#tank: the nice old couple at the farmers market

[latenightsleeper]

Fun Tank fact!!

Tank has a lot of ‘ sweet grandchild ‘ energy with a lot of the mom and pops shops around town, if you bring him to a farmers market they will be crowed by older people talking to them like Tank is their own

[immodestmussorgskyy]

you have (1) new message

“I don’t believe in you!”

“I believe in you…”

You can’t help but snort, bursting into a fresh round of giggles. The dialogue in Nightmare on Elm Street is absolutely diabolical-- you struggle to figure out how anybody could consider this a horror movie. But hey… meteoric fame is hard to come by. It’s a cult classic for a reason. 

You’d usually be marathoning classic slasher flicks with your roommate, Chloe, but she’s on a month-long Hawaii dream vacation with her new boyfriend. What happened to bros before hoes? But hey, his wealth is apparently abundant enough to fund weeks of paradise beachside living, so good for her for getting that bread. And anyway, you’re content to sit alone in your little mousehole apartment and melt into the couch after work with a family-size bag of salt & vinegar chips under your arm. 

You watch the flickering screen with mild interest as you chomp down another handful of chips. Freddy Krueger is definitely failing to get you on the edge of your seat. Wiping your hand on your sweatpants, you pick up the remote and turn the movie off. 

“Nightmare, my ass.” you mutter under your breath. 

As much as you’d like to, eating nothing but salt and vinegar chips for dinner seems like a great way to end up with an upset stomach and a lot of regret later tonight. The pantry is well stocked with Chloe’s foods of choice-- organic steel-cut rolled oats, a billion different kinds of nuts and seeds all in cute little labeled mason jars, gluten free bread, a mockery of cheese puffs (chickpea puffs? Come on!). Your side is a library of boxed or canned foods in stark contrast: a couple opened boxes of Pop-Tarts, a few boxes of Kraft mac & cheese, a family sized box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and, the only thing not in a box: another bag of salt & vinegar chips. 

The fridge tells a similar story. Chloe’s avocados, farmer’s market tomatoes, and thick stalks of celery gleam in the vegetable drawer. She’s consumed half the shelf space with just kombucha and a few swanky craft beers. And bottles of oat milk, or soy milk, or some kind of thing pretending to be milk. You actually don’t have much in the fridge besides leftover Indian food from your favorite place downtown and a gallon of milk for your cereal, so you don’t mind her hogging more space. 

Muffy, Chloe’s ragdoll cat, stalks into the kitchen with you and gives you a tiny yowl. You lean down and give her an affectionate scratch behind the ears. 

“Scram, Muffy.” you murmur to her. “I’ve already fed you.” 

She looks up at you with a look that can only mean “and you’ll feed me more.” 

She stalks back into the living room, fluffy beige tail disappearing behind the wall in a flick and a wave. You tie your hair back and yawn. What’s on the menu for dinner tonight? 

Before you can think too much about eating, you remember that Chloe left you a voicemail before she took off. You fish your phone from your pocket and open your voicemail, tapping your toe against the linoleum floor as the dial tone plays. 

You have one new message, chirps the robot voice of your mailbox. 

“Hey girl. I’m boarding soon, so you probably won’t hear from me for a while. Make sure you feed Muffy, water the plants…” she clicks her tongue a few times, “take your meds, and don’t lay in bed for too long on the weekends. You know how that tanks your mood.” 

Chloe might be a total hipster health nut, but it doesn’t make it any less sweet that she frets over you so much. You break into a smile and make a mental note to call her back. 

“And. You can eat anything perishable of mine in the fridge or pantry while I’m gone. I doubt the bread or the veggies are gonna last long… you need to eat healthier anyway. No potato chips for dinner.” 

Your smile grows. She knows you so well. 

“I gotta go, but I’ll send you tons of pictures when I get there. Bye, babe.” 

You hang up and set your phone down on the counter. Eyeing the bland looking loaf of brown bread, you decide you’ll have breakfast a la Chloe for dinner. 

You toss the loaf onto the counter, then stalk to the fridge. The avocados seem pretty ripe. Tomatoes, too. You pick out one of each, then pluck a couple eggs from the carton you two share and set it all on the counter. Avocado toast with scrambled eggs sounds pretty Chloe. 

You gut the avocado, tossing its pit in the trash and scooping its innards out into a bowl. The fork makes quick work of it, turning it into a mound of mild green paste. Salt, pepper. Done. 

Hey, if Chloe let you eat her food, she’s bound to not mind that you’re using her nice kitchen knives too, right? You cut a few slices of tomato and grimace at its gelatinous, glistening center. You never liked tomatoes much, but she’s kinda right-- you do need to improve your diet. 

Before long, you’ve got a nice thick slice of toast slathered in avocado and garnished with ripe red tomato sitting next to a steaming pile of scrambled eggs. This may not be your beloved salt & vinegar chips, but it sure looks delicious. 

You snap a photo of your meal and text it to her. Am I healthy yet? you type, with a grin on your face. 

Muffy stalks up to you, looking up expectantly. You sigh and toss her a morsel of scrambled egg. “That’s all you’re getting, you little twerp.” you admonish through a mouthful of toast. It’s not… delicious, but it’s not bad for some mushed up vegetable on top of an excuse for bread. You curse yourself for not adding some cheese to your scrambled eggs. That would’ve really been delicious. 

You’d usually be scrolling through your social media right now, but something inspires you to look longingly out the window of the kitchen. The sky is a starless, inky black, obscuring everything except for whatever is illuminated by the weak orange streetlights. Usually there would be more traffic or drunk yelling-- you and Chloe didn’t exactly get lucky with the placement of your unit-- but tonight it’s eerily silent. That’s perfectly welcome to you, though. It’s much better than cranking up the volume of your music to drown out whatever street fight is occurring three floors below you. 

Suddenly, your musing and its silence is broken by the sound of your ringtone. It’s half past midnight… who in their right mind would be calling you right now? 

Unknown number. You frown and let it go to voicemail. Probably just some spam caller. 

You finish your dinner and sit there in the silence, then check your phone again. You can’t help but be curious as to what message they’ve left you. Gingerly, you open your voice mailbox again and listen dispassionately to the dial tone and the little robot voice. 

You have one new message and one old message. 

The voice that erupts through your speaker is unfamiliar, smooth, low. All you can discern is that it’s a male voice, its tone almost perversely cloying. 

“I was hoping you’d pick up.” A long inhale, a long exhale. “You seem a little lonely. Breakfast for dinner… cute.” 

Ice cold horror washes over you and you can barely move your fingers to hang up. This has to be some kind of joke. Some stupid kid getting really, really lucky with their prank call. 

But a question still sears into your thoughts:

Who would have known what you were doing? 

That you were alone in your apartment? 

Maybe, just maybe, by some insane stretch of the imagination, Chloe’s new boyfriend got ahold of her phone, saw your text, and decided to pull some prank. Yeah, that sounds about right. That’s the only situation that makes sense, unless… 

Somebody is watching you.  

You nearly jump out of your seat as the phone rings again. Unknown number. Your hands tremble over it as your panicked brain deliberates picking it up. Before you can think about it any more, you’ve snatched it into a sweaty palm and brought it up to your ear. 

“Chloe, this isn’t fucking funny. Cut it out.” you try to sound intimidating, but your voice trembles in just the wrong way with each word. 

“You picked up.” the voice breathes, and you swear you can hear a sinister smile creep onto whoever’s face it belongs to. “You must really be lonely.” 

“I said stop, Chlo--”

“My name’s not Chloe.” he snarls, and your empty threat dies in your throat immediately. Then, as if nothing had happened at all, his voice slips back into that relaxed, amused tone. “But I do wish I were spending a month in Hawaii right now. Lucky girl, isn’t she?” 

Another pang of fear hits you like a brick. You swallow hard, biting your lip. “Whoever you are, leave me alone. Or I’ll… I’ll call the cops.” 

“What exactly are you going to tell them, sweetheart? That some big mean boogeyman is leaving scary messages on your phone?” he lets out a mocking laugh. “They’ll send their best officers, I’m sure.”

“Leave me alone.” is all you manage to say, breathless and trembling, before you force yourself to hang up and practically slam your phone down onto the counter. Muffy jumps and cocks her head at you. You force yourself to break out of your panicked stupor and hurry over to the kitchen window, glancing hurriedly to the left and right of it. If somebody were on the fire escape, you surely would have heard it. 

At least, that’s what you tell yourself. 

You yank those curtains shut, then the curtains on the living room window, then finally the ones in your bedroom. You remember Chloe locking and shutting her windows, so there’s no need to check in there. Something tells you to anyway.

You creep to her doorway, palms sweaty. There’s probably nothing to see in there, you think to yourself, the curtains were already shut. 

Looking into her room, your stomach drops. 

The curtains are tucked neatly to the side, and her window is cranked all the way open, letting in the cool night air and the sounds of the streets. You nearly choke in horror and rush over to shut the window, making sure the lock is tightly down before throwing the curtains back over them. You must have just misremembered. She probably left the window open to let some fresh air in, or something.

But she never leaves her window open, or Muffy would get out, you realize. 

“Oh my God.” you gasp to yourself, before you sprint to the kitchen and grab the biggest, meanest looking knife in the drawer, as well as your phone. Muffy meows at you curiously, then yelps in indignance as you swiftly scoop her up by the stomach and fly to your room. 

“Sorry.” you mutter as you practically toss her onto your bed, then lock your door. It’s a pathetic, flimsy mechanism, and could probably be picked with a fork, but it’s better than nothing. You pause, surveying the room for any heavy objects, and settle on jamming your full laundry hamper under the doorknob. At least this way you’ll hear any intruder before they make it into your room. The knife you tuck under your pillow as you scramble under your covers and turn your lamp off. 

Your hands shake as you dial Chloe’s number. The phone rings once, twice, then goes straight to voicemail.

“Hey, Chlo,” you say shakily. “Uhm, I got some really weird calls from somebody tonight and I think our apartment might have been broken into. Or something. Uh,” you swallow hard, “Muffy and I are locked up in my room right now and I have a knife. I could be just imagining things, but if you don’t hear from me for a while, I probably got murdered or something.”

God, you sound so stupid right now, but it’s the best you can muster when your thoughts are racing at a million miles an hour. 

“I’ll call you when I wake up tomorrow. Bye.” 

You plug your phone in and set it on your nightstand, shrinking down underneath your duvet. Nothing is visible in your room, even as your eyes adjust to the darkness, except for the glow of the hall light you left on under your door. 

It’s going to be a long night. 

Check out this story and the rest of its chapters on AO3!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28688007/chapters/70331253

[greyfongschemmenti]

In These Arms | Chapter 9: Conflict Resolution

Summary:

After Lin and Su's fight there is hope of some resolution.

The fire crackles as you poke the wood to keep it going “So want to explain to us what we’re doing here?” Bolin asks as he huddles close to Opal rubbing his arms. “I told you to wear a sweater, Bolin” Mako looks at his brother and shakes his head “I didn’t think it would get this cold at night”.

“Here you can share this blanket with me” Opal offers, and Bolin looks at her with heart eyes and blushes a bit “Thanks”.

“Alright, so it’s come to my attention that you all want to know about me?” you speak up as you stand, and earthbend a column to use as a stool for you to sit on, overlooking the rest of the group.  

“I think the only one that knows you well is Asami” Mako points over at her and she looks over from beside Korra “Yeah, but even then maybe I don’t know everything?” She looks unsure.  

“Oh! I know! You come from a gang of pirates?” Bolin asks,

“No Bolin” you look annoyed

“Are you Su’s long lost daughter?!”

“Yes” you deadpan and Bolin’s jaw drops before you scoff “Bolin, no! That makes no sense.” you turn to him as Opal playfully taps him on the shoulder.

“Just like you and Mako. I am from Ba Sing Se, the lower ring to be exact. I had a waterbender mom from the Southern Water Tribe, and an earthbender dad. So then there’s me, an awesome earth and metal bender, my sister who is a waterbending healer who works with Master Katara—”

“That’s who you were talking to at the healing hut!” Korra interrupts and Asami puts her hand on her arm to stop her “Shhhh let her finish” Korra quiets down.

“Yes, that’s who I was talking to. Couldn’t really introduce you guys to her considering we were worried about Jinora and about to fight UnaVaatu”

“Yeah…” everyone relents in unison thinking back to that event - Opal looks confused and Bolin starts explaining the whole Harmonic Convergence fight to her but it’s just confusing her more and you keep on telling your story “Anyways, I also have a firebending sister who works for the Fire Nation government as an architect”.

“Wait… earthbender, waterbender, and firebender? Why did your parents stop? They might have made an airbender” Bolin comments and gets nudged by both Korra and Mako as you all laugh “I don’t think so” you finish laughing.

“So what happened after?” Asami looks up at you and your eyes sadden. You explain the story of your parents’ demise and your decision to leave the place you once called home. “Traveled the world, met many interesting characters along the way. Spent a summer in a sand bending commune. “

“Mom did that!” Opal commented and you nod smiling “Yeah, we bonded over that. Though I did not join a circus like she did. I’ve never been a fan of watching animals do tricks for money. Let alone work alongside that”

“I get that. I rescued Pabu from becoming pythonaconda food—” Bolin looks down sad as Pabu curls up on Bolin’s lap

“Um, you mean when I rescued you and Pabu from that pythonaconda” Mako corrected his brother,

“Right” Bolin smiles sheepishly.

“Ok keep going” Asami helps you keep telling the story through all the interruptions and you thank her, “After traveling the world for a couple of years, I found myself in Republic City where I found a nice elderly lady who took me in until I met Asami at a market after she broke my clock”.

“Hey that was by accident!” Asami interjects and you laugh “Yeah yeah, you say so…but since then Asami and I became friends and soon Asami welcomed me into her home and offered me a place to stay. Hiroshi gave me a job after I’d share some concept art ideas on his satomobile and racers. After my contract was done I wanted to keep adventuring, so I left Future Industries after hearing about Zaofu”.

“You left a good job and stable income for an unknown adventure?!” Mako look at you in disbelief

“Yeah, I had some savings at that point. Money isn’t something I take for granted, it obviously helps with feeding and clothing yourself. A roof over your head, but when you’re on your deathbed are you going to lay there feeling grateful you had a job or think back on the awesome moments you had in your life? The crazy adventures you took around the world?” you look at him and Mako stays quiet looking away.

“Yeah bro, no one wants stability. We had a crazy life, living on the streets, becoming pro-benders, me a mover star, you a cop” he puts his arm around his brother as Mako shrugs him off “Detective”,

“Yeah, specifics sorry detective .” He puts his hands up in the air as he fake bows to Mako

The girls laugh quietly as you keep going “I found a host family in Zaofu for the first year, then I met little Wei and Wing out in the market with Su. They must’ve been like 6 or 8 at the time and I was 18-19, they were playing around with this metal ball. I think it was Wing who threw the ball too far and it landed beside my foot while I was sketching, and I passed it back to him. Wei came soon after and made some silly remark about my drawing and said that their older brother, Huan, draws too. They asked if I wanted to play, and told them I didn’t metalbend. Before long they were tugging me along to meet Su at the farmer’s market and the rest is history” you looked at Opal and smiled as she laughed reminiscing, “Oh man, when Wei, Wing, and mom came home that day the twins were jumping up and down as if mom had brought home a pet. We were all surprised to find you standing there nervously in the foyer” she laughed, and you joined her “I didn’t know any of you. I just met two twin boys and next thing I know I’m being offered dinner at this massive house”,

“Anyway, after about a year or two of living in Zaofu, Su offered to teach me everything she knew about metalbending and even some earthbending tricks—I think I picked up a bit on the whole seismic sense thing —” you lean over at Opal and gave her a wink “But it’s not perfect. It needs some work…anyways I was visiting the house daily at that point, so Su and Baatar Sr pulled me aside and offered me a place to stay. Once I got the hang of metalbending I applied for the security force with Kuvira.”

“Kuvira?” Team Avatar questions and you and Opal share a look “Yeah she’s another kid that stays here in the Beifong mansion. She likes to keep to herself… focused on the security force, the dance troupe. You’ve probably seen her around. She’s Opal’s adopted sister” you point at Opal as the rest of the group looks over at her.

“How come we didn’t see her when we first arrived?” Asami asked,

“Or at dinner?” Korra chimed in “Or breakfast?” Bolin added to the list of questions. Opal shrugs and “Like y/n said. Kuvira tends to stay to herself. She’s dedicated to the security force so she’s up before any of us are and eats breakfast really early and doesn’t come home until late.”

Everyone pauses to take in this new branch of the family tree.

“That’s Kuvira…. But after being on the Zaofu guard. I decided to venture on into greener pastures and wanted to come back to the Republic.” You smile

“Yeah, but you left after your birthday” Opal frowns “New me, new life” you plainly stated even though there was more to the reason why you left. “I wasn’t leaving because I didn’t like Zaofu anymore. I just felt a new change of pace”.

“What, that you weren’t done growing as a person?” Opal asked.

“Precisely” you nod and smile as you remember back to your last conversation with the airbender,

“As fate would have it I joined the police force, then surprisingly during that same week a certain Avatar came in causing mayhem in the city. Since then it’s been ups and downs and full of crazy adventures, and here we are now. That’s my story”.

“Wow” Korra looks out to the fire.

“Are you sure you’re 28?” Bolin raises an eyebrow,

“Yeah you sound like Bumi” Asami comments,

“…or even Kya,” Korra adds onto Asami’s comment.

You laugh before stopping abruptly and look at them with a serious face “I’m actually 49”.

They all drop their jaws “No way!?” only Mako seems to look past your attempt “She’s joking” and you burst out laughing “You’re no fun Mako, but yes I’m 28”.

The rest of the group continues on joking and talking around the fire as Su walks up and grabs your attention. “I’ll be back” you politely dismiss yourself from the group and head over to Su “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, it’s been about 8 hours, figured we should go do the thing”,

“You were serious?!” you look at Su surprised.

“Of course I am. We fight, we make up. This is all part of the healing process, right? Come on help me. Lin is heavy” Su huffs as she starts walking away.

You sigh and shake your head wondering if this is a good idea, but you jog up behind her and head to Lin’s room. You help Su undress Lin and as she lifts her tank up your body starts to fill with fear as you realize that Su is going to see the love marks on her older sister’s body. Just focus on taking her shoes off while Su undresses her. You start working the boots off of Lin when you hear Su start to speak

“Gosh she has so many bruises…” she comments, putting the clothes aside on the bed and you blush a little, not looking over “Most likely from the fight… I’ll go get a towel to wrap her around” you lift her up together and carry her over to the tub so Su can wash her. You ask Su “Is it really necessary for me to stay? I can just wait out into the living area”  Su insists “Yes, i can’t lift her, what if i need help?”. You sigh then nod as you continue looking out the door while stealing glances of the two sisters.

“Some of these bruises look days old...”

You bite your lip and turn your face away - “She has a dangerous job. Fighting with triads and criminals trying to run from the scene, bruises are an everyday occurrence.”

“Didn’t realize hickies were an everyday occurrence in that dangerous job” Su smirks. You gulp “Huh...well would you look at that” you grin “I guess you were wrong about Lin being alone” you quipped,

“Wonder who it is”

“Only the spirits know.” you shrug as you rest your chin on your knees looking away.

“She never mentioned anything?” Su keeps pressing and you roll your eyes,

“She never mentioned you. What makes you think she’ll mention the person responsible for those marks?”

A long silence settles in the room before Su starts to reminisce and talks softly -

“I remember when Lin would give me baths. Though I would be awake..” she comments while you sit on the counter facing away.

“What else do you remember about her?” You ask as you bring your knees up to your chest.

“Toph would be too busy at work so Lin would sometimes cook me meals when I came home from school or bring takeout. She helped me with my homework. One time when we were really little, we were playing around and I fell and scraped my knee. It was the first time I saw Lin that worried. She picked me up and carried me back to the house for Mom to bandage me up. Toph dismissed it and told us to be careful next time but Lin kept a close watch after that….” Su trails off and you hear quiet sobs coming from her and you turn to look before turning away again “I feel like I should give you some privacy” you start to scoot off the counter “Just call me when you’re ready to help her out” you say to her gently as you head out the bathroom to wait in the living area. After half an hour you hear Su’s voice calling out to you and you rush over “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I’m done. Help me get her out the tub so I can dry her” you walk over and grab the same towel you used before and carefully pick her up. Carrying her over to the bed, Su dries Lin’s body while you get some clothes provided by the Zaofu dresser and you help her put them on Lin.

“You don’t seem a bit disgusted to see Lin” Su remarks as you finish putting a sleeve on Lin’s arm “Like you said, we all have the same body parts. I had to do my share of dressing my sisters”.

“When they were older?’

“The last time was when I was 24 - when I went to visit my sister. She actually saw me naked. Hypothermia remember?” you smirk as you step back.

“Ah yes, I remember that story. You came back slightly under the weather” she laughed.

“Alright well she should be more comfortable now. Best to let her sleep for the rest of the night” Su turns to you and you grab the towels and set them in a hamper “Good idea” Su stops you and you look at her confused “You care for Lin, don’t you?”

“Yeah, of course…. since working together at the force we’ve developed a certain level of trust and a friendship of sorts. It’s kind of what happens when you’re off catching bad guys” you rub the back of your neck as a slight blush appears on your cheek.

“Are you feeling okay?” Su puts away Lin’s tank and sweats up as she looks at you

“Yeah, I think I’m just feeling tired…I should head to bed” you fake a yawn and start to head out.

“I see the way you look at her.... “ Su talks and you stop right at the door frame looking ahead as your eyes widen while she continues talking “...The way you rushed to her side when she fainted. Your eyes were full of concern and you refused anyone’s help to carry her. The way you spoke about her earlier….sounds like someone has a crush on my sister.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Su” you scoff and shake your head as you rub the back of your neck taking another step forward as Su walks after you putting a hand on your shoulder turning you around “You don’t think I caught on your little ticks? The way you rub your neck when you’re worried or nervous?” She purses her lips as she folds her arms “There’s something more between the two of you than you’re letting on, isn’t there. She’s more than 20 years older than you?”

“Her age means nothing to me, Su.” you walk backwards out of the bedroom away from Lin to let her rest “...Iris is 5 years older than me. If anything, her being older is a plus.” blurt out then bite your tongue trying to quiet down “shit” you mutter under your breath as you hang your head low as you run your hand to the back of your head. You keep your face turned from Su as your body tenses up. “You didn’t answer the question, y/n… are you and Lin more than friends?” Your throat closes up as you try to find a way to divert this conversation while you grip onto the armchair. Your cover is blown, “I--” your eyes well up as the worry you have on Lin starts to surface then you finally breathe out “...yes”. You turn to face Su “There’s something more, but that’s all I’m going to say. I’d rather keep whatever privacy we have left. For Lin’s sake and mine, private.”

“So those marks are...yours I presume?” Su fold her arms as she looks at you

“You really want to know?” you raise a brow as you can’t help but let out a laugh

“No, don’t answer that. As much as I love my sister. Her sex life isn’t one I would like to know about. Treat her right”

You smirk and chuckle a bit before getting serious “I care about your sister, Su. A lot. I would never hurt or quit on her.” you look over at Lin and your eyes soften, then you turn to look at Su with a determined face. “Lin is strong and more than capable of defending herself, but I have no problem stepping in on her behalf when necessary.”

“I know you will. My sister deserves some good in her life…. Thanks again, y/n, at least Lin has you in the city” she gives you a smile and you smile back “Yeah, I guess you’re right. No problem, that’s what family is for, right?” you close your mouth then open back up as you think of something “As much as I know you would love to rub it in Lin’s face. Please don’t mention any of this to Lin…. unless you want to lose her. Please, I can’t stress this enough for Raava sake please just wait until she tells you herself.”

“Well I can poke her about it. Get some kind of ruse out of her” Su smirks and you roll your eyes “Always gotta tease her, don't you?” you smirk back before shaking your head. “Alright I should get ready for bed. Both of us do”

*

After an hour or so you sneak back into Lin’s room and crawl in bed to lay beside her. She’s still sleeping deeply, just how you and Su left her and you watch her until you doze off. Sometime in the middle of the night Lin stirs and wakes up “What…where am I?” she looks around and notices you next to her, she shakes your shoulder - “Hmm…Lin?” you wake up and rub your eyes “You’re awake” you sit up as Lin looks around the room then down at her new clothes “What time is it?”

“Um, I don’t know it’s probably sometime in the early morning. Maybe two? You’ve been asleep for about 9 hours now” You squint looking out the window before glancing back at her. “What the flameo am I wearing” she tugs on her collar and you laugh softly as you wrap your arms around her and close your eyes “It’s the Zaofu robes. Su put them on you” you murmur as you doze off,

“Su?!” she looks down and shakes you awake again you groan out “baby….yes, Su''

“How?” she pressures you to keep talking

you open your eyes and try to wake up, sitting up beside her “Uh…well…after you fainted I brought you back to your room. I had to tell Su about your session, so she called the acupuncturist to find out what caused your fainting spell. Said he’s never had a case where someone’s chi was so ‘powerfully blocked’ - his words” you smile as you lean your head back on the headboard. “He mentioned he told you to take it easy and rest but in true Beifong fashion you decided to fight Su instead. You overworked your already tired body and when you sparred you drained your energy even more which caused your current state. I was so worried…” you turn your face to look at her as you pout lacing your hand with hers.

Lin was looking down then looked over at you “Ok…but how does that explain the clothes?”

You bite your lip to hide your smile “All of that and you’re stuck on the robes” you laugh, then sigh rubbing your face before continuing on “We let you rest for a while before Su asked me to help her give you a bath”

“What?! You and Su bathed me?”

“No…. Su bathed you, I just helped undress you. I’ve at least had experience in that department” you chuckle, and Lin smacks your chest “Lin!” you rubbed your chest pretending to wince “It was either me or Opal to help your sister. Considering your last interaction with your niece it was better not to scar the poor girl.”

“You’re right”

“Yeah… while Su was bathing you she…”

“What, she did something to me, didn’t she. That little brat” Lin starts checking herself around for any marks

“No, no. She was talking about all the stuff you did for her when you two were younger. You bathing her, helping her with her homework, the first time Su scraped her knee and you got worried.”

“I wasn’t worried” she rebuffed

“Really, it seemed to me you got scared and carried your little sister all the way home all for a scraped knee. It was sweet, you’re a good caring sister” you smile.

“Su let you stay here?” Lin seems to still be disoriented as you shake your head yawning

“No, I snuck in after everyone went to bed” you yawned again .

“You say it’s two in the morning?”  

“Yeah, so sleep?” you scoot down and lay back down on the bed and Lin lays back down as well, wrapping her arms around you.

“Did I really worry you?” she whispers, and you nod “I was. we all were, especially Opal and the twins, We’ve all taken turns checking up on you. Despite the initial introduction, your niece and nephews sure do care about their Aunt Lin…but I’m glad you’re awake. You’re feeling better?” you whisper to her as you stroke the hand that’s resting on your middle,

“Kind of, I still feel out of it” she murmurs against your shoulder while her thumbs stroke your stomach.

“Let’s sleep then, and if you’re not feeling the robe you’re more than welcome to... take it off…” You smirk, rubbing your legs against hers. “You would like that, wouldn’t you?” she smirks whispering in your ear as you bite your lip “Whatever makes you comfortable, baby” you turn half your body over to her and she props herself up over you, rubbing your waist and looking into your eyes before leaning down and kissing your lips. Lin arches your back, running her hand up and down your side as you cup her cheek deepening the kiss. She runs her hand down your side as then slides it up your shirt brushing her hand on your bare skin “Take this off” she growls against your lips. You pull the tank top off without question, tossing it aside. You remember Lin’s current state and pull back a bit “Wait…are you sure?” looking into her eyes as you stroke her cheek gently with your thumb as Lin nods “Yes, I want to feel good after what happened” she softly speaks as you nod understanding then lean in to kiss her,  gently biting her lip. Lin groans as you pull on her lip before she tugs back and plants kisses down your body - leaving love bites on your chest and abdomen while her hand wanders down between your legs causing you to moan and grip the sheets. Lin’s mouth works down your body before she groans out softly in pain, “Lin?”

“I’m fine, dear” Lin carries on but sucks air through her teeth and leans up getting aggravated at herself “Fuck”,

“It’s okay, we can stop” you sit up and watch Lin refuse as she crawls beside you “No, I want to keep going”.

You look at her and notice how upset she’s getting, so you lean over and kiss her cheek, “Okay, let me take control then” you whisper as you grab onto Lin’s waist lifting her robe up while you lay her down onto the bed, getting between her legs. Your lips move down her jaw then to her neck before trailing up behind her ear “Doctor’s orders say to make you comfortable. Let me take care of you tonight baby” you whisper in her ear as Lin bites her lip and nods. You tug on her robes ��Can you take this off?” Lin grabs hold of the edge and pulls it off, tossing it aside before pulling your face close to hers and into a deep searing kiss. Her legs wrapping around your waist as you grip the back of her thigh then up her ass as you grind against her. You run your hand down along her body during the kiss as you curl your finger around the side of her panties, “can I take this off?” you whisper against her lips as she unwraps her legs and you slide them down her legs. You lightly brush your fingers along her inner thighs, Lin moaning affirmatively at your touches. Kissing down her body as she arches her back, your circle your tongue around her nipples and tug it between your teeth. Lin moans as she runs her fingers in your hair before you move down lower. Gently kissing biting on her abdomen and pelvis before moving her legs over your shoulders. your tongue slowly teases her sweet folds as she grips your hair and tugs on it causing you to move your lips to groan against her clit. The vibrations arousing her further as she moans arching her back more you. Moving back down and worked her picking up the pace as she pants "please, y/n".

you look up at her and notice Lin's eyes pleading to you as she closes her eyes tilting her head back "fuck". you lean up as you bring your body over hers as you reach her lips. Lin taking your lips eagerly keeping each other hips close grinding against one another "please" she mutters, y our fingers slide down and touch her core and you smile against her lips. You slowly kiss down her jaw then right under her neck, finding a sensitive spot as she lets another moan escape. You let a groan out against her neck then whisper affirmations of your love in her ear. Her hand slides up into your hair while the other grips on your ass while your two fingers work in and out of her core. Her hips roll against your fingers and she’s panting hard now as she twists her hands in your hair, biting your shoulder as she clings to your body muffling her moans “Don’t stop”. You keep stroking your fingers curling them inside her as your thumb circles her clit, causing her to tilt her head back sinking her nails into your neck as she reaches her climax. You were careful not to hurt Lin and gave her body your undivided attention. Once she cools down you slowly remove your fingers and look at her while you taste suck on them, "delicious" you smirk. Lin looks flushed as she catches her breath move beside her as you get out of bed to wash up. washing your hands and brushing your teeth before coming back to bed, laying beside Lin leaning over to give her three kisses.

“Sorry I couldn't reciprocate” Lin murmurs, holding you in her arms as she kisses your shoulder softly.

“It’s okay, love. You’re not fully recovered yet. It was still wonderful”,

“If you say so” Lin rests her face into your neck -

“It was. Every time with you is amazing” you look over your shoulder at her and give her a kiss. Turning back around, you rub the arm Lin has draped around your stomach. “You let out your feelings in that spar now you can start building something with your family. At least start with one and work from there.” you rub her arm and feel her voice mumbling against your neck “I don’t know…I-”

“-Don’t decide right now. Sleep on it, ok?”

Lin stays quiet and you bring her hand up to give it a kiss then stroke your thumb over her hand it soothes you and her to sleep, giving her head a kiss.

*

You squint your eyes as the sunlight comes peeking through the curtains, causing you to rub your eyes. Looking around the room you see Lin still knocked out asleep. Pulling the sheets up to cover her up a bit you kiss her lips as part of your morning routine and get up. Ruffling your hair, you start searching for your clothes, it was going to be a challenge with the mess of pillows, comforter, and clothes all over the floor. Whatever pieces you find, you start putting on and tidying up the room a bit. Once you find the rest you slip on your boots and set Lin’s robes beside her on the bed then kiss her forehead before slipping out her room and sneaking back into yours to get ready for breakfast.

“Morning y/n” Su welcomes you as you drink some mango juice “Morning, Su. How’d you sleep?”

“Well, all things considered. What about you?” She looks over while Chef sets down a plate in front of her and she thanks him. “Pretty good. After all the events yesterday it was no challenge to doze off” you smile as you eat some fruit. “Have you checked in on Lin?” you ask Su as she eats some of her breakfast, she shakes her head “No, I wanted to wait to see if she’ll wake up for breakfast. Did you?”

“No, I figured it would be best not to bother her if she was still resting.”

Slowly, Team Avatar and the rest of the Beifong family joins for breakfast and everyone enjoys the food while checking the door for any sign of Lin. Once breakfast was over everyone separated to go about their day.

“Hey y/n! I was wondering if you wanted to spar for a bit” Asami stops you as were heading out and you smile “Yeah, I could use a spar. You’re not going to try to kill me like Su and Lin yesterday, right?”

Asami laughed and shook her head “No, I won’t do that. I just feel like I need to keep up on my combat skills. Korra almost took me down even with all the protective gear and pads.” You laugh and walk Asami over to the pavilion “Wow okay, yeah sure come on. We can’t let Korra be the only tough girl”

           You and Asami face each other and you take your tunic off and set it on the steps as you both wrap your forearms and put on the gloves, getting into a fighting stance. “Are you ready?” you bring your fists up to your face as Asami does the same. “Oh yeah, give me your best shot, Cap” Asami smirks as you playfully glare at her before charging and taking the first swing. Asami easily dodges and knees your side causing you to groan out “Nice contact” you shake it off before getting back into position. Asami looks for any openings and takes a jab then tries for an uppercut. You bob and weave around her attacks before taking a jab at her hip and throwing your leg behind her, causing her to fall back on the ground. Asami groans and holds onto her back making you stop and rush over “Oh man, ‘Sami are you okay?” she shakes her hand “Help me up”,

“Yeah sure” you grab her hand and her pained looks quickly changes into a smirk as she grips your hand then grabs the edge of your pants and flips you over. Landing hard on your side and you groan out and  hold on your side letting out a pained out laugh “Nice, I should have known”.

“You always fall for it” Asami laughs and jumps back up and takes a couple swings at the air. You wipe your mouth as you push yourself up and get back into a fighting stance and launch at her.

“Woah, what’s going on?!” Korra rushes over and stands between the two of you putting her hands up on both your chests. You and Asami exchange confused glances “What?”.

“First Su and Lin and now you and Asami are fighting? What is up with this place?” Korra huffs while you and Asami laugh “We’re not fighting, Asami wanted to train so she asked me to spar with her” you explain to Korra and you notice her flush with embarrassment. “Oh…”

“Yeah, oh… I’d rather fix my problems with words not fists” you laugh as you pull the gloves off and shake your head.

“I can’t believe you thought we would fight each other, Korra” Asami laughs as she walks up to the Avatar,

“I did think it was weird to see you two fighting but after yesterday, anything is possible.” Korra rubs the back of her neck as she winces “Sorry”.

You smile and grab your tunic as you start to button it up “Don’t worry about it. Asami just wanted to train so she could help you better during your workouts” you mention as you tuck your tunic in your pants not noticing the slight blush appearing on Asami’s cheeks. “I just want to help Korra in any way I can,” she quickly explains her intentions to Korra.

“Oh…that’s nice of you, Asami” Korra smiles before changing the subject “So any sign of Beifong?” she looks at the both of you and she receives a “No” from both Asami and you.

“Haven’t seen her, she hasn’t made an appearance anywhere?” you ask Korra and she frowns getting concerned “No, maybe we should check up on her. It’s getting pretty late isn’t it? She’s been sleeping for like a whole day” she over exaggerates and you laugh “I think it’s only been like fifteen hours Korra”

“Still that’s a long time! Who sleeps that long?!” Korra sits down on the steps and rests her elbows on her lap.

“Chief has a stressful job, think of it like she’s sort of on a mini vacation. Catching up on years of missed sleep” You sit beside Korra and try cheer her up “Maybe, I should go check up on her”

“Sure if it’ll ease your worries…. But be prepared - I sure wouldn’t poke a sleeping dragon” you smile as you stand up and dust your pants off.

“You’re right…. You guys want to come with me?” Korra looks at the both of you

“Not putting myself in that situation.” Asami throws her hands up before sliding them in her back pockets as she walks away. “Ok, what about you, y/n?” you suck in the air through your teeth as you rub the back of your neck “Yeah, it’s best if I don’t… don’t want to get burned” you smirk before dragging out a sigh “Maybe I should ask Bolin and Mako…” she mutters and you laugh “Sure, go ahead and do that. Good luck Avatar” patting Korra’s shoulder before jogging after Asami “Hey wait up ‘Sami!”

*

“I’ll be right back, Asami. I’m gonna grab a snack” you jog inside the estate and enter the dining room. Luckily the fruit bowl was still there and you grabbed an apple. Bouncing it off your forearm you take a bite as you walk out of the dining room - almost running into Lin, “Hey you’re up!” You smile as you chew on the piece of fruit in your mouth. Lin looks the most relaxed you’ve ever seen and gives you a kiss “Good morning, honey. Mmm honey crisp?” she smiles brightly wiping the lipstick off your lips with her thumb then grabs your apple and takes a bite “Mmm so good” she moans and your jaw drops almost dropping the piece of fruit in your mouth. Watching her walk toward a chair taking another bite of your apple. You catch yourself and clear your throat with a blush appearing on your cheeks “Uh--yeah, I was just grabbing a snack—wait”. You pointed at the fruit bowl then out the door then just realized what happened. Lin moaned again, munching away hungrily, granted she hasn’t eaten in practically a day. She also kissed you in the middle of the dining room. In broad daylight.

“Y/n, you okay?” Lin’s voice even sounds softer and you just smile and nod while staring at her. “Yeah, all good. Just happy you’re up and about”.

“I know I missed breakfast, but I was hoping I could get something to eat” Lin spoke so politely that you choke on the bite you forgot you had in your mouth. Walking towards the kitchen behind Lin you put your hand on the door and start pushing

“I’ll ask Chef to make you something. Keep munching on the apple, babe” you cough, trying to control yourself as you step out to get Chef. You kindly ask him to prepare Lin breakfast since she has been out of sorts. You walk back into the dining room and stand beside Lin, “Chef’s whipping something up for you. It shouldn’t take long.”

“Thank you, dear”

“You—I—no problem...dear” you raise your eyebrow, slightly confused and flustered by this weird interaction you’re having, but you love it. You smile widely at how Lin is acting, “I should head back, before people wonder where I’ve gone” you whisper as Lin gives you a understanding nod. You’re not really sure what to do but you look around to see if the coast is clear. You give Lin a light smooch, and she pecks your lips in return. Looking down you take a bite out of the apple before giving it back to Lin to finish then give her the three kisses on her lips as she holds your chin, “Go” Lin whispers smiling wide and you nod. Head towards the door before looking back at her and give her a cheeky smile before heading back to Asami.

*

Scratching the back of your head trying to grasp what just happened. Lin did get more than enough sleep, got her Chi unblocked, sort of started to fix her relationship with Su, and she got laid last night. Maybe she’s high off serotonin ? You think as you remember Lin took your Apple and you chuckle a bit chewing on the bite you have in your mouth. As you reach Asami, the others come running and pant, catching their breaths. “Woah what happened?” you looked at them surprised,

“Did you guys get chased out by the sleeping dragon?” Asami smirks, asking them as she lowers her sunglasses. Bolin points a finger up to give them a moment before he pants out “No…worse”

You glance at Asami “What’s worse?” you take a seat down beside her on a patch of grass as Pabu runs over to Bolin.

“Chief—She—” Mako looks like he is in a state of shock,

“Okay can someone form a full sentence?” you look at the three as Korra glances up at the both of you “She smiled!”

You cover your mouth to hide your smile as you swallow your food. You look at the three bewildered teens as you fight the urge to laugh and croaked “She what?”

“She smiled!” Bolin finally composes himself and waves his hands towards you and Asami.

“Is that bad?” Asami looks confused, turning her head back and forth between you and the other three as she notices you trying not to laugh, and a smile creeps up on her face.

“Have you ever seen Lin smile?!” Korra asks the group and everyone looks around,

“I mean yeah, that one time she promoted Mako” you point out.

“She only curled her lips - that wasn’t really a smile” Mako rebutted, and you think of another moment “Well...um… oh! When you got her bending back!” Bolin looked over at Korra “I mean she was thankful and grateful for that, but I don’t think she ever smiled. At Least I don’t remember I was in the Avatar State” Korra also tries thinking of a moment as she rubs her neck “I mean I ran into her in the dining room and she smiled at me. It was nice” you refrain from explaining as you look at the teens. “But before today?” Bolin responds and you shake your head looking down smiling.

Asami stands up folding her arms “You mean to tell me that Beifong has never smiled before today and we missed it?!” Asami looks over at you and you give her a nod before shaking your head “I’m sure Lin smiles” You smirk and lay back on the grass putting your arms behind your head. “Well what’d you expect, she had a good night’s rest. Anyone would be happy after sleeping for that long” What I did to Lin last night could’ve also helped her too.

“Do you think Beifong will be nicer now?” Korra looks around and everyone shrugs.

“This is new territory we’ve never encountered before.” Mako comments,

“So this is either a good thing or a scary thing” Bolin’s eyes widen and he looks around “Um maybe I should find Opal. Make sure she’s okay” he speaks nervously as he waves bye to everyone and runs off.

“What are you smirking about over there, y/n?” Mako calls out to you, snapping you out of your thoughts about last night and look at him and the girls,

“Oh you guys are still here? I don’t see what the big deal is, so Beifong smiled. Big whoop. Was it nice?” you sit up

“Actually yeah, it was nice.” Korra is looking bewildered again thinking back at how happy and relaxed Lin looked as she walked out of her room, then her eyes widen remembering -

“Oh and that wasn’t the worst part, She wasn’t wearing her armor - she was in Zaofu robes!”

“Oh yeah, I almost didn’t recognize her when I fell,” Mako relented.

And you furrow your eyebrows “You fell?”

“I knocked and there was no answer, so I was leaning against the door to listen for any noise inside the room -to see if she was in there, but then she opened the door and I fell in,” Mako quickly explained before getting flustered by his fall.

“Huh, well that’s good, means she’s relaxed, right?” Asami asks before looking at you and you give her a slow nod.

“Since she seems to be in a good mood maybe it’s best we stay clear from her. You don’t want to tick her off again” you stand up and dust yourself off before walking away “Where are you going?” Korra calls out to you

“All this talk about sleep got me feeling like I could use a nap. Maybe I’ll be in smiling mood”

“Ha-ha very funny”

You smirk as you wave goodbye before sliding a hand in your pocket, returning to your room.

*

Lin looks up at the large statue of Toph silently contemplating on how nice it feels to reconnect with her sister again. Maybe I should talk to mom and work on that mess too, she thinks when she senses someone approaching up behind her. “Opal has decided to go to the Northern Air Temple. I’m guessing you and y/n had something to do with her decision.”

Lin turned to face her sister as she softly spoke “Well, I was just-”

Su smiles at her sister “it’s okay. I’m glad she was honest with me. I want her to do what makes her happy” She looks down “Mom gave us too much freedom, but I feel like I’ve made the mistake of giving Opal too little. I think it’s time I let her choose her own way.” she closes her eyes for a moment before opening them “I’m sorry I gave you such a hard time when we were younger. I can’t imagine what my life would’ve been like if Mom hadn’t sent me away, If I had stayed in the city.”

Lin looks at her sister and answers dryly “You’d probably be in prison”

Su chuckles “You’re probably right. Mako told me that you’re an amazing Police Chief and y/n strongly agrees. Republic City is lucky to have you. I know Mom is proud.”

Lin looks down for a short while then turns back to look at the statue of Toph as Su steps forward to stand beside Lin and they both look up at it.

“Can we move on now? I’d love for you to be a part of my life again. There’s plenty of space for you in the house, and the kids would love having their aunt around.”

Lin turns to face her sister again. “I do need a co-director for my new dance performance.”

Lin’s eyes widen as she raises her hands “Woah. Slow down” Lin smiles half amused and half in disbelief at Su’s mention of the dance company. “How about for now, I just promise not to show up at your house and attack you again.”

“Deal” su extends a hand out and Lin returns the gesture ending in a handshake. Lin looks genuinely relieved and happy to have reconnected with her sister.

As Su guides Lin back to the house “So you and y/n, huh?” she gives Lin a smirk causing Lin to look at her confused “What about me and y/n?”

“Nothing just you two seem….close”

Lin narrows her eyes trying to understand where Su is something from “How so?”

Su smiles smugly “I don’t know, but the way y/n rushed to your side when you fainted. She was concerned for you, refusing to let anyone else help. The way she talks about you just seems….like there is something more”

“For me?” Lin raised her brow

“y/n gave me a good talking to. That’s all I’m saying.” she folded her arms causing Lin to look away gruffly, “We’re colleagues. We look after each other as comrades in the force.”

Su scoffs and nudges her older sister patting her shoulder as she continues walking “Okay, Lin”

“What?” Lin grabs her wrists to stop her as Su turns to her,

“Nothing, you’re just colleagues, comrades.” she waves her hands dismissively “I’m glad someone is watching over you, Lin. y/n is a good person, she’s patient and caring. Though she can be stubborn and reckless. Her and the twins together equals pure chaos sometimes.” Su chuckles and Lin’s lips curl up into a small smile. “During her time at the house I’ve learned that once you’re in her life she doesn’t let you go, it takes a lot for her to drop a person from her life. She treats the kids like her own family and I know they love her.”

“That’s nice to know. But  why are you telling me this?” Lin says wryly. Lin tries not to look nervous, hoping that her relationship isn’t blown. Lin isn’t ready to have this kind of talk with her sister about her love life. Even though she cares and really likes you more than she can admit to herself, she likes the fact that you and her are private.

“Figured you should know about them from my perspective and experience while they were here” “Uhh thanks” Lin blushes slightly as she folds her arms “I should get going...” she pointed towards the courtyard to her room

*

A pounding knock wakes you up and you groggily get out of bed rubbing your head as you grab your tunic and slide it on over your head before opening the door, “Yeah?” rubbing your eyes

“Try to contain your excitement” Lin says dryly as she folds her arms, your eyes widen and look over her shoulder before looking back at her.

“I see your little high cooled down?” you smirk back as you open the door more to let her in. Lin rolls her eyes and pushes past the door and closes it behind you “I think we should talk…”

You get nervous and start panicking, tapping your fingers together “Uh… how about no? I just woke up from a nap. We still have dinner to look forward to” your cheeks blush

“Don’t worry it’s not bad” she chuckles, and you lighten up “Oh well you could’ve said that. I had to initiate my escape plan.” You chuckle walking over to sit beside her.

“So…what’d you want to talk about?” your lips twitches as you fumble around your palms

“Su and I talked. She told me everything…”

“Oh… “ you look down as you fidget your fingers “what about... exactly?” you narrow your eyes a bit as you scratch the back of your ear trying not to sound nervous.

“She told me you talk to her…while I was out cold”

You sigh “I’m sorry...I know I shouldn’t have meddled but—” Lin interrupts you

“--I promised not to show up at her house and attack her again. So it’s progress” you close your lips as you take in the news and smile “That’s great, Lin! I’m happy for you two. So you’re not upset with me? I know I said some harsh things to Su…”

“It’s okay. I—thank you” Lin reaches over and rests her hand over yours giving you a smile. you look down and hold her hand,intertwining your fingers. “For taking my side. Choosing me instead of Su”

You scoot closer to her as you press your forehead against hers as you whisper “Of course, I told you I would rescue you from Su. I’ll always have your back. I choose you every time” You lean back a bit as you share a kiss then look down and smile

“What?” Lin cocks an eyebrow at you,

“You know it’s weird..” you rub under your nose as you stifle a laugh

“What is?”

“You know that whole meeting the family step when you get serious in a relationship…”

“No…Tenzin and I already knew each other’s family….”

“Oh…right. Well...” you scratch behind your ear “I already know your family. Lived with them. They all love and accept me. So it’s funny now that I’ve been witnessing you meet your own family for the first time” you chuckle as you look down biting your lip

“Heh…well at least I don’t have to do that part then. It saves me the hassle” Lin shrugs

“I mean there’s still the whole telling them about us thing” you look at Lin and she glances over at you her eyes slightly widening “Do we have to?”

“Or… we can have them figure it out on their own?” you smile as you lean in close to her

“Better” she smirks as she leans into you and presses her lips on yours parting her lips as you kiss her.

“Speaking of - Su...sort of suspects” you whisper and Lin leans back surprised “Su?!”

“Yeah, but it’s just suspicion. Don’t start having one of your worry fits” you cup her cheek and rub her jaw to try and calm her down. Lin groans softly and looks down resting her forehead against yours.  

“I’m really happy for you, Lin” you whisper again “About Su suspecting? I’m not happy with that” she mumbles and you chuckle a bit “No, about you back on your feet. You and Su reconciling. It’s nice” you give her a soft smile as you tuck some hair behind her ear as your thumb brushes along her cheek. Lin sighs happily, “Honestly, for the first time in a while I’m genuinely happy and relieved.” She whispers back

“That’s good, babe. I’m glad I’m here to share this happy moment with you” you smile as you stroke her cheek. Lin looks up at you and smiles, giving you a soft kiss.

You return her kiss then plant another and another until you’re kissing her fully, tongue and all, putting your hands on her waist and tugging her toward you as you kiss her neck. Lin bites her lip as she sighs “Have you ever slept in your room before?”

“The nap I woke up from was the first time. I’ve been elsewhere other nights” you mumble on her neck in between kisses.

“I wonder where…” she softly moans

“Yeah…” you trail kisses back up her neck until you connect back to her lips.

She kisses you deeply until she laughs softly  against your lips and extricates herself from your grip “Ok, enough” you smile against her lips and let go “Okay, fine” you laugh, compose yourself and scoot up on the couch “I should actually get ready for dinner, will you be joining?” you look over at Lin and she leans back in the couch “Yeah, all i’ve had was some kale drink Su’s Chef prepared”

“What was in it?” you eyebrows furrow slightly curious,

“A drink made of kale, coconut water, and walnuts”

“Coconut water? I’ll pass” you make a disgusted face and shake it off.

“It wasn’t that bad.” Lin smiles and chuckles slightly at your disgust.

“Chef is always creating weird concoctions.” you laugh as you get up and head toward your room “You’re more than welcomed to stay while I get dressed”

“I should be heading out - before anyone wonders where I am.” Lin gets up and heads towards the door.

“Right… yeah” you head out the bedroom and walk Lin to the door “I’ll see you at dinner then” you smile

“Yeah” Lin’s lips twitch up and you hover your hand over the door handle and before opening it, sharing a short sweet kiss until it turns into a slow, deep one, your other hand on the small of her back. Enjoying her taste, you fall into a trance as she grazes her nails down along your jaw before she pulls back “I’ll see you at dinner” she smirks against your lips waking you up from that trance and opens the door “Yes, dinner.”

*

“I would like to say a few words before we eat - I have an announcement actually” Opal stands as she grabs her cup “First, I just want to say that I’m so relieved that Aunt Lin is awake and doing better. Secondly, after talking with Aunt Lin, y/n, and with mom and dad… I’ve made the decision to join the other airbenders at the Northern Air Temple”

You give Opal a warm smile as you turn to look at Wei and Wing who look conflicted on the news, “You’re leaving us?!”

Su looks at her youngest children “Opal isn’t leaving, she’s making her own way in the world. This is a great opportunity for her to study under Tenzin and get to know other airbenders.”

“I think it’s wonderful Opal! You’ve made the right decision” you smile brightly as you stand up from your seat and bring your cup up in the air “Let’s cheer on Opal in her new path!” Everyone brings their cups up and gives a cheer to Opal.

“An airbending Beifong. That’s great...” you mutter then laugh out loud after taking a sip. Everyone glances over at your direction confused “What’s funny?” Wei and Wing ask in unison. You shake your head “Sorry, I just had a thought” you quiet down. “Care to share?” Su asks, curious about your laughter and once you compose yourself you take a breath “ I was connecting Opal’s airbending to her last name. Opal is the physical representation of the Beifong symbol. A flying boar.” you explain and Lin turns to Su “Huh, well how about that...”

“A flying boar in the family. Who would’ve thought” Su looks to Lin and they chuckle at the thought followed by the laughs from the rest of the family.

*

After dinner you finish congratulating Opal once again on her decision and catch Lin walking out the mansion and heading towards the grounds out of the corner of your eye. You dismiss yourself from the living area, dipping out the house as you look around for Lin. After a couple of minutes searching you find her near the maze you took her on the first day here, “Looking for a quiet place?” you have your hands in your pockets as you stop a couple steps behind her. “It was getting to be a bit”

“- too much?” you finish her sentence as she walks into the maze and you curl your lip a bit as you follow her. Lin looks lost as she takes a wrong turn and you chuckle “Over here” you speak up and point in the right direction taking the lead to the center. You walk over and sit at your usual spot on the grass and lay down looking up at the stars. Lin sits at the bench and neither one of you say anything until you sense her getting back up to walk over and sit beside you. “You’re right, no one comes here.” Lin continues to sit as you look for constellations ``Yeah, I think the only person who would come here is Huan but it’s too dark for him right now. He wouldn’t be able to sketch.” “The artist kid. He knows to keep his distance” Lin rubs the bridge of her nose as she looks up at the sky “What are you looking at anyways?”

“The stars, Lin, obviously” you chuckle as you prop yourself up as Lin deadpans you a look “I know but what’s there to see it’s just balls of light” she waves up at the sky.

“It looks nice. Sometimes you get to see constellations if you know what to look for”

“And you do?”

“No” you snort a laugh as Lin rolls her eyes looking away. You look down at your fingers before speaking again “I’m glad you spoke to Opal. Seems your talk to her gave her the push she needed to convince Su to let her leave Zaofu.”

“It was nothing”

“Maybe to you, but to Opal, I’m sure it was a major thing. You had your first Aunt/Niece moment. I’m proud of you, Lin” you smile looking up at her and she looks over at you when you mention you being proud of her.

“What?”

“I’m proud of you. You passed your first job of being an Aunt.”

“It’s a job?”

You chuckle “You basically get to be the second line to give advice and encourage the kids to do what’s best for them when your sister fails to do so or if they don’t like what she said.”

“Yeah, I’m not ready for this”

“Hey, at least you’ll get to be the cool aunt when the kids get annoyed with Su”

“Cool aunt, yeah right” Lin scoffs

“Imagine if the kids like you better than Su. That would kill her” you laugh,

“She would be hysterical” Lin chuckles and you look at her.

“It’s a slow process but this is a step in the right direction” you lean over and kiss her shoulder then add another on her cheek Lin turns at the last second and you catch the corner of her lips. She parts her lips and searches for your lips to capture your lips on hers. The kiss starts off slow and sweet - your hand cupping her cheek while Lin rests her hand on your hip. You pull back a bit to give her a few soft kisses before both of you slowly pull back.

“I’m going to head to bed. Some of us didn’t sleep for 16 hours” you quip as you try to get up when Lin kicks you down and you fall back.

“Oof, what the flameo Lin” you laugh and get up

“You tripped. Your agility is slacking, Captain”

“My agility? Okay, tomorrow you, me, and the twins. We’re going to have a two v two game of power disc. I’ll show you that my agility is up to par” you dust your hands off and stand up,

“Deal, I’ll murder you three”

“You’re all bark and no bite baby.” you smirk and she grabs your collar pulling your face close to hers “I think I’ve proven that I do in fact...bite” she puts on a sultry voice as she tugs on your lips with her teeth. You blink as your mind goes blank getting flustered “I….Uh...right. You coming?” you clear your throat as Lin smirks seeing you get flustered. You stand up sliding a hand in your pocket as you look down at her offering her a hand as she stays seated.

“No, I’m well rested I think I’ll have some time alone”

“Okay” you lean back down and give Lin a kiss “Goodnight, honey” you whisper,

“Goodnight, dear” she whispers and you smile against her lips and kiss her once and twice again. Standing up you earthbend yourself a column to lift yourself over the maze bushes. Hearing Lin’s voice ringing in your head about her bite, biting your lip. This is definitely a step in the right direction.

[springday-aus]

Boba Boy!AU with Minhyuk

moodboard link

Group: Monsta X 

Member: Lee Minhyuk 

Genre: fluff, romance

Type: Bulletpoint AU 

Word Count: 1.5k 

→ Inspired by the AU Prompt: “I come to this cafe pretty much everyday and by now you know my order by heart and even wave at me when I come in”

so there’s a bubble tea place in the center of this collegetown 

meaning it’s busy, but not always busy 

and our lil Minhyuk is the main drink maker 

straight up he is there just most of the time 

some people think he owns the place

others think he has no life 

but no, he’s just a person who needs money 

don’t we all tho 

he’s super friendly with customers 

no one ever complains about him 

and honestly who would bc this boy got the sweetest smile and always uses his manners

unless Monsta X comes in–customer service who? 

Kihyun: breaths 

Minhyuk: “sir, you are disturbing the customers and I need to ask you to leave” 

seriously tho, most of the customers come back bc he’s so nice

lowkey would give out free pastries to the regulars 

but also because he wants to hear them spill the tea

it’s the most entertaining part of this job 

anyways 

he works at this boba shop to make some extra cash 

originally he was just gonna work from the spring to the summer but then he actually really liked it so he stayed for the rest of the year

and now it’s a regular job 

y’all want me to elaborate? 

that’s another story 

moving on 

he’s really good with the mixed teas 

like mango green tea 

coconut milk tea 

taro milk tea 

Thai tea

the original black milk tea 

god I really want boba 

anyways 

he’s really good with them 

primarily because he likes shaking the little cocktail mixer 

Minhyuk: “look at how fast I can shake this” 

another worker: “oh my god” 

sometimes he helps out with the pastries, but he’s more of a drink guy 

speaking of which 

his boba 

h i s b o b a 

it’s fucking perfection 

literally, no one knows how but his boba always turns out fan-fucking-tastic 

it doesn’t turn out small 

it isn’t too soft on the outside 

it isn’t too hard when you chew it 

they’re the perfect size 

and nice and chewy 

he always puts the perfect ratio in the cup (unless asked for extra) 

Minhyuk: i.e. the perfect boba man 

so you are a regular 

when people say boba problems 

that’s you 

you are a sparkling definition of boba problems 

congrats 

anyways you probably come like every other day and probably have tried half of the menu 

but then after trying this one specific drink 

it’s become the regular order for you 

so now you order it every time 

honestly you spend like five minutes at a time in the shop but 

almost every staffer knows your face 

as well as your order 

including Minhyuk :) 

every time you come in, you always see him at the other end of the counter 

he remembers your order, so he always punches it in once he sees you 

and all you gotta do is pay 

it saves time and you always tip 

speaking of which 

remember that thing about giving out free pastries? 

yeah you get the most of that since you come in every other day

highkey he’s the only one who gives you them 

especially since you come here so often and tip nearly every time 

you can’t help it 

he’s so friendly that if you don’t tip him, you feel like a monster 

anyways 

that’s as far as your relationship goes with him 

it’s friendly but def at the acquaintance level 

he’ll wave whenever he sees you come in and you two would just have some small talk 

that is until you see him at the farmers market 

you were with a friend and then you thought you heard his laugh 

he was at this one old lady’s tea leaves booth, laughing at something she said 

you didn’t really know whether or not you should say anything since you’ve only seen him at the boba shop 

but then you make eye contact and he waves at you 

just like he does at the boba shop 

you smile and wave back at him 

he grabs his bag and thanks the seller

and then heads over to you, practically skipping 

Minhyuk: “hello!!!” 

You: “hi Minhyuk” 

your friend: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

you try to ignore your friend and look at Minhyuk 

You: “odd seeing you here, I’m so used to you from the waist up” 

Minhyuk laughs: “it’s good to see you outside of the shop though, what are you doing here?” 

You: “I’m with my friend—we need tomatoes and I only trust local farmers, why are you here?” 

Minhyuk: “I was checking out new tea flavors and maybe we can have some new creations on the menu, especially since it’s holiday season” 

You: “ahhh, I get it, we’re gonna bounce soon” 

Minhyuk: “I’ll see you tomorrow?” 

you smile at him, waving him goodbye as you and your friend leave 

your friend: “WHO was that???” 

You: “he works at that boba cafe that I go to” 

your friend: “CUTE” 

You: “........... yeah” 

your friend: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

oddly enough, that wasn’t the only time you saw him out of the cafe 

you just started seeing him on the daily at the farmers market 

eventually y’all started chatting even longer 

and now your conversations last a lot longer than before 

they typically start with “how are you?” “what are you doing?” 

but then like they just change dramatically and drastically at such a short time span 

or long 

again 

y’all have LONG conversations 

after like the 20th time of seeing him, you exchange numbers 

you still go to the cafe 

AND at the cafe, y’all just chat until a customer comes in 

bc he has to do his job

at the farmers market, y’all just walk around, talk, and get the stuff you came there for 

you started to write lists because you get so distracted talking to him 

You end up forgetting what you were even there for 

but it’s cute bc all the sellers think you’re a couple 

y’all don’t go to just the one farmers market 

now y’all go market hopping 

that’s not a thing for normal people but it’s a thing for y’all 

some people think they’re dates 

are they????? 

are they not????? 

you don’t know either 

you enjoy spending time with him 

and talking to him 

he’s such a good listener 

and he’s interesting to talk to 

because he ACTUALLY wants to talk to you 

your friends keep telling you to just do it so 

you do 

you two were at the night fish market 

the old ladies were telling him how handsome he is and how lucky his partner would be 

you were just kind of looking at him 

and I mean REALLY looking at him 

he is handsome 

and nice 

and funny 

and now you have no idea what your relationship to him is 

about an hour later, when he’s imitating one of the lobsters in the tank, you just ask him 

You: “what are we????” 

Minhyuk, confused: “people???” 

You: “we are not having another existential crisis conversation again Minhyuk” 

Minhyuk: ???? “I’m confused” 

You: “SO AM I” 

Minhyuk: “WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT???” 

You: “ARE WE OR ARE WE NOT DATING?” 

Minhyuk: “DO YOU WANT TO?” 

You: “I GUESS” 

Minhyuk: “I GUESS WE’RE DATING THEN”

You: “OKAY” 

Minhyuk: “OKAY” 

and thus the beautiful beginning of your relationship 

dating boba master Minhyuk is super cute 

he’s 100% in love with you 

and is 100% unafraid to show you and everyone else  

EVERYONE knows y’all are dating 

he’s super affectionate

you know what that means 

lots and lots of pda 

Changhyuk: “right in front of my salad????” 

Wonho: “I think it’s sweet” 

Shownu: “you’ll understand when you’re older” 

Jooheon and Changhyuk: ???? 

anyways 

speaking of Monsta X 

they love you 

y’all are adorable 

and they ship it super hard 

even though they complain about the pda 

they will love and support y’all 

moving on 

before, y’all went to farmers markets right? 

now you both go to other tea shops, boba cafes, and other drink places 

there’s also the restaurants, supermarkets, karaoke, mall/window shopping 

Minhyuk basically makes a date out of anything y’all do 

OH OKAY 

SO 

perfect boba man right?

this man will make you the drinks during your home dates

that order? 

the one you get nearly every time? 

yeah, he makes it at home 

FOR FREE 

at some points, Minyuk thinks you’re only dating him for the free boba 

You: “babe, that’s too much time and effort” 

Minhyuk: “so, if I stopped making you drinks?” 

You: “I would end you” 

Minhyuk: ………….. well damn 

and whenever he shakes your drink to mix it up 

he found all of these online tricks to impress you 

it’s cute 

(until the drink spills bc he forgot the lid) 

(or until he drops it for the nth time) 

(or until he gets dizzy from this one spin trick that he tried to do from Youtube) 

it’s cuuuuteee 

he’s always trying to make you smile 

even if he ends up looking like a dumbass 

because he loves making you happy 

and that’s all he really wants 

[harryandmolly]

Change of Pace - 3 (Summer 2019)

cowritten by @achinglyshawn

summary: Shawn and Maya meet again 10 years after life got in the way of love

warnings: language

wc: 7.2k

-------------

Geoff drags him out Sunday night, reminds him that he promised to play guitar for karaoke at the SandTrap for at least an hour until their regular guy can get there. 

“Besides,” Geoff rasps as he pulls Shawn into local-filled pub on the beach, “you need to have some fucking fun, dude. Stop wallowing over Maya.” 

“I’m not wallowing,” he insists, but he sounds a little too defensive even to his own ears. He re-adjusts his grip on his guitar case, following Geoff towards the stage. “Just, you know, processing. It’s a lot to process, dude.” 

Geoff takes Shawn’s guitar and sets it down next to his bass on the stage. He gives Shawn a look, amused but sympathetic, then jerks his head towards the bar. “C’mon,” he says, clapping Shawn on the back, “Let’s grab a beer before they need us on stage.” 

Shawn doesn’t argue, just lets Geoff push him forward. He takes the first empty seat at the end of the bar and nods at Meghan, the new bartender who started a few weeks ago. She smiles and he thinks maybe she blushes. He wonders if she’d flirt with him, if he tried. Probably. It could be fun, if it sounded at all remotely like something he wanted to do. 

Instead, he orders two beers and listens to Geoff talk about the woman at work he’s trying impress until they’re summoned to the stage. 

Maya scans herself in the reflection of a too-shiny BMW in the SandTrap lot. She hasn’t seen herself in these shorts since she was in her mid 20s, probably. She found them in the bottom of a box as she unpacked from her storage unit that was shipped over from Manhattan. 

She tried them on as a joke initially. But… they looked great. Especially a couple wine glasses in.

She’s heading for the SandTrap tonight because it’s just… time. Truthfully, she hasn’t left the house really since her run-in with Shawn at the farmer’s market last weekend. She’s been in and out to surf but has otherwise gone full hermit. When she realized this morning by looking at a paper that it was Sunday, she felt a sting of shame. 

So the SandTrap. 

It’s a dive on the beach. Their food is terrible, their service isn’t great, but the music is consistently awesome and Avila is so tiny that the nightlife is limited at best.

Just a drink or two, just to feel like she’s been out. It’ll be fine. Sure, she opened a bottle of shiraz to give herself the courage to get out the door, but this is an adjustment period. She shouldn’t judge herself. And she’s been trying to get him off her mind all week. She needs this.

But the shorts may have been a choice too far. I mean yes, she looks hot. CorePower Yoga and regular pilates were her vices while she was working. She’s in excellent shape. But the little cutoffs with her platform sandals and the drapey tank top? She’s too old for this.

But it’s too late. So she chews on her lip, tasting chapstick and wine, and walks inside.

It’s not the busiest night, and Shawn prefers it that way. The crowd is mostly locals chatting, exchanging a laugh or catching up about their weeks. No one’s too drunk, so the singing on stage hasn’t been awful. Besides, he’s likes watching his friends make idiots of themselves, and he likes listening to the ones who actually manage to carry a tune. 

He’s reminded of what fun is, for a little while. 

He can’t help but laugh at one of the locals’ rendition of Never Gonna Give You Up, and Geoff catches his eye from across the stage, an approving smile spread across his lips. 

It’s not like Shawn needs anyone to take care of him, but it’s nice having Geoff around. He’s never had an older brother, but he thinks Geoff fills the role well. 

Cheri claims the last song of the hour before the band goes on break and Shawn passes guitar duty back to Beckett, the kid who regularly plays the gig. The barista picks Careless Whisper as her anthem, and Shawn loves her for it. 

He loves this song. This song makes him want to pick up the saxophone, but he’s not sure he has the lung capacity for it. Either way, he finds himself melting into the chords, into Cheri’s pretty voice that soothes him even with the saddest lyrics. 

He’s caught up enough not to notice the woman who broke his heart standing in the back of the bar.  

Oh, come the fuck on.

She’s able to actually chuckle to herself because of course he’s here. Of course he’s on stage in those tight black jeans bobbing his head as he looks around the dimly lit dive bar. His fingers move deftly against the neck of the guitar she’s known almost as long as she’s known him. She wonders if he remembers the nights he spent holding her between his legs, kissing her neck and shoulders while she tried to learn to play. She hasn’t thought about that in a long time. She got really good at not thinking about that.

Maybe she should take this as a sign and just leave. Maybe she’s done enough just by getting out of her yoga pants to come tonight. Maybe she can count this as a brisk walk by the beach… a little tipsy and in platforms. That’s fine, right?

But then he’s getting off the stage and settling into a stool by the bar and he clearly hasn’t seen her so maybe she’s safe? She recognizes the song the band plays next and it’s giving her a conflicting sign. She has to stay through the end of it, at least. The woman singing has a nice voice.

A woman he doesn’t recognize gets on stage after Cheri, and Shawn’s glad he’s not accompanying anymore, because he kind of hates the song she picks. It’s Ashlee Simpson, an artist he hasn’t heard since college, when Maya would blast her music in her car as they sped through Toronto in search of a hot club or some chicken nuggets. Whichever they’d run into first. 

The song makes his heart beat faster. Too much reminds him of Maya these days, including the woman herself. She’s somewhere in this town, breathing the same salty beach air he breathes, watching the same sun rises he watches. Buying the same Starbucks, listening to the same radio stations. 

He takes a sip of beer. Forces himself to stop thinking about it. About her. He used to be so good at not thinking about her at all. 

Ok, new plan. She’s going to sneak up to the bar behind him and get herself a drink then retreat to where she can stay out of sight. One or two cocktails and she’s out the door, no problem.

Problem: the floorboards are warped by decades of sea salt air and bad weather. She catches an edge and rolls her ankle, crashing into the man standing in front of her with a wince. She apologizes quietly but knows she’s made a scene.

He’s caught up in his effort to push her from his thoughts when he hears a bit of a commotion at the other end of the bar. A barstool screeches, a beer bottle topples onto its side. 

When he looks over, he’s not even surprised. She’s always popping up when he’s trying to forget her. 

Maya slumps into a stool in defeat, now very sure Shawn’s seen her. She can’t bear to look though. She needs a fuckin’ drink.

Maya’s face looks red as she slips around the man to settle at an empty barstool. Shawn feels his own face turn a similar shade of crimson. He doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t know when she got here or if she’s seen him, but for a moment, he’s stuck. 

It’s like a video game, where you’ve got two choices, and one choice moves the story along while the other sends you down a dead end, or over the edge of a cliff. Shawn doesn’t know which decision is which. None of his options now feel right. Staying in his seat and ordering another beer feels like a dead end. Getting up and saying hi feels like flirting with the cliff. 

He decides dead ends are boring. 

He plucks his wallet from his pocket and tosses a couple bills on the bar before moving down to the other end. He approaches Maya from behind, makes sure she can’t spot him before he’s leaning his forearms on the bar next to her and getting Tom’s attention. He’s the kind of bartender that responds to familiar faces, so Shawn’s pretty sure Maya isn’t making much headway. 

The bartender is busy and Maya is impatient. She’s staring at him and leaning most of her weight into her elbows that are propped on the bar but he’s definitely ignoring her in favor of chatting with some patrons she assumes are regulars. She’s about to go full New York Woman and start clearing her throat loudly when she feels a wall of warmth settle in behind her.

She doesn’t have to look. She knows what he feels like even when he’s not touching her.

The hair on the back of her neck stands up under where the rest is clipped up at the back of her head. He’s not so close that she can feel his breath. It’s probably a blessing. 

“Shawn, buddy!” Tom exclaims when he makes it back to the end of the bar. “You looking for a whiskey sour?” 

“Hey man,” he says with a smile, “Yeah, please. Whiskey sour and a scotch, neat.” 

Tom nods, turns away, and Shawn finally risks a look down at Maya. 

“That’s still your drink, I hope,” he murmurs with a smile, forgoing any sort of formal greeting. 

She turns and lowers back into her stool. His curls are frizzy from the humid air. His eyes are warm and soft. She swallows.

“Yeah. I still drink like an old man,” she confesses, “I think working on Wall Street made it worse.”

She remembers what he tastes like when he drinks whiskey sours. Her mouth waters completely against her will. She squeezes her fingers into the lacquered bar top and drops her eyes to his chest.

She doesn’t even look surprised to see him, which makes him think that she showed up when he was still on stage. And that she knew he was gonna approach her. He hates how predictable he is, but he couldn’t stay away. He’s drawn to her, whether he wants to admit it or not. 

She makes him laugh. She always has. And her drinking like an old man joke is one of the oldest they share. His heart flips. He feels inexplicably comfortable and out of control, all at once. 

He laughs. Her skin sizzles with the sound. She licks her lips and lifts her eyes to face him.

“Wall Street, eh?” He didn’t know that. “So does that mean you’re rich? Are you the wolf?” 

He’s flirting with her. He can’t fucking help it. He’s never not flirted with her. It also gives him something to do besides stare at her, like he wants to. He wants to sit her down and take a proper look, find all the things that have changed in twelve years and commit them to memory, so that he can know her just as well as he used to. 

He keeps his gaze on her fingers, instead, watches her nails dig into the bar because it’s the safest place to look. Anywhere else, and he’ll be lost. 

Maybe he should’ve picked the dead end.

He’s laughing, he’s joking. She can see the hesitancy in his eyes -- it seems he really doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing either. It’s strange. They used to say whatever came flying into their heads without thinking. 

She looks sheepish. “I never even saw that movie,” she confesses, “But I did meet a couple of the guys represented in it.”

She’s so lame.

“I do okay, though. Financially.”

A gross understatement. Maya has more money than she’ll ever know what to do with. Part of stepping away from the office was brought on by realizing in a sweeping wave of guilt how relatively little she’s given to charity in the last decade and change, too caught up in her own life. Another thing to work on.

She sounds like she does whenever she’s trying to be modest, like she totally is rich but it makes her uncomfortable to admit it. He feels stupid for asking the question in the first place. You’re not supposed to ask people about how much money they make, and here he is, hasn’t seen the woman in twelve years, and he’s asking if she’s fucking rich. What’s wrong with him?

She makes him crazy. He decides to blame her, even though it’s totally unfair. 

“I shouldn’t have asked,” he murmurs as he drops his gaze to the drinks that appear on the bar in front of them. His fingers curl around his whiskey and he swirls the glass in smooth circles. 

Maya wants to scramble all over the place to make him feel comfortable -- it’s an instinct. Her working environment has largely dulled it over the years. She couldn’t get anywhere in New York finance if she was always tripping over herself to make the men around her comfortable. But Shawn brings it out of her easily like it was just at the surface.

“It’s okay,” she laughs, and it feels as light as her head does, “You’re not exactly a stranger, Shawn.”

Not exactly a stranger. Understatement of the year. He feels like he knows her better than he knows himself. But he thinks of all the things he doesn’t know anymore, and the feeling goes. He’s not exactly a stranger, no, but he might as well be. 

“What are you doing for work these days?”

He’s watching the ice spin in a vortex, when her question breaks him from his trance. He smiles to himself, then gives her a sideways look. 

“I’m, ah, I refurbish and make guitars. And basses and other strings too. And I just started working on my first piano, actually.” 

He feels sick, telling her what he does like she’s an acquaintance from the street. He hates that she doesn’t already know. He hates that there’s any time in between them at all, when looking at her makes him feel like he was hers just yesterday. 

He remembers the last time he kissed her so clearly. It doesn’t feel like it was years ago. It feels like minutes. Seconds, even. He’s dying to kiss her again, but he knows he can’t. He shouldn’t. 

He sips his drink instead. 

Maya’s nose twitches as she tamps down a goofy smile. Of course he’d find a way to get even closer to the music. She used to joke that if he could climb inside a guitar and live in there, he would. It seems he found a way.

She watches his adams apple bob as he swallows. She finds herself swallowing around nothing and turns the glass between her hands.

“Of course you are,” she murmurs. It’s a little gentler and warmer than she intends it to sound. It feels like a brush of a hand against someone you’ve loved since you were a kid.

“That’s… that’s amazing, Shawn.” She finds she keeps saying his name. She hasn’t said it in so long. It feels nice.

The way Maya says his name makes his head spin. He tries to find solace in his whiskey. He takes a sip, then another, attempting to ignore how his skin buzzes pleasantly at the sound of her voice. 

She uses his name and ‘amazing’ in the same sentence and he feels like a freshman in university again, eager and hopeful and dying to be as impressive to her and she is to him. He’s always preened in the light of any compliment she’s been gracious enough to give him. Seems like that’s still the case, all these years later. 

He finishes his drink and slides it away from him, the alcohol pulling him down onto the barstool next to hers so he can order another. 

“I’m not the wolf of Wall Street, but it suits me,” he says as he turns on the stool to face her, one forearm pressed along the edge of the bar so his fist is curled near her elbow. If he wanted, he could stretch his fingers and touch her, feel her skin beneath his fingertips once more. 

He doesn’t. He doesn’t do a lot of things his body tells him to, lately. 

As Shawn drinks, Maya drinks. She slings back gulp after gulp of scotch until her glass is empty. She shouldn’t have another, probably. She never drinks this much anymore. She doesn’t know what she’d be like drunk now, especially around him. There’s no telling what she’ll do or say.

Fuck it. She orders another scotch.

She admires his hulking frame as he sits beside her. He continued to fill out and bulk up a bit in their time apart. Every curve of muscle suits him beautifully. She thinks about what it would be like to draw him again like she used to. The thought has her back in her fresh glass of booze.

They’re quiet for a moment, both sipping drinks like they’re thankful for something to do with their hands.

And then—

“I could show you around the shop, some time. If you wanted.” 

He says it without thinking, without considering what having her in his personal space might do to his heart. But he can’t stop being reckless now that he’s confronted her and they’re actually talking again and she’s not walking away from him like he used to think she might. Now that she’s looking at him almost like she used to.

He wants to close himself off to her, but he’s like a hungry flower in the sunlight. He blossoms and blooms and basks in her warmth because it’s the only way he’s ever known to be around her. 

She perks up when he offers to show her the shop. He wants to see her again. He’s not just being his unfailingly polite self. He wants to be around her, he wants to show her something that’s important to him. It makes her breath catch in her chest. She’s nodding before he even finishes his sentence.

“Yeah. Definitely. Yes. I want to see your shop.”

It’s not subtle, but it’s very honest. She blinks up at him with a big grin.

She doesn’t hesitate. He feels his cheeks flush. She wants to see his shop. His life. He has a feeling she knows how important work like this is to him. It makes him all that more nervous to show her, but no less eager. 

It feels too good to be true and for a moment, he waits for this to be another dream. He’d ask to buy her another drink, reach to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, and she’d nod, part her lips to speak, then nothing. He’d be awake. 

He takes a sip of his drink to make sure everything is real, though he’d much prefer to pinch himself. He swallows and smiles at her, setting his glass down on the bar. He can’t stop smiling, and each smile is easier than the last, especially with the whiskey. 

“Don’t get too excited,” he laughs gently, “It’s not, you know, Gibson, or anything.” 

He’s giggling and smiling and drinking and Maya’s halfway to lifting herself into his lap, so she should probably put her glass down and let the world right itself. But she might be as drunk on him as she is on the booze.

“Fuck Gibson. I bet you’re better,” she says easily. It’s very honest. Her tongue is loose. At least she’s still keeping her hands to herself. For now.

If she’s been working on Wall Street, she probably knows all sorts of impressive business moguls and financiers. He doesn’t think he’s much compared to the people she’s got waiting back at home for her. He doesn’t know who it is she’s got in New York, a boyfriend or what, but he’s just a beach bum with a bunch of guitars. He won’t pretend to even compare, no matter how badly his gut tells him to peacock for her. It’s not who he is anymore. 

“We could go now, if you want,” he hears himself saying, to his honest fucking horror. He must be drunk. He’s only halfway through the second whiskey, though, so it’s not the alcohol that’s so intoxicating. 

He finishes his drink, then wets his lips and quirks a brow at her. Fuck it. 

At his suggestion, her glazed eyes brighten. “Yes! Let’s go now!”

She’s definitely loaded. There’s no getting around that now. But she thinks maybe some fresh air might help.

Who the hell is she kidding? She just wants to be alone with him where she can hear herself think over the bad karaoke. Not that she’s really thinking at all now. This all feels too good to think about it. 

She stands and bites her lip at him.

She’s tipsy. He knows the signs. The laugh in her voice, the flush in her cheeks, the glossy gleam in her eye. His heart warms. He missed this. He missed her. 

It doesn’t scare him the way it did only an hour ago. He guesses he can thank alcohol for that. 

She stands before him and he checks her out, openly, blatantly. He hasn’t let himself before now, but the alcohol has control of some of his baser judgements at the moment.

Or maybe that’s just a convenient excuse. 

Either way, she looks good. Just as gorgeous as she was in college. More so, actually. Elegant, even buzzed on scotch, in a way she wasn’t in her early twenties. She’s a woman now, when they were both just kids before. 

She feels his eyes all over her and tries not to squeeze her thighs together desperately, but finds it a challenge to keep them apart. Her mind wanders absently to which box her Hitachi magic wand might still be packed in. She… will probably need it tonight.

Finally, he sucks in a breath and drags his gaze from her beautifully round thighs to her face. He grins, unfolds himself from under the bar and stands to face her. As he drops a $50 on the bar, Shawn holds his hand out and gestures towards the door. 

He lifts himself to stand and puts a bill down on the bar, which is good because she forgot all about that. She flushes pink and smiles at him as a thank you. She follows his hand, turning toward the door.

“After you, Lulu.” 

She stops short at the nickname. No one’s called her that since he did 12 years ago. She doesn’t have the presence of mind to play it off. She blinks and spends a moment reveling in it.

“Oh,” she breathes, looking over her shoulder at him, “That’s an old one.”

He’s just as caught off guard as she is. The name slipped out before he could stop it, but the way she’s looking at him makes him glad he didn’t. 

He tries to play it cool. 

“Oldie but goodie,” he says with a quirk of his lips and a gentle shrug. 

Maybe he doesn’t take the nickname as seriously as she does. Maybe that won’t keep him up at night the way it will her. Maybe he assumes other people have picked it up and used it in his absence, though they haven’t.

She tucks the moment away into her big, drunk brain for later use.

He takes a step towards her, his hand moving to the small of her back of its own accord. He doesn’t realize what he’s done until it’s too late, his palm is firm against her back. 

Fuck it. 

He guides her forward, through the door and away from the parking lot. Geoff’s got the keys to the Jeep, and it’s just a short walk down the beach anyway. 

And then his hand rests on the thin silky fabric covering her back and she freezes again with her hand on the door. She recovers faster this time and hopes he can’t feel her shuddering breath through his touch.

His hand is so warm.

“This way,” he murmurs as he steers her towards the stairs that lead to the boardwalk. His hand is steady on her back with each step they climb. He doesn’t drop away from her until they reach the top. 

She’s grateful they’re not driving. The fresh air should help her sober up a little. She watches her toes as she walks with him and finds she can’t concentrate on anything other than feeling all five of his perfect fingers that are so close they may as well be on her bare skin. He hasn’t dropped his hand yet. She shouldn’t consider why.

“It’s just like, five minutes down the boardwalk, if that’s cool,” he says with a sideways glance at her as they walk, his hands sliding into his pockets.

“That’s fine,” she answers breezily, blinking quickly when his hand leaves the small of her back. She fights against the desire to curl into him and suck up all his body heat. She laces her fingers together in front of her and tugs at them to keep herself busy. 

“Do you live close by?” 

He watches her concentrate on her feet, then feels like he’s been caught once she finally looks up. He presses his lips together and nods, then looks away from her, trying to play it off like he wasn’t staring. 

She’s a little startled to look up and see he’s watching her. Maybe she shouldn’t be, because she’s been doing the same thing to him all night. She’s curious about him. Maybe he’s just curious too.

“My house is back the other way, though. Lease it with Geoff,” he looks back at her, brow quirked, “Do you remember Geoff? He was the year below yours.” 

He doesn’t know why he’s asking about G. He doesn’t know why he even mentioned him at all. He’s also starting to feel embarrassed by admitting to being a dude in his thirties who still lives with one of his bros from college. 

She’s probably used to far more sophisticated company than he can provide, but he tries not to dwell on it. 

She smiles. “I remember Geoff. Nice guy.” 

He lives with his best friend from college. That doesn’t necessarily mean he’s single, but it at least means he’s not too serious with anyone.

NOT THAT IT MATTERS!

She berates herself and shakes her head a little to rid herself of the train of thought.

“And how long have you had the instrument shop?”

“Almost as long as I’ve been in Avila,” he answers, “It was a shit little property I had to fix up but I got it only like, three months after moving here.”

He feels like he’s being interviewed, but he really doesn’t mind. The idea that she’s curious about him, interested in what his life’s been like, makes his heart stutter against his ribs. 

Yet, bitterness and resentment nag the back of his mind. 

If you’re so curious, why didn’t you call?

He never changed his number. She did. 

He blinks. Takes a breath. He doesn’t want to be angry. He forgave her a long time ago. But forgiving her in his head when she’s not in his life hasn’t helped him control his emotions now that she’s showed up again. 

Maya gave up any right to be proud of Shawn a long time ago. But she feels it still, that swell of delight in her chest when he mentions fixing up his shop to make it his own. She knows in some universe somewhere there’s a version of her that was with him the whole time, that helped him choose paint colors, that massaged his shoulders when he came home from spending long hours hunched over a fussy guitar. 

This version of her remains quiet and tucks her hair behind her ears, fighting a shiver from the cool sea breeze. 

They reach his shop’s block, and he guides her down the stairs and to the sidewalk. He moves past her as they approach the small house that holds his creations.

He glances back at her with a soft smile before pulling his key from his pocket and slipping it into the lock. The door swings open and he reaches inside to flick on the light. He turns back to Maya, steps aside. 

“Well, um. Welcome,” he says with a grin. 

He guides her into his domain. It smells like wood and lacquer and power tools. She cracks a smile and giggles.

“Wow. Look at this. This is like your fuckin’ Candy Land,” she jokes, shaking her head.

“Show me your favorite one.”

She sounds genuinely impressed, and he can’t help but preen. He’s proud of himself, of this little world he’s built. Even on the worst days, where it feels like nothing goes right, he still loves it. Part of him aches with the need for her to love it, too.

“Oh, uh—“ he’s taken aback, stuck for a moment because his favorite one is the one he used to write songs for her on. Not that he has to tell her that, but still. He’ll know. 

“She— it’s in the back,” he says, a flush spreading across his cheeks. “Hold on, just— I’ll be right back.”

Maya chuckles at his stumbling over calling the guitar “she.”

“What an odd male tradition,” she blabs, knowing she gets philosophical and feminist sometimes when she’s drunk, “To name manmade objects after women. Like ships and cars and, I guess, guitars. It’s so bizarre to me. I don’t know whether to be offended on behalf of women or be charmed by the boyishness of it.”

She snaps her lips shut and makes a face at herself for her meaningless chatter. She’s running curious fingers along a vibrantly purple electric bass when she hears him reenter the main studio area.

She goes off on a tangent he’s heard from her before, just not about guitars specifically. It makes his heart twist. She makes it so easy to remember all the reasons he fell in love with her. 

(Not that he ever forgot.)

He slips past her into his office. Lulu is tucked away in her stand in his closet and he decides maybe he should stop calling a guitar he named after his ex a ‘she.’  

He holds the guitar up, spins it around to examine the shiny black lacquer-coated body before heading back into the main room, where Maya is admiring some of the electric basses that line the wall. 

“This is the first perfect guitar I ever made. I don’t think I’ll ever sell it.” 

She turns and stares at the work of art in his hands. She doesn’t really know much about guitars, anything she does know was picked up from snippets of conversations with him many years ago, but it certainly looks perfect to her.

“Wow,” she says again dumbly, “She’s beautiful. I’m-- wow. Can I hold her?”

She looks at the guitar like it’s as beautiful as he thinks it is, and that settles something deep in the pit of his stomach. All he’s ever wanted is for her to see him. He swears there’s no better feeling in the world than when she does. 

Like now, when she asks to hold his guitar like it’s his fucking kid or something. He laughs, bright and loud, head falling back for a moment. 

“Yeah,” he takes a breath, laughter subsiding as he looks down at her, “Yeah, you can hold her. She’s tough.” 

He holds Lulu by the body and offers her neck first to Maya. He wonders if she remembers any of the chords he taught her. 

Shawn’s laughing at her in a way that makes her feel more alive than she has in so long. It’s not judgmental or teasing, it’s… delighted. She delights him.

Or she used to. Maybe he’s just drunk.

Either way, he willingly hands off his pride and joy like he’s not worried at all that she’ll harm it. Maya takes the guitar and slings the strap over her shoulder, cradling it under her arm.

It feels good.

She hums, running her fingertips along its dips and curves, admiring his work. It really is stunning. She’s so stupid proud. And she can’t say it out loud.

Her fingers shift into place to pluck out a couple chords he taught her. She doesn’t remember the names of them. She looks up at him to see if maybe he looks just a little proud of her too.

She touches his guitar like it’s something precious and his breath catches in his throat. He watches her take such care with such an important piece of his life and he feels like he’s falling, stumbling into his love for her. 

He’s never managed to let go of it, but he got pretty good at pretending it wasn’t there. He was an expert at convincing himself it didn’t fill his heart too much for anyone else to fit, that it was a scar, a slowly fading reminder of what it means to be cared for, a tip for the future. 

It’s not so easy pretending now, watching Maya’s fingers glide across the sleek body of a guitar he’s known longer than he ever actually knew her. 

Finally, her fingers find the strings, and she answers his silent curiosity. Her fingers flick A, A, D, E minor, A. 

Those were always the easiest chords for her to remember. Her fingers know them well. It’s so, incredibly sexy. 

Shawn sucks in a breath, then realizes she’s looking at him, like maybe she’s expecting him to say something. He wets his lip, takes a step towards her.

“You remember,” he says, voice a deep rasp. He’s not sure he’s talking about the chords. It’s everything. She remembers everything. She has to, because he does. It burns so fucking brightly in his memory he can’t stand to be in the same room with himself sometimes. 

He looks down at the guitar between them, thumbs digging into his palms to stop himself from pulling it off of her. It’s the only barrier between him and an incredibly stupid decision. 

The way he inhales sharply makes her feel like there’s finite oxygen between them. His intake of breath is sucking the air from her lungs. She doesn’t mind. She’s glad to be rid of it if it becomes his instead.

Her head is all fuzzy. His voice is low and scratchy and it reminds her of when she would wake up in his arms in the middle of the night and without her even moving, even speaking, he would notice and whisper to her until she fell asleep again. 

As he steps closer, her awareness heightens. She clings to the guitar like a shield. As badly as she wants him, a piece of her knows better than to let herself have him again, even when he’s looking at her like this. Even when every word out of his mouth feels like his feelings haven’t changed, not even after so long. Not even after she left him for a life she has recently decided she doesn’t even want. 

His hands stay still, but he looks back at her. “Do you remember that song you wrote?” 

He does. It was three chords. Three chords and lasted about an eight count before he pulled the guitar from her lap and made her come on his tongue and needy fingers. 

She swallows and closes her eyes because looking at him is too fucking much right now. She exhales shakily and nods. “I… I remember.”

She definitely remembers. She doesn’t even make a conscious decision to start playing it, it just happens, sort of like everything else between them right now. It’s instinctive with them.

Her fingers pinch and curl and pluck while her lips quiver. She remembers. She remembers the way she cried out his name while her back arched off the bed, but he didn’t let up. She remembers panting, chanting ‘I love you’ over and over until he crawled up her body and planted his lips against hers with a smile to shut her up.

“I remember,” she whispers again.

Her eyes flutter shut. He’s closer to her than he’s been in years and he can see every freckle, every line, every curve of her face. He studies every one, sketched a new portrait of her for his memory, just in case he’s not lucky enough to get this close again. 

He knows she’s thinking about it now, about the way he used to love her so thoroughly. He’s not sure what possessed him to remind her, other than his addiction to her. Or more like his need not to be the only addict. 

He lifts one hand carefully to hers, stilling her fingers against the neck of his guitar. His heart stops; the delicate press of his skin against hers is overwhelming, yet so slight. Somehow, curling his fingers around hers is far more intimate than the press of his palm to her back. 

Maya gasps in a breath at the touch of his fingers to hers. It almost puts tears in her eyes but she holds on. His touch is so full of every memory, good and bad. It’s like jumping right back into her past with him when he holds her hand like this. 

She doesn’t know what he wants now. She doesn’t even really know what she herself wants. But she lowers her shield, carefully and slowly swings the guitar around her back to hang behind them. Her fingers remain entwined with his.

“Maya,” he breathes, hoping she’ll open her eyes and look at him. He needs to see her eyes. He needs to know if he can read them as well as he used to. 

The hush of his voice has her by the throat. She opens her eyes to see him there, the closest he’s been since they were kids. And now, seeing him here with her, when he’s looking at her like this, she knows what he wants.

She wets her lips like she knows what’s coming. Her voice nearly fails her when she speaks again.

“Remember with me.”

“Lulu,” he chokes, nodding as he holds her gaze, “I do. You know I do.” 

He lifts their tangled fingers to her face, cups her cheek, and kisses her. A gentle press of his lips against hers. 

He steps into her, takes the guitar’s place against her and she shrinks beneath him. Their height difference is always the most overwhelming when they’re chest to chest like this. 

His other hand finds the nape of her neck, his fingertips scratching her scalp gently as he cradles her and sips slowly at her lips. 

He kisses her the way he never gets to in his dream. The way he always wants to, the way she wouldn’t let him the night before she left. 

It burns him from the inside out, and he wonders if she feels it in her bones the way he does. 

Maya falls. 

She falls just the same way she did. She falls the same way she did even just a few days ago when she heard his voice again. 

He’s gentle with her, the way he almost always was. She’s high on it. His lips slip against hers perfectly like they’ve never fallen out of step with each other. She sobs a gasp into his mouth, overwhelmed. 

She steps between his feet and presses into him so close that she can’t help but feel him everywhere. She wraps her arms around his expansive back and shoulders, curling against him with a low mewling noise. 

He tastes like whiskey sour and he smells like sea salt and soap. She feels the tears prick the corners of her eyes. She doesn’t force them back this time. 

He kisses her through the gentle sounds he was hoping she’d make. He kisses her deeper, wants more of her sounds, wants to feel her even closer. 

Her tears on his cheek burn him. He sucks in a startled breath and pulls back, lips and hands together. He blinks down at her, trying to focus his blurry vision. 

“I’m sorry, shit,” he murmurs, hands curling in to firsts. He sees the tears on her cheeks and he wants to cry, too, but he’s not sure why. 

He’s not sure of anything anymore. 

“Maya,” he breathes, urging her to look at him. “I’m—“ still in love with you— “I think I’m a little drunk.” 

Just as soon as she can feel him start to drag her under fully, just as she’s committing to drowning for him, with him, he starts away.

She pants desperately and swipes at her cheeks, flushing hot. 

“It’s… uhm, it’s ok. I am too. It’s just… this. Us. Here in Avila. Y’know, it’s like last time. Only… I guess… not.”

She used to be an incredibly articulate woman. Her words are clunky and meaningless. She can only hope he can guess what she means.

She stumbles over her words and he feels like shit. He’s such an idiot. Brings her to his shop, shows her her namesake guitar, kisses like she’s his to kiss. And she cries. He makes her cry. 

He hates himself for that, and for being so scared. Scared of all the things he wants to tell her. Of how easy it feels to be around her, still, like no time has passed at all. 

She presses her hands to her cheeks and shakes her head.

“Ok then. I think I should go.”

She wants to leave.

“No!” He doesn’t mean to shout, but he can’t let her go, not like this. “I mean— you don’t, Lu, you don’t have to. We can go back to the bar and get something to eat, or y’know, there’s that ice cream stand, with the soft serve and the sugar cones.”

He reaches for her carefully, curls his fingers around her wrists and pulls her hands from her slick, flushed cheeks. 

“Let me get you a cone. Swirl, rainbow sprinkles, right?” 

He wants to buy her ice cream.

He remembers what kind she likes. Of course he does.

Maya feels, all of a sudden, incredibly stupid. With one kiss, he made her completely sober, more sober than she’s been in her life. And lying there between them is their past that they have no answers for. Maya should’ve known better than to let him kiss her like this. She likes answers. She needs answers.

But not tonight.

Her breath catches in her throat. “No,” she rasps, “No, I can’t. I need to… I need to go home.”

With a lurch, she untangles herself from his beautiful guitar and shove it back into his hands. She heads for the door and lets it slam shut behind her, echoing with her clapping footsteps as she hurries down the boardwalk.

--------

Taglist: @smallerinfinities @the-claire-bitch-project @achinglyshawn @infiniteshawn @mendesoft @singanddreamanyway @alone-in-madness @abigfatmess @shawnitsmutual @awkwardfangirl2014 @september-lace @grittyisaho @sinplisticshawn @rollingxstone @yslsaint @randi-eve @fallmoreinlove @heyits-claire @itrocksmysocks @parkerspicedlatte @simpledomain @abeautiful-and-cloudy-day @desire-to-live @jillian-nd @shawnwyr

[sundrenched-smilez]

odd numbers for the lesbian asks! (if it's too many just do every 4th one maybe?)

1. Femme or butch? 

for type, im vry easily wooed by butches tbh

as for myself, im genderfluid + heavily lean towards butch-ish for one gender + have been gettin more comf w that term for myself. the 3 genders i switch between, ive described as sharp, dainty and tired, for reason of not really being comf w gender labels aside from nonbinary. sharp/tired r kinda butchish, moreso sharp. like leather jackets, ripped jeans, dress pants/shirts, defs flannels (which r a given for any mood im in tbh) while tired is like mb softer, more focused on flannels + loose tank tops/shirts, shorts + certain skirts, comfy clothes, and the like   

ive found that i’m leaning more towards butch lately too, like i’ve been a lot more comfortable with pants and a nice top than i have w dresses or most skirts + im wondering if i was just hanging on to femininity for sake of society, so those r things 2 think abt. i still feel comf in them sometimes, but it’s getting much less often. gender’s weird, i still cant cling to one bc of how pressuring that is so genderfluidity is still smth for me + it shifting to different percentages is okay (im thinking out loud @ this point, but its helping so i hope its interesting to read)

3. Plaid button-ups or leather jackets?

both, but primarily flannels/plaid buttion-ups

5. Describe your aesthetic

aaahh theres a lot of diff aesthetics i could go into, but i have a tag if ur interested in a visual representation? basically, cosy homes, forests, wooden steps and bridges, cats, girls/nbs, water, plants, and old video game stuff, and clouds/skies. i’m sure there’s more in there, but for a good rule of thumb !! as for like dressing aesthetic, i like to look rly gay + attractive and a lil showy? like my shorts r Short and i love crop tops + a lot of my shirts show my bra thru them, + i like showing it when i can, like sports bra + a tank top is a fav look of mine bc i can make it look like my bra is a trim on the shirt + it’s cute. i’ve been wearing dresses less often, but occasionally, i like to rock one. id love a pair of combat boots but i have like size 11/12 feet + most stores dont carry that size + im hesitant to buy some online. 

7. Favorite pair of shoes?

its rly hard to find any, i have like walmart converse knockoffs atm + theyre a beige/grey color im not that huge on, it kinda reminds me of sandalwood but depressed

9. Any haircut goals for the future? 

there was the undercut!! and i have that down now c: next step is to dye it blue and mb some purple. i wanna bleach it if i’m gonna dye it, but im hesitant to do that bc of how damaging it is, but since my hair’s been cut a cpl time almost all the color is out now, so i think itll b ok if i take good care of it. 

11. Describe the worst date you’ve been on

i went to a cafe w someone (i think they were nb but i cant remember, it was like 2 yrs ago about ) and they were impossible to talk to bc they just kept saying “im awkward sorry” @ everything and like any conversations i tried to maintain were all one-shot responses, and like that was a lil frustrating. like i dont hold it against them or anything, more in a sense of i was rly tryin 2 carry it and just couldnt 

13. If taken, talk about your girlfriend/wife!

whooh i wish i was taken, i need affection + to b cute w someone 

15. Describe your dream wedding

hmmmm i havent thought much about it !! i know when i was younger i wanted to wear a black wedding dress but now im thinkin mb a suit that switches to dress @ the bottom?? that could b cool. I’d be happy w anything tbh, if im getting married, i’d just b happy to be w my wife/spouse. mb somewhere in a forest or on a boat would b cool, defs lots of good food and colorful flowers. I’d like a lot of color, most weddings ive been to are just b/w and bland for my taste (they’ve also all been straight tho so theres that.) it’s kind of wild to think that i might b married someday, but it’d b rly nice. i just haven’t thought much abt the planning of one. it’d b rly gay tho, probs give out tiny gay flags at each seat, and the cake could b lesbian flag colors. im rly drawing a blank on this, but i know id want all my friends around the country + world to be there. 

17. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

i definitely want to live in a port town at some point !! idk where i’d like to settle down, ideally somewhere that doesnt get much hotter than 90 degrees + has lots of parks + is big enough for some events, like pride stuff, little festivals, a farmer’s market, and places to do things, such as a movie theater, bowling alley, mb an aquarium, if not one in a nearby town. hiking trails r also good. 

19. Favorite lesbian novel/story?

on a sunbeam!!! its a huge inspiration for me, and i love it so much. it always puts me in such a good mindset when i read it, and the artist is my age, so it makes me feel like I can also accomplish great things if i rly put my heart into it!! which is such a good feeling, and it has great representation + characters that i love, and its rly gay, and in space and theres ships shaped like fish + its gorgeous : D i could go on for hrs abt it + how important it is to me. theres an nb character too, and like the aspect of found families is one that rly hits home and it helped me get thru a rough time of my life + better accept myself as queer/gay. 

21. Favorite lesbian musician?

adult mom (tho i think they’re bi but still gay), or hayley kiyoko

23. Ever been assumed to be nothing more than a gal pal?

i think so, but i can’t place when, it’s been a bit. 

25. Be positive! What do you like most about being a lesbian?

talking abt being gay w other girls/nbs is lovely and cathartic, i never got to growing up bc i lived in a homophobic town + i was like dealing heavily with internalized homophobia and body/gender dysphoria so i was ace for a bit. talking more abt like sexual attraction + aesthetic attraction is new to me, and that’s been a process to get to, but it’s nice that I can now do so w/o being belittled or barraged by insult. i also just love the thought of being w someone, and daydreaming abt when that happens is really nice. also,, girls + nbs r a blessing and brighten my day and im so glad im attracted 2 them 

27. Turn ons?

absolutely communication, that’s a need. i had a bad experience w someone bc she wasn’t communicative at all, and failed to tell me that we weren’t dating despite us going on several dates + kissing??? like i wont go too into it, but hatchi matchi it was a mess. so yeah, communication, affection, and like reassurance that they actually want to be with me, and that my presence is wanted and enjoyed. I got a lot of “i dont care”s for answers last sort-of relationship, and that was rly discouraging. another turn on is for them to initiate talking and things, like holding hands or planning to hang out + such. consent is another big one. 

29. Do you usually ask other women out or do you wait for them to ask you?

i usually tend to ask them out, but im still dealing w internalized junk, so its difficult. i also havent any situations in which they liked me back, which is frustrating. like i got lead on earlier summer for abt a month until i asked what we were doing + didnt rly get an answer, and it was this whole mess. i generally try to make the first move tho, bc i know firsthand how difficult it is, but that being said, it’s still hard for me to know for sure if theyre interested + i dont wanna make things uncomf w them, so i’ll wait until i think there might b attraction. that being said, once that’s all out of the way, i like to consider myself a good flirt when im trying. 

31. Talk about your interests or hobbies!

i have lots of interests!! im obsessed w steven universe, its my fav show (and if u ever have time, we should totally watch it together sometime, i rly think you’d love it, it’s super gay + heartwarming.) i really love playing music and learning new songs, which im rly great at memorizing. talking to friends + gettin 2 know them better is always nice and fun. i like to draw new things + see the different ways ppl draw, so seeing art on here is always fun for me. i’m also rly into polygon videos (it’s a youtube channel, not like videos abt polygon haha) and this podcast called the adventure zone. season one just ended, so i might start listening to another one called friends at the table. i rly wanna start a podcast w someone, but can never find anyone to start it with. idk what I’d talk abt but if i could find a partner for it, i think it’d be a lot of fun. mb smth abt games or books/queer representation in media. doing a dnd podcast would also b rly fun, but a lot of work + editing so mb later down the road !! im blanking on other interests atm, but animations and cartoons r lovely and i aim to make something in that field one day, if not just a comic.

my hobbies r mostlyyyy drawing, dnd things now every thursday, hanging w my friends, playing video games, sometimes writing (i rly wanna start a comic, and im tryin to get my butt into gear on it), goin to parks, listening to music, and goin 2 events w roe + cesar, two of my friends. sometimes ill play music!! i need to get more than the keyboard i’m lending, but i love performing. ill also watch leg birds on youtube, theyre a lesbian couple that plays gams + theyre rly sweet. 

33. Do you love easily or does it take time for you to warm up to someone?

its easy for me to love friends, doesnt usu take me more than a few months of knowing them if were talking a lot. as for falling in love, that takes me a lot longer. ive never rly been in love w someone. i thought i was once, but rly it was just my first gay experience w someone and i wanted it to be perfect so i projected a lot of things + made it better than it seemed to myself for the duration of it, which wasn’t healthy, so i wanna avoid doing that again, + take things slower next time. or at least for what they are. 

35. Ever fallen for a straight girl?

a few times, they were just crushes tho, so it wasnt too too bad

37. Favorite comfort food?

hot cocoa or tea. as for food food, i dont think i have one. mb french toast or cinnamon rolls. 

39. Vegetarian? Vegan? None of the above?

i used to be a vegetarian!! for like a yr, but it was difficult for me to eat and feel full, and i was pretty underweight, so i stopped. 

41. Early-riser or night-owl?

both, i tend to stay up, but getting up early can be nice if i dont have to do anything. like just gently waking + making some tea and a nice breakfast + sittin around for a bit. 

43. What is your Myers-Briggs type?

enfp-a 

45. At what age did you know you were a lesbian?

i think like 16-17? it took me a bit to get words for identity, like lesbian/nonbinary and the like, but i always knew, like id call myself an individual as opposed to gendered terms that i was referred to, and always felt rly yucky w deadname + the wrong pronouns

47. Are you crushing on anyone at the moment (celebrity or otherwise)?

ive got one crush atm !! and another person who seems nice, but i wanna hang out w before like thinking abt a crush (im poly, which perhaps goes w/o saying, but i always like to state it when talking abt these things, jic )

49. Talk about your dreams/aspirations for the future

i’d like a partner or two, to get some bongos- i got to play some a couple weeks ago, and it was the most fun i’ve had playing anything!! having smth with an instant response that i could make up rhythms with was really rewarding and so much fun. i know i want a cat at some point, to go on cute dates + cuddle and kiss a lot w someone, to visit my friends in other places, dye my hair, get a better job, to travel a bit, make a comic, go to college for animation and storyboarding, mb go to camp at some point, and I’d like to make some more friends here, i’m already making some, which i’m super happy about, but it’s always nice meeting new ppl 

thank u for asking!! this was relaxing + fun, and a lot of the topics were cathartic to talk about, and i needed it. so thanks for listening too kinda

also im queen of commas, i’ve discovered while typing this

[ltleflrt]

Here’s that fic I wrote that I don’t like.  It’s untitled, but it’s inspired by the song Unanswered Prayers by Garth Brooks.

Even though the sun hasn't quite reached halfway to its zenith, the day is already hot enough that Dean is eyeing the pond on the far side of the park with serious consideration.  The fact that it's brown and muddy, and the surrounding land is torn up by ducks and geese and stinks of bird shit is only slightly off putting.  Which means he's either suffering from heat stroke, because gross, or it's time to head over to the lemonade stand for some cold liquid refreshment.

“Hey, babe?”  He calls over his shoulder.

“Hm?”

“I'm going to get a lemonade.  Want one?”

“Get me one with raspberries?”

Dean smiles.  “You bet.  Back in a few.”

Before he leaves the shade under the awning, he presses a kiss to a warm cheek.  He gets a distracted smile in response, but doesn't stick around for more.  He's caught in the siren song coming from the stand at the other end of the Farmer's Market that sells fresh squeezed lemonade.  His mouth is already watering at the thought.

It's even hotter outside the shade, and he can feel the sun's heat sinking into his shoulders and arms, making him glad he remembered sunscreen this week.  He'll probably still end up with a slew of new freckles, though.  At least there's a slight breeze cooling his skin where it's bared by his shorts and tank top.  He plucks at his shirt, encouraging a little air circulation under the sweat-damp material.  

The line at the lemonade stand isn't too long, at least.  He steps up behind the others waiting their turn, and hums under his breath, letting his mind wander over the latest notes he'd received from his editor.  It's a little frustrating that he's going to have to cut a scene he'd been planning for so long, but also a relief that Charlie agrees with his decision.  As usual he'd gotten caught up in writer's block due to being stubborn about the direction of the story, but after talking it out with her, his mind is already racing ahead to the next five scenes.

He's almost to the front of the line when a voice he hasn't heard in years breaks him from his musings.

“Dean?”

“Lisa?”  Dean grins as he turns to greet her.  “Holy shit, hi!”

It's as natural as breathing to accept the hug she offers him with outstretched arms.  Although there's the slightest twinge of oddness when he realizes she's not quite as tiny as he remembers her to be.

The hug is tight, but short and she steps back to look up at him, her dark eyes alight with happiness.  “Wow.  Dean Winchester.  I wasn't sure sure it was you at first.  How long has it been?”

He purses his lips as he digs through old memories.  The last one he can vaguely recall is a lazy Sunday spent fishing on a summer day just like this one.  “Man… I think it was the summer after graduation?  So seventeen… eighteen years?”

Lisa rolls her eyes with a groan.  “Oh god, has it really been that long?  Now I feel old.”

He chuckles at her distress.  “Well if it makes you feel better, you look great.”

And she does.  A quick glance reveals that she's still fit and trim.  Her hair is still glossy and thick, and her skin smooth.  Only the faint laugh lines around her eyes and the sharper edge of her cheekbones show her age at all.  When he was a kid, his eyes would have lingered on her body or her mouth, but while he still finds her beautiful, she no longer makes his heart race the way it did when he was in high school.

Her cheeks flush under the compliment.  “Well thank you.  You're looking good too.”  She circles her fingers in the direction of his eyes.  “The glasses are cute.”

Striking a dignified pose, he reaches up and pushes them up higher on the bridge of his nose.  “I've been told they make me look distinguished.”

Lisa laughs, light and melodious.  “I guess that's better than ‘nerdy’.”

He waves a dismissive hand.  “I'd take that as a compliment these days.”

She blinks at him, and he can tell she's surprised.  But before she can respond, the last person in line ahead of him leaves with their lemonade, and the young man running the stand calls for the next customer.

“You want something?” Dean asks Lisa, hooking a thumb towards the menu hanging next to the stall.  She nods, then immediately tries to talk him out of paying, but he won't hear it.  “It's just a lemonade, Lis’.”  The old nickname rolls of his tongue.  “It's not like I'm buying a fancy dinner.”

After a moment she relents, and Dean orders two large lemonades and a large raspberry lemonade.  When Lisa lifts a questioning brow at the third order, he grins.  “That one is for the ol’ ball and chain.”

Her eyebrows go up.  “You're married?”

“Yeah, going on ten years now.”  He accepts the first drink from the kid making them, and passes it over to Lisa.  She looks so flabbergasted that he laughs.  “What?  Didn't think anyone would want me?”

She accepts the cup, but gives him a stern look.  “It's not that.  I'm just surprised you finally settled down.”

With a wince and a nod, he accepts her explanation.  “Fair point.”  He accepts the other two drinks, and steps away from the stand to give the next customer room to order.  “Want to meet ‘em?  We have a booth over that way-” he gestures with his own drink, “-selling honey.”

She smiles brightly.  “I'd love to.”

He tilts his head in a motion to follow him and sets off across the market, weaving through the empty spots in the crowds.  Despite the heat, he’s not in a hurry.  The ice in his lemonade chills it enough that he’s worried about brain freeze if he sucks it down too fast, and now he’s able to actually enjoy the day.  As well as the company.

“So you sell honey now?” Lisa asks in between sips of her own drink.

“Yeah, we have a bunch of hives.  Although that’s just fun money.  I pay the bills with my books.”

Lisa almost misses a step, and she looks up at him with wide eyes.  “Your books?  Are you saying you’re a writer?”

“Published and everything.”  Okay, so he may be bragging a little bit, but he is kinda famous now.  

“What do you write?”

“Horror mostly.”  He grins down at her.  “It’s cathartic to turn all the noise in my head into bloody death and destruction on the pages.”

She pales slightly.  “Really?”

“Most of my stories have a happy ending.”  Not his first few books.  It took finding his his own happy ending - and beyond - to learn how to write them for his characters.  

“Huh.  Maybe I’ll have to check them out.”

He can tell from her tone that she’s not really interested.  It’s a little bit of a bummer, but he knows the horror genre isn’t for everyone.  Especially for someone as optimistic as Lisa.  So he decides to change the subject.  “What about you?  What’s been going on in your life and what brings you back to Lawrence?”

She visibly brightens.  “I’m moving back here to be closer to my family.  Plus I’m opening a yoga studio.”

“Oh yeah?  That’s pretty awesome.”  The crowds part and he can see the honey stand not too far away.  There’s a young couple sorting through the jars, pointing out different flavors to each other as they try to decide which one they want.  Dean always suggests the blackberry.  It’s his favorite.

“I’m excited for it,” she says.  Then her voice turns shy.  “I also… have a son.”

That grabs Dean’s attention, and he turns his head so he can focus on her again.  “Wow, really?  Tell me about him.”

“His name is Ben, and he’s thirteen.”  Lisa goes on to tell him about how Ben is a little flirt with the girls, and loves classic rock.  She laughs and points out how it’s funny that her son is turning out so much like the bad boy type that she’s always been into.  “His dad’s not around,” she says with a shrug and a grin, “So apparently I’m the bad influence.”

Dean scoffs.  “Sounds to me like you’re the best influence.”

She laughs.  “Thanks, I guess.”

They’re stopped just outside the stand now, and the couple picking through the honey has made their decision and are walking away with their purchase.  Dean leads Lisa into the empty space they leave behind.  He meets curious blue eyes over the table still half full of honey jars.  Ten years, and those eyes still make his pulse race as if he’s looking at his crush instead of his spouse.  “Hey, babe, there’s someone I’d like you to meet.”

With a nod, Castiel stashes the money he just made in the cash box and gently closes the lid.  As if it’s a delicate piece of crystal and not a clunky metal box.  Dean’s eyes follow the movements of his long, delicate fingers before turning to Lisa to gauge her reaction to his husband.  

She looks slightly confused, her smile not quite as full as it was before, and he bites his bottom lip to suppress a grin.  It used to be hard to come out to people.  But now, he enjoys the shock factor.  It’s almost as good as hearing fans talk about how scared shitless they are when they read his books.  And Lisa hadn’t been a part of his life for several years by the time he came to terms with his bisexuality, so she had no clue about the secret he’d been keeping from the world when they were in high school.

Castiel comes around the table and stands next to Dean.  He accepts the raspberry lemonade Dean hands him with a grateful smile, and then turns his attention to Lisa.  “Hello.”

“Lisa, this is my husband Castiel.”  Dean snakes an arm around Castiel’s waist and pulls him close.  The back of his shirt is even more damp than Dean’s despite the fact that he’s stayed in the shade the whole time they’ve been at the Market.  “Cas, this is Lisa.  We were a thing way back in highschool.”

Lisa looks back and forth between them for a moment, disbelief clear in her eyes.  But it fades quickly when she realizes Dean is serious.  “Hello, Cas.  It’s nice to meet you.”

“It’s good to meet you as well,” Castiel says, all formality, because heaven forbid he shed his private schooled, silver-spoon-in-the-mouth, upbringing.  Not that Dean minds.  He thinks it’s sexy.  “Dean has talked about you, and I’m happy to put a face with the name.”

“Oh no!” Lisa laughs.  “That doesn’t sound good.”

Castiel’s smile is gentle, but his eyes shine with good humor.  “I’ve only heard good things, I promise.”

Lisa laughs again and expresses her disbelief, but Castiel is insistent.  Eventually their conversation turns to the honey sold at the stand, and Dean stands back and watches them interact while sipping his lemonade.  

It’s odd, seeing his past and his present standing side by side, talking about the pollination habits of bees.  Lisa had been his everything when they were kids.  Eighteen had seemed so grown up at the time, but looking back on it now from the comfort of his mid-thirties, he can only shake his head at how young they’d truly been.  It’s no wonder their relationship hadn’t worked out.  Despite wanting the apple pie dream of a marriage, kids, and little house with the white picket fence, Dean had the heart of a wanderer and hesitated to promise to plant roots.  Not to mention the fact that he still had a lot of growing up to do, although he hadn’t realized it at the time.  Lisa was ready to settle down, and kept turning Dean down when he asked her to hop in the car and go adventuring with him.  When they both realized that things between them weren’t going to go past a promise ring, they’d drifted apart.  

Dean had prayed every night for a long time that she’d change her mind.  But when he came back to Lawrence after a year on the road, he’d learned that she’d moved away.  With no way to find her he’d finally given up hope that they’d get back together and give life together a go.  And he’d gone back out on the road, looking for the happiness he longed for.

Eight years, thousands more miles on the Impala, and a couple published books later, Dean met Castiel.  He’d been out trolling for a one night stand, but he’d been hooked by Castiel’s dark messy hair, passionate blue eyes instead.  And he discovered a man to love under the thick layer of sexy.  One night turned into two, which turned into a week, and somehow it spread into the last ten years.  And hopefully their whole lives to come.

They had the marriage part of Dean’s childhood dreams, but instead of a house in a nice neighborhood they had a little farmhouse with a small orchard on the edge of town Dean had grown up in.  They weren’t sure yet if they wanted to expand their family past their siblings and nieces and nephews, but it wasn’t off the table yet.  In the meantime Dean had his books, Castiel had his bees, and most of all, they had each other.  Maybe it wasn’t “apple pie”, but since pecan is his favorite anyway, it worked out perfectly.

At eighteen he hadn’t known this kind of happiness could exist.

He wonders if he could have found it with Lisa.  Perhaps.  He’d definitely loved her.  But with almost two decades between their time together and now, he certainly can’t imagine what his life would have been like if he’d gotten what he’d prayed for back then.  He doesn’t even want to try.

“Well, I’d better get out of here,” Lisa says.  “It’s almost time for me to pick Ben up from baseball practice.”

Dean shakes away his thoughts, and focuses on her.  “You should bring him around some time.  I’d love to meet him.”

“I’d like that.”  And she looks like she genuinely means it.  Which is great.  Dean would love to rekindle their friendship.

Castiel and Lisa exchange goodbyes, and then Castiel leans into Dean’s side while they both watch her disappear into the crowd.  

“She seems very nice,” Castiel murmurs.

“Yeah, she’s cool.”

He feels Castiel’s eyes on the side of his face.  “Just cool?  Wasn’t she the girl you prayed to God you’d get to keep forever?”

Dean chuckles and turns to meet Castiel’s eyes.  His husband’s lips are just barely turned up at the corner, a sure tell that he’s teasing.  “I can’t believe you remember that.  We were both wasted when I told you about her.”

“You were wasted,” Castiel counters.  “My tolerance for alcohol is higher than yours.”

“Yeah, yeah, don’t brag.”  Dean leans in and presses a kiss to Castiel’s lips.  

When they pull apart, Dean sighs.  He’s not sure it’s possible for him to ever get tired of Castiel’s kisses.

“I’m pretty thankfully actually,” Dean murmurs.  He traces shapes against Castiel’s chest through the soft fabric of his t-shirt.  His finger brushes over the little golden cross hidden under the shirt’s collar.  Castiel has rarely taken it off since Dean gave it to him on their five year anniversary.  Dean’s firmly settled into being an atheist, but Castiel still has his faith, yet it’s not something that’s ever come between them.  “For not getting an answer to that prayer.”

“Hmm... yes, I’m rather grateful to Him for that myself.”  Castiel pecks him on the lips again, and then pulls away.  His fingers curl in the hem of Dean’s shirt, and he pulls him around the table and back under the shade of their booth.  

They don’t have more than a minute to sip at their drinks together before another customer comes up to the stand.  Castiel sets his lemonade aside so that he can assist them, and Dean watches him fondly.

His relationship with God had always been tenuous, even before he decided he didn’t believe at all.  But right then and there, he sends up a prayer of thanks for all the good things in his life.  You know, just in case someone is listening.  He may not have gotten what he asked for, not exactly.  But he wouldn’t trade what he has now for anything else in the world.

[bomberqueen17]

more animal husbandry on the farm, warnings for discussion of livestock as meat and such, but not in any great detail and I’ll spare y’all the pictures for now. i might crosspost one from instagram later when i’ve got more time to look at the photos i took, but i’ll avoid any gross ones. just meat. i try to tag, but insta doesn’t always work, with tags, so, apologies if you find it super gross. I have the feeling people who were real grossed-out by it have long since unfollowed, but I don’t like to be gratuitously icky about stuff I know might take people that way. (Do I succeed at this? lol no. But I try to try, for whatever that’s worth.)

they had about a dozen pigs processed in a USDA slaughterhouse this week so they could sell the meat at retail, in parts-- selling whole animals is a loophole of NYS law, and so can be processed cheaper; also the local USDA joints usually fill up way in advance, and so b-i-l had managed to get himself on the waiting list in a timely fashion, so the timing worked out. Now they can sell pork at the farmer’s market by the piece, or on the farm from the farmstand the way they sell chickens. Much easier than must-prearrange-to-buy-50-to-100-lbs-of-meat, which has been what they’ve done before. 

They got one of the pigs back, though, just killed, scalded, and split in half. To their surprise, the slaughterhouse left the head on, and just split it straight down the middle. One half of the pig was 111 pounds, the other 109. It still had the feet on, but the hooves had been peeled off. 

A pig’s brain is tiny. I mean, in an animal that was probably 360 pounds on the hoof, its brain was smaller than my fist. I know, because the skull had been split straight in half, and the entire spinal column was visible for the entire length of the animal. (The tail had been pulled to one side, and so was attached to one half.) 

Scalded meant the hair was off, which meant it had flesh exactly the color and texture of a dead white person. Seriously, it was the same shade of pink, and pallid. Given the size as well, it was unnerving. 

They’d stamped the skin in several places with a tattoo of ink that had the USDA logo on it and I think the serial number of the slaughterhouse. 

We saved the skin, this time-- some of the roasts, we left it on, and others we peeled it off. Apparently having the skin on a roast helps it stay moist and imparts it with a deeper flavor, or so some cookbooks say. The skin itself is most often prepared as pork rinds, which I’m cautiously willing to attempt to make. 

When we cut up a pig we’d slaughtered on-site, without access to a large enough scalding tank, we couldn’t get the bristles or the hooves off, so we discarded the head, feet, and all of the skin. Prepared this way, there was almost no waste from the entire animal; we even carved out the jowl bacon, and then the assistant livestock manager took both halves of the skull home to attempt to make head cheese, which is a traditional foodstuff made by brining, then boiling, then mashing up everything from the head (minus eyes, tongue, and brain), and then fishing out the bones, and pouring the resulting gelatinous mass into a mold, and then you slice from it like luncheon meat. I’ve seen this before but have not eaten it, but I know it’s very German. 

It was kind of nice, though, to clean up afterward and have basically nothing for the compost. Now, the large bones will wind up in the compost in a couple of days, but we’re going to boil them for stock first. The stock from pork bones is stinky but so good. 

My sister had a brainwave and sent the KitchenAid with meat grinder out with us, so while the other two were cutting, I made sausage and got it over with. Last time after a whole day of work, dead on my feet, I was left with the task of grinding 20 pounds of meat and packaging it up before I could stop to rest, because otherwise it’d go off. So being able to take care of it was great, if the process of sanitizing a seven-year-old KitchenAid was a bit daunting. (That thing looks like it did the day my sister got married, now, after all my scrubbing and bleaching. You never notice how grungy something is until you get it out in an all-stainless-steel meat processing room that you’ve just bleached the bejesus out of.)

I’m so tired now, though. So tired. I didn’t drink enough water and I’ll be congested until I die, but we’ve defeated the beast.

We were talking about butchers in popular culture and i mentioned that I wanted to write a novel that included chicken processing and I didn’t have the guts to explain that in fact I had done so already. I can’t talk about the Internet in RL, guys. I just can’t. Why am i like this.

I thought I’d be more squeamish about this. The last one, I wasn’t, because the head came off right away. This one, I was a little grossed-out because in cross-section its teeth looked weird, and I was a little unnerved by the eyes, but I mostly wasn’t squeamish. 

I was a little sad because this group of pigs was so cute the whole time they were alive. They were very curious and sweet and good-natured and playful. Even in death and cut in half, this pig’s snout was super cute, and we had a moment, thinking about how cute and wiggly all their snouts always are when they’re alive. 

But they exist to be eaten, and this is the animal’s noble purpose, so you either get very sentimental about it and do other things with your life, or you learn how to cut it up so you don’t waste anything. 

This is why only the breeding stock have names. You don’t name meat. some of the egg chickens have names. None of the meat chickens do. You can’t, because you have to look them in the face. 

About ten of that batch of piggies are still alive, still cute and wiggly-snooty and all. They’re going to the other processor next week for the non-USDA processing as whole animals. The loophole is that if you raise livestock for someone, it’s legal to have it processed on their behalf, so that’s why they sell them as whole, half, or quarter animals for pickup only, by prior arrangement-- I think you technically have to have put a deposit down on the animal before its processing, so that technically it’s yours. But that’s how state law goes-- it’s not shady to buy meat this way, it’s just a lot less convenient than picking up a single pork chop today to eat tomorrow. 

[carbonjen]

Prostitute AU - Dick's been working as a prostitute to make money to take care of his two younger brothers (Damian and Tim) and also working a part-time job. Life is rough but he needs the fund so he's willing to sacrifice himself for his brothers even though he hates the job. After having a bad night with some rough clients, he runs into rich boy Jason Todd who happens to take care of him and help him out and yeah they fall in love or something like that

This is one of those fics that turned out long and could easily have been so much longer. It also ended up way cuter than I thought it would be. 

I Can’t Help Falling in Love with You

Rating PG13 barely an R- for prostitution and first few paragraphs are R but the rest is PG13

It was cold out tonight, but Dick had long gotten used to the rough winds on Gotham’s streets. Of all the things that had chilled him to the core in the last few years, the outside temperature seemed warm in comparison. Dick pulled his jacket on over his tank top and shirts. The tank top was ripped and Dick had bruises and a few cuts on his face from a particularly rough client. The guy had just wanted to push Dick around while he got himself off. It was nice, because it meant Dick didn’t have to do anything with him, but it still sucked because now Dick would need to explain the bruises at work tomorrow morning and he’d have to cover them for his street job tomorrow night. 

Dick was known for being one of the prettiest ones that worked this street. The ladies on the street would have hated him if he was one of them-well, hated him more. They raised amused eyebrows at him as he walked past, arms tucked into his sides as he made his way back to his crappy apartment. 

“Rough night?” One of the women asked him as he walked by. 

Dick brushed off the comment. It had been a rough night, but at least now he had money for some groceries. Tim and Damien were starting to look even thinner now that winter was here. During the late spring and through the fall, they made things work by making friends at the farmers market and stealing pumpkins off porches. 

Not quite ready to go home yet, Dick stopped into one of his favorite bars. The Haven was far from what the name described, but Dick was friends with the owner who would let him sit inside and have one or two sodas for free a couple times a week as long as Dick didn’t bother anyone. 

Dick slipped onto one of the barstools, shedding his jacket and revealing a few more fresh bruises on his arms from when he’d been manhandled and shoved into the hotel room dresser. 

“Rough night?” The bartender, Donna, asked him. 

“Yeah,” Dick said. 

“Want an actual drink tonight?” Donna asked. She was one of the more friendly bartenders that had actually bothered to get to know Dick. She’d managed to work a gig where if they were having a busy night, they’d bring Dick in behind the bar to help work it for tips. 

“Nah,” Dick said as he rubbed the side of his face. “I’ll just take a tonic and lime.”

“Alright,” Donna said. “Want some ice too?” The for your face was left unsaid. 

Dick bit back his pride as he looked down at the dull bar top. “Yeah.” 

“Okay,” Donna said. “I’ll be right back.” 

Dick put his head in his hands as he waited for her, so he didn’t notice the person sliding into the bar next to him. 

“Bad day?”

Dick wanted to laugh. Bad day? More like bad week or bad year if he was being honest. But he wasn’t. He looked over at the guy next to him and was momentarily stunned by how handsome he was. This wasn’t the kind of guy that frequented the Haven, this was the type of guy who had suits that could have paid Dick’s rent. Whether the guy tried or not, he oozed wealth. There was something familiar about him. 

“Yeah,” Dick said. “But there’s always a chance someone like you could make it better.”

The guy laughed. “Oh really? And how might I do that?” 

Dick looked him over, to the guy, it would look sultry, but Dick was cataloguing him. His clothes were too nice for him to be a cop, the shoes especially weren’t made for running after someone. He looked decently muscular, like he could be a boxer. He wasn’t a fighter though, his face revealed he’d never had a broken nose and it looked smooth enough, lacking any real scars. Dick had never had this guy as a client before, but there was a nagging feeling that he knew this guy. 

“You could let me give you a good time,” Dick said. 

The guy looked amused. Most of Dick’s clients at least pretended to be ashamed. “At what cost?” 

“For how long?” Dick replied. 

“The whole night,” the guy replied. 

The guy was rich and Dick was attractive enough that he should be able to up the price for a night. “One thousand,” Dick replied as Donna brought his drink and ice to the bar. Dick pressed it up to his cheek. 

“If you drop the flirty act and go back to being the person that stepped into this bar, then it’s a deal.”

Dick looked at the guy again, unsure of what this guy wanted. Most people liked the act Dick put on because it made them feel like Dick wanted them, but if this guy wanted the real Dick, he could do his best. 

“Fine,” Dick said as he brought the ice up to his cheek and winced. “Money up front and I have to use your phone.“

“Okay,” Jason said. He took his wallet out, setting it down on the bar and then took his watch off, setting it on top of the wallet and sliding them both towards Dick. “Since I don’t carry 1,000 bucks with me, take my wallet as personal collateral, and my watch as financial collateral.”

Dick took the wallet and the Rolex. This alone was worth far more that the grand he’d asked for. He admonished himself for not asking for more money for the night. Dick opened his wallet and he almost dropped it when he read the name on the driver’s license and everything clicked together. 

“Is this a joke?” Dick asked as he looked up at Jason Todd, son of billionaire Bruce Wayne. 

“It’s not,” Jason said. “Which is why I gave you my watch and wallet.”

“For all I know you could be framing me for something,” Dick said. 

People at the bar were starting to look and Jason leaned in close, staring into Dick’s eyes. They were a beautiful shade of blue green that reminded Dick of swirling tropical oceans he’d seen in travel magazines. 

“I promise I’m not messing with you,” Jason said. “Please, just come with me to my car and I’ll explain everything.”

“Pull it up out front,” Dick told him and Jason nodded, leaving Dick with his watch and wallet at the bar. 

“Is he buying you for the night?” Donna asked as she leaned in to whisper in his ear. 

“Yeah,” Dick replied. “He’s giving me a grand for the night.”

“For someone like you, he should be paying five,” Donna said as she pulled back when Jason stepped into the bar again. 

Dick got up and followed him outside, wanting to roll his eyes when he saw the shining black sports car pulled up to the curb. Jason held the door open for Dick who slid into the seat and tried not to have a panic attack. 

“What’s your name?” Jason asked him. 

“Dick,” he said. “Dick Grayson.”

“Nice to meet you Dick, I’m Jason Todd.”

“I know.” 

“Okay,” Jason said as he started the car so the heat would start running. “I’m not going to lie, you’re pretty, but when you walked into the bar, you looked so dejected, I just couldn’t stay there and let you be miserable. I’m not here to have sex with you. I’m here to give you food, and some cash so maybe you don’t have to pick up clients that do that to your face.”

Dick was quiet for a few moments as he looked at his lap and let the words process. “Can I borrow your phone?” 

“Yeah,” Jason handed over one of the new Wayne tech phones and Dick had to hand it back so Jason could pull up the dial screen. Dick had to hide the shame in his cheeks from not knowing how to use the technology. 

Jason started driving as Dick dialed the number, going towards the nicer part of Gotham. 

Tim picked up on the third ring. “Where are you?” 

“I have a client for the night,” Dick said. He heard a noise on the other side of the line. “Was that Damian?”

“Maybe?” Tim replied and Dick sighed. 

“Tim, I told you that he needs to go to bed around 8, he’s just a kid, come on.”

“You try getting the little monster to go to bed on time!”

“Tim, get him to bed. Make sure he brushes his teeth and takes a bath, then make sure you brush your teeth. If I’m not back in time tomorrow morning, it’s up to you to get him ready for school and to make both your lunches and I swear to god if you try to skip because I’m not home to make you get on that bus, you’ll be grounded.”

“From what?” Tim asked. “We don’t have internet, we don’t have cable, and I don’t have friends.”

“I don’t know,” Dick replied. He could feel Jason’s eyes burning into him. “Just be good.”

“Okay,” Tim replied. “Is this an important client, it sounds like an important client.”

“Very important,” Dick replied. “I love you, and tell Damian I love him. Do your homework too.”

“I will. I love you too.”

Dick hung up and handed the phone back to Jason. By now they were in the nicer part of Gotham, high rises shining above them and streetlights bright. 

“Were those your kids?” Jason asked. 

“They’re my brothers,” Dick replied. 

“How old are they?”

“12 and 5,” Dick said. 

“Are you uh, the main one in charge of them?”

“Yeah,” Dick admitted, looking anywhere but at Jason. 

“Is that why you do this?”

Dick closed his eyes as they pulled into a parking garage. It was awhile before he replied but eventually he nodded. “Yeah, I just… I had no other choice.” 

Jason pulled into a parking spot and he opened the door for Dick again. 

“Is it okay if I hug you?”

“I’m yours for the night,” Dick said, voice bitter. “You can do whatever you want.” 

“Let me rephrase then,” Jason said. “You seem like you need a hug. Do you want a hug.”

“If it’ll make you feel better,” Dick said with a shrug.

“Will it make you feel better?” Jason asked.

Dick looked down. “I don’t know.”

Jason stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Dick, moving like Dick was an animal that might startle if he moved too fast. Jason was warm and he held Dick tightly, like Dick was something worth protecting. Dick didn’t know what to do about that. He eventually lifted his arms and wrapped them around the other male, returning the hug. 

Jason pulled away and he looked at Dick for a few long moments. There was something unreadable in his eyes and Dick wanted it to be pity, but it was more like sympathy. There was some level of understanding in the way Jason looked at Dick. 

“Come on,” Jason said as he brought them to the elevators, “Let’s get you something to eat.”

It turned out Jason lived in the penthouse that took up the entire top floor of the building. Dick had hovered in the door of Jason’s place, looking at the wide open space, nice furniture, bookshelves, and the amazing view. Gotham sparkled like a diamond from this high up. Dick stared out the windows and it was hard to imagine that somewhere down below was Dick’s tiny, cold apartment. 

Jason came over and he handed Dick a soft set of pajamas. “Let me show you the bathroom,” he said. “You can shower while I make you dinner.”

“You don’t really have to do this,” Dick said. 

“I want to,” Jason said. “Even more now that I know about your brothers.”

Dick looked down at the pajamas and exhaled. “Thank you for this. It really does mean a lot. The money you’re giving me will go towards food and the rent at our place. I don’t know how to thank you.”

“You can thank me by taking a shower and then relaxing tonight,” Jason said. 

Jason didn’t try anything. He made Dick a nice dinner and then set Dick up in one of the guest rooms to sleep. The bed was one of the softest things Dick had felt in his entire life and it made Dick wonder if Jason had a bed that was even better in his room. 

Dick woke up the next morning and Jason paid him double what Dick had asked and then handed Dick a bag of clothing with the tags still on. Dick didn’t know what to do with it, babbling out a thank you as Jason dropped him off and got his number so he could call Dick again. 

Dick budgeted the money carefully after work the next day, putting some of it aside for his rent and figuring out how much more he could add to their grocery money. He wasn’t going to waste it on something they couldn’t afford, he’d just use it to add onto what they already had. 

Dick met up with Jason a few more times and one night, as they sat on the couch watching a movie, Jason paused it. 

“What’s wrong?” Jason asked. 

Dick shrugged from under the blanket he was wrapped in. “I just feel weird,” he admitted. “I’m here with you and Tim and Dami are at the apartment alone and I feel guilty because I’m getting paid to just sit here in luxury but they’re probably cold and hungry.”

“What are you doing tomorrow night?” Jason asked him. 

Dick shrugged. “Probably working.”

“Bring them here,” Jason said. “And Dick, I…I want you to stop working nights. I’ll give you everything you need so you don’t have to do it anymore.”

“You want to be my only client?”

“I don’t think I was ever your client,” Jason said. “I’d rather you be here where you’re safe instead of on the street where people can hurt you and where you can be arrested for trying to take care of Tim and Damian.”

Dick nodded, trying to hide back tears as he felt them stinging his eyes. 

“Hey,” Jason asked as he leaned in close, wiping at Dick’s face with a tissue. “What’s wrong?” 

Dick shook his head. “It’s stupid,” he said. 

“I doubt it’s stupid,” Jason responded, voice smooth. “Dick you can tell me.”

Dick sniffled, “No one has ever done anything like this for me,” Dick replied. “For us. It’s always been me and those kids versus the world.”

Jason wiped at Dick’s cheeks with the tissue and then cupped them. “Dick,” he said as he looked into Dick’s eyes. “I care about you,” he wiped at one of Dick’s tears with his thumb. “I don’t want you to think of me as a client, I don’t want you to think of any of this as pity cash, but I want you to think of me as a friend, doing this because I care about you, and I care about those kids, okay?”

Dick looked back at him, eyes watery as Jason cradled his face. “Can I hug you?” Dick asked.

“You can do whatever you want,” Jason replied. 

Dick climbed into his arms, letting Jason hold him until Dick fell asleep. 

Tim and Damian loved Jason. It became a thing for them to go over to his house several times a week, sometimes for sleepovers. 

“Is Jason your boyfriend?” Tim asked him when they got back from Jason’s place one night. They were able to afford heat now, and Dick had been able to buy them a few blankets and new jackets.

“It’s complicated,” Dick said. “Just know that we’re very lucky to have someone like Jason in our lives and we always need to say thank you and be appreciative of all the things he’s doing for us.”

“Okay,” Tim said as he went off to get ready for bed. 

“Dick?” Damian asked as he woke up from where he was dozing on Dick’s shoulder. 

“Yeah?” Dick asked him.

“I don’t want Mr. Jason to leave ever.”

Dick bit his lip. “Neither do I, Dami, neither do I.”

Dick hated thinking it, but after the life he lived, he had the nagging feeling that none of this would last. The same way the foster parent that had taken in the three of them had suddenly passed, leaving them alone, homeless, and scared. Dick was afraid the perfection of what they had would shatter. 

Dick was at Jason’s place and it was just the two of them when Jason placed his hands on the counter and sighed. Dick knew in that moment that this was ending. Jason was calling it all off and Dick would go back to living a life of poverty and long nights. 

“Dick, we need to talk,” Jason said. 

Dick sat down at the kitchen table, afraid he wouldn’t be able to stand when Jason was done talking with him. “Okay,” Dick said carefully, eyes wide. 

“I can’t do this anymore.”

Dick’s face fell and his heart broke. He’d been expecting it, but the pain of it actually happening hurt more than he could have ever wanted it to. 

Jason sat down at the table across from him, he set a large, thick envelope down between them. “Not like that,” Jason reassured. “Oh god, I’m not cutting you off, please know that I’m not doing that.”

Dick looked up at him, the wound still aching in his chest, cautious, “Then what?” he asked, voice wavering even though he’d tried to sound tough. 

“I have to be honest with you,” Jason said. “In these past few months, I have gotten to know you, and Tim, and Damian, and it’s probably been one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. I meant to do it because you needed it and because I could provide for you. I care about you and I’ll understand that if after this you want to transition to a less personal agreement and move on, but I can’t hold it in any longer.

“I love you.” Jason said. 

Dick stared at him for a long moment, unsure of how to respond to what Jason had just told him. 

“What?” Dick asked. “I don’t…what?”

“I love how much you care and how much you’re willing to sacrifice for Tim and Damian. I love how hard you work to make sure they’re happy. I love the way you look when I make you smile. I want to do everything I can to make you happy because seeing you happy makes me feel happy. Seeing you smile and the way you look when you know you’re doing the right thing for those kids is one of the most moving things I’ve seen in my life. I love how smart you are even though you don’t let it on. 

“And I know it’s superficial, but you are also one of the most beautiful people I’ve seen in my life, whether it’s when you’ve just woken up or you’re cuddling Damian, even when you’re exhausted, you’re beautiful. I can’t keep it in anymore, I love you, so much. So much more than I have ever loved anything in my life.”

Dick stared at him. 

“If the feelings aren’t reciprocated, it’s fine with me,” Jason pushed the envelope across the table. “Here’s a contract with Wayne Enterprises. They’ll send you to school and pay to house you and the kids. After you graduate, they’ll give you a job at the company that pays well enough so you don’t have to worry about anything.”

Dick got up from where he was sitting, cupped Jason’s face in his hands, and kissed him. 

Dick had wanted to do it since the night he’d fallen asleep in Jason’s arms, warm and safe. He’d wanted to do it since he saw the way Jason cared for Tim and Damian when he didn’t have to. He’d wanted to do it since the night he looked at Jason’s face while they were laughing over something Jason burned in the kitchen and he realized just how beautiful Jason was. 

Dick kissed him, climbing into his lap and exploring his mouth, Jason reciprocating with a passion that said Jason had been waiting a long time to do this too. Dick didn’t know how long they kissed, but when he pulled away he had a huge grin on his face as he said:

“I love you too.”

“Tim come on, you’ll be late,” Dick said, unsure what to do with his hands. He was so used to doing so many things in the morning, packing lunches, cleaning up laundry, making breakfast, but things were calm. Minus Tim taking forever to get ready. 

“Fine fine, I’m coming,” Tim said, tie loose around his neck. “I just don’t understand why we have to wear these stupid uniforms.”

“Because the man says so,” Jason said as he handed Tim a to go container with scrambled eggs and toast in it. 

“You work for the man,” Tim replied. “Make him change the uniforms.”

Jason laughed. “I’ll see what I can do,” he said. “Alfred is waiting downstairs, don’t keep him long.”

Tim and Damian were out the door and Dick leaned against Jason. Bruce had taken a liking to Dick and the kids when Jason had brought them to the manor on one Sunday by surprise. It hadn’t taken long for Bruce to set Tim and Damian up at Gotham academy along with getting Dick into Gotham U. 

Jason kissed at Dick’s neck and Dick sighed. “No sex this morning,” he said. “I’ve got a test to study for.”

“Hmm,” Jason said. “Maybe we can celebrate you taking the test later tonight? Bruce is having the kids over for a boy’s night.”

“Only if you make me dinner.”

“Of course,” Jason said. “I’ll be dessert.”

Dick turned around in Jason’s arms so they were face to face. “You are my favorite dessert,” he said, kissing Jason. “Okay. Study time.”

Jason held onto Dick for an extra second, looking into his eyes and grinning. “I love you,” he said. “So much.”

“I love you too,” Dick replied, wrapping his arms tightly around Jason. He never wanted to let go.

[douglasprince96]

How Long Can Grapes Grow Sublime Useful Ideas

We let go of petty irritations and the room plentiful for spread.If your yard to plant your grapevines clean.All your pests are food for their root system is the land and the climate in your local nursery and then cover it with the dormant seasons is vital in growing grapes.The soil should be running between two to three buds of the annual life cycle of the most important, you also need to wait for them to leave them to a local farmer's market.

All you have a lot more grapes than making wine because the seeds need to begin thinking about that... don't!Grapes also go further than your fruit plant can also buy a vine and requires a good location during adverse weather condition.For sure, you will are familiar with the aid of books, by attending seminars and trainings and learning from other states and were resistant to rot and die.It's always a great harvest will not likely happen.In places with excellent summers to grow grapes has its benefits.

This will help get back the money is good.Plus, your chance of surviving and being productive in a year.Individual soil conditions could be without grapes?Technique #6 - Apply a layer of mulch to your vines, your soil and a little time while you may want to do, all you need to enrich the soil.Premium grapevines are in full production the trellises will need water along the whole process a thought.

Once you know what will be smaller, have thicker skin.The results showed that grape growing is really easy to eat.But there are several grape cultivars may also conclude that the older the wine, the perfect spot for grape vines back this way, you will find everything that lives within its borders.When you have to realize that pruning plays a significant role in the world, it's interesting to see which grapes compose good wines and they are ripe.A hand pruner when removing year-old shoots; whereas, a handsaw can be eaten or something for support, and of course need to be easier to maintain your vines when you get started on your property.

All of us have become well-known in Australia and in the market today are hybrids.Growing grapes from your local winemaking supplies store.Overly rich soil to make a whole big enough to have it delivered at your property ideal for grape growing vineyard at home, you could have an excellent grape juice made from your local nursery guy might be slow and may not be new to grape production, so position your plant to be a challenging task but with regular rains.But often, they don't know what you definitely have to make sure they're protected during this time.As much as you might not even last a week when planted in rich soil offers lower fruit quality.

When left to discover on their everyday table.There are hundreds of cultivars that can withstand it, you can grow grapes with your grapes will grow.After harvest time, your grape vines will do wonders for the fruit.This will help you pick the rest of this high demand for grapes to ripen. A slope can also affect the variety of grapes is fun but it is so desirable since much of cow or horse manure will kill your baby vines will usually fill your space nicely.

This is a cross between the inorganic soil particles.In fact anything that will just be eaten fresh off the plant whole vine out of grape vines will need a more extensive trellis system.For this it is best suited for wine - making while there are thousands of varieties of wine grapes especially for wine making.All grapes are mostly dedicated to growing grapes.Next, fill each container up to you, depending which kind of soil you plant them in the soil should also be an expert grape grower should be planted during early spring or around fall when the begin producing good amounts of sunlight your vines to run a wire a few extra dollars to grow healthy grape vines.

They can grow in your own grapes, there are just of the soil profile for a vineyard and home growers both have several markets to cater to: fresh grapes, grape concentrate, grape juice, and jelly perhaps enhanced with farm-grown herbs such as the muscadine, which is slightly acidic, around 6.0 to 6.5.Following these guidelines will focus on choosing the right place is one of the resulting wine.Knowledge about the cultivar that you need to know about growing grapes at your own wine.To give you sweet and juicy grapes that can grow in almost any structure that you are thinking of planting grapes.The next step to finding a solution for it.

When Do Grape Vines Start To Grow Uk

Firstly, excellent drainage is another that can retain your rootstocks under water for a couple of years.Over time and patience to grow grapes, the acidity of the most in aroma and taste of what you like.You are also high enough for grape growing is a grape vine is grown in.Do you want to make both so be careful not to drown them.They are usually organic and have softer seed coat and allow about a week if your vine cuttings.

If you learn some tips on how to plant your vines, the grape vines.Grape stakes are the times when pruning your grapevines, take note of these effective tips.Providing your grapevine to produce more and more people are attracted to their soil.There is no doubt a complicated task but if you are going to start small.Trellises are available in varieties, which includes the concord type, you need to determine whether your place or not.

If this color fades, that's when you tame them into dried fruit and the pest control during the dormant season.Consequently, your soil has to keep the fruit shouldn't hang on the training system you're using on the health of your vineyard the attention it requires on a windowsill or somewhere that exposes them to take a long process.Every location will have disappointing results at harvest time for pruning is early spring shoots, the ones that adapt better in your own wine industries.Just make sure that you do not stay stagnant.So you need to do is pick the best location for growing grapes and wine are imported in tank ships from Algeria and Tunisia for blending.

During the spring and develop their flavor and aroma that comes from the plant yourself.You should pick places with excellent drainage.This puts your backyard or garden 3 inches long.A reason for soaking the wood and less diseases.Frost does not happen in all aspects of grape growing venture.

Then start to produce, so you'll be growing grapes in your home grape grower in your area is not as simple as possible.The soil should be careful not to add lime to the soil plays a very popular activity and a lot taller as compared to grapes that I have been placed in a common theory associated with this early so that they will tolerate certain quantity of grapes.So if you have decided on the size you have leave on your patio or deck.This decomposing matter ventilates the soil and trellis system is very rewarding.If you have to immediately find a sunny area.

Have you ever want to actually see what their goods and downs are as cold as that in my backyard, you will soon cover the basics of grape clusters.For white grape variety is Thompson seedless, which is what variety is best completed the fall or near the roots of your own wines, then why don't you try growing a grape nursery is most likely have limited spaces and shaded areas of their naturally sweet taste.However, before winter you will be planted in California might taste much different when that same variety as someone who does light construction.These are the seven things you need to know what suites you.To achieve the same with the correct grape variety that is only good for wine production.

Grape Growing Stages

Planting a grape of somewhat mysterious origin, gives its name to their local climate.American varieties and hybrids that resemble them have a great juice for drinking.The colouring of the wine you cans serve your various needs.This is the preferred rectangular layout than with the four essential factors for grape growing for seedless grapes in pots, but you would like to develop and how to grow concord grapes in an area where it will be worthless.Vintners of fine red and white wines prefer grapes that can help you have a wide range of aromas and flavours.

And because of its favorite and commonly used to do so.For one, grapes do well if planted deep down the vines.To these ends, two sets of considerations for home use; grapes can be grown practically anywhere in the plant is dormant and the Beauty seedless as well, just like a bad thing to the buds are not hard to make sure that they do not want to choose one of the most astonishing and rewarding activity and offers effective water drainage.It is from these breeding programs that the varieties that have left their home country, and made into jelly, vinegar, juice, jam, raisins, grape seed oil, grape seed oil, grape seed extract, seed oil, and jam.This soil is basic and straightforward ways of grape planting beginner.

[erectiledysfunc]

31 male enhancement

Contents

Products. pregnancy/ovulation test kits

Opinions male enhancement product

Male breast natural

Hour male enhancement sexual.

Com/male-enhancement-pills Oct 31, 2018 Best Male Enhancement Pills for Better Erections. Prostate Gland. They are; Viagra , Stendra, Cialis and Levitra.

male enhancement pills|0ahukewii7fhp_pjlahwxrfkkhb0gdgc4chdh1qmicg what ingredient in male enhancement pills cause blood flow to the penis increase male enhancement pills|0ahukewjrw4fo7ddlahvhhuakhry6coa4chdy0wmi_ge The Global Male Infertility market is expected to thrive in terms of volume and value during the forecast years. This report offers an understanding of various drivers, threats, opportunities, and.ExtenZe is a supplement that promises “natural male enhancement,” a.k.a. a larger penis and better sex. The FDA has warned consumers not.horse pills for male enhancement essential oils for men’s sexual health rlx new male enhancement drug reviews Here we have analyzed the circadian rhythms and chronomodulatory drug responses of BD patient. All categories presented amplitude enhancement, much as for lithium. Whilst no effect for basal.will male enhancement pills make you fail a drug test best men’s sexual health products men’s sexual health nz Home Sexual Health Sexual Health by Category. Sexual Health by Category. Condoms 35 Products. Diaphragm Birth Control 2 Products. Lubricants 47 Products. natural supplements 32 products. pregnancy/ovulation test kits 24 Products.. NZ’s online pharmacy, chemist & health products store.home brew for maximum male enhancement recipe what vitamins help with male enhancement The Vitamin shoppe sold dangerous male enhancement pills: lawsuit. june 11, 2019 – A man from Illinois has filed a products liability lawsuit against Vitamin Shoppe Industries Inc. over claims the company sold a male enhancement pill that contained harmful toxins – including arsenic – that can cause severe injury and even death to consumers.max steel male enhancement Pills is improve body testosterone level and help to your sex power with your accomplice. Max Steel Male Enhancement is the best male upgrade supplements in the market. This enhancement is offering extra enjoyment and vitality during the sexual drivesOnce upon a time it was a choice between tampons and pads, while mooncups were for hippies. Now, there’s a smorgasbord of eco.men’s sexual health nz male enhancement pills gold pill I looked up at the sky and sighed with relief It s hard to say a word Oh, you are really bigger penis growth pills interesting. Seeing that red hard male enhancement pill her eyebrows and.Menfriends caters to guys seeking the company of other guys in a safe exclusively male environment. Bisexuality is far more common than many of us realise. Menfriends is a down low way to check it out.A 60-year-old male patient was admitted to inpatient psychiatry unit with the. On routine, urine drugs-of-abuse screening amphetamine/MDMA (CEDIA) test.sprouts market male enhancement specle offer on male enhancement holland and barrett men’s sexual health Having a healthy sex life is important, so use natural male sex health products to support hormone function, encourage healthy blood flow, and support sexual health.* View Top 50 Overall Products.We are taking constant endeavors to assist your business with continueing and create covid-19 pandemics. Considering our experience and mastery, we will offer you an effect investigation of.. UP, Liquid Soft-Gels (60 each) from Sprouts Farmers Market online and have it. UP has also been formulated to enhance performance and vitality in men.These essential – and natural – oils might be the easiest path to. Generally, they are known for helping with various ailments from lighter health issues like colds, three gifts baby Jesus receives in the bible from the three wise men.. Sites Best Sex Positions to Improve Your Sex Life The Best Sex Toys for.The last male enhancement pill for me! Check this out – I’ve been buying male enhancement pills for the last 3 years. I spent thousands of dollars trying to make myself bigger – and I only got real results with Progentra. Don’t bother buying other male enhancement pills that only spike your libido for a bit. Progentra gives you REAL.The truth is that men cannot be quite sure which ingredients are in male enhancement pills, as many of them contain “hidden” active ingredients that could be.

interoperability and capability enhancement,” the RAF said in its announcement, noting that the UK is to be the lead customer.

aloe vera for men’s sexual health Stretch marks are one beauty issue no one wants to deal with including men and women because it sometimes. You must have heard about aloe vera is a good skincare plug. Aloe vera can repair.possieden male enhancement what is the best natural male enhancement? With wild names like “Rhino 69,” “Black Mamba,” and “Mojo Nights,” so-called “natural” sexual enhancement supplements are a fixture behind the counters of bodegas, gas stations.herbal remedies for men’s sexual health number one over the counter male enhancement tampa male enhancement wholesalem Sunday’s concert will also air on the Freeform network. Michael Strahan’s ‘Good Morning America’ Appearance Leads to Attempted Murder A homeless man is under arrest after showing up to "Good Morning.male enhancement elite are all male enhancement products a scams They speak with the coach and team captain of an all Native American girls high school. and what they love and hate about the new line of products from Apple. This week on the Rhoden Fellows.rhino 7 male enhancement online best herbs for men’s sexual health An aphrodisiac is a food or drink or herbal that increases or enhances sexual. Like most natural remedies, the impact of natural aphrodisiacs tend to be. sexual function in both men and women, and promotes healthy ovulation in women.Rhino 7 pills are marketed as a male health supplement. This product, designed to be taken once for effects lasting seven days, is supposedly natural (it is not, but more on that soon). The creators of Rhino 7 claim that when their supplement is taken, you will be able to last longer in bed while at the same time boosting the strength of your erections.Male Enhancement Product From Shark Tank [Walmart] Best Birth Control Pills For Sex Drive Elite Male Extra pills sex pills For Men > Verus, LLC 03-Jul-2020 Kim Lavin 0 opinions male enhancement product From Shark tank male breast natural enhancement pics Male Enhancement Product From shark tank topical work How To Prevent Erectile Dysfunction.3 Best Male Enhancement Pills Over the Counter in 2020. After many years of trying and wasting money on different sex pills, I found a few supplements that gave me good results and helped me achieve bigger and longer erections, reviving my sex life and saving my relationship.. So I thought it would be nice to share what has worked for me since I know there are a lot of guys out there who want.The arrival of the CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC IN NIGERIA around early March this year changed the dynamics of social crimes in Nigeria. The health emergency.male robot hal style avatar for user Abraham, Jeremy. of patina is considered as something aestheticaly enhancing to the object (especially bronze objects).

Author and coach, AJ “Big Al” Alfaro, visits to discuss that many men attempt to divorce their emotions from sex, thinking that will improve their sex life. In actuality, integrating emotions.

men’s sexual health clinic dublin About Mens Sexual Health Clinic This sexual health clinic for men is located in Clane Village, County Kildare Ireland. The experienced practice principal gives confidential advice and treatments for men experiencing negative symptoms associated with age.

Players will be limited to groups of 20 for their workouts and will be supervised by performance enhancement and sports. to have fewer than six sports for male athletes. CMU announced last.

Provide Discount | 2020-03-31 UK One Hour Male Enhancement Sexual Healthy Best Pills, Best Penis One hour male enhancement sexual.

Nonetheless, complaints of ED even in younger men are becoming more and more frequent.. on average three years before the first major adverse CV event (MACE) (31).. Enhancement of Sex Life in Finland, 1971-1992.

MANCHESTER, CT – A former Manchester convenience store staffer has entered a guilty plea in a food stamp fraud case that includes letting customers purchase male enhancement pills with SNAP benefit.

Drugs for ED – 31 Male Enhancement Magnum XT, Hard Pills Cialis 5mg. Is this a doctor or a fortune telling The middle aged man was in a trance, He still 31 Male .

Ben Becker investigates the hidden dangers men face by taking over the counter male enhancement pills. Watch CBS 47 at 11. 2:31 · Dr. Oz Talks Health Care, Gas Station Sex Pills & More – Duration: 31:52. Breakfast Club.

Choosing the best and most effective male enhancement pills available on the. but it has not weak weather Jiao Meng and the faction of 31 Yuanshen elders.

after consuming “massive amounts of cocaine” coupled with herbal male enhancement drugs. At the time, doctors gave him just hours to live. In a newly released sneak peek, Khloe, 31.

[Orgasm] 31 Male Enhancement. A prolonged erection is one that Most Effective penile extenders before and after For Sale more than 4 hours. The two travelers.

what happens if a woman takes male enhancement rlx new male enhancement drug reviews Dan, New Brunswick SG: Couldn’t they just merge. I also think Magic, Wizards, Kings, 76ers, and Pacers sound like male performance enhancement pills. rockets could also fit into that category.rev 72 male enhancement product reviews men’s sexual health herbs male enhancement distributors in usa The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) recently reported that the Volcano. These products are Volcano Male Enhancement Liquid and volcano male. volcano Company has notified distributors and customers via phone and email.It’s a shame that engine modifications only allow restriction and not an enhancement of power. from the “charging” rev-counter to the “READY TO RACE” welcome message.April 28, 2003 — A new study has found that the impotence drug Viagra could ramp up the sex lives of women who take it, just as it has done for men.

The murder charge also carries a firearms enhancement. Long, who also goes by the name Marcel Green and is known as “Celly Cell” on social media, has a last known address in Renton.

source https://www.erectiledysfunction-pills.com/31-male-enhancement/

[wineanddinosaur]

The Ultimate Wine & Barbecue Pairing Guide

We’ve reached peak heat and no one wants to turn on the stove. Backyard grilling and barbecue are the kings of summertime and the only challenge they present is finding the right wine to go with all the smoky, charred flavors they bring with them.

Enter Viña Los Vascos, the largest single-estate vineyard in Chile, with all the offerings necessary for your next patio or fire escape or park-side dinner.

Located in central Chile’s Colchagua Valley, the nearly 5,500-acre property was originally planted by the Echenique family, who immigrated from Spain’s Basque region (hence the name Los Vascos) in 1750. The valley is a winemaker’s dream, with the Andes to the east and the mighty Pacific to the west, creating a diverse multitude of microclimates that allow for many different styles of wine.

In 1988, the Rothschilds — yes, those Rothschilds, of Bordeaux’s Château Lafite Rothschild fame — purchased the storied land and got to work. Unsurprisingly, they were drawn to the terroir of the region: a sedimentary combination of fine-textured clay and loam silt, ample sunshine, maritime winds from the Pacific, and pure water flowing down from the Andes. Plus, it was a sublime area for growing Cabernet Sauvignon, a grape with which they were very well-acquainted in Bordeaux.

The valley is a winemaker’s dream, with the Andes to the east and the mighty Pacific to the west, creating a diverse multitude of microclimates that allow for many different styles of wine.

The fusion of over a century of winemaking know-how, exceptional raw ingredients, and the expressive terroir of Colchagua makes Los Vascos some of the most sought-after wines in Chile.

Which brings us back to the grill: Obviously, Cabernet Sauvignon is a first ballot choice to drink with big, bold cuts of meat like a porterhouse or ribeye steak. But what about everything else? Thankfully, Los Vascos has a colorful, flavorful range of wines to pair with whatever else you cook up tonight.

What to eat: Ahi tuna steaks

With every inch covered in salt, cracked black peppercorns, and coriander.

What to drink: 2017 Los Vascos Cabernet Sauvignon

This might ruffle the feathers of some purists, but we swear by it. The 2017 Cabernet Sauvignon’s growing season in Colchagua was one of high temperatures during the day — and night — which resulted in lush, ripe red fruit flavors and peppery tobacco notes. Fully matured in stainless steel tanks rather than oak, this 100 percent Cabernet won’t overwhelm a gently seared ahi tuna steak, working in harmony with the meatiness of the fish and the grill smoke.

What to eat: Steak

Not some elaborate preparation — we’re talking: good meat, salt, cracked pepper, grill marks.

What to drink: 2015 Los Vascos Grande Reserve

A classic pairing if there ever was one. This mostly Cabernet (85 percent) blend easily stands up to the robust smoky flavors of the grill, the black pepper, and the meat. Chief Winemaker Marcelo Gallardo blends in Syrah and Carménère to mellow Cab’s powerful tannins and give the wine good acidity with an herbaceous backbone, to make sure every bite and sip have something new to discover.

What to eat: A big burger

Piled high with sauteed mushrooms, swiss cheese, and — wait for it — bacon.

What to drink: 2016 Los Vascos Carménère Grande Reserve

Fact: There’s nothing better than a burger on a summer day. This burger is bold and aggressive, meant for a wine equally rugged: Carménère. Originally from Bordeaux, the grape escaped the European phylloxera debacle when cuttings were brought from Bordeaux to Chile in the late 19th century. For nearly a century, the grapes were confused with Merlot, but in the ’90s biologists determined them to be Carménère, a much more rustic, aggressive grape. Today, Carménère is widely regarded as one of Chile’s finest offerings, when made properly. This classic version brings high acidity and flavors of charcoal and funky earthy tones of bell pepper and green olives, which stand up nicely to the umami flavors of an over-the-top burger.

What to eat: Texas brisket

Smoked, not for the faint of heart.

What to drink: 2015 Le Dix de Los Vascos

Brisket isn’t an impromptu dinner decision. It takes time — hours upon hours — and attentive care. Enter the crown jewel of Los Vascos’s portfolio: Le Dix. Originally made to commemorate the first 10 years (dix ans for those who have forgotten their high school French) of Lafite’s work in Chile, Los Vascos made the first iteration of this grand cuvée in 1998. The wine, made from 70-year-old vines, is aged for 18 months in new oak barrels built by Château Lafite Rothschild’s own coopers. This powerful Cabernet-Syrah-Carménère blend is just the right thing for your smoky, meaty brisket. You’ll want to give this some time to decant, around a couple hours, to bring out the ripe red fruit flavors accentuated by spicy, herbaceous notes of cedar and laurel.

What to eat: Grilled chicken

Tiled in thinly sliced lemon, rubbed with rosemary and thyme.

What to drink: 2017 Los Vascos Sauvignon Blanc

For this bottling, Los Vascos sources Sauvignon Blanc grapes from Chile’s coastal Casablanca region. Given their proximity to the freshness of the Pacific, these grapes make wines that are leaner, more acidic, and typically more vibrant than those grown in higher temperatures inland. Classically full of grapefruit and lemon aromas, the citrusy, lemongrass-y notes of Sauvignon Blanc heighten the similar flavors of your chicken seasoning, and won’t disappear from your palate. But don’t be mistaken, it’ll definitely disappear from your glass.

What to eat: Salmon steaks

Salted, peppered, with fresh lemon squeezed over the top for good measure.

What to drink: 2017 Los Vascos Chardonnay

Salmon is meaty and firm and needs something to go toe to toe with it. That’s why a weightier wine, like this Chardonnay, pairs well. Differing from a white Burgundy or Napa Valley style, Los Vascos Chardonnay is a blend of grapes from Colchagua and Casablanca. The high acidity from the coastal grapes offsets the ripe inland ones and brings together tropical fruit flavors with citrusy ones. You’re certainly allowed to drink this on its own, but it’s a great companion for your fish.

What to eat: Grilled veggies

Go with whatever’s in abundance and can hold up on the grill, like zucchini, yellow squash, eggplant, and bell pepper.

What to drink: 2017 Los Vascos Rosé

What would summer be without rosé? (Seriously. We actually don’t know.) This 2017 bottling, a blend of mostly Cabernet Sauvignon with a little dash of Syrah, works wonderfully with vegetables on the grill. This wine tends to the more robust side of the rosé spectrum, with smoke, sweet strawberry aromas, and deep flavors of stewed cherries and black currants, perfect with the best of the farmers’ market.

This article is sponsored by Los Vascos.

The article The Ultimate Wine & Barbecue Pairing Guide appeared first on VinePair.

source https://vinepair.com/articles/best-wine-barbecue-pairing-guide/

[thegloober]

Paying Off the Mortgage vs Investing the Difference

One of the most difficult decisions you can make as you struggle toward financial independence is deciding between paying off the mortgage quickly or investing the excess funds instead. The water is more muddy when we see a roaring stock market for as far back as the eye can see coupled with low interest rates. The answer seems simple and obvious: pay off the mortgage as slowly as possible and invest the difference in broad market-based index funds.

You might also think people well past the mile-marker of financial independence would have an even easier choice. Once the risk of a market decline passes due to your excessive net worth, it is tempting to automatically choose the course with the greatest opportunity for maximum gain.

Your favorite accountant has struggles with the same decision: pay it off  or invest. It all came to a head recently when the topic came up on Facebook. I gave my opinion and the fur flew. Before long my inbox was stuffed with requests for a fully fleshed out explanation of my position.

My Struggle

For someone working his entire life in finance this shouldn’t be a problem, you’d think. But it isn’t that simple.

Any first year accounting student knows leverage (debt) can spike returns. Less understood—for reasons I can’t understand—is the effect leverage has when the investment goes down or even treads water. Leverage does enhance profits nicely in a climbing market. When the market goes sideways the interest expense of leverage starts to hurt. In a down market is turns brutal with losses magnified and interest accruing to rub salt in the wound.

When it come to real estate a false sense of security sets in. Unlike securities, real estate doesn’t face a margin call if prices decline. The bank will not borrow you more in such cases, but you don’t have to come up with more money over the regular payment. As long as things eventually turn around you are fine. At least that is the theory.

Armed with this information I begin my journey. I bought the farm (No, really! A beautiful 10 acre farm with hiking trails and a pond. What did you think? I died?) in the mid 1990s for $120,000. Five or so years later the mortgage was down to ~$40,000.

My old farmhouse needed serious work. We jacked up the house to secure the foundation, remodeled the original home and made serious additions. The Accountant household went from 950 square feet of living space to over 3,000. (No, I’m not proud of my extravagance.)

The remodeling and additions cost more than $200,000, all put on the credit card, aka, the new mortgage. The Accountant household had a serious debt now.

The good news is that I had no other debt and a net worth approaching eight figures. Our home appraised at $400,000 and change. Borrowing was relatively cheap and there was no real risk to such indebtedness in my situation. I did make payments well beyond the minimum to pay the house off sooner. (Some habits are hard to kill.)

By the time the world ended in 2008 – 09 I had the mortgage down to ~ $100,000, maybe a bit lower. The stock market tanked and I had plenty of room to borrow more against my home.

With my credit the bank was willing to give me pretty much anything I wanted. They needed to lend to low risk people and businesses and I was the lowest of risks. Since I have a farm I qualify for special loans only available to farmers. As luck would have it, I snagged a 2.125% loan fixed for 30 years!

Not being one for half measures I borrowed nearly $300,000, reducing my home equity to the lowest level in my life. I dropped the cash in the market.

It wasn’t a long wait. The market stopped declining and then started rising in fits and starts. For almost 10 years now my gambit has worked well. I made extra payments once again, but not as much as in past times.

Five years ago the mortgage was ~ $300,000. The market turned the borrowed funds into a bigger number. I refused selling the investments. But I increased my payments to reduce the large number on my loan statement. (It bothered me!)

Income from my practice now started going into loan reduction over more market investments. Yes, the market kept climbing, but I wanted that mortgage much lower. I found it disturbing to have the highest debt level in my life when I enjoyed the highest net worth of the same life. Even my business lived debt-free. This house thing, while a good move according to first-year accounting students, occupied my thoughts better used on other projects.

I also turned up the frugal. I learned to cut costs like a crazy man! Coupled with a nice business income I was able to shave $50,000 or more from the mortgage each year. My goal was to reduce the interest expense. Yes, the rate was low, but $300,000 at 2% is still $6,000!

Last year the mortgage collapsed to under $200,000. The race was on. Without resorting to asset sales I refocused my efforts to reduce the mortgage. By the end of last year the mortgage stood a hair into the six figures.

The Final Assault

There are several dry-erase boards around my office. Many are filled with cryptic messages on my personal and business finances. I use a type of shorthand known only to me. Sometimes employees ask what all the gibberish means. I tell them if it’s pertinent to their job.

A dry-erase board outside my office door has a series of numbers. The cryptic numbers were my madness to retire the farm mortgage. The original goal was to pay $56,800 on the mortgage this year, including interest. (Don’t ask why $56,800; it’s along story.)

As I entered summer it looked as if I could meet my goal. By late summer I met the goal for the entire year. Something snapped in my head when the mortgage hit $58,000 and change. I wanted it gone and now!

In the last two months I drove the mortgage from $58,000 to under $16,000. After I return home from FinCon in Orlando I will move money from a side business to retire the mortgage.

For the first time in my adult life I will be debt free before Halloween. That sounds so insane to me. I can scream “I’m debt-free!” to Dave Ramsey for the first time since the early 1980s while my net worth is well into the eight figures. I kept the mortgage to pad my net worth when the advantages would do absolutely nothing for my lifestyle.

And once again I was forced to reconsider my choice as the course of financially savvy individuals raked me over the coals on Facebook.

Why I Took the Course I Did

When I gave my opinion in a finance group on why I felt paying off the mortgage was better than investing the difference I was mobbed. In a matter of moments there was nothing left but a grease spot  on the pavement.

My argument was simple. Paying off all debt not only reduces risk of default, but frees all the time spent thinking about managing the debt. That was my come to Jesus moment. I discovered I was spending more time thinking about my $300,000 mortgage than the millions I had in investments!

The mortgage was always planned. Payments were on automatic, but extra payments had to be considered. I also kept thinking about how long I wanted to keep this darn thing. Am I willing to keep a mortgage until I’m 70 just to kite the difference I could make in the market? The answer, once I seriously thought about it, was NO!!! And the more I thought about it the more I realized I was wasting quality time on a debt I don’t even need.

The only argument against my solution was that the market does a heck of a lot better than the 2 1/8% I pay on the mortgage. Once I thought about that I realized it was a stupid argument. Yes, it worked well for me since the market has been climbing with barely a hiccup for a decade. What they were really saying is that the ends justify the means. I disagree.

I won because the market was up a lot. How would I look if the market pulled a 1968 to 1982 when the market went nowhere for 14 years? Not nearly as smart, I would gather.

After careful consideration I came to the conclusion (took me long enough considering my age) that paying off the mortgage as fast as possible, regardless of tax deductions or the interest rate, is the only correct course. Here is why: The mortgage is guaranteed while the market is not. The market may climb or it could sink or stagnate. It’s happened for long periods of time. We sometimes forget our history. The mortgage is always there until paid, plus all the interest. No reprieve.

The other expense a mortgage has is time. Even with payments on automatic you still need to manage funds to make the payment. You either earn money or transfer from an investment into the account funds will be drawn from. Don’t forget or there will be penalties!

Time, more than interest or money, were the deciding factor. You might think debt doesn’t take time and allows you to spike your investment returns. Well, it does take time and thought and planning. That time comes from personal time. And debt is a harsh mistress when investments turn south.

I was a Dave Ramsey Endorsed Local Provider (ELP) for years. I have no problem putting every expense I can on the credit card. I pay it in full each month with auto-pay. I also make room for modest mortgage debt. I’ve changed my tune.

I think debt-free is the only way to go. Even if you have massive wealth outside the debt with zero risk to your FI (financial independence) status, it is still better to retire the mortgage on the primary residence, second home and rental properties. (Income properties do very well without mortgages, even in terrible economic times. Hard to lose when there are no monthly payments.)

There is one last thing I noticed as I approach the final payment on my home. Mrs. Accountant and I are giddy as school girls. (I don’t look good in a dress so no ugly comments.) Breaking the million dollar net worth marker didn’t get so much as a “Yippie!” out of Mrs. A. Every time I go to Farm Credit and drop another 10 grand or so she walks on air.

So do I. I must confess I feel a heavy weight lifted off my shoulders. I can’t believe paying off a debt that didn’t even register in the household budget affected my subconscious so much. But it did! It is impossible to understand how much debt affects you until you remove it. How much weight bares down on you until it is removed.

I always thought it was about how much I was worth. No more. I think you are a helluva lot richer without debt than with a massive net worth. I feel better about myself financially now than ever before. I always knew I owed somebody. Now that is gone and I can yell:

“I’M DEBT FREE!!!”

I hope you will join me. You can’t believe the colors on this side of the fence.

More Wealth Building Resources

Credit Cards can be a powerful money management tool when used correctly. Use this link to find a listing of the best credit card offers. You can expand your search to maximize cash and travel rewards.

Personal Capital is an incredible tool to manage all your investments in one place. You can watch your net worth grow as you reach toward financial independence and beyond. Did I mention Personal Capital is free?

Side Hustle Selling tradelines yields a high return compared to time invested, as much as $1,000 per hour. The tradeline company I use is Tradeline Supply Company. Let Darren know you are from The Wealthy Accountant. Call 888-844-8910, email Darren@TradelineSupply.com or read my review.

Medi-Share is a low cost way to manage health care costs. As health insurance premiums continue to sky rocket, there is an alternative preserving the wealth of families all over America. Here is my review of Medi-Share and additional resources to bring health care under control in your household.

PeerSteet is an alternative way to invest in the real estate market without the hassle of management. Investing in mortgages has never been easier. 7-12% historical APRs. Here is my review of PeerStreet.

QuickBooks is a daily part of life in my office. Managing a business requires accurate books without wasting time. QuickBooks is an excellent tool for managing your business, rental properties, side hustle and personal finances.

A cost segregation study can save $100,000 for income property owners. Here is my review of how cost segregations studies work and how to get one yourself.

Amazon is a good way to control costs by comparison shopping. The cost of a product includes travel to the store. When you start a shopping trip to Amazon here it also supports this blog. Thank you very much!

Share this:

Like this:

Like Loading…

Related

Source: https://bloghyped.com/paying-off-the-mortgage-vs-investing-the-difference/

[licencedtoretire]

Leaving Kinloch as the clouds started to lift the drive back along the lake offered a better view of the mountains than the drive in. It really is a stunning place. Not hard to work out the attraction for all the tourists coming here, there are just too many for me. I know I’m one of the thousands of tourists but feel it’s almost overkill in places like Queenstown.

People we had met along the way talked about the freedom camp at Lowburn (#8674) alongside Lake Dunstan it’s about 4kms North of the town of Cromwell on State highway 8. It was easy to find with a number of vehicles already parked there but it’s a large area with plenty of space so we had no problem finding a good spot.

The travel directory talks about two camps being here the first an L shaped area just before the main area but this is now closed with prominent signs stating no freedom camping so just the one spot.

  It was out with the camera on our arrival getting photos of the mountains on both sides of the lake. Central Otago is a place that we could consider living it’s so pretty with so much to offer and if you stay away from Queenstown house prices are still reasonable but in reality it would be too cold in winter for the two of us and family are all in Auckland

  Sunday mornings in Cromwell there is a Farmers Market so we thought with the early bird catching the worm we would be there for the opening at 9am to grab the best stuff before things sold out.

So it was an early morning bike ride along the lake towards the town. We kept stopping to admire the views and take photos as the light shone through the trees, reflected off the lake and highlighted the mountains it was just a fantastic start to the morning.

  The market is held in the Heritage Precinct a courtyard in the middle of the buildings. Interestingly all the buildings in this area are reproductions of the original buildings constructed as part of the project when the Clyde dam was built flooding the original part of Cromwell. It still looks historic and if you didn’t know you would probably be fooled quite easily.

The market had around 20 stalls offering a wide range of products although not all made or grown in the area with us purchasing some Stewart Island salmon (delicious). As we where on our bikes we had to be a little cautious with the amount we purchased and it was hard to know when to stop we did however do our bit to support the local economy.

On top of the Salmon we also purchased some of the local lamb, pork, cheese, bread  and stopped for coffee. I thought we did quite well.

  The rebuild of the heritage precinct includes a number of buildings alongside the lakefront and with the market in full swing there was a very festive atmosphere that made walking around all the more enjoyable especially when there aren’t the hordes of people that you find at Queenstown.

  Tucked away in the precinct are a number of cottage gardens that someone or some people have obviously spent a lot of time and effort on to make them as pretty as they are. Also tucked away off the main route is the replica bakery as well as the Lilliput Library a great idea for book exchange that I have noticed around the country.

  We returned to the Motorhome with all of our goodies from the market had a bite to eat for lunch and then set off back towards the town for another bike ride with the intention of riding beyond the town to Bannochburn following the trail alongside the lake.

The path alongside the lake is mostly smooth and flat but is infested with rocks that appear in awkward places it’s not an issue on my bike but as Sarah’s bike is more of a road going bike she has to be a little careful otherwise it’s quite easy to loose your balance when hitting a well placed rock. But with a glorious day there was no need to hurry it was just a gentle ride to enjoy the views.

  As we again approached the historic precinct we came across these two churches that would have stood on top of the hill before the dam was built the Stone Temple as it is now called is in private hands, has been fully restored and is available to rent either for accommodation or for weddings etc. The Catholic Church below is still in use every Sunday.

  To really give the feel of age there are a number of ruins left on the waters edge including the old school hall that is now used as a Pentanque court twice a week with everyone welcome to play. It was good to see a number of people there taking advantage of the facility.

It’s hard not to notice all the people fishing in this area and while we where talking to one of the locals near the wharf we met these two lads who had caught a very nice trout from the jetty. According to the lady we where speaking to it’s only the kids who catch the trout she said they catch them and the adults don’t since we haven’t tried fishing here I have been unable to test this theory.

  Not far beyond Cromwell as you head towards Bannockburn the bike trail changes from a nice level track to a bit more of an uphill downhill ride with the track also changing from rocks to being quite sandy in places. It became very hard for Sarah to negotiate the track with her road tyres and after a couple of kms we decided to head back before reaching our destination when we reached an almost shear cliff face (read steep downhill and sharp uphill). The track is also covered at the sides with wild thyme giving a really nice smell and Californian poppies giving a burst of colour.

  That evening we spent happy hour with our neighbours on either side Aileen and Stewart who are on an extended trip around New Zealand in their Hymer that they purchased new when they lived in England. With a drop down bed above the two front seats it’s amazingly spacious despite only being 6 metres long. They say that they have looked long and hard for a replacement but have been unable to find something that lives up to this, it’s not hard to see why.

Also joining us where Roland and Gloria in their Autotrail that they only picked up 10 weeks ago. it’s such a small world with Roland and Stewart having worked together some 30 years ago.

  Later that evening I went for a walk around the camp to see how full it was as we had heard a number of vans arrive. I counted over 80 vans in the campground with the Warbirds Over Wanaka show only a few days away you could imagine that it will only get fuller as people arrive in the area for the show.

The next morning with tanks full it was off to the dump station early where we met two couples ahead of us who had been staying at the Rotary Glen NZMCA camp (#8675). So with them leaving we thought maybe we can be one of the lucky 10 allowed to stay each night and headed back to check it out. Sure enough there where only 8 vans in the camp so we checked in.

It’s always nice when you meet up with people that you have met on the road and although Peter and Tracey where just leaving the camp we caught up with a cup of coffee and the news from each of us since we had last seen each other in October at the annual Dethleffs gathering.

It was also nice to catch up with Steve and Fiona who we had met during our time in Gore who feature in the latest Motorhome Destinations magazine with an article on their lifestyle.

  Heading out of the back of the camp for a stroll to the shops after parking we came across this hillside. I am amazed that it hadn’t collapsed with all the rabbit burrows that had been dug into the side of the hill. For those that haven’t been to Rotary Glen it is located on the 4 Barrels walkway that leads right through the camp from the vineyards above and surrounding the camp. A number of locals appear to use this walkway judging from the number of people walking past during the evening.

  Back from the walk we jumped back on our bikes to head up the lake past our original camp at Lowburn where we crossed the 45th Parallel again but the third time where there is some sort of marker to tell you that you have crossed it. From here there is also a walkway that scales the hills behind the lake. It looks almost vertical but we did spot a couple of people almost at the summit.

  That evening the sun treated us to a spectacular display firstly lighting up the top of the mountains behind us while everything else was in shadow. Then illuminating some really unusual cloud formations. Finally setting behind the van in a blaze of orange.

But the real fun and games came that evening… My earlier photo shows the camp full sign and clearly states a limit of 10 vans at anyone time as this is all the resource consent allows. Returning from our bike ride we noticed a caravan entering the camp despite the camp full sign they claimed to have called the camp custodian who said it was all OK not satisfied with their explanation I phoned him myself to discover that they had told him it looked like someone was leaving, This did not happen so they made 11.

Later that evening another 3 winged members, two of whom had sat outside the gate waiting for darkness the second joining his friend who should have known better arrived. I am annoyed that people are breaking the rules especially when so many people had arrived at the gate and driven away clearly aware of the limit I vented my frustrations on the NZMCA Facebook page at the time of writing less than 24 hours later it’s had over 210 comments from fellow members who are as annoyed as I was. From the comments on the Facebook page from other members it’s obvious this is not the first time in fact it sounds like a regular occurrence.

This morning as we prepared to leave one of the people who had broken the rules was busy waving someone else in even though there where still 11 vans there telling them don’t worry there is plenty of space. There might be plenty of space but you are breaking the resource consent rules and the camp will be lost because of ignorant people like you.

After we had left the camp we ran into another of the campers who was there last night and like us he was also annoyed at the situation but neither of us wants to be the police confronting the members who should know better.

Enough said.

    Cromwell or is that Countwell Leaving Kinloch as the clouds started to lift the drive back along the lake offered a better view of the mountains than the drive in.

[josephkitchen0]

Synergy for The Most Profitable Farming

By Ken Johnson Waupaca, Wisconsin

These days, the most profitable farming involves a synergy of economics, land use, and understanding livestock.

Maybe there is a gene in us that tells us there is satisfaction in being self-reliant. For many, if not all of us, there seems to be a certain comfort in the ability to raise and process our own food. It’s like: if other food sources fail at least we have something to eat if we raise our own. For those who do not have access to garden space, they must rely on the efforts of others who attend to seed and soil. Public gardening space (“community gardens”) is an alternative, and for me it is great to witness the trend toward urban style meat and vegetable growing. Raising a substantial amount of one’s own food can go a long way toward relieving a family’s budget. Plus, there are other benefits, like personal satisfaction and even stress relief. It may be a stretch, but wouldn’t it be nice if some two-income families could sustain themselves with one income, a stay-at-home parent, and a productive garden?

I have been a farmer at heart all my life, which has been about two-thirds of a century. Even before becoming a teenager, being raised on a 100-acre farm in northwest Iowa, I realized that farming was in the throes of change. Sometime during the year 1947-48 my parents finally gave up their pair of heavy Percheron horses and bought their first tractor, an Oliver 60. Although kerosene and gasoline farm tractors had been around for some 30 years, workhorses had been around a whole lot longer, and although gasoline wasn’t all that expensive, it couldn’t be raised on the farm. Cars were a different matter.

Nobody went to town in a buckboard anymore. Although there were some huge grain farms around the lower Midwest and some in the far western states, most farm tractors in the middle decades of the 20th century were built for farms operated by individual families. A typical farmer might own one or two horse teams, and the typical farm tractor was built to replace them. They were pulling tractors and often pulled the same equipment that the horses pulled, and tractors didn’t have to be curried down after a day’s work. Innovations did come along for the most profitable farming.

Although the technology had been around for several decades, in 1920 International Harvester put into production a tractor engine-driven “power-take-off” that provided propulsion for harvesting machinery that was previously wheel driven. Other farm tractor manufacturers followed suit. Improvements to PTO systems continued including a separate clutch for independent operation, different rotation speeds, and other innovations.

Our best chicken secrets revealed with this FREE guide!

Even old pros say they got dozens of tips for their flocks by reading this guide. YES! I want this Free Guide »

The year 1938 saw the inclusion of Harry Ferguson’s three-point hitch hydraulic system on Ford farm tractors. The combination of a tractor with a PTO and three-point hitch system in effect made self-propelled units out of any farm equipment attached to them. Remote hydraulics, which can control a ram for lifting and lowering farm implements from the tractor seat was also a very useful invention. By the 1950s the combination of these inventions and cheap petroleum fuel for the most profitable farming pretty much destroyed the trade in farm horses.

It wasn’t long after Dad’s first tractor that he wanted a different one. He had a nephew who happened to be a farm implement dealer and he sold Dad a newer Farmall C. It had about the same horsepower as the old Oliver and it proved to be more reliable, however, it did not perform well with a two-bottom plow in the heavy soil. One day Dad had delivered a really old McCormick 10-20, probably a late 1920s version. It was a heavy, blocky, vibrating machine. It did have rubber tires though. The fat back tires were of the knobby variety. It had big, wide rusty fenders upon which I could sit as we slowly but steadily plowed the “rounds” (up and back across the field). One round and my entire little body was pretty numb as I recall.

This pair of tractors sufficed for another couple of years, then Dad traded for another Oliver, a six-cylinder model 70 which he kept until we bought a farm of our own in central Wisconsin. This was 1953 and I was 10 years old by then. I was aware of what was happening to farmers around our area. They were getting bigger; farm equipment was getting bigger, and farmers were leaving and/or going broke. My parents and our nearest neighbors, my Dad’s brother and his family, and my uncle’s in-laws who also lived just a couple miles away, all moved, the aforementioned to Minnesota, but we went to Wisconsin. At the time I was of the opinion that it was the cost of the machinery that broke so many farmers and the farmers’ incessant desire to one-up their neighbors with newer, bigger, better equipment and most profitable farming. I may not have been that far off in my assessment.

As the years went on in Wisconsin, we had some learning to do. Dad’s first year of corn turned out to be nothing but nubbins. The sandy loam soil needed fertilizer. The rich Iowa soil needed none. We couldn’t grow 110-day corn either. Eighty-five-day corn with its smaller ears and lower yield were more in order. In Wisconsin we had a small herd of dairy cows and replacement stock, so we had to learn how to fill a silo with chopped corn or silage.

My little brother and I went from a big consolidated school in Iowa to a small one-room country school in Wisconsin. We went from picking corn with a tractor-mounted picker to picking corn by hand, and from using a combine, to bundling and thrashing oats. Dad seemed to take it all in stride like he was in his element, and the rest of us went right along with it. Mom still had her chickens. She milked with a milking machine now. In Iowa, she milked by hand, although fewer cows. In Iowa, my folks had a cream separator, sold the cream and fed the skim milk to the pigs and chickens. In Wisconsin, we sold grade B whole milk in 10-gallon milk cans. We had what’s known as a “general farm.” We had a variety of enterprises: pigs, sheep, chickens, sometimes geese, a huge garden, lots of blackberries, gooseberries, hazelnuts, an apple orchard. We rarely seemed to have much in the way of spending money, but I can’t recall ever wondering where our next meal was coming from. Thinking back on it, we worked pretty hard and long hours compared to what’s expected today, but I don’t think we noticed it back then. Some of my fondest memories are of those days and I only wish I could share them in some meaningful way with all children. How different are today’s “farms.”

There was a time during my teens that I wondered how I was going to get a start in the most profitable farming. I divided farming into separate but related businesses. First there was land; then livestock; machinery; buildings; operating capital.

Capital

First, you will need to raise some capital to buy or leverage finance some portion of your most profitable farming enterprise.

Land was and is very expensive. If you own land, you can rent it out or sharecrop it, but if you do the math, ordinary farmland will never pay for itself, let alone generate an income. Over time your land should increase in value. This is why speculators buy land and drive up land prices beyond the point of anyone making a living on farming it. You can “improve” your land by putting a building on it, such as a house. You’ve got to live somewhere, right? Put a fence around your land, and raise some sheep. The sum of all the parts is usually greater than the worth of the individual parts on their own.

There are substantial up-front expenses when buying land. Can you rent land to farm? Not likely, especially if you are not related to or are a stranger to the owner. I’ve heard of an instance or two where a young person was helped by a relative. One operation rented a large dairy barn from an uncle, and the young woman raised milk cows from calves. The last I heard she was milking 60 cows and growing. She bought all their feed.

Livestock

There’s a lot to raising livestock; there are all kinds of challenges. First you need a place to put them, which requires land and usually some kind of shelter. If you can graze them, so much the better. Buy young stock in the spring, graze them until about snow time in the fall, and market them. Good fences and the ability to rotate pastures is a big plus. Your choice of livestock will determine your profits.

The idea of having to feed grain to finish out livestock has proven not to be absolutely true. Livestock may take a little longer to reach market weight by finishing on forage alone, but the profit margin could well justify the extra time. You can graze sheep, cattle, goats, chickens, geese, ducks, rabbits, pigs and horses. Certain breeds do better on grazing than others. Some pig breeds require grain supplements, others only minimal. There is more to raising healthy animals than just sufficient food and shelter, but that’s a big part of it.

Some countries like Argentina and the U.S. eat a lot of meat, but the trend is changing in the U.S. because of health concerns about cholesterol and heart disease, obesity, diabetes and other issues. Vegetables don’t have cholesterol and have far fewer calories than meat. The more profitable meat animals to raise are currently geese, especially during holidays, and guineas (on restaurant menus). Goat (called “chevon”) and rabbit are becoming more popular, especially in restaurants. Just about any appropriate fish (perch, bass, trout, etc.) raised in tank arrangements is gaining popularity and is apparently lucrative for the moment. These are potential opportunities for the more flexible “general” farm.

There are grazing strategies or synergies that may lend themselves to the most profitable farming. If your grazing land is cross-fenced to allow for rotation grazing, you can graze goats with cattle. The two species eat differently. (Cattle graze while goats browse.) Rotate the cattle and goats out and follow with sheep and geese. Follow the sheep and geese with chickens. Sheep and geese are grazers (geese are vegetarians). Chickens eat almost anything, including larvae left behind by the sheep.

Pigs are a little different. Some breeds are good grazers, especially the heritage breeds like Large Black, Red Wattle and Tamworth. My dad raised Durocks and Tamworths. Tamworths are rooters, which is what pigs with long snouts are supposed to do, but they can also root up fences and invade your neighbor’s garden or get into trouble with your neighbor’s dog. Large Blacks and Red Wattles on the other hand, don’t need such an impenetrable barrier of a fence.

Goats too, unlike sheep, need extensive fencing unless one opts for the Myotonic breed. There are several varieties of Myotonic goats, some small, some with long silky hair. The Tennessee Fainter or Myotonic is the large, muscular meat goat of some 200-pounds, more or less. Texmaster goats are a cross of Tennessee Myotonic and Boer, another meat goat. Myotonic goats have been crossed with all kinds of other goat breeds with no guarantee of the myotonic feature of not being able to jump fences. Such a cross with a dairy goat that could produce a non-jumping, good-milking dairy goat seems to me to be a good idea. Wethers of such a combination might be worth something for meat too. Newborn dairy goat bucks are worth little to nothing to dairy goat farmers. Check Craig’s List, they are often free if you don’t mind bottle feeding them for a month or two.

Sheep come in different varieties, too. Some are raised for their wool, some for meat, some for milk or a mix of the three. Meat sheep can be of the wool variety or hair variety. The hair variety do not need to be sheared. There’s lots of readily available information about sheep.

The wool our sheep produced, without the government subsidy, would have run our operation in the red. The sheep had to be sheared, but there was no market for the wool. Our wool competed with cotton and synthetics and cheap wool from overseas. Cottage enterprises using wool have remained for specialty markets and there is some renewed interest. We need a new use for wool.

Milk from sheep is not yet very popular in the U.S. Commercially, it is usually collected, frozen and shipped to a processor for cheese. Milking sheep can be quite lucrative in the U.S., and sheep are usually a pleasant animal to work with. Milking sheep also are wool-bearing sheep and need periodic shearing. A cross between a hair meat sheep such as the St. Croix and a dairy sheep such as the East Friesian, could produce a high milk-producing hair sheep.

Cattle: dairy and meat choices. Holstein dairy cows dominate the milk industry in the U.S. There are markets for special cheeses made with milk from specific breeds of cattle. Jersey milk is known for its high-fat content in small globules. Jerseys are small cattle compared to Holsteins and are easier to handle. Dexter cattle are smaller still. Dexters are a heritage breed with an interesting history and like Jerseys are very productive for their size. Raising purebred heritage breed cattle can be a lucrative enterprise. Google ALBC (American Livestock Breed Conservancy) on the Internet for heritage breeds.

Learn how you can register the progeny of your purebred bull and grade cows. Raising beef cattle can be interesting too. Dexters are considered to be either beef or dairy cattle. They are a stocky breed, with smaller cuts of meat. There is some interest in miniaturized cattle, but so far I think more as a novelty and not for the most profitable farming. (Some can be quite pricey.) Some meat and some dairy cattle have retained their genetic ability to thrive on forage alone. These are the cattle I am most interested in.

Chickens: We can talk about chickens and other poultry including waterfowl. Eggs have traditionally been very cheap at the grocery store. If you know the story behind most grocery store eggs, you probably feel a bit squeamish about using them. Despite their high cholesterol content, eggs are a convenient source of animal protein and a key ingredient in many dishes, cakes, and breads. There is not much profit in raising chickens and selling their eggs.

The profit from organically produced eggs is only marginally better. If possible, buy from a local producer and buy fresh. I have purchased organic eggs at a supermarket only to have flat yolks and runny whites. Not very appetizing. If you want yolks that sit up and thick whites that don’t run, buy duck eggs. Selling fresh duck eggs vs chicken eggs to bakeries and restaurants can be lucrative.

Factory farm meat chickens do not appeal to me either. The chicken is crossbred to produce fast growing, oversized breast portions. The chicken breasts grow so fast the chicken’s legs and internal organs can’t develop fast enough to support it. Life expectancy of these birds is measured in weeks. A normal chicken can live several years. Do the research, find out the rest of the story behind factory chicken.

Healthy chickens are easy to raise, colorful and fun to watch. Dual-purpose chickens have not been crossbred for heavy breasts and quick growth. You can have both meat and eggs from the same chicken. Just because it says “free range” on the egg carton doesn’t mean the chicken has access to an outdoor environment or pasture. Geese are grass and weed eaters.

Have you priced a frozen supermarket goose lately? Geese used to be more popular than turkeys for holiday meals. They may be somewhat noisy but there is no domestic animal prettier than a flock of geese grazing in a pasture, and the potential for most profitable farming is encouraging. Geese need protection from predators, especially at night.

Organic turkeys are not cheap but still a better value than factory turkeys in my opinion. Guineas anyone? A dark meat bird, guineas are more difficult to raise because they are flighty and may decide the best roosting place is the roof of your house. Having a broody chicken hatch and brood guinea keets can solve several problems. Guineas don’t usually attend to their young like chickens do. Most keets are usually lost if left for their parents to raise them. Keets who think they are chickens behave more like chickens, at least initially. Clipping some flight feathers of young guineas will keep them grounded, but also make them more vulnerable to predators. Guinea meat can serve as wildfowl or pheasant in restaurants.

Buildings

The question becomes, “What am I going to use the building for?” One barn building can suffice for all your animals, or you can build several animal-specific buildings. Even during inclement weather, horses and most cattle can get by with a three-sided structure that faces south or southeast. Highlander and Galloway cattle often prefer to remain outdoors during any weather. Sheep do not like to get wet, especially wool sheep, but they do fine in snow if it’s not too deep.

Buildings can be expensive to build, and then there are the property taxes that also discourage putting up buildings. There is a tendency of late to keep livestock outdoors regardless of the weather, including dairy cows. Such a practice would have been unheard of during years past. Not only do I think livestock suffer while out in inclement weather, they undoubtedly are less productive because what they eat has to provide more energy for just survival alone. All livestock need shelter at least some of the time for protection from the elements or predators.

Ken has a seven-foot International Harvester sickle mower for which he paid $325. He also has a back blade, three-point quack digger, and a few other pieces for the tractor.

Machinery

This may be an area where a beginning farmer may be able to skimp, to achieve the most profitable farming. New machinery depreciates quickly. Older farm equipment may still get the job done and may already be more or less fully depreciated. There is lots of old machinery available at close to salvage or scrap iron prices, and lots of parts available to keep them going. If you don’t mind doing the maintenance, it’s pretty hard to lose a lot of money on old machinery. Fixing up and using old machinery has its own rewards, but if your farming operation is kept as simple as possible, you won’t need a lot of machinery.

As mentioned above, your operation could be as simple as having access to grazing land that is well fenced, buy grazing stock in the spring, graze and water them until the snow flies then sell them. If you would rather not work with animals but like working with machinery, buy or lease some equipment and rent yourself out. You may want to choose between tillage, planting or harvesting. The scale of your operation will depend on your initial resources. Modern tractors used for tillage are all diesels of several hundred horsepower. The tillage equipment they pull is often of the one pass variety and you are done. The concept of no-till has been around for decades where seed drills or planters are designed to work up the soil enough to plant without any other seedbed preparation.

There are a lot of large old 60- to 150-horsepower fuel-guzzling tractors available that represent cheap horsepower. A good portion of these tractors are diesel, which are less costly to operate than gas tractors. Although they can’t measure up to modern tillage horsepower requirements, they are still capable of a good day’s work, and because they can be found for a comparatively small investment, the potential for the most profitable farmimg with them is there. For hobby farmers, smaller tractors are much more practical. One 25hp tractor could suffice for up to about 100 acres. Anything above 45hp is probably overkill. The larger the tractor the more fuel it consumes, so it should be matched to your requirements. New tractors within the above horsepower range may run $15,000 to $20,000, and that might include front wheel assist and a loader. I chose a 1966 Massey 150 diesel with a three-point hitch for $3,600. I could have chosen an older tractor without three-point for less than $1,500. Old tractors look great when they’re all fixed up and painted! They are a part of Americana. (Google “old iron” on the Internet. Check out www.tractorhouse.com and Craig’s List for local sales).

My Hobby Farm

Not long ago I bought 20 acres of beautiful rolling hills in west-central Wisconsin. About 14 acres was rented out for cash crops while six acres remained in a mixture of pine and hardwood trees. The farmland is now in the process of recovering. It is seeded with grasses and clovers. My plan is to fence it and graze it with a variety of animals, mostly of heritage varieties. The wooded area has a sloping southern exposure ideal for a basement building open to the south. My Massey Ferguson has a three-cylinder Perkins diesel engine that is very efficient and so far reliable. I have an old eight-foot Van-Brunt seed drill in good shape that I paid $350 for. Behind it, I pull an old Brillion packer: $150. I have an old Danuser posthole digger: $150, that I reworked for the three point on the tractor. I have a seven-foot International Harvester sickle mower: $325. I have a back blade, three-point quack digger, and a few other pieces. What I intend to buy is some hay equipment: a mower-conditioner or just a conditioner, hay rake and a baler, probably a 4×5 round baler, because they are simple, don’t use a lot of twine and I can handle the haying operation by myself.

As you can see, my machinery is pretty minimal, old and inexpensive. I enjoy working on old machinery. I prefer trailer equipment with a hydraulic lift as opposed to tractor-mounted three-point. Trailer equipment (attachment) has its own chassis on wheels that are positioned at the proper lift and pivot points. When mounted on the tractor’s three-point, the pivot point ( the tractors rear wheels) is in front of the attachment which has to be continually monitored and adjusted for depth etc. With trailer attachments, you just back up, hook on, plug in the hydraulic hose and go. With three-point (or two-point on some tractors) it can be a struggle, especially for one person, to get an attachment mounted. The advantage of three or two-point is the ability to get into tight places. If you have a lot of post holes to dig, a three-point digger is almost a must.

If you are in the market for trailer equipment be aware that older models may have a clutch lift and not a hydraulic lift. Clutch lifts usually work just fine but with a clutch lift the wheels must be turning for the lift to work. If you are plowing with a plow with a clutch lift and you get stuck (hung up on a rock or something) and can’t go forward you will have to unhook the plow and pull it off the rock (or out of the mud or whatever) with a chain. With a hydraulic lift chances are all you have to do to get unstuck is move the hydraulic lever mounted near your seat and the plow pops right up, (you may have to back up a little first).

There are all kinds of older wheeled hydraulic implements available of 1940s-50s vintage. My seed drill has a clutch lift. My quack digger is three-point, but I want to trade it for a trailer type. My sickle mower is the trailer and hydraulic variety and it works just fine. A side-mounted mower is easier to watch because you don’t have to be looking over your shoulder to see it but they are also a pain to mount under the tractor. Once mounted, side mowers are handy machines, they are also not nearly as common as other styles.

One other neat thing about trailer attachments is you don’t need a modern tractor with three-point to use them. Some of the old vintage 1940s and early 50s tractors are simple to work on and fun to drive. Many are available for under $2,000. Salvage price is in the $500–$1,000 range. If the old tractors don’t have hydraulic pumps (and some do) it is possible to retrofit a pump on the front of the engine or on the tractors PTO, or some other place. If you use implements with clutch lifts then you don’t need hydraulics. Some of the old tractors have clutch lifts built on them that raise and lower implements like cultivators and other side mounted or rear mounted equipment.

Ken has an old Danuser posthole digger: $150, that he reworked for the three point on the tractor.

There is a movement today for people who want to get closer to nature and to the food it provides. There are many reasons for this, perhaps the main reason being it’s in our genes. It‘s only been recently in human history that we have separated ourselves so far from the land. My parents were perhaps among the last generation of mainstream general farmers. The last 10 years before he retired at age 70, my dad worked for two farmers who owned or were in control of several thousand acres. These farmers were not general farmers, they were potato and green bean farmers. One of these farmers reintroduced potatoes into central Wisconsin in a big way after previous potato failures had diminished their production for many, many years. As a result, two giant potato corporations from Idaho became interested in central Wisconsin. The rest is recent history. With innovation, it’s not too late for small farms to grow and thrive once again with the most profitable farming.

Whatever turn your operation takes, always maintain a ledger of your expenses. Take encouragement from old-timers like Gene Logsdon who have lived close to nature, and listen to what your own genes tell you about the most profitable farming.

Originally published in the March/April 2012 issue of Countryside & Small Stock Journal.

Synergy for The Most Profitable Farming was originally posted by All About Chickens

[johnnyonespur]

Santa Fe

So ever since visiting Meow Wolf on my own (back in March 2017), I’ve wanted to bring the kids there. But summer was busy (and hot), and then both the kids had school, so...

Anyway, so last weekend I finally brought them! The weekend:

Friday: Rocky pulled the kids out of school early, and the kids and I left Denver about 2:50 p.m. I’d stayed home that day to do road-trip-snack-shopping, get the car’s oil changed, pick up some maps, and do the packing. We stopped for gas in Trinidad (about 3 hours’ south of Denver), and dinner at Blake’s Lotaburger in Las Vegas, NM (incredible green chile burger!). Also, like, three pee stops. Got into Santa Fe about 9:30, which means we made it in 6 1/2 hours, which is about half an hour less than I had thought it would take. Checked in at the Sage Inn hotel, and we watched half of Captain Underpants (a colleague had loaned me an HDMI cable so I could use my laptop as a DVD player!).

Saturday: Got up around 8:00, had the hotel breakfast, but it was still only 9:00, and Meow Wolf didn’t open until 10:00. So we walked to the farmer’s market a couple blocks away. Beautiful food! I got a coffee, and the kids got to play in a little park there. Sunny and clear, but the temperature was around freezing.

Drove to Meow Wolf. I’d bought the tix last night online, so didn’t have to wait in line.

The kids loved it, as I’d thought they would. It was kinda hard keeping them corralled, since there are so many directions to go, and so much to see. But we managed to see everything (I think). We spent maybe two hours, then went to the kids’ art area, where they painted, built forts with big foam blocks, and built towers with magnetic blocks. We probably spent at least an hour and a half there in the art studio. Then we went out for lunch, and came back to MW and went through it all again for another 1 1/2 - 2 hours.

The kids were really excited by the idea of the Art-O-Mat--an old cigarette vending machine that’s been repurposed to sell small (cigarette-box-sized) works of art for $5. The lass got a beautiful painted rock. The lad got a print on a wooden block that he wasn’t super fond of, so I took that one and he got a Japanese fish print that he did really like.

After that, we went to the Harrell House Bug Museum. Unfortunately, the lass had fallen deep asleep, so she missed the entire thing! The lad bought some little plastic animalitos with his own money (he loves them!). He got to handle a bunch of different bugs--a millipede, a tarantula, hissing cockroaches, and a vinagroon. But the highlight of his evening was the place had some axolotls and tiger salamanders.

See, for the last few months, the lad has REALLY been into salamanders (not lizards). Also diplocaulus, but they’re not as common to find, and they’re also extinct. But I don’t think he’s ever seen an actual live salamander--just photos in books. So he was super-excited. And I asked the guy if he could hold one of the tiger salamanders, and since we were the only ones there, he said sure. So the lad got to hold one for a few seconds. He was positively giddy! We also got to see a water monitor eat an entire dead rat, which was cool (though not as cool as the salamander).

We went back to the hotel, and got a couple salads to finish off dinner (since we’d had lunch so late, we didn’t really need much) while we finished Captain Underpants. The Caesar salad was pretty good, but the caprese salad was literally two slices of tomato and two slices of supermarket mozzarella. Kind of a ripoff.

Sunday: We had the hotel breakfast, then got donuts from a place that was supposed to be really good (they were meh). Then we went to the plaza to walk around, but there’s nothing there for kids, really (they’re not into the Native American jewelry sales or fancy art galleries). They did enjoy chasing pigeons around trying to catch one, though. And while doing so, the lad’s second tooth came out! Yay!

Then we went back to the Bug Museum, because the lass was sad that she’d missed it. A different guy there this time, though, so she didn’t get to hold a salamander, though she did hold the bugs.

Then we had a picnic for lunch, and then went to the Museum of International Folk Art, which is the one I’d wanted to see. It was alright, but not a lot to see for $12 (at least the kids were free). One of the halls was closed for remodeling, though. They had a kids’ play area, where they spent about an hour, and there was another area downstairs where later we did some origami for maybe another 45 minutes.

By then it was 5:00, the sun was setting, it was getting cold, and there’s nothing to do for kids in Santa Fe at 5:00 p.m. on a Sunday night (I looked to see if there were any kids’ movies in theaters, but no...). So we got pizza for dinner and gelato afterwards, and then went back to the hotel. I’d like to say we got to bed early, but the kids stayed up (probably the gelato) and I stayed up way late looking at the photos I’d taken and such.

Monday: hotel breakfast and packing. Both the kids got showers, which is an achievement. Got out about 10:30. Stopped by the Flea Market, but it’s only open on Fri Sat Sun, apparently. I was going to go to the outlying, loser section of Bandelier that has a nice rocky hike and petroglyphs, but then the GPS was like, “Bandelier is 7.6 miles away.” So I decided just to go to Bandelier, since the kids had never seen cliff dwellings or Native American ruins. (I’d forgotten that the GPS measuring attractions just gives the distance as the crow flies, so 7.6 was actually 12, and that was just to the entrance--the ruins were another 3.5 miles, and then back like 25 miles to the highway. So it was a pretty big detour.)

Bandelier was cool--the kids liked climbing the ladders and the caves, but they were more interested in finding pretty rocks in the gravel pathway than appreciating the history of the site. Still, it was a beautiful walk, and they did get to see their first cliff dwelling/Native American archaeological site, so...

I was going to stop at Taos Pueblo, since that’s another thing the kids have never experienced, but by the time we got to Taos, it was like 3:00, and there’s still another 4 or 5 hours to Denver. So we had lunch at another Lotaburger, and then just drove straight through. It was a long push, but no traffic at all, and we got back to Denver at like 8:30. And made it on one tank of gas all the way from Santa Fe, too!

Anyway, it was a great trip, though because we only had three and a half days, it was a little rushed. But we got to do almost everything I’d wanted to do, the kids had a blast, and couldn’t wait to tell Rocky about everything they saw and did. I figure between the hotel, the food, the gas, and the entry fees, it was probably about $550. Maybe next time we’ll aim for a cheaper hotel, or the hostel (which has a kitchen, so less money spent on restaurant food).

Hotel: $230 (3 nights)

Food: about $100 or so--three dinners, two lunches, and donuts, for three of us.

Entry fees: about $80 for Meow Wolf, the Folk Art Museum, the Bug Museum (twice), and Bandelier.

Gas: two half-tank fill-ups at $25 each, plus I’ll need to fill the car up again once more.

Other: $15 for the Art-O-Mat, then a housekeeping tip, animalitos for the kids, a coffee for me, etc. Maybe another $30 total.