#tagging aro because maybe someone else will see this who also has the same problem LMAO

[fakecats]

so like do allo people question if theyre aro every month

[bellatrixobsessed1]

Confession Time

TW: For talks of mental illness as well as a mention of suicide.

This has actually been on my mind for quite a while but I was worried about how it would be taken. However this has actually come up several times in the Azula tag now so I might as well talk about it. And before I get to the point I just want to say that I’m very much open to respectful discussion. Please don’t rip me apart over this. 

So here we go; Azula/Therapy makes me rather uncomfortable.

And it does so on a rather personal level and for several reasons. I can’t really get into my biggest reason because it’s very deeply personal and I don’t feel comfortable sharing it online. So I’m gonna start with the less personal reasons as to why I think that Azula/Therapy is kinda sketchy imo.  

I feel as though most people who ship Azula/Therapy don’t really realize how it affects real people? For one thing I feel like it makes a joke of therapy. It’s kind of hard to explain but therapy isn’t some cute and quirky thing. It’s a very serious matter and to ship Azula/Therapy like it’s the next Drapple (Draco/Apple) just doesn’t sit right with me. 

Now don’t get me wrong, I feel like most people who ship Azula/Therapy don’t particularly mean any offense. I feel like to a degree it comes from a place of innocence. But and its big but, I think that Azula/Therapy got its origins from a not so wholesome place. In fact I think that the ship was  born from a place of hate. I think that the first time I encountered Azula/Therapy it was from a very notorious Azula anti. It gained traction with the anti crowd as a means to harass and guilt people for shipping Azula with anyone. And that’s not okay. I think that somewhere down the lines, the Azula fandom kind of reclaimed it but. I am damn near certain that this started as an Azula anti thing.

It’s one thing to ship Azula/Therapy because you don’t feel like Azula is sound enough to be in a relationship. But don’t try to guilt others for disagreeing. And this kind of leads me to my main problem with Azula/Therapy.

I think that it’s kind of, sort of (dare I say) ableist? Just because someone has a mental illness doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t be loved. I’ve been kind of keeping tabs on discussions on this and I came across one anon who literally say something about how “Azula would just be a burden to her lover.” NGL that had me floored because this is the exact line of thinking that puts depressed people in a bad place. Speaking from experience, people with depression feel like burdens/like they are bringing people down. And to see this line of thinking being affirmed in fandom spaces does not help real people who are experiencing the same thing. God forbid someone shares disorder traits with Azula and they see that. 

I am 100% that there are some relationships where a person just isn’t stable enough to be in a relationship and it would be detrimental for them to have one. But for other people finding a lover can be instrumental to recovery! So by all means, this is definitely a matter of something being a case by case thing. Getting a littler personal (but without getting into too many details) I know two people who literally saved each other. And by this I mean, one was super depressed and the other was ready to kill themself. Finding each other was what rekindled their will to live again. That’s why it really bothers me to see Azula/Therapy being tossed around so carelessly. To me there’s this underlying implication that mentally ill people shouldn’t be allowed to date and get love. And that’s just not fair?  I feel like people maybe don’t think about this when posting Azula/Therapy stuff. 

“Well Azula specifically shouldn’t be in a relationship yet because she’s not in a good place for it.”

Okay fair but consider a few things; 1. some people specifically write post-redemption Azula ship fics 2. some people enjoy writing out fics where romance helps her heal. 

I have seen it come up that someone (I won’t mention names because I’m not sure if this user would want that) mention that they ship Azula/Therapy because they aren’t up to writing a fic that involves an arc of Azula getting to a place where she can have romance. Which is totally fair. But, that doesn’t mean that other people can’t. And I feel like this fandom has been trying to guilt people for shipping Azula with anyone. As mentioned, this isn’t fine. (@ mentioned user, feel free to reply). 

Another thing that I saw was an anon saying that being anti Azula/Therapy is aro/acephobic. I’m going to put my foot down as someone who has been very openly aro/ace and say, don’t try to speak for all of us. Yes romance isn’t the solution for everyone because romance isn’t what everyone is looking for. And I absolutely agree with this. However Azula is a fictional character and not everyone headcanons her as aro/ace. For some people, writing Azula in a romance as part of the healing process is what makes them happy. It doesn’t make them aro/acephobic. 

One more thing that I saw come up regarding Azula specifically. And I think that they made a wonderful point; Azula’s breakdown (as I interpreted it) came from a lack of love. Azula craved genuine affection whether she realized it or not. So I would argue that Azula would be one of those people who could strongly benefit from being in a relationship as part of the healing processes. By all means, make therapy a part of that healing process! She can be in a relationship and she can still go to therapy. She can use that therapy to help her keep that relationship healthy. I guess what I’m trying to say is I could get on board with Azula/*Character*/Therapy as an OT3. 99.99% sure that this is really common in real life. Actually 100% sure because (again without sharing too much personal info) I have seen a rather unstable person get into a relationship and use therapy to help them make sure that said relationship stays healthy. 

A person doesn’t have to be 100% mentally sound to be in a relationship. And having a mental illness while  being in a relationship doesn’t automatically make it a toxic or dangerous relationship on principal. I think that (depending on the disorder) some long discussions need to be had and some boundaries need to be put in place. Speaking from experience, I have heard someone say something akin to, “alright, I have *disorder* if I ever do *bad habit* then take these steps and don’t let me push you around...” Things like that. 

TL;DR: I feel like Azula/Therapy (even if it comes from a well meaning place) can be disheartening for people who relate to Azula & people who already feel like a burden in their real life relationships. Ship Azula/Therapy if you want and if it makes you comfortable but don’t try to shame people for shipping her with other characters. Also be weary of people who ship Azula/Therapy  as a means to belittle others.

I think that’s it for now.  If I think of anything else, I’ll add it. I’ll just end by saying that I don’t mean this to be antagonistic or yell at anyone but to offer a new POV.

[arodabi]

(This is not hate but i want to say sorry in advance if i’m being rude or anything) maybe it’s because I’m a cishet woman so I have no experience of the discrimination the people in the lgbt community suffer. but I wanted to say: if some people in fandom love to ship aro and/or ace characters with other characters or change a character's sexuality in general just for their ship, this does not take away the fact that that character is of that particular sexuality in canon, it doesn’t take away the representation. So I don't see where the problem is if the person in question is respectful of real people sexuality. For example I know that Shiro from Voltron is canonically gay, but at the same time I like to ship him with myself and I see a lot of people in the fandom who keep self-shipping with him or even ship him with Allura. and I don’t see a problem because he is just a fictional character and he still gay in the canon universe. Same goes for aro/ace characters like Alastor. And i think that most people will keep shipping this characters in romantic relationship regardless of their canon sexuality because it’s just fiction and ships make them happy. Again, sorry if I sounded rude, I hope you won't take this aks as hate or anything!

so i kno u said this isn't supposed to b rude, but I feel like u didn't read my post and came here to complain that I said “don't ship aro characters” (which i really didn't even say, the main point is to just listen to us and be a better ally) which is kinda rude. I literally talk about how aro character's identities are like barely ever respected. I talk about how people put shipping before us constantly. I talk about how many creative spaces, not just fandom, are hostile towards us. I've literally had people insult my work to my face multiple times because I'm an aro storyteller who won't focus on shipping in my own content. I've had multiple people in the notes of that exact post express surprise that the characters I listed were actually aro. 

i want you to imagine for a second, and since u brought up Voltron ig ill use that, what is shiro was one of like 5 popular gay characters in fiction, but every fan work of him presented him as straight, to the point people did not know and were surprised he was gay. Like do you think that's okay? because that is like classic erasure. why is it suddenly okay to do to aro people? bc we don't matter?

a small group of fans making a gay character straight is like not something ppl generally worry about because its not enough to even effect anything. like sure some people will take offense, but at the end of the day they can just ignore a small group of fans. but that's not what I'm talking about here. most fans are erasing aro characters identities, which leads to either people not knowing that character is even aro, or (worse in my opinion) thinking that erasing an aro characters identity is just How You Write Aro Characters. “aros are just like every other alloro person, except I have to throw in a few words like qpr once and then never actually research what that means!”

like I don't participate in fandom stuff for a lot of reasons but one of them is that those spaces are hostile or completely unaccommodating to me. and one of the major ways they're like that is centering romance and shipping above all. even when a character is like me and is not interested in that stuff. “nope they actually are bc if they weren't itd be boring!” I've literally seen ppl make aus where an aro character isn't aro and the tag for that is “X character has a heart” that's uhhh fucked up? i can call myself heartless all I want but random alloros have LITERALLY NO RIGHT TO DO THAT WHAT THE FUCK. you realize that in popular fandoms there are usually more fanworks than there is actual canon material right? so if something has a scene or two (or outside tweets from creators) talking about a character being aro, but 99% of fanworks portray that character as alloro, then they are written predominantly as alloro, and people will interpret them as such. why the fuck do i have to have the few scraps of canon content to see myself in while everyone else gets to rip that to shreds and interpret the character as not like me.

also at this point I literally do not give a fuck if erasing aro characters identities is someone's prime mode of happiness, it's a shitty thing to do and it shows that they do not care about us.

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

Hearing Damage (Chop and Change, Part 7.)

Series descriprion: Twenty years ago, you’ve given a promise to a boy who claimed to imprint on you. Against your will, you decided to keep it and to visit La Push just to see if anything has changed.

Part summary: With Seth asking you to marry him, there was a new danger arising on the horizon. A problem named the Volturi. For that, you started to train the new generation of La Push shapeshifter while loosing a piece of yourself in the woods. 

A/N: Obviously, a huge shout-out to the Victoria chase scene ( ✨ CHEF'S KISS ✨) from New Moon, because the scene's iconic at this point (camera play be hard in this scene), and it inspired me for this whole chapter. I have some cool ideas in my mind... So let's watch me fuck 'em up, shall we?

Warning: It’s highly recommended to read the Football Time miniseries first since this contains an unlike pairing which is explained in the series, also the circumstances are given there.

Word counter: 4.4 K

Tagging: @nemodoren​. @missdictatorme​

Spotify playlist:  ✨ Twilight Crackheads ✨

Series masterlist: H E R E

It was the end of August - and even if the temperatures were still high, the rainy season was coming in full force. The storms were an everyday occasion, drowning the forest grounds in La Push with gallons of cold water every second. This, quite obviously, made the soil soaked in water and it also made all of the smells mix into the smell of the typical woods. You could smell the trees, the typical stale and water in the air; and nothing else. The lack of smell and footprints made it quite hard to track you down. Harder than normally, you'd say. Especially as you preferred to stay on the tops of the trees, or at higher places, where the smell could be tracked a bit harder than usual.

Now, you were putting to use everything you've learned on your stay with the Volturi. They taught you how to be unseen, quieter than the silence itself, barely recognizable by your smell. Also, it was one of the reasons why you were never caught by them - yes, there were times when they breathed on your back, but you always figured your way out by any means necessary. Your only luck was that Aro usually sent his less trained guards after you, not someone like Jane or Alec, who would wipe you out before you'd have the chance to think about what you were standing against.

With these shenanigans, Aro was sending you a clear message - whether the vampire was still fond of the times you've spent in his services or he just didn't want to offend Carlisle, he did want to put you down - yet you weren't his priority. To name it correctly, he didn't care that much about your destruction. Which, let's be honest, was probably changed at the moment you agreed to marry Seth. Now both Caius and Marcus had a real reason to put you down for good after you've fled their hunters countless times. Not only you've been packing with the werewolves, or 'consulting' with them, as Caius would most likely put it, but you were marrying one of their kind. This was overstepping every imaginable boundary set by the Volturi, straightaway asking them to destroy you.

There was a small possibility that the trio won't want to go against the Quilete pack, so Aro won't listen to Caius' pleadings. But your hopes in these scenarios were low, almost unexisting. They had to come, sooner or later. These Volterra vampires didn't consent to see the Quileute reservation as a sacred place, they didn't agree to respect the boundaries of the land, as the Cullens did previously. You couldn't be safe when it came to Aro and his underlings.

That was why you were sitting high up in a tree, watching the ground below you with a smile playing on your lips. The whole time, ever since the hunt started, you've been watching him from the shadows and he hasn't noticed. You had it in you the whole time. Sometimes, you misguided him on a wrong path ending nowhere and there were multiple occasions on which you almost won. Yet you didn't want to end the game so soon. You've been enjoying yourself... And he needed the training as well.

You've heard a small rock kicked over the ground and a small sigh. That was all it took to know he's near. Your eyes searched for him frantically just before you gazed at the huge, graceful animal. It was slowly walking down the path you've traveled through roughly eight hours ago - just before another big storm came again. Seth seemed to know you're near him, yet he wasn't able to locate you. Maybe if it wasn't as much fun, you'd revealed yourself a long time ago and provoked a fight. But seeing him clueless was making you stare at him with sparkles in your eyes, waiting before he figures out once more.

The revelation about Aro, Caius, and Marcus, or 'The Holy Trinity' as you called them, fell on you the very same evening Seth had proposed to you. He just fell asleep with his head on your chest again, as usual, when your eyes widened in horror. Your fingers petrified inside his hair, you weren't able to breathe. You couldn't anything, just to think about the danger arising on the horizon. How long could it take you to prepare for a wedding? Alice was quite handy with this, especially with Esme and Rosalie's help, so it won't take you more than a year before your surname will be changed to Clearwater. And what then? If they'd hear about the inter-species marriage, they'd immediately send someone to look after you. Whether it will be a spy or someone who will send you a clear warning, there was this paranoid, irrational fear on the back of your head.

Both the Cullens and the shapeshifters said they'll come to protect you against Aro and his underlings, you called Carlisle and Sam the following morning, there were no buts and no questions, even Sam and Embry quite hot-headedly promised they'll shift if they'll have to protect a part of their family... But the image itself was vividly burned into your brain. How stupid you've been for not realizing it sooner? At the start, it was nothing, but at this point, it could hurt a lot of people. Alice didn't see them coming in every version of the future she went through, but maybe they hadn't heard of the news yet or they didn't decide to come. But decisions can be made from second to second, especially when Aro knew how Alice's gift works.

A vampire marrying a werewolf. What a joke to be told. There always existed the possibility they already knew what was about to happen and they simply didn't care. Yet it was keeping you restless at nights. And one day, you've come up with the idea. Well, it was more or less a conjuring of coincidences... But it was working in the end.

After the whole Cullen clan came by to visit Forks to see if it's safe to attend your wedding as a whole family, all of them were creeping in the shadows, of course, some boys started to shift just like their fathers before them. It was all repeating itself, playing out exactly like the last time. They've been remorseful, yet everyone found a light at the end of the tunnel in this situation since now, everyone was experienced with shifting, controlling it and the men even knew how to stop it. Sam, upon realizing Cullens have made it happen again, said he's old to lead a pack - asking Jacob to be the new ultimate alfa of La Push. Jacob, not like how much of the kids - both girls and boys - shifted, agreed to start a new pack. He just widened the two-men pack which already existed. Since you were a vampire, an old an experienced one, you decided to let the werewolves hunt you... Whether for fun or training. At first, it sounded too dangerous and crazy, to let a pack of teenage, unruly werewolves hunt you down in the woods with their teeth ready to bite the limbs of your head off if they lose their focus.

Yes, you were aware that the werewolves were naturally good in tracking and hunting vampires down, yet not every vampire was that straightforward as the newborns, with who the pack already had experience with. Some of them could hide in the shadows, attack at the least expected moment, come up with better tactics than the pack. When Seth and Jake set with the pack on a group hunt, they usually found you and 'took you down' in less than a day. With each training, the pack consisting of teenagers got better. They've been coming up with better tactics, surprising you at times you were sure they'll never find you.

This was a new adrenaline rush for both you and your boyfriend. One of which you couldn't have enough. You and Seth sometimes got lost in the woods for the weekends, just you and him and any other werewolf. This was what you sarcastically called a 'romantic weekend'. Sometimes, you betted for dishes or cleaning the room, if you wanted the hunt to be spicy. But no matter who won, there was this certain despair which made Seth search for you more intensely than any of the other werewolves would - the feeling was based on having you slipping just a small bit past his radars, the feeling that you're just slipping past his fingers when he's doing all he possibly could just to keep you by his side for a little longer... That was what made these hunts exciting.

The quicker he'd find you, the quicker you could get home and think of a way to appreciate his efforts. It wasn't physical every time, not most of the time. Sometimes, you've prepared him a really special dinner, sometimes you did things that you hated to do - like cleaning the bathroom after he came from the forest muddy and dirty. It was always fun.

After a moment of watching him circling in small proximity from where you've been sitting at, you elegantly jumped from one tree to another. You've been so careful that Seth didn't notice a leaf moving from the sudden movement and waves of air you've caused. For some time, you've followed him around and watched him carefully searching the whole perimeter. You've been in the woods for three days - if he'd like to give up the hunt, all he had to do was to howl out loud three times. And with anticipation, you've seen as he's thinking about doing just that. This made you jolt with excitement. You've been so close to winning... It was just seconds away.

Yet in the next second, you notice the expression in the wolf's eyes change as the animal shifted his gaze in another direction. Someone from the pack just joined you. Usually, when the younglings needed to change for a while, they were instructed on where they weren't supposed to go. It was just for not ruining the sport. But this gaze meant something different, yes, this meant that another hunter joined Seth.

'Where have you been?' - Seth heard inside his mind as Jake approached him from the northern perimeters. - 'Do you know what day it even is? It seems that you lost yourself to the game.' - With a scoff, Jacob was running closer. - 'Did something happen?' - Seth asked back, running through the wet soil at a racing speed just to meet his wolf brother in the middle. Jacob started to laugh almost, a peal of pure amusement was sinking through the sound. - 'I just came to put an end to this. Let's find the soon-to-be wife of yours, shall we?' - Jacob asked back, nodding his huge head at Seth.

You've been following both the wolves all along. Sometimes, you'd love to have Edward's gift to read minds. Oh, you'd give anything to hear what was the pack talking about. But you could work only with barks, as you called it, sights and growling to read their signals. Which wasn't easy, but you managed.

'Have you seen her this weekend?' - Jacob asked as both of them searched through the woods at a calm pace, both taking one side of the river. The rain was getting worse, but they'll surely find you in no time. - 'She's trying to blend in this time - I've caught a few scent paths, but they never led anywhere. I'm sure she's close and giggling somewhere in the trees. She always is.' - Seth said with sureness in his voice. He did respect your skill to blend in with the woods, if he hadn't been falling asleep on your chest every day of the past three years, you'd be able to convince him that maybe, you could be just a dream. - 'Someone should remind her she'll come late to her wedding. What a woman.' - The bigger, brown wolf sighed. Seth stopped to look at him, the inner chaos was screaming inside Jacob's ears. - 'They're already here?' - 'Everyone's here. There are things like bachelor and bachelorette parties. Sam and Emily already prepared yours.' - Jacob laughed at Seth's out-of-touch realization. - 'I didn't know we've been here that long,'

He wanted to continue, yet suddenly, his head spangled in a direction of the waterfall. As once again, he sighed at the sight of you. You were squatting on the tallest rock, teasingly smiling at him. Seth couldn't but adore your appearance once more, this happened every time he hadn't seen you in a while. All you were wearing was a tight top and old jeans; nothing else, not even shoes, was necessary. Your hair had been untidily styled as if you didn't care at all, and yet you've been the most beautiful person he had ever seen. His hands already knew every small inch of your body, but he was eager to re-memorize it all. - 'She's all yours, brother.' - Jacob said internally and growled in your direction, so you'd know they're coming for you. - 'Tell me if you need help and... Don't be soft on her.' - 'Tell her that. Last time, she bumped my ankle.' - Seth answered, but ran in your direction like a greased lightning.

Sure, you could just jump down from the cliff, into the water, misleading him again. But if Jake interrupted your weekend, something must've been happening. Which was the fact that made you reveal yourself in such a clear way? How Jake came to search for you wasn't as important to made Seth call the hunt off, but it was a sign that you should speed the things up. So instead of leaping off, you ran in Seth's direction with the same force, as if you planned on meeting him in the halfway. Jacob knew how much you loved each other; there was still the shared consciousness inside their mind, so even if Seth didn't want to show them, they've seen... Everything.

And even though you've been one of the most loving couples inside the borders of La Push, Jacob would swear that he had never seen two people going against each other with such aggression. You were capable of going into one-v-one with Seth in the blink of an eye. The physical fights weren't just some... Teasing. You didn't hold anything back and neither did he. When you started to fool around with each other, you were growling from the depths of your chest, your eyes suddenly became wilder and your whole body changed into a weapon. Seth didn't hold back - each time, he was going in with full force, biting you and scratching you. Well, when you could accidentally break his ribs during your first time, he could bite your forearm, right? Those were the rules.

Yet when the smaller wolf tried to catch you with his teeth, you've bounced off the riverbed and flew just inches above him, dodging him masterfully. As he turned on his feet paws to run after you, he saw you sending him an amused grin over the shoulder before you giggled and went into the woods. Jacob followed immediately. It took you some time before you realized they're closing you between them, preparing to take trap you. You've had a plan for this - but as soon as you bounced off the wet soil, you felt Seth's snout pulling you back. The wolf threw you on your back, surmounting you. You could feel the smell of his breath when you laid under him. Quite uncomfortably, he pressed his front feet with claws next to your head and dear Lord, you could hear him saying 'you're not escaping from me now'.

It almost seemed that Seth had won. And with a blink of an eye, you were gone again. Seth didn't know what happened, all he could tell was that he was covered in the soil as you dug yourself from under him. The wolf didn't have even a time to look around to find out where you've disappeared -suddenly, something knocked him off his feet as you jumped down on his back. You've been careful enough not to hurt him, but you did surprise him. You've shown him who's the boss here, knocking him on his side.

At that moment, Jacob, who wasn't supposed to take action, jumped at you and bit into your shoulder, throwing you into the nearest tree. It could seem like a lot and as unnecessary aggression, it could be seen as excessive violence, something that shouldn't happen between lovers and friends. It was just for sports, to be honest. As long as you didn't crack or neither of them had cracked, everything was alright. Over time, Jacob realized how far he can go before seriously hurting you - once, he knocked a finger off your palm. At that, you stopped the training and you were very mad with him. That day, you showed them how vampires put themselves back together when they're not destroyed properly, but you also told him to go gently with you. They didn't need to tear you apart. From that moment on, he understood how to tackle you without tearing your arm off.

Your back crushed the tree you've landed on - the curve of your spine could be perfectly seen. Slowly, you picked yourself up on your knees and growled, slowly getting more and more pissed. Without any further signal, you sprangled against Jacob, mounting him with a sadistic smile. The wolf jumped around as if you were on a rodeo, your palms held islets of his fur as you tried not to get kicked off. As you held the fur, there was something that couldn't be described in your grip, some sort of tenderness. It was for good fun - you didn't want to hurt him, but you still reminded Jacob that you were capable of being dangerous.

Seth was now on his feet, ready to take you down - yet you were faster. Before both of them figured out what you were about to do, you were on your way forward, running through the woods. The trees as if moved out of your way, nothing could stop you at that moment. Jacob and Seth were running next to you the whole time. At first, it didn't seem that the two tried to achieve something - just before you realized they've pushed you into a tight corner. They've led you to one side of the big cliff. It was a high wall of stone massive - and definitely, you could climb it and escape. But what was enough, was enough. You've looked on the wall, still hearing the two wolves standing behind you. With grace, you put both your palms on your hips and tried to move into a civilized level. No growling, no abrupt attacks, nothing.

They knew that you needed a moment to become human again. The first rule of these weekends was to... Let go of the civilized humanity you've learned yourself throughout the last four centuries. Something wilder appeared in your eyes each time you've prepared yourself for an attack as if there was some animal trapped inside. After two minutes, you finally turned at both of them with a smile. - "Good job, boys. You have me." - Gently, you approached Seth and dug your fingers inside Seth's fur. - "I'll wait for you at the house, okay?" - And with that, you were gone.

Both Jacob and Seth appeared out of the woods behind you not too long after that, with big smiles and jokes airing one after another. Another grin appeared on your lips as you walked to meet Seth just to feel his warmth on your body. Jesus. You've forgiven that your body was warm at moments - especially in the morning when Seth climbed out of the bed. Usually, you were almost warm like a normal human being. Yet now, throughout the weekend, you've coldened even more thanks to the wind and rain. - "Hey there, handsome." - You smiled and wrapped your arms around his back, bringing him closer.  - "I almost got you, didn't I?" - "You know you had me. For two days." - Jesus, you were so sweet that Jake had to look everywhere but not at you.

"Guys, can you stop?" - Jacob asked with a burst of laughter. You didn't let go of each other, but you stopped stealing kisses. - "Do you even want to get married?" - Oh. Suddenly, you stiffened in Seth's arms as you realized why did Jake come for you. The wedding. OH. The guests had arrived. What day it even was? - "Did we missed the date?" - You let out quietly, almost being frozen in place. Seth started laughing. - "We almost did. Jake came to pick me up because of the bachelor party." - "Are the others here already?" - You looked at Jacob - the man didn't say a word, he simply nodded at you.

"Be careful, yeah?" - You mumbled to Seth, kissing his shoulder with your ice-cold lips. Dear Lord, could you get more beautiful than you were at the moment? He couldn't touch you for three days almost and now, he let you go for another one. - "Yes ma'am." - Your man answered solubly, planting one last kiss on your forehead. - "And you. Try to capture everything. I want to see him drunk." - You whispered to Jacob and he gave you a sinister whisper back. - "Well, you saw him drunk multiple times. Why is this different?" - "That wasn't his bachelor party. He might say he doesn't want to marry or whatever." - Just like that, you were gone.

Alice was standing at the back of your small residence with both palms on her hips. Bella was there too, hugging Alice's shoulder with a smile your way. Everyone was there - Esme, who was waiting at the Cullen residence, Rosalie, Sue, Emily, and someone, who was a surprise for you. Two women with whom you hadn't met personally yet. Well, you met your sister-in-law once. You've met her on the football match - but she hadn't been in La Push ever since you've moved in. Sue told you that Leah was visiting her regularly, but she never drove to see you and Seth. Yet now, she was there to celebrate your last night of freedom - she was there with her fianceé Samatha and they've been smiling the whole time you were walking to them. Emmett wanted to spend the night with you as well, but they told him he can't. This was meant to be a 'wellness ladies night', as planned by Alice. - "Where have you been? We've been here for ages!" - Alice cried out, barely keeping her shit together. - "I... I..." - For real, you wanted to tell her you're sorry, but Rosalie was there to dismiss everything Alice said.

"We're here for twenty minutes at the top." - The blonde vampire rolled her eyes, walking to you for a hug. - "Yeah, you're a bit overdramatic, Alice. Chill out." - Bella mumbled and kissed her cheek just before she walked to you to hug you as well. - "You didn't organize the whole wedding, you two, don't you take her side now. She's late." - Alice huffed angrily, but she calmed down in the next moment. Sue and Emily joined the two vampires as they bickered. With a shy grin, you approached Leah and Sam standing in front of the door. - "You're looking rough." - Leah noted as she looked at your muddy jeans and the clothes soaked in rain. Each of them wore wearing raincoats, so once again, you were the only one dressed inappropriately. - "Did he at least take you down, would be his first." - Leah muttered and to your surprise, the woman offered you her arms for a light hug. It wasn't any of the warm, passionate mom hugs Sue was giving you, but it was something. This was way better than the gazes Leah was giving you back then.

Leah stepped aside as if she had an allergic reaction on your skin, but still kept the friendly expression on her face. Leah was a beautiful woman, that needed to be said. You loved her long, wavy black hair, and full lips curled in a big smile. Her gaze and dark eyes were reminding you of Seth - these two were alike. And Sam, dear Lord, she was beautiful as well. - "Sam, this is... Y/N, my brother's soon to be wife. Y/N, this is Sam, my fianceé." - With eagerness, you shook Sam's hand. She noticed that you're cold as ice, but Leah told her something about this beforehand - she told you that you're Carlisle's sister and that your whole family had problems with blood circulation, which lead to your body appearing cold all the time. It was, of course, to protect Sam - yet the lie was kind of ridiculous.

The men, whether you were talking about Jake's pack or the rest of the Cullens, gathered at Sam Uley's house, where Sam planned on making another of his famous grill parties. But your evening was about to be way more painful - Alice made her main goal to prepare you for tomorrow. While the rest of your bridesmaids and their kids were chilling in the living room, drinking wine, talking, and laughing, Alice threw you into a bathtub. The whole night, she was playing with your hair, preparing it, making sure your skin will look nice, tried a few make-up looks. You were sure that soon, she'll bring sandpaper.

[mgkconfessions]

Girls, Girls, Girls - Who is who?

This is an overview of the most talked about girls on this blog, who are or were in Kells’ life one way or another. (It isn’t finished yet and I’ll update it whenever I can, next girl will be Sahara.)

(in alphabetical order)

Chantel Jeffries

Nicknames used on this blog: Schantelle, C.

Instagram: chanteljeffries

Twitter: ChantelJeffries

Youtube: Chantel Jeffries

Profession: DJ, Instagram model, Youtuber (although she only posts if her video is sponsored these days)

Relationship to Kells: Probably dated from the beginning of July 2019 towards the end of October 2019.

Summary: I don’t recall the exact date when he followed Chantel or if she was already following him on Instagram, but publicly it all started when she attended his concert at The Wiltern in L.A. on June 30th 2019. Shortly after, both were seen at the Peppermint Club in L.A. to watch Dave Chapelle, where they were being filmed and photographed by paparazzi and afterwards had dinner at the Nice Guy. On July 4th Kells announced that he smashed Chantel and did the walk of shame, the same day they were at the 6th Annual 'Red, White & Bootsy' 4th July party in Malibu, where Chantel was djing and Kells performed as well. However he did the walk of shame actually multiple times according to an anon. Despite many fans complaining about her not being supportive, she did at least post about ‘Hotel Diablo’ on it’s release day. In the beginning there were many paparazzi pictures and videos taken of them (I let you guess who called them) for example when they were having lunch with Chantel’s friends or dinner and one time they even met up in New York, where he did some interviews for his new album ‘Hotel Diablo’ at the end of July. Chantel’s favourite paparazzo even got to asked both Chantel and Kells about their dating life, but neither of them really admitted to anything yet. He also caught them talking to fans or picking up clothes, although not for Jake Paul’s wedding as the title suggests. Jake Paul actually doesn’t like Chantel much and completely exposed her once (around 12:50). Anyway Kells also drove Chantel and her friends to Comic Con in San Diego, where he posted Chantel’s feet on his steering wheel and lap, while he was driving the car. Apparently Chantel didn’t see anything wrong with that and a week later she even joked around with Kells about him driving without a license. So for a month they spend a lot of time together, but since August he was touring again and went to Japan and Europe, so it seemed like they only saw each other a couple of times for example in London, where Kells took a flight earlier than his band mates, while Chantel was again with two friends there. Allegedly when he was in London with her, they started  following each other, after many fans were speculating why they weren’t following each other already, however he allegedly removed some of his likes on more sexual posts, some thought that she might have told him to do it. Twitter was in general a medium for Chantel to subtweet about Kells all the time and having extreme changes in her mood. Especially since September their relationship seemed to go downhill. She tweeted song lyrics about lovers becoming strangers and missing someone, but also starting to forget about him. But around the middle of September, they seemed to be fine again, because Chantel posted a picture of two lovers in a bad on her Instagram story, which she captioned with ‘us’. By the way she previously posted another picture, where the couple resembled her and Kells back in July. However they seemed to have had a fight, maybe even took a break or called it quits, only a couple of days later. Chantel posted about the perfect song for an afternoon cry, while Kells told everyone that he’ll date himself. Two days later he was still in a bad mood. Nevertheless around a week later, they were still or back together and Chantel made their relationship public by posting a paparazzi picture of them in Kells’ car and calling him her baby. Kells took his time until he reposted the picture on his Instagram story as well only to delete it briefly after and then posted it again hours later. He seemed a bit unsure of this whole thing. And I honestly believe that Chantel didn’t post it, because they were so in love, but because it was the last thing she felt she could do to try to keep their relationship going. For her birthday Kells commented nothing special under her birthday picture, but her sister reminded us all that Chantel was still in his life by congratulating her with a picture of Chantel next to Kells’ yellow car. Around that time he fully stopped occasionally liking and commenting on her Instagram pictures and their relationship seemed quite done and over based on the cryptic tweets Chantel wrote in October about him. There was for example her very insensitive tweet about Kells choosing to be sad, which she was called out for by other fans, because it was obvious that she was talking about him or her liking tweets about being ignored. Shortly after that she claimed to have an existential crisis, I assume because of Kells, while he opened up about feeling hurt all the time, but blamed himself for it. The next day he unfollowed Chantel, so it seemed like they broke up for good and the same day he lost control on stage and explained that personal frustration was the reason for it, but that he wanted to get help after the tour ended. Chantel stayed quiet about it, but after a video appeared in which a guy was touching a girl’s ass and then showing the middle finger, while the girl and her friend were dancing on the Tour bus and Chantel and her sister were the only ones tagged on the post, she unfollowed him as well on October 29th. But that wasn’t the end yet, because now she had some things to say in her typical cryptic tweeting style. A day after she unfollowed him, she started with saying that hurt people hurt people, which was a tweet that Kells liked, continued with that she has questions and I assume that Kells made her feel something again. However Kells kept being petty towards her as well with Sahara (see below) and after that ended, him and Chantel refollowed each other on Instagram again and ended up partying together into the new Year 2020, but Chantel seemed to have moved on with Diplo for now, while Kells is in love with the music.

In my opinion these two didn’t fit at all and I talked in more detail about it here, but from the beginning it was clear that they wouldn’t work out, because Kells usually preferred his privacy while Chantel seemed to be someone, who needed and enjoyed the media attention and had no problem with publicizing her relationships. Also Kells was and still is struggling with his own demons and Chantel seemed to lack empathy and understanding for it, accusing him more than understanding that he isn’t in the right mindset for a relationship. I don’t know if this relationship was supposed to be exclusive, because Kells hooked up and wanted to hook up with other girls on tour, but he said before that girls know what they’re getting into, when they’re dating him and Chantel’s own friends literally joked about how Chantel’s bad habit is that she doesn’t know that she has a boyfriend (around 08:04), which was Kells and I also doubt that Chantel was completely focused on him either, although it might have looked like it. She’s a calculated person and knows how to climb up the social ladder and how to play people and present herself in the public eye. I’m sure she always has an eye on other celebrities, from whose relationship she could benefit.

Eden

Instagram: e.d.en

Profession: assistant

Relationship to Kells: She was first seen working as his assistant during the European leg of his Hotel Diablo Tour and the Justin Bieber Big Tour with Young Thug both in 2019.

Hedi Gores:

Instagram: hevin_gg (private)

Profession: co-founder of “Pressed Juicery”

Relationship to Kells: casual dating that turned into an open long-term toxic relationship from probably around the end of 2015 till the beginning of 2018

Summary: They met through their mutual friend Taav Cooperman. At first it was only casual between them until they realized that it was time to stop fucking around. They dated till around his birthday in 2016 and were on and off till 2018. Although Hedi has been described by various people as a toxic person and she went back and forth between Kells and her ex(-es), she seemed to be one of the few woman, he caught feelings for and was also one of the few, who he posted about on his Instagram page. He also knew family members of her, who liked him as well. But apart from that they kept their relationship low-key and most pictures of them were posted by friends. She was also the one, who got him more into fashion and I believe even had some connections for him. It is believed that his songs ‘Let you go’ and ‘The Break Up’ are about her. I don’t know if they’re still in contact, because they run in the same Hollywood circles, but I hope that she will never be a part of his life again, because she seemed to only want to play with him and keep him as her plan B, when she can’t date someone else.

In my opinion she never really loved him, because you wouldn’t play with someone you love and respect. However I think that Kells was in love with her, because she’s actually a mum, who takes care of her son and Kells never really had a mother, so he probably saw her as a caring and nurturing woman. She also fits to his preference of an independent woman, since she runs her own business and was fine with him sleeping with other girls.

Josie Canseco:

Instagram: josiecanseco

Twitter: JosieCanseco

Profession: model

Relationship to Kells: I believed that they were dating, others thought that they weren’t, but after writing this, I changed my mind. It looks like she wanted them to become something serious, while he preferred to keep it a casual fling from around January till the beginning of April 2019.

Summary: Publicly it all started after she commented a black heart under a picture of him around January 14th 2019, which isn’t on his Instagram page anymore. However you can still see the picture on the photographers Instagram page (melimelzone). The only pictures of her and Kells were taken on January 28th, where she went to Sundance Film Festival as well, I assume as his plus one, where they showed Big Time Adolescence. And on February 1st both of them attended Pete’s comedy show in L.A. After that they weren’t publicly seen together anymore, but she was busy on social media liking pictures of him on his fan pages and posting about him and the guys on her Instagram story, while Kells was very likely hooking up with Paris Hilton and partying with Katie (see below). At a mutual friend’s birthday dinner, that happened in the beginning of April, they were already not sitting next to each other anymore (Josie was wearing the grey cap and white shirt) and like 2 weeks later she unfollowed him finally. But that isn’t really a surprise, considering that she unfollowed and refollowed him so often during this short time to the point where fans couldn’t take it seriously anymore. She also wrote many cryptic tweets about him and allegedly deleted tweets prior to being with Kells, in which she was siding with Eminem and agreeing to everything he said about Kells during their beef. She’s also known for posting Eminem songs whenever she’s unhappy with Kells (till this day) and allegedly talked shit about him before, during and after their fling. I guess because he attacked Eminem and then she was unhappy, that he didn’t want to be in a relationship with her. However they seem to be on friendly terms now. Recently she even tried to flirt with him on Twitter again, but he still didn’t seem interested in her like that.

In my opinion Josie is probably too childish for Kells and brings too much stress. Kells is actually a chill guy and Josie seems like things need to go her way or she would throw a tantrum. She also has no problem with pda and publicly living her relationships, although I don’t think that’s so surprising, since she was part of reality tv shows before.

Katie Knobbe:

Instagram: katieknobbe

Twitter: KatieeKnobbe

Profession: wardrobe stylist

Relationship to Kells: I don’t know if she has styled him before, because of her job, but they seem to be in a friends with benefits situation, although some of us believe, that Katie caught some feelings for him. They probably know each other since 2018. 

Summary: tbc

Nicky Mir:

Instagram: nicky.mir

Twitter: NickyMirXX

Profession: assistant

Relationship to Kells: Fans seem unsure of how long she has worked as Kells’ assistant and if she’s still working for him, but it has been at least a couple of years. She is also a huge fan and part of EST.

Sahara Ray:

Nicknames used on this blog: PG (Personal Groupie)

Instagram: sahara_ray

Twitter: Sahara_Ray_

Profession: Instagram model, owns her own swimwear line “Sahara Ray Swim”

Relationship to Kells: Very likely just an extended hook up, who joined him for a short period of time while on his tour with Young Thug in November 2019, although she acted like they were a proper couple throughout the whole time.

Summary: tbc

[bmcrbb]

artist claims

sorry for the delay, there’s some personal drama taking up my time to blame here & also a small bit of classic procrastination. but here we are, with ARTIST CLAIMS.

here’s how this works!

i’m gonna put a list of fics below the read more line, and they’re all numbered, but do not have author names on them. your job is to pick your favorite 3 fics, and then enter their numbers into this form. that’s it! a fic may end up with multiple artists, and we may do a round 2 for any unclaimed fics.

here we go!

1. Marked On My Grave

Summary:

Really, Christine hadn’t expected much to come out of her life after dropping out of Bard Highschool. Her job opportunities were low, and Bard College was out of the window entirely. Shady deals made by angry princesses didn’t exactly help, nor did the pillaging pirates and necromancers-for-hire. And the necromancer’s mechanical henchmen were just the cherry on top of the very, very dangerous cake! But Christine really couldn’t say no to an adventure, could she?

Ships: Hints of Christine Canigula/Jenna Rolan, background Jake Dillinger/Michael Mell, background Brooke Lohst/Chloe Valentine

Tags & Warnings: Fantasy Au (Inspired by DND), Minor Non-Graphic Violence, Mentions of Blood, Mentions of Unconsciousness, Brief Mention of a Concussion, Mild Cursing

2. Reconnect

Summary:

Jeremy is a single dad trying his best. Michael is also a single dad trying his best. After a falling out in high school, they haven't seen each other for years. When their sons become friends, they're forced to talk through their problems and figure out how to get along. Michael never really thought of Jeremy as anything more than a friend, but now...

Ships: Michael/Jeremy, Christine/Brooke

Tags & Warnings: Refrenced Abuse (from squip and from a parent), Slow Burn, Child Original Characters, jeremy heere fights the PTA

3.  off key, but in tune (we reach a crescendo)

Summary:

Marching band! (No squips!) Rich has been in band since freshman year, he's been aware of Jeremy since they joined at the same time even if they played different instruments. They weren't friends but they weren't not friends. Eventually Jeremy brings another kid with him - they're sophomores now. Rich isn't necessarily good but he's the only other person who plays baritone. Michael picks it because no one else plays it. No one except Rich.

They spend their time at the back of the marching field, helping each other get their uniforms straightened out, crammed in the back of the band bus with Jeremy, falling asleep on the way home from a competition. Nothing becomes something becomes everything. Michael helps Rich read music, Rich helps Michael's form. Sophomore year turns to Junior year turns to Senior year. Long nights at competitions, winning awards, holiday concerts, state band competitions. At some point they realize that this might be what love is.

Ships: Michael/Rich

Tags & Warnings: Rich's dad sucks, implied self harm (nothing graphic), I'm not totally sure of all the details yet but they're sad and learn to navigate. Maybe past suicide attempts referenced. maybe underage drinking/smoking weed

Notes: the kids are all lgbtq and neurodivergent im not exactly sure on everything yet, rich has adhd michael is autistic and has adhd. slowburn all that good stuff, michael and rich play baritone, rich moves up to sousaphone and michael is a drum major senior year. jeremy plays flute. the others will be in it not totally sure whos where yet. jenna is yearbook tho.

4. Dead Poets

Summary:

Brooke loves poetry and dreams of becoming a poet herself, but when Chloe starts belittling her for it, she decides to leave it in the past. Flash-forward to junior year, and Brooke feels like her only purpose in life is to follow Chloe around while being constantly reminded that she's inferior to her. She could leave, but fearing what others would think and knowing that she's been in love with Chloe since kindergarten prevents her from doing so.

The only place that provides her solace is her favorite place behind the school, and one day, she stumbles upon someone there—Richard Goranski, a guy who loves poetry and literature as much as she does, and is also struggling with an unrequited love. Hanging out with him revives her will to create poetry, and together they learn how to cope with their problems. Unfortunately, things also get a whole lot more complicated, and Brooke realizes that perhaps that's how beautiful tragedies were written—they were experienced first.

Ships: Chloe/Brooke, Platonic Brooke/Rich, Rich/Jeremy, Christine/Brooke, background Jake/Chloe

Tags & Warnings: There are suicidal thoughts (Brooke seriously entertains the thought of killing herself at one point, but doesn't push through with it or even do self-harm at all. Meanwhile, Brooke discovers Rich's scars from doing self-harm, and learns that he's tried to kill himself before) and mentions of depressing things (like tragedies, so there will be mentions of blood and violence and stuff like that, but it's pretty brief), homophobia, Alternate Universe, Suicidal Thoughts, Self-Esteem Issues, Friendship, Inspired by Poetry, Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, stuff like that. Oh, and there's a bunch of fluff at some point, and the S.Q.U.I.P. doesn't exist.

5. take my hand, take my whole life too

Summary:

Expensive Headphones fake dating AU.

Ships: Rich/Michael

Tags & Warnings: No Current Warnings, Fake dating, Wedding, Fluff

6. friended

Summary:

Focused mostly on platonic relationships and the aftermath of everything, i know one plot point that i wanna include is michael’s moms taking in jake after the house fire and rich + jer bonding

Ships: Jeremy/Christine/Jake, potential Rich/Michael

Tags & Warnings: Mentions of the squip abuse, Homophobia, Alcoholism, Platonic michael/jake, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort

7. love shack (that’s where it’s at)

Summary:

Brooke decides to capitalize on the annual Valentine’s Day Dance (the second most attended dance at Middleborough High, second only to the Freshman Fling. The prom DOES NOT COUNT, Jake.), and she sets up a little matchmaking stand outside school.

Two things she wasn’t expecting happen:

1) Matchmaking is a surprisingly profitable business

2) She doesn’t want a match of her own

Ships: brooke’s aro and that’s the whole point of this fic but, background Jeremy/Christine, Jenna/Thalia, & some very very background stuff

Tags & Warnings: Brief Homophobia, aro!brooke, figuring out your sexual identity, School Dance

8.  Being Scared Keeps Us Alive

Summary:

Superhero AU where Jeremy is Spider-Man and Michael is like the blogger but anyway best friends turned boyf riends eventually with some twisty villainy occurring in the background

Ships: Jeremy/Michael

Tags & Warnings: Blood & Violence, Superhero AU

9. For The Better

Summary:

Chloe puts in the effort to change for the better, and her and Brooke find that maybe theres a little more than friendship between the two of them.

Ships: Brooke/Chloe, Jeremy/Christine

Tags & Warnings: None Currently

10. Let’s Get Inside Their Brains

Summary:

Jeremy Heere is a surgical resident. He’s the son of the now-deceased well-known surgeon Anne Heere. This is something he tries to hide from his peers. He falls for pediatric neurosurgeon prodigy Christine Canigula when he starts working with her. Christine is hesitant to start things with him because of him being a resident but she falls for him anyway. Jeremy also deals with trying to handle the legacy of being a Heere and the expectations that were set for him before he was even born.

Christine’s character is not just falling for a resident and that is not the only plot. She also struggles with the complicated task of discovering how to deal with a startling new epidemic of implants in people’s brains that change their behaviors. She can’t figure out how to fix the problem even with her prodigy level skills. Her attempts at removing the implant create strange behaviors in her patients that she doesn’t know how to explain. Sometimes the surgeries fail completely and people die on the table.

Jeremy has a knack for neurosurgery and is picked by Christine to work with her. Together they try to understand what exactly is going on and how to fix it without killing the patients or causing strange behavior that can’t see to be fixed.

Ships: Jeremy/Christine

Tags & Warnings: Medical procedures, mentions of past abuse, Dark, Alternate Universe

now, again, ARTISTS, please select your top 3 fics and fill out this form. first come, first serve! please have it filled out by JULY 23RD, or i will chase you around with a wooden spoon in your dms

[thesunshinedissociation]

A Maria-Centric View of Our System

I realized this morning that my hope when I tell friends about our plurality is that they’ll assume they’ve been interacting with several of us and thus their feelings towards the presumed singlet will just be re-understood as towards at least several of us, if not the whole system. But also as far as I know we haven’t really told anyone how to tell us apart. So, from my point of view, here’s something of a description of each of us. (Thankfully, as far as I can tell, I have a nice spot in the system for this.) I’ll go from most to least active. 

Maria: Me. Self-description is probably the hardest, but as best I can tell, I’m the one who’s best able to get desires going. Especially for pleasure. Like, whereas the others will be very lost trying to find something they want, I can be somewhat hedonistic at times. I also do get a lot done, which is good since I also have a lot of energy and a really good tolerance for being alone.  Some people don’t seem to like me as much, especially after some of my more reckless decisions. (I just noticed my name is one letter away from mania...) Which has made me all the more aware of how okay I am with being alone. Also, I feel about fifteen years old inside, and it can be kinda scary at times since I still have the responsibilities of someone ten years older.  I used to be pretty bad on a stimulant addiction. Lately I’ve noticed I don’t like nicotine. My drug tolerance seems generally lower. But, I also don’t have anorexic tendencies, nor do I have money anxiety. On the other hand, the others don’t love my love of candy and snacks. Nor do they always love when I go on spending sprees. Oh well. At least I enjoy myself. (The near-constant physical pain is less pleasant. As is being constantly overheated. While I’m often derealized, that’s not so bad because it makes the world less scary. I feel myself as very real, which is nice. The distorted perceptions are weird but workable. The ability to give myself a buzz without drugs is really fun.) I imagine I’m usually pretty identifiable by my energy. I’m also more concerned with my aesthetic than most of the others, but my external appearance usually ends up at least somewhat chaotic. 

Natalia: The caretaker of the group. We’re really close, usually able to talk to each other at will, switch with each other almost at will, and when one of us come around, the other is rarely far away. She’s pretty protective of all of us, and has run into conflict a few times when keeping everyone away to keep us safe. Our roomates say she’s remarkably responsible. Which is fair; most of the stuff that has to get done like cleaning the house or putting food in one of the anorexic/depressive alters falls on her. Sadly, she’s not as good at having fun. But she says she’s usually content. Which, hey, if being caring is what makes her happy, that seems alright. I appreciate having someone around to keep me calm when things go awry. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if half of my coping skills were just to turn to her for help. She’s also usually pretty easy to identify by behavior alone, I imagine. Like, her primary drive is to take care of anyone she cares about. She usually keeps her appearance more tame, but it’s not super important. 

Victoria: Sometimes she can feel really great, but it’s pretty fragile. On any day she’s out, there’s a good chance she’s going to crash hard. Usually because she can’t handle being alone, and will very quickly suspect that she’s too socially inadequate to carry on. She’s also more isolated in the system, especially since her falling out with Natalia and Lizzie a few months ago. (But they weren’t very compatible to start with.)  I’m not sure how much she has going for her besides some attachment problems. Either her appearance will be too depressed to even wear clean clothes or else when she’s doing well socially (or when ego-inflated by other means) she’ll make herself as attractive as she can. Which makes sense given her felt need to be attractive. (Thank goodness we all reflect externally enough to keep track of all of our problems.) If you look at the DSM entry on BPD, all nine criteria fit her pretty well. Though also she’s often tormented by Natasha. Her access to the rest of the system is pretty bad; she’s especially prone to amnesia, and she’s a bit in denial, still.

Natasha: The arch-persecutor. She’s angry and violent, usually towards us. She doesn’t really trust anyone outside the system, so she abuses us to keep us safe from them. I can’t remember her fronting for a long enough period of time to really have much to say about how she acts outside.  We’re learning to work with her. I hope someday she can be okay. As much as we fight, I do care about her. I understand why she’s easy to dislike, though.

Jeanine: She’s a bit farther away from me in the system so I don’t know her very well. I can see the playlist she made for herself on Spotify is totally the most unique. (We all share one account, and most of us have playlists for ourselves.) She can be way more fight-y than most. I used to think she was just basically the protector that followed Jasmine, but she’s spent enough time out on her own that I’m not so sure. (While interactions go in all sorts of directions, I seem pretty close with Natalia, Jasmine with Jeanine, and Victoria with Natasha.) She’s not as mean as Natasha, not as self-assured as I or Natalia, not as responsible as Natalia, not as energetic as me, but she is nonetheless aggressive, energetic, self-assured, and responsible.  The hard rock/heavy metal section of our closet basically only exists for her.

Jasmine: The other teenager in the system. Except she’s also about as sad as Victoria. Thankfully instead of having outbursts, she’ll just glue herself to a couch and sleep for two weeks excepting when she absolutely has to get up. And even then, while most of us can pull it together for a social obligation (like, Victoria can attempt suicide, fail, and then go to work or a party or whatever), Jasmine will actually call off.  Which I guess means when we actually need a break for whatever reason, she is the best-equipped to handle it. She’s also either aro/ace or close to it, so she’s useful for romantic failure. Though the intensity of her platonic feelings can be a bit much. As I write this, I’m realizing who’s going to be handling all the writing we have to do. Hint: It’s mostly me, featuring Natalia. Victoria will help when she’s not crashing. Jeanine and Jasmine are less helpful since their life ambitions are more artistic than academic. (Which is another good hint as to who’s out: We don’t even have the same long term ambitions!) I’m pretty sure she’s still the only one with her hairstyle. It looks good, so I wouldn’t be surprised if someone else uses it sometimes. That said, she also easily puts the most effort into her appearance. (We make a good team, what with me having the will to buy nice clothes and her wanting to wear them. If only we got to be together more. Someday, hopefully.)

Emily: The child of the system. She’s seven years old, and she can’t talk. She also pretty much only comes out deep in the night or when there’s a fight. I imagine her childishness and silence is pretty identifiable. Everyone except maybe Natasha cares about her a lot. We do our best to take care of her, though admittedly we dream of someday someone else caring about her, too. Best I can tell, she’s stuck in a neverending flasback of trying to get help but finding nobody. I don’t know what trauma she’s holding, and I’m a little intimidated by the idea of finding out.

Lizzie: She used to be out more, I think. She wanted to get into politics and redirected our life in that direction for a bit. We all call her the bleeding heart of the group, though she’s less into the direct and forceful caring like Natalia and more into standing up for people and being a force for more widespread good. She also had quite the incident a few months ago in the inner world with Natalia and Victoria. She stopped coming out as much as Natalia picked up where she left off. Someone else will have to fill in more on her.

Olivia: She’s not out much, but also I know she feels pretty good about herself. Probably at least as good as I do about myself. She used to use our legal name, though mostly because she felt the most strongly connected with it. Like, she said for once she actually felt like that person. We realized her using that name is super confusing, though, and led people to think she’s the “core”, “original”, or otherwise the One Alter Worth Saving. Which is, on the one hand, just false. Maybe she was the first, but maybe Emily was! Or maybe I was! All being first means though is being the first one to form out of the not-yet-unified infant mind. If we ever do fuse, that will be removing the barriers between us, not destroying any of us. But that’s like putting a jigsaw puzzle together--there’s no “core piece” of a puzzle that all the others fuse to.  Anyway, I don’t know her super well because she’s not very active, inside or out. So I’m tapping into stuff from like six months ago. But hey, if we do get her out, she does at least know how to handle the social professional world pretty well. Or maybe her confidence and assertiveness just works to her advantage in our current setting.

Marina: Last seen in September, she’s not out much, and she’s incredibly intense. She’s closest to me, and I don’t see much of her. I imagine if I’m in dire need of someone to unleash hell outwardly, she might pop in? She really doesn’t like the system as a whole and will actively thwart others’ efforts. I think ever since I stopped being so apathetic towards the others she hasn’t had her chance to come out, since usually we’d tag team, me taking advantage of the system and her just destroying it. Now I take care of ourselves. (Maybe someone else will have a better view of her, though. Maybe I’m wrong about being closest with her.)

Adrianna: She hasn’t been around much lately, though she used to be. Only one who had to have a name assigned to her since her self-esteem is so low she wouldn’t give herself one. (She called herself “nameless” in our notebook. And if it wasn’t clear from the Olivia paragraph, some of us are trying to actually run this system instead of continuing the complete chaos that came from having a mysterious personality roulette for years.) I don’t remember her super well. I think she’s a bit more of a pushover than anyone else, at least. Like, Victoria may get attached, but she does at least know how to speak up for herself. Adrianna is good enough at handling troubling emotions to stay functional while keeping her suffering hidden. Though she does talk to us a lot when she’s out. 

Angelica: I know she exists, because she made a note of it in our notebook, but I don’t really know her. Not around much, to my knowledge.

-Maria

[snowstories]

I love your blog and your autistic and aro headcanons! I just wanted to ask: I'm [probably] not an autistic person but sometimes yours and other autistic people's headcanons and writing about experiences inspire my own autistic character headcanons. I worry I should not be making these headcanons (in case I'm misinterpreting your experiences or being unintentionally Terrible) but if you have any advice on this I'd be grateful! No worries if not, as well. Keep being your fantastic self

This is a really sweet message thank you so much! As a general rule, there’s nothing wrong with allistics making autistic headcanons; in fact, I’d personally really like to see that be something that grows more mainstream, because it’d mean normalization of autistic headcanons/characters and show a general growing interest in actually learning about autism. So please, do go ahead and make your headcanons! There’s no problem with them!

That said, it’s also unfortunately true that some allistics (often a lot of them) who make autistic headcanons can fall into some common ableist (or not necessarily ableist but still kind of unfortunate) pitfalls, so in case you’re worried about that (although honestly the fact that you sent this ask in the first place probably means that you’re good anyway), here’s some tips and tricks to avoid common issues with allistic autistic headcanons (there’s an oxymoron if I ever heard one):

Please don’t use functioning labels for your autistic characters. Functioning labels are labels like ‘high-functioning’ and ‘low-functioning’, and they’re generally considered to be bad by the autistic community for a variety of reasons (more here (although most of the links are dead), here, here (under ‘We Are One Community’), here). However, I’ve noticed a lot of allistics (and ignorant autistics too) who add these onto their headcanons. Please don’t? 

More of a personal thing, but please don’t separate your autistic headcanons into ‘Aspergers’ and ‘autism’. Aspergers is autism, and with the updated DSM, does not exist anymore and has been merged into the overarching diagnosis of ASD. Classifying specific characters as ‘aspies’ is alienating to autistics who aren’t aspies. If aspies themselves headcanon characters as aspies I don’t mind, but when allistics do it I get Suspicious. 

This also goes for separating your autism diagnosis into ‘PDD-NOS’ and ‘classical autism’, but I pretty much never see that so it has lower priority.

Full disclosure though: I have very negative experiences with the Aspergers diagnosis in general and I hate it so much that I have ‘aspie’, ‘aspergers’, and ‘aspergers syndrome’ just straight up blacklisted. I’m not an unbiased source here. 

While we’re on the topic of correct language usage, please use identity first language for your autistic headcanon, not person first language (identity first: autistic person; person first: person with autism). The majority of the autistic community prefers identity first language because we don’t feel like our autism can be separated from who we are (more here, here). 

Also maybe refrain from using the phrases ‘ASD’, ‘on the spectrum’, ‘somewhere on the autism spectrum’, etc. and just use ‘autistic’ instead. There’s nothing inherently Problematic(TM) about those phrases, but it’s really weird to read an entire autistic headcanon that doesn’t use the word autistic, or seems to want to avoid using it. 

Don’t use infantilizing language! Maybe think twice before calling your autistic headcanon a ‘precious baby’ or a ‘smol child’ or something, especially if they’re a grown adult. I mean, doing this once in the tags of a post when they’re being cute or something is fine, but do NOT do this on posts where you talk about them being autistic, and do NOT do this on a regular basis.

Do NOT compare them to inhuman things like animals, computers, or aliens. Just. Don’t. Ever.

Be careful headcanoning inhuman characters as autistic. It’s generally not inherently problematic, especially not in fantasy/sci-fi shows where the majority of the cast is inhuman, but it gets really tiring to only ever see the robot/alien headcanoned as autistic, and it promotes our dehumanization. Just examine your patterns and maybe try headcanoning a human character as autistic as well in those sci-fi/fantasy shows?

This goes more for robots/aliens than for things like elves. Robots/aliens tend to be autism-coded, which has lead to the negative stereotype that autistics are like robots, and the very literal alienation of autistic people. Elves, on the other and, are not historically autism-coded, and are generally considered super cool and graceful and such, so headcanoning them as autistic is pretty much always okay.

If possible, promote autistics who make content for your autistic headcanon! Read their fics! Reblog their headcanon posts! If you can’t find stuff that’s fine, and you can definitely make your own stuff as well, but if you can, promote autistics!

Related, listen to autistics! Not just when we tell you something is problematic, but if you’re making headcanons, it’s a good idea to have at least a base knowledge of our experiences and the issues we face, so that you don’t accidentally do something problematic. (Anon seems to have this down already, but since this is more of a general list, I’m putting it on anyway). ASAN and the Autism Women’s Network are both fantastic places to start learning about autism, Autism Speaks is the devil and to be avoided at all costs, and there’s plenty of autistic bloggers on this site, so maybe follow some autism blogs!

Don’t put an ‘I’m allistic so tell me if I said something bad!’ disclaimer on your autistic headcanon posts. This is a good habit when writing Serious Posts, but for headcanons, it’s unnecessary and generally kinda weird. It’s not Problematic(TM), and I understand having anxiety and insecurity when making headcanons for something outside of your experience, but it’s. Kinda annoying. Do it in the tags instead; that way people can still be informed about the fact that you’re allistic, without it being obnoxiously on the post no matter what you do.

Don’t write fic specifically about being autistic - you are not autistic and you’re probably gonna get something wrong. Instead, incorporate your autistic headcanon into fics about something else. It’s fine if the autism features heavily, just... no ‘x always knew they were different’ or ‘x has always seen the word in a different light due to the fact that they’re autistic’-centric fics. 

Exception: you can write fics about being autistic provided you have an autistic beta/sensitivity reader. And if you do, mention it somewhere on the fic. Idk about other autistics, but unless an autism-centric fic seems like it was written by an autistic, I scroll right past it, because they tend to be very ableist if they’re written by allistics. So if you have an autistic sensitivity reader, mention it.

Headcanon lists are fine though! Headcanon lists are generally less intensive and require less ability to ‘get into someone’s head’ than fic writing, so if you want to say ‘I headcanon x as autistic because y reasons’ or ‘x is autistic and they stim in the following ways/have meltdowns/script/etc.’ that’s fine and cool!

Fanart and edits are cool too! Again, there’s less need to get into someone’s head, so drawing a character while stimming or editing the autism/neurodiversity rainbow infinity symbol behind them is just fine!

Every once in a while, sit back and examine the patterns in your autistic headcanons. What kind of characters are you headcanoning as autistic? Do you notice any worrying patterns? For example, are all your autistic headcanons white, or are they all male, or are they all robots/aliens, or do you also just so happen to headcanon all of them as aro/ace and/or unavailable for romantic/sexual relationships? That’s not to say that any and all patterns are always bad or ableist (pretty much all of my autistic headcanons are also aspec bc I’m an autistic aspec and I like projecting) (although if your autistic headcanons are always male/white, then yes that’s absolutely bad), but if you find a pattern, examine possible reasons why it exists.

This is a good habit to get into with any kind of minority headcanon, by the way! I’m gonna use LGBT+ headcanons as an example: who are you headcanoning as aspec and why? Do you notice a particular LGBT+ that’s getting left behind in your headcanons? Do you always pick the same character archetype for certain LGBT+ headcanons (for example, cold unapproachable characters as aro or extroverted characters as pan), and if so, why? 

Actually! Examining your patterns in fandom behaviour in general is good. If you notice you usually don’t like female characters, then that’s probably something you should examine. If you notice that all your faves are white and that you are more interested in white background characters than main characters of colour, you should examine that. If you notice that, even though you like this minority character or headcanon, you don’t consume or create any content for them, examine why. 

Problematic fandom behaviour very rarely manifests itself in something that happens once. It’s not inherently wrong to dislike this female character or not to like that ace headcanon, but if you notice that you consistently don’t like or aren’t interested in a particular character or headcanon, or if you notice that you consistently give particular characters particular headcanons, that might be an issue. Like I said, patterns are not always bad, but it’s good to be aware of them in case they are.

I’ll elaborate a bit on autistic aspec headcanons bc that’s such a hot button issue in fandom (bc people are asshats), but the tl;dr is that autistic aspec headcanons are not inherently bad and in fact, as an autistic aspec myself, I rather like them. However, headcanoning the one autistic-coded character as the one aroace in the group unfortunately does happen pretty often (Entrapta from She-Ra comes to mind - I’ve seen SO MANY posts about how everyone is a lesbian in She-Ra except for Entrapta, who is aroace of course, and it’s... pretty suspicious). But that’s not to say that you cannot headcanon autistic-coded/headcanoned characters as aspec; I elaborate more on this topic here (featuring a GREAT addition by @aroworlds!). Just examine your patterns and why they exist.

So this is not something that Inherently Problematic(TM), but it’s very annoying to me, so here goes: maybe diversify your autistic headcanons. I’m not saying ‘make sure your autistic headcanons are also poc/lgbt/etc.’ (although that’s very cool too), but just... diversify the autism itself. Often, it’s the exact same character archetype that gets headcanoned as autistic, and as an autistic whose autism tends to manifest in less typical ways, it gets... annoying. 

Examples of typical autism tropes: the eccentric (computer/science) genius, the robot/alien, the socially awkward.traumatized loner, etc.

Examples of characters frequently headcanoned as autistic: Tony Stark (eccentric computer genius), Bruce Banner (socially awkward science genius), Pidge from Voltron (eccentric computer/science genius), Keith from Voltron (socially awkward loner alien), Entrapta (eccentric computer/science genius), Sherlock Holmes (eccentric genius), etc.

Also note how 90% of these characters are skinny white guys.

Seriously it’s 100% more likely for a skinny white guy to get headcanoned as autistic than it is for any character of colour and/or female character to get headcanoned as autistic, PLEASE examine your biases.

Examples of character archetypes that damn near never get headcanoned as autistic: team leaders, extroverted/loud characters, team heart (aka the ‘team mediator’, the glue that keeps people together), etc.

Examples of autistic headcanons I have that are non-conventional/less common: Allura from Voltron (team heart, leader), Hunk from Voltron (team heart), Arthur from BBC Merlin (leader), Kaldur’ahm from Young Justice (leader).

All of these characters are pretty damn autism-coded, and while it’s not... impossible to find content for some of these, there’s generally a lot less for them. 

What I’m getting at is that, because the stereotypical autism-coded character of the eccentric computer nerd/socially awkward loner/robot/alien looms larger in the public consciousness, there’s a confirmation bias when it comes to these kind of characters. This often gets coupled with the stereotype that all autistic people are white boys, which results in a whole lot of the same white guys being headcanoned as autistic, even when other characters are just as if not more autism-coded. 

It’s not Problematic(TM) to headcanon more stereoypically autism-coded characters as autistic, and it’s honestly not even Problmatic(TM) to only headcanon those characters as autistic, especially not if an autistic person who does present like that relates to those characters or if an allistic isn’t sure about their headcanons and wants to play it safe. But it does lead to a very monotone depiction of autism, and leads autistic people who don’t fit the stereotypical mold (me!) to feel left out. So, if possible, try researching lesser known autism traits or just generally thinking a bit out of the box when making autism headcanons.

It’s definitely bad to only headcanon skinny white guys as autistic though. Like I know I’ve said this 50 times now, but seriously, fandom racism and sexism (or a neat combination of the two in case of female character of colour) is SUPER noticeable in autistic headcanons. 

And lastly: when in doubt, ask an autistic! Asking questions isn’t illegal, and if you’re not sure about whether x thing you want to do is okay, just shoot an autistic (who is okay with questions) an ask! I’m always open for questions about autism and such (and I love talking about it so that’s a bonus), so don’t be afraid to hit me up for further info!

[hachibe]

11 questions asked and answered (SKAM edition)

Rules:

1. Always repost the rules!

2. Answer the questions given to you by the one who tagged you!

3. Give 11 questions!

4. Tag 11 people!

tagged by @illgiveyouahint , thanks!!!

1) Favourite remake version of each of the seasons? s1 - none, idk i don’t think any remake has made me like their s1 as much as i like original s1. s2 - DRUCK, I have my problems with it but it's the only remake that took it upon themselves to make that season better not being afraid to change things. s3 - DRUCK as well. the changes in the characters made everything exciting to see. every time they did something different we went

and every time it was the same we went

s4 - since so far france has been the only one who went as far as s4 i have to say none, because i didn't like what they did with it.

2)Which characters do you think would absolutely not get along?

I have no idea, really. Maybe all the Noora’s wouldn’t like each other. The p-Chrises as well. In the other hand I think all the Sana’s would love to hang out together. The Chrises as well, they would totally love each other. 

3)Favourite non-canon mlm ship? Eskild x Mahdi. SRLY, that pic of them hugging in the kosegruppa christmas party had me sending. 

And then we saw them hugging again in the eid party. And some one wrote a beautiful fic of Mahdi realizing he might not be that straight and deciding to try something with Eskild and Isak being pissed at it that I completely love.

4)Favourite non-canon wlw ship? All the wlw ships are non-canon! (sure i’m not considering spain and austin) idk I've been robbed of my Evilde. And I would love for any remake to take notice of this and make it right. Besides that, any wlw ship is welcome.

5)Which character would you like to 👀 guest ⭐ in which remake (other than Eskild in SkamNL)? Anybody in any remake. Wouldn't it be cool if we get random characters in random remakes for no reason whatsoever than our delight? I would love for character to meet. Like maybe take the fact that Matteo is half italian and send him to meet some characters from skam italia. But not Martino, somebody else. Maybe his gradma lives near Silvia's parents or something. With all the Nooras going to Madrid they could meet the spanish people altough i don't care for the spanish people. Maybe someone in skam france is related to someone from SKAM.  Oh!!! Make Arthur be related to Stefan!!!!! And since Matteo and David are currently in/on their way to Amsterdam maybe make them meet some of the dutch kids.

6)What would a remake in your country (assuming it would somehow be possible to make it) look like? I guess it depends on which tv company it gets made. But in my dream world it would not be made by any TV channel we have here, but by some production company that keeps it online but invests heavily in advertising (i think here in Brasil the ads would be super important for spreading it), with the enough amount of money to make it justice.

I would love for it to take place in some capital but like in one of the interior states or in the northeast region. Anything out of São Paulo/Rio de Janeiro/South. Something in nordeste would be so cool! Heavy slang/accent not even the rest of the country understands; beautiful beaches; people taking overcrowded buses, people skipping classes, people drinking way too young, carnaval in nordeste ♥, idek what kind of parties teenagers in nordeste have, but i would like to see. Catholic holidays. Afro-brazilian religions, brown people everywhere! one token white guy, Wilhelm probably. Football!, lots of memes! Trying to incorporate twitter in the narrative. Lot's of dissatisfaction with the current government, especially if it takes place in nordeste. give me money i would do it. and i'll even make sure to put some 'ele não' stickers in every single clip.

7)What would a season based on your life look like? What would it concentrate on? Boring probably. Maybe deal with mental health, growing up in religious household, coming to terms with my sexuality. And how everything intersects.  

8)Do you have a character you headcanon as aro,ace or nb? I must confess I'm terrible at headcanoning. I usually go with mostly established fancanons. Like, I like non binary Mikael, and aro/ace Lin and theirs remakes counterparts (mostly druck because italia doesn't have one and I fucking hate the french one. is Esra Lin? was there one in skam austin? i dropped s2)

9)Assuming you have 👀 original Skam, would you like the cast & crew to come back and do any future seasons/films to update us on the characters? Yes. Years in the future I wouldn't mind to see a special or a film about them and where they are in life. Skins did it and it was amazing. I'm sure if Julie wants it can be done. (i just hope she doesn't half ass some of the characters like she did in those books like 'you, you and you very detailed future and you, you and you *looks smudge in hand* idk kindergarten teacher'.)  

10) What was the order you 👀 the versions in and do you think it influenced you which versions are your favourite? No, I don't think the order in which i watched the remakes has any bearing in my favouritism. But the order I watched it was as they came out. Skam france first, then Druck and Skam Italia. Later then, Skam Austin and Skam nl. It took me a while to watch Skam Spain and I still haven't seen Wtfook. I just got to a point I was so dead tired of seeing the same thing again and again with no significant changes whatsoever.

11) Do you think the fandom is just too negative or do you 👀 it as a valid criticism? I don't like to think about the fandom so generalized like this. I think there can be a lot of negativism but it also there's a lot of valid criticism. And I think both are valid. I mean, and especially with a show with a format such as skam and it's remakes, it calls a lot to instant reactions. A clip drops and we might get mad and pissed by the direction of the plot or characters or whatever, and it's okay. Might we be wrong by tomorrow? Yes. So? ... Like, let people be mad, let people be wrong, let people be happy. You might not agree and that's okay, but let people be. All your sentiments are valid, even if they diverge from other people's. One thing I hate is posts that start like "people need to stop thinking...." or "people need to see....". We need to accept that people are different, people have different opinions, and just because they are different they don’t have a different place in fandom than you. This also leads to people ignoring criticism because if you like something that something must be perfect. And I read a lot of posts with the tone of 'if you don't like it, drop it, stop watching, etc' and I don't think that's the road to go either. So let's be more accepting of each other, i guess.

So, my questions: *i’ll be copying some questions because they are good*

1. What skam and each remake you watched taught you?

2. What would you tell someone to convince them to watch skam and every remake? At least one thing for each one that you’ve watched. 

3. Was there any moments that shocked you?

4. Set you would like to visit?

5. What character would you go for advice?

6. Favourite scene in a remake that wasn’t on the original?

7. If you could go on a date with any character, who would it be?

8. If you could make a season for one character, who would it be?

9. Is there a character you didn’t like in original that you ended up liking in the remakes?

10. If you could watch only one episode for the rest of your life which one would it be? (one for skam and one for each of the remakes, it doesn’t have to be the same)

11. If there was a skam remake but that took place in university with one would you like to see?

I don’t know if I know 11 people! aoidoaijdaosidj So i’m tagging these people but feel free to completely ignore me if you don’t want to do this. @fille-lioncelle @hjertetssunnegalskap1 @smores100 @viro-major @tulaqis @procrastinatingbisexual @ilovenyclife @harryxtimmy ANd hey, if you happen to see this post and wants to do it, just go and do it!!!

[alchemical-anya]

A Different Kind of LAMP

Hi, guys! So this is my first time posting any kind of fic writing for Sanders Sides! I was inspired by a post I’ve seen floating around about how polyamorous relationships can take many forms, not just the one most commonly represented in most LAMP material. So here we are! I plan to write at least a couple fics on this, but decided an AU post establishing the basics would be best to start this off.

Triggers: Mention of a sexual relationship (there are no specifics or anything graphic though); Anxiety and Panic Attack mention (again no descriptions); Brief Food Mention

No others that I can think of but let me know if there’s something else I should tag please! I want everyone to be safe reading this!

Logan is Aro-Ace, Patton Demi-Pan, Roman is hella gay, Virgil is bisexual, and possibly demiromantic.

Logan and Virgil are QPPs. Patton and Virgil are more romantically involved than anything. Roman has a sexual and romantic relationship with both Virgil and Patton.

Virgil and Roman were the first to get into a relationship.

Patton joined next.

Logan didn’t really join until a while after the other got together because he wasn’t aware of what a QPP was. He didn’t look into it until he realized that his relationship with Virgil was closer and, in a way, more intense than a regular friendship.

He proposed the idea to Virgil and, after a little bit of explanation as to what exactly that meant, Virgil excitedly agreed to it.

Patton and Roman were very happy for them when they announced it.

Because Virgil is very close to all three of them, whenever he’s feeling anxious or overwhelmed, he always has someone he can go to.

Virgil could sit for hours with Logan as he types or reads or gets work done, but the moments he lives for with the Logical side are when he gets to lay back, maybe even have his head in Logan’s lap, while he gushes about one of his interests. He loves seeing Logan let go of his stern facade and explain why space is so cool, or why Nikola Tesla deserved a better lot in life, or even something he never expected Logan to like, including surprising song choices. Getting lost in Logan’s interests helps him get his mind off what’s worrying him and relieves his anxiety.

Logan researches ways to help someone with anxiety feel better, how to prevent an oncoming panic attack, and how to comfort and care for someone after one has happened. With Virgil’s permission, Logan shares his findings with the other two so they can help him if Lo is unavailable. Virgil is eternally grateful, and finds his calm, smooth demeanor quite grounding in times of need.

The most physical they ever get is leaning on each other while sitting on the couch, or maybe holding hands during the occasional movie night. Every once in a blue moon one of the will kiss the other on the cheek good night.

Virgil is thankful for Logan’s directness. It allows them to very openly discuss their relationship and their boundaries, and if there is ever a problem, Virgil knows Logan won’t judge him for it, and vice versa.

Logan, of course, has a good relationship with the other two, but it’s more familial than anything else. They care for each other, but it’s nowhere near the relationship he has with Virgil.

Patton is quite lovey-dovey in general, but tones it down a little so he doesn’t overwhelm Virgil and make him uncomfortable. They do cuddle quite a bit, and go on dates once every one or two weeks, usually to see a movie, or go to a dog park to pet some dogs, or have dinner.

They rarely go to very romantic restaurants by themselves. Roman is almost always there when they do.

Patton and Virgil have been known to kiss, but it’s usually more tender, slower kisses, and single kisses don’t tend to be very long for them.

Patton always invites Virgil to help him bake, as he knows the step-by-step process of it can be a little calming to him. Plus, Virgil never says no to brownies.

Patton asks for Roman’s help with cake decorating a lot of the time. He always produces beautiful piped flowers.

Patton loves giving gifts to see the others smile, and of course he includes Logan in this too. It’s almost like he has some kind of psychic ability; he always knows exactly what to get people. He never expects anything in return and tears up with joy when someone gives him something, even if it’s the tiniest thing.

Patton is the only one of the three who can make Virgil giggle like crazy with his silliness and occasional bouts of lovable air-headedness… also DAD JOKES.

The only person both Patton and Virgil have a sexual relationship with is Roman. Roman absolutely adores both of his boyfriends and showers them in praise, kisses, and sickeningly sweet, sappy love songs and poems.

He loves to give them flowers, and will sometimes give yellow roses to Logan too, just to make sure he knows he’s important to him too, even if they have their disputes. (Yellow roses=friendship)

As a hopeless romantic, he loves pampering them and taking them on the most over-the-top romantic or thoughtful dates. Sometimes they all go together (and every once in a while convince Logan to go along), but many times Roman takes them individually. He plans the perfect date to fit the person he’s going with to make sure they have a great time.

Virgil and Roman share witty banter and sometimes light-hearted disputes, but at they end of the day they both love each other.

At night, Patton, Roman, and Virgil tend to sleep in the same bed. Logan only ever sleeps alone. He is very uncomfortable with sharing a bed, and Virgil respects that.

When Virgil is spending time with Logan, Roman and Patton are usually found cuddling and watching Disney movies together. Sometimes they are spending some *cough cough* quality time in one their rooms.

Though Patton and Virgil both have a sexual relationship with Roman, they do not with each other and keep sexy times separate.

Roman loves to impress, and though acts like a macho tough guy, absolutely melts and his heart swells when Patton praises him for anything, even just telling him he looks nice that day. Patton is more than happy to compliment Roman as much as he wants/needs to hear it.

Patton and Roman definitely kiss more often than Patt does with Virgil, but he still tends to prefer the softer, slower kisses.

Roman and Virgil are an entirely different story when it comes to kissing. They have some full blown make-out sessions. Logan is not pleased when he walks into the common spaces and finds them like that. He then calls a meeting to define what people can do where. The others happily oblige.

They love spending time as a group, either playing board/video games, or watching a movie, or eating a meal. It doesn’t matter.

When they do have movie nights, often Roman and Patton will cuddle each other, one of them holding Virgil’s hand or resting a hand on his thigh while his other hand is occupied with Logan’s.

Their relationships work because all completely trust one another and know they can rely on the others to communicate with them if there is a problem, or listen without if they need to address something. They all love each other, even if “love” is defined differently between each pair.

[princeofraspberries]

I wrote a very long post the other day about why being ace on tumblr sucks. I didn’t post it, because I didn’t feel the need to add to the discourse. again.

However. I’m going to follow it up with a post about being aro on tumblr.

I logged on to tumblr today to see someone reblog a long post bashing QP relationships.  It wasn’t anything new.   It was “Oh, you mean FRIENDSHIP?” and the person had tagged it “god, this post is so embarrassing.” 

About the person who had posted the definition of QP in an attempt to be helpful and spread knowledge that was relevant to the OP’s point.  The person who was actually trying to be helpful was, of course, quickly shut down by the rest of the people in the post.

And you know what, I’m sorry if you’re embarrassed by someone politely explaining that a QP is different.  I’m sorry if you’re embarrassed to listen to people who don’t GET romance who are trying to make sense of their lives and experiences on an online forum where we can talk to each other.

But I am very tired of people being dismissive because they don’t give a shit enough to bother with empathy.

Hi. Let me introduce myself. My name’s Nina. I’m ace, I’m aro, and there’s someone in my life I love who someday I would like to get a farm with and spend time with and live with and cook for and cuddle with and spend too long watching movies with, and support, and continue to love and get lots of pet bunnies with, and maybe a ball python or two. We first started realizing how close we were when we came across the word “queerplatonic” on tumblr.  She asked “do you think that might be us?” and I said “yeah, I think so.”

Since then, I have written and posted at least five things about being aromantic on tumblr, and received rude, dismissive responses to all of them.  I have continued to be happy with this person.  We hope to be able to move in together some time in the next few years.  I have also gotten a lot of messages in my inbox about people telling me how important those posts have been to them that I wrote, because they didn’t feel like anyone else felt like that.

And the stupid-ass posts about “LOL I’m so embarrassed that people try to define their experiences as different from mine” continue.  I see my mutuals reblog them.  I see them tag them “yikes.”  I see them shut down aro people trying to talk about their experiences.  I see them silencing words that might be useful for young aros to know. 

My QP and I haven’t used the word queerplatonic in two years, because despite the fact that it’s the best word we have to describe our experience, the number of people on here who use it as a “gotcha, special snowflake!” far, far outstrips the number of aro people.  We swapped to “quasiplatonic” for a while when people decided ace/aro people weren’t queer enough.  And then eventually stopped having words we were comfortable with using to describe our relationship altogether.

But there are aro people.  Most of them don’t write essays when they get mad like I do.  They just see you reblog something that tells them their experience isn’t what they think it is.  They see you mock them for trying to explain what their relationship is like-- knowing it’s different than friendship, hating the implications of “just” friends, but not having the words to explain.  Because every time we try to, someone who thinks they know our experiences better than us decides to be smug and shut us down.

It’s hard to explain your point of view when you have no words to do it with. Taking away someone’s words silences them.  And it silences their experiences, which may, shockingly, be different from your own. And it makes it even harder for them to figure out what’s going on with their own identity. 

And just because “friendship” and “quasiplatonic” seem the same from an outsider’s perspective, doesn’t mean that they are.  Doesn’t mean that young aro kids coming to terms with their identity don’t need a word to describe their relationship with That Person who is much, much more to them than anyone else has been, but “girlfriend” isn’t quite it, and you know, they’ve had best friends before, of course, but this isn’t that either, it’s something much more than that.

And then you find a community where you can talk about what that’s like.

And then everyone outside that community goes out of their way to talk about how you’re dumb for wanting words to describe your experiences, and goes out of the way to mock you casually at every opportunity, and pounces on every single time someone in the community is a shithead, and holds THAT person up as the Prime Example of your identity.

I, personally, am queer.  I don’t have to explain to you why.  But even after you’ve shut down “queerplatonic” on a technicality (for fuck’s sakes, Rutgers’ LGBTQIA+ group is called Q-munity, and lgbtqia studies are called “queer” studies, if you have a problem with aces and aros using the word, that sounds like you might just have a problem with aces and aros period), you can’t just go after every single word ace and aro people use to try to explain what their lives are like, just because you don’t believe their experiences.  

There may be more of you than there are us, but this is definitely a you problem, and in the interest of not gratuitously shitting on every ace and aro person who happens to follow you, I suggest you get it sorted out. Because that just makes you an asshole.