#tagging you cause you are my no 1 enabler

[nakylvr]

could you maybe write one of the girls (preferably dani or sophia) reacting to the readers buzzcut because i’m getting one in february and i am so fucking nervous and i think it would boost my confidence a lot✨ it also doesn’t matter if it’s tmasc or masc lesbian whatever you feel more comfortable with💙💙💙 thank you

im so sorry this took this long 😭 but congrats on it cause i could never 😍 i love my hair too much LMAO. i decided to do both for you 🫶

warnings/tags: established relationship, gn!reader (no pronouns mentioned), fluff

sophia

sophia is always supportive of you no matter what. there's never really a "bad" decision you could make that would upset her ever unless it was drastic. so the day you show up at the dorm unannounced, with all your hair shaved off down to a buzz cut, the way she silently stared had you thinking this was one of those bad decisions. but then she smiles and just lets out a quiet "wow" before wrapping her arms around your neck. her hands gently graze the nape of your neck, the prickly hair making her smile more. first she's asking why you decided to do it, but then she's telling you how good it looks and how much she likes it. while she's partially upset she can't run her fingers through your hair anymore, she can't deny that she loves rubbing her hands down the back of your head whenever she's kissing you. that being said, she will buy you beanies when it gets to winter cause she doesn't want your head freezing.

daniela

dani is your number 1 supporter. always. whatever you want to do, she's there encouraging it even if it's stupid, she's an enabler. so when you tell her you were thinking of cutting your hair, she was like "oh, okay" but explaining you wanted a buzz cut had her literally jumping with excitement. she asks (begs) if she can do it, saying that she can if she has the equipment she can do it and will pout if you don't let her. if you let her, shes ecstatic and is immediately sitting you down in the bathroom to do it. she'll ask a couple times if you really want to do it, and when you say yes she just smiles and starts buzzing the hair off. when she's finished she's grinning, dimples showing as she stands you up and has you face the mirror saying how good she did. she is immediately rubbing her hands all across your head giggling while telling you how good it looks and how much she likes it. she will be taking pictures of you and her in the mirror to show it off and post them while being so dramatic about how amazing it looks. she doesn't shut up about it for the next few weeks, and even then she's still expressing how much she likes it when it's just you two together.

[scoonsalicious]

Unwanted: Chapter 16, Unaccompanied - Pt. 1

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, Vomiting 🤮

Word Count: 1k

Previously On...: Jade's been trying to get into your head about Bucky, but he assured you she was just trying to cause trouble between the two of you.

A/N: We are officially half way through the story, lovelies! I'm so happy to be on this journey with all of you! NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when I update, please enable notifications from my Blog page!

Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917!

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

Taglist: (Sadly, tag list is closed; Tumblr will not let me add anyone new. If you want to be notified when I update, please Follow me for Notifications!) @jmeelee @cazellen @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @blackhawkfanatic @buckybarnessimpp @hayjat @capswife @itsteambarnes @marygoddessofmischief @sebastians-love @learisa @lethallyprotected @rabbitrabbit12321 @buckybarnesandmarvel @fanfictiongirl77 @calwitch @fantasyfootballchampion @selella @jackiehollanderr @wintercrows @sashaisready @missvelvetsstuff @angelbabyyy99 @keylimebeag @maybefoxysouls @vicmc624 @j23r23 @wintercrows @crist1216 @cjand10 @pattiemac1@les-sel @dottirose @winterslove1917 @harperkenobi @ivet4 @casey1-2007 @mrsevans90 @steeph-aniie @bean-bean2000 @beanbagbitch @peachiestevie @wintrsoldrluvr @shadowzena43

Tumblr will not let me directly tag the following: @marcswife21 @erelierraceala @jupiter-107 @doublejeon @hiqhkey @unaxv @brookeleclerc

The day you and Bucky were scheduled to leave for Moscow, you went to the dining room to say your goodbyes before boarding the Quinjet. The team was gathered around the large dining table when you walked in, plates of Thai food spread across the space. 

“You ordered Thai?” you moaned. “Knowing that I’m about to spend hours in a tin can, stuck eating MREs for who knows how long, risking my life for truth, justice, and freedom, and you order Thai just as I’m leaving? I thought you were my friends! My family! Do I mean nothing to the lot of you?!”

“Relax, drama queen,” Nat said. “I’ll fix you a to-go container.”

“Thank you, Natasha,” you said. “You are a true friend.” You glared around the room at everyone else, pointing an accusing finger. “The rest of you, however… I will remember this.”

Bucky wrapped an arm around you and squeezed your shoulders. “Maybe we can make a detour in Thailand and get it straight from the source, doll,” he said with a laugh.

“I like your way of thinking, Barnes,” you said. Natasha handed you the to-go container and you did a little happy dance. “Thank you, Natty!” you squealed, opening up the container to take a sniff of the deliciousness contained within. 

As soon as the scent of Khao Soi hit your nostrils, you were overcome with a wave of nausea. “Oh my God,” you groaned, shoving the container into Bucky’s arms and throwing your hands over your mouth. You sprinted toward the nearest bathroom and barely made it to the toilet before you were vomiting into the bowl.

As you heaved, you felt a cool, metal hand pull your hair away from your face and a warm flesh hand rubbing circles on your back. “You okay, doll?” Bucky asked, his voice full of concern as you heaved up the contents of your stomach. 

“I think there’s something wrong with that Khao Soi,” you told him once your stomach muscles had stopped spasming. “Maybe the coconut was bad?”

Bucky grabbed a few squares of toilet paper and gently wiped at the sides of your mouth. “Gotta say, it smelled all right to me.” He placed a palm to your forehead. “You’re feeling a little warm. You sure you’re not comin’ down with something?”

“Maybe,” you said, giving it some thought. “I have been feeling really tired lately.” 

“If you’re sick, you know can’t I can’t let you go on this mission,” Steve’s voice came from where he was standing in the doorway. “It’s a liability.”

This was the first time Steve had spoken to you in ages, and you couldn’t help but wonder if it had something to do with the fact that you and Bucky weren’t technically in a relationship anymore. 

“I’m fine, Steve,” you said, but before you could further protest in favor of your good health, another wave of nausea overtook you and you were once again vomiting into the toilet bowl. 

“It’s alright, baby,” Bucky said. “I can do the mission solo. It’s more important for you to rest and get better.”

You nodded, feeling miserable and completely drained now. “Will you help me back to my room, Buck?”

“Of course, sweets.” You flushed the toilet and Bucky helped you stand up. In an instant, he’d scooped you up, carrying you, bridal-style, back down to your room. He deposited you gently on the edge of the tub in your bathroom and poured you a cup of water.

“Here, rinse your mouth,” he said, offering you the glass, and you accepted gratefully. You swished the liquid through your mouth, rinsing away the acidic taste of bile before you spat the water out in the sink. While you were doing that, Bucky brought you a change of clothes, helping you out of your tac-suit and into one of his tee shirts and a pair of pajama pants. 

“Better?” he asked as he tucked you into your bed. 

You nodded, burrowing down into your scarlet comforter. Wanda had been right– it had been permanent, and it was now your favorite bedding. “Thanks, Buck,” you murmured. “I’m sorry we won’t be going on the mission together. I was really looking forward to it.”

“Me, too.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead. “But you’ve got nothing to apologize for. I just want you gettin’ better.” You smiled at him as he grabbed your hand and kissed it. “I hate leaving you like this.”

You laughed. “It’s just a stomach bug, Buck,” you said, squeezing his hand in return. “I’ll be right as rain when you get back, promise. But you better go before Steve comes banging the door down for you.”

“Is there anything I can get you before I go?” he asked, brows furrowed with worry. “I could make you some tea.”

“No,” you stifled a yawn. “But thank you. I’m wiped; I think I’m just going to take a nap. Puking is exhausting. We gonna do our calls?” you asked him. Each time one of you was away on a mission, you would call the other once a day, a kind of proof-of-life to ensure to the other you were safe. If a call wasn’t possible, you’d make sure to at least send a text, never wanting the other to worry more than necessary.

“Of course,” he said. He leaned down to kiss you, but you pulled away.

“Buck,” you whined, “I just threw up. You don’t want to kiss me right now.”

“Always wanna kiss you, Pocket,” he said, leaning in again. This time you let him, though you kept it from getting too deep. Yes, you knew you were blurring the lines of the new parameters you had set up for your relationship, but successful missions were never something to be taken for granted, so you would never pass up the opportunity for what could possibly be a last kiss.

“Alright, Barnes,” you said when the kiss broke, “get outta here before Steve comes in and drags your ass out.”

With a final wave, Bucky departed, leaving you alone to drift off, the discomfort in your stomach temporarily forgotten.

<- Previous Part / Next Part ->

[regency-monster-love]

Part 1 of Colin and Susannah | Next chapter | Master post

Male werewolf x female human | Regency era | SFW but slightly suggestive | autumn fluff

~ 🐺🎩 ~

“I do so love autumn leaves.” Susannah bent to pick one up, a crimson red brighter than fresh blood, and twirled the stem of it between her slender fingers. “I will never tire of their vibrant colors.”

“That’s fitting, for I believe you’re a painter, are you not?” Colin asked her.

Her face brightened with a mixture of surprise and pleasure. “Indeed I am. But I don’t recall telling you so. How did you know?”

“More than once when we have met, I have smelt paint upon you.” She lifted her hands to peer at her fingers, as if the paint were still upon them, and he smiled. “I do not smell any now, but even if you had washed off all visible traces of it, I might still be able to detect that it was recently there. Werewolves have a very keen sense of smell.”

Ah yes. Sometimes it was easy for her to forget that Mr. Barrington was a werewolf. Her eyes roved over his face, so perfectly human and normal, save for his golden eyes that seemed almost to glow. She wondered what he looked like in his wolf form, but did not feel they were acquainted well enough to ask such a thing. “Even in your human form?”

“My senses are a bit dulled in this form, but very little. Even like this, I can smell that you used rosewater in your hair, and you ate raspberry preserves with your breakfast.”

Her cheeks flushed a pretty pink over her freckles, and she reached up to wipe at the corners of her mouth. The werewolf chuckled. “Don’t worry, Miss Oakden, there is no jam still on you; I simply can smell it.”

Her eyes widened. He was the first werewolf she had ever been personally acquainted with, and she found him endlessly fascinating. Thankfully, he was always patient with her questions, never acting offended by them or mocking her ignorance. “That’s remarkable! How can you smell it if it is gone?”

He shrugged. “I don’t pretend to understand the science behind it. It is simply an innate skill I possess. I can smell many things I cannot see.”

For instance, he could smell that she was his mate.

He did not mention this out loud. She would not understand; as a human, he knew she could not smell mating bonds, as his kind could, nor even feel the bond beyond the faintest vague sensation. He did not wish her to think he only cared for her due to the bond, when in reality, it was his admiration of her as a person that had caused the bond to form, not some higher power dictating his feelings. Even though she must feel at least some degree of affection for him as well, in order to enable the start of that bond, she might not realize her own feelings yet, and he did not want to distress, frighten, or confuse her.

He could smell her matehood even now, intangible yet so very real, thick and sweet in the space between them as they walked beside each other along the garden path of her parents’ estate. It urged him to stay close to her and protect her. It urged him to touch her, lick her, mount her, bite her—to make her his.

But he kept his hands clasped behind his back and a respectable distance between them as they slowly strolled the grounds, colorful leaves rustling under their feet. He could wait to have her, while he courted her in the manner of a gentleman, as she would expect. He would earn her love the way a human man would.

And once he had it, he would claim her the way a werewolf male would.

~ 🐺🎩 ~

End of part 1 of Colin and Susannah | Read next chapter

Read all of my Regency monster ficlets and snippets at the tag #my writing.

[meowkusunoki]

toa tsumigram analysis

@tsumigram

here's my "t2 toa is a different alter" propaganda. for simplicity's sake, i'll highlight what i think is trial 1 toa with green and not-trial-1 toa with orange. i will be calling the system as a whole toasys.

also, i don't know if this is common knowledge or if i'm digging up obscure lore but toa is a system

(we were being silly)

I can smile and throw a peace sign on the school photo, but I’m inexpressive and quiet, someone like this is a perfect listener, so others naturally give their secrets to me.  You're all lucky that I easily forget them, because I couldn't care less, but it's fine, it's a fair trade — tell me anything, just don't ever leave me in solitude.*

Ahh, I hate being called weird. I don't care if people lie to me or use me; but I hate being ignored and pushed away. The truth is that, I don't hear what I'm saying; because my only purpose is to fill the silence, or because I’m so much, so much afraid, the reality grows unreachably distant…*

Q.15: Crowded or isolated places? Crowded. I don't like being alone.

*...actually, i also have a theory that memory report toa is a different alter. but i will get into it another day. either way i still have the Q15 answer on my side!!

so, from all this you'd expect that being isolated would cause toa a lot of distress right? but he seems perfectly calm. granted, he could be suppressing or just hiding his distress, but there comes a point where you're far past being able to do something like that.

It's not that my personality has changed. It's rather the circumstances that enabled another behavior of mine. It might be surprising, but I’m as multifaceted as any other human.

basically, what i think happened is that the stress of being isolated caused toasys to switch to an alter that's more aloof/uncaring. i think that's the alter that is narrating the unknown memory as well, but i'll get more into that later.

Oh, name? I'm Suzuki Toa. Uhh, I don't have much to say about myself, though. It's pretty awkward… talking about myself.

Toa: Ahh, is that so. I'm not good at talking about myself. It's pretty awkward… But, I'll do my best. I'm 15 years old and studying at school. Umm, what else? Oh, right, my name is Suzuki Toa I guess.

Toa Suzuki. 16 years old. I don’t have a lot of hobbies, and being called a “friend” annoys me. It’s nice of you to talk to me. 

It's not that my personality has changed. It's rather the circumstances that enabled another behavior of mine. It might be surprising, but I’m as multifaceted as any other human.

toa has a hard time talking about himself, as he finds it awkward, but toa has no such qualms. also it's worth to note that his way of speaking is completely different. well-spoken and formal, meanwhile toa has a much more informal manner of speech, often going "uhh" or "umm" and saying "like".

Toa: The verdict… I don't know. Those voting options have so much personality in them. If I were to choose what describes me, it'd be a Bystander. Someone who is not even in the interaction…

If you consider me a Perpetrator, should I act like one? Is this what you’d like to see? Rest assured. I’m too much of a coward to do any real harm. …Did I say something wrong again?

toa seems much more accepting of the verdict. admittedly this one's kinda reachy but this is overanalyzing 6 lines of dialogue hours.

anyway, onto the unknown memories. i brought this up in the tags, but most characters' is in first person, except for a few: kouta, hotaru, hiiro, and toa. i've taken this to mean that the characters are dissociating to some degree, and with toa it's pretty explicit that it's one alter talking about another.

Let's introduce the main characters: a boy born in an unlucky place and a boy born in an even unluckier one. If you forget their names, please refer to the first page; though as for their stories, you have to figure them out on your own. Ah, you're late to the start. “Hey, I don't want to see someone pretty like this crying.” “But it's not that your appearance is the only thing that catches my attention.” “It's just the instant thought that came to my mind, to maybe comfort you a bit.” “Come on, don't look at me like this.” The older boy lets out a weak, lighthearted laugh, then stops smiling and stares to the side with a detached gaze.

… …Ah. I just noticed. In the end, it's not really my story, is it?

toa seems to not like this alter very much. i also don't think the toa talking here is the same as toa, as their manners of speaking are different, so that's why the text isn't green. i'll go into this if i make my "toa in the memories isn't the same as prisoner toa" propaganda post.

why do i think the toa in the unknown memory reports is toa?

first of all, it's only logical- they supposedly switched during the intermission, and that's when the unknown memories came out- but also because they have a similar, formal matter-of-fact way of speaking, and seem to have similar attitudes, that being direct, confident and disconnected from whatever toasys is going through. but again, this man has 6 lines of dialogue so i can't say that i'm an expert on his personality.

however, i don't think he is the alter who butts in during the t1 memory report, because

Please don't cry I'll stay with you

No matter how hard he tries to keep the focus on the one he's talking to, he's staring somewhere away, how disgraceful; no need to feel sorry for a person like this. Would you care about excuses if you were ignored?

I care It's not your fault I'll be here 

Not enough time and energy to spend on you, you're not enough— Kindness scratching on the surface leaves you with no more than scratches.

the way they talk about whoever is fronting in the memories is very different.

[bioethicists]

hii! i saw your tags on the post about calculus and im really curious what you meant about calculus helping you better understand what it means to be a person, if you feel like elaborating!!

lmaooo ty for enabling me but please forgive me in advance this is by far my most meta theory + it's definitely a drug fueled one

basically, one of the foundational aspects of my view of the world + knowledge production (this is p standard anthropologist shit, to be clear, not something unique to me) is that our understanding of the 'real' is culturally constructed + the boundaries which separate one thing from another are illusions, not unquestionable facts. this isn't some insidious, horrible project we need to abandon- it's often necessary in order to communicate + function. for example, a hand- people designated what constitutes a hand because they had to in order to communicate effectively + accomplish important functions like healing, creating clothing, etc. (you can see how this becomes standard anthropology shit bcuz anthropologists look at how different groups of people construct these "truths" differently, entirely uninterested in the project of deciding which groups of people are "right")

but 1) "hands" as we understand them- the borders we draw around what is + is not one, for instance- are products of collective cultural understanding. the concept of the 'hand' does not exist as separate from the arm or more broad than the fingers until we designate it as such. 2) the "hand" is fundamentally inseparable from the arm, which is inseparable from the body, which is inseparable from the world etc. everything is a part of everything else + we are choosing to refer to it in isolation out of utility, not because it can truly be separated from everything else. obviously a hand is 'real' in that it impacts the world around us, but the idea of what it is has been created + now the fact that this idea was created (not obvious or innate) is forgotten, ignored, or obscured.

this might seem kind of obvious/pedantic because i picked a deliberately easy example (i think nietzsche used the example of a flower, which now that i think about it might have been a better choice on my part), but a lot of harm in science + the greater world is caused by the deliberate or unintentional ignoring that everything, even 'scientific fact', is produced via these pretend separations. this doesn't mean that the separations don't produce meaningful, useful things! it just means acknowledging that those things are a product of specific cultural understandings + relationships + not unquestionably superior or definitively settled. lefty ppl may be familiar with viewing some things through this lens, like race, gender, class, the state, but most ppl hold a belief that some things are Real + culture's influence on these things is supplementary + not defining of our understandings of what those things are.

euclid writes in "the elements", probably the most influential geometry text of all time, "a point is that which has no part". a point is meaningless until it comes into contact with other points. the paradox of geometry becomes, how does a constellation of nothingness (points) become something? how do we come to understand that something as having an identity + properties all its own, distinctive from other somethings? when euclid is writing this, he is absolutely reveling in this, as math was once a deeply philosophical pursuit intrinsically tied to metaphysics. calculus illustrates this particularly poignantly because calculus primarily deals in derivatives.

a derivative takes a series of points + turns them into one point (which can then be combined with other points + turned into another point again, ad infinitum). take a speeding car- "velocity" (you can just think of this as speed) is the first derivative of the position of an object with respect to time. it is a single point (60 mph, for example) which encapsulates a bunch of different points- the position of the car at 1sec, 2 sec, 3 sec, 4 sec etc. obviously, creating this point can be extremely useful, but all this number represents is a collection of observations or "points"- it is a 'real' thing which is comprised of a bunch of other 'real' things but it only holds meaning in the way that it captures the relationship between things. a derivative takes movement + renders it static, but its very identity as a derivative prevents us from looking away from the fact that it is a manufactured stasis + that underneath/within the derivative, a great deal of movement/change is occurring. the thousands of instances which created that derivative are not hidden by the derivative, they constitute it.

so, on a philosophical level, i see calculus as this act of moving between unstable, constructed relationships between things, treating them as still objects as far as that is necessary or useful, but never forgetting what lies beneath them. this goes hand in hand with my fondness for dialectics in knowledge production (please note that a lot of Hegelian scholars would vehemently disagree with me on this), actor-network theory, rhizomes/striation. it underlies my theological views, my academic work, my relationship to my body (rejection of cartesian dualism), my views on the spiritual/paranormal, basically everything in my life. everything is in constant relationship with everything else + only exists as far as it is defined by these relationships (which is a delightful paradox; that which has no part only becomes real through interfacing with other things which have no part) + naming these relations is identifying a temporary/narrow snapshot, not identifying or even creating a "truth". science/academic knowledge's insistence on maintaining a monopoly on the "real" (where science is a linear march towards increasing Truth + eventually we will "know" everything, towards the secular + modernity) is deeply destructive. looking at knowledge production/metaphysics as a practice of calculus allows me to move through the world understanding that everything is constructed without losing the ability to act or formulate thought + to generate academic work with this in mind.

[grimrester]

i lied! i did big fibs, i have more to say about the watcher situation after all. some assorted thoughts:

1. i'm a little surprised at just how big the rift is in the fandom post-apology. if i go into the tag, it literally alternates between "you guys are twisted sickos for bullying them into walking back the new platform" and "you guys are major chumps for accepting the apology and my trust is permanently damaged." this is a fandom that previously seemed pretty monolithic to me as an outsider, so i wonder if this will have long term implications for the sustainability of their fandom.

2. they said there'd be a "free subscription" to the platform for patreon supporters. makes sense, since their patreon tiers are mostly more expensive than the watchertv sub. this was presented as an indefinite sub dependent on continuing to pay their patreon, but patrons are receiving emails saying the sub is actually only for 3 free months. i'm like 90% sure this is the same kind of situation where they encouraged password sharing even though the platform doesn't enable it. they once again just seem to not fucking know what the vimeo ott platform they're using is capable of doing. they have to stop making statements like this until they get a better understanding of it because it's continuing to make them look bad.

3. there are multiple reports on reddit that at least ryan and sara (shane's spouse) are deleting comments on their instagram. look, i get it, some of the things people are saying are downright vile. the pointed targeting of steven and the borderline fanfic-writing quality of some of the theories about what went down interpersonally on the team during this decision is fucking weird at best and racist/invasive at worst. furthermore, i dont think making comments on personal instagrams is a good way to be heard. but on the other hand, controlling what people say on your platform right after you made a "we hear you" statement is really bad optics. obviously i think they have a right to delete anything that's outright bigoted, but it seems like they're deleting anything decidedly negative.

4. some of the comments getting deleted are about potential "fake" or "plant" patrons trying to skew the narrative positively on the watcher patreon. i frankly think this is unfounded conspiracy shit until i see substantial proof, but deleting these comments in particular without responding can cause some straight up streisand effect. this can really quickly start snowballing if they make it look like they don't want anyone talking about it. overall i just don't know if they understand just how much they're under the microscope right now. i didn't have to search very much to dig this stuff up - people are watching and documenting them. i think the variety article revealing they did initially intend to remove their backlog and them trying to pretend they didn't walk that back has caused a lot of people to hyper-inspect their every move. they're already in the youtube drama content cycle, and they risk someone making a blowout exposé if they aren't careful.

[margowritesthings]

MARGO'S 1K CELEBRATION I - TROPE BINGO

Y'ALL. I can't believe this. 1,000 is such a mind boggling number to me, considering these weird word children would otherwise just be sitting in my brain on their own. I can't thank you enough for your support over the last year. this blog is one of the best things that has happened to be, and now that i'm pursuing my dream of becoming a published writer i truly believe it has changed the course of my life. YOU have changed my life. thank you for being there to read and support. i love y'all.

soooo reading and writing romance is basically my only prsonality trait, so why not celebrate 1k followers with the thing that got me here! im putting you guys as the star role in your own romance- follow along the steps below and send me an ask with your trope and character selection + any extra info.

STEP 1 - PICK A TROPE (please pick up to 3 tropes!)

➼ friends to lovers ➼ enemies to lovers ➼ s/he falls first ➼ one night stand ➼ grumpy x sunshine ➼ small town ➼ billionaire ➼ mafia ➼ forced proximity ➼ marriage of convenience ➼ fake dating ➼ second chance ➼ one bed ➼ childhood sweethearts ➼ surprise pregnancy ➼ why choose? (send up to 3 characters for a reverse harem ship) ➼ random!- i will use a generator ➼ writer's choice- i will choose based on your profile (mutuals only)

STEP 2 - PICK A SHIP there are 3 ways to get your ship:

➼choose a fandom (or multiple fandoms) from the below list and I will choose for you (the more info about yourself you provide the better this choice will be) ➼choose a specific character from the fandoms in the list (or multiple and I will choose) ➼(mutuals only) tell me your fandoms and I will choose for you based on your profile/what i know about you/what you provide me with (even if the fandom ISNT on the list below)

FANDOMS PARTICIPATING IN THIS CELEBRATION: ➼ red dead redemption ➼ bridgerton ➼ marvel ➼ starfield ➼ fallout ➼ skyrim ➼ stardust ➼ star wars ➼ doctor who ➼ daisy jones and the six ➼ mad men

STEP 3 - EXTRA INFO

IMPORTANT- INCLUDE YOUR GENDER AND SEXUAL ORIENTATION IF LETTING ME CHOOSE THE SHIP. Add anything about yourself you want me to know. If you're on anon, this is very important!! I cannot make anything personalised for you if I do not know anything about you. Any icks, anything you want me to include, turn ons, etc. Basically provide me with anything you think might help me make the best gift for you!

RULES

➼ Followers only please, I cannot police this as I have asking on anon enabled, but this is a celebration for my followers so if you are gonna enter please do ensure you are following me

➼ Likes and reblogs are really appreciated! if you do enjoy my work you can also check out my masterlists which can be found here or buy me a coffee here!

➼ At the least, I will be able to make a moodboard for your ship + tropes, but if the inspiration strikes me I will write headcanons and drabbles too. These are a bonus and should not be expected with every entry

➼ 18+ - some of these tropes will include explicit detail, so 18+ only please

➼ Please grant me patience! i am doing this alongside a full time job and have some personal stuff on, but i do want to celebrate so im trying to fit this in as best i can. please be kind and respectful of my lil internet space :)

➼ all posts will be tagged #margo's 1k celebration

tagging my frens to say THANK YOU cause i couldn't do it without ya <3: @inkandbloodbound @cowboydisaster @musicallisto @saradika @sickvictorianangel @alottanothing @twola @photo1030

[vibratingskull]

Yandere!Thrawn A.U x f!reader chapter 5

Part 1, 2, 3, 4

tag : Yandere behaviors (duh), dub-con, hate sex, protected p in v

You come back on the Chimaera with the assurance by Thrawn that everything was being taken care of. “I arranged everything, you will get your new papers at your apartment.” he promised. That means after the presente campaign, so in several months… The wait will be long.

On his side he definitely works to have you before the end of that campaign.

You went your separate ways, him commending and you obeying. The daily grind installed and while your little escapade with Thrawn was nice while it lasted, the reality of the hierarchy imposes itself to you both. You only see him on the bridge to get his orders and steer the Chimaera. You exchange smiles but nothing much.

You only catch a glimpse of him when you bring him the datacards each evening. You see him frowning on his datapad, deeply focused. He even stopped teaching you his way with art, “I am sorry, I am not a great mentor.” he sighs, “It’s okay, we are both busy. You even more than me” you temper, he shakes his head “I am not up to the expectations I setted for myself, and that is a first for me.” You smile comfortingly to him “You’re a great mentor. Just a busy one”

But that doesn’t please him. All those hours he could have had with you… Definitely lost to the void. But he didn’t have a choice: the Emperor ordered to meet him, and with that all the threats and presents it comes with. And all the stress… He inherited a new campaign from a former incompetent Grand Admiral, that means new battlefields, new enemies, new tactics, everything restarting from 0 and takes him so much time.

He doesn’t show it but he awaits the evening with a beating heart, to finally see your face and hear your voice even for a fleeting instant.

You, you await the evening because being with him cheers your spirit, it makes you forget the death of your lover. Your nights are long and sleepless with you tossing and turning in your bed, to no avail. The true hard reality of your loss imposes itself to you without mercy.

One day while you're eating in the cantina of the Chimaera mind drifting away in memories of your lover, a woman comes sitting in front of you “Mind if I sit with you?” she asks. “No probem.” You raise your head to realize it is the Captain of the ship, a beautiful, competent woman you look up to. “Ma’am!” You salute her. “Don’t ma’am me when it’s time to eat, I hate that.” she snarls, “Oh… okay.” curious, usually higher officers hold on to the respect given by their title like bugs to honey.

“So…” She starts “Tell me, between you and me, between women. You and Thrawn? How is it going?” You blink, stop mid-movement of taking a bite. “What do you mean?” You inquire, a bit lost. “Well, you are close with each other, no? You have been seen leaving a hotel together on Coruscant after all. I was just wondering…” Oh no! You hope being seen with a lowly Lieutenant Commander won’t undermine his reputation! “No… No! We are friends, nothing of the sort, just friends….” you temper.

“So you won’t mind if I tempt my luck with him, then?” she hits you with. You remain stunned for a second. Mind? Tempting luck with him? “Why?”, “Are you blind? He's sexy as hell. He looks good enough to eat.” She says biting down her meat. Thrawn? Sexy? You never saw him in this light… Maybe it’s friendship blinding you. “No, I meant why do you ask for my permission?”, “Because you’re the closest person he gots and there's rumors about you two being together.” You mentally scoff at that. Him and you? A Grand Admiral and a Lieutenant Commander, this only happens in the holos! But you never saw him as a potential partner, maybe…

No, you’re having too much difficulties picturing it

“So are you gonna cause me some problems?” she insists. “No. Do what you want.” you enable her. She nods, satisfied. “In fact, could you lend me a hand with him?”

You take a mental step back, helping her? That is Thrawn's private life, you should not play with and interfere. That would be improper and he’s your friend. You should not play cupid. “Hum… I don’t know. He likes his privacy and-”

 “I know you have difficulty rising through ranks, I could help you in return…” she proposes

“Enter.” says the stormtrooper in front of Thrawn’s office, you pass the doors to find him deeply focused on his datapad once again. “It’s me” you softly says, he immediately raises his head and stands up, alarmed “Is there a problem?” he invastigates. You shake your head with a smile “No, I just came to see how you are doing. You look tense!” he relaxes a bit, with a thin grin “Is it that visible?”, “No, but I’m starting to know you, Grand Admiral!” you tease. 

You take your time to observe him, it’s true he’s handsome, you realize. With harmonious and delicate features, his face is really pretty to look at and his smooth and deep voice doesn’t spoil anything. How could you miss that? 

“I am investigating the Nebula project.” he explains sitting back down, his voice is as steady and assured as ever but you notice a touch of lassitude. You don’t know much about this project, you’re not high enough for that, you just know it monopolizes fundings profitable to Thrawn’s TIE defender project and he’s fighting tooth and nail for getting them back. This and the recent meeting with the Emperor and the newly added campaign to the ones he already has must start to take a toll on him…

You slide behind him and start massaging his shoulders, it is highly inappropriate, but you hope he understood you came as his friend and not his subordinate. He doesn’t stop you. You find knots in his muscles and work to make them disappear. He rolls his shoulder and neck to make the tension disappear. “You really are tense!” you exclaim “Do you want help with that?”, “You are already helping.” he simply says. “I thought about something more… potent.” you try. “What are you suggesting?” he turns his head to look at you from the corner of his eyes, “Something tremendously fun and… inappropriate.” you smile deviously, trying to communicate to him some enthusiasm. He raises an eyebrow “Inappropriate?” he says cautiously “You peak my curiosity.” his tone remains casual, but you see his attention in his eyes. “Maybe not inappropriate but unconventional, for sure.” you correct, you’re nearly certain fraternization among the hierarchy is highly unheard of considering how uptight it is, “I know you like unconventional.” He takes your hand in his and squeezes it gently “Indeed, I do. You do know me well. What could I hope for during this unconventional time?”, “How about an explosion of sensations, a thrill rarely felt, the highest of pleasure” You make it sound as enticing as you can, you’re supposed to blow her trumpet to him while preserving her identity a secret, less easy than first anticipated. He squeezes your hand harder “Why wait, when we could do it now?” he whispers with a voice full of intentions and eyes devouring you. You gently smile and tap his shoulder comfortingly “Because you’re a busy Grand Admiral.” You escape his grasp and it seems to you he tries to hold you back for a sec before letting you go, but can’t be sure. You head to the door and turn towards him “Work well and tonight you will receive your reward, it will be a nice surprise.” you wink at him and exit his office. 

Your job is done, now it’s up to those two. You’re surprised Thrawn was down for it, to be honest, he’s more relaxed and laid back than you first thought. You hope he will have fun!

Evening couldn’t come quick enough! The hours flow by agonizingly slow, Thrawn can’t wait a minute more!

Him who felt devastated to not be able to give you enough of his time, you came by yourself with promises of delicacies and wonders greater than his wildest dreams. He accomplished his tasks with a renewed energy, with new, fresh eyes. This report on the Nebula project suddenly doesn't look like a pain in his back but a new simple obstacle he will overstep over like every other obstacle until now. He feels invincible, infallible, more daring than usual. 

He let warm water trickle down his body, mind flooded with images of you, how your magic fingers helped him relax, how you teased him, how you escaped him with a playful wink full of promises, how you edged him for the whole day… He licks his lips.

He steps out of the fresher, brushes his teeth with your toothbrush, comb his hair and puts on some cologne. He passes on a fresh, clean uniform and heads to his suite to check everything is in order, everything has been thoroughly cleaned by the droids, he put on some of your favorite smooth band and reserved a bottle of champagne in ice, he ordered some petit-fours (he knows your a gourmand after all) and his sheets have been changed to clean, silky new ones.

You’re the only one missing now!

He smiles to himself, he planned a complete battle tactic to conquer you, but looks like he won’t need it. He still wonders to what he owes that turnaround, but he’s not complaining, not at all. He clasps his hands behind his back as he looks at an art piece in his living room, awaiting for you eagerly.

Tonight is the night! Tonight you will be his, and he will be yours. Finally one, like it must be, like it always must have been. He will hold you tight and show you what true devotion and loyalty feels like.

He will ruin you for any other man, remove your desire to see other people. And you will stay together, always attached by the hips, never leaving the other even for a moment. You will witness his victories with a ringside seat and congratulate and reward him as only you can do. He will treat you like a goddess, devoting himself to you everyday, tirelessly. It will be a dream, a-

The door shushes open, his smile grows larger. Finally, the most exquisite evening can start, his thirst will be quenched and his hunger and pain will… hold on a second… That is not your step pattern. Who…

“Well, well, well! I didn’t ask for that much!” He hears his Captain's voice, he didn’t shudder but it was close “You know how to do it with women, Grand admiral.” He, oh so slowly, turns towards her, like a predator on the hunt.

He sees her with a big smile, holding the champagne bottle. “You really went all in! I appreciate the attention.” she says seductively, putting down the bottle and stepping towards him. She opens her jacket to reveal she doesn’t have anything under it and presses herself against him, hugging him tight. He doesn’t respond

In fact he feels incredibly revolted. Why is she here?! Where are you?! What’s the meaning of this?! If this is a joke, the culprit will have it coming!

“I dreamed of this moment so many times…” She sighs satisfied. He takes her hands and detaches them from him, “I am sorry, I was under the impression I would receive someone else.” he politely turns her away. She raises her head to him with round eyes “Wha… but…” He smiles contrily and puts her jacket on her shoulders, hiding her modestly. 

She takes a step back like he slapped her, shocked. “Who… Wait HER?!”, he doesn’t react, doesn’t confirm or deny anything, but she’s intelligent enough to put two and two together, she’s not his Captain for nothing. “This goose!?” she shouts “She can’t even rise through ranks properly!”, “You may leave.” he calmly informs, not in the mood to endure her whim. “I’ve never been so humiliated!” she spits, he doesn’t add salt to the wound but being bare chest in front of a superior who just rejected you must be pretty humiliating, he admits it. “But her?! This… idiot?!” his nose flares, he let the first insult fly in honor of her competency but now she’s slipping into dangerous territories. “I said : you may leave…” he reiterates coldly. She doesn’t take the hint, too lost in her own drama “Wait! She’s not here but I am and you definitively hoped for something tonight, this can still happen.”, “I do not think so.” He grasps her arm and pulls her towards the door “Now, leave.”, “Wait!” She tries again “If you don’t do it I…I ‘ll complain you raped me!” He stops dead in his tracks and turns towards her, with an icy cold glare “I’m serious, and you could say bye to you TIE defender project…” she threatens. He gauges her, his first instinct tells him to bash her head on the corner of the tea table, but she must have gossiped about it to some friends that know where and with whom she is… He’s not good with politics but it is easy to imagine the consequences of such accusations. He holds the bridge of his nose, oh the headache he feels coming… He calculates in his mind rapidly, and comes to the conclusion that if he wants to be left in peace and keep her talents for him he will need to abide by her vagary…

He digs his nails in her flesh and delects himself in her yelp of pain “Alright, but we are doing this on my terms.” He threatens. He pulls her over to his chamber and throws her on his bed carelessly, she lends with a “oof”, he opens his drawers and takes something before entering the bed. As she turns to him, he’s already on her, he pushes her down to the mattress. “First of all,” he takes her hands and forces them up and shackles them “Do not touch me.” He places himself between her legs and rips open her pants, she cries indignant but that is her problem to deal with. “Second…” He opens his trousers much more carefully and frees his cock, he fists it to give it vigor because the Warrior knows this scene isn’t exciting to him. “I like my women quiet. Silence,” he swiftly put on a condom, because there just no way he would fuck her raw, he opens her legs wider and enters her without warning nor preparation. She gasps at the sudden sensations of fullness. He wondered if the lubricant on the condom would suffice but she’s pretty wet.

Deviant…

He installs a brutal and merciless pace and rubs her clit for maximum pleasure. He bites the inside of his cheek, not only does he have to do that, he also has to be sure she’s satisfied to ensure her good behavior… In what mess did you put him? She gasps and moans at each thrust, enjoying herself, getting what she wanted. 

“Ah… Slower… You’re hurting me…” she manages to say between whimpers of pleasure, “No.” He coldly responds “You wanted me, you have me. Now, bear the consequence of your choices.” 

He deploys everything his former partners taught him to push her to completion. He shudders at her moans that sound like strangled pig screams to his ears, this is really disgusting. Your moan and mewls would be so much more elegant and exciting, nothing like … whatever this is. 

The mechanic act of thrusting brings him some pleasure and he’s terribly ashamed and angry at his body response. How could he, him who knows the higher pleasures you can provide, settle for any less, especially with a common baseless woman? Intolerable!

At some point he gets enough of her pig squeals and grasps her throat, pressing it between his powerful hand “I said…” he hisses “Silence.” 

Her odor starts invading his nose so he holds his breath and accelerates his ministrations. When he feels her close he finishes her with some powerful thrust, denying himself orgasm. She doesn’t deserve it.

He swiftly slips out of her and dresses back as quickly, he will need another shower to wash her off of him he sighs. He leans over her and unshackles her, and seizes her jaw “Now, Get.Out.” he puts all of his experience in his words to ensure a future good conduct. Her blissful smile disappears for a terrified expression, she nods silently and runs through the door. His nose flares, his whole room smells like her and sex, not to his liking.

But first a conversation with you.

You’re reading a holobook when your heart knocks at your door, “Coming!” you say, dressing up to appear presentable. You open your door to a Thrawn with wet hair, clearly out of the fresher. You’re about to greet him joyfully when you feel the cold blizzard emanating from him. Your smile dies instantly, “Is… Is there a problem?”, “Can I enter, please?” he asks politely, but something in his very calm demeanor sends a shiver down your spine. You step to the side, letting him in. Your room always seems so small with him inside… 

“With all the respect I owe you.” he starts, making you jump “ What did you think about?” he doesn’t even raise his voice, but it shocks you to your core, your instinct telling you to be on the lookout. “I… Something went wrong?”, “Yes, something definitely did. But that is not why I am here, I am here to know what train of thought led us to it. So?” You gulp, he’s really mad but remains placid “I… I’m sorry, I just wanted you to have some fun with someone you trusted. You seemed down for it, I… I don’t kno-’”

“I was only down because-” He stops before saying too much. Because I thought it was you, but he won’t admit it now! “Why did she come to you in the first place?”, “She needed help to approach you… I thought you could have fun times with someone you trusted” you repeat with a small voice, slowly taking a step back. He can’t believe it! “That is it?” he calmly investigates, “You wanna sit?” you propose desperately “We could talk over a cup of caff, we could-”, “That is it?” he repeats slowly backing you against the wall, towering over you with all his height. “She… implied that she could help me rise through rank, that she-”

You’re suddenly being pushed against the wall, your wrists are being seized and immobilized. You cry of surprise and fear. He hisses at your face, baring his teeth to you, his long prominent canines glowing in the dull light of your room. You open your eyes wide, holding your breath.

He can’t believe what he hears! That's it?! You sold him for a fleeting promise?! For words throwing out like that?! He always loved your naivete and innocence, but tonight it had real consequences, real price he had to pay with his flesh. Your greed had grave repercussions. He observes you cowering under his gaze, delighting himself in your reaction. That is more what he likes, you fearing him and the power he holds over you. How could you throw him under the bus like that? It is time you realize who your master is.

“Please… Thrawn… You’re scaring me…” you whine, holding your breath in utter fear. You feel his powerful hands could crush your wrists in a million pieces if he just wanted to. You lower your head, you can’t meet his burning gaze. “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…” you gasp.

He recovers his calm and gauges you up and down, judging if you learned your lesson. He releases you and clasps his hands behind his back “Thank you for your clarifications. Good night, Lieutenant Commander.” he simply says and exits your room without hurrying himself. You slide against the wall to the ground, sobbing and massaging your wrists, shocked.

He goes back to his suite, mind bubbling with activity. Looks like another night he won’t sleep through, better get to work. He conserves a thought for you, searching for the best way to make you pay for your treacherous actions.

@bluechiss @blueninjablade3 @al-astakbar @thrawnspetgoose @readinglistfics @twilekchiss

[mychemicalimagines]

Everything Changed-Embry Call-Chapter 8

Summary: A couple months before her junior year in high school finishes, something happened to the once normal Hayley Uley. Myth turns into reality. Not just for her, but for her older brother, Sam, as well. They have to drop everything they once knew for something they thought was only in bed time stories. Will things finally start looking up for once after this ‘blessing-in-disguise’?

Warnings: Cussing, Paranormal, Supernatural, Angst, Love, Bella-Bashing, Possible Smut (Please read Authors Note in Chapter 1 for Age Explanation)

Words: 5,738

A/N: Here is another chapter! I hope you enjoy! To Be Tagged: Message Me, Submit an Ask, Comment or Tag Yourself in My Bio!!

Third Person POV

Later that night, besides Jake, everyone is eating the food the girls made, sitting around a growing fire that Sam started an hour or so beforehand. Billy sits in his wheelchair with the forest to his back, starting the large circle. Old Quil sits on one side of him while Sue sits on the other side. The eldest three council leaders.

When Harry passed away, Sue joined the council, keeping the Clearwater name in the leading circle. Beside Old Quil is his grandson and the newest, fellow pack member, Quil. Jared, Kim and Paul sitting next to him, almost rough housing as usual, the female just laughing along. Beside Paul is Emily leaning against Sam, slightly cuddling. 

Hayley and Embry are next, with the female allowing her boyfriend to eat off her plate.They saved a spot for Jake, knowing that Bella would be showing up with him. Closing up the circle next to his mother is Seth, who is practically bouncing in his seat with all the excitement building in his stomach. 

They hear a car pull into the parking lot of the beach before Bella’s voice is heard to all the shifters.

“You sure this is okay?” She asks. “I really hate being a party crasher.”

“Technically, you’re a council meeting crasher.” Jake chuckles, trying to ease her anxiety a little. “See. The council leaders, Sam, Dad, Quil’s grandpa and Sue Clearwater. She took over for Harry when he died.”

“Okay, I should not be here.” She says, turning slightly but Jake stops her. 

“You’re okay. We…they thought it would be good for you to hear the histories.” He corrects himself. 

“The histories?” Her eyes widen. “The tribe's histories? Aren’t they secret?”

“We all got a role to play. And you’re a part of this. I mean, it’s the first time Seth and Quil are hearing them, too. But you’re the first outsider. Ever.”

“If I had known that, I wouldn’t believe you.” She looks up at him. “And would’ve dressed better.” 

“Jake!” They hear, causing them to face forward. 

Seth runs up toward them, almost like a puppy, a large smile on his face. 

“Hey, it’s about time you got here! Paul’s been hovering the grub. But, I saved you some burgers!” He continues.

“Good looking out, bro.” Jake smiles before looking at the female next to him. “Bella, this is Seth Clearwater, Sue’s son. One of the newest members of the pack.”

“Newest, bestest, brightest.” He grins.

“And slowest!”

Jake grabs the young boy in a headlock, both tumbling to the sand, laughing. Hayley smiles to herself, happy to see Seth being a kid, despite all the future pressure he’ll, no doubt, have on his shoulders. Sam whistles loudly, stopping the two shifters, knowing Billy wants to start. 

“Come on.” Seth grins. “Your dad’s about to start.”

The trio walk over to the fire, sitting down in their respective spots with Bella next to Seth. Billy looks around, mentally counting to make sure everyone is there before he begins. Everyone’s attention wholly on him, his voice commanding.

“The Quileutes have been a small tribe from the beginning but we’ve always had magic in our blood. We were great spirit warriors, shape shifters, that transform into the powerful wolf. This enabled us to scare off our enemies and protect our tribe. One day, our warriors came across a creature…” He says, looking around at everyone. 

To Bella, it’s as if the story was playing in the fire in the middle of the pack. She can picture every word he’s saying as if it were a movie playing right in front of her. 

“It looked like a man, but it was hard like stone, and cold as ice…Our warriors’ sharp teeth finally tore it apart but only fire would completely destroy it. They lived in fear, the Cold Man was not alone…And they were right. She took her vengeance out on the village. Our elder chief, Taha Aki, was the only spirit warrior left to save the tribe after his son was killed. Taha Aki’s Third Wife could see that he would lose. The Third Wife was no magical being, no special powers…but one. Courage.” He says, looking in the direction of each of the three imprinted couples.

The pack knew exactly who the Third Wife was. She was Taha Aki’s imprint. That’s what makes her so special, besides the lesson he is currently giving. Embry kisses his own imprint’s head before she nuzzles her face into his neck.

“The Third Wife’s sacrifice distracted the Cold Woman, long enough for Taha Aki to destroy her. She saved the tribe. Over time, our enemies have disappeared. But one remains…The Cold Ones. Our magic awakens when they near. And we sense it now, we feel the threat in our blood. Something terrible is coming. And we must all be ready. All of us.” Billy finishes, glancing toward Bella.

She has slight guilt in her stomach after hearing the story. Knowing that packs ancestors were killed by Cold Ones when she wants to be one herself. She knows this hasn’t changed her mind but it does give her some insight into her best friend’s history.

Another week has passed with no signs of the red-head or the random vampire that Jake and Hayley smelled in Bella’s bedroom. When the wolves and vampires have to switch out for their patrol outside her outside, there is no talking until the others have left. They have a truce but it is so tense, they swear they can cut it with a knife. 

That is what happened earlier when Hayley and Paul switched with Emmett and Alice. The two vampires stared at them before rushing toward their home. Emmett’s lucky that the truce was in place as well as Sam’s words of ‘wait till their feet touch the grass’. Hayley rolls her eyes and walks in her wolf form toward the front of Bella’s house. 

Her head snaps up when she hears the wheels screeching of Edward’s Volvo. She raises an eyebrow as the vampire rushes out of his vehicle straight toward Jake’s rabbit as he pulls in. Bella exits the car, holding her hand close to her body as if she hurt herself. 

“Not here, Edward. Please.” She begs her boyfriend. 

“If you ever touch her against her will again.” Edward snarls at her pack member. 

Hayley immediately phases back into her human form before getting dressed. What the fuck happened?

“Don’t do this!” Bella continues, trying to put herself between them. 

“She’s not sure what she wants.” Jake growls at the leech.

“Well, let me give you a clue.” Edward snaps at him. 

“Wait for her to say the words.”

Hayley rushes from the trees, gently moving Bella from between them. The human sighs in relief at the sight of the Beta.

“Shut the fuck up, both of you.” She growls, pushing between them. 

“Fine. And she will!” Edward glares, ignoring the female shifter.

She pushes them apart, deja-vu hitting her hard. “Just shut up! What happened?”

Jacob finally looks away from the leech as he licks his bottom lip. 

“I kissed Bella…And she broke her hand…punching my face.”

“What the fuck, Jake?” Hayley snaps, her voice rising slightly. “You know she’s in a relationship with this asshole. You can’t do that!”

“I wanted to prove…”

“I don’t care what you wanted to do! You don’t do shit like that!” She pushes his chest again. “Get your ass in your car and go to my house. Tell Sam what you did. He’ll deal with your punishment.”

“Hayley…”

“No, Jacob. Go, now!” She growls, glaring at him. 

He shakes his head before turning around, stomping toward his car. No one says anything as he speeds away from the house. Edward finally speaks up when the car is away from view. Despite her calling him an asshole, he’s glad she was there.

“Thank you, Hayley.”

She rolls her eyes and turns toward Bella. She doesn’t like the girl, but she didn’t deserve that.

“Are you okay?”

“My hand hurts pretty bad.” She admits.

“You did punch a wolf in the face. We’re practically indestructible.” She shakes her head, glancing up at Edward. “Take her back to your house.” She looks back at Bella. “I’ll inform Charlie you broke your hand on the rez.”

“Thanks.” She whispers, following her boyfriend to his precious Volvo.

“I need to start getting paid.” Hayley mumbles to herself as she walks up to Bella’s front door. “It’s like babysitting a bunch of sparkly and fevered toddlers.”

“Now, welcome to the stage, La Push High’s 2006 Class Salutatorian, Hayley Uley!” The Principal says before stepping back from the microphone. 

The entire gym erupts in applause with the pack, including Jared and Paul who are sitting in their own cap and gowns, being the loudest. Hayley blushes slightly as she walks up to the microphone, her speech in hand. Glancing around the audience, her eyes land on her boyfriend, who is smiling widely, proud of his imprint.

She is always going above and beyond for their tribe. Losing sleep so she can go on patrol and so she can finish her mountains of homework. This woman is the definition of a hard-worker. Embry puts his pinkies in his mouth and whistles loudly, causing her to bite her lip slightly. As the cheers slow down, her eyes meet her brother’s who is beaming with pride. 

He is so proud of his little sister. With everything that has happened in the last year, she stepped up and took her role as Beta seriously as well as made sure her grades were immaculate. She didn’t let their mom leaving them impede her studies and responsibilities. If anything, it made her stronger, more determined, and so full of perseverance, that Sam can’t help but be immensely proud of her.

Hayley fixes the microphone to her height before looking down at the speech she had written the night before.

“When we were five, they asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up. Our answers were things like astronaut, president or in my case, the Queen I know I am.” She grins as the auditorium is filled with laughter for a moment. “When we were ten, they asked again and we answered - rock star, cowboy, or in my case - a vet. But now that we’ve grown up, they want a serious answer. Well, how about this: who the hell knows?” 

Loud hoots and hollers from her classmates, Paul being the loudest. 

“This isn’t the time to make hard and fast decisions, it’s the time to do what we want. Find ourselves. Take the wrong train, and get stuck somewhere. Fall in love…” She glances toward Embry who is grinning at her words. “Some of us may go on to college right away, or get our own places, and start our lives. Some of us may continue to live at home - for whatever reason - and annoy the hell out of our parents - or, my older brother, in my case, just as we’ve done for the last 17-18 years. But, at the end of the day. No matter what we do, where we go, it’ll be at our own paces, and what’s best for us in that moment of time. Change your mind. Then change it again, because there’s only two things that’s permanent. That’s family and the friends you met along the way. So make as many mistakes as you can. That way, someday, when they ask again what we want to be…we won’t have to guess. We’ll know.”

The entire gym erupts in applause once again as her words sink into every single person there, not just her graduating classmates. She grabs her piece of paper and folds it as she walks down to her seat, putting it in her dress pocket. They all listen to the Principal make the same exact speech he’s been making since he started working at the school.

When it’s time for the students to get their diploma, Hayley is one of the first people in line, due to her class title. 

“Hayley Uley.” The Principal repeats, turning slightly to put his hand out.

She takes a few steps toward him and shakes his hand, grabbing the diploma case from his other hand as her brother and Embry, as well as the rest of the pack including the two graduating, stand up and cheer the loudest out of everyone there. 

“That’s my little sister!” “My girlfriend did it! Hell yeah!” “Wooo! Go, Hayley!”

She blushes and walks past the Principal to leave the stage, glancing at the pack as she does. Her heart drops slightly when she sees Billy clapping happily for his Beta…without his son next to him. About ten minutes later, Jared’s name is called, causing Hayley to stand up and whistle about as loud, if not louder than he had for her just minutes earlier. 

He grins and accepts his diploma case in the same manner before throwing up the rock-star sign, causing his friends to laugh. Since Paul’s last name began with L, it takes a little longer to get to him but everyone in the pack cheers as if it’s been five seconds. His classmates were surprised he was able to graduate but not the pack.

With Hayley being there, she was always helping him with his homework and studying, this included when they were on patrol. She quizzed him more often than not, making sure he would be able to walk the stage. He’s thankful for her. Because of her, he proved his father wrong and proved he was able to do it.

Over an hour later, after the tassels have been moved and the caps have been thrown, Hayley rushes toward her brother, squealing as she moves.

“I fuckin’ did it!” She practically screams, jumping into his arms. 

Sam catches her, holding her close to him. “I’m so proud of you, Hay.”

“You’re the one person I want to thank, Sam. Without you, I wouldn’t be here.” She whispers, hugging him tightly. 

“I didn’t do anything. All I did was…” She cuts off her brother by leaning back and looking at him.

“You believed in me from day one. That’s what you did.” She says, tearing up slightly. “Even when mom gave up on me, on us, you never did. Not even for one second.”

Her words cause her brother to tear up a little himself, as he smiles softly before kissing the top of her head.“Congratulations, Beta. You deserve this.” 

Before any more words can be spoken, her imprint walks up and wraps his arms around her waist, nuzzling her neck slightly. 

“I’m dating a high school graduate.” He whispers causing her to wipe her tears and giggle. “That’s kinda hot.”

Sam rolls his eyes but jumps when Jared and Paul almost tackle him with their own excitement. Since the whole gym is loud with families and graduates, he didn’t even hear them running toward them. Hayley turns around in her boyfriend's arms and wraps her own around his neck.

“Hot, huh?”

“Hell yeah it is.” He grins, leaning down toward her. “I really got lucky, dating an older woman. All the guys are jealous!”

She laughs slightly and leans up, pressing her own lips to his, sparks flying. He reaches up and cups her cheek, deepening it slightly. Normally the pack would step in to mess it up on purpose but Hayley deserves this. When they pull away for a breath of much needed air, Emily decides to be the one to step in, not wanting anything to happen in public.

“Alright, time for pictures!!”

Since the pack had the legends bonfire a little over a week before, Paul, Jared and Hayley all wanted to have a nice dinner for their graduation party. Just the pack and them. The only family they would ever need. The three graduates sit next to each other with Embry next to his girlfriend and Sam next to Jared, Paul and Hayley in the middle. 

Kim wasn’t able to be there due to her own family wanting to have a nice dinner as she graduated today as well. She’s gonna be stopping by in a couple of days to spend time with the pack. The pack’s laughing, having the best time of their lives…that is until Jake walks into the room. They all quiet down and look at him, slightly shocked to see he even showed up. 

Sam notices that he wasn’t sitting next to his father in the stands earlier in the night. He’s irritated with his pack member but if he would rather be at Bella’s graduation, hiding, more power to him.

“Hey guys.” He says, putting his hands into his pockets. “Congrats.”

“Thanks.” Hayley says aloud, and very sarcastically, while her two classmates nod at his words, not wanting to speak.

“I, uh, I’m sorry I didn’t go. You know…Bella was graduating too, so.” He mumbles, knowing everyone could hear him. 

“It’s alright. We had the pack.” Jared says, watching him.

“Hell, we had your dad.” Paul shrugs, grabbing another piece of the fantastic dinner Emily created for them.

Jacob nods slightly before speaking reluctantly, knowing he’s going to make someone mad today. 

“I know today is a big one but I wanted to know if Hayley, Embry and Quil were ready…”

“Ready for what?” She raises an eyebrow.

“To go to Bella’s graduation party.”

Embry and Quil growl slightly, pissed at their best friend's words. 

“The fuck, Jacob. You knew since we graduated too we wanted a nice dinner with the pack so why the hell do I have to go?” She asks, throwing her napkin down onto the table.

“Because Sam said I can’t go alone and…”

“You didn’t tell me it was today!” Sam growls. “Can’t my sister have one day without your damn leech problems?” 

“Hay,” He looks at her, begging. “I’ll make it up to you. Please. I need to apologize for what happened a few days ago.”

Hayley shakes her head, glaring at him as she tries to hold back her vibrating body. “Fuck this! Fuck you, Jake! I’m not going. I’m tired of coming second to your little puppy crush on a leech lover. If you want to apologize, you can find a way that doesn’t include me!”

The tension in the room skyrockets and Sam sighs, rubbing his eyes. 

“Fine. Because you’re such a selfish asshole.” He turns to his Beta. “Hayley, will you please go with him and tonight, you and I will watch Harry Potter all night.”

Growling softly, but nodding as she stands up. “Fine.” She looks at Jake, glaring at him. “Just know, I’m done doing anything for you. I’m only going to this cause Sam asked. Next time you need something, why don’t you ask your new leech friends. Cause I’m done.”

“But the pack?” He starts as she walks away.

“No!” She turns, pointing toward him. “No. You do not get to lecture me on the pack! You’ve put me and the pack second to you and your leech loving best friend who’s not even your imprint! If you gave a damn about the pack, you’d have been there today, Jake. You’d have supported us. You’d have chosen your pack before all this. But no. You weren’t. You haven’t. And you didn’t! So, don’t you dare start in with the ‘but the pack’ bullshit! You’re the fuckin’ wolf that cried boy!”

Jake sighs and nods softly. “Fine. But…please?”

Hayley flips him off and growls as she turns away from him to go put her shoes on. Embry shakes his head, anger filling his stomach.

“You’re such a fuckin’ dick, Jake.” He stands up, throwing his own napkin down onto the table. “She got one day this year to do whatever she wanted and you ruined it.”

“I know but…”

“No buts, Jake. The only butt here is you.” He looks at his best friend. “Since the day you phased, she’s done whatever you asked, despite her being the Beta of our pack. A role you tried to take from her. When they wanted you to sniff Bella’s room for a new leech, she was there after getting literally an hour of sleep. When you needed help on homework, she canceled one of our rare dates so you’d get a good grade. She was the one that took every shift outside of Bella’s house she could to make sure that house was safe. If you truly knew how important this day was to her, and even - just slightly - gave a shit about her, you’d have been there for her. You’d have done the one thing that you knew you should’ve, the one thing she shouldn’t even have to ask of you. But you didn’t. You showed her - and everyone else here - just how little she, and the pack, means to you. How little you actually care about her.”

The teenage boy looks down at his shoes, not knowing what to say. Paul glances up slightly.

“He’s right. I didn’t care if you showed up. Jared didn’t either but she was the one to ask you. Personally! Out of all the times you’ve let her down, this has to be the worst. It’s the only thing she’s ever asked of you, and you gave a rat’s ass about it.”

“Forget it, guys.” Hayley speaks up, her heart full of love from her friends. “If he doesn’t care, then why should I? Let’s just go get this over with so I can come back and watch Harry win the Triwizard cup with the people that do actually care.”

She grabs her truck keys and walks out the back door. Embry rushes out after her, gently curling his fingers around her wrist once he’s close enough. He gently tugs, getting her to stop and face him. Leaning up, he kisses her softly, cupping her cheek with his other hand, absentmindedly wiping the tear that falls down her cheek. 

She deepens the kiss slightly, happy she has at least one good thing in her life and that's her imprint. He’s had her back through everything since the day their eyes met in Jake’s garage. When they pull away, he looks deep into her eyes, wanting to show how much she means to him.

“I love you, Hayley.” He whispers. “Even when everyone is shitting on you, I’ll love you until the end of time.”

Another tear falls down her cheek as she takes in a breath, wanting her heart to stop pounding hard at his words. 

“I love you, too, Embry. So much.”

She wraps her arms around his neck, nuzzling against him slightly. He holds her as close as he can, wanting her to feel his love.

“No matter how much worse Jake can make tonight, this moment, with you, Em, it’s the best part of my day. Of my life.” She whispers.

“You’re already the best part of my life.” He whispers, kissing her temple before pulling away.

Quil stomps out of the house, rushing straight for his best friends, mumbling about how much an ass Jake is. Jacob walks out slowly, embarrassed about everything Sam, Paul and Embry have said to him. Emily even said something when Hayley rushed out of the house. Their Beta drives them to the Cullen’s house, the disgusting smell of sweet bleach hitting their noses as soon as they pull in. 

Embry and Quil growl, but exit the car, knowing that they better get this over with so they can get home as soon as possible. Hayley turns off her truck and puts the keys in her pocket before looking at Jake.

“We’re going to go in. You’re going to apologize. I’m gonna get some cake then we’re leaving. Understood?”

He nods softly, swallowing the small amount of spit in his mouth. She leaves the car and walks to the two boys who are waiting for her. It doesn’t take long for them to find the entrance after hearing the loud music and teenagers talking from the truck. Despite how tense they are, Embry and Quil flank Hayley while Jacob stands a few feet to the side.

Since he’s in the house of the Cullen Coven, he’s calm and confident, not wanting them to know his pack just ripped him a new one for even wanting to be there. Bella catches sight of the four of them before sighing to herself, maneuvering off the dance floor.

“What are you doing here?” She asks, glancing at the other three.

“You invited me, remember?” He smiles slightly.

“Was my right hook too subtle for you? It was me uninviting you.” She scoffs before gesturing to Hayley. “She has more of a right to be here than you do and she doesn’t even like me.”

The Beta smirks to herself, glancing around the party.

“Look, Bella. I’m sorry…about, you know…The kiss and your hand.” He says, causing the two boys to look at him in confusion. “I’d blame it on the whole inner animal thing, but it was really…just me. Being an ass. I’m really sorry.”

Bella sees how sincere he is with his words before nodding slightly. 

“I brought you something. A graduation present.” He says, pulling something out of his pocket. “I made it myself.”

Embry rolls his eyes and puts his hand on his girlfriend’s back. He didn’t even give his pack members a card for their graduation. Hell! Seth handmade cards for the three graduates. Hay immediately put it on her wall so she can look at it everyday. 

“You made this?” Bella asks, looking at the intricately hand-carved miniature wolf that is attached to a bracelet. “It’s really pretty! Thanks.”

Jacob grins widely and helps her put it on, glad she likes it. Hayley pulls on her boyfriend’s shirt slightly, gesturing to the door. He nods slightly, knowing what she means before turning to Jacob to tell him where they’re going. Before Hay can try to move past a couple of the Forks High graduates, wanting to get some food since Jake rudely interrupted their dinner, a voice captures her attention.

“Hey! It’s Taken!” 

She groans slightly and turns around, mumbling softly. “As if this night couldn’t get any worse.”

Embry raises an eyebrow at her words and turns around, looking to see a blonde pale face, checking out his girlfriend, a slight glare appearing.

“Mike.” Hayley says, putting her hand on her boyfriend’s arm to calm him down. “What do you want?”

“I didn’t know you were going to be here.” He grins, stepping in front of her. 

“Well, my great friend Bella graduated today so I thought I’d stop by and say hello.” She says, forcing the words out.

“Oh! Well while you’re here we should dance or something.” He checks her out again before looking up at Embry who steps up toward him.

Hayley bites her lip slightly, loving the protective feeling that’s radiating from her imprint. She’s also trying to hold back her laughter at the sight of her 6 foot 4 boyfriend, towering over the barely 5 foot 10 inch tall teenager.

“And you’re who?” Embry narrows his eyes. 

“I’m Mike.” He puts his hand out. “You must be the guy she’s happily and forever taken to?”

“I am.” He says, ignoring his hand shake. “So, you already knew that she’s taken? But you still thought you’d shoot your shot?”

“I, uh…” He stutters slightly. “I thought she was lying…”

“She wasn’t and she still isn’t so why don’t you go and dance with someone else because this beautiful girl is mine.” He wraps his arm around her waist.

“Yeah, uh, sure. Sorry.” Mike gulps before turning around, rushing back toward Jessica who was still on the dance floor.

When he’s out of earshot, Hayley turns to look up at her boyfriend with a smirk.

“And you say I’m the hot one.” She whispers, knowing he can hear her. “I’d have to say, you’re the hot one here.”

He looks down at her, the glare immediately erasing from his face.

“Me?” He chuckles and shakes his head. “Nah, it’s still you.”

Before she can reply, the air in the room quickly gets thick, not that any of the humans around would notice. The couple turns around to see Alice near the staircase, frozen in her spot. She’s having a vision.

“Shit.” She whispers before following Bella, Jake and Quil to the know-it-all vampire.

“Alice, what did you see?” Bella whispers, looking at her friend.

“Okay, something is going on. Tell me.” Jake says, looking between them.

“I…need to talk to Jasper.” She says, turning to the side.

The shifter puts his arm against the wall, blocking her from moving.

“Why don’t you tell me?” He growls slightly.

“I suggest you remove your arm…before I do.” Jasper says, appearing almost out of nowhere.

“Nah, how about you back up away from my pack before I remove yours.” Hayley glares at the vampire. 

He turns toward her, his lethal expression falling as he sees she’s flanked by her imprint and best friend. He swallows the venom in his mouth, not wanting to start anything with her.

“The decision has been made.” Alice says, breaking their eye contact.

“What’s going on? You’re not going to Seattle?” Bella asks, looking at her again.

“No…They’re coming here…”

The four pack members follow behind the vampire couple to Carlisle’s office where the rest of them were waiting. Once again Quil and Embry are flanking their Beta while Jake stands near Bella but he’s far enough away from Edward to be happy.

“How long?” Edward asks, looking at his ‘sister’. 

“They’ll be here in four days.” She answers.

The four pack members glance at each other, confused at the conversation that’s going on. 

“This could turn into a bloodbath.” Carlisle says, glancing at his family.

“Who’s behind it?” The mind-reading vampire continues his questioning.

“I didn’t see anyone I recognize. Maybe one.” Alice thinks about her vision.

“I know his face. He’s local, Riley Biers.” He says, glancing at his girlfriend. “He didn’t start this.”

For the last year, her father, the Chief of Police, has been searching for him since he’s been missing. Now she knows what happened.

“Whoever did is staying out of the action.”

“They must be playing with the blind spots in your vision.” Carlisle speaks up again.

“Either way, the army is coming…” Jasper stands straight. “And there aren’t enough of us to protect the town.”

Hayley has had enough. She steps forward, putting her hands out, shaking slightly at the conversation.

“Hold up. What damn army? What are you talking about?”

Carlisle looks toward his ‘youngest son’ who shakes his head. He sighs and looks toward the Beta of the pack.

“Newborns. Our kind.”

“What are they after?” Embry asks, glancing at his imprint.

“They were passing around Bella’s scent. A red blouse.”

“The scent Jake and I smelled. Must be this Riley kid.” Hayley says, glancing at the oldest vampire.

“They’re the ones after Bella?” Embry raises an eyebrow.

“What the hell does this mean?” Jacob speaks up.

“It means an ugly fight. With lives lost.” Carlisle sighs.

A sudden weight falls on Hayley’s shoulders. Lives lost meaning that these newborn vampires can get past the Cullen’s and get to Forks or the tribe, killing everyone. She can’t let that happen. Innocent people can get hurt and she, as a spirit warrior, has sworn to protect every innocent human she possibly could. 

She looks over her right shoulder at Embry who, despite not being a mind reader, knows exactly what she’s thinking. He puts his hand on her lower back, silently informing her ‘whatever you say, I’ll do’. She looks toward Quil who gives her an almost invisible nod, knowing what the risk is. She blows air from her nose before looking at Jake. 

Even after her large speech barely an hour ago, she knew she had to do this.

“Alright…we’re in.” 

“No!” Bella speaks up, shaking her head. “You’ll get yourselves killed. No way.”

“I don’t need your permission, Isabella.” She states before looking toward Carlisle. 

Before she can speak any further, the human looks toward her boyfriend.

“Edward!”

“It means more protection for you.” He shrugs, happy that Hayley came to the conclusion she did.

“Jacob!”

“If I was in Hayley’s position, I’d do the same.” He says, thankful for the Beta of his pack.

Her speech was still lingering on his mind so he knew he couldn’t outwardly ask Hayley to do this…save his love but knowing she was willing to do this…even if it wasn’t for him, it makes him question his intentions with the pack. 

“Do you believe Sam will agree to an understanding?” Carlisle asks, looking at the female pack member.

“Innocent lives are at stake here. Her father. Jake’s father. My tribe.” She says, crossing her arms. “Not just Bella.”

“Jasper.” He says, looking at his ex-war veteran. 

“They’ll give us the numbers. And the newborns won’t know they even exist. That’ll give us an edge.”

“We’ll need to coordinate.” He says, looking toward Hayley once again.

“Carlisle, they’ll get hurt!” Bella speaks up again.

“We’ll all need some training. Fighting newborns requires knowledge that Jasper has. You’re welcome to join us.”

“Name the time and place.” Hayley looks toward Jasper.

“Tonight…Dawn?” Jasper asks, making sure the time was okay with her.

“I’ll talk with Sam.” She says, turning around toward her imprint.

He keeps his hand on her lower back, ushering her out the door, Quil and Jake following her. 

“There goes my damn Harry Potter marathon.” She mumbles, causing Embry to rub her back. 

Before they can fully exit the house, Bella runs up behind the four pack members.

“Hayley, Jake. You don’t know what you’re getting yourselves into!”

The Beta turns around to look at her. 

“Bella, this is what we do.” She shakes her head. “I’m doing this for your father and every other innocent person you’ve dragged into your bullshit.”

“You should be happy.” Jake looks down at his best friend. “Look at us, working together. You’re the one who wanted us to get along, remember?”

Not allowing the human to say anything else, the four pack members quickly leave, getting into Hayley’s truck, ready to go back to her house.

[simplydnp]

you don't need to post this but, char, that thing you wrote about being so happy when certain people reblog things from you - you're one of those blogs for me. it's like, wow this person with really cool and good thoughts thought my thing was cool, reblogged it and even wrote something in the tags??

I was going to yap something sappy about community, how we're all brought together through the same thing and enable each other in the best (and sometimes probably worst) ways possible, but judging by your tags you also feel that way :)

anon 🥺🥺🥺

i think it's really neat how positivity is spread through the phandom on tumblr. there's people who have been here for many, many years, and blogs who have tons of followers in the space, but the posts that get the most traction? they're sweet. or funny and sweet. the big blogs will reblog anything from anyone and it'll rock op's world for a few days. and thats so cool! it's holding up a sign like hey i thought this was neat! and we all crowd around like omg yeah!!

i think a lot about post circulation on tumblr, as well as tagging (cause i do it a lot). and what ive noticed from dnp tumblr is that a large chunk of posts get shared bc 1 person reblogged it, and it sets off a chain reaction. most people find most posts through their dash, as opposed to searching the tag. it leads to a big sense of community and comraderie. reblogging is always important but even more so for phandom tumblr.

i'm glad i can share some positivity with the posts i interact with, cause really, that's what it's all about isn't it? everyone here is so fucking cool and i think it's really important for people to hear they're doing well, which is what i try to do with my blog. be it any type of art, jokes, or text posts, we all post to be seen in some way shape or form.

[scoonsalicious]

Unwanted: Chapter 20, Uninhibited - Pt. 1

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, vomiting, mentions of speculation of poisoning.

Word Count: 562

Previously On...: You confronted Bucky for sleeping with Jade. He was full of apologies and tears, but you'd had enough of both.

A/N: We now officially begin the third arc of the story! While the betrayal is done, there are still going to be a lot of dark themes that will be explored. You are warned.

NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when I update, please enable notifications from my Blog page!

Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917!

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

Taglist: (Sadly, tag list is closed; Tumblr will not let me add anyone new. If you want to be notified when I update, please Follow me for Notifications!) @jmeelee @cazellen @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @blackhawkfanatic @buckybarnessimpp @hayjat @capswife @itsteambarnes @marygoddessofmischief @sebastians-love @learisa @lethallyprotected @rabbitrabbit12321 @buckybarnesandmarvel @fanfictiongirl77 @calwitch @fantasyfootballchampion @selella @jackiehollanderr @wintercrows @sashaisready @missvelvetsstuff @angelbabyyy99 @keylimebeag @maybefoxysouls @vicmc624 @j23r23 @wintercrows @crist1216 @cjand10 @pattiemac1@les-sel @dottirose @winterslove1917 @harperkenobi @ivet4 @casey1-2007 @mrsevans90 @steeph-aniie @bean-bean2000 @beanbagbitch @peachiestevie @wintrsoldrluvr @shadowzena43

Tumblr will not let me directly tag the following: @marcswife21 @erelierraceala @jupiter-107 @doublejeon @hiqhkey @unaxv @brookeleclerc

The rest of the week was awful. You distracted yourself as best you could, practicing your dance routines on the pole Tony had reluctantly transferred to your new, temporary space. Thank goodness you’d kept yourself in shape over the years; you’d forgotten how much core and upper body strength pole dancing required. Yet the movements came back to you with ease, muscle memory that allowed your mind to wander, which wasn’t always necessarily a good thing.

You were still vomiting, though not as severely. One early morning, after nausea had pulled you from a restless sleep and you were hanging your head, exhausted, over the toilet bowl once more, you had the terrifying thought that Jade had been poisoning you this entire time, deliberately, to take you off the mission with Bucky so she could insert herself. You wondered, horrified, if she and Bucky had been in on it, together. If it had been their plan all along to get you out of the way.

You shook your head, dispersing the ridiculous thought. Bucky was careless with your heart, but you didn’t think he actively hated you. Emotionally, he obviously didn’t give a flying fuck how much pain he caused you, but he wouldn’t physically harm you. Carthage, on the other hand, well, you thought her entirely capable of such a thing. But how would she have the access without ensuring others were getting sick, too?

No, your overtired imagination was getting the better of you, and you were more than eager to paint Jade as the villain in any circumstance that might present itself. The truth of it was, she’d already done enough damage; you didn’t have to invent more.

You tried your best to avoid Bucky, but as Wanda and Nat had warned you, it was easier said than done. Though Tony had allowed you to restrict access to your new floor to ensure Bucky couldn’t follow you to your room, he still managed to always be around every time you ventured out throughout the Tower. 

He only tried to engage with you once, two days after your storage closet confrontation, but you’d turned and immediately walked in the opposite direction. Everything was too raw, the pain too new, for you to be near him at the moment. Just the sight of him broke you apart all over again. The sooner you were out of the Tower for your mission, the better.

You’d warned him that if he couldn’t stay away from Carthage, you’d ice him out in such a way that he’d long for the warmth of Siberia. It was only fair for him to experience the consequences of his own actions.

As your birthday approached, you felt even worse. Before everything had gone to hell, Bucky had talked about taking a trip, just the two of you, to celebrate, but like all his other honeyed promises, it turned out to be nothing but bitter lies. You resented him for taking away any excitement you’d felt for your upcoming party, for destroying your chance to feel an emotion even close to resembling happiness, even with something that had nothing to do with him.

So, you stayed confined to your room as much as possible, practicing and researching, hoping that, with enough time, you’d finally manage to bury all of the pain beneath enough layers of ice to numb yourself.

<- Previous Chapter / Next Part ->

[chipper-asks]

Hi! I've been following you for a good while now and have always rly admired the community you've build, and, your art itself, obviously, it's always very cozy in here. May be a strange question, but as a relatively popular artist on the interned, are there any tips you could share on how to engage and sustain an audience? maybe you know some recourses for artist to get their art seen? I've been an artist posting online for roughly 10 yrs and pretty much failed at accumulating any sort of prominent presence. I don't feel bad about it really, it's not why I do art per say, but these are pretty rough times and unfortunately other means of art monetization grow thinner with stupid updates & algorithms forcing anyone who can't afford payed adds or subscriptions out of business. I kinda have to make use of social media, even if it's not my element in the slightest. Feel free not to answer if you feel like it. Thanks in advance! Also big thanks for your shouts of my art overall, I really appreciate your support!

So I've had a post in my drafts for who knows how long detailing how to build and curate your audience online. But I haven't found a good way to go about posting it because I didn't want it to come off as tooting my own horn xD

BUT YOU HAVE ENABLED ME SO HERE WE GO!!!

(im going to generalize, you may already be doing some of these things but I think its good info for anyone who wants to build an online presence)

1. Engaging your audience

A: First, you have to think of the platform you're sharing your art on and what people use it for. Not even tumblr, but the internet as a whole. It is a place where people form communities and share information. It's also one of the most popular ways to mentally escape; from school, boredom, to the horrors of real life.

So if you want people to find you, make a space where they can escape/feel community.

This means: No callout posting, no venting, no doom posting, no politics, no guilt posting, no anything that would make you unfollow someone else if you were having a bad day.

It's okay to have an occasional vent or political post cause we're human, but trauma dumping is something thats very hard for someone else to read and honestly should you be putting that kind of information online, the internet is a place of community but it also isnt safe.

B: The Value of Fandoms

It's time for some metrics, featuring my own follower count.

I've been on tumblr for 9 years and I have been making an effort to grow my base as a way of getting money as a freelancer (like you) so I started doing this allll the way back in highschool. I can remember each milestone and which fandom I got them in

1,000 I got when I was posting stuff for Undertale

2,000 I got when I was posting stuff for The Property of Hate

there was a big break between these milestones where I was just drawing ocs and object heads and stuff, but nothing I was hyperfixated on

5,000 I got from Hollow Knight

but then something really unexpected happened.

In late 2021 and early 2022 I decided cringe was a worthless social construct and decided to fully indulge in my enjoyment of doodling dragons.

I juuust inched past 5,000 when 2022 started. I Ended Up With 12,000 as 2022 ended. That's more than double. As of posting this I am at 13,600 and its only February.

So how did that happen? I could tout along and say that it was simply luck and I wasn't really making an effort anyway but that's a big fuckin lie, i've been "selling out" this whole time (it's not fucking selling out to post in fandom. You like a thing? You go to the thing's community and post about the thing)

Posting in a fandom is essentially like, now bear with me, advertising for your blog. Fandom is where the eyes are and where the traffic goes. Big tags like #artistsontumblr #tumblrart #art are used OFTEN but they're too general and often people look for things that are specific. Fandoms like Hollow Knight, BNHA, Mob Psycho, The Owl House, etc are currently popping off and have a lot of traffic.

This doesn't necessarily mean that you need to join a popular fandom to post your work in to get followers, it just means that if you're into a show or a media, post it on your main art blog and don't make side blogs. Keep it all together

Why?

Because 5% of those fandom people stick around for YOUR STUFF and those 5% of people are the best goddamn people in the world. You want those 5% to see EVERYTHING you do and THEY'RE the ones who will recommend you to THEIR friends and do outreach on your behalf because they like YOU and not YOUR STUFF.

i fuckin love those guys

So as you hop from fandom to fandom, you're going to lose some people but that's fine. Everyone curates their experience online and if you head off in a direction they don't like then they can deal with it. The rest come along for the ride cause 1: they either really like your stuff or 2: are into the new thing you're getting into.

SO ANYWAY

posting in fandoms under one name is GOOD because it puts everyone in the same bucket that will see your stuff and there's a chance that a few will stick just for your stuff. It is not cheap, its how you reach out to people to help cheer up their day and escape from things stressing them out.

C: What should you post?

So this is something that isn't an exact science but if you're looking to increase your follower count, this is something you can keep in mind.

Because this is the internet and the digital word of escaping from stress, people flock to things that are

1: Familiar 2: Funny 3: Relatable

So i've already been over fandoms and that's something that goes into the Familiar category. Familiar can also mean generalized but still popular concepts, like werewolves, dragons, vampires, apocalyptic scenarios, etc.

The more you trail into something niche, like marine biology, the seelie/unseelie courts, object heads, etc, the less traffic you'll find. There are communities centered around these but they're not massive like certain fandoms.

Which is how you end up with artists who spend hours upon hours on every piece only getting like 14 - 32 notes per piece. It's not lack of people caring or lack of interest, its the fact that these artists haven't "advertised" their blogs in fandom. Those people who end up caring about more personal posts are those 5% you find from fandom spaces. Their Familiar from that fandom begins to include your artwork as Familiar and thus they're more likely to share it.

Funny is simple. Tumblr is a platform of shitposts and memes. Do you have a favorite character in a fandom? Shitpost them. 2 birds with one stone, Familiar and Funny. I can't teach you how to be funny, but if you see something that makes you laugh online, pause and try to find out why and see if you can replicate it. (You wont get it in one go)

Relate-ability is also simple. If someone finds something they can easily associate with they will eagerly tag #mood #me or @ one of their friends in the post.

What doesn't get people following just by itself is your skill.

This sounds really fucking depressing but hear me out.

Your skill in art is a multiplier. It can take those three categories from above and BOOST IT to fantastic new heights. People love things that are from their fandoms that are funny and relate-able. People go FERAL for shit that is from their fandoms that are funny, relate-able AND COOL AS FUCK. If art represented x5 in an equation and you have nothing else, you get 0. If you include any of those three other things and then x5, you get something grand.

2. Sustaining your Audience.

If you want to set up your blog as a platform to eventually gain freelance income from, you need to make it yours and not your audience's.

This is key to prevent burnout and feeling obligation to create for thousands of featureless faces and losing sight of what made you enjoy art in the first place.

It is REALLY EASY to fall into that pit, especially as you grow your audience. When you have a small audience, it's easier to interact one on one with someone. Engagement is exciting when you have a small audience! People? Interested in your work!! Fuck yeah!!

But as you reach those milestones, the vibe begins to change. More and more people demand your attention. People who are new don't see you as an artist they knew from another fandom, they see you as a content creator and that is the worst goddamn stone wheel to get stuck around your neck.

You can still respond to requests and answer silly questions, but now you have to keep in mind that if you draw this little dragon for someone, three other people are going to ask for their own little dragons. And that's fine because you love dragons and they asked so nicely. You make those dragons but now there's seven people asking for their own dragons and you actually want to work on something other than dragons-- but you made those dragon doodles for those other people so wouldn't it be hypocritical to say no-

It becomes a spiral.

So to prevent that situation from happening, you need to respect your boundaries as an artist and what you will do and what you will draw the line at. If someone doesn't like you for that, they can unfollow.

In terms of posting regularly to sustain your audience, i've found that it helps but ultimately doesn't matter.

(this is a tumblr centric view, i cannot say the same for other platforms)

The way tumblr works resembles a massive recycling facility. You will see shit on your dash from 7 years ago but you dont mind, its how this place works.

It doesn't matter how often you post. You won't lose priority on people's dashboards if you don't make your daily art post. What matters is that you just make the post.

Each post you make is like sending out a bucket of chum into the grand ocean of tumblr. The more buckets of chum you have, the more likely you are to attract fish. The more you post the larger your radius is. The more variety you make in spreading out to different fandoms the wider your range is. And these spots of chum don't go away! They're permanent brown spots in a big blue wasteland and fish will stumble across it and then try to find the source.

Basically, you can disappear for an entire month and then suddenly return out of nowhere and shove 57 posts into a week and then disappear again and people will show up and stick around.

THis post is getting really long and there are probably some things im missing but my hadns are getting achy and i think that's my call to stop :p

if you have anymore questions tho im very willing to answer 👍

[faux-fires]

tagged by @ranilla-bean for the 20 questions meme!

1. how many works do you have on ao3? 35

2. what’s your total ao3 word count? 466,309. Hey, that's not too shabby!

3. what fandoms do you write for? Currently NONE. previously: dragon age, tsubasa chronicle, supernatural, fullmetal alchemist, legend of zelda...

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Your Princess is in Another Castle ("Dragons kidnap princesses, everyone knows this… except sometimes, they get it wrong. Or do they? A story about mistakes, misunderstandings, and flower crowns. Also Kurogane's non-stop never-ending suck of a life, and the idiot that causes all that chaos to begin with.")

For Better or for Worse ("A 'five things' fic, featuring five different times Hawke proposed to Anders.")

The Centre of All Things ("Hawke gave Anders a ring, after their first night together, and never quite told him what it meant. As Kirkwall begins to crumble around them, Anders struggles to strike a balance between love and the needs of the mages.")

Adjustment ("A year after the end of Act 2, Anders comes home late, and Hawke missed him.")

Bound ("Anders receives many gifts from Aggressive!Hawke across the years. He's charmed by most of them, surprised by others.")

most of my fics predate ao3 and while i backloaded the TRC ones on, I can't be bothered doing the same for the FMA fic i wrote 20 years ago. and the SPN stuff, uh, well, AO3 kind of did it for me! i woke up one day and an old archive i forgot my fic was on had been ported to the archive, all my spn fics helpfully attached to my account in the process. when i tell you i orphaned them at something like the speed of light -

5. do you respond to comments? Um.... I MEAN to, but.... i'm not great at remembering...? i really cherish every one i receive and i KNOW it's bad of me, i can only offer apologies.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? i literally just write happy endings i can't answer this

7. what is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? how are defining happy??? look mikke takes the piss out of me ALL THE TIME for my definition of fluff, ever since i entered a fluff vs angst competition on the side of team fluff with a story in which one half of the otp was tortured and murdered (he got better)! *i* define a happy ending as one in which, during the course of the story, a character grows and develops. by that metric, an ending where the character loses everything and everyone they love but gains a mindset enabling them to find peace with the loss is a happy ending, TO ME. a sad ending, by contrast, is one in the character does not grow or change, and stays in the same state (or worse!) than they started the story.

so with that in mind, probably through a forest wilderness. people die! anders and hawke are rejected as monstrous by the people they tried to save! but they gained one (1) feral orphan and solved their relationship issues, d'awwww. <3

8. do you get hate on fics? nope

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind? yes, but not in EVERY story. i find smut to require a lot of effort to write! there's complex choreography and emotions to handle... the only thing harder (HEHEHE) is fight scenes for the exact same reason

10. do you write crossovers? what’s the craziest one you’ve written? i'm not interested in crossovers (blorbos from series a meet blorbos from series b) but i love a good fusion fic, where blorbos from series a have always lived in the world of series b. craziest... probs the trc/wow fusion fic i wrote for an audience of three people? idk i've written a lot! i dreamed of a zukka howl's moving castle fusion a few days ago (probably inspired by chiptrillino's gorgeous illustrations she's been sharing recently) so that was pretty fun, as someone who very, very rarely remembers my dreams.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen? nope!

12. have you ever had a fic translated? yeah, to russian!

13. have you ever co-written a fic before? yeah, @mikkeneko and i wrote a whole SPACE OPERA. well. half of one, i guess (oops).

14. what’s your all-time favourite ship? whatever i'm shipping at the moment

15. what’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? i plead the fifth

16. what are your writing strengths? EMOTIONS. also i think i write humour well?

17. what are your writing weaknesses? starting, continuing and finishing. /sob

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? even if you're fluent in that language, it alienates more people than it impresses, i think. i love using other languages as an easter egg (like rana has a character named with a cantonese pun in the iconoclast) but whole dialogue is like... very hard to pull off, and outright mortifying if you don't actually speak the language and just google translate it.

19. first fandom you wrote for? the legend of zelda! my irl friends and i (aged 13) had a massive shared self-insert 'verse going on. my first steps into fandom PROPER tho was with fullmetal alchemist.

20. favourite fic you’ve written? this is a complex question because how do you define favourite? swift illuminations was probably the most fun to write (anders vs hawke arm wrestling) and i always enjoy getting to write comedy - your princess is in another castle has my favourite lines i've ever written, for example:

"Can I go?" Yuui asked Ashura. Despairing it was, then. At least he wasn't naked. It was a low bar to meet in terms of presentation, but so far two of the six people in this room weren't making it.

these skies are breaking i've always been fond of because it's 35k and i wrote it in two days but the plot is uhhhhhh. missing. ash on the windowsill same sitch, 50k in 36 hours and my first completed multi-chapter fic but i wince at how clumsy it is when i reread it. i'm proud of a lot of my later dragon age fics because they contain better exploration of ideas and characterisation, so... idk. toss up!

but in terms of stuff i'm most satisfied with, probs 'how to love a god' this short character exploration piece i wrote for the anderszine. first time writing second person and because of the zine space limit i had a hard maximum word count too so i agonized over every word choice. i don't really edit my own stuff - i post it pretty much hot off the hoop - but i did actually enjoy doing it that time.

uhhhh so that's me. but i'm tagging.... anyone who wants to do this!

[voxofthevoid]

Thank you for enabling my addiction! (You honestly didn't have to, I was just lamenting and had to do *something* or else I'd be crawling up me walls by now)

I do have a question for you though! You write canon divergent stories, do you always write Gojo the same way?

Metaphor: I have 5 different Barbie dolls. They are all barbie but they're all slightly different, and how I *play* with them and give them character varies depending with what I want. One barbie may be more analytical and cold vs. Another barbie that is more sardonic and mean-spirited.

Do you have 1 Barbie that you use for every story, letting that one barbie react to different scenarios or do you have several different barbies depending on what you want.

Cause will admit, between your adult gojos and teen gojos, it's kinda hard to pinpoint is there *is* a varying difference between them, if any.

~Messy, being nosy

Haha, don’t worry, I’m generally one gentle poke away from throwing my ficbits all over Tumblr. I genuinely love sharing and seeing you guys’ reactions 💜

As for your question—yes and no!

The Barbie metaphor won’t work for how I approach this, so let’s go with a very cliched one—a prism. Gojou (and Yuuji and any character I delve into deeply and/or frequently) is a prism to me, and what the story decides is which side of it I’ll focus on. So, in a way, I do always write the same Gojou—similar tastes, similar history, similar choices. The details will vary depending on the kind of canon divergence, plus an assortment of headcanons I pick and choose from, but the way I conceptualize him is essentially the same.

But a blend of the setting (canon period plus the canon-divergence alternations, if any), the plot (background, inciting event, and related developments), and the character interactions (primarily the Gojou–Yuuji romantic/sexual element) is what determines the specifics of his character in a particular story.

For example, little lamb to the slaughter centers his morally dubious side as applied to his desire for Yuuji, with undertones of manipulation and coercion that taper off as the story progresses, while every version of the story (Ao3 version here) dials these aspects up to eleven to the point that the story earns every one of those additional tags and then some. I think the time travel threesome fic is the best for observing the differences and similarities between his teen and adult versions, albeit filtered through the teen one’s rather biased perspective. The similarities dominate, especially when it comes to anything that matters.

And that makes me pretty glad you can’t pinpoint any distinct differences as much! Mission accomplished.

Still, I think the most decisive factor is age. Pre-Toji Gojou, post-Toji Gojou, and canon adult Gojou are all subtly different flavors of the same dish (oops, new metaphor) to me, and if I were to write kid Gojou or early–mid 20s Gojou, the characterization nuances would be different again. The blueprint, however, would be the same.

That all said, full disclosure—I’m an instinctual writer. All the observations above are ones made after the fact. The way I figure out characters is by writing them—serpent tongue was how I got a handle on Gojou, little lamb helped me get deeper into Yuuji’s head, and isolation neophyte was a revelation or ten about Nanami.

And a very big thank you for being nosy because this was hella fun to answer! I’d never considered my approach to characterization from this angle before.

[jaeyunsim]

It's award season (unconfirmed)! Give some of your mutuals silly little awards.

ooh i saw someone get this ask too and i thought it was fun so thanks anon for sending 🫶🏼

i don’t have many mutuals on this blog to begin with but

@heeseunq - enhablr cc of the year obviously goes to the bestie! she’s been consistently putting out beautiful content since day 1 to keep the fandom going and we appreciate her for all the hardwork 💖 she also gets bestie award, sister from another mister award, hybe employee of the year award, and heeseung’s #1 lover award.

@hoonclub - 10cm doll plushie hoarder award lmao i know you don’t hoard but if ordering from korean fans were so easy u would have all the versions of en-nimalz

@leeheeseunq - supportive gf award lol em youre one the best people on here always supporting ccs and always having a compliment in the tags 🫶🏼 gfx wizard award on the side as well

@jngwonnie - gif sharpening goals award chrissy i am in love with the way you sharpen your gifs! you are a blessing joining enhablr!

@jeonwonwoo - gfx wizard award 2 zaynab, you are so skilled in making stylish gifs in all the fandoms you are in, it’s so incredible! the tutorials you post are so helpful and so inspirational <3

@lunetual - material gorl award the best enabler if you’re hesitating to buy something. also best person to walk around the mall with because she will amplify the experience by starting off with a nice bevvy on hand.

@wonjinist - resident big sister award i know we’re the same age but like at my grown age i still need big sister advice and you are so easy to confide to!

@chewysan - hottest game tagger i love dom for always tagging me in those tagging games! i may not do all of them because i feel like im so boring and i wont contribute anything fun but my biggest love language is being remembered in things like this. and i say hottest because have u seen dom?? and his make up looks?

@zeikeu - serial url changer award i love you zo but you make me question who i’m interacting with every time cause of ur new url 😭 keep doing it tho, its fun seeing what you have next. also my fellow jake enthusiast <3

@blonghoonie and @flowerjun - best little sisters award cutest duo ever and validates me all the time lmao i also love seeing your convos on the dash 😆

@jhoons - jayhoon lover the one jayhoon believer left on this app lmao im kidding but thank u for reminding enhablr the one and only unit still exists

[yuexuan]

[Review]惊悚练习生

Title: 惊悚练习生 Thriller trainee

Author: 妄鸦

Length: 251 chapters + 8 extras

Tag: transmigration, infinite flow, horror

Summary [taken from novel updates]:

The washed-up magician Zong Jiu transmigrated into a horror, infinite flow novel about a survival show, taking the place of the cannon fodder who died tragically in the first evaluation round. This show was very interesting. Out of the tens of thousands of people, only a hundred people could survive, and the c-position (strongest contender) could even get a universal wish ticket.

If it were someone else, they’d probably be scared to death.

No one expected that Zong Jiu was not only unafraid, but also caused a sensational stir, shamelessly showing off his tricks the whole way.

Once his tricks stopped, and his life could be considered safe and sound, he ended up in a rivalry with the novel’s big villain.

Today you try to get at me, tomorrow I’ll get you back, back and forth, it’s pretty fun, heh.

As a result, though it was just playing around, one time they got carried away and really did end up sleeping together. Watching the nemesis who was pressing him to the ground, Zong Jiu lazily lifted his gaze. “If you want to kill me then kill me, don’t speak nonsense.” Even when at a disadvantage, he showed no trace of fear, and actually continued to provoke him.

That person used his ice-cold finger to trace his ear, and the action heading toward the aorta suddenly stopped.

“What a pity. I’ve changed my mind.”

—

He was once very willing to personally give Zong Jiu death. Every day, he used to regret not gouging out his flesh, personally snapping his neck. But after this person fell into his hands, another, more urgent desire grew like weeds.

Compared to winning or losing, he would rather see him crying and panting, with eyes red, begging for mercy.

Novel | Novel [translated]

Comments **contain spoilers**:

The summary pretty much covers the gist of the novel. The main couple has an enemy-to-lover dynamic, with the MC being a cool and stoic world-class magician, whilst the ML being a cunning devil. On the surface, the two of them are arch nemesis, but beneath it all, they are pretty much the same type of person, seeking the thrills within each horror show.

Highlights:

The tension between the main couple is solid. ML is constantly trying to create troubles for MC and MC is constantly thinking outside-of-the-box to beat ML’s games. As the no. 1 trainee and ‘trainer’, ML has the ability to control any trainee and NPC of his choice, sending them to obstruct MC’s progress. Fortunately, MC received a stack of tarot cards that enabled him to seek out the characters that were controlled. The entire plot revolves around the two of them playing a figurative game of chess, until their enmity eventually evolves into something more hehe.

As with many infinite flow stories, worldbuilding is always a highlight. I liked how there were more ‘relaxing’ games after each ‘show’, where the trainees were allowed to rest or bet their lives on additional rewards. Out of all these games, I particularly liked the amusement park arc where MC befriended the monsters/ghosts and received their assistance in winning the game. It was kinda sweet watching the monsters/ghosts feeling happy interacting with the trainees.

Another unique aspect is that there were shows where trainees had to work together to survive. For example, the arc where they had to pass exams in a school was particularly touching when members of the 9th class sacrificed themselves to ensure the survival of the rest of the class ):

Aside from the main pairing, I also liked the second pairing a lot - watching them go from F-tier trainees to A-tier trainees through their hard work was so sweet and I wished there were more moments of them together.

Things I didn’t like:

This novel reminded me a lot of <这该死的求生欲>, where the main pairing also had an enemy-to-lover dynamic and ML was one of the bosses. More importantly, the writing style also reeks of chūnibyō from time to time. The way the novel described the interactions between the main couple and their appearances can come off as very immature-ish haha. That said, it does get better in the latter half of the story, especially after the two realized that they had special feelings for one another.