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ifonotlnow · 1 year ago

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REVIEW THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT: LIVE FROMT HE HAUNTED CANDLE SHOP EDITION

sorry

Hydroelectric Viking: 6/10

Yeah, you already know how I feel about instrumentals. Side note, this song would go hard as a beat saber level.

The Saga of You, Confused Destroyer of Planets: 8/10

While this song used to be my favorite on the album, it recently became overshadowed by others. Also, I heard this one cover called The Saga of Ballsack Joe, Confused Destroyer of Bitches by The Ballsacks that is mostly the original lyrics with dirty words stuffed in and the original instrumental playing distorted in the background. When I heard it, I thought it was immature and got all pissed off and couldn't stop ranting in my head about it every time I heard the original song. Moral of the story, I'm a stupid buzzkill and should learn to lighten up a little.

Mr. Wolfgang: 6.75/10

This song was one of the few songs I liked upon first listen to the album, along with TSoY,CDoP and Boat. However, it shortly became overplayed in my head. This song DOES have a slight touch of edginess, but it knows what it's doing and doesn't take itself more seriously than it should. Also, BANG BANG, HE JUST SHOT HIS BOSS. BANG BANG HE JUST SHOT HIS BOSS'S BOSS!

Boat: 8/10

Before I actually liked this album, this song was my favorite from it. While I do like it less than I used to, it's definitely in my album top 3. One of my favorite lyrics in the album is "AEIOU sometimes Y, Why not!" It's a dumb piece of wordplay just kinds stuffed in the song, but it doesn't take itself too seriously, and works in my opinion.

Destructo!: 8/10

NO WAY THEY SAID THE THING! THEY SAID THE THING! THAT'S THE NAME OF THE ALBUM!!!!!

good song

Fiberglass Monkey: 7/10

Don't really have anything to say. Good song. I liked when there was the fiberglass monkey. Classic example of the hero's journey. Kid is haunted by fiberglass monkey. Kid gets bat. Kit hits fiberglass monkey with said bat. Fiberglass monkey dies. What's not to love?

Fly Straight or Drop the Oar and Wreck: 7/10

I like most of the song. I really like the background vocals when he says "plate right now." Also, It's really satisfying when he finally "Fly straight or drop the oar and wreck." The violin at the end of the song is a little drawn out, though.

Oz Explodes 7.5/10

Took me embarrassingly long to realize the song's lyrics were taken directly from the wizard of oz. Iconic kazoo cover, every time I remember I have a kazoo I immediately pull it out and play this song. Also, this song is how I remembered the Pythagorean Theorem when I was taking my standardized test. So thanks, Neil! If you can't tell, I'm not writing this review while extremely tired at 10 P.M. (unlike yesterday's)

Booja Jabooja: 7/10

Don't really LOVE this one, but It's a good song. Also, WHEN DID NEIL TRANSLATE THE CHORUS?? ISNT THE WHOLE THING THAT IT'S GIBBERISH THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE? anyways yeah 7/10

Dance Like an Idiot: 8/10

Very catchy song, with it's own dance too! This sone is the cupid's shuffle for weird losers (me!) Also, I love the synth solo in the middle.

Chu Chu Rocket: 7.5/10

Okay embarrasing story, it took me like two months to realize that

A. This song is a cover and

B. and more embarrassingly, this song is in Japanese

okay, so the first time I heard this song it played right after Booja Jabooja so naturally, I assumed it was another made up language that just so happened to sound a lot like Japanese and English. Actually never mind, there's no defending myself. That was stupid of me.

Switzerland: 9/10

Good song, one of my album favorites. The story does lead me to wonder, though, did the protagonist ever make it to Switzerland? Why couldn't this story have any closure like Fiberglass Monkey did? Oh why, Neil 20 years ago, did you do this???

Party on the Moon: 8/10

8/10 good. Who the hell is Mr. Kenji Akita?

Without My Tonsils: 7/10

this song was my ringtone for, like, a really long time. I like this song, but it radiates with edginess. THAT ENDING WAS GREAT. IT WAS A PERFECTLY FINE, NOT AT ALL DISSAPOINTING ENDING UNTIL HE STARTED REPEATING THE LYRICS "DISSAPOINTING ENDING", THEREFORE MAKING THE ENDING DISSAPOINTING. SCREW YOU NEIL (I don't actually care that much)

Birdhouse In Your Soul: 7.5/10

I don't think that before hearing this version, I had ever listened to the TMBG version. Strangely enough, the song felt very familiar, and when I did eventually listen to the original version it felt very familiar. Side note, if anybody reading this is a TMBG fan, how do you feel about this cover (especially if you listen to they might be giants but haven't listened to the cover yet, listen and tell me how you feel!)

Anyways, good song, both referring to the original and Neil's version

Mold en Mono: 9/10

Love this song, easily my favorite. If you listen close enough, you'll hear the cuica sounds that Neil used before it was even cool (cough cough Baldi's Basics cough cough). Anyway, I love the layering of the lyrics in the outro, and it's very funny to me the origin of the song's title (search it up, I don't feel like typing). Classic Live From The Haunted Candle Shop song.

Movie Night: 6.5/10

It's not a bad song, but it's too slow for my liking. I remember the first couple times I listened to it I would wait for it to get faster and more exciting, and it never happened. Back then, I'd have probably given it a 4/10 but it's since grown on me

OVERALL: 7.5/10

FAVORITE/ LEAST FAVORIE SONGS

Mold en Mono, Hydroelectric viking (dishonorary mention to Movie Night)

I feel like this review was better written than the last one, but not interesting/funny enough for that to make up for it. This one's just boring and bad.

#lemon demon album review #neil cicierega #lemon demon #live from the haunted candle shop #ines's album review

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minnichan · 2 years ago

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Got tagged by @greighish again :D

15 questions for 15 mutuals:

are you named after anyone? - nope but apparently all the younger kids on the maternal side of the family got named after me? we don’t really do generational names in vietnamese I think (my older cousins all have different names), but all the younger kids’ names start the same as mine.

when was the last time you cried? - probably during my rewatch of “lighting up the stars”? but actual cry was in january after 25h travel to vietnam and then all the stress got to me and I was annoyed at my family.

do you have any kids? - no, and I don’t want any. I’m slowly starting to look around for a hysterectomy now that I’m turning 30 soon and hopefully doctors are more open to doing that procedure on 30+ years old patients.

do you use sarcasm a lot? - rarely. my brain is too slow to come up with sarcasm.

what sports do you/have you played? - currently none. I tried some but never stuck with anything. swimming, yoga, kung fu, iaido, ice skating... I’m too tired after work to commit to any sports. I do want to look into martial arts in the future, most likely vovinam. the most I do now is playing just dance on the switch once every few weeks. also I want a VR gaming set for beat saber.

what’s the first thing you notice about people? - idk I don’t really pay attention to people lmao. wish I wouldn’t notice the smell of others, I feel like my nose is too sensitive.

eye color? - brown

scary movies or happy endings? - HE! I don’t really like to watch scary stuff.

any special talents? - none in particular I think?

where were you born? - Berlin

any hobbies? - karaoke, reading, translation (in theory, haven’t done that in a while...)

do you have any pets? - no, never wanted any. I can’t even take care of myself properly. also all the fur and poop? nah.

how tall are you? - 152 cm (4′11″).

favorite subject in school? - english because it was easy.

dream job? - I do not dream of labour. as a kid I wanted to be a scientist but seeing all of them at work just writing project and grant proposals, research papers, etc. I’m glad I didn’t go in that direction. working as a lab technician is enough, though I do hate working with chemicals... another childhood dream was editor but I don’t think reading for work would be fun. also I’m not good with analysing text. if we ever get unconditional basic income I’d be ok with any job as long as I don’t have to work more than 15h per week and I don’t have to get dirty.

Gonna tag a few folks this time, but no pressure! And anyone else feel free to do it too! @miss-ingno @asoftspotforangels @rizababe @mindfogger @the-marron

Template below:

15 questions for 15 mutuals:

are you named after anyone?

when was the last time you cried?

do you have any kids?

do you use sarcasm a lot?

what sports do you/have you played?

what’s the first thing you notice about people?

eye color?

scary movies or happy endings?

any special talents?

where were you born?

any hobbies?

do you have any pets?

how tall are you?

favorite subject in school?

dream job?

#going through my notifs and picking the 5 most recent mutuals lol #besides the ones I already know more about #also got tagged by miss-ingno for another thing which I'll do later #lunch break has been over since a while actually lmao #my posts

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votestaynight · 2 years ago

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15th day "Utopia" (scene 4)

How should I spend the remaining hours? I thought about it, but this is where I ended up.

"This place does not change. I like the quiet of the living room, but this place suits me better."

"Yeah. You like to sit Japanese-style even though you're a knight, and the shinai looked pretty good on you as well. It might have been fun having a match with armors on."

"Armor? You should have said so. I could have worn my armor, and you could have put pads on. …We really should have done that. If you had mentioned it earlier, I could have fought you more seriously."

"Uh…" Saber is so cute even when she's annoyed. She's cute, but her words are pretty scary.

"Are you serious about being serious? I wouldn't be able to get up for a week if we did that."

"No, that is not true. You underestimate yourself. You have really improved these past few days. It might even be possible for you to take a match from me." "Really?"

Even if that's flattery, I'm really happy. I really respect Saber when it comes to swords. Being able to beat her even once is like being accepted by her.

"For real…? So, I could even win a match against you if chance favored me…?" "Yes. You have vastly improved. You can be proud of that, and I am really happy about it as well."

"―――――" Saber replies with a full smile. …That expression makes my determination vanish. After this. We won't be able to come back. If we can just run away instead of going into an unwinnable battle――

"Shirou? Why have you stopped? …Does your wound hurt? If that is the case, please rest in your room and――" "――No, I'm fine now. Nothing hurts anymore."

――I cut off all hesitations. I can't run away, and I really don't want our final time together to be like this.

"Hey Saber. Since we're here, do you want to spar lightly? Not a match, but more like playing around." I hide my emotions and bluff as much as I can.

"All right. Then I shall fight you using my style. You can fight me in your style as well."

She must have understood my intentions as she gladly accepts my idea. …Yes. It's more like us to be fighting than talking.

For a short while, we forget about everything and feel each other's shinai.

――The moon is distant. The clouds have cleared and the darkness has a dim blue glow. Daybreak is close. The long night is about to end.

――This is the final moment. Going through the night, Saber and I have reached our final destination.

"――Shirou, this is…" Saber sounds tense. I feel the same way. As I nod, I can feel sweat dripping down my neck.

…The mountain feels like one big living thing. The wind coming down from the mountain gate is warm, and the shaking trees seem like breathing lungs. Chills and pressure assail me every time I take a step. No――the air really is thick and wet.

"…Mana is dense here. This is just like ten years ago. I expect…" …The summoning of the Holy Grail has begun or it's already over. Either way, that must mean that Lancer has fallen to Gilgamesh.

"――I'm going to make sure, Saber. After we reach the top, all that's left is to fight. You take care of Gilgamesh, so I'll take care of his Master――Kotomine. We won't assist each other. …We just have to beat one of our opponents."

"Yes. I will concentrate on my own fight this time. And Kotomine is an enemy you must defeat." "…Yeah. Leave him to me. You too Saber. Don't let that guy beat you."

"…Yes. I will swear on my pride that he will not defeat me. Not as a Servant, but as a heroic spirit, I cannot allow him to beat me."

Saber says so strongly without hesitation or distress. So there's nothing more to say. We will go to battle and determine the winner as the last remaining Masters. ――Even if in the process… If one of us dies, the other need only defeat their enemy.

Even if I die, if Saber beats Gilgamesh, Kotomine won't be able to obtain the Holy Grail. At the same time, even if Saber dies――if I defeat Kotomine, Gilgamesh won't be able to stay in this world. …So there's no need to help each other. Our battles have already gone their separate ways.

Red light fills the mountaintop. The blowing wind is getting stronger and it seems the source of it is that light――coming from the back of the grounds. The red phosphorescence scatters on the wind, and the grounds is too bright for nighttime.

Stagnant air filled with the presence of death. ―――――This is… Like the fire back then.

"―――――" But it isn't like that. Within all this red light, something is about to emerge.

…From the back of the building. A black darkness oozing in the bright red. If this clearing is like a clear lake, that mud is like an oil spill.

"――You are finally here. I have been waiting for you, Saber." He is there, within all the rich colors. Ignoring the blood red and the death-stained black. The Servant clad in gold is waiting for us――no, for Saber in the middle of this place.

"And the time is about right. The Holy Grail has finally moved into action and the void has just opened. This curse is the contents of the Holy Grail, the Third Element which keeps us Servants in this world. ――This is what you splashed me with ten years ago."

Gilgamesh is only looking at Saber. It goes the same for Saber. She takes a step forward and points her sword at the knight in front of her.

"――That is good spirit. That strong spirit, even though you know you cannot defeat me. It is indeed suitable to end this party, but――"

"I do not want any intrusions. You lowlife, disappear right now if you want to see Kotomine. He is waiting for you at the altar."

"――!" Kotomine is waiting.

…I glance at Saber. She nods while looking at Gilgamesh. Her figure tells me… That she is wishing me her best.

――I turn around. The one I need to face isn't here. Behind me. As I run, I hear the battle start.

At the back of the building. Behind the main temple is a large lake. Untouched by humans, the lake is holy as if a dragon king lives in it. The clear blue water is pure and the lake isn't even murky.

But that's all in the past. The lake now has none of these characteristics. The red light is in front of my eyes. And the sea of black tar. ――And――

The "void" created in the air and the girl presented as a sacrifice.

"――Koto… mine…!" My calm mind instantly goes over the limit. I stop and glare at my enemy.

"Welcome, Emiya Shirou. The last surviving Master." He smiles sarcastically and opens his arms to welcome me. …This is the site of our battle. This is the altar of the summoning in this Holy Grail War.

"――Let Ilya down. I'll beat you up after that." I glare at Kotomine. …There's about ten meters between us. The fight will begin if I move another step. …Once the fight starts, I'll have to run straight at him and stab him in the chest. But before that, I have to do something about Ilya――

"Hey. Didn't you hear me? I told you to let Ilya down. What's so fun about torturing a kid?"

"I understand your feelings, but I cannot do that. The Holy Grail has appeared, but the void is yet unstable. My wish will not come true unless she bears this until she dies." Until she dies――then Ilya is still alive…!

"…I see. If you have no intention of letting her down, I'll just have to use force. I'll stop your wish――that black mud, right now."

"…Oh. So this must appear to be my wish to you. ――As expected from the son of Kiritsugu. I did not expect two generations to make the same mistake." "Wh――at?"

"There is no reason to explain things to someone who does not understand the Holy Grail. You may fulfill your role as the last Master with that misunderstanding." "――!"

I jump. There's about ten meters between us. Keeping that distance, I jump sideways. "―――――" This is the result of my instincts of not wanting to die… …Surpassing my desire to kill him.

"――!" I roll sideways onto the ground. I stop instantly and look up.

"That's――!" I look at the place I was running over. A sound of burning. The burning sound is coming from the black mud, stretching out from the lake. …It's like a black carpet. The mud slashed like a whip, attacking me as I went after Kotomine, and left a mark on the ground.

"I forgot to tell you, but you are already within my range. And to add, this thing is sensitive to living beings. ――I do not mind you moving, but you will die if you move carelessly."

"――!" I jump to avoid the black mud mercilessly attacking me. Screw moving carelessly. He's ready to kill me…!

"Damn――you fake priest…!" I stand up, still keeping watch over the lake. …The distance to Kotomine hasn't changed. That means this ten meters is as near as he wants me to get. …But that tentacle of mud stretches without limit. It will come after me if he wants it to, and I'm sure there are more than one――

"Oh, so you are ready to fight. That pleases me. I could not kill you if you were to run away, but there will be no problem if you attack me. I serve God, so I cannot kill someone who is pleading for their life."

…The tentacle whips out. The quivering mud coming from the lake is like a black snake.

"―――――" …I bite my lip. This is the worst situation as I thought. The number of snakes continues to increase without end. I don't know how long I can survive, let alone how I can get close to him――

"It is only natural for you to be unable to win. There is a large difference in the years we have lived. It is a difference you cannot overcome unless you have something major."

The priest raises his hands. He glares at the heavens as if he is conducting an orchestra.

"――Put your life on the line. You might be able to reach me if you do so―――!"

He releases the black snakes.

"Guh――!" I kick away the mucus around my ankle. My clothes are burnt away and my skin is exposed.

"――Guh, uh――!" I jump back from the striking tentacle. I can't feel my right ankle and I can't even tell if it's there, but I jump into the open field in front of me.

"Ha――Haa, ha, ah――!" I check my body as I roll. Ankle. All right, it's still there. I just can't feel it. If it's there, I should be able to run.

"Ah――haa, haa, ah――!" I jump in a different direction again to avoid the striking mud. I hear a splashing sound right next to me. The smell of the ground burning forces my dizzy head awake and――

"――!!!!!!" Fire runs up my back. "Ha, guh, guh――!" I shake it off and jump to an empty space. That must have been the end of this attack. The black mud that was surrounding me has disappeared from view for now――

"Ha――aa…Ah." …I bite my lip. I ran so much, but in the end… I'm pushed back to here again.

"Ha―――― haa, haa, ha――" I breathe hard and look at him so as not to lose in spirit. …Kotomine has not moved at all. He has just watched me run around.

"Haa… haa, haa, haa, haa――" …No matter how hard I breathe, my heart won't calm down. It's saying it's at its limits and it needs rest. It's about to go out on its own if I don't let it rest.

"Kuh――ha, haa, ha, ah――" I can't do anything. I can't get near Kotomine nor get through that black mud. …I'm not going to hold back on using the 'projection' magic.

If I can't move forward, I can reproduce Saber's sword again. It'll surely be able to slice through that black mud and I can go straight for Kotomine.

"Hm? Is that all? Tell me if you have given up." The instant he speaks…[r] "Haa――ah, ha――!?" Lots of mud comes splashing toward me, telling me I cannot let myself stop.

"Kuh――!" I raise myself and barely dodge the mud. …The mud itself isn't too bad. It's slow compared to Saber's shinai, and it only comes where it's aimed, so it's easy to dodge.

But that's only true when there's only one of them. I can't deal with tens of mud attacks, the ones that come from behind me the instant I dodge them. As a result, I can only move around. Even then, mud covers me bit by bit.

"Guh, damn――!" There's no time to rest. I can't reproduce a sword like this. "Projection" magic tracing a weapon from the beginning requires at least one minute of concentration. If I show such an opening, I'll be melted down to my bones.

"Haa――ha, ha, ha, ah――!" The parts of my body covered with mud have lost sensation. The only good thing is that I don't feel any pain, but I won't know if I'm dead or not when that mud covers my whole body. I'm finished when that happens, and most of all――I'll have melted away by then.

"Haa――ha, ha, ha, ah――!" For now, all I can do is run. If there's any chance of getting near him, it'll be when I do something about this mud―― "Ow――damn, oh――!?"

"―――――!" I-I can't believe it…! Who on earth would trip at a time like this!?

"―――――" Kotomine looks down at me like trash. He points his finger at me, and many snakes show their veins.

"…!" I get up. I try to get up, but fall again. "――Eh?"

I fall. I fall. The snakes are coming.

But I still fall. Why? Why? Why? Black mud comes for my neck. Why? Oh, I see why. My right ankle is unbelievably black――

"――Ah." Black mud rains down. It spills onto my body like a rainstorm, melts it, and drowns my despair――

TIGER DOJO

Taiga: Not having a weapon when it's needed. This is the place to help such people, the Tiger Dojo. Well. It is the prevailing view that the outcome of battle is decided before it even starts. What does it mean, student!?

Ilya: Um, I guess you shouldn't start a fight until you have a weapon or a plan?

Taiga: Yes! The enemy is the unfair Servant that prepared the strongest force with his money. So you should at least prepare one weapon that lets you turn things around.

Ilya: Then Taiga, are you saying you should restart from the night before the fight and prepare a new weapon? What can you do in such a short time?

Taiga: You can do this! Saber-chan originally had three Noble Phantasms. You should be able to do something if you prepare the last one.

Ilya: I see. You just have to give it back to her, right?

Taiga: Yup. Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's. It's something too valuable to lose, but you have to give back what you found.

Ilya: Oh, you said something good, by your standards. I guess you're a school teacher even if you're a bad one at that.

Taiga: Ahahahaha! Praise me, praise me!

Ilya: Yeah, yeah. Then while Taiga is in a good mood, we will make a major announcement. This corner has continued modestly as a side to the main story, but this is the final episode! We will use a different outlook and start "Tiger Dojo Part II: Taiga One Hundred Million Yen Debt"!! We're going to move the setting to my castle and update our standing pics, music, and even hardware! Production budgets will double and it will be so rich that you won't even think this is a bonus corner!

Taiga: Gahahaha, so many wonderful things! I don't quite understand, but is it like getting a totally new graphic designer!?

Ilya: That's right, master! We will be freed from this rough art! Osu!

Taiga: Marvelous! In that case, let us get away from this dojo right away! Listen, everyone. The key to the second route is on the third day! Once you see an ending, there should be a choice that wasn't there before on the third night. Then hit, hit, hit! Use whatever you can including your Command Spell to stop the raging lion!

Ilya: That's right. Then everyone, I'll be waiting for you in the renewed Tiger Dojo!

ARIA CORNER

Well folks, you managed to get the last Dead End on this route! Well done, everybody. Worth noting that Taiga's advice about starting the second route has technically been rendered false by our format - the choice to get on route two was there, since I oh-so-generously kept all the choices open. Anyways, have fun with the next couple scenes, all 13 of you!

#votestaynight #fate #fate stay/night #fate route #DEAD END

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salarta · 1 year ago

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youtube

As I played this in Beat Saber tonight, I felt one way about it. Then as I've digested it more, I'm feeling an additional way.

The first way is that it feels like it speaks to some stuff I've dealt with online elsewhere. There's a lot of people out there who try to weaponize things they've been through, or try to spin stuff into sounding like it's a personal affront for their own ends, or sometimes even just lie because it suits their personal interests. There are manipulative types out there that see how genuine expression can be moving and powerful, and attempt to fake and replicate it because they hope to use that power.

The second way loops back to my Polaris fandom. When I learned of the character, I was actually pretty numb and detached. I didn't really care about much going on in the broader world. I had already spent a good chunk of my life up to that point processing personal things. (Not saying what those things are is intentional. It's my secret, and the core of my soul.)

Fiction resonates deep in you. That's what happened with Lorna. I read and saw what the character had gone through and she connected to that core in a special way I needed.

It's not that I saw myself in the character. I didn't and don't. It can't be described in words because it's far too complex for that.

As I learned more about Polaris, realized her potential and history, that connection started to make meaningful changes within me as I pushed for meaningful changes for the character. I started out dreading interaction in the world and preferring isolation from its troubles. But as that connection built over years, I came to feel a need to get more involved in the world out of necessity.

Before, I felt out of place and out of time, like I and the world did not fit together. A few years later, I had regained enough of myself from the before times to care about how the GG trash affected people. Then a few years after that, I cared enough about the stakes in the 2016 election to vote in it. Since then, I've increasingly ended up in positions of being able to support and save people and things that need me, specifically.

Truthfully, I think Polaris played a huge hand in that as inspiration. Yes, I did the things that needed doing, it was my work and my drive to do the work. But the power of inspiration can't be underestimated either. The character and potential in Polaris did that for me, and still does. This character could have been written as responding to the traumas of her story by just giving up, but even despite so many instances of poor depiction over her existence, the collective creative core of this character had her getting back up and out there to fight the good fight. Even when hack writers have written her running away from the world, she always comes back. She always sticks her head back out and gets involved, and tries to do what she sees as the right thing. Sometimes that right thing involves violence up to and including killing an enemy. Sometimes it's mercy and compassion. By pleasant accident of myriad depictions, she contains multitudes and can think and behave differently depending on the situation and be Lorna (so long as the writer respects who she is and her core).

The song in this post cuts to the heart of my personal evolution in tandem with what I've gotten out of Polaris over the past 15 years (starting next year). Sure, this character isn't the sole influence on me, but she's a big one. I'm not innocent, in the sense that I've gone through my fair share of things. But in this journey, I've realized two things. First, that I don't have to let those things limit me. And second, while it's hard and painful and takes time to move forward, it's worth all that for the benefits that come out of it for you and others. You can't stay paralyzed by the past, and you certainly can't trick yourself into thinking everything's the same as it was before. But you can pick yourself up and do something.

Truthfully, there are still times where I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be here. But since I am, and I have no intention of ever changing that, I should at least try to do and experience some good until that's not true anymore.

I'm deliberately not putting tags on this. I don't want it popping up with tag searches.

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votestaynight2 · 1 year ago

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5th Day - omen (Scene 4)

"――――――――" No, this is an important matter. I can't let other people handle it when it was my idea in the first place. It's not in good faith if I don't ask her myself.

…Oh. I hear the doorbell. "Excuse me." I hear Sakura's voice from the entrance. I guess I should strike while the iron's hot and go ask her right now.

"Oh, hello, Senpai. Are you about to cook dinner?" "Yeah. I'm going to cook by myself today, so you can relax. But please look after Fuji-Nee. She lost confidence in herself because Saber beat her mercilessly. Try to finish her off and play something like Othello with her."

"Oh, that's terrible, Senpai. Today was a hard day for Fujimura-Sensei." "…Oh yeah, she did mention something about that. Then play shogi with her."

"Shogi, huh? Okay, Fujimura-Sensei is the master at that. She beats me even when she gives me a handicap."

Sakura's in a good mood. Her bruise appears to be healing, and her earlier gloominess seems to have disappeared. Yeah, this is a good time to ask.

"So, Sakura. I know it's a bit sudden, but could you stay over at my place starting tonight?" "Huh――――? Stay over at your place…?" "I'm telling you not to go back to the Matou household for a while. Let's see… I want you to stay over for like a week. Oh, I already got Fuji-Nee's approval."

"……" Sakura's face stiffens. She stares at me, as if peering into my mind.

"―――I know I'm being unreasonable. But I'll have you stay over no matter what. I don't care what you think of me, but please stay at my place for a while."

"――――――――" Sakura doesn't answer. She stares at me silently…

"――――Why is that?" …And then asks me that question.

"……" I can't tell her why. I can't tell her that Shinji's a Master, and anything else would just be a lie. Everyone has their secrets. I'm a guy, so I have many secrets I can't tell Fuji-Nee or Sakura.

…There are things you just can't say, not even to the people most important to you. But that's also why I can't lie. Sakura's an important family member to me, so I can't lie to her.

"……" The air feels like it's freezing over. The silence seems to last forever, and Sakura hangs her head awkwardly. I put my stupid brain to work, trying to come up with something to say.

"Do I really have to tell you, Sakura?" She doesn't respond. Instead, she just looks at me with a concerned expression. "…Is it because you're worried about me?" And she clearly states this.

"―――Yeah, I'm worried about you. It'll help me out if you stay here." …Her long hair sways. Sakura nods in response… …She answers not with her words, but with a brilliant smile.

After eating dinner, one only needs to take a bath and go to sleep. This is common knowledge, barely worthy of mention. So there's no problem. Something so mundane couldn't possibly cause a problem.

But…

"…Um, Fujimura-Sensei. I need to discuss something with you…" "What is it? Go ahead and ask me." "Um… Well……"

"Oh, right. You need something to change into. Hmm, I guess there are school uniforms at my place. I can give you some of my clothes if you don't mind. Oh, or would you rather go to your place to get some clothes?" "…No, I would rather not go home, since I wouldn't be able to come back here. Um, about Nii-san…"

"Oh, that's all right. I just called your place and got your grandfather's permission. He said he doesn't mind having you over at my place since I'm a teacher." "R-Really!? Then I can really stay over here!?" "Yup. So, about your change of clothes… you don't mind using my pajamas, right? Oh, do you want to use the same underwear too?"

"Oh… No, um… I think your bra would be too tight on me…" "Hm. Yeah, you have big boobs. ……………Give me some of that." "Kyaaaaaaaaaaaa! What are you doing, Sensei!?" "Ahahahahaha, I'm just joking. …But this is troubling. I don't have a bra your size. Are you the kind that keeps your bra on when you sleep?"

"Uh… um, yes." "Yeah, people with big boobs tend to do that. But isn't it uncomfortable?" "…I-It is, but what you do is………"

"I see, I see! It sure is good to be young! Then I'll get the guys at my place to buy some for you by tomorrow morning. So don't worry, just go ahead and take your bath." "……"

"――――――――!" S-So why are you two having this conversation right in front of me!? I'm a guy! If you two talk about that, I won't even be able to look at Sakura without thinking…

"Ohhh? Why the red face, Shirou? Are you curious about what Sakura-chan had to say?" "――――! H-Heh, what are you talking about? It's a secret between you two. I didn't hear it, and I'm not curious!"

"Oh, really? Then I'll give you an interesting piece of info. Sakura-chan is an 85. She's an E-cup. Isn't it amazing? It's 13 centimeters bigger than last year. I bet you noticed it too. How sexy her body is and how much you want to touch her."

"Y-You――――!" "F-Fujimura-Sensei――――! I told you in secret so that he wouldn't hear it!! Why are you telling him like that!?"

"Huh? Huh? Kyaaaaa!?"

"You――――idiot, Fuji-Nee…" I finish my thought in a whisper. Fuji-Nee falls to Sakura's counterattack. Sakura's face is red, and she is trying to cover Fuji-Nee's mouth.

…Sakura… I understand wanting to prevent Fuji-Nee from talking, but if you keep this up, you'll kill her…

"Haa, haa, haa―――wow, I didn't know you were that strong, Sakura-chan. I'm surprised that you came to stop my breath right away." "Geez! Please contemplate your actions, Fujimura-Sensei!" Sakura gets away from Fuji-Nee. ――――Naturally… Our eyes meet.

"Oh." "――――Ehh, um, the towel's in the dressing room." "O-Okay…! Um excuse me for a while, Senpai…!"

Sakura hurries out to the hallway. "Oh――――" But if she runs like that…

"Ow… I hit my nose……" …I wanted to warn her that she'd fall… …But she exceeds my expectations and runs straight into the wall.

"Are you all right, Sakura!?" Was she that eager to get away? "Yeah, I'm all right. I'm fine, so I'm going to go take a bath." Sakura disappears into the hallway.

"――――Phew." With Sakura gone, I relax. …As tense as things were getting, I would've had to flee the room in embarrassment if she hadn't left first.

"――――Hah." "…What? Go ahead and say it if you want to say something, you failure of a teacher."

"Noooothing. I'm just thinking how hard it must be for Sakura-chan. I bet Sakura-chan was even more embarrassed in front of you."

"I-I'm not blushing! Hey, Sakura is like a family member to me. She's cooked for me and we've eaten together for a long time! I-I'd be a failure as her Senpai if I were embarrassed!"

"Oh, so you don't want to be a failure?" "Of course not. Sakura is Shinji's sister. If I'm having a friend's sister over, I have to take care of her."

"What…? Oh, I see now. I just thought you were dense, but that's part of it too, huh?" Fuji-Nee sighs. This is troubling.

"Sakura-chan has a lot of trouble ahead of her." "Hey, where are you going?" "I'm going to the dressing room. I have to go get Sakura-chan some change of clothes. You can go to the outbuilding and prepare a room for her. Get her some new sheets, okay?" Fuji-Nee leaves after giving me an order.

"…Heh. Stay here, Saber. I'm going to go prepare the guest room." I leave after seeing Saber nod.

I make the bed and check the furniture. I decided to have Sakura use a guest room that isn't normally used. This room is more suited to her, and the door can be locked. …Sakura's a girl, so that should be better for her.

"…Well, it's not like Fuji-Nee made me choose this room." I make the bed. This bed has never been used. The moment I think that Sakura will sleep in this bed tonight…

'――――I bet you noticed it too.'

"――――!" …Indecent thoughts fill my head.

"D-Don't be stupid! I―――" …I already know that, without being told. I've seen Sakura hit puberty, getting more beautiful by the day. It was a good thing, but I also persuaded myself not to notice it. I've always told myself that she's Shinji's sister and that she only comes to cook for me because she feels guilty about what Shinji did.

"…It's been a year and a half, hasn't it? It's nothing Sakura should care about." The accident that caused me to quit the archery club… I injured my shoulder, he complained about the burn, and I took the opportunity to leave the club. …And Sakura proposed to help me out until my injury healed.

She was like a child back then. She waited for me in front of my house one day, but it took two hours of awkward silence before she worked up the courage to say she wanted to help me.

"―――That shy Sakura is the rising star of the archery club now. Man, how a person can change."

Sakura is cheerful now. I first met her four years ago when I went to Shinji's house after getting to know him.

She was quiet and had a habit of hiding her face with her hair. …Well, she still is, but she was really lifeless back then. She always looked depressed and would just absent-mindedly stand there. Considering that, it's wonderful to see how Sakura is doing now. It relieves me to see Sakura, the girl who only used to look downcast, smile.

'I bet you noticed it too. How sexy her body is, how much you want to touch her.'

"――――――――" …I don't really know. She was always just my underclassman. But recently, that changed. …I don't know if it happened recently or if I only started to notice it just now. ―――Or… Was she so close to me that I didn't have to notice?

"…Damn. It's been peaceful until now. So why…" Why is my mind going crazy from just having Sakura stay over? I'm being inconsiderate of her. I'll finish cleaning and show her to her room――――

"Huh? Where's Sakura, Saber?" "I do not know. She is not here yet, so I would assume she is still in the bath." "…? But it's been an hour already."

…Well, perhaps she takes long baths. After all, she has more places to wash――――

"―――! Stop, stop, stop…! Don't imagine indecent things!" I shake my head and sit down at the table. I pour myself some tea and drink it.

"――――Phew." I shake off the image in my head and relax. …Then. "Shirou. Does Sakura have bad eyesight?" Saber asks me a strange question.

"…? No, Sakura has good eyesight. I think she has 1.5 vision." "I see. She often runs into walls, so I was worried that she might have bad vision."

"Oh, I see. Thanks for worrying, but Sakura's fine. She's clumsy now because she's tired. She's usually more reliable than me."

"I hope so. …But even in that case, it is a problem if she is tired enough to mistake the wall for a door. This is only my personal opinion, but I believe it was not caused by fatigue."

"――――――――" That's a very natural conclusion. Even if you're tired, you still shouldn't be running into walls.

"……" Where is Sakura anyway? Even if she's taking a bath, an hour is too long. I――――

#votestaynight

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sleepy-eepy-head · 2 years ago

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Time for Beam Saber Character Thoughts (gabbin' about Ilia)

I've been thinking a lot lately about my Beam Saber character (what else is new) and specifically his relationship with his emotions.

I picture Ilia as being very sensitive as a kid, the kind who would cry and get really upset with little provocation because he just feels things so hard. As is usually the case, this didn't go uncommented upon by his family, so he tried to train himself to be stronger, which unfortunately meant bottling all those feelings up and conditioning himself into thinking he was being unreasonable whenever he was upset (definitely not speaking from experience lol).

Ilia loves machines, and I think in a way he's kind of envious of them. They're objects that are really really good at doing very specific things very efficiently, unbothered by how bad things are in the world or emotional turmoil that keeps humans from achieving great things. Ilia definitely saddles his self worth on his engineering abilities and how useful he is on any given team he's on, so he's happiest when he can feel like a reliable, well oiled machine (he also likes machines because they're void of gender but he's not ready to talk about that quite yet).

Ilia grew up poor in the Ascension, which is controlled by a fascist regime, so even before Ilia joined the military to become an engineer he saw a lot of bad shit, and he wasn't able to process that trauma properly. He developed a kind of mentality about people that went something like... he sees good in people and genuinely wants to be kind and help people, but he also knows that those people can be taken away easily, so he has to take steps to make sure that if a relationship ends for any reason, it doesn't affect him too deeply. So he tends to view relationships as transactional; he provides them with his skills, they provide companionship and hopefully affection. Another thing to oil the machine and keep it working.

This definitely carried over into his military career and is relationship with his former partner Jericho, who was a member of the engineering team on his old squad. Ilia was kind of rigid as a partner, who while very affectionate and loving, didn't really know how to let himself go, if that makes sense? His work always came first, and Ilia viewed his relationship with Jericho still very much as an emotional and sexual transaction (even though he did care about him a lot), while Jericho saw it as something deeper. Ilia felt more himself when began to fall in love with Judith (his mech, lol) because he felt such a kinship with her as a fellow "machine." He felt like he could truly be himself around her.

And of course, there are times when the facade breaks and Ilia gets upset, angry, and emotional, because he never stopped being that highly sensitive person he always was. Even so, he sees succumbing to these things as a weakness and becomes the mayor of Beating Yourself Up-ville over it quite often. As I continue to play Ilia, I'm really looking forward to getting to a point with him where he can see those feelings as a strength and not a weakness (again, just like me for real). And eventually let him be honest with his feelings about having a queer body, but that's a WHOLE other post.

#LONG post #oc: illia cassatt

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envysea · 4 years ago

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I’m gonna sign up for a gym membership tomorrow. There’s one within 5min walking distance of me. They’re running a promo right now too. They also have a cubicle style system so I will be able to still distance myself from others.

I just need...something?

I’m such a hot mess right now. And a gym less than a block away from me for $15 a month is so appealing. I’m getting a revision for my top surgery in a month and really want to put on a bit of muscle to help define my pecs.

The weather is cooling and I won’t be able to go swimming with my dog anymore. The gym being so close means I can go in without a big time commitment. I can even walk, won’t need to get into the car.

I just need someway to take care of myself and feel good about myself. The stress of the pandemic has made that so hard. I’ll wear my mask, still not see my friends, go shopping once a week.

I think this cubicle gym will be good for me mentally and physically and their set-up means I should be able to still practice social distancing. Even still I stress and worry it’s the wrong thing to do. Even though I so desperately need it. I’ve been talking myself in and out of it for weeks now but after seeing videos of their set up I feel more confident about going forward with it. They were a privacy focused gym before the pandemic so their set up is probably as safe as it can get.

#naomi talk a lot #I haven't been able to talk myself into jogging with my dog #only walking and swimming #also haven't played beat saber in a while #I just need something else #something to get me out and taking care of myself #I have been brushing my teeth though #so I'll take the self care victories where I can get them #just trying to build off of that

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haveyouseenthisskeleton · 2 years ago

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How about s/o taking skeletons out to Jurassic park before the dinosaur outbreak

Undertale Sans - He's the annoying guy who's talking science with everyone and got offended when he saw the velociraptors because clearly they are not velociraptors they have no wings! Where did those scientists had their PhD? He's just angry now! That's bullshit! The security couldn't intervene because the T-Rex got out of their enclosure. You are so embarrassed you wish a pterodactyl kidnaps you.

Undertale Papyrus - You made the mistake to go in the shop first. Papyrus saw all these dinosaurs action figurines and... You lost him. Papyrus doesn't care about the real dinosaurs anymore, he just want to complete his collection and OMG is that a Archaeopteryx?! He never saw a figurine like that before! Please, please, please, can you buy it for him? Welp. This is where your bank account dies. You can say no to Papyrus.

Underswap Sans - You and Honey are screaming after Blue who is running in the triceratops pen, chased by the security. He is faster than anyone. He jumped on the nearest dinosaur, which panicked and ran at full speed, Blue laughing hysterically on its back. You and his brother decided you don't know him and that you saw nothing. If he is arrested, he did that to himself.

Underswap Papyrus - He's the only grown up sitting in the baby dinosaurs enclosure, and he has dinosaurs babies and human children everywhere around him. He could get used to it. He's staying there all day long, petting cute babies and playing with kids. You found him asleep at the end of the day, waiting for you to pick him like all the children.

Underfell Sans - He was confused why there was a goat in the T-Rex enclosure and suddenly, the goat disappeared and the huge head of the T-Rex appeared in front of the glass. He jumped out of fear so hard his intincts kicked in and he ran out of the attraction like his life depended on it. Lol, when he learned the T-Rex escaped, he fainted. Thank god, skeletons are not that interesting for huge dinosaurs.

Underfell Papyrus - He's not impressed. He could clearly take all of these dinosaurs in one-vs-one fight. That's just giant Alphys. He's sure they are all cowards. The only species to gain his respect were the saber tooth cats. He thinks they are cute.

Horrortale Sans - Uh... A pterodactyl thought he was an egg cracking and took him back to its nest. Now he is just sitting with eggs, a pterodactyl cuddling against him and he's confused. He can hear Willow screaming somewhere, so he just waits. Someone will come and fetch him eventually, right?

Horrortale Papyrus - He's feeding the diplodocus and since he is taller, all of them comes to eat in his hands. Everyone is jealous but Willow is having the time of his life. These are just very big cows, but they're nice like them. He wants one in his farm, but he doesn't know how he could carry it there. He needs to think more.

Swapfell Sans and Papyrus - "bro, look at this one." "YES, IT HAS... LOTS OF SHARP TEETH. AN ALLOSORUS IT SAYS." "pfff, it looks like the queen when she's pissed at you. must be her mom or something since she's so old." "IT LACKS OF FUR. AND EARS. IDIOT." "well, i mean, we never saw the queen without it's fur. she can be a reptilian for all we know." "I am what now?" The two skeletons jumped when two huge strong hands closed on their shoulders. The Queen doesn't look very please. Rus laughs nervously and teleports out of here. Nox just sighs. Welp. That's enough dinosaurs for one day.

Fellswap Gold Sans - He's beating up tiny orange dinosaurs while laughing like a psychopath, claiming "TAKE THIS STUPID ALPHYS ANCESTORS, I'LL MAKE SURE YOU NEVER HAVE LINEAGE YOU STUPID REPTILIANS!" The security guards and the keepers are watching blankly, wondering how they could even stop him because he looks very scary. Suddenly, the mother spinosaurus came out of the bushes, extremely pissed off. Wine is not laughing anymore. Lots of sharp teeth. Shit. He's going to get beat by Alphys grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-mother, isn't it?

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - He's crying in shock as he's looking the big bad T-Rex crunching the cute baby goat. He needs to find the goats. He's going to save the goats. This one won't be dead for nothing.

#undertale #underswap #underfell #horrortale #swapfell #fellswap gold #undertale ask blog #undertale asks #undertale imagines #undertale headcanons

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americancowgirl19 · 3 years ago

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Peaceful Mornings

Summary: You reflect on your life leading up to this peaceful and lazy morning in bed with your lovers.

Warnings: Angst, mentions of abuse, mentions of war, fluff

Reader: Gender Neutral Jedi Reader

Pairings: Rex x Gender Neutral Reader x Ahsoka

Word Count: 1,819

A/n: So, I planned on making this multiple detailed parts. This takes place after the clone wars and after everything happened and the ‘series’ I had in mind would happen during the clone wars. If this is popular and if people like it and want the series then I’ll write it. It’ll go over you with your first master and everything leading up to this one shot. Also, I kinda made Ahsoka a little older but it’s not specified really. Let me know if you’d be interested in what I mentioned before!

Masterlist

You were the first of the three to wake up. It’s early in the morning. So early that the Takodanan sun hasn’t even thought about warming the sky just yet. You briefly wonder how many hours you managed to rest but you also know that it’s useless to attempt sleeping any longer.

Despite the sun not being in the sky the room isn’t pitch black. There’s a dim lamp on in the corner of the room. It had been your idea to leave a light on during the night. The dark plays mean tricks to the mind. Especially minds that have been so tainted by war, betrayal, and death like not only yours but your two lovers that lay on to your left.

As if just remembering them your head turns from looking toward the ceiling to the Togruta directly beside you. Without lifting your head you can just manage to see the silhouette of the clone that rests on the other edge of the bed. You sensed they were both deep asleep and you made no more to wake them. Just because you couldn’t sleep didn’t mean they shouldn’t.

This is normal. You didn’t get much sleep these days. Neither did the other two but they managed a few more hours than you did. Perhaps it was because if they awoke too early they put in the effort to return to sleep while you never attempted it.

You didn’t enjoy sleeping. You couldn’t remember the last time you rested peacefully. You always had nightmares, no matter what you tried. Some days you could sleep through them and wake up as normal as one can but there were days that you awoke in a cold sweat or even screaming.

You weren’t the only one who was plagued with nightmares. You’ve all been through shit. Even though neither of you have shot a blaster or turned on a saber in years the war continued to follow you all around. You were used to it. Used to living with it. You just had to keep moving forward.

You didn’t want to think about the war or the nightmares or the fact that you had slept less than normal this night. Instead you focused on the woman beside you.

She’s beautiful. You were smitten with her from the moment you saw her. The more you got to know her the harder you fell. She had a fierce heart and a curious mind. She could fight but also negotiate.

You had met Ahsoka after you met Rex. Originally you were the padawan of Jedi Pong Krell. He had taken you in while he was still loyal to the Jedi. He was kind, in his own way, back then. When he had his vision of the future he changed.

You shivered at the thought of your first master. Krell had always been rough around the edges but once he started to fall to the dark side he became a monster. He cared little for life and craved destruction. You were so young back then. Young and afraid.

Your body held multiple scars all thanks to Krell’s demented mind. He used physical beatings to get his harsh lessons across. Young, afraid, and naïve.

It wasn’t until the battle of Umbara did you get a sense of hope. You had thought you were destined to live a life with Krell looming over you. You doubted he’d ever allow you to leave for the Jedi trials. You were already older than most padawans.

It was when the council had sent you and Krell to relieve Anakin for a short while that you met Rex. You shared his frustrations regarding Krell but you didn’t dare speak about it. Krell had beaten the phrase ‘speak only when spoken too’ into you early in his fall to the dark side. You were terrified to speak out against Krell.

Even back then Rex could read you like a book. He was patient and gentle as he tried to coax you out of your shell. He assured you that you were safe with him. He assured you that he wasn’t going to hurt you.

You tried to help the clones survive the battle, and your master, as much as you can. Rex could see the fighting spirit you thought had vanished. He could see how strong you were when you thought you were a coward. He gave you the courage to go against Krell. It’s something you’ll forever be grateful for.

When Krell died, by the strike of your saber, the council questioned you. It was a long process but the truth was uncovered. They learned about the abuse and the harsh teachings.

There was talk about sending you away. They feared Krell had taught you the dark side. They feared you would end up like him but Rex knew better.

When Rex heard what was happening he explained his opinion to Anakin. He explained over and over until convinced Anakin to step up. Only Anakin already had a padawan and no one else was willing to risk taking you in. No one other than Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Obi-Wan retaught you the ways of the jedi. It was a long journey but eventually you didn’t flinch every time someone raised a hand and you weren’t afraid to speak up when you thought your voice needed to be heard.

Being Obi-Wan’s padawan meant that you spent a lot of time with Anakin and his forces. It was through this that you met Ahsoka. She was younger than you but it wasn’t a big gap.

As time passed not only did you and Ahsoka grow close but you and Rex. Whenever you worked with the 501st you were nearly inseparable from Ahsoka and Rex.

Somewhere along the way you realized that Rex and Ahsoka were together... Romantically. You tried to step back but they wouldn’t let you. The war was long and hard but everything was worth it when you had the two of them.

It hurt when you weren’t working with the 501st. There were times you’d go months without seeing them. You would get jealous at times knowing they had each other while you had to wait for your moments with them. They always made up for lost time whenever you managed to return.

Then Order 66 happened. You weren’t with Ahsoka and Rex when it happened. You were with your master facing Grievous. You never expected Cody, someone who had been so crucial in your recovery from the trauma Krell had put you through, to betray and try to kill you and you master. It crushed you. You and Obi-Wan barely survived.

When you made it back to Coruscant you wanted nothing more than to find Rex and Ahsoka but you couldn’t leave Obi-Wan. With a heavy heart you stayed with him during his mission to find Anakin. You went to Mustafar with him. Obi-Wan battled Anakin while you tried to save Padme.

When the twins were born and Obi-Wan was scent to Tatooine you followed him. You saw him give Luke away and waited until Obi-Wan was settled before you unloaded everything onto him. You feared that he would be so disappointed in you but he only smiled at you softly and encouraged you to search for them.

You knew they were alive. You didn’t know how but you could sense it. You found a ship and let the desert planet. You hated leaving Obi-Wan but he was determined to stay near Luke to keep him safe and you were determined to find the loves of you lives.

It happened by chance. You were on some planet refueling when they found you. They had been traveling searching for you while trying to escape the Empire. It was pure luck.

The three of you traveled a long time before settling on Takodana. The three of you knew of the war happening around you. You helped out where you could but the none of you devoted your lives like you had during the Clone Wars. Instead you devoted your lives to each other.

“Cyar’ika,” Rex mutters softly. His voice is low with a rough edge from just waking up. Your eyes snap from Ahsoka to him. His head it propped up on one hand while the other gently glides over Ahsoka’s hip. She lets out a soft sigh and moves back against him in her sleep. The sight makes you smile. “How long have you been awake?” He asks, keeping his voice quiet not wanting to wake up your shared wife.

“Not long,” You whisper, not knowing if you were speaking truthfully or not. You had been so deep in thought that hours could have passed.

“Come closer,” He says, lifting his hand from her hip toward you. You smile and shuffle toward the two of them. Ahsoka’s shifts again to snuggle into your chest. You kiss the top of her head before looking up at Rex.

“I love you,” You mutter. He smiles and leans over Ahsoka to kiss you. You sigh kissing him back without hesitation. “I’m going to get breakfast started,” You tell him when he pulls back.

“Stay,” He whispers, reaching over Ahsoka to rest his hand on your hip. “Just a little longer,” He pleads. You look into his eyes and know that you’ll never be able to deny him. You relax even more against the bedding and he smiles victoriously.

Stealthily, Rex pulls the covers off his body and climbs over Ahsoka. You grin laying onto your back. He settled between your legs, glancing at your wife to assure himself he didn’t wake her before his eyes return to you.

“You still got it old man,” You tease, winking at him. Rex smirks as if to say ‘did you ever doubt it?’. His head lowers and he snuggles into the crook of your neck. Your arms wrap around him welcoming his dead weight. It was comforting and helped keep you grounded when all your mind wanted to do was fly away.

“We need to go to the market,” He mutters. “We need supplies,” You hum in agreement. “Later,” He decides causing you to smile.

“Later, love,” You agree, kissing his shoulder. In the corner of your eye you notice Ahsoka’s eyes open. She blinks a few times to try and wake up. When her eyes focus they take in Rex snuggling into you. She smiles her beautiful sleeping grin. You extend your arm over her head and shift Rex to the side slightly. She eagerly snuggles up to you and Rex.

You could never thank Rex enough for helping you break free from Krell. That moment had changed your life for the better. If going through that hell meant you got to hold the both of them in your arms you’d gladly go through it over and over for just a moment with the both of them.

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sl-walker · 3 years ago

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Blindsided, Part 6

Read prior parts here. Sign up to be tagged when this fic (or any of mine!) updates here. Read it on AO3 here.

Section warnings: There’s violence on both sides, including Qui-Gon blinding Maul in flashback, and Obi-Wan continues to hand Prin’s ass to him in the present.

Duality of vision. Obi-Wan existed as two people at once during recall, a nauseating sensation.

Prin was nervous; he and Master Jinn had finally managed to get a lead on what Master Jinn was certain was at least one Sith, given the tattoos--

Markings. Nightbrother markings. It figured the Jedi would not bother to distinguish between those things.

--on the zabrak, in blood red and black. Before this, Prin had been a middling knight, but this could be enough to make him feel like a real Jedi, instead of an imposter. Defending the light from the forces of darkness.

Some part of Obi-Wan felt pity there, for the knight whose memory he had plundered; that was another reason this was so difficult. It was too easy to lose the distinction between what was his and what was not.

The law enforcement officials had managed to catch an informant playing double-agent and had found out where the Sith was -- were? -- going to strike next. Master Jinn had spearheaded their plans; he was very determined to catch up to them. When Prin asked why, that was when Master Jinn revealed that the young human man was thought to be one of their lost charges; that his name was Obi-Wan Kenobi and he had been thought lost with the watchman who had been bringing him back to the Temple.

That pulled on Prin’s heart--

--Obi-Wan grimaced, even as he was dragging Prin-- dragging Novo, the Jedi-- over to the bed to unlock the collar on Maul’s neck. He wanted to ask Prin why he had even cared about Obi-Wan's fate; he also wanted to shake the Jedi for having any part of collaring Maul and demand to know, Do you know what a nightbrother is? Do you know what they’re bred and enslaved for? But there wasn’t time to beat some sociology into a Jedi right now.

--the idea of a little boy being stolen and abused by a Sith. Master Jinn was more cautious because he thought it possible, even probable, that Obi-Wan was corrupted, a willing participant in whatever Sithly ambition--

Not entirely truth, but not entirely a lie. “Unlock that collar,” Obi-Wan ordered, voice rough, giving Novo a shake from where he had hauled the Jedi by the back of his tunic, lightsaber still at the ready to deal a lethal blow if it came to that. Novo was trembling hard, still gasping for air after having this memory ripped from him, but after a moment, he reached out to press his thumb to the reader on the collar ringing Maul’s neck.

--but Prin was going to reserve judgment and see for himself. They managed to get there ahead of the Sith and arrange for the targeted politician to follow certain patterns that would make him an easy target, and then they had set the ambush. Prin had followed Obi-Wan, taking in the sight of the young man’s tattered clothes and hunched posture, but once he knew where Obi-Wan was going, he signaled the targeted politician to stay inside and under guard and returned to Master Jinn, who was waiting by the most logical route of approach, if one was looking to commit murder--

It was galling how they had been anticipated and then set up like that. Jinn was indeed a formidable foe. Obi-Wan’s lip curled up as he deactivated the saber, shoved the hilt into his pocket, then used the Force to hold Novo up in the air, putting enough pressure on the Jedi’s lungs to make him have to fight for air while he used his hands to very gently get that collar off of Maul’s neck.

Maul didn’t even stir; his breathing was so slow that he had to have been heavily sedated. Up close, the number of scrapes and cuts and burns and resolving bruises told the story almost as well as the memory did, never mind the gauze cut across his face, covering his eyes.

--and when the hoverbike came by, Master Jinn came out of the shadows, green blade igniting and going into the stabilizers for the anti-grav skids almost in a single motion; it sent the bike out of control, crashing into the corner of a building and throwing the black-clad rider off of it even as it disintegrated into pieces and flames. The hood on the coat the Sith was wearing fell off to reveal his menacing coloration. Prin ignited his blade, hands shaking, and made to advance and force a surrender, but then the Sith managed to get to his feet, teeth bared and eyes glowing gold-- and Master Jinn advanced--

It was horrible seeing it play out; even though it was already over, Obi-Wan wanted to shout a warning. In the present, he was unhooking an IV and still holding a Jedi aloft, squeezing Novo hard enough to distract him from anything but breathing; in Prin’s mind’s eye, he was aware of the Jedi’s fear of Maul, and the distortion in how Prin viewed Maul because of it, seeing someone both bigger and more menacing than Maul actually was.

Even through that filter, of Prin’s intimidated and subjective interpretation, Obi-Wan could force enough distance to see for himself how shaken Maul was by the crash and how shocked he was as he crawled to his feet, staggering, righting, igniting his blade to take a stand--

My brave boy, Obi-Wan thought, proud and devastated at once, unbuckling the restraints and rage renewed for the fact that they had stripped his lover naked, but then had put a collar on his throat.

Where Prin had seen a monster, an animal, Obi-Wan saw only courage.

--the fight was over quickly; Master Jinn was one of the Order’s finest swordsmen, and even though they traded a few blows, Master Jinn had the Sith on his back foot, driving him back into the heat of the wreckage from the hoverbike; in a bid to give himself maneuvering room away from the flames, the Sith leapt forward, trying to overpower Master Jinn with speed and ferocity, but Master Jinn’s superior height gave him an advantage and he slashed out with his blade, the tip of it coming across the bridge of the Sith’s nose in a scant opening--

The Sith barely had time to react; he made some small noise of pain -- and Obi-Wan echoed it -- then fell back again, but the lawmen finally arrived and fired stunbolts at him until he went down.

Obi-Wan turned his gaze to where Novo was clawing at his chest, pulling in little sips of air, face deep red and tears streaming. For a moment, the raw fury he felt was so much that he thought he could crush Novo into a wet bag of shattered bone, but he held back as much because it would intensify the chase after them as out of some pity for the relatively pathetic knight, instead choosing to fling Novo all the way across the clinic to smash into the wall, cracking it.

He was just about to gather Maul up and make a break for anywhere else, though, when Jinn came in.

@shadowmaat - @doorsclosingslowly - @emphasisonthehomo - @blackat-greneys - @vengeful-nerd - @sammelbegriff - @kenobispunk

#obi wan kenobi #maul #obimaul #blindsided #tags under the read-more #warnings in the header

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phoenixyfriend · 4 years ago

Text

Thoughts on “Auntie Soka and Little Leia” now that I’ve actually got it posted:

Call it a director’s cut! The process of actually writing the thing, and also jokes made along the way. Link to the actual fic.

Unfortunately, I don’t have the energy for image descriptions, even the text screenshots. Might come back that later. Most of this was DMs with @atagotiak.

This was an entire thing before I even started writing:

Before I decided on ages and stuff Ahsoka, to Jango, who has had zero contact with Kaminoans: Okay I know I'm a Jedi kid so you hate me but this toddler is your clone from the future. Jango, tired: What the FUCK are you talking about. Rex, barely able to talk: Don't you dare leave me with him, Commander! Ahsoka: I'm not going to leave you I just--I'm so tired I'm so fucking tired I haven't slept in five days and someone tried to kidnap Leia two days ago I am so fucking tired I need help

Ben: [twenty years of depression followed by a 'now I'm safe' breakdown over the course of weeks] Sokari: [whatever the FUCK this mess is]

When Ahsoka mentions there only being three other Jedi at the time of her death, I was thinking Kanan, Yoda, and Obi-Wan (Leia told her about the latter two living past her). She's not counting anyone that received training after the Temple fell, and she didn’t know about Cal.

When Leia says “I was adopted and raised by one of the founders of the rebellion, a movement built on the desire to instate freedom and democracy in a galaxy that had lost even the pretense.”

Depa: I'm no therapist but I diagnose you with "incredibly fucked up." Ahsoka: yeah, that’s fair

"Why did you pick Depa for--" She's pretty and I'm gay. Also because of the Kanan thing But mostly I'm gay "It's not a visual medi--" GAY

Empty of context beyond general post-fic AU: "Hey Sokari, we need to engage in psychological warfare against this individual and--" "I'm going to break into his office and leave a threatening note on his desk and leave no other sign that I was there. He'll see that his security is nothing and the only reason he isn't dead is because I'm too nice to kill him." "...okay, not what we were planning, but that works. Why is that your first choice?" "I really like breaking and entering, it's soothing." Ben just standing there with a bland smile like This Is Normal.

"We need someone to infiltrate a highly guarded facility in hostile territory." "So we're sending the Torrent kids?" [sigh] "We're sending the Torrent kids."

Rex and Sokari insist on both going by "Torrent" even though Rex could be a Fett. Jango really wants him to be a Fett. Rex has too many grudges to agree to being a Fett for... a while.

I really hope it's blatantly obvious that Ahsoka's not a reliable narrator for some things Ahsoka: Fett could care less if I died Jango: jfc even if you are older than me I can see you're fucked up. Drink your hot chocolate. Hells. She's got good reason to expect him to hate her as a Jedi! BUT. THAT IS NOT REFLECTIVE OF REALITY

We don’t get a lot of actual characterization for Jango, but the way I played him out here is he has never really parsed that Jedi are people before all this. It's a lot harder to treat them as a monolith when the traumatized former child soldier is having regular breakdowns in your shitty little kitchen

Fett: I respect you Ahsoka: No, don't do that

Ahsoka’s vigilantism is something that, in my mind, she's associating heavily with Zygerria and then the clones.

I figured that she never bothered to learn Quinlan’s teacher’s name but in the process of looking up some basic facts (whether he had a surname), I found that Wookiepedia was forced to give us a VERY wide range of possible death in Legends.

Please take a moment to imagine Quinlan's FACE when Ahsoka initially dismisses him. Quinlan has put a lot of effort into being rogueishly charming! It's very useful for his line of work! He knows to expect either irritation or a return flirtation when he acts like this with people his own age! Ahsoka is not flustered OR rolling her eyes and insulting him, she's just ignoring him and it's a bit of a blow to the ego

This just makes me really happy:

This was the initial comment I made, as a joke What if Maul is just. There. On one of the planets they make a pitstop at. What if Maul exists as the walking problem he is, but fifteen, and Ahsoka immediately tries to kick his ass and drag him back to Coruscant. I do not have room for this plot but What If

Despite not having room for this plot, I proceeded to write this plot.

Maul is kidnapped and it’s the best thing that ever happened to him HE'S FIFTEEN HE'S DUMB AS SHIT AND HAS A BAD ATTITUDE AND YEAH HE'S A DARKSIDER BUT HE'S FIFTEEN

Ahsoka: I sense... Maul [takes off sprinting] Rex: [immediately takes Jango's blaster and runs after her] Jango: Wait who Tholme: Who Quinlan: Who Jango: [looks at Leia] Leia: I don't know who that is either! Ahsoka, already wrestling a teenager to the ground: Oh no, you're a child, REX STUN HIM AND GRAB THE CUFFS, I'M SURE FETT OR THOLME HAS SOME

Fighting him isn't even legal, they have NO evidence of criminal wrongdoing, so first she needs to yell until he admits to something she can fight him about

Ahsoka: When I see Maul, it's on SIGHT Maul: WHO ARE YOU

Ahsoka: The Force didn't give me hands just to NOT throw them when I run into That Crafty Son Of A Bitch

Ben, when they arrive, after the tearful reunion: You... you brought Maul. Ahsoka: Well, yeah, he's fifteen and kinda dumb. I figured we could drag him here and force him into therapy, see what happens. Ben: I can't quite tell through the gag, but I think he's threatening to feed you your own spleen. Ahsoka: Lol, yeah.

Ben is absolutely on team "get Maul therapy" and will fight the Council on rehabilitating the baby Sith But also it's like. Here's your daughter! And your niece! And your daughter's QPP! Also your best friend, but baby, and his teacher, and the biological origin of a number of people you cared for deeply! AND ALSO THE GUY WHO SPENT LITERAL DECADES CRAVING YOUR DEATH, FOR SOME REASON

I just really want Ahsoka lovingly bullying Maul She gives him noogies and the horns don't protect him because girl has reinforced gloves

Maul's only allowed a low-power training saber and his fights with Sokari involve Much Taunting by her and Eventual Screaming by him, and everyone pops by to see: 1. Sokari doing the most absurd flips, for fun. 2. The bullshit that is ataru-shien reverse-grip jar'kai in the hands of someone who makes it work 3. What a Sith lightsaber form looks like 4. Just the general nonsense that is the way these two fight

Tia said “Wrt ridiculous flips. I'm remembering that time she beheaded four Kryst'ad at once.” and I just Rex brings up the quadruple beheading at one point to get someone to stop asking questions and the awkward, horrified silence almost makes him regret it. And then Sokari just snorts and makes a joke about how Rex once speared a slaver point-blank and everyone's just like hello??? "are you two okay" "no"

Maul absolutely starts crushing on Sokari after a 'sword under chin' moment and she's just very "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh you're fifteen, bye" GO MAKE PUPPY EYES AT OBI-WAN OR SOMETHING

The crushes are the worst part of everything, really, she's an attractive young woman that can kick a lot of ass, and a lot of people are into that! Unfortunately, most of those people are a decade younger than she is, mentally, because all the people her actual age look at her and see a child on account of the 17yo body.

It’s almost a good thing she’s in no place mentally for a relationship.

I just want Ahsoka to wear beskar.... I think that would be Nice........

This AU is also what caused this post.

I'm deeply enamored by the idea that Ahsoka can win fights against "older" padawans pretty much unilaterally, even when they team up 2v1 And then she offers to fight 5v1 "But only if I have permission to fight dirty." Ben approves it, a horror show full of "I fought many wars and will scream in your face or kick you in the balls if that's what it takes" follows She wins. There are no permanent injuries, but her reputation certainly gets weirder. Nobody under the rank of Knight agrees to let her fight dirty again. She just lets that stand because, well, she's not actually a padawan, she's thirty-three.

I’m not going to write this but my brain was EVIL and suggested it:

IT WOULD BE REALLY SAD IDK maybe 9yo Anakin has nightmares about what's happening to baby Ahsoka because bullshit about time-traveling force bonds IDK ANYWAY he cries to Sokari about the nightmares and she's like "oh shit" and it's time to go rescue herself from motherfucker unlimited

It's either that or she's like, expecting to welcome mini-me aaaany day now, for like, several months, before she realizes Something Went Wrong. Anakin’s dreams could even start right as she’s starting to realize something’s off.

Obi-Wan has never had a padawan that doesn't at some point bite Even Luke will, when pushed

OH also once the twins get Baby's First Lightsaber (training sabers, not real kyber), Sokari begs to borrow them for a dumb joke and tells Rex to get on her shoulders for a "Grievous Greeting" and they do The Thing

Jango and Ahsoka wrt Quinlan is just “Do I need to beat him up for you” “You realize I’ve beaten up sith lords before?”

JANGO'S TRYING He's just. "Can we be friends? Can I--can I be the guy that just noticeably gets in the way of a creep on the subway so you can be more comfortable without someone making a scene? I'm fucking trying here, give me a hint."

We didn’t actually figure out Jango’s age until this point. The only reason Fett's age matters is for Quinlan making a Wild Oats quip after Jango says he didn't know about Rex until a few weeks ago, and Fett going "How old do you think I am? And how old do you think the kid is?" and Quinlan getting Very Awkward as he does the math. Rex overhears and lets Quinlan sweat for a bit before saying "I'm a genetically-modified clone someone grew in a tube, he didn't know or have reason to know until he saw me with Sokari." Which is like. Eight additional layers of WTF, obviously, but at least Jango gets to avoid awkward wild oats jokes

Like, you’d expect the rebuttal to be ‘he’s my brother just with a biiig age gap’ or ‘he’s my nephew’

I find it very unfortunate for Quinlan that I've decided his defining characteristic in this context is going to be repeatedly putting his foot in his mouth

He’s trying so hard but "That sounds like a cool thing, maybe I'll ask ab--and it's another fucking trauma."

I'm doing Ahsoka&Jango t w i c e (there’s another fic where I’m doing it)

It’s just a fun dynamic! So much resentful respect.

Like she's twenty seconds away from calling him a bitch at any given time and he's just there like "I don't like you but I do see you move like you're about to tell an entire building to get on their knees with their hands in the air and I can respect that" Also she's probably much less judgmental about using blasters than Obi-Wan is The Maul subplot actually started with me daydreaming about Ahsoka grabbing a blaster for Reasons

I like the idea of Jango just deciding the most Useful thing he can do is help teach the Smol how to fight. He's AWKWARD around Rex and Soka because he doesn't know if there's anything he CAN teach them.

I didn’t actually plan for Tholme to figure out the age thing, he just SAID it and I had to sit there like Wait.

Ahsoka, Rex & Leia: ahhh, children Tholme: you say that like you aren’t children

I liked getting to write Rex's little "I have worked with all of them, and they're all Terrible" He loves them But They once got stranded on a planet that didn’t exist and Ahsoka died and Anakin killed a god.

There was research and discussion as to whether Ahsoka could win against Tholme but seeing as she held her own against Vader, and fought Grievous at that physical age without dying, etc.... yeah, the only thing holding her back was her body not being what she was used to, and she’s had a few weeks go adjust.

“I miss being able to just jump off skyscrapers” is such a jedi thing

Jango: I'll take the gun back if he tries to leave, they can't get far before--WHAT THE FUCK He knows Jedi are scary but he’s still not really used to just how over the top ridiculous they are He knows how to deal with Jedi in battle, not Whatever The Fuck These People Are Doing

Rex isn't even a Jedi, he's just so used to working with them. “Oh yes time for free-falling without a parachute again, same shit as always.”

Tia: I’m imagining Jango freaking out and Quinlan and Tholme being like. Concerned but mostly exasperated Clearly if they’re jumping off buildings it must be serious? But jfc they could’ve maybe communicated a bit more?

Leia: I want to finish my juice Tholme: Quin, stay with her while we go figure out what those two are doing. Quinlan: Wait what

Jango: Oh now he’s jumping off a building too??? Tholme: Sokari, you are not registered! You can't legally jump out windows yet! Jango: What the hell is going on? Is this normal?

We don’t necessarily know how often Ahsoka and Maul ran into each other after Mandalore. There was the later thing on Malachor, but other than that I'm just going with the idea that they ran into each other every year or two and just went for the eyes like feral cats

Ahsoka: I need to kick ass and you're coming with me. Rex: Yeah, okay. [several minutes later] Rex: Whose ass are we kicking?

Ahsoka and Rex

Neloms aren’t a SW fruit to the best of my knowledge, I just wanted to mess around with lemons/melons

Jango: you didn’t think any of this through, did you? Rex: you were there, you know we didn’t "When the Jedi says to jump out a window, I jump out a window."

Tholme’s real composed about stalking the ancient nigh-mythical enemy of his people, very “Life is already so goddamn weird”

This fic has been so heavy on the trauma but then I introduce Maul and suddenly it's the worst kind of comedy Nobody is competent, everyone's a little dumb, the bad guy is just grocery shopping

My propensity for banter has turned this into a six-person buddy cop comedy about Maul buying grapes They spend a significant amount to time ineffectually stalking Maul before Quin suggests the sensible option Quinlan just "You remember this is my literal job and specialty right"

Ahsoka sees Maul and all her brain cells go out the window except "Fight good" Usually she doesn’t need to worry about doing things legally. Maybe she needs to worry about someone seeing her do illegal things but she spent the past 15 yrs in a place where her existing was illegal

I feel like he’s also maybe kinda wanting to reassert that yes he is competent. Bc like. Ahsoka’s been kinda condescending this whole time and also can beat everyone up so. It's not his fault that he's actually the youngest person there, but.

Jango is finding this whole being friendly to Jedi thing a lot more overwhelming than he thought it would be. And overwhelming in different ways.

Maul usually signifies things getting worse and more horrifyingly tragic but he's just a dumb teen that they needed to arrest for his own good.

Quinlan: Look, I'm useful! Ahsoka: I've been through hell, wanna hear? Quinlan: NO. I DON'T. WHY.

Quinlan: I understand the concept of joking about your traumas, I do it sometimes myself! But sith hells that’s a lot of trauma.

Quinlan just wanted her to treat him as a Competent Individual, and here she is whipping out stories about Dying and Gods and the Force insists it's the truth and he just???? And apparently emo darksider over there is a Sith. And just, sure. Why not

A lot of people’s interactions with the time travelling disaster lineage is just

Tholme and Fett arguing and Ahsoka's just waiting for a moment to pop in with "Hey, when's the last time either of you worked with the other's culture before this mess? Yeah, that's what I thought."

Much like Leia and Ahsoka hurting each other earlier, and Tholme figuring out the de-aging, we ALSO have Fett’s confrontation with Ahsoka being something the characters just did, rather than something I planned.

FTR the only time I managed to trigger myself while writing this fic was the “your behavior isn’t actually acceptable and we’ve all been trying really hard to give you room to recover but you have to at least make an effort to not be a bitch”

Writing about people having PTSD and symptoms of such: Yay! Writing about people having PTSD and engaging in toxic behavior to cope: Shit Ahsoka had... basically my exact reaction. It's "remind yourself that you're in the wrong, that they have a point, and then be overly formal in the apology because fuck if you accidentally make them feel sorry for you when they're the injured party"

Quinlan: Can we be friends? I mean, you're an asshole, but you're really cool. Let's be friends. (He MIGHT be nursing a crush) (Neat mysterious girl who can beat him up.)

Also he realises she's probably nicer when not having a slow-motion breakdown He's like "Huh, you'll probably be less of an asshole once you've gotten therapy."

...also, she pretty and got Nice Biceps

I love writing a good mental breakdown

I was so close to including a "he tried to kill me" just early enough for Jango to wildly misinterpret as her thinking Quinlan tried to kill her. He'd have been very confused, considering Quinlan's the one that called them down in a panic and currently has Ahsoka having her massive breakdown in his lap But

Tia: I could see Jango interpreting it as idk, Quin resembling someone or for a moment acting like someone who tried to kill her and she had a flashback or something like that

There's absolutely room for a couple reasonable interpretations there And "trapped in a flashback about someone who tried to kill her" is absolutely what's happening! Just. You know. For a different reason. Jango probably wouldn’t assume Quin would hurt her, for one thing he seems to like her, for another even if he did he’s smart enough to pick a way that wouldn’t be so likely to get him caught

I had to step back and actually say “Also I'm just. Wow. I'm really just shoveling QPP Rex&Ahsoka at full speed”

Me, a few weeks ago, joking: Two halves of the same idiot black ops specialist Me, now, entirely seriously: Two halves of the same idiot black ops specialist

Me, belatedly: Oh, Ahsoka being joyfully mean to people was a form of mania she was unconsciously using to build a barrier between herself and her impending meltdown

She went from "just died" to "in charge of Rex and Leia" in like. Two minutes.

Confession: I've been delighting in the mental image of this whole Mess leading Jango to try to retake Mandalore, and Ahsoka loans him a saber for a 1v1 to get the darksaber.

“Can’t I just fight him barehanded? That’s how I did it on Galidraan.” "But the drama, Fett!"

Probably Rex has learned how to use a saber as well, because you never know when you have to borrow a weapon

I later changed my mind to Jango asking her to help, rather than her just sneak-teaching him, but it was funny.

Background nonsense to all this is Ahsoka and Rex, despite Rex being as force-sensitive as a lump of coal, having developed a process where she can extend her sensitivity to him mind-to-mind for weird symbiotic battle trance that scares everyone around them. It’s very similar to Battle meditation.

CONTEXT FOR LEIA BEING WORRIED ABOUT THOLME HIDING THINGS: Tholme is hiding the fact that the Council reached out and told him that the people he picked up might be connected to Ben and Luke, who showed up after the Depa thing but a solid week and change before Jango's ship makes it to the Temple. They asked that he not share that information to avoid getting anyone's hopes up in case the two situations aren't related. Ben and Luke haven't shared enough information for anyone to really be sure if the other three are connected Because the info Tholme has isn't quite the info Jango has, etc. And they can't just say Ben is a future Obi-Wan over comms

I just have a lot of feelings about people trying to do something right and just. Nobody's at fault! Not really! It's just complicated!

Tia: I like how when Ahsoka isn’t doing maladaptive trauma response stuff she’s very mature. And of course she’s had to be but it’s a good like, contrast. Where when she slows down to think about things she’s very sensible

Jango just spends most of this story lowkey wanting Ahsoka to Be His Friend but there's too much baggage that he's only metaphysically responsible for

Local aroace(?) has a squish

Ahsoka: He just wants to get on my good side because of Rex. Jango: I'm pretty sure you could kill an entire army without trying but you wouldn't because you have actual morals and stuff... and when I met you it was because you were killing yourself trying to keep (what appeared to be) children safe... you seem cool please be my friend.......

Ahsoka’s #1 weakness: mountains of trauma Ahsoka’s #2 weakness: she just doesn’t get why so many people think she’s cool and want her to be their (girl)friend

Jango, a 27yo massacre survivor who's killed Jedi masters with his bare hands: [gets lectured on various government structures by a tiny girl that's missing several teeth and needs to sit on books to see the table properly]

Ahsoka was raised in a religious meritocracy but developed all her opinions during a galactic war and then became a vigilante spy, Rex comes from a military cult, Leia is from an inherited monarchy that participates in democracy, Quinlan was originally from what appears to be a dynastic dictatorship, and IDK about Tholme other than that he is also from the religious meritocracy. And in legends Quinlan came to the religious meritocracy after his aunt sacrificed his parents to a vampire cult and then forced him to experience the psychometric echoes of that. There's just. A lot going on.

Leia at least has knowledge about structure and admin in theory that isn't based in either the military or populations under 10k

Jango: I want to be your friend. Ahsoka: Sounds fake.

I am unfairly fond of "Rex destroys a conversation by bringing up his own horrifying childhood and calling it a cult"

"Why does Sokari call you 'Rex'ika'?" "Because she's older than me." "...can I--?" "No."

Nickname privileges are extended ONLY to Ahsoka and older clones. There are no more older clones, so it's just Ahsoka.

Me joking about Star Wars AUs: Would you like a crackship? Me writing actual Star Wars fic: My favorite character type is apparently “too traumatized to have a relationship” so this is at least 90% gen.

I had to pull a scene opening at one point because Ahsoka's skill with not getting shot is actually much less useful than Tholme's clearance levels.

Now I really want a team-up of Ahsoka, Rex, and Jango where they do have to get in a dogfight of the "she flies, we shoot" variety and Fett just has to scream because the speeder thing to catch Maul was one thing, but this....

Ahsoka, before TCW: I know all the traffic rules but I'm not that great at flying! Ahsoka, after TCW: I'm great at flying but if you let me behind the wheel we are absolutely getting arrested.

She went from "knows the rules but doesn't have the skills" to "has the skills but primarily in the form of not getting shot" which! Is delightful! "Bet I can get us through that alley--" "DO NOT"

Jango and Ahsoka are both just very "Is this friendship? Is this camaraderie? My heart's been fried on platonic love by so many murders that I'm not sure anymore." "I've lost a lot of friends. I kind of forgot how to make those."

I have no idea if "hasn't been closer than Alderaan except that one trip to Chandrila" is canon-compliant but ehhhhhhhh It feels plausible enough?

Belatedly realized that I could just explain my optimal Rex&Ahsoka dynamic as just... drift compatible. It's vague enough on the specifics while still digging into the meat of what they mean to each other and how they work together. The terminology is already in existence. I can just use it.

Romantic? Platonic? Familial? Doesn't matter! They're drift compatible.

They are important to each other and that is what matters

I really like the Leia&Quinlan thing. He's just like "This small child needs a friend that isn't super depressed," and decided he's going to be her friend. I keep trying to toss in "Quinlan volunteers to 'baby'sit." She's not much older and she has a Baby Brain, it works out

There's a running bet as to whether Leia will leave the Order the second she turns thirteen, or if she'll let Sokari "train" her for a few years first. And... that’s how I came up with Leia Antilles, Senator of Serenno.

They'll be bullshitting Ben as her new master to "finish out the padawanship" since they can't tell everyone she's really in her thirties and he's conveniently there and already knows everything and was half her master anyway. Like Ben was planning on taking on Luke, but Luke is "six" and even he can't swing that as old enough to be a Padawan, and it's not like Sokari will take more than a handful of years to justify knighthood, sooooooooo

#Ahsoka Tano #Captain Rex #Leia Organa #Jango Fett #Obi Wan Kenobi #time travel #de aging #Phoenix Babbles #Uncle Ben and Little Luke #Auntie Soka and Little Leia #I need to excise the bits that are actually funny on their own

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morganas-pendragons · 4 years ago

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Long Story Short (I Survived) | Din Djarin

Okay, I apparently write for Din now. This is set after It’s A Long Way Down and will feature the same Grey!Jedi reader, I am done with finals and am intending to write a fic between this one and the first one for Chapter 13!

i forgot that din took his helmet off in the first fic i wrote for him, so we’re going to call this - another separate instance in which reader could have seen helmet less din - and change one saber to two

if you’d like to be added to tags for when I write for din, please let me know! until then...

@earthtokace / @demigod-dragonrider-schoolidol / @kyber-queen / @kaikai1324 / @snippy-tano / @fractiouskat / @doctorsteeb

SPOILERS FOR THE BELIEVER

Din is staring down at the Imperial console when he feels it creep up upon him. It’s a niggling fear, one that sinks deep down into the pit of his stomach and very nearly disappears - which gives him hope that it’ll just dissipate and die - until realization smacks him right back into reality.

“You’ll have to take your helmet off.”

He’d felt this same emotion when IG-11 had coerced him into taking his helmet off when he’d been injured. It had felt the same, affected him the same, paralyzed him the same.

Panic. It’s panic.

The last time he’d done this had been out of necessity, out of fear, and that had been the only reason he’d survived. He’d broken The Creed to save his own life and of those who had been with him when the Moff attacked. Now, staring at this console, the life of his son is at stake if he doesn’t take this helmet off.

Din whispers into the corners of his frightened mind. I’m scared.

You had accompanied Mayfeld and Din as the third party (since Boba and Fennec had Cara) and had displayed skill in aiding him with the bands of pirates who had attacked their transport of Rhydonium. His mind was still spinning with the sheer speed in which you had spun those lightsabers. He didn’t think a person could move that fast.

Around the corner and turned away from Din, you allow yourself to feel the whispers of The Force encircling your mind - the newly acquired bond you’d somehow formed with Din since having seen Ahsoka - and whispered in reply I know. A beat of silence passes before you continue. Remember who you’re doing this for.

In the moment that Din’s fear threatens to overtake him, you send waves of comfort and assurance through your Bond in the Force - which shouldn’t exist to begin with, it’s not that easy to create bonds with a non-force sensitive - to coax him into doing what needs to be done. Your eyes are turned. Your focus is on Mayfeld and the dozens of Imperial Officers who surround you.

As he removes his helmet, Din remembers. He remembers your boundless laughter playing with The Child. He remembers the way his son beams at you, the way he falls asleep on specific words of lullabies because that’s always the precise moment your voice goes just soft enough that he feels as if he needs no more comfort. Din remembers the way you’d watched on in silence, quietly mourning a relationship that had yet to reach its peak, and how breathless you’d appeared - and overjoyed, he still hasn’t recovered from the sudden hug you gave him upon return to the Razor Crest - when he’d brought Grogu back inside after Ahsoka claimed he could not be trained.

Remember who you’re doing this for.

Maker help anyone who dared to cross him when his child, his son - the one attachment he has not verbally acknowledged yet, but everyone else has, including you - is the one in danger. When you are the one in danger.

Maker help them.

You are not anticipating what comes next.

This was supposed to be easy. Get in, get the coordinates for the cruiser, and get out. Mayfeld had mentioned to you after Din had entered the mess hall that he’d need to take his helmet off in order to access the terminal, and on instinct you had turned away from the mess to survey the crowd around you.

Your lightsabers - now meshed together into the staff slung across your back - lay comfortably and within reach as dozens of Imperial troops brush past you and congratulate both you and Mayfeld on being the only transport to bring back the Rhydonium.

“Trooper? Hey, trooper!”

Mayfeld’s hand shoots out before you can protest, and your head is whipping back just enough to ensure that Din hasn’t been found out. “No.” Mayfeld murmurs, shaking his head. “Not yet.”

You’re not focused on him. You’re focused on the dark hair that frames the very visible head of the same man you’d resigned yourself to falling in love with.

His helmet is off.

Dread curls itself in your veins as you and the former Imperial turn to the mess hall. You’ve managed to respect Din’s wishes in refraining from both seeing his face - and using his name, you’re only allowed to do that in private - since you met, but circumstances have ruined the reverential act he would’ve saved for marriage. That was when he’d had removed his helmet to allow you to see him.

The thing is though.. You’ve always seen him. You don’t need to see his face to know Din Djarin’s heart, and his heart lays with you and that baby. The one he’s fighting to get back.

“No, son. What’s your TK number?”

Lucky for you, you’d been alive during The Clone Wars. You can worm yourself and him out of this situation fairly easily.

“This is our Commanding Officer TK-593, and First Officer TK-616, sir.” Mayfeld slaps your back as the two of you enter the mess hall and flank either side of Din. You cannot bring yourself to look at him head on. It would not be fair, not in the midst of the pure fear that’s coursing through his mind.

I’m right here. You whisper into the heart of the fear that plagues him, fingers idly tracing the inside of his hand as you stare the Imperial Officer down. As expected, Din visibly relaxes at the gentle trace of your fingertips against his palm. We’re surviving.

“I am Imperial Combat Assault Transport TK-111, sir.” Mayfeld continues, folding his hands over each other as he stands at relaxed parade rest at Din’s side. “I’m afraid you’re going to have to speak up to him a little bit since his vessel lost pressure in Taanab.”

This gives you the brilliant idea of conversing with Din in Tusken sign, something he’d been adamant to teach you after your excursion on Tatooine.

“She’s our interpreter. We call her Whip.’’

While Mayfeld guides the conversation with the officer, you and Din are easing into talking in Tusken about however many ways this can go wrong, but then he changes the topic to something you’re not quite ready to acknowledge.

You can look at me, you know. He signs, hands frantic as he tries and fails to find your eyes. You value him - and his heart - far too much to be the first person he knows to have seen his face.

No. You shake your head. I can’t.

And you don’t. You only look at his side profile for the remainder of that trip, refusing to allow yourself the satisfaction of being the one person he cared about that has seen his face. Seen him.

Like I said. You don’t need to see Din Djarin’s face to see him.

***

Din is almost positive he’s ready to accept how he feels about you.

The minute Mayfeld shoots that officer in the chest, you spring into action and whip that staff off your back - disengaging the lock that holds the two lightsabers together - and the world explodes in a flurry of blue as you perform the sword and shield method he’s seen you do flawlessly at least five times now.

You don’t look at him even after you’re back in Slave One. He and Cara have escorted Mayfeld back to the surface of the planet, and it’s just you and Fett in the cockpit. Despite the clone and bounty hunter being so much older then you, there’s something oddly comforting knowing you’re sitting next to has suffered as much as you have. If not more.

Long story short, we both survived.

“You know, I’ve been with you a grand total of a day and I can already see it in your eyes, Whip.” The nickname Mayfeld had come up with in the facility has already made its rounds on the ship, and Boba feels it’s more then appropriate for the first Jedi he’s met since the kids who put him in the Sarlacc to begin with. Being inside of that thing had mellowed him out. He had accepted his life for what it was now. Oddly enough.. Boba Fett is at peace. “You’re lovesick for the Mandalorian.”

“Boba-”

The older man, one who mirrored what you’d always envisioned the clones - may Maker rest their souls - to look like as they aged, removed his helmet to look at you. “Take it from someone who knows. He gets you. You get him.” Boba turned his gaze back towards the ramp of Slave One where Din was talking in low voices with Cara. “Wish I’d had a jeti like you who saw me despite the armor.”

He stopped speaking after that.

Taking a deep breath, you descend from the cockpit just as Slave One takes off again, the coordinates for Moff Gideon’s cruiser inputted into the navi-computer. Fennec and Cara move by you to join Boba in the cockpit which leaves you and Din alone in the cargo bay.

It’s deadly silent.

Ner jeti. He whispers. You can hear his thoughts as clear as you hear your own. Why will you not look at me?

Your eyes slam shut as his fingers curl around your hips. You cannot do this to him, no matter how much you want to - no matter how much you desire to finally kiss those lips you’ve dreamt idly about so many times - because here’s the truth of it: You have suffered, parts of you have died, everything you have ever known has died, you have lost everything and didn’t even try to save those on the other end of those attachments you’d formed... but something, something good, put you right here. Right here in this moment with Din Djarin mere moments before plunging into the subject of your night terrors after months of being tormented by nightmares of your fellow Jedi being tortured by the Empire for simply existing.

And quite frankly, there’s no one else you’d rather take that plunge with.

That fact terrifies you.

“I can’t look at you, Din.” You whisper. “I can’t look at you because then that would be breaking your Creed for me... and I can’t let you do that when the baby hasn’t even seen your face yet-”

“Oh, believe me.” A clunk echoes in the cargo-bay as the beskar falls from his hands. Your heart stops and your breath catches in your throat as you tremble beneath his grasps, eyes still closed as he steps into the curve of your body - chest to your back - and lowers his entire head to your shoulder. “I intend for him to.”

Din lays a kiss at the nape of your neck. Maker... he’s real. Your head starts spinning as his kiss ascends right to the shell of your ear, in which he then whispers, “Open your eyes, Sarad.” and it’s such an intimate act on the behalf of someone who has not known love until you and the baby showed up that you can’t not open your eyes.

When you turn around, your world is enveloped in a mirage of onyx. Brown eyes.

“Din-” Din chuckles at your obvious reluctance because he is absolutely terrified to let you see him, the real him, vulnerable and waiting and desperate for the same acceptance.

“I told you my name way earlier then I ever anticipated I would.” He begins, taking your hands in his own to lay them against his cheeks. It has been so long since he allowed himself to accept touch, to accept that people in the galaxy were still gentle, that he trembles when your warmth seeps into his skin. “After what Bo-Katan told me and what Mayfeld kept saying in the transport... I’ve done alot of thinking recently, and I’m coming to the conclusion that maybe the way I was raised was wrong. There’s nothing wrong with taking the helmet off.” He exhales on a shaky breath and turns his face to kiss the inside of your hand. “But then again.. I’ve always wanted to around you.”

Your voice is small as you ask, “Why?”

“Because you’ve always seen me.” Din replies. “Despite the armor and the helmet, you’ve always seen me for who I was. You saw me as a father for the-” He swallows the knot in his throat and leans inward until you are a hairs breath apart, forehead resting against yours as he pulls your body into his own. “As a father for our child. Not just as a bounty hunter, but as a man. A man I could never see myself as. When you came around, I stopped surviving. I started living.” He snorted sharply through his nose. “I almost forgot what that felt like.. I think you pulled me back right before I forgot entirely.”

He’s so grateful. It’s hard to live feeling like you’re a ghost.

Din tests the waters of this desire radiating from you both by applying just the barest amount of pressure of his mouth on yours. As to be expected, your entire body quakes at the contact and it takes all his physical control to not allow his spinning head to make his knees give out and send him falling on the floor.

Oh.. he could get used to this. Used to this feeling.

He’s felt this before.

Joy.

“That’s the thing.” Inward, outward, forward and back again, you slowly allow yourself to succumb to Din’s kiss and grip his face in your hands just a little bit tighter. “I’ve always seen you.” You pull away just enough to force your eyes open, and then you are graced with the face of the man you love. You do. You love him, and you’ve accepted it. Kriffing Boba Fett. “And you know what? I thought I’d died before I met you. I never thought I’d make it here, much less be with you.. and I am so lucky.” There it is then, that breathless smile Din has pressed the sight of twice now into his memories, that presses itself into your aspect as the two of you look at each other.

“Why are you lucky?”

You wink and shrug. ‘’Long story short?” You muse. “It’s a good thing I survived.”

Little to Din’s knowledge as he plunges into the mystery of his growing love for you - his flower, the one who made him bloom - that when he kisses you again, your eyes are wide open the entire time.

There’s never been quite so beautiful a sight as somebody who’s survived.

bonus: i am thinking about how beautiful pedro pascal was in this episode

#Din Djarin #Din Djarin x Reader #The Mandalorian #The Mandalorian x Reader #Star Wars imagines #Star Wars oneshots

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