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secondpersonpoetry · 1 month ago

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hi! oh my goodness. i am SO sorry i didn’t say anything earlier. i did read everything a couple days ago, and i Have been chewing on it, rotating it in my mind, etc etc…..and the graphic has been my phone lockscreen since i first read it!!!!!

frankly i am obsessed and have also been a little frazzled this month lol. saw your post late because of the general whirlwind that is december and then couldn’t quite get my thoughts into sufficient words n got worried “oh no would it be weird to say something now…..” which is incredibly silly in retrospect, so sorry for that.

i’m relatively new to hockey fandom and the Narratives don’t always quite click for me (yet, at least :)) because i don’t know all of the lore for a lot of the popular pairings haha, so it means a lot that you’ve taken time out of your day to break things down for me and share your own thoughts <3 tysm. again, super sorry for the delayed response. i’m very sorry if you felt as though you’d wasted your time or something along those lines :’) just wanted to let you know that i really appreciate you and the time it took you to get everything down and make the graphic!!!! and like i can’t overstate how much your tags both over here and on your other blog have helped me to Get It since the start of this season, so thank you.

but now the house is quiet, the in-laws are gone, and no new work stuff until january :) so i can finally get some stuff down. every point you brought up hits in it own way but gosh you are very incredibly right the mcstrome of it all…..that’s sort of the lens i’ve been listening to the song through since you mentioned it.

the golden boy and the “draft bust” and the ever present notion of “isn’t it all about old friends? like everything? all of it?”. like idk looking back on a bestfriendship from when you were a teenager that was Super intense and the lines were blurred and maybe realizing (if you hadn’t had the words or the “guts” or awareness or wtv to put a name to it at that point in your life) that y’all were a smidge more than just friends.

best friends forever until you just aren’t! growing up and growing apart. it’s just the way things go but it can and will ache for a damn long time! you think you’re over it until their birthday or the holidays roll around and you wonder in a distant sort of way who they’re spending it with. what you would’ve hypothetically gotten them as a present if you still spoke. what do they even like nowadays, anyway?

maybe having the friendship end subtly. going from playing and traveling together and living in one another’s pockets to 2,080 miles of distance? (i may have my timeline/details confused here so sorry in advance) texting as much as you can at first but he’s a phenom he’s mcjesus he’s the next in line he’s expected to win the cup with his new team and end the drought for Canada. and they have him now but he was yours first, wasn’t he? but it’s fine. because you’re busy too. you’re captaining the team now. you’re gonna get the memorial cup that he couldn’t. it’s fine. you’re fine. you don’t even have time to worry about it anyway.

one conversation a week turns to one a month turns to once in a blue moon turns to stale words until it goes cold. these days you can’t quite seem to remember who ended things, but does it really matter all that much now?

or maybe it doesn’t end like that at all. maybe it ends in a flurry of angry words and digs in some or other of the endless hotel rooms you’ve shared together over the years. who knows!

and that’s not even getting into the rest of the 2015 draft class. or the ld19 of it all! ooh hoo hoo. you grew up with him but he’s not your waiting room. he grew up with you but he’ll grow “old” (end his career) with someone else. and isn’t that just something!

i don’t think it’s totally them, but sort of the sentiment of “I hope you get everything you ever wanted and I hope I never hear a word about it.” I want one ticket off of your carousel!!!! merry christmas, please don’t call!!!!!!!

dylan being sent up and down and traded around until finally landing in washington, a place where he is clearly at home and LOVED for the guy and player he is!!!!!!!! watching a game and seeing all the strome jerseys in the crowd……..wagh.

all that said. some other songs that are mcstrome to me in various ways: hot & heavy by lucy dacus (lol kinda the whole song). before the world was big by girlpool (“i just miss how it felt standing next to you wearing matching [jerseys? sweaters?] before the world was big”). happiness by Taylor swift (“i guess it’s the price i pay for seven years in heaven”), cut your bangs by radiator hospital (maybe? possibly? unsure. i like the whole dog thing there). i’m so glad i feel this way about you by insignificant other (!!!!!). there are so many THEM lyrics in there……..waough.

anyway. other things off the top of my head: 2015 connor specifically saying something like “hey let’s wait a minute so we can see this” to stand by the stage when dylan was getting drafted after him. MAN. you reminded me of the fact that they couldn’t even make eye contact at the handshake line!!!!!!!!! they didn’t go to each other’s weddings!!!!!!!!!! (do you think once upon a time they ever thought they’d being each other’s best man?). just a couple months ago dylan liking the tweet of connor getting that goal during the playoffs!!!!!!!! makes you wonder if he texted him………..

lol this was all over the place and i was probably wrong on some things and there’s SO much more that someone else could say way more eloquently, but i digress. i dunno everything about them is so nuts to me!!!!! needless to say i will be incredibly sat for the game january 21 🙂‍↕️

thank you again for your time :) hope you have a good one and a happy rest of the holiday season! <3333333

what a lovely message to receive 🥰😭🥹 i had to break it up into chunks because i couldn't sit down to read all of it at once without just. bouncing right back up and shrieking. i am also at heart terribly shy so i understand the struggle but it is never too late to say something <3 you are always welcome here

first!!! i love sharing!! i think most of hockey tumblr loves to see people finding out the Lore for the first time and the wonderful thing about hockey is that. it keeps going on. so there's years and years and generations and generations and always something new to learn about. i've learned to just not be afraid to ask!!! between different teams and players i'm always discovering new narratives (learning about the sharks old man yaoi rn... cbj rarepairs...)

no... to my heart's despair... you have the timeline right. i think in the best most tragic sense there's a mcstrome narrative where it is truly that nothing went wrong. the love was there. we couldn't do enough to save it because we didn't see it slipping away. i didn't notice when you didn't call until you never did. i don't know you now but i still remember when i did, do you?

HE'S NOT YOUR WAITING ROOM?? passing out. i do see "i hope you get everything you ever wanted and i hope i never hear a word about it" as them because!! they didn't go to each other's weddings!!! i don't wish you harm but i'm not going to put myself through that!! i hope you're happy and i'm never going to look on purpose.

i love dylan strome so much and the best part is that they all love him so much too. he wore a cool vintage ovechkin jacket!! and got slapped in the face with a tortilla!! he loves to gently rag on the rookies!! it just takes some time, everything'll be just fine. you're only on the middle of the ride.

OKAY WHEN I READ THIS PART I SCREAMED BECAUSE I DO HAVE A MCSTROME PLAYLIST AND!!!! HOT & HEAVY BY LUCY DACUS IS IN FACT ON IT!!! SO IS CUT YOUR BANGS (BUT BY GIRLPOOL SO DOUBLE JINX)!!!! i have dorothea by taylor swift on there but i don't know happiness so i'll have to give all the other songs a listen. mostly i just shrieked because i was like NO YOU GOT THE VIBES EXACTLY

🧠〰️🧠 truly the mind meld happening here. the handshake line. the mutual wedding non-invitations. i won't block your number or your name on twitter i just hope i don't see it come up on screen!! i do think that we got confirmation the last time they played each other that dylan did text him to say congrats on a milestone but i would have to check the archives

p.s. i think you said it perfectly eloquently :) what matters is that you said it at all and i was delighted to read it 💕

#liv in the replies #HI HI HI HELLO!!! IT'S SO NICE TO HEAR FROM U i hope u have a lovely quiet end of the year <3 with lots of time to rest & find ur own joy #& YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE SORRY!!!! <33333 ANY MESSAGE IS A GOOD ONE!!! WHEN I TELL YOU I 🥹💕😭☺️🥰🦋💕💗‼️‼️❣️❣️ UPON RECEIVING THIS HEARTS FOR THU #ALSO IMPORTANT😭😭 I DIDN'T MEAN TO GUILT TRIP U I HOPE U DIDN'T TAKE IT THAT WAY i personally just. need to work on reblogging my own stuff #i hate reblogging my own fic announcements even so i was like listen this is for ME because EYE want it here and that's FINE. ok brain???#and also i think i have just accepted the slide that there WILL be hrpf here mostly because i keep tagging it but i always don't want to #plug this blog over on cbpc-hrpf or anything bc do you really need to follow me in multiple places or is that just being greedy you know.#obviously i don't because why else would i be dithering in the tags. anyway tl;dr i consider u beloved & also my friend welcome in the dms #at any time always. i hope everybody knows just yeet yourselves in there i am a Yapper and i love discussing. getting asks is one of my #favorite things :))) & getting messages from people is how u make friends!!! sometimes u tell people u love their work & now u are bffl <3 #we all have like. Quintessential Moments that are secretly niche & the joy of going U DON'T KNOW ABOUT IGUANA WRESTLING??? is unmatched #also do you want to publish that poetry like?? hit after hit after hit. three paragraph six feet under. put it on the ao3 second person pov #dylan strome sitting at his fogged up kitchen window looking at the snow outside in washington the same as it was in erie the way it never #was in arizona and thinking about you know. maybe you know now what it was then. and does it matter? and in the end #he sees his girls run through the yard snowballs in their hands when he's done thinking everything through and he puts on his mittens and #walks out the door to his life. into the cold unknown you know. honorary fuckin' mention to what has secretly been percolating in my head #ever since i said the fogged glass window which is the one that knocks ME the fuck out every time but is so strongly a dylan/zach song to m #dream song by shallow alcove. just wanna press my nose up to the glass of your life. EYE cannot mcstrome w/that but it is incredibly vibes #also just. the queer experience of that Intense Friendship that you’re like WOW uh. maybe i need to think some things now. assigned to Them #HELP SOS what is ld19??? you will have to come explain this to me i fear. oh no you have to send me another message 😈 my brain said leon #but also london knights because mitch marner and the draft class of 2015. also had to laugh like i started singing phoebe bridgers waiting #room then immediately went into the argument of defying gravity 'i hope you're happy' (OBCR) because. i think they wish they could be spite #maybe. but maybe they know they only want them to be happy. also with the handshake... me when i. think about updating the goodnight chicag #cam now that stromer's in washington goodnight chicago goodnight indeed. DO WE EVEN WANT TO TALK ABOUT KITTY?? DEBRINCAT???? ALSO IN ERIE #also me🤝you🤝 caps/oilers game. they're like oh are u sick of the mcstrome teammates broadcast and i say no never thank u with my popcorn.#mcstrome

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sarawritestories · 23 days ago

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I Need a Hug

Rhysand X Fem Reader

Summary: You need a hug and no one better than the The High Lord of the Night Court. Your High Lord.

Content Warning: Misogyny, Beron being a dick, depression, anxiety, negative self talk, choking and not the fun kind. And semi proof read

A/N: Tags will come later today, but this started as a cassian fic, and then it took on a life of its own...so enjoy 😘

Remain calm.

Rhys' voice slid into your thoughts as you and the High Lord of the Night stood in front of Beron, his smile, anything but kind. The High Lord had spent the past hour berating you, calling you vicious names, and worst of all...undermining your authority as Rhys' right-hand woman his second in command.

And your resolve was slipping.

As you took on the role of Second in command as Amren retired to spend her days in the warm comfort of summer, you had been met with scrutiny and push back. You knew your worth, and Rhys trusted your judgment. Your friends were in your corner to support you and the choices you made. But some nights as you lay in your bed, the steady beat of the half illyrian's heart reaching your fae ears beside you was when the voices emerged from the darkness.

Oily, black, and sticky, the voices would bring doubt to your leadership or your best friend's choice to put you in power in the first place. Your confidence began to wane, and the darkness that would lurk in the back of your mind began to consume you, isolate you from ever talking about it.

You were becoming a shell.

Beron's voice brought you back to the Autumn Court's thrown room, but his words enhanced the darkness.

"Are you so incompetent that you can't deign me with a response? To understand a simple inquiry?" Heat rose to your cheeks as your thoughts had drowned his words out. You weren't sure what he asked.

Your eyes flicked to the floor, not wanting to meet his pointed stare with eyes that matched one of your dearest friends once upon a time. A male now stranger to you. He would be so dissapointed to female you had become.

If former heir of Autumn was alive, he would have been.

Focus. He asked you what happened?

His voice made you flinch. A reminder that the mission you and Eris were on failed.

He paid with his life.

You paid with the guilt gnawing at you.

You recounted the details of going to the middle and being ambushed. Steel and carnage swirled in the bog, and a Kelpie approached to drag you to the abyss. To torture you in more vile ways, then the dark corners of your mind wouldn't dare bring to light. You had shut your eyes resigned to your fate, sending a quick prayer to take care of your friends. But his hand did not reach yours. Nor did any attacks come your way. You sat up from the ground and found the earth around you blackened from Eris' flames and the murky water ahead where bubbles rose to the top.

Until they didn't.

Eris Vanserra had died.

And it was your fault.

Cassian and Azriel kept you close, but you had shut yourself off. That didn't stop them from following you in the streets of Velaris from a distance. The weight of your guilt didn't need to fall to them. The darkness relished in your pain. Fueled your doubts in your ability to perform your duties to your court. And yet they still hovered. It felt as suffocating as the darkness rotting your brain and the words of defeat and shame that weighed on your heart as though dark oily tar were there to help into your descent of madness.

Into an abyss.

A hand gripped your neck and you screamed out as the hear from Beron's grasped seared your skin.

"Beron. Enough." Rhys snarled, but High Lord of Autumn tightened his grip, making you whimper. "Beron!" Beron erupted a wall of fire that kept Rhys from reaching to you. To keep you from getting to him.

Your mate.

"You, bitch. A life for a life. It's what's fair." Beron's spittle hit your face. You clawed his arm, desperate for oxygen. The heat on your neck made you want to scream out, but he squeezed so tightly that your ability to speak was taken. Suffering in silence.

It's what you deserve

The voice slipped into your subconscious as your vision began to darken around the edges.

Failure.

Pathetic.

Worthless.

"Let. Her. Go." A female voice boomed through the cavernous room. Beron released you with enough force that you fell to the ground. Gasping for the air, your lungs so desperately as Rhys knelt beside you rubbing your back in soothing circles.

You glanced over to where the voice came from and your heart shattered. Lady of Autumn head to toe in black her vibrant red hair, the one she shared with Eris the only color on her.

A mother in mourning.

A depiction of your shortcomings. She only glanced at Rhys as she spoke again, "Leave us. Please." Her voice was a whisper at the final word, but Rhys was quick to wrap his arms around you and winnow you back to the Town House.

"That went..." Rhys trailed off, not knowing what word to use. You finally were able to breathe normally as your High Lord looked at your neck, his eyes wide. His fingers reached out, but you flinched, and he gently placed his arm to his side. "Madja needs to look after you. The burns look...deep."

You walked to a mirror to see blisters in the form of a handprint around your neck.

It's what you deserve.

The oily voice slithered in your mind. The darkness was close to consuming you. Instead of the sheer panic, you once felt there was something much worse lingering.

Numbness.

Before you were consumed, Talons took hold, causing you to gasp. You didn't mean to leave your shields down. Your eyes widened as Rhys gazed behind you, his own eyes filled with a mixture of things. You realized he didn't sneak in. Your thoughts had projected out. To him. As if your subconscious knew you needed him.

"How long have you been feeling this way?"

"Does it matter?" You were about to leave when he gripped your wrist.

"It does to me." Rhys gripped your hand in his, and he pressed his lips to your knuckles, "Thought for a thought?" You nodded, remaining silent, your lips forming a tight line, not wanting to go first. Rhys gave a faint smile, "I've missed you."

You rolled your eyes. "I barely leave, Rhys. Unless I have to, I'm always here in Velaris."

Rhys' violet eyes sharpened as he slid his free hand in his pocket. "You think I can't tell when my wife has withdrawn from me?" Your breath quickened as he dropped your hand, and you took a step back. You didn't realize you had withdrawn yourself so fully. You thought you had put on a good show. Rhysand took a step forward, "Did you not think I would notice when my sweet, beautiful mate locked her mind so tightly from me? Or how she didn't eat or sleep?"

"Why didn't you do anything?" You whispered ans you watched the stars bank from his eyes.

"Who do you think made sure there was food on the nightstand? To make sure Cassian ran, you ragged that you would fall asleep." Your mind raced as you're back pressed to the wall. "I did what I could, My Darling Girl." He pressed his forehead to yours, "Why did you shut me out?"

Your eyes lined with silver, "It wasn't your burden to bare." Rhysand blinked at your answer. "My shortcomings are my own-

"No."

"No?" Your voice was laced with...irritation.

Rhys smirked, "You don't get to make the choice for me about what I want to deal with. That isn't how this works." His finger curled under my chin. "Your burdens are mine. The only darkness that should be consuming you is mine." His eyes held an intensity to them that caused a shiver to ripple down your spine. "You are mine. I will fight all of your demons." He pressed his forehead to yours, "You have to let me in, Darling."

Warmth slid down your cheeks as tears erupted, "I don't know how."

Rhys kissed your head the warmth of his lips on your skin, causing a warmth to bloom in your chest, chipping away some of the darkness there. "How about we start small?" He pulled away to see your face and the small nod you gave him, "What do you need right now?"

You gnawed at your bottom lip, "It's dumb"

Rhys quirked a brow, "Anything that brings you peace, darling, is not dumb."

"A hug." You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, "I need a hug."

Arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer to the familiar jasmine and ocean scent that kept you grounded. A hand around your waist and one stroking your hair that instantly brought you comfort. Emotions moved toward the surface, and before you knew it, your dam of computer crumpled, and sobs escaped your throat. With every sob and soothing word from your mate, the darkness was curling back. A light consuming your body shielding you from the darkness.

Starlight.

Rhys had always been the light in your life, fighting the demons that so often plagued you. Over 500 years of friendship and love, this male, this high lord, your high lord was unwavering and would be the beacon of light that brought you back from the dark. Back to him. Back to his arms.

Home.

When he spoke it was in your mind:

Do not feel like you have to shoulder your burdens alone? Me, Cassian, Azriel, Mor. Cauldron, go visit Amren in summer where light will seep into your pores, I don't care who, but if you feel the darkness consuming you, don't shut us out. We love you. I love you. My world means nothing without you in it.

You sobbed harder. I'm sorry, Rhys.

You have nothing to apologize for, Darling.

You pulled away enough to see his face, and he raised his hands to swipe the tears from your eyes. Before tenderly placing his lips on yours. Rhys' light banishing the darkness and lifting the weight that was burdening my heart with the action.

He pulled away, "Are you well enough to go to the Cabin?"

You nodded your head and Rhys his darkness, a comfort to you, consumed you both until you were outside the doors of the cabin. Rhys knocked thrice and waited, pulling you closer to keep you warm.

Cassian opened the door, "Was starting to get worried." He glanced to you, his hazel eyes softening, only flaring slightly at the sight of your neck, "Hey you. You okay?"

You nodded and curled your finger, indicating you wanted him closer. He leaned down to your eye level wings tucked tight as you kissed his cheek, "Thanks for being my shadow."

"He wasn't your only one," a voice hollered behind him."

Cassian smiled and winked at you, "Anytime, sweetheart." He moved from the doorway where you and your mate walked in. To find Azriel and a red-haired male curled on the couch. Azriel's gaze met yours with a smirk, "Did it work?"

Rhys smiled as Azriel stood to hug you, flaring his wings for a moment. "Yes."

You heard the couch move and Az released you. Moving to reveal who he was nuzzling with on the couch and you gasped.

Eris Vanserra. Alive and well. "Good, my plan works best if everyone thinks I'm dead." His russet eyes met yours and he gave you a sad tentative smile, "I'm sorry I-

You didn't let him finished before wrapping your arms around his neck, Tears once more falling down your cheeks, "You're not dead."

He wrapped his arms around you, "Not yet."

"I didn't kill you." You whispered

Eris pushed you away to face you, "Oh, sunshine. If I had perished, it was never your fault." His eyes glanced to Azriel, "I'm just lucky someone was lurking around the middle."

Azriel winked at him, and you noticed pink on Eris' cheeks. But turned back to me, "I'm sorry, I frightened you."

You pulled him into an embrace once more, "Don't do it again, you prick."

"Oh, I don't think Rhysand will let me pull that twice. He was about ready to throttle me when Az brought me in."

You looked to your mate, who was leaning against the wall one leg crossed over the other. Flicking a piece of lint of his jacket he shrugged, "Swamp water on my carpet is a nuisance. Making my wife cry is a terrible offense to the Night Court. As is your father laying a hand on her."

Eris then noticed the hand print on your neck, "He will pay greatly, High Lord." He said through gritted teeth.

"Good, Future High Lord." Your eyes widened as you realized what was going on. Eris smirked, releasing you. You noticed a shadow billowing through his fingers.

"So what's next?" You asked as you walked to your mate.

Cassian chimed in a wild grin on his face, "We go to war."

Eris smiled, "We go to war."

Rhysand curled an arm around your waist and kissed the crown of your head. With the wave of his hand, we all held goblets of wine. "To Eris Vanserra, Soon to be High Lord of the Autumn Court."

We all cheered and drank from our cups. I smiled my friends were here alive and happy.

And the darkness was nowhere to be found.

#sarawritesstories #acotar fanfiction #acotar #rhysand x reader #rhys x reader #rhys acotar #rhysand acotar #rhysand #rhysand fanfic #rhysand angst

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