#tagged some mutuals and non mutuals bc why not?

[mousemannation]

i spent 3 months learning hungarian in 2018 bc i had a hungarian tumblr mutual so really it's only a matter of time before one of u gets a surprise

[corrodedbisexual]

The ultimate shadow ban survivor guide

I've seen multiple people I follow, or their mutuals affected by shadow bans lately (makes me wonder if it's @staff's attempts to fight bots going totally haywire). As someone who survived a 2-month-long shadow ban on my main this winter, I thought I'd make a post.

First step of being shadow banned: calm down and take a breath. A shadow ban is just a stupid glitch in tumblr's anti-spam system. You're not losing your blog. You're gonna need a whole lot of patience, and deal with inconveniences, but it's fixable.

Read the incredibly useful post All About Shadowban by @that-damn-girl. It outlines the symptoms quite well. The only thing I'd point out is "your original posts won’t be visible to your followers either" - afaik that doesn't happen. Everything you post and reblog will still be visible to your followers, and also they can interact with your posts - like them, reblog them, reply to them.

Just like the post says, contact support. I recommend using a different email than what your banned blog is registered to; not because your ticket won't go through (mine actually did, as I found out when they finally replied), but because you might not receive an email confirmation for your ticket (it's somehow tied to the anti-spam thing, I think), and you're going to worry and try to send more tickets, like I did.

Now wait. And wait, and wait, and wait. They are SLOW. I've seen some miraculous 1-day unbans in the #shadow ban tag, but most people, like me, wait around a month for support to reply. Those are the same guys going through thousands of bot reports every day in addition to user tickets.

If you're going to wait, might as well keep blogging. Now if this is your sideblog that's shadow banned, consider yourself lucky. Make a new temporary sideblog, use it to post your original stuff so it goes into tags (mind that it might take a few days for a new blog to start showing up in tags). Reblog everything to your shadow banned blog so you still have all content in one place and your followers see it. If it's your main that's banned, you can still do that, but there's the extra pain of not being able to reply to posts or send non-anon Asks, since that is only done from main. Might need to register a separate account for that.

Some more fun facts under readmore.

Fun fact #1

Trying to send support follow-up emails in the request confirmation email isn't going to do anything to speed up the process. But I did tweet at them using this tumblr support summoning picture by @cornmayor and offered a raccoon blood sacrifice to resolve my issue when it was like a month with no response. This is what they replied.

3 hours later I got an email that my shadowban was lifted. I honestly don't know if it was a coincidence, but I mean, this is tumblr staff. Maybe they do accept blood sacrifices.

Fun fact #2

If you're wondering why my shadow ban lasted 2 months if I got a support reply after 1 month, well. It's hard to say exactly how their ban/unban system works bc support replies exclusively with pre-written template sentences, but basically they fucked up. The first time they told me my blog has been restored, I gained pretty much all functions back, except that my posts were still not appearing in tags. Which means probably that being hidden from tags is some kind of different flag on your blog that they forgot to remove. So I had to send a follow-up ticket and wait another month.

My advice is, when they tell you it's fixed, don't take that at face value, go and check all the functions you'd lost (replies, messaging, asks, tagging, appearing in notes, getting mentioned by others).

[vintagelacerosette]

Wednesday tag game

Hiii darling angelpies! I am here on timeish 😆

I was tagged by these dazzling sweethearts Nosho @creepkinginc Mel @gardenerian Evie @energievie Deanna @deedala Kat @ mybrainismelted Julia @blue-disco-lights Al @spookygingerr Jessica @guinguin1984

How did you get into the fandom?

Like a lot of us 😆 I saw a fan edit of Mickey & Ian on YouTube (I can't find it again even when I've searched my history 😭) I was kinda in between fandoms at the time with Malex from Roswell New Mexico but they were broken up at the time & buddie lol.

But then I was shot through the heart when I went through the gallavich tag & it felt like home 🥰

How long have you been here?

I was lurking at the end of 2021 & the first official time I contributed to this darling fandom in Feb 2022 with gallacrafts 💝

What's the first fandom channel you found? (youtube, reddit, tumblr, insta, twitter, FB, other?)

Here on tumblr babeeeyy

What's your favourite now?

Still tumblr but I wish I was better on discord 😅 I get overwhelmed & don't wanna talk over ppl 😔

Which mutual have you known the longest in the fandom?

Oh my goodness I had no idea but my longest mutual is the always spectacular Calli @callivich 🥰🩵💙 woooww!!

Which tumblerinos did you have your first fandom crush(es) on and wanted to get to know?

Y'all have to understand you are all unbelievably swoon worthy & there's only so many ppl I can tag in one post (damn you tagging limit 😣)

Ok, so definitely have a big crush on Deena @suzy-queued & to see smitten feeling is mutual got me

GIF by theresaphoenixinmyboot

Alice @darthvaders-wife Jane @captainjowl Mitch @psychicskulldamage when we became mutuals I squealed bc how much talent??

Jenna @ianrightsonly & Kay @goodkwuestion their fics changed me

Also, Benja @svltburn | Nosho | Vey @look-i-love-u Macy @heymacy Julissa @heymrspatel Jo @jomilky Harvey @mikhailoisbaby Georgia @iansw0rld Molly @deathclassic Stas @messedwithmandy Howl @howlinchickhowl Michelle @michellemisfit | Deanna | LJ @ofalltheginjoints Sam @sam-loves-seb Face @ burninface | Calli | AJ @ clingymickey Mills @gallavichsbitch Leah @whatwouldmickeydo

Also Jay!! You've left but gave me butterflies 🦋

Pls I kind hate this question! I've come to the conclusion I have a crush on you all OK?? 😭

This is why I make y'all Valentine's

First gallavich fan fic you read (or that blew you away that you remember)?

By the magnificent Kay The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Ian Gallagher!!! OH MY GOSH JUST THINKING ABOUT THIS FIC MAKES ME FEEL ELATED & FERAL!!! It's my favourite piece of written work & I need my non gallavich ppl to read it so I can scream into their faces how much I love it 🥰🩷🩷🩷

First fan art that blew your mind?

Seriously, Deena's gallacrafts & art always take my breath away!!! Like the artistry & creativity?? I wanna get to your level 🥰

It's three dimensional & has twinkling lights ✨️ I was astounded & my jaw literally dropped 😍

All of Alice's art especially my commissioned art 🩷

Also, Mitch's comic I stared at it forever like Ian's eyes reflecting Mick's booty 🍑👀

Fanfic trope that you were sure wasn't for you but now you low key (or high key) love?

I have read some pretty freaky & nasty fic bc of curiosity, so I nothing really gave me icks in tropes, but in writing style, I got turned around with Jen @wehangout with second person POV. You're so talented that I really enjoyed them when I would nope out before 😆

What surprised you most about this fandom?

Everything surprised me about this fandom bc it was my first one!! 😆 I didn't really know how to do tumblr & didn't really get how to interact. So I used tumblr like a sticker book, then came learning tags & so ppl reached out to me which helped me gain confidence haha

This is kinda a golden standard fandom. So welcoming, loving & encouraging!! If I ever dabble in another fandom, imma have a high standard bc I've been spoiled by y'all! ILY

Moment in the show (or YT vids if you're one of those) that you fell in hyperfixation with gallavich?

It was the "I'm fucking gay" scene to the "Guess what we've been doing daddy" The way he humps the car with all that conviction & screaming "he fucking loves it".

Everything clicked & I was like "Damn I love this fictional man." He is my favourite character of all time & this ship is my OTP & GOAT.

Also I love this edit too. It gives me chills

Ian or Mickey?

Mickey, but holy shit I love them both

Which gallagher or milkovich are you?

I took a page from @/guinguin1984 & did some quizzes & I got Fiona Ian Fiona Debbie not of them feel right ahaha

I guess Fiona bc I had her twice 😅

Consider yourself tagged if I have a crush on you or mentioned you. Also tagging these sunshines & if you wanna do it too, have at it 💛🥰

@lingy910y @mickittotheman @doshiart @crossmydna @y0itsbri @7x10mickey @whatthebodygraspsnot @ms-moonlight-inn @mmmichyyy @sickness-health-all-that-shit @kiinard @transmickey @gallawitchxx @sleepyheadgallavich @rereadanon @whaticameherefor @darlingian @andthatisnotfake @ian-galagher @francesrose3

[inchidentally]

It wasn't me who started crying when I read that Lando and Oscar would one day stop being teammates. This is a strange feeling my body went through. Why did I cry? Why? Oh my God! I don't think I want to experience that.

oh babe trust and believe we're all ???? at how much Lando and Oscar as teammates has hit us it's wilddd <3 they've done absolutely nothing performative or loud but apparently massive amounts of mutual respect is the absolute best drug out there for us.

(under a cut to keep out of teams' tags)

considering how evenly matched Lando and Oscar have been this season and Lando saying over and over again how Oscar has pushed him to be better I'd say we have one of the fairest shots of them deciding to stick together at McLaren beyond 2025 as anyone on the grid apart from Charles and Carlos. I only don't put Lewis and George in there bc no one but Lewis knows how long he's going to stay in F1 and their bond is primarily professional. they like each other for sure but they're in very different positions in their careers to say the least.

but Charles and Carlos are a really good example of two drivers who've found an incredibly solid bond and mutual respect riding out extremely tough times and wildly varying fortunes. the fact that both of them are equally eager to remain with Ferrari in spite of everything is at least in some part because they know their relationship will never become one of the things hindering either of their careers. there have been plenty of moments where outright rivalry or preferential treatment could have altered their dynamic but it never has. they see each other as totally unique drivers with very different careers and can keep all of that rivalry drama out of it (including Carlos' gd family doing their best to try create it w the help of shit stirring fans). Charles and Carlos fully expect the other to fight for the championship as much as the other will but there's no existing history or personal pettiness to muddy that into a problem.

and while it's a totally different dynamic, that's exactly the kind of 'mutual respect above all' type relationship we can see with Lando and Oscar. and to me the fact that Oscar spent at least the previous 8 years getting to know Lando from a distance, plus the fact that Lando has always been so open about his mentality and his mental state, is so specifically helpful to their dynamic. especially because they're so close in age and Lando not being the type to wield his F1 experience over someone else or get all cocky about it. and I think that's specifically in response to how much Oscar chose to let Lando be at the forefront of visibility and demonstrably positioning Lando as The Star. I would NEVER have imagined that Lando would respond so positively and supportively to a rookie teammate winning a sprint win before him. I don't mean that I think he would've been a jerk or petulant, I mean that my expectation was for that win to become a permanent wedge mentally between Lando and Oscar. but nope, he genuinely actively warmed more to Oscar even more after that <3

good god I cannot shut UP but what I'm saying here anon is that we should honestly just not bother thinking about the end of 2025. there's as much likelihood that Lando and Oscar will look at RB and Mercedes and think nah I'm better off here at McLaren as there is either of them going elsewhere. bc driving Max's car or dealing w Toto could easily not be worth it - esp since McLaren seem to have a steadier upward trajectory than say, Aston Marton (so much would have to change for AM to be a forward career move for Lando or Oscar).

quick fic side note but I'm absolutely dying to have the time cleared to read Superdense Neutron Star/Post Supernova bc god I can tell that fic is going to live with me

but the easy, non-compromising relationship they've already formed considering that they're both young and hungry is SUCH a strong pull for staying together at McLaren. Oscar is happy for Lando to be whoever he needs to be and that means Lando will only get higher and higher in the rankings. Lando has responded to Oscar's deference off the track by giving him praise and respect that means any of Oscar's currently unknown to us but inevitable insecurities are taken care of. while no one can say what will happen we can at least say that we've got the best setup for them staying together!

there's also of course the obvious: Lando being so deeply embedded at McLaren and getting star treatment that he wouldn't get anywhere else - and the fact that Oscar took a massive gamble to get to McLaren and has been watching Lando's career so closely for so long. sometimes a career can take so many unfair hits that someone like Alex Albon finds at least temporary stability with a Williams but hope to move on. sometimes a driver can be shrewd and organized enough to get themselves into exactly the right spot like Carlos with Ferrari but he doesn't have complete security. but sometimes it's entirely possible that a young up and comer (or two) finds exactly the right fit from the start of their F1 career and succeeds for years and years!

and looking even further ahead to when they're both closing in on like 30 everything in F1 will be so different that I can't even fathom it so I'm just choosing to not bother! it's like how I see ppl in IG comments saying they hope Oscar marries Lily and I'm like ??? I just see married ppl as SOOOO different to college age that I don't know how people can make those leaps but maybe I'm just super immature lagfljafjh

side side note that while I'm absolutely positive Max and Lando would be horrific in every sense imaginable for Lando, I do occasionally enjoy imagining Oscar there at some point simply bc he's the only driver I can imagine giving RB pause. he's so smart and adaptable that he'd fucking dominate immediately in that car and they'd be braindead to not think hmmmm, this guy is (for example) only 25 and Max is almost 30 - maybe we should let Oscar choose a few specs for himself and see what happens. he could match Max in car smarts, focus and ambition but oooops he also has a sense of calm under stress that Max will never have. Max could openly despise him and it wouldn't affect Oscar's performance at all. and oohhhh to have Oscar be the one to topple the ivory tower nepotism at RB with a nailbiter of a WDC decision in the final race? to see what Max does in response to that? to have Alpine fanboys throwing chicken tendies at the wall watching Oscar's podium where he's also celebrating the championship? ohhhh fuck that's a tantalizing thought.

SORRY lol I really do not see that happening I just find that image so fucking hot. I don't actually want to see Oscar having to deal with RB in reality.

[skrunksthatwunk]

you go to a lesbian blog and find it says women only!! no men allowed!!! and go oh! excuse me, um, what about other lesbians? plenty of lesbians are genderqueer... and they go well, okay, go fuck yourself tim chop off your sweaty dick and stop calling yourself a lesbian. you do not have a dick, actually. you think about that fact often, even though it does you no good. you do not tell this person that.

you go to another lesbian blog and it says women only and you try again, and this time they change it to wlw + nblw only (non-men who love non-men :D). and you'll say hey i appreciate that but gender's not really that cut and dry for a lot of people. someone could be both a man and nonbinary, for instance. i just worry that you're looking at nonbinary as a generic third gender, or an extension of womanhood. i mean yeah you include nblw in your tags but all your posts are about pussy-havers exclusively. what's with that? and they say go fuck yourself you pervy man pretending to be a lesbian. you tried to sneak in but i won't let you.

so you go to a lesbian blog with a dozen or so posts about queer people needing to be more weird about it and you sigh in relief. but you still see the men dni. that's odd. hoping for the best, you say hey! i know you mean well but please maybe don't put men dni at the end of the lovely posts on your lesbian blog bc some lesbians are men. and they'll be like ok!! well you're allowed ;) and you say no that's not. no. some men are lesbians not just me. you think about your own dicklessness and wonder if that's why you were given entry. and you add that even if male lesbians are allowed, there's no indication of that. how would anyone know without asking? and they're like ohh gotcha gotcha well men dni + this is for sapphics only!! and you'll be like ok well that treats the concepts of men and sapphics as mutually exclusive identities and i just told you that's not true and you agreed with me so.. i don't think that solves our problem. and they're like. ok. fine. men dni but genderfluid and multigender people are allowed! and you're like no see that's. that's still the same thing.. you're saying the same thing just with different words. if you don't want men to interact but you're fine with multigender/genderfluid/etc ppl interacting then you either don't see them as Real Men (because they don't reach a standard of Full Manhood) or Complete Men (because they're only Part-Time Men), both of which suggest that they are, in some way, not men or less-than men, which is invalidating and defeats the point of the exception in the first place (accommodation) OR that you don't really mean the dni which is confusing and inconsistent and makes guydykes feel weird and uncomfortable and excluded from the lesbian space you're trying to cultivate. and they're like um. ok. so. cishet men dni? and you're like well i think that makes more sense, but what if someone identifies as both a cishet man and a sapphic? again, if we're trying to accommodate the genderfucky populace then that has to be a possibility that is considered. and they say god you people are never happy. what do you want me to do? what am i supposed to say to keep the right men out? and you pause. you empathize with the need for a space free from dudes trying to fuck you straight and feminine. dudes who watch lesbian porn and joke about what they'd do if they were allowed into girls locker rooms. who look at you like a piece of meat, and like someone who looks at women like pieces of meat in the same way he does. you get it. you know. you want a space where you can be sapphic, too. that's why you came to these blogs in the first place. you brace yourself and you say well i don't know that there are "right men" to keep out. i don't know that there's any single label that would accomplish whatever it is you're trying to accomplish. you could go for "sapphics only" or "queers only" and i think that might be the closest thing to what you want, but it's never going to be perfect. creating any exclusive space is going to shut out people you didn't account for, and the broader the label, the more people will be shut out that you didn't want to shut out. and what about people who don't know if they're allowed? what of questioning transbians, where are they supposed to go? and, frankly, i think i might rather my dykey posts get read and appreciated by a gay guy who sees me as a man than a woman who only sees me as a sacred womb, pure from male perversions or violence or whatever. i think community might just be more complex than a dni can handle. and they look at you and say i don't want to not have a dni. i think you're too permissive. you can't just "what about" or microlabel your way into everything. go fuck yourself, i bet you're not even a lesbian anyway. go find a real problem to get mad about.

you go to a lesbian blog. you ignore the men dni because you know you probably don't even count to them. or maybe you do count and, out of respect for your manhood, they'd shun you accordingly. you try to feel okay about that. you scroll past dozens of posts about mediocre men and gagging at straight friends' boyfriends and how gross and undeserving men are of the beautiful women they couple up with and how all women should be gay so they can get treated right and and and and and. you finally find a post about curling into someone you love and feeling at peace and try to lose yourself in it. you know that feeling is what unites you, what makes you belong. you try to focus on it. you think about carding your hands through a butch's hair or lacing fingers with a femme and feeling warm and loved and more yourself than you ever have before. like this is who you're meant to be. you read about lesboys and butch boytoys and genderfucky dykes and big hairy deep-voiced wonderful women (like you want to be someday, like you wish you could make yourself) and you try to ignore the men dni underneath each and every post. and you daydream about meeting someone kind and earnest at a lesbian bar even though you don't think any such bars exist within three states of you and you can't drink and don't want to drink because you need to be in control of yourself at all times so you don't fuck up like you're always about to and here in the nonexistent lesbian bar you feel wanted and safe and in good company. you picture your ideal, happiest self. it is a mistake. ideal-you has a goatee. not the mascara one you smear on and call drag even though you know it's not drag, not really, the beard you call drag because you think everyone would look at you sadly if you told them it was just to pretend you had something out of your reach. a beard that's soft and that you grew and that cannot be smudged away if you get too comfortable with it. the dream shatters. your people pull away from you, their scoffs mixing with the mind-numbing gay girl bedroom pop you learned to settle for just to have something that almost resembled you, they all pull away and turn their backs and do not look at you. you're too close to being a man now, even though you're the same amount of man as before. and they know you're not supposed to interact with men, not as you would with dykes, at least. and it sours. it's all your imagination, all in your head, but it sours.

you sigh. you think about how small you are. how short, how narrow, how feeble. how your voice pitches up when you talk to strangers because it's easier to speak quietly when it carries more, and because you're nervous. because it's a chore to talk, like everything is. you think about testosterone. you think about how your family would look at you, the questions they would ask, your answers they would only pretend to accept. the uncomfortable glances and whispered questions they'd try to hide from you. you think about how small you are, and how small you will always be. how you don't know of a way to fix it, but even if there was one, no one would want you anymore. you'd be the only one thinking it made you a cooler dyke. you think about how you don't even want a T-voice all the time, how you'll never be able to switch it at will, because you don't know how and can't bring yourself to figure it out. you think about how your throat closes around every hint of your own attraction. how wanting is perverse, how wanting is invasive, how wanting is embarrassing and too vulnerable so it must stay anonymous, as an online witness, and how you can barely manage to form or maintain friendships because your brain makes you pull away, always spinning out and struggling to recover from the simplest of interactions. how they'll all leave you and you won't chase after them at all and how that will hurt them. how stuck you get. how it looks like nothing's holding you back, how that frustrates everyone who thought you were going to be more than you were. the people you love who understand except when it comes to being ghosted, being shut out. how you don't want to hurt them. how you can't tell them that because you're stuck. how you turn to stone when touched, how you never reach out, how you lose your speech and can't look at people, how your autism is fun and sexy until it becomes real and you never see them anymore, how much you longed for someone who knew everything without you having to explain, and who loved you anyway. how unreasonable you know that is to expect of anyone. you think about that not-even-real lesbian bar. you think about how you still can't drive. how you can't leave your home on your own, without dragging somebody into helping you. how you can't leave your body. how you can't leave your manhood behind.

you think about finding another lesbian blog and ignoring everything. about skimming it for the parts you can juice some meaning from. the parts men ignore and don't understand, and how typical of you it is to do so. or the parts where you're not welcome and you should accept that, because it's for lesbians only. how you are a lesbian anyway. how you're meant to choose lesbian or man, how each is a betrayal of some kind to yourself or your people, your family, your lovely strangers, your rare friendly acquaintances. about the parts that tell you you're not wanted, that you're ugly and lazy and gross and insert yourself everywhere without even asking. about the parts that tell you you are hated, and how lesbians are above it all by rejecting men. how lesbians are each blessed miracles. about the parts that say you should be ashamed of being whatever twisted confused freak you are, of everything, of looking and wanting or not looking or not wanting, of picking and choosing instead of taking it all in with a smile. after all, shouldn't you take it? or is your ego too fragile, as men's so often are? aren't you tired? good. we're not here for your consumption. and we sure as hell don't want your company or "community" or whatever. didn't you read the sign? no boys allowed. and if you want to come in you have to make up your mind. as if you haven't told them the only answer you have. you're both. you're both.

you know you broke the rule by interacting.

but it gets lonely sometimes. you wonder if they know.

[thehistoriangirl]

I have another Viktor's fic idea!!!

That I'm not gonna write rn because my 9474948484 unfinished wips are going to murder me 🤡 buuuuuut

Here are some bullet-points list of the plot and stuff because it's giving me kind of brainrot:

Kinda Blind Date!AU

It is silly? Mayhaps. Am I going to write it anyway? Oh yes :D

Tags: Idiots in Love | Mutual Pining | Strangers to Friends to Lovers | Maaaaybe some Fake Dating | Prob Multichapter but not too long |

So Jayce invites Viktor to a party, like usual, though Viktor gets surprised that the party seems to be very secluded and with a very strict dress code.

Viktor asks, because it's weird, and Jayce tells him not to worry about it, that is a tradition to do a party celebrating Valentine's Day.

Anyway, the party happens and Viktor forgets about it. A couple of weeks pass and then someone (Reader) visits him in the lab.

Viktor is puzzled, because he had never talked with them before (Reader works in the Academy too, but in a non-scientific area across campus), although Viktor had seen them sometimes in Progress Day and during the Academy's Anniversary.

Anyway, when he asks you what do you need, and you say that you're here regarding that Valentine's Day party—because the party was, in fact, a matchmaking event. And you got paired with Viktor,

Obviously, and fairly so, Viktor is like ?!??!??!?! Jayce is soooo dead once Viktor sees him again, how didn't he tell him anything about it? But now the priority is to deal with you.

He doesn't know what to do—he's busy working with Hextech as usual, and he has never really thought about the possibility of romance in this period of his life. He's so busy. And it's so pointless, too.

You notice his grimace, and tell him that your parents arranged you to assist to that party, so you could get a suited match bc you're in age of marriage and blablabla. So you ask him if he could go with you on a date, only so your parents could let you alone after 'trying' what the matchmaker prepared for both of you.

Very begrudgingly, Viktor says, "Why not? It would be quickly." BUT THEN—

Shockingly(?!?!), *you* end up liking his nerdy self talking about his work, and he finds you interesting, smart, and kind.

✨️Sparks are flyyyyinggggg✨️ but do you notice? 👀

The date ends, ofc, and you decide to get to know each other's, like friends, because well you two got along well, but Viktor is still confused with his feelings, this is rushed, and strange. He fears going too quickly and ending up hurt.

But then you get to spend more time together and suddenly it's soooo hard to keep the feelings tucked away 👉👈

[rinbylin]

"#their rs is only as equal as he decides it to be" hits the nail on the HEAD for me THANK you. llh and fdb are friends the way parents and children can be friends. fdb makes a very commendable effort at being equals with llh and llh can allow and enjoy it to an extent but there IS a gap. fdb not having access to llh's past puts him in a unique position to understand llh in a way that nobody else does and that IS good for llh, like fresh eyes on such a worn out painful story. but there's also an element of responsibility that llh has for fdb that he doesn't have for dfs. dfs is his equal and can make his own life choices. he only escaped dfs at the end because of dfs's own choice to trust him with the flower, not anything llh could have done. but he can still escape fdb on his own power just fine. ANYWAY EVERY RELATIONSHIP IN THIS SHOW IS KILLING ME IN UNIQUE AND SPECIFIC WAYS thank u for understanding

(for context)

NO THANK YOU for understanding!!!! I didn't even think anyone was going to read [inserts opinion that I think could get me into a situation surrounded by knives] as you can tell I hid it deep in the tags of reblogs of my own non-maintagged post hbhjbhjbhjbj - and even much less agree with something of it

hell yeah. to me their relationship is entirely premised on that gap between them, for better and for worse. that's how fdb can be unique to him but at the same time also puts him out of fdb's reach forever (that's why ep 30 hits hard). it's very likely llh wouldn't have continued with their relationship - at least with the degree of investment he did - if not for finding out his connection to sgd. so the familial element in it is virtually inseparable from the manner they ended up to be with each other. (like also, on top of how how lxy was literally a formative "adult" figure to bb fdb.)

while fdb thinks this is a friendship the whole time, llh actually treats fdb like a younger family member 小辈, with the front of being friends bc he was a Liar hiding his identity. and then post-identity reveal was bc he's just a Liar who doesn't feel the need to load his own problems on a younger member as an elder. (I do think this mismatched perceptions of their relationship is delicious)

also that's such a good add-on regarding dihua's relationship - particularly about the element of trust between them, which is a basis to why I can consider them friends in some dimension even back when they were more of rivals, unlike fdb with llh. like llh/fdb, they contain a paradox: being the ones who understand each other better than anyone else can but also bc they're so up close on each other that they fail to really see each other too. they're equals premised on the circumstance of them being from the same generation with a shared past (that is also part of their tragedy), but also, in a very curious space of it not being entirely mutual - simply due to llh being the person he is with the kind of conflict he's facing. (once again, all the relationships llh have are embedded with a degree of them being unrequited and it's <333 </333)

THEY REALLY ARE KILLING ME TOO IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE YEAH

[blueindigo17]

hi writeblr!! it's nice to meet you!!

I’ve had this blog for years but never posted anything bc to be honest I was a little afraid of tumblr when I first joined, but recently I decided that since I like talking about my wips so much to my friends/family irl, why not blog about them? I also want to find some writing mutuals, since I like hearing about people’s stories just as much as I like telling them about mine. Feel free to interact, follow, message, etc. I love making friends :D

About me <3

I go by Blue or BlueIndigo online, so feel free to use either of those :)

My pronouns are she/her

I’m 19, which also happens to be my favorite number :)

I have five (sort of six?) wips and over a hundred characters. I may have a problem.

I am a BIG swiftie (favorite albums are 1989 TV and TTPD), and I listen to a lot of 5SOS, Olivia Rodrigo, Gracie Abrams, Conan Gray, and The Scarlet Opera. Also the occasional Chappell Roan.

I love reading!! My favorite books are Carrie Soto Is Back by Taylor Jenkins Reid (my fav author) and She Drives Me Crazy by Kelly Quindlen.

I've played ukulele for a few years, and I recently started learning guitar. there's a greater than zero chance I might post any music things in the future. ig we'll see.

I have a thing where my wip titles have to make good acronyms or I don’t use them. idk why either.

I love talking about my wips (and also everything else) to the point of annoyance. (#blueindigo says things for non-wip related stuff <3)

tag games are an ABSOLUTE YES my personal brand of yapping is answering questions lol

I like to write…

Realistic/contemporary fiction

Young adult/new adult

LGBTQ+ characters

Coming of age

Romance

Friend groups/found family

otherwise just people being people :)

More about my wips below !!

My WIPs

Never Have We Ever (NHWE)

Tags: #wip: never have we ever #wip: NHWE

Summary: Liz has the best friends a girl could ask for. Harley, Mikey, and Natasha have been her people since elementary school, and Trevor and Amanda since middle school. Their whole lives, things have been pretty much the same. Same kids in their classes every year. Same streets between the same houses. Same, same, same. At the end of her freshman year of high school, just about when Liz is wondering how much same she could possibly handle, she catches Trevor’s eye as he laughs at someone’s joke, and something deep inside her lights up. Something she doesn’t know what to do with. Something she can't push back down once it comes barreling up to the surface. So much for same. After that, things can’t stop changing. And not just in her own life—her friend group starts pulling apart at the seams. Harley begins withdrawing from everyone with no explanation. Mikey gets in bigger trouble with his dad than ever. Natasha only has a year before she has to move off to college. Amanda is stuck between the person she is and the person the world wants her to be. Trevor seems to have gotten off easy, but Liz can’t be around him for more than a minute without falling head over heels all over again. In this collection of short stories, Liz has to wonder if the change of pace she thought she wanted is worth it. Sometimes it’s hard to be brave, and she’s never been the most open to change, but unfortunately, that does not stop it from happening. The only question is: what is she going to do about it?

Genres: short stories, realistic fiction, young adult, coming of age, contemporary Themes: found family, first crushes, dealing with change, growing up, maintaining friendships Characters: Liz Stanton 🩵, Harley Wilson 💚, Mikey Miller 💛, Natasha Knightley 💜, Trevor Marshall ❤️, Amanda Hamilton 🩷

NHWE is my oldest WIP, started on December 16, 2019. It’s been on ice lately, since the plot has gone through so many changes that I haven’t known what to do with it in a while, but one of my goals with posting about it is to warm myself back up to it. I think writing that summary was a good place to start. Wish me luck :D

The Together List (TTL)

Tags: #wip: the together list #wip: TTL

Summary: Audrey is in her first month of college. Within three weeks, she’s moved out of her childhood bedroom and into a room with a window that seems to open on its own and a door that creaks loud enough to wake up the whole floor, she’s stumbled into a friend group that seemed to pull itself together like drawstrings, and she’s gotten a job at an adorable independent milkshake shop with her roommate and one of her new friends. What more could she possibly ask for? The world, it seems. Audrey has a list ten miles long of all the little things she wants college to be. One night, she starts listing them out loud. Her friends—Logan, Lennon, McKinley, Aspen, and Levi—chime in with their own after a moment, and before anyone knows it it’s been three hours and they haven’t stopped. They aren’t even sure whose idea it is, but they start writing it down. Every box on this ridiculously decorated list will be checked off by the end of the year, they swear. Someone makes an Instagram account as a joke, but by the first post it’s become as serious an endeavor as they’ve ever had. They wouldn’t call themselves local celebrities, but they certainly wouldn’t correct you if you did. The thing about fame at this age, even at small amounts, is that it's bound to go to someone's head...

Genres: realistic fiction, young adult fiction, new adult fiction, coming of age, LGBTQ+ fiction Themes: LGBTQ+, friendships, fame, college, becoming an adult, relationships Characters: Audrey Marshall 💙, Logan Levine 🧡, Lennon Adler 💛, McKinley March 💜, Aspen Brady ❤️, Levi Jackson 💚

TTL was created on August 18, 2021. I saw a post on Pinterest of someone's summer bucket list and that sounded like such a fun thing to do with friends that I had to write about it. Two and a half-ish years later, TTL has also gone through many changes, so I'm sort of trying to refresh it now. I'm very excited to see where it takes me!

(Fun fact: the main character, Audrey, is the older sister of Trevor from NHWE!)

The Violet Sisters Club (TVSC)

Tags: #wip: the violet sisters club #wip: TVSC

Summary: The Violet Sisters Club, a world famous all-female pop rock band, is facing a very public lawsuit from a former hotheaded manager over their most recent album. Following the conclusion of their case, lead singer Naomi Tyler, drummer Inez Wilde, guitarist Chrissy Cameron, and bassist Francesca Sheridan escape to the luxurious Overlook Estate, a privately owned rental property on an island off the southern coast of California. Here, they can spend the summer out of the public eye, writing songs they don’t need to worry about releasing and letting the public wonder what they’re up to as they let the tension out of their muscles. With a property four times the size of Alcatraz Island and a beach over a mile long, the Overlook offers the band a respite from the go, go, go of touring, the privacy invasion of paparazzi, and the exhaustion of being micromanaged every minute of every day. Four pools, seven hot tubs, the aforementioned private beach, a high tech recording studio (just in case), a few golf carts just to get around the property and a Jeep to get to town. It’s unimaginably expensive, it’s incomprehensibly big, and it’s everything they need. But this escape may not be the relaxing California beach paradise they imagined. Soon, it becomes hard to hide how much the stress of fame was eating away at each of them—emotions run high, patiences run thin, days run long, nights run longer, and the strength of the band is questioned as the girls’ insecurities and anxieties bubble to the surface after a lifetime in the spotlight.

Genres: realistic fiction, contemporary fiction, literary fiction Themes: fame, music, romance, found family, secrets, breakups Characters: Naomi Tyler (lead singer, songwriter) 💜, Inez Wilde (drummer, vocalist, songwriter) 🩷, Chrissy Cameron (guitarist, vocalist, songwriter) 💙, Francesca Sheridan (bassist, vocalist, songwriter) 💚

TVSC was created on February 5, 2023, but the characters have been around almost as long as TTL. Initially, I created the Violet Sisters Club as a fictional band that would exist within The Together List, but at some point I couldn't get the idea of a TVSC-focused novel out of my head. I'm glad I never did, because some of my favorite ideas I've ever had have gone into TVSC. If I could have one wish, it would be for all of TVSC's songs to be real so I could listen to them without having to write them first.

Now That We Don’t Talk (NTWDT)

Tags: #wip: now that we don’t talk #wip: NTWDT

Summary: There are two important things to know about Hazel Henry and Saiah Bradford.  One: They kinda-sorta hate each other after they broke up last year at prom. (The same prom that ended with the school almost burning down and Hazel's twin brother's best friend going to the hospital. Bad memories all around.) Two: Someone on the planning committee for their senior class trip must be out to get them, because when they arrive at the hotel, they find out they’ve been assigned to the same room. This should have been impossible; Saiah requested to be paired with her best friend, Tory, who's going to have some explaining to do later, and Hazel would bet her life on the fact that she requested a room alone. Now, for the next two weeks, they’re both stuck in the same narrow room with its little square bathroom and practically-nonexistent privacy. The air conditioner turns on at random times, they seem to be paired together for every single scheduled activity, and perhaps worst of all—their friends all seem to find this situation absolutely hilarious.  But it’s just two weeks, right? It’ll be over before they know it, and soon they can both go back to pretending their relationship—and each other—never existed. Right? Right? Happy senior year to them. 

Genres: realistic fiction, young adult fiction, contemporary fiction, LGBTQ+ fiction, romance Themes: reconciliation, romance, friendship, forgiveness, guilt, regrets, family, growing up Characters: Hazel Henry 🩷, Nick Henry 💙, Saiah Bradford 💚, Tory Whitehouse 💛

NTWDT was created on October 18, 2023. Hilariously, I came up with the plot after making Hazel and Saiah in the Sims, and I literally couldn't stop thinking about them whenever I wasn't playing. As I do with every character I create, I became obsessed with them, and now here we are. And in case you're wondering, yes, I named it after the Taylor Swift song lol.

Trouble In Paradise (TIP)

Tags: #wip: trouble in paradise #wip: TIP

Summary: Sixteen years ago, Joe Alexander and Ben King drove across the US in the pursuit of Joe's true love. Today, Joe is preparing to move out of his and his ex-wife's house and drive across the country once more, joined by his daughter, Bryce, and his best friend/his daughter's biological father, Ben. It's all familiar—the long stretches of empty fields, collapsing onto a cheap hotel bed for the night, never being able to decide where to stop for food—and yet, Joe has no idea what he's in for.  This is a story of two cross-country road trips, and the lives that one woman is able to ruin in between. Joe Alexander and Ben King have both lost their entire worlds to Lilly Alexander. But the ones they’ve gained after her might be—in some weird, unconventional way—a little better.

Genres: realistic fiction, contemporary fiction, adult fiction, literary fiction Themes: reconciliation, moving on, guilt, parenting, cheating, manipulation, mental illness, past sexual assault Characters: Joe Alexander, Ben King, Bryce Alexander, Lilly Alexander

TIP is technically my newest WIP, since I came up with the full plot earlier this year (February 13, 2024). I've had the vague idea of it for just over a year, but I didn't quite know what to do with it until recently. It's definitely more mature with its topics than my other wips, as you might be able to tell by the themes, but I really like the concept and I've had a lot of fun plotting it so far, even if it's a little out of my comfort zone.

(Fun fact: the original title way back when the characters didn't even have last names was High Infidelity, after the Taylor Swift song, since I thought it was so thematically appropriate.)

···

OKAY I'm pretty sure I have officially run out of things to say. If you made it all the way here, thank you so much for reading! Like I said earlier, feel free to interact any way you like :D

This post is sort of a masterpost for all my wips, but I'm also doing posts for each wip separately so I can go into more detail. Those are/will be linked in the title for each wip.

Thanks again for reading, and have a good day/night !!

―BlueIndigo <3

[dooplissss]

i saw your tags on that post, can you tell me about the homestuck quadrants? i was hugely into homestuck like 10 years ago but i’ve forgotten almost everything. i want to remember the ancient ways

* cracks knuckles >:) *

Matesprit ❤️ is easy, its just what humans see as romance and true love etc. One of the two reproductive quadrants, yadda yadda you get it.

Examples: - Morticia <3 Gomez - Ruby <3 Sapphire - Darcy <3 Elizabeth, with arguably some grey/black romance thru the story but thats what makes it so enduring

Moirails ♦️ is my personal favorite quadrant and is fairly straightforward, tho the canon definition is different from fanon. In fanon, its interpreted basically as best friends/queerplatonic, which, yeah, can and usually does happen with that proximity and thats why I love it, but in canon its more a power balance to prevent violence and death, typically with one figure reining back a more chaotic one. When applying to humans and other fandoms tho its better to lean toward the slightly fanon interpretation since Alternia's violent culture is so different from ours.

Examples: - Nepeta <> Equius - Aziraphale <> Crowley (obvi the situation is changing but lets leave this here) - Dean <> Castiel (obvi i'm team matesprit but canonically they belong here up til cas declares his love) - Joel <> Ellie (this is a strictly platonic quadrant dw) - Caleb <> Nott/Veth (I want to shake liam and sam so bad and explain that the relationship they were looking for was right here and they didnt have to awkwardly choose between romance and friendship)

Auspictice ♣️is the one everyone gets wrong and drives me the most insane. It's a tricky and very specific balancing dynamic thats hard to find, except maybe on the CW. Canonically, its a group of three people, two (left and right leaves) want to outright kill each other. This does not make them kismesis, I cannot stress that enough, kismesis don't want each other dead, but we'll get there in a sec. The third person is meant to prevent them from killing each other, being the mediator. Its rare for this dynamic to not be outright toxic, esp in human examples, but its a healthy option on Alternia to prevent unnecessary murder. I think this dynamic is meant to be temporary tho, even in that culture, as it weighs on the mediator a lot.

Examples: - Eridan <3< Sollux ^ Feferi, unfortunately unsuccessful showing how difficult and straining this relationship type is (also everyone who said eridan and sollux were kismesis owes me $5, I'll become a millionaire instantly) - Edward <3< Jacob ^ Bella - Pearl <3< Greg ^ Steven, a happy ending example of an auspictice (ignore the ptsd)

Kismesis ♠️is. man where do I begin. its so good. its such a fun dynamic, especially when you have a pairing that gets it just right. Kismesis is perfect enemies, arch-rivals that share a mutual respect and drive each other to improve themselves to better outwit their opponent. Its when a captain sees one of their ships on fire and smiles, knowing just who did it. Its tipping your opponents head up by the tip of a sword. Its the bad guy showing up at your doorstep because theres no one else they trust more than their greatest nemesis. Its the other reproductive quadrant because its just as deep and passionate as true love, and it can in fact switch between love and hate very easily and often.

Examples: - Quark <3< Odo (imo the BEST non-homestuck example) - Batman <3< Joker (friend hates when i say this but i'm right, esp with lego batman) - Xavier <3< Magneto - Light <3< L - God <3< Satan, why not lmao

I wish homestuck was seen as less cringe bc the quadrants are SOOO FUN to apply to ships and dynamics in other fandoms and contexts. At the same time, people get the quadrants wrong constantly, especially between kismesis and auspictice. And the quadrants aren't static, you don't have to lock a ship in just one forever! feelings change and very easily turn from black to red to black again, its all so complicated and fun to watch.

Hope all this makes sense lmao, thanks for the ask!

[thatonesongyouretryingtoremember]

(I loved your dead boy detectives game!)

Hey just read your tags and I totally agree with you with you— in every fandom I have been in, there’s at least one major fanon character interpretation that feels like a misinterpretation to me. So that being said, I don’t think it’s inherently bad to make a post with different evidence, because that’s what makes fandom fun! It also might be a relief to other people who also weren’t into the earlier meta analysis. I think where it gets hairy are the little comments like “everyone who disagrees with me is bad/dumb/stupid” that get tacked on at the end, or direct references to people who like other characters or ships all being malicious. There’s just no need for that, and I’ve seen it a lot in the past few days from some folks. :/

Games and general analysis spread a lot of positivity though! That’s what keeps fandom alive and makes people feel like they’re part of the fun. Thanks again for starting that ask game.

Actually, I started that ask game specifically to meet people!

Big fandoms are usually riddled with ppl who annoy one another, so my strategy is usually to *start* in the tag so I can block any blogs that would stop me from having fun with fandom, and whittle it down to a mutuals group so I can eventuality just use my dash instead.

I decided to use a mixture of surface, deep, and canon-irrelevant questions in order for others who use it to see multiple types of answers that blogs might not post otherwise, and realize which blogs they like. I think asking questions someone might not think to make a post on otherwise can be very revealing. Ask engagement is a really fun way to make friends here!

I think there are definitely points where mischaracterization can be malintended or even just accidentally harmful- reducing characters to either just their actions or just their circumstance runs the risk of stereotyping them or romanticizing/demonizing their behaviors, neither of which makes fandom a fun or accommodating form of socializing. Personally I take a non-confrontational approach and try to narrow my interaction, but I really don't know how to make fandom safer in general. I don't want to waste time on people who don't care, but it is hard to tell the difference between people who will and won't listen until you spend time asking!

Part of why it is difficult (for me) to make that distinction is fandom language. "ship" is a big one! When people "ship" a pairing, I don't know whether they mean it is interesting, whether they want it to be canon, whether or not they think it is healthy, whether they think it is already implied, or some other meaning, all of which change how and if I'd interact with them- and making fandom friends is part of why I'm here! I don't really have a solution here either, but it is pretty hard to navigate and pretty easy to get lost 'round these parts.

It's also hard to tell with popular fanon if people *know* it's fanon

Anyways, half of that was totally irrelevant to the ask bc I got into a tangent, but basically thanks for visiting my blog, even if you don't stay long! Have fun with fandom ! <2

(And one last hot tip! I mentioned going into the main tag before finding the blogs y'all like, but character tags, art/fic/meta-specific tags, and ship tags will tailor more to your taste!)

[gingerpeachtea]

wip title ask game!

Prompt: Make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

tysm @the-sparkling-diamond-satine for the tag !! v excited for this :3

misc fandoms:

fuck kait kerrigan (the great gatsby)

christian/satine oogh (moulin rouge)

(i have SO many ideas for ted lasso, merrily, moulin rouge, and bandstand fics but i haven't been able to start anything new in like a year bc of school :C)

graceland:

something's in your eyes / achilles' heel

mcb OKKKKKKKKKKKK

you touch my leg and i insist (but i wake up before we do it)

mike tshot

if i make it to the morning (chapter 2 hehe >:3)

mike headache and gay people

polyamickfic

mjcb sleepwalking

there are things he can't tell him (johnny traumaturro)

mike shower whump

agents of shield:

fancy mission fic

keep your beady eyes on me (make sure i don't turn to dust)

bkeoat (bus kids existence of all time)

bkeoat squeakquel

i stepped through—there was no floor

tarps (this is my loss of love, my loss of limb)

don't leave a stranger

fitzdaisy wall of valor

braindead:

otherwise occupied

gareth storm augh scaree

laurel bug ears

laurel sickfic of all time

laurel sickfic 2

adhd laurel

i feel like there are definitely some that i'm missing but also i've finished so many fics this year so maybe that's why these lists feel shorter than they should?? very insane to me

tagging: @cemeteryklaus @jortspheus @emeraldelysium @aaronstveit @bumblingest-bee @catboyrichardkarinsky @dammitradar @s4intjust @wheelsup-sevenup @lunar-years @saint-ossifrage @solarisone084 @acerobbiereyes @harvsbian and also anyone else who sees this and wants to do it PLS PLS PLS feel free !!! i just don't know who to tag bc idk which mutuals of mine write fic or not lmao

[foliejpg]

oh yippie more asks:D

i have a lot :3

🍓🌵🥑🥤🌻🧃🧸🪐🍬🦷❄️🌿🏜️🍦🌸🎨🧩

you dont have to answer all of them but here you gooo

oh hell yes this is gonna be so fun <3

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction? 

i don't remember specifically how, but i know i first interacted with shipping on youtube in like 2007-08 back when you could comment on people's profiles and message other users, so i think i must have commented on some like.. pokeshipping amv and just struck up a convo before i followed some friends i made to ff.net and deviantart, and started writing on ff.net lol

🌵 ⇢ share the link to a playlist you love

so i don't use spotify, i'm an apple music girlie and i really only listen to my own playlist i made that is composed of all of my top 100 songs of the year going back to 2015 LMAO

🥑 ⇢ you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?

@actuallyalaska she got me

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

every writer i tagged yesterday!! all of whom take part of the @bandomthememonths go read all these great fics by these awesome writers<333

🌻 ⇢ tag someone you appreciate but don't talk to on a regular basis

@judasisgayriot your gifs are a godsend and i always love getting a comment from them <3

🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before

my name is short for guinevere lol

🧸 ⇢ what's the fastest way to become your mutual?

so i'm sort of picky abt my dash lol i try to stick to foblr so if you post mostly fob then i'll prob follow! i do a good scroll through to get the vibe, but if they post a lot of non fob stuff, i usually skip bc its just not for me but no hard feelings ever<3

🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now

well i just bought a new (refurbished) computer for the first time in a few years, so that's exciting! i've recently started making embroidery patches and that's been a lot of fun lol idk i've just been having a good time<3 i'm doing a lot of home renovation projects so i'm excited to have a brand new kitchen soon lmao

🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

not a fandom character but as far as bandom goes, i don't really care for mcr and maybe that just has everything to do with that i'm really not familiar with lore/band mbrs etc., but danger days is the only mcr album i really connected with especially when i was 16-17 and its still one of my favorite albums, but i'm good on their other albums lol

🦷 ⇢ share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on

just be kind<3 ik that's super cheesy but i think its easy to forget that other ppl have feelings too and maybe just being nice to someone will make their day. also don't ever pay full price for anything if you can avoid it. generic brands are just as good as name brands

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

i have.. no idea honestly lmao

🌿 ⇢ give some advice on writer's block and low creativity

listen when i figure it out, i'll let you know lol when i'm stuck i eat an edible and stare at the wall until something comes to me

🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

ANY AND ALL!!!! especially when they tell me a specific part they liked - even if its just a line makes my heart go bu-bump<3

🍦 ⇢ name three good things about a character you hate

genuinely i can't think of a character i hate, i really don't watch anything but like. seinfeld and its always sunny in philadelphia lmfao

🌸 ⇢ do you have any pets? if you do, post some pictures of them

this is my cat bear<3 she's ten years old and sleeps in a drawer in my desk while i work

🎨 ⇢ link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it

here and here and here and this nsfw fanart from my bubbline au these are all my absolute favorites <3

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

i answered this here but its super long so<3

[wetcatspellcaster]

for the dvd meme, chapter 7 of pieces still stuck in your teeth, from where astarion says "i knew it" to "you returned to me. i knew you would." i've read that chapter like five times it's SO delightful, SUCH a fun narrative payoff too HAHA

Thank you for the ask, anon! I will copy and paste the text you're referring to under the keep reading tab, just so this doesn't end up being too long/I don't expose my IRL mutuals to the horniest part of my fic lol :')

So, here we are, at the horniest part of my fic :-)

In more serious commentary, this was one of the scenes I had from the very inception of this story - I knew that Astarion was going to have killed people to get Tav back to the Gate, and I knew he was going to reveal it at literally The Worst Possible moment. I really wanted to write a chapter that turned from horny to horror without warning, and this is the speech that I envisaged doing that work for me. As such, it went through many, many drafts!

I know I said this in comments at the time, but... when examining this chapter from Astarion's perspective? Why *wouldn't* he be this fucking cocky? He has no idea what's going on in Rose's mind or why she's agreed to go to his house so easily, and why she's gotten so close to him with complete disregard of the wider situation. So as far as he's concerned, he murdered a bunch of people (which was the only risk in his plan, he thinks) and she's still down to fuck only days later. Honestly, he doesn't even *need* the ego he has, to think this is a done deal.

I also said this a lot in comments, but as such, any respect he held out for her is just gone in this moment, and that's why he immediately plays his whole hand, because he doesn't see her as a worthy opponent in the slightest. I was leaning on what developers/writers said about how he loses respect for people who fall for the superficial sex appeal and endanger themselves because of it- if this is the means by which he can do them harm, then he feels they've sealed their own fate. In his eyes, this is exactly what Rose looks like in this moment (not knowing anything about her own hidden agenda).

I also think that, if you've romanticised the one thing you've lost and can never get back, and then suddenly it's there, and it's almost... too easy, then that also makes you disappointed and angry. Maybe part of the reason he says all this heinous stuff here to try and test the waters further, maybe even anger her so there's some spark of a challenge or a fight. Maybe he wanted to make everything a little more difficult for the both of them, just so it stays fun and interesting.

As I said in previous asks, I am not really a Dead Dove writer - I appreciate the girlies who are, but it's just not something I can do (I mean, I can't even write smut lmfao). So I wanted the violation and emotional impact of non-con without any of the graphic depictions of it... lots of people have said in comments that the moment he refuses to let her go is the moment he proves he's evil, and I certainly approve of this interpretation. But here, I was mostly just in thrall to the Yandere tag lmao. He can't imagine her protests being true bc he can't imagine a world where they aren't destined for each other. And also, in this case, a world where his seduction techniques (now so well honed, now nearly unstoppable, now the only thing people seem to want from him) do not work - especially on her.

As to some specifics about the section itself:

the phrase 'little love' is, I feel, single handedly responsible for any and all Ascended ending brainrot I have. Like COME ON. What a term of endearment! What a term of endearment to MAKE EVIL!!!!

'I was bored' got workshopped a lot as the 'foreshadowing' phrase, bc I really struggled to find something that was both vague but also had ambiguous meaning from the beginning. If the delivery is a little clunky here, that's why... I agonised over this for weeks lmao

'Every meal without savour' - cue Chapter Ten, when he gets really excited that Rosalie wants to drink hot chocolate with him, and briefly loses any composure bc the future he envisages is finally getting tested out.

"how you much used to hate slavers.” This is me still making digs at Grymforge, 4 months later. Fucking Grymforge.

"You yourself would've carved through that room like a righteous blade, my love." Look. I wrote this line. And I decided. It would work on me.

DVD commentary ask

"I knew it,” he repeated.

“I knew it was only a matter of distance," he muttered into her shoulder, almost to himself. He kissed the spot: she jumped at the touch, and he hummed approvingly. "I knew that the moment I got you here, darling heart, that this would be inevitable. A matter of days, Rosalie. That is all the time you could hold out on me, the longest you could bear to resist. You don’t want me to charm you? Fine. I don’t need glamour, to make you like this. Let us both know that this was all you, and only ever for me.”

She tensed up, and he soothed again, making a chiding sound. “Hush, now, don’t be prideful. Why fight this, little love? Why deny yourself? You're not very good at it. Isn’t it so much better, this way? Doesn’t it feel good?"

"I - what?" Rosalie said, fighting to clear her head as fear and desire warred within her thoughts.

Had he not caught her? Because if so, she had done what was needed. But now she was trapped - and each word that came out of Astarion's mouth was more sinuous and sinister than the last, coiling decadently around her.

"So bored,” Astarion murmured in a low voice, nosing along her collarbone, breathing her in. “Every day the same, every day interminable. Every meal without savour, every conversation dull, and I knew you were what's missing. I knew it. I knew all I had to do was lure you back to me. And you do so love to play hard to get, but it wasn’t exactly difficult, was it, my love-?”

Rosalie struggled to make sense of what he was saying. It wasn’t precisely a threat, but it wasn’t bedroom talk either. What did he mean by ‘bored’?

No, actually, Shadowheart had said, when Rosalie had asked how the Vampire Ascendent had responded to the murders. He gave a three word reply: ‘I was bored.’

“No, in fact, it was easy,” Astarion smirked into her skin. “You put up a good front, my darling. But here you are: with me. Where you’re supposed to be. Where you will stay. You will make everything better. All I needed to do was to make you come back to me, and finally, here you are.”

Rosalie froze up. Her mind began to whir, almost as if she couldn’t dare let herself think, to follow the logic too far to its horrible, inevitable conclusion…

"The party," she said, heart pounding. “Those people who died-”

She tried to pull against his hold on her hands, moving her body back as far back from his as it would go. But it was like pulling on iron shackles, and Astarion didn't budge, simply leaning in further into her space, her legs trapped on either side of his body, and the evidence of his reaction to her utterly impossible to avoid.

"All terrible, heinous people, I assure you," Astarion told her conversationally, kissing his way along her shoulder without any concern for her sudden resistance. "No one who deserves to be mourned: all wretches and ingrates, murderers and thieves and flesh peddlers and slavers - I remember, pet, how you much used to hate slavers.”

Rose tugged at her hands, again - he ran his thumbs over her knuckles, and pinned them down harder.

“You yourself would've carved through that room like a righteous blade, my love. But I did it, all for you. I invited them all there, and they all came, like the cattle they are. And then I slaughtered them for their crimes, and now they’ve served their purpose, for here you are again, with me, once more."

Astarion's mouth was still moving all over her skin, which had begun to crawl. He reached behind her back and undid the clasp of her bra as he narrated. He whispered the words against her, like her body was made for his secrets, and then kissed the flesh, open mouthed.

"Astarion," Rose said, "you need to stop - I need to think - you said you didn't do it for any reason-"

His hands came up to her arms, and tightened to bruising, holding her in place even as his thumbs stroked circles designed to soothe.

"Of course there was a reason. You said that if I killed people, you'd come back and stop me," he said, moving back and pressing his forehead against hers, silvery lashes blurring with the closeness of her vision. His breath ghosted across her still-damp mouth as he smiled with utter tranquillity. “But you didn't try to stop me, did you? Cornered in Ramazith, and you simply let me walk away. And now, here you are. You just… came back. You returned to me. I knew you would."

[inchidentally]

I am new to the Landoscar fandom but I adore their chemistry and the fics. I saw your post about how you’re a part of the fandom that actively protects the girls in their rl which is awesome because I didn’t even know what the Carlando fans had done. I’m so happy to hear this fandom seems a bit more mature than that. How can I join? I’d like to make like minded friends 😊

yes!! we love and support Lily here and the line between shipping landoscar as a couple vs as their real life relationship is extremely clear. a similar ship is George and Alex where both Lily and Carmen are beloved by the people who ship galex. it's so easy to not hate women, adore the two guys' real life friendship, and then ship them romantically for fun in non-public spaces. so so easy.

the larrying of car|ando breaks my heart a little bc that was my first F1 rpf ship and I also love their real life friendship - genuinely the Singapore race meant way more to me emotionally for Carlos having always been big protective brother to Lando than needing to put on ship goggles. no one rly knows why car|ando is the one that people have decided is "legit" esp when Daniel and Lando straight up did the gay baiting stuff and Max V is the only driver that Lando actively has an off-season engagement with (as well as a longer driver relationship than Carlos or Daniel). but there's no reasoning w people who use vile rampant misogyny against real life girlfriends as if that will someone make two guy friends suddenly get married or whatever.

but I will say that a lot of us who still ship car|ando aren't in the larry crowd and can distinguish reality from fiction so don't be too spooked off them <3

honestly as a relatively new blog myself I can tell you that everyone in landoscar fandom is extremely kind and welcoming! my walls of text have got to get tedious at times but if anyone's annoyed then they don't say and just scroll on by!

but a heads up that tumblr is a very tricky place for keeping up with people and content by the tags and dash alone so I would make sure to tag your posts very well and also just start sending in some asks to blogs! personally I try to systematically check mutuals blogs bc tumblr sometimes shoves a person's posts wayyyy down.

and this is a personal preference and I'm not sure if you're a fic writer but it's such a huge help with fic posts if there's a banner or even just a pic bc for some reason those show up on my dash more than text post only fic.

[jean-meowreau]

Used to be @/bokuakamazing.

I'm gonna set up a proper info post for myself but for now I'm sharing my simple one from Twitter just bc I want to make sure everything is a safe space for anyone following me!! I try to do my best to give tags for certain content but I may mess up and if it's not for you please feel free to take care of yourself first and foremost and unfollow ♡

A note: I do not personally consume or share non-con content but some people consider high sex, heat/rut sex in A/B/O, and somno between consenting partners to be non-con so I have that there. I don't consume or share explicit assault content, including content with minors in NSFW situations at all. I do support CNC, which is an established BDSM setting between consenting partners who've set up limits before a scene.

Adding incest to this list. Never really had to think about it until now.

I am not a furry but some of the art is stunning but ik it can be an ick for some. I do share content like death, suicide, self-harm, eating disorders - exploration and also some trauma exploration. I write and may share content around torture because learning about it was a special interest when I was younger and I do still find it intriguing.

I share trans content that some young trans peeps can find triggering: bottoming from the front, non-op trans art/fic, and maybe some pregnancy content. (Pregnancy is triggering to me so this is very rare but I may share content discussing why telling trans men they can't get pregnant is transphobic and also informative posts/graphics about pregnancy and how to keep yourself safe should you become pregnant and are heading towards birth.)

I'm queer and ig agender, I kinda don't care. Preferred pronouns are it/its but as someone who's grown up half my time in Texas I understand that using them can be triggering, so he/him is also okay. My romantic labels depend on my partner(s) gender orientation. I love everyone in a gay way, so sometimes I'm a girlfriend, sometimes I'm a boyfriend, sometimes I'm a partner. I'm not here to debate it. If you can't handle that just leave now.

I'm a cult survivor, still deconstructing but 8 years free. I'm agnostic and do often share sacrilegious content so if that is something you're uncomfortable with I recommend muting tags like "sacrilege" and/or "sacrilegious" if you want to keep following. I respect religion and everyone's preference/practice, please respect my decision to not know who/what is in charge and not really give a fuck about it rn.

My interests atm(Aug. 28 2024) are: AFTG, Call of Duty, Haikyuu, Teen Wolf, Good Omens, Dead Boy Detectives, Our Flag Means Death, Interview With a Vampire, What We Do In The Shadows, and other medias I see every so often from mutuals. Sometimes I share art/writing of fandom I'm not even in because I like it. I'll usually try to copy in OPs tags for fandoms and characters and ships where applicable so hopefully tag mutes work.

My Twitter and Instagram are the same username as my blog title.

My AO3 pseuds(by fandom)

- ErlKönig (Call of Duty)

- WretchedLittleRunaway (AFTG)

- SquishySterek (Teen Wolf - very old)

- BokuAkAmazing (Haikyuu - old, not as old as TW)

I do have an Etsy store:

I sell my own merch designs/jewelry and also run my charity projects through here. At the moment I am running:

@sunshine-soap-zine - A huge appreciation zine for John Soap MacTavish (Call of Duty)

@aftg-pinups - an AFTG Pinup Calendar

@cobooty-pinups - A Call of Duty pinup calendar (second year)

My DMs and ask box are always open. I'm autistic so please use tone tags/clarify tone when you can. I'm happy to discuss things I'm in opposition towards but please know I do not owe you my mental or emotional health and can stop/refrain if I so choose.

Thank you ♡

[vintage-bentley]

when compared to some bigger fandom id say gelphie is not a big ship and it takes a while for me to find fics i'd consider reading (bc of tags/formatting) and then when i do half the time they give elphaba (green witch from the wizard of oz) a dick and just do not tag it. im still flabbergasted it's 2024 and it's progressive to make the more masculine woman in a ship into a man/male enby

just very frustrated with the state of f/f bc non binary identity just seems like an excuse to give women penises, when i read fics for another fandom one of the women is played by an actress that uses they/them so half the fics also give her a dick. the entire plot of the show happens bc she doesnt have one have some tact😭 id complain on my own page but i dont want to be blocked by half my mutuals since they are lovely people just drank the gender kool aid

This is exactly why I don’t even venture into F/F tags. Seeing dicks being inserted into F/F ships hurts so much for so many reasons…the main ones being how personal it is to me, and how strong the pressures on lesbians from the trans community to like dick are. It’s something that already upsets me irl, and I don’t want to see it in fiction too.

And tbh I’ve gotten the same way with M/M ships. Maybe I’m just sensitive but it hurts so much just to see people straightwashing same sex ships, that I’m not interested in wading through that shit just to find one fic that respects homosexuality.

And filtering tags only goes so far, because I’ve run into fics that just has surprise het sex in the middle with no tags.

I find it’s especially prevalent with fandoms involving some sort of magic system (which is why I haven’t even given Buffy or First Kill fics a chance. I’d rather live in blissful ignorance like I wish I had with GO, than be hit with people hettifying ships that mean a lot to me). No matter the magic system, people will find a way to use it to give a female character a dick or a male character a pussy. Because straight sex is oh so important to write all the goddamn time.

I’m sorry that you have to deal with this in your fandoms 💜 it’s so painfully lonely to be surrounded by genderists who don’t give half a shit about homosexuality and homophobia, and care much more about their magic gender feels and their love for hettery. And even though it’s just online fandom stuff that really shouldn’t matter…it’s sad to know that these are real people running around in the world who think it’s perfectly okay to write heterosexual sex and call it “gay”.