#tan is writing

[treshmind]

F!Tav having a postpartum depression

…and Astarion is dealing with this.

To say the least, you and Astarion were terrified of this pregnancy from the very beginning. For many - many - obvious reasons.

But overall you both were excited and even came up with some names (and kept them secret as an elven tradition). One of your studies in the house was quickly turned into the nursery with the painted night sky on the ceiling (it was Astarion’s idea).

Jaheira kept an eye on you since she found out you’re pregnant and her help was unmatched. Astarion wrote down everything she’s ever said about babies and how to take care of them. You couldn’t help but smile at that.

And when The Day came you felt absolutely ready for the new life ahead of you. Sleepless nights, cute pointy ears of your child, diapers, their first steps and so on. You couldn’t wait to meet them - dhampir or not.

Astarion was restless during labour and Jaheira even sent him off - a handful of times - to which he protested. He wanted to stay by your side no matter what, even though the amount of your blood suddenly made him dizzy.

…and then your child was born.

Oh did they took everything after their father? Hell yeah. White curls, his natural eye color, nose and ears shapes. They were perfect.

The first few days were hard but Astarion (who only needs like 4 hours of sleep/trance) helped a lot. You were endlessly thankful for having him in your life.

…until you started feeling quite useless compared to him.

You fed the child, sang to them and still they cried in your arms however Astarion’s cold embrace seemed to soothe them.

You started questioning whether you should have become mother in the first place.

You were crying all the time if something went wrong in your opinion. Baby bit you while feeding? You’re a horrible mother. Astarion went to the nursery before you even realized baby was restless? You’re a horrible mother.

You spent most of your day in bed, staring at the wall, crying or sleeping.

Astarion was worried sick. He remembered Jaheira saying the first few days were going to be tough, but it’s been weeks.

“My love, is something the matter?” - he would ask at every given occasion.

“I’m just tired” - you would whisper and hide your face (“So puffy and ugly” - you would think to yourself) in the pillow.

Then it gone worse. You were barely touching baby, even during the feeding. And your child felt this abandonment. They would cry until Astarion held them closer to your scrawny chest.

You’ve lost a lot of weight too. No matter how Astarion begged for you to eat, it always took a few bites before you pushed the plate from the table.

Astarion’s on edge. He can’t take care of two helpless creatures at the same time and it’s been weeks since he hunted properly.

The baby is clearly malnourished even with the complementary feeding. He talks about it with you… or tries to.

It makes things worse. You’ve thrown a tantrum, screaming how terrible you are as a mother because your baby is basically starving.

Luckily Jaheira visits your house when your baby is a month old, as she promised.

She’s speechless for a while, seeing both you and baby in this state.

She helps Astarion with a baby and lets him go for a quick hunt (“Some might consider your inability to see yourself in the mirror right now as a mercy, little vampire”). He agrees hesitantly.

When he comes back he finds you taking a bath, while baby is asleep and Jaheira untangling your hair. She notices Astarion in the doorway and leaves you two alone.

He sits down behind you and starts untangling your hair. He asks for permission before helping you wash your whole body. You simply nod and this only makes him feel as like his undead heart skipped a beat.

After that, you two end up in bed, cuddling and talking about your feelings.

Astarion feels horrible for not asking Jaheira’s help earlier - but shuts it down. It’s not about him.

“It’s alright to struggle with something new. Remember? That’s what you told me all this years ago” he whispers gently in your ear.

“What if I shouldn’t have been a mother at all? That’s why it took so long for me to get pregnant”

“It’s not like we tried to achieve that specifically” he chuckles.

“And it doesn’t matter. You will be a great mother. You already are. No one is as kind and caring as you. You see only good in people and help them even they are doomed. I’m a living proof of that” he continues, caressing your cheek. “And I want to help you now”.

[writings-of-a-demigod]

“I don’t think Y/n’s hearing aids are working that well.” Deacon said being worried.

“What makes you think they are not working?” Hondo asked.

“Cuz sometimes after we ask them for something, they act like it was the first time I ask them that.”

They were both heading to you to see if you got any new info on the case. As they made their way they could hear the rest of the team arguing, Tan and Luca vs Street while you just stood there looking at them with dead eyes then turned to the Ipad in your hand.

“I honestly think that would be a waste of time and they could get away before we close in on them.” Street defended.

“Hey hey hey what’s going on in here?” Hondo asked.

“Just deciding on our new approach.” Tan replied.

“So what we got so far?” Deacon asked.

They all turned to look at you, your eyes were still locked on the Ipad in your hand, having no idea what’s going on around you. They waited for a whole minute just in case you were pulling on the files.

“Y/n?” Hondo called you.

He called you again but still no respond. Deacon shared a look with Hondo. Street touched your arm and that’s when you turned your head to look at him and noticed the whole team was already looking at you.

You smiled then put your hand behind your ear and turn on your hearing aid “What?”

They all looked shocked at you.

“Did you turn off your hearing aid?” Tan asked.

You nodded. Jim chuckled because he knows this, you did this all the time at home.

“Why?” it was Luca’s turn.

“Oh” you let out a small laugh “Whenever I know there’s going to be some dumb argument, I just turn it off so the stupidness doesn’t affect me.”

“Yeah, that explains so much.” Deacon commented.

A/n: This was requested by an anonymous. I've actually had this idea in mind for weeks I just didn't know for who to write it. Thank you!

[tanix-dragon]

Is That a New Guy or Am I Losing My Mind; or, A Beginner's Guide to Finding Headmates

Written by Roger de Camden of the Draconic Wizard Workshop

Hello, everybody! This is an essay for both plurals who might struggle finding, identifying, or confirming headmates, as well as people who are questioning whether or not they’re plural. Certain pieces of advice may apply better to questioners than established systems, and vice versa, but rest assured, it is intended for both!

This essay will be broken into several sections for various “phases” of discovery and working things out, but a disclaimer before we get to that: this is heavily based on our own experiences. This is not a one-size-fits-all kind of guide. I’m going to try to make it such, but, well, I can’t make any promises, because there are infinite ways of being a system out there, and everyone’s a little different. This is just what I’ve found works for us, and, to a large extent, many of our system friends! That being said, if you try to start syscourse or invalidate other systems for any reason in response to this essay, I’m going to block you and that’s that.

Also, sorry if I go between spellings for words. I’m English, but the body is American and that means that I don’t know how to spell certain words anymore.

So! Onwards, towards discovery!

Step One: Getting an Inkling

The first step to figuring out whether or not you’ve got a headmate (new or otherwise undiscovered; I’ll mostly be calling them “new” as in “new to you”) is having an inkling that one might exist. This is mostly a passive process, and you’re probably familiar with it if you’re reading this guide. Maybe you felt something scuttle through headspace (if you have one) or through the back of your mind. Maybe you felt a presence looming behind you, mentally, that bolted when you “looked.” Maybe you had a very strong emotional reaction to something that makes no sense for you to react to, but would make sense for a character you’ve been really attached to in a show. Or maybe you slipped into an unfamiliar accent, had a loss of memories and woke up with nail polish on in a colour you hate, or just felt an opinion about something that doesn’t match your usual one. Sometimes, you may even “hear” comments about things going on in your mind.

There are a lot of little things that can tip you off. Most of them are going to be things that are misaligned with your own perception of yourself, your opinions, and your behavior. This is usually a sign that someone is co-conscious or co-fronting with you without you being aware of it. Some headmates are very sneaky this way, and some may not realise that they exist at all while doing this! Don’t hold being hard to notice or get a hold of against your headmates—many of them don’t realise that they exist, don’t know how to not be this way, or are doing it for what they perceive to be a good reason (this last one is especially common in disordered systems). Maybe they’re scared, or just not ready to be confronted yet. Don’t worry—remember, you have your whole lives to figure out everyone who’s in there, and the time will pass anyways! Take it easy.

One specific thing that tends to tip us off to a new fictive is that we realise that… no one is aware of running a character that we’re playing in a tabletop roleplaying game. Maybe someone started off running them, but they sure seem to be doing their own thing now! That character may be hard to “turn off” or “put on the shelf” when you stop playing them—and they may continue to make comments and have opinions about things in your life. This is a dead giveaway! Sometimes when we think about a character, we feel a “movement” or interest somewhere in our mind that doesn’t match anyone else’s pattern of thinking or interests, which also can be a giveaway that they’re scuttling around somewhere. Also beneficial, for us, is our synesthesia—every headmate has a colour associated with them, and when we get a thought pattern that seems to match someone but the colour is off, it can make us realise that maybe there’s someone else in here. For example, if someone were to be really interested in jellyfish, we might think that it’s Caspian, but if the colour comes back as red and not blue, then we know for certain that it’s not him.

This first inkling of a new headmate may be obvious or it may be subtle. You may question yourself repeatedly, but remember: if you feel like you are “accidentally faking,” that’s not how faking works. Faking must be done intentionally and on purpose. You could be wrong, yes, but being wrong isn’t inherently bad. It’s just that you were mistaken about something. Nothing wrong with that! We’re all mistaken about all kinds of things every day! Be kind to yourself while trying to figure things out.

Step Two: Are You There, Headmate? It’s Me, Your Other Headmate

Steps two and three are interchangeable in order, but I thought I’d put this one first because it tends to be the one that’s hardest and most distressing, rather than step three, which is about identifying who the hell your headmate is. We’ll get to that, never fear!

So, let’s say you think there might be someone in there. How can you tell for sure? How can you open communication? How can you get them integrated okay?

The bad news is that this depends heavily on the system. The good news is that there’s no need to panic, rush, or be afraid, because once again, you’ll figure it out eventually, and it will be okay!

My first suggestion is to take note of everything that’s made you think there might be someone else in there. Write it down, if that helps! Write down everything that seems to get the entity’s attention, if anything. Write down anything that might help you identify who it might be! In some instances, you might have a character that seems a little independent but you can’t tell whether they’re really a headmate or not. In my experience, this is often how many non-disordered systems (but it’s not exclusive to them!) realise that they’re plural. Knowing who it is will make this step easier, but it isn’t necessary! After all, if you know who it is, you can also write down things that might bait them into responding. Interests and friends of theirs are good examples.

Your goal in this step is to try to draw them out into doing things, speaking, or acting in ways that will give away that they are for certain there. For systems with heavy amnesia or dissociative barriers, this might be significantly harder, but my best suggestion there is to jump straight to trying to communicate, however you can—and this isn’t a bad approach for other systems, either. You can try internal communication, although you might get no response, or an abnormal one, if the headmate is new. For example, with us, new headmates usually respond to direct queries with anxiety—which, while not good for communication and not ideal for the headmate in question, does help us key in on the fact that they definitely exist. You can also try external communication, if internal communication isn’t working or is difficult for you. Write a note in a journal or a sticky note, or even in a notes app or a private Discord server. Sometimes, headmates can find replying over text to be easier. If you’re a high-dissociation and high-amnesia system who is trying to figure out if it’s someone old or new who is fronting and doing things while you’re unaware, leaving sticky notes places asking people to write down who’s fronting when they see it (if they even know who they are) might be helpful. Keep experimenting, and do what works best for you!

As a last resort for uncertain, new, or inexperienced systems, you can try something called “puppeting” on a suspected headmate, especially if you know who they are and just aren’t sure whether or not they’re here. A warning: this is rude and not advised under most circumstances, but sometimes it’s the only way to make absolutely sure that someone is in there with you, especially when you’re not used to it. Have an apology ready and mean it. Puppeting is when you try to force a headmate to do something, especially something unusual or out of character for them. For example, if I thought I might have my character Gorka as a headmate, but I wasn’t sure, I might try to call up a scenario involving Gorka and then try to imagine her doing something wildly out of character, that she would never, ever do. If I couldn’t get a response out of that, or if I had no idea who this new headmate might be, I might just try to make them physically do something—strongly imagining them doing a stupid dance or similar! No response doesn’t necessarily mean you do or do not have a headmate, but a strong response—usually of anger, offense, or “slapping” your “hands” away—indicates someone separate from yourself! Apologize immediately and then attempt to engage in communication once they’ve calmed down a little, or try to transition into it through an explanation. 

There are a lot of reasons that a headmate might not respond to puppeting, though. They might be non-confrontational, or hiding their presence from you intentionally for any number of reasons. (Maybe they’re nervous, not ready to exist yet, afraid of how you might respond, afraid of accepting that they’re in a system—it could be anything.) In cases like this, you might just get discomfort instead of a strong response, which is easy to confuse for being your own rather than theirs. Try to sort out whether you just feel strange doing it, or if it’s someone else’s discomfort bleeding through. I know it’s hard, but that’s a difficult thing to give advice for, I’m afraid! Other reasons may be that they just dip from the front when you try (removing themself from your sphere of influence completely), or if they’re a character you frequently play, they might be so used to being pulled around into doing things that it doesn’t bother them, or bothers them so little that you don’t notice.

Usually, if you’re at the point of trying puppeting, there’s enough signs that this person really is a headmate to dissuade you from trying it once you’re a little more used to it. It’s a temporary and unideal tool that should leave your toolbox as soon as you become confident enough to identify new headmates without getting grabby with them. Undoubtedly, trying to establish communication is a better approach, if you can get it to work.

Usually, once we’ve properly spotted a headmate and made it clear to them that we know they’re there, one of two things happens: either they come sit in the front for a few days or weeks to settle in, let us identify them, and get used to being a full active member of the system, or they realise that they exist and have a panic attack. This “new headmate panic” can last anywhere from a few minutes to multiple days, and may fluctuate in strength. Sometimes, a new headmate might seem fine early on, but have this panic after a few days, weeks, or even longer. Be gentle during this time, especially if you yourself have a strong reaction—be gentle with both, or all, of you! Realizing that you’re in a system can be very distressing, as can realizing you have a new headmate, so try to be gentle, let yourself feel what you’re going to feel, and work through it in the best way you have. Try not to direct any anger or negative feelings towards anyone else in your system during this time, and just let the storm pass before really trying to get to know each other.

Step Three: Who Is This Guy, Anyway?

Once again, you can do this step before or after step two, but I put it here because I decided to include some tips for getting to know your headmate, not just identifying them (if there is anything to identify). If your system is introject-heavy, or if you’re asking yourself if you’re just really interested in a character or if they’re a new headmate, this is an important step! Who is this? Are they an introject of some kind? Are they something or someone else? Is there anything to identify, per se, or is it just a situation of getting to know a whole new person? This is a very, very different step depending on your system, and is going to skew very much towards my own experiences. I’m sorry about that, but I will do my best!

If you’ve already established communication with this headmate, even if it’s shaky, you can try to get information from them that way. They might be willing to give you a name, a code name, a colour, an aesthetic, likes or dislikes, something you can use to familiarise yourself with them or identify them from a list of “suspects” if you have such a thing. (We always do, because we’re almost all fictives, and we know our own patterns at this point.) For us, new headmates almost never actually identify, and just sullenly sit while trying to figure themselves out and will only confirm who they are once we figure it out. It’s sort of like playing a mystery game, assembling clues based on a myriad of factors. If you have some suspicions, just like the previous step, you can try to bait out responses by doing things that might interest who you suspect this headmate might be.

Again, I suggest writing things down! Write down likes and dislikes, things that get their attention, interests, even things that make them anxious or afraid. Whether it’s a case of identification or just getting to know them, this is invaluable information for interacting with someone sharing a head with you, and it may even be helpful for them as they get their feet under them.

Another invaluable tool is talking to people outside of your system. They can help you identify when you’re acting unusually, when you might have someone unfamiliar riding co-conscious, and even who that person might be. You may be too tangled up in your own feelings, your dissociation, or the desperation to understand who is in your head with you. It’s easy to get lost in the weeds and lose sight of the big picture, but another friend, especially another system that knows you well, can be extremely helpful! One of our system friends has clocked many a headmate of ours before we were even certain they were there—just “hmm, you’ve been very much like X lately” and they were absolutely right. 

Regardless, taking notes on your new headmate, asking them about themselves, and sharing things about yourself are all important steps to getting to know them! They may be uncomfortable, they may distrust you, they may be afraid—or they could be friendly and excited to be here! It really depends on who it is and their comfort level. Don’t push—if they’re not comfortable talking yet, don’t make them! Let them adjust at their own pace and get to know them as they’re willing to let you. I know it can be distressing to have a totally unknown entity co-fronting with you, but sometimes it’s one of those things that you have to take a deep breath and carry on through until they’re willing to talk. I know you can do it! Talk through it with someone outside of your own head if it’s difficult to give yourself some fortitude if you need to. I know it helps me.

Step Four: Now What?

Let’s say that you’ve confirmed that you do have a headmate, and either have or are on the road to identifying them, if applicable. Now what?

As I’ve said before: be gentle with yourselves! Especially for a new or inexperienced system, and especially for someone who is just realising that they’re a system, this can be overwhelming, distressing, or any other number of emotions. Remember that having or gaining headmates isn’t inherently a bad thing, and while this all might take some getting used to, it’s going to be okay. You’ll figure out an equilibrium eventually, and it is absolutely possible to live a long, happy life with your headmates. Remember that you’re all in this together, and you’re a team.

People may not want you to notice them, may not want to be in the system, or may avoid attention as best they can for a lot of reasons, and trying to make them feel at home, or at least more comfortable, is essential. It can be scary being in a system all of a sudden, especially if they’re an introject or otherwise had a life outside or before this one. Maybe they don’t like the body, or are afraid of another headmate, or are terrified of a negative response from you or someone else. Don’t force these people into situations they’re not ready for! If you’re looking for someone, trying to identify them, or trying to help them, and you’re just causing a lot of distress, back off for a while. Let them calm down and come to you in their own time. Sometimes, you have to do the system equivalent of leaving cookies out on a plate and turning your back to them so that your new headmate can take them without being watched. Take things at the pace that you’re all the most comfortable with, and as always, be kind.

I really do suggest talking to someone about this process, if you can. Journal if you’d like, especially if you can’t trust anyone with this, or don’t feel comfortable doing so yet. Getting your words out of your head helps you sort them out a lot, especially in the case of systems, where a lot of people’s thoughts can get jumbled together. Writing them all down, even if you don’t know whose they are, can be helpful. We find that talking to other system friends is of the most benefit, and our new members are far more likely to speak to them first rather than us, because there’s a degree of separation and that’s more comfortable for them. Whatever works for you, do it! The idea is to get comfortable with each other, and with being here together.

Find things that your new headmate likes doing. Goratrix has a whole panel about this aimed at fictives, but essentially, if your new headmate doesn’t have reason to front and isn’t interested in anything, you probably won’t see much of them, and they may end up miserable. Make sure you engage with them and their interests. Let them make friends if they’d like. Get them snacks. Again: whatever works! This is going to depend very heavily on your system, so follow your gut instinct on this one, I think.

Absolutely essential, though, is to not repress anybody. I know sometimes getting a new headmate can be scary, especially if they’re unfamiliar, frightening, seemingly monstrous, or a persecutor, but remember: they’re probably just as freaked out as you are, if not more so, and they need patience and understanding. Statistically, if they’re doing something troublesome, they’re trying to help and just don’t know how, or are misguided on what “help” looks like. Be kind, and try to find a solution that works for everyone.

Past that… just get to know each other. Figure out how to live together and how to make your combined life the best life it can be. For us, there’s so many of us that someone new can almost always find a fast friend in someone else, and sticks with them for a while until they’re more used to the system and more confident fronting and doing things without their buddy. Other systems may be able to mimic this approach, or may need to do something very different. Again, again, again, do what works best for you! If parts of this guide seem unhelpful or counterproductive, ignore them! This is based on our experience of plurality, not yours. Always do what’s best for you, what helps the most of you, and what causes the least distress while still letting you function as much as you need to.

Being plural is a very personal experience, in a lot of ways, which is pretty funny because sometimes that personal experience is spread across two or twenty or five hundred people. It’s also a very personalized experience, meaning we’re all quite different. Your “now what?” might look very different from ours, and that’s okay. We can only do our best, and that’s always good enough.

I hope this is helpful to someone! If you have any questions, please feel free to ask, and I may edit this guide in the future if it seems that I left something out or think of anything to add. =)

[cable-salamdr]

Haha jk the gays are alive and well here’s some more Bumblebee propaganda + a vague reference for older Percy

[vuiltone]

it's june my dudes

[gen4grl]

my johto timeskip designs + bios/teams below!

i think about this group ALOT!!! if i had any confidence in writing i would easily share the whole hgss rewrite i have in my head but alas… just take my drawings instead! i like to give characters more “realistic” outfits… not really a modern au? i love to imagine the pokemon world with all our worlds pop culture which inspires my designs! long post but enjoy!!! ( ˘ ³˘)♥︎

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lyra + 20. champion ranked trainer

♡ Raised by her single mother, aunt and older cousin Kris in the small New Bark home. Her father died when she was 6 in a mining incident involving Team Rocket. Bubbles, her ace Azumarill, was gifted to Lyra by her father on her 5th birthday - being her final gift from him.

♡ Extremely outgoing, sweetly optimistic and immensely empathic. Absolutley loves making friends and talking to every kind of person. However, is extremely competitive & stubbon and gets frustrated easily - resulting in her giving up quickly but is also extremely quick to be re-motivated. Often feels the emotions of others intensely. Very country girl with an extremely strong Johtoian accent and lisp. Loves 'girly' things like makeup + fashion, period dramas and collecting nick-nacks but also loves spending her days outdoors, espcially in the National Park with Ethan watching the bug-catching contests or the Safari Zone.

♡ Struggled with her battle confidence as a young trainer which resulted in her having to re-battle Falkner and Bugsy several times. Over her journey grew an appreciation for pokemon perceived to be 'weak' & cute and built her team around showing the powers of these types of pokemon. Despite being a Champion Ranked trainer, Lyra opted to work with Ethans grandparents at the daycare center where she specialises in pokemon breeding and training weaker pokemon + their trainers.

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silver + 23. champion ranked trainer

♡ Only child of Rocket Boss, Giovanni. Was born and raised on Island 5 of the Sevii Islands by multiple admins, most commonly Archer before running away to Johto. Has a deep rooted and consistent fear that he’ll never amount to anything but “Giovanni's kid”. Was extremely tight lipped about his upbringing to the trio, especially after learning of his loose connection to Lyras father’s passing. Finally told them the truth of his family after the defeat and final disbandment of Team Rocket.

♡ Originally extremely standoffish, condescending and at times, aggressive. As an adult is still quite serious and independent, but genuinely enjoys the time he spends with his friends and is surprisingly protective of them - especially Lyra and Kris. As time passed, his anger towards his father evolved more into guilt, however, over the years has become more patient, gentle and forgiving with not only others but himself. He still can come off quite intimidating to strangers, but these changes are noticeably visible to those close to him. While usually a quiet person, has a very dry and witty sense of humour that takes most people by surprise.

♡ Mentored by Lance, and later Blue, and spends a large amount of time training in the Dragons Den. While unsure of what direction he wants his life to go into, Lance is adamant he would make a fantastic gym leader or elite four member. Always accompanies Lyra to the yearly Champion Balls and Alola trips. Currently lives in a small beachside bungalow with Lyra in Cherrygrove where he enjoys spending his free time reading and teaching himself guitar.

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ethan + 21

♡ The childhood friend of Lyra, Ethan was raised by his father and grandparents in New Bark. Extremely courteous, friend & family oriented and easy to talk to. A natural comic and can make even the straightest face people crack a slight smile - Red being his proudest achievement. Lax and slightly ditsy but can adapt to any situation and group of people like a flick of a switch. Not the best at articulating himself but always puts 110% into making sure people feel comfortable through his actions.

♡ Completed the 8 Johto gyms but never challenged the Elite Four & Lance in favour for persuing his true passions. Currently works at the Goldenrod Radio Tower where he co-hosts a program consisting of interviewing gym leaders, elite four, champions and other prolific battlers. At nights, does standup in the clubs in the Goldenrod Tunnel. Due to his easy-going nature and career, tends to knows everyone’s buisness + gossip and has crazy experiences with nearly any person imaginable.

♡ Currently lives in a small loft in Goldenrod. Spends his free time watching anime + cartoons or in the National Park either watching the Bug Contests, skating or talking to the old folks. Enjoys the nightlife of Goldenrod where he usually pulls Silver out to bar hop or spend hours playing Voltorb Flip.

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kris + 25

♡ Oldest and mother figure of the group. Was born and grew up in New Bark town with her mother before her cousin Lyra + aunt moved in with them when she was 11. The two shared the large upstairs bedroom growing up where Kris introduced Lyra to contests and the annual Champion & Wallace cups.

♡ Mature, soft spoken and extremely intellegent - both academically and socially. Because of this, can offer solutions on any issue on both a practical and emotional level, no matter the person and situation. Has unique relationships with all three kids but in general sees them as her younger siblings and takes the role as the 'older sister' very seriously. Has a warm and comforting presence, making those even to the likes of Silver feel comfortable confinding in her.

♡ Quite reserved and struggled with her purpose and sexuality growing up, espcially in rural Johto. After the death of her uncle and seeing her daughter’s interests in the Wallace Cups and contests, her mother moved the two to the Hoenn region, settling in Lilycove City when Kris was 13. While starting her gym challenge in the new region, Kris fell in love with Hoenn's unique weather patterns and ecosystems. Eventually she quit the gym challenge to peruse a career as a meteorologist where she now works at the weather institute. When not working, she enjoys attending contests, museums and scuba diving. Finally feeling settled in life, she came out to her family + the trio when she was 20.

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[heretherebedork]

Almost a week and Fang's quiet 'I miss you' to Tan while he pushes Phum and Peem to meet their parents, the quiet way he stays by himself in the family meeting and smiles at the peaceful moments but never brings his boyfriend there, never introduces Tan, just goes home to him instead... it's so sweet. It's everything to me. Fang has his safe space. Fang has a home that lets him be himself. There's pain to see him there alone when he's been dating Tan longer than Phum has been dating Peem but there's also a joy in the comfort he gets from loving Tan, from knowing that he goes home to Tan, to choosing not to bring Tan when he has to wear a mask because Tan is where he goes to take that mask off.

[cloveroctobers]

HOLD UP — Roman Reigns x black! Reader

A/N: not me attempting to write for this man and I’m supposed to be on a writing break?? I had a storyline in my head, heard this song from my girl (finally), and I’m about to go on a SWAT binge-watch once this season is over so that’s my excuse for all of this. Hope you have your popcorn ready!

WARNINGS: language, famous reader, slight cross-over with another show hence the tags, hint of toxicity, infidelity, crime, + me not knowing much about wrestling or S.W.A.T. but winging it! It’s only fiction!!! 😉

₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊

“You know what? Fuck her and fuck you too!” You yelled, smacking the food that was already prepared right towards where Roman stood.

It didn’t have to be like this.

What could have been a great normal Saturday evening, turned for the worse all because a man, who was supposed to be your man turned around and played you. How? By sleeping with the “friend,” (turned assistant) he told you not to worry about. You were just getting into a pretty solid choreo to Beyonce’s, “Tyrant,” over a steaming pot with the headphones blasting into your ears when your phone started going off more than your version of usual.

It was to the point you were ready to put it on Do Not Disturb but your gut told you to get into it. Sure it could have been anybody: your family, your manager, publicist, or even some friends…in this case? It happened to be the whole damn universe.

The headlines is what really got you:

“Entrepreneur Tribal Chief Roman Reigns Sex-Tape Leaked!”

Along with the shady subtitles underneath: The multi-business owner’s intimate moments at what seems to be one of his places of business the casino half hotel: “The Medallion,” have been leaked! By the looks of it, it doesn’t appear that the woman in the video shares any resemblance to girlfriend and actress…but does look a whole lot like his personal assistant Celosia “Losi,” Darlington. Perhaps they aren’t as secure in their relationship as actress…claims! See below for the steamy video.

At first you didn’t want to believe it, firmly wanting for your girl delulu to kick in but unfortunately you knew this time you could believe the headlines. The declined calls you had to keep hitting as you took a breath to just play the video. You had to see with your own eyes what had been done, it’s always about actions more than word of mouth and Roman showed you exactly who he was.

A no good piece of shit.

You met him back in ‘13 after taking on an action role, which would be filmed at the newly built casino: The Medallion. That same place of business that always got him into some shit—yet he always knew how to polish everything up so nicely regardless of any heat that went his way. Of course there was some attraction that formed over the six months of filming although he didn’t have a major role on screen versus behind it, his presence was surely felt. It took two years after that at the premiere of another film of yours for any relationship besides professional to form and sometimes you wished you would have stayed away.

This was one of those times.

To be in a relationship since mid 2015–minus the minor breakups just for it all to truly crumble now was the biggest punch in the face. And you may not be one of his Bloodline fighters but you were sure about to hand him one.

When he enters the house, not long after you’ve been going into a deep dive of everything from watching the video to various gossip websites and landing on Twitter of all places, you place the phone down face up as you rest your hands on the island counter. He pecks your cheek multiple times as he holds your hip, not picking up on the tension just yet before he takes a place on the other side of the island. Your jaw was set as you used the sleeve to wipe his kisses from your skin, eyes burning flames at the clueless man across from you.

“Smells good as hell in here. How was your day?” Is the first thing he says, finally looking up from his phone.

And you can’t help but to scoff at this, “it was going well baby, until I found out that you and your dick went swimming at The Medallion.”

Which lead to a heated stare from Roman, “…What’re you talking about?”

“Stop being stupid, Joe! Unless you can’t help it. Everybody knows including me! Y’all played in my face for who knows how long and you thought coming in here all regular was gonna be cool?” The pointer and thumb finger were jabbed right in his direction as you spoke before you were gripping the island so tight, it should have snapped but only quality was allowed in this house.

Roman kept his face straight as he clips, “I think you should start with watching your tone and talk to me with some sense.”

“Why? When you don’t have any?” Your head was tilted to the side, just begging for him not to continue to get smart with you because things will start to fly in a minute if he kept it up.

His big ass included.

Roman clenched his eyes shut in frustration before replying, “i honestly don’t know what you’re talking about, so please feel free to enlighten me.”

Humorless laughter bubbled past your lips as you decided to play this game just for a bit, “honestly, when’s the last time you saw Losi?”

His shoulders lifts, “a day or two ago. She’s taking personal time off, why?”

“Sure she is! Right on time for everything to unfold like the messy bitch that I told you she is.” You exclaim with your hands up in the air, “was this y’all plan all along? To humiliate me?”

As the silence filled the kitchen, it was shortly interrupted by the vibrating of your phone which rattled on the counter and finally the pinging from Roman’s own phone. A quick glance Roman sends to the device, it was a simple text from Losi herself which read: “I’m so sorry ro!”

He’s truthfully had a blind eye to what has been happening. Roman’s been back and forth between the casino and the ring along with a few meetings in between that he barely looked at his phone until he walked through his home’s front doors. There’s a furrow of his brows then at Losi’s text but it doesn’t take him long to figure it out when he thinks back to the accusations that you previously just thrown in his face combined with your attitude.

Your head was still tilted as you cooed with petty intent, “Uh oh…doesn’t look like there’s a smile on your face now when reading anything Losi says.”

Roman runs his hands down his face in exhaustion and guilt. When he opens his eyes, yours are still glaring at him. This conversation was going to be bad tonight whether he wanted to have it or not. He made this bed so now he had to lay in it.

“Babe—

“Na uh! Don’t start that shit now because you’ve been caught.” You held your hand up in the air, “Weren’t you the one who told me that you didn’t want to fuck her? Then you went and did it! When?!”

Roman runs his tongue over his bottom lip and bites down on it, “I don’t even—a few weeks ago? It didn’t mean shit though and I want you to know that. I don’t and won’t ever love her the way that I love you. I fucked up and i can admit that.”

If this was love then this man can keep that shit forever. Never did you ever think at this point in your relationship that the downfall would be Roman’s attention turning to another woman for a night.

“You can? Were you ever going to if this didn’t come out? You’ve been sitting on this for weeks and she’s been smiling in my face and more chatty—ohhh.” You knocked your finger into the air in realization, “she’s been plotting on this moment.”

Roman blinks with a shake of his head, “what? No.”

“You let the balloon stuffed booty fool you, baby.” You clapped, “along with the cute shy office siren thing she had going on the outside. I been knew she was feeling you and I couldn’t be mad at that! I knew what I had. As long as she didn’t try anything but it only took a year for you to fold right when everything was falling into place.”

He had another personal assistant who’s been working for him since The medallion began to stay consistent in flourishing, Ms. Charlene, who was older in her mid-fifties and actually good friends with your aunt. She was probably the best one Roman was ever going to get but she decided to retire early? And moved all the way out to Liberia but still did her original role as a tax preparer on the side but you didn’t hear that from me—your narrator.

“What do you mean?”

“Think about it, joe. The gym just had its successful grand opening after its bombing a month ago, you just announced that you were expanding the medallion to be worldwide with plans of doing the same for Bloodline. I’m hosting the Tony awards, you’re planning to propose, and Losi is trying to start her own business by creating some plant spa, which gives her just enough motive to leak the tape so she’s financially taken care of while we’re here looking dumb as fuck.” You deeply exhale while Roman pressed his tongue into his cheek in thought.

He didn’t want to believe that either but one thing about you? Your mind was always going and connecting the dots. He knew that there was something about Losi that you didn’t rock with and he didn’t see. When it came to his businesses he wanted to be the only one running things and sure he never wanted to make you uncomfortable yet he and Losi went way back and her resume was top notch. Overall Roman believed that the two of you could just coexist at some point, although Losi put in more effort to be friendly with you, you weren’t feeling it.

Ultimately you had to agree to disagree on the subject. It wasn’t a big problem until it unfortunately became one of course. He didn’t have the ring and it’s been in the works since last year but he knew what he wanted it to look like based on your preferences and kept the sketch secured and out of sight…so he thought.

He knew he wanted forever with you but he allowed himself to get stupefied by someone he thought was a friend and should have stayed in that place.

“Nah Lo’s not like that, she’s a good girl.”

Roman didn’t know if he believed that himself anymore but it still came out of his mouth.

You felt your eye twitch, “you keep telling yourself that and that’s probably what you praised her with when you were hitting it from behind too right?”

“Relax,” his stare is hard from underneath his eyelashes, as if he’s attempting to command you in doing so, “I didn’t know she was filming us, Alright?”

That much you could tell.

“Yeah okay, so that makes it better?!”

“No it doesn’t! And I’m aware of that. I want to marry you which you somehow know—

“Then why do this to me? To us?! We were doing so well and came so far just for you to ruin it all like this was for nothing.” You tried to focus on your breathing but from Roman’s stance he could see that it was more of a panting from you, to keep from crying.

The last thing you wanted was for him to comfort you but he did find himself reaching his hand out some over the island, just in case. He hated that this was happening, that he was causing you pain and not the fact that this was biting him in the ass, he knew what he had done and had to pay the price, he could take that but he didn’t like the twist in his chest at the sight of your anger, your pain, yet he didn’t really have a reason to justify this. There was no justifying the infidelity or the past gaslighting of your concerns you expressed once Losi came along. You had dreams and took that as a sign just as much of what you witnessed in person. Roman would always reassure that it was just your mind lying to you and being paranoid until he proved everything to be true.

“It’s not for nothing…we’ve been through so much shit together that we can get through this too.” Roman states with determination in his eyes, “I don’t know what exactly you want to hear from me but I’m telling you that choice I made that night meant nothing. It happened once, I was on one that night, should have known better than to let my guard down and I told her we won’t ever do that shit again because I’m in love with you. I need you.”

It was your turn to bite down on your lips and nod your head, “that sounds nice, really but there’s no way you expect me to just leap back into your arms just because you’re looking at me that and all the sweet nothings you hand over will magically make this okay when it most likely won’t be.”

He swallows, “What are you saying?”

“Look around! You can’t have that much trust in her to believe this wasn’t calculated can you? I mean you trusted her enough to not let your hot steamy night get out but look where that got you. A tape! You had that girl in my face, in this house, trying to get us to be besties long before and this is what y’all go and do? The disrespect is so real so…you know what? Fuck her and fuck you too!”

Roman dips in his head in understanding, even if he has to make a jump back from the plates of sides that are sent his way but that doesn’t mean he has to take it. “I get that you’re in your feelings but I’m telling you right now, I’m not gonna take any more of you talking crazy to me tonight. It’s been a long day.”

“Excuse me?!” Your brows are raised, “I’ll call you every name until the sun comes back if it makes me feel better—

“But that’s the thing, it won’t so why waste your breath?” His chin is raised in such arrogance.

It’s your turn to be wide eyed now. Did Roman expect you to just not react like he was good at doing? You studied him then, noticing how stoic he was but his eyes said different before he tightened his stare. He was letting his ego come out to play and that was a dangerous game.

“Hmm let’s see what will? Should I dump this gumbo right in your face? Mess your precious house up? Or get in touch with Jey to see if he has any insight to how quickly the success of Bloodline got back up and running. He’s been quiet since the grand opening and that’s not like our boy.” The smirk on your face was enough to get Roman to charge over to you and get in your face.

Jey was family, always would be no matter how ugly the business got. First it was his twin, Jimmy who Roman kicked out and you knew Jey was feeling not only a way about that but also Roman’s big headed authority. It was only a matter of time before Jey stepped down and you knew it was coming based on conversations you had. Roman also had a feeling that you knew more than what you were saying and withholding information was a huge negative, although you weren’t part of the business you would be if you took that title of being Roman’s wife.

You stared up at Roman sweetly while he pressed his forehead harshly into yours, “you don’t scare me and you don’t want to ever cross me, love of my life or not.”

Running your hands up Roman’s clenched torso and up over his biceps to grip his shoulders tightly you say, “well…this old love of your life, is about to show you just how much you’re gonna lose and I know how much you hate to lose.”

He squeezes your neck pulling you so that you’re nose to nose, “if that’s how you want to play, then you better not miss.”

“Great talk, baby. Now let go.” Her nails dig into his shoulder blades while it’s Roman’s turn to tighten his jaw.

Eventually he lets go, running a palm over his mouth as you get back to breathing although your insides want to ache but you numb it down. You crack your knuckles before reaching forward to wipe the crumbs off the counter into the sink and turn to leave but not without glancing at the contents on the floor.

“Hey, I think I would have loved being your wife but the world is always turning right? Better luck next time I guess.” You shrug your shoulders, “and you might want to clean that up before you get some ants that look like Losi. See you soon, Joe.” You explain with a cold wink that reminds the man to breathe after you leave the home for good.

Roman didn’t know what he was going to do just yet or what you had in mind but for right now, he had to sit on his loneliness over a meal that you prepared which he didn’t get to share with you at the end of the table this time around.

[2 weeks later…]

The saying April showers brings May flowers could apply here, depending on how you looked at it. It was difficult being back in your own space, once sharing it with the Cane Corso, “Atonga,” that Roman gifted to you last year for your birthday and what you sent back days after you left his house. You were ready to send everything back (or donate) but Roman wasnt having that, anything that got sent back to his place or his businesses he redirected most to your parents with the power for it not to be sent anywhere else.

As for Atonga, he was waiting for you on your doorstep one morning with a simple message attached: he’s closer to his mom.

The gift of Atonga was for protection and you built a strong bond with the dog, overall you’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss the boy so you didn’t put up much of a fight when it came to him. As for the outside noise? The paparazzi followed your every move even more so now, you didn’t keep your head down but you kept it on mute with every outing. You didn’t need the advice of your publicist on what to do because regardless you had your own media training due to previous work and would ultimately do what you felt.

You didn’t have to offer the world a damn thing.

Your relationship with Roman was one of the most trendiest relationships to talk about and it was killing them not to know much more of what was going on. However Roman gave some crumbs on the recent interview he was on and spoke some with the paps that followed him around but it was enough for people to speculate you have broken up again.

A relationship that had so many sides to it was stuck on being face up at this time.

Over these two weeks you weren’t cooped up in the house crying over this mess, you got to deep cleaning, self-care appointments: nails done, hair done, everything did, spent time in the gym mostly with a personal trainer that Roman never cared for but he mercilessly stopped responding to your meeting requests after the second day, which left you to train with the twins and Naomi instead, and being in the club with the widest of smiles.

After all that you were slowly getting back into work. Thankfully your manager agreed to put a pause on the work load until you were ready, where you got the outline on paper on how award shows were meant to run, then you would make the trip in a few weeks to see how the stage was in person.

“YO,” Jey calls out your name from downstairs, his voice echoing all throughout the house that you forgot he was even still here. Probably eating up all your food while watching ghetto ass Tubi or BMF—they were the same thing honestly.

Getting so wrapped up in the outline, you push yourself off your bed and head out into the hall and call back, “what I tell you about using your outside voice in my house, jey?!”

The barking that sounded as you got to the steps made you frown, actually making you put more speed in your steps as you went down them. When you peered up on the second to the last step, you spotted a familiar face standing at the front entrance of your home while Jey stood off to the side holding Atonga back.

There stood Miguel Alfaro, a ex-boyfriend of yours who sported his dark SWAT attire.

“You got company,” Jey muttered as he eyed the pale buzzed hair guy.

Deeply exhaling you step down and make your way over to the men and fold your arms, “Miguel, what’re you doing here?”

“Can’t be anything good,” Jey adds while he continues holding Atonga by his collar.

Miguel blinks at him and then the dog, “Mind if you put him away so I can have a civil conversation?”

Jey sucked air between his teeth with a grin, “oh this little guy? He’s a sweetheart.”

Miguel raises his brows in disbelief, one hand that was resting on his waist moved to where his firearm was, which the two of you noticed. Jey met your eyes and with a nod of your head, he quickly pulls the dog away to one of the guest rooms for a moment before making his way back.

“You don’t look that happy to see me,” Miguel attempts to joke with a raise of his hands, “that kinda hurts my feelings.”

Lifting your shoulders you reply, “I can’t say the expression on my face would be any different if you didn’t have that monkey suit on but—

Jey snorts out a laugh, which he clears his throat afterwards once Miguel sends him a sharp look before Miguel turns his attention back to you.

Miguel shortly exhaled through his nostrils, “Right, this suit is actually doing you a favor so I’d be a little more thankful.”

“Whatchu mean by that?” Jey clasps his own hands in front of him, defense mode was activated now.

You exhale, “Miguel, I don’t have time for this push and pull shit you commonly like to do, so just spit it out so you can get out my house.”

“I see your attitude still hasn’t changed. I thought we squashed our beef and it was all love?” Miguel’s mockery was still there and highly irritating.

Tilting your head to the side you cackle, “was that before or after you trashed my character to the tabloids over a little relationship when we were what? Eighteen?”

Miguel frowns, “I wouldn’t call my first serious relationship of three years to be little. Which is why I said what I said, if things don’t benefit you then you couldn’t care less. Maybe that’s why Roman did what he did and you didn’t give enough.”

“You don’t know me you spineless bitch!” And you stepped to him but an arm goes right across your torso from Jey before he shields you completely from Miguel.

Jey shakes his head while Miguel breathed out a laugh as he pinches at his straight nose, “I think you should stop instigatin’ and just say what you need to say, bro.”

“That’s officer to you, bro.” Miguel clarifies with a sharp stare but Jey just mockingly nods his head back and forth.

“My fault, officer pig.”

You grip Jey’s wrist and move to stand beside him, meeting his eyes to show him that this was mainly your problem not his.

Miguel ran his tongue over his teeth in annoyance but to your surprise he takes the higher road, “you’re right, I apologize.” He starts but directs that apology mostly at you, “I didn’t come here to start shit, I truthfully came to tell you something that’ll benefit—that’ll be useful to you.”

Clapping your hands together you rolled your hands about, awaiting for him to just say what needed to be said since he first opened his mouth to you.

“It’s Roman.”

Both you and Jey felt your blood run cold at this.

Miguel flicks his eyes from the both of you as he says his next words, “He’s been out in Florida this past week and recently made a purchase on a building to potentially expand either The Medallion or Bloodline. Miami’s team been watching him since he’s touched down in their city but a major red flag went off after recent events.”

Both you and Jey shoot confused glances at each other.

“Don’t tell me you two aren’t aware that Celosia Darlington was found dead yesterday night off route 41?” He deeply scans their faces for any changes in their expressions, “It appears that she was in a hit and run accident, she was thrown from behind off her motorcycle and it’s being investigated by my team.”

Jey has his eyes in slits, “and you think Roman had something to do with it? You just said he was in Florida when this happened.”

“Correct, yet a vehicle registered to him was found on surveillance…which leaves us to believe that he knows what happened and who was driving his vehicle.” His eyes lingers on you for some time before carrying on, “Also the building he purchased in Miami belonged to Celosia’s step-brother, who has been missing since March.”

Massaging the space in between your brows you couldn’t believe what you were hearing. “What does Celosia’s step-brother have to do with Roman?”

“Roman loaned Celosia’s step-brother the funds to purchase that exact building back in January and her step-brother has a history of money-laundering.”

“Fuck.” Jey hisses.

This was bad, real bad.

Roman wouldn’t just loan a large amount of money without purpose, especially to someone he couldn’t trust. If he did this for Celosia’s step-brother, there had to be a reason and if he was missing? Then things really were turning to shit and it’s possible that Roman had something to do with it. However you and Jey both would never reveal that.

Miguel continues, “He’s been arrested and flown in to us. And I’m here to let you know that you’re also being suspected. The team will be here in the next fifteen so…that’s just a tip from me to you.”

“Why are you looking out for me?” You suddenly ask.

“Because believe it or not, I really loved you once upon a time,” Miguel disclosed with a soft sigh, “I want you to win and don’t want to see you get hurt any further. Especially if it’s at the cost of a grown ass business man who goes by: The tribal chief.”

“Aye, watch yourself. You’re not part of what we got going on, so you wouldn’t get it.” Jey warns while Miguel raises a hand in surrender, although he wants to laugh in the bronzed skinned man’s face, thrilled he could return the favor of striking a nerve.

Miguel looks at you one last time affirming, “fifteen minutes.”

“Fifteen minutes.” You dip your head, “Thanks, Miguel.”

“Ah, don’t mention it.” He winks, “but also don’t forget it.”

Which makes you roll your eyes although a small smile appears on your lips which Miguel mirrors with a crooked one. Jey breaks that up real quick, waving the swat member towards the door, followed by a forceful close of the door after Miguel takes his sweet time whistling along and eyeing the downstairs of the home.

Jey blows out a breath, “I see your type is assholes.”

“Jey, now is not the time.”

“I know sis.” Jey grips the back of his neck feeling some stress coming on, “I think I need to slide, hit up Jimmy, Sikoa and check on bloodlines where the rest of the family is most likely at.”

“Yeah you shouldn’t be here when they get here but please be careful…they’ll probably be on all of our asses now.”

Jey nods and steps forward to grip the side of your neck and place a kiss to your forehead while you hold your hand on top of his. “Can I take Atonga with me?”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you’re trying to steal my dog.”

“What can I say? Everybody loves uncle Jey!” He pops his collar with a grin while you fan your hand at him as a signal for him to do so.

Fifteen minutes gives you enough time to set a timer, change from lounge clothes to another set, have a cup of raspberry lemonade, and have your bag near by ready to go once that knock came at your door. You kept offline because you’re sure anything you did up to the time swat came to your door, would be monitored.

You kept calm as those fifteen minutes came around quickly and took your time getting to the door once the harsh knocks sounded. Turning the tv down, you take some seconds before getting to your feet, remote still in hand as you head to the front door, eyes fixated on the tv as you pull the door open.

Turning to the familiar three faces you meet each of their eyes in faux surprise, “Hondo, Deacon, Tan? I’d say it’s good to see you but I’m sensing this isn’t a friendly visit.”

Hondo dips his head to confirm that as he says your name, “hey…we’re gonna need you to come with us.”

You blink, “okay…and it takes three of you to do that?”

“It’s a special situation,” Deacon tells, “involving your boyfriend—ex-boyfriend? Roman Reigns and his personal assistant Celosia Darlington who was murdered last night.”

They all watch your face at this news.

Sucking in your cheeks you answer, “Well…I guess you’re right then, it is a special situation.”

Tan and Deacon share a glance at your words.

“Target the people that had the most interactions with the deceased.” You nod.

Hondo tries to ease how this appears to make it sound better but he knows you’re smarter than to believe his attempt to smooth over the truth of your words.

Tan is the one to speak next, “You know it’s nothing personal and how this goes.”

You give a tight lipped smile, “right so…which one of you is going to watch me grab my bag or…do one of you want to grab it for me?”

How did you have ties to SWAT? Your father was part of a team out in Long Beach back where you grew up and did some work with the twenty division in his remaining years before a serious injury left him paralyzed ending his career. You ended up following in his footsteps at twenty-one, working for the LAPD and working your way into the S.W.A.T. field before you gave that up to…you guessed it! be a full-time actress once you caught your big break.

And sure they still liked to give you shit for “abandoning,” them but it was evident that’s not where your heart laid, although you proved how big of an asset you were for the short time you were part of S.W.A.T..

“You’re not being charged with anything so that’s not necessary.” Hondo states with a hand for you do so.

Tan mutters, “Yet.”

Which earns him a warning glance from Hondo while Deacon does in fact, keep his eyes on you. You’re turning off the tv, reaching for your bag, then heading back to the front door, and hold up a finger to step back and grab your keys off the side table by the door. They give you time to lock up your home before you follow them to the charger.

You’re quiet on the ride to headquarters and the men aren’t sure what to make of that but they decide to not press you on the ride.

There would be enough of that once you’re in the questioning room.

Holding onto the strap of your bag, your eyes are looking all around the building seeing how much has changed and what hasn’t. There’s mostly new faces that already made up their minds as they eye you on your way by.

Guilty.

When you see Roman in passing, in handcuffs being lead in the opposite direction by the commander, it feels like many films you shot before with this moment being in slow motion. Roman can’t take his eyes off you and you see just how everything was taking a toll on him. He may appear collected to everyone else but you saw the stress underneath his eyes, along with the longing for you in them and how his hair was left hanging instead of neatly slicked back into a bun.

You don’t owe him any comfort but you’re not sure if you want to see him suffer either. When you love someone, that means you open up your heart but what happens when you open it up too far and that person leaves it badly bruised?

Start looking out for yourself and hold your own, that’s what.

Shifting your head, you carry on as Roman is almost breaking his neck watching you leave from his sight yet again. He was waiting on his lawyer and had nothing else to say, which meant he was being sent right back to the holding cell while it was your turn to speak your peace.

“Colombian?” You quiz Tan who slides a mug your way with a plastic cup full of ice on the side.

Tan is half sarcastic and half joking, “only the best for our superstar.”

You snicker, knowing just how to get underneath his skin for simply existing before he leaves you alone with Hondo.

“Given the circumstances, you can already guess why you’re here.” He starts as he watches you carefully plunk the ice cubes into the mug before using your pinky finger to spin the contents together.

You sip at the homemade iced coffee, “Losi’s been murdered and the sex tape she made with my—Roman was leaked. Did anyone find out if she was behind it?”

“We can confirm that she was and was supposed to receive $25,000 for it but only received $10,000.” Hondo responds with his hands clasped on top of a folder.

You snort, “tough titties.”

“How so?”

“It’s evident that she was money hungry.” You notify, “I don’t get involved in Roman’s businesses but I know he had to be giving her a good amount since he didn’t have a separate assistant—that I know of—to take care of the gym business. Bloodline has much more value to him than the casino.”

“Right…because he comes from a family full of fighters except for his mother.”

“Yup.” You answer and add more sugar, stir, wipe your finger clean on a near by napkin and take another sip.

Hondo opens the folder and spins it to face you before spreading the crime scene photos along, “Was the money the last straw for you? Enough to make you so angry to chase Celosia down the freeway, run her down, get out the car, and finish her off with specific shots to the body: one to the Radial Artery as she pleaded for her life, one to the Aorta, and right to the head to end it all? Did it make you feel any better?”

You swallowed the coffee as you looked away from the photos to meet the bald man in front of you, “It’s real tiring, hearing how everyone dictates how I should feel or questioning how I am feeling because of some shit someone else did. I get by and no I wasn’t expecting to hear how tragically Losi’s life ended, yet I can’t say I’ll shed a tear for a snake.”

“A snake that also asked you for money over the phone after the tape got leaked and you laughed at her.”

You lifted your shoulders not bothered that they knew this information, “what else was I supposed to do? I didn’t owe that girl a damn thing after she slept with my man.”

“Then you killed her.”

You stare up at the ceiling in frustration thinking about how it was once upon a time on the other side, “I’ve played a criminal in a few movies, doesn’t mean I am one in real life.”

Hondo pushes his lips out with a shrug of his shoulders, “Sure but you’re also dating a crime boss.”

You laugh, “Hondo, are you forreal? No. Innocent until proven guilty.”

“You’re still covering for him.” Hondo sighed with disappointment, “we know that both the medallion and bloodline partly stands for some underground organized crime and if we can’t get Roman for the murder of Celosia then he’s going down for the disappearance and presumed murder of her step-brother. Along with drug-trafficking, aggravated assault, and conspiring to commit money laundering. When he goes down, so will everyone else involved with him.”

You nod, “that’s the thing…I’m not involved with him anymore and I don’t have any clue about any of what you just mentioned. I’m also innocent.”

“Bullshit!” Hondo slams his hands down on the table, “you know, I’d hate to see everything you worked so hard for go right in the trash because of someone like him. I thought you let go of Swat to have a different safe life but you’re in just as deep. On the wrong got damned side! Are you sure Roman ever loved you because if he did? You wouldn’t be sitting here.”

Those words had weight especially training underneath Hondo. It stung but one can’t forget, you were also part of this team not too long ago, so you would never show just how much it did.

“Hondo…are you charging me or am I free to go?”

Funny, Roman said the same thing pretty fast with the request to call a lawyer and they had more on him than on you.

“I think you should keep that seat warm a little longer and I’ll be back.” Hondo advises with a stern look before he scrapes his chair back to exit the room.

In the quiet you sit, one hand on the cup of coffee while the other rests on your lap. It’s parallel to Roman who sits in the cell, elbows buried in his knees as his wavy hair curtains his face. He couldn’t believe he was here, how everything was slowly crumbling all because of a screw up, although he’s had many voices tell him before that everything would catch up to him at some point.

He didn’t think he’d see the day, not when he was just getting started. It was just like you said, he wasn’t good at taking any loss and he hasn’t yet. If he had to lose it all then he was damn sure determined to build it back up again with his bare hands if he had to. And every king needed its queen no matter which way she decides to play her own cards.

Roman’s played defense before and his queen wanted to be offense. There became more than one head of the table (secretly) when he met you so perhaps now was the chance for you to make some shots, not all.

Lifting his head, he closes his eyes and cracks his neck before clasping his hands together.

And he waited.

The door behind you opens, revealing heavy footsteps that tap rather than clunk as they make their way around the table. A small smile forms on your lips at the rim of the mug as you swallow, lowering the cup back to the table.

The man in the tan suit chooses to sit on the edge of the table and sends you his award winning smile as he says your name in greeting.

“Rock,” you address the burly man, “what took you so fucking long?”

His body lifts in laughter, “I’m a busy man lady but I always make time for family.”

Which lets you know he’s made a visit to the bloodlines first. You didn’t call him but you knew who did.

“So how can I help?”

“Can you go back and make joe not stick his dick in Losi?”

Rock exhales, “wish I could but you and I both know that was a Roman move not Joe.”

Which you already had time to think over. You had your own stage name and persona you had to put out into the world. Except you didn’t do too much in the public where it’ll reflect badly on who you were behind closed doors.

“I know,” you breathe out reaching over to rest your hand right on top of Rock’s who turns his own to squeeze yours warmly, “doesn’t make it hurt any less though.”

He pats your hand with his other, “we’ll get through this, we always do. Just hold on.”

“Always do, my grip is vice.” You wink while Rock nods his head, getting back to his feet.

“So I’ve heard, and that’s why you’ll always classify as a bloodline and if you ever want a career change—

You snort, “ha! I think I’ll choose early retirement before I change anything else.”

“Hold up, what’re you?! Thirty-one? You’ve got more fight in you than you say, this I see. So c’mon and continue to give ‘em hell so that they’ll never underestimate what the vice is all about.” He rests a free hand on your shoulder, giving it a squeeze before the door is pushed open, revealing Hondo and Deacon.

Rock fixes his suit jacket, “my client and I are finished here.”

“Wait a minute, aren’t you going to stick around for further questions?” Deacon’s eyes are in slits, clearly finding this suspicious.

Rock sends them his beaming smile, “you must have forgotten how well she’s capable of handling herself. You have nothing on her and all of this is just theories. I give you the next thirty to forty-five minutes to release my client and if you’re not done by then, I’ll remove her myself.”

“You have no authority here.” Hondo bites.

Rock’s smile never falters although a brow threatens to arch, “ah, so you haven’t checked my credentials yet…huge error on your part don’t you think? Gentleman.” He bids his farewell and Deacon follows him out with a clenched jaw.

Hondo turns back to you, resting his hands on the cool table as he leans towards you, “the hell are you all playing at?”

Wiggling your fingers in the air you sit back against the chair, “I’m just an actress.”

“Yeah…well we’ll see how good of an actress you really are.” Hondo snaps as he begins pacing before folding his arms, “now start talking, from the point you found out about the tape.”

Rock got a head start away from Deacon, sneaking his way into the holding area which is empty besides the person he’s looking for. He’s whistling now, shades covering his eyes as he strolls through the quiet area. He knows he has to be quick but he also knows that Deacon has lost sight of him. Rock makes his way over to the cell, still whistling as he spins, pressing his elbow against the cell before tossing his arm back with a white slip in Roman’s direction.

“Uce,” is all rock says before he circles back around, still whistling and then exits back out of the area unseen…well that’s until they look at the cameras later.

Roman waits for Rock to leave his sight before he pushes up to his feet, walks to the space where the white paper is resting, covering it with his foot before he shuffles all the way back to the bench. Once seated, he bends an arm down to pick at the edge of paper underneath his shoe and carefully unravels it.

His eyes quickly peers over the words and a smirk appears on his lips.

Offense: 1

S.W.A.T.: 0

Defense: ?

₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ

[sacrosanction]

✶ — lovely thing

[mad-girlslove-song]

[joyfulxgod]

~~~.~📜~.~~~ || Cornifer - Hollow Knight || self request ::)

I actually played Hollow Knight again for this one!! Well, not really played, but I opened to game to record Cornifer ::) It made me really happy to play it again!! Hollow Knight means a lot to me, it's my favourite game ever, and other than my first ever playthrough I've actually never reopened the game haha cause it just felt so special that I couldn't find the right time to replay it. But it was really nice to experience the beginning moments again <3 almost made me cry haha

[treshmind]

Astarion re-learning basic human skills

Another bunch of headcanons 'cause I can

When you finally start living together (doesn’t matter where exactly – Baldur’s Gate, Underdark etc) you realize how much of a mess Astarion is. Not only mentally, but also in some common things.

You might have noticed he’s a messy eater from times he fed on you but it’s just the beginning.

Now that he owns a place he doesn’t get bothered with cleaning up.

Of course, Astarion wouldn’t be Astarion if he wasn’t a little bitchy about it.

“Honey, why is there a blood all over your new shirt?”

“I have plenty!”

Also, you get a job if not to get money (I bet you have A LOT from the adventure) then at least to help people/fulfil your dream/not to die of boredom…

Which leads to you coming home rather tired and hungry.

To a mess Astarion made throughout the day.

His books are everywhere, an unfinished embroidery, even a painting (unfinished attempt to sketch his memory of you in the sunlight, maybe)! He has just got his life back and living anew, trying to find a purpose, a passion, a hobby. Can you blame him?

But you’re exhausted.

Your limbs are buzzing even from a thought of cleaning up and making a dinner.

Astarion doesn’t initially catch that in your behavior, too excited from seeing you after a day apart. Moreover, you’re clearly upset and go upstairs without saying a word.

He rushes after you, scared he did something wrong and you two… talk.

He apologizes (poor baby with wet cat eyes).

…And the next day you come home catching a smell of some burnt food.

He’s trying his best to make you a meal! But fails critically.

You comfort him and show him how to make some basic soup. He writes it down word-to-word.

(I’m gonna tell you a secret – later on he may hypothetically write Gale a letter asking for a cooking advise, but shhh)

Astarion has a lot to re-learn and that’s alright as long as you’re both patient and understanding to each other :)

(hey, drop in the asks, I don't bite)

[writings-of-a-demigod]

“What are you thinking so hard about?” Hondo chuckled a little.

“Oh you know just some facts.” You shrugged.

You were standing in the middle of the hallway just spacing out when Hondo approached you.

“Well come on lay it on me I wanna hear it” he told you smiling.

You two started walking together when you started.

“Did you know that alligators don’t age biologically? They don’t die from old age, they die from starvation or a disease” you informed him.

He stopped walking and thought about it for a minute “I didn’t know that”

You turned to look at him “Yeah I know and now you do” You smiled and kept walking.

___________________________________________________________

“Hey Y/n”

Tan walked in and looked at the screen looking for new info’s about the case they’re working on.

“Oh hey Tan”

You looked up from the iPad in your hands to glance at him then back to the screen.

“Got anything new?”

“Oh yeah did you know that Koalas spend 99% of their life eating and sleeping and the other 1 % they spend searching for a mate, where they wander around aimlessly until they find one. If they don’t find one, eventually they just give up and go back to sleep.”

Tan looked at you blinking with a confused expression on his face, he pointed at the screen.

“I meant about the case”

“Oh that, yeah check this out.”

___________________________________________________________

“I read something interesting lately.” Deacon started.

You were making a sandwich in the kitchen when he walked in and starting have a conversation with you, nothing out of the ordinary just normal break time.

“Me too” you were getting the ingredients ready for your sandwich.

“You tell me first” he gave you a soft smile.

“Okay so listen to this did you know that the smell of gasoline can irritate bees? And it may excite them to sting so imagine what would happen if you put a tube with bees to someone’s open mouth and a little smell of gasoline” you looked at him with evil smirk on your face.

“You truly scare me sometimes you know that?” That’s all he said to you before walking out of there.

*gif not mine*

A/n: I love writing for SWAT so much and I enjoyed this one 😂 as you can tell. I always tell my friends the most terrifying random-ass facts so I thought this would be fun.

[lunarriviera]

#UndertheSkin2, starring Tan Jianci & Jin Shijia [x]

[syrena-del-mar]

An Ode to Older Siblings: New in Dead Friends Forever, Episode 9

Spoilers ahead for Dead Friend Forever Episode 9. Allusions to suicide and all other triggers that have accompanied this show will be here. Tagging @slayerkitty for the DFF Meta compilation.

Can you imagine New, who sacrificed his relationship with his little brother to make it into a university abroad with a scholarship, one that would open opportunities that Thailand did not have to offer him, having to come back on a plane ride? A minimum of 12 hours in a plane, in an airport, packed with people going on business trips and vacations, yet where nobody knows that you're going to back home to a hell that you never could have imagined? It was supposed to be a holiday for him, a chance to see his family again after months of being apart.

But instead, his baby brother was now missing. The same baby brother that had given up on having any semblance of a relationship with him because he felt abandoned, forgotten. His little brother who would find no difference if he was abroad or not, because it's not like Tan had ever paid him any attention when he was so focused on just getting out of their home. But New was trying, extending an olive branch, hoping that Non would accept even the smallest bit of it. He'll bring him the best snacks that England has to offer, he'll listen to any problems that Non may have, even while he's thousands of miles away. But no calls ever came from his little brother's number. No, he hadn't even known that Non had gotten into trouble until his mother called him. Non's missing.

And, now he's returning home. The snacks that he had promised Non probably weighed like a ton of bricks as he carried them, they were his burden to carry. Maybe if he had been there a little more for Non, had been a little bit more present, maybe Non would have reached out. Maybe he wouldn't have had to turn to his tutor. His home is broken, but it's still a home. He's the oldest, he's the one that has to repair it when his parents can't.

He knows his mom had mentioned Non's boyfriend in passing before, even though Non had never told him directly. So he had searched through Non's belongings, looking for his number, hoping that Phee might have more information. He's doesn't, they're both at a loss. Maybe Phee didn't know Non as well as he thought he did, but New knows his brother. Non was never good with his words, never good at speaking directly of the problems he faced, but he would have left a sign, something, that might show them what demons he was facing alone.

So, he pretends that he can go back to his life in England, pretends for his parents' sake, so they don't have to worry about their only other son. But he can't, not when his little brother is out there...alone, again. He takes a leave of absence from school. Maybe it's crazy, reckless, but he puts himself back in high school. If the cops won't give him answers, then he'll get them himself. He forges his records, pretends that he was Non's same age, changes his identity. He's now Tan. A new kid that just happened to meet Phee at the office on their first day of school. Tan can charm his way into the same friend group that likely destroyed his brother. Tan can dig for the answers that nobody was willing to get.

And Phee helps, maybe he helps a little too much and little too close. For a moment, a part of New's heart breaks for his baby brother, as he sees his boyfriend get close to one of the bastards that had a hand in Non's disappearance. Maybe this is why Non always felt abandoned. So New smokes, one pack turns into hundreds more. A bad habit that he picked up with his English friends as they hit the pubs. It's the only sense of normalcy he has anymore.

He builds a makeshift lab with the money his parents wired him, nothing like the state-of-the-art equipment that he had grown accustomed to at his university, but it was enough. He researches, he experiments with the one concoction that might finally get Non's friends to tell him the truth. He's so close to perfecting it. Then his dad calls, and it feels strange. He rarely talked to his dad, it's his mom that usually calls him. Mom's dead. For a moment, he forgets that he was supposed to be in England, that he was never supposed to be in Thailand. He's not Tan anymore, he's just New. His house isn't just broken anymore, it's crumbling.

His father resents him. He's drunk and he's spitting fire, New can't blame him. Afterall, he is a liar. He lied that he was back at university, back in England. He never visited his mom when they were only miles away from each other and now she's dead as well. Was Non right all those years ago? Does he abandon everyone? He was never his dad's favorite, he knew that, but how he could he go and leave him behind too?

Now there was no broken house, no dilapidated house, no place that he called home. He couldn't fix this anymore. And he's tired, he's so tired. There's nothing for him to salvage anymore. Maybe if he takes a hit of his own concoction, he can end his pain as well. But Non... Non deserves justice and New is so scared, scared of failing him again. He wants this to end, he can't save anyone. But Phee arrives and holds him steady, lets him cling tightly to his shirt like he used to cling to his mother as a child.

Maybe he won't live for himself anymore. This all started with the bastards who were supposed to be his brother's friends. They cost him his whole family. No. he wasn't going to give them the satisfaction of destroying his home, of destroying his baby brother. He once told Non that he would steal his novel, get it sold for other people to read. Maybe it can't be sold anymore, but maybe Non's story can finally be told as Non had wished.

How could New have ever known that getting onto that plane would just be the prelude to the hell that he was about to raise? He's the oldest brother of the family, he was supposed to protect them, take his responsibility for his parents and his baby brother, but he failed. His dad was right, he wasn't a good enough son or brother, but maybe this could be the start of his atonement.

[build-a-stim]

muffins (2015) for @lamiin

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