#talked about making this last year with zoe

[lovefortayley]

"Somewhere lost in the colored annals of history lies a place that few have seen. A mysterious place called The Unknown. Where long forgotten stories are revealed to those who travel through the wood."

-Over The Garden Wall

[two-white-butterflies]

vienna waits for you

Description: A messy divorce with his college sweetheart sends Harvey catapulting into a bed of madness. He meets her years later, and the worst part is: they still love each other.

Pairing: harvey specter/singer!reader

A/N: i am obsessed with suits as of the moment, and i will be posting a lot about harvey specter regardless of his small fanbase. i have no idea if representing an ex-spouse is legal, but i saw jessica do it for her ex-husband so...by law of suits?

Harvey Specter does not have a positive outlook on love. His mom cheated on his dad, and subsequently his views on love were hinged on that heartbreak. Everyone around him knew that there was a great wall in the middle of Harvey and personal connections. He struggled to make friends - or in Donna's words, he is alone, has always been alone.

"What are you talking about?" Louis raised an eyebrow, a foot inside of Harvey's office. His eyes methodically darting back and forth between the two men. "Harvey was talking about his college sweetheart. She added him on Facebook." Mike lied.

Louis chuckles nervously, aware of Harvey's past.

It hasn't been that long ago, Harvey was still married to you during his early associate days. "She added you on Facebook?" Louis repeated the last words, his eyebrows were merged together. I don't mean to impose, but if Harvey's getting back with his ex-wife... Louis thought, and Harvey's jaw clenches.

He casts Mike a glance.

"If she added you on Facebook, then why didn't she add me?" Louis bites his bottom lips, Y/N likes me. I thought we were friends, Louis takes a deep breath. "Maybe it was a fake account, Louis." Harvey glares at him, his blue eyes piercing daggers deep into the other man's soul. Why couldn't have Mike thought of something clever-er?

There were three women that he could name at the top of his head, Scottie, Zoe, and that one waitress girl. "Oh, because for a second there I thought that..." Louis smiles bitterly. "Get out." Harvey rolls his eyes, mumbling something about closing the door on his way out. Louis quickly fades from view.

"What was that about?" Mike's eyebrows merged together. "None of your business," the older man replies curtly. Harvey didn't embrace the past with all of his heart. There were a million things that he could have done differently. He could be living a different life right now, had he made the right choice, but he didn't.

He has never experienced real love, but he was close, once.

"I get it," Mike sighs, aware that it wasn't smart to ask his 'mentor' personal questions. "I need those files by tomorrow." Harvey huffs, dismissing the associate. Way to ruin the day, Mike, Harvey thinks.

But it wasn't really Mike's fault.

(HARVEY SPECTER. 1ST YEAR AT HARVARD)

When you fall in love, everything happens in slow motion. As I'm watching this girl get off her motorcycle, everything happens in slow motion. She removes her helmet, and her hair is free - suddenly swaying with the strength of the wind, and when her face is free of her flowing hair - I see her face.

She's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.

"Harvey Specter, right? I'm sorry for being late but I was the one that they tasked to tour you around the place. Courtesy of Jessica." She smiles at me, her helmet sitting snugly on her hip. "You don't have to," I found myself mumbling and she shakes her head.

"I insist." She smiles at me. I think I can hear a love song play in the background. Harvard of my dreams, woman of my dreams. "Harvey Specter," I introduce myself. She mumbles her name, and shakes my hand willingly. "I'm from the school of Arts. I hope that you'll be able to attend my song event next Tuesday. I'm inviting you." She says promptly, her tone reminding me of Jessica.

School of arts? Pfft, she must come from real money.

"Invite me? But we've only just met. Shouldn't you invite me to dinner before coaxing me into your bed?" I raise an eyebrow. She laughs at my joke, I don't even know if that joke was funny in the first place - but I know that it made her laugh. "It's a song, Mr. Specter. I'm not asking for your soul." Her eyebrows relaxed, and we walk inside the building - the warmth of the heater entering my body.

"- plus, I made a bet with this girl in class that I'll be able to get more guests than her." She winked as we entered our first classroom. "Give me a good reason, and I'll bring all of my friends." I chuckled.

(CURRENT DAY)

"It is always a pleasure to see you," Jessica smiles.

"I wish that I was here under different circumstances." You take a deep breath. These past few weeks have been a blur. "A million artists have been accused of plagiarism, but songwriting is a grey area. Pearson Hardman will fix this problem. I promise." She promises.

Jessica has never let you down.

"We'll have to prove to them that your song was written before they published theirs, which is easy because you keep all our song lyrics in a clear-book." Jessica remembers, versed in all the times that you rambled about your songs in her office, but a sigh escapes your mouth. "Proving that to them is the trickiest part." You confess.

"I lost my book. I don't know if I left it with Harvey - if it's stacked in between his bookshelves, or god knows where it is." A bitter chuckle escapes your mouth as you sink deeper into the seats.

"I could've gone to any B list law-firm if this was an easy battle but I'm willing to spend money on Pearson Hardman because I can't afford to lose." You articulated with a forced smile. Being accused of plagiarism was a stain on your reputation. Pearson Hardman needs to protect your honor.

"Jessica," Harvey's voice breaks you away from your thoughts. Suddenly, the office became smaller, and the twenty-feet distance between the both of you wasn't enough to contain your anger.

"Harvey will handle your case, he is our best lawyer." Jessica compliments. "No," you resist without apprehension. "- what I need from you isn't trivial. I really can't afford to lose." You breath. If this was Jessica's way of entertaining herself, then she needs to find another person to play with. "We should all be professional here," Harvey breaks his silence.

He sits down on the couch parallel you.

He has always kept to himself, even resisted from showing you the vulnerable parts of him in fear that you'd leave. In the end, you weren't the one that left - he was the one who filed for divorce.

How do you talk to an ex-husband without yelling profanities at each other? When the last time you saw each other was in the middle of a court room, unable to look each other in the eye. It would be better to leave things unsaid, but given the circumstance - given the fact that he was staring at you right in the eye - it was impossible.

"I am being sued for plagiarism. I know that you don't care about the truth, so I'll make this simple: losing is not an option." you emphasized, wording it in a way that would leave no questions.

Jessica hands him the files.

"I don't plan on losing," Harvey mumbles while skimming through the files. "- you were smart to come here."

3:00 P.M

The sight of him in his three-piece suit, his gelled hair, and his fresh cologne scent sent you reeling back into the past. How long has it been since you've seen his shadow? Even longer since you've last spoken without your lawyers acting as a medium.

Stars shine and burn, and your star crashed into extinction.

You continued staring at him as he read through your files (all magnificently compiled thanks to your years of proofreading his case files which did not happen if anyone from the D.A asks.) "How long are you going to stare at me?" He asks in a cold tone, it has been an hour since the both of you left Jessica's office. Opting to meet in his office instead, lest you fall asleep in Jessica's comfy fibers.

"You really are miserable without me," you spoke out loud. "What the hell are you talking about?" His eyebrows merged together. "You still don't know how to tie your necktie properly," your lips burrow into your lower lips, watching a fraction of a flaw in his tie.

To any untrained eye, his necktie was polished and flawless - but you know that when he does his necktie, his thumb is a little tight and the entire fabric is tighter around the middle. The back part of his necktie moves slightly to the right, but he fixes that by tucking it in.

"I'm sorry but some of us don't have the time to study little things," his tone comes out colder than he anticipated. There was a time where Harvey was just this little thing in between your palms - if the you refused to move to the mountains, then he moves the mountains to you, that was until the fallout.

"It is because of the little things that we live," you replied in your usual artsy way, one that sends a corporate man like him careening. "- I know that you hate me." You began but he interrupts you with a stare. "I don't hate you," his voice is gentler this time.

"Regardless, I hope that you understand how much this case means to me." You look at him with your puppy-eyes, begging for justice. "I graduated from Harvard, top of my class in a course that people don't take seriously. I make art, not just soulless marketable music, but art that actually has meaning, and to be accused of plagiarism offends me. It really does." You explained your side.

And it doesn't take a genius to realize that he believes you.

"I listened to your song," Harvey replies.

"I didn't see you listening to it." You mumbled.

"You went to the bathroom and I listened in the interim," he lies. He still has your vinyl albums on his vinyl shelf, but no one knows that. "The songs are similar." He pointed out. "Songs sound similar all the time," you snap but only because you know that you've never copied a damn thing in your entire life.

"You told Jessica that you wrote this song during our... do you have any proof of that?" He inquires, following his usual procedure of investigating his client. "No, but I wrote that song after our fight. If that means something." You chuckled bitterly.

(THE BEGINNING OF THE END)

The white blanket covered your body, providing warmth against the coldness of your shared apartment with Harvey. "Good morning, beautiful." He presses a kiss to your shoulder. "Good morning," you replied with a lazy smile, still taken aback by the beauty of his stare.

When you are thrown back into reality, that sinking feeling returns and permeates in the bottom of your chest. "This isn't going to make me forget about that thing with Cameron Dennis," you sharply reminded him.

"This is why I didn't tell you in the first place." He frowns, a bad start to the day. "- you were against me when I was in the grey. I am in the black now and I don't know what you want me to do." He argues.

It wasn't as easy as you narrated it, there were nuances to the problem. Cameron Dennis wasn't going to let him go that easily, when Harvey had the evidence to implicate him in a crime. He'd want to settle a score, and a man like Cameron Dennis was unpredictable, regardless of his moral code. "Leave," your answer was simple.

"- there is still a place for you with Jessica. But if you think that covering up for Cameron, this one time makes you exempt from all the other crimes that he's about to do in the future. You're wrong. Don't wait until it comes to bite you in the ass," you pleaded.

Greater than him have failed against corruption. You didn't want to see him become another clog in the machine, if he was in the black a foot inside of the room - then what shade would he be a year being inside of the room? "If your eyes are open, there's no reason to close them." You continued to persuade.

"It's not that easy." He repeats himself, and for a man of his stature - it really isn't easy. All he had to defend himself was you and Jessica. "I know that it isn't, but instead of involving yourself it would be better to leave before the tides become stronger." You advised, but judging by the look in his eyes - he wasn't listening to you.

5:00 PM

"Their estate replied, they're willing to settle on 40%." Harvey informed you, aware that it was the best deal that he could get out of this scenario. You didn't have a single evidence in your hands, none but your words and the stories attached to it. He believes you, but it would never uphold in court. "I want to settle on 0%." You insisted.

It is bold, but not even half of what Harvey settles on a daily basis. "They wanted 100 and I got it down to 40, unless you come up with an alibi or concrete evidence. I firmly advice you to accept their offer." Harvey tries to convince you, his tone mirroring yours all those years ago. "For Christ's sake," you mumbled - it was a losing game.

You couldn't let anyone take credit over your song.

This song means something to you.

It means something to your life.

"I hate you Harvey," you suddenly let out.

After all these years you still hold that divorce against him. It wasn't your fault in the first place, he allowed himself to be consumed by that corruption in Cameron Dennis' office. He blamed you for every little problem that he encountered, he pushed you away, told you that he never cared about you - even though that wasn't the truth. Not even close to the truth, because he was afraid.

Afraid that you'd cheat on him. Afraid that you'd leave him, he left first. So he'd be the winner.

"What is this really about?" He tried to keep his distance. "You can't even win this damn case." You insulted him, your words still able to cut through his thick walls. "- you defend capitalists. You're a clog in the machine, and you can't even defend an innocent woman." You were aware that your anger was misplaced, but he was the one standing in front of you - the object of your ire.

"You still can't let it go," his voice was a distant whisper. "- this world isn't a walk in the park. I told you that during the divorce, and I still mean it." He says the word 'divorce' with no reluctance, whereas he was avoiding that word a few hours ago. "You changed. I can't even recognize you," you chuckled mockingly. "What happened to the man who had a moral code?" You ask.

"You've been gone for a long time." He made an observation. "And we don't know each other that well. You were always away, building your career. Leaving me." He voices out his anger for the first time in decades. His jaw clenches again, but his eyes - oh you could tell from his eyes that he was heartbroken.

"So the divorce was my fault?" You queried.

"We barely spoke to each other. You didn't return my calls, you pushed me out, you made me think that there was someone else." He points a finger at you, raising his voice by an octave. "I was scared that if I answered you, then we'd fight. So I ignored you because ignoring you was better than losing you!" You yell.

The last years of your marriage was hell. Every little thing that unnerved you of each other was brought out, used in arguments - and the very swords that you promised to defend each other with, was used to stab each other in the back.

"You gave me the divorce papers, I told you that we could fix our marriage and you ignored me too. I'm not the villain that you're making me out to be, Harvey." You take a deep breath, regaining your composure and walking out of his office.

(A DAY AFTER THE DIVORCE PAPERS WERE GIVEN)

I take a deep breath.

In and out, like she always told me to do.

How long has it been since we've last spoken to each other? The only time that I was able to hear the sound of her voice was when the judge spoke to her and she requested for half of my properties. I should hate her for doing that but I don't.

"Harvey, I'm sorry for that plea with the judge. I don't know how to get your attention without suing you. We both made mistakes, but that isn't a good enough reason to let go. Let's fix us. I love you, and please call me back." The voicemail ends and I take the phone off my ear. I love you, three words that I have never said to her before.

I can see her sitting on the corner spot of the cafe - the cafe where we had our first date because the steakhouse that I booked mysteriously got shot down, and she insisted on having coffee for dinner. I can see her wearing the red dress that she wore on her song recital - the first time that I was able to hear her perfect voice.

I want to enter the room, but I can't.

I reach for my phone, dialing her familiar number.

It rings a few times, and I see her fish for her phone inside the bag.

"Hello?" I hear her voice on the other line. "Harvey, are you coming?" She asks, but I'm already here - without the courage to walk through the doors. "Harvey," she says my voice in a firm tone.

I open my mouth to speak but no voice comes out. I'm scared, and what if she'll leave me in the future? I should leave before she falls out of love with me, before she realizes that I'm not worth the sweat. "- for christ's sake. If you're here to laugh at me." Her voice becomes frustrated, and I see her stand up.

She hangs up.

"I love you too," but she was unable to hear me.

10:00pm

Harvey takes a swig of his beer, making his way to an apartment that he hasn't been in for a long time. This used to be your shared apartment with him, and he got ownership of it in the settlement. He opens the door with the keys in his pocket (keys that he's always kept in his pockets just in case he needed to return).

The apartment didn't smell like you anymore, it smelled like dust. The pristine white couch was now a muddied version of grey, and all the portraits you had together were covered with a thick layer of dust. He takes a deep breath, sitting down on the floor beside the vinyl shelf.

He took all of his vinyls and placed them in his office, but yours were still there. The Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Don McLean and Coldplay, your favorite artists - and he hasn't listened to them in a while. He doesn't understand how your marriage with him took a sharp turn - he valued your love, held it close to his heart, but in the end it slept away from his hands, carried on and never looked back.

He opens the dusty vinyl box and plugs in the song.

The song that you were being sued for, and the song that he has only listened to once because he couldn't bear listening to your voice.

Slow down you crazy child, you're so ambitious for a juvenile. But if you're so smart, tell me why are you still so afraid? Where's the fire what's the hurry about? You better cool it off before you burn it out.

He opens one of the albums in the shelf. Elvis Presley's That's The Way It Is, which the both of you voted as the best Elvis album of all time, the soundtrack of your love story with him.

You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through? When will you realize, Vienna waits for you.

The song continues playing in the background, and to his surprise a paper napkin was folded in the middle of the album, creating an indent that he hasn't noticed before. He reaches for the paper napkin, afraid that it would disintegrate with his touch. He unfolds it gently and to his surprise, the lyrics to the song that you were being sued for: Vienna, was written there.

To my husband, please remember that I'll be here waiting for you.

12:00 AM

He knocks on your apartment door, and you groggily open the door for him. "What the hell are you doing here?" Your eyebrows merged together, surprised by his sudden appearance. "I can win the case," he says with certainty - but already knew that. Harvey Specter is the best lawyer in NYC.

"You don't like losing. I get it." Your voice had hidden meaning.

Your eyes only softened once you realized that he was holding a laminated paper napkin in his right hand. "You found it," you take a deep breath, which probably also means that he was able to read the note that you wrote. "I went to our old apartment and it was-"

"In Elvis' album," you finished his sentence. "I didn't expect you to still have that apartment. I expected you to sell it the moment that it was given to you," it was your turn to make an observation.

"I'm sorry for hurting you." He made it very clear that he regretted the divorce, but should a relationship be founded on regret?

"It's in the past. We both have moved on." You partly lied.

"I was there in the cafe when you called me, and I wanted to talk to you but I was scared." He admitted, finally able to voice out his thoughts after all these years of keeping it in. "I was scared to tell you the truth because everyone who has loved me, has left me." He repeated, and suddenly a great weight was placed on your back.

"I think about you everyday," you confess.

Your hands in his necktie, pulling him closer towards your body. "What if we hurt each other worse?" It was your turn to voice your concern, eyes mirroring his - your fears were tangible. "Let's try again. I'd rather live knowing that we tried again, than live knowing that we could have but didn't." Harvey begs.

You answer him with a kiss to the lips.

A/N: will do a pt 2 fluff 🙏🏻 idk if people still watch suits but i love this show and i live breathe it.

[augustinewrites]

[twenty-two minutes to midnight]

hange zoe is a special brand of stupid. 

at least that’s what levi thinks as his friend says, stupidly, “if neither of us are kissing anyone at midnight, i guess i’ll have to kiss you, levi.” 

levi ackerman makes it his special mission to be as far as possible from his friend before the clock strikes 12. when it comes to hange, his ever-scowling lips are for critical judgment and insults only. 

“pass,” he scoffs, rolling his eyes when they pout at him. 

“but what about all those times you asked me how to—”

“this conversation is over,” he deadpans, emphasizing his point by walking away. 

but levi has learned long ago that there’s no walking away from hange. they drags themselves up and away from the table to follow, throwing a heavy arm around his shoulders. “why not though? are you planning on kissing someone else tonight?”

their tone is teasing, but their eyes give them away. hange’s fishing for a specific answer. 

“no,” he answers much too quickly to be nonchalant.

his friend just smirks. “she’s here, you know. erwin said she just got back a few weeks ago.”

“i had no idea.” (he already knew.)

“she’s still single.”

“i don’t care.” (he might care.)

they hum thoughtfully. “so you wouldn’t mind if i kissed her instead?”

levi doesn’t answer this time, shoving his friend’s arm off his shoulder and trying to disappear into the party. 

erwin’s parties were always too big, in his opinion. he packed his penthouse apartment to the brim, and how anyone had this many friends, he had no idea. at least the sheer amount of people would allow him the opportunity to slip away, maybe hide in some quiet corner wearing a scowl that could repel the bravest souls.

(and if he hides, there’s no way he’ll run into you, right?)

[twelve minutes to midnight]

by merely thinking of you, levi’s mother would probably say he was tempting fate. his mother was almost always right, loathe as he was to admit it.

because, yeah, it’s barely twenty minutes later when he spots you across the room, sipping champagne while chatting with miche and hange. 

you have your back to him, but he knows that it’s you. it’s instinct— the way his eyes linger down the familiar shape of your body. he traces each curve draped in blue silk the way his hands once did.

levi could go over there. he could tell you that you look gorgeous in that dress. he could tell you that he misses you, needs you, loves you…

but then miche would make that face, and hange would fail to bite back that smile, and levi would have to block both their numbers and all their social media accounts again. 

he could tell you these things, but he’s never figured out how. levi likes to handle things on his own and refuses to show weakness to anyone. 

so he turns on his heel and heads in the opposite direction instead, towards the kitchen to look for a drink. he wasn’t really one for alcohol, but he needed it tonight. 

he’s frowning over the various bottles when erwin appears, a knowing grin on his face. he has a habit of materializing out of nowhere when levi’s at his weakest.

“looking for anything in particular?” the blond asks. 

“just a beer,” he mutters. 

erwin hums, contemplative, then lists various drinks. “let’s see. there are have craft brews, ipa, winter wheat—”

levi makes a face. when the fuck did beer get complicated? “what the hell is a winter wheat?”

“it’s beer, levi,” he chuckles, shooting him an amused look. it lasts a second too long, and is followed by, “you saw her, didn’t you?”

“what does that have to do—”

“are we talking about levi’s love life?”

“no, we’re not,” levi snaps, shooting miche a warning glare that his dumb friend chooses to ignore. 

“come on, we’ve known about your crush for years now,” the man continues, judging him slightly. “remember when you got drunk on hange’s birthday?”

“ah, yes,” erwin sighs, as if he’s recalling a particularly fond memory. “when you announced that you sorely missed—”

“oh my god. i hate my life,” levi mutters, turning on his heel and making his escape as the two grown men giggle like schoolgirls. he grabs the most expensive looking bottle of liquor, yanking the cork out and tossing it onto the counter. 

“maybe you’ll hate your life less if you get laid!”

levi flips them both off before slipping out onto the balcony, content to hide out here until the countdown is over. the door slowly slides shut behind him, muffling the mellow music and cheery laughter inside. 

he sets the bottle he’d swiped on the parapet, looking out at the twinkling city lights. these parties were much too suffocating, full of bright-eyed people that seemed keen on conversing with him no matter how reproachful his gaze. 

he doesn’t turn around when he hears the door slide open and shut behind. he already knows who’s followed him outside.

winter here provides a crisp cool, but levi doesn’t mind, slipping his suit jacket off and tossing it onto a patio chair. you don’t seem to mind it either, bare back pressed against the parapet as you smile over at him.

“you didn’t say hello,” you murmur, leaning towards him. levi steals a glance at you, eyes wandering down the column of your neck to the tempting plunge of your neckline. 

“hey,” he grunts, holding out the bottle he’d swiped in offering.

you accept it, taking a small sip. your face immediately pinches in displeasure, causing levi’s to crack with a small grin. 

“how’s your night?” you ask out of nowhere. 

“bored,” he answers stiffly, scuffing the toe of his shoe against the patio. “though i don’t suppose you actually care.”

you chuckle at that, your amusement barely audible over the breeze. you both know that’s not true. “just making conversation.”

“you’re pretty shit at it.”

the air between you both is suddenly hot, but levi shivers at the brush of your fingers against the corded muscle of his arm. your touch burns like fire across his skin as you murmur,

“shut me up then.”

his gaze falls to your mouth, pulse thundering in his ears as he leans forward and closes the distance. levi moves on instinct, locking a hand around your hip and pulling you closer. he swallows your surprised gasp with a kiss, but you don’t pull away.

he kisses you softly at first, each touch and movement of his mouth hesitant as he tests your boundaries. your hands move up his chest, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt collar and somehow pulling him closer, kissing him back with a fervor that makes him dizzy. your insistent mouth parts his lips, sending tremors through his nerves and awakening sensations he wants to feel again. it’s a good kiss. not bad for the first one you share in front of your friends (who are all gathered at the window) announcing your relationship as the clock the strikes midnight.

[sgiandubh]

No lies last forever, part 2: the (over)due confirmation

With the Happy Sad Confused Tenth Anniversary Live Special being made available online, I think all doubts have now been lifted about the entire Intergalactic Bullshit this fandom has been deliberately fed for years and years in a row, by a cheap, sad troll and his accomplice. Both imbeciles' determination being only matched by the cast's complete indifference to fandom drama and, as I already wrote (https://www.tumblr.com/sgiandubh/764711074507390976/no-lies-last-forever?source=share), ***'s incompetent, tone-deaf PR.

You can watch the entire recording here, by the way:

The part where S specifically addresses his (non-existent) 'friendship' with William Shatner has been explicitly planted by the end of Jack Quaid's dedicated segment. That it has been discussed and planned prior to the show is obvious. And this time, Josh Horowitz wasn't even subtle - he announced the topic way before it 'spontaneously' popped into the conversation (39:42):

Transcription follows:

Josh Horowitz (JH): 'So, what's the dream for further voiceover roles, do you want a Pixar movie, do you want Outlander -the cartoon, what do you want?'

[laughter throughout the panelists]

S: 'Oh, I'm a Star Trek fan, actually' [women in the audience boo and shout - I wonder why, seriously], 'I am a Star Trek fan, I grew up watching Next Gen, so maybe Below Decks is... come on, guys.. '

[Note: yeah, he's such a fan, he has no idea the correct name of the cartoon spin-off, in which Jack Quaid has a voiceover role, is Star Trek: Lower Decks]

JH: 'We'll get him out in a second' [note: Jack Quaid], we'll talk some Star Trek, amazing...'

See? Not even subtle, if you ask me. I think this is something S wanted out for a good while now. It doesn't erase or even ease the pain and the trauma brought to so many people in this fandom by a pair of idiotic bullies, but I think it was very brave of him and, at any rate, it's better later than never.

And so, I waited. And waited. And waited. And then, here it went (01: 02: 54):

JH (consulting notes):' Um, we also should mention Star Trek: Lower Decks, we talked Star Trek a little bit earlier...'

Jack Quaid (JQ):'And, by, the way, this is the last season of Lower Decks, but we would have loved to have you! What the fuck, I didn't know you watched the show! [inaudible, if someone caught it properly, something like 'that was so close', I'd love to know more and especially who said it - thank you] Unbelievable!'

S: ' That is so cool, man!'

JQ: 'Oh, thank you, dude! Oh, yeah, hey, let's get rendered (?), let's do this, we keep going, let's get him on, let's do it!'

JH: 'Isn't...isn't William Shatner a big Outlander fan? I feel like he is...'

S (very uneasy): 'Ah... erm... yeah... (scratches back of his head)...I hung out with him once, we went to his stables and I watched him like riding a horse and stuff.... And, I don't know, it was really weird, cause sometimes I wonder if I am speaking to him via messages and stuff, or if it's actually his assistant [JQ: 'oooh!'], I don't know...'

JQ: 'Does his assistant look a lot like him?'

S (chuckles): 'Kind of...Yeah, you can't tell them apart. Yeah, no, but I believe he was a fan, until he saw me ride'.

Despite the jocular tone, I think everything is pretty much clear, here. Definitely a prepared conversation, despite Horowitz's efforts to make it sound playful and spontaneous. Something he even took prior notes about and made sure to include in the panel - nothing more serious than that, in fact. As for the sad cretin mentioned there, what would be left to say... S sent the guy to Coventry in barely two phrases and actually poked fun at his appearance and demeanor ('you can't tell them apart'). So long for the fictional 'friendship' and 'communication' between S and The Assistant, so long for the braggadocio that horrible little man exhibited all the way, pretending he actually had a personal relationship with S (well, as we all see, he actually doesn't: he doesn't even have a name, in S's book, as acquaintances, let alone friends, do). His only claim to fame was what, in reality? Answering some X DMs sent by S to his employer? Hello? How about his threats, then? How about his repeated calumny of people he didn't even know, calling them 'crazies', 'in need of medical attention', etc?

And please, don't come after me with that sorry excuse that 'it's S's humor'. There was nothing humorous about it and I have proven it already.

I will leave you draw your own conclusions about the non existent friendship with Shatner, something that has probably been 'encouraged' ex nihilo by *** and taken to dramatic cheapness and conflict with and within this fandom by The Assistant himself, mainly, and his friend, the OG Troll. I do not remember hearing/seeing Shatner himself saying all those horrible things (please correct me if I am wrong), so until I am proven the contrary, it's only logical to have many thoughts and questions about these people's strange, very strange obsession with OL and its two main co-stars.

Not to mention the most idiotic threat I have ever read in this fandom. Something I fell upon by absolute chance this morning. I mean, I couldn't even believe people actually bought such primitive, kindergarten bullshit:

[July 29th, 2017]

' Do you still want OL to continue or not, people?'

Empty, illogical threats: why would *** cancel its actual cash cow show, just because two co-stars had something SO obvious, that people realized there was more than the official narrative to it? And what about the crazy story about Albrecht & co. investigating and allegedly menacing fans with going to court? Has this cretin ever realized the potential media scandal would have far outweighed the inanity of such a claim? That it could very well have a serious impact on ***'s company profile and future projects, even?

I really, really think both of these Unsavory Clowns should find another playground and another obsession to cling on (wasn't the first, would not be the last). Elsewhere. In a galaxy far, far away.

PS: Thank you, regular attendee who bravely spilled the tea and thank you, old shipper who came forward and confirmed. And many heartfelt thanks to all of you shippers, old and new, who also bravely stepped forward with their personal take on everything these two have done to this place.

Dare we hope this is the beginning of the end? What is sure, is that no lies last forever. Or as we say in Romanian: minciuna are picioare scurte și adevărul o ajunge/'a lie's got short legs and truth will always catch up with it'.

[Later edit]: edited to add a new, improved clip that actually does include the entire conversation.

[xoxochb]

⋆·˚ ༘ * please, please, please

warnings: set during that one scene from ttc, reader is a minor goddess of music/singing (to fit the sabrina carpenter vibe ykwim?), a bunch of quotes are not mine they are direct from the book so credits to uncle rick!! there’s also a lorelai gilmore reference at the end

pairing: apollo x goddess! daughter of aphrodite and ares

“absolutely not”

you give the sun god a look of pleading and he laughs at your desperation

“I don’t know what you’re talking about”

you hit his head “yes you do”

“she’s my dear old sister-” apollo begins

“exactly. along with her hunters and others”

“I don’t see the problem”

“the problem is that you can’t control yourself”

“well when I’m around you…”

“oh my gods!” you hit him twice this time “this is what I’m talking about. you’re an idiot”

apollo ignores your comment and drives (??) the sun chariot to the snowy ground

“I beg you do not embarrass motherfucker” you warn

when you step out onto the wet grass and before you have the chance to greet everyone apollo speaks,

"little sister!" he calls "what's up? you never call. you never write. I was getting worried!"

artemis sighs "I'm fine, apollo. and I am not your little sister"

"hey, I was born first."

"we're twins! how many millennia do we have to argue?"

"so what's up?" he interrupted. "got the girls with you, I see. you all need some tips on archery?”

“I need a favor. I have some hunting to do, alone. I need you to take my companions to camp half-blood”

"sure, sis" he then raised his hands in a stop everything gesture “I feel a haiku coming”

the hunters groaned but nonetheless he held up a dramatic hand and began to speak,

‘green grass breaks through snow

artemis pleads for my help

I am so cool’

he grinned waiting for an applause

“last line was four syllables” you point out

apollo frowns "was it?"

"yes” artemis agrees “what about I am so big-headed?"

"no, no, that's six syllables” he starts to mutter to himself but you ignore it, you could be here for days

one of the hunters, zoe you recognized turned to the demigods and explained how apollo had been into haikus since he got back from japan, and said god interrupted her soon after

"I've got it!" he announced "I am so awesome. that's five syllables!" he bowed feeling pleased with himself

"and now, sis” he continues “transportation for the hunters, you say? good timing. I was just about ready to roll”

"these demigods will also need a ride," artemis points to them

"no problem!" apollo checked them out "let's see... thalia, right? I've heard all about you."

thalia blushes "hi, lord apollo"

‘isn’t that his sister?’ you think

"zeus's girl, yes? makes you my half sister. used to be a tree, didn't you? glad you're back. I hate it when pretty girls turn into trees. man, I remember one time-”

you cut him off with an elbow to his stomach, he winces in pain. a black haired demigod- with sea green eyes to differentiate him from the others, he must be poseidon’s- eyes you before asking,

“are you a goddess? how come I don’t recognize you?”

“minor goddess” you confirm “of music. my parents are ares and aphrodite, and unfortunately I am married to this idiot” you give apollo an angry look but he throws an arm around your shoulder

the daughter of zeus chokes on nearly nothing “married?!”

you nod “twelve years”

artemis speaks again “how she can put up with him is a mystery”

“well we should get going” apollo interrupts

“yes, I agree” you say and pull the sun god’s arm off of you, he frowns at the loss of contact

the hunters and demigods pack up their belongings and you pull apollo to the side, he prepares himself for whatever you’re going to say, which he’s sure will be a scolding because he ignored the one thing you asked of him

“listen-” he starts

“how about I talk you listen?” you cross your arms

this was going to be a long scolding…

[dyk3tastic]

friends

victoria neuman (the boys) x reader

genre: angst, light smut, hurt/comfort(ish)?

summary: when victoria shows up unannounced at your apartment in the dead of night you want nothing more than to kick her to the curb, you let her in anyway. reader is a member of the boys, could be read as a follow up to my previous fic “cant have both” or as a stand alone. (now wiv a follow up u can read here)

warnings: weapons, language, slightly nsfw, light smut, mentions of sex

a/n: back with another one. getting back into posting ff, haven’t written for an ‘audience’ in a while, feedback is appreciated. enjoy! :)

“wow, you really gonna treat a friend like that?” victoria drawled, foot blocking your front door, stopping you locking her out. wide grin flashing her perfect white teeth. the last thing you wanted at 4am was to shuffle bleary eyed through your shitty apartment, glock firm in your grip by your side, to answer that incessant hammering against your door. when you open the door to see her standing you want nothing more than for the earth to open up and swallow you whole, dreading wallowing in the limbo between you both. the space between hate and longing, betrayal and understanding, where all interactions between you two now seemed to take place. you were tired.

staring up at you under her thick dark lashes, you knew you couldn’t get rid of her even if you wanted to. “we’re not friends” you croak out, voice rough with exhaustion. she just laughs at you, continuing to blink up at you like a fawn, flashing her predatory smile. “what are you doing here vic?” you hiss frustrated by her brazenness and lack of explanation.

“can i come inside? i want to talk to you”, she lets her smile drop. “please”.

you say nothing to each-other as you turn to let her in, she slides past you, eyes dragging down your body, heat prickles your ears as she clocks your batman underwear. she strides in, confident and assured as ever, walking towards the kitchen as if she were coming home from work, like she owns the place. just as you’re starting to become hyperaware of your lack of clothing she speaks again, voice gentle and relaxed over the quiet hum of the tv, “i knew you wouldn’t be asleep yet”.

“is that what you’ve come here to do, pretend to know me so well, tell me about my fucking sleeping patterns?” you mutter, irritated. resting against your kitchen counter you stood opposite her, taller than her now that she had her heels off. the low orange glow of the kitchen light illuminated her bronzed skin. victoria looks up at you, all brown eyed and beautiful, and it makes you forget what she’s done, what you’ve done, just for a second.

“i want zoe out. i want her far away from all this bullshit. i want out. i need you to help me undo this, to just leave it all behind. please.”

hissing, voice scratchy in your throat you half sigh, “you just turn up here and expect me to trust you, expect me to risk my life for you, blinking up at me like bambi and expecting me to feel fucking sorry for you.” “i trusted you, believed in what we were doing, in us. i thought we were working towards something right, some fucking justice for once. to find out those years of my life were useless, sisyphus pushing that rock up that never fucking ending hill for vought. when i told you about-“ you stop abruptly, tired of rehashing the past, take a deep, shaky breath and collect yourself. “coming round here talking about friends” you scoff.

chest rising and falling with uncertainty she stares you down, face unflinching. mocking and faux innocent she asks “we weren’t friends?”. “i’d say when i’d ride your pretty face til it was covered in my cum that we were friends, at least i definitely considered you my friend.” her smile is sharp. “when you’d rut against my leg all desperate and pleading you didn’t think i was your friend?” she added with an exaggerated pout.

you recognised the deflection immediately, could see that all she wanted was to crawl under your skin and pull you back to her. but you’d be lying to yourself if you said it didn’t effect you, the full truth of it all hanging in the air, your skin prickling with memory and mouth dry with the her boldness. “we’re not friends now” you say, proud of yourself for managing to keep your voice steady.

she steps forwards, encroaching in your space. “that’s okay, we don’t need to be friends”. she moves closer again, you don’t dare move, anxious not to scare her off, anxious to close the gap between you two. she breathes an “i’m sorry” into your neck, voice laced with what you so desperately want to believe to be sincerity. moving her head up, her nose bumps your cheek, plump lips pressing a soft kiss against your mouth. your arm moves of its own accord, snaking around her waist, urging her closer. her next kiss is less gentle, her mouth greedy and desperate against yours, chills run down your spine as you let out a quiet whimper. tongue swiping over her lower lip you let yourself get lost in her, in the kiss. transfixed by her touch heat pools deep in ur abdomen, your underwear growing sticky and uncomfortable.

the nights spent touching yourself, seething with anger as you imagined your fingers buried deep inside her, imagined pulling out those little pants and whimpers that made you want to never hear another sound again; those nights seething in your betrayal and wetness couldn’t compare to the electricity that ran through your body as her warm tongue licked lewdly into your mouth. nothing could compare to the feeling of her pressing her warm, petite but deadly body against yours. revelling in the feeling of her tits against your chest it was the bumping of her hip against the hard glock tucked in the thick waistband of your underwear that brought you out of your trance. both of you breathed heavy hot air against the others face, panting as you try to remember why you were here, to clear away you heady thoughts, to regain some semblance of control.

[14thcommander]

best kept secret and your biggest mistake | hange zoe x reader

summary: your relationship with eren is a facade, and hange is your secret lover. they wish it was more than that, but they’ll take what you’ll give them. (inspired by nobody puts baby in the corner - fall out boy)

cw: smut, 18+ ONLY. angst, cheating, drinking, sex under influence of alcohol, oral (f receiving), dirty talk, praise. afab!reader, they/them pronouns for hange zoe. the characters are flawed and reader has a personality. 

Parties have never been Hange’s scene.

Not in a superiority complex way – at least that’s what they like to think – it’s just that people aren’t really Hange’s thing. Although the consumption of alcohol has become an increasing habit in their life, the noise and social interaction are the worst parts of attending parties, they figure.

“Tch, can’t believe we’re being dragged to this shit.” Levi comments, rolling his eyes at his own boyfriend. The short man always seems to be stressed or annoyed, but this time it feels genuine. When it comes to his partner, though, it never lasts long – not really. “This is your fault, Erwin.”

Erwin Smith, ever the social butterfly and recognizable persona, is able to fluctuate through almost every social group in Mitras. Which is precisely the reason why they are entering Zeke Yeager’s birthday party, crossing the threshold of a luxurious two story house — Hange wonders if the guy isn’t a bit too old to throw parties like this anyway, but hey: it’s free alcohol. 

“Sorry eyebrows, gonna have to agree with your boyfriend.”

Erwin snorts at Hange’s words and Levi simply huffs in agreement. A typical conversation so far. The living room is crowded, the atmosphere pumps a generic pop song, and Hange already wants to leave. There are so many people Hange recognizes, realizing that they will have to greet most of them in order to be polite. They look around, scanning the room for something they know will hurt them. 

You.

“Don’t be so pessimistic, Levi.” The blond says, placing a hand on the brunette’s shoulder. The gesture is suggestive, something only lovers could share. “You’ll have fun, I’ll make sure of it.”

Hange scoffs at the scene before them, with a roll of their eyes and a bitter taste on their tongue.

“Ew, get a room, you guys are fucking disgusting.” They say, face contorting with faux discomfort. “I’m getting a drink.”

-

There’s a golden locket hanging from your neck, a collar as heavy as prison. The photo inside, blurry and bright, is of your boyfriend — which was an anniversary gift from last year, or something. The both of you are always breaking up anyway, so Hange doesn’t fully understand what the point of celebrating an anniversary really is. The jewelry doesn’t fool anyone when it comes to deceiving the mess that is your relationship. It isn’t like a necklace would make them forget how he treats you.

As if it would make you look away from his affair with Mikasa Ackerman. 

Hange can’t help but eye it, as it gleams viciously, almost as if inviting them to destroy it. Instead, they take another swing from the sweaty beer bottle in their hand. 

Everything about you is more complicated than it should be. Someone like you shouldn’t be dating Eren Yeager of all people — he’s petty, childish, the embodiment of everything you’re not. You are no saint either, however being with someone like Yeager is something that Hange takes as a personal offense. 

This is bullshit. All of it. 

“Gonna grab another beer. Want one?” Levi says, the baritone voice is somehow louder than the music that plays from somewhere in the living room. 

“Sure.”

It has been an hour or so since they have arrived, and Hange is a few beers deep in

Your boyfriend has a hand on your thigh, marking his territory just in case anyone dares to look at you with lust in their eyes. Hange fights the urge to punch him. This is bullshit. All of it. 

You mutter something to Eren, lips close to his jaw, pressing a kiss to it after you are finished speaking. Hange assumes it is something about wanting another drink. They wonder if your boy toy knows what you like, at all. For starters, you prefer silver — why would he gift you a locket that is fucking gold? 

-

Hange decides to go upstairs in order to escape from the hell that is this party, unable to watch that circus any longer. The house is crowded, causing the atmosphere to feel even worse. It’s almost claustrophobic.

And, for some unknown reason, your friends are into that. 

The bathroom — third door on the right — is thankfully empty. It is clean, too: no signs of drunken regret in the form of vomit. 

The luxurious bathroom is covered in marble with gold adjacents, from floor to ceiling. There is an enormous bathtub on the end of it. Hange if the Yeagers ran out of money when renovating the house: the bathroom is all marble but there isn’t fucking decent lighting. 

Hange locks the door, back pressed against it. They let out a sigh, something from deep in their lungs and even deeper in their heart. They adjust the thick oval glasses on the bridge of their nose, feeling emotionally exhausted after watching you play pretend with Eren.

“Fuck.” They mutter shortly before splashing their face with cold water, feeling droplets fall down their neck. It refreshes them, sure, but the sinking feeling in their stomach is still there. 

Objectively speaking, Hange knows it doesn’t have anything to do with them, or they are – the whole situation is entirely your fault. You are the one who is – allegedly – in a happy, committed relationship. Hange was merely caught in the crossfire of your desires. The jealousy that bubbles in their stomach every time they have to witness you kiss him is your fault. 

But they can’t bring themself to hate you for it. 

-

After all, is it greedy to want both of them? 

You dream of dark, charcoal eyes only to wake up to an ocean gaze staring at you. It is confusing, complicated. You wish you were not pulling and pushing, stuck in between two different worlds.

The party was becoming too much for you – too much noise, too many people. You go upstairs, to the second floor of the house, needing to get away from everything and everyone. Wondering if there is an option — begging for a sign from God — to escape all of this, your hand grabs the doorknob of the bathroom, only for it to twist magically.

And, on the other side of it, is Hange Zoe. Dimly illuminated, the first few buttons of their shirt undone, tanned skin glowing — almost reflecting, luring you in. 

“Oh.” Is all you can come up with. 

Standing face to face with the truth isn’t funny — or easy — in the slightest. The sight of Hange before you feels like the universe is taunting you with the possibility of a life you could have.

“Hi.” They greet you, voice as buttery as you remember. 

You are overwhelmed with flashbacks of car seats, foggy windows, whispered sweet nothings. The ghost of Hange’s mouth still sends chills down your spine.

And, here you are — red solo cup in hand, filled halfway with a nasty drink your own boyfriend made for you, apparently unable to know the basics of your likes and dislikes. The golden locket around your neck is so heavy, so heavy you almost drop to the ground and as your skin turns blue.

“Hey.” Your voice is barely above a whisper. Hange is a few inches from you, and you can breathe in their scent, as it intoxicates your lungs. They smell of cologne, and a subtle undertone of cigarettes. You want to ask, since last time you talked they had quit the poisonous habit – it’s as awkward as it is already, though. 

You haven’t seen them in a month, since the last time you got back together with Eren. Hange took the message when you started ignoring their texts, and posted a picture with him again on your social media. Still, they don’t understand why. 

“How long are you planning on avoiding me?” They ask, shoulder leaning against the door frame. Because fuck this — fuck all of this. Fuck Eren Yeager and his superiority complex, and how he has the only thing Hange has ever truly wanted.

You.

Considering your options, you realize you have the chance to play dumb and pretend you don’t know what they are talking about. Except, this is Hange, who knows you better than anyone else in this world — who knows your soul and brain and heart like the palm of their hand. 

“Hange,” the sound of their name tastes unbelievably sour on your tongue. “You know. You know it’s complicated.”

They know this – at least that’s what they tell themself. Hange does their best to understand you, to feel empathy about your situation. Your relationship is obviously unhealthy, maintaining you in a chokehold. Eren always has a short leash around your neck – in the form of a gold necklace, mainly. He is always around, always with an arm snaked around your waist or a hand on your shoulder. Well, except when he sneaks around to cheat on you with Mikasa. 

“Is it?” Their words make your heart beat heavily against its organic cage, begging to be freed from its confines. “You say that every time, yet you won’t leave him. I thought you had a bit more self-respect than that, to be honest. You don’t seem like the person I met anymore. Not at all.”

They take a step towards you, bringing themself unbelievably close. 

“What happened to you, huh? Little Eren made you his pet?”

Their words drip with venom, poisonous and ready to kill. They want to hurt you as badly as you hurt them, but truly, they would not be able to do so. Hange is all bark, and no bite. You, on the other hand…

“Fuck you. Fuck you from even saying that.” There are stubborn tears threatening to spill from your eyes, a mixture of anger and plead.

Hange knows they might have gone too far, their words intended to stab you in the heart and apparently they did. Alcohol doesn’t suit their anger issues, after all. 

“Tell me to step away. Tell me to fuck off and I will. I’ll go downstairs and pretend I haven’t even seen you.”

You know they would do it, in case you requested — or better, ordered. These days, you wonder if there is anything Hange wouldn’t do for you. There’s a brief moment of silence, voices echoing from the party downstairs, music pumping through the walls. 

They move closer, so close, until their forehead is pressed against yours. 

“Hange.” You mumble their name like a confirmation, like a warning. What it implicates sits heavy in your stomach. 

It is messy, you don’t know who moves first, however your lips end up moving against theirs, with a synchrony that should be long forgotten.

The disgusting liquid that you were once holding ends up splattered on the floor. Your drink of gin, that tasted like kerosene, stands out on the marble floor. Someone would have to take care of it, but not right now. Not now, that your tongues are intertwined. Hange tastes like beer, and you probably taste like something similar.

And just like that, Eren Yeager’s empire falls, right into Hange’s hands. 

They grab your waist, moving you towards the dimly lit bathroom, in order to give a bit of privacy. Smoothly, Hange closes the door and presses your back against it, the rage of Hange burning from deep in their heart — you can feel it on your bones, in your marrow. You know this isn’t a hate fuck, but it isn’t making love either.

No, this is way more intense, as they press open mouthed kisses on the warm skin of your throat. They notice you still wear the same perfume they once complimented, and they can’t help but think it’s because of them. Hange can’t help but wonder about the impact they have in your life, or if they have any at all.

They whisper something that sounds like your name, and it sounds so different from how your boyfriend says you. In this very moment, with Hange gripping your hips tightly, canine teeth grazing the side of your neck, you feel no empathy for Eren. You feel no regret at all, and if that makes you an asshole, then so be it. Being a goody two shoes, a people pleaser, has never gotten you anywhere.

“Fuck, I’ve missed this.” Hange confesses, as they pull your skirt up, guiding you to lay in the empty bathtub, on the other corner of the bathroom.

“I know. I missed you too.” You reply in the form of something in between a whisper and a moan. It's not what they said at all, but you know they mean it anyways. 

Your tits are exposed, bra tossed somewhere on the ground. Your skirt is a puddle around your waist, panties moved to the side — the sight of your glossy cunt exposed to Hange, as they offer you a smile that isn’t nothing short of wolfish. 

“Aw princess, your cunt is so wet already. So messy.” The condescending tone drips from their voice like honey, much like the wetness that drips from you.

Biting their tongue, they fight the urge to ask, is it all for me?

They take a moment to appreciate your body, fingers dancing along your soft skin, occasionally running through scars, unevenness, and a birthmark. Details they want to remember for the rest of their life, but would much rather be reminded of those every chance they get to see you strip for them. 

“Please.” You whimper, as your hips buckle. 

They shush you, fingers lightly grazing your pussy, teasing you through your wetness.

“I know, baby. I’ll give it to you, I promise. Just be good for me, yeah?” They say, pressing kisses under your year, on your neck, towards your collarbone. “Think you can do it?”

You whimper in agreement. They’ll take it

“Gotta be quiet, or someone might notice.”

Digits find themselves playing with your cunt, spreading your inner lips apart as Hange presses a single finger against your entrance, touching you just enough to drive you crazy. It sends a white hot feeling through your body.

“So fucking pretty, princess. Prettiest goddamn pussy I’ve ever seen.”

Given Hange’s history, that means something. Even if it didn’t, the praise would still make your body sing underneath them. It’s hard to properly explain the effect they have on you. 

Their experienced fingers finally find their way inside you, as a thumb rubs against your clit. It’s magical, it’s heaven. If you could choose to die like this, you would. 

This right here should make Hange feel bad, overtaken by a sense of regret at least, but they can’t. Not when you look this good, moaning and whimpering and begging. You have a boyfriend, and they couldn’t care less. 

Their fingers start pumping in and out of you, slowly at first, but growing in speed. Hange knows just how you like it, they right amount of pressure to press on your clit, and curling their fingers inside of your cunt.

“Fuck, ohmygod.” You pant, dignity long forgotten. It’s shameless, you are horny like a fucking teenager, but it feels so good. “It’s so good.”

Hange swallows another moan from you, mouth pressed to yours messily, a mixture of tongue and teeth and spit. 

“Gonna let me taste you, baby?” They ask, not showing you any mercy, already lowering their body in between your legs. “You have no idea how much I missed this pretty pussy.”

“Please, please.” You whisper in response. “Need it, Hans. C’mon.”

They smile wickedly at you.

“Know you do.”

And then, finally — finally, they press open mouthed kisses on your inner thighs, careful to not leave any marks. If there isn’t any proof of your crimes against Eren, then he can’t hold it against you. This is how it works. 

You want all they can give you, unable to quit them. 

Tiny explosions spread through your entire body, as you grind your hips against Hange’s greedy mouth. Now, this is greed — the overwhelming lust, the need to make you theirs. 

The bubble of warmth on your lower abdomen only grows, threatening to pop at any given second. 

The way Hange takes care of you with subtle touches, making it clear that they pay attention to your every reaction brings a bittersweet taste to your tongue. The contrast between them and your boyfriend is even clearer, starkly obvious. This is too intense: a mixture of passion for your lover and regret for your relationship. Somehow, it feels similar to falling in love.

Your hands find home in Hange’s dark hair, like they have many times before. For some unknown reason, this time is bittersweet – perhaps, the emotions, the touches that are so fresh on your body, send you into sensory overload. Tears escape from your eyes, like a broken dam. 

Your mind is a mess, and so is your body – wetness clings to your inner thighs, a thin layer of sweat covering your entire body. 

Their name falls from your lips like a mantra, as if your body is solely devoted to Hange – no one, not even Eren, is capable of earning such a reaction from you

You are so close – your hands pull on Hange’s hair lightly, just enough for them to moan into your cunt. Their teeth lightly graze your clit, sucking it like their life depends on it. The Earth stutters on its axis as you come, the bubble of warmth on your lower abdomen finally exploding, creating a mess out of you. Your legs tremble in pleasure, as Hange carries you through your height. 

It is quiet for a while, only your heavy breathing and the bass of music bumping from downstairs creating noise around you. Hange helps you get dressed, adjusting their hair and glasses shortly after. It isn’t silent, however wordless – an old choreography you have smoothly executed many times before. 

But, really, what is Hange supposed to say? See you next time? Can’t wait to do this again? Is this-

“I’ll leave him.” You mutter, while fixing your makeup in front of the mirror, attempting to clean it in the dim light. You look at them through the mirror, fixing your smudged eyeliner as you do so. It is still unclear if your boyfriend knows about your escapades with Hange, but you make sure to return to him as impeccably as you arrived to them. Maybe it’s better this way. 

They scoff once again. You sound like a broken record at this point, and they are tired of believing you. 

“I will-”

“Yeah, you said that last time.”

You sigh, turning around to look where they stand behind you, with a shoulder pressed against the door. Supporting your body against the sink, your gaze falls to the ground. 

“I mean it. I’ll leave him. I don’t know when, or how, but I will.”

Hange sighs.

“Alright.” They turn to you, one last time before opening the door. “But you gotta do this for you, not for me.”

With that, Hange leaves you – you wonder if this is what they felt after the countless times you were the one to leave them.

[likeadevils]

Midnights Timeline

This is a very long post that puts all the songs on Midnights in order of Taylor creating them. I’ve also included a few other songs she worked on while writing Midnights and quotes from Taylor and her collaborators talking about her process.

If you don't want to read all that, check out this playlist of the album in order, or this playlist of her entire discography. WARNING: there is a very large chunk on the playlists that I have no information on (Maroon-Dear Reader).

I’ve also added this color coded scale of how sure I am of the date: 

Confirmed: There is some type of official source for the date

Inferring: Nobody has officially said “This is when we wrote it,” but all available evidence points to that date

Speculation: This date is based off pure vibes and guesswork and is highly likely to change.

Unknown: All that is known is the year (from the US Copyright Offices

Renegade: March 7-15, 2021 (Confirmed)

Aaron: “I wrote the music [for Renegade] at some point after we finished [evermore], and sent it to her, because she was inspired by a llot of the Big Red Machine stuff we were working on. And she had already sung on Birch, a song that hasn't come out yet but is one of the major ones on the record. And I think she wanted to write a song for Big Red Machine. She very much feels like part of this community to me. So I wrote Renegade, the music, and sent it to her. And not unlike a lot of the things we've done together, one day I woke up to a voice memo from her and she had written this incredible song about how anxiety and fear get in the way of loving or being loved. And she was clearly thinking about Big Red Machine. And then we recorded her vocals and everything the week of the Grammys, when I was there in LA, and it was really nice to have something to think about that wasn't related to the Grammys - just to make music because you feel like making it." (transcript from jaimie)

High Infidelity and Would've Could've Should've: March 7-15, 2021 (Confirmed)

Aaron: [Would've Could've Should've], we wrote that song together, and recorded it while we were together in LA for the folklore Grammys. It goes back that far. And the same with High Infidelity. Those songs, we actually recorded in her house, the vocals, we recorded them then. And I just kept making music, and it was kind, after we had made folklore and evermore, I started to have ideas which I would share. And eventually, she obviously made most of Midnights with Jack, and it became something different. But High Infidelity, and Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve, and The Great War, and we made Hits Different with Jack and Taylor and I also, and it was great to be part of that record in that way. (transcript from @cages-boxes-hunters-foxes)

The Great War and Hits Different: between April-October 2021 (Speculation)

In the above quote talking about his songs on Midnights, Aaron says "Eventually, she obviously made most of Midnights with Jack, and it became something different," implying his stuff was written before the bulk of midnights in fall. He also says High Infidelity and Would've Could've Should've "[go] back that far," which implies they were some of the earliest stuff on Midnights, so it's safe to assume TGW and Hits Different come sometime afterwards.

Summer 2021: Jack has a session with Sounwave, Sam Dew, and Zoe Kravitz, where the instrumentals for Lavender Haze and likely Glitch are written

Rolling Stone interview with Sounwave: Before Antonoff began to work on Swift’s tenth album, he was cooking up tracks with Spears, Dew, and Zoë Kravitz [...] During a brainstorming session, the quartet put together a track that would eventually become “Lavender Haze.”

November 3 2021: It was announced that Joe has been cast in Stars at Noon, alongside Margaret Qualley, Jack Antonoff's then girlfriend now wife. Since Joe was parachuted into the film last minute, filming had already started, making it likely he left as soon as possible.

Taylor: We’d been toying with ideas and had written a few things we loved, but Midnights actually really coalesced and flowed out of us when our partners (both actors) did a film together in Panama. Jack and I found ourselves back in New York, alone, recording every night, staying up late and exploring old memories and midnights past.

November 8: Jack gets back from touring with Bleachers. Let the games begin.

Vigilante Shit: November 2021 (Speculation)

Vigilante Shit is the sole solo writing credit on the album, which implies it was written before her and Jack were holed up together 24/7. Also Scooter and his wife divorced in July. Beyond that there's no evidence this is early in the process, besides it making sense that Taylor wrote this alone, brought it to Jack, and then fell into a creative inferno.

Maroon, Anti-Hero, You're on Your Own Kid, Midnight Rain, Bejeweled, Labyrinth, Mastermind, Paris, and Dear Reader: November/December 2021 (Inferring)

I don't have enough info on the making of any of these songs to give them each their own little blurb, but if anything pops up I will update this post and reblog it letting y’all know.

Question..?: After November 21, 2021 (Inferring)

We know Rachel Antonoff, Dylan O'Brien, and Austin Swift were there the day they recorded it thanks to this behind the scenes footage of them recording the cheering vocals. Dylan was filming The Vanishings at Caddo Lake in Louisiana sometime between October 5 and November 20. I don't know exactly which dates he was filming-- he was in New York for All Too Well filming in late October and to attend the premiere on November 12, but since we know for sure he was in Louisiana on the 20th, I'm just gonna Occam's Razor it and say Question was written sometime after he got back from that.

You're Losing Me: December 5, 2021 (Confirmed)

December 17, 2021: Filming wraps on Stars at Noon, and with it the bulk of recording for Midnights.

Lavender Haze: Early 2022 (Speculation)

Lavender Haze, Snow on the Beach, and Karma are the only songs to have Henson Recording Studios credited (I can't find studio credits for the 3am tracks so there is possibly more on there). This could point to them all being recorded around the same time time, or it could be in reference to Jack and Sounwave's original recording sessions taking place at Hensen. I lean towards the former, since 1) it seems like the Winter 2021 sessions were mostly between Taylor and Jack, and the spring sessions have other collaborators, and 2) the tabloid rumors about Taylor and Joe getting engaged really started heating up in February 2022. On the other hand, Sounwave implies that there was a notable stretch of time between Lavender Haze and Karma, so I totally understand if you want to put it with the rest of the Winter 2021 sessions. Rolling Stone interview with Sounwave: A few months [after Jack and Sounwave wrote the instrumentals], Antonoff reached out to Spears, Dew, and Kravitz to see if he could pitch [Lavender Haze] to Swift, who loved it immediately. She wrote lyrics inspired by a Mad Men scene, numerous tabloid rumors and online gossip about her relationship status, and “1950s expectations.” “When Jack brought us in the hear for the first time, all our mouths dropped. She took it to a whole new world and made it her own. She created different pockets we did not hear.”

Glitch: Early 2022 (Speculation)

Rolling Stone interview with Sounwave: "Glitch,” one of the bonus songs on the Midnights (3am) edition, was born from the same studio session as “Lavender Haze.” I don't know if this means the instrumentals to Lavender Haze and Glitch were done in the same session, Taylor wrote the lyrics in the same session, or both. For the same reason as Lavender Haze, I lean towards this coming later in the process, as well as Glitch mentioning being together for six years, and in November 2021 Taylor and Joe had been together for a little over 5 years. That being said, Taylor could've assume the album was going to come out in 2022, and that she would stay with Joe until then, and bump up that date a bit. It's still very up in the air.

February 5, 2022: Taylor is photographed leaving Jack's house holding a keyboard.

Sweet Nothing: Spring 2022 (Inferring)

Joe is a co-write on this, meaning they likely wrote it after he got back from filming. It also mentions their trip to Ireland in 2021 and refers to it as "last July", implying it was written in 2022. While I was writing this timeline Taylor liked this post on twitter, implying that at least the second verse is in reference to Paul and Linda McCartney. The quote is from his poem Blessed, which you can read in this interview (TWs for death and cancer)

Bigger Than The Whole Sky: March 2022 (Inferring)

Claire Winter, a close friend of Taylor's, posts on Instagram that she miscarried. (I toyed with whether or not to add this, but seeing as Claire Winter made the information public herself, I decided to put it in. If she ever takes that Instagram post down, let me know and I'll delete this part.)

Snow on the Beach: April 1, 2022 (Inferring)

On April 1, Lana Del Rey posts a video on Instagram of Jack in the studio with an unidentified female voice in the background. Two days later she posts this photo, which Taylor and Jack both include in posts about Midnights/Snow on the Beach. Lana: Well, first of all, I had no idea I was the only feature [on that song]. Had I known, I would have sung the entire second verse like she wanted. My job as a feature on a big artist’s album is to make sure I help add to the production of the song, so I was more focused on the production. She was very adamant that she wanted me to be on the album, and I really liked that song. I thought it was nice to be able to bridge that world, since Jack [Antonoff] and I work together and so do Jack and Taylor. Taylor: And with Snow On The Beach, which features the genius Lana Del Rey, very lucky to have collaborated with her on that. And Dylan [O’Brien] was actually in the studio with me and Jack, because a lot of the time we record at his place, and Dylan was just hanging out, drinking wine with us, and listening to stuff, and he was just trying out the drum kit there. He wasn't serious. But we were drinking wine, and we were sort of like, 'We haven't recorded the drums for this one yet! See if you want to...' and he played the drums on the song. Sometimes it just happens like that. (transcript once again from jaimie)

Karma: Spring 2022 (Speculation)

Rolling Stone interview with Sounwave: The bubbly “Karma” came later [than Lavender Haze and Glitch], when Antonoff reached out to Spears for any other ideas he may have to contribute to the album and its synth-pop vision. “‘Karma’ was just a last-minute Hail Mary,” Spears says. “I remembered I was working with my guy Keanu [Beats] and had something that was too perfect not to send to her. As soon as I sent it, Jack was instantly like ‘This is the one. Playing it for Taylor now. We’re going in on it.’ The next day, I heard the final product with her vocals on it.”

April 19, 2022: Elle's interview with the Conversations with Friends cast is released, and when Joe is "asked if he hopes to continue writing songs, Alwyn simply says, “It’s not a plan of mine, no.”" It's possible this means Sweet Nothing was yet to be written, but I think it's more likely Joe was just denying in order to not create hype around a song that wasn't officially announced yet.

May 2022: Taylor teases Labyrinth lyrics in her NYU Commencement Speech and says m i d n i g h t very prominently on this instagram post, meaning by early summer she was likely confident in the album's name and which songs would make the tracklist.

And that's all for this timeline! Check out my others:

TIMELINES: debut • fearless • speak now • red • 1989 • rep • lover • folklore • evermore • midnights PLAYLISTS: debut • fearless • speak now • red • 1989 • rep • lover • folklore • evermore • midnights • entire discography GENERAL: tag

[sundew199]

Every once in a while

a/n: anon request!! I am so sorry this took so long, whoever requested this you can yell at me lmao

tags: Hange Zoe x reader, slight age difference, modern au, ceo!hange, gender neutral reader but f!descriptions in smut,

The convention center was overwhelmingly hot and getting to the point of making you feel claustrophobic, too many people packed into this place to move around properly. Your boss had chosen you and two other employees to attend this business development conference with them. At first you turned it down, having important things at the office to focus on to spend three days sitting in an auditorium with thousands of other people to listen to the "big dogs" talk about what you needed to do to reach they top. It was all the same stuff: market, network, attend seminars to gain new ideas, all the stuff you've been hearing for years since starting your career in corporate business.

What confused the most out of everything was why your boss was attending. in your honest opinion, they didn't need to sit and listen to the advice these men and women were giving, if anything they needed to be on the stage right along with them and giving out their advice. Survey Corp International was one of better well know companies dealing in scientific research and studies in the area you worked. So why wasn't Hinge giving their spiel on how they climbed their way to the top in what you think was impressively fast. Could be the fact your boss was humble and didn't think of themselves as highly as you did. Oh well, once you made it through today, you'd be closer to getting home and returning to your routine.

"What do you say we all go out for dinner tonight? There's this restaurant down town that opened up and people have been raving in the reviews."

Hange walked in front of you and the two other employees that came with to this conference, stopping to turn back and see what the three of you thought about her suggestion.

"Yea that could be nice," Moblit, the vice president of Survey Corp International, agreed.

"Only if you promise we won't be staying out all night, we still have half a day tomorrow before this thing wraps up." Levi, the chief financial officer for the company, reminded.

Hange scoffed at their CFO's remark, rolling their eyes and slinging the tote bag with various handouts the staff at the convention gave to attendees. "Fine, but stop acting like I'm holding you hostage. Are you up for a nice dinner with your favorite coworkers?"

Directing the question at you, snapping you back to attention. "Oh yea for sure, dinner sounds nice."

"Great, I'll make reservation for tonight and we can all meet up in the hotel lobby." Swiveling back on their heel, picking up the pace in their steps as they made their way to the front doors of the convention center.

Glancing at the other two, giving a small shrug, you followed Hange out the doors back to the hotel everyone was staying in. Thankfully your boss was able to secure the last two rooms in the hotel within walking distance from the conference center, saving you and everyone else from having to catch a ride over. Staying in the same room as your boss wasn't as bad as you made it out to be beforehand, though they were eccentric and a bit wild, they respected your space and didn't make it as uncomfortable as might've been rooming with the CEO of such a big company. You were hired on as the Chief Operations officer about a year ago, keeping things running smoothly and organized. The previous COO quit after not being able to handle Hange and their constant 'squirrel' like moments, his way of describing. But you didn't ever have that problem, in fact you sort of preferred it, keeping you busy and on your toes.

Reaching the elevators, all four of you piled in, Levi pressing the correct floor button and letting out a tired sigh. "I need to stop agreeing to come with you on these things."

"What why? We always have so much fun!" Hange exclaimed, pausing the frantic typing on their phone to give Levi an almost hurt look.

"They're draining, and pointless with how successful Survey Corp International is."

"There's still plenty to learn, stop being so negative."

Levi opened his mouth to say something back, but huffed and decided against it, pulling a small laugh. Moblit and Levi were troopers, being at Hange's side since they started the company, proving that though they may have started graying early, they weren't quick to abandon a close friend.

Reaching the correct floor, everyone filed out, Levi and Moblit heading down to their room, letting Hange know to text them what time the reservation would be, and them murmuring out an "okay" without looking up from their phone. You headed down the hall, slipping the room key from your coat pocket and opening the door, holding it open until Hange passed through.

"Ah shit."

Hearing Hange curse while still looking at her phone, assuming it must be something business related for them to be this engrossed still.

"Everything alright?"

"Yeah, this guy wants to discuss possibly partnering with us but he wants to do it in person."

"There's those little conference rooms down in the lobby, have him meet you here." Offering your suggestion and kicking off your shoes and slipping your coat off. Hange pursed their lips, finally looked up from their phone and pondered on the idea.

"You're right I could, and I'd have plenty of time to still get ready for dinner reservations without having to run across downtown. You're a genius, you know that."

You smiled bashfully, shrugging to their compliment attempting to hide your face from them as you could feel your cheeks absolutely burning. There was something off a small crush or strong admiration for your boss and you really couldn't help it, but knew better than to try and pursue it for a handful of reasons.

"Okay, I gave the guy the hotels address, and reservations are at seven so that's about fourish hours from now." Explaining as they reached for their suit jacket and looking around for their briefcase. "And don't feel like you have to stay in the hotel room, unless you want to wait for me to get back of course."

The little wink they gave at the end of their words sent butterflies swarming in your stomach, the cheekiness of the comment and how it probably didn't even cross their mind how it affected you. Once the door was shut behind them, you let out the breath you were holding. Hange has always been so nice to you, and of course as your crush developed, their little comments stuck with you for weeks.

In the mean time, while they were gone, you would relax after attending this days long conference, take some time for yourself until it was time to get ready for the dinner reservations. You started a nice warm bath, using the expensive salts and add ins the hotel staff left in one of the cabinets, might as well right.

Accidentally dozing off in the bath after slipping in, you could hear the door opening and Hange calling your name, immediately sinking lower into the water hearing their voice, completely exposed. You couldn't hear them looking for you after a minute, so you took it as an opportunity to sneak out of the water and reach for the nearest hotel bathrobe, realizing you left any sort of clothes in your luggage, making a stupid mistake. Shit.

"The deal didn't take as long as expected! He agreed right away, isn't that amazing- wait I don't even know if you're in here." Hange exclaimed, stopping mid excitement to realize they didn't even know if you were in the room at the moment, making you shake your head amusingly as you listened from in the bathroom.

Tying the sash around your waist tighter than normal to ensure you wouldn't accidentally expose yourself, you opened the door and peaked your head out.

"That's great! Sorry I didn't hear you come in till now." Explaining yourself and catching the way Hange immediately locked eyes with you, like they were avoiding looking anywhere else. Maybe you were reading too far into things, but the shift in energy between you two could be felt, and there was no way to navigate it without making things stupidly obvious.

"Oh! please I'm the one who should be sorry, for disrupting the relaxation you had going on." Their face was red, like embarrassed as the realization set over them, making you feel hot all over.

"No! Hange it's no big deal, I needed to get ready anyway."

"Right, I'll step out and um - just don't mind me." Stumbling on words and feet as Hange tried to make things less awkward, failing miserably and unable to keep the laugh from slipping out. Hange went for the door but then stopped themselves and settled for the bathroom instead.

There were still about three hours until everyone would need to head down for dinner and what you had in mind to wear wouldn't be comfortable for lounging in the hotel bed as you caught up on a few personal things, so you simply slipped on some underwear and tied your robe back on, giving a small knock on the bathroom door to let Hange know they were good to come back out.

They looked just as flustered as earlier when they opened the door to see you were still in the bathrobe.

"You didn't change...?"

"I just put something on under this in the mean time, it's super comfortable."

Hange peaked a smile, slipping past you and heading for where their work stuff was spread out on the lone desk in the hotel room. "Can't say I blame you, but whenever you want to change for dinner just let me know."

"Of course, but don't feel like you have to run to the bathroom." Chuckling under your breath and then realizing what you said, looking away and clearing your throat. Hange stared at you with wide eyes that looked slightly glazed over, like it didn't even take them long to process what you were implying.

"I'll keep that in mind then."

Your gut was burning with anticipation, getting the strong feeling that Hange maybe experiencing the same desire you felt towards them towards you. It was a shot in the dark and your confidence out weighed your reasonable thinking or possible consequences if you were wrong.

"I don't mind the audience really, I'm not ashamed nor got anything to hide."

What were you doing? This felt so out of character for you to say, but it didn't stop you, not after seeing the way Hange got a certain sparkle in their eye at your words, like they were taking it as a challenge.

"Interesting you always seemed to have a different tone," Beginning and then trailing off, sauntering their way to sit beside you on the bed, close enough to be considered respectful but enough to reach over and grab their hand if you wanted.

"Things can change." Scooting closer, not even trying to decide where this new form of confidence was stemming from, though you had a feeling it was because you were tired of tip-toeing around your boss and wanting to just gave your way. Even if Hange were older than you, both of you were consenting adults and if Hange felt the same way as you did, why pass up on this opportunity?

Throwing a leg over their's wiggling your brows in a playful manner, you leaned in closer until your lips ghosted over Hange's ear. "Plenty of time until we meet everyone for dinner." Insinuating exactly what you wanted in such a sultry voice you sent chills up your own spine.

Hange wasted no time then, placing their hands on your shoulders and pushing you back down onto the bed, planting their hands on either side of your head and hovering above you.

"I've been getting mixed signals from you for the longest," Cocking a half smirk, untucking their button down shirt and then reaching for the sash to your robe around your waist, loosening it and moving either side of the robe out of the way to reveal the bare skin beneath.

"Not exactly the best at throwing hints out." Shying away under their gaze, feeling so delightfully exposed, moving against the bed in an alluring manner, hearing a hitch in Hange's breath.

"Managed to pick this one up." They said proudly before diving down to kiss down your neck, moving one of their hands away from propping themselves above you to run down your body, feeling along every inch of your skin, memorizing it. You arched into their touch, huffing out when their hands brushed across your nipples, barely stimulating them but doing just enough to get a reaction out of you.

Hange laughed into your neck at the subtle reaction, maneuvering their leg in-between yours, pressing their knee right up against your cunt and making you yelp. There was no denying that you were throbbing, barely thinking twice before testing the waters and grinding against their knee. And Hange took a liking to that, nipping all the way down your neck as they began to press firmer against you, appreciating the initiative on your end, the neediness you had no problem displaying around them.

"I'm going to make an assumption that you've day dreamed of something like this happening to you," They said breathlessly, grabbing your attention with a quick flick of their tongue across your nipple.

"Possibly yea," Breathing out your response and rubbing yourself harder against Hange, arching your back and displaying yourself for them, craving more of their touch.

Hange laughed again, wrapping their lips around your nipple and sucking harshly, tearing a broken whine from your throat, enticing Hange to get you to make more of those noises. They held you down at the hip, seemingly dragging you down closer to where you were already pressed against their knee, making the contact harsher and more stimulating. Your poor clit was getting the brunt of it, and you couldn't complain, it felt so good, you were turning greedy for more.

Pulsing an insane amount, you gasped when they abruptly removed their knee, took your face in their hand and puckered your lips. Excitement flashed in their eyes behind their glasses, wetting their bottom lip and closing the distance between your lips, slotting them together and stealing all the air from your lungs.

While distracting you with a kiss, Hange snuck their free hand down between your legs, moving your panties to the side and gathering some of the wetness that had accumulated from their teasing to lubricate their fingers. You were so distracted that the gentle press of their middle finger on your clit barely caused a reaction, causing them to quickly move on to shoving two fingers inside of you without warning.

"Hange - fuck oh my god." Gasping as you broke from their mouth and arched off the bed, fisting the sheets like gravity were trying to drag you up into the sky, continuously gasping the more Hange pumped and scissored her fingers inside of you.

"You look so pretty like this, let's see what else I can do to keep you that way." Slurring with lust and excitement, briefly halting her two fingers to ghost her thumb over your clit, smiling wider the louder you began to gasp, and finally rubbing smooth circles into the bud.

Your poor lip was being teethed to death from how hard you were biting down on it, trying to force yourself to look at them but shying away when you'd spot their hand buried between your legs. A shiver ran up your spine and a tingling sensation migrated from your gut to your toes, shaking intensely the faster Hange pumped and circled your clit. You knew you were close to coming, so fucking close you could taste it and you knew it would be so sweet. But you wanted to savor this with Hange, boss or not, you don't think you'd ever get to have this intense of an orgasm again.

"Shit - I'm going to -"

"Cum?" Finishing for you, leaning back over your body, tip of her nose brushing across yours. "Cum for me then."

And the flood gates broke, easily following Hange's simple instruction and reaching your orgasm with an intensity like none other. Throughout the entirety of your orgasm, Hange made sure to help you through it, easing the pace of their fingers as you began to come down and leaving them inside you until you had finally caught your breath.

Sitting up on your elbows, looking at them with satisfied bliss, you smiled and began to open your mouth to say something.

"Now I know you're going to want to repay me, but that's not going to happen until after dinner."

They patted your outer thigh, slipped off the bed and began unbuttoning their shirt to toss it in the vicinity of where most of their stuff was. You huffed, shaking your head, should've known they would try to turn down an offer you hadn't even offered yet, typical of them.

"Well then I guess you need to anticipate accepting my favor once we get back from dinner." Tying the sash to the robe around your waist loosely, pulling out your travel bag and plopping it down on the bed to start looking for something decent to wear tonight.

"I think I can manage that." Looking at you from the doorway to the bathroom, a cheeky smile back on their face and the heat still present and flushing their cheeks. You mockingly winked in their direction, comfort and ease returning to the little dynamic the two of you have always had.

Maybe this wouldn't be a permanent thing that happened between the two of you but it could certainly be every once in a while, a fun little secret that stayed between you two.

tags: @alt--er--love

[okaysonny]

make it like your birthday every day ╏ crystal choi

★ summary: crystal's birthday coincides with her time of grieving.

★ details: angst, no reader, the whole gang appears :p spoilers for 516!

★ wc: 1.1k

★ A/N: because i miss my diva okay? 🙄 hello fellow crystal enthusiasts :3

crystal is used to the silence.

her house, though grand and luxurious, is eerily quiet. it's always been empty in a way — filled with the kind of wealth that couldn’t replace love. but since her father's death, the quiet had grown unbearable.

i need space. she tells herself. to think. to process. to figure out what her life should look like without her father's shadow looming over it.

so when her phone lights up with a message, her first instinct is to ignore the pings like usual. however, the words make her pause.

(1) New Message - 2:43 PM Zack Lee EMERGENCY!!! MEET US AT THE CAFÉ ASAP! IT'S IMPORTANT!

her brows furrow. strange. she barely talks to zack. if he's texting her out of the blue, it must be urgent, right?

she finds herself getting up before she considers further. if she can be of help, she should. no matter how difficult it feels right now.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

the café is bustling when she arrives, the hum of conversation and the clatter of dishes filling the air. crystal hesitates at the door, scanning the room for any sign of zack...or daniel, she secretly hopes. her chubby body always draws attention - never the good kind. and today, she feels particularly self-conscious, not bothering to dress up or brush her hair properly.

jace is behind the counter, wiping a mug. his eyes widen slightly when he spots her, but he shoots a small smile as if he'd been expecting her, before resuming back to his task. strange indeed. she spots zack sitting at a big table nearby, waving frantically.

“finally!” he says as she slides into the seat across. “we’ve been waiting forever”

“we?” crystal glances around. it's just zack. “what’s this about?”

“just wait a second” zack says, grinning mischievously - like he's in on some big secret.

crystal narrows her eyes. “if this is some kind of prank—”

before she can finish, the door swings open. daniel, jay, vasco, zoe, mira, and even eli. crystal blinks in confusion as they approach, each of them holding something — balloons, a cake, even a clumsily wrapped gift. they all look so...different from the last time she'd seen them.

“surprise!” they all shout.

crystal freezes. “what?”

“it’s your birthday, isn’t it?” daniel says, sitting down. not quite the daniel she hoped to see, but still daniel nonetheless.

crystal blinks at the sight before her, her mind struggling to connect the dots. she didn't tell anyone. she’d assumed no one would remember, let alone go to this much trouble. for a moment, she's speechless. they stand around a small cake, candles flickering gently, the faint scent of vanilla wafting around them.

eli and vasco hold a banner spelling out "HAPPY BIRTHDAY CRYSTAL!" in uneven letters. maybe it's her imagination, but she swears she sees the slightest flush on eli's cheeks as he smiles gently at her.

"you guys did this...for me?" her voice is barely above a whisper. her gaze sweeps over the group, taking in their proud smiles.

"of course we did!" daniel grins from ear to ear.

crystal’s throat tightens. she's not used to this. people don’t usually go out of their way for her — at least, not without expecting something in return. and she certainly didn't expect it from them.

she takes a shaky breath, her fingers brushing the edge of the table as if to ground herself. "i…i don’t know what to say" she finally manages.

zoe chimes in, her eyes sparkling. "you don’t have to say anything! we just want to wish you happy birthday!"

“...happy birthday crystal” mira says softly, placing the cake in front of her.

crystal stares at it, a faint blush creeping up her face. she hadn’t blown out a birthday candle in years. it feels…childish. silly. but as she sees the faces of her friends — genuine and warm — it doesn't feel that way at all.

“...thank you everyone” she says, her own smile beginning to form.

“make a wish!” vasco exclaims, clapping his hands excitedly.

she hesitantly leans in, closing her eyes, before blowing out the candle. the group erupts into cheers, and for the first time in ages, crystal laughs. a real, unguarded laugh.

as they settle in together, sharing stories and cake, crystal feels the weight on her chest begin to lift. she hadn’t realised how much she’d missed this —missed them.

towards the end of the celebration, as they begin cleaning up, daniel leans over to her. “we want to remind you” he says softly, “that you’re not alone crystal. we’re here for you”

she doesn't respond right away, the words settling in deep. he didn't even mention her father. no "we're sorry for your loss" or anything. just those kind words.

“thanks daniel” she says quietly.

as crystal walks home, the gift bag dangles from her fingers, a tangible reminder of today's events. her heart feels lighter, though confusion still lingers at the edges.

she didn’t confide in anyone about her grief. it's not like she doesn't trust them. she just doesn't know how. she never felt particularly close to them, or to anyone, really. relationships had always felt…conditional, built on utility or convenience. that's the world she grew up in.

and yet, they had gone through all this trouble for her. for her birthday. a day she hadn’t even thought worth celebrating.

she frowns, her grip tightening slightly on the bag. why? what did she do to deserve this kind of effort? she hadn’t been much of a friend lately. she pushed them away, didn't respond to messages, and holed herself up at home. she didn’t ask for their help. she didn’t expect it. and still, they’d shown up.

none of them can possibly comprehend the life she lives — the weight of being charles choi’s daughter, the expectations, the secrets, the overwhelming sense of isolation.

...and her two bodies. something she can never confess. how can anyone understand what it feels like to live two lives in one?

her gaze falls to the pavement, her steps slowing.

but then, maybe they don't need to understand.

maybe it doesn't matter if they can’t grasp the complexities of her life, or the bizarre, otherworldly reality of her two forms. because today, none of that matters. they had been there, not because they know her struggles, but because they care. they had shown up with balloons and cake and awkward, heartfelt words, and it had been enough to soothe the ache in her chest.

her lips curl into a small, reluctant smile.

maybe their kindness doesn’t have to be earned. maybe it doesn't have to come from a place of understanding. maybe it's enough for it to be freely given.

crystal glances up at the darkening sky.

for the first time in a long while, the silence doesn't feel so suffocating.

A/N: i will never forgive ptj for sidelining crystal like this. her new appearances better be GOOD.

divider: @thecutestgrotto

[magicalrocketships]

You talked in the author's note about having more thoughts on Max's sexuality in Breaking every rule for you. I'd love to hear more about that, if you want to? 🤍

Oh, thank you for asking!! I did a whole disassociation thing after I posted the last chapter and I was like "it's very important to reply to comments and asks about this fic which meant a lot to me to write and to receive" and then I simultaneously thought orrrrr, alternatively, you can keep putting that off because you won't be able to properly tell people how much all the comments and asks meant. Anyway, that's a perfectly sensible series of thoughts to have, which brings me to this ask.

So, Max in Breaking Every Rule For You. This is half brain-dump, half director's cut of Max's POV. Either way, I accidentally wrote 3000 words about my beloved, feral Max. Sorry? Not sorry. I'll always want to talk about him 🧡🧡

He has literally no conception of this (and neither does Daniel), but he's very much on the asexual spectrum. He's demisexual, which is a word he's never heard and wouldn't know to use even if he had. 

He continues to tell the truth about his experience of life, but Daniel doesn't know enough to understand what Max is accidentally telling him, and Max doesn't know that his experience isn't universal. So! This fic is basically Max experiencing sexual attraction for the first time.

OBVIOUSLY this does not excuse Max behaving monstrously to Zoe and being hopelessly cruel to Daniel. He is, however, experiencing a lot of stuff for the first time and he didn't know! That he could feel like this! He is horny about someone else for the first time in his life! He'd be feral anyway, and he and Daniel stay completely feral after the fic's done and long into the future, feral and horny and all over each other, but there's this whole extra layer to it that's just Max being like... you can feel like this about another person? You can want someone THIS MUCH? You can want to fuck and come and kiss and touch another human being? Everybody in the world isn't lying about wanting it?

So on the one hand you've got Daniel's much more linear experience of oh, fuck, I've been bisexual all along, and the person who's opened my eyes about it is Max, what does this mean for my life and am I allowed to have something with Max for the longer term? In contrast to Max being so fucking thirsty to experience all of these things he's wanting for the first time, and barely understanding what it is he's wanting and the impact on the lives of the people around him who love him. He's so fucking needy and he barely understands the reasoning behind that, but that's partly why he keeps bringing Daniel back and reminding him of everything he's promised, everything Max is dying to experience but hasn't yet.

Even like, right back at the beginning when Max wants pictures of Daniel, it's because he's literally never felt attraction to another person. He's never looked at someone's body and wanted to touch it (or, in Max's case, to come all over him over and and over again and make him fucking filthy and his and have him show Max how he touches himself and how he looks soft and hard and horny and everything in between).

And all the things he wants to do to Daniel, he's never done to anyone else because he was horny about it. Everything he's done is because he thought he should, because he thought everyone was faking it when they said they were horny for touching other people. He can't slow himself down. He wants all of it. And then he'll do things like just warm Daniel's dick because he didn't know it felt good, and it feels so good.

On the other hand, Max has a fixed conception of love and relationships and they are work. They are a job. He has had girlfriends because he was supposed to have girlfriends and he's literally not figured out he's gay because he's not been close to a man long enough for attraction to develop, and with Max it takes a lonnnnng time, he's known Daniel for years and it's only been in the past few months it's started to change how he feels about him, ever since Daniel said he was going to leave and Max realised he not only wanted him to stay, he wanted him. And he doesn't want what he has with Daniel (something good) to crossover into relationship (something bad, something that's work, something that's always been a to-do list item) because then it will be bad. Max is getting every single thing he wants for the very first time in his life, of course he wants to keep things exactly how they are and ringfence this space in his life where Daniel is and he's getting everything he wants. The downside is that it's horribly cruel, but he doesn't entirely understand that, because he doesn't entirely understand either how he feels or how Daniel feels, and because he thinks that what he experiences is the universal, which is that relationships and love are bad and work. 

I kind of love that Max at the beginning isn't a great kisser - Max kisses like he jerks off, fierce and unimaginative. A race to the finish line. One day Daniel will make him slow it down. And part of that is literally because he's never enjoyed it before. He's never kissed anyone he wanted to have kiss him back.

But also, Max loves to jerk off. He loves to jerk off. Masturbation is the one thing he's always loved to do, because he's never been low on sexual desire, just attraction. He's jerked off thinking about Daniel before, too. Even before being really attracted to him. It's sort of why he wants Daniel in his bed, not because it's where he shares with Zoe when she's in Monaco, but because it's where Max jerks off, which is the one hugely positive sexual thing he's ever had in his life. Yeah, there's also some kind of "having a girlfriend is boring and work and I'm beating the system by having a better time in the space where that boring work happens" but Max isn't pre-meditiatively cruel in this. His cruelty is a by-product. 

Also: Max doesn't know that things can be better than what he has. 

He's barely managed to get his shirt off before Max is launching himself at him, making some Max-like attempt at human touch by cupping Daniel's face in his hands and pressing their mouths together. It's not romantic. It's not anything, other than fast, and maybe a little furious.

"You talked about kissing me," Max says, pulling away just enough that Daniel can feel the heat of his breath against his mouth. He's still cupping Daniel's face, and Daniel wants to cover Max's hands with his own and keep him there, make him stay still, make time slow down for them just this fucking once. "You said you thought about it. Kissing me. I've never kissed anyone like that, Daniel. I want it."

Max is telling Daniel the truth but Daniel doesn't pick up on it. Max hasn't ever kissed anyone like this before. And he wants it. 

Daniel spends a lot of time thinking about Zoe. Max doesn't think about her at all. He buys Daniel gifts because he's wild about him, because he needs to, like, put some of what he's feeling out into the world but he just— doesn't know how to do it. He's overflowing with it. 

"Think all the time about kissing you," Max tells him, still kneeling over him, leaning in so that he can mouth at Daniel's neck, kiss him so that Daniel will have a fucking love bite he'll have to cover with concealer if he wants to leave the house. Daniel doesn't stop him. Max can mark him up any way he wants. Daniel will take any scrap he can get. People shouldn't live off scraps, but Daniel will take anything Max throws at him. He'll judge himself later. "You have a good mouth, Daniel, I think about it so much." He kisses Daniel's jaw, along the line of it, over his stubble and up to his ear. It is not foreplay. It is just Max, taking what he wants. Daniel giving it because he wants the whole fucking lot of it and to drown in it afterwards. Better drown than starve. Max kisses his cheek, the corner of his mouth. Once, twice. The side of his nose. Is this Max, trying to be gentle with him? Trying to give something he normally only takes?

And then Daniel changes things, he tries to break up with Max and Max goes insane with it. For Max, Daniel really is ruining things. He is being a stupid motherfucker. This really is just sex because Max doesn't know how to understand what he's feeling. And he doesn't want to feel! Feeling is bad. He keeps trying to make the feelings stop. Of course Max just keeps trying to take things back to the space where things were working, because he wants it so much. Of course he's jealous, because he's fucking feral and a mess and he has no idea how to feel things like a real boy, because he never fucking has, and how he feels about Daniel is really fucking easy if only he knew how to identify or name any of the feelings he's feeling. 

So yeah: Max is heartbroken for the first time in his life, but he also just doesn't understand it. His chest hurts. He wants Daniel back in the space where it was all working. Daniel isn't the stupid motherfucker, Max is, for not managing to keep it so that Daniel would still kiss him and want him and touch him and text him, and Max is for not being able to stop himself from feeling stuff he doesn't understand. And then Zoe goes, and he doesn't feel anything. Not really. The only thing he's thinking about is Daniel. And then you get Max's entirely pragmatic, ruthless side, whereby he just makes sure Daniel is safe. He pays whatever he needs to pay to make sure Zoe is satisfied. He tells her the truth about not feeling about her the way he feels about Daniel. He doesn't mean to be cruel. It's a by-product again. It still is hopelessly cruel. He still only wants Daniel. He's the stupid motherfucker, not Daniel. 

And all the time, Max thinking he can get Daniel back to what they had before if only he keep trying. He knows Daniel wants him back. And he thinks he's getting it. He thinks he's getting Daniel back. It's want like he's never wanted. He thinks he's managed it, and then Daniel just— shuts him down. And Max just… breaks. It takes him by surprise as much as it takes Daniel when he sees Max crying, like he's crying and he didn't mean to start but he also can't stop. He loves him. That's what this is. 

"You are not listening," Max says, wiping his tears on his shoulder. "All of this time I am trying and I am trying not to want you and not to feel things but it did not work and I do and I did and I feel it in here and it won't stop." He presses the side of his fist to his chest, like Max is referring to his own fucking heart, which he can't be, because Max is Max, and Max doesn't feel anything, and he doesn't fucking feel anything for Daniel. "It is not fair that you won't listen. Always I am asking how do I make it stop, because you are just supposed to be sex, you are dick and that is for the dark and instead you are always just here, in my head and you have made me go mad thinking about you. Everything I do is very insane and it is all about you and my girlfriend left me and I do not care because she is not you and you tell me that you miss me too but now you are saying no when I want you more than I want anything and it is not okay."

It's the first time in his life he's ever been in love, and he's trying to make sense of it because he couldn't stop loving Daniel if he tried, but here's Daniel telling him he doesn't, and that he's stopped, and that is just— so far outside of Max's understanding. It's not fair and it's not okay and he doesn't know how Daniel could stop loving him if love is what he feels back for Daniel. 

And then he stays. He tells Daniel that no one kisses him like Daniel does. He says: "Nobody touches me like you do," Max says, which is probably a lie since Zoe loved him and wanted him and probably would have touched Max any way he wanted if he'd only told her. "Nobody, Daniel, nobody makes me feel like you do."

Daniel makes a soft, unholy noise in the back of his throat.

"It's true," Max says, urgently. "It is true."

Daniel doesn't realise how true. That no one has ever made Max feel or want like this. That this is the first time he's ever been attracted to someone. 

And for Max it's so clearly worlds apart from him and Zoe. They're not comparable. 

"She was my girlfriend," Max says. "But I didn't love her like I love you."

For a moment, Daniel's brain judders to a halt. It's felt like he's been on a constant spin cycle since last night, but for a moment, everything's still. "Yeah?"

"With you it is very different," Max says. "Everything is very different."

He keeps stroking the inside of Daniel's wrist. Daniel can't think of anything to say. He just watches Max touch him.

"Of course I kissed her, Daniel. She was my girlfriend. I did all the things you're supposed to do with your girlfriend. You cannot be tearing yourself up into knots about her when she is gone and you are here."

And

"I thought about your dick a lot. I thought I would like to see it. I jerked off and used my fingers and thought about you jerking off. I thought if I was going to suck a dick then it would be nice if it was yours."

"You had a girlfriend."

"Yes. I had everything I was supposed to want. Red Bull and Zoe and one day I will have my World Championship. But not you because you are a stupid motherfucker and you left me."

And Max loves jerking off. It's his favourite thing. 

But like, Max finally gets what he didn't know he wanted, which is more than just having sex at regular and irregular intervals, he gets a boyfriend, someone he can actually love and want to be with and it's all turning his conception of relationships and love upside down and he has to re-evaluate how that fits into his life, because relationships have been a boring part of work before, and now they're not, so he just has to… figure that shit out. 

This conversation where Daniel asks Max if he's gay: 

"Max," he says softly, after a minute. "Max, do you like girls?"

Max shifts on the pillow. He rolls his eyes. "Of course I do, Daniel, do not ask stupid questions. They are 50% of the population."

"I'm not—" Daniel searches Max's face. He wants to find something there that Max isn't showing him, some measure of understanding, of common ground beyond the fact that they're fucking and in love. "Do you like dating them?"

"I am dating you," Max says, as if he's talking to someone who barely understands English.

"Yes, but. Before. Did you like having sex with girls?"

"Zoe was my girlfriend. Of course I liked having sex with her."

This isn't Max just obfuscating. He hasn't defined himself as gay. He is, but he didn't necessarily— need to know it or define himself as such? It just wasn't important to him. He didn't really want to have sex with anyone so not wanting to have sex with girls less than him not wanting to have sex with guys he wasn't attracted to didn't matter so much? And now there's Daniel so it's even less of an issue because it turns out he can ferally cheat on Zoe for months and still not intend to ever be with anyone who isn't Daniel. 

Honestly it's more of a journey than Daniel will ever know to get Max to this: 

"I will do better," Max says, when there's nothing else coming, and Daniel's about to step out into the road. "I will learn, Daniel. To be a good boyfriend." 

It's not something he ever even considered before, and now not only does he want to, he's going to work on it too. 

Max smiles at him. He still fingers Daniel, because Max likes to multi-task and do it efficiently, but he lets his gaze rest on Daniel's. He looks happy. He looks so, so happy. "It has never been like this," he says, and Daniel doesn't say because you've been having sex with girls and you don't like them. He'll believe it's just about him. That Max feels like this about him and him alone.

Max telling the ultimate truth - it never has been like this, not a single element of it. Not kissing, not sex, not loving somebody else. Daniel doesn't entirely hear it, but then why would he? Even Max doesn't realise how much of a truth it is. 

"I always thought people were lying about kissing," Max says, without moving or looking at him or anything. "It was so boring. Everyone had to be lying. Nobody could like it unless they liked boring things."

What the fuck.

"So boring," Max says. He still doesn't move or look at him "Sex was boring too. I didn't know why anybody went out of their way when they could just jerk off. Masturbating was so much better than sex, Daniel."

Christ. Daniel's fingers twitch in Max's. "Did you ever think that was because you didn't like girls? And you kept having sex with them?"

"Eh," Max says, and shrugs. "I kissed boys too. Two of them. It was still boring."

Daniel's never thought sex was boring. He's liked it pretty much every time he's had it. He's been kissing girls since he was 14 and could make them laugh enough to kiss him over bags of crisps after school. He thinks about the two boys Max has kissed. What he did with them. When it was. Who it was. If he really thought it was awful. "Do you still think it's boring?"

Max shifts at that, twisting so he can look up at Daniel with the most insulted, don't be fucking stupid look on his face. "I have just licked my come out of your ass, Daniel. I want to have sex with you all the time. All of the things I jerked off thinking about doing I want to do with you. I want to kiss you forever."

Anyway. TL;DR, Max is demisexual and is new to sexual attraction and wouldn't be able to label himself as that if somebody paid him. 

[persevereforahappyending]

Maybe in Another Life |8|

Pairing: Clarisse La Rue x Hunter of Artemis!Reader

Summary: You are a Hunter of Artemis, but you start to question what you truly want when you meet Clarisse and get to know her.

Warnings: Slight Titans Curse Spoilers

Word Count: 2.2k+

Main Masterlist | Series Masterlist

ch. 1 | ch. 2 | ch. 3 | ch. 4 | ch. 5 | ch. 6 | ch. 7 | ch. 8 | ch. 9 | ch. 10 | ch. 11 | ch. 12 | ch. 13 | ch. 14 | ch. 15 | ch. 16 | ch. 17

You trekked through the woods with your sisters until Artemis decided on a spot to settle for the night. It had been about two months since you left Camp Half-Blood, since you last saw Clarisse, since Zoe died and Thalia joined the Hunters, taking her place as lieutenant. You threw yourself into the Hunt as much as possible, focusing only on what you needed to. It didn’t work, you were still reminded of Zoe’s loss every time you looked up at the night sky. You thought the distance from Clarisse would kill your crush, if you weren’t seeing her every day and spending time with her, you figured your newly developing feelings would be quickly snuffed out and everything would go back to the way it was, you were wrong about that as well.

You should have known grieving Zoe wouldn’t be as quick as the others. Losing a sister was always hard, losing the person who’s been by your side for a thousand years, that pain was indescribable. You took risks during hunts, cutting it close a few times, a lot closer than necessary. All because you took chances Zoe would have never let you take.

Everyone handled grief differently, some moved on quicker, some, like you, were still dealing with the loss just as hard a few months later. Even in a group of Hunters, that traveled together, lived together, and were around each other every day, all grieved differently. A lot of your sisters came together, spending more time together and just appreciating each other more. You were the opposite, distancing yourself as much as possible. You’d still train with them, you could still work flawlessly as a team, but you didn’t talk to them, not really. Thalia was similar to you; she was clearly grieving Zoë as well. She was also still getting used to the whole Hunter thing, she was a natural leader but some of your traditions, you guess could call them that, she was still learning.

You helped your sisters unpack, setting up each of the tents around where the campfire would go. A few of your sisters were already in position around various points of the campsite to keep watch for the night. When everything was unpacked, and your sisters started gathering around the campfire next to Artemis, you made yourself scarce. You caught Thalia’s eye and gave her a nod to let her know you’d be back. She watched you for a second before returning the nod, redirecting her attention back to Artemis who she sat beside. You knew Thalia had questions or thoughts on what you did but she never questioned you, you appreciated that, you didn’t have anything to hide but you didn’t feel like discussing these things with her.

You made your way through the woods, the chatter of your goddess and sisters getting quiet the more distance you put between you and them. You smiled when you came upon the creek you had been anxious to get to. The trees opened up around the creek, revealing the night sky in its entirety. You looked up, your eyes instantly finding Zoe’s constellation. You sighed, before pulling out a gold drachma and your little mirror that helped you make a rainbow almost anytime you wanted.

You said your little prayer to Iris and tossed your gold drachma into the rainbow. It was only a few seconds before Clarisse’s face appeared in the rainbow. “Hey,” you said, smiling.

You and Clarisse had Iris messaged each other every week since you left camp. Usually multiple times a week, there were weeks you talked every day. You could only talk to her when you guys were making camp or taking a break, so communication was more on your front than hers, but she always answered. You always tried to give her a good idea when you’d be able to contact her again or when you knew you’d be out all night and wouldn’t have time. Your talks were a nice break from the day to day of hunting and failing to find what you were looking for; besides, it was just nice to talk to her still.

“Hey,” Clarisse greeted. “How’s the hunt going?”

You let out a tired sigh, despite immortality and all the other perks of being a Hunter, you could still get exhausted. “That good?” Clarisse chuckled.

“Castellan really knows how to hide,” you mumbled. “Not that he deserves the credit, he is having quite a bit of help.”

You didn’t know all the details about what happened on the quest, all you knew was that despite what Percy originally thought, Luke was still alive. When you and the other Hunters caught up with Artemis again, she informed all of you that your new mission would be tracking Luke, anyone working with him, and gathering whatever information you could. Despite the years of experience Luke had the help of Kronos, the monsters, and who knew how many others. Every time you guys got a lead Luke was already gone, days ahead of you.

“We made camp for the night,” you sighed. “It kind of reminds me of your spot.” You looked around at your surroundings, there was a stream under the moonlight, surrounded by trees. You could almost believe you were back at Camp Half-Blood, except for the fact that you were in a different state hundreds of miles away.

“How are things there?” you asked.

“Well, Jackson’s gone, so it’s been nice,” Clarisse stated plainly. You couldn’t help but chuckle at that. “Annabeth and I have been working on something.” A smirk appeared on her face.

“You and Annabeth are friends now?” you raised an eyebrow.

Clarisse was quick to scoff. “Let’s not go that far.”

“Oh, that’s right you don’t have friends,” you said, laughing at your own joke.

Clarisse made sure to flip you off and throw a glare that would intimidate most people through an iris message. Good thing you weren’t most people, and you found her glares harmless, they were actually almost adorable.

“What have you and Annabeth been working on?” You questioned when your laughter died down. If Clarisse was working with Annabeth on something, then it had to be important.

“I can’t tell you,” Clarisse said, giving you an apologetic look. You tilted your head at that, there wasn’t much Clarisse would keep secret from you unless it was absolutely important. “But I’ll be going on a secret mission in a few days so I might be unavailable.”

That made your heart drop and not just because you might not be able to talk with Clarisse. That uneasy feeling you got when Zoe was given her last quest came over you. It wasn’t as strong or as dire as the one with Zoe, but a little red warning light was going off in your head. You weren’t sure why, demigods went on quests all the time and Clarisse was more than capable, maybe you were reading too much into it because of your feelings for the daughter of Ares.

You had expected your feelings for the Ares girl to disappear after getting away from her, but it seemed with each passing day you only fell deeper. Every conversation, every new thing you learned about her, made you like her even more. There weren’t many people you could talk to for hours, but she was one, you didn’t even have to talk, even during an iris message the two of you could sit in silence and be comfortable.

“Who’s going with you on your quest?” You questioned. “Annabeth? That what the two of you are working on?”

“Actually…” she started. You scrunched your eyebrow when you saw Clarisse avoiding eye contact, which she never did. “It’s not an official quest.”

That sent a shiver down your spine, making you stand straighter. The only time campers left camp was when they were part timers and were going home for the school year or when they were going on a quest. Chiron never let campers wander out otherwise, it was much too dangerous for a demigod.

“What?” Your voice sounded hollow as you asked, already knowing you wouldn’t like whatever she said next.

“It’s a scouting mission,” Clarisse said. “Chiron asked for me specifically.” She gave you an apologetic smile, she clearly knew the risk of this mission but even through the iris message you could see the pride in her eyes.

“And Annabeth’s going with you?” you knew you were grasping for straws, but you had to hold onto the little bit of hope you had.

“No,” Clarisse admitted, straightening her back. “This is a solo mission.”

You looked to the ground, nodding your head. “Not going to wish me luck?” Clarisse joked, giving you her usual arrogant smile.

You couldn’t help but smile, lightly chuckling. “Luck is for losers,” you said. “Just…” you sighed, looking up at the sky, your smile sure didn’t last long. “Stay alive.” You looked Clarisse right in the eyes. You knew you shouldn’t ask that.

“I promise.” You knew she shouldn’t promise that.

Demigods should never promise to stay alive; it was nearly an impossible task. Demigods were created to go on quests, to run errands for the gods, to fight their wars, and to die in their name. If Chiron was sending a camper on a mission, that couldn’t even be classified as an official quest, alone, you knew it must be of the utmost importance. You didn’t know Annabeth very well, just that you liked her more than Percy and Thalia. You also knew she was smart and if she was involved in helping set up the scouting mission then you had to assume the mission wasn’t meant to be dangerous. Not that that mattered, every mission and quest for a demigod was dangerous, just walking down the street could be the death of them.

“How’s the princess doing?” Clarisse asked, breaking you out of your thoughts.

You chuckled, Clarisse had taken to calling Thalia princess and you couldn’t deny that there were certainly times she acted like a princess, though she also commanded like one as well. “I mean…” you started, glancing behind you when you heard branches breaking. “She’s capable but it’s not like she’s the best lieutenant we’ve ever had.”

“Rude,” Thalia said, walking up behind you but staying far enough back that she didn’t overstep into your and Clarisse’s conversation.

You couldn’t help but scoff. “You think you actually compare to Zoe?” you glanced back at her, raising an eyebrow.

Thalia rolled her eyes but raised her hands. “I have no notions of competing with Zoe.” You gave her a sad smile. You respected that though she might have taken over Zoe’s position, she was clearly not trying to replace Zoe, she understood you were all still grieving her. “Artemis wants you back.”

You nodded, watching as Zoe stepped further back, out of earshot of you and Clarisse. “Duty calls,” you said, looking back at Clarisse.

Clarisse nodded. “I shouldn’t be leaving on my mission for a few days, talk before then?”

“Of course,” you smiled as you both ended the call.

You sighed, you were going to talk to her at least one more time before her solo mission, hopefully. You were sure you’d be anxious until you got a call from her telling you she was back from the mission. You would happily listen to her recount the tales of her mission, exaggerating how heroic she was in whatever she was meant to be doing, you would listen to her for hours if it meant she returned alive.

“You two seem to have gotten close,” Thalia commented as the two of you made your way back to the campsite.

“We’re friends,” you mumbled, shrugging off the nerves you got at someone else noticing how much you seemed to care for Clarisse.

“Annabeth’s my best friend and even I don’t talk to her that much,” she mumbled.

“What are you implying?” you spun around, pulling her back by the arm.

You kept your gaze firm as you glared at her. You hadn’t broken your oath, but you weren’t sure you could deny your evolving feelings for the daughter of Ares if someone directly asked about them. You swallowed as you saw Thalia’s eyes scan over your face, widening slightly, the only reason you noticed was because you were inches from her.

“Nothing,” Thalia said, shaking her head. You frowned when she took a step back from you, Thalia never backed down and it was clear she had something to say. She pushed past you to walk back up the hill. “There’s nothing wrong with your friendship with Clarisse,” she turned her head just enough to barely glance back at you.

You watched her walk back up the hill. You couldn’t help but feel like there was a second meaning to Thalia’s words. You shook off the tense encounter before following her up the hill. The fire with all your sisters gathered around quickly came into view. Thalia took her seat at Artemis’s side. You took your place on the other side of Artemis, this was where you belonged, you needed to focus on the current objective and not worry about Clarisse. Who knew, maybe no contact for however long her mission took would do you some good, maybe your little crush on her would finally die.

Taglist: @cxcilla @touchmyfracturedomens @luclue @manu-007s-world

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

Every Episode of Miraculous Ladybug Season 5 Ranked (Part 2)

Part 1

(This site's stupid 30 images per post forced me to do this, so thanks for nothing, Tumblr)

#14: Transmission

I swear, I'm not doing these on purpose. This is just how I've been ranking the episodes.

Like I said in the last part, this episode just did not need to happen. The first half is cheap melodrama between Marinette and Adrien and the second half is a run of the mill Akuma fight with two different heroes. This is the story that seriously warranted two parts this season?

I just can't stand the fact that Marinette and Adrien gave up their Miraculous so easily here. Maybe if it was Season 2, Season 3 at the latest, I'd buy it, but near the middle of Season 5? They honestly view their love lives as more important than the battle with Monarch. If it was anything else like the stress or physical danger, I'd also be understanding, but Tikki and Plagg decide that Marinette and Adrien are so miserable that they need to be happy by losing their Miraculous without a fight. Remember, this was just two episodes after “Reunion”, which showed Joan of Arc was a Miraculous holder. So fighting in the Hundred Years' War didn't get so much as an ounce of concern from Tikki, but teenage angst is too much for her little heart to bear?

Maybe it's the benefit of knowing this won't be permanent, but the issue I have is how much the show draws this out for so long, as if the audience is supposed to buy it. “It's really happening, guys! Ladybug and Cat Noir won't be the stars anymore, we swear!” This kind of plot can work under the right circumstances. All you needed to do is at the very least, make it something they choose to do instead of their Kwamis taking their Miraculous away so we can see them weigh the benefits of giving up life as a superhero in ways that aren't exclusively about their love lives. I'd even buy it if it's something Ladybug and Cat Noir actually agreed on before quitting.

While I can sort of get Alya becoming Scarabella due to her experience with the Ladybug (even if she chose to give up using any Miraculous at the end of Season 4), Zoe getting the Cat just feels like the writers put a bunch of names in a hat and picked hers. The two just don't have as compelling a dynamic as Ladybug and Cat Noir do, because they don't get a lot of time to know each other. Alya and Zoe have almost never interact with each other, so the masks don't really shake up their relationship, because there's no relationship to speak of.

Also, the Akuma here was really forced. We know nothing about this new character while the show acts like we're supposed to know who he is based on some minor hints with Nora calling earlier. While I will give the show credit for arguably giving us the most powerful Akuma of all time due to being both a man and a bear, he's as forgettable as a villain as Kitty Noire is as a hero.

Just about nobody here comes out smelling like roses in this episode. The Kwamis are morons for caring about one ship becoming canon, Marinette and Adrien are selfish cowards for giving up their Miraculous with little hesitation, their friends are ignorant buffoons for thinking some random attempt to get Marinette and Adrien to talk will somehow seal the deal, and Alya and Zoe are idiots for not thinking that they should take off the shiny ring that tracks their every movement. It's a terrible episode, and the only reason why “Deflagration” is ranked higher is because it didn't irritate me as much as this one did.

#15: Determination

And now we're onto the really bad episodes this season.

This episode is pretty much what you've come to expect by Season 5. People keep forcing Marinette into situations she's clearly uncomfortable, and we're supposed to just laugh at her anxiety, because we still have eight episodes to go before the show decides to take her mental health seriously.

What makes this episode really sting for me is that it's Luka and Kagami that are forcing Marinette into these unfunny antics this time. For the most part, they never really stooped to this level and didn't try to force anything with their respective love interests until they had trouble in their relationships that required them to communicate. But now, even though one knows Marinette and Adrien are superheroes while the other is usually very blunt with her feelings (at least, before she became this season's next victim), they're going to try forcing Marinette and Adrien to spend time together even they both know they have feelings for each other and MY GOD, THIS IS SO STUPID! It's just a cheap excuse for more pointless shenanigans that stopped being funny years ago.

Yet somehow, that's not the worst of the Love Square drama this episode. It's here where we learn that Adrien fell in love with Marinette over a season ago, during a scene where she violated his personal space. In addition, Adrien somehow showed no signs of attraction to Marinette until the plot demanded it, and came right after another episode showing him falling for her. Why not make it the fake confession Marinette practiced with Cat Noir in “Glaciator 2”? The kiss Marinette gave Adrien at the end of “Heroes' Day”? I'd even take another umbrella scene callback like in “Mr. Pigeon 72”. But no, it's the statue scene that the writers decided on. It's like they noticed all the criticism Marinette got in that episode and were like “Joke's on you! Adrien actually liked being lusted over like an object!”.

And then the masks come on and make things even more convoluted. Adrien at least got to reflect on the events of a previous episode to explain his new feelings for Marinette, but what caused Ladybug to suddenly fall for Cat Noir after four seasons?

The writers don't even bother with an explanation for this. Ladybug spontaneously becomes attracted to Cat Noir with absolutely no foreshadowing, buildup, or even callbacks to earlier episodes. The writers either wanted to complicate things one last time before Adrienette became canon, they wanted to bury the Ladynoir conflict arc from last season in the sand, or the most likely option, a combination of both.

The idea of the public turning on Ladybug was an interesting one to take, seeing how she's been universally beloved for the past four seasons. But despite hinting at it in “Multiplication”, this is the farthest is goes, and even then, guess who's behind it? You can't keep raising points against the main characters if it's only Chloe who does it. It doesn't open debate on the story and essentially tells the audience that they're wrong to agree with her, no matter what kind of point she makes.

As dumb as the way it happened was, Ladybug still screwed up and endangered the city by losing the other Miraculous, but we can't actually challenge children by acknowledging that the hero actually did something wrong and needs to grow as a person. We need to use a recurring character as a strawman to tell the audience that only bad people think this way! Way to remove any interesting internal conflict, writers.

The Akuma was pretty weak, just being an older Puppeteer, down to using wax statues like what happened in “Puppeteer 2”. The army of wax heroes could have been interesting, but there wasn't enough time to do much with the idea. The one thing I liked was how the Ox Miraculous' Resistance was used. It felt like an upgrade instead of a core power Manipula got.

This episode pretty much set the stage for a new level of frustrating Love Square drama this season, and it was one of the season's first outright awful episodes.

#16: Conformation

The only reason this episode isn't at the bottom is because the rest of the ones on this list are far worse by comparison. Make of that what you will.

Like most season finales, this one continues the tradition of being better at buildup than actual execution. Gabriel's plan is pretty decent, even if it's just Heroes Day on a global scale. He utilizes his public influence and business skills to plan out a plan to get almost all of humanity working for him. While I don't like the Miraculized, I still think Gabriel being on top works here, especially since he's not going out into the field like the last three finales.

But other than an okay evil plan, this episode is still pretty bad. Marinette being infected with nightmare dust only happens to get her to the Agreste manor because the writers forgot that Marinette learned Gabriel was Monarch last episode. It could have been a decent way to up the stakes by showing Ladybug not being at 100%, but like everyone else, she just fights off the nightmare dust and doesn't have a single problem during her fight with Monarch. In general, the nightmare dust isn't really utilized well, only being an excuse to bring out the Miraculized. It doesn't impact everyone fighting off the Miraculized, and there's no lesson or theme about fear that's conveyed here.

Speaking of nightmare dust, I'm pretty sure the only reason why it was introduced in the first place was to bench Adrien, which is still easily one of the dumbest decisions the show has ever made. While everyone else had no problem resisting the nightmare dust, Adrien is just physically incapable of doing so because of some half-assed character arc the show pretended happened. So either Adrien got a more potent dosage of the nightmare dust, or Adrien's just too weak to actually overcome his fears. “Sandboy”? Never heard of it! The fact that the writers also tried to claim they were being subversive with fairy tale tropes and cliches didn't help, since it devalues Adrien as a character even further. He's not a superhero and Ladybug's closest ally. He's just some damsel in distress who needs to be saved. Let me just remind you, if the genders were reversed, this would not be seen as some bold move, but the same overused cliche trying to be something new.

I already talked about my problems with Nathalie in “Passion”, and the stuff she does here isn't really different. Despite enabling Gabriel for five seasons, the episode has the balls to act like Nathalie always had morals and is appalled by Gabriel planning to sacrifice someone to save his wife. Just remember, “Passion” established that Nathalie had a history as a treasure hunter, so this is like Indiana Jones not knowing what the Holy Grail does. Nathalie only got dumber than in “Passion” because she somehow thought she could take on a supervillain with nothing but a crossbow and a body that already has one foot in the grave. And just like Felix, Nathalie can't even apologize to Ladybug for the aiding and abetting a terrorist thing. Between Nathalie, Felix, and Gabriel, does using the Peacock Miraculous just make you an idiot?

While the buildup is decent, it's just not enough to really get audiences excited for the second part.

#17: Representation

This episode is yet another example of the show's double standards.

Without going into detail too much, this episode came right after “Revolution”, the one that essentially portrayed Audrey taking control of Chloe's life as a karmic punishment. What happens in this episode? We learn Felix's father literally took control of his life and it's portrayed as wrong as child abuse should be. That's why this episode is still better than “Revolution”. It at the very least understands how serious child abuse is, and tries to tell Felix's story with as much dignity as two teenagers in white onesies can have.

With that being said, there's a reason why this episode is as low as it is. The Sentimonster play used to tell Marinette about Felix is just so stupid. The sets and costumes look ridiculous, it's hard to take the story seriously with Felix and Kagami doing all the voices, and most of it is unnecessary since the whole point is to tell Marinette that Gabriel is Monarch... something that the writers decided she needed to find out on her own in the next episode. It comes across less like Felix trying to alert Ladybug to who Monarch really is and more like he's just trying to justify his own actions. Hell, the actual reason he decided to tell Marinette about Gabriel was because he and Kagami were worried about their own relationship being ruined by him. And yet somehow, Ladybug lets him on the team at the end of the season.

The stuff with Adrien was also pretty dumb. It's cheap fanservice that reminds the audience of Cat Blanc when none of the characters should know who Cat Blanc is. You can call him Anticat all you want, but everyone can see that he's just Cat Blanc with blue hair. It's bad enough that this was what all the times Cat Noir almost Cataclysming people this season was meant to lead up to, but this is pretty much the reason why Adrien is benched during the finale.

This episode really shows how desperate the writers are to make people take this show seriously by showing serious topics like genocide and child abuse, as if the show didn't already ignore the horrible implications previous episodes (like the very last one before this) raised and will continue to raise during the season finale. So much of the episode is just dark for the sake of being dark. It's nothing too horrifying for children, of course, but the issue is how obvious it is that the writers are trying to raise the stakes right before the season finale and show how mature the show's writing is. For lack of a better term, it's this show's equivalent to “Ow The Edge”.

#18: Revelation

Get ready for the episode where the writers abandon all attempts to be subtle and create an episode specifically to attack people who think Chloe isn't the most evil character on the show. Because how dare they be optimistic and try to see the good in people! What do they think this is, a kids' show?

While a big problem with the Lila episodes was how stupid the class is, this episode made it so Marinette got to join in on losing brain cells too. Despite outright admitting to neglecting her duties as class representative (as absurd as it is to be in charge of notifying teachers about student progress they should be aware of), we're supposed to agree with her for not telling her teacher about Chloe cheating. Not only does this make no sense since you'd think Marinette would want to see Chloe get punished, but her claiming that all Chloe does is abuse her privileges loses any point to it because Marinette admitted to not doing her job as class representative, making her just as lazy as Chloe and unintentionally helping her through not telling the teachers. And that's not even getting into how many times Marinette has broken the secret identity rule despite also being the one to enforce it the most as the Guardian.

If the episode at least admitted to Marinette having personal issues that prevented her from displaying any form of professionalism towards Chloe (especially since this episode takes place after “Derision”), that'd be fine. Sometimes, people just can't let bygones be bygones and let their emotions dictate how they handle things. If she willingly resigned from her position by admitting she was just as at fault for Chloe getting as far as she did with her cheating, that would have worked. Instead, the episode does the same things it did with Adrien for the last few seasons: Go out of its way to vindicate Marinette's complaining and never even consider the idea of her being wrong in the slightest.

It's also hilarious to see Ms. Bustier act like an actual teacher for once and plan to work with Chloe to help make up her missed work, but portray it as a bad thing because in Marinette's eyes, that's not a punishment. Since the school year is almost over, Chloe will have to attend summer school at best and be held back or even expelled at worst. How the hell does that not count as a punishment, Marinette?

And don't forget how she gets not one, but two separate scenes insulting people for being idealistic and not wanting to write off people as beyond saving, the second one being copied from Astruc's Twittter.

And remember, this was right before a string of episodes where characters were able to change their ways, including Sabrina (Chloe's accomplice), Andre (Chloe's enabler), and Gabriel (Chloe's supervillain contact). How the hell is Chloe the only one being written off as irredeemable when she didn't pull off any of her evil plans without help? You can still punish Chloe. All I want is for the other characters to be punished as well.

But let's talk about the main event for this episode: Lila. In one of the most confusing “twists” in the show's history, she's now an identity thief who lives with three different mothers. Why? Because the writers have no idea how to hype people up for her being the main villain for Season 6, so they think just making her mysterious for the sake of making her mysterious is enough to build her up as a villain. It's like the writers realized Lila had absolutely zero resources of her own, so they felt like they needed to establish her as an evil genius to compensate. “Who cares if there's no logical explanation for how she's gotten as far as she has despite constantly boasting about her celebrity connections in public? We have to make her vague and mysterious, damn it! It worked for Judas Traveller and Kaine, didn't it?”

This episode takes multiple shots at fans and tries to make Lila seem more compelling than she actually is. It feels more like damage control than an actual plot-relevant episode.

#19: Illusion

Want to see the main characters acting like idiots for almost a half-hour? No? Too bad!

So much of this episode's conflict, the characters trying to investigate a possible lead related to Monarch, comes from everyone making stupid decisions. Nino tries to get one of the most influencial men in Paris akumatized, talks about it in public, falls for his trick, and lets him into his secret alliance. This season really cemented his role as the Zapp Brannigan of Miraculous Ladybug with how incompetent he is. If you really want to start portraying Nino as a tactical genius, maybe you should actually show him doing something smart instead of getting outsmarted by obvious tricks.

Of course, the other characters aren't immune to Nino's stupidity either. Marinette, Adrien, and Alya just go along with his asinine plan to get Gabriel akumatized, never question his logic, and ultimately still go along with the Resistance despite how obnoxious their leader is. The worst part is Ladybug not recognizing her own partner being stung by Venom... when they're fighting someone with access to over a dozen Miraculous. I know Cat Noir was born with glass bones and paper skin, but I don't think he literally freezes in terror when he's scared. And of course, Ladybug never questions the tiny invisible men who stunned Cat Noir after this scene.

The cafeteria scene is something that should really be cited as an example of how terrible this show is with acknowledging continuity. You thought there would be some compelling drama discussing the secret identity rule and all the double standards it has? NOPE! It's a funny joke about how confusing the identity stuff is at this point. The fact that Nino somehow doesn't understand the concept of secret identities in this scene is yet another reason as to why he isn't even qualified to lead an anime club, much less a resistance against Monarch.

The idea of Monarch using an illusion to fight Ladybug and Cat Noir was an interesting one, but it still had some holes. For one thing, what if the two heroes can't dodge one of the illusion Collector's attacks? What if they're fast enough to try tying him up, only to dispel the illusion? The entire plan pretty much relies on the fact that Ladybug and Cat Noir are too slow to catch the Collector.

But one scene that has only become more questionable after the finale is Ladybug trying to reach through to the illusion Collector. Like several episodes this season, it comes across like the show is spitting on idealism and wanting to solve problems peacefully because Monarch tricked Ladybug into believing he willingly rejected an Akuma. Remember kids, if someone says they want to change, it's really a trick as part of an evil supervillain's plan to maintain his secret identity.

This episode is like a microcosm of everything wrong with Season 5. Poor morals, characters acting like idiots, shooting down any potential for plot development, and being told characters are right when their actions say otherwise.

#20: Confrontation

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the episode where the writers just gave up.

There is just so much that happens in this episode that the writers cram in. There's Marinette's “final” confrontation with Lila, the battle with Reflekta, Sabrina's redemption, Juleka's character development, Ms. Bustier's character development, Mr. Damocles' character development, and the reveal of Lila's true nature. I don't think I need to tell you that the writers struggle to make all of these plot threads work in less than a half-hour.

First off, Marinette and Lila. The previous episode implied that Marinette let Lila have this short-term victory because she had her own plan to expose her. This episode puts that plan into action. See, she has the genius idea of going along with submitting school application forms to Lila and Chloe with no actual countermeasure in place, waiting for Sabrina to have a sudden change of heart so they can work together to expose Lila and Chloe through a bathroom peephole. This is the kind of tactical intelligence that will be studied in the history books, let me tell you. There's just no weight to Marinette and Lila's final battle of wits because there isn't any. There's no series of gambits or scenarios that actually pit their minds against each other, so you don't get a lot of satisfaction from Marinette's triumph over Lila. It doesn't help that there's more focus on Sabrina than on Marinette, but I'll get to that later. Even the actual payoff is anti-climactic. Most of the class' apology to Marinette was deleted because Mr. Damocles using a Magical Charm shield was just too important to leave on the cutting room floor according to the writers.

This episode really shows just how Marinette's classmates are like NPCs in the Lila-centric stories. They don't second guess Lila's accusations due to their past experiences with Marinette, and as soon as Marinette's name is cleared, they instantly apologize to her and don't even think about how easily they were fooled by Lila and Chloe. The worst example is Alya, Marinette's confidant and someone who was trusted to temporarily use the Ladybug Miraculous last episode, falling for this and not trusting Marinette. My sister in Christ, your friend goes out and saves lives on a weekly basis at least. How can you fall for Lila's story? This is why I think the Lila episodes should have all been set pre-Season 4, so Alya falling for Lila's lies is a little more believable since she isn't already in on Marinette's biggest secret.

I also have to roll my eyes at how melodramatic the talk about everyone's “futures” is. Yes, I don't know a lot about the French education system (If there's anything I'm getting wrong here, don't hesitate to let me know), but I don't get why they're treating their high school choices like such a big deal. Maybe if it was college, I'd get it, but high school? Why can't you just transfer if it doesn't work out? But then again, this is the same show created by a man who thinks school uniforms are a sign of fascism.

THIS IS WHAT THOMAS ASTRUC ACTUALLY BELIEVES.

Speaking of futures, this episode also showed just how little the writers cared about Adrien at this point, with how a supposedly heartwaming moment is him having no plan in life other than Marinette. I know this might seem weird given my problem with him last season was his refusal to think about anyone but himself, but there's a difference between wanting someone to follow orders without complaining and giving them absolutely no motivation outside of their significant other. And once again, if you swap the genders, this becomes sexist as hell.

But the big problem comes in the form of how the side characters are utilized. I don't know why the writers decided to focus on developing characters like Sabrina, Juleka, Ms. Bustier, and Mr. Damocles with five episodes left in the season. This should have been done in earlier episodes, not in the middle of a major story arc. I'm just left not caring about the development because it takes away from the conflict between Marinette and Lila, to say nothing about how little Adrien and Alya contribute to the story.

To me, this episode feels like the writers had no idea how to make Marinette outsmarting Lila into an episode, so they crammed in all these half-assed character arcs to pad out the runtime. While “Revelation” personally upset me more, I personally think this is the worse episode of the two from a writing standpoint.

#21: Revolution

Given how often I've criticized the way Chloe has been handled over the years, I bet you're surprised that this one isn't at the bottom of the list. You'll be even more surprised to learn that I think Chloe is one of this episode's saving graces.

This episode (along with “Derision”) provide an example of the Chloe we should have gotten ever since Season 3 ended: A villain who's allowed to be a threat while still being funny. So much of the past two seasons have done nothing but portray Chloe as nothing but an incompetent joke, but here, near the end of the season, she's in a position of power and is taken seriously. The episode does a good job showing how tyrannical Chloe's rule as Mayor is while still making it funny and in-character for her. She uses her power on frivolous things because she's a teenage girl who doesn't understand the complicated issues that come with politics. It's also why her idea of punishment involves detention, because it's something she's more familiar with as someone in middle school. Of course, even the episode all about Chloe ruling Paris with an iron fist isn't stupid enough to actually let Chloe be a compelling antagonist. No, we need to constantly remind the audience that Chloe is being played, as if we're supposed to see her as nothing more than a pawn even though the show still wants us to see her as an irredeemable monster.

Putting aside that one speck of something interesting, this episode is still incredibly bad. So much of the story is dependent not on how smart the villains' plan is, but rather, how lazy the heroes are. Not only is there not a single moment where Ladybug and Cat Noir acknowledge that the whole reason why Chloe was able to take over as Mayor was their fault, they act as if Chloe abusing her power to make everyone's life a living hell isn't enough of a reason to stop her. What kind of Prime Directive bullshit is this? YOU JUST HELPED SOMEONE LEAD AN INSURRECTION AGAINST A POWERLESS CIVILIAN! HOW IS THIS ANY DIFFERENT?! If there was at least something involving Ladybug and Cat Noir taking responsibility for what happened or at least showing that they played a part in this (especially since they “grow up” in this episode), I'd get it. Instead, because this is Season 5, our heroes are perfection incarnate, and can't ever be wrong. Even when they finally decide to get off their asses and stop Chloe, they didn't know she was akumatized, and nobody seemed to care before Chloe blurted it out, so Ladybug and Cat Noir have no excuses for slacking off.

The final battle is just a joke. Not only is it another excuse to force the Resistance into the plot, it shows Ladybug and Cat Noir unlocking the full power of their Miraculous in the most anti-climactic way possible. Even though they spent most of the episode caring more about their personal lives than actually stopping the obvious threat, somehow, this means they “grew up”. There's no buildup, no explanation, and no catharsis gained from this achievement. All of a sudden, Ladybug and Cat Noir are adults now. There's one decent scene with Adrien, but that's far from an actual explanation. What, did you actually expect an explanation for something this huge? Too bad! We need to have Marinette tell Chloe she's not afraid of her anymore even though she was never afraid of her prior to this season. Of all the things that happened this season, this is the one that makes it clear that Season 5 was supposed to be the end. There is no way Season 6 can happen unless the writers come up with some crap that undoes this, because Ladybug and Cat Noir have essentially unlocked god mode.

But I saved the worst for last, and you all know what it is: Chloe's punishment. I still can't get over the fact that there's actually a scene heavily implying we're supposed to be happy Chloe is going to live with her emotionally abusive mother in the same season that's trying to tell a serious story about child abuse. There's already been so much said about all the horrible things this implies, so I'm going to try and bring up something else. Specifically, how everyone is just okay with this. I can buy Ladybug given all the things Chloe has done to her, but it's pretty odd that Cat Noir, Andre, and Zoe all decide to wash their hands of their association with Chloe as if they never knew her. They don't even feel bad that it had to come to this, and feel absolutely no sympathy for her. Remember in episodes like “Malediktator” and “Queen Banana” that showed Adrien and Zoe still cared for Chloe despite all the terrible things she's done, teaching kids a lesson about trying to show compassion to your enemies? The writers sure didn't, because Adrien and Zoe don't get to say a thing about Chloe after she's defeated. Way to establish connections between characters and do nothing with them, writers!

This episode had so many things wrong with it, and it only got worse the longer it went on, to the point where the ending is essentially condoning child abuse. It's disgusting, but at the very least, it means we're not going to have to deal with Chloe in Season 6.

.....

#22: Adoration

This is one of those episodes I honestly didn't think would hate as much as I did.

I think of all the episodes this season, this is the one that shows how frustratingly inconsistent the characterization is. Characters will either announce how much someone has changed or will take a complete 180 while the show makes it clear this is how things have always been. Not only does the show say Zoe has somehow changed and suddenly developed feelings for Marinette, but Chloe's view of Sabrina has gotten even lower, to the point where she calls her an underling to her face. Because actually showing character development and changing interpersonal relationships is too hard for these writers. It's like that rule everyone knows: Tell, don't show. That's how it goes, right?

Before anyone gets on my case about this, I'm not trying to say that Zoe having a crush on Marinette was a bad idea. The issue is more how it comes across like the show is trying to earn brownie points with LGBT+ audiences with the reveal. The issue is that this major revelation isn't about Zoe, but rather, Marinette. It's from a Marinette-focused episode all about her heterosexual feelings for Adrien while Zoe's coming out story is nothing more than a cautionary tale to get Marinette to finally try kissing Adrien. I'm not saying Marinette should have dumped Adrien to be with Zoe. The point I'm trying to make is if you want to show something as huge as a character coming out as sapphic, maybe put more focus on that character's struggles than the struggles the straight main character goes through. Maybe instead of being an afterthought in the story, make the episode about Marinette helping Zoe confess her feelings to a girl she likes.

This was also the episode that laid the groundwork for Andre and Sabrina's “redemption arcs”. Normally, I wouldn't mind something like them changing, but it's less to show a character becoming a better person and more to vilify a different character. Andre went from a corrupt politician who abuses his power to please his daughter to an honest politician who is forced to abuse his power to please his daughter. Sabrina went from Chloe's loyal friend who chooses to help her make people miserable to Chloe's underling who is being forced to help make people miserable. Both of them were perfectly willing to go along with Chloe's acts in the past, and as we saw in “Revolution”, being a pawn didn't excuse her from being punished, so by that logic, they shouldn't get a free pass either. It's also strange how this wasn't the episode where Andre and Sabrina officially cut ties with Chloe, considering they already had issues with them. There wasn't really a reason to wait if they already made their issues clear, especially Sabrina. Somehow framing Marinette here is okay but doing it a few episodes later is too much for her?

Also, Lila served no purpose in the episode. Just like in “Collusion” and “Revolution”, all she does is tell Chloe to do things she was perfectly capable of doing in earlier episodes. We're supposed to see her as a mastermind, but I don't get why she has to hold Chloe's hand here. Why can't Lila come up with her own plan or manipulate different people from behind the scenes? It only further highlights the double standards because while Sabrina being a lackey to Chloe earns her sympathy, Chloe being a lackey to Lila doesn't for some reason.

I am getting really tired of the whole “Nobody believes Marinette” formula that every Lila episode relies on (Chameleon, Ladybug, Risk, Revelation, Confrontation). It's the exact same story. Everyone who has known Marinette for the past four seasons suddenly loses all trust in her, only instead of instantly believing Lila, it's Chloe. CHLOE. This is worse than Lila, because she's at least in good graces with other people, but this is the same season that solidified the idea of nobody liking her at all. They seriously take her words at face value over Marinette, someone whose friends know has tormented her for a year at least (Derision)? Put aside how I feel about Chloe, this is a story that depends on trusting someone nobody has any reason to trust, and it makes no sense.

There are just so many minor issues in this episode that pile up enough to really piss me off. It's like a death by a thousand cuts.

#23: Collusion

I normally don't try to get political on this blog unless I absolutely have to, and talking about this episode is one of those occasions.

If you've been around since the early days of this blog, you'll remember that Astruc once compared Chloe to Donald Trump, and not too long after the January 6th attack on the Capitol Building at that.

Even before that thread, Astruc made a joke comparing Trump to Chloe less than a week after the attack.

Whether you agree with Astruc's views on Trump or not, the point is that he kept up with American politics and strongly opposes him. So anyway, let's get to the episode where the heroes let someone lead a small army to storm the mayor's office and force him to resign, which is totally different from what Trump did.

I cannot get over just how confusing this episode is. For a show created by someone who usually keeps up with American politics, this is such a tone-deaf episode. I get that the story is trying to lean into French history, and I'm not sure how far into production the crew was when the attack on the Capitol happened, but given how Astruc was aware of the drama, he and his team should have at least considered the implications this episode could raise. The problem with the discussion around January 6th is that the supporters see it in as righteous a light as Miss Sans-Culotte is. As far as they know, what happened wasn't a violent invasion of government property, but a peaceful demonstration. Sure, none of the talking balloons said “Hang Andre Bourgeois!”, but it still brings similar imagery to mind.

Something that also harms the French Revolution narrative is the fact that all of Miss Sans-Culotte's supporters are helping her against her will. Much like countless Akumas throughout the show's history (Darkblade, Kung Food, The Puppeteer, Princess Fragrance, Despair Bear, Befana, Zombizou, Malediktator, Gamer 2.0, Mr. Pigeon 72, Hack-San, Revelation, Confrontation), Miss Sans-Culotte brainwashes innocent civilians so they can help her cause. This goes against the idea that she's speaking for the people, because her victims don't have a say in this. She's not reenacting the French Revolution, she's reenacting Order 66!

Also, this is something I've neglected to discuss. Why make Miss Bustier pregnant at all, much less akumatize her while pregnant? Outside of her students telling Chloe not to make a scene because the stress caused from dealing that is bad for the baby, Ms. Bustier's pregnancy adds nothing to the story. Seriously, the story thinks Chloe annoying the class is more dangerous for Ms. Bustier's baby than Ms. Bustier herself running around and getting into fights with her baby inside. It could have made for some interesting drama where Ladybug and Cat Noir are hesitant to hurt a pregnant woman, even if she's been akumatized. While the writers do try to work around it by giving her minions to do the fighting (as much as it mucks up the themes of this episode), it still doesn't explain why she needed to be pregnant during this episode in the first place.

Putting aside how unlikable Miss Sans-Culotte is in this episode, you can't even enjoy seeing Andre getting kicked out of office because this is the same episode where the writers really want us to feel bad for him. Look at how sad the rich white politician is. Let's ignore the fact that he's a big part of the reason why Chloe is as bad as she is, has abused his power multiple times, and is all around the cause of his own problems. But even though this is a show that tries to take an anti-capitalist stance (which I'll get to more in “Emotion”), we're supposed to side with one of the biggest symbols of everything wrong with capitalism and political corruption. Even then, Andre is framed for corruption instead of the several instances he actually abused his power, as if they're trying to say he was never a corrupt man. He just loves his daughter. Is that too much to ask for? His daughter herself? Eh, who cares? You really need to support the rich white man. Are we sure this show was created by a liberal?

But the biggest issue is the moral. It's impossible to frame Miss Sans-Culotte storming the mayor's office as a peaceful protest because she's clearly inspired by one of the bloodiest and most violent revolutions in history. If she was supposed to be a violent warrior who needed to learn there was a better way, that would work, but instead, the show downplays how dangerous she is... when she has a guillotine blade for a weapon. You can't claim Miss Sans-Culotte is non-violently protesting Andre's administration when she brainwashes innocent civilians, storms into the building, and demands he resign without any question. Even taking all that into consideration, the moral ends up backfiring because forcing Andre out of office caused an even bigger problem with Chloe taking over, and the very next episode threw the non-violence message out the window.

Whether or not you want to consider the political implications here, this is still a terrible episode with a terrible moral.

#24: Pretension

I've always had issues with Felix, and after the trainwreck that was “Emotion”, let's just say this didn't exactly do anything to raise my opinion of him. Just like his other appearances for the last few seasons, he did absolutely nothing to help Ladybug, focused on only doing things that benefited him, and making everyone's lives worse due to his incompetence. And somehow, this idiot is the one who moves the plot along the most.

The entire conflict happened because Felix kidnapped Kagami without even coming up with a plan. Even when he believes that Kagami is a Sentimonster (I apologize for saying that word Felix hates, but once again, the show provides no alternative to it), he doesn't think of Tomoe being able to track her or command her to leave even at a far distance. He doesn't even try to explain himself to Ladybug and Cat Noir and spends more time running away from everyone who wants to kick his ass. But by the show's logic, he just needs friends, even though his entire deal is that he works alone to get what he wants.

It's bad enough that Felix has to screw up everything he touches, but now he's dragging Kagami to his level. Kagami has cemented her role as Felix's lackey/girlfriend and nothing more. People give Marinette crap for the way the behaves around Adrien in and out of universe, but Kagami knows nothing about Felix, yet a single conversation about his past is enough for her to fall head over heels in love with him. She went from someone not willing to take any bullcrap from Marinette and Adrien to believing Felix's story in a fraction of a heartbeat. This season really likes ruining the few likable characters the show has left.

I also have to roll my eyes at the conversation Marinette and Gabriel have about fashion. For one thing, it's one of the few times the entire season remembers that Marinette wants to be a fashion designer and doesn't really factor into her rivalry with Gabriel. This season made their conflict revolve around how to treat Adrien, not their views on fashion. It feels like they only brought it up to remind viewers that Marinette is still into fashion. Well, that, and also to take a stance on artistic integrity... supposedly.

And on that note, it's amazing how the writers display little to no self-awareness during this scene. The show that embraces sticking to the status quo and rejecting almost any attempt at keeping consistent continuity is now trying to teach children about the importance of being willing to take risks when creating something. This is like Hannibal Lecter trying to promote veganism. I get the message, but the messenger's history is keeping me from buying it. It doesn't help that for a scene trying to point out how outdated certain views are, the show ultimately chooses to take the side of the man with the “wrong” mindset by the end of the season.

The pancake metaphor really confuses me too. It's meant to be a running gag that the only thing Gabriel knows how to cook is pancakes, but A) Nothing is really indicated to show how terrible they are as a metaphor for how bad his outdated views are other than Marinette's verbal assessment of them, and B) We later learn Gabriel used to be poor, so either he never knew how to cook prior to earning his fortune or being rich somehow made him forget basic living skills. I'm just saying, when an episode of Sid the Science Kid manages to better convey someone doing a terrible job making pancakes, you might need to put in a little more effort to show how bad Gabriel's pancakes supposedly are.

Finally, Tomoe. This episode didn't really do much to show her as a compelling threat, given all she did was nag Gabriel and try to shoot her daughter when she didn't even try commanding her to fight back when she was kidnapped. She's nothing more than a female Gabriel and is another example of how overstuffed this show's cast is,

This episode is awful, plain and simple. It took aspects from previous episodes that were already questionable, and doubled down on them while acting like there weren't any problems at all.

#25: Derision

And now we're onto the really, REALLY bad episodes this season. One of the reasons why this post took so long to make was that I wasn't sure how to rank these last three episodes. Thankfully, I managed to find a way to rank them based on the morals are executed. With that being said, let's start scraping the bottom of the barrel.

Ah, “Derision”. You're the only episode that makes the backlash caused by “Chameleon” seem like a pleasant breeze. It's incredible to see just how much negative a reputation this episode has in the fandom. Virtually nobody likes it because it manages to upset everyone with its poor characterization. I'm talking Marinette fans, Adrien fans, Chloe fans, Kim fans, and pretty much every other character's fans. I've only seen a few die hard fans defend this episode, and they're the people on Tumblr who defend pretty much everything done this season.

I have just one question to ask about this episode: Why did it need to happen? We didn't learn anything new that we didn't know already. We know Chloe is mean, and we know Marinette used to be more timid and had no friends. We didn't even need that much of an explanation for why Marinette acts the way she does around Adrien, seeing how it was usually played for laughs

Speaking of which, let's talk about the fact that the episode tries to shame the audience for laughing at the jokes about Marinette's reactions to Adrien. You know, something that was the show's primary running gag ever since Season 1? A running gag the writers ran into the ground by the end of Season 3 but still chose to go with it? Now we're not supposed to have laughed at it, assuming we laughed at it all. Way to insult even the small portion of viewers who didn't get on your case about this, writers.

I only have about two positive things to say about this episode. For one thing, Chloe actually served as a pretty decent antagonist in the flashbacks. Much like in “Revolution”, when the writers actually let her be a villain on her own without being made a pawn, she can be somewhat entertaining. If this was the Chloe we got after Season 3, I don't I would have been as upset at the direction Astruc's team took with the character.

In addition, the thing that saves this episode from being at the bottom is that unlike the next two, it actually understands that what the antagonist did was wrong. They don't make up excuses for what Chloe did and she actually gets called out as a result. It doesn't lead to anything major, but it's something.

Like with “Queen Banana”, there's not much else I can say that hasn't already been said. There's plenty of retcons, the characterization for everyone is off, it attacks the audience, and the message about trauma got fumbled by the show's usual double standards. It's been said over and over again, and it's become a symbol of how much the show's quality has degraded.

#26: Emotion

I think if you've kept up with my reviews of this season, you should know by now that I don't exactly like Felix, and most of the problems I have with him can be attributed to this episode. In fact, for a while, this was going to be my choice for the bottom slot.

It's clear that the writers want to make Felix this wild card who's only in it for himself, but like most of the show's antagonists, they want to show Felix as this devious mastermind... but he's also not really evil, and you should feel bad for him. For most of the episode, Felix does nothing but make everyone's lives worse during his first outing as Argos. He smears his cousin's reputation yet again, tricks his girlfriend into dancing with him, condemns some rich kids for the crime of being rich when he's just as rich, and eventually wipes out all life on the face of the earth. But he's just doing it for his cousin, we swear!

While Felix has understandable motivations for what he does, wanting to free Adrien and Kagami, the way he tries to achieve his goal makes it hard to sympathize with him. If the whole point was that what he did was wrong and that he needs to find a different way, that could work. Instead, we're supposed to see him as this tragic figure who was forced to do terrible things when the episode shows him happily singing while causing chaos. It's the same problem with Gabriel, wanting a sympathetic character to do unapologetically evil things. The fact that he has to be told that genocide is bad doesn't make us want to sympathize with him when he breaks down crying. It paints a picture that he's crazy but the show wants to act like he isn't.

Even putting all the crap with Felix aside, the episode is still unbearable. The stuff with Marinette was poorly executed and was just done to get her involved in the plot, and later become the first one to excuse Felix for betraying her. Other than the dance scene, you could easily just have Marinette swing in as Ladybug when Argos starts his rampage and nothing would really change. The episode tries to make jokes about how unnecessary this is, but as usual, its attempts to be self-aware come across like its saying “What we're doing it wrong, we know it's wrong, but we're gonna do it anyway!”

Speaking of the dance scene, I can't stop rolling my eyes whenever Felix tries to be all “We live in a society” to Marinette. Forget the corrupt politicians, corporate moguls, human traffickers, and despotic rulers of foreign nations. The absolute worst section of humanity is composed of the teenage children of the 1%. Sure, you'd have to break my legs before I'd agree to supervise them at this party, but I don't get why these are the people we're supposed to see as irredeemable monsters. Do the writers think because these kids associate themselves with Chloe, we'll automatically hate them? Newsflash, but if I had to choose between hanging out with some annoying kids and a mass murderer, I'd stick with the annoying kids.

Rewatching this episode was what helped me finally realize just what my problem with the show's anti-capitalist message is. How the hell am I supposed to hate the villains on this show for being rich when several characters are rich or at the very least, are successful thanks to their connections to the rich? Think about it for a second. Putting aside Adrien and Kagami, you have Marinette, the daughter of two of the most popular bakers in Paris and earned the respect of multiple celebrities, Alya, the daughter of a chef who works at a five-star hotel, Nino, someone who got to DJ at a major fashion show, Rose, who is friends with a literal prince, Luka and Juleka, the children of a popular rock star, and Max, the son of an astronaut with access to cutting-edge technology. Somehow, these people are supposed to be poor? They make Monica from Friends look like Oscar the Grouch. It's why I can't take the message seriously. You can't write a story about a class struggle when both classes are shown to be pretty well-off.

The only thing that saves this episode from being at the bottom of the list is the fact that despite committing genocide while singing, Felix at least gets what he did was wrong and makes up for it. It doesn't fix everything else he did in this episode, but that's better than nothing. As for the villain featured in the episode that's at the bottom of this list? If you've been keeping track, I think you know who I mean.

#27: Re-Creation

I'll admit, I'm sort of cheating here. I'm judging this episode more as a finale than an individual episode, but I'm making an exception because the plot is tied to wrapping up all the loose ends this season.

I'm mentioning this because for a season finale, the stakes just feel so low. The fight between Bug Noire and Monarch doesn't have any weight to it because they've barely interacted at all for the last five seasons. These are supposed to be two mortal enemies, but you can't really buy the enmity between them. It ultimately cheapens the moment of Bug Noire triumphing over Monarch in the end... before Monarch triumphs over her not long afterwards, but we'll get to that.

The stuff with the Miraculized doesn't help either. We already know that the Ladybug and Cat Miraculous are in the Agreste manor, so the Miraculized's goal is impossible to achieve. It's never even explained why the Miraculized don't go back to the manor to help Monarch beat Bug Noire, since they should still be able to track the Miraculous. All of the fights with them just come across like filler, and there's no real sense of danger or hopelessness to be found. Whether the Miraculized win or lose is irrelevant. Nothing will happen either way because the important stuff is happening in the Agreste manor.

This extends to the part where all the heroes appear to help. It doesn't come across as an Avengers-esque moment for the climax, because it doesn't change anything. The episode never explains what any of these characters were doing prior to the events of this episode and why only now they're helping out. The United Heroes are the most egregious example because unlike Fei or Su-Han, they're a major organization whose members include the president, and they didn't do a damn thing when Monarch stole all of the other Miraculous. Speaking of, there is no way in hell that Su-Han taught Mirakung-Fu to three random people over Ladybug and Cat Noir, much less that those three people are actual masters after about two months at best. Maybe they got to train in Bunnix's Burrow? After all, she's not doing anything else to stop the end of the world other than sending four people over to Paris. This whole sequence really highlights how bland the other heroes of this universe are. If they're not slacking off when they're needed, they're criminally underdeveloped because there's a slim chance they'll get spin-offs to flesh them out.

But I think the biggest issue me and other people have with this finale is the resolution. In what is easily one of the most baffling decisions the show has made, Bug Noire doesn't defeat Monarch, and Monarch gets to make his wish. I don't care how many times the writers technically say she won because she beat him in a fight. Gabriel backstabbed her at the last minute and got her Miraculous to make his wish. Yeah, he died, but he succeed in achieving his goal, never faced any real consequences, didn't get any closure with his son (much less apologize for abusing him), told Marinette to lie about the monster he was to him, and was turned into a martyr with a statue made of the same things he used to control the world.

This ending infuriates me because it not only makes Marinette out to be a terrible hero for failing to do the one thing she was chosen to do (get the Butterfly Miraculous back), but it also ultimately makes Gabriel out to be a decent person even though he destroyed and recreated the world. All Marinette did was take credit for saving the world, and even then, Gabriel got more celebration in the end. Our hero, ladies and gentlemen! She got outsmarted by an abusive parent and didn't even get a new statue in her honor!

But the most damning thing of all this is the fact that this finale retroactively makes everything that's happened over the last five seasons completely pointless. If Gabriel making a wish wasn't as bad as it was supposed to be, why didn't Ladybug and Cat Noir let him borrow their Miraculous? Why make the stakes this high if you're going to downplay the impact of a madman recreating the world in his own image? Follow-up question: why make the stakes this high if the wish being made is ultimately shown to have huge benefits for society? In an attempt to wrap things up with a happy ending, the writers accidentally made the conflict completely meaningless.

That's why this resolution is the ultimate example of the writers refusing to allow any major changes to happen. If they're willing to treat the end of the universe as less important than Ms. Bustier becoming mayor, why should we assume they'll ever take their story seriously? For God's sake, every character you know and love is essentially dead, and we're supposed to act like that isn't a big deal? That's how you wanted to end the show originally? Then again, at least they tried to resolve something, unlike the Love Square. We still haven't gotten a reveal, and I don't think we ever will at this point. These writers will drag out the story until the show stops becoming profitable, which won't be for a long time.

And with that, I am officially done with Season 5. Honestly, after having to rewatch this season again, I'm not sure if it's even worth giving Season 6 a shot. There's nothing to look forward to, and Lila becoming the main villain isn't really appealing to me. At the very least, I have the movie review to look forward to, meaning I can watch something good for a change.

[mydearlybeloathed]

THAT HEROES OF OLYMPUS IMAGINE WAS SO GOOD FR like nil it reminded me of the eternals BUT PLEASE PRETTY PLEASE MAKE A PT2

𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: the eight get together for first time since Y/N's funeral, and it's a cause for some serious looks into their future.

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: allusions to leo x fem!reader, heroes of olympus x fem!reader

𝐚/𝐧: omg you're so right it is like the eternals AND THANKS SM 🥰

Christmas Eve hadn’t ever been so crowded, and honestly, Sally was a bit overwhelmed. Nevertheless, she'd never wish it any other way; her son was happy, and his wife was happy, so she was happy.

Besides, she wasn't stuck to the kitchen all alone. Estella and Paul were right at her side, and so were her grandchildren, Margot and Zoe.

Well, Margot and Zoe were fighting more than helping, spreading puffs of flour into the air with every punch and chokehold they threw out.

Sally let out a breath to calm herself as she very nearly dropped the tray of casserole due to their chase around the kitchen. Paul, who had gained a sense for Sally's temper, looked up form across the room and noticed the furrow of her brow as she squeezed her eyes shut.

"Girls," he snapped, snatching the rolling pin from Zoe and grabbing Margot by the back of her hoodie. "Please, take it outside."

Zoe, ever the oldest, nodded and dragged her sister out into the front yard. Hopefully, thought Paul, there wouldn't be a Christmas trip to the ER.

Further into the house, away from the stress of the kitchen, laughter rang throughout the house.

In the living room, sat around the hearth, were the eight Heroes of Olympus.

Hazel sat on the edge of the couch, every once in a while looking toward the kitchen she'd been thrown out of. Sally insisted she didn't need any more help, but Hazel couldn't help but feel the need to.

Annabeth and Percy sat on the rug, criss crossed and side by side as they thanked Hestia no arguments had yet to break out. It seemed things were finally getting back to how they used to be; that is, good.

On the couch, right next to Hazel, was Frank. There was a polite enough distance between them, but every once in while they'd lock eyes and smile. The conversation between them wasn't what they'd like it to be, but slowly, they felt the ice slowly begin to melt. Both were hoping for a second chance, but neither knew how to ask for it.

"You're still doing quests, right?" Hazel asked him.

He rubbed at the back of his neck. "Not really quests. A search party, more like. Searching for more demigods."

Her head tilted as she turned to face him. "How are you finding them?"

"Luck, mostly," he said. "It's just me and Lavinia right now. We're following monster patterns for the most part, as well as just going to Olympus and asking... well, asking for a roster."

Hazel laughed behind her hand. "A roster? For all the people they've, erm, been with?"

Nodding, Frank chuckled too. "It's effective."

On the other end sat Y/N and Leo, the latter completely captured by whatever the son of Hephestus said. His hands were quick as he worked with several gears and pieces of metal, not realizing as his friend got closer to his shoulder to watch what he was doing.

When he was done, he held up a tiny model dragon, which he handed to her before going on about all that had happened since last they talked, which had been some months ago, upon her crashing her own funeral.

Y/N grinned down at the dragon, setting it on her knee as she propped her arm on the back of the couch and rested her head there, eyes finding Leo's profile again as she hung on every word he said.

"What happened to Calypso," she asked in a moment of pause. She'd been wondering that for some time, even before her "death." She'd been on good terms with everyone during their decade of disagreement and had spoken to Leo every few years or so, and eventually, Calypso stopped showing up to their lunch get-togethers.

Y/N never had the nerve to bring her up, mostly because she didn't want to come off... the wrong type of way about it.

Leo blinked, not expecting that, and shifted to face her. "Oh. Uhm, we didn't work out." His lopsided grin turned melancholy. "Took me three years to figure that out."

"I'm sorry," she said, and she meant it. He'd been so happy with Calypso, and as much as that was hard to swallow, she wasn't about to put an end to that.

"Eh," Leo shrugged, noticing how her face had fallen. "It's fine. We're good now. Better as friends, I think."

The pair fell silent at that particular choice of words, an echo of a past they'd rather not bring up in their heads.

It hadn't been so long ago, to them at least, when they were sixteen, and better as friends had put some kind of impassable bridge between the close friends.

For some reason, they both reflected, sharing a brief glance, that bridge wasn't so impassable anymore.

On the soft armchair across from them were Piper and Shel. Piper had her legs thrown over Shel's, her upper body leaned against the side of the chair as she talked with Jason, who lay on his back on the floor. To her surprise, Shel and Jason got along really well.

"So you can fly?" Shel asked, a brow raised as she looked between her girlfriend and the son of Jupiter.

Jason sat up and nodded. "Yep."

Shel scoffed. "I don't believe you."

Piper and Jason shared a look, mischief in their eyes. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah," she answered, shaking her head. "Just cause you're a demigod or whatever doesn't mean the laws of gravity don't apply to you."

"Well, they do still." Jason shifted so he was sitting right in front of Shel. "It doesn't work like that, really. I just bend the wind to lift me up."

"There's no way you're a fuckin' airbender, dude."

"There is a way, and I'll prove it--"

"Mom!"

Annabeth's eyes shut as she sighed to keep her patience. Meanwhile, Percy nudged her and wondered aloud. "How come they never call for me when they're angry?"

Ignoring her husband, Annabeth looked up as her daughters ran one after the other into the living room. Margot shoved Zoe aside to get there first, sending her older sister spiraling into the wall.

Zoe jumped back up with a grunt, just in time to catch her mother's stern glare and shape up real quick.

Margot pointed at her sister and shouted, "Zoe punched me! For real punched me. In the eye!"

"Was it aggravated?"

"Percy."

He raised his hands in defense. "It's a valid question."

Annabeth pinched the bridge of her nose, though a little grin was fighting its way onto her lips. "Zoe, do not deck your sister in the face."

"Ha!"

"Margot," Annabeth warned. "Do not do anything garnering a deck in the face."

The sisters glared at each other before they said in unison, "Yes, Ma'am" and ran back outside, this time with their Aunt Stella marching after them, slouching and frustrated at being sent to be their babysitter by her mother.

Annabeth sighed and leaned into her husband's side, feeling his laughter in his chest before she heard it. He rubbed at her shoulders. "We haven't decided whose genetics trumped the others yet."

"It's obvious," Y/N said, looking up from the little toy dragon in her lap.

The parents shared a look before Annabeth asked, "Really?"

Y/N nodded. "Yeah. Margot may look just like Sally, but she's all Annie's sass and smarts. And Zoe's a tiny little Percy, except maybe a bit more self-aware."

Percy scoffed, nearly offended, as Annabeth chuckled. Y/N leaned back, reclining into the soft couch, and let her exhaustion get the better of her as she confessed, "I can't wait till I have kids someday."

An instant later, her cheeks were rosy as she sat straight up, glaring at Hazel's little snicker. "I mean, not mine, obviously."

Leo's brows quirked as he turned to face her entirely on the couch. "Why obviously?"

She realized then she'd actually never told anyone. "Oh, uhm," she stammered. "I... uh, I learned a while back I can't. Something in my DNA. I dunno..."

Suddenly, her little slip up wasn't so funny. Piper shifted so she was sitting up, beside Shel on the armchair. "Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry."

Y/N was quick to shake my hands in dismissal, a tiny grin on her face. "No, don't be. I have other options, if I ever get a life and move out of the Big House."

Annabeth tilted her head at that, her hand still in Percy's. "But you love being a counselor?"

"I do! Don't get me wrong," she said, starting to laugh a little awkwardly now that everyone was looking at her. "I just... I wish I hadn't clung to Camp like I had, you know? I shoulda gone to New Rome and gone to college with you guys instead of settling for never getting passed tenth grade."

Now it was Frank that turned to face her. "Y/N, you know it's not too late, right? NRU has GED programs."

Percy nodded. "And then you can apply. I'm sure Reyna and Jason would give you a recommendation or something."

"Definitely," said Jason.

Though the prospect of it was exciting, she ducked her chin and sank deeper into the cushions. "But... guys. I'm bordering on twenty-five..."

Before anyone could say anything else, reassure her it wasn't too late, the man beside her blurted, "I'll do it with you."

Everyone's heads darted in Leo's direction. Leo was smart. Insanely smart. But he'd made it clear school just wasn't for him. He was well enough off, and had a good job working at a garage not too far from the Waystation. He had no need to go back to school.

"What?" Y/N voiced the thought whirling around the room.

He just shrugged. "I've been thinking about it for a while, to be honest."

"You're not just saying that?" Y/N asked. "Cause I-I don't need you to do that for me, Leo. I know how difficult it was for you."

"I'm serious," he insisted. "Fixing motorcycles and cars is fun and all, but there's only so many oil changes a man can do before he has an existential crisis."

He wanted to be an engineer. He'd always wanted to be engineer, really, but it always felt so far away. He'd felt alone, but Y/N was there, and she also wanted more out of life. She too had regrets, probably some regrets they shared, and he wasn't just letting that go.

So he shrugged again, offering her his signature smirk, and raised his fist up to her. "What'dya say? Back to school?"

Y/N probably stared at his fist long enough to make it weird, before her eyes snapped up to meet his, and a smile spread from cheek to cheek. "Okay."

She fist bumped him, letting out a loud laugh as Piper whooped and started a round of applause that soon had the living room nearly too loud to handle.

It was still going on when Sally and Paul entered the room, the mother ripping an oven mitt off her hand and crossing her arms whilst her husband snickered under his breath. He cast her a look and wondered, "Did we miss something?"

[hangenderzoe]

I Want You (Hange x Reader)

summary: you save a stressed Hange Zoe from commander duties

tags: canonverse, mentions of death, hurt/comfort, pinning, hopeful ending, stressed hange zoe, spoilers, gender neutral reader, nonbinary hange

The land inside the walls is small. Everyone knows everyone. You were from the same hometown as Hange. They were a childhood friend who lived a few steps away from your house.

Young Hange Zoe, to put it simply, was a chatterbox. They loved talking about anything under the sun. They especially wouldn't shut up about the heroes of humanity, aka the survey corps. Their fascination and love towards the survey corps were contagious.

One day, they break the news that they will be joining the survey corps. It caught you off guard, but of course, it's the Hange Zoe. There is no other path that suits them better.

The thought of Hange leaving was gut-wrenching, but you were supportive of them nonetheless. Bidding your goodbyes and best wishes, you and Hange share a hug for what you thought was the last time.

Existing without them was dull. You missed the only person who brought some thrill to your life. To somewhat alleviate your sadness, you two remained in touch by exchanging letters.

Despite being a handwritten document, the letters make you feel as though Hange is still with you as the bright creature they are. You learn about the fascinating things about their job, the titans, their gear, and some silly stories about their peers. In a way, their letters make you feel included.

Years pass. Eventually, you realize that the walls are suffocating. You wanted to do something worth your time. Soon enough, you find yourself in the same spot as Hange, training, learning, and dedicating your heart to humanity.

To say Hange missed you is an understatement. During the time they were away, they longed for your presence; Yearning for the warmth and comfort you provide them. 

It wasn't long before Hange Zoe became the new commander. It was a big change for the survey corps. From hundreds of soldiers, to just a small team of youngsters.

Life has been devastating. To top it all off, witnessing Hange go from their bright and bubbly self to stern and grim is heartbreaking.

You watch days go by as Hange skips meals, sleep, and rest. They've locked themself at their office, finishing paperwork and working on research. It hurts to watch Hange waste away like this. There's nothing more you wanted to do but to help even just a little bit. However, seeing their state makes you fear that they would just push you away even more.

One day, you woke up to do your normal morning routine; Freshen up, change clothes, and eat breakfast. Uneventful as always, which was a wake up call for you. 

With heavy steps, you walk to Hange's office, an apple and a piece of bread in your hands. You contemplate knocking, but the door suddenly opens. It's Levi. He shut the door before confronting you, "What are you doing?". 

"I don't think Hange has eaten, so I brought these for them." You manage to blurt out. Levi eyes you up and down before walking away. "Go ahead."

You take a deep breath before entering the office, you forgo knocking which surprised the person slumped over the desk. You placed the apple and bread at the edge of their table which wasn’t scattered with papers and unfamiliar objects. Then, you leave the room. No formalities, no greetings, no words exchanged.

Lunch went by, you didn't even register that you didn't see Hange until dinner time. You realized that you’ve gotten used to their absence. Losing your appetite after the realization, you consider bringing them food again, risking the chance of seeming annoying to Hange. 

With a tray of food and a cup of water. You step inside Hange’s office once again. Noticing the state of the table, it was neater than when you last saw it. You place the meal on the table, away from the papers to avoid making a mess. You leave the office again without making conversation. 

Bringing them food has now become a routine. You have also become more mindful of the time, making sure you bring them something to eat for every meal of the day. 

It was another day, you brought Hange breakfast to their table until they hesitantly called your name. You face them with a smile. “Yes, commander?”. They groaned at the honorific. “Dude, shut up. Acting like we’re not childhood friends.” You lightly chuckle at that. “Well…?” You asked.

Hange took a quick glimpse of your face before looking away abashedly. “Can you um.. Can you maybe help me with these papers? Like categorize them? Of course you don’t have to. You might be busy-”. Hange rambled before you cut them off. “I’d love to help you, Hange! Of course, I can help you.”.

“Are you serious? I mean, really? You don’t have to-”. Hange continued to chatter, but you ignored them. Bringing a chair to sit in front of them to begin categorizing the papers which prompted Hange to stop blabbering. 

Silence filled the office until Hange began to speak again, “Thank you… really.”. You smiled, proud of yourself. “It’s nothing, Hange. You know I love to help you.”. I love being around you, is what you wanted to say. 

You’re almost finished when you think you hear your stomach rumble. “Um, Hange? I’m about to finish this soon. Do you want to eat lunch after?” Hesitation is written all over their face before giving you a meek nod. “Yeah, sure. You made my work lighter after all.”. Your face presented a grin, but you were celebrating and dancing in your head. 

Later that afternoon, you eat in comfortable silence in front of the commander. You can’t help but notice the way they brighten up just from stepping outside of their office. "Wow, I missed this.". They say as they chuckled heartily. 

"Yeah? You should take breaks, commander.". You said while gazing at them to see if they would react to the title you called them. "Well, cadet." They played along. "I just have so much work to do. I don’t have the luxury to even eat meals outside of my office anymore." They answer with a sigh. 

"I would love to help you, Commander Hange. With anything. May it be organizing your papers or assisting you with your experiments or research." 

"Are you sure?" They asked, frowning. "Yes, I would really love to.". 

i actually dont know what the fuck im doing but thanks for readinggg ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ divider by @/saradika

With soft eyes, Hange accepts your offer. "Thank you, y/n. I’m really grateful." Stuttering a little. You smile in response, finishing the last bits of your food.

[ilikekidsshows]

We can see what kind of "friend" Marinette is from the way she treat Socqueline. In my country, we have a saying that said 'When the sweetness is gone, the pulp is thrown out'. It means when something is outgrow it usefulness, it will be thrown away. That's exactly how she streat Socqueline. The moment she got expelled from the school and can't be Marinette defender anymore, thats the moment she's no longer needed/important enough for her to remember.

(Even Cat Noir got this treatment despite of him not going anywhere)

People can't use the defend that 'Socqueline isn't go to Dupont that's why Marinette can't give her a Miraculous' or that 'she's a new character's because neither Kagami nor Luka go to Dupont' and Zoe is a new character just like her. Yet the designated dog miraculous is Sabrina, who's assisting in bullying her just some months ago.

Why, I wonder...

---

Yo, I’ve been planning to write a post about how Marinette's treatment of Socqueline is what made me realize that she will only be friends with someone she can benefit from. Might as well do it now.

Okay, so, the most damning thing when Socqueline gets introduced back into the story is what they say when they meet. Socqueline brings up starting highschool, something she did almost a year ago, as a new thing to Marinette and doesn't know she's completely defanged Chloé. They only talk about meaningless stuff, so you can't even argue that this conversation is important exposition for people who don't remember Socqueline. There's only one assumption to draw from this: Marinette hasn't contacted Socqueline since she got expelled protecting her.

The writers could have avoided this with a single line. They could have implied they’d seen each other off-screen, or that Marinette has been calling/texting/emailing her. Something like: “What have you been up to since last month?” “It's so great to see you in person!” “I really liked your last email!” “Sorry about keeping you up so late last time I called!” But no, Marinette can't be arsed to call, text or email her once only friend that her mom still has frequent contact with, let alone visit her. And why is that? Well, what is their conversation really about? “I was so worried about leaving you with that monster (aka Chloé).” Socqueline’s job was to protect Marinette from Chloé. When she could no longer do that, she was useless. The writers didn’t put in anything to avoid this interpretation because, as far as they are concerned, Marinette’s friends’ job is to benefit her.

Marinette is the kind of friend who’s only concerned with what you can do for her. Like, I already pointed this out before, but Marinette can’t be bothered to remember a pool trip with her friends and she will dip when they’re all supposed to plant trees together if something more interesting comes along. The only time she will hang out with the girl squad and not dip is when they’re helping her with her Love Quest. It’s sadly very consistent that Marinette didn't bother to contact Socqueline because she didn’t need anything from her. She didn't miss her enough to call, didn't wonder about her enough to ask her mom how she was doing, she seemingly didn't even bother to think about her. Socqueline was worried, Marinette mentions nothing of the sort. It’s Socqueline’s job to take care of the poor, miserable, defenseless wretch Marinette, while Marinette will just soak up all the care and give nothing back like an emotional support black hole.

This is also another thing that makes season one Marinette look questionable in hindsight. You're telling me her previous school year ended with her losing her protector against Chloé and dropping all contact, and the next one started with her instantly becoming bosom buddies with the new girl who defended her against Chloé. Hm.