#talkie the toaster

[spotforme]

let me share a few ships i think about in the delirious hours of the night

Paranoia and Stabbim (just a skutter acting out orders to kill when it descovers that maybe he's the only one who can get through to the hallucination without making him paranoid, will it reveal it's previous orders and expose it's decietfull job (stabber) and maybe break Paranoia's fragile trust in the process? or do the orders exceed the man (the skutter) and does the ultimate tragic of killing a loved one befall in the hands (claws) of Stabbim when he can't resist orders anymore)

Talkie the Toaster and support force (unrequited love, Talkie ne'er has time to ponder the importance of support force in his life, he knows it excists, but toast will always win out. and support force knows that. it's happy to just hold Talkie up and take any breadcrums it gets as long as it can)

Cat deepthroathing those polymorph eggs (it could've worked out if she hadn't died immediately and he wouldn've killed all her children, but life happens i get it)

the overly polite swordsmen and Rimmer's courage and self confidence (they're making out sloppy style, they spotter eachothers hats and swords from across the room and it has been escalating at an alarming speed)

Sir. Francis Walsingham and the "i am a fish" exam paper (he would gladly be the fish. proxcimity to dear people affecting how one behaves and all that)

Carter Burke and Rimmer (they die a horrible death together, the thought of the other there doesn't comfort them because they know both want to leave the other as a sacrifice and run, so they try to make themselves un-abandonable. doesn't work. they suffer horribly with all hope lost)

The Sister Brothers and the Rimmer Monster (it's lesbian/ gay solidarity as they bitch about the world. my favourite)

[miniherodesktales]

Advent 14: Home Alone, Cat - Part 4

'A right couple of nerds lived here,' Logey concluded with disdain. 'It's nothing but cheap tat. Look at this!' He lent into Rimmer's bunk, swiping the vintage Airfix 144 Space Shuttle model from its shelf. 'Worthless!'

He dropped the shuttle onto the floor before stomping hard on it.

From his hiding place the Cat heard the crack and was surprised to find himself wincing at the noise. That model had kept Rimmer quiet for days as he'd worked on it. What would keep him quiet now?

'Ooh, that was harsh!' Talkie the Toaster concluded from his spot next to the Cat.

Cat nearly lost a life. He jammed a hand over Talkie's vent.

'Shhhh!' he hissed. 'What you doing here?'

'Wha wa tha?' Talkie mumbled.

Cat whispered again. 'I said what are you doing here?'

'Sti can hear you.'

'I said,' the Cat said louder than intended, but then dropped his voice again. 'What. Are. You. Doing. Here.?'

'Dave. Put. Me. Here.' Talkie hissed back. 'I. Have. Questions.'

'What?'

'Would. You. Like. Some. Ttttooooaasssst?'

'No!' Cat shouted.

'Someone's here!' Hogey cried. 'There's a hatchway in the floor!'

Laser guns were fired. The Cat scooped up Talkie and charged his way down through the escape tunnel that would take him....actually Cat had no idea where he was going but it had to be better than sticking around with Hogey and Logey.

[andietries]

You guys won’t believe what I saw today

[red-dwarfer]

UHM OLD RD POSTS ARE AWESOME

[ssphiree]

met a bunch of red dwarf people at cons recently & have been collecting their autographs on my hamburger telephone

so far its been signed by doug naylor, hattie hayridge, craig charles, chris barrie, mark williams and danny john jules :D

[smeg-and-the-red]

please enjoy this very hastily made linocut print of everyone's favourite annoying kitchen appliance

[cheriebryantsart]

I realised I didn't upload all my Red Dwarf paintings up to Tumblr and figured I should fix that.

[beej-machinations]

Red Dwarf Text Posts 8/??

[your-fave-is-forklift-certified]

Talkie Toaster aka The Toaster from Red Dwarf is Forklift Certified!

[bandiiey]

Wormmon photos

[blacjaq1]

TOASTER: Anyone like any toast? LISTER: Look, I don't want any toast, and he doesn't want any toast. In fact, no one around here wants any toast. Not now, not ever. NO TOAST. TOASTER: How 'bout a muffin? LISTER: OR muffins! We don't LIKE muffins 'round 'ere! We want no muffins, no toast, no teacakes, no buns, baps, baguettes or bagels, no croissants, no crumpets, no pancakes, no potato cakes and no hot-cross buns and DEFINITELY no smeggin' flapjacks! TOASTER: Aah, so you're a waffle man!

[underwatersugery]

holly and talkie toaster friendship to me is like two elderly men who are VERY angry all the time and HATE eachother but they are also best friends and they play chess together while shouting at one another except one's a computer and the others a toaster friendship is beautiful

[marlinspirkhall]

Literally David Lister

[ID] Screenshot of a tumblr post by EvilPotato512 reads: Imagine the most serious character you know. Now imagine them getting scared by the toaster going off as they walk by. [\ID]

[ID] A GIF from Red Dwarf shows a sentient toaster talking. The captions read Given that god is infinite and the universe is also infinite, would you like a toasted tea cake? [end ID]

[bitchapalooza]

Me: Boy am I glad to be infection free and off those antibiotics! I can't wait to fully enjoy my favorite drinks again—in moderation of course. Gotta keep it up with the water!

Mouth: Lmao what if I—

Mouth: *either gives me a dental abscess or a bad burn blister*

Me: Oh....

[smeg-and-the-red]

Next week in my bullet journal ft. everyone's favourite chirpy breakfast companion!