#tagging for vamp just in case
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sexuality theories
varies from headmate to headmate and trying to act like we have a collective sexuality like we have a collective gender is stupid and a waste of time
gay. i KNOW that if theres anybody i like its men. hrggrhgh men :333
bisexual. i want some women to bench press me but also not really and dating someone who fully straight up is 100% a woman with no gender fuckery is hard to wrap my head around. also i only like masc women?? except for sometimes. masc and/or could kill me idk manm mahbe i just have a type. also gender people.
attracted to masculinity, not necesarrily to men. up for debate because i like femboys.
pansexual and nothing matters
abrosexual. most likely-
aromantic. idk sociopath shit- the way i feel love is fucked up and incorrect to the point that i question if i feel it at all. if im aro im also cupioromantic though cuz my boyfriend's fucking great you guys
sluttiest asexual ever. no sexual attraction just "oh this is fun" or like infinite dopamine hack. also hypersexual cause trauma yay, i know THAT for a fact.
arojump/arospike since it changes. kinda fits under abro
demiromantic???
gray ace. ???
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TW for syscourse and everything that comes with Astro
Seeing our mutual get attacked by Astro is so annoying and fucking funny.
so we are making a post about it and debunking some shit .
As someone who is clinically diagnosed with multiple delusional disorders and psychotic disorders I can tell you that even IF our plurality was caused by psychosis that’s fine. Also we are diagnosed with brief psychotic disorder so our plurality literally could not be prolonged psychosis . Telling people they are in psychosis or delusional is in fact ableist . It is in fact an awful and harmful thing to do , especially if said “ delusions “ or perceived delusions are not PHYSICALLY HARMFUL to themselves or others .
Also as someone clinically diagnosed with factious disorder calling every single person who disagrees with you a fucking disorder faker is in fact also ableist and overall an awful thing to do . You evidently are showing you have NO awareness on what facticious disorder really is. People with fastidious disorder fake disorders for FUCKING ATTENTION due to FUCKING TRAUMA usually caused by FUCKING NEGLECT .also you can’t fake a disorder if your not claiming to have it dumbass .
Calling everyone who disagrees with a you a “ girl / lady “ or a “ white girl “ is actually an extremely fucking sexist , homophobic , transphobic , intersexist , racist thing to do .
Threatening fucking RAPE is AWFUL for ANYONE to do . And when I say anyone we FUCKING MEAN ANYONE . Rape is NOT SOME FUCKING JOKE . Astro you “ claim “ to stand up for trauma survivors while inflicting more trauma and triggering said trauma survivors . Get your fucking act together .
Have you ever heard of IFS therapy ? Since there’s literal therapy around viewing yourself as a collective / system with different parts that you have to coexist with <3
The fact that me a severely disabled person with an Intellectual disability that makes it hard for me to comprehend most things is able to definitively say why every action of yours is wrong is fucking funny as hell !
-Link and F2 members of a medically recognized system who ah been in therapy for years .
( feel free 2 tag Astro in this if u want , but we do have him blocked )
^ adding this just in case spelling errors or worded wrong :3
#plural#pluralgang#plural system#endo safe#tw syscourse#cw syscourse#tagging for vamp#< just in case#tw ableism#tw ableist language#tw abuse#tw abuse mention#tw rape mention#tw sa mention#tw sa#ask to tag !!#taggingforcrystalcluster
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ah, that anon still going at it??? i think its the same person that was ableist towards us for. checks notes. having zoophilic intrusive thoughts??? and basically implied they don’t believe paraphiles deserve human rights???
just speculation, but honestly wouldn’t be surprised ^^
— hazel
WHAT ,??,,,,,?????? D:
ew …. /nay
( also aren’t you…. Not a zoo what ??)
well if anon was referring to you then they were completely wrong and just a jerk.
I’m sorry to hear that someone was harassing you /vgen
-???
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Okay so why do balls have little rocks in them bc I learned abt this like weeks ago that balls have a rock in them and that's why it hurts to get kicked in the balls, but like what is the rock for
Is he just to keep them company or what
#mewo rambles :3#tagging for vamp#tagging for dogz#mavey go away#tagging for dice#<- reproductive organs in a non-sexual connotation but yeah#purp go away#<- I don't think y'all mind raunchy jokes but just in case
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AMARA GIRLFAILURE of VALLAKI BALDUR'S GATE
#oc: amara of vallaki#really paying for never coming up with a last name for her huh.#fucking laughed @ the kick. tbt the strahd statue punch. lore friendly#dw guys human amara has somehow ko'd less than full vamp amara never 4get biting it session. one. or two.#bg3#bg3 spoilers#for tagging & blacklisting purposes i think i'm posting at dead hours and it's safe. i think.#cw gore#not super visible but just in case
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Every year for the month of October I make a movie calander- one horror movie a day, every day, for the entire month. My problem now, is that after three years of doing this- I'm starting to..... well, run out isn't the right way to put it... but it's starting to feel like I've seen most of the big hitters.
So the question I'm throwing out there is:
Fans of horror, what movies would you reccomend for this year's October watch?
I'm looking for anything and everything. I will watch silent black and white films. I read subtitles and I'm not opposed to hunting down a niche foreign horror/thriller. PLEASE DO NOT GIVE SPOILERS I would like to go into the movies blind (trigger warnings are very welcome, though)
#horror movies#october#spooktober#idk what tags to use. im really just assuming this post will find those it needs to before october this year#i really love the classic slasher movies. monster movies. creature features.#im not super into found footage (mostly because shaky cam makes me motion sick) but if someone has an absolute gem hidden somewhere......#id be willing to check it out#just!!!!! please help my bf has seen so much horror too. we need New Stuff#i dont wanna do a ton of rewatches this year. i wanna pick as many new movies as possible#dream goal is finding a solid 45 movies so i can have backups in case i cant for some reason find one on the list#“certainly tumblr user transsexula knows enough vampire movies!” FALSE i NEVER have enough vampire movies. give me ur niche vamp movies#give me gore give me scares give me heavy makeup#hell i love campy funny horror too#ANYTHING JUST GIMME ANY SUGGESTIONS PLEASE 😩
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everyone needs a little comfort after today so here’s something that brings me comfort and idk if it will to you but enjoy nonetheless 🩵
Thanks, I'm legitimately scared for my safety and I hope nothing too bad happens [even though it likely will]
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praying for canada
i believe in you guys!! you can push through! :)
amazing news for america tho!
we have done it!! We have fucking done it!! We killed kosa!!
im so proud of everyone for coming together and defending that horrid bill. Thank you for your help
Edit: we won the battle big the war but a win is still a win
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now i’m irritated for real reasons. you can’t just use the word inclusive and then exclude endos, that literally makes no fucking sense???
#the therian tag is an experience for sure#tagging for vamp#<-just in case because i can’t remember rn
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Hello I’m Sorry if this offends you, I’d like you to be my sugar baby just letting you know my intentions Dm if you’re interested...🥰🥰😍
WTFFFFF EVERYBODY GET THIS DUDE IM A MINOR..
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shoutout to my mom for projecting her insecurities about being fat making her unattractive onto us! we know youre wrong now but still have panic attacks when we remember we're heavier than we were when we were like ten :)
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EW. it gets worse and worse as we go, i love trying to force someone to tell me about their trauma to prove their systemhood! im sure this wont cause them even more trauma at all actually /sarc /nay
yeah it not good at all. Even tho we not RAMCOA we were shocked. Shaken even. Why would you just,,, rudely ask “are you RAMCOA… tell me or I’ll fake claim” (< paraphrased ) no one owes you their fuking trauma !! Trauma is personal !!! Trauma is something no one has to disclose !!!
#tw ableism#tw ableist language#tw trauma#tw ramcoa#cw ramcoa#< just in case#tw fakeclaiming#cw fakeclaiming#tagging for vamp
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Anon did we read the same book series
The only people I can agree on are Burnet and Silverspot, bc they were like. Literally actively being genocided so like yeah, but also no one hates on them ???
I can somewhat understand Secretkeeper, because her intentions were good, however that doesn't mean she never did anything ever to Moon, and that doesn't mean she was a good mother by a long shot
And Coral is just straight up abusive lmao
Coral is guilty of all of the following: not keeping track of, remembering, or knowing her sons' names, trying to marry off her underage children to a predatory, power hungry groomer, attempting to use her youngest child as a weapon of destruction in the war (while knowing that Animus magic has an affect on your soul), putting 2/3 of her daughters on leashes, being generally overbearing and stunting the emotional and social growth of her daughters, and locking several underage children up. If none of that is abuse then idk what is
Coral, Secretkeeper, and Burnet/Silverspot aren’t abusive mothers. Coral is simply overprotective, Secretkeeper also was overprotective, and the last two literally would be killed if they did something to protect their kids.
.
#tagging for vamp#tagging for dogz#<- discussions of child abuse with direct examples (fandom/book related but it still applies)#<- tagging just in case#mewo rambles :3
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Truly I wish that Helluva Boss was written by ANYONE but Vivsiepop, bc tbh this last episode was actually GOOD. I just genuinely wish we got an ACTUAL EPISODE for Millie.
Their friendship is so sweet, but I just wish Viv would make Millie an actual character instead of one-off mentions of her and her only serving to further the plot of the male characters. It rlly sucks to see bc again, Helluva is a concept I genuinely enjoy, I just don't think Viv understands how to make ANYTHING abt her female characters and it pisses me off.
#mewo rambles :3#also the fact that I KNOW she's going to make Stolas and Blitz the endgame and I'm absolutely not fucking happy about it.#tagging for vamp#<- helluva boss discussed (just in case)
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also genuinely frustrated that we’re so fucking underweight because it’s at a point where we don’t even really have enough weight to keep our body warm so we just feel miserable and cold all the time
#purp🪻#except in hot flushes#tagging for vamp#<-not sure if the whole underweight thing counts for this but just in case
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TO BRING YOU MY LOVE
star wars | kylo ren x reader | rated e | 9.4k
fem!reader, vampire!kylo, modern au, dracula inspired, dub con, predator/prey, kidnapping with restraints, derogatory language (not from kylo), guns, violence, blood and blood drinking, minor-character death, semi-public sex, historical inaccuracies
This fic fills multiple prompts (from sweet anons and the fabulous @thorfemmes) for vamp!Kylo, from his backstory to Reader affecting him to the possibility of Reader becoming a vampire. Thank you all for requesting! I hope you're still around. In case you need a refresher, the previous parts of Me and the Devil are here, here, here, here, and here. (Why don't tags work anymore? 😩) This fic can be read as a stand-alone, though! Title from "To Bring You My Love" by PJ Harvey.
“Biker gang? Pfft!” said your boss Vic in reply to a bar patron.
The agitated patron continued, describing a group of bikers led by a dark-haired man with a scar bisecting his face.
You suppressed a shudder as you mixed a simple cocktail. That sounded too familiar.
You’d begun working at Vic’s bar a few weeks ago. It was an easy job. Vic was gruff yet kind. They’d shown you around when they learned you’d just moved to the city. They even invited you home for dinner, where you’d met their sweet wife and dopey Pomeranian.
After a moment of contemplation, Vic said, “A scar…”
With a dismissive shake of their head and a frown, they poured the patron a double.
When all the patrons were distracted, Vic took you by the shoulder and steered you into the dim storeroom.
“If I’m right, and I hope to hell I’m not, that gang sounds like the Knights of Ren.” You stiffened at the name, but Vic didn’t appear to notice. “They haven’t been around here in years, but they’re dangerous. You keep your head down, got it?”
You nodded as if you didn’t know exactly who Vic was talking about.
“Why would they be back…?” Vic asked more to themselves than you. “Fuck if it matters. We’re closing early for the rest of the week. Ain’t no one living it up while they’re here.”
In a caring tone you hadn’t heard from anyone in months, they said, “Anyone hollers at you, you ignore them. Just keep walking, yeah?”
You nodded again, though you doubted ignoring catcalls would save you.
Vic walked you back to the bar and told you to polish the clean wine glasses.
With numb hands, you carefully buffed water spots from each glass and slid them in the rack above the bar.
The next evening, Vic’s wife called. She never called, so it must’ve been important. Vic rushed out with only an offer to return to help close. You’d assured them you could handle it.
Just as Vic predicted, there hadn’t been many patrons. One of the last — a regular — expressed his disgust for the way everyone was pussyfooting around at night. He didn’t think the sun was going to stop the Knights of Ren from striking.
Oh, little did he know…
As the regular swirled the last of his bourbon, he said, “If they’re out there, no lock’ll keep them out if they want in.”
You politely agreed with a hum. No lock could keep Kylo away.
You didn’t know how you’d make it to your place if the Knights of Ren really were out there.
“Thanks for listening, kiddo,” the regular said before knocking back the rest of his drink and standing. “You watch out, though, pretty thing like you.”
He left a generous tip.
Closing went quickly after that. You clicked off the neon signs in the window, wiped down the bar and tables, mopped the floor, and pushed in the chairs. After shuttering the bar’s front, you snapped the tarnished padlock closed as quietly as possible. It clunked against the latch just as something glinted at the corner of your vision.
The hairs at the back of your neck rose. Your heart leapt into your throat.
You bolted.
You didn’t dare look back. It would’ve only slowed you down. You didn’t want to see a flash of red eyes and black hair, either. That would’ve paralyzed you. And you needed to run. You needed to run as fast as your legs could carry you—
Though you knew you couldn’t win — not against someone like Kylo.
No. No, no, no.
You couldn’t think like that. You’d gotten away before. You’d do it again. It didn’t matter how he kept finding you.
With a pause, you scanned the unremarkable street. You were far from the bar now. You propped yourself with a palm against gritty breeze block. Your thighs ached and lungs burned, all the more obvious now that you’d stopped running. You panted, throat desert-dry and mouth sticky. Tilting your head back, you tried to catch your breath.
The inky sky was as empty as the streets.
And you didn’t know where you were anymore.
You bit your lip and silently berated yourself for not paying attention as you ran. It was especially foolish considering you hadn’t been in the city for long. Unfamiliar streets looked more so in the dark. Questions dropped from your mind to settle heavy in your gut.
Where could you go now?
Your place wasn’t safe.
Who could you ask for help?
You didn’t want to put anyone in danger. No one would help a stranger at this time of night, anyway. Especially not when the Knights of Ren had been seen prowling.
Did Kylo know you were here?
He had to have sensed you. Your blood called to him. It must be the reason they were here.
A soft shuffle behind you threw you into action. You dashed down the street, away from the noise, away from the Knights of Ren. Surroundings blurred. Streetlights punctuated the dark. Your ragged breathing drowned out all other sounds.
You turned right, then left, then another right.
Before long, you had to slow. Your legs nearly gave out. You felt like you were running in circles. Everything remained unfamiliar, yet a sense of déjà vu remained. That storefront looked similar to one a few blocks back. Same with the pile of leaking garbage bags at the curb.
Or were they new?
You skidded to a stop by an unlit alley and braced yourself with hands on your knees.
You were alone. Not even a rat skittered. You slumped against the nearest building. A bead of sweat trickled above your eyebrow.
Whispering a curse, you wiped it away and inhaled lungfuls of air.
“You made this game quite easy.”
You froze. That oh-so familiar voice came from the alley.
“It’s like you want me to catch you, sweetness.”
As if made from the misty shadows themselves, Kylo’s silhouette manifested at the edge of a cone of streetlight. He leaned a shoulder on the nearby wall, insouciant.
Fear, like jagged ice, kept you immobile. The connection you had with him yanked at your breastbone. You grappled with the lure of stepping closer.
“You must be exhausted.”
You staggered away, feet nearly tripping over each other in your haste. The cracked concrete went indistinct as you turned to sprint. Arms like iron wrapped around your middle and pulled you into the alley. You stiffened, though you knew better.
A victim was supposed to go limp. It made an attacker work harder.
You squirmed between stiff and limp, kicking your feet. You drew yourself up to scream. A huge hand — warm, he’d just fed — covered your mouth.
Your muffled cries fell on a deaf city.
He tutted. “None of that.”
You couldn’t stop. There was a chance to get away. If only you could loosen his hold. You clawed at the arm around your waist. No tugging or scratching earned you freedom.
Blood-scented breath ghosted over your neck. A nose nuzzled into your hair. Soft lips brushed the shell of your ear.
Kylo breathed, “I have missed you.”
You paused at his sincerity, eyes closing.
No, you couldn’t give in.
You pulled at the hand covering your mouth. When it didn’t move, you slapped it. He let his hand drift to your shoulder, but not before his fingertips caressed your lips. You wanted to spit the feeling off.
“Did you miss me?” he asked.
You hissed, “No,” and elbowed him in the ribs. “No.”
He tutted again. “You wound me,” he said, though he hardly sounded hurt.
He tucked his firm body against yours off-center and placed a tender kiss on your neck.
A shiver rolled through you, bringing with it memories of pleasure and promises.
“Stop it! Lemme go!”
“Back to that?” He sighed. “After all we’ve been through?”
Tears pricked your eyes.
“I don’t want to hurt you, my sweet.” His hand slid to your throat, making you stretch and inhale. “Yet every time you flee.” His grip tightened and voice hardened. “Every time you seek my wrath.” He canted your chin to expose your jugular. “And every time you lock horns with me, it’s others who get hurt.”
You’d caused someone to suffer. Or maybe die this time.
“Don’t fret. It was quick,” he said. “They didn’t have time to scream.”
Vic. That was what their wife’s call must’ve been about.
You squeezed your eyes shut. A delicate tear rolled into your ear.
You’d killed them. You hadn’t meant to choose them, but you had. By keeping their company, you’d sicced Kylo on them. You knew what he was capable of. You realized it years ago. He’d killed so many.
Your gut twisted.
Your voice cracked as you asked, “Why?” You shook your head as much as you were able. “I don’t— I never wanted—” You swallowed around a dry throat. “Fuck, why?”
Why me? Why do you want me? Why do you care? Why don’t you kill me already?
Kylo’s hold loosened. His hand traveled to splay across your upper chest.
“I want to give you everything. All of me.”
His hand disappeared, and two fingers guided your chin to the side. You complied and opened your eyes.
“Anything you want. Just stay by my side.”
You studied his dark pupils rimmed in red, seeing his hunger and ruthlessness and loneliness. None of that had been apparent when he’d barged into your life.
“Just give me your heart.”
“I don’t want—”
He cut off your protest with a kiss.
You hadn’t protested at the start. It felt good to be desired by a dreadful monster like him. He’d opened himself, answered every question.
He’d told you about his mortal life. His mother Leia Skywalker had been part of the dvoryanstvo — Russian nobility. She’d run away to the United Colonies, where she’d fallen in love with some reprobate. Being a proper lady, she’d married him, bedded him, and proceeded to get with child. Leia ran home when colonial life no longer suited her. She’d had her child — a son: him — during the crossing.
Since Leia was married, and Kylo not a bastard, they were welcomed at court. The reprobate soon followed. The tsarina found the Amidala-Skywalker and now -Solo clan quite the curiosity. The tsar enjoyed Solo’s hunting skills.
Kylo said he remembered standing with his grandmother and mother to watch the gilded debutantes being presented at court. His grandmother whispered innocent gossip to him between introductions. His mother appeared to ignore them, but she listened just the same.
On a snowy evening mid-season, Armitage Hux, a distant cousin of the tsar, returned from the west. Accompanying him was a peculiar Dr. Snoke. The tsarina was captivated by Dr. Snoke as though spellbound. She favored Dr. Snoke, going so far as to appoint him court physician.
Armitage took to strutting about every dinner and ball. He was obsessed with Dr. Snoke’s scientific experiments, discussing results in esoteric terms. He collected blood from the hares, foxes, and deer during hunting excursions. At first, Kylo assumed like everyone else it was for these experiments.
Then he found Armitage in Dr. Snoke’s laboratory with bloodstained lips, a beaker of fresh blood in his hand. In a frenzy, Armitage explained that blood wasn’t only a humor. It was the source of life.
You’d stopped him to ask why he’d been visiting Dr. Snoke’s lab. Kylo replied Dr. Snoke had wanted him to read a few books from his private collection. Dr. Snoke promised more knowledge than the tutors his mother hired. Naturally, Kylo had been intrigued.
Intrigued enough not to run from the laboratory.
Armitage showed Kylo a chart of his own making on the distillation of power — “a force connecting everything” — through the blood, from feeble insect to apex predator. Armitage was certain one could accumulate this power by devouring the essence of weaker creatures.
Kylo understood the logic, yet something about how Armitage explained it troubled him. With that reasoning, the most potent essence would be from their fellow man. That sounded taboo.
When he next saw Dr. Snoke, he mentioned Armitage’s alarming hypothesis. Displeasure flashed across Dr. Snoke’s face. Kylo thought he’d made a mistake by broaching the topic. However, Dr. Snoke explained he’d been putting off that lesson until Kylo had more scientific understanding.
In his arrogance, Kylo insisted he could grasp any lesson Dr. Snoke wished to teach.
He thought privately Armitage, who everyone knew to be a bastard, wouldn’t best him. It hardly mattered how many lies his father Brendol spouted. Brendol Hux hid some misfortune for the crown and used that fact to force his family upon the rest of the court.
Dr. Snoke promised Kylo wisdom beyond anything he’d been exposed to thus far. He asked when, and Dr. Snoke offered him an apprenticeship. Dr. Snoke would be journeying west once more in the spring. Kylo could join him.
His mother forbade it. She attempted to lure him into staying by introducing him to any debutante who would indulge her. She bargained. She cajoled. She bribed. When she remained unsuccessful, she turned their whole family against him. Their objections were all they’d discuss with him.
Towards the end of March, the ice broke on the river, and the snow started to melt. He left his family home in the small hours of the night. He met Dr. Snoke and Armitage at the harbor and boarded a ship headed for France.
At every port along the way, Dr. Snoke disappeared while Kylo and Armitage dined. He asked Armitage if he knew where Dr. Snoke went, but Armitage lied when he said he didn’t. Apprehension kept Kylo from asking Dr. Snoke directly.
Kylo said he realized much later he had asked Snoke, but Snoke made him forget.
In Gothenburg, he gathered the courage to follow Dr. Snoke. He feigned a sour stomach to avoid dinner. The sun had just fallen below the horizon. Townspeople lit their outdoor lanterns. None appeared to notice Dr. Snoke trekking through the streets, which seemed improbable since the doctor was exceptionally tall and dressed in foreign garb.
Dr. Snoke turned down a side street as if he were familiar with the city. Kylo waited at the corner to observe Dr. Snoke halt at an open gate. Dr. Snoke’s demeanor went from innocent visitor to ravening fiend in the blink of an eye. His shoulders hunched. His hands became claws. His shaved head suddenly reminded Kylo of a vulture.
Dr. Snoke darted through the gate. Kylo expected to hear the scuffling of feet or a scream, but there was only silence.
Kylo ran to the gate to find no one. He turned first to where he’d come from, then down the street. Both sides were deserted. He didn’t understand. No one simply disappeared.
He took a step forward to investigate. The lifeless body of a girl hit the stones before he could take another. Her dark braids wreathed the splatter of gore. Her joints bent at wrong angles. He stumbled backwards, heel catching. Strong hands caught his shoulders and spun him.
He found himself staring into the red, hypnotic eyes of Dr. Snoke.
“I see you couldn’t stay on the ship,” said Dr. Snoke, who tilted his head like a great hunting cat.
Kylo saw his fangs for the first time.
“And now you wonder if Armitage has known all along.”
Which was true.
“He has,” Dr. Snoke said, sliding his hands to Kylo’s neck and turning down the collar of his overcoat. “So, tell me, are you in danger?”
Tears welled in Kylo’s eyes as he whispered, “I’ve always been in danger.”
“Too right.”
Dr. Snoke struck then. His sharp teeth pierced Kylo’s jugular and drank deep. Kylo felt the sinful pull in his groin. Despite that, he shoved at Dr. Snoke’s chest. It was as though he’d lost his strength. He felt like a pup taking on a bear.
He opened his mouth to protest, though no sound came.
Dr. Snoke held him tight, pressed him to the nearest brick wall, and ground between his legs. Kylo’s gorge rose, but his body didn’t have the strength to heave.
He knew he was dying. Dr. Snoke was killing him. Dr. Snoke would use him until there’d be no more. A spark of anger flared in his gut. He balled his hands into fists and struck Dr. Snoke. His furious heart hammered behind his ribs. This wasn’t supposed to be his death. He wouldn’t end here.
He croaked broken words, groaning at the effort.
Dr. Snoke withdrew with a chuckle, blood trickling down his chin.
“Such resolve! Such strength!” He grasped Kylo’s chin. “You think you have the stamina, Young Solo?”
This was what Armitage had spoken of. There was power in the blood. Dr. Snoke had discovered a way to harness it. He had kept the truth behind Armitage’s collecting blood and his own scientific experiments hidden. They’d lied to him.
Kylo snarled.
Lovingly, Dr. Snoke said, “Beautiful beast,” and smiled, bloody teeth flashing.
Dr. Snoke unsheathed his blade and slit his own wrist. Blood, dark like a desiccated rose, oozed from the cut. The scent of it familiar and ancient.
He watched his hands bring the wound to his mouth. Blood smeared over his bottom lip and poured into his mouth like scalding rain. He dissolved into unknown pleasure, torn apart as if ravaged. He was destroyed and built anew with Dr. Snoke’s blood.
He experienced everything at that moment: the metal taste on his tongue, the hint of spring in the air, the way their hearts synchronized for a second, the emptiness of his veins, the magic in the blood permeating every fiber of his being.
It happened so quickly it was dizzying. It was a taste, then a fact.
The infinite stretched out before him, all possibilities spread like the fan of playing cards on a table.
He’d told you Dr. Snoke became simply Snoke and Armitage had been satisfied as an unaging thrall. When you’d asked what happened to Snoke and Armitage, Kylo replied he didn’t know. He’d escaped Snoke’s clutches decades earlier.
He’d said how grateful he was to have found you: a comfort like he’d never known. His eyes had been so warm.
Yet his eyes weren’t warm when he’d caught you.
You pushed at him, but Kylo’s grip was unyielding. Your protests only inspired him to strengthen his hold. He gripped your jaw to open your mouth. You mewled as he teased your tongue with his own. It knocked the breath from your lungs, as it always did.
The hard length of his cock against your hip made you shiver. Maybe shudder. You wanted him, yet you shouldn’t. He was terrifying, yet putty in your hands. He was a killer, yet wanted to be your weapon.
Gentle fingers crawled under the loose hem of your shirt, brushing the skin above your waistband. His arm tensed. He was going to tear you open, claw at your tender belly.
You thrashed to get away before he could.
Kylo broke the kiss and tightened his hold on your jaw.
“Stop this, or I’ll give you a fucking you can’t walk away from.”
Your breath seized. He meant— He wouldn’t— Oh God, yes, he would. He would force his cock in your ass and drink your blood until you passed out. While he’d never done that to you, he’d done it to one of Armitage’s lackeys. He’d said it was for a transgression.
You’d gone beyond a simple transgression. You’d been running from Kylo for over two years.
“Kylo, please,” you said as your vision blurred with tears. “Please, just let me go.”
You knew he wouldn’t.
He pulled away.
You teetered from a lack of support and weakened legs. He caught your upper arm and shoved you against the wall. You braced yourself on bent arms. The bricks’ texture caught at your shirt and palms. The scent of wet stone and musty mildew invaded your nose.
He cradled your hips and asked, “Let you go…?”
His lips caressed your neck, dragging up your skin. You wanted to flinch from his touch, but he moved down until his forehead rested on your shoulder.
“How many times must we go through this? This game of cat-and-mouse?”
A hand slid up your side and rounded your ribs to cup a breast. You closed your eyes as a frisson of pleasure had your nipple tightening.
“How many people must I go through for you to see we can’t be separated?”
He squeezed your breast just this side of too harsh. You bit your lip. His other hand wended around your waist.
“How many times do I need to fuck you for that to sink in, hm? Surely by now you understand your place.”
He released your breast to tug at the button of your jeans.
Your eyes flew open as you pushed at his hand.
“Kylo, no.”
“Yes,” he hissed. “You need to accept it.”
He undid your jeans and spread the fly.
You realized you’d been a fool to think you could get away. You’d been a fool to believe he wasn’t still Snoke’s, that your love alone would change his heart.
You batted at his forearms, then gripped his wrists. He didn’t budge at your scrabbling hands. He barely reacted to them. Instead, he brushed his lips against the side of your neck.
You stiffened, anticipating the bite of fangs.
“I can’t, I can’t— Kylo, I don’t— I never wanted—”
You’d only wanted the person behind the monster.
It was a tragedy they were one and the same.
Kylo stilled, his lips a scant centimeter from your skin.
You stilled. Your words had been a mistake. Just like leaving him behind had been a mistake. And the most egregious mistake: getting involved with him in the first place.
Despite that being true, Kylo was correct about never wanting to hurt you. He never had. He could and had hurt others, but never you. He’d bitten you, drank your blood, gripped your hips hard when he took you.
But he didn’t hurt you.
In fact, he made you feel good. He made you writhe and moan with blinding, white-hot pleasure. Your mind went blank when he thrust his thick, monstrous cock into you. That might be worse than any fist or fang. Pain you could get over, but pleasure not as easily.
He whispered, “I think you need a reminder of where you belong, sweetness.”
Those words reverberated you into the past. That night had been like this one: quiet, starless, and calm. Until it wasn’t.
The world had tilted on its axis when someone threw you into an SUV while you’d been checking your mailbox after work. Terror choked off your screams before they even gagged you. Rope looped around your wrists and ankles tight enough to bruise.
A long-fingered hand seized your chin and made you meet blue eyes as the vehicle started moving. The man would’ve been handsome with his angular face and long ginger hair if not for the contemptuous sneer marring his full lips. His gray suit was Savile Row crisp, and his black Chelsea boots gleamed in the overhead light.
“Ren’s precious little blood-whore,” he spat and threw your head to the side, where it bounced against the back of the bench seat.
“You sure about this?” the driver asked.
“He will capitulate for this one. Snoke foresaw it.”
At the name “Snoke,” you wiggled away until your back hit the door. Your kidnapper appeared bored and pulled a pistol from his jacket. He braced his arm between the seat and his chest to aim at your face.
You looked from the steady pistol to his face and back again.
“Listen well, you stupid slut,” he said. “You are in no position to escape. You chose this the moment you let that fool into your life.”
You wanted to protest that you hadn’t let Kylo into your life. He’d slithered in on his own.
A tiny voice replied, And you let him stay.
You had. You’d done nothing to stop him, even after it was apparent what a monster Kylo could be.
You’d curled into the corner to stare out the SUV’s tinted windows. They’d tied the knots at the back of your hands, so you couldn’t reach them. You certainly wouldn’t dare bring them to your mouth to work them open with your teeth.
When the SUV stopped, they manhandled you through an abandoned convenience store. In the stockroom, a bald man sat at a bare card table. Scars like melted wax trailed down one side of his face. He wore a gold smoking jacket, loose slacks, and velvet loafers. You nearly laughed. He looked like a Hugh Hefner cosplayer. The only thing missing was a white captain’s hat.
A hand on your shoulder forced you to sit in the folding chair across from him. When you met the bald man’s eyes, any witty remark died in your mouth. His gaze was too intense, too stern, too disapproving — and too ancient.
This was Snoke.
The gag fell from your face.
“You saw Kylo Ren yesternight, did you not?” he asked mildly.
His voice rumbled like strange thunder. He breathed in as if he could taste you on the air, like a snake senses prey.
Despite your mouth being freed, you could only bob your head.
“Yes, of course. Quite understandable now why it’s so difficult for him.” Snoke’s expression turned forgiving as he leaned over his crossed legs. “You are quite the delectable temptation.”
Your gut twisted and toes curled in your shoes at the compliment. You didn’t want to be a temptation for Snoke, nor did you want him sampling any part of you.
Crashing chaos erupted from the storefront. People screamed. Cracked steel and shattered glass exploded through the open door.
You launched yourself to the cold concrete floor, bringing your bound wrists to your mouth. The metallic pop-pop-pop of gunfire snapped overhead. You bit at the first knot and pulled. Hot bullet casings clanked nearby. The knot gave way to the next. You wrenched the next one loose, then shook your hands until the rope slipped from your wrists.
A tide of black vapor surged into the storeroom. It blinded you, but it didn’t stop you from groping for your restrained ankles. The rope there made no sense. You couldn’t find the knots.
Come on! you yelled at yourself, finding the knots. Come on!
You twisted and gritted your teeth and almost cried when you couldn’t undo them.
Light returned to the room as the vapor converged into a figure with broad shoulders and long legs. Unmistakably Kylo. It was the first time you’d remembered seeing him do something like that.
However, you couldn’t focus on him. He was fine. On the other hand, you had to free yourself and escape.
Black boots planted themselves on the floor, spread hip-width apart. Yards beyond them lay the lifeless body of your kidnapper, his head rotated at an unnatural angle. That lovely ginger hair veiled his closed eyes.
You pulled your gaze away to untie the knots.
“Ah, Kylo Ren,” Snoke said warmly. “Thank you for honoring my summons for once.”
Kylo replied with a tight, “Master.”
As quietly as you could, you pulled the knots loose and unwrapped your ankles. Snoke and Kylo had to have known you were still alive, but you didn’t want Snoke directing his attention to you. Nor did you want to distract Kylo.
Snoke’s voice sounded as though he had multiple voice boxes when he ordered, “Come. Kneel.”
Kylo staggered to Snoke and dropped to his knees.
Your mouth went dry. Your heart beat double-time. You were about to witness Kylo’s death. Snoke would take his head and drain you dry. Or worse: make Kylo kill you.
You couldn’t let either of them do that. You wouldn’t allow Snoke to torture him like that. Not like this. Not ever.
Even if it meant not being with Kylo again.
You eased to your knees and crept around your chair. Kylo’s back was to you, but Snoke faced the door. There was no way to leave without Snoke seeing.
“Where are you going, myshonok?” Snoke asked.
You went rigid, one knee hovering above the floor.
“Join me at the table.”
If you sat, what horrors would you witness? What would he make you do? How angry was he?
“Sit.”
“No,” Kylo ordered. “Ru—”
Snoke silenced him with a blow.
Kylo’s head jerked back, blood arcing from his face.
You gasped, already on your knees.
“I said,” Snoke repeated. “Sit.”
You were in the chair before you made the decision to stand. Your brain filled in the gaps: you stood, took the necessary steps to come around the chair, and sat.
“Stay. Be quiet.”
You glanced at Kylo. Blood bisected his cheek and tracked to his forehead. You waited for the cut to heal, but it didn’t. It just bled.
That didn’t make sense.
“Kylo Ren, I’ll give you a choice — like I do in all things,” Snoke said lightly, as if he hadn’t just wounded his progeny. “You can erase your presence from her mind, you can kill her, or you can turn her.”
“No, Master, don’t—”
“You’ve forced my hand in this matter. She knows too much.”
Kylo was quiet for a moment, then:
“If I take her memory, you’ll leave her in peace.”
“Her, yes.”
You mentally screamed for him to refuse. Snoke agreed to you being left alone, but not Kylo. You couldn’t allow Snoke to take him from you.
You willed through Snoke’s hold to say, “Turn me, Kylo, change me. Just don’t go, don’t let him—”
Snoke said, “You belong to him. It’s not your decision.”
The hell it wasn’t.
You wanted to race for the street, get away from them both, yet your feet wouldn’t obey. You gripped the seat of your chair hard enough your fingers went numb.
To Kylo, he said, “Do it.”
You shook your head as Kylo shuffled closer.
Please don’t do this. Please snap out of it. Please, please, please…
A single metallic pop rang through the storeroom. Kylo cried out, gripping his shoulder, and toppled against the table. Another pop. Snoke’s expression went from smug to shocked. Blood burst from his chest.
Snoke’s hold disappeared.
Kylo yelled, “Go! Run!”
You threw yourself out of the chair and sprinted through the store. Broken bodies, warped metal shelves, and shards of glass littered the floor. You sidestepped and leapt over each obstacle, not allowing your gaze to linger on any of it.
“Kylo!” Snoke bellowed and continued in a language you didn’t understand.
You couldn’t leave Kylo back there, though, bleeding and at the mercy of his maker.
Kylo yelled for you to go again.
You ran out of the convenience store and never looked back.
And you never stopped running.
Because nowhere was safe — not with Snoke out there and Kylo potentially under his control.
Kylo now sucked harshly at your neck, claiming you. Your thighs trembled as a big hand snaked inside your underwear to caress your belly. You couldn’t help but arch into his touch.
“Spread those legs for me.” He gripped the curve of your belly, fingers teasing your pubic hair. “I’ll remind you of your place.”
He cupped your mound. Two fingers dipped into your slit. It was mortifying to feel yourself slick.
He chuckled low in his chest.
“You’re going to moan for me.”
You shook your head and hid your face. You didn’t want him to see how you bit your lip to stifle your voice.
He pushed two thick fingers inside your cunt, filling and stretching. You gasped. It had been too long. He murmured soothing words against your neck while he massaged you from the inside. His palm pressed against your clit.
You tried not to move, to quiver, to make a sound. You told yourself it shouldn’t feel so good. You should push him away and run.
His other hand slid up your torso to cup one of your breasts. This time, he was gentle. The fingers inside you pumped slowly while he massaged your breast and teased the nipple. You were caressed, from the full lips nuzzling at your neck to the patient hand between your legs.
Kylo knew your body too well, and you hadn’t experienced his touch in so long. It haunted your lonely hours. Your own touch hardly compared.
“You’ll whimper my name and ask for more.”
He scissored his fingers to stretch your needy cunt.
You nearly asked him for more right there, but he continued:
“And you’ll come on my cock when I give it to you, won’t you?”
You jerked in his hold. He answered by pushing forward to grind the mound of his erection against your ass. He dragged the tips of his fangs over your skin, nipped at the sore spot he’d already sucked there, before placing the softest kiss.
“Exactly like you always do, my sweet.”
He pulled his hand from between your legs.
You opened your mouth to protest. He moved quicker than any human to turn your head, fingers wet with your juices, and silenced you with a kiss. His tongue swiped across yours, warm and exhilarating. You returned the kiss and tunneled your fingers into his thick hair, brushing the subtle point of his ear. He plunged his hand into the front of your underwear again.
Unerringly, he found your clit and swirled hypnotic circles around it. Your pussy became wetter by the second, easing the glide of his fingers.
Against your parted lips, he said, “That’s how it’ll always be.”
But you weren’t Kylo’s blood-whore. Your kidnapper had been wrong. They all were wrong about you.
Kylo kissed you, claiming and deep and wrong and so filthy, you couldn’t mute a moan. He found a rhythm on your clit that made your cunt flutter and breath catch. You fisted his hair as you panted between sharp kisses.
You wanted to cover yourself and hide when his lips curled in a knowing grin.
You tore your mouth from his.
“Stop,” you said, though it didn’t sound convincing even to your own ears.
He ignored you, his clever fingers sending sparks of pleasure down your spine.
“I don’t… I can’t—” You clenched your jaw as your thighs quaked and muscles tensed. You were so close, orgasm building. “Kylo, I— I’m…”
He slipped his hand from your underwear, leaving you desperate for relief. Your cunt weakly pulsed as your orgasm died. You panted and let your forehead fall against the damp wall. Your combined shadows stained the concrete.
Kylo held your heaving ribs. He trailed delicate kisses along your nape. It was at once a connection and a reminder he could tear your spine out.
Wet fingers traced your bottom lip. You smelled the tang of your own arousal and clenched your teeth.
Kylo nosed at your ear to whisper, “I want to taste you on your tongue.”
You’d done that for him countless times. It drove him mad. He’d suck your flavor off your tongue while moaning and grinding his hips. He’d hold you tight while growling praises in your ear and working his big cock deep inside.
You shook your head and squeezed your eyes closed, despite knowing you’d ultimately lose this war. The only thing you could do was oppose his every pleasure in this last battle.
“Why are you still fighting me, sweetness?” he asked.
Your breath went uneven and your chest trembled.
You didn’t want to say it, didn’t want to tell him, didn’t want to fight him—
But Snoke.
Snoke was out there. He’d force Kylo to ruin what you two had.
The thought made tears flood your eyes and stream down your cheeks. When you sobbed, Kylo pushed two fingers between your teeth and pried open your jaw. You didn’t have to see it to sense his heated gaze. Kylo always — always — watched you.
The taste of salt and blood and musk coated your mouth. You refused to participate, remaining still as his fingers explored your tongue. Every measured stroke of his fingers tantalized — and aroused — no matter how much you denied it.
He withdrew his fingers and asked, “Why are you fighting me?”
“Please, don’t…”
“Don’t what?”
“Don’t take me back to Snoke.”
Kylo nuzzled your cheek and shushed you. He kissed away your tears as slick digits smeared against your lips.
Your breath shuddered around a powerful unease expanding in your gut. You’d been foolish to think you’d get away. This was only delaying the inevitable. Kylo was toying with you. No doubt he had every intention of dragging you in front of Snoke where they’d decide your fate.
You were Kylo’s, and Kylo was Snoke’s. It was in the blood. Not even bleeding yourself dry would grant you a reprieve. The connection you had with Kylo wouldn’t fade, even with death.
“I can’t take you back to Snoke.”
“What? He’ll hunt—”
“No, he won’t.”
You half-turned to look into Kylo’s dark eyes and found him undaunted.
“I don’t understand.”
“I’m Master now.”
His eyes flared red, brighter than before.
You shook your head. What had happened in the time you’d been gone? Why hadn’t he told you from the start? Why had he hurt everyone around you?
“His power resides in me alone,” Kylo said. “And now I’ve come to claim what’s mine.”
Not giving you time to form a question or voice it, he put his hand around your throat and crashed his lips against yours. Flesh ground against bone. His fingertips bruised. You were the meat to his butcher.
He groaned after a moment, as though relishing the near violence.
“Open.”
This time, you did.
He kissed you tenderly, sucking on your swollen bottom lip. His fangs grazed your skin. He flicked your tongue with his. You shivered at the silken touch of his preternatural tongue.
He made a satisfied sound deep in his chest at the taste of your arousal.
“Where is your place in this, sweetness?”
You blinked through the haze in your mind. You couldn’t form a reply.
“I…”
With a merciful shush, he turned you to face away. You placed your palms on the dirty wall. His hands caressed your sides until his thumbs hooked in the waistband of your underwear.
He couldn’t— Not here—
The haze fractured.
“No, Kylo, we can’t!”
He pressed you hard against the wall and put a hand across your mouth. Your underwear and jeans continued to slip down your hips.
“We can. I own the night and everything in it.”
Which included you.
Your lower body followed his as he straightened until your back was a perfect arch. The clammy air whispered between your legs, cooled your inner thighs. He kicked your feet farther apart.
Your eyes widen. He was going to take you like this, for anyone to see.
Your breath hitched at the press of his fingers at your soaked hole. He teased with swirling touches. You tried to keep your hips still, because moving was agreeing. It was acquiescing.
Kylo slid two fingers inside. Your cunt clenched around the intrusion. He purred and encouraged you to rest your head on his shoulder. He pushed deeper, slowly cycling his fingers. You rotated your knees inward, though you couldn’t fathom how your legs kept you upright.
His fingers retreated and pressed in, languid and thorough, as if trying to touch every part of your cunt. You turned your head to lean your forehead on his jaw.
He braced himself with a hand on the wall. You touched the back of his hand with shaking fingers. The fingers inside you sped.
You gasped, then bit the inside of your cheek.
“It’s been too long, hasn’t it?” he asked. “Your sweet little pussy isn’t used to this.”
You bit harder. You could only focus on his fingers fucking you open. He twisted his hand until his knuckles rubbed over your g-spot. You squirmed and swallowed a whimper.
“Let go, let me hear you. It’s just me and you here.”
“Ky-Kylo, please! Don’t— I can’t…”
“Yes, you can.”
A third finger eased inside to stretch you even more. Bolts of hot pleasure had you losing your breath. His fingers moved in measured thrusts, over and over. You clung to the wall as your knees almost buckled.
Then he pulled away. You twitched back to follow him or encourage him to continue. Full lips brushed your temple. His big hands took hold of your hips and raised you onto your toes.
“Just like that.”
Your heart leapt into your throat. He was going to take you here. If you tried to flee, he’d catch you within two strides.
Did you want to flee, though?
His touch left your body, giving you the opportunity. The metallic sound of his zipper opening held you in place. It had been too long. The weight of your connection to Kylo fixed you to the spot.
Heat smeared across your inner thigh. Knuckles brushed the underside of your ass. Then the thick tip of his cock parted your folds. You arched your back further, knowing what was coming.
Yet it didn’t come.
Kylo kept sliding his cock in your slit. He teased your stretched hole and the exposed bud of your clit. He did it until you rocked with him.
“Your place has always been in my bed.” He pressed his hard chest to your back. “Will always be. Beside me. With me.”
Your vision swam. The bricks blurred.
“Don’t ever forget it.”
A voluptuous pressure at your entrance made your eyes go wide. Hot tears spilled over your cheeks. You didn’t know how to respond, though you’d never forget his words.
Without warning, Kylo snapped his hips to impale you halfway down his cock. Beyond your control, a choked animal noise left your chest to resound through the empty alley. The bricks’ rough texture scraped your forearms and palms. Your body contracted around the heavy intrusion splitting you open.
Lips flitted along the juncture of your neck and shoulder.
“Just like this,” he murmured against your skin.
You groaned his name.
Kylo tensed and latched his hands to your hips and surged forward. He buried his cock completely in your pulsing cunt, pelvis tight to your ass.
You threw your head back with a piercing gasp.
He growled like the predator he was.
It was too much. It was like the first time with him. Every nodule on his cock woke nerves long asleep. You panted and shimmied and squirmed as your body acclimated. Each minute movement only added to your growing anticipation.
He gritted out, “Just like this — wrapped around my dick.”
He drew back. You protested with a small noise. He drove forward to start a brutal pace that had your vision narrowing and the edges darkening.
“Filled with my come.”
You trembled with every thrust. Your cunt got impossibly wetter with his words. He must’ve known, must’ve felt how they made you clench. Just like you knew your body — and heart — would accept him.
It had never hurt, and a part of you hated that. You hated how your body obeyed Kylo’s command. You hated how natural it was to kiss him, how easy your lips slotted with his. You hated how he fit so sublimely in you.
It was like you’d been made for him.
He angled his thrusts, somehow hitting even deeper, stroking every sensitive spot between your legs. The hands on your hips tightened as he pounded into you harder.
You moaned and pushed back. He hissed a “yes” and found that perfect rhythm. Your head spun. You clawed at the bricks while he continued an unrelenting assault.
You swallowed gasps and cut off another moan. One of his hands swooped to your jaw, tilting it up, stretching your neck.
“Don’t hide from me. Ever.”
Your breath caught.
“No, promise.”
His voice was black silk when he said, “Taking it so well. Such a good girl.”
You almost replied you wanted to be good for him. Only him.
He must’ve sensed it, because he stopped.
“No, don’t,” you said.
“Tell me. Tell me you feel it, too. Tell me.”
Tell me tell me tell me…
“I do! I feel it!” You shook your head as much as he’d let you. “Please, don’t— Please, I… I want to be good for you!”
Kylo groaned and tucked his face into your shoulder. His cock throbbed. He was going to bite you now. You knew it, could feel it.
His front teeth jabbed into your shoulder through your shirt. His fangs were so close. You hadn’t felt the sting and pull from his bite in so long.
You writhed in what you hated to admit was anticipation. At the same time, you mentally begged him to do it. Put you out of your misery. End the chase, the uncertainty, the killings. End you, if that was the culmination of this war.
He cursed and wrenched the collar of your shirt away. Stitches popped. Fangs pierced the juncture of your neck — a momentary pain. Hot suction followed, connecting your neck to your dripping, aching cunt. It gilded the coiling, molten pleasure building in your core.
He released your hip and plunged his hand between your legs. You bucked your lower body at the touch, torn between his hand and inhuman cock.
Then he began to thrust. He stroked your clit and sucked at your neck. You felt every mouthful of blood drawn from your veins, every slick-slide of his fingers on your clit, every harsh pump of his cock.
He worked your body, even as your muscles locked. You couldn’t move, couldn’t think. The tension and pressure built until you thought you’d explode with it.
But you didn’t.
You shook with each punishing thrust as he fucked you into a devastating orgasm. It burned through you like liquid fire. Wave after wave pulled you into its surge. Your mouth fell open with a silent scream. You couldn’t breathe. Heavy tears streamed down the outside of your face.
Kylo put a hand on your belly, smearing your come on your skin. His cock pistoned faster in your clenching cunt. He released your neck with a snarl. Warmth trickled over your collarbone.
“Kylo,” you mouthed.
He exhaled against your neck, breath tinged with iron.
“Plea—” Your voice broke. “Please, Kylo…”
“Please what?”
His soft tongue slithered over the tender puncture wounds.
Please, no more, you wanted to say. Please, don’t stop.
“Just… Please—”
Please take it all away.
He growled and snapped his hips forward. His pelvis slapped against your ass brutally — once, twice, three times. He buried his cock as deep as it would go before moaning. His cock pulsed. His come gushed, thick like honey, and filled you to overflowing. The warmth of it oozed down your thighs.
It was still for a brittle-edged moment.
Kylo placed his lips on your neck in a lewd mockery of a kiss. His breath puffed across your skin, as if his heart beat like a hammer. As if he had a heart.
You whispered, “Why do you keep hunting me?”
He wrapped his arms around your middle.
“Don’t you remember me saying I’d never let you go?”
Of course you did. However, people say that kind of thing in the throes of passion all the time. You assumed Kylo, despite being a vampire, was no different.
He said, “I call you my sweetness because you’re mine.”
His hands skimmed to your waist and steadied you as he eased his softening cock from your body. Your legs gave out, but he kept you from collapsing. You grabbed the bricks to catch yourself and leaned heavily on the wall, tilting out of Kylo’s hold.
Now that the sex was done, you yanked your underwear and jeans up over your hips. His syrupy come squished in your underwear and clung to the inside of your jeans. You cringed at the swampy feeling and the fact you’d let Kylo fuck you where anyone — everyone — could see.
The Knights of Ren couldn’t be far. They’d probably heard everything. Hell, they might’ve even watched.
You refastened your jeans and propped yourself against the wall in an attempt to muster a little dignity. It didn’t matter what stained your clothes now. They were already dirty with stress-sweat, come, and blood. Whatever garbage juice was splattered in the alley couldn’t make them grosser.
Kylo stood composed and less than a yard away, watching you. Always watching.
You resisted the urge to go to him and bask in his touch — the way he’d smooth your hair and cup your cheek. Like you were a beloved pet.
He’d made you his blood-whore.
The bite on your neck throbbed.
“I said I’m here to claim what’s mine. That still stands.”
You inhaled a stuttering breath and stared at his scuffed motorcycle boots.
“Snoke nearly took you from me,” he said. “You, who I want beside me every night.”
“But not forever.”
You were mortal. You would die. Time would end things, even if Snoke couldn’t anymore.
“Not forever if you keep running.”
You looked into his eyes that were the beautiful warm brown you adored. They went red. Your heart sped. They looked too much like Snoke’s.
“Stop running from me, sweetness.”
You blinked at the reverberating command. Your feet planted themselves to the concrete. You’d been running from Snoke, not Kylo. If Kylo told the truth, and Snoke really was dead, there was no point in running. You didn’t need to be apart from Kylo.
“You are everything good in my existence,” he said. “I refuse to be separated from you any longer.” He slashed at the air. “I won’t allow anyone to stand in my way.”
Not even you.
He’d made sure of that, too. Everyone you’d become friendly with in your mad dash from anyone vampiric had been killed. It’d been your fault. You’d acted like a spooked rabbit, running from burrow to burrow — and condemning every soul along the way.
He took a half-step closer.
“Am I not yours?”
“If you were mine, you’d know not to hurt people who’ve helped me.”
“Helped you?” He tilted his head with a huff. “Helped you? They allowed you to live in squalor.”
You let out a scornful laugh and crossed your arms over your chest.
Living in pre-furnished studio apartments or clean hostels wasn’t what you’d call squalor. It wasn’t a gothic castle overlooking a forested valley, either. Then again, no one you’d worked with lived in better conditions. Not even Vic, who only had a cozy one-bedroom.
Kylo held out a hand.
“Come with me. Let me give you what you deserve.”
You glanced at his broad palm and long, sturdy fingers. There was a time when those hands cradled you and loved you. There was a time when you didn’t know what they looked like covered in blood.
“I deserve peace,” you said.
“I can give you peace and safety. I’ll give you anything you want.”
You read between his lines. He’d give you anything as long as you stayed with him. If you explored the world on your own, you’d be exposed — as would he. You’d always be a weak point to exploit. You’d always be vulnerable. Snoke had figured that out.
You uncrossed your arms and looked into his eyes. Red encircled his irises, as though his vampire nature had been eclipsed.
“Give me your blood. Make me strong like you. Make me a vampire.”
He reared back as if you’d swiped at him. Astonishment painted his features.
“You want me to be your sire?”
“You want me beside you every night, don’t you?”
He breathed, “You love me.”
“Do you love me?”
He wet his bottom lip — such a human gesture — while his gaze darted to the side.
“I shouldn’t. It is a hindrance.” His dark eyes were like pools of deep water when they met yours. “You’ve seen what my kind do to each other.”
He indicated the scar going up his cheek. Snoke had missed ruining Kylo’s eye by millimeters.
You nodded and moved closer to touch the scar. It was a smooth, narrow groove in his blood-warmed flesh.
If Snoke had struck you like he’d stuck Kylo, it would’ve destroyed your jaw and cheekbone. You would’ve had implants and surgeries and weeks of speech therapy.
“I shouldn’t,” he repeated, and pressed your hand to his cheek.
“Neither should I.”
Not after all he’d done.
You’d hated him. You’d feared him. You thought about him every single day. You’d imagined different scenarios, from fighting him to falling at his feet to staking his heart.
He placed his other hand on your hip.
“No, you shouldn’t.”
You’d downplayed your feelings before Snoke had taken you. You’d told yourself you were satisfied with Kylo visiting a few nights every week. You had your freedom and privacy, a decent job and apartment, and a vampire lover. What more could you need?
Kylo lived in a different world, one he didn’t allow you to play tourist in. He’d said he wanted you to live a normal life. He wanted you happy and safe. At your insistence you were safe — and perfectly happy! — he exploded from the sofa where you two had been lounging. He’d flipped the coffee table and yelled you couldn’t possibly be either.
You’d ordered him out, telling him to leave and not come back until he wanted to behave. You hadn’t wanted to look at him right then. He’d rounded on you with a snarl, fangs flashing.
Then he’d been on you, kissing you, devouring you, tasting every inch of your body. He held you down and fucked you: on your knees, on your back, on the sofa, on the floor, on the upended coffee table, on your bed. You’d climaxed over and over again. He hadn’t stopped until dawn forced him to ground. You’d called in sick to work and sat in an epsom-salt bath for nearly an hour.
“I can’t leave this existence,” he now said. “I can’t leave you, either.”
“Then don’t.”
He shuffled you to the wall, his touch gentle. He always returned loving and tender, with sweet words and sweeter caresses.
“I’ll never let you go. I can’t.”
He grazed his fingertips across the clotting wound at your neck. You closed your eyes with a sigh. It should’ve stung, yet all you felt was him. He repositioned your hand from his cheek to his muscled shoulder. You slid your palm under the weight of his hair to hold his nape.
“Then don’t.”
You stared into his eyes, watching as red bloomed across his irises. It didn’t startle you any longer. The white of his delicate-tipped fangs gleamed. You drew him towards the wound and tilted your head back.
He made a desperate, hungry sound and wrapped you in his arms, supporting your head. You relaxed into his hold. Your breath shallowed.
This was the end. The end of running, of being scared, of the war you never wanted in the first place.
A faint star glimmered overhead — the lone witness to the ceasefire.
Kylo struck. He bit deeper than he ever had before. You gasped and clung to him as he drank the first mouthful. Your blood gushed with every beat of your heart.
Your feet left the ground. The night spun in a cacophony of dingy brick, velvet sky, and sodium lights. It spun and spun into a soft blur where nothing touched you and you touched nothing. Not even Kylo.
Liquid metal poured into your mouth, raging and carnal and animalistic. You swallowed. It was like swallowing a hot sea, like drowning. There was so much, too much. Energy filled you and flowed through you until you crashed against Kylo.
You opened your eyes and saw him as though it was the first time. You cradled his stunning face in your hands, his skin so new and electric. His eyes held all the warmth in the universe — its heat death quite improbable while he existed.
“I’m never letting you go,” you said, and kissed him.
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