#tank the warhorse

[marshmallow-biscuit-blog]

Yo look it's Kettle and his war horse in the war.

[poledancingdinos]

Hostile Territory - Chapter 27

Pairing: Captain Syverson x OFC (Leah Coleman)

Word count: 3.3K

Warnings: Misogyny, Bullying, Hazing

Catch up: Series Masterlist

Taglist: @amberangel112 @utterlyhopeful-fics @marantha @kebabgirl67 @littleone65 @omgkatinka @luclittlepond @athenepromachos @enchantedbytomandhenry @narnianaos @geralts-yenn @peaches1958 @avengersfan25 @sillyrabbit81 @summersong69 @identity2212 @liecastillo @lena-banena @mrsevans90 @confessionbrain-writings @eclecticfashionbookszipper @happydistraction @hannah9921 @valacircareads @toooldforobsessions @kingliam2019 @rosecentury @wa-ni @secretdream2 @missemrose @shellyshellshell @winter2112rose

A/N: I'm still working on updating my taglist. Unfortunately if your name is crossed out it's because tumblr won't let me tag you.

Masterlist

Day 444

Leah never thought she would be back at Warhorse, much less without Sy. From the moment she crossed the gate it was deja vu. There were shouts coming from the angry crowd outside and cat calls coming from the horny men inside. As far as she was concerned, she was on the most dangerous side of the gate.

“Don’t punch anyone,�� Benjie ordered under his breath, keeping his eyes forward. “The boys have mentioned the new Captain is the bottom of the barrel. He sees you react, it’ll be his pleasure to make your life hell while you’re here.”

Leah ground her teeth as she walked by a group of boys making lewd gestures. “I don’t know. I get the feeling my life here will be hell either way. I might as well have the satisfaction that will come from seeing the look on their faces when they get their ass kicked by a girl.”

One of the new boys led them up the stairs to their assigned room. It seemed no one was concerned about giving her a separate space this time. They walked past a few familiar faces, one of which looked from where he was leaning in the doorway with his arms crossed. Nielsen locked eyes with Leah, giving her nod of acknowledgment.

A nod was better than him going back to torturing her or pretending like she doesn’t exist.

“I can’t believe they dragged us all the way here to be fucking glorified delivery drivers.” Jer complained, dumping his bag on his bed. “Aren’t we overqualified for that shit?”

“Apparently they tried to get a couple of army boys to escort the truck. Only two out of five walked out of here on their own two feet. Two were evac’d after their Victor took a hit from a rocket launcher and the other left in a bag after a firefight.”

“Guess I must have missed the day in Spec Ops training where they taught us that we become impervious to rocket launchers,” Ethan mumbled.

He had a point. Calling in an extra team to put more protection on the convoy was one thing, trading one team for another was just sending more lambs out to slaughter. The current team had fucked up and gotten the water pumps blown up. Shouldn’t they get the shitty—and apparently deadly—job of escorting the water tank? Let them put their asses on the line while she and the boys sat around playing poker and ‘guarding’ the base.

Day 445

The next morning, they made their beds before going down to chow. No less than four men popped in to ask Leah if she could ‘be a doll and do theirs once she was done’. She never thought she’d want a guy to defend her honor but she kind of wished Sy was there to put them in their place so that she didn’t have to just grit her teeth and take it.

After a quick breakfast, they went back up to their rooms to gear up for the day.

“What the fuck?” Benjie exclaimed, looking down at his hand which was entirely coated in something thick and red.

“What even is that?” Ethan asked in horror.

Rohan caught Benjie’s wrist, bringing it to his nose for a sniff. “Huh, fifty-seven varieties.”

“Ketchup?” Leah guessed. “They aren’t seriously dumb enough to pull a prank on a nearly senior NCO, are they?”

“Nope,” Jer cut in, “but they are dumb enough to not double check that they got the right bag.” Jer pulled out three pairs of women’s underwear coated in what must have been an entire bottle of ketchup.

Leah didn’t even know how they got their hands on so much ketchup. Or women’s underwear for that matter.

“They got the wrong bag? How? They all saw which bunk was mine.”

“Exactly.”

Leah shared a confused look with Benjie as he attempted to clean himself up with baby wipes. It was then she noticed that her bag was not where she had left it.

“You switched our bags.”

A victorious grin pulled at Jer’s lips. “I think the Captain will be interested in hearing about how disrespectful his boys are being, don’t you?”

Leah had been wrong. Escorting the water tanker was not the worst part of their job. The worst part was waiting for the damn thing to fill. After the Captain spoke with Fuller and agreed to discipline his men—even he couldn’t overlook hazing a staff sergeant—he’d sent them out on their way.

At least on the road their minds were occupied, watching their sectors or the slightest sign of danger. At the water pump there was nothing around for miles. They would see and hear any hostiles coming long before they were a danger to them so she was going absolutely crazy in the meantime.

“I need to take a shit,” Ethan said to no one in particular.

“Now’s as good a time as you’re gonna get. Jer, go keep a lookout.”

“Why does it gotta be me? Why don’t you go watch him drop the kids off at the pool.”

“I’ll go,” Leah volunteered. “I’m going fucking crazy standing still. Rohan, switch with me.” 

Rohan climbed up to take her place while she jumped off the tanker and followed Ethan to the sand dunes, stopping at the top while he went down to the other side. From there, she could see out even further so, after doing a preliminary sweep, she lifted her gun to look into the distance through her scope.

“Something wrong, Coleman?” Benjie asked, probably on high alert from the fact that she had her weapon raised.

“Nah, just wanted to see better!”

“Roger!”

Lowering her weapon, Leah glanced at the rest of the team before turning and looking through her scope in the other direction. A black dot crossed the bottom of her scope, making her pause and look up.

The dot was in the direction of the only road that led up to the water station but there was no dust to indicate that it was a vehicle approaching. Looking back through the scope, it took her a moment to find the dot again, noting that it had gotten a tiny bit closer.

“Alright, I’m ten pounds lighter and no longer at risk of shitting myself on the road. Let’s get back to the tanker.”

Leah didn’t look up from her scope as Ethan climbed the dune, tracking the dot as it slowly got closer.

“Coleman?” Ethan’s voice was more tentative this time.

“Gimme a second.”

“Should I be worried?”

“I can’t tell with the heat haze. Whatever it is, it’s small and far out still so we don’t need to panic.” Yet.

Beside her, Ethan raised his weapon, ready to provide cover fire just in case. Another minute passed and the dot still wasn’t close enough to allow Leah to see it clearly.

“Are you sure it’s moving?”

“Positive.”

“Clean your scope to be sure.”

Part of her was annoyed that Ethan didn’t trust her but she did it anyway. Sure enough, the dot was still there.

“Well, it’s gotta be an animal ‘cause I doubt someone would walk way out here alone.”

Leah dropped her rifle, frowning as she considered Ethan’s words. They were pretty far from Warhorse and the surrounding village. If it was indeed an animal, it was likely wild. “Can you do that really loud whistle people do at concerts?”

“No, but I think Rohan can.”

“Hey Ray!” She waited for him to look over his shoulder at them. “I need you to whistle towards the road! Make it loud!”

Pulling his gloves off, Rohan angled his body East, no questions asked. He slipped his fingers between his lips and let out an ear-piercing whistle.

It took Leah a moment but she eventually got eyes on the dot once more. She would have expected a wild animal to be spooked by the sound. Instead, the dot had continued to approach, gaining speed and becoming more and more clear.

“No fucking way.” Her eyes had to be playing tricks on her. The lack of sleep since she’d gotten back was finally getting to her and she was hallucinating. That had to be it.

“Is that… Aika?” Ethan asked, apparently having gotten sick of her silence and taken matters into his own hands by looking through his own scope.

“It can’t be.” They both lowered their weapons, sharing a confused look. “Can it?”

Leah was afraid to get her hopes up. Aika had survived on her own once before but she’d gotten used to life on base where water had flowed freely and the peanut butter was plentiful.

They both ran down from the dune, rejoining the others by the tanker. Leah made a beeline for the humvee, yanking open the door and digging around the back seat.

“What’s going on?”

“Coleman glassed something. Looks like a german shepard.”

Benjie, Jer and Rohan shared a knowing look, immediately understanding what Ethan was implying. 

“Shoot it,” a man from the new unit said. “People out here don’t keep dogs as pets. It’s probably got rabies or some shit.”

“You shoot that dog, you answer to me,” Benjie barked.

Having collected the peanut butter packets from all the MREs, Leah got out of the humvee and began walking down the road. Without having to ask, Jer followed.

The men from the other unit began arguing behind them but Leah shut them out. She stopped just far enough from the station to not be overheard but close enough that if shit went sideways the others would be able to take their shot.

“It’s been months,” Jer said as the dog came into view. It was running now, closing in fast.

“I know.”

“That green would have washed out by now.”

“I know.”

“So how are you gonna check if it’s her without getting up within biting distance?”

Without answering, Leah stepped forward, putting a few yards of distance between herself and Jer. Hope had either made her brave or just plain stupid.

She was going to find out which in three… two… one…

Leah squatted down, putting her hand out in front of her. The dog didn’t slow, bypassing her hand entirely and barreling into her. The force of the impact pushed her onto her back and she prayed none of the boys had itchy fingers when a wet tongue darted out over her cheek.

Excited wimpers were like music to her ears, her own laughter adding to the sound of their reunion. Aika kept Leah pinned under her weight as she licked every inch of available skin.

“Hey, come on girl, let your mama breathe.”

Seeming to notice Jer for the first time, Aika jumped off Leah to press her snout into his outstretched hand. It took her a little longer to recognize his scent but soon her butt was wiggling as she wagged her tail hard.

Leah wiped the tears from her cheeks before getting to her feet. She gave Aika a full body rub down until she had calmed enough to obey commands.

“Aika, middle.”

Immediately, Aika turned to Leah, walking around her and coming to stand between her legs from behind.

“Good girl.”

Leah squirted some peanut butter on her fingers, letting Aika lick it off before she began to walk. Aika kept her position, walking between Leah’s legs. Maybe she was being overprotective but she didn’t want to give anyone a clear shot.

“You and Sy were busy.”

“She can do all the basic obedience they would teach a K9. At least, she used to.”

She hadn’t been practicing for very long when they’d left and she was still young. Consistency was key when training dogs and even the best behaved dogs failed commands sometimes.

“What’s the plan here? They won’t let her back on base.”

“When I got home, I had a talk with someone from the shelter my dad used to volunteer at. They were in the process of working with a local SPCA to fly her stateside. When Sy told me they had dumped Aika, they kept in touch with a few kennels just in case someone brought in a green shepard. I don’t know how fast they work but maybe if I can get a call out to my contact back home they’d be able to set up a meet before we move on.”

“The parts for the pump are being delivered tomorrow. We’re gonna be out of the country in a matter of days you can’t—”

“Jer, I don’t need you to tell me how fucking shit the odds are,” she snapped. “She’s made it this far. If there’s a chance, I have to try.”

Day 205:

From the moment she woke, there was only one thing on Leah’s mind. Heat. Her entire body was burning up. Blindly, Leah pushed her socks off under the blanket, letting them ball up at the foot of the bed then kicked the blankets off. When that wasn’t enough, she was forced to let her mind wake up.

Realizing that the reason for the scorching temperature was because she was still fully dressed, Leah remembered the previous night’s events. She sat up, looking at Sy’s sleeping form then down at his hoodie which she still wore over her dress.

After having been fully naked with him the night before, there was no reason to suddenly turn shy. She lifted the dress over her head, removing both it and the hoodie in one go. There was no way she was keeping her bra on, even for modesty. Underwires were created by the devil.

Once she no longer felt like a ball of fire, she made herself comfortable by curling up behind Sy. She pressed her forehead between his shoulder blades and slipped a hand up his stomach to his chest.

Sy hummed as her bare tits were pressed against his back. Taking Leah’s hand in his, he lifted it to his lips and pressed a kiss to her inner wrist.

“Y’okay, baby girl?”

She nodded against his back. “Got hot.”

“You gonna be able to go back to sleep?”

“I don’t think so.”

They were likely both wide awake now despite the late night.

“Guess it’s a good thing we ain’t got anywhere to be today.”

Not that he would want to be anywhere else. He’d be okay staying right where they were for eternity. Or, at least, until they had to get back to base.

“Well, I actually did have an idea of something to do… If you wanted.”

Sy rolled over, pulling Leah to his chest. One hand followed the curve of her hip, lifting her bare thigh over his waist. 

“We gotta be there before twelve-hundred hours?” he muttered, still a little groggy.

Biting her lip to mask her amused smile, Leah pressed her forehead to Sy’s. “Nope.”

“Then I’ll follow you anywhere you wanna go,” he vowed, sealing his promise with a kiss.

“Why didn’t you bring me here earlier?” Sy questioned, looking up at the sign above the door.

“You said you didn’t want to be anywhere before noon,” Leah shot back.

“No, I asked if we had to be anywhere before noon. If you’d told me you were bringing me here I’d have taken the answer to that question as a yes.”

Leah rolled her eyes, shaking her head with a smile. They both exited the car, making their way inside. A bell chimed over the door, alerting the receptionist to their presence.

“Hi there! What can I help you with today?”

“Is Terry here?”

Before the receptionist could open her mouth to speak, a male voice answered in her place.

“Now, I know my ears must be playing tricks on me because there’s no way that I just heard Gage Coleman’s little girl.”

A white-haired man exited a room which was marked ‘office’.

“No tricks, it’s really me.”

The older man pulled Leah into a quick hug before putting both hands on her shoulders as he looked her up and down. “It always scares me how much you look like your father. Although,” the man leaned in a little closer and stage-whispered, “you are way prettier.”

He shot her a wink before pulling away.

“Still a charmer I see. Do you mind if we take some of the guests out to play?”

“Not at all, go on back.”

Terry instructed the receptionist to give them both full access before he moved on to discuss business. Leah took Sy’s hand, leading him around the reception to the door that led to the back area. As soon as the door was open, the sound of barking reached Sy’s ears.

They passed a few different doors before they eventually reached the last one at the end of the hall.

“It’s best if you don’t try to reach into any of the cages. The signs on the doors will warn you of any potential behavioral problems or injuries that you need to be aware of. There’s a fenced area around back where we can play with them but I usually like to take them out on a walk first to let them roam and do their business.”

Over the course of the afternoon, Sy and Leah took all the dogs in the shelter out for a walk then to the back for them to run freely and play. That is, all but one.

When Sy had asked about the red card that was pinned to the cage, Leah said that it was because that dog was aggressive. At first glance, the dog didn’t look dangerous, cowering at the back of the cage but one of the vet techs had come in to feed him while they were in the room and the dog had started growling as soon as the tech had put a hand on the door.

They’d apparently been trying to socialize him in the two weeks since his arrival but no one had been able to open the door without being growled or barked at. 

“You can sit with him if you want. The same way we did with Aika. I wanted to talk to Terry before we left anyway.”

“Is it gonna actually help if he never sees me again?”

“Any potential adopter is going to be a stranger at some point. He needs to learn to trust people in general. You can sit in front of his cage with Daisy and give her belly rubs while he watches.”

Daisy was Terry’s elderly golden retriever. She was completely unfazed by anything and everything and was apparently used for socializing other animals from time to time.

At the mention of her name, she stood from where she was lounging on the floor and slowly made her way to Sy.

“I shouldn’t be too long but feel free to come find me if you get bored.”

Doing as Leah suggested, Sy sat down against the wall across from the cage. He didn’t want to risk Daisy getting too close and being bit. The pooch in question promptly followed his lead, rolling over for the promised belly rubs.

After a while, he figured the dog would also need to get comfortable with human voices so he decided to talk to him. And so, for the next half hour, Sy told the dogs all about Aika. He told the story of when he first saw her. How he’d been pissed off when someone had tried to shoot her. How he’d been heartbroken at having to leave her to die and the subsequent relief and ecstasy to know she’d survived. How she made the lonely nights less lonely. How she’d brought him and Leah closer. By the end, the dog had sat up, gazing at him with inquisitive eyes. 

This time, when he was forced to leave the dog behind, it was with the knowledge that the people at the shelter would do everything in their power to help him heal and find him a permanent home.

Chapter 28

[bleedingcoffee42]

Part 2- Day of Days

Wishlist of what should have been included

Forrest Guth!!! Show him landing in a field of cows and happy he didn't land on one. Then walking by a crashed plane, taking pictures and finding out after he gets them developed it was Meehan's plane.

Honestly more cows? General Ridgeway of the 82nd landed and had a "Flash!" -- "MOO" moment when he realized a cow was the one sneaking up on him when he landed. The cows were already there as extras, let them work. Cow POV sneaking up on paratrooper would have been hilarious.

Compton lost his gun on the drop, got a Thompson from Dog's Co. McMillian who broke his leg on the jump. (The gun's firing pin ended up being broken too and he doesn't find out until he goes to use it when facing two Germans and Guarnere saves him from getting shot) Almost got killed by a navy shell landing 50 ft away, but it didn't explode so he was good to go.

Speirs kicking a live grenade while capturing that fourth gun, it going off and knocking him on his ass, and catching his boot on fire and stomping to put out.

THE KNIFE. Those guys from the 82nd need to be snatching that thing instead of just being excited Dick is whipping something out of his pants in front of them. And show us how he gets it back!! You lost your gun on the drop, it's all you have, Dick. The custom engraved fighting knife from Lewis Nixon is all you have to fight with. GOD.

Dick yelling at Strayer, "Goddammit! When I send for ammunition and help, I mean now! Not when you get around to it!" YES! We love yelling!! And he's so pissed and filthy and imposing they just start laying bandoliers on him like it's Mardi Gras. Hester says he'll bring explosives, and does, and send Speirs with reinforcements. YES, make them answer to you Dick Winters!

Shifty and friends finding a downed glider with Jeep and deciding to take the Jeep. Needing to free it they use C-4, but don't realize the gas was leaking and end up blowing up the jeep and glider. Oops. Also Shifty running into Sobol later and having casual chit chat and talking about Popeye getting hit in the ass. "Serves him right" says Sobol. WTF does that mean? This would have pissed us viewers off so much. Gimme gimme.

Tipper, who should get more time come on, and his group getting shelled by the US Navy until they put up orange flags and smoke. The level of 'We're behind enemy lines and this massive hellstorm is hitting the beach' would have been a nod to just how chaotic it was to be paratroopers. Behind enemy lines is one thing, behind he enemy our lines are advancing on? Mmmmhmmm. Oh ! And they run into an English speaking guy who instantly gets shot by one of Tipper's compatriots and everyone is like ???? He was Speaking English and wearing a US paratrooper uniform? And the dude says "Look at his boots!" and they're German hobnailed boots. Like...more over Sherlock, give him a medal for the observation skills.

Lt. Col Billy Turner. He's not Easy Company, but he and Speirs had a personal civil war going on and we just get Lurker Speirs in Part 2 and we could have had some drama in the previous episode with Turner transferring him from Charlie to Dog eve of the invasion. In Normandy Sink told Turner to "Neutralize guns but be careful" so Turner tried to direct tank fire in Normandy, on a tank, and got shot by a sniper doing so. Ed Pepping, medic, got to him, pulled him out of the tank turret right before he died. Laments his loss. Says his death really held up the advance and rattled people. Seems like a good guy. Sink's comment? "His stature was small, his heart was big, his head was clear, his mind was sharp, his courage unlimited." Which sounds like a tribute for a warhorse, and Turner was cavalry so probably would have likes it, but BOB, really? Show Speirs walking by the guys dead body and saying "Well, Turner, by God, the krauts saved me the job!" Just some drama that could have been background noise. Sparky is already winning the morality Olympics this episode, pile on some more.

To be Continued....

[predakings-den]

Chapter 1: The Lab-grown Experiments

Word count: [1426]

Content Warning: [None]

He had revealed his form, a choice he believed wise in order to be taken seriously by these Decepticons. No longer is he stuck as a draconic being of metal and circuits, shrieking with his mandibles outstretched and large wings reeled back as a means to threaten. His new form is just as formidable, with a crown of horns protruding from his helm and a sharp, weary faceplate that made him come across as older than he felt. Predaking was met with surprised expressions from his superiors, crippling trepidation and dread from that pathetic Air Commander, and a sudden new sense of commitment as he realized the intention of this specific site.

Shockwave’s secondary laboratory, nestled in the caverns, now harbors the latest “pet project” as the others had liked to call it behind his back, or even in front of him, believing his intelligence to be that of a primitive creature. Predaking gazes upon the rows of test tubes decorating the underground lab in a hue of green lighting, with large cables connecting the tanks to a generator and a control panel where data is monitored, collected, and stored for Shockwave’s use.

Inside each containment chamber is a curled-up Predacon, growing and alive in their slumber. There’s a variety of what humans may recognize as mythical creatures thought to be in myths and legends. A plethora of beaks, wings, claws, and maws can be seen.

His large claws press gently against the warm glass. There was no outward response, but he could feel it, a pull on his EM field, albeit faint. The thought has crossed his processor every now and then when he was but a warhorse with no real designation. A question lingered: where were the rest of his people? And that knowledge has had the time to settle in his tanks like an endless pit. They were offline, decimated by either the radiation that had plagued Cybertron’s surface long ago in the Great Cataclysm where they starved underneath the shelter of dirt and rock, or driven mad stellar cycles ago.

Even now, these caverns strike a quiet unease with the Predacon, a fear of some sort or… Perhaps a memory from long ago, etched deep into the bones that Shockwave had cloned him from.

He could hardly believe such little beings, so vulnerable and exposed, can evolve to one of Cybertron’s greatest beasts of the past. How? They’re practically tiny bits of soft metal and exposed biolights, still developing their tough exterior.

He could be always be patient, until Shockwave's process is complete. He doesn't understand the exact science behind it, the cloning and accelerated growth procedure, but he trusted the Decepticon scientist to continue his work with the same chilling dedication.

"Would you like to feed them?"

Predaking perks up as he hears Shockwave's monotone vocalizer ending the silence between him and the Predacon pups. He takes a lingering glance at the science officer. "How so? Are they not sleeping?" It sure seems to be the case, as they have been quite unresponsive to the vast world around them. In Shockwave’s optic, Predaking taps the glass as if he were a youngling curious, although much larger in stature.

Shockwave walks over to a large crate of yellow vials. He hands him a few and Predaking cautiously sniffs. There appears to be no scent to this so-called meal that Shockwave is implying them to be. Regardless, the scientist continues droning on. "They absorb nutrients through the liquid they lie in, and every spark needs a certain amount to maintain a healthy core. It didn't take too long to develop a concoction similarly to the nutrients sparklings are provided naturally. All I needed were the correct ingredients, procured by those willing to aid in my research."

“I only considered the next logical step was to add… supplements of a sort. After all, I strive to improve in reference to previous works.”

Predaking chuffs and avoids his blaring optic. As if the ultimate being had imperfections. He is powerful in strength, his size indomitable, a Predacon in his prime and yet Shockwave finds flaws in his making?

He almost thinks to ask for the specifics, but Shockwave ignores his questions and leads him to the control panel, finding his personal inquiries asked to be of unimportance in the current moment or at any time really. "Now, insert five vials into these slots.”

The Predacon stares at the yellow vials, small in their little glass containers, so he feels fit to comment. “Five hardly seems enough for ten little ones.” And he nearly shrinks at the scientist’s stare. There is no emotion that can be read, but the feeling of… inadequacy stings at his spark for asking what the officer appears to see as menial queries.

Again, the scientist pays no mind to his observation and gestures to the control panel. “Each individual button is a labeled tank. The gray button is for fueling, the red is the release.”

Predaking follows along, inserting the vials, and then slowly presses the gray buttons with one large claw. In a few seconds, the green containment chambers turn a more vibrant yellow as nutrients start filtering inside.

The inhabitants do not move, but he understood that somehow, they are being properly cared and fed, even if it didn't seem as traditional as simply hunting and providing the meals for them.

And with feeding time underway, Predaking notices that many of the tanks do not have… names. Instead, there are numbers. It’s not entirely surprising when even Predaking had nothing, and sought to find him his own name. “Do they carry any designation? Like this one?” He gestures to a Predacon pup who is a mixture of yellow, teal, and purple, with two draconic helms and tails to match.

“#SW81617 is quite sufficient for the level of organization I require to properly assess Project Predacon. I do not plan on developing such a … familial connection with my experiments, that which I am starting to notice that you are starting to seek out. You yearn for something more than what I choose to provide.”

It renders the large Predacon quiet. Before anything more could be spoken between the two, the science officer gets a ping in his system. His red optic dims as he reads the short notification, Soundwave calling for his presence onboard the Nemesis warship. “It appears I have a meeting that I must tend to. I will reconvene with you later, but for now, you are granted a privilege of staying. Only, do not touch any of the mechanics until I arrive back onto the site.”

Shockwave could logically assume what this particular meeting could consist of. He wasn’t the only one who noticed how… fearful Megatron almost seemed, a mixture of that and shock, is not an acceptable state that their leader would approve being rendered to. Megatron has already shown his bouts of irrational, impulsive, and paranoid tendencies when confronted with something much grander than him… and the dangerous, chaotic beauty of Predacons is grand indeed.

Shockwave did not exhibit any signs of nervousness. His EM field of wall of cold indifference as usual. And Predaking didn’t question the sudden call away from the lab. Perhaps he should have at the time. Maybe it could have prevented… well, everything, but the Predacon who had only recently gained sentience did not yet know how to become a bit more astute in his observations.

Instead, he allows the officer to call for a ground bridge and thinks nothing of it. The large beast curls up next to the tanks, with a soft rumble sounding close to a yawn exiting his maw as he hunkers down for the evening.

He’s not that attached... he was simply curious at the prospect of new life, of not being alone anymore, of reviving his species once more. Everything… that was now his duty to protect and see through.

His moments spent in the lab were coming to an end though, and soon he’d be unable to look upon the tanks of Predacon pups as if he were stargazing at the brightest of constellations with such… completion in his spark. He would never have thought that displaying sentient thought and behavior would write their end, that despite any signs of loyalty towards the Decepticon cause, that Megatron was never going to allow them to simply exist.

It happened then, and it will once again.

Predacons cannot just exist…

A Cybertronian will not allow that to be the case, Decepticon or Autobot otherwise.

[lactodebillus-bulgaricus]

3rd of march. bulgaria is going to party with his friends. meanwhile, in the afterlife, bulgar and onoghur are talking.

bulgar: our son has his national holiday today, what are we going to get him?

onoghur: wait which one?

bulgar: omg how could u not know, it's about time for u to become more involved with their lives!

onoghur: yeah as if ur very engaged with their lives, ur starting to wonder what kind of gift to get him on the day of celebration instead of deciding, u know, days or weeks before!

bulgar: well at least I know when our son has his national holiday!

onoghur: yeah ok ur right u win this time. but still, u didn't tell me which son of ours celebrates on march the 3rd?

bulgar: the one on danube. it's his liberation day from ottoman oppression. what are we going to get him? got any ideas?

onoghur: well we can't get him anything from the afterlife cuz it'd just phase through him.

bulgar: yeah we'll go into the world of living, do u have any idea what we'll get him?

onoghur: why are u asking me, weren't u berating me for not being involved with him enough a moment ago? how could I know what to get him?

bulgar: oh right ur right. I can't think of anything right now so let's go into the world of living.

*they pass through something like a portal*

they arrive in some sort of a shopping center and attract people's attention with their arrival, medieval clothing and the fact that they're semi-transparent and glowing. most people think this is some sort of hologram/art installation initially so they whip out their phones and start recording, but then they realize something else is going on when onoghur and bulgar start walking around.

onoghur: damn bulgar look people are giving us weird looks :D u know what this means?

bulgar: we can scare them into giving us whatever we want for free! :D

onoghur: yes :D btw look at this embroidered shirt, maybe we could get him this

bulgar: nahh he already has like a shitton of embroidered shirts that he's embroidered himself. besides, let's get him something bigger! something that makes people respect and fear him!

onoghur: like a warhorse or a sword or a bow?

bulgar: nobody uses these things today. I'm thinking, let's get him an AR, or a tank :D with our ghost powers, we can do anything!

'or a new bugatti'

onoghur and bulgar turn around and see avar.

onoghur: avar wtf what are u doing here?

avar: well after my state crumbled and was taken over by ur son, I lived my final years in pliska and I was something like a father figure to him. I overheard u talking but before I could come and tell u anything, I saw u hop into that portal and I decided to follow u. I wanna get him a gift too :D

bulgar: well who cares about a bugatti! let's get him a tank, or a helicopter!

avar: if we steal one of these things, the army will be on our asses. they will find bulgaria, cause him problems and get the tank or the helicopter back. besides, if his bosses wanted him to have one of these things, they would give him one. also, he has access to all the tanks and shit in the bulgarian army, he's bulgaria after all! but the bugatti, that's something else. having such an expensive car says 'look at me, I have power, I can buy u and sell u, I can help u or destroy u, u'd better be on my good side, I can do stuff u can only dream about, I'm on a whole another level'. why do u think gold and silver and silk and all the other luxurious stuff was so important to me when I was alive?

onoghur: but wouldn't police get on our asses if we steal the bugatti?

avar: well... we'll intimidate people with our ghost powers so they don't call the police :D

*they steal a bugatti and intimidate the owner into not calling the police*

bulgar: ok so I have the most experience with the modern human world out of us three, I know how to drive a car. I'll be the driver.

avar: there are only two seats in the car and there's three of us.

onoghur: well avar I guess ur gonna have to go home or sit in my lap

avar: wait why?

onoghur: how else are we supposed to fit in that car? now if it was bulgar, there'd be no problem but I'm not sitting in some other dude's lap dammit

bulgar: bruhhh there's enough space one of u could fit in the middle, between the two seats

*they manage to somehow fit in the car*

*bulgar drives it to his son's place. there are several collisions, but it's ok, he's using his ghost powers so his car doesn't get damaged*

*they arrive in the evening, during the party. onoghur and avar leave while bulgar starts honking so his son hears the sound and comes out of the house*

bulgaria opens the front door and his jaw drops. romania, greece, serbia and turkey peek through the door and their mouths are open agape.

onoghur and avar: HAPPY LIBERATION DAY, BULGARIA!!! :DDDD

bulgar: *gets out of the car* son we got u the best car cuz u deserve it :D

meanwhile, the tv in bul's living room *loud as fuck* : GHOSTS STOLE A SPORTS CAR AND DROVE IT ALL THE WAY TO BOYANA RESIDENCE, CAUSING SEVERAL TRAFFIC INCIDENTS IN THE PROCESS. THEY WERE FILMED DISCUSSING THE ROBBERY THEY WERE ABOUT TO COMMIT IN PARADISE MALL EARLIER.

*police sirens are heard, they intensify, cops and teams of ghostbusters arrive*

america is one of the ghostbusters

america: I AINT AFRAID OF NO GHOST

what happened later is hard to describe with words. perhaps AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAILHJKFKLGUKGHLKJKKKKKKKOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOIUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUJJJJJJJJJKKKKKKKKKJHBVVVVVVVVVVVVVDDDDDDDDDDDHHSSPSOHSPSSJHHSHHHKRRFFFF is sufficient. but that's a story for another time. let's say that bul had to stay at someone else's place for a while and he didn't want to see his parents for even a longer time.

[eclipsecrowned]

It's always like this.

The end of a busy tenday, a clawing desire to unwind. The peace of the local alehouse, bathed in warm light and awash in hushed conversations, is just the place to drink down the last few days of struggle. With everything else going on in the city recently, at least there's the sureness of alcohol.

What a pity there's also the sureness of drunken rabble.

It moves too fast to be truly be reckoned. Whether the drunken mercenary aimed for the Tiefling and hit the pallid gentleman instead, or the pasty Elf took up arms for fair tank's honor, or simply ran his mouth a little too comfortably against a warhorse of a Human. Regardless, retribution is swift, a blast of magic from an adjacent table sending the far greater foe flying. A busted bottle of Berduskan Dark makes a thrilling appearance as a makeshift shiv.

Tavern brawls. A tale as old as time.

Other patrons scatter, the barmaid making a swift retreat for the back of house. It seems the two parties are ready to make a stand, blades drawn, fists cocked, even a few staffs retrieved. It will be a night to remember once the dust settles, and new rules are enacted by management.

A Halfling is sent soaring past you, colliding with a booth in the rear. Like it or not, you are temporarily involved in this fight.

[spiderton]

Spiderton headcanons. Go

anon i love you forever. anyway SORRY I DIDNT ANSWER THJS INSTANLY IM A LAZY ASS BUT HERES A LOT. OR A FEW. depends

- spiderton is somewhere always in his mid 30s or late 20s, probably.. changes up? maybe he was 28 when he was apart of the military and then 35(?) after most of the events of patapon tbh. who knows how long the rainbow bridge took to built though

- theres many ways that spiderton couldve joined the war but thanks to a friend i just hc'd that he was a mechanic that worked on most of the mechanical side of the zigoton empire. hes interested in tanks of course (because he got taught likw that rosetinted version of war in school or something) and on the side i feel like he also enjoys architecture and weaponary. he often compliments kharmas home but never herself becayse shes a little tooo mean to him

- and speaking of tanks the tank spiderton built (he built it. to clarify here although some think its just whatever demons they made a deal with) was rushed due to fhe conditions of patapons slowly beating up troops and resources going low, and with gong basically dead he rushed the tank up andnwent to battle inexperienced. the original sketches of the ziggerzank were probably so much more ambitious and grand, like the zugagang that probably had plenty of time to be built compared to.. ziggerzank and all. and really he doesnt like being a fan of being uncredited for his work whatsoever

- very minor hc but he probably wore some specialized gloves to even use the fire lance. zigotons biologically wise to me have pretty weak skin underneath the fur, and spiderton has pawpads that can easily burn, and often fire enchanted weapons feel BOILING hot so. he wore basically oven mittens that are actually flexible. they werent comfy to wear and sometimes when training he even forgot them and got burnt a little even (and hes embarrassed by that honestly)

- autistic and disabled. disabled wise it switches i think but mainly, if he lived, he ended up getting partial (? could be using this wrong feel free to tell me) leg paralysis because whatever beatup he got was NOT good on his spinal cordhe ended up keeping winona to help with walking sometimes (shes not really the best) and get from place to place, but he probably just uses something like the rewalk equivalent to get around. that or he ends up loosing a leg and has a prosthetic.. could be explaining this all wrong but i imagine it all humanwise, but can be canonwise too of course

- winona (his warhorse, and name was given by uhhh.... il forgot im so sorry) wasnt the best experienced horse bc most of the other warhorses ended up dying during battle, and winona was one of the last horses that they just gave them to spiderton. he probably had OTHER horses while training but he got stuck with winona, and winona just often acts like a big cat to be honest

- also hes a trans man. dont ask how hes many things i really like him. that or hes cis i dont really care which either but i like him being transgender.. youd know why. zigoton culture is probably netural or... Fuckingnhorrid about trans people when i think about it for too long agguhh but his mom probably didnt even care.. probably bisexual too

- also his mom, widowton (VERY basic name im sorry) ended up being a widow unironically. and she also ate spidertons dad because he wasnt a good dad and all. no one else really knows that fact and assumed he went missing however, but spiderton doesnt have.. the best relationship with his mom that he moved out to apartments when he was 19. he doesnt have any other family members that he knows of..

- spiderton is REALLY impressed by karmen architecture and weapons. probably after the ah-oohs were murdered off and the karmens got to flourish.. he just finds them very impressive, beautiful, and marvels of technology. not entirely related but got the feeling that karmens at least had a help inventing guns or something, but they arent very widespread

- spidertons real name is kumoton. its not his deadname to clarify.. he didnt bother to change it. only a few people ever call him kumo however because mostly everyone just knows him as general spiderton that he doesnt bother to correct (and being called general MIGHT make him happy if it didnt remind him of so much horrid shit)

- and uhh his Relationships he probably has a good friendship with kimen if they ever met! they always gave off the vibes that theyre nerds a little so they geek about the smallest things. maybe kimen likes biology and tells spiderton everything he knows about gastropods (gancheeks, mainly) and spiderton writes it all down because hes slowly growing impressed too!

- him and beetleton is. wow this is a mess but i feel like nonship wise they were friends at least. bickering friends but they probably DID care for each other, and beetleton doesnt have.. a lot of people to lightheartedly bicker with. i dont think beetleton ever left spiderton to die on purpose too, and when he ever realizes that spiderton died or was in critical injury and couldnt return? beetleton blames himself heavily on that.

- and then more onto kuwa, if he was kumoTAN itd be a lot more messy. kumotan wouldnt really forgive kuwagattan, and one of the reasons i feel he doesnt appear is because hes just been forgotten by everyone else, but kuwagattan never forgot and hes just so sorry for everything. even if kuwagattan is a demon, he still wonders what kumotan would think- and somehow convinced himself that maybe kumotan would come over and help him with this fight! and then he didnt. oops

- if spiderton did live though he probably wouldnt know of kuwagattan, at leaaast at first.... he just assumed beetleton died in the war and doesnt like to ever think about it, and mayhe is a little mad but his feelings are just conflicted. and then kuwa SOMEHOW comes back and now spiderton has to deal with the war he was in and now is trying to avoid reminding him of every single mistake he made. and its gonna be a lot

- i could say so much abut the spiderkuwa dynamic too but i could just imagine kuwagattan just casually breaking into spidertons apartment and going Hey uhmmm i need a place to stay and youre all i know....... and jts the fucking Uhm... Meow? scene trope thing basically. and now spiderton has this giant hot demon for a roommate. its actually okay though but remember what i said before? yeah

- also spiderton probably doesnt have a lot of friends. probably was homeschooled real often, that or he DID go to physical school once in a while.. always felt like his only other friends outside of beetleton were probably some of his engineering buddies (one of which is like. one of the few first ocs i made LOL) before he was dragged into being a general.. hes too awkward to ever revisit or anything

- always had the feeling that spiderton is based on these silk weavers.. theres probably red ones but they just come to mind first, so now he probably smells like bananas LOL

- (honestly though he'd just smell like gasoline or sweat. that or both, he doesnt shower real often but he likes to swim surprisingly sometimes)

[a-mag-a-day]

MAG 95 - mowing the lawn (this activity will also take a while…)

"riding out onto the battlefield with your banner held high, a warhorse below you" - ok, as an equestrian I find the usage of horses for battles highly fascinating! A lot of the haute école stuff are just old battle moves. The most obvious one being the capriole of course. The horse jumping and kicking its hind legs. But also not so obvious stuff, like a pirouette for a fast turns or to shove enemy away.

"The silence lasted for about four seconds. Then there was the gunshot. It echoed around the mountain for far longer than it had any right to. We scattered immediately, instincts triggering to find cover. Too late for poor Alfredo, a small man whose sister I had once courted long ago. He remained stood exactly where he’d been when the bullet went clean through his skull." - This reflects a sentence from the very begin of the statement: "Fear that some unseen enemy might end your life from a mile away with a tank round or an artillery shell."

"The only indication we saw that we weren’t utterly alone would be the periodic sound of a gunshot, as another of our number fell." - This continues to be the terror they are facing.

"I pressed on, trying to find gaps between the bodies where it was still dirt, trying to avoid touching them. But those spaces became smaller and smaller, and the corpses were now piled two or three deep. It wasn’t long before the one way forward was clambering over them, climbing along their stiff, unfeeling limbs." - Has anyone read "All Quiet on the Western Front" from Erich Maria Remarque? In this statement, it's very over the top and surreal (naturally, since it's supposed to be supernatural), but in the book there's a scene in which the protagonist crawls across the battle field (it's been so long, I can't remember it in detail), also gripping parts of fallen soldiers and reading it is just pure horror.

Martin really sounds miserable after that statement…

MARTIN "John came by. He asked Melanie to see what she could hunt down about the owners of an old depot up in Newcastle, and asked me to get him a couple of books on taxidermy from the library. Then he left. Again. I mean, I’m glad he’s back, and I guess he seems to trust us a bit more, now, but… And – and I’m glad we can help, of course I am. It’s just what he’s doing seems really dangerous. And I get that he’s worried about us. I mean, we worry about him as well. I worry." - Awwwwwwww

BASIRA "Introduction to Alchemy. It’s, um, really interesting, actually – you know a lot of the symbols people use come from astrology and alchemy. Like the symbol everyone thinks is the female symbol is actually the old astrological sign for Venus, which means it also means copper in alchemy. Which is kind of… What?" - MAGNUS PROTOCOL FORESHADOWING, naaah, I'm just kidding xD Seems like Jonny and/or Alex were already into alchemy a bit, I guess?

Basira really showing her Eye-alignment here.

Poor Martin can't catch a break, from a war scare to a person quietly reading, possibly eavesdropping scare (probably, Basira was a detective, there's no way she wasn't aware of her surroundings and cataloguing details, she later says Martin's "got it bad" for Jon and that's from collecting this type of evidence)

[warhorsehistory]

When Were Tanks First Used in War? | Battle of the Somme

The first tanks used in war were during the Battle of the Somme, World War I (WWI, First World War) in 1916. from WARHORSE HISTORY https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ode_62fd4vM

[tsportsday]

In 2021, when India played England in Bristol - the side’s first red-ball game in seven years - the overarching question was about the future of Tests in the women’s game. When India’s next stop in the longest form of the game came a few months later against Australia in Perth - a pink ball affair this time - the footnote remained unchanged. So when there is an 802-day gap for India’s next Test match, one can’t fault think tanks for struggling to strike a balance between backing proven warhorses and young blood waiting to show what they can do, for a four-day Test match.ALSO READ | Harmanpreet looking to script a victorious start to her legacy as red ball captainEngland has had better luck with fixtures given that Tests are a part of the multi-format Ashes series. The side features players comfortable with red ball cricket - from skipper Heather Knight to Tammy Beaumont, who comes into this Test after a scintillating 208 in the Trent Bridge Test earlier this year. This or thatEngland’s trump card though is undoubtedly Sophie Ecclestone who romps into this game as an automatic starter with seven wickets in three games in the recently concluded T20I series. When India and England sparred in the Bristol Test, Ecclestone took eight wickets to leave India grasping for air after which Sneh Rana and Taniya Bhatia pulled off a marvellous rescue act.  England’s Nat Sciver Brunt, Heather Knight and Sophie Ecclestone during the practice session ahead of India Vs England Test match. | Photo Credit: EMMANUAL YOGINI/The Hindu England’s Nat Sciver Brunt, Heather Knight and Sophie Ecclestone during the practice session ahead of India Vs England Test match. | Photo Credit: EMMANUAL YOGINI/The Hindu “Sophie recently dislocated her shoulder and that she has done the work and come back and continued to find success is a testament to the cricketer she is,” Beaumont said about her teammate. Knight has a couple of toss-ups on her hands. Emma Lamb’s injury means Beaumont will get a new opening partner with Maia Bouchier looking primed to take up that spot given the hard yards she put in at the nets. Sophia Dunkley, who has been woefully out of form for far longer than she would like, might not be out of the picture given the added option of leg spin she provides. Lauren Filer’s fastish rippers make her a good candidate to make the England XI and might help her edge out namesake Lauren Bell. “Conditions certainly impact the playing XI. You’re backing your best cricketers obviously, but heat and humidity means conversations of an extra batter and extra bowler come up and we’re leaning towards an extra bowler,” Knight said a day ahead of the game. Fresh facesOnly Harmanpreet and Smriti Mandhana remain from the 2014 side that faced South Africa. India’s selection choices may look simple or challenging depending on what the coach and captain want to prioritise in this game. Shafali Verma, Mandhana (who scored her maiden Test ton vs Australia), Jemimah Rodrigues, Harmanpreet, and Yastika Bhatia look set to form the top five, having put in performances that show their solidity in these positions.Given that any sign of grass on the wicket at the D.Y.Patil Stadium was meticulously shaved off over the day, India could look for a two-seamer-three-spinner combination, falling back on the tried and tested trio of Deepti Sharma, Sneh Rana and Rajeshwari Gayakwad. Renuka Thakur and Pooja Vastrakar can saddle pace duties.  Harmanpreet Kaur and Coach Amol Muzumdar during the practice session ahead of India Vs England Test match. | Photo Credit: EMMANUAL YOGINI/The Hindu Harmanpreet Kaur and Coach Amol Muzumdar during the practice session ahead of India Vs England Test match. | Photo Credit: EMMANUAL YOGINI/The Hindu “In 2014, I was the only offspinner in the side, and my first wicket was off a full toss. Now we have enough spinners that I won’t be needed with the ball,” Harmanpreet said before the game. But her off-spin and ability to find breakthroughs when momentum dries up will mean she might need to stay on the ball in more ways than one. England is set to play its 100th Test match, which will make it the first nation to get to the mark. With a more assured and seasoned outfit, Knight and Co. might have a slight edge over the home team, but it will come down to who reads the conditions the best and adapts a largely white-ball playing philosophy to the longest format of the game. SQUADSINDIA: Smriti Mandhana, Jemimah Rodrigues, Harmanpreet Kaur (C), Shafali Verma, Deepti Sharma, Harleen Deol, Shubha Satheesh, Meghna Singh, Pooja Vastrakar, Yastika Bhatia, Richa Ghosh, Sneh Rana, Saika Ishaque, Renuka Thakur, Titas Sadhu, Rajeshwari Gayakwad ENGLAND: Alice Capsey, Danielle Wyatt, Sophia Dunkley, Heather Knight (C), Nat Sciver-Brunt, Tammy Beaumont, Bess Heath, Amy Jones, Emma Lamb, Maia Bouchier, Lauren Bell, Kate Cross, Charlotte Dean, Sophie Ecclestone, Lauren Filer

[icryyoumercy]

#im absolutely no expert#but I AM a Horse Girl™#So I'd say something like a Shire horse or Percheron#So heavy#maybe cross those two#because since its middle earth your knights probably aren't as heavy as the French cavalry was#So the Percheron would be a bit of an overkill for dual warhorse workhorse purposes#though it was and is used today for both heavy lifting and heavy pulling#you loose agility and it will eat the hair off your head bc Big#and sink into fields it's supposed to plow (though not very much since Big Hoofs)#and the shire is a pretty slim breed actually#which is because the breeding focus for centuries was height#which is another thing you should think about#what is the primary enemy it was bred to be used against#bc if its orcs aou definitely want to go big ass and heavy as shit#So more like a Percheron which can take A Lot before collapsing#but if its any of the horse ringing people (elves/humans etc)#you'd breed more towards shire#bc those will absolutely TOWER over those little fucking warm bloods you see in the Jackson movies#and the work is also to be considered#bc a Percheron will be able to pull trees around and fucking uproot smaller ones#plowing etc is no problem for both of them#but shire are faster#which is think is the main point: both of them are pretty good workhorses#but the shire is fast and agile and the Percheron is a tank#but if in your world specialised breeding hasn't been around all that long#or you can't really decide between them#I'd just go the middle way and make a not as thicc not as tall cold blood#as for ponys you usually don't see as much of them as workhorse#less bc they're small and more bc they're assholes that don't listen to you

now i am conflicted! i had figured for an actual standing army, i could get away with just going 'eh, it's a destrier, who knows' and then pair them with a militia rider whose horse mostly needs to be trustworthy and small, in order to be affordable when not doing actual war things

but the thought of having a lineup consisting of a shettie, a cob, and a percheron/shire cross is hilarious and i need to think about this a lot more :D

thank you!

once again facing the standard problem with writing tolkien fic

is there such a thing as a dual-purpose war and work horse, and if so, what would it be named in a world where there are none of the locations horse breeds are so often named after

if anyone knows things about horses, please advise?

[marshmallow-biscuit-blog]

here's my art summary of my favorite drawings this year! Thank you all for tagging along with me. <3

[walkingthroughthisworld]

Snapshots of tanker life from 3-8 CAV Twitter

[beerbatteredbooty]

Very much thinking about how nuts it is that there are builds in Warframe literally called "eidolon-killers". Like, there are these massive, effectively immortal machines(?) just out roaming the plains at night. You know that they were built, or maybe bred?, by a society significantly earlier and likely more advanced than you. Somehow, those guys all died or were killed, but their machines/beasts of burden/warhorses still walk around out there, every night, like nothing's wrong.

Beyond that, these things are powered and protected by power that doesn't quite come from Heaven, but it comes from somewhere in the same place as Heaven. They can't be hurt by any means, they actually have little minions that can be killed, but just stick around as ghosts that continue to attack you. The only way to actually damage them is to get a Tenno, essentially a kid from the same not-Heaven place, and break down the eidolon's barriers. Even after that, it's still ridiculously tough underneath, needing every one of it's main joins broken before actually being able to kill it.

Despite all of this, there are still Tenno out there who practically make it their jobs to kill these demigod-like creatures, to the point where there's a rifle famous for killing eidolons (Rubico). Specifically designed to be radioactive, no less. Thing is, eidolons aren't the only threat, so these hunters, if they aren't comically rich, are probably going to be using that rifle for normal missions, because it's one of their best weapons.

Just imagine if some guy took an elephant rifle modified to punch through a fucking tank without issue, as well as use plutonium rounds, and used it on normal soldiers on a battlefield. That is what happens in Warframe. That is what I do in Warframe.

[imsobadatnicknames2]

If the design intent is that at higher levels you're supposed to be Conan or Goku, a superhuman damage-sponge juggernaut tanking hit after hit and barely even flinching, okay, that's great. A lot of people are into that. But then what is the point of saying stuff like this (AD&D PHB, page 34):

Let us suppose that a 10th level fighter has 55 hit points, plus a bonus of 30 hit points for his constitution, for a total of 85 hit points. This is the equivalent of about 18 hit dice for creatures, about what it would take to kill four huge warhorses. It is ridiculous to assume that even a fantastic fighter can take that much punishment. The same holds true to a lesser extent for clerics, thieves, and the other classes. Thus, the majority of hit points are symbolic of combat skill, luck (bestowed by supernatural powers), and magical forces.

Like that's just the writers lying to you about what their design intent was bc they want to have their cake and eat it too lol

I love the whole Hit Points Not Meat Points thing with D&D because like. Okay I guess that saying "HP is an abstraction of your physical and mental durabilty and your will to fight etc. when you lose HP it doesn't necessarily represent taking physical damage, it can also represent getting worn down by the fight" can be a nice-sounding way to handwave away why D&D characters tend to become damage sponges as they level up, but then the book refuses to commit to that idea in any meaningful way and never describes HP in any terms other than physical damage anywhere beyond that one paragraph.

And then D&D fans who swear by that one paragraph will hear someone say that HP makes no sense and they'll be like "no bro HP makes total sense as long as you keep in mind that hits aren't actually hits, damage isn't actually damage, and healing isn't actually healing"

[yourplayersaidwhat]

Party consists of a monk, a bard, and a ranged fighter. We’re currently fighting fire cultists.

Bard: I’m going to inspire (fighter).

Monk: Play Wonderwall!

Bard: … *rolls for performance, getting a nat 20 for almost a total of 30*

Bard: I invent the DnD equivalent to Wonderwall.

Later in combat:

Monk: Well, I am about dead, so I’m gonna go pet this elk over here instead of fighting. *nat 20, getting an absurdly high number*

DM: The elk moves and engages the cultists to fight in your place.

*Elk proceeds to tank the cultists for 3 rounds before going down while bard and fighter shoot at cultists. The Elk killed the most cultists*

Bard: I…I would like to Healing Word the elk.

Monk who has had 6 hitpoints for 5 rounds and his been searching tents rather than helping: D:

*Elk then tanks for the rest of the combat*

Monk: That elk was so much more effective than the warhorse.

Bard: Well, in it’s defense, it did get Fireballed…

~

Shortly after combat:

Bard: I would like to search the cultists. *nat 20 for a very high roll* I know everything he has ever owned.