#takaaki is so funny

[hiphopcherrrypop]

wlw / mlm hostility

[minimechacowboy]

do you think takaaki is a good bad, neutral dad or bad dad?

taka deffo gets his cop tendencies from him

Good question hmmm

Yeah I think he was decent, he wouldn’t win awards but he sure as hell kept Taka alive and gave up a lot of things to raise him throughout his adolescents so that’s a point!

I’d say that when Taka was younger they were definitely closer but when Taka got it into his head that he’d need to avenge his family and become prime minister to do so Takaaki kinda backed away a bit, all he wants is the best for Taka but he can see that being a shaky road to go down and of course he wouldn’t shatter Taka’s dream so he just doesn’t say anything about it which makes them a bit distant afterwards. 

I do say he loves his son very much and will 1000% take a bullet for him no questions asked, I remember it being said somewhere where he’s just as dramatic as Taka so yeah a little funny.

Taka somehow became more of a narc than his actual dad I feel, like he would legit rat out his own dad if he saw him do something illegal. Also one other thing but I think it’s supperr hilarious when people make Takaaki call Taka “Boy.” It’s such an old man thing to do.

[brainfilehasstoppedworking]

Show us!

Yippeee!!!

*looks to the side* Hehehe. Come out, come out~

Honestly. I can see this as a good crack headcanon for him and Taka LMAO. Takaaki, Taka, Kiyondo, Taichi and Chihiro all can't watch Disney movies together as a family because Takaaki and Taka are gonna start crying at the happy endings.

"Anyone wanna play Yahtzee?" -Takaaki

"S-Sorry, Papa...I uhm...I'm busy." -Chihiro

"Same here, Aki." -Taichi

"Hell no, Yahtzee is boring." -Kiyondo

"Sorry, Father...I have to study." -Kiyotaka

"Okay :'D" -Takaaki

YES, YES, YES. I'm CACKLING but he'd fr slay

At first I jokingly went "He probably hunts Roblox predators on there."

AND THEN THIS GENERATED AFTER W H E E Z E

YES

Canon. Well...he is a dad so he kinda has to.

He's like those moms that give you a heart attack every single time you get into the car with them. I take this as a he can drive, but he's just scary behind the wheel.

I'm scared LMAO

HFIRBEJEJEN????

I'M CACKLING

Bro doesn't even speak English JDJRHEHE (honestly I can't spell it either if I don't have autocorrect PFFFFF)

He'll be in bed and turn to Taichi and be like "Darling. Honey. Can we?"

"No, Aki. Ghosts aren't real."

"They are and I can prove it! GIVE ME THE OUIJA BOARD!!!"

"GO TO SLEEP, AKI!" Insert Taichi throwing a pillow at him (softly.)

While sipping a glass of wine "Damn, this shit is spicy." as he's taking a swig as he reads smut of his two favorite TV show characters

Now. Ladies? Gents? Theys? Its?

Here are my absolute FAVES of this entire list

Bro is already in Hell/j

W H E E Z E, I bet for some of them he'd butcher the words so bad or not even know the meme properly

I need to draw this

He would, but I'm kinda wondering what he'd get canceled for LMAOOOO

THIS MADE ME HOWL WITH LAUGHTER, THAT'S SO FOUL 😭

And that's all djdnene. Hope some of my additions made you laugh as much as for the actual thing

[dreams-of-void]

I'm so happy for next year's movie!! the Nagano trio in the spotlight? that's definitely something I want to see.

also, it's the second time Yui and Kansuke will be in a movie, but it'll be Taka'aki's first!!! I can't wait to see what they're preparing

[despairs-memorial]

It was... actually, it wouldn't surprise him. Other than a select few students, he couldn't imagine anyone was really that comfortable with those sorts of comments.

"I suppose as long as he keeps quiet and just focuses on cooking, then it shouldn't be an issue.... though I do worry about him harassing the other students..."

Meanwhile as Nagito enjoyed his own meal..he didn’t even seems to acknowledge it as a battle. It was just a conversation that he was honored to have with an ultimate! He was just given his views without taking it too seriously.

“Hm, yes..rather unfortunate that he has to be the one to make them..but I can’t deny the taste of it.” While Nagito looked up to the ultimates…Teruteru was a rare exception often getting upset hearing his comments to others.

[fruit-punch-clown]

I finally decided to make a tier list and add minor explanations. My explanations aren't meant to hurt or offend of any of the fans of these characters, this is just something i wanted to do for fun.

Tier-ly ranked in no particular order we have.....

I don't like Junko as a general villian in the series. I watched my sister play THH around 2016 and had not absorbed anything Danganronpa before then and still I saw her being the mastermind since Muruko died. The devs made her way to likable;e to make her feel like a threatening villain.

On a whole I'm not a fan of Danganronpa 2 and that is mainly because I think it had the weakest cast in the entire series despite have some of the best trail's and motives. The onlt reason I like Usami is because of my favorite Tumblr, @brainfilehasstoppedworking and Fuyuhiko is because he gives my Takemichi vibes.

Hajime, to me, is the worst protag, I just find him so fucking boring. The other 3 at least have something that I find interesting. For him it's just 'Oh he's also the antag'. Nagito is funny at times but his bastardry in UDG makes me avidly dislike him. And I just find Mikan to be really annoying. I find obsessive characters annoying and creepy because of past events. Toko is a meer exception because I find her funny in UDG and i can sympathise with her and her past.

Its a bit obvious Tsumugi had wasted potential and the Monokubs will never not be annoying.

UGD is my favorite game of the franchise and probably my favorite game overall. UDG gave us Takaaki Ishimaru and Takemichi Yukimaru I love every charecter except for Monaca because she annoys me and for her treatment of the other WoH, especially Nagisa and Kotoko.

I don't like game Haiji. However I absolutely adore my write of Haiji where he doesn't like kids (I found that part of his character really unnecessary and it felt it was only added to make Haiji seem worse than Monaca and to make her seem more sympathetic.)

final rank-(motives are separate from each rate.)

Favorite from each game:

Mondo Oowada

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu

Korekiyo Shinguji

Genocider Syo/Jataro Kemuri

Takemichi Yukimaru

Least favorite from each game:

Junko Endoshima

Mikan Tsumiki

Tsumugi Shirogane

Monaca Towa

Fuhito Kirigiri

[0-rai]

Hi.

This me :).

Here's a thingy so you can go wherever you want to go to, uh, just take my money.

Ishimondo Siren AU:

[🍎]. [🍎]. [🍎] [🍎]. [🍎] [🍎] [🍎]. [🍎]. [🍎]. [🍎]. [🍎]

Ishimondo week 2024:

[14th] [15th] [16th] [17th] [20th]

Kiyotaka week 2024:

[25th] [26th] [27th] [28th] [29th] [30th][31]

Ishimondo FNAF AU:

[🍎]. [🍎]. [🍎]. [🍎]

Just FNAF:

[🍎]. [🍎]. [🍎]. [🍎]. [🍎]. [🍎]. [🍎]. [🍎]. [🍎]

Taka and/or only/ Takaaki:

[🍎]. [🍎]. [🍎]. [Taka sunburn 🍎]

Taka/Mondo AUs:

[Scream 1999 AU 🍎]. [Fem! Mondo 🍎]. [Jazz bar ishimondo 🍎][Dead Plate🍎]. [Taka fish🍎]. [Madoka Taka🍎]. [Sky AU🍎]. [Scott Piligrim🍎]. [Opposite gender (old)🍎]. [Digital circus🍎]. [Breaking Bad Taka🍎]. [Zombie Taka🍎 Zombie Taka 2🍎 Another Taka Zombie 3🍎]. [Adventure time🍎. 🍎]. [Cowboy🍎. 🍎] [Yandere Ishimondo🍎 🍎]. [Bee and Puppy Cat Taka 🍎. 🍎. 🍎]

Just Ishimondo:

[Mondo shaking it 🍎]. [valentine🍎]. [Valentine🍎]. [Funny video🍎]. [Video🍎]. [Christma🍎]. [Mondo hates cats🍎]. [Not calling you good boy 🍎]. [gay angst lol 🍎]

D&D Danganronpa:

[ B!Mondo and Alter Ego 🍎]. [Unarmored p!Taka 🍎]. [Armored p!Taka and some rambling 🍎]. [Doodle dump🍎]. [B!Mondo and C!Chihiro 🍎]

Danganronpa:

[portraits 🍎]. [Portraits 🍎]. [Guess what? Portraits🍎]. [TAKEMICHII 🍎]. [Maizono-saaaan 🍎]. [both reached for the gun 🍎]

Silly/Doodles:

[🍎]. [🍎]. [🍎]. [🍎]. [🍎]. [🍎]. [🍎]. [🍎]. [🍎]. [🍎]. [🍎]

[local-pr1nter]

Kiyotaka Ishimaru Ship Dynamics!

These are my personal opinions and headcanons! If you do not like them then please move on!

Assume these are all based in a Non-Despair AU!

Ishimondo

I've mentioned them before multiple times, but they're just that good and I adore them.

Real sweethearts and adore each other.

I've spoken about them multiple times now though so I'll just add some small things.

Daiya teases the two of them relentlessly. He refers to Taka as his brother-in-law and it always makes Mondo turn red- either with rage or embarrassment, who knows.

Takaaki was not a fan of the relationship at first, but eventually warmed up to Mondo after seeing how happy he made Taka- and not to mention how Mondo's changed immensely since they first met.

Daiya was the one to fully encourage Takaaki to just support them. He invited the Ishimarus over for dinner one night and it went lovely- after Mondo and Takaaki bickered for a while of course. Overall, it was a nice moment between all of them.

Takaaki eventually warms up to Mondo so much that he reveals that he also used to ride back when he was younger (I think it would be funny AND would shock everyone- not even Taka would know, shocking him the most.)

Ishikuro

YEAAAAH ANOTHER PERSONAL FAVORITE OF MINE

I love the concept of two people learning how to be in a relationship when they don't get social cues or haven't had anything similar to a romantic relationship before.

I think they have a lot of potential as a couple.

Outspoken hall monitor x stoic soldier lets fucking go.

Either of them could've fallen first, but neither of them would've realized it at first. Mukuro would acknowledge it, but not have any clue of how to go about it, so would bury the feelings down deep inside and just try to ignore it. Kiyotaka would slowly realize it, only to freak out and panic because AHHHHHHH NEW FEELINGS ARE SCARY-

But once he calms down and accepts his feelings he'd probably bring it up with his friends. Leon would freak out about it but Chihiro, Hiro, and Mondo would be fully supportive about it. They'd help him ask her out before following them on their date to make sure nothing goes wrong (cough Junko cough)

Which speaking of-

Junko would NOT be happy with Mukuros crush. Mostly because she's not a fan of Kiyotaka, doesn't wanna lose Mukuros attention, and is jealous that someone actually chose her out of the two of them.

She'd probably try to sabotage their first date in any way she can, but of course Mondo, Chihiro, Leon, and Hiro are bros™ and won't let her ruin it.

And would you look at that! The date goes well!

Taka and Mukuro are very low-key and slow with their relationship- their first kiss had them bright red within minutes and neither of them could speak.

Like they had a system reset or some shit.

Against PDA, Taka wouldn't be very touchy with her in public. Even then, as they're still getting used to a romantic relationship, they aren't very touchy with each other. The most they'll do is cuddle in bed, either after Mukuro wakes up from a nightmare or Kiyotaka gets overwhelmed and shuts down.

In public, the most they would do is hold hands. It makes them both very happy.

They both just wanna take things slow and not ruin anything.

Mukuro is definitely a follower in this relationship, but Taka always encourages her to speak up or let him know if she's uncomfortable or if they wanna do something else together. She always appreciates being treated as an equal in the relationship.

After a while I think Mukuro is the one who likes to touch the most. Mostly holding his hand, arm, pinkie, or the strap of his bag whenever they walk. Almost like she wants everyone to know that she cares about this dork and if anyone touches him she will beat them up.

Both very protective of one another, Mukuro more than Taka but still both of them are very protective.

[hiphopcherrrypop]

red... fishing line of fate?

[painedpen]

Tell me anything and everything abt your headcanons and stuff for Mondo Owada, I'm all ears! He's one of my favorites so I'd love to hear what you think‼️

Thank you very much but you have no clue what you’ve just unleashed.

Fluff:

- Mondo’s maternal family originated from France, so French is his and Daiya’s first language. Of course, Mondo has never met his mother’s family… yet.

- Speaking of maternal family, anyone wanna take a guess as to what his mother’s maiden name is? Anyone? Too late, it’s Akamatsu.

- So yeah, Kaede is Mondo and Daiya’s little cousin. Kaede is about two or three years younger than Mondo, and she’s delighted to find her long lost cousin at her new high school.

- Due to having to fend for themselves at a young age, both Mondo and Daiya are really good cooks. The difference between them is that Mondo refuses to allow anyone else in the kitchen when he’s cooking. Think Gordon Ramsey but somehow even worse.

- Mondo will never admit to anyone that he likes to cook. God forbid you ask him to cook for you. Unless you’re sick or like really sad. He’ll tell you to never tell anyone though.

- Physical affection is not only his love language, it’s his way of life. Every time you see him, he’s leaning on or hugging one of his classmates. He’s like a really big cat.

- When he was a kid, Daiya couldn’t leave him alone for a moment, cause every time he came back Mondo would have befriended some random animal of prey. Daiya turns around and Mondo is cradling a Great Horned Owl in his arms like a baby.

- Mondo hasn’t been able to bring himself to have another pet since Chuck, so instead he co-parents everyone else’s pets. He’s already won over Celeste’s cat.

- Most of his childhood was spent around a pack of stray animals. One day, a cat curled up on his lap and started purring, and Mondo was like “heehee funny noise” and started mimicking it. Long story short, Mondo purrs as a stim.

- He’s the best adoptive big brother ever. Are you an only child, or just temporarily sad for some reason? Boom, Mondo’s your big brother now. No, no, don’t fight it.

- After befriending Kiyotaka, Mondo went to his French class for the first time in his school career. (He picked it because it was an easy A.) Listening to his teacher, he realized very quickly that she was not a native speaker, nor had she learned from a native speaker. He was quiet for a solid five minutes and then said, in perfect French, “What the fuck are you talking about??”

- Dyslexia makes it so that letters and words are hard for him to understand. But numbers? Ohoho he knows all about those little bitches! Because of this, he’s shockingly good at subjects like Algebra and Calculus.

Angst: (CW: Abandonment, dissociation, child abuse, neglect, violence)

- Mondo’s dad was a real piece of shit to both his wife and kids. Unfortunately, Moselle, his mother, could only find one way to cope with it. She dissociated to the point where she couldn’t recognize her children.

- Daiya and Mondo didn’t know what was wrong with her, so they always said that “Maman is just away.”

- While Daiya was busy trying to take care of his little brother, Mondo dedicated himself to taking care of their mother. Despite Moselle not being able to do much more than basic self-care, Mondo was convinced that she was just sick, and that they needed to help her get better.

- I won’t go into heavy details, but Mondo and Daiya ended up homeless. After the trauma of what he went through with his parents, Mondo went entirely nonverbal for several years.

- One day, while Daiya was away looking for a source of income, Mondo was mugged while alone. A shot through the shoulder left him on the floor looking for help. No one bothered until Officer Takaaki Ishimaru came along. He got Mondo to a hospital just in time.

- Because of nights spent outside, Mondo tends to get Wind Anxiety. When the wind blows fast enough to be heard from inside, Mondo automatically starts shivering. It doesn’t matter if he actually feels cold or not, it’s just an unfortunate muscle memory.

- Mondo doesn’t remember a lot about his childhood, but he finds he can’t forget what his mother’s face looked like just before her death. He refuses to sleep most days because his dreams are full of her eyes looking directly at him.

- Daiya doesn’t remember a thing, but Mondo refuses to remind him. He’d rather Daiya live in blissful ignorance than have him suffer the way Mondo has.

- Mondo still goes nonverbal sometimes, so he likes to wear a face mask. He looks intimidating in that, so no one tries to talk to him when he’s wearing it. Win-win.

- While the Crazy Diamonds is genuinely fun, it’s not a healthy environment for Mondo in the slightest. There’s a large minority of members who still think he’s too weak to be in the gang. They constantly try to pester and bully him into retiring early.

- It was even worse when Daiya was still in charge. Almost everyone hated him. He would get into fights, people would tell him that he should get into a crash and die so that they wouldn’t have to deal with him anymore. It was rough.

- Even so, Mondo stayed quiet about it. These people were like family to Daiya, and Mondo didn’t want to be the reason Daiya lost any more family. When Daiya asked why he’d come home with bruises all over, Mondo would blame it on a rival gang.

- The first time Hiroko met Mondo, she gave him a hug. She did that thing moms do, cradling the back of his head and neck with her hand protectively. Mondo absolutely melted.

Platonic Pairings:

Mondo + Kyoko:

- These two mean. So much to me.

- They are both black cat coded but in completely different ways. Like Kyoko is a mysterious and dark Witch’s Familiar, and Mondo is a moody dumbass who likes snuggles.

- Kyoko’s love language isn’t physical affection. But she spontaneously decides to cuddle with Mondo for an hour and a half to the second, and then silently leaves.

- Mondo joins Kyoko on her murder investigations sometimes. He contributes practically nothing, he’s just here to hang out. Kyoko appreciates his presence anyway.

Mondo + Chihiro:

- Okay this one’s just obvious.

- I don’t even think I need to say anything about this.

Mondo + Toko:

- Mwah. Delicious.

- I think that Mondo would hate the way Byakuya treats Toko, and would start aggressively defending her.

- He starts “training” her in order to try and get her confidence up.

- Like, Toko wears a rubber band around her wrist that Mondo snaps every time she self-deprecates. Pavlov her into positive self talk, y’know?

- Toko tells Byakuya to go fuck himself and Mondo stands in the background, wiping a tear from his eye.

Mondo + Celeste:

- Sibling energy frfr.

- They scream at each other in French, but would go to war for each other no questions asked.

- They shit-talk other people together.

- Celeste forces him to wear his hair down every now and again because “The big hair distracts from your pretty face!”

- Mondo points out that she’s a hypocrite. Celeste doesn’t care.

- These two fight so much but there’s no real animosity behind it. Not that anyone around them can tell. Everyone else thinks that they just plain hate each other.

Mondo + Gundham:

- Childhood friends. Hear me out.

- Mondo found a really sick stray puppy when he was little and rushed him to the vet. The vet said that since Mondo didn’t have any money, there was nothing they could do. Mondo was really upset.

- Baby Gundham came up behind them like “You foulest of fiends! It would seem your soul has been buried under stone, if you have it in you to turn away a creature in need. Worry not, mortal, for I, the great Gundham Tanaka, will help you restore this dark beast to its rightful glory!”

- Baby Mondo was like “Okay lol” and they both left.

- That’s how Mondo got Chuck.

Mondo + Mikan:

- Hoo boy!!

- Mondo is in the infirmary a lot due to obvious reasons, so it’s only natural that he would be friendly with the nurse.

- Every time Hiyoko or someone else tries to come in and bully Mikan, Mondo picks them up by the neck and throws them out.

- It’s gotten to the point where, even if Mondo isn’t there, Mikan will just tell people “If you won’t leave me alone, I’ll call Owada!” No one fucks with that.

- Overall, having Mondo’s protection is a huge confidence boost for her.

Kay there you go.

[brainfilehasstoppedworking]

11 PM at the Ishimaru household

Kiyotaka: *walking in the house late*

Takaaki: *turns on lamp and turns to look at him* My, my, if it isn't Kiyotaka Ishimaru, The Ultimate Moral Compass. Getting home late. My, my. How low of you, Taka. *shakes head in disappointed*

Kiyotaka: I told Mondo that he needed to take me home early.

Takaaki: *sighs and continues to shake head* Mr. Ultimate Hall Monitor, a hypocrite. Goodnight, Taka. *gets up to go to bed*

Kiyotaka: Father!

Takaaki: *laughing mischievously*

Kiyondo while poking his head out of his bedroom door: Oooh, yer in trouble~~~

[jasperaptor]

post-episode 9 rambles (this might be my favourite episode so far) 🎣

Like. A whole episode, entirely carried by the immaculate chemistry between the whole gang? I'm gonna just ramble for a sec about my thoughts so...

I just love how simple the setup is. Everyone is stuck in one room and we just watch how they hang out. And they were all so goofy!! Like...

Just. Doing random shit with your friends and laughing about way too hard is just so real and down to earth and relatable. I don't have the words but watching this episode just made me really happy and I'm hoping to finally be able to do some writing. Wich like... I've been struggling with portraying their group dynamic and this episode was basically a master class on just that.

Am I the only one who thought that call was sus? Maybe it's just me overthinking because I really want that background info on Takaaki. Speaking of Takaaki...

I know that this wasn't intended like that but... Look at the way he looks at Hiro T-T They make me F E E L things okay. I love him so much. They're literally golden retriever boyfriend and cat also boyfriend. IT'S CANON TRUST ME BRO

Also just happy Tsunehiro. All that talk about how he feels about fishing? I just. Idk. I said this before but it was just so relatable. Not about fishing specifically, but doing something tedious and feeling that content kind of tired? Yeah. That hit home for me somehow.

I just kept finding myself thinking "Yeah. I've been there. I felt like that before" over and over and over again. Even in the smaller moments. For example when they all start eating together and Arua is still at the stove. He doesn't feel disconnected from them. When we focus on him we can still hear the other in the background, just like he is and. Yeah. I've been there. Standing in the kitchen, cooking for friends while they talk and goof off and I'm just content inhabiting the same space. I've sat in a car and everyone is talking over each other and I just realize how fun this moment is. And ugh. They just feal so tangible to me.

The episode was also just plain funny imo. The three loan sharks showing up? And they pull groceries out of literally nowhere?? It's so unserious and I love it. Also love the loan sharks (do we know their names??)

Yeah. I think... That's all the immediate rambles I have. Definetly my favourite episode so far. I fucking love how this episode is basically a character study.

That being said... This episode also established their current status quo. Everyone feels good and content. I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. The whole "I have only two years to live"-thing is just hovering above everything and the longer they don't address it the more it stresses me out.

Because yes. They're friends and close and enjoy each other's company... But one thing I noticed this episode is that Hiro doesn't call Hana and Takaaki by their given names. He still calls them Tsutsujimori and Ayukawa, while they call him Tsunehiro (or just Hiro in Takaaki's case). It feels very symbolic to me of how he's not ready to really let them in yet. But I don't know if this has been a consitent thing or not. It just stood out to me when the three of them were talking.

I really love this show man so thank you for indulging my first impression rambles. Now, I feel like there's a cute missing scene here where Takaaki and Hiro go home together after this. We'll see if I can finally get over my block and finish another One-Shot.. Wish me luck! 🎣🎣

[winged-self-indulgence]

Trapped In Yandere Heaven: Secret Ending Unlocked?

This is for me. Idrc about the rest of ya'll, but if you watched Lion's playthrough of YH vol 2 and thought "hey. those two should make out" then congratulations: you're me. 16+ rating, I just wanted to be silly and somehow that ended with 3.5K words of barely edited polyamory w Takaaki and Sakae aggressively hitting on each other while the MC just kinda vibes. Which is pretty accurate to the audio drama though so like. go off babes

“Good afternoon! You must be the new intern, right?”

Between one blink and the next, the marble columns and painted walls of Sakae's wedding venue melted away, replaced by the inoffensively pristine white walls of Dr. Takaaki’s office. You turned your head to take in the room – the anatomically detailed posters of the brain, the cupboards filled with identical vials and medical textbooks, the tiny cot tucked inconspicuously against the back corner – acting as though you had never seen any of it before.

Congratulations on completing Yandere Heaven Vol. 2! You have completed this visual novel 98 times! Please enjoy your next game: Yandere Heaven Vol. 2!

You turned back to face the man as soon as his introduction concluded. Your mouth curled into a suitably polite smile, and he smiled back in return. At this point, your actions were almost unconscious, involuntary, reflexive. You had been through this stupid game scenario so many times, enough to know that this was the fastest way to progress the story. The emotion behind the smile didn’t matter, but even still you couldn’t help injecting it with some warmth. Irritation and growing boredom aside, you were still fond of these characters. Yandere Heaven wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but it was yours.

Across from you, the AI puppeting the Dr. Takaaki character registered your features before continuing their spiel. “I’ll be the one in charge of your tutelage, so I hope you’ll find my guidance useful! Oh, but there’s no need to stand. Please, take a seat!”

He gestured towards the chair behind you, and you sat, feeling the wood solidly beneath you. Say what you will about the perils of experimental VR technology that trap players in the same visual novel for days on end, but the realism of it was nothing to sneeze at. Besides, even if nothing else, you were real. Your emotions were real. The butterflies that never stopped making a home in the pit of your stomach when Dr. Takaaki comforted you were unfortunately very much real.

A part of you – one that grew with every single reiteration of the storyline – was a little annoyed with yourself for blushing over what basically amounted to a very pretty 3D model controlled by some very complex code. Another part of you was too busy swooning over the way Dr. Takaaki’s forearms flexed beneath the fabric of his lab-coat.

You couldn’t help it. White teeth flashed at you in a gentle smile, contrasting gorgeously against tanned skin and hazel eyes that glittered behind deceptively stern rectangular glasses. Dr. Takaaki raised a hand to push back a stray lock of coffee-brown hair off his forehead which immediately flopped back.

“…and that’s about the gist of it.” You snapped out of your idle musing, recognizing the words that signaled that you were nearing the end of the prologue. At the top of your view, the ‘MC’s’ thoughts popped up in a fluffy cloudlike bubble. Something about being confused and barely understanding anything that had been said. A line that had been funny ages ago and was now kind of trite considering you probably had a more extensive understanding of the model hospital than the character AI. Including the places where the developers had cut costs and started repeating textures, rooms, and lines.

There was an entire upper floor where someone had forgotten to match the skin textures, so every single patient was the exact same featureless, grey-skinned humanoid shapes. That had certainly spiced up your 37th run of the game.

“Ah, no need to look so alarmed! Sure, it might seem a bit confusing at first, but you’ll get used to it little by little. I promise, I won’t throw you into the deep end right off the bat.” His voice was sweet as syrup, the words settling in your mind like a spoonful of golden honey mixed into hot tea. The voice acting had been one of the main attractions, and you were glad the actors were competent at their jobs. This whole experience would have been far more annoying if you had to suffer through noise clipping and vocal fry.

Strange that you hadn’t been able to find any credited names on the website. Yet another strike against the developers.

You followed Dr. Takaaki out of the office, mentally setting yourself on autopilot as you assisted him with his rounds. All of this was just set dressing after all. The story wouldn’t start properly until you heard the near silent click of bespoke shoes against the hospital tiles, and a low voice interrupted the conversation.

“Ahem. Is there something wrong with my room, doctor?”

Sakae. Tall, blonde, and utterly infuriating if you weren’t into his particular trope, yet hot enough that you might be willing to put up with his flaws because at least there was a pretty face at the other end of the leash.

Clad in tailored black suit instead of the assigned shapeless gowns, the buttons neatly fastened as though he was showing up to a business meeting rather than a standard medical checkup, Sakae pushed open the door of his hospital room and leaned against the frame with casual aplomb. His large hands were pushed into the pockets of his tailored suit while hadal blue eyes pinned Dr. Takaaki in place.

“Surprised to see me out here?” He drawled, a smug smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “You were far later than usual today, so I was simply wondering where you’d gotten to. I thought to myself, ‘if he can’t come to me, I’ll simply have to go find him.’ I know how awfully busy you doctors get, after all.”

 You blinked once, twice, and then stared at Sakae, trying to confirm that you’d actually seen what you thought you’d seen. Was…was he blushing?!

Almost as soon as the words crossed your mind, the red flush vanished from the 3D model as those eyes drifted to you and Sakae’s grin grew distinctly wolfish. “Anyhow, I couldn’t help but overhear you telling your lovely assistant to steer clear of my room. Care to explain exactly what you meant by that before I start to take it personally?”

“Y-You must be mistaken,” Takaaki floundered. “I-I have no issue whatsoever with–!”

“Come now my dear doctor,” Sakae cooed, pushing himself off the doorjamb and stepping closer to the two of you. The model’s eyes shifted between you and Takaaki, settling on the doctor with a sardonic chuckle. “I’m well aware that you find my company less than tolerable. Is that the only reason you warned them away, or are you worried that your cute new intern might fall for the charms of a loaded badass like me over someone like you?”

You couldn’t help rolling your eyes even as a giggle pressed against the back of your throat. Despite being the designated MC and target of what was ostensibly a yandere visual novel, one of your favourite private jokes was how much your character felt like a third wheel when these two were in the same vicinity. Repetition aside, watching the two snipe at each other like a pair of bitter exes had become the highlight of your many, many, many repeats.

“Luckily for you I’ve taken a shine to your special brand of stupidity.”

“Since you’re so…virile, I imagine you might like to bestow your vitality upon the other patients here… In fact, I’d be more than happy to personally attend you.”

“If you value that pretty face of yours, you’ll give up and hand your precious intern over to me.”

“It’s not like I could just tie him to the bed and solve all my problems–”

“Hey, have you two just considered fucking?”

The conversation stopped dead in its tracks, the sudden plunge into muteness prompting you to raise your head from your phone in confusion. You blinked as you came back to yourself and your surroundings. The sky outside was dark, and you were already in the passenger seat of the car watching Sakae and Takaaki argue on the side of the road, had you really been virtually AFK for ¾ of the whole story? Shit.

Sakae, as always, was the first to break the silence, though his words surprised me. “Darling, you’re adorable, but what the actual fuck did you mean by that? Do you honestly think I would lower my standards to his level?”

He cursed? At me? Well at the MC. Huh, he’d never done that before. At least, not before his endgame breakdown in either route. The game had advertised itself as using a complex learning AI trained to respond to various prompts, but in all your playthroughs that had never really been the case. The characters’ responses had always been fairly linear. It never mattered what you said, or how creative their replies were, because the story still needed to progress from plot A to B to C. By the next scene, nothing you said would matter, so you leaned your elbows on the passenger window and rested your chin on your folded arms to observe the fallout of your offhanded statement.

“Lower?” Takaaki scoffed, teeth flashing in a vicious sneer. “You wouldn’t even be able to handle my darling, let alone me.”

“Oh. I could certainly handle you better than you think, doctor,” Sakae took a step closer, tilting his chin up challengingly. The two of them were around the same height, almost nose to nose at this point. “It would certainly be oh so entertaining to watch you try to act all tough while I have you squirming and begging for mercy.”

“My, my, someone certainly thinks highly of themselves. I bet you think you’re so charming, don’t you? I’ve heard such delusions may be a sign of deeper issues. Care to let me examine you, Sakae?”

“Yeah, this is what I was talking about, by the way,” you interjected with the sort of brazen cheer that comes with knowing that your actions have no real consequences. “I mean you guys should probably bang. Fuck. Roll in the hay. Do the horizontal tango. Smash dicks, I don’t know. Just do something to get all of this–”

Here you gestured at the two of them, rotating both of your wrists expansively to get the point across as succinctly as possible. Sakae looked a little bit offended while Takaaki seemed utterly baffled by the words coming out of your mouth. You might as well have been speaking a completely different language. Cool. Maybe if you confused the code enough it would finally spit you back into the real world.

“ – out in the open. ‘Cause I like you guys, and I know you both like the main character, but you two act like you’re about to star in someone’s Wattpad enemies to lover’s fanfic and it’s driving me insane. So, like, could you both kiss about it at some point and put me out of my misery? Okay? Okay. Now could one of you drive me home?”

Retreating back into the car, you went back to staring at your phone, which was functionally useless but at least included classic Snake which thoroughly diverted your attention.

Someone climbed into the front seat, and you were a little surprised when you heard one of the other doors open. A quick glance over your shoulder revealed that it was Takaaki sliding mutely into the backseat.

Well. Huh. That had never happened before. This was Takaaki’s route, wasn’t it? At this point he was supposed to basically steal Sakae’s car and scheme with the MC to commit brutal medical malpractice. Murder without the death part. Whatever the crime of deliberately sending someone into a permanent drug-induced coma is called.

Instead, Sakae silently drove to the MC’s neighbourhood – without asking where they lived, obviously – and carefully deposited you outside the apartment building before driving off with Takaaki still in the backseat. You watched the sleek black car shrink the further away it got, before eventually disappearing around the corner. You hesitated for a moment, unsure what to do. The story had never deviated like this before, had it? Screwing your eyes shut, you tried to parse through the last 98 runs, but nothing stood out to you.

Finally, you gave up with a shrug. Whatever, by tomorrow the story would have corrected itself like it always did. Yawning, you walked into the MC’s apartment and closed your eyes.

Congratulations on completing Yandere Heaven Vol. 2! You have completed this visual novel 99 times! Please enjoy your next game: Yandere Heaven Vol. 2!

What?

Your eyes flashed open, the cheery pitch of the robotic chime shocking you awake. You’d finished the game? How? Had you unlocked some sort of bonus ending, or was the machine glitching? You hoped not. This groundhog loop was already annoying enough without the possibility of Backrooms-style nonsense.

“There you are!” You startled again, the second time in half as many minutes, and turned to see Takaaki making his way towards you. You opened your mouth, ready for the usual introductory lines, when warm arms suddenly wrapped around your waist and – between one breath and the next – his mouth was on yours.

Wait.

What?!

Your lips parted, confusion inadvertently giving Takaaki the opportunity to slide his tongue deep into your mouth, swallowing the muffled noises that escaped your throat and returning it with a heavy moan. Your back hit the cool wall of the empty hallway, body caged and pinned by the man in front of you. Any questions you might have had dissolved like sugar when the doctor’s broad thigh slipped between your legs, the movement rucking up your skirt and grinding against your core.

Just as you were sinking into the sensation, the office door behind you flew open, and a familiar teasing voice had you scrambling for clarity of mind. You shoved Takaaki away and turned to see Sakae standing in the doorway in a pose reminiscent of his standard introduction, except this time he was missing his suit blazer and coming out of Takaaki’s office.

“Now, now, my dear doctor,” he crooned, adjusting his collar with a finger, “I’m as eager to get my hands on them as you are, but…I certainly didn’t take you for an exhibitionist. How fun.”

“I’m not–!” Takaaki spluttered, arms tightening around you. “I was just excited to see them, that’s all! It was a perfectly normal kiss. Not all of us have our minds in the gutter.”

“Bold words from the man with his tongue down their throat 30 seconds ago,” Sakae replied mockingly, and though you braced for the inevitable violence, a part of you couldn’t help but notice that Sakae didn’t actually sound upset. His voice was breathy, lacking the usual astringency that accompanied his previous conversations with Takaaki. If you had to put a word to it, you would say he almost sounded…fond? “Don’t forget dear doctor, I know exactly how carried away you get when you’ve got your mouth on someone.”  

“Sakae!” Takaaki’s face went bright red, prompting the man himself to let out a boisterous laugh, and you finally summoned enough oxygen to your brain to realize exactly what was happening.

Oh my god.

They’re actually flirting.

Not just subtext, not just words taken out of context, but actual legitimate pick-up lines!

“Oh, for the love of–!” Takaaki pinched the bridge of his nose with one hand. The other, to your ever-growing shock, herded you in Sakae’s direction. “Just get in my office, please. We are not doing this in the hospital hallway.”

You allowed yourself to drift forward, stumbling through the door and into Sakae’s arms. “Hello, darling,” he grinned down at you. His tongue traced over his upper lip while one of his hands gripped your chin, thumb pressing into the plush centre of your bottom lip – shiny from your lip-gloss and Takaaki’s kiss. You expected him to look disgusted but instead those already abyssal eyes grew even darker. “Where’s my greeting, hm?”

Once again, before you could respond, his mouth crashed down on yours. If Takaaki’s kiss had been avaricious and enthusiastic, then Sakae’s was nearly feral. Devouring. He didn’t wait for your lips to part before prying them apart and tasting you with the sort of single-minded possessiveness that made what little cognition you’d managed to scrounge together fall apart like a house of cards.

Takaaki kissed like he wanted to map out the entirety of your body. Sakae kissed like he already owned it.

You took a step back on trembling legs and, rather than hitting the door or falling to the floor, your back hit a warm body. One that trapped you in place with white-coated arms and rocked their hips against your ass with a breathy whine. “You…that face is so cute…”

“He’s right,” Sakae murmured, licking his lips with a fanged smirk. “If this is how you look with just a kiss darling, I don’t think I’ll be able to hold myself back. I don’t understand how your ex let someone as precious as you get away. Clearly, you’re far too valuable for plebeian eyes. The doctor and I are the only ones who can appreciate what a perfect treasure you are.”

“You understand right?” Takaaki whispered in your left ear, at the same time that you felt a needle slide into the right side of your neck. Ouch! Oh, son of a– “Don’t worry, Sakae and I worked on this particular medication together. You’ll just have a nice, long rest, and when you wake up, you’ll be home with us.”

“It’ll be just us,” Sakae crooned softly as the simulated drugs caused your vision to grow dark and your body to sag in Takaaki’s arms. “Our little sweetheart, forever, and ever.”

“Until death do us part,” Takaaki agreed adoringly. The last thing you saw before the UI went completely dark was the two men sharing a kiss over your head.

Congratulations on completing Yandere Heaven Vol. 2! Obtained ??? Ending: Love Triangle? No! Polyamory! You have completed this visual novel 100 times!

Warning! Warning! Warning! Due to a system error, the Yandere Heaven Visual Novel VR Experience has been forced to terminate all programs! We apologize for any and all inconvenience, and hope you enjoyed your time with us! Shutting down in 3…2…1…

EPILOGUE

It had been approximately one month since you’d escaped the VR headset. Apparently, you hadn’t been the only one who’d experienced problems, but as far as you could tell you were the only one who’d been forced to play the same scenario 100 times in a row. The company had been forced to pay out a huge sum as compensation, in addition to taking care of any medical bills.

For obvious reasons, you’d been avoiding taking them up on the latter. The thought of stepping into a hospital was enough to have your skin break out in goosebumps, and the last time you’d stepped into one it had sent you into a dissociative spiral so enveloping you’d holed up in your bedroom for a week straight.

Unfortunately, the broken arm you currently sported wasn’t something that could be fixed with some painkillers and a prayer. Courtesy of a particularly careless motorcyclist, you were now seated in a waiting room that smelled unsettlingly of antiseptic and sweat, listening to other people complain about their own problems while you valiantly tried not to have a panic attack in front of the kid with snot waterfalling from their nose.

This is real. I’m not there anymore. I’m back. This is real. I’m not there anymore. I’m not there anymore, I’m not–

A nurse calling your name brought you back to the present. “Doctor Tamaki will see you now,” she smiled at you, and you returned the expression weakly. Hopefully she just thought you were in pain. She wouldn’t be wrong. “You’re lucky. He doesn’t usually take walk-ins, but he made an exception for you. You’re in good hands.”

Gently cradling your arm, you followed the signs pointing you to the appointed office. As you walked past one of the water coolers, you couldn’t help but overhear two of the nurses whispering to one another. “He’s here again! Oh my god, do you think…?”

“Him and the doctor? They look so good together. It makes me so jealous…”

“Of who? Doctor Tamaki or Sakai?”

“God, imagine being the ice cream in that sandwich.”

“For fuck’s sake, girl, we’re on the clock!”

“Listen, I’ve been here for nine hours straight. Horny thoughts about the doc and our hospital’s top investor are all that’s keeping me from popping every single melatonin pill we have on hand and passing out on the floor.”

Wincing, you picked up the pace until you reached the door with the name Doctor R. Tamaki emblazoned on a gold name card. Before you could even figure out how to knock with one good arm that was already employed keeping the bones of the other in place, the door flew open, and two disturbingly familiar eyes beamed down at you from completely unknown faces – one hazel green and heated, the other the enveloping blue-black of the ocean deep.

“There you are, darling. We’ve been looking all over for you.”

[kuschelkissen]

I apologise for this but I wanna share this if that is alright. For some reason, I find the concept of Akai and Takaaki being buddies funny. They haven’t met at all in canon but for some reason I imagine them meeting up, discussing about their favourite books, essentially forming a little book club. Akai would probably have his Okiya disguise on and later meets Kansuke and Yui after they hear about Takaaki’s book buddy and then Conan hearing about it like;

Conan: Huh? Where is Morofushi-San?

Yui: Oh, he’s on break today so he’s not here.

Kansuke: Probably hanging out with his book buddy right now, he’s been reading those books he got from him lately.

Conan: Book buddy?

Kansuke: It’s what we call him considering how he and Koumei would mostly talk about their books. He makes shit curry though.

Conan, already piecing it together: Ne, wait a minute….

Bonus if Rei spots them in the library or something

I think I have some problems imagining Akai in that position, mostly because I don't see him as a man who really has hobbies except for hunting down the BO, but Okiya? Absolutely. May have been around the library for disguise reasons (after all, if he doesn't want to draw attention to himself, he probably has to pretend to be a student every now and then, right??), and ran into Koumei.

Got the shock of his life, mistaking him for Scotch for a hot second there.

Realised that this was Scotch's brother at some point and started befriending him. Must be hard, somewhat, because he looks so similar to Scotch, but is very different in character. Much more reserved, even though friendly/polite.

I really want these two to meet one day, and even if it's just for Shuichi having to look into Scotch's brother's eyes and feeling terrible for not being able to save Hiro 😬 One day, I'll write that story... maybe.

[fruit-punch-clown]

I dare you to draw that shit.

I would, but I have no designs planed for Kijo

Kijo taking Takaaki on a date to Five Guys cos Takaaki’s never been. (Kijo hasn’t either but wants Takaaki to be happy).

[project-sekai-facts]

OKAY THIS IS A VERY RANDOM SEKAI VOCALOP DUMP BECAUSE IM GOING THROUGH A HYPERFIXATION

my autistic brain couldn't help but notice that mafumafu is the only first rotation producer who hasn't reappeared in the game since my dear come back it's been almost three years (technically police piccadilly is also missing but he's working for deco via otoiro so i assume he's involved at least somewhere)

and since i'm at it there are 11 songs where deco*27 is credited in some way 4 of them are commissions and it's upsetting and funny as hell at the same time

kemu technically didn't get a solo event but still helped deco and marasy so 0.5+0.5=1??

almost all of dreamers got niigo commissions (syudou, surii, tsumiki and niru) except for ayase and rokuro but idk if the latter is still active another unit that proseka has completed like a pokedex is elc aka heavenz harry and koyori kamitsubaki are probably next seeing how guiano moimi and misumi are on board as of now

also also!! guiano is the only one whos vs features a non-vocaloid synthesizer because he's affiliated with kafu's developers directly!!!

technically mikito pinocchio and picon are the only producers who have managed to sneak their vocals into the game kashika's original version is a duet between miku and loin but it was cut for some reason... even though roki is literally there

kujira (or whale don't sleep or whatever) has only appeared in the game during cup noodle collaboration and still hasn't been heard from

rambling over peace out remember happiness is stored in "music by"

Ooh this was very interesting thank you anon!

Also adding to your first point: Takuya Watanabe (commissioned for From Tokyo alonside Natsushiro Takaaki) has never had a song in the game since or before.

Some other producers that only got one song during the first year ish and never again are: Hinata Electric Works (Buriki no Dance cover), Karasuyasabou (Showtime Ruler), Umetora (Ifuudoudou cover), CRUSHER P (ECHO cover), yuukiss (Nostalogic cover), doriko (Romeo & Cinderella cover), EZFG (Totemo Itai Itagaritai cover), nanou (Hello How Are You cover) and Sohta (Ikanaide cover).

There’s probably more than that, these are just the ones I can remember. Also some of them are probably inactive or don’t have other notable songs, but I wouldn’t be able to tell you.