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#take into account im going to live
ratvich · 7 months
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soooo like why did i promise to not hurt or kill myslef 😑 stupid .
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alluralater · 4 months
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thoughts/vent post
yesterday i was thinking about how big the united states is and how it’s crazy that if someone were to invade, we really just wouldn’t know if they were quiet and smart about it. then i started today thinking about the insane amount of cop cities being built all over this country, quietly. specifically being built in places that have been known for protesting. we are being invaded right now, quietly but surely. our government has realized that there is possibility to overthrow them and they’re putting all this shit into motion now because in 5-10 years there will be an INSANE amount of unrest, even more than we’ve seen in the 2020 black lives matter protests, even more than we’ve seen in the current palestinian genocide protests. the police presence at both of these kinds of protests have been overwhelming. though protesting is a legal right. (for non-americans-> it is legal but it isn’t actually and that’s why it’s so dangerous to do. our government will pretend certain laws don’t exist whenever convenient). all cops here are bad and they serve a system meant to harm and imprison citizens + protect property of the rich. doing anything else is actually what you’d consider outliers to their intended purpose, though it still doesn’t negate ACAB. even the way it’s taught in our country, protesting was actually only okay for this group of white guys when THEY wanted to overthrow the british government. that one we’re supposed to clap for and anything else historically was frowned upon at the time. many people are killed, jailed, and/or injured at protests at the hands of police and our mainstream media is owned by those in power, so they’ll call it “rioting” and flip shit around to confuse even more of the population + try to turn us against each other. it is extremely rare that anyone protesting actually does something to cause harm and therefore dEseRvEd to get their shit rocked by these weirdos in uniform that sold their soul for 22k a year. in my opinion it’s like the stanford prison experiment but imagine it large scale because there is very little training and they’re basically taught to shoot without more thought than it takes to upholster their weapon. oh and they’re taught to aim for kill shots so that’s… ??? pretty much they’re just untrained idiots walking around with no idea what they’re doing and they get off on the sense of power given to them. AND the way the military + police system work similarly is that they teach people not to think. don’t think, just shoot. don’t think, just take someone to the ground. don’t think, act. they are vessels without thought and harm people the same way— thus in my opinion, are soulless.
btw does anyone wonder where all this funding is coming from?? where this country refuses to help their own citizens or deliver aid to countries in need while saying it isn’t in the budget, they will instead always have money for weapons, for bombs, for sending money to other countries that want to commit atrocities. they will always have money for militarization. this country is guilty of so many things and the fact that we can just print more money to continue the horrors is— well, it’s horrifying. you can’t even count on the idea of us running out of money because somehow there is somehow ALWAYS money for murdering people overseas. fucking disgusting. that pentagon tax audit missing trillions of dollars is makin reeeal noise right now.
does anyone know the process of how you go about getting a country disbanded? more on that, how do we go about ruining the process of these cop cities. i’ll be researching. i want them left empty like those unfinished amusement parks. i want them turned into free or low-income housing. i want them turned into agriculture or food centers because food deserts are at an all time high.
the media is flooded right now with trending pop culture topics and while this is distracting, if you live in the USA, cop cities are a HUGE problem and we’ll be seeing just how bad the effects are in a few years. we’re going to see a lot of our citizens desperate for work (because the economy is in a perpetual state of decline and the rich are getting richer while costs of living for the rest of us increase even more and jobs become more scarce) and there’s no way these cop cities won’t start eventually offering programs for debt relief, education, healthcare, and housing— pretty much exactly what the military here does already for many citizens who believe they have no other options than to enlist so they can survive.
militarizing your citizens against your citizens??? leading by fear and oppressive force??? taking advantage of the vulnerable populace??? not changing the system but instead doubling down when eyes are drawn away?? overturning laws meant to protect them??? drafting new laws to smite them?? encouraging genocide and taking part in said genocides because it’s profitable?? that’s just… so… american government. we have literally never lived in an actual democracy. not once. everything we have is stolen and/or covered in blood. there is no changing or redeeming the past but the future is wide fucking open for change. if we lived in a true democracy, the changes we (the overwhelming majority noted in polls and census taking) have been asking for would already exist. america is a force of greed and deception, eating and eating itself and everything around it without pause while claiming it is still hungry for more. it will consume itself eventually but not anytime soon. i doubt i’ll be around to see the fall. i doubt any of us will. i wanna grab people by the shoulders and be like— please don’t wait on the future to save you. we only have right now to save ourselves.
god ugh anyways okay i’m done. probably gonna talk more shit in the tags though
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nartml · 4 months
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Some of you are trying to find misogyny where it doesn't exist because you want to be victims so bad
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chibi-scone · 11 months
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Still can’t wrap my head around how Izzy shooting Ed was supposed to symbolize him “breaking up with Blackbeard” and have them go through that whole thing at the beginning of the season, to have Izzy be the one who tells Ed to follow what makes him happy, and have Izzy’s whole arc be about who he is without Blackbeard just for the finale to turn around and say that Izzy had to die because he was half of Blackbeard and that Ed couldn’t fully let go of Blackbeard otherwise.
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#by all accounts it doesn't make sense#Izzy stopped caring about Blackbeard when he stopped following Ed’s orders and started going with the crew#when he told Ed he wouldn’t kill him#he had his figurative death when he tried to shoot himself and Blackbeard had his literal death when the crew killed him#when he’s fucking doing his whole speech saying that piracy isn’t about glory or fame it’s about the community it’s about the crew#the fact that they said that they just didn’t know what else to do with Izzy’s arc so dying was the best conclusion is INSANE to me#like im so hung up on this#blackbeard WAS us#YEAH WAS#dont get me started on how izzy used his fk dying breath to take the blame for everything just protecting others til the very end uh#izzy hands#him telling ed that the crew loves him and then he just....leaves#bitch the crew LOVED YOU#the whole “blackbeard was us i needed him” does gut me a little bit tho ngl like oof can yall stop being tragic for 2secs 😔#anywayyyyy sorry if im being rly negative i dont want to be truly im just upset#it’s like I understand what they were going for but when you put it next to everything that’s happened it’s like ….idk#“izzy keeps the story of Blackbeard alive by being alive!!” and ed doesnt ???#hes literally the face of Blackbeard#so he gets to change and grow and become something else and live as that but izzy cant?#you cannot kill a whole by just getting rid of half#izzy was moving past Blackbeard i just what the fuck is UP#“its cause ed is the mc and izzy is just the side character there to be a device for his growth”#ok well then dont have that characters whole motivation be about actualizing himself as his own person for a whole season#ofmd critical#ofmd
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abnerkrill · 1 year
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im hereby issuing a challenge to my tumblr friends to find me some new blorbo material, just, like, for fun, for giggles. imagine this post as a kind of like a place for abandoned pets except it's your tall dark-haired tortured unhinged desperate weirdos that you think fit well in a spectrum of daddy issues -> mommy issues along with adar, abner krill, crais, loki, simon monroe, axe woves, boba fett, guy of gisborne, marcus kane, bucky barnes, peter hale, garcia flynn, cliff legrand, and the like. humor me. do your worst. i'd like to think i know the contemporary blorbo landscape pretty well but if there are men who fit the bill out there that i have yet to discover i would like to discover them.
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cryptidfuckery · 1 year
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ripping apart EA games with my fucking teeth
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doomspiral · 1 year
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fandom is not academia nor is it social justice work, and hetalia...... the yaoi manga where the author thinks every sex crime is hilarious....... least among them. i think we should do our best not to be egregiously fucking racist or whatever but please remember the scope of the thing.
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g0thsoojin · 2 months
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🦴
#im like very much having a crisis right now... i mean to most ppl it isnt that serious lmaoooo#but tbh i am a loser and tumblr is 80% of my life and most of my social life#all social interactions i get are on tumblr ._.#so i dont want to keep alienating myself on it because then im just ruining it for myself and removing the only place#and source of social interaction and attention :/#i personally can not for my life comprehend this because i really dont take other peoplës venting personally#but ever since i started using twitter and tumblr i have ruined so many connections .. by venting on my own account.....#and now.. when i lost and fucked it up with the love of my life... just bc i vented and he interpreted it from his pov..#and got hurt when i wrote things abt being lonely and unwanted WHILE talking to him everyday and having him call me beautiful and care abt m#... i understand why he got hurt and i understand his pov bc it looked like i pulled away and distanced myself and only complained and that#he didnt matter to me when in fact he was EVERYTHING to me and i lived off his attention#i hate that i ruined the best thing i could ever have just bc i have this pathological need to share my every thought#like shut the fuck up... i wish i wouldve shut the fuck up and instead gushed abt how much i liked him which was what i wanted to do#my avpd just made me feel stupid bc when i did he didnt interact with those posts and then i felt embarrassed#which like i know how fucking stupid avpd and bpd makes me and i hate it but i cant stop it#god i regret it so much like my dumb ass blog isnt worth losing him over... it just isnt#only an online connection.. makes it so hard to see bc he only saw my diary where i complain he didnt see everything else :(((#so he thought that he wasnt important to me and then slowly started to detach himself from me (understandably) god i wanna die#so yeah ive started to HATE my main account. bc it has ruined so much for me. plus lately ppl have started being mean#and i get it its the internet ppl suck but i AM so fkn sensitive. and i get sad and hurt really easily#and i feel anxious abt venting bc im scared of getting a mean ask after#like... i feel so fucking alone and idk what to do. all i want to do now is vent vent vent but ive started to feel like venting is bad#and harmful and only ruins my friendships and connections and makes ppl be mean to me#i honestly wish i wouldve stopped venting every thought looooong ago#and that i had a more normal blog and had a secret vent blog and that he didnt read all my miserable posts#bc then maybe.... he wouldve actually understood how much i fkn love him and hadnt looked in other places and now i lost him#bc i really dont blame him bc i know what he is struggling with and seeing me who he cares for so much say those things...#i get it 100% and thats why im so pissed with myself for just not stopping!!!! why cant i stop????? whats wrong with me#i just feel so lonely and like no ones listening but he was listening to me i just had to be brave and go to him#plus all my venting made him think that im like in severe emotional distress every second and that i was too fragile to talk to
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dandyshucks · 8 months
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ouhhhh the neighbour doesn't have any supplies of her own for crochet and I'm teaching her and my mother today starting in just over an hour
and i am ... not selfish with my supplies but i am unemployed and living off a very tight budget (cannot purchase any more yarn for projects unless i manage to do some pretty spectacular savings on my groceries for the month which is... not very doable) so I'm a tad worried she's going to be good at crocheting and want to Make Something with the yarn that i do have fjdskl and I would normally be totally fine with that but considering there's basically nowhere in town to buy yarn (i've had to buy online) and shipping is $20+ lately, that's not exactly a great thing for me right now 🧍‍♂️
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dwemers · 29 days
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I’m so excited I’m like literally shaking
#so I work at like seasonal job multiple stores and shit some more far out and in the boonies than others#and like before I was at my current job I managed this shitshow camp store#literally was so horrible but only bcs my boss sucked and pushed all his responsibilities to me while I still had to do MY JOB#like darkest time of my life trying to keep that store from falling apart until eventually I was like fuck this#transferee to a different property in a different state and like stalked this lady who would come help us and she hired me as her assistant#like truly amazing I love her so much my boss is the fucking best#but now at my property we have a camp store with no manager being run to the ground#so they asked me to go manage it…#and lLIKEEEE ITS IN THE HIGH CIUNTRY#SOOO NO SERVICE LIVING IN A TENT SHARED SHOWER DORMS#IM SO EXCITEDDD#and also I’ll be at 9k feet elevation SO ILL SEE STARSS!#im at 5thoussnd feet rn and it’s just not the same#my shitty store was at 7 thousand but the year before I lived at 8 thousand feet and the stars are so magical#but everyone else I work with feels bad I ‘have to’ go up there and run the store for a few weeks#I’m like literally MY PLEASURE#working in a camp store is literally summer camp vibes#and I’m such a retail girl boss they didn’t even brief me they were like you know how to open and close a store#AND I DONT HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF INVOICESSS#that was my nightmare at the last place like they taught all the managers how to recieve and pay invoices but no one else really understood#sooo like a day before months end when invocies HAVE to be paid I’d get stacks from every store on property#and like just my store was already a lot to go through bcs we did groceries and gas and beer and retail merch#but lol I came to my current place and they have a whole office just for that lotta sweet lady’s in accounting I’m like damn??#they did me so dirty????#best part about being a warehouse girl with previous retail management experience is thissss#pray for me though I haven’t managed other humans in 2 years and they’re union employees so I just have to follow all the rules#love the union but I’m scared of breaking any labor laws since I’ve never managed humans in the state in living in#last state was horrible there was no lunch break laws
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piplupod · 6 months
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one more post while i am insane but i do think maybe Wanting to live should be ... enough to live. like can it just be all that is needed maybe. instead of [gestures vaguely at capitalistic society] all of that. a person should just Want to be alive and be allowed to live and given what they need to live. i dont want to have to beg and grovel for the ability to keep myself alive, i already did that (and continue to do that!) with my parents and now apparently i have to do that with the govmt and just... Everything.
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waitformereprise · 1 year
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love how ive literally been browbeaten into abject submission by my advisor and i asked another prof to please please please take me on im literally abt to kms here and shes like ummmmmm ill have 2 think abt it :)
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ghostickle · 6 months
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I really be cursed for everyone I meet to just end up using me huh
#I live the next town over from a college town#that’s like. everyone fucking hates the college kids#especially cause this particular school it’s all just assholes with rich parents#unfortunately for me it’s also full of cool looking alt people who keep fucking me over#cause I fall for the crust pants and platforms and cool hair#then suddenly I’m talking them outta suicide every night and basically parenting them#like full on making sure they’re getting food this recent one giving him a place to crash so he didn’t have to live with his ex#driving them around paying for everything despite the fact they’re unemployed and their rich ass parents buy them everything#meanwhile I actually work and am struggling to pay my bills every month#I can’t afford to feed myself but god knows they’re getting everything they could ever want#and still being ungrateful and rude#and I’ll be like hey maybe u should go to a professional yk im not a therapist I can’t help with ur whole suicidal thing#and they get mad at me and throw me away cause oh no they have to work on themselves and take accountability#I’m not gonna keep spoon feeding some fucker who’s gotten life on a silver platter#idk there’s two very different sides to punks I’ve met#there’s either punks who are punk cause they have been through hell and fucked over by the universe and have a genuine understanding of the#beliefs it comes with and the morals#and there’s the punks who maybe sure like the music and the style but have never had to so much as raise their voice to be heard#never had to fight for anything#which isn’t inherently bad I wish I was that lucky#but they’re never really aware of that privilege and just expect to be handed everything#and get pissed if they are expected to be held accountable for being an asshole#ghost rambles
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italiantea · 9 months
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dog dump
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deus-ex-mona · 1 year
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t h e trip awaits~~~~~~~~~~
#guess who managed to bribe the family onto a birthday trip to the cup noodle museum~? >this fool!!!!<#but my proposal to visit the cup noodle museum every day of the trip was rejected :( sads#but c’mon mans i’m paying for the flights and hotel i deserve my cup noods every day right~~~?#though my mother did say that she’d pay for d i s n e y l a n d and d i s n e y s e a for her trip contribution#and im just like. th. they’re different places????? (lives under a rock)#but anyways phase 1 of trapping my bro overseas so that he’ll have no choice but to wish me happy birthday this year is a g o!!!!!!!!#my bank account feels lighter but my excitement levels could n o t be any higher!!!!! heck yeaaaa mans let’s go to the cup noodle museum!!!!#though. when i told my coworkers that i was going to take a trip to visit the cup noodle museum… they all called me stupid in so many ways…#there’s no way that i like cup noodles too much right…?#i like cup noodles a normal amount i swear…………..#cup noodles are just. really rad yk~~~~? they come in so many different sizes and varieties!!!! and there’s a nood for every occasion!!!#there are fried nood varieties (yakisoba/mi goreng types) and there are ~fancy~ bowl noods too!!!!!!!#cup noodles are the best~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~#cup noodles the loml <333333333333333#they won’t betray you by boiling over either!!!!!!!!!!! just add hot water and it’ll do all the work!!!!!!#remind me to get my coworkers souvenirs from the cup noodle museum… and maybe d i s n e y l a nd too. maybe.#inedible blubbering
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oasatelematics · 9 months
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also it feels like my brain is fried, it's quite hard to gather my thoughts consistently.... it was much worse when my symptoms peaked a couple days ago but i can still feel it lingering
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