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atticrissfinch · 1 month

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Alright with a Slow Burn | (joel miller x reader) (18+)

A Bonus Meet Me in the Back Oneshot

[Moodboard for aesthetic purposes only]

pairing: sleazy gas station clerk!joel miller x fem!reader summary: Just a casual cockwarming competition on a weekend afternoon. warnings/tags: [18+ MINORS DNI] age gap (no specifics), size!kink, daddy!kink, degradation!kink, cockwarming, unprotected piv, creampie, assplay, clothes-ripping, brief spitting, v brief over-the-pants footjob action ig, bad casino metaphors, some friendly competition with stakes <3, Olivia Benson appearance, random fluffy moments??? word count: ~5.4K | ao3 a/n: surprise! a dirty little oneshot for you. this takes place a while after part 6, probably a couple months post. title is from Slow Burn by Kacey Musgraves which feels very fitting for them.

Series Masterlist | Masterlist | Kofi

You love when Joel has a weekend night off of work. Your schedules are so misaligned, you often find yourselves stealing frantic early evenings together between your workday ending and his beginning.

The more you’ve taken Joel inside you the more your body molds to him — craves him on the daily. He still takes your breath away each time he enters you, and he still swears up and down about how tight you are every goddamn time. It’s symbiosis at its finest as far as you’re concerned. A mutually beneficial, delicious destruction of your respective selves at the hands of the other.

You fuck and you chill. You chill then you fuck. It’s a lazy cycle, but it works.

Right now you’re relaxing, Joel sitting on the couch and you lounging with your legs draped over his lap. Olivia Benson is solving especially heinous crimes on Joel’s crappy television, filling the leisurely silence of the trailer with a marathon of your shared comfort show. Joel had slept until 2 PM, as is his standard. You’d found yourself at his door as soon as he was once again alive to the world. There’s something about you appearing on his doorstep in fully done face, hair, and dress with him scruffy and bleary-eyed in nothing but joggers that sets your heart alight.

You like him simple, uncomplicated. You bring enough complications of your own. He’s a welcome reprieve with unceasingly open arms and a predictably hard cock. There’s not much more you could ask for.

Joel rubs circles into your ankle with his thumb, occasionally slipping down to the sole of your foot to apply pressure to the arch. Quiet moans of approval creep out of you at the treatment, and you can feel Joel responding to your sounds against your lower leg.

“Hi there,” you giggle, pressing the side of your calf into the initial stages of his bulge.

Joel’s grin gives way to a shallow grunt at the friction, and he clasps a hand around your ankle.

“Better be careful. Snake’s gonna start rattlin’.”

“Well, they don’t call me the snake charmer for nothing,” you joke, sliding your leg over his crotch again.

Joel snorts, quirking his brow. “They call you that, do they?”

“Yes they do,” you assert, nodding resolutely. “I get yours dancing easily enough.”

Joel exhales a laugh through his nose and squeezes your ankle. “Someone’s gettin’ a little big for her britches, ain’t she?”

“I’m not the one bursting the seams of my pants right now,” you retort, a smile playing on your lips.

Joel clears his throat and readjusts his seat, nonchalantly fixing his dick inside his joggers. “Don’t know what you’re jawin’ on about. I am one hundred percent unaffected by those sexy little moans of yours.”

“Oh yeah?” You challenge with a smirk, entirely unconvinced. You bend your leg and inch your foot back slowly, placing it directly onto his growing erection. The arch of your foot starts to massage him gently and Joel’s eyes drift closed for a mere moment before he snaps them back open.

“Yup,” Joel responds matter-of-factly, while noticeably avoiding your eyes.

“Mmm,” you hum, nodding and feeling Joel harden rapidly under your dedicated ministrations. “You, the same man who has never seen me and not popped a boner at some point during the interaction?”

“Don’t know who you're talkin' about,” Joel dismisses, attention honed in on the screen in front of him, but you can see the corner of his mouth fluctuating and his fist clenching at his side.

You catch your bottom lip between your teeth as your grin broadens. “Daddy?”

“Mmm?” Joel answers, like he’s afraid if he opens his mouth again, his whole cover will be blown and a much more vulgar sound will escape.

“You’re hard as a rock right now.”

Joel finally glances down at his crotch and swears. “Fine. You got me. You happy?”

“I will be soon,” you say with a shit-eating grin adorning your face.

Joel rolls his eyes and tugs at your arm, hauling you up onto his lap. “Come here, you little temptress.”

You giggle, swinging a leg over his and sitting on top of his undeniable arousal and grabbing onto the back of the couch. Joel’s smile matches yours now, eyes going hooded as he revels in having you in his lap once again — where you’re pretty sure he would like you to be at all times.

You dip your head down, stopping just short of your lips becoming one, and whisper, “This position familiar enough for you, big boy?”

Joel’s expression crumbles, a defeated moan pushing out his throat before he’s closing the distance with gusto, clutching the back of your head and burying his fingers in your hair as his tongue intertwines with yours.

You sigh into his mouth with a pleasurable sound of your own and begin rocking your hips down onto his straining cock. “Turn the TV off,” you utter against his lips. “Feels weird to fuck with this show in the background.”

The breath from Joel’s laugh puffs over your face as he snatches up the remote and hits the power button. The room goes quiet, save for the sound of your increased breathing and a barking dog outside. Joel’s hands run over the sides of your calves and the tops of your thighs until he reaches the hem of your sundress. Joel already knows what he’ll find underneath, but he moves it up glacially, building the tension rising in your bones.

“Lean back on your hands,” Joel instructs with soft authority.

You plant your palms solidly on the coffee table close behind you and lean back as your dress rucks up along with Joel’s upward movements. When the skirt hem meets your hips and reveals your lack of panties, Joel exhales heavily out his nose and shakes his head incredulously. “Perfect every time.”

You spread your knees further apart on either side of him and bait him with, “So make it not so perfect.”

“Not possible,” Joel mutters reverently, sliding a thumb between your glistening lips and stroking up from your dripping entrance to your throbbing clit. “Perfect now, different kinda perfect when she’s full o’me.”

“Joel, that is so…filthily sweet,” you admit, your voice pitching higher as his thumb makes another pass up the line of your cunt.

“Ain’t never wanna be nothin’ but that with you, sugarplum,” Joel replies huskily, spreading your outer lips with his middle and pointer fingers as he deftly works his cock out from his pants, tucking the elastic band under his balls. His length slaps weightily against his bare stomach and your pussy pulses in response.

Joel’s mouth shift for a moment, his cheeks concaving slightly, and then he reaffirms the spread of your lips and spits down onto your already dripping pussy.

You moan at the gesture and roll your hips onto Joel’s fingers as he rubs his saliva around your lips and pushes it into your waiting hole. “Put your cock in me, daddy.”

“So excited for him,” Joel chuckles lightly, but slides a supportive arm around your back for you to push yourself upright and fully into his lap again.

A gasp leaves you as your bare pussy descends on the underside of his exposed cock for the first time today and adds pressure to your clit. You allow yourself to grind on him a few times as you press your lips to his ear and say, “I’m gonna drop it down on you so good, daddy. I know how much you love this pussy.”

“I do love this pussy,” Joel sighs, his hands gripping your hips as you grind, “But I’ve got a little idea for you.”

“An idea?” You ask breathily.

“A little wager.”

Your hips still in his lap and you rear back to take in his expression. He’s got a mischievous look on his face as his thumbs stroke at the tops of your thighs.

“What kind of wager?” You ask skeptically.

“If I win, I get something I want. If you win, you get something you want.”

You furrow your brows at him. “You’re putting your cock in me. We both win in that scenario.”

“And what if I just put my cock in you? And I don’t do nothin’ else?”

“Like you’re not gonna move?” You ask, perplexed.

“That’s right.”

“So how do you win?”

“First person to give in. To start beggin’. To start movin’.”

“And you really think I can’t handle that?”

“Oh, baby, I know you can’t handle that.”

You scrunch your face up at him. “Rude.”

“Now, now, you said it yourself. I’m about to put my big fat daddy meat inside you. That don’t sound rude to me,” he chides, gripping his cock with his hand and stroking it to maintain his erection as you work through his proposition.

You roll your eyes. “Ok. What are the stakes?”

“What do you want, baby?”

You mull over a few ideas in your brain, humming thoughtfully as you parse through them, until you arrive on one. “You have to go to see Les Mis with me when it comes to town next month.”

Joel’s nose crinkles immediately. “Ain’t that the one where all those sad people singin’ and cryin’ about bein’ sad for five hours?”

“Three hours. You’ll survive. And I’ll let you fuck me to tears afterward if that’ll make you feel better.”

“Deal,” Joel whips out immediately, and you laugh at his haste.

“Ok. What do you want?”

And Joel is already locked and loaded with his answer. “You let me fuck your pretty, puckered backdoor.”

“Joel,” you groan, elongating the vowels in dreadful hesitance.

“Within the next two months,” Joel negotiates, cupping your face with his palm. “I’ll give you time. We’ll prep you real good before we do it. I just need to shove my cock into that juicy forbidden fruit at least once, babygirl. I gotta. Please let me.”

You know how badly he wants this. You’ve known he’s wanted it for a long time. But he’s just so huge. You have no idea how you’re going to fit him, and you mean that so honestly. But people do it, right? He’s done it with other women. He’s told you about them. It’s possible.

And shit. You are curious. You want to see if you could take it.

You sigh and say, “Two months. Lots of prep. And I can say to stop at any time.”

“Of course, baby.”

“Ok,” you say, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Deal.”

Joel’s eyes brighten with heartbreaking earnesty, a smile breaking across his face. “Really? Deal?”

“Don’t ask me again,” you advise sternly. “I said deal. Put your cock inside me.”

“Yes ma’am,” Joel replies hurriedly, giddily, guiding your hips up and positioning his cock at the entrance of your cunt. “Make it count, baby. Ain’t gonna feel me rubbin’ on them pussy walls again for a long time if I got anything to say about it.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” you taunt, taking just the head of him inside you as you drag out the descent. “I know how you get when you’re buried inside me.”

“And how am I?” Joel banters back, his hands flexing on your hips as you sink down another inch.

A lazy smile cracks across your face as you poise your lips at his ear again. “Rutting into me like a mangy mutt until you get your nut out. Like your only purpose in life is to breed me like your bitch.”

Joel grunts at your words, his fingers digging into your flesh as you continue to slide down onto him. “So we’re playin’ dirty, are we?”

You laugh softly in his ear and say, “Don’t remember us ever playing any other way, daddy.” You give a sharp nip to his earlobe and hear him moan.

“Such a naughty fuckin’ girl,” Joel purrs, slipping a hand up your torso and between your tits until he’s cupping your neck delicately. No pressure, just a reassurance of his presence and a daring power move. You hum into the crook of his neck as you finally bottom out, your ass flush with his thighs and the tip of his cock nestled as deep as he can reach in this position.

Joel’s hand glides from your throat to your jaw and guides your face back up to his, his nose nudging yours as he says, “Let the games begin, baby.”

Your mouths fall into each other so naturally like this now, Joel always searching for your lips when he’s breaking you apart, like that will hold your pieces together. When the kisses grow deeper, you have to police your own movements carefully, resisting the urge to roll down onto him as the passion ramps up between you.

Coming up for air is bittersweet, knowing you can’t compensate for the loss of contact with renewed vigor in your hips. You gasp when you feel Joel’s cock flex inside you.

“That’s not allowed,” you whine, leaning your forehead against his and tucking your fingers into the hair at the back of his head as he smirks at his little loophole.

“Ain’t grindin’, ain’t movin’. Not against the rules.”

“You’re making shit up.”

“Am not.”

You groan a little as he flexes again, racking your brain for an idea until you come up with your own sweet revenge. Silently thanking your kegel exercises, you focus your muscles to contract around his cock in retaliation.

Joel groans in response, his head falling back against the top of the couch. “Fuck me, you little devil. That’s so fuckin’ not fair.”

“All’s fair in love, war, and sex wagers,” you tease, squeezing around him again just to hear him grunt again.

“Well, I’m callin’ a truce then,'' Joel says, nipping at your bottom lip. “I don’t move him, you don’t squeeze her.”

“Fine. Truce accepted.”

“Good girl.”

You hum and capture his lips again, sighing as he eagerly melts into you once more. Your pussy feels full, in a sensation that is both incredibly frustrating and oddly satisfying. You’ve longed for a simplified scenario of this for a while — to just exist with his cock stretching you open until your pussy doesn’t remember how it’s ever felt any other way. For time to pass and your bodies to remain as one. For him to take root inside you, cast out tendrils that affix to your walls and imprint their memory in the plush welcome of your cunt. This ever-present, almost anxious instinct to entreat your body to remember him and how he makes you feel.

This wasn’t exactly how you imagined it happening, a silly competitive sex game, but you’ll take it. This route seems much more organically Joel than anything else would anyway.

Your lips part from each other again and you rest your head on his shoulder, a sneaking suspicion that the two of you will be in this for the long haul. Joel’s hands slip under your dress and up your back, thumbs grazing back and forth at the sides of your tits.

“‘S kinda nice,” Joel mutters into your hair.

“It is. Unexpected side effect of our competitiveness, I guess,” you reply, words slightly warped by your cheek smushed against his shoulder. “Better not go soft on me, old man.”

“Can’t help it. You make me a little soft,” he says, a bit of solemnity in his voice.

You feel your heart flip over in your chest for a moment at his words. “Oh. I—I mean. I meant something much less appropriate than that, but…”

Joel expels a brief laugh and shifts his thumbs to your nipples, fussing with them as they harden under his attention. “I think you know, little sugarplum, that you’ve made me hard in the cock and soft in the heart for a hot minute now.”

“Shut up,” you mumble bashfully, but you close in and place a kiss onto the side of his neck. “Say something dirty, please. You’re actually going to go soft at this rate.”

Joel laughs again and tweaks your nipples between his fingers, making you squeak quietly in cheery arousal.

“You wanna know my favorite part of tearin’ up this tiny slit?”

Your giggle mingles with a moan as he shifts tone so effortlessly at your behest, but indulge him. “What, daddy?”

Joel’s hands skip down to the creases of your hip and thigh, rough fingertips running over the divots in your skin where you’ve sat on him for what feels like ages. “When I fuck into you just right and I feel your tight little snatch clamp down on my cock. Jesus.”

You whimper into his neck, actively fighting your body’s need to grind on him, ride him until he loses control and spills inside you.

Joel groans himself as he recounts his memories of you and him together. “Or when I’m hittin’ it so deep you can’t say a goddamn thing. No fuckin words, no slutty little sounds. Just braindead on my fuckin’ pussy pounder like the dick-drunk cumslut you are.”

“Fuck, Joel,” you whine against him, nails biting into the back of his neck as your hips scream at you to move. “You can’t say shit like that to me and not…”

“Not what, baby? Do some pussy pounding? You want Daddy Joel to treat you like a whore, sugarplum? He ain’t do that enough? He too nice to you?”

You moan as you feel wetness flowing out around Joel’s cock at his words. Joel really is usually so nice to you with only a few exceptions. He’s dirty and filthy, but he’s become annoyingly respectful to a degree. “I want you to treat me like a whore, daddy.”

“Poor baby,” Joel placates, raking his nails lightly over the tops of your exposed thighs until you shiver. “Better watch what you’re wishin’ for. Your resolve's lookin’ a bit shaky. And you wouldn’t wanna lose, would you?”

One of Joel’s hands drifts behind you, dipping a finger down between your cheeks and ghosting directly over the site of his potential earnings if you don’t pull your shit together.

You swear quietly and regroup, taking a deep breath. “Not a fucking chance, old man.”

Joel chuckles tauntingly, gripping your asscheek in his hand before relinquishing you and settling his hands back at your hips.

“Can you put on the TV or something so I can distract myself?” You whine, placing your hands on his chest.

Joel puts on a mocking pout and says, “Aww, you need a distraction from daddy’s cock filling you up? Are you daddy’s little bunny rabbit? Just need to bounce, bounce, bounce?”

“Fuck you,” you grumble, burying your face in his neck again. “How is this so fucking easy for you?”

“Who said it’s easy for me?”

“You’re just acting so breezy about this.”

“I still got it up, ain’t I?”

He is still rock hard. You can assess that with no trouble. You’re filled to the brim with him, and you imagine that his precome is coating the entrance of your cervix with how perfectly he’s made his home there.

“Yeah, very much so,” you admit.

Joel’s thumb strokes over your cheek delicately. “Believe me. As long as I’m hard, stayin’ still inside you ain’t gonna be easy for me. My goddamn brain is programmed to bust your fuckin’ walls down.”

“And you do it so well,” you coo, snaking your hand down between the two of you and slotting it into the small opening between your converging hips until your fingers are in reach of his ballsack.

The moment your fingers graze against the sensitive skin, Joel releases a helpless sound. “Oh, sugar, you can’t—” His words are cut off with a deep moan as your hand lightly contracts around his balls.

“Ain’t grindin’, ain’t movin’,” you imitate poorly back at him, cupping his sack and softly massaging the skin between them as he bites his lip and groans at your devious discovery.

“When I win, that little cock box ain’t gonna know what hit it when I’m done with you, little girl. And that asshole’s gonna be puckerin’ in fear knowin’ I’m gonna ream it out just as hard when the time comes,” Joel threatens, the severity of his words significantly weakened by the pitiful desperation in his voice.

“Big talk for a man I’ve got by the balls right now,” you deride with an impish grin, kneading the rounded pair of flesh in your palm, dutifully enough that it makes him keen. You feel the head of his cock twitch against your insides, and you’re fairly certain it was unintentional on his part. “Daddy’s getting a little excited in there, isn’t he?”

“Smug little shit,” he retorts, inhaling deeply through his nose to ground himself while in your clutches. Too lost in the amusement you’ve found in toying with Joel’s testicles, you nearly jerk up on his cock when you feel a spit-slick finger prodding at your unoccupied hole. “Still feelin’ smug?”

“Joel, don’t that’s—ohh,” your words trail off in a moan and your hand stalls below his cock when the tip of Joel’s finger pushes past the ring of muscle to the first knuckle.

“Said we were playin’ dirty,” Joel says huskily, wriggling his encased fingertip in a coaxing circle around the rim of your asshole from inside, pulling a whimper from you. “Figured I’d play where my whore is dirtiest.”

“That’s fucked up,” you argue breathily as his finger pops languidly in and out of your clenching hole. You give a slightly tighter squeeze to Joel’s ballsack and feel his cock twitch again. “You can’t pilfer through the goods before you’ve won. I should make you sit through my shitty rendition of I Dreamed a Dream if that’s how you’re gonna play.”

“Sing your heart out, little songbird. Ain’t gonna get you any closer to winnin’,” Joel says, voice straining against the pleasure you’re driving with your dexterous hold on him.

You whine as your body wrestles with being penetrated in two holes at once by Joel, your clit throbbing at the delicious noises Joel is making at your hands-on treatment, and you feel your determination dwindling by the second. You have no idea how long Joel has until he breaks, and your brain and body are screaming at you to allow this man to do what he does best and let him rearrange your guts with unbridled ferocity.

You know you could convince him to go to Les Mis with you regardless.

And you‘ve been planning on gifting him anal soon anyway. But he doesn’t need to know that. You can let him think he won it from you.

You don’t give a shit about the competition anymore.

You just need to get dicked down.

So you finally blow the whistle, wave the white flag with a, “Fuck it,” and smash your lips against his, ratcheting your hips back and forth like a snapped rubber band.

Joel’s reactionary groan is loud and raspy as his fingers sink into the meat of your ass, hauling you with impassioned movements to assist in your primal need to make up for lost time.

“Fucking finally,” he growls into your mouth, starting to lift your hips and pull you back down onto his length as you moan like a shameless whore at the friction. “‘Boutta make you the sorest fuckin’ loser this side o’the Miss’ssippi, sweetheart.”

“Do it,” you cry out, pressing your foreheads together as your fingers tug at the hair on the nape of his neck and you begin to bounce on his cock with all the tenacity you brought to your stupid competition. “Fucking destroy me, daddy.”

You feel like your cervix is bruising from each punch of his cock inside you, from the way he’s yanking you down on him while fucking up into you with a deafening grunt on every thrust. He gives a final, punishing thrust before pulling you off his cock entirely and nudging you back.

“Get on the fuckin’ floor. On your back.”

You narrowly miss smacking your head on the coffee table in your haste, scrambling down to the carpet and falling onto your back for him. Joel loses his sweats in no time flat, swiping them across his sweat-dappled forehead and tossing them to the side before kneeling between your spread legs.

Joel’s fists clench around the rounded neck of your sundress as he looks you dead in the eye. “You love this dress?”

You swallow and shake your head vigorously. Even if you did, you didn’t give a single fuck in this moment what happened to it. Which is fortuitous, because Joel rasps out a single low grunt and the cotton dress tears like tissue paper at his hands. He rips it right down the center, collar to hem, the straps over your shoulders the only fabric keeping it attached to your body. But Joel, having revealed precisely what he wanted, doesn’t bother with further destruction.

He just takes a few moments to drag his eyes up and down your now fully exposed body, nipples peaked and hard, pussy spread, stretched, and drenched, and your chest rising and falling as you catch your breath for the brief, heavy few seconds you’re sharing before he pounds you into oblivion.

You remember the last time he ripped clothing of yours. That very first time in the backroom when he wrenched your panties clean off your bottom half to give himself unfettered access to your enticing offer. It feels appropriate that the second time he wrecks your wardrobe is to once again lay claim to his spoils.

You love feeling conquered by him. Vanquished.

There really wasn’t much of a point in you winning. He’d won a long time ago. The moment he sunk into you the first time. You were done for.

Joel corrals your legs onto his shoulders, folding you in half as a balancing hand appears next to your head on the shag carpet and the other guides his cock to your waiting heat.

He notches at your opening and looks down at you, halting there. “Tell daddy he won.”

You whimper at the tease of his thick, slickened head at your hole, but concede with no ambiguity, “You won, daddy.”

Your mouth falls open in a breathy gasp as he splits you open around him again, pressing back in to the hilt with no resistance. The hair at Joel’s base prickles at your folds, dampening them with your accumulated wetness. His hands bracket your head as he drops down to steal a sloppy kiss from your lips, sucking your blatant arousal off your tongue.

“Daddy’s gonna enjoy your little slot machine, baby. Heard she’s as loose as a fuckin’ whore in Vegas.”

“She feel loose to you?” You counter, squeezing around his cock again, now that you’re free to do so.

Joel groans, retracting his hips inch by inch, pausing with a smirk to say, “Sure feels like a jackpot to me,” before plunging back inside you.

He hits so different from this angle, and you never seem to remember just how much until he dives in. You feel winded on the first thrust, but it’s an addictive sort of high. It’s like he’s got a hand around your throat, commanding your breath with his strokes, but, as disgusting as it is, the only hold he has on you in this moment is your heart.

Maybe you’re “dickmatized” as your friends say, but you can’t help but think that with a cock like his, it’s so easy to fall for this man. And then he follows it up with attentiveness and affection, and it feels like a fucking rabbit hole you’re tumbling down. Only he has ever been able to steal your breath with his dick, and then steal it again with his sincerity, just to breathe you back to life when you see him again.

It’s terrifying and exhilarating, two sides of the same coin that seems to be spinning indefinitely. Part of you wishes Joel would catch it, flip it onto the back of his hand, and reveal the result for you. But he would never do that on your behalf. So you just let it spin.

The buildup has Joel relentless in his mission to show you just why you lost to him, and what you were missing by thinking you could win. Although, you have a sneaking suspicion that he fabricated this entire game to all but guarantee his chances at exploring your “forbidden fruit” as he’d called it. You can’t fault him for that. The man is clever.

The noises falling from your lips are unfiltered and raw. You couldn’t restrain them if you tried. Joel’s cock is mind-numbingly agonizing, slamming into you with undeniable intent to demolish you. You’re vaguely aware of the scrape of Joel’s flesh under your fingernails as they rake for purchase on his back, but he doesn’t seem to mind. Joel is definitely babbling to you, but with all the noise in your brain it’s fragmented as it meets your ears.

“…pussy’s so…chokin’…big cock…lucky girl…rolled daddy’s snake eye, didn’t ya…”

Your eyes are rolling around in your skull as he hammers into the end of you with unfathomable stamina. Joel offers what you sense are filthy encouragements as your pussy welcomes the onslaught and your sounds begin to fail you, exactly as he said happens when he’s fucking you just right. Your mouth lies open with nothing to fill it, even your own vocalizations.

You can feel two rough fingers on your clit, but it’s blurred on the edges of your mind. Your brain doesn’t comprehend it, but your body does, because you can feel it seizing, clenching in preparation for the inevitable release. And release it does, your back arching off the ground, forcing the last remnants of sound from your throat in a final, high-pitch whimper as your vision flashes white and your hearing goes staticky.

You think you hear a telling groan from Joel indicating his own completion, but it gets lost in the haze. Your body comes back to you in gradual sections. You feel your fingers first, still earthed in Joel’s back like they were dead-set on drawing blood — which they may well have done. Then up your arms and down your abdomen, where you soon recognize the press of Joel’s face in your neck and his hot, panting breath over your skin. The sensation in your feet trickles back to you and you pinpoint them locked in a vice grip around Joel with your heels still digging into his ass like the masochist you’ve spectated yourself becoming since you met Joel.

You find your voice again, and it feels like sandpaper, but you’re compelled to ask, “Wait, did you already come?”

Joel breathes a laugh into your neck. “Like Jesus Christ himself, sweetheart.”

“No, I missed it,” you groan, dragging out the first word in disappointment.

“‘S alright, baby,” Joel consoles, stroking down your hip soothingly. “There’ll be a million more where that came from if I got anythin’ to say about it.”

You flex your pelvic muscles to suss out the situation down there. It feels empty, evidence of the gaping absence of him. You clench, and your pussy might as well be crying. To be refilled, to be left alone. To lick its own wounds, to have more inflicted before you even bother. And then there’s the drip of him from inside you, a crude balm to the aching gash between your legs. The only remedy that you think—that you hope—you’ll ever need with him.

Your orgasm had clearly taken you out of commission for a few minutes, because Joel’s cock already lies completely flaccid against your stomach, rung dry by the iron grip of your cunt. Joel’s lips find yours and it’s messy and perfect. Like an ardent forgiveness for your self-imposed sin of not witnessing his achieved euphoria. It’s healing precisely where you need it to heal.

“You’re fucking incredible,” you sigh, your limbs going limp around him, sliding off to land where feels natural. One of those places happens to be your hand intertwining with his.

Joel’s grin presses into your neck as he plants a kiss there. He slips his free hand around the curve of your ass, fingers dipping into the split of your cheeks in a cruel foreshadow, chuckling as he says, “Hope you’re still sayin’ that when I cash in my chips.”

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vivid-ink · 9 months

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Kinktober #1 - Handjob "Mission Accomplished"

fem!HumanReader x Neteyam or Lo'ak (you pick! 😉)

Summary: You've been asked to fill in for Norm on one of his Na'vi patient observations, except this isn't any old observation appointment... You need to collect a semen sample and the appointment doesn't go at all to professional plan...

Warnings: 🔞 Sexual content 18+, MDNI 🔞 Word count: 4.6k

Author's Note: Happy Kinktober everyone! 😁 I'm late with this prompt as it was completely unplanned. I got inspired late last night after posting Part 4 of 'The Love Shack' and this is what my brain spat out! As usual, my inability to write short drabbles means that what was meant to be a short, sweet kink-scene turned out to be 4.6k. I've not used any names in this piece, so you're free to imagine either Neteyam or Lo'ak as the male lead in this. Enjoy the spice ya'll!

Tagging some mooties who may be interested (no pressure though): @pandoraslxna @blue-slxt @adrianarose7 @vintaqestar @eyweveng @qcswrites @daeneeryss @oasiswithmyg @delacruzyari @teymars @neteluvr @sulieykte @teyamsatan

And OMG (I feel absolutely rotten for overlooking this until now) - Thank you to the incredible @cinetrix for her render of Neteyam which I've used in the story cover.

You swallowed tightly as Dr Blaise briefed you around the purpose of today’s observation and what was required of you. Your heart was galloping in your chest and you could feel yourself breaking out into a nervous sweat. It amazed you how unconcerned and unaffected she was about the whole thing.

“It’s a simple observation. We’re looking for any key physical differences in appearance, as well as any differences in physiological function.” Dr Blaise stated casually, “No swabs or bloods needed today. Just some notes, photos, and a semen sample. There are sample collection jars in the consultation bay already.”

A semen sample… Good Lord, she said that with all the nonchalance of someone asking for a saliva sample. Though you figured that’s what medical professionalism was all about, right? No awkwardness, no emotion, just plain science and fact.

When Dr Norm Spellman had said that he was writing a book about Pandoran Biology and Na’vi Physiology, you’d jumped at the opportunity to be involved. After all, Pandora was your home. It was the only home you’d ever known. As one of the only two human babies to be born on Pandora, you and Spider were the only generation of humans who’d never known the dying mother planet Earth.

Unlike Spider though who had taken to life on Pandora like a duckling to water, scaling trees, swinging from branches and pretty much adopting himself into the Omatikaya clan, you weren’t anywhere near as outgoing. You’d stuck to the medical labs and the avatar camp for majority of your life, rarely venturing out into the wilderness except to accompany the other scientists on their excursions. Perhaps the only similarity you shared with Spider was that you too were an orphan of war. Your parents had been on the frontlines of the battle between Toruk Makto and the RDA, and they’d met their maker on that fateful day.

You were just an intern currently, but the older staff and scientists were more than willing to teach you. Doing lab observations, drawing blood and other lab technician work was your job, so this morning’s appointment shouldn’t have been any different. And yet it was.

You’d never had to collect a semen sample before.

“Patient is a young unmated male, 23 years of age. Fit. Occupation is hunter-warrior. No pre-existing medical conditions and no recent injuries.” Dr Blaise rationally, handing you the clipboard and pen, “The patient has also been briefed about this appointment, so he knows what to expect and he’s aware he needs to produce a sample.”

“Right, understood.” You mumbled and the words were slightly hoarse. You cleared your throat, dislodging the sticky lump of uneasiness there.

Sensing your discomfort, Dr Blaise placed a heartening hand on your shoulder. Her eyes were kind and the crows’ feet at their corners crinkled as she smiled, “Look, the patient is friendly with the team, one of Jake Sully’s sons actually. So you needn’t worry about any hostility. You’ve done numerous observations and collected all sorts of samples. This is no different. It’s only awkward if you’re awkward. Besides, I’m sure you can understand why Dr Spellman didn’t want to conduct this particular observation himself, what with them being family friends and all.”

A giggle and snort left you at the humorous thought and you found you had to agree. Dr Blaise chuckled alongside you. It would definitely be ten times more awkward if the patient and medical professional were familiar with each other during this observation.

The fleeting moment of hilarity eased the nervous roil in your belly. Tucking your pen into the breast pocket of your lab coat, you took a deep breath and nodded, “Ok, I’ve got this. Thanks Dr Blaise.”

With two thumbs up and a wink, Dr Blaise turned and left you to depart down the corridor, her black pump heels clicking neatly across the hard floor.

Turning to the wall, you grabbed an exopack kit and hooked it to the leather belt around your hips. Tucking your hair behind your ears, you positioned the mask over your face and returned to the doorway that led into the consultation bay. The doorway was tall, much taller than you were used to. All the consultation bays were built big enough with high enough ceilings to accommodate the Na’vi and the avatars. While the main ventilation in the compound was suited to human lungs, the consultation bays were fitted with ventilation to suit their Pandoran patients. Scanning your ID card on the panel of blinking lights on your right, the door slid open with a hiss and you stepped into the bay.

The first thing that always hit you when you entered any of the consultation bays was the sterile scent of it. After a couple of years working here you’d think you’d have got used to it, but every single time the smell was like a synthetic slap to your senses. You wrinkled your nose in distaste. Everything smelled so chemical; too clean and too artificial. It was no wonder the Na’vi didn’t like being in here. If the smell was strong to your human nose, you could only imagine how much more potent it was to their heightened senses.

The second thing to hit you this morning was the sight of the magnificent creature that was standing in the corner of the bay, peering at the various medical models, instruments and books in the wall-mounted glass cabinet. He’d been facing away from you at first, but the sound of your footsteps had caught his attention and he turned to face you then.

A genial smile stretched across his face and he greeted you in a voice that was deep and warm, “Good morning, doctor.”

His use of English surprised you and while his words were accented, his pronunciation was clear. Go figure that Jake Sully would’ve taught his children to speak his mother tongue.

You gave a clumsy laugh and you were quick to correct your patient, “Oh, I’m not a doctor. I’m just an intern. I’m just filling in for Dr Spellman for this observation.”

Your patient grinned toothily at you and gave a nod of his head in acknowledgement, although his tone was teasing when he replied, “Alright Dr ‘Just-An-Intern’, where would you like me?”

You couldn’t help the giggle that bubbled up from your throat at his playful demeanour. You smiled at him. He was charming this one, handsome too. Like all Na’vi, he towered well above you in height at approximately nine and a half feet. Though you noted that he was very well-built. Courtesy of being a warrior, you supposed. Yes, he was muscular in all the places you appreciated in a male… You silently reprimanded yourself for your unprofessional thoughts.

“Just take a seat on that gurney for me.” You replied, gesturing towards the make-shift bed against the wall. Retrieving your pen, you began to scan through the notes at the top of the form on the clipboard, double-checking the patient’s details and ensuring everything on it was as it should be.

“Ah, do you want me to take my tewng (loincloth) off?”

Suddenly remembering the aim of the observation again, you felt hot blood rush to your cheeks and ears in embarrassment, “Umm, yes please.” And in a bid to stop your embarrassment running away with your courage, you launched into a rambling outline of the appointment agenda, “Today’s appointment is an observation around Na’vi male genitalia and sexual function. I’m going to need to make some notes and take some photographs of you, both in a r-relaxed and a-aroused state, and I’m going to need to collect a s-semen sample. If you feel uncomfortable at any point…”

He watched you attentively as you babbled onward, the smooth skin of your face and neck taking on a ruddy and flushed hue. He smiled to himself. You were shy and today’s agenda clearly made you uneasy. He felt a twinge of empathy for you. His father had told him that humans were private about matters of the body, especially where it came to sex and pleasure. The Na’vi held no such restraints; sexual freedom was celebrated.

He’d already removed his tewng and had perched himself on the gurney as instructed, unbothered and uncaring of his own nakedness. He was quietly enjoying your discomfort, but not in a rude or condescending manner. He actually found your unease rather endearing.

“Any questions?” Your prattling came to a finish and you took a deep inhale as if you’d squeezed every last ounce of oxygen out of your lungs rushing to finish your speech without taking another breath.

He graced you with another charming smile, “No. You may proceed.”

Willing yourself to get a grip, you walked on slightly shaky legs to the desk in the corner and plucked the glass tablet from its stand and returned to place it on the end of the gurney. You kept your eyes lowered to your clipboard, filling in the date and the time. You could see the striped cobalt of his muscular legs in your peripheral vision where he sat with his shins dangling off the gurney. For the meantime, you dared not glance any higher than his thighs…

Your eyes moved to a set of highlighted bullet points in the middle of the page that indicated questions the patient had to be asked.

You read the first question aloud, its meaning registering simultaneously in your brain as the words left your lips, “When was the last time you ejaculated?”

You fought the mortification that threatened to consume you and your mind struck up a chant of ‘stay professional, stay professional’ in your head.

“Yesterday morning.” His answer was composed.

“And was that with a partner or was it self-stimulated?” Fuck, maybe you should’ve read the questions before coming in for the observation…

“It was self-stimulated.”

“And do you have a preference for male partners, female partners, or both?”

“Female. Definitely female.”

His voice was a smooth, velvety rumble. You couldn’t put your finger on it, but something in his tone stroked over you like an invisible caress that made something clench in your lower belly. You scribbled his answers on the page in a messy scrawl that had more to do with your nerves than your actual style of handwriting.

He continued to observe you as you worked. Your knuckles were pale where your left hand gripped hold of the clipboard and you were so focused, almost concentrating too hard on what you were writing. Nose twitching quietly, he parted his lips and scented the air around. The artificial smell of the bay was unpleasant, but a sweeter and much more appealing smell was filling the vicinity now. Your scent.

The blush on your skin remained and he was sure that if he reached out to touch you that your skin would be hot to the touch where your blood had rushed to the surface. He could smell hints of your perspiration and he could also detect a musky and moist feminine undertone. You were attracted to him… His masculine pride delighted in the realisation. Despite your human form, he found you attractive too.

Finishing up your notes, you settled the clipboard down on the gurney and mentally prepared yourself for the ‘looking’ part of the observation.

Eyes still glued to the brown leather of the gurney’s mattress, you declared your next action, “Alright, just stay relaxed for me with your thighs slightly parted. I’m going to begin the physical part of the observation now.”

“Sure.”

Your gaze travelled from the beautiful stripes on his outer thighs inward to the slightly paler blue of his inner thighs and finally, up to his groin. Suddenly, you didn’t understand why you were so nervous about this. He looked fairly… normal? Apart from the general larger size of everything and the blue hue of his skin, everything was as expected. Feeling a little braver now, you grabbed the glass tablet and took a couple of photos and then set it down to return to your clipboard.

“Is everything the same?” He asked out of the blue, “Same as with human males, I mean.”

You looked to his face instinctively and found his amber eyes trained on you, “Ah yes, more or less. Penis, foreskin, testes; everything expected is there and I haven’t noted any real differences in physiology apart from the lack of hair, but that’s consistent with the lack of body hair all Na’vi have apart from on your heads and tail tufts.”

Following the words down the clipboard sheet you came to a section that was titled ‘Texture and Sensitivity’. You paused. How the fuck were you supposed to assess those? The section didn’t have any required questions or sample questions to help you, and no suggestions either, just a space for you to jot down your notes. You looked from your patient’s body and then to his face, and when he gave you a small smile, your gaze shot back down to your clipboard sheet in embarrassment. Texture and sensitivity were tactile aspects. You didn’t really understand how you could assess them without touching the patient.

Evidently you were taking too long in your deliberation, because your patient’s voice sounded again with a gentle query, “Is everything alright?”

“Yes, sorry. I’m just trying to work out how to assess the next bit.” You apologised sheepishly. You weren’t doing a very good job of appearing collected, you realised.

“What’s the next part?”

“Texture and sensitivity. So, what it feels like and which parts respond the most to touch.” You stated in as even a voice as possible. You huffed out a laugh then and shrugged, “It’s a tricky one because they’re tactile observations and I don’t know how to assess them when you can’t touch the patient.”

“Why can’t you touch the patient?” His response was clearly a surprise to you and he couldn’t suppress his grin as you goggled at him in shock, “You can touch me if it will enable you to do your job.”

You were almost about to say that you couldn’t possibly do that, but you stopped yourself. You were a med-science professional. The patient was consenting and your research required you to perform a physical examination. In a professional capacity, there was no reason you couldn’t touch the patient to achieve the intended outcome of the examination.

You remembered Dr Blaise’s words: It’s only awkward if you make it awkward. Fuck, you needed to swallow a bucket of concrete and toughen up. The sooner you completed this observation, the sooner you would be out of this uncomfortable situation.

Nodding resolutely, you agreed, “Alright, but you will guide me with your own hands. That way I can be assured that you’re only leading me where you’re comfortable to be examined.”

Your patient dipped his head in agreement, the tuft of his tail curling and uncurling charmingly on the gurney next to him. You set your clipboard down and moved to position yourself before him, standing between his knees. You lifted your eyes to his and they locked with his gentle gaze. Tentatively you offered him your hand and he took it, his large palm and long fingers engulfing it easily.

“So first up, texture?” He reminded, and you nodded.

Slowly, he brought your hand to his crotch and settled your hand over the shaft of his cock. It was very warm beneath your palm. Gently, your fingers tested the slightly springy flesh, noting how smooth and silken his skin was. At this closer proximity, you noticed that there was also spattering of bioluminescent freckles on the shaft. You made a mental note of that.

You touched the base of his cock, gingerly feeling around the length of it and you asked, “What’s the sensitivity like here?”

“I can feel it, but it’s not intense or anything. It’s more sensitive up here.” He guided your fingers nearer to the tip and you stifled a small gasp when he assisted you in pushing his foreskin back to reveal the smooth, dark purple head of his cock.

You’d never interacted with a naked man this close, human or Na’vi, and you certainly had never touched one in such an intimate place. Your body was starting to tingle in various places; in very unprofessional places. It was a surreal situation to be in and you found that you felt oddly calmer now than you were a few minutes ago.

Trailing the pads of your fingers over the smooth tip, you found it was moist and a little slippery. Your thumb tested the underside of it, “Sensation?”

A quiet hiss left him and you instinctively attempted to move your hand away, but his hold over your wrist kept it there, “That’s sensitive. That feels good.”

Your heart was still thumping and your cheeks were still warm, but it wasn’t nerves anymore that were causing your reaction. God, his skin was so soft and so warm… Your curiosity was growing now; your innate desire to explore taking hold of you.

You traced the raised rim of his cock head with your thumb and forefinger, watching as your patient emitted a rumbling groan. His hold on your wrist tightened and he began to move your hand over him. You intuitively wrapped your fingers around his cock. You felt entranced almost, caught up in the moment as you unwittingly began to enjoy the feel of him in your grasp.

The hot flesh in your hand was growing, elongating and engorging as the stimulation aroused him. You watched, amazed, as it swelled to its full capacity. The fingers and thumb of your hand could no longer meet each other. The girth of his cock was easily the same width as your forearm and by your approximations, it looked like it had also more than doubled in length from its relaxed state.

The erect shaft had lengthened out of his foreskin and it was a lovely shade of striated blue all over, except for a paler purple underside and head. In its aroused state, you discovered that while it shared structural similarities to a human male’s genitalia, it also possessed other aspects which were very different. The engorged shaft of his cock was ridged all along its length and as your hand smoothed up and down the column of it, you noted that the ridges were firm and palpable against your hand.

It was the most arousing thing you’d ever seen… Those ridges must feel so good inside for the woman…

You didn’t perceive his eyes on you, watching you as you explored his hard flesh. You were so engrossed that you didn’t even cotton on to the fact that he wasn’t even guiding your hand anymore. He could smell you, smell your arousal dampening between your thighs and the sight of your much smaller hand stroking and squeezing his cock was incredibly sexy.

You ran your enclosed hand in one full stroke from the base of cock and up to the head of it, fascinated by the ridged texture of it and the slippery, bulbous tip. However, your patient emitted a hissing intake of breath then and you jumped a little, snapping out of your thoughts.

“S-Sorry! Is that painful?” You stammered, shooting him a slightly apologetic frown.

He shook his head with a husky chuckle, “No, it’s just very sensitive. A lot more than earlier.”

“Where?” You asked, stroking him from tip to base and back up again.

“Everywhere. The ridges and the head especially.” His voice was notably breathier than before and his breaths were coming quicker, shallower and less even.

“That is fascinating.” You muttered, and your other hand joined in on your exploration. You fondled his balls lightly, observing the weightiness of them.

Your patient grunted and he parted his thighs a bit more. He leaned back to brace his weight on his palms behind him. He gave a small roll of his hips, which caused the top half of his cock to push and pull within your grasp. He moaned and the sound shot straight to the apex of your thighs. When you didn’t object, he continued the motion, thrusting lightly into your hands, both of which were now grasping his length one on top of the other.

Clear and viscous pre-ejaculate began to ooze from his tip, increasing in quantity with each roll of his hips. It was so copious that it was beginning to pool on the backs of your palms and drip down towards your wrist. Lord help you… there was nothing professional anymore about what you were doing… Not that your patient appeared to have any objections…

Still completely spellbound by the situation, your curiosity pushed a murmured query past your lips, “Is there always so much pre-ejaculate?”

“Depends. Generally the more aroused a man is, the more he produces.” He replied and when your bashful gaze lifted to meet his, he smirked wickedly.

You were such a pretty little thing to him, your smaller hands trying their best to keep hold of his slick cock. He knew that this was beyond the normal boundaries of the appointment. He knew that while you would’ve been required to touch him to examine him, stroking him off was probably not anywhere on the agenda. He suspected he was supposed to produce the sample on his own, but looking at you now, so enraptured by his body… How could he have resisted? And besides, he knew you were enjoying this as much as he was, your scent told him so.

You tightened your hold on his cock experimentally, squeezing harder. Each time the swollen head of his cock pushed out of your hands to greet you, you swiped your thumb over the oozing slit on its tip. He was panting heavily now, his impressive abdominals bunching and flexing as he continued to thrust his thick cock through your hold. The bioluminescent freckles that dotted his shaft were glimmering brightly and you never thought you’d ever use the word ‘beautiful’ to describe genitalia, but his cock was gorgeous.

All of him was gorgeous, truth be told…

You were attracted to Na’vi men. Ever since you were old enough to notice the opposite sex, you’d been drawn to male Na’vi. After all, you’d grown up on this moon, inhabited by and surrounded by tall, beautiful Na’vi. The humans who surrounded you at the compound and the camp were your family, and they were all much older. There were no men of your own species to look at or be attracted to. Spider was the only one of your generation and he was like your annoying, gross brother. Your attraction to Na’vi men had been an inevitable result really.

So now as you stood in the consultation bay, between the knees of this striking and aroused Na’vi male while he pumped his cock in and out of your hands, you’d never felt more validated and aroused in your life.

Your patient’s fingers were digging into the squeaky brown leather of the gurney now, straining slightly as his hips continued their onslaught. Your hands and wrists were completely drenched, soaking in his thick pre-cum. The slippery mess caused his cock to squelch obscenely as it slipped through your hold. The whole situation was so sensually explicit and you were never more thankful in your life than you were now that there were no CCTV cameras installed in the consultation bays.

You’d be expelled from your chosen profession for patient abuse… Though by the half-lidded, slack-jawed expression of pleasure on his face, he didn’t look much like he was being unwillingly abused…

A string of Na’vi curses left him then, followed by several panted moans. He abruptly pushed off his palms to sit upright and he stuttered, “W-Where is the container?”

A little stunned by his sudden and urgent tone, you stumbled in your own response, “The w-what? Oh, the sample jar?”

Panting heavily through parted lips, he nodded at you and you pointed to the desk on his left. You saw his gaze follow your eyeline and when he caught sight of the plastic collection jars that sat patiently waiting, he let out a hearty guffaw.

He reached for one and deftly flicked the already loosened lid from its mouth, still chuckling away between his huffing breaths, “It’s so small. You ready, doc?”

“For what?” You asked, realising only as the words left you what a dumb response it was as he handed the sample jar to you.

Your patient smiled at you and it was a salacious leer, all narrowed eyes and pointed canines showing, “You’re about to get your sample.”

One of his hands returned to guide yours, wrapping around your one remaining hand where it encircled his stiff cock. The pace of this rocking thrusts increased and he began to exhale with throaty moans that you swore made your own feminine core throb with desire. Gingerly, you held the collection jar up to him, being extra careful not to drop it.

With two more lurching breaths, his abdominal muscles contracted and his back bowed inward, his entire torso going rigid. You felt his cock harden impossibly before it pulsed and the breath he was holding left him in a coarse growl while his face twisted into an almost pained expression. His cock pulsed again and the first spurt of ejaculate missed the sample jar entirely, landing with a warm splat in the middle of your chest where the frills of your blue blouse peeked out from behind your lab coat. Quickly, his free hand grabbed hold of yours to position the jar better, while his other hand attempted to position his cock so he could shoot straight into it.

He was absolutely breathtaking in the midst of his orgasm. The luminous freckles on his face were twinkling and the striped cobalt skin of his neck and chest was glossy with a sheen of sweat. His cock continued to throb and pulse, emitting rope after rope of thick cum that splattered untidily over the mouth and sides of the sample jar.

You could see why he’d laughed at the size of it. There was no way the small jar could have held the full volume of what he was producing.

Coming down now off the high of his climax, your patient slouched against the wall behind the gurney, breathing hard. He caught your eye and he grinned indolently at you.

The adrenalin and heightened arousal in the atmosphere was fading rapidly now, and cold, hard reality was slowly returning to you. You looked at the pearlescent contents of the sample jar, which was still decently full despite majority of the sample not making it in there. You smiled to yourself.

Mission accomplished and what an exciting mission it was…

Carefully setting the jar down on the flat worktop of the metal sink next to you, you replaced the lid on it with sticky fingers and made a note to thoroughly wipe the jar down later before handing it to the lab techs.

Returning your attention to your patient, you smiled at him, suddenly shy again, “Thank you for your co-operation today. I’ll leave you to clean and freshen up. You can see yourself out after.”

His answering laugh was husky and he dipped his head at you, “I should be thanking you for your co-operation I think, doc.”

“Not a doc, remember?” You grinned at him and you were about to turn on heel to depart into the adjacent washroom when you heard him call out to you again.

“Hey Not-A-Doc, if you ever need another sample, I’m happy to provide another one, whether for med-science research or your own personal research.”

A girlish giggle left you and you felt your face flame again. You shook your head, making your way into the washroom to clean yourself up. He was a naughty one that one…

3K notes · View notes

ellemj · 7 months

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Time & Temptation - Roommates w/ Benefits Pt. 1

Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Summary: While the compound is undergoing a security system update, the team is moved into an apartment complex. You were initially set to room with Wanda, but Bucky makes you an offer that you don't even consider refusing.

Warnings: profanity, wet dream with unprotected sex and teasing, alcohol consumption, use of y/n, MINORS DNI, 18+!!!

Feel free to comment and let me know if this requires any other warnings.

Word Count: 3.8k

A/N: Okay, I'm super nervous about throwing something out here after Needs & Wants BUT we're doing this. It was now or never lmao. Don't forget, if you want to be notified when new parts are posted, you can add yourself to the tag list using this Google doc. It's a bit easier to add yourself vs. commenting to be tagged, because I don't always see comments before posting other parts. As usual, I have to give extra thanks to @littlemiss-yeehaw for being such an encouraging friend and for continually saving my ass by telling me what warnings my fics need.

You had been drinking. That’s the excuse you’re going with. You’d both been drinking. But is that really a valid excuse when one of you is a super soldier who’s completely unaffected by alcohol? You decide to blame Bucky Barnes. He should’ve been thinking straight. If he had been, you wouldn’t have ended up as roommates.

As you rub the sleep from your eyes, you fight to quiet the thoughts rushing through your mind at warp-speed. You didn’t drink enough to be hungover but you’re definitely feeling the effects from the number of beers you had just a few hours ago. Your overthinking only intensifies the headache that’s currently pounding behind your eyes. Ibuprofen. You need ibuprofen. You can see that the sun hasn't come up yet, which means it’s still either very late or very early in the morning, so you try to be as quiet as possible. You don’t want to wake your new roommate. Of course, you wouldn’t have known since you've barely ever interacted with the man, but he doesn’t sleep much. When you stumble out into the hall, wearing nothing but an oversized t-shirt and a pair of black panties, you fail to notice the way Bucky’s door hangs ajar, signifying he's not in bed. You run your hand along the wall of the hallway, feeling your way to the kitchen so you won’t have to make your headache any worse by turning on a light.

“Jesus, Bucky. What are you doing up?” You ask in a whisper, after being startled by the figure of the six-foot super soldier lurking in the kitchen. He’s shirtless, wearing only a pair of gray sweats and his dog tags, as he leans back against the edge of the countertop in near-darkness. As your eyes adjust, you let them linger over his defined chest and abs a little longer than you should have, and he notices your momentary ogling.

“Why are you whispering?” He questions, stealing a look of his own. And why the fuck are you walking around without any pants on? His eyes trail down your body, taking in the vintage t-shirt that barely skims the tops of your thighs and your toned legs that are on full display. You’re rubbing your temples with the pads of the middle finger and thumb of your right hand, so you don’t notice his gaze. Fuck. If you’re going to share an apartment, he may have to set a ground rule about pants. Though, he didn’t initially take you for the type to prance around half-dressed, otherwise he might’ve proposed the rule before you ever went to bed.

“What kind of beer did you give me last night?” The question rolls off of your tongue a little more accusatory than you intended as you take a few steps further into the kitchen and wave Bucky away from his place in front of the sink. He moves around the island and takes a seat on one of the barstools there, watching as you rise up on your tippy toes to pull open the medicine cabinet that sits high over the sink. Your t-shirt pulls up with the movement of your outstretched arm, dangerously close to revealing your ass to him. He clenches his jaw and looks down at the mug that’s gripped tightly between his two hands. He's dangerously close to breaking it into a hundred tiny pieces. Jesus. He’s definitely going to make wearing pants a ground rule, but he’ll wait until you’ve fully awoken to bring that up.

“It was just beer.” He mutters, taking a sip of his hot tea. He’s not usually one to drink tea, but he’s had a particularly sleepless night and sometimes it helps. It might’ve helped, if you hadn’t waltzed in here half-dressed and woken up his entire lower half.

“Beer from hell.” You grumble, retrieving the bottle of ibuprofen from the cabinet and shaking two of the little pills out into the palm of your hand. You put the bottle back in its place before fixing yourself a glass of water and downing the medicine. Bucky’s eyes follow your every move, but you aren't paying attention to him. “Did I really move in here?” You have to ask. You know it’s true, you know that you and Vision switched rooms last night. But still, you need to hear it from someone else.

“Yeah.” Bucky answers dryly. You don’t remember him being so short with you when he proposed the idea a few hours ago. You let out a deep sigh before taking another sip of water.

“There’s probably no chance Vision will switch back with me, is there?” You also know the answer to that one, but still, you ask.

“Throwing in the towel already?” Bucky taunts, raising an eyebrow at you. Is he really challenging you over this? He was the one that suggested you and Vision switch rooms, you merely agreed to it because there was no way you could survive practically being a part of a throuple in yours and Wanda’s apartment for the next three months.

“No, I’m just wondering if this was a good idea.” You retort, narrowing your eyes at him. Why the fuck isn’t he wearing a shirt? If you had known that he walks around like that, you definitely wouldn’t have moved in. He’s always been frustratingly attractive, even with his signature frown and reclusive nature. You really weren’t thinking straight when you rolled your suitcase in here, set your duffel bag and moving boxes down in the second bedroom, and decided to call this your new home.

“It was either this or you were going to have to knock on your door and ask Wanda and Vision to wrap it up so you could get some sleep. The choice was yours.”

“I was…influenced.” You claim, setting your glass on the countertop and crossing your arms over your chest. Your t-shirt once again rides up a bit and this time you catch Bucky’s eyes flitting down to your thighs. It’s fleeting, but you notice it. You know you weren’t really influenced. Bucky’s right. He simply offered a solution to your problem, and you took him up on it.

------------------ 7 Hours Earlier -------------------

It took Bucky less than ten minutes to unpack. He really only needs his clothes, a few weapons, and a decent book when he moves from one place to another. Vision, however, didn’t unpack a single thing. He quickly settled his suitcase and boxes into his bedroom before hurrying back out to the parking garage to help Wanda with her things. Bucky imagines he probably would’ve fared well with the ladies in the 40s, though the synthetic body and infinity stone might’ve scared a few off.

Once Bucky’s alone in the new apartment, he takes his time walking around and checking it out. It’s more spacious than he expected. When Tony said he was moving everyone into an apartment complex for at least the next three months while the tower undergoes a hefty security system update, Bucky definitely didn’t picture being moved into a luxury complex. The floor-to-ceiling windows on one side of the living room offer a stunning view of the city a couple of miles to the south, and the open floorplan makes the space seem that much bigger. Though, the kitchen being so open to the living room makes it so that the only privacy Bucky will ever have here will be behind his bedroom door. Not that he plans to hang out outside of his room very much. He didn’t do that very often back in the compound either.

Bucky’s gaze is broken away from the view when he hears the elevator ding in the hallway, followed by Wanda and Vision whispering back and forth.

“She’ll probably be out for at least an hour since she’s meeting Fury, but we might have even longer than that.” Wanda’s hushed tone is one that Bucky has heard plenty of times before. He’s heard it most often when it's late at night, and she and Vision are sneaking around together. They always think they’re being so stealthy, but honestly, the rest of the team has heard them getting it on on more than a handful of occasions. Tony should have just let them share a place, but Bucky understands why he didn’t. You would’ve been stuck with one of the guys. Tony thought he was doing you a favor by sticking you with Wanda, especially since the two of you are such good friends, but he failed to realize just how attached Wanda and Vision are lately. Bucky feels for you in this moment, he truly does. Though he’s never really been on your end of something like this, he was in Vision’s shoes often back in his early army days. He always had a pretty girl on his arm and he knows he made his fair share of people uncomfortable with his public displays of affection. He can’t imagine how much a roommate would’ve hated him if he’d had one back then.

He listens as Wanda and Vision pass by his apartment and continue on down the hall. The apartment immediately next to his is going to be empty for at least a few days, since it belongs to Clint and Sam, and neither of them were in town today to be able to move in. Yours and Wanda’s apartment is the next one over. However, even all of that space between your apartment and his is no match for Bucky’s heightened sense of hearing. It’s always been more of a curse than a blessing to him, and that proves true again now, as his ears are assaulted by the sound of Vision and Wanda tearing each other’s clothes off.

---

Your meeting with Fury was a lot shorter than usual, but he did send you back to your new apartment with an abundance of Chinese food from the hole-in-the-wall place that he chose to meet at. As you make the trek from the parking garage to the building, carrying an over-filled plastic baggy of food, you wonder if Wanda’s already started unpacking her things. Maybe she’s been working on setting up the apartment since you left and she’ll be ready for a food break. You glance down at your phone and see that it’s nearing 8 pm. You’re envisioning an evening of good food and friendly company in your new apartment, but of course, that’s not what you’ll find once you make your way upstairs.

As soon as the elevator lets you out onto your floor, you feel like you’re in college again, making your way down the hall of a dorm building. You probably shouldn’t have gotten your hopes up about the nice little roommate dinner. You’re not even three feet away from the door when you hear the distinctive sound of a headboard slapping against the wall and it freezes you in your tracks. Shit, you can’t even go into your own apartment. You stand there like a deer in headlights for about five seconds, horrified by what you’re listening in on, before you start backtracking to the elevator. You can enjoy the food from the comfort of your own car, even if it’s fucking freezing outside. As you start walking back down the hall, you catch yourself stopping outside of Bucky’s door. Surely, he’s home. You don’t know him as well as you know the rest of the team, but you do know that he spent a lot of time in his suite back in the compound. It’s unlikely that he’s out tonight. For a brief moment, you imagine yourself knocking on his door while he sits inside and completely ignores you. Is he the type to do that? To pretend he isn’t home? Hell, forget it. You’ll just go with your original plan of eating in the car.

Bucky heard the elevator ding when you arrived a couple of minutes ago. He probably should’ve stuck his head out into the hall and warned you, or even reached out to Sam and asked for your number so he could’ve texted you some kind of warning. He had every opportunity to spare you, but instead he sat in his apartment with some random documentary playing on the TV and a cold beer in his hand. He expected you to leave as quickly as you’d arrived, so he was surprised when he heard your footsteps stop short outside his door. If you’d had a sense of hearing anything like his, you would’ve heard him rise from the couch and make his way over to look at you through the peephole in the door. He stares at you now, seeing your nose and cheeks flushed pink from the cold weather, a bag of what looks to be takeout clutched in your left hand while your phone and keys are in your right, and an imperceptible expression written across your features. Why does he feel the sudden urge to invite you in?

Bucky doesn’t give the situation a second thought. His hand is tugging the door open before he even realizes what he’s doing.

“I…” You’re about to explain what you’re doing standing outside of Bucky’s door, but you don’t really feel like saying your roommate is fucking my roommate and I have nowhere else to go, so you simply hold the bag of takeout up and offer him a weak smile. “I’ll share.” You feel exposed as his eyes narrow and travel down your frame. He’s analyzing you, or maybe he’s judging you, you really can’t tell. Normally you’re someone who stands tall and holds their own, but in front of this man, you always seem to feel small. You’re about to cut your losses and ditch when Bucky pulls the door open a little more and tilts his head, inviting you in. No fucking way.

That’s how you ended up a few beers deep on his couch, feeling more comfortable around him than you’ve ever felt in your 6 months of living across the hall from each other. In fact, you felt so comfortable, that you were actively giving him shit about not finding a way to warn you about what you nearly walked in on in your apartment earlier.

“You knew they were going at it and you were just going to let me walk in there.” You accuse him, clutching your third beer bottle to your chest as you feign a look of offense. Bucky sits on the opposite end of the couch, his gaze feeling heavy on your face. He has this way of looking at people like he can see straight through them, and if you were a little less buzzed, you’d probably feel naked under his stare.

“How was I supposed to warn you? Leave a sign out in the hall?” He asks, taking a long sip of his sixth beer of the night. He’s far ahead of you, yet still, you’re the only one that’s feeling any effects from the alcohol. You wonder why he even drinks if it has no effect on him. Maybe he just likes the taste.

“You could’ve texted me, called me, sent a damn carrier pigeon, I don’t know.” As soon as the words leave your mouth, you realize that he most likely doesn’t even have your number. Not once has he ever had a reason to call or text you before, so why would he have your contact? “Give me your phone.” You say suddenly, sitting up straighter and setting your near-empty bottle on the coffee table. You hold out your hand and wait patiently as he eyes you closely. He contemplates brushing you off, but he’s finding this new side of you surprisingly amusing, so he decides to let the moment continue. He grabs his phone off of the arm of the couch and unlocks it before placing it in your open palm. You quickly create a contact for yourself, putting in only your first name and phone number. “Text me next time and tell me to stay out longer.”

“They were going at it for nearly three hours, where would you have hid out?” Bucky wants to know. With the compound off limits, he can’t imagine anywhere else you’d go to waste that much time. Though, he doesn’t know you very well. Maybe you have friends in the city, or hell, even a boyfriend you could crash with.

“The parking garage, Sam’s house, anywhere but here.” It seems like it’s safe to assume there’s no boyfriend if one of your first choices was Sam’s house, which is forty-five minutes away. Not that he cares. “I guess I should work on finding a good hideout for next time.” You click Bucky’s phone off and lean over the center cushion of the couch, gently setting it on his leg. Once you lean back to your side of the couch, tucking your legs in beside you and grasping your beer in your hand again, you notice Bucky staring. The look on his face is indecipherable, but you can tell that he’s deep in thought. You stare right back at him, tracing the rim of your bottle with your fingertip as you wait for him to say something. What he decides to say though, catches you completely off guard.

“Maybe you and Vision should switch rooms.”

-------------------Present------------------------

That’s how you ended up here. Standing in your now shared kitchen while a very shirtless Bucky Barnes continues to wonder why the hell you’re not wearing any pants. You watch him carefully as his sips something from a white mug. It looks so tiny in his hands, so fragile. You’re amazed that he can handle such a delicate item without shattering it. Your eyes begin tracing the veins that decorate the back of his flesh hand, traveling up his forearm until you reach his bicep. God, he really never misses a workout, does he? Wait, why the hell are you looking? You shake your head to clear your mind of whatever thoughts were about to enter and then grab your glass of water from the counter again.

“Goodnight, roommate.” You say somewhat sarcastically, passing behind Bucky on your way back to your room. He catches a whiff of your scent as you pass him. It’s something sweet, maybe vanilla? Whatever it is, he likes it. He rarely ever stood close enough to you before to find out that you smell so damn good. Where is his mind tonight? He’s starting to wonder if something really was off with those beers that you both had earlier.

---

“Bucky…” His name leaves your lips as a needy moan while you arch your back and focus on his touch. His hands are alternately cold and hot, each sliding up along the outer sides of your thighs at a tantalizingly slow pace. You want to lean back against him, you want to reach between the two of you and line his cock up with your entrance yourself, you want to beg him to fuck you already. “Please.”

“Shh, be patient, Y/n.” He coos, pressing his lips to your left shoulder. You feel his hard length slip between your legs and brush against your wet folds, teasing you relentlessly. You can’t help the way your hips grind into him, your cunt searching for friction wherever you can find it. He’s quick to grip your waist and still you, ghosting his lips up the side of your neck before they graze over the shell of your ear. “Try that again and you get nothing.” He warns. You’re trembling and he’s barely even done anything to you yet, while you stand right there on display for him, nearly bent over the kitchen sink. You let out a shaky exhale as his right hand leaves your waist. He wraps that hand around his cock and guides the head to glide back and forth along your pussy.

“Oh, god, please, Bucky.” You’ve been reduced to a quivering, begging mess before him.

“Tell me what you need.” He demands, continuing his teasing actions between your legs. You let out a whimper as you grip the edge of the kitchen counter.

“You, I need you.” You say breathlessly, hoping it’s what he wants to hear.

“You can be more specific than that, Y/n.”

“I need you to fuck me.” That’s what he needed to hear. He begins slotting his dick into your entrance. You feel the tip just barely stretching—

You wake up suddenly in a cold sweat, your t-shirt sticking to your heaving chest and your thighs clenched tightly together under the covers. Holy fuck. That’s new. It takes you about a minute to recover and calm your mind enough to fully realize what you just dreamt about…having sex with Bucky Barnes. The man you barely know, who you now share an apartment with. The man who is currently right across the hall from you, probably still shirtless, and in his own bed, and fuck.

While you were working on coming down from your wet dream, Bucky was lying wide awake in his bed. It was only an hour and a half ago that the two of you exchanged a few words in the kitchen. You scurried off to your room and fell asleep pretty quickly after taking your ibuprofen, but Bucky laid awake, as he usually does. He was actually just starting to drift off to sleep when he heard something coming from behind your door. Great, you talk in your sleep. Or at least that’s what he was assuming, until he strained his ears a little harder and realized he couldn’t make out any fully formed words, only sounds. And the sounds you were making…fuck. They sent all of the blood in his body rushing straight to his dick. You were moaning. You were fucking whimpering. He wanted to write it off as nothing. Hell, maybe you were having a nightmare and those are the sounds you make when you’re scared. But who was he kidding? You were obviously having a sex dream, and his fucking insomnia was keeping him awake to hear it all. Every filthy sound that slipped past your lips was like torture. Bucky found himself squeezing his eyes shut and gripping his quilt in both hands, trying to use all of his willpower to redirect bloodflow away from his lower half. It was wrong to be so turned on by this, by his roommate being unconsciously aroused. When you suddenly went silent, he knew you’d woken up. He thanked every entity he could think of for that.

He seriously fucked up when he invited you to move in. Little does he know, he will soon be paying for his lapse in judgement, even more than he is right now.

Next Part

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#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #mcu #bucky barnes x you #marvel #the winter soldier #winter soldier #bucky barnes smut

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loliwrites · 7 months

Text

The One You Need | four

🎶 I spent most my life thinkin’ love was out of reach, so maybe just this once, you could be the one I need, if you let me be the one you need🎶

pairing: neighbor!joel miller x f!reader rating: explicit, 18+ minors dni summary: when you move into town hellbent on keeping everyone at an arm’s length, your neighbor Joel finds his way into your life. warnings/tags: au, neighbor joel, age gap [reader is late 20s/early 30s, Joel is late 40s], hyper-independent reader, unannounced visitors, actual daddy issues, would-be suitor being forceful, perceived b&e, handgun [not used], SMUT, slight resistance kink, mild choking, fingering, oral [f receiving], slight degradation [one usage of whore] unprotected p in v sex, praise kink, aftercare, terms of endearment [sweetheart], THEY SHARE A BED, female reader, no physical description, protective!joel, soft!joel, dare i say ei!joel, no use of y/n. word count: 8.0k joel miller masterlist | part three a/n: we're doing the thing, y'all!

This was new for Joel. When you’d dodged him for nearly a month after he’d put your bed together, he just figured that was the action of a new neighbor from the west coast. He never figured you’d waltz your way back in with your faulty refrigerator. But this wasn’t that. This was post-sex when you all but fled his home. And for having told him one night stands weren’t your style, he thought you were doing a mighty fine job of making them your style.

It had been three days since that night and he hadn’t heard a peep. Not a check in, drive by, or walk through. It was as if your presence in the neighborhood had been a figment of his imagination. The only reason he knew it was real was because he was missing one of his shirts – the one you’d left in. And for three days hadn’t even done as much as slingshot it back to him or send by way of carrier pigeon. The amount of times in the past three days he thought he’d walk over and ask for, or demand, an explanation surpassed the amount of digits on his hands. But every time he talked himself out of it, telling himself all you needed was time.

But time only brought you one thing. A boy. In some automatic, foreign car. He rolled up the night of that third day and stepped out in a well-pressed black suit. Joel wasn’t spying, no… he just happened to mosey out to the porch and saw it all happening. He even witnessed you leave your house in a long red dress. Saw you descend the porch with this new boy, how he opened up the passenger door for you, and how you ducked into it. As that foreign car drove away, Joel turned and punched the post by his porch steps. The post was left unaffected. Joel’s hand, however, throbbed for the next three hours.

✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿

Staying out of Joel’s space had been intentional but the date had not been. This guy; he was a friend of a friend of a third cousin and he popped up out of nowhere. You hadn’t even really wanted to go out at all, let alone on some random date. But when you were shown a picture of the guy, he was… cute. He looked like the type of guy you normally let ruin your life, so ultimately you agreed. You hoped and prayed that Joel didn’t see you leave with this guy. And you spent the rest of the evening hoping and praying Joel would forgive you if he had. This wasn’t how you wanted it to go. The plan wasn’t to bed your neighbor and then leave him on the curb like trash. The plan wasn’t even to sleep with him, but given that you had, the rules to the game had changed so quickly.

And Chad… Brad… whatever the hell his name was, he was just… what you expected he’d be. He was attractive and he knew it, but he had nothing on Joel and he had no idea. He had blonde hair cut into a neat and tidy style but it had no story. Joel’s unkempt graying curls told you of his age and the unwillingness to burden his life with things as menial as primping himself. This guy had bright blue eyes, but they didn’t leave you searching their depths for the meaning of life like Joel’s had. Clean-shaven, baby-faced, uncalloused hands… There were any number of things that he was that Joel wasn’t, and staying present in the moment with him proved to be a challenge when you hadn’t even processed everything about Joel yet.

When the date finally ended, and you were escorted home, you peeked over at Joel’s house, wondering if you’d see him out on his porch, strumming his guitar. You hoped not. Please, on everything that is holy, don’t let him be out there. And when you couldn’t quite tell if he was or not, you decided to count your lucky stars and work with the assumption that benefited you most.

Chad… Brad… walked you up to your door and stood eerily close to you while your back was to him, unlocking it. Heat radiated off of him, and unlike the heat that came from Joel, you didn’t quite like how this one felt against you. Door unlocked but foregoing opening it just yet, you pivoted in a tight circle so as to not brush up against him as you faced him.

“I had a good time tonight, thank you,” you murmured, staring at his face to get a read on if he was going to lean in for a kiss you were going to have to dodge.

“Y’know, I didn’t get to see your place when I first got here,” he said as if that were a totally normal thing for him to have done. “Maybe you can give me a tour,” he reached around you and went for the handle.

You pushed against his arm with your hip before he could get his thumb on the latch, “maybe another time.”

“You’re gonna cut the night short?” he smirked and closed the practically imperceptible gap that was between you anyway.

Trying to back up, but running out of room as your back hit the door, “yeah, I’ve got an early morning.”

“What I want won’t take very long,” he leaned his hips forward, pressing them up against yours where it was oh so very clear he was sporting a semi. “C’mon, I bought you a fancy dinner, the least you could do is put out,” he still reached around you and pressed on the latch, nudging open your front door.

“Hey bud,”

Your heart dropped into your stomach. Panic. Or was it relief? And managed to escape from Brad’s (or was it Chad?) hips, tugging your door shut again as you side-stepped away. He turned around and found Joel, climbing the porch steps coolly.

“I think you should leave,” Joel said, resting his hands on his hips. He even smiled at his suggestion.

“Who are you?” Your date asked and looked back in your direction as if he’d be able to grab you again, but you’d already moved to the side.

Joel flicked his eyes at you as if inspecting to see if any hurt had been done, then looked back at the would-be suitor. “Doesn’t matter, I think it’s time you got outta here,”

“Dude, she was just inviting me in,”

“Dude, no she wasn’t. I don’t wanna have to call the cops, just get goin’,”

Your date chuckled incredulously. He turned to you with what looked like mild fury in his eyes, “your pussy’s not worth all this.”

You nodded in agreement, “it definitely is not.”

Joel waited until he was gone – watched him all the way to his car, and until it took off down the street, before he looked back at you. You’d already made it back to your front door and were backing into it, leaning against the frame.

“Thanks,”

He nodded once and turned. Then over his shoulder, “your pussy is worth it.”

You laughed and shook your head, “thanks!”

Back, safe and sound in your house, you locked the front door right away and carried on through the rooms, first into the kitchen to grab a glass of water, then back toward your bedroom. There was a brief thought about how Joel must’ve been outside when you’d arrived back home, and now there were new lucky stars to thank. But that thought was pushed aside when you glanced into the den as you passed it and it made your heart stop. It was the only room left to be unpacked. You’d eventually use it as an office, but right now it was just a handful of cardboard boxes and pictures that hadn’t been hung yet. But the mess wasn’t what gave you pause. It was that it was the room with your back door, and that door was currently wide open.

You ran back through the house, set your glass of water on something, and bolted back through the front door. “Joel! Joel!”

He was gathering his things from the porch, getting ready to go inside when he’d heard your panicked calls and immediately ran off his porch and toward you, meeting in the middle of the street.

“There’s– my door– open–” you took a deep breath just to fill your lungs with substantial air. “I think someone broke in,”

In the same instant, Joel reached behind his back and pulled a handgun out of his waistband. He side-stepped you and went toward your house, knowing you’d be right behind him.

“You had that on you the whole time?!” He didn’t answer. Just kept laser focus on your house. “Were you gonna shoot him?”

“Maybe,”

“Joel!”

Finally, he turned toward you, and even in the darkness you could tell the glare he shot you was something icy. “‘M’gonna need you to be real quiet when we go through your house, okay?” He waited for you to nod, obediently. “Stay right behind me. Hand in my pocket or finger in my belt loop, got it?”

You nodded again, and when he turned around you tucked your fingertips into the back pocket of his jeans. Even as he began to walk and approach your home, you stuck close, feet falling in rhythm with his to practically meld yourself to his body. He held the handgun poised in front of him in both hands, only lowering one to push your door open. With a clear line of vision inside, he paused and listened before carrying on inside. All of his movements, searching and clearing each room, were deliberate and methodical. He took his time. Reaching around your back to hold you close to him when he needed to turn or pivot, making sure you remained fully behind him at all times.

Without searching every room, he made his way back to your bedroom. No one was standing there, or hiding under the bed, and with the closet being the only other place to hide in the room, it was one of the easier one’s to search. The closet, he soon came to learn, wasn’t a viable hiding place as it was still only partially unpacked, stacks of luggage and boxes obscuring the floor. He shut your bedroom door and lifted your hand out of his pocket.

“I’m gonna search the rest of the house. Stay here and lock the door,”

“Joel, what if–”

He held up his hand and shook his head, “don’t worry about it. Lock the door. Don’t open it until I get back.”

That was it before he went back out. You ran up and locked it behind him, then quickly backed away, to your bed, nervous as all hell, and fighting every urge your body had to break out in a sob. It seemed to take forever. His absence made the worry inside you grow. If only he’d just come back. You’d say or do whatever he wanted to make things better again. To not have him shooting daggers your way. To just live as harmoniously as you needed to, to not make the neighborhood unbearable. You’d become a hermit and never see another man in all your life if that’s what it took. Not that that didn’t seem like a great option at this point.

Three gentle knocks on your door, “it’s me. You can open up,”

You ran to it and turned the knob, the lock clicked back on itself, and you came face to face with Joel once again, finding him completely unharmed. He tucked the handgun back into his waistband, “we had some strong winds earlier. Might’ve blown the back door open. Did you have it locked?”

Thinking back, you couldn’t be sure. You’d been in and out of it so frequently, throwing things in the trash that the likelihood of it having been left unsecure was relatively high. Shrugging, you looked up at him with timid eyes, hoping to find a little bit of comfort there. But they were still cold, thwarting off any advance you might be making for warmth.

“Well, the latch is busted now so you’ll have to get someone in here to fix it,”

“You can’t fix it?”

He tilted his head to the side. After what you’d put him through in the last few days, he was surprised you even asked that at all. You were the one who apparently didn’t want him around. That is, until you needed him for something. “You ignore me for three days after we sleep together and are only talking to me because you need me to do you a favor,”

“Joel,”

“I’m not some fuckin’ toy you get to play with whenever it’s convenient for you,”

“You scare me!”

“Why?!”

The argument had gotten loud and you hadn’t wanted it to. That was too much like home. You just wanted peace and quiet. But even if your surroundings could be, your brain never was. And it hadn’t been for the last three days. It had been loud and persistent. “Because what if this keeps going?! Whatever this is, it keeps going. We keep fucking. And you keep fixing things. And suddenly we’re staying the night at each other’s places sporadically. And then I’m meeting your daughter. And your brother. And you’re learning about all my fucked up stuff. And we keep doing this thing for however long. And then we give it a label. And we’re a couple. And it just keeps going.”

Having grown baffled at the road your brain had traveled down, Joel furrowed his eyebrows and studied you. He folded his arms over his chest, and only when you’d stopped talking did he offer any response, “so?”

All that and a one word answer? You could’ve slapped him silly. “What if we never break up?”

He laughed and rolled his eyes, “sweetheart, I don’t think that’d be an issue. You seem difficult,”

You shoved your hands against his chest as he continued to laugh. “I mean it! And then I’m like… dependent,” you nearly gagged at the word, “on you like some sad, servant housewife that’s just waiting in her window for her husband to get home so she can fix his meals and wash his clothes.”

He let out a breath that almost sounded like another laugh, “you’re fuckin’ insane, you know that?” Swinging at his chest again, he caught your wrists this time and held them against him tightly. “First of all, a wife’s not a servant. Second, I wouldn’t want you to cook for me anyways. Campbell’s soup in a can for the past week! And lastly, if we never broke up – which I assure you we would because you’re nutty – then you’d be the person I get to come home to and fall into your arms, and relax with! And I’d take the trash out to the bins, and pick the flowers in the yard for you, and pull your fuckin’ hair out of the shower drain when it clogs. And yeah, you might do my laundry every now and again, but we’d do it because we’d love each other. Your shit would be my shit, and there’s nothin’ I wouldn’t do for you.”

You stood, mouth agape, not blinking, staring up at Joel. He let go of your wrists and all but pushed them away, but you were back on him in a second. Hands replaced on his chest, this time with the utmost care, fingers curling into the fabric of his cotton t-shirt.

“I’m not trying to take your independence away. Not tryin’ to trap you. Hell, we don’t have to call this anything, just don’t ignore me.” He only stared, as if allowing himself to live in the feeling of your hands on him, pressing down on his chest but really into his soul. “If you want a man and not a boy, you got one, but it requires you to be a woman and not some scared, little girl.”

“I can be,” you assured, eyes dropping down to where your hands lay on his chest. Then once looking back into his eyes, your hands drifted further south, blazing a trail over the fabric of his shirt until you felt the rough denim of his jeans.

“Y’know,” he smirked almost devilishly, as if daring you to continue on, “you’re just a dog with a loud bark, but you got no bite.”

“Did you just call me a dog?” You grinned back, playfully squinting your eyes.

“No bite at all. You just fold and turn over on your back like a pup,”

“I got bite,”

Joel’s eyebrow quirked but his eyes didn’t waver from yours. Not even when you lowered a hand to his crotch and gave it a squeeze. He gave you no reaction, just tilted his head to the side as if he was waiting for you to amuse him.

And it got your mind spinning. What did bite look like? What did he think that meant? That you’d get on your knees and give him the sloppiest head this side of the Mississippi? Because to you, bite looked like everything you’d ever been to him. It looked like stubbornness or as he liked to call it brattiness. Last time, he’d fucked it out of you. A tried and true method. But if he wanted ‘bite’, he’d get it. Your way, on your terms.

So you swiftly undid his jeans, making quick work of the button and zipper as if they were only the slightest of inconveniences, and slipped your hand into his pants, giving him another generous and firm squeeze. By the looks of it, he was the one that nearly folded. But something else kept him preoccupied. It was then you remembered the handgun he’d tucked so haphazardly in his jeans. He reached around his back for it as you’d created a less secure space for it. And though it gave you pause as he pulled it out and glanced down at it to ensure the safety was on, it didn’t deter you completely from continuing. You removed your hand from his pants and pushed against his chest, sending you both in opposite directions. With the growing distance as you rounded to the side of your bed and a premature feeling that you’d somehow won, a smile passed over your lips. It was there and gone in a matter of milliseconds. No sooner than you’d felt it stretch across your face, Joel had closed the gap between you, lifted his free hand to your throat and with a firm hold on it, pushed you backwards. It wasn’t until you’d run out of real estate, pressed up against your closet door, that he stood over you with an almost playful glare like a cat who’d caught a mouse to toy with. He bent over and set the handgun down on the bedside table, then returned his complete focus to you. Fingers applied the softest of extra pressure to the sides of your neck and catching your gentle nod, he pressed them into a tighter squeeze.

Annoyance emanated from you – for you – that you liked it so much. That you enjoyed him having control over you, and effectively taking yours away. You hated that you wanted to give him control, when in every other aspect of life, you clung to it like a life raft in the ocean. Maybe thinking that that was all you had, there was no other fight or bite left, Joel’s fingers loosened from around your neck. And as though you hadn’t quite learned the lesson yet, thought you’d gained back some of the control, grunted and pushed on his chest again with all your might. It only sent him backward one step, and he retaliated with a searing grip on your wrist with one hand, and the return of his other hand to your neck for a cautious squeeze as his hips lowered to yours, effectively pinning you motionless.

“That was cute,”

You wriggled beneath him, trying to break free, but quickly found it pointless. His weight kept you where he wanted you and his hand on your neck was the decision-maker now. You let out a sigh of surrender, body fully collapsing and giving up beneath him.

Joel felt the fight leave your body and released your neck and wrist at the same time. With his hips still buried into yours, and now absently rubbing against you, he ducked his head to the side and planted a series of soft kisses to your neck where his fingers had just been.

“You just wanna be a good girl, don’tcha?” He could feel your pulse quicken against his lips on your neck. The only response he got came in the form of a needy whine and he set his hands on the closet door at either side of your head. “You don’t want to have to bite, huh?” He was almost goading you now, grinding his growing length against your waist. “Just looking for a bigger, badder dog to lead the way for you,”

You weren’t sure why, because except for in a sexual sense, it wasn’t necessarily true, but you nodded anyway. He could have control here. You liked not having it here if it meant you got to retain it in other aspects of life. At your acceptance, he laid a kiss on you. As good of a kiss as he’d ever given you; made sweeter by that fact that you’d made sure you’d gone without it for the last few days. Just as a headrush began, he pulled away, and it had you leaning forward as much as you could to try and get his lips back.

“I want you to get undressed and lay down on your back for me.” He thought you’d get going, but he was confronted with a pout instead. Smacking the side of your hip, “get going or I’ll put those lips to better use,”

“Is that a threat?” You smirked, reaching behind your back for the zipper on your dress.

“‘S’a promise,”

You couldn’t even really relish and appreciate his promise as at this point you remembered the trial in gymnastics it took to zip up your dress in the first place. It started far too low on your back and ended far too high to be accessible for a single human to do on their own, and at one point, you’d seriously considered just letting your date into your house without dinner just so you could stay naked and save the trouble. In hindsight – small blessings that you’d managed to get it zipped up.

“Help,” you murmured to Joel and spun around in the same moment, pressing your ass back against his crotch. Setting your hands on the closet door for more leverage to rut against him, you pressed harder, feeling the form of his growing length against your backside.

Joel didn’t waste too much time in helping you, opting to tug the zipper down in one quick fell swoop instead of taking his time with it. But as soon as your back was exposed to him, he snaked his arms around your torso and pressed one large, strong palm over your belly while the other found your clit. He cupped your sex and gently bit down on the back of your shoulder. Then as if he remembered what he’d previously been doing, he removed his hands from you and tapped your ass.

“G’on, lay down,”

You obeyed him and delicately let your dress fall from your shoulders and to the floor. He was pleased to see you already without a bra, and by the time you turned and laid back on your bed, Joel was at the latter part of pulling his t-shirt over his head and throwing it to the floor with your dress. He descended upon you as you’d moved up to rest your head on the pillows. But that wasn’t in his plans yet. He grabbed you by the ankle and pulled you down along the duvet until your legs hung over the end of the bed.

“Joel,” you gasped, finding yourself immediately repositioned. He hadn’t even bothered with a kiss to your lips or a check in, but opted for migrating straight to your breasts.

“Yeah, sweetheart,” he kneaded your soft flesh in his hands and knelt to the floor at the end of your bed.

You heard his knees click on the way down, and truly wanted to say something about it this time – maybe that it was time for a couple knee replacements – but found yourself cut off again when he gripped onto the thin line of your g-string and began to pull it away from your center. “Joel, wait…”

And to his credit, being face to face with your wet slit and already sporting a hard on, his fingers stilled immediately. Quit their pursuit of ridding you from the underwear that was barely there anyway, and opted for bending in to kiss the inside of your thigh.

“I don’t think…” your voice trailed off as he sucked on your inner thigh, surely leaving a mark. Then steadfastly, kissed the skin again.

“I like you like this,” he murmured against your thigh before moving an inch higher and kissing that fresh skin. “Soft,”

A whimper died in your throat, only barely emitting soundwaves into the space between you. But your gaze remained locked on him for any sudden movements.

“I got you, you know that, right?” He kissed your opposite thigh when you nodded. “You can be soft, and small; I got you,” he smiled when you nodded again. “Can I take this off?” his fingers toyed with your g-string again, “can I taste you? And give you a couple brain-melting orgasms,”

“Where’s that horn,” you giggled and looked around the room as if searching for it, finding it bought you some time and distance from having to look directly in his soul-piercing eyes. But he grazed his teeth against your inner thigh again like a horse chomping at the bit, and that got you locked on him again. “You can try. A little bit,”

His hands got back to immediate work and carefully slid the miniscule fabric past the curve of your ass, down from your core, trying not to get lost in the way a bit of your arousal connected you to the fabric for a second longer until he pulled it further away, down your thighs, past your calves, and finally, off completely. He lifted your legs, set them atop his shoulders, positioning himself right in the center of where he yearned to be, and kissed your inner thigh again, this time higher than he’d previously been. His hands found their way to your hips, fingers digging into the flesh as he worked you into a more comfortable state before lips would meet your slit.

Nerves bubbling up to the surface, realizing you’d have a helluva time trying to dissociate from this, you reached down and clawed at the back of one of his hands. He flicked his eyes up to you in time to adjust, releasing your hip and allowing you to take his hand in yours. He moaned against your skin as he moved higher, now to where your leg and hip met, and laced his fingers with yours. You squeezed his hand and he took it as approval for the next step. Of laying a wet kiss on your clit. Thighs briefly squeezed closer to his head, releasing just in time as he licked a broad stripe from your entrance up to your clit.

A high-pitched groan fell past your lips and he shook his head against you when his mouth made contact with your clit again. He hummed too, sounding beyond elated with his current position. A noise you hadn’t ever quite heard with such enthusiasm. As if everyone in the past had been doing it cursorily instead of out of sheer desire.

Joel flicked his tongue over your clit repeatedly, then lowered his mouth to your entrance and rimmed the tight opening. The feeling of you squirming beneath him was all he needed by way of encouragement. He guided your hand up to his head, not completely satisfied until you released his hand and grabbed hold of his hair. Only then did he move his hand up over your belly and pressing his palm flat against it to hold you still, while his other hand moved from your hip and hooked around your thigh.

“J-Joel… please,” you breathed out, lifting your head to look down at him. But his eyes were closed, getting lost in his ministrations that were unending. You let your head drop back to the bed, “oh my god, please.”

In the past, there had been a worry about the amount of time it took, or how long a boy would be willing to go to get you there. Now, you weren’t quite sure what time was. Or how much had passed. Maybe it had been only a few minutes, maybe it had been fifteen. But your eyes snapped open and made contact with your bedroom ceiling because Joel pressed his middle and ring fingers against your soaked entrance. “Joel,” you whimpered again.

For the first time since he’d begun, he pulled his mouth off you, though his eyes remained on his fingers for the time being, “I got you, girl. Bein’ such a good girl for me,” as he knew it would, your body reacted to his praise. Relaxed. And he slowly urged his fingers inside you, gaze now flicking upward to watch your expression. Jaw slack and eyes rolling back until they shut, he evenly pulled his fingers in and out of you. “Look at you, sweetheart. Like my fingers inside you?”

You nodded emphatically, choking out a sound with a throat that had run dry.

“This pussy’s so good,” he leaned back in and licked your entrance where it met his fingers and continued up to your clit, “tastes so fuckin’ good.”

Thighs closed around his head, muscles twitching and spasming on their own volition. “Don’t stop. Please don’t stop,”

He smiled against you, softly sucking your clit into his mouth and rolling his tongue flat against it. The mewls it drew from your lips sounded like the sweetest song he’d ever heard. You didn’t need to tell him not to stop. He’d keep doing whatever it was that got that sound to come out of you.

Joel moaned against you and it sent a vibration up through you that was the last thing you really needed to get you to your first orgasm of the night. It had been on a nonstop incline since he’d started, and the release was just there at the edge. You were sure Joel could tell. His fingers moved more hastily, his mouth and tongue not ceasing for even a second. But then – your brain entered the picture. Took center stage. Reminded you that some man was in between your legs, his mouth performing pure magic… and though your orgasm still neared, your brain fought for distance.

Your hand had been nestled snugly in his hair, holding him against you, begging him to stay put. But now you were using it to push back on his head. Your release was there, centimeters away, and you desperately pressed against his head, trying to pry him off of you. “Joel, no, please. Stop,”

He pulled his mouth away, though his fingers remained pumping inside of you, and with a growl, he leaned forward and moved his free hand up to your neck, getting a soft grip on either side of it. “Come on, right here,” he curled his fingers inside you, “come all over my fingers.”

But you only whined and writhed beneath him, now frustrated that you’d pushed away his mouth – the very thing that had been getting you to your climax.

“Got you moanin’ like a whore with my mouth… Push me away…” He shook his hand with his fingers deep inside you, rocking the entire lower half of your body, “c’mon, give it to me.”

The hold he had on your neck tightened and without his mouth, that had been your undoing. You came with a scream, back arching off the bed, chest spasming. Joel removed his fingers from you before you’d ridden out the entirety of your climax, and slapped his hand down on your clit at the tail end of it. You whined a little louder when that sent rippling shock waves through your body. Chest heaving, your sex, already red and swollen, Joel still got up from his knees and leaned over your body for a kiss. You could still taste a hint of yourself on his tongue and it made you want to ravage him more.

“Want you to fuck me,” you begged against his lips, pushing his underwear down past his waist. At some point while he was on his knees, he’d pushed his jeans down and had been able to step out of them when he stood back up. However it happened, you didn’t care, as long as it got him inside of you sooner.

Joel smiled against your lips and tapped your hip as he stood back up and rid himself of his underwear. “Turn over,” he ordered as he stroked himself, smearing the precum that leaked from his tip down along the length of his shaft.

Instantaneous obedience rushed over you and you clumsily turned over to your stomach and got up on your hands and knees. Joel’s hand returned to your skin soon thereafter. Fingers splayed over your ass cheek, digging into the supple flesh. It was the gentlest of the actions you’d feel over the next few minutes. Just enough time to relish in the expanse of his hand before he was using his other hand to guide his length to you, sliding his member over your wetness and then finally pushing himself inside of you.

The air evacuated your lungs with the feeling of him sinking into you. Relentlessly. Until he’d worked himself balls deep, nestled tight in your core. A throbbing overtook the lower half of your body and you allowed yourself to collapse, chest and head now resting on the bed while your backside remained up for Joel to use. And that he did. The thrusts you remembered from the first time together had felt deep, and were, no doubt. But they paled in comparison to the feeling of this, of his length actually splitting you in half, like an axe to a piece of wood. You released a long, lingering cry that changed into a breathy moan when his thrusts picked up, nothing but the sounds of your shared labored breaths and skin slapping together.

“Shit,” Joel groaned, gripping onto your hips with a bone-crushing hold. His hips faltered for just a second.

If you hadn’t been paying such rapt attention to the feeling of each inch inside you, you likely wouldn’t have noticed the stutter of his movement for the slightest of seconds. But it was impossible to ignore how he felt inside you. A fullness you sure was indescribable – at least indescribable by any sense that would do it justice. And a heaviness that was all-encompassing. It seemed to seep into every cell, weighing you down in the most delicious of ways. On shaky arms that seemed unlikely to be able to bear any weight, you pressed up from the bed to return to your hands and knees.

But no sooner than you’d risen, a hand left your hip and migrated to the center of your upper back, pushing you back down until your chest was flush with the mattress again. “Stay like this,” his jaw dropped open when you squeezed around his shaft, and he very nearly doubled over. “Just like this,”

“Joel, I can’t–”

As though he was a mind reader, he slid his hand down your back and enveloped it around your hips; the pads of his fingers making contact with your clit again. Your body went soft for him again, malleable to whatever course of action was to come next.

“Yes. God yes,” you pleaded like God was in the room with you in the form of Joel.

“Feel fuckin’ incredible,” he moaned and offered a particularly hard thrust. One that had caught you off guard, and your knees slipped, sending your stomach down to the bed as well.

He managed to follow you down, keeping himself sheathed deep inside you, and with hand still curled around you, kept you lifted enough for his fingers to continue massaging your clit in small, quick circles. Now with only your ass left above the rest of your body, he straddled your legs and scooted himself up closer. His thrusts now deep but short, you let out a shriek and curled your fists in your sheets.

“Takin’ this cock like a champ,” he bared his teeth into his bottom lip with a thrust that had his tip pressing against the opening to your cervix. You whimpered again, which only made him smile. “Yeah, you like that? Tell me about it,”

“Love it,” you panted. Legs pressed together, feeling fuller than ever with his hands on your clit, coil in your stomach was winding up. Tighter and tighter, and you knew it was only a matter of moments before you’d snap. “Fuckin’ love your cock, Joel,”

Just expressing the sentiment made you throb, and you knew he felt it. Knew it when he replaced the circling of your clit with a couple quick taps to it which made your body jerk. He smiled again and reset his hands on your hips, using them for all the leverage he needed for what would end up being the last of what you’d be able to take.

“Joel,” you cried and unwound a hand from the sheets to reach back for his hand on your hip. You curled it around two of his fingers, “I’m gonna…”

“Yeah, you are. Gonna be a good girl and come all over this cock?” He groaned after your body responded to his praise, “let me have it, sweetheart.”

You felt his hips falter again and thought if you could just hold out for a while longer, you’d both hit the peak together. So you stiffened your body, and tried to stave off the snapping of the spring inside you. Tried to blur out the pleasure for sheer focus. But all that did was send a shot of discomfort through you which settled in your chest and your body purged it with an animalistic growl.

Joel pressed his hands to the bed on either side of you and rested himself against your back, cautious to not lay all of his weight on you. He bit into your neck, “don’t wait for me. Go on, I’ll be right behind you,” his jaw slackened when your muscles clenched around him, sucking him in deeper and milking his length.

“Promise?” you squeaked out, the beginning of your orgasm gearing up deep in your stomach.

He smiled against your neck and nodded, “yeah, I promise. C’mon, sweetheart.”

It didn’t take too much more coaxing than that. One more thrust and you unraveled beneath him. Body trembling involuntarily with an endless string of moans filling the room. He grunted behind you and pulled out before you’d even finished. Stroked himself just a couple times before his own muscles flexed and released, releasing his come over your lower back and ass. You turned your head to the side when the feeling of his come hitting you finished, and smiled breathlessly at the sight of him giving his length a couple more tugs. He let go of his member and let it rest along your ass, taking deep breaths to steady himself.

Joel leaned down, his cock sliding to your lower back. He nestled his nose against your cheek and kissed your jaw, “you’re a good girl, huh?”

You grinned, cheeks growing hotter, and lifted your hands up behind you to tangle them in his hair.

“Yeah, you are,” he pecked your cheek once more then pushed himself off you. “I’ll be back, lemme clean you up.” He only waited for you to nod before he was off.

Left alone in your room, you leaned up on your elbows and looked around. It was pretty sparse and impersonal, like the rest of your house still. Nothing like Joel’s. In his house, everything screamed him. It was lived in, worn. The things that were out of place had been so for so long that their lack of a place became their place. He’d spent years making it a home while you were still just in a house. You wondered what it would take for your house to become that. Time? Maybe a dog? Or worst case scenario – a man?

Joel re-entered your room, towel in hand, and crawled back on the bed to you. He gently wiped away his spend until your skin was clean again. “Couldn’t find a washcloth,”

After he threw the towel to the floor by your bed, you rolled over onto your back, “don’t have ‘em. Got these,” you lifted her hands and waved them about.

He scrunched his nose and you swatted at his chest as he laid down beside you. With a hand holding yours against his chest, he maneuvered his other arm around you, behind your neck and shoulders, and pulled you into him. You rest your head down on his collarbone and focused on your fingers, running them along his tanned skin leaving invisible doodles in their wake. If you could just stay here like this, in the post-sex afterglow, you could almost convince yourself that the closeness wasn’t freaking you out. It was a lot so quickly. A far cry from your status quo.

“Can you stay tonight,” you asked in the same moment Joel kissed the top of your head. And because he didn’t answer right away, you felt the need to justify yourself. “If it wasn’t the wind and someone did bre–”

“I’ll stay,” he shook you reassuringly, “‘cause you’re nicer to cuddle up against than my old pillows,”

You wrapped your arm around him tighter, “this doesn’t mean anything.”

“Of course not.” For just a moment, he let his fingertips dance over the skin at your bare hip, smiling to himself at the goosebumps that erupted across it. Then he tapped your hip, “you should go to the bathroom,”

Ah, yes. Your delicate pH balance. Apparently it was on Joel’s mind more than it was on yours. You willed yourself out of bed and carried on into the bathroom, whereupon looking at yourself in the mirror, it was impossible to ignore the seemingly permanent smile on your face. You tried to get rid of it; tried to turn your lips into a straight line, but it wouldn’t leave. It was there. Etched deep and sure. And you knew it had very little to do with the fact that you were in your own home, a thousand miles away from family drama, and very much to do with the man waiting for you in bed.

If you from two months ago could see you now, you were sure there wouldn’t have been the slightest chance of recognition. While to most, and maybe even to Joel, a change had scarcely happened, you saw the leaps and bounds of apparent progress. Two months ago, you’d closed on the house and had swore off boys altogether. Like a form of housekeeping, you swept those ideas into a dustpan and deposited them in the garbage. Boys were superfluous. Intimate relationships were superfluous. A couple lousy boyfriends had taught you that, but they hadn’t been horribly awful people. They’d just been boys. Perhaps the worst of it was that your father had taught you that. Taught you that the man who was supposed to love you unconditionally, couldn’t, or just flat out didn’t. Taught you that romantic relationships looked like prison sentences. That a man would never be able to evolve and understand his own emotional range, let alone yours. And worst of all, that despite being obviously unhappy with everything, that he’d never leave, never let you leave; and instead hold you hostage in a relationship that everyone could see had failed, but he refused to admit for the sake of his own delicate ego.

You grinned, thinking about how the only delicate thing about you was your pH balance.

“Y’alright?” Joel asked as you re-entered your bedroom.

You figured you’d looked pretty spaced out upon returning. Not entirely sure how you’d made it back there from the bathroom. Still, you pressed a smile and crawled back into bed, immediately curling up into his side. Back in only his underwear, his skin against yours gave off tremendous heat and for the first time (perhaps in life), you really found yourself hoping that Joel was all the things he said he was, and that it wasn’t just performative.

“What’s this?” He held out a lone bolt in his fingers.

You tilted your head back from where it rested against his chest, “where’d you get that?”

“Side table,”

“You’re snooping in my stuff?”

“Yeah,” he nodded and jiggled the bolt in his hand again. “Where’d this come from?”

You shrugged and lowered your head, rubbing your cheek against his bare chest to get comfortable again. “Found it when I was Swifferin’ beneath my oven,”

The bolt stopped moving in Joel’s fingers and you peeked back up to find him stunned. “‘S’truly amazing your house hasn’t exploded yet,”

“What?” you whined, “it works and it’s not like I smell gas. It was probably an extra part,”

“Since when do ovens come with parts you don’t need?”

“Joel,” you whined again and wrapped your arm around his belly, holding him close.

He leaned over and set the bolt back down on the side table. He’d fix that tomorrow. Along with your back door. And maybe give everything else in your house a once over to make sure you wouldn’t combust.

✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿

Sun rays filtered in between the slits in your blinds and you cursed yourself (yet again) for not having invested in black out curtains. One of these days you would and maybe then you’d get a restful night of sleep. With a groan and an aching in your hips, you turned onto your back and looked to the side where Joel was still asleep, his back to you. Generally, sharing a bed with someone resulted in you having the worst night of sleep known to man. It was as if your brain could never really settle knowing someone was beside you. And while you had slept some last night, you couldn’t wait for Joel to not be in your bed the following night.

After having slid out of bed, successful in not rousing him, you padded down the hallway to the kitchen and squinted out the front window where the neighborhood was slowly coming to life. A couple kids were riding their bikes in the street. Mr. Cole was hobbling down his driveway to pick up the newspaper. Your routine was coffee first and after a night like last, where your hips weren’t the only thing sore, but your thighs and core, too, coffee was supremely necessary.

The slowness of the act was almost meditative. You could turn off your brain. Grab the filter, scoop the coffee grounds, add the water, hit the button. At least on a normal day. What you didn’t know at that moment, but came to know halfway pouring the water, today was not to be a normal day. Not at all. Because a knock on your front door had you spilling some of the water down the side of the machine instead of within the well.

You turned, confused, and then were riled into action when the knock happened again, this time more insistent. Perhaps one day you’d learn to look through the window first, or install a door with a peephole, but on this day, you simply tugged the front door open and felt your heart drop into your stomach.

“Mom? Dad?”

#joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x you #joel miller fic #tlou fic #tlou fanfiction #joel miller angst #joel miller au #joel miller fluff #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x female reader #ppcu #ppcu fanfiction

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itssideria · 6 months

Note

Genuine question, really not sure what to do/who to vote for- uh do you have any suggestions? Protesting yes, but what now- today's like endless bad news

hey, anon.

i'm assuming you're referring to my post on the 'vote blue no matter what' gang — i wrote that in a complete (and justified) fit of anger. i should start by saying i am not american, or palestinian — i am an arab who grew up in an arab country, though, and all of us have long since grown sickened and enraged with american imperialism.

my honest answer? i don't know. i'm not american. i'm not a politician. maybe i'm some horrifically idealistic piece of shit but i just think that brazenly funding a genocide, lying about it, and then bombing the only country that tries to prevent it should earn you the death penalty, but oh well.

@/fairuzfan has posted a lot about this — she's a palestinian in the states. not tagging her bc we aren't mutuals. she has stated that she won't vote in the presidential elections at all, but rather at local levels and congress. one person has stated that they are engaging in activism more than ever, forming communities, movements, working their way up. other people will be voting for a third party candidate they agree with, such as Cornel West or Claudia de la Cruz — you can read up on their stances for yourself, i'm not active in US politics. some will threaten to withhold their vote from Biden, whether they are serious of pretending, as that may scare him into changing his tactics.

none of these are foolproof. most of them prevent nothing. i am aware that for americans this shit feels like life and death — it's what all of you say, every four years.

however, and i cannot state this enough, i am so past the point of caring. my entire region has been fucking devastated by your nation. egypt can't threaten suez access because it'll get invaded. yemen and syria and iraq are dealing with past and current bombing. the entire fucking gulf sucks your country's dick to get oil money to build vanity projects and hire more slave labour. and palestine? palestinian blood will run thick with the weight of the crimes the us committed against them.

for once in their stable, unaffected fucking lives, i want americans to pretend—pretend!—the rest of the world exists. for ONCE, i want americans to say "fuck this, he committed genocide, i will never write his name on my ballot". for ONCE, i want americans to sacrifice something, ANYTHING—you barely live under a democracy as is. poc americans report no improvement under biden compared to trump. white queer people think they'll be protected and so shout at the need to throw the developing world under the bus.

there are no good options. but dear God, just don't put the name of the man funding a genocide on your fucking ballot. it didn't save anyone four years ago. it won't now.

#asks #anon #hope this does. anything tbh #palestine #gaza #israel palestine conflict #gaza strip #free palestine #israel

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antimatterz · 10 months

Text

reverberating ruin

blade, seele, jing yuan, yanqing, dan heng (normal and imbibitor lunae separately), kafka x gn!reader

summary: how they react when you praise them after hitting high numbers of damage.

cw: self-aware au, just a short headcanon post

enyo's note: featuring my previous or current favorite dps characters. title is the achievement unlocked when you hit 300k damage. my dan heng favorism might show in this? tagging @hiraethsdesires <3

content under the cut | masterlist

blade

it was in a boss battle that blade suddenly struck the highest number you'd ever seen from him. as you yelped in surprise, he just looked at you weirdly, as if to ask, what's the matter?

you point at the screen, which adds to his confusion only more. did he do something wrong? he couldn't imagine; he served you as he was supposed to do as your main dps.

"bladie!" you exclaimed. "you– that was insane!"

insane? what was insane?

you gushed, "i thought this damage only existed in streamers' videos. you're the best!"

he would never admit it, but his immortal heart fluttered a little when your words of praise landed upon his ears.

"i just did what i'm supposed to do," blade huffed as he folded his arms and averted his gaze away from the screen.

he tried so hard to act unaffected but your words do something to him. his mindset is void of any positivity, so the feeling is quite foreign to blade. it had been ages since he last experienced something like that.

please praise this man more often!

seele

it was just a normal battle in the overworld. nothing special, no special buffs or whatsoever. as your opponents gathered afore you on the screen. seele pariently awaited her turn before she dashed off with her insanely fast attacks.

merely a single strike, but a huge number flew across the screen. your jaw dropped and you squeaked her name in delight. seele shot you a sideways glance but continued battle, and only when every foe is down, she asked you about it.

"you did a massive amount of damage!" you gleefully told her. "i'm so proud of you, seele!"

her purple gaze widened upon your words, and she opened her mouth to say something but words didn't come out; you severely caught her off-guard with your praise.

"it's nothing," she sputtered. "it's just my duty."

she actually got shy, not something that occured a lot.

acted indifferent but was quite happy with your praise.

jing yuan

in a boss battle, he was playfully showing off without making it known to you – but yes, occasionally he liked to show off just for you because he enjoyed the way you gushed over him.

accompanied by the lightning lord, he caused a huge number to fly across the screen, making you gasp in awe.

"aeons, jing yuan," you said. "you're so strong."

he put up a humble act, hiding his smile because he knew he was strong. regardless, he loved being told so by you, which is why he tried a little harder sometimes.

"only for you," he shot you a playful wink.

continued battle even more fiercely, and while he was fully aware of the high numbers he hit, he loved to hear you praise him for it.

it was kind of like a game to him.

getting praise as he effortlessly hit numbers with more digits than you were used to. what more could he wish for? notice the satisfied smile the sleepy general wore as he fought your battles.

yanqing

the boy always tried so hard for you, never satisfied with his peformance. always eager for battle, only to be disappointed with himself when he deemed his damage unworthy.

so when you suddenly let out a squeal after he one-shot an opponent he haltsled his movements mid-battle. he gazed at you through the screen curiously.

"what?" he asked.

"yanqing!" you giggled. "did you see that?"

"see what?" he inquired, not quite getting it.

"that was a bizarre hit! you literally one-shot that dude," you chimed. "thank you, you're amazing!"

"i–" the boy began, cheeks flushing red. "it's uh, it's nothing. i'm just fulfilling my duty."

"that doesn't make it any less cool," you countered. "i'm proud of you, yanqingie. you did well."

aeons, he was so happy, but tried to play it off coolly. but after your words of praise, he tried even harder and harder, now with newfound motivation.

please praise him more often, so that he could finally feel proud of himself as well!

dan heng

honestly, you weren't sure what to expect from a free character. that couldn't be too good, right?

but dan heng proved the opposite multiple times already with numbers that reached higher and higher.

until he suddenly hit a number so high that it had you yelp in surprise upon seeing it fly across your screen; was dan heng really capable of hitting such numbers? well, apparently he was, and you were delighted.

"dan heng!" you exclaimed. "did you see that?"

"i did," he calmly replied. "what's the matter?"

"that was an insane number!" you explained. "aeons, you're amazing."

at this point dan heng's cheeks flushed a little bit, but he tried to hide it. "it's simply because you gave me a good build."

you tried to praise him, but he turned it right back towards you. that wasn't part of the plan? you got a little flustered as well.

"i just got lucky while farming for relics," you shrugged it off. secretly you just put in a lot of extra effort because you liked him, but that was your little secret.

dan heng (imbibitor lunae)

you had been pre-farming for him for quite a while, mainly to have good relics ready for him. you managed to create a build you were quite proud of and as soon as he came home, you equipped them.

beforehand you had heard great things about imbibitor lunae, and you were eager to see him in action now that he was built and leveled.

well, he instantly hit amazing numbers right off the bat and it left you speechless. you simply squealed in pure glee because ??? you just got him and he already outdid all your previous dps characters in terms of damage.

"oh my god, you're awesome," you impulsively chimed with a little too much enthusiasm. you clasped your hands over your mouth but dan heng offered you a faint smile, amused by your happiness.

"i merely do what you expect me to do," he explained. "i don't deserve your words of praise, but i am grateful regardless."

"as long as you know that i'm super happy with you," you told him with a smile. "you're a gamechanger."

you already loved dan heng in his normal form, but in his vidhadyara form he was even more amazing – you instantly had a new favorite dps, and you would make sure that he knew how happy you were with him.

kafka

when you pulled for her, you never expected her to take on the role of a dps. but from the start she hit quite some large numbers, while you thought of her as only a debuffer.

well, jokes on you, this lady is strong.

equipped with both a gun and a sword, she took down opponents with ease, and you can't help but gush over every defeat. and she knew how you reacted, shooting you a coy grin often.

you didn't even have to voice your praise; it was all over your face, your entire demeanor. and it spurred her on to do even more damage.

"you're so–" you began, but she cut you off with a smile.

"i know, darling," she said coyly. "you simply make me want to my best. you're adorable, after all."

you tried to praise her, but she threw it right back at you and you ended up being quite flustered. but secretly she loved it when you spoke so highly of her.

it went so effortlessly. and aeons, did she look good while fighting. numbers flew across the screen, leaving you stunned. well, that's kafka for you.

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zhongrin · 1 year

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| ◆ ch. vago mundo ⑊ zhongli

--⟢ i. tales passed down for generations | the people of liyue know of many tales…

𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑚𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡 ⬙ 𝑚𝑎𝑖𝑛 𝑚𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡 ⬙ 𝑡𝑎𝑔𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡

◇ tags ◇ (all tags from the series masterlist), sagau, pure fluff, dragon!li

◇ a/n ◇ yk what i told myself i won't post this until after i wrote the liyue chapter but ✨i✨don't✨care✨anymore✨ hsdlkfjskldjf i have no idea when i'll update universe abound and this has been sitting on my drafts for FAR too long... besides, it can be read as a standalone anyway. now. once again i am here to tell you that dragon!zhongli is love, dragon!zhongli is life. thank you for attending my ted talk-

you stare.

dark brown scales, decorated with shining gold lines seem to pulse under the sunlight filtering through the curtains.

you stare harder.

the long appendage twitches before it shifts to hide behind the man standing right in front of you.

"your grace," morax coughs awkwardly into his fist and upon being greeted with your silence, decides to go back to fiddle with the coat he was halfway putting on before you barged in, "i believe it is still… thirty minutes before our scheduled stroll. is something the matter?"

instead of answering, you blurt out in an amazed voice, like a young child that just spotted their favorite candy, "you have a tail!"

"i… yes, well, considering that i am a dragon, and they do have tails-"

"it's so pretty! why don't you have it out more often?"

the genuine enthusiasm in your voice makes him smile.

"it's- ah, it could be an inconvenience sometimes."

you blink, not understanding the meaning of his words. he gives you a bashful look and proceeds to focus on his garments instead. knowing that he's not going to elaborate anymore, you choose to study the scaly appendage - unlike morax's still body, it's twitching and swaying around where it rests on the floor, almost as if…

….. hmm?

"zhongli."

"yes?"

"i love you."

the sudden confession makes him go still, and you observe his reactions in interest.

"i love you too, dearest."

aside from the short pause and the elegant smile on his lips, the man looks as dignified and unaffected as ever. however, your impossibly wide grin strains your cheeks as you eye the rhythmic thumping of his tail against the floor.

"rex lapis," you gasp, "… are you wagging your tail???"

"ahem. c-certainly not, i don't-"

"oh. my. god. that is the cutest thing ever!"

"............ beloved….."

"no no no no no if you hide your tail then i'm revoking our daily walks and regular kisses!"

zhongli's tail perks up and begins to sway anxiously, and you feel like crying from how adorable this whole thing is.

"now, let us not take such drastic measures, darling. i believe this matter can be discussed, perhaps over some tea-"

"please please please let me pet your tail!"

your lover's cheeks flush pink, and you feel like the happiest deity in teyvat.

people of liyue have heard of many tales. stories about adeptus protecting liyue behind the city itself, of fearsome plains drenched in monster dust as they were struck down by their god, of the stone gate collapsing and effectively cutting off supply routes from the city of freedom - not that it has been used for quite some time now….

people of liyue have seen many things. terrifying disasters almost sinking their whole city into oblivion, their beloved archon appearing once more and taking charge against vicious monsters overrunning teyvat's landscapes, their own creator coming into liyue after continuous years of prayers and offerings…

but never in their life they would have thought the day would come when they see the god of contracts himself - known for hurling stone pillars that now stand as guyun stone forest, vanquishing countless gods in the archon wars, and sealing many divine beasts who have run rampant across the land - stroll about the city arm-in-arm with the divine creator, his draconic tail proudly in full display and gently swaying side to side as the two converses softly, eyes staring deeply into each other's akin to lovers who hadn't seen each other in eons.

they see it, and they think: yes, this tale too, shall be passed down to the younger generations.

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #rex lapis #morax #zhongli #zhongli x reader #universe abound #rin writes

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starlitmark · 10 months

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Summary: You can’t keep your hands to yourself when it comes to your boyfriend. Pairing: Chenle x fem!reader Tropes: established relationship au Genre: heavily suggestive, fluff(?) Rating: PG 13 Warnings: language, implication of sex, make-out session, hickeys Word Count: 385 Note: No thoughts. Chenle’s just hot.

“Good morning,” chenle mumbles, voice still riddled with sleep, “I didn’t expect you to be out of bed already.”

“Mmh,” you hum, “I figured breakfast would be good.”

Chenle pulls his fingers through your hair, detangling a few knots that had formed after the escapades of the night before. Though, fixing your hair would definitely not help if his roommate ended up coming back right now. You’re clad in only your boyfriend’s shirt and both of you have painfully obvious hickeys on your necks.

Your boyfriend wraps his arms around your waist from behind, and rests his head against yours. A smile graces your lips as you continue preparing your food.

“You know what?” He begins to muse.

“What is that, Lele?” you entertain him.

Chenle releases you and leans against the countertop behind him. You feel his eyes running over your body and it makes a heat run through you.

“You look damn good in my clothes. Far better than I do.” You can hear the smirk in his voice.

You look over your shoulder and are met with the smirk you expected. After dating him this long though you know exactly how to come back at him. Turning around fully you stand about a foot away from him.

“Debatable.” You shrug as if you’re unaffected.

“Debatable?” Chenle raises his eyebrow at you.

“I think they look far better on the floor, but that’s just me.”

That knowing smirk grows on his lips again, “That they do,”

He reaches out and wraps an arm around your waist, tugging you to be flush against his body. You know exactly where this is going. He captures your lips in a heated kiss. Thank god his roommate isn’t home, you’re sure Renjun would have an aneurism if he found you two making out in the communal space.

Before you know it, you’re spun around and sat on the countertop. Chenle’s hands are digging into your waist as some sort of way to keep himself under control. That’s the last thing you want though. As the kiss grows increasingly hot and heavy, a small moan escapes your lips. You reach out and start to play with the waistband of his pajama pants.

“Back to bed?” He asks, though it’s not a question.

“You don’t even need to ask.”

Tag List: @jaehunnyy @ericssmile @anyamaris

Networks: @kwritersworld @k-vanity

#chenle x reader #kwritersworldnet #kvanity #nct fanfic #nct x reader #nct suggestive #nct dream fanfic #nct dream x reader #nct dream suggestive #chenle fanfic #chenle suggestive #chenle smut #chenle fluff

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wecandoit · 8 months

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Hi everyone! I've been doing this challenge called 30 days of intentionality (30doi) and I thought I'd explain how I'm doing it in case anyone wants to join in! I have no prompts for this one bc it is by nature quite personal.

THE CHALLENGE

Similar to the 30 days of productivity challenge, this one is really open to interpretation. Anyone can do it and mold it however they like, I'm just here to give a little bit of guidance to those who need it.

For me, intentions include 'keeping in good health', 'studying for my dream job', 'working towards my career', 'maintaining and building good friendships'.

If you're unsure about how to format your posts, this is what i include:

- date - intentions (if you make these vague, it's a good idea to elaborate on how you plan to achieve your intentions) - a recommendation (current reads, songs, movies, videos, etc) - reflection - tags with #30doi here's an example of one of my 30doi posts for reference

other notes:

I usually update my post throughout the day, crossing out the stuff I've done and adding in a reflection before bed if i can.

You can do this challenge manually, I sometimes write my intentions down on paper for a few days and then transcribe (you don't have to transcribe)

This challenge should be for you, don't worry about posting consistently, or making your posts pretty. the important thing is that you are being intentional with your day.

Even if you don't physically post or write your intentions, try to think to yourself what they might be each day, and try your best to meet those.

Off-days are okay, in fact, they are what make this challenge a real challenge. if you're just running on the momentum of having had a perfect streak, there's no difficulty in this

Tag your posts under the tag #30doi so that others can see your posts and interact (including me)

if you want a reblog, i track the tag #heydilli which can be used for non-challenge posts too

That's all I can think of for now, but like I said, the 30doi is open to interpretation and i am by no means taking credit for 'creating' the challenge. like i mentioned for the 30dop, i don't really believe these challenges can be created. Below the cut is a rant about intentionality and my reasons for doing this challenge if you want to have a read.

Hope to see your posts and progress, xx dilli 🤍

What is intentionality?

We all know what intentions are—your purpose and meaning behind doing something. Intentionality is bigger, it is "the structure which gives meaning to experience." Intentionality is your capacity to have intentions. Having intentions governs how you perceive every experience you have. Take this example: if your intention for tonight is to wind down and relax, settling down in front of the TV will be viewed as a way to rest, reset, recover. If however, your intention for tonight is finish up uni work, watching TV will be viewed as a way that you procrastinate and avoid doing your work. Your perception of anything, then, is informed by your intentions. Without intentions, anything that you do can seem pointless. I often have a never-ending list of assignments, but if I don't actively intend to do work, watching Youtube all night doesn't seem like a bad thing—after all, it's not like I intended to do anything else with my time.

Why am I doing this challenge?

Lately I find myself moving through my daily routine rather mindlessly. I do a bit of schoolwork here, a bit of mindless scrolling there, but I don't really know why I'm doing these things. I have goals that I'm working towards, but they seem distant and unaffected by my day-to-day choices. In reality, though, the choices that I make every day are what determine whether I reach my goals, where I will be and what kind of person I am in five or ten or however many years. By setting intentions, I will make it clear what I should be doing and why it is important that I do it. The idea is that by merely logging my intentions and results over these 30days, I will subconsciously be predisposed to fulfil those intentions