#tapeworm story

[pinnithin-writes]

A Helminthic Romance

Short story about a girl who falls in love with her intestinal parasite, told through entries in the narrator's journal.

[Posting these in short installments in conjunction with the the dates of the journal entries.]

Read on Ao3

May 13

I felt it move inside me this morning.

I was warned of the symptoms. That is, I warned myself with some conscientious online research. Some discomfort is to be expected. Abdominal pain, nausea, vomiting, dizziness, insomnia, malnutrition - I know what I’m getting into. I took the pill in March and anticipated I’d start feeling the effects by now, but I hadn’t expected to feel it move.

I was standing at the coffee pot, measuring grounds into the filter. I only drink it black now, which kind of sucks, but there are fewer steps to making it at least. But I wasn’t doing anything especially exciting, and it chose that moment to stir in my gut.

I’m not sure how to describe it. It lurched, but it’s not big enough to lurch. It squirmed, but it’s not yet long enough to squirm. It just… moved. Like how a human infant will turn its head and stare at movement that fascinates it, uncomprehending but its attention held. That’s what it felt like. I’d done something to catch the worm’s attention, and it raised its head, as much as it was able to, somewhere unseen in my digestive tract. Just a small movement, observing but uncomprehending. 

Much like you can’t give caffeine to a baby, I wondered if I could, in good conscience, give caffeine to a newly born tapeworm. What would that do to it? I don’t want to do anything to hurt it - not this early in its development. I mean, I took it for a reason, and if I killed it before it did its job, or damaged its ability to do its job, then that would kind of defeat the whole point of this experiment.

I got the pill online. It was surprisingly cheap - only 35 dollars. The seller informed me that the egg would hatch inside me and it would take a few months for the tapeworm to reach maturity. As it grew, it would eat everything I ate, growing in size until it was no longer sustainable for it to live inside me. The pill came in a set of two - one to birth the worm and the other to kill it. I’m supposed to take the second pill once I’ve either reached an acceptable weight or the tapeworm becomes too uncomfortable to live with, whichever comes first. 

I’ve thought about naming it, now that I can feel it, but I think that’ll only make it harder to kill once I’ve reached my weight goal. I ended up drinking the coffee. People put coffee grounds in their compost bins and it doesn’t kill their worms, so this shouldn’t be any different.

But I mostly just wanted to stop drinking it black. I took some of Gina’s french vanilla creamer. Who knows, maybe the worm will like it. I know I did.

[the-count-and-the-raven]

Which one of you fuckers did this

HELP THEY USED THAT ONE VIDEO

[willwoodupdates]

New stories!!

[nameless-ghoul-vision]

Wills Instagram story we must congratulate him on becoming grandpa wood

[toms-topic]

[sewercassowary]

My mom: So what kind of music do you listen to these days?

Me: I've been listening to a lot of Will Wood recently! It's like alternative theatrical rock, and a little bit of folk and cabaret, hard to explain, he's pretty good

My mom: Sounds cool I'll check it out (Plays Will Wood on shuffle)

Will Wood from my mom's iPhone 6S speakers: I could suck you dry on the rocks with a twist

[willwooddaily]

So uhhh how we feeling abt this chat

[always-elf666]

Will Wood art for @potato-lord-but-not dtiys, thought I'd post it here as well as on insta lol

So proud of this piece honestly omg

[thefakehedgehogaroundhere]

i need to touch grass

[wilsonhousestan]

My friend invited me to play roblox with them for a bit

I cannot take this game seriously

The voices could not be resisted

@ring0starrlight

[camping-with-monsters]

“I heard the world would turn to hell.

Compared to that, I’m doing well!”

original image reference under cut

[the-count-and-the-raven]

Happy bday ICIMI :D

The link goes to his bigcartel btw

[willwoodupdates]

New Story!

[the-moons-not-haunted-you-are]

y'all remember that bit in White Noise from IN CASE I DIE

yeah maybe he didn't realize it was a bear. maybe he just thought it was a cat that wouldn't tell him its name so he could properly assess the situation

[jonesy-squish]

Things that have been stuck in my head for the past week Jun 13 -Jun 20 (I probably forgot some lol)

Jun 13

•Um,it's kind of alot-Will Wood

•Against the kitchen floor -Will Wood

•White Noise-Will Wood

•Beatpop Girl-a-thon-Talkshow boy

•The monolog from White Noise-Live at The Vermont Hollywood,Los Angeles,CA

•The Healthy song-DHMIS

•The Vending machine song-DHMIS

•Cicada days-Will Wood

•Blood and bones-Blake Robsinson synthetic orchestra

Jun 14

•Cabinet Man-Lemon Demon

•Ruler of everything-Tally hall

•The monolog from White Noise-Live at The Vermont Hollywood,Los Angeles,CA

•I/Me/Myself-Will wood

•Front street live monolog from the Will Wood Barbecue

•Front Street-Will Wood

•Gilded cog-Jamface

•Coitus with regulations-Jamface

•The waluigi hallelujah parody

•Revenge-Captain Sparkles

•Massah Please-Jamface

•The song with 5 names-Will wood and the tapeworms

•The new year new you eddsworld episode

•We are number one-Lazy town

•Story of undertale

•Against the kitchen floor-Will Wood

•6oh5out(pro/con)-Will Wood and the tapeworms

•Zen master-Jamface

•BlackBoxWarrior(okultra)-Will Wood

•Welcome to the black parade-My chemical romance

•Too many cooks

•I'm not ok-My chemical romance

•Akido(Neurotic Erotic)-Will Wood and the tapeworms

•Hand me my shovel I'm going in-Will Wood and the tapeworms

Jun 15

•Against the kitchen floor-Will Wood

•Don't come knocking-Holy locust

•Willard-Will Wood

•Modify-Lemon demon

•The computer song-DHMIS

•White noise-Will wood

•You didn't know-Hazbin Hotel

Jun 16

•The song with 5 names-Will Wood and the tapeworms

•Black hat from Villianous saying my domain

•Another man's grave-Amigo the devil

•As your father I expressly forbid it-Lemon demon

•White Noise live at the Vermont Hollywood-Will Wood

Jun 17

•Taco Tuesday-Ankle grease

•Coffee,god,and cigarettes-Mischeif Brew

•Roundabout-Yes!

Jun 18

•Lunchbox Friends-Melanie Martinez

•Love me normally-Will wood

•Suppertime-Little shop of horrors

•Feed me(Git it!)-Little shop of horrors

Jun 19

•Love,me normally-Will Wood

•Zen master-Jamface

•Coitus with regulations-Jamface

•If I believed-Twisted:The untold story of a royal vizier

•Letter from death row-Amigo the devil

•Another man's grave-Amigo the devil

•Moth to the flame-LuLuYam

•Against the kitchen floor-Will Wood

•Drop for everyhour-Amigo the devil

•Stuff is way-They might be giants

Jun 20

•Everything and More-Twisted:The untold story of a royal vizier

•"Many years ago,i took my finger,pushed in my penis,and it hasn't come out since"-Twisted:The untold story of a royal vizier

•No one remembers Achmed- Twisted:The untold story of a royal vizier

•Massah please-Jamface

•Broadway Joe-Jamface

And a bonus,the song i woke up in my head this morning,Jun 21: White Noise-Will Wood

[tomcatsdisposables]

Me and my friend ordered matching will wood hoodies but the punchline is they're too socially anxious to tell their parents or try to confront the package services themselves so their hoodie is now... somewhere in this plane of existence??

So, um, moral of the story is all the moments you've lost, all the money it cost, all the dreams that you tossed aside, all that you feel is only real if you decide it inside