1.3k

Warning: we've taken some liberties on whose allowed on the team radio ok? i'm in mourning. this is also my first time writing for f1 or lando so >.>

-------------------------------

the small crackle in his ear was a sure sign that someone was about to patronise him again. for years, for years he had bled for mclaren. he'd turned down calls from horner and the men in red, he'd turned his nose to them every single time and now he finally had a chance to put a closer dent in his gap on the world championship and they just wanted him to give it up. it wasn't fair, oscar couldn't even keep up he was the fastes-

"lan?" the quiet voice that appeared in his ear shocked him, his frown forming in his helmet.

"love? now they're using you to get to me?" he scoffed at the thought, his foot on the throttle a little harder as he made his way around turn 11. fuck the team orders, they couldn't do this to him.

for her part, his girl could feel the guilt eating at her chest. "i think so." she'd wanted to smack will when he had looked at her pleadingly from the garage. "but you tell me right now, if you want this win and i'll fight will for the radio for the rest of the race, i'll be out of here so quick and i'll cut them off, give you the time you need." she offered and lando knew she meant it. his girl was quiet, preferred to stay out of the lime light and would always pick his jolly over the flash cars he had, but when it came down to it she was scrappy.

a small smile appeared on the racers face as he thought about the sight, honestly he hoped she managed to trip will and cause some momentary damage. noting he had gone quiet she let her head drop a little, eyes closing as she tried to imagine was going through his head. "my love...can you look at him in the morning if you don't let him past now?" she asked quietly, ignoring the glares that were surrounding her in the pit wall.

"it's a win baby, i need to prove that i can win on my own after miami and i need...i need those points for the championship."

"so drive, put your throttle down lan, drive and don't stop till the flag if you can live with being that man, but i know you and i love you and i'll love you regardless of what you chose right now but i also know you and this won't be winning on your own merit, this will haunt you my love and he'd do it for you, you know he'd do it for you."

lando paused again, swallowing as he rounded the corner. "you'd love me even if i took the win?"

"even then." and now she was pretty sure will was going to murder her if she ever surrendered this radio, at the very least, andreas was never letting her back in the garage.

"you'll love me more if i give osc the spot back?" he hated how unsure his voice sounded as he asked the question and her heart broke for him over how much she knew he would tare into himself later.

"no lando, my love for you isn't based on what you do in that car, not ever, its the man that comes home to me i care about." chewing on her lip she let her gaze flicker to the monitors. "the pit lane straight is coming up..." the comment hung in the air between them and she watched as it happened, 6 seconds, 5.3 seconds, 4 seconds - lando was letting him past.

"you're my winner lando." she whispered softly into the radio, silently wiping the tear that fell at his act. the look of relief around the pit wall was enough to make her guilt grow even more, at what they had cost lando today, what they had made her do. if they could just get their damn strategies right he wouldn't have been put in this position in the first place, he'd had been free to race as he came out behind oscar but instead she would piece together the pieces they threatened to break again as she took care of him tonight.

"i love you so much." lando urged as he watched oscar fly past him, his heart stopping for a moment before his foot found the throttle again. he didn't want to hear wills voice again, not right now and they could make it through two more laps without his help anyway. "will you stay with me for the rest of the race?" he asked because wins and races could come and go so long as he had her.

her eyes flickered to andreas on the wall from where she knew he was listening, watching as he nodded. "confirmed norris, i'm with you till the end." they didn't say much as he finished his race but she kept the line open with him. if the rest of the world would have something to say about the lovers simply existing together for the next two minutes then let them, she was the only one who saw him sometimes she was sure, the only one who knew what he had just done would be doing to him inside.

the chequered flag came and she checked the screens once more before making the call. "that's p2 baby, p2, you know what to do from here." sliding from her chair she didn't bother to take the head set off as she made her way through the garage and out through the pit lane to where she knew lando would soon be parking. she was easy to spot with the bright yellow merch she wore, forever a lando girl over mclaren and her eyes shiny as she watched her man move to congratulate oscar. it left a bitter taste in her mouth, that the win would be tainted by shitty team orders but she'd get to celebrating with oscar later once she knew her driver was ok.

she continued to chew at her lip as lando removed his helmet, the green eyes she knew so well looking around for her and she let her smile return at the way his shoulder visibly relaxed at the sight of her. lando was slow to move, not wanting to risk any more hate that he already knew he was going to get but there was only one thing he wanted right now. the hands he felt cupping his face, an instant sanctuary for the male. "i see you lan." the soft words that meant more to him than even love would.

leaning forward lando let the gap between them close, his lips find hers softly for a moment. normally she would pull away and scald him, knowing just how many cameras were in this pit lane to capture the moment but he needed her more now than she needed to shrink into the shadows. "i'm so damn proud of you." she whispered against his lips, fingers finding the damp curls at the back of his head and her chest settling now that she could hold him once more.

he'd never been as good with words as she had, always seemingly saying the same thing but he wanted to try, for her. "you mean more to me than all this you know?" he could already hear the people calling his name for media duties and as tempting as it was to just face the fines, grab his girl and vanish, lando knew that it would be better for the team if he saved them face. all the blood he'd lost for them still had to count for something right? taking a final second to lock in her face, lando lent forward for a final singular kiss. "i'll see you in my drivers room." he promised before he stepped away.

with a small nod she moved back, eyes filled with tears once more as he stepped up to take the mike from nico and he demonstrated once more why he was the man she adored. racing could continue to test him all it wanted, but she would be the anchor whilst he weathered any storm for as long as he needed her.

[tareloin]

ANYONE GOING TO MAPLEFEST TMR COME AND SAY HI!!!

[sturnioz]

so what would fb chris do if shy reader was just evidently insecure one day? like he initiates sex and shes like hesitant to take off her clothes and has been like finding ways to cover her face all day because a random girl in one of her classes called her ugly to one of her friends or something?? im just curious

-💐

"aight, 'kay. the fuck is goin' on? huh?" chris breaks away from you, his sharp gaze piercing into yours as he notices your hesitation to reveal your body to him — which you've obviously done countless of times before without any problems. leaning back on his palms on the bed, his chest bare, he gives you a look. "what? c'mon. talk."

you frown softly, your fingers fiddling with the hem of your shirt as you avoid his gaze, the heat rising to your cheeks making you aware of how vulnerable you feel as you finally mutter, "some girl in my class, she.. she just said some mean things."

"what mean things?" chris prompts.

you take a deep breath, the words catching in your throat. "she.. called me ugly," you can't shake the embarrassment for admitting it out loud, but you were hurt. "and her friends, they... they just laughed. they all agreed, i think."

chris stares at you in silence for what seems like eternity, his gaze unwavering as his tongue prods at his cheek, and he tilts his head to the side slightly, squinting as he processes your words.

"so.. you're actin' like this 'cos some girl called you ugly?" chris scoffs. "kid, that's like fuckin' high school drama, a'ight? who gives a fuck if she called you ugly?"

"i do," you find yourself saying, your voice firmer than you expected. "i care."

the words hang in the air, and you catch a flicker of something in his expression, a mix of uncertainty and awkwardness as he continues taring at you. you wish he would look away, that he would shift his focus to something—anything—other than you.

"look, i uh... i get it, yeah?" he finally says, his tone softening a fraction. "but you.. you can't let some random fuckin' girl get under your skin like that, bun. 'kay? 'cos what they say is all fuckin' bullshit anyway."

you blink, surprised. "it is?"

"yeah.." chris nods slowly, scratching his cheek as if trying to find the right words. "you're pretty, bun."

the sudden compliment hangs awkwardly between you, and you can see the tension in his shoulders. it's as if he's uncomfortable by his own words, and he shifts slightly, pulling a face.

but a smile creeps onto yours despite the lingering embarrassment, feeling a warmth spread in your chest. "thank you... that means—"

"no," he snaps, his tone shifting back to its familiar bluntness. "don't get all weird on me, kid. s'not a big deal, yeah? and don't let that get to your head 'cos i'm not sayin' it again. and — and don't get all mushy on me either... shits gross."

[corpsebasil]

Sleepy -> pure Ethan fluff here

Ethan’s best friend likes him more than she’ll admit, and he has a habit of sleeping on her.

Tara caught you the first time it happened.

You were at Ethan and Chad’s dorm, studying for your Econ exam with Tara, when you’d found yourself curled up against Ethan, head in his lap, dozing away from boredom.

“Look how cute.” Tara whispered to Chad, pointing her pen at the two of you. Ethan’s head had fallen back to rest against the wall, his eyes closed as the two of you slept.

The next time was at the Halloween party. This time it was Ethan, exhausted from the alcohol and the noise, that had sat next to you on the couch beside Anika and Mindy. And when his head had moved to lay against your shoulder, his breaths slowing as he found comfort in your presence, you’d had to shush Mindy so she wouldn’t wake him up with her loud gossiping.

Most recently, you’d been found by Chad, curled up together under the covers in Ethan’s bed, his arm slung over your waist as your head burrowed in the space between his neck and shoulder.

No one in your friend group understood why the two of you weren’t together. It made no sense—you were always attached at the hip and, whenever you hung out, you always inevitably seemed to be napping with one another. For Ethan, it was because he was constantly stressed, and with you he could relax, breathing in the scent of your perfume and running tentative hands over your soft skin. For you, it was…

Well, you weren’t entirely sure.

So when you began receiving messages from your friend’s shared group-chat you gave a wary glance to Ethan where he laid curled up in a ball beside you, his head in your lap.

Core Four

Chad: Alright Y/N, spill the tea. What’s going on w you and E?

Chad: That rhymed

Chad: lol

Y/N: nothings going on why?

Tara: surrrre

Tara: *image*

Tara: looks like a whole lot of ‘nothing’

Y/N: stopppp when did you take that??

Chad: what the HELLL 🔥🔥🔥

Y/N: Tara delete that pls

Tara: no I’m making it my lock screen 😏

Chad: I thought I was your lock screen

Mindy: As long as his Ghostface ass stays away from me I don’t care who he naps with. Next subject.

Chad: don’t be boring

Y/N: *left groupchat*

Tara: noooo

You sighed, turning off your phone and chucking it to the end of the bed before running your nails absentmindedly through Ethan’s curls. Truth was, you did like your friend. You just didn’t know how to tell him.

“Y/N.” Ethan grumbled, lifting his head a fraction as he blinked sleepily. “What’s going…on?”

“Hey, Sleepy.” You smiled down at him, then squeaked when he wrapped his arms around your waist and tugged you under the covers next to him, his head moving to rest on your stomach. “E, what the—”

“Just go to sleep, please.” He grumbled, voice drowsy. “Need your…” he trailed off and your face flushed, but you made yourself comfortable, resting a hand against his head as you relaxed, your eyes slowly closing.

-

“Come on.” Tara was urging, watching as you did your makeup and ignored her. “Just get together all ready I’m sick of this.”

“He’s my friend, Tare.” You argued, raising a brow at her in the vanity mirror. “It’s not like that.”

“Really?” She asked, flouncing over. “Because I heard that Chad says he likes you.”

“Chad likes me?” You asked, confused, and Tara rolled her eyes.

“No dumbass. Ethan likes you.”

You blinked at her for a moment before shaking your head.

“I call bullshit.”

“What kind of friends nap together all the time?” She pushed, approaching to crouch on the floor beside you, crossing her arms and resting them on your legs. “I mean—come on. Come on. The boy can’t keep his hands off you.”

“That’s bull—” your phone rang and you both jumped. You reached out but Tara grabbed it first and you yelped, diving for the brunette as she giggled and ran, answering the call.

“Hey Sleepy.” She cooed, reading off Ethan’s contact name. She shot you a wink as your face burned. “What’s—” she paused. Then she looked at you, a curious expression on her face. “Yeah, yeah. She’s here, hold on.” Tara passed you the phone and you snatched it away, heartbeat quickening as you answered.

“Hello?”

“Y/N.” Ethan’s voice met your ear and you tensed. He sounded…sad? Distressed? “Can you come over? Please?”

“Why what happened?” You asked, already standing up. Screw it, you’d take your makeup wipes with you and remove your half-finished look. Tara was watching you, looking a bit worried, as she handed you your purse.

“I don’t know I just…can you just come?”

“Yeah. Yeah, E.” You said, listening to the phone click as you looked to Tara. “What did he say to you?”

“Nothing he—he kind of sounded like…like he was crying or something. All he said was ‘Tara, give me Y/N please.’” She paused. “Is he okay, or—?”

“I don’t know. I’m sorry for leaving. Dunkin in the morning?”

“Yeah. Yeah.”

So you left, going to Ethan’s dorm as fast as you could. You knew Chad was out with Mindy and Anika, and assumed that that’s why Ethan had called. But why did he sound so…upset?

You used your spare key that Ethan had made you to enter, knocking first, then pushed inside. When you got to Ethan’s room you saw him sitting with his head in his hands, but he soon looked up at you. His expression was pained and you felt a stab of anxiety run through you.

“What’s wrong?” You asked, setting your stuff down as you moved to him, sitting down beside your friend.

“I um..” he trailed off, looking at you then away. “this is embarrassing. I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s fine.” You said, reaching out to rub his back. “Tell me what happened.” Baby. You’d almost called him baby at the end of that sentence. You were insanely glad that you hadn’t.

“I have night terrors.” He said after a weighted pause, his eyes shifting to yours. “I cant sleep sometimes. When I’m alone I—I just…I just toss and turn. Everything freaks me out I don’t like to be alone.”

Your eyebrows furrowed as you looked at him.

“Night terrors? About what?”

“Well,” his face turned a shade of pink and he looked away. “well I was trying to go to bed and then I saw you and—” he paused, breath hitching, and you felt your chest tighten. “It’s fine. You’re here now, right? You’re fine.” He seemed to be trying to convince himself, his eyes darting across your face like he wasn’t sure this was real, and something in you cracked.

“Is that why you’re always so tired with me?” You asked, frowning. “Because you cant sleep alone?”

“No.” He said, and you stared at him in confusion, but he cut you off before you could speak. “I sleep with you because I feel…safe with you.” He seemed embarrassed again and glanced down at his hands. “I don’t feel comfortable with anyone else. Not like—not like you..” he sighed and blinked up at the ceiling, seeming to fight back a wince. “Im totally weirding you out right now, aren’t I.”

You watched him for a moment, contemplative, before you kicked off your shoes. He could only stare as you moved to the opposite side of his bed and shoved your shorts off, left in a huge t-shirt curtesy of Ethan himself.

“It’s not weird.” You said, slipping under the covers, and smacked the mattress next to you. He still stared, and you rolled your eyes. “Come on, E. Get in the bed.”

A hesitant laugh left him as he did so, climbing in beside you. It was muscle memory, at this point: your head on his chest, his arm around your waist, pulling you into him. You felt his soft breaths on your hair as you settled, adjusting into the familiarity of his body as you rested.

“You know I care about you, right?” Ethan asked into the darkness, his thumb brushing soft strokes against your waist. “Like..more than anyone.”

You smiled against him.

“Are you saying you have a crush on me, Sleepy?” You teased, and he startled you by instantly saying, “Yeah”.

You sat up a bit, looking at him, and you could’ve sworn his cheeks had gone red. You brushed his hair away from his forehead and ran your fingers across his cheek, your head tilting.

“Then do something about it.” You whispered, feeling his chest rise and fall beneath you, before he lowered his head and pressed his mouth to yours.

-

Core Four

Chad: Y/N?

Chad: Y/N I know you’re getting these messages. I added you back to the groupchat a week ago.

Y/N: what do you want

Chad: my BOY over here says he’s going to his GIRLFRIENDS HOUSE TO WATCH A MOVIE

Chad: WHICH?? GIRLFRIEND???

Tara: WHAT

Mindy: Ew.

Y/N: he has a girlfriend?

Chad: …

Chad: it’s not you??? he just left the house like an hour ago

Y/N: why would you think it’s me??

Chad: BECAUSE

Tara: nooo my fave ship

Mindy: Thank God.

Y/N: *image*

Y/N: idk what movie he was planning on watching because this man is out like a fuckin light

Tara: AHHHHHHHHHHHJOANASKNKSN

Chad: WHAT THE HEEEEEELLLLLL🔥🔥🔥🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅

Mindy: I hate you all.

[persevereforahappyending]

No Man's Land |8|

Pairing: Sam Carpenter x Reader

Summary: Sam can’t help but be drawn to the cute stranger from her gym, even if everything about them makes them the perfect suspect, just when Ghostface has returned.

Warnings: None?

Word Count: 3.1k+

Main Masterlist | Series Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15

You were lying on your back on the floor of Sam’s apartment, one of your arms was tucked under the pillow you had stolen from the couch, propping your head up a bit. You didn’t bother with a blanket; you weren’t going to have a comfortable sleep anyway and not because you were lying on the floor. You didn’t lie when you told Sam the floor was more comfortable, you’ve stayed in a lot of places, having to sleep in the most awkward positions, the floor was always the best. Even at home you had the habit of sleeping on the couch more than in your bed, anytime you laid in the bed you got restless, it was too comfortable.

You were woken up by a floorboard creaking near your head. Your knee came up, knocking into the back of the legs of whoever was standing over you. As they came down you jumped up, grabbing one of their arms to fling them to the side of you. When their back smacked against the floor you swung your other leg over, so you were straddling them as you brought the knife you always had tucked around your ankle to their neck, pinning their hand you already had in your grip above their head in the process.

“Wow,” Chad whispered.

You blinked a few times, fully waking up and finally noticing it was Chad you were on top of.

“I’m sorry,” Chad whispered. He held up his free hand in defense.

You took the knife away from his neck and slowly released his other hand. “Sorry,” you rasped out as you got off of him.

“It was my bad,” Chad sat up. “Should have known to never sneak up on a soldier,” he smiled, trying his best to lighten the mood.

“You got some quick reflexes,” Quinn said in a flirtatious tone. You looked over to see her sitting at the dining table, sipping a cup of coffee.

You huffed out a laugh, but your smile didn’t quite reach your eyes. You got to your feet and held out your hand to help Chad up. “Wanted to ask if you wanted to grab breakfast?” Chad asked.

“Is everyone joining?” you asked.

“If they get up,” Sam mumbled as she came out of the kitchen with her own cup of coffee. Her eyes were half closed as she sat the mug on the dining table. It looked like Sam either wasn’t a morning person or she didn’t get much sleep last night.

“Tara!” Sam called out as she made her way back through the apartment to what you assumed was her sister’s room. “Mindy!” was followed by three loud bangs on the door. “If you want breakfast before class, get moving.

Sam stomped back into the room and plopped herself down in a seat at the dining table. She sipped on her coffee until shuffling from down the hall could be heard then a door opening. “You could try waking us up like a normal person,” Tare mumbled. Tara shuffled her way into the room and dropped down into the seat next to her sister.

“If you want food you need to get dressed now.”

“Why are you rushing us?” Tara reached over and took Sam’s mug out of her hands just as she was bringing it back up to her mouth. Tara took a big gulp, closing her eyes as she swallowed the stolen coffee. “Since when do you care when we leave for class?”

“Since I’m walking you to the campus,” Sam stated, stealing back her coffee with a glare at her sister.

Tara clearly wasn’t intimidated by Sam’s glare because she just rolled her eyes. “Whatever,” she mumbled. Tara slipped back out of the chair and made her way back to her room; you assumed to get ready for the day.

“It’s too early,” Mindy whined as she came out to join all of you. She flopped down on the couch face first, letting out an exaggerated groan in the process.

Anika stumbled into the room next, though she was actually dressed for the day. “Do I smell coffee?” she mumbled with her eyes still closed.

“There’s a pot in the kitchen,” Sam answered. Anika instantly turned on her heel and went right for the kitchen. “You’re free to have some as well,” Sam nodded at you.

“Thank you,” you whispered. You made your way into the kitchen and waited as Anika poured her own mug of coffee only for her to turn around and hand it to you. “Appreciate it,” you nodded. Anika smiled and turned back around to pour the rest of the pot into another mug for herself this time.

You followed Anika back into the living room. Everyone sat in silence as they waited for Mindy and Tara to finish getting ready. You sat yourself down in the chair at the far end of the room so you could see everyone. You glanced around, first your eyes landing on Chad, who was sprawled across the couch again as he turned on the TV and began flipping through channels until he landed on SpongeBob. Anika sat at the dining table with Sam and Quinn, taking small sips of her coffee with her eyes closed, she might have gotten ready quicker than the other girls, but it was clear she was most definitely not a morning person. Quinn continued to sip her coffee and occasionally glanced at you, biting her lip and raising an eyebrow. You tried to ignore her advances and moved your attention to Sam who, besides offering you coffee, was otherwise ignoring your presence.

You and Sam had kissed last night, it was barely a kiss but still a kiss. You weren’t sure what got into you, you had noticed Sam the second she stepped into the gym that first day. You wanted nothing more than to approach her, but your life was a mess, you were a mess, you would bet you were even more of a mess than she thought she was. You wouldn’t deny that her life was crazy but yours was messy and a lot of work. As much as you wanted to continue the kiss you were glad Sam stopped it, you would help her and her friends survive this psycho and then she could maybe move on with her life, she deserved someone better than you anyway.

“Is there anymore coffee?” Tar asked as she and Mindy came back out of the room.

“Nope,” Anika mumbled.

Mindy waltzed right over to her girlfriend and plucked the mug right from in front of her. Mindy brought it to her lips then instantly took it away and looked down into the mug with a frown. She looked at Anika with the same frown. Anika just shrugged. “You snooze you lose,” Anika said before taking the mug back from Mindy then into the kitchen.

“Let’s go,” Sam said, getting up from the table and putting her own empty cup back in the kitchen. “You’re going to be late for class.” You followed behind Sam, intending to put the dirty mug in the sink.

Sam turned around abruptly, nearly bumping into you but you moved your hands, preventing the mug from being knocked to the floor. “Sorry,” Sam mumbled. “Thank you,” she took the dirty mug from you and placed it in the sink next to the others.

You gave her a small smile and stepped back. She clearly wanted to avoid you, and you would respect that. When everyone was ready you followed them out the door and down the street. You didn’t know where they intended to get breakfast, but it was clear Chad had a destination in mind as he led the group.

“Ta-da!” Chad said, gesturing his arms out wide in front of him. Everyone turned their heads to see a food truck, which looked like every other food truck on the street.

“Really?” Tara asked, raising an eyebrow. “You made me get up early for this?” she looked at her sister.

Sam let out a tired sigh and began rubbing her temple as if she were trying to fight off a headache. “He said he knew place,” Sam weakly defended.

Chad let out an offended gasp and turned to the rest of the group. “Trust me,” he said, gesturing at himself. “This truck has the best breakfast burritos.”

While the rest of the group didn’t seem to convinced and mumbled to themselves Chad turned around and stepped in line as he was next. He ordered a breakfast burrito and when he was handed his, you stepped up next. It had been several hours since you ate something and despite not knowing them very long you doubted they would be able to agree on another place before the others had to get to class. You stuck to the basics and ordered one of the egg and sausage breakfast burritos. Once you were handed your burrito it seemed the others relented and got in line as well.

You stepped to the side with Chad and began eating your burrito. As soon as the food hit your mouth you had to do a double take to make sure you were eating what you ordered. It was simple, any place that sold breakfast burritos usually had this type on their menu and yet, the one from this food truck was the best you had ever tasted.

“So,” Chad mumbled with a mouth full of food, nudging you on the shoulder. “Was I right or was I right?”

“This is one hell of a burrito,” you admitted.

Chad eyes lit up at that and he got the widest smile you had ever seen, even despite the bits of egg on the side of his mouth. You just went back to your burrito, not fully sure why Chad was acting like you gave him the best compliment he could receive. Once the others got their burritos everyone continued the walk to Blackmore college, despite leaving early it seemed if you didn’t keep moving everyone would be late for their first class.

Once you got to the campus you and Sam watched everyone walk off, meeting up with Ethan before the group broke apart, each of them going their separate ways. You glanced at Sam, watching as her eyes tracked Tara across the campus and up the steps to the building that you assumed held her first class.

“Do we need to be worried?” you asked. You were great in combat, but you didn’t know what you were getting into, Ghostface was the enemy, but you weren’t sure how this enemy operated.

“No,” Sam said, shaking her head. “It’s the middle of the day, the campus is too crowded, they know not to go anywhere they could get ambushed.”

You nodded. You opened your mouth to say something else when an alarm on your phone went off. “Shit,” you whispered as you pulled out your phone. You sighed as you looked down at the notification, with everything going on you had nearly forgotten about it.

“Something wrong?” Sam turned to you with a furrowed brow.

“I have to go to therapy,” you admitted with an eyeroll. “It’s kind of mandatory.”

“Oh, no problem,” Sam turned to fully face you. “I can go with you, wait in the lobby, no that’s weird, I can wait in a coffee shop nearby.”

You smiled at how adorable Sam got when she rambled. You were used to seeing her at the gym, a pissed off face telling people to not approach her as she worked out. You were enjoying this side of her, maybe getting stabbed wasn’t so bad if you got to see her like this more.

“You can wait in the lobby,” you said, finally deciding to bring an end to her rambling. “If you’re okay with that.”

Sam nodded and you turned and led the way. The two of you walked side by side in silence, you didn’t mind the quiet, but you weren’t sure if you were supposed to make the first move. Sam clearly didn’t want anything to happen between the two of you, which was fine, you weren’t sure if you should tell her it’s fine, if you should address what happened at all, or if you should just go on as if nothing had happened.

“What’s wrong with Quinn and Ethan?” Sam asked out of nowhere.

You looked at her, seeing her still looking ahead. “Besides her relentless flirting?” you asked, making Sam roll her eyes. “She seemed in pain last night when she was headed back to her room.”

“She hooks up with a lot of guys,” Sam dismissed. “I don’t want to know everything she’s into and does with them.” You chuckled at that. “But this isn’t the first time she’s come home like that.”

You let out a hum. “Just a coincidence then, since I hit a Ghostface with the punching bag.”

Sam slowed her movements, as she seemed to process your words. “And Ethan?”

“He was limping when he left last night. Another coincidence since-”

“You cut Ghostface with the knife,” Sam finished your sentence.

You nodded. “Maybe I’m being paranoid,” you shrugged. “But I’ve been trained to see a threat everywhere. Just,” you pulled open the door to the therapists office as you arrived at the building. “Don’t be alone with either of them.

You and Sam sat in the lobby as you waited for your therapist to be ready for you. When it was finally your turn you left Sam in the lobby as you entered Doctor Johnson’s office. “Pleasure to see you again Y/N,” Doctor Johnson said.

“Not like I have a choice,” you said as you plopped yourself down on the couch across from the chair, she always sat in.

Doctor Johnson let out a hum. She clearly wasn’t surprised by your answer, it was the one you gave her every week, the one you had given her ever since you started seeing her. “Are you actually going to talk to me today?”

You shrugged your shoulders as you leaned back against the couch cushions. You had been seeing Doctor Johnson for three months, ever since you got back to town, and yet you had never once actually talked to her. At least not about anything important, you had the habit of avoiding the subject you were actually meant to discuss.

“I can’t clear you if you don’t open up,” Doctor Johnson said softly.

You nodded. “I met a girl,” you said.

Doctor Johnson sighed, once again it wasn’t what you actually needed to discuss with her, but she smiled anyway. You learned quickly that Doctor Johnson was very good at her job, even though you weren’t talking about what made you need to see her, she still did her job, trying to help you and talking to you about what you did tell her.

“That’s great,” Doctor Johnson said. “Where did you meet her?”

“The gym.”

“That’s great, you finally took my advice and started a conversation with someone. You’re opening yourself up, this is good, very good progress,” Doctor Johnson smiled.

“Well, technically I didn’t approach her,” you said slowly.

“She approached you?” Doctor Johnson gave you a nervous smile, clearly afraid of what you might say next.

“Actually, I didn’t talk her until I got stabbed saving her life.”

Doctor Johnson’s mouth fell open but she quickly shook her head and gathered herself again. “I’m sorry?”

“Some psycho in a Ghostface mask was trying to kill her,” you shrugged. “So, I stepped in, saved her life, and now I guess I’m helping protect her sister and friends.”

Doctor Johnson slowly nodded at your words. “Are you sure it’s a good idea to be getting involved in this?”

“You’re the one who wanted me to go out,” you gestured with your hand. “You even suggested meeting someone and now I have.”

Doctor Johnson closed her eyes and seemed to suppress a sigh. “I wanted you to try opening up to someone,” she said slowly. “This isn’t quite what I had in mind.”

You shrugged. “I don’t know,” you whispered. “There’s something special about her,” you smiled to yourself.

You looked up when the timer went off, signaling the end of your session. Doctor Johnson sighed again and closed her notebook. “Congratulations, you’ve successfully avoided talking about the whole reason you’re supposed to be seeing me, again.”

You just smiled and pushed yourself off the couch. “See you next week.”

You had your hand on the door handle when Doctor Johnson’s voice caught your attention again. “I hope you know what you’re doing.” You glanced back at her, your hand still on the door handle. “I also hope you’re not trying to save this girl to compensate for the fact-”

“See you next week, Doctor,” you cut her off, opening the door and walking out before she could say anything else.

You walked into the lobby, trying to shake off what Doctor Johnson was implying, she couldn’t be more wrong, you weren’t trying to compensate for anything. You were helping Sam out because it was the right thing to do, not for any other reason. Helping Sam and her friends was the right thing to do, you had the skills to help them, you couldn’t just stand by and do nothing knowing a psycho was after them, Sam didn’t deserve that.

“Hey,” Sam’s voice came. You shook your head, snapping yourself out of your thoughts. You looked down noticing Sam’s hand was on your arm, and she was no longer sitting in one of the chairs but standing in front of you. “Are you okay?” her eyebrows scrunched up as she searched your face.

“Of course,” you said. “Shall we head back to Blackmore and pick up your sister?”

Sam looked at you for a second longer before nodding. “Sure.” She slowly took her hand off your arm and opened the door to leave to lobby. The walk back was quiet and not the same comfortable quiet that was there when originally going to your appointment. You could feel Sam glancing at you every few seconds, clearly wanting to ask you something but opting not to.

You appreciated Sam not prying. You weren’t sure you’d be able to answer whatever question’s she clearly had. You couldn’t even talk about your problems to the professional who was literally hired to help you with this, you doubted you could talk to the girl from the gym you had been crushing on. The two of you had grown close but for all you knew Sam was only feeling what she was, was because you had saved her life, besides she asked you to stick around and help protect the others, thinking about you in any other way probably wasn’t even on her mind.

Taglist: @thatshyboy1998 @artrizzler19 @btay3115 @acutenobody @godamnityess @luvwanda

[abyssus-aeterna]

姿が悍ましき、隱喩的なる亡き靈の呟き。

知られざる物の氣配ぞ常に根底に在る。

尚又、黃昏の廣々たる中にて、貝殻は

恐怖の物語を紡ぎ、死の色は混じり合ふ。

[Classical transliteration]

Sugata ga ozomasiki, in’yuteki naru naki-tama no tubuyaki. Sirarezaru mono no kefafi zo nesoko ni aru. Nafo-mata, tasogare no firo-firo taru naka nite, kafigara fa Kyoũfu no mono-gatari wo tumugi, si no iro fa maziri-afu.

[Modern transliteration]

Sugata ga ozomashiki, in’yuteki naru naki-tama no tsubuyaki. Shirarezaru mono no kehai zo nesoko ni aru. Nao-mata, tasogare no hiro-biro taru naka nite, kaigara wa Kyōfu no mono-gatari wo tsumugi, shi no iro wa majiri-au.

murmurs of metaphorical ghosts, so ghastly in their likeness:

the presence of that which is unknown is always underlying;

& in the vast midst of twilight, the seashells weave stories,

of horror & of terror, the colour of death bleeds together.